Christa Innis

Excluded Stepdaughters, A Cancelled Wedding, and One Hell of a Party with Kath Jones

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Your fiancé calls off your wedding SEVEN DAYS before the big day. What do you do?!

If you’re Kath Jones, you put on your white outfit, call your people, go to Tuscany, and HAVE THE PARTY ANYWAY.

In this episode, we talked about the moment her six-and-a-half-year relationship came crashing down, how she leaned on her family and friends, and why she refused to let one person’s decision ruin an entire week she had been looking forward to. 

Then we spiral into one of the WILDEST family wedding stories involving an “evil stepmom,” multiple marriages, excluded children, financial drama, and TEN uninvited Mormon missionaries. Plus: bachelorette costs, bridesmaid expectations, kid-free weddings, and why your girlfriends might actually be your soulmates.

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Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • The Groom Calls It Off – Seven Days Before the Wedding: Kath reveals what happened when her fiancé told her he didn’t think they should get married just one week before their Tuscany wedding.
  • The Wedding Was Canceled… Sort Of – Instead of throwing away months of planning, Kath decided the celebration would go ahead without the groom. The wedding became one unforgettable party with her closest friends and family.
  • Taking Back the Power – Kath explains why creating content, laughing with her friends, and sharing her story helped her process what happened—and why she refused to carry the shame.
  • The Village Matters – Kath and Christa talk about the importance of maintaining friendships and family relationships instead of disappearing into a romantic relationship.
  • The Fourth Wedding, Fifth Wedding Drama – Christa and Kath react to a wild story involving a bride who excluded her new husband’s daughters from the wedding—and apparently had much bigger plans for isolating the family.
  • Ten Uninvited Wedding Guests?! – Just when the wedding story couldn’t get stranger, TEN Mormon missionaries show up and start grabbing plates of food.
  • Bachelorette Drama & Big Bills – The pair discuss outrageous bachelorette expectations, including being asked to spend thousands on accommodations—and why you can simply say NO.
  • Kid-Free Means Kid-Free – Christa and Kath tackle the never-ending debate over child-free weddings and why couples should be allowed to set the rules for their own celebration.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  • “No, I’m not letting it go to waste. Like, this is my life, too. I’m gonna enjoy it.” – Christa Innis
  • “You need your girlfriends, you need your friends, you need other people other than your partner.” – Christa Innis
  • “Like, when people tell a story from their perspective, they make themselves sound a little bit better, right?” – Christa Innis
  • “No one is making you. If you’re not close enough to them that you wanna go to their bachelorette, just say no.” – Christa Innis
  • “A wedding is NOT the time to critique the couple, talk about how your wedding was better, or complain about their choices.” – Christa Innis
  • “I wasn’t gonna let all these nice outfits go to waste because of you.” – Kath Jones
  • “Why ruin it for everyone else as well when I know that I have the power to let everyone still come and have a great time?” – Kath Jones
  • “We’re not to blame here. Why should we be ashamed? Why should we curl up in a corner because of something a man’s done to us?” – Kath Jones
  • “Don’t lose your friends when you get in a relationship.” – Kath Jones
  • “Girlfriends are your soulmates, and then everyone else is just to have fun with.” – Kath Jones

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

About Kath

Katherine Jones is an entrepreneur, content creator, and the woman behind the viral “jilted bride” story that turned heartbreak into a whole new chapter. After her fiancé called off their wedding just seven days before the big day, Kath refused to let the heartbreak define her. Instead, she gathered her people, kept the Tuscany celebration alive, and turned what could have been one of the worst days of her life into an unforgettable party. Now, she shares her story, the lessons, the laughs, and the messy realities of starting over, one story time at a time.

She is also the founder of ThinK Wine Group, a multi-award-winning UK wine brand offering lower-calorie, lower-sugar sparkling wines. But these days, Kath’s biggest story is much bigger than wine, it’s about getting jilted, taking your power back, and realizing that sometimes the plot twist is actually the beginning.

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A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Seven Days Before The Wedding… He Said What?! 

Christa Innis: Hi, Kath. Thank you for being here.

Kath Jones: Hello. Hi, thank you for having me.

Christa Innis: I’m so excited to chat with you. Your sto- I kind of just wanna jump right in. Your story went viral- Yes … because, um, about a week before your wedding, you and your groom broke up, presumably, and you ended up having your wedding as a day to, like, celebrate and hang out with your friends and your family.

Um, anyway, which turned into, like, this amazing viral moment that I feel like has inspired so many people. Mm-hmm. So jumping right in, can you talk a little bit more about what happened and, um, just sharing your, your part of the story?

Kath Jones: Yeah, of course. So I had been with my ex-partner for six and a half years.

We got engaged after five years. So we began planning the wedding af- relatively quickly after the engagement. Um, and, you know, it was all exciting times, I suppose. We had a bit of a rocky patch in December last year, so December 2025, because I had hit burnout in terms of work. So I run three businesses.

Wow. And so I was just very, very burnt out, and I was working too much, and I was very stressed. But also, a lot of things happened in terms of, like, people had stolen money from me. I had a fraudulent investor try and come on board. And so there was just a lot of things that happened, uh, consecutively that really made me quite miserable, to be honest.

Mm-hmm.

And I think that during that period of me being that way- Um, it became rocky between us. Mm-hmm. And so we had a serious conversation in December last year, and I, I was just like, “I feel like I’m not supported, and I feel like, you know, we’re not, you know, the way we once were, like very in love, very looking out for one another, and I feel like I’m alone basically.”

Mm-hmm.

And he basically agreed and said, like, “You know, I do feel the same. I feel like we’ve lost our connection a little bit. Um, however, obviously we’re getting married in seven months, so let’s get this back on track. Let’s spend more time together. Let’s completely just … You know, let’s work on ourselves and each other and put effort into, you know, coming back together.”

And so that’s what we did. We literally, we went on so many vacations. We went to, um, we went to Spain. We went to Italy. We went wine tasting. We obviously went venue, looking at venues. Um, and we really spent more time together and put a lot more effort in with one another.

Mm-hmm.

And so in my opinion, and genuinely he’d never said another thing about it and neither had I- Everything was back on track and fine.

So obviously to hear seven days before the wedding day that actually he didn’t feel the same as I did.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Kath Jones: And he felt like … He basically said that he just felt like since that conversation in December, things hadn’t improved much, while as I felt like it had improved massively. He didn’t feel that way.

And o- obviously my question was, “Why did you never think to raise this before seven days before our wedding?”

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Kath Jones: Yeah. So basically what happened was I was com- not … Like, we were completely fine. He went on his stag do or bachelor, whatever you wanna call that. Mm-hmm. Um, and that was in early July, and we were getting married on the 31st of July.

And when he came back from that, he was just a little bit cold towards me. Mm-hmm. And I just put it down to nerves. I just thought, you know, oh, you know, you, you obviously … ‘Cause he’s quite shy really, and, um, I thought he doesn’t wanna be center of attention. Like, it i- it is kind of a big deal. It’s approaching thick and fast.

And also he’s drunk a lot, so he’s probably a bit, you know, anxious you’ve drunk too much, et cetera.

Mm-hmm.

So I just put it down to that. Um, but he was definitely a bit cold to me. Then I went on a r- a retreat, and the retreat was to try and lose a bit of weight and also just to get a bit more zen in my own head before the wedding.

Yeah.

When I came back from the retreat, he just, like, very coldly took my luggage from me and was like, “I’m going to bed. I’m tired.” And I was like, “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” And he was like, “I’m just tired.” And there was no, like, greeting. How are you? How was it? Missed you, et cetera. So I could sense obviously something was wrong, but he wouldn’t tell me, and I asked.

And then the next day he was up and out for work really early. He didn’t get home from work until very late.

Mm.

And so when he came home, I asked him outright, I said, “Tell me now, what, what’s going on? What’s wrong?” Yeah, he, he just said, “I, I just don’t think we should get married.” And I was like, “What do you mean? We’re getting married in seven days. You’re surely not saying this.” And he was like, “Yeah, I just

I feel like, you know, since December we haven’t been completely happy. There’s still more to work on. Um, and I, I just don’t think we should get married.” And I was like, “Do you realize that 50 people have flights booked, have booked holidays from work? Have … Like, do you realize how much money we’ve spent on this wedding?

D- … Like, surely, surely you’re not being serious.” And then he, he just couldn’t even look at me. Like, as he was having this conversation, he was avoiding my eye contact. Every question I asked, he just dodged. He wasn’t answering. Obviously, I started asking the usual questions such as, “Are you having an affair?”

Mm. “Have you cheated on me? Like, uh, what, what has happened here?” And he was just like, “No, no, it’s not that. It’s not that.” So he’s den- denied that and he still does deny that. I don’t know for sure, but I do know that after that stag do he was definitely cold. So whether it’s a case of- he’s done something or, or wanted to do something and felt guilty and realized that marriage wasn’t right.

I’m not entirely sure because even to this day, I don’t really have any answers because he didn’t really ever provide answers. And it’s funny now because on social media, you know, uh, I’m, I’ve got my following now is like 96% women. Mm-hmm. So most of them are very nice. But you know, the odd man who comes on says, “What’s his side of the story?”

And I’m like, “Well, he, he hasn’t even told me his side of the story, so I don’t think he’s gonna tell you.”

Christa Innis: Right.

Kath Jones: I don’t think he’s interested in telling you, you know- Yeah … Tom from Timbuktu- Right … what his side of the story is if he’s not even gonna tell me what his- Right … side of the story is. So we don’t know what his side of the story is to even give, so yeah, you just get my side.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. That’s what we get. Yeah. And so, like, what was… I’m sure so many things were going through your mind in that moment, like, a- and especially when you think about, yeah, all the planning that went into it and, like, the money you’ve spent. So was your initial reaction like, “Oh my gosh, we have to cancel this wedding,” or like, “What are we gonna do?

What are our next steps?” Uh, like, what do you even do at that point?

Cancel The Wedding? Absolutely Not. 

Kath Jones: I, I don’t think there was ever a moment that I thought about canceling it. I think because I, obviously I’d put all this effort in, I knew exactly what was happening, and I knew exactly that every penny had been spent, and we were not gonna get anything back at this stage because, you know, it’s seven days before.

Every vendor’s been paid. The venue’s been paid. Th- the likelihood of us getting money back was next to nothing. Mm-hmm. So I don’t really think there was a, a moment in time where I even thought about canceling it. I thought, “We’ll go ahead with this without you.” Um, and that was a, a- an almost an immediate thought.

Um, obviously that is, that comes, by the way, after like the devastation, the rolling around crying. I genuinely considered begging him. Like, I did consider that. Mm-hmm. Because I thought, “I can probably persuade him if I, you know… Like, if we sit down, have a big conversation, like, like cry, whatever, I can probably persuade him.”

But throughout that evening, I just thought to myself, “I’m, I’m not, I’m not going to. I’m not gonna even beg. I’m not gonna ask. I’m not.” Because the fact is, I would be walking down that aisle on what should be the happiest day of my life feeling like a fraud. Mm-hmm. And that’s just not me. It’s not me to, to do that.

Mm-hmm. I am… I could, I couldn’t have hold, held it in. I would have told someone or something and, you know, it would have, it only would have led to divorce anyway. So by the time I’d tossed and turned in bed all night, I was very kind of set that, like, this wedding isn’t happening, end of. Mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Kath Jones: So by the time the morning came around, um, I, I’d made the decision anyway that, like, that, that was it.

And he actually said to me, ’cause he was going to work away, he works away quite often, and he said to me, um, “Oh, I’m, you know, I’m going to work away. D- let’s not make any decisions until I’m back.” So he was going for three days, so I thought, “What? You want me to sit here with this information on my own doing nothing with it until you return and you decide what you want to do?”

And I thought, “Absolutely not, no.” So I said, “No way.” I said, “I’ll be telling my mom right now.” And anyway, that’s what I did. And it’s one of those things, like no matter what your age is, like the minute you tell your mom it’s kind of like that, that’s it, isn’t it? You just- She’s already messed

Christa Innis: up. Yeah …

Kath Jones: yeah, yeah.

That’s, that’s it. You can’t, you can’t come back from that, can you, once you’ve told your mom?

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Kath Jones: So anyway, I phoned my mom and I told her, and she came round, and she came round with my sister. And obviously I was just crying and just explaining what had happened, and they were just shocked, like so, so, so shell-shocked.

We all were. Everyone was just, like, completely- taken aback. Um, and so I, once I told them, I said, like, “We’re still going ahead with the wedding. Like, it’s just gonna not be a wedding, but it’s gonna be a party,” I said, “because everyone can’t lose the money on the flights. They can’t lose the time that they’ve booked off.

Like, and I also, we’re not getting any money back anyway, so we’re doing it.” And they were just like, “Okay, if you’re sure, then absolutely.” And so really while I was kind of sat there on a couch crying, they were the ones who actually picked up the phone and phoned everyone and explained everything and made all the changes that were necessary.

Um, and they were the ones who handled that while I was obviously very distraught, and I just spent the week pulling myself together really, and just being like, “Let’s cry out all the tears that we can now. Ready to just get out…” I just knew as well, once I was out the country, I was gonna feel better-

Mm-hmm

to be, like, removed from him. Um, and so yeah, that, that’s what we did. We worked on what we were gonna do, and then we, uh, yeah, we just reset it from a wedding to a party.

Well… If We’re Going To Tuscany, We Might As Well Party. 

Christa Innis: I love that. So, um, what were the biggest, like, changes that, like, when they called and made some changes, or called, like, the venue, I presume, like, what kind of changes did they make to kind of make it more to, like, a, just a big party celebration?

Kath Jones: To be honest, there was not many changes made apart from, like, the ceremony itself. Obviously, we no longer needed to have a ceremony, so we no longer needed the church. We no longer needed, um, anyone to host the ceremony. But most other things, ’cause it was, like, a welcome dinner, that remained the same. It was just a case of changing the playlist.

So instead of, like, romantic love songs, we had party vibe songs. But the f- you know, the, the plans for that night remained exactly the same. Even the next day for the wedding day, you know, we all got ready as a family, like me and my sisters, my auntie, my mom, we all got ready. We still got our makeup done, our hair done.

We still got pictures. Everything kind of remained as normal. The only difference was I didn’t wear my wedding dress, even though people thought that the dress I had on was my wedding dress. Yeah. That was actually gonna… It was either, I would either change into that in the night if I was too hot, or I was gonna wear it the next day.

But it wasn’t my wedding dress. But I was like, “I’m not gonna let all these nice outfits go to waste because of you. Like, I’m already not wearing my wedding dress. That’s bad enough.” Mm-hmm. So the rest of the white outfits that I have, you know, I’m still wearing them. So yeah, everything to be honest, everything was as it should’ve been minus the ceremony.

That was it.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I love that. And what were, like, if you wanna share, what were, like, the reactions of people, like, that they call, like- And did most everyone that was going to come still come to the, to the ceremony or to the party?

Kath Jones: Yeah. So everyone… The, the, the people that were uninvited was his side.

Mm-hmm. So his family and his friends. So there was originally gonna be 50 people, but there ended up being 30 people, um, because n- again, th- there was really nothing against them. It was just a case of why would I want to be reminded of him by having them there. Yeah. So it, it… They, they were not invited, while as my side, my friends, my family, basically everyone still came.

I think there was maybe one or two people who didn’t come anymore, um, and that was for other reasons because they had other stuff going on. But generally, like everyone was like, “Yeah, we’re still coming.” Everyone was shocked, of course. Everyone was shocked. And I think it was a case of they really didn’t know how to handle me, but my sister and my mom had spoken to them and said, “Look, if you can just not talk about, like, him, and you could just not talk about the situation, and you could just do whatever you can to speak about other stuff and make her laugh and talk about memories, or just do what you’re doing, but just try your best to avoid that topic.”

And everyone did a great job of doing that. And the topic was, you know, it was barely touched upon, to be honest with you. I love it. And that was, that, that’s very much down to my friends and family.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And, like, looking at the videos, the vibes looked immaculate. It looked like it was just- Yeah … like such a good time, and that, like- Yeah

you had, like, were surrounded by so many people that just, like, supported you and just wanted to celebrate- Yeah … and hang out. Yeah. Have a good, like, vacation, like, party.

Kath Jones: Yeah. It, it was, it was that. And I think, you know, everyone really put the best foot forward probably because of the situation. But everyone was, was so up for, so up for fun, so up for a party and it, and it was just…

It was a, a great night.

Christa Innis: That’s amazing. And it was in Italy, correct?

Kath Jones: Yeah. Tuscany.

Christa Innis: Tuscany. And had you been there before? That was your first time, or?

Kath Jones: Yeah. No, I’ve been a few times, ’cause from, from England, Italy is only two hours away. So I’ve, I’ve been to Italy many, many, many times. Um, but Tuscany I’ve been a few times.

And particularly when we were looking at wedding venues, we did, like, a huge tour of Tuscany, going around visiting different places in the car. So yeah, I know it, and I, I love it very much.

Christa Innis: Oh, that’s awesome. So, so for like, the day itself, like, were you… I know you, like, you had very m- like, many moments that, like, ended up going viral just ’cause it was, like, such a, like- a shocking moment to a lot of people.

Yeah. So what was, like, one moment that, like, you’re able to just, like, core memory or just, like, remember, like, that was, like, you felt, like, empowered in the day?

The Heartbreak Was Real… But So Was The Laughing. 

Kath Jones: I think probably actually creating the content because- I, I know. I mean, I knew it anyway, but I know now more than ever, having spoken to all these thousands of women literally across the whole wide world, that this is more common than we think.

Mm-hmm.

Like, but it’s just not spoken about because people feel embarrassed- Yeah … and people feel shame. And whether it’s being jilted, whether it’s being left, whether it’s just being cheated on the day after your wedding or finding out at the wedding that someone’s having an affair or… The, the amount of crazy stories that I’ve been told now, it, it’s very clear that women stay silent and they carry their shame, you know, to, to the death, basically.

Mm-hmm. Whereas for me, as I was creating this content, I was laughing at myself. Like, I was able to go, “Wow, this situation only happens in movies, but somehow it, it’s happened to me.”

Mm-hmm.

And so to be able to be with my friends, coming up with ideas like, “What if we do it to this song?” Or, “What if we say that…”

“Oh, what, what about that scene from The Kardashians? What if we recreate that?” Talking about that and laughing about it and just being able to laugh at myself was actually very liberating and it felt like emp- empowered. And so I wasn’t upset. Like, when I was creating the content, I wasn’t upset at all during that period.

We really, really had a laugh. It’s the other times, it’s like the times when everyone goes home and you’re left on your own. Like, these are the times where you f- you feel the sadness and the upset. But during those moments, it was genuine laughter, to be quite honest. I

Christa Innis: love that. And it probably helped so many people, too, ’cause like you said, it’s a situation where I feel like a lot of people are left feeling like, not ashamed, but like, yeah, like embarrassed or like, “Oh, I’m not gonna talk about it.

Okay, let’s just quietly cancel it and have to call everybody.” But you kind of took the power back and you were like, “Heck no, I’m not gonna cancel it. It’s gonna be an awesome day and I’m surrounded by all my favorite people, you know, that I know.” And, and that was like so cool to see, is like you were like, “No, I’m not letting it go to waste.

Like, this is my life, too. I’m gonna enjoy it.”

Kath Jones: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I, I just, you know, w- why, why ruin it for everyone else as well when I know that I have the power to let everyone still come and have a great time knowing what we’re in for? So yeah, for, uh, the, the- there was never a moment I was gonna cancel.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, and so what’s kind of like the… I know you said like your following has grown, like you’ve got like 96%- Women that, um, which I, I’m not surprised to hear, ’cause I feel like women are just like, “Yes, let’s empower each other.” Power to the women. Yes. This is awesome. So what has, like, been, like, most of, like, the comments and the things that you’re hearing?

Are people sending you their own stories of, like, “Oh, thanks for sharing this, ’cause this happened to me,” or, “I know someone that this has happened to”?

Kath Jones: Yeah, thousands. Thousands, thousands, thousands. Like, and I think that is what has helped me through this the most out of anything, because it’s people saying, like, “Oh my God, I got broken up with three months ago, and I still haven’t got out of the bed.”

Mm. “

And I’ve seen that you were able to go and do that one week after, and it’s empowered me to get back up again, and it’s inspired me to go, well, no, I’m not gonna sit here being a, a victim. I am gonna get up and go.” So receiving messages like that, you, you, you see, like, oh my God, this was all worthwhile.

Even if it, even if it just helped one person, but clearly from the messages, it’s thousands. And then it’s people just telling their stories. You know, obviously they’ve never spoken about it publicly, and then they’re, they’re coming to me and saying, “This happened to me.” And some of the stories are, like, really shocking.

Mm. Shocking stories. And I’m like, “Oh my God.” And they’ve kept it to themselves. They’ve told no one.

Mm-hmm.

I think if it can just empower people to, like, “We- we’re not to blame here. Like, why, why sh- why should we be ashamed? Why should we curl up in a corner because of something a man’s done to us?”

Mm-hmm.

When we could actually just put one foot in front of the other and keep going.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Kath Jones: I, I, I would, I’d love to keep on doing that, and that’s what I hope to achieve moving forward.

Don’t Lose Your Girlfriends For A Man. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah, ’cause I feel like when it does happen in, like, you know, movies or TV shows or when we hear stories, it’s like the man, like, will, like, expects, expects her to, like, you know, hide away, or ca- you know, like, you know- Yeah

to be, like, kind of just… They don’t wanna see them living their best life in that time. Yeah. And so that’s, like, the best to be like, “No, look at me, I’m not gonna let you, you know, affect me.” And I think it shows how important, like, having your village and having your support, you know, people around you to, like, lift you up in those times.

Kath Jones: Absolutely. If it tells you about anything, you know,  don’t lose your friends when you get in a relationship, because so many people do that, you know? They get in a relationship and they forget about the friends, and they don’t make time for the friends, and they don’t make time for the family, and, like, they’re all in on this one person.

And I just think, like-

Christa Innis: Mm …

Kath Jones: that is really a, a huge downfall if, you know, if something like this is to come along.

Christa Innis: Yes.

Kath Jones: Um, and knock you for six. But luckily for me, even though I’ve been in a relationship for six and a half years, I’ve still kept very strong relationships with my friends and my family. So when something like this did happen, it was only one phone call for everyone to come together and really support me.

So it’s- Mm-hmm … it’s key, key to life. I believe in Sex and the City, you know. Girlfriends are your soulmates, and then-

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm …

Kath Jones: everyone else is just to have fun with.

Christa Innis: Yes. I love that. No, I 100% agree with that, ’cause my biggest pet peeve, especially when I was younger, is, like, a girl would get a boyfriend and sh- you wouldn’t see her, like, ever again.

Disappear. Yes. She’s gone. Uh, yeah. And then until, until they break up, then they’re like, “Oh, hey, let’s hang out.” Yeah. She’s back. And you’re like- … “Okay.” Yeah. Um, yeah. And I… That was just such a pet peeve of mine. And I, I know people… I feel like there’s, like, a name for it, where they just, they- have friends just to keep them busy until they find their person.

Yeah. And then those are the ones that once they get married you, like, never see them again. Yeah. And it’s just like it, and it’s just like, okay, they got their person. That’s it. And I, I totally agree with you, right? You need your, you need your girlfriends, you need your friends, you need other people other than your partner or your, your spouse or, you know, whoever, ’cause-

Kath Jones: Absolutely agree.

Christa Innis: Yeah, you can’t just… I don’t know. I, I feel like female friendships are so important to have at every stage- They do … of your life.

Kath Jones: So agree. Yeah. Completely agree. I wouldn’t have… There’s no way I would’ve been able to, you know, handle this in the way that I have without that. Mm-hmm. So- Yeah … it’s very important.

Christa Innis: Yes. I love that. Okay. We are going to do a little, um, re- it’s, it’s called, like, a red light, green light game-

Kath Jones: Okay. …

Christa Innis: to kinda, kinda shift gears. Okay. Um, I feel like that was some really good, really good advice to, like, end on. Okay. So, um, here we go. Let’s see. Um, just say red light… You could say yellow light if it’s, like, proceed with caution, or a red light is absolutely not.

Kath Jones: Okay.

Christa Innis: All right. Destination weddings.

Kath Jones: Green light.

Christa Innis: Um, big, big weddings.

Kath Jones: Oh. See, some people thought my wedding was going to be big. It was supposed to be 50 people. I thought that was small. Do you think that’s big or small?

Christa Innis: I think that’s very small.

Kath Jones: Yeah. I do as well. Yeah. I see a big wedding as, like, 250 people, and I think that’s, I think that’s a red light, um, because I think that’s, like, really unmanageable, and there’s so many people there that you probably don’t actually really love and see all the time.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Kath Jones: So I think red light to a, a big wedding. But then some people think 50 is a big wedding, so it’s all relative, I suppose.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I know everyone has, like, their own opinions about big and small. Like, 50, I feel like, uh, 50 is a lot of people for, like, a party, but I feel like for a wedding that’s considered more micro.

Kath Jones: I think so as well, yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: I know. Um, like, I remember even, like, growing up I was always like, “Oh, I’ll probably have, like, 200 people,” and then I think we ended up having, like, 130. Mm. And so, like, to me, like, that sounded, like, small-ish. Yeah. But I’ve been at weddings where there’s, like, 300 people and you’re just like- Yeah.

Kath Jones: Same … “

Christa Innis: My God.” Same.

Kath Jones: Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: They invite everybody they know and, like, you’re

Kath Jones: like- Yeah. I know. Oh, what about Taylor Swift’s wedding?

Christa Innis: Yeah. What was that, like, thousands?

Kath Jones: Thousands of people. Like, how on earth? I mean, she’s got the cash, so it’s okay. But yeah. Yes. So many people. For me, a, a big wedding like that would be a, a red light.

Christa Innis: Yes.

Kath Jones: Mm.

Christa Innis: Um, let’s see. Having a big bridal party.

Kath Jones: I mean, again, red for me. But this is all very personal, I think. Um- Yeah … for me. I, I was only having my two sisters, so it was just… And I didn’t have a maid of honor. I just had my two sisters as bridesmaids equal. Yeah. So if I was ever to get married again, which probably not, to be honest, but if I was, I don’t…

I’d still stick to just having them two.

Christa Innis: Yeah. So you mean, like, after… Is it because of, like, all of this, you’re just like, “I just don’t wanna do it again”? Or, like- Um,

Kath Jones: yeah. I mean, going through the whole planning process and all of that, I’m just like, “Oh, God. I’m tired. I wouldn’t want to do that again.” But then also I think I’ve kind of lost…

I, I kind of think, “Well, what, what’s the point in a wedding anyway?” Like, it’s just a piece of paper, and, like, the likelihood is if you wanna go by statistics, we’re probably gonna end up divorced. I know. I know that’s not, like, a positive mental attitude, but statistics do say-

Yeah …

that we are likely to end up divorced.

So do I really need… I, I would never say never, because, you know, if someone comes along and they’re rich enough to buy me the best wedding on Earth, maybe I’m gonna say yeah. But aside from that, I probably wouldn’t bother.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Well, and I feel like, too, now, it’s like you have this, like, really awesome, like, celebration, and it’s like, what could, like, top that?

Just-

Kath Jones: Yeah.

Christa Innis: It looked so fun, and it’s, like- … um, drama-free. You know, you’re living your best life. And, um, weddings come with a lot of drama and- They do … especially with, like… especially with the wrong person or the wrong family you’re marrying into. It’s just, like, the s- again, the stories I get, too, and I’m just like- I don’t think I would do it again after like- Yeah

I know, I… There’s so many people, so many, like, people I talk to where they’re like one, one big thing is, is enough, but I don’t know. Yeah. But there are people that, like, love that. I feel the same way. Yeah.

Kath Jones: Yeah. Yeah, maybe I’d just, like, elope just the two of us if I wanted to, but I don’t know. I just, I’m not sure I care much about a piece of paper-

Christa Innis: Yeah

Kath Jones: anymore.

Fourth Wedding. Fifth Wedding. Evil Stepmom Energy. 

Christa Innis: Yeah, no, I get that, for sure. Um, okay. That’s… Okay, let’s get into, I, the story we, I have is a little long, so I wanna get into that. So I have a wedding story that someone sent me. Yeah. So, um, we, I’ll react- I’ll read it, and then we can just react to it as, as we go. I haven’t read it yet, so we’re gonna see what we got here.

Okay. “This story is actually about my dad’s fourth wedding and his current wife’s fifth. And when I say wedding, I mean full-blown traditional wedding.” Okay, so we’re just talking about not having more than one. They’re on their fourth and fifth. Okay. Not shaming, to each their own, but- … that just sounds like a lot, a lot of planning.

Kath Jones: It is. “

Christa Innis: At the time, my dad was 53, and his bride was 49. From the beginning, she made it clear that she didn’t want my dad’s three daughters involved in the wedding at all. We weren’t bridesmaids, weren’t included in any planning, and she even personally reached out to tell us that we were not invited to the rehearsal dinner.”

God. My first thought is why would he allow that? Why would he not- Yeah … want-

Kath Jones: Yeah, I, I would say that surely he should be saying that that’s not an option.

Christa Innis: Yeah. That’s a red flag.

Kath Jones: Yeah. If

Christa Innis: I ever heard one.

Kath Jones: Yeah. “

Christa Innis: She said she’d see us tomorrow at the wedding instead.” The funny part … Oh, here we go. This is why I haven’t read it yet.

The funny part, my dad had no idea she had done that.

Kath Jones: Oh, okay.

Christa Innis: Right. My aunts, uncles, and cousins were all invited to the rehearsal dinner, just not his own. So the night before she just, like, calls and was like, “By the way, don’t come to the rehearsal. I’ll see you tomorrow at the wedding.”

Kath Jones: Oh my God. That’s

Christa Innis: weird.

Kath Jones: That’s crazy. Yeah.

Christa Innis: I feel like I wouldn’t take that call seriously.

Kath Jones: I’d be like, “Okay, see you there.” “I will be there anyway, regardless.” Yeah. So, like- Exactly … it makes me wonder what the, like, what had happened previous to this. Like, have they had arguments before? Mm-hmm. Have they had disagreements before?

Because is this just completely, like, is this a complete surprise to them? Or are they just like, “Oh, yeah, it’s, it’s Karen. Of course she’s gonna do this.” Yes.

Christa Innis: Good old Karen. We … Yeah. Yeah. She’s always got some issue with us. Yeah. Wild. On the wedding day, my sisters and I sat in the front row on my dad’s side with our children, and things only got stranger from there.

The ceremony was in California in June at 4:00 PM with guests including young children and elderly relatives sitting on hay bales in direct sunlight outside in a barn. Okay.

Kath Jones: Okay.

Christa Innis: The hay bales. Um, the groomsmen, who are all my uncles, were dressed in long-sleeve white T-shirts with black wool vests in the summer heat.

And I just have to pause for a second ’cause I’m thinking, like, they are going all out for all these weddings. Can you imagine being a brother or a sister or whoever in five different weddings?

Kath Jones: Yeah.

Christa Innis: You’re like, “Can you just not have a wedding party this time, please?” Like- … being in five weddings for the same person, I’d be like, “No, I, I’m, I’m good.

Thank you.”

Kath Jones: Yeah. Done. Yeah. Yeah, it’d be ha- it’d be very hard to take that seriously for a fifth time, wouldn’t it?

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Kath Jones: You’d be like, “Oh, surely not.” Like, “Please stop.” But also how much money do these people have to just have continuous weddings?

Christa Innis: Yes, that’s what I thought. I’m like, that’s a lot of money to be putting in for the bride and groom, all their, their wedding party, their guests.

Um, like, I could understand if, like, maybe, like, their first wedding they didn’t go all out, so like, okay, the second wedding we’re gonna have a big wedding. But by the fourth, like…

Kath Jones: Yeah. You surely better.

Christa Innis: Yes. Mm. Oh my gosh. Okay. Funny. Then my dad made his grand entrance by riding down the aisle on a horseback- Mm

to an old Western theme song. I can, like, picture it. But-

Kath Jones: I feel like this should’ve been in Texas, not California

Christa Innis: I know. They sound very country.

Kath Jones: Yeah.

Christa Innis: My 94-year-old great-grandmother thought it was absolutely hilarious. The bride arrived in a horse-drawn carriage. Unfortunately, the fairy tale entrance lost a little bit of its magic because the carriage driver was dressed in full Western attire while the assistant walking beside him was wearing a pink tank top, shorts, and flip-flops.

Oh. His own par- sorry, what?

Kath Jones: I just said, “Oh.”

Christa Innis: Yeah. His own parents refused to attend because they didn’t want to celebrate a fifth wedding Okay, so the parents didn’t wanna come.

Kath Jones: Mm-hmm. “

Christa Innis: She also wouldn’t allow her adult son to come because he had a cold a few days earlier. He even offered to stand in the very back during the ceremony and leave immediately afterward, but she refused.

From what I heard, she wasn’t very kind about it either.” Yeah, I’m not surprised.

Kath Jones: Yeah.

Christa Innis: She doesn’t sound very- She sounds

Kath Jones: like a witch.

Christa Innis: It’s, like, literally like a story of, like, the step- evil stepmother because she’s like- Yeah, the evil stepmother … “Don’t come to the wedding,” and- … I just picture and… Oh, my gosh.

“After the ceremony, we took photos.” While we were waiting, my husband realized our 18-month-old’s nephew was overheating in the California sun. Mm-hmm. So he took him outside- he took him inside the barn to cool off. While we were gone, the bride gathered everyone back together and took a family photo without my sisters or me.

Why? Just why? Yes. God. Also, like, a June wedding in California sounds like… And outside in a barn sounds like terrible planning.

Kath Jones: Yeah. I, I would agree. I would agree. Yeah, I mean, this lady sounds crazy, to be honest.

Christa Innis: Yeah. While, um, that ended up being the only family photo she ever shared or posted. At the time, we were shocked because we never really had any issues with her before the wedding.

Kath Jones: There we go. They’ve answered- Yeah … my question.

Christa Innis: Yeah. That’s so weird to just all of a sudden be like, “Yeah, I don’t want them being a part of the wedding,” which is, like, the start of a new, you know, chapter, and she’s just like, “Yeah, no.”

Kath Jones: It is. It’s like y- it’s like the evil step-mom story, you know, when at first it’s like, “Oh, I love you so much.

I love you.” And then once you’re married it’s like, “Okay, get to boarding school.”

Christa Innis: Yes. Let’s ship them off. Like, I don’t care anymore. Yeah. It doesn’t say how old, like, the ki- the kids are, but I mean, it says they had kids of their own, so I would guess, like, late 20s or 30s maybe. Yeah. So, like, they’re adults that, like, presumably live on their own, so it’s like, what…

It’s not like she has to take care of them and, like- Yeah. … feed them. Like, they live on their own. Like, wouldn’t she want them involved? No way. Yeah. Yeah. Unless you, unless she feels, like, jealous of them or has some kind of, like, hatred- Or- … something.

Kath Jones: Yeah. Maybe she’s just, like, a jea- a jealous person and, and that’s it.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Kath Jones: I mean, she doesn’t sound like someone I would like to be friends with.

Christa Innis: Yeah, no. I’m getting all the bad vibes about her. Looking back now, it feels like the beginning of a much bigger pattern. Over the years she slowly isolated my dad from all his children and grandchildren. Meanwhile, two of her three adult children and one grandchild moved in with them and have been fully financially supported by my dad ever since.

Kath Jones: No way.

Christa Innis: That makes me think a lot of things. Mm-hmm. If he’s, like, very well off and she, like, somehow knew it, she was like, “How can I make sure we are, like…” I don’t know, maybe I’ve read too many, like, or seen too many- Mm … drama things- … but I’m like, she’s like, “How can I make sure we get the money?” Yeah. Or get something if something happens.

Kath Jones: Yeah. ‘

Christa Innis: Cause to cut off his family-

Kath Jones: Yeah. They need to be checking on his will immediately.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah, ’cause she’s someone that would go in there and change it. Yeah,

Kath Jones: she’ll change it. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yes.

Kath Jones: Oh. Oh

Christa Innis: my gosh. Wow. But that’s also on the dad too. How is she gonna allow him to isolate from his own kids and grandkids?

Like-

Kath Jones: Well, exactly, ’cause he can just say, “Well, no. Sorry, I’m a grown man.”

Christa Innis: Yeah. “

Kath Jones: I need to see my own kids and my own grandkids. I’m, I, I’m not interested in just seeing your kids the whole time.” So yeah, it is on the dad, but, you know- Oh … what, what a surprise, men not standing up. Mm.

Christa Innis: He’s like, “Hmm, he’s easily manipulated.

I got this.” Yeah. “There were pr- plenty of other memorable moments from the day too. The guest list was almost entirely my dad’s friends and family because, as we later learned, she wasn’t particularly close with her own relatives or former friends.” Mm. “The only people there on her side were one of her adult daughters and a few of that daughter’s friends.”

Mm. “A man named Cookie handled all the cooking, but they didn’t make enough food for the guests.” Then out of nowhere, 10 Mormon missionaries showed up uninvited and each grabbed multiple plates of food, leaving even less for everyone. Who are these Mormon missionaries that just- Who were they?

They just randomly came. Who- Like, did someone invite them?

Kath Jones: Yeah. Were they invited or did they… Were they just on the doorstep?

Christa Innis: They’re just, like, on the ba- like, at the barn. Like, they’re like, “Oh, look, there’s a wedding. Let’s go help ourselves.” I

Kath Jones: don’t- No, that is, that is funny. I would laugh at that. If I saw that happen, I would just laugh.

Christa Innis: Yeah, like, what i- what else is gonna walk into this wedding?

Kath Jones: Yeah. Like, what, what do you mean?

Christa Innis: Instead of having a family member walk her down the aisle, she asked one of my dad’s friends, a man she only had known for a couple of months, to give her away. Mm. Weird.

Kath Jones: Weird. Weird, weird. That’s

Christa Innis: very weird. I went to a wedding once where the bride asked her guy best friend, or guy friend, to walk her down the aisle when her dad was alive and well and at the wedding.

Oh my God. It was very odd.

Kath Jones: Awkward and uncomfortable.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Mm. But then she had a wedding y- like, she got married… She had divorced and married to someone else later, and her dad walked her down for that aisle. So I was like, maybe the dad didn’t support it, but hi- I don’t know. Yeah. It was very… It was very interesting.

Kath Jones: Yeah. Or she might have thought h- her friend was bad luck, since she got divorced. Yeah. She was like, “I’m not ha- I’m not having you again.”

Christa Innis: Yeah. You’re out this

Kath Jones: time.

Christa Innis: Um, as the reception went on, several guests became so intoxicated that they were literally falling all over while dancing. The bride spent the entire evening being overly affectionate with our extended family, hugging everyone and chatting them up.

Trying to butter them up for that will, I guess.

Kath Jones: Yeah. Oh.

Christa Innis: But any time my sisters or I approached to talk to our dad, she would quietly walk away with him Again, we hadn’t had any problems before the wedding, so it felt very intentional. Fast-forward three years, here we go. They’re now on the verge of divorce.

My dad is raising her grandchild and financially supporting her adult children while she has essentially cut him off from his own kids and grandkids. Two of my dad’s three children have completely gone no contact because he refuses to stand up to his wife and continually allows her to blame all of their marital problems on us, even though they’re cut out.

Kath Jones: Yeah. I

Christa Innis: thought that was weird. How,

Kath Jones: how…

Christa Innis: Looking back, it really feels like the wedding was the first sign of everything that was to come. Gosh, that-

Kath Jones: Mania

Christa Innis: I mean, I hate to say it, but if you’re going on weddings four and five, it’s not- Maybe looking good. I don’t want people- Yeah … to be mad at that. But I’m like, there’s, there’s something not working, right?

Like-

Kath Jones: Yeah …

Christa Innis: there’s something not working. And I feel like at that point, too, maybe you’re not taking it as, like, like who knows how long they were together before they got married. Like, I feel like- Mm … the, like, older you get, you kinda hear, like, they don’t, you know, wait as long ’cause they’re like, “Oh, we’re, we don’t have as much time.”

Yeah. “We’re older.” Um-

Kath Jones: Yeah, yeah,

Christa Innis: yeah … so gosh, that’s wild. And now he’s, like, financially supporting her kids and grandkids.

Kath Jones: Yeah, instead of his own.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Kath Jones: So more fool him is what I say.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I wonder if in the divorce she’ll get, like, money from him, too. Like, or his, her family.

Kath Jones: I, I would like to know about his finances.

I wish she would’ve included, like, “PS, my dad is a billionaire.” Yeah.

Christa Innis: I know. I’m picturing, um, Parent Trap, like the dad-

Kath Jones: Yeah, same … Meredith, like- That’s also what I’ve been picturing. Same. That is exactly the same as what I’ve been thinking. That’s so funny. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. She- Like, if she were just a little bit younger, I’d be like, oh my gosh, it’s H- Yeah it’s, um, I don’t remember what his name is. I know it’s Meredith Blake. I don’t remember his name. Is it?

Kath Jones: I don’t know what his name is, no.

Christa Innis: But yeah, that’s who I was picturing. I was like, oh my gosh, he owns a vineyard somewhere and makes all this money, and…

Kath Jones: Were, were you picturing the original or the o- the, uh, Lindsay Lohan one?

Christa Innis: Just now I was picturing the Lindsay Lohan one, but I do love the original, too.

Kath Jones: I, I had the original in my head.

Christa Innis: Did you?

Kath Jones: Yeah. Love

Christa Innis: that. I love that. Wasn’t it the same… Maybe I’m making some of that stuff up. ‘Cause I know Lindsay Lohan was in Freaky Friday, and, um, Parent Trap. Wasn’t the same actress in the original Freaky Friday and Parent Trap?

Kath Jones: Oh, I don’t know. I don’t know that.

Christa Innis: I wonder what it, what’s her name? Um, I might be making it up. I think maybe I was just, like, as a kid, like, surprised that there was, like, an original for both. I was like, what?

Kath Jones: I love, yeah, love that. Love that movie, but it’s exactly what I was picturing as well.

Christa Innis: Especially when she’s like, “Ship them off to Switzerland.”

Kath Jones: Yeah. Get rid.

Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s me or them. Take your-

Kath Jones: Yeah.

Christa Innis: But obviously this guy doesn’t pick that. O- oh yeah, it was Hayley Mills was- So

Kath Jones: she was, she was in both?

Christa Innis: Let me see.

Freaky Friday. Okay.

Totally made that up. Wait. Are we foster? I saw it as a kid, so I do not remember that. But, yeah. Mm-hmm. Interesting. Yeah. Mm-hmm That’s literally what I’m picturing is, like, just, like, the evil stepmother coming in, like, wants his money- Yeah … and, and maybe she was just like, “You know what, guys, we’re low on some funds.”

Yeah. “I’m gonna get you guys a stepdad to take care of us.” Yeah,

Kath Jones: yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. It all adds up- Mm … to not very good.

Kath Jones: Yeah. They should have maybe done something like they did in Parent Trap where they terrorized her and, y- you know, put all, like, the animals in her shoes and stuff like that, and drowned her in the lake.

Like, maybe they could have done something like that. Drowned her in the lake,

Christa Innis: yes. Um- I know. Well, it’s like you always say, like, when people tell a story from their perspective, they, you know, they make themselves sound a little bit better, right? Yeah. And so I’m like, she has, she says, like, there were certain things that, like, you know, the wife blames them for the marital problems.

I’m like, oh, maybe there is something that, like, happened. May-

Kath Jones: maybe you did something. Maybe y- you’re not telling us everything. Yeah. Right? Can we get, can we get the step- the evil stepmom on? ‘Cause I want two sides to the story. I wanna

Christa Innis: hear her. But I’m also like, she probably deserved it ’cause- Yeah … she just sounds like a not great person.

Kath Jones: Yeah.

Christa Innis: The whole thing about not allowing them at the rehearsal dinner is very odd, and just to call them.

Kath Jones: Yeah.

Christa Innis: But- Yeah … like me, if, like, my dad was getting remarried or something and, and like the night before his wife was like, “Oh, you can’t come,” I would, I would do some calls to double-check. Like, “What’s going on here?”

Yeah, yeah. I don’t think I would just not go. Yeah,

Kath Jones: no. No, same. I would as a- Yeah … I would phone him straight away and be like, “Why has she just said this?”

Christa Innis: Yeah,

Kath Jones: surely. “Surely this is not true, and surely you should not marry him now.”

Christa Innis: Yeah. “

Kath Jones: Not marry her now.”

Christa Innis: So, like, not have any issues until the actual wedding.

Kath Jones: Yeah.

Boundaries, Bachelorette Drama & The Kid-Free Wedding Debate 

Christa Innis: Very odd. Weird. Very odd. Okay. Well, that was a weird one. Um- Mm-hmm … very, very crazy, these stories. Mm-hmm. But yeah. All right. I always like to end these episodes with confessions. So someone sent me… Or, so we asked in my Instagram story, what’s, be honest, what’s something a family member expected from you that felt unfair?

And this is, like, usually for, like, weddings or events. Um, this says, “Future sister-in-law, we were marrying brothers, expected to be a bridesmaid. She got engaged first and didn’t ask me to be a part of hers, but was mad.” So she was mad- Oh, so she didn’t ask her to be a bridesmaid, but then when she, the other sister didn’t ask her, she was mad to not be a bridesmaid She got mad about it.

Kath Jones: Yeah. I’ve heard many stories like that before.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Kath Jones: I think that’s, that’s pretty common, I would say. Yeah. Like some, you know, people just don’t ask the other one, and then they don’t ask them as payback, and then there’s some kind of drama. Yeah. I mean, I, I personally wouldn’t care. I’d be like, “Thank you very much for not making me a bridesmaid.”

Christa Innis: know. It’s so much work. I know. It’s, it’s interesting. It’s like some people love it, some hate it. Yeah. I, I’ve been a bridesmaid so many times that, like, I feel like I’ve done my due dil- due diligence. Mm-hmm. I feel like I’m kind of, like, done with that era of being a bridesmaid. But, um, yeah, it’s… And I loved it when, when the time was there, but now I’m just kinda like, “It’s a lot of work.”

It’s like a full-time job. Yeah. It really is sometimes. Yeah. If you’re like a- I can see … if you’re like a hands-on person, I feel like it’s a full-time job.

Kath Jones: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, not for me. I’m not, I’m not the o- organizing type, really.

Christa Innis: Yeah. This says, um, “Rented a house for the bachelorette and expected each of us to drop a grand for it.”

Ooh. That’s a lot.

Kath Jones: That’s a lot. I, I, I think that’s too much to expect from people.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like, I’ve spent… There were two bachelorette parties I went on where I’ve spent over $1,000, but it was best friends of mine, two, three d- three years apart, and it was a week long, and not… That was, like, total what I spent, including, like- Okay

hotel, flight- Yeah … food. Yeah. For a house alone is- Mm-hmm … crazy.

Kath Jones: Crazy. Yeah. I, I, I agree with that. And I would… I- you know, if it’s a very close friend. Like, I went to Vegas for my best friend’s, so that was, like, a huge expense. But also I just saw it as like, “Okay, I’m going to Vegas for a week, so whatever.”

Girls trip. I didn’t just see it as just her hen. Um, but yeah. Uh, I, I think if you want to do it, you will. But if that was someone I wasn’t close to and they wanted me to go and spend thousands of pounds going to Vegas, I’d say no.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Exactly. Like, people get so bent out of shape about, like, bachelorette parties when I’ve, like, made skits or when I share stories and stuff.

And I’m like, “No one is making you.” Like, if you’re not close enough to them that you wanna go to their bachelorette, just say no.

Kath Jones: Yeah.

Christa Innis: People aren’t selfish for having one or not having one. That’s just what they wanna do. Um- And you

Kath Jones: can just say no.

Christa Innis: A- yeah, exactly. You can just say no. Like, for- Mm-hmm … but yeah.

Like, for me, like, ’cause I’ve said no to bachelorette parties, but, like, for me, if, like, for close friends that I was, like, in their wedding, and, like, all the people invited were other close friends, it was like a girls’ trip, so it was so much fun. Yeah. Like, why wouldn’t I go?

Kath Jones: It, it’s worth it, yeah. It’s worth it.

Yeah. It’s worth the money

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Kath Jones: Have you seen that girl who posts, um… It’s like, you know, when they post, like, they’ve made the texts into a song. Um- Yes,

Christa Innis: I have …

Kath Jones: she, she posts about, like, the bachelorette trip from hell.

Christa Innis: No.

Kath Jones: Oh, it’s, it’s actually it’s, it’s really funny. Um, I don’t know if it’s real or not, you know, when you’re thinking is this AI?

But it’s just, like, a big story about, like, how this, this one maid of honor was just a nightmare, and she was just kept saying to the girls, like, “Give me more money. You have to do this. You have to do that.” You know, “You’re the worst.” Uh, like, making everyone s- spend thousands of dollars on everything. And it’s just a really good story, so I keep going back to see the update.

Yeah. Because apparently now this, um, bri- like, bri- the maid of honor from hell, she’s now messaging her saying, “Why are you making songs out of this?” And so then she’s making songs out of these messages as well. So whether it’s real or not is different, but it is- Yeah … really funny to listen to. So

Christa Innis: things for more content.

I mean, even- Yeah … if it’s not real, I have heard stories, like, on Reddit and some that people have sent to me, um, about, like, crazy similar stories. One was, um, the bride kept asking the wedding party for money, saying it was for, like, the bachelorette party, and she was, like, pocketing it and, like, using it for other stuff.

Kath Jones: Stop it. Please, I can’t. ‘

Christa Innis: Cause then when it came time for the bachelorette party, she had, like… It was not what she said it was gonna be. Like, they were like, “Oh, it’s gonna go towards a house,” and it was, like, not like that. Um- No.

Kath Jones: That, that is horrendous.

Christa Innis: Yes. Or it’s like the, it comes out that, like, actually a different, like, family member paid for the bachelorette.

So they’re like, “Well, where did our money go?” Where

Kath Jones: did our money go? Oh.

Christa Innis: It is wild the stories.

Kath Jones: That is so funny.

Christa Innis: Oh my God. All right. Let me read a couple more of these. Um, it said, “I was expected to wear my grandma’s ring, wedding ring, even though she never put effort into me as a child.” Okay. Interesting.

“Mother-in-law expected to be the main grandparent because my parents already had other grandchildren.”

Kath Jones: Okay. “

Christa Innis: My sister wanted ki- her kids at my kid-free wedding after telling me, uh- After telling me they stop at grocery stores to let them run around when they’re on road trips. I don’t know what that has to do with it, but- Yeah.

Kath Jones: Same. It’s not relevant.

Christa Innis: Okay. Um-

Kath Jones: Yeah … ‘

Christa Innis: cause I was like, I feel like that’s normal to… I mean, not, like, run around grocery stores and knock stuff off the shelves, but, but like learn energy. No,

Kath Jones: that’s what kids do.

Christa Innis: They run

Kath Jones: around. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. But the whole, like, if someone’s having a kid-free wedding, don’t ask to bring your kids.

