Wedding Feuds, Toxic Family Drama, and The Invisible String with Sarah Wizeman

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Ever wondered what happens when your wedding is full of chaos and family feuds?

This week on Here Comes The Drama, the wedding chaos reaches next-level insanity! Christa dives into a jaw-dropping story about no-kids wedding rules, a sister’s outrageous demands, and family drama that almost derailed the big day. Then, Christa and Sarah Wizeman break down the wildest wedding confessions from listeners, from toxic in-laws to surprise pregnancy announcements to overzealous sister-in-laws calling off weddings!

Plus, Sarah shares her incredible journey as an author, her book The Invisible String, and her plans for monthly romance and bridal story releases—complete with skits on TikTok and YouTube. This episode is packed with drama, laughs, and insider wedding chaos you won’t want to miss.

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Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • Sister Drama & Guest List Battles – A no-kids rule sparks chaos when a bride’s sister insists her boyfriend’s daughter be included, leading to ultimatums, family arguments, and threats to skip the wedding entirely.
  • Family Feuds & Step-Family Tension – Mom favoritism and step-family dynamics collide, creating heated conflicts over invitations and long-lasting emotional fallout.
  • Long-Term Grudges & Wedding Fallout – Even small wedding decisions ripple for years—the bride and her sister barely speak, showing how family drama can outlast the celebration.
  • Family Drama & Healing – Sarah opens up about her own wedding, her dad’s no-contact stance, and finding peace with supportive loved ones.
  • The Invisible String Books – Discussion of Sarah’s two books, detailing connections, romance, and how her wedding experiences inspired storytelling.
  • Skits That Educate – How Sarah turns real-life wedding chaos into relatable skits that teach communication and reflection.
  • Wedding Proposal & Pregnancy Drama – Evaluating awkward and potentially disruptive moments at weddings, and how to handle them with grace.
  • Vendor Chaos Stories – Tales of photographers and other vendors nearly derailing weddings, and how couples navigated it.
  • Upcoming Projects & Skits – Sarah teases her monthly book releases, including a Hallmark-style Christmas tree farm story.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  • “People show their true colors in weddings—and it’s wild what comes out when the pressure’s on.” Christa Innis
  • “Sometimes the drama reveals who really has your back—and who doesn’t.” Christa Innis
  • “Watching chaos unfold in real life makes you rethink your own behavior too.” – Christa Innis
  • “I never knew mothers-in-law could try to cancel weddings… until I heard it firsthand.” – Christa Innis
  • “The right skit can turn drama into a lesson everyone remembers.” – Christa Innis
  • “By sharing my story, I realized I’m not alone—and neither is anyone else going through it.” – Sarah Wizeman
  • “Wedding drama forced me to be grateful for the people who really showed up for me.” – Sarah Wizeman
  • “Turning these moments into skits helps others reflect and even heal their own relationships.” – Sarah Wizeman
  • “Communication is always the best. I tried reaching out, even when it didn’t work, because it’s worth it.” – Sarah Wizeman
  • “Even without the perfect wedding, I found the perfect people around me who mattered most.” – Sarah Wizeman

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

About Sarah

Sarah Wizeman is the queen of TikTok wedding stories, from unhinged skits to “did-that-really-happen?” confessionals — and she is truly one of the most personable humans on the internet. She’s also an author (yes, a full-on romantic comedy writer!), and I’ve linked her books below because you’re absolutely going to want more of her after this episode. We had an absolute blast chatting, and she even shared her own jaw-dropping wedding drama that left me stunned — plus we dove into some wild listener submissions that took the chaos to a whole new level.

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Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis:  Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis, and this is gonna be a short introduction because I’m starting to lose my voice. Um, it was a little raspy in the beginning, but I had so much fun talking with my guest today. Sarah Wizeman, she’s all of TikTok sharing different wedding stories, skits, and I just love chatting with her.

She’s so personable and she’s actually an author as well. She wrote a romantic comedy too, in fact. Um, so I have the links to those below, but we just had so much fun chatting and she shares her own wedding drama story that will have you completely shocked, um, in addition to our other wedding story submissions that we read.

So without further ado, please enjoy this very special episode with Sarah Wizeman.

Hi, Sarah.

Sarah Wizeman: Hi Christa.

Christa Innis: Thank you so much for coming on. I know we’ve been like chatting before recording, but I’m just so excited to finally meet you. I think I was telling you, so many people had tagged you in my comment saying, ‘you need to have Sarah Wizeman on the show. I love her stories.’ And so I thought, what better way to connect and have you on?

Sarah Wizeman: Oh my goodness. How exciting. I know I love you and your skits. Oh my gosh. And we are like, so f familiar or similar, with the wedding stuff, so I’m so honored to be on your podcast, so thank you for having me.

Christa Innis:  Of course. No, I, love like watching skits and like, obviously like that’s how I kind of got into it too.

We were just talking about how we love telling stories and. Even before like making skits, like if I was telling someone a story, I was like such a detail person. Or maybe the details didn’t matter, but I’d be like, the sky was blue and that girl was wearing a pink shirt. And then like people would be like, okay, get to the point.

But like, it’s just part of storytelling. I feel like that’s how you are too.

Sarah Wizeman: Yep, exactly. I’m like every, and then there’s this detail, oh wait, I have to back up. And there’s more details that I forgot about. So let me do that real quick.

Christa Innis:  Yeah. Yeah. So how did you start doing this like skit kind of content?

Like how did you start getting into it? What was your first skit, all that good stuff?

Sarah Wizeman: Well, I started off in TikTok, you know, with the TikTok dances and just having fun with that. I was trying to like, leave my job to be like, become a content creator and an author, ’cause I really loved to write and I’ve always loved to write.

And so, February, 2024, I published my first book, the Invisible Spring. and I was trying really hard to promote it and get it out there. It’s about like how my husband and I have always like, been intertwined with each other. So I was like, let’s try to get it out there.

I didn’t do schizo at first. At first, I was just kind of like reading passages from it and doing little bits here and there. And then I started to do a little bit of, Skits, quote unquote, like where I would just kind of like talk back and forth, not really get full on into the acting. And then one day I got kind of overwhelmed with everything and I was also planning my wedding

I decided, to have a child-free wedding. And, we had someone, like talk to us about how they went to a child-free wedding and they said that they had a wonderful time, but she said that, the bride at that wedding was getting a lot of complaints, from people because they were like, I wanna bring my children.

And so I was like. It would be really fun to just like, let loose and do a skit about this. So I did a skit about a child free wedding, and then it like just took off like the drama of it. Like one lady’s like, ‘I’m gonna bring my children anyway.’ Like I threw that in there and then that one just took off and I’m like, okay.

And then I started to do ones with like bridesmaids and like a couple going on their honeymoon and just like big plot twists, like where it was just like, what just happened? And then it just took off from there. And I’ve been doing skits ever since.

Christa Innis:  I love  that. Yeah. I feel like it’s like the skit content is so interesting because like it allows people to like see it from an outside perspective.

And at first I was like, when I did it, I was like, am I creating like more I dunno, anger or whatever. But then like, I’ve gotten so many messages from people being like, no, you’ve helped me like address the situation or you’ve helped me learn how to talk to my mother-in-law. And I’m like, oh, okay.

 I’m glad it’s doing something. But it’s interesting that you say that your first one was about a child free wedding. ’cause I think mine was too, it’s such a controversial topic.

Sarah Wizeman: Yes.

Christa Innis: And I’ve never like understood why people get so up in arms about it, even as a mom of a toddler Now, if my husband and I were get, were to get an invite, I would not be offended.

And if they were like child free, I’d be like, I girl, I get it. It’s fine. I know you don’t want my toddler running around grabbing everything. Things are breakable. I understand. Yes. So I don’t get where people get offended by it.

Sarah Wizeman: I agree. It was more for, like, for me, the reason why I chose a child free wedding was just like the safety of it.

Like we were an outside wedding. There was gonna be like an open bar there too. And I didn’t want like the kids to, get into any trouble per se, I guess. Mm-hmm. and I also wanted, like, my friends always kept saying like, I just need a night off. I just like, would love to just drop my kids off at grandma’s and just go party with you.

And then I was like, is if that’s really what you want.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: I’m that’s exactly what I’ll do.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I feel like that’s the thing too. It’s like knowing your friends and family, like who you’re inviting. Because that was the same for me. Like, I was one of the last ones to have kids out of my friend group.

They all had kids and they I knew they were the kinds that were like, no, we’re getting a babysitter, we’re gonna have grandma and grandpa watch them or whatever that was. that’s how like all of our friends and family did weddings. Like Yeah. We had like immediate. Like nieces and nephews at the wedding or you had like immediate cousins kids at the wedding.

But most weddings I’d been to, it wasn’t just a free for all, like huge families. And that’s, I dunno, here and there maybe, but like for the most part I didn’t see that. So I just was like, for us, we did like nieces and nephews only and so we have seven at the time. I’m trying to think. Yeah, seven nieces and nephews.

And so I invited all of them ‘ cause they were like a part of the wedding and then I left it up to the parents. Like my sister didn’t bring her twins ’cause she was like, it’s just they won’t have fun. They’ll be fine out. But I left it up to, the parents. But other than that I was like, yeah, we’re gonna do 21 and older.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. I think that is like becoming more of a trend lately to do it that way. And also I’ve seen where like the kids are there for the ceremony and then they go home or they, the couple like, has like a babysitter watch them during the reception part of it too. So I see, I see that happening more frequently as well.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I love that idea. I’ve been hearing that more and more about like, venues that have like another room where you can get like a babysitter and put like toys and stuff. Mm-hmm. I think if I knew, um, like, like friends of mine or something, were having a hard time with a babysitter, I think I would, I’ve tried something like that, or if my venue could have done that.

Mm-hmm. But again, it was like, I feel like it’s also like how you, I don’t know how you handled the situation too, because I think a lot of it, and I’m, I’m sure like the skit you did too, it’s like the entitlement of like, well I’m gonna bring my kids anyway ’cause it’s wild. I personally didn’t have to deal with that, but those stories happen all the time where people are like, I don’t care if it says no kids.

This is my child. I’m bringing them. And like, I’d be mortified to bring my child where she doesn’t belong necessarily. Right?

Sarah Wizeman: You are absolutely right. It’s not, it’s not the actual like, no kids’ rule. It’s the entitlement. It’s like these people that think that they can just do whatever they want and not,

Christa Innis: oh, I think I’m losing you.

Sarah Wizeman: You can bring your child if it’s, if it’s, if it’s really that

Christa Innis: important to you. I think I lost you for a second. Oh, I don’t know if it’s my internet. Let me check. It says my Internet’s unstable. I don’t know. Okay. Oh, it seems okay now. It again. I can switch like my hotspot or something. Okay. It’s like written weird, but anyway.

Um, okay, so we were talking about, um, yeah, it’s more of the entitlement, right?  

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. So it’s more of the entitlement. Like if you were to message me and say like, Hey, I really need to bring my infant, like, or I really need to bring my child, um, or else I won’t be able to come, I would probably be that person to be like, okay, like I understand like you have these needs, but like people who just are like.

I’m just gonna show up with my child because I don’t care. I’m gonna do what I want. That’s like, that’s off. I, uh, that bugs me. That grinds my gears.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And I feel like it goes both ways too because, um, I’ve heard of also stories where like, let’s say the bride and groom says child free wedding, and then someone in the wedding or a guest says, well, I can’t make it then, but best wishes.

Like, they’re so respectful about it. And then the bride and groom get mad and I’m like, you can’t get mad if someone can’t still get a babysitter. So that’s also the entitlement of the bride and groom feeling like the world should just, should stop for their wedding day. And it’s like if you can’t get a babysitter and they politely decline, still send a gift or you know, whatever, you need to accept that and that’s gonna be okay.

Sarah Wizeman: Yes, a hundred percent. Like you said, I see it on both sides and the bride and groom have to realize that everybody else has lies. Their wedding isn’t like the center of everyone’s attention,

Christa Innis: so. Yeah, I know. Um, so what do you think like. So you said that kind of blew up that first skit? Yes. So then do you get people sending you in stories or do you kind of just think of things you’ve seen or what kind of has mostly inspired the stories you do?

Sarah Wizeman: Um, so I do get people who do try to message me stories. Um, I’ve done a couple of those, but I don’t do them often. Um, just because, um, just because like I feel like I would really have to like hop on a phone call with them sometimes and like really get like the actual details. ’cause I’m like, I did that one, I did the first one that was sent in to me.

And I’m like, but she didn’t tell me exactly how this happened. How do I interpret this? I hope I don’t interpret it wrong kind of thing.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: Um, so I, so I’ve done that a couple times, but mostly it’s just me, like having inspiration from like, what people have said to me. Um, sometimes I go on Reddit and get ideas from Reddit.

Like I, I’ll take like a Reddit thread. And, um, they’ll, they’ll say like, what happened? And then I’m like, wow, that’s crazy. But like, what could make this even more crazier? Like, what could be even a bigger plot twist than that? So I’ll take like, inspiration from those types of things.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I love that. It’s funny you say that about like, when people send you in stories.  I, there was a wild story one time, I’m trying to think which one it was. I think it was the one where either it was like a surprise wedding for the bride, like the groom and the bride’s mom planned the wedding. Yeah. And she was like, it was like scary, like, honestly, like how weird it went. But all these people are commenting like, there’s no way this happened.

This couldn’t have happened. And someone literally commented like, do you fact check this? And I’m like, what do you want me, how do you want me to fact check? Do you want me to call all their family members? And I was like, I was like, you can take everything I feel like on the internet with a grain of assault.

