Ever had your dream wedding hijacked by family drama?
In this episode, I’m re-sharing an episode previously released for Patreon only, where we dive into wild mothers of the bride and the chaos they can create. From stolen wedding funds and sequin gowns to rehearsal dinner meltdowns, I walk you through four jaw-dropping stories straight from the Vault. These are the moments that make you laugh, gasp, and maybe rethink your own wedding planning.
I also break down real-life etiquette fails, awkward tension, and lessons on setting boundaries—all while keeping the champagne flowing. Trust me, these moms are full of surprises.
Plus, I’m celebrating episode 50 with a giveaway: four $50 Amazon gift cards! Just share a screenshot or post about the podcast and tag me @HeyChristaInnis.
Grab a drink, tune in, and get ready for chaos, laughs, and jaw-dropping wedding drama!
Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month!
My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!
Episode Chapter Markers
00:00 Introduction
01:33 Hot Takes on Mothers of the Bride
04:08 Famous Mothers of the Bride in Pop Culture
08:18 Real-Life Mother of the Bride Stories
14:58 The Over-the-Top Wedding Attire
15:19 Family Drama Unfolds at the Reception
17:47 Awkward Vibes and Wedding Tensions
18:33 Personal Wedding Experiences and Reflections
19:40 The Rehearsal Dinner Dilemma
23:04 Mother-Daughter Conflict Over Wedding Plans
27:51 A Wedding Weekend Overshadowed by Drama
Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments
- Stolen Wedding Funds – A mother takes thousands from the wedding fund, forcing the bride to DIY the night before.
- Hard Liquor Threats – The groom’s mom and uncle threaten to skip the wedding over drink options, showing how minor disagreements escalate fast.
- Bridesmaid & Groom Chaos – Drunk family members disrupt the reception, creating tension and awkwardness for everyone.
- Sequin Overload – The mother-of-the-bride shows up in a floor-length sequin gown for a rustic barn wedding.
- Rehearsal Dinner Meltdown – Miscommunication over invitations and payments spirals into public confrontations and tears.
- Family Whisper Wars – Moms and aunts whisper, judge, and hold grudges, overshadowing the bride’s excitement.
- Emotional Support Saves the Day – The mother-in-law steps in to comfort the bride during a meltdown.
- Episode 50 Giveaway – Celebrate with me! Four $50 Amazon gift cards up for grabs—just share a screenshot or post about the podcast and tag me @HeyChristaInnis.
- Half-Apologies & Lessons Learned – Despite chaos, boundaries and communication slowly restore some peace before the wedding.
Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode
- “If you are paying for the wedding, it doesn’t mean you get to control everything—mutual respect goes a long way.” – Christa Innis
- “Wearing white as the mother of the bride? Passive-aggressive flex. Just don’t.” – Christa Innis
- “Let the bride and groom enjoy their day—don’t spill the drama before it even starts.” – Christa Innis
- “Family whispers, unspoken grudges, and judgmental glares—this is why weddings need champagne.” – Christa Innis
- “At the end of the day, it’s your choice. No right or wrong, just boundaries and keeping the peace.” – Christa Innis
*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.
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Blog Transcript:
Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Christa Innis: Hi guys. Happy New Year and welcome to episode 50 of, Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis. Now, because it’s episode 50, I want to do a little giveaway. I thought it’d be a fun way to start the episode in a new year, so I’m gonna be giving away a. Four $50 Amazon gift cards. All you have to do is share a screenshot of you listening to the podcast, a photo of you listening to the podcast, and tag me mentioning the podcast in some way.
Share your review, anything to do with the podcast, share on social media. And then tag me at Hey Christa Innis, and I’ll be selecting four different winners to win $50 Amazon gift cards. I’ll announce the winners on February 12th. And that’s it. That’s all you have to do. Very simple. Literally just do a screenshot, share a photo, talking about you listening to the podcast.
Anything to help share it in one way or another will be really great. Um. Anything to share it on social media would be really awesome. And then we’ll just randomly select some winners. Just wanna give back to you guys. It’s just wild to think that we are almost at one full year of doing the podcast. And I know I can’t say it enough, but I’m just so grateful to everyone that’s listened, that’s shared, downloaded, left a review, whatever that looks like.
It just means the world to me. Um. And I’ve talked about it before, but when I set out to do this podcast, you know, gosh, it was November of 2023, right? Oh my gosh. I, I lose track of time so quickly. Um, November of 2024. What year are we in? We’re in 2025 right now when I’m recording. Yeah. Anyway, uh, when I set out to record it, I was like, you know what?