Yeah. Like- ‘Cause

Kath Jones: it’s, it’s kid-free.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Kath Jones: Yeah. Like,

Christa Innis: let’s

Kath Jones: respect- And they’ve, they’ve been direct with that.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Kath Jones: And so what’s the problem? Yeah, like, for me, I definitely was having a ki- I say kid-free. I meant baby-free because I did have one kid there, but she was 10.

Mm.

And so she’s, you know, very okay. Yeah. But I did not want a two-year-old, a three-year-old, a baby in arms. I did not want that there.

Right. So I, I made that clear, and everyone… To be honest, most people are quite happy with that, aren’t they? They’re like, “Great news. I can offload my child.”

Christa Innis: Yes. See, and that’s the thing that people don’t, like, I shouldn’t say don’t understand, but, like, when I’ve posted about kid-free weddings too, you always get someone in the comments that’s like, “Oh, that’s so rude.

It’s supposed to be a family event.” And I’m like, when I got married, my friends were like, “Yes, a night off.” Like- Yes … babysitter’s gonna watch the baby, like- Yeah … watch the kid. Like, and I always say, like, I have a toddler, and I’m like, I would never be offended if someone invited me to a wedding and didn’t invite her.

Yeah. In fact, even if they did invite her, I’d probably be like, “We’ll probably have a sitter.” Why?

Kath Jones: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Unless it’s a family wedding-

Kath Jones: Yeah … there’s no- Yeah. Cool. Yeah. Everyone’s different, and I just think a wedding is your own day, and if you don’t want it, especially, like, if you don’t have your own kids, then you, you probably don’t want kids there and, and I think that’s fine.

It should be your choice.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, we only did nieces and nephews- Yeah … and let them kinda decide if they wanted to bring them or not. Like, my sister at the time had, I think my nieces were, they were probably only two at the time, and she’s like, “No, they’ll, they’ll stay home.” But she brought- Yeah

like, her older daughter. And- Yeah … ’cause it was like, it’s, it was up to the parents, and it was like we just invited nieces and nephews, and the youngest was five. They weren’t n- we didn’t have, like, you know- Oh, yeah … a toddler.

Kath Jones: Yeah, or babies. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I think

Kath Jones: that’s pr- that’s pretty kind. I wouldn’t have done that.

Yeah. I would’ve been like, “Sorry, they’re not coming.”

Christa Innis: Yeah, I know. But yours also was like a, an el- I guess it’s considered an elopement, right? ‘Cause it’s-

Kath Jones: Yeah …

Christa Innis: yeah, you have to fly to it. Um- Yeah, yeah … yeah. But I was like, I don’t know, I couldn’t, I couldn’t picture without, but like, as for like everybody else, I was like, “No.”

21 and older only.

Kath Jones: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Kath Jones: Oh, I love that.

Christa Innis: All right. Well, thank you so much for coming on and sharing- No … your story and, you know, laughing with me. I know it’s a very vulnerable story to share, but like I said, I feel like it’s very, like, empowering of like how you shared it, and I’m sure, like, you’re inspiring so many people with your story.

Kath Jones: Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. I really enjoyed

Christa Innis: it. Of course. And where can people find you, follow your, follow along your journey? Anything else you have to share?

Kath Jones: Yeah, please follow me on TikTok. This is my new journey. When I first put my posts up, I had zero followers, not one singular follower.

Oh

Christa Innis: my God.

Kath Jones: And now I’ve got, I don’t know, like 120,000 or something. Yay. It’s quite like weirdly overnight. Um, but please follow me. It’s TikTok. It’s Kathjay, K-A-T-H-J-A-Y 89. Nice. And that would be fabulous. Thank you so

Christa Innis: much. Awesome. Thank you.

Kath Jones: Love.

by Christa Innis

Guest List Dilemma, A Stolen Wedding Date, and a Friendship Fallout

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

Get the book!

How far would you go to protect your wedding date?

Listen in as I take on rapid-fire wedding hot takes, from “shedding for the wedding” and the no-ring-no-bring rule to the expectations couples put on their wedding parties. Then into this week’s wedding dilemma: a bride whose fiancé wants to invite several coworkers she has never met, even though their guest list is already over budget and her family makes up most of it.

The real drama starts in this week’s story submission, when a maid of honor decides she wants the exact same wedding date as her best friend and expects her to move her wedding back a year. I break down what happened between the two friends and why she thinks there may be more to the story than just a wedding date.

Because apparently, there are only 365 days in the year.

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month! 

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • Shawna the Mom’s Book Tour – Christa joins Shawna Lander for her first book tour stop in Naperville, where she’ll lead the discussion at Anderson’s Bookshop.
  • Drama Ever After – Christa talks about updates on her upcoming book, Drama Ever After.
  • The Wedding Party Has Limits – Being a bridesmaid should not mean saying yes to every wedding-related event.
  • Who Makes the Guest List – A couple struggles to balance a large family guest list with the fiancé’s coworkers.
  • The Same Wedding Date – A maid of honor asks her best friend to give up her wedding date so they can get married on the same day.
  • Is the Friendship Over? – Christa questions whether the wedding date was really the reason this friendship fell apart.
  • Protect Your Peace – This week’s confessions touch on friendships, red flags, loyalty, and knowing when to walk away.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  •  ”Bachelorette trips are not mandatory. They are optional.”
  • “Talking about marriage before getting engaged, yes, 100%. That’s completely healthy. Please do that”
  • “What’s not okay is expecting someone else to rearrange their lives to accommodate when they’re not doing the same in return.”
  • “Don’t ignore red flags or your gut. I always say your gut’s there for a reason”
  • “We hold onto friendships because they have longevity, and we think that adds value, but it doesn’t always add value.”

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis, and I’m so grateful that you guys are here with me today. If it’s your first time, welcome. We have a lot of chaos, wedding drama, relationship, family stories, and so much more. this episode I wanna start off by reading a, a podcast review.

This person says, “I love to listen to wedding drama, plus the fact that I follow Christa Innis on social media, this is a match made in podcast heaven. I love this so much.” Thank you for your review, Chelsea. As always, if you are enjoying the podcast, love listening to it, please share it with a friend or leave a review of your own.

It really helps me out, helps the word get out, and, you know, those people that love listening to drama stories, this is the right place for them. it’s so funny because recently I was on another podcast, and, the Over Share Hour with my friend Jubilee, and, she on her podcast reads different Reddit stories and she was like, “Do you wanna come on and we can read wild wedding stories?”

I was like, ” Tell me more. I’m in. I would love that.” So, it’s just kind of funny, more and more people love to come to me and share these crazy stories. ’cause you know what? Who, doesn’t love to hear a crazy story? And they just get crazier and crazier. so I know I’ve been kind of all over the place.

 a lot of things that I work on behind the scenes that you guys don’t see, and I know I’ve talked about this before. and, the guys that have been here a while, through the beginning and kind of seen the different, changes I’ve made, understand it. They’ve heard the spiel of what you see out there is not always what I’m working on, right?

 so I know it’s been kind of crazy, but it’s fun. There’s just a lot of, different, like, areas that I’m trying to work on at the same time, so sometimes it’s hard for me to know where to put my focus. and I tend to… Like, I’ll have, like, a long list, and I always laugh at myself ’cause I have, like, a long list of things I need to get done, and, I’ll have a short span where I can, like, really focus.

You know, like, my daughter’s either at school or she’s napping. I’m like, “Okay, I can focus,” and then I end up doing something that wasn’t even on my list because I’m like, “Oh, I just, like, love creating the skits,” and, like, those are so fun to put out, but then I’m, like, behind another deadline. Anyway, I’m getting on a whole tangent here, 

From Skits to Book Tours

Okay, so one of the things I can finally share with you guys today, because it’s officially been announced, is, if you guys are familiar with Shauna the mom, Shauna Lander, who does the most amazing skits on social media about, moms’ experience, motherhood, relationships. I mean, she’s an amazing actress and storyteller.

 I’ve been a huge fan for a long time. She was actually on the podcast, I think back in March or April of this year. well, she is releasing her first book this October it comes out. And, I get to be a part of her book tour, so I’m really excited for that. so on October 11th, we will be in Naperville, Illinois, and it’s at Anderson’s Bookshop.

We’ll put all the details below. I don’t know if there’s, like, a limited number of tickets or how that all works. We’ve already kind of, or she’s already shared it on her social media. So, we will see. But, I’m gonna be leading a discussion with her about the book and so much more. So if you are interested in attending and hanging out with us and being a part of her first stop on the book launch, click the link in the show notes and you can come hang out.

I’m so excited. I was so honored when she asked me. like I said, I’ve been a huge fan of hers for a year. and I’m just so excited for her book. she is such a real person on and off screen, and she’s just been so kind, and I just, I look up to her and her work. So that’s one of the fun things I can share with you guys.

Some other things I can’t share quite yet, but I’m very excited for, I have, told you guys I am working on book number two, Drama Ever After. There’s the first one behind me. so that’s been another work in progress. And like I said, that’s one of the things I keep pushing off ’cause I’ll be like, ” Oh, the skits are so fun.

Rapid-Fire Wedding Takes

People are waiting.” But then I’m like, “Oh my gosh, I’m so behind on my deadlines for the book.” All right. Anyway, next up I wanted to do a kind of, like, different thing for today. It’s gonna be called Rapid Wedding Topics. I’m gonna read a wedding topic that you either see in media or people talk about and just share my quick thoughts on them.

Okay? there’s a lot out there. There’s a lot of, controversy with certain topics, and- I’m gonna try my best to be short and sweet, but you guys know how I get. Sometimes I ramble, and I get excited, and I wanna share my thoughts. So when you guys hear these topics come up, I wanna hear your thoughts too, so comment them on YouTube.

 and I almost wanna hear what you think. All right, first one, shedding for the wedding. no, I think that’s harmful.I think it creates this idea that we have to look a certain way on our wedding day, or we are not gonna be the most beautiful bride in the room. You got engaged looking just the way you do, you can get married the way you do.

 It should be about how you feel and how you want. That should be same for any fitness or weight loss goal, have to be how you feel, not how society makes us feel or anyone around you. I hate when people ask, like, “Oh, are you shedding for the wedding?” No. No, no, no.I don’t think we should do that.

 the no ring, no bring rule. No, I hate that. I hate that rule. Someone recently commented that on a video of mine about, someone not having a plus one, and someone was so adamant, like, “No ring, no bring.” I hate that. I hate it because people don’t get married for different reasons. Some people don’t wanna get married.

Some people, have been together a long time and just never wanted a ring. That’s just not their thing. I don’t know. it’s kind of putting value on a w- on a relationship just because they’re engaged or married, and I think that’s weird. ‘Cause some people get engaged after three months, some people get engaged after six years.

Some people, like I said, don’t get married. So I think that’s a weird ranking system of relationships that we shouldn’t have. Um, okay, no ring by spring. Um, that’s kind of insinuating more of, like, an ultimatum for people and saying, like, “Oh, if I don’t get a ring by this certain date, we’re breaking up.” I am so, so, so anti that because you shouldn’t have to give an ultimatum to take that next step together, and it makes me wonder: Where does that end?

So if you’re gonna have an ultimatum for this, are you gonna have an ultimatum for, oh, if we don’t have a baby by this point, if we don’t have, if you don’t have a, this certain job by this point, if we don’t have this kind of house? It just creates a weird dynamic, I think, in relationships. Okay, no kids at weddings.

I think it’s fine. I think it’s totally up to the bride and groom. It’s totally up to the couple getting married. I think it’s fine with, I think it’s fine without, I think it’s fine if it’s just family. It’s whatever you want. I think that’s okay. No plus one for a single guest. Acceptable or rude? Hmm. I think it’s gonna depend on the wedding.

I know that I said little words, but I think it’s really gonna depend on the wedding. There are some where it really is just a small group of people, and they’re gonna have their family, they’re gonna have all their friends there, so I think that’s okay. If it’s a huge wedding and they’re just purposely leaving some people out because they’re single, mm, I think that’s kinda weird.

Like, I, I remember getting, being very surprised one time, ’cause I went to one of my mom’s friend’s weddings, and I was 20, 20 or 21 at the time, and, um, I got a plus-one. I was like, “I’m going with my family.” Like, I wasn’t… I was very surprised. I wasn’t dating anyone, so I just brought one of my friends from college.

Okay, um, wedding guest dress codes. I think they’re fine. I think it just depends on the level, right? Like, let’s say, okay, we’re gonna have cocktail dress attire, we’re gonna have formal dress attire, we’re gonna have casual dress attire. I think that’s fine. When we’re getting very specific and telling people, like, you have to dress this way or don’t come, that’s a little much.

Costumes optional or a certain style optional, yeah, that’s fine. Uh, wedding content creators. I think if the couple wants that, absolutely, I don’t see the problem in it, with it. I think what’s great about it is that you’re not having the couple being on their own phones or, like, the wedding party on their phone.

You can have someone take care of it. So I think it’s totally fine. If you don’t have the budget for it, don’t even worry about it. I think your wedding will be fine without it. Um, and also making sure, ’cause I did see a story about this, making sure that your photographer and content creator are either a part of the same team or they realize they’re both there, because I’ve heard of them kind of bumping heads.

So make sure they’re kinda all on the same page. Um, bridesmaid proposal boxes. I think they’re cute because I like… I loved that. I couldn’t wait to give mine to my, um, bridesmaids, but I think we are getting into the overconsumption of, like, having to spend a certain dollar amount. I’ve seen a lot of influencers That share like thousand dollar gifts for their bridesmaids, and while that’s all well and good if you can afford it and that, you know, works for your bridal party, to me doing that and then sharing that makes people think that they have to spend more.

So it just creates this over-consumption, um, idea that we have to keep spending more and more and more, and I don’t like that. Bachelorette trips. I just talked about this. I think they’re great, but what, what, what needs to happen is the, I, uh, we need to take away is the n- the making people feel like they have to say yes is an optional thing.

Bachelorette trips are not mandatory. They are optional. Um, and it’s gonna depend for the c- the type of women you’re inviting and the type of people you’re inviting and the group. If it’s like a couple people don’t know the others, it’s not gonna work as, as well. I’ve gone to a couple where we’re all best friends.

We’ve all known each other for years and it’s just a fun girls trip, so to me it was just, that was worth it. But if I’m invited to one where like I don’t know anybody else, I’m probably gonna say no. I’m like, “I’m not gonna spend the money.” Um, I was invited to one years ago that was in another country and I was like, “No, I’d rather go there with my…”

Then it was my boyfriend, but now husband. So I think it’s fine. It’s up to the bride. They can host or invite you to anything, but you just don’t have to say yes Um, bridesmaid requirements. What, where should be the, where should the deadline be? Honestly, I think the only things that should be required is being there on the wedding day and wearing the dress you were told to wear, or purchase, or that you were gifted, right?

I think that’s what should be required. People are busy. Like I said recently in a video, people’s lives move on. Um, if you really care about them truly and you just want them as a bridesmaid because you guys have been there for each other, the only … I really think the only requirement should be being there at the wedding day.

Now, I’m not saying be there at the wedding day and just stand there like you’re so bored, you hate being there. Be excited. Be a part of it. Be… You know, see where you can lend a helpful hand. But to go to four different things like, like fly to a bachelorette party and, and spend money at a bridal shower, those are all great, but I hate the word requirement.

Um, chances are, if you have mutual respect for each other, you love and support each other, they will want to come to your things. But if someone cannot afford it, or they can’t take off work, or they have other obligations, let’s just learn to say, “That’s great. No problem. We get it.” Um, okay. We’re kinda getting into marriage territory.

Sharing phone passwords, yeah, I don’t see the problem with it. I don’t… Like, my husband and I have, like, know each other’s passwords for everything, but it’s like, just kinda like, “Oh, it’s there.” Like, it’s not like, “Ugh, I need to know your password.” I’m not, like, on his phone scrolling. I have my own phone. But I don’t see the problem with it.

Um, joint bank accounts. I think, I remember hearing years ago, it’s like you should have, like, one joint one that you use for like bills and stuff that you pay together, but then have your own money. I think it’s r- I talk about this so many times, I think it’s so important to have financial freedom, and I think people should have, people in relationships should have their own bank accounts and then one that’s joint that’s for, like, bills and stuff like that.

Um, it’s good to have your own independence when it comes to finances. Um, okay. Separate bedrooms. W- Couldn’t be me, but I know a lot of people do it, and it works for them. Um, we’ve never had an issue. I know a lot of people do, like, the sleep divorce where they, like, have their own bedroom or they just, like, sleep in their own room, and it works for a lot of people.

So I’m not gonna yuck somebody else’s yum. If that works for your relationship, I think that’s great. More power to you. That’s just not me

Uh, posting your relationship constantly. It can kinda be a little eh. Um, it’s kinda one of those… It’s, it’s in the same line as people that post, um, like things they have all the time, like money they have and possessions they have. To constantly post about your relationship and how great your relationship is is a little, like, it’s that social media of, like, highlight reel of, like, we’re so perfect.

Like, look at us. We have everything going for us. So I think you need to be a little more well-rounded and post other things, too. That’s all

Um, staying friends with an ex. I think that’s gonna be really individual. I think for the most part, probably not. If it’s someone that you dated in, like, middle school, and it was, like, barely dating, and you call them an ex, sure, I don’t think it’s harmless. But I think for the most part, if you were dating someone kinda seriously, like, probably just leave that in the past.

I don’t know. Um- Ultimatums about getting engaged. I think I talked about that already. Yeah, I don’t think they’re good. I, I don’t think there should ever be an ultimatum when it comes to getting engaged or married. I just think that sets your marriage up for a weird hierarchy kind of rule thing. I don’t know.

Setting a marriage timeline, if that means, like, “Okay, we wanna get married”… Like, if you guys are on the same page, like, “Yeah, we wanna get married by this time,” I think that’s fine. Talking about marriage before getting engaged, yes, 100%. That’s completely healthy. Please do that. Um, you’ve seen those proposals where, like, you can clearly tell they’ve never talked about marriage before, and they’re both shocked.

Or the person getting proposed to is shocked, and it’s just like, you never decided to talk about it? So yeah, I think setting up a marriage timeline is perfectly fine. Um, but also realizing that things can change or, like, other priorities might happen first, or life can change, and that’s okay, too. ‘Cause I know a lot of people when I was younger, they’d be like, “I wanna be married by, like, 28,” and then 29 came, then 30, and it’s like, guys, it’s okay.

Like, it’s okay to get married by the time you’re 30. It’s fine, and many years after. Um, picking out your engagement ring together. Absolutely. I think that’s totally fine. I think it’s a great, you know, great way moving forward of, like, chatting about what you like because you hear these stories where someone gets proposed to and they look at the ring and they’re like, “I don’t even like…

I don’t wear silver. I don’t like heart-shaped jewelry.” You know, whatever that is, they, like, never talked about it, or he, like, went with, like, his mom or something, and the mom’s like, “Oh, this looks good,” and then they never talked about it. So yes, it’s better safe than sorry. Talk about what you guys want.

Make sure you’re on the same page when it comes to getting married if that’s something you want and, and do- everything down the line. Okay. We’re gonna do a little wedding dilemma now. Um, this one we actually shared in my email list, uh, a couple weeks back. If you’re not on my email list, be sure to join it.

We share wedding dilemmas, exclusive stories, uh, stories from the vault I like to call them, um, and then links to all of our recent stuff, too. So if you’re ever like, “I don’t know where that is,” or, “Did they ever share this?” All the recent stuff is in there, so you guys can sign up for my email list in the show notes as well.

The 70% Guest List Problem

If you wanna send in a wedding dilemma, you can email us, hello@christainnis.com, or you can DM me on Instagram

Okay, this says: My family is huge, and right now they make up almost 70% of our guest list. My fiancé has a much smaller family, but he wants to invite several of his coworkers, most of whom I’ve never even met. We’re already over budget, so if we add his coworkers, I have to start cutting some of my own family members from the guest list.

I feel awful about cutting family members I actually know and am close to just to make room for his coworkers. Is it fair for me to feel this way? Okay, this is a very complicated, uh, answer that I’m gonna have, but I have a lot of questions to follow up, and maybe if you’re listening, you can give me some more, uh, feedback on this.

Okay. Okay, so my first question would be do- does he know all of your family members? Because if you’re inviting aunts, uncles, cousins, second cousins, nieces, nephews, whatever, and maybe he hasn’t met all of them. How big is your wedding, wedding, uh, guest list? If it’s like 300 people and you get 70%, that’s a big difference.

I think it should be a little more even. Um, it would suck to have to cut back on family, but again, it depends on like how big we’re talking here, or how many of these family members does he know or not know. Because especially when you have a smaller family, your coworkers or your friends can feel like family, and if he’s worked at this job for a while, he sees them every day, he hangs out with them outside of work, that’s important to him, right?

Um, and so I’m guessing you guys have not… Well, it says you’re over budget already.

Over budget already. So I’m wondering at what part of the wedding planning process are you? Do you guys already have a venue? ‘Cause typically you’ll list out everyone on your guest list first. So if this was, like, a last-minute add on his part where he’s like, “Okay, I wanna add these coworkers because we’ve gotten closer during our engagement,” and now you have to cut them back, that’s one thing.

But I’m thinking it’s before you even sent out, sent out invitations If, I mean, it’s fair for you to feel this way. I get it, especially if you come from a big family, you’re used to having everyone around. But you also need to see it from his perspective. If he has a small family, again, these coworkers, these friends could feel like family to him.

They could feel closer to him, and I feel like if you have 70%, it is a little unfair to expect him to just invite his family and only get them because his family is smaller. Um, so again, are we talking you’re cutting out second cousins here that he doesn’t know himself, or are we talking out- about like, you now have to cut out aunts and uncles?

So I feel like that’s where the difference matters is like, okay, who are we talking about cutting out? Can we, uh, can we somehow get them all invited? Um, I think we also need to think about who’s paying for all of it. Not saying because your family’s paying versus his family or vice versa, but I feel like we’re going into a partnership, so we need to learn how to work together, list everybody out and say like, “Okay, it’s 50/50.

You get 50% of the people, I get 50% of the people,” if we can’t actually come to an agreement. And then typically, you’ll kind of narrow down the list, and then you’ll find a venue based on what can fit in that size. Now, if you’re saying you’re over budget already because you’re, you’re guessing like, okay, this venue we’re looking at is, let’s say, $100 a person, $200 a plate, whatever that looks like, and you’re like okay, quickly doing the math, you’re like, “We can’t have 200 people, and if we add his coworkers, we’re gonna have 200 people.

That’s too many.” So I think you guys need to sit down together, look at the list again. If he doesn’t know your whole family, then I think it’s equal. I think it’s equal then if he doesn’t know your whole family. Get rid of the family members that he doesn’t know to kind of even it out a little bit because it needs to be…

I think it’s hard when you’re like, “Oh, I have a big family, so they all need to come.” Family’s thicker than water, you know? But again, like for him, just because he wasn’t born into a big family, I don’t think he should be- that should be taken away from him. So I know your only– your question was, is it fair for me to feel this way?

You can absolutely feel that way, but I feel like before you guys move forward, you need to get on the same page. And if he has met all your family, um-

I don’t know. How many, how many coworkers is he trying to invite here? ‘Cause that could be a big difference. Um, I personally think that everyone, if you’re setting up a guest list together, everyone that you picture on your wedding day should be able to come or be invited within the budget, right? Within your own limits.

So, getting on the same page and, um, just coming to agreement about, you know, what, what’s gonna, what’s gonna make us both happy on this day If we’re talking about he has- he wants to invite 20 coworkers and you have to get rid of 20 m- family members to even it out a little bit better, how, how can we make it work?

Um, yeah. I know, I know that’s, like, a very, like, challenging question. Um, I know there’s a lot of issues with that. But I think it’s… I think it needs to be evened out a little bit, especially having 70% of the guest list. All right. I hope that helps a little bit. I know it wasn’t, like, a complete answer, ’cause there’s so many unknowns, right?

It’s just about, like, the wedding size, the family size, how, like, the relationship is with each of you guys and the family, ’cause you only mentioned not knowing his coworkers, not the other way around. So just think about it from all perspectives. All right, guys, let me get a drink of water, and we are gonna do this week’s wedding story submission.

Wedding Date Betrayal

All right, here we go. My husband and I had been dating for about a year when, bef- okay. My husband and I had been dating for about a year before we got engaged. I’m 25, and this is the story of how I lost my maid of honor because she decided she wanted my wedding date. Okay. I got engaged on October 4th, 2025, and about 20 minutes after putting the ring on my finger, we had already picked our date, October 2nd, 2027.

Wow. But truthfully, you can’t pick a wedding date until you talk to the venue. I mean, that’s so far in advance you’d probably be fine, but that’s very quick to pick an exact date Okay. Since our engagement anniversary falls on October 4th, we wanted our wedding to be as close to that date as possible while still having a weekend wedding Of course, one of the first people I called was my best friend.

She already knew she would be the maid of honor, and during that same call, less than an hour after getting engaged, I told her our wedding date I am so surprised by all of this. Um, and not to diminish it, like, they’re, they’re pretty young, but s- calling, like, getting engaged, setting a date, calling your best friend, saying she’s already my, my, my maid of honor, and this is the date we’re gonna get married.

This is all before, like, going to a venue, talking to wedding planners or vendors. Like, they’re… Like, my planner mind is just like, how? How are they, like, just setting a date already? Unless they, like, are doing it in, like, their parents’ backyard or, like, they know they can have it already, I’m just like, how?

How is this happening? Fast-forward to the summer of 2026, so recent, just happened. We briefly considered pushing the wedding back one year to October 2nd, 2028. But it was only, but it was only a possibility. Our goal was still very much October 2nd, 2027, and my maid of honor knew that. Around the same time, she was constantly dealing with relationship problems.

We lived across the country from each other, so we talked on the phone almost daily. We shared everything, and I knew just about every issue in her life, most of them involving her terrible boyfriend. In July, she even told me that if he proposed, she would say no She called almost every day to complain about him, at least twice a week.

She’d tell me she was ready to kick him out after another screaming match or silent treatment. But honestly, it wasn’t just him who hadn’t changed. Over the last couple of years, over the last couple of years, she had become increasingly angry, judgmental, and condescending. If you shared something exciting, she’d find a way to tear it down.

If you opened up about your feelings, she’d explain why you were wrong for feeling that way. It became a toxic cycle that everyone around her could see. Whether it was her boyfriend rubbing off on her or she was simply becoming a different person, I tried to keep an open mind. I spent countless evenings on the phone with her for hours while she cried, often ignoring my own fiancé just to be there for her, because that’s what you do for someone you love, and I loved her.

Then at the end of August 2026, she got engaged to that same toxic boyfriend. Whoa, this is like a brand-new story. This… We must have just gotten this. Okay. I was genuinely happy for her. I celebrated with her, showered her with love, and hoped she had found happiness. We spent hours talking through every detail of the proposal, and she seemed excited.

Two days later, she called me. Oh, gosh, I’m so nervous for what’s gonna happen. Mm. Okay. I’d only been awake for about 45 minutes when she asked, “So, your wedding date is October 4th, 2027, right?” I laughed a little because we talked about the date so many times over the past year. “No,” I said. “October 2nd. We got engaged on the 4th and wanted to keep the dates close.”

She immediately got that little frown that she does when she doesn’t like what she’s hearing. Then she told me that she and her fiancé wanted that date because it was so special to them, and since I was only hoping for 2027, I could just move my wedding date to 2028.

People are wild. There are 12 months in the year, between 28 and 31 days, and you have to pick the exact date that your best friend… What? Oh my gosh. So she could, I could just move my wedding date to 2028. After that, we switched to texting. I explained that while some details were still being figured out, the one thing that wasn’t changing was our date.

I told her I wasn’t trying to be selfish, but I had this date planned for almost a year, and it held meaning for us. Her response was, “I get why you feel that way, but I don’t think having the same anniversary in different years takes away from either of us. Our relationships are separate from our friendships, and we picked October 2nd because it’s special to us for our own reasons, just like it’s special to you.

I really hope you can be, we can both be happy for each other.” Okay, so I’m gonna look back for a second So The friend is saying Her fiancé wanted that date of October second Because it’s special to them

Since I was only hoping… Okay, so the friend wants to get married in 2027 and, and then have the O- OP or the person that wrote this in 2028. Okay, so even weirder. They’re like, “Push yours back a year.” Here’s the thing. I never once heard her mention October second as a meaningful date in their relationship.

As her best friend, I would have known if something held significance. And if it really had, she had an entire year to tell me after I announced my wedding date. Knowing her that… Knowing her, that text didn’t read as understanding. It read as, “I’m taking the date. Be happy for me or you’re the problem.” I’m not someone who likes conflict.

Honestly, I didn’t even know what having a backbone looked like until I met my fiancé. He’s always been the one to point out when people are taking advantage of my kindness or walking all over me. For months, she’d been– For months, he’d been telling me that my maid of honor had been doing little things that weren’t okay, but I’d always brushed them off.

I found myself asking everyone closest to me, especially him, if I was wrong for feeling hurt. Should I just let go and change my date? After a lot of back and forth with myself, I realized, no, I don’t wanna share my wedding anniversary with the same person who would have absolutely lost her mind if someone had done this to her.

The Final Straw

I don’t wanna postpone my wedding if I can make it happen in twenty twenty-seven. And I think it’s strange that she keeps insisting my date was October fourth when she literally has the custom save the date I made for my bridal party hanging on her refrigerator. She sees it all the time. She could have looked at it before asking me.

It honestly felt like she wanted to take something that was special to us. My fiancé and I have known each other since we were eight and nine years old. She has known me since we were, we were fifteen. She knows everything we’ve been through and how much this date means to us. I haven’t spoken to her since.

I told her I needed space, and honestly, I don’t think I’ll be the first one to reach out There have been so many issues over the last couple of years, and this was simply the final straw. I don’t have the energy to teach another grown adult how to be kind. No bride wants someone else taking her wedding date, especially not her best friend and maid of honor.

I know I don’t own the day, but to me it’s about respect. Everyone has known for nearly a year this is the date we were working toward, but out of everyone in my life, she was the last person I expected to do something like this. I’m sorry this was so long, but it honestly feels good to get it all out.

Maybe someone else has felt the same mix of confusion, frustration, sadness, and even guilt for saying, “No, I’m not okay with this.” I know I don’t own a date, but friendship should always come with a certain level of respect. I would never even think about doing this to her, so why is it okay when it’s done to me?

Not everyone in their twenties is on the same wavelength. We’re still figuring out who we are and growing, and that’s okay. Well, uh, what’s not okay is expecting someone else to rearrange their lives to accommodate when they’re not doing the same in return. Okay, we’re getting a lot of, uh, extra, extra inspiration right now.

Okay. Or I would say introspection. Uh, that might have been a made-up word. Okay. Please don’t do this to your friends. Yes, it’s just a day, but we all know it isn’t.

Your wedding day is special, sacred, and unique. Telling someone to simply move it because you want the date is rude and honestly pretty cruel. in the end, we decided our bridal party will be just our siblings, and we’re still planning on keeping our original date, and honestly, there’s an incredible amount of stress that’s been lifted from my shoulders.

I didn’t even realize how much emotional weight I’ve been carrying all this time. I still love her, but I love my peace, and the future I’m building with my fiancé even more. My fiancé’s grandfather used to say, “At the end of the day, everyone’s gonna piss you off. The trick is deciding who you let piss you off forever.”

I wish I could have met him. From everything I’ve heard, he was an incredible man with a great sense of humor. Um, losing friends is hard, but having the right partner beside you makes losing… makes these losses a lot easier to carry Okay, we got a little lost in the end there. Um, I appreciate her sending all this.

Um, okay Back to the beginning here. There’s a lot… I, I don’t know. I’ve just read a similar story like this on YouTube, and I’m feeling pulled between the both. First, I know everyone’s different when they get engaged, but you typically don’t need three years to plan out your wedding. Um, so when did they get engaged?

October 2025, and they’re looking to get married October of 2027. Some venues, sure, you might need a couple years to hold down your date, but it’s still… The way they’re talking though makes it sound like the wedding’s not actually booked yet, ’cause a venue’s not gonna be like, “Oh yeah, you can push it back another year if you want.”

Like, usually you’re, you’re locked into a contract, so I’m still not sure about that. Um, and then when the friend’s, like, making these comments and is like, “Oh, well, we want October 27, so… 2027, so you can push yours back a year,” I’m still not entirely sure why she’s in, in this rocky relationship. So to me, this reads as very, um, toxic, yeah, but insecure.

She’s had this toxic relationship. She’s on and off with him. She said, “I’m gonna say no if he proposes.” But now they’re suddenly proposed s- proposed… Or nah. Now they’re suddenly engaged. She’s so happy, and she wants your wedding date. That reads insecurity to me, so that seems very odd. However, this is still two years away, so that’s the other thing about why is she so eager to tell you, “Push your wedding year back a year so I can have it”?

Now, where I don’t necessarily agree, um, well, I don’t agree with that person in general, but, um, where I don’t agree with this person that’s writing this in is I… Yes, wedding dates can be sacred to you, but a year later if someone else chooses your wedding date or the week of your wedding, um, it’s not gonna really have an effect on you, right?

Like, you’re not gonna be selling y- celebrating your wedding anniversary with your friend, right? It’s between you and your then… your husband. Um, so I don’t get why people get really hung up on anniversary dates. It’s special to you. People are gonna have kids on that date. People are gonna have… Like, different things are gonna happen on your wedding day that you can’t stop, right?

Um, it’s gonna happen. I get it can be a little annoying if they have the exact same wedding date, so yes, I get that. They can pick a different date. So this whole thing is very odd to me, and I think there’s way more to the story. Where I also get a little lost is when she says, um, they have this text conversation.

First they’re on the phone, and that’s when the fia- the friend is right away like, “Oh, you know, I really want that date, so you can push yours back.” And then they start texting, and, um-

She has to have October 2nd too. That’s so weird to me. Like, okay, what happened in October? I mean, if, but again, like Why is she so keen on booking this two years in advance? We don’t even know if she has a wedding date set yet, the friend, right? Um, but what’s weird to me is that she just stops talking to her.

So they have this text conversation. Sh- they don’t like conflict. There’s back and forth, and then I agree with her saying, “No, I’m not gonna postpone my wedding.” Yeah, like, no, you got engaged. This was your date. If your friend wants to get married on that same date, that’s on her. She can have her celebration somewhere else.

You already set this date. You figured it out. This is your wedding date. No, you’re not gonna postpone it, of course not. But I’m so confused, so you haven’t talked to her since. That was it. So that makes me think that this relationship, this friendship, has already been kind of goofy. There’s already been something kinda off, because let me tell you what, if I got in a little texting thing with one of my best friends and we went back and forth, I wouldn’t just be like, “Well, you know what?

Friendship’s Unspoken Issues

That’s it. Screw her, I’m done.” That tells me there has been years and years and years of you guys either one-upping each other or disagreeing on things or insecurities. It sounds like you’re there for her a lot with her now fiancé. And I get it, this was just the final straw. But I always get… I’m always like, but there wa- there was nothing.

There was no big conversation of like, “Hey, this really bothered me.” N- like, I don’t even know if, did you actually even tell her? No. It just says there was a lot of back and forth Um, I would definitely feel hurt if someone told me to push my wedding back. Absolutely. Like, no, I’m not gonna push my wedding back.

Like, this is the date I chose, and I told you it. It sounds like you printed out save the dates, you have the date p- figured out. Um, so that’s a really weird thing of her to do

I feel like there’s a lot missing from this story though. Where, like, there’s a lot of gaps in here. I don’t know, I, I just, I couldn’t imagine just not talking to my best friend after, like, one little disagreement. Now, uh, I don’t- I’m not saying that’s little. I don’t think it’s a little disagreement, but this is one thing, right?

So I feel like a lot of things have happened over the years, and this was your moment to just be like, “I’m done.” And weddings have a way of doing that. We kind of realize who’s there for us and who’s not, and that would definitely, while that would definitely rub me the wrong way, I feel like I would need some final word of being like, “Why are you doing this?

You told me a month ago that you don’t even wanna get married to him, and now you’re trying to take the exact wedding date and pushing mine back So I don’t know if she’s still invited to your wedding. You haven’t talked to her, so I don’t know. But just keep doing what you’re doing. Keep it planned as normal.

She’ll either come around or she won’t, and then you’ll obviously realize. I think her true colors are coming out. I think she’s probably a little insecure, a little jealous that you guys are engaged, you have a wedding date, you’re kind of moving forward with everything. And that was a, that was a shitty thing to do of her to be like, “Hey, by the way, we want that exact wedding date even though we’re kinda on and off, we’re kinda iffy.”

Um, so yeah, I hope I didn’t come off that I wasn’t, like, on your side. I’m on your side. There’s just a lot of things here that I’m like, “Oh, I, I need to know, understand what’s going on Um And it reads kind of like I don’t wanna say juvenile, but it’s kinda like this, like, idea of a wedding almost. Like with the friend, it’s like she just got engaged almost like to, like, catch up with you.

Um, she’s like, “Oh, she just got engaged. She’s planning her wedding, so let’s get engaged, and I need her wedding date.” I- that is so weird. That’s not a good friend. That’s not someone I would want around. But I think where my unsatisfaction is is that there was no final conversation of telling her like, “This is wrong.

This is not okay So I feel like this story just came in. If they just got engaged the end of August, so we’re talking 11 days ago as I’m recording this, right? So to me that, again, that’s another thing. Like, most people don’t get engaged and then right away come up with a date, and then right away tell everybody that date.

Typically, they might be like, “Oh, you know, we wanna get engaged,” or, “We wanna get married, like, next fall or next spring.” You look at venues. You see what’s available. You see how many people are gonna maybe come, like, get a guest list going. “Okay, where can we fit? What venue can we fit at?” And then they tell you, like, the dates available, and then you pick a date.

Then you tell family and friends. You know what I’m saying? Like, it just seems very, like, backwards of, like, did something happen on this date that they both are trying to claim? Like, why this date, and why is it so important? Um, like I said, I just did a YouTube video where, um, I can’t remember if they were sisters or friends.

But it was something where someone had her wedding or her wedding d- it was… I think it was sisters, her wedding day, and then the sister announced after that wedding that they were gonna get married… She was gonna get married the following year, basically a day before the year anniversary. And the sister, and the girl that wrote it in was mad about that, that it was, like, the first anniversary weekend, even though it wasn’t the exact day.

And I was like, you can’t really… You can’t own a day. Like, you can’t. Um- People are gonna get married the same year. Kids’ birthdays are gonna fall on your anniversary and your birthday, and you kinda just have to figure out when you get older, okay, like, are we gonna celebrate it on our actual anniversary or birthday or the following weekend?

I mean, I don’t know. Maybe I’m just not a sentimental person that way. Also, like, my daughter’s birthday is, like, really close to, um, my anniversary, and we have, like, so many birthdays are on the same time. Like, best friends’ kids’ birthdays are right around, like, my anniversary and daughter’s birthday. So I…

To me, I’m just like, it’s… We’ll find a time to celebrate. It’s fine. Like, I don’t care. So maybe I’m not sentimental about that kind of thing. Um, yeah, and at the end of the day, it’s a date So yeah. Oh, guys. Okay. Share your guys’ advice on your own for this person, what you think. Um, I just feel like there’s a lot missing.

You’re losing a friend now. Friendship over. It was a weird thing for her to ask, but I’m so thrown off by it. She had to have done something similar like this before, that I’m wondering why she was around for so long. But I get it, we hold onto friendships because they have longevity, and we think that adds value, but it doesn’t always add value.

Hard Lessons, Honest Confessions

All right, guys. I know I was all over the place. How we feeling? All right. Let’s end with our confessions of the week. What’s a lesson you learned the hard way? This person says, “Some friendship matters… Some friendships matter only when it suits them.” Oh, yeah, 100%. I’ve seen many of those. “Once a cheater, always a cheater.”

Yeah, I think that’s pretty true for the most part. “You don’t have to stay friends with people who make you feel bad about yourself.” Yes. You have every right to say no to a friendship, to end a friendship at any time. And I think it’s kind of like the famous quote, uh, I’m gonna butcher who said it. Hold on

Okay, it’s a quote by Maya Angelou. “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” And I, I’ve said that so many times lately because sometimes you can’t pinpoint what a person did to you, but you’re like, “I always feel on edge around them,” or, “I always feel like I did something wrong,” or, “I always feel like I have to, like, defend myself,” or, “I always feel like I’m not good enough around certain people,” right?

And I’m like, and I’ll… There’s just some examples. And I’ll be like, “But what was the, like, exact moment?” And I’ll be like, “I can’t think of it. But every time I’m around that person, this is how I feel.” And then you have to, like, step back and you to, have to limit that time. Um, and you don’t have to stay friends with that person.

I think when we’re younger, w- when we, when we are, like, people pleasers, we’re like, “Okay, I’m gonna do, like, whatever I can to get people to like me.” And then when you get older, you’re like, “I don’t have to be friends with that person just because, like, so and so is friends with them.” You just don’t have to.

If your in-laws don’t like you from day one or for no reason, it will never change or get better, better. Um, yeah, I haven’t learned that through personal experience. I have a great relationship with, with my in-laws. But from all these stories I’ve read, it doesn’t change. If they are rude or cold to you day one, they will be rude and cold to you from day 300.

It just, that’s just how it is unfortunately.

Um, don’t ever let a man control the way you react. Yeah, girl. Um, don’t ignore red flags or your gut. I always say your gut’s there for a reason, you know. Oh, this person said, “Trust your gut always.”

Sometimes it’s better… Okay, wait. Trust your gut always. She told me I’m not that close friends with her, uh, than my other friend. Sometimes it’s better to make the choice for them if they can’t fully choose you. Yeah, I get that. Yep. Loyalty to a job or company isn’t valued and you will not, and will not protect you.

Yeah, it’s unfortunate, but that’s very true. Okay, last one. Don’t invite everyone to the hospital room right after giving birth. Wait a few days. As someone that had no hospital visitors, I 100% support that. It’s the best when no one’s there other than your partner and a doula or a nurse. Best. I will talk about that all day.

All right, guys. Thanks for hanging out with me this week. Um, it’s been a pleasure. Um, of course, as I mentioned earlier, I will be with Shauna Lander, Shauna the mom, in Naperville, Illinois, October 11th. So you can buy your tickets to come to her book signing. Um, and that’ll be a lot of fun. We’re gonna do, like, a little fun discussion.

I’m nervous, but I’m excited. Um, and then some other thing, fun things coming up. Um, when I hit a 100,000 followers on YouTube, I’ll be doing a big giveaway. I just did a big Instagram giveaway. Um, we did $1,000 giveaway. I’m gonna be doing another really big giveaway for, um, YouTube, ’cause that’s been a hard one to grow, but it’s been a lot of fun.

I’m so close. I think I’m 1,000 subscribers away. So if you’re not subscribed there yet, please go and subscribe and be on the lookout for a fun little giveaway. All right, guys. Thanks so much for listening, and I will see you next time. Bye now.

by Christa Innis

Craziest Moments, Wedding Sabotage, and a Child-Free Wedding Dilemma

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

Get the book!

When family drama collides with wedding plans, the child‑free debate takes center stage. 

In this week’s episode, after a whirlwind August, it is the perfect time to revisit some of my favorite conversations. You will hear episode highlights with Salma, Ivette, Shawna the Mom, and Lauren Lowder of Burnt Out Teachers.

But the real conversation of this episode is a new listener dilemma. Planning a pagan wedding in 2028 with unity circle seating, only to face the question of whether the ceremony should be child free. 

The twist? Concerns about a sibling’s kids who have a history of disrupting family gatherings. I dive into the messy tension between wanting everyone included and protecting the meaning of the day, sharing perspective on boundaries, communication, and how to celebrate without letting family drama steal the spotlight.

Is wedding planning bringing out the worst in people, or simply revealing who they really are? 

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month! 

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • Child-Free Ceremony Drama – One bride faces backlash after considering a child-free ceremony because of her brother’s unruly kids.
  • Know Your Finances – A woman facing divorce realizes she barely knows anything about her household finances.
  • The Ex Gets Invited – A jealous stepmother invites her son’s ex to the engagement party and takes sabotage way too far.
  • Wedding Cake Sabotage – An engagement party cake features the ex-girlfriend’s name instead of the bride’s fiancé.
  • Toxic In-Laws Escalate – Controlling relatives move from parenting criticism to shocking accusations and an attempted child abduction.
  • Disowned Over A Seating Chart – A future mother-in-law threatens to cut off her son because she hates her wedding table.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  •  ”Just be firm with your boundaries. If you ultimately decide no kids at the ceremony, no kids reception, stick to it and that’s that.” – Christa Innis
  •  ”It’s not because people don’t like kids and not because they’re worried about the kids, it’s because the parents aren’t going to take control over the kids.” – Christa Innis
  • “It always tell everybody you need a prenup. I don’t care if you’re just starting out.” – Salma
  • “I felt validated that she knew that there was a possibility that I would still leave that door open. that made me feel like kind of good about what I put out there.” – Salma
  • “ Do you not love your son? Don’t you want it to be a good experience for him?” – Ivette Bracken
  • “She was kind of trying to be the bigger person and give her that benefit of the doubt and it totally backfired.” – Ivette Bracken
  • “It makes everything much more contentious. I can’t fathom this.“ – Shawna Lander
  • “Why do they do that? It’s not like she goes away, they have to still manage the child together.” – Shawna Lander
  • “Disowning your kid for where you’re sitting at their wedding is psychotic, lady.” – Lauren Lowder
  • “If someone has no boundaries they will only continue to show that they have no boundaries the more you explain.” – Lauren Lowder

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

About the Guests

Salma Qaddourah
She is an attorney in Indianapolis, focusing on family and divorce law. She has seen how quickly things can shift when communication is overlooked in the lead-up to a wedding.

Her content comes across like advice from a big sister who wants the best for you. Less about telling you what to do, more about making sure you are thinking things through.

Ivette Bracken
She is part of Christa’s inner circle and stood by her side as matron of honor. As a mom, wife, and psychotherapist, she brings thoughtful perspective, emotional insight, and a little unfiltered honesty to the mic.

Shawna Lander
Shawna Lander is a creator and storyteller known for bringing relatable, and often chaotic, family dynamics to life through her viral name, Shawna the Mom. By playing multiple characters herself, she explores the realities of motherhood, relationships, and family reality in a way that feels both entertaining and uncomfortably real.

Lauren Lowder
Lauren Lowder is a creator, former teacher, and the voice behind Burnt Out Teachers, where she brings the chaos, frustration, and hilarity of classroom life to the internet through viral storytelling and character-driven skits. Her content shines a light on burnout, difficult parents, toxic work dynamics, and the realities many teachers quietly deal with every day.

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Blog Transcript:

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Christa Innis: Hey, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis and as always, thank you for being here. I feel like August was the quickest month of my life. I feel like I can hardly keep up, but August was exceptionally, busy. We had our family vacation. I think I talked about this in a previous episode.

August Camp Social

so I was gone for a week, and then I went to a women’s camp that I went to last year. wearing the hat right now, Camp Social. so there was just so much going on. that all being said, today is going to be a little bit of a highlight episode. Every few episodes I like to do highlight episodes and showcase some of the great conversations that we’ve had, but if you’re like, “Well, I’ve listened to all of them,” don’t hang up yet or don’t turn this off yet because I am gonna do a brand new wedding dilemma that was just sent to me, I think, two weeks ago, so it’s very fresh.

We’re gonna get into it in just a minute. But this week we are gonna highlight, important conversations and wild stories featuring Salma, my best friend Ivette, who’s been on multiple times but one of the more recent episodes, Shawna Lander, Shawna The Mom, as many of you guys know her, and Lauren Lowder, so, also known as Burnt Out Teachers.

So great conversation with some great co-hosts for those episodes and, some wild stories. So we’re gonna highlight, those episodes just because I need to catch my breath a little bit. and I’m also curious, you guys can comment this on YouTube or wherever you listen, but if you listen to the episode or listened to multiple episodes and you are thinking, “Oh, blank would be a great co-host or great guest on this show” let me know who you’re thinking of.

I’m always looking for a new guest to have on the show, and we do a little bit of outreach and see who can come on. I do all the outreach myself personally just because I feel like it only makes sense to have people on that I personally admire their work or connect with or have seen, and, there’s just so many great, fun people out there that I would love to get to know, and this is a great way to kind of connect in that way.

Child-Free Dilemma

So okay, we are gonna highlight some previous episodes as well, but let’s get into this week’s wedding dilemma. Here we go ” I need advice. We’re having a traditional pagan wedding ceremony in 2028 with a unity circle seating arrangement. I’ve seriously been considering making the ceremony child-free, with the exception of children who are actually part of the wedding.”

Okay, very common. ” That would include my two boys and my two older sister’s daughters. One will be the flower girl, and the other will act as an usher since they’ll have assigned seating. The problem is, if I’m being completely honest-“

the main reason I’m considering this is because of my brother’s kids. Ooh, okay. My brother and his wife have very little control over their children. When they’re around family, they tend to sit on their phones and expect everyone else to watch the kids, then act surprised when the kids get into something or misbehave.

They’re currently living with my parents, and the kids have very little respect for my parents or their home. The last time they were at my house, they went into my oldest son’s room and completely dismantled a Lego he had been working on for four days. He has special needs, so you can imagine the fallout when he came home from his dad’s a few days later and discovered what had happened.

That same day, the two oldest kids also drew all over my front door and window with ChapStick. Okay. I’ve talked to my mom and sisters about possibly making the ceremony child-free because I really don’t want to deal with that kind of behavior during our wedding. I don’t want kids talking through the ceremony or running around.

I want everyone’s focus to be on us and the significance of that moment. I honestly don’t mind kids being at the reception aside from wanting them to settle during a few key moments like dances in totes. We also have friends and members of the bridal party who will be bringing their children, so I don’t wanna give the impression that we simply don’t want kids at our wedding.

But that creates another problem. I know my brother and his wife would be deeply offended if they showed up and realized their children were the only ones who weren’t invited. So how do I address this with my brother and his wife without coming across like a complete biotch or making them feel like we don’t want their family there?

 I love them and want them to celebrate us, but I also don’t want to spend my wedding ceremony worrying about whether their kids are going to disrupt it. Woo. Okay, it was hard to not keep stopping and adding stuff in. I know people don’t like when I do that a lot, but, like, there’s so much going on here.

First and foremost, I’m gonna say to this person writing this in that What you are feeling is very normal. I know a lot of people that have similar situations where they’re like, ” I don’t want people to be excluded, but I have this concern about blank,” right? And you think about that, you know.

As your wedding day comes up, you’re like, “Is this gonna go okay?” You know, whether it’s children, wherever there’s alcohol issues, or whether, you know, people are gonna fight, you know, whatever that, looks like for you. it’s difficult especially when you already have families that are planning on bringing their kids, 

Keeping The Peace 

 Let me start by saying you can do whatever you want, but in my mind, you can’t exclude one family. That is going to cause way more issues, I think, and people correct me if I’m wrong. But it’s way easier if you were like, ” Only my siblings’ kids, like, only nieces and nephews are invited to the wedding.

No other kids can come.” But if you are having people in the wedding party and their kids come, and other wedding guests and their kids come, and your brother and his wife come and theirs were the only ones not invited, that would be very offensive. So again, as the bride and groom, you can do whatever you want, but that doesn’t mean you won’t have issues following.

 now going back to what you were saying, When we talk about child-free weddings, it usually is because the parents don’t watch the kids. It’s not because people don’t like kids and not because they’re worried about the kids, it’s because the parents aren’t going to take control over the kids. I just heard rec-someone I know about a similar story where they were at a wedding and kids were acting up, and the parents weren’t doing anything.

