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Remember who’s actually getting married. Otherwise, we would’ve printed your names bigger than the couple’s on the invitations.

For this episode, we’re holding late-night tea stories that make you want to put your “Hold Your Horses” T-shirt on and call it a day. I framed this episode around my birthday week, letting you all in on both the chaos of these stories and my busy schedule, along with the joy of marking another year.

I dive into three mini stories, starting with a wedding ceremony that had to be restarted because the groom’s grandparents were forgotten. Then, a maid of honor friendship falls apart after the groom criticizes her dress. Finally, we get into a mother who decides her daughter’s wedding is somehow her day too.

The main story follows a mother-in-law who completely takes over the wedding planning, from the bridesmaid group chats, bridal shower to the venue, and somehow makes the entire celebration about herself. We also wrap up with wedding confessions and a very important reminder to practice your first dance in the actual shoes you plan to wear.

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Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • The Ceremony That Had to Start Over – A wedding where everyone forgot to make sure the groom’s grandparents were there, despite them raising him after his mother’s death.
  • The Dress That Ended a Friendship – A maid of honor loses a 10-year friendship after the groom contacts her to complain that her wedding dress is too revealing.
  • Apparently, It’s Mom’s Wedding Too – A mother demanded a bigger role in the wedding and insisted that she was losing her daughter.
  • Meet Jolene – An overbearing mother-in-law takes over the bridal shower, and inserts herself into the bridesmaids’ group chat.
  • The Shower Nobody Asked For – A mother-in-law trying to “help” turns into a church basement and a venue change that leaves guests driving over two hours.
  • Thanking Herself at the Shower – “Jolene” gives a speech thanking herself and her husband before casually mentioning that the bridesmaids “didn’t do much.”
  • The Wedding Was Apparently Optional – The mother-in-law shows up late and delays the ceremony so she can take photos with her son without the bride.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  • “ It’s a work in progress, so we can all get a little better.” 
  • “ Weddings and stressful  occasions do things to people.  But I also feel like there’s no excuse for it.” 
  • “ So practice your dance in the actual shoes you’re gonna wear.” 
  • “ The number one thing I hear is don’t waste your time  on favors. .”
  • “ Anyone that wants to actually host for someone  is going to make sure  it fits their, like, their wishes and what they like and what they enjoy.”

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

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Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis, and wow do I have major brain fog today. I’ve tried recording this three different times and it’s just all over the place. So today might be a little bit of a shorter episode, just because it’s currently 10:30 at night.

I still need to edit my skits. I filmed a long section today. It’s probably gonna be two or three parts. not 100% yet. Once I do the editing and stuff it kinda comes out later. Anyway, so I have to still do that. We are getting ready for a vacation that we are leaving on next week, so kind of getting all our ducks in a row for that, making sure work is, finished before we go, we’re all good to go there.

 and I just wanna be fully present. I know there’s a lot of people out there that are creators and they document everything and that’s great. I’m someone that would rather be fully present. and I’ll take pictures and stuff while I’m there but I’m not likeposting stuff. I kinda just do like my away posting, so I might post some like little things while I’m gone.

 and then I get back for three days and I leave again, but this time it’ll be for a solo trip. so there’s a lot going on. I feel like all of a sudden August got here and I’m like, “Oh my gosh, where is the time going?” I’m just trying to catch up and make sure I’m not missing anything. it’s just, it’s a wild time.

Tees for Tea Time

And if I seem all over the place, that’s why. I’m kinda like trying to file it all together up here. If you can see my shirt, you can only see the top here, but it says, “Hold your horses, I’m overstimulated.” It’s from, Anna Lee who does Along the Waves, on Instagram. She just has some great tips and great community for moms.

 and so I fell in love with this merch and I’ve been living in this T-shirt ‘ cause it’s how I feel. I feel very overstimulated a lot of the times. And it’s funny because people comment online and be like, “Oh, where’s this next part?” And that, I’m not talking about the people that are excited making kind comments or just like they’re excited for it.

 there’s always like a rough one out there that’s like, ” You only post one part,” or, “Oh my gosh, I had to wait, three days.” And I get it, it sucks when you have to wait for something. but for me it’s likeThere’s a lot of other things I’m trying to balance. Not to say other people aren’t, but this isn’t, the only thing I’m focusing on and, I like to be a very present mom.

 one of the things I do that I think is very different, I don’t know, I know there’s other people out that are like this, but very different than other creators out there is I don’t film in front of my daughter at all. So the only thing that she’s maybe seen me do is unboxing if someone sends me unboxing stuff if I think it’s something that she’ll enjoy.

