Wedding Doubts, Cowboy Boots, and a Mother-in-Law Meltdown with Jen Glantz

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What starts with a pair of cowboy boots ends with a family secret you definitely won’t see coming.

This week, I’m joined by returning guest Jen Glantz, founder of Bridesmaid for Hire, and we dive into one WILD wedding story. Cowboy boots. Bridesmaids quitting. A drunken mother-in-law speech. Accusations about money. And then, just when you think you understand the drama, a shocking family secret changes EVERYTHING. Because, spoiler alert, this wasn’t about the boots.

We also talk about motherhood, social media boundaries, finding your village, and what 12 years of working as a professional bridesmaid has taught Jen about love, marriage, and those terrifying last-minute cold feet. What would you do if you said, “I don’t wanna do this,” right before walking down the aisle?

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Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

• Finding Your Village — Christa and Jen reflect on how some of their closest friendships exist entirely online and why community doesn’t always have to be local.
• When Cold Feet Get REAL — Jen has seen firsthand what happens when someone questions their marriage right before walking down the aisle—and one story still haunts her.
• Put the Phone DOWN — Christa and Jen talk motherhood, social media, comparison, and the very real struggle of being present when your entire digital life is sitting in your hand.
• 12 Years of Wedding Drama — As the founder of Bridesmaid For Hire, Jen has watched hundreds of relationships up close. She shares what those weddings taught her about marriage and choosing the right person.
• This Isn’t About the Cowboy Boots — Two sisters-in-law suddenly drop out of the wedding over dresses and cowboy boots. But Jen immediately sees what Christa sees: there is something much bigger going on here.
• The Mother-in-Law Takes the Mic — A rehearsal dinner speech takes a wildly inappropriate turn when the mother-in-law gets drunk, drops multiple F-bombs, and claims she’s responsible for the couple meeting.
• When Family Drama Gets DARK — What initially looks like toxic in-law behavior takes a heartbreaking turn when the couple discovers the mother-in-law has been struggling with a serious addiction.
• The Money Mystery Finally Makes Sense — The couple eventually discovers why the father-in-law thought they were lying about the rehearsal dinner costs—and the truth is even messier than they expected.
• Protective Mom or Future Problem? — Jen and Christa debate how they’ll handle their daughters dating someday. One wants to be welcoming. The other is already preparing to become a problem.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

• “If I have to choose between being present with my daughter or filming, I’m gonna be present.” – Christa Innis
• “Sometimes I literally will be scrolling, and I’m like, I need to go outside and physically touch some grass right now.” – Christa Innis
• “It’s so good to be authentic to you, because I think especially in social media, it’s so easy to get caught up on, ‘Oh, well, that’s what they do. So I should do that too.’” – Christa Innis
• “I feel like a lot of it stems from insecurity and control.” – Christa Innis
• “He needs to be standing up for her and on the same page as her.” – Christa Innis
• “I want my daughter to feel comfortable bringing people here, and I wanna be, like, fun.” – Christa Innis
• “If the line gets crossed and my daughter says, ‘They did this to me,’ I will never forget.” – Christa Innis
• “This isn’t about the dress and the boots.” – Jen Glantz
• “You can choose who you marry, you can’t really choose their family.” – Jen Glantz
• “If you are engaged and you’re not sure, it is okay if you go through with it. It’s also okay if you decide to call it off.” – Jen Glantz
• “You are so brave either way, truly.” – Jen Glantz
• “I wanna live our lives, and just like you, make content when she doesn’t see me do it.” – Jen Glantz
• “When you’re home all day and you’re attached to your phone, you live in all these alternate realities and you kind of lose yourself a little bit.” – Jen Glantz
• “You’re not gonna be able to win this race yourself.” – Jen Glantz

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

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A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa: Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Here Comes the Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis, and if this is your first time listening, we are the podcast that dives into the drama, hilarity, and unforgettable moments when it comes to weddings, events, and beyond. We always react to wild stories, we have confessions, and I have guests come on and share some wild stories of their own.

 so today’s guest is someone that has truly seen it all when it comes to weddings. She’s actually been on the podcast before, and we had so much fun last time, I just had to have her back on. Jen Glantz is the founder of Bridesmaid for Hire, the author of Finally the Bride, and the host of the 1-800-Bridesmaid podcast.

 After spending years stepping in as a professional bridesmaid, she’s witnessed the chaos, the drama, and unforgettable moments that happen behind the scenes of weddings. Today, we’re diving into her journey and the lessons she learned while writing her book, talking about motherhood, parenting, and reacting to a wild story that someone sent in to me.

She also shares some wild stories of her own, so that’s, always fun because she’s been a bridesmaid hundreds of times. Yes, hundreds. also, you’ll notice a quick interruption in the middle. For you, it’s not gonna feel like anything, but for us, it was over a month because we had a slight weather, issue interrupting.

 there was a tornado warning that went on in the middle of recording. So, we just jumped right back in to where we were. Anyway, without further ado, please enjoy this episode with Jen Glantz.

Christa: Hi, Jen. I know we were- Hi … I know we were just talking, and I was like, “I should just start recording,” ’cause I was like, I feel like we’ll just start talking for, like, the next hour, and I’ll be like- … “Wait, we should probably record it.”

Jen: No, I feel like I could talk to you forever about topics all over the world, but especially weddings, and life, and family stuff.

Christa: Yeah. I know. I love that. I feel like we’re in very, like, similar areas of, like, what we do, and so it’s so fun. And when I was thinking of, like, guests to, like, reach out to and come back on, I was like, “Oh, we had so much fun.” I remember last time we were just, like, chatting, like, our daughters are about the same age, so we’re in that same stage of, like, parenting, and I was just posting about, like, finding your village.

And, like, whether that’s, like, close or far, I feel like it’s just nice to know people in, like, similar stages. It just, that community.

Jen: Yeah, I don’t know about you, but, like, so many of m- my best friends or even people I talk to all the time don’t live in my city. Like, most of my friends live everywhere else, and I feel like that’d be so weird 10 years ago, but now I feel like it’s kind of more the norm.

And it’s, it’s hard to find people in your own neighborhood sometimes who are going through what you’re going through. But some of the coolest people, and people I’ve become the closest with, are people I have never even met in person. Like, we’ve never met in person, but I feel like I know so much about your life.

Motherhood, Social Media And Touching Grass 

Christa: Yeah. It’s, it’s a wild time. I know. I feel like with, like, social media and, like- Just internet. I don’t know, like I… Same thing too, it’s like I’ll start talking to people on here and I’m like, “It’s so weird. I’ve never met you in person.” But like, we have great conversations, and we chat on social media, or like I send messages and…

Wild, but it’s

Jen: fun. It’s the pa- it’s the good side of social media and the internet- Yeah … is meeting really cool people. Like, I feel like I waste six plus hours a day on my phone doing God knows what, but then like the positive is that maybe it leads me to people like you, so I’m gonna keep wasting so much of my life on the phone.

Christa: Yes, I know. I know, and it’s… Do you find, too, it’s like with like, like with parenting and stuff, it’s like we’re able to like do more when we’re like out and about, so it’s like finding that like boundary. Like, I could be like at the park with Cleo and I’ll just quickly send something on my phone or like send an email.

So I feel like I’m more present because I’m able to like do things from different places, but then it’s also like shutting that part off, like not thinking about it. I don’t know if you have a hard time with that like overlap, like-

Jen: It’s so hard because having your phone next to you is so easy. Like sometimes I’ll be with Gemma and I’ll be reading her books, we’ll be doing lunchtime, and my phone’s right there just so I can check the time.

