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These are the types of drama so layered, even a mind reader wouldn’t see them coming.

What started as a simple suggestion to shorten the mother-son dance spiraled into accusations of gold digging, manipulation, and a full-blown family boycott threat. When your fiancé works for the family business and his mom insists on private meetings to question the marriage, it’s no longer just wedding planning, it’s a power struggle.

This week, renowned mind reader and entertainer Joe Diamond joins Christa to unpack toxic dynamics, hierarchy games, and emotional manipulation. Drawing from more than two decades of performing at weddings and high-stakes events, Joe shares sharp insight on family power plays, setting boundaries, and why sometimes the boldest move might be a hard reset,  or even eloping.

Listen in for bold advice, boundary talk, and the reminder that keeping the peace should never cost you your own.

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Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

• The Intuition Test That Shocked Christa – Joe reads Christa’s childhood crush initials over Zoom and leaves her speechless.
• The Mechanical Bull Disaster – Why outdoor events and bad planning can ruin even the best entertainment.
• The Wedding That Was Canceled Three Weeks Before – When the groom ran off with the bride’s best friend. Yes, really.
• Mother-Son Dance Meltdown – A simple suggestion to shorten dances triggers the first red flag.
• “She’s a Gold Digger” – When family wealth and insecurity collide before the wedding.
• The 13-Year-Old Ultimatum – One child invite turns into a family boycott threat.
• Hard Reset Advice – Joe suggests two bold moves: work for the family business… or elope.
• Hierarchy Games & Peacekeeping – Christa breaks down why keeping the peace can cost you everything.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

• “It’s not even about the 13-year-old. It’s about control.” -Christa Innis
• “If they can threaten not to come, you can threaten to elope.” -Christa Innis
• “I would not want someone who hates me planning something meant to celebrate me.” -Christa Innis
• “Keeping the peace shouldn’t cost you your own.” -Christa Innis
• “The second someone calls you a gold digger, credibility gone.” –Christa Innis
• “The bride and groom said no. That should be the end of it.” –Christa Innis
• “Boundaries aren’t disrespectful, they’re protective.” -Christa Innis
• “You don’t play their game. You surpass it.” -Christa Innis
• “The way relationships begin is typically the way they continue.” –Joe Diamond
• “You can’t just expect it’s going to be better one day.” –Joe Diamond
• “You’re trying to play chess and she’s the pigeon. You either learn the culture or reset the board.” -Joe Diamond
• “Don’t wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty — and the pig likes it.” -Joe Diamond
• “Mind reading is an art, not a science.” -Joe Diamond
• “The real star of the show is the audience.” -Joe Diamond
• “It’s not about being right. It’s about how you made people feel.” –Joe Diamond

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

About Joe

Joe Diamond is known as The Midwest Mystic, America’s greatest mind reader and a world record-holding entertainer who transforms ordinary gatherings into unforgettable shared experiences. He creates modern mysteries for real audiences. And yes, he really does pull thoughts out of people’s minds. 

Blending clean comedy, intuitive psychology, and interactive mind reading, Joe has spent over 20 years amazing audiences from intimate living rooms to 2,000-seat theaters. His philosophy is simple: the audience is the real star of the show.

No smoke machines. No special effects. Just connection, laughter, and the kind of mystery that leaves people asking, “How did he know?”

Follow Joe

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Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

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• Get Christa’s Book, Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris & Sloan Story

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Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.

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Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi Joe. Thanks for being here.

Joe Diamond: Thank you so much, Christa. Really appreciate it.

Christa Innis: I’m really excited ’cause as we were just saying before recording, this is just like a whole new angle that I’m really excited to explore on the podcast. Welcome. Um, so before we get into it, can you just tell everyone a little bit about yourself and what you do?

Joe Diamond: Yes. my name is Joe Diamond. I am in my late thirties. I like long walks on the beach. that’s a different podcast. Sorry. Yeah. Uh, but, uh, no, I, perform a weekly show at the Maxwell Mansion in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin, called Psychic Parlor. it’s an evening of mind reading interaction. It’s in the ballroom, so it seats only 40 people.

And it’s kind of a throwback to the turn of the century parlor entertainment where people would gather in homes and they would hear everything from like, lectures, from anthropologists to demonstrations of spiritualists to, magicians, conjuring, and, telepathy. And my show is sort of a throwback to the more telepathy side.

 I’ve been named and the.com was available at the Midwest Mystic. So if anyone wants to look it up. So basically what that means is instead of pulling like rabbits out of hats, I’m pulling like, thoughts out of people’s minds. Ooh. So during the show, I’ll have people think of like names of friends and friends, drinks.

They would order at the bar, stuff I couldn’t know be before, beforehand on social media. And we’re coming up on two years of weekly shows with, purely word of mouth. No, no advertising. I don’t have big billboards coming into town. It’s kind of this underground thing. Again, we can only, fit 40 people in their max, but every show’s been sold out every week for, at least the last year of shows.

I’m sure there’s two or three where we had a, few people who like. Didn’t show up or something like that. Right. I could look at the actual numbers, it’s been a really fun project. I’ve been doing shows in the Midwest and beyond my whole life. I do, of course, house parties, corporate events, a handful of weddings.

and so yeah, so as a professional entertainer, I’ve encountered, a lot of, interesting do’s and don’ts. Uh, I think when last I did the, uh, count, I was up to just shy of 950, corporate events The last 20 years. And, with house parties and stuff, that’s easily, to double that.

Christa Innis: You’ve seen it all.

Joe Diamond: Not at all. There are some people who’ve seen more than me for sure. both because they charge more and less than me, but that’s a whole other discussion.

The Art of Reading Minds – and Rooms

Christa Innis: Yeah. So how did you get into mind reading and did it kind of start, like, I know you’ve Kylie made different, like.

Turns, I’m sure, like in your career, but how did you kind of end up to what you’re doing now? Like what was kinda like the journey? Like?

Joe Diamond: when I was a kid, my great-grandmother taught me how to read playing cards, just like tarot cards. And my grandfather taught me my first card trick.

So right at the beginning there was this interesting, dynamic and by the time I would go to the library and get books on everything from magic, both magic tricks and ritualistic magic, even though my parents were very religious and were like, put those back. So I learned to read them at the library and take notes in my notebook and then, you know, go home.

Later, but I also read books on UFOs, crop circles, paranormal phenomena, all that stuff. And so when I was in my mid teens, there was a casting call for Six Flags Great America, for anyone, not listening or listening, who’s not in the Midwest, that’s a theme park. just off of, the highway between Chicago and Milwaukee.

 and they were looking for street performers. And I went in, doing some, a little bit of mind reading some card tricks, and I got the gig. But by the end of that summer I was just reading poems and doing mind reading. ’cause that’s what people were really responding to. Oh,

Christa Innis: wow.

Joe Diamond: And so, yeah, after two summers of that, you know, seven hours a day out on the streets, Entertain people while they’re waiting for their friends to get off of rides or, that kind of stuff. As, Malcolm Gladwell says, I got my 10,000 hours in and I started working, you know, house parties, corporate events. I noticed the mind reading stuff was getting more of a reaction.

I also did some sideshow stunts at the time, which, I don’t do as much anymore, but like I learned how to stick my hand in an animal trap and hammer a nail into my nose. That was taught to me by a sword swallower. And what was fun about those is, you know, and you could tell people exactly how they worked.

’cause like with traditional magic, you don’t tell them anything, right. With mind reading, people can kind of piece together later on, maybe some like intuitive leaps or body language, that kind of thing, but you can’t explain what you’re doing as you’re doing it. Mm-hmm. But with like the sideshow stuff, I could explain exactly what was going on and people would still go.

Is that a real animal trap? Is that, you that kind of stuff. So I was always playing with what was real and what was not. And, I started doing ticketed shows in various historical, venues, everywhere from the, Maxwell Mansion, lake Geneva. But I’ve also done shows at the Woodstock Opera House.

I was born in Woodstock, Illinois. If anyone’s seen the movie Groundhog Day, that’s the building Bill Murray jumped out of. and what’s funny is like I’m kind of more known for these more intimate shows, but like, I’ve done shows for a thousand people at a corporate event, 2000 people at a high school.

Mm-hmm. and even when I did like. The Opera House, it only seats about 411 people. But, which is small compared to like amphitheaters and other massive theaters in the Midwest. But people were still like, oh, how are you gonna make that? Your shows are so intimate. How are you gonna work with people?

How are you gonna read? Mines in the Balcony. And this was right after COVID, so I was like, I’ve been reading Mines over Zoom. So they’re just right up there. even in the bigger environment, that space, I’ve worked really hard on making the bigger events feel more interactive and intimate, and making the more intimate events feel bigger and more, immersive than they may or may not appear to be.

Christa Innis: Wow. That’s awesome. I know, I feel like, ’cause I’ve been to like different kinds of shows and I always, I love the more intimate one because I feel like you can like. See them closer. You can get, see like real reactions. Sometimes the like really big shows. You’re like, what’s like, maybe it’s like the skeptic part of me, but even though I tend to be more spiritual, but sometimes I’m like, was this planned ahead of time?

But the more intimate ones, you’re like, no, there’s no way. this is like

Joe Diamond: also because in the more intimate ones, there’s more of a chance for you to be involved as well.

Christa Innis: Yes.

Joe Diamond: In fact, at the max, I love that we have we have introvert seating cause people’s number one fear is public speaking.

Christa Innis: Getting called

Joe Diamond: well, well, well it’s public speaking whether or not they’re up for a show or need to speak for work. And on top of that I’m going to, you know. Tell them what they’re thinking. even if this was all a joke, even if I was just like, oh, you’re thinking of this really embarrassing thing that happened.

 is that right? No. Well, of course you’d say no, it’s embarrassing. I, you know, right now if that there with their coworkers, now they’re that person. and I do not do that. Of course. I’m always very conscious of making sure everyone in my audience goes back a hero. that said, I completely understand that some people just do not wanna participate and I want everyone to feel comfortable in the show.

So we have introvert tickets where you can, you know, they’re on the ticketing site. at the psychicparlor.com, and you can go down, you know, there’s standard tickets. There’s also VIP up close couch seating as well. So the people do wanna be extra close, but then there’s introvert seating, which is, I will not call on you during the show.

There are some things that involve everyone all at once, that people can kind of, interact with from their seats.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Joe Diamond: of course, I will not bring them up and of course, like say hi to them before the show. And I even say to them, the joke I always do is don’t worry, this is the most I’ll talk to you all night.

Christa Innis: you’re safe over here. yeah.

Joe Diamond: so yeah, so it’s, something I am trying to be very conscious of, but it is something that’s so intrinsic to my work because a big part of it, ironically, is the skepticism, is the, oh, well, can he do it with me? Will he pick someone from our group? And when you come with a group of.

Five to 10 people at a show that only seats 40. You’re 25% of the audience, so someone in your group is gonna be involved. You’re gonna have a conversation going home later, So, yeah. Uh, intimate is also very relative as well. also in Lake Geneva, very good friend of mine, I’ve done shows at, Tristan Christ’s theater.

Mm-hmm. They do a more traditional magic show. He cuts his assistant in half, they fly around the stage like superheroes and make a helicopter appear. and it’s amazing. , I’ve been backstage and I don’t know where they keep the helicopter. It’s a little, little disconcerting, but in all seriousness, their back row, they’re only 175 seats, which again, compared to the 40, is like, oh, wow.

