Christa Innis

Late Vendor, Red Flags & A Family Dressed in all Black

What happens when your in-laws hate you so much they all wear black to your wedding?

This week, I’m diving into a listener story that starts with a secret elopement and ends in family chaos. We’re talking group chat meltdowns, cold shoulders, and a mother-in-law who calls her “the family shame.”

Then we’re spilling tea on a viral makeup artist who showed up late, blamed her calendar, and still thought a partial refund was enough. Spoiler: I have thoughts.

Plus, the latest round of wedding confessions, from best men brawling to guests peeing in driveways. Because no matter how pretty the venue, no wedding is safe from the drama.

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Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

00:57 Viral Wedding Makeup Artist Drama

04:22 Listener Feedback and Podcast Improvements

05:58 Wedding Dilemmas: Proposal Planning

09:59 Wedding Dilemmas: Bridal Room Meltdown

13:17 Red Flags vs. Green Flags: Wedding Edition

17:54 Wedding Story Submission: Elopement Secrets

19:03 Understanding Oversharing and Social Dynamics

19:29 Wedding Traditions and Exclusion

20:08 Group Chat Drama and Misunderstandings

21:26 Family Tensions and Wedding Planning

25:35 Health Scares and Family Reactions

27:13 Wedding Day Disasters

28:56 Post-Wedding Reflections and Separation

30:56 Confessions and Listener Stories

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

The Viral Makeup Artist Fiasco – A vendor misses her call time and chaos unfolds. Christa breaks down what went wrong and whether the bride deserved a full refund.
When to Ask for a Refund – Contracts, accountability, and why communication can make or break your big day.
Fan Feedback That Hit Home – Christa reacts to a listener review suggesting new segment cues—and reveals how she’s improving the show.
Red Flag vs. Green Flag: Wedding Edition – From brides demanding weight loss to car-obsessed grooms, Christa calls out what’s toxic vs. totally fine.
The In-Law Showdown – One bride’s family nightmare that ended in heartbreak.
Vendor Etiquette 101 – Why feeding your photographer isn’t just polite—it’s part of the contract.
Family & Guest Drama Galore – From white jumpsuits to banned phones, Christa dishes on the social politics of weddings.
Confessions Corner Returns – Real listener confessions: fights, public pee, and champagne theft.
Christa’s Takeaway – A reminder to protect your peace, laugh through the madness, and maybe rethink that guest list.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“We are not giving nutrition plans or weight loss goals to our friends. That’s not our job, that’s a red flag.” – Christa Innis
“If your makeup artist is late enough to delay the ceremony, I’d be hoping for a full refund, at least emotionally.” – Christa Innis
“Let’s normalize letting people go if it’s not vibing. Even bridesmaids, it’s kind of like a job, right?” – Christa Innis
“You can’t expect guests to lock their phones away in a box; it’s a wedding, not a top-secret mission.” – Christa Innis
“Apparently, we’re a top leisure podcast even though I’m out here raising your blood pressure every week.” – Christa Innis

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

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Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of, Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis. If it’s your first time here, welcome. We are the podcast that dies into the chaos, hilarity, and unforgettable moments when it comes to weddings and events. And today’s episode is packed with just that. I don’t know if it’s just my algorithm lately or if it’s just because of the industry or type of content I share, but I am getting so, so much wedding drama.

In my feed lately. Um, I wanna talk about a couple of things I’ve seen and you guys can comment and see if you’ve talk if you’ve seen it too.

Late Glam, Lost Calm & Refund Rage

So the first one I saw was a viral wedding story where a makeup artist was late. And this kind of blew up like overnight. So she’s filming herself, going to a wedding saying how, um, she just got a call from a frantic bride saying, you’re supposed to be here.

Why aren’t you here? And as she’s driving, she’s saying, I should be finishing her makeup right now and I’m not even there. And as you can guess, most people are in the comments saying, you need to refund her the money. Why aren’t you there? What’s going on? Turns out somehow, something wasn’t synced in her calendar and so nothing notified her of that special day. Um, so it took the bride calling her. Then she came back and said, I gave her a partial refund. I still went there. I did the makeup, helped her out with other tasks that we had in the contract. She doesn’t specifically say what those tasks are, so no one really knows. But people are angry and angry in the comments. They are saying, she should have fully refunded this bride. How dare her? Cause so much stress and anxiety, the mourning of, and also push back a whole timeline. And I completely agree with them.

I, if I had to push it back that much, especially a vendor that’s just there in the morning, um, typically to push back a timeline that much, especially the bride. Not even like just starting an hour late for bridesmaids. You are starting after the bride should be done. And now my own wedding, I wanna say I was the last or second to last to get my makeup done. It’s typically recommended that the bride is one of the last ones, just so her makeup’s the most fresh for walking out for pictures, all that stuff.

So this just, I don’t know how late she was, but this just seems like a rushed job. Now she’s defending herself in the comment saying, it wasn’t rushed. I’ve, I’m used to doing this kind of thing. I’m used to being fast, and that’s all well and good, but for me personally as a bride, if I knew my person was late pushing back the schedule, and now we’re on a stricter timeline because of it, I would be hoping for probably a hundred percent refund. Would I ask for that? Probably not. If she came and did her job, I think I’d be happy and just carry on with the day. Again, not trying to carry that anger or resentment with me and just try to enjoy it the best I can, but I don’t know. I wanna hear from you guys what you think you would do in this situation, what you would expect.

Um, now you guys know I’ve talked about this before. I film like batch film, so this, when this comes out, this episode, it probably happened like two or three weeks ago, so I don’t know if it’s gonna still be a thing, but it’s just interesting to kind of discuss when is it acceptable to get a full refund or ask for a full refund.

And this is something that should be outlined in the contract as well. Um, like for me, when I do day of coordinating, I’m typically there all day. I am mostly there to assist the bride in helping her with running around doing random tasks, making sure we stay on schedule. And I think if I were there and the hairstylist wasn’t there or the makeup artist wasn’t there, I’d be calling them nonstop, saying like, you need to get here now.

I know like the last wedding I was a part of, we were on a pretty strict timeline. Of course, there’s always some wiggle room, but I don’t know. I don’t know. You guys gotta let me know in the comments what you guys would, would do about that.

Okay, before I get too far into this, I’m like, just like chatting. ‘Cause it’s really interesting. Um, here is this week’s review. This is from Reci Baby. It says, ‘here for the tea with all the segments that she started to develop, it would be helpful, I think, if she had some kind of sound effect or music cue so that we knew which segment was which, because I’m getting confused between all the different segments that she presents. I love them all, but it would be helpful to differentiate between them because they’re all kind of feeling the same way.’ Okay. I, actually love this comment because I, I said it in another podcast. Sometimes it’s hard to get direct feedback from you guys. Sometimes I see it here and there, but to have it all in one place, um, this was great feedback.

So I hope we did justice in this episode. We’re always making little changes here and there just to make it easier and more fun to listen to. And yes, I know I’m randomly adding segments just because. I’ll hear of things that I wanna talk about, but I’m like, where would that go? Where would that fit best?

So I hope I’m not confusing you. Um, hopefully this makes more sense or flows better. If not, let me know. But also thank you for the kind review. I’m so glad you’re here for the tea. We’ve always got lots of tea. There’s still plenty more to come, and if you guys love the podcast, please share it with a friend or Lee or review on your own.

It’s very helpful to getting the word out and having more people find it. Which by the way, this is a side note. I just found out we are considered the top eight podcasts under leisure. So love that you guys are just lounging listening to the podcast. You’re able to, uh, enjoy it and get some entertainment out of it.That, that made me happy to hear.

Proposals, Meltdowns & Unsolicited Advice: Christa’s Wedding 911 Segment

Okay, we are gonna go into wedding dilemmas. This is my newest segment. Again, I only do this on solo pods, so when it’s just me, I get so many wedding dilemmas sent to me in my dms. Um, these are just little things. They’re not necessarily long stories. It might just be a little thing someone’s going through right now or something that happened at their wedding and they want some advice.

Um, and I call it unprofessional solicited advice because like I always say, I’m not a professional wedding planner. I just, you know, give my advice on being a part of these weddings for so many times. So you can DM me or you can email me hello@kristaennis.com and I will address them.

Okay. Here’s this first one. It says, “Christa, help. I’m helping plan a proposal, an engagement party for my husband’s cousin. His soon to be fiance’s brother is planning to propose on Saturday. He the cousin, is planning to propose on Friday.” Okay, so brothers, I’m getting ones proposing on Friday and one is on Saturday. Okay. Okay, so I get it.

So you’re helping your husband’s cousin, but then it’d be the brother-in-law is proposing, um, the day after. Wow. Okay. Okay. I’m getting, I’m getting this all lined up. ” The timing of it being so close together wasn’t intentional. I’m gonna change the name really quickly here. Trevor, the cousin called the brother to make sure it was okay because he would change it if he wanted to. The brother said, ‘no, go for it.’ He didn’t care at all and thought it was cool, figured he’d throw it, figured it would throw off his girlfriend even more.” I could see that. Yeah. ’cause there’s other things going on right? “Now, trevor’s soon to be fiance’s, mom and sister are trying to pressure him into moving the date, but he can’t really, because of all their weekend, all their weekends got booked up for the next month and he’s already set out invitations for the engagement party and people are planning stuff.

I told him to just tell the mom that he already talked to the brother and he was fine with it. And he’s already putting plans in motion and doesn’t want to have to move everything when he doesn’t even know when he’ll have a chance to do it again. I also told him to add my number to the bottom to say, to reach out with to me with any questions.

Does this seem fair? The poor guy is so stressed, and it’s not even the wedding day yet.” I’m stressed reading that because I am confused who is who. No. Okay, so it’s two people. Basically in the same family once proposing Friday, one Saturday. It sounds to me like the one on Friday was planned first. Um, and then the Saturday one came along, the brother was like, yeah, that’s totally fine.

You can go ahead and do it. But now family’s coming in giving their 2 cents. Here’s my 2 cents. It’s already planned. The brother said it was fine. He’s the main one doing the proposal the next day. Is it kind of annoying to have it two days in a row? Sure, maybe. But when it comes down to it, the important people that are gonna be there are gonna be there.

And sorry to the fiance’s mom and sister. Like, but it’s already set. Invitations have been set out. People are planning on being there. And I think giving all these unsolicited advice to him to move it is only gonna stress him out even more. So at the end of the day, like, you can only plan so much. If people can make it, they can make it.

If they can’t, they can’t. And I know it’s hard to think that way, but like, especially I feel like the older we get, like I know my husband and I always talk about like how busy our schedules can be sometimes. Like to try to get together with friends these days is so ridiculous and crazy. Like we’re like, ‘okay, let’s plan like three months in advance because it’s like you got, you know, stuff with kids, stuff with family stuff, with work stuff with you know, time off, whatever that looks like. It’s, it’s so hard to get together.’ So if you are lucky enough to find a weekend where you can have something and you get invitations out, just let go and let God’ just see what happens and just trust that it’s gonna work out. Um, so that would be my advice for this first dilemma. I hope that helps, and I hope the engagements go amazing.

Okay. Here we go. Dilemma number two. This is something that had already happened to her, but just see my two sons. Okay. “About 30 minutes before my wedding, I was in the bridal room with my bridesmaids, just hanging out, taking some breaths, et cetera.

My sister-in-law brings my melting down three year old’s niece into my bridal room for a full 10 minutes. My niece is three, so I can’t put much blame on her being a child, but I still hold a grudge against my sister-in-law for thanking the bridal room, there were several other open rooms within the church, was the place for her to bring a screaming child.”

Ooh. Yeah. Okay. Here’s my take on this. Okay. So, yeah, I mean, I agree with you. Um, I don’t know what her intention was bringing her daughter in the room while she was melting down. Especially like for me now as a, as a mother of a toddler. I, would not be bringing into a, into a calm environment. I would not be bringing my toddler into, especially if she was having a, a meltdown or upset about something.

I’m very like, let’s pull ourselves out of a situation. Let me get down on their level and talk to them. And again, this is, this is of course not a parenting thing. I don’t know what I’m doing half the time. But what I’m saying is I just personally, I feel like that would overwhelm the three-year-old too, to bring them in a crowded room with a bunch of people.

Um, as the bride, I don’t know if I would say anything, but this, I think is where your, your bridesmaids would come in and I feel like that’s when they should kind of step up and be like, ‘Hey, do you think maybe we could like, step in this room over here? There’s a really awesome room that’s quiet. Um, and it’s really pretty and just kind of like help distract’ instead of feeling like you’re pushing the sister-in-law out, make it seem like a more comfortable and, um, uh.

The ideal choice for them to bring the, the niece to. That way everyone’s kind of happy, right? You’re like, ‘Hey, wait, there’s this really cute room over here. Why don’t you bring over here? I’ll bring some snacks in and it’s gonna be okay.’ That way you’re like more assisting, um, because yeah, like right before walking down the aisle, you wanna kind of calm yourself, center yourself. You don’t want a lot of commotion.

Um, I, myself, like I recently just saw, came across the picture. Right before walking out, I was by myself. Um, I was by myself in the little bridal room. We basically, I dunno how to describe it, there’s like a, a hallway where we had a bridal suite and then the next to it was the bathroom.

That’s where all of us girls got ready, um, at the venue. And so when everyone was lining up, I locked myself in there until everyone was gone. And then my dad came and got me. It was just like really calming for me to be there by myself, take some breaths and really just like center. So I can totally sympathize with this bride to kind of feel like, ugh.

I was like, my, my adrenaline was kind of raised right before all that. Um, so yeah, that’s what I would do in the future, but of course you can’t go back and change it, so, um. It’s best to just kind of, you have to kinda make peace with it eventually. I know it kind of, it sucks that it happened, but focus on the positive and the good moments that you did have during your wedding day.

All right. Again, that’s the wedding 9 1 1. If you guys have any dilemmas or situations you would like me to address on a future episode of the podcast, you can DM me on mostly. Instagram’s the best place to DM me other platforms. It’s really hard to find. Um, or you can email me, hello@christainnis.com. Okay.

Red Flags, Green Flags & Wedding Madness

Next section. A red flag versus green flag a wedding edition. “The bride gives her bridesmaids, strict weight loss goals for the wedding photos.” If you can see my face. No, that’s a complete red flag. We are not giving nutrition plans or weight loss plans to our friends. Anyone we care about, anyone we don’t care about. We’re just not doing that. It’s not our job.

Okay. That’s how I feel about that, which I’ve talked about before. But a hot, hot take for weddings. Let’s get rid of the whole like, um, shedding for the wedding. Like, sure, if you wanna work out for your own wedding, fine, but the wedding industry of losing weight, no, let’s stop.

The couple. Makes guests pay for their own meals at the reception because it’s about being there, not the food. Um, red flag. No, our partner wants to skip.

Your partner wants to skip a honeymoon so you can save money for his, his dream car red flag. Um, I understand maybe skipping a honeymoon ’cause you wanna do a down payment on a house or you want to put it towards something together. But if it’s just to save money for. Something that suits one of the part one of the people in the relationship.

I don’t, I don’t think that’s right. Um, “a bridesmaid drops out two weeks before the wedding, but still plans to attend as a guest.” I think that’s a green flag. I mean, we don’t know the reason for her dropping out, but I would say if she ate, communicated it to you and said, Hey, like. You know, it’s getting too expensive or I don’t really like the dress you picked, or I’m not comfortable in a dress.

Um, I’m not gonna be able to make it in time to all the wedding events to be a bridesmaid, whatever that looks like. If she’s communicating it, I think that’s a green flag. Communication wins. She’s, someone’s come as a guest, so let’s do it. The photographer brings an assistant who turns out to be their boyfriend, and he eats and drinks with guests.

Okay, so. I don’t think this is a red flag, flag or a green flag. A lot of times photographers do bring assistance, but it will be in their contract if they do bring an assistant. However, if they are a staff member, like if they’re a vendor, so a photographer and an assistant, and that’s in your contract, you should be feeding them.

Um, this was a thing I saw and actually I talked to some vendors at a wedding recently, but this is a. Wild thing I saw for how people have been treated at weddings before. Um, you as a vendor for a wedding, if you were there during wedding hours, so if you’re a makeup artist, artist and you leave before the actual ceremony starts, that’s different.

But if you are a photographer, a wedding planner, coordinator, videographer, dj. You should have a place setting at a table and be fed like everybody else and be eating technically with the guests. Drinks, you should not be drinking any alcoholic beverages. Um, of course, like I feel like that should go without saying.

Even one time I was invited to stay as a guest after, and I just didn’t feel right about having wine with dinner. I was just like, I, let’s, I’m not going to, but thank you. Um. So definitely needs to be established in the contract. If, um, they just bring someone randomly, it’s not in their contract, you’d have to decide.

I mean, maybe, maybe they realize last minute, like, oh, they’re not gonna be able to get all the shots without this other person. I’ve been to a lot of weddings where they, they always, where they come with another person. So make sure it’s clear in your contract. Eating with guests, I think is okay. It just depends again, if they’re doing their job as well.

Did you get photos at the end of the day then I think we’re fine. “The groom sister shows up in a white jumpsuit and says, it’s fine, i’m not wearing a veil.” Red flag. I mean, it’s, it’s one of those things again where it depends on your relationship if you know she’s doing it to be, um. Rude or make a scene, then yeah, it’s a red flag.

If you’re like, it’s a black and white party, wear whatever you want, then whatever, the couple bands photos or the couple bands, phones and cameras at the wedding, even during family photos, I wouldn’t say it’s a red flag, but it is a little controlling. You can’t expect everybody to just like keep their phones like locked away in a box.

Okay. “The bride asks everyone to wear neutral colors, so she pops in photos, including the moms.” I think that’s fine. I don’t think it’s red or green, red or green, but, um, color schemes can be hard for people to follow because then they have to go out and buy a specific dress, um, that matches and goes along with it, which is another expense for people, and they might not come because of it.

But yeah, if you are a bride and you’re like, Hey, can everyone wear this color? You have every right to put that out there on your imitation.

Secrets, Shade & the Family in Black

Okay, here we go. Okay. Here is our wedding story submission of the week. My eyes are watering, not because I’m crying, but because the light is so bright and sometimes it just gets so hot in here. Okay, here we go. “In 2017, my husband and I eloped and got married on the beach. It was small and intimate. Just my two adult children and my friend who officiated the ceremony.

Our plan was to keep it secret for two years and then have a big wedding celebration that didn’t last long. Two weeks later, we told my family and then his his on Father’s Day. No one seemed excited except for his dad and brother-in-law. To say they didn’t like me would be an understatement. I’m a loud, outspoken white girl and his family is very Latino. At this time, at the time his brother was getting married in December. This was back in June, and I was just so happy about finally being married. We were both nearly 50 at the weekly Friday night family dinners. I’d share little bits of our wedding plans. One night his older sister told me, ‘this is Christina’s time, not yours. Don’t talk about your wedding.'”

Who’s Christina? I’m so confused. Who’s Christina? Okay. Maybe we’ll find out. “Only recently after being diagnosed with autism and A DHD, did I understand that I was oversharing because I was trying to fit in.” Whoa. I can relate to that. “But I never really did. They didn’t talk about things I was interested in. They were quiet, reserved, and I was loud, Christina, the bride to be.” Okay, here we go. “Was marrying my husband’s youngest brother.” So her soon to be sister-in-law. “My mom completely played. Oh, his mom completely played favorites.

In Mexican tradition, different people sponsor parts of the wedding. One pays for the flowers, another for the cake. Someone else even buys the rings. I didn’t realize these sponsors are considered part of the official wedding party. So when Christina had a wedding party only, bachelorette party and didn’t invite me, even though the sister-in-law from Arizona was there. I was angry. I started to notice how people. I started to notice how often we were being left out, and I got frustrated with my husband for never standing up for me.

It became a constant argument every time it happened. Flash forward to the day before the wedding. I was in a group chat where everyone was talking about going to the nail salon, and once again, I wasn’t included.” But wait, she’s in the group chat. So are they just being like, Hey, are you all gonna be there? And then like, purposely not including her. If I was in a group chat and everyone was talking about going to the nail salon, I would just assume I was invited too. Unless they’re like, you know, uh, talking about it like in past tense, like, oh, ‘can’t wait to, you know. Go get our nails done or are you gonna be at the nail salon tomorrow?’ And then specifically calling out each person and not saying her name. I’m wondering why they just don’t like her so much. ’cause she’s just different or, or what. I can, I can also see, you know, like obviously in a lot of my stories, there’s couples that elope and then they come back and tell the family, right?

And so to me, I obviously, I haven’t finished the story. They seem like they could be pretty hurt that they weren’t included, which at the end of the day the bride and groom, or the, the person that’s said this story and her husband, they’re in their fifties. They are adults. They’ve been adults for a while, so if they wanna run off and get married, that’s their choice. She has adult children. You know, it was something that they wanted to do that was intimate. But if he comes from a large family where they like to celebrate together, that can be seen as like hurtful. So it seems to me like they might be holding this grudge against them because they chose to do this without including them, um, or allowing them to be a part of the day.

“I was hurt and texted the group saying, so, not realizing the bride herself was in the chat. She started the message, started crying and told everyone what I said. Suddenly I was the villain. His mother said, I brought shame to the family.” Wait, so if there, I’m still so confused. They’re all in a group chat talking about this nail salon appointment. What did she, so she’s just saying that she’s hurt, that she wasn’t included, but now she’s mean for saying that? I feel like I’m missing something. “No matter how many times I apologized and explained, I didn’t know the bride was in the chat. No one believed me.” And also, why would it matter that the bride was in the chat? So, like they’re all in a chat chat talking about it. So she just said, Hey guys, I’m, I feel hurt about this, and now they’re mad the bride was in the chat too. I don’t know.

Okay. “My husband and I had a huge fight and I said I wasn’t going to the wedding. Then his sister called me with their mom secretly in the car and started yelling. At that point, I was done. Still, the wedding happened and everything seemed fine on the surface, so I’m guessing she went to the wedding.” It just says, still the wedding happened, so I’m guessing she went. “When it came time to plan our big wedding, we met with the priest and mapped out how our families would be involved. I’m the youngest of six with 18 nieces and nephews. While he is one of five. We wanted to include as many kids as possible. During a family dinner, we began sharing details about the ceremony.

Suddenly, his mother stood up and started yelling in Spanish. I could only pick up a few words, but it was clear that she was furious. I walked out to take the dog for a walk to cool off. My husband followed and told me It’s you and me. That’s all that matters. She was still holding the other wedding against me saying I had disrespected his sister.”

I am so confused why she thinks she disrespected the sister. Because it was just a group chat that she was in. Then they were talking about going to the nail salon. They kept excluding her from all these events and she just said how she felt. I’ve seen in a lot of stories though, like where as soon as someone stands up for themselves, they’re saying like, ‘Hey, you left me out of this. That scene as attack. Someone that has not been communicated with before or called out on certain behaviors will see those kinds of things as an attack. And it sounds like they’re still holding a grudge against the couple for getting married secretly, and so they’re just holding it on. It’s just kind of growing and growing and growing.

“I decided to speak directly to his parents. I wrote out what I wanted to say in English, had a friend translate it and then read it aloud to her on the phone. Since my husband’s Spanish is terrible, his mom was cold and dismissive. My apologies meant nothing. She even told my husband, none of your other girlfriends were ever a problem.”

Yikes. Oh no. I’m still confused where this problem like started. Like I wanna know what happened before they went off and got married. Was there a relationship with his family? How did they all treat each other then? What happened? It, I, it always amazes me, I dunno if amaz is the right word, but things go bad so quickly. Like a couple of the brides I’ve talked to are like, yeah, we got along great. Like everything was fine. And then we got engaged. I saw a new side of her, or you know, they went wedding dress shopping and she had to have a white dress. You know, like it just changes so quickly. Like this personality or something that they’re like festering or holding onto just comes outta nowhere and they’re like, this is not the person I knew before we got engaged.

Um, I would like to hear, um, from more mother-in-laws. I wanna hear other perspectives. I always hear, and I’m not in, not in this scenario, I’m not calling this right out. ’cause I, I feel so badly for her, but I get, ’cause mother-in-laws will message me and they’ll be like, this is terrible. Like, I, you know, I would never treat my daughter-in-law, son-in-law this way.

Um. But, and then I get on the other end, I get mother-in-laws that’ll say like, you’re only showing terrible mother-in-laws. But most of my stories are from brides. So I just get their perspective. But I would love to hear from mother-in-laws and tell me other perspectives, um, so we can share them. Okay.

“Six months before our wedding, my husband had a health scare. At the same time, his brother was diagnosed with prostate cancer.” Wow. “His brother’s case turned out to be worse than expected, and everyone panicked, assuming my husband had it too. We didn’t have insurance at the time, but we made a plan. I tried to keep things positive, telling his sisters to stop with the doom and gloom and sending them articles about how treatable prostate cancer can be. A month before the wedding, none of his family had RSVP’d. He kept following up with his older brother finally called and said the family didn’t want us to have our church wedding, that they didn’t think I supported my husband.” So they’re just all gonna not go. Oh my gosh. That is honestly shocking because I feel like in a lot of these stories I read, they still end up going, there’s a lot of hurt here.

“For once my husband stood up for me. He told them that he knew I, he told them he knew I had his back and that I did more for him than any of them ever did. Eventually, they RSVP’d, but I was furious. I told my husband that after the wedding we were going to need a serious sit down because enough was enough.”

I don’t know what’s gonna happen, obviously, but that would stress me out. Knowing all these people that hate me and just told my husband they didn’t wanna come and celebrate us because they don’t think I support him, would break my heart. That would like rip me to stress. Um. So it’s like how do you enjoy your wedding day knowing your future husband’s family, or I guess it’s her husband already, husband’s family doesn’t like you.

Like that would just be so uncomfortable. “Then came the wedding day. Every woman in his family showed up wearing black.” Oh. Oh no, that’s intentional. Like I talked about this, not that, like not that long ago, like I’ve worn black to weddings before, but like certain weddings, like if you’re doing it as a guest and it’s like a wedding style dress, it’s fine, but when every woman’s wearing it, that’s a reason. That’s a reason.

“His mother refused to take photos with me at the church, which caused chaos with the photographer. His siblings avoided pictures too. My kids gave speeches with thinly veiled references to people not accepting us as a couple. Ooh. At one point his dad pulled me aside to dance out of his wife’s view later during the family group.” Okay, wait. “His dad pulled me aside to dance out of his wife’s view.” Yeah. Interesting. I’m guessing that’s, they’re still married. It’s the, it’s his mom and dad, so it makes me think that the dad does not support how the wife is treating her. “Later during the family group photos, I jumped in between his parents and smiled for the camera, putting my arms around them both.”

Oh, that’s a ballsy move. I, girl, I love it. I love that. For you. I, that couldn’t be me. That could not be me. Oh, wow. She’s just like, we’re family now. I’m here. “They didn’t stay at the hotel afterward. Didn’t come to the bar that night and skipped breakfast the next morning. It was awful.” I need to know more about this husband and wife here.

“My husband was heartbroken. He came from a big family, yet not one of them celebrated with us. Oh, and before the wedding. When I asked Christina for a list of family addresses, she kept dodging me. When we finally asked his mom who she wanted to invite, she said, no one. So my family ended up being about 75% of the guest list. We separated 18 months after the wedding.” No, I did not see that coming. Okay, so we don’t know if the separation had to do with the wedding, but here are my guesses, just based on reading this. I feel like the pressure of the family got to be too much. We don’t know anything within their relationship, but she talks about them fighting a lot and this taking a toll on them.

And that’s the thing. That’s what they say is like when you marry into a family or you marry someone, you are marrying their family. I mean, obviously it depends on how close they’re with their family, how close the family lives, but. If you’re walking into something like this where they don’t like you right off the bat, they make you the villain.

No matter what you do, it’s gonna be hard and your partner has to, has to actively choose you every day over your family. And if they’re gonna make comments and they’re going to show up to your wedding, all wearing black and make negative, you know, comments about you, they’re better off just not coming.

And he has to be able to decide what’s more important to him. And again, we don’t know why they separated, but I would put big money on. It’s because of the family dynamic. He probably ultimately was like, ‘Hey, this isn’t gonna work. I can’t cut my family out. They don’t like you. We’re fighting all the time. I’m not happy, whatever that is. Um, I’m so sorry. I hope you find happiness’ and um, gosh, that. That’s like a stressful, stressful situation. Um, and I hope you guys are all, are you, you? I hope you guys are both better off now because of it. Um, and that, uh, you can both find, find happiness beyond that.

All right.Well that was, that was a wild story. It kind of reminded me of like Ferris and Sloan, for anyone that’s read it, um, the story that, that’s now my book. I’m not trying to push it on you, but, um, you know, like Kate not immediately not liking his, his girlfriend now fiance, now wife, um, just right off the bat and nothing they can do can, can fix it, but, spoiler alert, Ferris ultimately chooses Sloan because he sees that what his mom is doing is not right. So, I don’t know. I want you guys to weigh in though. Tell me what you guys think about the situation. What, what do you think happened? And, um, yeah, I’m, I’m curious. I’m curious about it.

Confessions, Chaos & Champagne Thieves: The Wildest Wedding Secrets Yet

All right. Last segment is our confessions. I know I don’t always do these, but I like to throw them in here every once in a while. These are confessions people send me on Instagram, so here we go. ” One bridesmaid. I regret asking pushed my maid of honor out from as many pictures as she could.” I’m wondering, do you regret asking this bridesmaid before or after this happened because. If you regretted it from the beginning, then it’s a sign that we should maybe just like dismiss people. Um, yikes. Yeah. I mean, I’ve heard of people like asking someone early on and later on being like, I think I should not have them in the wedding. And you know what? Let’s normalize it. It’s kind of like a job, right?

If you’re their boss and you hired them, if they’re no longer doing the work or just something’s not vi, you can be like, ‘Hey, I don’t think it’s gonna work anymore. Um, you know, maybe you can just come as a guest.’ ‘Cause that sounds like there’s already some issues there.

All right. “My husband had two best men. One punched the other because his girlfriend fell and helped her to stand.” That sounds like some real, um, I’m trying to say this in like a clean way. Small dick energy. Sorry. I’m just gonna say it.

What? Just because you’re the other best man helped your girlfriend because she fell, you’re that insecure that you have to punch him in the face. I would hope that if any of my girlfriends fell near my husband that he would help them up. And I think my friend’s, husbands and boyfriends and partners wouldn’t be mad about that.

This just reads like some really insecure guy. Okay. “Got kicked out and almost punched for refusing to hug someone.” What kinda weddings are we going to guys? No. What is happening here? I’m so sorry. Um, “groom’s aunt hip checked mother of bride’s best friend as the best friend was saying Goodbye.” Wow. These are some violent and touchy people.

“One of my guests peed in the venue driveway at my wedding.” Cool. “Didn’t know a winter wedding was outdoors and wore a cream jacket, looked like I wore white.” That’s hard when it’s like you have to wear a coat outside and you’re not thinking about it. Um, I’ve seen that happen and it’s, it’s innocent. I mean, if you’re wearing a coat and there’s photos outside, what are you supposed to do? I don’t know. It happens.

“Someone opened and drank a gifted bottle of champagne for our, from our gift table. We had an open bar.” That’s just rude. That sounds like someone was already drunk and thought it would be funny.

“Told another guest off for talking on the phone during the best man’s speech.” I mean, good for you. If someone’s calling you during a wedding reception, get out of there. Go outside. Like you don’t need to be sitting there taking a phone call. That’s just phone call. Et etiquette though, I honestly, I, one of my biggest, biggest pet peeves is when I’m at a grocery store or some kind of store checking out and the person next to me is checking out and they’re just blabbing on their phone.

Well, the person, the porch cashier is like, ‘hi, how are you? Thanks for shopping.’ Whatever. And they’re just talking like, ‘yeah, whatever. Bagot.’ I’m like, no, get off your phone. It’s not that hard. Um, but I’m also someone that’s never on my phone. Like, I hate talking on the phone with a, with a passion. Um, if someone’s calling me, I am, I am assuming it’s detrimental. Like someone’s in the hospital, it’s bad. I dunno if that’s, is that a millennial thing? Someone told me.

Okay. Last one. I know I’m having so much fun reading these. “The night before the wedding, these drunk girls woke us up being so loud, so I made of honor yelled at them.” You go, girl, sounds to me like you are in a hotel. These things happen. I just assume when I stay at a hotel, I’m found to get woken up by something, whether it’s a kid running down the hall, drunk, people getting home late. It just, it happens at hotels all the time. I don’t know if it just happens here and there. Sure. But I have been to somewhere. It’s like nonstop running down the hall, banging on doors, like, okay, like let’s calm down a little bit.

All right. Those are some wild confessions, wild story. Thanks for hanging out with me this week. If you love this episode, please do me a huge favor. Share it with a friend. Take a screenshot. Share it on your So socials, whatever it is, tag me. I love seeing it. I love seeing where you’re tuning in from, whether it’s on your commute while you’re working or just relaxing at night because apparently we’re a top leisure podcast.

Um, which is funny because people always comment how like, I help help, I dunno if it’s help’s the right word. I raise your blood pressure while sharing these stories. So I’m really sorry. Maybe I should start doing more like calming stories. Would you guys like that? So more like relaxing and calming, uh, you know.

Romantic comedy stories, we can mix it up and don’t forget to share the podcast by leaving a quick review. It’s the best way to help people discover the show. So if you have some suggestions or stories or a wedding dilemma you want me to cover, please submit them at the link in the show notes. I also have my Google form where you can submit wedding stories.

I have hundreds and hundreds that I’m. Slowly working my way through. Um, they help inspire many of the skits and stories that I share on my podcast and YouTube as well. But again, thanks for listening and I will see you next time. Bye now.

by Christa Innis

Highlights, Hard Truths & an Unexpected Wedding Crasher with Bailey Lavender

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

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What happens when wedding day expectations clash with reality?

From boundary-crossing vendors to guests who take things a little too far, this episode unpacks the chaos that unfolds when people forget who the day is really about.

Bailey Lavender joins me for a candid chat on green flags, red flags, and how to set boundaries without being labeled a “bridezilla.” We share laughs, lessons, and real talk about communication, kindness, and staying true to yourself, no matter what drama comes your way.

Because at the end of the day, the best weddings aren’t perfect, they’re honest, intentional, and unapologetically you.

JOIN ME IN GREECE OCTOBER 2026!

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month!

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

01:03 The Evolution of Skit Content

02:13 Bailey’s Background and Journey

04:24 Mental Health and Social Media

07:45 Wedding Stories and Advice

14:47 Hair Trends and Client Relationships

25:00 Red Flags and Green Flags: Wedding Edition

32:06 Effective Wedding Communication Tips

33:05 Handling Embarrassing Toasts

35:13 The Uninvited Seamstress

36:39 Navigating Vendor Boundaries

43:15 The Importance of Professionalism

57:07 Cherishing Wedding Memories

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

The Seamstress Saga – A wedding vendor takes “involvement” way too far, crossing professional boundaries and ruining key moments.
When Vendors Forget Their Job – Christa and Bailey share why staying in your lane is crucial on someone else’s wedding day.
The Bridesmaid Balancing Act – How to set limits and choose roles you can actually handle with love, not guilt.
Boundaries ≠ Bridezilla – Why being firm about your expectations doesn’t make you difficult—it makes you wise.
Kindness vs. People-Pleasing – Bailey opens up about learning when to say no to protect her peace (and her friendships).
The Power of Professionalism – From photographers to coordinators, why doing your job well means knowing when to step back.
The Cost of “Yes” Culture – How saying yes to everything can actually hurt the people you’re trying to help.
Reclaiming the Moment – The bride’s plan to recreate her photos becomes a lesson in healing and taking back joy.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“Being firm with your boundaries doesn’t make you a bridezilla—it makes you smart.” – Christa Innis
“You can’t do it all, and saying yes to everything can actually hurt the people you’re trying to help.” – Christa Innis
“Knowing your friends, and your limits, is key to surviving wedding season with your sanity intact.” – Christa Innis
“It’s okay to decline being in a wedding if it’s not the right fit. Support can still look like showing up as a guest.” – Christa Innis
“There’s a reason rules exist, because someone somewhere broke them first.” – Christa Innis
“You have to show up wholeheartedly for what they’re asking of you, or you’re letting them down.” – Bailey Lavender
“I can’t enjoy your day if I’m on the clock—so pick one: stylist or bridesmaid.” – Bailey Lavender
“They forget it’s somebody’s important day and start thinking, ‘What can I get out of this?’” – Bailey Lavender
“Not all kindness means saying yes, sometimes it means standing firm and protecting your peace.” – Bailey Lavender
“Those Type A brides? They’ve got it right, they’re just making sure nothing ruins their day.” – Bailey Lavender

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

About Bailey:

Bailey Lavender is a vibrant hairstylist and digital creator known for her bold aesthetic and engaging online presence. She shares hair transformations, fashion finds, and lifestyle content across platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube. With a passion for creative color work and community events like the San Antonio Hair Show, Bailey blends artistry with influence, inviting followers into her world of beauty, style, and self-expression.

Follow Bailey:

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi Bailey. Hi. Thank you so much for coming on. I’m so excited to talk to you.

Bailey Lavender: Thank you for inviting me. I really appreciate you being letting me on here.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I was just saying before we started, I was, it’s so fun to be able to do this podcast and connect with people. ’cause like I’ve watched your content for so long and I love like just seeing the different skit content out there and I just feel like it’s, it’s so entertaining and I feel like people actually like learn a lot and take away a lot from it.

Bailey Lavender: That was kind of my original plan was with the skits. It’s like unintentionally teaching my clients and new people. I need the, how I need them to act. And if they’re not my client, maybe someone else will learn from this as well. Um, and then it ended up being very relatable to a lot of people that weren’t even in the hair industry, like some restaurant workers or retail workers or whatever.

And I just, I’ve really enjoyed it. And so now I don’t have any horrible stories of my own anymore. ’cause I’ve already told all of them. So all of mine are sent in now from all like other people’s stories.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. I know, it’s kind of funny how it evolves, like when you first start creating content and then you’re like, Ooh, people are really liking this, or this just popped up.

So I wanna share this. ’cause like I, I started just sharing like some wedding tips and stuff and then I was sharing like. Things I’ve seen at weddings are experienced. And then I just did a skit one day about like a wild, like it was like something I don’t even remember if I like saw it somewhere. And then people just love seeing the skit content ’cause it’s, it’s relatable and it’s also like helps I think with, like you said, like with conversations and how to act in certain scenarios or what’s okay.

And maybe what’s not. Okay. Well,

Bailey Lavender: I agree. I agree.

From Skits to Self-Awareness and Protecting Your Peace Online

Christa Innis: Yeah. So before I get too far into that, can you just tell everyone a little bit about who you are, what you do, and then maybe a little bit more about your content as well.

Bailey Lavender: So, hi, if you don’t know me, I’m Bailey Lavender. I’ve been a hairstylist since I was 18.

I just turned 31. Um, I am based out of Shelby, North Carolina, but I was for a very long time in Greenville, South Carolina. I started doing hair skits right around COVID time. Like, I feel like a lot of people hit the ground running with TikTok then. Mm-hmm. Um, and it was at first just for entertainment purposes.

I was a theater kid, and so I was just like, you know what? Let’s have fun with this. I never expected anything to come of it. And then over time I started catching a following. I started really enjoying myself. It was kind of therapeutic, so I was telling stories of that I had gone through. Mm-hmm. And it was like the, the responses that I wish I had given.

Right. Um, instead of just being so me and mild at the time. And so then it evolved to the, where I was. Uh, considered a skit girl, right? Where I was only posting skits, but it started getting overwhelming, um, because people didn’t know me for who I was. And so I started sharing pieces of me and who I am and what my life looks like.

And now I’m kind of a combo of many different things on my page, you’ll see me doing hair transformations on new clients, me working on old clients and showing you their evolution of hair to being a mom now, or just my day-to-day life, relatable stuff. And then once a week t or once a month, typically I’ll throw in a skit, um, like a series just because I really enjoy doing skits, but I don’t want it to be my entire identity.

Christa Innis: Yes, I love that. So what was that shift like for you and how was the response? Because I mean. I feel like there’s times where I feel like when you start talking about like the skit identity, I can, I kind of get that sometimes. And I feel like sometimes people think I, I work for them and it’s kind of stressful ’cause like I, I’m a mom as well and so it’s like balancing that and balancing my job and I’m just like, okay, I gotta do a skit.

And my husband’s like, hi, I’m here too. So how was that like for you to kind of like switch a little bit to showing a little more you and personality? Like how was, how do people accept that or perceive that at first.

Bailey Lavender: some people didn’t like it and it was one of those moments where I had to reflect back and figure out what made me happy.

Right? And I was in the, in the process of always looking for something negative someone would do around me, right? Mm-hmm. Either so a client and really hone in on that and do a skit about it. And it, it was me focusing on too much negativity in my life. And I’m a firm believer if you look for a negative, you’re gonna find it.

Um, same with happiness, right? Or joy. And so I had to shift that for my own mental health because I was constantly looking for the negative. And so changing that, a lot of people were unhappy, but I was like, listen, for my own mental health, I have to change this up a little bit. Um, and some people, like I said, they were in my comment section, like, jump monkey jump.

You better hurry up and make me a skit, otherwise I’m not gonna follow your stuff. And it was like, you know, listen, I’m a human and I have a job. I have a kid, I have, well, at the time I didn’t have a kid, but I have other things going on in my life. I wanna share who I am and I want you to get to know who I am outside of being a character on a screen for you.

And some people didn’t like it and they left and have never come back. Um, some people say, I’ve not seen your stuff in forever. I’ve missed your face. I’m so glad that you’re doing so well. It just, the ebb and flow of social media, you never really know what people are gonna react like.

Christa Innis: Yeah, but that’s such a healthy boundary that you set too, where you’re like, this is me and I need to protect my mental health.

Because it is so easy, I think, to get caught up in like the comments or what people say, and it kind of can take the joy out of it. If you feel like you’re then working for, instead of like one boss at a, at a corporate job, you’re working for hundreds and millions that are following you and then you’re like, okay, wait, but they said they like this.

They said they don’t like this. So I feel like that was really like so awesome of you to be like, wait, who am I? What’s important to me? If, if I lose people along the way, that’s okay. And I feel like ultimately you’re gonna have more people that are gonna be interested in you because you’re more true to yourself then.

Bailey Lavender: I, so I was doing skits, like I said, hardcore for a while. Um, and then I had a friend that I lost due to mental health reasons. And in that timeframe, I really started hitting the ground heavy of pushing mental health videos. Um, and the views weren’t even that great on it, but I didn’t care. I wanted to make sure that if I, it was helping a single person that was, that mattered to me.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Bailey Lavender: And that kind of was my stepping stone into creating something that wasn’t just drama filled or, um, didn’t have any mal, or, what’s the word? It didn’t have any like substance behind it. There’s this. Mm-hmm. And I really enjoyed making that, where it was like, I’m more than just a character. And that was like the stepping stone for me to see what else was out there within social media.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I love that. I feel like that’s really powerful. And I think it’s, it’s, it’s a good reminder too for people listening because like, like what I try to focus on too is like I try to show like how to have good boundaries, like in skits and stuff. And you made a an interesting point too about you started off by saying like, this is what things I wanted to say in certain scenarios, but maybe more like people pleaser.

’cause that’s me. Like, I’m more like, I’m afraid to say things, you know, in person. I don’t like conflict. So I feel like when I was getting these stories sent to me, I was like, I wanna show brides, like how they can like, you know, have, have a safe and like kind boundary and that’s that it’s okay. Um, but I think it’s good for them, for people listening to this too, to be like in other areas of your life, like, okay, let’s listen to my mental health and, and, um, stay true to myself for sure.

Finding Confidence in Community and Self-Expression

Bailey Lavender: And I’m sure you get some crazy stories because I have a few friends that they only work in the wedding industry and the wedding world is even crazier, I feel like, than the salon world.

Christa Innis: Yeah. So yeah, it’s kind, I get, it’s, when I first started this, I had just been like, I’ve been a bridesmaid like 10 times.

My, my audience is probably sick of me saying that, but I’ve been a bridesmaid, I’ve been on on a lot of weddings and then I was a bride myself and then I’ve helped Dave coordinating, right? And so I’ve saw, I saw some kind of crazy things or heard things, you know, that happen. Nothing, nowhere near to the extent of the stories that people send me.

And I just feel for these difficult relationships and like with in-laws or with cousins or whoever it is, siblings. And, um, so that’s why I feel like I’m trying to like, empower them in a different way, but. It’s hard. You get, you get lost in the shuffle with all, I mean, there’s so many stories that people tell, so it’s, it’s kind of chaotic.

So what, what kind of, like, I know you got, you’ve gone viral for skits and hair transformations. What’s one like video that you put out that you’re just like really proud of or like something that people really resonated with, whether it’s behind the scenes, your personal life or hair? Um.

Bailey Lavender: I have an array of different things that I have been proud of.

When I posted on social media, one of them was me being able to finally share my adoption of my son. Um, that resonated with a lot of different people. Um, it was one of those problems ’cause a lot of people had watched our journey of dating to getting married, to wanting to grow our family, wanting to carry first and then adopt because I am getting older and, you know, you start getting into where it turns into a geriatric pregnancy.

So then when, um, fertility just didn’t seem like it was gonna go our way, that’s when we were like, all right now to what we were gonna do next, which was adoption. And it fell into our hands. And that was a beautiful experience. Being able to share that with my followers because. So many of them were so encouraging, so kind.

And of course you get hate online. And I had the horrific messages from people, um, as well. But the good at what outweighed the bad and they were so kind, so uplifting. But I also had like career achievements where I went from a girl who was working a salon who the owner hated me and she genuinely made me want to leave the career altogether to now where I am able to share where I’m going on to stages and teaching at these huge hair shows.

And because of social media, I am able to, where I was terrified to post my own work behind the chair because it didn’t look like some of my friends who are these vivid artists.

Christa Innis: Mm.

Bailey Lavender: And now they’ve encouraged me to post my work because I do do good work. It’s just not the same as theirs. It looks very different ’cause they’re doing rainbows where I’m doing, lived in blondes.

Mm-hmm. And so I was scared to post it. But because of my friends that I’ve surrounded myself because of social media. Mm-hmm. But also the followers that I have, that I, when I meet them out in public, they like run up to me and they’re so excited and proud of me for like something that I recently posted, how they, it resonated with them.

And it’s more than a number, it’s a community if you do it the right way. Yes.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Absolutely. I love that. I love that. There’s such beauty in social media and connection. Um, and like you said, growing that community because it’s so easy to feel alone in certain aspects of your life or like career parenthood, how you do things.

And there’s, I feel like there’s always someone that’s going through something similar or can relate or resonate in some way. And I think that’s truly the beauty of it. And like you said, you started all this during 2020 COVID, things were rough. We didn’t really know what the future was gonna look like.

Um, and so I feel like a lot of people found connection through that time, through social media. And it saved I think a lot of people being able to be like, okay. Here’s my new community, we’re gonna wake this work

Bailey Lavender: well because at the time we weren’t allowed to connect. And as a hairstylist, I’m used to seeing many different people in my chair in just a singular day and then going to feeling isolated and was training my dog.

And that was about it. Like I felt very alone in that time. And so social media, it was my therapy at the time.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yeah. You gotta like lean into like what’s gonna make you feel better and allow you to connect. And I feel like connection is such a powerful thing. And I’m sure you can say with like, with motherhood too, that’s such a powerful thing.

Um, before I did this, I worked for a motherhood brand and that was like, one of the things I always helped was like, grow communities with moms because. It can be so isolating if you’re in like a rough spot and you’re like, oh my gosh, I’m the only one that’s dealing with, you know, potty training or whatever it is.

But it’s like the second you text a friend or like someone talk to someone in your community and you’re like, Hey, this is what’s going on. They’re like, that exact same thing happened to me. You’re okay mama. Like, you know,

Bailey Lavender: I have a friend Meg, me, Meg hair, and she had her baby almost nine months exactly after Kayden was born.

Christa Innis: Oh wow.

Bailey Lavender: And it’s very sweet and funny to me because she’ll hit these milestones and every so often she’ll call me and she’s like, is this normal? And I’m like, yeah baby, we did that. We’re good. You’re good. No worries. Or she’ll be teething or something new will happen and she’ll call and she’ll be worried that it’s abnormal or she’s not supposed to be hitting those milestones or whatever at the time.

And like you said, the camaraderie of like finding people, not just that have been through raising a child, but are going through it currently with you. Mm-hmm. It makes a huge difference. I have a friend. That she actually will be giving birth tomorrow. Um, she’s getting induced and through her pregnancy, she’s not done it.

But I really wanted her to post her her story. ’cause her story, I’m not gonna get into it ’cause her story to tell, but her story is very different. And I wanted her to share her story because she felt so alone. And I’m like, no, I want you to share it because there are so many people that will relate with you.

And I’ve never been through it, but I know that if you get it out there, you’re gonna help someone else and you’re gonna feel better about it.

Christa Innis: Yes, 100%. That’s someone I used to work with had, um, a very rare set of twins when she was pregnant. They were called mono, mono, mono twins. And which means, I think it means they’re, someone’s probably gonna correct me, listen, so I wanna say they’re both, they’re born in the same sac and they share the same umbilical.

I don’t, I can’t remember, but it’s very, it’s very rare. It’s like one out of like. A hundred thousand or something crazy. Right. And I remember her like telling me about it. She like came on and talked about it and when we posted it was like a community of like mono, mono twin moms commenting. And it was just like, I think all 10 in the last 10 years were like, found it somehow through search.

’cause they’re like, oh, I’m able to connect with someone. And it’s such a powerful tool I feel like in all aspects of just connection in the right way, like you said.

Bailey Lavender: Yeah. Well, twins in general are so interesting to me. If you’ve heard of like twin telepathy and all the things, like I, I genuinely think twins are so cool and then there is like tiny little, like, I don’t know the correct word for it, but like, different divisions of twins and their different connections and how they like relate with each other and how they can be in different spots and know the other one.

Something’s wrong with the other one. It’s just, it’s cool. Uh, that is a neat little story. Yeah.

Christa Innis: It’s, it’s so interesting to, um. To, yeah, to hear that and to connect in that way. Um, okay. Kind of going, going into your, your expertise in hair, what do you, okay, let’s talk about like current lifestyles. What’s one like hair transformation that you, I know you said you like the, um, what’d you call it?

The, the, the blo, what’d you call it? The relaxed, lived in

Bailey Lavender: blondes.

Christa Innis: Lived in blonde. That speaks to me ’cause I’m like, I’m so bad with getting my hair done. Mm-hmm. I just went for the first time last week after a year. Mm-hmm. So, um, I love the lived in blonde. Um, what’s like a current trend that you are loving with hair or what do you think is a piece of advice that all people should know when it comes to their hair?

Not to put you on the spot. I know it’s kind. Oh.

Bailey Lavender: So I actually, this one’s gonna speak to hair shells. I got one that I love about hair right now and one that I hate about hair right now. Okay. A lot of hair. I’m gonna start with the hate. Um, a lot of people within the hair industry are seeing where we’re going through a recession right now.

Right. And they are leaning into that and, and deeming a certain hair trend, which is like a low maintenance blonde, the recession blonde. And I don’t, I hate that terminology with a passion because it makes it feel like, it makes it feel negative to me. Mm. That is my personal opinion. It makes it feel negative to me.

I’d never want any of my clients to feel like I’m pushing a service onto them because they can’t afford it. That is not, they’re not, I’m not in their wallet. If they can afford it, absolutely, I can tell them the reasons of why I think a service will be best for them, but because our economy is not the best point right now is not one of those reasons, and I cannot stand that terminology love on the other side.

I love that a lot of people are starting to embrace what they want to do. For so long, I heard so many of my clients say the terminology of like, well, my husband prefers X, Y, Z and of course I get people want to like make their spouse, husband like happy. I, I fully understand that. But there’s starting to be more of this independency of, if I feel good, my spouse will love me.

End of story, period. They, they married me for me and this is gonna make me happy. And so many people, and kudos to the spouses that encourage. Their partners to do what makes them happy. I’m seeing more and more of that, and I genuinely feel like it’s making a change in relationships between hairstylist client and the client and their spouse.

Yes. And

Christa Innis: I think then they can probably leave feeling so much better too. Like, oh, I’m not just like checking a box of like what they like to see me in. Mm-hmm. Um, I feel like that applies to like wedding stories too. I’ve seen too, like, so, so many times that rides right in, they like do something that like, oh, what will so and so, like, what does so and so want to see?

