Podcast Episodes

Stolen Money, Bridesmaid Fallout, and a Reception Meltdown

“He never proposed… but she booked the wedding anyway.”

In this week’s wild submission, a bride schedules her own wedding without a proposal, spirals into a blackout reception meltdown, and leaves her guests walking out before sunset. But that’s not even the biggest twist.

Then, I dive into a complicated bridesmaid fallout during a real-life family crisis and ask the hard question: where do boundaries end and empathy begin? This solo episode is messy, dramatic, and full of hard lessons.

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Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • Booked Without a Proposal – A bride schedules her wedding date without her partner’s knowledge… and chaos follows from there.
  • The Blackout Reception Meltdown – Guests leave by 6PM after the bride spirals, curses people out, and blames everyone else.
  • Vendor Money Mystery – Thousands were “paid”… except the vendors never received it.
  • Sibling Jealousy Showdown – A bride faces pressure to make her unsupportive sister maid of honor.
  • Missing Cousin, Bridesmaid Fallout – A heartbreaking family situation collides with wedding deadlines and communication breakdowns.
  • When Weddings Expose True Dynamics – From control issues to emotional manipulation, the red flags were loud.
  • Would You Rather? Wedding Edition – Exes, divorced parents, awkward photos… we’re choosing chaos or calm.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  • “If you’re already struggling, marriage and kids are not going to fix it.”
  • “Just because someone is family doesn’t mean they automatically get a spot in your wedding.”
  • “Be really firm on what you want and surround yourself with people who are going to love you and support you.”
  • “You cannot expect people to fund a wedding you can’t afford.” 
  • “Nice people without boundaries get walked all over.”
  • “Other people’s lives don’t stop just because you’re getting married.”

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

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Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of, Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis, and one of these days I’m going to post and share a completely full of blooper episode where I don’t redo it a million times before starting. You know, you guys hear like the fully edited version. So I think a lot of times people think like it’s scripted or I plan it out, but no, I record and stop so many times because sometimes I just jumble over my words. Um, same with skits. Like I, I think sometimes people think I have a fully scripted out, like storyline, but half the time I’m just seeing what comes out and seeing what happens. Um, so I have to rerecord a lot. I don’t have. A camera on me at all times though, to catch all these wild bloopers that come up.

Especially when I record on like TikTok or certain platforms, I have to like just go back and erase. Um, ’cause one time someone was like, can you post your bloopers? And I’m like, girl, those are deleted. Those are long gone. But maybe one of these days I will. Um, it’s something I need to get over of just like that perfectionist side of like sounding good.

Plus sounding good. I don’t even know if that’s correct. Whatever. Plus, like sometimes I, I post stuff and I’ll speak the wrong way or I stutter, or my word slur and there’s just people that comment on it. So I always think about it in the back of my mind anyway, um, I wanna do a quick little shameless ask.

Um, if you guys are enjoying the podcast, if you love listening to it. If you’re a regular listener, I want to encourage you to leave a review for the podcast. A review just really helps it get out to so many other places, um, higher on the charts, more people finding the podcast, and it’s just really helpful.

Thank you to all those that have left reviews so far shared it with friends, shared it on social media. It just means so much to me and I see every re-share, I see every tag, I see every post. So, um, I’m just so incredibly, incredibly grateful for you. 

Wedding Dilemma Begins: Sister vs. Maid of Honor

All right, starting off, we are gonna do wedding dilemmas.

So this one was actually sent to me on my phone, so I’m gonna read it on here. Currently. Now when this comes out, this skit will probably be over, but if you remember, the bride, Brielle’s family doesn’t like the groom. Um, a quick little synopsis is the girl gets engaged to Grant. It’s Bri, Brielle and Grant.

They get engaged and, um, their, when she, when they tell the family, they kind of just look at them like, okay, whatever. And they move on from it. Right now the part one was inspired by a story that was sent to me and I read it on YouTube, but um, then I just kinda went wild with it because there was literally only one little section that was sent to me and I just kinda went crazy with all these side stories anyway, so, um.

The girl, someone messaged me, obviously she’ll stay anonymous, but the woman that messaged me said she had a very similar situation going on. So this family in this story that was sent to me, they just were not supportive. They were calling, um, Grant, the groom lazy because he moved in with her and quit his job, meanwhile also going to school and getting a new job.

But they just did not think that he was good enough for her. Because of the job he had or what he was doing with his life. And they were just so, um, they spoke so negatively about him and they were just rude to her about wanting to get engaged to him. So obviously they had their own issues. Um, in this skit obviously I add a lot of extra drama. But anyway, here is what the current dilemma, she says, I have a similar situation going on. My sister didn’t congratulate me either. She only did after my mom told her to. Now she’s texting my fiance and she expects to be a part of my bachelorette party and wanting to plan everything. At the same time, my mom expects me to make her part of the wedding, even as my maid of honor. It’s horrible. I already have a maid of honor. It’s a girl my sister and mom hate because she’s been with a guy for some years that my sister wanted as well. Whoa. That’s a whole thing. Okay. And they both expect me to unfriend her.

I mean, really, I even just invited my sister to go dress shopping with me just to include her in something, even though I didn’t really feel like it. My sister has always been the problem in her family and makes everything about her. Ooh, this is definitely a dilemma because it’s very common that parents want their siblings together in a wedding, and I get it. I mean, you, you want to see them together. Who doesn’t want their kids to be friends? Right. However, given everything that she’s explained, how the sister sounds, I don’t know if she’s jealous or just mad, but the fact that she didn’t congratulate her and how to be told by the mom to congratulate her, you can tell they don’t really get along very well.

They’re not close. She already has a best friend. I don’t think siblings have to have each other in their weddings. Um. And especially not maid of honor. I feel like there’s like this like idea that your siblings have to be maid of honor or best man and that everyone else follows suit. It should be about how close you are and who you want up there and who’s going to support you.

Um, and it’s hard when you have your parents telling you this person needs to be in your wedding. Um, but it sounds like you know what you want to do. You already asked your friend to be the maid of honor. It’s so weird to me that your mom and sister hate her because they both liked the same guy. Like for one mom, get out of the drama.

That has nothing to do with you. Like, okay. Two. I mean, I don’t know how recently it was, but it sounds like your friend’s been with this guy for a long time, so the sister needs to let it go. I don’t know. Um. What I’m getting from your text here is that you don’t even want her to be in the wedding at all.

So I think it’s really big of you to invite her and include her to certain things that you feel comfortable inviting her and including her at. Right? So if you invite her to this dress shopping, it sounds like it didn’t happen yet. If she does, you know, if she acts, you know, supportive and is kind, and then afterwards is texting you other things.

Go by your gut. If you feel good about it, then maybe invite her to be in the wedding. If at this dress fitting or dress shopping she’s rude or puts you down or is making sly snide comments, maybe that’s your sign to just go with your gut. Um, it’s hard when parents hold things over your head, like I’ve talked to people before that.

They’ve said, oh, my parents said if I don’t have my brother as the best man, they’re not paying for anything. Or they’re gonna tell my family not to come. And that’s just childish. That’s just like, I don’t understand that reasoning. Um, because why would you want her up there next to you if she’s rude, doesn’t support you and doesn’t wanna like, be happy for you?

I don’t, I don’t get that. I don’t think that just because someone is a family member, they have to be in your wedding. So really listen to your gut, see how she starts acting. Maybe these little kind of things that you invite her to see how she responds. Definitely don’t make her your maid of honor. It sounds like you already asked someone.

So that’s set in stone. If they bring it up again, say like, Hey, I already asked my friend to be the maid of honor. If, um, you have other people, you’re gonna have you in the wedding as well, just make sure you sound like you have your ducks in a row, even if you don’t completely just say, you know what?

I’ve talked to this friend and this friend, and they’re already gonna be in the wedding. So sister can kind of figure out if she wants to be on your good side or if she wants to keep being like, not very supportive. Um, so there’s a lot of different moving parts in it, but I feel like ultimately you gotta listen to your gut because there’s so many people that I’ve also heard from that caved, right?

And they’re like, you know what? I’m just gonna be the peacemaker. I’m gonna have this person in my wedding. And then they regretted it because they did something. They made it about them. They were rude at certain events. Um, so you really have to listen to your gut. She wants to plan everything. Say no, we got that taken care of.

Talk to your maid of honor. Have her plan the bachelorette. If your sister says, well, I’m not coming, if I’m not planning it, then say, alright, we’ll, we’ll miss you then. Um, be really firm on what you want and surround yourself with people that are going to love you and support you because it’s your time to shine.

All right. That is the dilemma for this week. Let me know what you guys think. What would you do in this situation? I know it’s very complicated when parents get involved and they want, you know, siblings to be together, but at the end of the day, it’s your wedding and you wanna be surrounded by people that are gonna support you.

Would You Rather: Exes, Remarriages, and Awkward Parents

All right? Getting into it. Would you rather, would you rather remarry in the same venue as your first wedding or remarry in a courthouse with zero photos? Okay. Speaking on like personal, like I’m saying, if something were to happen, uh, and I was getting remarried, I would not want to go to the same venue.

I think that’s very odd to me. Um, especially if you’re inviting like some of the same people. So I would go courthouse. I dunno. I also feel like as I get older, I’m like the smaller and smaller host. So like even if my husband and I were to do like a vow renewal or anniversary party, I wouldn’t wanna do, I don’t know, maybe anniversary party would be different than a remarry, but you know what I’m saying?

Um, I don’t know. I feel like I would go courthouse. Would you rather have your ex publicly congratulate you online or privately text you? I miss you the week of your wedding. Probably publicly congratulate you online. Let’s not make it weird. Why are you privately texting me? No. Because then everyone else can see like, oh, that’s weird.

Um, okay. Would you rather your ex try to try to talk for closure at the wedding? Why is he at your wedding or post? Should have been me on their story.

That’s okay. This is getting into some like romantic comedy type type stuff. The funniest part about this is my husband puts together these show notes, so he like put these all together. Um, okay. Um, I’ll go with the post. Should have been me on their story because that makes them look weird. Don’t come to my wedding and talk about closure.

Would you rather your divorced parents refuse to be in the same photo or they agree to photos, but start snip sniping at each other the whole time? I would say agree to be in photos because. You know, if they’ve got their own thing going on, the photographer can say, okay, stop for two seconds. Smile. Great.

Now keep yelling at each time. Um, ’cause the refusal, I’m like, it’s a picture that you’re gonna put on your wall. It’s for you. They’re your parents. Doesn’t matter if they’re married or not anymore. Let’s grow up for like a couple minutes and then part your ways. Would you rather your parents. Would you rather your parents new spouse try to act like your bonus parent or refuse to come because they feel excluded?

I mean, these are hard. I mean, my parents are still married, so I’ve never had two, um, I’ve never had a stepparent. Um, I’ve known, I have friends with divorced parents, so I mean, I guess I can think through their lens maybe as much as I can. Um.

I guess it depends on how new the spouse is. You know, like if they got married a week before and they’re like 25 years old, so they’re like younger than me, I would have an issue with that. But if they’ve been married five years and they’re happy and I love their relationship, then yeah. Um, I wouldn’t want someone.

To leave because they felt excluded. I think if they were important enough to me as a stepparent, I would include them. Um, so yeah, I know that was like a really complicated answer. Uh, would you rather kick your sister out of the wedding or let her stay? But she gives the vibe, she hates you the entire day.

This relates to that first dilemma. Um, if there are issues, I would say just kick outta the way. Leading up to the wedding, there’s constant issues where she’s saying rude things, putting you down. Just clean, sweep out, um, because you don’t want her like glaring at you in the background of photos or like talking crap about you behind your back.

So, yeah. All right. Last one. Would you rather invite a close family member or invite. Wait. Okay. Would you rather uninvite a close family member or invite them and risk them causing a scene? Um, okay, uninvite. If it’s someone that’s gonna cause a scene in a negative way, then I would just not invite them.

They’re no, no questions asked. 

She Booked the Wedding Without a Proposal

All right, let’s get into the first story. I did include two because this one seemed kind of shorter. But sometimes I talk a lot, so We’ll, we’ll, we’re gonna see how that goes. Okay. Here’s this week’s story submission. This story is about my brother and his now ex-wife’s wedding.

First of all, he never even proposed. They attended their local Catholic church regularly, and one day she went to the priest, asked about what dates were available, and literally booked a wedding without my brother knowing. Oh. What, okay, I need to know, does anyone know someone that has done this before?

Like I’ve heard, I’ve seen things like in TV shows and like movies, and I heard one story where they booked a venue like two years in advance because they were like, it, it like books out. This is my dream venue. And then during that time they met their fiance and it ended up working out, but the fiance was a part of it.

To just go to the priest and be like, what dates are available? And then book it. That’s kind of interesting. Okay. So yes, this is exactly the type of person you’re imagining. She was awful, bossy, controlling, and abusive towards my brother. Wow. Our whole family was hoping they would break up, not get married, but my brother is kind, gentle, and at that point they already had two children.

So he went along with it because he thought it would make life easier. No marriage, if you’re already struggling, marriage and children will only complicate things. It’s not gonna make things easier. I think we like see it all the time where it’s like people think, oh, if we have kids together, we’ll it’ll be the dad I want him to be, or she’ll be this like, no, if you’re already struggling, it’s not gonna make it better.

Wedding planning was a nightmare. They had no money, but she wanted everything and she demanded that we all chip in. We live in the UK and while some families do help pay for weddings, it’s far more common for couples to pay for their own weddings like I’m doing now. We aren’t poor, but also don’t have thousands of pounds we can just hand over because someone demands it.

Yeah, that’s the thing I always say is like. It is great when family wants to help or can help in any way, but you should never get engaged expecting that people are gonna pay for your wedding. When you get engaged, you should be like, okay, this is our budget between the two of us, and then if people wanna help, that’s great.

That’s a gift then. But to have this idea of this huge expensive wedding and not being able to afford it yourselves, I think that’s a problem. We gave money where we could, and all she did was complain. 

Reception Meltdown + Guests Walking Out by 6PM

Then four weeks before the wedding, I broke my foot and ended up in a boot. I didn’t wanna cause any drama or attention, so I found heels the same height as everyone else’s and wore one heel, so it would still look normal.

She was not happy about that either. What did you want her to do? Like to take the boot off just for your wedding day? Like you gotta do what you gotta do. At the church. Oh wait, when the day finally came, the venue looked beautiful and we were under the impression that everything was fully paid for, or so we thought at the church, the priest at the church, the priest accidentally called her by the wrong name during the ceremony.

Oh, no. That’s like the worst kind of person for that to happen to because she’s already like in a bad mood. She’s mean. Not a great person. It sounds like. Honestly, that should have been the first warning sign. It immediately put her in a, in a horrible mood. Yeah. I think most people wouldn’t be happy. When we got to the main venue, she was rude to everyone.

She swore directly at people’s faces, called them awful names. I would be leaving if the bride was treating me that way. I would be out of there. There’s no way. And told everyone she would not listen. Told everyone who would listen that she hated today. Then she got absolutely wasted, not tipsy, not fun drunk, just full on drunk, and she’s got two kids, I’m assuming that are there.

Okay. She started walking around telling people to F off, flipping everyone the middle finger, and acting like she wanted the entire day to burn to the ground. What, this was your idea, this was literally your idea and. It’s just like not up to her standards or something. By 6:00 PM nearly everyone had left, including most of the guests.

And keep in mind, the wedding only started at two. Okay? So people are like, yeah, F this, I’m outta here. I’m not staying. I wouldn’t be staying for that. The only people still there were my younger brother and her sibling.

Oh my gosh. She then spent the rest of the evening crying because she couldn’t understand why no one stayed. I stayed mostly because I couldn’t believe what I was witnessing. I ended up getting merely tipsy with my brothers and honestly just laughing at how unreal it all was. The next day she sent a giant message to everyone who attended, telling them they ruined her day.

So you think it’s your day and you can just go around talking to your guests that way. People that traveled far attended this wedding, took off work whatever they needed to do, and they ruined your day. No one responded. And I think most people went low contact after with her. 

Unpaid Vendors + Secret Affair Reveal

A few weeks later, my brother called me and my mom upset.

That’s when we found out that she hadn’t actually used the money we gave her to pay the vendors. We ended up paying an additional 2,800 pounds to make sure my brother didn’t have trouble or debts hanging over him because of her. What? Where did she use the money for? Then, because it always gets worse three months after the wedding, she told my brother she was pregnant with their third child.

They welcomed the baby eight months after getting married, meaning she was already pregnant when she was blackout drunk at her wedding. Oh my. That was my first thought is like, not her being pregnant, but like having the kids at the wedding. ’cause it says she already has two kids, but she was pregnant the whole time.

Wow. And then about two months after their daughter was born, she told my brother to leave and admitted that she’d been having an affair with someone from work. Is that person the baby’s father? I have so many questions. They’ve now been divorced for four years. I hope he is happy. I mean, that’s really hard because now you have children together, so like you can’t divorce, you know, like you still are gonna be around her. You still have to see her for certain things. Oh my word. Okay. I would love to say it’s been peaceful, but she’s still awful. The only upside is I don’t have to deal with her anymore. Even typing this out, it doesn’t feel real. It honestly sounds like a made up story, but I unfortunately, but unfortunately it all happened.

My brother is genuinely one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet, and this completely wrecked his mental health. Thankfully, he has a lot of support behind him. That makes me so sad because like it’s that nice guy, nice woman, you know. Nice person, right? That gets walked all over. They think they’re being a good person, but you need to have those boundaries because like at the end of the day, someone like this is gonna suck out your soul because they’re just like, I can get whatever I want with this person because they, they’re the nice guy, or they’re the nice woman, nice girl.

Um, I’m glad they like separated, but like I said, it’s hard like when they’re three kids together, um, to. Balance what that life looks like and it’s hard for the kids then to be shuffled back and forth. Um, ’cause she’s now presumably with this guy from work, maybe. Um, so that’s, oh my gosh, that’s, wow. Well thanks for sharing that.

And I wish the best to you and your brother and your whole family because that sounds like a whole rollercoaster to be thrown into. Um, only for it to end like that. Wild. Okay guys. I got a second story. We gotta, we gotta do a second story ’cause that wasn’t that long. All right, let’s get into it. All right.

Second Story: Missing Cousin + Bridesmaid Fallout

My husband and I got married in the middle of COVID on June tenth in 2021. At that point, we’d already been married together at that point. We’d already been together for seven years and had pushed our wedding date back an entire year because of the pandemic. I had a friend who had been my childhood best friend since we were eight years old, so of course I wanted her to be one of my bridesmaids.

During the planning process, a very close cousin of hers went missing. The entire family was searching for her. There were daily search parties, and my friend was spending a lot of time going out on her own to look for her cousin. Obviously, I cared deeply about the situation and completely understood that it took priority.

Because of that, I gave her extra time to go get her bridesmaid dress. However, our wedding was in June and the bridal shop told me that the, that March was the absolute latest month. Anyone could order their dress. They needed time for shipping and alterations. That’s pretty understandable. There usually is some kind of deadline no matter where you get a dress from.

I explained this to her and told her I completely understood that her cousin came first and that it was totally okay, but I also couldn’t keep pushing the dress deadline back. I gently suggested that if things were too overwhelming, she might want to, might want to consider not being a bridesmaid. I think that’s a very, um.

Mature conversation to have. Right? Obviously she’s going, the bridesmaid, the friend is going through a lot. I can’t even fathom what that’s like to have a missing person in your family, close friend, whatever that is. Um, I can’t even imagine, like, I literally just watched a show about a child missing and I was like, I, I wouldn’t even be able to go to bed.

Like, I’m sure it consumes you in ways that you can’t even imagine. Um, so that’s very challenging to be like, I love my friend over here who’s getting married. I wanna support her, but my cousin, like my, my cousin, takes priority. She got very upset with me and said she already had an appointment at the bridal shop later that week, and we’d be getting her dress for the bridesmaid dresses.

I gave everyone creative control. The only rule was that the dresses had to be burgundy. The style didn’t matter. Every other bridesmaid sent a picture of their dress in the group chat before buying it so no one had the same one so I could approve them. Her appointment day came and went. Then days passed, about four days later, I reached out and told her I couldn’t wait any longer and that I was really sorry, but I was going to have to move forward without her as a bridesmaid.

I mean, again, it’s a mature conversation. Sometimes people like. You have the people pleaser that’s like, okay, whatever. It’s fine. We’ll keep them in. Um, you know, doesn’t matter what they do. This story aside, you know, in generation in general, we hear a lot of stories where we have like a terrible bridesmaid or something and they’re just like, okay.

I just kept them in though because I didn’t wanna cause any drama. This is a respectful conversation. She said, Hey, I understand you’re going through a lot. Please don’t like, I understand that’s a priority. Please don’t feel like my wedding’s a priority. Like you can step down. It’s okay. No hard feelings.

Um, and then it sounds like she like was reassured. So it’s hard when, it sounds like multiple weeks passed, right? Because we’re saying, um, her appointment came in. Went okay. So she, later that week was her appointment, so it came in, went. Multiple days passed and then four days later, so we’re talking at least like a week and a half, and she hasn’t hear, heard anything.

So for me, maybe I give too many chances. I would be reaching out and saying like, Hey, do you need help with anything? How’s everything going? I probably would’ve reached out one more time. Again, I don’t know if she did or not, but I’m sure the bride is like, okay, we have to move forward. Like you need your dress and at this point the shop can’t even get your dress to the wedding in time.

She said she had already bought her dress, couldn’t return it, and went on about how unfair I was being. I told her, honestly, I had no idea she bought anything because she never said a word. Here’s the communication, or sent a picture like everyone else. I said, if she had already had the dress to send me a photo so I could see it, that made her even angrier.

So I’m thinking she probably doesn’t have the dress. I think she’s probably just saying that. We also have to understand it’s a really complicated situation. She’s probably like all like think about when you have like so many things going on, right? And then on top of that, her cousin’s missing, like I don’t know where they’re at in the process during this, but many sleepless nights.

I’m sure many calls with family members. She’s out searching, all doing all these things. So then she’s trying her best in all these different areas, right? And then this friend’s, like, you’re not in the wedding anymore. I can understand getting a little angry. I. I’m not saying she’s right or wrong, I’m just saying I could understand where you’re like, look, I’m trying my best, my cousin’s missing.

Like that’s again, I can’t even, like, I can’t even imagine what I would do or what, what that kind of does to your mental health. Right. Um,

she started cursing me out.. Calling me inconsiderate and a bad friend, even though I truly felt I had tried to be as understanding as possible. I explained again that everything was already booked and planned. I couldn’t postpone the wedding three months before the date. Yeah, I mean, you can’t postpone the wedding.

You’ve everything booked and paid for. I, I’m wondering if she’s. Somehow the bridesmaid was asking you to postpone it or just because she didn’t have the dress, you were like, I had to postpone it now. Um, ’cause I would, I wouldn’t go to that length. I reminded her, she’s still invited, still included in the photos, still seated with my family.

I genuinely didn’t understand why she was so furious. She cursed me out again, she didn’t attend the wedding. On top of that, she convinced on top of that, she convinced another bridesmaid to drop out of the wedding too. They’re now best friends and I haven’t spoken to either of them since. Was the cousin found?

I, I need to know this. This is, this is hard. This is really hard because like I said, it’s a complicated situation. I mean, I’m just thinking too, if like you had a death in the family or if there was, you know, another kind situation where that like takes a lot of their brain space, right? But at the end of the day too.

Things are still going on. You’re still getting married, everything’s still booked. You can’t push back the wedding date. You need your bridesmaid there already. I think there’s a lot of communication issue in this point. I’m sure your bridesmaid or ex bridesmaid’s hurting a lot. Um, she’s probably, like I said, sleepless nights helping family out.

But where do you draw the line? Right? Where you like, okay, I either need you, I don’t, can you be here or not? I think with someone like that. I would have said, okay, I’m glad you got your dress. And just trust them, because at the end of the day, you either have an extra person up there or you have one less person up there.

So I’d say like, okay, great. Glad you got your dress. You’ve got a lot on your plate. And then if she showed up that day, then you’d have her. If not, you wouldn’t have her. Um, and if she didn’t have the dress, then that’s her own, you know, her own problem. And then you can just take other pictures with her.

Just because of the situation, everything she’s going through. If it was someone else, like a bridesmaid being really nasty, um, out of nowhere and just being rude, then no. I would just be like, okay, you’re out of the wedding. Again, I’m not supporting her, cursing her out and calling her ins inconsiderate.

But again, I don’t know what that would do to someone’s mental health. Going through that and having a family member missing? I don’t know. We don’t know what happened. I don’t, there’s no closure here. So, um, it sucks when friendships fall out because of weddings. Um, but even more so stressful situations or life changes, um, can bring out people’s colors in different way.

Right. I don’t wanna say true colors because I’m not calling either of them bad people. Um. It’s just a challenging situation. Of course, I’m not calling either of bad people. I think, I think the cursing out was a bit much, I don’t think I would do that to a friend. Everyone handles situations differently.

Um, like, you know, during my wedding I had, uh, one of my bridesmaids had, um, a family, a family thing going on, and I was just like, you do what you have to do. I only care about you being at the wedding. And that’s why, that’s like, that’s the closest thing I can think of. Like, um, a couple serious things that happened and I was just like, if you can be there, that’s great.

If you can’t or you have to miss my bachelorette party, it’s okay. We’re still friends. At the end of all this, my wedding comes last. Your family, everything that’s going on with your family right now. Precedent. So that’s where I’m like, that’s how I think I would be in this situation. Um, but again, I was also a very like type B bridesmaid I or type B bride, I would say like, yes, everything on my part, on my side of things, I was like, okay, I planned out everything.

I was very organized. But when it came to like. Groom suits and dresses. I was very like, okay, groom suits, order this off this site. Done. Um, here’s the, we’re gifting you guys the shoes. Here’s that dresses. Pick whatever style you want. Pick the color out of the, these family colors, you know? Um, but I was like, but if someone just like had told me like.

I like this dress. It goes along with it. I probably would’ve been like, that’s fine. I, I wasn’t crazy about stuff like that. So, I don’t know. It’s, it’s hard in those situations when, um, there’s other, other issues are kind of coming up and people are dealing with other stuff. We have to remember that our wedding, other people’s lives don’t stop because of our wedding.

And, you know, we hear of like, pregnancy, other engagements moving. Um. But this is the first time we heard of something like this where someone was missing. So yeah, that’s what I have to say about that. You guys let me know what you guys think. If you go, um, just a reminder, all these episodes are posted on YouTube in full, so I always love to hear what you guys think about these stories because you gotta remember I read these first time as I react to them. So a lot of times you guys will call me out a couple times, not, not anything bad, but you guys will be like, oh, I think they meant this. And I’m like, you’re right. Because sometimes I’m reading it and I’m like, what does that mean? Because I’m reading it in real time. I’m thinking about this camera.

How’s this gonna sound? You know? So, um, lemme know what you guys would do in that situation. ’cause that’s, that’s a very complicated situation, for sure. 

Wedding Confessions: What Low-Key Ruined the Vibe

All right, let’s end with some confessions and then we’ll be, we’ll be on our way. Okay. Okay. For this week’s confession, we asked at your own or someone else’s wedding, what low key bothered you, but you pretended was fine.

Okay. I love this question. Here we go. All right. Wedding, I was in the guest ate dinner while the wedding party had hours of photos. What that would. Annoyed me so bad if I was in a wedding and they were like, you need to be in all these photos and not eat. I think one of the biggest issues, biggest issue, I don’t know.

One of the issues I see is when. The brides, the bride and groom or the couple getting married, always think that the bridesmaids and groomsmen are there to serve them. Um, I’ve been in some weddings like that. I’ve seen weddings like that where they, they’re like, oh, they’ll just do this. They’ll set up the whole venue.

They’ll, um, be in the pictures and then they’ll be on their way. And I’ve been in weddings where like I was treated like. So well, like one of my best friends, she had breakfast for us, a lunch for us. She had her like sweet, like anything you could want. She just wanted to take care of us. She was like, I don’t want you guys to lift a finger.

And that’s not to say like, you know, you have to pay more money for certain things. It’s just kinda looking at like how you’re treating people that are taking time off to be there for you to spend money for you. Um, so. That’s wrong in my opinion, what this person can invest, okay, this person says waiting two hours for the reception to start while they bar hopped with the wedding party.

Oh my gosh. So they pushed back the reception because the bride and groom weren’t back, is what I’m guessing. You would hope they would have cocktail hour with hors d’oeuvres. I’ve done a, I’ve been to a couple weddings where the cocktail hour is more like an hour and a half. I don’t know, maybe two sometimes.

But that’s when they have like little bites for everybody. That’s, again, you need to be treating your guests like, thank you so much for being here. They’re your guests. Let’s keep them fed, let’s keep them hydrated. Um, we can’t forget about them. Okay. The couple arrived late to the reception because they snuck off to the hotel room first.

I mean, I know the couple weddings where the couple like breaks off just to kinda like calm down. If it’s not stopping the wedding, I don’t mind it. Like if you guys are already getting fed and whatever, I don’t mind it. But if they’re holding, they’re waiting for them to do anything and you’re just like sitting around, then I think that’s a problem.

All right, last one. Because of the room, our table couldn’t see the whole dance floor. We were off to the side. That’s hard. Sometimes when it’s a really big wedding, there’s someone that’s shoved in the corner and that’s one of the reasons why I kept my invites to a lower number. ’cause they told me like, oh, if you invite this many, you’re gonna have a couple in the hall or like down a little bit.

And I was like, I don’t, I don’t like that. Um.

Okay. I was gonna see if I missed any good ones. You guys sent some good ones. The small venue because it was way too hot and everyone was dancing. Um, the couple disappearing for too long, for photos. I mean, you know, like, this is the thing you have to remember. It’s their wedding day. You are there as a guest if they go take photos for a long time.

They want these special photos for their wedding day. Again, if you are fed, if you, if there’s drinks, if there’s music, enjoy the time. It’s not like the couple’s gonna be sitting at the table with you anyway, so just let them do their thing with the, with the, um, photographer or whoever. All right. A relative’s partner invited their friend to meet them at my evening reception without asking.

That’s weird. That’s weird. Don’t meet anyone at your way. All right guys. That’s all. I have birthday this week. Thanks for hanging out with me again, if you love this podcast, share it with a friend, leave a review. It really helps more people hear the podcast and I can create some more fun content for you.

All right guys. That’s all I have this week, and I’ll see you next time. Bye now.

by Christa Innis

MOH Betrayal, Secrets Uncovered, & a Full Bridezilla Meltdown with Jubilee Dawn

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

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This bride didn’t want a friend, she wanted free labor.

This week’s listener submission delivers peak bridezilla chaos: free bridesmaid dresses turned into unpaid labor, public bridesmaid demotions, and a cold cutoff once the wedding was over. A painful reminder that pleasing people can invite the wrong kind of power.

This week, Christa sits down with Jubilee Dawn to unpack a story that cuts even deeper. A 17-year friendship that unraveled after a wedding alcohol “reimbursement” exposed money scams, blind loyalty, and manipulation buried for years. From betrayal to boundaries, this episode proves weddings don’t change people, they reveal them.

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Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • Maid of Honor Betrayal – A 17-year friendship collapses after a wedding alcohol “reimbursement” exposes manipulation and gaslighting.
  • The Receipt That Changed Everything – Credit card statements uncover a pattern of financial abuse far bigger than one wedding.
  • Forced Forgiveness & Gaslighting – Confrontation is met with defensiveness, religious pressure, and zero accountability.
  • Losing Half the Bridal Party – Setting boundaries reveals enablers unwilling to face the truth.
  • Bridezilla & Free Labor – A listener story exposes kindness exploited for unpaid dresses and wedding work.
  • Public Humiliation on Display – Bridesmaids are demoted, helpers yelled at, and friends treated like staff.
  • When Weddings Reveal Character – Weddings don’t create drama, they expose power, patterns, and priorities.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  • “ Weddings bring out  people’s true colors. How people are  people.” – Christa Innis
  • “Being sensitive doesn’t make you weak—it means you notice when something’s wrong.” – Christa Innis
  • “ I think learning to put up boundaries in a healthy way has been a big part of my healing.” – Jubilee Dawn
  • “You don’t owe anyone access to you just because you’ve known them a long time.” – Christa Innis
  • “Forgiveness without accountability isn’t healing, it’s just more harm.” – Jubilee Dawn
  • “Being a bridesmaid is not payment for free labor.” – Christa Innis
  • “If everyone’s ex is ‘crazy,’ maybe it’s not the exes.” – Christa Innis
  • “I spent years believing everyone was good. Healing taught me that boundaries matter more than optimism.” – Jubilee Dawn
  • “After 17 years, I realized I never actually knew her.” – Jubilee Dawn
  • “You’re not dramatic for noticing patterns, you’re paying attention.” – Christa Innis
  • “Walking away was the hardest and healthiest choice I’ve ever made.” – Jubilee Dawn
  • “Losing half my bridal party hurt, but losing my peace would’ve hurt more.” – Jubilee Dawn
  • “Being kind doesn’t mean being available for exploitation.” –Christa Innis

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

About Jubilee

Jubilee Dawn is a prominent content creator, advocate, and storyteller known for sharing raw, honest conversations about religious deconstruction, purity culture, and healing from toxic systems. Through her platforms on TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube, Jubilee opens up about personal experiences, survivor stories, and the complicated realities of setting boundaries, especially when it comes to relationships, faith, and family dynamics. She hosts two podcasts entitled “Healed-ish” and “The Overshare Hour”, where she blends vulnerability, humor, and hard truths to help others feel less alone and more empowered.

Follow Jubilee Dawn

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

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Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of, Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis, and starting off today, I wanna ask you guys a question just to set the scene, get the mood right. How would you feel if someone you had trusted, someone you had known for over 17 years and ask to be a part of your wedding day if you found out that they conned you?

How would you feel? Because that’s exactly what happened to today’s guest. I have Jubilee Dawn here and she’s gonna share her own wedding story of how her maid of honor, who she knew for over 17 years conned her on her wedding day. And it is just a very shocking story. Um, jaws were dropped many times. My, uh.

I just couldn’t, I couldn’t contain what I was feeling inside. Um, so I’m gonna allow her, allow her, I’m gonna have her tell her story. Um, starting off, we’re just gonna jump right into it because it is very drama filled, very shocking, and a lot of details you wanna pay attention to. Um, of course, in addition to that, we are gonna share some, uh, red flag, green flag kind of scenarios.

And then of course. A wild wedding story from one of my followers here. So we are gonna get into it today. Enjoy this very detailed, very shocking episode. Um, yeah, without further ado, enjoy this episode. Bye guys. Oh, take that part.

So without further ado, here’s that very wild episode. Enjoy.

Christa Innis: Hi Jubilee. Thank you so much for coming on.

Jubilee Dawn: Oh, thank you so much for having me.

Christa Innis: I’m so excited to have you on. I follow your content pretty regularly, and someone had sent me your wild. Maid of honor story. But before we get to that, I want you just to introduce yourself, talk about what you share on social media, all that good stuff, and then we’ll get into, uh, your wild story.

Jubilee Dawn: Yeah. I am Jubilee Dawn. I share on TikTok and Instagram, and I have two podcasts and I share a lot about religious deconstruction, so I talk a lot about purity culture. Crazy youth pastor stories. And then also I’ve done many story times about the maid of honor situations.

Christa Innis: Okay. I love it. Yeah.

Jubilee Dawn: All healing stuff.

Christa Innis: How do you, okay, so what are your two podcasts and how do you find the time to do two podcasts? I’m like, with one, I’m just like, oh my God. It’s, a lot of times

Jubilee Dawn: I honestly don’t even know how I’m doing it. I just went part-time, thank goodness. Um, at, ’cause I still have a job. Job Okay. On top of doing content.

But, uh, my podcast that I do like, my main podcast, I would say is Heel Dish, and that’s where I do any survivor stories. And yeah, I have an editor, so that helps for that one. And then my other podcast is the Overshare Hour. And on that one we do advice. So it’s an advice column podcast, and it’s with my best friend.

We both joined religious cults at the age of 17 and 18 and she actually married my brother and they are have since divorced, but her and I are still best friends, so Wow. Yeah, she’s also a content creator, so we have a lot of fun on that one as well. And then we like switch off editing those, but yes, I feel very busy.

Christa Innis: I love that. So were you guys friends before she married your brother or that kind of made you guys connect?

Jubilee Dawn: I knew her from youth group, so I met her when I was 14 and I think she was 15 and she started to date my brother, but we became friends through their relationship, so they were together for about 10 years and she is the mother to my two nieces.

So I mean, she’s family, she’s

Christa Innis: always involved. Yes. Yeah, she’ll always be there. I love that. I love when you like get connected, like through marriage, whether it works out or not, and then you just like find your person and you’re like your best friend, so that’s awesome that. You have that outlet too, to be able to like, give advice and share stories.

I love that you’re using your platform for that because it’s such an important thing to highlight. So many people have, um, stories of youth group or how, you know, they grew up, I guess you wanna say. But um, yeah, I think it’s really important.

Jubilee Dawn: Thank you. Yeah, I’m always shocked by the stories, so that’s like one of the main things I do is just read stories and, uh, they’re wild.

So that’s why I love what you do here too. I’m obsessed with wild stories

Christa Innis: and I feel like we can relate. It’s funny because people will comment on these stories that I share on YouTube and you know, of course, like there’s no way to triple check, like if everything’s a hundred percent true, right? It’s through the eyes of the person that sent it to me.

But I’ll get comments sometimes when people are like, there’s no way this can be real. This sounds made up. This is, and I’m like. These maybe, maybe part is exaggerated, we don’t really know. But the fact of the matter is these things happen and we, if we don’t allow people to share their stories, then it, it creates a space, like an unsafe space.

So I feel like opening the doors up to be like, Hey, this happened to me. And it allows other people to share their stories, to relate or be like, wow, that was really weird because someone did that to me too, and now I can stand up for myself. And I think it’s, there’s so much power in storytelling.

Jubilee Dawn: No, absolutely.

And I get comments like that too, where people will be like, there’s no way these stories are real. And I’m like, well go to the comments and see the five other people that said that the exact same thing happened in their, uh, church or wherever they grew up. I mean, no, it’s real for sure. Yes. Crazy things do happen.

The Maid of Honor You Thought You Knew

Christa Innis: It’s so wild. So jumping into wild stories, you, and this is like the first time I think I saw your content was when you were talking about your maid of honor conned you at your own wedding, which is just shocking in that sentence alone. Um, so let’s just dive in. What happened, and I’ll probably just ask questions along the way.

’cause this is just shocking for many people to like, comprehend.

Jubilee Dawn: Yeah. I, I feel like a lot of questions that people have when I say that is, oh, she must have been someone new in your life. ’cause you know, sometimes you hit it off with somebody and you ask them to be in your wedding after like a year, you know, uh, that was not the case.

So I was actually close with her for 17 years and 15. Wow. Yeah. So we became best friends when I was 12 and she was 19. Uh, which is weird in hindsight, but. At the time, I just thought I was mature for my age and, uh, basically we’re connected. I try to be vague because, uh, I just try to be vague about how I know her, but yes.

Yeah. Um, yeah, I knew her for 17 years. She was always my best friend. I am divorced, so I also got divorced because of a Walt Disney World Burger. That’s like another crazy story

Christa Innis: because of a Walt Disney burger.

Jubilee Dawn: Yes. My, my ex got, he was very abusive and okay. He got very mad when I shared a bite of my burger with my cousin at Disney World.

Um, and I didn’t even give him the burger to buy it. I took a fork and gave him a bite of it, and my ex said that that was disrespectful to him as the man at the table. Um, it was so crazy. Was this the

Christa Innis: first red flag or the final red flag?

Jubilee Dawn: The final red flag. And thankfully I think it made me. Address the situation for the first time because family members witnessed it and he ended up threatening to strain me in Florida and it was like a huge fight in the middle of Disney World.

Like those viral videos that you see of people fighting in Disney, it’s like so cringey. That was absolutely the case. Oh my god. Um, so yeah, after he was abusive, after that I finally ended up leaving. So this best friend who I call Crystal, she was my maid of honor for that wedding as well. So I just really didn’t think that there was anything I needed to be worried about with her.

Obviously after 17 years you really think you know someone, but mm-hmm. Um, all that to say on the wedding day, there was a situation where her husband had said, I want to be the bartender for the wedding. Uh, he said, this will be our gift to you. I really want to bartend, because he was like a very big drinker and he was always.

Making drinks. And um, it was also gonna be at a family member’s house. So it’s not like we were at a venue, it was at my grandma’s house.

Christa Innis: Right.

Jubilee Dawn: So as the night is going on, he had told me how much alcohol to buy and it seemed like the right amount of alcohol. I mean, I bought a lot of wine, a lot of tequila, and it wasn’t a huge wedding, it was maybe 80 people.

Mm-hmm. So throughout the night, my maid of honor crystal ended up coming up to me and she was like, Hey, this is, I’m so sorry, but we are running out of alcohol. There is no more alcohol left and um, I can send my husband to go get some more. And I was like, oh, well, um, yeah, definitely like go and do that.

Thank you so much. I so appreciate that you guys are willing to go and do that. Because it was on New Year’s Eve too. I wasn’t even sure what would be open. Right. You know? Um, so yeah, I told them that I would reimburse them for whatever they spent on this alcohol. So he came back, he had all of the alcohol and it was great.

Like, I had a great time on the wedding day and I didn’t know that anything weird had happened. Mm-hmm. 

The Wedding Alcohol Scam

Jubilee Dawn: So the next day it, it, we are at the airport on the way to our honeymoon, and I get this text from her and she said, Hey, I just wanted to let you know you owe us $373. I think it was, and I, that surprised me that it was that much because I knew I had bought so much alcohol, uh, for this wedding.

But I was like, okay, sure. Um, I don’t know. What do you think about this, like texting the day after the wedding? Like I feel like personally I wouldn’t have

Christa Innis: no, like, that’s like, Hey, send me the

Jubilee Dawn: money.

Christa Innis: Yes. That’s like their time. Like I feel like I wouldn’t bother the couple right after the wedding.

Jubilee Dawn: Right. I know.

And I’m like very good about paying people back. So, I mean, I probably would’ve texted her on my own, but I. I think if it was just that it wouldn’t have mattered. But given everything I know, I feel like that was odd. So I ended up ven mowing her husband, the money, we went on our honeymoon. It was great.

And when I came back I was working for a family business and one of the things that my family had delegated to me was just to pay this family member who had dementia pay their mortgage. So, um, on top of that I was also supposed to somewhat look at the credit card statements just to make sure the balance didn’t get too high.

Mm-hmm. I wasn’t told to look through it or verify purchases or anything like that. They just said make sure that it doesn’t get too high to the, the credit limit. Mm-hmm. So I’m going through it and I noticed that the balance seemed kind of high that month. I was like, okay, well let me look at what is on here.

So as I’m looking over this family member’s Bill, I see that there was an alcohol charge on our wedding day for $373, and that is the exact amount that I had paid my maid of honor. And I was like, wait, that doesn’t make any sense because I reimbursed her husband. But it looks like, I mean, there’s like my family member with dementia, they do not drive, they did not go buy this alcohol themselves.

Right. Obviously someone took their card. Mm-hmm. And people would often use this person’s card to go pick up their groceries and stuff like that. So it would not be without like outside of the realm of possibility that Crystal or her husband would have known where the card was to find this card. Mm-hmm.

Because there was just a lot of trust in these circles that people would do the right thing. Yeah. Like,

Christa Innis: here, take my card and get groceries or, yeah.

Jubilee Dawn: Yeah, exactly. Because I mean, they were relying on people to take care of them and pay their bills, and we all kind of had our own responsibilities. So mine was the mortgage and that, but all sorts of people were helping with their care.

So I was really confused about that. And I ended up going and speaking with another family member, the one who had tasked me with going through the sheet. And that is when he noticed, he ended up going through their checkbook, the family members who has dementia’s checkbook, and seeing that a check was written the day after the wedding for $500.

And in the memo line it said wedding alcohol.

Christa Innis: So there’s another check,

Jubilee Dawn: another check, oh, for wedding alcohol. And I’m like, wait, what? Why? Why would they have? And it was to my maid of honors husband. It was

Christa Innis: directly to him?

Jubilee Dawn: Yes.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Did they know, sorry if this is a jump in the gun, but did they know this couple that you managed or like looked at this person’s money?

They, so they kind of, they didn’t think you would ever see it?

Jubilee Dawn: I don’t think that they knew that I was getting the statements. No. I think they knew that I helped a bit with the family. Like I would coordinate the, um, lawnmower to go out there and, you know, take care of their home. But I don’t think that they knew that I had access to these statements and then they definitely didn’t know that I would go and talk to another family member and be able to see that this check was written to Crystal’s husband.

Christa Innis: And what was their connection? Crystal and her husband to this family member? Anything or just they just knew them through you?

Jubilee Dawn: I try to be vague.

Christa Innis: Okay.

Jubilee Dawn: Um, yeah. But you can put two and two together.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yes. Okay.

Jubilee Dawn: Mm-hmm. So, um, yeah, so I was kind of very confused at that point because I did not know how else to see it because I, it very much seemed like they had gotten reimbursed for something that they didn’t pay for.

Mm-hmm. So I ended up texting her and I said, Hey, um, this is what I found. Can you help me understand what this is? Mm-hmm. And she ended up freaking out. She like, started blowing up my phone. How dare you after everything I have done for you, after everything I have done for this wedding, um, like, how dare you question me, essentially.

And, uh, like, you think we need money. We don’t need money. You think that we care enough about $300 to do something like this? And. I kept asking, but you’re not explaining. Yeah. Why are you so defensive? You’re very defensive and you’re also not explaining how that happened. Um, so it was just this big blow up fight and then all of a sudden I get a Venmo from her husband and he sent me $500 over Venmo.

Christa Innis: Oh. So he took it because if you’re not guilty, you’re not gonna send it back.

Jubilee Dawn: Yeah. He, which I’m like, I never even gave him the 500, but I think he was just trying to make a point. So he ended up sending it and was like, uh, here, here’s this money. How dare you? You’re horrible. And he was just very mad that I would dare question them.

So at that point I was just fuming and I don’t want their money at this point ’cause I’m like, Ugh, this is just gross. I don’t understand what’s going on. So I Venmo him the $500 back and then I blocked him on Venmo so that he wouldn’t keep sending me money. Um, they did end up paying me back a little bit later on, which I’ll get to, but.

Um, yeah, I was very confused by that and I started to talk to other family members to see what they thought and some people who were closer to her were kind of defensive and they didn’t wanna see and they didn’t wanna hear about it. And that was strange to me that they were not interested in looking at the facts.

’cause I, I said if you guys have another way to see it, let me know because I just don’t know how else to take this other than it seems like they kind of scammed to get money. And one thing that she did say was that he had used some of his personal alcohol on the wedding day. Um, I never asked them to do that though, ever.

Right. So basically he said, well, I used some of my personal alcohol and that’s why she gave me $500. So

Christa Innis: a lot of alcohol to like, yeah.

Jubilee Dawn: Yeah. And there there was only maybe 80 people there. A a lot of people, it was a New Year’s Eve wedding. A lot of people didn’t stay till midnight. And a lot of my family members don’t drink.

And also, there were a lot of children at this wedding, so it’s not like we were dealing with a ton of heavy, like 80 heavy drinkers. That’s not what the situation was. So, um, later on I ended up finding that there were over 15 bottles of unopened wine, which is insane. Um, at my family member’s house, it was in the, the pantry.

And I, I don’t know. ’cause she had told me that we had run out of alcohol. So I said, Hey, we didn’t even run out of alcohol. Why, why did you send people off? And she said, well, people didn’t want that alcohol. Um, and I kind of get that, but I also feel like we’re not rich. And I do think that sometimes at weddings, you know, you see people, they’ll just have red wine, white wine and beer and there was tons of beer and wine leftover.

So it’s almost like, well we just, in theory, I don’t even know if this is true, we ran out of tequila and then he wanted to go buy $370 worth of other alcohol. Um, I wish they would’ve asked me and said, Hey, we only have wine left. Do you want us to go get more liquor or should we just tell the guests that there’s wine and beer?

Um, right. But anyway, I mean, it wouldn’t have mattered that much if it wasn’t for the scam. Yeah. So it’s like they

Christa Innis: wanted you to reimburse them for money. They put on someone else’s credit card in addition to another $500. So we’re talking over $1,100 Now if I’m doing the quick math Right. ’cause everything was added up and they didn’t actually pay out of pocket for anything.

Jubilee Dawn: Yeah, exactly. They didn’t pay out of pocket for anything. So this whole thing blew up. And then this is when things got really crazy. Um, one of the family members who worked at the business who found the $500 payment, I was just in shock and wheeling and didn’t know how to handle this and was kind of just wondering.

A Pattern Buried for Years

I mean, this is my best friend in theory and this is my wedding day. I can’t imagine that she would do this. And that is when he decided to let me in on the fact that this was not the first time that something like this had happened with Crystal.

Christa Innis: Oh.

Jubilee Dawn: And it had gotten buried. So basically there was a time where I was living in Atlanta with my ex, and I was not around the family during the time that this all blew up.

But basically Crystal had been living with this family member with dementia. And she had been taking care of her along with her husband, and they were living in the house. But my, my, uh, family members, they were very wealthy, you know, so it’s not like they were suffering, you know, they’re living in this giant mansion, rent free and taking care of them, which really just meant, I don’t know, bringing them take out sometimes.

You know, I, it wasn’t that hard of a job. And apparently during a span of three, maybe three to four years, they had spent, um, around 300 to $400,000 of my family members’ money. I know. And it, it’s absolute insanity. And okay. To this day, when I confronted Crystal about all of this, she says, well, they wanted me to spend it.

They, they wanted me to spend this money. They told me to go buy whatever I wanted, and absolutely not. There’s no way. On top of that, she had drained every single one of their bank accounts. So my, my family member had had a good amount of money and it, I mean, crystal absolutely knew what she was doing because she would take every account to zero and then we have record that the checks were bouncing and then she would switch to the next account.

What? And to the next account. And during this time she was going on extravagant trips. Um, they were, yeah, going on cruises. They were going to DC doing whale watching. He was getting new tires on his car. They even used my family member’s card to pay around $7,000 in taxes to the IRS.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh.

Jubilee Dawn: I know.

And the thing that I’m like, this is nail in the coffin. The same day that they put those taxes on the card, they also got a, um, in. A check for almost the exact same amount from the family member. Uh, so they got paid for it twice and mm-hmm. I guarantee what happened was Crystal went to this person and said, oh, we owe this money.

I’m so stressed, would you please pay it? And so not only did she kind of like manipulate somebody who has dementia, she ended up actually putting it on the card and then taking the check and making money off of that. Um, that’s wild. Yeah, it was horrible. So the, the reason I didn’t find out about this was there was a huge blowup where it, it caused a lot of drift in the family at the time.

And when I was in Atlanta, I received this call from Crystal and she was crying and I mean, this is my best friend, you know, and you, you feel like you always want to have your best friend’s back, so mm-hmm. She called me crying saying, I’m being accused of stealing. And I didn’t do this. And they’re, they just see that a lot of money has been spent, but they don’t realize that the reason that the credit card is so high is because I’m paying all of the bills.

I’m paying the energy bill, I’m paying the mortgage, I’m doing all of this. This is why the bill seems so high, but nobody wants to listen to me. Mm-hmm. Um, and they just are want to misunderstand me. And she also said, and I did spend a little too much at Dillard’s one day. She said. She said, but you know how this family member is, they’ll tell you to go get anything you want sometimes.

And I just spent too much one day at the mall. Um, but she had told me that I could. And honestly, that kind of tracked my family member was like that. She was very giving. There would be times where before school would start, she would give me her card and say, I want you to go get at least $500 worth of school clothes.

You know, and she was just a very giving person. But that is very different than three to $400,000. Um,

Christa Innis: yeah. I can’t even comprehend that.

Jubilee Dawn: No, I’m like, that’s, that’s an outrageous amount of money. And I mean, it was honestly just crazy spending. It was daily Starbucks, uh, they had so many subscription, like chewy boxes.

They had clothing subscriptions, uh, getting mailed to them. Yeah. They were also getting a maid service get sent to their personal house. They eventually moved out and a maid was coming and cleaning their house on my family member’s card. Um, and they eventually moved to Baltimore for her husband’s work.

And while they were even living in a different state, they were still using her card and living off of her.

Christa Innis: So it was just like a matter of like, yeah, maybe a couple times. This family member, family member was like, yeah, you can use this to buy the car. Like, use my card for whatever. But then it started taking advantage of it and like really just like taking it for whatever they needed and.

Lying, esp knowing that this person has dementia. Like, oh, they’re, they’re not gonna realize they’re not gonna look at this and then completely blowing up in their face.

Jubilee Dawn: Absolutely. And the reason that it finally ever came out was, uh, somebody had, or my family member, her husband had asked, can you look into our money?

I feel like people keep telling us we’re broke. People keep telling us we need to be careful with our money, but we don’t leave the house. Why, why are we broke? So finally somebody looked into it and then they uncovered all of this theft and there was an hour long conversation that we actually have recorded.

That’s why I feel so safe talking about it too, is we have my family members recorded saying we never gave her permission to, to spend like that. We thought that she was only spending for us. We didn’t understand that she was spending like this on the card. So, um, yeah, realizing that I had been lied to that entire time.

I think because I was in, in Atlanta, people just didn’t wanna get involved and tell me, in hindsight, I wish people had told me, I had no idea that it was that bad. I was under the impression that, oh no, she went on a shopping spree and people are mad, but nobody told me, Hey, that’s not true. Actually, she stole a lot of money and mm-hmm Um, it ended up coming out okay.

Going back to the wedding. She also pulled another con on my bachelorette, so it’s so ridiculous. Like it’s just a pattern of behavior. So there was another situation where we went to Hell, the Moon, which is this really fun piano bar with Bachelorette and it’s always super packed and it’s hard to get a table on the weekends.

So we wanted to reserve two tables and I think it was around $260. Mm-hmm. And it was gonna be split between five girls. So my maid of honor Crystal had sent out a text saying, here is. How much it’s gonna cost if everybody can Venmo me. I think it was around $56. Everybody Venmo me $56, uh, for your portion of this.

And then once I found the wedding alcohol scam, I started going back to all these other statements and I saw that that was also on the card and that she had never paid for the hell at the moon. So she’s

Christa Innis: trying to make money off of it. Yeah. But she didn’t pay herself and she

Jubilee Dawn: did, she, she made money off of all of my friends and family because, uh, we, we sent her money for that and she pocketed it.