So much bigger. But their back row is closer than Penn and Teller’s front row in Las Vegas when I filmed for their TV show. that is still a more intimate space compared to, to that. and I have different things like there’s one. Grand finale I do for my bigger shows that involves 26 people and the, just in the grand finale.

Wow. The whole show, uh, throughout, I do several things. there will be about 50 people that are directly involved with me during the show, total. And, there again, several things where everyone is involved too.

Christa Innis: Wow. Yeah. I love like, being able to be a part of it or involved in some way. ’cause I feel like, especially like when I was a kid, I’d go to a magic show or some kind of like, mind reading show.

Like, being pulled up on stage just makes you be like, I wasn’t a part of it. Or like, I didn’t see anything that happened, but like, I saw it in front of my eyes happen. Like I always remember going to some kind of, I think it was when my sister was in college, they did like some kind of magic show there.

And I remember I got pulled up on stage

Joe Diamond: that tour colleges and stuff and

Christa Innis: yeah. Yeah. And I feel like I did something where they were like, close your eyes and like hold this light bulb. It was something. And soon as I opened my eyes, the light bulb turned on and I was like, I don’t know

Joe Diamond: how

Christa Innis: I did it

Joe Diamond: could’ve been, uh, one of my very close friends, Chris Carter, they were the long, light bulbs.

Uh,

Christa Innis: yes, it was the long light bulb.

Joe Diamond: That’s his, that’s his signature. Yeah. I don’t know how he does that either.

Those aren’t his light bulbs. He has like the booker or whoever hired him for like, the company, like go to the store and buy them and bring them to the show and like,

Christa Innis: wow.

Joe Diamond: Yeah. It’s, it’s

Christa Innis: wild.

Joe Diamond: It’s ridiculous. Yeah, he’s from the Midwest as well and he’s taught me a lot. And, he’s amazing. And again, he works colleges. I always joke with him. Yeah. The biggest thing you’ve taught me is how much I do not wanna work colleges or, or beyond. I mean, because he’s been on the road like 300 days a year.

 I’m very spoiled. I get to, you know, again, I do my fair share of traveling for this line of work. I’ve flown up town for different things. And being in between Chicago and Milwaukee is, a blessing, but like, yeah, compared to people like him who are. Just on the road every single day, it’s, oh, I actually get to sleep.

I am in my own bed and eat dinner with my wife most nights a week. You know?

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Joe Diamond: even with something like the psych parlor, you know, when I was first starting, I wouldn’t be home till like midnight, one, two in the morning. I’m home by, 10:00 PM most nights there.

Christa Innis: Right.

Joe Diamond: so again, for having, a line of work that, normally is so predicated on all those things, the fact that I don’t have to kind of carved out my own little niche.

Without having to do all that. I’ve been very, very grateful for,

Christa Innis: yeah,

Joe Diamond: yeah, ’cause again, when you do, if someone, specializes in, like, for example, weddings, well, there’s only a hundred Friday, Saturdays a year, so you’re only gonna book so many, unless you can do several in a day.

And for someone like me where it’s like, they either want me there the whole time mingling or at a specific time, and we all know they always run on time, right?

Christa Innis: Oh, yes.

Joe Diamond: and when they do come up great,because of things like the Maxwell and these other ticketed events, I’ve done I don’t have to be as hungry for like, again, being on the road all the time.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And so you’ve done, I mean, so many different shows, like different sizes, different kinds of people, I’m sure. is there a time in your mind, like one of the wildest or in most interesting reactions that you have from one of your shows, or a guest that was there, just an interesting, like, story that kind sticks out to you?

Joe Diamond: there’s a lot. for sure. I’ve had people scream, I’ve been hit, I’ve been slapped.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh.

Joe Diamond: Yeah. to be fair, it’s happened two or three times. It’s been in like the arm like two or three times. But once it was across the face and the woman was just like, ah, and it was just like this, and just her hand hit just right next because

she

Christa Innis: couldn’t believe what you did.

Yeah.

Joe Diamond: And it, but her hand just hit just right to like echo through this, this space we were in. it was, at a, Dell web type community for anyone who knows what they’re, so it just echoed and it was before I had a beard, so like, it was extra like, you know, skin on skin whack and it sounded way worse than it was.

always use a handheld mic, so I went off mic and she was, and this is part of the reason, ’cause she was like, oh my God, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. Please don’t hate me. And I said, I’m absolutely fine. I’m gonna make a joke and we’re gonna move on. We’ll be fine. And then I got on the mic and was like, no, no, no, it’s my fault.

I should have seen that coming. And no. And I thanked her, sent her back to her seat. I said, whoever’s sitting next to her, you know, look out if she reacts more during the show, might wanna scoop over a little, you know, so we had fun with it. Of course.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Joe Diamond: Um, do

Christa Innis: you what it was?

Joe Diamond: Oh yeah. It was, so there’s several things that I do pretty much in every show. I have different ways of. Framing it or scaling it. so one of the things I’ll do is I’ll have people think of like names of friends or family members. Mm-hmm. Now, sometimes I’ll adjust that depending on just for lack of a better term, the season.

Like I will have people think of, like I did a time travel show once a themed show. And so I said, think of someone from your past that you no longer talk to. No one. You had an epic falling out with just someone you’ve lost track with over the years and never really connected with on Facebook. it’s been a while since you’ve seen this person.

and I have those different things to fit kind of the theme of the show. but also ‘ cause again, the other thing I’ve gotta address in my show is, oh, has he looked us all up on social media? Is he doing? And, I genuinely don’t. But I still have to go out of my way to show, not just tell, but like show I’m not doing that by having people picked at random or picking up on things that aren’t normally thought of.

Christa Innis: So yeah, having someone think of like, again, a friend, a family member, someone they used, to know those kinds of things. I’ll have people think of like old pin codes at Halloween. I’ll have them think of old costumes, after

Joe Diamond: Christmas time. I’ll have them think of old gif. But, it’s all the same framing for what I do.

And in many ways, the jokeI say is, at the beginning of my show, when I have two people on stage and I tell each of them just what color they’re thinking of. Mm-hmm. The joke I say is, that’s it. That’s all I do. Don’t worry. We’ll keep doing it for the next hour. but the idea is that we start with colors, then go into shapes, then numbers, and then I have someone, think of cards they’re holding in like.

Game. We play psychic poker. Then I have someone think of a drink they’d order at the bar. I talk about more empathy versus telepathy. So then I work with different people’s emotions. Then we think of like specific thoughts like friends, family members, then some stuff where someone thinks of someone in the room and I have to find them without asking them any questions.

 that’s all I’ll say about the show without spoiling anything else. because another part of it too is people just love the surprise too. and even when it’s the same thing for me because someone’s always thinking something different and they’re always gonna react differently and people wanna bring their friends to see how they’ll react.

Christa Innis: Mm mm-hmm. So

Joe Diamond: that kind of has the surprise baked into it as well, because Yeah. I might get every once in a while I’m way, way off. it’s not the, you. Line I say in the show is, mind reading is an art, not a science. Mm-hmm. So I’m not always gonna be a hundred percent accurate, but I’m hopefully more close than not.

And it’s interesting when people go, wow, I’ve never seen you get that wrong before. Like, who have seen you a couple times? That’s still kind of interesting and surprising for them, even though it’s the least impressive outcome. And in many ways, but I also make a point of like, Hey, this is about, having fun and connection and the other.

I call it the dirty secret of my show, which is, yes, my name is on the advertising, it says I’m the star of the show. But that’s not really true. The real star of the show is the audience. The show is about the audience. Mm-hmm. when you look at mystical characters and film and literature, like when someone, if you were watching a Twilight Zone episode that had a mind reader in it, it wouldn’t start with the mind reader, it would start with people going to the mind reader and having that discussion of, I think this is real.

I think it’s a load of bunk. What do you think? Right. And the weird stuff happens in the Mind Reader Show, and now we follow these two people leaving. So I’m, kind of trying to see the show through that lens of a real life Twilight zone experience.

Christa Innis:

Joe Diamond: and, giving them as much the starring role of it and, the interaction of it.

Um, way more than, just being about. I’m always being right and when it is about them and when it is that if I’m not a hundred percent accurate, I’ve also structured everything and I’ve got lines and jokes where even if I’m completely wrong and nothing works, I can move on to the next thing.

Like, it’s funny, I’ve gotten things wrong in shows and still have had people come up going, so what do you do? Are you ever wrong? Because they had just gotten that was the one thing out of whole hour. Right. They just caught,

Christa Innis: yeah,

Joe Diamond: it does. what I think matters is that Maya Angelou quote of like, people may forget what you said or did, but they won’t forget how you made them feel.

So

Christa Innis: Right.

shooting for that as much as possible because then if I’m a little off, if I get a name or mispronounce it or misspell it mm-hmm. Or something, it’s not as much of a glaring, error. right.

Joe Diamond: And like with juggling either. Catch the clubs or you don’t,

With magic, the helicopter appears or it doesn’t, the girl gets put back together where she doesn’t. So, and when those go wrong, there’s not as much, there’s more on the line with those going wrong than with me, ironically. Right.

Christa Innis: I’m sure it’s all about how you like, respond to it and what happens next of like, entertaining, making a joke about it.

 if you just like stood there and were like, oh my God, I messed that up. You know, like people would feel Oh yeah. Like, remember it more.

Joe Diamond: well, the other thing too is I also, I poke fun at myself during the show as well, because most people, so there’s, two types of people at my show.

People who are at the very least, Even if they’re not full on believers, they’re interested in this kind of stuff. Mm-hmm. And then it’s their skeptical partner, they’ve dragged along.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I was gonna ask about that.

Joe Diamond: And it’s funny to the point where I can pretty much say to a couple when I say, thank you for coming tonight.

Thank you for being dragged along and like, I’ve had a few people go, oh my God, he’s psychic. How did you know that? I’m like, it’s because you’re here everywhere. That’s not the psychic part. Yeah. Uh, she hasn’t started yet. but, the line I say in the show now is, my wife is the biggest skeptic I’ve ever met, so it’s okay if you’re skeptical.

She said to my face, it’s not so much your psychic, you’re just a straight white guy with empathy to be fair in this era, that’s a miracle.

Christa Innis: That’s, and when

Joe Diamond: I’m not taking it myself that seriously, they’re not out to, challenge or prove or disprove. It’s, we’re there to have a good time.

if someone is taking it a little too seriously, I’ve even said to someone like, Hey, um. I don’t know if you know this, but this isn’t church. There was a ticket price. You don’t have to believe a single word I say. We can just have fun.

Christa Innis: Um, just enjoy yourself. Yeah,

Joe Diamond: Exactly.

Exactly.

Christa Innis: So I mean, that’s like when you see similar things post online, everyone’s like, oh, they, searched it ahead of time. They Google, you know, there’s all those like skeptics out there and it’s like, do people have fun? Do people enjoy it? Like,

Joe Diamond: Well, and, that’s

Christa Innis: Skeptics

Joe Diamond: Like, for a lot of that stuff.

And that’s why even with the stuff I’ve done online, I do try to make it so that all those questions, I mean, there are come up one way or another in my art form. it’s just going to, that’s kind of the point. but, I really try to again, make it, about the people, when I show the, you know, clips of the show.