So that is where the problem lies, right? So you have to decide what you’re comfortable communicating with your brother. Do you want to tell your brother, ” Here’s my concern for the wedding”? Have you talked to your brother or had to bring it up with your brother in the past about the kids’ behavior? and that can also cross a line for some people because people don’t wanna hear, ” You’re a bad parent”, or people don’t wanna hear, “You’re not watching your kid the right way” Right?

So this is a really difficult situation

I think I would, if I’m just reading this from the outside which obviously I am. I don’t know you personally or know your story personally. You have every right to feel this way but I think if you are debating having their kids be the only ones not invited, you have to have a talk with your brother. I would really sit down with them and say, ” Hey so these are my concerns.”

 our wedding is not a place where kids can be running around or we need a plan for if the kids are acting up And if you’ve already made up your mind like 100% like ‘I don’t want the kids there I would also tell them ahead of time, like there will be other kids. That’s where I think it’s the most complicated ’cause if you did a clean slate no kids at all that’d be way easier to just be like ” Hey we’re not having any kids at our wedding because we decided it was you know not the right time for kids whatever.”

But everyone sees their own kids differently and so if they don’t see that same kind of behavior or they’re just like oh kids are being kids and then they get to the wedding and realize they’re the only family where their kids weren’t invited and they had to find a babysitter and they had to go through all these hoops to try to figure out care for their child , they are gonna be mad.

I don’t know someone that wouldn’t be mad again if I went somewhere where my daughter wasn’t invited but it was like all their family honestly like if I’m just like a friend and my daughter is not invited i’m not going to be offended but if it was like all my nieces and nephews were invited and then my daughter was left out id be like okay thats weird So I think you either need to have an honest conversation with your brother and his wife ahead of time talk about your concerns And be like this is our option

I need you to really make sure that they’re sitting down and quiet or doing like something quiet in their seat Or the other option is they can’t come And I really don’t want to do that because I love them and I care about them and I want them there The problem you can fall into when I know I’m kinda like going around in circles but the problem you can fall into with that Is they’re gonna say yeah No Problem!

Then the day of They’re doing the same things that they always do There on their phone Their Just Putting Them Expecting Other People To Take Care Of Them Which Sounds Like Their Doing By Living With Your Parents Your parents Are Taking Care Of Them Don’t Listen Tooo Your Parents Not Respectful Of Home Now It Says You Also Talked About Just Making Ceremony Child Free

‘ cause you don’t mind kids being at the reception. That might be your easiest bet, is just saying the ceremony’s completely child-free. You either get a room at the venue and have a babysitter kinda watch the kids during, that makes it easier for everybody involved. Like okay, let’s have all the kids in this playroom, let’s put some crafts in there, some things to get like that they can work on or do.

Then have them at the reception. Then you’re not stressed about the ceremony, and then it’s kind of like equal. Maybe just have your own kids at the wedding, and then, leave it. Like I said, I feel like where it’s the hardest say we have friends and members of the bridal party.

So I don’t know if that’s like two different groups, friends and members, that are bringing their children. Now, are they bringing their children because they were invited? Or did they tell you, “We’re bringing our children”? So that’s kind of what you have to decide. Now again, and I know I keep going around in circles, it is ultimately your decision.

You can do it, but I just need you to think about the future events. If they’re gonna feel like you didn’t invite just their kids, they will take it personally. If they are the only family, it’s going to be very clear. Again, if it was, like, your boss’s kids you didn’t invite, that’s completely different.

But I feel like when it’s your own niece and nephew, and they’re the only kids that weren’t invited, and there’s so many other kids there, that would sting. So talking to them about their plan, talking to them about maybe having some concerns. and I would say go child-free ceremony and do something where all the kids can do something together maybe, and then reception as normal.

And I don’t know if they’re gonna agree with me or disagree here, I just feel like you can’t leave out one family. You know, some kids have different needs. I mean, you said, they just don’t listen, and that’s not great, but that’s more … Depending on the age of the kids, right? That’s more on their parents.

So that’s why I feel like you need to have an honest conversation with the parents. It sounds like either way they might be kind of offended, but I think they would be less offended if you talk to them ahead of time and say, ” Hey, these are my concerns.” There’s flowers around that could break. I don’t want their voices on the video recording.

 talk to them about your concerns ahead of time rather than them come to the wedding and realize their kids were the only ones not invited. So I hope that helps. I know it was kind of all over the place, but I feel like we kinda need an even group. If you’re seeing them regularly, you’re close with them, You need to do something where we communicate a little bit with them, and unfortunately it just sounds like there’s not gonna be like…

That sounds so negative. But no one’s gonna be 100% happy, and you wanna be comfortable and happy on your day. So I think the best you can do now is just tell them your concerns and say, I need them to listen. Do they get in trouble? Like when they lash out or they don’t respect your parents’ home or they do certain things, do they get in trouble?

Do you see the parents actually like discipline or say, “No, we don’t do that,” or is kinda just like, whatever, their kids? ‘ Cause that’s something I feel like you can bring to the table and be like, “Hey this is place for like they have to be respectful. They can’t be, you know kicking over flowers” Or, “They can’t drawing on walls.

I have deposit on this place and won’t get money back.” Can you say certain things like that to really emphasize to them this is really important And I think if you say it to them a few times they might understand it a little more. I also think they might be like You know what maybe isn’t the place for our kid Maybe we will go without . Maybe probably not but It very challenging when of all the kind in family ,These are problems right here.”And their parents Not paying attention o them helping them guiding them Is The Problem And it’s gotta be, like, an even playing field.

You can do what you want but at the end of the day if you choose to just pull them out that might cause more of a rift with your brother so talk to him, talk to his wife give some options and just be firm with your boundaries If you ultimately decide no kids at the ceremony, no kids reception stick to it and that’s that I hope that helps And if you have any more details or context you wanna give me let me know I know it was kind of all over the place I kinda work through as I talk All right guys That is The Wedding Dilemma for this week As I mentioned we are gonna highlight some of the previous episodes So stick around for that and I will see you next time

The Divorce Wake-Up Call 

Salma: 20, 25 last year, I basically got this text message from her. And I obviously don’t delete people’s phone numbers off my phone. I know some people have different policies, but I see that and I’m like, I have not talked to this person in now six years ish. Like it was a long time.

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Salma: And so I get that text message and I’m like, nothing could be good. she is not reaching out to me because something good is going on in her life. Mm-hmm.she’s like, can we get on a call? I if you’re too busy, no problem, blah, blah, blah. I was like, no, we can get on a call.

I was nosy. I wanted to know what she was like. Like 

Christa Innis: I need to know. Yes. Gimme the tea. 

Salma: From a purely like maybe selfish perspective, I kind of had to know because I had to take a lot for her to get there. 

Christa Innis: I felt validated that she knew that there was a possibility that I would still leave that door open. that made me feel like kind of good about what I put out there. But then at the same time, I obviously was a little guarded when she called. And so during that phone call I find out that the marriage has been good. they have had these two children at this point. She has tried her very best to do anything and everything to try to stay in the marriage because her parents were still together, her siblings were still with their spouses.

Salma: Like she came from something where I think there was like the shame And so at that point, the divorce had not been filed She just wanted to know what her options were from a purely legal standpoint. I think what troubled me the most is I’m trying to have basic conversations with her about, okay, what are roughly the expenses of the household?

Do you know what roughly he brings in salary wise? And the inability to answer any of those questions with any sort of certainty was really disheartening. how did we end up here where you don’t have any control of the finances and you don’t actually know all the user’s names and passwords on all of the accounts, and you are now put in a position that it is hard to protect what you don’t know.

ultimately in that situation, I told her, look, why do you think that this is leading to divorce? And she just said his behavior I wanna keep trying, but I don’t feel good about it. Ultimately he was the one who filed for divorce against her 

Christa Innis: women need to be involved in the finances or the stay-at-home parent needs to be involved in finances just as much as the working or the out of house, partner because.

Anything can happen, any life altering thing can happen, whether that’s divorce, death, an accident. you never know what that is. I even heard a story that was on the podcast where, a couple they never legally married and the, I think his mom was living with them and he got in a car accident or a motorcycle accident.

So he was in a coma and the mom went and said, well, they’re not legally married. She has no right to see him like blocked him out. So there’s things like that where they never thought that would happen. So of course, as soon as he was back to himself and she was like, we’re getting married, like this is gonna be on paper, it’s legal.

so there’s all those things that people just don’t think about. And so I feel like this is something that people should really, you know, look at ahead of time. So what would you recommend someone listening, like let’s say they’re in a similar situation, like your friend pre. Maybe they are engaged right now and she plans to be a stay at home mom or, what would you say about looking into a prenup or questions to ask yourself?

 before kind of getting to that point. 

Salma: It always tell everybody you need a prenup. I don’t care if you’re just starting out. I don’t care if you don’t have, if you feel like you don’t have a lot of assets.

A Stepmother With An Agenda 

Christa Innis: While at college, he met his future wife. Oh no. I feel like I know where this is going. She came from a very close knit family, and they immediately saw through my stepmother’s behavior.

Ivette Bracken: Mm-hmm. 

Christa Innis: My stepmother told anyone who would listen that she hated this woman. Oh. She’s talking about the future wife. She hated this woman and that she would never be good enough. Ugh. Because she knows she’s not gonna get 100% of his attention anymore. That’s right. She strongly preferred his previous girlfriend and even stayed in touch with her for years.

 again, I’m probably just jumping the gun, but it’s probably because that one bowed down to her and was like, 

Ivette Bracken: yes, yes, absolutely. Really 

Christa Innis: clean. I’m just here. It’s fine. 

Ivette Bracken: Ugh. 

Christa Innis: When the couple got engaged, my stepmother volunteered to host their engagement party and she invited the ex. 

boyfriend 

Ivette Bracken: I knew it. I knew that’s was coming.

 the nerve. How dare you. 

Christa Innis: Even more so. Obviously we don’t know yet. The girlfriend comes, ex-girlfriend. Why would you go to that? I would be like, no, thank you. any normal person would be like, no. 

Ivette Bracken: do you not love your son? Like, don’t you want it to be a good experience for him? I can’t. I can’t.

My heart just sank. I just feel like all of my own insecurities came up for myself and I would feel so small, even just knowing that my mother-in-law invited my now husband’s ex to anything. 

Christa Innis: She now made it Her party. The stepmother made it her party and made you just like a wall, like you’re basically just like a side there because she made it so you weren’t comfortable in her home, Then the cake was brought out. Oh no. Oh no. I just read a hug. Then the cake was brought out. It had the ex-girlfriend’s name on it, not the fiance’s. So she is literally trying to sabotage their whole thing. 

Ivette Bracken:  when you said cake, that’s what I thought, but I was like, there’s no way.

There’s no way. But 

Christa Innis: are you kidding? That is wild. I am reading it As an outsider person, but the second I knew if someone I knew that hated me was offering to host my party immediately, no. Immediately, no. ’cause they don’t have your best interest. They are not gonna think about you and your partner, they’re gonna think about ways to sabotage you in the wedding.

Ivette Bracken: Yes. 

Christa Innis: So I would be saying no to that. I’m not going to that party. There’s no way 

Ivette Bracken: And at the same time, I wanna give the bride like this. Maybe she was kind of trying to be the bigger person and give her that benefit of the doubt and it totally backfired. You know what I mean?

Christa Innis:  

Ivette Bracken: That’s horrible. 

Christa Innis: Ugh. the person that wrote this story in, it’s her stepmother. Then it’s like her son. Okay, 

Ivette Bracken: so she was there. She’s like, 

Christa Innis: they’re seeing it yes. And so I’m guessing, well, maybe that’s why. So her dad is the one that divorced now, so she’s.

Single as the wedding approached, she repeatedly tried to convince her son not to marry his fiance. She threatened not to attend the wedding and even offered to pay for an entirely different wedding if he would change his mind. She pulled in anyone she could to try to persuade him otherwise. even telling him that his grandmother was distraught hated the fiance.

 someone goes low, if they wanna bring everyone down with them. They can’t stand to see people happy or the people’s like proud or on another side. 

Ivette Bracken: No. 

Christa Innis: The wedding eventually took place, though she was clearly upset about it. The newly married couple left for their honeymoon in Hawaii early the next morning.

That same day, the grandmother passed away in her sleep. She had a history of heart problems. My stepmother immediately began telling everyone that the grandmother died of a broken heart because her grandson had gone through with the marriage. 

Ivette Bracken: Wait, 

Christa Innis: a put that on your son, right?

 who is this woman? Send me your details. Like, I can’t believe her. That is horrible. Like,

When Love Comes With Strings

At first they dotted the baby, my husband and me. But over time I started noticing that they equated money and gifts with love and expected to control all of us. Oh. Once I started standing up for myself, things changed. For example, when our daughter was four months old, they tried to feed her chocolate cake.

I told them no. Oh my gosh. Here, just eat this chocolate cake. Okay. They went behind my back and did it anyway. 

Ugh. feeding a child something when the parents say no at any age, but especially that age where it can be very harmful. 

Shawna Lander: Yeah. Oh my gosh. 

Christa Innis: Wild. 

Shawna Lander: Wild. 

Christa Innis: They’re not realizing how dangerous it could be for the baby that young, like they’re not even eating.

They’re starting to eat maybe some solid foods at that point. Right, and like, 

Shawna Lander: yeah, rice cereal. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Shawna Lander: Terrible. 

Christa Innis: They also shamed me for breastfeeding because it made them uncomfortable. 

Shawna Lander: Yeah, that’s just dumb. that’s just stupid. That’s just stupid. 

Christa Innis: Like, come 

Shawna Lander: on. 

Christa Innis: I’m sorry. Why don’t you leave the room then if it makes you sound, oh 

Shawna Lander: yeah.

That’s kind of like consider the source, You can’t even be offended at by that, because that’s just so stupid. That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. Literally insisted that for the formula was good enough after many more incidents where I refused to just bend to their will, they escalated things.

They tried to convince my husband that I was cheating on him simply because I had male friends Who does that? Also they never think forward, like what happens after that? if they actually convince the husband. So you want him to be like divorced? 

Shawna Lander: Yeah. 

Christa Innis: What is that? divorce. 

Shawna Lander: It’s not like she goes away.

Like they have to still manage the child together. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. they don’t think about how that’s gonna actually affect them and their relationship. 

Shawna Lander: Yeah. It makes everything much more contentious. What? I can’t fathom this 

Christa Innis: wild, even though those men had been our mutual friends for years, they also accuse me of relapsing and using drugs again.

I’m about to celebrate 11 years clean next month, 2025. I got sober in 2014 so I could build a life with my husband. Good on you. Yay. These accusations were made in 2018, so she was four years sober already. And they’re saying she relapsed. Like what a wild thing to say and like so incredibly hurtful.

Shawna Lander: Yeah, so hurtful. 

Christa Innis: They even told him they had driven by my workplace and that I wasn’t there. Why is that whole life mission to like, I 

Shawna Lander: dunno, it’s so weird. They do not like her. 

Christa Innis: No. That’s where you have to cut those ties. he has to be like, I’m choosing you and forget them because that’s just after one of those things alone, I’d be like, okay, I can’t.

Shawna Lander:  go back toward the beginning. they went to their house for the wedding weekend and she woke up early and was being loud. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. So the stepmom. 

Shawna Lander: Stepmom 

Christa Innis: was extremely loud. Woke us up early one morning talking loud in the house. She saw me awake. She said, wow, you’re up.

And I replied calmly and smiling. Yep. I heard you wake up kind of just being like, oh yeah, I heard you. And the stepmom was 

Shawna Lander: okay. So that was like a sarcastic comment. She 

Christa Innis: was like, yeah, I think that was her being like, oh, you’re talking back to me or You’re not respecting me or something. 

 so they even told him they driven by my workplace and that I wasn’t there despite the fact that I was absolutely there and my job required fingerprint login. So it was easy to prove 

Shawna Lander: she’s got an alibi. 

Christa Innis: Yes. Then things became truly disturbing. They tried convincing my husband to abduct our daughter.

Okay, this is wild. They really don’t like her.

The Mother-In-Law From Hell 

My future mother-in-law, we’ll call her Diane, has been a headache for a long time. She’s standoffish, but puts on a nice face around others. She has never liked me. When my fiance, Jake, told her he planned to propose, she cried and said I was stealing him away from her.”

Oh, God, the famous- Oh, 

Lauren Lowder: gag me. 

Christa Innis: Ugh. ” We took her, her to look at wedding venues one day.” See, someone like that, that I knew didn’t like me, I would never bring them along. I’d be like- Why 

Lauren Lowder: is she included? 

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Lauren Lowder: Why is she included? If 

Christa Innis: you don’t like me, you don’t get to support me or be a part of this. Sorry. 

Lauren Lowder: No.

Christa Innis: ” She constantly criticized my dream venue. At the second venue, when we jokingly did an exaggerated waltz after being shown the dance floor, she scolded us. After that day, we stopped including her in planning. That was just the beginning- Okay … almost two years ago. In all that time, she has barely asked about the wedding unless it was about herself, her dress, her hair, her makeup, or her schedule.

Now we’re three weeks out from the wedding. She was dog sitting for us and saw the seating chart I spent hours making.” Oh, 

Lauren Lowder: no. Here we go. The dreaded seating chart. 

Christa Innis: Yes. Sh- I could just picture her, okay, moving here, like, moving these all around. 

Lauren Lowder: Oh, God. “

Christa Innis: Her immediate reaction was to panic and call Jake demanding he make me redo it because she didn’t like her table.”

Ugh. “When he said no, she said horrible things, threatening not to dog sit again, saying he should be ashamed, and that he’s not the son she raised.” I can, like, picture- Mm … this woman, ugh. 

Lauren Lowder: Yeah. Oh, I know exactly what she looks like, yeah. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. ” And that she would keep up appearances until the wedding, but be done with him afterward,” over a seating chart.

That’s 

Lauren Lowder: w- Disowning your kid for where you’re sitting at their wedding is psychotic, lady. you’re lucky you’re even invited. Jesus. 

Christa Innis: She needs to be studied. Like, this- 

Lauren Lowder: Well, I mean, 

Christa Innis:  and I’ve had, like, therapists on before with similar stories, and they’re like, it’s that enmeshment where they feel like- Yes

their son is, literally, like, an- a limb. They will do as I say.” An 

Lauren Lowder: extension of them, yes. 

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yep. 

Lauren Lowder: Yes. 

Christa Innis: And they can’t separate- Um … that they’re their own person. 

Lauren Lowder: No. 

Christa Innis: It’s, like, scary. after hearing that, I decided to text her. Oh, no, girl. 

Lauren Lowder: Oh, no, that’s not good.

Not good. Yeah. 

Christa Innis: Not good. I had already asked my mom and my maid of honor for advice on how to handle it, hoping to resolve things quickly and calmly. Here’s how the conversation went. Me: ” Hi, Diane. Jake let me know you’re upset about the seating arrangements. I’m really sorry to hear that because I put a lot of time and care into both the layout and the chart itself.

We combined tables because Jake really values how well both families get along and wanted to feel like one big family. I made sure certain relatives were seated together and thought others would enjoy sitting with people they don’t see often. Jake and I reviewed everything together before finalizing it.

I’m disappointed this has become such an issue, and I hope everyone can still enjoy the wedding and their time together.” Okay, fair enough. That’s nice. I also 

Lauren Lowder: am 

Christa Innis: like- Mm-hmm … why overexplain yourself to someone like this? Like, she’s obviously not gonna- 

Lauren Lowder: Don’t. Someone has no boundaries will only continue to show that they have no boundaries the more you explain.

by Christa Innis

Vegas Vows, MIL Meltdown, and Uninvited Guests with Saron Olkaba REPLAY

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

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This is a REPLAY of one of our favorite episodes! What happens when a mother-in-law hijacks your wedding and makes it all about her? Absolute mayhem. 

This week on Here Comes the Drama, we dive into one of the most outrageous MIL meltdowns ever. From insisting on a 500-guest wedding to uninviting the bride from a wedding dinner, this story is a rollercoaster of entitlement, manipulation, and jaw-dropping audacity.

Saron Olkaba, a pop culture commentator, reality TV aficionado, and queen of hot takes joins Christa for a brutally honest take on wedding chaos, pop culture madness, and why cash bars should be banned. They’re spilling all the drama—from surprise proposals gone horribly wrong to the great debate on whether kids should even be at weddings.

Trust us, you don’t want to miss this one. If you love wedding scandals, unfiltered opinions, and stories that will make you gasp, this episode is for you!

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month! 

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • A bride shares how her MIL tried to double the guest list, uninvited her from a wedding dinner, and threw a fit over boundaries.
  • Should you ever make guests pay for drinks?
  • Should we retire the bouquet and garter toss tradition?
  • A best man ambushes a wedding toast with a proposal—without asking the couple!
  • Kids at weddings: Are they cute guests or chaotic distractions?
  • When the groom actually attended a wedding-related event that excluded his bride…
  • MIL’s final meltdown: Blocking, crying, and dramatic exits—this wedding story escalates to a shocking ending.
  • Will the couple cut ties for good? Should this bride run before it’s too late?

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  •  ”If you can’t be away from your kids, just don’t come, it’s fine.” – Saron Olkaba
  •  ”Some hills are not worth dying on and others are. You just have to trust your gut.” – Saron Olkaba
  • “Cash bars, certainly, never, it’s never okay under any circumstance. That’s a huge problem.” – Saron Olkaba
  • “Be creative. You don’t have to shove yourself into this box.” – Saron Olkaba
  • “ Let’s not surprise a bride and groom on their wedding day.” – Christa Innis

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

About Saron

Saron Olkaba is a pop culture content creator known for her sharp commentary on celebrity news, reality TV, and trending topics. By blending humor, insight, and real talk, she delivers engaging takes on everything from viral scandals to entertainment industry moments.

With a background in political consulting, Saron brings a unique perspective to the digital space, proving that smart women can love pop culture too.

You can find her sharing the latest buzz on TikTok and Instagram (@saronthings), and stay tuned for her upcoming YouTube series featuring deep dives into the hottest topics in media.

Follow Saron Olkaba

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Well, hello. Thank you for coming on. 

Saron Olkaba: Thank you for having me. I’m thrilled to be here. 

Christa Innis: I’m so excited. I was saying before we started, I feel like I know you from watching, all your videos and your hot takes. I mean, you talk a lot about things in the media, I mean, right now it’s like Justin Valdoni and, I was gonna say Serena Van Der Woodsen.

Oh my gosh, aging. I haven’t watched Gossip Girl in so long. Blake Lively, totally a brain fart right there. 

Saron Olkaba: Could not even think of the thing that people say about her, is that she plays the same person in every character she plays. So, like, Serena Van Der Woodsen and Blake Lively, kind of interchangeable.

Christa Innis: It’s fine. I do get a lot of news from you. I’m like, okay, when I see your video, I’m like, okay, I need to see what’s going on in the news. TikTok brings us all the good stuff we want to hear about.

Can you just tell everyone a little bit about yourself, what you do? and then we’ll kind of get into these crazy hot takes.

Getting to Know Saron Olkaba

Saron Olkaba: Yeah. So I make pop culture content on Instagram and TikTok. It’s content about like the zeitgeist things that are going on in the media, celebrity gossip. I think that, like most of my viewers and followers, are women. And I like to think that women contain multitudes, right? Like, I’m a political consultant in my nine to five day job, but, I also am obsessed with all things pop culture, and, you, Bravo and similar things. So I like to say that smart women Love this kind of sh*t as well. So I like to take it from a kind of Look at these things kind of from a higher level. I like to be fact based, but I also like to talk sh*t So it’s a fun little community.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I love it. I feel like it’s just a great Real Housewives, that kind of stuff, it’s great to just turn your head off, do your mind off, and just, watch some trash TV.

I haven’t watched Real Housewives in so long, like, that kind, but I was a big, like, New Jersey girl all the way. Loved watching it. So good. 

Saron Olkaba: You have to, if you’re gonna watch the Housewives, Salt Lake City. Just watch that one. I urge you. To watch Salt Lake City. There are only five seasons. It’s immaculate. It’s horrifying. It’s. incredible, just please.

Christa Innis: Okay. I didn’t even know there was one. So I got to jump back in. I kind of like to hop around when it comes to reality TV. I was in bachelor nation for a little while. I wasn’t in it. I watched it.

Saron Olkaba: I missed

Christa Innis: Oh, yeah. No, definitely not. and then I would watch Bachelor in Paradise and I was like, I don’t know.

It’s all the same. Like I can’t get into it. So I like reality more. Like what’s going to happen is who’s going to fight with who? Right stuff. 

Saron Olkaba: Yeah, I really got into The Bachelor because I feel like none of the couples really make it. So we’re just doing the same thing over again. We know how it is, they’re going to, they might be with each other for a little bit and then they break up or there’s two happy endings and 30 seasons. So, yes.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And it’s funny. I don’t know if you saw,, and by the time this comes out, this will probably be old news, but. Alex Cooper interviewed, I don’t even know if you know who Rachel Kirkholm is. Yeah, and they were one of the couples I was like, they’re holding on strong. They always presented themselves as happy.

And you see that and you’re just like, it was all a lie.

Saron Olkaba: Well, I think a lot of people are saying that he was just never gonna marry her if he didn’t want to get engaged at the end of this process where the end goal is to get engaged. What would make you think in the next four years something would change? So I’m excited to listen to that interview too.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I was listening to it last night, part of it and I was like, Oh my gosh, is she got her like quick. Let’s talk about it. So one of the reasons I was like, you would be perfect to have you come on this podcast is because you have so many great hot takes and I feel like just with these crazy, wedding stories, I get, um, proposal, engagement, all that stuff.

I was like, I need someone with some good opinions and we can just kind of banter through some stuff. So the first kind of category is crazy stories and wedding hot takes. So I have some different hot takes that people send me. And so I want to get your opinion on these. So what is one wedding trend or something that you’ve seen at weddings that you either absolutely include or you despise seeing? 

Cash Bars, Garter Tosses, and Other Wedding Debates

Saron Olkaba: Cash bar, certainly, never, it’s never okay under any circumstance. That’s a huge problem. That’s a huge problem. Even if you don’t drink. Oh, alcohol free weddings. Even if you are sober, you got to provide, got to provide a drink or two and you can’t make people pay for it. I think it’s like the tackiest thing in the world. Period.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. I love it. I love it. No, I love it. I think it’s great. me personally. I agree. I feel like you need to have. Something there. I remember one time this actually just came to me. We’re talking about crazy stories. we’re at a wedding and it started off as a semi-open bar. So I think certain things were selected. It was fine. But then they switched to a cash bar without telling people and it was like people were getting their drinks. My now husband and I were up at the bar and he ordered drinks for us. And they were like, Okay, it’s this total. And he’s like, Oh, I thought this was open. Like, we didn’t have our wallets on us or anything.

And they’re like, No, switched to cash at 8 p.m. It was the weirdest thing. I would have said, Oh, I thought this was a wedding. Yeah,

I was like, Wait, this is weird. So then he ended up getting his wallet, buying the drinks. Then we left our drinks on the dance floor while we were dancing, and they cleared everyone’s drinks off the table.

So we’re like, they switched to a cash bar mid wedding, but didn’t announce it. And then we’re clearing the drinks off the tables when people are dancing. Oh no,

Saron Olkaba: That is absolutely unacceptable. Absolutely. You’re like providing an experience. People are coming out of their way to celebrate you.

They’re probably giving you a present. They might have flown out here. It’s not a paid experience. There’s already enough investment being involved in a wedding, just going to a wedding, doing all the events around a wedding. No, give them a good time if you’re gonna do it.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I totally agree with that. So, what are your thoughts on the bouquet and garter toss, because this is one of the ones I always ask Instagram followers, and this is like the one that comes up all the time to get rid of it, stop doing it. It’s weird. It’s gross. So what is your take on it?

Saron Olkaba: Yes to the bouquet, no to the garter. The garter is when the guy goes literally under her dress. That is a horror, that’s not okay. I can’t imagine. I feel like I’m at the wedding. My dad’s here, that’s so insane, no, please.

That’s not. I don’t feel particularly passionate about the bouquet as passionately as I feel about the garter knot, which should not be a thing, it’s fun, but I hope no one actually thinks that it means that you’re gonna be the one to get married next.

Christa Innis: I. Literally have been to so many weddings where the women get vicious and they like to push you. I’m like, we know we’re not actually the next one. Like it’s going to be okay. I’ve seen the videos too where they like literally push all the way and I’m like, it’s not that serious.

Saron Olkaba: Like full on shove her to the ground. 

Christa Innis: No, not for me.

Saron Olkaba: Not for me at all. And then there’s the like, you throw the bouquet and then someone catches it or like she hands it to the woman so that she can get proposed to. That’s my list of no’s as well. proposals at the wedding.

Christa Innis: Yes, I’m so glad you brought that up because someone shared a confession with me last week saying at her wedding, the best man during his speech proposed to his girlfriend, who was also a bridesmaid.

And I was like, no one knew? The bride and groom didn’t know that was gonna happen? No one knew. She said she was mortified. Security. Security. Yeah, out of here. I was like, I need to know more. I messaged her and I was like, can you tell me more? And so she said they ended up pulling him away and being like, this is not okay.

And they didn’t understand why. But then he still came back, put the ring on her finger. She hugged him and said yes. In front of everybody. She’s walking around the dance floor showing off her ring. She’s like, yeah. I can’t even believe this happened. And she’s like, I always watched your crazy wedding stories thinking it would never happen to me.

And that happened. Were there any signs that this man was a psychopath prior to? They said they’ve been friends with him for a long time. And I, I don’t know. I don’t realize how Weird and rude that is.

Saron Olkaba: No, it’s so tacky. No.

Christa Innis: Absolutely not.

Saron Olkaba: Unless, you know, the bride is in on it. And I’ve seen videos where the bride is full on team, get proposed throughout my wedding, like here’s the bouquet, turn around, I was like, yay. And do you, God bless you. That’s incredible. right. Couldn’t be me, but incredible nonetheless.

Christa Innis: Right. 

Saron Olkaba: So that’s fine.

Christa Innis: Yeah. There’s a lot of steps you should take before making sure that’s okay. Like no surprise. Let’s not surprise a bride and groom on their wedding day.

Saron Olkaba:  Right? No.

Christa Innis: Okay. So these are just some fun, like picking a side on these wedding drama debates. These are other unpopular opinions that people sent me.

So this person said having kids at the reception is a good thing and they should come and feel welcome. What’s your take on kids at weddings?

 

Saron Olkaba: I think that just likeA declarative sentence, having kids at a wedding is a good thing, like, by what measure, you if the bride and groom feel like it’s going to be a safe experience for them and whatever, sure, but if they want to party and not have to worry about some kid getting trampled on the dance floor, that’s completely up to them, and you should absolutely respect it, It’s not up to you, so, I don’t understand why people get so upset about it, it’s a big deal for them, it’s the one event where they’re allowed to kind of do this, if you can’t be away from your kids, just don’t come, it’s fine, just RSVP, no, yeah.

Christa Innis:  I know, that’s why I’m like, when people get so upset about it, I’m like, if you can’t go, just say no, wouldn’t be offended. Either way, I’m like, now that I have a toddler, I get it. If people do not want a toddler, day, night, either for me, or if we can’t get a babysitter, I will say no, because I would not want to.

A toddler there. Like, I get it. it’s just like, when people get so mad about it, I’m like, I don’t understand the philosophy.

Saron Olkaba: That being said, I told you I was engaged once and I almost got married. It was like a couple of months out from the wedding when it was cancelled.

But, having said that, I’m more than okay with child free weddings. We had set up child care for the people that were going to come and babysitters. And there was a difference, they were in a completely different place with their home. They would have been with their own food and their own people watching them.

And their parents could have gone back and forth to see whatever. So, If you’re going to have kids at your wedding, I think that’s a nice way to do it.

Christa Innis: I love that. I’ve been hearing that more and more. People have a separate area, a fun room for kids, or fun things, yeah. Padded walls. Exactly, yeah. Blocked, because that’s the thing. It’s like the biggest thing I think with kids at a wedding is, it’s the parents that aren’t watching the kids, or like, they’re at a certain age where they can get into anything. Like, I know if I bring my toddler somewhere, like, they’re, she’s gonna figure out a way to try to do something.

And so, like, there’s certain ages, too, where it’s like, you have to either be on them the whole time, or you can’t enjoy yourself. So, I feel like the extra room is great. Like, we had just, like, our nieces and nephews at our wedding, which was, like, so great. seven kids. And we, but we were provided with coloring stuff.

We had their own kids table. Plus we knew them well enough to where like, okay, we know they’re going to be well behaved there.

Saron Olkaba: So you said only like, I think that that’s perfectly fair as well. If you’re just like only the children that are related to us can come, like, and if people make a stink about not being able to bring their kids because, Oh, like, why can they come then? You know?

Christa Innis: Yeah. Sucks to suck. I know, because that’s something I hear too. They’re like, oh, but if you say no to my kids and I come and your nieces and nephews are there, I’ll be so mad. It’s like, you’re gonna be mad that like the bride’s niece is there versus like a co-worker’s son or something like that. I’m like, that’s so different.

Saron Olkaba: The entire drama is wild.

Christa Innis: They just don’t come. It’s fun. It is so wild. This person said, White bridesmaid dresses are weird.

Saron Olkaba: If the bride likes it, I love it. I’m not judging someone’s, like, aesthetic choices in, like, that sense. If the bridesmaid dresses are, like, stunning, gorgeous white, as long as they look good, I don’t care.

I mean, and, I don’t know if you’ve watched, like, Selling Sunset, Christine Quinn. She had, like, this black ball gown wedding dress. Oh, I did! Right? And so like, is it my style? No, but like, I don’t know. It’s 2025. We’ve been doing weddings for a long time. Like, let’s, I don’t know, let’s mix it up.

Christa Innis: I love, yeah, I love when people do like unique, crazy stuff.

I love when the bridesmaids all wear white dresses along with the bride. I think it looks pretty. But I saw this bride that had a dress that turned into a rainbow and like, like, she unbuttoned it and it turned into this rainbow dress. And I was like, that is beautiful. That’s stunning. That’s something I never would have thought of.

Yeah. Like, you go, girl.

Saron Olkaba: Be creative. You don’t have to, like, shove yourself into this box. Like, as long I mean, if you want to As long as you’re getting married at the end of it, that’s the end goal. Just like throw the party you want to throw and invite the people you want to invite. Like you’re spending a lot of money on this sh*t.

Have a good day, do whatever you want to do. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Do you black out all the haters? Pluck out the naysayers, provide

Saron Olkaba: booze, but provide,

Christa Innis: provide booze. Yeah. Provide some good entertainment. Good DJ. Yeah. Okay. Let’s jump into. This week’s story. It’s a long one. That’s all I can do. I have not read it. Just the beginning starts with the monster in law.

So it’s about to get kind of crazy.

Saron Olkaba: I love monster in law stories. 

 

 

 

Monster-in-Law Alert: Wedding Drama at Its Worst

Christa Innis: It’s insane. I read these and I feel so grateful that I have a great mother-in-law. I reason I’m just like, these are insane. okay, so feel free to stop me at any point. And then I’ll kind of just pause and we can kind of just react as we go.

okay. I’ve been holding my tongue for a long while, but I’m angry all the time and I needed to get this off my chest. So who better than to tell you? Hopefully this will give some content, um, because I honestly don’t know what else to do about my monster in law. I got engaged in July 2024, and from the moment we announced it, my future mother-in-law started bombarding us with questions about the wedding.

She asked when it would be, how many people we were thinking of inviting. I told her around 250 guests and she immediately said, no, it should be 500, 500. Holy cow. Um, Right. I’m like, that’s the thing, too, is like you find the ones that are so opinionated are not even giving any money a lot of times.

Saron Olkaba: I would think that would be obvious, like, you can’t say you can double the wedding if you’re not paying for the wedding.

That’s insane. Okay, continue. Yeah.

Christa Innis: No, I agree. Um, I calmly explained that we only wanted people we were close to, family or not. I also mentioned it would be a kid-free wedding except for nieces and nephews. There we go. She lost it and started a fight. Okay, a few weeks later the topic came up again, and I mentioned we were planning a sober wedding since my fiance is two years sober. He’s like covering all the things we just talked about.

Saron Olkaba: I swear we did not cover

Christa Innis: Literally, I don’t even put these together because I don’t want to read them ahead of time, so I did not even know. My mother-in-law and future sister in law laughed and said it was fine. But my fiance would need to leave the reception because they would be drinking. Wait, but isn’t this his mom and sister?

Saron Olkaba: Why would they want your fiance? The groom would be leaving his own reception to drink elsewhere apart from the

Christa Innis: what? And this is confusing because I’m like, it’s the mother-in-law, you would think she would be not wanting to like you think she’d be up against the bride, but not the groom because the groom’s her son, right?

Saron Olkaba: I think that she’s probably positioning this as oh, he wants to have a good time and drink so he can’t stay at a dry reception all night. Like we got to go to the bar or some Insanity like that. I don’t know. Please. I can’t wait to go.

Christa Innis: What? Oh my gosh. Okay. Um, That is crazy. Okay. Eventually my fiance and I decided to get married in Las Vegas to avoid all the drama.

We kept the guest list to immediate family and one friend each because the venue could only hold 50 people. We thought this would make things easier. It didn’t. Oh yeah, someone like that’s going to come right in being like, You didn’t invite me.

Saron Olkaba: Continue. There’s no winning. Okay.

Christa Innis: Yeah, this is like two weeks before the wedding. Okay, so they still were going to have this big wedding. They just did like an elopement, just the two of them. So two weeks before the wedding, my mother in law started talking about my fiancé’s dad’s nephew. I’m like, fiancé’s dad’s nephew, okay?

Um, come back. Yeah. Oh yeah. I’m like, drawing a tree in my head. I’m like, where did this go? Um, I never met this nephew. In the 12 years I’d known my fiancé, I told her the guest list was set, and there was no room. She said that was fine, and he could just enjoy it, he could just join us afterwards. I agreed.

Five days before the wedding, my fiancé got a text from his sister in law, oh, from his sister. Inviting him to dinner. He asked if I was welcome and she said, no, family only. That’s weird. His mom chimed in, doubling down saying only immediate family. She cannot come. Okay. Don’t you think like a fiance kind of becomes that?

Okay, this was a dinner to celebrate my fiance getting married and I wasn’t invited what

Saron Olkaba: getting married

Christa Innis: to you and they didn’t want you to come. Okay, he went while I stayed home and then he went. See

Saron Olkaba: girl, this is why you can’t, I already know how I feel. You can’t marry this man. This is a crazy situation.

Don’t, you’re asking for misery for the rest of your f*cking life. Yes. Who will not, who will go to a wedding, a party about a wedding that you are the bride in, that you are not invited to. He said, chill, bet, like this sounds normal to me. This is how you want to start our union? This is insane. You can’t, you can’t do this.

You can’t marry this. No,

Christa Innis: I am. Yeah. What? I am shocked. Why would he go without you? That would be like a no for me. That would be like, sorry. Like, you, you’re choosing your immediate family, who, your fiance, new wife, should be your immediate family. No.

Saron Olkaba: Marry your sister then. Marry your mom. What?

Christa Innis: Okay, five, Okay, later, okay, so he went, while I stayed at home, later my mother-in-law made a Facebook post congratulating him and tagged me in it, which this is important later, she says.

The day before we left for Vegas, my mother-in-law asked me to lunch. Even though I had so much to do, I agreed. At lunch, she told me my fiancé’s little brother had invited a friend to the wedding. I corrected her, saying he asked Wait saying he asked but we said no. Okay, so that little brother had already asked them and she said no She replied.

Well, he invited her weeks ago, and I said it was fine. It’s too late to uninvite her now

Saron Olkaba: It’s not even too late to uninvite you b*tch. Okay, so what do you mean? It’s too late to uninvite her

Christa Innis: Like what is this controlling behavior? Like I’m already so like Angry for this person because I’m like he your fiance is not even on your side.

Saron Olkaba: I’m sweating. Okay,

Christa Innis: this is bad Yeah, I feel like hot

Okay, I was furious but decided to talk to my fiance first when I told him he immediately texted his mom explaining It was disrespectful to invite someone without asking us that she needed to tell the friend he couldn’t come This sparked a meltdown. My future sister in law started calling and yelling at him, but he stood by me, okay, finally, saying no one else was getting a plus one.

When we arrived in Vegas, my mother-in-law asked again, Okay, so the wedding in Vegas is where the mother-in-law’s coming?

Saron Olkaba: Did I? She’s coming to both. Okay. They did the wedding in Vegas first because they thought it would placate her. And they invited only the immediate family from both sides, right? But they’re still having this big wedding.

Okay. They thought it would shut her up to do the first thing.

Christa Innis: To do her own thing. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. Because I’m like There’s so much happening. Yeah, you’ve got me. Okay. When we arrived in Vegas, my mother in law asked again if the nephew could come to the wedding because he was already there. I reminded her there was no room and my fiancé backed me up.

On the wedding day, I went to brunch with girls from both sides of the family. My mother in law ignored me completely. Even when I greeted her, I brushed it off and enjoyed the day. This mother in law hates her. Like, this is, I would be like, you are, you can’t come. This is terrible. Like, why would you want to feel like a stranger or unwanted at your own wedding?

Like,

Saron Olkaba: I don’t, I’m like, you can’t have this. She just has the worst energy. She’s just gonna, she’s gonna try and ruin your day. Why would you, no, I would hire security, give them a picture and That would be it.

Christa Innis: Yeah, because it’s not her right to be at this wedding.

Saron Olkaba: Like,

Christa Innis: I’d be like You’re, you’re done. Sorry.

I don’t want you there. She’s a guest. She’s a guest. Yeah, you are nothing more than a guest who could easily be scratched right off. Um, at this ceremony, my sisters told me that my fiancé’s family had taken up the front rows on both sides of the pews. My mother in law refused to move, saying her parents can find another place to sit.

No, so now she’s rude to, like, her family.

Saron Olkaba: I, I’m, I, okay, like this would not be, go well

Christa Innis: for me, or, or, like, I, cause now you’re gonna be, like you said, you’re gonna be dealing with this mother in law for the rest of your life. Like, if it’s bad now, imagine like, if they have kids, or if they buy a house, you know, any step in there,

Saron Olkaba: I don’t understand why someone would, why anyone would sign up to deal with that forever.

Like, mm hmm. You’re asking to be miserable for the rest of you, what man is worth that? What man is worth having to deal with the devil day, no.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I really hope this ends with like, they cut her off. Like, they’re done with her, I hope. Fingers crossed. Uh, cause that’s like the only way this is gonna work, I feel like.

Um, okay. So she said she had to move. I had to ask the officiant to step in and remind everyone which side was for the bride’s family and which for the groom’s. This made my mother in law furious. After the ceremony, during photos, the photographer suggested moving one of my fiancé’s siblings to my side to even things out.

My sister in law loudly said, Hell no, I’m not going over there. I ignored it. At the bowling alley reception, my mother in law asked, “Who are these animals? Who

Saron Olkaba: are these beasts?

Christa Innis: I don’t know, why do they think they’re so much better than, like, her and her family? Oh, God. Jesus. It’s like I’m speechless. This is probably one of the worst mother in law stories I’ve read.

And I’ve read a lot. At the bowling alley reception, my mother in law refused to sign the guest book, despite me and my husband asking multiple times. When she finally did, she just wrote congratulations with no warmth, and she left without saying goodbye.

Saron Olkaba: Like why? That’s the nicest thing she’s done thus far.

That’s the most pleasant she’s been in this whole story.

Christa Innis: Yeah. The next day, my mom invited us to lunch before she left town. My mother in law didn’t contact us, but took my brother, my husband’s brothers to go go karting and sightseeing instead. When my husband asked why we weren’t invited, she said, you were busy.

We weren’t. Two days later, I made a Facebook post about the wedding and saw that my mother in law had untagged me from her earlier post. When my husband asked why, she said, it was a post only for you.

Saron Olkaba: Ew. Do you wanna f*ck your son? Like, what is going on here? Why? I’m sorry, can I, can I curse here? Yeah, you’re fine.

Christa Innis: A little late to ask that question, but. Redo! No. Yeah, it’ll be fine. I don’t know. That is, um, yeah, why? Like why? I don’t get these mothers-in-law that hate their daughters-in-law so much that they’re, that they have no, they don’t care like what they say, like, I don’t, like no one’s good enough for their son.

I don’t, I don’t know what it is.

Saron Olkaba: It’s an enmeshment. I think that’s the word. Or like, what is that, um, no, it’s emotionally incest, even worse. Yes. No, that’s creepy as hell. Right.

Christa Innis: There was this skit, I don’t know if you watch SNL. There was the, did you see, um, oh, who hosted the Timothee Chalamet one? No, I haven’t seen it.

This last weekend? Okay, you have to watch it, but there’s one about that, but it’s extreme, like the Oedipus Complex. It’s about like Mother’s Day and like the sun being like, hey mom. I don’t know, it’s like. I,

Saron Olkaba: I’m horrified that I’m going to be looking this up just immediately after we get off this.

You need to.

Christa Innis: It was like a cringe, but I was like. It’s like way over the top, but it was like some of these moms, yeah, I could see it. I find

Saron Olkaba: It’s like, once you meet this psycho mom, mother in law, right? How, and you see that this man sees nothing wrong with their relationship and kind of encourages it and won’t ask her.

How are you still attracted to this man that might want to f*ck his mom? Like, I, how do you not, how do you not get the ick immediately and run away from, like, self preservation?

Christa Innis: Yeah, like, cause this is, my thing is, this is not the first time something like this has happened. She had given signs before they got engaged, or when they first met, like, I’m thinking, like, first dinner at a parent’s house.

Every girlfriend

Saron Olkaba: had a book before

Christa Innis: him, before her. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, like, what were the signs before? Yeah, because it wasn’t like, oh, they’re engaged now, they’re serious, now my real, like, craziness is gonna come out. Like, I feel like she had to have treated her poorly before this.

Saron Olkaba: Right. And the sister in law is also a b*tch as well.

Christa Innis: Yeah, what’s the deal with that? Okay, three days after the wedding, she texted my husband saying she wanted to talk about my behavior at the wedding. What? He told her he wouldn’t have that conversation without me there, and she refused. A few days later, she blocked me on social media and deleted my husband?

So what her behavior was like having boundaries and like, No, expecting her

Saron Olkaba: parents to be able to sit in the front row. Yeah. And not allowing some, uh, the friend of a co-worker of her neighbor’s nephew to come last minute. Those were the things. Right. Those were the things.

Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s, it’s. Those are really harsh to have.

I mean, maybe blocking on social media and deleting the husband is like the best thing, because then you guys can’t see her on social media. I wouldn’t have said a thing

Saron Olkaba: about that.

Christa Innis: I would have

Saron Olkaba: said,

Christa Innis: great. I’m like, awesome. Yeah, you saved it. Saved, saved me from doing it. When I tried reaching out, she called my husband crying.

Here we go. The victim said she’d been crying every day because of how I treated her. When he defended me like a good, she hung up because she realized he was gone. He is not, he’s not backing you up anymore, crazy mom. He is now

Saron Olkaba: someone else’s husband. Not yours.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Not yours. Finally, my husband texted her saying she had two options.

Have a conversation or lose him. She replied, I guess I won’t be seeing you anymore then. I mean, I would say hallelujah.

Saron Olkaba: I would be like, I’m so sorry, babe. Yeah. It’ll be like, we’ll, we’ll get this. It’s just trying to keep my face straight. Okay.

Christa Innis: I know. I feel like the petty in me, I’d be like, I’d text her, I’d be like, well, have a great life. Best of luck. Yeah. Honestly, like I’m, I’m relieved, you know, and I really hope they don’t like to contact her.

And I hope it’s just like left that way because this, like we were saying, this mother in law would make her life a living hell.

Saron Olkaba: Yeah. But like do, like crazy mother in laws like this, like just like let it, like let things go. Oops. I know, did

Christa Innis: She came creeping back? It’s over, yeah, right. They’re not that easy to get rid of, I’m

Saron Olkaba: pretty sure.

Christa Innis: I wonder how, like, soon this, how soon she sent me this story after it happened. So, like, if this was, like, that day or, like, a week later.

Saron Olkaba: Yeah, we might need a, a, uh,

Christa Innis: Yeah, we might need her to like to follow. Yeah, we need to follow up. We need one of those episodes where it’s like you tell us like everything that has happened since.

Did she really not speak her word? Um, because yeah, it could be that victim mentality of like, fine, I guess I’ll never see you again. You know, so dramatic. Yeah. They show up at the front door. Let’s make up. But big

Saron Olkaba: romantic gesture.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Come back. Running back to them. Um, well that was a crazy story.

Um, really hoping that this, um, bride woman, um, got some stronger boundaries away from this mother in law because if she comes crawling back, you know, it’s, it’s going to be worse. I don’t think this, this woman’s not realizing what she’s doing wrong. Yeah.

Saron Olkaba: Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. There’s.

Saron Olkaba: I mean, honestly, this ended the best case scenario for me.

Like ideally if she, I mean, this is your best chance at peace, ma’am. So let’s just continue praying every night that she sticks to no content and contact, and you can live your life peacefully because she sounds. Absolutely horrible. But like, is your husband sad about it?

Christa Innis: I don’t, that’s not your problem.

Yeah. Yeah, I’m glad the husband I hope he kind of realizes like showing up at that dinner without her was kind of weird. Because it seems like later on in these stories, he’s defending her more. So I’m like, okay, maybe he went and was like, okay, the way my mom’s acting is weird. Yeah, it was

Saron Olkaba: weird for me to go to a wedding with, about, without the bride that I’m marrying.

Yeah, perhaps. That’s, that’s

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Saron Olkaba: That was weird. That was weird. Let’s do that. Jesus. Frig it. That was insane.

Christa Innis: That was, yeah. So, uh, props to you for keeping your boundaries up and I just hope it stays that way and, and uh, your husband realizes that. He needs to back you up first.

Saron Olkaba: Yeah, let us know if, um, if she stays out of your life.

I pray that she does. Yeah,

Christa Innis: yeah, I think I need to do, like, uh, there’s so many stories on here that I, like, need follow ups with, so I feel like I need to reach out to some of these people and be like, a follow up episode and, like, share what’s been going on since, since they sent it. Cause this was 2024, so we’re talking seven months later now.

Hopefully seven months of peace

Saron Olkaba: and quiet. So much peace and quiet. It’s like your first seven months being married. I would imagine you just want to enjoy that. You do want someone tainting every big life milestone. Every time you have kids, she’s going to make it a problem. Like, every holiday. Like, you’re literally signing up to never enjoy anything, almost, like, ever again.

Best case scenario is that she eliminates herself from the situation. Yeah.

Christa Innis: And she can feel like a victim all she wants and you can live your best life. So

Saron Olkaba: 100%. Yeah.

Wedding Confessions & Unfiltered Reactions

Christa Innis: Yeah. Okay. All right. So I like to end this with a weekly confessions game. So people send their confessions and we kind of just We can rate them.