So, um, it was just a pattern of behavior. So then we started looking into it even more and found out that not only had she done that all those years before, but she was still doing it now, not to the same degree. Wow. Because she had been caught before. So I think she was trying to be a bit more careful, but there were so many times where.

For example, there was one where it was like zoo reimbursement and the receipts added up to $300 and she got a $400 check in reimbursement. So trying to get like little

Christa Innis: increments to like cover it up. Yes. And they were

Jubilee Dawn: buying gift cards that I, I went full investigator mode at this point. This was my entire personality for about six months because I was like, this is my friendship on the line.

Yes. I wanna know what type of person this is. So I, I, yeah. Went full investigator. I ended up going to Walmart. I went to Target, I went to Lowe’s, and I asked for receipts because I could see how much was being spent, but I didn’t know what was being spent. Mm-hmm. And when I did that, I found that they were buying Visa gift cards.

So it was a way for them to get cash and it looked like a legitimate purchase for groceries and it wasn’t so. They, they came up with all sorts of creative ways to scam pretty much.

Christa Innis: That is wild. I feel like someone like that is always looking at, at opportunities to like con or make money off of people.

Like as soon as you said the bachelorette thing, I was like, I’ve heard similar stories where people not quite like that where they have someone else’s card, but it’s like maybe they, um, it wasn’t as much as they said. It was like maybe it was only 30 a person, but they’re charging everyone 50 a person.

They’re like, oh, well they’re putting in tip and all this stuff. And that’s why it’s so hard to like trust people. And I’m sure that’s why you kind of then racked your brain and you’re like, wait, this is someone that’s been in my life for so long. What else have they lied about? Like, I feel like you probably would just go through all these memories and being like, okay, what can I trust with them?

Jubilee Dawn: I know, absolutely. That is what it was like. And honestly, the more I looked into it, like there, there’s so much more, and it’s darker, you know, um, that I did discover things about her that she had lied about for years and years. And yeah, just realizing I never knew her was really quite crazy. And she was just very defensive.

Losing Half the Bridal Party

Jubilee Dawn: She refused to apologize and I went to therapy. I wrote her, you know, ’cause at the time I was still a pretty strong Christian and I was trying to really believe in forgiveness. So I was like, okay, I’m gonna write her this letter with my therapist and I’m going to say, Hey, I could forgive you if you admitted all of this.

Like, maybe you feel backed into a corner. Maybe you feel ashamed, maybe you feel all of these things. So I wrote her a letter and I said, you know, the only way I could ever move forward because I am the godmother to her son too. I mean, it’s, wow. It’s very sad, you know? I would need you to admit all of these things and actually apologize for it and stop making excuses.

And she wrote back this very gas lighty letter saying, well, it’s not my fault that I was her favorite.

Christa Innis: Oh my God. It

Jubilee Dawn: was crazy. And it was like, oh, well you just don’t understand her like I do. And I’m like, I do actually. I, I do. So, yeah. Um, that’s, and we have her on tape saying that she had no idea, never AAL along with her husband who didn’t have dementia as severely as she did, you know?

Mm-hmm. So, um, yeah, it was crazy. So at that point we had to cut ties

Christa Innis: and it’s way different than like the, it’s all bad, but it’s like way different than like someone, you know, giving the, the, um. The credit card and she going to buy some stuff and sneak some stuff in for herself or whatever. But then also blatantly lying and trying to double up on that and being like, you owe me this for the, you know, so it’s like to never admit that.

’cause that’s, that was gonna be my next question is did she ever actually admit to like being wrong or doing something or she just in denial that she’s innocent?

Jubilee Dawn: Yeah, she basically said, well, she wanted me to have these things. And she also, she acts very, uh, I don’t know if you’ve ever met someone like this who acts kind of childlike.

They like kind of play dumb, like, oh my gosh. So she, she would just say, I’m just so bad with money. I’m so bad with money. And you know, I think when I knew that that was not true and I absolutely knew that she was being diabolical, was when I saw that every single bank account had been drained. Um, you know, ’cause she had kind of claimed, well, I just thought that they were super rich.

I, I thought that they were okay with me having this and that they wanted to spoil me. Um, but we know that that’s not the truth because every bank account was going to zero. And actually before they moved to Baltimore, they specifically drained every single account before their move. So that was the final account that got drained and it was timed to the week that they moved So, so calculated, obviously you knew what you were doing.

And then when they moved to Baltimore, they were still using, um, their income that would still come in, you know, for themselves. Wow. But yeah, no, she never, she never apologized for, for that. Just saying, you know, I’m sorry, I’m bad with money. I, I’m,

Christa Innis: yeah.

Jubilee Dawn: I’m like, I don’t think that’s good enough.

Christa Innis: You’re well into your thirties, I’m assuming, or something, you know, four, maybe forties.

But at that point, it’s like you can’t just use that as an excuse. You have to be able to own up to that. Like you can’t, you’re not like 15 years old or in elementary school, you know, whatever, where you’re like, oh, I really don’t understand how money works or how credit cards work. It’s like, no, take responsibility.

You know what you are doing.

 

Jubilee Dawn: Yeah. But I think a lot of it came down to the fact that there were so many enablers around her, because I lost, and that was what went viral in my post, was the fact that I lost half of my bridal party in this situation because they were closely connected to her and they didn’t even wanna hear it.

I said, you know, I have binders of evidence. I will break down for you every single thing. And if you look at this binder and you look at this evidence and you tell me that she did nothing wrong. We’ll agree to disagree, but they wouldn’t even look at it. They said, I’m not, I’m not interested in seeing what you have.

Christa Innis: That’s wild.

Jubilee Dawn: I know. And just be curious. Line loyalty, uh, was so crazy. And that’s when I started to realize that a lot of people had been profiting off of these family members for years. And it, it’s actually, this is a very depressing, I mean, it, it’s sad that it ended this way, but both of them have since passed.

Weddings and Funerals Reveal Everything

Jubilee Dawn: And, um, right before she passed away, they actually tried to get a fake will signed.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. They’re ruthless.

Jubilee Dawn: Ruthless. And it was a collaborative effort. It wasn’t just my maid of honor crystal, it was these other people who were in my bridal party. They all knew about it and they’re

Christa Innis: helping.

Jubilee Dawn: Yeah. I mean, yeah, it was, it was crazy.

And in this will, you know, they had written an original Will about 20 years ago, uh, because they have businesses and it’s a big deal, you know, and they had spent time with lawyers. This will was, oh my gosh, huge. Mm-hmm. Super thick. Will, uh, very detailed. And these people, and Crystal tried to go and find a will off of Google.

Like it looked so fake. And it was a couple pages long and it gave them the house and it gave them, I think, an extra $500,000. And they had her sign it when she was, so at that point, they actually had her sign

Christa Innis: it.

Jubilee Dawn: They did, they brought a notary to the house, like, and were there lawyers,

Christa Innis: like, no, this is bs. This isn’t a real thing.

Jubilee Dawn: I mean, they did have a notary go out there and do all that, but they thought about that in court. The, the siblings, you know, they thought about that in court and it got thrown out. The judge was like, that’s not a legitimate will, especially when we know she had dementia. And especially when we have a very legitimate, thick will over here that they obviously put a lot of time into.

Mm-hmm. And for you to have them sign it, you know, it, it was pretty much, you know, they really didn’t fight to have their will verified either. They kind of realized, okay, we tried, it didn’t work, nobody’s buying it. And yeah, they dropped it. But it just shows that so many people we’re willing to take advantage of these people.

And, um, yeah, so that’s how I lost half of my bridal party. That is so, um, including the person who married us, which was very sad. One of our groomsmen actually performed the wedding because he was my best friend and, uh. We don’t talk to him. So we have all of these wedding pictures and now half of these people I don’t even talk to anymore.

Christa Innis: That is crazy. So it’s like, it’s crazy to start off by like, the maid of honor did this and, but it’s, the other people are so easily convinced. ’cause it’s like, did she promise them money too? Did she promise all these things? So they’re like, they’re like, oh, what are you talking about? She’s great. I’m not even gonna like look at the evidence or the facts.

I feel like I’d have such a hard time, like trusting after that. You know, it’s like all these people that you’ve like, have memories with, you have relationships with and then they just like lie. And we always talk about on here, like how like, you know, the focus is like wedding stories and stuff like that.

But when you talked about how they had since passed, we talk about how weddings bring out, you know, people’s true colors. How people are people. The stress gets to people. People power over, like others, you know. But so do funerals. Death brings out the true colors in a lot of people too, because they see it as dollar signs or What am I gonna get from this person?

I think it’s so sad when fights happen at like funerals because it’s like, all they care about is what does, what did this person leave me? And it’s like, that’s not what we should be focusing on right now. But someone like that, that’s the first thing that comes to their mind.

Jubilee Dawn: Absolutely. And I mean, there were so many times this made me so upset.

Crystal would say, um, she told me that she wanted me to have the house. And I’m like, you’re not her child. I, you know, like, that’s so inappropriate. I don’t know why you think you’re, you’re owed this. But she really felt like she was owed all of their money. And she would say things to me like in hindsight, I think I was.

You know, that’s some of the darker stuff, but I was groomed by her. But there are things that she would say growing up that I start to realize were not okay. Where she would say, you know, I’ve realized if you spend time with this family member, they give you more money. She straight up said that to me when I was younger and I, I understand that that is her personality to, to do that.

So it was very hard going to the funeral. I agree that weddings and funerals really bring out that in people. I had to sit in the front row and watch her give a eulogy for this person

Christa Innis: knowing all this.

Jubilee Dawn: Yeah. We both gave eulogies and I had to sit there and you know, at this point, okay, well half of the people here are defending ’cause they’re also profiting and I just have to sit here and respect my family member’s funeral and.

Try to avoid this person as much as possible, but my hope is to never see her again. That, yeah,

Christa Innis: that was probably the last kind of event that you had to both be at, right? Hopefully.

Jubilee Dawn: Yeah. Yeah. We live in the same city though, so I get scared. I mean, when I go to Barnes and Noble or when I go to places where we all lived on the same side of town, so it doesn’t feel outrageous that I might run into some of them at some point.

And it does give me a lot of anxiety.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah.

Jubilee Dawn: Because they’re not happy that I’ve shared on social media,

Christa Innis: I’m sure, because people like that wanna live in their, like delusions that it’s what they did isn’t wrong. Like they, and they’ll convince themselves till the day they die that they’re not wrong.

They, they deserve what they did. And um, it’s like you said, like they, they make up stories. They’re like, I deserve this house. They told me I deserve the house. And they’re gonna keep telling themselves that. ’cause that’s what’s gonna make them feel good about it.

Jubilee Dawn: And I’m like, she might believe it. I don’t know.

She’s so delusional. I, I don’t know. I don’t know what she really thinks, but it’s, it’s definitely wild.

Christa Innis: Wow. That that is one of the top

Jubilee Dawn: wild

Christa Innis: stories I have heard on here. Oh my gosh. Thanks for sharing that. Oh my gosh, that’s, that’s, yeah. Wild. It’s a

Jubilee Dawn: lot for sure.

Religious Manipulation & Forced Forgiveness

Christa Innis: Well, I’m glad to hear too that you’ve like gone to like therapy from it and like hopefully have like healed from some part of that.

I’m sure that’s like a lot because I can’t imagine like someone treating me like that, that you had so closely in your life. Um, and so I’m, I think talking about it too and sharing your story, I’m sure has helped many people relate and connect as well.

Jubilee Dawn: It has because. I think hearing so many of their excuses and them not even wanting to look at it, you feel like you’re going crazy.

I felt like I was being so gaslit like, you guys, this is insane. This is a lot of money. This is not okay. And sharing on TikTok and seeing people defend or I don’t know, back me up and say, no, you’re not crazy. That is wild. And um, there was like a lot of religious manipulation as well from them saying that I should just forgive and move on without her even like apologizing or admitting what she did.

Like we, we just need to move on. Jesus would not want us to fight, you know? Which, um, it’s just crazy, you know? Uh, the fact that they would like to use that. And I have nothing against Christians in Jesus. I actually don’t share what I believe personally, if anyone was wondering. Um, but. I don’t know. It was just crazy to see religion kind of weaponized in that way.

So it is nice going on social media and people telling me, Hey, that’s actually okay, that you never want to see her again. That is valid.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I feel like that’s, that people pleaser mentality too. Like, um, I, not to get like too deep, but like I, I grew up going to the Catholic church and stuff, and this, again, not shaming the Catholic church or anything, but, um, I grew up such a people pleaser because it was like, you want, like, you just have to forgive everybody no matter how they treat you.

Like, and, and it was like, you could never just be like, Nope, cut that person out. No. Like, they didn’t mean it that way. And so I would always try to see the good in every person. And I still, I believe in seeing the good in people, but there are just some people that are inherently like not good and we shouldn’t waste our time trying to.

Build them up when they’re just gonna be like, bad to us. You know what I mean? Like, I know I kind of said that kind of weird, but, um, no, I, I feel like so much of my like childhood was like, no, they’re good. They did this and this and this to me, but like, they’re still a good person. It’s like, no, you don’t have to like believe that.

Jubilee Dawn: No, there are bad people. I think growing up I always thought that too. I just thought everybody is a good person. Everybody’s doing their best. Sometimes people make mistakes and unfortunately I feel like the older I get, I realize, you know, there are wonderful people in this world. Most people are good people, I hope.

Um, but there definitely are people who just don’t care. They, they just really do not care. And nothing brings that out more than social media. Uh, seeing comments and stuff. I’m like, wow, there are some just crazy people in this world who, they just wanna hurt people. And I think learning to put up boundaries in a healthy way has been a big part of my healing.

Red Flag, Green Flag

Christa Innis: Yeah. I love that. That’s, that’s, um, boundaries has been huge. We talk about that a lot, a lot here. Okay. Let’s, let’s get into, um, I do have a story submission. Are we still okay on time? I know we’re going a little, yeah, yeah. Okay, cool. Um, sorry, I’m like losing my voice.

Jubilee Dawn: No, you’re good.

Christa Innis: Okay. Um, this is better than a couple weeks ago.

I like actually lost my voice and by the end of like recording a podcast with someone, I was like, I’m so sorry. I was like, straining my voice, so this is way better than that. Of course. Now I’m like, it’s gone. Okay. Hopefully.

Jubilee Dawn: No, I totally get it. I recorded, um, 10 and a half hours of podcast stuff in the last like six days.

I’m so tired. Oh my gosh. Because I think I was trying to prep because we’re going out of town for the cruise and then my interviews went three hours long with three different people. Um, like three hours each. And I was like, I’m so tired, girl. How do you do that? No. I was like, this is great. This is a short, a short podcast.

I love it. ’cause most of mine are like an hour and a half to three hours.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. I, I used to be able to like, listen to like longer podcasts and then like, I was like, I love being able to chat a long time, but now I’m just like, I, I can’t, I can’t squeeze it, squeeze it in. But I love that. Totally fair.

Okay, so before we get to this week’s follower submission, we’re gonna do a little, um, red flag, green flag. So I’m gonna read a statement, this is wedding party edition. And just say if it’s a red flag or a green flag. Okay. Ask if they can bring a plus one you’ve never met.

Jubilee Dawn: Ooh. Um, oh no. I’m gonna be like a yellow flag.

I think it depends on your relationship. I, I think if this was my best friend. I would probably say maybe we could have a game night in advance. That way you could meet them, you know, especially if you feel like it’s gonna be a long-term relationship. But I guess in theory, a red flag if you’re just a casual family member or a distant friend.

Yeah. I don’t think you should bring us one. Yeah. Or insist on it. Yeah.

Christa Innis: And I feel like I’ve always heard too, like I, I agree with the relationship thing ’cause you kind of know like how close you’re with someone. I’ve always heard like not to ask for one. ’cause like, I remember being invited to weddings like young, like early twenties, where like I wasn’t dating anybody and I didn’t get a plus one.

I never would’ve been like, Hey, can I bring a plus one? You know? And then other times I would be going to a wedding, not expecting one. I would get one. I was like, okay, I’ll ask a friend or something, you know? So, um, makes passive aggressive comments about the bachelorette cost.

Jubilee Dawn: Ooh. Red flag. Red flag. I, I think if you have issues with the cost or if you genuinely can’t afford it, there are ways to have like healthy communication as far as like, Hey, I’m actually broke.

Can I pick some of these activities? And not all of them, unless you know, somebody’s willing to help with the cost. But passive aggressive comments definitely a red flag.

Christa Innis: Yes. Let’s just communicate. Um, tries to change the vibe of the bachelorette weekend.

Jubilee Dawn: Ooh, red flag. Yeah. I think you have to go with what the bride wants, you know, whatever their vibe is.

There was that guy who pulled the con with the, uh, the wedding alcohol. He was at the Bachelorette. We did a joint one, and he ended up like doing this weird drinking game where he took a deck of cards and he would say, do you think it’s gonna be a red or a black card? And then we would do it and he’d say, wrong drink.

It was so weird, like the. We’re not, those kind of people we’re not like, take a shot kind of people. And he was trying to change the vibe and we were very uncomfortable. So red flag,

Christa Innis: you’re like immediate red flag. Yeah.

Jubilee Dawn: I was like, this game isn’t even fun.

Christa Innis: Um, post wedding details before the couple does.

Jubilee Dawn: Ooh. Red flag. That is for the couple.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I just read a story where the, um, bride’s boss announced that they were, the girl was engaged before the, before the girl did and started like inviting herself to the wedding. I was like, I can’t wait to meet this

Jubilee Dawn: very presumptuous for like a coworker or boss to think that they’re invited because I don’t think I invited any of my coworkers to my wedding.

I do mind you, I have my own like office, so we don’t work that closely. I probably would if we, you know, work. I

Christa Innis: think it depends on the, on the job for sure. Because when, yeah, when I got married, like my husband I think only invited one person from his work because he at the time was a general manager of a restaurant.

And so like, he’s like, we have way too many people, some I never work with, some I work with, you know, different industry or different areas. So he only invited one. And then I worked in a small office where we were like all close knit like family. And so I invited like 20 with their plus ones. But yeah, I think it really just depends on your job and you should never feel like you are gonna automatically be invited to a coworker’s wedding.

’cause just depends on your relationship.

Jubilee Dawn: And micro weddings are a thing, you know, I feel like weddings are getting smaller and smaller because we’re all broke, you know? Um, yeah. So I would never assume that I’m being invited, even if we’re like decent friends, you know? Yes. Because who know?

Christa Innis: Yeah. And I, I feel like that’s one thing, like in my early twenties, again, when I wasn’t dating anyone seriously, that I did not understand, like, like I had friends that would just get like married with just family.

And I was like, I don’t, what? I don’t get it. Like, ’cause every wedding I’d been to were like these big weddings or like, a lot of people invited and you almost were like, you can’t take it personal ’cause you’re just like, no, like, like my one friend that did it. Like she was just never wanted to be like, all eyes on me.

Please do not, I just wanna get married and be on with it. And I was like, okay. That, looking back, I’m like, that makes sense. Um, it’s her personality. Yes. Um, Mrs. The, the rehearsal, but shows up hungover on the wedding day.

Jubilee Dawn: Oh, red flag. That’s so mean. Yeah. I, I, I would understand if you had something going on, but if you were out partying instead of going to the rehearsal.

That’s not nice. And honestly, the rehearsal is such a beautiful time. ’cause a lot of the time that’s when they do the toast. It’s very heartfelt. And I would feel very sad if anybody in my bridal party missed my rehearsal. Yeah. If they didn’t have a reason.

Christa Innis: Right. Yeah. I think we had a couple that couldn’t, let’s see, I think we had a couple that couldn’t make the rehearsal because of like, one just had a new baby and then one’s flight was like delayed.

But other than that, yeah. I think most everyone came. And I just tell people too, I’m like, it’s not the end all be all, like if something came up. But yeah, you always try to be there. Um, every turns, every group chat convo back to themselves.

Jubilee Dawn: Ooh, red flag. I’ve known people like this where it just goes back to them.

It’s like you, you try so hard to involve everybody in like, let’s talk about this person now. And it’s like, no. It just somehow gets turned back into like their life or their drama 24 7.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yes. All right. Let’s see. Last one, um, says, I’m just being honest before being rude.

Jubilee Dawn: No, I hate that so much. Red flag.

That is not an excuse for, that reminds me of, uh, Taylor Swift, casually cruel in the name of being honest, you know? Yes. Not, okay.

Christa Innis: It’s that or the, I was just joking after saying something.

Jubilee Dawn: You’re so sensitive. Oh my goodness. Ugh. Gosh,

Christa Innis: I, that was probably like one of the most common things I’ve heard to me growing up.

You’re just sensitive. You’re so sensitive

Jubilee Dawn: to be fair. I am so,

Christa Innis: no, I’m like, but yeah. Then you learn later. You’re like, I’m proud of being sensitive. I’m, I’m, I’m path, I’m in tune with my doctors.

Jubilee Dawn: I would like to think I’m a good person because I’m very sensitive.

Christa Innis: Yes. I know. I’m like, why were we taught that?

It was like. A bad thing to be like emotional or sad. I feel like that’s just like one of those like patriarchal things where it’s like, where it’s like, oh, don’t show your emotions. Like you need to hide it. Don’t cry, don’t do this. So whenever like if my daughter like who’s almost three, like when she shows emotion, I’m like, it’s okay.

Be sad. Are you frustrated? Are you angry? Do you need space? Like trying to be that like overly like I think that’s one thing you feel your inner

Jubilee Dawn: child.

Christa Innis: Yes. I think that’s one thing. Millennial parents are like doing better than like the generation, again, not critiquing the previous one, but I feel like it was very just like, we always try to like improve the previous generation and I feel like we were told a lot like, don’t cry, don’t be emotional.

And I always try to like hide my tears if I was upset and I’m like, no, you own that emotion. It’s a fi, it’s fine. Let’s name it.

Jubilee Dawn: I know I was such an emotional kid. Um. I don’t even know why I was so emotional, but, uh, I think when I was in first grade, my teacher actually came up to me and said, I’m going to make a calendar and mark every day that you cry and show it to your mom.

Oh my God. To be fair, I was a very emotional kid. Um, but I was like, oh, okay. Don’t cry anymore. You know, or else she’s gonna go tell my mom.

Christa Innis: Was she saying it like in a mean way or like

Jubilee Dawn: Yes. Yes. In a mean way. Like, I’m gonna mark it down. Just to be fair, I was bullied because I had an afro when I was a kid and the kids used to call me cotton ball.

They were so mean. Kids are, they are ruthless. Yeah. But it’s okay. I forget that they were children, but, oh

Christa Innis: my gosh. I had a kid one time. Um. Tell someone that I looked like a chipmunk because of my big front teeth. Oh my gosh. No. But I was so proud of myself. ’cause looking back, so like in elementary, I was really shy and this was in high school and I was friends with a girl that was like cooler than me.

Like she was like, she was like friends with everybody. And I was just like, I was like, oh my gosh, I’m friends with her because I was like really like shy and she was talking to these boys and this boy said it to her, like something about like chipmunk. And she came and told me and I go, you think I look like a chipmunk?

And I like called him out and then he was embarrassed, so I was like, yeah, so don’t do that.

Jubilee Dawn: Good for you. That’s like the epitome of what an odd thing to say.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. What a weird thing to say out loud.

Jubilee Dawn: Yeah. Repeat it.

Listener Submission: The Bridezilla Who Used Her Friends

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. Okay, let’s get into this week’s, uh, follower submission. So these are real stories people send me, so let’s just react as we go.

  1. Okay. I met the bride through mutual friends, the kind of friendly magnetic girl who seemed to pull people into her orbit. She was newly engaged, excited, and quickly invited me to be in her inner circle. Her fiance and their two best guy friends, Matt and Bill, before long were all hanging out constantly.

Somehow, without realizing it, I became the person she relied on the most. She knew I sewed and weddings are expensive, so when she admitted she was stressed about her budget, I offered to make her bridesmaid dresses for free. I genuinely wanted to help. This is like the, the case of the people pleaser with the per like, like the, I don’t know what you would call the other person.

Like the energy, like vampires.

Jubilee Dawn: Thicker. Yes. Oh my gosh. That’s so much work. I can’t even imagine.

Christa Innis: I can’t even imagine making one, let alone however many bridesmaids she had

Jubilee Dawn: and tailoring all of those. To the bridesmaids. Wow. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. She must have brought it up a lot in front of this girl to be like, okay, I’ll make ’em, I’ll make all these dresses.

Jubilee Dawn: Oh, you so, oh, well, I’m having the hardest time. Yes. What am I gonna do? You know, which, I mean, hey, that’s kind of how Crystal was. Crystal was the type of person where she would like, um, the, going back to like the, the theft and everything, she would say, well, she would offer, and it’s like, yeah, she has dementia and if you go up to her and say, oh my gosh, I have no money, I have no, whatever.

You know, it was very much that type of situation where if you go and like whine about your problems, like loud enough, then obviously her being like a good Christian woman, she was going to offer to give you,

Christa Innis: right. There’s those kinds of people that. That’s how they were raised is like, you help someone in need.

Right? And so like, then there’s the people that take advantage of those people. ’cause they’re like, oh, they’re not gonna tell me no. Like, yeah. Ugh.

Jubilee Dawn: I’ll have a convenient breakdown around the person who has something I want.

Christa Innis: Uhhuh. Oh yeah, she, um, okay. So then within days the warning signs started popping up.

Her aunt who had flown in from overseas suddenly decided she wanted to take over making the dresses, despite not knowing how to sew properly, shocked to absolutely no one, the dresses fell apart. How did that work? Like if the one girl’s like, I’m gonna sell these dresses, and the, and it’s like, jk, like, I’m gonna do it like.

Jubilee Dawn: It’s like, why would you volunteer for that? To me, that sounds like a nightmare. If I found out that somebody else was handling that, I’d be like, thank you for doing that. I don’t wanna do that. Like

Christa Innis: a control thing or something. But I’d also as a bride be like, no, my friend’s got it. Like, she knows what she’s doing.

Yeah. Oh, this is weird. Um, the bride came back to me in tears begging me to fix everything, and then came the kicker she said as a payment for making all the dresses. She’d make me a bridesmaid. Wait, she wasn’t even a bridesmaid at this point

Jubilee Dawn: because people are dying to be bridesmaids. Okay. I don’t know like that.

That’s the thing.

Christa Innis: I thought this whole time she was a bridesmaid.

Jubilee Dawn: I know. To do all of that work and not even be a bridesmaid.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Wow. I

Jubilee Dawn: feel like when you accept being a bridesmaid, you understand that you’re gonna get delegated something, a couple tasks, you know, or something like that. But to do all of that when she hasn’t known her that long.

Yeah. She’s an owner that looks all the bridesmaid. That’s like not even something I would ever be able to do. I, I would rather help pay Yeah. For the bridesmaids dresses than to make them myself. Oh,

Christa Innis: a hundred percent. You, yeah. You don’t want me making a bridesmaid dress. That thing would fall apart. Also, like the whole thing is kinda odd to me.

I mean, there’s, I’m, there’s more, but, um, the, like anyone that says as payment, you can be a bridesmaid is in my mind, already gonna be a bridezilla because they think it’s an honor to be a bridesmaid. And yes, like close friends of mine would say, you know, like, oh, I would love to be by yourself. Of course, like if that mutual relationship.

But if someone says it as like a gift, like you’re, I’m doing you a favor to be a bridesmaid in my royal wedding, that just says red flag to me.

Jubilee Dawn: Yeah. And it also implies that your relationship was not good enough in the first place for you to be a bridesmaid. And you’re getting this as. Payment. Like I don’t understand how that’s supposed to feel good.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Jubilee Dawn: Feels bad to me.

Christa Innis: Right. It’s like you can’t even pay her for the cost of the fabric. She’s getting her time. Like, I don’t know. That’s, yeah. Horrible. I told her that meant she, okay. I told her that meant she’d have to pick only one of her guides guy friends to be a groomsman, which I thought wasn’t fair, but she shrugged and said, I don’t know why that would be, but, um, she shrugged and said, oh, that’s fine.

I never wanted Matt in the wedding anyway. So you have to say yes. I should have run then, God, I should have run a few weeks later. She wouldn’t stop complaining about not having a venue for her bridal shower. She knew my parents lived on a one acre property and she dropped a hint after Hint after hint until I was uncomfortable.

I feel like I see a lot of similarities with the person that, you know, I just feel like trying to take advantage of somebody to get what they want.

Jubilee Dawn: No, that’s so uncomfortable. Like it, it sounds like she made her the bridesmaid so that she could get all this stuff from her. Mm-hmm. Honestly, you know. Okay.

Going back to Crystal. I mean, she, I wish I had picked up on it sooner, but she would often have friends for about a year or two, and then they would have a falling out and it was always, oh, she was crazy or, okay. I, I can’t believe I didn’t even get into how crazy Crystal was. Okay. She would also say that, um, everybody was in love with her.

She used to be very careful about like being around men because any man would cheat on their wife with her. Oh

Christa Innis: my gosh. She

Jubilee Dawn: also said that if she just tried, she would be able to be a Peloton instructor, which, uh, okay. Um, and then she was like, I would, I’ll be a little,

Christa Innis: a little D as d Lulu as Crystal.

Jubilee Dawn: I think we can, yeah, she would say, um, I would try out for American Idol, but I would win, you know, uh, so, but, and I don’t wanna be famous, you know, so she was just a very high sense of self and I think like growing up with her, after knowing somebody like that, since you’re 12 years old, you just kind of think that that’s normal.

And I honestly think that’s why I ended up with my crazy narcissistic ex was I was so used to grandiose, odd behavior, um, from people around me that it just, like, he was the same. He thought he was gonna own Disney. It’s a whole thing. Um. All of that to say like, these people, oh my gosh, they’re, they know how to get their way.

You know?

Christa Innis: Yeah. And it’s like, it’s that same kind of mentality of like, here’s this like week. She sees her as week over here. If I can make her a bridesmaid, make her feel included, she’ll gimme all the things I want for my day. And just seeing her as a dollar sign or seeing her as an opportunity. And you see that with like weddings and, and just friendships in general.

I’ve seen where it’s like, you know, they, they use you for when they, what they need you for, and then they move along to the next person and Oh, absolutely. And what you said too about Crystal saying like, all these friendships, oh, they were crazy. Same goes for like, if you ever meet a guy and all their exes were crazy, probably not the exes just saying

Jubilee Dawn: Absolutely.

My ex said the same thing. He told me his ex was absolutely insane. And when we got divorced, I mean this was just. I did a series, uh, did I marry a psychopath on TikTok? And throughout the series I ended up reaching out to his ex and I found out the true story and he was horrible to her and was abusive to her.

So like these people, they will lie. So, oh, that’s why I brought up Crystal saying that like her friendships would only last a year or two. I’m wondering if this bride is realizing that none of her friends are like coming through or if they’re helping her and she’s needing to recruit people to help her.

Yes, because I mean, she might not be that nice and maybe her friends don’t wanna help. They’re all and everybody else is fed up, but you’re new, so

Christa Innis: Yes,

Jubilee Dawn: she’s gonna try.

Christa Innis: They’re in the honeymoon friend stage where everything’s perfect and she’s great. Um. She said, I finally, finally offered to ask my parents, and they being lovely, said yes.

She was elated and even told me, you’re welcome to invite your family to the party at their own house. Can you imagine saying that to somebody?

Jubilee Dawn: Your, your parents, out of the goodness of my heart, don’t have to flee their home. Yeah. That’s crazy. That’s horrible. That is. That’s insane behavior. Bridezilla.

Christa Innis: Yeah. See, and that would give me a red flag right off the bat. But like, I, I don’t know. Just in general, I’d be like, no. Like, something’s up.

Jubilee Dawn: It’s like you’re in so deep at this point.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, that should tell you everything you need to know about her. The night before the shower, I was supposed to finish the dresses instead.

She and half the wedding party spent the night at my house decorating the yard. I didn’t sew a single stitch, and somehow she yelled at me for not finishing the dresses. I’d be like, do ’em yourself. Bye.

Jubilee Dawn: What? She’s your servant. This is so atrocious. This is, um, cut off the French. I assume that that’s where the story is going, but I hope

Christa Innis: so.

Jubilee Dawn: Wow. The audacity

Christa Innis: wild. The next day she forced Matt and Bill to act as waiters at her bridal shower, which was weird. Then in front of the entire room, she made an announcement. She was changing her maid of honor. Her sister was now her maid of honor. Her childhood best friend Sarah, who had already been asked, was moved to the very end of the bridesmaid lineup.

She’s doing this in public, in front of everybody. One that’s terrible. Two, I think the whole bridesmaid lineup thing is weird to be like, okay, you’re number four now. Like I just, I did mine by like height or how long I knew them for, like, I was not, like, I felt

Jubilee Dawn: very uncomfortable trying to line people up.

Luckily, a lot of my brides. Like my bridesmaids were family. So I felt kind of okay putting the family first, you know, because I thought my other friends would understand. But it is awkward trying to be like, it’s, and you here and sorry, or No,

Christa Innis: I feel like I ultimately went by like how long I knew them.

’cause like my maid of honor was first, then I had my sister, a cousin, and then yeah, it was like, and then I of course had my like husband, like sister-in-laws and you know, like towards the end just ’cause of like length of time plus like, we just wanted to like them to like walk with like their partner or their husband and yeah.

Yeah. I, but I have heard of that where people are like, okay, well I’m closer. I’m her best friend. Or I don’t know. That’s just, that’s to

Jubilee Dawn: demote somebody who was the maid of honor that’s so evil.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And publicly like.

Jubilee Dawn: Did I miss? Why do we know? Why?

Christa Innis: See, she didn’t say it yet.

Jubilee Dawn: Okay. She goes,

Christa Innis: and I, I was bumped to girl number three, so she’s like, basically like ranking them literally in front of them.

So Maid of honor moved to number four, I’m guessing number four. She just says at the end of the lineup. And then the girl that wrote in was bumped to girl number three. So weird.

Jubilee Dawn: Oh, so strange.

Christa Innis: I watched Sarah’s face fall. She held it together until later when she called me sobbing. I listened, comforted her and texted her afterwards.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. If things get too stressful, you can always talk to me. Harmless, supportive, kind. This is gonna backfire. I just know it except the bride somehow ended up with Sarah’s phone and saw my text message. She called me screaming of accusing me, of trying to steal her friend, demanding to know whose side I was on, saying she needed to reevaluate whether she even wanted me in the wedding.

I would be like, bye.

Jubilee Dawn: No. I mean, what am I getting out of this dynamic right now? Yeah. Like nothing at this point. This is so toxic. This feels like it’s, this is some Regina George stuff. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yes. Oh my gosh. Totally. I was like, this does sound familiar. It’s, it’s Regina George. You’re always on highway. It’s like, I’m always on your left.

Well now you’re on my last nerve. Get my, you know, whatever.

Jubilee Dawn: Yes. It’s like the calls, like the three-way calls where you’re trying to trick each other. It, that is so toxic.

Christa Innis: Oh my god. We should have changed the names to like mean girl names. Perfect. It really is. Oh my gosh, that’s wild. Um, unfortunately for me, she decided to keep me and even more unfortunately, I said yes.

On the big day, she transformed into a full diva, rude to everyone snapping at vendors, insulting bridesmaids. This is like, so this girl knew how to turn on the switch of like, I’m so fun. I’m your new friend, let’s hang out. Like I’m awesome. And then I feel like people like that can just,

Jubilee Dawn: yeah,

Christa Innis: flip.

Jubilee Dawn: I’m like transformed into a diva.

I feel like she’s been a diva, but I guess just turned up a ton. Like

Christa Innis: didn’t hide it anymore or even try to, yeah. Oh

Jubilee Dawn: my gosh, this groom. Can you imagine being married to this woman? I can’t.

Christa Innis: I always wonder like, ’cause I feel like we don’t hear about the grooms a lot in these stories unless it’s like focused on them.

So either, they usually either take the backseat, like they’re really like quiet or just like whatever their door thing. Or I wonder if they’re just as like terrible and they’re just like part of it. But I don’t know,

Jubilee Dawn: maybe.

Christa Innis: Um, her mother then informed us that we had to pay for our own hair and makeup, even though I had made all the dresses for free.

Um, after the ceremony, her gown ripped, guess who had to get down on her hands and knees and sew it? Me.

Jubilee Dawn: She should make the wedding dress right.

Christa Innis: Right. No, as far as I know. Oh,

Jubilee Dawn: gosh.

Christa Innis: And like I get like having, like, like most weddings I’ve been a part of, like, there’s hair and makeup there, and if you want it done, you pay for it.

But I feel like as the bride, if I knew my maid of honor or like a bridesmaid made all the dresses, I’d be like, let me pay for this. Let me, you know, how can I pay you? But it sounds like this woman just treats her as like a servant. Horrible. After, um, okay. Her sisters-in-law yelled at me to hurry up because I was holding up the reception.

It’s not her fault. The dress ripped. Holy cow. Be like,

Jubilee Dawn: fine. Go out there. Have fun. Yeah, go do

Christa Innis: it. Yeah. If you can do it faster, you go ahead. Like, my God. By the time evening fell, Sarah and I ended up locked in the bridal room crying in her speech. The bride didn’t mention Sarah at all, and all she said about me was she made the bridesmaid dresses.

I don’t know why the bridesmaids are in the speech, but, or what the speech is, but interesting. Yeah. Um, after the wedding, the invites to hang out, the invites to hang out with the group became fewer then non-existent. One night I literally ran into all of them out together without me. I’d be like, good.

When I finally confronted her, she screamed, I’m not married to you. I don’t have to invite you to anything. This lady, woman, like so evil. She knew what she was doing. She got what she wanted out of her, and that was dresses. That was it. Uh, she said, and that was it. Friendship. Over months later, I heard she ended up doing the same thing to Matt and Bill.

I have no idea if she and Sarah ever recovered their friendship but me. I walked away and honestly, that was the best decision I ever made.

Jubilee Dawn: Oh my gosh, what a blip in your life. I’m like, what a horrible, I cannot imagine like being around somebody who treats people like such dirt and the fact that nobody stood up to her or really said like, I feel like there is this vibe with weddings where the bride can just do whatever she wants because it’s her wedding.

But I feel like at a point I would like to think that people in my life or I would’ve. Stood up to this person because Yes, that is insane. You can’t treat people like that.

Christa Innis: Well, and the fact that the mom seemed to have like some attitude too on the wedding day sounds like that’s where she gets it from the entitlement.

But yeah, I just never get that. Like, it’s my day. Like it’s all about me. Like I just don’t get that. Like, I was just telling someone, I’m like, like for my wedding morning, I made sure my bridesmaids were taken care of. Like I had breakfast for them, mimosas. Like, I remember running around making sure like they were good.

Like, what do you need? Because I was like, I if, if you’re not here with like, I just want you here with me and I want you to enjoy yourself. Um, but I’ve definitely seen both sides of it where it’s like people, like there’s brides that wanna take care of their wedding party and there’s brides that are like, it’s my day.

You just, you just stand by my side.

Jubilee Dawn: Yes.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. That’s why they’re

Jubilee Dawn: pretty much props. I mean, she was a prop and a way to get. Dresses, which, I mean, those are so, like, that is so much work, you know, and it’s, it’s not even how much are bridesmaids dresses, like maybe 150 or however much, you know, on top of that, it’s handmade, you know?

So it’s worth so much more than that, you know, because of all of the hard work and the hours that she put in.

Christa Innis: Yeah. That

Jubilee Dawn: is, ugh. So toxic, so glad that she does not talk to her anymore.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I think I’d be the most mad about making the dresses, because I think if I were like a bridesmaid for a wedding where this happened, I would just look back and laugh at it.

I’d be like, that was wild. Okay, moving on. But the fact that she spent so much time and like really thought this person was like a friend of hers, she let her parents lent the house, you know, to them that’s just Got it. Yeah.

Jubilee Dawn: It’s like she was trying to find ways to cut costs.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Because

Jubilee Dawn: also, how do you not know where your bridal shower’s gonna be?

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Jubilee Dawn: Like leading up to it. You know what I mean? Like it feels like she was scoping out locations pretty much. Mm-hmm. How can I get somebody to gift this to me?

Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s like she had something planned somewhere else and then it was like she messed up that relationship or something.

Jubilee Dawn: Right. I wouldn’t be someone else.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Jubilee Dawn: I feel like this so often though, where friendships don’t make it past the wedding or friendships just fizzle out. I was in, um, yeah, so I was in that religious cult. It was not just Christianity, it was called Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry. It was super weird. People Okay. Thought they could raise people from the dead and it was like, oh, pro prophecy.

It was insanity. But I met a girl there and she invited me to be in her wedding and it was like I hadn’t seen her in person in over a year. We had gone back to our home states. We were not close. We would talk once every four months. I mean, we were not close, but I really feel like she just needed somebody else.

On her side. Mm-hmm. Um, so I literally flew to Utah and I, I went and I was in her wedding and during that time I ended up getting engaged to my ex. And I felt like I had to ask her to be in mine because I was in hers, but I didn’t view her as a friend, but I was in her wedding and we were engaged at the same time.

So it kind of felt like, well, I can’t be her bridesmaid and she not be in my wedding. So we literally were in each other’s weddings and we have never seen each other again. Like, like it’s so, it’s so random, you know, there’s no bad blood. She still follows me on social media, but it’s like we, I mean, it was very strange and there was really no reason to be in each other’s weddings.

Christa Innis: That is so funny. That is really like common, I feel like where you, where if like you’re in someone’s wedding, you feel like you have to ask them to be in yours. Yeah. Um. I know, like my husband and I had those talks like before getting married because we were, we were like considered like the wedding couple for so long.

’cause we were, we were both in so many weddings. I think we were each in like 10 weddings or something. And we both had that discussion about like, okay, should we have this person because we were in their wedding and vice versa. And the end of the day I was just like, I’m gonna have who I want on my side.

But again, like if I, I think if I would’ve gotten married like in my early twenties or something, I think it would’ve been way different. I think I would’ve been like, yes, yes. Include everybody have this person or, or if he’s having his friend, I should probably have his like wife or girlfriend in it or partner.

But like, at the end of the day, it’s just like, no, people understand. Yeah. But yeah, it’s, it’s awkward when you feel like obligated to like have someone in your wedding that you’re not that close with. I definitely feel like I’ve been asked to be in weddings where. And I’ve said yes. And then I’m like, later I’m like, was I just asked because of blank reason without giving away too much?

But, and I’m like, I just asked because of something. And then I’m like, I don’t know. Maybe I shouldn’t have said yes. But I don’t know, because I love, I love being a part of weddings. I find stuff to do. I’m very handy. I always offer to help. And so I feel like that’s seen, you know? Yeah.

Jubilee Dawn: I’m like, I’m a good bridesmaid.

I’m I’m a good one. You know, I put in work, so I mean, yeah. I get that.

Christa Innis: Yeah, for sure. Awesome. Well that was a wild story. I always like to end these with, um, confessions that people send me on Instagram. So I’ll just read a couple of those and then we go, okay, these are our biggest wedding regrets people sent me.

Okay. Our photographer, he had a digital camera, but acted like he only had film, took forever to get pictures, and he missed so many. We wanted because he took forever to set up. Um, each shot ended up, oh, he would set up a shot, take forever for a shot and ended up taking only one photo each time. So frustrating.

I’d say time and time again. Your photographer is like one of the most important vendors. If you have a bad photographer, ugh. It just, it could ruin it.

Jubilee Dawn: I know. I’m like, to me, that is one of the most important things. I’m so thankful. I had, um, a friend who I had done photo shoots with out in Atlanta, and I actually flew her out and she gave us such a, a deal on it, but she’s a wedding photographer, so thankfully she was incredible.

But it’s like once you find a good photographer, stick with them. Just yes. Keep using them, you know?

Christa Innis: Yes. Don’t say don’t just like, agree to have someone, be it because they’re giving it to you for free or something, or, I’ve seen a lot of those too. It’s just go with your gut. For sure. Um, let’s see. Um, making my sister-in-law, my matron of honor years later, she said she never even liked me.

Jubilee Dawn: Oh, ow. That would really hurt me.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah, that’s, yeah. Um, hiring the hairdresser I did, she made, she made me an hour and a half late for my own wedding.

Jubilee Dawn: Oh, that’s another one that is super important. I, I got my hairdresser. Yeah. I, I probably should have done more research on my hairdresser. I did a trial with her and it was okay.

And then on the wedding day, my hair looked completely different. And I had even, yeah, the back of it looked totally different. Like the way that it had was pinned and all of it. Um, so I showed she had to redo it, you know, and I kid you not, I looked like snooky, like I had a bump and I was horrified because that was not there in the original trial.

And I was like, I’m gonna walk down and look like so insane and not like myself. Yes. Literally. And I also look like a, a southern beauty queen a little bit. It was very weird vibes and thankfully they fixed it, but I was for sure panicking on my wedding day.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. I’ve definitely been a part of a lot of weddings where like, they just hired someone, like they didn’t do like the trial.

And when the person comes in, it’s just like, there was one wedding where I was in and I said no to hair and makeup. I was like, I’ll just do it myself. I was glad I did because everyone ended up washing off their makeup because it was like someone that had like, hardly any experience and like everyone’s hair kept falling off and their eyelashes were falling off and I had just done them myself and I’m no professional.

I’m like not great at makeup, but I just like, I don’t know, I just was like, I don’t wanna spend a lot of money. And um, everyone’s like, eyelashes were falling off. They’re like, it was not making it to the wedding at all. So it’s hard sometimes. You don’t know what you’re gonna get until wedding day. But yeah,

Jubilee Dawn: I prefer, especially my hair, I prefer to do it myself.

’cause I have like such thick, curly hair that Yeah. Uh, they botch it most of the time.

Christa Innis: Yes. Oh my gosh. Wow. Well thank you so much for coming on. It was so great chatting with you and sharing your story and just. Diving through this wedding drama.

Jubilee Dawn: Yeah. Thank you so much for having me. This was so much fun.

It was like such a happier topic than what I’m used to,

Christa Innis: you know? Yes. Um, well for everyone listening, can you again share where they can find more of your content, anything fun you’re working on and, um, anything else that’s coming up?

Jubilee Dawn: Yeah. I am at Jubilee Dawn on TikTok and on Instagram. I also have a YouTube and my two podcasts are Heald Dish and the Overshare Hour.

Christa Innis: Awesome. Well, thanks again for coming on.

Jubilee Dawn: All right. Thank you.

by Christa Innis

Am I the Bridezilla? Drama at a Funeral and Reception Interrogations

“Am I still the most important woman in your life?”

In this week’s jaw-dropping submission, I dive into a bride’s story of boundary-crossing chaos that exploded during wedding week, from hospital drama and rehearsal dinner meltdowns to ceremony-day tantrums and reception sabotage. This MIL is all about being the “most important woman” in her son’s life, and trust me, it’s WILD.

I react in real time, call out the red flags, and give my unfiltered advice on how to protect your peace and set boundaries.

Plus, don’t forget to enter the anniversary giveaway! Subscribe to the HCTD podcast and YouTube channel, drop a comment saying “entered” on this episode, and you could win. Buckle up, this one’s a long ride.

Here are the winners from the last giveaway:
@charlynestyles
@itsjhonagurl
@partisgoingsomewhere
@alliyahdennisse

JOIN ME IN GREECE OCTOBER 2026!

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

Get the book!

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • Anniversary Giveaway Celebration – I kick things off by celebrating one year of Here Comes The Drama and share how you can enter to win gift cards.
  • “Am I Being a Bridezilla?” Dilemma – A bride reached out asking if she was being controlling as her bridesmaids pushed back on dresses, budgets, and bachelorette party expectations. I break it all down.
  • Bachelorette Budget Blowups – Money tension flares when expectations weren’t clearly communicated. I weigh in on fairness, financial boundaries, and how to handle these sticky situations.
  • Hair & Makeup Control Debate – I get real about when it’s reasonable to set appearance guidelines for your bridal party… and when it’s straight-up micromanaging.
  • Mother-in-Law Wedding Horror Story – A jaw-dropping submission shows years of boundary violations that spiral into full-blown chaos during wedding week.
  • The “Most Important Woman” Moment – At a funeral lunch, the MIL asks the groom if she’s still the most important woman in his life. I break down why this is a huge red flag and how to handle it.
  • Wedding Day Meltdowns – From rehearsal dinner drama to groom suite invasions and family photo hijacking, I walk through the wedding-day disasters and what could’ve been done differently.
  • Boundary Advice & Protecting Your Peace – I close the episode with actionable advice on standing up for your partner, setting limits with toxic relatives, and keeping your emotional well-being front and center.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  • “When you agree to be a bridesmaid, you’re agreeing to the bride’s vision.” 
  • “Communication would’ve saved about 80% of this wedding stress.” 
  • “Your wedding gifts are gifts — not emotional leverage.” 
  • “You don’t get unlimited access to someone’s life just because you share DNA.”
  • “If someone is competing with their child’s spouse, that’s not love, that’s control.” 
  • “Protecting your peace is more important than keeping toxic people comfortable.”
  • “Your wedding is not the place for someone else’s emotional meltdown.” 
  • “Being family doesn’t excuse toxic behavior.” 

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of, Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis. Thanks for being here. If it’s your first time, welcome, you are in for a drama filled episode as always,

But this week we have two long stories because we have our regular follower submission at the very end. But in the beginning we have a wedding dilemma and typically those are shorter segments where people just wanna get some quick advice for something that’s going on right now with their wedding planning or event planning.

But this one’s a little bit longer, but I decided it was a good podcast story to take on. you guys will see why, but I thought it was a good one to discuss on here. Before we dive into that, our new year giveaway has ended. So we did a new year giveaway, just to give back to you guys.

I’m excited for what’s to come this year with the podcast. so the names of our four winners have been announced on social media and then there’ll also be in our show notes below. So make sure you check down below. If you shared the podcast in any way to enter, you might be one of the winners.

Anniversary Giveaway Celebration

Now don’t worry if you missed the giveaway. If you didn’t enter or you didn’t win because we currently have our anniversary giveaway going on. that was kind of bad planning on my part, but maybe it’s good planning ’cause there’s extra winners now. So one winner will get a $150 Visa gift card, and two listeners will win a $25 Amazon gift card.

And to enter, just make sure you’re subscribed to the podcast, subscribe to my YouTube channel, and then comment, enter on this video, for the episode. So if you guys aren’t aware, all of our podcast episodes are also put on YouTube in full video. and if you just comment below, enter just needs to be in your, comment at some point so you can say, Hey, I love the color purple, my favorite food spaghetti.

That bride was crazy. And then just put entered at some point. winners will be announced on March 12th, and we will reach out to you directly, and kind of let you know the next steps to claim your prize. And of course, just to cover all my bases, I just wanna say the giveaway is not affiliated with or sponsored by YouTube, apple Podcast, Spotify, Amazon, or this is just purely outta the kindness of my heart.

No, but, just a way to give back to you guys. We’ve had an amazing year of episodes and I just can’t believe it’s already been the first year. I’m just blown away by your support and your excitement. and it just makes my day. So thank you guys so much for being here with me and listening to the episode.

Today I am drinking coffee out of my wicked mug. If you guys don’t know, if you don’t follow me on socials or see my stories on Instagram, I think I update stories a little bit more on Instagram, but you’ll see me post about my mugs. my husband got me this for Christmas this year. It’s so cute. If you’re watching the video, you can see it, but it’s like wicked.

It’s alpha on one side and Glenda on the other as I splash. Coffee in my eye. Yeah. Um, okay. Anyway, if I’m not waking up by drinking this coffee, it’ll surely wake me up by splashing it in my eye. Anyway, that was interesting. 

Wedding Dilemma Begins: “Am I Being a Bridezilla?”

Okay, let’s get into the episode. Um, okay. We’re gonna start with the wedding dilemma and the title of it.

If this doesn’t pull you in, I don’t know what will is. Am I being a bridezilla? So I thought this was interesting. I have not read through the whole thing. I did a quick little glance and I was like, Ooh, this is a podcast one. Let’s get into it. Okay. So this is a long dilemma, like I said. So we’re gonna dive into some different parts of this.

I am gonna pause at certain parts because I feel like if I wait completely to the end to respond, I’m gonna forget many of my points and I’m gonna forget what happens. So let’s dive into this together. All right. She says. All right, so I need some advice on wedding planning.

I’m getting married in 2026. I have three bridesmaids, including my maid of honor. My maid of honor is my sister. Let’s call her Anna Bridesmaid. One is Sarah and bridesmaid two is Laura. During the bridesmaids dinner, when I asked the girls to be in my bridal party, they immediately asked about dresses and if I’d been looking yet.

I told them yes and showed them what my maid of honor would be wearing. I’ll attach the photos later. They said it was beautiful and would look great on Anna. Okay, so they liked the maid of honor dress. Then they asked what their dresses would look like, so I showed them an option for the bridesmaid dresses.

Sarah completely freaked out. She told me the dress wasn’t beautiful, that it was ugly, and that it would make her look like a nun. She said she would feel uncomfortable in it and wanted to keep looking, okay, I’m gonna pause there before knowing anything. I would never react in that way. If, the bride came to me and said, what’s your opinion?

Do you like this dress? I could be like, you know what? It’s not my favorite. That’s not my style. I don’t like blank about the dress, but if it was me that said, Hey, have you started looking? And she showed me a dress and was like, here, this is what I’m kind of thinking. I’m not gonna be like, oh, I hate it.

That’s disgusting. I would look like a nun. I’d feel blah, blah, blah. And you need to keep looking like. When you are agreeing to be a bridesmaid, you have to agree to their vision, right? Yes. We don’t want you to be uncomfortable. You should wear something that makes you feel comfortable. you don’t want like a super tight dress where you can’t walk in or you don’t want something that’s gonna show cleavage if you don’t feel comfortable in that, right?

 it’s about what you are comfortable in. Yes. But ultimately you are agreeing to fit the vision for the wedding. So there’s a little bit of push and pull here. okay, so she says two days later I came up with two more dress options and showed them to the bridesmaids. So now that you’re giving them options, now you’re kind of agreeing to let them give their full opinion when you are a bride and you’re like, this is the option.

This is what we’re doing. They kind have less wiggle room. if you’re like, I haven’t really decided yet, so tell me what you like. Then you’re letting them give their opinions. Laura said she didn’t love any of the dresses, but she loved me enough to wear them for the day. She said it might not be her style, but it’s ultimately my wedding for the day.

That is the right response. That is the right response. ‘ cause let me tell you, I’ve been in tons of weddings. some I loved some, I absolutely adored and loved some. I was like, nah, I don’t think there were any at the time of wearing them that I completely hated. Looking back, I’m like, whoa, what were we doing?