She’s never in the footage. She’s not a part of it. She’s usually doing something else, and she might just be in the room and kinda see it. But other than that, I don’t film any skits in front of her. I don’t, script in front of her. She doesn’t see my content. So it’s a very separate thing. So when I’m with my daughter, I’m present with my daughter.

So people from the outside might see, like, a two-minute skit online and be like, “Well, she’s got 24 hours in the day. What is she doing if she can only do a two-minute skit?” And I’ve talked about it before, but it’s like behind the scenes it’s like the writing takes a couple hours. the filming takes a couple hours.

The editing takes, you know, an hour or so depending on it all. And I don’t want this to come off as I’m complaining or anything. I just kind of like, there’s so much that goes on behind the scenes that a lot of people don’t see, and I always feel the need to explain myself, and I kind of need to like step away from that because I realize, like I’m never gonna please everybody.

No one fully knows what my day-to-day is like. No one fully knows, what I’m doing throughout my day. And if I have a chance to be fully present and go do something with my daughter, I’m going to. That’s gonna always take priority. Or if she needs me, that’s gonna take priority. all the moms out there or parents out there listening can, hopefully understand that.

By the time this episode comes out though, I will be fully back, hopefully winding down a little bit, and it will come out during my birthday week, which is exciting, but it’s not like… You know, you get to a certain age and it’s just like, “Oh, it’s my birthday. Like, cool,” and then you like let it go. I do love celebrating.

I’d love doing something small usually with my family, but I think August was always like a fun time to have a birthday. but because of that, I’m gonna do things a little bit different. Like I said, it’s gonna be a little shorter today. But I was scrolling through my Instagram one day and I realized I had a hidden folder of all these submissions that people sent me, and they’re kind of like random.

Sometimes people will reply to a story and be like, “Oh my gosh, I have to tell you what happened to me.” So I’m gonna read three random ones that I got, and then of course, the very end I will react to a wild story submission and confessions. 

So let’s see what we got here. Okay. Here’s the first one. I’m also drinking my tea.

If you guys were with me for my last solo episode, I was also recording at night. This is my same bedtime tea, from Yogi. And you know what? This one has a little like tag in it. They all have a tag. It says, “Accept the challenge you are facing. It may become your greatest gift.” Ooh Think about that.

What’s your biggest challenge you’re facing?

Mine is balancing a million things and trying to stick to boundaries for my work and life, I would say. It’s like I’ll be really good one day about okay, I’m fully present with my family, and then the next I feel, guilty or like I need to catch up and, like, do other work stuff. So it’s a struggle, but, I’m getting there.

It’s a work in progress, so we can all get a little better

Okay. I always laugh at myself. I know this does not seem super, like, ordered. I do have notes, I promise, but sometimes I just like to chit-chat because these solo episodes are kind of like a chance toget it all out there and just be, real and just, chat with you guys. anyway, here we go.

Here’s the first one. “

DIY Weddings

 these are ones that were sent a while back and I found in my hidden folder. So here’s, like, a fun little mini story/confessions. Okay. When my niece got married, it was a very chaotic DIY event due to her lack of planning and her mother wanting to party the night away and let everyone else set up and clean up.

Another family member, my husband and brother-in-law’s sister’s husband, came up to Connecticut from Alabama to perform the ceremony, so the entire event was at a single location. Eventually, the groom and groomsmen were all lining up. The brother-in-law performing the ceremony is all set.

The wedding march begins Beautiful ceremony. All of a sudden, it starts all over again. Nobody made sure the groom’s grandparents that raised him after his mother was killed, whoa, brutally murdered, they took him in and his sisters. They did not make sure the grandparents were in attendance before starting the ceremony.

