Boudoir Photos Mishap, Relationship Repairs, and an SIL Fallout with Brianna

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

One wedding reception, a packed dance floor… and one sister-in-law committed to the corner.

What begins as a joyful celebration slowly turns tense when a sister-in-law spends most of the night sitting it out. From pre-wedding tension to a reception spent sulking, the mood becomes hard to ignore.

In this week’s episode, Brianna joins Christa to talk about emotional repair, communication, and the realities of modern parenting. As a therapist and mom of five, she shares why helping kids name their emotions matters, and why repairing conflict can be more important than avoiding it altogether.

Listen in as they unpack the complicated line between feeling excluded and pulling away, and how weddings have a funny way of revealing family dynamics that were already there.

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Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

The Drink That Sparked It All – A simple pre-wedding drink invitation gets declined due to wedding prep, becomes the wedding tension.
Rupture and Repair Parenting – Brianna explains why today’s parenting focuses on helping kids communicate their feelings and work through conflict.
Reception Buzzkill – While everyone else celebrates, the sister-in-law spends most of the reception sulking in the corner, refusing to join the party.
The Designated Driver Excuse – Weeks later, the real explanation finally surfaces: she’d been asked to be the designated driver and let it ruin the entire weekend.
Adult Tantrums Explained – Brianna breaks down how insecurity and poor communication can turn into attention-seeking behavior in adulthood.
Family Roles Disrupted – Christa and Brianna discuss how weddings can trigger tension when siblings struggle with changing family dynamics.
Choosing Peace Over Drama – After repeated conflict, the couple ultimately steps back from the relationship rather than continue accommodating the behavior.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“I think consistency to me is more important than finding a niche.” – Brianna
“Everything’s political, sorry.” – Brianna
“You don’t have to have something major going on in your life to go to therapy.” – Brianna
“It’s so important to teach your children how to say how they feel.” – Brianna
“Some conditions are better left in the past” – Brianna
“If you’re not enjoying what you’re doing or what you’re creating, it’s gonna seem so much more of a hassle.” – Christa Innis
“Newsflash, everything is political.” – Christa Innis
“You don’t want people at your wedding that you don’t want.” –Christa Innis
“The beauty of social media is like the connection.” – Christa Innis
“I always think like with these mother-in-law stories or the sister stories, you are just creating more of a barrier.” – Christa Innis

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

About Brianna

Brianna is a therapist, and mom of five boys—and in between all that, she’s also a content creator.

Her content spans mental health insights, thrifting finds, political commentary, parenting moments, and the realities. Blending millennial humor and professional perspective, she approaches a wide range of topics with honesty. Whether she’s talking about parenting, politics, or everyday challenges, her perspective stays grounded.

Somewhere between content creator and mom-of-five life experience, Brianna offers the kind of perspective that helps make sense of life’s more complicated moments.

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A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi Brianna. Thank you for coming on.

Brianna: Yes, thank you. This is my first podcast I’ve ever done, so it’s an honor.

Christa Innis: Oh, I’m so excited. I love when people tell me that. ’cause like I feel like it’s this like big scary thing, but then like once you do it you’re just like, oh, we’re just hanging out. Like it’s just like a Yeah, totally.

Brianna: I know. Well, and I was like, okay. She seems like cool, personable, like I felt more relaxed. So this is a good intro for me.

Christa Innis: Good, good. Yeah, I know. I’m like, I feel like it takes a lot of people back to like 2020 when we all were like on Zoom calls, even like for family and stuff. I remember like doing Christmas one year, my dad had COVID, so we just all were like on Zoom for Christmas and just like hanging out that way.

Yeah, because that was the time.

Brianna: Yes. So true.

Therapist, Creator, Mom of Five Boys

Christa Innis: So for anyone that is not familiar with you or hasn’t seen your content, can you just tell us a little bit about you and what you do?

Brianna: Sure. So, I originally started like making content over on TikTok, and kind of like found my people over there. I do it a lot of, motherhood, millennial related type content, comedy stuff.

I also do, like more political content, especially in regards to like being a mom. so I made my way over to Instagram eventually and I found like some great people over here too. So it’s been really fun. I have five kids, all boys, so it’s like chaotic household, but really fun.

they’re all under, let’s see, my oldest is 10, so they’re all pretty close together, but Crazy house. And then I’m also a therapist, so I have a private practice that I do part-time and. Yeah, I have a very busy full life.

Christa Innis: Wow. When they say like, moms, you can like do it all. You are literally doing it.

All that. It’s amazing.

Brianna: I’m trying, I’m trying.

Christa Innis: Did I hear correctly that you’re a perinatal therapist, was that

Brianna: Yeah. It’s

Christa Innis: perinatal.

Brianna: Okay. Basically like perinatal mental health, so all postpartum, but also like before having kids, so any, Person who, is trying to conceive, is postpartum, is pregnant.

but also like if people have gone through like losses, like I’ll see them as clients as well. So that’s like my specialization, I would say. I basically say I see teen girls and moms and everything in between. So women in general is kind of, my thing and, who I love seeing. And well, I had a really great experience and a really not great experience as a teenager seeing a counselor.

And the good one made me want to be a therapist. ’cause I was like, oh, this could actually be really helpful. So I really love seeing teen girls now ’cause I know it’s, it’s a rough time, especially now to be a teen girl. So it’s nice to, yeah. No. Be a safe place for them.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I feel like that’s so powerful.

I was just talking to someone about how I feel like the stigma with therapy has changed so much. also that’s with like millennials, like growing up and being like, no, this is good. We need to talk about our feelings. cause I feel like when we were kids it was like, oh, therapy. Like that’s scary. But now I feel like we’re all like,

Brianna: yeah,

Christa Innis: I remember in college setting up for therapy ’cause I was like, ah.

I need to talk to somebody.

Brianna: We need this.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Brianna: Yes, yes. It’s so different than it used to be. And even like the town I live in is, it’s not that small, but it’s like small town vibes. Like if you go to the grocery store, you’re probably gonna see someone, you know? That’s just kind of how it goes. so I always tell my clients like, Hey, you know, if I see you, then you’re welcome to say hi to me.

But I can’t say hi to you first because of confidentiality. And I remember when I first started out, I saw, and this still happens, if I see a teen girl, I would’ve never done this as a teen girl. They will see me in public and they’ll be like, that’s my therapist guys. That’s my therapist. Like, no shame.

Amazingly, like I love it so much. And I’m like, wow, that’s so different. Like I think even growing up when I had a therapist, I wasn’t embarrassed necessarily, but I was like, oh, I don’t want someone to think like something is wrong with me. Like, you know, something is wrong with all of us, but it’s so different now in a really cool way.

So I’m hoping as that generation goes into adulthood, we’ll see it even change even more.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I think it’s good with like helping to like process your emotions, help to process like what’s going on in the world, whether it’s like big scale or small scale. and I just love like the conversation around therapy and how like beneficial and helpful it can be.

Brianna: Yes, totally. the tides are changing for sure there, which is really nice and I think it’s good for everybody. You don’t need to have necessarily, like, I mean you can obviously go to therapy for anything, but it can just be daily life that you just want someone to chat with and I think that’s changing, which is really awesome.

Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s really great. So your content, like I feel like you have such a wide range that you talk about in your content. Like you said you talk about like motherhood, politics, therapy, comedy. And so how do you kind of decide, like do you plan out your content? Do you just decide like what’s like heavy on your heart that day?

you kind of like lean into what makes sense for you, I guess?

Brianna: Sure. So I think consistency to me is more important than like finding a niche necessarily. Like I know some people, they make content only about one thing and their audience comes to them for that.

but I think I realized that I was posting different types of content and people liked what I was offering, so I was like, okay, if I’m there, they like it. that’s good. Right. Which helps me a lot because I have a lot of different, like hats I wear, I guess. So it, feels less limiting to me that I can be like, okay, and talk about being a mom.

I can talk about, you know, whatever my thrifting finds. I can talk about politics. I do have some planning, like I did a little series like a podcast if like women podcasted, like men. So that was a little bit more intentional that I was like, okay, let me kinda like write this.

Out. But I feel like the videos that have gotten the most traction or like that people really like are the ones that I just have an idea and I’m like, I’m just gonna record this real quick and see what people think. so that’s worked for me. Obviously there has to be some intentionality there, but I kind of just share whatever pops into my head.

And personally I know it’s like you want your content to be shared to people. Like you want people to see it, you want people to appreciate it. And like that translates to likes and shares and all that. And that’s important, but I don’t really care that much about that. Like, I’m like, I just wanna put what I like out there and if someone else likes it, that’s awesome.

I’m not really like offended if it’s like a video doesn’t go well. I’m like, well I thought it was funny, so that’s fine.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And I think, honestly, I feel like that’s like the secret to it because if you’re not enjoying what you’re doing or what you’re creating, it’s gonna seem so much more of a hassle or like work than totally putting out joy or putting out important information to people.

Brianna: yeah.

Christa Innis: Because you know, you see that where people like really struggle with like what they’re putting out there because it’s like they have to put on this like show for everybody. And it’s like, that can be a lot for sure.

Brianna: I mean obviously there are times, if it is your job or you’re treating it like a job, any job can get monotonous, right?

Or like. Tiring or whatever. And that, I think that’s really normal. But I think I’ve had some people, and I feel like I’m still a pretty small creator in general, but I’ve had people be like, oh, I like wanna grow my page. Like, what should I do? What should I make? And I’m like, I think genuinely people can tell if you’re being authentic.

And that doesn’t mean you have to like share your deepest, darkest secrets all the time. But it means like, I think people can tell when you’re putting on a show and when your heart’s not in it, even if it’s just a silly video, like I think it does come across. So I’m like, if you just, honestly, the cheesiest, right?