But then of course I’m getting texts and I’m checking email, and then something interesting will come in on the phone, and I’m, she’s talking to me. I’m reading, but I’m also like thinking about what’s on my phone, and my brain is going in this weird circle, and- Mm-hmm … it’s dangerous because sometimes I feel like you can never really turn off the work or the access to your digital life, even when you’re with them.

And the hardest part is she’ll say to me, like this is so embarrassing, but she’ll say to me at least once a day, “Mommy, get off your phone. Put your phone away.” And I’m like, oh my God. She’s at an age now where she sees it, she knows it, and even soon she’s gonna think that it’s me going to my phone over her, and I have to get better at that.

Christa: Right. Well, yeah, but it’s, and it’s also, like I always think about, you know, they’re getting more like aware of it, but I also think about like how it used to be is like they only had like a desktop or they went away to work, so they were away for, you know, eight to 10 to 12 hours at the office. Then they’d come home for dinner.

Like, you know, the typical or the standard like working parent, right? Um, or even if they had an office at home. Like, my dad worked from home, but he was in the office, had the door shut, was in there. Um, but a lot of p- lot of kids I knew didn’t have their parents, you know, working from home. And so I think about like how, I know it’s different, but it’s like they s- they physically see us-

Jen: Yeah

Christa: sending the email, where as opposed to before we’d be like in the other room, door shut. So I know, it’s, it’s such a new phase we’re kinda in of like figuring out like, okay, how do we set boundaries, but also like- It’s nice to be able to, like, send a quick email and be physically out there with my child. I don’t know.

Parenting In The Work-From-Home Era 

Jen: It’s so hard. I know. It’s so hard. I don’t- Uh, my schedule is I will wake up at, like, 6:00, and I’ll, I’ll try to work from, like, 6:00 to 9:00. But during those, those hours, I’m still with her when she wakes up. I’m still making her breakfast, and I’m carrying my computer with me, so she’ll wake up and the first thing she sees is me on the computer, and it’s like, it’s so hard that they’re now more aware.

But the trade-off is if I get all my work done by 9:00, I can be more present with her throughout the day, and I really love and I’m so grateful that I can have this life where I can do both things with her. But the… I don’t know how you feel about this, but the one thing that kind of I’m trying not to do is have her watch me film myself because I feel like that’s such a weird thing for her to see is, like, me talking to the camera and putting on a bit of a show.

I mean, how do you do it? Because a lot of what you do- 100% … are these skits, are these fun things that you’re talking directly into the camera.

Christa: Yeah, 100%. No, I… It’s funny because I was gonna make a video about this because- The number of times people are like, especially with series, they’re always like, “Do the next part.

Why, why it takes you so long?” And I’m like, “Ugh, you want a camera on me showing me all the things I do in between?” And I’m like, so one thing is I do not film in front of my daughter. Yes. Like, she does not see anything I post. I don’t like… Like, there, like sometimes if she, like, sees my computer she’ll be like, “Oh, what’s that?”

I’m like, “Oh, it’s just from a video for this,” whatever. But she’ll never, like, see me. I only film, especially, like, the first, I wanna say like year of her life at least, maybe even more, I only filmed at night when she was already in bed.

Jen: Wow.

Christa: And so I was like b- like exhausted. I’d be up late. Sometimes my husband would still be, like, at, at work at that point or he’d be home and I would just be, like, filming in the ba- And that’s why I filmed in the bathroom.

People are always like, “Why’d you film in the bathroom?” I was like, it was far enough away from my daughter’s room, great lighting, and I, it was like once she was in bed. And so, um, and that’s the other thing too with filming is like if I have to choose between, like, being present with my daughter or filming, I’m gonna be present.

Yeah. And so I just have to find the right time, and it’s usually gonna be nap time or when she’s already in bed. Um-

Jen: I feel the same way. Yeah. When before she was born I was like, I’m gonna be this mom influencer, and I’m gonna chronicle my whole life having a kid and show my kid and be this influencer.

And when I was pregnant my friend with four kids was like, “I just wanna bring you back down to Earth and tell you, like, that means you’re always gonna have a phone in your face, in their face.” Mm-hmm. “And that’s gonna be kinda strange.” And I was like, “No, no, no, no, no.” But then the second she was born and I started to be like, okay, you know, I just gave birth and then she’s in the video and I’m, I’m acting.

I’m being myself, but of course I’m turning it on a little bit more. I was like, “This is not for me.” Mm-hmm. I don’t want my daughter to see me with a phone in my face all the time. I don’t want the phone in her face all the time. Like, there’s times I’ll, you know, take a video of her and I’ll even have both of us in the video, but it’s rare.

And most of the time I don’t post it ’cause I’m like, this is performative. This is weird. She’s not agreeing to this. Ah. Like, it’s just, it’s too much.

Christa: Mm-hmm, weird.

Jen: But I quickly was like, I actually wanna spend less of my private life on social media because- Yeah … I don’t wanna walk around, you know, with a smile being like, “Hey, everyone, look at, look at our lives.”

I wanna live our lives, and just like you, make content when she doesn’t see me do it and doesn’t see me post it because- I don’t know, it just, it just didn’t feel authentic to me. I know people do it and they do it so well, but when I tried to do it, I’m like, “This is just not what I want for my life.” And it just completely shifted my content strategy.

Christa: Yes. No, totally. It’s funny because, like, we’ll go on a vacation or something and I’m like, “Oh, I should film, like, some content or something.” But I’m so uncomfortable with filming out in public, so, like, if I do anything, it’s like I’m filming, like, towards, like, the ground showing, like, oh, this is, like, a cool, like, mountain side or it’s a cool beach or whatever, and I’ll just, like, throw it in somewhere.

And I’ll always look back and I’m like, I took, like, no videos. And I don’t post my child online at all. And so I’ll be like, I took, like, no videos because I just, I don’t wanna be that person that’s, like, they’re, like, doing, like, a little family vlog. Like, and again, not shaming anyone. That’s… Some people do it great.

Yeah. That’s just not me. I don’t consider myself, like, influencer. I just not, that’s just not my… I always laugh at it, ’cause I, I always try to w- I want to do cont- or, like, not do content, but have, you know, B-roll type stuff so I can, like, use it for stuff later, and I’m so bad at remembering. Like, in the moment my brain’s just, like, like, bouncing all over the place.

Jen: But this is how it shows how you’re such an authentic content creator with what you do, because you create videos that are very much you and you’re… I, I’d say you’re not trying to be someone else, but in the videos you are being someone else. But it’s, it’s acting, it’s skits, it’s things like that. But you’re not creating content that feels weird to you and inauthentic to you, and I really respect that because I do think a lot of people are s- are pushed to be like, “Okay, I’m gonna be doing things outside like this.”

Authenticity Over Algorithms 

And if it doesn’t feel right for you, then you shouldn’t do it because it’s never gonna show up and feel right for people watching it if it doesn’t feel right for you to do.

Christa: Exactly. Yeah. And I worked in, like, social media marketing for, like, many years. Like, I think it’s go- we’re going on, like, 13 years now.

Before I even, like, had this account, and that was always my thing. I would say, I actually worked for a mommy brand. I, I would always be like this f- if something felt inauthentic or felt like fakey or cheesy, I couldn’t post it. I would, like, spend all this time editing. I’d watch it and be like, “I can’t post that.”