They stayed to watch the ceremony 2.0 and left in a huff right after, rightfully so. Mother of the bride bad-mouthed them the rest of the night, and father of the bride and I got the potluck set up and cleaned up to try to help recover. Amends were later made, but you still sense the hurt and anger over not caring enough to ensure the grandparents’ presence.

Yikes. I mean, it’s hard when there’s so much going on, but you would think the person that raised you would look for them first and find them there. I don’t know if they were walking him down the aisle. I’m guessing they weren’t … Like, how would you not notice if they were walking down the aisle?

But either way, you typically have, a spot in the front reserved for someone like that. and I don’t know who was in charge of being “Okay, Grandma and Grandpa are there.” You need to, have your eye on everybody to be like, “Okay, Aunt Carol, you’re gonna watch Grandma and Grandpa. Okay, Brother, you’re gonna watch Sister and nephew,” you know, whatever that is.

 but that sucks, and that sucks that they left later. I don’t know if they just didn’t come back then or what happened, but oh, geez. Okay, here’s the next one. Hi, Christa. I love your profile. I just lost a maid of honor one month before the wedding. while I was under therapy and high temperature, my husband called her to say that the dress that she bought for the church ceremony is far too provocative and revealing and not casual as invitations said, and she sent me an SMS not only canceling her coming to the church wedding, but also our 10-plus-year friendship.

Still in a state of shock as it helps to see that I’m not alone in this situation. Other people go through stress, too. Thank you

Wow. I have a lot to say about this. One, your husband never should have sent that text message, and I would be very angry at him because, one, it’s not his place to comment on another woman’s clothes, and two, especially not your maid of honor. Now, maybe you thought that yourself that she shouldn’t be wearing that dress to your wedding.

 I don’t know. If she was your maid of honor, did you have a dress for her to wear, or did you say, “Pick a certain dress,” and then she picked one, but the one she picked you didn’t like, or did your husband not like it? ‘ Cause that’s a bigger issue if your husband’s like, I have a problem with your maid of honor’s dress,” and then he took it upon himself when you were in under therapy, I’m guessing you were sick maybe, and he called to say that.

I would be extremely offended if my friend’s husband or fiancé called me and said, ” Hey, your dress is too provocative. Change it.” I’d be like, ” Excuse me?” Like, one, I’m dressing for my friend. I’m not dressing for my friend’s husband, and two, you should not be commenting on it. So I feel like this message, although she’s not asking for input, but I’m just like this is, just part of what I’m doing, right?

 part of this message is missing a lot. I need to know more context here. I’m kind of in support of the maid of honor. I don’t know your full friendship. I mean, 10 years of friendship, you would hopefully know each other pretty well, and you would hope you would support each other. However, that really rubs me the wrong way, the husband contacting the maid of honor and saying it’s far too revealing.

You never once say what your thought on the matter was, just what he did, and that you’re shocked that she ended the friendship. So without giving too much detail, this was sent to me over a year ago. So I wanna know if there’s a little bit of an update, and if you can give me more context to this because I need to know why he did this and why he thought it was appropriate.

Did you tell him to do this? Did you make a comment about her dress? What dress was she wearing? not what dress was she wearing, like I care if it’s revealing or not. Was she told to pick out a dress, or does she have a dress already? You know, that kinda thing. but that does suck. That sucks when you lose a maid of honor, but chances are she was after that comment he made, she’s like, “Well, I don’t support them getting married because I don’t want her to be with someone that’s gonna act that way.”

Oh, gosh. Okay. We got one more mini, and then we got the full story submission Sorry, guys. I feel like by the end of the night my voice gets so crackly because I’ve just been, like, talking all day, and I never just rest my voice. also another thing I forgot to say is, I’m filming, I’m editing the Scarlett skit, but, again, by the time you guys hear this, I’m not sure what skit I’ll be doing.

That’s another thing that’s behind the scenes is when I’m away, obviously I can’t film, and I’m not going to, so my plan is to, like, just post minis while I’m gone and I… but I have to, tie off this skit. So there’s a lot of planning that goes into it, and I know people will complain ’cause they’ll be like, ” What happened to the Scarlett skit?