Right? So like, I get a, I get a story sent to me and I always say. Like, either I come up with it myself or it’s inspired by a story. Mm-hmm. And I’m like, I’ll just take parts of it and I mix it all up. You know, I put it in a B blender and I mix it. ’cause I’m like, I only get part of the story. And even if I get a really detailed story, I’m only getting it for one perspective.

Um, yes. As I don’t agree with the person that send it to me either, which is really awkward.

Sarah Wizeman: That that’s, that’s very awkward.

Christa Innis:  I know what you mean though, because I’m like, yeah, because a, a couple of podcast episodes actually, um, we’ll see when we get to ours, but I’ve read the story with the person and we’re both like, oh no, this, this person’s like in the wrong.

Sarah Wizeman: Oh no. Yeah.

Christa Innis: And then you have to kind of figure out how to like, twist it and show like both sides and Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, no, I, yep. That’s kind of also one of the reasons why I don’t do a lot of people who send me stories, um, is because like if I do end up changing it and like it offends them because I don’t agree with it, then I don’t even wanna get into like that or like, you know, like offending them in any way I guess.

So yeah, I was just.

Christa Innis: This is unbiased. I’m just taking what I can see. Yes, exactly. Like around like if a bride sent it to me, I might make it from the groom’s perspective and mix. Oh yeah.

Stepmother Sabotage, Wedding Day Chaos, and Family Loyalty

Um, okay. Do you have any wild stories of your own? Like either something you’ve seen or heard or something that maybe you’ve made into a skit? I don’t know, but yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: Um, yes, I have my own story that is based on my own wedding. Um. And it’s a little bit of a long one, but basically, um, what happened was my dad didn’t show up to my wedding. Okay. Yeah. So, um, we’ll go back to when I got engaged. Um, so, um, I got engaged in August of 2023, and then right after that my father announced to us that he, um, uh, was diagnosed with cancer.

Christa Innis: Okay.

Sarah Wizeman: And, um, at that point, uh, he announced that in October, I’m, I think it was so August? Yeah, it was a co it was like a month after month and a half after. So in October he announced by this time, um, I had been with my fiance for a long period of time before that, so we kind of already had like what we wanted to do with a wedding.

So our plan was to go on a destination wedding, like a cruise wedding to Bermuda. Like, we had our heart set on it. All of our friends were on board. Um, and so we sent out the invitations. He got diagnosed. Um, he was, he was still excited about it. Um, he was a little nervous ’cause he doesn’t like to travel very much, but he was still excited.

Uh, one day I get to the, um, to their house and, um, we previously had a cruise plan, but we had to cancel it because my dad’s job and, um, my stepmom, uh, we’ll call her El, um, she commented to me, she’s like, oh, you’re going to Bermuda for your wedding. I really wish we could go back to Alaska. Um, like the other cruise was planned for. And I was like, oh, um, yeah, but this is what, uh, Bernard, uh, my fiance, well now my husband and I really want. And, um, and then that was just, I like, kept that in my mind. I’m like, oh, that’s weird.

A couple months go by. We needed to finalize the bookings for the cruise. And all of a sudden my dad calls me up and says that he’s not going to be able to make it to the wedding.

And I’m like, I need my dad there for my wedding. I need my father to walk me down the aisle. Yeah. And um, so my husband or my fiance at the time, husband now, I’ll just call him my husband from now on out. Yeah. But, um, he and I decided we were gonna cancel the cruise and we were gonna do an at-home wedding and we were gonna use the cruise as like our, um, honeymoon.

Christa Innis: Yeah. So when your dad first said, I’m not gonna the wedding, what was his reasoning? Was it ’cause of the cancer? Was this like he just didn’t wanna trouble or what?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, at first he said like, you know, um, I, this cancer is taking a lot outta me. I don’t know what’s gonna happen, but I can’t travel ’cause of my immune system. That’s why I was like, we need to cancel it. It’s not my dad’s fault that he can’t make it. You know, I, I want my dad there. Mm-hmm. And so, um, we canceled it and we began planning, um, back home.

Uh, fast forward to like, a couple months before my wedding, so this was May of 2024. And my stepmom, my dad and I and my sister were out for ice cream to celebrate my birthday. And she, my stepmother stands up and is like, I have an announcement to make, or we have an announcement to make and we’re like, oh, what’s going on? We’re going on a cruise.

Christa Innis: Stop it.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. I’m my sister. Immediately, sna like, breaks her neck, looks at me and is like. What, like, like looking at me to make sure I’m okay.

I held my composure and I just like nodded and I was like, oh, hmm. And like they explained what the cruise was about. My dad was like looking down the entire time like he knew not even like, wanting to talk. Yeah.

Christa Innis: He knew she must stop.

Sarah Wizeman: So I just like that really hurt. I let it go.

Christa Innis: Other things started. Sorry to cut in, do you?

No, that’s okay. Think, um, when she made that like kind of snide comment about I wish we were gonna Alaska, they went home that night and she’s like, I can’t believe they’re going on a cruise. We need to go on our cruise first. Or like, made some kind of comment.

Sarah Wizeman: Um, she probably could have, I’m not gonna say like, I definitely think she did that or what, but she is the type of person, she’s the type of person to do that, unfortunately. Which it’s really sad, but Yes. Went along. So, yeah, my dad does not have a backbone around her at all. Like, oh, and when he and her got married, uh, there was some issues way back then. There was some issues with us too. We like, kind of fell, fell, fell back, um, because he married her so fast, like within two months of knowing each other.

Oh, wow.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. That’s a whole another story.

Oh, girl. Wow.

Sarah Wizeman: Okay. Yeah. So, um, there were some issues with that. And so, um, like during that time, I was young at that time I was in my early twenties. Maybe I was even 19 at the time, but I was like, I’m not gonna deal with this. And I moved out and, um. Over the years, we got our relationship back and going again.

And, um, I started to have more of a better relationship with Elle, my stepmom and feeling that, um, and then it came to my wedding and then this stuff started happening. And so yes, it does make me question whether or not she would, she would do something like that. She is very capable of doing that.

Christa Innis: And when was their crew supposed to be scheduled?

Sarah Wizeman: like, yeah, like later. Like around the same time or like a little bit later than our maybe. Oh, ours was in, uh, like late September, early October. I wanna say it was like around then or like November. Okay. So it was around the same time.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Did you take everything in you in that moment to not say something?

Sarah Wizeman: Oh yeah. And I’m like. I like, couldn’t process it at that time. Like when she told me. ’cause I’m like thinking like, what’s the next, like what’s the, um, like what’s the big announcement? Because she just before that said that she had like a little announcement and she said that she got a new job when we were at the ice cream place.

And then, um, it was actually, um, at that time where my sister said something like, oh, hey Sarah, just, um, like her skits are doing really great on TikTok. She has like 50,000 followers. And like my dad was like, what? Like, that’s crazy. And then that’s when she was like, I have an announcement to make. And she like, cut in.

And so

Christa Innis:  You have your moment?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Like she’s the type of person that just needs like the attention on her all the time. It’s, it’s very frustrating. Um, like to skip forward a little bit. Like other things started happening after that. Like my dad was retiring from his job. They hosted like a surprise retirement party.

He got wind that I was gonna be there, and that caused a huge, a huge argument because he’s like, L wasn’t invited and you are, do you know how that would make it look? I’m like, dad, I’m your biological daughter. And like, I’m like, and it was a retirement party. He and uninvited me from his retirement party. Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis:  So is he hosting it or is it his work hosting it?

Sarah Wizeman: It’s at his work. So he was like, um, he like worked for, um, like a big highway department. Um, like, you know, they paved roads and stuff and so they always like threw retirement parties there and they invited the family. And, um, we found out later what actually happened.

We found out that, um, Elle was invited, but she didn’t wanna go because she had, um, my, with my dad’s secretary, um, she worked with her previously and, um, they did not get along, so, oh, I wonder why.

Christa Innis: Yeah,

Sarah Wizeman: So she  didn’t wanna go.She was mad.

Christa Innis: So she didn’t want to go. She wasn’t invited, didn’t want to go.

And because of that, they didn’t want you guys going either.

Sarah Wizeman: Right. My dad was like, I can’t let you go because it’ll look bad. And I’m like, how is it gonna look bad? I’m not like another woman. I’m your daughter. Like, you know, like, I’m not the other woman or something like that. I’m your daughter. So, yeah, so, so this all happened, so that happened a month, uh, almost two months before my wedding.

And so I. I’m like, you know, like I always usually let things side, but that really hurt. So me and him had a talk. I called him up two days after that happened and I was like, now that you’ve had time to process everything, like what you did was wrong, that was wrong. I told him like how I felt and then that’s when I brought up like wedding stuff.

Like she’s acting this way, dad, is she not gonna let you take pictures with me? Because she’s not in them like, what’s gonna happen at the wedding? I started to bring that up and he’s like, it should be fine, and all this other stuff. I’m like, it should be fine. No, it’s going to be fine, because nothing is maliciously like happening here.

I don’t have malicious intent. I’m not trying to cut her out. Meanwhile, I invited all of her friends to come to the wedding because she is so like, jealous of my mom. And by the way, my mom is, um, has dementia and doesn’t even like know what day it is. Like, so she’s, she, her personality is there, but like she doesn’t have the mental capacity to understand like really like what is going on.

So she would never try to make anybody feel uncomfortable. Yeah. She just like cracks jokes and stuff ’cause you know, of the dementia. So, but my, but my stepmom still has, um, a lot of like, jealousy towards, um, towards my mother and other people.

Christa Innis: Wow.

Sarah Wizeman: So like, that’s why I got into it with him. ’cause I was like, if this is gonna happen at my wedding, like we need to like nip this in the bud right away.

Yeah. So, he, so we, we were good. Like my, my rest of my family, his own brothers were like, I can’t believe he uninvited you. Like, this is crazy. Um, so fast forward to the rehearsal dinner. Um, I hadn’t really heard much from Elle or my dad, um, before then. I did text Elle like a couple weeks before the wedding asking her what song she wanted to like walk out to.

And um, she like, you’re gonna never walk down in part of the ceremony or like, um, like, um, in the reception when they’re like, and the father of the bride and the stepmother, like, I asked, I wanted to include her. I wanted her to like, um, pick the song and like, I wanted her to be included in that process.

So, um, she picked her song and then fast forward to the rehearsal, um, I’m setting up. Everything’s, everything’s like chaotic. My dad and El get there. I asked him to bring the generator like a couple days before and, um, I, I forgot this part, but on the phone when I asked him that, he like, forgot that my wedding was that weekend.

Christa Innis: Yeah, like for what?

Sarah Wizeman: Uh, like I was like, can I borrow the generator? Um, because I need it to power. Um, I think it was like the DJ booth or something. And, uh, he was like, oh yeah, I’m not, I’m not busy this weekend. I can get it over to you. And I’m like, of course you’re not busy this weekend. It’s my wedding.

He’s like, oh, oh yeah. And I’m like, okay. That was weird. Um, so that happened. Then the rehearsal, he comes in with the generator with Elle. I’m like, hi dad. Hi Elle. They like, are stone cold, like don’t even move a muscle in their face. And they’re just like this the whole time.

Christa Innis: Okay.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Like just mad, just like something, I don’t know.

At that point I didn’t know. And so I’m like, oh, thank you for bringing the generator. Um, can you put it over there? And then they walked away and then like people could tell that what happened. And so they came up to me and they’re like, are you okay? Like, what just happened there? And I’m like, I don’t know.

I don’t have time to deal with that right now. I have so many things to set up. So, um, I, I set up stuff. Um, things are, um, like we eat and then we decide to do the actual rehearsal. ’cause we, we rented like a property from our friends, like overlooking a lake. So like, we just had our own timeline. So we just like set up a tent.

We had like dinner and then we did like whatever the rehearsal. So we’re getting ready to go, like walk down the aisle and practice all of that. And, um, I’m like ready to start walking down the aisle and then all of a sudden I’m like looking and my dad’s like nowhere to be found. And then I like turn and look and he’s way back there, like across like the tent. He’s just sitting with Elle by themselves. And I’m like, are you gonna walk me down the aisle? And he like, was like, yeah, yeah. And he like runs up, walks me down the aisle and then we practice it again. Um, he’s like very hesitant to come stand next to me. And when I asked him to stand like near like the rest of the bridal party, my mom was there as well.

He like said no and like ran back down the other end of the aisle to stand next to Elle.

Christa Innis: So like he’s scared of being like within six inches of your mom?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. Right. So, um, so it sounds like him and Ella been married for a while or together for a while now at this point. Yeah. So it’s not like, it’s like some new like fling and your mom and him, like just, you know, like, why can’t you just be like adults?

Sarah Wizeman: Right. Exactly. Right. Yeah. No, they were married for, at this point, 12 years. So they had, yeah, plenty of, I don’t know, plenty of time together. Yeah. I’m just, yeah, it just, every time I, like, every time I tell this story, I’m just like, yeah, I know. I’m like, yeah, I know. It’s cool. Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. Um, but um, so that happens.

I finally like, um, we wrap it up. And, um, I’m just like overwhelmed by like, what’s going on? I’m like, I don’t feel good about this. Like, I don’t feel good. My dad, like the photographer was there ’cause she wanted to practice and she came up to me and she’s like, just to let you know, you like, you need to work on your smile, like to walk down the aisle.

’cause look at these photos, you look miserable. And my dad’s in the photo and he’s like, like, so like not enjoying his time. And I’m like, oh my gosh, you’re so right. Um, so I start packing things up, um, l and my dad LB lines it to the car. My dad comes up to me and he’s like, ‘when is l supposed to be walking down the aisle?’