I don’t even show that much of what I’m doing. I’ll just show people’s reactions, people laughing or gasping or hugging me or, hitting me sometimes. like showing that and showing that happens regularly, becomes a different story than is it real or not? How’s he finding it out? It’s more of like, what’s going on in this, interaction that’s causing these people to react like that.

 it’s the same reason why, the fact that we want to be in, a show where the audience does implement what happens. I think it’s part of the reason why comedians. Doing crowd work clips online have kind of blown up in the last few years because mm-hmm. People even when there’s always someone who’s like, oh, this was obviously staged.

Look, he’s not even really on the stage. And are there a few people who like, use laugh tracks and stuff like that? Yeah, of course. however, for the most part, we want to feel like we saw we were a part of something that, has never happened before and will never happen again.

I don’t worry too much about people thinking that with the stuff online anymore because like,I, I perform regularly. you can come see for yourself, And if you don’t want to, you know, then that’s okay too, right? then, you know,

The customer’s always right, but not everyone’s a customer.

Christa Innis: Um,

Joe Diamond: and like, Some people are my audience, some people aren’t, you know? Mm-hmm. Um, uh, art. Art, uh. It’s like a magnet. I think Johnny, or Jimmy Carr said, it’s like it attracts some people and repels others, and both are totally fine.

So,

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. No, absolutely. So I know you wanna do, an audience mind reading, like

Joe Diamond: Yeah, yeah.

Christa Innis: Intuition test

Joe Diamond: do and with everyone as well. So listening. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Awesome. do you wanna do that or do you wanna, I know you say you also have a lot of wild stories, so what.

The TJ Moment

Joe Diamond: I’ll tell you what, both Okay. Let’s do a quick intuition test. And, after that we can do some stories and then I have something planned for at the end of this too, so,

Christa Innis: okay.

Joe Diamond: we can kind of give everyone a little bit of a taste and, also give you a chance to see how, This mind reading stuff really works and also gives you and everyone listening a chance to know what it feels like to get this wrong and to get it right.

when I do this in live shows, it usually gives me a chance to see who else in the room is the most intuitive. Okay? So, here’s how this is gonna work. Christa, I’m going to think about, memory from my past. Okay? I’m going to do my best to project it to you and the listeners. even though this is recorded, I’ve done this with recordings and it does still work pretty significantly, I found for people who are truly listening, if the listeners are able to close their eyes, please do.

Of course, if you’re running or driving, of course don’t, don’t worry about it. But if you can, it, does usually help. So we’ll do this with you and I, and then later on, we can see how it does with the listeners. And exhale, or you’ll suffocate. Very good. All right, now, Christa, you’re gonna look at me for this.

Okay? everyone else, again listening can close their eyes, but since we’re talking in real time, you can take another deep breath, and as you exhale, just get in your mind a number from one to 10. Lock your mind. Don’t change it. Remember that number, okay? Don’t try to think about these things too much.

Just go with whoever comes to you naturally. Intuition is knowing without knowing. Okay? we’re gonna do it again. I’ll take another deep breath. As you exhale, get in your mind a direction on a compass. Again, lock it in your mind. Don’t change it. Remember that direction. Okay? All right. This last one’s gonna be the most difficult this time.

 I want you to think of two simple geometric shapes. One inside the other, like a square, inside of a rectangle, for example. don’t pick either of those. I just said them. take a deep breath. Exhale. Remember those two shapes.

Christa Innis: Okay.

Joe Diamond: All right. I’m curious, first of all to see how you did, and then, if anyone listening wants to, should they like, message the podcast?

Should they message me on Instagram? Yeah,

Christa Innis: I mean, they could comment. I mean, I post the full thing on YouTube, so they could always comment on YouTube. That’s why

Joe Diamond: YouTube, if people can go to the YouTube page and actually comment if this did work with them, I’m really curious. We’ll see how this worked with you as well.

so I was thinking of a pretty common memory. Again, this is likely your first time doing this, so I wanted to keep it simple. I was thinking about my first day of school and I couldn’t find geometry class, so I asked someone where it was, and they said it was on the north side of the building. When I got to the classroom, I noticed, there were seven students there already, and when I looked at the chalkboard, the teacher had already drawn, a circle and a triangle.

 so right off the bat, did you get either of those?

Christa Innis: Circle, triangle and North

Joe Diamond: at that. And North. Okay. here’s the interesting thing. I don’t know what this is. If people don’t get, the number of students very often, I found sometimes they go for three. Is that what you did?

Christa Innis: Yes.

Joe Diamond: Okay.

There we go. Perfect. Okay. So now of course this is more psychological than it is psychic, but it does a couple things. Number one, it shows you how this intuition stuff really works. ’cause there is a level of nine times outta 10 every single day, we all make some kind of decision. And then later on go, ah, I should go off my initial gut instinct.

Christa Innis: Mm. Mm-hmm.

Joe Diamond: So much of my work is just skipping that part that, just skipping that. So here’s how we’ll do, this next part here. I’ve got a notepad here. I’m gonna do, I’m gonna draw something here while I draw this. It’s, here comes, the drama is a little too long to write, so I’m just gonna write down drama.

 so Christa be honest. when you were younger, have like a tree or sometimes it’s like a picnic table and like, a park or forest preserve that has a bunch of like initials and hearts written and carved on ’em. Okay. Uh, but you know what I’m talking about, right?

Christa Innis: I know kind of what you’re talking about.

Like

Joe Diamond: Yeah. Where people would put like, you know, the heart and then obviously 14 year olds with their first crushes, they put their initial Right, right. And or, And then go back a few years, it’s crossed out, you know.

Christa Innis: Yeah, yeah.

Joe Diamond: You know, that, kind of thing. it’s okay if you never actually did that, but you can visualize that.

Yes.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah.

Joe Diamond: Okay. I want you to imagine, we kind of go back in time in your mind a little bit and you can see one of those trees and you can go up and you can carve like a little heart in it.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Joe Diamond: And put your initials in. And, what I’d like you to do next is to think of just one of the people you can remember having a crush on.

When you were younger. Now, a couple quick things about this. just think of their initials. Okay. It can be a celebrity crush too, and it doesn’t have to be like the very, very first one, you told them or anything like that. It could have been a secret crush. It could be, and I won’t cry for this.

Okay. Since this is podcast and going back, that’s why we’re just sticking with initials for this, situation. But at this point right now, again, we’ve talked on social media, but there’s no way I could know whose initials you decided on just now. Yes. Mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: Right, right.

Joe Diamond: Got them in mind.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Joe Diamond: Okay.

This is gonna sound a little strange, but I’m gonna ask you to look right at your camera, not at the screen at me, but look right at your camera.

Christa Innis: Okay. Okay. Look

Joe Diamond: at both those initials and don’t react. And here I go. A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-M-N-O-P-Q-R-S-T-V-W-X-Y-Z. Okay. I’m also gonna do this backwards.

Z-Y-X-W-V-T-S-R-Q-P-O-N-M-L-K-J-I-H-G-F-E-D-C-B-A. Okay.I think you might have stopped thinking of the initials ’cause you were like, oh my gosh, he actually can do this backwards. I’m gonna do this once more. Think of both initials. 1 more time. Z-Y-X-W-V-T-S-R-Q-P-O-N-M-L-K-J-I-H-G-F-E-D-C-B-A.. Okay. I believe, yeah, I’m gonna say it both, both initials are different.

Yes. It’s not the same initial twice. Mm-hmm. Both are different. you know what, I’m gonna go for it too. I’m gonna say they’re both consonants. Yes. Neither is a vowel.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah.

Joe Diamond: Okay. I think I got it. Then. I’m gonna write this down just to extra commit so people don’t just think you’re just saying yes to whatever I say.

Okay. I’ve written that down. I’ll leave the pad up here in frame so you can keep an eye on it. what’s the initials of the person you’re thinking of? You can tell us.

Christa Innis: TJ,

Joe Diamond: one more time. You kind of lagged out.

Christa Innis: TJ

Joe Diamond: TJ, did they actually go by TJ by any chance? Do you remember?

Christa Innis: I mean,

Joe Diamond: Not that you recall. They went by like their actual first name is why I’m saying they go by like the initials. Like my dad sometimes calls me JD sometimes.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Joe Diamond: Okay.

Christa Innis: Um, if I’m thinking my, in my initial person, their initials were tj.

Joe Diamond: Okay. That’s fine. I just wanted to make sure that, they didn’t try reaching out to you after this, because that is, exactly what I got, tj.

Christa Innis: Wow. That is wild.

Joe Diamond: People can watch back on YouTube and see that I did in fact draw a heart with, Christa’s initials and then tj, underneath, I’m going to, I’ll take a picture of this too and send it to you so we can write on Instagram and all that later. So that’s, uh, yeah, that’s a little bit of a, and that’s a perfect example too of, you receiving thoughts from me, but also you sending thoughts to me as well.

 there’s a lot of that kind of stuff going on in the show too, where either I am picking up on thoughts from other people, but there are also points where they’re picking up on thoughts from me and I’m trying to find, and there are different things in the shows that I do that involve different people’s intuitions and such.

and again, part of also your reaction was crisis there too, by, thank you.

Christa Innis: I’m just like shocked. I was like, there’s no way

Joe Diamond: we’re over Zoom. How is he gonna do it? Over Zoom.

Christa Innis: I was only thinking like third grade, my first crush. And I’m like, I haven’t thought of this person. How long ago was that?

30, Almost 30 years. Probably

Joe Diamond: 25 years When you, you were two not in second grade when you were two, right? Right, exactly.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah, absolutely.

Joe Diamond: Absolutely, absolutely. so yeah, so that’s a little, we’ll do more at the end of course, but that’s a little bit of a sneak peek I’m also curious if anyone else, picked up on this.

’cause I know some people are just listening. Some people could see you, wondering if anyone else, because normally what I’m just doing is I’m just trying to feel which letter feels right, basically. and then trying to get ’em in the right order. but yeah, but I’m really glad every once in a while, just for example, this is another thing too.

Sometimes I’ve gotten the initials reversed, but like people will still kind of give that to me, even though it’s technically wrong. It’s like, okay, You were right. You know, it’s there.

and the course of a whole show again, if something like that happens, it’s not the end of the world.

I’d rather you know that than get both, or just even one of the two initials incorrect, but even when I do pick up on it, like one of the other day I said to a woman, I’m getting a motherly vibe, but this isn’t your mother. And she was like, and she, her eyes went wide and she’s like, she just had her first kid, like, wow.

Wasn’t even on social media yet or anything. So even when I am wrong, there’s still a reason why I am picking up on what I’m picking up on. It is, again, much more about the intuition, the empathy, the connecting with people. Mind reader just sounds more, show busy and interesting than feeling feeler.

right, right, right.

I’m feeling other people’s feelings. so yeah, so that’s a little bit of an insight into how that works. And in the show too, I talk about like, yep, I still have stupid stuff happened to me. And I tell some stories about that too and everything. part of the fun of it is again, you never know how people are going to react or what they’re gonna think of.

 so yeah.

Christa Innis: Wow. I’m blown away. That’s wild. That’s,

Joe Diamond: Thank you.

From Mechanical Bulls to Runaway Grooms

Christa Innis: Can’t even comprehend that. okay. So, let’s jump into, you said you have a lot of, like, wild stories of things that you’ve either like seen at shows or, witnessed. what’s one of the stories that you would wanna share?