You just like be yourself and act like who you truly are. I think eventually the people who will love your content will find you. And sometimes it takes a while, but they’ll find you, I think.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I do some like social media, like, consulting on the side. I’ve worked in social media and marketing for years now, and I always feel like people get very caught up in like, they’re like, oh, well it’s doing well, but how do I go viral?

How do I go viral? Yeah. How do I boom? And I’m like. Just be consistent and the right people will find you. Because if right now you, have a hundred followers, just picture a hundred people in a room. That’s amazing. They’re excited about it.

Brianna: Yes.

Content, Politics, and the Internet

Christa Innis: So you’re always like, wait, I wanna look out there. Then the people in front of you and be like, well, they don’t care about me.

So it’s very easy to be like, how do I go viral?

Brianna: Mm-hmm. And that’s funny. I mean, in my experience, I don’t know about you, but I feel like there’s this difference, right between like, okay, Yahoo, A video is doing so well and that’s awesome, obviously, and you’re like, oh, I’m getting, people really care about this.

They like what I’m putting out, going viral can be very stressful and overwhelming in my experience. you wanna get, you know, people attention to what you’re making. But I think when things really pop off, it’s like you actually are getting people normally to your page that probably aren’t.

Normally there. And so that doesn’t always translate to like, actually that feels nice. ’cause it’s like, oh, you get everybody on the internet looking at your stuff. so I feel like slow and steady, even though it can be really difficult, to be like, oh, some people are just like, their follower account is exploding, or they’re getting all these deals or whatever, you know, whatever you’re trying to get.

I think the slow and steady thing is that’s how you get people who really care about what you’re posting and it feels more like a community and I think that’s what most people trying to build their pages are looking for. But I get that we’re such a immediate gratification society. It’s hard to hold onto that sometimes.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I’m sure too with like posting more political stuff too, like people are very like I’m sure you get trolls and like anytime I post something political, I get people messaging me or I get people commenting like, don’t go political, don’t do this. And I’m like. Newsflash, everything is political.

Brianna: Everything’s political, sorry.

Christa Innis: Yeah. were you always posting political or were you kind of like adding it in more and more, and then how was the response from your audience initially?

Brianna: so I would say I posted political related content early enough. I guess you would say that it wasn’t like a surprise.

Like I think that’s what’s hard for some people is that it’s not maybe that they didn’t care about politics, but they never really posted about it before. And then when they started doing that, they have people who didn’t align with them. And so then those people give them pushback. I mean, I’m trying to think like all through like the presidential election and all that stuff, like I was posting.

So that’s been a while since then. and I think when, a lot of people started being more vocal, because that was a really obviously a big turning point on who was gonna be our president and everything. And, I feel like I’ve definitely gotten more vocal, but it was scary at first. Like people are brutal online.

I think it’s one thing like for someone to not like your content, but listen, how do I say this? Trolls are equal opportunity. Like they can come in all shapes and sizes. Yeah. But I would say it tends to be the men that come from my content and it can be kind of like scary sometimes because they can be like threatening or like just say like really horrible things.

So I feel like this has been the hard part for me, is that when my pages were smaller on like Instagram and TikTok, I would actually get more trolls then I think, because like the algorithm was like figuring out like, where do I send this, person, like, this is mom content, but like, what type of mom am I sending this to?

Or like, this is comedy, but like what type of person is gonna appreciate this? So at the beginning it was actually, I think, harder and there was a time like early last year or like maybe a little over a year ago that I can’t even remember what it was, but like. All of a sudden I got this influx of people being horrible, like horrible.

And was having like a panic attack. I was like, I think I need to quit. I don’t wanna do this anymore. And my husband is like the most chill person on the planet. And so he was like, if you don’t wanna do it, just quit. you can know, you can just block them and move on.

And I was like, oh yeah, I guess I could do that. Right? Like, I guess that’s an option. So I honestly, husband and I are very different, but in that aspect I was like, I’m gonna do whatever my husband would do. And so I just like block people. I try and, you know, I don’t do a ton of like strategy, like social media strategy, but I’m like, I use hashtags that maybe will get people to my page and I just try my best to like ignore the negative stuff.

But I would say it feels like about 90% of what I get feedback wise is positive. So that really does. Help. but I think, you know, people are really brave on the internet to say really hateful things. especially it’s like the faceless profiles, whatever. and I think if it’s like, you know, if someone’s gonna call me a name, just block and move on.

And I think I’ve gotten better at that as time’s gone on, but at first it would kind of take me out. I was like, why are they being so mean? Why are they calling me this? But I’m like, whatever. Thanks for the engagement, I guess.

Christa Innis: I know you have to let it roll. I know. I start kind of telling myself, I’m like, they are a lonely and insecure person or something.

If someone’s gonna come after you online, be a keyboard warrior. Like they’ve got their own issues and I’m just gonna be like, okay. Because yeah, I’d be the same thing. Like, in the beginning it, something would like really affect me and my husband would see it instantly. And while in person, he’s a very chill person.

He’s like, give me their name, let me message them. I’m like, no, it’s why you can’t.

Brianna: Oh yeah. Totally, totally.

Christa Innis: like someone would say something and just like. Pick on me or like if I like replied to something in the way, they didn’t want me to reply, they’d be like, oh wow. Like blah, blah, blah. And they’d come after me for like standing up for myself and yeah.

Yeah. I think that’s the hard thing too about like then I would just start to like bite my tongue and be like, you know what? I’m not gonna even waste my time replying to you.

Brianna: right.

Christa Innis: One time someone, exactly. Someone like said something about a typo on my website and I was like, oh, let me talk to my website designer.

He goes, that’s not a typo. They spelled this wrong. And And I’m like, I’m not gonna even waste my time. But it’s the same guy that will message me anytime I post something political. And he goes, don’t post this. Don’t post this. And I’m. Okay, bye. I don’t care. Jim, from California, wherever from,

Brianna: are you?

Yes. It’s crazy. It’s true. I think the other thing, oh, the thing I was gonna mention, always forget about this is that so when I really started being consistent with making content, my husband and I were both going through like some like deconstruction of religion stuff. So that’s actually when I started being maybe more like vulnerable with my content.

Like, this is what I’m going through personally, or like making videos. And it kind of, the hard part was like deconstruction and the rise of Christian nationalism happened at the same time, very obviously. in some ways that was really difficult because I was like, okay, I’m trying to like sort through these feelings and then it’s showing up in like the real world, not just in my little bubble.

but that’s more what I started posting first. And I feel like it actually, came at a time where I didn’t feel like I had anyone in my, real life besides my husband, but he was, you know, dealing with his own stuff around it that understood. Like what I was going through. Like I was like, I don’t have people around me that know what it is to like leave this community that I’ve had.

And I found ’em online and I was like, oh my gosh. Like it was one of the first times I saw what community I think on social media could be, and it made me feel less alone in that time. And now I feel like sometimes I’m able to offer that with my content to people and I’m like, I know how that feels.

I know you’re like, a lot of people will be like, how do I find like more progressive mom friends? Like, do I know how to tell you that? Not exactly, but I can tell you, even if it’s just online, it will make you feel like not so by yourself out there. So yes, it’s nice.

Christa Innis: That truly is like the beauty of social media is like the connection.

Yeah. with doing this podcast and with just making content, like you meet so many people that you wouldn’t normally meet in real life and that’s what’s so awesome. Like, so just leaning into those positive connections and like having these conversations I think is really, helpful.

Brianna: Yeah, for sure.

Christa Innis: So do you feel like some of the backlash that you have gotten on the messages, do you think it has to do with you being more vocal and opinionated, like as a woman? Or do you feel like, it’s just kinda going back to it’s just trolls being trolls?

Brianna: I think it’s both. it’s hard.

Obviously there’s overlap there, I would say, like I said, a majority of the negative comments I get are from what appears to be conservative men. And I think they don’t agree with my beliefs. And then on top of that, they don’t like that I’m speaking up as a woman. A lot of them will say like, things that come from like a very like traditional, patriarchy filled viewpoint.

Like basically, you’re a woman, you need to shut up type of thing. And I’m like, okay. Like your opinion literally means nothing to me if that’s how you view

Half of the world women. but you know, I have occasionally had pushback from like women or moms. like I said, it’s like few and far between now because I think the people that choose to follow me, they’re like, this is why I’m following you is because we align.

I think it’s, people who are coming from very conservative or I mean, like, living in Washington is different than people. Like this is so bad. This guy really attacked me on the internet and all of his stuff was out there and I was like, where, what is this guy doing? And he like lived in a southern state and his page, I was like, oh, this guy is everything the opposite.

and he’s in a community that it seemed like that was very different from me. And I’m like, we’re not going to align here. And I’m also not gonna argue with a, a stranger on the internet. But that’s why I think it’s been easier to kind of brush that stuff off is because it’s not a person that. Like in real life I would ever associate with, and they don’t have the same values as me.

So it’s, I am like, okay, if you’re a person who calls me out and it’s like, normally we align and you’re like, what’s this about? Then a hundred percent let’s have a dialogue about it. But I would say that rarely happens. It’s usually, and it’s always on Facebook. Always on Facebook. The meanest old, grumpy men are on Facebook and they really hate me over there.

But that’s okay.

Christa Innis: I agree with that. I always say there’s a different, completely different audience on Facebook and it’s, it’s scary sometimes ’cause they can be really supportive and then all of sudden it’s like, bam. And they’re gonna get you.

Brianna: Yes. And there’s some really great people, like there are, there are great people, but I, I have a friend who she said over on Facebook, just post and ghost.