But it was probably more the style. at the time of wearing them, I don’t think any of ’em I hated. but again, it’s what you kind of agreed to as being a bridesmaid. That being said, and I’ve talked about this before too, I’ve been in some weddings where the bride had no clue what she wanted.

She didn’t know the color or the style. So we all went blindly to a shop together and we kind of chose together. was it always peaceful or was it always unanimous? No, many times it was picking favorites or it was whoever’s voice was the loudest or it was voting. Right. Those are more tricky because you’re getting so many opinions.

And that’s my one piece of advice I would say to brides is before you talk to your bridesmaids, have an idea of what you want, the color, the general style, maybe a couple places, because when you don’t have an idea and you open it up to all these opinions, then it looks like you’re picking favorites.

Right. And then you have to be the. Mean person and say, no, no, no. so that’s my advice is before asking, say, these are the dresses, right? Like for me, and I’ve talked about this before, so I’m sorry if I’m repeating myself, but for me, I knew I liked Birdy Grey. Again, not sponsored, I’ve just worn them for so many weddings.

I liked Birdy Grey. I liked that you could order them online. I liked that it was all under a hundred dollars. So I said, I like all the mauve versions. I don’t care if you get light mauve, medium mauve, dark mauve, there’s even a patterned one. I was like, any of those are fine. Any style dress in the mauve family. So I knew this before even telling any of my bridesmaids.

Now again, if one of my bridesmaids came to me and said, ah, I hate the color mauve, I, I don’t know what I would’ve done. I guess it just depends on the situation. it looked great on everyone. And generally I think everyone liked their dress. So it gets tricky when you kind of open people up to that.

Right. Um, okay. Sarah, however, so this is bridesmaid one said the dress was absolutely hideous and that she would not wear it. She insisted we needed to keep looking. So now I have a problem with Sarah. Okay. I get, again, being, wanting to be comfortable in a dress, but to go off the deep end and say the dress is hideous.

We need to keep looking. It’s not your day girlfriend. Like the bride has an idea. She’s now shown you three different dresses. I think you just need to say, like, suck it up and say you’re gonna, do it for her wedding day because this is supposed to be like one of her best friends, right. After that dinner, Sarah called both Laura and my sister Anna, and tried to convince them that the dress I chose wasn’t a good option.

She wanted them to join her in pushing me to keep looking and convince me to change my mind. So she realizes the other two are easier to like get along with. So she’s like, okay, if I can convince them to tell her, then she’ll change the dress. Sorry that I keep touching my hair if anyone’s watching.

Someone commented once, like, can you not touch your hair? And I’m like, I wish. I don’t even realize I’m doing it sometimes. So sorry. anyway, so I sat the girls down and asked them what kind of dress they were hoping for. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Now you’re giving them full reins. Now you’re giving them full reins.

And maybe this is the type A, I don’t know if I was a Type A bride, I probably was, I don’t know, type A B, I think I was B. I think I was a type B in some ways. Now you’re opening up all the opinions. So like, doesn’t matter what you say, they’re gonna tell you what they want. I was asking what kind of dress they were hoping for because the options I chose were normal bridesmaid dresses.

Sarah told me she wanted a dress where she could show more cleavage. She wanted it short and tight, and if it was long, she wanted it very tight. Okay.

I have no issues with a tight dress. Obviously it’s up to the bride. Right. But you want it short and tight. Typically, a bridesmaid dress is gonna be floor length. I’ve worn a lot of jumpsuits in weddings, floor length. even as a guest at a wedding, I’m not wearing a super short dress. I think maybe a couple times I have shorter.

It just depends. Everyone has their own, whatever they’re comfortable in, right? But to specifically say the bride, I want a short and tight dress. I want my cleavage showing.

Do it outta your wedding. She says, I’ve tried explaining to her, my family is very conservative and I’m trying to choose something that fits the vibe and is appropriate for the wedding. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a short, tight dress. again, when you are a bridesmaid and you are agreeing to be a bridesmaid in someone else’s wedding, you are fitting their vision.

You are fitting what they want for the wedding, right? You don’t get to just pick a short and tight dress for the club because you wanna look hot up there. everyone deserves to look beautiful and great. But again, we have to kind of fit what we agreed. We agreed to be in someone else’s wedding.

It’s not your wedding. 

Bridesmaid Behavior + Bachelorette Budget Chaos

All right, fast forward to planning the bachelorette party. we started sending prices in the group chat to make sure everyone could afford the trip and the activities we were discussing. Everyone agreed the prices were reasonable and we were planning to have our money in by the deposit date.

I’m guessing for like an Airbnb or something. But Sarah waited until two weeks before the deposit date was due to tell me she wouldn’t have her money until the week before the trip. She also expected me to cover her cost, even though I’m the bride. So this is a two part thing. So she waited to say she didn’t have the money, or she wouldn’t have it until a week before, but then she expected the bride to cover her cost.

So what does her not having the money have anything to do with it? If she thinks this whole time the bride’s gonna cover her cost, that’s where I’m kind of lost and confused. This is something that has to be established before all of this. You need to make it clear. ‘ cause like I said, pretty much all the bachelorette parties I’ve been a part of, we pay for the bride.

All the girls split it, so we don’t want the bride to have to pay for her own drinks or all this, but you gotta talk to your people, right? If it’s just the four of them, that can be pretty expensive, right? Whereas if you have 10 girls and you evenly split it, then they’re all not paying as much. Right. so I don’t know if there’s other people there as well.

She said when I told her normally everyone pays for their own way to the bachelorette party and the bridesmaids split the cost for the bride. She flipped out. Why is the bridesmaid just finding out about this? Because if she’s never been in a wedding before, I can’t really blame her for not knowing. And again, this is gonna differ for different friend groups.

For where you’re located country-wise, where in US or otherwise? it’s different. My friend group, like when we even go out for a birthday dinner, we’re not letting the birthday person pay birthday person birthday girl. We are splitting it. The three friends that came, we’re gonna split their meal.

That’s just how our friend group is. We do a bachelorette party trip. I’ve been on bachelorette party trips where there’s five girls. I’ve been on bachelorette parties where there’s 30 girls. get into that another time. 30 women I should say. And that was probably my first, no, that’s why my second bachelorette party and I planned the whole thing with two other people and that was probably the most stressful thing I ever planned.

But anyway, when you do that, when you have different amounts of people, it’s going to differ. But anyway, you need to let people know all of those. We always paid for the bride. We split it all. We did not want the bride paying for drinks, how to get there. any of that. My own bachelorette party, I think I was able to sneak in one round of drinks for my friends, but other than that, they took care of everything for me.

That again, you should never, as the bride, you should never assume that they’re going to pay for you, especially if you’re flying somewhere. Like you need to know your friend’s budgets. when I went on these more expensive bachelorette party trips, I was already like, mm, somewhere late twenties, somewhere.

Early thirties. Yeah. Late twenties, early thirties were the more expensive ones where I could afford a little bit more. Right. if I were in my early twenties, I don’t think I’d be able to afford these longer, longer trips. So you really have to know your audience. You have to know if they can afford it, and we can’t get mad at people when they say they can’t afford it.

She said she wouldn’t be able to afford it and that my wedding was costing her around a thousand dollars, which wasn’t fair. Full stop before I keep going and I know some people don’t like when I keep stopping, but there’s a lot to say about this. That’s a lot of money to a lot of people. A thousand dollars to put into a wedding is a lot.

And she is now communicating to you, I can’t afford this. So at it’s our job at that point as the bride to say, do we need to tone back the bachelorette party? Can I help cover some of her? I don’t think it’s completely like black and white. I don’t think it’s like, well, she’s a bridesmaid so she has to pay her way.

I’ve talked about this before. When I was a bridesmaid, I had a couple bridesmaids reach out to me, or it was a maid of honor. I had a couple bridesmaids reach out to me and say, I don’t think I can afford this. and it was a local one ’cause they had other bachelorette parties, they had other vacations planned and I said, what can you afford?

I’ll cover the rest. I said, maybe don’t come one of the nights. maybe, we’ll, let me see what discount I can get at the hotel. So I tried as the maid of honor to do other things. Okay, so she says, what I wanna point out is that I, the bride have already purchased a lot for them, including their wedding shoes, their jewelry, the pajamas we get ready in.

All the bachelorette party favors, all the decorations. Okay? This is where I’m gonna get, like think I am a against the bride in this, You purchasing bachelorette party decorations and favors is not their problem. That is a gift, Pajamas for them to get ready in is not their problem. That is also a gift.

I got gifts for my bridesmaids. I would never be like, I did this for you, so you owe me, you can spend more money at my bachelorette party because I did this for you. No, those were gifts. You don’t need matching pajamas. You don’t need bachelorette party favors and you don’t need decorations. Are they great?

Are they nice? Yes. Did I have ’em at mine? Yes. Did I have them at most of the perpetual art parties I went to? Yes, absolutely. But it’s not the bridesmaids problem if you spent more Right? That does not take away from the fact that she is still spending around a thousand dollars to be a a part of your wedding.

 I absolutely don’t think you are the bridezilla, when it comes to the dress situation. So far what I’ve read, but this part, if she’s coming to you and saying, I can’t afford it, she have waited until two weeks before? Of course not. But it seems like there’s some communication issue between the two of you guys.

She didn’t realize that she was expected to cover her way, and also that you were expecting all the bridesmaids to chip in and pay for her. So this needs to be established. She said, I’m also basically planning my own bachelorette party because my maid of honor lives in Miami and won’t be there for the first night.

During all of this, Sarah and Laura also texted in the bachelorette group chat that they wanted to go skydiving, which would be $359 per person. Okay. I might have to take back some of what I said, but at the same time, they didn’t have enough money to pay for the trip deposit on time, so now wait. So they both didn’t have enough money, and they said they couldn’t even put aside $10 for one of my meals because the stress is becoming so overwhelming.

I eventually stopped bringing up the bachelorette party bridesmaids dresses and other wedding related details. Here’s the thing, if I was hearing from multiple people in my wedding party, they couldn’t afford the deposit or they couldn’t afford certain things, I would tone it back. I don’t know if they’re flying anywhere.

I don’t know if they’re renting a house, but it sounds like, okay, maid of honor can’t make it there the first night. Maybe we just take out the first night. Maybe we make it two nights instead of three or whatever they’re doing. Right. Maybe we take out something, let’s work together to see how we can make it work.

I am typically, the bride is not involved in planning, but it sounds like, I’m not hearing any of their names or any of their bridesmaids. So it sounds like it’s just the four of them. So I get why she’s very involved. but there’s again, a lot of communication. Um, it’s hard. It’s, it’s like we have to remember when people are going to our bachelorette, they’re also taking off vacation days.

They’re taking time away from their families. They’re spending money away, so they also are gonna wanna do things they enjoy. This is where I think. Bridesmaids plan away from the bride and then they surprise you. But we also need to, work together on the budget. Okay, guys, this is still going.

Hair & Makeup Debate

There’s, there’s a lot. There’s a lot going on. So I’m saying like this is the longest dilemma, but I feel like it was one that really needed to be discussed. Okay. Later hair and makeup came up. The bridesmaids asked if I was going to pay for them to get their hair and makeup done. I told them no. If they would like to hire the makeup artist, they are welcome to pay for it themselves, but I won’t be paying for everyone.

I told them I want the bridesmaids to have minimal makeup and curled hair while I, the bride will have more extravagant makeup and hair. When I explained this to Sarah, she told me she wanted to do her own hair however she wanted, and wear her makeup however she wanted. I understand. Wanting to feel comfortable and I’m.

Really not trying to be selfish, but at the same time, it’s my wedding. All right? I need a sip of coffee for this one.

I’m not gonna lie in reading this alone, I kept moving side to side of like whose side or whose team I was on. Okay? First and foremost, if you are not requiring hair and makeup to be done, you do not have to pay for it as the bride. this is my own personal take. You do not need to pay for it. If you are saying everyone needs their hair and makeup done, you should be paying for it.

 I recommend brides, even if they’re not gonna be paying for everyone to get their hair and makeup done. Reach out to all your brides and bridesmaids and groomsmen, whoever would want hair and makeup, whatever parents. See who all wants it. Done. If you have a good chunk of people that want it done, you should hire a makeup artist and a hair person.

That’s not saying you’re paying for it, but that’s saying you have someone there on site. if you’re not requiring it and no one wants to pay for it, then they should be able to do it themselves how they want to. if you are telling them a certain way to do their hair and their makeup, you should be paying for it.

I don’t know. Is that a hot take? Because now you’re telling them that they have to either tone it down or tone it up from what they normally do. Maybe they don’t know how to curl their hair, so they need someone hired. So you’re telling them You want it a specific way. So I think in that case in point, you should probably pay for it.

Sarah is saying, I’m willing to do my hair and makeup, but I wanna do it how I’m comfortable doing it. I’m sorry, I’m with Sarah in this moment. If I’m a part of a wedding and I’m being told, Hey, you have to do your hair this way and your makeup this way, I’ll try my best. Sure. I’m not gonna be like rude about it, but, everyone has their own like talents and how they’re comfortable with doing hair and makeup, so I kind of go back and forth on this one.

I don’t think you’re being a bridezilla of course, but I don’t think we can control too much about how people do their hair and makeup. You can say like, oh, I don’t want bright red lipstick. Sure. but to say minimal makeup. Then you get extravagant. it’s kinda lost on me. ‘ cause I think you should want your bridesmaid to look just as beautiful.

Have them do full glam if they want, have them do their hair how they want. It’s not like she’s, I mean, maybe she is, but it’s not like she’s trying to like do space buns with like, glitter all over it. I mean, I’m sure, hopefully not, but unless that’s her vibe. so I get having some, hey, like, I really want everyone to do an updo.

Sure. I really want everyone to do loose curls. Okay, sure. But when you get too specific about what everyone should look like, that’s when I gets kind of lost on me. Okay. Next one. This is the last little issue. About a week later, the dress conversation came back up again. Sarah told me her budget for the dress and her daughter’s dress is $200 total.

I guess her daughter’s in the wedding or coming to the wedding. This is the first I’m hearing of the daughter. Her daughter’s dress is $35, meaning the remaining budget for her own dress would be around 165. The dress I found for her is $90. She told me it was too expensive, so I showed her another option for 65, but she said there was quote, no way in hell she would wear that dress to my wedding because it would make her uncomfortable.

So I’m guessing that was the first one. Sarah has been my best friend for seven years, but at this point I don’t know what to do. Wouldn’t a best friend be willing to wear a dress for six hours for my wedding, even if it’s not their favorite style Or am I being extra and selfish?

Also, am I being selfish about the hair and makeup expectations? Is that me being too controlling? it’s not that I’m worried she’s going to take the spotlight, but Sarah likes being the center of attention and the day isn’t about her. Do I sound selfish? Am I being a bridezilla?

All right. So obviously I’ve shared my points throughout this, but let me do the dress budget thing. this is gonna depend if Sarah’s daughter is in the wedding as the bride, I would be paying for the daughter’s dress. We paid for any of the kids that were in our wedding, we paid for them. if not, I mean, you can say your budget is a certain amount, but if like you wanna stick a little bit lower, that’s her own choice.

Right. Okay. So let me ask, answer your questions. Wouldn’t a best friend be willing to wear a dress for six hours for my wedding, even if it’s not their favorite style? Yes, absolutely. You are not being extra or selfish about that. I think you need to tell ’em straight up, this is the dress I chose, wear it or don’t.

I don’t know. I would wear it for my best friends. They could tell me to put on a brown paper bag and I would wear it, because it’s their day, right? So, I don’t know. I do not think you’re being extra selfish or bridezilla for that. Am I being selfish about the hair and makeup expectations? Is that me being too controlling?

I would say yes a little bit. I think you are being a little too controlling about that. Like I said, if you are hiring a makeup artist and paying for it, then you can control how the hair and makeup is done. If you are hiring a makeup artist and they are paying for it, or they are doing it themselves, you gotta just let them do it.

That is my own personal opinion. someone else may have a different one, but I think you’ve gotta let them do what they’re gonna do. You can again, give guidelines, but that’s it. she says, it’s not that I’m worried she’s gonna take the spotlight, but Sarah lives being the center of attention.

Here is my problem about that statement. You already see an issue here. Why are we worried our friend is going to take attention away from us? It says, I’m not worried, but she likes being the center of attention.

No matter how she gets her hair and makeup done, she will not be the center of attention. And that’s not gonna add to it. Someone trying to be the center of attention is gonna be louder or, move around a certain way. I don’t know. Right? Trying to take away from you. And if you’re worried about that, she’s probably already not a good friend to you.

‘ cause most friends are gonna wanna lift you up. Either supporting you, help you in any way, right? allowing her to do her hair and makeup, how she wants it to. Giving her full glam how she wants it to, that’s not going to take away from you. Everyone’s gonna know you’re the bride. So I would say pull back the reins a little bit on that.

Let them do what they want, but be more firm with the dresses. Say the next time the dresses come up, say, okay, you know what, gimme a week guys. I’m gonna finalize it and then I will let you know what dress we need to order, okay? and just be clear on that. Now, I think the wedding is coming up pretty soon, so if you haven’t already ordered the dresses, you’re probably gonna wanna order them soon.

I will message you that, because by the time this comes out, it might be a little bit closer to the date. I think it’s gonna come out a month from recording this. So I’m gonna let you know my points directly. I would be very clear, all right, I looked over all these dresses, this is what I decided.

Because right now you’re giving them too many options and you’re allowing them to give their opinions. So if you don’t want them to give their opinions, tell them this is the option. here’s the website you can choose from A, B, or C. By next week. Let me know what you picked. If by next week they haven’t picked the dress, or they haven’t ordered the dress, you say like, Hey, we need to order it by this date.

Do you still wanna be a part of this wedding? then let them know. And for anyone listening now, that is like in these beginning stages of planning their wedding, communication, communication, communication. In the very beginning when you ask to be a part of the wedding, tell them what the expectations are.

Say hi. Just letting you guys know. we are gonna have a bachelorette party. Typically, that means like bridesmaids cover it. Please let me know your budget. we can talk about it, at a later date, but I just wanna make sure like you guys know, this is the expectation. It’s really important to be clear.

 especially when friends are from different groups, they might all do it differently, and I don’t think it should ever be an expectation without communicating that they’re gonna pay for you. For me personally, it was more important that a certain friend could make it to my bachelorette party or to my wedding than being able to afford something.

So if someone came to me and they were like, I can’t afford to get my dress, I’d be like, well, Can I pay for it? How can I help? And again, your gifts that you got, the bridesmaids as extra or the bachelorette party decorations or gift bags. Has nothing to do with their own personal budget.

That’s something extra that you wanted to give them as a gift. So that has to remain as a gift. That’s not a string attached. All right. I hope that helps. I know that was a lot, but I really hope that helps and I hope you guys have an amazing rest of your wedding experience and wedding planning. And, I’ll be sure to reach out my direct comments to you, she did send me pictures of the dresses, but for her own privacy, I’m not gonna share them on here because I don’t want her, bridesmaids to know.

 but yeah, that’s my own personal take. I mean, looking at the dresses myself, I think they look, yeah, maybe they’re a little more conservative, but I don’t see anything wrong with them. I think they’re perfectly acceptable and beautiful dresses. and.

I take that back. No, they’re gorgeous dresses. I would absolutely wear these as a bridesmaid. the first one looks a little more conservative, but I think it’s still gorgeous. It’s very cute. It’s without showing the picture. It’s like an off the shoulder. sure it’s up a little higher, but it’s off the shoulder, which is sexy.

 and it’s a perfectly good length. It’s like a little longer. The other one is off the shoulder and shows a little leg. So totally sexy. Totally a cute dress. I think I would wear it. So there’s that. Again, I’m not the end all be all when it comes to, Opinions and dresses. That’s just my own personal opinion.

All right, guys, that was just the wedding dilemma. We’ve still got a lot more drama to dive into. All right. Again, if you have a wedding 911 or a wedding dilemma you want me to, talk about on the podcast, which I do these on my solo episodes, you can email me at hello@christainnis.com. Use the subject line wedding 911.

Would You Rather: Wedding Edition

All right. Before we get to this week’s line reaction, we’re gonna do a little would you rather,

all right. Would you rather a relative live stream, your ceremony or post unapproved photos immediately? as long as it’s after the ceremony. I would say post unapproved photos. I don’t need to approve every photo livestream. The ceremony feels a little invasive to me because if you weren’t invited to be a part of the ceremony, I don’t want everybody seeing that, and I don’t know where that is or that is on Facebook.

Do people live stream weddings on Facebook? No. No, thank you. would you rather be guilt tripped into inviting someone or deal with the fallout for not inviting them? Deal with the fallout if they were not on my original list to invite, that’s because they weren’t close enough to me. Oh. I would will say a couple years later, I do have some regrets of people I did not invite, but no one ever guilt tripped me for inviting them or not.

I just thought about it later and I was like, I kinda wish I would’ve invited them. But what can you now, okay. Would you rather have an empty dance floor or dance floor chaos with injuries? Ooh, what kind of injuries are we talking about? I hate an empty dance floor. I despise an empty dance floor.

Why have a dance floor if no one is on it? The best weddings I’ve ever been to is when there’s a packed dance floor. Maybe some people fall. I don’t know. We got heels on, so that’s why you take ’em off. I’m gonna say injuries, praying and hoping they are minor injuries. Like maybe someone just falls in their butt and they have to like sit down and sit out for a little bit.

Empty dance floor. No thank you. I don’t wanna be to an event where there’s an empty dance floor. when my husband and I went to our first wedding together, I knew he was the one because no, this is just me being, funny. my family, when we were at weddings, we were all on the dance floor all night long.

You can see my mom, my parents are on the dance floor. my cousin, like we aunts and uncles, we are all on the dance floor. So, when I went to the first wedding with my husband and his family, they were the same way. I was like, yes, I have a fun. Fun in-law, like family to go into at that point we’d only been dating like six months, so I wasn’t thinking about weddings yet, but, you need a crowded dance floor.

Anyway, that was a long side story. Would you rather seat exes together or seat feuding relatives together?

This sounds like a familiar one I did before, but whatever. I think I’d rather seat exes together because I think in general, and this might be just my own perspective, i think relatives that are feuding goes a little bit deeper, right? That’s gonna hurt a little bit more. Someone knows how to get under their skin.

Exes. I think it goes one of two ways. They either know how to completely ignore each other at that point ’cause they’re just done. or they can just like banter and just be like, you’re an idiot. I don’t know. Or if you read enough romance, comedy, romantic comedy books, maybe they’ll just vibe that night and have like a little, little fling for the night.

 Okay. Would you rather a guest bring someone you hate or not show up at all? Not show up at all. I don’t want someone I hate at my wedding. Would you rather have people RUP yes and not show or RUP no and show up?

Professionally speaking, I would say yes and not show up. But as a bride, if it’s someone I invited that I was like kind of bummed that they weren’t coming and then they just showed up, I’d be like, oh my God, you’re here. What a nice surprise. After the fact, after we eat dinner and stuff, would you rather cut decor or cut the open bar?

Cut decor. We need the open bar. Thank you. Would you rather go cheap on flowers or go cheap on food? Cheap on flowers. I used a friend’s, I don’t know, silk flowers and they looked great. I would not go cheap on food, but we did go cheap or on food. I did not do a full plated thing that was like $200 a plate.

We did a taco buffet, taco bar, and then we had late night snack of pizza. Yes, and I got married in my thirties. 

The Mother-in-Law Red Flags

All right, here we go guys. Who is ready? Holy macaroni. This is a long, all right, let’s get comfortable guys. Pour a glass of wine, get a cup of coffee, whatever time of day it is. Whatever you drink, buckle your seat belts.

Let’s dive in. Let me start by saying that overall the wedding was absolutely beautiful, truly something out of a storybook. I had an incredible support system that worked hard to keep almost all the chaos away from my husband and me on the day itself. We started dating about five years ago, and the very first time I met his mother, just one month into our relationship, she talked extensively about her pregnancy and about me eventually carrying his kids.

Whoa. One month in I’d be like, okay, it’s a little, a little much. That would’ve scared me away. It was a strange thing to say to someone you’ve just met, but it didn’t stop from there. She continued to bring it up every chance she got when we decided to move in together, she invited herself to stay with us for a week.

How, how does that happen a week? Who is not talking to her? Your husband is not telling her, no mom, this is ridiculous. Get out. How does that happen? That week caused so much chaos between my husband and me. That was their first place living together and she ruined it. Your first week living together is like so exciting, but also scary ’cause you’re like, okay, am I gonna learn these weird habits?

Are we gonna like mesh well? And then you’re like, this is like a fun, well at least for me it was, it was like a fun sleepover. I’m like, oh my gosh, we never have to leave. Oh my gosh, this is so fun. imagine if their mom was there. That would kill the vibe. Okay. Why did he say no? I have so many questions.

I ended up breaking down crying in a target parking lot because of her antics. Later that same evening, she had him crawling inside a trash compactor and refused to let us back into the car until he did it. What? For the next three years, it was an exhausting and toxic cycle. She terrorized my husband, my family, and me.

Eventually we bought our home and decided to host Thanksgiving instead of splitting the holidays among four sets of divorced parents. Both of our parents are divorced, but only mine get along something his mother despises and frequently comments on because she can’t do it herself.

Oh my gosh. I still have so many questions about that first week of her just moving in and welcoming herself. Why did your husband not say anything? I’m just very like my space kind of thing. So like when I invite people, I want more the merrier. I love combining friends and groups. Like just all come one, come on and come all, but don’t show up unannounced.

And don’t expect you can like, make, stay and don’t extend that. Stay. Like if you ask me, I’m like, yeah, we’re, I’m more than willing to help. But like when I read stuff like that, I’m like, oh my gosh, it’s terrible. The first Thanksgiving was manageable despite a few fits. A year later, we decided to host again.

This time we were engaged. The FaceTime call to tell her about the engagement was memorable. So was the mom not at. Oh, she was saying she FaceTimed before this. Okay. She spent the entire call showing us the shoes she had picked out for the wedding, and repeatedly saying that she was the first to know he was going to propose.

In reality, I was with him when we picked out and bought the ring and he called my parents first to ask for their permission, then his dad and finally his mom to let her know he was planning to propose. He proposed in May and by Thanksgiving we already had the venue dress photographer and possibly catering booked.

You go girl. When Thanksgiving rolled around, she arrived in a foul mood, furious that my parents were already there and complaining that she wanted alone time with us. We had explicitly told her a month prior that Thanksgiving would be a family affair, and that if she wanted alone time, she should come by after the holiday.

Completely respectable. Completely normal. She has a huge fear of missing out and insisted on coming anyway, and then demanded alone time. Once she arrived to accommodate her, I took my parents to visit the wedding venue the next day so she could spend alone time with her son. Despite this, she spent the entire week throwing tantrums, so she stayed with them again a week for Thanksgiving.

What’s going on here? On Thanksgiving Day, she packed her bags and threatened to leave. The following day, she attacked my mother so badly that my parents ended up getting in their car and leaving shees. Once my parents were gone, we sat down and had a long conversation agreeing to a clean slate and a fresh start.

Ooh. Despite finally having alone time, she claimed to want to move her flight up an entire day and left early after that, unless we reached out. There was complete radio silence until her husband went to the hospital and had his leg amputated. Wow. Okay. We flew out as soon as we could, but by then he was in hospice and she was actively planning his funeral while sitting beside him.

Wait, I wanna pause for a second before I get into that. Why was she so mad about Thanksgiving? They said it was a family thing, but she wanted alone time, but she refused to come early or stay late, so then she wanted to leave early. I think I’m missing something here. Okay.

Back at the hospital. Now while we were there, so my husband could say goodbye to his stepfather, who played a huge role in his life. She brought friends into the room to question us about the wedding. What now is the time when her husband is dying? She brings friends to question you about your wedding.

We repeatedly told them this wasn’t the time or the place, but they wouldn’t stop. Who are these people she hired? Because I don’t believe this woman has friends that would do this. I mean, maybe, I don’t know, but that’s just so odd to me. He passed later that week and the funeral was scheduled for a month later at the service.

Countless people, many of whom my husband didn’t even know, came up to congratulate us and said they couldn’t wait to attend the wedding. What you do this like create a bulletin board or post it on Facebook and tell all her friends the date. This is wild.

She also invited his ex-girlfriend and her now husband to the funeral and spent most of her time with them. I thought she was gonna say she invited the ex-girlfriend to the wedding, but still, despite previously insisting they hadn’t spoken in years. That’s weird for the ex-girlfriend. Why are you showing up?

Like it’s good to pay your respects but also like maybe you can just like send a card to the mail, send flowers. I don’t know. We later found out they’d also been visiting the hospice, but only when we weren’t there at the lunch afterward. It was just us, his mother, his step sibling, and their spouse. his mother used that moment to ask my husband if she was still the most important woman in his life.

No. Why are we doing this? why are we doing this? Do you feel like there’s a competition between your son’s fiance, Lord have mercy. You are in two different brackets, not even in the same field. Why? Why? When he said no, that I was, she launched into attacking him. Don’t we want our kids to be happy?

This is just like mind blowing to me. When he told her it wasn’t the time or the place she turned on me. I told her the same thing. This wasn’t appropriate. We had already addressed things before and she was the one continuing the behavior. We got up and left. Good for you. That’s setting a boundary saying I’m not, I’m not gonna entertain this tantrum right now.

Wedding Week Meltdowns

Five months later, wedding week arrived. Oh my gosh. Or just already wedding week. I don’t know if I could invite someone like that, but again, I’ve never been in a position where I had a toxic parent or in-law like that, throws tantrums and asks their son if they’re the most important woman still in their life.

Her dress had already been a battle. She chose every color except the one we asked for. So she would match the family even after being told she stand out negatively. She ultimately chose a dress nearly identical to my bridesmaid.

See, and again, I don’t think there’s a problem. I don’t think most parents of the brighter groom would do that if you get along with them, if they have a similar color or style. I don’t think that’s a problem, but you can tell she probably did it. As a way to be like, look at me. I’m in the wedding party.

She and another family member spent the three days leading up to the wedding, calling and harassing my husband. why are they be invited still? I would have security out front. Have you seen this woman? She’s not allowed in here demanding alone time and more involvement. Why does she need to demand alone time?

If you need to demand alone time with anybody, you’re not, as important to them as you think. You don’t have to demand alone time. We had already offered them the rehearsal dinner at a sendoff brunch, but they complained they couldn’t afford it. We canceled the brunch and his father stepped in to plan and pay for the rehearsal.

At the rehearsal, they harassed my bridesmaid by repeatedly asking which groomsmen had been inside her.

What? This is so inappropriate.

This mom seems like a creep. I’m sorry. That is so weird to me. And we’re saying they, so it’s her and another family member. Who is this other family member? Is it a sister? Is it a uncle, a brother, a cousin. Like this is so weird and pestering her. Pestering the bridesmaid about who she should go home with.

It got so bad she moved tables, but they followed her and continued I’d be kicking ’em out during my father-in-law’s speech interruptions and shouting continued because they were upset. Certain people weren’t mentioned. That’s at the rehearsal Dinner. Lord have mercy. On the wedding day, she asked his family to arrive when the chapel opened and reserved front row seats.

So they’re there hours early putting their coats down. This is my seat. It’s reserved. His mother threw a fit when the usher offered to show her to her seat, shouting that she wasn’t being allowed to see her son. My mother stepped in, calmly to explain things, but his mother complained about sitting near her ex and demanded a different row.

Come on, if you can’t sit for 30 minutes during a ceremony, you shouldn’t be there. When my husband went to greet her before returning to get ready, she followed him into the groom suite and slammed the barn door so hard. She broke the shelves next to it. I was supposed to be escorted into that suite for lineup, but when the door opened, she was standing there.

I immediately turned around and went back to my room as I would too. This is insane. Holy cow. This is a grown toddler. This is what happens when people aren’t told no. When they’re kids, they become entitled, rude and mean adults that don’t understand boundaries. This is it. This is wild. The ceremony itself was beautiful.

During family photos, she repeatedly pulled my husband, wait, I wanna stop. The ceremony itself was beautiful. Okay. I’m glad she was able to like, hold her shit for a minute and not do anything wild. so we’re gonna pause on that. I’m really glad she, the bride in the groom were able to have a beautiful ceremony and enjoy themselves.

All right, back to the drama. During family photos, she repeatedly pulled my husband away from me, and the photographer had to stop her multiple times. She also followed the other family members demanding to be included in their photos and made an extremely inappropriate comment to one of them. where’s the line?

Because it’s been crossed so many times. It’s gotta be like, we’re at 20 times now. at what point do we kick someone out like this?this is literally just a energy sucker like this. She’s a vampire. She’s literally just taking all the positive vibes and energy outta the room. I feel so bad for couples that get married with someone like this because they’re quite literally taking all the joy outta the day.

Like, I’m glad they had their beautiful ceremony, but this woman is exhausting to just read about. I can’t even imagine having to witness her in person complaining about everything, making everything about herself. Nothing is good enough. she’s competing with the new wife. Like, come on.

Throughout the reception, she shot us dirty looks and interrogated guests about why they were invited when we were leaving, she approached me not to apologize, but to discuss gift logistics. Gift logistics. What does that mean? I told her it was a tomorrow problem and walked away. Early in our relationship, I had no backbone.

That changed after she attacked my mother. Since then, I had no issue standing up to her. I later learned she deliberately blocked doors during cleanup, refusing to help because she said she’d been told she wasn’t needed. 

Post-Wedding Fallout and Boundary Advice

A few days later, I posted sneak peeks photos of my husband and me, my parents, my bridesmaids, and one with his dad.

The next morning, another family member sent my husband vicious messages saying we shouldn’t have invited them at all. We had debated revoking their imitations, but decided to give them one last chance.

So why is a family member sending the husband mean things, saying they shouldn’t have been invited?

Are we talking about the mom and her? Whatever family member is being awful. Okay. It’s been a month since the wedding and people are still telling me new stories about their behavior. Since those messages, we haven’t heard from them at all.

Okay. I don’t know who his other family member is. I’m guessing it’s the one that was like teaming up with the mom being rude to the bridesmaid. they were just saying, oh, we shouldn’t have been invited because she didn’t post pictures with them. That’s what I’m kind of getting from it. This was longer than I intended, but honestly it was cathartic.

There’s so much more that’s happened, but those were the major highlights, especially leading up to the wedding. Here’s hoping there’s a lot less contact by the time we try for kids. I would say no contact. I’m not a no contact person, obviously, like I can only speak from my own personal experience, I shouldn’t say I’m not a no contact person.

I believe if you and your gut are fully uncomfortable or people seem dangerous around you, or people are constantly putting you down and you don’t be around them, no contact, absolutely low or no contact. What I meant is like, I’m not always just telling people like, no contact, no contact. This story. If you are bringing kids into the mix, it’s only gonna get worse.

It’s gonna get 10 times worse because people like this feel like kids are not people. They feel like they also have more of a right to them because it’s their DNA, right? So it’s her son’s DNA in this child. So they feel like they have more of a right to them. I’ve heard so many horror stories about grandparents.

Again, I’m very lucky that my in-laws and my parents are not like this. so I’m gonna keep reiterating like I’m not speaking from personal experience. But before this, before what I do now, I worked for a mom and baby company and I managed a Facebook group of moms over 50,000 moms. And I would hear wild stories of how toxic in-laws or toxic parents would come in and say things to their grandkids.

They would try to show up at the hospital room. They would just be aggressive. So think all these things, but worse with kids. so I would definitely get on the same page with your husband. It sounds like he is now, but early on I’m like, why is he letting the mom stay with you guys for a week? What’s going on here?

 and get on the same page about boundaries with kids. Okay? If we’re gonna have kids, are we gonna let people in the hospital room? Are we gonna let visitors come by the first couple weeks? Are we gonna let your mom watch the baby? I would say no. and you need to follow some accounts that are really good about showcasing this and showcasing boundaries.

But, hey, it’s Janelle Marie is a really good one. She talks about like toxic, in-laws when you have kids and like setting up those boundaries. But one thing that she said, I’m gonna butcher how she exactly said it, but she said something about, if you can’t respect me as a person, why should I allow my child near you?

Grandparents like that trying to get rights to the kids. And it’s like, well if you’re not gonna respect me, their mother or you talk badly about the mother, you have no access to this child. So hoping you guys are able to maybe even get therapy though, the two of you guys to kind of figure out what boundaries you need to set.

But I can say from personally, someone talking to me like this and acting this way on my wedding day would have very low, if not no contact with me. ‘ cause she just took all this joy. She cannot stand that you are more important to your husband than she is. And so she was seeing what she could do to take from that joy.

So the best thing to do. Show her how happy you guys are. Show that you pay no mind to her drama and keep that contact low, but your husband has to be on the same page because if you say no contact, and then he’s still sneaking off and seeing her. I don’t know if he was, I’m not trying to make stuff up, but that can cause an issue, right?

So you need to be on the same page, especially if you want to have kids together. Alright guys, that was a lot. If there’s updates, I’m gonna reach out to her and see if there’s any updates and we can kind of talk more about that. But you guys just, I cannot say this enough, get on the same page with your partner.

So many times I feel like it’s hard because when it is that person’s parent, they see them from a different viewpoint. but it also helps when their spouse or their partner is like, Hey, they acted this way towards me. They treated me this way because you now need to stand up for your partner. you chose to marry them, right?

So you need to. Stand up for that partner and set healthy boundaries. If someone keeps crossing the line, we don’t have to invite them to the wedding. she sounds very toxic, very hurtful. and just kind of gross. That’s gross behavior. That’s all I have to say about that. All right. Lemme know what you guys think in the comments.

All right, here we go. Now let’s get into some weekly confessions and then that’s all we got for you this week. this was a long episode you guys, I kinda lose track of when I started recording. Okay. Confessions, DIY confessions editions. What went wrong? What fell apart? What do you wish you hired out instead?

I remember the years of DIY weddings. I mean, I think they’re still kind of there, but I was a part of, and I helped with a lot of DIY weddings. Some were turned out great, some turned out actually absolutely beautiful. We were so exhausted by the actual wedding day. and you don’t always save a lot of money.

You think you’re gonna save a lot of money, but you don’t always. Alright. I did flowers for my brother. They were beautiful, but now I want to do more. Oh, that’s a good one. I love that. Hey, maybe you can start a side business. Maybe you should do that. If you enjoy doing flowers, so many brides would hire out for that.

 the flowers that I borrowed from a friend, she, I think spent, I don’t know, we both were talking about like, she got married six months before me. Her quote was like four or $5,000 per flowers. My quote that I got was like three or four, and I was like, I just can’t. Uh, flowers are not that important to me.

So she made these silk flowers. She ordered silk flowers, and then she made the bouquets and they were gorgeous. I’ll try sharing a picture on social media at some point. never thought I would do fake flowers in a million years. in fact, when my mom brought up fake flowers, I rolled my eyes. I rolled my eyes, and now I’m eating my words because they turned out great and I saved $4,000.

So you should start a business. I let my sister be the dj. Our first dance had a short ad in the middle of the song. Yeah. I didn’t know.

 ads played in the middle of the song. That’s when it’s worth, if you’re saving money on a dj, at least pay for ad free music.

Our DJ was the worst. He showed up an hour late and didn’t bring a microphone and played music like the Thriller. I don’t even like Michael Jackson. We should have just used a playlist. yeah. Was this actually a DJ or did you just find someone like on Craigslist? No offenses to Craigslist, DJs just saying, yeah, let’s make sure they’re in actual like business before hiring them.

I ended up looking like a zombie on my wedding day due to stress. This is what I was just talking about. I’ve done a couple of DIY weddings where it’s like all hands on deck. We’re up super early in the morning, super late at night. I was a bridesmaid for a couple of them. By the time the wedding comes, you are just exhausted and you wanna be in bed by 9:00 PM but it’s not possible.

So that was one thing, like when I got married, I was like, I don’t want my bridesmaid to feel like they’re working for me. I want them to be up there as like royalty, part of the squad, So that’s hard. You kind of have a, do your checks and balances of what’s most important for you.

Okay. last one made my own invitations. And looking back it looked hideous invitations. There’s such a span of invitations. I know people that spent thousands on invitations and I was like, that’s not my thing. You can literally go to Canva again, not sponsored. You can go to Canva and there’s like pre-designed ones and you can like change out names and stuff and just get them printed.

I think I did, uh, not Zola, Zola, Zola. You can order invitations through. I did that. They beautifully designed ones and you just kinda like type it in. And then I just moved stuff around. You can save money invitations and just do one of those. You can do Zazzle for invitations. I’ve done Zazzle for a lot of things.

 yeah, you just have to like be really know your strengths and know your talents and then things that you’re not the best at either hire out, ask a friend for advice. There’s a lot of helpful things out there. It’s just a quick little Google search.

 All right. That’s all we got for this week. Thank you guys for hanging out with me. I know this was a long episode, but you guys love the drama. I wanna know what your guys’ take is on the first episode or first story for sure. I mean, just gimme your take on everything, but especially that first one with Bridezilla.

I wanna help this bride. Is she being a bridezilla? What things would you tone back? What do you agree with? What do you disagree with? are her bridesmaids being a little too much? Are they being a little too picky? Sharing the comments below. if you are listening to the podcast on your phone, you can go to YouTube.

We always post the full episode. We do post highlights as well. Um, and don’t forget, we are doing our big anniversary giveaway as well. So all you need to do is comment on this episode or last week’s and comment entered. We’re gonna check all of them during the giveaway as long as you say entered. we will enter you into the giveaway.

Make sure you subscribe to YouTube. Subscribe to the podcast on Apple or Spotify, wherever you listen. And, you’ll be entered. Hi guys, thanks so much for listening, and I’ll see you next time. Bye now.

by Christa Innis

Wedding Finances, Honeymoon Hacks & an MIL Meltdown — with Sara Margulis

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

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The MIL stole their car keys… on the morning of their honeymoon.

This week on Here Comes The Drama, a listener shares a “drama-free” wedding that takes a sharp turn the next morning. What should have been a quiet newlywed breakfast spirals into a full-blown hotel lobby meltdown when a mother-in-law demands a ride to the airport, refuses to take no for an answer, and crosses every boundary imaginable.

Plus, Christa and Honeyfund CEO Sara Margulis break down honeymoon funds, modern gift etiquette, and why couples need to stop planning weddings they can’t afford. From Shark Tank success to wedding-industry pressure, Sara shares what couples actually need to start thinking beyond that ‘one big day’.

We’re celebrating one year of Here Comes The Drama! 🎉 Subscribe to my podcast and YouTube channel, and comment “Entered” on this episode’s YouTube video for a chance to win one $150 Visa gift card or one of two $25 Amazon gift cards. Winners will be announced on March 12.

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JOIN ME IN GREECE OCTOBER 2026!

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month! 

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • Cash Gifts vs. Entitlement – Why asking for a honeymoon fund isn’t rude, but treating wedding guests like ATMs absolutely is.
  • The Honeymoon Morning Meltdown – A “drama-free” wedding explodes when a mother-in-law steals car keys and demands a ride to the airport.
  • Wedding Industry Pressure – How FOMO-driven marketing pushes couples to plan weddings they can’t realistically afford.
  • Boundaries as a United Front – Why marriage requires choosing your partner first, especially when family crosses the line.
  • From Shark Tank to Wedding World – Sara Margulis shares how Honeyfund grew and why fee-free gifting matters to modern couples.
  • Honeymoon Planning Mistakes – The biggest financial mistakes couples make when planning travel—and how to avoid them. 
  • Choosing Peace Over Chaos – Why limiting contact with toxic family members can be necessary, even years after the wedding.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  • “Don’t look at people as dollar signs at your wedding, look at them as people.” – Christa Innis
  • “If you’d rather have someone there for a gift than their presence, you shouldn’t invite them. Be more excited to have them there versus a gift. ” – Christa Innis
  • “There are so many ways to make a wedding work at any budget — ultimately, it’s about the marriage, not the one big day.” – Sara Margulis 
  • “A gift is always at the discretion of the giver. You should never expect anything.” – Sara Margulis
  • “Never plan a wedding where you’re counting on gifts to cover the cost.” – Sara Margulis
  • “Nobody has any business expecting anything from a couple in the first weeks of marriage.” – Sara Margulis
  • “Wedding drama doesn’t always end when the music stops.” – Christa Innis
  • “Issues with in-laws come up all the time — and marriage is when you learn to stand united.” – Sara Margulis
  • “Marriage works when you put each other first before everyone else.” – Sara Margulis
  • “All the villains have a backstory — but that doesn’t excuse the behavior.” – Sara Margulis
  • “Boundaries aren’t rude. They’re necessary.” – Christa Innis
  • “The gift of experiences has become more important than the gift of stuff.” – Sara Margulis
  • “FOMO-based wedding marketing makes people feel less than — and it needs to stop.” – Sara Margulis
  • “If you wake up after your wedding broke and stressed, that’s not a great start.” – Sara Margulis
  • “Don’t look at people as dollar signs at your wedding, look at them as people.” – Christa Innis  

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

About Sara

Sara Margulis is the co-founder and CEO of Honeyfund, a mission-driven platform that has empowered nearly 1.6 million couples to receive more than $1 billion in wedding gifts. What began as a personal project to fund her own honeymoon has grown into a company helping couples celebrate love and build a financially strong future.

With a background in psychology and digital marketing, Sara leads Honeyfund with heart-centered, human-first leadership.

She gained national attention after a memorable appearance on Shark Tank, where she secured an investment from Kevin O’Leary – not just for her savvy pitch, but for her vision of love and generosity powering a business. Her journey continues to inspire both entrepreneurs and couples alike.

Follow Sara Margulis

Your ultimate wedding etiquette guide is here! Mariah Humbert answers every question you didn’t know you had—so your big day is smooth, stylish, and stress-free: What Do I Do?: Every Wedding Etiquette Question Answered

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of, Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis. And today’s story that we read, my jaw probably dropped three or four times. It is a wild one. I know I say that word all the time, and I know there’s other words out there. I can use that one. Just these stories are just so, so wild.

You guys crazy. Shocking, surprising. Um. I’m just completely flabbergasted. We’ll, we’ll go with that. Um, just a little reminder, I am doing the, um, giveaway this month. I couldn’t think of the word giveaway. Um, there’s a lot going on you guys. Um. All you have to do is just share a photo, whether it’s of yourself listening to the podcast, it’s a screenshot of the podcast from your phone or a screenshot of your review.

And then tag me at Hey Christa Innis. Um, and I’m gonna give away four $50 Amazon gift cards during the month of January the winter. Winners will be announced, um, in our February 12th episode. So don’t forget to enter, tag me on social media. It can be in a post, it can be in a story. Um, it can be in your caption.

Um, even if you’re like walking on the street, holding your phone, take a picture of, it’s a selfie, but you’ll tag me in the comments, um, about the podcast. That will enter you as well. Um, just a way to say thank you. Um, the first year of the podcast went amazing and I’m just so excited to give you guys more amazing content.

We’ve had so many great interviews, so many great stories that we’ve read on here, and I’m just, we’re just getting started. You guys. There are so many more. Um. Wild things to happen. Uh, and and one thing I’m gonna try is to use a different word every single episode. And it’s funny ’cause I, like I asked you guys a while back and you guys gave me all these other words, but I just can’t, I can’t help it.

It’s wild. Okay. Anywho. Today on the podcast I have Sara Margulis here who is the co-founder and CEO of Honeyfund. You guys have heard me talk about Honeyfund many times before. It is the wedding registry, um, where people can give money towards your honeymoon, and I think it’s such an amazing concept and, um.

There. It’s, it’s great because I think we’re leaning a lot more into experiences versus things. Um, so Honeyfund is a mission-driven platform that has empowered nearly 1.6 million couples to receive more than 1 billion in wedding gifts. What began as a personal project to fund her own honeymoon has grown into companies, has grown into a company helping multiple couples celebrate their love and build a financially strong future.

With a background in psychology and digital marketing, Sara leads Honey Fund with heart-centered with a background in psychology and digital marketing. Sara leads Honey Fund with heart-centered and human first leadership. She gained natural attention after her memorial. She gained national attention after her memorable appearance on Shark Tank, where she secured an investment from Kevin O’Leary.

Not just from her savvy pitch, but from her vision of love, generosity, empowering a business. Her journey continues to inspire both entrepreneurs and couples alike. So we have a great time chatting. She has. Such a vision for her brand. Not only that, but we just talk all about weddings, honeymoons, the importance of them and the importance of just your building blocks, um, when you’re planning your wedding as well.

Um, so without further ado, please enjoy this very special episode.

From Wedding Registry to Honeymoon Fund Revolution

Christa Innis: Hi Sara. Thank you so much for being here. Hi Christa. I’m so excited to talk to you today. Yes, I’m so glad we were able to connect. Before we get started, I mean, there’s so much drama and everything we can talk about. Can you just talk one a little bit about you and your awesome brand Honey fund?

Sara Margulis: Yeah, absolutely.

So, I’m Sara Margulis, co-founder and CEO of Honey Fund. We are almost 20 years old, but if you can believe that, next March will be our 20th anniversary. But Honey Fund is basically a wedding registry where couples can receive the gift of a honeymoon or any cash, that they need to start out together instead of, or in addition to traditional registry items.

Christa Innis: I love that. I think it’s such a smart idea and I remember the first time I saw something like that, Years ago for a friend’s wedding, and I was like, this is such a great idea because sometimes people live together for a while before getting married and they don’t need the standard like dishes or towels.

And so I think it’s a fun way to contribute to, a fun time in your friends or family members’ life. and so what kind of started the idea, what made you think of the idea behind it and what was the process for you? Like when you were like, oh, this could be something and kind of getting that together.

Sara Margulis: Yeah. So, when I was getting married, planning my wedding in 2004, We didn’t need any more household stuff. We lived in a one bedroom flat and we weren’t like, ready for our forever home. So there was no point in accumulating China and, towels and silverware and all that. but we did really wanna go on a, pretty elaborate honeymoon.

We were dreaming of a trip to Fiji, which turns out it’s about halfway around the world from San Francisco. So expensive to get to. And, my fiance and I, at the time, we were just like, what could we do that would be different from, you know, a traditional wedding registry? I can’t remember how, but I’d heard of the concept of a honeymoon registry and I kind of went online to like.

Make sure I wasn’t crazy and that was an actual thing. And it was, but it was, quite, antiquated that the options that were available were a little outdated and they were very, expensive to use. Like they wanted to charge, 9% in fees, which to us just seemed crazy. That would amount to a whole night on our honeymoon, we’d be paying in fees, right?

Mm-hmm. we just put our heads together and kind of created our own makeshift honey fund on our wedding website. And our friends and family went crazy for it. They gave us more than $5,000. We took our dream honeymoon to Fiji and when we got back they were just raving about the idea, like, how cool, like, I wish we had this when we got married.

You know, you guys should make this available to other couples. And we were already aspiring entrepreneurs. I had a background in marketing. He had a, software engineering degree. And so we built honeyfund.com about a year after our own wedding. And, Just started, we bought a few Google ads, for people searching for honeymoon registry, which there weren’t that many searches at the time.

We started signing up, you know, three, four people a day, and then it became a hundred and then became a thousand. And in 2011, we were featured on Martha Stewart Wedding’s homepage, and our site totally crashed.

Christa Innis: Oh my God. Oh my God. We made it to the big time, like somebody at Martha Stewart noticed us and is like, this is a cool idea. We’re gonna share this. So yeah, that’s a big break. 

Experiences Over Stuff: Why Honeymoons Actually Matter

Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s amazing. And when you explain it that way, it’s such an amazing concept and so important because I feel like there’s still like some misunderstanding from people, like how it works or, and I don’t know if you’ve seen these comments before, people saying like, well, I don’t wanna pay for someone’s honeymoon when you put it that way, it’s like, if you love this person and you want to give them a gift, what? Does it matter if they spend it on sheets in their house or they spend it on dinner, on the beach? You know? Totally,

Sara Margulis: totally. And as the gift of experiences has become more. Sort of commonplace and the gift of cash, right?

With like GoFundMe and stuff. I think it’s just kind of obvious that today’s couples, you know, the way our economy has evolved, like you can get anything you need for your household at Walmart for 3 88. it’s just cheap. Like, you know, you don’t need, a wedding registry. You don’t need your friends and family to shell out their hard earned cash to get you more stuff.

Everybody has enough stuff now. But what we really crave and what I think wedding couples really need after the stress of planning a wedding is a vacation. some memories that they’ll always cherish and, 99.999% of any giver who’s ever come through Honey Fund has said that was so much fun.

What a cool way to give a wedding gift.

Christa Innis: I love that. And isn’t there a stat out there, I might be making this up, but there’s something, some kind of stat about like couples that do take a honeymoon and take the time to take a honeymoon. Like either like. Are married longer or they have happier marriages because they start off by focusing on an experience together.

And I might be making that up, so maybe I should look it up later, but I remember hearing something about that. Yeah. Because there’s a lot of couples that, maybe they hold, off or they, aren’t able to because of other things, which obviously there’s some circumstances where you just can’t take a honeymoon.

I get it. They’re expensive. You might not have Yeah. Getting time off

Sara Margulis: work, family e emergencies. There’s all kinds of reasons why couples don’t travel, but that stat is actually from H Fund’s own research and the stat is that, couples who take a honeymoon are more likely to be happily married more than a decade later.

And, you know, when we first, did that research and kind of interpreted all that, it gave me goosebumps. I was like, oh my gosh. Like we’ve been doing something really fun and cool for, you know, 15 years. But like we didn’t realize that it was actually related to, marital satisfaction and. As someone who’s been through divorce with Honeymoon’s co-founder and having to like, go through the hardest thing imaginable, that really like sunk in for me.

And I was like, I wanna make happily ever after the reason why we exist. And so we really started thinking about like, how do we not only get couples on that first honeymoon, but keep them traveling together throughout their married lives so that they can, benefit from the relationship skill of travel, right?

So like mm-hmm. When couples take time away from the stress of everyday life, when they take time to focus on each other, quality time, time to dream, time to just breathe out. They have better relationships, stronger relationships. And so, we just launched anniversary fund last year so that, this year actually, so that couples could continue to travel together.

The couples who miss their honeymoons could have that opportunity to celebrate a master anniversary with the help of friends and family and make that honeymoon happen.

Christa Innis: I love that. that would be like my advice for people, again, if it’s feasible for people, but like to plan when you’re planning your wedding, to plan that honeymoon.

Even just get it on the books, even if it’s not right away. Yes. Having that date, it’s ’cause it’s something to one look forward to after the wedding that doesn’t involve anybody but your partner. And two, it’s like, it’s those memories right away as a married couple. And, I feel like it just, it really, like we were talking about, it’s like we have all this stuff, right?