I think 20, I think we could do 25,000 downloads in a year, and now we’re at, you know, 225,000 something downloads, which is just wild to think. Um, I love being able to. Talk with you guys like on more topics, because I feel like the thing with social media is like, yes, I can show different sides of myself, but like obviously I’ve become known as like the skit girl.
I dunno if that makes sense. But like people know me as sharing these stories. They love the skits and there’s so much fun to do. But this gives me like a deeper side. Like I can have full conversations with people that come on, they can share their profession or what they’re interested in. And, um, we can just elaborate and talk a little bit more.
Um, so it’s fun to like be able to share that side. It’s also very scary. So that was the thing with doing this podcast is that I wasn’t sure how people would react to it if they would like it, because they’re used to me seeing skits or acting out skits. Um, but the thing is I was getting so many stories and this allows me to kind of.
Expand on thoughts or react to things and allow you guys to listen in another way too. Um, ’cause we can’t always, you know, watch skits all the time. I think it’s good to be driving and listen to a podcast or, um, working out, whatever that looks like for you. So I’m just so grateful for you guys listening to this episode and beyond and sharing.
Um. It’s kinda wild just thinking about it and what’s, what’s good to come. Um, I feel like 2026 is gonna be a really good year. Um, I’m not like a new Year’s resolutions person per se. Like I believe in setting goals and manifesting and having visions and creating vision boards, but I don’t think it has to be like.
New Year’s Day. I feel like a lot of people are like so caught up on New Year’s Day and like starting fresh and if that works for you, I feel like lean into that 100%. Um, but I, I really do, like I said, believe in manifesting and. That’s one of the things I did with this podcast. I was always like, this is what I want it to look like.
These are the goals. And of course, we’ve pivoted and changed along the way, but I’ll be creating a vision board for this year for sure if I haven’t already by the time you guys are listening. Um, and I encourage you guys to do the same, like no matter how big or how small, just keep dreaming, keep thinking of things you wanna do in your life.
Uh, personal goals you have, um, career goals, um, things you wanna do with your family, whatever that looks like. It’s so good to like write things down and just have a loose plan or just something you can look at and be like, yes, this is me, this is what I want. Um, so I really encourage that. Um, another thing that’s coming this year is obviously I’ve talked about finishing up book number two.
Um, I’m sharing a lot more of the writing process. Um, I’m trying to, anyway, with the second book and, you know. While I finished writing the story, there’s still all these like moving parts, right? There’s the editing part of it, proofreading, um, having my literary agent look at it. So, um, hopefully we’ll have some more dates soon and I can give you guys some more details on that.
Now that we’re on the subject of Ferris and Sloan, in case you miss. I started a little prequel of their story. This has been so fun for me to create. Um, people kept asking about season four, and I still have no intentions of doing season four. I’ve talked about this. I think it’s the most popular question I keep answering is because like.
It would just get really complicated if I were to keep doing season four with the books, because the books have kind of changed. So the prequel allows me to have that same creative, um, feel that I did in the first season of Ferris and Sloan because, um, I can just kind of do with it what I want. And it’s been really fun so far.
So if you haven’t checked that out yet, please go check it out. Like I said, it’s been so much fun to create and come back to these characters. Um, now for today’s episode, since I’ve been kind of taking a little time off around work. Around the holidays, and I kind of say that very loosely because, you know, I take a little time off, but I’m also still doing a lot of planning and stuff.
But, um, just like last week, I’m going to share a prerecorded episode, but this was previously shared also my Patreon. So if you weren’t Patreon or your Patreon and you listened to it a long time ago. It’s a good one. It’s a really good one you’re gonna really enjoy. This was called the Mother of all Wedding Meltdowns.
So in this episode, I read not one, not two, not three, but four different mother of the bride stories from the vault, and they’re kind of all over the place and they, they start a little bit shorter and then it gets to a, a couple long ones at the end there. So this one is pretty wild. Um, I hope you guys enjoy it and.
I’ve heard you guys loud and clear. You guys want more drama, more stories and get rid of all the extra stuff. One thing I will never get rid of though, is just my random banter because it’s just fun just to add some little commentary, however this episode, we’re gonna do things a little bit different. we’re gonna switch up the structure a little bit because it’s still kind of figuring out Patreon and what you guys want to hear, right? So we have not one, not two, not three, but four different stories from the vault. All about mothers of the bride.