Yeah. “That does not feel real.” I hate sell-y and I hate, like- Like pretending, like obviously I do the act, like the skits, but everyone knows it’s like- Yeah … right, skits. But if I was like, “Oh my gosh, everyone should get this water bottle because blah, blah, blah,” and like I watch it back and I’m like, “That doesn’t sound right.

I’m not gonna post that like, that I want it,” you know?

Jen: The amount of times I’ve posted something and then I’ll take a shower and be like, “Wait a second. I don’t like that. That doesn’t feel right. Like now that it’s out there, it doesn’t feel right.” I run out of the shower and delete it. Like, if you follow my social media so closely, I’d say like 50% of the things I post, within an hour I take down because I’m like, “This doesn’t feel right.

What’s the agenda behind this? Like this is just, it’s just not right.” And that’s the beauty of being able to delete it, but I feel you. Like if it doesn’t feel right, I can’t sleep at night knowing that it’s living out there on the internet for people to see. And if that… I, I post a lot less now than I did before I had my daughter because- doesn’t feel right sometimes, and I just, I don’t do it.

Christa: Yeah. But that’s so good, too, about being authentic to you, ’cause I think especially in social media, it’s so easy to get caught up on like, “Oh, well that’s what they do. That’s how they post. So I should do that too,” or, “If I wanna look like them, I should probably do this.” And it’s so good to like, you know the phrase, like touch grass.

Like sometimes I literally will be scrolling, I’m like, I need to go outside and physically touch some grass right now. And I’ll leave my phone inside, and I’ll go on a walk with my family. And I’m like, I feel a million times better. ‘Cause it’s just like you get caught in that like comparison zone of like, oh, do I need to be doing this?

And then I’m just like, Christa, turn it off. Like-

Jen: Yeah …

Christa: walk away, ’cause

Jen: that’s a big not.

Christa: No, I,

Jen: I love the touch grass thing. I need to start doing that some more. Because seriously, like when you’re home all day and you’re attached to your phone, you live in all these alternate realities and like you kinda lose yourself a little bit.

Like whenever I go on TikTok for more than 10 minutes, I completely lost myself. I’m down all these rabbit holes that I shouldn’t be down. I feel more anxious, I feel sad, I feel all of these things. And I’m like, wait, what did I just learn or what did I just get from being on TikTok for all of this time?

It’s so addicting, but it really changes your brain chemistry, and I see how it affects me. And I tried to like go off TikTok for like a week, and I feel noticeably better. I feel like my anxiety is down. So yeah, I think sometimes you get sucked in these rabbit holes. And also like as a mom, and if you’re home with your child all day, like you have periods where you’re like, I’m kinda lonely.

She’s independently playing. I kinda need some type of dopamine hit. Social media’s there, and I find myself just going and scrolling. And I’m like, oh man, I could have used this time for something so much better that would’ve made me feel better.

Christa: Mm-hmm.

Jen: But yeah, sometimes as a mom you just kinda feel lonely, and that’s your way of connecting, and it’s- it’s- it’s real, but it’s also weird.

Christa: Right. And, and social media has a way of like, you’re like, oh, I’m learning something or I’m like-

Jen: Yeah …

Christa: oh, this new hack. Yeah. I know. I find that really interesting about like, um… Well, it’s funny ’cause before kids, like, um, I was like super good about like texting back right away and emailing back right away, and I was like, I would always have this like log right here.

I’m like, oh, I gotta get back to that person, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And now I know, like, how I can so easily… Especially with, like, ADHD, I’m like, I can, I can so easily get down that rabbit hole of, like, I, I pick up my phone to text someone back, and then before you know it I’m scrolling. So I will admit it right now, I’m so bad at texting back because I, I will remember, but it might not- Yeah

be till the next day or two. But, like, I’ll see a text and I’m like, “I can’t. I cannot even open the phone to look at their text right now,” because it’s gonna cause me to, like… Like, let’s say you’re trying to schedule, like, a meetup or some- like a s- like a play date or something. Then I’m like, “Okay,” then I’m looking at my calendar, then I’m doing this, and then before I know it, it’s an hour of me not working or an hour of me pulled away from something.

And so I just, like, I’m like, I hold texts till that night or the next morning. And I love when it’s another mom friend, ’cause they get it, and they’re like, “No, I’m totally understand. It’s okay.” I’m like, “I’m sorry.” The new, the old

Jen: me- Do people get upset with you? Do people… ‘Cause I, I feel like sometimes, like, some of my friends get upset, ’cause I used to be just like that.

I used to be, like, the star texter, the immediate texter. Mm. And now I’m the same way. So do people ever get upset with you?

Christa: If they do, I don’t know it. It’s- Yeah … it’s, like, my own internalized, like, “Oh my God, they’re mad at me.” So no one’s ever said to me, like, “Oh my God, you didn’t text me back.” I have had my mom a couple times be like, “Did you not get my text yesterday?”

‘Cause it’s probably like, “Are you alive? Are you okay?” Um, and I’ll be like, “Yeah, sorry, it was a really busy day and I forgot to text you back.” Um, so usually I, like, end up texting her, like, the next day, and I’m like, “Sorry, Mom.” Um, but no, I haven’t had a friend sa- say anything. I’ve had just, like, sometimes, like- Um, maybe like I don’t hear back from them for a little bit when I do text them back, and I’m like, “Sorry.”

But-

Jen: Yeah, I’m … But I’m like n- I’ve become not a texter. Like, I would much rather … Like, if a friend texts me like, “Hey, what’s going on? What’s new?” I cannot bring myself to write back anything. I’d rather pick up the phone, call you, talk to you for an hour and tell you everything, but I’m just not a texter.

I’m not a communicator like that. I feel like it’s so hard for me to express what I’m going through or what’s going on, or even like how my week has been over text. Voice notes, like I haven’t fully entered that phase with friends yet. Sometimes friends will send me voice notes, but I- I’m not there yet with communication with them.

But- Mm … I feel like as I’ve become a mom I’ve become this like old lady where I’m like, “Let’s get on the phone and, and chat.” And it’s just like, I don’t know if it’s easier for me or just better for me to communicate that way, but I, I can text you like, “I’ll see you at 8:30 PM.” I can’t text you any updates on my life.

I can’t. I can’t do it.

Christa: It’s hard. It’s hard, yeah. I’m still not a phone caller. Yeah. Every once in a while, but I would much rather … Like, I love an in-person meeting. Yeah. And I’m like, I’m that person where if we’re in person my phone’s away and let’s just like focus. Um, but again, with moms and schedules, like it might be six months from now before we can get together.

Um,

Jen: but- No, I have s- This is what people … People get on my case for not texting them back, and then if they ask me to make plans I’m like, “How’s November 5th?” And they’re like, “Wait, what?” And it’s not even ’cause I’m busy. Like, I don’t really have a lot going on, but it’s like when you have to figure out like, “Okay, I’m with Gemma these hours, these days,” like it just, before you know it, it is November 5th.

And right now we’re talking in July, so it’s like people, people get on my case for that, and it’s, it’s just part of being a mom to a young kid who’s not in school yet and all these things, and also trying to work for yourself. Like- Yeah … there’s so many external factors that just make your schedule hilarious.

But I have so many people who are like, I feel like they don’t even reach out to me anymore ’cause I’m like literally, “How’s next January 2027

Christa: look?” Right. Like, let me pencil you in now.