Joe Diamond: Uh, do you want one? Well, I’m gonna ask you, do you want like just. a wild story or two full stop, or do you want particularly like wedding related? Um, it doesn’t

Christa Innis: Need to be wedding related.

Joe Diamond: Okay. before I say this, there’s literally one piece of advice I try to give people for events, and it’s only half the time you’ll see what I mean in a moment.

if there’s only one after, you know, doing all these different events, I’ve been at people’s house parties, they’re 50th anniversaries, 50th birthdays, weddings, vow renewals, all of them. Bachelor parties, bachelorette parties, divorce parties. There’s one thing I’ve learned.

It’s easier to move outside than it is to move inside. Don’t count on good weather. Plan ins, like when people have like the food under a tent outside, I’m just like, you are inviting disaster. Yes. Have it in the, totally have it in the kitchen. before my show, I was just setting up in the living room ‘ cause the skies were looking a little not so great and they opened up and the wind blew in and the uncle tried to run in, in the rain with a big plaque full of ribs and tripped and all over the floor.

And if it was just inside. And so like that’s, luckily it wasn’t during my show, but still that has, are you okay? All this other stuff. just if there was, had just started inside, like, I get it as Midwesterners, we have seasonal blindness. We think just ’cause it’s summer, it’s gonna be great.

Christa Innis: and then when it’s the winter, we’re somehow surprised. like, what? I can’t believe, you know. Every year there’s someone on the news complaining that they have to shovel snow. I’m like, yeah, same time. Every year. Happens every year.

Joe Diamond: Yeah. Probably the first week of January. What do you know?

 and it sounds so simple and kind of like Yeah. Do ridiculous, but those are often the ones that go overlooked. Yeah. that said, no matter how much you plan, just never know. very early in my career, I was setting up for a show and they had a mechanical bull going and it didn’t look like I was getting, we were getting closer and closer to my, contracted showtime and it didn’t look like they were turning that off anytime soon.

And I went to the woman hosting the event and I was like, Hey, are we gonna turn the mechanical bull off during the show? And she sincerely looked at me and went, why? cause we’ll be doing the show. She’s like, well, people can do that too. I’m like, so during the show, all right, think of the name of this person.

Think of how many letters just off. Alright, think of this. It’s like, oh my God. So now I probably would’ve, and I’m sure we’ve all had this, where like, , we have to be a little firmer with the customers. Like they think they want it a certain way, but like, yeah, another one is always, Hey, let’s have me on after dinner, before awards.

Like, no, no, we want you as the grand finale. We want you as the grand finale. Last two times they did that after people had their awards and they had been fed literally up to half the room left as they were, you booked it as they were introducing me.

Christa Innis: Oh no.

Joe Diamond: I’m just like, you need

Christa Innis: entertainment early.

Joe Diamond: Yeah. So I’m like, okay, everyone in the back, let’s move forward. Let’s, let’s make this feel less like a bus stop. That’s a friend of mine, a show busing. It’s like, let’s make this feel more like a show and less like a bus stop. Come on. Like, let’s get in close and enter and connect and stuff. ’cause yeah, when you’ve got those, when you’ve got tables and gaps of people, it’s just harder for everyone to kind of, again, connect basically.

Yeah. The bulk of this is connection.

Christa Innis: I’ve been pretty lucky with weddings in particular. overall like the ones I’ve actually performed at, The wedding I didn’t perform at, because three weeks beforehand, they called saying it was canceled.

Joe Diamond: The groom had run off with the bride’s best friend Jim. Oh, so yeah, the

Christa Innis: Bride’s best friend. Jeremy.

Joe Diamond: Jeremy, yes. So there was a lot to unpack from,

Christa Innis: There’s a lot to unpack there. Yeah. Yes.

Joe Diamond: So,

Christa Innis: Wow. You know,

Joe Diamond: Humans are com

Christa Innis: That’s a call that

Joe Diamond: Yeah. Humans are complicated. They had another, event for his work, so I they were able to, that’s the thing too, like normally when people book, it’s, you know, for a specific date and time,

I don’t wanna be on the hook with someone forever, but if they call and it’s something like ridiculous like that. Because that’s the other thing people don’t realize too, is like they’re not paying for the show that day. They’re paying for the six months of you telling no. Telling everyone else No. For that date and time.

Christa Innis: Yes.

Joe Diamond: Mm-hmm. And also, in my opinion, builds better trust because they know I’m not gonna. Abandon them for something, for more money, but no, you’re both

Christa Innis: holding the date.

Joe Diamond: Yes, we’re both holding the dates.

it’s very clear. and of course, if I am sick for any reason or, and not unable to do it, which I’ve only had to do this once in my career, knock on wood, give them a choice of a backup entertainer or just a refund. but they had another company event coming up, like just in the next month, and they had booked me for other stuff before, and it was their daughter, so it was like, yeah, she’ll need to be cheered up.

So, oh

Christa Innis: my. Yeah.

Joe Diamond: So that was probably like, I mean, at least it didn’t happen at the wedding, you know, okay. At least that. again, what I’ve done actually more than even weddings have been like. Bridal parties and rehearsal dinners like the night before when it is just the smaller family and it is, for lack of a better term, more intimate.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Joe Diamond: Because it’s also two sides of the family that maybe don’t know each other super well.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Joe Diamond: So rather than trying to make something work during the bride and groom’s big day, which is, I’ve done, you know, I’ve done that show and it’s worked. but I think even better for like,

Yes, it’s about them, but it’s about all of us. you all have a big day tomorrow. This is the time to kind of cut loose and have fun and get to know one another. and again, because there’s the blend of, half the people know only half the people, they know the other people aren’t in on it and they’re act and they have something to talk about.

They have a shared experience now too. Mm-hmm. I have found those, those have been, I’ve been very lucky that those have been great. None of those have been the, problem gigs. probably the absolute, worst gig I ever did was, again, fairly early in my career. I was on after a band at like this mini festival.

And the guy started introducing me as the band was striking their stuff, and no one was paying attention, right? Like, I hear what he was saying. So I’m like, okay, well I’m gonna have to get him back up here to reintroduce me. And I just, put my stuff up. And one of the guys from the band goes, oh dude, did he introduce you early?

Don’t worry, I’ll stall. Ladies and gentlemen, he’s going to invade your minds. Mr. What’s your name again, bro? Joe Diamond. Joe Diamond. Like, I’m like, oh no. Now people are watching. Yeah. So now I have the opposite problem, right? so at start, they’re still striking every other word you can’t hear because they’re unplugging all their instruments and amps all the ka k.

They finally finish. I’m into like, I only have to do like a 20 minute set too. that’s the worst part. It felt like it, I’ve done hour shows that haven’t felt this long, and I’m like, at the halfway mark, I’m like, okay, I’ve got them. And literally beep, beep. The next band is backing their truck in and it’s just a curtain behind.

Oh my

Christa Innis: God.

Joe Diamond: and I just stopped and just started laughing. I was just like, uh. Some things just aren’t meant to be. I did have a few people who came up to me afterwards and said, Hey, good job. That must have been really tough. now, I feel like again, just the level of planning of like, okay, I have written out my introduction.

Do not introduce me till I’m ready. There’s this, there’s that. I have actually some pre-show music and stuff that like gets people’s attention to for like louder events. and it’s only a mistake if you don’t learn from it. And I learn as much as possible. So I’ve avoided, disasters much bigger than that.

 there’s some stories that my friends have told that. Beat me every single day, but they’re not my stories to share.

Christa Innis: No, I get that. Yeah. No, I feel like those, early days or I feel like everything is just like, you learn from I know early days of like being a part of weddings and doing different things, I’m like, take note for next time.

 you just like, and people will people, so you learned from different people

Joe Diamond: too. People will, will people will people. Oh my God. ended up being a, great show, because I’ve done a few Bachelor and bachelorette parties because sometimes they don’t want to get in trouble with a, we’ll just say adult entertainer of some kind.

Christa Innis: yes.

Joe Diamond: Negotiated against that or anything like that. I have friends in that industry, all that stuff. But some people just don’t wanna, it’s an extra layer of drama they don’t wanna deal with. And that is totally fine. That said, no one gave the memo to grandma. So I showed up and she just looked me up and down and kind of scrunched her face and just went, you the stripper.

Like she was so disappointed that like, you know this, five foot seven guy, I am not that tall. and. People were like, grandma, he’s the mind reader. And I was like, oh, no, no, no. I will strip. It’s just gonna cost everyone $20 each to leave. and she laughed.

’cause no one, they just said they just didn’t think to say to grandma that this is to tell

Christa Innis: her

Joe Diamond: Yeah. To tell her that there was entertainment that wasn’t, that but still, she was still not as disappointed as the bachelor parties I’ve done.

Oh.

Christa Innis: But they’re like, wait, what’s going on here?

Joe Diamond: well, not only that, they’ve worked of course, but there’s still just that level of. With everyone too. It doesn’t really really matter about gender. Just of like skepticism and like, wait, are we really gonna do this?

And again, as I’ve gotten now, I can send to my, clients, you know, a clip of me performing on the biggest stage in Las Vegas and reading Brook Brooke’s poem, and they can just send that to their, friends and they go, oh yeah, this will probably be good. So now I don’t have to win them over quite as much upfront because of all that word has kind of spread.

Christa Innis: Right.

Joe Diamond: but yeah, for the most part, like, you gotta just, roll with it. when grandma asks if you’re the stripper, and she’s clearly disappointed.

Christa Innis: Oh, grandma’s, they’ll just, they just say what’s on their mind. You just gotta let them, roll with it.

are you ready to react to this week? Oh yes. I’m So, here we go. Okay. So as always, this was submitted by one of the followers here, so I’ve not read it yet. Feel free to stop me and react and we’ll just,

Joe Diamond: okay.

Christa Innis: See what happens. And then at the very end, for everyone listening, you’re gonna do another little mind trick. Yes.

Joe Diamond: something at the end.

It Started With a Dance

Christa Innis: So, all right. Cool. Here we go. Says, Hey, my fiance’s parents started out really nice. We met in May and were together for about four months before getting engaged, which I know is fast throughout our relationship.

We saw his parents regularly and I truly hope to build a good relationship with them. As we started planning the wedding, the first issue came up over the mother-son dance. The DJ had suggested shortening all the dances, and when that was mentioned, his mom was outraged. I’m just gonna pause there. I feel like that’s a very normal thing now, to be like, we don’t need to dance four minutes with every single person.

I know. I shortened my

Joe Diamond: mind that. And, just real quick, the way, I know you’re reading this for the first time, but the way you said it that when you said the mother’s Sundance, I was like, is this like a thing where she dances at sundown? Like, I was like, oh yeah, mother. Sance, I thought was Mother

Christa Innis: and

Joe Diamond: Sundance.

Christa Innis: She, the person wrote it as like, mother, son. So I was like, mother Sundance. Oh, yeah,

Joe Diamond: yeah, yeah. So there was a moment because I’ve been to, I actually have, hosted a couple of, for lack of a better term, pagan, ceremonies, non-traditional ceremonies, practicing witches, practicing mystics, and such.

 so yeah, so like. I’ve heard the hea tape blessing instead of, you know, the prayer and all that. so I was immediately going like, okay, but what’s a Sundance like,

Christa Innis: is there a ance and a moon dance? Yeah. What are we doing?

Joe Diamond: Yeah, it’s a sun, it’s sundown. Right? We’re not getting married at like five in the morning.