And now that’s what I do now. Like I rarely check comments over there, which I feel bad because there are some really kind supportive people. But I’m like, okay, follow me on Instagram or TikTok or something because Facebook, that one, it’s. It is dark, it’s a dark timeline over there. So sometimes I just have to go post it and walk away and, and kind of get the community aspect on other platforms.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And especially as a therapist, I feel like mental health is like so important and so like, so that’s like boundaries of like, I’m protecting myself, protecting my boundaries.

Brianna: Yes, exactly.

Mom Life and Mental Health

Christa Innis: So how do you think, like becoming a mom, like you said your oldest is 10, how do you think becoming a mom or how has that changed with like, your viewpoints on mental health, um, community?

Um, like I feel like it kind of shifts as you probably, probably with each kid, but like as you get older too. But how do you instill mental health in them and how’s your viewpoints changed on it over the years?

Brianna: Sure. Um, well what’s really, so what’s interesting is I, when I was in, my husband and I were both in grad school at the same time and I got pregnant like.

Not on purpose. I mean, we’re married, but not that it matters. But we were married, we were like newly married and we were in grad school. We were living, um, like on his parents’ property. They had like this little loft thing that we were living in. And so it was like this temporary thing. We were like, we just gotta get through grad school and then we’ll figure out what we’re gonna do.

Um, we really, I was like, I wanted a baby eventually, but I was like, okay, we gotta wait. So we got a dog, we got a puppy, and I was like, perfect. This’ll like satiate my, my baby need. And then lo and behold, the same month we got the puppy, I accidentally got pregnant. I was like, so I was pregnant in grad school.

I had to do like my internship as a therapist, like while I was pregnant. I also like, looked very, very young at that point because I was like 23. Like I was a baby and I looked like a baby. So that threw another thing that I was like, I already feel young seeing these clients. I dunno what the heck I’m doing.

I’m pregnant. What is happening? So it was like kind of a crazy time, but it, you know, it all worked out. I had, um, our first. Son and then graduated like three days after that in grad school.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh.

Brianna: It was crazy. And then like a month before he was born, we like moved into our house. So it all, it all worked out.

But all that to say I was at, we were at very different points at, in our life when we had our first baby. Um, and while I think like in comparison to a lot of like maybe evangelical people, we were a little bit more progressive. We still were on the conservative side. Um, and so I would say that’s been one of the biggest changes is, is my viewpoints from when I was a new mom till now, like just have changed a lot.

Um, and even just like becoming a mom, knowing how hard it is. Um, and like, wonderful of course. But I’m like, I really think you gotta, you wanna be able to choose this, you know? Um, because there are hard days where even if you wanted it, you’re like. I wanna run away for a day, right? So I think everyone should have that choice.

So I think that’s been super, super impactful on me, is just seeing like how hard it is even with all of like the resources and support I have and not everyone has that. Um, and um, so I started, you know, off as a therapist and I’ve, I’ve always worked part-time ’cause we’ve always had like a baby or toddler or both at home and childcare is so expensive.

So I opened my private practice, did all of that. Um, but I think as my political leanings became more progressive, that really helped me as a therapist. Um, there was never anyone I would’ve like turned away as a, as a client or anything. But I think at the beginning there were times where I felt kind of like, oh, I’m really, I really don’t know how to, how to approach this person because I haven’t maybe interacted with a person from this like, walk of life or this anything just different than what I had experienced.

So I think it’s helped me a lot as a therapist to, um. It feels like now everything aligns really well, which is, which is nice. Like I feel confident in who I am as therapist and a mom. And it’s just like, as a person, it feels like it’s all in alignment. Um, but raising all boys is, uh, it’s really fun. And my boys are like very good.

They’re very good kids. Like my mom loves to remind me. She’s like, you know, your kids are like so good and easy. And I’m like, well, they’re good, but you know what kid? What kid is easy mom? Um, but they are, they’re very sweet kids. Um, and you know, normal sibling stuff, but they’re very sweet. But I think one of the biggest things is realizing that looking around the world, like a lot of the things that have happened in our world and our country are because of powerful men usually that are not using that power for good.

And so I tell my boys a lot, like, I’m like. Listen, it’s not, it’s not fair and it’s not right, but you are going to be afforded privileges that other people aren’t your boys and you’re white. And that unfortunately is gonna put you in a position even if you didn’t earn it. So you have to do something good with that.

Um, and I’m thankful, like I went to a very, um, so we like lived next to the town that I grew up in and I, I love it. But the, like, the schools that I went to in the high school I went to was like, no diversity ever. Like, it was very just like homogenous. So now I’m very thankful they go to a different district.

They are exposed to all different types of people, different languages, different cultures. Like to them it’s very much more normal than it was for me at that age. And I think that helps a ton. Mm-hmm. Um, but we really try to like just be open with emotions and like, it’s okay to be sad. Like being a boy doesn’t mean you can’t cry or.

Like one of my kids, I won’t say which one, but he gets made fun of because he really likes pink. So silly. But still, still, which I was like very shocked by that. But like, people are mean to him at school sometimes, and I am thankful that like we’ve had conversations where he most of the time feels confident that he’s like, who cares?

Like, I like what I like, like mm-hmm. You know, girls can like blue, I can like pink. But I think sometimes we forget as much, uh, progress as we’ve made as a society is that there are still a lot of like stereotypes and, and pushback. Um, and obviously girls deal with, with so much, but I’m on the boy end of the spectrum, so I’m like, okay, I wanna just make sure that we all the masculinity that we’re modeling to you is not the toxic kind.

Yeah. So we’re trying our best. Yeah.

Christa Innis: No, I love that. I feel like millennial parents, and again, every time I say this, like make sure I’m saying, I’m like, I don’t think other generations are bad parents. Like everyone has their, no, we’re, our generation

Brianna: is a little different. Yeah.

Christa Innis: But we, I feel like millennials are really good about.

Emotions and empowering emotions.

Brianna: Yes.

Christa Innis: Because I feel like we heard a lot of times growing up like, don’t cry or like, you know, tough up whether boy or girl, you know, whatever. But um, like even like seeing my husband with my daughter and being like, it’s okay. Why are you sad? You don’t, it’s okay to be sad or like you, like name your, your emotions.

And I feel like that’s something like, I would say I have a, I have a girl so I can’t relate to the boy aspect, but I feel like too, it’s like important when you talk about, um, embracing other cultures and languages. Yeah, like I was talking about this recently in a post where people said I got too political.

Um, where when we go to the library every week, I make sure we get books with kids that look different than that are characters that look different than her. Um, or we just got bilingual books the other this week and last week we’re starting to do more of that so she can pick up on words and, and it’s just, it’s little things like that.

It’s so easy to do, but I’m like just making that effort to show like, hey, let’s like embrace other cultures and other backgrounds so you don’t. Turned 25 years old and you’ve never met anybody that looks different than you or had a friend that looks different than you. Mm-hmm.

Brianna: Exactly.

Christa Innis: It’s so important with this next generation, and I feel like that is something that I am noticing with millennial parents that we are, it’s very general.

It’s a very general thing,

Brianna: but we’re trying to be more intentional, I think. And you know, and this is not what you’re saying, just to, just to be clear, what I’m about to say is I think that sometimes people feel judged by like. Millennial parents that were like, oh, we’re trying to do these things. And they’re like, well, we tried our best.

And I, I agree. But I think if you just trace, and this is obviously painting with a really big paintbrush here, but if you just trace back the generations of parents, I think most parents did the best they could, but they were given very limited tools.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Brianna: To do what they could in their parenting like, and like my parents, I am not critical of them.

They did the best they could, but they were raised by parents who weren’t even ever allowed to say how they felt ever. Mm-hmm. So when I had big emotions and maybe I got, you know, sent to my room a lot or whatever, was that the best option? No, probably not. But the fact that I could say how I felt that was progress.

Right. Yeah. So I think that it’s like it’s culminating more and more and. Millennial. What’s, what I think is really interesting too is like millennials are the only, thus far, the only generation that is not becoming more conservative with age. And I think that translates to our parenting that we’re like, we will let you have these feelings.

Like it’s not just children need to like be seen and not heard or whatever the thing is, right. Um, so I think it’s all kind of coming together. Um, the hard part is I think because millennials are so in touch with this, we’re always so worried about like, oh my gosh, we’re traumatizing our kids and we probably are like, that’s it.

It is, it’s we are okay. We are your kids gonna meet their, we’re learning something. But I think the fact that you just said that we’re learning that is different than again, broad strokes, many previous generations of parents, um, is that there wasn’t the openness to say I was wrong. And I think if we can start from that place of like.

We are also learning to be parents. We’re learning you individual, each individual child, what you need. Then at least in the future, it’s not hopefully that our kids will just hold us against, hold it against us for our mistakes. Right. Right. Like they’re like, we get that you’ve always been open and so that, that matters a lot.

It matters a lot.

Christa Innis: Yes. No, that, that was so well said because I, I’ve had similar conversations before with people about that. It’s just like being a parent, coming up a parent myself too has given me more sympathy for like my parents and other generations too. Because you made a great point. Like even talking to my dad about his parents’ generation and his grandparents, like it was so different.

Yeah. It’s like, so they kind of took those tools and made it better and they took those tools and made it better. Um, because yeah, like my, I remember my dad being like, uh, not to get too personal, I don’t share a lot of personal stuff, but like, you couldn’t even like crack a joke at the dinner table growing up.

Like it was serious. Like you sit down. Yeah. We’re not, if you like burp at the table. Yeah, yeah. If you burped or anything, you were like punished. You were off.