Sometimes it’s kind of weird rating them because I feel like, I’m like, oh, your confession wasn’t great. So, um, we can rate them if we want. But, um, so people send these ones. Here we go. Um, my sister in law got mad she wasn’t my maid of honor and then questioned all of my wedding decisions.

Saron Olkaba: Uh, she sounds awful.

Uh, no wonder she was not your maid of honor. And you sound like you have discernment, ma’am. So,

Christa Innis: yeah. Sounds like she didn’t even know you knew why.

Saron Olkaba: You’re not allowed to. You’re not allowed to get mad at people for the choices that they make in their wedding, right? Like, if she feels that someone, she wanted to have someone be her maid of honor that’s not, like, her, what she did was her being honest.

Her changing her mind is just doing it to placate you. Why would you want that? Let her have whoever she wants beside her. If you’re her sister and you love her, whatever, make sure she has the day that she wants and it’s not about you. It’s literally not about you.

Christa Innis: Yeah, totally agree. Um, oh, this one tells a couple not to marry each other.

We begged, um, was begged by so many people up until the wedding to stop it. So I don’t know what the outcome was. I did see one similar, maybe this is the other part of it, but I did see one similarly where she said they still got married and she still regrets, like they still like regret, regret it or something.

Um, letting it happen? Yeah, yeah, she said she liked to tell a couple, yeah.

Saron Olkaba: You have to be okay with every possible outcome. You gotta play this every way, you know, like if I tell her and she is, Like, f*ck you, I never want to speak to you again. Is this worth me potentially losing my friendship? Is this, are his, are the problems with him big enough or dangerous enough that it’s worth risking her reacting poorly and me losing her and her being like, even more isolated with this person?

Like, you just have to think that through. Some, like, some hills are not worth dying on and others are. You just have to trust your gut. I know.

Christa Innis: Yeah, like, I’ve definitely been a part of a wedding where she Was very unhappy and you could tell it was, like, a bachelorette party. They were, she was very upset. Like, I don’t want to go through with this.

And we’re like giving her support, like, Hey, we’re here. Like, you don’t have to do it. Like I’m talking like the night before the wedding, like after the rehearsal dinner, crying in the car with us and long story short, they got a divorce. So like. It didn’t work out. And, um, Were there signs? There were lots of signs.

Lots of signs. I think you’re right. Like,

Saron Olkaba: literally weeping the night before your wedding. Yeah. Not of happiness is

Christa Innis: Yeah. Well, that’s the thing. It’s like, So we could have been like, no, you’re not gonna marry him. Like, we’ll beg, you know. But it’s like, ultimately, it was her decision. Like, she was worried, more worried about like, you know, vendors that they already paid and this and that.

And it’s just like

Saron Olkaba: Vendors? That’s like a couple emails and you just gotta be, okay, eating, believe me, I’ve done it before, eating like tens of thousands of dollars, not great, but like, but like that versus, divorces are more expensive, first and foremost. Yes. If you, if you have something worth losing and also like, just don’t, if you have the Ability to stop the train.

Stop the f*cking train.

Christa Innis: Yes.

Saron Olkaba: Yeah. As quickly

Christa Innis: as possible.

Saron Olkaba: Okay, like, don’t wait to get so far down the road.

Christa Innis: Yeah, did you see the girl who went viral because she was left at the altar? Like, literally the most terrible, like, humiliating thing, right? But she turned it into, like, this fabulous party and they documented the whole thing and I was like, you go girl.

Like, she like I don’t even know, like, she went viral of, like, sharing this, like, amazing video of herself dancing at the wedding, and, like, I was like, yeah, you know what? That’s what you do. You turn up, you have a great party, that’s what you gotta do. I saw

Saron Olkaba: That, and you’re 100 percent correct. She is, like, the strongest.

She’s, like, an inspiration. She completely turned it around, um, and, like, when something that, like, that happens, Like, two months before, like, with me, devastating day of, I can’t even f*cking imagine, I can’t imagine, and to be able to, like, to find some joy in that day, and like, actually Realized that, oh, there are a bunch of people here that really love me.

And this is like a very sad or scary moment for me. And I could either isolate myself and, and kind of immediately start dwelling in it. Or I would like to try and make the best of it with all these people who adore me and want to see me happy. And it was just, it was incredible to watch. And she’s an inspiration.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I love that. I’m like, I don’t know. I don’t know how it acted at something like that. But I’m like, she’s yeah, definitely an inspiration in that aspect. Um, well, that is all I have planned for today. Thank you so much for coming on. It was so fun chatting with you. Um, I love your content. I love all the stuff you talk about.

Like I said, I feel like I get all my like pop culture, like what’s going on in the world from you. Um, so can you share with everyone where they can find you any fun things you’re working on and all that good stuff?

Saron Olkaba: Yeah, um, you can find me at saronthings, S A R O N, things, um, on TikTok and on, uh, Instagram.

I’m going to be starting a YouTube series soon, um, two 30 minute pop culture breakdowns a week, so stay tuned for that, but yeah, I’m mostly on, uh, Instagram and TikTok.

Christa Innis: Awesome. Well, thank you again so much for coming on. Yeah, it was so fun. It was so great chatting with you. Right. Awesome.

by Christa Innis

Wedding Doubts, Cowboy Boots, and a Mother-in-Law Meltdown with Jen Glantz

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

Get the book!

What starts with a pair of cowboy boots ends with a family secret you definitely won’t see coming.

This week, I’m joined by returning guest Jen Glantz, founder of Bridesmaid for Hire, and we dive into one WILD wedding story. Cowboy boots. Bridesmaids quitting. A drunken mother-in-law speech. Accusations about money. And then, just when you think you understand the drama, a shocking family secret changes EVERYTHING. Because, spoiler alert, this wasn’t about the boots.

We also talk about motherhood, social media boundaries, finding your village, and what 12 years of working as a professional bridesmaid has taught Jen about love, marriage, and those terrifying last-minute cold feet. What would you do if you said, “I don’t wanna do this,” right before walking down the aisle?

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month! 

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • Finding Your Village — Christa and Jen reflect on how some of their closest friendships exist entirely online and why community doesn’t always have to be local.
  • When Cold Feet Get REAL — Jen has seen firsthand what happens when someone questions their marriage right before walking down the aisle—and one story still haunts her.
  • Put the Phone DOWN — Christa and Jen talk motherhood, social media, comparison, and the very real struggle of being present when your entire digital life is sitting in your hand.
  • 12 Years of Wedding Drama — As the founder of Bridesmaid For Hire, Jen has watched hundreds of relationships up close. She shares what those weddings taught her about marriage and choosing the right person.
  • This Isn’t About the Cowboy Boots — Two sisters-in-law suddenly drop out of the wedding over dresses and cowboy boots. But Jen immediately sees what Christa sees: there is something much bigger going on here.
  • The Mother-in-Law Takes the Mic — A rehearsal dinner speech takes a wildly inappropriate turn when the mother-in-law gets drunk, drops multiple F-bombs, and claims she’s responsible for the couple meeting.
  • When Family Drama Gets DARK — What initially looks like toxic in-law behavior takes a heartbreaking turn when the couple discovers the mother-in-law has been struggling with a serious addiction.
  • The Money Mystery Finally Makes Sense — The couple eventually discovers why the father-in-law thought they were lying about the rehearsal dinner costs—and the truth is even messier than they expected.
  • Protective Mom or Future Problem? — Jen and Christa debate how they’ll handle their daughters dating someday. One wants to be welcoming. The other is already preparing to become a problem.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  • “If I have to choose between being present with my daughter or filming, I’m gonna be present.” – Christa Innis
  • “Sometimes I literally will be scrolling, and I’m like, I need to go outside and physically touch some grass right now.” – Christa Innis
  • “It’s so good to be authentic to you, because I think especially in social media, it’s so easy to get caught up on, ‘Oh, well, that’s what they do. So I should do that too.’” – Christa Innis
  • “I feel like a lot of it stems from insecurity and control.” – Christa Innis
  • “He needs to be standing up for her and on the same page as her.” – Christa Innis
  • “I want my daughter to feel comfortable bringing people here, and I wanna be, like, fun.” – Christa Innis
  • “If the line gets crossed and my daughter says, ‘They did this to me,’ I will never forget.” – Christa Innis
  • “This isn’t about the dress and the boots.” – Jen Glantz
  • “You can choose who you marry, you can’t really choose their family.” – Jen Glantz
  • “If you are engaged and you’re not sure, it is okay if you go through with it. It’s also okay if you decide to call it off.” – Jen Glantz
  • “You are so brave either way, truly.” – Jen Glantz
  • “I wanna live our lives, and just like you, make content when she doesn’t see me do it.” – Jen Glantz
  • “When you’re home all day and you’re attached to your phone, you live in all these alternate realities and you kind of lose yourself a little bit.” – Jen Glantz
  • “You’re not gonna be able to win this race yourself.” – Jen Glantz

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

About Jen

Jen Glantz is the founder of Bridesmaid for Hire, the world’s first professional bridesmaid. What started as a Craigslist ad turned into bestselling books, a podcast, and a career helping people navigate everything from wedding-day chaos to friendship drama and life’s biggest milestones.

Now a wife, mom, entrepreneur, and storyteller, Jen is passionate about embracing adventure, finding the humor in life’s unexpected moments, and keeping it real through every season. Whether she’s talking weddings, motherhood, or relationships, she’s all about helping people laugh through the chaos and create stories worth telling.

Follow Jen Glantz

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa: Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Here Comes the Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis, and if this is your first time listening, we are the podcast that dives into the drama, hilarity, and unforgettable moments when it comes to weddings, events, and beyond. We always react to wild stories, we have confessions, and I have guests come on and share some wild stories of their own.

 so today’s guest is someone that has truly seen it all when it comes to weddings. She’s actually been on the podcast before, and we had so much fun last time, I just had to have her back on. Jen Glantz is the founder of Bridesmaid for Hire, the author of Finally the Bride, and the host of the 1-800-Bridesmaid podcast.

 After spending years stepping in as a professional bridesmaid, she’s witnessed the chaos, the drama, and unforgettable moments that happen behind the scenes of weddings. Today, we’re diving into her journey and the lessons she learned while writing her book, talking about motherhood, parenting, and reacting to a wild story that someone sent in to me.

She also shares some wild stories of her own, so that’s, always fun because she’s been a bridesmaid hundreds of times. Yes, hundreds. also, you’ll notice a quick interruption in the middle. For you, it’s not gonna feel like anything, but for us, it was over a month because we had a slight weather, issue interrupting.

 there was a tornado warning that went on in the middle of recording. So, we just jumped right back in to where we were. Anyway, without further ado, please enjoy this episode with Jen Glantz.

Christa: Hi, Jen. I know we were- Hi … I know we were just talking, and I was like, “I should just start recording,” ’cause I was like, I feel like we’ll just start talking for, like, the next hour, and I’ll be like- … “Wait, we should probably record it.”

Jen: No, I feel like I could talk to you forever about topics all over the world, but especially weddings, and life, and family stuff.

Christa: Yeah. I know. I love that. I feel like we’re in very, like, similar areas of, like, what we do, and so it’s so fun. And when I was thinking of, like, guests to, like, reach out to and come back on, I was like, “Oh, we had so much fun.” I remember last time we were just, like, chatting, like, our daughters are about the same age, so we’re in that same stage of, like, parenting, and I was just posting about, like, finding your village.

And, like, whether that’s, like, close or far, I feel like it’s just nice to know people in, like, similar stages. It just, that community.

Jen: Yeah, I don’t know about you, but, like, so many of m- my best friends or even people I talk to all the time don’t live in my city. Like, most of my friends live everywhere else, and I feel like that’d be so weird 10 years ago, but now I feel like it’s kind of more the norm.

And it’s, it’s hard to find people in your own neighborhood sometimes who are going through what you’re going through. But some of the coolest people, and people I’ve become the closest with, are people I have never even met in person. Like, we’ve never met in person, but I feel like I know so much about your life.

Motherhood, Social Media And Touching Grass 

Christa: Yeah. It’s, it’s a wild time. I know. I feel like with, like, social media and, like- Just internet. I don’t know, like I… Same thing too, it’s like I’ll start talking to people on here and I’m like, “It’s so weird. I’ve never met you in person.” But like, we have great conversations, and we chat on social media, or like I send messages and…

Wild, but it’s

Jen: fun. It’s the pa- it’s the good side of social media and the internet- Yeah … is meeting really cool people. Like, I feel like I waste six plus hours a day on my phone doing God knows what, but then like the positive is that maybe it leads me to people like you, so I’m gonna keep wasting so much of my life on the phone.

Christa: Yes, I know. I know, and it’s… Do you find, too, it’s like with like, like with parenting and stuff, it’s like we’re able to like do more when we’re like out and about, so it’s like finding that like boundary. Like, I could be like at the park and I’ll just quickly send something on my phone or like send an email.

So I feel like I’m more present because I’m able to like do things from different places, but then it’s also like shutting that part off, like not thinking about it. I don’t know if you have a hard time with that like overlap, like-

Jen: It’s so hard because having your phone next to you is so easy. Like sometimes I’ll be with Gemma and I’ll be reading her books, we’ll be doing lunchtime, and my phone’s right there just so I can check the time.

But then of course I’m getting texts and I’m checking email, and then something interesting will come in on the phone, and I’m, she’s talking to me. I’m reading, but I’m also like thinking about what’s on my phone, and my brain is going in this weird circle, and- Mm-hmm … it’s dangerous because sometimes I feel like you can never really turn off the work or the access to your digital life, even when you’re with them.

And the hardest part is she’ll say to me, like this is so embarrassing, but she’ll say to me at least once a day, “Mommy, get off your phone. Put your phone away.” And I’m like, oh my God. She’s at an age now where she sees it, she knows it, and even soon she’s gonna think that it’s me going to my phone over her, and I have to get better at that.

Christa: Right. Well, yeah, but it’s, and it’s also, like I always think about, you know, they’re getting more like aware of it, but I also think about like how it used to be is like they only had like a desktop or they went away to work, so they were away for, you know, eight to 10 to 12 hours at the office. Then they’d come home for dinner.

Like, you know, the typical or the standard like working parent, right? Um, or even if they had an office at home. Like, my dad worked from home, but he was in the office, had the door shut, was in there. Um, but a lot of p- lot of kids I knew didn’t have their parents, you know, working from home. And so I think about like how, I know it’s different, but it’s like they s- they physically see us-

Jen: Yeah

Christa: sending the email, where as opposed to before we’d be like in the other room, door shut. So I know, it’s, it’s such a new phase we’re kinda in of like figuring out like, okay, how do we set boundaries, but also like- It’s nice to be able to, like, send a quick email and be physically out there with my child. I don’t know.

Parenting In The Work-From-Home Era 

Jen: It’s so hard. I know. It’s so hard. I don’t- Uh, my schedule is I will wake up at, like, 6:00, and I’ll, I’ll try to work from, like, 6:00 to 9:00. But during those, those hours, I’m still with her when she wakes up. I’m still making her breakfast, and I’m carrying my computer with me, so she’ll wake up and the first thing she sees is me on the computer, and it’s like, it’s so hard that they’re now more aware.

But the trade-off is if I get all my work done by 9:00, I can be more present with her throughout the day, and I really love and I’m so grateful that I can have this life where I can do both things with her. But the… I don’t know how you feel about this, but the one thing that kind of I’m trying not to do is have her watch me film myself because I feel like that’s such a weird thing for her to see is, like, me talking to the camera and putting on a bit of a show.

I mean, how do you do it? Because a lot of what you do- 100% … are these skits, are these fun things that you’re talking directly into the camera.

Christa: Yeah, 100%. No, I… It’s funny because I was gonna make a video about this because- The number of times people are like, especially with series, they’re always like, “Do the next part.

Why, why it takes you so long?” And I’m like, “Ugh, you want a camera on me showing me all the things I do in between?” And I’m like, so one thing is I do not film in front of my daughter. Yes. Like, she does not see anything I post. I don’t like… Like, there, like sometimes if she, like, sees my computer she’ll be like, “Oh, what’s that?”

I’m like, “Oh, it’s just from a video for this,” whatever. But she’ll never, like, see me. I only film, especially, like, the first, I wanna say like year of her life at least, maybe even more, I only filmed at night when she was already in bed.

Jen: Wow.

Christa: And so I was like b- like exhausted. I’d be up late. Sometimes my husband would still be, like, at, at work at that point or he’d be home and I would just be, like, filming in the ba- And that’s why I filmed in the bathroom.

People are always like, “Why’d you film in the bathroom?” I was like, it was far enough away from my daughter’s room, great lighting, and I, it was like once she was in bed. And so, um, and that’s the other thing too with filming is like if I have to choose between, like, being present with my daughter or filming, I’m gonna be present.

Yeah. And so I just have to find the right time, and it’s usually gonna be nap time or when she’s already in bed. Um-

Jen: I feel the same way. Yeah. When before she was born I was like, I’m gonna be this mom influencer, and I’m gonna chronicle my whole life having a kid and show my kid and be this influencer.

And when I was pregnant my friend with four kids was like, “I just wanna bring you back down to Earth and tell you, like, that means you’re always gonna have a phone in your face, in their face.” Mm-hmm. “And that’s gonna be kinda strange.” And I was like, “No, no, no, no, no.” But then the second she was born and I started to be like, okay, you know, I just gave birth and then she’s in the video and I’m, I’m acting.

I’m being myself, but of course I’m turning it on a little bit more. I was like, “This is not for me.” Mm-hmm. I don’t want my daughter to see me with a phone in my face all the time. I don’t want the phone in her face all the time. Like, there’s times I’ll, you know, take a video of her and I’ll even have both of us in the video, but it’s rare.

And most of the time I don’t post it ’cause I’m like, this is performative. This is weird. She’s not agreeing to this. Ah. Like, it’s just, it’s too much.

Christa: Mm-hmm, weird.

Jen: But I quickly was like, I actually wanna spend less of my private life on social media because- Yeah … I don’t wanna walk around, you know, with a smile being like, “Hey, everyone, look at, look at our lives.”

I wanna live our lives, and just like you, make content when she doesn’t see me do it and doesn’t see me post it because- I don’t know, it just, it just didn’t feel authentic to me. I know people do it and they do it so well, but when I tried to do it, I’m like, “This is just not what I want for my life.” And it just completely shifted my content strategy.

Christa: Yes. No, totally. It’s funny because, like, we’ll go on a vacation or something and I’m like, “Oh, I should film, like, some content or something.” But I’m so uncomfortable with filming out in public, so, like, if I do anything, it’s like I’m filming, like, towards, like, the ground showing, like, oh, this is, like, a cool, like, mountain side or it’s a cool beach or whatever, and I’ll just, like, throw it in somewhere.

And I’ll always look back and I’m like, I took, like, no videos. And I don’t post my child online at all. And so I’ll be like, I took, like, no videos because I just, I don’t wanna be that person that’s, like, they’re, like, doing, like, a little family vlog. Like, and again, not shaming anyone. That’s… Some people do it great.

Yeah. That’s just not me. I don’t consider myself, like, influencer. I just not, that’s just not my… I always laugh at it, ’cause I, I always try to w- I want to do cont- or, like, not do content, but have, you know, B-roll type stuff so I can, like, use it for stuff later, and I’m so bad at remembering. Like, in the moment my brain’s just, like, like, bouncing all over the place.

Jen: But this is how it shows how you’re such an authentic content creator with what you do, because you create videos that are very much you and you’re… I, I’d say you’re not trying to be someone else, but in the videos you are being someone else. But it’s, it’s acting, it’s skits, it’s things like that. But you’re not creating content that feels weird to you and inauthentic to you, and I really respect that because I do think a lot of people are s- are pushed to be like, “Okay, I’m gonna be doing things outside like this.”

Authenticity Over Algorithms 

And if it doesn’t feel right for you, then you shouldn’t do it because it’s never gonna show up and feel right for people watching it if it doesn’t feel right for you to do.

Christa: Exactly. Yeah. And I worked in, like, social media marketing for, like, many years. Like, I think it’s go- we’re going on, like, 13 years now.

Before I even, like, had this account, and that was always my thing. I would say, I actually worked for a mommy brand. I, I would always be like this f- if something felt inauthentic or felt like fakey or cheesy, I couldn’t post it. I would, like, spend all this time editing. I’d watch it and be like, “I can’t post that.”

Yeah. “That does not feel real.” I hate sell-y and I hate, like- Like pretending, like obviously I do the act, like the skits, but everyone knows it’s like- Yeah … right, skits. But if I was like, “Oh my gosh, everyone should get this water bottle because blah, blah, blah,” and like I watch it back and I’m like, “That doesn’t sound right.

I’m not gonna post that like, that I want it,” you know?

Jen: The amount of times I’ve posted something and then I’ll take a shower and be like, “Wait a second. I don’t like that. That doesn’t feel right. Like now that it’s out there, it doesn’t feel right.” I run out of the shower and delete it. Like, if you follow my social media so closely, I’d say like 50% of the things I post, within an hour I take down because I’m like, “This doesn’t feel right.

What’s the agenda behind this? Like this is just, it’s just not right.” And that’s the beauty of being able to delete it, but I feel you. Like if it doesn’t feel right, I can’t sleep at night knowing that it’s living out there on the internet for people to see. And if that… I, I post a lot less now than I did before I had my daughter because- doesn’t feel right sometimes, and I just, I don’t do it.

Christa: Yeah. But that’s so good, too, about being authentic to you, ’cause I think especially in social media, it’s so easy to get caught up on like, “Oh, well that’s what they do. That’s how they post. So I should do that too,” or, “If I wanna look like them, I should probably do this.” And it’s so good to like, you know the phrase, like touch grass.

Like sometimes I literally will be scrolling, I’m like, I need to go outside and physically touch some grass right now. And I’ll leave my phone inside, and I’ll go on a walk with my family. And I’m like, I feel a million times better. ‘Cause it’s just like you get caught in that like comparison zone of like, oh, do I need to be doing this?

And then I’m just like, Christa, turn it off. Like-

Jen: Yeah …

Christa: walk away, ’cause

Jen: that’s a big not.

Christa: No, I,

Jen: I love the touch grass thing. I need to start doing that some more. Because seriously, like when you’re home all day and you’re attached to your phone, you live in all these alternate realities and like you kinda lose yourself a little bit.

Like whenever I go on TikTok for more than 10 minutes, I completely lost myself. I’m down all these rabbit holes that I shouldn’t be down. I feel more anxious, I feel sad, I feel all of these things. And I’m like, wait, what did I just learn or what did I just get from being on TikTok for all of this time?

It’s so addicting, but it really changes your brain chemistry, and I see how it affects me. And I tried to like go off TikTok for like a week, and I feel noticeably better. I feel like my anxiety is down. So yeah, I think sometimes you get sucked in these rabbit holes. And also like as a mom, and if you’re home with your child all day, like you have periods where you’re like, I’m kinda lonely.

She’s independently playing. I kinda need some type of dopamine hit. Social media’s there, and I find myself just going and scrolling. And I’m like, oh man, I could have used this time for something so much better that would’ve made me feel better.

Christa: Mm-hmm.

Jen: But yeah, sometimes as a mom you just kinda feel lonely, and that’s your way of connecting, and it’s- it’s- it’s real, but it’s also weird.

Christa: Right. And, and social media has a way of like, you’re like, oh, I’m learning something or I’m like-

Jen: Yeah …

Christa: oh, this new hack. Yeah. I know. I find that really interesting about like, um… Well, it’s funny ’cause before kids, like, um, I was like super good about like texting back right away and emailing back right away, and I was like, I would always have this like log right here.

I’m like, oh, I gotta get back to that person, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And now I know, like, how I can so easily… Especially with, like, ADHD, I’m like, I can, I can so easily get down that rabbit hole of, like, I, I pick up my phone to text someone back, and then before you know it I’m scrolling. So I will admit it right now, I’m so bad at texting back because I, I will remember, but it might not- Yeah

be till the next day or two. But, like, I’ll see a text and I’m like, “I can’t. I cannot even open the phone to look at their text right now,” because it’s gonna cause me to, like… Like, let’s say you’re trying to schedule, like, a meetup or some- like a s- like a play date or something. Then I’m like, “Okay,” then I’m looking at my calendar, then I’m doing this, and then before I know it, it’s an hour of me not working or an hour of me pulled away from something.

And so I just, like, I’m like, I hold texts till that night or the next morning. And I love when it’s another mom friend, ’cause they get it, and they’re like, “No, I’m totally understand. It’s okay.” I’m like, “I’m sorry.” The new, the old

Jen: me- Do people get upset with you? Do people… ‘Cause I, I feel like sometimes, like, some of my friends get upset, ’cause I used to be just like that.

I used to be, like, the star texter, the immediate texter. Mm. And now I’m the same way. So do people ever get upset with you?

Christa: If they do, I don’t know it. It’s- Yeah … it’s, like, my own internalized, like, “Oh my God, they’re mad at me.” So no one’s ever said to me, like, “Oh my God, you didn’t text me back.” I have had my mom a couple times be like, “Did you not get my text yesterday?”

‘Cause it’s probably like, “Are you alive? Are you okay?” Um, and I’ll be like, “Yeah, sorry, it was a really busy day and I forgot to text you back.” Um, so usually I, like, end up texting her, like, the next day, and I’m like, “Sorry, Mom.” Um, but no, I haven’t had a friend sa- say anything. I’ve had just, like, sometimes, like- Um, maybe like I don’t hear back from them for a little bit when I do text them back, and I’m like, “Sorry.”

But-

Jen: Yeah, I’m … But I’m like n- I’ve become not a texter. Like, I would much rather … Like, if a friend texts me like, “Hey, what’s going on? What’s new?” I cannot bring myself to write back anything. I’d rather pick up the phone, call you, talk to you for an hour and tell you everything, but I’m just not a texter.

I’m not a communicator like that. I feel like it’s so hard for me to express what I’m going through or what’s going on, or even like how my week has been over text. Voice notes, like I haven’t fully entered that phase with friends yet. Sometimes friends will send me voice notes, but I- I’m not there yet with communication with them.

But- Mm … I feel like as I’ve become a mom I’ve become this like old lady where I’m like, “Let’s get on the phone and, and chat.” And it’s just like, I don’t know if it’s easier for me or just better for me to communicate that way, but I, I can text you like, “I’ll see you at 8:30 PM.” I can’t text you any updates on my life.

I can’t. I can’t do it.

Christa: It’s hard. It’s hard, yeah. I’m still not a phone caller. Yeah. Every once in a while, but I would much rather … Like, I love an in-person meeting. Yeah. And I’m like, I’m that person where if we’re in person my phone’s away and let’s just like focus. Um, but again, with moms and schedules, like it might be six months from now before we can get together.

Um,

Jen: but- No, I have s- This is what people … People get on my case for not texting them back, and then if they ask me to make plans I’m like, “How’s November 5th?” And they’re like, “Wait, what?” And it’s not even ’cause I’m busy. Like, I don’t really have a lot going on, but it’s like when you have to figure out like, “Okay, I’m with Gemma these hours, these days,” like it just, before you know it, it is November 5th.

And right now we’re talking in July, so it’s like people, people get on my case for that, and it’s, it’s just part of being a mom to a young kid who’s not in school yet and all these things, and also trying to work for yourself. Like- Yeah … there’s so many external factors that just make your schedule hilarious.

But I have so many people who are like, I feel like they don’t even reach out to me anymore ’cause I’m like literally, “How’s next January 2027

Christa: look?” Right. Like, let me pencil you in now.

Jen: Yeah. Yeah. But mom friends do get it. Like, I have a couple mom friends where I’m like, “How about two months from today?”

And they’re like, “Absolutely.” And also like- Mm … you know, let’s just pencil it in. Maybe we’ll cancel it. I’m like, “I love you. We need to be friends.” Like, this is-

Christa: Yes …

Jen: cancellation policies need to exist because things happen and they pop up the day of, and I think you should be allowed to kind of back away and cancel without hard feelings.

Christa: And we’re back. For, anyone that heard the little blip in our audio, it’s because, I had a tornado warning and had to get in the basement, so

Jen: that was fun. Insane. Like, things you don’t expect to happen when podcasting. You think, “

Christa: Great.” I know. It’s like, we were talking, and I like, I noticed- Yeah … it getting darker and stuff, and then all of a sudden I was like, I heard my husband knock on my door, and I’m like, “Oh, maybe he forgot I was, like, podcasting.”

And then he, opened it and he’s like, “We gotta go in the basement.” And my daughter was napping, so we had to like- … fix the whole thing. But-

Jen: That is seriously terrifying. Yeah. And I was thinking of you the whole time, ’cause I’m like, “Oh, my God, like, what happens if the tornado blows off their roof?”

Like, you don’t know. it must be such a crazy feeling being in the bathroom like, thinking about all these things happening.

Christa: We moved to a new neighborhood, four, three or four months ago now, and a tornado went through this exact neighborhood like, four years ago.

So neighbors I’ve met, their roof was actually blown off. So it’s scary to like- That’s crazy … so everyone gets a little bit of PTSD when, tornadoes- Yeah … happen because they’re like, “Oh, this literally happened.” No, for sure. So yeah. My daughter’s happy we have a basement now, and so we’ll go into the basement.

But we’ve gone in there More times than I can count since living here but it’s all good. No,

Jen: for real. I was thinking of you, so I’m glad you guys are okay.

12 Years Of Wedding Drama

Christa: Yes. so I know we like, we love to just chat. Yeah. it’s so fun hanging out, but I feel like last time I didn’t even, tell you to, like, introduce yourself.

I know you’ve been on before. Yes. So can you remind everyone, I think it’s such a fascinating thing what you do, because I even see, when you post about, your book and stuff, people are like, “Wait, she’s been in how many weddings? What does she do?” So can you talk a little bit about what you do and how you kinda got into it?

Jen: Yeah, so I’m the founder of Bridesmaid For Hire, and that is a company that is exactly like its name. It’s a company where strangers hire me to be their bridesmaid. In 2014, I had this light bulb moment when all of my friends were getting engaged and getting married that if I could be their forever bridesmaid, why not do this for strangers who might not have any friends?

So at the time, I posted a Craigslist ad. The ad blew up, and I started working weddings for strangers. So strangers hire me, I show up, I pretend to know them from some part of their life, and I act as their best friend for the weekend. And once the weekend ends, I never see them again. It’s a crazy job.

I’ve written many books about it, but my latest book is called Finally the Bride, and it infuses stories of my journey getting married. Yay. Yay. it’s an interesting book because most of my other books are all about other people’s weddings, and this one is about my journey getting married and also what I’ve learned from the weddings that I’ve worked for the past 12 years.

Christa: Wow. So do you think, you took something kinda from each wedding and kinda like filed it away to be like, “Okay, do this. Don’t do this”? I know one of the things you talked about, like, social media and otherwise, is about how because of you being in part of so many weddings, you didn’t want a big wedding yourself.

Jen: Yeah, for sure. You know, it wasn’t so black and white where I’d go to these weddings and be like, “Well, I don’t want flowers and I don’t want this.” It was more like existential. I’m like, “Well, I don’t wanna get married if the person I’m gonna marry is, you know, somebody that I’m not gonna love forever, and I don’t know if, marriage is something I want or if a wedding is something I want.”

So like the first couple weddings I went to I’d be like, “Oh, I don’t want a white dress,” or, ” Oh, I don’t want a cocktail hour.” But then by wedding 50, I’m like, “I don’t know if I will ever fall in love or if I’ll meet somebody and know that is the kind of love I want.” Mm-hmm … the questions were so deep.

And then when I met my now husband, I put him through the ringer because I was like, “Hey, one of the biggest reasons people hire me is ’cause they have cold feet or they wanna end their engagement. So what’s to say that you and I are gonna get, meet at the aisle and I’m gonna know you’re the one?”

And I really freaked out, and it caused a lot of problems between us, and it caused a lot of delay in us even getting engaged and getting married.

Christa: Mm. ‘ Cause you probably saw so many different relationships over those years of, being a hired bridesmaid that you’re like, ” Wait, this couple is so unlikely.

Why are they getting married?” Or the couple you told me about where they made it all the way to the day of the wedding, and she’s like, “I don’t wanna do this.” And so I’m sure you saw so many different angles where you’re like, how do you know if these people are, freaking out, or scared, or they go through with it and then they regret it, or, probably hearing all those different stories.

Jen: Yeah, like one of my favorite chapters in the book is called Sometimes It Doesn’t Happen, and it talks about a couple of the weddings I’ve worked where it didn’t happen, or it almost didn’t happen. And I remember being in the car with somebody, and I was asking her, she was divorced, and I was asking her, ‘During your wedding, like, did you know you were marrying the wrong person?’

And she was like, ‘Absolutely. I remember walking down the aisle thinking, this is gonna suck to have to do again.’ she knew walking down the aisle, and actually, that’s like a common thing. Like, if you ask a lot of people who got divorced, especially who got divorced within the first five years of marriage, they knew at the wedding that this was the wrong person.

But it was almost more socially acceptable for them to go through with the wedding than to just end it a month before.

Christa: Mm-hmm.

Jen: And that happens a lot, and I don’t think you would know it. there’s a lot of people who I watched getting married who I knew behind the scenes, like something was off. But- Yeah

publicly, they seemed great, and on social media, it was like, ” I love my husband so much,” or, “I love my fiancé so much.” So you never really know, and I think that’s what freaked me out the most was, like, you would see a couple, and on paper they would look great, but behind the scenes, there was a lot of ruffled feathers.

That freaked me out.

Christa: Yeah. I just had someone on my podcast, Mary McGuffin, and she said she was engaged really young, and they had everything, paid for and ready, and she called her mom, I wanna say a couple weeks before the wedding or something, and she’s like, “Mom, I don’t wanna get married.

This isn’t my person.” And she’s like, “Everything’s paid. You’re doing it. Divorce later if you want.” And so she’s like, “We went through with it, and I knew it was wrong.” And she’s like, “Then we divorced,” and she’s like, “Now I’ve been married for, I think, 25 years to her now husband.” And she’s like, “So I knew then it was right.”

But yeah, I’m sure you’re right. Like, so many people, know in that moment ’cause they’re just like, well, everything’s paid for, and then you make it more of a spectacle of all these people are coming- Yes … and we have family coming in, and they’re relying on us, and vendors are paid, you know, all that stuff.

Jen: You know, it’s just so scary because I’m such an indecisive person. if you ask me where to go for dinner tonight, I will have a panic attack and kind of just say “You pick. whatever you wanna do.” And I cannot decide for the life of me if that’s the right or wrong decision, and a lot of what I saw were people who were really battling deeply, like, is this cold feet or is this just nerves?

And they really didn’t know. And that freaked me out because, you know, I’m married now, but when I was engaged, I’m like, “Well, I, love him. I’m pretty sure I love him, but, what if I get to the wedding day and all of a sudden everything swarms my brain and I’m like, ‘Oh, this is a bad decision?'”

Because so many people who have cold feet, it doesn’t hit them till right before they’re about to walk down the aisle. It’s almost like, you’re about to go skydiving, and you’re on the plane. You’re like, “I can do this, I can do this,” and then it’s time to jump out of the plane, and you’re like, “Wait, I can’t do this, and this is why.”

Mm. And it hits a lot of people before they walk down the aisle, and that freaked me out ’cause I’m like, “I can’t make a decision for the life of me. I’m always second-guessing myself. Like, what if I show up at this wedding and it just hits me, like Adam’s not the right person for me?” And when we got married, that was my biggest fear the whole morning, was like-

” Is that feeling gonna suddenly hit me? And if it does, like, what do I do?” and it’s because I had seen this a lot, and the average person doesn’t, like, think about it. when a person has cold feet, they really don’t have anyone to tell, so oftentimes they don’t tell anybody. It’s like a, self, internal feeling you get.

So a lot of people you know might have had cold feet, and you wouldn’t ever know.

Christa: Wow. That’s so interesting. Yeah, ’cause I feel like romantic comedies from, like, the ’90s, it was like everyone had cold feet. It’s like Runway Bride or, you know, like, they’re all, hyperventilating, and they’re like, run or whatever.

Yeah. And I was just talking to someone about this, and I’m Like, weddings I’ve been in, and then my own wedding, I’m like, I didn’t have cold feet. But I don’t know if that’s ’cause, I lived with my husband so long, so to me it was just like, just another thing that we were really excited for.

I was like, I don’t know. and unless my friends just didn’t say anything, I didn’t think they had it. But there was one friend That I may have talked about this before, but like they ended up getting divorced, but she was, in the parking lot, really upset about the wedding and was like, “I can’t do this.

I don’t think I can do this, but everything’s been paid for, so we have to go through with it.”

Jen: It’s a bunch of money

Christa: and time. Yeah, so I don’t know. I feel like a lot of it probably is nerves too, making sure the day is going right, and the timeline’s going through.

People show up when they say they’re gonna show up. There’s a lot riding on the day.

Jen: Oh, beyond… You know, one of the stories that haunts me, like sometimes I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and I’ll think about this, is on New Year’s Eve, I once worked this wedding, and everything was going pretty well.

Like, the bride was in good spirits. Everything was fine, and then we’re all lined up to walk down the aisle, and before she goes down the aisle, she starts hysterically crying. And she goes, “I don’t wanna do this. And she was kind of like holding on to, like the table for her dear life.

And her mom, who was at the front of the line about to walk down the aisle, came up to her and was like, “You will do this.” And she put her hand on her back and pushed her forward.

Oh,

Christa: wow. And

Jen: forced her down… I’m like getting choked up. Like, forced her down the aisle as she was like having a panic attack, and like I don’t know if it was a panic attack, if it was nerves, or if she was like, “I had a come to Jesus moment, and I can’t do this,” but the mom like forced her down the aisle, and it was one of the most jarring things I’ve ever seen ’cause, you know, as a parent, if my daughter said, “I don’t wanna do something,” I don’t care if I spent a freaking million dollars on it, I’m gonna grab her and say, “Let’s get the hell out of here.”

Christa: Yeah, or just let’s make it a big party.

Jen: Yeah, like, I hope that’s how I am in, 20-something years, but it was crazy. It was crazy.

Christa: Wow. That’s wild ’cause it makes you wonder, throughout their relationship, if the mom was like, “Oh, it’s fine. Just go,” you know, like, ” Go out with him.”

Mm-hmm. Or- Yeah … “Move in with him.” You know, whatever other things ’cause she would like… ‘ Cause there are certain like family dynamics where the mom is so, eager for the daughter to get married. There’s this like pressure of like, ” Oh, it’s fine. you know what? I married your father before I wanted to marry him- Right

so you should do it too.” Or like, “We all just sucked it up,” you know? And so I’ve known people like this where it’s like they felt pressure from their parents to get married young or to You know, just go through with something because their parents said to, which-

Jen: Yeah …

Christa: you know, blows my mind, but.

Jen: My only advice to anyone out there is, if you are engaged and you’re not sure, it is okay if you go through with it. it is totally okay if you get married and you go through with it. It’s also okay if you decide to call it off. I honestly think you are so brave either way, truly. The one thing I will beg you to do is not sign the marriage license, because then you’re officially married.

And actually, a lot of people don’t sign the marriage license before they get married because nobody would know, and it’s okay to do that. So if you’re having these feelings, just don’t sign the legal document, ’cause then it’s gonna be a lot harder to go your separate ways, and that’s a whole other conversation.

So you know what I would do, is I would delay getting it so that maybe there’s some errors. It’s actually, like, kind of hard to get. There’s a lot of steps. I would kind of put off getting the marriage license till, right before the wedding and then realize you can’t.

 You can do this, by the way, if you have an officiant that’s, a little bit more laid back, and is kind of- Right … getting your vibe. So put off signing the marriage license or, once you get the marriage license if you have it, you can be like, ” I know that we have to sign this, but, like, there’s no rush to sign it on our wedding day.

I wanna do a little bit more research with you after the wedding when we can sit down to make sure that, we know what marriage is gonna change for us and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.” Mm-hmm. Put off signing the marriage document because then it’s easier to cut ties down the road. Or after the wedding if you’re like, “You know, the wedding pressure’s over and I love this person, I feel much better,” then you can sign it.

The wedding can still happen without the marriage being real.

Christa: Right. Yeah, ’cause sometimes, like, the nerves of, the wedding day and stuff can kind of hinder maybe how you’re actually feeling about- The relationship and everything thus far, and with all these other voices coming in, for sure. awesome.

I know we need to get to the story, ’cause I know we’ve got, a cutoff too, and I don’t wanna, take up too much of your time. Oh, no. But where can everyone get your book, Finally the Bride? I know … And it also starts off with a shocking story that I wanna ask you about.

Jen: Mm.

Christa: And this won’t spoil anything.

I don’t … I think it’s on-

Jen: No, yeah, you can yes.

Christa: Where, the psychic told you, you’re never gonna find love. Did you go back to her? I don’t remember if it says.

Jen: You know, I went to the singles party, and the biggest perk of the singles party was getting to meet with the psychic. I’m a sucker for a psychic.

I just paid $200 for a pet psychic for my dog- … to talk to my dog and tell me what she was saying. Biggest waste of money. But I’m, actually going to another pet psychic next week. I am a sucker for psychics.

Christa: Yeah.

Jen: So the singles party has a psychic, and I go, and she sits down, and she’s like, “I have bad news for you.”

And I’m like, “What the hell?” what could she possibly say?

Christa: You’re like, “This is not what I paid for.”

Jen: Yeah. And she’s like, “You’re never gonna find love. Like, you’re gonna be miserable just like me.” And I’m like, “This has to be some type of, like, April Fools’ Day prank.” You’re like, “What are you…” Like, she’s a comedian.

She’s telling everyone here this. And it turns out, I verified with other people, she didn’t. So she basically, looks at me and tells me I’m never gonna find love, and I’m the kinda person that when you tell me I can’t do something, I do it to an extreme. So basically her saying that to me, like, dotted the line to me meeting my now husband, Adam, in a very weird type of way.

So it was kind of a blessing in disguise I didn’t realize at the time. But I never went to her again, but I did email her, and told her that what she told me actually changed my life. Never heard back from her. Yeah. but it was bizarre, ’cause, like- You know, psychics can, will tell you things, but, that was, like, a life-ruining thing that, I could have believed and just given up totally on dating.

Mm. You know?

Christa: Yeah. Yeah. Like, “Oh, I’m just gonna be miserable the rest of my life, wah, wah,” you know?

Jen: Yeah.

Christa: You’re like, “Yeah, no, I’m not going to do that.”

Jen: No. and it kind of, through a series of events that I write about, led me to Adam. But, it was just bizarre to hear that from a psychic. So that’s kind of how I open the book, and it foreshadows the kind of rough journey of me eventually getting married in a way that I never expected.

So, yeah, you can find the book on Amazon. It’s there. It’s on Barnes & Noble online, and, it’s something I’m super proud of because, you know, when you write a book, You don’t really know what it’s gonna be like till it’s all over, and the writing process took me a couple years, and I’m really proud of the book.

Christa: Yeah. And I love that it’s, like, personal stories throughout the years too because, it adds, an extra spin. And your humor in the story is so good too, ’cause it’s, like, witty, and it’s, quick.Yeah, I like, I love your style of writing, so everyone’s gotta check it out for sure, and we-

will link it below as well.

Jen: Thank you.

This Isn’t About The Cowboy Boots

Christa: Yeah. Okay, let’s get to this week’s story submission. And I mean, you know how it goes. You’ve been on here before. So let’s just dive in, see what we got. Okay. It says, “Hi there. My husband and I got married a little over three years ago, and our wedding planning experience was something.

When we first started planning, I asked my sisters-in-law if they would like to be bridesmaids. They both said yes and seemed really excited. But pretty quickly they both started calling my husband complaining about having to wear dresses and cowboy boots, saying they didn’t want to wear either.

Honestly, I wasn’t asking for much. I told them to just wear any dusty blue dress that made them feel pretty, and for shoes I suggested cowboy boots for the look I was going for. Knowing boots can be expensive and that they probably wouldn’t wear them again, I even suggested they check Walmart for cheaper knockoff versions.

Eventually the complaints stopped, so I thought the issue had been resolved. Around that time, I also tried to include my future mother-in-law in the planning. I invited her to go dress shopping with my mom and sister so she could feel included. That turned out to be a mistake. At my appointment, she made multiple inappropriate comments about the dresses, things like how certain styles would be easy or hard for my husband to get me in and out of at the end of the night.”

Jen: Mm.

Christa: That’s where it has crawled into

Jen: my second eye. Gross. Oh my God.

Christa: What?

Jen: Awful.

Christa: Like, why are you saying that?

Jen: Weird. So awful. Yeah, it seems like these three, the sisters, the mom, toxic energy. You know, you can choose who you marry, you can’t really choose their family. And unless it’s so bad, it’s not a reason not to marry that person.

But I’m nervous to see how this ends.

Christa: Yeah. So well. Yeah, that’s not starting too great. after that, I decided to not involve her in any more planning with my side of the family. Yeah, I’d be in the same boat. Yeah. Fast-forward to about six to eight weeks before the wedding, crunch time. On top of everything, my sister was also getting married six weeks before me, so it was a very chaotic time.

Two weeks before my sister’s wedding, my future mother-in-law asked my husband to talk to his dad about contributing money toward the rehearsal dinner. For context, his parents are divorced and neither of them have a lot of extra money. My husband and I had already planned to pay for everything ourselves because we didn’t want to put that stress on them Still my husband spoke to his dad, who said he didn’t have much extra to spare, especially on short notice.

We told him that was completely fine and that we only asked because his mom wanted us to. About a week later, we received a horrible text from my future father-in-law accusing us of lying and trying to use him for money. We were completely blindsided and had no idea what had happened. My husband has always had a strained relationship with his dad, so instead of escalating things, we politely told him that if he truly felt that way about us, it might be best if he didn’t attend the wedding.

Ugh. I don’t get that. So out of nowhere he comes back and says, “You’re lying and trying to use me for money,” even though all we did was ask? But

Jen: I… Do you think the mom said something to him? Like, did she get involved? Mm-hmm. It seems kind of weird that, they asked him this seemingly politely, and I’m sure it was very hard for the dad to say, Hey, I don’t have any extra money right now.”

 that’s a really tough situation. But then it seems like there’s other types of, toxic energy infused in this. So, like, did the mom contact the dad and try to, get them involved, you know?

Christa: Mm-hmm. It seems like there’s more. That was my first thought too- Yeah … that the mom said something like, ” did they ask you for money?

‘Cause they asked me for money, and I think it’s gonna be expensive.” Right. You know, something like that to make

Jen: him feel bad. Something,

Christa: yeah.

Jen: Yeah.

Christa: This seems weird for him just to come out of nowhere. Out of nowhere. Yeah. The very next day, one of my sisters-in-law called and said she didn’t feel comfortable wearing a dress and boots anymore.

She was stepping down as a bridesmaid. I asked if the other sister still wanted to be in the wedding, and she said no. Neither of them wanted to do it.

Jen: Mm. You know what?

Christa: God, two things.

Jen: This isn’t about the dress and the boots.

Christa: Mm-hmm.

Jen: This is not about the dress and the boots. They don’t like you. They don’t like this.

Maybe it’s not even a you problem. Maybe they’ll never like anyone their brother is with, but this is not about the dress and the boots.

Christa: Yeah.

Jen: Mm-mm.

Christa: That’s a very simple task. That’s… No way it’s about that. Nope. There’s something deeper, or the mom is saying something behind her back- Yes.

Jen: Yes …

Christa: which would be very likely.

Jen: Yes.

A Drunk Speech Nobody Asked For

Christa: At that point, there wasn’t much I could do. Thankfully, I was able to find another friend last minute who could step in and get a dress in time. After my sister’s wedding passed, things finally seemed to calm down, and I was able to focus fully on my own wedding. Then came the rehearsal dinner. My future mother-in-law got completely hammered and decided to give a speech It’s so funny.

I, this is not- Mm … not this is funny, but I’ve done multiple, skits now about mothers-in-law giving, a random speech that, like, doesn’t like the bride, and in my mind when I do this I’m like, “This would never happen,” ’cause people would- Then you read it and I’m just like, ” Well, it happens.”

Jen: It’s crazy.

 also, I feel like if you have any type of toxic family member who you know might give a speech that’s unwarranted, you have to assign someone to be on, protective duty. a big thing that I’ll do is, hide the microphones and, make sure that, this doesn’t happen because those people tend to get drunk and then say their words and, ruin everything.

Like, that’s part of their, character archetype and like you gotta stop it.

Christa: Yes. If

Jen: you know this is gonna happen, assign a friend to be, watching them to make sure that they don’t do this, and if they try to do this they just cut them off.

Christa: Uh-huh. Yeah, ’cause a bad speech can ruin a vibe completely.

1,000%. I’m sure you’ve seen it.

Jen: Yes, and, it’s like you would think, how could a person do this? But there’s narcissists and there’s people who make everything about them, so it’s not that far-fetched. it does happen, and it’s so bad and weird. So

Christa: bad. It’s wrong. Oh, my gosh. She says, “The only parts I really remember were her dropping multiple F-bombs and insisting that she was the reason my husband and I met, so we should be thanking her for our relationship.”

Wild.

Jen: You know what? mothers of sons are tough because they always say, a mother of a son, Especially if she has daughters too, like, it’s gonna be so hard to impress her. I feel like the I don’t have a son, so I don’t know, but, like, the mother-son relationship is usually really strong, and then when the son starts to, have someone serious they’re dating, I feel like a lot of the moms are, so protective, and, it’s hard for them to, really like the person at first, you know?

I’ve always just heard that, and I think it’s really hard to, let your son go. Yeah. And this kind of seems like a situation where she’s a toxic person in general, and this woman might be an amazing person. Doesn’t matter what she did or didn’t do, but this mom is just, never going to like her.

Christa: Yeah. I feel like a lot of it stems from insecurity and control. they realize they can’t fully control their son anymore. Yes. And they see he’s with a woman, presumably, you know, who will be his wife, and which is weird to have, like, a competition, but then they have this competition over it. Like, ” Oh, well, I know you better.

Oh, I did this,” and it’s okay, well, you’re two parts of my life, like, different. It’s- I’m choosing … it’s

Jen: so weird.

Christa: Yeah. The stories I get, it’s just, it’s wild.

Jen: Yeah, and there’s really nothing you can do. Like, I remember when I started dating Adam. He was like my first serious boyfriend. I was like… And I’d never met anyone’s parents before.

I was like, I need these people to love me. I need these people to think I am the greatest thing in the whole world. And then you kind of, like, act weird, and you overcompensate, and the vibes are kind of off. And in a situation like this, you’ve tried your hardest, I’m sure. At this point, I would just kind of like, for the rest of your relationship or the next couple years of your relationship, I would just show up but not overcompensate, and ‘ Cause you’re not gonna be able to win this race yourself.

Hopefully, one day she’ll wake up and realize like, oh my God, this is actually the person who’s gonna look after my son and all these things. But you really can’t change her mind till she’s ready for her mind to be changed.

Christa: Mm-hmm, yeah. And I think ultimately the son has to be the one that is a bridge and, keeps those boundaries, stands up for his wife, and, breaks up that communication or, like, makes the communication work.