We just keep accumulating stuff year after year and that just really brings home the idea of experiences over more things, right? Mm-hmm. A hundred percent. Yeah, you got it. And so I just, I feel like it’s so important and the people I knew, I knew different couples that year. They were like, oh, we’re gonna wait till next year to do a trip or we’re gonna do this.

And then before you know it, some of those couples never ended up taking one because Yeah. Whether they decided to have start having kids or they move, or other things come up and that things are gonna always come up. Always. So I think it’s a way to like kind of prioritize your relationship and being like, okay, this week we’re setting aside our honeymoon and that’s what we’re gonna do.

Yeah.

Sara Margulis: Yeah. And also it’s like this great opportunity to like get time off that like nobody can say no to. Like no boss is gonna be like, no, I’m not giving you time off for your honeymoon. You know what I mean? Like Yeah. It’s kind of a freebie, so you gotta take it while you can. Right. but yeah, I really agree that, starting your marriage off, being able to like decompress after the wedding planning, which is really stressful. I mean, the big day is awesome, but sometimes you’re just kind of in shock, right? And like the next day you’re like, whoa, what just happened? And you just need a minute to collect yourself before you jump right back into work and everything.

I think it’s really important.

The Wedding Letdown No One Warns You About

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah, totally. you hear of that, like, this didn’t happen to me, but I know a lot of brides where they almost, depression’s gonna be a really strong word, but a lot of them felt like, bumped after their wedding. Yes. Because they put so much stress and you know, they spend weeks and months and Yes.

Planning, you’re around family and friends all the time doing this fun event and then the day after they’re like, ah, I have nothing to look forward to. And Okay. Which is such a sad way to look at it. And like, that’s why I like always tell people too, I’m like, it’s about starting the marriage. Like yeah.

It’s not all our focus on that one day. Right. But I think the honeymoon can really help with it too, because that’s that thing to look forward to of like starting your life, yeah. Together and just no responsibilities on the trip. Just be Yeah,

Sara Margulis: I totally agree with you. I think there’s a lot of, bride specifically who mourn the loss of the wedding planning part of their lives and the, joy and the comradery and the community and everything around wedding planning and many of those actually become winning mentors.

Mm-hmm. So that they can like, stick with it. It was just something they fell in love with and they don’t wanna to be gone anymore. So.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I do think a lot of people find their passion through wedding planning. Like, they’re like, oh, I love doing this. Or they might find their hatred about planning stuff, so they’re like, get me out of here.

So. Before Honey Fund. you worked in marketing for a while, you said mm-hmm. I think you also said customer service. So how do you think those experiences helped you prepare for this business and ultimately launch this business?

Sara Margulis: Oh, that’s a great question that nobody has ever asked me before, Christa.

Oh, wow. I thank you for that totally new question. marketing was something that I fell into after college. I actually studied music as my undergraduate degree with a minor in German, so it was a very like, just non-committal major, you know, like I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up. I had a math and science background in high school, but I didn’t wanna be like, you know, an engineer or like a scientist and,

 when I got my first job in marketing, I just fell in love with it. I loved the intersection of like, math and analytics with like, customer psychology basically. and so that came really naturally to me. And so when we started Honeyfund, I was able to bring, I went on to get a master’s degree in business with an emphasis in marketing.

So I was able to bring all that sort of passion and training to, and my experience planning a wedding. So my understanding of the wedding industry too, to bear in creating honey fund. prior to that I had been in customer service, and there’s something about customer service that I just love.

It’s the idea that, you have an opportunity to delight someone who’s frustrated with your brand to turn them around, to make them an advocate because you took such good care of them to take full accountability for any failure that they had. that comes really, really easily to me. and I just love the, like, the interaction and the opportunity to serve people.

 so I think all of that came together to make Honey Fund. it was just all about like, what would I want, do I think would help other couples, like have a great experience and dealing with brides and money. Those are two of the trickiest things that a business can, deal with.

 but we’ve been successful I think because we have a really clear vision about what it is we’re trying to offer people. A commitment to trying to be fee free as much as possible, and a commitment to just radically awesome customer service.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I love that. And so then you guys took your idea, or you were already a business, but then you guys went over to Shark Tank and you were pretty successful there.

So what was that story like and how did that kind of all come about?

Sara Margulis: Yeah, so we were just plugging away in like 2012. I think we’d done about 200 million in gifting at that point. this was six years after we launched. We had just started hiring people for the business. We, had some customer service, folks and we’re starting to hire like a designer and things like that.

 but prior to that, we’d run it all ourselves, just two of us. and we got an email from Shark Tank. And I don’t, I’m not a fan of reality television. I don’t watch it for the most part. so I really didn’t know much about the show, and my first gut instinct was like, I don’t wanna be on a reality TV show.

Like that just sounds like a nightmare. but once we kind of dug into what the show was a little bit more, we were like, oh, this is interesting. So they invited us to apply to the show. They, somebody in casting knew somebody on the crew who had given a honey fun gift to a friend and was like, that was so cool, you know?

Mm-hmm. And talked about us to casting. and they were looking for companies in season six that were a little bit more established, than like, your mom and pop, you know, cupcake company or whatever. Yeah. So we applied and we got cast and we walked into the tank in June of 20 14. we did a deal with Kevin O’Leary.

We actually got three offers, one from Robert, one from Barbara, and one from Kevin. And we took Kevin’s offer and, closed the deal ahead of the airing date of October, 2014. And, still partner with Kevin today. he’s been a great, asset and just a fan of the brand and the customers.

The wedding sort of, he loves love. You know, he actually officiated a wedding for us on Zoom during COVID. We did like a wedding rescue giveaway where Mr. Wonderful will like officiate your wedding. Oh my gosh. And people sharing their COVID cancellation stories and, it was cool. He’s been a really fun partner.

Christa Innis: Wow. So what was it about him? So you said you have three offers. What was it about him that made you guys be like, this is our right person to go to help us.

Sara Margulis: So we had walked into the tank with kind of our idea of like how much equity we were willing to give away. And you know, if you’ve watched Shark Tank, you kind of say like, I want, you know, 400,000 for 10% of my company.

Right. well they, Robert and Barbara both wanted something like 30% and we were like, that’s just our line in the sand was 25. So we, countered at 25. Robert was just like, that’s ridiculous. And Kevin just swooped in and he said, look, I’ll give you a loan. I’m gonna take no equity. You just have to pay me back three times what I’m gonna loan you.

And that’s what we did. And he, to this day, like he got paid back in the first few years, we gave him a little option, stock options, so that, you know, he would be aligned with us in the long term. But, it was an amazing deal. Wow. That’s

Christa Innis: awesome. And I’m sure that also, like, even though it wasn’t.

Your vision at first of going on Reality tv, I’m sure it gave you kinda like an extra boost of being like, wow, this is like really gonna take off now. This is really awesome that Oh yeah. Someone believes in it. Oh yeah.

Sara Margulis: Yeah. I mean, our traffic went crazy the night of the airing, even though we were up against the World Series and like some, football games that night.

It was a Friday night. our site crashed, you know, even though we had prepared and did everything we thought we could do to be ready for the traffic. and yeah, we definitely like, grew a lot after Shark Tank and to this day continue to get a little bump every time the reruns come around on CNBC.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh, I love that. That’s awesome. so what do you think your, like biggest challenge has been, either like with starting up the business or now to this day? Like it. Getting the business out there or explaining it to new couples. what do you think that kind of challenge or hurdle has been?

Sara Margulis: Oh my gosh. I mean, how much time do we have, Christa? it’s been a 20 year journey. I would say the biggest challenge in the beginning was figuring out the monetization model. Like we just wanted couples to be able to get money for their honeymoon and not have to pay any fees. there’s not a lot of like revenue for a business and that model.

Right, right. finding a way to continue to offer either the lowest fees or no fees, to couples while still being able to, earn revenue and, employ a team, was a very, very long journey. And we actually just kind of cracked the code on it this year, with the honey fund MasterCard.

So you can now, receive the gifts. You pay no transaction fees when the gifts come into your wallet. And then when you are ready to, cash out your fund, you can move the money to a prepaid MasterCard and spend it. Anywhere around the globe that MasterCard’s accepted for no fees at all. So that was a big deal, that was like huge.

 and then, you know, couples can also cash out to PayPal, Venmo for a small fee, but it’s the lowest in the industry. And again, like our commitment is just, we want couples to get every cent that they got from their wedding guests and put it towards their honeymoon or whatever their savings goal is.

Christa Innis: I love that.

Sara Margulis: So that was a challenge. the other one I would say, biggest by far, well two that came back to back first our split. and when Josh exited the business, that was really hard. and, just emotionally difficult. Transitioning the team, or notifying really the team and kind of helping them make the transition to new tech leadership.

 and then right after that, COVID hit and our revenue dropped off a cliff overnight. like weddings and honeymoons canceled. but in the end, that was a catalyst for growth for us because we went out and did a crowdfunding raise. and our past couples and wedding guests who’ve given on the platform our followers, Kevin’s followers all together, bought in for a $1.5 million and, helped us grow the company from, the wreckage of COVID to, what we’re doing today, which is 120,000 couples a year and $80 million in gifting.

Christa Innis: Wow, that’s amazing. I’m sure like COVID was such a challenging time for so many businesses, and I can only imagine when it comes to like weddings. Like we had a few different friends that were supposed to get married that year and venues just randomly closed and they wouldn’t hear any news and vendors weren’t really sure what was going on, so I Oh, it was so awful.

Sara Margulis: Yeah, it was, I mean, that so stressful. So many vendors and just wedding related companies in general, revenue just disappeared. And some of them were on the hook for, money that they spent with venues or whatever else. It was awful.

Cash Gifts, Etiquette, and the Fine Line Between Asking and Expecting

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. before we get to, I’m gonna do rapid fire next, but, what is your main piece of advice for brides, grooms, anyone getting married right now when it comes to setting up a registry?

What is your biggest tip, or piece of advice?

Sara Margulis: I would say like, don’t be afraid to do a cash registry or a honeymoon fund. I know some couples are still a little bit more traditional about it. Or worry that their friends and family won’t, be open to the idea. But like I said, everybody who’s ever used Honey fund, their friends and family went crazy for it and like loved giving the gifts and raped about the idea.

So, don’t be afraid to do that. On the flip side, I think there’s a generation of couples coming in now that are, a little bit too, like ready to ask for cash and just slap in their Venmo QR code on their invitation, and they’re like, whoa, okay, we gotta hold our horses here. This is like from an etiquette standpoint, like a little sticky. and we, built Honey Fund to really take all of those etiquette considerations into account. So, you know, your friends and family really feel like they’re shopping from a registry and not just dumping cash into your wallet, right? So, we think Honey Fun strikes the sweet spot between those two and, friends and family, they just wanna get you what you want.

You really said it at the beginning of the episode. Why wouldn’t they wanna support your dreams and get excited about funding your trip? so yeah, that would be my biggest piece of advice. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want and you, it’s not fun. ’cause we’ll make it easy for you to do it in an etiquette, approved way.

Christa Innis: yeah. For sure. I totally agree with what you say because I feel like still to this day, it should not be an expectation that someone’s gonna just hand you cash or hand you money. Absolutely. People, of course, most people in your, family and friends want to give some kind of wedding gift.

Mm-hmm. I’ve never personally, seen a Venmo thing on an invite, but I have heard of a lot of people and like, stories people have sent me. Mm-hmm.

Sara Margulis: And

Christa Innis: I’ve seen a lot of stories about high expectations of like, I’m the bride, give me your money, give gifts. Right. And I feel like there’s definitely a right way to do it.

Mm-hmm. Because like. I remember when I got engaged, I was like, I’m not, I don’t expect anything. But so many, so many family friends were reaching out, saying like, send me a registry. Like before I even did it, they were like, oh, I can’t wait to, you know? Mm-hmm. What are you looking for? And so people will want to, but yeah, it’s, there’s a right time and a place of like how, how to do it, for sure.

Sara Margulis: Yeah. Yeah. And I think the biggest horror stories around gifting come from. sense that the couple isn’t grateful or they expect you to spend a certain amount of money to cover the cost of your plate or something. And I say like, first of all, never spend money that you aren’t a hundred percent comfortable spending.

Never plan a wedding that you feel like if we don’t get this certain number of gifts, we’re not gonna be able to cover this. Like, that’s not okay. If you, if you need money to plan your wedding, you can do wedding funding on honey fund, you could add some things to your registry that are gonna help you, like flowers or, you know, open bar or whatever the costs are, and invite your closer in circle to help fund those, because those are the people that are gonna help you cover the cost of your wedding anyway, right?

Mm-hmm. and then, when it comes to, like, gifting, strict etiquette says that’s at the discretion of the giver, that you should never expect anything. And if you do, It’s not gonna be good for your relationship with your closest friends and family. People love you the most.

It’s gonna put a sour taste in their mouths and you don’t wanna do that to everyone you love at once.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. Don’t, not a good, don’t look at people as dollar signs at your wedding. Right. Look at them as people, if you’d rather have someone there because they’re gonna give you a big check, then you shouldn’t be inviting them.

Right. And I feel like people get lost in that a lot of times. Like they think about like, oh, I want a big wedding ’cause of this. And it’s like, no. Like you should be more excited to have them there versus a gift.

Sara Margulis: Yeah.

Christa Innis: for sure. I actually just read, I feel like I was either a Reddit story or someone sent it to me about getting invited to a wedding where it clearly stated on the invitation it said, you are required to pay for your plate.

And it gave the cost of the plate and they, and it was like all these really strict rules and that was one where I was like, oh,

Sara Margulis: okay,

Christa Innis: that’s

Sara Margulis: okay. So

Christa Innis: much. We’re getting a little, a little forward with that.

Sara Margulis: To me, that sounds like, one of those mock weddings they do for like wedding vendors or something.

It doesn’t sound like a real wedding to me. I can’t even imagine actually. Yeah, putting that on there. and there’s so many ways to make a wedding happen at any budget. We have actually a lot of templates for low cost, a thousand dollars, $5,000 weddings on Honeyman’s blog. you can have a wedding in a park on a Thursday afternoon with an officiant and you know, your 20 closest friends and family and a cake.

And you know it’s not about all the pomp and circumstance. It’s not about the decorations or the number of people or the chicken or the fish. It’s about you and your person really being authentic about like, what can we afford to spend? What kind of vibe do we want? Who do we want to be there?

Ultimately, like you said, it’s about the marriage. It’s not about the one big day. And if you’re only doing it before the day, then you know, you kind of have to ask yourself like, what am I gonna do when it’s over? Like, do I wanna be married to this person? You know, those are the tough questions.

Yeah. When it comes to getting married.

Christa Innis: Yeah, absolutely. Sit together and go through what’s most important for you. What do you wanna spend more money on?

Sara Margulis: Yeah.

Christa Innis: cause I just did like a rapid fire recently that was like, what’s more important for like me? It was like the dress or spend more on the honeymoon.

I was like, honeymoon all the way. Oh yeah. I didn’t even get a super expensive dress. I was like, I knew wear for one day. Yeah. I’d rather go go owl out on the honeymoon.

Sara Margulis: Yeah. I actually sold my dress after the wedding. ’cause I was like, I don’t have a place to store this. You know? It’s not like it was some dream dress that, I loved it.

It was beautiful and I’ve got all the pictures, but like, let some other bride enjoy it for a good price. You know, that was kind of my, yeah. Yeah. It’s like, I

Christa Innis: love that.

Sara Margulis: Re reduce, reuse, recycle kind of California vibes over here.

Christa Innis: Yes. I love that. I should honestly do that with some of my bridesmaid dresses.

I have so many bridesmaid

Sara Margulis: outfits. There you go. Oh my gosh. Right. I’ve used them for Halloween costumes.

Christa Innis: That’s a great idea. You know what the funny thing is I’ve given away, so I’ve been in 10 weddings and I’ve given away two, and I was literally looking for one this year and it’s one I got rid of and I was like, darn it for Halloween, because I was gonna, Belinda.

Oh. I was like, oh, I had a pink dress. And I was like, that would’ve perfect. I don’t know where it is. I think I got rid of it.

Sara Margulis: Oh man. I wanna offer one more piece of advice. This came up recently. Mm-hmm. in the news. People like wonder, like why do I need a honey fund? Can’t I just have like a honeymoon contribution box like on the day of my event and just have people bring cash or checks or whatever, which is like, a totally legitimate question, but it’s not very secure and there are plenty of stories of couples having all their cash gifts stolen at the wedding.

so, making it available to your friends and family ahead of time. First of all, make sure that everybody’s got access to the gift, whether they can come or not. Second of all, it’s secure. you’re gonna get the money for free anyway, so it’s not like you have to try to skirt the system. and you can put a QR code on your, gift table for people who hadn’t gotten it, in ahead of time to, send you a little bit something through your honey fund.

Christa Innis: I love that for someone like me, I love when couples have one because I don’t carry checks. Yeah. So I, yeah, I’m such a, I don’t know if I’m, I think I’m like a middle millennial. Maybe I’m younger, millennial, I don’t know. But I don’t carry checks. So when there’s a wedding coming up, it’s like I have to make an extra trip to the bank, or I get a bunch of cash out and I’m like, oh my gosh, like you are gonna have a couple hundred bucks in a card.

That’s like very risky to me. So I love when they offer a honey fund because it’s so much easier for me to be like, just do it right from my phone. Like, that’s so much easier. I get a card still, I put it on the table and I write like little note, like, check your honey fund, or you know, or whatever.

Sometimes I do that. Love it. but it’s so much easier. Yeah. Sounds good. And we had that too, like even like a couple people that couldn’t make it to our wedding. the day of like they were sick or their kids were sick and they just like sent something and then we just got like an email and it was like, so sorry.

And then they sent their gift that way. So it was like, even if you couldn’t be there, it’s just like an easier way. We all have access on our phones. lot of us don’t have checks anymore. Mm-hmm. Or carry around cash. A lot of us don’t carry around cash.

Sara Margulis: so many people now just don’t ever carry cash. And like, I usually have a little cash, but like, not enough when I usually want it.

I don’t have it, so. Yep. It’s so funny. You just have everything with your phone now.

Christa Innis: Yes. Oh yeah. The ease. So, or like at

Sara Margulis: Whole Foods you can use your palm to pay. I’m not into that yet, but, oh, that’s a, we’ll have to look into that as a feature for honey fund, like gift table. Like just be with your palm, just put

Christa Innis: hand.

Technology is wild. It scares me sometimes, but it’s a hundred percent Cool.

Sara Margulis: Yeah.

Wedding Industry Pressure & FOMO Marketing Gone Wild

Christa Innis: Okay. We are gonna go into rapid fire. It’s honeymoon, and kind of like CEO edition, so there’s kinda like mixed in there. Okay. Let’s do it. Okay. What’s a realistic honeymoon budget for most couples?

Sara Margulis: Ooh, I love this. so I’ll give you some averages and then I’ll give you some ranges.

So, average honeymoon budget right now is $6,500. This is a survey of H Fund couples, that has gone up considerably since pre COVID. Wow. 2,700 I, or 3000 I think was the sort of typical amount to spend prior to COVID, and a much larger wedding budget. That’s almost flipped now where you have, $6,500 honeymoons and like maybe 12, $15,000 weddings.

So people are just allocating a much bigger portion of available funds to their honeymoon. And I think you nailed it when you said like, yeah, we know what we’re doing for our honeymoon. You know, a lot of couples I asked today that are newly engaged, Where are you gonna get married?

What month? Blah, blah. They don’t know any of that. Where are you going on your honeymoon? We’re going to Thailand. Mm-hmm. Like, they already know. You know what I mean? So it’s interesting. Yes.

Christa Innis: I love that. I’ve noticed that too. I feel like it’s definitely changed a little bit and I think people are getting more creative with where they’re going.

I feel like it used to be like, my parents’ generation, it was like Hawaii. I think everyone went to Hawaii. Oh yes, yes. And we even looked at Hawaii and it was so expensive. So we ended up doing like all-inclusive resort. But yeah, I just feel like there’s a lot more emphasis on realizing like.

Planning this trip is like really important. Mm-hmm. Even if you can only do a couple days mm-hmm. Somewhere. Mm-hmm. Just to like plan something a little getaway. I love that. Yep. Should you save for the honeymoon before or after the wedding? Should

Sara Margulis: you save for it before or after?

 it really depends on, when you wanna take the honeymoon. I’m a big fan of long engagements that allow you to start setting money aside from each of your paychecks every month to kind of build a seed fund for your wedding and honeymoon. and then of course your H fund, you know, contributions are gonna help you cover it too.

So if you’re planning to go right after your wedding, I think you wanna have a financial plan around your honeymoon, like six months ahead of the wedding. So what we’re doing now is we’re offering, couples a 0% interest credit card offer so that they can get that booked but not have to pay it back until after, the wedding, when their honey fund gifts come in.

Oh, great. So, yeah, I think you need a financial plan and if you can save, one to two years ahead of your wedding and honeymoon, absolutely. Start doing that. Mm-hmm. if you know you’re not gonna be able to honeymoon until six months or a year after. continue to save until that time comes.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And put it on your calendar just so you Yes, absolutely. Put something or let it slide off. You gotta

Sara Margulis: book it. You gotta ask for the time off. You gotta make sure everyone in your life knows, like, these are our honeymoon dates. Don’t plan somebody else’s wedding during this time, or whatever. Right? Yes.

Christa Innis: what’s the biggest honeymoon money mistake you think couples make?

Sara Margulis: Ooh, I think it can be really easy to, with all of the hustle and bustle of planning a wedding for the honeymoon, planning to fall through the cracks, and then you maybe are scrambling to plan it a little too late and you’re not getting access to the best prices.

So kind of making sure that you have a honeymoon planning sort of timeline that’s happening alongside your wedding planning. deciding early where you wanna go, finding out the best time of year to travel there. when flights are gonna be most reasonable, when hotel rooms are gonna be most reasonable.

And, planning well ahead I think is the best way to save money in most cases in life in general. Yes. But certainly with travel planning.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I love that. Yeah. It’s funny ’cause like one of the weddings I was in, my friend is such a planner that like, I think we all booked for Her bachelorette party was in Miami, not Miami. Sarasota, siesta Key. I love Sarasota. I think we all had our flights booked. Like she had exactly where she, like, she planned it herself as the bride. She’s like, I found these two houses we’re gonna rent. I found these flights. They’re like this cheap.

And like, because it was so in advance, it was such a good price for everything. She knew the right season to go. She knew the right time. Like I think we went like four months before her actual wedding, just ’cause the timing was right. Wow. so you can actually do pretty well, especially with flights and stuff like saving money.

Buying on travel Tuesday versus like Yes. Last minute flights. Yes. yeah. So smart and

Sara Margulis: there’s so much tech now that can tell you, it can alert you when flight prices drop. It can help you with like different types of connections that can save you money. Like, I would say definitely if you like travel planning, like start on it as soon as possible.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I love that. I didn’t ask this one before, but we kind of talked about it, about like having your honeymoon as a part of your wedding budget. Do you think those should be two separate budgets or just like one big and then figure out how much you wanna allocate?

Sara Margulis: Yeah, well, I mean, realistically speaking, it’s all one budget, which is your combined financial picture, right?

And so you have to ask yourself, when we wake up the morning after our wedding night, how much money do we wanna have in the bank for? The next step in life, whether that’s buying a home or paying off debt or going and doing a master’s program or something. your financial life never, ends, right?

You have to be constantly planning ahead. we actually have a worksheet, it’s called the one page wedding plan, where you just sit down and like think about, okay, how much money do we have in the bank now? How much time do we have to save? How much do we expect friends and family to be able to contribute and then helps you allocate that financial picture across all the different things.

And like I said, you know, what we’re finding is couples are allocating so much more of their overall budget picture to the honeymoon these days than they used to. Mm-hmm. And a lot less on the wedding because they just, number one, it’s like impossible to afford. we just did a bunch of research on destination weddings and we learned that couples are holding destination weddings within the US just to go to a more affordable wedding market.

Christa Innis: Wow, that’s,

Sara Margulis: isn’t that interesting?

Christa Innis: Yeah. And kind of then just turning that trip into their honeymoon Probably. Yeah.

Sara Margulis: Not nec. No, they’re not even, they’re still taking a separate honeymoon, but they’re having a destination wedding just because wherever they live is just too expensive to plan a wedding.

Yeah. Isn’t that fascinating?

Christa Innis: And it’s wild how it changes from state to state. Yes, definitely. I’m in Wisconsin and I think they’re, I mean, we went pretty affordable for ours, so I think, I shouldn’t say, or affordable, it was still on the, it was still up there, but, I hear like California or New York price, like downtown New York prices.

I’m like, woo. New York though.

Sara Margulis: the New York wedding industry is almost a completely different beast all on its own and it influences so much of the rest of the industry, I think really unfairly, because the big sites like the Knot and WeddingWire, you know, are out of New York and.

It’s just not real. it’s just New York. like I said, you can do a wedding in a public park with no venue cost, you know, with your friend ordained online, no efficient cost at a cake that you buy at Whole Foods or whatever your local grocery store like what you need is your love.

That’s it. and you can build from there. If you kind of start with this like, okay, what’s like the minimum? We need to do this? And then just build from there. Okay, this is important to us. That’s important to us. Yeah. We can afford that. Yeah. We’re willing to spend our money on that. you’ll come up with something that I think is truly authentic and fun and unique for your friends and family and like so supportive of your financial picture and your future together.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yeah. I’ve been to some beautiful weddings that were like DIY. Under a tent and it looked great. And it’s just about having that eye and it’s intimate, it’s small. Yeah. And then I’ve been to huge weddings that they spent a lot of money and they were beautiful, but that was what was important to them.

Right. And it looked great and they had the funds for it. Right. Right. And I think a lot of it is like comparison and people follow these, like, influencers in New York and they’re like, oh my gosh, that’s how much I have to spend. Oh my gosh, I’m gonna go broke. And it’s like, no. Yeah, you don’t have to do that.

Sara Margulis: Yeah. Actually, I’m gonna tell you a quick little side story right now because, I’ve been working with a reporter that, writes for the New York Times for a couple years on a story about the real cost of weddings. And I don’t mean like the super expensive New York weddings, I mean everyday weddings that couples are having that are so cool and unique and financially accessible.

And the fact that like 30,000 might still be the average, but it’s not actually the most common budget anymore. that’s skewed by like very, very expensive. Like the New York weddings we’re talking about. and just, kind of like resetting expectations about what it actually cost you to plan a wedding.

The story that came out was like, completely not that. It was just like, this is why weddings are so expensive and this is where you’re gonna have to spend. And I was just like pulling my hair. I’m like, no, this, it’s just an unrealistic, like expectation and it’s a false sort of like, I don’t know.

I think it’s misleading. I really encourage couples not to buy into it because it’s just like any other industry or business, you know? Mm-hmm. They’re gonna try to get you to feel like if I don’t do that, I’m gonna regret it forever. That sort of emotional, sort of FOMO based marketing in the wedding industry really gets my blood boiling.

Christa Innis: Yes. No, for sure. I work in marketing too, and I feel like I can seek stuff like that out. it’s funny ’cause even like, some sales stuff, I feel like my husband’s so quick to be like, oh, that’s a great deal. And I’ll be like, weren’t they just that? You know, like I can, kind of scope some of that stuff up.

Yeah,

Sara Margulis: it kind of goes to like, back, and I don’t even know if they say this anymore, but like, back to like engagement rings, they’d be like, oh, he should spend six months of his salary on an engagement ring, or her dress should cost this much. And it’s just like, why are we setting these expectations for other people?

Christa Innis: Yeah. Not knowing their job, their budget, their interests.

Sara Margulis: yeah,

Christa Innis: for me, like I just said, like my dress was, I wanted a beautiful dress. Yes. But I did not wanna spend $10,000 or $5,000 on a dress. That just wasn’t me.

Sara Margulis: I know. And I’m so glad you mentioned diamonds because, They have these beautiful lab grown diamonds now literally can’t tell the difference.

Nobody would know. Even like a moist aite is like gorgeous. like I have a five carat moist aite that I wear a lot, and I have to be careful when I wear it because people are like, damn, she’s got money. You know, like if I had it to do over again, I would, be smart about where to put that money because we did some math on like the typical or the, quote, average wedding price of $35,000.If you invested that on day one of your marriage, you would have 1.2 million for retirement so, like that’s what you’re not getting by spending that much money on your wedding day. When you think about it that way, it’s like a totally different perspective, you know? Yeah.

It makes you make different choices.

Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s wild. You got, it’s like you gotta take the pressure off of like take off the blinders of what everyone’s trying to tell you to do and just yeah. Look at what’s in front of you. Talk to your partner. Yeah. What do we wanna do? Yeah. Like, you know, everybody else.

It’s definitely easy to fall into the trap of like, well, they got married in this palace and it was so beautiful. And it’s like, is that feasible?

Sara Margulis: Yeah. Like, you

Christa Innis: wanna get married there,

Sara Margulis: or,

Christa Innis: yeah.

Sara Margulis: Right. I mean, yes, of course we all want to stay in the most luxurious, you know, villa on our trips or whatever, but like, you can have an incredible experience and make it affordable.

And that’s why, you know, on Honeyfund, you’re not gonna find that kind of like FOMO based, like marketing messaging. You’re not gonna find this whole world of like these real weddings that are just way out of your price point and make you feel like less than. We just help you share the details of your, day, get some money to help fund your, wedding or honeymoon or whatever savings goal.

We have RSVP and guest management. We try to just be like a simple alternative to those like

Christa Innis: mm-hmm.

Sara Margulis: Overblown wedding planning sites.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I love that. All right. I got a little sidetracked from the rapid fire, but so did

Sara Margulis: I. That wasn’t rapid at all. Yeah,

Rapid Fire Truths: Honeymoon Planning, Timing, and Money Mistakes

Christa Innis: I know. I love it. Okay, I’ll do a couple more and then we’ll get into this week’s story submission.

Okay. So now we’re running a little, a little late. Okay. let’s see. Do you think couples should delay the honeymoon to save money or take it right away and then we kinda just talked about this, but

Sara Margulis: Delay it [honeymoon] only if it’s gonna make it like a much better trip for you and it’s gonna cost you less, but otherwise take it right away.

Yeah.

Christa Innis: What’s your thought on like surprise honeymoons? Because I’ve seen a couple times where there’s surprise honeymoons, whether it’s like the groom plans it or someone a family member plans it for the couple. What are your thoughts on that?

Sara Margulis: If it’s a travel planner doing it and they’ve interviewed you extensively about what kind of trip you want? Yes. Or if you both just love to be surprised. Yes. Otherwise hell no.

Christa Innis: Yeah. That was my thought when I first read about a story like that, I was like, I would hate that.

Sara Margulis: Yeah. No, let, let me plan more on that. Unless you’re both like that personality or like I said, somebody whose job it is to plan awesome trips and, make sure you love it, but not like an in-law or a friend.

No way. Jose,

Christa Innis: right? Yes. You’ve been on one of their great trips and you’re like, okay, I know what they know what they’re doing. Yes. Yes. I’ll do that. Okay. I love that. 

The Wedding Calm Before the Chaos.

Christa Innis: Okay. Let’s get to this week’s wedding story submission. Here we go. Feel free to stop me at any time or we’ll kind of just pause and react.

Okay. Okay. Going into my wedding day, I was honestly bracing for chaos. Knowing my mother-in-law, I was sure something would go down. I’d experienced her episodes before and let’s just say I have some stories. Seriously, let me know if you want more. She has a long history of taking her anger towards her ex-husbands out on my husband and I truly thought she might ruin our day, especially because she was going to be there alongside her first husband and his wife and her second husband and his wife.

A full soap opera cast y’all. But somehow against all odds, the wedding itself was perfect. Not a single issue. Everyone behaved. It was peaceful, joyful, and completely drama free. That’s amazing. I was like, you glad your job free

Sara Margulis: to. Thanks

Christa Innis: so much. Story over

Sara Margulis: Christa.

Christa Innis: It was great talking to you. That was it.

Stolen Car Keys, Police Threats, and a Mother-in-Law Meltdown

Alright. Yeah, yeah. How disappointing would that be if people are like, okay, I’m ready. And I’m like, drama free guys. There was nothing for the first time ever. Yeah. she goes until the next morning. So at least the mom held it off the wedding day, which is on the wedding day, which I would say it’s pretty polite to like, you know?

Mm-hmm. Bare minimum, but yeah. Okay. For some, like her, she had gifted us a hotel room at Embassy Suites for wedding night. Very thoughtful. What we didn’t know, she also booked herself a room at the same hotel. So the morning after, my husband and I head down for what we think will be our first quiet breakfast together as newlyweds.

We walk in and there she is frantically waving from across the breakfast lounge. We were stunned, but okay. We go over and say hi. She invites us to eat with her. we didn’t really want to, but out of politeness, we sit down. See, for me, I’m like, we all, actually, I think my husband and I stayed at like a bed and breakfast in the same tone, but we ended up going to the hotel to like go see everybody.

Yeah. You

Sara Margulis: wanted to see these people. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn’t sound like this bride wanted to see her mother-in-law the next morning.

Christa Innis: Right. It sounds to me like. She almost made it sound like the mother-in-law when she booked it, made it sound like, oh, I got you guys a nice room over at the Embassy Suites.

Mm-hmm. So they’re like, oh, awesome. This is really nice. Right. We walk down, surprise. Yeah. Small talk starts and then she drops it. So how was your first night? We awkwardly respond fine. What else do you say to your mom-in-law? And then the real drama begins? She says, I need a ride to the airport. 

Mind you, there were over 20 family members staying nearby, all flying out that day. Any one of them could have taken her, but she insists that we, the just married couple must do it even though it would add two hours to our already nine hour drive to our honeymoon in Orlando. Oh my God. We respectfully decline and offer to pay a hundred dollars for a cab instead.

That’s when she completely loses it. Right there in the lobby, in front of staff, in front of other guests. She calls us selfish saying We’re ungrateful for the $300 room she paid for. Then she tells us she’s keeping our car keys to my husband’s BMW, which she had driven the night before until we change our minds.

Oh my goodness. Wow. Oh wow. So this is like a full on like tantrum now to like get Yeah.

Sara Margulis: I just, I can’t even imagine like ruining someone’s morning after like that. what in the world. It’s like she

Christa Innis: had this planned all along to be like, oh, I’m gonna make this hotel room for them, so that’s gonna be my nice deed.

Right. But I’ll be there. Yeah. they have no other choice but to drive me.

Sara Margulis: Ugh. God, I’m kind of speechless, to be honest. Krisa like, first of all, nobody has any business expecting anything from a wedding couple in the first couple weeks of marriage. Like they’re in their honeymoon phase, like, second of all, like I don’t imagine the mother-in-law is thinking ahead of like, okay, well this is my daughter-in-law now forever, hopefully. and like I’m gonna start my relationship with her as her official mother-in-law by being a total bee. Like, I just don’t,

Christa Innis: yeah. That’s what always confuses me about these kind of stories.

I’m like, don’t they want to see their son or child more? And I feel like they don’t realize or think through that. Like, if they act this way, they’re gonna see them less and less because no one’s gonna wanna be around them.

Sara Margulis: Yeah. Yeah. I think it’s honestly as the mother of, both a son and a daughter, and having a brother too.

It’s different for the mother of the groom. because in families, you know, women often kind of take the lead on social stuff and they tend to just be more comfortable with and gravitate towards their own family. So you’re gonna find your, precious baby boy spending less time with you and more time with her family.

Right. And that’s just kind of the way life is. so I think if you wanna mitigate that, you gotta be pretty nice. Yes. Yeah. if you just wanna throw a tantrum about that Sure. Throw your tantrum, but it’s not gonna help you make it better.

Christa Innis: Yeah, no, exactly. she screams it’s your duty as my only son to protect me and get me to the airport and storms off with our keys.

Also knowing that they have to drive to their honeymoon already nine hours away. I know. I’m like, I wanna buy them a plane ticket right now. I know, I know. And it’s not like this is like an airport down the road. She’s, they said another two hours to the airport, or at least one there, one back.

Sara Margulis: and, but I’m like psychologically breaking down this woman, like the line like, you’re my only son.

You have to protect me, is exactly what the mother of a son would be afraid of, that now all of a sudden, all the attention she got from her son is now gonna go to this new wife and she’s gonna be left alone. I, I mean look, all the villains have a backstory, right? Like mm-hmm. Does not excuse the behavior, but you can kind of see how that somebody with not great skills, and anger management problems would be like acting this way if they’re afraid of losing their kid, you know?

Christa Innis: Yes. I love that you said that because one of my most popular like storylines that I’m doing the Ferris and Sloan one, I’m doing the prequel right now of like. The whole thing starts with like, she wants to invite herself on like her son and his girlfriend at the Time’s, like vacation. Yeah.

She’s like, I wanna come. It’s like he’s gonna propose she wants to go. And it’s this whole storyline. And so I’m doing the prequel now. Like it, I did three seasons of it. People like ate it up. They love the story. Oh, that’s so cool. And it’s so, yeah. It’s been so much fun. And so I’m in the prequel now, kind of showing like how she was raised.

Oh. And like kind of showing all that. And that’s the thing we keep saying is like, it doesn’t excuse the behavior, it’s just explaining it.

Sara Margulis: Yeah. Where this, I feel like the first season of White Lotus had a mother-in-law like this where she showed up on their honeymoon, right? In Hawaii. Wait, yeah.

I’m trying to think. I love White Lotus. I’m trying to think of It’s the best. It’s, yeah, the first season was in Hawaii and there was, that couple where the, husband was kind of a jerk and his mom shows up on the honeymoon. And the mom was played by somebody from SNLI wanna say.

Christa Innis: like who was the cast?

Sara Margulis: That was the one with, Aubrey. What’s her name? I’m so bad at remembering actors’ names.

Christa Innis: Um, Aubrey Plaza. Yeah, she was, or was she in the second season in, Italy, I think, right? Oh yeah,

Sara Margulis: that’s right. Yeah. Was

Christa Innis: it Italy?

Sara Margulis: Wait, hold on. Yeah. Italy was season two. Thailand was season three. Yeah. Oh my gosh.

Christa Innis: Yes. the one with Molly Shannon.

Sara Margulis: Molly Shannon played the mother-in-law. Exactly.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Yeah. I need to go back and watch it, but showed up on the honeymoon. Yeah, you gotta go back and watch it. Oh, that’s wild. I kind of forgot about that storyline, that one was probably the best season.

It was so good. They’re all so good. They’re all so good. Yeah. I have to go back and watch that. It is like a very popular trope of like Yes. That she can’t distance herself. yeah. She can’t let go of her son.

Sara Margulis: Mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: And especially like this one, it shows like both of her ex-husbands are there with their new wife, so I’m sure that adds to the like, I need you son.

Like, you’re my man. You’re my guy. Yes. Which

Sara Margulis: is also just so creepy and weird.

Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s that enmeshment of like, yes. You can’t see herself as a separate person from. Exactly. she said the hotel. Okay. We’re not even done with

Sara Margulis: the story yet.

Christa Innis: Okay. Keep going. No, there’s a little bit more. Okay. She said the hotel staff was just standing there wide-eyed.

We go to the front desk. The woman working had seen everything and was incredibly kind. We asked her to call my mother-in-law’s room since she was ignoring our calls, so she literally ran away with their keys to her room. Wow. She does. And when my husband gets on the phone, my mother-in-law is yelling so loudly that people can hear her without speakerphone.

Wow. She refuses to return the keys. At this point, we’re wasting our honeymoon morning. So we text her, leave the keys at the front desk. They know it’s our car. If not, we’ll file a police report. We pack up and decide to take my car instead. At least they both have a car there.

As we head toward the lot, I suddenly hear my husband say, Kat, get in the car now. I run to the car. And just in time to see her sprinting towards him, and she throws the keys at his face. Oh my God, this is wild. I’m like picturing this in like a parking

Sara Margulis: lot. Wow. the words that I wanna use right now are not suitable for podcasts, but Oh wow.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. that is insane. It’s because she didn’t get what she wanted. She thought by them saying like she thought. By her like withholding the keys. They’d be like, okay, you know what, we’ll

Sara Margulis: take you. They’d have to do what she wanted and good for them, honestly, as a team for setting a boundary.

Because issues with in-laws come up all the time, all day, every day. Right. And like when it comes to a marriage, a marriage is different than just like being boyfriend girlfriend or dating someone because you really, really have to have each other’s back first before anyone else in your life. That’s what makes marriage work.

And, avoid talking about tough stuff that you’re going through with them, with your family, even a lot of your friends, because it’s gonna set up this sort of like, me versus him, kind of a dynamic. Yeah. When you’re really, I love what this couple did. They stuck together. they called the bluff.

They were like, look, we’re not gonna let your tantrum throw off our day. leave our keys or, you know, we’ll act accordingly and. It worked like good for them. That was like honestly some of the best like training for marriage right there. and they passed the test.

Christa Innis: They leaped over that hurdle.

Literally they did it, they really did handle it very well of just being like, you know what, like almost treating it like, a toddler. Okay. Yeah. If you’re gonna act that way, we’re gonna just figure out, we’re gonna keep going this way because you’re just not Sorry. You know what

Sara Margulis: I wanna do? I don’t know if you can do this, but like I would really love to send them a little gift and like congratulate them on getting through that in a graceful way.

Christa Innis: I’ll have to see. Yeah. When they like sent it. I do have their, this person’s information, so I’ll have to see like when they sent it. But we have these really sweet Honey Ben Stanley’s

Sara Margulis: that we could send them.

Choosing Peace Over Chaos (Even When It’s Family)

Christa Innis: Oh, cute. Oh, I love that. That’s so cute. She then storms off again. I check on him. We get in the car and finally we drive off.

Still married, still heading to our honeymoon, but absolutely stunned. And sadly, this wasn’t the last of it over the past 10 years. Okay. So this was 10 years ago. Wow.

Sara Margulis: Oh my God. Noticed. This was 10 years ago.

Christa Innis: We’ve dealt with stunt after stunt, emotional manipulation, dramatic scenes, chaos at every family gathering.

But this was the first of many wild moments. She’s thrown our way. And finally, this year, for the sake of our children, we’ve made the decision to significantly limit contact. Wow. So it took 10 years of manipulation and dramatic scenes, all that stuff to finally be like, okay, you’re limited.I don’t even know if I’d want someone like that around my children knowing they’re gonna throw something or

Sara Margulis: It’s hard.

Yeah. It’s hard

Christa Innis: having

Sara Margulis: problematic grandparents. The kids figure it out though, you know, they make their own decisions. Like, eh, we don’t like hanging out with that person.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I feel like kids are so in tune to people. Mm-hmm. That they’re just like, they go with their gut for sure. They’re not like adults where we can kind of like smile and be okay. They’re like, no, I don’t want. Yeah, yeah, exactly. so she just ends with saying, because peace is better than chaos and eventually boundaries have to be drawn, even if it takes a decade to get there. And then she said, PS I love all your stories.

I relate to Sloan. So the story I was telling you about has Ferris and Sloan. So she says, I relate to Sloane, which is. Funny.

Sara Margulis: That’s awesome. Wow. Well, that’s a wild story. That’s I the twist of the 10 years later at the end. I was not expecting that. That was great.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And I’m sure that image, like is still in her head so fresh because it was such a high intense moment.

 and I love how he protected her too in those moments. He was like, with her on the boundary, he was like, I’m protecting you. Yeah. but I still have a lot of questions like how you would keep, I mean, I’m sure it’s very nuanced and very complicated, but it’s like after that, like what was the next step after that?

You know, they go on their honeymoon, it’s just like, is the mom still not understanding she did anything wrong? And yeah. How you keep that going for 10 years?

Sara Margulis: It’s so hard to like deal with children in grownup bodies. Yeah. But I think having kids probably gave them a new perspective on like her behavior and like, oh, we’re just actually dealing with a child here, and you gotta have boundaries.

Yep. Yeah. Absolutely.

Christa Innis: Well, all right, well,

Sara Margulis: thank you for sharing that story. That was fun.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. That was, I mean, not for

Sara Margulis: them, but, you know. Yeah.

Christa Innis: It’s always like a twisted and seen coming. yeah. But yeah, I know we get so many stories and I’m always just like, they shock me every time. It’s wild. Wow.

Wow. what helps, I feel like a lot of people tell me too, they’re like, it actually helped. They’ll say this like, helped me to write it all out. They’re like, I never told anyone it this way. Hmm. it really helped me get through my feelings or understand like, whoa, this was really toxic. Because when you’re in the moment, sometimes you don’t see it that way.

Oh, for sure.

Sara Margulis: lose perspective.

Christa Innis: Yeah. okay. So I always like to end these with a couple of confessions that people send me on social media. So let’s read

Sara Margulis: Ooh Confessions. I love it.

Christa Innis: All right. It says, at my sister’s wedding, one of her bridesmaids didn’t get her a gift, and I thought that was kind of weird.

What are your thoughts on that? Like, if you’re in someone’s wedding mm-hmm. Should you automatically get them a gift?

Sara Margulis: there’s more to consider in this situation than just a typical wedding guest, because that bridesmaid’s already gone to some, probably considerable expense to bring the gift of her presence to the wedding, right?

however, and I’ve been in that situation at a time in my life, in my twenties when I didn’t really have a lot of money to get a gift. But what I would do is I would like, make something, or like buy something similar to what they registered for that I could afford. I think just the token gift, something meaningful and like,

 personal mm-hmm. Shows that you are celebrating their, day, with a gift. But again, gift is always at the discretion of the giver. And if that bridesmaid really felt like she poured her heart and her budget into that person’s wedding, and that was the gift, I don’t really think it’s something that you can hold against her.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I agree. I feel like that was so well said. And I feel like there’s been weddings that, like were very DIY that I was a part of, and I done did so much, and I had the brides be like, please don’t get me a gift. Yeah. And even when I gave it to them, they ripped up the check.

Like I, one in particular, she was like, no, I’m literally not accepting this. Aw. And then I had other ones that were like, same thing. They were like, please don’t feel like you have to like, get me a gift that you would as a guest because you’ve mm-hmm. Been a part of the bachelorette party.

You bought a dress. do think it’s kind of like, murky area there. Mm-hmm. If you wanna give a gift, do it. Mm-hmm. But I guess it doesn’t feel like. I know you do put in a lot being in a wedding party as well. Yeah. And

Sara Margulis: I mean, you know, you can write the bride and ice card and say, look, being in your wedding has been such an honor.

 unfortunately I’m out of budget for like, something from your registry, but I would love to give you this handmade friendship bracelet to honor, how much you mean to me or something. Yeah. You know, just anything personal. Yeah, definitely. Yeah,

Christa Innis: because like, again, like after my wedding, I wasn’t like checking the box of like, oh, this bridesmaid or this groomsman didn’t get us a gift.

Like, I was so happy to be surrounded by our family and friends. So that was not a concern to me. they got the suit or they got the dress. I’m like, you guys are awesome. okay, lemme just read a couple more. my uncle invited random strangers to my cocktail hour.

Sara Margulis: Was that cute?

Christa Innis: I’m like, he’s like, oh, I’m single. I’m gonna

Sara Margulis: invite some people here. I’m gonna bring some rows.

Christa Innis: Oh my.

Sara Margulis: Was that it? Okay. That was it. Um, yeah, go ahead. yeah. No, it’s just, that was it. Okay. oh, okay. My uncle our cocktail hour. So that’s like after the ceremony. Before the, yeah. Huh.

Christa Innis: did they stay for the reception or are they just like hanging out just so you free drinks, you’re not allowed

Sara Margulis: to invite your own people to someone’s wedding. That’s just a no-no. Um, yeah, please don’t

Christa Innis: do that.

Sara Margulis: If you wanna bring a date and the date wasn’t explicitly like a plus one on the invitation. I’ve been in situations where I checked in with a couple about that. Like, Hey, I’m not sure the way this was written. Is this a plus one or not? but yeah, no, you don’t get to make your own.

Invitations to someone’s wedding. It’s just not the way it works.

Christa Innis: Yeah. One of our guests quit their job to attend our wedding. Whoa. That’s a friend. I mean, hopefully, or maybe it was like they were just done with this job. Yeah. And they were like, you can’t take off for the wedding.

And they were kinda like, screw you. That, that’s kind of what I’m thinking must have happened, because I’ve heard of that, where they’re just like, this is my moment. Like, I’m not missing my best friend’s wedding or something.

Sara Margulis: Yeah. But like, obviously it sucks when you can’t be in two places at once and like you really wanna, I’ve, there are weddings that I did not go to that I still regret to this day not being there.

But there was nothing I could do. it was like I was pregnant and I couldn’t fly or I think that, you know. don’t do something like that unless you already wanted to quit and you got a plan to like go get another job or whatever. And then you wanna take a few days off to like rage with your friends while they get married.

Cool. all for it. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Honestly, that sounds like something I would’ve done like maybe in my early twenties if I was just like already over a toxic job or something. Something a hundred percent. Yes. Like, get me out of here. You know what, that was my sign.

Sara Margulis: Yeah. and then you could, it’s kind of a fun story.

Like, oh yeah. You know, I quit my job for these guys. You know, it’s like you tell it for the rest of your life. Whatever. Yeah.

Christa Innis: True friend right here. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Well thank you so much for coming on. It was so great meeting you after hearing like knowing so much about your brand and your company.

 I just think it’s great. I’ve talked about Honeymoon Honey. Fon honey. Oh my gosh. Honey Fund and Honeymoons. so many times on the podcast of just, I think it’s such a fun concept and how like we’re just kind of changing the concept over time of like gift giving as well.

Sara Margulis: Thank you Christa. Thank you for being a fan and supporting the cause and yeah, this was so much fun, such a different kind of podcast than I’ve ever been on before and I loved it.

Thank you so much for having me. Oh

Christa Innis: good. And for everyone listening, where can they follow you? Follow Honey Fund and see what’s coming up next?

Sara Margulis: Yeah, well, honey honeyfund.com you can download the app in the app stores, follow us on Instagram, TikTok. I would say we’re most active on those platforms.

And then if you’re interested in, entrepreneurship or other things like that, you could find me on LinkedIn. I write a lot of, content around, running a business and, you know, travel and relationships and you know, I’d love to connect with you.

Christa Innis: Awesome. Well thank you so much.

Sara Margulis: Thanks Christa. Have a great day.

Christa Innis: You too.

by Christa Innis

One-Year Anniversary Special: Audience Favorites, BIG Giveaway & a Toxic Engagement Story

Older. Employed. Owned a car. Buying a house. Apparently, those were the “red flags.”

This week marks one year of Here Comes The Drama (yay!), and I’m sharing a deeply personal, most bizarre wedding story where an engagement triggered years of emotional manipulation, financial pressure, and escalating abuse. From blessing requests gone wrong to explosive ultimatums, we unpack how toxic family dynamics can surface during major life milestones. This story is heavy, but important.

Plus, we’re celebrating one year of Here Comes The Drama! 🎉 Subscribe to my podcast and YouTube channel, and comment “Entered” on this episode’s YouTube video for a chance to win one $150 Visa gift card or one of two $25 Amazon gift cards. Winners will be announced on March 12.

JOIN ME IN GREECE OCTOBER 2026!

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

Get the book!

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • The Podcast Turns One – We’re celebrating one full year of Here Comes The Drama with a special giveaway: a $150 Visa gift card or one of two $25 Amazon gift cards.
  • Would You Rather: Wedding Edition – I’m answering your toughest “would you rather” wedding dilemmas, from feuding relatives to money with strings attached, during our one year special episode.
  • The “Blessing” That Became an Interrogation – What should’ve been a respectful conversation spirals into grilling, accusations, and power plays.
  • Control Disguised as Concern – Parents frame normal age gaps, financial stability, and independence as red flags to maintain control.
  • Financial Manipulation & Wedding Ultimatums – From demanding a master’s degree to refusing wedding support, money becomes leverage.
  • The Attic Incident – Screaming, verbal abuse, and a father apologizing to the boyfriend instead of his daughter push everything over the edge.
  • Choosing Safety & Ending the Cycle – Moving out, going no contact, and protecting future children becomes the ultimate act of healing.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  • Control doesn’t always show up as anger, sometimes it shows up as “concern.”
  • When your independence threatens someone, the behavior will escalate.
  • Green flags can look like red flags to people who benefit from your dependence. 
  • Money with strings attached is never a gift. Protecting your peace sometimes means choosing distance, even when it’s painful. 
  • Ending the cycle is an act of love for the next generation.

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hey everybody. Welcome back to another episode of, here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis, and I’m extra excited for you guys to be here today because it’s our one year anniversary. I can’t believe I’m saying that out loud because I still remember the. Coming up with this idea, feeling like it was so out of my reach.

And here it is. I just am so grateful to all of you guys for listening to sending in stories, to just sharing your support. It just means so much to me. So before I get too mushy and share too much about the podcast, I wanna read, this week’s review. It’s from Lady Tony. It says, when I was pregnant with my daughter in 2024, I got hooked with the skits on Insta.

Then I came across this podcast, craving for Drama. Satisfied. I love that because we all secretly, or maybe not so secretly, love the drama. Especially when it’s not our own. that’s the reason why, you know, I came up with this podcast. You guys wanted more stories, you wanted to hear more stories, talk more, hear more drama.

 and you guys were sending me so many, and this is a fun way to share more of myself, to meet other people. It’s been a lot of fun. so before we jump into the full part of the episode, like I said, I wanna just celebrate something big here and that is, the podcast is a year old today. We also hit 250,000 downloads, which was well beyond my expectations.

I think I’ve said this before, but I thought we were gonna hit like 25,000 in the first year. That was my initial goal. so I’m just blown away by the support, the love, all the stories you guys share with me, people willing to come on the podcast. I’ve met so many amazing people that have been, just.

Eager to come on the podcast and just be real and have conversation. and it’s been really great for me to just expand because as I’ve said before, you know, I work from home. My husband works from home, and I, you know, it’s great to just meet people, but with having a toddler, we don’t. Always get out as much as we want to.

 and so this is a great way to meet people from all over the world, all over the country. And, that’s just been such a blessing, such a gift to be able to do that. 

The One Year Anniversary Giveaway 

So, to say thank you to you guys after my blabbing here, I wanna tell you guys that I am doing a one year giveaway. not to be confused with the giveaway I’m doing for the new year.

It’s a little different, so pay attention to, to these specific details. but first I wanna share some fun stats about this podcast. So in the year, we have done 52 episodes. We had 34 unique guests. Many were on multiple times. I think maybe like five to 10 were on multiple times. I know my best friend, Yvette has been on like three or four at this point.

 and some of the people I’ve interviewed, their episodes have not come out yet. And then I have some in my roster that are scheduled and have not been interviewed yet. So lots more exciting episodes coming out. This podcast has reached 50 different countries, including obviously the United States, well, Canada, United Kingdom, Australia, Germany, New Zealand.