Brianna: Right, right.

Christa Innis: And so my dad’s like, I never wanna be that way with you guys ’cause like. Dinner should be follow, we should be hanging out, you know, whatever.

And so, um, just hearing them talk about that. I feel like we’re always trying to like see what our parents did and how we could be better. Not saying they were bad, just saying, how can we take that and then apply those tools? Um,

Brianna: right, exactly. I think that’s what everyone’s trying to do. And that’s, you know, that’s the goal in general, not just parenting.

Right. But I think. Sometimes it can be hard ’cause it feels like, I think other, other generations feel like, oh, like you’re, you guys are being so critical. And I think the criticism doesn’t have to, I mean, sometimes it is warranted if it, if, you know, it’s like a really negative thing. But I think we can look and just say, we know more now we have more resource.

Like we, our, our generation of parents has so many resources, which can be overwhelming, but like my mom couldn’t hop on Google and look and say like, what the heck do I do when my kid does this? Or like, she didn’t have the community besides her next door neighbors to, to figure out like, what happens when my kid comes home and, and says this thing.

Um, and while sometimes I envy that, I think we, it, we just have more resources now. And so we’re just trying to utilize those and yeah, it’s not everyone before us was bad by any means. I think it’s just like we would hope our kids become even better parents than we are. Right? Yeah. So,

Christa Innis: yeah. I know. Yeah.

It’s funny you said about like, too, like talking to your kids and you’re like, oh my gosh, am I, what am I doing right now to, you know, ’cause like, I will, I’m already overthinker and then being like a parent, I’ll be like, I see myself in her sometimes and I’ll be like, oh my gosh. I’m like, and I, and I’ll be like, I’m, I’m sorry I said it that way.

And I’m like, I should say it like this. Or like, um, I dunno if you’ve ever seen that S one L skit, I think, I think it’s Kristen Stewart and she’s like trying to compliment a kid other than like, oh, you look pretty in that dress. Yes. She’s like, you’re, you’re so smart. And so like, I try to like correct myself because I’ll be like, you’re such a pretty princess.

And I’m like, and you, you’re like,

Brianna: wait, no, but that’s not the only thing good about you. I know

Christa Innis: your brain. It’s so hard. Your brain.

Brianna: Yes. Well, and I feel like for a while, and there’s obviously, there’s nothing wrong with that, but I think for a while the pendulum kind of swung so far. The other way that it felt like if you praised your kids at all, it was negative.

Like they were like, no, ’cause they have to have like the growth mindset. All of that is true. But I think if you are. Which you are. I can just tell, even from talking to you, if you’re raising your kids and looking at them holistically, like you’re, they’re an entire person, it’s fine to tell your daughter, oh my gosh, you’re such a pretty princess.

Fine. But I think what, what happened with in some people’s, you know, childhoods, or especially like years and years ago, decades ago, um, is that that was like the only thing that girls were praised for, or, you know, eldest, eldest daughter syndrome. You only were like, oh, you got, you did well. And so we praised your accomplishments.

And so that’s it. And I think if you’re being intentional, it’s, it’s pretty easy if you’re being, if you’re just treating your kid like a person, that you’re gonna recognize all those parts of them. But Right. But I get, you’re like, oh wait, that’s bad, right? Did I just harm you for life? Are you gonna go to therapy for this one day?

Right.

Christa Innis: Disney movies or something. And I’m like, I learned about Disney movies, and I’m like, she had Stockholm Syndrome because he wants her up. So we’ll watch Between the Beast. I’m like, yeah, it’s a great movie, but remember when a man, if a man acts this way towards you, that’s not normal.

Brianna: It is not for real life.

Well, and the thing that I tell my clients and myself, honestly all the time, um, is that I get like with the awareness of knowing how everyone, or like our kids are impacted by our behavior, we get really worried about what’s happening and we think sometimes it’s like, oh no, I yelled at my kid, or I said something wrong, or I sent them to their, this is what I’m guilty of.

Sometimes I send my kids to my, to their room and I’m like, oh, I probably should have talked to them, but I got dysregulated in that moment. I like couldn’t handle it. So, and what I tell people is that the, when that, when that happens, when there’s some sort of like, uh, rupture of the connection, that’s what they call it in, in like the relationship, there’s a rupture.

So it could be like yelling at your kid. It could be, um, not noticing their bid for attention. It could be sending ’em through their room when it should have been a conversation. That part feels bad. And that’s where we kind of get stuck sometimes, right? We’re like, oh my God, what did I just do? They’re gonna carry this with them forever.

Um, but what’s actually more important, and they’re like a ton of different studies on this, I won’t get into all of it, but it, what’s more important is the repair afterwards. And they’ve done all these different research studies showing even with babies that it’s like when you with a baby, it looks like they’re trying to get your attention and you’re not paying attention.

And they’re like, what’s going on? They’ll pick up what on it quickly. What’s more important is the repair. So it’s connection basically. So when you know you have that moment with your daughter and you’re like, I shouldn’t have said that. The part that you went, go to her and you, you know, correct what you said, or you say, you know, like for me it’s usually like.

I probably shouldn’t have sent you to your room. I should have talked to you and I was overwhelmed. Um, that part is the part that like lasts in their brain and that’s what like the, the neurons in their brain are like, okay, this is okay now the relationship is okay now. And I think what, where some parents in the past have maybe stopped is there, is they’re like, oh, that feels bad.

I don’t wanna revisit it. So they don’t, and then the, the repair never happens, if that makes sense. No,

Christa Innis: that was like, that was like

Brianna: powerful. I know. When I heard it for the first time, I was like, oh, that’s so, I mean, I think it’s so encouraging because we’re trying our best, but we’re also only human and we’re bringing, just like our parents brought their stuff, we’re bringing our stuff.

And when my kid freaks out and screams and like, is just being a kid is overwhelmed and I wanna shut them in their room. This is, maybe this is too personal, but I’m like, I know that as a kid and I love my parents. If my parents watch this, love you guys, you’re great. But, and they will admit that they did not.

Let me have those big emotions. So it’s very hard for me to sit with my kids when they’re having those big emotions. ’cause someone didn’t do that for me at that age. Yeah. So I think you have to go, okay, I’m getting triggered as a parent and now I just need to do the repair and. I remember there was a moment you just said the same thing with about your husband and your daughter.

There was a moment where my husband, um, he like was talking to one of my sons and my son was like, you know, really nervous to like, tell something. It was like, no big deal. They’re really little, but they were like really nervous and he was like, there’s literally nothing that you could tell me that’s not gonna make me love and care about you.

And, and there’s no mistake that you can make that’s like too big. And I’m in the corner like choking, sobbing. And my husband’s like, are you okay? And I’m like. Listen, I had an amazing dad. Like my dad is like, great. But I think when you witness your partner doing that with your child, it’s like, oh my God.

I just know you just planted such a good seed in the, in your kid. So

Christa Innis: yes. You like take those snapshot snapshots. Yes. And you’re like, ah.

Brianna: You’re like, oh, this is like core memory. Like in that movie. It’s like that just got captured and that just planted the seed of like acceptance in your kid and it’s like, it’s really nice to watch.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And then you like, I feel like, and I flash forward to like the future and I’m like, you are, you have such a good dad that’s gonna like, call you, like talk you up about your emotions or like what’s going on at school, who you, who are your friend, you know, like that kind of stuff. That’s possible.

Brianna: Totally.

Christa Innis: I love that. I feel like we just had a therapy session, so thank you for that. I

Brianna: can’t help it. I can’t help it.

Christa Innis: No, I loved it. I loved it. I feel like I’m gonna really remember those repair moments. Oh good. Okay. I always feel like it’s funny when I like switch gears. We like chat and, okay, let’s go to like, um, wedding stories.

So as this podcast is around like. Wedding or event stories. Mm-hmm. You told me that you have kind of a funny or wild story that happened in regards to your wedding so far. Sure.

The Boudoir Surprise

Brianna: Oh my gosh. I told my husband I was gonna tell this, and he is like, you loved telling this story? And I was like, well, it’s so embarrassing.

I think it’s funny now. I think it’s funny. It wasn’t funny then. So like I said, I grew up like Evangelical Christian. And so I got married very young. Not that you have to, but it’s pretty par for the course. So my husband and I started dating when I, when I was 18. So like, I like met him like the day after I graduated high school or something.

And we dated for a few years. We got engaged when I was 20. Oh. Uh, and we are getting married when I was 21, so, um, he’s like two and a half or three years older than me. Anyway, all that to say, so part of like the thing, I don’t know if people still do this, but it was like a big thing to do boudoir photos when I was getting married.

Um, and especially I think kind of from like the. The Christian bubble, it was like, oh, you’re like allowed to do this stuff now, now you can be promiscuous. So I had, I had this friend love her and she still, she’s, she laughs about this, I laugh about this. This is no shade to her. She did our photos for our engagement.

We even had done some like model like faux engagement, uh, photos for her, like modeling before we were even engaged. Known her forever. She’s like my youth group leader, so knew for a long time and she took our, all of our pictures, she took our, she took my boudoir photos. She said, I wanna gift this to you for, you know, your husband, once you’re married, you can do these photos, whatever.

And, um, wedding photos, everything. So I took them and I was so insecure at the time. I like didn’t look at them because I was like, I like looked at one and I was like, I hate my body. I like was the hottest I’ve ever been though. So that’s depressing. But I was like, oh God, I can’t look at these. So didn’t really pay attention to them.

Uh, got married, went on our honeymoon. We got back from our honeymoon and we had a gallery of our, like the star, the like preview gallery of our wedding photos. And she was like, Hey, here’s your preview. If you wanna like send these to your friends and family, you’re welcome to, obviously you’ll have a full gallery, but this has some of like your family if they wanna like put them on Facebook or whatever you’re using back then.