And I’m like, uh, she’s not dad. We just practiced it. If she was walking down the aisle, we would’ve practiced her walking down the aisle.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: And he’s like. Oh, well, um, I thought she would be walking down the aisle or something to that effect. And before I could answer, my uncle, his own brother came up and my dad turned and saw him, and then he was like, well, anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow.

And then he like, oh, before I did that, I gave him a gift. Like I was like, this is for Elle and this is for you. I just got like a little plaque for her that said thank you for being my stepmom. And for him I like had like a little t-shirt made that said Father of the bride, and I gave them, or I gave him the gift to give to her in the car.

And then my uncle comes up and then he walks away. And then…

Christa Innis: Say the same thing in front of his brother?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Weird.

Sarah Wizeman: And my uncle, whose name’s Matt, he came up to me and he’s like. Did I hear that correctly? And I was like, what? That L’s supposed to be walking down the aisle? And he’s like, yeah. And I was like, yep, you sure did.

And he’s like, that’s a bit ridiculous. And I’m like, I know. And then, um, and he’s like, you gave her a gift and she didn’t even come up to you and accept it herself? And I was like, yeah, I guess you’re right about that. Like, you know, I’m like, I’m, I’m like my mind’s a million times right now. Like everything I have to still do for the wedding, this happening.

Like all of like, what’s like going off, so.

Christa Innis:  Okay. So, yeah. So what wedding do you go to where the stepmom, let alone, even like, the moms don’t typically walk down the aisle, so why get so up in arms, like offended by that?

Sarah Wizeman: That’s Yeah, I know. It’s, it, it was mind blowing to me. Like, I’m like, what? So, um, so yeah, so fast forward to that night.

We get back, we stayed at a, like a lake house to get ready. Um, so we spent the night there. Me and my bridesmaids, my bridesmaids all had like an intervention with me that night. They like, were like, Sarah, you need to stand up for yourself. Like, you need to stop just like letting things go. Tomorrow is your wedding day.

Do you wanna be miserable walking down the aisle? And I was like, no. And he’s, and they were all like, it’s so unacceptable the way your dad and Al treated you tonight. Like, um, like, it’s not you. It’s them. Like, they were like trying to convince me that I wasn’t crazy. And I was like, yeah, yeah, I know. So, um, we made the decision together to not have my dad walk me down the aisle and I was gonna have my Uncle Matt walk me down the aisle.

Okay. Um, and my uncle Matt has been there for me. Like, he’s like my dad. Like he, my, I wish my dad was like Uncle Matt. Mm-hmm. He doesn’t have any kids of his own. And him and I have like this bond that has just been like so strong since I was born. And so he’s like the ones that, he was the one when like, my dad wouldn’t be able to show up to my sporting events.

Like, he was always there. Um, I owned a food truck for like five years and he showed up to every single food truck event that I did. Um, so he was, he’s really like, you know, the best person ever. Yeah. And we almost lost him to COVID a couple years before and I didn’t think that he was gonna make it. And so I was like.

You know what? He’s here, he is like a miracle. And you know what? I’m gonna have him walk me down the aisle because I think that’s like what, like what is like, like what God is telling me to do at this point. Like mm-hmm. I think this is like what fate is, like this is fate. Mm-hmm. So the next morning, um, we have to go and quickly set up like the little place cards and stuff.

And my bridesmaid, um, her name in my book about this is Taylor, but she’s my best friend and she, her name’s Amanda. She, um, I. She absolutely was like, I will talk to, or I will send a text message to your dad so you don’t have to worry about it. Whoa. Yeah. So she writes, she writes up a text message, um, and then she’s like, does this sound good?

And I was like, yeah. So she basically said like, Hey, she pretended to be me in the text message. She was like, Hey, um, I just wanna let you know I love you, dad. This is like nothing personal against you. I love you so much. But, um, unfortunately with everything that happened yesterday, I’ve decided to, um, make the decision to have Uncle Matt walk me down the aisle.

Um, I just, I forget what exactly else was in that note or in that message, but basically it was like, I love you and, um, I still want you there, and, uh, I just am doing this so that I can have a great day tomorrow. So she crafts up that message and we send it to together. And then I’m in the chair getting my hair done and my dad calls me and he is calling me.

Or he, he, he or I say hello. And he’s like, what do you mean? And I’m like, yeah, dad. I just, what happened yesterday? Like I can’t, I can’t be in that same mindset for my wedding. This is supposed to be the best day of my life. And that definitely didn’t feel like it yesterday. And so he just went off. He was like, well, the reason that I was me and Elle were like that yesterday is because we found out that you and your sister hate Elle.

And I was like, what? What? And then lo and behold, um, her biological daughter, Elle’s biological daughter, who was my stepsister, um, she. Got into, um, an argument with Elle and she told Elle that she’s self-centered, always has to have the attention on her. She like, basically like called her out on everything and then said, everybody wants your toxic behavior to change, including Sarah and Katie, who’s my sister, my biological sister.

And so they heard that and they like took it to the next level and said like, oh, you hate, like, you guys hate. 

Christa Innis: That’s so well ’cause it’s like if someone, if someone heard that like out of nowhere mm-hmm. Don’t you think they’d be like, be like, I need to talk to them, or like, I need to like look forward or something.

Not like, be like, well we heard you hate her, so we’re just not gonna show up and we’re gonna glare at you the whole time. Like Right. It seems so like juvenile to me, right?

Sarah Wizeman: Yes. Yes. And, um, at, at that point. I, I realized when they said that, I’m like, that’s why the last couple of months have been weird. And also they have like barely reached out to me.

So I’m like, oh, okay. Um, so then the whole phone call is just him yelling at me and him like bringing up like everything from the past, like, just like saying like basically how much of a bad person I am. It was just, that was so, that was crazy. Wow. Yeah. And just like listening to my dad, like taking stories out of hindsight and then like reversing them and basically creating lies.

It was just, that was like sitting there on your wedding day, like listening to this. My like, bridesmaids were all in front of me with me on speaker phone talking to ’em and they were like, like that. Oh. And then, um, Elle gets on her phone,

Christa Innis: She probably has on her phone. She gets on the phone?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Yeah. She gets on the phone ’cause he’s like, I think you should talk to her. And then…

Christa Innis: On your wedding day?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, this is me. I’m getting my hair done. The poor hairstylist is in the back. Like, like trying to play, like trying to be cool. I like had to apologize to her a million times. I felt so bad. I’m like, oh my gosh. Um, and so Elle gets on the phone and she starts yelling at me and, and saying like, oh, I heard what I heard.

And then I’m like, okay, uh, it’s not true. Like, I’ve never said that I hated you. You and I both know we’ve had our difficulties in the past, meaning like when they first got married and I like moved out ’cause I couldn’t deal with it. Um, you know, and I, you and I both had our difficulties in the past, but I thought like, we like resolved that kind of thing.

And so, um, so yeah, I just, I kind of told her that and then she like went off on me some more and then my bridesmaid, Amanda came up. And was like, Sarah, you are not dealing with this anymore on your wedding day. And she grabs the phone from me and she goes in the other room and she says, you can hear her saying Elle, hello, Elle.

And Elle’s still talking like she can’t hear.

Christa Innis: So she’s just going off.

Sarah Wizeman: She’s just going off. Yeah. And she finally, you hear Amanda go up and then like silence. And then she’s like, Sarah’s gonna walk down the aisle with Matt. If you have a problem with it, then too bad you can show up or don’t show up. I don’t care.

And then like you hear Elle hang up and then Oh, and then you hear, you hear Amanda just like, that’s right bitch. And then she’s like, and she’s like, um, she’s so funny. She’s just like, yeah, and that’s what I thought or whatever. And then I’m sitting there like shaking. ’cause I’m like, what just happened?

And so, um, all of my sister’s crying. All of my bridesmaids are like, like, I’m like, so feeling so bad for my bridesmaids too. ’cause I’m like, they, they could probably come from normal families. Like, you know, they’ve never seen this, like in my mind at that time. I’m like, oh my gosh. So, um. He ended up not showing up.

He texted him and my, uh, husband Bernard are, were very close. Like, um, he, they would do stuff together all the time. And he texted Bernard before our wedding and said, Hey, I’m sorry I can’t make it. And Bernard thought it was a joke. So like, when we’re doing our first look, but.

Christa Innis:  He doesn’t know what’s going on.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. He doesn’t know what’s going on. Oh my. And so Bernard is like, I got like, your dad is like really bad at dad jokes. Like, and I’m like, oh no, that’s not a joke. And then he was like, what? And I’m like, yeah. He’s not coming. He’s, he’s not coming. And, um, he didn’t show up. And, um, none of her, like friends, like I had a whole table not show up because all of, she like told all of her friends not to show up to the wedding.

Her friend, her best friend’s son was our dj. Um, and he showed up. But, but because he knows l and he came up to me and he is like, I’m really sorry what you went through. My mom told me what happened. And um, she told me a little, he, she’s, he’s like telling the story of way that she heard it, which was not accurate, but he’s like, I know that that wasn’t it.

’cause uh, he’s like, Elle did the same thing at my wedding. Like he was, he, he told me that like. He like, or she, um, I guess like yelled at his wife at the wedding or something. I don’t know. But like at the time I was like, what? Like, I’m like sitting there at dinner when the DJ comes up to me and I’m like, she did what?

So it kind of made me feel better though. ’cause I was like, oh my gosh, at least I’m not the only one, like who like know, like that sees her side like her true side. Because for a while, um, I would like my whole family, like my sister and my uncles and I were not separated, but like I would be on like my dad and Elle’s like side side.

I don’t wanna say like that, but like, basically I would go over there for holidays and then I would show up later to the rest of the family’s holiday. ’cause they didn’t have holidays together ’cause they didn’t get along. And so I’m, I’m like, was like the middle ground and like they were trying to tell me like all the things that like weren’t acceptable by my dad and Elle.

And then finally like, I was like, you know what? I see what they’re saying now. I see what’s going on. This is very toxic behavior. And after that I realized that like, that’s very narcissistic. I didn’t really know narcissist, like I’ve heard the term narcissist before and I’ve like seen like in like relationships, like where the guy is like a narcissist to the girl, like girlfriend.

But I’ve never seen it like parent, like parent wise. And I am like, oh, well, nope, you’re, that’s it. You know?

Christa Innis: Yeah. And the fact that she instantly made it like victim mode where like you said, you don’t like me, so you’re terrible. Not like. Not understanding that like maybe someone doesn’t like you because of how you treat them.

Yes. Like she can’t look inward to be like, how have I treated ’em? Yes. And then for your dad to just go along with it and just be like, well, she said so I’m just gonna go with her. It’s like, this is your daughter and your daughter’s wedding. Like

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Yeah. I know. And he, I am convinced, he’s like brainwashed, I guess is the best word for it.

Um. I mean, like he, my, my husband always says too, like, he’s the one that has to live with her every day. And unfortunately, he’s probably picking his battles. Like, is he gonna go against his wife that he has to deal with every day? Who knows like, what she’s capable of? Yeah. Or is he gonna like side with his daughter who like, doesn’t see him like that often, you know?

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Sarah Wizeman: And so it’s really sad to say it like that, but he like had a point. I was like, yeah, that’s, that’s true. I guess, but not, yeah, it’s not either way. Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: It’s not great. It’s not okay either way. It’s right. I feel like it’s like, on the outside, it’s, it’s easier for, not easy, but like for us to look at it and be like, all right, I guess, you know, like that’s the situation, but, like if my, you know, partner was telling me, uh. That about my daughter or like, you know, I’d be like, excuse me. You know? Yeah. Like, um, yeah, I don’t know. I always, I always wonder about stories like that because I’m like, I’m like, it breaks my heart when you, when they like get, like you said, brainwashed by someone and it’s like, what does she have that’s so great that like, you can’t see like everybody else in front of you saying she’s the, she’s the problem over here.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, exactly. I, I really don’t know what it is other than the fact that like, when they first got together, like when my dad and her first got together, things were a little rough because like, my dad was actually in the middle of dating someone who had cancer and like, he didn’t want to like, she was like stage four and like he, like, he didn’t want to like.

I guess he was like a coward in that way. Like he didn’t wanna break it off with her. It’s like there’s so many, like there’s so many little stories to that that’s like a whole nother like hour. But basically like, I guess Elle had trust issues coming into that relationship because they got married so fast and she didn’t realize like everything that was going on.

And so like what I think is happening is that like he married her legally and like realized how like kind of crazy she is. And um, possibly like is scared that like she’ll take everything from him if he like divorces her and stuff like that. I’ve like thought about that. Like me and my uncles talk about like things like that, but I don’t know. I really, I don’t know why my dad, why my dad is like that at all.

Healing, Family Drama, and Finding Connection Through Storytelling

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. I guess we never really fully know or always know the full story, but Yeah. Wow. So that kind of inspired your first book or not inspired, that’s partially in your book, “invisible string?”

Sarah Wizeman: So I have two, so there’s two parts to it.

So this one that I showed earlier is my first book. This is the one like about like how my husband and I met each other and how like we’ve always been connected since we were little and we didn’t know it. Um, so this is more of like a feel good book. The second book I don’t have in here, but um, it’s the invisible string too, and that’s where like all the drama happens with my wedding.

So and this book and this book, I start, um, it’s like my journal entries and I start talking about wedding planning in this book and then it carries on to the second book where my actual wedding happens. And it’s like all the drama from that. So you can see like into my mind, my journal entries are in there of like when it happened and um, yeah.