Because if she’s going direct to the wife or the fiancée and saying all these things, like, the fiancée’s gonna feel, backed into a corner. It’s gonna feel very awkward and uncomfortable. So, like, he needs to be standing up for her and on the same page as her, otherwise… ‘Cause I’ve heard so many stories where, like, they’re like, “Oh, well, it’s my mom.

Well, it’s my mom.” And then they kind of just,Like, okay, well, does he not care about me? Because it’s like, he’s just gonna let his mom walk all over me or treat me this way, and it’s- And all the time

Jen: I know, and this is like one of the biggest fights I feel like Adam and I had when we first started dating was like, if something happened with his parents or like I would be like, “You need to stand up for me to your parents.”

 and he’d be like, “Well, it’s my parents.” I’m like, “I know, but like that whole dynamic of like I know they’re your parents and I love that they’re your parents, but like you also need to have my back, and you need to defend me and stand up for me and stuff like that.” And like that was tough. It was really tough, especially ’cause he’s a mama’s boy, and it was really tough to be like, “Okay, what is this dynamic gonna be?

What’s your role in it?” And- Mm-hmm … it’s awkward. Like, those were some of our early fights that took a long time for us to get on the same page. And even now, how he like approaches things with his parents when it’s about me, he walks a very fine, delicate line. Mm. and I understand that, but it’s a weird dynamic.

Christa: Yeah. it’s definitely interesting. I’ve heard so many stories and it’s like I always refer to her, but Dr. Tracy was on and she has a book called… Actually, I always mess up the name. It’s like Me, You and Your- Husband’s Mother or something like that. I can’t … Now I’m gonna, I’m gonna butcher it.

But, she talks about, like, the four or five types of mothers-in-law, and she’s like, “There’s the controlling one, the-

Jen: Mm-hmm …

Christa: victim.” You know, like, she breaks it up into, like, how they act when, a new person kind of comes into the family. Yes. But she does it in, in a very, like, healthy way of like, “Okay, well, this is why they’re reacting a certain way,” and, I don’t know, talk about the communication gap.

Protective Mom Or Future Problem? 

Jen: I’m just gonna say I’m not above being toxic to whoever my future child’s is with. I’m just gonna say, like, I am absolutely not above this because- … I’m so protective of her now, like, you should see how the claws come out on the freaking playgrounds. if she meets someone and she starts dating them, I am not trying to be their best friend.

I’m trying to be their worst enemy because I want them to know that, I will be watching you, and I will be hurting you if you ever hurt her. And if, God forbid, she tells me somebody she loves does something to her that’s not right, I will show up at their door. Like, I am not above being toxic in these situations, so, if part of-

Christa: Well, I don’t think you’d be toxic.

I think you’d be, like, protective. I think it’s different than toxic.

Jen: Yeah. Like, I

Christa: feel like I’m- Toxic is, like, causing drama for no reason, I would say. I would say.

Jen: Okay. yes, and there might be a little part of me that does a little bit of that ’cause I’m, gonna be, like, also mourning the fact that, she’s gonna be off with somebody else.

these are issues I’m gonna have to get a therapist to work through. Oh, my gosh.

Christa: No.

Jen: But I do think, like, I’m warm and welcoming to most people, but I will not be warm and welcoming to the people she dates.

Christa: See, I have a different approach. I want to be extra warm and welcoming- Mm … because of how I grew up.

I I was never comfortable bringing people I dated over to my house. So I felt like I had to always go somewhere else, and so I want my daughter to be like- Oh, that’s sweet … “Oh, this is the person I’m dating, and, they can come hang out, have dinner here.”

We’re gonna be like those fun parents, but not fun where, like, you can do whatever you want here, but, like- And of course, my daughter’s three. it’s gonna change- … a little bit. But you know what I’m saying. Like, this is, my vibe I want is, I want her to feel comfortable bringing people here, and I wanna be, like, fun.

They can trust me, I can trust them. But yes, if they, if the line gets crossed and my daughter says, “They did this to me,” I will never forget.

Jen: Okay, you know what? Like- Yes … you’re so right. I need to, remember this, ’cause, the key to parenting is that, you want them to come to you to tell you things, and they’re not gonna do that if you’re, acting crazy, and I am a naturally crazy acting person.

So you- Yeah … are so right. I need to sticky note this on my life, because you’re right. I’d rather her have the person here so I can watch very closely- Yes … than her and the person being so scared to come here, ’cause I’m like, “Ah.” So, yes.

Christa: Right, and like, “Oh, let’s just meet over here instead.” And yes, then they’ll come to your house.

Jen: You are 1000% right. That is, the secret of parenting that I need to, get my act together on.

Christa: Yes. For

Jen: sure.

Christa: Again, that’s my idea. it could change in, like, 10, 15 years from now. We’ll see. But-

Jen: No, I don’t think it will. I think, I’m gonna call you in 10 to 15 years and be like, “What is going on?

Are there cameras all around your house?” Like, are we- Like, what is the approach? I, this is the benefit of having a friend with a kid the same age. I’ll be like, “Let’s talk- Yes … about this new problem that we both have.”

Christa: What is going on right now? Yes, how do we handle this? I love it.

Jen: Mm.

Christa: So-

Jen: You’re gonna have to bail me out of jail in 10 to 15 years, okay?

‘Cause I’m gonna be taking a whole other approach. I’m gonna forget about this approach and take the other approach, and it won’t be good.

Christa: Oh my gosh. There’s many approaches.

Jen: Yes.

Christa: okay. It says, “The next day, the wedding day itself, she and my sisters-in-law didn’t even come say hi to me when I was getting ready.

One sister showed up wearing a sweatshirt and sweats, and the other was in leggings and a sweater for the wedding.” Okay, that’s a statement I mean, I don’t know what they normally wear, but anyone knows that you dress up a little bit, for a wedding? I mean, I don’t know what the wedding, where the wedding is, but at least put on, nice jeans.

The fact they’re wearing sweatshirt and sweatpants, that’s like what you wear to bed or lounging around your house or grocery s- shopping. They know

Jen: it. You know what? When you get dressed, you are making a statement with what you’re wearing, so they chose to do this to make a statement. However, they’re hurting themselves more than the person getting married, ’cause yeah, she’s gonna be upset, but like she’s gonna move on.

It’s every other guest that’s gonna be looking at you, talking about you, questioning what’s going on. So it’s like the statement you were trying to make isn’t gonna hit this way. Yep. And instead, it’s like just totally backfiring you. honestly, at this point, just don’t go to the wedding.

Christa: Yeah.

They, yeah, they look ridiculous. It’s the same- Yeah … if someone comes wearing a bridal gown to a wedding, like you look ridiculous. You look like a desperate housewife that, wants attention.

Jen: But it happens so often. I’m like, when you were choosing this outfit to wear today, like what was your purpose?

Because I see that so often. there’s so many weddings I go to where someone’s wearing like a white gown. I’m like, why? Just why? You know?

Christa: Yeah.

Jen: I don’t know.

Christa: it’s very odd. During the reception, my mother-in-law left multiple times to go to the gas station. Then she ended up leaving early altogether to go to a bar with her friends so she wouldn’t have to help clean up the venue.

Now, let’s fast-forward to last year. We had been no contact with my father-in-law since before the wedding, and we eventually found out that my mother-in-law had been struggling with a serious drug problem for 20 years- and had taken money from multiple people. We reached out to my father-in-law to talk through everything, and that’s when we finally learned what happened.

Here we go.

Jen: Mm.

Christa: After my husband had asked him about contributing to the rehearsal dinner, my mother-in-law had gone to him and told him that the cost we gave him was wrong, that it was actually almost double. That’s why he felt like we were lying and tried to take money from him. So there you have it.

First- We were right …

Jen: first of all, the stakes here have completely changed, and my heart goes out to everybody in this situation, including the people getting married and the mom with the drug problem, and it’s awful. This is so freaking awful, and- I just feel really bad for everyone involved in this situation, truly.

You know, when a person has such a severe drug problem, they make bad decisions, and they hurt the people they love. And They can’t see out of it. It’s not so black and white. you can’t just be like, “Why are you doing this? Stop doing this.” they are in completely other worlds.

Christa: Yeah.

Jen: And it’s so awful and hurtful, and I just feel really bad for everybody involved in this situation deeply. Right. And I’m glad they got some closure as to what happened with the dad. It sucks that relationship had to be so messed up because of a lie as well.

Christa: Mm-hmm. Yeah. It makes me wonder about, like, the sisters-in-law, like, why they still acted that way through everything,

Jen: Yeah. You know what? there’s a lot of things happening here, and I think the best thing that the couple can do is distance themselves as much as they’re comfortable, help if they can. But it added such a tough layer to the situation knowing that the mother was sick with this addiction, you know?

It’s just, like, not even just being a toxic person, she’s sick with something, so it’s heartbreaking. Mm. It’s heartbreaking. And, no one wants the happiest time of their life to be ruined by people who should be there for them. It just, it sucks. It truly sucks. Yeah.

Christa: Yeah, definitely. so last- Ugh,

Jen: God

Christa: last paragraph guys.

Jen: There’s more. How is there more? There’s one little paragraph. What else could happen?

Christa: It just says, “We later found out that my mother-in-law hadn’t even paid for the rehearsal dinner at all. It was actually my brother-in-law who had covered it, and he told us he spent almost three times what it actually cost because that’s what she told him it would be.”

So I’m wondering if, the mother-in-law was taking control of it and just told everyone what-

Jen: Yeah …

Christa: was owed, so he ended up giving her way more money. for reference, our rehearsal dinner only cost $1,500. But I guess he paid, 4,500. Is that what that is? Quick math. ” Needless to say, I never thought I’d have the crazy in-laws, but here we are.”

Jen: Yeah. Oof. I hope that the mother has gotten help. I hope that she is doing better. and I hope that maybe there’s a world in which as she gets better, she repairs some of these relationships or at least expresses that she is sorry. And, but it… Yeah, that is awful. Yeah. And not what anyone deserves, so it just truly sucks.

Yeah. And yeah, the sisters are still kind of a question mark in my head. where did you all come into play? But it does sound like it’s coming from the top, and probably the mom influenced them, and who knows what she told them. And-

Christa: Yeah …

Jen: you know, who knows? when you’re an addict, you have all these different things in motion, so, who knows what was said.

And maybe there’s- Right … a world in which this family repairs itself. But, Loaded

Christa: Yeah, I feel like if the father-in-law was so easily convinced by the mother-in-law that she also had said something to the sisters and was like, “Oh, this, you shouldn’t support this wedding,” or you know- Right … something or this was- Something

what the bride said, and yeah, so then they slowly kind of were like, “Well, we don’t want to be a bridesmaid,” or…

Jen: That’s awful. And again, like you can’t choose who you marry, and You choose who you marry. You can’t choose the family. You can just do the best you can with the family, with the most that you’re willing to do.

So the bride, like you entered all of this. You’re probably being so supportive to your husband, who is also dealing with his family. And, I just want you to know my heart goes out to you, and hopefully the next 5 to 10 years of your life don’t repeat what this whole situation was.

Christa: Yes. Yeah. Hopefully, she’s on the road to recovery and-

Jen: Mm-hmm

Christa: you know, repair relationships or at least just like get stronger with your husband and This says a year is still pretty fresh, I feel like. So time to kind of figure out who you want to allow in and how much of them you want to allow, for sure.

Jen: 1,000%. But wow, this one was loaded.

I was like, “Oh, cowboy boots. Okay.” Like, “We’ve got this.” Like, “They don’t want to wear it. Cool.” And then I’m like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.”

Christa: Complete left turn. Yeah.

Jen: For real craziness, but-

Christa: Never know where we’re gonna go- Oh … with these stories.

Jen: No. My heart goes out to them.

Christa: Oh, yes. well, thank you so much for coming on.

I’m glad we were able to reconnect. I know it’s funny ’cause when I was looking at what our last recording was, we were talking about how crazy schedules are and how to reschedule. And I’m like, I’m glad it worked out.

Jen: No, you know what? Like the craziest thing was like I, when I broke my toe in July, which sounds like nothing, but like I, you broke my big toe, which you need for everything.

So like, I just couldn’t do anything, and I still have my three-year-old that I’m with a lot, and it was just like, the life just became so weird for the month of July. I was like so out of it. But I feel like I’m coming back, and August is a new place.

Christa: Yes.

Jen: And I feel like things are getting in motion again.

But yeah, broken toe, three-year-olds, can’t do anything, was tough. But

Christa: we’re good. Oh, my gosh. We’re good. Yes. Life is wild. Well, as always, it’s so good to connect with you, and everyone, check out Jen’s book, Finally the Bride, and thanks for coming on.

Jen: Thank you so much for having me. This was so fun.

by Christa Innis

Wedding Dress Drama, Surprise Showers, and the Mother-in-Law Gone Rogue

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

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Remember who’s actually getting married. Otherwise, we would’ve printed your names bigger than the couple’s on the invitations.

For this episode, we’re holding late-night tea stories that make you want to put your “Hold Your Horses” T-shirt on and call it a day. I framed this episode around my birthday week, letting you all in on both the chaos of these stories and my busy schedule, along with the joy of marking another year.

I dive into three mini stories, starting with a wedding ceremony that had to be restarted because the groom’s grandparents were forgotten. Then, a maid of honor friendship falls apart after the groom criticizes her dress. Finally, we get into a mother who decides her daughter’s wedding is somehow her day too.

The main story follows a mother-in-law who completely takes over the wedding planning, from the bridesmaid group chats, bridal shower to the venue, and somehow makes the entire celebration about herself. We also wrap up with wedding confessions and a very important reminder to practice your first dance in the actual shoes you plan to wear.

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month! 

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • The Ceremony That Had to Start Over – A wedding where everyone forgot to make sure the groom’s grandparents were there, despite them raising him after his mother’s death.
  • The Dress That Ended a Friendship – A maid of honor loses a 10-year friendship after the groom contacts her to complain that her wedding dress is too revealing.
  • Apparently, It’s Mom’s Wedding Too – A mother demanded a bigger role in the wedding and insisted that she was losing her daughter.
  • Meet Jolene – An overbearing mother-in-law takes over the bridal shower, and inserts herself into the bridesmaids’ group chat.
  • The Shower Nobody Asked For – A mother-in-law trying to “help” turns into a church basement and a venue change that leaves guests driving over two hours.
  • Thanking Herself at the Shower – “Jolene” gives a speech thanking herself and her husband before casually mentioning that the bridesmaids “didn’t do much.”
  • The Wedding Was Apparently Optional – The mother-in-law shows up late and delays the ceremony so she can take photos with her son without the bride.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  • “ It’s a work in progress, so we can all get a little better.” 
  • “ Weddings and stressful  occasions do things to people.  But I also feel like there’s no excuse for it.” 
  • “ So practice your dance in the actual shoes you’re gonna wear.” 
  • “ The number one thing I hear is don’t waste your time  on favors. .”
  • “ Anyone that wants to actually host for someone  is going to make sure  it fits their, like, their wishes and what they like and what they enjoy.”

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

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Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis, and wow do I have major brain fog today. I’ve tried recording this three different times and it’s just all over the place. So today might be a little bit of a shorter episode, just because it’s currently 10:30 at night.

I still need to edit my skits. I filmed a long section today. It’s probably gonna be two or three parts. not 100% yet. Once I do the editing and stuff it kinda comes out later. Anyway, so I have to still do that. We are getting ready for a vacation that we are leaving on next week, so kind of getting all our ducks in a row for that, making sure work is, finished before we go, we’re all good to go there.

 and I just wanna be fully present. I know there’s a lot of people out there that are creators and they document everything and that’s great. I’m someone that would rather be fully present. and I’ll take pictures and stuff while I’m there but I’m not likeposting stuff. I kinda just do like my away posting, so I might post some like little things while I’m gone.

 and then I get back for three days and I leave again, but this time it’ll be for a solo trip. so there’s a lot going on. I feel like all of a sudden August got here and I’m like, “Oh my gosh, where is the time going?” I’m just trying to catch up and make sure I’m not missing anything. it’s just, it’s a wild time.

Tees for Tea Time

And if I seem all over the place, that’s why. I’m kinda like trying to file it all together up here. If you can see my shirt, you can only see the top here, but it says, “Hold your horses, I’m overstimulated.” It’s from, Anna Lee who does Along the Waves, on Instagram. She just has some great tips and great community for moms.

 and so I fell in love with this merch and I’ve been living in this T-shirt ‘ cause it’s how I feel. I feel very overstimulated a lot of the times. And it’s funny because people comment online and be like, “Oh, where’s this next part?” And that, I’m not talking about the people that are excited making kind comments or just like they’re excited for it.

 there’s always like a rough one out there that’s like, ” You only post one part,” or, “Oh my gosh, I had to wait, three days.” And I get it, it sucks when you have to wait for something. but for me it’s likeThere’s a lot of other things I’m trying to balance. Not to say other people aren’t, but this isn’t, the only thing I’m focusing on and, I like to be a very present mom.

 one of the things I do that I think is very different, I don’t know, I know there’s other people out that are like this, but very different than other creators out there is I don’t film in front of my daughter at all. So the only thing that she’s maybe seen me do is unboxing if someone sends me unboxing stuff if I think it’s something that she’ll enjoy.

She’s never in the footage. She’s not a part of it. She’s usually doing something else, and she might just be in the room and kinda see it. But other than that, I don’t film any skits in front of her. I don’t, script in front of her. She doesn’t see my content. So it’s a very separate thing. So when I’m with my daughter, I’m present with my daughter.

So people from the outside might see, like, a two-minute skit online and be like, “Well, she’s got 24 hours in the day. What is she doing if she can only do a two-minute skit?” And I’ve talked about it before, but it’s like behind the scenes it’s like the writing takes a couple hours. the filming takes a couple hours.

The editing takes, you know, an hour or so depending on it all. And I don’t want this to come off as I’m complaining or anything. I just kind of like, there’s so much that goes on behind the scenes that a lot of people don’t see, and I always feel the need to explain myself, and I kind of need to like step away from that because I realize, like I’m never gonna please everybody.

No one fully knows what my day-to-day is like. No one fully knows, what I’m doing throughout my day. And if I have a chance to be fully present and go do something with my daughter, I’m going to. That’s gonna always take priority. Or if she needs me, that’s gonna take priority. all the moms out there or parents out there listening can, hopefully understand that.

By the time this episode comes out though, I will be fully back, hopefully winding down a little bit, and it will come out during my birthday week, which is exciting, but it’s not like… You know, you get to a certain age and it’s just like, “Oh, it’s my birthday. Like, cool,” and then you like let it go. I do love celebrating.

I’d love doing something small usually with my family, but I think August was always like a fun time to have a birthday. but because of that, I’m gonna do things a little bit different. Like I said, it’s gonna be a little shorter today. But I was scrolling through my Instagram one day and I realized I had a hidden folder of all these submissions that people sent me, and they’re kind of like random.

Sometimes people will reply to a story and be like, “Oh my gosh, I have to tell you what happened to me.” So I’m gonna read three random ones that I got, and then of course, the very end I will react to a wild story submission and confessions. 

So let’s see what we got here. Okay. Here’s the first one. I’m also drinking my tea.

If you guys were with me for my last solo episode, I was also recording at night. This is my same bedtime tea, from Yogi. And you know what? This one has a little like tag in it. They all have a tag. It says, “Accept the challenge you are facing. It may become your greatest gift.” Ooh Think about that.

What’s your biggest challenge you’re facing?

Mine is balancing a million things and trying to stick to boundaries for my work and life, I would say. It’s like I’ll be really good one day about okay, I’m fully present with my family, and then the next I feel, guilty or like I need to catch up and, like, do other work stuff. So it’s a struggle, but, I’m getting there.

It’s a work in progress, so we can all get a little better

Okay. I always laugh at myself. I know this does not seem super, like, ordered. I do have notes, I promise, but sometimes I just like to chit-chat because these solo episodes are kind of like a chance toget it all out there and just be, real and just, chat with you guys. anyway, here we go.

Here’s the first one. “

DIY Weddings

 these are ones that were sent a while back and I found in my hidden folder. So here’s, like, a fun little mini story/confessions. Okay. When my niece got married, it was a very chaotic DIY event due to her lack of planning and her mother wanting to party the night away and let everyone else set up and clean up.

Another family member, my husband and brother-in-law’s sister’s husband, came up to Connecticut from Alabama to perform the ceremony, so the entire event was at a single location. Eventually, the groom and groomsmen were all lining up. The brother-in-law performing the ceremony is all set.

The wedding march begins Beautiful ceremony. All of a sudden, it starts all over again. Nobody made sure the groom’s grandparents that raised him after his mother was killed, whoa, brutally murdered, they took him in and his sisters. They did not make sure the grandparents were in attendance before starting the ceremony.

They stayed to watch the ceremony 2.0 and left in a huff right after, rightfully so. Mother of the bride bad-mouthed them the rest of the night, and father of the bride and I got the potluck set up and cleaned up to try to help recover. Amends were later made, but you still sense the hurt and anger over not caring enough to ensure the grandparents’ presence.

Yikes. I mean, it’s hard when there’s so much going on, but you would think the person that raised you would look for them first and find them there. I don’t know if they were walking him down the aisle. I’m guessing they weren’t … Like, how would you not notice if they were walking down the aisle?

But either way, you typically have, a spot in the front reserved for someone like that. and I don’t know who was in charge of being “Okay, Grandma and Grandpa are there.” You need to, have your eye on everybody to be like, “Okay, Aunt Carol, you’re gonna watch Grandma and Grandpa. Okay, Brother, you’re gonna watch Sister and nephew,” you know, whatever that is.

 but that sucks, and that sucks that they left later. I don’t know if they just didn’t come back then or what happened, but oh, geez. Okay, here’s the next one. Hi, Christa. I love your profile. I just lost a maid of honor one month before the wedding. while I was under therapy and high temperature, my husband called her to say that the dress that she bought for the church ceremony is far too provocative and revealing and not casual as invitations said, and she sent me an SMS not only canceling her coming to the church wedding, but also our 10-plus-year friendship.

Still in a state of shock as it helps to see that I’m not alone in this situation. Other people go through stress, too. Thank you

Wow. I have a lot to say about this. One, your husband never should have sent that text message, and I would be very angry at him because, one, it’s not his place to comment on another woman’s clothes, and two, especially not your maid of honor. Now, maybe you thought that yourself that she shouldn’t be wearing that dress to your wedding.

 I don’t know. If she was your maid of honor, did you have a dress for her to wear, or did you say, “Pick a certain dress,” and then she picked one, but the one she picked you didn’t like, or did your husband not like it? ‘ Cause that’s a bigger issue if your husband’s like, I have a problem with your maid of honor’s dress,” and then he took it upon himself when you were in under therapy, I’m guessing you were sick maybe, and he called to say that.

I would be extremely offended if my friend’s husband or fiancé called me and said, ” Hey, your dress is too provocative. Change it.” I’d be like, ” Excuse me?” Like, one, I’m dressing for my friend. I’m not dressing for my friend’s husband, and two, you should not be commenting on it. So I feel like this message, although she’s not asking for input, but I’m just like this is, just part of what I’m doing, right?

 part of this message is missing a lot. I need to know more context here. I’m kind of in support of the maid of honor. I don’t know your full friendship. I mean, 10 years of friendship, you would hopefully know each other pretty well, and you would hope you would support each other. However, that really rubs me the wrong way, the husband contacting the maid of honor and saying it’s far too revealing.

You never once say what your thought on the matter was, just what he did, and that you’re shocked that she ended the friendship. So without giving too much detail, this was sent to me over a year ago. So I wanna know if there’s a little bit of an update, and if you can give me more context to this because I need to know why he did this and why he thought it was appropriate.

Did you tell him to do this? Did you make a comment about her dress? What dress was she wearing? not what dress was she wearing, like I care if it’s revealing or not. Was she told to pick out a dress, or does she have a dress already? You know, that kinda thing. but that does suck. That sucks when you lose a maid of honor, but chances are she was after that comment he made, she’s like, “Well, I don’t support them getting married because I don’t want her to be with someone that’s gonna act that way.”

Oh, gosh. Okay. We got one more mini, and then we got the full story submission Sorry, guys. I feel like by the end of the night my voice gets so crackly because I’ve just been, like, talking all day, and I never just rest my voice. also another thing I forgot to say is, I’m filming, I’m editing the Scarlett skit, but, again, by the time you guys hear this, I’m not sure what skit I’ll be doing.

That’s another thing that’s behind the scenes is when I’m away, obviously I can’t film, and I’m not going to, so my plan is to, like, just post minis while I’m gone and I… but I have to, tie off this skit. So there’s a lot of planning that goes into it, and I know people will complain ’cause they’ll be like, ” What happened to the Scarlett skit?

“It’s My Day Too” Email 

What are these minis?” And so I’m just bracing myself. Anyway, okay, last one. ” Hi, Christa I’d love to share with you my wedding experience that I had with my mother. Keep in mind, my relationship with her is better, but the whole wedding process was a pain. It all started when before my now husband and I were engaged, I was explaining to my sister about a venue we had in mind. We saw it at a vegan pop-up we were at. I am vegan. And my mom immediately yelled at me in front of my whole family and cousin who was in town, saying I need to think of my guests. From that moment on, I knew I needed to just keep decisions between me and my husband.

We got engaged. We got the venue right away, a different one than the original one we planned, the date, and lots of other little things. We planned our vegan caterer. I tried to reach out to my mom a lot, but she would either not respond or not be helpful, so I was done reaching out. Be in mind, I gave her a big job, which was to do the decorations.

A few months before the wedding, I get this big, long email saying that I left my mom out, that it wasn’t just my day, that it was her day, too, because she was giving up her daughter. That’s a new one. Okay. And that it was going to be hard to be excited over my wedding because of it. I cried so hard that after I tried to keep her involved as possible, but she would always make side comments.

She did get better as the wedding got closer, especially ’cause she saw it was hurting me, but it was a wild time. Wait, who sent her the message? It doesn’t even say. It just says I got a long email saying I was leaving my mom out. Who sent you the email? okay. A lot to say here. First of all, I’m sorry that this happened.

Second of all, the fact that your mom is … It sounds like she started off by giving her opinion, and then realized her opinion wasn’t gonna go too far, and I kind of, respect that you had a good boundary and you were like, “You know what? I’m gonna just plan stuff with my husband.” As it should be, right? You only invite people in for what you want help with, right?

 but Now she’s, not gonna respond to you because she’s not getting what she wants. She’s not getting her way. Again, with the email, who sent this email? Because it was her day too, because she’s giving up a daughter. That’s, that’s not a thing. you’re still her daughter. and that it was hard to be excited because of it.

So she ultimately, made herself a victim to someone, and either told them to send the email or complained enough that they were like, “I need to send an email to this bride,” and then guilted you into involving her again. There’s no apology. There was just you pulling her back in because you felt bad.

 I’m sorry that happened. That is a wild time. I mean, weddings and stressful occasions do things to people, for sure. But I also feel like there’s no excuse for it. I think you can also, like, come back and be like, “I’m sorry,” apologize for acting a certain way, but All right, guys, I gotta get to this story

I promise I’m gonna try to stop doing the nighttime recordings, but sometimes it’s the only time I can record, and it’s kind of, like, relaxing for me to just read some stories. All right, here we go.

Church Basement Surprise 

 I was a bridesmaid in my close friend’s wedding last year. I knew she and her mother-in-law didn’t get along, but I had no idea how bad it was until we went through the planning process. For context, the bride’s mom had passed away during COVID due to cancer complications and contracting COVID.

Oh my gosh. After her mom passed, her future mother-in-law really overstepped trying to replace her. Fast-forward to the wedding planning. One day, her mother-in-law created a group chat with all the bridesmaids. We got this message from an unknown number, and it was so long you had to click it and scroll forever to read the whole thing.

How did the mother-in-law get all the bridesmaids’ phone numbers? That’s weird. Oh my gosh. Long story short, while asking to take over planning the shower, she also trauma dumped about all her personal health and family issues. Throughout the message, she repeatedly insists she wasn’t overstepping, while very clearly overstepping.

If you have to say you’re not overstepping, you’re very clearly overstepping. And she said she wanted to plan the shower to take it off our plate. We were actually really excited to plan it, but we were open to sharing responsibilities if it made things easier. We sent her a few affordable venue options we had found, places like a local veteran center or small function hall since the bridesmaids were planning to split the cost.

Immediately, we received another long message from her saying she couldn’t afford a fancy venue, even though none of the a-options were fancy and she was furious. She called her son and yelled at him for two hours, claiming the bridesmaids were being over the top and asking for too much for a shower the bride didn’t even need.

Why is she wanting to be involved in a shower for the bride if the bride doesn’t need it? Don’t be involved then. Eventually, he calmed her down, and she sent us another message saying she had found a free venue. The venue? The basement of her church. I said this is like a skit and someone was like, “What?”

But it happens. People do, like, receptions and events in the basement of their church This was an immediate red flag. The bride had only ever been in a church once, for her mom’s funeral. On top of that, her mother-in-law asked us to keep the location a secret because it was supposed to be a surprise. The problem, the bride hated surprises.

Know your audience. We kept the details minimal, but gave the bride a heads-up about the date so she could request time off work. A few weeks later, we get to the bachelorette trip. After a few drinks, I accidentally let it slip that the shower was at a church. The bride immediately panicked, called her fiancé, and asked us to change the venue.

Oh, no. Honestly, okay, here’s the thing. I am really good at keeping surprises. or keeping secrets. I did my husband’s 30th birthday surprise, and it was so hard, but I did. I did my parents’ anniversary surprise with my siblings years ago, and it was hard, but we did it. And I hate when people, like, spoil things, right?

But this is one where if I knew my friend would not like it, and I knew someone else was taking over, after a few drinks, I would maybe spill the beans too, just to be like, “Hey, are you, cool with this, or do you want me to, like, do something about it?” of course, we were willing to accommodate, but we were very nervous about dealing with her mother-in-law again.

 At that point, we started a separate group chat and jokingly named it Operation Jolene. I had to make sure the name was actually changed, and it is. I’ll call her Jolene from here. The groom told Jolene that we couldn’t host the shower at the church due to the bride’s wishes.

Once again, I received a message from Jolene accusing us of talking behind her back, saying she felt betrayed because we ruined the surprise. Here’s the thing. If you already weren’t really a part of the group, you pushed your way into the bridesmaid group chat. They’re not talking behind your back. They literally already had the bridesmaid group, and you were pushing your way in Then in the same message, she casually mentioned she was planning to pay for the couple’s honeymoon, but didn’t trust us to keep a secret, even though she had just told us.

We apologized for making her feel out of the loop again and offered to pay for a venue ourselves. Before we even had a chance to look for an alternative, she went ahead and booked a new venue. It was at a gun club over two hours away from most of our guests. Some people should not be involved in planning events.

They’re just not good at it, and I would be very annoyed being a part of this wedding. Because of that, several people couldn’t attend, but she refused to budge. On the day of the shower, we arrived two hours early to help set up per her request. Two hours early. Oh my gosh

She immediately started barking orders at us, telling us exactly how to decorate using hundreds of dollars worth of decor, even though she had previously said she couldn’t afford anything. The bride is very shy. She didn’t wanna open gifts or play games, but Jolene insisted. So this is Jolene’s party.

This is not the bride’s party. Anyone that wants to actually host for someone is going to make sure it fits their wishes and what they like and what they enjoy. You’re not gonna make them uncomfortable and do a party that caters to you. Then she gave a 10-minute speech Guys, I can’t.

Thanking herself and her husband, talking about losing her oldest son to marriage, and recognizing only her side of the family. This is really rough. After an awkward silence, she briefly thanked the bridesmaids and added that we didn’t do much, but appreciated that we showed up. This can’t be real

I am like picturing The witchiest person Like, oh, before you guys leave, I just want to thank you guys so much for attending my party. I put a lot of hard work in it, and it spent, hours finding, the perfect location and all this stuff, and my amazing husband for doing whatever I said during these last couple of weeks.

And, oh yeah, and these, ladies over here, the bridesmaids, you didn’t really do much, but thanks for being here anyway. Like, what? And honestly, that was just the beginning. at the rehearsal dinner, she was black-out drunk, talking badly about the bride to me and my fiancé.

On the wedding day, she showed up late and delayed the ceremony so she could take photos with her son without the bride. I can picture her. I can literally picture her. The event coordinator spent the entire night trying to manage her and had to remind her at least five times the wedding was not about her.

There are so many more stories, but that was just a glimpse into the chaos she brought to the entire wedding process. Oh my gosh. If that story is from one of the bridesmaids, I can only imagine what the bride has to say about all this. The fact that they already didn’t get along great, and then I don’t know when the bride’s mom passed away, but I’m guessing it was pretty soon before the wedding.

And so for the mother-in-law just to come in, take over the wedding, start her own group chat with the bridesmaids is so ridiculous. But this is the over-the-top mother-in-law character that we’ve talked about and that we’ve seen. This is the one where, like, when I’ve done skits, people are like, “Oh, this is so dramatic,” and people are like, “No, this actually happened to me.”

This is so wild. I mean, I wanna know from the bride’s perspective if they ever, put her in her place and were like, “Hey, we’re not going to allow you to do this.” And it’s also awkward as a bridesmaid when someone comes in, because you hear things from the bride or from your friend.

Maybe if they’ve, like, had arguments or just don’t get along. So it’s like you don’t really know your place with, saying certain things. Now, if I had someone talking badly about my friend, then yes, I would directly be like, ” “Hey,” “no,” “let’s knock that shit off, please.” But the other things of, her taking over the bridal shower, I’m like, I don’t know.

Like, do you wanna host a shower? it would definitely annoy me though. Cause I’ve been a part of a lot of bridal showers, and people do come in at the 11th hour and they’re like, “We should change it. We should do this instead. How about we go to my uncle’s cabin?” And you’re like, ” We already have a full shower over here that we’re doing, so no thank you.”

 Guys, people are wild. Let me know what you guys think. What would you do in this scenario? Because I’m a little stumped. When you’re the bridesmaid, it’s hard. You only have so much say. Like I said, I would definitely tell … if the mom’s talking crap to me about the bride, I would say something.

But I think it needs to be brought to her attention about how she’s acting and starting this group chat. come on, you don’t need to be in a group chat with the bridesmaids. Oh, Lord have mercy. Okay, let’s get to some confessions, and then we’ll call it a night. What’s a wedding detail that you stressed over that no one noticed?

This person said, “The napkins.” “The flowers at the end of each pew, total waste of time and money.” Escort cards, and I’m in the wedding stationery business.” ” I put fish on the menu but accidentally ordered chicken.” So she, like, wanted a special meal. ” The darn favors. That was 26 years ago when they were still the thing.”

That’s, like, the number one thing I hear, is don’t waste your time on favors. I don’t regret mine still, though. We did decks of cards, and we did have some left over, but, like, I feel like that’s one of those things where you can just, toss it in a bag. You know, it’s good to have a deck of cards, but maybe I’m just saying that ’cause it’s mine.

It doesn’t have, like, our name or our face on it. It’s just, like, a cute deck of cards that, like, went with the theme. envelope liners. Actually, we were at our friend’s house last weekend, and we were all gonna play Spoons, and they pulled out the deck from our wedding. So I was like, “Oh my God, someone’s using it.”

Envelope liners. Don’t even know what that is because I’m not classy. What is that? Oh, is that those things that, like, the sheet that goes over… I should know this. I don’t know. My bridesmaids’ flowers were in ombre order from dark pink to light pink to meet with white.

That’s a lot of effort. Not having speeches. Decor on reception tables. My bridesmaid shoes, dresses were black, red shoes, nobody saw them. I was just thinking that the other day. Someone, wrote in and she was talking about how her mother-in-law made comments about the shoes she chose as a bride. She was like, “Oh, those are cheap,” or, “It’s, like, a bad brand.”

But I’m like, you never see the bride’s shoes. unless you’re taking photos in the beginning and you’re holding your dress up or they’re doing, like, the setup photos where the shoes are in them, you do not see them. I wore heels for walking down the aisle at the ceremony, and then when we leave the reception, I put on wedge sneakers because I knew I’d be running around, and it was the best decision.

The only regret I have is when my husband and I practiced our first dance, I had different wedge sneakers that were, like, dirty as shit. I wore it, all the time. and so I got white ones for the wedding day that were a little bit… I wanna say they were a little taller. I don’t know. They were different height, so I kept tripping on my dress.

So practice your dance in the actual shoes you’re gonna wear. that’s, my TED Talk today. All right, guys. That’s all I got for today. Thanks for hanging out with me. Sorry for the raspy voice. Sorry for the late-night, chatter. A lot going on, but a lot of exciting things coming for you guys. and I’m excited to put more things out there.

Thanks for being here, and I will see you next time. Bye now.

by Christa Innis

Wedding Date Battles, Friendship Feuds, and Photographer Nightmares with Samantha Blake

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

Get the book!

She booked the wedding date, only the whole month is included.

I am joined by Samantha Blake to share how her love for dramatizing everyday absurdities turned into viral content, starting with her Coldplay CEO satirical video. Together we dive into the world of mothers and the weird assumptions strangers make on them and their kids.

Samantha then shares her own wedding photography nightmare, where it unleashed harassment of a maid of honor, leading to legal threats, and a mother-in-law who completely hijacked her wedding cake.

To top off more wedding dramas, we read a listener’s submission about two brides whose wedding dates turned an entire friend group upside down. Sparking questions about entitlement, and whether anyone can really claim a wedding season.

Is wedding planning bringing out the worst in people, or simply revealing who they really are?

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month! 

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • Dibs on a Wedding Month – Christa reads a listener submission where two brides, one wedding season, and mutual friends create a friendship showdown.
  • Main Character Syndrome – Christa and Samantha debate whether wedding planning is bringing out the worst in some brides, or simply revealing who they really are.
  • Pregnancy Doesn’t Erase Boundaries – With strangers rubbing baby bumps and making bizarre assumptions, they unpack the entitlement pregnant women often face.
  • Wedding Client From Hell – An overbearing mother of the bride crosses every professional boundary, pushing Samantha to involve lawyers.
  • From Viral Joke to Viral Creator – Samantha shares how one satirical Coldplay CEO TikTok unexpectedly launched her storytelling career.
  • Coffee Thrown While Pregnant – A customer wrongly assumes Samantha is using drugs, then throws hot coffee at her after learning the bruises were actually from blood work.
  • One-Take Storytelling – Samantha reveals the simple routine behind her viral storytelling style and why authenticity beats perfection every time.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  • “There’s truth to every story, but there’s also some exaggeration.” – Christa Innis
  • “You have to go no contact with someone that risks your mental health.” – Christa Innis
  • “We’re gonna have our thing that when they’re older they’re gonna complain about.” – Christa Innis
  • “Different people want different vibes for weddings.” – Christa Innis
  • “We always have to take with a grain of salt when we get stories and when we share them” – Christa Innis
  • “I see what you can do to people you care about, so I’m not letting you close to me.” – Samantha Blake
  • “It’s okay to realize that people are different..” – Samantha Blake
  • “Just because you would have kids at your wedding doesn’t mean that they should also feel that way.” – Samantha Blake
  • “When you’re willing to speak your mind, you tend to piss people off a lot because they’re not used to being called out on their behavior”  – Samantha Blake
  • “Sometimes you watch the bride walking down the aisle, and everybody’s staring at their screen. The event is happening in front of you, and you’re missing it.” – Samantha Blake

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

About Samantha

Samantha Blake is a storyteller and writer who built her following by turning everyday chaos into unforgettable narratives. She began writing books as a kid and carried that love of words into content creation during COVID, when she started sharing wild experiences from her years in the restaurant industry. Her viral Coldplay CEO satire drew thousands of followers who connected with her bold one‑take style and sharp humor. Today she mixes personal encounters with audience submissions, and continues to write with the same fearless honesty that defines her storytelling.

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Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi, Sam. Thank you for being here. 

Samantha Blake: Of course. I’m happy to be here. I’m nervous a little bit, too. 

Christa Innis: Don’t worry. I always tell people, I’m this is, a good, first podcast, Mm-hmm. We just, like, hang out. It’s nothing, I don’t know. I don’t consider myself super, like, professional when it comes to podcasts.

I’m just like, hang out and tell some wild stories, and I know you have your fair share. but before we get to that, can you kind of start talking about how you got into storytelling, and just a little bit about you? 

The Love for Dramatic Story Telling

Samantha Blake: okay. I have been… I love telling stories. I think that I’m very, like, charismatic and over the top, and I’ve always been accused of being, like, dramatic, you know?

But it’s just because you have to put emphasis on things. Like, the story’s boring if somebody’s talking in monotone. so even from a young age, I would, like, write books, telling stories, all that stuff. The content creation portion of it came during, I don’t know, probably, like, the end of COVID, where I was just bored and I started telling stuff about, experiences as a bartender or as a server, and it kind of just, like, slowly built up.

And 

 Coldplay was doing a concert and then the couple was, I think… I might lose you. It says my Internet’s unstable, but it’s storming here. 

Christa Innis: Okay. You froze for, like, a second, but now you’re back. 

Samantha Blake: Okay. but when that whole thing with, like, the couple and the Coldplay jumbotron went viral- 

Christa Innis: Yeah … 

Samantha Blake: I posted a video just being like, as the wife of somebody married to the CEO,” right?

And I worded it in a way that people would think that I was also married to this man. I wasn’t, I was just talking about narcissists. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Samantha Blake: That’s when it blew up and people just finally found my page and started following me and stuff. But, I do it for fun. I do it as, like, a little side gig.

Just something where people write in and they tell me their crazy stories and I tell them, so. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. And you talk about working- Yeah … in the restaurant industry. I worked in the restaurant industry years ago when I was in college, and I think my, first job ever when I was 16 was in the restaurant industry.

I feel like that alone you could probably tell stories for, like, days on end. Forever. … people are wild in the rest- like, you have to deal with so much working- 

Samantha Blake: Yes … in a restaurant. Yeah. And that’s like, it’s so funny to me ’cause people are like, “This isn’t real. It’s gotta be made up.”

And I’m like, ” No.” Like, “This person really did throw their coffee at me while I was pregnant.” Like, these are real stories. Oh 

Christa Innis: my gosh. People are crazy. Do you tell a lot of your own stories or do you get, like, a mix of, your stories and then people send you stories? 

Samantha Blake: mostly my own. I won’t lie, I’m running out, because, yes, 

I just turned 39 the other day, and I started working in the industry when I was 15, so forever essentially. Mm-hmm. So a lot of them are my own. maybe about 25% come from followers, and then the rest are just mine. Or, I’ll write stories, and then I’ll, hashtag skit so people know that it’s made up.

Christa Innis: Yeah. But- Oh my gosh … 

Samantha Blake: yep. 

Christa Innis: It’s funny, we were just talking about before recording how, like, we’ll post a story and people are like, “There’s no way this could happen,” you know? And, like, wondering, like, if we know it’s true. And I always like to say, too, it’s like when someone sends in a story, you’re only getting, like, their perspective.

So it’s like- 

Samantha Blake: Mm-hmm … 

Christa Innis: I could go to the store and a woman could look at me, and in my mind I’m like, “Oh, she’s giving me a weird look.” But then in that lady’s mind, she’s like, “Oh, well, that woman’s looking at me…” You know, like, everyone has their own perspective- 

Samantha Blake: Yeah … 

Christa Innis: of, like, based on their own experience or how their day is going.

Yeah. So I’m like, if we get a story from a bride, she could tell us, you know, ” Oh, all these people were horrible to me.” But then we could get a story from, someone was at the wedding and they’re like, “No, this bride was super weird.” 

Samantha Blake: Yeah. 

Christa Innis: So- Yeah … I feel like we always have to take with a grain of salt when we get stories and when we share them, ’cause it’s like, yeah, there’s truth to every story, but there’s also, like, some exaggeration or something- 

Samantha Blake: Yeah

Christa Innis: good, making it a more interesting story of course. But yeah, it’s just interesting. 

Samantha Blake: But that’s the fun of it all- Mm … in my opinion, ’cause, like, you can hear the story where the bride was awful, and maybe she wasn’t that bad, but maybe to some people she was. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Samantha Blake: So I like the more, exciting stories.

Like, if that bride was crazy and she was cussing people out, I’m gonna tell it in that version. Like- Yes … I’m gonna cuss with everyone else too. 

Christa Innis: Exactly, yes. you had someone throw a cup of coffee at you when you were pregnant. Working? 

Samantha Blake: Yes. Okay, so I had gone in, 

Do you have kids? 

Christa Innis: Yeah, I do. I have one toddler. Yep. 

Samantha Blake: You know how they do the glucose testing and you have to drink the orange, like, ugh? 

Christa Innis: Yes. 

Motherships and Strangers

Samantha Blake: So I failed my glucose test, so then I had to go in for a three-hour one. And when you go in for a three-hour one, they poke you every- They do that too … I think it’s, like, every hour or something.

Yeah. Yes. So, yeah. So then I had to go in for that, and I have, there are, like, surface veins, and they roll really easily, so when they try to poke me they’re boiling veins. I’ll leave a room, this is graphic, but it looks like a CSI crime scene ‘I’m just, like, bleeding everywhere. Mm-hmm. So I’ll bruise horrifically. And I was at work the following day, and this lady, I was taking her coffee order, and I rolled up my sleeve ’cause it was hot, and she saw my bruises. And she grabs my wrist and pulls my arm towards her, and she’s like, “No, no, no, honey. You can’t be doing this, not when you have God’s gift growing in your belly,” and all this stuff.

And I’m confused what she’s talking about. Mm. And then I looked down at my arm and I notice she’s talking about my bruises. And there are two paths I could have taken. One could have been, “Hey, no, that’s actually from blood work,” and then the other is, ” Okay, you’re gonna assume that I’m using- Right so I’m gonna play up on that.”

So I was like, “Oh, it’s the only way I can forget how horrible my husband is to me,” and all this stuff, and just playing along with it because you’re being judgemental in my opinion. Yeah. So you’re gonna learn a lesson really quick. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Samantha Blake: I bring her out. She’s like, “I’m gonna pray for you,” and, “God loves you,” all this stuff.

And my coworker calls out her coffee and she hands it over, and the lady’s like, “Oh, please take care of Samantha over there. she needs help and she needs somebody who’s gonna bring her to rehab,” all this stuff, like, going off. And my coworker, her name’s Amanda, Amanda’s like, ” Sam?” Like, “Oh, no, she had blood work done yesterday.

 that girl could not get blood drawn to save her life. She bruises like crazy.” This woman’s personality switched like that. She was just like, ” F you.” Like- Oh … “What a horrible person I am.” And I’m sitting there, I’m like, ” You assumed.” Mm. You’re the one. Like, I just kind of… Right. This is your fault. And she ended up throwing her hot coffee at me-

like, while yelling at me about the fact that I shouldn’t have made her feel that way. I should have let her know immediately- Oh my- … that it wasn’t. I was like, ” you should have just known that’s what it was.” 

Christa Innis: And why was that her first thought? 

Samantha Blake: Like- I don’t know. That- 

Christa Innis: go, I’m like, it-

is a wild assumption. 

I would never see that on someone’s arm and be like, “Oh my gosh, they must be using.” that would- Right … never be my first thought. 

Samantha Blake: Mm-mm. 

Christa Innis: And so- 

Samantha Blake: No, and even if it was, I don’t think I would say it 

Christa Innis: And I would ne- yes, I would not say… But, like, in general too, I was just talking to someone about how people, when you’re pregnant and when you have kids, the things they say that’s just like- Maybe not.

Like, no joke Mm-hmm … this just happened yesterday. I was outside the library with a friend of mine, and our daughters are around the same age. They’re just running in the yard, whatever. This older couple is walking by, and this lady turns and she goes, “Oh, there’s her mother.” She’s like, “I thought she was alone for a second.

I got excited.” No joke, said, “I got excited. I thought she was alone.” Oh, really? Yes, ’cause we’re standing there talking and our kids are, like, kinda up in the field. and my friend just kinda, like, looked, and she just smiled. She’s like, “Yeah, she likes running off.” And then she walked away, and I go, “What?

What did she just say?” And she’s like, ” I didn’t know how to respond to it ’cause it happened so quickly.” Mm-hmm. And then this older- they’re walking by, and they keep looking over at her. not like I think they’re actually gonna do something, but why say something so… Like, you’re gonna kidnap her because she was 11?

Samantha Blake: Like- Right. What does I got excited mean? 

Christa Innis: Like, it was 

Samantha Blake: the weirdest thing. Oh, kids are so freaking weird. 

Christa Innis: Yes. So weird. I 

Samantha Blake: when I was, super pregnant, like, 800 years essentially is what it felt like- 

Christa Innis: Yeah … 

Samantha Blake: I was at the grocery store with my dad, and this lady came up and she starts rubbing my belly.

That’s another thing I don’t understand- No … is like, this is still my body. Like, you can’t- Yeah … just touch it because there’s a baby in there. 

Christa Innis: It’s such a weird concept. And- Yeah … 

Samantha Blake: it is. And she’s, like, rubbing my belly, and She looks at my dad, “Oh, you must be so excited. You must be so excited for this baby.”

Again, two paths I could choose. One, I could say, this is my dad, or two, I could play up on this. And I’ve worked on it. I didn’t have a verbal filter when this was happening. I was only 21. And I was like, “Yeah.” But I’m like, “I just don’t know if I get to be the mom or the sister this time.” And she goes on, I’m like, “This is my dad.”

And she lost it on me. Like, “I can’t believe that you wouldn’t tell me this is your dad.” I’m like, “I can’t believe you came up here touching my belly and then just assumed that this 50-year-old man I’m with is, is the dad.” Like, it’s so weird to me the things that people just say. 

I just look younger for my age. I don’t know if that’s the case now, but when I was 21, I definitely didn’t look 21. So when I had my son, everybody’s like, ” Oh, you must be the babysitter. You must be the nanny.” I’m like, “No, this is my kid.” And there was a time where I was grocery shopping and he was in the cart, like, I don’t know, from me, two feet away, and I was grabbing something off of one of the bottom shelves.

This woman starts freaking out. ” Where is this kid’s mother? He’s here alone.” He’s, like, maybe eight or nine months, and she’s, ” Where is…” And I’m like, again, I could say That’s my baby,” or I could go off with this. And I was just like, “Oh my God. Somebody left their baby here unattended.” And this woman and I walked around the, grocery store looking for the mother of this baby until

Until he ran into my mom, ’cause I was grocery shopping with my mom, and she’s like, ” Samantha Anne, you tell this woman right now that this is your son, and stop it.” Oh. She got mad at me too, but I don’t know. I’m a firm believer that if you’re gonna make stupid assumptions, I’m just gonna play along, and- 

Christa Innis: That’s kind of-

Samantha Blake: you’re gonna leave feeling dumb … a 

Christa Innis: good idea. See, I would… And that, it’s funny. I was saying to my friend yesterday, I always, like, when things happen, after the fact, I’m thinking of all these things I could have said or done. In the moment- Mm-hmm … I’m so bad about, thinking quickly. ‘ Cause I would- Mm-hmm

always have the, comment of, like, ” Are you sure it’s not twins? You sure it’s not twins?” 

Samantha Blake: 

Christa Innis: I had, like, close, family members that would say it here and there, but I’d just, like, let it slide. But then I remember getting my, pedicure, the week before. I was 10 days past my due date.