“It’s My Day Too” Email 

What are these minis?” And so I’m just bracing myself. Anyway, okay, last one. ” Hi, Christa I’d love to share with you my wedding experience that I had with my mother. Keep in mind, my relationship with her is better, but the whole wedding process was a pain. It all started when before my now husband and I were engaged, I was explaining to my sister about a venue we had in mind. We saw it at a vegan pop-up we were at. I am vegan. And my mom immediately yelled at me in front of my whole family and cousin who was in town, saying I need to think of my guests. From that moment on, I knew I needed to just keep decisions between me and my husband.

We got engaged. We got the venue right away, a different one than the original one we planned, the date, and lots of other little things. We planned our vegan caterer. I tried to reach out to my mom a lot, but she would either not respond or not be helpful, so I was done reaching out. Be in mind, I gave her a big job, which was to do the decorations.

A few months before the wedding, I get this big, long email saying that I left my mom out, that it wasn’t just my day, that it was her day, too, because she was giving up her daughter. That’s a new one. Okay. And that it was going to be hard to be excited over my wedding because of it. I cried so hard that after I tried to keep her involved as possible, but she would always make side comments.

She did get better as the wedding got closer, especially ’cause she saw it was hurting me, but it was a wild time. Wait, who sent her the message? It doesn’t even say. It just says I got a long email saying I was leaving my mom out. Who sent you the email? okay. A lot to say here. First of all, I’m sorry that this happened.

Second of all, the fact that your mom is … It sounds like she started off by giving her opinion, and then realized her opinion wasn’t gonna go too far, and I kind of, respect that you had a good boundary and you were like, “You know what? I’m gonna just plan stuff with my husband.” As it should be, right? You only invite people in for what you want help with, right?

 but Now she’s, not gonna respond to you because she’s not getting what she wants. She’s not getting her way. Again, with the email, who sent this email? Because it was her day too, because she’s giving up a daughter. That’s, that’s not a thing. you’re still her daughter. and that it was hard to be excited because of it.

So she ultimately, made herself a victim to someone, and either told them to send the email or complained enough that they were like, “I need to send an email to this bride,” and then guilted you into involving her again. There’s no apology. There was just you pulling her back in because you felt bad.

 I’m sorry that happened. That is a wild time. I mean, weddings and stressful occasions do things to people, for sure. But I also feel like there’s no excuse for it. I think you can also, like, come back and be like, “I’m sorry,” apologize for acting a certain way, but All right, guys, I gotta get to this story

I promise I’m gonna try to stop doing the nighttime recordings, but sometimes it’s the only time I can record, and it’s kind of, like, relaxing for me to just read some stories. All right, here we go.

Church Basement Surprise 

 I was a bridesmaid in my close friend’s wedding last year. I knew she and her mother-in-law didn’t get along, but I had no idea how bad it was until we went through the planning process. For context, the bride’s mom had passed away during COVID due to cancer complications and contracting COVID.

Oh my gosh. After her mom passed, her future mother-in-law really overstepped trying to replace her. Fast-forward to the wedding planning. One day, her mother-in-law created a group chat with all the bridesmaids. We got this message from an unknown number, and it was so long you had to click it and scroll forever to read the whole thing.

How did the mother-in-law get all the bridesmaids’ phone numbers? That’s weird. Oh my gosh. Long story short, while asking to take over planning the shower, she also trauma dumped about all her personal health and family issues. Throughout the message, she repeatedly insists she wasn’t overstepping, while very clearly overstepping.

If you have to say you’re not overstepping, you’re very clearly overstepping. And she said she wanted to plan the shower to take it off our plate. We were actually really excited to plan it, but we were open to sharing responsibilities if it made things easier. We sent her a few affordable venue options we had found, places like a local veteran center or small function hall since the bridesmaids were planning to split the cost.

Immediately, we received another long message from her saying she couldn’t afford a fancy venue, even though none of the a-options were fancy and she was furious. She called her son and yelled at him for two hours, claiming the bridesmaids were being over the top and asking for too much for a shower the bride didn’t even need.

Why is she wanting to be involved in a shower for the bride if the bride doesn’t need it? Don’t be involved then. Eventually, he calmed her down, and she sent us another message saying she had found a free venue. The venue? The basement of her church. I said this is like a skit and someone was like, “What?”