Jen: Yeah. Yeah. But mom friends do get it. Like, I have a couple mom friends where I’m like, “How about two months from today?”

And they’re like, “Absolutely.” And also like- Mm … you know, let’s just pencil it in. Maybe we’ll cancel it. I’m like, “I love you. We need to be friends.” Like, this is-

Christa: Yes …

Jen: cancellation policies need to exist because things happen and they pop up the day of, and I think you should be allowed to kind of back away and cancel without hard feelings.

Christa: And we’re back. For, anyone that heard the little blip in our audio, it’s because, I had a tornado warning and had to get in the basement, so

Jen: that was fun. Insane. Like, things you don’t expect to happen when podcasting. You think, “

Christa: Great.” I know. It’s like, we were talking, and I like, I noticed- Yeah … it getting darker and stuff, and then all of a sudden I was like, I heard my husband knock on my door, and I’m like, “Oh, maybe he forgot I was, like, podcasting.”

And then he, opened it and he’s like, “We gotta go in the basement.” And my daughter was napping, so we had to like- … fix the whole thing. But-

Jen: That is seriously terrifying. Yeah. And I was thinking of you the whole time, ’cause I’m like, “Oh, my God, like, what happens if the tornado blows off their roof?”

Like, you don’t know. it must be such a crazy feeling being in the bathroom like, thinking about all these things happening.

Christa: We moved to a new neighborhood, four, three or four months ago now, and a tornado went through this exact neighborhood like, four years ago.

So neighbors I’ve met, their roof was actually blown off. So it’s scary to like- That’s crazy … so everyone gets a little bit of PTSD when, tornadoes- Yeah … happen because they’re like, “Oh, this literally happened.” No, for sure. So yeah. My daughter’s happy we have a basement now, and so we’ll go into the basement.

But we’ve gone in there More times than I can count since living here but it’s all good. No,

Jen: for real. I was thinking of you, so I’m glad you guys are okay.

12 Years Of Wedding Drama

Christa: Yes. so I know we like, we love to just chat. Yeah. it’s so fun hanging out, but I feel like last time I didn’t even, tell you to, like, introduce yourself.

I know you’ve been on before. Yes. So can you remind everyone, I think it’s such a fascinating thing what you do, because I even see, when you post about, your book and stuff, people are like, “Wait, she’s been in how many weddings? What does she do?” So can you talk a little bit about what you do and how you kinda got into it?

Jen: Yeah, so I’m the founder of Bridesmaid For Hire, and that is a company that is exactly like its name. It’s a company where strangers hire me to be their bridesmaid. In 2014, I had this light bulb moment when all of my friends were getting engaged and getting married that if I could be their forever bridesmaid, why not do this for strangers who might not have any friends?

So at the time, I posted a Craigslist ad. The ad blew up, and I started working weddings for strangers. So strangers hire me, I show up, I pretend to know them from some part of their life, and I act as their best friend for the weekend. And once the weekend ends, I never see them again. It’s a crazy job.

I’ve written many books about it, but my latest book is called Finally the Bride, and it infuses stories of my journey getting married. Yay. Yay. it’s an interesting book because most of my other books are all about other people’s weddings, and this one is about my journey getting married and also what I’ve learned from the weddings that I’ve worked for the past 12 years.

Christa: Wow. So do you think, you took something kinda from each wedding and kinda like filed it away to be like, “Okay, do this. Don’t do this”? I know one of the things you talked about, like, social media and otherwise, is about how because of you being in part of so many weddings, you didn’t want a big wedding yourself.

Jen: Yeah, for sure. You know, it wasn’t so black and white where I’d go to these weddings and be like, “Well, I don’t want flowers and I don’t want this.” It was more like existential. I’m like, “Well, I don’t wanna get married if the person I’m gonna marry is, you know, somebody that I’m not gonna love forever, and I don’t know if, marriage is something I want or if a wedding is something I want.”

So like the first couple weddings I went to I’d be like, “Oh, I don’t want a white dress,” or, ” Oh, I don’t want a cocktail hour.” But then by wedding 50, I’m like, “I don’t know if I will ever fall in love or if I’ll meet somebody and know that is the kind of love I want.” Mm-hmm … the questions were so deep.

And then when I met my now husband, I put him through the ringer because I was like, “Hey, one of the biggest reasons people hire me is ’cause they have cold feet or they wanna end their engagement. So what’s to say that you and I are gonna get, meet at the aisle and I’m gonna know you’re the one?”

And I really freaked out, and it caused a lot of problems between us, and it caused a lot of delay in us even getting engaged and getting married.

Christa: Mm. ‘ Cause you probably saw so many different relationships over those years of, being a hired bridesmaid that you’re like, ” Wait, this couple is so unlikely.

Why are they getting married?” Or the couple you told me about where they made it all the way to the day of the wedding, and she’s like, “I don’t wanna do this.” And so I’m sure you saw so many different angles where you’re like, how do you know if these people are, freaking out, or scared, or they go through with it and then they regret it, or, probably hearing all those different stories.

Jen: Yeah, like one of my favorite chapters in the book is called Sometimes It Doesn’t Happen, and it talks about a couple of the weddings I’ve worked where it didn’t happen, or it almost didn’t happen. And I remember being in the car with somebody, and I was asking her, she was divorced, and I was asking her, ‘During your wedding, like, did you know you were marrying the wrong person?’

And she was like, ‘Absolutely. I remember walking down the aisle thinking, this is gonna suck to have to do again.’ she knew walking down the aisle, and actually, that’s like a common thing. Like, if you ask a lot of people who got divorced, especially who got divorced within the first five years of marriage, they knew at the wedding that this was the wrong person.

But it was almost more socially acceptable for them to go through with the wedding than to just end it a month before.

Christa: Mm-hmm.

Jen: And that happens a lot, and I don’t think you would know it. there’s a lot of people who I watched getting married who I knew behind the scenes, like something was off. But- Yeah

publicly, they seemed great, and on social media, it was like, ” I love my husband so much,” or, “I love my fiancé so much.” So you never really know, and I think that’s what freaked me out the most was, like, you would see a couple, and on paper they would look great, but behind the scenes, there was a lot of ruffled feathers.

That freaked me out.

Christa: Yeah. I just had someone on my podcast, Mary McGuffin, and she said she was engaged really young, and they had everything, paid for and ready, and she called her mom, I wanna say a couple weeks before the wedding or something, and she’s like, “Mom, I don’t wanna get married.

This isn’t my person.” And she’s like, “Everything’s paid. You’re doing it. Divorce later if you want.” And so she’s like, “We went through with it, and I knew it was wrong.” And she’s like, “Then we divorced,” and she’s like, “Now I’ve been married for, I think, 25 years to her now husband.” And she’s like, “So I knew then it was right.”

But yeah, I’m sure you’re right. Like, so many people, know in that moment ’cause they’re just like, well, everything’s paid for, and then you make it more of a spectacle of all these people are coming- Yes … and we have family coming in, and they’re relying on us, and vendors are paid, you know, all that stuff.

Jen: You know, it’s just so scary because I’m such an indecisive person. if you ask me where to go for dinner tonight, I will have a panic attack and kind of just say “You pick. whatever you wanna do.” And I cannot decide for the life of me if that’s the right or wrong decision, and a lot of what I saw were people who were really battling deeply, like, is this cold feet or is this just nerves?