Samantha Blake: That’s horrible … 

Christa Innis: yeah, and they were like, “No, you’re definitely having twins. Like, you’re huge. You’re definitely having twins.” And I’m like, I’m short. I got a short torso. I assumed I was gonna get pretty, big, but it’s just wild the things that people will say.

And they’re like, “No, there’s has to be twins in there.” Yeah. And I was like, “Well, I guess if I have two, I’ll be double the joy in there. I don’t know.” Right. But I’m like, They’ve checked multiple times. I’m pretty sure it’s just 

Samantha Blake: I don’t understand, the audacity.

I’m like, where are people finding all of this? 

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Samantha Blake: You know what I… Like, where do you find the audacity that you have? I need to know. I need some more. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Samantha Blake: So 

Christa Innis: I don’t know if I have, like, RBF or something, Luckily, I never had anyone come up… I think one time I had someone come up and touch my daughter’s foot when she was really little, and I kind of just, like, moved the stroller.

I’m like, “Hey.” But for the most part, I got no one that I didn’t know touch, my belly. Mm-hmm. And I’m like, I don’t know if I was just like, don’t come near me.” ‘ Cause I don’t know, it is such a weird thing that people just feel okay to touch someone else’s body. Yeah.

Like, that’s just so odd to me. 

Samantha Blake: I always say it’s probably where I grew up, because, my hometown, it was questionable where we grew up. So- 

even, like, when I tell the stories about the restaurants and the bars, people are like, ” That’s not true.” I’m like, Go visit, okay?

And then you’re gonna see it is true.” Like- 

Christa Innis: Yeah … 

Samantha Blake: but I don’t know. 

Christa Innis: So you said when you, started to go viral when you shared p- pretending to be like Coldplay, 

Samantha Blake: Yeah … 

Christa Innis: debacle, the wife of the CEO. 

Samantha Blake: yeah. It was just the way… I, did, like, a little, wording. I said, “As somebody who was married to the CEO of whatever.”

Yeah.actually, you know what? I said just the CEO. ” As somebody who was married to the CEO, kudos to her for getting out.” Something like… Or, “Coldplay did her a favor.” 

Christa Innis: Yes. 

Samantha Blake: So this was a year ago. And I had been making content for a while, but never with the intent to actually have a following and, I would just talk about my time at the gym.

It was more like a diary than anything. And then maybe a few- Mid-July, ’cause I posted it on my birthday too, so it was July 18th of last year- 

Christa Innis: Funny … 

Samantha Blake: that I posted the whole Coldplay thing. But maybe, like, end of June, early July, I started using the format that I do now, where I’m just talking to my camera, telling stories. but that one with the Coldplay, I think I got, 10,000 followers off of it. It was just a quick little two-second thing. I took my camera, set it up on my car, so it was just me, for a quick second showing my face. And It was so funny, because people were like, ” You weren’t really married to the CEO.

Like, you weren’t his real life, or his real wife.” And I’m like, ” I know 

Christa Innis: this,” like. But- Some people do not get satire, no matter how much you put- Mm-hmm … hashtag satire, this is satire, like anything. ‘ Cause I even did, you know that, like, current trend where it’s, five things worth the money? 

Samantha Blake: Yes. And someone- I saw your video.

Christa Innis: Did y- Okay. Yeah, where I just, like, for anyone listening that hasn’t seen it, it’s like, “Oh, it’d be so funny ‘Cause I’ve seen a s- few influencers do it, where it’s, like, so out of touch. Yeah. Like, they’re like, ” Oh, this…” And I’m like, The things they mention cost thousands of dollars.

That’s not relatable to people. So I was like, “Oh, it’d be really funny to do it as, like, an out-of-touch bride,” and I just had a bride story about this bridezilla that wants, these outrageous things. So I was like, “Oh, it’d be really funny just to, like, Oh, a helicopter ride to your reception.'”

And I had people that were like, You know what? You’re focusing way too much on things that don’t matter. You should focus on the marriage.” And someone else was like, “This is just ridiculous.” And I had to reply, I was like, “This is satire. I- 

Samantha Blake: Yeah … don’t 

Christa Innis: recommend any of these things.” Yeah.

“I can’t afford any of these things.” so it was just kind of funny how, like, people take things very seriously when it comes before reading the caption or just, “Wait a second, would someone actually come on and say you should do this?” I don’t know. 

Samantha Blake: Right.

Yeah. And it’s like I’m sure that you probably have followers who are like, “Hey, this is actually just a joke. this isn’t something she believes,” and stuff like that, and they comment back for you in a way. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Samantha Blake: I’ve found that upsets the original commenter more. 

Christa Innis: Yes. I have noticed that.

 it doesn’t make sense to me, ’cause, somebody will be like, There’s no way this story is real,” and it will be some crazy thing. I’ll hashtag the word skit or story time or something like that and it’s, like, known on my page that’s a fake story. 

Samantha Blake: and they’ll be like, “This isn’t real.

There’s no way.” And they’re going off on me about, I don’t know, they’ll just name call or say something stupid. And then people, like my original followers, will be like, ” Actually, she hashtagged the word skit And then they’re mean back, and I’m like, ” We’re not gonna be mean to each other.

 we’re just gonna delete these comments.” I feel like a moderator for my comments section sometimes. Yeah. And I just don’t wanna deal with it. … my page, I want it to be, like, happy and fun. I don’t want people being mean to each other. Yeah. So I’m always, like, removing stuff where people are being mean or commenting negatively.

Christa Innis: I was just gonna say that. ‘Cause sometimes I’m, like, the mom in the comments or, like, the moderator, too, ’cause, there was one time where someone commented something, and I don’t think they meant harm by it. They were just like, “Wait a second.” And I felt like people were, like, dog piling on them. So then I went in- Oh

and I was like, “Oh, I totally understand what you meant here.” ‘ Cause I felt bad. I was like… ‘Cause you could tell then she was, like, trying to, like, ” No, I didn’t mean it like that.” ‘Cause I think she was, like- Yeah … trying to play into the satire or something. And I was like, “Hey, guys. It’s all good here. We’re f- just having fun.

Like- Yeah … it’s not 

Samantha Blake: that serious.” 

Christa Innis: You know? Like, why are we getting mad at people in the comments? 

Samantha Blake: Right. And on top of that, I feel like if people follow you enough, they understand that you have a personality and that you wouldn’t appreciate somebody being mean- Yeah … on your behalf. 

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Samantha Blake: You know what I mean? Exactly. 

But- Yeah … but anyway, yeah. 

Christa Innis: But I have to say, you have such a, captivating way of telling stories. I remember the first, like- Oh, thank you … time I saw your video, like, do you memorize these stories or do you kind of just, like, go with the flow and see what happens?

 you just pull people in. Like, it’s almost, mid-sentence. So then people are like, “Oh my gosh- Yeah … what is she gonna say?” and you, speak at such a good pace, where I feel people are like, “I don’t wanna miss anything.” You just do such a good job of, like- Oh, well-

telling these stories. 

Samantha Blake: I appreciate that. You’re making me blush over here. 

Christa Innis: So do you, like- 

Samantha Blake: I, um- … 

Christa Innis: do you practice what’s, your, set up for doing that? 

Samantha Blake: So I’ll wake up in the morning and I’ll go have coffee with my partner and I’ll be like, “This is the story I’m gonna tell.” And I’ll, tell him in detail, so that way it’s kind of, like, in my brain all the key points that I want to have- like, in my story. there are some of them where I’ll put the bloopers at the end, ‘ cause I try, doing it all in one take. I hate pausing it. I hate doing all of that. But I’ll get through, half of a story, like 30 seconds in, and I’ll be like, “I really hate the way I sound right now.”

Restart the video. Or I’ll get the full way through the story and be like, “I just feel like I wasn’t energetic enough. I feel like I didn’t emphasize these points enough.” And it usually takes about one to two takes for me to get it all the way through to the point where I really enjoy it myself. if I were to see it, I’d be like, “Okay, cool.

I’m stopping to watch this.” the story I posted, the bride one that you messaged me about- 

Christa Innis: Yeah … 

Samantha Blake: that was my first take on that one. But it was easy because I had the email pulled up on my screen to read. and then the one I told today, I, posted one right before hopping on this, that one I just did in the one take ‘ cause I was like, boom, I knew it.

Because once I read the story, I was like, there’s no fricking way this happened. But I had to get through it so that I could be like… My genuine reaction to reading it I would’ve gone to jail. Like, if this were like me, I would’ve gone to jail. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Okay. So I know you said before coming on that you had a story that you wanted to share.

You get tons of stories. so let’s just jump into that story you wanted to share. 

Samantha Blake: which one? The photography one? 

Christa Innis: Yeah, let’s do the photography one. 

Wedding Photography Nightmares

Samantha Blake: okay. So feel free to stop me and ask any questions and- Okay … just because I’m sure that there are gonna be parts where you need clarifying. I had a couple contact me.

They lived three hours from me, and they wanted me to do their engagement photos. They came to me to do their engagement photos. They loved them. They hired me as their wedding photographer. So they wanted me at their wedding area. am I frozen? 

Christa Innis: You’re kind of freezing right now, yeah. 

Samantha Blake: Yeah. I’m stopping.

Christa Innis: Okay. You’re back now. 

Samantha Blake: It’s storming here so bad. I had a feeling this was gonna happen with, the internet and stuff, so I’m sorry. 

Christa Innis: No, it’s okay. But- Ours is the same way anytime it storms. 

Samantha Blake: Yeah. so they hired me to do their wedding, and we signed a contract to be there from 8:00 AM to 9:00 PM.

 and again, three hours away, so I wake up at, like, 4:00 AM, drive there, start the whole, taking photos of the bride getting ready, the groom getting ready. It’s just craziness. At the reception, I ended up staying until 11, because it was just such a fun wedding, and I loved the bride. She was so sweet, so kind.

Same for the groom. He was, very chill, down to earth. at 11:00 PM I couldn’t find the bride. I could only find the maid of honor, and I let her know, like, “Hey, I’m wrapping it up. I gotta go. Like, I have all the photos I need.” ‘Cause at this point people are just drunk and dancing. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Samantha Blake: There’s not much you can capture in these moments.

 and she’s like, “No, no, no.” Like, “She wanted to talk to you really quick. Let me go find her.” So the bride comes over and she’s like, “We just want you to stay for a couple more hours.” And she’s like, “We’ll pay you extra, and we’ll pay for a hotel room, so you can spend the night. You don’t have to drive home.”

So I quickly revised a quick little contract for an extra two hours, had her sign it. she said she was gonna pay me the two-hour fee and then do a hotel room. At 1:00 AM I leave, and I decide I don’t actually wanna spend the night. I just wanna go home to my family, wake up with my family, not have to deal with this.

It was, 8:00 o’clock in the morning, the bride calls me. She’s like, “Hey, we’re all down in the lobby. Can you come down here with your equipment and meet us so that you can take pictures of my husband and I because it’s our first day married?” And I’m like, no, because I’m home. I’m three hours away now.”

She, like, started yelling at me, cussing me out, demanding a money back. she didn’t even pay me yet. She, we just signed a contract that she was gonna pay me extra. Demanding that I give her the two-hour fee back, demanding the, extra money for the hotel room back, and I was like, “I’m so confused what’s going on.”

She’s like, “Well, we got you a hotel room so that you could be here in the morning to take photos of all of us.” it wasn’t specified that if she had been like, “Hey, we’re gonna pay you for a hotel room and then give you extra so you can come down in the morning”- 

Christa Innis: Yeah … sure. 

Samantha Blake: I would’ve put that in the contract.

But she lost her ever-loving mind. The maid of honor kept calling and texting and calling and texting because she was so pissed off. She couldn’t believe that I left. Like, how dare you? And I had a baby at home. I think my son was, like, maybe a year at this point. Like, I didn’t wanna stay- 

Christa Innis: Yeah … 

Samantha Blake: three hours away.

But yeah, it was bad. It was to the point where, my lawyer was involved, and my lawyer was trying to get a, restraining order. so the cops were gonna be involved to get the maid of honor to stop contacting me. 

Christa Innis: ‘

Samantha Blake: Cause I had, my work line and she had my personal number, and she was calling me.

It’s wild that she just flipped from, like, super nice, super kind bride, and then was like, “Wait, Cause that doesn’t even make sense. I would never think that all of a sudden, they own your time then. It’s like- No … no, you paid for two more hours at night, not anything- Mm-hmm

Christa Innis: in the morning, and just because you got a hotel room from me doesn’t mean you, again… cause it’s like, what? If you stayed in the hotel room at 3:00 in the morning, does that mean she could call you to take photos at 3:00 in the morning? that doesn’t even make sense. 

Samantha Blake: Didn’t make sense.

And I will say they tried to contact me to do their maternity photos. Like, two years later. I was like, “No.”

Christa Innis: No, 

Samantha Blake: I don’t wanna deal with the hormonal you. What? I said I don’t wanna deal with, like, a hormonal version of her. Like, 

Christa Innis: No. And wouldn’t she think, that’s weird?

 after how she- Fine … treated you 

Samantha Blake: You would think 

Christa Innis: Yeah But- But I also wouldn’t show up for something like that, ’cause what if it was, her just to, like, yell at you or be like, “Try to get for free”? 

Samantha Blake: Oh, for sure. “

Christa Innis: Oh, you owe me for my wedding.” 

Samantha Blake: Yeah. 

 people are wild.

 the things that, even within the wedding photography that I’ve experienced, like the moms of the brides, you would think the bride would be the worst, but it’s actually the moms- Mm-hmm … that are the worst, and it’s like I had one mom, She had me sit with her. So it was, like, the bride’s mom and dad, and then the groom’s mom and dad, and then the grandparents.

I’m a photographer. I usually just sit over in a corner if I’m eating something or taking a drink. I’m not with people. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Samantha Blake: And she had me sit at the table with them, and she would, like, bark demands at me. Like, ” Go take a, go take photos of Uncle Tim,” and who the fuck is Uncle Tim? I don’t even know who Uncle Tim is.

 I’m not a part of your family. I don’t know- Yeah … what’s going on. And the, same mom would, like, pick up my camera and start going through the photos. No. And be like, I don’t like this one. You need to redo it. go get this.” And like, they were children, I think they were, like, 18 or 19, so they’re absolutely, like, shit-faced, and they’re like, ” Get them together and take photos of them all.”

And she’s yelling at me and cussing me out, and I’m like, “First of all, stop touching my stuff.” 

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Samantha Blake: Second, the, the bride didn’t even want me taking photos. She literally, the bride, I’m gonna call her Allie. She’s like, “Can you please just leave me alone? Like, let my mother know that I’m done with photos.

I don’t want any more. Just leave me alone.” But I’m like, “Okay.” Yeah. 

Christa Innis: That’s 

Samantha Blake: wild, 

Christa Innis: 

Samantha Blake: Yeah … 

Christa Innis: I don’t even get that, because it’s like you are interrupting, what the photographer does for their business, for their job. Mm-hmm. And like you’re trying to, like, overstep as if, they don’t know what they’re doing, and it’s like you’re actually just making it worse and, 

just trust that they know what they’re doing. I don’t know. Yeah. I don’t get that. 

Samantha Blake: Yeah. 

Christa Innis: That’s- 

Samantha Blake: Leave them alone. I will say, that was my very first ever wedding, and I told them repetitively. I didn’t even wanna do it. I had done their engagement photos, the mom loved the engagement photos, so she wanted me to do the wedding.

And I was like, I don’t do indoor photography. You don’t want me doing this.” Yeah. Like, “Don’t hire me.” And, it went back to wanting an expensive wedding, but a cheap photographer. 

Christa Innis: Mm. 

Samantha Blake: So since I had never done a wedding, I didn’t know what to charge her. And she’s like, “I’ll give you $500 for two hours.”

And I’m like, “Okay, whatever.” She calls me at 8:00 AM the morning of the wedding, yelling at me, asking where I am, why I’m not there yet to take pictures of everybody. And I’m thinking to myself, like, “You hired me for the ceremony. You didn’t hire me for all day.” 

Christa Innis: Getting ready. 

Samantha Blake: And I ended up being with them from probably 9:00 AM till, I wanna say, 9:00 PM, when I finally was like, ” I’m leaving.

I am so done with this. I can’t do it anymore.” But- 

Christa Innis: So do they only pay you for two hours, but then they wanted you extra time? 

Yeah. And then I ended up giving them the money back, and I had to get a restraining order against the mom. And my, lawyer had to- 

Samantha Blake: Yeah 

Christa Innis: What? 

Samantha Blake: she was wild, because the mom lost her shit.

So, am I allowed to swear? I don’t know if you have, You’re fine. You’re fine, yeah. Edit that out. Okay. she hired me for the wedding. I, even in the contract, I said, I’m not a wedding photographer. I’ve never done this.” You don’t want me,” is essentially, like, what I kept saying. 

Christa Innis: And she was like, “No, what my sweet daughter wants, my sweet daughter gets.”

Samantha Blake: It was awful. And after all was said and done, because the bride and groom were like, “No, we’re done,” like, “You don’t need to take any more photos.” it was like this, like the doom and gloom outside. It was so dark, and when I get to where the ceremony was, the priest, pastor, Father, whatever it was, came up to me and he’s like, “No flash and no external light in here.”

 “You can’t use anything. You just have to use natural lighting.” Oh. And it’s, like, one of those, dark buildings with, like, the big, tall painted windows, and the chandeliers are- Mm … nine million feet in the air. There’s no light for me to work with, and I told the mom right then and there, “These photos are not gonna look good.

 I can’t use the lighting, and I don’t have enough light coming in.” And she was just like, “Oh, no. We love you. We love your work.” that flip again, where they love you so much while you’re, like, kissing ass, trying to be nice, and trying to be patient, and the moment you stand up for yourself, they’re like, “Oh, we don’t like you anymore.”

Yeah. it was like that. I wanna say it was a solid year of being harassed by this mother before I finally, got the cops involved and had to have a restraining order against her. What 

Christa Innis: was she trying to like… She just kept, bugging you for more stuff? Or just trying to like- 

Samantha Blake: Well, as, like, a thank you to the couple, I did photo books.

Like, I printed photo books, and it wasn’t a part of the contract. It wasn’t anything that we agreed on. I just, as a gift to the couple- 

Christa Innis: Yeah … 

Samantha Blake: I printed a photo book, and I put a photo of them kissing at the altar, just really cute photos throughout, little quotes about love, all this stuff. 

The mom contacted me, and she didn’t like the cover image I chose.

She didn’t like the big pictures I chose. she wanted me to put, inserts from their vows and I’m like, “This was just, like, a gift.” Yeah. Like, this is a free gift. Make 

Christa Innis: your own if you don’t like it. 

Samantha Blake: Right. Right. God. So then, she was mad about how warm and grainy the photos of the ceremony were.

 there’s no way around it. the photo’s gonna have, like, that pixelated texture look to it- Yeah … because of how dark it is. my camera’s trying to absorb light, which is gonna cause a yellow, grainy-ish look, especially with, the stained glass. she was like, “You need to edit this.

You need to change this. This is the photo I want for the layout.” And just as, like, a way to appease her, ’cause at this point, I do outdoor photography, and I don’t want something indoor to ruin my business over here. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Samantha Blake: I’m going with it. I get her another set of, picture books, send them over.

She hates them. And then she starts demanding, like, the raw photos so that she can edit She wants, every single photo I took of the wedding day. She doesn’t want just the ones that I picked to edit. She wants all of them, and I was like, “No. It’s just not gonna happen.” It works. No. And then, yep, nope.

Christa Innis: Gosh, 

Samantha Blake: that- And the company I used for the books, they bound them themselves, so it wasn’t, like, a mass production thing. It was, like, a very, intricately done, beautifully pieced together book. And again, just a gift, which was probably, like, 100 bucks, honestly. Yeah. So out of the 500 you gave me, I gave you a $100 book, and then I ended up giving them all the money back.

I was like, “Stop contacting me.” Like- 

Christa Innis: Please … “

Samantha Blake: Here’s your 500. Leave me alone.” 

Christa Innis: That’s, like, someone that doesn’t understand photography either, ’cause it’s like where it starts off is she’s like, “Oh, will you take photos? And you’re a photographer, so you can do wedding photography.” It’s like, wedding photography is very different than, maternity- Mm-hmm

or engagement or still shots. they’re all different- Yeah … skillsets. And yes, while some people do all of them or eventually get there, it’s doesn’t necessarily mean you have the equipment for a wedding when it’s- Right … like, in a darker church or That’s someone that just- Yeah

you said, like earlier, like they just want it, they just saw like a price tag and they’re like, “Well, let’s just do this price tag.” And it’s like- 

Samantha Blake: Yeah … 

Christa Innis: well, you’re paying for the equipment, you’re paying for the ti- you know, all that stuff 

Samantha Blake: Yeah. And then the time to edit the photos too. 

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. ‘

Samantha Blake: Cause like these beautiful photos you see, before they go into, production or editing, they don’t look like that.

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Samantha Blake: They look like a photo that you would take with, just your camera and your lighting. these effects of like sun rays and stuff like that, that’s done post. that’s done in the production process, but people don’t see that. People don’t understand that. They just think that’s how it came out of the camera I wanna live in that level of delusion, honestly.

The Cake That Broke Boundaries

Christa Innis: Yeah, that is wild. Okay, one more story before we get to this week’s story submission that someone sent. you said you have a story from your own wedding with your- Yes … mother-in-law that you wanna share. 

Samantha Blake: Oh, my… First of all, this woman, she’s not my mother-in-law anymore. obviously,

 I’ve been divorced for 12 years, 13 years. But I went no contact with her four years before I even left him, ’cause it was awful. First of all, her dress to wear as the, groom’s mom was a very pale champagney color. 

Christa Innis: Okay. I 

Samantha Blake: was like- I 

Christa Innis: knew that was coming … “

Samantha Blake: pretty much white there, babe.”

Mm-hmm. this isn’t okay with me. I grew up on a big property, like a farmhouse type deal, so we had a big yard, which is where we were gonna have the wedding. I’m like, “We’ll just have it on my parents’ property,” and that was, like, my parents’ contribution to it. So my mother-in-law was like, “Well, I wanna contribute.

 what can I do?” And I’m like, “Honestly, I can’t think of anything you can do. We’re good.” At this point, I had already hired a baker. I already had everything, like catering and stuff, ready. We were set. And she contacted my ex-husband, threatening to, self-harm herself if I did not allow her to make the wedding cake, and I was like…

 “Okay, well, I don’t want that to happen, so she can make the wedding cake.” I canceled with the baker. I’m like, … “My mother-in-law is gonna make it,” all this stuff. And I go to my mother-in-law with, my vision board of what I wanted, which was just very basic cake, naked cake with, fall decor, ’cause it was a fall wedding.

 and you know, like, the naked where it’s like the frosting is on it but scraped off- Mm-hmm … so it’s very, very, very, like, not really there? 

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Samantha Blake: That’s what I wanted, and I just wanted it simple. I wanted a chocolate layer, a vanilla layer, and then carrot cake for the one year. you know how you have your cake in the, one-year anniversary.

 I wanna say it was maybe a week before the wedding. She calls me and she’s like, “Hey, do you wanna come try the cake? Like, I have it ready.” And I was like, “Sure, yeah. Oh, d- Back, rewind. She wanted to make a marble cake. She thought it would just look so divine if she had pitchers with one that had chocolate, one that had vanilla, and then you pour it in at the same time so it swirls together.

And I was like, “Cute idea, don’t want that. I want it to just be very specific, one that’s one and whatever.” And she’s just like, ” Well, I mean, it would just look really cool and all this stuff.” And I was like, “I don’t want it.” And I was, like, very adamant. Boundaries, right? Mm-hmm. So I go to sample the cake, try it out, and of course it’s this pitcher idea that she had where it was all marbled together.

And I tried the cake. I was like, “This cake is really good. on the wedding day though, I don’t want it like this. I want it chocolate vanilla carrot cake.” I can’t even tell you how many times I said that. Like, I literally for the longest time didn’t even wanna eat cake because of how, stupid I sounded telling this.

So I was like, ” This is what I wanted.” And she’s just like, “Well, if you want it that way, you’re gonna have to buy me the ingredients to remake this cake.” So now this thing that’s meant to be a gift is causing me stress and anxiety. Days before my wedding I’m running around, getting all the stuff that she needs to remake this cake.

The day of the wedding comes. she pulls out the cake, and, I wanted a circular cake, but it was this big, rectangular, like, giant freaking thing. I have tried so hard to find photos of this, but one of the things I did when I left, I was, like, deleting that from my memory. I was like, “No wedding photos anywhere.

Nothing. Everything…” so it’s a big rectangular cake that has so much frosting on it. I’m talking, like, an inch of frosting and- Oh my gosh … piping and swirly things, and she has red ribbon piping. I don’t know what it’s called. And then there’s, like, this blue color. It’s a fall wedding. I felt like it was a Fourth of July cake, honestly.

And I was like, thank you for doing this for me. This isn’t what I wanted.” She lost her mind, started scraping the cake off, because I asked for a naked cake. She’s like, ” You want a naked cake? You’re gonna get a naked cake,” yelling at me. I’m, like, about to get married. I’m pregnant, so I can’t go inside and take a drink.

Like, I have to just sit here and, like- Oh 

Christa Innis: my 

Samantha Blake: gosh … deal with it, you know? 

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. 

Samantha Blake: So she’s scraping my cake off. My poor mom is, walking around the yard, picking up actual leaves to make it fall. She’s, she’s putting, like, for real leaves on the cake, and I’m like, “We don’t, we don’t need to do this.” anyways, I end up trying to cut the cake, sorry.

The bottom layer, the chocolate, is styrofoam. And I was like- 

Christa Innis: Oh … 

Samantha Blake: I’m like, “Oh.” And I’m like, “What is this?” And she’s just like, “Oh, you know, I thought about what you said about wanting chocolate and vanilla, and that really didn’t make sense, so I just used the cake I made the other day, so you’re gonna have to cut the middle layer.”

So she used the marble cake, which begs the question, where did all the extra ingredients I bought you- 

Christa Innis: Yeah … 

Samantha Blake: what were those for if this is the same cake that you had me test a week ago? 

Christa Innis: Oh- 

Samantha Blake: Anyways … 

Christa Innis: my gosh. 

Samantha Blake: So we cut the middle layer. it was the marble thing, and I’m like, whatever. we’re gonna let it go.

I’m just not, I’m in a noncon- confrontational mood. And then she comes over to cut the top layer because my husband’s, well, husband at the time, little brother wanted carrot cake. He didn’t want, the other cake. So she cut the top layer, which is meant for the one-year anniversary layer. Mm-hmm. And she cuts it, and she gives the kid a piece of it, and she’s just like, “Well, that’s what he wanted.”

And I’m like If that’s any idea what my relationship was like. 

Christa Innis: Yes, I can only imagine how the rest of the y- many years went. Yeah, that is wild. That’s like one of the things, too, like I have so many stories where like family members insist on like taking photos, or they insist on being the DJ, or they insist on- 

Samantha Blake: Mm-hmm

things. 

Christa Innis: Like, “Oh, it’s not hard,” and when like maybe they don’t have a legitimate business, or they like have only done it one other time for a birthday party- 

Samantha Blake: Mm-hmm … 

Christa Innis: or something. And so many times it just goes bad because- 

Samantha Blake: Yes … 

Christa Innis: they don’t have the experience, or for example, if they’re like a photographer for a wedding when they’re not an actual photographer, then it’s like they- Mm-hmm

lose photos, or they don’t have a backup drive, all these things where it’s like- Yep … so hard when they, especially if the mother-in-law is like threatening, “Well, if you don’t let me do this,” that’s 

Samantha Blake: scary. It, it was that, that was her threat for everything. Imagine how much like 

It’s like a heightened state of anxiety- Mm-hmm … all the time because she wanted to be in the delivery room, which I ended up having an emergency C-section, so nobody was in the room, thank God. But not like… You know what I mean. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Samantha Blake: But she was threatening self-harm because she wasn’t in the room, 

Yeah. And then she shows up maybe an hour or two after I had him, and I’m still out. I’m still under anesthesia, and she’s like trying to hold the baby, but my mom won’t let her. She’s like, “No. No, you’re not holding him before Sam can hold him.” Yeah. Like, that doesn’t make any logical sense. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Samantha Blake: And honestly, that’s why I went no contact with her.

 I was actually pregnant with my middle when I went no contact with her. I was like, “I I can’t do this.” It’s like an emotional like rollercoaster. 

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. 

Samantha Blake: And you’re under… It’s like a constant, almost like you’re in a vice grip. Yeah, like you’re stuck. Mm-hmm. And I was like, “I can’t do it anymore.

Christa Innis: I can’t do it.” Can’t do anything right, can’t do anything like, everything’s just wrong probably. 

Samantha Blake: Yeah. 

Christa Innis: you can’t win with someone like that ’cause it’s all based- Mm-mm … on control. It’s like if they don’t have it their way at their time, then, you know, you’re- 

Samantha Blake: Yeah … 

Christa Innis: yeah, you have to go no contact with someone like that.

I can’t even- Yeah … imagine, especially when it comes to having kids around someone like that. 

Samantha Blake: Yeah. Oh- … you 

Christa Innis: made the right choice … yeah, I 

Samantha Blake: just don’t feel safe with it. Yeah. Yeah, she used to, go off on me because I would let my mom take my son, but I wouldn’t let her take my son. And I’m like- 

Christa Innis: Big difference

Samantha Blake: like, honestly. Like- 

Christa Innis: It is … 

Samantha Blake: I heard about my husband’s childhood. Like I don’t, don’t wanna give you my kid. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. You’re like, “No, thank you.” 

Samantha Blake: But- Wow … oh, she tried suing me for grandparents’ rights after I left him and everything. Like, she genuinely… It was, it was a nightmare. It was a nightmare. But yeah. Oh 

Christa Innis: my gosh.

Samantha Blake: She’s, we have a whole- Can’t believe she did 

Christa Innis: that … 

Samantha Blake: I know. I know. In, in the, I think it’s been 17 years since I talked to her, and in that time, like, she’s reached out here and there, like asking how the kids are and asking for photos of the kids, and I’m just like, “Nah. No.” 

Christa Innis: Someone that- 

Samantha Blake: But- … 

Christa Innis: like that, you just don’t even wanna give them access because it’s gonna just- 

Samantha Blake: No

explode No. And my, my, like, for real socials, like, I don’t post my kids on TikTok or anything like that, but on my, my personal Facebook page, it is so locked down that you’re not gonna find anything on there anyways. Like, good luck. And if you do find a picture of them, I’m proud of you because that shit is so private.

Christa Innis: Yes. Oh my gosh. Okay. All right, let’s 

Samantha Blake: hear this one. 

Christa Innis: Let’s get to this week’s story submission. Give me one second here. Um- Hold on one sec

Spring Showdown: When Months Collide

Okay, let’s get to this week’s story submission. Here we go. Two of my best friends got engaged around the same time. Emma was my maid of honor when I got married and is truly my best friend in the world. Lily is also a close friend and was a bridesmaid in my wedding. We all share the same friend group, but Emma and Lily were never especially close.

In fact, Lily wasn’t even sure if Emma would make her guest list since her fiancé and Emma had butted heads in the past. Emma and her fiancé, Ryan, are a bit older and got engaged about a year and a half- about a year of dating. Lily and her fiancé, Noah, had been together since college and got engaged after five years, about six months before Emma.

After Lily got engaged, she started asking me questions about Emma’s proposal and her dream wedding. I told her Emma was hoping for a fall wedding later that year As wedding planning began, Emily’s uncle became terminally, terminally ill, which delayed things while her family focused on him. Once his condition stabilized enough for her to step away, Emma and Ryan found a venue they loved.

However, they had to shift their timeline to the following spring because Emma works in sales, and fall was both too busy and too soon to book. Meanwhile, Lily secured her venue for April 18th. Emma later told me she was considering April 2nd … Oh gosh, I know where this is going. There’s gonna be some- I’m waiting for 

Samantha Blake: it

friend beef. 

Christa Innis: Yes. Uh, she was considering April 2nd or the end of May, depending on venue availability. She asked if I thought April 2nd, just three weeks before Lily’s wedding, was too close since there were mutual friends in both weddings. I told her it would be fine. Both weddings were local, and from my own experience as a bride, I knew how limited venue availability can be.

Sometimes you just have to do what works. A few weeks later, I saw Lily at another friend’s party. She asked how Emma’s planning was going. Since I was Emma’s maid of honor, I casually mentioned the dates Emma was considering. Lily immediately made a scene. She said it was incredibly disrespectful for Emma to even consider a date less than a month before hers without asking permission.

Like you own the whole month. Like- 

Samantha Blake: But also, wasn’t she not even sure if she was gonna be a guest at the wedding anyways? 

Christa Innis: Yeah. She said she wasn’t even 

Samantha Blake: sure- How 

Christa Innis: odd … she was gonna … Who was it? Um- Invite them … Lily didn’t even think Emma was gonna be a guest at her wedding. 

Samantha Blake: Yeah. Okay, sorry. 

Christa Innis: So I feel like it has to do with her competing with this friend and thinking like, “Well, I don’t want my same friend that’s gonna be a bridesmaid in my wedding to like have to worry about hers first.”

You know, like that competition or something. 

Samantha Blake: Yeah. Y- your attention belongs to me, no one else type deal. 

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. Ugh. So 

Samantha Blake: gross 

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. I calmly explained that I didn’t think it was a big deal, especially since both weddings were local and wouldn’t create a burden for shared guests. She snapped back, accusing me of only taking Emma’s side because I was her maid of honor.

I stayed calm, but I definitely was frustrated. I gently pointed out that Lily wasn’t even sure she was inviting Emma to her wedding. Oh, gosh, here we go. She was? So at this point, Emma didn’t know. So she, it didn’t make sense to expect Emma to check in, um, with her about dates. That didn’t go over well. She started asking random people at the party for her, for their opinions, but only sharing selective details to make herself look better.

This is just what we were talking about before recording, how when people share a story, they, they’re always, they’re naturally gonna do it to make themselves look better. Yep. Yep. And take out some details. 

Samantha Blake: And then they do the thing where, “Oh, well, so and so agrees with me. They feel the same way I do,” and then they kinda like pit people against you.

Christa Innis: Yes. Oh my gosh. 

Samantha Blake: Every time. 

Christa Innis: And I always like to think too, I’m like, so if, if Lily would’ve sent this story in, you know, like how she would- Mm … angle it versus this person- Yep … you know, everyone’s gonna change things. 

Samantha Blake: Yeah. 

Christa Innis: Um, I tried to deescalate the situation and show empathy, and eventually things settled down.

In the end, Emma chose Memorial Day weekend, five weeks after Lily’s wedding. Oh, wonder if that was okay. I let Lily know, thinking the issue was resolved. 

Samantha Blake: Mm-hmm. 

Christa Innis: But I could tell something was off A few weeks later, she asked to talk. During the call she said it felt like a slap in the face that we had even considered a date close to hers.

For one, it’s not even though her friend considering it, it’s the other girl. Like, me, she’s a maid of honor. She’s not on part of picking a date. Like, why is she getting mad at 

Samantha Blake: her? So- so, that’s … Why, why does she feel like she just owns, like, that six-month block? Like- She n- she thought she was planning a fall wedding, so that’s the only time she’s allowed to plan it?

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Samantha Blake: So weird how entitled people become. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. I just like, I think people get in their minds, like, yes, like, your wedding is this great event and it’s fun, but I feel like with, like, social media and, like, Pinterest, they’re like, “Oh my gosh, it’s, my wedding’s the wedding of the year- Yeah … and everyone else lives stop when they’re in my wedding or a part of it.”

And so I think she’s- 

Samantha Blake: Mm-hmm … 

Christa Innis: thinking like, “Oh, my maid of, like, my friend that’s in the wedding, you know, should be, like, focusing on me and me only.” Mm-hmm. And it’s like, no. Like, yes, it’s the most important thing for you and your partner- 

Samantha Blake: Mm-hmm … 

Christa Innis: but everyone else, their lives move on. Like, they still have to work.

Right. They still have kids, they still have fam- you know, whatever that is. 

Samantha Blake: Yep. 

Christa Innis: They can’t just stop. So if they have another wedding to go to, that’s okay. 

Samantha Blake: That’s okay. Yeah. Exactly, it’s okay. 

Christa Innis: It’s like I always tell people, like, two of my best friends got married the same year as me. One was two months before me, and one was- Ooh

the, like, I don’t know, six, no, eight months after me, and I was the maid of honor in one wedding, I was a bridesmaid in the other. Ooh. So all of our wedding events overlapped, and it was so fun. Like, we did so many different things. Yeah. Like, we had a bachelorette party one weekend, we had a shower, and I loved it.

Like, I’m as happy- Yeah … for my friends as you, you should be. Like 

Samantha Blake: And I feel like you can also bounce ideas off each other, ’cause maybe you like the idea of a bubble machine, and the other person’s like, “No, that’s stupid,” but that’s cool for you. You know what I mean? Or maybe they see something cool that they like, but they don’t want at their wedding- Mm-hmm

but then they share the idea with you- 

Christa Innis: Oh, yeah … 

Samantha Blake: and you like it. 

Christa Innis: We all, we all shared so many different things, like, um, different decorative things from our weddings, ’cause we all had a little bit- Yeah … of gold accent. One of my fr- my friend’s little sister got married six months before me, and I was able to use her fake flowers.

Like, we all- Oh, nice … like, shared each other’s stuff, and I’m like, I saved money. Like, it was actually, like, nice, but- 

Samantha Blake: Sisterhood of the, uh, wedding decor instead of the traveling pants. 

Christa Innis: Yeah, exactly. Yes. Oh my gosh, I know. People spend so much money on that stuff. I’m just like, I went to, like, Goodwill. I, like, borrowed some stuff from friends.

Yeah. I’m like, it’s fine. Um- Yeah. 

Samantha Blake: And I bet it was beautiful, too. 

Christa Innis: Yes, exactly. Um, she said, okay, so she said, I, “And then I tried to explain that my opinion wasn’t biased, but that only made her more upset. She said she talked to other people who agreed with her. I mentioned,” like you just said, “I mentioned that I had also spoken to my mom and my sister who had been in multiple weddings close together, and they felt that brides don’t need permission from others, especially if they’re not even in the wedding party.

That’s when she lost it. She accused me of airing out her business-” Oh, God “… even though she had just told me she did the same thing.” Right. Total hypocrisy. Because again, she’s al- she is seeing herself as the main character. She’s the bride. It’s only about her. Yep. Everyone else’s- Yep … opinion doesn’t matter 

Samantha Blake: Wild.

The Bridesmaid Ultimatum

Christa Innis: Then it got worse. She told me that I was clearly siding with Emma. Maybe I should step down as her bridesmaid because she didn’t think I’d have time for her. 

Samantha Blake: Okay. 

Christa Innis: Wow. I’d be like, “Okay, well, you made it y- your choice.” Thanks for bringing all that up. Yeah. 

Samantha Blake: Thank you, but thank you. Saving money on that dress.

Christa Innis: Now I can really focus on her thank you. I was worried about it. 

Samantha Blake: Yes, thank you. I did feel like I was pulled in opposite directions, so- Yeah … 

Christa Innis: that’s wild. That’s wild. And that just tells me that this person, like, always had some kind of… I don’t know. To eas- to that easily drop you from the wedding- 

Samantha Blake: Yeah, yeah

Christa Innis: tells me that they already ha- always had some kind of like animosity. I 

Samantha Blake: wonder if she was, like, an extra body. So she’s like kind of a friend, and her fiancé had like seven groomsmen, so she just- Mm-hmm … needed an extra. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Samantha Blake: You know what I mean? ‘Cause you don’t, you don’t drop a friend from a wedding. I’m saying that as somebody who was dropped from a wedding- Oh

but then re-in the wedding. Oh. It was wild. That’s like a whole different story. Anyways, it- that’s what it sounds like to me, is like that person was an extra body. Like, that person was just there to fill the shoes- Mm-hmm … because there were too many groomsmen in comparison to the bride, bridesmaids. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. So it’s like not gonna like affect her day, so she’s like, “Whatever, just-” 

Samantha Blake: Yeah

Christa Innis: “At this point, don’t.” That’s wild. I reminded her of all the ways I had supported her and made sure she felt celebrated, but she was too angry to hear it. Eventually, I was able to calm her down, and she brushed the whole thing off like it wasn’t a big deal. But it honestly shook me. I tried to move past it, telling myself that the wedding stress can make people act out, but it still felt like a lot.

Thankfully, everything eventually worked itself out. We are on good terms now, and ironically, Emma and Lily are actually closer than ever. But being stuck in the middle of that situation, absolutely wild. Gosh, what do you make of all that? 

Samantha Blake: So unfair. Like, okay, so for me, that’s so unfair for, for Emma Just because she has…

They’re all in a friend group, and she’s close to both people, that’s so unfair to make her feel like she has to choose one or the other. 

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. 

Samantha Blake: It was 

Christa Innis: like- Emma, Emma’s the friend. Emma and Lily are the- Yeah … friends, and then the OP is… We don’t have a name, I guess, for her. 

Samantha Blake: Oh, okay, okay. Yeah I thought Emma was…

Okay. So whomever… We’ll get- we’ll say her name is Lauren. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Samantha Blake: Lauren- Perfect … feel like she’s choosing between the two, that’s so unfair to her. 

Christa Innis: Yes. 

Samantha Blake: Like, because- Why 

Christa Innis: can’t it be yes … 

Samantha Blake: the 

Christa Innis: honor 

Samantha Blake: over here, obviously, like, that would indicate to me that she’s closer to this person. Mm-hmm. Which could potentially make Lily upset because, like, how dare you have a bester friend than me?

Mm-hmm. A besterest, bester best. 

Christa Innis: Besterest, yeah. Bestest friend, yeah. When- But 

Samantha Blake: yeah … 

Christa Innis: yeah. When I think Lily, um, got- Who got engaged first? It was like… Oh, they got engaged around the same time, and then, but Emma was her maid of honor, so then, so then Lauren would’ve been Emma’s maid of honor. 

Samantha Blake: Yeah. 

Christa Innis: And then- Yeah

Samantha Blake: yeah. And Emma was gonna originally be married in September or fall-ish, and then uncle had health problems, Lily. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Like, I can understand it because Lily asked when is she getting married. She knew it was fall, so then she planned for spring. 

Christa Innis: Right. 

Samantha Blake: But you can’t, like, plan if a family member’s sick.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Sorry, I feel a sneeze coming on. It looks like I’m crying. I swear it’s allergies. 

Samantha Blake: I’m like, I swear to you, the story’s not that bad. 

Christa Innis: Like, it’s okay. It’s not your friends that are getting 

Samantha Blake: married. 

Christa Innis: No. No, like, my allergies are so bad since, like, the wildfires and stuff. But anyway- Right … um, yeah, no. It’s…

That’s, like, hard, and I feel like it’s, like, this, like, friend competition and, like- Mm-hmm … I guess it’s that they’re friends now, but I would still, I feel like, hold a little bit of resentment for how the girl- Oh, 

Samantha Blake: for sure … how she treated her ‘

Christa Innis: cause I’d be like, “Dude, you put me in a odd spot. Like, I’m not controlling their wedding over here.

I’m just the maid of honor- Right … and I’m supporting my friend. Don’t come at me. Like, I’m the one.” 

Samantha Blake: But also, I feel like as, as Emma to now be friends with Lily, if I were Emma, I would l- I would think that she was really fake, and I would… It would be a very superficial friendship for me. Like, one of those, like, surface level where you know enough to feel like we’re friends, but at the same time, I see what you can do to people you care about, so I’m not letting you close to me.

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Samantha Blake: That’s how I would handle it. Like, there’s no way that you caused my best friend so much, like, grief- 

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm … 

Samantha Blake: and then I’m gonna be friends. And- I, I can- can’t … 

Christa Innis: yeah, it makes me wonder if, um, the OP, like Lauren that we’re calling, I wonder if- Uh-huh … she told Emma everything. You know? 

Samantha Blake: Oh, same. Mm-hmm. ‘

Christa Innis: Cause maybe she’s thinking, like, I’m thinking, like, if I were in two weddings at the same time and that happened, I’m like, I don’t think I’d wanna stress out this bride- Yeah

and be like, “Oh,” you know? Or make them feel like they have to change their date. So I’m wondering- Yeah … if she didn’t tell her or maybe waited to tell her until later. 

Samantha Blake: Later. 

Christa Innis: I’d almost hope she wouldn’t tell her ’cause then I’m like, don’t put that on her ’cause if Emma’s like- No … a really nice people pleaser, then maybe she’s like, “Oh, okay, I don’t wanna…”

But it sound- 

Samantha Blake: Yeah … 

Christa Innis: it sounded like Emma was actually concerned. She was like, “Oh, do you think it’s okay?” Or would she be upset? 

Samantha Blake: Yeah. Yeah. She 

Christa Innis: had a feeling, like, you know, ’cause I think it would probably cross everyone’s mind, like, you know, if- If maybe I knew someone was getting married, ’cause I got married in March, like if I knew someone close to another friend was getting married in April, I’d be like, “Oh, is that too close?”

But I mean, I don’t know. Like- 

Samantha Blake: Yeah … 

Christa Innis: for the most part, if you have different friend groups and, you know, it doesn’t really matter. Like- 

Samantha Blake: No … 

Christa Innis: only 12 months in a year 

Samantha Blake: And on top of that, like… Right, and it’s just like I would, I actually think that I would like having weddings back to back because you get to celebrate.

I’m, I- I’m like, w- don’t wanna get remarried, but I love weddings, and I always get emotional. Like, I was, like, as a photographer, I’m, like, crying behind my lens for somebody I don’t even freaking know. But I love weddings. I love love, you know what I mean? 

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. 

Samantha Blake: So I think that I would love it if it was, like, back-to-back weddings where I get to celebrate people that I’m close to.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I 

Samantha Blake: was- So it’s just, it’s weird to me that people would be like, no. Like, the one story you shared where, like, the person couldn’t get married in their wedding year. 

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. 

Samantha Blake: What are we talking about? Like, what? Ugh. 

Christa Innis: Don’t you wanna be happy- Like, what the hell? … and celebrate other people? Like, I, I’m the same way.

Like, I love weddings. Would I wanna plan another one for myself? No. I had so much fun with it, but I love weddings. I love going to them. Mm-hmm. Like, I just found out two of my f- two of my friends just got engaged, and they’re getting married next year, and I’m like, “Yes.” We haven’t had a wedding, a year with two weddings in a long time.

Yeah. I can’t wait. 

Samantha Blake: That’s so exciting. 

Christa Innis: Um, yeah, and it’s like it, and it’s been a while ’cause, like, my, my age group, my friends group are all married, so it’s like younger… It’s like siblings, younger siblings- Yeah … and, like, uh- Yeah … you know, stuff like that. But, um, yeah, and so I’m just like, I can’t wait ’cause I love going to weddings.

Yeah. It’s just such a fun event- It’s exciting … to go to, and it’s exciting and, um… So yeah, it’s just, that does… You can, you know, maybe you can excuse some wacky behavior around weddings. Yeah. Like, okay, they’re stressed. But things like that, I would be like, I would remember how someone treated me. Going off on me- Yeah

at someone else’s wedding, like, I’d be like, “Eh, that’s a bit odd.” 

Samantha Blake: Yeah. I think, like, if Emma was like, “Okay, so this girl’s wedding is on the 2nd. I actually want mine on the 3rd.” Like, sure, be a little bit, like, peeved about that, but if it’s, like, a couple weeks after- Right … really no point in being upset.

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Samantha Blake: It, it, unless you guys are in each other’s wedding and getting married on the exact same day- 

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm … 

Samantha Blake: it’s really, it’s really not that deep. Like, we- Yeah … can just calm down. Like- 

Christa Innis: Like, it’ll 

Samantha Blake: be- I always tell people like that need to eat a Snickers. Like, you know the commercials where they’re, like- Yes

hangry? Yeah. Go eat a Snickers. Go eat a Snickers. 

Christa Innis: Go chill out for a bit. 

Samantha Blake: Yeah, relax. 

Christa Innis: Calm down. You’ll be fine. Yeah. Um- 

Samantha Blake: I used to, when I was a server, completely unrelated, I carried fun-size Snickers around in my, um, apron. So when people would give me attitude, I’d be like, “Oh, you little, little snacky over here.”

Uh, 

Christa Innis: have a Snickers. You, you need something to hold you off before, uh- 

Samantha Blake: Yeah. … 

Christa Innis: your fumes. Yeah. That’s a good idea. People do need that. 

Samantha Blake: Okay. No, that’s wild, you know? 

Confessions, Mom Villages and Setting Boundaries 

Christa Innis: I always like to end these episodes with confessions. 

Samantha Blake: Ooh. 

Christa Innis: So here is, um, here’s what people said. We said, “What’s…” We asked, “What’s something you wish people understood more of?”

Um, this person said, “How you treat people is how they’ll treat you. If you don’t give more, don’t expect more.” I actually love- Mm … this because I’ve been thinking a lot about, like, mom villages lately, and how everyone’s like, you know, “Where’s my village?” And it’s hard to find a village. But I feel like to have a village you have to kind of be the village.

Yep. And that goes for, like, when you’re a bride, too. Like, we wanna relate it back to weddings. It’s like these brides that maybe weren’t there for their friends when it was their time, and then they’re like, “Where is everybody?” And it’s like, well, you- Right, right … weren’t a good friend to them. You know? 

Samantha Blake: Yep, yep.

It’s the energy you put out is what you get back- 

Christa Innis: Mm … 

Samantha Blake: is how I always look at it. So the effort you put in is the effort that comes back to you as well. 

Christa Innis: Yes, absolutely. 

Samantha Blake: Yeah. 

Christa Innis: Um, not being able to do things because you have kids. That’s what… Okay, she wish- wishes people, more people would understand that.

Samantha Blake: Mm-hmm. Okay. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Samantha Blake: I can get that one. I understand that one. 

Christa Innis: Yes. Um, let’s see. I can fix them is not true. They have to put in the work. You can’t make them see their flaws. Yeah, I think that’s- 

Samantha Blake: Yeah … 

Christa Innis: mostly true, yeah. 

Samantha Blake: I hear it. Yeah. 

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Um, this person just says, “No, I don’t want kids there.” So I don’t know if they’re talking about weddings or s- 

Samantha Blake: Yeah.

I always struggle with that because I’ve been to weddings where kids were in attendance, and it was totally fine. Like, you would’ve never known. But then I’ve been at weddings where, like, there’s a screaming toddler just running amok, and you’re just like, like, “Why is it running across the altar right now?”

Like, while they’re doing their vows. Right. Like, so I understand not wanting that. 

Christa Innis: Yes. 

Samantha Blake: But at the same time, like- If, if you want to invite a person and the person has kids but they can’t make it ’cause kids aren’t allowed, then you have to be understanding of the fact that they are not there because of that.

It’s, it doesn’t mean that they don’t like you, it doesn’t mean they’re a bad friend, it just means that they can’t go. 

Christa Innis: Right. 

Samantha Blake: Does that- No, totally. 

Christa Innis: So, 

Samantha Blake: like, yeah, when my cousin got married it was no kids, and my son was, like, I don’t know, two months old, three months old. So I had a babysitter for him. ‘Cause it was m- like, everybody was going.