And I think one thing we’re getting better at, and I don’t know if it’s like a millennial thing or what, but um, getting better at like, no, this makes me feel good. Like, I’m gonna do this for me. And it’s not selfish. It’s because like I deserve it. You know, or it’s like I deserve to feel just as good as that person does.

So I love that.

Bailey Lavender: So I’ve seen, which you probably see this as well, but since being a hairstylist, I talk to a lot of different people about they’re going to someone’s wedding or they’re planning a wedding. And I don’t do wedding here myself. Currently. I’m thinking about getting back into it because I have a friend who doesn’t and it, uh, she makes it look enjoyable.

Yeah. But, um, I see a lot of people that are going to weddings and for a super long time, a lot of brides required everyone to look identical.

Christa Innis: Hmm. And

Bailey Lavender: unfortunately trying to make everyone look identical, no one did. And it threw everything off. Bridesmaids were not feeling beautiful in their dressings.

’cause it did, it wasn’t made for them. Or their hairstyle. It doesn’t work for their face. Or you could just tell they felt off or icky in their own skin. You want that person to feel gorgeous on a day that you’re celebrating altogether. And I’m seeing more and more of these brides be like, no, this is my wedding day, but I still want you to feel beautiful.

And they’re like, just be like, Hey, find a dress that makes you feel pretty within this color palette or within this style. Wear your hair exactly how you want, but just don’t wear it exactly like mine. Like it there, there’s way more leniency in the bridal world equaling out with the hair world. Yeah. Um, and it’s, it’s creating this inclusivity that I’m loving.

Christa Innis: Yes, I know. I love it so much. ’cause some of the, yeah, some of the earlier weddings I was in, it was like a uniform. Yeah. Like you put on this dress and it’s like. It’s fine. We’re all, we all match. Exactly. Luckily, I don’t think I’ve ever been in one where we had to match the hair and dress, but it’s like dress in shoes.

Exactly. Um, but I’ve seen a lot of weddings where it’s like, hair has to all be an updo, hair has to be like this. And it’s like, what if that doesn’t look good on me? I don’t feel like myself. Um, but yeah, I, I’ve been seeing more and more like, pick, pick any dress in this color family or pick any dress from this website.

And I’m like, I love that too, because we’re all different. We all have different body types and I just feel like you want, you want your people up there to feel comfortable in their own skin too.

Knowing Your Role, Setting Boundaries, and Showing Up Right on the Big Day

Bailey Lavender: One of my friends, a few years ago, she had a wedding and she did the, the style where like she has the color and the style that she wants, but the, how it’s constructed, you get to choose as a bridesmaid.

She just wanted everybody in something a little different than one another. And I didn’t fully understand it at the time because when she was getting married it was kind of abnormal for that. And then looking at every single bridesmaid, there was me who is tall. There was another girl who was short.

There’s one who was ex had extreme chest, right? Like very big compared to mine. And I was in like a strapless dress. And she, looking at her, I was like, strapless dress would not have looked good on you. Or not even not look good. It would not felt good on her. Yeah. And it just, it was one of those moments that was eyeopening to me of like, you care about every single person in your wedding party, not just about your day.

Christa Innis: Yes, 100%. You want your people to feel just as good as you do. And I’ve seen the weddings where it’s like they’re put all in this like form fitting strapless dress and everyone’s

just there and like you can tell when people don’t feel comfortable, but they’re just gonna like suck it up. And yeah, I did something similar at mine.

Like it was like, I think it was like. Any of the mo of col like shades they could pick. And some did strapless, some did, um, lower cuts. Some did sho like sleeves. And I knew everyone has their own insecurities and their own favorite parts of their body that they can just, you know, they, they wanna accentuate.

Um, same with like hair and makeup too. I was like, do what you want with your hair and makeup. Get it done or don’t, I don’t care. I want you to feel like you. Um, so I feel like that pressure too in some ways. I know there’s some very extreme wedding industry where it’s like, you still gotta do follow my uniform.

But I do see, I feel like overall you’re right about that.

Bailey Lavender: I think it truly is based upon who you’re friends with, right? Where you understand your friends, you understand if someone is extremely Type A and they want something a specific way, and they have to have that vision their entire life. Um, none of my friends are that way because I am not that kind of person and I struggle to be a Type A and a lot of times the weddings that I see, they’re all like the Type A bride.

They’re all kind of that way. So it works. Like I’ve seen brides that they have, I mean down to timeframe of when they’re eating breakfast and when they’re brushing their teeth, type of like schedule Uhhuh and all of their bridesmaids work that way. And so it works for their wedding. Yes. Where any, any wedding I’ve ever been in, it’s not formulated like that because I don’t have friends like that because I am a bad friend to a type A person.

Christa Innis: Yes. No, I totally get that. Yes. Knowing your friends is like. Is key. So I always say in like a lot of these bridesmaid stories I get where I’m like, if, if it’s not communicated ahead of time or you feel like you’re being asked of something that is like outta your comfort zone, you can decline. It’s okay to decline and just be like, this is not the right, I’d rather come as a guest or you know, vice versa.

Like if it’s just not a good match, it’s okay. I know there’s sometimes hurt feelings, but I feel like it’s better to just. Be like, you know what? I’d rather just support you and be there as a guest and I don’t wanna spend all, you know, thousands of dollars on a bachelorette with all new clothes or, you know, whatever that ask is.

And have those boundaries. For sure. Yeah.

Bailey Lavender: I was asked to be in a wedding a few years ago, and I had to have the very un uncomfy conversation with her that she took phenomenally, because like I said, I’m very pick picky about the people I have around me.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Bailey Lavender: And she wanted me to do hair for the wedding, but then she also wanted me a bridesmaid and I was like, listen, I would love to do one or the other.

Yeah. Whichever one you prefer me to be in, I will do, but I cannot do both, because she had like a ton of bridesmaids and I was like, I can’t enjoy your day if I’m on the clock so I can do your hair and mine and be a bridesmaid, or I can do everybody’s. So you’re gonna have to choose.

Christa Innis: I love that you said that because that relates to a lot of the stories that we’ve gotten to where it’s like.

People will ask someone that’s already a part of the wedding or a family member will come in and be like, I’ll be your photographer. And they also wanna be a guest. They also wanna be the aunt. And it’s like, just be either a friend that day, family member, or be a vendor. It’s hard to do all things and really, because you, you like, you hear about the photographer where it’s like, then they don’t get the photos or it’s like they’re distracted talking to somebody so they’re not taking the photos, you know?

So I think it’s a lot. Yeah, that was like such like a good way to communicate that.

Bailey Lavender: I think it’s important not only as someone who gets to be able to attend such a special day, that you pay attention to what your goal is in that moment, right? Mm-hmm. Is my goal to support her. ’cause I was there for the bride.

Is my goal to support her on the wedding day as a bridesmaid or. Right, because those are two vastly different things and I have to show up in the best way for her that day. So if you’re a photographer that day, you better be making sure you’re giving her the best photos of her entire life. ’cause this is an important day, or the bridesmaid or whatever it is, I believe on an important day, you have to show up wholeheartedly for what they’re asking of you.

And if you don’t, then you’re letting them down. And I refuse to let people down like that.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. I love that. That’s great advice because I feel like a lot of times too, we wanna be able to do it all for our friends. We say, yes, yes, yes. But in the long run, that can actually hurt them or hurt who you are as like whatever job they’re asking you to do. Like you can’t do it all. It’s just not possible. And you can be a better friend by being like this or this.

Red Flags, Green Flags, and Wedding Chaos

Okay. I wanna do, before we get to the main story that we’re gonna react to, and we’re gonna do a little this or that, it’s a red flag verse green flag. So I’m gonna read a statement and you’re gonna tell me if it’s a red flag or green flag.

Um, I think most of the time they’re pretty obvious, but some will, will toy back and forth with. Okay. Um, here we go. Your future mother-in-law gets her hair styled, almost identical to yours, and the guests keep complimenting her bridal look.

Bailey Lavender: I think it’s a great flag. I find it to be a compliment that you want my same hairstyle, but some people may, uh, defer.

I know. I,

Christa Innis: I think that’s a very good way to look at it too, because like me, like I, I get along with my mother-in-law so well, and so like, she has better style than I do. She like know she’s so good with that stuff, so I wouldn’t take it personally or take it offensively either. Yes, yes. I said the white dress thing.

I’m like, if my grandma, my mom, or my mother-in-law came in a white dress, I would not have been mad. I would not have cared.

Bailey Lavender: See, like you said, I have a phenomenal relationship with my mother-in-law, but I also know that just because we have, if we do the same hairstyle, it’s gonna look different on her than it does on me.

She found inspiration. I mean, that’s what the internet is. The Pinterest, if you get on Pinterest, you’re gonna probably copy something that someone else has done. Because you think it’s beautiful? I don’t think it’s bad.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Um, okay. The photographer insists on group photos now, but one bridesmaid refuses because her hair is only halfway done.

Bailey Lavender: That’s complicated because of course I would want my mine to be done, so I feel like that’s a green flag. She doesn’t wanna ruin the bride’s pictures.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. I don’t think I would wanna start if my bridesmaid wasn’t done, because I feel

Bailey Lavender: like that’s the bridesmaid looking out for the bride. You can wait five more minutes to let this be finished so that she can get her pic, her perfect pictures.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I feel like that’s when a day of coordinator or wedding planner needs to come in and say, Hey photographer, we’re gonna wait five more minutes.

Bailey Lavender: You can go, let’s go do this instead. Yes,

Christa Innis: yes. Yeah. Because I feel like too, like a good day of coordinator or a good photographer will know how to quickly move around if like, oh, something’s gonna take a little bit longer, instead of forcing someone to be halfway done.

I would never want that for my bridesmaid. Um, the DJ plays the wrong song for your first dance, and instead of fixing it, he just keeps going.

Bailey Lavender: As a red flag because it happened to me. It did. It did. Oh, so I’ve been married twice. At my first wedding, we had like the whole shebang and the dj, it was a rarity that a single song that was played correctly happened.

And so I got mad and was like, why are we even paying this man? We should just played a Spotify playlist at this point. And so I say, red flag,

Christa Innis: oh my gosh, what did you guys do? Did you guys stop? And then like be like, Hey, can you,

Bailey Lavender: no. ’cause I didn’t want anybody else to know he was messing up. It was my day.

Christa Innis: Oh, like I’ve had it wrong. You’re so nice. I just saw a video where this happened. This girl posted about like their DJ experience, I can’t remember the account name now, but there was three different times. So during the ceremony, like they’re like literally doing their vows and he just starts blasting a song.

And then during their first dance, no cake cutting, he plays like a complete different song and they’re like, get about to like do the switch, whatever. And she just stopped. She’s like, this isn’t the song. And she’s like, I wasn’t afraid to say no because by this point it kept being like wrong place, wrong time music.

Like so good

Bailey Lavender: for her. I was not a confrontational person at the time. So like my walking down the aisle, wrong song, oh, uh, flower Girls, wrong song, first Dance, wrong song, daddy Daughter, wrong song. It was just like the, the, I’m telling you it was a rarity that the right song was played.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. And you just like went with it.

You’re just like, here we go.

Bailey Lavender: Uh, because I, my aunt at the time was a wedding coordinator and she and I had a very real conversation of it is a rarity that you will have. Everything go right on your wedding day. Yeah. It is not about the wedding day, it is about the marriage. Mm-hmm. And if you harp on this now, then everything will just be wrong because you’re gonna live in the negative.

So just let it go and keep going with your beautiful day.

Christa Innis: Yeah, no, that’s such a great point because I feel like, and, and I get mixed reviews in the comments when I say stuff like this, but I’m like, not like you’re causing more drama, but if you like stop everything or you stress about one thing not going exactly right, it is gonna weigh on you and then you’re gonna be thinking about it and then you’re gonna think about, how did I react to that?

Or did someone see that? Or you know, like that’s how my brain works anyways. Like if I do like put my foot down or say something, I’m like, did I come off rude? Oh my gosh, was there a picture? You know, was, was I doing something that I wouldn’t normally say? Um, so yeah, and even like these were like, I.

Relationship or drama, things that happen at weddings, I’m like, again, I got very lucky. I haven’t experienced that. I did not experience it at my own wedding. But some of these scenarios I’m like, for certain things I would just let it go On that day. Be in your wedding bliss. Ignore the little chatter that’s maybe happening, or someone that’s being negative because you don’t want it to take away, otherwise, you’re gonna just weigh on.

It’s gonna weigh on you and you’re just gonna be thinking about it. When you think about your wedding day.

Bailey Lavender: And also back to your friends surrounding you. I am big on, like at both of my weddings, I had the people that are most important to me, that know me the best, surrounded around me. And there was moments that something would go wrong and I could lean to one of them and say, dah, dah, dah, dah, something’s not right, blah, blah, blah.

And they would go handle it. They would go do it. And same for when I’ve been in weddings. Like there has been stepmothers sit in mother’s seats on the wedding day, and that was not okay. Like they were not close with the stepmother.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. And

Bailey Lavender: one of the bridesmaids went up there and handled it, and then they went back and got into line and we went on.

But like, yes, the bride, it should just be the bride and groom or whoever’s getting married. Not just bride and groom, but whoever’s getting married, they should just have a day of bliss. And if something goes wrong, someone else handle it or just let it be.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. I love that. All right, we’ve got a couple more and then we’ll get into the story.

Sorry if I’m going a little over on time. Do you have a, do you have a. We’re good. I’m good. All right, cool. All right, next one. The groom disappears with his friends for almost an hour during the reception. While guests are left waiting.

Bailey Lavender: Red flag,

Christa Innis: I like Yeah, I would say red flag. Red flag. Um, bride insists on a second.

Outfit change, but doesn’t tell anyone. Leaving the reception paused for 45 minutes.

Bailey Lavender: Girl. You need to practice this. Come on. I get things go wrong. It’s hard to get in and out of dresses, but like if you’re, if you guys are wanting a, a dress range of some sort, plan it properly. Don’t let people go hungry.

Don’t let people go be questioning what’s going on. Have something to distract them. If it’s gonna take you a while and get outta your dress, whatever it is, yeah. Plan accordingly. Because a lot of people are there to celebrate you and if you disappear, they’re like, what’s happening?

Christa Innis: Yes. There’s always gotta be something going on.

So if you disappear for a little bit, have music started or have appetizers out, whatever that is. Um, ’cause yeah, I, I just read a story where a girl set her and her groom or partner, they went for photos, but they didn’t tell anybody and the photographer didn’t tell anybody. So the parents thought they left and then they left.

And I’m like, how? How did they just go, oh, I guess the wedding’s over. Like, we’re just gonna go home. Like, I don’t know how that happens, but let’s

Bailey Lavender: communicate. Let’s not just leave. Mm-hmm. Just let somebody be the designator, communicate, communication person, whatever you wanna call it. Yes. Just communicate with everybody.

They’re there to celebrate you and your partner and your next life experience. Let, there are people around you. I’m very dramatic, so a lot of my people, if I came out was like, Hey, I want an outfit change so I can actually dance. Gimme a minute. Love y’all. Have a great time. Bye. Yeah. They’d be like, okay.

Christa Innis: Right. Yeah. And then they would just know, and like time goes fast at weddings, like they would know, but if they’re just like sitting there hungry, like waiting, they’re just gonna be like, okay, what’s, what is happening? Yes. Yeah. People don’t like not knowing. I feel like if people are fine waiting, if they just know what’s going on.

Bailey Lavender: Exactly. Some people have gotten babysitters and they are confused of what’s happening. They feel like you’re dragging your feet or something is happening and they’re like, listen. Crunch in here, I gotta get back to my kid, or I gotta do something else. And they’ve taken time outta their day to be there for you.

Respect them enough to also like inform them of what’s going on.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. 100%. Okay. Um, I got one more and then we’ll get into the story. Okay. A parent gives a toast that includes embarrassing childhood stories. The couple begged them not to share.

Bailey Lavender: It’s a red flag because my family, we do that out of love unless it’s like something bad, right?

Um, and we’re like, no, please don’t do that. But we giggle at the fact that it is still told, right? We know the ones that are are gonna be told. And so I feel like that one’s a wishy-washy one for me because it depends on the family dynamic. It depends on the friend dynamic and it depends on what kind of story it was.

Christa Innis: Yes, totally. I feel like there’s so many. It’s a big spectrum of like Yeah. What’s, accept, what’s acceptable and what’s not. It’s like your relationship with the parent. Mm-hmm. And your, I feel like maybe your sense of humor because Yeah. I feel like, like we had, like our best man in our wedding, like is hilarious.

And he gave, he said so many jokes and I’m like, if anyone else would’ve said some of those like that maybe we weren’t close with, obviously they wouldn’t have been at the wedding, but you know what I’m saying? Like, if it was something we weren’t close with, that would’ve been kind of weird. But like, because like he’s funny and like, we’re like, say whatever you want.

Like everyone was cracking up. So it’s always knowing, like I feel like it’s knowing your audience and like the relationship too of what’s Okay. Exactly. Yeah. Just some people don’t have the those cues,

Bailey Lavender: so I

Christa Innis: don’t know.

Bailey Lavender: Yes. I’ve been at a wedding before with my dad where someone got on stage and they got a hold of a microphone and you could tell that they were not instructed to do so.

And my dad, he’s a very large man and he knew the man and so he got up there and took the mic from him and just was like, it is so good that we’ve heard from him tonight. Everybody clap. And it was just like one of those moments, I was like, go, dad, thank you for saving this wedding. That is, and I think it’s, again, I keep coming back to this, who you surround yourself with.

Christa Innis: Yes. Oh, 100%. Oh my gosh. People, he needs to be like, at weddings where like, things might happen because I, the number of stories I’ve heard, I’ve seen stories of like people just passing mic or I’ve seen them, people just pass the mic around and it’s like an hour later waiting on dinner and you’re like, where are we still doing speeches?

And it’s just random

Bailey Lavender: and they’re saying the same things over and over. We’re so excited for Please write it down on the card. We wanna have fun. Yeah, we got DJ for a little bit longer on a dance.

Christa Innis: Yes. We’ve we’ve got an end time. We wanna, we wanna get to, yeah. Um, awesome. Yeah, I think that’s, that’s a great, um, great way to handle that.

The Seamstress Who Stole the Spotlight

Okay, let’s get into this week’s blind story, rea or blind story reaction. These are wedding stories that are sent to me, so here we go. I’ve not read it either. Here we go. Okay. I initially contacted a seamstress for simple alterations to a gown I already owned, but she insisted on designing my dream dress from scratch.

Throughout the process, she was kind and seemed genuine, genuinely excited to help, which made me trust her. Little did I know that on my wedding day, she would transform from a helpful vendor into an uninvited wedding. Crasher. Whoa. Okay. Overstaying her welcome and turning what should have been into a A beautiful day.

Into a nightmare. Oh, wait. She was supposed to help me into the dress and leave once I was ready, but she completely ignored my clear instructions. I told her several times she was free to go, yet she lingered as if she were on the guest list. It felt like she had no concept of boundaries or any awareness.

That she was supposed to, wasn’t supposed to be there. My friends who were there to help me get ready kept complaining about her presence because she constantly inserted herself into everything in her mind. She may have thought she was helping, but all she did was interfere and raw. My friends of their roles in supporting me.

After the ceremony, things only got worse. She repeatedly pulled me aside to fix the dress. I dragging me away from guests in photos. Ooh, that I would ha, I don’t know how I would react to this. Like, what are your thoughts so far? So

Bailey Lavender: it’s a double-edged sword because I understand the being prideful of the dress that she created and wanting to be there to experience it.

But in reality, it’s not your day. Ask for photos, ask if you can take pictures or whatever. Um. Uh, that is tough because ultimately I think my family would’ve just been like, Hey, thank you for coming. You can leave. But like, also as a hairstylist, I have been invited to a wedding to do hair before and there was no clear instructions of if they wanted me to stay and fix their hair throughout the night or if it was from time for me to go.

And so I had to just blatantly ask, what do you want of me? Um, because some people want you to stay to do a hair change from ceremony to perception, but if they don’t know, that gets tricky. But a lot of people assume that the person does know, but also you never take a bride away from a conversation unless they’re giving you the look of healthy.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. And it’s hard because it sounds like. She just assumed this girl would just know what to do. This woman would know what to do. And it’s hard ’cause you don’t wanna like, you don’t wanna be like, okay, your end time is this time. Once the dress is on you can go. Unless maybe she did say that and the woman still stayed.

Um, but yeah, it’s hard ’cause I know even as like a day of coordinator, like there’s been times where like pretty much once the dances start I’m like free to go. But there’s been times where I’m also invited as a guest. They’re like, oh, stay for dinner, stay for dancing after. And then depending on how close I am, I usually will just see myself out.

’cause I’m like, I’m not family member or close friend. I’ll just let them enjoy their day. But other times I’ll stay for dinner and I’ll like hang out. Um. But it’s knowing where you like fit in and where you like don’t fit in.

Bailey Lavender: And then also I’m, from how it sounds, it doesn’t sound like the bride was like, Hey, I would love for you to come to my wedding and spend the day there.

And that is one thing. It’s like, I would never assume that I was invited. And that is wild to me on top of the fact that like, I’ve never heard of a seamstress or wedding dress designer bringing the dress to the venue.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I was shocked by that too. I didn’t know if that was like a common thing. ’cause I’ve never heard of that.

Bailey Lavender: I’ve never heard of it. Maybe if you’ve ever come across this, anybody watching this, please let us know because that is wild to me.

Christa Innis: Yes.

Bailey Lavender: I’ve had so many brides, they, they go a week or two before, if it’s normally brides like it done before then, but at least a week or two before they get their dress and then they have it hanging in their closet where a bridesmaid or a mother, the bride or groom has it, and then they bring it to the, the venue.

I’ve never heard of a strength seamstress being there.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I’m wondering if there was like, some kind of connection with this seamstress, like a family friend or something, or like, there’s some connection Yeah. That would, that would make it complicated. Yeah. ’cause then she’s like, oh, I’m gonna carry this with pride because they’re all gonna see this dress that I made, and then I need to make sure it’s perfect in every photo and I need to help her, Dr.

Get dressed and make sure it’s everything. But like, like I, I was just saying before, I was like, I’ve been to and been a part of so many weddings and even when the bride has an outfit change, they like do it themselves. Or like a mom helps ’em or a bridesmaid. Never The seamstress. ‘

Bailey Lavender: cause it’s a, it’s an important moment.

Like so many women want that picture of their mom lacing them up, their sister or whoever, like is important in their life. Helping them get ready, putting their shoes on, like fixing their train. The, the hand placements, it sounds like silly, but so many women, you know, the important people in your family or friends or whoever, you know, what their hands look like.

And years down the road when you’re looking back at those photos and you see their hands, they may no longer be here. It matters to you.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Bailey Lavender: And she took that from her.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. That would really, I feel like, really bother me. Like that might be, I always say like, there’s always a moment and even people pleasers, like I, I always say I’m a recovering people pleaser, but there’s always that moment where it’s like, it’s gone too far.

And I feel like if it were something like that on my wedding day, I’d be like, I would really like my friends here to be able to do this. Like. The X, I don’t know. I don’t think I would do that, but I’m like, it’s so hard to like put yourself in that position. Yeah. How would I handle this?

Bailey Lavender: See, and again, back to the people you surround yourself with.

I keep harping on this, but like the peop my family and my friends would’ve pulled me aside and been like, did you ask for this? And if I gave them a face of no, then they’re like, don’t worry about it. I’ve got it. And they were just gone and handled the situation. But again, we don’t know all of it. We don’t know if she was a family friend where they didn’t feel comfortable doing that because they didn’t know the depths of their relationship.

Christa Innis: Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Okay. So, um, okay. So she pulled her away from guests and photos. It was as if she was determined to be a part of every moment, completely oblivious to how disruptive and intrusive she was being. She had no self-awareness whatsoever. To make matters even more offensive, she made rude comments about my husband’s race.

So now she’s just a rude person.

Bailey Lavender: Absolutely not. Would not fly? No. Okay. That I can see a lot of things in a lot of different perspectives. I can see where you’re wanting to be there for the dress. You’re wanting to try to be helpful. Maybe you have overstepped and you don’t understand personal boundaries.

That is a hard stop. Yeah,

Christa Innis: that would

Bailey Lavender: be

Christa Innis: absolutely. No, you’re, you’re out here. No, you’re being escorted at this point, that part.

Bailey Lavender: Do you no longer get the first comment? You’re out.

Christa Innis: Yeah. That’s, this is your client. If you’re making that comment about your clients, I can only mention what you’re saying behind the scenes.

So, yeah. No, not, not gonna fly. When, when I expressed that I was stressed, she told me it was my own fault for DIYing my wedding, I was floored. The audacity and lack of empathy was shocking. Her behavior was not just unprofessional, it was downright inappropriate. Yeah. Oh my gosh. This is way worse than I thought.

When we got our wedding photos back, my heart sank. She had her phone in my face in countless pictures, ruining moments that should have been timeless. I would be so upset. I feel so bad for this bride.

Bailey Lavender: I have a friend who she only does wedding photography and the amount of hate that she gets sometimes from like other people that are in weddings because she’s like, Hey, I need you to move to the side.

Or, Hey, put down your phone. Or, Hey, it’s supposed to be a wire or a phoneless ceremony because I, she’s paying me for these photos because she likes the way I do things and she’s not wanting them. And the amount of times that she’s posted where you can see a phone completely disrupting a photo that would’ve been, like you said, timeless

Christa Innis: and

Bailey Lavender: would’ve hung it in their bedroom forever or in their living room forever and now because of a phone.

Yeah. Is there

Christa Innis: everyone? Yeah. I know that’s, that’s terrible. I know. It’s like the people that always think like their phone’s gonna get the better job of the photographer and it’s like, no. Like they are a trained professional with a camera. Let them do their job. Um, I know I’ve been to weddings where it’s like, put your phones away and there’s still people taking photos, holding up their iPads or whatever it is, and it’s like, just put it away.

Take a photo later, pull ’em aside if you need to, but

Bailey Lavender: get little like one-offs from like when you’re sitting at the table at dinner and the, the setting is stunning and beautiful. Get your own little, like point of view picture and send it to her or put it in an album for them to look at later if they’re wanting some like B roll type of content, but let the photographer or the videographer or have you heard of wedding Content Creators?

I have. I just heard about this this week and I was like, that is phenomenal. Good for these people. Like making a new like. Avenue for income, but because I’ve always thought about that. It’s like these brides, they, they don’t wanna play on their phones and bridesmaids are doing a thousand other things.

And now there’s wedding content creators that go to weddings to get B-roll content for these brides. Phenomenal. Yes. But do that, don’t take, don’t think that your iPhone’s gonna be better than the camera or the editing style that. The brighter groom or whoever is paying for this wedding wanted.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Yeah. It’s definitely knowing what you were hired for and what you’re there to do and be done with the job. Because like, even as a day of coordinator, like my, the last wedding I worked like in the morning before the photographer came, like, it was part of like our contract, our calls. Like I was like, I’ll take like behind the scene photos when you guys are doing makeup done.

’cause I knew the photographer wasn’t gonna get there until noon. So I was like, I’ll do that before they come. As soon as the photographer came, I was like, my phone’s away. You don’t need me. Surely you don’t need this iPhone. Um, and, and even when I was like taking pictures of like, just stuff around, I was like very cautious about like, I did it before anyone was like in a setting just to take pictures of behind the scenes.

And even then I’m like. Phone should be away, like as if a, as a vendor. That’s not your, it’s not your job unless you’re a photographer, but

Bailey Lavender: well also, if you think about it from the persons whose wedding you’re at, right? Bride, groom, whoever. If you see this, it looks rude. It looks like you’re not present for their most or not most important day, but extremely important day to them.

You could be looking through these pictures that you just took because you think that they’re phenomenal and you can’t wait to send them, but they are gonna remember how you were on your phone at their important day. Yeah, and that’ll stick with them.

Christa Innis: 100%. Yes. No, I totally agree. It’s, yeah, it’s the fact that she was, I feel like she was so into her phone and what she was gonna be able to bring home or post to her website that she was like, I don’t care about this bride.

I, I care, I selfish. Mm-hmm. 100%.

Bailey Lavender: I can’t believe I, the, I’ll never get over the selfishness that goes into so many people that weddings, I feel like. They forget that it’s somebody’s important day. Mm-hmm. Someone is dedicating their life to someone else, like it’s beautiful, and so many people see, what can I get out of this?

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yep. I think that’s where a lot of these stories like stem from is people don’t, people either can’t celebrate, someone else, can’t allow the limelight to be on somebody else, or Yeah. They’re just thinking about their own like selfish gain. Especially because I don’t normally get vendor stories.

Every once in a while I get a story that’s from a vendor or about a vendor, but it’s very slim. Usually it’s like more family or friend bridesmaid stuff. So when I get something like this, it’s just. Oh, like you’re supposed to be the professional

Bailey Lavender: because so many vendors go into wedding vending in any right way, shape, or form because they love weddings.

They love the beauty of it and the stress that comes with it because it’s high intensity and they enjoy it and they love making it a stress free day as much as possible. And then family and friends sometimes come in with the great or with the right intentions, but unfortunately some of them are there just to ruin someone’s day.

Christa Innis: Yeah, yeah. Oh, it’s so unfortunate. Um, so it says even worse. Oh no. She positioned herself in front of the photographer as I walked down the aisle.

Bailey Lavender: Not that it’s just making me mad. Like everything, everything new. It is just, I’m getting more and more heated. I’m sorry. You’re like,

Christa Innis: in the beginning you’re like, I’m being more positive and I’m like, here’s some drama.

How do you feel?

Bailey Lavender: I’m angry.

Christa Innis: Like, we’re gonna go like do a meditation after this. Yes. I know because I’m like photographer. I’d be like, get out. Who are you? Get outta my way.

Bailey Lavender: So also what I’m hearing is that girlfriend did not have a seat. So you should have known get out, leave. Yeah. It’s time for you to go.

Christa Innis: Yeah, you, you gotta go. Because of that, I have no unobstructed photos of that. Once in a lifetime moment. Oh my gosh. That would make me so mad. Despite my explicit request for an unplugged ceremony and my clear instructions that she could only post photos of the dress without tagging me. She uploaded a video of my husband crying as I walked down the aisle.

Such a, seeing such a raw, personal moment shared online without my consent was devastating. So yeah, she’s doing it for her own personal gain for her own business.

Bailey Lavender: And are we gonna talk about the fact that she’s gonna upload a video of a man loving his now wife that you wanted to make racial comments about?

Mm-hmm. No ma’am.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah, this woman has no, she’s there just to get photos for, to help her own business and does not care about anyone else at this point.

Bailey Lavender: Mm-hmm. That is disgusting behavior.

Christa Innis: Ugh. When I left her a negative review, I was gonna ask, or I was gonna see if she left this spiel, calling out her unprofessionalism.

She didn’t apologize. Instead, she harassed me, responding by trashing my friends. Not once did she take responsibility. I’m guessing now it’s not a family friend because there’s, there’s no connection here. I don’t think she takes, not once did she take responsibility or show an ounce of remorse for how she ruined my day.

I wanna know who this is. She should share her story on TikTok. Um. Now my husband and I are planning a separate photo shoot because of our wedding photos being ruined by her constant interference. What should have been the happiest day of my life is now clouded by frustration and disappointment, all because she couldn’t respect basic professional boundaries.

If I’ve learned anything from this, it’s that even the kindest seeming vendors can cross the line and derail your day. I trusted her with something precious, and she abused that trust leaving me with memories. I’ll never be able to fully get back.

Bailey Lavender: Oh, that makes me so

Christa Innis: sad.

Bailey Lavender: This is where them type a brides have it, right?

The ones that give you way too much information, you’re like, girl, of course I’m gonna leave whenever you need me to. Or of course you don’t have to worry about telling me that, duh.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Bailey Lavender: They’ve got it right because they’re, they know that there is a possibility that something goes awry like this, and they’re making sure they handle it beforehand.

Christa Innis: Yeah. That’s why I always think it’s like there’s always rules for things because someone has broken it or someone has done something that like this, you know? And it’s like it sucks because the reason there are so many, like strict brides or brides are like, this is because, and stuff like this. But then they get called a bridezilla and it’s like, no, like being firm with your boundaries does not make you a bridezilla.

Bailey Lavender: Well, it’s you understanding what could go awry. I mean, it’s similar to like, I put the light or the outlet covers over my outlets because there’s a possibility that my son puts his finger in it and they electrocute himself. You know, but they’re prepping themselves to make sure there is nothing that goes wrong and that they don’t have to stress on their wedding day because they’ve stressed before.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And it’s, it’s, it’s, so I feel like it’s so easy to like read these stories and be like, this is what I would’ve done, but. It’s hard in those like moments of like, especially like, like we were talking about earlier, it’s like you wanted to be in your wedded bliss. You don’t want this drama to affect you, but she also didn’t let it affect her and then she saw the pictures.

Yeah. And so she’s, so it’s like at that point it’s like, should she have been? But she probably didn’t notice at that point. She was so, you know, in, in the moment and she probably didn’t notice, like this woman, her phone’s out in front of my photographer, like, you’re just expecting the photographer to do their job.

They’re fine. And that sucks that that happened. I feel so

Bailey Lavender: bad, I don’t know about anyone else, but on my wedding days it was such a blur because there was so much going on. I had a thousand things running through my brain, um, that the photos and the videos mattered the most to me be, or like outside of getting married.

But because I knew that I was going to forget important moments or miss important moments. Yes. And when you obstruct those or you ruin. A day that the bride remembers nothing but the negative things that you did on such an important day. Mm-hmm. That matters.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Bailey Lavender: Yeah. And honestly, you should take accountability and I’m so sorry.

Like that was never what I wanted for your wedding day. It was something

Christa Innis: Yeah. I think some of these vendors like that I’ve seen like in different tiktoks drama stores or something that don’t take accountability, they don’t realize that you’re ma, they’re making it so much worse for their business.

’cause there’s a current TikTok drama going on right now that I saw someone just tag me in it where she. Basically it’s a caterer situation. I don’t know the whole story, but the caterer kind of ruined her wedding day. Like certain things that she had set up and planned. They like, they like, uh, what did they do?

They put the cake topper through the cake instead of like putting it at the top. So it like, actually like broke the cake in half. They didn’t pull it out ahead of time to like, um, defrost. So it was like rock hard. So her husband and I and her couldn’t even like, take bites of the cake. So she’s trying to like, just act like it’s fine.

There was like a list of things and I guess she, like, like the person that she worked with all along didn’t even come to the wedding. It was another person. And then they kept saying, we won’t help you or talk to you until you remove your review. So I’m like, now she’s telling everyone on TikTok because you’re not helping her.

So now everyone knows who this person is ’cause they’re just unwilling to help. And I’m like, if you just fix it and apologize. Yes. Some things cannot be fixed. Like obviously the photographer. The photos can’t be fixed, but they’re gonna make it so much worse where no one’s gonna go to them because, no instance.

Bailey Lavender: Because if in reality, if one person has had that such horrible experience, they’re comfortable doing it. So someone else may have had at least a little bit of that same kind of person from them. Right. Because they are so comfortable with so much unprofessionalism because I mean, obviously she probably did a good job on her dress if she allowed her to make it from scratch.

Yeah. So this is not her first rodeo of making a wedding dress. So who else has also struggled with this?

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yeah. It makes me wonder if other people had issues in the past, um, or if maybe the seamstress typically is not invited to an outfit change. So in her mind she heard that and was like, oh, I’m a part, they’re inviting me.

They’re part, they really like me. But either way. It just kept getting worse, worse, worse and worse. Not understanding boundaries, not understanding, being professional on a wedding day. There’s like, there’s no excuse for that behavior.

Bailey Lavender: Not in any way, shape or form. Anything that was done was not okay.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Wow, that’s terrible. I feel so bad for the right. I’m glad they like are doing their own like photo shoot to hopefully like recreate some of the photos and stuff because

Bailey Lavender: it’s fun to do that anyways because your style may change or where you wanna put the photos may want a different style and you get to do something different and fun.

And I think so many people only get professional photos, or not even professional photos, they only get photos done or take photos at their wedding day or at kids’ birthday parties or something. And if you continue that, you get to see the progression of how you age and grow together and how your style changes.

And it’s all beautiful and you should like want to do that together forever.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah, I love that the reminder to do more photo shoots because I do feel like after you, like it’s like you get engaged, you have your wedding and then you kinda like forget. Like I was just telling my husband, I’m like, since our daughter’s been born, I’m like, we’ve not done like professional family photos and she’s two and a half.

So I’m like, we gotta like do those things. You have to like actively remember like to have someone take photos and like

Bailey Lavender: I was, I was very luck. I was, God, I can’t word that. I was a very lucky child. My grandmother owned a photography studio when I was really l young and so I grew up with a camera in front of my face.

And so now like at big life events, of course I think of a photographer, but even like the small ones, right? So I think about like at my son’s first birthday I made sure we had family photos, individual photos and like it was a big deal. And from here on out I want every birthday him to we to get photos with him and individually together as well because your family only stays that age for a little bit.

And I wanna see the progression of our life.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. And you blink and they’re just like, I know. It’s crazy how, how it all goes. I’m sure you feel the same way. It’s just like wild. I remember someone telling me when like she was a newborn and they’re like, don’t blink. It goes so fast. And then I’m like, how is she like a fully like walking kid, like I don’t understand and she can like talk and have conversations like what?

Bailey Lavender: I feel like it was yesterday that I was super excited that he was sitting up on his own and now he, I have to Caden proof the entire house because he is like Tarzan and climbing up walls and like trying to hang from the rafters. I’m like, dude, you need to chill a little bit. ’cause I’m trying not to. You don’t have nine lives.

I, I don’t know if you know that, but you don’t have nine lives.

Christa Innis: Yes. It’s like you wanna like encourage them to be like, grow and be adventurous, but also like, I wanna kind of keep you in a little bubble because like, don’t get hurt. Please. Like.

Bailey Lavender: Like, I think we cut his toenail short one time, like too short where it bled a little bit and I cried about it for two days.

Christa Innis: Oh yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm.

Bailey Lavender: Like I, I’m that mom. I’m going to allow him to do what he wants and be his own independent child, like you said. But please don’t hurt yourself. ’cause it hurts me worse.

Christa Innis: I know, I know. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Doctor’s visit like anything, like my, my husband and I are just, are weak. Like, I’ll get to the car and I just start like crying.

I’m like, oh my gosh. She was so brave at the doctor, but like, my God, it’s just like

Bailey Lavender: I do it every time.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I like that. She thinks I’m, but portraying her. But yeah. Uhhuh, um. Well, I loved having you on. I feel like we had such good conversations. You have like such like a light to you and I feel like you’re so positive and I, I felt like it was just great chatting with you and getting to know you.

Appreciate that.

Bailey Lavender: Thank you.

Christa Innis: For anyone listening again, can you just tell everyone where they can follow you? Um, anything fun and exciting you have coming up and what you’re kinda working on?

Bailey Lavender: Um, you can find me pretty much everywhere on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, Snapchat I believe as well. Um, I’m the Bailey Lavender, but I’m not under the Bailey Lavender on Facebook.

Someone stole that identity from me and is faking multiple different accounts of that. So make sure, if you are looking for my Facebook account, you go through my TikTok or Instagram. Um, and it will have the link there because unfortunately people are awful. Um, but I’m currently working on. Adding transformations to my schedule, um, where I am trying to get to, where I take what is called like a, um, be like someone’s foster stylist, right?

Christa Innis: Okay. And so

Bailey Lavender: I take someone, I fix their hair at a reasonable price. ’cause unfortunately transformations sometimes are super expensive. Um, and, and fix their hair for a reasonable price. I have them for two to three appointments. I learn about them. I get to know their, who they are, what kind of appointments they prefer, like quiet or talkative or like what that person is to their core and what they enjoy.

And then I have a list of stylists around me in my area that I place them with. That’s their forever stylist, right? And I tell them what I use on them. Figure out like that. If that salon, if it’s upbeat, put them with someone that’s there. Or if they’re needing something more secluded, a little bit more relaxing, put them somewhere that has like a suite where they’re in there by themselves and they get to have a relaxing experience.

And make sure that like everybody that’s on my stylist list acts still also have the same kind of education as me. And so like any new education I’m going to, I’m making sure they know it’s so that they can also attend. And like making sure that I’m not just. Taking everything that comes my way and trying to profit from it, but also like spreading the love.

And I started doing this when I moved to Shelby and I am loving it.

Christa Innis: I love that. I’ve never heard of that, but it makes so much sense because I feel like the wide span of hair salons you can go to, they’re just also different and everyone’s different. So you’d be able to do that like guesswork for them and be like, yeah,

Bailey Lavender: you fit.

And it’s hard as a stylist you are that you have to be everything. You have to be marketing and pr, pr and you have to be booking and cleaning and like you have to do all of that on top of working your schedule as a stylist on your feet all day, like you’re tired. And so a lot of them don’t have the reach that I do, and some people struggle to find their perfect stylist and so I get to just kinda like bridge the gap

Christa Innis: and I,

Bailey Lavender: I think it’s so cool.

Christa Innis: Oh, that’s so fun. Yeah, that’s great that, that’s awesome. Like I said, I, I haven’t heard of that before and I feel like that’s such a helpful tool for people to have. Um, and it helps, I feel like helps them know themselves better too a little bit.

Bailey Lavender: Yeah. And also like they’re not spending their whole life savings on fixing their hair and then I get it to a maintainable color or cut or whatever it is, and then place them where they’re just maintaining that, which is a lot more inexpensive than trying to do a huge transformation.

Right.

Christa Innis: Yeah. No, that’s so cool. Well, awesome. Well thank you so much for coming on. Like I said, it was great chatting with you. I feel like we covered a lot of topics and um, it was really great to meet you after seeing all your awesome content. I

Bailey Lavender: appreciate that. It was wonderful talking to you today.

by Christa Innis

A Postpartum Wedding, Seating Chart Snafu, and More Wedding Day Shockers

Imagine being told to pack up your three-day-old newborn and 18-month-old toddler, drive three and a half hours through a snowstorm… all to make it to a wedding. Wild, right?

That’s just the beginning of this week’s story: because the drama only snowballs into kids being banned from weddings and a brother-in-law stuck in the middle! I’m also sharing the ultimate mother-in-law move: trying to hijack the bride’s carefully planned seating chart just to cozy up to her ex. You cannot make this stuff up.

And of course, we’ll wrap it all up with quick-hit confessions: think sabotaged bouquets, off-white dresses, and a garter-removal protest that had the whole room cringing.

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month!

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

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Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

00:22 Christa’s Journey into Wedding Drama

02:01 Review of the Week

03:03 Introducing Wedding Dilemmas

04:18 Kids at Weddings Dilemma

10:52 Red Flag, Green Flag Wedding Edition

13:59 Story Time: Wedding Drama

17:38 Hospital Discharge and Wedding Rehearsal Drama

18:32 The Snowstorm Journey with Newborns

19:35 Unreasonable Family Demands

20:44 The Wedding Day Ordeal

23:59 Post-Wedding Reflections and Family Tensions

27:51 Story Two: The Mother-in-Law’s Meddling

32:59 Confessions and Listener Stories

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

Snowstorm Showdown – A couple was expected to drive 3.5 hours through a blizzard with a three-day-old newborn and a toddler.
Fresh Out of Delivery – The bride still demanded attendance, even though the mom had just given birth days before.
MIL’s Seating-Chart Sabotage – Another listener story of a mother-in-law secretly trying to swap the bride’s seating plan at the venue.
The 11-Year Revenge Laugh – Despite her MIL predicting divorce within a year, the couple is still happily married over a decade later.
Bridal Shower Gone Wrong – The MIL’s last-minute bridal-shower invite left the bride’s family scrambling.
Family Photo Standoff – The MIL refused joint photos, forcing the wedding photographer into an awkward split-family shoot.
Confessions Segment – From a guest who slept in the groom’s bed with the best man to the cousin yelling during the garter toss.
The Ivory Dress Excuse – A rehearsal-dinner fiasco when a sister tried to pass off an off-white dress as “not white.”
Song-Stealing Drama – A future sister-in-law sparks outrage over a DJ playing “her wedding song” at someone else’s reception.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“People always say these MIL horror stories can’t be real… but I get them in my inbox every single week.” – Christa Innis
“If you feel the need to say, ‘It’s not white, it’s ivory,’ then guess what? It’s probably white.” – Christa Innis
“Some venues just don’t want to tell a pushy relative ‘no’, and that’s how the seating-chart sabotage begins.” – Christa Innis
“I would love to hear these stories from the mother-in-law’s perspective. What does she think actually happened?” – Christa Innis
“If a tradition makes everyone cringe—like the garter toss, maybe it’s time we let that one die.” – Christa Innis

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

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A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of Here Comes The Drama. I’m so glad you’re here. We’ve got a wild episode for you today. I’m your host, Christa Innis. If you’re new here, welcome. I’m so glad you’re joining us and I can’t wait for you to dive into this crazy drama with me. If you’re not new, well welcome back.

I’m glad you’re here. This is the podcast that dives into the chaos, hilarity, and unforgettable moments of weddings and events. Um, just a little about my story is I’ve been a part of so many weddings over the years. Um, I’ve been a bridesmaid and made of honor probably about 10 times I’ve been a bride myself.And then I’ve been hired for different events, day of coordinator, partial wedding planners. I just, people reach out to me to help with different events. And so it all started one day on my maternity leave, I decided to make a video about wedding drama and it blew up. So from there, people just started sending me all these crazy stories and I would react to them.I turn ’em into skits. Never in a million years did I think I would be making skits in my bathroom for you guys. Um. But that’s just what life turned into. Um, someone asked me recently, do you feel awkward or ridiculous when you do these? And yes, 150000%. Sometimes I do these and I’m like, what is my life?What am I doing? Um, but then I see you guys’ comments and I’m like, you know what? People like it. I can laugh at myself. Uh, and it’s great. It’s, it’s a lot of fun. It’s fun to come up with these characters and I always think I’m making them so dramatic and I’m like, yes, it’s for entertainment. And then people comment or send me a message and they’re like, this is exactly how someone in my life is.And I’m like, that is completely wild. I. I’m so lucky to say I haven’t personally experienced this. I have seen things happen to other people, of course, and seen personal or seen stories personally. Um, but luckily no one in my life has treated me like these mother-in-law, mom. They are sister stories. Um, so it’s wild. It’s wild. And I never thought the direction would go this way.

Wedding Dilemmas 911: Child-Free Chaos & Family Feuds

So I’ve, I’m gonna mix things up. I like to mix things up, keep things interesting on here. So we’re gonna start, um, well, first off, I actually wanna read the review of the week. Okay. So these are reviews that people leave on Apple Podcasts. So wherever you listen, if you are enjoying the podcast, I would absolutely love for you to leave a review. It just really helps more people hear of the show. This one says “I became obsessed with your skits through Facebook. I’m sure like everyone else, and love the drama, so I’m glad that you have a podcast too.” Such a great listen. Thank you for your kind review. It is so good to hear that because jumping into the podcast world was completely different. From doing the skits, but I was getting this influx of stories coming in and there were so many that I just couldn’t act out. Like, you know, I can act out bits, bits and pieces of them, but some were just so detailed and I was like, if I do this without sharing this part, it’s not gonna mean the same thing.

So this was a way to get more stories out and give you guys more entertainment in a different way. So. I’m glad it’s been received well. Okay. Um, a couple weeks ago I introduced a new segment called Wedding Dilemmas. Over time, people have been sending me so many different, um, stories in my inbox, um, whether that’s on social media or in my email, and I wasn’t sure what to make of them.

Sometimes I handle them one-on-one. Sometimes I’ll just reply and I was like, what if we just create it as a segment on the podcast? It’s not gonna be a regular se segment. It’s just gonna be as I receive. Some here and there. Um, but these are just, they’re not full on wedding stories, but it’s just something that’s currently going on or people just don’t know how to address them or it’s something that happened and I’m like, this is something good to bring up.

So people that are listening, maybe they’re going through a similar situation and, and it could help them. So. Here’s how that works. Send me a current or past wedding dilemma and I will give you my complete, honest and unprofessional advice. And why I’m saying that is because I’m not a current, like, full-time wedding planner, so I’m not giving you like, this is what you need to do. I’m just giving it to you as a, as a girlfriend, okay? So I’m just gonna tell you what I would do in this situation. Um, take what works for you and, and leave the rest. You know what? And most of it’s just gonna be for enter entertainment anyways, so, um, it’s just a little, a little fun thing. If you wanna submit one of your own, please email me. Hello@christainnis.com. Subject line Wedding dilemma. Okay, so here’s the first one I got. We actually did a, uh, it was a unpopular opinion. Yes, unpopular opinion about kids at weddings.

Um, in our Instagram story, we always do some kind of hot take and we always do confessions. Someone sent me this and I thought this was a really important response. She said, comment regarding the kids at wedding events. “I’m not mad or upset if my kids can’t come, but I am mad or upset when the brighter groom get mad that I can’t come if my kids can’t.” Okay. So this is a common thing I’ve heard, and when I started making content about kids at weddings, because people would send me these stories or I see certain things.I was like, why would the bride and groom get mad? I was like, I don’t even understand that. But apparently that’s a thing too, where they just expect because they’re having a wedding, even if kids aren’t invited, that people should just be able to come and drop, drop everything. One, finding a babysitter is not always the easiest thing or trusting someone to watch your kids. Not always the easiest thing. Sometimes dates don’t work out. Abusers are expensive. Sometimes you just don’t wanna leave your kids. And that as a mom, I get that. That’s totally understandable. The, there’s so many more hurdles once you become a parent.

Um, but let me finish this because there’s so much more to this story. Um, she says, “both my brothers had child-free weddings when I had children, one at. One. Okay. At one wedding, one was seven months old. The next a two and a half year old, and I was seven months pregnant. We traveled to the town for their wedding and knew no one not attending the wedding to watch our son. Both weddings were at a stand one. Both weddings were at a standalone type venue, not near a hotel. In both cases, we made our appearance as guests and left very early to be the ones to put our son down for 9:00 PM bedtime. So he wasn’t too long with a sitter that we didn’t know in an unfamiliar place. Both times the brides were livid that we didn’t stay to enjoy ourselves like they wanted.”

So I have a lot to say about this personal situation. Me personally, and this is what I told her when I replied, me personally, I could never imagine telling siblings of my, of myself or my husband’s siblings. Your kids can’t come. That is like, that’s your niece. Those are your nieces and nephews. Like it was for, for us. We wanted them a part of our day. I know, and not everyone is the same. But to exclude your siblings’ kids just seems like wild to me, especially so little. Like none of mine were that young at the time. I think, I think maybe my niece, the youngest nieces were maybe three when I got married, but even like, like seven months old, I can’t imagine telling a sibling that they can’t bring their kids.

But that’s, and then the other side of it is. They, uh, drove to you. They are willing to travel to you when, in a place where they don’t know anybody, they had to find a babysitter. They didn’t know, which I don’t know if I would do that in a town where I didn’t know anybody. Hire a babysitter where I’ve never met before for a two and a half year old and a seven month old. To me, that is like, I wouldn’t personally do it. Um, you know, if you had an extra grandparent that wasn’t a part of the wedding, that could come. Maybe that’s a little more, maybe I would do that. But then for them to get mad that they left early so they could be the ones to put their kids to bed, they made this long trek with two small kids. So for me, I think I would address the situation before the wedding. And say, here’s what’s gonna happen. We can only stay for a short amount of time. We wanna be the ones to put our kids down for bed. Um, it’s hard to explain when someone doesn’t have kids or, you know, they’re just thinking everyone can just drop, drop everything for their wedding.

Um, so it’s really hard if you wanted them there really bad, I feel like you should have allowed them to come with the kids. Um, but then again. Either way, if they’re sticking to a bedtime, they’re probably gonna wanna leave at that certain time. So we have to remember as the couple getting married as guests, you have to ultimately do what’s best for you. And like for me, again, I would never want someone like in like the wedding to feel like I’m gonna be mad at them. Like it’s not a, it’s. Your kids are more important to you is what I’m trying to say. So that was a wild dilemma. I’m wondering how things are now or if her brothers have kids now, or you know, how that kind of turn of events was. We didn’t have kids other than our nieces and nephews. I’ve talked about this so many times before, times before. Um, some people are all or nothing. Um, so. I don’t know. I just think it’s kind of interesting when, when you cut family members out. I shouldn’t say cut family members out when you just have limits, but you don’t let your family members, you know, or understand more for your family members. That’s all I’ll say about that.