I told you guys, each month we’re gonna focus on different, either people involved or different topics involved in weddings. We did bridesmaids, we did groomsmen. Not saying they won’t come back, but this month is all about mothers of the bride. And believe me, we get lots of stories, about the moms because they do really have such a vital role when it comes to weddings and I think it’s really important that, we all understand our role and we understand like how we can be helpful and not overstep.
I always say this time and time again, I’m so lucky that my mom and mother-in-law were both so helpful and respectful. Like on the wedding day, not like taking anything away from me. They knew how important it was to me to be able to plan, but also I kept them very involved as much as they wanted to be. But we have a lot of stories. about mothers of the bride that did not really understand their role. People get pushed to the wayside. People get told how they’re gonna do things and it causes some chaos. So, like I said, we’re gonna do things a little bit different. We’re gonna just keep it fun today.
I mean, not saying it’s not usually fun, but we’re just gonna jump right into the drama. Let’s start with some hot takes. Okay. Here are some hot takes around mothers of the bride. First one says:
Mother Of The Bride Myths, Power Plays & Pop Culture Chaos
If she’s paying, she’s planning. Okay, so this is interesting. I shouldn’t say I have mixed feelings about this because I’m pretty consistent with my feelings on this.
If you are paying for the wedding because you want to help as a gift you can help with as much as the bride and groom still want you to help with. It does not mean because you’re paying, you can take control. Now I think it’s all about mutual respect. If there’s a good relationship between the bride, the groom, and the parents.
Then I think absolutely let’s help each other out. You wanna take on this? I’ll take on this. Absolutely. Like, let’s do it. However, if it’s already kind of a rocky relationship and you’re doing it to hang something over their head, then yeah, let’s not do that. Because if you’re paying just so you can control things, then that altogether is not a great thing, but we hear about it all the time that, oh, well, she paid for it so she can change it, or she can do it this way. And I just don’t agree with that. But that’s a constant thing that we always see. Right.
Okay. Number two, wearing white is a passive aggressive flex. Yeah. I mean, again, it depends on the wedding. There are some weddings where they’re like, I don’t care. We’re white. It’s a garden wedding. Wear neutrals or whatever. however, unless specifically stated on the invitation or told to you by the brighter groom themselves, don’t wear white. I’ve heard a lot of stories where a mother of bride has walked in wearing white, and you can tell it’s just too upstage. So just putting that out there.
Number three, she should walk in before the bridesmaids. Yes. I don’t know if I’ve been to a wedding where she walks in after the bridesmaids. That’s just kind of like how it typically goes. The first few people might change a little bit, but you typically have the groom. In a heterosexual wedding, you typically have the groom walkout first, whether it’s with his parents or by himself. Then you have his parents and then you have, depending if you want people to walk on the aisle, sometimes parents just walk out as part of the guest. but like in ours, we had my husband walk down with both of his parents, then my mom walked with my brother, and then, I think we did grandparents.
Then bridesmaids were before me. Bridesmaids and groommen were before me. Flower girl, ring bear, all that stuff. So yes, I think the parents should walk out before the bridesmaids because you want your family set first before like the wedding party starts basically. They wanna be able to see everything.
Okay, here we go. Famous mothers of the bride. Guess that mother of the bride. Here we go. So I’m gonna read a clue, I’m gonna pause so you guys can guess at home who you think it was. Okay. She tried to steal the spotlight by wearing a white dress to her daughter’s wedding then dance with her ex-husband on the beach in Greece. Who is that mother of the bride? That is Meryl Streep and Mama Mia.
Okay. I have not seen that movie in a long time. It’s probably been since I was in college. but it’s a movie, so it’s entertainment. So don’t take any of this. It’s seriously, but there’s already a lot of problematic things with this.
The next one I’m gonna read. This high society mother of bride lied to her daughter about her father’s identity times three. Again, Amanda’s mom and mama Mia. So there’s already some problems, with that. She wasn’t completely honest with her daughter. So did she wear a white dress to upstate her daughter? I don’t know. Maybe she did. Who knows.
Okay. Number three, she secretly planned her daughter’s entire wedding, didn’t tell her, and then expected her to go along with it, including picking the venue and the dress. Who was that mother of the bride? That is, it’s crazy ’cause you read some of these and you’re like, that would never happen.But I just, I just read a story very similar to this that just happened to someone that is Jane Fonda and Monster in-law.