And unfortunately my dad still hasn’t. Talk to like any of us. Like he cut off contact with me. My sister, um, my uncles, he cut off like everybody. And I’ve wrote him letters. I’ve, I’ve done a lot of healing. I’ve like debated the no contact thing for a while. And then, um, and then I, uh, decided, you know what?

I, I think talking is always the best. Communication’s, always the best communication is key. We wouldn’t be here, we wouldn’t be in this predicament if they just communicated with me and asked me like, did you say that? Or like, whatever.

Christa Innis: Right?

Sarah Wizeman: So I was like, you know what, I’m gonna do that. She wrote a letter, didn’t hear back, have called him, hasn’t haven’t heard back.

And so, yeah, I’m just like kind of on my own healing journey. I’ve been, I’ve been really in my healing journey this past year, but now it’s like getting to the point where it’s like, all right, you know. I’m, I’m good. I’m, I’m, I’m, I’m good now. Like I am, you know what, I’m no contact from his side, I guess. And, you know, it’s, he, it’s his loss at this point.

Christa Innis: You know?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah.

Christa Innis: So true. And it’s like, and it sounds like at least you have, um, like your son, like your uncle Matt and your sister and you know, and you, people around you that support you and love you and, and not saying any of that’s gonna fill a void or whatever, but I’m sure it’s like helping with the peace of like, okay, I have Uncle Matt who’s been a father figure my whole life.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah.

Christa Innis: And it really is your, your dad’s loss because that’s just, it’s disappointing on so many levels that someone can be brainwashed so easily and forget their family like that.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Yeah. And what is really like a positive experience out of this is that by sharing my story, and I did a whole skit on my book, I turned both of my books into skits, like long form skits.

Um. What’s really positive about it is like how many other people who like, have gone through the same thing and they are like, you really, you know, made light of something that I didn’t even know that was like, that was like an option that I could like do. Or, you know, like they didn’t feel alone. I keep getting messages like that.

I don’t feel alone in this. Like, I thought I was going crazy, but I’m not the only one. And it’s really nice to hear those messages that, you know, like my books have helped people and, and like they can relate to them. ’cause it makes me feel less alone too. Like, oh my gosh, I’m not the only one that goes through like tr like this traumatic stuff.

Like, especially during we, uh, like a wedding, you know, it’s, yeah. You know, it’s like, like I was like, the wedding for me was like such a big deal. Like I was so excited to plan my wedding and then like all of this happened and I, it was just like, it was like, okay, it was like kind of a wake up call for me.

’cause I was like, maybe I put too much like, um, what’s the word? Like expectations? Yeah. Yeah. On like, my wedding and like maybe that like, it allowed me to be grateful to be in like, the present moment and to really value like my actual friendships and the relationships that I did have. Like my, my bridesmaids who came to bat for me.

They were all there for me. Like, I may not have had a dad walk me down the aisle, but I had my uncle Matt and my girl show up for me. And that like, really like made me realize how grateful, um, I should be like for all of them and how thankful I am for all of them.

Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s like, I feel like we hear a lot of times like in these big events that, you know.

People show their true colors, right? And so, like, people that are jealous of you or people that have animosity towards you, it will show in these toxic, in these like 10 high tension moments, right? Mm-hmm. And so with them, yeah, it showed, it really showed, and they could not handle it. Mm-hmm. But everyone else, we don’t talk about enough about like, or it shows that it lifts people up and it shows like the positive people in your, and influences your life as well.

So I feel like, um, that’s something we were saying too before recording, is I feel like these stories allow people to connect and also like learn from them or mm-hmm. Um, see it from a different perspective. Like maybe, maybe the dad, a dad. And another story is watching your story and being like, oh my gosh, I was an idiot.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. I’m gonna go talk to my daughter. You know? So I, I was too, because I’ve had moms message me like, um, like mom’s, I should say. Like, that would be like my, my parents’ age. Um, grandmother’s. They’ll message me and they’ll be like, when I first saw your content, like some of it, like, not offended them, but they’d be like, oh, it made me like think a little bit.

And they’re like, but I’ve learned so much about like how to like communicate with my adult children and how to do this differently and how when I’m overstepping. And so like, like I’ve got like a heartfelt message that was like, thank you for that. And I was like, I never even realized that. So you could think maybe I’m helping another woman in this situation.

Or maybe like someone else is watching, being like, oh my gosh, I’m, I’m not gonna be the toxic stepmother. I wanna be more encouraging. You know? So yes, there’s a lot that could come from it.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. That is so true. I actually never thought of it that way. Like I never thought about that part of like someone who is like maybe the toxic mother-in-law or the toxic father or the bridezilla, like watching our skits and being like.

I just did that and maybe I need to change, like you’re totally right and I hope that that does happen. I would love to, I would love to hear stories like that actually, like where they’re like, oh, I realized that this happened and it made me be a better person.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I think so. Because I think it’s like, think about like when things happen in real life, you know, it’s so much more like nuanced, but you see something on tv.

Mm-hmm. And you’re like, oh my God, that’s outrageous. I would never do that. But then you like kind of like you can be like, oh, but you kinda like relate it to your own life. So I feel like if we’re able to like see it play out in a different way, we’re like, wait. Yeah. Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: Right. Yeah, I know. And I feel like.

I know like when you do your skits and when I do my skits, we like very, are like, we’re very much like with, very detailed with the dialogue and so like I feel I’ve gotten that comment before where people are like, oh my gosh, my mother-in-law or whoever has said like the same exact thing to me or something like that.

So it’s, it’s cool to like flip that around and being like, I wonder if people who are in those positions. Hear what we say in our skits and think I just said that exact same sentence, maybe I need to change kind of thing. So yeah, like, oh,

Christa Innis:  I didn’t realize that was so toxic to say.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah,

Christa Innis: Yeah.

I think there’s a lot of learning that comes out of the skits, like, oh yeah, for sure. Yeah. Oh yeah. I, I think so too. Thanks for sharing that. I know that was like, I’m sure that’s like a lot to like go through and retell, but I think that’s awesome. Yeah. Send me the links to your books too. We’ll talk about it after, but like, and we’ll, we’ll put the links to your books in the show notes.

Okay. Because I feel like, I feel like people, like listeners would love your book as well, because like, they love, like the, they love the romantic stories. They love like the drama. They love a good mix. So definitely share those with me. We’ll put them.

Sarah Wizeman: Okay. Yeah, absolutely.

Red Flags, Green Flags, and Wedding Chaos Decoded

Christa Innis: Um, okay, before we get to the submission.

Submission. This is the follower submission. Why am I saying that? Weird story submissions. Um, we’re do red flag, green flag. Are we, are you fine?

Sarah Wizeman: Oh, no, I’m good.

Christa Innis: Okay. Okay. Awesome. Um, okay, so this is Red flag versus green flag. Um, here we go. Okay. The groom’s sister demands to be a bridesmaid even though she constantly argues with the maid of honor.”

Sarah Wizeman: Ooh. Yeah. I would say that’s a red flag for sure.

Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s it.

Sarah Wizeman: Um, but like we were saying earlier. It’s like, there’s always two sides to every story. And this is like the stuff that I take, um, and I’m like, let’s think about it from both perspectives.

Like at first you present a skit to be like, um, the, the sister of the groom demands like to be a bridesmaid because, but like argues with the maid of honor. But then you show like the maid of honor, you show like the other side of like, what’s really going on and like maybe the maid of honor is like doing some evil stuff or whatever.

Some like, like, um, like how I would flip it would be like. Um, the sisters’, uh, the groom sister is actually trying to save the wedding because the maid of honor is trying to like, sabotage ITT or, or something like that. Yes.

Christa Innis: It’s all about like how you word it for No, totally. Yeah. I’ve even had skits where people like, hate one, one character at first, and I see their comments.

I’m like, oh, just wait. Just wait. They’re gonna find out. And then I’ll like completely twist it and they’re like, wait, what? Oh my gosh. I thought I liked, you know, um, because I’m just like, you never know from, Look. Yes. Oh my gosh, that’s so funny.

Um, okay. “A bridesmaid insists on bringing her toddler to every pre-wedding event, even though the bride said ‘No kids.’”

Sarah Wizeman: Red flag.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like we said earlier, it’s like, if it’s like a one off thing, like, oh, I mm-hmm. Sit or canceled or whatever, I’d be like, yeah, that’s fine. Like my, I think my baby shower and bridal shower, I kids or whoever wanted to bring their kitchen to come of course, but mm-hmm. Yeah. Every wedding event, and they’re like, oh, can’t, they’re gonna, they’re just coming with me. It’s like, okay. Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Especially if it’s every, every time like, oh, like disregarding the bride’s feelings for everything. I’m just gonna bring them because I didn’t plan ahead, or whatever. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: Exactly.

Christa Innis: The, um, “the maid of honor gives a 10 minute speech that turns into a story about her breakup and how she learned to love again.”

Sarah Wizeman: Oh, red flag. Oh gosh.

Christa Innis: Like no mattered way. What way You look at that, that’s a red flag.

Sarah Wizeman: 10 minute speech. Red flag. No, I’m just kidding. My sister actually gave like a 10 minute speech. It wasn’t that like that, it wasn’t like that. But she gave me, she gave a 10 minute speech that was like, um, talking about all of our like memories and stuff at the wedding.

I think she, she did that because like she added on more after like, the whole thing blew up. So she was like, let’s make this like a good vibe. Like remember all the good memories kind of thing.

Christa Innis: Yes. No, that’s good. That’s, you have to sometimes, like, you need someone like that that’s gonna like really like think on their feet and like flip their vibe completely.

Right. Um, yeah, I’ve, I’ve definitely heard of a few like situations like that.

Um, okay, last one. “The photographer rearranges the entire timeline because they know what works best for lighting.” 

Sarah Wizeman: Oh. I would say red flag at first. Yeah. Yeah. Red flag probably. But yeah, red flag. ’cause they, I mean I, I’m thinking about like putting the time into like my timeline and I’m like, if anybody changed that, I would be so upset. So, yeah, red flag.

Christa Innis: See, I cares about the lighting. I have a weird, like, per perspective on this one is because, okay. My photographer did my timeline, so before the wedding, oh. Like I could finalize some stuff, but like, we did, like, my photographer was like amazing. I don’t even know if photographers did this, but we sat on the call for probably like two hours, an hour and a half, putting the whole timeline together.

And she’s like, okay, these photos, if your wedding’s at, I think it was like we had an early wedding, three 30 or four 30, I think four 30. She was like, then we should do photos here. Your couple’s photos here. If we want nighttime photos, they should be here. So like, we kind like planned around it. Oh, okay.

But, um, so yeah, I was like, so she. If she moved it, I’d be like, okay, you know? You know what you’re doing. Yeah. Okay.

Sarah Wizeman: Okay. Yeah, see that would be the, yeah, that would be green flag that would like that whole thing. That’s like really awesome that your photographer did that. That’s amazing.

Christa Innis: I know. I don’t know if that’s, yeah, I don’t think that’s typical, but she was like, I always get together with my bride and groom like the week before and we just go over the full timeline and she like sent it to, she typed it as we were like talking and she sent the whole thing over to us, so then I just kinda like updated from my brides and bridesmaids and groom went and sent it out, so. Oh, okay. Yeah. That’s awesome. That’s really cool.

All right, let’s get to this week’s story submission. I’m a little raspy today, so bear with me.

Sarah Wizeman: Oh yeah, I understand. I don’t know. Where are you from Christa?

Christa Innis: I’m from Chicago Suburbs, but I live in Wisconsin now, so. Oh, okay. Yeah. Snow lots. Lots of snow. Yeah.

Yeah, so it’s just been like, we got what? I don’t even know. Like 10 inches maybe over the weekend. Oh, okay. So it was like, it was like a blizzard.

Sarah Wizeman: Yes. I live in upstate New York. Right. Like two hours from Canada, so, um, yeah, snow here too. So, and I woke up this morning, I was like, oh my gosh, I hope this clears up before the podcast.

Christa Innis: I know. Plus I feel like, I dunno if you feel the same way, like you’re just like, with filming and all that stuff, you’re just talking all the time. Mm-hmm. So there’s some days, like I’ve lost my voice more in the last couple years than I think I ever have. Mm-hmm. Because it’s just like recording podcasts.

I do YouTube and then skits. I’m just like, okay, I need to drink tea. Yeah. Yeah. So there’s always that desire. ’cause like, I’ll be like, okay, I’m not gonna do a skit today. Like, I need to take the day off and I’ll just post like for the podcast and then I’m like, oh, they really want the next part. I’m like, I don’t wanna let them down.

Okay. I’ll film the skit and then my husband will be like, rest your voice. I’m like, I gotta get it done. Yes. Like always back here. Like, do it, do it.

Sarah Wizeman: I can relate. Yep.

No Kids, No Compromise: When Wedding Entitlement Gets Real

Christa Innis: Anyway, um, okay, here we go. Love your videos. I’m happy to share my own crazy wedding story from 2021. Feel free to use it however you’d like.

“My husband and I were supposed to get married in 2020, but obviously the Global Pandemic had other plans. We ended up getting married at the courthouse that year and rescheduled our full wedding celebration for the following summer. Since we’d already made deposits and everything, we crossed our fingers that we’d actually be able to have it in July, 2021.

By April, we were still hoping, holding out that hope. The governor finally started reopening things, allowing events again, but only at half capacity. Venues could even be shut down if they went over. We had already planned for an intimate wedding. Our original venue capacity was 84, so they reduced the number to 42, which included us. That meant that we had 40 guest spots total, so we had to be strict about it. Originally, our guest list had 50 people, so we had to make some tough cuts. We did get to invite many friends, but it was mostly entirely family. It was almost entirely family. After days of pouring over the list, we finally narrowed it down.