Okay. The next dilemma, “I had a cousin, RSVP for two people. Totally fine. Then she shows up with her boyfriend, her three kids, and her new boyfriend’s mom. What? Six people, no warning, expecting seats, foods, favors, and all of the above. What should we have done?” That is wild.

So, there’s many different ways you can do this. And again, this is gonna be my unprofessional opinion advice. It’s gonna depend on how you’re, how close you are with this person. If this is a cousin that you’re close to, like maybe they are Ed for a boyfriend or a, okay, wait, it sounds like, okay, so it sounds like it was the cousin and her boyfriend, so you’re just assuming they’re invited. Now, this also sounds like it was probably a no kids wedding. So that’s a whole other layer because if you only invited the cousin and the boyfriend and the kids weren’t invited, I’m guessing that’s the whole other layer. So if it were me and I was doing a no kids wedding and they came with their kids, um, I would probably have a wedding planner or a day of coordinator be like, Hey, excuse me. Um, I see that you brought some extra guests here. Unfortunately, this is a 21 and up wedding. Um, so we’re gonna have to have your boyfriend’s mom maybe take the kids. Is that possibility? Just ’cause there aren’t enough seats. We’ve already planned for X amount and we don’t have extra seats. Um, because that’s a lot of extra people.

That’s not just three. That’s not just one extra person. We’re talking four extra people. So. That’s where your day of coordinator or planner should really come in. Um, if you had no clues was happening, we need to be firm with these people. I mean, you can kind of just be upfront and just let ’em know, but the bride and groom should not be dealing with this.

I hope it didn’t ruin your day, and I, I’m really curious to see what actually happened. All right, guys. If you have any other wedding dilemmas or situations going on. Please send me an email hello@christainis.com and subject line wedding 9 1 1 or wedding dilemma and we will address it on the show.

Red Flag Weddings: Exes, Lap-Sitting MOHs & Bad-Vibe Cakes

Next up is the Red Flag, green Flag wedding edition. So I’m gonna read a couple of statements here, think about it at home and, and respond out loud if you’d like. Um, okay. “The officiant is the groom’s ex.” Oh, completely. Red flag. What? Why are we doing that? “The couple has every guest to Venmo a hundred dollars instead of bringing gifts.” Red flag. I just read a similar story about this, where they’re expecting people to pay. It’s almost like paying for like a gala or gala or something. They’re basically telling you like you have to pay a ticket in advance to come to our wedding, which is wild. Um, yeah, that’s a red flag. You should be able to gift based on one, what you can afford, and two, how close you are to the person. That’s my personal, personal take on that.

Um, “the couple schedules their wedding the same weekend as a sibling’s graduation.” Same weekend or same day. If it’s the same day, that’s a red flag. ’cause usually, you know, dates ahead of time, same weekend. That sucks. For parents, for family that have to go to both, but I wouldn’t say it’s a red flag necessarily. Sometimes they might think it’s easier because of, you know, family being in town or, um, you know, just let’s do it all at once. You know, if they’re doing it to get outta the graduation and making people choose, then that’s kind of a red flag.

“The groom tells the bride’s dad he’s banned from walking her down the aisle because this day is about me, not you.” Um, a red flag. I would hope we all agree on that. “The bridesmaid demands her dress be altered to stand out more because I should look hot too.” Um, red flag. I’ve been a part of weddings or seen weddings where. You can, you wanna look good as a bridesmaid, of course you wanna be comfortable, but you also need to just like, if they want you on a certain dress, you just gotta suck it up. If you wanna be a part of the wedding and you wanna be a supportive friend, just be like, yes, I’m gonna wear that. You don’t need to huge like change to your dress to stand out more. You are gonna stand out just enough, I promise.

“The maid of honor grabs the mic during speeches and announces her own engagement, mid reception.” Red flag. Uh, “the maid of honor flirts with the grooms the groom all night, and ends up and ends the evening sitting on his lap.” Uh, red Flag, the guest. “A guest proposes on the dance floor right after the Couple’s first dance.” First dance red flag. “The photographer storms out mid reception because the bride asks for more candid.” A red flag.

I, if you guys do not watch my weekly YouTube videos, go check it out because I’m trying to think of dates ’cause I’m filming this ahead of schedule, but I wanna say like a week, it’ll be like, came out a week ago, um, about a photographer situation. Okay, last one. The cake. “The wedding cake collapses and the baker blames the couple for bad vibes.” Um, that’s a red flag. I think those were like all red flags. That’s just, yeah.

Postpartum Road Trip for a Wedding?!

Okay. Oh, here we go. Okay. My microphone unplugged. Okay. There we go. All right, so I’ve got two stories for you today. Like I said, I get so many submissions and I’ve been getting more and more lately, so we thought we would just double up because I always hear responses that are just like, I want more stories. So. Um, that’s what we’re doing. We’re just gonna add in more stories. Uh, if you guys don’t know on YouTube, I also release a new video every single week where I, I read a couple stories, so if you just can’t get enough, I got you covered. All right.

Story number one. “It all started back when my husband and I were dating. We’d been together for two years when my now brother-in-law. Began dating someone. On our third anniversary. My husband proposed when his girlfriend found out, she told me I didn’t deserve it. What? She caused a lot of drama and by the time the wedding came around, she and my brother-in-law were no longer together.” Okay. That’s so wild. Because they weren’t even. They’d already been together for two years, and then the girlfriend came out and said she didn’t deserve it. Okay. “At my wedding, my brother-in-law told us he hoped to have what my husband and I shared one day. Just two days later, he was back with his ex. Fast forward a few years later and they’re engaged.” Oh no! “By then, I already had a child. They asked my husband and me to stand up in their wedding. They also made it clear no kids were allowed, which was fine at the time, but would later become important.” Okay. This is interesting.

This happens so many times where like a hot take earlier in the episode or a confession or a dilemma, like weirdly ties into the story. It’s not planned that way. I don’t see these ahead of time. I see them for the first time, literally right now. Um, so that’s as, wow. It’s gonna be a story about no kids at a wedding. I can tell right now. Okay. And again, it’s wild. I don’t know how old the child is, but again, for a brother to be like, or it’d be brother-in-law to be her husband’s brother, saying that these kids are not her, her kids are not allowed.

“Both of us had reservations about being in the wedding, but we agreed for his brother’s sake. Not long after I found out I was pregnant with a due date right around the time of their wedding. I stepped down from being in the bridal party because there was no way I could commit. I couldn’t even guarantee I’d be there at all since the wedding was three and a half hours away.”

Oh, wow. Yeah. That’s a lot. That’s a lot. “My husband told them he’d still try to participate, but if anything happened, if I went into labor, if I was in the hospital, he would be, he would not be there. They supposedly understood.” I said this before I, I’ll say it again. I would never put my life on pause for someone else’s wedding, and I don’t think that’s a hot take, but I totally agree with them here.

If your wife is pregnant, if you’re pregnant, your partner’s pregnant. You need to be there for them and you need to listen to your own body too. Not be driving four hours if you’re about to have a baby, and vice versa. Um. I feel like I would understand that about anyone in my wedding, so I would hope other people would too.

Um, “my pregnancy ended up having complications the weekend before their wedding. We went to their joint party fully knowing I was scheduled to be admitted into the hospital that week. My husband again reminded them if something happened, he would be, he wouldn’t be at the wedding. They said that was fine.”

I’m wondering, okay, nevermind. I don’t wanna like jump the gun, but the reiteration of them saying it would be fine makes me think that they were just like, oh, it won’t happen. He’s not gonna miss the wedding. Our wedding is most important. That kind of thing. “The baby came on Wednesday, my in-laws came to visit, but instead of celebrating, they brought my husband’s suit to the hospital and told him to get it outta the car because the baby was here.

He had no excuse not to go to the wedding. They just brought the suit in the car at the hospital.” We’re like, all right, baby’s out. You can’t wait. Get that suit on and get in the car with us. You’re going. She also has another child. We, again, we don’t know. This is a toddler, so they’re expecting the mom to now stay home with a toddler and a newborn baby while the husband goes away to a wedding that’s four hours away.

That is wild. Um, “with the pressure from the family, we scrambled to make arrangements. A friend offered to stay with me and our now two kids, so my husband could go. That’s a really nice friend. I was discharged from the hospital Friday night. My husband skipped the rehearsal to take care of me, which apparently upset my future sister-in-law.” To anyone listening the rehearsal.

It’s great. It’s fun. It’s a nice time to get everyone together. It is not 100% necessary to have, or if you cannot make it, it’s not gonna be life or death. Like it’s not that serious. We had two groomsmen that couldn’t make it because of flights and obligations with family, and it happens, it’s fine. Um, I just led a rehearsal a couple weeks, a month ago now, but.

A month ago, and I think there was like three or four people from the wedding party missing the wedding was still great. If you, as long as you know where to stand, you are fine. It’s not that big of a deal. Again, they’re fun to be a part of. It’s great to get everyone together, but if you miss it, it’s not a big deal.

“I was discharged, okay, still, they told him as long as he showed up in the morning, it would be fine. The plan was for him to leave at 6:00 AM but his ride got sick and the wife didn’t want to risk exposing us. My husband told his family he couldn’t travel that far without help for me. They begged us repeatedly to find another way. The only option left for me, fresh wait. The only option left was for me fresh out of the hospital and in pain to go with him. I’m like struggling to read this because this is so outrageous with our three day old newborn and our 18 month old. Okay, so babies even younger or toddlers, even younger than I thought, on a three and a half hour drive through a snowstorm.”

On top of all that, driving fresh out of delivery. Three day old baby, 18 month old, a snowstorm. I don’t think I would do even one component component of this. Um, I think when my daughter was about 18 months, we did a five hour car drive and that was, that was good. But to have two and in a snowstorm, we were not in a snowstorm. It was summer snow. Yeah. That’s, that’s a lot. Oh my gosh. “They said that was great and they’d give us a hotel room.”

Plus. Plus. She just gave birth. She gave birth three days ago. Three days ago. When you’re literally supposed to be resting, you’re not supposed to be getting up and down. You’re not supposed to be like in new, uncomfortable positions and stress on your body can take, make your body take longer to heal. This is completely wild and unacceptable to ask of someone. I understand, like it’s really sad, like it’s your brother and you want your brother there at your wedding, but it is completely unreasonable to ask his new wife who just had a baby three days ago, lug everybody here, plus the brother’s in the wedding.

So she’s gonna be sitting there still healing. Watching a newborn and 18 month old. Oh my gosh. So she used to be in the hotel room. “I guess the drive took four and a half hours. My brother-in-law called several times asking where we were worried we’d be late.” Dude, they’re driving in a snowstorm. This is so wild to me. Am I, I need to know from you guys, like if you’re listening to this. If you’re just listening on the podcast, go to YouTube. I need to know your thoughts on this. Am I freaking out more than I should be? This is completely like I would never ask anybody to do this.

“When we arrived, he seemed excited to see the kids and us. My husband got dressed for the wedding while I still recovering. Plan to sit quietly in the back with the children. Yes. I knew kids hadn’t originally been invited, but the family knew we had no other choice with my health.” This is so wild. They are asking her to get ready to sit in the back with two kids. A toddler, an 18 month old is not gonna sit still. You’re gonna be chasing that baby around a newborn. At least at that age. They’re usually pretty like. Sleepy and they’ll like just hold onto you for the most part. But an 18 month old is me getting up and down and that’s when you really needed someone to like help you with them as much as you can.

Oh my gosh. “As we got into the car to head to the venue a castle, my father-in-law stopped us. He had a long walk. Uh, he had a long talk with my husband. Warning that if I or the kids were seen things would not be okay and might get rough.” What does that mean? Your daughter-in-law just had a baby and you made her drive four and a half hours in a snow storm and now she can’t be seen with either kids?

Oh my gosh. “He begged my husband to still participate in the ceremony promising they figure something out for me and the children. My husband reluctantly agreed, but said we would leave immediately after the ceremony.” I would be livid if someone said that. “Inside my brother-in-law thanked me for understanding. I told him plainly, I don’t, oh, good for you, girl. That was the last thing I said to him. I was taken to a room with nothing but stone floors and thin carpet.” Was this like a jail cell? Like what the hell? “Where I sat with my kids as mice ran around me. When it came time for pictures, no one asked if the kids could be included.”

Dude, guys, this is so wild to me. It they. I like wanna cry for her. This is so outrageous to me. They put a freshly postpartum mom in a room with stone floor and mice are running around her and she holds a newborn and an 18 month old. They’re like, yeah, can you not? Like, we don’t wanna see you. Do you know how like your hormones were after giving birth, your just.

All the things your body goes through. Like I remember like right after giving him birth, like I think I was maybe. A week postpartum, probably not even that much. And we had our family over visiting with the baby and out of nowhere I just felt like all the blood dropped from my face. And I remember my husband looking at me being like, do you need to eat something?

Like, and like his, his brother, my brother-in-law ran out to get us dinner. ’cause he was like, let’s go. I’ll get you guys some food. ’cause we had just been like running around and like, I wasn’t thinking about like eating a full meal. And, you know, you just have so much going on. I just literally just felt like the blood like rush out of my face.

Like I just felt so weak so suddenly, and if it weren’t for my husband and my family being right there and helping, like that could have been really scary. Um, and so you really have to listen to your body and you really have to rest. And the fact that they just completely pushed her aside was like, we just, we don’t care about you.

Like we just want him to get here. At that point, why didn’t the brother-in-law, I don’t know. Why didn’t her husband just drive by himself? I mean, I know she had a friend that was gonna stay with her. I don’t know what happened with the friend, but, oh my gosh, this is wild. I. “Afterward, my husband was furious and ready to leave. My brother-in-law begged him to stay for dinner saying it would look bad if there was an empty seat at the head table. Again, they just care about the looks. My husband refused telling him we weren’t welcome. His brother suggested finding a corner for me and the kids to sit in and put my husband said, no.”

They weren’t going to even give her a seat. Like again, like I get the no kids thing when it does happen, right? But this is your, like this is your blood, this is your, I mean, this is his niece and nephew or nieces or nephews, whatever. Like you can look at them and just be like, you sit in the corner somewhere.

What? Oh my gosh. “We returned to the hotel, left the suite, we returned to the hotel, left the suit on his bed, and that night at 9:00 PM in another stove. In another snow storm, we drove the three and a half hours home.” Okay. That’s wild. I guess just wanting to be home, but like at that point with kids, I would be like, we’re staying here tonight.

That’s also another thing, like traveling with kids is so much harder. All the stuff you have to bring, I’m finally now a little outta the trenches with like, my daughter can sleep almost anywhere as opposed to like needing like, uh, all of the pack and play and. You know, all that extra stuff. Um, but with a newborn, I mean, you need the little, like, I can’t even remember what they’re called. I’m so far out of that now. I’m just like, I don’t know. But, um, bassinet, there we go. That’s it. You just need so much stuff. So the fact that they had to pack all that up, unload it in the hotel room, go to the wedding for what? They were probably there for like a couple hours and then they drove back that night.

Oh my gosh. “A few days later, my in-laws invited us over. I told them I wanted nothing to do with the situation. It hadn’t been a good time for me, for the kids, for our family. They took responsibility even though it wasn’t really their fault and asked me to forgive my brother and sister-in-law because they don’t have kids.” And you were raised better. Okay, first of all. For them to say they took responsibility even though it wasn’t their fault. Sure it wasn’t their fault, but the father-in-law making that comment to the husband, that should have been his moment to stand up and like be like, let’s regroup here. How can we help you?

My in-laws were so amazing postpartum, so amazing. Like they would text me, call me. They would bring food by immediately when they came to see her, they asked how I was doing. They checked in all the time. So when I hear stories about this, how women are disregarded postpartum, it like breaks my heart because you, you will never forget how you were, how you were treated, whether that’s pregnancy, labor, delivery, postpartum. You will never forget how people treated you. Um, I’m really glad and lucky. I had a great experience, this makes me so angry. Because the, the father-in-law saying those things about her and to her, no, I, I couldn’t. Um, and the, they don’t have kid think his things. Yes. You know, once I had kids, like, or my child, I, there were certain things that I was like, oh, I would do that differently. Like, or, you know, seeing a friend, having a kid before be like, oh, I could have stepped in a different way. You know, but this no. My nieces and nephews before having kids were always like, if I were somewhere and like they needed something or like kids are kids, like, I don’t know. Why would I ever make dismiss the mom that just had a baby? No, no thank you.

“Since then, I haven’t spoken to either of them. My husband tried to reach out, but was told that unless I apologized.” For essentially having a baby, there was nothing to discuss. “Now they want her to apologize for having a baby. That wedding turned into the craziest week of our lives, all because we did exactly what the family begged us to do, no matter the cost to meet or our children.”

Yeah, I’ve told so many people this before, your health comes first when it comes to having a baby. If that means saying no to your best friend’s wedding, it means saying no to your own mom, whatever that is, like your help comes first. Um, and I’m sure like looking back, like in hindsight, they would change things, but when you give, when you give an inch to someone like that, you’re, they’re gonna ask for a whole yard.

When Your Mother-in-Law Becomes the Real Wedding Villain

Okay. Story number two. This one’s a little bit shorter. Starts off strong. It says, “this is about my mother-in-law. I’d been dating her son for five years before we got married. She has all sons, which was totally fine, but during that time, she went through a divorce and life in their house was rough. When we got engaged and started planning, I wanted her to feel included. Since she had no daughters, I invited her to my dress fittings. She was even there when I chose my dress.

Something I didn’t even have my own sisters there for. We started making centerpieces together, but she thought her ideas were better than mine. When my husband backed me up and told her it was my wedding and my choice, she got mad. Her family planned a surprise bridal shower, but they only invited my family the night before, less than 12 hours ahead of time.

My gosh. When my sisters couldn’t come on such a short notice, she blamed them for not showing up. Later, as the wedding got closer, I made the seating plan. I left a copy at her house since the boys were getting ready there, some people had told her, told me after I finished the plan that they were coming, but I wasn’t about to redo everything.

The venue already had my finalized chart. Fast forward a week or two, I went to make the final payment and the venue owner said, I swear your mother-in-law came in with a different seating plan. I asked if he was sure, and he admitted he wasn’t 100% certain, but it really seemed like it was for my wedding. I told him if she had brought one, it was absolutely not to be used, and he agreed.”

This is crazy. These stories, like I share all the time about a mother-in-law, like changing things and like just calling the venue. People are like, that doesn’t happen. I’m like, I get so many stories about it. And some venues don’t know. Maybe they know, but they just are scared to like stop someone. But they just don’t tell them no. ’cause they’re like, I, these two people telling me, it’s like each way.

“The day of the wedding, my best friend called me and said, my mother-in-law told her it was okay to use a new seating plan. I told her, no way in hell did I approve that. She and my husband ended ended up fighting because she claimed I didn’t involve her in enough. My husband and I even had a small argument the night before because it felt like I was defending.

I felt like he was defending her. He reassured me. He knew I had involved her. She was just being dramatic. Turns out she wanted the seating chart change because her ex-husband was given a lower number table than her. She threw a fit that her ex couldn’t be on her side. Meanwhile, wait, so her ex-husband had a lower number table. She wanted the ex to be on her side. Okay. Meanwhile, he was seated with my parents and extended family while she was at the front table, just the higher number attached.”

So if she would’ve looked at the big picture and like really understood, she’s like, the number doesn’t matter. Like, it’s like where you sit. That thing was like, that would probably like, I wouldn’t say stress me out, but I was really focused on making sure like. All the parents had like a good view of like the head table. We had a small, you know, area, but that’s hard ’cause you wanna make sure like everyone feels like loved and like they get a good spot and like we thought about them so the bride probably spent so much time making sure this like looked good. So to have the mother-in-law come and be like, we’re changing it because you gave me a higher number than him. It’s like, come on.

“She refused to take family photos together. We had to take separate pictures. Mothers of the groom and family on one side, and father of the groom and family on the other. She absolutely would not allow joint photos. After all of that, when we were printing our wedding photos later, she looked at me and said, don’t hold your breath. You’ll be divorced in a year.“ Oh my gosh. So that was her completely like backhanded. Com. I don’t, not even backhanded compliment. That was just completely out, off the wall. Angry and insecure, jealous, I don’t know what, you don’t call it. All of the above. “She ends it with, well, it’s been 11 years and we’re still happy. She still acts like she did nothing wrong, but at this point it just makes me laugh.”

Good times. I’m glad you can laugh about that. That is wild. Guys, I need to find a new, uh, objective. I can’t even say objective. Objective. Oh gosh. Leave it in. Whatever. People will make fun of me no matter what. So it’s fine. Um, anyways. That is so cool. So cool. That’s so crazy. It’s wild in these stories where then the person’s like, that never happened.

And it’s like you get all these stories sent to you and you’re just like. I wanna hear it from the mother-in-law’s perspective. Like what does she think happened? Does she think everything was just blown outta proportion or what? I had someone comment on a video recently saying like, this story is too wild to be true.

Do you vet all of these? And I’m just like, how? How do you want me to vet these? Do you want me to call up each person that sends in a story? Do you want me to go show up at their hometown? Do you want me to interview everybody? That’s part of the story. How would you like to see this done? That is kind of a good idea though.

Maybe for a future episode I have like multiple people from one story. I don’t know if most people would, would agree to it if one’s a villain, but it would be interesting. Then it might really turn into like a. Jerry Springer show, and I don’t, I don’t want any part of that. It’s fun reading these, I don’t know if it’d be fun, like delegating or being in the middle of them anyways.

Wedding Confessions: Garter Cringe, Off-White Drama & Best Man Scandal

Okay, that was, those were some wild stories this week. Um, we’re gonna end with some confessions, as always. We ask you guys to send your confessions on Instagram every Friday. So here’s some of the ones we got. “Younger cousin of the bride yelled. Why are we watching this during the groom getting the garter.”

Yeah. I mean, I’m right there with you. Why are we watching that? Why are we watching the groom crawl up the bride’s dress while we all stand there as if like, we don’t know what he is getting. I don’t know. It’s just, it’s a weird thing. I don’t know. I think it’s a dying tradition though. Uh, this says “I ended up sleeping with the best man in the groom’s bed.”

No regrets.” I’m hoping that’s not the bride. I, I don’t think, I don’t think that’s the bride, because she said in the groom’s bed. I dunno if it’s a guest. I don’t know if she’s part of the wedding. Okay. “My sister tried to wear an off-white dress to my other sister’s rehearsal dinner. She said it’s not white.“ The famous line, it’s not white, it’s it’s ivory. It’s not white. It’s cream. It’s not white. It’s beige. I mean, if you have to have the need to say, that’s probably white. That’s all I wanna say. Um, okay.

“My in-laws were comparing the two sons, weddings, homes, future kids, et cetera.” No, that’s, that’s set for disaster. That’s only creating competition between your kids.

“My mother-in-law purposely arranged my bridesmaid bouquets wrong, and then she said she couldn’t fix them.” Gosh, you guys, I feel so bad. I feel so bad.

“My future sister-in-law got upset at me because my DJ played a song that she wanted at her wedding day only.” Uh, DJs play a lot of songs at a lot of weddings. I don’t think anyone will remember unless it’s like your wedding song that you dance to with your husband or your partner, or it’s you walking down the aisle.

Even so most people won’t remember it, but if it’s just like on the dance floor, it’s, it’s not that serious. It’s okay. All right, guys. That’s all I have this week. Thank you so much for listening. If you love this episode, do me a huge favor and share it with a friend or take a screenshot, post it to your socials and tag me.

I love seeing where you guys are tuning in from, whether it’s on your commute while you’re working or relaxing at night. And don’t forget. Sharing the podcast or leaving a quick review just really helps it in the best way and just helps more people discover the show. So I’m just so grateful to those of you that tag me, that have left reviews and just share it with your friends and family.

Um, it really just means, means the world to me. If you have suggestions, stories, or wedding dilemmas that you want me to cover, submit them at the link in the show notes, and I would love to feature your story on a future episode. Thanks again guys, and I will see you next time. Bye now.

by Christa Innis

Drunk Groom, Lost Eye & Celebrity Breakups with Cora Lakey

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

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Ever seen a groom so drunk the venue owner had to hold him up for the cake cutting?

Yeah… it’s that kind of episode. Christa and Cora Lakey spill the tea on one of the wildest wedding stories ever submitted: Fireball shots, a missing glass eye, and a bride in tears.

From chaotic ceremonies to healing after heartbreak, this episode dives into what happens when boundaries vanish: on the aisle and in real life. Buckle up for celebrity breakups, red flags, and hard-earned lessons about love, growth, and protecting your peace.

Some weddings are beautiful. This one? Unforgettable.

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Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

02:18 Life Updates: New Beginnings and Viral Stories

04:05 Crazy Wedding Stories and In-Law Drama

07:04 Celebrity Breakups and Social Media Facades

13:14 Marriage Realities and Setting Boundaries

24:44 The Bachelorette and Reality TV Drama

30:59 Red Flags vs. Green Flags: Bridal Party Edition

33:07 Discussing Red Flags in Wedding Stories

37:47 Wild Wedding Vendor Stories

40:32 The Drunken Groom Disaster

46:31 Derek’s Glass Eye Fiasco

50:11 Wedding Confessions and Boundaries

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

Dream Dress Derailed – A bride’s excitement is crushed when her mom says she can’t buy the dress because of her “back fat.”
Cora’s Divorce Diaries – Cora shares how six months post-divorce brought her more growth than six years of marriage.
Celebrity Illusions – Why perfect celebrity couples (and Instagram lives) aren’t what they seem.
In-Laws Behaving Badly – The real cost of not setting boundaries early.
Wedding Horror Story of the Year – A groom too drunk to stand, a glass-eyed guest crawling on the dance floor, and a bride who ran off crying.
Generational Shifts in Marriage – How modern couples are redefining partnership and equality.
Healing After Heartbreak – Learning self-worth and the power of starting over.
Red Flag vs. Green Flag Game – The outrageous bridal party moments that test your patience (and loyalty).
Boundaries Aren’t Mean – Why saying no is the most loving thing you can do for yourself.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“Boundaries aren’t mean. They’re how you take care of yourself—especially on your wedding day.” – Christa Innis
“If someone’s money comes with strings attached, sometimes it’s better to say no.” – Christa Innis
“Why do parents think they’re ‘giving us away’? I was already out living my life!” – Christa Innis
“Your family should make you feel good on your wedding day, not add to the drama.” – Christa Innis
“You deserve a wedding that feels like you—not a performance for everyone else.” – Christa Innis
“Don’t accept money if it means losing control of your own wedding.” – Cora Lakey
“I walked myself down the aisle because it felt right for me—that’s what matters.” – Cora Lakey
“The people who push your boundaries usually have the strongest ones themselves.” – Cora Lakey
“Weddings expose family dynamics in ways you can’t ignore—but it makes you stronger.” – Cora Lakey
“Your wedding day is the perfect time to start doing things your way, no apologies.” – Cora Lakey

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

About Cora:

Cora Lakey is a lifestyle content creator and social media influencer who shares thoughtful reflections on wellness, personal growth, and life experiences, including navigating her divorce. She actively produces content on YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram, offering guidance and inspiration in areas such as self-care, emotional healing, healthy living, and mental well-being. Beyond sharing tips, she cultivates a supportive online community, engaging with followers to foster personal growth and resilience. Cora also adapts her content strategy across different platforms, blending storytelling, practical advice, and authentic insights to connect with a broad audience while encouraging positive lifestyle changes.

Follow Cora:

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Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi Cora.

Cora Lakey: Hi

Christa Innis: Krista. Thank you so much for coming back on. I’m so excited.

Cora Lakey: Thanks for having me back. I feel like it’s such an honor to be on more than once, so super excited.

Christa Innis: I feel like we just had so much fun last time we were just talking and it was like, old friends hanging out and we read crazy stories and just we wanna spill more tea.

Cora Lakey: Yeah. Yeah. I’m excited to spill with you or hopefully hear more tea. I feel like the stories we covered were crazy last time. Yes. So can’t wait.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

well I’m so excited to have you back on. I know I just said that, but I feel like last time it just like flew so well.

and what’s new for anyone that I did not listen to? Last episode When you came on, what’s new? Who are you? Tell us about yourself.

Cora Lakey: Yeah, so a lot has changed since I was last on. I feel like I have a new name, new life, which is crazy. So I think last time we were together I was still in the Bay Area, just like kind of having my life implode.

my divorce was kind of just starting and now I’m six months in it. I’m living on my own for the first time in my life. I have two dogs and I think we got connected on TikTok. So I primarily post on TikTok, which is maybe how my audience knows me. And I first went viral there for a wedding story time that maybe could have been featured on this show.

and maybe it was an omen for the marriage working out, but you know, to give me a whole new. Career and, a lot of great relationships like with you, so, yeah.

Christa Innis: yeah. It’s funny all the stories like that get sent to me and like, I always wanna do like, follow up segments with people too, to be like, I feel like yours.

What had to do more with like, bridesmaids, right. And like a friend fallout. But like, a lot of times when I like hear about these crazy, like in-law stories that are sent to me, I’m like, I wanna follow up with people and be like, did the marriage work? Sometimes they tell me like, oh, this is my ex-husband story, or This is my ex we never made it down the aisle or something.

‘ cause I’m like, some of these stories are so insane where I’m like, how could you put up with that for a marriage? Knowing your in-laws hate you, or a sister-in-law hates you? that sounds like hell to me. That sounds terrible. Yeah.

Cora Lakey: And I mean, people are sneaky and I feel like, yeah, you just never know.

And I feel like if people are having those signs before they even walk down the aisle, it’s only gonna progressively get worse. So I agree. I wanna hear the updates. So anyone listening, give us the updates your lives. Yes.

Christa Innis: I know I’ve had a couple like brides come on and let me like, ask them any questions.

They come on anonymously and spill some stuff. but it was funny, one time someone came on and, she was like, yeah, things are, better than like where they left off. And then we like hung up and like, where we stopped recording and she was honestly, like things are like getting kind of worse again.

But like, I don’t wanna say anything yet because I’m not sure. I’m like, oh my gosh. like what is going on? Like there’s just, I don’t know, people deal with a lot of stuff in relationships.

Cora Lakey: Is it crazy? You never know what’s going on behind closed doors. And I feel like I’ve been trying to toe that fine line ’cause I’ve been talking about my divorce publicly, but I obviously haven’t said like the actual reasons publicly because you know, A, it’s no one’s business and I think there’s a fine line with creators, but BI think it’s like, I don’t wanna make anyone, I guess like second guess things going on in their relationships because you just never know what’s happening.

And even like the little tidbits I’ve shared, it is crazy. Like the dms I’ll get of like, oh my gosh, I’ve been through that too. Or I’ve experienced that scenario and on paper they look so happy. Or I’ll get messages from, you know, people with all their wedding pictures and they look so in love and they send me the craziest confessions.

I’m like, oh my gosh. So if you’re ever comparing yourself to anyone, like you really just can’t because there’s a reason why 50% of marriages end in divorce. You just never know what’s going on. And I think that’s especially important for me being 31 now and kind of starting my life over, like I want women to see my story and see other women that maybe, aren’t where they thought they’d be in life and feel encouraged because it’s such a beautiful chance to start over.

And also, like you just never know what you’re comparing yourself to. You’re only looking at the most glamorized version of people’s lives online, and sometimes it can be really easy to fall into that trap. So yeah, it is really crazy what that people don’t share. But when they do share.

Christa Innis: Yes, I know. It’s like that social media comparison game of like, you never really know what lives people are living because they wanna put up a facade or like, they just want things to look pretty.

And then that’s why like, I think a lot of times, like people are shocked with like celebrity divorces or celebrity breakups because they’re like, they look so perfect and beautiful and like blah, blah blah. And it’s like, well, we’re only seeing them as like a celebrity. You know, we’re seeing them in a movie or we’re seeing them on a red carpet.

We’re not like in their home. So we’re not, we’re only seeing what they wanna put out, you know? Right.

Celebrity Splits & Secret Friendships

Cora Lakey: Are we gonna talk about Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban?

Christa Innis: I was actually thinking that when I first said that, I was like, what? Because they’re like the og. They’ve together

Cora Lakey: a while. I know, I don’t know when this is gonna air, but in real time this is like breaking of like all the details coming out.

I can’t believe it. That’s a great example. You just never know what’s going on behind the scenes. They seemed so in love and dang, I’m shocked. I thought nothing would shock me anymore.

Christa Innis: But because I feel like in like celebrity or Hollywood years, even 10 years, even five years sometimes is like in celebrity marriages, that’s like a long time.

’cause it just happened so quickly. So they were going on 20 years almost. so have you heard anything else like about it? Like details come out.

Cora Lakey: There’s allegedly the Nashville community is saying there’s allegedly another woman that is involved. I don’t know how true that is, but I guess we’ll find out more.

It seems like day by day, but so today as we’re filming Nicole filed, which is interesting. Okay. So I think details are to come, but I can’t believe it. It’s so sad.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I know it. I had to take a double take. Wasn’t there? What other there was just another celebrity divorce, I feel like, where there was, oh, not divorce, a breakup.

Sean White and yes. Yes. I just saw that last week. And there’s all these cheating rumors about like he’s like dealt with cheating in the past. So I don’t know if it was directly on her, but now all these things are coming out. But again, this is all a legend. I don’t know, a legend, but all the players listening.

Yeah, they were always a shocking couple to me because I remember hearing things about him years ago that he was kind of like, full of himself. I mean,

Cora Lakey: I think just living in LA you hear stuff, So I’ve definitely heard some interesting stories about him as well. What man Who fumbles Nina Dore, you know, no matter what happened, it’s like, I know she seems amazing.

She’s so successful. Gorgeous, so funny. What a bummer. Yeah, I know. Yeah, that one shocked me too.

Christa Innis: Yeah. But then you, like I saw her on a back. Yeah, it’s true. Well, and then I just, I saw a post of her, she was like on a boat with like miles teller and like Zach Efron and someone else, and I was like, okay, she’s good, she’s fine.

Cora Lakey: You know what I find more interesting than the breakups is like the friend breakups, and I don’t know if there’s any substance there, but speaking of the tellers, and we have Taylor Swift’s album coming out on Friday. What’s going on there? What happened to Kelly Tellers? I don’t know. They’re just like, maybe they are.

But I’ve been thinking about that because Taylor’s obviously engaged.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Which was

Cora Lakey: another shock. I feel like we could just do like a top five wedding stories on this episode. Yeah. I swear so much is happening. But I’ve been thinking about who Taylor Swift bridesmaids would be, and they were super close at one point and now never see them together.

And like Yeah. I feel like Kelly would always post music in her tiktoks.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Cora Lakey: Now, no, he was even

Christa Innis: in one of her music videos.

Cora Lakey: Yes. Yes, she was. Yeah. Miles was too. So I’m like, what? What’s the T there? That’s what I wanna know.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I find that interesting too. well, and then the whole, like her and Blake Lively aren’t friends anymore, which is wild.

But also like, I feel like, I don’t know, it’s like once they get so big, it’s. They all have to have these really big egos probably. And it’s just like, don’t cross me. Don’t do, I don’t know, like, and then the lawyers get involved and it’s like messy and I’m sure there’s a lot of like secret friendships too that we don’t know about because like they just know the paparazzi’s gonna talk or media’s gonna talk and maybe there’s some that they wanna preserve to themselves.

Cora Lakey: Yeah. Protect your peace. Yeah, I completely understand that. Yeah. I feel like the tellers in particular are really good at like from what we see publicly, having those really good, substantial relationships. And they seem like they’re good friends, so love that they’re protecting Nina during this time. But yeah, that was a crazy one too.

Yeah. I mean, better, I don’t know your opinion on this, but I feel like it’s better to cut it off before the engagement if something’s going wrong than too late. And I think when you are. Yeah, just for, not even celebrity wise, but normal person wise, it’s so hard when financially you have so much involved in a wedding and you’re like, oh my gosh, I have to see this through, even though I don’t think it’s gonna work.

And yeah, it’s kind of sad.

Red Flags, Boundaries, and Toxic Wedding Tales

Christa Innis: Yeah. I’ve heard so many stories, like some have been sent to me that are like, they saw all the red flags during the engagement and the wedding planning, but then they felt like they had to keep going. Not necessarily just to like prove a point. But they were like, we put money in already, so like we just have to do it.

But like the one skit, which again, like by the time this comes out, I might be done with this skit, but this one skit I’m doing right now, it’s so long because of like the story that was sent to me and it’s like super toxic in-laws. Like I’m talking like the dad bought wedding dresses for the bride to try on from Amazon, and she was like, already said no, like, I’m going with my mom.

And he’s like, but these are cheaper, they’re more affordable. she’s like, I never said I need your help with a wedding dress. And then the mom like, bought, paid for the venue without talking to them first. Oh. So all this stuff, and I’m just thinking, I’m like, how do you like deal with something like that?

Like, I can’t even imagine you, I’m like, at least people like keep commenting. Like, they’ve gotta cancel the wedding, they’ve gotta cancel the wedding, but in the actual story, they get married. So I can only imagine what happens after. You know, it’s like, I don’t know, we hear all these like stories like growing up, it’s like Disney and all these, you know.

Things like that, where it’s the happily ever after. So we think you get to the marriage and that’s the finish line, but it’s like, no, that’s when your life continues or starts, or there’s so much more after it, and I feel like we’re just, yeah. Oh, like zoned.

Cora Lakey: Yeah. Oh my gosh. I mean, that is scary.

I feel like it just gets worse too when you have kids. I’m sure it’s like if they’re already poking the bear and kind of trying to assert what their boundaries are. Like once those people become grandparents, oh my gosh, you’re kind of locked in and Yeah, man, I don’t know. I feel like you marry your in-laws and that’s something that’s not talked about enough.

And yeah, if your spouse is not setting those boundaries with them, like, I mean, everyone has different boundaries, but you kind of have to gauge your comfortability with that. And I feel like I hear a lot of stories of men that don’t protect their wives with their in-laws. I mean mm-hmm. We all know some of my lore, but it’s crazy like what people think is appropriate and what isn’t.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yeah. And it’s like if you don’t put boundaries in place ahead of time, then they keep like sneaking in or it’s, what’s that phrase where it’s like if you give them an inch, they’ll take a mile. Right. So it’s like if you are just like you say yes to things here and there, we see it time and time again.

But yeah. You bring up a good point too. It’s like once babies come, if they choose to have kids, then that’s a whole, like if they were badgering wedding planning, just imagine when you create a life that has their DNA Yeah. They think they have a right to that child. It’s wild.

Cora Lakey: Yeah. I feel like something I’ve really learned just through this last year and through my own, I guessI’m in like my, not to sound woowoo, but like my healing journey, just actively going through a divorce and I think it’s really opened my eyes to the fact that a lot of people wanna be married, but they’re not necessarily ready for what marriage is.

And I think generationally as well, that can apply to your in-laws, right? Like how things were done 20, 30, 40 years ago isn’t acceptable now. Right. And it’s about setting the foundation well because the person that you marry is going to see your parents die. They’re gonna see the worst days of your life.

there’s like just so many things that happen, like so many seasons of life that they’re supposed to be. They’re with you for, and it’s kind of crazy that I think a lot of people just wanna check the box of saying they’re married, so they’re like, oh my God, I don’t have to do this anymore, rather than really committing to what a marriage is and

Christa Innis: mm-hmm.

Cora Lakey: I mean, yeah, I just, the confessions I get too, it’s like I really don’t wanna tell people what to do ’cause I only see a limited view of what’s happening, but Right. I don’t, I would be comfortable with certain situations that I hear about.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And you bring up a good point about like what was okay or maybe like people allowed more and our parents generation is not okay now I think a lot more of us are looking for more equal partnership and if they come from a more traditional background where it’s like, maybe it was the mom stayed home and the dad went to work and, she’s expected to clean, you know, do his laundry and do all the dishes and do all that and cook and maybe.

That’s not what their life looks like. And I’m like, I see that all the time where it’s like, you see like people post about well, I work a full-time job and my husband does, so like we should split the home stuff. And it’s like, that is like a whole thing that the older generation doesn’t get.

’cause they’re like, well no, that’s not her job. Her job is this. You know? and that’s hard for people to come to terms with,

Cora Lakey: and especially with like a situation with maybe in-laws that don’t respect your boundaries, it’s like, oh my gosh, it makes everything amplified when they’re making things 10 times worse by asserting those opinions if there are those fractures in your relationship.

So yeah,I can’t even imagine. Glad I’m not dealing with that right now, but Thinking about that for the next phase of life? For sure.

Christa Innis: Yes, definitely things you can like, look out for. It’s like, I will say, and again, people change like, you know, sometimes unluckily, like once you get married or like as you date people and stuff. I will say my in-laws have always been amazing. Like, I met them within a, I wanna say like the first five days of meeting my husband.

Cora Lakey: What?

Christa Innis: yeah. he was like so excited and they were like having like people over for a barbecue anyway. And he like brought me there and, I don’t know, I was never used to like parents like his, like, they were just like, so like, interested in like, getting to know me and they were like so welcoming and they were like, right off the bat were just like, really cool.

I got really lucky. So when I read these stories, I’m just like, how? I don’t know. that’s why I can’t comprehend how people like. Stay with someone with terrible, like in-laws. ‘ cause I just, I’m not confrontational. Like I can feel tension when it’s like bad. I just don’t like it. And so if every time I had to go like see my in-laws and I was like, oh, they hate me.

Like, I couldn’t imagine that would be Yeah. So uncomfortable. I feel for his brides and

Cora Lakey: Right. It’s always the guys that like bring nothing to the table that have the worst parents. You’re like, what? Like you’ll hear these stories Andre, their whole life. Yeah. what did they bring to the relationship?

It sounds like you’re doing everything.

Christa Innis: Yes. They did their laundry till he was 28 or whatever.

Gardener or the Rose: Redefining Love After Divorce

Cora Lakey: Exactly. Exactly. Oh my gosh. I feel like I heard a really good saying on TikTok where it was like every relationship, there’s a season where there you have to be like the gardener or the rose and the roles can change.

And I feel like that’s a really big thing in relationships that I’m definitely looking forward to. It’s like in some seasons of life, you’re fully the gardener and maybe someone else needs more support, but it’s the ability to shift those roles and have the flexibility to shift those roles that I think is so important.

So, I Yeah. Like, I think it’s possible. And I, I just wanna encourage anyone listening that maybe you’ve been through a broken engagement or a divorce. There’s resilience and positivity and so much growth that happens through that. And I feel like this has been like the hardest six months of my life, and like the loneliest, but it’s also been the most growth, right?

Like, I think when I was married, I almost felt like I, it was like six months or six years of just like, wanting change and wanting, my life to change should be different and just feeling stuck. Mm-hmm. And in the six months, I feel like I’ve grown more than I have in the last six years, which is insane.

So, can develop and grow and change and maybe things don’t work out, but there’s still lessons out of that and there’s love on the other side of that. It’s great, and I’m surprised, like I feel like I was really scared to start dating again. I’m definitely very lightly looking like, not like actively seeing anyone, but I thought people would judge me so much for being divorced.

And it’s literally like doesn’t even phase guys, they’re just like, oh, okay. Like, which I was really surprised by. So if anyone’s like thinking about it or they’re like, oh my God, I don’t know, like I kind of want a divorce, but I’m too scared. It’s like, it’s actually not as bad as I thought it would be. On the other side, it’s like hard.

But dating wise, I’ve been very pleasantly surprise

Christa Innis: Good. I’m sure you’re like learning a lot about yourself too, especially like first time living alone, and I feel like a lot of times we like move from one thing to the next without really like absorbing like, is this making me happy or do I wanna do something different?

And like, we just kinda like, like you said earlier, like check the boxes. And so I’m sure you’re like really able to like, ask yourself those questions and be like, I’m just in your era of learning about myself and what actually is important to me?

Cora Lakey: Yeah. Yeah.have a crystal clear definition of what I want in a partner and I’m just not gonna settle for anything less than that.

And I think as women we naturally talk ourselves out of things or we’ve, been coached to kind of like settle for things and it’s like we really don’t need to, we’re so multifaceted, we’re so successful on our own. A man should only add value to your life and should add to your life, period. He shouldn’t detract from be sucking your life force out.

Right. And mm-hmm. Especially when they’re the father of your children. That’s gonna be especially critical because it’s those make or break moments in life that like you’re really gonna see who they are. And so yeah, I feel like I’m really crystal clear on what I want in a partner and I feel like before I was like, maybe I want this, maybe I want that, maybe I’ll be flexible.

And I’m like, no, I can provide that for myself and

Christa Innis: mm-hmm.

Cora Lakey: I want a man to be welcome addition to my life, not to provide something for me, for my life, Yeah. That alone is such a big lesson that made it all worth it, I guess.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I feel like all along we were taught, like growing up to look for the wrong things.

And not, maybe that’s a little general, but you know what I mean? Like the movies where it’s like the Prince Charming, they’re just like talking about like they look this way, they, I don’t know, whatever it is. Like they have all this money or they have this certain job or they have this, you know, and it’s like, but what beneath the surface, can they actually offer us?

Are they gonna be there when we need them for something? Are they going to support us in our own dreams and goals? Are they gonna be a good father and actually want to like be hands on? Or are they just gonna expect you to, you know, like those kind of things are the things we have to like think about, I think ahead of time.

definitely. I just had to think like 12 times.

Cora Lakey: And I think all of those lessons, which is interesting, like all those stories that are presented to little girls is all about how they react. Mm-hmm to these guys, they’re just put in your lap and it’s like, okay, well that’s look a Quasimodo. Like, Esmeralda was so vain for not being attracted to him.

And it’s like, well, okay, but like why is it on her to react that way? Or like, I don’t know. There’s just so many stories like Beauty and the Beast, right? It’s like all about why are we molding ourselves and pivoting to what society’s expectations are? It’s so strange to me and why it’s always, okay, let’s see how she reacts let’s see if she’s vain.

Let’s see if she’s, gonna put up with this. And it’s like, no, Why is Bell being, put in a situation where she’s being verbally abused and kidnapped and now she has to be okay with spending her life with this person. It’s insane. She’s been pleaser. It’s prelim mess.

Christa Innis: Exactly. Just be the caretaker. Exactly. Take care of the guy that like kidnapped you and fall in love with him because he had told me. Nice for you. Yeah. Wow. Oh my God. Give him the benefit of the doubt. It’s fine.

Cora Lakey: Yeah. You’re expected to be perfect and beautiful and smart, poised and the whole package, but it’s okay if he is literally an abuser.

Christa Innis: Right.

Cora Lakey: Okay. You know? Yeah. Yeah. I think those,stories do get into psyche of little girls and you grow up and you are like, oh my gosh, I’m so behind ’cause I’m not, married at 30 and I don’t have a kid. And it’s like, oh my gosh. those things do get to you later in life, so Yeah. Silly as it might sound, it does add up.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yes. Everyone’s got their own timeline. okay, I added a couple, a new segment this time, but I know we also wanna talk really quickly before we get to that. Let’s talk about the new Bachelorette from Mom talk.

Cora Lakey: I’m so excited I’ll actually be watching.

The Bachelorette Twist We Didn’t See Coming

Christa Innis: Yeah. So what are your thoughts? Are you a big mom talk, secret Life?

Secret Lives? Yes. Secret Lives and Mormon wives a watcher. I’m huge.

Cora Lakey: Like I’m their biggest fan. I will move to Utah and join Mom Talk. I love that. Like that is the only thing that could get me to watch The Bachelor Bachelorette again. It was getting so stale and I feel like a, B, C just never listens when the audience gives them feedback, so finally they do something interesting.

What I thought was interesting, a couple points that people have brought up is like, there’s almost a double standard with Taylor where she wouldn’t have passed the background check to go on the show. Right? Mm-hmm. And that is a big thing. Even though the case was dismissed against her. And if anyone doesn’t know what we’re talking about, like you can look it up.

But that is an interesting point. Like are they gonna be more flexible with the contestants because of that? Another point people brought up is like, why not one of the other girls? What about Layla or Miranda? I feel like they’d be great.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Cora Lakey: So I don’t know, did they pick the right person? Is Miranda, did they not?

Christa Innis: Is Miranda the blonde that just joined season two? Okay. So I was like die hard, love season one. I just have not gotten around to watching season two, which I feel like has been out. I’m so behind. Oh, to my God. I think I watched the first like two episodes and I was like, okay. I just like have, I need to find the time.

But I. Loved Taylor season one. And then some of my friends say it kinda like changes. And now I like love Whitney, but I don’t really like see her. I just see her on social media and I see her on Dancing With the Stars when I catch her. And I just love her like vibe. I don’t know what it is. I love her vibe now.

I did not season one, so yeah, that is really interesting. It’s,

Cora Lakey: you

Christa Innis: know what,

Cora Lakey: it’s interesting how interchangeable the characters are, right, of like, who’s the villain, who’s not. that was the biggest takeaway I had from season two. Not to spoil for you, but like, yeah, it’s like you would think Whitney Clear cut villain and all of a sudden it’s like, oh nevermind.

She’s fine. And yeah, so it’s crazy. We just, I guess we’ll have to see what happens, but yeah, it’s gonna be a good,

Christa Innis: you know what I mean? It’s funny because when I first, to be all honest, when I first saw them announced Taylor as The Bachelorette because I saw Alex Cooper’s like teaser. And I saw it and I was like, what?

That’s kind of disappointing. ’cause I was like, all these women that aren’t in reality TV yet, that are like, want the chance, you know? But then I thought about it and what you said. I’m like, I don’t watch Bachelorette anymore. I have not watched in years because I was just so like bored of it and it just didn’t make sense for me.

Oh, did we freeze?

Okay. I’m trying to think of where I was talking about. we’re having internet issues for those of you listening. but yeah, I just feel like, like saying like you were potentially a little Yeah, so I was saying like, when I first saw it, I was like kind of shocked ’cause I was like, oh, there’s so many women that wanna go on that have not been in the reality TV world.

So I feel like when they like, carry people over from one show to the other, I’m just like, ah, come on. Like, there’s so many people out there that want a chance. But then when I thought about it, I’m like, I haven’t watched Bachelorette in years, Bachelor or Bachelorette, I don’t even know who season I watched last, honestly.

And I’m like, it was kind of boring and it needed a little excitement. So for TV entertainment purposes only, not for like morality or for like, whoever it should be. I was like, I can see Taylor being a good choice. ’cause I was like, people are gonna watch.

Cora Lakey: Mm-hmm. My problem is I am so cynical that I just assume anyone who wants to be a contestant on either of those shows wants social media fame. Mm-hmm. Which, nothing wrong with that, right? Like it’s a grind out here. But that’s what I’m really worried about with Taylor because that’s a big storyline on season two of Secret Lives of Mormon wives is she is.

When you get down to the nitty gritty, like she’s very pure of heart and she really doesn’t care about the monetary side of it. She just enjoys her life. She enjoys the opportunities that mom talk has provided, but she’s not, I guess, fame hungry, which is really refreshing and I worry that her announcement is going to attract.

The wrong type of guy that just wants fame. Mm-hmm. Because it’s already been a huge issue on the Bachelor franchise. And I feel like they know there is a built in huge following. And I mean, I’ve had negative experiences with Bachelor Bachelorette contestants, like on social media just being fame hungry, like people citing in my dms about collabs and just being super weird and I have like no following.

So I’m like, as someone with 4 million followers, like you do need to think of that stuff. It’s like, are these people just trying to be famous or do they genuinely want to be with her?

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Cora Lakey: It’s a little bit scary to think about.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I was just talking to someone a couple weeks ago on the podcast about like reality TV and what it’s turned into, and I feel like a lot of people do go on just to get that platform and be famous now.

Cora Lakey: But yeah, I’m sure even more so with someone that already has a big following, they’re gonna be these guys that are gonna be desperate for the limelight. Yeah, I agree. I agree. And it’s almost ruined reality TV because people are just going on reality tv, it seems like, to amplify their brands, but then they’re so scared of getting canceled.

They don’t act organic on tv. And I think that’s what’s been so refreshing about Taylor and the secret lives of Mormon wives girls, is they don’t care. So I really hope that doesn’t happen this season. I know, I feel like Taylor’s no BS and she’s going to see it right away, but I don’t know. I’m kind of scared for her.