But it happens. People do, like, receptions and events in the basement of their church This was an immediate red flag. The bride had only ever been in a church once, for her mom’s funeral. On top of that, her mother-in-law asked us to keep the location a secret because it was supposed to be a surprise. The problem, the bride hated surprises.

Know your audience. We kept the details minimal, but gave the bride a heads-up about the date so she could request time off work. A few weeks later, we get to the bachelorette trip. After a few drinks, I accidentally let it slip that the shower was at a church. The bride immediately panicked, called her fiancé, and asked us to change the venue.

Oh, no. Honestly, okay, here’s the thing. I am really good at keeping surprises. or keeping secrets. I did my husband’s 30th birthday surprise, and it was so hard, but I did. I did my parents’ anniversary surprise with my siblings years ago, and it was hard, but we did it. And I hate when people, like, spoil things, right?

But this is one where if I knew my friend would not like it, and I knew someone else was taking over, after a few drinks, I would maybe spill the beans too, just to be like, “Hey, are you, cool with this, or do you want me to, like, do something about it?” of course, we were willing to accommodate, but we were very nervous about dealing with her mother-in-law again.

 At that point, we started a separate group chat and jokingly named it Operation Jolene. I had to make sure the name was actually changed, and it is. I’ll call her Jolene from here. The groom told Jolene that we couldn’t host the shower at the church due to the bride’s wishes.

Once again, I received a message from Jolene accusing us of talking behind her back, saying she felt betrayed because we ruined the surprise. Here’s the thing. If you already weren’t really a part of the group, you pushed your way into the bridesmaid group chat. They’re not talking behind your back. They literally already had the bridesmaid group, and you were pushing your way in Then in the same message, she casually mentioned she was planning to pay for the couple’s honeymoon, but didn’t trust us to keep a secret, even though she had just told us.

We apologized for making her feel out of the loop again and offered to pay for a venue ourselves. Before we even had a chance to look for an alternative, she went ahead and booked a new venue. It was at a gun club over two hours away from most of our guests. Some people should not be involved in planning events.

They’re just not good at it, and I would be very annoyed being a part of this wedding. Because of that, several people couldn’t attend, but she refused to budge. On the day of the shower, we arrived two hours early to help set up per her request. Two hours early. Oh my gosh

She immediately started barking orders at us, telling us exactly how to decorate using hundreds of dollars worth of decor, even though she had previously said she couldn’t afford anything. The bride is very shy. She didn’t wanna open gifts or play games, but Jolene insisted. So this is Jolene’s party.

This is not the bride’s party. Anyone that wants to actually host for someone is going to make sure it fits their wishes and what they like and what they enjoy. You’re not gonna make them uncomfortable and do a party that caters to you. Then she gave a 10-minute speech Guys, I can’t.

Thanking herself and her husband, talking about losing her oldest son to marriage, and recognizing only her side of the family. This is really rough. After an awkward silence, she briefly thanked the bridesmaids and added that we didn’t do much, but appreciated that we showed up. This can’t be real

I am like picturing The witchiest person Like, oh, before you guys leave, I just want to thank you guys so much for attending my party. I put a lot of hard work in it, and it spent, hours finding, the perfect location and all this stuff, and my amazing husband for doing whatever I said during these last couple of weeks.

And, oh yeah, and these, ladies over here, the bridesmaids, you didn’t really do much, but thanks for being here anyway. Like, what? And honestly, that was just the beginning. at the rehearsal dinner, she was black-out drunk, talking badly about the bride to me and my fiancé.

On the wedding day, she showed up late and delayed the ceremony so she could take photos with her son without the bride. I can picture her. I can literally picture her. The event coordinator spent the entire night trying to manage her and had to remind her at least five times the wedding was not about her.

There are so many more stories, but that was just a glimpse into the chaos she brought to the entire wedding process. Oh my gosh. If that story is from one of the bridesmaids, I can only imagine what the bride has to say about all this. The fact that they already didn’t get along great, and then I don’t know when the bride’s mom passed away, but I’m guessing it was pretty soon before the wedding.