And they really didn’t know. And that freaked me out because, you know, I’m married now, but when I was engaged, I’m like, “Well, I, love him. I’m pretty sure I love him, but, what if I get to the wedding day and all of a sudden everything swarms my brain and I’m like, ‘Oh, this is a bad decision?'”

Because so many people who have cold feet, it doesn’t hit them till right before they’re about to walk down the aisle. It’s almost like, you’re about to go skydiving, and you’re on the plane. You’re like, “I can do this, I can do this,” and then it’s time to jump out of the plane, and you’re like, “Wait, I can’t do this, and this is why.”

Mm. And it hits a lot of people before they walk down the aisle, and that freaked me out ’cause I’m like, “I can’t make a decision for the life of me. I’m always second-guessing myself. Like, what if I show up at this wedding and it just hits me, like Adam’s not the right person for me?” And when we got married, that was my biggest fear the whole morning, was like-

” Is that feeling gonna suddenly hit me? And if it does, like, what do I do?” and it’s because I had seen this a lot, and the average person doesn’t, like, think about it. when a person has cold feet, they really don’t have anyone to tell, so oftentimes they don’t tell anybody. It’s like a, self, internal feeling you get.

So a lot of people you know might have had cold feet, and you wouldn’t ever know.

Christa: Wow. That’s so interesting. Yeah, ’cause I feel like romantic comedies from, like, the ’90s, it was like everyone had cold feet. It’s like Runway Bride or, you know, like, they’re all, hyperventilating, and they’re like, run or whatever.

Yeah. And I was just talking to someone about this, and I’m Like, weddings I’ve been in, and then my own wedding, I’m like, I didn’t have cold feet. But I don’t know if that’s ’cause, I lived with my husband so long, so to me it was just like, just another thing that we were really excited for.

I was like, I don’t know. and unless my friends just didn’t say anything, I didn’t think they had it. But there was one friend That I may have talked about this before, but like they ended up getting divorced, but she was, in the parking lot, really upset about the wedding and was like, “I can’t do this.

I don’t think I can do this, but everything’s been paid for, so we have to go through with it.”

Jen: It’s a bunch of money

Christa: and time. Yeah, so I don’t know. I feel like a lot of it probably is nerves too, making sure the day is going right, and the timeline’s going through.

People show up when they say they’re gonna show up. There’s a lot riding on the day.

Jen: Oh, beyond… You know, one of the stories that haunts me, like sometimes I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and I’ll think about this, is on New Year’s Eve, I once worked this wedding, and everything was going pretty well.

Like, the bride was in good spirits. Everything was fine, and then we’re all lined up to walk down the aisle, and before she goes down the aisle, she starts hysterically crying. And she goes, “I don’t wanna do this. And she was kind of like holding on to, like the table for her dear life.

And her mom, who was at the front of the line about to walk down the aisle, came up to her and was like, “You will do this.” And she put her hand on her back and pushed her forward.

Oh,

Christa: wow. And

Jen: forced her down… I’m like getting choked up. Like, forced her down the aisle as she was like having a panic attack, and like I don’t know if it was a panic attack, if it was nerves, or if she was like, “I had a come to Jesus moment, and I can’t do this,” but the mom like forced her down the aisle, and it was one of the most jarring things I’ve ever seen ’cause, you know, as a parent, if my daughter said, “I don’t wanna do something,” I don’t care if I spent a freaking million dollars on it, I’m gonna grab her and say, “Let’s get the hell out of here.”

Christa: Yeah, or just let’s make it a big party.

Jen: Yeah, like, I hope that’s how I am in, 20-something years, but it was crazy. It was crazy.

Christa: Wow. That’s wild ’cause it makes you wonder, throughout their relationship, if the mom was like, “Oh, it’s fine. Just go,” you know, like, ” Go out with him.”

Mm-hmm. Or- Yeah … “Move in with him.” You know, whatever other things ’cause she would like… ‘ Cause there are certain like family dynamics where the mom is so, eager for the daughter to get married. There’s this like pressure of like, ” Oh, it’s fine. you know what? I married your father before I wanted to marry him- Right

so you should do it too.” Or like, “We all just sucked it up,” you know? And so I’ve known people like this where it’s like they felt pressure from their parents to get married young or to You know, just go through with something because their parents said to, which-

Jen: Yeah …

Christa: you know, blows my mind, but.

Jen: My only advice to anyone out there is, if you are engaged and you’re not sure, it is okay if you go through with it. it is totally okay if you get married and you go through with it. It’s also okay if you decide to call it off. I honestly think you are so brave either way, truly. The one thing I will beg you to do is not sign the marriage license, because then you’re officially married.

And actually, a lot of people don’t sign the marriage license before they get married because nobody would know, and it’s okay to do that. So if you’re having these feelings, just don’t sign the legal document, ’cause then it’s gonna be a lot harder to go your separate ways, and that’s a whole other conversation.

So you know what I would do, is I would delay getting it so that maybe there’s some errors. It’s actually, like, kind of hard to get. There’s a lot of steps. I would kind of put off getting the marriage license till, right before the wedding and then realize you can’t.

 You can do this, by the way, if you have an officiant that’s, a little bit more laid back, and is kind of- Right … getting your vibe. So put off signing the marriage license or, once you get the marriage license if you have it, you can be like, ” I know that we have to sign this, but, like, there’s no rush to sign it on our wedding day.

I wanna do a little bit more research with you after the wedding when we can sit down to make sure that, we know what marriage is gonna change for us and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.” Mm-hmm. Put off signing the marriage document because then it’s easier to cut ties down the road. Or after the wedding if you’re like, “You know, the wedding pressure’s over and I love this person, I feel much better,” then you can sign it.

The wedding can still happen without the marriage being real.

Christa: Right. Yeah, ’cause sometimes, like, the nerves of, the wedding day and stuff can kind of hinder maybe how you’re actually feeling about- The relationship and everything thus far, and with all these other voices coming in, for sure. awesome.

I know we need to get to the story, ’cause I know we’ve got, a cutoff too, and I don’t wanna, take up too much of your time. Oh, no. But where can everyone get your book, Finally the Bride? I know … And it also starts off with a shocking story that I wanna ask you about.

Jen: Mm.

Christa: And this won’t spoil anything.

I don’t … I think it’s on-

Jen: No, yeah, you can yes.

Christa: Where, the psychic told you, you’re never gonna find love. Did you go back to her? I don’t remember if it says.

Jen: You know, I went to the singles party, and the biggest perk of the singles party was getting to meet with the psychic. I’m a sucker for a psychic.

I just paid $200 for a pet psychic for my dog- … to talk to my dog and tell me what she was saying. Biggest waste of money. But I’m, actually going to another pet psychic next week. I am a sucker for psychics.

Christa: Yeah.

Jen: So the singles party has a psychic, and I go, and she sits down, and she’s like, “I have bad news for you.”

And I’m like, “What the hell?” what could she possibly say?

Christa: You’re like, “This is not what I paid for.”

Jen: Yeah. And she’s like, “You’re never gonna find love. Like, you’re gonna be miserable just like me.” And I’m like, “This has to be some type of, like, April Fools’ Day prank.” You’re like, “What are you…” Like, she’s a comedian.

She’s telling everyone here this. And it turns out, I verified with other people, she didn’t. So she basically, looks at me and tells me I’m never gonna find love, and I’m the kinda person that when you tell me I can’t do something, I do it to an extreme. So basically her saying that to me, like, dotted the line to me meeting my now husband, Adam, in a very weird type of way.