Ireland, Sweden, Philippines, Netherlands, Denmark, Norway, India, Mexico, France, South Africa, and many, many more. so that’s very exciting. And yes, I know the UK includes many different countries. just kind of looking at my stats here quickly. so it’s just. Mind blowing to me still, just to know how many of you guys listen to it every single week.

And it makes me that much more excited to, also putting a lot more pressure on myself, but more excited to get the content out to you. So back to this giveaway, one listener will win a $150 Visa gift card, and two listeners are going to win a $25 Amazon gift card. So to enter, make sure you subscribe to the podcast.

 subscribe to my YouTube channel and comment. Entered. The reason we are doing YouTube is because that’s an actual trackable way. I can’t see if you’re subscribed and I don’t have a list of subscribers, on my podcast. So unfortunately I can’t do it that way. So subscribe to my YouTube channel and then for this video, just come underneath it.

Just say Entered. You can say like, Hey, I love your channel. Hey, this is my favorite video. Hey, I’m getting married this year. Hey, I love the color purple. And then put entered if you want, just for a little extra detail, whatever that is. just comment on this video. We upload all of my podcast episodes on YouTube full, and then we do little clips as well.

So we’ll make it very clear which video we’ll put on the cover, so you know which one to put on there. So again, $150 Visa gift card for the grand prize winner. and then two $25 Amazon gift card winners. So, super easy to enter. Subscribe to my YouTube channel, and comment entered on the video.

And just to say, just to cover all my bases, this giveaway’s not affiliated with or sponsored by YouTube, apple Podcast, Spotify, Amazon, or Visa. It’s just. My personal way of giving back to you guys and saying thank you. All right. That was enough blabbing for today. But you know what, who am I? What am I saying?

Would You Rather — Weddings, Boundaries, and Hard Calls

We’re getting into more blabbing now. So let’s get into today’s episode. you would think I’d be a little more well rested for this episode. I’m currently drinking this Gorge Energy drink, not sponsored at all. my husband put this in my stocking this year. Isn’t it cute? If you’re looking at the video,

More caffeine than I’m used to. I did not get great sleep last night. It’s been a doozy. and yeah, we stayed up too late watching Stranger Things. I’ll get into that later. Okay. Let’s get into, would you rather, and then I have a long story so I don’t wanna take up too much time before that, would you rather seat feuding relatives together or leave one uninvited and deal with it forever?

Ooh, that’s hard. Seat feuding relatives together or leave one uninvited. That’s gonna depend on my own personal relationship with them. Right. I hate causing drama or like causing something to happen. But if I’m thinking of like a situation where two people just can’t get along and, let’s say it’s someone that’s like closer to me, I would probably rather just not have someone invited if I knew they were gonna cause more drama at the wedding,

 seeing people together that I know aren’t gonna get along is just, it’s just asking for it at that point. So I think I’d rather just not invite one of the party. Okay. Two, would you rather your dad be late walking you down the aisle or your stepparent insist on being included last minute? I think I’d rather have my dad be late walking me down the aisle.

Hopefully not too late. cause that’s a problem. But again, all these things are very nuanced because if you’re close with your stepparent, I would hope you kind of include them in some way. It doesn’t have to be like them walking you down the aisle, but maybe you give them flowers and take photos with them ahead of time.

Maybe you do like a special moment with them. but again, it’s gonna depend on how close you are. If your stepparent is insisting, then my thought is maybe you’re not that close, so that’s why I’m gonna go with the late dad. Okay. Would you rather cover costs for a broke bridesmaid or ask for a step down?

Absolutely cover the cost. If this person means enough to me where I ask them to be in the wedding, I would absolutely be like, don’t worry about it. I will cover it for you. I’ve been in, not my own wedding, but I’ve been in other weddings where, a friend of mine reached out to me as like the maid of honor and was like.

You know what? I’m in three other weddings this year. I don’t think I can afford the bachelorette party. And I said, if you really wanna go, I will cover it for you. Like don’t worry about it. Please. Like, I wanna make sure you’re there for blank, actually come to think of it, I did have a couple bridesmaids, I wouldn’t say broke bridesmaids at all.

I’m not calling them that, but other ones that had other obligations like maybe other vacations planned or, they were having a baby other things going on where I just told them like, let me know where I can step in. I would never ask them to step down if they couldn’t afford something because the reason I’m asking someone to be in my wedding is ’cause they mean a lot to me.

 so I don’t know. I just don’t like that of like, oh, you can’t afford this, or You don’t wanna spend this. You can’t stand up in my wedding. Nah. Would you rather your maid of honor, ghost planning, or take over everything? that’s a tough one. I had the most amazing maid of honor, Yvette, who’s been on my podcast many times.

She would never either. God, I’m so bad because it’s like I can’t just pick one. Okay, I’m gonna pick one. I’m gonna say take over everything. I would rather, because think about this. If your maid of honor is ghosting you, they don’t care. They don’t wanna be there, they don’t wanna be a part of your wedding.

Who knows what’s gonna happen to your relationship after your wedding day. so there’s a lot of things, a lot of issues going on there. So if I can have them just take over the wedding. Hopefully they’re good at it. I don’t know. Okay. would you rather someone bring an uninvited plus one or bring their kids to a child free wedding?

Ooh, gosh. These are tough ones.

I think I would rather have someone bring an uninvited plus one. Because a very, a specified child-free wedding is not gonna be set up for more kids. Plus I think that’s gonna cause more drama. ’cause imagine if there was someone else that was like, oh, I can’t bring my kids. Okay, I’ll leave them at home.

Or I’ll call a babysitter or whatever. And then they come and this other person came with their kids. So I think that’s gonna cause more drama, an uninvited plus one.

Course, depending on the person, but, I think that’s fine. ultimately it’s not fine, but I think that’s better. maybe they just needed a ride or, I don’t know. They don’t wanna come alone either or not ideal. Would you rather have a guest leave early and post about it or stay and complain the entire night?

Well, if they’re posting about it, are they posting like. Why they left earlier, why the wedding stopped? ’cause that’s what I’m thinking. Leave and post about it because if it’s my wedding day, I am not paying attention to what people are posting. I’m not gonna see until the next day. So sorry. If they took the time out to post about why they left my wedding early, then it had more of an impact on them than they would like to think.

Okay. Would you rather go over budget or cut your guest list in half? That’s hard because to me, people were the most important thing to me when planning everything out. it was really hard. There were a few people that were like on the, I don’t know, like I haven’t talked to ’em in a couple years, but when we were friends or when we did work together, we were really close.

So there was a lot of people like that. Cutting in half would be really hard though.

Now, I think I would say I would rather. Cut my guess list in half. Then I think I’d rather go a little over budget. It just depends on how much. Right. okay, last one. Would you rather accept money with strings attached or pay for everything yourself? Pay for everything myself, I’ve talked about this before.

We had help on both sides and then we paid for a good chunk ourselves. but we never had any meddling parents. both of our parents, or say all four of our parents were so helpful. They never overstepped. They, they’re talented in their own ways. And so I just found different ways to include each of them, especially our moms.

Um. Never did they once say, I’m taking this from you, I’m doing this, or go behind my back and change something. They were both so supportive, um, and they would never hold money or gifts over our head. Um, so yeah, I, I always really sympathize with people that have to kind of like balance it all out because.

In general, even though it is a gift, you do feel like, okay, they gave this to me, so I want to give that same respect back. I’ve never been in a, like in a bad relationship where it’s like a mother-in-law or a mom like holding money over the head, being like, okay, if I give you this money though, I get to invite my 50 friends from church, or I get to, um.

Change up the flowers or I get to, you know, whatever. I’ve never personally had to deal with that, so I’m, I’m sure it’s very difficult when you’re in that position. 

When an Engagement Triggers Control, Not Celebration

All right, let’s get into it. This week’s line reaction, wedding story submission. All right. Huge fan of your videos for years. I actually started watching them while I was engaged, and the Ferris and Sloan saga genuinely got me through the worst of it.

Oh my gosh. Okay. I, I’m trying to think of how to say this. I love hearing that. But I also hate hearing that, if you know what I mean. Like, I hate hearing that people relate to the character so much because when I came up with it, it was just like so dramatic, so out of line, so wild. Like something I could never picture in my personal life.

Um, but I’ve had so many people say, thank you for creating this, because it allowed me to feel like heard and seen and like I wasn’t alone. Um, so. I’m glad for that part, but I’m really sorry that you had to go through this. Okay. My wedding story really began when my then boyfriend of a year and a half, and I decided we were ready to be engaged.

My parents and brothers had met him several times. I’d met his family and everything always seemed fine. My parents acted like they liked him. My mother even told extended family. We would definitely get married. When we’d only been dating for six months. Okay, wait.

So they said we’d definitely would get married when we’d only been dating for six months, which is an entirely different story. No one ever openly had a problem with him. He’s quiet and shy, and I always felt my family was intimidated by the fact that they couldn’t read or manipulate him. He didn’t give them anything to work with.

I, on the other hand, am a total blabber mouth and they often use that to make digs at me or gather information to use against me later. Oh gosh. Okay. By winter of 2021, we’d been talking seriously about engagement. We were also meeting with our priest for spiritual counseling. When we told him we were considering getting engaged, he was excited, but he also told us we need to book the date immediately.

If we wanted him to marry us within the next calendar year, there were only three slots left. Otherwise we’d have to wait an additional year, which we didn’t want, so we booked a date right then. Even though we weren’t formally engaged yet. Ooh, I like it. But I can see where the drama might come in.

There’s a lot of people that want to have a say over the date, which I don’t understand. I mean, I get like, so me personally, I get like checking in with family. Like we would, we always hold our family, like we wanna spring wedding. Um, and our venue, it was cheaper if you got married in March and on a Friday night.

So we were like, or not Friday night, but Friday. Um. So we kind of like threw that out there to like our parents at least. But everyone else we were like, if you can be there, be there. If you can’t, you can’t. Um, my boyfriend wanted to do the right thing and ask my parents for their blessing. I warned him that they were very controlling and wouldn’t be happy that they would be, that they would use the opportunity to bully him.

So you’re telling me she never saw any issues? With the family and him, or they never said anything about him, but right off the bat she’s like, they’re gonna bully you. They wanna control you, what? While he agreed it was ultimately my choice, he said he was raised to respect parents and still wanted to ask.

I reluctantly agreed and told him. I would let them know that he wanted to speak with them. Side note, I was living with my parents at the time. One morning I told my dad that my boyfriend wanted to ask him something important over Thanksgiving weekend. At first, my dad seemed excited and supportive. Then he said he needed to tell my mother.

I went to class and didn’t think much of it. When I got home, they were waiting for me and told me we needed to have a serious talk. Wait, but he didn’t even say anything yet. They must have like had like a clip. They sat me down and began grilling me with the most bizarre concerns about my boyfriend.

Okay, so this is like a bullet point list One, he was four years older than me. We were 22 and 26. Completely normal. Yeah. I think that’s a completely normal age gap. His job paid more than mine. Why is that a problem? And also what is this obsession? What people’s jobs pay If you are not paying the bills, why does it matter and how do they know what he makes?

Anyway? Three, he had a car and I didn’t, they had actively prevented me from getting a license up to that point. Okay, so they just don’t like that this guy is going to kind of be like your new family. It sounds like they were controlling you into not getting a license. Not, I mean, not getting a car.

That’s really odd to me. Number four, he was in the process of buying a house and they demanded that my name be on the title before marriage. Okay. As someone that has a daughter, if this was her partner, I feel like these are all great qualities, like he has a good paying job. He has a car, he’s in the process of buying a house.

These are all great things. You would be like, wow, he’s got his shit together. He loves you. He wants to take this to the next level. Like next step. Like why are they so like, Nope, you need to do this, this, and this. Why are these red flags to me? These are green flags. Um. Also like putting his her name on the house before marriage.

I mean, I don’t know, like legality stuff of that. I mean, I get like putting your, I mean, it’s not like she’s even talking about moving in yet, but I don’t know. Whatever. Okay. Last one. They even implied that he might be abusing me, which was completely untrue. Why would you say something like that, if anything?

He protected me from their ongoing abuse. Someone like that. And I’m not gonna make you know accusations because I’m only reading a story. I don’t know anyone in this story personally, someone that’s so used to controlling you and making choices for you. When they see another influence come in that’s allowing you to be a little more independent or kind of go away from their grasp, they’re gonna try to do all those things.

They’re gonna try to like point the finger at him and say, oh, he’s bad. He’s trying to hurt you. He’s trying to do all these things because they. They realize that when you get more independent and start thinking for yourself, you’re gonna realize that they’re the problem. On Thanksgiving day, my boyfriend still showed up, polite, respectful, and hopeful.

After dinner, he asked my father if they could talk. My father refused and said, now is not a good time. I don’t think it’s appropriate for you to ask me on Thanksgiving and make the holiday all about Jessica. Do they hate their daughter like this is, this is absurd. Like I don’t, I don’t think I ever use that word.

This is just like, yeah, I mean, in my mind, 22 is young, but that’s not for them to decide. She’s an adult. I think I was still living at home at 22, but I moved in with my boyfriend now husband at. 24. 24. I think we were dating at 23. You can’t, I mean, at that point you can’t. They just wanted her to stay like under wraps, under their control Q, the most awkward dinner imaginable.

My brothers kept making weird jokes about how women only get married because they’re gold diggers and kept putting, pushing, and kept pushing political arguments. No one wanted. Why do they hate her so much? So this was their problem with him making more money because it’s gonna look like she’s a gold digger.

I, I don’t know. This is wild. The next day was my cousin’s wedding. The whole family was acting strangely, but my boyfriend and I tried to enjoy ourselves. At the reception. I casually mentioned to my dad that I like the napkin color and would want something similar to that for my own wedding. He gave me a disturbed look and walked away without saying a word, dude, what is their problem?

‘Go Wait in the Attic’ — The Moment Everything Broke

The day after that, my boyfriend went back to my parents’ house for the conversation they had decided to have. The moment he walked in, it felt like a war room. They told him to sit down, then turned to me and told me to go wait in the attic. I wish I was kidding. Go wait. In the attic, where do you live? Is that, is that your room or do we need to call someone?

Hopefully you don’t still live there. This is like giving housemaid. Why are you in an attic and why do they want you to go there? This is scary. My boyfriend tried to insist that the conversation involved both of us, but my father demanded that I leave. I wouldn’t wanna stay with the dad. I’d be like, um, no.

She’s gonna stay with me, otherwise we’re both gonna leave for 40 minutes. They grilled him about his intentions and demanded. One that he agreed to financially support me getting a master’s degree, which I never wanted. Okay, wait. So first she’s a gold digger, but for marrying someone that’s making more money and now they’re telling him he has to financially support her in getting a master’s degree, but she never even said she wanted that.

Number two is that he put my name on the house title before marriage, even though the house was still under construction and no title even existed. This is, this is insane to me. Completely insane. I, I don’t even know, like, what do you do at that point? Like eventually I was allowed back in the room, my boyfriend again explained that a title didn’t exist yet, but they refused to accept it.

Then they turned to me yelling about how I thought I was going to pay for a wedding. They announced they didn’t believe in weddings. They don’t believe in weddings. Aren’t they married? And it’s not for them to decide. They wouldn’t, they said they wouldn’t pay a cent because weddings were a waste of money.

Okay? Just ’cause their marriage sucks, doesn’t mean they can put it on you, despite having had their own 50 K wedding in the nineties. So they have $50,000 wedding in the nineties, which today. Let’s look this up guys. A $50,000 wedding in the nineties is what in today’s world,

guys. $50,000 wedding in the nineties is equivalent to a 100,000 to $150,000 wedding today. And they’re trying to say, that is so freaking wild. Okay, here’s my philosophy, or here’s my theory. They’re either not doing well financially and. Maybe marriage wasn’t what they thought it would be because they’re unhappy people.

And so they’re thinking if their wedding was $50,000, they see how money has changed. They’re thinking they’re gonna have to cash, they’re thinking they’re gonna have to lend all this money to them, and they’re realizing they’re not happy in their own marriage and it was a scam. Um, so. They’re trying to be like, okay, well, she needs to get something out of this, so he needs to pay for her master’s degree.

I don’t know. That’s the only thing I can think of. I told them I didn’t need their money. They kept pushing. So my boyfriend finally said he had savings for a small wedding. My father scuffed looked him up and down and said, well, I guess we have a saver. They are jealous. They are so jealous of this boyfriend because he is doing well financially.

He has his shit together and he’s happy. He’s happy with their daughter and they’re not happy. There may, maybe they didn’t save money. They spent all their money on their wedding, and so now they’re living with the repercussions of their actions. Repercussions. Repercussions. Oh my gosh, these people. Then my mother launched into a how wait.

Then my mother launched into how I couldn’t get married the next year because I was also graduating and the family wouldn’t attend two parties for me in one year. That’s when I told them, we already set the date Oh, to be a fly on that wall.

They went ballistic. I’m laughing because I’m so uncomfortable and I’m not even there. Like, oh my gosh, this is terrible. This is terrible. They went ballistic, screaming verbally, verbally abusing me. Oh my gosh, and completely losing control. I finally snapped, yelled back, and stormed out. My father followed not to talk to me, but to apologize.

To my boyfriend for my behavior saying I’m sorry. She’s crazy. So now the dad’s like, Hey buddy, we’re friends. All these women, they’re so crazy. Get out of here. Get out of here. We walked down the block to the car and just stared each other. Finally, my boyfriend said, holy shit, you are right. He is like, yeah, you know what?

Um, I think I’m gonna take some time to think about this. Oh my gosh. That same day he offered to let me move in with him. He said he’d always suspected that my parents treated me badly, but he had no idea it was this dangerous. Um, and don’t tell, I mean, I know this is happening, this was in the past, but don’t tell your parents his address because they sound incredibly toxic.

Incredibly dangerous, abusive, like. Holy cow. This is, this is not good. We never got their blessing. We never got an apology. Two days later, after yet another argument, I packed my things and moved in with my in-laws at my husband’s insistence. I wish I could say I went, no contact with them, but the saga continued throughout our engagement.

Wedding and even the birth of our son and daughter. Girl, you’ve got so many stories to share. I, I have a lot of questions. Maybe I’ll reach out. Um, the fact that they were still invited to the wedding, they didn’t wanna offer anything, not saying parents have to or need to, of course not. Absolutely not.

But. It’s not like they were holding a string over your head. They were literally screaming at you. They never once supported you. They made fun of your boyfriend, then boyfriend. So to have them be a part of the engagement, your wedding, and now the birth of your son and daughter, I can see now why you relate to Ferris and Sloan story so much.

Choosing Safety, Breaking Cycles, and Protecting Peace

Oh, their first postpartum visit to our home is another insane story. One that ended with my husband banning them from our house entirely, but I think I’ve written enough for now. Oh, this poor girl. Oh my gosh. She really relates to Ferris and Sloan. It was, wasn’t until my grandpa. My only remaining tethered to them passed away in March, 2024 that I finally went no contact.

I am so proud of you. Like it’s so complicated. Relationships are so complicated, and you know, I’m not someone that you should be like, I’m not someone that’s like, oh, go no contact, because every relationship is nuanced. You never know, but based on what I know here. This was long overdue and I’m so proud of you and I’m sure it was very complicated and very hard to get to this point.

They still slander me daily on Facebook. These are emotionally, mentally, whatever else, spiritually emo i, immature parents. The fact they treat you like this and post about you on Facebook, like, ugh, tell ’em to grow up. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my story. I feel like it has the right amount of chaos to be one in one of your videos.

And for the record, we did have a beautiful ceremony and reception. It was one of the best days of my life. Second only to the birth of birth of my children. And yes, my mother wore a black dress. No one really noticed. Okay, well I’m glad the mom. Elise, I’m assuming, behaved yourself at the wedding and hopefully the dad, they still had their wedding that they wanted, and it still was a beautiful day.

So I’m glad for that. I’m glad that some people were able to close their mouths on this special day and let them enjoy it. But that is a wild story. If you ever feel like writing in more and sharing the rest, please do. Um, a lot of people say like. Writing these stories out of things that happened to them or things that they’ve seen is kind of therapy in a, in it, it’s kind of therapy in itself.

Um, it allows you to really go through your emotions again and really understand what happened. And then hearing other people’s stories allow you to see that you’re not alone and you’re not crazy. Um, because I think sometimes like our mind plays tricks on us and it’s like, oh, it wasn’t as bad. It wa you know, it didn’t happen like that, but it was your experience.

So I think writing it out can be really helpful, um, and understanding yourself, understanding what happened. Um, and hopefully in sharing this, other people can relate to you and maybe give some advice. Um. Or if other people are in the early stages, maybe you are in an engagement right now where their parents or your parents or some other relative is acting like this.

Um, so maybe we can share some advice as well. Oh my gosh, this, this poor couple. I’m really happy for you guys being able to go No, no contact. I think a lot of times children can bring that out in people because you’re like, I don’t wanna subject my child to this, and the cycle ends with me. Proud of you guys for that.

Alright, let’s end this episode with some confessions and then we’ll, we’ll get on with our days. All right. This is your biggest wedding regret. We always like to mix these up on Instagram, so that was the question of the week. Here we go. My father-in-law tried to influence what I was wearing on my wedding day, but I refused, so he made me cry.

What’s with these father-in-laws trying to influence what the bride wears? I read another story like that about him picking out Amazon dresses because they were affordable, like he wasn’t even paying for it. I don’t understand that this regret. It says not getting a professional photographer and not enough pics with my parents.

I think that’s one of the number one regrets I see. Photographer is so worth it getting a good photographer or videographer because I will tell you, I still see my wedding photos. We have them hanging, I have ’em in a photo book and it’s, it was so worth it to me not trying to do a small ceremony on a beautiful, small chapel that I’ve always wanted.

Okay. That makes me sad. I think a lot of times we get influenced by other people around us, or we see movies or we see what our best friend did and we’re like, ah, I need to have a wedding like that. I need to have a big wedding. I need to do this. And it, it pulls us away from what is actually true to us.

Um. I wish I had switched out some friends in my wedding party for my cousins. That’s hard. That’s hard when you regret having or not having someone in your wedding. All right, last one.

I let my friend do my hair and makeup. She’s, I let my friend do my hair and makeup, but she is no longer in my life. She turned out to be narcissistic. Well, that’s a whole can of worms. I, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that happened. Um, is the regret because she was not good at hair and makeup or the regret is because you’re not friends anymore?

Because if she did it well, who, who really cares? Because you could just be like, oh, it was a hairdresser. If it was that she’s not your friend. You only did it because she was your friend at the time and it was a bad hairstyle and makeup then. Yeah, that’s, that’s, that’s a regret I would have. Fun fact, I did my sister’s hair and makeup on her wedding day, and I’m four years younger than her.

Um, I’ve always loved doing hair and makeup. I’m no. In no way, shape, or form a professional. You, you guys can see I’m learning every day. Um, but makeup was not something that, like my sister completely enjoyed I think at the time. Um, and I remember doing it for her prom too, and her, um, another dance too. Um, so that was like fun.

But I don’t think I’ve done it for anybody else. Yeah, I don’t know. Anyway, that was a wild episode, wild story. Again, thanks for being here, you guys. This is my one year. Birthday of the podcast of Here Comes the Drama. Um, it’s just been so much fun to create so much fun meeting all these people, hearing your stories.

Um, so if you guys love the podcast, please share it with a friend. Um. It just really helps the podcast get out as well and hear, have more people hear about it. Um, I’m just so incredibly grateful. And of course, as a reminder, we’re doing our year giveaway, um, three prize winners, so make sure you subscribe to the podcast, subscribe to my YouTube channel, and comment on this video.

All you have to do is just make sure the word entered is in it. You can put anything else in there or nothing at all. Um, and the winner will be announced on March 12th. Um, we will reach out to you, we’ll comment on your, um, comment, and then we will also go through email after that going through the correct steps so we make sure we contact the right person.

All right guys. Thanks for hanging out with me. It’s been an amazing year and there’s so much more to come that I cannot wait to share. All right, guys, have a good one.

by Christa Innis

Wedding Etiquette 101, Rapid Fire Questions & the Bad Luck Bride — with Mariah Humbert

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

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Ever wondered what happens when your wedding is full of chaos and family feuds?

This week on Here Comes The Drama, the wedding chaos reaches next-level insanity! Christa dives into a jaw-dropping story about no-kids wedding rules, a sister’s outrageous demands, and family drama that almost derailed the big day. Then, Christa and Sarah Wizeman break down the wildest wedding confessions from listeners, from toxic in-laws to surprise pregnancy announcements to overzealous sister-in-laws calling off weddings!

Plus, Sarah shares her incredible journey as an author, her book The Invisible String, and her plans for monthly romance and bridal story releases—complete with skits on TikTok and YouTube. This episode is packed with drama, laughs, and insider wedding chaos you won’t want to miss.

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Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • Wedding Mayhem & Resilience – How one bride navigated disappearing vendors, last-minute disasters, and chaos on the big day while still celebrating joyfully.
  • Balancing Tradition & Personal Meaning – How couples can honor family customs without losing the parts of the day that matter most to them.
  • The Stress Trap – Why brides often look back wishing they stressed less—and what mindset helps you avoid that spiral.
  • Wedding Gifts Gone Wild – Listener confessions reveal the strangest gifts ever received… including a used kitchen appliance and a mountain of condoms.
  • Regifting Rules – Mariah breaks down the etiquette: yes, you can regift… but absolutely not if it’s visibly used.
  • The Wearing-Black Debate – Is black at a wedding disrespectful? Mariah explains the evolving etiquette and cultural considerations.
  • Mindset on the Big Day – Why waking up with the right perspective can make or break your wedding.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  • “If you wake up on the wrong side of the bed and stub your toe, it’s the end of the world. If the sun’s shining? You laugh it off.” – Christa Innis
  • “Three things are gonna go wrong today—whatever. Just enjoy being surrounded by people who love you.” – Christa Innis
  • “You don’t want those little things getting to you on a day you’ve waited your whole life for.” – Christa Innis
  • “I’m always reading stories about wedding etiquette, but hearing it from an expert hits different.” – Christa Innis
  • “Know your options… and maybe don’t gift someone a used turkey roaster.” – Christa Innis
  • “Your job is to create a great experience for guests without losing the wedding you dreamed of.” – Mariah Humbert
  • “Respect the traditions that matter to your family, but don’t let them erase what’s meaningful to you as a couple.” – Mariah Humbert
  • “The one thing I wish I did differently was stress a little less.” – Mariah Humbert
  • “Regifting is fine—but if it’s used, that’s a hard no.” – Mariah Humbert
  • “Black at a wedding isn’t taboo anymore. Just be mindful of cultural context.” – Mariah Humbert

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

About Mariah

Mariah Grumet Humbert is a renowned etiquette expert and author, specializing in weddings and social celebrations. With years of experience guiding couples, families, and event hosts, Mariah combines her expertise with a warm, approachable style, helping people navigate the often tricky world of etiquette with confidence and grace. She is the author of What Do I Do: Every Wedding Etiquette Question Answered and The Essential Wedding Planner, and she shares her knowledge across her website and social platforms, including Instagram and TikTok. Known for her practical advice, attention to detail, and ability to bring calm and clarity to high-stress situations, Mariah is the go-to resource for anyone looking to celebrate life’s milestones with style, respect, and ease.

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Your ultimate wedding etiquette guide is here! Mariah Humbert answers every question you didn’t know you had—so your big day is smooth, stylish, and stress-free: What Do I Do?: Every Wedding Etiquette Question Answered

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Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.

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Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis:  Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis. And first things first, I wanna apologize to you guys because my voice is rather raspy today. It’s gotten a little worse over the, over the week and, um, I feel like it’s straining now. So, um. I apologize in advance if it cracks a little bit during this episode.

Um, I felt like I was kind of straining to read towards the end there, but I still had a lot of fun with it, so I’m sure you will still enjoy it. Just the same. It was just me on the other end, kind of struggling a little bit. I’ll be going on a little voice sabbatical after this, drinking some tea and, and resting the best that I can.

Um, of course by the time you guys listen to this, I’ll be, I’ll be long past this. I’ll be, I’ll be much healthier, better, and vocally charged me. Um, in case you guys missed it, um, we’re doing a little giveaway this month. Um, just share on social media, either a screenshot of you listening to the podcast, um, a picture of yourself listening to the podcast, your review, and then just tag me.

Um, we’re gonna pick four winners that win $50 Amazon gift cards, and the winners will be announced on the February 12th. Episode. Yes, that is correct. I had to double check there. Um, but we are, you guys are in for a great episode today. I have etiquette and image consultant, author and founder of Old Soul Etiquette, Mariah Grumet Humbert, and she answers.

All the big questions when it comes to etiquette and your wedding. You guys have been asking for etiquette expert for a long time, and someone recommended her to me and we just had such a great time chatting. Um, I pulled off some of your guys’ questions from social media, um, answering questions like, do you need to send a gift?

If you are invited to a wedding but you cannot attend, um, can you ask someone to step down from your wedding? Um, how does money or paying for your event come into play when they can?

Or something like how does control come into, or something like how do decisions come into play when someone’s paying for part of your wedding? She answers all the questions and we have a great time chatting and doing some rapid fire as well. And then of course, at the very end we react to one of your wild, crazy, and very.

Positive wedding stories, but also very shocking in a lot of ways. So without further ado, please enjoy this episode with Mariah.

Hi, Mariah.

Mariah Humbert: Hi Christa. I’m so happy to be here.

Christa Innis: Thank you so much for coming on. I’m so excited to talk to you. I had so many people recommend you to me being like, we need to have an etiquette expert on your show. And I was like, I have to reach out because I think it’s such a perfect crossover of having your expertise in sharing everything you know about etiquette.

Mariah Humbert: Well, that’s so sweet. I’m so excited to dive into all of the things that we have to talk about today. Yes.

Christa Innis: So before we get started, can you just share a little bit about yourself and then what you do?

Mariah Humbert: Sure. So my name is Mariah Grumet Humbert. I’m the founder of Old Soul Etiquette. I’m a certified etiquette and image consultant.

I’ve written two modern wedding etiquette books and my whole philosophy on etiquette is about using it as tool, a tool instead of these kind of rigid rules. And you know, I work with companies and individuals all over the country to help them look, feel, and think their best so that they can really go out in the world and shine their light in the way that they’re meant to.

Christa Innis: I love that because I feel like when it comes to like weddings and events, we hear a lot about etiquette. Like, this is proper etiquette. No, this is proper etiquette. Yes. And so what would you say is the difference between etiquette and opinion? Because I feel like that’s something too, is like. Opinions come into play.

Also, where you’re located on the map might come into play. Absolutely. So what’s your take on all that?

Mariah Humbert: So I think when we think about modern wedding etiquette, the most important thing to keep in mind is the why behind the rule, so to speak, right? That that have existed in terms of like wedding etiquette, tradition from years and years ago.

Why are we doing these things? The answer to that question in most cases is to give our guests a good experience, to make our guests feel welcome and taken care of. But with that, it is our one day that we can, you know, kind of have the dream day that we want and make decisions based on our interests and our preferences as a couple.

And so I think it’s really about that balancing act of how do I not give up my vision and my dream day. But let’s not forget. That I’m taking care of a huge room of people who I wanna have a really good experience for.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. I love that because I feel like a lot of times we get caught up in the, I don’t wanna say bridezilla, but like that if the bride has a boundaries or expectations, she’s labeled a Bridezilla.

Mm-hmm. But the other way around is like, yes, they are also your guests, so we should also consider our guests needs as well. Yes. It’s not just a one way street.

Mariah Humbert: Absolutely. And it, it’s even goes beyond the guests too. Like that made me think when you said Bridezilla, which I’m, so, I’m a little scared of that word, right?

I, no one thinks that I was when I got married, but, you know, I, I think too that so much of wedding planning, even before the event comes from how you consider the people involved. So, so much of that comes from communication and I think when it comes to setting boundaries or making decisions as a couple, having, you know, the.

The balance of power over decisions between family members. All that comes back to how we can communicate our needs and interests, but also, you know, be willing to hear out others too. So even before the big day, making sure that sometimes we don’t think about etiquette as communication, but it, but it really is, it’s a, it’s, it’s about putting our best foot forward for ourselves, but also for others.

Managing Family Dynamics and Wedding Finances Without Losing Your Sanity

Christa Innis: Yeah. So like right off the bat, how would you, this just comes to mind ’cause one of our, our most popular topic, I would say is either a mother of the groom or mother of the bride coming in and like controlling the wedding, planning things behind their back, just taking things from the bride. How would you, like, as a, as a bride listening, if that’s something they’re going through, how would you handle that situation?

Like right off the bat?

Mariah Humbert: So let’s even go before that can even happen. So coming up with a really clear game plan with your partner is going to be key here. So you are actually setting intentional time to sit together and make a game plan. You know what your parents are like, right? And so you can kind of anticipate how, not always, but you can try to anticipate how the dominoes are gonna fall or how the puzzle pieces are gonna fall into place.

And so having that conversation ahead of time where you can say, this is our game plan. This is the, you know, we’re agreeing on this. This is our plan of action, so that if things do kind of hit the wall, you can go in as a couple. Mm-hmm. I also say when you have any kind of. Issue arising with a family member.

In my opinion, it’s very important for that member of the couple to handle that, their respective family. Um, so, you know, if you have to have those difficult conversations, you can both be involved, but let that member of the couple lead. Um, but I think that with that really kind of laying down the law in the beginning of this is what our vision is, this is what we’re doing.

Um, but it gets tricky too, and this is, we can dive deeper in this. It’s very nuanced when you have. Family member is contributing financially, and you have to give up a little bit of that control. So I would say before an issue can even happen, get ahead of it by really having a clear game plan with your partner.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I know. I feel like I try to say when we get these stories, I’m like, there’s usually some kind of red flag or some kind of hint ahead of time that maybe something’s going to erupt. I don’t feel like it always comes from left field, like, whoa, I’ve never seen this side. Sometimes I’m sure it does. Um, but I feel like a lot of times there’s like, oh, she did make comments that about blank, so then it kind of happens this way.

So I love that you said that.

Mariah Humbert: And etiquette too, I always say is that it’s really just a fancy word for social awareness and emotional intelligence. So if you can really tap into that and try and anticipate or get ahead of what these issues might be, you can also, um, you know, so much of success in relationships comes from that communication and preparation.

Um, so I always say have, have those game plans set aside ahead of time. It really makes a big difference. And I, and I also tell people, if you know that you’re going to have a particularly difficult family member, where can you give them the place to feel valued in another area? So if you know that your mother-in-law or your mom or somebody, your aunt, grandmother, whatever sister, whatever it is, is going to try and take over in some way, get ahead of that by giving them a job before they can take away something that’s super important to you.

So, for example, if you’re like, I don’t even know what colors, this is such a random example, but I don’t even know what colors I wanna do for invitations. Uh, you know, we’re having trouble making a decision. You’re, you have such a good eye for that. Can you do some research of, um, you know, within the style of wedding that we’re trying to have, can you come up with some ideas? Make them feel valued and needed in a, in an area that is not super, super key to you.

Um, and that might, may help them let off. In some other areas, but listen, I mean, sometimes it’s not perfect and you have to put your foot down and have those difficult conversations.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And so you also brought up like when they are financially helping in some way, so what’s your take on that? If they are helping?

Do they have more of a say in controlling the wedding? Or how, how do they that, how does that come into play?

Mariah Humbert: So in my first book, I talk about this kind of step by step, way of having these conver the, the financial conversations with your family members. So the, the first one is obviously having the conversation with your partner, doing the research in advance.

So, you know, not exactly how much things cost, but okay, I wanna have a large wedding in this geographical area with, you know, maybe. This, this band, this is the general cost of what things are going to be. So then when you take the conversation to your family members, it’s not a free for all. You’ve done your research, you have a, it’s almost like you’re treating it as a business meeting.

You have an agenda of what you wanna cover. You’re also taking into consideration the timing of the meeting. It’s only for the people who need to be involved. There’s not extra voices, right? So you have maybe one with your in-laws and one with your parents, depending on who’s financially contributing.

And then you really, you know, with the willingness to compromise and be flexible in areas, you have to be straightforward and confident in your questions of saying, are you able to contribute? Are you, um, how much are you able to contribute? Being straightforward about those questions. And then again, that balance of power over decisions.

What is super non-negotiable for you and your partner, sacred to you, important to you? Those decisions should be made by you. And I think we live in this new era now too, where. Not all, but, but some parents are starting to understand that these events are for the couple and not a family reunion. Yeah. Um, but I think it’s, it’s about letting them feel valued and included in, in places where you might not have a tight grip on.

Christa Innis: Yes. No, I think that’s such an important thing to say because you. I think a lot of times it’s miscommunication and I think it’s all out of love. Yes. And where they just, they’re very excited. Right. So they want Yes. Involved. And so it comes off as like sometimes it can be controlling and sometimes it can be like, they’re taking this from me.

Right. Where you make a good point where it’s like, okay, in the beginning, sit down together, have this conversation and not saying that’s gonna solve all problems. I’ve read some wild stories where totally. Where no matter what, there’s gonna be something happening. Um. But that’s, that’s a really good point, and just kind of like having control in the beginning of being like, we looked this through, this is what we can afford here.

Yes. If you wanna help in this area, that would be really helpful.

Mariah Humbert: Another point too with that is, you know, now that we live in this modern time of different financial contributions, right? In the past it was like the bride’s family paid for the wedding, and that’s sort of how it went. Mm-hmm. Now there’s so many different methods of paying for weddings.

Couples are paying them for them by themselves. Both families are contributing, one family is contributing. And so if you have both families contributing, even if it’s the not, not the same monetary value. Giving them kind of equal responsibility. So for example, don’t, don’t have one, you know, family member pay for the table linens, and then one family member is paying for the most important, you know, the, the vendor or the vendors that day, like the photographer or this or that.

Try and split it so that, you know, one takes the photographer and one takes the videographer. So it it, so it feels a little bit more equal. So nobody’s feelings are getting hurt. But I also think too, when it comes to dealing with difficult parents, like you said, it it most of the time, again, not everybody’s this lucky, but most of the time it comes out of love and excitement and most people just want to feel heard and acknowledged.

And so if they’re giving you a hard time that they’re paying for your dress and they want you in this one, sometimes that conversation needs to start with I hear where you’re coming from, you’re excited, and you know what? You’ve been so gracious to pay for this, so your opinion does matter to me however.

Mm-hmm. And then you go into, you know, this is my day. This means so much to me. But just telling them that their opinion matters to you. Most people just wanna feel heard. Right. Right.

Christa Innis: And I know, I feel like it always starts off as this little thing that maybe like someone misheard or something happened and then it just keeps growing, growing, and growing.

And before you know it, it’s a full on explosion. Totally. And invite people. And it’s wild how, um, I feel like a lot of these stories are sent to me. Just a little bit of communication could have maybe helped it not, again, not all cases. I don’t want people being like, it couldn’t helped in mine. Um, but I think a lot of situations it could.

Mariah Humbert: Absolutely. And then everybody’s emotions are so high during this time. Yes, it’s excitement and it’s joy, but it’s also stress and it’s emotional for the couple, and it’s emotional for the parents. And so again, clear communication that’s not throwing it at a family dinner where there’s 10 people at the table.

It’s pulling people aside. It’s making intentional time for these conversations and just constantly trying to get ahead of the issue. If you can.

Wedding Gift Etiquette, Thank You Notes, and Handling Uninvited Guests

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah, I love that. Okay, so I reached out to my audience on different platforms and asked for some etiquette questions. Yay. Things they’re going through or things they’ve seen.

Okay. So it says, “I was told if you went to someone’s first wedding and gave a gift, you don’t have to give one at the second wedding.“

Mariah Humbert: I’m going to disagree with that, but I always say that the gesture of giving a gift is much more about the gesture and not about the monetary value. Um, so perhaps your gift is not of the same monetary value, but it’s something that you’re sending that works with your budget.

Um, that would be the gracious thing to do in that situation.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I couldn’t imagine like, especially someone that you really care about if they found their new love, like, doesn’t matter, the first wedding didn’t work out. I couldn’t imagine showing up and not giving a gift. But like, if there’s someone important to me and I’m going to their wedding, I want to bring them something.

Mariah Humbert: Totally agree. And it’s about the gesture, not about how much you spend.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I love that. Okay. “What’s a tactful, easy to ask if they received my gift. If some time has passed and you haven’t received a thank you card.”

Mariah Humbert: I get this question a lot, so I, there’s two, two ways you can go about this. Um, the first one would be to give them a heads up in the beginning.

And I wanna let you know there’s a package coming your way. Um, please let me know that you received it. Um, otherwise I think that there’s no issue in kindly reaching out and saying, I know there’s so much going on with the mail these days. I wanna ensure that. Our gift made it to you and you don’t need to make it about, oh, I I, you may have not gotten to thank thank you notes yet or anything like that, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with ensuring that your gift made it to someone.

Christa Innis: Yeah, because I’ve definitely done that before. Just like reaching out, being like, Hey, it looks like it arrived. Just wanna make sure, or like same, same as you said, like mail’s kind of weird. Just wanna make sure you got the package. Um, ’cause I have heard like very. I don’t know how to say it. People that didn’t get thank yous and calling that out specifically.

Some, a friend of mine told me a story where she was like, I had a great aunt of somebody. They basically call me out and say, why haven’t you written thank yous yet? And it was like around the holidays, like a lot was going on and she’s like, so I felt very targeted.

Mariah Humbert: So I, I’m, I’m a big proponent of thank you notes,obviously. I’m etiquette trainer, like I obviously still champion handwritten thank you notes, but I will say that it’s poor etiquette to point out poor etiquette. So if you know, you can think to yourself that I love thank you notes. So when someone doesn’t send one, I’m totally noticing, but I would never point that out.

But that’s a generational thing. I mean, I get comments on my social media from the older generation saying, what do I do when I’ve sent so many nice wedding gifts and I have not received thank you notes? And the answer is nothing. You know, it’s not a, you weren’t giving the gift for something in return, right?

So there’s nothing for you to do. But for the people listening, write your thank you notes.

Christa Innis: I love a thank you note. I, I’m right there with you. I love a handwritten thank you note. Thank you note. I remember my husband and I after our wedding, I was like, we like split out, like all the people that came to the wedding or just gift.

And I was like, okay, we need to get like 10 done a day. So smart.

What do you think the proper, like time frame after a wedding is to be able to send one?

Mariah Humbert: A wedding is different than a regular thank, you know, obviously, because you have to take into, into consideration honeymoons. Maybe people are, you know, moving in together. There’s, it’s a big life event.

So I would say, you know, if you could do it in six, from six to eight weeks from your wedding, that would be ideal. However, it’s never too late. So if life comes up and you haven’t gotten to them and you’re thinking to yourself, this is past the point of no return, it’s not, you can still send them.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Okay. Awesome. Um, “should you give a gift at the wedding and the shower if you’re invited to both.”

Mariah Humbert: So this is very geographical. I found in my research when I was writing my book. So I was raised in the, in the northeast, and the custom here is that you typically give a physical gift for the shower off the registry, and then you would give a monetary gift for the wedding. That’s the way that we do it in the northeast.

But I understand that it’s not that way everywhere. Um, I know the south, they like physical gifts and you know, in other places it’s, um, so I think that again, I would recommend doing a gift for both, whether that be a monetary gift or a physical gift. 

Now, a few things to consider. Consider your budget. Again, like I said about the gifts originally, this is about the gesture of you giving the gift, not the actual gift, right? It’s not about the actual monetary value. So do what you can think about it ahead of time. Come up with the budget for the gift, and then split that between, or if you perhaps wanna do something larger for the shower, you do something smaller for the actual wedding.

Um, and in most places in the country, I have to say, ’cause not all, it’s not proper to bring a physical gift to the wedding unless it’s a card with a monetary gift.

Christa Innis: Mm. Yeah. I feel like that’s pretty normal. Like where I’m from, the Midwest, like we. Typically we’ll bring like the physical gift to the shower and it’s like a card to the wedding.

I think in our old wedding we had a few people bring gifts. Mm-hmm. Like off the registry, which was great. We just didn’t, we didn’t expect it.

Mariah Humbert: Right.

Christa Innis: Um, but yeah, I feel like that’s a great idea of like thinking about your overall budget. Like okay, I know I’m invited to both my budget’s 200 or whatever, so I’m gonna do 50 for the shower and one 50 for the wine.

Exactly. That’s really smart. Exactly. Then you’re not empty handed at the shower. Um. And because I think a lot of times people think then, oh, I have to go and I have to spend all this money for both things. So thinking about it, big picture is great.

Mariah Humbert: Yeah. It doesn’t, it doesn’t need to break your, your budgets because you know, you have, you may have to travel, you may have, if you’re like me, you have 150 weddings in a year.

So it’s, you know, you have to kind of plan ahead.

Christa Innis: Yeah, so you brought up a good point, point just now saying if you have to travel, so another thing I’ve seen is if you do have to travel to a wedding, like playing for a hotel flight, all that, you don’t have to give a gift, like a monetary gift. What is your take on that?

Mariah Humbert: I’m gonna say the same exact answer is that. Something, it’s a, could be a cookbook, it could be all the friends pitch in for a gift card to their favorite restaurant. It doesn’t have to be, you’ve spent so much money traveling, so it’s, again, it, it could be a candle for their home. Right. I’m not, I’m not trying to tell people that they need to spend more than they’re able to just think about the gesture.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. Okay, great. Um, “if you are given a dress code for a wedding, but you can’t afford the new outfit to fit the dress code, what’s the proper protocol for that?”

Mariah Humbert: Oh, this is a good question. I would say to, I feel like I need a little bit more context because, you know, I, I feel like there’s a lot that you can do to work into dress codes, but I would say if it’s black tie and you can’t afford a tuxedo, then, you know, a black suit would be the best next option. I wouldn’t say don’t go, but I would say respect to the dress code as much as, as you can, there’s a reason why that couple designated this dress code for their wedding, depending on their preferences or their venue.

Um, but I feel like I would need a little more context because I feel like there’s a lot, especially as as women, that you can kind of fit into to many dress codes.

Christa Innis:  Right. Yeah. Like if it’s, if they’re like need like a very specific color, I could get that

Mariah Humbert: Right.

Christa Innis:  Very hard. But, um….

Mariah Humbert: And also there’s a lot of rental options out there too for tuxedos and for, you know, gowns, dresses. So don’t, don’t purchase one if you don’t need to. There’s plenty of rental options or borrow from one of your friends.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.  Yeah, that’s a great idea.  Um, okay, I’ve got a couple more. Um. If I got a couple, or “if I got a gift from a couple that does not live together, should I send two separate thank yous?”

Mariah Humbert: Oh, that’s a good question too. These are really good questions. I would say, again, this will depend on the individual situation. If one member of the couple is the. The, the relationship you have. So perhaps this is, you know, your friend from college and their boyfriend that they met after college that you don’t have a great relationship with.

I would say you could send it to her home with his name on the card and that would suffice. Um, but if they’re both equally your, you know, friends as a couple, then I would send one to each home.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Okay. Great. Um, “is it acceptable to send a gift to the couple from their registry a week after the wedding?”

Mariah Humbert: Sure. Absolutely.

Christa Innis: Then last one. Um, “my family is inviting people to my wedding without asking myself or my fiance, how do I go about uninviting them?” 

Mariah Humbert: Okay. So the uninviting part I don’t think is possible at this point because. How far are you in the process? Did they send to save the date? Was it a verbal discussion? Like, where are you in the process?

You could, unfortunately, your family member is going to have to say that you’re at capacity and it’s going to be on them to have to have that difficult conversation if they’ve already sent an invitation or a save the date, without you knowing, unfortunately, there’s not much you can do about that, but I think that this is a perfect example of one of those things that you have the printed out guest list in front of your family members before you get ready to send out, save the dates, and you say. You take a look at this, you take a look at this because it’s not changing after save the dates go out.

And so this is one of those, those things that you know, but again, maybe you did have that conversation and they didn’t respect that, but you may have to have that conversation with them that we’re at capacity. This is what is ha you know, it’s not about money, it’s not about this. This is the guest list that we had and we don’t appreciate you. Inviting people that we hadn’t discussed as a family when we were originally writing out the guest list.

Because of course, if your parents are paying, they should be able to, you know, contribute to that discussion of who’s being invited. But again, that, that comes with that preparation, right? You sit down with them and you say, okay, we have 150 people, we’ve come up with a hundred and since both parents are contributing to the wedding, here’s 25 for you. Here’s 25 for you.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yeah, definitely. I would say that’s probably like one of the most shocking things I’ve read in some of these stories. People inviting people that were never a part of the list.

Mariah Humbert:  That’s crazy.

Christa Innis: Um, yeah, like I had one that, um, the mother-in-law reprinted her own invitations and sent them out to her friends and they didn’t find out until, I think, I wanna say like someone called them or they bumped into someone. They’re like, oh, I can’t wait for your wedding. And they’re like, what!?

Mariah Humbert: Christa, this is where the etiquette, like it doesn’t eat. This is so beyond anything that like, it’s just like, holy cow.

Christa Innis: Yeah, some, that’s where, yeah, that’s where, like we were saying earlier, it’s like some of these, it’s like. You got so out of left field, you just don’t know who’s showing up. Either that, and I think it was like the mom wouldn’t tell who she invited.

She’s like, oh, just some friends. So that she wouldn’t tell. So they didn’t know who was gonna show up. They didn’t know what places, places to have. So that was probably like one of the most shocking things I’ve I’ve read.

Mariah Humbert: Certainly. Shocking. I mean, I don’t know if you put this on video, but you could see my face. I’m so shocked.

Rapid-Fire Wedding Etiquette: The Rules Everyone Argues About

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Okay. Next little segment is gonna be a rapid fire wedding etiquette edition. Um, so it’ll be kind of like a yes or no for, for these wedding etiquette questions. Okay. Okay. “Is it rude to wear white if it’s not bridal right?”

Mariah Humbert: Yes.

Christa Innis: Yeah. “Should you bring a plus one if your invite doesn’t say so?”

Mariah Humbert: Absolutely not.

Christa Innis: “Is it okay to leave before the cake is cut?” 

Mariah Humbert: Yes. Can I not rapid fire this one? Yeah. I would say again, because we, weddings come in all shapes and sizes now and not everybody does it as a big event. They might do it on the side just for a picture opportunity. They might not even have a cake.

So I would say, you know, in that case, use your judgment of when would be too early. But generally speaking it’s, it’s fine because it’s, weddings are all different now.

Christa Innis: Yeah, right. “Should you post photos before the couple does?” 

Mariah Humbert: No, and that’s again, one of those old fashioned things. Well, can’t be that old fashioned because social media is relatively new, but I would say until the, you know, the couple posts a picture, especially if you have a bride in a traditional gown, they may not wanna share those photos yet.

So, um, seems like everybody does it now, but in my opinion, it’s best not to.

Christa Innis: Yes. And put your phone away during the ceremony.

Mariah Humbert: Oh my goodness. Yes.

Christa Innis: That’s, that’s a big…

Mariah Humbert: That’s a whole other conversation.

Christa Innis: Pay, pay attention to the signs or the officiant who says, put your phone away, please. Yes. Um, “do you have to give a gift if you can’t attend?”

Mariah Humbert: Yes. But it doesn’t need to be anything crazy. Usually I, if I can’t attend, I would pick a small item off of their registry and wish them well with that.

Christa Innis: So you, so even if, let’s say it’s like someone you hardly have a relationship with, you are like really surprised you even got invited. You think still you should send something?

Mariah Humbert: Mm-hmm. I would.  

Christa Innis: Okay. That’s good to know.

Mariah Humbert: They, they, for whatever reason, hopefully they have good intentions, but for whatever reason you made that list, they wanted to celebrate the most important day of their life with you. So if you can spend $20 on it. Something to send to them and wish them well.

And if that’s not something that your budget allows, you can send them a card.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Okay, great. And do you feel the same when it comes to like other events like baby shower, bridal shower, birthday party, sending something?

Mariah Humbert: Same thing. You know, for those smaller events, a card might be plenty. Um, but the, the gesture of, you know, saying I appreciate the invitation and I’m thinking of you is, is really nice.

Christa Innis: Okay. I love that. Um. “Is it rude to decline being in a wedding?”

Mariah Humbert: No, absolutely not. I think that there’s, it’s become really a beast being a part of a wedding these days, right? It’s very financially, um, and it has a large impact financially. It takes a lot of time. You might be in a stage of your life for whatever reason that you’re not able to, and it doesn’t mean that you love that person any less.

But again, this is where as a couple, you need to kind of define the expectation in the beginning to your wedding party of what will be involved. And then if, you’re not able to accept that, to just be honest with them that this is not a time in your life that you’re able to accept this, but it doesn’t mean that their wedding means any less to you, and perhaps you can have a role somewhere else in helping.

Christa Innis: Yeah, and I feel like that’s one of those things, like we’re we’re told like, oh, to take it personal, oh, if someone doesn’t wanna be in our wedding, that’s such a bad thing. But it’s almost like kind because they’re like, they’re like. No. I can’t be my best self in your wedding.

Exactly. I’d rather be there as a guest and support you that way, and I feel like it’s a very mature response to be able to look at their financial finances or their time and be like, this is my best role.

I’m sorry.

Mariah Humbert: Again, don’t  be afraid to have those conversations. You can’t over communicate. Right. So, on, either, on either end. So don’t be afraid to, to have those conversations and don’t put yourself in a situation financially or, you know, time commitment that you’re not able to, again, like you said, show up in the best way.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yeah. “Um, can some, can you ask someone to step down from the wedding party?”

Mariah Humbert:  Only if it’s an extreme, extreme situation.

Christa Innis: Okay. I do see that a lot of times in stories too. Um, “do you have to invite someone to the wedding if they’re invited to the shower? I see this a lot.”

Mariah Humbert: Yes. This is pr it’s proper etiquette to have, even when it comes to like, from starting with the engagement party, if you have one, again, you might not have your list.

Completely defined by then, but everybody who was invited to the engagement party should also be invited to the wedding. Obviously, the wedding will likely be larger, but everybody invited to the shower should also be going to the wedding. The exception to this is perhaps your job wants to throw you a shower or, um, you know, perhaps you’re part of a team or a, a, a hobby that you have where you don’t have a super, super close relationship with them enough to invite them to the wedding, but they have a small celebration for you. That would be kind of the exception, but the, the general shower should include people who are also invited to the wedding.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. I had never heard of people just getting invited to the shower until I was seeing it in comments, and these women would be like, yeah, is it weird that my niece or whatever just invited me to the shower? And I was like, yes, yes. That’s very yes.