It was my cousin, so like my mom was there, my dad was there, my sisters, everything. So I had a sitter for a couple of hours, and she was so upset that I didn’t stay for everything. And I’m like, “I can’t.” Like- 

Christa Innis: Yeah … 

Samantha Blake: this thing is nursing. Yes. It’s like, looking for me. I gotta go. Like- Yes … but. 

Christa Innis: I know. 

Samantha Blake: I don’t know.

But- 

Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s hard. It’s hard, like, people need to like understand, like, once you have kids, like things, things change a little bit. Yeah. And I, and I total- again, I totally understand people not wanting kids there. Like, I don’t get- Mm-hmm … offended if people don’t invite my daughter. Like, I get it. 

Samantha Blake: Right.

Christa Innis: And I think, I think it’s just people want different vibes for weddings. Sometimes they just don’t want kids there. Other times it’s like just immediate family members. Um- 

Samantha Blake: Yeah … 

Christa Innis: and I think a lot of times too, like, if… Or if they don’t know your kid, they’re not gonna invite your kid. Like, like we have like- Yeah

friends that invite us to a wedding before they even knew, before we had kids. I’m like, I wouldn’t expect them to just, you know, add her on the list. Um- Right … but yeah, I know. I think it’s, I think it’s interesting. People get like very offended over it, both sides. People get offended- Yeah … if you have to leave early if you have kids, and people get offended if you say, um, if you invite no kids.

And I’m like- 

Samantha Blake: Right. Right … 

Christa Innis: people are gonna do what they want. It’s okay. Like- 

Samantha Blake: Right … 

Christa Innis: you can’t get up in arms about 

Samantha Blake: it. And it’s okay to realize that people are different. Just because you would have kids at your wedding doesn’t mean that they should also feel that way. 

Christa Innis: Yeah, yeah. 

Samantha Blake: It’s like a chocolate versus vanilla.

Not everybody likes chocolate and not everybody likes vanilla. It’s okay. It’s okay. 

Christa Innis: Right. 

Samantha Blake: It’s okay. We can all get along. Yes. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, this person says, “No phones at the wedding.” 

Samantha Blake: I agree with that I grew, as, as a photographer, as somebody… I think I did, like, 20-something weddings. The amount of times I would be taking a photo down the aisle of, like, the first kiss, and then you have, like, Aunt Susan leaning in with her camera taking photos.

So then you have to go through the hassle of either trying to edit her out completely or cropping the photo so it’s not as aesthetic, just to not have their phone in the, in the photo. And, like, sometimes you watch, uh, the bride walking down the aisle, and everybody’s like this, staring at their screen. Ah.

And, like, the event is happening in front of you, and you’re missing it. 

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. 

Samantha Blake: You’re… Like, it just, it, it’s frustrating. 

Christa Innis: That’s like concert video nows, v- videos now- … that, like, really bother me. And it’s like I get, like, filming your favorite song or here and there, but the people- Yeah … that the whole time at a concert are holding up, I’m like, “Be freaking present.

We have such a hard time- Be present … with that now.” It’s like- 

Samantha Blake: Yep, yep … 

Christa Innis: there’s nothing that will compete with your actual eyesight and your senses. And, and I feel like especially when you’re at a concert, how many times are you gonna go back and, like, watch it? Like, how- 

Samantha Blake: I know, I know. Or, like, 4th of July fireworks.

Yeah, when they 

Christa Innis: post it. 

Samantha Blake: Nobody cares. Nobody 

Christa Innis: cares. Yeah. 

Samantha Blake: Or, or even when you’re watching the concert videos back and you can hear yourself singing- I feel like that’s a reason enough to not do it. Like, listening to yourself shout the lyrics, like, no. Yes. 

Christa Innis: I know. I always like to remind people, it’s like, especially at a wedding, it’s like they paid good money for a great photographer.

Let them do that. Like, if you wanna get- Yes … like, a selfie of you and the bride later if she has time- Yeah … sure, do that. Yeah. But, you know, and like I- being involved in weddings, I ta- I love taking pictures of, like, little details and stuff. 

Samantha Blake: Mm-hmm. 

Christa Innis: But you better believe my phone is away. When I’m sitting- Yeah

in my chair and I’m watching, my phone’s away, ’cause I know I can’t do better than the photographer. I know that for a fact. Right. 

Samantha Blake: Yeah. 

Christa Innis: But yeah, like Uncle Bob over here, he thinks his iPad is better . 

Samantha Blake: Yes. Oh, I did one wedding one time, I think it was the grandpa or, like, a great uncle or something like that, was recording it with the flash on- 

Christa Innis: Ugh

Samantha Blake: the entire time. So, like, everybody’s trying to watch, and they’re, like, blinded if he’s, like, turning the iPad their way, and it’s just like, “Put it away, bro.” Yeah. So, like, I have all these people photos with this bright light out of nowhere over here, and I’m like, “This is fantastic. This is great.” Mm. “Love this.”

Christa Innis: Wild, wild, wild. 

Samantha Blake: Yeah. 

Christa Innis: All right. Well, thank you so much for coming on. That was- 

Samantha Blake: Of course … it 

Christa Innis: was fun, like, going back and forth with different stories and stuff ’cause, like, I’m sure you have so many. We could probably do, like, a two-hour episode with different kinds of stories. 

Samantha Blake: I have so much, dude. I… That’s why when people are like, “These stories are made up,” and I’m like, “Mm, no.”

Not at 

Christa Innis: all. 

Samantha Blake: One thing I think it’s, is… Okay, so from, like, a young age to probably about 20 or 21, I was very meek, very quiet. Like, I was in an abusive relationship, so you, like, you kind of shrink yourself to be palatable to people. And when I left that I was like, “You’re, you’re all in for a treat now because I don’t have a verbal filter.”

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Samantha Blake: So, like, when you’re willing to speak your mind, you tend to piss people off a lot because they’re not used to being called out on their behavior- 

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm … 

Samantha Blake: which intensifies their behavior. So then you just… I end up with, like, crazy stories. Even, like, we were out to dinner the other day, um, and this mom was sitting there berating her daughter.

And of course, I’m at another table, I’m like, “Hey, you’re doing good over there. Love that you’re making her cry and that you guys are just sitting here eating.” And it’s just like, stop. Stop being shitty people. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Samantha Blake: I don’t know. Yeah. But my mouth will get me in trouble eventually. It just hasn’t yet. 

Christa Innis: Oh, my gosh.

I love it. It’s so funny. Mm-hmm. Um, so where can everyone follow you for all your content and, and anything fun you’re working on? 

Samantha Blake: Um, so I, I recently started a Facebook. I don’t know why I was steering away from that, but Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube are all the same. It’s the @miss.Samantha.bee, so missSamanthaBee.

But if you see any others without the little dots in between, it’s not me. It’s a fake person. We don’t like that. I love those fake people- … out there. 

Christa Innis: One thing I never thought I’d have to deal with. It’s wild, but… 

Samantha Blake: I have… So I don’t know why I was not on Facebook. I think it’s ’cause I have so many friends and family over there.

There’s still a part of me that’s, like, embarrassed that I make videos, and I don’t want people watching it. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Samantha Blake: But I came across a page of, like, I think it was, like, 100 of my videos, and they had over 3,000 followers. And I’m like, “This isn’t me.” So then I had to start a Facebook, get it verified, like, in the Meta thingy, and now, like, I’ll report their videos ’cause mine will, mine will post first, then they’ll steal it, and then they post it.

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Samantha Blake: So I’ve gotten, like, 20-something of their videos taken down, and just yesterday, they had my profile picture. They just removed the profile picture, so now it’s just, like, that little icon of, like, a silhouette of a person. 

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. 

Samantha Blake: Um, but I’m hoping that that means the entire page is being taken down ’cause- 

Christa Innis: Yeah

Samantha Blake: I will make time to get it taken down. Yeah. 

Christa Innis: Like, 

Samantha Blake: but- Like, you will 

Christa Innis: not be imitating me anymore, thank you. No. 

Samantha Blake: No, thank you. Also, I’m so terrified of, like, and I don’t know if you deal with this, like, somebody stealing all of your videos and posting like they’re you. What if they start commenting like they’re you, but commenting things you would never comment?

It, it’s like, to me, that’s like one of my biggest fears is like what if this person makes me seem like an awful person, and they’re just really mean? 

Christa Innis: Yeah. No, I had- Because someone- … someone that, I think it was on TikTok, was pretending to be me, and they like took my picture, and they messaged a follower like, “Oh, I’ll do like a reading for you,” which I was like, “I don’t do those, obviously, on my page- Right

or anything.” And she messaged me on Instagram, was like, “Hey, just so you know, this is what just happened to me.” She’s like, “I thought it was you at first, and I got all excited ’cause I’m a big fan.” And then we were like- Yeah … chatting, and then she like, “Then I like s- kinda like asked another question.” I was like, “That’s creepy.”

It’s so weird. We- I will never just message someone and say, “Hey, can I do a reading for you?” Or can I- 

Samantha Blake: Yeah. 

Christa Innis: And then, oh, and then the person tried charging. They’re like, “Here’s my… Oh, yeah, it’s, I’ll, I do this part for free, but then this is a v- here’s my Venmo.” And I was like, “Girl, I don’t even use Venmo.” 

Samantha Blake: No.

Christa Innis: So please don’t- 

Samantha Blake: Yeah … 

Christa Innis: ask me. 

Samantha Blake: How wild. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s- 

Samantha Blake: But people will fall for it. People will do it. ‘Cause like- Mm … I hate using the term like parasocial relationship, but you do feel like you know these people, and you get excited to contact them. And- 

Christa Innis: Yeah … 

Samantha Blake: and they would do it. They would be like, “Oh, hell yeah, let me Venmo you for this.”

Yeah. And just like, “Oh, stop me.” 

Christa Innis: That’s why it’s so good to get verified on Instagram and Facebook because then people… I always tell people, I’m like, “If there’s no blue check mark, don’t… It’s not me.” Yeah. “It’s not me.” 

Samantha Blake: Yeah. 

Christa Innis: Which I always was like, “What’s the point of that?” But now I’m like, okay, now there, there is a point to it.

Samantha Blake: Now I get it. 

Christa Innis: Yeah, yeah. 

Samantha Blake: It’s impossible to get verified on TikTok too. So I had, um, I had another page that recently it got like flagged for impersonating a business. I’m like, “Bitch, do I look like a business?” Like I’m a person. Like- I’m a real person … but I got, I got flagged for impersonating a business, and I kept trying to appeal and trying to appeal and trying to appeal.

And it was like, um, like, uh, service error, temporarily unavailable, and maybe 10 days later my entire page was gone. So like- Wow … like all the followers I had built and stuff over there were now gone. So- Mm … I think I have like maybe 20,000 right now, but that’s not even a portion of what I had before it got removed.

So it’s like- Ugh. 

Christa Innis: Oh 

Samantha Blake: my God. 

Christa Innis: All that work, yeah. Like- That’s annoying. Mm-hmm. 

Samantha Blake: Well, 

Christa Innis: thank you so much for coming. It was so nice to meet you. But- I- Of 

Samantha Blake: course … 

Christa Innis: I love your content. Me too. You do great storytelling, so everyone needs to go check you out. And- Thank you … thanks for being here. 

Samantha Blake: Awesome, thank you. I really appreciate it.

It was nice to meet you. 

Christa Innis: You too.

by Christa Innis

Drunk Groomsmen, Reception Cancellations, and a Missing Truck

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Apparently, “I do” also comes with a side of family chaos. 

For this week’s episode we’re flying solo and diving into stories that remind us weddings rarely go exactly as planned. I weigh in on listeners’ wedding dilemmas about a future mother-in-law who seems more interested in stealing the spotlight than supporting the couple.

I delve into two wedding stories: One couple is forced to find a brand-new reception venue after theirs suddenly closes just weeks before the big day. Another bride wakes up on her wedding morning to discover the truck carrying their marriage license has vanished.

To wrap things up, I read listener confessions about unfair family expectations and shares why healthy boundaries matter long after the wedding ends. Whether you’re planning a wedding or just love messy family drama, this episode has plenty to unpack.

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Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • Mother-in-Law Wants the Spotlight – A bride worries her future MIL cares more about her own grand entrance than celebrating the couple.
  • 41 Days to Find a New Venue – A reception venue unexpectedly closes, forcing the couple to start over and proving that Plan B can still become a cherished memory.
  • The Jail Cell, and the Marriage License – A groom’s brother steals the couple’s truck, nearly derailing the wedding after taking the marriage license with him.
  • When Family Comes Before Your Marriage – Christa reacts to a husband repeatedly choosing his family over his new wife.
  • Confessions About Family Expectations – Listeners share the unrealistic demands relatives have placed on them, reinforcing the importance of healthy boundaries.
  • Ignoring Red Flags Doesn’t Make Them Disappear – Wedding stress may reveal family dynamics that couples need to address long before they become marriage problems.
  • Accountability Matters – Mistakes happen, but healing becomes much harder when someone refuses to take responsibility for the damage they’ve caused.
  • Your Partner Should Handle Their Family – Setting boundaries with difficult in-laws is much easier when your partner is the one leading the conversation.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  • “When someone’s not contributing financially or showing interest in being a part of the planning doesn’t mean they don’t support you or they’re not interested.”
  • “You should not be having to tell him. He should be standing up for you. This is your husband now.”
  • “As you get older, you choose who you want in your life, and if they treat you in a bad way, you don’t have to let them around.” 
  • “You are in charge of who you let into your space and how often they have access to you. I think we say that a lot. Boundaries, right?”
  • “Lesson, guys. Don’t drive drunk. Use an Uber.”

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

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A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Here Comes the Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis, and I am recording at night, and so it feels a little moody, a little different. mom life kind of got in the way. Actually, you know, I can’t even blame it on that. and it’s not a blame anyway, but I just feel like I try to batch record, and then I push off solo episodes until the last minute sometimes because I’m like, “Okay, I want, like, updated information on there so that when it comes out, it doesn’t feel, too late.”

Late Night Catch-Up 

 and there’s just been so much going on, personal life, business life, and everything else, just trying to manage it all. moms, parents, I mean anyone listening. Life is busy, right? you guys know how that goes. But I feel like we’ll have, these kind of, like, slow moments, and then all of a sudden it just gets really crazy.

Or I’ll let myself have, a really quiet morning and just hang out with my daughter, and then all of a sudden it’s like panic mode of like, oh my gosh, I have, like, eight things to get done during her, three-hour nap time. So it’s just been kind of crazy. she’s in T-ball now, too, and so there’s, like, night games, and so I think it just makes our evenings go a little bit quicker.

 so anyway, just a little behind the scenes. I’m just jumping right in this week, you guys. so before I get into today, what I am gonna do is I have a dilemma that someone sent me, and then I have two stories we’re gonna read this week. and if I seem to be looking, if you’re watching the video, if I seem to be looking down, I’m still figuring out my camera situation.

I know many of you guys are, like, sick of me saying it. it feels, especially when I have someone else on, it feels funny to just look at the camera and not the person’s face. So I’m looking at the person’s face, right? But then in the video, I’m looking down, and It’s very hard for me. I’m very, like, if I meet you in person, I’m looking at you in the eyes if I’m talking to you in person.

So, when it’s solo, I can do it a little bit better, but even so, I’m, looking at my notes, and so I feel like I’m looking all over the place. okay, so like I said, I am recording this at night. My husband is in bed. My daughter’s in bed, and I was like, “I’m gonna make myself a cup of tea.” Here’s my mug.

It says, “Think happy thoughts.” drinking my bedtime tea. I, it’s like a habit. I have to drink it every night. Starting off, just a couple of updates. I’ve been really loving this Scarlett skit, the groom’s mom Scarlett skit. And just a little behind the scenes I’ve talked about a little bit.

So this is based on a true story that was sent to me, but it’s one of those where I’m kinda going, kind of … I’m really going off the cuff. because she gave me some great highlights, a little behind the scenes into their relationship, and then it kinda like skips ahead. And I was like really feeling like a detailed longer skit.

and she has provided me with extra information, but I’ve just have gone a little cuckoo with this one. but it’s a lot of fun. But now I’m kinda like timing it off because I am going on, a little family trip over the summer. I just wanna make sure, like, I take a little break and really, be present during the trip.

So we’re gonna see how it all plays out. I might have to do a season two or something. Again, not holding my breath for that. Don’t hold yours either. We will see. I know people are still holding their breath for the Elle and Vivian skit season two, and if I could apologize 100 times over, I would.

It’s funny because I was these characters. I am these characters, you know, when I act it out. But you guys are so much better at remembering things than I am. Like, I was just at the Hilary Duff concert last weekend, and this woman came up to me, and she was so sweet. And she was like, “You read my story.”

And I was like, “Oh, my gosh, what was the story?” And she said it was about a bridesmaid that went AWOL, and they were like … I think it was a wild goose chase is what she said. And I was like stumped. I was like I cannot think of it. So if you guys can think of it, let me know. I think she said the character’s name was Brooke.

I need to still look it up. And I felt so bad ’cause I was like, “I can’t remember your story.” And I was like there’s certain ones that like really stick out to me just ’cause I like grabbed them and I like ran with it. so I have to try to find her, or if someone can tell me if they remember a Brooke in a story.

Her name was not Brooke, just to be very clear. Her name was not Brooke. She said the character in the story that I made was named Brooke. so I have to kinda figure that out. But back to the Elle and Vivian skit, so many people will go back, or they just found me, and they’re listening to the skit.

And they’re like, what the hell? There’s no season two. Where’s season two? It said there was gonna be more coming.” And when I did that, I didn’t have a plan to do season two. and it kind of like all these other things started happening. Life happens. And they’re like, “Well, she’s putting out all her skits,” and I’m like, it’s not like I’m avoiding it.

I just like … Yeah, I don’t know. Also, once you do like a season two, you Have to go back to season one and make sure everything matches up, and, like, kind of it goes in line. One more thing I do wanna say about the Elle and Vivian skit, and this was okay to say give, and not giving it away.

So I did receive an update from the person that we would call Elle, right? The person that wrote this in, and she did say, her partner kinda wanted me to stop sharing more information because he was kind of afraid people would know it was them. And so I’ve changed a lot, so if you think it’s someone, it probably is not.

I’ve changed a lot. So season two is gonna go, way different. I do have plans for it eventually, but that would require me to go all the way back. Like I said, you guys are way better at remembering these things. Go back and listen to all of season one, which I can do, obviously, and then make my notes and plan out season two.

So just think of it as, like, a TV show, guys. it’s only me that’s coming up with these skit ideas, so I don’t have, a whole team behind me writing them, editing, and all that stuff. So just be patient with me. And again, I appreciate the love for all that 

Okay. one more final update and then I will promise I’ll get to the stuff. I know people don’t like the chitchat, but sometimes I just feel like I need to chitchat, especially when it’s nighttime. I need to get, the energy going, ‘ cause at night I’m like, my body’s like wanting to go to sleep. I was, laying in bed with my daughter reading books with her, and I was like, “I can’t.

 I gotta get the energy going for this podcast.” Okay. So one more update is I got the latest update or latest edits of book number two, Drama Ever After, just sent to me this week. So I send you guys updates here and there. I’ve had multiple comments come through asking about book number two. And in case you missed it,

 we are doing a slightly different process than the first one. The first one I did fully, indie publisher. 

 my husband helped me. We got it all together. We did the research. I had my friend design the cover. Look at this amazing cover. Shout out to Oak and Air. and she’s just amazing. She helps me with all my branding stuff. Known her for years now. But, anyway, so book two is gonna be a little bit different of how we’re trying to get this, published.

So we’re going through so many different edits and all that stuff. So I just got that back, so I have to do another read through. so the reason why I’ve been able to, get this stuff out and skits out so quickly is because that was in the hands of someone else. So just letting you guys know it might, slow down a little bit.

All right, let’s get to the good stuff. dilemmas. this was a dilemma someone sent me. A reminder that you guys can always send me new wedding dilemmas. You can DM me on social media, or email me, hello@christainnis.com. And these are things that you’re currently going through, and just want either some advice, you want, some support, you want me to share it on social media to see what other people think, you want me to do a poll, whatever that looks like.

Future Mother-in-Law from Hell

So here we go. ” We’re getting married this September, and my future mother-in-law hasn’t contributed anything toward the wedding. We’ve paid for everything ourselves. She has had no input in planning, “Doesn’t even want to walk my fiancé down the aisle, but still insists on having her own walk down the aisle.”

What? She doesn’t wanna walk him, but she wants her own moment of walking herself. Okay. ” She also won’t let me help her pick out a dress. She wants to wear a very low cut V-neck dress, and when I gently suggested something with a little more coverage, she immediately said no. On top of that, she openly criticized my wedding shoes saying they are such a bad brand.

I can’t believe she got those. Do they even match the dress?”

She’s saying, “Like, girl, be for real. It’s my wedding. My fiancé’s entire family will be there, and from everything I’ve heard, she’s usually the one who starts the family drama and then plays the victim afterward. I’m honestly so nervous that she’ll cause problems on the wedding day or refuse to participate altogether.

At this point, it feels like she’s only showing up because her son is getting married, not because she actually wants to support us. I’d love to hear your take on this matter.” Ooh, that’s a lot. Okay, first thing that I wanna say is people show support in different ways. So I wouldn’t necessarily say because someone’s not contributing financially or showing interest in being a part of the planning doesn’t mean they don’t support you or they’re not interested.

That does not apply to this person. It sounds like she’s making it very clear, like she wants it to be about her. The moments where she’s included needs to be about her. She wants the dress she wants, which again, I’m not super picky about a dress, but if you’ve, been like, “Hey, here’s a great mother of the groom dress,” and she’s like, “No, no, no, I’m not doing that.”

she has comments about the dress. She wants to have her own walk down the aisle, which I think is very bizarre. 

Okay, so it sounds like she starts a lot of the family drama, which I don’t love, because people will probably know her as someone that’s gonna just stir the pot or say things that’s what’s ever on her mind. and that could make you a little nervous, right? I said this so many times before, I think as women, I think we get nervous more about this stuff, and we overthink about it a lot.

And we think it’s our job to make sure everyone’s doing exactly what they need to be doing, right? And a lot of times it does come down to that. But when it’s comes to his mom and how she’s acting, he needs to be the one that talks to her. Because you are kind of an extension, right? I mean, of the new family, she’s an extension, but of the old family, you are this new part coming in, right?

So I don’t know how their relationship is, but the fact that she is showing no interest, she’s making comments about your shoes, she likes to start drama, tells me that she’s trying to assert her own dominance. ” Oh, I don’t care about this. Oh, I’m, I don’t care about my son’s wedding enough to really be involved.”

So I think if there’s these concerns, you need to talk with your partner, and then have your partner talk with her about what is maybe expected of her that day. Be very clear, ” We are not gonna be having you walk down the aisle by yourself. This is what we would like. Can you walk Brian down the aisle? No?

Then okay, you’ll be sitting in this spot.” It’s hard when you anticipate something possibly happening because unless there’s an actual sure way to know, you can’t really, stop them from coming, right? Unless she’s, like, threatened to do something or you know at every wedding she shows up wearing a white dress and a veil, you know, whatever that is.

 so I would just have people on standby. I would have your fiancé talk to her, and he- gotta speak her language, right? And I hate to say it like that, but it’s like, giving little tidbits, right? if she needs a little bit of control or she needs to feel like she’s heard in some way, have him give her a little bit, and then be like, “But this is our boundary and this is what we’re doing.

If there’s anything that kind of goes outside of that, we’re gonna be swiftly, like, it’s your time to go.” And I hate to be like that, but I think people like this thrive off a little bit of drama. And so if she feels like she has that control, and if things aren’t going her way, she’ll start a little bit of drama.

We need to make sure she’s, on her toes. She knows the rules, and if she doesn’t follow those rules, then she’s gonna be out the door. and I know that sounds very, like, cut and dry, but with someone like this, you just have to be ready for a plan B if something were to happen. She might surprise you.

She might just not like to be a part of weddings, and she might just not know what to say. that does not excuse her rude comments about your shoes or any other rude comments she may have, she might have made or may make in the future. So leave everything to your fiancé. Talk with him, about what your concerns are.

And as long as he’s on the same page, you know he has your back. So let me know what you guys think in the comments about all of this. and I hope, that helps. I hope you have a great wedding day come September. All right

Again, if you have your own wedding dilemma, you can DM me on, Instagram’s probably the best social media platform to send it to me. otherwise you can email me, hello@christainnis.com. All right. I always feel like when I’m reading at night that I read, so much, like, calmer, and it almost reminds me of people that, read audiobooks.

 I know people are gonna be like, “You should read an audiobook for your next book.” that’s a lot of work, and I feel like I would lose my voice, but we’ll see. Anyway, I’ve got two stories for you guys tonight. The first one’s a little bit shorter, so let’s get into it. All right. Here we go.

41 Days Before the Wedding 

My husband and I got married almost nine years ago in Denver. It was the second marriage for both of us, and we have adult kids and extended family who planned to join us for what was essentially a domestic destination wedding since some family members lived nearby while we lived out of state. We had planned a church ceremony and booked a restaurant downtown for the reception.

It had been open for thirty-four years and served authentic French cuisine. It was in a great location, had decent parking for a busy city, and it was the perfect size for our smaller wedding of about seventy-five guests. Everything was set for a Saturday evening ceremony and reception. Then forty-one days before the wedding, family members saw on the news that the restaurant was closing.

The land had been sold, likely for redevelopment, and I’m sure there’s a skyscraper there now. Forty-one days. Oh, no, this is taking a different turn than I thought. My husband called the restaurant to complain, but the manager told him he also found out the news and had just learned he was losing his job.

The restaurant officially closed two weeks before our wedding. Thankfully, we did get our deposit back, which is very rare when th-things like that happen. We scrambled to call venues all over Denver, trying to find a replacement for our reception. Eventually, we found a place that was available and willing to do a tasting.

It was primarily a breakfast and lunch spot but hosted private events in the evenings and luckily they were open on our wedding date. Because I needed to save vacation time for our honeymoon, my husband flew to Colorado alone and attended the tasting. He liked the food, so he booked it.

That’s how we ended up having our reception at a breakfast spot. It turned out to be a Creole restaurant, and despite the fact I never even tasted the food beforehand, it ended up being the best possible option. It wasn’t what I originally had envisioned, but it saved the day, and I now have so many great memories from our reception at that amazing little place.

Okay, that turned out to be a really cute story. I was not sure which way that was gonna go. this also shows you brides, future brides, or just, people in general that, have an event coming up or something, they’re looking forward to There are bad things that can happen, right? There are last-minute things, things will go wrong, right?

But sometimes someone will come through and save the day. If you keep pushing and you’re persistent, and there will be a solution. Not always what you see or h- not always what you had planned, but there will be some kind of solution. I know so many people that had their weddings canceled during COVID, like the height of COVID, you and People weren’t getting their, deposits back. Restaurants were closing. they were told, like with no time. I had so many people that had to cancel or move locations, and that’s a lot. some didn’t get married for years after because they couldn’t find a spot. and it’s so hard in those moments to be like, “Okay, this is for the best.

This is what was supposed to happen,” and you kind of wanna like when someone says that, you’re just like, ” Okay, I don’t need to hear that this was supposed to happen.” But I’m glad they were able to look back and be like, “Okay, this worked out for the better. I’m glad it happened this way.”

Drunks and Jails: Brother-in-Law Mayhem 

Okay, so that one started off with like a kind of light drama issue, just to get us in there a little bit. All right, next story. 

Oh gosh, you guys, this one starts with, ” Oh, do I have one for you?” You know this is gonna be good when it starts like that. For some quick background, my husband and I had a semi-destination wedding about six hours from our home. It was a small wedding, and we rented a large Airbnb on the water for a long weekend, which is also where we held the ceremony.

That’s pretty cool. We decided on a no-kids wedding, which most people respected, aside from a little pushback from my sister-in-law, who had a baby that would’ve been almost one by the wedding. Thankfully, she didn’t bring the baby. Since we had the Airbnb for the whole weekend, we invited some close friends and family to stay with us.

The night and day before the wedding, were spent setting everything up ourselves. That same night, the guys decided to go out to a bar. I begged my fiancé to stay with me, but he looked me dead in the eye and said, “No.” What do we feel about this? I was just doing a YouTube video about, 

 a wedding vendor, and she said the groomsmen didn’t come home until 5:00 AM. So when she was getting there to start doing makeup, the men were still outside, like, drunk coming home. And she’s like, “Meanwhile, the bridesmaids were, a little drunk, but they were, like, better.” And I’ve been a part of weddings like that so many times where it’s like, okay, we’ve got, like, maybe we’ll have a glass of champagne, but, we’ve got our eye masks on.

We are in our jammies by, like, 9:00 PM. Like, we’re going to bed early, and then the men are just, out going rampant. And I’m just like, for my, own wedding, there was a bar connected to the condo we met- we, used for our wedding stuff. And so, my husband went with, some of the groomsmen, but he was like, “I don’t wanna be, like, hungover or, uncomfortable.”

He doesn’t even drink anymore, but, like, at this time, he did, and he was like, ” I don’t wanna be hungover or, like, not feel well, in the morning, so I’ll have, like, one drink.” And, I was like, ” You know what? You’re an adult. Do whatever you want.” But I hear about this a lot, so let me know what you guys think about this.

 if I had this preference where I was like, “Hey, just stay back. I know how your friends get. They get kinda crazy, and we have to be up early or whatever,” and they just go, “Mm, no,” I’d be questioning a lot, I think. It’s like any other night, sure, whatever, but it’s your wedding night. Okay. “He came back later that night very drunk.

I was annoyed, but figured as long as he was good to go for the wedding, I would let it go for the moment.” Also, like, why do you wanna be drunk before your wedding? Like, come on. wait till the party until after. That’s what I don’t get. I’m just like, have fun with your friends. No one’s saying, like, don’t go out and have fun, but it’s like, you can’t just, reel it in a little bit one night?

” The next morning, I woke up and started checking things off my to-do list. One of the most important tasks was getting our marriage license to my uncle, who was officiating. I went outside to the truck to grab it, and the truck was gone Oh, no. I went back inside, woke up my fiancé, and asked if he knew where it was.

At first, we assumed someone had borrowed it to run a quick errand. We started calling around to the family and friends, and no one had it. Then we realized his brother was also missing. This is what I mean. This is what I mean, guys. Like, have you not seen The Hangover? Come on. We don’t do a bachelor party or the bachelorette party the weekend of, especially not the night before, a wedding.

Okay? Bad things happen. Let’s just not do it. Oh, Lord have mercy. Okay. Cue the panic. We called and called with no answer. At that point, we started worrying something had happened, calling hospitals, trying to track him down. Finally, someone suggested we try calling the jail. Yep, he was in jail

This is like The Hangover. Searching all these places. where’s the brother? Where’s the brother? Like… Okay. Apparently, sometime during the night, he came back to the Airbnb even though he wasn’t staying there, stole the truck, drove it drunk to meet with a one-night stand, got pulled over, and was arrested.

Lesson, guys. Don’t drive drunk. Use an Uber. it still blows my mind when people get, DUIs. I’m like, if you can’t afford a DUI or, be smart- Or Call an Uber. it’s not even about that. You hurt someone seriously. Like, that, drives me so mad. that makes me so mad when people are irresponsible with it Oh my gosh, I could go on a whole thing about this.

Okay. I was gonna say it’s someone that drove drunk. It’s someone that was being irresponsible and dumb and drove drunk. Okay, so the truck has their marriage license in it

I’m not gonna shame them and wonder why the, marriage license was in the truck, but it is a weird spot for a marriage license. But that’s besides the point. The brother should have never taken the truck. Okay, she says, “Oh, and the truck had been impounded with our marriage license inside.

So instead of relaxing and getting ready for my wedding, I spent the entire morning tracking down which impound lot the truck was in so we could retrieve the license. We managed to find it, pay the impound fees” He better have paid you back … ” and get everything back just in time for the ceremony.” Lord, I would be so livid.

I don’t even think I could look him in the face ever again. You ruined my wedding day Because you were selfish for so many reasons. You, you stole our truck, you were drunk, and you were going to meet a one-night stand

you ruin that like moment for her, for all of them. I would not be able to look at him. I’d be like, “Don’t even be in the wedding at this point, please.” I did end up running a bit late, but honestly, everyone expected me to at that point. The ceremony itself was beautiful, minus one groomsman who was still in jail because it was a holiday weekend and there was no judge available.

Good. He should sit in jail, and he should think about what he did. Miss your brother’s wedding, you have to live with that for the rest of your life because you were dumb. Sorry. I married my husband, and for a moment, I felt like everything had finally settled. Nope. Someone decided it would be a great idea to bail my brother-in-law out of jail and bring him straight to the wedding.

Nope, that person’s going to jail too. No, I’m not, doing that. I didn’t say anything. I figured if my husband wanted his whole family there, then that was his decision. The next day, we were all still at the Airbnb enjoying the post-wedding hangout. Then my brother-in-law showed up again. I told my husband I didn’t want him there, but he insisted his brother should stay I’m kind of liking this fiancé right now, and I’m sorry if he’s your…

Well, I guess he’s your husband now, and I’m sorry. But for one, he went out the night before, looked you in the face, came home drunk

Okay? But we know this brother-in-law messed up the wedding morning. He was dumb. And now they’re like, “No, he should come hang out with us.” Okay. She said, “I let it go until everyone started drinking again. At some point, my brother-in-law said something to one of the groomsmen, let’s call him Jay, which turned into a full-blown argument that escalated into a physical fight.”

Who is this brother-in-law? Get him out of here. ” My husband stepped in and ended up with a broken toe trying to break it up.” Mm-mm. Brother-in-law has got to go. Says, “Jay left, but my brother-in-law went back inside the house. At that point, I was done. I went inside and told him to leave. He refused, saying he had every right to be there because his whole family was there.

I told him the Airbnb was in my name, and if he didn’t leave, I would call the police.” Where is your husband at this time? Where is he? Because this is his responsibility. He needs to tell the brother to leave. You should not be having to tell him. He should be standing up for you. This is your husband now.

” Then I walked away. I ended up arguing with my husband, and I told him I wanted to press charges against his brother for stealing the truck.” Yes. ” At that point, I stopped speaking to my husband altogether.” This is a wild story, you guys. ” I went back downstairs. My brother-in-law had finally left, which was the only small win.

Jay had been staying at the Airbnb too, but after the fight, I texted him to let him know he was no longer welcome and gave his room to another guest.” Oh, no. Was this Jay guy drinking now, so he’s driving around drunk? Like, I’m so confused. “

Later that night, Jay either ignored or didn’t see my message and showed up anyway That’s gonna be a problem. Everyone was already asleep when he arrived, drunk and loud, pounding on the door of the room my friend was now staying in. He woke everyone up, and before leaving, he punched a hole in the wall, causing more damage to the Airbnb.

I see why you didn’t want your husband to go out with these guys now, but also, like, why is he friends with guys like this? I shouldn’t say they have drinking problems, ’cause I know, like, around weddings and events, people drink, but We all drink. 

Around weddings and events, whatever. But they sound aggressive. Your husband ignores you and, does not have your back during any of this. I wouldn’t wanna marry someone like that. Like, they don’t respect you Also very risky giving his room to a friend. not coming on, not your fault, but, the fact that he could’ve just come home and, just gone in that room if someone were, like, changing.

You know? You just never know. That’s… Stuff freaks me out. Okay. Geez. “Through all of this, my husband never had my back. When I told him I wanted to press charges against his brother, he went to his family, and since they all said no, he didn’t.” Divorce. I’m sorry. Like, that sounds dramatic, but this is your wedding day, wedding night, wedding week, and he couldn’t respect you.

He couldn’t listen to one thing you said. He allowed all this to happen, and I know it was the brother’s choice to drive drunk, but he started all of this, and he did not stand up for you at one time.

I’m stressed for you. ” The day we were supposed to leave for our honeymoon in Mexico, I told him I wasn’t going and that I wasn’t even going to file the marriage certificate because of how many times he chose his family over me that weekend.” Yes. ” We did…” Oh, okay, there’s a change here. ” We did eventually work things out.

It’s been almost six years now, but his brother still has never apologized for anything he did. He believes that spending one night in jail was punishment enough.” Oh, boo hoo. No, it wasn’t. That would make me mad for eternity. No, I don’t know. To be around that toxicity, the brother-in-law going to act that way and not apologize to you, his brother’s wife, I could never be around someone like that.

That’s terrible. ” It also took years and a lot of couples therapy for my husband to even acknowledge he had any fault in what happened.” How did you guys eventually work things out, though? That’s what I’m wondering. Like, who made the decision to say, “You know what? We should try this again,” if he couldn’t even apologize or realize that he had any fault?

The fact that he didn’t even back you up. He didn’t wanna press charges against his brother for stealing your truck and literally ruining your wedding morning. That’s literally, picked his brother before anybody. That is wild. Oh my gosh. She said, “Let’s just say it was a wedding weekend I’ll never forget.”

This poor woman. everything she has feels like, “Okay, he’s apologetic, and we can work through this, and we’re good.” I mean, she said it’s been six years now. But I don’t know if I could let something like that go. It wasn’t just a random day or a random holiday, it was your wedding day.

You plan for this, you spend tons of money on it, you picture everything, and he had to be dumb. If I had done something stupid to ever ruin someone’s wedding day, You better believe I would be kissing their feet for the rest of their life. That’s how I am. I could, like, forget someone’s birthday, and, like, the next day I’m texting them and I’m like, “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry I forgot your birthday.”

 this would literally make me feel so upset. Like, oh my gosh. The fact that the brother’s never apologized, I need to know, like, are you going to family holidays? Are you going to family birthdays? did the rest of his family apologize? Like, This is terrible. that’s a very wild story.

I feel like if you guys have 100%, worked through everything and you’re happy, and you guys are a healthy relationship now, you should redo something. Do some kind of vow renewal thing, or redo a ceremony with just the two of you and, trusted friends. Like, what happened to this Jay guy? Like, who’s this Jay guy?

Is he still a friend? I think your husband needs new friends Wow, that would make a good skit. All right, guys. Well, that’s wild jail story. this poor woman. I really hope to God that they’ve worked things out and it’s much better now. But I don’t know, you guys. I don’t know, guys. Wow.

Family Expectations and Wedding Confessions 

Okay. All right. let’s get to this week’s confessions. All right, we asked, “Be honest, what’s something a family member expected from you that felt unfair?” Okay. This says, “As a kid, I always got less presents than my brother and had to be grateful for what I got.” Oh, that’s so sad. It’s sad ’cause, like, I think people don’t think kids notice that, but I think they do sometimes.

 that’s why I only have one. ” To let my grandma’s friend come to our very small ceremony that we already cut people from.” Yeah, that’s hard. ” Money because I got a bonus.” What? A family member expected money from you because you got a bonus? That’s the thing, they always say, like, when you win, the lottery or you win some kind of thing, to be careful about who you tell, because people will start kinda coming out of the woodworks.

“Oh, well, remember when we were 15 years old and I bought you that CD for $10? Remember when this happened?” Then people just kinda, like, start coming out asking you for money. That’s wild, though. ” Mother-in-law posted on Facebook with her friend’s grandkids playing grandma to try to get us to try…” Ew. So weird.

” Being the perfect sister to siblings that treat me like shit or I’m the bad one.” I feel like there’s a lot of, pressure like that when it comes to siblings of, like, the blood is thicker than water kinda thing, and it’s… As you get older, you kinda realize, you choose who you want in your life, and if they treat you in a bad way, you don’t have to let ’em around.

You just don’t. You are in charge of who you let into your space and how often they have access to you. I think we say that a lot. Boundaries, right? All right, last one. “My husband had to leave our reception to deal with his drunk grandpa. His mom wouldn’t do it. She hid.” She hid?

It sucks when it’s someone, like, taking away from your day. But especially when it’s, like, a family member and someone else could probably handle it. they’re gonna have the husband leave the reception. That’s pretty crappy. Sorry that happened. Wow. Okay, guys. That was a lot. It’s late. I hope that you guys enjoy these wild episodes.

I know I did. you guys are always keeping me on my toes, and I’m always looking for the next skit, as this one is coming to a close. By the time you guys listen to this, episode, I think we’ll be done with the Scarlett story. and then for everybody wondering if it’s not up yet, we do compile them all into one long story.

And then YouTube just started this feature called, Shows, which is really awesome for the kind of series I do because they’ll automatically put them in order and then play them just like a TV show, kind of like YouTube or something. but yeah. So I’m working on a next storyline for you guys. Again, by the time you hear this, it’ll probably already be out.

 and then I have a bunch of minis that I’ll be posting pretty soon because, your girl’s gotta take some time off this summer and work on some other stuff as well. But excited for some new content coming out. Like I said, we started the first Coffee I have some other little minis in the works that I’m really excited for, just some new characters coming out and just having some fun with some different things.

But that’s all I got. Thanks for hanging out with me this week, and I will see you next time. Bye now.

by Christa Innis

UnHinged Stories, Passed Out Best Man, and MOB Who Took Over with Kristen Knutson

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

Get the book!

A wedding day is supposed to be about the couple. Unfortunately, someone forgot to tell Mom. 

In this episode, Kristen Knutson joins me to talk about wedding guests who can’t resist stepping in with their own cameras, plus the unhinged wedding gift stories she brought to the episode. It simply answers that sometimes the best way to support a couple is to simply let them enjoy the moment.

We react to a photographer’s wild submission about a mother of the bride who couldn’t let go of control. After crashing the engagement session, she continued taking over the wedding day, creating chaos for the couple and vendors. And just when they thought they’d seen it all, the best man collapsed before the ceremony.

Together, we talk about where support ends and control begins, and why protecting a couple’s experience sometimes means setting boundaries with the people closest to them.

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month! 

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • Boomer Mom Origins  – Kristen explains how becoming a mom in 2021 sparked her viral “Boomer Mom” skits, starting with the now‑infamous almond‑for‑lunch story.
  • Snack Culture Mirror  – Christa and Kristen laugh about kids copying their parents’ constant snacking, realizing that the quirks they poke fun at are the same ones they pass down.
  • Unhinged Wedding Gifts  – Kristen brings in jaw‑dropping stories from mothers and mother-in-laws in weddings.
  • Generational Parenting Shifts – They reflect on how past generations raised kids with one “right way,” while today’s parents face information overload and endless choices.
  • Reception Speech Meltdown – Mom gave a child‑sized ’90s backpack, and passed around childhood bathtub photos to the entire room.
  • Hijacked Engagement – The bride’s mom showed up uninvited, lurking behind trees and criticizing her daughter’s appearance

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  • “Everyone knows who the moms are. You’re gonna wear a beautiful dress, and it’s gonna be special. You don’t need a big spotlight on you for people to recognize.” – Christa Innis
  • “Don’t change that about yourself.’ I think it’s great, and I do think that we’re all products of our generation.” – Christa Innis
  • “We’re gonna have our thing that when they’re older they’re gonna complain about.” – Christa Innis
  • “You’re scrolling through different people’s talents, and I think it’s really beautiful in that way ’cause it creates this community and creates this excitement for different kinds of talents and people kind of coming together.” – Christa Innis
  • “Maybe it’s not meant for you. That’s okay.” – Christa Innis
  • “Ultimately, your parents are responsible for their own feelings and their own day.” – Kristen Knutson
  • “When our boomer parents were raising us, it was just like there was one way of doing things, and that was the information that they were fed.” – Kristen Knutson
  • “You gotta go with your gut.” – Kristen Knutson
  • “Today there’s like thousands of different ways of doing one thing in parenting.” – Kristen Knutson
  • “It’s been fun ’cause I’ve been able to find my voice and just find my passion by just trial and error on my own.”  – Kristen Knutson

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

About Kristen

Kristen Knutson is a digital creator, storyteller, and comedian who became known for her “Boomer Mom” skits after starting content creation in 2021, when she became a mother. Her first viral video captured the generational clash between her own baby‑boomer mom, who could go all day without eating, and Kristen’s need for regular meals. That relatable humor set the tone for her work, which focuses on family dynamics and motherhood.

Kristen rediscovered her childhood love of making skits through social media. Today she continues to grow her audience by turning everyday parenting chaos and generational differences into comedy that resonates across generations.

Follow Kristen Knutson

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

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Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi, Kristen. Thanks for being here 

Kristen Knutson: Hello. Thanks for having me. 

Christa Innis: Of course. So we were just talking before we jumped on, but you do like the infamous, boomer mom, like, funny skits, and I just think you’re hilarious. So kind of just jumping right in, what started these skits, and like Do you remember, like, what your first skit was that, really took off?

Kristen Knutson: Yes, I do. So what started it was me becoming a mom. I had my first kid in 2021, and that’s when I really started to notice all of the quirks and, like, the weird tips that my mom had. I have a mom who’s a baby boomer. I’m a millennial, and I see a lot of differences in our generations. So the first skit that I posted that went viral It was about, this is something that I still deal with my mom to this day, where, like, I’ll spend the entire day with her, and I swear to God she doesn’t eat, or she’ll eat, like, one almond the entire day. And I’m, like, the k- type of person who needs to eat, like, actual meals, like breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks in between.

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

The Almond Mom 

Kristen Knutson: And we’ll be together, like, we’d be, like, out with the baby or whatever, and I would need… And I was, like, breastfeeding too, and I’m like, “Hey, should we go get lunch?” And she’s like, “Oh, you’re hungry? Oh my gosh, you’re hungry?” Like, she kept, being shocked that I’m hungry. I’m like, “We haven’t eaten in, like, six hours.

This is insane behavior.” So I remember posting that, and that was the first one that went viral. So it, was- Oh my God … like, therapeutic to me to see that a lot of other people dealt with that. 

Christa Innis: It’s so funny ‘my mom’s very similar to that too. I’ll be like, “Oh, I’ve gotta eat.” And she’s like, “We just ate.”

And I’m like, ” Mom, that was hours ago.” I need at least, a bar in my purse at all times so I can have some kind of snack. that is- Yeah … so funny. I feel like I saw that one. I was like, “Yeah, that’s very relatable.” We’ll have, like, holidays- For sure … and she’ll be like, “Well, I don’t wanna serve anything before because you guys will get full.”

And I’m like, ” But then we won’t eat for the first, four hours that we’re there.” 

Kristen Knutson: Right. What is that? Like, I need, emotional support snacks on me- Yeah … at all times and for whatever reason. People do say that your appetite decreases as you get older, but I haven’t experienced that in my life yet, so.

Christa Innis: Yeah. So we- We’ll see. 

and it’s so funny. I don’t know if you find this as a parent too, is what we, like, talk about our daughter, and we’ll be like, All she wants is snacks. All she wants is snacks.” And then I’m like, literally as I’m saying it, I’m, like, shoveling, like, chips and salsa in my mouth, and I’m like, “Okay, well, I know where she gets 

Kristen Knutson: it.”

Okay, that’s actually a really good point. I need to look inward more because my kids are the same. They snack all day. I’m probably the problem. They’re just watching me eating all day. 

Christa Innis: I know, and then I try to explain. I’m like, “No, it’s dinner time.” And then I’m like, I just off, a call- Yeah

or something, so I’m, like, shoveling, almonds in my mouth, and I’m like, “Oh, well, whatever.” 

Kristen Knutson: Right, that’s true. They’re sponges. They’re just watching us. 

Christa Innis: We’re gonna have our thing that when they’re older they’re gonna complain about. They’re be like, “Well, my mom says, this, and she’s always snacking.”

I’m like, “Yeah. You need to have a snack.” 

Kristen Knutson: Totally. Yes, that’s true, and I think that’s, one of those things in parenting that’s very humbling because you tell them to do a lot of things, and then you do them yourselves, and you notice that a lot more where it’s like, “Shoot, I actually do this.”

So – 

Christa Innis: Oh, yeah. I know. It’s kind of funny. we’re in the toddler stages right now. Uh, my daughter’s three, and it’s like she’ll do something and I’m like, “Oh, that was straight up from me.” I literally did that gest- or I said it. this new thing is, if she kinda has, an attitude, I go, “Excuse me?”

And now she uses that against me. I’ll be like- … “Hey, don’t do that,” or She’ll look at me and she’ll go, “Excuse me?” And I’m like- … “Oh, no.” 

Kristen Knutson: It’s like looking in a mirror. It’s like looking in a mirror. It’s so great. 

Christa Innis: Oh, my God. It’s great. okay. So kind of backtracking for everyone listening, can you just tell them a little bit- Yeah

about you and what you do? I know we talked about, like, how you got into this, but, just more about your content 

Meet Boomer Mom 

Kristen Knutson: Sure. So I’m a digital creator, storyteller, comedian. mostly all of my content is focused around comedic and dramatic skit content, which is around family dynamics and motherhood.

 so most people know me as Boomer Mom. That’s, my signature character, and I always say if you’ve ever had a conversation with your mom and you’ve needed to recover afterwards, then you’re my target audience. my content is for you. 

Christa Innis: Love it. 

Kristen Knutson: So I’ve been doing it since 2021, so that was since my son was born, so it’s been about five years, and there’s endless content.

So I’m still going strong, and I love it. It’s tons of fun. 

Christa Innis: I find so many- Yeah … people I’ve talked to and met through here started, either maternity leave or when they became moms themselves, ‘ cause that was, like, for me too. It was, like, during mat leave I was like, “I wanna start making some kind of content,” and that’s, when I started making it.

But, so I find that really interesting. And you’ve also featured your actual mom in some of your skits too I’ve seen, right? 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah. So Yeah, she’s such a good sport. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. so she- She’s funny. 

Kristen Knutson: She’s- … she likes 

Christa Innis: it? 

Kristen Knutson: She likes it. Yes, she likes it. she’s funny. She has a good sense of humor, and I think similarly to me, she’s very self-deprecating, so she recognizes herself in the content, which is…

I appreciate that. I do have a Boomer audience who actually follows me, and they bond with their kids and their grandkids over it, and I’m like, these are the more, the people that we need in this world.” And I’m the same way. I’m also self-deprecating. I have a lot of quirks. It’s not meant to be, like, this, super serious, “They need to fix themselves.”

 I actually find a lot of these funny, silly quirks that my mom has really endearing, and I’m like, “Don’t change that about yourself.” I think it’s great, and I do think that we’re all products of our generation. I think she recognizes that. 

Christa Innis: Absolutely, yeah. I know. I feel like every generation, is able to, like, reflect or, like, learn what maybe their challenges were or why they are that way.

‘Cause I feel like the generation- Yeah … even before that, like my grandma’s generation, my grandma always tells me, like, it was very common to be, like, smoking while you were pregnant, that’s just, a very generalization- Yeah

thing. But she’s like, It was all about, like, you wanted to look thin, all the time. it was just, more about, like, appearances and, so I feel like they probably- Yeah … grabbed that. Like, our parents’ generation probably grabbed some of that from them, and then we’re like, “We’re gonna change this a little bit.”

 We’re gonna learn more about our health-” 

Kristen Knutson: Totally … “and not do that stuff.” 

Christa Innis: 

Kristen Knutson: totally. And it’s true that in a lot of ways they didn’t know any better. we live in in the age of information almost, our detriment. it’s like information overload, and things that we do are wrong and right or whatever, and there’s all of these debates, whereas like I feel like back then, even when our boomer parents were raising us, it was just like there was one way of doing things- Mm-hmm

and that was the information that they were fed, whereas like now there’s like 12 different ways of doing one thing in parenting, or now you have like thousands of different ways. 