Right. Right.

Christa Innis: What’s happening?

Joe Diamond: Uh, okay, so, the mother and Sund dance. Okay. So yes.

Christa Innis: Didn’t

Joe Diamond: wanna show that so far. people, the DJ has suggested, hey, the songs you’ve picked, they’re all like four minutes each. That’s like, that’s a long time with transitions in between. We’re talking,that’s easily gonna be a 20 minute h where we all just watch two people dance if we’re gonna do the full songs.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And you gotta think for like, people watching, that’s boring. No’s

Joe Diamond: not, yeah, we don’t have to do ones yet. you get those songs in half, that’s down to like eight to 10 minutes tops. Yeah. If there’s technical issues or whatever. And yeah, that I think is the sweet spot.

yeah, I’m pretty sure we shortened all hours to like a minute and a half because like then people get to see it. That’s enough dancing. Also, people after

their first time

Christa Innis: dancing after

Joe Diamond: I promise we’ll still do the interactive thing at the end. However, after this, I’ll tell you the story of our wedding because it’s like Geneva related and there’s a fun kind of story with it as well.

Oh, cool.

Christa Innis: Okay.

Joe Diamond: Kind of tease that as well. now just to be clear, does she only want the mother son dance not shortened or does she want all of them not shortened? Or is

Christa Innis: that I’m, I’m guessing it’s more about her dance with her son.

Joe Diamond: Okay.

Christa Innis: Like 20 seconds. She’s like taking offense to it.

Joe Diamond: That’s not the craziest thing, you know, okay.

 and it depends on what the song is too. Like there’s some songs you just don’t cut off in the

middle.

Christa Innis: Don’t cut.

Joe Diamond: especially if it’s the mom. Okay. Continue. All right.

Christa Innis: All right. Let’s see. She said, we ended up sitting down to talk about it because she was upset for me even bringing it up, even though I just repeated what the DJ had recommended and didn’t think it would be such a big deal after that, things calmed down a bit.

But that dynamic definitely felt different. I tried to move on and understand her perspective, especially since she openly favors my fiance and likely feels like she’s losing him. Recently though. Everything

Joe Diamond: I, pause again. Pause again. okay, so it’s the mother, son dance, so this is a likely.

We can assume bride, not another husband, a bride that

Christa Innis: wrote it in. Yeah.

Joe Diamond: Okay. and it’s, the son. Has, she said if the son is like only child, oldest, youngest,

Christa Innis: no, she hasn’t said yet, but I feel like when she says openly favors, I either wondering if she, he has another sibling and like, he’s like the golden

Joe Diamond: child.

I mean, if you are, marrying into the family Yeah. Your, the, your partner is gonna be more favored by the people who gave birth to and raised them and know like of course that, so, okay.

Christa Innis: Yeah. That’s why I feel like she means you might

Joe Diamond: be reading a little too much into it here, but We’ll, we’ll see where it goes.

Okay.

Christa Innis: Yeah. She had a complete meltdown and called him blaming me for almost everything under the sun. She accused me of initially excluding her family from our wedding planning and the day, the wedding day itself. There’s a lot more to that, but that’s the summary. So my fiance and I sat down with both of his parents and he explained that none of that was my doing, and that if anyone felt excluded, it was because of decisions he had made.

That conversation lasted for four hours. Oh my gosh. So I feel like this all stems from the fact that she feels like she’s losing his her son and that she’s gonna try to make it more about her day and want it her way.

Joe Diamond: Yeah. And, and, uh hmm. Yeah, that’s, uh, uh, yeah, I, because, yeah. ’cause I think. So, so, so first off, um, kudos to husband, partner, fiance for, um, being like, for, for taking charge for, yeah.

Christa Innis: Like, this is me.

Joe Diamond: Hey, hey, hey, mom. Listen, like, like take the brunt of it. Sit down and talk for the four hours. Like, like, so far, so far. Green flags for the fiance. Yes. Do get through whatever hell you have to, to, to marry them. Yes. Uh, yes. So far, uh, so far, so far he’s worth it. Uh, so, uh, uh, and it sounds like the issue is gonna be mostly between him and the mom now, but we’ll see. Um,

Over a 13-year-old

Christa Innis: yeah. Um, then ano another issue came up about us not inviting children to the wedding. She was furious.

Joe Diamond: Pause, right. Pause right there. Nope, nope, nope, nope. Mom lost all credibility. I 1000% agree. Children should not, if you are going to have an open bar, um. I will even argue, not the party, not even the ceremony

Christa Innis: at you saying at any wedding.

Joe Diamond: At, at, at I, I’m saying across 99% of all across the board.

Christa Innis: Wow. Wow. That is a hot take.

Joe Diamond: So, uh, uh, I, I, I do think so. So here, here’s a couple issues with kids. It’s actually not the kids, it’s the parents.

Christa Innis: The parents.

Joe Diamond: It’s the parents. And, um, if there’s, it, it, it just becomes about the kid now.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Joe Diamond: Like, I understand.

Just, and yes, we might not all have a teen or preteen flower girl or ring bearer. They may only be three or four. And yeah, it’s cute for like three, the three second clip of them like walking down the aisle. But like, you know, then you know you’re, you’re paying for, you’re paying for the, the, the cake and all that.

’cause here’s the other thing too, I, I will argue nine times outta 10, if there are kids at a wedding slash wedding adjacent type event, any entertainer, they book dj, comedian, moderator. I’m saying this ’cause this has happened. Yeah. All the parents think, oh, that’s the babysitter. That’s now in a separate room.

And this is problematic for, you know, the entertainer. ’cause it’s like, wait, I’m alone in a room with everyone’s kids. That’s not how everyone else is drinking. That’s not good. No, no, no. Oh, that’s not a good position. I, I wanna be in. Yeah. Uh, so it’s one thing if you wanna hire, hire childcare. Mm-hmm. Uh, which I think if there are any levels of kids there, whoever wants them, has to give into to any kind of childcare, nannying, whatever day, you know, daycare, because this exists, this happens.

They have ’em for company events for, you know, single parents. So like the parents can still, you know, attend the event. And it’s at conference centers, it’s at wedding venues. They, they, they have, they have caterers. They have someone, you know, who’s professional, vetted to, to watch kids too. Mm-hmm. So if you’re gonna go that far.

Especially if they’re gonna make the argument of, oh, it’s only two or three. It’s only two or three. Mm-hmm. Like, then okay, then you, you, you contribute for that. Like if, if they, if it’s that important to you. I don’t think any kid has outweighed the adorableness factor for

how much of a pain it’s been for the rest of the day. Like there, there’s a saying in show business don’t work with kids or animals like, and in TV there’s a reason every baby and every TV show is twins.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Joe Diamond: Like, because when one’s cranky, hopefully the other isn’t like, that’s why there was Mary Kate and Olson.

That’s why there’s, that’s why every baby and every show and movie is almost always a set of twins, right. For that exact reason. Because getting that on camera and all this stuff is next to impossible.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Joe Diamond: So,

Christa Innis: well, yeah, and, and my thing is too, it’s like why when people get like offended over like their kids not being invited, like I’ve said this before, like I have a toddler, like she’s gonna be three this year.

And I’m like, I would not be offended ’cause I get it and I, and sometimes like my husband and I just wanna night out without her and she probably wouldn’t have that much fun at a wedding. She maybe have fun for a little bit dancing, but

Joe Diamond: Yeah,

Christa Innis: if she’s not invited, I’m not gonna be like, oh my gosh, they hate children.

I’m like, I would never think that. I’d be like, I get it, I get it. You have a kids touching everything and

Joe Diamond: I think if there’s any kind of, any kind of bar, no kids, vice versa. Ca cash or otherwise, like, it’s like that, that all, that just does not mix. It just does not mix. I’ve almost never seen it pay off if the kids are a little older.

If there’s like a very hard and fast, like 13 and over because of certain cousins ages and stuff like that. I understand.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Joe Diamond: Everything’s a case by case basis of course.

Christa Innis: Oh, for sure. I think, you know, if the kids like in your family are gonna be okay or not, and if the bride and groomer are saying no, they’re probably like, eh, I think the ones we know are not gonna be,

Joe Diamond: here’s the next part, here’s the next part.

This is the mom, right?

Christa Innis: Yeah. The

Joe Diamond: mom definitely doesn’t have little kids. If, if her like, I mean, it could happen maybe their early twenties and they have a 18 year gap between him and his younger 8-year-old sister or something. Maybe, but especially for the mom who likely doesn’t have her own kids. Like, or I don’t know, you know, day before the wedding shower, do like a, a, a fun, you know, wedding tea thing with all the kids or something.

Have them dress up and do that at noon, you know, uh, the Saturday before or something. But immediately, as soon as someone is like, Nope. I’m like, mm mm And again, it, it, it, it does drastically depend. I’ve done a lot of, I’ve done a lot of house parties where there are like a few younger kids or a good number of younger kids, um, and nor nine times outta 10 when it’s that kind of dynamic.

They often want to be kind of little grownups. They want to be, you know, yeah. They wanna sit, sit tight for the show, you know, they’ll kind of, which is also why go on a little later so that way, you know, they’ve run out of steam and everything. Yeah. And I have all things that they can for sure help with.

I always carry one thing with me specifically for like, kids that I can do.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Joe Diamond: So, but I also let like the. Host and everyone know that. ’cause that also means I am not the babysitter. I have one thing specifically for them. The show isn’t offensive. The show is clean and everything, but it’s not, it’s geared for intelligent grownups, you know?

Christa Innis: Right. Um,

Joe Diamond: and, uh, just like a bar, you know?

Christa Innis: Yes.

Joe Diamond: There’s nothing offensive for the most part, for 99% of the population of just like the presence of a bar. Uh, but like, not, not for, okay, so mom is,

Christa Innis: yeah,

Joe Diamond: mom is upset. So, okay. So there’s no kids and she doesn’t, she likely doesn’t even have kids of her own. Okay.

Christa Innis: Right. So she says she was furious that we wouldn’t invite his second cousin’s daughter. So we’re talking distant, like, I don’t even know if I invited any of my second cousins.

Joe Diamond: Second cousins former roommate.

Christa Innis: Yeah. That’s ridiculous. ’cause like

Joe Diamond: that make us absolutely nothing.

Christa Innis: Right. I’m like, I invited all my niece and nephews, so we had five and they were super well behaved, but I also knew like their parents were more hands-on.

They

Joe Diamond: And how old were they? How old were they?

Christa Innis: The youngest was three, but he got picked up at our reception. So he only stayed through like dinner and then, yeah, and then it was like, then others were younger, but I’m trying to think, the oldest was 10. 10, eight.

Joe Diamond: Yeah. When they’re in that range. Yeah. But like three,

Christa Innis: they weren’t like infants.

Yeah.

Joe Diamond: Yeah. When they’re, yeah. So,

Christa Innis: but yeah, it’s, it’s definitely case by case. Again, you know, your own family and like, ’cause I’ve heard stories where people are like, my niece is so misbehaved, her parents don’t watch her. She will throw things, she’ll push things on the floor and it’s like, that’s where it’s like bride and groom or the couple getting married.

It’s their choice. Don’t beg to bring your child, just let them make their own decision.

Joe Diamond: Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Okay. Yeah. But she says, she originally told us that the cousin wouldn’t come unless their child could attend. Okay. Lynn, she can’t come.