Okay. Number four. She crashed her ex’s new wedding just to stir the pot because no one upstages her in her own family. I’m not familiar with this one. That’s Lucille Bluth vibes. It says, in Arrested Development.
Okay. There’s two more. This real life celebrity mother of the bride wore a sheer beaded gown to her daughter’s Italian wedding and somehow stole the spotlight. The clue is momager. Okay, that’s Kris Jenner at Courtney Kardashian’s wedding. I don’t follow the Kardashians very closely. I used to watch. What was their show like on Hulu? I’ve seen, I would watch that, but I didn’t grow up watching the Kardashians, so I think I missed the whole Courtney Kardashian wedding. Now I know one of the daughters had a wedding where they all wore white. And guys, if you were big Kardashian fans, you’re probably laughing at me ’cause you’re like, what are you talking about? I think they all just upstage each other. I think they’re all just really into fashion and. I don’t know. I think they all just are really into it and looking good, so I don’t, I doubt she did it to upstage her, but I could be wrong.
Okay, last one here. She plays sweet and simple, but she’s the real mastermind behind the scenes. Calmly steering the chaos of a massive Greek family and reminding us that the woman may not be the head, but she’s definitely the neck. That is Maria Porticos in my Big Fat Greek wedding. I love that movie.
So let me tell you a little funny backstory. So I was in fifth grade, I think, when that movie came out. Not to age myself. I think I was in fifth grade, and my best friend and I at the time, we wanted to go to the movies to go see something, right? And it was one of those days, I think it was like either a spring break or summer, and we were just like old enough to go to the movies by ourselves. Like our parents would drop us off so we could go and, my friend Valerie, she was like, well this movie called My Big Fat Greek Wedding is playing. And I was like, I don’t even know what that is. Like, I never heard of it. And I told my mom, my mom was like, oh, I think it’s for adults. I don’t think you’re gonna like it. It might be just, Out of your realm of what you would find funny. And so we’re like, whatever, it’s the only movie available.
And so we went and we were cracking up. We thought it was so funny, the whole Windex thing. I mean, it’s one of those classics and I’ve since gone back and watched it. ’cause now I think they have two or three of ’em and it’s so good. I love the mom. Porta Collos. I just think she’s so wholesome and sweet.
Yes. Is there some of that, control? Of course. That’s more when they’re dating though. But you can tell she just like so cares for her daughter and she really adapts to everything and I think just, it’s such a good movie. So just a little side spiel.
Mother Of The Bride Horror Vault
Okay. I better get into it guys, because we’ve got four stories from the vault.
The first. They get longer and longer as they go. The first couple are pretty short. The last one is The main one. Again, I’ve not read these. We kind of just searched for mother of the bride and we’re gonna see what happens and we’re gonna react in real time here.
Okay? Number one, my mom stole several thousand dollars out of our wedding fund, so the night before I had to cook all the food and make the decor because it was the vendor’s money.
How does that work? Because typically vendors are gonna require deposit down and then still come. So why would then you have to make all the food? it says she bought pills with it. Oh gosh. Tried to sell them to the wedding guests while wearing a cocktail dress that she was falling out of. Oh my gosh.
She also kept all my memorabilia, so we literally had nothing from our wedding. When I asked her why she would do this, she shrugged and said, well, you’re getting married in my yard. Oh my gosh. So this is very like off the rails, but similar to I’m paying for it so I can do what I want.
She’s obviously not paying for it. I mean, I don’t know what parts she was kind of paying for, but providing the yard in her mind, she’s like, well. That means everything that’s on this yard belongs to me, I can control things still several thousands. I’m also wondering like, how did she get access to it? Was this a bank account? So many questions you guys. Oh my gosh. bad. That’s pretty bad.
Okay. Story number two, this happened at my fiance’s best friend’s wedding. First, his mom and uncle were very upset because the groom said there wasn’t going to be any hard liquor served at the reception only wine in a couple different kinds of beer.
Oh my gosh, you guys, if you watch my content, you’ve seen that one that I just, not that long ago. I think it was, Aaron. I think it was like all names from the office. It was like Aaron, Pam, gosh, I don’t even remember who else was in it. Jim. it was so similar. It was the sister like that didn’t wanna come because she was like, why are you not having any hard liquor? That is crazy.