So it was kind of a blessing in disguise I didn’t realize at the time. But I never went to her again, but I did email her, and told her that what she told me actually changed my life. Never heard back from her. Yeah. but it was bizarre, ’cause, like- You know, psychics can, will tell you things, but, that was, like, a life-ruining thing that, I could have believed and just given up totally on dating.

Mm. You know?

Christa: Yeah. Yeah. Like, “Oh, I’m just gonna be miserable the rest of my life, wah, wah,” you know?

Jen: Yeah.

Christa: You’re like, “Yeah, no, I’m not going to do that.”

Jen: No. and it kind of, through a series of events that I write about, led me to Adam. But, it was just bizarre to hear that from a psychic. So that’s kind of how I open the book, and it foreshadows the kind of rough journey of me eventually getting married in a way that I never expected.

So, yeah, you can find the book on Amazon. It’s there. It’s on Barnes & Noble online, and, it’s something I’m super proud of because, you know, when you write a book, You don’t really know what it’s gonna be like till it’s all over, and the writing process took me a couple years, and I’m really proud of the book.

Christa: Yeah. And I love that it’s, like, personal stories throughout the years too because, it adds, an extra spin. And your humor in the story is so good too, ’cause it’s, like, witty, and it’s, quick.Yeah, I like, I love your style of writing, so everyone’s gotta check it out for sure, and we-

will link it below as well.

Jen: Thank you.

This Isn’t About The Cowboy Boots

Christa: Yeah. Okay, let’s get to this week’s story submission. And I mean, you know how it goes. You’ve been on here before. So let’s just dive in, see what we got. Okay. It says, “Hi there. My husband and I got married a little over three years ago, and our wedding planning experience was something.

When we first started planning, I asked my sisters-in-law if they would like to be bridesmaids. They both said yes and seemed really excited. But pretty quickly they both started calling my husband complaining about having to wear dresses and cowboy boots, saying they didn’t want to wear either.

Honestly, I wasn’t asking for much. I told them to just wear any dusty blue dress that made them feel pretty, and for shoes I suggested cowboy boots for the look I was going for. Knowing boots can be expensive and that they probably wouldn’t wear them again, I even suggested they check Walmart for cheaper knockoff versions.

Eventually the complaints stopped, so I thought the issue had been resolved. Around that time, I also tried to include my future mother-in-law in the planning. I invited her to go dress shopping with my mom and sister so she could feel included. That turned out to be a mistake. At my appointment, she made multiple inappropriate comments about the dresses, things like how certain styles would be easy or hard for my husband to get me in and out of at the end of the night.”

Jen: Mm.

Christa: That’s where it has crawled into

Jen: my second eye. Gross. Oh my God.

Christa: What?

Jen: Awful.

Christa: Like, why are you saying that?

Jen: Weird. So awful. Yeah, it seems like these three, the sisters, the mom, toxic energy. You know, you can choose who you marry, you can’t really choose their family. And unless it’s so bad, it’s not a reason not to marry that person.

But I’m nervous to see how this ends.

Christa: Yeah. So well. Yeah, that’s not starting too great. after that, I decided to not involve her in any more planning with my side of the family. Yeah, I’d be in the same boat. Yeah. Fast-forward to about six to eight weeks before the wedding, crunch time. On top of everything, my sister was also getting married six weeks before me, so it was a very chaotic time.

Two weeks before my sister’s wedding, my future mother-in-law asked my husband to talk to his dad about contributing money toward the rehearsal dinner. For context, his parents are divorced and neither of them have a lot of extra money. My husband and I had already planned to pay for everything ourselves because we didn’t want to put that stress on them Still my husband spoke to his dad, who said he didn’t have much extra to spare, especially on short notice.

We told him that was completely fine and that we only asked because his mom wanted us to. About a week later, we received a horrible text from my future father-in-law accusing us of lying and trying to use him for money. We were completely blindsided and had no idea what had happened. My husband has always had a strained relationship with his dad, so instead of escalating things, we politely told him that if he truly felt that way about us, it might be best if he didn’t attend the wedding.

Ugh. I don’t get that. So out of nowhere he comes back and says, “You’re lying and trying to use me for money,” even though all we did was ask? But

Jen: I… Do you think the mom said something to him? Like, did she get involved? Mm-hmm. It seems kind of weird that, they asked him this seemingly politely, and I’m sure it was very hard for the dad to say, Hey, I don’t have any extra money right now.”

 that’s a really tough situation. But then it seems like there’s other types of, toxic energy infused in this. So, like, did the mom contact the dad and try to, get them involved, you know?

Christa: Mm-hmm. It seems like there’s more. That was my first thought too- Yeah … that the mom said something like, ” did they ask you for money?

‘Cause they asked me for money, and I think it’s gonna be expensive.” Right. You know, something like that to make

Jen: him feel bad. Something,

Christa: yeah.

Jen: Yeah.

Christa: This seems weird for him just to come out of nowhere. Out of nowhere. Yeah. The very next day, one of my sisters-in-law called and said she didn’t feel comfortable wearing a dress and boots anymore.

She was stepping down as a bridesmaid. I asked if the other sister still wanted to be in the wedding, and she said no. Neither of them wanted to do it.

Jen: Mm. You know what?

Christa: God, two things.

Jen: This isn’t about the dress and the boots.

Christa: Mm-hmm.

Jen: This is not about the dress and the boots. They don’t like you. They don’t like this.

Maybe it’s not even a you problem. Maybe they’ll never like anyone their brother is with, but this is not about the dress and the boots.

Christa: Yeah.

Jen: Mm-mm.

Christa: That’s a very simple task. That’s… No way it’s about that. Nope. There’s something deeper, or the mom is saying something behind her back- Yes.

Jen: Yes …

Christa: which would be very likely.

Jen: Yes.

A Drunk Speech Nobody Asked For

Christa: At that point, there wasn’t much I could do. Thankfully, I was able to find another friend last minute who could step in and get a dress in time. After my sister’s wedding passed, things finally seemed to calm down, and I was able to focus fully on my own wedding. Then came the rehearsal dinner. My future mother-in-law got completely hammered and decided to give a speech It’s so funny.

I, this is not- Mm … not this is funny, but I’ve done multiple, skits now about mothers-in-law giving, a random speech that, like, doesn’t like the bride, and in my mind when I do this I’m like, “This would never happen,” ’cause people would- Then you read it and I’m just like, ” Well, it happens.”

Jen: It’s crazy.

 also, I feel like if you have any type of toxic family member who you know might give a speech that’s unwarranted, you have to assign someone to be on, protective duty. a big thing that I’ll do is, hide the microphones and, make sure that, this doesn’t happen because those people tend to get drunk and then say their words and, ruin everything.

Like, that’s part of their, character archetype and like you gotta stop it.

Christa: Yes. If

Jen: you know this is gonna happen, assign a friend to be, watching them to make sure that they don’t do this, and if they try to do this they just cut them off.

Christa: Uh-huh. Yeah, ’cause a bad speech can ruin a vibe completely.

1,000%. I’m sure you’ve seen it.

Jen: Yes, and, it’s like you would think, how could a person do this? But there’s narcissists and there’s people who make everything about them, so it’s not that far-fetched. it does happen, and it’s so bad and weird. So

Christa: bad. It’s wrong. Oh, my gosh. She says, “The only parts I really remember were her dropping multiple F-bombs and insisting that she was the reason my husband and I met, so we should be thanking her for our relationship.”

Wild.