And um, so I like emailed out the link to everybody and apparently she used this like, hosting site. Mm-hmm. And so none of it was supposed to be linked to other photo shoots, um, except for on her end. But somehow my father-in-law was looking at the picture. My father-in-law then was the picture. And, uh, he pressed like back on his browser and he was trying to go to like all the pho, like all the preview photos.

Yeah. But it took him to. Every photo she had ever taken of me. And so he like all of a sudden gets like all of these thumbnails of me in, I mean, look, I was in lingerie, but still it was the lingerie. So he, I’m like with my husband, and we had like just gotten home to like our little tiny apartment. And my like, my husband’s like, oh, hold on.

My dad’s calling me. He can picks up. He’s like, he’s like, Hey, what’s up? And I like, look at my husband’s face and my husband’s like, oh my, oh my God. And I’m like, what’s happening? And his dad like, can’t even get the words out. He’s like, you, the photo, you have to tell people not to open. And we’re like, whatcha talking about?

And so it, you know, it comes out like he saw them and he was like, I, I clicked out it really quick, but I don’t want anyone else to see these, blah, blah, blah. And I was mortified. Like, I was like, oh my, like out of anyone. It couldn’t have been my mom that accidentally saw it, or like my sister, it was my father-in-law.

So he sees that, whatever. Luckily we got it fixed. The photographer was like so apologetic, but I was like, you didn’t, it was like a, something with the website. It was not her fault.

Christa Innis: Oh my.

Brianna: But it’s funny because. At the time, I was so insecure that I hadn’t shown my husband those photos yet. Oh he, and so my, my dad saw these and now, still now, because it’s like tainted to me now, I was like, I can’t show, every time I think of these photos, I’m gonna think of your freaking dad.

Like this is bizarre. And so my husband to this day, he brings it up all the time. I’ve never shown him that like, can I please see them? I’m like, well now it’s weird because that was like five kids ago. To me, I look like so young now. And so it’s like this ongoing joke. Luckily my father-in-law has never brought it up.

He acted like it never happened. And that’s way

Christa Innis: like not here or there. It’s gone.

Brianna: Yep.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Brianna: Yep. But every time that I am somewhere and there’s like, oh, we gotta tell your most embarrassing story. I have to pull that one out. ’cause I’m like it now. I laugh, but man, when you’re 21 years old, newly married, it was not funny.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I would probably like move countries and change my name on

Brianna: Yep. I was like, oh, I wanna die. I actually wanna die. So I’m thankful that he just acted like it never happened to me. Um, and because I do the same thing and we just, you know, pretend that didn’t happen and

Christa Innis: just move on with our life. Oh my gosh, that is wild.

Brianna: It was bad.

Christa Innis: That was, that’s, yeah. That would, that I feel like that’s the only way I can go about it. Like, there’s no reason to discuss it or talk about it. You just gotta move past it. Nope. Yeah,

Brianna: yeah. Nope. So now it’s funny, I even said to my husband, I’m like, oh, I’m telling her this story today. And he was like, are you ever gonna show me this?

I was like, Nope. Nope. It’s, it’s tied to a bad memory now. And he’s like, okay. It’s

Christa Innis: like locked away. Just,

Brianna: yeah. I’m like, there’s somewhere on a locked thing on the internet and that is where they will stay.

Christa Innis: So when you actually sent like, or resent the, the link of your wedding photos out to people, did you like triple, quadruple check?

Yes.

Brianna: Yes. Well, and it’s funny because it never happened, like she was taken all of her photos and it was some sort of like glitch that happened that took people back to the homepage that was supposed to be private and

Christa Innis: oh my God,

Brianna: shot

Christa Innis: like, here, I’ll just print you a couple wedding photos and manually,

Brianna: yeah, exactly.

No more internet. Well, and like, especially at that time, like, like I said, I like grew up like Christian conservative, so it was like, not that I would love that now, but like my, my mindset now, I would be like, oh my God, that’s embarrassing, but whatever. But back then it was like, that’s like the worst thing that I could imagine, like mm-hmm.

Horrifying. I could barely deal with the fact that I even took those photos. I was like. What’s wrong with me? Why did I do? I’m so weird. So yeah, that was bad, but now we just laugh and it’s a funny memory.

Christa Innis: Oh gosh. That’s hilarious. Oh man, I love it. That was such a great story. Um, okay. Um, before we get to today’s story, I know we’re kind of going over time.

Are you still okay on time?

Brianna: Oh yeah, I’m totally good. Yeah. All good.

Red Light, Green Light: Wedding Edition

Christa Innis: Um, okay, so I’m gonna do a little red light, green light. This is about like, kinda like wedding ish related, and then we’ll do our resubmission.

Brianna: Okay. Okay.

Christa Innis: So just answer with red light or green light. Eloping without telling anyone.

Brianna: Ooh.

Green light. Okay. I

Christa Innis: like that. Inviting someone who didn’t invite you to their wedding.

Brianna: Mm. Green light.

Christa Innis: Calling out a guest publicly for rude behavior.

Brianna: Ooh, red light. Can’t do that. I’d be too embarrassed.

Christa Innis: I know. I feel like for me, it would depend on the situation.

Brianna: I guess it depends what the behavior is.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Brianna: Right. I once went to a wedding where the best man was literally so wasted, and no one would stop him with his rambling speech. And that’s where, that should have been a call out like, ’cause like there were like hundreds of people and we were all just watching as he told embarrassing stories about the bride.

Christa Innis: No.

Brianna: And I was like, someone take this man off the stage and take his microphone.

Christa Innis: I know when I, I’m like, why are they not unplugging the mic and be like, Hey, thanks, bye.

Brianna: I know. And I’m like, I’m just a random guest. Like, if it were my friend, I would’ve, you know, intervened. But I’m like, it was so bad. And the bride was like, dying inside.

And I was like, yeah, that’s the time that that’s a call out. That’s a call out for sure.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I know. I, I was at a wedding once where the maid of honor said something about her friend, the bride only marrying for money. Fuck. But it was funny because, well, I don’t know if I wanna say too much, but it was, it was an old boss who no one liked.

So I was like, yeah,

Brianna: like you’re like, he like

Christa Innis: a terrible Yeah. Terrible boss. Toxic a bit. Well, I was like, well, I’m not surprised.

Brianna: Yeah, you’re like, I’m not gonna say anything.

Christa Innis: Well, she was so nice. I was like, I don’t know how that happened, but anyway. Uh, okay. Um, expecting cash gifts if guests traveled far.

Brianna: Oh, I’d say red light. I feel like, I guess it was hard too, ’cause I got married so young that I like, didn’t really expect that much. I was just like, let’s just do this.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Brianna: But I, especially in today’s economy, I think if people show up for you, that’s pretty nice, you know?

Christa Innis: Yeah, I know.

Brianna: Even small takes a card.

I don’t know.

Christa Innis: I know. I feel like if someone is. Paying for a flight or a hotel or like coming like a long way. I’m like,

Brianna: expensive.

Christa Innis: Yeah. They’re, they’re coming to spend the day with you.

Brianna: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Um, letting your mom control the guest list because she’s paying.

Brianna: Ooh. My mom did do that. I mean, she let me invite who I wanted, but she’s like, we’re inviting all these random people and I was like, okay.

I didn’t really care. But I feel like, again, I feel like getting married so young, like I didn’t care about certain things that I would probably care about if I had gotten married, like in my thirties. Yeah. I think I would have more to say there. So I let my green light back then red light probably. Now if I, if it was happening now, I’d probably speak up a little bit more bit.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I say that all the time. ’cause like I’ve been with my husband since we were 24.

Brianna: Yeah.

Christa Innis: I’m 35 now. And so I was like, I’m like, and, and we, and we got married when I was, I think I was 31. 30. Um, and I was like, I feel like it’s night and day. Like same thing. If I would’ve gotten married younger, I think I would’ve had a way bigger wedding party.

I think I would’ve invited a lot more people. Um, oh, a hundred

Brianna: percent. Wow. It would be so different like now, honestly, and I, I don’t regret having my wedding. ’cause I think it was really wonderful and it was really great to have people that like loved us and, and wanted to celebrate us, but now I’m like, I just value different things.

Maybe it’s after kids too, I don’t know. But I think I would’ve gone a lot smaller. I would’ve paired things down, but, you know, I’m happy it happened that way. But you just have a different perspective as you get older, I think.

Christa Innis: Yeah. You know, elopement also way different than too.

Brianna: Yeah, totally. Like

Christa Innis: I feel like, like we were, I was just talking, I, we just did a wedding, a story where it happened in 20 2001, so I was like.

Way younger obviously, but 2001 and the wedding was $16,000. And I was like, that seems so cheap. Yeah. But that was like 25 years ago now. 26 years ago. Right. And so it just keeps going on i’s so exciting.

Brianna: Oh, totally. Because I think like my parents spent a lot of money on our wedding and now if it were that same, obviously not like with inflation, I think if it were that same amount amount of money now it would be like nothing.

And that wasn’t even that long ago. Like, we got married in, when did we get married? 2012. It’s been a long time. Um, but yeah, it’s like, it’s so different. It’s just so different now. And I think, but I think even also like back then there were also a little bit like, like I said, like less resource parenting.

There were like less ways you could figure out like where could I buy, like at the best price, all these things. So yeah, who knows? But

Christa Innis: kinda what you

Brianna: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Christa Innis: And before Pinterest probably, which is like,

Brianna: yeah, that was like just entering the scene when I got married. So I feel like a lot of the things that I had were very pinteresty like, I’m like, oh yeah, probably pinned that and just copied it.