His mom and uncle actually threatened not to come, but then they decided to, they would just have some hard liquor before the wedding and showed up drunk. They also snuck hard liquor into the reception that they kept to themselves, and also one of the groomsmen was the groom’s girl best friend as the groom’s mom was leaving the reception.
Okay. Drunk as a skunk, she pulled the girl best friend aside and told her it should have been you. Oh no, just reading this, I’m realizing like, oh, this is like a girl’s mom, but whatever.
There’s a lot to say here. There’s a lot to say here. I mean, first threatening to not come to the wedding. This is your son’s wedding, right? Yeah. The uncle and the mom are, threatening to not come because there’s no hard liquor. That’s a problem. That is a problem. If you’re gonna refuse to not go celebrate someone as close and important as your son, that’s a problem. Then she decides to get drunk in the parking lot or wherever before the wedding tells the best friend. Oh my gosh. Should have been you. The girl best friend, felt instantly awkward and talked to my fiance, who was the best man. Not sure if she should tell the groom or not. In the end, she decided it was the right thing. She had to tell him. Oh my gosh. See, I think you should avoid telling the bride and groom anything until after the wedding.
Let them live in their wedded bliss. Don’t keep telling about the drama. because there’s so many people that I’ve had stories send to me that there were like, our day was amazing. We had the best time. Later we found out, or someone told me this later, and I just think let’s do that.
Let’s let them keep the peace. And just live in their wedded bliss because I don’t know, it’ll distract them from their day if we’re just telling them like every little drama thing. Anyways, it says the groom got in a big fight with his mom and they ended up not speaking for something like three months.
Oh my gosh. That’s insane. Okay, next one. I’m breaking this one up so I don’t. Mess it up. Story number three. Trying to not lose my voice again, as of the date I’m recording this. I had just lost my voice and I’m starting to get it back again, but I’m realizing like I’m doing even more talking. This week I had three podcasts episodes to film and filming content, so I’m really trying to like. Make sure I’m drinking water, taking breaks and all that good stuff.
Anyways, okay, so my brother married this girl that literally my whole family hates. We all tried to talk him out of it because she and her family are nothing but drama. hard. And I know in her mind, and again, I’m not a part of it, I’m only reading a story here, but in her mind, she’s like helping him by saying that.
But there’s some things you just have to let them figure it out on their own, because if something were to happen, you don’t want him turning his back on his family being like, well, you guys did this, or You guys blamed them, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He needs to figure it out on his own, otherwise it’s gonna cause like a bigger rift between him and his family.
But he wanted to marry her. So my mom and aunt literally did everything for the wedding. Full on DIY, decor and favors and helped pay for the venue. I didn’t wanna be in the wedding unless I could stand on my brother’s side with our cousin and older brother. She told my brother I was being a selfish bitch a baby, and if I didn’t stand with her, I couldn’t be in the wedding at all.
Oh my gosh. It is hard. if you already don’t like the bride, then I get not wanting to be in the wedding. But you’ll also at the end of the day have to realize it’s the bride and grooms day. So if they want bridesmaids on their side and grooms went on the other, that’s their thing. I’ve seen more and more sides get mixed up with guys and girls or whatever, but at the end of the day, it’s their choice. I don’t know. That’s hard. That’s hard.
She says, fine. Wedding day comes, and I was helping my mom literally set the whole thing up. We were at the venue all day. her family was getting their hair and makeup done, and they never even asked my mom if she wanted to come with them to get ready.
Her mom, this is the mother of the bride came to the venue, which was a barn since they did a fall country casual theme. She showed up in a full blown sequin floor length gown with fake eyelashes. Hey, I’m not knocking fake eyelashes though, because I had them at my wedding and I got married in a old Mattress factory. That’s a story for another time. I mean, it’s not really a story, it’s a cool, like rustic looking thing Anyways, and we all have fake eyelashes, but you can have ’em done different ways and hey, if that’s what you’re comfortable with, you do, you girl. But a full blown sequin, floor length gown is a little over the top for a barn.
That’s where you kinda wanna know the theme, But as a mother of the bride, you should maybe know it, but I dunno. It says the woman is 60. She said the decor that my mom and aunt made was tacky and looked cheap.
Okay. No, that’s just downright rude When you didn’t help with anything. You cannot come in and tell them that it looks tacky and cheap. Like, come on. There are zero pictures of our parents with her parents during the reception. Her father sat outside the entire night and we honestly never saw him after the father-daughter dance. Her mom had invited her friends they stayed outside all night and her brother brought weed and was smoking it with the flower girls right there.