Joe Diamond: Yeah. Okay.

Christa Innis: And that and that his cousin was the only extended family member planning to come.

When we asked her, when we asked for the cousin’s phone number so we could talk to them directly, she suddenly admitted she already told them yes on our behalf. And there was actually no.

Joe Diamond: Oh, so mom’s busted. Now. Mom, oh my god. Mom. Mom is straight busted.

Christa Innis: Oh no.

Joe Diamond: Oh no.

Christa Innis: Oh. And then she lied and said there was actually no issue with them intending without their children.

She still claimed I was purposely excluding her family and made several hurtful assumptions about me. So it sounds like the mom is just like mad. The fact that like maybe they don’t have a lot of close family, so she’s like, we have to have the second cousin there because they’re gonna have more people so that she has to come with her child.

And it’s like,

Joe Diamond: yeah,

Christa Innis: not your choice.

Joe Diamond: That’s the other thing. Like if they have like a, and that’s the other thing too. Everything’s case by case. If you have a ton of seven to 12 year olds, like they can all kind of. Watch each other, you know, like, you know, like, yeah, you get the, you, you, you, you slip the 15-year-old an extra, you know, 50 bucks or a hundred dollars bill a hey ke, keep an extra eye on them, you know, uh, until six o’clock when their parents are gonna take them home or something.

Like, yeah, like, again, everything, like, like there’s, there’s, you know, realize that there’s a whole other level of plan. You can’t just say, yeah, we’re, yeah, kids are allowed. There has to be a whole other level of planning. There has to be a hard out time. There’s just more questions and more things to prepare and plan on a, that have nothing to do with you on a day that’s supposed to all about you.

So, I, I would, I, I would, especially if it’s just one, then especially no. Like, no, no, no, no.

Christa Innis: Yeah. When my fiance tried to explain, we were just trying to sort everything out. She threatened not to come to the wedding and said the rest of his family wouldn’t come either if the 13-year-old wasn’t invited. Oh, so she’s 13.

Oh, it’s a 13-year-old. 13-year-old. And I’m like at that age they probably, I mean it depends, but they probably don’t even wanna come. Depends on how the close they are, but

Joe Diamond: Okay. So it’s a 13-year-old second cousin. I was thinking

Christa Innis: gg, second cousin’s kid, so I think it’s like, what is that your

Joe Diamond: A third cousin?

Christa Innis: Yeah. How’s that work? Second cousin wants removed your third cousin. I don’t know how that works, but I’m like thinking, I’m like my second cousin’s kids. I’m like, I didn’t invite any of my second cousins to my wedding.

Joe Diamond: Trying to think.

Is is again, I’m gonna go this kind of direction just briefly. I can see maybe.

If like the mom, so my, so my late mother was actually my cousin’s nanny for the first, like six, seven years of his life.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Joe Diamond: Um, they called her Auntie Trudy, but she like worked for my, you know, my aunt, her sister-in-law as, as his nanny. Um, so yeah, she, and, and she’s not a blood re relative to my cousin Bobby, who was, who was the one being nannied, but like, if he was being invited somewhere or if he was, you know, there was a, like, she was invited to his graduation and she, you know, um, you know, he’s, he’s not married, but if he ever did get married, I’d assume Yeah.

She’d be invited because Yeah, she is, she’s not just his aunt, but she also, you know, took care of him for a long time. Like if the mom had some kind of relationship like that, maybe if there was some, but like none of that. And then on top of it, like.

The mom wanted drama. Yeah. Mom wanted drama. She’s already upset

Christa Innis: about

Joe Diamond: something. Because here’s the thing too, you could get away with a 13-year-old not being a kid. Mm-hmm. That could have just completely flown under the radar the whole day. Like, not a problem. Oh, no kids. Okay. Well ’cause like a 13-year-old like, isn’t a kid.

It’s, it’s a, it’s you’re a teenager already. Yeah. And if it’s, if they’re, you know, have had their growth spurt and it’s all that, it’s like Yeah. They probably will just be like, you know, scared. They’re just gonna sulk in the corner and, and you know, be an awkward 13-year-old. But if they’re having fun with their second cousins and aunts and uncles and her mom and stuff, then okay.

Like, I think like that could have very easily been like. To me, like it’s now like, okay, like yeah, that’s not a kid. That’s, that’s a teenager. Like

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Joe Diamond: Which is a whole other, which is a whole other thing. Um, as

Christa Innis: it’s the, it’s the mom just trying to cause some drama, trying to control something. Because we also don’t even know if the second cousin said anything, like, maybe, maybe the second cousin was like, I don’t care if they come or not.

I’m, I will, I’ll still go. Maybe at that point the invitations weren’t even out and they didn’t even know if they were gonna invite the second cousin, but the mom’s like, oh, well, she won’t come without this. ’cause I have heard of families like that where they, they already have this crazy list of people that haven’t even talked to the bride or groom in years, and they’re like, we weren’t even gonna invite them.

They’re like, but it’s my second cousin. And they’re like, why are you inviting people that like, I don’t have a relationship with? So, yeah. So I feel like at the end of the day, it’s like, it doesn’t even matter. Even if the person was 21 years old and as their kid, it’s like. If they don’t have a relationship with them or didn’t ha think to include them, then they’re not as important to them as the, to the mom.

Joe Diamond: Yeah. Yeah. I, I think the, the mom is literally like, there, there’s, there’s something more going on with her, with her wanting. She wanted something to come to a head with this, uh, with this gal, uh, her, her boys marrying, there’s, there’s some, something, something deeper there. I don’t, I don’t buy that. It’s, yeah,

Christa Innis: yeah, yeah.

So she says, um, okay. So like, to kind of finish that part, she says, uh, the rest of the family wouldn’t show up either if the 13-year-old wasn’t invited, or technically if she was uninvited, since his mom had already taken it upon herself to say yes, then she insisted on

Joe Diamond: speaking a 13-year-old girl too. So I’m, I’m making all the wrong assumptions on this.

Okay. Uh oh. A 13-year-old girl definitely wants to go to a wedding. And like that wouldn’t be a, like, I don’t know, is in your mind, is that a kid in all seriousness? Like am I, am I just crazy here? Yes. To

Christa Innis: me, that’s a kid.

Joe Diamond: It is a kid. Okay. All right. All right.

Christa Innis: Like we did only, we did, uh, 21 and older at our wedding.

So anyone that was under, because I had cousins that were like younger and I didn’t invite them.

Joe Diamond: Sure, sure, sure, sure. And if you’ve got like a bunch of cousins, you gotta invite, you can’t invite just one, you gotta invite them all kind of deal.

Christa Innis: Deal. Like

Joe Diamond: I, I’ve got two

Christa Innis: maybe at 13 if I was, if it was like my parents’ second cousin’s wedding, I don’t know if I would go to that.

But if it was like my family, like aunt and uncle at 13, oh yeah, I would’ve loved that. So it just depends on your relation. Yeah, like, but my parents would never have been like, you have to invite my kid. My parents would never

Joe Diamond: also, okay, so it’s his 13 year old’s, female, second cousin. It’s back to weird.

It’s back to weird now.

Christa Innis: I think it’s his second cousin’s kid.

Joe Diamond: His second cousin’s kid. But the kid is a 13-year-old girl.

Christa Innis: The kid is a 13-year-old. Mm-hmm.

Joe Diamond: So she, she should not have a relationship with him. She should like, like let’s be real about that. Right. Like, she should not have, like, that is officially too distanced to be like, you know, have a sibling dynamic.

That’s too like that. Like, no, they don’t, they don’t care about e No, they shouldn’t care about each other. Like, yeah.

Christa Innis: I mean, I don’t know.

Joe Diamond: I don’t know. We’re back weird. We’re, we’re back. This is a rollercoaster. Geez. I, I could see again, like, yes, anyone under, if, if, if no kids means no one under 21. Yes. I, I, I think to me when I say no kids, I think like thir no one, 13 and under.

Like, that’s, that’s kind of where my brain was kind of at. Um. Because like if one teenager comes, it’s like, okay, well then, oh, dang it. But you know, that sucks. Like, I feel bad for the teen. Like what are they gonna do? You know? Right.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Joe Diamond: You know? Yeah.

Christa Innis: I mean, I think really what it comes down to is that the bride and groom said no and the mom.

Joe Diamond: Yeah. Yeah. And I think that’s, that’s the big thing. You gotta, you gotta just, you gotta just learn when, learn when to hold ’em, learn when to fold ’em and like,

Christa Innis: yeah.

Joe Diamond: I, I think the mom is trying to, to just not make it easy on them. I think, I think the mom’s trying to come up with anything possible that she can pivot, because like, that’s the other thing.

There’s lots of ways you can ruin a relationship or ruin a wedding. I think she’s trying to come up, these are the only things that, the only straw she’s grasping at that she can turn around to be there slash her future. And daughter-in-law’s fault. Which right. Is not, and no one, no. Everyone’s seeing through.

Like, no, no. You’re just hiding it behind your back. Like no, like we, we know what you’re doing.

Christa Innis: Yeah. She’s

Joe Diamond: fighting

Christa Innis: something

Joe Diamond: also. No one else in the family will come. Well, does the rest of the family know she’s crazy? ’cause they might like that can, that’s a bold move on the mom to think like, oh, everyone’s gonna,

Gold Digger, Fake, and ‘Are You Sure You Want This?’

Christa Innis: I, yeah, I hear this stuff all the time with these kind of people.

They always threaten not to come. They’d be like, oh, if you don’t do this, if you don’t have your brother in the wedding, if you don’t have this girl as a flower girl, we’ll not come. And it’s like, okay, then. Then don’t. Okay, let me get, okay. Let’s see. Um, she insisted. Then on speaking to my fiance alone during that call, she told him she was embarrassed by our wedding, embarrassed by how we treated the family, and incredibly disappointed in him.

After a lot of yelling and crying, she demanded that he come over to have a sit down conversation with both parents without me. After we talked it through, he went thinking it was the best option. That conversation lasted three and a half hours. It’s all this talking.

Joe Diamond: It’s getting shorter. It’s getting shorter.

Okay.

Christa Innis: A little shorter. Yeah,

Joe Diamond: a little shorter.

Christa Innis: During it, they raised some concerns about me basically saying I was fake. And then I just, I just say whatever people wanted to hear to smooth over the conversations they implied. I was a no they,

Joe Diamond: difficult conversations when, first of all, okay, okay, well let’s get to the gold digger thing in a moment.

Um, ’cause I, I have kind of a weird theory that, that that’s just popped into all of this. Um, ’cause this has happened, uh, to me as well. Okay. Um, yeah. Yeah. She’s, you’re mad at her trying to smooth over the problems you’re creating, like Right. That that’s,

Christa Innis: oh my gosh. She’s too, she’s too kind.

Joe Diamond: She’s not causing more drama.

Yeah. Yeah. She’s, she’s so, so, okay. So th this is reference. This has been referenced a couple times, um, where she says, the mom has said the family.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Joe Diamond: I have a new perspective on this and I might be projecting this might be a mob thing. Um, I was, again, early in my career. Again, the show was great, but this is just one of those little stories.

Um, it was in downtown Chicago. I took the train down and, uh, went to the venue and they were, uh, I’m still getting paid on Arrival Cash. I now get, you know, I don’t go anywhere without a deposit now. Uh, but, but that’s how long ago it was. And she was like, oh yeah, my husband will take care of you. And I’m like, a little nervous about that.