The Bachelorette Confessions We Can’t Believe Happened

Christa Innis: Yeah, it’ll be interesting for sure. Okay. I wanna get into the next segment before we get too far. ’cause I know we’re already like far in, so you can let me know if you have a cutoff, there’s just a little like this or that section and then we’ll get to this week’s story if that’s cool.

Yeah. okay, so this next one is red flag versus green flag, and this is groomsman bridal party edition. So just say red flag or green flag based on the scenario. Okay. A bridesmaid gets drunk at the bachelorette and admits she hooked up with the groom right before he started dating the bride.

Cora Lakey: Oh my God. Definitely not a green flag. I don’t know. I mean, keeping that secret.

Christa Innis: Shitty and

Cora Lakey: then neither of them bringing it up again.

Christa Innis: Yeah,

Cora Lakey: oof. Want orange,

Christa Innis: that’s for sure. Yeah, I know. I’m like, I’m that person. I have so many questions because I’m like, why are you waiting until the bachelorette party and you never like told your friend like, Hey, by the way this happened, but I don’t know when the night, right.

Like right time would be like if they start dating and you’re like, Hey, just so you know. But then things are always would be weird, I feel like.

Mm-hmm.

Cora Lakey: Yeah. I guess it’s so dependent on the friend group and their comfortability, their situation. I mean, we were literally just talking about secret lives of Mormon wives, and that’s something actively happening on secret lives of Mormon wives.

Christa Innis: Really.

Cora Lakey: Layla dated one brother and dating another brother, and they’re both totally cool with it.

So. I guess it depends on what they dated. The same

Christa Innis: brother, they stated the same brother, or they just dated brothers?

Cora Lakey: No, Layla is dating. She’s dated the brothers now she’s dating the other brother. Yeah. So it’s like, that’s a weird situation, but that’s weird. Fine with it. Yeah, I, I wouldn’t be comfortable with that.

So, I mean, I guess it depends, but yeah, I feel like your husband or fiance keeping that from you and your friend, it’s like, why?

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Very

Cora Lakey: curious.

Christa Innis: Yeah. That’d be a little, maybe red. Yeah. And the timing would make me not happy. Okay. Next one. The maid of honor disappears mid bachelorette with a random guy taking the itinerary decorations and matching outfits with her.

Cora Lakey: Are these real?

Christa Innis: No, I just make ’em up. Like

Cora Lakey: these things have happened. Okay. I was like, oh my God, I need more background. psychotic. Why? Like, why red? That’s super strange.

Christa Innis: I should say. Like, why did she steal all this stuff? So I should say all of these are like inspired by story sent to us, but like we, like, obviously people don’t send me like, oh, here, this or that, but like, they’re inspired.

Like, someone sent me a story once where the maid of honor wanted to go meet up with a guy when they were at their bachelorette. So they are inspired, but like very loosely. Yeah.

Cora Lakey: Okay. Only a red flag. Like is he having a bachelorette party? Why do you need all that stuff right now?

Christa Innis: photos from the groom’s bachelor party leaked.

He ended up at a strip club. He swore he didn’t want to go to

Cora Lakey: red. Red. No. Unless it’s the hangover. And he literally is unconscious in the photos. No excuse. Yes.

Christa Innis: Bridesmaid’s phone lights up at 2:00 AM during the bachelorette and it’s the groom texting her just to vent a bridesmaid.

Christa Innis: What, what?

Cora Lakey: I guess if it’s his sister. Sure. Right. Or his cousin. But what, what’s wrong with these men? No,

Christa Innis: red. I’m like, these are so red. The groom secretly invited his ex to the bachelor party and the groomsmen let it slide.

Cora Lakey: Red reds of the mall. No. Ew. The thing is, I can so see something like this happening and no. No,

Christa Innis: I know. I’m sure a lot. Yeah. It’s funny too, ’cause like anytime I read like outlandish things like this, someone will comment like, yeah, that happened to me. That happened at a wedding I was at happened. so it’s like no matter how outlandish it is, like these things happen.

It’s just wild. like I had one where the mother-in-law invited the son’s ex to the wedding as her plus one. She’s like, I get a plus one. I can invite whoever I want i’s wild.

Cora Lakey: but anyone who would willingly do that on either side, the mother-in-law or the ex willing to go to the wedding, it’s just like, how bored are you in your life that you have to cause that?

Christa Innis: Yes.

Cora Lakey: Insane fear.

Christa Innis: Like everyone, anyone that does that knows that’s not okay. So you are asking for, you want attention, you want to make someone feel bad or you wanna be a bully or something. Like, there’s no, you can’t be like, oh, I didn’t know that was not acceptable. Like, come on. You know, that’s not okay.

It’s insane. Okay. I’ll do one more and then we’ll get into the story. Okay. the groom sister, who’s a bridesmaid complains nonstop about the cost and threatens to drop out every other week.

Cora Lakey: I almost turned like passive aggressive suite in those situations. Like a kill ’em with kindness type thing because you wanna turn it on them to offer them the out that you wanna give them. Like you don’t want them to be a bridesmaid. So you say, you know, I understand weddings are a huge financial burden.

If it doesn’t work for you, no worries. I can take that off your plate. Mm-hmm. Turn it on them. You voiced how uncomfortable you are. Like, I wanna be there for you. You should just enjoy it as a guest. Don’t worry about a gift. We just wanna have you there. But I get it.

Christa Innis: Yeah. That’s like the perfect way to respond to someone like that.

’cause again, it’s like they’re probably just doing it for attention or they’re unhappy about something. So that’s the best way to do it. Be like, hey, totally understand. If you don’t wanna be a part of it, that’s fine. You’ll still be there and all the wedding photos, whatever. Yeah.

Cora Lakey: Yeah. Perfect. That’s all you can do.

It’s hard in those situations ’cause you also wanna be fair and equitable to your other bridesmaid too. Mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: So it’s

Cora Lakey: like, okay, if I’m paying for this one person’s way, it’s like. Then I really have to pay for everyone else’s way too to make it fair. So it’s kind of hard. You can’t really cherry pick situations like that.

So you kind of do have to lay down the hammer, I feel like. Yeah, definitely. Even if it’s mean, sorry.

Take a Shot, Take a Seat… and Then Everything Went Off the Rails

Christa Innis: Yeah. Boundaries aren’t mean. They’re just being firm. Yeah. I love it. all right. Let’s blind react to this week’s wedding story submission. This is a true story that someone sent to me, so here we go.

Feel free to stop me at any point, or we’ll just kind of react along the way. Okay. “We knew right away this wedding wasn’t going to be boring. At the top of the aisle, there was a big sign that read, take a shot and take a seat. About seven years ago, my husband and I had just moved into our new house. On weekends, we picked up part-time jobs at a local wedding venue, easy money and something for me to do while my husband worked shifts at his full-time job. At that point, I had already been in the wedding industry for a while, teaching couples their first dances and coordinating a few weddings for friends. So working at a venue felt pretty natural at this wedding. This one is always the story I tell because you just can’t make this stuff up. The day started out like any other staff arrived. We set up and everything was on schedule. The ceremony was supposed to be outside, but because of rain we had to move it under the covered reception area. The guest list was about 120 people, pretty standard for that venue. As we were setting up, we noticed a big bag of Fireball shots next to the sign that said, take a shot and take a seat. The bride and groom wanted every guest to grab one before the ceremony began.” So this is a party. They wanna start the party off early. Wow. I also love that this is a wedding vendor story because we don’t get a ton of them.

It’s normally like the bride or a bridesmaid. So this is like a cool different perspective. Okay, it says, “as we worked, one guest caught our attention. He wore bright coral pants and a loud floral shirt. For the sake of the story, let’s call him Derek. Derek showed up nearly two hours early and went straight to the bar asking for a drink.

Now the venue policy was no drinks until cocktail hour, so we politely told him no. But Derek did not like that answer. He marched off to find the groom and somehow convinced the wedding party to give us permission to serve him early. Not exactly standard protocol, but when the couple says yes, you follow their wishes.”

I’m wondering if they’ve standard protocol because of people like this. So I’m like, how did that guy convince them to change that? It’s probably not a good idea.

Cora Lakey: as a former wedding vendor, I question that honestly. ’cause you know those insurance contracts, like there’s no way if that guy fell down the stairs or something, they wouldn’t be like, well, protocol, it changes.

Like, no.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I know. I’m like, those are in place for a reason.

Cora Lakey: Mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: I’m just questioning this venue at this point. ’cause Yeah, with the insurance stuff, they’re very regimented legally. I’ve certainly never heard of that, but

yeah.

Cora Lakey: What up with this venue? Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. All right. It says “by picture time we noticed the groom was already intoxicated, so now the groom is already drunk.

So this Derrick guy’s drunk. The groom is drunk because they have shots everywhere. The ceremony was at 4:00 PM and when guests arrived, sure enough, they each grabbed a fireball shot before taking their seats. The ceremony went on, but the bride looked clearly irritated that our groom was already drunk.”

Well, yeah. I wanna know whose idea it was to have the shots at the wedding. You know, like, is water What?

Cora Lakey: You know what? Like what did you expect? Like a, a, a. Oh my gosh. That’s insane. Yeah. What a nightmare for a venue. Oh my

Christa Innis: gosh. Right. Afterward, “we flipped the space for the reception. At this point, the bar officially opened. Derek made a big deal about how he could finally drink now that we weren’t holding out on him. Dinner was served, dances were danced, speeches were made. And you could already tell the group was sloppy, getting sloppy fast.” See, that’s just a problem like when you, I get wanting to have a party and have fun, but when you already know people have drinking problems or can’t control their liquor, and then you hand out shots before the wedding, before pictures, it’s like people are not gonna make it to the end of the night. Like not gonna be good.

Cora Lakey: I feel like a lot of venues have no hard liquor policies because of this, right? Because accidents happen and people get super drunk and there’s drama. Or at least like the venue has to serve it. I think. So again, questioning this venue a little bit, like why are they allowing this?

Christa Innis: Yeah. Why are they allowing this? And then breaking the rules. And again, I really wanna know whose idea it was to the shots, because it sounds to me like the groom maybe has some kind of drinking problem, but like why would the bride agree to having shots? Or maybe he’s like, oh, I’ll be fine. Like don’t worry.

It’s like, mm. Will you, will you be okay? Yeah. I mean, even my venue,

Cora Lakey: I was shocked because we had a no heart liquor policy, I think. ’cause it’s like Napa Sonoma. I’m not sure if that’s the whole area, but our venue did and people snuck in canteens and they snuck in vodka and stuff. And I was like, how much are these people drinking?

My God. Like why do they need this? Know what I mean? And it’s something I hear at every wedding and it’s true. It’s like you can’t rely on the fact that people are going to be a hundred percent sober. Cra. It’s a huge issue in this country, obviously, but it’s crazy how even on your wedding day you do have to think of stuff like that.

Like all the logistics.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I know. So you can’t control what everyone drinks before the wedding. You would just hope people that are in the wedding, especially your groom, is like, okay, I am not, I’m gonna wait to drink until after to like dancing. But yeah, okay. Oh my God, I just, okay. It says, “then came cake cutting. The groom was so intoxicated that he couldn’t stand on his own.” Oh my gosh. He can’t even stand, stand up. I would be really actually marrying this person right now.

Cora Lakey: And isn’t the cake cutting? I mean, I guess it depends on the wedding, but before or after the first dance. Because was he able to do his first dance?

Christa Innis: I know. I feel like it’s typically when you first walk out, sometimes it’s right before dances, but either way. Yeah. How is he going to, he’s not gonna be doing that. What a

Cora Lakey: nightmare.

Christa Innis: My gosh. “The venue owner had to literally hold him upright just to get one decent photo and a slice of cake.” The venue owner is holding him up.

Oh my God. ” The bride she broke down crying and ran off.” Oh my gosh. I feel so bad for her. That is like, it makes me wonder too, like what signs were there ahead of time? Did she know he had some kind of drinking problem or like were his groomsmen, like the culprits and they were, I mean obviously no one can like make you, but were they like bringing shots in and just like pouring, like doubles?

Like it makes me really wonder.

Cora Lakey: Oh, that’s awful. I still like, for anyone who listening who hasn’t worked in the wedding industry, like the venue is liable if anything happens to the couple on site, and especially if people are driving drunk, there’s investigations that go into that stuff. And if they can track that happens at the venue, the venue can be in huge trouble.

Right. So that is really concerning me. Again, third time I’m questioning this venue. ’cause What do you mean the venue holder is like owner’s holding him upright. Like, why are we not calling paramedics so we don’t get sued? Like this is crazy.

Christa Innis: Yeah. There is a lot of liability that to think about.

I feel like as a venue. Yeah, I don’t know. It says, “not long after a little boy maybe six or seven, walked up to the bar and asked for a beer. For who? We asked. For my dad. He’s the groom.” So now he’s sending his child to the bar to get alcohol for him. Oh my God. Why are they still serving? Why is the wedding still going on?

I, he just like passed out somewhere. This is wild. Where is this? We need more details. We told him we couldn’t serve minors. “The boy walked away, went back to his dad, and then the groom stormed over yelling that we wouldn’t give his son a beer.” In what world do you live in where you can just have your son walk to the bar and get a beer for you?

“We explained we can’t serve anyone underage, no matter the situation. And he said, well, he gets beers from me at home all the time. Then grabbed his own drink and walked away. All of the staff just looked at each other like, did that just really happen?” This guy sounds a real piece of work.

Cora Lakey: This poor staff. Hopefully this gives people some grace for wedding vendors and what they go through, because this is unfortunately not uncommon.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yikes. Oh no. Okay. Then she goes, “and then there was Derek at one point we saw him crawling around on the dance floor, why his glass eye had popped out.” So, where do you live? Where is this? What the hell? it says why, why does he,

Cora Lakey: I hope this man’s okay.

Christa Innis: He’s just drunk, crawling around on the floor, looking for his eye. God, it says he picked it up, rinsed it off, and popped it right back in. Um, thank you. You’re done with a fireball.

Cora Lakey: I love it.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Cora Lakey: Priorities are straightforward, man. Clearly.

Christa Innis: Later he climbed onto a chair, stroking the linens hanging from the ceiling. Lantern in one hand, swaying like he was in his own private concert. Why is no one stopping him?

Cora Lakey: Where is his wife? She has stormed off. Why are we not looking for her?

Christa Innis: This is the Derek guy, the guest.

Oh. Oh my God. Wait, I thought

Cora Lakey: that,

Christa Innis: okay, that makes sense.

Cora Lakey: Who are these people need to be studied? Oh my God.

Christa Innis: by the end of the night as he staggered out to his car, why are people just watching him drive to his car? Someone noticed he had lost the glass eye again. This time in the horse pasture next to the venue.

That sentence is very troubling to me because it sounds like he drove himself home and presumably with one eye drunk in with one eye, with one

Cora Lakey: eye drunk. You know what? this venue needs to be shut down immediately. Immediately. Yeah. You guys are, our wedding venue is watching this go down, not calling the police.

Christa Innis: Yeah. What’s

Cora Lakey: going on?

Christa Innis: Well, these drunk people getting into their cars, like, come on, what are we doing here? she said, the next day, I have no idea what happened. I never saw Derrick again and never saw the couple again either. But let’s just say when you work weddings, you really do see it. All the good, the bad, and the downright unbelievable.

And this wedding was definitely one for the books. I big, big problem at weddings. But this just sounds like, people like this ruin it for everybody else. This poor bride ran away crying. We don’t know what happened to her. are her And the groom still together beats me. I couldn’t be with someone after that.

Cora Lakey: No. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I have no words. I would like an update on this one if you can find one. Maybe if you’re a vendor, try to access the records,

Christa Innis: Okay. This will be my hope. We’re gonna read this story. The story’s gonna come out, the bride is gonna hear the story, and she’s gonna be like, that’s about me.

I need to write my perspective. Or maybe a bridesmaid so it’s not like directly. And then we can get a full update. So I need a glass. Hi. Talk to your thing.

Cora Lakey: Who could forget the glass eye and the horse pasture? Wow. Yeah, I know.

Christa Innis: I feel like those are some good clues. so people that are listening, I mean, people find everyone on TikTok, right?

Cora Lakey: I mean, they find the Coldplay couple, they find, you know. People can find the glass eye guy. Maybe he will write. Reach out to John. Yes. Let us know that, that you’re alive and well. and maybe stop drinking and driving.

Christa Innis: Yeah. With

Cora Lakey: a glass eye. You know, I’m gonna hope maybe look out for others, if not.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I’m gonna hope he was just walking to his car to get like an overnight bag and then get in the Uber or something. I’m just gonna hope that was me too. Yeah. You say positive.

The Wedding Confession Session

Yes. Okay. I know we’re a little over time. I’m just gonna end with some confessions. People always send me some wild confessions, so here we go.

This one says,I just wanted one of my sisters as my maid of honor. “My mom said all five of my siblings had to be in the wedding.” I mean, I guess it depends on how close you are but if it’s like, but boys and girls and your grooms not close to your brothers, how you can’t really make him have them.

Right?

Cora Lakey: It depends on if mom’s paying, right? I guess unfortunately, if mom’s paying mom gets a say, but oof. Yeah, that’s tough. I have a bunch of siblings and yeah, I think I had two sisters is bridesmaids. But yeah, we all vary in ages and closeness, so there was no way. So yeah, I think something I’ve really learned as I’ve gotten older is our parents’ decisions aren’t necessarily our decisions and that’s okay.

And like if you aren’t as close to some siblings, It’s not your fault, Yeah. Especially if there’s like huge age gaps if you have five siblings. I’m assuming so. yeah. Yeah. But don’t accept money if you aren’t comfortable with something like that. For sure.

Christa Innis: Yes. But I also agreed too, or also think too, that like money’s not an indicator of them being able to control has to be given as a gift.

But, to your point too, is like if they are making it clear, because I’m giving you money, I make these decisions, then yeah, we’re gonna like, no, we don’t need your help then, and we’re gonna just do a small wedding.

This one says, “I found my dream dress on Etsy, and my mom said I couldn’t get it because my back fat would hang out.” Oh, what?

Oh, oh my God. I’m, I’m so

Cora Lakey: sorry. Yeah.

Christa Innis: That would be an uninvite for me. Like, yeah. Someone that’s supposed to make you feel good and beautiful, and then make a comment about your body.

Cora Lakey: That’s awful. Oh my God. And you’re gonna be thinking about that your whole wedding day now too. Which is so sad. No matter what dress you end up wearing.

Christa Innis: Ugh. Yeah. What a terrible mom. I know. Like, why would you make that comment? Like, Ugh, I hate that. this one says “my wedding was rushed. My dad was dying. Mother-in-law told me, wait for him to die and plan a proper event.” That is terrible. What. Why does the mother, oh my God, that’s okay to say

Cora Lakey: Evil family members. What is this? Oh, that’s awful. Of course you want your dad at your wedding.

Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s awful.

Christa Innis: Like the fact that she’ll have those memories and like pictures with him, like, oh my gosh, that’s terrible. Okay. let’s do one more. “My stepmom tried to guilt me into having my abusive alcoholic bio Dad, walk me down the aisle.”

Oh my God. I mean I feel like that just goes back to like, don’t do anything that you don’t wanna do for your wedding. anything especially that makes you uncomfortable or not happy on your wedding day.

Cora Lakey: I walked myself down the aisle ’cause my dad passed away. And yeah, I feel like I had a, similar situation where people were just giving me.

Crap about it. And I was just like, this is my wedding. Why does anyone have to give me away? It’s such an old fashioned tradition, and if you wanna do that, that’s fine, but it should be representative of what you want. Whether that’s giving yourself away or someone you’re equally close to even a friend, even sisters.

Mm-hmm. People walk their dogs down the aisle like that doesn’t have to be the tradition. Like no.

Christa Innis: Right. Yeah. I know I took that sentence out of our wedding about like, do your parents give you away? ’cause I was like, I’ve been out on my own, like for years at that point. My now husband, but like, we’d already been living together for like four or five years at that point.

So I’m like, they’re not giving me away. I’m my own person out in the world already. You know? So that just felt like a weird dated phrase for me. Yes.

Cora Lakey: Yeah. There’s a lot of data traditions in weddings that I think we need to analyze, and if your family’s giving you crap about it, it’s like, why do they need to be there?

You know what I mean? Like your family should be making you feel good on your wedding day, and if they’re not and they’re causing drama, it just seems like a lot. I mean, it’s just the tale is old as time with families causing drama at weddings. It’s just like analyze your closeness with these people and it’s good to know for the next phases of life of like, okay, check.

I don’t need Aunt Susie at this or that event because she’s gonna cause drama. So it’s good to know, but it still sucks.

Christa Innis: Yeah, no, for sure. That is wild. I feel for all these brides and grooms and whoever else I have to deal with, that kind of stuff because it’s just, learning boundaries I think is like a really big thing.

And When you realize that having a boundary is not mean, it’s just making yourself more, I don’t know, maybe at peace or something. I don’t know the right term, but like it’s just taking care of yourself. Having boundaries and they’re not mean because as they’re recovering people, pleaser, I feel like for the longest time I was like, oh, boundaries are so mean.

I can’t have boundaries. But like it’s healthy. Like you need to have boundaries.

Cora Lakey: I think the people who push your boundaries always have the strongest boundaries, which I find very ironic and something that I’ve learned in the last several months. It’s like, why can these people have the strongest boundaries in the world? Or just walk all over me, but then when I push back, they act like it’s the biggest deal in the world.

It’s very interesting. That’s a’s very interesting. So start to analyze that, those relationships.

Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s almost like the opposite where they like weaponize the boundary, right? Like they are able to have the strong boundary, but they don’t respect the same for other people. So that’s,

Cora Lakey: yeah. I’m a big proponent of, you need to give the equal energy that you’re capable of taking.

And I definitely had some situations with my last relationship and like in-law stuff where things were, said to me that I would never, if I said that back, like it would be World War iii. Right? And it’s like, why do you think that’s acceptable to speak to me that way? And it’s always so interesting you see.

Adults emotional maturity. When you do give it back to them where you do question their behavior, you start to see a lot of waterworks and a lot of triangulation and things like that. And I think it’s hard with these family situations, but they do make you stronger on the other side of them, and they do force you to have those boundaries, even though it sucks to have to have them, they’re there for a reason.

That’s a buzzword for a reason. So

Christa Innis: yeah, boundaries are like everywhere now, I feel like. And it’s just about like using them in the right way to, you know, ah, bridge a gap, I think.

Cora Lakey: And your wedding day is the right way and the right day. So a big proponent, do what you want at your wedding. Yeah. Who cares what anyone says online in real life, your family.

Otherwise it’s for you. And think about why you’re doing it for the right reasons.

Christa Innis: Yes, absolutely. I love that. Well, thank you so much for coming back on Cora. It was so great hanging out with you. Sorry for all the internet issues. I don’t know what’s going on over here. I gotta figure that out.

Thanks for having me

Cora Lakey: again. Let’s do it a third time.

Christa Innis: Yes, you are always welcome back on. I’ve got like so many stories that are sent to me. So like me, we’re just constantly rolling them out. So anytime you wanna come back on. Love it. Well again for anybody I would love to. Awesome. Well, again, for anybody that’s listening, where can they follow you?

and what kind of content and all that good stuff do they see?

Cora Lakey: Yeah, you can follow me on TikTok at Cora Lakey or my Instagram, Cora Lakey. I think different handles since the last time I was here. And yeah, I talk about my life kind of healing from, starting over. I’m started over at 30 and kind of talking about all the challenges, all the changes that I wasn’t expecting.

So it’s been a wild ride and would love to have you along. Awesome. Well

Christa Innis: thank you again for coming on, Cora.

by Christa Innis

Venmo Requests, Demanding In-Laws & A Bride’s Outrageous Ask

What’s worse: your dad bailing on your wedding and then sending you a Venmo request for the deposit, or your mother-in-law going on vacation with his ex?

Yeah… welcome to this week’s chaos. I’m kicking things off with a brand new game: red flag vs. green flag wedding edition. Spoiler alert, locking up guest phones? HARD no. Then I’m diving headfirst into one of the messiest three-wedding family sagas you’ve ever heard. We’re talking divorces, mistresses, and family photos that should’ve come with a seating chart and a referee.

And of course, I wrap it up with your confessions, the kind that remind us all that where there’s a wedding, there’s always, always drama.

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month!

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

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Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

01:22 Wedding 911 Situations

03:22 Dress Drama and Advice

05:26 Red Flag vs Green Flag: Wedding Edition

10:49 Wild Wedding Stories

16:57 Dress Shopping Drama

19:11 Mother-in-Law’s Bridal Shower Antics

20:44 Wedding Day Chaos

23:53 Three Weddings, One Family Drama

30:11 Confessions from Instagram

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

Red Flag vs. Green Flag – We rapid-fire hot takes on wedding behaviors, from cash bars to late-night Taco Bell.
The Phone Lock-Up Debate – Why banning phones is fine, but locking them away is a serious overstep.
Dad’s Venmo Request – A father skips his daughter’s wedding… then asks for the venue money back. Seriously.
Three Weddings, Endless Chaos – One family, three ceremonies, and a whole lot of awkward divisions.
Mistress to Missus – The audacity of a dad marrying the woman he cheated with and expecting everyone to play along.
The Peacekeeper Sister – Navigating sibling loyalties when parents’ drama overshadows the big day.
Confessions Corner – Listeners spill about future in-laws inviting exes, surprise proposals, and engagement slip-ups.
Storytelling Skits – Why I am ready to turn messy dad drama into my next viral skit.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“Sometimes you don’t need a seating chart—you need a family tree just to keep up.” – Christa Innis
“It’s not my favorite flag, but it’s not red either. Maybe it’s beige?” – Christa Innis
“You skipped the wedding and then sent a Venmo request? Sir, be serious.” – Christa Innis
“Locking up phones at a wedding? No. I need to know if my kid is still alive.” – Christa Innis
“Whoever invented late-night wedding snacks deserves a Nobel Prize.” – Christa Innis

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of, Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host Christa, or if you can see me right now, Jules, if you can’t see me, I am wearing the outfit from the I don’t crew. the character Jewels. So that’s the problem sometimes with, between these skits is then I associate these shirts with different characters and.

I like, every time I like pick it up, I’m like, oh, that’s that one character from that skit. That’s how I feel about the Ferris and Sloan shirt. Like I’ve barely worn it outside of that skit now, because I feel like if I wear it somewhere, it feels like I’m, I don’t know, secretly like promoting the book and I’m not trying to, it’s funny how I just connect it anyways.

What a way to start the episode. kind of just jump in right in like that. Welcome back for another episode of some crazy stories that we are gonna get into in just a minute. Try to switch things up because I like to keep things interesting. We’re gonna start off this week with we’re gonna call them wedding 9 1 1 Situations that people have sent me as a new segment.

And, from time to time people send me, on social media some things they’re going through. Maybe they’re in a wedding, maybe it’s a friend situation. And I’m no expert, but I’m just gonna give you my own personal advice, from the hot seat here, I guess. So if you wanna send me any of your own wedding 9 1 1, you can email me at hello@christainnis.com and use the subject line wedding 9 1 1.

So let’s dive into these.

Wedding 911: Honeymoon Bills & Bridesmaid Dress Drama

This first one says, “My bride friend just announced she wants the bridal party to chip in to cover her honeymoon. What? As a gift on top of dresses, travel, and the shower. This feels like too much. I just wanna be supportive, but I also don’t wanna go broke.” Yeah, that’s pretty, it’s pretty normal.

” How do I set a boundary without causing a fallout?” Okay. I feel like we’ve talked about this a lot of times before on the podcast. If a friend is asking you to do too much, like having you pay for the honeymoon is not a normal thing for a bridesmaid. You should not have to pay anything for the wedding.

Yes. You know, if you wanna go to a bachelorette party, sure. Depending on the person. Sometimes the dress you’ll pay for shoes. But those should be communicated ahead of time. The honeymoon you are not even a part of this is the new bride in groom. This is their trip to handle and take care of. If they can’t afford it, they shouldn’t go on one.

Now if they do one of those like honeymoon funds and you wanna chip in on that, sure. If you give ’em a gift of the wedding and they use part of that, sure. But it should not be a standard. It should not be like you have to as a bridesmaid, pay for this if she doesn’t understand and. She tells you like, this is what you have to do.

I’d say, okay, well I’m gonna set this one out and if she says, don’t come to my wedding, then you say, all right, well we had a good run. Again, it’s always easier from the outside, but that is a ridiculous request for someone to have.

Okay. Next. Dress drama. “The bride picked bridesmaid, a bridesmaid dress color that looks terrible on me. It completely washes me out. I asked if I could wear the same dress in a slightly different shade, but she said no, because she wants perfectly matching pictures. Do I just suck it up for one day or is it fair to push back?” Okay. It’s gonna ultimately depend on your relationship and how important this person is to you? Me, personally, I would just suck it up. I’ve worn so many dresses that wash me out. I’m a very pale person. I don’t do spray tan. I don’t do tanning anymore. So I’m pale. I’ve had to wear dresses that were like. Really, really light pink. I’ve had to wear dresses that were like a top and they end up looking, they look fine.

Like once you get your hair and makeup done, it works. It’s fine. I would never tell a bride to pick a different bridesmaid dress. That’s me personally. if you’re not super close, maybe just be like, this isn’t for me. But if you agreed to be in their wedding because you care about them and they care about you. I’d say just suck it up for a day. If you’re gonna match all the other girls, it’s gonna look fine. it’ll be great. I think dress color is one thing where like I’d be like, suck it up. If it’s a style, maybe that makes you uncomfortable, maybe it’s like a backless dress or really low cutting or form fitting, and you’re like, I don’t like that for my body, then that’s something I think I could push back a little more on and be like, “Hey, I’m not comfortable in that

dress.” A color? I don’t know. Tell me what you guys think, but for me, I wouldn’t push back.

Okay. Like I said, we’re gonna start doing these from time to time, so if you have a dilemma or something that you want addressed, email me. hello@kristaennis.com and use the subject line wedding 9 1 1. You can also use my same Google form and just select, there’s a different option there. You can, filter it through. \

I do get dms on social media. It’s just like, it’s so hard because they’re not filtered through. So if I read it and I’m like, it’s a busy day and I don’t forget to unmark it or mark it up, then I lose the story and then it’s gone. I’ll be like, oh my gosh. Someone sent me a really good story and I just completely forget. So if I see one in there, I’ll send you guys the link and I’ll be like, “Hey, this is a great story. Can you just send it to me in the Google form?”

Red Flag or Green Flag? The Wedding Edition

Okay. Next up, this next segment is going to be called. Red flag versus green flag wedding edition. So we’ve been doing the hot takes lately on the rapid fire. So this is like a new kind of style of that.

“Bride asked bridesmaids to dye their hair for the wedding.” That’s a red flag. No, we don’t need to do that. This is quick, quick, quick, quick.

“Mother-in-law insists on wearing white because it’s her son’s day too.” No red flag. “Couple charges? Yes. For drinks at a cash bar?” Well, a cash bar is charge. So are we just saying, is it cash bar, red flag? I wouldn’t say that’s a red flag. It’s not my favorite flag, but I wouldn’t say it’s red. It’s not a green flag though.

Okay. “A groom’s friend proposes during the reception.” Red flag.

“Couple doesn’t allow plus ones unless you’re engaged or married.” I get it, but I’m gonna lean more towards red flag because an engagement or marriage does not determine the relationship. I could hear, I could see maybe like if you’re like long-term relationships, you’ve been together over a year. But you could be together for a week and get engaged. So I just, I’m not someone that’s like, engagement means they’re like solid. I mean, marriage doesn’t always mean that either. So yeah, I would say that’s a red flag.

“Bridesmaid drops out a week before the wedding because of cost that’s a green flag I think. I don’t know if it’s be, should be a green or a red flag. It’s not a red flag because if she cannot afford something, like maybe just too many things are adding up. She felt empowered enough or strong enough to be able to drop out. I think that’s a green flag. Hopefully it doesn’t affect the bride and they’re just, they can move on past it and they’re okay. but. I wouldn’t say that’s a red flag at all. If someone came to me and they’re like, I can’t afford to be in your wedding, I would be like, what can I do to keep you in the wedding? Let’s like nix this. How can I help with this? I just want you to be a part of it. I don’t care about the cost.

“Couple has a phone free ceremony and locks up guest phones.” That’s a red flag. Phone free ceremony. Yes, absolutely. Put the phones away. They have professional photographers. Just don’t have it out. Please, listen. But locking up a guest phone is a red flag because here’s the thing, as a mom, and just in case of emergency, I feel like people should be able to have their phones on them. That just sounds to me like you don’t trust someone that’s coming to your wedding you are like, we’re locking up everybody’s phone. Like, no, let’s not do that.

” Parents of the bride invite extra guests without telling the couple.” Red flag.

” Best man roasts the bride in his speech.” Red flag, unless he’s equally roasting. Yeah, that’s a red flag. And you’re like, good friends.

“Couple serves fast food like Taco Bell or Chick-fil-A as a late night snack.” That’s a green flag. I love when I’m at a wedding and they have a late night snack and it’s like Wendy’s or Pizza or Taco Bell. I went to one one time and it was in this really cool, like old, I don’t even remember what it was, not a museum. I just remember the structure was so cool. Like there was up the stairs and then like the different like rooms or the different, I’m describing this so poorly. It was in Ohio. The different rooms were like had different things in it. So like one room would have a late night snack, one would have dancing, then there was dancing downstairs. It was just like a cool old building. And I remember them mentioning a late night snack and I kept trying to find where it was and I ended up missing it. And I was like, what was the late night snack? And they were like, it was curly fries and like Wendy’s frosties. And I was like, oh, that sounds amazing. Right now I’m all for late snack. Whoever came up with it and started doing that. Thank you. I remember the first wedding I was at that had one. I was like, what? What’s happening right now? What are, why are we getting late night food? Okay. I don’t always finish my dinner. Like, it depends on what’s going on, but like, there’s so much going on that day, so I just get hungry later on. So late night snacks good.

One more thing I forgot to mention earlier. If you guys didn’t know, I now post these all on YouTube and I know like I’m not one to sit and watch a full video on YouTube that’s like, over. 10 minutes. But it’s a great place to go for discussion. So if I ever like, bring something up in the conversation here, or you wanna give some feedback on something, or you have a question about something or you wanna like add more to the discussion, please go to YouTube and comment, because I feel like there’s so many times when I’m listening to podcasts that I’m like, where can I like say my thoughts on the matter? And like talk to other people about it. So please do that. I love seeing the discourse. I pop in the comments all the time to see what’s going on, and I love seeing what you guys have to say.

The Mother-in-Law Who Made the Wedding All About Herself

All right, guys, we’ve got two stories today, so let’s get into them before I able too much, because these are wild. Okay. Story #1.

“My fiance and I had been together for four years when he proposed. Since my dad passed away, he moved in with me less than a year into our relationship. So we were serious about building a life together from the start. My relationship with his mom was okay. At first, we’re just different people. Personality wise, she’s loud and extroverted, and I’m more introverted and struggle with loud environments. About a year before he proposed, she kept making more passive aggressive comments towards me. Ooh, okay. I brought this up to my fiance and when things got worse, he asked her about it. Her only explanation was that I was rude because I looked at my phone while playing a 1980s Trivial Pursuit game. She insisted we play. Wait, what? She got mad ’cause you looked at your phone. She forced me to join so the teams would be even I hadn’t wanted to play. So during the long turns, I scrolled social media and did some online shopping.”

Oh my gosh. So she considers that rude. That’s like a generational thing too, though. Like the judgment for being on the phone. I know it’s hard sometimes, like you pick up your phone, you wanna like scroll social media, different generations see that as rude. I personally don’t like when I’m somewhere with someone and they start picking up their phone. I’m like, excuse me, I’ll, I’ll keep talking when you’re done. Like, it’s kind of awkward, but if there’s a big group of people and you just pick up your phone here and there and look at it. Sure. Again, I’m not criticizing this person. I’m just saying personally, if I was playing and I kept noticing someone look at their phone, I’d be like, am I boring you?

“Most of her comments revolved around me making him do things that we already had mutually agreed on. At first, I just ignored it. When he proposed, we were so excited to start planning because of my dad’s passing, I had some inheritance money. We decided, I used part of it for the wedding, so it’d feel like my dad was helping pay and we cover the rest ourselves. We never asked anyone for money, nor did we share this detail with our families. We toured a local event center. With my mom and his parents. The venue handled tables, chairs, linens, food, and bartending, a perfect low stress package. We signed the contract and put down a deposit.” I love, lemme just say, I love when it like a venue is like, we’re gonna do this, this, this, and this. You don’t have to like go to a hundred different vendors. “ A few weeks later, my fiance came home after visiting his parents. His mom had told him, just so you know, we’re not putting any money down for the wedding, so don’t expect us to.“

Don’t you love that, like aggressive, like coming at you? Like I have seen this happen so many times in these stories, where people just like go after somebody. And it’s wild because it’s like. They’re thinking, they’re expecting them to give them money and it’s like they haven’t said one thing about that.

“He explained that we’re paying for everything ourselves and had never asked them for anything. His dad chimed in saying they just wanted him to be aware. Weird, but we shrugged it off. Okay. I later found a bridal expo and thought it would be a great chance to explore vendors. Since my maid of honor lived outta state, I invited my mom and my two other bridesmaids, my fiance and his mom to help her feel included.” See, this is where I’m always like. I feel bad for these brides ’cause I get it. That’s gotta be really uncomfortable. ’cause you’re like, I want her to feel included. This is a special time. But if she’s already making weird comments to you and about the wedding, I don’t have high hopes for her coming to your dress shopping, that’s all. Okay.

“We drove into cars, my bridesmaids road with my mom. I went with my fiance and his mom.” Wait. Oh, this is a bridal expo. Okay, got it. I was, I don’t know why I was thinking it was like a dress fitting. Okay. ” On the way she started grilling him about who he planned to invite from his side. When he mentioned a cousin he recently connected with, she snapped. You can’t invite him. Take him off the list. I told my fiance he should be able to fight who he wants. But to appease his mom, he agreed to leave the cousin out.” I, they already said straight up, they’re not helping with anything. They’re not paying for anything, so they cannot dictate who you’re inviting to the wedding. And if you are close to someone, you should be able to invite them. Like, that’s ridiculous. Oh my gosh.

“At the expo, she immediately grew, grew annoyed at how slow we were moving through the crowded rows. She kept rushing ahead, arms crossed, waiting against the walls. My fiance went to stand with her so she wouldn’t be alone, which forced my bridesmaid to drag him back whenever I was mid-conversation with vendors.” Yeah, because then she’s making it all about her, so now they’re not even focusing on their wedding and the vendors, she’s just being annoyed. “We found out. We found some promising vendors, silk flowers, rentals, and hair and makeup team. When I mentioned these, she loudly criticized them. ‘I don’t know why people wear makeup anyway, I didn’t at my wedding, and it was such a waste of money to hire someone.'”

This is someone that’s just gonna find something negative about everything. Either she doesn’t support their marriage or their relationship, she’s unhappy with her own wedding, or she’s just unhappy with her life in general. So she’s gonna critique every single thing that she does.

“For context, I have eczema and acne, so I rarely wear more than concealer and foundation for my wedding. I wanted to feel extra special.” As you should, girl. “She also dismissed the silk flowers as cheap. Even after my fiance reminded her, she hadn’t seen the particular booth we liked.” Just making judgements again. “On the way to lunch afterwards, she called his younger brother and bribed him with a free meal to join. The moment he arrived, she focused entirely on him ignoring my bridesmaids and any vendor talk.”

So she’s like just shutting them out. This is such common behavior in these stories. I see. Um, both with shutting out the wedding planning, critiquing anything that they don’t like. It is making the bride feel bad or awkward about ever bringing up the wedding. And then on the other side of things, the sibling picking favorites. I just read another story about this last week where it was sisters and they were picking favorites and then the famous me and Tina skit, and now it’s doing the same thing. Oh, own invite brother to our lunch. And I’m just gonna completely ignore you guys now.

“Months later, I scheduled wedding dress shopping for when my sister would be in town. I texted his mom and my mom the details. His mom replied that she added it to her calendar, so I didn’t send a reminder. The day arrived and after our family vacation.” I know this going and I’m trying not to laugh. “My bridesmaid’s mom and I headed to the boutique soon after my fiance called his dad, told him his mom had skipped it to take his brother’s graduation pictures. My fiance gently scolded me for not reminding her, even though she said she had it on her calendar.”

That hurt. Yeah, she’s an adult. Like it’s also the relationship thing. Like for example, like I told my mom and my mother-in-law like, Hey, this is the date. For dress shopping? Are you guys both free? They both were. They put it on their calendar, but I talked to them multiple times before then, so it would come up. My mother-in-law would call me like we would talk about it. Same with my mom. Like so like it would come up in conversation, but if it’s somebody I don’t talk to a lot, they are adults. If she, if she said, Hey, I put it in my calendar, trust, trust that. If she had a question about it, she can ask. For her to then be like, oh, I’m taking your brother’s graduation photos. Mm, I don’t know. I think it was on purpose. Um.

“We ended up finding the dress at, I dunno why I said it like that, the dress at the first shop, but kept a second appointment just in case. To our shock, his mom showed up at the second boutique, even though she previously said she wasn’t coming.” So she knew .She either knew or the fiance, because I’m wondering if he scolded the bride later or if he like called her and was like, uh, my mom’s not there. You needed to call her, blah, blah, blah, blah. So maybe he gave the address and was like, you need to go. But to me it sounds like the mom just didn’t wanna go to the first appointment. “To our shock… she immediately criticized the gowns as cheap and called my favorite one plain.” Ew. I don’t like that at all. Again, she’s being so rude during this whole like engagement, stop inviting her to things. “My bridal party was furious.” I wonder if anyone like stuck up for, stood up for her and said something. ’cause I feel like my friends would not be able to bite their tongue. Again, I’ve talked about before. I have an amazing mother-in-law. She would never, but I’m just trying to picture like if there was a scenario where one of my, or one of my friend’s mother-in-laws said something, I think we would say something. I don’t think we could just stand there and be like, watch it happen. That would be terrible.

“My bridal party was furious Afterwards, she declined our dinner invitation, telling my fiance later she wasn’t invited at all.” Of course, she’s gonna be the victim. “My sister planned my bridal shower and we invited his mom’s friends too. Only one RSVP.” Yes, which upset her. “A week before the shower, my fiance told, his mom told me his mom complained. I had excluded her from planning. I reminded him that my sister was handling everything. When he relayed that to his mom, she suddenly claimed she was too busy to help anyway.”

This is that victim mentality. They’re gonna find something wrong or find like a way to whine or cry about everything. It’s like, and she’s putting her, her son, the fiance in the middle of everything, saying like, oh, they didn’t include me when they actually did. And then when he says that, he’s like, oh, I’m way too busy for that. Come on.

“On the day she and her mother sat in their car until five minutes before the party. During the shower, she kept mostly to herself. Her gift to me was a Yelp printout for a quirky nail boutique specializing in anime designs. Interesting, sweet in theory, but not at all practical since we were leaving for our honeymoon the next day.” This is wild. “Later, she scheduled a nail appointment for just the two of us without asking me. Then backed out saying she’d bring a friend instead.” What? So she gets you a nail gift certificate for your bridal shower? Then she says, here, I booked a nail appointment for us, and now she can’t go. This woman is wild. How do you, I don’t know how people deal with this.

“His parents agreed to pay for the rehearsal dinner, but his mom still complained about the officiant not attending. He was never supposed to for a co per contract.” I don’t think they typically do. “At the restaurant, she boasted about the very expensive cookies she brought on the wedding day things escalated. She barged into the bridal suite demanding the photographer document a gift from the groom, which delayed our timeline.” I am shaking my head if you’re listening. “Later, she wandered around with her own DSLR camera.” No. Why? Why does she think she’s a photographer now? “Taking photos during our first dance and other moments, even though we had professionals hired.” And you don’t wanna do that either because your flash can throw out the other photographer’s flash. You could be in the background, you could be in the way, like leave it to the professionals. “Our photographer cropped her out whenever possible, but the videographer couldn’t avoid her.” Also, doesn’t she wanna like interact with people while she had a camera? “She also camped out at her reception table with plastic water bottles and spent much of the night at the photo booth with her friends rather than celebrating with us. The next day, I logged into Facebook to see that she’d already posted dozens of wedding photos. Most of them were herself. Out of nearly 50 pictures, I appeared in about seven.” I am laughing ’cause this is just so ridiculous. Like you’re telling me she makes this big stink about the whole wedding. Has to make the whole thing about her. Then on the wedding day, instead of actually just enjoying it and being present, she’s carrying around this huge DSLR camera, taking all these photos as if she’s a second hired photographer, and then posting it all to Facebook without the bride. It’s wild. Oh my gosh.

“Looking back, his mom’s need for attention overshadowed so many parts of the process. My fiance often excused it, wanting to keep her happy, but it left me feeling excluded and disrespected at multiple points.” I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. If it comes to the point where your mom is making you choose between the two and you can’t choose your new wife. You’re more concerned about making her happy than you’ve already lost. You’re already not choosing your wife, so why are you marrying her? I, I just, I don’t get that, like she, the mom wants like this battle to happen. She wants to like see that her son is still loyal to her, but at the end of the day, like he chose to marry this new person. That’s terrible.

“The wedding itself was beautiful, but her behavior is something I will never forget.” I’m so sorry to this bride and it sucks when you like. Those are the memories then that you have of your wedding day, and I’m sure it hasn’t gotten better now that they’re married. I’m sure it has not gotten better. This mother-in-law is going to still be doing things to be passive aggressive, to be rude, to put her down. All because the girl was scrolling on her phone during game night. Like there, these needs to be researched in a lab somewhere. I don’t know, like I don’t know where this comes from that they get so up in arms or so offended when their son finds someone to marry. I don’t know where this comes from. We need another therapist to come on here and talk about it.

Three Weddings, One Messy Family Tree

Okay, next one. Oh gosh. Okay. Three weddings, one family drama. This story actually involves three weddings. “I grew up in the same neighborhood as this family and was close friends with the youngest daughter. She and her older sister split their time between their dad and stepmom’s house and their mom’s. The stepmom also had two kids from a previous relationship, so it was a blended household. About a year, about a year and a half ago, the older sister got engaged around the same time it came out that their dad was cheating on the stepmom, which led to a nasty divorce.“ Okay. The stepmom and her kids all cut him off, and so did the older sister.

“The younger sister was the only one still trying to keep some peace, and that’s the one that’s friends with the op.” A lot of characters here. And this is why, sorry, this is a side note, but this is why like when I do skits and people are like, I need the next part, I need the next part. I’m like, I don’t wanna complicate it too much by adding all these other characters. ‘Cause I did that before and people were like, who’s who? Who’s that? And it just gets it. It’s hard in these skits and this is why I need to read this one first. Okay. Um.

“Originally, the dad was invited to the older sister’s wedding, but he threw a fit when he found out the stepmom might be there and demanded to bring his new partner instead.” God, hopefully it wasn’t the one that he cheated with. I mean, it’s awkward either way ’cause it was a nasty divorce. But if he is like, Hey, this is the mistress.

Like what are we doing here? “When the bride told him his new partner wasn’t welcome, he refused to attend.” So you’re choosing this new partner over your daughter’s wedding or stepdaughter’s wedding. “She finally uninvited him altogether at the wedding. Their mom walked down the aisle at the wedding, their mom walked. The bride down the aisle, and both the younger sister and the former stepsister were bridesmaids. Afterward, the dad had the audacity to send the bride a venmo request asking for the, asking for reimbursement for the venue deposit. He contributed she ignored it.” This dad is something else. We need a skit about that because I feel like too many times, like these skits are focused on moms and mothers in-law. I’m sorry guys. I am really sorry for that because I, I don’t mean it to be that way. I just get, most of the stories are about moms and I, I don’t mean for it. So I need a dad story. We need to skit about this because this is a really shitty thing to do. Really shitty thing to do. He ultimately chose his new girlfriend over his wife and kids. I get the divorce was nasty, but you need to put your kids first. He is like, pay me back for the venue. I’m like, not, it’s not her fault. You didn’t show up.

“A month later, the dad married the woman he cheated with. The divorce papers from the second marriage were finalized only 24 hours before his wedding.” So it was the woman he cheated with that he wanted to bring to the wedding. Can you imagine the audacity to not even see how badly you screwed up? You ripped apart your family by cheating on your, on your, your wife, um, of how many years and then wanting to bring her to your daughter’s wedding. Actually, stepdaughter’s wedding. What? This guy’s lost his mind.

The only guests were her. The only guests were two of her kids. The younger daughter wasn’t invited, which upset her, but her dad brushed it off by saying she lived too far away about four hours and he didn’t think she could make it. Okay. Wedding #3.

“Just this past weekend was the younger sister’s wedding. I was in the bridal party along with her fiance’s sister, her biological sister. Two new stepsisters from the dad’s third marriage and a cousin.” Okay. So we’re talking, oh wow. This is like a nice, okay, that like biological sister, the peacekeeper, we’ll call her. I don’t have names for her. So really nice to include her dad’s mistress kids. I mean, I guess this his new wife now, but that’s wild to include them. Okay. “The bride had invited her former stepmom and step siblings, but they weren’t a part of the bridal party.” So she included, and unless I’m understanding incorrectly, she included the new stepsisters from the dad’s third marriage, but not the former. Step siblings who she’s known a lot longer. Okay. I guess it’s all about relationship and you, you choose who you want in your wedding. It’s ultimately up to you, but that’s wild. Uh, okay. Okay. “Her mom and her mom’s partner were also there. Her biological sister serving as maid of honor, still wasn’t speaking to their dad. It was out of question, the most awkward wedding I’ve ever, ever attended. The dad walked the bride down the aisle, but the former stepmom and step-siblings weren’t included in photos and left after cocktail hour. I later heard this was prearranged. The bride wouldn’t be upset.” Oh, that sucks. That’s really sad. “During family photos, the division was almost comical. Bride and groom were in the center mom with her partner and their son, and the older sister with her husband on one side, dad and his new wife and her kids on the other. The older sister was treated as part of mom’s side, and there were no photos of both sisters with their dad. He and the older sister still don’t speak to this day and they didn’t speak the entire day. The dad’s new wife seemed to be scrambling to play catch up socially, meeting extended family for the first time, while also trying to coexist with his ex-wife’s families.”

I wanna hear our story, like I want her to send in what happened here, like if my head, it feels like scrambled eggs right now from all of this, I can only imagine. What actually happened and, and you guys listening like, are, am I too confused? Are you guys confused? There are so many people here. Okay. “She ends with the bride, looked happy at the end of it all, which is the most important thing. But from the outside, the balancing act of divorce, parents, ex stepparents, half siblings and new partners made it painfully awkward to witness.” Uh, I hate that. I hate when you hear about like these messy divorces and the parents then make it more about themselves. It sounds like the, um, ex like stepmother, um, sounded like she was willing to like, make it work, but the dad is just, sounds terrible. Um, I’ve been in multiple weddings where there’s children of divorce and they make it work. They’re still hugging, they’re friends. They get along, they, and it’s not like they’re hanging out outside of it. They just make it work for the sake of their kids in a beautiful day. It’s not that hard to brush it aside for one day. It’s not about you, it’s about the bride and groom. And that’s it. The couple getting married.

All right, guys. Well, those were two completely wild stories. Thanks for listening, and hopefully, I mean, we might need a family tree after this. I don’t know, but this was wild.

Mother-in-Law on Vacation With the Ex?

All right, let’s end this episode with some confessions that you guys sent me over on Instagram again. Every single Friday we ask you guys to send us your confessions. They have to do. All kinds of things. Engagements, dating, uh, relationships, weddings, proposals, honeymoons, you name it. So send them to us. Okay. This first one says.

“My mother-in-law would invite his ex over or go on vacation with her after we got engaged.” Oh, no. This is the one that needs to let go of the past. This, I would, I don’t think I would do well with that. Uh, I don’t think most people would. I need to know now. Where are you guys? Are you guys engaged still? Are you married? Does his ex still come around? What is his relationship with the ex? What is his relationship with his mom? Is, is he like setting up a boundary? Because that’s weird to me that the mother-in-law’s going on vacation with her. That’s, that’s very inappropriate to me. Okay.

Was that intentional or was that like an accident? Because there’s been times where like my husband’s included in a group chat or I am and the other isn’t included, and you talk to them later and they either are like, oh, I didn’t mean to do that.