While working on that list, I messaged my sister for contact. She lives outta state and had been dating a guy with a younger daughter for about six months. When we got engaged, she’d asked early on if he could come, and since that was pre-pandemic, I’d said, sure, no problem. Oh, here we go.

Sarah Wizeman: Yep. Here comes the drama.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Here comes the drama. Okay. When it co, when it came time to trim the list, I checked with her to see if he was still planning to come. I’d never even met him, but if she wanted to bring him, I would’ve kept his spot. It just would’ve been an easy cut otherwise. She said he was still coming and then asked if his daughter Violet could come too.

Ah, okay. We’d already decided on a no kids rule except for my husband’s niece and nephew. Funny how we were just talking about this.

Sarah Wizeman: Yes.

Christa Innis: Who were a part of the wedding party. So I told her Violet couldn’t come and suggested that Violet’s mom could keep her during the trip, my sister immediately freaked out saying, if Violet couldn’t come, she wouldn’t come either.

If your boyfriend’s daughter can’t come, the boyfriend that’s never met your sister, you’re not gonna come. That’s wild to me.

Sarah Wizeman: That that is crazy. Yeah. What, you’re not, all right, uh uh.

Christa Innis: And also to not like talking about communication. Not even being like, okay, you know what? Let me talk to him first and let’s see if the, if his ex-wife or whatever can watch the daughter.

Yes. Just immediately freaking out.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, immediately. Like not even like, like we were talking about communication,

Christa Innis: right? Like Yeah. Oh my gosh. Okay. It was something different where like she lived in state and she’d met this little girl many times and she’s like, okay, she’s kind of like a niece. Let’s have her too.

But like, she’s never met her. Right. So it also would probably be easier for her to, I mean, I don’t know the ex’s situation, but Right. You know? Oh my gosh. Yeah. Wow. Okay. Um, all right.

“Honestly, I didn’t care whether my sister came or not. That was her choice, but I knew my mom would take her side as always, and of course she did.

When I told my mom who was paying for the venue, she freaked out too and told me I needed to figure out a way to make it work, because that’s your sister’s family. Nevermind. I didn’t even know this kid or her dad, and that we were already struggling to fit everyone in still. I told her I would look into it.

We went back over the list and there was just no way to make it work without cutting close friends or choosing between cousins in the same family. So I told both my mom and my sister that we couldn’t justify adding Violet. I also said that once we got RSVPs, if anyone declined, we’d probably have the space.” Which I feel like that’s a good response, right?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, that that’s a good like backup plan. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. “That wasn’t good enough. My mom threatened to pull out of the wedding completely. No payment, no attendance over this.” Now, the mom,

Sarah Wizeman: The mom, the mom!? What? Did it say if the mom knew the daughter?  

Christa Innis: So far it did not say no. But she keeps referring to it as her family. 

Sarah Wizeman: Okay.

Christa Innis: So I don’t know if they’re like all like, let’s see. So it sounds like. 2020 when they originally got engaged, or 2019 when they originally got engaged Uhhuh. So she’s been with this guy for maybe a year and a half, two years by this point. I don’t know.

Sarah Wizeman: Oh my gosh. What?

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. “My sister accused me of playing favorites because we made exceptions to the two kids in the wedding party.

That’s pretty normal though.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. What!?

Christa Innis: “Then she told me I was dead to her. At that point, I’d had enough. I told her that was her choice and she could consider her invitation revoked.”

Sarah Wizeman: Oh God. Uninvited.

Christa Innis: Oh my God. Yeah. You’re, you’re done

Sarah Wizeman: Uninvited.

Christa Innis: But you gotta kind of like, not saying I support, like being like, you’re done. But I’m like, you gotta kind of like applaud her for being like, be like, okay, well you wanna play two can play that game. Because I think, I think half the time when people threaten things like that, they would just want you to change it. Like they don’t, they’re not gonna actually follow through.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah.

Christa Innis: They want you to, they wanna get their way.

Sarah Wizeman: Yes, a hundred percent. I will back you up on that one. Yeah. I’ve seen it happen so many times.

Christa Innis: Have you? Yeah. I just, I feel like there’s so many empty, like, threats out there. ’cause they just, they know they can take advantage of someone.

They’re like, if you don’t do this, I’m gonna do this. So they’re like, they’re like, I just don’t wanna even risk the chance of that happening, you know?

Sarah Wizeman: Right.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. “Cue my mom’s next meltdown. My sister had always been the favorite and this just proved it again in the end. My sister didn’t come to the wedding.

My mom eventually gave in at the last minute. One of my aunts also took my sister’s side and didn’t attend though, to be fair. I think it had more to do with her finding out my uncle was cheating than our own drama.” Okay. Whoa. I think that was separate. Okay. “That’s another, another thing. Once those people took themselves off the list, I actually got to invite a few people we wanted there.

Oh. And as a cherry on top, my mom also tried to get me to cut my stepmom’s parents, even though they’d been in my life for 20 years and were helping pay for the wedding. Obviously I refuse.” I don’t get the whole like telling someone, you have to uninvite or invite someone to the wedding. It’s like, that’s not how it works. It’s not your day.

Sarah Wizeman: No. It’s not your day at all. And also, like of course, the mother would target the stepmother’s family, like I feel like there might be some jealousy or animosity there or something.

Christa Innis: Story, she’s story like by her parents. It’s like, if they’ve been in her life as grandparents for 20 years, I think it’s acceptable.

Right? Oh my God. What? That’s s so of course the mom was never, the mom was always gonna show up, I feel like.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. I mean, unless you’re my dad, why are, how are you gonna, how are you gonna miss your daughter’s wedding? You know? Yes. Like that’s,

Christa Innis: And now to be like, put this wedge even more between the sisters, because it sounds like they’re already kind of like far apart, like they live in different states, but like the fact that they’re, I don’t know.

It’s, yeah. Um, so she says, “for weeks afterward, my mom kept pushing me to apologize to my sister, even though I’d done nothing wrong. I told her I wouldn’t and that my sister actually owed me an apology. We didn’t speak for months after the wedding. And even now, four years later, we barely talk. So yeah, that’s my story. Use it, tweak it, or do whatever you want with it.” 

Sarah Wizeman: Oh, oh my gosh. That’s that. Oh, man. So did, did she mean her and her sister barely talk?

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. That’s, that’s really sad. Like we’re talking about like looking at both perspectives, right? And so like, I could see, like, I could see where the other sister would be hurt.

’cause like, let’s say she’s been living with this guy now, what did she say? She met him in? It had to be, um, they had, let’s see, it was pre-pandemic. When she’d asked early on. So it would’ve been like 20, yeah. 2019. 2019, right. Yeah. So at this point they’d been together, let’s say at mo at the very most, it would be two years.

Okay. But probably not even, maybe a year and a half. Yeah. Um, so for the sister, like she’s been living this with this guy for a year. Maybe the daughter comes every other week. Maybe she like, takes care of the daughter mostly. We don’t know. Yeah. Um, so I could get feeling hurt for sure. Like if you’re like, this is my family, family.

This is my almost stepdaughter and my boyfriend of two years. But to make that be like, what you’re gonna, the hill you’re gonna die on?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Right. Of course it would be easier for her just to like invite, but I don’t know. It’s, yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: I know, it makes me wonder if like she and her sister have like some sort of back history of like just sibling rival rivalry kind of thing going on too.

Like maybe, I don’t know. That’s, that’s how I think with the whole skits thing, but um, yeah, I, that would not be the hill that I would wanna die on. Me and my sister, we are best friends, but we also are, are like tough critics too. So like, you know, we’ve had a little bit of sibling rivalry going on, but I would never like ever not show up to her wedding if she told me that I couldn’t bring my significant other or my child. Mm-hmm. Actually, my, so Amanda, the girl I was talking about, my bridesmaid, she’s more of like a sister to me, and she had her wedding during the pandemic, and she asked me to, um, come by myself without my, um, he was my fiance at the time.

Mm-hmm. Um, and, or no, he was just my boyfriend at the time, actually. But I, I was like, of course, that’s no problem. Like, you know, like, I’m gonna be there for you. I understand because of what’s going on. I know you would have him there if it wasn’t the restrictions. I know it’s outta your control, so. Yeah.

Um, but yeah, I would not choose that as my hill to die on.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like, I’m even thinking like, let’s say like my cousin who’s like a sister to me, like she lives in another state, let’s say. Like she’s getting married and was like, we’re not doing any kids, so your daughter can’t come. I don’t think I’d be offended by that.

Mm-hmm. Like my blood daughter, I would be like, okay, either I can make it work with a babysitter or I can’t, and be, I either fly with someone to watch her in the hotel room or I can’t make it work. I wouldn’t be like, oh my gosh, how, how dare you like not invite her. Do you hate her? Like, ’cause it’s not that personal.

Yeah. Like it’s not personal. There’s just some places that I feel like aren’t meant for kids sometimes. Yeah. People just don’t want that vibe and, and that’s okay. Like when people get up in arms in the comments about it, they’re like, oh, well, wedding’s a family event. And I’m like, sure. But it’s also a party.

Yeah. It’s alcohol. Mm-hmm. I mean, so it’s teach their own, like, you wouldn’t bring your child into an R-rated movie. You wouldn’t bring your child to like a nightclub or, you know, like there’s, there’s certain places and if that’s the vibe you want for your wedding, you, that’s the beauty of it. You get to pick what vibe you want and um, but yeah, it’s like you can’t be like up in arms about. Or mad at the bride for wanting it a certain way, you know?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, exact. Exactly. Like whatever the bride wants. I, I, that’s like kind of been my motto is like, whatever the bride wants, like, is like what you respect, I guess, or I, I shouldn’t even say the bride is the couples that make those decisions together too.

Mm-hmm. And so whatever they want, like respect that. Obviously crazy. I’ve seen crazy things happen, but I’m talking about like the people who are like, like the no kid weddings or like mm-hmm. You know, um, other decisions that they make. Like I’ve seen like the dry weddings as well. Like we kind of  that’s a whole, like controversy as well too. So Yeah. If you want to support them, respect their wishes, uh, otherwise like just say no thank you to the invite, I guess. Yeah, that would be, that’s like kind of like what my motto would be for that.

Christa Innis: Right. Because yeah, again, it’s like the entitlement because like, she didn’t even try to like. See if they could find someone to watch the child or like, how about we all fly together and then he just stays back with her while go to the wedding. You know, like, yeah. It was anything like that. It was just freaking out on the bride immediately. Yes. And making it her problem. Change your rules for your wedding. ’cause I’m bringing,

and like that’s, that doesn’t sit right, right with me because I’m just like, there could have been so many other ways to go about it. Like if she was like, Hey, actually, like he has sole custody and we, you know, can’t rely on the mom. Okay, well how about you come here and she can come to this, you know, like you can like, communicate through things.

Like, it’s just demanding. I don’t like. 

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, a hundred percent. Like if she would’ve, instead of texted back the demand or like the, the awful things she could have said, Hey, like, let me talk to him and see like what options we have. Do you have any other options on your end? Like, could you go to the venue and say, Hey, is there like, like something that we could do?

Like, could we. I, I don’t even know what the, ’cause that was like a mandatory, like mandate, but, um, I’m just like thinking like, is there something that she could do on her end? Like, you know? Right. Like, it’s like you were talking about, it’s just like all about communication and Yeah. When you come at someone and just like, start yelling like that doesn’t, that doesn’t end well for anybody.

Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. That just starts off all on the bad foot.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Well, that was a, a wild story. All right. Yes. There’s no listening what you, what you think about that.

Wedding Confessions: Toxic Moms, Sibling Drama & Vendor Chaos

All right. I always like to end these episodes with some confessions people send me. They all have to do with weddings and stuff, so, oh, okay. Here we go.

All right. Um, let me check my eyesight here. Okay, here we go. Um, people will send me these on Instagram, so here we go.

Um, “moved across the country hoping it will help my husband limit contact with his toxic mom.”

Sarah Wizeman: Oh.

Christa Innis: Keep us posted on how that’s going.

Sarah Wizeman: Okay. Yes, exactly. Oh my goodness. Um, I hope, I hope that, I hope that the toxic mom is not gonna follow you there. That’s like, like what I think of, I’m like, I hope they don’t gonna move  there.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. And I feel like at the end of the day too, it has to be him that limits the toxic mom.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Like block or block, um, not answer certain calls or talk to her? It’s not, yeah. Um, this says, “currently terrified that my brother and sister-in-law will announce their pregnancy at my wedding.”

Would that terrify you if someone were to announce their pregnancy?

Sarah Wizeman: Um, no. Um, that would not actually, I would be, I would be the one to be like super happy, especially if like they’ve been like waiting for it for a while, like. That would be just me though. Like that wouldn’t bother me. An engagement on the other hand, I think would bother me a little bit more than a pregnancy announcement.

Christa Innis: Proposal at your wedding?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, that’s what I meant. Proposal. Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: I mean, I feel like it’s like, depends on like how they would do it. If they like, were just like, Hey, you wanna let you know? I’d be like, I’d so happy for you. That’s awesome. If they were like in a speech, just so you know, we’re having a baby. It’s all about That’s true about relationships and I think like how you go about it.

Yeah. Because I did get a story sent to me once where, um, the whole like. Engagement. It was like a one upper kind of thing, right? With the two siblings. And the mom wanted to do a grand gender reveal at the wedding and they were like, no, like they wanted like balloons and like, and then they saw, and one of the bridesmaids saw the mom loading boxes of balloons into the car.

And they were like, these are staying out here. And then they like did a big thing at their table. Like she would not say no. She wanted her moment of like announcing that she was gonna be a grandma at the wedding.