And so for the mother-in-law just to come in, take over the wedding, start her own group chat with the bridesmaids is so ridiculous. But this is the over-the-top mother-in-law character that we’ve talked about and that we’ve seen. This is the one where, like, when I’ve done skits, people are like, “Oh, this is so dramatic,” and people are like, “No, this actually happened to me.”

This is so wild. I mean, I wanna know from the bride’s perspective if they ever, put her in her place and were like, “Hey, we’re not going to allow you to do this.” And it’s also awkward as a bridesmaid when someone comes in, because you hear things from the bride or from your friend.

Maybe if they’ve, like, had arguments or just don’t get along. So it’s like you don’t really know your place with, saying certain things. Now, if I had someone talking badly about my friend, then yes, I would directly be like, ” “Hey,” “no,” “let’s knock that shit off, please.” But the other things of, her taking over the bridal shower, I’m like, I don’t know.

Like, do you wanna host a shower? it would definitely annoy me though. Cause I’ve been a part of a lot of bridal showers, and people do come in at the 11th hour and they’re like, “We should change it. We should do this instead. How about we go to my uncle’s cabin?” And you’re like, ” We already have a full shower over here that we’re doing, so no thank you.”

 Guys, people are wild. Let me know what you guys think. What would you do in this scenario? Because I’m a little stumped. When you’re the bridesmaid, it’s hard. You only have so much say. Like I said, I would definitely tell … if the mom’s talking crap to me about the bride, I would say something.

But I think it needs to be brought to her attention about how she’s acting and starting this group chat. come on, you don’t need to be in a group chat with the bridesmaids. Oh, Lord have mercy. Okay, let’s get to some confessions, and then we’ll call it a night. What’s a wedding detail that you stressed over that no one noticed?

This person said, “The napkins.” “The flowers at the end of each pew, total waste of time and money.” Escort cards, and I’m in the wedding stationery business.” ” I put fish on the menu but accidentally ordered chicken.” So she, like, wanted a special meal. ” The darn favors. That was 26 years ago when they were still the thing.”

That’s, like, the number one thing I hear, is don’t waste your time on favors. I don’t regret mine still, though. We did decks of cards, and we did have some left over, but, like, I feel like that’s one of those things where you can just, toss it in a bag. You know, it’s good to have a deck of cards, but maybe I’m just saying that ’cause it’s mine.

It doesn’t have, like, our name or our face on it. It’s just, like, a cute deck of cards that, like, went with the theme. envelope liners. Actually, we were at our friend’s house last weekend, and we were all gonna play Spoons, and they pulled out the deck from our wedding. So I was like, “Oh my God, someone’s using it.”

Envelope liners. Don’t even know what that is because I’m not classy. What is that? Oh, is that those things that, like, the sheet that goes over… I should know this. I don’t know. My bridesmaids’ flowers were in ombre order from dark pink to light pink to meet with white.

That’s a lot of effort. Not having speeches. Decor on reception tables. My bridesmaid shoes, dresses were black, red shoes, nobody saw them. I was just thinking that the other day. Someone, wrote in and she was talking about how her mother-in-law made comments about the shoes she chose as a bride. She was like, “Oh, those are cheap,” or, “It’s, like, a bad brand.”

But I’m like, you never see the bride’s shoes. unless you’re taking photos in the beginning and you’re holding your dress up or they’re doing, like, the setup photos where the shoes are in them, you do not see them. I wore heels for walking down the aisle at the ceremony, and then when we leave the reception, I put on wedge sneakers because I knew I’d be running around, and it was the best decision.

The only regret I have is when my husband and I practiced our first dance, I had different wedge sneakers that were, like, dirty as shit. I wore it, all the time. and so I got white ones for the wedding day that were a little bit… I wanna say they were a little taller. I don’t know. They were different height, so I kept tripping on my dress.

So practice your dance in the actual shoes you’re gonna wear. that’s, my TED Talk today. All right, guys. That’s all I got for today. Thanks for hanging out with me. Sorry for the raspy voice. Sorry for the late-night, chatter. A lot going on, but a lot of exciting things coming for you guys. and I’m excited to put more things out there.

Thanks for being here, and I will see you next time. Bye now.

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