Or, um, it was for a different reason. Or, I don’t know, like, maybe it’s not that deep, but maybe it is that deep. I don’t know. It is weird to not include the bride in a text about her wedding. That’s like the one where the mother-in-law posted photos. Um, I think it was from their engagement and then, um, purposely like, what was it? She, I think either cropped out the bride. No, she, yeah, she cropped out the bride and then only tagged the son in the photos, so that was intentional.

Okay. This last one says, “I knew he was going to propose, but he still doesn’t know that.” Wait. “I knew he was going to propose, but he still doesn’t know that. Married for four years with two kids.“ Okay. Why was I, okay, tell me why I read that. Like he doesn’t know that I’ve been married for four years with two kids. I’ve been reading too many like crazy confessions that I was literally thought she was like confessing to us a deep, dark secret that she’s been married for four years with two kids. Okay. She knew that he was going to propose, like she, somehow the secret was out. She knew that he was gonna propose and she’s not telling him four years later with two kids, all right, I got you. I got you. That’s not that wild. I think that probably happens a lot. You want them to feel good about their surprise, so you’re not gonna say anything.

Um, like I’ve talked about before, I knew my, I knew like we were gonna get engaged soon. I didn’t know when it was gonna happen, so I was completely surprised when it did happen. Um. But I wasn’t like, whoa, we’ve never talked about marriage before. This is weird. So I knew it was kind of coming. Um, yeah.

Well, thanks guys. Those were some pretty wild stories today. As always, if you want more content or more crazy stories, join my email newsletter we send out. We send out emails every single Thursday and we like to call them stories from the Vault. So you’ll get some other stories that we don’t share anywhere else. ’cause I get so many stories, um, every single week. Like right now there’s probably 400 plus. I don’t even know, I haven’t looked at the full doc in a long time. Um, stories and situations and segments and questions that have been sent to me, um, we’re just working on their way out. So, uh, lots of different. Ways and places that I’m sharing them right now.

So thank you guys for listening. And um, you guys, I think I just had like a complete, like brain burst. I’ve been like, I feel like I’ve been pulled in so many directions. I think we all feel that. I don’t know what it, what’s going on, but there’s just so much going on right now that my brain sometimes is just like, I completely just had a brain pause. I don’t even know what you wanna call it, but thank you guys for hanging out with me.

Um. Okay. Thank you so much for hanging out with me this week. As a reminder, you can order my new book, here comes The Drama, a Ferris and Sloan story on. Amazon, Cobo, Barnes and Noble, Ingram Sparks, and many other places. You can find all the links in the show notes. Um, and don’t forget to tag me on social media. I’d love to hear your reviews, see where you’re reading it, um, and share it with a friend because the more people that read it or see about it, because the more people that read it or hear about it, um, just warms my heart, makes me happy.

All right guys. That’s all I have this week. Thanks for hanging out with me. Don’t forget, you now order my brand new book. I guess it’s not brand new anymore, but you could order my book. Here comes the Drama Affairs and Sloan story. Um, Amazon Cobo, Barnes and Noble, Ingram Spark and many other places. The details are in the show notes. I’m currently working on book number two, so that’s been a lot of fun to work on.

Um. I need to work on focusing a little bit more, but I’m excited because I’m taking the storyline that was on social media and like really deep diving it and adding a lot more that was not there before. So if you guys want first dibs or if you guys want some s some more sneak peeks into the book, make sure you’re on my email list.

All right guys. That’s all I got for you this week and I’ll see you next time. Bye now.

by Christa Innis

The Forced Bridesmaid, the Wedding Villain, and a Shocking Twist

“My sister wore a WHITE GOWN… to my rehearsal dinner.”

Yep, that actually happened. This week, I’m spilling not one, but two jaw-dropping wedding stories where guests went full villain mode. We’re talking sisters stealing the spotlight, friends acting like frenemies, and a guest who thought white was her color—brace yourself.

From family members who just can’t let go to attention-seekers desperate to make the day all about them, I’m breaking down the messy details with my signature mix of sass, humor, and straight talk.

And it doesn’t stop there, confessions at the end of the episode include a drunken maid of honor, a mother-in-law in a massive black hat, and even a vow renewal request that will leave you SPEECHLESS.

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My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

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Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

03:26 Podcast Format and Upcoming Segments

03:02 Listener Review and Personal Story

03:33 Unique Wedding Coordination Experience

07:56 Unpopular Opinions on Engagement Rings

12:10 This or That: Wedding Drama Debates

18:03 Crazy Wedding Stories: Sister Drama

23:18 The Bride’s Wedding Day Drama

24:40 Sister’s Immature Behavior

29:24 A New Story Begins

29:35 Sabrina’s Obnoxious Antics

33:58 Wedding Day Showdown

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

Unpopular Opinions Unpacked – I’m diving into engagement rings, proposals, and why surprise proposals might actually be the worst idea.
This or That: Wedding Edition – From cheesy DJs to awkward speeches, I’m debating the biggest wedding dilemmas.
Sister Showdown – Bride’s big day was almost derailed by her sister’s shocking white dress choice.
Frenemy in White – Yep, it’s the infamous Sabrina story—how one guest tried (and failed) to steal the spotlight.
Mother-in-Law Chaos – When a MIL shows up in black and white with a statement hat, you know it’s personal.
Vendor Nightmares – Let me tell you why hiring family as your photographer is a recipe for regret.
Drunk Maid of Honor – One bride’s sister turned into a tipsy disaster before the ceremony even began.
Confessions & Closing Tea – I’m wrapping up with jaw-dropping listener confessions and, of course, a little gratitude moment.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“Stop being considerate of people who don’t even consider you.” – Christa Innis
“If you want to wear white to my wedding, congrats—you just RSVP’d to the drama.” – Christa Innis
“Movies made surprise proposals look romantic. In real life, it’s a nightmare waiting to happen.” – Christa Innis
“Sometimes the best punishment isn’t confrontation—it’s silence.” – Christa Innis
“If you know you can’t handle your liquor, hold off until your duties are done.” – Christa Innis

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of, Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis, and I’m exhausted. How are you doing today? I am just feeling so like, I don’t know, there’s just so much going on. I don’t know where August went. It’s here and gone. Um, that by the time this comes out, it’ll be early October, but I’m filming it or recording this right now in September.

And I just, I feel like I blinked and this year is like t hree quarters of the way over. Um, it’s just, it’s, I’m so grateful to be doing what I’m doing, but it’s also very like nonstop. Sometimes I need to take a step back and just like take a deep breath because I feel like I’m just like on this constant like hamster wheel of running around, checking things off the box, being a mom, being a wife, being a friend.

And it’s just, it’s, it’s a lot. Um, and I’m sure you moms or parents with kids going back to school are feeling it. Mine’s too young for that yet, so I’m not doing the back to school thing quite yet. But, um, it’s just wild how the older you get. The years just seem to go quicker and quicker and quicker. Um, and the, with the current climate, I just feel like the news is suppressing.

It’s a little sad and I hope I can just bring some entertainment to you guys with, you know, with everything going on. Um, I don’t know. It’s just, it’s a lot and I just have to remind myself to be grateful for. What I’m able to do, being able to do this from home and be able to create, um, a lot of people don’t have that.

And so, um, I don’t take it for granted. So I’m just, I’m just wanna say I’m grateful for you guys listening. I know I’m going off on a little tangent. I’ve got a lot of feelings this week. Um, there’s just, there’s a lot. There’s a lot going on. So -we are gonna do things a little different. Um, I dunno, I say that, but I feel like it’s always a little different ’cause we always have new stories.

Um, we’ve got two stories at the end for you today. We’re gonna do unpopular opinions, um, which you guys send me on social media. We’re gonna do some this or that, some hot takes. And of course at the very, very end we got some confessions for you and we got some good ones. Um. We haven’t shared these for a while.

I mean, we share them on Instagram, um, stories. But we’ve even shared ’em on a podcast in a while, so you guys are in for a treat. Gosh, there were so many.

Breaking Traditions: A Bride’s Dream Wedding with Zero Rules

Okay. Starting things off, I just wanna read a little, um, review of the podcast. It says, as someone in the wedding industry, bridal assistant, I enjoy watching your videos and I can’t wait to hear the rest of the stories.

That’s from Songbird for life. So thank you so much Songbird for leaving that review. And again, if you guys enjoy this podcast, please share it with a friend or leave a review. It really helps more people hear the podcast and just means so much to me. Um. I wanna share just something really fun. I know like a lot of times on my social media accounts and on the podcast, I, you know, I do skits.

So a lot of it is about other people’s stories and stuff. But as many of you guys know, I do very, very part-time day of coordinating. Like, I’m talking like I did one this year and I did one last year. I’m talking to a bride right now for one next year. Um, I just don’t have the time to do it. I love it so much.

I love it so much. I just had the honor of doing one. Um, it’s been two weeks now. Um, but she was just a dream of a bride to work with, just so kind, knew what she wanted was, so I, I mean, just knew what she wanted, but also was like very like open to hearing ideas. Um. We brainstorm, we brainstorm, brainstormed through a lot of stuff.

Um, but I just have to just. It just reminds me of like why I love weddings so much. Um, like I said, I don’t do a, a ton anymore, but it’s fun to just get back out there. I just did like some partial planning with her, so we met like every few months and then we did day of coordinating. So I basically just ran around like, you know what?

You tell me what you need. I got, I got you. Um, we did the rehearsal together, but I wanted to share instead of like me just blabbing, I wanted to share some interesting things. That they did not do, or traditional things that they did not do that I thought was so awesome the way they did it, or just I should say non-traditional things they did.

I thought was really awesome. And a reminder to anyone listening that you don’t ever have to stick within the guidelines of what your parents tell you or what you see on the, in the media or whatever. You can do things your own way, and I loved this about their wedding. Okay, so here’s some things that I thought was really cool.

They had no maid of honor or best man. Um, they had a wedding party, um, but it was very, like everyone was equal. Um. They had a few different speeches, but it wasn’t like who you would think it was just kind of like different people on each side. Some had asked, some were told, so I thought that was really cool.

There were no readings in the wedding, the wedding itself’s, why I led the, the, um, ceremony. Um, and I just kinda like organized where everyone stood and all that. Um, it was really quick. I wanna say it was 15 minutes max. They wanted a really quick ceremony. It was. Beautiful. Honestly, like out of like Taylor Swift’s like music video or something so beautiful.

Um, they did no readings, so it was really quick. Um, she had her stepdad officiate and I thought he did such a great job. He was so um, nervous. He had never done it before, but he did so great. He was so personable. And I thought it was a really great way to include her stepdad. And then she did her daddy daughter dance, and then her, both her parents walked her down the aisle and then both the groom’s parents walked him down the aisle.

So I thought it was a great way to include all parents, um, in that, um, what’s something else? They also had, um, flower petals on this seat instead of just the flower girls having them, everyone could throw them at the end. So I thought that was really, really awesome. They had no cake. A lot of people are gonna be like, what?

But I love that someone that’s like not a big cake person, I just love the little sweetss and treats. They just did a dessert table, so they did no cake cutting. Um, and so that was great. So it’s just a reminder that no matter what it is, even if you’re like, I’m already married or I don’t plan on getting married, whatever kind of event or just thing in your life, go outside the lines.

Like, do what makes sense for you. Um, say goodbye to tradition. Tradition. Um. Yeah, I just, it was such a, she was such a dream to work with and everyone in the wedding party was just so kind. And yeah, it just reminds me of why I love doing it. So, um, I get like a little like, um, anxious when it before weddings.

’cause I’m like such an introverted person. I work from home, but when you put me in that spot, I got it. How can I help you? Where can I go to, what can I do for you? Like, I got you. So, um, yeah, I don’t really like advertise that I do it much just because like, I don’t have much time for them, but when I do them, they’re so much fun.

Engagement Rings, Proposals & The Myth of the “Perfect Surprise”

Anyways, okay, into our first segment, unpopular Opinions. These are ones that you guys sent to me on social media, so let’s talk about it. These ones have to do with engagement rings, so let’s talk about it. All right. These are unpopular opinions that people send. The first one says the bigger the stone, the better.

Um, no, it’s actually about the commitment. Yeah. 100%. I mean, I, there’s, they’re saying, okay, I guess you can’t see. They have quotes around the bigger the stone the better. No, it’s absolutely not. The bigger the stone the better. So I’m agreeing with this person. Um. Yeah, I feel like people get so caught up in the ring.

Yes. I like, I love my wedding ring or my engagement ring. My husband and I though like talked about it ahead of time, like I was very involved in that. I know it’s different for everybody, but there’s this idea of like, you have to spend this amount, you have to do this if you truly love them. And it’s like, no, like there are like millionaires and billionaires that get married multiple times that like spend. An obs and a crazy amount of money on these rings, that does not mean they love the person more. If all you can afford is a very basic ring, do that also fit into their personality? If they’re not a big jewelry wear or don’t, like big stones, don’t do that. Um, so yeah. Um, this person says, I don’t like the big marry me sign.

It’s overdone. I’ve never seen it personally. I see them a lot of times on like Instagram or social media and to me that’s like the Instagram proposal, right? Like that you want everything to look good. It’s a big flashing lights. Some people love that. Some people want that public proposal. Teach their own.

Um, this person says, I think proposals are best kept private. Keep it intimate for the couple, me personally, yes. I own, I’ve talked to this before. I had, um, four other friends there, so I had, it was two other couples that were with us. Had no idea what was gonna happen that night. I knew it was probably happening soon, but, uh.

No idea what was happening that night. I loved how intimate it was. It was a friend’s backyard. We were all hanging out. I would not have been comfortable. I mean, I dunno. I say that now in like hindsight. I don’t think I would’ve wanted a big, a big proposal. I’ve been a part of big proposals or ones that are at we or big parties.

Everyone’s got their own vibe. It’s just important to know your person and know what they’re comfortable with, and that goes for either partner. Because let’s say the bride really wants this big moment and it’s in public space, but if the groom’s not comfortable with that, like maybe he’s more private, he’d rather confess his love for her or ask her to marry him in a private place, then you have to like be able to work together some way somehow.

Um, it says, this one says it shouldn’t be a total surprise, total incomplete surprise. I a hundred percent agree with this. I feel like movies growing up and the way it was presented growing up was like, okay, when your partner loves you, they’re gonna propose to you and it’s gonna be outta nowhere. That sounds like a nightmare. If you’ve never talked about marriage or never talked about the next step with your partner, I don’t think you should be proposing or getting proposed to. You need to have that discussion because I’ve seen stories where people get proposed when they’re like, oh, we are not there yet. Or they’re like, I, I don’t want to get married.

So yeah, I don’t think it should be a complete surprise, like. Maybe how it happens or when it happens. Yes. I love the surprise element of the actual proposal, but to not ever, to never talk about getting married together or like moving in together and then you’re just like, I bought this ring. It’s like, pump the brakes a little bit.Let’s have the the conversation first.

Wedding Dilemmas: Cheesy DJs, Awkward Speeches & Destination Dreams

Okay, next up, this or that. Pick aside wedding drama debates. Here we go. A band that kills the vibe by skipping your first dance song. Or a DJ who keeps people dancing, but plays tea, cheesy tracks all night. If I’m picking one or the other, I’m gonna go for a cheesy, cheesy dj because if people are dancing all night, they’re obviously enjoying it in some way or another.

And I am all about it, like I’ve talked about this before, but like. My family. We’ve always been the one that’s like on the dance floor all night long. Same with my husband’s family. That was one of the things, like we’d go to weddings together and I was like, okay, we, we vibe because we are on the dance floor all night.

We’re not sitting at our table. We are on our feet hanging out, dancing. I love it. Uh, okay, next one. Blow the budget on incredible food. Everyone raves about or skip the fancy food and have a Pinterest perfect reception. Um, I’m gonna go incredible food. I don’t care about Pinterest. Perfect. I don’t, um, endless awkward speeches or no speeches at all.

And it offended and offended. Friends, why are the friends offended? Because they didn’t, weren’t asked for a speech. Um, I would say no speeches at all. Sorry. Two of the offended friends. If you’re offended. Sorry. I don’t, I don’t know why I would never be offended if someone didn’t ask me to give a speech.

I would actually understand if someone didn’t ask me. ’cause I blab a lot. Um, but I think I’d be okay if someone asked me. Side, side story. Endless awkward speeches. I’ve sold, I’ve told that story so many times, but I was at a wedding once where they just kept passing around the microphone. Nothing was planned.

Everyone just kept going off on a whim. It was awkward. Nobody wants that. A 12 person party full of drama or the guilt of leaving people out with only one or two by your side. Uh, see the way that one’s worded is like one’s better than the other. Actually, no, they’re both worded bad, I guess. I’m gonna go with the guilt of leaving people out with one, only one or two by your side.

And the reason I say it, and I’m someone that had nine bridesmaids, okay? I dunno if I’ve ever talked about that before and I don’t regret it for a second. I loved it. But also my wedding party, everyone got along very well. They all know each other. I mean, they’re from different groups. Kind of like I had cousin friends from high school, um, sisters-in-law.

Uh. Other friends and then my sister. So different groups, but they all kind of knew each other, but everyone got along great, so we didn’t have any drama. Um, so yeah, that’s hard though when you do have a really big group and there’s like a lot of drama going on, leave me out of it, especially at my age now, I’m just like, if I were to do all over again, I would probably just have a couple people stand up with me and then have the rest, like just wear a similar color.

I actually just saw a wedding like that and I think that was really beautiful. Uh, kids melting down mid vows or family drama for years after banning kids? Ooh, that’s a spicy one.

It depends on who the kid is. Um, ’cause I, I couldn’t imagine getting married without my nieces and nephews at our wedding. So if one of them had a met meltdown. I would just be glad they were there, honestly. But if it was someone, ’cause I don’t think we’d have family drama. See, I read, this is the problem with me and Rapid Fire, I read into them too much because I’m like, wait, that wouldn’t happen.

So if I’m just going straight off the bat, I would just say a kid melting down because it’d be someone important to me. Um. Plus it’s like 20 seconds long. Okay. A dreamy destination wedding and judgment from family or a giant hometown wedding. You didn’t even want a dreamy destination wedding. It’s funny ’cause I feel like.

My opinion has changed so much since, since getting married, and I’ve only been married three and a half years now. Um, but like I always say, I almost, I’m one of the last ones, so we knew exactly what we wanted. We’d been to so many weddings, but if I were to get married now or years from now, like, or redo it, I’d go destination all the way small group.I already did the whole fun planning of a wedding, you know? And so I’m like the fact, the thought of doing that again, I’m just like, I don’t know. I don’t need to do it for myself. Love doing it for other people. But yeah.

The Sister Who Wore White (Twice!) and Hijacked the Wedding

Okay, let’s get into the stories ’cause they are long, so I wanna make sure I have enough time without having to carry over to another, I got two crazy stories here.

Let’s go. Okay. My older sister was married first, but her marriage only lasted two months. While she was divorcing her husband, I had just met the man of my dreams. We got engaged eight months after dating and planning our wedding for five months later, since he was set to deploy soon after. My mom was adamant that my sister be my maid of honor because you only have, this is her saying it in quotes.

You only have one sister. And I always wished I had but didn’t, even though my sister and I weren’t very close, I had two lifelong best friends who felt more like sisters. I went along with it. Oh no. Okay, so full disclosure. I had my best friend, Yvette, who has been on the podcast, be my maid of honor, and my sister was a bridesmaid.

She was not offended. She was actually just very happy to be a bridesmaid. Um, my, I was my sister’s maid of honor, but she also got married 12, 13 years ago. Oh my gosh, 14 years ago. So I was like super young. We were both really young, um, and so things were just different. But yeah, I, I knew right off the bat that I wanted my friend Yvette, to be my maid of honor plus.

You also have to look at, like when someone’s, your maid of honor, you’re, they’re getting other responsibilities too, depending on, you know, different things. But your bachelorette party, maybe you’re helping with the shower being your person. Right. And I talked to my friend about all the time. We’d been to so many different events together, and it just was more fitting.

My sister was not offended. She was happy to be a part of the wedding. Um, okay. So I talked about this before. I am not a fan of when parents or people try to convince the brighter groom to have someone be in the wedding or be a certain place in the wedding. So she went along with it when it came time for my bridal shower and bachelorette party, which were scheduled the same weekend since I was finishing grad school in another state.

That sounds stressful. My sister refused to help. For months. Every time I asked, she brushed it off, brushed me off with, we have time. It’s too early to plan, so she’s not a planner. In the end, my mom and I organized everything ourselves. A week before the events, my sister suddenly started asking questions and got mad that everything had already been handled without her.

My mom even called me asking me to find something to include her in. So you’re doing more work because she couldn’t be bothered before. My phone just lit up like I was talking to it. I promise I’m not. Okay. It’s like all those like skits I do where there’s like a recording. It’s like recording me now.

Okay. Um, my mom, okay, so I reminded her that I had been trying for two months, but my sister hadn’t lifted a finger. When I flew back home to go wedding dress shopping with everyone, she didn’t show up. Later, she demanded a different dress from the other bridesmaids because it was special. I wanted them all to match, but of course my parents called me saying she was hurt.

Oh my gosh. Is this an older or younger sister? Older. Okay. The older sister did this. Okay. My shower, she had narrowed her outfit down to two dresses. I told her which one I preferred because the other was two bridal. She showed up in the white dress anyway, with black accents, perfectly matching my invitations and decor.

In the photos she positioned herself in the middle so much that you barely know, that you would barely know I was the bride. So like there’s no like necessary rule that at showers and stuff, the bride has to be the only one in white. But I feel like all the ones I’ve gone to, it’s pretty common courtesy.

I would never show up to a shower or a bachelorette wearing all white. Um. Especially if you ask them their opinion. This sounds to me like the sister was a little salty about the fact that she was going through a divorce. It wasn’t working. So her sis and then her sister’s moving really fast with this wedding.

So she’s like, I’m gonna be involved where I want to be involved. Um, and that’s unfortunate that she can’t just be happy for her. With all the drama building, my fiance and I secretly decided to elope what? S I’m sorry for that sound that just came outta my mouth. That just came outta nowhere. We got married privately, just the two of us, but kept it a secret until after the big day.

Oh, I love when that happens. I love that. Okay. Honestly, it saved me so much stress. You go girl. The night before the wedding, a massive blizzard hit. I was running around collecting last minute deliveries and arrived a little late to my rehearsal. Sure enough, my sister showed up in a white gown. You guys, this is wild.

I’ve never read a story where the sister is like showing up in these gowns. It’s usually the mom or mother-in-law or an aunt or something. That’s wild. ’cause she knows better. She’s been a bride. She knows better. It makes me wonder how her wedding was. If she was like this at her wedding or someone did it to her, like what’s the, what’s the deal here?

At that point, I didn’t even care. I went through a rehearsal in jeans and snow booth before changing from the dinner. You go, girl, I love this bride. The morning of the wedding, all of us, my fight bridesmaids, my sister, my mom and my mother-in-law went to the salon. My sister went first for hair and threw a fit because her hair didn’t match the picture.

She brought, she soaked in the corner with her arms crossed like a toddler. I added that. Um, while the stylist kept checking in as we were leaving, she suddenly sighed. Fine. I guess I can f. I guess someone can fix my hair. I told my mom we needed to go since the florist was delivering flowers and the photographer was minutes away, but she insisted Your sister needs to be happy with her hair.

What is with this mom constantly like defending the older sister for acting like a toddler? My guess is this is why she acts this way, is because the parents are always like, no, like, let’s go out for your sister. Like, what is the deal here? Why is the younger sister acting like. So much more mature in this scenario.

45 minutes later, this is wild. My sister finally approved her look and acted like nothing had happened. On the way back, she demanded. We stopped at CVS for an allergy medicine. I tried to say no, but my mom cut me off again. Here we go with the mom. You know, this is hard for her since she just had her wedding.

Let’s do what we can to make her comfortable. No. This is the bride’s day. We don’t need to make this whole time. We don’t need to make it comfortable for the sister this whole time. For context, her wedding had been over, uh, for a year at this point. By the time we got home, the florist had already left taking the bouquet to the reception, but leaving the behind the VAEs for the bridesmaids table arrangements.

Oh my gosh. The photographer was also waiting on us. During picture as my sister shoved her way to be next to me. In nearly every shot, nearly every shot loudly, declaring I’m the maid of honor. This is my spot.

That’s wild. I’ve been the maid of honor twice, and I was just like, I don’t care where I stand. I’ll stand where you guys want me to. I had. I had to specifically request individual photos with each bridesmaid just so they wouldn’t all be dominated by her. Oh my gosh. It’s hard when it’s a sibling ’cause it’s like you can’t just like cut them out.

Especially the mom is like waiting on her hand and foot. Afterwards she demanded to know why she didn’t sign the marriage license and accused wait. What? She didn’t manage to know why she wasn’t like the witness on the marriage license and accused another bridesmaid of doing it when in reality no one had.

We were already legally married at the reception she pouted when one of my best friends gave a speech rolling her eyes and smirking through it. My mom kept excusing her behavior as a hard time for my sister, but really this is just who she is and my parents chose to not see it. That is so wild. Like I am so sorry because.

This is gonna never change. These parents are gonna constantly excuse her behavior saying, oh, she’s just going through a hard time. It’s like, no, everyone’s going through a hard time. From time to time. Everyone’s stressed from time to time. It does not give you the right to treat people a certain way, or especially during your sister’s wedding.

Like, be happy for someone other than yourself. Um, so I’m guessing they didn’t ask the sister to give a speech either. A few years later she remarried. Wait, before I get to that, I was gonna say, I wish she would’ve said that moment. It’s ’cause we’re already married. Like I feel like I would’ve done that in my skit.

Be like, it’s ’cause we’re already married. But I guess she didn’t tell her. Okay. A few years later she remarried. She got engaged when I was seven months pregnant and announced they’d be in, they’d be getting married in Hawaii in just two months. She told me I had to be there and nine at nine months pregnant.

You’re gonna demand that your sister’s there. Yeah, right. I wished her well, but explained it wasn’t possible. I’d be two weeks past my due date and couldn’t travel. I ended up giving a, giving birth a week late. She was furious and didn’t speak to me for a month. This girl is so immature. So immature, and the parents are allowing it.

I mean, I don’t know how old they are now, but. She’s never going to be responsible for her own actions. If the parents are constantly giving her excuses. Here’s the kicker, she’s a doctor. She knew perfectly well that traveling then was impossible for me. So if she’s a doctor, she’s gotta be at least what, mid to late twenties.

How long are you in medical school for? Isn’t it like eight years or something? 12 years, 10 years? I don’t know. I’m not a doctor, so I don’t know. But that is wild to me, this whole story is wild to me and it, it’s more wild. Like I just, I’m currently in this, well, by the time this comes out, I’ll probably be done with it, but the Tina and me ski.

Was based on a true story that someone sent me, um, very based like, or very inspired, loosely inspired, like the first episode where they really, um, idolized one sister over the other. They did everything for this one engagement and not the other. They got mad. I don’t know, all these crazy things, right? And people are commenting like, parents are really like this, this is terrible. And I’m like, I read this story and I’m like, yep. They are. That is to just like put one on a pedestal and the other one’s just like, no, like your sister’s going through a hard time. I dunno. That’s wild.

When Your Husband’s Friend Tries to Steal the Spotlight

All right guys, we got one more story. We got so much more fun in our way. Okay, let’s go story number two.

About a year after meeting my now husband, I went to one of his dance performances when I’m, where I met a dozen of his friends for the first time. One girl in particular, let’s call her Sabrina, immediately stood out. These are all changed names. She was loud, obnoxious, and constantly gossiping about people she didn’t even know.

When we entered the theater, she insisted on sitting right in the middle of our group. It wasn’t the best seat, but it was the one that guaranteed she’d be the center of attention. She didn’t say a single word to me, and anytime someone asked me a question, she talked over me. My first impression not good.

Yeah, I would say not good either. I’ve, I’ve met people like that before. They don’t like when a new girl is brought into the mix because they’re not the center of attention anymore. They fast forward a couple of years. We all went on a weekend trip, about 20 people. The friend group plus partners. I hadn’t seen Sabrina since that first meeting.

Oh wow. A couple years later. Wow. Okay. And she was exactly as I remembered, always needing the spotlight. That night we played a game where you had to catch the liars on the opposing team. There were special roles and coincidentally, I ended up paired with my boyfriend. He had a power that let him check someone’s card each round.

And he announced, I saw Sabrina’s card. She’s a liar. When the voting came out, I said, I’m voting against her because my partner saw her card. Without missing a beat, Sabrina snapped back. Oh, so you believe him? Like when he said, like when he tells you he loves you this, Ooh, this girl’s, wow. She must have like a crush on him or something.

I was boiling inside, but I managed to smile and say, you know what? Nevermind now I’m voting against you because you made it personal. Oh, I love it. Okay. The room went silent. Everyone voted against her, and she was eliminated loudly, angry about it. Of course, I went straight to bed, furious that neither my partner nor anyone else defended me.

The next morning she approached me with a half-hearted apology. So my boyfriend said, I was really mean to you yesterday. I don’t know when, but Sorry. No, that’s not an apology. Sorry. After that, I avoided her as much as possible. I skipped the group gatherings and the one time I tried to go, I caught COVID, so I took it as a sign that my body really did not want me to be there.

I would too. I’d be like, okay, thanks, universe. When my husband and I got engaged, I made it clear I would never force him to cut Sabrina out since they’d been friends since kindergarten. That is really nice. Maybe a little nicer than me, and I’m a pretty nice person, but if someone were to consistently not be very nice to me and put me down or put my relationship down, I would not give ’em the same courtesy.

I just saw a thing on, on social media the other day. I hope I don’t butcher this, but it says, stop being considerate for people that don’t even consider you. So there’s a little reminder to everybody out there, especially as people pleasers, we want to consider people, or if they hurt our feelings, we just are, we’re just like, oh, wait, maybe they didn’t mean it.

No, stop. Stop being considerate. A people that didn’t consider you, she couldn’t even apologize. Um, anyways, so she said she wouldn’t force him to cut her out because they were friends in since kindergarten, but he shouldn’t expect me to interact with her. I even joked that she’d pull something dramatic at the wedding, like wear white or have her boyfriend propose in the middle of it.

My wedding dress was a true princess gown, layers of pink and white tool green lace shaped like leaves. Oh my gosh, I wanna see this dress sounds beautiful. And glittering. Floral details. On our wedding website and invitations, we clearly stated, white is reserved for the bride. Ooh, okay. I’ve never seen it like that.

I love that you’re just upfront. Put it right on the invitation. I wasn’t worried about anyone confusing me with someone else, but I didn’t want photos where the attention could be stolen. Makes sense. So the big day arrives. Oh no. Oh no. We do our first look full of excitement. Then go to greet our guest before the ceremony.

Who’s the very first person I see Sabrina. And what is she wearing? A long flowy white gown. What is with both of these stories, having people in the, not in the wedding or the bride wearing a white dress, and not just a white dress, a white gown,

that is wild. This is someone asking for a fight or asking for the detention be stolen. I wonder how long she was with her boyfriend for? Maybe it was something where she was mad that she wasn’t proposed to first. Ooh, this is wild, you guys. Okay. I said wild. We should do a, a tracker of how many times I say wild.

I’ve noticed more and more I say it like all the time. The best part, my husband finally saw her for what she is. He apologized profusely to me and the photographers without me even asking, cropped her out of all the photos whenever possible. There’s only one group shot of the friends and my husband without me, where she’s actually, where she actually looks like the bride.

We decided the best way to quote unquote punish her was silence. No confrontation. No drama. Just be ignored when all she wanted was to be the center of attention. And honestly, that was the sweetest justice of all. I love that. Okay. I said one time in a, in, I think it was a podcast. The mother-in-law was gonna wear white, like told her daughter-in-law that I bought a white dress for your wedding.

’cause it’s the only color I look good in. And my response was, one of the things you could do is just ignore it. And so many people in the comments were like, ignore it. Oh, I’m not ignoring it. Oh, that’s exactly, you know that you’re giving her what she wants. Someone, this made such a good point. Someone like this is wanting, wanting to stir the pot. They wanna cause a scene. They want people to notice them. They want the bride to feel inferior. And if you don’t feed into it, you don’t say anything. You don’t acknowledge it or have other people look or point or say anything. You’re not giving them what they want. They’re actually gonna leave mad because no one noticed.

I love that. I love that. And then only post photos that she’s not in. Okay. I’m getting petty now, but actually is it petty? No, she was petty first. This, this, I can’t even get a sentence out because I’m just so, I can’t believe how both stories had someone showing up in white. These need be skits. Oh my gosh.

You guys, um, you guys need to like. If you’re listening to this whole thing, I need to know all your thoughts. Go to YouTube, go to Instagram, go to TikTok. Comment your thoughts after you listen to this because these are just crazy. These are crazy. See, I had a different word.

Mother-in-Laws, Bad Photos & Drunk Maids of Honor

Okay. As promised, I’m gonna end this episode. Sorry, I’m fidgeting with my hair so much. If you’re watching this, um, I’m gonna end these EPIs this episode with some confessions. These are pretty wild. Okay. Here we go. At the end, mother-in-law wore white and black to our wedding with a huge black hat. The white. I have more of a problem with. I, I remember reading a story years ago, uh, where the mother-in-law wore black to the wedding, like all black.

And I was like, oh my gosh. Like they’re dressed to a funeral. Like their husband or their husband, their son’s being taken away from them. Right. But I was thinking about it. I’m like, I’ve worn black to formal weddings before, like a formal black dress. I’ve worn black jumpsuits to weddings before, so I don’t think black is actually considered that bad, but it’s where she wore our huge black hat and then a white and black dress because we don’t know the style of the dress, but.

Also, if someone’s saying this, like a bride’s saying this, my guess is there’s some kind of issue already between them. Because again, if you have a good relationship with someone and they showed up like that, you’d be like, oh, cool. Pretty dress. But if it’s someone that’s already got an issue with you, then they’re making a statement.

Okay. My cousin was my sister’s photographer. He didn’t give her the pictures for two years and they turned out awful. Yeah. No, we don’t do family for vendors. We just don’t. If they insist you say, I want you there as a guest, I already have a photographer because I’ve heard so many horror stories about people choosing photographers for their wedding.

Um, that’s a family member or, um, and I wouldn’t count like officiant from the story early from my day of coordinating story earlier because that’s, I think that’s a more personal thing. They can just do it and be done. Right. But a photographer, you need someone that’s really devoted as fully a photographer.

Like that’s their profession, not just like a little side gig. Someone that’s gonna take a few photos on their iPhone, um, or just starting out. Okay. Okay. This one’s like a three part one. She said, my fiance’s best man peer pressured him into asking him to be the best man. Anytime he did anything for my fiance, unrelated to the wedding, he said, this is, this is best man’s sh*t right here.

You better ask me. We get married in nine months. That’s awkward. I mean.

I don’t know. I don’t know how to respond to that. I feel like, yeah, maybe they can make subtle hints that they wanna be your best man, but it’s up to you. You have the power. You could ultimately have the power if they’re your friend. Sure. But if they keep just making comments like that, you are like, oh, I already have someone else planned.

Okay. This one’s weird. Okay. Best friend’s mother-in-law asked for a mother, son renewal vows on their wedding. Mother-in-law had it. Best friend divorced him. Wait, the mom wanted to renew vows on their wedding day. I need, I need more context to this. This is wild. This is so wild. I need more words. Help me come up with more words.

I say amazing. And I say wild and I say crazy a ton. Help me come up with more words. Um, maybe help me out and just comment on YouTube. Just use some different words so I can get them in my vocabulary. ’cause when I find what, I just stick to that and that’s what we’re using for the next month. Um, so yeah, I don’t get it.

She asked, she wanted vow renewals with her son, just like to prove that she’s the mom. I don’t understand.

All right. Oh, last one. My sister and mother-in-law. Okay. No, my sister slash maid of honor got drunk before the ceremony. She was a sh*t show half the day. Yeah. Alcohol can be a big problem at weddings. I’m sure. We’ve got tons of alcohol stories that people have sent me in. I’ve seen it a few times. Few times I’ve seen it lots of times.

You get the people that are like fun and drunk or buzz at the weddings and like they’re just dancing. Like, yeah. If you know you cannot handle your liquor, hold off till the reception, till your duties are done. If you have any slight, slight question about it. Although anyone that’s gonna like not think they have a problem. Is not going to be like, I’m gonna wait. They’re gonna be like, I can be fun. So yeah, that kind of sucks when it happens like that.

Alright guys, well that’s all I have this week. Don’t forget to send me your confessions on social media on Mondays. We do unpopular opinions On Fridays, we do, uh, your confessions, so hold onto those cool confessions.

Sometimes we have different themes, but otherwise I can’t wait to read ’em. Of course, always send me your wedding story submissions. They can be wedding proposal, engagement, dating, friendship, whatever stories we’re, we’re gonna open our horizons a little bit. Um, feel free to tell me your stories. Um, and I think that’s all I got for you guys.

Thank you so much for hanging out with me. Don’t forget, you can now order my book. Here comes the Drama Affairs and Sloan story, wherever you get books. And when I say wherever, it’s not really wherever. It’s like Amazon, Cobo, Barnes and Noble IngramSpark. Yeah. Um, and don’t forget to tag me on social media if you have read it.

Um, and you tagged me at party planning by Krista for a chance to be featured on my page. I had a total like brain fart just now. I was like, what am I talking about? Where am I? This is, this is how my brain has been. I just love you guys. I’m so grateful for this podcast. I’m so grateful for you guys and for, um, the ability to be able to do this.

So thank you so much and I’ll see you guys next time. Bye now.

by Christa Innis

Makeup Artist Drama, Reality TV, and Toxic Bridesmaid Who Ruins the Wedding with Antoinette

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

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What kind of bridesmaid shows up in white to your bridal shower… with her mom in a matching “bride” sash?

Christa and Antoinette start off with some fun chatter about Antoinette’s heroic job before jumping into the wild tale of Erica, the bridesmaid who just couldn’t stand not being the center of attention. From sulking on a pontoon boat to hijacking the bridal shower, her jealousy turned every moment into a spectacle.

This episode is full of outrageous behavior, red flags in friendships, and lessons on boundaries, jealousy, and protecting your peace while planning your big day.

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Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

01:59 Discovering Antoinette on TikTok

02:25 Balancing Nursing and TikTok

03:27 First Viral Content: Love Island

05:03 Reality TV and Pop Culture Commentary

06:14 The Rise of Love Is Blind

10:42 TikTok Drama and Content Creation

25:22 Nursing Career and Personal Insights

28:30 Wedding Stories and Hot Takes

41:55 Unexpected Skit Request

42:22 Reality TV and Bridal Parties

43:00 Wedding Expectations and Realities

45:44 Rapid Fire Wedding Questions

49:52 Wild Wedding Story: Erica’s Drama

01:09:58 Reflecting on Toxic Friendships

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

Jealous Bridesmaid – Erica sulks during a boat ride after hearing about her friend’s engagement, igniting a downward spiral of jealousy.
Disrespectful Comments – The moment Erica’s jealousy flares when she makes a rude comment about the bride’s proposal ring.
Bridal Shower Drama – Erica shows up in white at the bride’s bridal shower, making the event all about herself.
Bachelorette Trip Tantrum – Erica and her boyfriend’s constant complaints and early departure from the bachelorette weekend.
Bridal Shower Exit – Erica leaves the shower early with an excuse, hinting at deeper unresolved issues.
Blocked & Uninvited – After a final confrontation, Erica blocks the bride and bridesmaids, effectively ending the friendship.
Red Flags & Final Decisions – The bride reflects on the red flags in Erica’s behavior and why she should have cut ties earlier.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“Some friendships are just meant to be a chapter, not the whole book.” – Christa Innis
“When a bridesmaid makes it all about herself, that’s a red flag bigger than your wedding dress.” – Christa Innis
“Jealousy isn’t the problem, how you act on it is what matters.” – Christa Innis
“Your wedding is for celebration, not for managing other people’s insecurities.” – Christa Innis
“If a friend’s making your big day miserable, it might be time to reconsider the friendship.” – Christa Innis
“Jealousy is just information. How you handle it is the real test.” – Antoinette
“If you’re not happy for your friend, maybe it’s time for some self-reflection.” – Antoinette
“A true friend would never make your moment about their own issues.” – Antoinette
“There’s no timeline for happiness. Every couple moves at their own pace.” – Antoinette
“At the end of the day, it’s your wedding. Not a competition.” – Antoinette

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

About Antoinette:

Meet Antoinette (@msrazzledazzle), your reality TV and pop culture bestie. With over 37K followers and 3.2 million likes on TikTok, she’s built a vibrant community around her sharp takes, playful commentary, and unapologetic love for all things drama. From Love Island to Black Mirror, Antoinette dives into the juiciest corners of reality TV with wit, warmth, and a dash of razzle-dazzle. Whether she’s spilling tea or breaking down the latest season of Summer House, she brings a voice that’s both relatable and razor-sharp.

Follow Antoinette:

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

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A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi Antoinette. Thank you for coming on.

Antoinette: Hi. Excited to have, thank you for having me. I was gonna say, excited to have you.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh.

Antoinette: Thank you.

Christa Innis: I have been so, I’ve, I’ve been so guilty of saying stuff like that. Like I remember years ago going to like the movie theater and asking them like, or no, you order like food or something, and they’re like, enjoy your movie.

And you’re like, thanks, you too.

Antoinette: Yeah, right.

It’s just like you’re on autopilot a lot of times. You’re like, oh, you too. Oh, you too.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. It literally happens all the time. I’m just like, yeah. And it’s funny now, like my daughter’s too, but there’s times where I’m like, oh, um. Like, what was, how, I don’t even, I’ll ask a question. She just goes, good. And I’m like, well, that’s like if someone says, how are you? But it’s just like, it’s funny.

Anyways, thank you for coming on. I’m excited to have you here. Um, I know we were talking before that I just, I, I found you on TikTok. I love your content, your banter, if you will. Um, and I think that’s just like perfect for this, um, for this podcast.

Um, so you are a labor and delivery nurse by day and you banter about pop culture at night. I mean, I don’t know if it’s necessarily at night. Tell us a little more about yourself. You, and, um, I’d love to hear more.

Antoinette: I am a day nurse. ’cause you know, there are some people who only do night shifts. I am, I’m a day girly.

Okay. I can’t, I can’t do the night shift stuff. So I am a labor and delivery nurse by day, but we do like 12 hour shifts, so I’m not working every day, but I do. Um, so it’s basically like three to four days a week that I am a labor and delivery nurse. And then basically at night or the days I have off, I do, um.

Or if I have a break or more of my breaks if I try to fit it in there, you know?

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Um, but yeah, that’s, um, then I’ll do my TikTok stuff, which, um, I actually only started a year ago. Um, my fiance was like, I loved watching reality tv, and then I was always searching for other people’s takes and stuff, and then also like calling my friends and being like, oh my God, da da da dah.

And then also telling him like, um, because he also watches with me now, so like, then I’m like, oh my God, blah, blah, blah. And he’s like, well, I mean, you’re always searching for it. You’re always watching people’s takes. Like, why don’t you like, do your own? And I was like, mm-hmm. Okay. Like, yeah, why not? So.

Christa Innis: Yes.

Antoinette: Yeah. And then it, the really fun.

The Reality TV Chaos Behind the Scenes

Christa Innis: What was, what was the first like, show or thing in pop culture that like either really took off or the first like content you made about, do you remember?

Antoinette: So the first content I made about was actually Love Island season six.

Christa Innis: Oh, okay.

Antoinette: Yeah. And uh, it honestly like, really, ’cause I was getting really revved up because I felt like people were like really misunderstanding Serena and being like, oh, she doesn’t like Cordell.

And I was like, I think she does, I think she’s just like really protecting herself. Um, and so then I I, I was like feeling fired up about it and I was like, okay, fine, I’m gonna do it on this one. Um, but I feel like something that, like, I feel the season it wasn’t Love Island that like, I think really spearheaded things.

Like, for me, like, I think I got a lot of exposure during The Love Is Blind DC um,

Christa Innis: Ooh, I’m trying, yeah. I, I watched Love Is Blind. Trying to remember who, who was on that one.

Antoinette: Um, uh, Lier. Uh, we call him. I, um, Tyler, is it Tyler? I feel like I’m not, I only call him Lier, but like, because he lied. Oh my God. He like had those three children and it was like, there was all this drama about like, um, how he had these two children, but he called them sper donors and then his fiance like, believed him and like there was all like, and then his baby mama came out to be like, no.

Like, the first one was a sperm donor situation, but the other two were not. Like, we made those ourselves.

Christa Innis: Wow.

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: I must have stopped right before that season ’cause they don’t look familiar to me. I just.

Antoinette: Okay.

Christa Innis: I like religiously watched it in the beginning and then like, I think I watched the first three seasons and then I just like shot. There’s like, oh my God, there’s a new season. Wait, there’s a new season. It was wild.

Antoinette: There’s so many, like it’s so, honestly I feel like there’s like almost three feels like, but I think there’s like two seasons a year. That’s what. I think there’s like two seasons a year, but it feels like there’s three. Like I feel like there’s always one coming out.

Christa Innis: There’s always, yeah. Because I think if you like sleep on it for a little bit, all of a sudden there’s another one.

Antoinette: Yeah. Yeah. Netflix is really on their zoom with it, honestly. Yeah.

Christa Innis: And the first one came out in like 2020. Right. Because I feel like I remember being locked down.

Antoinette: Yes.

Christa Innis: And I was like, I’m about to binge watch this show. I care what it is. It was that in Tiger King that I was like, what’s going my.

Antoinette: Oh my God. Yes. Oh my God. I forgot about that. That was so good.

Christa Innis: That was wild. My husband and I were just like, what is this?

Antoinette: That was insane. Oh, that was good tea. That was good tv. And we weren’t doing anything like we were locked in.

Christa Innis: We were living for, yeah, we were living for like, like.

Antoinette: You said, like any morsel.

Christa Innis: Yes.

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. The, the pods. ’cause they must have started. Because I feel like the pods were because of COVID. I don’t know, maybe it was written before that. I don’t know.

But those, I dunno, man. I feel like it really took off because of like, everyone was at home just watching TV and then they’re like, what’s this show? Okay, I guess we’ll watch it. And then it just blew you up on so.

Antoinette: And then blew up. And then Lauren and Cameron, I mean they’re still like the the, what’s it called?

Christa Innis: Yes. I love them.

Antoinette: You know, they’re just so, and now you know, Lauren’s pregnant, so that’s just so beautiful.

Christa Innis: Honestly, they’re just so that I love them. Yeah, from the beginning. ’cause they were just so like, and I always feel like the first season, they’re the most like real because they’re not in it all for the tv. ‘Cause they don’t know how big the show’s gonna be. They’re like, well let’s try it out. But seasons after, I feel like people just sign up. ’cause they’re like, oh, I’m gonna get social media famous.

Antoinette: A hundred percent. And we’re like really seeing that now, especially like. I, I think it was Love is blind. You really want them to be genuine because like, you’re gonna get married.

Like, you know, and I think some of these other ones, dating ones, it’s like, it doesn’t necessarily fully have to be genuine, but like, I do think a lot of them, like love is love island. I do think people, you know, people wanna be influencers, like, you know, but at the same time they’re pretty young and you’re not thinking of marriage or just thinking of dating.

So they could actually end up liking each other and dating. And it doesn’t have to be like, but like with Love is Blind. I do think people are like, they wanna be influencers, but then it’s like you end up having to think about like, are you willing to get engaged and married to somebody just to be an influencer?

That’s pretty big.

Christa Innis: That’s wild.

Antoinette: Yeah. The concept is wild to me. Like when they were like moving them into these apartments together, I was like, you don’t this, you don’t know this guy. Like

what are you doing? Nothing about them. You don’t just what they told you on the other side. Just like what we found about life.

Like, you know, nothing. Mm-hmm. Like whatever they decide to tell you. And I do think there’s a lot of people who like. In these later seasons into finding out some really messed up stuff. Really? And like, like one of the girls, I think on UK like Sabrina, she was like, he didn’t even have his own place. Like he was living with like roommates and then he like wasn’t even willing to go, like they were living in different parts of the uk.

He wasn’t even willing to go, go see her. But like, he couldn’t even afford to, so she didn’t even know that like, oh wait, like you actually really like aren’t in a place. I mean, it’s one thing if you like start dating someone and you know, they’re like financial status, but like, I really do think they should check.

I was like, are you even in, even in a place to be married, you know, to like, to put somebody first to even financially support yourself. Like in a good well, or like, not, there’s anything wrong with having roommates, but you know what I mean? Like, yeah. Like this guy I think was like 37 and like she, I think he didn’t really give all those details, which I think a lot of people would assume at three seven, like, okay, you might not have everything together, but you probably financially

are.

Christa Innis: A little more.

Antoinette: A little bit more

Christa Innis: established.

Antoinette: Established, yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: I think, or at least like con like. Communicate about like, Hey, I had some financial issues, or This is what’s going on here. Because there was that other guy, I don’t know what season this was, maybe two or three, where they got like towards the end and it came out. He had all this debt and there was something like he was lying about, I can’t remember their names, I can’t remember their names, but I know what you’re talking about.

We weren’t like parody a lot.

Antoinette: Social media. I know what you’re talking about. Wait, shoot. Uh, I don’t remember. Yeah, I dunno means there, but yeah, but there’s that too. And it’s like if you get married, your dad, your dad is their dad. Like so that can really mess somebody stuff up.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. That was, oh, there wa one of the first couples, Barnett.

Antoinette: Yeah. Amber and Barnett. Amber, yeah.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. They, that was something like, she was like, Hey, I have a lot of debt, and they like moved in together. He had a, he had a house already, but I think he like sold it to help pay for the debt. I mean, as far as I know, they’re still together, so, I mean.

Antoinette: Yeah. And they have a kid like, and they were like.

Christa Innis: Oh, I didn’t know that.

Antoinette: Yeah. They were child and everything and she, yeah, she, but she was upfront about it. Yeah, they, she, she was upset about it, so like, or married. So it’s one of those things where it’s like, if you know all that stuff and you’re still willing, then that’s, that’s one thing. Like she was upfront about it. He was still willing.

So it’s like, okay, cool. That’s, that’s on you, you know?

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like reality TV is just like wild to me. I feel like Bachelor, I used to watch Bachelor pretty regularly too, and then I kind of just like, then Bachelor in Paradise was like fun ’cause they all come together.

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: But I’ve kind of slowly stopped watching because I feel like they always just go on to be like, influencers and I’m just like, I don’t know.

I can’t really get into it anymore. It’s just.

Antoinette: Yeah. I honestly have never, I mean, I keep trying for mo mostly for content. Like, every time it comes out I’m like, okay, I’m gonna try and I just can’t get into it. So it’s like, you’ll, you’ll probably see every, you’ll probably see me, make me make one post and then just nothing else because I’m like, I just can’t get into it.

Like, I feel like it’s so overly produced too, and it just feels so fake. Like. You found 20 men or 20 women that are interested in this one person. Mm-hmm. Not saying that they couldn’t all necessarily, but like you didn’t, it’s not like they met this person. They were like, oh, the, you, they, the 20 people met this person, or you had them meet like a hundred people and these are the 20 that were like, oh, I’m actually interested in this person.

Like, you just found 20 people or whatever. Mm-hmm. I was like, it just doesn’t feel organic and then it’s just vying for one person. It just feels weird, honestly. Like.

Christa Innis: Totally.

Antoinette: I love dating shows, but that one, that’s just one I can’t get into.

Christa Innis: Yeah, no, and you make it such a good point because, and it, it brings me back, ’cause again, I haven’t watched probably in like five plus seasons.

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: But it’s like, they’re like, oh, he’s my dream guy, she’s my dream girl. And I’m like, you would’ve said that about any person they brought on as a bachelor master. Right. And be no unbeknownst to you, like last season they were a nobody. You know what I’m saying? Like, they came on as like a random person too. It’s like exactly. I dunno.

Antoinette: I was like, you literally know nothing about these people. Uh, most of ’em don’t even get like, really a lot of screen time. So it’s like you just saw like a couple dates with whoever they were with on last season, and then now you’re like, that’s your dream person. Like. You don’t know anything about them, like Yeah, and I feel like we also saw that with Jen, like obviously like ev, all those men basically didn’t even know it was gonna be Jen.