I’m like, does he know how much? Like, is he gonna throw a stink? What’s gonna, but he was fine. Um, he was like, oh yeah, sure. He’s like, love, love that. You take cash. Cash is great in my business. And as he’s saying that, he’s taking out a wad, just a rubber band, just a wad of no cards in between, either just,

Christa Innis: yeah,

Joe Diamond: cash, just stack.

And I’m so young and naive, he starts peeling him off. He’s like, good. I love cash in my business too. And I’m so young and naive. I go, oh, what business is that? And he literally stops, looks at me, looks back at the money. Peels off what he owes me. Peels off an extra a hundred and just goes seafood business.

Oh. And I’m like, love seafood. Yeah, seafood. Wonderful. Love it, love it. Um, that event went so well that like two, three-ish years later I’m doing another event and they’re there. That woman, you know, someone at that party booked me for their party and I see ’em and I, you know, grew up fast and show business, you know, doing all these events and I just see ’em and I go, how’s the seafood business?

And there was a moment where like, you know, when someone’s like, what do they mean? Yeah. But like, it was just like a half second of that and he goes, ah, booming. So like. Got it. Like, okay. Yep. That’s all we’re gonna talk about. That’s all we’re gonna talk about. Like y Yes. Like we’ve all, again, we, we’ve been at some events where it’s like, oh, that person don’t mess with Vinny.

Don’t, you know, like, you know, there, there’s some events I’ve been out where it’s like, okay, I’m getting some, some weird mob vibe. So now like, disrespecting the family and now gold digger. Like

Christa Innis: mm-hmm.

Joe Diamond: Like, honestly, like that’s, that doesn’t happen. Like, that just doesn’t happen when it’s a family company.

It happens when it’s a family business, you know? You know what I’m saying? Yeah. So I’m getting weird, like matriarchal, you know, even if it’s not, you know, illegal. Just some weird like. You know.

Christa Innis: Oh

Joe Diamond: yeah. Mob, mob, vibey. You know what I mean? Like, like,

Christa Innis: I don’t know if I’ve read just like enough of these wedding stories.

It’s just a, it’s a pure, uh, mama’s boy thing. I’ve seen it in so many stories where the mom will call the new wife gold digger because there’s some kind of jealousy or insecurity where the boy is leaving the house and it’s so, it’s so weird. But they’ve completely, the second they call someone a gold digger, I’m like, you’re done.

Like, sorry.

Joe Diamond: Thoughts on credibility. Okay, so that’s a little more. All right. So I might be reading too much into it, but like

Christa Innis: you might be onto it. I don’t know. That’s, I’ve just seen it a lot in these stories. Sure. That’s like their go-to thing is like, oh, she’s a gold digger. She just wants you for your money.

When that’s even happened in stories where like, the woman’s making more than the man and the mom will be like, oh, she’s a gold digger. She’s wants you for this or that, and it’s just their go-to, uh, and sold, I’ve found.

Joe Diamond: Yeah. Uh, all

Christa Innis: right.

Joe Diamond: Okay. So called, they called her a gold digger. Said how di she’s, she’s too, she’s too nice.

She’s too flexible with all of our crazy demands. Like, come on. She’s just her pushover. Pushover.

Christa Innis: Right. Um, it said, um, okay, so then she did ad she said his family is very well off and mine isn’t. So they’re just bringing out money in it.

Joe Diamond: Okay. Fair. But

Christa Innis: yeah, they even said, I exaggerate my pain to get out of family gatherings.

For context, I’ve had three hip surgeries in the last five years. My most recent one was October, 2024, and yet I haven’t missed a single family gathering. The most I’ve done is step away to sit somewhere more comfortable to manage my pain. They also told him something along the lines of, we know once you make a decision, you stick with it, but we need you to tell us if this is really what you want and we’ll help you get out of it.

So now they’re trying to talk to him, get out of the wedding, meaning marrying me. He defended me, but it felt like once, once one issue was addressed, another one popped up. Immediately. By the time he came home after hours with them blaming me for everything, he was emotionally wrecked. This whole situation was breaking him.

He keeps saying he wants to keep the peace, but at the same time his mom is currently planning my bridal shower. I’d be like, I don’t want her touching anything wedding related

Joe Diamond: odd,

Christa Innis: which was an olive branch I tried to extend a while ago. Now I feel like I don’t want someone who thinks so poorly of me planning something meant to celebrate me.

Yeah, I would. If you’re listening to this now, I would say tell her you no longer want her planning it. Have friends or your family do it or don’t have one, and I would not be, I literally would not be going to an event of someone that like hates me.

Joe Diamond: Yeah. Yeah. I think, uh, so are we talking? Okay. So, um, is, is that it, is that the, is that the end of it?

There

Christa Innis: was a little bit more.

Joe Diamond: Do a little bit more. ’cause I, I want to, I I, I, I have a theory, I have one more theory of what they can do next, but let’s hear the end of it. Um,

Christa Innis: um, he genuinely believes they like me. I don’t know how I feel about this fiance anymore.

Joe Diamond: Oof, oof.

Christa Innis: How many times you have to be told by your parents.

She’s the problem. She’s a gold digger. She’s, are you sure you wanna do this?

Joe Diamond: It’s definitely been toxic. Positive too much in my life. I, I can’t throw stone in that house. Uh. Continue. Okay. Uh, I, I, I, I still say, okay, he, he’s not the red flag. That’s been the biggest red flag for him so far. He’s still doing all.

Christa Innis: Yeah, he’s not, he, I definitely wouldn’t call him a red flag. I think he’s definitely more, um, he’s trying to keep the peace, uh, like, like she said, but it’s also, you have to look at the dynamic of his mom being very controlling and maybe manipulative. So, so he’s like, I want everyone to be happy. These are people I all care about.

I they really do like you. I promise you just don’t know them yet. You know, like that kind of thing. So that’s hard. Um, so she genuinely believes they like me and are just concerned, but I don’t see how someone can like me while believing I’m fake manipulative and using him. He broke down crying and said he doesn’t know how much more conflict he can take.

And honestly now I don’t know what to do either. He’s extremely involved with his family. He works for the family business. Oh,

Joe Diamond: called it. I called it, I called that I did, did did.

Christa Innis: Mind reader.

Joe Diamond: Mind Reader totally called that? Totally, yes.

Christa Innis: Okay. You might really be honest. Something. And they don’t want her stealing from this family business or learning the secrets.

Maybe. Did,

Joe Diamond: did they say that? Did they say

Christa Innis: that? So I just am implying. Okay.

Joe Diamond: Okay. I was gonna say. Okay. Alright.

The Only Way Forward: A Hard Reset

Christa Innis: Alright. Well she just said and sees most of them every single day, um, at work. So now I’m stuck wondering, do I keep the peace and hope he eventually realizes how toxic this is? Or do I finally speak up about how I feel and risk everything blowing up because I genuinely don’t know.

Alright, so she needs some advice here.

Joe Diamond: Okay. Um. Uh, keep in mind, I am a straight white man. No one should listen to me. Um, again, I do have empathy, but that’s my only superpower. Um, hey,

Christa Innis: Empathy is a great superpower.

Joe Diamond: It is a, it is a, it is a great superpower. Um, but then everything’s your kryptonite. So, um, so, okay.

I, okay. So now that, okay. Um, I, I see. So I think there are options. Um, I actually think, uh, provided it is, you know, setting aside the jokes about, you know, mob ties and everything, if it is a legitimate family printing business or, you know, brewery or something, there’s no money laundering or anything like that.

Uh, I would actually say, um. Put things on a six month hold and offer to work at the family business.

Christa Innis: Oh,

Joe Diamond: I would say, Hey, you clearly don’t trust me yet. Give me six months to, to, you know, I’ll, you know, now you’re opening yourself up to a lot of literal, you know, crap shoveling. You’re, you’ll be cleaning the toilets and all the others.

I understand this is in some ways like could be mentally and physically not the most safe. Um, but if you are in their world, in their, for lack of a better term, because they have their own culture now. Like what? You know, I was making all the jokes before, but if it’s a family business and they’re seeing each other every day, you are now this extra extra thing you, you got.

Yeah, I think there’s gotta be some level to where they can see the value of you, not just the value you bring to their son. Is that necessarily right or the best way or anything else? Probably not, but it, it is a suggestion, uh, that I think is a worthwhile exploration to take or at least offer. Mm-hmm. Um, either way I say pump the brakes a little, maybe reset some dates if you can.

Um, I know that’s a pain in the butt. I know. But so is dealing with these people forever. So like, and, and this is, this is the only like hard and fast advice I give to just about anyone. The way relationships begin, typically the way they continue.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Joe Diamond: And I mean that with everything, with business, with, if you start having to chase a client, you don’t have to keep chasing them.

And yeah, that may be great for the once every five year payoff, uh, for that one really big event. They, they, they book you for. Um, but you’re gonna be best off with a client that will meet you on even playing field and wants to work with you as much as you wanna work with them.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. It’s

Joe Diamond: the same with romantic relationships.

If you have to keep chasing and keep texting and keep doing all this

Christa Innis: mm-hmm.

Joe Diamond: You have to keep doing that Doesn’t sound like, uh, this person has that with their fiance, but they definitely have it with the parent and that is the one risk of doing this.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Joe Diamond: Um, which is, you know, not, not to say toxic cycles can’t be broken and relationships can’t be fixed.

They absolutely can. But just typically, typically as a general rule, um, even if it’s not. Like, even if the two, her and the mom-in-law become bosom buddies in 10, 15, 20 years, there’s still gonna probably be some form of tension. It’s just shifted somewhere else. Like

Christa Innis: hierarchy

Joe Diamond: or something? Yeah. Hierarchy or something.

So you, you gotta decide if it’s worth playing there. Their hierarchy game mm-hmm. For your husband. Um, ’cause like, it sounds like the husband is so ingrained in it, he’s probably not going to notice any of it. Yeah. Um, he’s probably not gonna go no contact or anything like that. I know there’s, that’s a whole other discussion of everything.

Yeah. Whole. Uh, I, I also have the opposite advice, which may be just as crazy, but may work. Um, get a prenup and elope. Mm. Get a prenup elope. It’s done. Now it’s just, do you wanna celebrate us and this new chapter of our lives,

Christa Innis: yeah.

Joe Diamond: It’s, it’s a hard re there’s gotta be some level of hard reset, whether it’s because, whether it’s eloping, whether it’s working, whether it’s, so, I, I think that’s the common thread of all these things that are coming to me, which is I think there needs to be some level needs of hard reset.

Yeah. That you have to do. You can’t expect the, the fiance, the the husband, the the son, uh, yeah. To, uh, be a part of. Because I think once, when you do any of those things, I feel like it kind of, it kind of takes care of all the other stuff.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Joe Diamond: And means you, yes, you do have to, in some ways start over, but you know more of what you’re getting into and you at least know.

You know, the game you’re playing too, like at, at this point it sounds like you’re really trying, they’re really trying hard to play chess and the mother-in-law is the pigeon walking around, crapping on the board and strutting like it’s winning.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

So

Joe Diamond: you either gotta learn to clean it up and, and take, take care of the pigeon and ingratiate yourself in the culture because you’re not gonna teach at chess.