Oh my gosh. This is a mess. Okay. My dad was freaking out that we were gonna get kicked out of the venue. Meanwhile, the bride didn’t speak to anyone. Changed into a t-shirt and jeans was just on the phone, the entire reception. Why are they getting married? It sounds like they don’t wanna be getting married or like someone’s pressuring them.
But if like his family doesn’t like her, the families aren’t talking, the bride herself seems unhappy. Put on a t-shirt and jeans right after it was on the phone. Like, what’s happening here? The bride’s brother took off his shirt and was drunk running around trying to pick a fight with guests. Oh my gosh.
Oh, this is crazy. The owner of the venue told my dad to get him out of there, or he was going to call the police. Why is it up to the groom’s dad? That’s weird. My dad found the mother of the bride and asked her to remove her son. She told my dad that we were being judgemental her son was just having a good time.
No. Oh, this isn’t good. My cousin, who was a groomsman, ended up having to carry her brother out of the venue get someone to drive him home. The mother of the bride yelled at my cousin for touching her son and making him leave. That was our family being rude and the whole wedding was a disaster because of us.
That just shows you that. Whoever tells the story is gonna tell it from, you know, obviously their perspective. So this mother of the bride’s probably going around saying like, uh, the family that my daughter married into is horrible. They ruined their wedding. They were so judgmental. They took my son out.They grabbed him. all those things. When in reality, well, we weren’t there. So we don’t know what the real story is, but according to this sister of the groom, they were just pretty disruptive and rude and drunk. So that’s what I’m getting from all that. That’s crazy. That’s when like, I really can picture in my mind, like I picture them at this barn.
I picture them the brides in her little t-shirt and just like, don’t talk to me. It’s just awkward vibes. Have you guys ever been to a wedding where there’s just awkward vibes. Like either people just feel like they shouldn’t get married. There’s a lot of chitter chatter. There’s a lot of like tension because I definitely have, and you know, the second you walk in, people are not.
I don’t know. seems a little more tense. You can kind of feel it and like I’ve known to be like a little more like aware of these things. Like if I go somewhere, like I can tell like when there’s tension, some people don’t notice it, but like I’ve been to weddings where I’m just like, what’s the issue here? Or are they not supposed to be getting married? Who got in a fight with who? Like something’s off. I don’t know.
Okay. And this last one, Ooh, I need more water. This one’s like a long one, so I need a voice break after this.
Alright, you guys need to share some more of like your wedding guest stories. I feel like I haven’t been to a wedding in so long. Like I said, I don’t know, I’ve said another podcast, but like my husband and I used to go to weddings all the time. We were in weddings all the time. And then, I don’t know if it was just perfect timing, but after having our daughter, it seemed like less and less people in our friend group were, getting married or they were already married.
We’ve gone to one since my daughter has been born and, she was only three months old at the time. And so, I feel like we’re in that lull where it’s like we probably won’t have a wedding to go to for a while, so it’s nice break, but I also like going to weddings a lot.
So, I’m gonna be a day of coordinator for a wedding this year, actually my birthday weekend. So that’ll be kind of fun. I’m excited. So that’ll probably be the next wedding I’ll go to, but I won’t be a guest. And then I was day of coordinator. Okay, now it’s all coming back to me. I was a day of coordinator last January for a wedding.
That was really fun. But I’m working, I’m running around for those. But any who? Story number four. This one’s gonna be good. All right. She says.
Dress Shopping Disaster & The Rehearsal Dinner Ultimatum
I’m getting married in late April of next year. Back in June, I set up two wedding dress appointments.
My sister who lives across the country, two of my bridal party, my soon-to-be mother-in-law and father-in-law, and my mom and aunt were all planning to come down and be there. For context. My mother had planned an engagement party for us when my sister visited with my niece for the first time last September.
It was more of a shared event so that my sister-in-laws who were also visiting could meet our family. My aunt from both sides were also there. We had to beg my family to take photos of my fiance and me at the event, but we laughed it off. We were still so grateful they planned something for us. I sent everyone handwritten thank you notes. afterwards. When I began wedding planning, my mom started acting oddly. She never really asked if I needed help, but instead consistently brought up things that she didn’t like about other weddings, including my sisters.