They thought it was gonna be, what’s her name, that other, that other girl that was like really famous on Joey’s season. They all thought it was gonna be a. Somebody a different bachelorette, and that set her up for complete failure, honestly. Like, and then, ugh, that scammer Devin, like that was whole, I mean, like, I like tried to, but I was like, I mostly was like scrolling, watching things because, because I was like, I keep up with it, but I’m like, I can’t watch a whole episode.

And I, I literally can’t.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I know every once in I went.

Antoinette: You’re like two hours long too. I’m like, ah, Jesus.

Christa Innis: I know it’s, well, there’ll be like three hour season finale and I’m like, who’s got the time?

Antoinette: But why? And most of it’s not even needed. I was like, okay, this really could have been cut down.

Christa Innis: Literally.

Antoinette: Like, there’s just like a lot of different montages with like music. It’s just so gimmicky.

Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s literally them picking out rings, walking down the street through tears in their eyes, picking out their dress. And I’m like, Ugh, come on. She’s like, speed it up. Speed it up. Please. We can do this all in 10 minutes.

Let’s just tell us who picked who she picked. Yes, I know. It’s wild. Like I just, yeah. I. Props with anyone that goes on. I just, that’s just not, yeah. Not my cup of tea. That’s why I like Bachelor in Paradise better. So I have a confession. I’ve never watched Love Island. Oh, it’s everywhere. But this last season makes me wanna watch because the, the viral like sounds and stuff.

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: But maybe I should try it. I’ve had people tell me to watch it.

Antoinette: I think you should. I think I would watch, like, watch season six of the U of USA. Okay. I think season five and season six of USA are really good. Um, the uk I also think season five of UK is really, really, really good. Okay. Um, UK It started in uk so there’s like a lot more seasons.

Um, even Love Island Australia, I can’t remember what season. It wasn’t the latest one I think, or it was the one before last was really, really good. So I do, I really love, love Island. I feel like it’s just. Like, you know, people are on there to be influencers, but it’s also just like a dating show. You know?

Like, I mean, they’re all dating shows, but you know what I mean? But it’s also just like, uh, people being there. They get to meet each other, they get to, and like, there are definitely, you’re gonna, like, a lot of them are good looking. You’re gonna like somebody, you know what I mean? They all, and then there’s just like more like organic drama as well as they don’t allow them to get drunk.

Like the, each day they get like maybe this amount of alcohol. That’s it. Okay. I like that. Um, so it also feels like not, so you’re not as worried about some of the, like, you know what I’m talking about? Like, uh, possible things that can happen if people are like inebriated, like, you know, that they’re making decisions sober.

Um, especially if there’s anything like sexual that goes on, right. Especially because with that, you know, you do end up in there, they do end up sleeping in the same bed as the guy, as a couple that they choose and all that stuff. So, um, and they do seem to have, like, even though I feel like this season in the USA, they did not do very good job of like really doing background checks. There’s a lot of racial stuff coming out. Um.

Christa Innis: I did think that about someone.

Antoinette: Yeah. So they really haven’t like, done good background checks on people, but like in general, I do think they have some pretty cool things in place, like consent wise, like there, there’s just a light that they have in the back of the bed.

Like, so if things start happening, both people have to press it to be like, I consent to what’s happening. And if it’s not pressed, then production gets involved in like no stuff.

Christa Innis: Oh, okay. That’s a good step. Because I remember hearing years ago, like bachelor, something like happened on one of the shows and they like limit them now to certain alcohol too, because people would be like getting inebriated and saying stuff or doing inappropriate things.

Um, that was a bachelor in Paradise thing too. I remember. They were like, oh, we’re only allowed to have like. Two drinks an hour or one drink an hour maybe. Oh, wow. Because yeah, you see, yeah.

Antoinette: With them it’s literally one glass and that’s it.

Christa Innis: Wow.

Antoinette: Like there’s, there’s a whole usually scenes at night where like there, or sometimes at night where you’ll see a scene where they like, are all going up to this table and it’s just like, there’s drinks sitting out already with like a little umbrella.

And that’s, that’s their serving of their alcohol, who they get.

Christa Innis: Okay.

Antoinette: Well that’s, I know. I was like, that’s, I, I just think it’s like, it makes you feel a little bit better, but not that like, there’s not any, some type of like, oh my God, these like crappy men on here, whatever. Right, right. But I was like, well, now you know that this person’s.

Crappy sober. Okay. Like they, they’re just.

Christa Innis: He got no excuse. No, no. I know. It’s crappy.

Antoinette: It’s not a drunk child. This is who this person is. Okay.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think that sounds better too when there’s like multiple, like couple possibilities and not just like one guy and a million girls and vice versa.

Yeah.

Um, and I feel like it also gives like the bachelor, bachelorette or whatever type of show it is when there’s just one guy fending for all these women. It gives them like this like false sense of like, oh, I’m the hottest guy in the room at all times. And it’s like, you’re the only guy, like they would find a rock hot next to you.

Antoinette: You know what I’m saying? Honestly though, like the, the only reason this is working, working is ’cause a, a scarcity mindset that is literally fabricated for this show. Yeah. If you were in any other situation, there would be plenty of other options. Like you are literally the only option that they’ve given.

Yes. So they are, they have to fight for you to stay on the show. Like, remember that? Yes. Like this is like, remember that they’re fighting to stay on the show. Okay.

Christa Innis: Yeah. They’re deprived of any other men, so they’re like, well, this is my dream. Yeah. It’s so, this is my dream man because he’s only man. Oh my God, that’s so funny.

I, yeah, I feel like we would just think too, too logically about that to be on, on a show.

Sisterly Showdown at the Bouquet Toss: Wedding Drama You Won’t Believe!

Okay. So. A little more back about your content. Like what kind of, so I know you’re kind of, you were always talking about your own banter and couldn’t really find anyone that talked about it the way you did. So when did you kind of start seeing it, like take off and do you remember like the first video that really like blew up or, uh, and you said you talked about Love Island, but like, was there one type of content that you’re like, this is it, like people are really connecting or resonating with what I’m saying?

Antoinette: Um, I feel, I mean like Love Island, I started, I feel like I do really feel like it was like love is Blind that like that season that, um, and I think even for me Too, I was around then, like I started like last August. Mm-hmm.

Like around last august for season six and then I. We’re still posting and stuff, but it wasn’t really like, I think last October was when That Love Is Blind came out October, November.

Um, and that’s also when I felt like I was also taking it more like, okay, I’m gonna post every day. I’m gonna like, really, really cover this whole season, you know? ’cause I didn’t even fully cover the whole season of Love Island. Uh, love Island season six. So with the elevens blind season seven, I was like, okay, I’m really gonna, like, I’m gonna post every day.

I’m gonna like, you know, and so I was like also being more intentional about posting. And so I don’t remember what Post was like went, but it, I do remember all of a sudden, like my views started going up. And then also I went from like, I feel like a thousand to like 10,000, like within, within that like between like end of October and November.

Um, and that’s when like, I. Like, like blew, blew up. Like, and I felt like then people were really like also sending me things like, oh, I need to know your take. I need to, and so I got started getting more of that, being like, oh, we haven’t, like, did you see this? Did you see that? Like, and people writing those type of comments, um, or like getting tagged in other people’s videos, like, you know, for certain stuff.

So yeah, I, it was definitely that, that, um, that I felt like I, I started to get a little bit more known and a little bit more, um, like settled in like my like niche or my niche and like my persona, you know?

Christa Innis: Yeah. So do you have any shows that you, like currently watch that you kind of, that you wish more people knew about so you could like commentate on them more? Or are you mainly in the reality like love dating show type?

Antoinette: Um, I mean, I watch a lot of different tv honestly. So like, um, I mean, like, I mostly comment on reality tv. Yeah. Um, and mostly like the, yeah. The loved ones. I try to get into the gaming ones. Like I tried to get into Big, big Brother. Mm-hmm. I just like, it’s, I don’t really understand it, you know, like, and it is also like, there seems to be so much going on, like, so I, I tried this and, and it, it failed.

I don’t know, it didn’t work out for me, but I’m gonna try again. Another, because I really, everyone watches Big Brother. I’m like, I really wanna understand it. Um, okay. But let me answer your question.

Christa Innis: Special Forces.

Antoinette: Special Forces. I haven’t watched that.

Christa Innis: No. I feel like you would like it. It’s like reality, but it’s so like. It’s intense. Like, and there’s reality. Okay, so it’s reality stars put on a competition show, so they’re competing to win special forces. And like they’ve had people like, like Hannah Brown or Nick Vile, or, I’m trying to think of other people. They’re bachelors, but like other, like, there’s, um, celebrities.

Um, so the woman that dated like Travis Kelsey, um, like ca what’s her name? Casey, gosh not, I think of her name. Kayla, Kayla, Nicole. So like, she was on, so like, people like that are big, like celebrities, um, athletes, reality TV stars, and they compete and it’s like really tough competition. They work with actual people from special forces and it’s like intense.

It’s good though ’cause you get the drama, but you also get, like, you see them like. Trying their best to like win at this competition.

Antoinette: Yeah. Ooh, okay. I will have to check that out. I mean, like, I love anything with like drama, honestly. Yeah. I mean, also, like a lot of times on my content, I do like random TikTok drama.

Like, you know, like I, I think there’s also a lot stuff there that like randomly gets flown up for. Like, like I did the Louis Vuitton dress chocolate Louis Vuitton chocolate Yes. Drama. Um, and the girl with the, the dermatology thing that happened, that was like not washing her face, not doing anything. Her

Christa Innis: Yes. Whatever happened with that, was that out?

Antoinette: Um, she got a deal with Sarah V and started washing her face, basically.

Christa Innis: I could not tell if this was like a, um, what’s it called? Where they try to get people mad. What’s it called? Uh.

Antoinette: Rage bait.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I couldn’t tell if it was rage bait.

Antoinette: I couldn’t, I couldn’t either. Part of me feels like it was like, but then they also found like an old post, like a year ago of her having done the same thing, like, but from Reddit. So I don’t know. But Sarah v got involved and like got her to put moisturizer on, and then it started falling off, which I’m like, yeah, because you’re putting, it’s like, not like, uh, like yeah, it’s gonna fall off.

Like, but you have literally not touched your face and you’re building up dirt and old skin cells. Like, I mean, that’s, that’s what’s gonna happen. I mean, I also felt, you know what I mean? So it was like, so like I also do stuff like that where like, so my stuff is like, I have a DD, it’s a little bit a DD too, where I’m like, whatever I’m interested in.

Right. Whatever. I’m interested in that moment. Um, but it is definitely more like reality TV drama and then, um, like TikTok type of drama. Yeah. But I am interested in, like right now I’m watching Huntington Wives on Netflix, and I’m, I was thinking about like. Yes,

Christa Innis: I just heard about this. How is it?

Antoinette: It’s so good. Yeah. It’s so, so, so good. And like sometimes I will, like, I don’t always do, I don’t, for me it’s like not, it’s always, not always for views. So like, maybe I won’t get a lot of views on it. ’cause like, that’s not necessarily my main base. But like, um, like even severance, I did, I did a lot of posts on that because I love that show.

Okay. And I just wanted to talk, talk about it. I was like, somebody will, I was like, I just wanna talk about it.

Christa Innis: So people will come across it.

Antoinette: And yeah, some people will come across it, but like, yeah. So I do watch other things and so I, I guess, yeah, I guess sometimes I do wish that, like, I think it’s hard with the algorithm or from, or whatever, but like I could.

Like, find more people, it would be easier for people to find me that if I’m like doing stuff outside of the, like, reality tv, TikTok, drama, when I, when I am making those con those contents.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. It’s hard to know like what’s gonna like, take off or what people are gonna like, resonate with. Yeah. But that like TikTok drama stuff, man, that like, it goes like fast.

It’s like you gotta like hop on it fast because before you know it, if I don’t, don’t scroll for a couple days. ’cause sometimes like there’s like weeks where I just post and I’m like, I, I don’t have time to scroll or whatever. Yeah. Scroll. I’m like, wait, what’s this drama with so-and-so, what does she do to her?

And I’m like, okay, I have to find out who these people are. It’s wild.

Antoinette: Yes, yes. And some people are really, really on it. And I, and I know for me there’s, at first like I try to like for, you know, I have my. You know, some people it’s a little bit easier to do. I know like there’s some people I follow where it’s like, this is their full-time job.

So like they, they can scroll most of the day. And then like, for me it’s like, it’s not so like, I can’t, so like I, it’s like some stuff, like I’ll have some people write and be like, I want your ticket. I was like, I missed it. Like I missed it. I’m sorry. I was like, I literally do not have time right now.

Like, whatever was my schedule at that time, I’m like, I don’t have time to even comment on this. Like, I’m so sorry. Like, I’m catching babies. Like .

****************************************

Christa Innis: You were out there quite literally saving lives being, I know when you first told me you’re a labor and delivery nurse to her, I was like, how do you do it all?

I was like, you were literally an angel on earth. Oh my gosh.

Antoinette: I’m not sleeping very much.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. Like, I, I always knew nurses were amazing people. My grandma was a, was an ER nurse. Oh. And so I’m like, I always like heard about like, you know, working in the ER and everything, but then it’s like once I had my baby and I was like.

These nurses are just incredible. Like, you guys are just like amazing. So how, this is totally side note and everything, but like how did you get into labor and delivery and like, I mean ?

Antoinette: Well, yeah. I mean, so at first, like, my first like nursing job was actually as a transplant nurse. So I worked, um, inpatient for people on, on a unit that just did, um, uh, what was it called?

Kidneys, livers, um, and pancreatic, some lung transplants, things like that. Mm-hmm. Um, but when I was in nursing school and I did my rounds, I like, I was like, when I, we did our labor rounds, I was like, I had like one. One shift where we like actually got to be in like the labor unit. We did a lot on Mother, baby.

Um, and I was like, oh, this is really fun. Like, I thought I would, like really enjoy it, but I was also a little bit scared because, you know, you can, some stats stuff can happen too, like losses and things. And I’m a very empathetic person. Like I’m one of those people, like, I will cry at movies, I’ll cry.

Like thinking about certain things will start to make me cry honestly. Like I, like I fox in the hound. Even just thinking about them talk will make me cry like you did. So I, I like really empathize very well with people. Like, so I, I was a little bit nervous, so like when I went to go get my first nursing job, I was like, I actually did apply for labor, but then I turned it down because I was like, I don’t know if I can handle it if something happened.

Like, but then I kept thinking about it and I kept thinking about it. Um, so then I was like, okay, I just need to do it. So then I stayed in the same hospital, but I just ended up applying and like, but it was basically ’cause I just kept thinking about it and I was like, I’m like just. I’m really interested.

Like, I was like, obviously I should like just do it then. Um, and so then, you know, it has been really good. Obviously when sad things happened, it says still really like, you know, touch me. Um, but I am able to deal with it. Uh, but like, you know, like everybody, there’s, it just is something that happens, but there’s just so many beautiful moments that happen.

There’s so, it’s so many, like being able to be there for women when they’re going through this, um, or be there for mothers, you know, not everyone identifies as women, but like, uh, being there for mothers when they, when they’re going through this, um. It just feels so beautiful and it, I really love being able to support that process, being able to support the baby and like just being there for that whole thing. So.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh, I love that. No, I love hearing like how people got into nursing and stuff and like their department because, um, yeah, like I said, I was just like, I used to work for a mom and baby burn, and so like, I would talk to like, um, nurses and doulas and, and oh, you know, just people in the field and stuff.

So I’m always just so curious about it. I love, I love that, that kind of stuff. Yeah. Just a little, little side note, but yeah, why not?

Antoinette: I love that.

Christa Innis: Okay. Let’s get into the wedding portion of.

Antoinette: Okay. I’m excited. I didn’t know. I love drama. I was let as.

Christa Innis: Yes, we, we live for the drama here. It’s a good, uh, um, mental break from, from the world and all that, but, okay.

So starting off, do you have any like wild wedding stories or wedding stories that come to mind when you, when you first think of weddings?

Antoinette: Okay. Like, it’s not necessarily wild, but I, when it’s about me, then when, and it was something I was like younger, so I don’t even know why I was doing this, but like I, it was during my sister’s. My oldest sister’s wedding, and when it was the throwing the bouquet part, like, you know, we’re all like vying for it. And then it ends up being, I look up and it’s actually me and I’m like pulling, like, pulling, like trying to get this. And I, I think I just locked in. I was like, I don’t even know why. I’m like, I, what, how old was I?

Even like, I feel like I was like 17. Like I was like, I’m next. What was I doing? Like mean? Like, but I was like, I was like, I’m fighting for this. And then I look up and it was actually my other sister, like, so, and everybody else was gone.

Christa Innis: Do you guys actually pull poll at this?

Antoinette: Yes, we were pulling at this. I just feel like we locked in. Like, I don’t even think, I don’t even know what I was thinking, like, but I was like, I’m getting this. I, I got very competitive at the, but we both did apparently. Um, my other sister were sometimes I actually dating somebody, you know, and she was a little bit older so like, you know, like made more sense.

It just made more sense. Um. But it’s so funny to like watch the video ’cause it’s just like everybody else has gone and just watching us like literally pull for this thing and then like we, I look up and I was like, oh. And I let it go. I was like, oh. I was like, so sorry.

Christa Innis: Something just came over me. I’m sorry.

Antoinette: Yeah. I was like, I dunno what’s going on.

Christa Innis: Like, like the sister thing. We’ll just let them

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Figure it out.

Antoinette: Yeah. Gosh.

Christa Innis: I’ve been to weddings where people get pretty like, vicious over like the, the bouquet toss or like push people out the way. And I’m like, yeah guys, so it’s gonna be okay.

Antoinette: It’s, it’s gonna be fine. It’s gonna be fine. I, but sometimes it’s just a competitive nature, you know? That takes over. I, I can’t tell you what I was thinking. I don’t think I was, I think, I think I just had it and I was like, it would.

Christa Innis: You’re like, okay, you can take it.

Antoinette: Yeah. I was like, oh, ooh. My bad dresser.

Christa Innis: It’s so funny ’cause I remember going like to weddings in like my early twenties, so I don’t even know if I was with my now husband yet, but like, I’d be at weddings and like I was in that mind frame where I was like, I don’t wanna get married for a while.

And the bouquet would come and I would just look at it and just step back. Yeah. I’m like, someone else take it. There’s been a few weddings like that where like no one grabs it and I’m like, oh man. We’re all just like.

Antoinette: Yeah. Like everyone’s like, oh, don’t, don’t jinx me. Yeah. Like we’re not

Christa Innis: Times have changed. Yeah, exactly. We’re waiting a little longer these days. No. Um, that’s so funny. Um, oh my gosh. I love that because, uh, it’s one of those things where like people are either like so into like the bouquet toss and garter toss and other people are like, no. Like, I always ask my audience like, what are your unpopular opinions?

And I would say like, I. Most of the time one of those come up as like, don’t do it. Like, people are like, don’t do the garter toss. It’s weird. Don’t do the bouquet toss. It’s starts fights. And I’m just like, it’s interesting how, how the dynamic has kind of changed on those.

Antoinette: Yeah. I do think, like, I think it’s one of those things where I think it can start, right?

But also I think it’s one of those things where like, it’s very easy to like get dangerous really quickly because like, yeah, people are like jumping and like, you know, there could be an elbow. Like, it’s not even like you’re trying to like do, but it’s like, I, I think for my own, I don’t think I probably would do it.

Like, just ’cause I don’t, I don’t know if anyone that’s coming would fight over it, but like, I also just like, don’t want any accident ac you know, any accidents to happen over, like just throwing this thing.

Christa Innis: I know I, I didn’t do them at my wedding and I was just telling someone a while back, but I was like, honestly, like I am not very um. Athletic. Yeah. So I could see myself throwing the bouquet, hitting someone in the face, separation, breaking something. So I’m like, not just not throwing anything.

Antoinette: But it might not even go where everybody is.

Christa Innis: How embarrassing would that be? I throw it. I don’t.

Antoinette: Exactly and I don’t want be embarrassed.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I’m like, let’s just take that away. Um, yeah. I love that.

From TikTok Stunts to Bridal Party Boundaries: Wedding Drama Gets Real

Christa Innis: Okay. Here are some hot takes that people have sent in and we can just kind of share our opinions on them. Okay. Um, this says. If you need a content day during your wedding week, you’re not planning a marriage, you’re planning a pro, you’re producing a mini series.

So they’re saying, like, I, I’ve heard of this more, more and more now with weddings. Like people are so concerned with the overall look that they’ll like, do, like, they’ll plan out content like during their video or during their day. Like they’ll film stuff or do like, tiktoks have a TikTok section. Um, I’ve never been a part of one that does that, but yeah, either this person must have seen it.

Antoinette: So they’re saying if you’re planning con, then you’re, what? What’s that last part they said?

Christa Innis: You’re not thinking about planning a marriage, you’re more about producing, like producing something like a mini series.

Antoinette: Hmm. You know what I can see, I feel like I have two ideas about it. I can see how like, yes, I feel like that could be true for a lot of people where it’s like, if you’re so focused on that and.

Also like doing different con, I mean, I think financially too, like how much money are you putting into this? Are you thinking about your life later? All that stuff. But then I also can think like, hey, but maybe somebody is like a, like they really like tiktoks. They really like, you know what I mean? Like that’s kinda like their thing.

They’re like, they’re always doing like content stuff. So then why wouldn’t they have that to be a part of their wedding too? Because it’s representing them.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Um, and if this is how you envisioned it, I don’t think that’s a big deal. As long as like, as long as it’s not like, oh my God, like this, this, okay, you guys don’t do this TikTok, right.

Blah, blah, blah. Like, right. But if it’s like, if it’s just for fun and you’re like, I want my day to be full of like different times that I can capture the day and I want. Then, I don’t know. Do you boo?

Christa Innis: Yeah. I think if the other parties are okay with it and it’s like your day and you like, tell people we’re gonna do this, it’s fine.

I’ve seen Have you seen, did you see the TikTok drama talking about TikTok drama? There was a photographer that No, she was, this is okay. She was a makeup artist that was hired for a wedding. But, um, and there were other photo, there were photographers there, but she had her own plans for tiktoks to be filmed during the day.

So like, literally they were done with makeup and she is going around doing, having the bridesmaids and bride do tiktoks while they have like another timeline.

Antoinette: Wait, wait, wait. This is the ma and she was like, involved. Yes, I know exactly what you’re talking about.

Christa Innis: And then she caught in her car saying they treated her horribly kicking.

Antoinette: Yeah. Honestly, this is one of, one of my things that also blew up for me. Really? Like in the way, in the really beginning for me. Yes. Um, I know exactly. Oh my God, I remember this just of it. She was unhinged. Yeah, she was unhinged. Like even in the first look, she was like, she was there and in the photos making it all about her.

Yes. And the brides were crying. She’s like, okay guys. Okay. Like, that’s too much crying. I was like, why aren’t you still here? Yeah. She stayed the whole day. She stayed and then yeah, she kept making them do tiktoks. Then when it was time for like the after party for the reception, she was still trying to get tiktoks.

Yes. I, and then they tried to kick her. Yeah. Then they tried to kick her out and then she was like, she left and then she came back. She was like, no, you know what? I’m not gonna let them like bully me. And she went back. I was like, yes. I was like, no. It was crazy. I was like, I don’t understand why you’re not getting it, but you, she was like, oh my God, we were having such a good time.

We were kiking. And I was like, not for you to stay the whole day. No’s not for you to stay the whole day.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I didn’t make any said, oh, the groomsmen? Or, she said someone invited her and they were probably just like being like friendly. Like, oh oh, like in, no.

Antoinette: Yeah. Basically like, the bride, like, I think was like, kept being like, oh, okay.

Oh, okay. Like, and I think she like, just was just very kind, you know, like, and like maybe just didn’t wanna like do any confrontation. But then I, it wasn’t until like the groom later at the reception. Was like, okay. No. ’cause he was tired. Like, ’cause he didn’t actually agree to any of the things that the bride Right.

You know what I mean? Um, had said yes to and then the bride was like, no, no. Like he’s just upset. It’s okay. But then she left and it’s like, why didn’t you take the hint from the groom? Like, she’s like, well you know what, my bride, that’s what she said. She’s like, my bride wants me there. It’s like, no, she doesn’t.

Okay. But also it’s the groom’s wedding too. And he asked you to leave?

Christa Innis: Yeah. And leave how awkward that is. Like she’s probably just like, the bride’s probably just trying to enjoy her day. Doesn’t wanna start. Yes. ’cause in our minds, you know, it’s like, oh, I don’t wanna start drama. But it’s like, no, she’s literally viol, not violating, but like crossing all the boundaries at the wedding.

Antoinette: All the boundaries.

Christa Innis: She’s the makeup artist. She’s hired, she did her job. And I feel like she was even like drinking or something during makeup. Yes. Showing her drinking. Yes. All these things. And then what kills me is then like. She makes this video bashing the bride and groom showing the, like all their video footage before their, like, before they even posted to make herself look like the victim.

And I’m like, no.

Antoinette: Oh my God. I knew it. So left for her. Like no one would have even known about it if she didn’t make that video. Like the bride and groom, because they aren’t even social media people. They would not have even, no one even known about it.

Mm-hmm. She could have just have ruined this wedding and nobody would’ve known.

Yeah. But then she went online. I know she made this whole series blasted them, put their videos, their faces. Oh my God. That was crazy. Even like the bridesmaids were getting in the comments and being like, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like this is not okay. And then somebody else, like there was another MUA that had worked with her in the past and she’s like, oh no, she’s unhinged.

She’s unhinged. Like, oh yeah. So much came out about that woman.

Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s, that’s wild when you’re putting your content in front of your client, like Yes. That’s the thing that like, like obviously like I love social media, I love like the connections and stuff, but you have to always put like your job first.

There’s so many people that are like, oh, I wanna create content. And it’s like, well this is not the place or the time. Like as a makeup artist Yeah. Do their before and after and be like, Hey, can I post this? You know? But you have to always check in with your client first. They might not wanna be posted and Yeah, they might not want you hanging out all day and.

Antoinette: Yeah. But she kept being like, well, they agreed to content, but they didn’t agree to like every single content that you like. I think she probably thought you were just doing the look content that a lot of like people do where it’s like, okay, they did the before and then they do the after. I didn’t think, she didn’t think you were gonna be following her around all day trying to get her.

It was like, I can’t remember. I can like hear the song in my head, but I can’t think of. I can’t say it all, but there was like, I can remember the TikTok thing that she was trying to make and she was just trying to go throughout the day. The groom, you were never even a part of the grooms party, but then you involved them. ‘Cause you’re like, well I need the grooms. And I was like, that’s when you know you’ve gone too far. Does it, does the content fit with the service that you’re doing? Right. I think you have to think about that. And does it fit within the timeframe of the service that you’re doing or are you going beyond that?

You know, also, like maybe you, if it’s something where like, I don’t, things are taking long, maybe you won’t get your content. Like, but exactly what you said, like the service should come first. Yeah. And then the content, like I, you know, like, but someone agreeing to make tiktoks with you doesn’t mean they’re agreeing to like literally every single thing that you came up under the sun.

Christa Innis: Yeah, no. 100%. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I can’t believe that. Just like came back like that. That was one of those where like, I think I took a few days off and I came back on and like I got a couple messages. Someone tagged me, they’re like, Christa, can you please make a skit about this? I didn’t. I think I just kind of talked about it.

’cause I was like, it’s so fresh. Like, I don’t know, like this is kind of wild. Like yeah, I watched all the videos and I was like, oh my gosh, this is an unhinged, like seriously insane. Yeah.

Um, okay. This last hot take says reality TV. Weddings have convinced people that bridal parties are unpaid extras. Oh.

Antoinette: Um, interesting reality. Tv. Bachelor parties, they said weddings. Oh, our unpaid extras. Is this more like, I think they were saying that like people are taking advantage of the bridal party basically.

But I feel like people have been doing that for like, even before reality TV stuff.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I don’t actually reality tv.

Antoinette: Yeah. I think it’s just some people do take advantage of the bridal party. Um, I think some people don’t realize that like, yeah, of course, like these people wanna be here for you. Um, but like, it’s not, and, and it’s like, it’s, it’s not like in, you can’t just like ask like endless amount of things. Um, you can’t also just ask people to like put all their money into your wedding or into like the bridesmaids dress or whatever, or, or whatever the makeup that they have to do or, you know, what have you.

Um, also like that whole year is not literally about you to. Everybody else in your life. Yeah. It’s like, it’s about you for you and your spouse, but like everybody else’s life is still going on. I mean, like, I have things to do. We got things to do, but I do know that I feel like there’s a lot of people who are like, you’re not really supporting me right now.

Like, I feel like you’re not doing enough for the way I was like, what are you talking about, dude? Like, I have a life. Like I will help you, but like, I’m not making a full-time job out of helping you for your wedding.

Christa Innis: Right. The world doesn’t stop because you’re getting married. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I’ve seen wild stories where bridesmaids get mad or brides get mad because their bridesmaids are pregnant or their bridesmaids get, uh, also get engaged and it’s like you don’t get claims to the whole there, there.

I mean like I had two, uh, pregnant bridesmaids and I was like, don’t feel like you have to come to anything. Your baby and your health comes first.

Antoinette: Like yeah, I mean life happens. Like, if it’s not, like, let’s say like you had like a destination wedding and one of the people got pregnant, like on like, if, if it’s that time for me, my life for me that I wanna get pregnant, I’m gonna, I’m not gonna like be like, oh no, we gotta hold off a year.

Yeah. ’cause so and so’s, you know, just in case, like, that’s not what’s gonna happen. And I think that’s absolutely crazy when people do that. I think that’s like, literally you need to get your head checked. That’s not cool. Yeah. Like that. Like you’re, you’re way too self-centered. But I think a lot of times it’s like there are probably signs about that person.

Before, yeah. You know, before the wedding there were probably signs about the person that they were pretty selfish. Mm-hmm. Um, and then it just went to like, kind of the nth degree when they felt like they had an excuse to be their most selfish shelf.

Christa Innis: Yes. Like they hear it like, oh, it’s your bride’s day.

Antoinette: So they’re like, yep. The court. Yes, exactly. They’re like, okay, well now I get to be exact you know.

Christa Innis: Here’s my notebook. Yes. Oh my God, that’s so true. Because yeah, you hear it time and time again. It’s like, oh, it’s a bride’s day. It’s your moment. So then they’re like, oh, I’ve, I’ve been waiting for this.

Antoinette: Yes.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: But it’s not, that’s the funny part. It’s your day. It’s your day. Not your year. Not your year, your day.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And we gotta have, we gotta have, respect people’s life and their boundaries too.

Antoinette: Yes. A hundred percent.

Wedding Drama Rapid Fire: From Jealous Bridesmaids to Reality TV Proposals!

Christa Innis: Okay. Before we get to this week’s wild wedding story that we’ll react to, um, we’ll do a little quick rapid fire.

How does that sound? Okay. In addition, okay. Would you rather deal with a jealous bridesmaid or an attention hogging groomsman?

Think hard, long, and hard about this one.

Antoinette: Yeah. Um, I guess an attention hogging groom has been, I guess, a little bit. ’cause I feel like I, for me personally, I feel like I would be a lot easier to talk to that person and be like, tone it down. Yeah. Like I, ’cause I would not have a problem be like, I love you so much, but you gotta tone it down. You’re doing too much.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Versus somebody who is jealous. I don’t know if I would know that they’re being jealous or if they’re like, you know, kind of being stink face or whatever. Or like, or like eat subconsciously or consciously sabotaging things. So I feel like I wouldn’t want that type of negativity.

Christa Innis: Yep.

Antoinette: On my day.

Christa Innis: That’s a great point. Yeah. Um, would you rather your wedding TikTok flop? So like if something bad happened at your wedding or, or your honeymoon get leaked?

Antoinette: Uh oh. Would I rather have a, so I either the TikTok I have be like a flop, like someone said, let, like my wedding was a flop.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like if you had like a wedding TikTok, um, like maybe you like, posted about your wedding as a TikTok and it didn’t do well, is how I’m reading it.

Yeah.

Um, or your honeymoon, like videos from your honeymoon or photos from your honeymoon get leaked. I don’t know. Like Oh, like your,

Antoinette: I I was, I know. I was like, right. I was like, what? I was like, what type of leak? I was like, what we, I was like, I was like, what are we talking about? I’m nervous I didn’t write these.

Um, I guess like, I wouldn’t mind having a TikTok flop. I probably would think it was funny.

Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s ’cause it’d be more for me anyways if I.

Antoinette: Yeah. Just in case. There could be lots of different meanings for the leak. I’d rather have nothing leaked, just to be clear. Yeah. Just to, just to like, just in case nothing leaked.

Christa Innis: I know, I feel like the word leaked just sounds like celebrity leak. Like Yeah. Oh, there, this got leach. Um, okay. Would you rather have your wedding go viral for the wrong reasons? Or have no one shared at all?

Antoinette: No one shared at all.

Christa Innis: Yeah, same. Would you rather find out your fiance applied to a reality dating show after your engagement or that your proposal was filmed for a pilot episode you didn’t know? These are wild.

Antoinette: What the, is this, I guess, um, the film for, for, for a pilot? I didn’t know because like what the actual f*ck if you just, sorry. With the actual flip, if you just, I didn’t know if you could curse something. I was like, it’s all good. Okay. If you just, like, you got engaged to me and then you just applied to a dating show?

Christa Innis: Dude, there’s been people on Bachelor that has come out, like they have like girlfriends at home. This happens and you, the thing is why I’m sure, well, cheaters, I feel like, just don’t think about this, but they’re like, yeah, you don’t think it’s ever gonna come out. Exactly. You don’t thinking at home, like clicking and being like recognize.

Antoinette: Thank you. The internet with the, like, have you not? Are you new?

Are you new to the world now? Like the internet is like, especially with TikTok, things like information moves by fast. People are detectives. Okay. If you’re on there, they’re gonna find you and everything about you. So. Like, people always think like, oh, I can just hide it. No, you can’t. No. It’s no one else has been able to.

Christa Innis: Someone’s always watching, especially nowadays. Oh my gosh, Coldplay concert.

Antoinette: Yes, exactly. Exactly.

Christa Innis: Someone’s always watching. Yes.

Antoinette: And the funny, if they had just not ducked, if they had just not ducked, that wouldn’t have been a thing.

Christa Innis: Yes. Seriously. No one would’ve even thought twice about it. But the funny thing is, someone, do you see the behind the scenes, someone was behind them and realized later, like they had videos of them like kissing before that happened. Oh, they were like literally behind the couple.

Antoinette: Yeah. I didn’t see that. Ah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. So I’m like, oh my God. But like literally, they would’ve just been like, oh, it’s a cute couple. Yeah. Never would’ve thought anything about if they weren’t like, whoa. Yeah, exactly. And yeah, it wouldn’t, the smelling front. Oh my gosh.

Antoinette: No. Right. Yeah. It wouldn’t have been a thing.

Christa Innis: All right, last one. Would you rather have your wedding edited by Netflix or produced by Bravo?

Antoinette: Ooh. Edited by Netflix or produced by Bravo, um, I guess edited by Netflix, produced by Bravo. Ooh. I don’t know, dude, that, that’s kind of like, I, I like Netflix shows, so let’s just say edit it by Netflix.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I like it.

A Tale of Jealousy, Selfishness, and Boundaries!

All right, let’s get into this week’s wedding story submission. Are we, we still okay on time? I know we’re, yeah.

Antoinette: Yeah. No, I’m good. I love bantering.

Christa Innis: I feel like we’re doing a.

Antoinette: Yeah, no, I’m having fun. No, we’re good.

Christa Innis: Okay, cool.

Antoinette: Okay. I’m off today, so we’re.

Christa Innis: We got time. Alright, cool. Yeah.

Um, okay. So as always, I have not read this, this will be a blind reaction. Let’s just see how we go. Feel free to stop me if you want. Um, otherwise we’ll, just as you know,

Antoinette: I might have questions. I’ll let you know.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, all names have been changed, so here we go.

This story starts about two and a half years ago. Around six months before I got engaged. I was on a pontoon boat with my friends, their boyfriends, and my now fiance Ryan. One of my friends, Brooke, asked Ryan if he had any plans to propose in the future.

At that point, we’d been together for a little over a year, so it was still fairly early. But we had already talked about marriage, so it wasn’t a totally random question. Ryan told Brooke and my other friend Erica, that he actually planned on proposing in August, which was about two months from when they were having this conversation. I was on the other side of the pontoon boat and had no idea this was even happening. Next thing I know, I look over and see Erica sulking in the corner of the boat, glued to her phone and refusing to talk to anyone. We were only about an hour into a six hour rental, so things weren’t off to a great start.

I asked Brooke if she knew why Erica was upset, and she told me that when the topic of proposals came up, Erica made a comment to her boyfriend who was also on the boat, and they’d been together for three years at the time. Um. Asking when he was going to propose and he replied with something dismissive like, don’t hold your breath. Ooh. Which upset her. Yeah. Like then starts the comparison, right? Yeah. Uh, for the rest of the rental, Erica sulked and barely spoke.

After we got off the boat, she immediately returned to her hotel. Instead of joining the group for dinner the next day, she texted me asking why I didn’t make more of an effort to comfort her. I explained that it wasn’t fair for her to exec expect me to come spend my entire birthday consoling her over something I had no control over.

Okay. Fast forward six months, Ryan and I get engaged on a beach. Brooke was there because she helped Ryan plan and execute the proposal. Afterward, Ryan and I FaceTimed friends in film me to share the news. When I FaceTimed Erica to show her the ring, oh gosh. The first thing she said to me was, Ew. He let you have red nails for your proposal. Jealousy. Not a pretty.

Antoinette: What the, oh my God. That’s not a friend.

Christa Innis: This is kind of ironic. ’cause yesterday I did like a, like a different kind of video and I was like, pretending to be, I said, your best friend of me just found out you’re engaged.

Antoinette: Oh, I think I saw that. I saw that.

Christa Innis: I said something like that. I’m like, oh, I didn’t know you liked that. Kind of, you know? Yes. That’s literally like that kind of comment, like why would you say that to someone?

Antoinette: That is so rude. Like, and I feel like jealousy is a normal emotion. I do like, I don’t like, people are like, oh, we, I was like, I don’t think you should like down people for having feelings of jealousy. It just is like information for you. Like it’s not necessarily that you dislike the person or whatever. It’s like there’s something going on with you that you are that. You’re looking for. Do you what I mean? And that that person has, it doesn’t necessarily mean that’s not something you can have. It’s just like, it’s some, it’s information. That’s how I think of it more. It’s information. And if you don’t actually take in that information, then I think jealousy can get out of hand. Obviously this person, jealousy got out of hand. Yes. ’cause for her to be outwardly so rude and dismissive to her friend during such a, a beautiful moment. And the fact that she also thinks of you, thinks of you so much that she calls you during that beautiful moment. And that’s the first thing you say is like, what the flip? Yeah. Like you need to get, you need to internally look.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. Like you’re, yeah, you’re letting that jealousy like take over you when it’s like, yeah. You could have like feelings of being like, oh, I wish that was me first, or that yeah. Kind of sucks, but I wouldn’t be really happy for my friend because she’s my friend.

Antoinette: Yeah, a hundred percent.

Christa Innis: Um, it says I was in such a good mood that I brushed it off. Okay, good. At least Elisa didn’t ruin the moment.

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Um, she gave me a half-hearted congratulations. And we moved on later. Our families had planned a small celebration at our house. Erica and her boyfriend came out but barely said anything to me and left about an hour later.

I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, assuming she might be having an off day, despite everything. I still asked her to be one of my bridesmaids. There we go. That gut feeling like she’s already showing signs. Um, when I started organizing hangout so the bridesmaid could get to know each other, Erica always made excuses not to come.

Her reasons ranged from anticipating she’d be too tired or needing to attend a half birthday party for a six month old. What’s a half birthday? Oh, a six month old, like half birthday. I get it. Um, to simply not liking who does.

Antoinette: Six and a six and a half?

Christa Innis: No, I was like, wait, what? Um, to simply not liking the location.

Weird. Not going to your friend to hang out ’cause you don’t like the location.

Okay. While planning the bachelorette trip, I mentioned feeling sad that one of my bridesmaids Tessa wouldn’t be able to make it because she lives in Arizona. Erica responded, I’m so jealous of Tessa living in another state gets her out of so many of these events.

Okay. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

Antoinette: Okay. Yeah.

Christa Innis: I wanna be here.

Antoinette: Okay. Yeah. Honestly, I I, if it was me, I’d be like, girl girly. What’s going on?

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Like what is happening here? Like you’ve been saying, I’ve been letting it go, but you’ve been saying way too many things. We need to talk.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Like, ’cause that’s just rude. Like, that’s just rude. You don’t have to come, like, don’t do me any flipping favors. Okay. Okay. Like, don’t do me any, this what.

Christa Innis: You’re gonna ruin it being there. I’d rather.

Antoinette: Yeah. You are ruining it. Like you’re ruining everything. You’re making me feel bad. Like you’re, you’re putting in digs, like trying to make me feel bad about myself.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. That’s, oh gosh. She’s like putting all the signs out there.

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Um, okay. She says I wish I had a solid excuse not to come to the bachelorette trip, so that that was her end. That’s it. Yeah. That’s your excuse. Like don’t come friend.

Antoinette: You don’t need, I’d be like, you don’t even need one. You’re uninvited. Yeah. It’s done. Done.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh.

Antoinette: That is, I would literally be like, don’t you? I would literally say that most likely I’d be like, you don’t even need one you’re uninvited.

Christa Innis: If someone’s gonna be that mopey and like.

Antoinette: Oh yeah, I wish I had a solid excuse. And you’re saying that to me.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Yeah. No.

Christa Innis: There you go. Bye.

Antoinette: Yeah. Yeah. That, that’s your excuse right? There you have it.

Christa Innis: Um, okay. She goes frustrated. I said, if you don’t wanna come, then you should stay home. Okay, good. She replied that would, that she would def look bad if she didn’t go.

Antoinette: So you look bad by not by saying this, you already, what do you mean You obviously don’t care about looking bad? ‘Cause you look bad right now.

Christa Innis: Yeah. How can you really care about looking bad if you say that? So it’s like, it’s more about everybody else, what everyone else thinks versus your best friend or one.

Antoinette: Yeah. You don’t care about me or what I think because you’re saying all this to my face. Yeah, to my face. Like, you’re being rude and mean to my face.

So it’s not, it’s not about me. It’s like, okay, what other people would it look bad for then?

Christa Innis: Yeah, exactly. Oh my gosh.

Um, while shopping for bridesmaid dresses, Erica told me she struggles when people get married before her. Really? Did they? Right. Not also, why are we telling her this at bridesmaid dress shopping again, like a wedding event for her. Don’t go if you’re gonna make it about you.

Antoinette: Like honestly, at this point, this is where the introspection we need to come in. And it’d be like, I’m in a weird place. I can literally, I don’t know why, but I can literally not be happy for you right now. Mm-hmm. I want to be, I know I should be, but I’m in a bad place.

Yeah. Like, honestly, I should just be like. I can’t do this and cut it out, like mm-hmm. But not, I feel like a lot, not a lot of people are like self-aware like that, where it’s like, I’m just not able to do this.

Christa Innis: Yeah. If it’s gonna bother you that much and every little thing you’re gonna bring up how you’re not married yet, or you’re not engaged yet, that’s a problem.

Antoinette: Yeah. You’re gonna be rude to your, to your friend. It’s, this is supposedly your friend.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Like, you’re gonna be rude to them, put them down, make them feel bad about all the events that are happening around this wedding. Like, then just, then just see yourself out, like, you know what I mean? Like, be a friend and don’t go.

Right. Like that would be the way you’re being a friend. If like I’m, if I’m, I’m literally not able to control myself at this point because I’m so jealous that I need to not be involved.

Christa Innis: Yeah. 100%.

Um, she goes, especially when they haven’t been with their partners as long as she has.

Antoinette: Oh my gosh.

Christa Innis: Doesn’t matter.

Antoinette: Erica. Get over it.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Okay. Dump your partner and get a new one. Then. I don’t know, like, if, if the issue is that, then maybe you should like not be with your partner. If they, obviously, obviously I don’t think she should be with her partner. If her partner said something along the lines of like, oh, what’s it called?

Christa Innis: Don’t hold your breath.

Antoinette: Don’t hold your breath. You shouldn’t be with that. You shouldn’t be with that person.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like you’re more mad at him, I think. Yeah. You’re not mad at your friend and you’re letting him dictate how you feel about your friend, which you should be happy for her. I think you need to turn the anger maybe to him.

Antoinette: Yes.

Christa Innis: You guys are on different timelines.

Antoinette: Yes.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, but also like why even if you’re on different timelines, why would that be your answer to somebody asking about when we’re getting married? Yeah. Don’t hold your breath. Your breath. You obviously don’t like me. If that’s, if that’s like, if that’s your answer, that’s rude.

Yeah. It’s one thing to be like, I’m not ready. Gonna be like, don’t hold your breath. Okay. You, you don’t like me. Then like, you always like, you don’t care about me or my feelings, like.

Yeah. The fact that he was so quick to be like, don’t hold your breath. Not like, don’t worry, we’re gonna get married. I’ve got something planned. Or just like, I need another year. You know, whatever.

Antoinette: Or can we talk about it later? Like, can we talk like not on this boat when Yeah. Not on this boat. You, you might not be happy with my answer. Let’s talk about it in private.

Christa Innis: Might ruin your whole day.

Antoinette: Yeah, exactly right. Ruins everybody’s day and year, apparently.

Christa Innis: Yes. Oh my gosh.

Um, she said she felt she should be getting married before me. Oh, now it’s clear before me. Because of the length of her own relationship. Length does not dictate any of that. It does not ever. It really doesn’t ever. Oh my gosh. It really doesn’t.

I wanted to suggest that she stepped down as a bridesmaid, but I avoided the confrontation because I knew it would end our friendship.

Antoinette: Well, maybe, but this is not ending your friend. This should have ended your friendship.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: This should have ended your friendship. I think this girl’s being way too much of a pushover because like, this should have ended your friendship. Why are you worried about ending? Like how is this not ending it?

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Like all the signs are there from the outside. I’m like, these signs are so big and red that I’m like you. Yeah. As red. Those nails that you got proposed.

Antoinette: Yeah, exactly.

Christa Innis: They are, they’re they’re like flashing at me.

Antoinette: Yes.

Christa Innis: Um, for the bachelorette trip, a joint bachelor and bachelorette weekend. Erica texted me the week before saying her boyfriend couldn’t take time off work. So they probably would, would come late.

Okay. Despite multiple brides, I thought she was gonna say, so they probably wouldn’t come. And I was gonna be like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. Despite multiple bridesmaids offering to drive her so she could come on time, she refused. That’s another, that’s weird. If it’s one of my best friends, I’d be like, sorry, you have to work a boyfriend.

I’m going without you like, yeah. What, what, I’m sorry. I’m not wasting, wasting my time. Um, she and her boyfriend finally arrived Friday night just as we were heading to karaoke the karaoke bar. At the bar they stood apart from everyone else repeatedly asked when we were leaving and complained about how much they disliked it.

Antoinette: Why did you come? They both did?

Christa Innis: Apparently. Like what?

Antoinette: What was the point of coming then? Like, you just, like, you just like ob you want to ruin people’s time.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. You’re just miserable, unhappy people.

Antoinette: Yeah. Like, you are, you’re being miserable and you’re trying to make everyone else miserable. Like, and I have like, I’m one of those people where like, I’m like, I feel like I give so much grace where I’m like, you know, if somebody’s like in a bad place, you know, or like, and you know what?

Maybe you are miserable. Okay. But like, are you spreading your misery? That’s what I’m really asking. Like, I mean like, are you spreading your misery? And that’s what’s happening here. And I feel like that’s so like, get it together. Get it together. There’s really no reason for you to go to event and just ruin somebody else’s time. Go home. Yeah, go home.

Christa Innis: Because, yeah, no one feels bad for you. Like, don’t go there to like ruin their day. Like they’re enjoying their time. So just like.

Antoinette: Yeah. This would also be a festivity and you would literally be like, Ugh. Can we go home? Yeah, go. No, yeah, you can. Yeah, please. You literally can, you drove here by yourself because you didn’t come with us. ‘Cause you’re waiting for your boyfriend so you can, you literally can’t go.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Literally. Please. Do you already want the excuse to not come?

Antoinette: This is not an escape room. You can escape. Okay. Yeah.

Christa Innis: You’re way out. Oh my gosh. This is wild.

Um, the next morning Erica claimed she had a panic attack and decided to leave saying she wasn’t having fun. Okay.

Antoinette: Yeah. Neither were we. We could tell.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: You could tell. It’s not a surprise.

Christa Innis: You made it very clear. Yeah.

Antoinette: Like it’s not a surprise, girly.

Christa Innis: A month after the trip, Erica got engaged. Hmm. Okay.

Antoinette: Good for maybe, I hope, you know what? I hope her attitude changes now. I hope she’s very happy now.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Now she’s gonna be, wait, I didn’t read the rest, but I’m just gonna guess it’s gonna be all about her and her wedding now and then maybe they kept married first.

Antoinette: Oh my God. I bet she’s gonna be like, oh, you know what? If this was my wedding, I wouldn’t have done that. Yes. A lot of that, like, oh, you know what? I would’ve never picked that color. Oh, you know what? I kind of feel like that’s a little techy, but like, you know, like, it’s good for you. Oh my God. I hate Erica. What? Yes. God. Erica, you’re the worse.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Um, a month after the trip, so Erica got engaged and started texting me questions about wedding planning. Oh, she’s so excited now.

Antoinette: Oh, look at her.

Christa Innis: Things most bridesmaids would already know, like what wedding website I use and where my venue was. On the day of my bridal shower, Erica showed up with her mom both wearing white. Because she’s engaged, so it’s now her wedding here.

Antoinette: I literally can’t, Erica is not the worse. Erica is the worst. She can’t help herself.

Christa Innis: Her mom like matching, matching outfits, like wearing a sash bride and mother with bride.

Antoinette: Oh my God. Did you? She’s like, well, I’m, I’m also, I’m also engaged.

Christa Innis: We’re all engaged together.

Antoinette: Yeah. Oh my God.

Christa Innis: Um, she asked the other bridesmaids how long the shower would last complained about having to stay for the opening of gifts and spent most of the time talking about her own wedding plans.

Antoinette: Oh, you called it, you called it.

Christa Innis: I feel like I’ve just like seen so many stories like this where I’m just like that type of person that’s so upset and jealous and has to be rude.

The second then they get engaged. It’s me, me, me, me, me. Oh, you had your, yes, that’s it. But it’s like she doesn’t have her time yet. She’s still like.

Antoinette: She never had her time. You were rude the whole time. Like you’ve been, and then after now you’re still being rude. See? Are you just a rude person? Like that. Just who? Yeah. I was like, were there signs? You know what, I’m sorry. I feel like I was like, were there signs already that Erica was not a good friend before all of this?

Christa Innis: Yeah. I wanna hear about. Yeah. You know, some pre-engagement stories about Erica. Tell me the truth.

Antoinette: Yeah. I was like, let’s get the truth. Have you, as his friend, needed to be gone for a long time? Probably.

Christa Innis: My, my guess is, yeah. Yeah. Like, and this just brought it all out even more.

Um, when I walked over to her table, her mom interrupted me to show Erica something so cute for her wedding. About 45 minutes into the shower, Erica’s mom came up to me and said Erica wasn’t feeling well.

I know I have to say that in that voice. Yeah. No, I love it. Come say goodbye. Oh. At your shower. You need to go outside and say goodbye to Erica.

Antoinette: No, Erica can come inside. Yeah. Or, or tell her I say bye.

Christa Innis: Yeah. She can just do the old Irish goodbye. See ya. Bye.

Um, I went outside and Erica apologized, later texted me that she’s always getting sick at events related to me.

Antoinette: Oh my God.

Christa Innis: You said it weird. There must be some jealousy in the air.

Antoinette: Yeah. Right, right. I right.

Christa Innis: Stick with jealousy.

Antoinette: You’re literally getting sick by your own jealousy. Your own jealousy is making you sick.

Christa Innis: Eating you up inside.

Antoinette: Alive. Like, like your body knows terrible therapy. Immediately, please. Like, yeah.

Christa Innis: Can you seek some inner peace?

Antoinette: Yes.

Christa Innis: Um, all right. The next day, my sister texted Erica and asked if she’d be getting sick on the wedding day too, and whether she saw,

Antoinette: I love the sister.

Christa Innis: The sister is awesome.