Yeah. But, um, there’s also this saying, uh, you know, don’t wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig lights it. Mm.

Christa Innis: So

Joe Diamond: it

Christa Innis: sounds like she Yeah. She gets mad when they like peace.

Joe Diamond: Yes. If you, you, you can’t go in wanting to like beat them at their own game or something like that if you are going to work, work or elope or any of that stuff.

It’s all gotta be from a standpoint of, look, this is. It all has the thing of this is happening, let’s do a hard reset.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Joe Diamond: You have too much in the way of what you think about me rather than actually knowing me. So yeah. ’cause nine times outta 10, like there’s a reason. This is a, a romantic comedy or romcom or chick flick or whatever you wanna call it.

Uh, so many plots where it’s what, what’s the secret? Oh, do a girl’s trip and at the end, after they’ve had it all out and had their really big thing, they’re now best friends, you know, and make it time, just in time for the wedding, yada yada. Yeah. Uh, you know, so there, but there’s a grain of truth to that, like, you know, yeah.

There’s, there’s something and, and I don’t think the mom’s going to give any of that. You gotta either, you know, again, clean slate, Hey, it’s done. Now we’re just having the, the celebration and, you know. And it’s up to you if you wanna be a part of it.

Christa Innis: Here’s my thought, so

Joe Diamond: I’d love to hear your thought.

Christa Innis: I, I agree with you.

Where like people like that kinda want the game and once you kind of give a little bit, they’re gonna take as much as they can and they’re gonna always have that hierarchy. It’s like that quote of like, what is it? I’m gonna mess it up. It’s like, give an inch. They take a mile or whatever. It’s like they’re gonna keep going.

So maybe it’s, ’cause I’ve read some of these stories, I feel like you need to, one, I think it needs to be the fiance that puts his foot down. It can’t be you because she doesn’t like you. And it’s been very clear that she doesn’t like you. So I think the fiance has to be the one that says, this is what we’re doing.

I’m not putting up with this smack talk about about my fiance. Um, and if you keep doing this, we are gonna elope. So if they can threaten not coming, then we’re gonna threaten to elope. And maybe, again, I’ve read too many of these stories and I don’t know, again, I haven’t had this actual situation or I’ve amazing in-laws and parents that were involved in our wedding.

So yeah. I can’t say from personal experience, but from reading so many of these, I’m like, how do you, you don’t wanna play their game, but you wanna surpass their game. You wanna be

Joe Diamond: like, and, and that’s, that’s ultimately where everything I was saying was like, you know, working in the company is a way to surpass, like, yes, you’re kind of going into the game, but you’re surpassing the current game, basically.

Christa Innis: Oh yeah. You’re on the next level. You’re like,

Joe Diamond: I’m already up. You’re you’re getting around that to get directly into

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Joe Diamond: The family. Um, Sean,

Christa Innis: you’re not an amateur. You’re, you’re, you’re surpassing all their game.

Joe Diamond: Yeah, I, and I do agree with you, no matter which, if you go any of these routes, definitely. I think it does have to be the husband who says, look.

We’re if he, if if this is how it’s gonna be, then we’re gonna elope, and then you can decide if you wanna be a part of our wedding, uh, our, you know, celebrate that after the fact. Mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Joe Diamond: Um, I,

Christa Innis: and then when things, I feel like then when they get kind of like, they try it again, they’re like, oh, we actually already booked this a place.

So,

Joe Diamond: yeah, exactly. Exactly. You know, and well then that’s the other thing too. Uh, the, the, the next thing I think you’re right, has to be the fiance saying that, but I think she has to be there too. It has to be the, the two of you no more, no more him going by himself.

Christa Innis: Yes.

Joe Diamond: You’re, you are direct, double Now, final thing too, ’cause again, you have, you have a, you know, a great situation with your family and your in-laws.

I’ve, I’ve got a, I, again, I’ll get to my full wedding story in a moment, but, um, I always tell people when it comes to, like my wife and I, we just, uh, we’ve been together a decade now. I always say that I think it was Bo Burnham who talked about this, but like, we are lottery winners. People are coming to for financial advice.

Christa Innis: Like,

Joe Diamond: we can’t just be like, oh, buy Powerball tickets. It clearly works. Like, you know? Right. Like, we’ve got someone who like came with not a lot of drama. So, you know, there, there is like that aspect of it. Yes, of course. Uh, but I do think there’s a, uh, there’s an opportunity to have a different perspective on this all of course.

And everything. And, and so sometimes you just know, uh, that, that said, yeah, I think the two of them together, uh, need to, he needs to tell them, but she needs to be there. It can’t be another, and, you know, maybe, maybe just two to four hour conversations about Christmas and everything that, that is, that is your life now.

You know, and you gotta, you gotta talk to, and I think talking to the, the husband or the fiance saying like, Hey, this may be how it is for a very long time. If this does not change, what’s the game plan? What is, yeah. Because you can’t just expect it’s going to be better one day. Um, and they need, they need to work with you on that.

Um,

Christa Innis: yeah, that’s,

Joe Diamond: uh, anyways, that’s, that’s, that’s my, my final that’s on that. Good

Christa Innis: advice. Okay.

Joe Diamond: So I got married on Friday the 13th in November of 2020.

Christa Innis: Whoa. Okay.

Joe Diamond: So, and on purpose too, this was not cancellation, this is not reschedule. So we got engaged, we had been together and living together for a few years and we had gotten engaged, uh, uh, day after Christmas in 2019 in Hawaii.

So like we came home after New Year’s and we were engaged and we initially talked about a longer engagement ’cause we were already living together. We wanted to take some time and plan. Um. Then COVID hit. Um, I am an independent sole proprietor, small business owner, independent artist, insurance, all that.

Uh, so being on her insurance would be the better call also, without getting too much into that. And, um, my late mothers will just say religious and political affiliations. If I were in the hospital, I would want my wife, Lindsay to be in charge of making those decisions. Not my mom. And my mom is no longer with us, but, you know, that’s a whole other, that’s a whole other conversation for another podcast.

But at the time, at the time she was alive and I was like, no, I don’t like, and I, when I told that to Lindsay, she was like, oh, we should do this like soon. Mm-hmm. And we realized, oh my gosh, like there’s all these social distance weddings happening.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Joe Diamond: And. We, we looked at a few venues and stuff, but turns off, if you wanna get married on Friday the 13th, during a pandemic, you get it’s open deals, you get deals.

We got the Grand Geneva for a deal. Yeah. Uh, it was, and, and we had the dinner, uh, at individual tables downstairs. It was less than 20 people. Uh, it was our us our parents. My best friend officiated the wedding. Uh, so he was able to be there. Uh, I had three out of four grandparents still alive at that point, so, uh, and she had one, uh, still alive, so they all got to be there a bit.

Um, and I was like, oh, we’re getting married Friday the 13th. Ha ha ha. We’re tempting fate. Uh, yeah. Uh, three weeks before the wedding we got COVID.

Christa Innis: Oh no,

Joe Diamond: it was right on the cusp, like literally like five days before the wedding was when we were like no longer contagious. Oh

Christa Innis: my gosh. You’re like counting the days.

Joe Diamond: We were, we were, and we were just worried like, oh my God, are we gonna be able to taste the food? Like that was, we were still, we were still worried about it. Um, but yeah, but like when people say, oh, you got married on Friday the 13th, that’s very on brand for you. And I say, yeah, in 2020. Well,

Christa Innis: they’re like, wait,

Joe Diamond: yeah, in November.

Oh, oh

Christa Innis: my gosh.

Joe Diamond: Got a heck of a deal. And since then, her younger sister got married and my parents-in-law, uh, have said several times, both during the planning, before, during and after. You two did it the right way. That’s all, that’s all they said. And I was like, all right, good.

Christa Innis: All right. I love it. Okay, so I know we’re kind of running outta time, but I know you wanted to do another little

Joe Diamond: mental do this.

Yeah. Well, it’s, uh, so it’s parts, um, it, it’s, it’s not so much mind reading, more so kind of a, a, a mystical guided visualization, uh, that everyone can, uh, play along with. Um, it really accesses, you know, the imagination and so forth. And at the end, I’ll kind of tell you the, the hidden meaning behind all of it.

Uh, so, um, it’s a way to connect, not even really with me, but with yourself Now. Just, just a couple other quick things too. Uh, number one, um, uh, this is not a, uh, you know. It’s not, it’s not like a, you know, I’m not gonna try to guess like anyone’s pin code or anything through this. No one’s gonna be hypnotized or anything like that.

It’s just a visualization. So if you wanna close your eyes for this, you can, uh, Christa, but, uh, and Cynthia with everyone else. But imagine that one day you come across a secret guard, okay? A wall with vines and growth around it. Uh, but you find a small wooden door. But to open it, you need the key of virtue.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Joe Diamond: So I’m gonna list off some positive virtues and character traits. You don’t have to remember all of them. Just remember one that you see in yourself and see in others. Ready? Okay. So here we go. Remember one of these, uh, we’ve got strength tolerance, wit bravery, youth sincerity, tenacity, wisdom, balance, sensitivity.

Uh, remember one of those? Yep. Okay. Everyone else remember one, concentrate on it. Uh, and suddenly a beam of light comes down from the heavens. And in this beam is the key to this door. And the head of the key is the first letter of your virtue or character trait that you’re, you’re thinking of that you saw in yourself.

So imagine you grab that key, feel the warmth of the light shining, uh, as you put it in the lock, and slowly open the door and enter the secret garden. It’s beautiful, the plants, the wildlife, the trees. However, in the center of this garden, there’s a special tree, a tree that mystically has many different fruits growing on it.

I’ll tell you the names of, uh, all of the fruits in a moment. Now, one of these names has the letter from your key in its name. Okay? Now that letter might not be the first letter in the fruit’s name. Your letter might be in the middle or all the way at the end of the fruit’s name. Okay? So stay alert and remember the fruit that has your letter in the name.

Here we go. Apple peach, strawberry, pineapple, lemon, lime, grape, pear, orange, plum. Remember your fruit. Okay. And imagine you can reach up and pluck it from the tree. Feel it in your hands, and take a big bite of that fruit. And imagine it’s sweetness, it’s texture, it’s color, it’s bright red color. Because if you’ve listened properly and have been properly guided during this visualization, you should be imagining a strawberry.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Joe Diamond: Yes. Yes. And people can, people can, uh, let us know if they listened in that should have worked with them to, uh, again, message you on, uh, on Facebook. Leave a comment, message us on Instagram. I’m @joediamondlive on, uh, on all Instagram and, uh, social, social medias. And, uh, let us know. Let us know if it worked.

And, uh, yeah, and, and also share this with a friend too. See if it works on them.

Christa Innis: Yeah. That’s wild. Yeah. We’ll share this on, uh, we’ll do like the clip on Instagram and then we’ll share it on YouTube as well, so people can comment and, uh, and we’ll tag you so they can, it can be on your page as well. No, that’s awesome.

That, that’s a wild exercise.

Joe Diamond: Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Awesome. Well, thank you so much for coming on today. It was so nice meeting you and Oh, nice. And hearing about your, your journey.

Joe Diamond: Yeah. And yes, hearing, hearing your, uh, stories and everything on the podcast too have been, have been great as well. And, uh, yeah, when, uh, uh, so yeah, so I’m glad we finally able we’re to connect and make this happen, so, uh, so yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. This is great. Thanks so much.

Thank you.