This is what we call unhelpful advice. When all you say is things you don’t like and just start complaining about things, that’s not helpful because. That only teaches the bride to be critical of herself and question everything that she does because she’s like, oh, is mom gonna like it? Oh, she seems to like hate a lot of things, right? She sent me suggestions for things she wanted to see at our wedding. When it didn’t fit what we had wanted, I would politely decline, but always thank her for her input.
As we booked our venue in my fiance’s hometown, his mom kindly offered to plan the rehearsal dinner at a small historic inn in town. The Inn only seated 25 people max. We were grateful for her help and loved the venue, but after counting parents, stepparents our wedding party and their plus ones, which is traditional, we were already at capacity.
The only extended family invited was my fiance’s uncle, who is our officiant. A few weeks before everyone came down for dress fitting, I called a video chat with my mom sister to explain that we couldn’t invite any extended families to rehearsal dinner. My sister said it made sense. Traditionally only you invite extended family if there’s room after immediate family.
And the wedding party now, we’ll obviously continue. I have some different feelings about this. I am more someone you picture who you want at your rehearsal dinner first. Then you try to find well within your budget, right? Then you try to find a venue to support that. Because I’ve been to weddings and been a part of weddings where they’re like, well, we want this venue and we can only fit 20 people, so now we’re down to 20.
And then you have to make cuts of important people that you want there. And me, I look at it the other way. I’m like, people first. venue second, budget first, obviously you wanna think of your budget, but I would never personally, like if I have people flying in for the wedding, I would never leave ’em out of the, re rehearsal dinner.
That’s just me. I feel like you should invite everybody that’s flying in or like immediate family flying in or in your wedding party, but I know people have different opinions on that. Okay.
Then, she said her sister had a rehearsal dinner at a brewery that held 60 people, so she was able to include more. I explained to my mom that ours just couldn’t accommodate that and even sent her a wedding etiquette article to help. My mom didn’t have a traditional wedding and never planned one, so I thought it might help her understand.
My stepdad reassured me that she understood and she would explain it to my aunt and that it would be fine. Something tells me it won’t be fine. My mom had mentioned that she wanted to help with the wedding in some way since my mother-in-law had offered to help with my dress. I gave my mom the same opportunity.
I told her my budget and what the deposit would look like, both the minimum and the maximum. And also discussed having lunch with two of my bridal party members, which she offered to pay for. I even sent her the menu and after confirming everything was okay, I made the reservation. Well, somewhere between that call and everyone arriving for dress shopping, my mom and aunt had worked each other up.
They thought I was being rude to my aunt who helped pay for the engagement party, which I did send a thank you for, that I was being selfish asking my mom to pay for things. My sister knew they were upset, but they didn’t tell me until we picked her up for the airport. She did tell her friends and husband that she expected drama but hoped it wouldn’t happen. So they’re all talking about her behind her back saying like, this is nasty or this is bad. There’s gonna be drama, you know? Oh my gosh.
We picked her up at four in that day and had a three hour round trip and no time off work. My fiance and I were exhausted. That same day my mom and aunt arrived at our home. They were apparently upset that I didn’t offer them coffee or food immediately, which my mom would bring up later. But again, my fiance was at work and I was running on fumes. The next day we went dress shopping and had lunch with two of my bridal party members and my mother-in-law.
There was an odd tension the whole time. One of my bridesmaid later told me she noticed my mom and aunt whispering about the rehearsal dinner during lunch. Oh gosh. At the end of the lunch, my mom didn’t offer to pay for the other women as discussed. They kindly paid for themselves without complaint.
She is some very good storyteller. She gives a lot of great details. We moved on to the dress shopping and found a beautiful gown that night we had dinner and dessert with everyone, family in-laws and friends. As I was helping serve coffee and cake for 10 people, my mom started yelling at me front of everyone to get her coffee without ever offering to help.
Oh my gosh. Out of nowhere. I asked her to please be patient. We were going as fast as we could. Why can’t she get it? But this was all happening in front of my friends and my fiance’s parents. It was so embarrassing. My mother-in-law who lives outta state and wasn’t aware of all the drama, took this as a moment to ask me a few rehearsal dinner questions and showed us some pictures she took of the inn. She was being helpful and including my mom and aunt in the conversation. Thankfully, my friends were in the other room because my mom started dramatically making faces and sat beside my aunt who responded. With only one word answers. The mood was awful.
So they’re feeling some type of way and just being like cold and standoffish without actually like communicating, even though she’s trying to communicate to them, that just makes things like so much worse.