Antoinette: The sister was like, I’m done with this.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like, I’ll be her backbone for a little bit. I got, yeah. Whether she felt capable of handling the pressure.

Erica got defensive and sent me a long series of messages about feeling disrespected before I could respond she blocked me.

Antoinette: The audacity!

Christa Innis: And all the other bridesmaids on social media. ’cause she was called out for her bs.

Antoinette: She felt disrespected? She, Erica felt disrespect? Wow. Wow.

Christa Innis: That is wild.

Antoinette: She did them a favor though. Yeah. Like somebody needed to like, thank you for excusing yourself out then.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Antoinette: And she, she literally went through, just blocked everybody. Okay. Nobody wanted you ready.

Christa Innis: That’s someone that like expects you just to like, go to their beck and call at all times. No one says no to me. And so I think because the sister came in and was like, yo, you’re not being a good person. Are you gonna be there or not? Tell me now because

Antoinette: Yeah, exactly.

Christa Innis: Not dealing with this.

Antoinette: I’m glad the sister said something. ’cause it was like someone had to be like, is this, we’ve already seen the pattern for a year. Are you gonna do this on the actual important day?

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Antoinette: If so, like, and I love that. Are you gonna be able to handle it? ’cause Yeah. Are, can you handle it? You’ve proven not to be able to. So yeah. Can you get yourself together before then? Mm-hmm. And she pretty much, she answered, no, she’s not. I mean by all of her actions were a No. That was the answer.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh.

Antoinette: She blocked everybody off.

Christa Innis: That is wild.

Antoinette: Oh so childish.

Christa Innis: I kind of like. Very loosely relate to this.

Like years ago I had a very like shady kind of friend. The end of, yeah, shady is probably the wrong word, just a friend where like I was always like people pleasing, bending back my backward, bending over backwards for. And many times, like last minute cancellations, like if she was gonna help me with something, like feeling sick, that kind of stuff.

And my sister texted her one day when she was supposed to come to something and canceled like the morning of, or just stopped. She like stopped responding to me and my sister was like, Hey, like. Christa’s always bending over backwards for you, blah, blah, blah. And it was like the same thing. She was rude back to my sister and then texted me like a whole thing. And I was just like, I’m done. Like I’m done. Sorry.

Antoinette: Yeah. Yeah. Like you can’t take accountability. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, all right. Last paragraph here says, looking back, I should have never asked her to be a bridesmaid. She has always been selfish and viewed our friendship as a competition. There you go. Mm.

I was trying to hold on to a one-sided friendship, but in the end she took the first opportunity to bow out.

Antoinette: Wow.

Christa Innis: They hung on by a thread there for a while.

Antoinette: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, and everyone, but I mean, that’s what we’re wondering. We’re wondering, like, it seems like Erica probably has always been a problem, and, but she just confirmed that.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Like, and that happens. I mean, I’ve been, I’ve been in, in a friendship like that too, where like, it was definitely one sided.

I was definitely like doing everything. And they definitely were like selfish, but like, there were just, there’s always something, there’s like something, I don’t know what it is, but you were like, attached to that person. I felt attached to them. Um, and sometimes it can be hard to like let people go, even if they’re like, you know, they’re like not really bringing anything.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. A hundred percent.

Antoinette: Um, yeah. Yeah. So.

Christa Innis: And I feel like too, it’s like, you know, you, you think of like good times with that person. Yeah. And you’re like, oh, they’re good to me during that. Or like, this was a good time. I don’t wanna just like be the mean person and say like, I’m done with you, but also like, you, you matter too.

And it’s like, yeah. And their friendships just have a timeline and they’re just. Done at a certain point. And that’s.

Antoinette: Yeah. And this was the one, I mean, I secretly wish for this girl that like it had been earlier, so her whole, all the events weren’t like so tainted with Erica’s drama, you know? But at least her wedding wasn’t tainted with it.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. She was long out by that point.

Antoinette: Yeah, right.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Well that was a wild story.

Well, thank you so much for coming on and yeah, entering with me and reacting to this wild story. I had so much fun hanging out with you. I feel like we could talk for hours just because I do too, so much to chat about.

Um, can you again, just tell everyone where they can follow you and find your content and then anything fun you’re working on?

Antoinette: Yeah. Um, you can find me on TikTok at Miss Razzle Dazzle. I’ve been trying to change it, but it won’t change on TikTok, so Miss Razzle dazzle, and then on Instagram at bits of banter with Antoinette and then YouTube at bits of banter.

Christa Innis: I love it.

Antoinette: Um, and I am now my next thing is Perfect Match and Love is Blind uk so I’ll be reacting to those two shows.

Christa Innis: Okay. I gotta watch at least one of those. Yes, yes. I Dating Show World. Yes. Awesome. Well thank you so much.

Antoinette: Thank you.

by Christa Innis

A Shocking Bridezilla, Wedding Rules Gone Wild & a Book #2 Sneak Peek

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

Get the book!

What happens when a bride bans her bridesmaids from getting engaged or pregnant for two years? Welcome to today’s Bridezilla saga.

Christa reacts to a viral Reddit wedding horror story filled with outrageous demands: daily group chats, pricey dress fittings years in advance, and rules like “don’t look hotter than the bride.”

Then the chaos shifts to family feuds, shower invites without wedding invites, parents footing the bill, and a brother who plays the victim at every turn. Two weddings, endless drama, and a crash course in setting boundaries.

PLUS—Christa reads a juicy snippet from book two of her Here Comes the Drama series!

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month!

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

01:34 Podcast Review and Listener Engagement

02:33 Book Two Teaser: Sneak Peek

11:25 Rapid Fire: Wedding Drama Debates

16:10 Reacting to Crazy Stories

21:05 Bridesmaid Dress Drama

22:40 Overwhelming Group Chats

24:24 Bride’s Unrealistic Demands

26:38 Toxic Friendship Unveiled

33:09 Family Wedding Drama

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

The No-Life Rule – Bride tells bridesmaids they can’t get engaged or pregnant for two years before her wedding.
The Price of Friendship – Bridesmaids expected to cover all her meals, drinks, Ubers, and bachelorette trip costs.
Dress Code Chaos – Costly bridesmaid dresses ordered a year early, plus mandatory “mock try-on” videos.
Group Chat Prison – Multiple platforms, constant tagging, and shaming if bridesmaids didn’t reply instantly.
Body Shaming Bombshell – Bride tells a postpartum bridesmaid to “lose the baby weight” for the wedding.
Copycat Behavior – Bride mimics her friend’s pets, car, hobbies, and even pregnancy timing.
Family Feud Fallout – Brother refuses to invite his own siblings to his daughter’s wedding, after demanding generous shower gifts.
Empty Pews, Full Drama – The wedding day ends with two-thirds of the bride’s side of the church empty.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“Imagine telling your friends: congrats, you’re engaged… oh wait, not for two years, because I said so.” – Christa Innis
“Nothing says ‘friendship’ like a daily group chat you can’t escape from.” – Christa Innis
“The only rule at my wedding would be: don’t be a jerk. Apparently, that one didn’t make her list.” – Christa Innis
“You don’t need a crystal ball to see this marriage starting off with control issues.” – Christa Innis
“Your bridesmaids are not your unpaid employees, babe.” – Christa Innis
“If the dress costs more than the friendship, we have a problem.” – Christa Innis
“Why are parents always expected to pay, but never allowed to have an opinion?” – Christa Innis
“A shower without a wedding invite is basically a gift grab with cupcakes.” – Christa Innis
“Some people want a wedding, others want a stage. Guess which one this is.” – Christa Innis
“Boundaries aren’t mean. They’re survival.” – Christa Innis

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis, and I am so excited to dive into another episode with some crazy stories that were sent to me. stories from the vault as we’ll call them. As always, if I have not said it on here in a while, if you want more stories from the vault, you can always join my email newsletter and every single week I send out emails on a Thursday.

We share more stories that people send to me. I give you links of all the latest, Stories and skits that I’ve sent out, and then also our latest YouTube video just to make sure it’s all in one place. And you never miss a crazy story because we’ve got lots of them. I’m gonna do things a little bit different today.

I always like to mix it up so it seems a little unique and fun. Although the stories are always unique and fun, so. More can you ask for, so today I’m gonna do a little book two teaser or sneak peek. we’re gonna have a little this or that, a rapid fire. And then I’ve got not one, but two wild stories that, someone has sent over to me.So we’re gonna react to those together.

Sneak Peeks, Reviews, and Wild Wedding Drama

Starting off, I just wanna read a review of the podcast. so this one says, Christa has always made her guests seem like friends of hers. It’s nice to listen to such fun topics, even if sometimes crazy, most of the time crazy. I hope she’ll have on Suzanne Lambert soon.

I had Suzanne Lambert on and I adore her. I think she’s fantastic. She was cracking me up before and after recording and of course during recording, but she was, I wanna say episode seven. I don’t even know. I’ll find out and we’ll, we’ll link in the show notes, but, she was wonderful. thank you for that kind review.

Of course, as always, if you guys love the podcast, please leave me a review. it just helps more people find it and, I will of course share them as well. It just really helps. Like I said, people really understand the podcast and be able to find it when they’re looking for something fun to listen to. So that’s always a fun to read.

Book Two Sneak Peek: Romance, Secrets, and Wedding Fallout

Okay. Like I said. We’re gonna jump into book two Teaser. if this is your first time hearing that I’m gonna work on, or I am working on book number two of the, here comes the drama series. Well, surprise. I’m working on book number two. The title is TBD, I’m working on a few different options right now, and, if you are on my newsletter, email, newsletter list, very soon you’ll be able to vote on which one you like the best.

So make sure you get on that so you can be on the insider, scoop there and see what we’re working with. But book two has been challenging, fun, but also exciting. I would like to say I’m getting a little more creative with, Character development and what can happen. I’m not sticking as closely to the storyline and the skits that you guys saw previously.

Of course it does loosely follow it. but there was a lot, like, I was trying to explain this to someone. It’s like, think of the skit as the rough, rough draft, right? Like I put those together, but sometimes things just come out on a whim and later I’m like, oh, I wish it happened like this instead. So when I sit down to write, I’m able to actually like analyze like, oh, this makes sense, or should I take this scene out?

Should I add this scene in? So we’re getting a little, little, I dunno if raunchy is the right word, but we’re getting a little more in depth in some relationships. We’re adding a little more detail, and I’m changing the course of some things that happen. So it’s been a lot of fun. I do wanna say though, if you’ve not read the first book, and you plan to, you might not wanna listen to this, it’s not gonna reveal too much, but if you watch the skits, it might have some, some revealed in it.

so I’m gonna leave that up to you. It could spoil some small things, but nothing crazy. So here’s a little, teaser from the first part. Again, this is before anything’s been edited, sent to my editor. This is super, super rough, but I wanted to share it with you guys as a little insider bonus. So here we go.

Chapter one, the late afternoon sun spills across the private deck, casting a golden haze over the edge of the infinity pool. Slowly leaves back in her lounge chair, her legs stretched out, sunglasses slipping slightly down her nose. Suddenly Ferris emerges from the villa with sunglasses perched on his head, wearing black swim trunks and holding two glasses of champagne.

My beautiful wife. The champagne you ordered, Ferris says, with a wink leaning forward to hand, one to Sloan. She laughs and sits up reaching for the glass. I could get used to this. The sun, the fresh air, no drama. She gestures up to the sky as if to thank the sun directly. Ferris gently settles into the lounge chair besides her and takes a deep breath, soaking it all in.

She turns to face him and lifts her glass to clink his to married life. I’m so ready for this next chapter. She leans in to give him an a quick peck on the cheek to married life. Ferris echoes smirking at her before taking a long sip. He lets out an audible satisfied. Ah, before adding, tell you what, if I could just sit at a resort like this with you by my side and a drink in my hand for the rest of my life.

I think I could die. Happy slow now reclining again, mumbles you Sure? We didn’t actually die from the wedding stress and this is heaven. She laughs. Ferris chuckles. Come to think of it, the end was kind of a blur, an out of body experience. He thinks back to the moment he could. He made a clear divide between his new wife and his mother.

Proud of the way he stood his ground. Hoping Sloan never second guesses where she stands again. He glances over at her admiring how she glows so naturally in the sunlight. He can hardly keep his hands off of her. Setting down his champagne glass. He moves to sit on her chair, gently cups her face and leans in for a soft kiss.

She lifts her head to meet him, kissing him back. Her hands, exploring his warm body. He slides fully onto the lounge chair silently praying it’s strong enough to hold them both. His fingers trail from her collarbone down to the curbs of her body. Then there’s a knock at the door. They pause looking at each other, then toward the villa without saying a word.

They silently agree to ignore it and return to where they left off. Ferris reaches for the string on Sloan Swim top. Another knock louder this time, he sits up annoyed. Next time I’m putting the do not disturb sign on her door. He walks to the door and pierce through the peephole. A bellhop stands there holding something.

Ferris opens the door, the bellhop smiles holding out a card for the newlyweds. A little spa treatment. Ferris hesitates before taking the card. Oh, thank you. Who’s it from? The call was anonymous, the bellhop says his smile a little too practiced. they just wanted to send you a little treat before you head home.

Ferris furrows, his brows. Thanks. He repeats watching. As the bellhop walks away, he stands there for a beat, peering around the front of the village, nothing. Eventually he shakes it off and heads back inside, shutting the door behind him. Who is that Sloan ass when he returns to the deck? Ferris opens the envelope and scans the card.

Here’s to making sure you relax on your honeymoon. Something tells me you’re going to need it. His stomach tightens. The words could be innocent or something else entirely. He slides the card into his pocket and forces a smile, just a little spa surprise. He says, let’s not waste it. She snatches the card from his hands, her fingers brushing

His in a lingering touch. She opens it reading the message quickly before setting it down on the table. Her gaze meets his and something unspoken passes between them without a word. She wraps her arms around his waist, pulling him closer as she leans down to kiss. The kiss deepens slow in searching and he lifts her effortlessly feeling her legs wrap around him as she clings to him guiding him towards the bedroom.

Their bodies move together. The space between them vanishing as they cross into the next room where the world outside seems miles and miles away. Chapter two, I’m only gonna do a few more paragraphs of this one, cause I don’t wanna give too much. Okay. Back in Milwaukee, tensions are running high after the humiliation of having wine spilled on her at the wedding.

Kate had stormed out of the venue hoping Ted, her husband would follow her in support, but instead he remained inside happily celebrating the couple, mingling with his friends and family as if nothing had happened. She waited a whole hour sitting alone in her car before realizing that no one was coming after her this time.

How could her family be so cruel, so unforgiving after everything she had done for them. She couldn’t believe that they were all inside the venue dancing and enjoying themselves while she sat outside alone. Finally, she decided to go back inside. Maybe that way someone would feel guilty and see how horribly her family had treated her.

She slowly walked back into the venue head slumped down, dragged her feet. She walked in and it was like no one even noticed she was missing. She spotted Ferris and Sloan across the room lost in the moment as they sh start shared a slow dance. He dipped her gracefully and the crowd formed a wide circle around them offering silent shears.

As Sloane made her way up to Ferris, he grazed her jaw and leaned in for a kiss. Off to the side. Kate noticed Jenny standing proudly with her drink in her hand, but it was the right, it was the sight of Cal. His arm draped more than friendly around her shoulder that caught her off guard. Kate stood frozen, staring in disgust, uncertain of what to do next.

She began to walk forward. Her steps slow and deliberate. Just then a tap on her shoulder. Kate quickly turned around to see the wedding planner, Yvette, and a man she didn’t recognize dressed in a suit. Kate, I’m sorry, but we’re gonna have to ask you to leave Yvette politely said, trying not to cause a scene.

Okay. I’m gonna stop there because as you guys can hear, I am not a trained speaker. I am not. A voice actor. So many people like still are like, oh, I wish you would read the next book. I like the audio book, but I wish it was your voice ’cause they’re just used to me in the skit. But that should show you guys like, it is so hard.

I don’t know, like, I dunno if I just overthink, but it’s hard to like enunciate things the right way or pronounce things the right way, especially when you’re just reading it for someone, knowing it’s being recorded. So I know I messed up a little bit while reading that, but, It was also good for me because like I said, I’m a little behind on this one and, I need to send it to an editor soon. I’m on currently on chapter 36 or seven. This one’s gonna be a lot longer. There’s a lot more detail, like I said. so I’m looking at maybe closer to a 300 page book. We’ll see. I don’t know how many chapters yet. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed that little sneak peek.

I do tend to send little sneak peeks, in the newsletter here and there just of random paragraphs. Sometimes I’ll post ’em on social media as well. But, I’m just, really excited to get it out to you guys. I know some, many of you guys read through the first one so quickly, so hopefully I can get this out to you guy pretty soon.

Wedding Drama Showdowns: This or That?

Okay, next up we are gonna do the this or that. Pick aside wedding drama debates. As I read these off, I want you guys to also like say out loud what you would rather do. I think it’s always interesting to hear differences of opinion. Okay. Rapid fire. Your DJ cancels last minute, or your photographer ghost you the day of.

yeah, we’re gonna go with DJ canceling last minute. I know I’ve done similar ones before, so hopefully I’m not repeating them. some of these, I know that one sounds kind of familiar, but you know what I feel like with DJs, again, DJs are great, but we all have Spotify on our phone. Most of us do. So photographer.

Nothing can replace a professional photographer. iPhones are great. Photos are getting better on phones, but I would rather have someone be able to focus on taking photos and not think about it. mother-in-law wears white, or Best Man gives an inappropriate speech. At my own wedding, I would say.mean, how inappropriate are we talking?

I don’t know. Like I’d probably say mother-in-law wears white. I mean for me, that doesn’t really bother me If I would look at some of these other stories. They already have some issues then. Yeah. That’s, a problem. Venue runs out of food or open bar closes two hours early. If I have to pick, it’s gonna be open bar closes two hours early because you do not want the venue to run out of food if you’re not feeding all your guests that is a problem. And I’ve heard horror stories of venues running out of food. I dunno how that happens. that’s bad to leave a wedding hungry. Dealing with a crying baby during your vows or a drunk uncle during your first dance. I think a drunk uncle during your first dance. I think that’s probably way more common.

And at that point, hopefully the music is loud enough and there’s a big enough circle where you don’t really notice it unless he is like so drunk. He’s like walking onto the dance floor and like bothering you guys. But either way, I think, the vows are definitely a more intimate moment where you probably don’t want the distractions.

Okay. a bridesmaid, drops out the night before, or a groomsman shows up late and tipsy, eh, I’d say groomsman shows up late and tipsy. A bridesmaid dropping out the night before we. Unless there was like an emergency that would be kind of crappy, that wouldn’t feel too good if the groomsmen’s a little tipsy when he shows up, whatever.

I mean, we had some drunk grooms men, they handled it fine. Okay. Rain on your outdoor ceremony or blistering heat with no ac. Rain on your outdoor ceremony. I think it could actually be really pretty. there’s something about when there’s overcast, like if we’re talking a little rain, it’s overcast.

The photos actually look really pretty and you’ve got your girls there. You’ve got, maybe your hairstylist has already left, but if you’ve got your girls, just a little hairspray, whatever. I think it’s fine. Okay. Discover a guest live streamed your ceremony without permission or see your wedding. Hashtag hijacked by strangers.

I did not have a wedding hashtag. I don’t even know if that’s a thing anymore. I’m sorry. If people are still doing that, they might be, I think that’s one of those trends that are kind of dying out, so. If someone wants to use it, that’s fine. I remember when we first got engaged, I don’t even know.

I remember kind of thinking about hashtags ’cause my last name’s in it. So I feel like you can do a lot with that. But then I was like, I don’t know if people do this anymore. caterer forgets the cake or florist delivers the wrong color scheme.

I am not, I know I said rapid fire and I’m explaining all my answers. If there’s no other dessert, you can’t forget the cake. If there’s no other dessert, Floris delivers the wrong color scheme. I’m gonna go with that because I mean, if they’re still pretty. I’m not someone that is a big, like flower person.

I had fake flowers at my wedding. I was not about to spend $5,000 on flowers. that’s just me. so yeah, if they came and they were like slightly the wrong color, I don’t know. I don’t think there’s a color I would hate or anything. Seating chart disaster exes were seated together or your boss was seated at the kids’ table.

That’s pretty funny.

I would say. Ex is seated together because in my, like in my writing era right now, and I’m like, Ooh, that sounds like a good story. Like I’m like, Ooh, two exes are seated at a table together and then maybe they hit it off. yeah, that’s just where my mind’s going. Kids table is kind of just humorous for me, honestly.

Okay, last one. Have to wear the world’s itst wedding shoes or smile through an off key karaoke performance dedicated to you. Oh, I don’t want a dedicated karaoke performance. I just don’t want that at all. But itchy wedding shoes, I don’t think I’ve ever had itchy shoes. those both sound really terrible.Okay, you guys need to tell me. What would you guys pick? I think I would go with, if we’re talking like a one minute karaoke performance, let’s just go with that. I’m not wearing itchy shoes.

The Ultimate Bridezilla: Rules, Group Chats, and Friendship Fallout

Okay, let’s get to the moment you guys are all waiting for. Let’s react to these crazy stories. like I said, we’ve got two, so let’s see what we got.

Okay.This story actually went viral a few years ago on Reddit when another bridesmaid posted it on an, am I the asshole Red? She told her side, which I’ll share with her permission, but I never got to share mine.

It’s definitely a brides list story. Okay. So when I first glanced at this, I thought she was saying this was a popular Reddit, story, which it kind of is, but she was also a bridesmaid at this wedding, so she’s kind of telling her own perspective of it, of a Bridezilla story. Okay. This is wild, and I bet you guys are gonna love this because.

We don’t get a ton of Bridezilla stories. Most of the stories that are sent to me are from brides themselves. So we get every other perspective. And people are all the time, like, well, brides aren’t perfect either. There’s Bridezillas. Yes. We all know there’s tons of Bridezillas. Hence why the name started.

Right. so I’m excited for this I’m wearing my white today. Okay, here we go. The bride started off by telling us that if we got engaged or pregnant before her wedding, we were out. Ah. I would just jump ship right then. No, that’s not a friend. You can’t get engaged or pregnant when she’s enga.

When she’s And the wedding. Wait, the wedding was more than two years away. So she expects in that two years for you to pause your own life, bow down to her and do whatever she wants in those two years, no, I’m out. Like we’re not even talking like a quick engagement. We’re talking two years away. You can’t get engaged and you can’t get pregnant.

No, I’m not pausing. I’ve always said this. I would not pause my own life or relationship for somebody else. Like I had a lot of friends that, like when other friends were getting married and stuff, they’re like, oh, okay, well I’m gonna wait to try to have kids till after because I don’t wanna be pregnant at their wedding.

And for me, I was like, your timing is your timing. Like if that’s, if you would rather like be able to party at a wedding, that’s fine. But for me, I was like, I wanna do it when I’m ready. And sure enough, like. I was a pregnant maid of honor at one of my friend’s weddings, and it was really fun.

It was fine, like my feet hurt a lot more. My body was a lot more sore by the end of the night, but I was not about to pause because another friend was getting married. Okay. She told us that we were expected to pay for everything except the wedding itself. I understand when someone doesn’t have a lot of money, but I’m talking about her meals on the bachelorette trip.

We also pay for the trip itself. All of her drinks were in clubs with entry fees. She also expected us to cover, and even her Ubers, I get helping with the party, but every single meal, drink and ride, she didn’t even want to split it. She just didn’t want to pay.

Okay. So here’s the thing with bachelorette parties, and I think communication is really important. Most every bachelorette party I’ve been on and I’ve been on a lot, I’ve never took the time to sit down and count them, but I would say I’ve been to at least nine or 10. Yeah, because I’ve been to Bachelorettes for every wedding I’ve been in and then my own, and I’m sure I’ve been to some. I wasn’t in, we’ve always just split the bride’s cost amongst everybody. And, but that’s always been kind of communicated. Like I said, with all our friend group, we kind of just know that’s what is expected. but when you kind of come in with that entitled behavior, that’s where there’s a problem. cause many of the brides still would buy like rounds of drinks or they would just like. Bring gift bags for everybody. You know, there’s different ways of like giving back to your bridesmaids. this doesn’t sit well with me because she’s coming in very rude and entitled. this is does not sound like a wedding I would be a part of. okay.

She had a long list of rules for how we were supposed to look at both the bachelorette party and the wedding. For the wedding. She picked out our dresses, which were pricey, and we had to get her approval on our hair, nails, and shoes. Oh, wow. when the dresses came in. More than a year in advance.

Why are we getting dresses a year in advance? Like most people like get engaged a year before their wedding. Right. You don’t need your dress that much in advance. Plus your body can change so much through different things, right? Unless this bride’s like you can’t gain weight, you can’t lose weight, you need to stay the way you are. Like, this would not surprise me from this kind of bride. some of mine didn’t get theirs until like maybe two months before the wedding. ‘Cause you have to think about it. Like you get sized for it, you buy it, it gets to you. ‘ cause we did all ours online. Then you have to get it like altered, right? So if you’re, shorten it, you fix up anyway. And I mean, most of the weddings I was in, like, we were just if you wanna get your hair done, I’m thinking. I’ve had some that were more specific, they’d be like, oh, I want updo for everybody. I’m personally not a fan of an updo. Everyone’s different. And then for nails, everyone was just like, do what you want with your nails. Some had like preferences for shoes, they’d be like, oh, we want gold shoes. We want just wear tan shoes. Just wear black shoes. But I don’t think I’ve had any that were like, you have to wear these shoes. One wedding, I was in one of the first weddings I was in I think the problem is, I don’t if problem’s the right word. We were just so young. So we all went to get bridesmaid dresses together and we were literally just walking around the store and like, how, when do you think about this? What do you think about this? And then we all picked the same like silver shoes and they were the most painful shoes. so we all just matched, but I think that’s kind of, we’re kind of veering away from that outlook now.

Okay. so when the dresses came in more than a year in advance, she demanded that we all do a mock try on video on our own time and send it to her right away.

This is when people are more. Care more about the overall look and like how everything’s like perfect than the actual like marriage or like wedding.

At one point I temporarily withdrew because she was too much. I wasn’t the only one, but I was one of the few who ended up going back. Ooh. I wonder why. Within days of her engagement, she started creating group chats, multiple ones, some with just bridesmaids, some with bridesmaids and groomsmen, and on different platforms like Facebook and Snapchat.

Yeah, I’m already overwhelmed. That’s too much for me.

She expected us to check them constantly.

Okay. Full disclosure, when I’m in a bridesmaid group chat, I silence it. you need, boundaries. I love a group chat as much as the next person, and I’ll be in there when I can be. But if I’m in a group chat with, let’s say, 10 other girls, you’ll never have time for anything else. If all you’re doing is reading this thing, I turn off alerts and I check it when I can. And that’s how it should be for everybody. Or if it’s too much for you, just get out of it and find out the most important things. the wedding was years away. When she wasn’t sending us long essays of rules, she was asking our opinions on wedding details. Then getting mad when we didn’t answer, why are we in this wedding? Why are these people in this wedding? This girl sounds terrible to be around. It was like she expected us to plan it out for her. She was making demands daily, but while she worked from home, most of us didn’t. I didn’t have the time to constantly check chats for her new rules. She thrived on attention. So getting married was basically her dream come true, though not for the usual reasons.

The. I’m not surprised someone like this caring more about control and having all eyes on her is not gonna be as excited about the marriage or what’s coming next. They’re more excited about the overall appeal, having a reason to post photos on social media, having people come at, oh, you look so beautiful. Oh your the most beautiful bride. They are not thinking about like, oh, I’m getting married. Oh, I’m signing a contract essentially to live and be married with this person for my life. Hopefully. this is wild. Okay. Eventually she demanded that we all meet for a dress fitting fine, but the wedding was still over a year away. She told us we had to order the dresses by August, 2020, even though the wedding wasn’t until September, 2022. What, what kind of dress are you ordering? even like custom made bride, like bride dresses. Why can I not think of a word? a bridal gown. I ordered mine 10 months before. My wedding was not custom.

It was not custom. We’re talking like a $1,200 dress. Not custom, but I’m thinking like a year is probably fine for that kind of stuff. Like, I don’t know. Correct me if I’m wrong, but this sounds wild to me. Like I said, bridesmaids I think ordered their dresses like six months before the wedding. if we did not order by then or we couldn’t attend the fitting, which she gave us a little notice for, we were out.

I need to know how many other bridesmaids there were and who all dropped out because there’s like at least three points already that I would’ve been out of this wedding. By this point, I had started ignoring the chats. I figured she’d text if it was important. She never did. She only used Snapchat. Who uses Snapchat?

if you’re only listening, I just made a face. I don’t use Snapchat. And to me, the last time I used it was like college maybe. Right? Post college to me. it was only for like instant things you want people to see. Not like, for a constant, like things disappeared, don’t they? Oh gosh.

she could see if we read the messages. If someone didn’t reply, she would literally tag the person until they replied almost as if to shame them. Oh my God, this is wild. Like also as someone like now, like it’s probably more since I’ve become a mom, but like I’ll read text messages sometimes and I’m like, oh, okay, I can’t reply right now.

And I try to remember later. Half the time. I remember later, half the time, I’ll remember like three days later I’ll be like, oh crap, I need to reply to that person. But like sometimes people just read it and they forget. Or if they don’t have anything to say, and that’s okay. Our phones like in social media and like the technology now makes it feel like if someone texts us or calls us or emails us, we have to reply right away.

And so we just always feel like go, go, go, go, go. I have to reply. And it’s like no boundaries, like people do not deserve access to us 24 7. We deserve to shut off from the world as much as we want to. that’s just too much. I get it.

It was her wedding and she was excited, but the demands were reasonable. When I skipped the fitting, she shamed me in the group chat and got others to do the same. Got others to do the same. Who is shaming her then? What the heck? This is so weird. Who? Who would stay friends with someone like this?

That moment caused my many bridesmaids to drop out. She got replacements, but most of ’em eventually dropped out too. Replacements. Gosh, the viral Reddit story came from another bridesmaid’s perspective. In short, the bride who was a photographer made backhanded comments about her body after she had a baby, basically telling her to lose the weight.

I knew it. I knew this kind of person with shame, someone for a weight gain. Telling her to lose the weight for the wedding, which your body, anyone knows anyone that’s had had a child or just as you get older, it’s so much harder to lose weight. And it’s not even that, it’s your body just changes, your body handles food, exercise, um.

Sitting down, you know, just your body changes. So even if you don’t gain weight, sometimes you go up in sizes or sometimes you gain weight and you go down and like you’re, it’s just everybody is different. Like how in the year of 2025 do we still have to explain that everybody’s different, but metabolism’s different, how we absorb food is different.

Like I’m no health expert. I can just see like we can, we need to accept people. Like that’s wild. I would never make comments about a friend’s weight and say, you need to lose your baby weight. What the heck? This wasn’t out of character. The bride often made comments like that and later tried to act innocent.

She thrived on putting others down to make herself feel better. Even before the wedding, I had my own horror stories. She copied everything I did. At first, I thought it was cute, like a best friend thing, until I realized it wasn’t I got a pet. Then she got one only take of it up later. She later copied my car, my purchases, my style, and even my hobbies, worst of all.

But when I became pregnant at 20 unexpectedly and in a difficult situation, she spent my entire pregnancy reminding me how glad she was that she wasn’t pregnant. Why? Why are you still friends with this girl? She does not like you. She does not like anybody. She sounds like someone that’s very unhappy, so she has to constantly put people down around her and someone that’s gonna make fun of you or put you down when you’re pregnant or your body changes, or when you’re going through a sad moment in your life, she’s not gonna be there for you.

Oh my gosh, this is wild. Um, she spent my entire pregnancy. Oh yeah. Okay. So later, after visiting me at 37 weeks, she suddenly started saying she wished she was pregnant too. And within a month she was trying. Soon after she ended up pregnant as well. So these girls are really young. I’m trying to wait. Is this all before the wedding?

I’m so confused. Okay. It says, before the wedding, this all happened. So she was pregnant at 20 before the wedding, so I don’t know how many years later this was it. And so the bride and herself have children. Okay. Fast forward, she eventually apologized and I was back in the wedding. Things went smoothly though she still micromanaged for the bachelorette party.

She wanted us to buy three new approved outfits for going out. No, like I’ve talked about before, I’ve been to many bachelorette parties where there’s like themes and I love it. I love a good theme. Sometimes they’re hard to find, but we go to thrift store. Sometimes we buy stuff on Amazon. You know, whatever.

You can find like. No one would be like, you have to buy a new outfit, or we switched outfits. Like no one would be like, you have to go buy a new outfit, and I, I need to approve it. Like, no. Um, and she kept reminding us to not look hotter than the bride. I work out regularly and was the slimmest in the group.

So she often made outfit suggestions that she knew wouldn’t flatter me. She wanted all the attention. During nights out, if men came up to talk to me or the other bridesmaids, she would immediately jump in, announce that she was the bride, and start bragging. Oh my gosh. The wedding itself. I’m just, you know what the most shocking thing about all this is, is that she still has bridesmaids and friends at the end of this, because this is just so wild to me.

Like I’ve never personally been in a situation like this where a bride was like terrible. So. You can never say how you would truly, truly, you would never know how you would truly, truly act unless you were in that position. But on the outside, there’s like eight different moments now where I’d be like, yeah, I’m gone.

Yeah, I’m gone. Yeah. I’m not in this like that is wild. To me, that is the most shocking part of this whole thing, is that she still had friends stick by her side and stand up by her side during the ceremony. Um, it says afterwards she was angry that we didn’t talk to her enough or try harder to see her.

Later she announced another pregnancy, even though doctors had warned her, she was high risk. Thankfully, she and the baby were fine, but the due date was the same as my birthday. She repeated the date to me without even realizing it, and when I said I was honored, she was triggered and actually. Arranged to be induced early.

This girl will never be happy. Our friendship officially ended when she shamed us all for forgetting her wedding anniversary. Okay? Like you can know your friend’s wedding anniversaries, but like there are so many, like, as we get older, there’s so many things to remember, right? It’s like birthdays, anniversaries, kids’ birthdays, uh, you know, whatever.

Your own personal life things, right? Your own, your own family, husbands birthday, your own anniversary, your own kids work, work stuff. I mean, there’s so many things I would never expect any of my friends to wish me a happy anniversary. Like I’m more shocked when people say happy anniversary. I’m like, oh, I guess it is my anniversary.

What do you know? That is wild. Our, uh, she says, I know this is long and all over the place, but there’s just so much to unpack. I. Girl, I feel for you and I, and I can’t, I’m not, I hope this doesn’t come off that I’m like shaming her for staying friends with so long, her, so long. Because it’s hard when you are really invested in a friendship or you’ve known someone a really long time and maybe she flipped or maybe you’re just used to being that.

Yes, yes girl, that friend that’s always there, right? I know I have before where you’re just like, yeah, I’m there for you. I got this for you. I got this. And then finally, years later, or as you get older, you can look in the mirror and be like, why did I do that? This girl never did anything for me. Or all she did was talk bad about me.

Why was I still willing to do all these things? So I’m just responding to this as who I am right now. But if this happened, you know, when they were in their early twenties, if this happened when I was in my early twenties. Maybe some of the stuff I’d be like, okay, it’s fine. She’s my friend. It’s okay. But this girl is a straight up bully.

And I’m glad as the years went on, more and more brides were like, or bridesmaids in her wedding, were like, okay, this is not normal behavior. I am not gonna be friends with this person. Wow. Well thank you for sharing that. I, I think we need to find the actual like Reddit story now and read the other bridesmaids perspective and, um.

Family Feud at the Altar: When Weddings Expose True Colors

If there’s more as you’re unpacking this, feel free, feel free to send more. All right, guys, I got one more story. Um, as I first, when I first started reading the beginning of story number one, um, I thought it was a Reddit story, so I was like, okay, well we need to have a submission too. So we’re gonna have two submissions today.

All right, here we go.

Okay. We had a pretty dramatic situation at a family wedding that might make for an interesting story. My youngest brother is very narcissistic and controlling. He always thinks he’s the center of attention at every family gathering. He makes everyone miserable and demands that we constantly consider how things are impacting him.

When my oldest niece got married, she did not include either my daughter or her other cousin, my brother’s daughter, as attendance. Both girls were pretty disappointed. Later, when his youngest daughter was chosen as a flower girl, my brother and his wife insisted they couldn’t possibly pay for a dress or anything related to it.

My parents ended up footing the bill for her entire outfit. Okay. I’m trying to get like the family tree in my head. So her, her youngest brother’s narcissistic, her oldest niece got married. Did not include her daughter or her brother’s daughter. Then his youngest daughter was chosen as a flower girl. Got it.

It’s hard when just one kid is invited to a wedding. That’s what’s kind of weird. Um. That’s, and it’s hard for kids to understand like, oh, we want you as a flower girl. You’re invited, but no one else’s. It happens though, fortunately. Okay, fast forward to my daughter’s wedding three years later. She felt terrible for her cousin who had been left out before, so she made her one of the bridesmaids.

Once again, my brother complained that he couldn’t pay for anything, so my husband and I covered the cost of her bridesmaid dress a tie for him. Outfits for both his wife and other daughter since they were guest book at attendants. Wow. You paid for the whole wedding to get dressed for your wedding. Okay.

The whole family, I feel like I said, the whole wedding, whole family, they took it full advantage of the food, enjoyed the entertainment, but didn’t lift a finger to help with set up our cleanup. Yeah. A couple years later, his oldest daughter, the one who had been a bridesmaid, was now getting married. Okay.

Okay. I’m getting this now. Okay? Mm-hmm. A couple of years later, his oldest daughter, the one who was a bridesmaid, was now getting married. There was a lot of talk about what kind of wedding they were planning. Keep in mind. This brother has never hosted us, never paid for a meal, and always brings the cheapest things possible to family gatherings.

But now he was going to host a full buffet dinner and margarita bar for this wedding, and naturally we were all excited. The invitations went out and only my parents were invited. None of the other immediate family received an invitation, including my daughter who had been a bridesmaid for her cousin.

Wait, so that’s weird. So he didn’t invite his own siblings to the, to the wedding, and she didn’t invite her cousins to the wedding. Okay. I asked when we could. Expect our invitations and was told we had to make selections because there were just too many friends we wanted to invite. There’s not room for you guys at the church, so you’re not a priority.

I added that. This of course, was after I had been invited repeatedly to multiple wedding showers. Multiple. How many wedding showers are there? Hosted by different family members and reminded about the importance of being generous with my gift giving. Okay. There’s a lot to unpack there. First of all, if you are getting invited to a shower, you should also be getting an invite to the wedding.

I personally think it’s very rude to invite someone to the shower that you do not plan inviting to the wedding. A couple of exceptions would be. If, um, let’s say it’s a really, really small wedding, like destination or you’re, you eloped, or, um, a micro wedding. So pretty much no one’s getting invited. Then you do like a work shower, like your work team, you know, throws, throws a surprise then sure, that’s fine.

But other than that, for the most part, if you are having a shower, everyone should be invited. I. If you’re not inviting everybody, don’t have a shower. That simple. Um, second part of that is who is this family member that’s reminding you about the importance of generous gift giving? That is wild. That is wild.

Needless to say, we were very hurt. The one time my brother was going to pay for dinner, we weren’t even invited, but oh well, we decided to make other plans for that weekend. When the wedding weekend arrived, it became clear that most of her so-called work friends weren’t even going to show up on her side of the church.

There were only about six family members in attendance. The night before the wedding, my brother called me demanding to know why I wasn’t coming. What as though he hadn’t told me I wasn’t invited, I calmly explained that we knew we weren’t invited and had made other plans. He became irate, accusing me of being mean to his daughter, saying I didn’t care that she wouldn’t have enough people on our side and insisting it would look bad that her own family wasn’t there.

So this is someone that wants you there. When they need you and when they don’t, they don’t want to even think of you or see you. And because he realized that friends weren’t coming, friends that he thought he could count on weren’t coming, they’re like, oh look, that’s when we rely on family, our generous gift givers.

That is wild. She says, we still didn’t go. And sure enough, her side of the church was two thirds empty. That’s when people lean more into the looks of it all again. Again, you know, they’re like, oh, we have to say no to family ’cause they have to forgive us. Right? That’s the thing you hear too, is like, blood is thicker than water.

That all those phrases, they’re like, oh, the family has to forgive us, so we’re gonna put them on the bottom of the totem pole. But it’s very clear here that they probably should have just invited family, but. That is wild. Family dynamics are crazy around these kind of events. So true colors came out and now you know not to bend over backwards for someone like that or help out someone like that because it sounds like he was just trying to use you.

All right guys. Well, that is all I have for this week. That is a pretty wild couple of stories there. Hope you guys enjoyed the Bridezilla story. I know many of you guys have asked for one. as always, you can submit. Stories to me, big or small, I get full on novel sent to me. I get tiny little,

Stories about things that happen, and then people also send me questions about advice. So if you guys ever have any of those, you can DM me on social media. You can submit it at the link, in the show notes as well. All right, guys, well, thank you so much for joining me. don’t forget that my brand new book, I don’t know how long I can call it brand new for, but I’m excited.

here comes the drama of Ferris and Stone Story is out now. We also have the audio book out now, which I’m so excited about. I know I’m not the voice actor, but she is amazing. Her name’s Shiloh James, and she just did a, such a great job. and don’t forget to tag me on social media at Party Planning by Christa for a chance to be featured on my page.

I love seeing your guys’ dms, reposts and videos, all about the book. It’s been so much fun to read. and of course, leave a review. It just helps more people see it, and I love seeing them. all right guys. Thanks for hanging out with me and I’ll see you next time. Bye now.

by Christa Innis

Education Hot Seats, Reality Checks & a Red Flag Romance — with Colleen Borgert

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

Get the book!

Weddings can bring out the best and the worst in families but what happens when the drama takes center stage?

In this episode, Christa and Colleen Borgert dive deep into a story about a whirlwind engagement, a strained family dynamic, and a wedding that almost didn’t happen. Did the bride make the right choice when she called off the marriage after just one month?

Tune in as Christa and Colleen share candid thoughts on red flags, family loyalty, and how important it is to trust your instincts when the pressure’s on. A powerful reminder that it’s never too late to walk away from a bad relationship.

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month!

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

07:22 Teaching Background and Career Path

12:14 Wedding Would You Rather Questions

18:41 Meeting Her Husband at a Wedding

24:36 Discussing Wedding Food and First Dances

30:12 No Ring No Bring Wedding Policy

36:20 Wedding Story Submission

42:26 Red Flags in the Relationship

48:42 The Divorce and Moving Forward

54:39 Wedding Confessions

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

Engagement Red Flags – The couple’s whirlwind engagement raised questions about moving too fast and overlooking key signs.
Family Drama Unfolds – The bride’s experience with her fiancé’s family dynamics and how it impacted her big day.
The Sister’s Role – Colleen shares her thoughts on the fiancé’s younger sister and the implications of her behavior.
Unspoken Expectations – How family members’ expectations can shape wedding plans, and the consequences of unmet expectations.
The Pushback on No Kids Policy – Colleen’s wedding no-kids policy and the pushback it created from family members.
Taking Control of Your Wedding – The importance of setting boundaries with family members and ensuring the wedding day feels right for the couple.
Dealing with Toxic Family Members – The challenges of navigating toxic family relationships and prioritizing your own happiness.
A Bold Divorce Decision – The courage it took for the bride to end the marriage and choose a life that was healthier for her.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“Sometimes the most dramatic moments are the ones that push us into the right decision.” – Christa Innis
“There’s no rule that says you have to settle for a big wedding if it doesn’t feel right for you.”– Christa Innis
“When we look back at those relationships, we realize: we were just rushing for the sake of rushing.”– Christa Innis
“If something doesn’t feel right, trust your gut, even if everyone else says you should push through.”– Christa Innis
“Wedding day stress isn’t just about the day it’s about what it reveals about the people around you.”– Christa Innis
It’s not about the number of guests, it’s about the intimacy and connection you want to share.” – Colleen Borgert
“Some family dynamics are just too toxic to navigate around. You’ve got to know when to step away.” – Colleen Borgert
“At that moment, I realized that the wedding I envisioned wasn’t the one that was actually happening.” – Colleen Borgert
“It’s hard to face red flags when you’re too caught up in the idea of what should be.” – Colleen Borgert
“A good family should never make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, it should always feel like a safe place.” – Colleen Borgert

About Colleen:

Colleen Borgert is a Catholic ESL Director, wife, and mom with 15 years of experience in education. She is passionate about advocating for all students and dedicated to unlearning and growing into the best version of herself. Colleen’s journey into TikTok began as a way to raise awareness for a comfort closet in her school, providing essential items like toothbrushes, socks, and deodorant for at-risk students. Her efforts gained traction, and after the election, her content evolved to reflect the changing landscape of education. Now, Colleen shares insights on shifting educational laws and provides parents with important updates on what’s happening in their local schools.

Follow Colleen Borgert:

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of, here Comes The Drama. It’s so funny, I put together these intros week after week and you know, I thought it would seem more and more natural, but like sometimes when I read off things, it just feels like I. Uh, not very natural to me. But anyways, thanks for being here, guys.

I’m excited to share another exciting episode. We are joined by Colleen Bogart this week. She’s also known as Leanie Borg on TikTok. She is a Midwest mom educator and all around advocate for her students who need it most. Colleen is known for her heart humor and the way she shows up unapologetically herself.

But don’t let the smile fool you. She’s not afraid to speak up. Stand strong and keep it real both in and out of the classroom. In this episode, we play around of would you rather dive into some wedding hot takes, of course. And then finally, we react to a wedding story submission with an ending you will not see coming.

And I just wanna say, I had so much fun hanging out with Colleen. She’s so real. She was so much fun, and I’m excited for you guys to hang out with us. So without further ado, here’s our episode. Enjoy.

Hi, Colleen. Thank you for being here. Thank you so much. I’m so excited. I’m so excited to have you here. I mean, I think I was telling you before we started recording, like I came across your stuff on, on TikTok and ology. Probably like, I don’t even know, time is, time is funny, but it was probably like over a year ago.

I just love the stuff you put out. So thank you for taking the time and being here today.

Colleen Borgert: Thank you. Yeah. Um, I’ve been on TikTok a little over three years now and have been following you and all of your wedding shenanigans that you put out there and amongst everything that’s happening, like you’re really good comedic relief for me, so I appreciate that.

Christa Innis: Oh, good. Oh, that’s, I love, I love hearing that. It’s kind of goofy just how the internet, I was just telling someone it feels like, it’s like talent show on like. Phone, you know, like you’re scrolling. And I just kind of like pic feel, feel like it’s like talent showing when you’re like in elementary school and everyone’s like, Hey, check out what I got.

And then it’s like the next person, they’re like, Hey, check out what I have to say. And it’s just like this funny world we live in

Colleen Borgert: it, it really is. You know, like I can envision myself doing like little somersaults on, on the stage in middle school being like, TA Yes. And now here we are.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. So true.

And just like the world, I mean, you cover a lot of it too. I feel like the world and everything that’s going on, it’s just like, there’s so many, there’s a lot of negative things going on in the world. Scary things. Mm-hmm. And so I just, I feel like maybe it’s my way of detaching. I don’t know. I don’t know what it’s, yeah.

But, um, but you know, and

Colleen Borgert: thing, things are really heavy right now and, and they’re really heavy for people of all ages, especially in education and that detachment piece, like that’s needed. So we can get up every day with a full bucket. And get to work and keep changing lives. So your detachment is my, is my healing.

So I appreciate you so much.

Teacher Turned Advocate

Christa Innis: Well, thank you. I know. I appreciate what you do too. Can you tell everyone a little bit about yourself, what you do, and kind of how that pivoted into what you share on social media?

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. So, um, this is gonna be my 15th year in education and I’ve kind of always had more of a social work type background.

And that’s originally what I got into TikTok for. Um, I was raising awareness to help build a comfort closet for, um, kiddos in my school that were from at-risk backgrounds. So, um, I would put out items that we needed, like toothbrush, socks, toothpaste, deodorant, um, just to get eyeballs on that Amazon wishlist link, and then it kind of blew up from there.

And then. After the election when everything kind of in my world pivoted and changed a little bit, so did my content. Um, because everything in the education world is shifting and changing and I wanted to let parents know, Hey, this is happening in your neck of the woods, so come on up to the front and hear about it.

So now I share more, um, educational laws that are changing, things that are adapting within the educational world.

Christa Innis: I love that. I feel like it’s so important because I, I’ve seen especially in your own content too, people will sign off on things or they’re like, agree with something until they really get to the nitty gritty and they’re like, wait, what’s happening?

Wait, department of Education’s going away. You know, and they’re like picking up these things. They’re like, wait, what does that actually mean? And they need people that are in it that know the ins and outs to explain it.

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. And, and it’s easy for every single person to kind of wear a school hat in the sense because they were a student at one point in their lives, but the lens that they see things through is that student lens and maybe not what’s behind the curtain.

So hopefully I can just pull that curtain back for people and let them see the nitty gritty of what things actually mean.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And so like what. Kind of going back, what inspired you to initially become an educator? You said you started with social. Did you start with social work and you were kind of in that field and then you kind of moved into be teaching?

Colleen Borgert: Yeah, so, um, I kind of was always in the school social work realm. And then just recently, a few years ago, I kind of navigated more into the classroom and now I work at a Catholic school. So I’m a Catholic, um, English, a second language director. And um, what I do is I ensure kiddos that do not have English as a first language, have equitable education.

Um, now more than ever. That’s extremely important. Um, I think that I feel. So I shouldn’t say think. Mm-hmm. I feel so passionate about this because I also grew up in an extremely, like poor environment, poor households. So I know what it took to like claw my way to get here. And I know that if it’s possible for me, it’s possible for other kids if I can just be that adult that I needed when I was younger.

So that’s definitely what fuels me every day that I get up and I go to school.

Christa Innis: I love that I’ve, I’ve heard that quote before about like, you like need to almost think about who you needed as a child because that’s gonna, that should be kind of like who we are as adults, because that’s gonna kind of put us back in that mind frame of like, okay, I really need an adult to hear me.

I really needed an adult to support me or understand me. Um,

Colleen Borgert: to make you feel seen and valid.

Christa Innis: Yeah, absolutely. I feel like that’s. I feel like that’s such a pivotal thing to remember because we get kind of lost in the day to day. And then especially as educators, you want someone to really care. Like, you know, my, my daughter’s too young for school yet, but when she’s in school, I’m like, you want a teacher like that that’s gonna really think like, okay, they’re gonna hear everything I say or they’re gonna see me as a person, like even if I’m quiet or, you know, those kind of things.

Colleen Borgert: Absolutely. And see the parent too, because the parent is an important part of all that.

Teacher Balancing Truth & Boundaries

Christa Innis: Yeah. Mm-hmm. So do you think, so I know you’ve kind of posted before about like, like your content changing, especially after the election, but I think even before the election you were kind of, you know, talking a little bit more about what could happen, these kind of things.

So with working at a Catholic school, is it hard to kind of. Do you have to stay in line with certain things or say certain things? I don’t wanna like get you in trouble either, so I wanna make sure you’re saying things that are okay. Mm-hmm. You know, like, are there guidelines like you, can you say certain things online or where does that fall in line with your teaching?

Colleen Borgert: Well, I think in general that is kind of just a teacher box that everyone has to stay in. Um, when it comes to my Catholic faith and, and where I align, at first I was really nervous to kind of like go out in those waters and let people know like, Hey, I’m a, I’m not a public school teacher. I’m a Catholic school teacher.

But once I showed people that. I am here for all kids regardless of religion, race, background, culture. People started to see my authentic, you know, views that I wanted to present and the information that I was giving people and it was well received. There are definite lanes that you have to stay in, um, as a teacher.

And then I think my lane is just a tad bit smaller being a Catholic school teacher, but the things that I am bringing are fact-based. Educational laws to people. So I’m really proud of that. And I think as long as I stay in my lane, you know, I’m good. And I’ve had a lot of wonderful support from my school community.

Um, they have backed me up 110%. Um, they believe that every child has the right to a free and equitable education as I do regardless of race and religion. So it’s been really good. Um, but at the end of the day, I’m an adult and I have to be able to control what I say to stay in that lane.

Christa Innis: Yeah, no, absolutely.

No, I love it. I love that they’re, they’re behind you. ’cause I mean, just in general with like content creators, like just different jobs, I’ve heard different stories where they’re like, you can’t say this, you can’t post this, you can’t do this. Um, so it’s really good to hear that there’s like supportive, um, uh, schools and communities out there.