Christa Innis: Oh my God, that’s the best. Um, a mother-in-law inviting extra guests without asking,

Brianna: ooh, I’d say red light, but my mother-in-law would never, she’s good.

Christa Innis: Um, friends complaining about wedding costs to the bride,

Brianna: Ooh, that is a red light. Unless it’s really out of control. Like, I have heard, I haven’t had this experience, but I have heard of like, you know, the bride, maybe it has more money, like resources that way, and then the bridesmaids don’t, they’re in a different stage of life or they, you know, have more expense going on.

So I think you have to be aware, you know, like not everyone has the same budget.

Christa Innis: Yes. Have open, but

Brianna: completely bride feels gross, right?

Christa Innis: Yeah,

Brianna: yeah,

Christa Innis: yeah. I, I don’t, I don’t like that. Just have open communication if you can’t

Brianna: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Do it. Yeah. Be clear. Okay. Let’s get into this week. Story submission.

Brianna: Okay.

Christa Innis: Um, as always, I’ve not read it yet, so we’re gonna see what happens.

Oh,

Brianna: love it. Yay.

Christa Innis: My husband helps me out and he, he picks them, puts them in here.

Brianna: Oh, good. So it’ll be a good one. Yeah. Yeah.

The Wedding and the Grudge

Christa Innis: Um, okay. So feel free to stop me at any time or we’ll just react as we go. All right. Okay. My husband’s sister has always been a little intimidating. Even when she was being nice, I always felt like I had to walk on eggshells around her.

My husband, however, always said they were extremely close and had a great relationship, so we spent time with her and even visited. Um, she even visited us a few time when she lived outta state. On one visit she came with her boyfriend. He was nice overall, but he definitely came in hot with political views that were very different from ours and ended up arguing with me a bit.

It was uncomfortable, but we laughed it off and moved on. Fast forward to our, to the week of our wedding. The day before we were set to leave, about a five hour drive with a lot of packing and last minute prep, she asked my husband to meet up for drinks. He said no because we had too much going on. We had no idea at the time that this would apparently cause so much tension.

The first night we had planned a casual dinner and invited everyone who was already in town. She had a few cousins all around our age who were supposed to come, but at the last minute they said they wouldn’t arrive in time and wouldn’t see them until the next day.

Brianna: Oh, wow.

Christa Innis: The following day, they were coming to help me set up for a welcome party.

I met them at the venue and while everyone was helpful, I could tell immediately that she was in a mood. Her boyfriend, on the other hand, was wonderful. My sister and my mom kept commenting on how great he was, and we were genuinely grateful for everyone’s help. After that, we all went our separate ways.

Until the rehearsal and welcome party, we didn’t have tra a traditional wedding party, so the rehearsal was small. Just our parents, my sister and her kids who were in the wedding, my in-laws, and the friend who was officiating. We signed our marriage paperwork that night. My sister signed then and I caught my sister-in-law at the welcome party so she could sign as well.

While there, I also talked with her and my mother-in-law about what time they should come over in the morning to get ready. Okay. The morning of the wedding, she was in a bad mood and barely spoke to anyone. I spent way too much of the wedding morning trying to make sure she felt included and happy, which looking back is wild because I was literally the blind.

It’s like when, when you’re gonna be like sour and then take away from the day, it’s just like,

Brianna: ah, that makes me so mad. Yeah, it’s embarrassing. Yeah.

Christa Innis: During family photos, her boyfriend forgot his jacket. I brushed it off trying to not be be a bridezilla, but she continued acting distant and upset. I don’t remember her saying anything kind about how I looked or expressing any happiness for us at all.

Is this all because he missed a drink with her? I’m so confused.

Brianna: Crazy. Yes.

Christa Innis: At the reception, she sulked in the corner for most of the night. My husband tried to get her to dance or even just talk, but she shoo’ed him away. The next day was more of the same. She removed herself from activities and played the victim.

Brianna: Wow.

Christa Innis: A few weeks later, my husband met up with her and she said she’d been in a bad mood because her cousins made her be the designated driver for the wedding.

Brianna: What,

Christa Innis: how does someone make you, for one,

Brianna: I know, you know, you can literally just, you could just drink something like

Christa Innis: Yeah,

Brianna: and say no.

Christa Innis: You can just say, yeah, no, I’m not going to, or take an Uber.

I mean, I don’t know what it was, but

Brianna: yeah.

Christa Innis: That obviously sucks, but she agreed to it.

Brianna: Yeah.

Christa Innis: So why like make that your whole personality then like, yeah.

Brianna: What? That’s bizarre.

Christa Innis: That’s really weird. It’s like she wanted to be the victim or be upset about something. It

Brianna: sounds like she wanted, she needed the attention for some reason.

Christa Innis: Yeah, because if someone would’ve asked me to be a DD for like one of my best friend’s wedding or a sibling, I’d be like, no.

Brianna: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Sorry. Staying at the hotel or whatever.

Brianna: Right.

Christa Innis: Um, when my husband asked why she seemed so disengaged, she didn’t have an answer. The next time they talked, she said she felt left out of the wedding and that it didn’t feel like her brother’s wedding at all.

Just a party. She happened to attend. What did she, oh my

Brianna: God.

Christa Innis: This is someone that literally, I don’t think you can make happy. I just

Brianna: No, no, because she sounded very involved. Yeah. Like she was ready to get ready, like she’s at the reception or whatever, like all the different events.

Christa Innis: Yeah. She’s at everything.

Brianna: That’s suspicious.

Christa Innis: Yeah. At that point we decided to step back. Now we’re at Civil Family. Now we’re civil at family gatherings, but don’t have a relationship with her to this day. She has never apologized for how she acted. My husband is deeply hurt and frustrated. She’s used to getting her way and she finally is.

He’s finally done accommodating that behavior. In a more recent conversation, he told her he was sad and he felt like she wasn’t really a part of his wedding. She immediately denied ever saying that it essentially gas, and she denied ever saying that, and essentially gaslit him claiming that she never felt feels that way.

She would never feel that way. Now, she insists she was going through something but won’t explain, just continues saying she was excluded and I didn’t do enough to include her. She even claims I didn’t tell her ahead of time that I wanted her there while getting ready, which isn’t true at all. I bought matching pajamas and slippers and absolutely told her in advance.

At this point, she wants us to feel bad for her and apologize, and that’s simply not going to happen. She has completely centered our wedding memories around herself and how she felt, and we are exhausted by it. Since stepping back from her life has been peaceful, no drama, no anxiety about offending her, just calm, his parents aren’t happy and keep telling my husband to be the bigger person.

Oh, make up. But what’s done is done and he’s just done dealing with her. One last detail that adds context. She lived at home until she was 34 and moved out a few months ago, about five months at our, after our wedding. We’re now eight months out from the wedding and I still can’t believe she hasn’t tried to apologize.

It’s sad to watch someone play the victim for this long, and I still don’t understand how our wedding made her so uncomfortable. But honestly, the whole situation has made me appreciate my own family even more. I feel like I kept waiting for something like to be revealed.

Brianna: Something missing. Like the, the bride does not know something.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Brianna: Didn’t know what it is.

Christa Innis: Because why was that like weird boyfriend all of a sudden, like really hands on? Like was something going with that? Like, you know, I thought there was something about him.

Brianna: I thought it was especially ’cause she said the thing about his political views. At first I was like, oh, something’s gonna come up with that later.

Like, but it seems like they were just surprised that like he kind of rubbed them the wrong way and then he was really helpful later.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Brianna: Something else is happening and I wonder, okay. What I wonder is, okay, the husband said he had a really good relationship with the sister, right? Like at first, or like, he always had, I wonder if the, the marriage.

Somehow disrupted his role in the family. Do you know what I mean? Like all of a sudden he, because it sounds like once he didn’t accommodate her anymore, then she’s like, I’m out. Which is actually really normal thing when someone decides not to be in their role in the family, whatever they’ve always played, then people get upset by that.

Um, so I wonder if the relationship was good because he was so accommodating to her all the time and like played to her emotions.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Especially when she added the detail about she lived at home that whole time, like mm-hmm. Up to 34. Mm-hmm. Which, you know, no shame everyone has their own reasons for, you know, no, they calm economy’s crazy.

But if still lived at home and maybe he lived at home before living with his girlfriend, we don’t know those details, but for sure, like he found a girl, he wants to get married to her or found a woman wants to get married to her and has all these wedding things coming up, realizing that she kind is taking the back seat.

Like,

Brianna: I think so not the most important.

Christa Innis: I like,

Brianna: yes. I feel like this is the type of thing sometimes you hear about, um. Like when you hear like mother-in-law, horror stories like this feels like a, a different version of that. It’s like, oh, all of a sudden you’re not the number one or whatever, you know, like, you don’t, you’re not taking priority.

And so immature people, right, like this, this sister, a mature person would say, Hey, this wedding is happening. I need to say something. If I feel left out. Like that would be the mature response, right? But I think immature people, they make themselves trying to make themselves the center of attention, like sulking, right?

Like doing all of these things to be like, look at me, I’m so sad. Which is very teenager like, honestly. And then. Not bringing it up until later and then denying it, all of that. It just like, to me, just like reeks of insecurity and being like, it’s like a tantrum a little bit. It’s like an elongated adult tantrum.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like, you should know why I’m acting this way. Yeah. I’m gonna tell you so. Right. Check out my cues.