Mariah Humbert: Yes.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Or I guess, unless maybe they’re like eloping and not having a wedding.

Mariah Humbert: Right, right. So of course there’s exceptions, right? Of course. If they’re having like a, you know, like a, like as you said, eloping or doing immediate family only, but this is the way they wanna celebrate. With the other important people in their life. But generally speaking, for a traditional wedding, everyone invited to the shower should also be invited to the wedding.

Christa Innis: Yes. Um, “can you invite someone to the reception only?

Mariah Humbert: Again, if it is a situation where it’s immediate family. And you’re having a private ceremony, and perhaps it’s a religious ceremony or whatever it is, but that would have to be like an all or nothing thing. So it would either have to be just immediate family and then all of the rest of the guests at the reception can’t just be like a handful.

Christa Innis: Right, right. All right. A couple more here. Um, “should the bride and groom greet every table?”

Mariah Humbert: Yes, in some capacity. And again, it’s, it’s hard to say because, some wedding styles don’t have that, like kind of same. Layout anymore, right? That traditional layout. But I would say in some way you should plan to greet your guests.

So even if you’re not having real, a real like sit down situation, but you have like a cocktail situation, you are both making every effort to talk to as many people as you can. And again, this doesn’t have to be like a make or break it situation, but the attempt to greet your guests is important. And if your parents are.

Are also contributing to the wedding and hosting, you may divide and conquer if there’s not enough time, right? Allow them to greet, you know, some guests, you greet some guests, but I would say in a perfect situation, you are making the time to, to visit tables.

Christa Innis: Yeah. We did something, I’ve talked about this before, but we did something called the Mission Impossible at our wedding, where they put on the Mission Impossible Music and then we had to go to every table and get a picture with all of them.

Mariah Humbert: Oh, that’s really fun.

Christa Innis: It was like a quick, fun way to like get in a picture and say like, Hey guys, and like all round up so that we didn’t feel like guilty if we didn’t. I still tried to make an effort to talk to everybody, but like, it still made us feel like, oh, we saw everybody and it was our photographer’s idea.

And she’s like, it’s a great idea. It was at so many weddings and she’s like, it makes people feel like they got to see you and like hug you for a second or chat, you know? And it was great. It was all in like three minutes.

Mariah Humbert: That’s a great idea. But I also think, you know, and I’m a big proponent of host etiquette and guest etiquette, but I think this is the one day too where guests can be.

You know, need to give the couple, the benefit of the doubt that if they don’t make it to the table, it’s not because they’re trying to be rude. Right? There’s, you have so many things to do on this day, and it goes by in a flash, and so I think that the attempt of doing it is. Is the important part, but if the execution is not perfect, don’t be hard on yourself.

This is the one day where even an etiquette trainer will allow you to slip up in that. In that case, yes. It to be realistic, right? You have to be realistic,

Christa Innis: right? Because yeah, you hear of the, like the people pleaser or like super kind bride where she spends her whole night then greeting everybody and she misses out.

So it’s like you do have to kind of take into consideration like what’s your timeline? What do you. Is talking to this person for 30 minutes actually feasible, right? Or do you need hold away?

Mariah Humbert: Right. I mean, we had a, we had a smaller, we had actually a very non-traditional wedding, but we had a smaller, um, wedding.

And even in a small wedding, like just the way the layout was, we started with the tables and then we had to sit down because something else started and we didn’t make it to every single one. Yeah. And I mean the, the, the idea was there, I would, the intention was there, but it, you know, you have to be realistic.

Christa Innis: Yeah, exactly. Um, can the bride’s mom wear the same color as bridesmaids?

Mariah Humbert: If it’s okay with the bride? Mm-hmm. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I feel like it, because some people have very specific color palettes, so they might want all the family in black or all the family in Navy or everybody in a shade of blue. I had, I didn’t have a wedding party, but I had, you know, my mom and mother-in-law and my sister, who was my maid of honor, all in gold.

So I think it’s the, the couple’s preference. Yep.

Christa Innis: I love that. Okay, last one. “How do you handle guests who ignore the dress code?”

Mariah Humbert: There’s nothing that you can do in the moment, unfortunately. And. I would say at the ti, are you, do you think, you mean like, or this was this question maybe in in relation to like on the day?

Christa Innis: Yes. I think on the day,  if someone…

Mariah Humbert: Okay.

Christa Innis: Either wearing white or they’re wearing jeans or you know, whatever.

Mariah Humbert: I want you to be so wrapped up in being excited about your day and excited about marrying the person you’re marrying. That if someone shows up. Totally not dressed properly. It’s on them and not you.

I, I hope that you don’t even realize because you’re so engulfed in joy.

Christa Innis: I know. I had one friend that was like, so I don’t want, I dunno if so, stress is the right way to put it, but she was like overly thinking about this one uncle that wears jeans to every event and she’s like, I just don’t want him to wear jeans.

And I was like, if he does. There’s not much you can do. And like there’s no point in like starting a whole thing with his family ’cause he’s gonna wear jeans. Like if he wears jeans, he’ll be the guy in jeans. Like, and if, and then maybe he just won’t be in photos or you won’t see the bottom half of him.

You know? Um, totally Just don’t let it take away from your joy on that day. ’cause it’s something so minuscule at the end of the day.

Mariah Humbert: Totally. And I, I, I wish guests would be more careful with dress codes and really respect that. This is what the couples desired. Um, but again, it doesn’t always work out that way. But again, I hope you’re, I hope you’re so distracted by the joy of the day that you don’t even notice.

The Wedding Disaster That Somehow Became Perfect

Christa Innis:  Yeah,  exactly. Okay. Time for this week’s story submission. So, okay. Someone sent this into me. Um, feel free to stop me or I’ll take pauses. Okay. Drink some water really quick. Mm-hmm. Because I’m so like raspy.

Okay, here we go. “

When I think back on my wedding, I remember how wonderful it was and how much fun we had. I definitely don’t think about all the drama that led up to it during the planning process, but when I look at it objectively, almost every vendor aside from the main catering company was replaced before the big day.

My oldest friend ghosted me after planning a bachelorette party. I would’ve been miserable at. And my niece ripped the front of my dress right before I walked down the aisle. Yet still, it was truly an amazing day.” Well, that’s a good way to start it. That she’s like, it’s…

Mariah Humbert: I’m like, uhoh, what’s coming?

Christa Innis: Like, she looked at it very positively.

Mariah Humbert: Right.

Christa Innis: All these terrible things happen, but it was still great.

Mariah Humbert: I like her attitude.

Christa Innis: Yes. I feel like a lot of it does have to do with like your attitude and your outlook on the day because Totally. You could let rain ruin your day or you could be like, you know what, look how beautiful these photos are gonna be. You know?

Mariah Humbert: Yes. Perspective is everything.

Christa Innis: Yes. Um, my husband and I chose to get married on my grandparents’ 66th, the wedding anniversary. It was a special date and since my grandfather was ill, we wanted to honor them while. While we still could, we booked a local venue and went through a list of approved vendor vendors, selected a catering company that also provided a day of coordinator.

Two days before the wedding, I received an email that the coordinator I had worked with for months was no longer with the company. A woman I had never met who I also didn’t meet on the, on the day of was taking her place. She assured me everything would be handled, and to her credit, most of it was. But something fell through the cracks.

We had brought s sentimental items like custom cake knife my brother-in-law made, and the champagne flutes from my husband’s grandparents’ wedding for our cake cutting and toast. These never made it to our reception because the new coordinator didn’t know about them and didn’t return my calls the day before the review to review details.

Mariah Humbert: Okay.

Christa Innis: Our videographer was another disaster. I paid a hefty deposit, but two months before the wedding, he told me he was moving outta state, couldn’t refund the money, and then blocked my number and stopped responding to emails. How, I mean, how do you even handle that situation if they block you that like. 

Mariah Humbert: that’s cr, I mean, I maybe you get involved legally.

Christa Innis: I feel like that’s the only way at that point, that’s the only way is that contact them. Right. That’s terrible. Just because he is moving outta state. You wanna lose your… 

Mariah Humbert: This is all the same person that’s had this. Oh goodness.

Christa Innis: It’s wild. Oh my gosh. Thankfully we found another videographer who had a last minute cancellation and could fit us in for a smaller package within our reduced budget. And now you’re out that money till you know you can get it.

Mariah Humbert: Right. That’s why I was saying maybe you need to get involved legally. I don’t, you know?

Christa Innis: Yeah. A week before the wedding, the photographer I had booked was in a car accident. Oh my gosh. This poor bride and groom. And need a knee surgery. The company assigned a replacement photographer who showed up in a short cheetah print dress in fishnet tights.

Her assistant handled the groomsman photos, but never got a solo shot of my husband, even though it was on the shot list. The photographer did a solid job, but her personality and style weren’t what I wouldn’t have chosen if I had a choice. I feel like if you go through like a bigger company and they assign someone you don’t really know.

We are gonna get or what they’re gonna wear. You don’t really have a say on that. Right? I agree. Because that’s what we did and we got really lucky. Like our girl was awesome, she was great and really hands-on, but you don’t really, that’s kinda like the price you pay if you don’t meet them. Right, right.

Um, still I was grateful we had someone there to capture the day. Three weeks before the wedding, our DJ canceled due to a family emergency. 

Mariah Humbert: My goodness.

Christa Innis: This is like a tale. This doesn’t even sound like.

Mariah Humbert: I know it’s a true story, but it doesn’t even sound like it could be.

Christa Innis: No, something’s gotta get sent to me. I like will post and people are like, this can’t be true. And I’m like, I don’t know. This is…

Mariah Humbert: No. A real human wrote it.

Christa Innis: Someone sent it into me. We couldn’t find anyone else on short notice, so we made our own playlist, over 300 songs organized by the event, pre ceremony, ceremony, cocktail hour dinner, and reception. We even spaced out slow and fast songs for a balance and labeled all the key moments like our first dance. Good on them. That’s amazing.

Mariah Humbert: I was going to say, they really are making lemonade out of lemons here. Yes. I think that this is such a good foundation for a really happy and healthy life together with being able to, you know. Figure out all of these solutions at such a high stress time. In the moment, I’m sure they were not thinking about that. They were panicking, but in hindsight, uh, kudos to them.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Honestly, that’s a really good point about like your wedding day and like the, the planning up to it is a really good example of how are you gonna tackle, like issues that come up in your marriage or issues that come up.

Mariah Humbert: Conflict resolution and communication.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Mariah Humbert:  But with that being said, it still sucks.

Christa Innis: Yes, it definitely still sucks and I feel like you can still feel upset about those things. Absolutely. Yeah. Um, she said, unfortunately, once the reception started, a guest decided to hit shuffle completely undoing hours of careful planning.

Mariah Humbert: Oh my goodness.

Christa Innis: Our cake was another curve ball. When my mother-in-law picked it up the night before the wedding, it looked nothing like what we had ordered. After the rehearsal, she brought it to me and spent an hour scraping off the icing and reapplying it to look closer to the inspiration photo. Oh my gosh.

Mariah Humbert: Oh my gosh. This is horrible.

Christa Innis: And then my mom was hospitalized with a kidney infection just four days. I’m like, when does it stop?

Mariah Humbert: Is, is there still more to read?

Christa Innis: There’s still more. There’s still like three paragraphs.

Mariah Humbert: Oh my goodness. This poor couple.

Christa Innis: I’m like, I’m glad that it started with, it was a great day.

Mariah Humbert: And I love her. Right. I love her attitude. I love her attitude. This is, but she has a right to kind of like stamp her, stomp her foot.

Christa Innis: Yes. This is like a full on, you can make this into a movie or something. Right. Right.

My mom was hospitalized with a kidney infection just four days before the wedding. She needed surgery, but was released the morning of, she attended the wedding in a wheelchair and went home after the first dances to rest. Oh my gosh. That’s so sad.

Mariah Humbert: It’s breaking. Oh.

Christa Innis: Some of my favorite photos from that night are of my husband pushing her wheelchair onto the dance floor so we could share our mother-daughter dance. Aw. I didn’t have a maid of honor, just a group of bridesmaids, but my oldest friend tried to take over the bachelorette planning.

I had planned that, I had explained that because our group ranged from ages 17 to 38. I didn’t want to go to bars that my, so my underage sister couldn’t go. Um. So we, and we also needed to keep things budget friendly. I wanted something relaxing and fun with my closest friends and family.

She ignored all of that. Booked an expensive Airbnb, insisted on going to a nightclub and made dinner reservations at a five star steakhouse costing over a hundred dollars per person without drinks. Soon, four of the eight girls called to apologize saying they couldn’t afford it, but still wanted to be a part of the wedding.

At that point, I stepped in, canceled the $600 per person weekend, and planned a cozy hotel night instead. Pizza, junk food, cheesy movies. Um. It cost under $75 each and was exactly what I wanted. My friend ghosted me afterwards and never spoke to me again despite my attempts to reach out. Oh my gosh. Okay.

The day before the wedding, my brother-in-law made a fun of a groomsmen’s suit color and my made fun of the groomsman suit color, and my husband agreed. It was terrible. Until we realized it wasn’t the color we chose.

Mariah Humbert: Oh my gosh.

Christa Innis: Oh no. Men’s warehouse had mixed up the order for every groomsman. After a flurry of calls and panic, another brother-in-law found matching ties at Macy’s and Men’s Warehouse swapped out the vest to coordinate with the gray suits. Crisis averted. Then came the wedding day itself. Oh my gosh. I really hope nothing bad happens on the wedding day.

Mariah Humbert: Oh my goodness.

Christa Innis: Since we didn’t have a DJ and I never met the new coordinator, we asked a friend to play the ceremony music, and as the wedding party walked down the aisle, my flower girls, my nieces were the last to go.

One of them got her shoe caught on the tool of my dress, tearing it right where right before I was supposed to walk, I tried to signal the music guy to pause, but he started playing my walk in music anyway, so I tore the rest of my, so I tore off the rest of the tool layer, stuffed it in a bush, and kept walking like nothing happened. This girl is a rock star.

Mariah Humbert: I bow down to her. I really do. She, you know what, that makes me think that this girl is quick on her feet. She’s, she’s got good perspective. Yeah. I, kudos to her.

Christa Innis: It is. She’s like, you know what? I didn’t need that layer anyway. No, whoop rigShe’s a problem solver.

Mariah Humbert: Like, she’s like redesigning her wedding gown seconds before she’s walking down the aisle. It’s, she’s definitely quick on her V and that’s a really good skill to have in life.

Christa Innis: It is. She’s like, you know what? I didn’t need that layer anyway. No, whoop right off click on her. Yeah. It makes me wonder like what she does for work. She must be like an event coordinator.

Mariah Humbert: Right. Like thinking quick something where you have to be flexible and, and quick on your feet and good at making decisions fast.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Um. To top it off, the dress itself wasn’t even the one I had ordered. But it was still beautiful, honestly. So was everything else. The day may not have gone as planned, but it was perfect in its own way. I married the love of my life and we smiled all night.

Mariah Humbert: I think this is a good lesson for everybody and obviously you put your heart and soul in planning the good day and or the best day and you know, you want things to go perfectly and you want things to be great for your guests and, but you, you really sometimes have to take a step back and it’s so hard when you’re so in it.

I mean, I’m recently married so I remember being so in it, but you take a step back and. Think about, you know, you’re marrying the person that you want to hopefully, and you’re in a room filled with the most important people in your life, which doesn’t happens like at your wedding and then like later in life, right, right.

For a not so happy day. So if you can really focus and have that perspective and zoom out and look at the big picture and which I think that this, this person did a wonderful job at, I think it’s a good lesson for everyone.

Christa Innis: I love that. Yeah, I’ve, I’ve been saying this to people before too, like for my wedding, like I felt like at that point I remember my makeup artist saying like, you are one of the most calm brides I’ve ever done makeup for.

And I was like, well, I figure at this point all my friends and family are here. If something happens. What am I gonna do?

Mariah Humbert: That’s how I felt too on the day of, I was not so chill leading up to it. But on the day, I actually surprised myself. Yeah. But I had the same feeling. I was like, everybody’s that the most important people in my life are here.

So if we sit on the ground and eat pizza, that, you know, like it is what it is. It’s, I get to marry the person I love with the people around me that mean the most. That’s really what it’s with that being said, you are allowed to throw a little fit to yourself. If something doesn’t go, it doesn’t go wrong.

Yeah. As long, I mean, doesn’t go right as long as it’s to yourself.

Christa Innis: Yes. No, absolutely. ’cause I feel like every bride I talked to there, if you look back, I’m sure there’s a couple whole slip ups or a couple things of course happened the the way it was supposed to. Um, but yeah, it is about perspective and being able to look back and just being like, okay, this is like, the most amazing people in my life are here and I’m just, you know, grateful to be surrounded by them. 

Mariah Humbert: Um, yes, and some things you can’t control, right? You try and control so much when you plan your wedding, but some things are just totally out of your control.

Perspective is Everything: Stress Less, Celebrate More

Christa Innis: Yeah, no, for sure. So what would you say, um, like some, like parting advice, as I always, I read confessions.

At the end of this, but with this story and just like people that are maybe in the midst of their wedding planning right now, what’s some like, just parting advice you would say when it comes to like etiquette and planning? Um, maybe wedding stress, um, that kind of comes to mind. I know that’s kind of like a big ballpark, but.

Anything that comes to mind.

Mariah Humbert: I think it, it really goes back to what I said before, that this is the, the day that you, your job is to balance how can I create a great experience for my guests and respect my family and the people contributing to the wedding, but not allow that to take away from me having the day that my partner and I dream of having. You know, how can I respect traditions that are important with my, for my family, but also bring in things that really mean to mean a lot to us as a couple.

Um, so I think that the details are so important because it’s what makes the day. But I think that that story again was the perfect example of, of having a good attitude and communicating well and not letting the stress get the best of you. if you’re really in it that’s such a, I probably would’ve rolled my eyes if someone said that to me when I was planning, like, don’t get the stress, don’t let the stress get to you. But when I look back, I think the one thing I wish I did differently was stress a little less.

And so I think it’s, if you can really focus on that, you’re so socially aware and emotionally and aware that you’re having your dream day, but you’re not forgetting that you’re also touching other people’s lives in the in the process of it. And you kind of have the power to make that a good experience for everyone involved.

Christa Innis: Yeah, that makes me think of too, it’s like if you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, you know, and like something happens, like you stub your toe, it’s gonna be the worst thing in the world. When you wake up and like the sun’s shining and you st your toe, you’re just gonna like laugh it off.

Mariah Humbert: It’s so true.

Christa Innis: It’s like, it’s all about that perspective of like, if you start your day off and you’re like. Three things are gonna go wrong today, whatever. And you just like, enjoy the day and enjoy being surrounded by people. It’s gonna be such a better experience.  You don’t want those little, like, little things get to you. 

Mariah Humbert: Exactly. It’s so hard, but it’s true.

The Weirdest Wedding Gifts & Modern Etiquette Tips

Christa Innis: Yeah. Absolutely. Okay. I always like to like end these with confessions that people send me. Um, so here we go. These are, I always have to zoom in ’cause my eyes. Okay. Um, so.

These are okay. Talking about like wedding gifts and giving people, um, gifts at showers. These are weirdest gifts that people have received.

Mariah Humbert:  Oh, this is fun. Okay.

Christa Innis: Um, “this says a used Turkey roaster.”

Mariah Humbert: Used. Okay.

Christa Innis: That’s probably not very good etiquette.

Mariah Humbert: Okay. Yeah. Don’t listen. I, it’s okay to regift, but it doesn’t, it can’t be used.

Christa Innis: Um, “my husband’s friend gave us a candle and a gallon zip lock full of condoms.” Okay. I did not read that whole thing.

Mariah Humbert: Hey. All right.

Christa Innis: Um, my boss, who was both of our bosses, got us one round TV tray, not one, or not two, one for $10.

Okay. Um. All right, last one here. My father-in-law got a box full of ketchup as a wedding gift, and he loved it. Know your options.

Mariah Humbert: I guess, to each their own maybe that’s what he loves. Maybe that person, but maybe that was the best gift giver because they purchased something for him that he loves. Yeah. Right. It’s about, again, I had, it said it a million times. It’s about the gesture and thinking of the person more so than the monetary value.

Christa Innis: Yes. What’s your take on? Um, ’cause I never thought this was a thing until people were posting, um, wearing black to a wedding.

Mariah Humbert: The, I think that this is very outdated back in the day, it was, you know, much more suited as a color of mourning. It was a more serious color. And, um, but I think that that has evolved over time.

And black can be really chic. Um. That doesn’t mean that it’s black tie, you have to wear black, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wearing black it. It’s also a, a cultural thing too. Different colors at different weddings. So if you’re attending a wedding of a culture that is different from yours, you might wanna do some research or ask a family member of the couple of what the proper protocol is.

Okay. But generally speaking, there’s nothing wrong with wearing black.

Christa Innis: Okay. That’s what I know. I was like reading all these stories about people showing up in black and it seen as a bad thing. And I was like, I think I’ve worn black to a couple weddings, but like. I don’t know. Yeah, I think that’s outdated.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Well, awesome. Well, thank you so much for coming on. I’m so glad…

Mariah Humbert: Oh, my pleasure.

Christa Innis: To connect. I’ve learned so much from you, and I’m sure our audience will too, because I’m always ending questions about etiquette and like, especially when it comes to weddings and events. So this was so awesome.

Mariah Humbert: Well, thank you for having me. This was such a fun conversation.

Christa Innis: And so, um, before you go, can you just share again your social handles where people can find you, the names of your books and all that good stuff? Sure.

Mariah Humbert: So my website is www.oldsouletiquette.com. I’m on Instagram and TikTok as Mariah Grumet Humbert, H-U-M-B-E-R-T.

Um, my first book is, “What Do I Do: Every Wedding Etiquette Question Answered.” And the second book is The Essential Wedding Planner. Awesome. I love it.

Christa Innis: We’ll link them below as well so people can check you. 

Mariah Humbert: Thank you.

Christa Innis:  Thanks so much!

by Christa Innis

Wedding Feuds, Toxic Family Drama, and The Invisible String with Sarah Wizeman

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

Get the book!

Ever wondered what happens when your wedding is full of chaos and family feuds?

This week on Here Comes The Drama, the wedding chaos reaches next-level insanity! Christa dives into a jaw-dropping story about no-kids wedding rules, a sister’s outrageous demands, and family drama that almost derailed the big day. Then, Christa and Sarah Wizeman break down the wildest wedding confessions from listeners, from toxic in-laws to surprise pregnancy announcements to overzealous sister-in-laws calling off weddings!

Plus, Sarah shares her incredible journey as an author, her book The Invisible String, and her plans for monthly romance and bridal story releases—complete with skits on TikTok and YouTube. This episode is packed with drama, laughs, and insider wedding chaos you won’t want to miss.

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Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • Sister Drama & Guest List Battles – A no-kids rule sparks chaos when a bride’s sister insists her boyfriend’s daughter be included, leading to ultimatums, family arguments, and threats to skip the wedding entirely.
  • Family Feuds & Step-Family Tension – Mom favoritism and step-family dynamics collide, creating heated conflicts over invitations and long-lasting emotional fallout.
  • Long-Term Grudges & Wedding Fallout – Even small wedding decisions ripple for years—the bride and her sister barely speak, showing how family drama can outlast the celebration.
  • Family Drama & Healing – Sarah opens up about her own wedding, her dad’s no-contact stance, and finding peace with supportive loved ones.
  • The Invisible String Books – Discussion of Sarah’s two books, detailing connections, romance, and how her wedding experiences inspired storytelling.
  • Skits That Educate – How Sarah turns real-life wedding chaos into relatable skits that teach communication and reflection.
  • Wedding Proposal & Pregnancy Drama – Evaluating awkward and potentially disruptive moments at weddings, and how to handle them with grace.
  • Vendor Chaos Stories – Tales of photographers and other vendors nearly derailing weddings, and how couples navigated it.
  • Upcoming Projects & Skits – Sarah teases her monthly book releases, including a Hallmark-style Christmas tree farm story.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  • “People show their true colors in weddings—and it’s wild what comes out when the pressure’s on.” –Christa Innis
  • “Sometimes the drama reveals who really has your back—and who doesn’t.” –Christa Innis
  • “Watching chaos unfold in real life makes you rethink your own behavior too.” – Christa Innis
  • “I never knew mothers-in-law could try to cancel weddings… until I heard it firsthand.” – Christa Innis
  • “The right skit can turn drama into a lesson everyone remembers.” – Christa Innis
  • “By sharing my story, I realized I’m not alone—and neither is anyone else going through it.” – Sarah Wizeman
  • “Wedding drama forced me to be grateful for the people who really showed up for me.” – Sarah Wizeman
  • “Turning these moments into skits helps others reflect and even heal their own relationships.” – Sarah Wizeman
  • “Communication is always the best. I tried reaching out, even when it didn’t work, because it’s worth it.” – Sarah Wizeman
  • “Even without the perfect wedding, I found the perfect people around me who mattered most.” – Sarah Wizeman

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

About Sarah

Sarah Wizeman is the queen of TikTok wedding stories, from unhinged skits to “did-that-really-happen?” confessionals — and she is truly one of the most personable humans on the internet. She’s also an author (yes, a full-on romantic comedy writer!), and I’ve linked her books below because you’re absolutely going to want more of her after this episode. We had an absolute blast chatting, and she even shared her own jaw-dropping wedding drama that left me stunned — plus we dove into some wild listener submissions that took the chaos to a whole new level.

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Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis:  Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis, and this is gonna be a short introduction because I’m starting to lose my voice. Um, it was a little raspy in the beginning, but I had so much fun talking with my guest today. Sarah Wizeman, she’s all of TikTok sharing different wedding stories, skits, and I just love chatting with her.

She’s so personable and she’s actually an author as well. She wrote a romantic comedy too, in fact. Um, so I have the links to those below, but we just had so much fun chatting and she shares her own wedding drama story that will have you completely shocked, um, in addition to our other wedding story submissions that we read.

So without further ado, please enjoy this very special episode with Sarah Wizeman.

Hi, Sarah.

Sarah Wizeman: Hi Christa.

Christa Innis: Thank you so much for coming on. I know we’ve been like chatting before recording, but I’m just so excited to finally meet you. I think I was telling you, so many people had tagged you in my comment saying, ‘you need to have Sarah Wizeman on the show. I love her stories.’ And so I thought, what better way to connect and have you on?

Sarah Wizeman: Oh my goodness. How exciting. I know I love you and your skits. Oh my gosh. And we are like, so f familiar or similar, with the wedding stuff, so I’m so honored to be on your podcast, so thank you for having me.

Christa Innis:  Of course. No, I, love like watching skits and like, obviously like that’s how I kind of got into it too.

We were just talking about how we love telling stories and. Even before like making skits, like if I was telling someone a story, I was like such a detail person. Or maybe the details didn’t matter, but I’d be like, the sky was blue and that girl was wearing a pink shirt. And then like people would be like, okay, get to the point.

But like, it’s just part of storytelling. I feel like that’s how you are too.

Sarah Wizeman: Yep, exactly. I’m like every, and then there’s this detail, oh wait, I have to back up. And there’s more details that I forgot about. So let me do that real quick.

Christa Innis:  Yeah. Yeah. So how did you start doing this like skit kind of content?

Like how did you start getting into it? What was your first skit, all that good stuff?

Sarah Wizeman: Well, I started off in TikTok, you know, with the TikTok dances and just having fun with that. I was trying to like, leave my job to be like, become a content creator and an author, ’cause I really loved to write and I’ve always loved to write.

And so, February, 2024, I published my first book, the Invisible Spring. and I was trying really hard to promote it and get it out there. It’s about like how my husband and I have always like, been intertwined with each other. So I was like, let’s try to get it out there.

I didn’t do schizo at first. At first, I was just kind of like reading passages from it and doing little bits here and there. And then I started to do a little bit of, Skits, quote unquote, like where I would just kind of like talk back and forth, not really get full on into the acting. And then one day I got kind of overwhelmed with everything and I was also planning my wedding

I decided, to have a child-free wedding. And, we had someone, like talk to us about how they went to a child-free wedding and they said that they had a wonderful time, but she said that, the bride at that wedding was getting a lot of complaints, from people because they were like, I wanna bring my children.

And so I was like. It would be really fun to just like, let loose and do a skit about this. So I did a skit about a child free wedding, and then it like just took off like the drama of it. Like one lady’s like, ‘I’m gonna bring my children anyway.’ Like I threw that in there and then that one just took off and I’m like, okay.

And then I started to do ones with like bridesmaids and like a couple going on their honeymoon and just like big plot twists, like where it was just like, what just happened? And then it just took off from there. And I’ve been doing skits ever since.

Christa Innis:  I love  that. Yeah. I feel like it’s like the skit content is so interesting because like it allows people to like see it from an outside perspective.

And at first I was like, when I did it, I was like, am I creating like more I dunno, anger or whatever. But then like, I’ve gotten so many messages from people being like, no, you’ve helped me like address the situation or you’ve helped me learn how to talk to my mother-in-law. And I’m like, oh, okay.

 I’m glad it’s doing something. But it’s interesting that you say that your first one was about a child free wedding. ’cause I think mine was too, it’s such a controversial topic.

Sarah Wizeman: Yes.

Christa Innis: And I’ve never like understood why people get so up in arms about it, even as a mom of a toddler Now, if my husband and I were get, were to get an invite, I would not be offended.

And if they were like child free, I’d be like, I girl, I get it. It’s fine. I know you don’t want my toddler running around grabbing everything. Things are breakable. I understand. Yes. So I don’t get where people get offended by it.

Sarah Wizeman: I agree. It was more for, like, for me, the reason why I chose a child free wedding was just like the safety of it.

Like we were an outside wedding. There was gonna be like an open bar there too. And I didn’t want like the kids to, get into any trouble per se, I guess. Mm-hmm. and I also wanted, like, my friends always kept saying like, I just need a night off. I just like, would love to just drop my kids off at grandma’s and just go party with you.

And then I was like, is if that’s really what you want.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: I’m that’s exactly what I’ll do.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I feel like that’s the thing too. It’s like knowing your friends and family, like who you’re inviting. Because that was the same for me. Like, I was one of the last ones to have kids out of my friend group.

They all had kids and they I knew they were the kinds that were like, no, we’re getting a babysitter, we’re gonna have grandma and grandpa watch them or whatever that was. that’s how like all of our friends and family did weddings. Like Yeah. We had like immediate. Like nieces and nephews at the wedding or you had like immediate cousins kids at the wedding.

But most weddings I’d been to, it wasn’t just a free for all, like huge families. And that’s, I dunno, here and there maybe, but like for the most part I didn’t see that. So I just was like, for us, we did like nieces and nephews only and so we have seven at the time. I’m trying to think. Yeah, seven nieces and nephews.

And so I invited all of them ‘ cause they were like a part of the wedding and then I left it up to the parents. Like my sister didn’t bring her twins ’cause she was like, it’s just they won’t have fun. They’ll be fine out. But I left it up to, the parents. But other than that I was like, yeah, we’re gonna do 21 and older.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. I think that is like becoming more of a trend lately to do it that way. And also I’ve seen where like the kids are there for the ceremony and then they go home or they, the couple like, has like a babysitter watch them during the reception part of it too. So I see, I see that happening more frequently as well.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I love that idea. I’ve been hearing that more and more about like, venues that have like another room where you can get like a babysitter and put like toys and stuff. Mm-hmm. I think if I knew, um, like, like friends of mine or something, were having a hard time with a babysitter, I think I would, I’ve tried something like that, or if my venue could have done that.

Mm-hmm. But again, it was like, I feel like it’s also like how you, I don’t know how you handled the situation too, because I think a lot of it, and I’m, I’m sure like the skit you did too, it’s like the entitlement of like, well I’m gonna bring my kids anyway ’cause it’s wild. I personally didn’t have to deal with that, but those stories happen all the time where people are like, I don’t care if it says no kids.

This is my child. I’m bringing them. And like, I’d be mortified to bring my child where she doesn’t belong necessarily. Right?

Sarah Wizeman: You are absolutely right. It’s not, it’s not the actual like, no kids’ rule. It’s the entitlement. It’s like these people that think that they can just do whatever they want and not,

Christa Innis: oh, I think I’m losing you.

Sarah Wizeman: You can bring your child if it’s, if it’s, if it’s really that

Christa Innis: important to you. I think I lost you for a second. Oh, I don’t know if it’s my internet. Let me check. It says my Internet’s unstable. I don’t know. Okay. Oh, it seems okay now. It again. I can switch like my hotspot or something. Okay. It’s like written weird, but anyway.

Um, okay, so we were talking about, um, yeah, it’s more of the entitlement, right?  

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. So it’s more of the entitlement. Like if you were to message me and say like, Hey, I really need to bring my infant, like, or I really need to bring my child, um, or else I won’t be able to come, I would probably be that person to be like, okay, like I understand like you have these needs, but like people who just are like.

I’m just gonna show up with my child because I don’t care. I’m gonna do what I want. That’s like, that’s off. I, uh, that bugs me. That grinds my gears.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And I feel like it goes both ways too because, um, I’ve heard of also stories where like, let’s say the bride and groom says child free wedding, and then someone in the wedding or a guest says, well, I can’t make it then, but best wishes.

Like, they’re so respectful about it. And then the bride and groom get mad and I’m like, you can’t get mad if someone can’t still get a babysitter. So that’s also the entitlement of the bride and groom feeling like the world should just, should stop for their wedding day. And it’s like if you can’t get a babysitter and they politely decline, still send a gift or you know, whatever, you need to accept that and that’s gonna be okay.

Sarah Wizeman: Yes, a hundred percent. Like you said, I see it on both sides and the bride and groom have to realize that everybody else has lies. Their wedding isn’t like the center of everyone’s attention,

Christa Innis: so. Yeah, I know. Um, so what do you think like. So you said that kind of blew up that first skit? Yes. So then do you get people sending you in stories or do you kind of just think of things you’ve seen or what kind of has mostly inspired the stories you do?

Sarah Wizeman: Um, so I do get people who do try to message me stories. Um, I’ve done a couple of those, but I don’t do them often. Um, just because, um, just because like I feel like I would really have to like hop on a phone call with them sometimes and like really get like the actual details. ’cause I’m like, I did that one, I did the first one that was sent in to me.

And I’m like, but she didn’t tell me exactly how this happened. How do I interpret this? I hope I don’t interpret it wrong kind of thing.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: Um, so I, so I’ve done that a couple times, but mostly it’s just me, like having inspiration from like, what people have said to me. Um, sometimes I go on Reddit and get ideas from Reddit.

Like I, I’ll take like a Reddit thread. And, um, they’ll, they’ll say like, what happened? And then I’m like, wow, that’s crazy. But like, what could make this even more crazier? Like, what could be even a bigger plot twist than that? So I’ll take like, inspiration from those types of things.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I love that. It’s funny you say that about like, when people send you in stories.  I, there was a wild story one time, I’m trying to think which one it was. I think it was the one where either it was like a surprise wedding for the bride, like the groom and the bride’s mom planned the wedding. Yeah. And she was like, it was like scary, like, honestly, like how weird it went. But all these people are commenting like, there’s no way this happened.

This couldn’t have happened. And someone literally commented like, do you fact check this? And I’m like, what do you want me, how do you want me to fact check? Do you want me to call all their family members? And I was like, I was like, you can take everything I feel like on the internet with a grain of assault.

Right? So like, I get a, I get a story sent to me and I always say. Like, either I come up with it myself or it’s inspired by a story. Mm-hmm. And I’m like, I’ll just take parts of it and I mix it all up. You know, I put it in a B blender and I mix it. ’cause I’m like, I only get part of the story. And even if I get a really detailed story, I’m only getting it for one perspective.

Um, yes. As I don’t agree with the person that send it to me either, which is really awkward.

Sarah Wizeman: That that’s, that’s very awkward.

Christa Innis:  I know what you mean though, because I’m like, yeah, because a, a couple of podcast episodes actually, um, we’ll see when we get to ours, but I’ve read the story with the person and we’re both like, oh no, this, this person’s like in the wrong.

Sarah Wizeman: Oh no. Yeah.

Christa Innis: And then you have to kind of figure out how to like, twist it and show like both sides and Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, no, I, yep. That’s kind of also one of the reasons why I don’t do a lot of people who send me stories, um, is because like if I do end up changing it and like it offends them because I don’t agree with it, then I don’t even wanna get into like that or like, you know, like offending them in any way I guess.

So yeah, I was just.

Christa Innis: This is unbiased. I’m just taking what I can see. Yes, exactly. Like around like if a bride sent it to me, I might make it from the groom’s perspective and mix. Oh yeah.

Stepmother Sabotage, Wedding Day Chaos, and Family Loyalty

Um, okay. Do you have any wild stories of your own? Like either something you’ve seen or heard or something that maybe you’ve made into a skit? I don’t know, but yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: Um, yes, I have my own story that is based on my own wedding. Um. And it’s a little bit of a long one, but basically, um, what happened was my dad didn’t show up to my wedding. Okay. Yeah. So, um, we’ll go back to when I got engaged. Um, so, um, I got engaged in August of 2023, and then right after that my father announced to us that he, um, uh, was diagnosed with cancer.

Christa Innis: Okay.

Sarah Wizeman: And, um, at that point, uh, he announced that in October, I’m, I think it was so August? Yeah, it was a co it was like a month after month and a half after. So in October he announced by this time, um, I had been with my fiance for a long period of time before that, so we kind of already had like what we wanted to do with a wedding.

So our plan was to go on a destination wedding, like a cruise wedding to Bermuda. Like, we had our heart set on it. All of our friends were on board. Um, and so we sent out the invitations. He got diagnosed. Um, he was, he was still excited about it. Um, he was a little nervous ’cause he doesn’t like to travel very much, but he was still excited.

Uh, one day I get to the, um, to their house and, um, we previously had a cruise plan, but we had to cancel it because my dad’s job and, um, my stepmom, uh, we’ll call her El, um, she commented to me, she’s like, oh, you’re going to Bermuda for your wedding. I really wish we could go back to Alaska. Um, like the other cruise was planned for. And I was like, oh, um, yeah, but this is what, uh, Bernard, uh, my fiance, well now my husband and I really want. And, um, and then that was just, I like, kept that in my mind. I’m like, oh, that’s weird.

A couple months go by. We needed to finalize the bookings for the cruise. And all of a sudden my dad calls me up and says that he’s not going to be able to make it to the wedding.

And I’m like, I need my dad there for my wedding. I need my father to walk me down the aisle. Yeah. And um, so my husband or my fiance at the time, husband now, I’ll just call him my husband from now on out. Yeah. But, um, he and I decided we were gonna cancel the cruise and we were gonna do an at-home wedding and we were gonna use the cruise as like our, um, honeymoon.

Christa Innis: Yeah. So when your dad first said, I’m not gonna the wedding, what was his reasoning? Was it ’cause of the cancer? Was this like he just didn’t wanna trouble or what?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, at first he said like, you know, um, I, this cancer is taking a lot outta me. I don’t know what’s gonna happen, but I can’t travel ’cause of my immune system. That’s why I was like, we need to cancel it. It’s not my dad’s fault that he can’t make it. You know, I, I want my dad there. Mm-hmm. And so, um, we canceled it and we began planning, um, back home.

Uh, fast forward to like, a couple months before my wedding, so this was May of 2024. And my stepmom, my dad and I and my sister were out for ice cream to celebrate my birthday. And she, my stepmother stands up and is like, I have an announcement to make, or we have an announcement to make and we’re like, oh, what’s going on? We’re going on a cruise.

Christa Innis: Stop it.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. I’m my sister. Immediately, sna like, breaks her neck, looks at me and is like. What, like, like looking at me to make sure I’m okay.

I held my composure and I just like nodded and I was like, oh, hmm. And like they explained what the cruise was about. My dad was like looking down the entire time like he knew not even like, wanting to talk. Yeah.

Christa Innis: He knew she must stop.

Sarah Wizeman: So I just like that really hurt. I let it go.

Christa Innis: Other things started. Sorry to cut in, do you?

No, that’s okay. Think, um, when she made that like kind of snide comment about I wish we were gonna Alaska, they went home that night and she’s like, I can’t believe they’re going on a cruise. We need to go on our cruise first. Or like, made some kind of comment.

Sarah Wizeman: Um, she probably could have, I’m not gonna say like, I definitely think she did that or what, but she is the type of person, she’s the type of person to do that, unfortunately. Which it’s really sad, but Yes. Went along. So, yeah, my dad does not have a backbone around her at all. Like, oh, and when he and her got married, uh, there was some issues way back then. There was some issues with us too. We like, kind of fell, fell, fell back, um, because he married her so fast, like within two months of knowing each other.

Oh, wow.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. That’s a whole another story.

Oh, girl. Wow.

Sarah Wizeman: Okay. Yeah. So, um, there were some issues with that. And so, um, like during that time, I was young at that time I was in my early twenties. Maybe I was even 19 at the time, but I was like, I’m not gonna deal with this. And I moved out and, um. Over the years, we got our relationship back and going again.

And, um, I started to have more of a better relationship with Elle, my stepmom and feeling that, um, and then it came to my wedding and then this stuff started happening. And so yes, it does make me question whether or not she would, she would do something like that. She is very capable of doing that.

Christa Innis: And when was their crew supposed to be scheduled?

Sarah Wizeman: like, yeah, like later. Like around the same time or like a little bit later than our maybe. Oh, ours was in, uh, like late September, early October. I wanna say it was like around then or like November. Okay. So it was around the same time.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Did you take everything in you in that moment to not say something?

Sarah Wizeman: Oh yeah. And I’m like. I like, couldn’t process it at that time. Like when she told me. ’cause I’m like thinking like, what’s the next, like what’s the, um, like what’s the big announcement? Because she just before that said that she had like a little announcement and she said that she got a new job when we were at the ice cream place.

And then, um, it was actually, um, at that time where my sister said something like, oh, hey Sarah, just, um, like her skits are doing really great on TikTok. She has like 50,000 followers. And like my dad was like, what? Like, that’s crazy. And then that’s when she was like, I have an announcement to make. And she like, cut in.

And so

Christa Innis:  You have your moment?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Like she’s the type of person that just needs like the attention on her all the time. It’s, it’s very frustrating. Um, like to skip forward a little bit. Like other things started happening after that. Like my dad was retiring from his job. They hosted like a surprise retirement party.

He got wind that I was gonna be there, and that caused a huge, a huge argument because he’s like, L wasn’t invited and you are, do you know how that would make it look? I’m like, dad, I’m your biological daughter. And like, I’m like, and it was a retirement party. He and uninvited me from his retirement party. Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis:  So is he hosting it or is it his work hosting it?

Sarah Wizeman: It’s at his work. So he was like, um, he like worked for, um, like a big highway department. Um, like, you know, they paved roads and stuff and so they always like threw retirement parties there and they invited the family. And, um, we found out later what actually happened.

We found out that, um, Elle was invited, but she didn’t wanna go because she had, um, my, with my dad’s secretary, um, she worked with her previously and, um, they did not get along, so, oh, I wonder why.

Christa Innis: Yeah,

Sarah Wizeman: So she  didn’t wanna go.She was mad.

Christa Innis: So she didn’t want to go. She wasn’t invited, didn’t want to go.

And because of that, they didn’t want you guys going either.

Sarah Wizeman: Right. My dad was like, I can’t let you go because it’ll look bad. And I’m like, how is it gonna look bad? I’m not like another woman. I’m your daughter. Like, you know, like, I’m not the other woman or something like that. I’m your daughter. So, yeah, so, so this all happened, so that happened a month, uh, almost two months before my wedding.

And so I. I’m like, you know, like I always usually let things side, but that really hurt. So me and him had a talk. I called him up two days after that happened and I was like, now that you’ve had time to process everything, like what you did was wrong, that was wrong. I told him like how I felt and then that’s when I brought up like wedding stuff.

Like she’s acting this way, dad, is she not gonna let you take pictures with me? Because she’s not in them like, what’s gonna happen at the wedding? I started to bring that up and he’s like, it should be fine, and all this other stuff. I’m like, it should be fine. No, it’s going to be fine, because nothing is maliciously like happening here.

I don’t have malicious intent. I’m not trying to cut her out. Meanwhile, I invited all of her friends to come to the wedding because she is so like, jealous of my mom. And by the way, my mom is, um, has dementia and doesn’t even like know what day it is. Like, so she’s, she, her personality is there, but like she doesn’t have the mental capacity to understand like really like what is going on.

So she would never try to make anybody feel uncomfortable. Yeah. She just like cracks jokes and stuff ’cause you know, of the dementia. So, but my, but my stepmom still has, um, a lot of like, jealousy towards, um, towards my mother and other people.

Christa Innis: Wow.

Sarah Wizeman: So like, that’s why I got into it with him. ’cause I was like, if this is gonna happen at my wedding, like we need to like nip this in the bud right away.

Yeah. So, he, so we, we were good. Like my, my rest of my family, his own brothers were like, I can’t believe he uninvited you. Like, this is crazy. Um, so fast forward to the rehearsal dinner. Um, I hadn’t really heard much from Elle or my dad, um, before then. I did text Elle like a couple weeks before the wedding asking her what song she wanted to like walk out to.

And um, she like, you’re gonna never walk down in part of the ceremony or like, um, like, um, in the reception when they’re like, and the father of the bride and the stepmother, like, I asked, I wanted to include her. I wanted her to like, um, pick the song and like, I wanted her to be included in that process.

So, um, she picked her song and then fast forward to the rehearsal, um, I’m setting up. Everything’s, everything’s like chaotic. My dad and El get there. I asked him to bring the generator like a couple days before and, um, I, I forgot this part, but on the phone when I asked him that, he like, forgot that my wedding was that weekend.

Christa Innis: Yeah, like for what?

Sarah Wizeman: Uh, like I was like, can I borrow the generator? Um, because I need it to power. Um, I think it was like the DJ booth or something. And, uh, he was like, oh yeah, I’m not, I’m not busy this weekend. I can get it over to you. And I’m like, of course you’re not busy this weekend. It’s my wedding.

He’s like, oh, oh yeah. And I’m like, okay. That was weird. Um, so that happened. Then the rehearsal, he comes in with the generator with Elle. I’m like, hi dad. Hi Elle. They like, are stone cold, like don’t even move a muscle in their face. And they’re just like this the whole time.

Christa Innis: Okay.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Like just mad, just like something, I don’t know.

At that point I didn’t know. And so I’m like, oh, thank you for bringing the generator. Um, can you put it over there? And then they walked away and then like people could tell that what happened. And so they came up to me and they’re like, are you okay? Like, what just happened there? And I’m like, I don’t know.

I don’t have time to deal with that right now. I have so many things to set up. So, um, I, I set up stuff. Um, things are, um, like we eat and then we decide to do the actual rehearsal. ’cause we, we rented like a property from our friends, like overlooking a lake. So like, we just had our own timeline. So we just like set up a tent.

We had like dinner and then we did like whatever the rehearsal. So we’re getting ready to go, like walk down the aisle and practice all of that. And, um, I’m like ready to start walking down the aisle and then all of a sudden I’m like looking and my dad’s like nowhere to be found. And then I like turn and look and he’s way back there, like across like the tent. He’s just sitting with Elle by themselves. And I’m like, are you gonna walk me down the aisle? And he like, was like, yeah, yeah. And he like runs up, walks me down the aisle and then we practice it again. Um, he’s like very hesitant to come stand next to me. And when I asked him to stand like near like the rest of the bridal party, my mom was there as well.

He like said no and like ran back down the other end of the aisle to stand next to Elle.

Christa Innis: So like he’s scared of being like within six inches of your mom?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. Right. So, um, so it sounds like him and Ella been married for a while or together for a while now at this point. Yeah. So it’s not like, it’s like some new like fling and your mom and him, like just, you know, like, why can’t you just be like adults?

Sarah Wizeman: Right. Exactly. Right. Yeah. No, they were married for, at this point, 12 years. So they had, yeah, plenty of, I don’t know, plenty of time together. Yeah. I’m just, yeah, it just, every time I, like, every time I tell this story, I’m just like, yeah, I know. I’m like, yeah, I know. It’s cool. Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. Um, but um, so that happens.

I finally like, um, we wrap it up. And, um, I’m just like overwhelmed by like, what’s going on? I’m like, I don’t feel good about this. Like, I don’t feel good. My dad, like the photographer was there ’cause she wanted to practice and she came up to me and she’s like, just to let you know, you like, you need to work on your smile, like to walk down the aisle.

’cause look at these photos, you look miserable. And my dad’s in the photo and he’s like, like, so like not enjoying his time. And I’m like, oh my gosh, you’re so right. Um, so I start packing things up, um, l and my dad LB lines it to the car. My dad comes up to me and he’s like, ‘when is l supposed to be walking down the aisle?’

And I’m like, uh, she’s not dad. We just practiced it. If she was walking down the aisle, we would’ve practiced her walking down the aisle.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: And he’s like. Oh, well, um, I thought she would be walking down the aisle or something to that effect. And before I could answer, my uncle, his own brother came up and my dad turned and saw him, and then he was like, well, anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow.

And then he like, oh, before I did that, I gave him a gift. Like I was like, this is for Elle and this is for you. I just got like a little plaque for her that said thank you for being my stepmom. And for him I like had like a little t-shirt made that said Father of the bride, and I gave them, or I gave him the gift to give to her in the car.

And then my uncle comes up and then he walks away. And then…

Christa Innis: Say the same thing in front of his brother?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Weird.

Sarah Wizeman: And my uncle, whose name’s Matt, he came up to me and he’s like. Did I hear that correctly? And I was like, what? That L’s supposed to be walking down the aisle? And he’s like, yeah. And I was like, yep, you sure did.

And he’s like, that’s a bit ridiculous. And I’m like, I know. And then, um, and he’s like, you gave her a gift and she didn’t even come up to you and accept it herself? And I was like, yeah, I guess you’re right about that. Like, you know, I’m like, I’m, I’m like my mind’s a million times right now. Like everything I have to still do for the wedding, this happening.

Like all of like, what’s like going off, so.

Christa Innis:  Okay. So, yeah. So what wedding do you go to where the stepmom, let alone, even like, the moms don’t typically walk down the aisle, so why get so up in arms, like offended by that?

Sarah Wizeman: That’s Yeah, I know. It’s, it, it was mind blowing to me. Like, I’m like, what? So, um, so yeah, so fast forward to that night.

We get back, we stayed at a, like a lake house to get ready. Um, so we spent the night there. Me and my bridesmaids, my bridesmaids all had like an intervention with me that night. They like, were like, Sarah, you need to stand up for yourself. Like, you need to stop just like letting things go. Tomorrow is your wedding day.

Do you wanna be miserable walking down the aisle? And I was like, no. And he’s, and they were all like, it’s so unacceptable the way your dad and Al treated you tonight. Like, um, like, it’s not you. It’s them. Like, they were like trying to convince me that I wasn’t crazy. And I was like, yeah, yeah, I know. So, um, we made the decision together to not have my dad walk me down the aisle and I was gonna have my Uncle Matt walk me down the aisle.

Okay. Um, and my uncle Matt has been there for me. Like, he’s like my dad. Like he, my, I wish my dad was like Uncle Matt. Mm-hmm. He doesn’t have any kids of his own. And him and I have like this bond that has just been like so strong since I was born. And so he’s like the ones that, he was the one when like, my dad wouldn’t be able to show up to my sporting events.

Like, he was always there. Um, I owned a food truck for like five years and he showed up to every single food truck event that I did. Um, so he was, he’s really like, you know, the best person ever. Yeah. And we almost lost him to COVID a couple years before and I didn’t think that he was gonna make it. And so I was like.

You know what? He’s here, he is like a miracle. And you know what? I’m gonna have him walk me down the aisle because I think that’s like what, like what is like, like what God is telling me to do at this point. Like mm-hmm. I think this is like what fate is, like this is fate. Mm-hmm. So the next morning, um, we have to go and quickly set up like the little place cards and stuff.

And my bridesmaid, um, her name in my book about this is Taylor, but she’s my best friend and she, her name’s Amanda. She, um, I. She absolutely was like, I will talk to, or I will send a text message to your dad so you don’t have to worry about it. Whoa. Yeah. So she writes, she writes up a text message, um, and then she’s like, does this sound good?

And I was like, yeah. So she basically said like, Hey, she pretended to be me in the text message. She was like, Hey, um, I just wanna let you know I love you, dad. This is like nothing personal against you. I love you so much. But, um, unfortunately with everything that happened yesterday, I’ve decided to, um, make the decision to have Uncle Matt walk me down the aisle.

Um, I just, I forget what exactly else was in that note or in that message, but basically it was like, I love you and, um, I still want you there, and, uh, I just am doing this so that I can have a great day tomorrow. So she crafts up that message and we send it to together. And then I’m in the chair getting my hair done and my dad calls me and he is calling me.

Or he, he, he or I say hello. And he’s like, what do you mean? And I’m like, yeah, dad. I just, what happened yesterday? Like I can’t, I can’t be in that same mindset for my wedding. This is supposed to be the best day of my life. And that definitely didn’t feel like it yesterday. And so he just went off. He was like, well, the reason that I was me and Elle were like that yesterday is because we found out that you and your sister hate Elle.

And I was like, what? What? And then lo and behold, um, her biological daughter, Elle’s biological daughter, who was my stepsister, um, she. Got into, um, an argument with Elle and she told Elle that she’s self-centered, always has to have the attention on her. She like, basically like called her out on everything and then said, everybody wants your toxic behavior to change, including Sarah and Katie, who’s my sister, my biological sister.

And so they heard that and they like took it to the next level and said like, oh, you hate, like, you guys hate. 

Christa Innis: That’s so well ’cause it’s like if someone, if someone heard that like out of nowhere mm-hmm. Don’t you think they’d be like, be like, I need to talk to them, or like, I need to like look forward or something.

Not like, be like, well we heard you hate her, so we’re just not gonna show up and we’re gonna glare at you the whole time. Like Right. It seems so like juvenile to me, right?

Sarah Wizeman: Yes. Yes. And, um, at, at that point. I, I realized when they said that, I’m like, that’s why the last couple of months have been weird. And also they have like barely reached out to me.

So I’m like, oh, okay. Um, so then the whole phone call is just him yelling at me and him like bringing up like everything from the past, like, just like saying like basically how much of a bad person I am. It was just, that was so, that was crazy. Wow. Yeah. And just like listening to my dad, like taking stories out of hindsight and then like reversing them and basically creating lies.