The next morning at 7:00 AM I got a text from my mom saying she wanted to speak privately. We had a group breakfast planned with both sides of the family, and she showed up early to catch me. In front of the others, she told me that my aunt’s feelings were hurt, that she wasn’t invited, and that I should quote unquote, do the right thing by either adding her or disinviting my little friends. She put that in quotes too. That is insane. For the record, my wedding party and I are all in our thirties. She said I was being disrespectful and ungrateful. She claimed my mother-in-law clearly expected my aunt to be invited. She didn’t and brought up again how my aunt helped pay for the engagement party.
I get the hurt feelings and I get it’s uncomfortable and I get, she probably expected to be there. I don’t know how close she’s with her aunt, but dictating that you need to be there. Or saying like, I need to be invited. Do the right thing. That’s not a right or wrong thing. Like I said, we all have our opinions on how we personally would do it, but like I said, I’ve been to weddings where rehearsal dinner is very small and that’s it.
But every family’s also different, different, I personally, if I had an aunt flying in, I would have them be at the rehearsal dinner. I do that for my own wedding. So, I don’t know. I wouldn’t say it’s the right thing and, to uninvite little friends because obviously she wanted them there and they were part of the wedding party. Oh my gosh.
She said I made her pay for my dress and the lunch that the restaurant was too expensive that I should serve people better when they come to my house. I was so hurt and overwhelmed. I walked out to the deck in tears. My fiance followed me and told me what she had said, or, and I told him what she had said.
He was stunned. He couldn’t believe how cruel and irrational she was being. My mom and aunt left after that with my sister. I stayed behind with my in-laws and my mother-in-law helped me while I sobbed. It was the first time I had ever cried in front of them, and I was beyond embarrassed about my family’s behavior.
To wrap it up, we went to one last dinner before my mom and aunt left town. My fiance paid for that too. My mom and I didn’t speak for a week until I called her and confronted everything. I gave her most of the money back for the dress and the lunch. She said there was fault on both sides that I hadn’t communicated well enough and told me I was in your corner until I read the article you sent. It said, anyone who pays for the engagement party should be invited over other guests.
Oh my gosh. So even if the article did say that why is it the one thing she’s pulling? She’s literally saying, this is etiquette. Like this is all who I want to invite to the party. She held onto that. I’m glad they’re having like communication now, but it sounds like the mom just didn’t really wanna hear her, and I feel like once the aunt came in and realized she wasn’t invited, that’s when she’s like, no, no, no.
I need to be invited. This is not done. This was not right. She said, I reread the article a dozen times. It never said that I couldn’t find any etiquette source that did. The mom is literally trying to. I don’t know what the right word is. Coax her into thinking that that’s what it said, because that’s so specific too.
Anyone who pays for the engagement party should be invited over other guests. Like what? I doubt that’s a thing because that’s such a specific thing. that’s, I don’t believe it. she said, so am I crazy or did I make a terrible mistake while planning my first wedding? I mean, at the end of the day, it’s your choice what you wanna do.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong in it. Like I said, every bride’s gonna do it differently. It depends on your relationship with the person, the budget, location. you specifically only want that one location that has room for 25 and you’re like, this is what we’re doing, we added everyone up, that’s it.
Then that’s your choice. So you can’t really do anything right or wrong. again, if it were my wedding, I would do it a little bit differently. I would include the aunt, but I don’t know how big her family is. Maybe if you include that aunt. You also then have to include her husband and her kids and, their other cousins.
And their other aunts. I don’t know if it’s just one aunt. I’d be like, just include the aunt. The best I got from her was a half apology. She later told my sister she wouldn’t be planning anything else for me like the bridal shower. Luckily, some of my friends are stepping in, so I don’t miss out on the experience.
But honestly, that weekend, which was supposed to be joyful and focus on the wedding, was completely overshadowed. Oh my gosh. So that was, crazy. I feel like it was one of those where there’s a miscommunication, and people see how it should be their own way, they’re afraid to like.
speak up, but instead of just communicating, they’re gonna hold a grudge. So I think the aunt got her all upset about it And then they just, completely took it from her. Oh gosh.
All right guys. Well, that was a crazy episode. Thanks for hanging out with me but if you guys love this episode, do me a huge favor and tell a friend about it. Share it. because, you word of mouth is just the best way to get it out, and it’s just a fun new little segment we’re doing here.
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Until next time, keep the drama fun and the champagne flowing. Bye guys.