Sarah Wizeman: That’s like a, um, a Madison Humphrey, like I can see Madison Humphrey. And being like, oh my gosh.

Wow. Yeah, I can, yeah, that’s on hand. Yeah, no, I was thinking like, it would be more of like, um, like they would be like over in the corner, like at the bar or whatever, and being like, just let you guys know we are pregnant. Like, kind of like talking to their family. Not like a whole shebang, balloons and stuff. Holy cow.

Christa Innis: Right. Yeah. Oh my gosh. So I wonder if like, this girl has like a hint that something big is gonna happen or I don’t know. Mm-hmm. Good luck, girl. Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: Let her know. Let us know or let Christa know what happened. Yes. Let us

Christa Innis: know. Um, okay. This last one says, “sister-in-law to the bride called the pastor and said he shouldn’t marry the couple.” Yikes. Why are we doing that?

Sarah Wizeman: The sister-in-law called the pastor and told him that they shouldn’t, he shouldn’t marry them.

Christa Innis: Uhhuh.

Sarah Wizeman: What? Wait, is the confession? Confession is coming from the bride or the sister?

Christa Innis: No, it just  says, it’s just says the si The bride’s sister-in-law called the pastor. So I wonder if it’s just like things that people like.

Sarah Wizeman: Okay.

Christa Innis: That’s why.

Sarah Wizeman: Wow. That is, that’s, I wonder why, I wonder what provoked that. I, I feel like maybe infidelity, uh, I don’t know. Or just doesn’t like her. Yeah. Or yeah, like the cattiness of it. I’m so nice.

Christa Innis: I just heard a story where a sister-in-law tried, um, canceling the bride’s dress like she called the bridal shop.

And pretended to be the bride and said, we will no longer need your services. And she went around and canceled vendors and venues.

Sarah Wizeman: I did a skit like that once. I can’t remember the actual details, but I remember like the mother-in-law calls in and like cancels, um, cancels a bunch of different things and then they show up and nothing is there.

So. That’s, I feel like that’s like a popular thing. Um, oh my God. Like that. I’m, he, I like hear it all. I hear about that a lot. Like people like, ’cause that’s why, um, like, uh, the vendors have to have a code now. Like, so like when you call in, like they have to make like a special code, um, before you can like, cancel anything because like they’ve had problems with like, people calling in and like changing stuff or canceling it.

Um, that weren’t supposed to.

Christa Innis: That’s why I know. I never knew that was a thing until people started sending me stories and they were like, yeah, my mother-in-law tried changing everything at our venue. And I’m like, what? Why do people, people do that? Like, this is really making these skits. I’ve really learned a lot about how crazy some people are.

Sarah Wizeman: I know, I’m, I agree with you. ’cause I’m like, wait, she did what? I have to act that out, you know, kind of thing. Like, oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. That’s so funny.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Well, thank you so much for coming on. This was so fun hanging out with you. Oh

Sarah Wizeman: gosh. Absolutely. Thank you for having me. I was so excited to be on.

It was so fun to talk about all the different stories and stuff, so thank you for having me on.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And thank you for sharing your story. I know that was a lot probably to dive back into, but, um, can you, for everyone listening, can you share again, like where they can find all your content, your, like your social handles, your book name, and anything else fun you’re working on?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Um, so my book name is The Invisible String. I think it might be backwards, but in the invisible string. No, it’s, it’s forward to me. Oh, it’s okay. Cool. Yeah. Um, you can find it on Amazon. Um, and then all my handles are just @Sarah Wizeman for any of my social media. I’m on TikTok and YouTube. Um, I don’t really go on Instagram that much.

It’s just like, it’s like comp too complicated for me, for Instagram for sure. But yeah. And, um, yeah, I’m coming out with, so I’ve like challenged myself to kind of release like a new book every, like, on YouTube is more like my, like longer stories where TikTok is like my short like bridal stories and like crazy skits.

Um, so I’ve challenged myself to like publish a book every month, um, and then like kind of month act it every month. Yeah. Act it out on Go girl. It probably won’t be as big as this. Not that this is big, but it like, probably will be like short stories kind of thing. But, um. Right now I’m working on one ’cause I work, I help my, one of my best friends who was a bridesmaid of mine, she owns a Christmas tree farm and it is so fun to work with her at the Christmas Tree Farm.

So the next book I’m gonna be publishing here soon is actually like a Christmas tree farm story, so…

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Like Hallmark story.

Sarah Wizeman:  Yes, yes. I’m so excited about it. So, and then I’ll act it out and like post it on YouTube and kind of do that like monthly over there. But TikTok will basically stay like the plot twist crazy wedding stuff and like romance, like I usually like romance, uh, crazy relationship stuff, all that.

Christa Innis: I love that. That’s so smart. That’s such a smart way and fun way to like market your books too and get people. Yeah. Yeah. All right, well thank you so much. We’ll put all the links to all your books and everything in the show notes as well.

Sarah Wizeman:  Okay. Thank you, Christa!


The Mother of All Wedding Meltdowns: Stolen Funds, Sequin Gowns, & Shopping Disasters

Ever had your dream wedding hijacked by family drama?

In this episode, I’m re-sharing an episode previously released for Patreon only, where we dive into wild mothers of the bride and the chaos they can create. From stolen wedding funds and sequin gowns to rehearsal dinner meltdowns, I walk you through four jaw-dropping stories straight from the Vault. These are the moments that make you laugh, gasp, and maybe rethink your own wedding planning.

I also break down real-life etiquette fails, awkward tension, and lessons on setting boundaries—all while keeping the champagne flowing. Trust me, these moms are full of surprises.

Plus, I’m celebrating episode 50 with a giveaway: four $50 Amazon gift cards! Just share a screenshot or post about the podcast and tag me @HeyChristaInnis.

Grab a drink, tune in, and get ready for chaos, laughs, and jaw-dropping wedding drama!

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month! 

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

Get the book!

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

01:33 Hot Takes on Mothers of the Bride

04:08 Famous Mothers of the Bride in Pop Culture

08:18 Real-Life Mother of the Bride Stories

14:58 The Over-the-Top Wedding Attire

15:19 Family Drama Unfolds at the Reception

17:47 Awkward Vibes and Wedding Tensions

18:33 Personal Wedding Experiences and Reflections

19:40 The Rehearsal Dinner Dilemma

23:04 Mother-Daughter Conflict Over Wedding Plans

27:51 A Wedding Weekend Overshadowed by Drama

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • Stolen Wedding Funds – A mother takes thousands from the wedding fund, forcing the bride to DIY the night before.
  • Hard Liquor Threats – The groom’s mom and uncle threaten to skip the wedding over drink options, showing how minor disagreements escalate fast.
  • Bridesmaid & Groom Chaos – Drunk family members disrupt the reception, creating tension and awkwardness for everyone.
  • Sequin Overload – The mother-of-the-bride shows up in a floor-length sequin gown for a rustic barn wedding.
  • Rehearsal Dinner Meltdown – Miscommunication over invitations and payments spirals into public confrontations and tears.
  • Family Whisper Wars – Moms and aunts whisper, judge, and hold grudges, overshadowing the bride’s excitement.
  • Emotional Support Saves the Day – The mother-in-law steps in to comfort the bride during a meltdown.
  • Episode 50 Giveaway – Celebrate with me! Four $50 Amazon gift cards up for grabs—just share a screenshot or post about the podcast and tag me @HeyChristaInnis.
  • Half-Apologies & Lessons Learned – Despite chaos, boundaries and communication slowly restore some peace before the wedding.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  • “If you are paying for the wedding, it doesn’t mean you get to control everything—mutual respect goes a long way.” – Christa Innis
  • “Wearing white as the mother of the bride? Passive-aggressive flex. Just don’t.” – Christa Innis
  • “Let the bride and groom enjoy their day—don’t spill the drama before it even starts.” – Christa Innis
  • “Family whispers, unspoken grudges, and judgmental glares—this is why weddings need champagne.” – Christa Innis
  • “At the end of the day, it’s your choice. No right or wrong, just boundaries and keeping the peace.” – Christa Innis

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

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Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis:  Hi guys. Happy New Year and welcome to episode 50 of, Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis. Now, because it’s episode 50, I want to do a little giveaway. I thought it’d be a fun way to start the episode in a new year, so I’m gonna be giving away a. Four $50 Amazon gift cards. All you have to do is share a screenshot of you listening to the podcast, a photo of you listening to the podcast, and tag me mentioning the podcast in some way.

Share your review, anything to do with the podcast, share on social media. And then tag me at Hey Christa Innis, and I’ll be selecting four different winners to win $50 Amazon gift cards. I’ll announce the winners on February 12th. And that’s it. That’s all you have to do. Very simple. Literally just do a screenshot, share a photo, talking about you listening to the podcast.

Anything to help share it in one way or another will be really great. Um. Anything to share it on social media would be really awesome. And then we’ll just randomly select some winners. Just wanna give back to you guys. It’s just wild to think that we are almost at one full year of doing the podcast. And I know I can’t say it enough, but I’m just so grateful to everyone that’s listened, that’s shared, downloaded, left a review, whatever that looks like.

It just means the world to me. Um. And I’ve talked about it before, but when I set out to do this podcast, you know, gosh, it was November of 2023, right? Oh my gosh. I, I lose track of time so quickly. Um, November of 2024. What year are we in? We’re in 2025 right now when I’m recording. Yeah. Anyway, uh, when I set out to record it, I was like, you know what?

I think 20, I think we could do 25,000 downloads in a year, and now we’re at, you know, 225,000 something downloads, which is just wild to think. Um, I love being able to. Talk with you guys like on more topics, because I feel like the thing with social media is like, yes, I can show different sides of myself, but like obviously I’ve become known as like the skit girl.

I dunno if that makes sense. But like people know me as sharing these stories. They love the skits and there’s so much fun to do. But this gives me like a deeper side. Like I can have full conversations with people that come on, they can share their profession or what they’re interested in. And, um, we can just elaborate and talk a little bit more.

Um, so it’s fun to like be able to share that side. It’s also very scary. So that was the thing with doing this podcast is that I wasn’t sure how people would react to it if they would like it, because they’re used to me seeing skits or acting out skits. Um, but the thing is I was getting so many stories and this allows me to kind of.

Expand on thoughts or react to things and allow you guys to listen in another way too. Um, ’cause we can’t always, you know, watch skits all the time. I think it’s good to be driving and listen to a podcast or, um, working out, whatever that looks like for you. So I’m just so grateful for you guys listening to this episode and beyond and sharing.

Um. It’s kinda wild just thinking about it and what’s, what’s good to come. Um, I feel like 2026 is gonna be a really good year. Um, I’m not like a new Year’s resolutions person per se. Like I believe in setting goals and manifesting and having visions and creating vision boards, but I don’t think it has to be like.

New Year’s Day. I feel like a lot of people are like so caught up on New Year’s Day and like starting fresh and if that works for you, I feel like lean into that 100%. Um, but I, I really do, like I said, believe in manifesting and. That’s one of the things I did with this podcast. I was always like, this is what I want it to look like.

These are the goals. And of course, we’ve pivoted and changed along the way, but I’ll be creating a vision board for this year for sure if I haven’t already by the time you guys are listening. Um, and I encourage you guys to do the same, like no matter how big or how small, just keep dreaming, keep thinking of things you wanna do in your life.

Uh, personal goals you have, um, career goals, um, things you wanna do with your family, whatever that looks like. It’s so good to like write things down and just have a loose plan or just something you can look at and be like, yes, this is me, this is what I want. Um, so I really encourage that. Um, another thing that’s coming this year is obviously I’ve talked about finishing up book number two.

Um, I’m sharing a lot more of the writing process. Um, I’m trying to, anyway, with the second book and, you know. While I finished writing the story, there’s still all these like moving parts, right? There’s the editing part of it, proofreading, um, having my literary agent look at it. So, um, hopefully we’ll have some more dates soon and I can give you guys some more details on that.

Now that we’re on the subject of Ferris and Sloan, in case you miss. I started a little prequel of their story. This has been so fun for me to create. Um, people kept asking about season four, and I still have no intentions of doing season four. I’ve talked about this. I think it’s the most popular question I keep answering is because like.

It would just get really complicated if I were to keep doing season four with the books, because the books have kind of changed. So the prequel allows me to have that same creative, um, feel that I did in the first season of Ferris and Sloan because, um, I can just kind of do with it what I want. And it’s been really fun so far.

So if you haven’t checked that out yet, please go check it out. Like I said, it’s been so much fun to create and come back to these characters. Um, now for today’s episode, since I’ve been kind of taking a little time off around work. Around the holidays, and I kind of say that very loosely because, you know, I take a little time off, but I’m also still doing a lot of planning and stuff.

But, um, just like last week, I’m going to share a prerecorded episode, but this was previously shared also my Patreon. So if you weren’t Patreon or your Patreon and you listened to it a long time ago. It’s a good one. It’s a really good one you’re gonna really enjoy. This was called the Mother of all Wedding Meltdowns.

So in this episode, I read not one, not two, not three, but four different mother of the bride stories from the vault, and they’re kind of all over the place and they, they start a little bit shorter and then it gets to a, a couple long ones at the end there. So this one is pretty wild. Um, I hope you guys enjoy it and.

I’ve heard you guys loud and clear. You guys want more drama, more stories and get rid of all the extra stuff. One thing I will never get rid of though, is just my random banter because it’s just fun just to add some little commentary, however this episode, we’re gonna do things a little bit different. we’re gonna switch up the structure a little bit because it’s still kind of figuring out Patreon and what you guys want to hear, right? So we have not one, not two, not three, but four different stories from the vault. All about mothers of the bride.