Brianna: Yeah. Which is, again, it’s very teenager like, but teenagers are allowed to do that because they’re, I mean, they can’t be, you know, rude or whatever, but like their, their brains literally, they have to act like that, but they’re, they don’t understand how to do the adult thing, but the sister obviously does.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I,

Brianna: what also gives me pause is that the parents are like to the husband, like, you need to go apologize. So what that tells me is like that the daughter is the center of that

Christa Innis: family. That’s

Brianna: the dynamic. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It’s like we have to accommodate her. And maybe up until now they didn’t have a big issue, so it doesn’t, it hasn’t been obvious.

But the big issue is he got married and,

Christa Innis: yeah.

Brianna: Wow. I, I will say from, from what she shared, props to the husband who seems like he took. Control of the situation. Yeah. ’cause I think sometimes, like if it’s like a man and a woman married, then the woman sometimes feels like she has to like, help manage that, which is, and then she gets called the whatever, the bad person in the situation.

Um, so at least it seems like props to him that he was like, yeah, I’m not doing that. That’s great.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. I know. I love that because, uh, you made a really good point. It’s like that typical like mother-in-law story we hear where they’re like, wait, but I’m the number one woman in your life, right? Like, right.

Yeah. And so there’s that weird like, divide that they can’t accept. And so I feel like that was that’s a good point because they like, we, a lot of times in these stories too, like I don’t hear, we don’t hear about the fiance or the husband, right? Yeah. And they’re. The bride or the woman, the relationship is like left to deal with the drama.

Like, he’s like, well, sorry, my, my parents are just weird. Or my mom’s weird. Yeah.

Brianna: And then she looks like the bad, the bad guy that like shut the

Christa Innis: boundary,

Brianna: whatever. Yeah. So good for him there. That’s good. I think with people like that, obviously there’s just a snapshot of their lives, but I think with people like that, like the sister, you do have to maintain really strong boundaries and then if you keep them, then they get the choice if they want to be in your life or not in, you know, while, while keeping inside of those boundaries.

But it sounds like there it was the best choice because their life is like peaceful now. It also hasn’t been that long since the wedding. So it’ll be interesting. It would be interesting to hear like, you know, a couple years from now, especially like if they have kids or something, like if that dynamic changes or how that dynamic changes.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. And, um, I feel like too, now I’m going back to the 34 living at home thing too. Yeah. Again, there’s different reasons. It’s all nuanced, but yeah, if it’s something where she was babied maybe, and like never actually forced to like, go out on your own or get a job, you know, I don’t know every, what other details.

Brianna: Right. But it seems, it sounds, it seemed like pretty pointed that the, that the bride put that in the story.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Brianna: Like, not just like a, like, I think if it weren’t that, like if it were like, oh, you know, she had like, you know, she lost her job or whatever. She had some sort of circumstance. She had to live at home.

It wouldn’t have been worth mentioning. So it feels like she was like, she lives at home too. Wink, wink.

Christa Innis: Yeah. It wasn’t like she went away and came back. It says she lived at home until, so I’m getting like, she was like the baby, like princess of the family. Never had to be. Does

Brianna: it say, was she the older sister or the younger sister?

Did it say in there,

Christa Innis: let’s

Brianna: see,

Christa Innis: it just says

Brianna: the sister, I think. I don’t think it said.

Christa Innis: Yeah, my husband’s sister. Yeah. It doesn’t really say, it doesn’t,

Brianna: it feels like if it were the older sister, I wonder if she was like, my younger brother is getting married before me, or like meeting these milestones before me. And then obviously if she’s the younger one, it could be that like extra like baby of the family.

Like everyone kind of caters to her and then all of a sudden they’re not. But it would be interesting to hear like the birth order there.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Brianna: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I feel like that’s really interesting. Yeah. It, it definitely makes me think. It says she, so she moved out five months after the wedding, it sounds like.

So maybe that’s like the push she needs to get out. Yeah. Yeah. But um, yeah, so I’m getting like she’s used to everyone kind of catering to her. Mm-hmm. And because the brother said like, no, because I’m doing this thing with my wife, I can’t come. That was like the thing. Yeah. She’s like, I’m gonna hold onto this

Brianna: forever.

Christa Innis: He said no to me. Your sister. Yeah. Um. Which I always think it’s like, of course they’re not thinking with their, like their right brain or whatever, but like,

Brianna: yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: I, I always think like with these mother-in-law stories of the sister story, you are just creating more of a barrier. Yeah. Like if you really wanna be involved, like, how can I support you?

I’m so excited for that. You found the love of your life. How can I be there? And then they would want her to hang out with them all the time, you know, like,

Brianna: and it could be this positive relationship.

Christa Innis: Yeah,

Brianna: totally. I think The Hartford is, is like most people, and again, it’s like whatever, people in adulthood, you have to learn how to do these things on your own.

But I think this is, this is like actually such a great example of why it’s so important to teach your children how to say how they feel. Because all of a sudden you have a 34-year-old sister who has to be like manipulative basically, or like secretive with her feelings and you can’t control everything that, how your kids turn out.

But it’s like, that’s why we say to our kids, like, how do you actually feel, share with people how you feel, be, you know, direct in a kind way. Because I think it’s actually very normal to have those feelings. If you have a sibling or a child get married and you feel like, what’s my place? There’s nothing wrong with the feeling, but it’s like the behavior is where it gets weird.

Right? You’re like,

Christa Innis: right,

Brianna: that’s, that’s ruining something for the person you’re upset that is, is changing roles in your life that you’re claiming that you love and you’re making them upset. That doesn’t make sense.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. There’s definitely a lot missing and I feel like they’re not gonna get the answers from her at this point.

Brianna: Oh.

Christa Innis: So now it sucks because now there’s this like weird tension in all their relationships and it could have just been like a new stage, but

Brianna: Right. She could have just said, oh man, like I really wanted to go out for drinks with you. Like I’m, you know, I’m happy for you, but I’m having a hard time that our relationship is probably gonna change.

Great. It was that easy.

Christa Innis: Yeah, it was.

Brianna: It was not though. I don’t think they will probably ever know either. Yeah. Unless one day she like blows up at them and says, oh, this is all what happened and

Christa Innis: yeah.

Brianna: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh

Brianna: gosh. That’s

Christa Innis: messy. And, and it’s too, it’s like she can’t see, when you’re in that victim hood, you can’t see people including you.

Right. Because I mean like it’s so easy to just like sit in that spot of like, oh, everyone hates me. They don’t want me here. And like no matter how many times someone comes over, she’s just not gonna, no, she’s looking

Brianna: at everything through that lens. Yeah. She’s like, oh, well maybe she invited me but it didn’t seem like she really wanted me there or whatever.

’cause it’s like clear the bride was involving her, but it, yeah, when you’re in a certain mindset, I think it’s like, it’s very hard to like assimilate true information and like what’s actually happening. So to her, I don’t even think she necessarily sister was like necessarily like lying about these things.

But I think that she kind of, it seems like she chose that kind of victim mentality and then, then she just saw everything through that.

Christa Innis: Yeah. This is totally like, not making up stories in my head, but like I. Reading in between the lines too. Like even deeper. What if it’s something with like, she is the older sister and like you said, like maybe like offended that he’s getting married first.

Yeah. And so then she like meets this boyfriend. Right. But they’re, it’s kind of weird. So maybe she said something like, something about like getting married and he like isn’t interested and so then the whole wedding she’s just like, oh, you’re

being

Brianna: so I, you’re being so helpful to them, but like you don’t even wanna marry.

I feel like there, there had to be some sort of dynamic with the boyfriend because it seems like weird timing and I think that, I don’t even know, like the bride that wrote in, like I feel like she included things without knowing why she was including them. But they are important. Like why bring up the political thing necessarily?

Like, I don’t know, it just seems like there’s like certain pieces I’m like, oh we’re just missing just a teeny bit.

Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s like

Brianna: I feel like something probably did happen there. Yeah,

Christa Innis: yeah, yeah. Like some hidden conversation with him. ’cause he’s all of sudden being really helpful and hands-on and she’s like, screw you, I just talked to you about marriage and you’re not interested.

Yeah. Something.

Brianna: I’m

Christa Innis: really reading into that for that.

Brianna: No, I, I kinda love doing that though. It feels like those books where you’re like, you see, you like read the whole story and then all of a sudden the next chapter you’re like, you get the different character’s perspective and you’re like, oh, that’s what happened.

I feel like we’re missing that chapter. Yes. We need to know what

Christa Innis: it’s, I

Brianna: know. So we have to,

Christa Innis: I know. Can the sister write in and tell us or point For sure.

Brianna: If you’re listening, tell us your, your perspective.

Christa Innis: Sounds like you right into us. Oh my gosh. All right. Um, that was a definitely a different kind of story because I feel like normally we have like some wild thing happen, so that was good that we could like kind of understand.

Wedding Traditions Confessions

Okay. I would like to end these with confessions that people sent me on Instagram so we can react to these. We, this week we asked what was the wedding tradition that you didn’t want but felt forced to do anyway. Did you feel this way about anything at your wedding, like traditions that you’re like, I’m not doing it, or you did something and you were like, I don’t really like that tradition.

Brianna: I don’t know. Not, I mean. I mean, like I said, I was like heavily still like in the church stuff, but part of like the ceremony, there were a lot of like you like took communion or like prayed together, which I wasn’t against, but I felt super uncomfortable everyone watching us. But there was never like a, and no one like forced me to do it, but it was like the pastor that did our wedding.

That was just what you did. Yeah, but looking back now, like I think I could have incorporated it differently, but I just felt weird. ’cause like everyone’s literally just sitting there watching as you like do all this. I know.

Christa Innis: Which, which, between the two of you? Yeah.