Jen: You know what? mothers of sons are tough because they always say, a mother of a son, Especially if she has daughters too, like, it’s gonna be so hard to impress her. I feel like the I don’t have a son, so I don’t know, but, like, the mother-son relationship is usually really strong, and then when the son starts to, have someone serious they’re dating, I feel like a lot of the moms are, so protective, and, it’s hard for them to, really like the person at first, you know?

I’ve always just heard that, and I think it’s really hard to, let your son go. Yeah. And this kind of seems like a situation where she’s a toxic person in general, and this woman might be an amazing person. Doesn’t matter what she did or didn’t do, but this mom is just, never going to like her.

Christa: Yeah. I feel like a lot of it stems from insecurity and control. they realize they can’t fully control their son anymore. Yes. And they see he’s with a woman, presumably, you know, who will be his wife, and which is weird to have, like, a competition, but then they have this competition over it. Like, ” Oh, well, I know you better.

Oh, I did this,” and it’s okay, well, you’re two parts of my life, like, different. It’s- I’m choosing … it’s

Jen: so weird.

Christa: Yeah. The stories I get, it’s just, it’s wild.

Jen: Yeah, and there’s really nothing you can do. Like, I remember when I started dating Adam. He was like my first serious boyfriend. I was like… And I’d never met anyone’s parents before.

I was like, I need these people to love me. I need these people to think I am the greatest thing in the whole world. And then you kind of, like, act weird, and you overcompensate, and the vibes are kind of off. And in a situation like this, you’ve tried your hardest, I’m sure. At this point, I would just kind of like, for the rest of your relationship or the next couple years of your relationship, I would just show up but not overcompensate, and ‘ Cause you’re not gonna be able to win this race yourself.

Hopefully, one day she’ll wake up and realize like, oh my God, this is actually the person who’s gonna look after my son and all these things. But you really can’t change her mind till she’s ready for her mind to be changed.

Christa: Mm-hmm, yeah. And I think ultimately the son has to be the one that is a bridge and, keeps those boundaries, stands up for his wife, and, breaks up that communication or, like, makes the communication work.

Because if she’s going direct to the wife or the fiancée and saying all these things, like, the fiancée’s gonna feel, backed into a corner. It’s gonna feel very awkward and uncomfortable. So, like, he needs to be standing up for her and on the same page as her, otherwise… ‘Cause I’ve heard so many stories where, like, they’re like, “Oh, well, it’s my mom.

Well, it’s my mom.” And then they kind of just,Like, okay, well, does he not care about me? Because it’s like, he’s just gonna let his mom walk all over me or treat me this way, and it’s- And all the time

Jen: I know, and this is like one of the biggest fights I feel like Adam and I had when we first started dating was like, if something happened with his parents or like I would be like, “You need to stand up for me to your parents.”

 and he’d be like, “Well, it’s my parents.” I’m like, “I know, but like that whole dynamic of like I know they’re your parents and I love that they’re your parents, but like you also need to have my back, and you need to defend me and stand up for me and stuff like that.” And like that was tough. It was really tough, especially ’cause he’s a mama’s boy, and it was really tough to be like, “Okay, what is this dynamic gonna be?

What’s your role in it?” And- Mm-hmm … it’s awkward. Like, those were some of our early fights that took a long time for us to get on the same page. And even now, how he like approaches things with his parents when it’s about me, he walks a very fine, delicate line. Mm. and I understand that, but it’s a weird dynamic.

Christa: Yeah. it’s definitely interesting. I’ve heard so many stories and it’s like I always refer to her, but Dr. Tracy was on and she has a book called… Actually, I always mess up the name. It’s like Me, You and Your- Husband’s Mother or something like that. I can’t … Now I’m gonna, I’m gonna butcher it.

But, she talks about, like, the four or five types of mothers-in-law, and she’s like, “There’s the controlling one, the-

Jen: Mm-hmm …

Christa: victim.” You know, like, she breaks it up into, like, how they act when, a new person kind of comes into the family. Yes. But she does it in, in a very, like, healthy way of like, “Okay, well, this is why they’re reacting a certain way,” and, I don’t know, talk about the communication gap.

Protective Mom Or Future Problem? 

Jen: I’m just gonna say I’m not above being toxic to whoever my future child’s is with. I’m just gonna say, like, I am absolutely not above this because- … I’m so protective of her now, like, you should see how the claws come out on the freaking playgrounds. if she meets someone and she starts dating them, I am not trying to be their best friend.

I’m trying to be their worst enemy because I want them to know that, I will be watching you, and I will be hurting you if you ever hurt her. And if, God forbid, she tells me somebody she loves does something to her that’s not right, I will show up at their door. Like, I am not above being toxic in these situations, so, if part of-

Christa: Well, I don’t think you’d be toxic.

I think you’d be, like, protective. I think it’s different than toxic.

Jen: Yeah. Like, I

Christa: feel like I’m- Toxic is, like, causing drama for no reason, I would say. I would say.

Jen: Okay. yes, and there might be a little part of me that does a little bit of that ’cause I’m, gonna be, like, also mourning the fact that, she’s gonna be off with somebody else.

these are issues I’m gonna have to get a therapist to work through. Oh, my gosh.

Christa: No.

Jen: But I do think, like, I’m warm and welcoming to most people, but I will not be warm and welcoming to the people she dates.

Christa: See, I have a different approach. I want to be extra warm and welcoming- Mm … because of how I grew up.

I I was never comfortable bringing people I dated over to my house. So I felt like I had to always go somewhere else, and so I want my daughter to be like- Oh, that’s sweet … “Oh, this is the person I’m dating, and, they can come hang out, have dinner here.”

We’re gonna be like those fun parents, but not fun where, like, you can do whatever you want here, but, like- And of course, my daughter’s three. it’s gonna change- … a little bit. But you know what I’m saying. Like, this is, my vibe I want is, I want her to feel comfortable bringing people here, and I wanna be, like, fun.

They can trust me, I can trust them. But yes, if they, if the line gets crossed and my daughter says, “They did this to me,” I will never forget.

Jen: Okay, you know what? Like- Yes … you’re so right. I need to, remember this, ’cause, the key to parenting is that, you want them to come to you to tell you things, and they’re not gonna do that if you’re, acting crazy, and I am a naturally crazy acting person.

So you- Yeah … are so right. I need to sticky note this on my life, because you’re right. I’d rather her have the person here so I can watch very closely- Yes … than her and the person being so scared to come here, ’cause I’m like, “Ah.” So, yes.

Christa: Right, and like, “Oh, let’s just meet over here instead.” And yes, then they’ll come to your house.

Jen: You are 1000% right. That is, the secret of parenting that I need to, get my act together on.

Christa: Yes. For

Jen: sure.

Christa: Again, that’s my idea. it could change in, like, 10, 15 years from now. We’ll see. But-

Jen: No, I don’t think it will. I think, I’m gonna call you in 10 to 15 years and be like, “What is going on?

Are there cameras all around your house?” Like, are we- Like, what is the approach? I, this is the benefit of having a friend with a kid the same age. I’ll be like, “Let’s talk- Yes … about this new problem that we both have.”

Christa: What is going on right now? Yes, how do we handle this? I love it.

Jen: Mm.

Christa: So-

Jen: You’re gonna have to bail me out of jail in 10 to 15 years, okay?

‘Cause I’m gonna be taking a whole other approach. I’m gonna forget about this approach and take the other approach, and it won’t be good.

Christa: Oh my gosh. There’s many approaches.