Christa Innis: I think it was simpler times. 

Yeah. No, I agree with the information overload, because yeah, they didn’t have- 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah

Christa Innis: internet to log on and be like, “Wait. Should I do it this way?” And then be fed with, you know- Yeah … so many different options. Before it was like a neighbor or their own mom or an aunt, to be like, “This is how you do it,” and that’s it, you know? 

Kristen Knutson: Exactly. Exactly. 

Christa Innis: So I feel 

Kristen Knutson: like- Yeah, that’s true. 

 they talked to their neighbors.

Christa Innis: yeah, exactly. And talking back about what you’re saying about people enjoying your content and not getting, offended by it. Because I feel like- Mm-hmm … there’s times where I, like, share a mother-in-law skit. And again, yeah, for the most part everyone likes it, but then you get those people that are like, “Oh my gosh, not all mother-in-laws are like this.”

I’m like, ” Yeah, I know that,” because I have a great mother-in-law. This, these are not after her. People send me in stories, and it’s their own experience. But, 

Kristen Knutson: not getting, offended by it and just being like, “There are some people like this. There are some people that act like that.” And finding the humor in it- Yeah

Christa Innis: is, I feel like, you said before recording, it’s very therapeutic 

Kristen Knutson: Exactly, yeah. I see it as, we’re making a movie, and so you don’t watch a movie and say, “Oh, I’m not like that. How dare you make a, movies like that?” Because it depicts a certain personality that’s not necessarily the exact, archetype that you’re dealing with, right?

Yeah. So that’s how I always see it. I’m like, sure, you can watch this and not relate to it, and that’s fine. You can just go ahead and move on. and you’re always gonna deal with that. I’ve seen the trend of, like, the what about me-ism, right? Where everyone’s like, if it doesn’t exactly fit what you wanna see, then people get mad about it.

Like, the bean soup theory- Yes … where, like, a person, put, a recipe up about bean soup, and someone’s like, “Well, what if I don’t like beans?” “What are you gonna make for me?” And it’s like, well, then just don’t make the recipe. You can just go ahead and move on. Not 

Christa Innis: for you. Yes. 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah, exactly. this doesn’t need to be for you, then.

Christa Innis: I know. That is, one of the things with social media where people think, “If it’s on my feed, I have to comment and tell them I don’t like it.” And it’s like- Yeah … maybe it’s not meant for you. That’s okay. 

Kristen Knutson: Exactly. Oh, my God. And I’m okay with it, too. It’s like, fine, I’m, open to criticism. open to your feedback.

Go ahead and leave it there. It’s engagement for me regardless, so go ahead and, drop it. I have my own, critiques, that I’m giving myself behind the scenes. Yeah. So I’ll take it or leave it depending on, the type, the tone of the comment. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. So did you have, experience in acting or, writing or comedy beforehand, or just this kind of, like, bring it all out- No

yeah? 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah. No experience in any of that. I followed, the traditional corporate route straight out of college. I got my degree in marketing but ended up in finance, so I had a career in finance, which made zero sense for me. but it was fun. but no, I really had no experience. I’m passionate about making content.

I was, like, always that kid in, middle school when we had our camcorders back then- 

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm … 

Kristen Knutson: making skit content with my friends. And, I remember asking You could buy, a software. Even we, those, massive computers, you could buy editing software. 

Christa Innis: Yes. 

Kristen Knutson: So I would edit our videos.

I would, like, make ’em slow-mo and try to make them funny. So I remember that’s always been a part of my personality, but I grew up in the Midwest, and so I didn’t really have access to, like, become a comedian or become an actress. So it just wasn’t really something I ever imagined doing, and I think, we live in the age of social media and being able to create our own content, so it’s been fun ’cause I’ve been able to find my voice and just find my passion by just, trial and error on my own.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I love that. Yeah, I know, and that’s, like, the- Yeah … positive side of social media where so many people are getting opportunities to share. I kind of think of it as, like, a talent show in a way. You’re, like, scrolling through, like, different people’s talents, and I think it’s really beautiful in that way ’cause it creates this community and creates this, excitement for different kinds of talents and, people kind of coming together. you really, unlocked something when you said, like, creating, skits when you were a kid. I don’t know, did you ever use, iMovie- Mm-hmm … as a kid? Like, the first, I remember when iMovie came out and I was like, ” This is amazing.” Like, you can do, movie magic, remember my dad showing me that stuff, and takes me back.

Kristen Knutson: Yes, I totally remember that, and then you could add, special effects. Yeah. I thought it was, like, the coolest thing I’d ever seen, and if you would look at it today, it was, ridiculous looking. 

Christa Innis: I know. I know. It’s so funny. It makes me think- Mm

like, I don’t know if you ever, like, when you’re filming, you, like, think about, looking back to, like, now, like, 10 years from now and being like, Oh my gosh, we used to hold our phones like…” You or whatever that looks like. what- Yeah … changes are gonna be in the next 10 years when it comes to, like, creating content or doing skit content and how it’s gonna evolve?

Kristen Knutson: Totally. I just think, even in, more recent memory, like, I have my phone right here. Like, how how weird it is or how weird it was to hold your phone and talk to it. Mm-hmm. even, like, 10 years ago where we were like, “Oh, how awkward.” we’re talking to nobody.

Where I feel like now this next generation is like this is, a person to a lot of people, where, like, talking to the phone is a really natural thing. it’s become, almost like a member of the family, which is, so sad and crazy to think about because- Yeah … we all wanna experience the ’90s and, be more present.

But yeah, I think technology it’s evolving constantly. Yeah. Right, right in front of us. 

Christa Innis: I know. I said before, I was like, “Oh, yeah, I’m super introverted.” And someone’s like, “How? you make content online.” I was like, “Well, when I make content, it’s me.” I’m, like, in a room- Yeah

by myself. I would never be out, in public doing it. not eventually holding my phone, but eventually doing something. 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah. 

Christa Innis: do you feel 

Kristen Knutson: similar? Like, on a stage or something. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like, do you feel similar? Um- Are you looking to take your career to the next level of, doing stand-up comedy or acting?

Do, have you ever thought about that? 

Kristen Knutson: I’ve thought about it, but not in a way of “Let’s start doing this tomorrow,” because the thought of it is, terrifying, especially stand-up comedy. That terrifies me. That’s, the hardest job in the world. I don’t think comedians get enough credit for that.

Crazy Moms and MIL Stories

Christa Innis: but it’s true. it’s a much different art, like, making something in your house is so much different than in front of an audience. Mm-hmm. So yeah, I don’t know. I think it’s a different type of art. I think it would be fun, but it’s just, it’s a different type of muscle that I think I would have to, practice,Oh, yeah, for sure. Okay, so I know- Yeah … you, reached out to your audience, ’cause I kinda wanna jump into those ’cause I feel like those will be fun to read. 

Kristen Knutson: Let’s do it. 

Christa Innis: You reached out to your audience and asked them if they had any crazy… Did you say, like, crazy mother-in-law stories or crazy stories around weddings?

Kristen Knutson: I said around weddings with emphasis on moms and mother-in-laws. 

Christa Innis: Okay.

Let’s hear some of those ones that your audience sent you 

Kristen Knutson: Okay. Maybe I’ll start with, like, one of the shorter ones. I got a lot of, crazy gift stories. So like wedding gifts that they received from either an in-law or their own mom.

Like endless amounts- Oh my God … of content there. But this one I thought was particularly crazy. So it’s, ” As a wedding gift from my mother-in-law and her friends, I called it the baby-making kit. Inside the box was an all-time greatest love album, a candle, an ovulation test kit, and pregnancy tests. Yes, all wrapped up and given to us at our wedding.”

Christa Innis: Oh, an ovulation kit is wild. 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah, that’s next level. A candle. And I like how they, like, tried to, set the vibes, too- … with, like, a love album and a candle. it’s- 

Christa Innis: They’re like, “Here, this is how we 

Kristen Knutson: made 

Christa Innis: your husband.” That’s- “

Kristen Knutson: This is how.” Yeah. And it’s…I didn’t catch this when I first read it.

From mother-in-law and her friends. So she went in with her friends to get that for them? That makes it almost, creepier. Yeah. It wasn’t just, her own gift. 

Christa Innis: So they were like… What can we do so you can have grand babies faster? Let’s set the tone.” it’s so icky in general.

Uh-huh. Like, when you go to a wedding or, bridal shower and you’re like, “When are you gonna have kids?” Yeah. You gonna hop o- like, get ’em, quickly?” It’s, like- Right … such, a archaic thought to me now. I don’t know. 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah. It’s just way TMI. Because, there’s only one way to make a baby, right?

Or, like, there’s one picture that you have in your head, right? Right. About when you, like, traditionally make a baby. And, like, having that type of conversation with my in-laws, shoot me. it’s the last thing I wanna talk about with my mo- mother-in-law. this is just, take it to next level, about, like, getting you ready to have a child.

 

it’s 

next level. And by the way, like, not everybody wants kids or wants them the day you get married, you know? Yeah. 

Christa Innis: I know, like, let them enjoy their wedding day at least. I know, I remember- Right … I was at a shower years ago, and you know, the traditional thing where it’s like if you break a ribbon, that’s how many kids you’re gonna have.

Have you heard that? 

Kristen Knutson: Oh, I’ve never heard that. 

Christa Innis: I don’t know if that’s- No … like, where that came from. But that was always, like, a thing. Like, my family was always like, “Oh, it’s a… If you break a ribbon, that’s how many kids you’re gonna have.” And I remember my sister at her wedding, who now, ironically now has three kids, like, at that point, she was like, “I don’t know if I want kids.”

she was, like, so carefully trying to, like, not break ribbons. But we were at this other shower years ago. And the parents were, like, geeking every time a ribbo- “Oh, they’re gonna have another one.” I was like, “Guys, can you just open these things?” Oh, 

Kristen Knutson: that is… Wait, and what do you mean by breaking a ribbon?

Like, I mean, out of the bow? 

Christa Innis: So basically like- Is 

Kristen Knutson: that what they mean? 

Christa Innis: No, like if you open it like the normal way, like untie it or whatever, it’s fine. Yeah If you’re like, pop it, if you’re unwrapping it and the ribbon like pops or like breaks where like it shouldn’t, that meansyou’re gonna have a baby

Kristen Knutson: or something. I’m, I’m so glad that nobody in my family knows what that is, and that we weren’t tracking that my shower. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. I know. 

Kristen Knutson: It’s so funny. So it’s 

Christa Innis: behind us now, so. And it’s weird too, because it’s at the bridal shower too, where it’s like you’re like trying to celebrate the wedding and all that, but they’re just like…

 I don’t know. It probably started in like the ’50s or something, where it was like a baby, like get the babies going. 

Kristen Knutson: That’s true. That’s true, and it’s like I would wanna talk to someone who, got married in the ’50s or ’60s, because I do feel like it was such a different age where it was like, “You need to have five to six kids, and in order to do that, you need to start having babies immediately.”

Whereas, like, when I got married, I never really felt the pressure necessarily. I was like, “Okay, we’re gonna get married, and we’re gonna have, a couple years, and then start thinking about having kids.” Like, I just didn’t feel that rush, but I do think that, decades ago they were like, “Okay, let’s start popping them out tomorrow-” Yes

and then see just, how many kids that we can have. 

Christa Innis: yeah, I totally agree. Which 

Kristen Knutson: is, yeah. 

Christa Innis: I never felt pressure either and, but I feel like previous generations it was, like, expected of women. Yeah … like, you check a list, right? You find a guy, you get married, you have a baby, and if you weren’t doing that, there was something wrong with you or something, you know?

‘ Cause I remember my mom saying- Mm-hmm … ’cause my mom technically got married late and had kids late, and late was 26. My mom got married at 26, but that was considered late when she got married, and she was like, “I had cousins that called me-” Same … a spinster because I wasn’t married yet.” And she was like, “Yeah-” Are you kidding me?

so I just had to, like, brush it off. Yeah. she had her first kid at, like, 29, and that was, considered old, you know? And so I never felt pressure ’cause my mom never put the pressure on me, but a lot of my friends, like- 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah … 

Christa Innis: they would be like, “Oh, my mom had me already at this age.

I need to get going.” I’m like, “No you don’t. calm down. It’s okay.” 

Kristen Knutson: For sure. 

Christa Innis: And- 

Kristen Knutson: Exactly. I think it’s just like there’s no right or wrong age to do it, right? until you get to a certain age where, like, it’s like there’s, health issues, but everyone finds the right time for them, and I think that’s, just…

And society has become a lot more accepting of, people just trying to navigate things on their own timeline. I personally don’t think I was mature enough in my 20s. I truly feel like I was, like, too selfish. and I’m sure, once you have a baby, like, your brain actually does rewire itself, so I’m sure I could have surprised myself and been a really great mom in my 20s.

But I just think through, like, the type of person that I was then versus the type of person that I am today, and I’m like, ” I’m glad I had my babies starting in my 30s, in my early 30s.” I feel like that was the perfect time for me.

Christa Innis: Yeah, 100% I agree, too. I look at my 20s and I’m like, ” I was still a child, like a baby.”

Like,I can’t. I’m sure, yeah, you figure- No, 

Kristen Knutson: I was so immature … 

Christa Innis: yeah. I’m sure you figure it out- … but I’m just like, this was a good time for me. 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah, yeah, exactly. 

Christa Innis: Okay, what’s another one someone sent you? 

Kristen Knutson: All right, let me see. should I do the longer one? It’s a little- 

Christa Innis: Sure

Kristen Knutson: chatty, but I’ll do it. It’s two paragraphs, so… wedding story. My mom yelled at me in the middle of my reception because she didn’t get a moment with me after I had asked her if she wanted to do a reading during the ceremony or sing a duet with me, we’re both singers, during the reception, and she refused both.

She was apparently feeling not included when I did everything possible to include her. She didn’t want to be included and wanted to hold it against me instead. And then she didn’t want to drive home after, or drive home alone in the dark, early in the dancing mind you, but we had a shuttle. She just didn’t wanna take it, so she tried to get my brother to go with her.

He told her he wanted to stay at his sister’s reception. Oh, 

Christa Innis: my. she could not have been happy no matter what they did is what I’m getting. 

Kristen Knutson: Yes, that’s exactly it. It was like victim mode. I think she like, there’s something about this woman who wanted to be a victim somehow, some way, and she was gonna find a way- 

Christa Innis: Yes

Kristen Knutson: to do it, ’cause this woman clearly was inviting her mom to be included. Like, sing a duet with her. Yeah. She couldn’t have been more involved by doing it. Like, what a nice- Like- … special thing. And they both are singers. Somebody asked you to sing at her- They’re the best. Like, I didn’t ask my mom to do that.

 that’s so special. And so then she says no, and then is like, “I’m not being included.” 

Christa Innis: It’s 

Kristen Knutson: 

Christa Innis: like, what do you 

Kristen Knutson: want? Like, what else she- You wanna walk down her red carpet? … she’s included on? Yeah. Right? did she wanna be the bride? it almost feels like she wanted to be as special as the bride that day or something.

I don’t know. It, something seems a little off. 

Christa Innis: I’ve weirdly heard- Yeah … a lot of stories where the mom expects to be walking down the aisle with the bride. I know, like, you can do that now where you walk with both parents. I see that a lot of times. I know, like, in our wedding, my husband walked down with both parents.

But, 

Kristen Knutson: Mm-hmm … 

Christa Innis: I’ve seen ones where, like, the mom expects it, and then when the bride’s like, “No, I’m just gonna walk down with Dad,” they get, offended. They’re like, “Oh, well, I was planning on walking down with you.” And then they get, like, a weird way. I’ve read a couple, a few stories like that now where I’m just like, “That’s so interesting.”

 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah … ‘

Christa Innis: cause that, wasn’t the norm, so I don’t know if, they saw one bride do it, and they’re like, “Oh, they have to include me now to walk down,” or I don’t know. It’s very odd. 

Kristen Knutson: Right. And that’s where this, the whole thing of, tradition gets a little See both sides there in a way where it’s like, we did it really traditional.

actually most weddings I’ve ever been to where it’s like the bride will walk down the aisle with her dad. and that’s what I did. But I’m like, why is that the tradition? I guess it’s like the dad giving them- their daughter- Daughter away … away. Yeah. I guess it’s like special and sweet.

It’s such a weird thing to- But then again, yeah, it’s kinda weird, is it not? Like, it kinda is. Like, why

can’t my mom be included on that? Yeah. But then again, I don’t know. I feel like default is like you have your dad walk you down the aisle. Yeah. It’s ultimately, like it’s up to the bride, right? If the bride says, “You’re not, you shouldn’t give me away,” like she gets to decide- Yeah … not the parents. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. I know.

I think I de- ba-ted having both my parents, and then like with timing I think brother just walked my mom down the aisle, so she was like a part of like walking down, and then with the grandkids up front it was just kinda worked out better that way. it’s weird, like when you look into like- That’s really 

Kristen Knutson: sweet

Christa Innis: yeah, it’s like when you look into like the history of why they did it, it was the father like not selling, maybe it was selling the bride, I don’t know. But like giving the bride to like, his person of choosing and ba- Yeah … basically like one man to the next, which I think is kinda weird if you like think about it.

Kristen Knutson: Right. yeah, that’s why I’m like, okay, I’m not opposed to breaking those traditions. 

 I’m like, you know what? Like Iit’s not abnormal for somebody to wanna walk, to have their mom join them, or just have their mom do it, just have their dad do it, or have somebody else that’s special, or just walk alone.

Ultimately it really, it’s like up to the bride in my opinion. Yeah. the part that’s not okay in my opinion is for the mom to be like, “You better walk me down the aisle as a part of- Yeah … your wedding day,” ’cause it’s not her decision to make- Yeah … unfortunately. And 

Christa Innis: the thing is too, like in this particular case saying like, “Oh, I wasn’t included enough,” you’re the bride’s mother.

Yeah. Everyone knows who you are. You’re gonna wear a beautiful dress, and it’s gonna be special. Like you don’t need a big spotlight on you for people to recognize, like, “Oh, she’s here. It’s her day.” 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. And I feel like, we said, like she’s just trying to find something to complain about or something to make, the bride feel bad about on her day, and it’s like, no, it’s not gonna work.

Kristen Knutson: Yes, and then her wanting to leave early, they got them a shuttle, so they were nothing but accommodating. they clearly thought ahead, and then she just didn’t wanna do it, and was like, ” Nope, I’m leaving. Brother has to go with me” I think she was entering that day in victim mode.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. 

Kristen Knutson: It appears. 

based on what I’m reading. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s like something happened early on, like someone said something, and she’s like, “That’s it. I’m gonna hold onto this and it’s gonna go my way” or- 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah, and I, it’s, you feel for the bride, ’cause then it’s like you know she was tiptoeing around her feelings- Mm-hmm

and probably feeling guilty the next day when it really wasn’t her responsibility. ultimately, like, your parents are responsible for their own feelings and their own day, so- Yeah … I feel for the bride. 

Christa Innis: No, totally. Okay, let’s do a little, before we get to this week’s story submission from- 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah

Red Light, Yellow Light, or Green Light?

Christa Innis: someone, okay, I’m gonna do, it’s called Red Light, Yellow Light, or Green Light. I’m gonna read something- Okay … and then you tell me, red light is like awful, bad, green light is good, and then yellow is maybe in the middle. Okay. 

Kristen Knutson: Okay. 

Christa Innis: using your real-life family dynamics as inspiration for your characters.

Kristen Knutson: green light, obviously. 

Christa Innis: I think inspo is fine, yeah. 

Kristen Knutson: I think I could like- Peter, between yellow and green on that. I think if you are, roasting your family on the internet and just, tearing them apart, that’s not appropriate. But if it’s in a playful, like, really sweet way, like my content, obviously nothing but nice- 

Christa Innis: Yeah

Kristen Knutson: then I’d say, green light. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. And your mom’s involved and knows about it too. It’s not like you’re, like, secretly, bashing her on the internet or something. I did a skit one time, I can’t remember which one, but it was based on one that someone sent me. So it had nothing to do with, me or my family.

But I think when, like- 

Kristen Knutson: Mm … 

Christa Innis: some people see it, like a different generation, they see it, they assume, I’m airing out my dirty laundry. And Yeah … this, woman left this super long comment and was like, ” How dare you bash your husband’s family like this and air your dirty laundry? No wonder, this is happening to you.”

And, going off. And, everyone was like, “This is a skit. This is not based on her family.” Right. It’s like, “Hey, yeah, this has nothing to do with me.” Right, again, yeah. But I feel like if people just see it, and they, assume the worst or something. 

Kristen Knutson: Totally. Yes. I have my drama series too. 

I’m writing a movie, right? Like, none… I don’t know these people. These are people that I’ve created inside my head, don’t worry about my in-laws. They’re great. They’re good. That’s just what I say. It’s just like, “I’m writing a movie, so this is fictional.” Of course, it’s, loosely based on some real experiences of other people, 

Christa Innis: Yes

Kristen Knutson: yeah. 

Christa Innis: Yeah, of course. I feel like everything’s a little bit of inspiration. You grab stuff from all kinds of things, and that’s- Yeah … how you get inspired. 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah, exactly. 

Christa Innis: Let’s see. comparing your parenting to what you grew up with

Kristen Knutson: hmm. I’d say like yellow light Yeah Because there’s some things that are so dated and probably not appropriate. And then there’s other things, we keep saying, “90s summer, 90s summer,” because I felt like my upbringing was so great in so many ways because we were unplugged and no TV. So there’s so many different things that I, hope to bring into my style of parenting that my, mom did, but I’m sure there’s a couple.

I mean, it’s not all like rainbows and butterflies. There’s some things in there that are borderline unsafe for kids. Right So I’d say red or yellow. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. There’s a lot… I was just telling some moms that, like some of my mom friends, and we were talking about like the survivor’s bias of like their moms being like, “Well, you guys didn’t use a car seat after one years old.”

And they’re like, “Yeah. we’ve learned a lot since then.” Like, “Well, you guys were fine.” Yeah. “Well, yeah, we survived.” just because we survived doesn’t mean we shouldn’t keep our kids- Yeah … in a car seat till they’re four, five, si- you know? we’ve learned a lot. 

Kristen Knutson: Exactly. Yeah. Or like, safe infant sleep has evolved so much.

I’ve seen so many pictures of me in a crib, and it’s like bumpers and 30 stuffed animals and 100 blankets piled up on top of me. And I’m like,a nine-pound infant just like sleeping. And I survived that, thankfully. 

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Okay, last one. let’s see. Calling out toxic family behavior patterns, publicly or subtly through content 

Kristen Knutson: like, so toxic behavior patterns that you’re actually dealing with in real life?

Christa Innis: No, I would say just, in general, behaviors- 

Kristen Knutson: Oh … 

Christa Innis: like toxic families 

Kristen Knutson: Green light to that,and we kinda talked about this before westarted recording, but I think it’s, good for people to see that. I think sometimes you’re in it, and you don’t know because you’re in it, or you grew up a certain way with a certain parent, and you’re sort of raised to, not recognize toxic behaviors.

So I think it’s totally fair game to display that in content or skip content because if anything, it’s just a tool for people to recognize, what they, things that are problematic, and maybe it’s a way to give them the tools that they need to get out of it or have really structured conversations with the people that need to hear it.

Christa Innis: Totally. Yeah. I think, like you said, it’s so therapeutic to be able to, like, see something online, being like, “Wow, I’m not alone in this,” or Wow, I dealt with that too.” Yeah. “I’m not crazy.” And I’ve heard so many people that send me in stories that are like, “Even if you don’t use this story, it was so therapeutic for me to type out and, understand my feelings.”

 so yeah- Yes … I feel like it allows people to see, like, “Oh, wait, that wasn’t okay the way they treated me,” you know, vice versa.

Kristen Knutson: Totally. a lot of people, they don’t even see it or know that it’s happening, and then all of a sudden they see it, and it’s looking at a mirror, and they’re like, “Oh, I notice patterns,” or, “I’m seeing these little traits that are, yeah, that’s actually not fair to me.

Maybe I should speak up for myself or say something or start recognizing those patterns.” So I think it’s good. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. All right. Let’s get into this week’s story submission. so- All right. I’m ready … this was sent to me, and let’s, see what we got here. Okay. here we go.

Engagement Session Crash 

 ” I’m a wedding photographer, and do I have a s- crazy story for you. 

it all started during this couple’s engagement session at a local park. Everything was going great. We were getting beautiful shots and having a fun, easy time until I noticed someone lingering in the background behind me. I turned around to see what was going on, and the bride just rolled her eyes and said, ‘Oh, that’s my mom.'” 

Gosh. I’m already, like, picturing this woman, like, behind a tree. Oh, no. I’m 

Kristen Knutson: sorry. is she hiding? Like, what do you- If anything, like, just, like, be there, you know? I 

Christa Innis: know, like, why is she, like- 

Kristen Knutson: Oh … 

Christa Innis: 15 feet behind? her mom had literally crashed their engagement session, so she wasn’t invited. Not only that, but she immediately started criticizing the bride.

At one point, she told her word for word to pick her chin up because she looks fat. I would be like- Mm … “Can you leave please?” Oh my gosh. 

Kristen Knutson: Mm-hmm. “

Christa Innis: I was honestly shocked. The poor bride had a big scarf on and kept trying to use it to cover her neck and chin after that.” 

Kristen Knutson: Mm. “

Christa Innis: Eventually, I had to step in and politely tell her mom that we needed some space so we could actually focus on taking their photos.”

Fast-forward to the wedding day. I arrived at the venue and went to start photographing the bride getting ready. We had a very detailed timeline planned out, including the first look before the ceremony, but her mom kept interrupting. She made the bride change her lipstick at least three different times, which ended up setting us back an hour.

Okay, that’s- 

Kristen Knutson: Mm-hmm … 

Christa Innis: wild behavior. this makes me think that she has, tried controlling her daughter so many times over the years. Because if the bride just was like, “Okay, yeah, I’m gonna change it,” then she’s so, you know- 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah … 

Christa Innis: she’s like, “Oh, well, I can tell her what to do and she’s gonna just follow my lead.”

Kristen Knutson: yeah. It’s almost like she’s trained to just say yes and just do it, because- that tells me she’s probably been dealing with that her whole life, which is, that’s sad. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Kristen Knutson: Makes me sad. 

Christa Innis: I know. ‘Cause I feel like if someone told me to change my lip, I’d be like, “Yeah, okay.” Like- 

Kristen Knutson: No, on my wedding day I was so mean.

I’d be like, ” No. Like, this is literally perfect.” Yeah. everything I picked is perfect. 

Christa Innis: Yes. 

Kristen Knutson: No, that makes me so sad. And then the chin thing with the scarf, like, that’s horrifying. That makes me, like, just sad because I see content all the time where it’s like, my first bully was my mom.

Mm-hmm. And that’s, like, tells me that she was probably, just saying those things and then that becomes the voice in your head, So it’s not just her wedding pictures and her wedding day, but she’s probably been doing that to her whole life. 

Christa Innis: Yeah, and it makes me wonder, like, think about, like, they’re trying on the the wedding dress, ’cause I’ve heard stories of that too, where they make comments- Mm-hmm

 wearing the wedding dress and making comments about their body and it’s like, can you just let- her enjoy this moment. 

Kristen Knutson: Yes, and then it’s making her focus more on her appearance when she shouldn’t be focused on that. I mean, of course- Yeah … you wanna look beautiful feel beautiful, and that’s all that matters on your wedding day.

So I’m sure it just, like, she gets in her head, and then you can’t even enjoy the day. That’s, ugh.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I 

Kristen Knutson: don’t like that. 

Christa Innis: No. it says, “We finally managed to squeeze in the first look, but there was no time left for portraits before the ceremony. Side note, completely unrelated to the mom, but just adds how insane the day was, the best man literally passed out right before handing the rings to the officiant.

The other groomsmen dragged him off through the trees, and the ceremony just kept going.” I just saw a video- I don’t know, on maybe TikTok or something, and the best man passed out, … I think Madison Humphrey- … mainly did it, and I was like, “This can’t be real.” Oh, that would be- And it literally happened.

 the best man passed out, and they just, tried to carry him up, and they were holding him, and he was, like, swaying. obviously, like, drunk out of his mind. I’m just like- 

Kristen Knutson: Oh, that’s so bad. I guess if he was drunk out of his mind, so it was one of those things where, like, self-inflicted, as the best man, wouldn’t you want them to keep going?

You know, where I’m like, “Just don’t look at me,” even though it’s, like, the only thing that people- Yeah … are looking at. It’s so humiliating, but in a way I’m like, “You know what?” Yeah. “I probably would want them just to keep going.” 

Christa Innis: Yes. Oh, yeah. 

Kristen Knutson: But The thing I’m worried about is, a health concern.

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Kristen Knutson: You know, where they’re, like, dragging their, limp body through the trees. Like, I’m a little worried about- Just 

Christa Innis: hide him through 

Kristen Knutson: the bushes … the guy. Yeah, it’s like that’s what I’m worried about. does he need some medical attention? 

Christa Innis: Right, ’cause this doesn’t say, what the reason is for him passing out.

Like, was he drunk? Was it really hot? Yeah. Did he not drink any water that day? Maybe we should be 

Kristen Knutson: a little more 

Christa Innis: concerned. 

Kristen Knutson: Right. That’s what I’m worried about. Like, I want everybody to be, like, leaving the wedding ceremony alive, that’s like my number-one goal above and beyond, like, the perfect ceremony.

So that’s the number-one thing. If it is like, oh, he’s just drunk, then it is… it’s like, okay, go, just go, like, sit down in the corner and, like- Yeah … drink some water, and we’re gonna keep this going. 

Christa Innis: Yes, and think about what you did. 

Kristen Knutson: yeah. And you better, be thinking about it, and make it up to us at some point.

Christa Innis: Yes. Just thinking about the groomsmen dragging him through the trees, I’m just like, “Oh my God.” Yeah, 

Kristen Knutson: that’s… I’m imagining this, limp body, getting, dragged through, and everyone just, like, ignores it. That’s- I’m a little concerned for the guy. Yeah. Hopefully he was okay. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. I’m hoping if they did that, they just know, like, “Oh, it’s just Josh again.

He just passes out. Like, he’s good.” Yeah. 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah. God. Like, that’s just a thing he does.

Christa Innis: Whatever. It’s fine 

First Hijack and Bully Was Mom 

He’s just kind of quirky. after the ceremony, we were supposed to move quickly through family photos so we could focus on getting the portraits of just the bride and groom since we had missed it earlier.

The bride had made a very clear list for family photos, and I was following it, but her mom kept jumping in, adding more and more group combinations. Then she started pulling her own friends into the photos without the bride and groom even being in them. Oh, my gosh. See, that’s where also like- Oh, no … I know it’s not in everyone’s budget, but, like, having a planner or a coordinator or someone there that can, direct things is so helpful- Yeah

because, to have some, like, a mom come in and being like, ” I’m the boss now. You go there, you go there,” I would just be, like, losing my mind. 

Kristen Knutson: That’s so bad. That’s so bad. you only get so many photos, and I don’t know, I just feel like the photo part is such a drag.

So just to, like, have her take it over and get all these photos of people she probably didn’t even know, and she’s probably paying for it. I mean- Yeah … maybe the mom was paying for it. I guess that’s, like, a detail we don’t know, but 

Christa Innis: Yeah … 

Kristen Knutson: that’s a disaster. 

Christa Innis: That’s pretty bad.

Well, ’cause you know, too, maybe I’m making assumptions, but based on, like, a lot of the stories that I read- Yeah … and since this is coming from the photographers, we’re not getting it, from the bride where I would maybe get more details. You know- Mm-hmm … this is the kind of mom that controlled the wedding guest list, is like, “Oh, we’re inviting these 50 people.”

Yeah. ” You haven’t seen them since you were a baby, but they’re my friends,”I feel like she probably- Totally had some… And the fact, again, that the,… bride so quickly changed her lipstick, not once, not twice, but three times. Mm-hmm. The mom’s definitely- Yeah … had some push and pull in this wedding.

She probably picked the venue- Totally … you know, made things her way. 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah, I think that’s a fair assumption just based on everything else we’ve heard about this mom. 

Christa Innis: Yes. 

Kristen Knutson: I wouldn’t put it past her. 

Christa Innis: No. 

Kristen Knutson: You know what’s interesting is, on my wedding day, my mom, this isn’t, an evil thing, it was just her being her chaotic self.

She, loves her camera. She has this, really nice camera. She doesn’t totally know how to use it all the time, and she brought it to my wedding. And, I have the photographer taking photos of us, and my mom would come in and, try to snap photos too. So then my photographer would have to, like, wait for her to, like, get her photo.

 so there was a moment in there that I kept reliving over and over again where I just had to, tell her pretty, firmly, “You gotta stop with the camera.” The camera has to go away.” I’m like, “I’m paying so much money for a professional to do this. it’s fine for us to get, like, iPhone photo.”

 I’m totally cool with, like, photos.

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Kristen Knutson: But I’m like, “The, big professional camera just, isn’t it for today.” 

Christa Innis: Yeah, like, you’re off the clock today. Let’s let the professionals- Yes … do their job. Yes. 

Kristen Knutson: Yes. I wanted her to be in them, and she kept taking her camera out, and she just, like, doesn’t know it.

She was, like, trying to, like, figure out the settings. She’s, like, learning how to use it- … on the spot. And I’m like, “I want you to be in these photos. put the camera down. I want you to be in these photos. I don’t want your camera, anywhere near this day. Like, you can take it out any other time but today.”

Christa Innis: That’s so funny. 

Kristen Knutson: Oh. It makes 

Christa Innis: me think of, like- 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah … 

Christa Innis: when they’re like, no photos during the ceremony, and you always see, like, an Uncle Bob or something, standing there with his iPad. Yeah. And it’s like, “Uncle Bob”- The 

Kristen Knutson: iPad, yeah … “

Christa Innis: we got a photographer.” 

Kristen Knutson: you always see the down the, you know, like, they try to get, the aisle ones with, the audience or whatever, and, you see, the big iPad in the way or, and, like, right to the left covering somebody, like, one of, the bridesmaids or something, and you’re like, “Oh, no.”

Christa Innis: No, I saw- 

Kristen Knutson: Uncle Bob is gonna be in trouble. 

Christa Innis: I saw one where it was literally covering the bride. The bride and, Oh … the groom were walking back down, it was planned, and there was literally, someone in the front standing with their iPad, it was the photographer saying, “This is why we say, no phones, no iPads.”

Yeah. and it’s so funny- Yeah … ’cause, you’ll hear a lot of times they talk about, older generations will be like, “Oh, the millennials and Gen Z, they’re always on their phones,” but then a lot of times at those kind of events, 

Kristen Knutson: Mm-hmm … 

Christa Innis: again, it’s a lot of generalization, so apologies to people listening- Yeah

if you’re offended. But, a lot of times at those events then you see, older people are the ones with their phones and iPads, and it’s like, “Put them away.” 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah. “

Christa Innis: Okay, we got a photographer.” 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah, or in my mom’s,case with her giant, I don’t even know what it is, like a Canon or something, that she doesn’t know how to use yet, that she’s trying to snap a couple.

But, I’m like, “Maybe, like, one or two, go ahead.” But it was, like, got to a point where she would, like, my photographer would have to pause for her to get her photo, and I’m like, “What are we doing?” Like, we’ve gotta, put it away, ‘ we just don’t have the time to, like, get you trained into how to use your camera on a day where I want you in the photos.

… we’re not doing this. That’s 

Christa Innis: so funny. 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah. No. 

Christa Innis: Okay, so she says, ” At that point, I had to step in again and explain we were on a timeline and had to stick to, this list. I told her we needed to move forward so we could get photos of the actual couple. She stormed off in a huff.”

She’s probably never been told no before. Yeah. ” Then came the reception.” But honestly, 

Kristen Knutson: thank God. 

Christa Innis: Yes. I know.

 especially, I feel like wedding professionals that work a lot of weddings have to have a strong backbone to say no to people. Yeah. Like, my photographer was really good at, like,getting people together and be like, “Nope, it’s time for this.

Okay, we need to get mom,” or, “We need to get, you know, whoever over here.” ‘ Cause they probably deal- It’s true … with a lot of unhinged people, or people that are just kinda like- That 

Kristen Knutson: is true … 

Christa Innis: not listening. 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah, that’s a good point. it’s a good personality type to be, like, super, like, keep it, things in, be in charge, don’t be afraid of people’s feelings.

Just, keep it moving forward. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. I was saying, like, I’m typically a pretty introverted person, but when I’m hired for, like, day of coordinator, which I don’t do too much anymore, but here and there- Yeah … you give me a schedule, I will make sure… I’m like, you need to be here. Okay, put the water down.

Get in this photo.” ‘Cause I’ve had, like, younger s- like- Yeah … siblings that’ll be like, “I don’t wanna be in this photo.” Not, I’m not talking kids. I’m talking, like- Yeah … adults that are, like, complaining. Like, “I don’t wanna be in this photo.” I’m like, ” Put your food down.” 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah. “

Christa Innis: Get in the photo. We only got 10 more minutes.”

Yeah. “And then you gotta put your dress…” You know, whatever. Yeah. Or people that change out of their dress- And every minute counts … before. Yeah. 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah, every minute counts. It’s a crazy, crazy day. 

Christa Innis: Yes. 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah. it’s a crazy job. I am, impressed because I feel like I would be immediately, like, everyone would be behind schedule.

Yes. Be like in the corner, like, talking to the guests. Yeah. 

Reception: Deeper in the Iceberg

Christa Innis: Right. she said, “Then came the reception, which was easily the most unhinged part of the day. There was only one speech scheduled, and it was from the mom.” Oh, no. ” That alone should have been a red flag. She got up with a manila folder- Oh, no … and a gift bag.

Immediately started crying- no … and launched into a story about how, as a child, the bride always wanted a backpack from some ’90s pop group. She then handed the, the gift bag to the bride. The bride pulled out a child-sized backpack.” What? 

Kristen Knutson: Oh, no. Then the mom- It keeps, keeps getting worse. 

Christa Innis: I’m just picturing this.

Like, she’s like, “This is my grand moment to make my speech.” 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah. “

Christa Innis: Then the mom opened the folder and started passing around childhood photos of the bride to the entire room, including pictures of her in the bathtub.” 

Kristen Knutson: Oh, no. 

Christa Innis: Why? 

Kristen Knutson: Like- I feel bad for this bride … 

Christa Innis: I need to know how many people were here, and, like, how she’s walking around. Like, take one and pass it, you know? Like… 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah. it’s like show and tell. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Kristen Knutson: Like, oh, this is so bad. That would be weird. Okay. Maybe 

Christa Innis: not.

Kristen Knutson: can we pause on the backpack for a second?

Because, what, did she wait, like, 20… she said no for how many years? And she’s like, “I’m gonna say no to the only thing you want in your entire childhood and give it to you when you’re, like, 25 or 30 years old?” 

Christa Innis: When you no longer care about 

Kristen Knutson: the backpack. Like, I don’t know, I would just be, like, offended.

I would be. Yeah, I would just be offended. I’m like, “So you’re saying you want to say no? You held this over my head for 25 years?”

Christa Innis: yeah … 

Kristen Knutson: you could have given it to me, could, when I could have actually used it. 

Christa Innis: Right. 

Kristen Knutson: You know? I don’t know. Or maybe I’m, like, not catching. what was the point she was trying to make with the backpack?

Christa Innis: that part seems very odd to me, ’cause I’m like- 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah … 

Christa Innis: did he finally think, her wedding night was the moment to give it to her? ‘ Cause I’m also like- Yeah … the whole, like, gift thing, if you wanna make a gift sincerely about the person, you don’t need an audience, right? So I feel like if she actually- Yeah

was, like, sentimental of, like, something you wanted when you were a kid, and the night before the wedding or, like, they went out to dinner the week of, I feel like that would be sweet. But the fact that she did it- Yeah … she was like, “Here’s this ’90s backpack. Open it up,” that seems weird to me.

She wanted this whole audience. 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah. 

Christa Innis: I don’t know. That’s weird. 

Kristen Knutson: Very strange. No, I agree with that. Gifts should just be… sentimental gifts, that’s a, one-on-one situation. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Kristen Knutson: That didn’t need to be a part of the speech. Yeah, that’s interesting. Okay. 

Christa Innis: so she goes, “I went home thinking, what did I just witness?

But figured at least it was over. Nope. After I delivered the gallery, the mom called me furious. She complained that there were only 127 photos of her and the bride.” 

Kristen Knutson: I could throw up. 

Christa Innis: 127? What? With the bride and the mom. That is a lot. I don’t even think I. Oh my God, what are you even doing for money?

No, seriously.

Kristen Knutson: What? That’s so many photos 

Christa Innis: What is she gonna do with all those? give them out 

Kristen Knutson: at her- Yeah, that is… Or maybe she was just, so mean that she, like, didn’t like any of them, she seems to be very picky- 

Christa Innis: Critical … 

Kristen Knutson: mother, so maybe she, didn’t like… Yeah, critical. So she maybe didn’t like the angle or, they just weren’t good enough for her.

Christa Innis: Yeah. It 

Kristen Knutson: seems like nothing’s good enough for this woman. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my- 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah, that is, ugh … 

Christa Innis: wild behavior. 

Kristen Knutson: Ugh, that would be a hard customer. 

Christa Innis: Yes. I know, ’cause that’s the thing, too. It’s like she probably wasn’t even hired by… Maybe she was hired by the mom, I don’t know. But to, like- Mm … mom come in and sabotage all these things and, try to make it her own.

 so she ends- Mm … with saying, “To be clear, I knew she would want a lot of photos, so I’d already gone out of my way to take plenty. But apparently a quarter of the entire gallery wasn’t enough. I finally had to tell her very directly that she was not my client, and that she needed to take it up with her daughter.

Hands down one of the most chaotic weddings I’ve ever worked.” 

Kristen Knutson: That’s really bad. I feel bad for the daughter. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. I feel like that 

Kristen Knutson: would be so- That’s really bad. And, like, the daughter would be… Like, I would be, as the daughter, horrified even knowing that my mom reached out to the photographer to, critique her.

Yeah. That within itself is, like, so horrifying- 

Christa Innis: Yeah … 

Kristen Knutson: to me.

Christa Innis: And it makes me think that 

Kristen Knutson: was- Ugh … not the 

Christa Innis: only vendor the mom reached out to. You know she had other 

Kristen Knutson: companies. 

Christa Innis: Yeah 

Kristen Knutson: Oh. And I feel like that’d be so- I’m just, I’m just thinking about all the admin that the daughter has to deal with. This is a lifetime- 

Christa Innis: Mm

Kristen Knutson: of, tiptoeing, listening to all of her complaints. That is just so draining on somebody, and this kids aren’t even involved at this point. Yeah. I feel like once kids get involved, then it’s 10X as bad as it was. I, yeah, I just feel bad for her. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. For the bride. 

I feel like that would be so hard as the wedding vendor to, like, have a client you’re working with, and then having a parent come in and be like, “No, you need to do it this way.

Ooh … Do it this way.” And you’re like, “Well, you’re not my client. Sorry.” 

Kristen Knutson: Totally … 

Christa Innis: that’d 

Kristen Knutson: be- Yeah. I’m sure they see it enough, like what she said was a perfect thing to say, which is like, “You’re not the client. Your daughter is my client. I listened to everything she needed, so take it up with her.

Like, Too many cooks in the kitchen- Yeah … 

Christa Innis: at this point.” Yeah. You have to just, cut it. ‘ Cause I think the mom’s been used to, like we saw in the beginning, she’s been used to, like, being catered around. if things are not, 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah … 

Christa Innis: the way, she can’t control a certain way, like, she’s gonna make it go this way, and the daughter’s gonna bend backwards for her.

And so I think the fact that the photographer- Mm-hmm … was like, “No. I can’t do anything else. You’re not my client.” Also, what does she want her to do, go back in time or, like, give her a refund? She’s like, no, she did her job. It’s not in the contract- Yeah … to get 500 photos of the mom and the bride.

It’s not your day. 

Kristen Knutson: Right. Right. 

Christa Innis: Wild. 

Kristen Knutson: That is wild. Yeah. 

Christa Innis: Oh, 

Kristen Knutson: my. Ugh. I wonder if she’s an only child or if she had siblings, or, maybe an only daughter. It feels like it’s, only daughter or only child. 

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. 

Kristen Knutson: Maybe. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. ‘

Kristen Knutson: Cause that woman’s got a lot of energy for one day. 

Christa Innis: Yes … 

Kristen Knutson: I don’t know.

Feels like there’s a lot of build-up to that. 

Christa Innis: Yes. Oh, man. If you are the bride that received a backpack on her wedding day and you wanna reach out with more details, please do. my hope is that never surfaces- 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah. Yeah, where are you now? 

Christa Innis: I know. Where are they now? ‘Cause it’s like whenever I get to reach out- Yeah, are they okay?

to vendors, I love hearing from their perspective, but it’s so different than, the bride perspective because, there’s a lot of missing details, and I’m like, “I need to know more.” Like,I wanna- Like, 

Kristen Knutson: I bet we don’t even know the, like… I bet it’s, like, just the tip of the iceberg with this lady.

Yes. You know? Like, I bet there’s so much more behind that. I 

Christa Innis: know. We need to know about the planning process, the post-wedding. What was that? Yeah. The call after the- Yeah … photographer told her no. What did the mom call and 

Kristen Knutson: say? Oh, man. 

Christa Innis: Gosh. 

Kristen Knutson: 100%, yeah. Even the backpack. let’s learn more about this backpack.

 more. 

Christa Innis: Yes. What was the ’90s band, first and foremost? 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah. And- 

Yeah … 

Christa Innis: yeah. Oh my gosh. Okay. So I always like to end these with confessions that people send meon Instagram. it says- Okay … a compromise you made for your wedding that you now resent a little bit. This person said, “A photographer my mother-in-law knew.

We never got the full pictures, and he sucked.” I always say- Mm-hmm … the photographer is one that you have to be so careful about. I’ve heard people hiring family friends or, like, a cousin, and- 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah … this 

Christa Innis: is what happens. 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah, and you can never get that day back. you can never get the photos back, so it’s definitely worth the investment.

Christa Innis: Yeah. that time we held a wedding and didn’t elope 

Kristen Knutson: Oh, they wish they eloped … wish they eloped. Mm. Mm-hmm. That’s fine. That tells me someone convinced 

Christa Innis: them or

was like, “You have to have a wedding.” Yeah. And I always feel like- Yeah … when you’re so, like, convinced in the beginning that it becomes someone else’s day, you wanted to- Yeah … have a big wedding and they said elope, or they wanted, you know, vice versa, You’re gonna look back and be like, “Oh, I should’ve done it the other way,” because then it becomes their- Totally

decision. You gotta 

Kristen Knutson: go with your gut. 

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. 

Kristen Knutson: Totally. You have to go with your gut and do what’s right with, for you. And yeah, you hear that a lot where it’s like, “We just wanna be married. We don’t wanna have the day,” Yes. But, if that’s what your heart wants, you should just go do it. Who cares who you piss off?

Christa Innis: Yeah. this person says- I 

Kristen Knutson: know it’s way easier said than done. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. I know. I always try to say, I’m like, “I know I’m not in the situation. This is just an outside- No … perspective.” 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. 

Christa Innis: Oh, okay, and this person says, “Inviting people my husband insisted on, but we don’t like them that much.”

Oh, why would you invite people you don’t like? 

Kristen Knutson: Oh, right. Ugh. Wait, her husband wanted them- Yeah … to come? ‘

Christa Innis: Cause he insisted on inviting people. Okay. 

Kristen Knutson: Why would he want… Wait, why would he want them there? 

Christa Innis: Right? That’s so odd to me. So you don’t like people, but you want them at, he insisted on having them at your wedding.

Kristen Knutson: Unless there’s some weird, family tie. You know, it’s, like, childhood friends that they just feel like they have to have for formality sake maybe. I don’t know. 

Christa Innis: Yeah, they’d feel bad or something. 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah. 

Christa Innis: All right. Last one, “Not speaking up about my guest list.” I hear that one. Mm. 

Kristen Knutson: Mm-hmm. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Kristen Knutson: Mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: ‘that’s another one I hear- Yeah, that’s 

Kristen Knutson: a lot of emotions. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. I feel like there’s a lot of control when it comes to guest lists. again, that was one thing I was really lucky, like, I did not have anyone coming and saying, “Oh, you have to invite this person.” It was kinda just like I went to, like, my parents and my in-laws and was like, “Hey, tell me if there’s people- Yeah

you want invited,” and, that’s kinda what we did. But I hear so many stories- Yeah … about people being like, “You have to invite Marsha.” And it’s like, Marsha was our neighbor when we were three years old. I don’t know Marsha. You know, like- 

Kristen Knutson: Totally. Yeah. It’s true. I think it’s,can get so heated and it’s so emotional, and it deals with money because with every seat, isn’t it, like, I’m sure it’s, way…

I wonder, do you know what, like, the numbers are now? average cost per seat is, 200 bucks per head or something. Oh, yeah. Like- It’s so insane … which is crazy. So then you’re like, why am I bringing Marsha into our special day when I haven’t seen this woman in, 31 years?” It’s, yeah.

Yeah. It gets chaotic. I was lucky, too, where I didn’t, I don’t remember any specific drama. But when it’s like, oh, my, somebody’s dad is paying for it and then the mother-in-law is, inviting half the wedding, it just feels like this game of, fairness, and yeah, it just gets super awkward. Very awkward.

Christa Innis: Yes. No, totally agree. All right. Yeah. Well, that was a wild, wild story, wild confessions. Thank you so much for- Yeah … coming on. It was great officially meeting 

Kristen Knutson: you. Thanks for having me. Yeah. 

Christa Innis: Yes. 

Kristen Knutson: You, too. I’ll look out for some more skits, some more drama skits. 

Christa Innis: Yes. 

Kristen Knutson: I love your content. 

Christa Innis: Thank you. I know, I love yours, too.

I was saying, like, I, your, humor always, cracks me up because I feel like it’s, relatable and, like, it reminds me of people I know, and I’m just like, this is pretty funny.” 

Kristen Knutson: Yeah. 

Christa Innis: so tell everyone again- Thank you … where they can follow you, find your content, and then anything fun you’re kinda working on.

Kristen Knutson: Yeah. call me Kristen Marie on every single channel, so Instagram, TikTok, YouTube. oh, and Facebook. So those are, like, my drama hub, and then, Instagram is all, exclusive comedy for the most part. So yeah. I’m working on mostly right now just my fun drama series, which is sort of, like, the antidote to my comedy.

 and just lots more drama to come through the rest of the year. So hopefully people can come, find me on any of those channels. 

Christa Innis: Awesome. I love it, and we’ll, link it 

Kristen Knutson: all. Yeah. 

Christa Innis: Oh. Well, thanks again. 

Kristen Knutson: Awesome. Thanks, Krista. It’s nice to meet you. 

Christa Innis: You, too.

by Christa Innis

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