Brianna: Yeah. I’m also like not huge on PDA, so like, which sounds funny at your wedding, but be like, kiss, kiss and I’m like, I, it’s not that I don’t wanna kiss my husband, I just like, I’m not a big PDA girl.

So I was just like, okay. Like, I dunno, that sounds really weird to say, but my husband isn’t either. I’m like, listen, we love each other. But I don’t know the wedding itself. I think sometimes it’s fun to be the center of attention, but for a whole day it’s a lot, man. It’s

Christa Innis: a lot.

Brianna: Yeah, but nothing too bad.

Nothing too bad I can do.

Christa Innis: I get that. Yeah. Like we didn’t, we didn’t do like, I, ’cause I see a lot of people talking about this. We didn’t do the bouquet toss or the garter toss because I was like, let’s just, I don’t,

Brianna: no, the,

Christa Innis: the bouquet toss. I feel like people get, like, I don’t see my friends doing this necessarily, but I’ve been to a lot of weddings where women get vicious.

They like kush, they like elbow and like scratch. I’m like, you’re

Brianna: like, you know, this isn’t like really gonna make something happen for you. Right. It’s just

Christa Innis: No. I’ve read so many stories about people getting mad because they didn’t get the bouquet and I’m like. Girl,

Brianna: that is bizarre.

Christa Innis: You’re not gonna actually

Brianna: things a little bit too seriously and the garter thing, just feel, I think we maybe did that, but like I’ve been to some weddings where it’s like, this is uncomfortable.

Like what is happening? Like why is your whole head under there?

Christa Innis: I don’t want, yeah. I don’t want my husband’s whole body under my dress.

Brianna: Well, I know. I think ours is like quick whatever done. And I was like, why do we even do that? That was so weird. Some conditions are better left in the past, I think. But yeah, you can do what they want.

Christa Innis: I would say like, okay, so we see garter bouquet toss decorating the apartment with rocks, litter on the floor in the toilet and tub. What?

Brianna: What? Why would you do that?

Christa Innis: I’m guessing this was, this has to be European because I, I know like in Europe they call like the to the bathroom would be like the toilet.

Oh. Unless she means the actual in the toilet. Yeah. Wait, it could be like in the toilet.

Brianna: That’s so weird. Maybe they like. I know some people will like decorate or like have a surprise for when they get home from their honeymoon. Maybe they did, went like over the top with that or

Christa Innis: something. Oh, maybe that’s what it was, and they put glitter.

Oh my gosh. Don’t put glitter on anyone’s house. Just don’t,

Brianna: don’t, just don’t have glitter, period. It doesn’t, don’t have doesn.

Christa Innis: Like I love like a little glitter here and there. Like if, whatever. Yeah.

Brianna: Like

Christa Innis: a little face

Brianna: glitter, but like glitter on things. No.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And don’t surprise anyone with glitter, they’ll be watching that out for months.

Brianna: Yes.

Christa Innis: Um, this person says inviting people that I don’t like.

Brianna: Yeah, that’s a tough one.

Christa Innis: You don’t want people at your wedding that you don’t want. That’s,

Brianna: you don’t. Well, and then it’s, it is hard like, ’cause I know it’s like sometimes there’s like family members that aren’t your favorite. But also, I don’t know, there’s, I think especially, and I think again, things that are changing through generations, it’s like you used to have to do that ’cause it was like, oh, you have to respect your elders or these family relationships.

But I think now more people are like, oh, like I get the choice. Just like I wouldn’t invite some random person I didn’t like, I don’t have to invite that person just ’cause they’re related by blood. But

Christa Innis: yes,

Brianna: that’s tricky for sure.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I, I definitely think people are getting better about like boundaries with like, okay, well we only can fit a hundred people so I’m gonna fit the a hundred people that I’m closest with.

Brianna: Yeah.

Christa Innis: I do think like, unless it’s like someone that’s completely like. Exile from the family or like, you know, you don’t like see them. I feel like if you’re inviting like an uncle, you shouldn’t invite all aunts and uncle, you know what I mean? Like Yeah. Otherwise that’s kind of weird, that one. Yeah. Or cousins of a certain age, you know, whatever or

Brianna: totally.

Christa Innis: You’re inviting like friends in a circle don’t like leave like two out

Brianna: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Of that happen. And then that’s really awkward for everybody because that

Brianna: is awkward.

Christa Innis: Oh, you’re going to the wedding. What wedding? You know? That’s

Brianna: right. That is awkward. And I feel like it’s better to be like, and obviously I know money is a factor, but like, if you can’t afford it and it’s part of it, it’s better to invite those people and like either they don’t come or you don’t remember that they were there versus people being left out.

I feel like I’m always hypersensitive people being left out. I’m like, just include them.

Christa Innis: I know. I don’t want somebody left out. Yeah. Um, this person says, including my sisters and my bridal party.

Brianna: That’s an interesting

Christa Innis: one. Sounds like drama. Drama there. Mm-hmm.

Brianna: Uh, my sister was in mine and she would, I’m sure she would agree, but she, my sister’s six years younger than me, so I think that, and I got married really young, so like she was really young, so I think it was, and who knows, maybe those people have drama, but I was happy to have her in my bridal party.

But I think looking back, like when I did like my bachelorette, they involved her, which I was happy to have her there, but then obviously we’re not like going out to a bar or anything. She was like 15 years old. Like, so I think it was a little tricky with that, but again, maybe different decisions if I was older and, yeah.

Christa Innis: Right.

Brianna: I think you should have to invite, like, if you don’t have a close relationship with your sister, I feel like it is kind of weird to have them in your bridal party.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I feel like there’s a lot of pressure from like parents sometimes. Yes. Um, like I talked to a, a bride and groom once where the guy was like, yeah, my parents are threatening to not come to the wedding if I don’t have my brother be my best man.

And I was like, that’s wild. And he’s, yeah, he’s the most unreliable. Like, we’re not close. He’s like already asked my best friend and they’re like, you have to revoke his title. And I was like,

Brianna: yuck. Can

Christa Innis: you imagine? Like, I was glad, like my parents didn’t, ’cause both my husband and I, we had our siblings in our wedding, but like I had my best friend be my maid of honor, not my sister.

And he had his best friend be his best man, not his brother, but, and they weren’t offended. They were fine. And our parents were like, you can have whatever you want. It’s up to you.

Brianna: Right. Well, and at the end of the day, like I get that, especially with the having people in your bridal party is one thing.

Like if they’re like, we want, like, can you please have your sister as, as in your bridal party? Not that they should be able to request that, but I kind of get that. ’cause they’re like, okay, they’re gonna be in special pictures, they’re gonna be in all these things. Like I kind of understand that more. But to say like they have to be your best mehan or your maid of honor is wild.

Because usually that comes with other responsibilities. Like you don’t wanna unreliable person.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Brianna: There. Yeah. That’s weird. That’s really weird.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I don’t get that. All right. This last, per last, last one says, my church was so against dancing, so we didn’t have any dancing at our wedding.

Brianna: Were they in Footloose?

What was happening?

Christa Innis: Oh, no, I weird. Were the grandpa demanded that everyone stop dancing because it was like against their religion and like, oh, that’s one of those things where it’s like you have to like break, not break against tradition, but but like break against like, okay, yes, they did that their wedding, but like what, what do we want at ours?

And

Brianna: we want Exactly. Well, and it seems, I think what’s interesting is like she says like our church is against it. That feels interesting that you’re a part of that church. If you don’t, I mean, I know it sounds like a small thing, but if they’re against dancing, that says a lot about other things. They probably believe like their values and stuff about behavior.

So it’s like, well what if you didn’t have your. Wedding at the church? Like could you have it somewhere else or, I don’t know. Maybe it’s trickier than that, but

Christa Innis: yeah. I’m kind of wondering if maybe it was something where she got married a long time ago and it was a similar thing where she at the time belonged to the church.

Brianna: Yeah.

Christa Innis: And then now she is like looking back, I wish we could have danced ’cause now I would’ve loved that or something.

Brianna: Yeah, that’s possible. I feel like that that would make sense. And especially if you get married younger, some you just don’t speak up about things or you think, oh, it’s not worth it to say something.

And then you get older and you’re like, oh, that would’ve been really nice actually.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. All right, well that was interesting then. Interesting story. I wanna see if I can get like more, more from

Brianna: that. I know she’s listening. Write in and give us more details.

Christa Innis: Yes, I know. I need like get that big like wow moment.

Well, thank you so much for coming on. It was so nice meeting you and I feel like we had such a great conversation with different angles and stuff.

Brianna: Really nice. Thank

Christa Innis: you again. Again for everyone that doesn’t follow you. I haven’t seen your content or can they follow you and what’s something exciting that you’re working on?

Brianna: Sure. Um, okay, so my name on all my socials, it’s kind of funny, but it’s Bril Weasel, so I don’t know if it’ll be like in the caption or, or yeah, we’ll

Christa Innis: add it.

Brianna: Um, but yeah, like I said, I post like mom content, political content, try to make people laugh. Um, and I just got new kittens, so if you wanna follow me, even for kitten content, they’re literally so cute.

Um, but yeah, I love, like, I’m like, I, I have a lot of people that follow me that feel like maybe the, the people in their lives, they don’t have someone to, to talk about whatever they’re going through. And I feel like it’s creating this nice little community. So come and join us. We’ll welcome you and maybe you’ll find your people that way.

Christa Innis: Awesome. I love it. Well, thanks so much again for coming in.

Brianna: Yes, thank you.

Boudoir Photos Mishap, Relationship Repairs, and an SIL Fallout with Brianna

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Therapist, Creator, Mom of Five Boys

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