It was just, that was like sitting there on your wedding day, like listening to this. My like, bridesmaids were all in front of me with me on speaker phone talking to ’em and they were like, like that. Oh. And then, um, Elle gets on her phone,

Christa Innis: She probably has on her phone. She gets on the phone?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Yeah. She gets on the phone ’cause he’s like, I think you should talk to her. And then…

Christa Innis: On your wedding day?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, this is me. I’m getting my hair done. The poor hairstylist is in the back. Like, like trying to play, like trying to be cool. I like had to apologize to her a million times. I felt so bad. I’m like, oh my gosh. Um, and so Elle gets on the phone and she starts yelling at me and, and saying like, oh, I heard what I heard.

And then I’m like, okay, uh, it’s not true. Like, I’ve never said that I hated you. You and I both know we’ve had our difficulties in the past, meaning like when they first got married and I like moved out ’cause I couldn’t deal with it. Um, you know, and I, you and I both had our difficulties in the past, but I thought like, we like resolved that kind of thing.

And so, um, so yeah, I just, I kind of told her that and then she like went off on me some more and then my bridesmaid, Amanda came up. And was like, Sarah, you are not dealing with this anymore on your wedding day. And she grabs the phone from me and she goes in the other room and she says, you can hear her saying Elle, hello, Elle.

And Elle’s still talking like she can’t hear.

Christa Innis: So she’s just going off.

Sarah Wizeman: She’s just going off. Yeah. And she finally, you hear Amanda go up and then like silence. And then she’s like, Sarah’s gonna walk down the aisle with Matt. If you have a problem with it, then too bad you can show up or don’t show up. I don’t care.

And then like you hear Elle hang up and then Oh, and then you hear, you hear Amanda just like, that’s right bitch. And then she’s like, and she’s like, um, she’s so funny. She’s just like, yeah, and that’s what I thought or whatever. And then I’m sitting there like shaking. ’cause I’m like, what just happened?

And so, um, all of my sister’s crying. All of my bridesmaids are like, like, I’m like, so feeling so bad for my bridesmaids too. ’cause I’m like, they, they could probably come from normal families. Like, you know, they’ve never seen this, like in my mind at that time. I’m like, oh my gosh. So, um. He ended up not showing up.

He texted him and my, uh, husband Bernard are, were very close. Like, um, he, they would do stuff together all the time. And he texted Bernard before our wedding and said, Hey, I’m sorry I can’t make it. And Bernard thought it was a joke. So like, when we’re doing our first look, but.

Christa Innis:  He doesn’t know what’s going on.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. He doesn’t know what’s going on. Oh my. And so Bernard is like, I got like, your dad is like really bad at dad jokes. Like, and I’m like, oh no, that’s not a joke. And then he was like, what? And I’m like, yeah. He’s not coming. He’s, he’s not coming. And, um, he didn’t show up. And, um, none of her, like friends, like I had a whole table not show up because all of, she like told all of her friends not to show up to the wedding.

Her friend, her best friend’s son was our dj. Um, and he showed up. But, but because he knows l and he came up to me and he is like, I’m really sorry what you went through. My mom told me what happened. And um, she told me a little, he, she’s, he’s like telling the story of way that she heard it, which was not accurate, but he’s like, I know that that wasn’t it.

’cause uh, he’s like, Elle did the same thing at my wedding. Like he was, he, he told me that like. He like, or she, um, I guess like yelled at his wife at the wedding or something. I don’t know. But like at the time I was like, what? Like, I’m like sitting there at dinner when the DJ comes up to me and I’m like, she did what?

So it kind of made me feel better though. ’cause I was like, oh my gosh, at least I’m not the only one, like who like know, like that sees her side like her true side. Because for a while, um, I would like my whole family, like my sister and my uncles and I were not separated, but like I would be on like my dad and Elle’s like side side.

I don’t wanna say like that, but like, basically I would go over there for holidays and then I would show up later to the rest of the family’s holiday. ’cause they didn’t have holidays together ’cause they didn’t get along. And so I’m, I’m like, was like the middle ground and like they were trying to tell me like all the things that like weren’t acceptable by my dad and Elle.

And then finally like, I was like, you know what? I see what they’re saying now. I see what’s going on. This is very toxic behavior. And after that I realized that like, that’s very narcissistic. I didn’t really know narcissist, like I’ve heard the term narcissist before and I’ve like seen like in like relationships, like where the guy is like a narcissist to the girl, like girlfriend.

But I’ve never seen it like parent, like parent wise. And I am like, oh, well, nope, you’re, that’s it. You know?

Christa Innis: Yeah. And the fact that she instantly made it like victim mode where like you said, you don’t like me, so you’re terrible. Not like. Not understanding that like maybe someone doesn’t like you because of how you treat them.

Yes. Like she can’t look inward to be like, how have I treated ’em? Yes. And then for your dad to just go along with it and just be like, well, she said so I’m just gonna go with her. It’s like, this is your daughter and your daughter’s wedding. Like

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Yeah. I know. And he, I am convinced, he’s like brainwashed, I guess is the best word for it.

Um. I mean, like he, my, my husband always says too, like, he’s the one that has to live with her every day. And unfortunately, he’s probably picking his battles. Like, is he gonna go against his wife that he has to deal with every day? Who knows like, what she’s capable of? Yeah. Or is he gonna like side with his daughter who like, doesn’t see him like that often, you know?

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Sarah Wizeman: And so it’s really sad to say it like that, but he like had a point. I was like, yeah, that’s, that’s true. I guess, but not, yeah, it’s not either way. Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: It’s not great. It’s not okay either way. It’s right. I feel like it’s like, on the outside, it’s, it’s easier for, not easy, but like for us to look at it and be like, all right, I guess, you know, like that’s the situation, but, like if my, you know, partner was telling me, uh. That about my daughter or like, you know, I’d be like, excuse me. You know? Yeah. Like, um, yeah, I don’t know. I always, I always wonder about stories like that because I’m like, I’m like, it breaks my heart when you, when they like get, like you said, brainwashed by someone and it’s like, what does she have that’s so great that like, you can’t see like everybody else in front of you saying she’s the, she’s the problem over here.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, exactly. I, I really don’t know what it is other than the fact that like, when they first got together, like when my dad and her first got together, things were a little rough because like, my dad was actually in the middle of dating someone who had cancer and like, he didn’t want to like, she was like stage four and like he, like, he didn’t want to like.

I guess he was like a coward in that way. Like he didn’t wanna break it off with her. It’s like there’s so many, like there’s so many little stories to that that’s like a whole nother like hour. But basically like, I guess Elle had trust issues coming into that relationship because they got married so fast and she didn’t realize like everything that was going on.

And so like what I think is happening is that like he married her legally and like realized how like kind of crazy she is. And um, possibly like is scared that like she’ll take everything from him if he like divorces her and stuff like that. I’ve like thought about that. Like me and my uncles talk about like things like that, but I don’t know. I really, I don’t know why my dad, why my dad is like that at all.

Healing, Family Drama, and Finding Connection Through Storytelling

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. I guess we never really fully know or always know the full story, but Yeah. Wow. So that kind of inspired your first book or not inspired, that’s partially in your book, “invisible string?”

Sarah Wizeman: So I have two, so there’s two parts to it.

So this one that I showed earlier is my first book. This is the one like about like how my husband and I met each other and how like we’ve always been connected since we were little and we didn’t know it. Um, so this is more of like a feel good book. The second book I don’t have in here, but um, it’s the invisible string too, and that’s where like all the drama happens with my wedding.

So and this book and this book, I start, um, it’s like my journal entries and I start talking about wedding planning in this book and then it carries on to the second book where my actual wedding happens. And it’s like all the drama from that. So you can see like into my mind, my journal entries are in there of like when it happened and um, yeah.

And unfortunately my dad still hasn’t. Talk to like any of us. Like he cut off contact with me. My sister, um, my uncles, he cut off like everybody. And I’ve wrote him letters. I’ve, I’ve done a lot of healing. I’ve like debated the no contact thing for a while. And then, um, and then I, uh, decided, you know what?

I, I think talking is always the best. Communication’s, always the best communication is key. We wouldn’t be here, we wouldn’t be in this predicament if they just communicated with me and asked me like, did you say that? Or like, whatever.

Christa Innis: Right?

Sarah Wizeman: So I was like, you know what, I’m gonna do that. She wrote a letter, didn’t hear back, have called him, hasn’t haven’t heard back.

And so, yeah, I’m just like kind of on my own healing journey. I’ve been, I’ve been really in my healing journey this past year, but now it’s like getting to the point where it’s like, all right, you know. I’m, I’m good. I’m, I’m, I’m, I’m good now. Like I am, you know what, I’m no contact from his side, I guess. And, you know, it’s, he, it’s his loss at this point.

Christa Innis: You know?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah.

Christa Innis: So true. And it’s like, and it sounds like at least you have, um, like your son, like your uncle Matt and your sister and you know, and you, people around you that support you and love you and, and not saying any of that’s gonna fill a void or whatever, but I’m sure it’s like helping with the peace of like, okay, I have Uncle Matt who’s been a father figure my whole life.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah.

Christa Innis: And it really is your, your dad’s loss because that’s just, it’s disappointing on so many levels that someone can be brainwashed so easily and forget their family like that.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Yeah. And what is really like a positive experience out of this is that by sharing my story, and I did a whole skit on my book, I turned both of my books into skits, like long form skits.

Um. What’s really positive about it is like how many other people who like, have gone through the same thing and they are like, you really, you know, made light of something that I didn’t even know that was like, that was like an option that I could like do. Or, you know, like they didn’t feel alone. I keep getting messages like that.

I don’t feel alone in this. Like, I thought I was going crazy, but I’m not the only one. And it’s really nice to hear those messages that, you know, like my books have helped people and, and like they can relate to them. ’cause it makes me feel less alone too. Like, oh my gosh, I’m not the only one that goes through like tr like this traumatic stuff.

Like, especially during we, uh, like a wedding, you know, it’s, yeah. You know, it’s like, like I was like, the wedding for me was like such a big deal. Like I was so excited to plan my wedding and then like all of this happened and I, it was just like, it was like, okay, it was like kind of a wake up call for me.

’cause I was like, maybe I put too much like, um, what’s the word? Like expectations? Yeah. Yeah. On like, my wedding and like maybe that like, it allowed me to be grateful to be in like, the present moment and to really value like my actual friendships and the relationships that I did have. Like my, my bridesmaids who came to bat for me.

They were all there for me. Like, I may not have had a dad walk me down the aisle, but I had my uncle Matt and my girl show up for me. And that like, really like made me realize how grateful, um, I should be like for all of them and how thankful I am for all of them.

Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s like, I feel like we hear a lot of times like in these big events that, you know.

People show their true colors, right? And so, like, people that are jealous of you or people that have animosity towards you, it will show in these toxic, in these like 10 high tension moments, right? Mm-hmm. And so with them, yeah, it showed, it really showed, and they could not handle it. Mm-hmm. But everyone else, we don’t talk about enough about like, or it shows that it lifts people up and it shows like the positive people in your, and influences your life as well.

So I feel like, um, that’s something we were saying too before recording, is I feel like these stories allow people to connect and also like learn from them or mm-hmm. Um, see it from a different perspective. Like maybe, maybe the dad, a dad. And another story is watching your story and being like, oh my gosh, I was an idiot.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. I’m gonna go talk to my daughter. You know? So I, I was too, because I’ve had moms message me like, um, like mom’s, I should say. Like, that would be like my, my parents’ age. Um, grandmother’s. They’ll message me and they’ll be like, when I first saw your content, like some of it, like, not offended them, but they’d be like, oh, it made me like think a little bit.

And they’re like, but I’ve learned so much about like how to like communicate with my adult children and how to do this differently and how when I’m overstepping. And so like, like I’ve got like a heartfelt message that was like, thank you for that. And I was like, I never even realized that. So you could think maybe I’m helping another woman in this situation.

Or maybe like someone else is watching, being like, oh my gosh, I’m, I’m not gonna be the toxic stepmother. I wanna be more encouraging. You know? So yes, there’s a lot that could come from it.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. That is so true. I actually never thought of it that way. Like I never thought about that part of like someone who is like maybe the toxic mother-in-law or the toxic father or the bridezilla, like watching our skits and being like.

I just did that and maybe I need to change, like you’re totally right and I hope that that does happen. I would love to, I would love to hear stories like that actually, like where they’re like, oh, I realized that this happened and it made me be a better person.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I think so. Because I think it’s like, think about like when things happen in real life, you know, it’s so much more like nuanced, but you see something on tv.

Mm-hmm. And you’re like, oh my God, that’s outrageous. I would never do that. But then you like kind of like you can be like, oh, but you kinda like relate it to your own life. So I feel like if we’re able to like see it play out in a different way, we’re like, wait. Yeah. Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: Right. Yeah, I know. And I feel like.

I know like when you do your skits and when I do my skits, we like very, are like, we’re very much like with, very detailed with the dialogue and so like I feel I’ve gotten that comment before where people are like, oh my gosh, my mother-in-law or whoever has said like the same exact thing to me or something like that.

So it’s, it’s cool to like flip that around and being like, I wonder if people who are in those positions. Hear what we say in our skits and think I just said that exact same sentence, maybe I need to change kind of thing. So yeah, like, oh,

Christa Innis:  I didn’t realize that was so toxic to say.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah,

Christa Innis: Yeah.

I think there’s a lot of learning that comes out of the skits, like, oh yeah, for sure. Yeah. Oh yeah. I, I think so too. Thanks for sharing that. I know that was like, I’m sure that’s like a lot to like go through and retell, but I think that’s awesome. Yeah. Send me the links to your books too. We’ll talk about it after, but like, and we’ll, we’ll put the links to your books in the show notes.

Okay. Because I feel like, I feel like people, like listeners would love your book as well, because like, they love, like the, they love the romantic stories. They love like the drama. They love a good mix. So definitely share those with me. We’ll put them.

Sarah Wizeman: Okay. Yeah, absolutely.

Red Flags, Green Flags, and Wedding Chaos Decoded

Christa Innis: Um, okay, before we get to the submission.

Submission. This is the follower submission. Why am I saying that? Weird story submissions. Um, we’re do red flag, green flag. Are we, are you fine?

Sarah Wizeman: Oh, no, I’m good.

Christa Innis: Okay. Okay. Awesome. Um, okay, so this is Red flag versus green flag. Um, here we go. Okay. “The groom’s sister demands to be a bridesmaid even though she constantly argues with the maid of honor.”

Sarah Wizeman: Ooh. Yeah. I would say that’s a red flag for sure.

Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s it.

Sarah Wizeman: Um, but like we were saying earlier. It’s like, there’s always two sides to every story. And this is like the stuff that I take, um, and I’m like, let’s think about it from both perspectives.

Like at first you present a skit to be like, um, the, the sister of the groom demands like to be a bridesmaid because, but like argues with the maid of honor. But then you show like the maid of honor, you show like the other side of like, what’s really going on and like maybe the maid of honor is like doing some evil stuff or whatever.

Some like, like, um, like how I would flip it would be like. Um, the sisters’, uh, the groom sister is actually trying to save the wedding because the maid of honor is trying to like, sabotage ITT or, or something like that. Yes.

Christa Innis: It’s all about like how you word it for No, totally. Yeah. I’ve even had skits where people like, hate one, one character at first, and I see their comments.

I’m like, oh, just wait. Just wait. They’re gonna find out. And then I’ll like completely twist it and they’re like, wait, what? Oh my gosh. I thought I liked, you know, um, because I’m just like, you never know from, Look. Yes. Oh my gosh, that’s so funny.

Um, okay. “A bridesmaid insists on bringing her toddler to every pre-wedding event, even though the bride said ‘No kids.’”

Sarah Wizeman: Red flag.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like we said earlier, it’s like, if it’s like a one off thing, like, oh, I mm-hmm. Sit or canceled or whatever, I’d be like, yeah, that’s fine. Like my, I think my baby shower and bridal shower, I kids or whoever wanted to bring their kitchen to come of course, but mm-hmm. Yeah. Every wedding event, and they’re like, oh, can’t, they’re gonna, they’re just coming with me. It’s like, okay. Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Especially if it’s every, every time like, oh, like disregarding the bride’s feelings for everything. I’m just gonna bring them because I didn’t plan ahead, or whatever. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: Exactly.

Christa Innis: The, um, “the maid of honor gives a 10 minute speech that turns into a story about her breakup and how she learned to love again.”

Sarah Wizeman: Oh, red flag. Oh gosh.

Christa Innis: Like no mattered way. What way You look at that, that’s a red flag.

Sarah Wizeman: 10 minute speech. Red flag. No, I’m just kidding. My sister actually gave like a 10 minute speech. It wasn’t that like that, it wasn’t like that. But she gave me, she gave a 10 minute speech that was like, um, talking about all of our like memories and stuff at the wedding.

I think she, she did that because like she added on more after like, the whole thing blew up. So she was like, let’s make this like a good vibe. Like remember all the good memories kind of thing.

Christa Innis: Yes. No, that’s good. That’s, you have to sometimes, like, you need someone like that that’s gonna like really like think on their feet and like flip their vibe completely.

Right. Um, yeah, I’ve, I’ve definitely heard of a few like situations like that.

Um, okay, last one. “The photographer rearranges the entire timeline because they know what works best for lighting.” 

Sarah Wizeman: Oh. I would say red flag at first. Yeah. Yeah. Red flag probably. But yeah, red flag. ’cause they, I mean I, I’m thinking about like putting the time into like my timeline and I’m like, if anybody changed that, I would be so upset. So, yeah, red flag.

Christa Innis: See, I cares about the lighting. I have a weird, like, per perspective on this one is because, okay. My photographer did my timeline, so before the wedding, oh. Like I could finalize some stuff, but like, we did, like, my photographer was like amazing. I don’t even know if photographers did this, but we sat on the call for probably like two hours, an hour and a half, putting the whole timeline together.

And she’s like, okay, these photos, if your wedding’s at, I think it was like we had an early wedding, three 30 or four 30, I think four 30. She was like, then we should do photos here. Your couple’s photos here. If we want nighttime photos, they should be here. So like, we kind like planned around it. Oh, okay.

But, um, so yeah, I was like, so she. If she moved it, I’d be like, okay, you know? You know what you’re doing. Yeah. Okay.

Sarah Wizeman: Okay. Yeah, see that would be the, yeah, that would be green flag that would like that whole thing. That’s like really awesome that your photographer did that. That’s amazing.

Christa Innis: I know. I don’t know if that’s, yeah, I don’t think that’s typical, but she was like, I always get together with my bride and groom like the week before and we just go over the full timeline and she like sent it to, she typed it as we were like talking and she sent the whole thing over to us, so then I just kinda like updated from my brides and bridesmaids and groom went and sent it out, so. Oh, okay. Yeah. That’s awesome. That’s really cool.

All right, let’s get to this week’s story submission. I’m a little raspy today, so bear with me.

Sarah Wizeman: Oh yeah, I understand. I don’t know. Where are you from Christa?

Christa Innis: I’m from Chicago Suburbs, but I live in Wisconsin now, so. Oh, okay. Yeah. Snow lots. Lots of snow. Yeah.

Yeah, so it’s just been like, we got what? I don’t even know. Like 10 inches maybe over the weekend. Oh, okay. So it was like, it was like a blizzard.

Sarah Wizeman: Yes. I live in upstate New York. Right. Like two hours from Canada, so, um, yeah, snow here too. So, and I woke up this morning, I was like, oh my gosh, I hope this clears up before the podcast.

Christa Innis: I know. Plus I feel like, I dunno if you feel the same way, like you’re just like, with filming and all that stuff, you’re just talking all the time. Mm-hmm. So there’s some days, like I’ve lost my voice more in the last couple years than I think I ever have. Mm-hmm. Because it’s just like recording podcasts.

I do YouTube and then skits. I’m just like, okay, I need to drink tea. Yeah. Yeah. So there’s always that desire. ’cause like, I’ll be like, okay, I’m not gonna do a skit today. Like, I need to take the day off and I’ll just post like for the podcast and then I’m like, oh, they really want the next part. I’m like, I don’t wanna let them down.

Okay. I’ll film the skit and then my husband will be like, rest your voice. I’m like, I gotta get it done. Yes. Like always back here. Like, do it, do it.

Sarah Wizeman: I can relate. Yep.

No Kids, No Compromise: When Wedding Entitlement Gets Real

Christa Innis: Anyway, um, okay, here we go. Love your videos. I’m happy to share my own crazy wedding story from 2021. Feel free to use it however you’d like.

“My husband and I were supposed to get married in 2020, but obviously the Global Pandemic had other plans. We ended up getting married at the courthouse that year and rescheduled our full wedding celebration for the following summer. Since we’d already made deposits and everything, we crossed our fingers that we’d actually be able to have it in July, 2021.

By April, we were still hoping, holding out that hope. The governor finally started reopening things, allowing events again, but only at half capacity. Venues could even be shut down if they went over. We had already planned for an intimate wedding. Our original venue capacity was 84, so they reduced the number to 42, which included us. That meant that we had 40 guest spots total, so we had to be strict about it. Originally, our guest list had 50 people, so we had to make some tough cuts. We did get to invite many friends, but it was mostly entirely family. It was almost entirely family. After days of pouring over the list, we finally narrowed it down.

While working on that list, I messaged my sister for contact. She lives outta state and had been dating a guy with a younger daughter for about six months. When we got engaged, she’d asked early on if he could come, and since that was pre-pandemic, I’d said, sure, no problem. Oh, here we go.

Sarah Wizeman: Yep. Here comes the drama.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Here comes the drama. Okay. When it co, when it came time to trim the list, I checked with her to see if he was still planning to come. I’d never even met him, but if she wanted to bring him, I would’ve kept his spot. It just would’ve been an easy cut otherwise. She said he was still coming and then asked if his daughter Violet could come too.

Ah, okay. We’d already decided on a no kids rule except for my husband’s niece and nephew. Funny how we were just talking about this.

Sarah Wizeman: Yes.

Christa Innis: Who were a part of the wedding party. So I told her Violet couldn’t come and suggested that Violet’s mom could keep her during the trip, my sister immediately freaked out saying, if Violet couldn’t come, she wouldn’t come either.

If your boyfriend’s daughter can’t come, the boyfriend that’s never met your sister, you’re not gonna come. That’s wild to me.

Sarah Wizeman: That that is crazy. Yeah. What, you’re not, all right, uh uh.

Christa Innis: And also to not like talking about communication. Not even being like, okay, you know what? Let me talk to him first and let’s see if the, if his ex-wife or whatever can watch the daughter.

Yes. Just immediately freaking out.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, immediately. Like not even like, like we were talking about communication,

Christa Innis: right? Like Yeah. Oh my gosh. Okay. It was something different where like she lived in state and she’d met this little girl many times and she’s like, okay, she’s kind of like a niece. Let’s have her too.

But like, she’s never met her. Right. So it also would probably be easier for her to, I mean, I don’t know the ex’s situation, but Right. You know? Oh my gosh. Yeah. Wow. Okay. Um, all right.

“Honestly, I didn’t care whether my sister came or not. That was her choice, but I knew my mom would take her side as always, and of course she did.

When I told my mom who was paying for the venue, she freaked out too and told me I needed to figure out a way to make it work, because that’s your sister’s family. Nevermind. I didn’t even know this kid or her dad, and that we were already struggling to fit everyone in still. I told her I would look into it.

We went back over the list and there was just no way to make it work without cutting close friends or choosing between cousins in the same family. So I told both my mom and my sister that we couldn’t justify adding Violet. I also said that once we got RSVPs, if anyone declined, we’d probably have the space.” Which I feel like that’s a good response, right?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, that that’s a good like backup plan. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. “That wasn’t good enough. My mom threatened to pull out of the wedding completely. No payment, no attendance over this.” Now, the mom,

Sarah Wizeman: The mom, the mom!? What? Did it say if the mom knew the daughter?  

Christa Innis: So far it did not say no. But she keeps referring to it as her family. 

Sarah Wizeman: Okay.

Christa Innis: So I don’t know if they’re like all like, let’s see. So it sounds like. 2020 when they originally got engaged, or 2019 when they originally got engaged Uhhuh. So she’s been with this guy for maybe a year and a half, two years by this point. I don’t know.

Sarah Wizeman: Oh my gosh. What?

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. “My sister accused me of playing favorites because we made exceptions to the two kids in the wedding party.

That’s pretty normal though.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. What!?

Christa Innis: “Then she told me I was dead to her. At that point, I’d had enough. I told her that was her choice and she could consider her invitation revoked.”

Sarah Wizeman: Oh God. Uninvited.

Christa Innis: Oh my God. Yeah. You’re, you’re done

Sarah Wizeman: Uninvited.

Christa Innis: But you gotta kind of like, not saying I support, like being like, you’re done. But I’m like, you gotta kind of like applaud her for being like, be like, okay, well you wanna play two can play that game. Because I think, I think half the time when people threaten things like that, they would just want you to change it. Like they don’t, they’re not gonna actually follow through.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah.

Christa Innis: They want you to, they wanna get their way.

Sarah Wizeman: Yes, a hundred percent. I will back you up on that one. Yeah. I’ve seen it happen so many times.

Christa Innis: Have you? Yeah. I just, I feel like there’s so many empty, like, threats out there. ’cause they just, they know they can take advantage of someone.

They’re like, if you don’t do this, I’m gonna do this. So they’re like, they’re like, I just don’t wanna even risk the chance of that happening, you know?

Sarah Wizeman: Right.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. “Cue my mom’s next meltdown. My sister had always been the favorite and this just proved it again in the end. My sister didn’t come to the wedding.

My mom eventually gave in at the last minute. One of my aunts also took my sister’s side and didn’t attend though, to be fair. I think it had more to do with her finding out my uncle was cheating than our own drama.” Okay. Whoa. I think that was separate. Okay. “That’s another, another thing. Once those people took themselves off the list, I actually got to invite a few people we wanted there.

Oh. And as a cherry on top, my mom also tried to get me to cut my stepmom’s parents, even though they’d been in my life for 20 years and were helping pay for the wedding. Obviously I refuse.” I don’t get the whole like telling someone, you have to uninvite or invite someone to the wedding. It’s like, that’s not how it works. It’s not your day.

Sarah Wizeman: No. It’s not your day at all. And also, like of course, the mother would target the stepmother’s family, like I feel like there might be some jealousy or animosity there or something.

Christa Innis: Story, she’s story like by her parents. It’s like, if they’ve been in her life as grandparents for 20 years, I think it’s acceptable.

Right? Oh my God. What? That’s s so of course the mom was never, the mom was always gonna show up, I feel like.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. I mean, unless you’re my dad, why are, how are you gonna, how are you gonna miss your daughter’s wedding? You know? Yes. Like that’s,

Christa Innis: And now to be like, put this wedge even more between the sisters, because it sounds like they’re already kind of like far apart, like they live in different states, but like the fact that they’re, I don’t know.

It’s, yeah. Um, so she says, “for weeks afterward, my mom kept pushing me to apologize to my sister, even though I’d done nothing wrong. I told her I wouldn’t and that my sister actually owed me an apology. We didn’t speak for months after the wedding. And even now, four years later, we barely talk. So yeah, that’s my story. Use it, tweak it, or do whatever you want with it.” 

Sarah Wizeman: Oh, oh my gosh. That’s that. Oh, man. So did, did she mean her and her sister barely talk?

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. That’s, that’s really sad. Like we’re talking about like looking at both perspectives, right? And so like, I could see, like, I could see where the other sister would be hurt.

’cause like, let’s say she’s been living with this guy now, what did she say? She met him in? It had to be, um, they had, let’s see, it was pre-pandemic. When she’d asked early on. So it would’ve been like 20, yeah. 2019. 2019, right. Yeah. So at this point they’d been together, let’s say at mo at the very most, it would be two years.

Okay. But probably not even, maybe a year and a half. Yeah. Um, so for the sister, like she’s been living this with this guy for a year. Maybe the daughter comes every other week. Maybe she like, takes care of the daughter mostly. We don’t know. Yeah. Um, so I could get feeling hurt for sure. Like if you’re like, this is my family, family.

This is my almost stepdaughter and my boyfriend of two years. But to make that be like, what you’re gonna, the hill you’re gonna die on?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Right. Of course it would be easier for her just to like invite, but I don’t know. It’s, yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: I know, it makes me wonder if like she and her sister have like some sort of back history of like just sibling rival rivalry kind of thing going on too.

Like maybe, I don’t know. That’s, that’s how I think with the whole skits thing, but um, yeah, I, that would not be the hill that I would wanna die on. Me and my sister, we are best friends, but we also are, are like tough critics too. So like, you know, we’ve had a little bit of sibling rivalry going on, but I would never like ever not show up to her wedding if she told me that I couldn’t bring my significant other or my child. Mm-hmm. Actually, my, so Amanda, the girl I was talking about, my bridesmaid, she’s more of like a sister to me, and she had her wedding during the pandemic, and she asked me to, um, come by myself without my, um, he was my fiance at the time.

Mm-hmm. Um, and, or no, he was just my boyfriend at the time, actually. But I, I was like, of course, that’s no problem. Like, you know, like, I’m gonna be there for you. I understand because of what’s going on. I know you would have him there if it wasn’t the restrictions. I know it’s outta your control, so. Yeah.

Um, but yeah, I would not choose that as my hill to die on.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like, I’m even thinking like, let’s say like my cousin who’s like a sister to me, like she lives in another state, let’s say. Like she’s getting married and was like, we’re not doing any kids, so your daughter can’t come. I don’t think I’d be offended by that.

Mm-hmm. Like my blood daughter, I would be like, okay, either I can make it work with a babysitter or I can’t, and be, I either fly with someone to watch her in the hotel room or I can’t make it work. I wouldn’t be like, oh my gosh, how, how dare you like not invite her. Do you hate her? Like, ’cause it’s not that personal.

Yeah. Like it’s not personal. There’s just some places that I feel like aren’t meant for kids sometimes. Yeah. People just don’t want that vibe and, and that’s okay. Like when people get up in arms in the comments about it, they’re like, oh, well, wedding’s a family event. And I’m like, sure. But it’s also a party.

Yeah. It’s alcohol. Mm-hmm. I mean, so it’s teach their own, like, you wouldn’t bring your child into an R-rated movie. You wouldn’t bring your child to like a nightclub or, you know, like there’s, there’s certain places and if that’s the vibe you want for your wedding, you, that’s the beauty of it. You get to pick what vibe you want and um, but yeah, it’s like you can’t be like up in arms about. Or mad at the bride for wanting it a certain way, you know?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, exact. Exactly. Like whatever the bride wants. I, I, that’s like kind of been my motto is like, whatever the bride wants, like, is like what you respect, I guess, or I, I shouldn’t even say the bride is the couples that make those decisions together too.

Mm-hmm. And so whatever they want, like respect that. Obviously crazy. I’ve seen crazy things happen, but I’m talking about like the people who are like, like the no kid weddings or like mm-hmm. You know, um, other decisions that they make. Like I’ve seen like the dry weddings as well. Like we kind of  that’s a whole, like controversy as well too. So Yeah. If you want to support them, respect their wishes, uh, otherwise like just say no thank you to the invite, I guess. Yeah, that would be, that’s like kind of like what my motto would be for that.

Christa Innis: Right. Because yeah, again, it’s like the entitlement because like, she didn’t even try to like. See if they could find someone to watch the child or like, how about we all fly together and then he just stays back with her while go to the wedding. You know, like, yeah. It was anything like that. It was just freaking out on the bride immediately. Yes. And making it her problem. Change your rules for your wedding. ’cause I’m bringing,

and like that’s, that doesn’t sit right, right with me because I’m just like, there could have been so many other ways to go about it. Like if she was like, Hey, actually, like he has sole custody and we, you know, can’t rely on the mom. Okay, well how about you come here and she can come to this, you know, like you can like, communicate through things.

Like, it’s just demanding. I don’t like. 

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, a hundred percent. Like if she would’ve, instead of texted back the demand or like the, the awful things she could have said, Hey, like, let me talk to him and see like what options we have. Do you have any other options on your end? Like, could you go to the venue and say, Hey, is there like, like something that we could do?

Like, could we. I, I don’t even know what the, ’cause that was like a mandatory, like mandate, but, um, I’m just like thinking like, is there something that she could do on her end? Like, you know? Right. Like, it’s like you were talking about, it’s just like all about communication and Yeah. When you come at someone and just like, start yelling like that doesn’t, that doesn’t end well for anybody.

Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. That just starts off all on the bad foot.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Well, that was a, a wild story. All right. Yes. There’s no listening what you, what you think about that.

Wedding Confessions: Toxic Moms, Sibling Drama & Vendor Chaos

All right. I always like to end these episodes with some confessions people send me. They all have to do with weddings and stuff, so, oh, okay. Here we go.

All right. Um, let me check my eyesight here. Okay, here we go. Um, people will send me these on Instagram, so here we go.

Um, “moved across the country hoping it will help my husband limit contact with his toxic mom.”

Sarah Wizeman: Oh.

Christa Innis: Keep us posted on how that’s going.

Sarah Wizeman: Okay. Yes, exactly. Oh my goodness. Um, I hope, I hope that, I hope that the toxic mom is not gonna follow you there. That’s like, like what I think of, I’m like, I hope they don’t gonna move  there.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. And I feel like at the end of the day too, it has to be him that limits the toxic mom.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Like block or block, um, not answer certain calls or talk to her? It’s not, yeah. Um, this says, “currently terrified that my brother and sister-in-law will announce their pregnancy at my wedding.”

Would that terrify you if someone were to announce their pregnancy?

Sarah Wizeman: Um, no. Um, that would not actually, I would be, I would be the one to be like super happy, especially if like they’ve been like waiting for it for a while, like. That would be just me though. Like that wouldn’t bother me. An engagement on the other hand, I think would bother me a little bit more than a pregnancy announcement.

Christa Innis: Proposal at your wedding?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, that’s what I meant. Proposal. Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: I mean, I feel like it’s like, depends on like how they would do it. If they like, were just like, Hey, you wanna let you know? I’d be like, I’d so happy for you. That’s awesome. If they were like in a speech, just so you know, we’re having a baby. It’s all about That’s true about relationships and I think like how you go about it.

Yeah. Because I did get a story sent to me once where, um, the whole like. Engagement. It was like a one upper kind of thing, right? With the two siblings. And the mom wanted to do a grand gender reveal at the wedding and they were like, no, like they wanted like balloons and like, and then they saw, and one of the bridesmaids saw the mom loading boxes of balloons into the car.

And they were like, these are staying out here. And then they like did a big thing at their table. Like she would not say no. She wanted her moment of like announcing that she was gonna be a grandma at the wedding.

Sarah Wizeman: That’s like a, um, a Madison Humphrey, like I can see Madison Humphrey. And being like, oh my gosh.

Wow. Yeah, I can, yeah, that’s on hand. Yeah, no, I was thinking like, it would be more of like, um, like they would be like over in the corner, like at the bar or whatever, and being like, just let you guys know we are pregnant. Like, kind of like talking to their family. Not like a whole shebang, balloons and stuff. Holy cow.

Christa Innis: Right. Yeah. Oh my gosh. So I wonder if like, this girl has like a hint that something big is gonna happen or I don’t know. Mm-hmm. Good luck, girl. Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: Let her know. Let us know or let Christa know what happened. Yes. Let us

Christa Innis: know. Um, okay. This last one says, “sister-in-law to the bride called the pastor and said he shouldn’t marry the couple.” Yikes. Why are we doing that?

Sarah Wizeman: The sister-in-law called the pastor and told him that they shouldn’t, he shouldn’t marry them.

Christa Innis: Uhhuh.

Sarah Wizeman: What? Wait, is the confession? Confession is coming from the bride or the sister?

Christa Innis: No, it just  says, it’s just says the si The bride’s sister-in-law called the pastor. So I wonder if it’s just like things that people like.

Sarah Wizeman: Okay.

Christa Innis: That’s why.

Sarah Wizeman: Wow. That is, that’s, I wonder why, I wonder what provoked that. I, I feel like maybe infidelity, uh, I don’t know. Or just doesn’t like her. Yeah. Or yeah, like the cattiness of it. I’m so nice.

Christa Innis: I just heard a story where a sister-in-law tried, um, canceling the bride’s dress like she called the bridal shop.

And pretended to be the bride and said, we will no longer need your services. And she went around and canceled vendors and venues.

Sarah Wizeman: I did a skit like that once. I can’t remember the actual details, but I remember like the mother-in-law calls in and like cancels, um, cancels a bunch of different things and then they show up and nothing is there.

So. That’s, I feel like that’s like a popular thing. Um, oh my God. Like that. I’m, he, I like hear it all. I hear about that a lot. Like people like, ’cause that’s why, um, like, uh, the vendors have to have a code now. Like, so like when you call in, like they have to make like a special code, um, before you can like, cancel anything because like they’ve had problems with like, people calling in and like changing stuff or canceling it.

Um, that weren’t supposed to.

Christa Innis: That’s why I know. I never knew that was a thing until people started sending me stories and they were like, yeah, my mother-in-law tried changing everything at our venue. And I’m like, what? Why do people, people do that? Like, this is really making these skits. I’ve really learned a lot about how crazy some people are.

Sarah Wizeman: I know, I’m, I agree with you. ’cause I’m like, wait, she did what? I have to act that out, you know, kind of thing. Like, oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. That’s so funny.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Well, thank you so much for coming on. This was so fun hanging out with you. Oh

Sarah Wizeman: gosh. Absolutely. Thank you for having me. I was so excited to be on.

It was so fun to talk about all the different stories and stuff, so thank you for having me on.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And thank you for sharing your story. I know that was a lot probably to dive back into, but, um, can you, for everyone listening, can you share again, like where they can find all your content, your, like your social handles, your book name, and anything else fun you’re working on?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Um, so my book name is The Invisible String. I think it might be backwards, but in the invisible string. No, it’s, it’s forward to me. Oh, it’s okay. Cool. Yeah. Um, you can find it on Amazon. Um, and then all my handles are just @Sarah Wizeman for any of my social media. I’m on TikTok and YouTube. Um, I don’t really go on Instagram that much.

It’s just like, it’s like comp too complicated for me, for Instagram for sure. But yeah. And, um, yeah, I’m coming out with, so I’ve like challenged myself to kind of release like a new book every, like, on YouTube is more like my, like longer stories where TikTok is like my short like bridal stories and like crazy skits.

Um, so I’ve challenged myself to like publish a book every month, um, and then like kind of month act it every month. Yeah. Act it out on Go girl. It probably won’t be as big as this. Not that this is big, but it like, probably will be like short stories kind of thing. But, um. Right now I’m working on one ’cause I work, I help my, one of my best friends who was a bridesmaid of mine, she owns a Christmas tree farm and it is so fun to work with her at the Christmas Tree Farm.

So the next book I’m gonna be publishing here soon is actually like a Christmas tree farm story, so…

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Like Hallmark story.

Sarah Wizeman:  Yes, yes. I’m so excited about it. So, and then I’ll act it out and like post it on YouTube and kind of do that like monthly over there. But TikTok will basically stay like the plot twist crazy wedding stuff and like romance, like I usually like romance, uh, crazy relationship stuff, all that.

Christa Innis: I love that. That’s so smart. That’s such a smart way and fun way to like market your books too and get people. Yeah. Yeah. All right, well thank you so much. We’ll put all the links to all your books and everything in the show notes as well.

Sarah Wizeman:  Okay. Thank you, Christa!

by Christa Innis

Rogue Maid of Honor, a Stolen $2,000 Veil, and DIY Wedding Confessions

“How does a seven-day wedding turn into disappearing bridesmaids, stolen wedding items, and a maid of honor who controls everything?”

This week, I reflect on the fast pace of life in 2026 and share my personal goal for the year: finding pockets of presence amidst the chaos. Also, this week’s story is pure chaos: a wedding planned in one impossibly long week, a maid of honor sabotaging dresses, crushes, timelines, and even the bride’s veil, plus last-minute drama that left everyone questioning why she was chosen at all. In this episode, I break down the red flags, the boundaries, and why wedding parties should not be unpaid labor.

Plus! New Year Giveaway: Win 1 of 4 $50 Amazon gift cards! Share a photo or screenshot of you listening, tag me @heychristainnis, and you’re entered. Winners will be announced on February 12!

JOIN ME IN GREECE OCTOBER 2026!

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

Get the book!

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • A Wedding Planned in Seven Days – The couple caves to outside pressure and plans a full wedding in one impossibly chaotic week.
  • The Maid of Honor’s Jealous Control – Emily dictates outfits, decisions, and even the wedding party lineup, manipulating the bride at every turn.
  • Drama at Hair & Makeup – Emily confronts the bridesmaids, accuses them of betrayal, and storms off with half the bridal party.
  • Addiction Secrets Revealed – A bridesmaid confides Emily’s struggles to the bride, igniting emotional fallout at the worst possible moment.
  • Stolen Luxury Items – From shoplifting expensive décor to gifting a stolen $2,000 veil, the maid of honor’s behavior escalates fast.
  • Setup Chaos & Missing Support – The bride is forced to hammer tent stakes and manage heavy labor while her wedding party disappears.
  • Crush Drama & Vanishing Acts – Emily leaves the wedding to chase her crush—while also flirting with the bridesmaid’s crush out of pure chaos.
  • Lice, Lies, and Last-Minute Regrets – The bridesmaid catches lice from Emily twice, and the bride later admits she wishes she’d chosen a different maid of honor.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  • “How long is this week? This is the longest week I’ve ever heard of.” – Christa Innis
  • “We cannot assume that being in your wedding party means unpaid labor.” – Christa Innis
  • “Keep the bride out of the drama—especially the week of the wedding.” – Christa Innis
  • “At some point, we have to take responsibility for ourselves.” – Christa Innis
  • “If you’re planning a wedding in seven days, keep it stupid simple.” – Christa Innis

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

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Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis, and it is officially 2026, which is wild to think about. I feel like every year goes faster and faster the older I get, and especially with being a mom now. Well. Almost going on three years. Um, I feel like it goes even faster.

And it’s just, it’s unfair how, uh, they always say time is a thief and I didn’t really believe it. And then I got older and I had my daughter and I’m like, oh my gosh, where does the time go? So I feel like even more so, I’ve become more of a planner because I’m like, if I don’t plan things, like I lose track of time and it just gets like taken from me.

It’s like the beginning of the summer, my husband and I had all these plans for our daughter. Like, we’re like, okay, we wanna go take her to the beach, we wanna take her to this museum. And we’re like, oh, we have so much time. And then all of a sudden you like realize, you’re like, I have a week left. Um, and so I feel like I’ve become more of a planner, which is great in some ways.

But one of the things I really struggle with is then being fully present, because you’re always thinking of the next thing. And I don’t know if that comes with like the mental load of motherhood or parenthood, but it’s like I’m always thinking about what’s next. Like I plan things out when it comes to my social media content.

I plan things out when it comes to, uh, family activities, what we’re doing in the next week, and it just makes everything move so fast. So. My goal for this year, and maybe you guys can relate to this or not, but uh, my goal for this year is to find more pockets of presence. And I’m kind of like talking through it as I’m figuring it out, but just those moments of quiet to just be still and really like soak in everything that’s happening.

And I think I brought this up before where it’s like, um, you, we tend to dwell when things aren’t going great and we just wanna get through them, right? But when things are going well, we don’t take a moment to just like soak it in and be like, wow, this is awesome. Or Wow, how am I feeling about this? Um, so I feel like it’s good just to account our emotions and how we’re feeling about things.Um, I feel like a therapist right now. Um, this is like, these are the things that go through my head is just kinda like bounces all over the place.

Small Pockets of Happiness and Personal Growth

Um, anyway, I had notes for today, but I’m just kinda like going off on a whim. I kind of talked about last week how I’m not really a New Year’s resolution type person.

I love goals and I love, you know, the idea of a resolution, but I don’t think it has to be necessarily the, in the new year, I think everyone has their kind of their. Personal best times to set goals, whether that’s your birthday month, your, um, you know, the new year or, um, the next week. You know, some people just have to like do what works best for ’em, right?

I’m someone that always sets weekly goals, monthly goals, and I just. I’m always, like I said, always thinking about the next thing. But there’s something fun and exciting about a fresh year. Um, like, I’m gonna get a little boo here, so just bear with me. But I just love the idea of like a clean slate, trying something new, setting a goal of like, something that’s like kind of wild and being like, oh, you know, I’ve never done this before.

Let’s try it this year. Maybe I’ll fail. Maybe I’ll love it. Maybe I’ll hate it. You know? Um, I think like when we’re really young, we’re encouraged to try all these different things. And then we get to a point, and maybe it’s like teenage years or young adulthood, like twenties, where we’re like, this is who I am.

I just have to check the boxes. I can’t all of a sudden be that person because I’m, I’m a poser then, or I’m, you know, we get all these ideas in our head of like, we can’t go a different direction. Right? And so when I was like 25. Gosh, I don’t even remember the age. I wanna say like 20, maybe 26, 27. I was at this really toxic job and I was just looking for an out, like the beginning.

I was just running through the emotion, the emotions I’d wake up at like the last minute that I had to, to rush around and get ready. I was always late for work. I hated being there. So like miserable there. The boss was so toxic. I would come home crying every day. It was just awful, right? And I was like, there’s gotta be more, like there’s gotta be something else.

I know this is not what I’m meant to do. And it started by like finding some, like more like encouraging podcasts. And then I read a book called Better Than Before, and this book I had had on my shelf for so long. It’s not like a promoted thing or anything. I’m just trying to share some encouragement in the new year.

I had this book book on my shelf for so long, and I was like, I just wanna read it. I wanna read this book. And I kept finding excuses to not read this book. And I would always just tell people, oh, I’m not a reader. I’m not a reader. Like I, I only, you know, read here and there, right? And one day I was like, I’m gonna read this book.

This is my goal to read this book. I’m gonna read it. And it started off talking about how this guy wanted to wake up earlier and he just started slowly, like waking up 15 minute increments earlier and earlier. And I started doing that and then before I knew it, this is gonna sound crazy to a lot of people out there, um, but I would just wake up at five 30 for joy.

It, it completely changed my days and again, this is a while ago. I don’t do that now, so I’m not like trying to say like, and be like me ’cause I don’t, I don’t do that completely anymore. But I would wake up five 30 or six and I would just read. And having that control in the morning made me realize like, I can do so much more with my time.

That brings me joy. And I think it’s really important to listen to that voice. ’cause I think so many times we just move through the motions and we don’t really ask ourselves like, do I do something to bring my joy today? What do I feel today? And if your whole day is spent, you know, like struggling or unhappy, we just go through the motions and we’re never actually fulfilling something in us.

I know that was like a long spiel, so I hope I didn’t lose you guys on that. But what I’m trying to say is I’m just gonna encourage you, like, if there’s something that’s been weighing on you or something you’re like, I wanna try that. Or, when I was 10 years old, I love drawing. I don’t draw anymore. Pick it up and just try it.

Buy a, buy an adult coloring book, get some markers. Um, you don’t to spend a lot of money. You can spend $2 at the, at the Dollar store. You know, find something that brings you joy this year and, and it sounds kind of crazy and woo woo, but. Even finding 30 minute pockets out of the day to just do something that brings you joy can completely change your day.

Again, I know that was like a long spiel and not how I normally start these, but I’m just feeling, I’m recording this before the new year, but I’m just feeling very hopeful and excited about the new year, and if I can spread a little encouragement to those out there that are struggling or just feel a little hopeless, I know there’s a lot of things that aren’t great in the world right now and.

What’s, you know, on our political climate and all that. Um, not to get into politics, but you know, there’s a lot that’s not great and there’s a lot of change I wish to see. Um, but I think if we can, you know, find joy in like little pockets of our day, I think it will make a difference. And then we can kind of reach out and fill other people’s cups too. Anyway, that was a long spiel. I’m sorry guys. I hope that was okay. Um, so I hope that. That helped someone out there.

Um, before I get to today’s episode, just for a little quick reminder to do my new year giveaway, um, I’m giving away four $50 Amazon gift cards. All you have to do is share a photo of yourself listening to the podcast, a screenshot of your phone listening, a screenshot of your review, and then tag me on social media tag hey christainnis and that’s it. So I will select four winners. The winners will be announced February 12th episode.

Wedding Dilemmas: Navigating Registry Drama & Friend Photographers

All right. Next up we are going to do wedding dilemmas. Um, you guys sent me these in. That was a weird way to say that. You guys sent me these in. Um, so let’s see what we got here.

Okay, this first one says, “my fiance’s aunt told me that our registry is rude because we included higher price items. She said, it makes us look greedy. I’m embarrassed, but also annoyed ’cause it’s a registry, not a demand list.“ Here’s the thing about registries that I find so interesting. People have so many opinions about them. Um, I remember talking to friends years before I was even engaged and. The, the thing they say to do is put anything and everything on there.

There are gonna be some people that can only afford or want to spend under 50 bucks. There are gonna be some people that have a higher price point and they want to buy something really nice for a couple hundred bucks. There’s no expectations. Um, I’ve never looked at someone’s registry and been offended by it because I’m like, I know either that’s outta my price range, or they’ll get that from their parents or.

I’d rather get them blank, you know? Um, so if she’s gonna, I think it’s kind of rude for her to tell you that your registry is rude. She doesn’t need to, you know, pay for that. I think it’s maybe her feeling a little offended, or, I don’t know, maybe her own, maybe she didn’t have a registry. So she just thinks in general they’re selfish.

Um. I also find it’s interesting, and this is like a hill I will die on. I think it’s interesting when people get so mad about like the honeymoon registry, because I’m like, whether I put plates or bedsheets or, um, a new, a new couch on my registry. That money or however you spend that money is coming to me.

So if I decide to return those sheets and I use those $50 towards dinner on my honeymoon, why does it matter? And if you, and I think I, it was Suzanne Lambert that was in the podcast that was like, and if you care about that person, it shouldn’t matter what they use the money for. People still get up in arms in it.

I posted a thing recently about honeymoons and someone was like, I’m not paying for someone’s honeymoon. And it’s like, you’re not paying for it. Like if it’s a honeymoon registry, it’s usually alongside of a wedding registry. So it’s not like you’re buying them a wedding gift and a honeymoon thing. It’s, you can pick and choose.

Um, like a lot of my friends already lived with their partners, had all the pots and pans and all that stuff. So they didn’t need extra pots and pans that they weren’t going to use. Right? So for those people I was like, oh, I would love to buy you dinner and drinks on the beach. I would love to buy you your plane ticket.

You know, whatever that was. Um, and that was kind of a, kind of a cool thing. Maybe it’s just ’cause it’s like a newer thing, but whatever. I wanna let your fiance’s aunt’s comments get to you. Just let him roll off. Be like, you know what, aunt Susie, thank you for your feedback. Um, you don’t need to get us anything. It’s not a big deal. We just kind of wanna put a couple different price ranges on there and if you wanna get us something you can, but no pressure.

Okay, next one. Oh gosh, “my friend offered to do our wedding photos as a gift. But her work is not good. I don’t know how to decline without hurting her feelings or ruining the friendship.”

I have talked about this so many times, and this is something I’m so passionate about. It doesn’t matter if her work is good or not, because either way, I wouldn’t mention that to her, her quality of work. Right. I would just say, especially if it’s gonna be someone you want there as a guest. Say thank you so much for offering.

I really, really appreciate it. However, I just want you there as a guest. I want you there fully immersed in the guest experience, hanging out with us on the dance floor, taking advantage of the open bar, um, being with us for photos, whatever that looks like. Instead of it, if she keeps pushing, just. You gotta repeat and just say, Hey, you know what?

We actually already found a photographer. If someone like that is already is offended that you found a different photographer, they’re not in it for the right reasons anyway, because they’re either looking for more business like they wanna be paid or they want other people to miss their business and that’s not really a good friend anyways.

So, um, just be clear and upfront. It doesn’t matter again if it works good or not. I personally think like a vendor like that. If they’re your friend, you want them there as a guest. Right. Obviously there’s some like vendors, like for instance, I had my sister-in-law make our cake. That’s something where like, she was still a bridesmaid.

So she was a bridesmaid. She could make the cake and she could put the cake, like she didn’t need to like be a part of the cake the whole time. You know what I mean? Like a DJ or a, um, a photographer, a videographer. Those kind of vendors, they need to be their job the whole night. So this friend, if she’s a photographer, she’s not gonna be able to actually hang out, enjoy the wedding.

So just really accentuate how much you want her there as a guest, and you want her to be in photos. You wanna hang out with her and just say, it’s just not possible to have her as a photographer. But thank you.

Would You Rather: Wedding Edition

Okay. All right, onto the next segment. Would you rather, here we go. These are completely random. I have not read any of these, so here we go. “Would you rather deal with a pushy mother-in-law or a bridesmaid who thinks she’s the bride?” Oh gosh. Um, I think I’m very lucky. I’m very lucky that I never had to deal with either of these. I’ve heard stories of. Nightmares on both sides. So I’m trying to think of like the worst scenario.

If I had to deal with either of these. Gosh, I think I’m gonna say a bridesmaid who thinks she’s the bride. I don’t know. I might go back on that just because like at the end of the day. Something’s not working with a bridesmaid, you can just like kick ’em out of the wedding, right?

A mother-in-law is still your fiance’s mom or your partner’s mom, right? So you can’t, you can kick them out of coming to the wedding, but there’s still that blood relationship. So if a bridesmaid is going to be terrible and do all those things, you can just be like, thanks, but no thanks. Mother-in-law has a little more, um, pull in the game, I guess.

“Would you rather have someone wear white to your wedding or someone give an unapproved speech?” Um, wear white. I’ve talked about this before. White does not bother me in the slightest. Yes, for like family photos, it’s nice to like stand out, but like everyone knows you’re the bride like. I don’t know. That does not bother me really.

Um, yeah, I don’t wanna Unapprove speech. Sorry. “Would you rather have a wedding crasher or a vendor who shows up an hour late?” Depends on who the wedding crasher is. If it’s like at the end of the night and we’re all just dancing, having fun and it’s like funny, like older ladies, I’d be like, yeah, come on in.

Sure. If it’s like an ex of someone, someone that we purposely didn’t invite because of like toxic behavior, I would not want that. Um, I’m so bad at these ’cause I like think about things like too, like analytically and like logically. Or a vendor who shows up an hour late, gosh, I’m gonna go with, ’cause I’m such a timely person, I’d be like stressed. I think I’m gonna go with a vendor that shows up an hour late. No, I’d be stressed. I wanna go with a wedding crusher. Yeah, let’s go with wedding crusher. Okay.

“Would you rather have a bridesmaid dropout last minute or add herself back in last minute?” How would she add herself back in? Uh, we don’t just add ourselves back in. Um. That sounds like something that’s really pushy. So I’m gonna go with a bridesmaid dropping out last minute. Honestly, I don’t see the big deal. Um, like, yeah, I’d be sad. Like if I’m thinking about my own wedding, if one of my friends did that, I’d be like, oh my gosh, why are you dropping out?