I told you guys, each month we’re gonna focus on different, either people involved or different topics involved in weddings. We did bridesmaids, we did groomsmen. Not saying they won’t come back, but this month is all about mothers of the bride. And believe me, we get lots of stories, about the moms because they do really have such a vital role when it comes to weddings and I think it’s really important that, we all understand our role and we understand like how we can be helpful and not overstep. 

I always say this time and time again, I’m so lucky that my mom and mother-in-law were both so helpful and respectful. Like on the wedding day, not like taking anything away from me. They knew how important it was to me to be able to plan, but also I kept them very involved as much as they wanted to be. But we have a lot of stories. about mothers of the bride that did not really understand their role. People get pushed to the wayside. People get told how they’re gonna do things and it causes some chaos. So, like I said, we’re gonna do things a little bit different. We’re gonna just keep it fun today.

I mean, not saying it’s not usually fun, but we’re just gonna jump right into the drama. Let’s start with some hot takes. Okay. Here are some hot takes around mothers of the bride. First one says: 

Mother Of The Bride Myths, Power Plays & Pop Culture Chaos

If she’s paying, she’s planning. Okay, so this is interesting. I shouldn’t say I have mixed feelings about this because I’m pretty consistent with my feelings on this.

If you are paying for the wedding because you want to help as a gift you can help with as much as the bride and groom still want you to help with. It does not mean because you’re paying, you can take control. Now I think it’s all about mutual respect. If there’s a good relationship between the bride, the groom, and the parents.

Then I think absolutely let’s help each other out. You wanna take on this? I’ll take on this. Absolutely. Like, let’s do it. However, if it’s already kind of a rocky relationship and you’re doing it to hang something over their head, then yeah, let’s not do that. Because if you’re paying just so you can control things, then that altogether is not a great thing, but we hear about it all the time that, oh, well, she paid for it so she can change it, or she can do it this way. And I just don’t agree with that. But that’s a constant thing that we always see. Right.

Okay. Number two, wearing white is a passive aggressive flex. Yeah. I mean, again, it depends on the wedding. There are some weddings where they’re like, I don’t care. We’re white. It’s a garden wedding. Wear neutrals or whatever. however, unless specifically stated on the invitation or told to you by the brighter groom themselves, don’t wear white. I’ve heard a lot of stories where a mother of bride has walked in wearing white, and you can tell it’s just too upstage. So just putting that out there. 

Number three, she should walk in before the bridesmaids. Yes. I don’t know if I’ve been to a wedding where she walks in after the bridesmaids. That’s just kind of like how it typically goes. The first few people might change a little bit, but you typically have the groom. In a heterosexual wedding, you typically have the groom walkout first, whether it’s with his parents or by himself. Then you have his parents and then you have, depending if you want people to walk on the aisle, sometimes parents just walk out as part of the guest. but like in ours, we had my husband walk down with both of his parents, then my mom walked with my brother, and then, I think we did grandparents.

Then bridesmaids were before me. Bridesmaids and groommen were before me. Flower girl, ring bear, all that stuff. So yes, I think the parents should walk out before the bridesmaids because you want your family set first before like the wedding party starts basically. They wanna be able to see everything.

Okay, here we go. Famous mothers of the bride. Guess that mother of the bride. Here we go. So I’m gonna read a clue, I’m gonna pause so you guys can guess at home who you think it was. Okay. She tried to steal the spotlight by wearing a white dress to her daughter’s wedding then dance with her ex-husband on the beach in Greece. Who is that mother of the bride? That is Meryl Streep and Mama Mia. 

Okay. I have not seen that movie in a long time. It’s probably been since I was in college. but it’s a movie, so it’s entertainment. So don’t take any of this. It’s seriously, but there’s already a lot of problematic things with this.

The next one I’m gonna read. This high society mother of bride lied to her daughter about her father’s identity times three. Again, Amanda’s mom and mama Mia. So there’s already some problems, with that. She wasn’t completely honest with her daughter. So did she wear a white dress to upstate her daughter? I don’t know. Maybe she did. Who knows. 

Okay. Number three, she secretly planned her daughter’s entire wedding, didn’t tell her, and then expected her to go along with it, including picking the venue and the dress. Who was that mother of the bride? That is, it’s crazy ’cause you read some of these and you’re like, that would never happen.But I just, I just read a story very similar to this that just happened to someone that is Jane Fonda and Monster in-law. 

Okay. Number four. She crashed her ex’s new wedding just to stir the pot because no one upstages her in her own family. I’m not familiar with this one. That’s Lucille Bluth vibes. It says, in Arrested Development. 

Okay. There’s two more. This real life celebrity mother of the bride wore a sheer beaded gown to her daughter’s Italian wedding and somehow stole the spotlight. The clue is momager. Okay, that’s Kris Jenner at Courtney Kardashian’s wedding. I don’t follow the Kardashians very closely. I used to watch. What was their show like on Hulu? I’ve seen, I would watch that, but I didn’t grow up watching the Kardashians, so I think I missed the whole Courtney Kardashian wedding. Now I know one of the daughters had a wedding where they all wore white. And guys, if you were big Kardashian fans, you’re probably laughing at me ’cause you’re like, what are you talking about? I think they all just upstage each other. I think they’re all just really into fashion and. I don’t know. I think they all just are really into it and looking good, so I don’t, I doubt she did it to upstage her, but I could be wrong. 

Okay, last one here. She plays sweet and simple, but she’s the real mastermind behind the scenes. Calmly steering the chaos of a massive Greek family and reminding us that the woman may not be the head, but she’s definitely the neck. That is Maria Porticos in my Big Fat Greek wedding. I love that movie.

So let me tell you a little funny backstory. So I was in fifth grade, I think, when that movie came out. Not to age myself. I think I was in fifth grade, and my best friend and I at the time, we wanted to go to the movies to go see something, right? And it was one of those days, I think it was like either a spring break or summer, and we were just like old enough to go to the movies by ourselves. Like our parents would drop us off so we could go and, my friend Valerie, she was like, well this movie called My Big Fat Greek Wedding is playing. And I was like, I don’t even know what that is. Like, I never heard of it. And I told my mom, my mom was like, oh, I think it’s for adults. I don’t think you’re gonna like it. It might be just, Out of your realm of what you would find funny. And so we’re like, whatever, it’s the only movie available.

And so we went and we were cracking up. We thought it was so funny, the whole Windex thing. I mean, it’s one of those classics and I’ve since gone back and watched it. ’cause now I think they have two or three of ’em and it’s so good. I love the mom. Porta Collos. I just think she’s so wholesome and sweet.

Yes. Is there some of that, control? Of course. That’s more when they’re dating though. But you can tell she just like so cares for her daughter and she really adapts to everything and I think just, it’s such a good movie. So just a little side spiel. 

Mother Of The Bride Horror Vault

Okay. I better get into it guys, because we’ve got four stories from the vault.

The first. They get longer and longer as they go. The first couple are pretty short. The last one is The main one. Again, I’ve not read these. We kind of just searched for mother of the bride and we’re gonna see what happens and we’re gonna react in real time here. 

Okay? Number one, my mom stole several thousand dollars out of our wedding fund, so the night before I had to cook all the food and make the decor because it was the vendor’s money.

How does that work? Because typically vendors are gonna require deposit down and then still come. So why would then you have to make all the food? it says she bought pills with it. Oh gosh. Tried to sell them to the wedding guests while wearing a cocktail dress that she was falling out of. Oh my gosh.

She also kept all my memorabilia, so we literally had nothing from our wedding. When I asked her why she would do this, she shrugged and said, well, you’re getting married in my yard. Oh my gosh. So this is very like off the rails, but similar to I’m paying for it so I can do what I want.

She’s obviously not paying for it. I mean, I don’t know what parts she was kind of paying for, but providing the yard in her mind, she’s like, well. That means everything that’s on this yard belongs to me, I can control things still several thousands. I’m also wondering like, how did she get access to it? Was this a bank account? So many questions you guys. Oh my gosh. bad. That’s pretty bad.

Okay. Story number two, this happened at my fiance’s best friend’s wedding. First, his mom and uncle were very upset because the groom said there wasn’t going to be any hard liquor served at the reception only wine in a couple different kinds of beer.

Oh my gosh, you guys, if you watch my content, you’ve seen that one that I just, not that long ago. I think it was, Aaron. I think it was like all names from the office. It was like Aaron, Pam, gosh, I don’t even remember who else was in it. Jim. it was so similar. It was the sister like that didn’t wanna come because she was like, why are you not having any hard liquor? That is crazy. 

His mom and uncle actually threatened not to come, but then they decided to, they would just have some hard liquor before the wedding and showed up drunk. They also snuck hard liquor into the reception that they kept to themselves, and also one of the groomsmen was the groom’s girl best friend as the groom’s mom was leaving the reception.

Okay. Drunk as a skunk, she pulled the girl best friend aside and told her it should have been you. Oh no, just reading this, I’m realizing like, oh, this is like a girl’s mom, but whatever. 

There’s a lot to say here. There’s a lot to say here. I mean, first threatening to not come to the wedding. This is your son’s wedding, right? Yeah. The uncle and the mom are, threatening to not come because there’s no hard liquor. That’s a problem. That is a problem. If you’re gonna refuse to not go celebrate someone as close and important as your son, that’s a problem. Then she decides to get drunk in the parking lot or wherever before the wedding tells the best friend. Oh my gosh. Should have been you. The girl best friend, felt instantly awkward and talked to my fiance, who was the best man. Not sure if she should tell the groom or not. In the end, she decided it was the right thing. She had to tell him. Oh my gosh. See, I think you should avoid telling the bride and groom anything until after the wedding.

Let them live in their wedded bliss. Don’t keep telling about the drama. because there’s so many people that I’ve had stories send to me that there were like, our day was amazing. We had the best time. Later we found out, or someone told me this later, and I just think let’s do that.

Let’s let them keep the peace. And just live in their wedded bliss because I don’t know, it’ll distract them from their day if we’re just telling them like every little drama thing. Anyways, it says the groom got in a big fight with his mom and they ended up not speaking for something like three months.

Oh my gosh. That’s insane. Okay, next one. I’m breaking this one up so I don’t. Mess it up. Story number three. Trying to not lose my voice again, as of the date I’m recording this. I had just lost my voice and I’m starting to get it back again, but I’m realizing like I’m doing even more talking. This week I had three podcasts episodes to film and filming content, so I’m really trying to like. Make sure I’m drinking water, taking breaks and all that good stuff.

Anyways, okay, so my brother married this girl that literally my whole family hates. We all tried to talk him out of it because she and her family are nothing but drama. hard. And I know in her mind, and again, I’m not a part of it, I’m only reading a story here, but in her mind, she’s like helping him by saying that.

But there’s some things you just have to let them figure it out on their own, because if something were to happen, you don’t want him turning his back on his family being like, well, you guys did this, or You guys blamed them, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He needs to figure it out on his own, otherwise it’s gonna cause like a bigger rift between him and his family.

But he wanted to marry her. So my mom and aunt literally did everything for the wedding. Full on DIY, decor and favors and helped pay for the venue. I didn’t wanna be in the wedding unless I could stand on my brother’s side with our cousin and older brother. She told my brother I was being a selfish bitch a baby, and if I didn’t stand with her, I couldn’t be in the wedding at all.

Oh my gosh. It is hard. if you already don’t like the bride, then I get not wanting to be in the wedding. But you’ll also at the end of the day have to realize it’s the bride and grooms day. So if they want bridesmaids on their side and grooms went on the other, that’s their thing. I’ve seen more and more sides get mixed up with guys and girls or whatever, but at the end of the day, it’s their choice. I don’t know. That’s hard. That’s hard. 

She says, fine. Wedding day comes, and I was helping my mom literally set the whole thing up. We were at the venue all day. her family was getting their hair and makeup done, and they never even asked my mom if she wanted to come with them to get ready.

Her mom, this is the mother of the bride came to the venue, which was a barn since they did a fall country casual theme. She showed up in a full blown sequin floor length gown with fake eyelashes. Hey, I’m not knocking fake eyelashes though, because I had them at my wedding and I got married in a old Mattress factory. That’s a story for another time. I mean, it’s not really a story, it’s a cool, like rustic looking thing Anyways, and we all have fake eyelashes, but you can have ’em done different ways and hey, if that’s what you’re comfortable with, you do, you girl. But a full blown sequin, floor length gown is a little over the top for a barn.

That’s where you kinda wanna know the theme, But as a mother of the bride, you should maybe know it, but I dunno. It says the woman is 60. She said the decor that my mom and aunt made was tacky and looked cheap. 

Okay. No, that’s just downright rude When you didn’t help with anything. You cannot come in and tell them that it looks tacky and cheap. Like, come on. There are zero pictures of our parents with her parents during the reception. Her father sat outside the entire night and we honestly never saw him after the father-daughter dance. Her mom had invited her friends they stayed outside all night and her brother brought weed and was smoking it with the flower girls right there.

Oh my gosh. This is a mess. Okay. My dad was freaking out that we were gonna get kicked out of the venue. Meanwhile, the bride didn’t speak to anyone. Changed into a t-shirt and jeans was just on the phone, the entire reception. Why are they getting married? It sounds like they don’t wanna be getting married or like someone’s pressuring them.

But if like his family doesn’t like her, the families aren’t talking, the bride herself seems unhappy. Put on a t-shirt and jeans right after it was on the phone. Like, what’s happening here? The bride’s brother took off his shirt and was drunk running around trying to pick a fight with guests. Oh my gosh.