Jen: Yes.

Christa: okay. It says, “The next day, the wedding day itself, she and my sisters-in-law didn’t even come say hi to me when I was getting ready.

One sister showed up wearing a sweatshirt and sweats, and the other was in leggings and a sweater for the wedding.” Okay, that’s a statement I mean, I don’t know what they normally wear, but anyone knows that you dress up a little bit, for a wedding? I mean, I don’t know what the wedding, where the wedding is, but at least put on, nice jeans.

The fact they’re wearing sweatshirt and sweatpants, that’s like what you wear to bed or lounging around your house or grocery s- shopping. They know

Jen: it. You know what? When you get dressed, you are making a statement with what you’re wearing, so they chose to do this to make a statement. However, they’re hurting themselves more than the person getting married, ’cause yeah, she’s gonna be upset, but like she’s gonna move on.

It’s every other guest that’s gonna be looking at you, talking about you, questioning what’s going on. So it’s like the statement you were trying to make isn’t gonna hit this way. Yep. And instead, it’s like just totally backfiring you. honestly, at this point, just don’t go to the wedding.

Christa: Yeah.

They, yeah, they look ridiculous. It’s the same- Yeah … if someone comes wearing a bridal gown to a wedding, like you look ridiculous. You look like a desperate housewife that, wants attention.

Jen: But it happens so often. I’m like, when you were choosing this outfit to wear today, like what was your purpose?

Because I see that so often. there’s so many weddings I go to where someone’s wearing like a white gown. I’m like, why? Just why? You know?

Christa: Yeah.

Jen: I don’t know.

Christa: it’s very odd. During the reception, my mother-in-law left multiple times to go to the gas station. Then she ended up leaving early altogether to go to a bar with her friends so she wouldn’t have to help clean up the venue.

Now, let’s fast-forward to last year. We had been no contact with my father-in-law since before the wedding, and we eventually found out that my mother-in-law had been struggling with a serious drug problem for 20 years- and had taken money from multiple people. We reached out to my father-in-law to talk through everything, and that’s when we finally learned what happened.

Here we go.

Jen: Mm.

Christa: After my husband had asked him about contributing to the rehearsal dinner, my mother-in-law had gone to him and told him that the cost we gave him was wrong, that it was actually almost double. That’s why he felt like we were lying and tried to take money from him. So there you have it.

First- We were right …

Jen: first of all, the stakes here have completely changed, and my heart goes out to everybody in this situation, including the people getting married and the mom with the drug problem, and it’s awful. This is so freaking awful, and- I just feel really bad for everyone involved in this situation, truly.

You know, when a person has such a severe drug problem, they make bad decisions, and they hurt the people they love. And They can’t see out of it. It’s not so black and white. you can’t just be like, “Why are you doing this? Stop doing this.” they are in completely other worlds.

Christa: Yeah.

Jen: And it’s so awful and hurtful, and I just feel really bad for everybody involved in this situation deeply. Right. And I’m glad they got some closure as to what happened with the dad. It sucks that relationship had to be so messed up because of a lie as well.

Christa: Mm-hmm. Yeah. It makes me wonder about, like, the sisters-in-law, like, why they still acted that way through everything,

Jen: Yeah. You know what? there’s a lot of things happening here, and I think the best thing that the couple can do is distance themselves as much as they’re comfortable, help if they can. But it added such a tough layer to the situation knowing that the mother was sick with this addiction, you know?

It’s just, like, not even just being a toxic person, she’s sick with something, so it’s heartbreaking. Mm. It’s heartbreaking. And, no one wants the happiest time of their life to be ruined by people who should be there for them. It just, it sucks. It truly sucks. Yeah.

Christa: Yeah, definitely. so last- Ugh,

Jen: God

Christa: last paragraph guys.

Jen: There’s more. How is there more? There’s one little paragraph. What else could happen?

Christa: It just says, “We later found out that my mother-in-law hadn’t even paid for the rehearsal dinner at all. It was actually my brother-in-law who had covered it, and he told us he spent almost three times what it actually cost because that’s what she told him it would be.”

So I’m wondering if, the mother-in-law was taking control of it and just told everyone what-

Jen: Yeah …

Christa: was owed, so he ended up giving her way more money. for reference, our rehearsal dinner only cost $1,500. But I guess he paid, 4,500. Is that what that is? Quick math. ” Needless to say, I never thought I’d have the crazy in-laws, but here we are.”

Jen: Yeah. Oof. I hope that the mother has gotten help. I hope that she is doing better. and I hope that maybe there’s a world in which as she gets better, she repairs some of these relationships or at least expresses that she is sorry. And, but it… Yeah, that is awful. Yeah. And not what anyone deserves, so it just truly sucks.

Yeah. And yeah, the sisters are still kind of a question mark in my head. where did you all come into play? But it does sound like it’s coming from the top, and probably the mom influenced them, and who knows what she told them. And-

Christa: Yeah …

Jen: you know, who knows? when you’re an addict, you have all these different things in motion, so, who knows what was said.

And maybe there’s- Right … a world in which this family repairs itself. But, Loaded

Christa: Yeah, I feel like if the father-in-law was so easily convinced by the mother-in-law that she also had said something to the sisters and was like, “Oh, this, you shouldn’t support this wedding,” or you know- Right … something or this was- Something

what the bride said, and yeah, so then they slowly kind of were like, “Well, we don’t want to be a bridesmaid,” or…

Jen: That’s awful. And again, like you can’t choose who you marry, and You choose who you marry. You can’t choose the family. You can just do the best you can with the family, with the most that you’re willing to do.

So the bride, like you entered all of this. You’re probably being so supportive to your husband, who is also dealing with his family. And, I just want you to know my heart goes out to you, and hopefully the next 5 to 10 years of your life don’t repeat what this whole situation was.

Christa: Yes. Yeah. Hopefully, she’s on the road to recovery and-

Jen: Mm-hmm

Christa: you know, repair relationships or at least just like get stronger with your husband and This says a year is still pretty fresh, I feel like. So time to kind of figure out who you want to allow in and how much of them you want to allow, for sure.

Jen: 1,000%. But wow, this one was loaded.

I was like, “Oh, cowboy boots. Okay.” Like, “We’ve got this.” Like, “They don’t want to wear it. Cool.” And then I’m like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.”

Christa: Complete left turn. Yeah.

Jen: For real craziness, but-

Christa: Never know where we’re gonna go- Oh … with these stories.

Jen: No. My heart goes out to them.

Christa: Oh, yes. well, thank you so much for coming on.

I’m glad we were able to reconnect. I know it’s funny ’cause when I was looking at what our last recording was, we were talking about how crazy schedules are and how to reschedule. And I’m like, I’m glad it worked out.

Jen: No, you know what? Like the craziest thing was like I, when I broke my toe in July, which sounds like nothing, but like I, you broke my big toe, which you need for everything.

So like, I just couldn’t do anything, and I still have my three-year-old that I’m with a lot, and it was just like, the life just became so weird for the month of July. I was like so out of it. But I feel like I’m coming back, and August is a new place.

Christa: Yes.

Jen: And I feel like things are getting in motion again.

But yeah, broken toe, three-year-olds, can’t do anything, was tough. But

Christa: we’re good. Oh, my gosh. We’re good. Yes. Life is wild. Well, as always, it’s so good to connect with you, and everyone, check out Jen’s book, Finally the Bride, and thanks for coming on.

Jen: Thank you so much for having me. This was so fun.