I’m so sad. But when I read stories about it, it’s not, it’s more of the like, emotional part of it that’s sad, right? If you like think about them on your day, that’s what’s sad. But if we’re just thinking about people. If one person can’t make it, all of a sudden the wedding’s still gonna go fine. Um, it’s still gonna flow, like you’re gonna get everything you need.

Um, so it’s more of the emotional aspect of it. So that would be really sad to deal with, especially if it’s a close friend. But, um, if it was for a right reason, I would go with that. Dunno what that means, add herself back in last minute. Just like show like she drops out. Then is like, surprise. I’m actually still here. Then that’s it. Sounds more like an issue.

All right. “Would you rather your maid of honor forget the rings or forget the speech?” Oh, I think I would say forget the rings, because while the rings are more meaningful, I think in the whole thing, you can forget something like. The day of, right. Um, and it would hopefully just be for the ceremony so someone could like, maybe bring them, but if, if someone’s forgetting a speech, that means they completely forgot the whole time to even write one or do one or spend any time on it. And that shows me that more so that they just don’t care. Yeah.

Okay. “Would you rather spend extra on the venue or extra on the photographer?” Um, photographer. Okay. Um, you, you cannot beat a good photographer. Um, obviously, like all in all, I think our venue costs a little more, but like we had, I don’t know if I’ve talked about this before, but we got married in an old mattress factory and it was just completely like, um, rustic is the wrong word. It was not rustic. I can’t even think of what it’s called, but it was just such a cool vibe.

And I didn’t need like a really fancy venue. I was, that was not like number one on my list. I just want good photos. And if you could have good, a good photographer, you can get good photos like almost anywhere. And that’s what I wanted. I just wanted a good vibe. Good photos. Yeah.

“Would you rather cut your guest list by 20 people or cut your decor budget in half?” Decor budget in half. I’m all about the people. I did have like, I don’t know, I guess you’d call it medium sized wedding. I think I had 140 people, which years ago. I was like, oh, I’ll have like 250 people. And then the older you get just more people like dwindle away. Right. But when it came time for planning the wedding, if that were, if that’s what I was assigned between, I would cut decor budget, because at the end of the day, if you’re in a cool place.

You don’t need a ton. We, the place we got married, like down the street, had a lot of stuff you could rent, so we rented some stuff from there. They also had candles that we could rent from them. And then I made a lot of stuff, so I didn’t really spend a lot on, on decor anyways. I even re, I even used my friend made handmade bouquets with fake flowers and she let us use all those. So I spent like nothing on decor.

“Would you rather splurge on the honeymoon or splurge on the dress?” Honeymoon all the way. I talked about this before too. My dress was under $1,500. I think it was, I think, wanna say it was like 1200. I didn’t even look at the price tag. So I went because it was like a direct kind of bridal shop.

And plus, because my venue was connected to it, um, I got like an extra 20% off discount or something. Um. And don’t get me wrong, I love the dress, but I was not a bride that went to like five bridal shops to find the dress. I went to one bridal shop. I tried on five or six dresses, and I knew that first day. I was like, this is my favorite. Let’s go with it. I don’t need to try on a million things. I just kind of was like this, this is good. This is good. Um, yeah. For me, I would rather splurge on a honeymoon. My honeymoon was definitely more than the dress.

“Would you rather DIY all decor or have zero decor at all?”

I personally would rather DIY. Like I said, I did a lot of my own wedding. All the signs, um, all the, my friend did the, the bouquets, all the decor. I kind of thought of myself and I’ve been a part of a lot of DIY weddings. You need a little something. I’ve seen them go overboard, so it’s not necessarily go to go crazy, but, um, yeah, I would do DIY.

All right, last one. “Would you rather a surprise, honeymoon plan by your partner or plan every detail yourself?” You guys know me? I’m a planner. I am okay with surprises, but it makes me feel itchy, like I need to like. I need to get in there. I need know what’s going, need to know what’s going on. Um, so I would rather plan all the details myself.

Luckily for us though, like we planned it together, I used sandals. Um, again, this is not sponsored, this is just, they were the most budget friendly. We were gonna, we were looked at Hawaii and it was so expensive. Sandals at least like we were able to like. Pick the location. We looked at all the different ones to see like what was most affordable.

And it was nice. It was all inclusive, so with the price you paid include all the food. All the drinks, and I think we even were able to include flights in all that. So that was really nice to be able to do that. And then, um, we could plan stuff when we got there. So we didn’t have like a strict itinerary, but when we got there, we could pick extra excursions and I would do it a hundred times over.

The Seven-Day Wedding Disaster

It was so much fun. Okay, now to the real, real story here. This week’s story submission, “I was a bridesmaid in a wedding that came together in just one week. The couple had originally had planned a private ceremony, and when some people found out, they created so much drama that the couple felt pressured to plan a full wedding in seven days.”

No, that is like ultimate like people pleaser, like, okay, we’ll just do it in seven days. Like I was a part of a DIY wedding where they, they had a three month engagement and I thought that was like really hard to do. Like it was fast and seven days. I’m like, what did you do in those seven days? ’cause that’s a lot.

“They also had to change venues because one church refused to host due to the drama. So we had an all intensity of a year long engagement squeezed into a single week. And because of the chaos, the wedding party changed several times before the big day.” How long is this week? This seems like an impossibly long week.

“The maid of honor, let’s call her, Emily, had been the bride’s best friend since fifth grade. But she had always been jealous of the bride’s relationship for years. She tried to sabotage them, creating tension, trying to break them up, and constantly forcing the bride to choose, choose between her and the groom.”

So why are we making her the maid of honor? When I see like Frida, all these friendships, I’m like, why? Why? Unless like from this bridesmaid perspective, she could always see it and then the bride was just kind of blind to it, which, which happens of course.

Okay. “On the wedding day, Emily confronted the bridesmaids, including me, and called us all fake friends while we were trying to get hair and makeup done.” What? Okay, so this is the maid of honor. “She was furious because she learned that I confided some of her private struggles, including her addiction issues and another crush she had to the bride.”

Whoa. “I only did this because I cared about her and believed she needed help. I had suffered a stroke the month before and couldn’t do much myself, so I turned to the bride hoping we could figure out how to support her.”

Okay, so here’s where I’m gonna disagree. I mean, of course, I don’t know how severe or what’s going on with this person’s addiction. I’m not a therapist or an addictions counselor. So this is just my own perspective as I’m learning this story right now. Little, um, disclaimer, but my number, one of the number one things I say is do not, I don’t wanna say bother, but do not get the bride involved in drama right before her wedding and not saying like someone’s issue, someone’s addiction issues is drama necessarily. But if that person confided in you and is telling you something, the best time to tell the bride is probably not right before her wedding es even, like especially knowing that it’s already like there’s already drama happening around this wedding. There’s already like a lot of stress. It’s happening in a week. Again, how long is this week? There’s a lot happening right? I would be waiting until after the wedding and be like, ‘Hey, by the way, blank came to me, or I guess we know her name’s Emily, or her changed name is Emily came to me and said, this is what’s going on. I’m very concerned of, uh, very concerned. The timing seems a little like sketchy to me, and I, I don’t wanna come on this, like, I don’t know. I don’t wanna be. Put down this person that sent in the story. But the timing seems a little weird, especially if, you know, things are already kind of like iffy. This could set someone off like this.

“The other bridesmaid knew none of this, and I wasn’t about to share Emily’s personal business in front of everyone we genuinely cared for.” And I, I do believe you cared for her. I do believe this person cared for her, but however, but it’s just the timing thing. Like we need to make sure, like the bride’s not brought into like crazy drama, right?

Right before right. “Emily then took off with two bridesmaids and disappeared for hours. They did the bare minimum for the wedding and then left to eat out, never bringing back anything for the bride who hadn’t eaten and was stuck doing tests emily should have been doing. Whatever Emily told the other bridesmaids must have been bad because one of them, someone I had been close to, barely speaks to me to this day.

The other bridesmaid who left with her, stayed friends with us afterward, though, she told us that she caught Emily shoplifting items for the wedding and not small items, expensive ones. I later learned that the $2,000 veil Emily gave the bride was stolen.” That’s wild. Okay. “Even though Emily had access to plenty of money, a wealthy friend had loaned her cash for the wedding. She still shoplifted.” Well, I mean, if she’s going through a serious addiction, we don’t know. I mean.

I don’t know the whole story, so I don’t wanna judge this person. Again, I don’t have background in this, so this seems like a very serious matter. Um, I’m also like, why is this maid of honor? Why is it put on the maid of honor to buy all these things for the wedding? Um, why should it matter that a friend loaned her cash for the wedding if I was in a wedding? And I was told, okay, it’s in a week. You have to pay for all these things. Like, and if I couldn’t afford it, I would step down. Um, the fact that like a friend had to loan her all this money, that’s a, a little odd. Like going back to being at a seven day planning of this wedding, I would be like, okay, we’re gonna keep it really simple.

We’re not spending money on like pointless things. Not saying veil’s pointless, but like it sounds like they’re spending a lot of like money on stuff and like putting all these things together. Like keep it stupid simple. If you’re having a one week planning time.

“Emily heavily controlled what she thought everyone should wear throwing fits anytime She didn’t get her way and celebrating when she did, I found a $65 dress that was more appropriate for the church ceremony compared to the $200 one she demanded I wear.”

Why is the maid of Honor? Okay. Am I confused? No. The maid of honor is Emily. Why is the maid of honor controlling what dresses they wear? And also, again, they’re getting married in seven days. Why are we spending all this time finding this super expensive dress? Let’s just find one. Let’s just find one. All the girls can wear and be done with it. But again, this should be the bride controlling this.

“She was furious when I asked to return it. She pressured the bride into choosing a dress she never actually wanted.” Okay. At some point we have to take responsibilities for ourselves though, like, like how? How is this made of honor pressuring the bridesmaid, the bride, and the bridesmaids?

“She says not the bride, not the groom. The bride still says she wished she could redo her entire wedding because of how much Emily influenced and manipulated everything.” We need to get rid of this person. “The bride was an hour and a half late to her own wedding because she had to hammer tent stakes and do heavy setup work. Test the maid of honor, should have helped.” With this is again where, and I talked about this on my episode with Bethy. This is when like there’s an overlap of like paid work help in your wedding party. We cannot assume that just because someone’s in your wedding party that they are going to do all the work for setup.

You are then hiring your friends for unpaid labor. And some people like myself, I love doing that stuff. I love being involved. Like if I’m in your wedding, expect me to help you with something, I, I will do that. But it should not be an expectation. The expectation of a bridesmaid is that they get the dress that you want, they stand up by your side, and they’re there at the wedding day.

Like honest to God. That should be the minimum, like that should be their expectation. The fact that you’re expecting your maid of honor to get your tent set up. You have to hammer in tent stakes and do the heavy setup? No, like can we get someone else? Do that. Where are the groomsmen? Let’s get the groomsmen in there.

“I tried to help after my stroke. I was extremely slow and weak. Emily also insisted the groom choose a best man she wasn’t close to because she had a crush on him and wanted to walk down the aisle with him. Shockingly, both men agreed.” Okay. How, how does this woman have such an impact on all these people to change their whole wedding? Who’s the best man? Who’s walking down with who, what dresses we’re wearing? Like at some point we need to say like, no. Or if you say like, yeah, fine, we’ll do it. Don’t know. I don’t know guys like I. We gotta take a little responsibility on both sides.

“Before the reception, Emily disappeared entirely. The bride and I panicked knowing her history of destructive behavior. Eventually we found Emily had gone to another gathering to see the guy she was crushing on.” I thought the guy she crushed on was a groomsman.

“She confronted him about his feelings and he wasn’t interested. To make things worse, the guy I had a crush on and usher also ended up at that gathering.” Where’s this other gathering? I thought they were all at a wedding together. “Emily spent time with him too, and this wasn’t the first time she had gone behind my back to flirt with him or hang out with him. She didn’t actually want him. She just liked the drama.” I don’t know. I think, I think you guys all liked the drama. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, but why lie? She told you like this in confidence and then you went and told the bride, I’m just confused by this little event.

“Before the wedding, Emily had lice and I caught it from her.” This is the longest week I’ve ever heard of. Why are all these things happening this week? “I managed to treat it before the wedding and showed up lice free only to discover afterward that I had caught it again. Emily hadn’t treated at all.” Guys, this is a mess. This is like why so is Emily girl had lice. They’re just like going around. Are you friends with Emily? Because I feel like the way you’re talking about her, she’s not your friend. Is she friends with the bride more? How’d you guys get lice if you’re not friends? Did this happen in the prior week to the wedding? I.

“Despite all this, the wedding day still turned out beautiful. It’s amazing what can be accomplished in a week with determination and love The bride and I became best friends afterward. She told me many times she wished she’d chosen me as her maid of honor instead. As for Emily, I hope one day she gets the help she clearly needs.”

Okay. I mean, I know I shared a lot of my thoughts, but I feel like this is. There’s a lot of things here. One is a communication error, like why is this Emily girl, the maid of honor, when she’s done all these horrible things apparently, and it seems like there’s a lot of bad talk about her behind her back. So there’s that one, two, I’m confused, like, okay, when you decide to have a quick engagement, you can’t just assume all these people are gonna do things for your day, right?

Like. Yes, if you have a crafty family, if you have people there, there that can help. But why is it again, the maid of honors duty to set up tents for you? That’s not her job. Get a bunch of the guys, get some extra, you know, hire some people to help set up. Um, but I don’t think she’s completely wrong for that.

Again, we are talking. You decided, not you, the bride decided. That they were gonna throw together a wedding in one week. Why should everyone stop everything they’re doing? They probably all have jobs. They probably all have families. Why should they have to stop everything they’re doing to put together your wedding?

That’s where I just don’t agree with it. Like, I’m like a very like do it yourself kind of person. Um. I could never imagine being like, okay, in one week from now I’m gonna do this thing and have all, all my friends are gonna help me. Um, this is my wedding day. You know, like it just seems very, like, that seems a little bridezilla to expect all your friends to just set up a wedding for you.

Um, the little drama here about like telling. The bride about her crush and her addiction again, did it need to happen before the wedding? I don’t think so. I think we need to keep the bride out of the wedding drama as much as possible if we’re really trying to stay focused on like making this day as beautiful as possible.

  1. Keep the bride outta the drama. Let’s get all hands together. Why am I not hearing about family members, the groom, groomsmen, anyone else helping? It seems like it. Emily is just to blame this Emily girl. She didn’t do this. She was supposed to do this. She didn’t do like, let’s slow down. We always knew.

She was jealous of the relationship, or that’s what we, that’s what she says. She was jealous of the relationship. Tried to sabotage them, create tension. Try get them to try to get them to break up. Forcing the bride to choose between him and her. So there’s already issues there. So now we’re gonna push her in and be like, Hey, you need to put together this wedding, not her problem.

This might be a hot take, but it’s not her problem. This should be the bride and groom putting everything together, and then if people offer to help and wanna come in, they can help. It is not the maid of honor, best man, groomsmen or, or bridesmaid’s responsibility to make this happen. If they want to, they can.

If they wanna ask, they can, but it’s, it’s not anyone’s responsibility. We’re talking seven days. God, like I said, I, I’ve been a part of like really quick engagements, really quick DIY weddings, and even then it took multiple weeks to get everything together. So I can only imagine the stress that this put on everyone.

And I feel like this was just kind of calling out like some toxic to toxicity between the friends, right? No one really seems innocent in this. I don’t know. You guys have to let me know what you think. Sometimes I get like, like I have to look at it from all sides, so I’m not trying to call it this person.

I just have to look for it from all sides. And I feel like this is very like putting Emily down. We know she’s got some issues. We know there’s some different things going on, so let’s not have. Put that huge level of responsibility on someone when we know they can’t hold up to it. Or like I said, if you’re like, I need this person as my maid of honor, we’re getting married in seven days.

Keep it stupid simple. We found a place, set up some chairs, have an arch, have someone read your vows, have a party, go to a bar. You can do things really simply. Um. And yeah, that’s, that’s what I think you guys tell me what you guys think about this. ’cause the idea that your wedding party is hired, labor is just, no, it’s just old news to me.

Again, there’s a lot of people out there that really do like doing that stuff, and I think that’s great. I enjoy doing it. But not everyone’s like that. Not everyone has the time. If you’ve got kids, a spouse, a job, a full-time job, like. You have to remember, that’s their priority. Your wedding day is not their priority.

So we need to give a little more grace and understanding for things like that.

Wedding Stress Confessions: DIY Disasters and Lessons Learned

Alright, that’s what we got today. All right, let’s end with some confessions here. I don’t know why I said here like that. All right. “I ended up looking like a zombie on my wedding day due to stress.” Uh, you know what? I think that’s one of those things.

I heard so many people talk about wedding stress before I got married and while I was, yeah, I was a little stressed here and there. I knew of people that like couldn’t eat towards the end that had lost so much weight because they were just like so stressed about getting things checked off. Um, that would be in tears multiple times because of different things and, and it’s hard.

There’s a lot of pressure. There’s a lot of external pressures, family pressures. Um, people that got married during COVID right, or were engaged during COVID, I heard of venues getting canceled. I heard of family members not being able to come in. Um, just different things like that, like stressors that you can’t plan for.

So it’s really important to just understand, and I’m not trying to belittle wedding days or anything ’cause they’re amazing. But remember, it’s just a day. As long as you have your close friends and family there, it’s gonna be beautiful. You gotta remember that it’s not gonna be a hundred percent perfect.

Um, and stress. Stress is like, stress can kill you, right? We all let stress get to us from depending on different things. We all stress about different things. Um. I’ve heard of brides being so stressed that their wedding day comes and they can’t even enjoy it. ’cause their body is just like so tense still from all the stress buildup.

Like I said, they, they don’t eat. They don’t sleep, and it’s just like their day’s there and then it’s over and they get like a wedding hangover, not like an alcohol hangover, a wedding hangover where they’re sad because the day came and went and they didn’t actually fully enjoy it. Or they had all these months of stress and planning and then it was just gone. Right. So it’s sad when that happens.

Um, okay. “Made my own centerpieces. Half of them fell apart when the guest touched ’em.” That’s hard with DIY stuff. It happens, but at the end of the day, as long as you get a couple photos of them, you just have to, it’s one of those things you have to let go.

“I let my sister be the dj. Our first dance had a short ad in the middle of the song.” What? Okay, I wanna know what platform puts ads in the middle of a song. Um, and that’s just. It’s the price you pay. I mean you, if it’s probably free. So that’s, that’s the gamble you take. You, you have someone that’s not a licensed business. Be a vendor you, you give and take. Right? I’m sure everyone was able to laugh it off.

All right. “Tried to sew my own veil and it ended up looking like a mosquito netting.” Yeah, know your talents. Know your strengths, know your weaknesses. Know where it’s better to pay someone to do it or ask for help. Alright, last one. “I DIYed my bouquet. It wilted before the ceremony even started.” I, yeah, again, it’s like you gotta know what, there’s certain things that you have to know, like.

What’s gonna work and what won’t. There’s certain things you gotta be willing to negotiate on. Like where, where are your strengths and where are we gonna be? Like, I’m gonna hire for that. Like I said, never thought I would have fake flowers, but my friends fake flowers at her wedding looked beautiful and she got married six months before me and she’s like, do you want these? And I was like, $4,000 or flowers from her. I’ll take those. So I did that.

Okay. That’s all I’ve got for this week. Thanks for joining me on. Here comes the drama. Um, lots of exciting things coming this year. So many exciting episodes coming up and things with the book. Um. I know I’m, I sound like a broken record, but here comes a drama affairs and Sloan story has been out since June and there’s been so many great reviews.

So if you guys had a chance to read the book. It would really help me out to, if you share it on social media, leave a review, share it with a friend, um, ask your library to order it, whatever that looks like for you. It just helps more people get their hands on the book. It’s just been so much fun to read and I still can’t believe.

I wrote a book, it’s Wild. Um, and I wrote book number two, um, more details on that. That’s been a lot of fun to write. Um, I will keep you guys posted on when that will become available. Manifesting some big things for this year and I hope you guys are as well. Again, don’t forget to enter the 2026. Episode 50 giveaway that I announced last week.

Um, just share something in your story on social media about the podcast. Gimme a screenshot of the podcast. It can be a screenshot of you listening. Tag me at @@heychristainnis, and we’ll select four winners, four $50 Amazon gift card. All right guys, that’s all I’ve got. Thanks for hanging out with me and I’ll see you next time.

Bye now.

by Christa Innis

The Mother of All Wedding Meltdowns: Stolen Funds, Sequin Gowns, & Shopping Disasters

Ever had your dream wedding hijacked by family drama?

In this episode, I’m re-sharing an episode previously released for Patreon only, where we dive into wild mothers of the bride and the chaos they can create. From stolen wedding funds and sequin gowns to rehearsal dinner meltdowns, I walk you through four jaw-dropping stories straight from the Vault. These are the moments that make you laugh, gasp, and maybe rethink your own wedding planning.

I also break down real-life etiquette fails, awkward tension, and lessons on setting boundaries—all while keeping the champagne flowing. Trust me, these moms are full of surprises.

Plus, I’m celebrating episode 50 with a giveaway: four $50 Amazon gift cards! Just share a screenshot or post about the podcast and tag me @HeyChristaInnis.

Grab a drink, tune in, and get ready for chaos, laughs, and jaw-dropping wedding drama!

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month! 

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

Get the book!

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

01:33 Hot Takes on Mothers of the Bride

04:08 Famous Mothers of the Bride in Pop Culture

08:18 Real-Life Mother of the Bride Stories

14:58 The Over-the-Top Wedding Attire

15:19 Family Drama Unfolds at the Reception

17:47 Awkward Vibes and Wedding Tensions

18:33 Personal Wedding Experiences and Reflections

19:40 The Rehearsal Dinner Dilemma

23:04 Mother-Daughter Conflict Over Wedding Plans

27:51 A Wedding Weekend Overshadowed by Drama

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • Stolen Wedding Funds – A mother takes thousands from the wedding fund, forcing the bride to DIY the night before.
  • Hard Liquor Threats – The groom’s mom and uncle threaten to skip the wedding over drink options, showing how minor disagreements escalate fast.
  • Bridesmaid & Groom Chaos – Drunk family members disrupt the reception, creating tension and awkwardness for everyone.
  • Sequin Overload – The mother-of-the-bride shows up in a floor-length sequin gown for a rustic barn wedding.
  • Rehearsal Dinner Meltdown – Miscommunication over invitations and payments spirals into public confrontations and tears.
  • Family Whisper Wars – Moms and aunts whisper, judge, and hold grudges, overshadowing the bride’s excitement.
  • Emotional Support Saves the Day – The mother-in-law steps in to comfort the bride during a meltdown.
  • Episode 50 Giveaway – Celebrate with me! Four $50 Amazon gift cards up for grabs—just share a screenshot or post about the podcast and tag me @HeyChristaInnis.
  • Half-Apologies & Lessons Learned – Despite chaos, boundaries and communication slowly restore some peace before the wedding.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  • “If you are paying for the wedding, it doesn’t mean you get to control everything—mutual respect goes a long way.” – Christa Innis
  • “Wearing white as the mother of the bride? Passive-aggressive flex. Just don’t.” – Christa Innis
  • “Let the bride and groom enjoy their day—don’t spill the drama before it even starts.” – Christa Innis
  • “Family whispers, unspoken grudges, and judgmental glares—this is why weddings need champagne.” – Christa Innis
  • “At the end of the day, it’s your choice. No right or wrong, just boundaries and keeping the peace.” – Christa Innis

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis:  Hi guys. Happy New Year and welcome to episode 50 of, Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis. Now, because it’s episode 50, I want to do a little giveaway. I thought it’d be a fun way to start the episode in a new year, so I’m gonna be giving away a. Four $50 Amazon gift cards. All you have to do is share a screenshot of you listening to the podcast, a photo of you listening to the podcast, and tag me mentioning the podcast in some way.

Share your review, anything to do with the podcast, share on social media. And then tag me at Hey Christa Innis, and I’ll be selecting four different winners to win $50 Amazon gift cards. I’ll announce the winners on February 12th. And that’s it. That’s all you have to do. Very simple. Literally just do a screenshot, share a photo, talking about you listening to the podcast.

Anything to help share it in one way or another will be really great. Um. Anything to share it on social media would be really awesome. And then we’ll just randomly select some winners. Just wanna give back to you guys. It’s just wild to think that we are almost at one full year of doing the podcast. And I know I can’t say it enough, but I’m just so grateful to everyone that’s listened, that’s shared, downloaded, left a review, whatever that looks like.

It just means the world to me. Um. And I’ve talked about it before, but when I set out to do this podcast, you know, gosh, it was November of 2023, right? Oh my gosh. I, I lose track of time so quickly. Um, November of 2024. What year are we in? We’re in 2025 right now when I’m recording. Yeah. Anyway, uh, when I set out to record it, I was like, you know what?

I think 20, I think we could do 25,000 downloads in a year, and now we’re at, you know, 225,000 something downloads, which is just wild to think. Um, I love being able to. Talk with you guys like on more topics, because I feel like the thing with social media is like, yes, I can show different sides of myself, but like obviously I’ve become known as like the skit girl.

I dunno if that makes sense. But like people know me as sharing these stories. They love the skits and there’s so much fun to do. But this gives me like a deeper side. Like I can have full conversations with people that come on, they can share their profession or what they’re interested in. And, um, we can just elaborate and talk a little bit more.

Um, so it’s fun to like be able to share that side. It’s also very scary. So that was the thing with doing this podcast is that I wasn’t sure how people would react to it if they would like it, because they’re used to me seeing skits or acting out skits. Um, but the thing is I was getting so many stories and this allows me to kind of.

Expand on thoughts or react to things and allow you guys to listen in another way too. Um, ’cause we can’t always, you know, watch skits all the time. I think it’s good to be driving and listen to a podcast or, um, working out, whatever that looks like for you. So I’m just so grateful for you guys listening to this episode and beyond and sharing.

Um. It’s kinda wild just thinking about it and what’s, what’s good to come. Um, I feel like 2026 is gonna be a really good year. Um, I’m not like a new Year’s resolutions person per se. Like I believe in setting goals and manifesting and having visions and creating vision boards, but I don’t think it has to be like.

New Year’s Day. I feel like a lot of people are like so caught up on New Year’s Day and like starting fresh and if that works for you, I feel like lean into that 100%. Um, but I, I really do, like I said, believe in manifesting and. That’s one of the things I did with this podcast. I was always like, this is what I want it to look like.

These are the goals. And of course, we’ve pivoted and changed along the way, but I’ll be creating a vision board for this year for sure if I haven’t already by the time you guys are listening. Um, and I encourage you guys to do the same, like no matter how big or how small, just keep dreaming, keep thinking of things you wanna do in your life.

Uh, personal goals you have, um, career goals, um, things you wanna do with your family, whatever that looks like. It’s so good to like write things down and just have a loose plan or just something you can look at and be like, yes, this is me, this is what I want. Um, so I really encourage that. Um, another thing that’s coming this year is obviously I’ve talked about finishing up book number two.

Um, I’m sharing a lot more of the writing process. Um, I’m trying to, anyway, with the second book and, you know. While I finished writing the story, there’s still all these like moving parts, right? There’s the editing part of it, proofreading, um, having my literary agent look at it. So, um, hopefully we’ll have some more dates soon and I can give you guys some more details on that.

Now that we’re on the subject of Ferris and Sloan, in case you miss. I started a little prequel of their story. This has been so fun for me to create. Um, people kept asking about season four, and I still have no intentions of doing season four. I’ve talked about this. I think it’s the most popular question I keep answering is because like.

It would just get really complicated if I were to keep doing season four with the books, because the books have kind of changed. So the prequel allows me to have that same creative, um, feel that I did in the first season of Ferris and Sloan because, um, I can just kind of do with it what I want. And it’s been really fun so far.

So if you haven’t checked that out yet, please go check it out. Like I said, it’s been so much fun to create and come back to these characters. Um, now for today’s episode, since I’ve been kind of taking a little time off around work. Around the holidays, and I kind of say that very loosely because, you know, I take a little time off, but I’m also still doing a lot of planning and stuff.

But, um, just like last week, I’m going to share a prerecorded episode, but this was previously shared also my Patreon. So if you weren’t Patreon or your Patreon and you listened to it a long time ago. It’s a good one. It’s a really good one you’re gonna really enjoy. This was called the Mother of all Wedding Meltdowns.

So in this episode, I read not one, not two, not three, but four different mother of the bride stories from the vault, and they’re kind of all over the place and they, they start a little bit shorter and then it gets to a, a couple long ones at the end there. So this one is pretty wild. Um, I hope you guys enjoy it and.

I’ve heard you guys loud and clear. You guys want more drama, more stories and get rid of all the extra stuff. One thing I will never get rid of though, is just my random banter because it’s just fun just to add some little commentary, however this episode, we’re gonna do things a little bit different. we’re gonna switch up the structure a little bit because it’s still kind of figuring out Patreon and what you guys want to hear, right? So we have not one, not two, not three, but four different stories from the vault. All about mothers of the bride.

I told you guys, each month we’re gonna focus on different, either people involved or different topics involved in weddings. We did bridesmaids, we did groomsmen. Not saying they won’t come back, but this month is all about mothers of the bride. And believe me, we get lots of stories, about the moms because they do really have such a vital role when it comes to weddings and I think it’s really important that, we all understand our role and we understand like how we can be helpful and not overstep. 

I always say this time and time again, I’m so lucky that my mom and mother-in-law were both so helpful and respectful. Like on the wedding day, not like taking anything away from me. They knew how important it was to me to be able to plan, but also I kept them very involved as much as they wanted to be. But we have a lot of stories. about mothers of the bride that did not really understand their role. People get pushed to the wayside. People get told how they’re gonna do things and it causes some chaos. So, like I said, we’re gonna do things a little bit different. We’re gonna just keep it fun today.

I mean, not saying it’s not usually fun, but we’re just gonna jump right into the drama. Let’s start with some hot takes. Okay. Here are some hot takes around mothers of the bride. First one says: 

Mother Of The Bride Myths, Power Plays & Pop Culture Chaos

If she’s paying, she’s planning. Okay, so this is interesting. I shouldn’t say I have mixed feelings about this because I’m pretty consistent with my feelings on this.

If you are paying for the wedding because you want to help as a gift you can help with as much as the bride and groom still want you to help with. It does not mean because you’re paying, you can take control. Now I think it’s all about mutual respect. If there’s a good relationship between the bride, the groom, and the parents.

Then I think absolutely let’s help each other out. You wanna take on this? I’ll take on this. Absolutely. Like, let’s do it. However, if it’s already kind of a rocky relationship and you’re doing it to hang something over their head, then yeah, let’s not do that. Because if you’re paying just so you can control things, then that altogether is not a great thing, but we hear about it all the time that, oh, well, she paid for it so she can change it, or she can do it this way. And I just don’t agree with that. But that’s a constant thing that we always see. Right.

Okay. Number two, wearing white is a passive aggressive flex. Yeah. I mean, again, it depends on the wedding. There are some weddings where they’re like, I don’t care. We’re white. It’s a garden wedding. Wear neutrals or whatever. however, unless specifically stated on the invitation or told to you by the brighter groom themselves, don’t wear white. I’ve heard a lot of stories where a mother of bride has walked in wearing white, and you can tell it’s just too upstage. So just putting that out there. 

Number three, she should walk in before the bridesmaids. Yes. I don’t know if I’ve been to a wedding where she walks in after the bridesmaids. That’s just kind of like how it typically goes. The first few people might change a little bit, but you typically have the groom. In a heterosexual wedding, you typically have the groom walkout first, whether it’s with his parents or by himself. Then you have his parents and then you have, depending if you want people to walk on the aisle, sometimes parents just walk out as part of the guest. but like in ours, we had my husband walk down with both of his parents, then my mom walked with my brother, and then, I think we did grandparents.

Then bridesmaids were before me. Bridesmaids and groommen were before me. Flower girl, ring bear, all that stuff. So yes, I think the parents should walk out before the bridesmaids because you want your family set first before like the wedding party starts basically. They wanna be able to see everything.

Okay, here we go. Famous mothers of the bride. Guess that mother of the bride. Here we go. So I’m gonna read a clue, I’m gonna pause so you guys can guess at home who you think it was. Okay. She tried to steal the spotlight by wearing a white dress to her daughter’s wedding then dance with her ex-husband on the beach in Greece. Who is that mother of the bride? That is Meryl Streep and Mama Mia. 

Okay. I have not seen that movie in a long time. It’s probably been since I was in college. but it’s a movie, so it’s entertainment. So don’t take any of this. It’s seriously, but there’s already a lot of problematic things with this.

The next one I’m gonna read. This high society mother of bride lied to her daughter about her father’s identity times three. Again, Amanda’s mom and mama Mia. So there’s already some problems, with that. She wasn’t completely honest with her daughter. So did she wear a white dress to upstate her daughter? I don’t know. Maybe she did. Who knows. 

Okay. Number three, she secretly planned her daughter’s entire wedding, didn’t tell her, and then expected her to go along with it, including picking the venue and the dress. Who was that mother of the bride? That is, it’s crazy ’cause you read some of these and you’re like, that would never happen.But I just, I just read a story very similar to this that just happened to someone that is Jane Fonda and Monster in-law. 

Okay. Number four. She crashed her ex’s new wedding just to stir the pot because no one upstages her in her own family. I’m not familiar with this one. That’s Lucille Bluth vibes. It says, in Arrested Development. 

Okay. There’s two more. This real life celebrity mother of the bride wore a sheer beaded gown to her daughter’s Italian wedding and somehow stole the spotlight. The clue is momager. Okay, that’s Kris Jenner at Courtney Kardashian’s wedding. I don’t follow the Kardashians very closely. I used to watch. What was their show like on Hulu? I’ve seen, I would watch that, but I didn’t grow up watching the Kardashians, so I think I missed the whole Courtney Kardashian wedding. Now I know one of the daughters had a wedding where they all wore white. And guys, if you were big Kardashian fans, you’re probably laughing at me ’cause you’re like, what are you talking about? I think they all just upstage each other. I think they’re all just really into fashion and. I don’t know. I think they all just are really into it and looking good, so I don’t, I doubt she did it to upstage her, but I could be wrong. 

Okay, last one here. She plays sweet and simple, but she’s the real mastermind behind the scenes. Calmly steering the chaos of a massive Greek family and reminding us that the woman may not be the head, but she’s definitely the neck. That is Maria Porticos in my Big Fat Greek wedding. I love that movie.

So let me tell you a little funny backstory. So I was in fifth grade, I think, when that movie came out. Not to age myself. I think I was in fifth grade, and my best friend and I at the time, we wanted to go to the movies to go see something, right? And it was one of those days, I think it was like either a spring break or summer, and we were just like old enough to go to the movies by ourselves. Like our parents would drop us off so we could go and, my friend Valerie, she was like, well this movie called My Big Fat Greek Wedding is playing. And I was like, I don’t even know what that is. Like, I never heard of it. And I told my mom, my mom was like, oh, I think it’s for adults. I don’t think you’re gonna like it. It might be just, Out of your realm of what you would find funny. And so we’re like, whatever, it’s the only movie available.

And so we went and we were cracking up. We thought it was so funny, the whole Windex thing. I mean, it’s one of those classics and I’ve since gone back and watched it. ’cause now I think they have two or three of ’em and it’s so good. I love the mom. Porta Collos. I just think she’s so wholesome and sweet.

Yes. Is there some of that, control? Of course. That’s more when they’re dating though. But you can tell she just like so cares for her daughter and she really adapts to everything and I think just, it’s such a good movie. So just a little side spiel. 

Mother Of The Bride Horror Vault

Okay. I better get into it guys, because we’ve got four stories from the vault.

The first. They get longer and longer as they go. The first couple are pretty short. The last one is The main one. Again, I’ve not read these. We kind of just searched for mother of the bride and we’re gonna see what happens and we’re gonna react in real time here. 

Okay? Number one, my mom stole several thousand dollars out of our wedding fund, so the night before I had to cook all the food and make the decor because it was the vendor’s money.

How does that work? Because typically vendors are gonna require deposit down and then still come. So why would then you have to make all the food? it says she bought pills with it. Oh gosh. Tried to sell them to the wedding guests while wearing a cocktail dress that she was falling out of. Oh my gosh.

She also kept all my memorabilia, so we literally had nothing from our wedding. When I asked her why she would do this, she shrugged and said, well, you’re getting married in my yard. Oh my gosh. So this is very like off the rails, but similar to I’m paying for it so I can do what I want.

She’s obviously not paying for it. I mean, I don’t know what parts she was kind of paying for, but providing the yard in her mind, she’s like, well. That means everything that’s on this yard belongs to me, I can control things still several thousands. I’m also wondering like, how did she get access to it? Was this a bank account? So many questions you guys. Oh my gosh. bad. That’s pretty bad.

Okay. Story number two, this happened at my fiance’s best friend’s wedding. First, his mom and uncle were very upset because the groom said there wasn’t going to be any hard liquor served at the reception only wine in a couple different kinds of beer.

Oh my gosh, you guys, if you watch my content, you’ve seen that one that I just, not that long ago. I think it was, Aaron. I think it was like all names from the office. It was like Aaron, Pam, gosh, I don’t even remember who else was in it. Jim. it was so similar. It was the sister like that didn’t wanna come because she was like, why are you not having any hard liquor? That is crazy. 

His mom and uncle actually threatened not to come, but then they decided to, they would just have some hard liquor before the wedding and showed up drunk. They also snuck hard liquor into the reception that they kept to themselves, and also one of the groomsmen was the groom’s girl best friend as the groom’s mom was leaving the reception.

Okay. Drunk as a skunk, she pulled the girl best friend aside and told her it should have been you. Oh no, just reading this, I’m realizing like, oh, this is like a girl’s mom, but whatever. 

There’s a lot to say here. There’s a lot to say here. I mean, first threatening to not come to the wedding. This is your son’s wedding, right? Yeah. The uncle and the mom are, threatening to not come because there’s no hard liquor. That’s a problem. That is a problem. If you’re gonna refuse to not go celebrate someone as close and important as your son, that’s a problem. Then she decides to get drunk in the parking lot or wherever before the wedding tells the best friend. Oh my gosh. Should have been you. The girl best friend, felt instantly awkward and talked to my fiance, who was the best man. Not sure if she should tell the groom or not. In the end, she decided it was the right thing. She had to tell him. Oh my gosh. See, I think you should avoid telling the bride and groom anything until after the wedding.

Let them live in their wedded bliss. Don’t keep telling about the drama. because there’s so many people that I’ve had stories send to me that there were like, our day was amazing. We had the best time. Later we found out, or someone told me this later, and I just think let’s do that.

Let’s let them keep the peace. And just live in their wedded bliss because I don’t know, it’ll distract them from their day if we’re just telling them like every little drama thing. Anyways, it says the groom got in a big fight with his mom and they ended up not speaking for something like three months.

Oh my gosh. That’s insane. Okay, next one. I’m breaking this one up so I don’t. Mess it up. Story number three. Trying to not lose my voice again, as of the date I’m recording this. I had just lost my voice and I’m starting to get it back again, but I’m realizing like I’m doing even more talking. This week I had three podcasts episodes to film and filming content, so I’m really trying to like. Make sure I’m drinking water, taking breaks and all that good stuff.

Anyways, okay, so my brother married this girl that literally my whole family hates. We all tried to talk him out of it because she and her family are nothing but drama. hard. And I know in her mind, and again, I’m not a part of it, I’m only reading a story here, but in her mind, she’s like helping him by saying that.

But there’s some things you just have to let them figure it out on their own, because if something were to happen, you don’t want him turning his back on his family being like, well, you guys did this, or You guys blamed them, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He needs to figure it out on his own, otherwise it’s gonna cause like a bigger rift between him and his family.

But he wanted to marry her. So my mom and aunt literally did everything for the wedding. Full on DIY, decor and favors and helped pay for the venue. I didn’t wanna be in the wedding unless I could stand on my brother’s side with our cousin and older brother. She told my brother I was being a selfish bitch a baby, and if I didn’t stand with her, I couldn’t be in the wedding at all.

Oh my gosh. It is hard. if you already don’t like the bride, then I get not wanting to be in the wedding. But you’ll also at the end of the day have to realize it’s the bride and grooms day. So if they want bridesmaids on their side and grooms went on the other, that’s their thing. I’ve seen more and more sides get mixed up with guys and girls or whatever, but at the end of the day, it’s their choice. I don’t know. That’s hard. That’s hard. 

She says, fine. Wedding day comes, and I was helping my mom literally set the whole thing up. We were at the venue all day. her family was getting their hair and makeup done, and they never even asked my mom if she wanted to come with them to get ready.

Her mom, this is the mother of the bride came to the venue, which was a barn since they did a fall country casual theme. She showed up in a full blown sequin floor length gown with fake eyelashes. Hey, I’m not knocking fake eyelashes though, because I had them at my wedding and I got married in a old Mattress factory. That’s a story for another time. I mean, it’s not really a story, it’s a cool, like rustic looking thing Anyways, and we all have fake eyelashes, but you can have ’em done different ways and hey, if that’s what you’re comfortable with, you do, you girl. But a full blown sequin, floor length gown is a little over the top for a barn.

That’s where you kinda wanna know the theme, But as a mother of the bride, you should maybe know it, but I dunno. It says the woman is 60. She said the decor that my mom and aunt made was tacky and looked cheap. 

Okay. No, that’s just downright rude When you didn’t help with anything. You cannot come in and tell them that it looks tacky and cheap. Like, come on. There are zero pictures of our parents with her parents during the reception. Her father sat outside the entire night and we honestly never saw him after the father-daughter dance. Her mom had invited her friends they stayed outside all night and her brother brought weed and was smoking it with the flower girls right there.

Oh my gosh. This is a mess. Okay. My dad was freaking out that we were gonna get kicked out of the venue. Meanwhile, the bride didn’t speak to anyone. Changed into a t-shirt and jeans was just on the phone, the entire reception. Why are they getting married? It sounds like they don’t wanna be getting married or like someone’s pressuring them.

But if like his family doesn’t like her, the families aren’t talking, the bride herself seems unhappy. Put on a t-shirt and jeans right after it was on the phone. Like, what’s happening here? The bride’s brother took off his shirt and was drunk running around trying to pick a fight with guests. Oh my gosh.

Oh, this is crazy. The owner of the venue told my dad to get him out of there, or he was going to call the police. Why is it up to the groom’s dad? That’s weird. My dad found the mother of the bride and asked her to remove her son. She told my dad that we were being judgemental her son was just having a good time.

No. Oh, this isn’t good. My cousin, who was a groomsman, ended up having to carry her brother out of the venue get someone to drive him home. The mother of the bride yelled at my cousin for touching her son and making him leave. That was our family being rude and the whole wedding was a disaster because of us.

That just shows you that. Whoever tells the story is gonna tell it from, you know, obviously their perspective. So this mother of the bride’s probably going around saying like, uh, the family that my daughter married into is horrible. They ruined their wedding. They were so judgmental. They took my son out.They grabbed him. all those things. When in reality, well, we weren’t there. So we don’t know what the real story is, but according to this sister of the groom, they were just pretty disruptive and rude and drunk. So that’s what I’m getting from all that. That’s crazy. That’s when like, I really can picture in my mind, like I picture them at this barn.

I picture them the brides in her little t-shirt and just like, don’t talk to me. It’s just awkward vibes. Have you guys ever been to a wedding where there’s just awkward vibes. Like either people just feel like they shouldn’t get married. There’s a lot of chitter chatter. There’s a lot of like tension because I definitely have, and you know, the second you walk in, people are not.

I don’t know. seems a little more tense. You can kind of feel it and like I’ve known to be like a little more like aware of these things. Like if I go somewhere, like I can tell like when there’s tension, some people don’t notice it, but like I’ve been to weddings where I’m just like, what’s the issue here? Or are they not supposed to be getting married? Who got in a fight with who? Like something’s off. I don’t know. 

Okay. And this last one, Ooh, I need more water. This one’s like a long one, so I need a voice break after this.

Alright, you guys need to share some more of like your wedding guest stories. I feel like I haven’t been to a wedding in so long. Like I said, I don’t know, I’ve said another podcast, but like my husband and I used to go to weddings all the time. We were in weddings all the time. And then, I don’t know if it was just perfect timing, but after having our daughter, it seemed like less and less people in our friend group were, getting married or they were already married.

We’ve gone to one since my daughter has been born and, she was only three months old at the time. And so, I feel like we’re in that lull where it’s like we probably won’t have a wedding to go to for a while, so it’s nice break, but I also like going to weddings a lot.

So, I’m gonna be a day of coordinator for a wedding this year, actually my birthday weekend. So that’ll be kind of fun. I’m excited. So that’ll probably be the next wedding I’ll go to, but I won’t be a guest. And then I was day of coordinator. Okay, now it’s all coming back to me. I was a day of coordinator last January for a wedding.

That was really fun. But I’m working, I’m running around for those. But any who? Story number four. This one’s gonna be good. All right. She says.

Dress Shopping Disaster & The Rehearsal Dinner Ultimatum

I’m getting married in late April of next year. Back in June, I set up two wedding dress appointments.

My sister who lives across the country, two of my bridal party, my soon-to-be mother-in-law and father-in-law, and my mom and aunt were all planning to come down and be there. For context. My mother had planned an engagement party for us when my sister visited with my niece for the first time last September.

It was more of a shared event so that my sister-in-laws who were also visiting could meet our family. My aunt from both sides were also there. We had to beg my family to take photos of my fiance and me at the event, but we laughed it off. We were still so grateful they planned something for us. I sent everyone handwritten thank you notes. afterwards. When I began wedding planning, my mom started acting oddly. She never really asked if I needed help, but instead consistently brought up things that she didn’t like about other weddings, including my sisters. 

This is what we call unhelpful advice. When all you say is things you don’t like and just start complaining about things, that’s not helpful because. That only teaches the bride to be critical of herself and question everything that she does because she’s like, oh, is mom gonna like it? Oh, she seems to like hate a lot of things, right? She sent me suggestions for things she wanted to see at our wedding. When it didn’t fit what we had wanted, I would politely decline, but always thank her for her input.

As we booked our venue in my fiance’s hometown, his mom kindly offered to plan the rehearsal dinner at a small historic inn in town. The Inn only seated 25 people max. We were grateful for her help and loved the venue, but after counting parents, stepparents our wedding party and their plus ones, which is traditional, we were already at capacity.

The only extended family invited was my fiance’s uncle, who is our officiant. A few weeks before everyone came down for dress fitting, I called a video chat with my mom sister to explain that we couldn’t invite any extended families to rehearsal dinner. My sister said it made sense. Traditionally only you invite extended family if there’s room after immediate family.

And the wedding party now, we’ll obviously continue. I have some different feelings about this. I am more someone you picture who you want at your rehearsal dinner first. Then you try to find well within your budget, right? Then you try to find a venue to support that. Because I’ve been to weddings and been a part of weddings where they’re like, well, we want this venue and we can only fit 20 people, so now we’re down to 20.

And then you have to make cuts of important people that you want there. And me, I look at it the other way. I’m like, people first. venue second, budget first, obviously you wanna think of your budget, but I would never personally, like if I have people flying in for the wedding, I would never leave ’em out of the, re rehearsal dinner.

That’s just me. I feel like you should invite everybody that’s flying in or like immediate family flying in or in your wedding party, but I know people have different opinions on that. Okay.

Then, she said her sister had a rehearsal dinner at a brewery that held 60 people, so she was able to include more. I explained to my mom that ours just couldn’t accommodate that and even sent her a wedding etiquette article to help. My mom didn’t have a traditional wedding and never planned one, so I thought it might help her understand.

My stepdad reassured me that she understood and she would explain it to my aunt and that it would be fine. Something tells me it won’t be fine. My mom had mentioned that she wanted to help with the wedding in some way since my mother-in-law had offered to help with my dress. I gave my mom the same opportunity.

I told her my budget and what the deposit would look like, both the minimum and the maximum. And also discussed having lunch with two of my bridal party members, which she offered to pay for. I even sent her the menu and after confirming everything was okay, I made the reservation. Well, somewhere between that call and everyone arriving for dress shopping, my mom and aunt had worked each other up.

They thought I was being rude to my aunt who helped pay for the engagement party, which I did send a thank you for, that I was being selfish asking my mom to pay for things. My sister knew they were upset, but they didn’t tell me until we picked her up for the airport. She did tell her friends and husband that she expected drama but hoped it wouldn’t happen. So they’re all talking about her behind her back saying like, this is nasty or this is bad. There’s gonna be drama, you know? Oh my gosh. 

We picked her up at four in that day and had a three hour round trip and no time off work. My fiance and I were exhausted. That same day my mom and aunt arrived at our home. They were apparently upset that I didn’t offer them coffee or food immediately, which my mom would bring up later. But again, my fiance was at work and I was running on fumes. The next day we went dress shopping and had lunch with two of my bridal party members and my mother-in-law.

There was an odd tension the whole time. One of my bridesmaid later told me she noticed my mom and aunt whispering about the rehearsal dinner during lunch. Oh gosh. At the end of the lunch, my mom didn’t offer to pay for the other women as discussed. They kindly paid for themselves without complaint.

She is some very good storyteller. She gives a lot of great details. We moved on to the dress shopping and found a beautiful gown that night we had dinner and dessert with everyone, family in-laws and friends. As I was helping serve coffee and cake for 10 people, my mom started yelling at me front of everyone to get her coffee without ever offering to help.

Oh my gosh. Out of nowhere. I asked her to please be patient. We were going as fast as we could. Why can’t she get it? But this was all happening in front of my friends and my fiance’s parents. It was so embarrassing. My mother-in-law who lives outta state and wasn’t aware of all the drama, took this as a moment to ask me a few rehearsal dinner questions and showed us some pictures she took of the inn. She was being helpful and including my mom and aunt in the conversation. Thankfully, my friends were in the other room because my mom started dramatically making faces and sat beside my aunt who responded. With only one word answers. The mood was awful. 

So they’re feeling some type of way and just being like cold and standoffish without actually like communicating, even though she’s trying to communicate to them, that just makes things like so much worse. 

The next morning at 7:00 AM I got a text from my mom saying she wanted to speak privately. We had a group breakfast planned with both sides of the family, and she showed up early to catch me. In front of the others, she told me that my aunt’s feelings were hurt, that she wasn’t invited, and that I should quote unquote, do the right thing by either adding her or disinviting my little friends. She put that in quotes too. That is insane. For the record, my wedding party and I are all in our thirties. She said I was being disrespectful and ungrateful. She claimed my mother-in-law clearly expected my aunt to be invited. She didn’t and brought up again how my aunt helped pay for the engagement party.

I get the hurt feelings and I get it’s uncomfortable and I get, she probably expected to be there. I don’t know how close she’s with her aunt, but dictating that you need to be there. Or saying like, I need to be invited. Do the right thing. That’s not a right or wrong thing. Like I said, we all have our opinions on how we personally would do it, but like I said, I’ve been to weddings where rehearsal dinner is very small and that’s it.

But every family’s also different, different, I personally, if I had an aunt flying in, I would have them be at the rehearsal dinner. I do that for my own wedding. So, I don’t know. I wouldn’t say it’s the right thing and, to uninvite little friends because obviously she wanted them there and they were part of the wedding party. Oh my gosh. 

She said I made her pay for my dress and the lunch that the restaurant was too expensive that I should serve people better when they come to my house. I was so hurt and overwhelmed. I walked out to the deck in tears. My fiance followed me and told me what she had said, or, and I told him what she had said.

He was stunned. He couldn’t believe how cruel and irrational she was being. My mom and aunt left after that with my sister. I stayed behind with my in-laws and my mother-in-law helped me while I sobbed. It was the first time I had ever cried in front of them, and I was beyond embarrassed about my family’s behavior.

To wrap it up, we went to one last dinner before my mom and aunt left town. My fiance paid for that too. My mom and I didn’t speak for a week until I called her and confronted everything. I gave her most of the money back for the dress and the lunch. She said there was fault on both sides that I hadn’t communicated well enough and told me I was in your corner until I read the article you sent. It said, anyone who pays for the engagement party should be invited over other guests. 

Oh my gosh. So even if the article did say that why is it the one thing she’s pulling? She’s literally saying, this is etiquette. Like this is all who I want to invite to the party. She held onto that. I’m glad they’re having like communication now, but it sounds like the mom just didn’t really wanna hear her, and I feel like once the aunt came in and realized she wasn’t invited, that’s when she’s like, no, no, no.

I need to be invited. This is not done. This was not right. She said, I reread the article a dozen times. It never said that I couldn’t find any etiquette source that did. The mom is literally trying to. I don’t know what the right word is. Coax her into thinking that that’s what it said, because that’s so specific too.

Anyone who pays for the engagement party should be invited over other guests. Like what? I doubt that’s a thing because that’s such a specific thing. that’s, I don’t believe it. she said, so am I crazy or did I make a terrible mistake while planning my first wedding? I mean, at the end of the day, it’s your choice what you wanna do.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong in it. Like I said, every bride’s gonna do it differently. It depends on your relationship with the person, the budget, location. you specifically only want that one location that has room for 25 and you’re like, this is what we’re doing, we added everyone up, that’s it.

Then that’s your choice. So you can’t really do anything right or wrong. again, if it were my wedding, I would do it a little bit differently. I would include the aunt, but I don’t know how big her family is. Maybe if you include that aunt. You also then have to include her husband and her kids and, their other cousins.

And their other aunts. I don’t know if it’s just one aunt. I’d be like, just include the aunt. The best I got from her was a half apology. She later told my sister she wouldn’t be planning anything else for me like the bridal shower. Luckily, some of my friends are stepping in, so I don’t miss out on the experience.

But honestly, that weekend, which was supposed to be joyful and focus on the wedding, was completely overshadowed. Oh my gosh. So that was, crazy. I feel like it was one of those where there’s a miscommunication, and people see how it should be their own way, they’re afraid to like.

speak up, but instead of just communicating, they’re gonna hold a grudge. So I think the aunt got her all upset about it And then they just, completely took it from her. Oh gosh.

All right guys. Well, that was a crazy episode. Thanks for hanging out with me but if you guys love this episode, do me a huge favor and tell a friend about it. Share it. because, you word of mouth is just the best way to get it out, and it’s just a fun new little segment we’re doing here.

 I’d love to hear from you if you guys, have an idea for an upcoming episode, a new theme, something you’ve seen in, the media. Let’s talk about it. thanks so much for hanging out with me.

Until next time, keep the drama fun and the champagne flowing. Bye guys.

by Christa Innis

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