Colleen Borgert: Oh wait, I totally butchered

A Diagnosis That Changed Everything

Christa Innis: that question, but chair, like a pivotal moment in your life that kind of shaped how you approach teaching.

Colleen Borgert: Um, I think one thing that changed my view on how I view all kids in the classroom is my son was diagnosed with Tourette’s Syndrome when he was in kindergarten and. As a parent, just hearing that diagnosis, not knowing what that looks like, um, in our, in our lives, let alone in the classroom, surrounded by, by kids he does not know.

It, it really made me like peel back my eyelids and open my eyeballs to every single kid has something different that’s going on inside of them. Mm-hmm. Every single kid that is in front of me is going to feel one way or another on a certain day. And my son deserved to have a teacher that was like, okay, you are different and you’re unique and that’s wonderful.

And how are we going to ensure that you get the exact same care and attention as every single other kiddo. Mm-hmm. In here. And I think as we’re looking at things today that are happening, happening politically. We have to remember that we are all just one diagnosis away from having a unique child. We, you know, we are, we’re one car accident away from having a child that might need to be in a wheelchair that is going to need different accommodations and is going to need a teacher that is, is loving and caring and will do absolutely everything for your kid.

Like they would for Susie Hugh, who is always there 20 minutes early, raising our hand star reader. Mm-hmm. Like every single child is different. And I want my kid to have a teacher that loves on him. Like I love on every single baby that I see every single day of the school year. Mm-hmm. So, like his diagnosis, it, it was rough for us.

It was scary. We didn’t know what that would look like. So that, that was, that was hard.

Christa Innis: Yeah. No, I think that that’s, yeah. Such an important thing because like you said, anything can change in a minute. I think. A lot of times people just like look at like, what’s gonna affect me and me only? Mm-hmm. And if you look outside and say like, well, how is this affecting other people?

Or how is it affecting that family? Or how is it affecting this family that leads to more compassion and empathy and understanding. I think that’s really what the world lacks. Because, because, um, not to like generalize, but I just feel like those are the things I’ve observed is like there’s a certain group of people that let’s look at like, well, it doesn’t bother me, so I’m fine.

Right. It’s like what anything can change, anything could happen. Like you said, like mm-hmm. Um, emergencies happen all the time or you know, I don’t know. Things, things just can change quickly. Um, that’s, yeah. That’s such a good thing to think about. Um, okay.

I wanna switch into the wedding, wedding kind of topic.

And as I was kind saying to you before we started recording is like I’m adding, I’m kinda shifting these podcast episodes a little bit different to like more conversations in the beginning, but I still haven’t kind of figured it out a transition. Sometimes it just happens naturally and other times I’m like, all right, so onto the wedding stuff.

So sorry if it seems kind of abrupt. We’re working on it. No first timer here. I think it seems fabulous. Okay. I was just like talk my way through stuff. ’cause I’m like, or like, what is it called? Not talk my way through it. I don’t know, I just like when I dunno what I’m doing, I just keep talking and figuring it out.

Girl. Same. And you’re a hand talker. So, oh my gosh. The number of people, when I first started making content that would like, like hate comments about like me using my hands, I was like,

Colleen Borgert: I dunno, I don’t know. Yeah. It just happens. I get the same. And then my next video I come out 10 times harder just like.

Christa Innis: You thought it was bad before, just wait. I know, right? It’s like, I will make sure I do it now. Well, yeah. And so one comment I got last night was, um, like I, because you know, I do like the skits and stuff, but every once in a while I come on and I’ll like explain something or I’ll give like a little background.

Someone basically was like, no one likes when you do that. Like, don’t come on and explain things. We’re here for the skits and the skits only. Don’t talk and waste our time.

Colleen Borgert: People are so rude keyboard warriors nowadays. Like, it’s absolutely ridiculous. It’s, I know, it’s crazy. I just have to

Christa Innis: laugh at the ridiculous ones.

Weddings Would-You-Rather

Okay, so starting off, let’s do a little, um, wedding. Would you rather Ooh. Completely Just random. So, okay. Um, it’s a lit, some of them might be a little tied to being a teacher, but then we’re gonna do like other ones. So here we go. Okay. Would you rather have to teach a class of 30 kids in full bridesmaid attire or chaperone recess in high heels the day after a wedding?

Colleen Borgert: Oh my goodness gracious. Well, with the amount of dancing that I do and the way that I get into shout and put my hands up in the air, yeah, I’m definitely gonna go with the 30 kids in the classroom like, yeah. A bridesmaids dress. I love a good dress up any day of the week.

Christa Innis: Yes, I know. It’s a fun, fun excuse to have like a princess day or something.

Colleen Borgert: Right. Like since Wynn is dressing up bad at school, so I, I totally will take that. But my 41-year-old body nowadays after wedding dancing, I can’t like, oh my gosh. Beautiful day recovery and yeah.

Christa Innis: No

Colleen Borgert: fun.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I know. It’s funny how that like just changes all of a sudden, like I’d be like, when people have like the full wedding weekend, I’m like, I need like one big day and then I need like a couple days of recovery.

Thank you. Yes.

Colleen Borgert: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Mm. Yeah. After, after a good wedding, you know?

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Okay. Uh, would you rather give a wedding toast with no preparation or do the Chacha slide solo in front of the whole reception?

Colleen Borgert: Oh my gosh. Chacha real smooth now. Mm. Um, I would much rather. I think just give a wedding toast.

Like, it, it, I’m a group dancer, but solo dancing, like my, my, my face drops. Like my, my face gets serious. It’s, it’s not very cool to look at. I don’t think anyone would want that, but hand me a mic and I, you know, cheers the bride and groom. That’s something I can get behind. Get behind. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. All right.

Um, would you rather attend a wedding where the ceremony lasts three hours? Or one where the DJ only plays kids? Bop.

Colleen Borgert: Oh, okay. Um, that’s a tough one. Oh man. This is, this is almost like, would you rather go to a three hour PD or do a kids bop after school hour? Oh my gosh. I, I, I think I know, I think I’m gonna still go with the three hour ceremony.

Christa Innis: Oh, I

Colleen Borgert: know. At least. At least it’s quiet.

Christa Innis: least it’s quiet. Oh my gosh. I think I would go kids b really? Every once in a while. I don’t know if it’s ’cause of my, my daughter’s too. And so every once in a while, like I get really into those kids bumps. I mean, we, I mean they, they are catchy. They’re, they’re catchy. Luckily she’s really into Wicked now.

So we listen to the Wicked soundtrack, but play, I love it. But, uh, I love a good, you know, Disney, so I don’t know about Kids. Bop we’ll see how that would go. But I

Colleen Borgert: think it’s because when I imagine kids bop, like I imagine like kindergartners. All up on me, you know, like jamming with me with their hands going down, you know, like yeah.

That’s just the vision that I have from the experiences. So yours and mine, maybe a little different.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Different vibe. Yeah. Um, would you rather sit at the all singles table with ex students? Oh, ex students’ parents, or be seated next to the couple’s ex.

Colleen Borgert: Oh my gosh. I, I actually would take the parent table for sure.

Yeah. Without a doubt. I have been really blessed with wonderful parents and that’s, you know, I did eight years in public school and I’m still connected to so many of my public school parents that I love and adore. And the last like five years in the Catholic school system, like I just, I’ve been really lucky, so.

Oh good. I bet that table’s really fun. Signed up. Yeah.

Christa Innis: And like all those parents, like letting loose. I bet it would be like a great table,

Colleen Borgert: right?

Christa Innis: Yes. Love that. A

Colleen Borgert: for everybody. Yes.

Bridesmaid Dress Drama

Christa Innis: Okay. Would you rather wear a neon bridesmaid dress that clashes with your skin tone or have the name, or have your name spelled wrong on every wedding program?

Colleen Borgert: Oh my goodness. So I am the worst speller in the world. I can totally see me misspelling something in my own wedding. I, I probably did to be honest. Um. I also wore the wrong colored bridesmaid’s dress in my cousin’s wedding two years ago. So I’ve done that as well. Um, but I’m still gonna have to go with if that bride wants me to wear, you know, the worst color in the world.

But she is like, this is my vision. I’ve I’ve got you.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Colleen Borgert: I’m, I’m ride or die for the bride. So you,

Christa Innis: you strike me as someone that would be like a really great bridesmaid. Like, you’re like hands on. You’re like, what do you need? I got you. Like, I just get that vibe from you.

Colleen Borgert: Well, until, until literally you see that I bought, I bought the wrong color, which is before we’re walking down the aisle.

So there when you’re

Christa Innis: walking down the aisle,

Colleen Borgert: oh my gosh. We walked into like the get ready room where all the dresses are hanging up. Yeah. And the maid of honor comes up to me and she’s like, oh, Pauline. Have you seen your dress? And I’m like, yeah, it’s hanging up. It’s so cute. She’s like, it’s the wrong color.

So everyone had gotten like a, a, a shade of sage. Okay. And mine was just a different shade of sage green. And

Christa Innis: you could tell So it from different like places or like, she told you like, oh, get it sage. And just sent like a picture of what she liked and then everyone just went and got thrown or, so I

Colleen Borgert: confirmed via text and I’ve always got receipts.

I pulled that out and before I bought it I was like, this is the color correct. And she said, correct. But the bride, my cousin, she was so relaxed. She’s like, I don’t care. You know, ’cause I’m crying at this point. Aw. She’s like, I don’t care. You’re walking down the aisle. You know, I’m like, I’ll stand in the back.

I don’t have to be in the wedding. Like, oh,

Christa Innis: was it that different?

Colleen Borgert: Um, it was like one shade lighter. You, you could,

Christa Innis: you could tell,

Colleen Borgert: you could tell I ruined the wedding pictures for sure. Oh. But you know, this is the family. She was a great, I mean, she’s just a great person, so I got really lucky. Um, but yeah, if the bride needs me, whatever the bride needs me to do, I’m gonna do it.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. I, you know, I feel like, especially now too, it’s like I’ve seen it more weddings where the bridesmaid dresses don’t exactly match. I know. I actually love that. Yeah, I know. I feel like it’s like adding a little more uniqueness. I think, like at my wedding it was like, um, from, from Birdie Gray, which is like, you can order them all online, they’re under a hundred dollars and you just, you can pick like a color scheme.

So like, mine was like mov, but there’s like three shades of mov and people are like, what color? I’m like, I don’t care. Any of the, any of them. Any of them,

Colleen Borgert: they’re gonna look so pretty.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I just feel like. It, I feel like gone are the days where people wear the exact same dress. Right. Maybe every, I’m sure it happens here and there, but

Colleen Borgert: Yeah.

And in my wedding, um, I just did black satin. All the girls just had to do a black satin and it needed to be like t length and didn’t care other than that, so yeah, it was really unique. Like I just, I, I love the non-uniform look. Yeah. And that’s probably the Catholic school teacher in me coming out being like, eh, we don’t need a uniform up in here.

We’re

Wedding Party Love Story

Christa Innis: done with the uniforms, please. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Okay. Let’s move into some wedding hot takes and stories. You said you have a story of how you met your husband at a wedding, so let’s get into that.

Colleen Borgert: Okay, so I met Mr. Borger. Uh, we were both in the same wedding party for my cousin almost 16 years ago.

And, um, he kind of clocked me right away and was like, that’s the girl I wanna marry. So we got to the reception, danced a little bit. Um, there was definite connection early on. We both went our own ways. Um, the next week he called my cousin, old school, got my number, called me on the telephone. I heard this man’s voice who does that anymore?

So un heard of these days. I know. And he asked me out on a date and we have been together ever since. But yeah, he went up to my cousin who was the bride, and said, I just want you to know I’m gonna marry that girl. And

Christa Innis: oh my gosh, that’s like a romantic story.

Colleen Borgert: I know I love, love.

Christa Innis: Oh my God. So how is he connected to the wedding?

Like was he like a groomsmen or He was the fiance’s or fiance, I guess your cousin’s husband.

Colleen Borgert: Yes, friend. He was, um, a longtime childhood friend of the groom. Okay. So now they get to be at family functions together and we’re like pretty our kids together. So it’s. It’s wonderful.

Christa Innis: I love that when like, they’re already kind of like connected, so there’s like no extra introduction.

It’s like he’s already kind of, you got an in, he’s got an in. Mm-hmm. Um, and then for you, it was a family wedding, so your family was probably already there. And so like did he like meet your parents then at the wedding and everything?

Colleen Borgert: Um, I don’t know if he necessarily like, met them, met them at the wedding.

Yeah. But he was invested in the fun that my family can have for sure. We are in good time, so I love that. Yeah, he, he was there for it.

Christa Innis: Oh, that’s awesome. I love that story. ’cause like, usually when I ask people like crazy stories, they’re like, I mean, I, I kind of put people, I try to not put people on the spot, but, um, I.

I love that it was like a positive good story. Yes. Because I always tell people, I’m like, people just remember these crazy moments. That’s why I share them. But like for the most part, like there are so many great wedding stories and like fun moments and just like, just like wild moments about, you know, yes.

Things hanging out. Um. Awesome. I love that.

The Great Wedding Dinner Debate

Okay, let’s get into some wedding hot takes. Okay. These are people send me on Instagram. We’ll just kind of react together and see uh, what our thoughts are. Okay. This one says buffets over plated dinners faster, more variety and fewer awkward chicken and steak texts.

I dunno what the text means, but,

oh, I just copied something. Yeah. Fewer awkward chicken and steak dinners.

Colleen Borgert: So are, are you asking which one do I prefer?

Christa Innis: It’s just a hot take that someone sent, so, yeah, I mean, you can say what you think about it. Um,

Colleen Borgert: so there, there was one summer, um, like my husband and I had been married for maybe like two years, and we legit had 10 weddings from like May until September.

Like mm-hmm. He’s five years older than me, so my friends were in like prime time wedding season. Mm-hmm. And it was almost every single wedding had the same chicken with that white gravy. I think it might. Oh yeah. Like on top with the mashed potatoes and everybody thinks that they’re doing something special when they’re not, you know, like it’s just boring.

But one of our friends catered in Qdoba at their wedding. And I have never forgotten it. Like, I have never forgotten the Qdoba wedding. And I hope that if this airs they hear this and they know how special their Qdoba wedding was to me. So, you know, I’m a, I’m a fan of a buffet, you know, poor girl from a poor neighborhood.

We loved our buffets growing up. Um, so I don’t mind a good buffet at a wedding.

Christa Innis: I know. I was just saying to someone, like when I was younger at weddings, I was like, like years from getting married, I was like, oh yeah, I wouldn’t, I don’t think I would do a buffet. I like the plated dinner. And then as I got older I was like, I love a buffet.

Like I just love it. And then of course when I got married I did a taco bar and I was like, this is where it’s at. Oh, you did the, you did

Colleen Borgert: the taco. There are people that came to your wedding that 20 years from now are gonna be like, I went to a taco of our wedding and it’s going to be you girl. Yeah. That is the wedding that they are referencing.

It’s yours.

Christa Innis: I was just like, I. Never really was a big fan of plated dinners unless they’re like, I don’t know, every once in a while. Yeah. Like surprised me. Really good. But I also worked at a hotel for, gosh, three years in college. So like I would saw all the banquet foods and I saw them and not like saying they were gross or anything, but like I saw how they would keep ’em warm and I just, I don’t know, just not my thing.

And so I was like, when there’s a buffet though, you take what you want. Maybe go for seconds, get a little guacamole in there. We’re good.

Colleen Borgert: Yes. I’m here for it. I’m here for it. And I love that you did. I can’t believe it. You did Taco. I know. You’re

Christa Innis: seko. Dopa. I was like, yes. It was pretty close. It was like a local place, but it was like, it was perfect.

Like perfect.

Colleen Borgert: Yes. Yeah. And people appreciate it.

Christa Innis: And pizza for a late night snack. Yes.

Colleen Borgert: The, the best weddings that bring out that 11:00 PM like fill your belly up snack. The best.

First Dance or Skip It?

Christa Innis: Yes. Oh, it’s the best. Um, okay. This next one says, not every wedding needs a first dance. Some couples just wanna party, so let them

Colleen Borgert: I agree.

Like if you don’t want to do it, don’t do it. This is your special day. Who am I to say that you have to do something to make me feel special or this whole thing makes sense. Yeah. That doesn’t make any sense to me.

Christa Innis: I know, and I’ve heard of like parents like fighting back on it and being like, no, you need this.

And it’s like they don’t wanna be the center of attention. They don’t want that big moment. It like, it’s okay. Like no one should be forced to do anything at their wedding that they aren’t comfortable with, or that just doesn’t interest them.

Colleen Borgert: Right. Did you do a first dance.

Christa Innis: I did. Yes, we did

Colleen Borgert: too. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love it.

I love, I love a first dance. Yeah.

Christa Innis: But if they

Colleen Borgert: don’t want it, they don’t want it.

Christa Innis: Yeah. A hundred percent. We did a choreo, I’m gonna mess up the word choreographed. We practiced ourself.

Colleen Borgert: Oh my gosh. We are not

Christa Innis: dancers either of us. I’m not. Okay. So when are you posting that to TikTok? I might have years ago.

I’m trying to think. I might have to repost it. I’m gonna get my scroll game

Colleen Borgert: on. I know. I

Christa Innis: gotta think about what I posted it. Um, probably not in a long time ’cause people were like asking about it once I, so we watched YouTube because I was like, okay, one lesson I always learn brides, if you’re listening was take some kind of dance course.

You don’t have to like pay for it. If you are doing a first dance, you don’t have to like pay for it. There’s free ones on YouTube, right. Um, and so we started doing that, like just to learn like the steps. So we, because I’ve gone to so many weddings where you can tell they’ve literally never danced together.

Right. They stand there and they just like look awkward. They just sway and they’re

Colleen Borgert: like leaving lots of room for Jesus. You know? It’s

Christa Innis: like, come on guys. Like let’s not have that first time you guys ever like, get in a room, dance together, be like in a, in front of a hundred people. Right? Right. So like I knew I didn’t want that awkward moment.

So like, we did like our step practicing and then as we were watching, or like YouTube, it was like suggestive videos and it was like Taylor Swift, uh, oh gosh, what song is it? Oh my gosh. I sounds, is her, this is her first dance. Yeah. Why am I drawing a blank? Ah, it’s Taylor. Um, oh, now I’m gonna like, have to like find it ’cause it’s gonna really bother me.

Um, but it’ll come to you in a few minutes

Colleen Borgert: and if not divorce will come. It’ll be

Christa Innis: fine. It’ll be fine.

Colleen Borgert: We’ll just pick your voice in. It’s

Christa Innis: can, I’m gonna sing it and I can’t sing. Can I go where we can? I can’t sing. Hold on, hold on. I’m a swifty. Give it to me. Be this clo forever and ever. And, and take me. Huh?

And with a, that called you’re my, my lover. Lover. Lover. I knew we’d get there eventually. Yeah. Okay. So it was to lover.

Colleen Borgert: Love that. Yeah. And there was a

Christa Innis: really cute dance on YouTube and they showed what to do. So we did like a little spin. He like picked me up in the end. Oh. And we didn’t tell anyone we were doing it.

So it was likes you

Colleen Borgert: had like your, um, baby moment from dirty dancing where he like Yeah.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Little less graceful than that, but Yeah.

Colleen Borgert: But I do love that you told brides that they could just get on YouTube, like they don’t have to spend their money. Yeah. Just hop on YouTube. Yeah. I, I love that you remind people of that it, it doesn’t have to break the bank to be special.

Christa Innis: Yeah, exactly. Like, we literally did it in our, in our apartment living room and we just practiced like every week. I think we was like, Monday nights we’re gonna practice our dance. Yay. Okay.

No Ring, No Bring and the Reality of Guest Lists

Um, next one is no bring, no ring, no bring is totally fair. Sorry to your new hinge date of two weeks. What are your thoughts on No ring, no bring.

Colleen Borgert: Oh my thought. Okay. So my husband, my husband did not get invited to a second cousin of mine’s wedding. We were not engaged. We got engaged the next month. Okay. And during the time I was like, I can’t believe they won’t let me bring him. Like, why would they not? Mm-hmm. And now that I have children of my own and I see the cost of things and I, I see more of like that behind the curtain.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. I

Colleen Borgert: can see that and I can respect it for what it is now. Yeah. I tell you. But when I was in the moment, it felt like, oh, my partner isn’t allowed to be here, but I, I can understand it now. I can respect it now.

Christa Innis: Yeah. No, I, I totally get that. I had a similar thing, it was my second cousin’s wedding. Gosh, I don’t even know how long ago it was.

My hu Now husband and I were just dating, but we were living together for years and they like invited, it was weird. It was like they invited all of us, but like they put like, I can’t remember, there was something weird about it, but like, we were like, oh, um, I don’t, I didn’t, I didn’t know if they like, didn’t know his name or something like, weird, but like I had been with him like longer than this couple had been.

So like they’d met him many times. Like, this is your person at this point box. Yeah. This is like very clearly my person. Yeah. Like he like plus one of the other weddings in the family, like, he’d been to their house and then this second cousin, it was like a fairly like quick like, which no hate or anything.

Of course. That’s, that’s awesome. Right. But it was fairly quick. So like, they had been together like a short time and like he wasn’t invited and I was like, oh, I’m just making sure. Yeah. And again, now looking back, I’m like, we were not that. I was not like super close with them. So I was like, I get it. And I ended up just going with my mom and my sister.

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. Which, you know, tho those can be fun times too. And it was fun, you know, like unexpected fun moments without, you know, the old ball and chain that, that’s fun too. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I do think there’s a difference between, you know, you had been dating your now boyfriend for years and I was almost engaged versus like, oh, two weeks ago I met Jimmy, you know, down at the gas station.

Yeah. Can he come too? Yeah. Like that’s

Christa Innis: different to me. I know. I just read this crazy Reddit story this morning where it was like. This girl was demanding to be invited to her boyfriend of a few months wedding, like, or his friend’s wedding. And she, he was like, oh, I don’t get a plus one. And she’s like, well, I’m your girlfriend.

I should be able to go. And he’s like, well, they didn’t gimme one. I’m a groomsman. I don’t really wanna start anything. And she’s like, no, if you like really like me, you need to like bring me. And that’s where I’m like, it’s only three months. Mm-hmm. He’s probably only least friends for years. I don’t see like where, why you have to automatically give a plus one.

Right. I agree. I agree with that. It’s very, it’s very nuanced. I think in a lot of it, it’s not all black and white. It’s kind of like each individual thing is gonna have different. Rules. Right?

Colleen Borgert: Like we, we didn’t do kids at our wedding. We had a no kid wedding. Um, but our final total, even after we got all the nos for our RSVPs, we were up to like 370 people with no children.

Woo. Like, you know, and that is hard for people to grasp too, you know, like, what do you mean I can’t bring my kids?

Christa Innis: Yeah. But when

Colleen Borgert: you are from such a ginormous family like you. When you eliminate those kids, you’re able to say, okay, my second cousins can now come and, you know. Yeah. So I think we have to remember to pull back the curtain on everything and kind of say there, there’s always more back there than what we initially think.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. 375 people,

Colleen Borgert: too many.

Christa Innis: That is insane. It, it was like 360 people. Too many. Let me tell you, if you were to do it again, do you think you would do it a lot smaller?

Colleen Borgert: I would do it. I would do it so differently. I I would do it smaller. More intimate. Intimate. Is that inter intimate? Intimate. In intimate?

I kinda like intimate, but it’s intimate. Intimate, you know what I mean? I, yeah. I would make it, it would be much smaller, quaint, and just a few close people, and I would probably want to do a surprise. And just if you wanted to show up at this random thing I invited you to, you get to come to my way. Oh, I love that.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I love that. I know, I think it’s like with age, we’re kind of like, because I always tell people if I were to get married in my early twenties or something, I think I would’ve gone way too big. Invited way too many people. Mm-hmm. And you know, like I had just been outta college or something, so I’d probably had like all my college friends.

Yes. My bridesmaids. And it’s like now here I am, like 15 years or ish out of college and I’m like doing the quick math out of college and I’m like. Half those people I don’t even talk to anymore. So I’m like, I’m, I would not have wanted them at the wedding. ’cause then they’re gonna be all these pictures like, you know?

Right. And that’s exactly how it,

Colleen Borgert: you know, and, and I’m blessed and lucky and it’s easy for me to be, to say now, like, oh, I would do it differently. But that’s because I got that moment. Mm-hmm. You know, I got the big moment of, you know, all my friends, all my family. But yeah. I don’t talk to the majority of the people that were there at no fault of theirs or mine life.

Just, I’m just, yeah. You know, just happens. Mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: Did you get pushback with the no kids at your wedding?

Colleen Borgert: I did. There were a couple people that gave me pushback. Um, a couple family members and a couple friends. Uh, one of my bridesmaids had had her daughter like two weeks before the ceremony, so she brought her daughter to like, feed her parents came like, things like that didn’t bother me.

Yeah. But if I knew if I am, if I let. One family bring their two kids, then the next family had, and then before you know it, it’s 500 people. Right. And you know, so it’s not that the children, it was more so just I needed the number as low as possible to be able to invite all those people I no longer see anymore.

Christa Innis: Right. And then you wanted to be equal playing ground for everybody. Right. For everybody. Totally makes sense. Yeah. That’s one thing people don’t realize. And a lot of the stories I get, it’s like, they’re like, just make me the exception. Oh, my kids are fine. It’s like, well, you don’t understand if I let you bring your two kids and then yours.

And then I read a story the other day where an aunt was told it was just the aunt and uncle, and then she RSVP’d for. Her adult children who are four kids, their significant others and their kids. So, so she wrote in on the card 15 or something, extra people.

Colleen Borgert: I can’t

Christa Innis: like you’re not talking to one extra person.

You’re talking three extra tables. Two extra tables,

Colleen Borgert: yeah. Like in, in, in what world and in what mind does that aunt think that that is okay? Like I can’t wrap my mind around people that do things like that. But there’s people out there that do it. Mm-hmm. All the time. Yes. It’s crazy.

Christa Innis: It’s, it’s again that mind frame of me.

This, this is, this is gonna affect me if I can’t do it this way, or Oh, it’s fine. Right. I’m the exception. She loves me so much. Yeah. I’m her favorite aunt. Yeah. Yeah. And it’s so funny ’cause when I like do these skits, people are, I’m like, when I’m like acting them out, I’m like, oh gosh, this is so dramatic.

I’m making this 10 times worse than it probably is. And people will comment and they’ll be like, no, that exact thing happened to me. Or like, that is exactly what, yeah. Talk that way. Yeah. I’m just like, oh man, this is wild. Okay, speaking of before we get too over on our time, so are you still, are we still okay on time?

Yeah, I, I’m, I’m good. Okay. Let’s get into this week’s wedding story submission. So, as always, I’ve not read this yet, so feel free to stop me at any time and react or we’ll just kind of react together. Okay. Here we go. Okay. Let me see if I get my scroll. Okay, here we go. Here.

Bridesmaid Meets Her Groom’s Family

Hello Krista. I just wanna say I love your skits.

I have a story that still blows my mind years later. I’m not sure if it’s juicy enough to be considered drama, but it was wild for sure. Back in October of 2013, I started dating a man who was seven years older than me. I was 23 and he was 30. He had a younger sister who was exactly one month older than me.

She was the baby of the family and never did anything wrong in their eyes. She was also a teacher, which becomes important later because I’d always been, I’d always wanted to be an elementary school teacher, but had to pay for college on my own. Most of his family lived in New York or Florida, which also plays a role later.

Okay,

Colleen Borgert: hold on. So we’ve got a 30-year-old man. Mm-hmm. Dating a 23-year-old.

Christa Innis: 20. 23-year-old? Yes. Okay. And sister, who’s also 23 is my Okay. Teacher. Got it. Out of state relatives? Yes. Okay. By May, 2014, my then boyfriend had been in and out of the hospital several times for various issues, even having surgery to remove his appendix.

He thanked me for being by his side through everything and bought me a nice coach bag to show his appreciation. I had never owned a designer purse before. Then he asked my youngest sister for help, for help planning something my sister knew. I absolutely hated surprises and told me he wanted to propose and ask for suggestions.

So she’s just like, this is what he wants to do. Okay. I’m like, at what point? Okay, wait, so may They met in October, 2013 by May, 2014. So is it like a year and. No, not even, no, that’s just like six months. Oh, that’s like six months later.

Colleen Borgert: November, December, January, February. Yeah, that’s like five, six months. Oh, wow.

Okay. Okay. We are going, went

Christa Innis: along. Okay. Uh, then he asked. Okay. She gave him several ideas, so I wouldn’t know which one he’d pick or when it would happen. He also asked my biological dad for permission, which was odd because I’d always been closer with my mom. Okay. Mm-hmm. You would think he would know that, but maybe not in five months.

I mean only six months. Who knows? Who knows? Yeah. In 24, in June, 2014, he proposed and I said, yes, his youngest sister. Okay, so now his youngest sister planned a visit to our town in July, 2014 to see one of her guy friends. Okay. He messaged her brother. Okay. I’m like drawing my head. Yeah. Oh yeah. Duh. Oh my gosh.

Saying she wanted to see him and meet me. Okay. So they hadn’t met.

Colleen Borgert: And she’s getting ma. Okay. So she has yet to meet even his family at this point?

Christa Innis: Yeah, and they’re engaged. So she’s just kind of, okay. So she was just giving us background on the sister, but at this point they hadn’t even met. So he meets this girl and proposes in six months.

She hasn’t met the family. Maybe they don’t live, comes in town. Right. So she comes in town when she wants to meet. We planned everything around her visit, but when she arrived, she met up with her friend and blew us off.

Colleen Borgert: Oh, okay. To this.

Christa Innis: Oh, it gets better. I have never met her

Colleen Borgert: to this day. Hold on. Pause.

Pause one. They’re still together. I don’t, well, I don’t know if she

Christa Innis: just wrote to this day. I’ve never met her. Oh, oh. So I’m like really confused, like, is this, we’re talking 11 years later. And that 2014, unless I’m reading, is

Colleen Borgert: weird, flabbergasted. Like, so there’s nothing to indicate if the, if they are still together, except the phrase.

To this day, I still have not met her.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I’m gonna see. Let’s see. Okay. Let’s see what happens next. But I’m pretty sure she means like she just blew her off that time and then that was it. I don’t know. Okay. She says we set our wedding date for Saturday, October 25th, 2014. So about a year after they met, no one from his family was able to attend.

Oh.

Colleen Borgert: Red. Is that a red, is that a flag for you? I think it’s

Christa Innis: a red flag. Yeah. That’s a why. Okay. So Sister blew, blew them off, doesn’t go to meet her. And then no one from his family can just make it right. That, that seems red. That’s red flag. Red flags are everywhere for me. They’re, they’re popping. I’m sorry to this.

I mean, I don’t know what happens next. So, I’m sorry to this person that, that sent this in, but I’m just like, this is all very fast. Yeah. And weird that his family can’t show up.

Colleen Borgert: Right. And I think the, the, the age is like, the red flags are like popping and I’m like, hold on a second. So I’m excited to hear what comes next.

Yes. ’cause I’m trying to put it all together in my mind.

Christa Innis: Yeah, same. I know I’ve got like the family tree going on right here. Yeah, drawing here. Um, okay. Um, so no one from his family was able to attend, but they planned to watch the ceremony live on his sister and like, oh,

Colleen Borgert: 2014, is that like what on, like, how do you watch it live in 2014?

Yeah,

Christa Innis: because Facebook Did you like Zoom? Like I don’t even remember Facebook Live in 2014 because was I in 2014? Oh, I was having a baby. Okay, you’re like where? Yeah, I was having a baby. You were. But yeah. How do you I don’t know because I remember, okay, I was working at trade show. I honestly think it was 2014 at my fir, one of my first jobs outta college.

And they, my manager, I worked in marketing and she was like, look at this new app where you can live stream. And I remember her showing me, and that was before like Facebook Lives and stuff, because then I think it was bought by Facebook. So that may some, she had something, she had something, something maybe even like FaceTime and can you, you could FaceTime then, right?

I don’t even know. I

Colleen Borgert: feel like I still had a flip phone back then. Like with the A, B, C texting, you know, like, dun, dun dun. Oh my gosh. You had to hit it like three. I mean, you’re so young. Did you ever have a phone like that? I’m not that much younger than you, honestly. Oh, you look amazing Ellie. How you tell me you’re younger than me?

I’m turning 35 this year. Okay. Yes. You are a baby. You are a baby.

Christa Innis: Is that what, five years? That’s not seven. Seven. I, it’s funny though. I see seven. Oh, okay. Well, I don’t know. Yeah, it’s all, it’s alright. It’s all I feel like you’re at, I’m at the age where like. I, I was gonna say I have friends in their twenties, but I’m like, I don’t, I guess I have some friends in their twenties, but I have friends in their four, you know, like it’s Right.

You’re

Colleen Borgert: now to the point where you can go both sides.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I mean, I had an hour long conversation with my like 85-year-old neighbor last night and it was the best, like, I love chatting with her and so I’m like, I just, age doesn’t matter to me. Yeah. But, um, it’s funny, I like see 2014 and it also feels like yesterday and then I’m like, wait a second.

I have to remind myself, we’re like in the 20. That was a long time ago. Yeah, it was a while ago. Oh my gosh. Um, okay, she says, um, then on his sister’s birthday, September 26th, we’re giving some personal details though, so hopefully they don’t listen to this. Um, he was in the hospital again. I had no cell service and was too focused on my fiance.

The next day I reached out to her, to which, her belated happy birthday. So I’m confused. So. She says they never met. Maybe they just mean in person. So she talked to her. I think she has to meet in person. I,

Colleen Borgert: yeah, because she came in town in July, the sister blew her off.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Colleen Borgert: And then I’m thinking September he gets sick.

And then the wedding is in October.

Christa Innis: Yeah. That’s what it sounds like.

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. So, so they just haven’t met in person. They’re a, B, C, texting each other, right?

Christa Innis: Yeah. On their flip list. Texting. Yeah. So, okay. So she reached out to Wisher, um, a belated happy birthday and apologized for missing it the day before. She completely lost it on me, calling me a horrible person for ignoring her on her birthday.

Colleen Borgert: No hard pass.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like, we’re not like five or six years old where we like, you know, you are at this point, if she was praying like 24, like you can survive one

Colleen Borgert: day.

Christa Innis: Right. And your brother’s in the hospital. Mm-hmm.

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. Like, yeah. That’s, that’s another flag flags.

Christa Innis: Huge red flag. Yes. Where, where are his parents in all of this?

Like, right, like she hasn’t really mentioned them except that they’re just not coming. They’re not coming. Which is weird ’cause it says family’s in New York and Florida. They’re in, um, Kansas City. It says. Okay. Then she insulted me saying she was a teacher and I was too dumb to finish college and get my teaching license.

Oh no. Just missing a birthday by one day and being with your brother in the hospital.

Colleen Borgert: Oh no. College. If you go to college, it does not make you any smarter than anybody else. I don’t get that many Gives, gives you a set of tools to be able to do a job. It doesn’t equate to being smarter than anybody.

Right?

Christa Innis: Yeah. And don’t, I just don’t get that mentality of like mm-hmm. Oh, I went to college and you didn’t, it’s like you probably went to college ’cause you had either a privilege to go to college, right? You had funds to go to college. You had, you don’t, you don’t know the full story of, and you’ll just choose not to.

And that it’s ally. Okay. And there’s no one’s smarter if we’re going or not going. Right? Oh

Colleen Borgert: yeah. That, that would, that would be like a, like I would feel that as a knife. Mm-hmm. Like that, that comment to me that that would stay with me. I feel like I’d carry that for a while.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh, for sure. Um, it says, after that she blocked me on everything.

My fiance was upset for a moment and then defended her saying That’s just who she is, and she’ll come around soon. Soon enough. No, someone that says that they’re not coming around Uhuh. And that’s also like, that is your

Colleen Borgert: fiance.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Colleen Borgert: This is the person that you’re getting ready to say I do too. And you’re just, he’s just gonna be okay with people being mean to you.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And see, this is where, again, I don’t know the rest of the story, so I’m sorry if it works out a different way, but like, I hope, I don’t know, maybe it doesn’t work out, but like someone that like jumped the gun really quickly to someone that was much younger than him and was like, let’s move fast. Six months from now we’re getting engaged.

My family’s not gonna be there. I don’t know. I’m getting some bad vibes and I don’t, yes. So

Colleen Borgert: I live by the rule that whoever you date, if you can subtract that amount of years and you wind up under the age of 18, it, it shouldn’t happen

Christa Innis: yet. You know? So, so if you subtract her age by their distance Yes.

Yeah. Of seven years.

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. Then I’m like, Hmm, that’s, that’s icky to me a little bit. Mm-hmm. You know, not to say that it, it, it won’t work out, and I hope that it did, and I hope that they’re happy. But that age gap, the, the life experiences that people have are so vastly different. Yeah. You know, a 30-year-old to a 37-year-old, they’ve had a lot of similar life experiences.

You know, you minus that number and it’s like, okay, they’ve been a, a grown adult for a long time, so it’s not necessarily the number that I get. Tripped up on. Yeah, it is. How much life experience is attached

Christa Innis: to those numbers? No, that’s a really, that’s a really good point. ’cause people are always like, well, my parents are this or that.

And it’s like, it’s a good point of like, well, when did they meet? How did they meet? What, what were they at in their life? Right. Um, ’cause yeah, I’m thinking like 23. Like, I was like freshly. I mean, I graduated at 23, so I was like, freshly outta college 30. Like, you’ve been in the, you know, job field for a while.

Colleen Borgert: Yes. And you know what you want in life, you know, and you know this man, he may be like, yeah, that, that’s the woman that I want. I’m going after her. You know, I’m, I’m gonna, I’m gonna get her. But was she ready for that? Could she see the red flag of hey, your fiance. He is not supporting you right now. And I think that that comes with life experience, you know, just growing into your own as a woman and, and the value that you bring to the table, you know?

Yeah. So, I don’t

Christa Innis: know. It’s a little, Hmm. Yeah, it’s a little, um, interesting. Okay. She says she never watched our wedding. Okay. So they got married and to this day, I haven’t spoken to her since September 27th, 2014. So we’re talking about 11 years. So they

Colleen Borgert: got married still. I’m so happy that they are happy.

I wanna put that out into the universe, but I’m still so confused.

Christa Innis: Well, there is still more. Oh, okay. Let’s go something. We can see what, what’s so, but she, so she said she hasn’t spoken to her. I even visited their mother’s house Oh, oh. In New York in February of 2015 where she lived. I still never saw or heard from her.

Interesting. She lived there and then didn’t show up.

Colleen Borgert: You refused to come by

Christa Innis: in November. Here we go. In November, 2014, I asked for a divorce and thanked his dad and stepmom for trying to help us through our marriage troubles. I I, can I give a I knew it. I was like, can I applaud it? Like, yes girl. I just,

Colleen Borgert: you know, and maybe it was the sister, maybe she was looking at it all being like, I can’t support this.

Like, I can’t, but No, no. Nope. I can’t validate that sister’s comment in my mind. The comment I

Christa Innis: tried. Yeah, I know. We were trying to be like, I know. And it’s like, where does that come from though? Either like where I’ve, I have a lot of questions still too. Um, it says his stepmom threatened to have his dad, my now ex father-in-law.

End my life if I ever contacted her son again. What? Because she asked for a divorce that just a whole family sounds very toxic. And red flag. She

Colleen Borgert: dodged a bullet. Like literally it sounds like she dodged a bullet. Yeah. Because the mom is like, I’m gonna enter your life. So she

Christa Innis: also very threatening, like Right.

Trolling maybe?

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. No, that, that whole 30 to 23, my flag went up immediately. I knew it. Mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: You, I, I saw your face too. And you’re like, wait, so she’s 23? He’s 30 there. Oh, six months later they went. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Um, so they were married for, wait, they weren’t even married a month because it says their wedding date was set for October 25th.

She filed for divorce in November, so it wasn’t even a full month.

Colleen Borgert: Oh my like, okay. Does she include like, where am I now? Like, do we get to heal? Hear like the healing part of all of this because, um,

Christa Innis: no, but there’s a little bit more. Okay. Because like a little more of a paragraph. Let’s see. Um, it says we got back together for a little while, but never spoke to his dad, stepmom or sister again.

I later found out his older siblings were annoyed at how much their younger sibling, younger sister got away with. I mean, at 24 she threw a fit because her brother was in the hospital and I wished her happy birthday a day late. It wasn’t like I’d forgotten entirely. Side note, I graduated a few years later after divorcing her abusive brother.

Okay, now we’re getting a little more of the context. Yes. And I’m working on my master’s degree. I also ended up teaching for a few years.

Colleen Borgert: Yay. Yes, queen. I love that. That was

Christa Innis: a happy ending because you know what? You saw your worth and you saw like, I went out of this situation and I’m glad. It was not even a month that you were just like, you know what?

I’m out. And I hope this is a lesson too for people listening that like, ’cause I’ve had, I’ve had friends before that are like, well, everything’s already paid for. We have to go through the wedding. It’s like, it’s never too late. Like just if you are in a bad relationship, it’s okay. Like it’s Right. Or Yeah.

Colleen Borgert: And, and that goes like both ways too. Like as a boy mom, having only boys, like I want them to know that as well. Like they bring worth to the table too. And they need to be love and respected. And if they need me to fake a heart attack as I’m lighting that wedding candle so that they can run out of the back door, I, ugh, I will do it.

I will do it for them. It’s never too late for happiness.

Christa Innis: Yes. No, I totally agree. I feel like we, obviously, we don’t know the full situation here, but the fact that she threw in that he was abusive, abusive. Which I kind of got the vibe he was controlling or something because of, you know, the moving so quickly and, um, him being a lot older.

But, um, yeah, that, I mean, that’s, that’s a scary situation. So always knowing in your gut or like listening to your gut about it. I hope she had someone on her side that was like, Hey, this doesn’t seem right. Right. ’cause it sounds like they went to his, his dad and stepmom for like, helping through marital issues.

So I don’t know if she had anyone on her side that was like, Hey, this guy is not right for you. Like this Also having Yeah. Also having that like third party, like, I know like, as like, you know, you, it’s nice that his parents were willing to help, but I feel like they should probably have had like a th like a therapist or something come in and Right.

Really sit them down Yeah. And be like,

Colleen Borgert: this is what we’re looking at here.

Christa Innis: Yeah. But I’m glad she got out of that because that could be very bad.

Colleen Borgert: Oh my gosh, yes. Like I, and again, it’s that life experience. Like you just don’t know. At such a young age, sometimes you do, but most part, like, you just, you don’t know what you don’t know.

Yeah. And it’s hard to see those things until that frontal lobe is developed, which is like 25, you know? So wild.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. It’s wild how like, at least like my grandparents’ age, it’s like they were like married, having kids like 19, 20, and that was like what they were expected to do. And they went to college to get their MRS and they, you know, that was their job.

Mm-hmm. And it’s just Wow. ’cause they were still children in my eyes. I’m like, you’re at 19, 20, 21. Like, you’re still a kid, right.

Colleen Borgert: You’re just a baby. Like you are still a, I’m still folding clothes for my college kid. I’m like, there’s no way you can get married right now. Like. I am folding your t-shirts for you.

Like the, it’s, you’re not ready. You’re not ready.

Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s, it’s wild. Um, well that was a wild story. Thank you to this person for sending that in because I think, um, it was a different kind of story that we’ve got, you know, and I think it’s good to kind of get all the angles of these kind of stories, and I’m really proud of you.

So, yeah.

Maid of Honor Regrets & MIL Drama

Colleen Borgert: Good job writer in person. What do you call the, what do you call, like submitter?

Christa Innis: Um, yeah, story submitter or like, I usually like online, I’ll say like op, like original or original poster, but I guess they’re not really posting it. They’re just sending it to me, so, yeah. Writer in.

Colleen Borgert: Good job. Writer in.

We’re proud of you. Yeah,

Christa Innis: we got, we’ve got great grammar over here. Oh my gosh. The number. It’s really in intimate, intimate over here. Intimate. Which honestly intimate. I think you could do something with that. Like I see, I, I worked in marketing the past like 13 years, so I always think of things you could do a mint at wedding.

It’s called an intimate, intimate listening. Oh, it’s so

Colleen Borgert: intimate here. I love it. If you’re listening, do it and then tag me in it so I can see all of your love.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh, I love it. Okay. I always end these on, um, a couple of confessions that people send in. So let’s read these and then we’ll get on with our days.

Okay. Okay. Um, let’s see.

Okay. This says, I kind of regret who I picked to be my maid of honor. I would’ve still had her as a bridesmaid, but yeah.

Colleen Borgert: Oh, I, I think that’s normal. You know, we kind of touched on that earlier. Just your life just changes and unfolds in different ways that you just don’t know how you’re going to need different people, and it’s okay that she was that person in your life, in that moment and that it might be someone different right now.

Like, it’s okay that both of those happened, and both of those can be true.

Christa Innis: Yeah, and I’m, I’m kind of reading it as she hasn’t gotten married yet, and she like asked them, that’s how I’m reading, but maybe I’m reading it wrong. Like, she has, she asked them to be in the wedding and so like the wedding’s coming up, but they’re like, and she wants to take it back and like, maybe it’s like the maid of honor’s not really stepping up, but I think that’s too, it’s like.

Expectations and communication too. Or maybe that maid of honor just doesn’t really know what to do or, you know. Right. Or you’re just not as close with that person. It’s hard.

Colleen Borgert: It, yeah. It’s hard and you don’t wanna hurt anybody’s feelings.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, this says I plan to cut my mother-in-law out of my life, regardless of what my fiance wants to do.

Colleen Borgert: Oh, Ooh. That’s gonna, that’s, that’s a, a therapy for sure. I feel like. Right. Like,

Christa Innis: yeah. I mean, I feel like if, if the, if it’s valid where like the mother-in-law’s done something like terrible turn, just treats her poorly, then I feel like the fiance should be backing her up and like Right. Being that buffer.

I feel like it should never be between the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law because this is about the son or something. Right. Right. There’s

Colleen Borgert: something

Christa Innis: going on

Colleen Borgert: and it shouldn’t just be about her.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And so it’s gonna be almost impossible. To just cut out the mother-in-law if the fiance is still talking to her.

Right. So then I need like, figured out of like, who is he gonna fully support? What’s the issue here? Right. Unless you guys just don’t get along, then I don’t know how that would work. But

Colleen Borgert: then you have to figure out like you’re, you’re gonna form a family together. Mm-hmm. Like, you’ve gotta figure it out.

Christa Innis: Gotta figure it out. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Uh, okay. This last one says, my grandma’s being, my, my grandma being my biggest supporter for eloping helped me elope and deal with all of the backlash.

Colleen Borgert: I love a good grandma. Like, is there anything better than a good grandma? There’s, there’s not, the, the, there hands down top five things a good grandma.

Like, you can’t, you can’t beat it. Yeah. And one that helps you elope and then says, not only am I gonna help you do it and I’ll help you plan it, but a grandma that says, you go and then I’ll tell everyone I did it and I’ll take the heat. Like, go live your life. That’s an amazing,

Christa Innis: you need that. I remember, it’s kind of funny, like, um, so I grew up, like I grew up Ca Catholic and I, um, you know, so like with Catholic parents, like, it’s like you don’t move in before you get married, like, right.

Mm-hmm. Like you child, my grandma’s Catholic, my parents, you know, like that. So this is nothing against that. It was just like how like I was raised, you know? And um, I remember though being like, I’m so close with my grandma that when my husband and I now husband, we were gonna move in together. I told her first and she was like, that’s great honey.

I’m so proud of you and my parents were fine with it. I’m the youngest. So they were like, by that point, they were like

Colleen Borgert: right by that point they’re just like, get out of here. Yeah.

Christa Innis: But I was like, it was just funny. Like, I told my friends, I was like, yeah, I told my, my, now she’s 90. But at the time, you know, she was.

Gosh, how long have I been with my husband? It was, she was like probably 80, but I like told her first and she was like, that’s great. I’m so proud, so excited.

Colleen Borgert: See top five. You’ve got one. She’s great. Yeah, you’ve got one. I’ve got one too. My grandma, um, for her 80th birthday five years ago, she’s still here.

Um, she jumped out of an airplane. She went skydiving on her way and

Christa Innis: we all went and

Colleen Borgert: yeah, she even, you know, got a second set of dentures so that if they fell out, she would have her. She was ready. She visited all of her doctors to get like the, okay, but there’s nothing better than a good grandma.

Christa Innis: That is amazing.

Oh my gosh, I love that. Well, thank you so much for coming on. Thank you.

Colleen Borgert: This was so much fun. I truly enjoyed it.

Christa Innis: Good. Oh, I’m so glad. Like it was so much fun hanging out with you. And can you tell everyone again where they can follow you, find your content, and then anything fun you’re kind of working on?

Colleen Borgert: Yeah, so again, my name is Colleen Boer. You can find me on Instagram at at Miss Colleen b or at Leany Borg on TikTok. And if you are looking for educational news that is happening in this political climate, I am the teacher you want to follow. ’cause I’m gonna give it to you like it is. I love it. Awesome.

Well thank you so much. This was awesome. Thank you. Have a wonderful night.

Christa Innis: You too.

by Christa Innis

Blog Transcript:

Late Glam, Lost Calm & Refund Rage

Proposals, Meltdowns & Unsolicited Advice: Christa’s Wedding 911 Segment

Red Flags, Green Flags & Wedding Madness

Secrets, Shade & the Family in Black

Confessions, Chaos & Champagne Thieves: The Wildest Wedding Secrets Yet

Blog Transcript:

From Skits to Self-Awareness and Protecting Your Peace Online

Finding Confidence in Community and Self-Expression

Knowing Your Role, Setting Boundaries, and Showing Up Right on the Big Day

Red Flags, Green Flags, and Wedding Chaos

The Seamstress Who Stole the Spotlight

Blog Transcript:

Wedding Dilemmas 911: Child-Free Chaos & Family Feuds

Red Flag Weddings: Exes, Lap-Sitting MOHs & Bad-Vibe Cakes

Postpartum Road Trip for a Wedding?!

When Your Mother-in-Law Becomes the Real Wedding Villain

Wedding Confessions: Garter Cringe, Off-White Drama & Best Man Scandal

Blog Transcript:

Celebrity Splits & Secret Friendships

Gardener or the Rose: Redefining Love After Divorce

The Bachelorette Twist We Didn’t See Coming

The Bachelorette Confessions We Can’t Believe Happened

Take a Shot, Take a Seat… and Then Everything Went Off the Rails

The Wedding Confession Session

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Wedding 911: Honeymoon Bills & Bridesmaid Dress Drama

Red Flag or Green Flag? The Wedding Edition

The Mother-in-Law Who Made the Wedding All About Herself

Three Weddings, One Messy Family Tree

Mother-in-Law on Vacation With the Ex?

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Breaking Traditions: A Bride’s Dream Wedding with Zero Rules

Engagement Rings, Proposals & The Myth of the “Perfect Surprise”

Wedding Dilemmas: Cheesy DJs, Awkward Speeches & Destination Dreams

The Sister Who Wore White (Twice!) and Hijacked the Wedding

When Your Husband’s Friend Tries to Steal the Spotlight

Mother-in-Laws, Bad Photos & Drunk Maids of Honor

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The Reality TV Chaos Behind the Scenes

Sisterly Showdown at the Bouquet Toss: Wedding Drama You Won’t Believe!

From TikTok Stunts to Bridal Party Boundaries: Wedding Drama Gets Real

Wedding Drama Rapid Fire: From Jealous Bridesmaids to Reality TV Proposals!

A Tale of Jealousy, Selfishness, and Boundaries!

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Sneak Peeks, Reviews, and Wild Wedding Drama

Book Two Sneak Peek: Romance, Secrets, and Wedding Fallout

Wedding Drama Showdowns: This or That?

The Ultimate Bridezilla: Rules, Group Chats, and Friendship Fallout

Family Feud at the Altar: When Weddings Expose True Colors

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Teacher Turned Advocate

Teacher Balancing Truth & Boundaries

A Diagnosis That Changed Everything

Weddings Would-You-Rather

Bridesmaid Dress Drama

Wedding Party Love Story

The Great Wedding Dinner Debate

First Dance or Skip It?

No Ring, No Bring and the Reality of Guest Lists

Bridesmaid Meets Her Groom’s Family

Maid of Honor Regrets & MIL Drama

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