Oh, this is crazy. The owner of the venue told my dad to get him out of there, or he was going to call the police. Why is it up to the groom’s dad? That’s weird. My dad found the mother of the bride and asked her to remove her son. She told my dad that we were being judgemental her son was just having a good time.

No. Oh, this isn’t good. My cousin, who was a groomsman, ended up having to carry her brother out of the venue get someone to drive him home. The mother of the bride yelled at my cousin for touching her son and making him leave. That was our family being rude and the whole wedding was a disaster because of us.

That just shows you that. Whoever tells the story is gonna tell it from, you know, obviously their perspective. So this mother of the bride’s probably going around saying like, uh, the family that my daughter married into is horrible. They ruined their wedding. They were so judgmental. They took my son out.They grabbed him. all those things. When in reality, well, we weren’t there. So we don’t know what the real story is, but according to this sister of the groom, they were just pretty disruptive and rude and drunk. So that’s what I’m getting from all that. That’s crazy. That’s when like, I really can picture in my mind, like I picture them at this barn.

I picture them the brides in her little t-shirt and just like, don’t talk to me. It’s just awkward vibes. Have you guys ever been to a wedding where there’s just awkward vibes. Like either people just feel like they shouldn’t get married. There’s a lot of chitter chatter. There’s a lot of like tension because I definitely have, and you know, the second you walk in, people are not.

I don’t know. seems a little more tense. You can kind of feel it and like I’ve known to be like a little more like aware of these things. Like if I go somewhere, like I can tell like when there’s tension, some people don’t notice it, but like I’ve been to weddings where I’m just like, what’s the issue here? Or are they not supposed to be getting married? Who got in a fight with who? Like something’s off. I don’t know. 

Okay. And this last one, Ooh, I need more water. This one’s like a long one, so I need a voice break after this.

Alright, you guys need to share some more of like your wedding guest stories. I feel like I haven’t been to a wedding in so long. Like I said, I don’t know, I’ve said another podcast, but like my husband and I used to go to weddings all the time. We were in weddings all the time. And then, I don’t know if it was just perfect timing, but after having our daughter, it seemed like less and less people in our friend group were, getting married or they were already married.

We’ve gone to one since my daughter has been born and, she was only three months old at the time. And so, I feel like we’re in that lull where it’s like we probably won’t have a wedding to go to for a while, so it’s nice break, but I also like going to weddings a lot.

So, I’m gonna be a day of coordinator for a wedding this year, actually my birthday weekend. So that’ll be kind of fun. I’m excited. So that’ll probably be the next wedding I’ll go to, but I won’t be a guest. And then I was day of coordinator. Okay, now it’s all coming back to me. I was a day of coordinator last January for a wedding.

That was really fun. But I’m working, I’m running around for those. But any who? Story number four. This one’s gonna be good. All right. She says.

Dress Shopping Disaster & The Rehearsal Dinner Ultimatum

I’m getting married in late April of next year. Back in June, I set up two wedding dress appointments.

My sister who lives across the country, two of my bridal party, my soon-to-be mother-in-law and father-in-law, and my mom and aunt were all planning to come down and be there. For context. My mother had planned an engagement party for us when my sister visited with my niece for the first time last September.

It was more of a shared event so that my sister-in-laws who were also visiting could meet our family. My aunt from both sides were also there. We had to beg my family to take photos of my fiance and me at the event, but we laughed it off. We were still so grateful they planned something for us. I sent everyone handwritten thank you notes. afterwards. When I began wedding planning, my mom started acting oddly. She never really asked if I needed help, but instead consistently brought up things that she didn’t like about other weddings, including my sisters. 

This is what we call unhelpful advice. When all you say is things you don’t like and just start complaining about things, that’s not helpful because. That only teaches the bride to be critical of herself and question everything that she does because she’s like, oh, is mom gonna like it? Oh, she seems to like hate a lot of things, right? She sent me suggestions for things she wanted to see at our wedding. When it didn’t fit what we had wanted, I would politely decline, but always thank her for her input.

As we booked our venue in my fiance’s hometown, his mom kindly offered to plan the rehearsal dinner at a small historic inn in town. The Inn only seated 25 people max. We were grateful for her help and loved the venue, but after counting parents, stepparents our wedding party and their plus ones, which is traditional, we were already at capacity.

The only extended family invited was my fiance’s uncle, who is our officiant. A few weeks before everyone came down for dress fitting, I called a video chat with my mom sister to explain that we couldn’t invite any extended families to rehearsal dinner. My sister said it made sense. Traditionally only you invite extended family if there’s room after immediate family.

And the wedding party now, we’ll obviously continue. I have some different feelings about this. I am more someone you picture who you want at your rehearsal dinner first. Then you try to find well within your budget, right? Then you try to find a venue to support that. Because I’ve been to weddings and been a part of weddings where they’re like, well, we want this venue and we can only fit 20 people, so now we’re down to 20.

And then you have to make cuts of important people that you want there. And me, I look at it the other way. I’m like, people first. venue second, budget first, obviously you wanna think of your budget, but I would never personally, like if I have people flying in for the wedding, I would never leave ’em out of the, re rehearsal dinner.

That’s just me. I feel like you should invite everybody that’s flying in or like immediate family flying in or in your wedding party, but I know people have different opinions on that. Okay.

Then, she said her sister had a rehearsal dinner at a brewery that held 60 people, so she was able to include more. I explained to my mom that ours just couldn’t accommodate that and even sent her a wedding etiquette article to help. My mom didn’t have a traditional wedding and never planned one, so I thought it might help her understand.

My stepdad reassured me that she understood and she would explain it to my aunt and that it would be fine. Something tells me it won’t be fine. My mom had mentioned that she wanted to help with the wedding in some way since my mother-in-law had offered to help with my dress. I gave my mom the same opportunity.

I told her my budget and what the deposit would look like, both the minimum and the maximum. And also discussed having lunch with two of my bridal party members, which she offered to pay for. I even sent her the menu and after confirming everything was okay, I made the reservation. Well, somewhere between that call and everyone arriving for dress shopping, my mom and aunt had worked each other up.

They thought I was being rude to my aunt who helped pay for the engagement party, which I did send a thank you for, that I was being selfish asking my mom to pay for things. My sister knew they were upset, but they didn’t tell me until we picked her up for the airport. She did tell her friends and husband that she expected drama but hoped it wouldn’t happen. So they’re all talking about her behind her back saying like, this is nasty or this is bad. There’s gonna be drama, you know? Oh my gosh. 

We picked her up at four in that day and had a three hour round trip and no time off work. My fiance and I were exhausted. That same day my mom and aunt arrived at our home. They were apparently upset that I didn’t offer them coffee or food immediately, which my mom would bring up later. But again, my fiance was at work and I was running on fumes. The next day we went dress shopping and had lunch with two of my bridal party members and my mother-in-law.

There was an odd tension the whole time. One of my bridesmaid later told me she noticed my mom and aunt whispering about the rehearsal dinner during lunch. Oh gosh. At the end of the lunch, my mom didn’t offer to pay for the other women as discussed. They kindly paid for themselves without complaint.

She is some very good storyteller. She gives a lot of great details. We moved on to the dress shopping and found a beautiful gown that night we had dinner and dessert with everyone, family in-laws and friends. As I was helping serve coffee and cake for 10 people, my mom started yelling at me front of everyone to get her coffee without ever offering to help.

Oh my gosh. Out of nowhere. I asked her to please be patient. We were going as fast as we could. Why can’t she get it? But this was all happening in front of my friends and my fiance’s parents. It was so embarrassing. My mother-in-law who lives outta state and wasn’t aware of all the drama, took this as a moment to ask me a few rehearsal dinner questions and showed us some pictures she took of the inn. She was being helpful and including my mom and aunt in the conversation. Thankfully, my friends were in the other room because my mom started dramatically making faces and sat beside my aunt who responded. With only one word answers. The mood was awful. 

So they’re feeling some type of way and just being like cold and standoffish without actually like communicating, even though she’s trying to communicate to them, that just makes things like so much worse. 

The next morning at 7:00 AM I got a text from my mom saying she wanted to speak privately. We had a group breakfast planned with both sides of the family, and she showed up early to catch me. In front of the others, she told me that my aunt’s feelings were hurt, that she wasn’t invited, and that I should quote unquote, do the right thing by either adding her or disinviting my little friends. She put that in quotes too. That is insane. For the record, my wedding party and I are all in our thirties. She said I was being disrespectful and ungrateful. She claimed my mother-in-law clearly expected my aunt to be invited. She didn’t and brought up again how my aunt helped pay for the engagement party.

I get the hurt feelings and I get it’s uncomfortable and I get, she probably expected to be there. I don’t know how close she’s with her aunt, but dictating that you need to be there. Or saying like, I need to be invited. Do the right thing. That’s not a right or wrong thing. Like I said, we all have our opinions on how we personally would do it, but like I said, I’ve been to weddings where rehearsal dinner is very small and that’s it.

But every family’s also different, different, I personally, if I had an aunt flying in, I would have them be at the rehearsal dinner. I do that for my own wedding. So, I don’t know. I wouldn’t say it’s the right thing and, to uninvite little friends because obviously she wanted them there and they were part of the wedding party. Oh my gosh. 

She said I made her pay for my dress and the lunch that the restaurant was too expensive that I should serve people better when they come to my house. I was so hurt and overwhelmed. I walked out to the deck in tears. My fiance followed me and told me what she had said, or, and I told him what she had said.

He was stunned. He couldn’t believe how cruel and irrational she was being. My mom and aunt left after that with my sister. I stayed behind with my in-laws and my mother-in-law helped me while I sobbed. It was the first time I had ever cried in front of them, and I was beyond embarrassed about my family’s behavior.

To wrap it up, we went to one last dinner before my mom and aunt left town. My fiance paid for that too. My mom and I didn’t speak for a week until I called her and confronted everything. I gave her most of the money back for the dress and the lunch. She said there was fault on both sides that I hadn’t communicated well enough and told me I was in your corner until I read the article you sent. It said, anyone who pays for the engagement party should be invited over other guests. 

Oh my gosh. So even if the article did say that why is it the one thing she’s pulling? She’s literally saying, this is etiquette. Like this is all who I want to invite to the party. She held onto that. I’m glad they’re having like communication now, but it sounds like the mom just didn’t really wanna hear her, and I feel like once the aunt came in and realized she wasn’t invited, that’s when she’s like, no, no, no.

I need to be invited. This is not done. This was not right. She said, I reread the article a dozen times. It never said that I couldn’t find any etiquette source that did. The mom is literally trying to. I don’t know what the right word is. Coax her into thinking that that’s what it said, because that’s so specific too.

Anyone who pays for the engagement party should be invited over other guests. Like what? I doubt that’s a thing because that’s such a specific thing. that’s, I don’t believe it. she said, so am I crazy or did I make a terrible mistake while planning my first wedding? I mean, at the end of the day, it’s your choice what you wanna do.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong in it. Like I said, every bride’s gonna do it differently. It depends on your relationship with the person, the budget, location. you specifically only want that one location that has room for 25 and you’re like, this is what we’re doing, we added everyone up, that’s it.

Then that’s your choice. So you can’t really do anything right or wrong. again, if it were my wedding, I would do it a little bit differently. I would include the aunt, but I don’t know how big her family is. Maybe if you include that aunt. You also then have to include her husband and her kids and, their other cousins.

And their other aunts. I don’t know if it’s just one aunt. I’d be like, just include the aunt. The best I got from her was a half apology. She later told my sister she wouldn’t be planning anything else for me like the bridal shower. Luckily, some of my friends are stepping in, so I don’t miss out on the experience.

But honestly, that weekend, which was supposed to be joyful and focus on the wedding, was completely overshadowed. Oh my gosh. So that was, crazy. I feel like it was one of those where there’s a miscommunication, and people see how it should be their own way, they’re afraid to like.

speak up, but instead of just communicating, they’re gonna hold a grudge. So I think the aunt got her all upset about it And then they just, completely took it from her. Oh gosh.

All right guys. Well, that was a crazy episode. Thanks for hanging out with me but if you guys love this episode, do me a huge favor and tell a friend about it. Share it. because, you word of mouth is just the best way to get it out, and it’s just a fun new little segment we’re doing here.

 I’d love to hear from you if you guys, have an idea for an upcoming episode, a new theme, something you’ve seen in, the media. Let’s talk about it. thanks so much for hanging out with me.

Until next time, keep the drama fun and the champagne flowing. Bye guys.


The Best of the Best: Brides, Betrayals, and Shocking Moments

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

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Ever wondered what happens when your maid of honor ghosts you before the wedding? Or when your vendors vanish right after the ceremony?

In this solo episode, we relive the wildest guest submissions from Here Comes the Drama, and trust—these stories are chaotic, cringey, and completely unforgettable:

From unexpected RSVP dropouts to emotional fallouts with best friends, I walk through the most jaw-dropping stories that left couples speechless, and sometimes, in tears. Whether you’re planning your own wedding or just love the mess, these listener tales offer both caution and catharsis.

And yes, we’re naming names (well, not really)—but we are talking about the friend who asked for a dress budget… then didn’t show up. Buckle up for the confessions that didn’t make the seating chart.

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Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

01:28 Wedding Chaos: Would You Rather

07:00 Personal Wedding Stories

10:54 Top Five Moments

27:39 Navigating Awkward Family Dynamics

28:17 Fiancé’s Support and Confrontation

30:26 Mother-in-Law’s Silent Treatment

32:33 Fourth of July Weekend Drama

34:26 Wedding Day Tensions

36:32 Reception Chaos and Aftermath

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • Maid of Honor Vanishes – One listener shares how her MOH disappeared before the wedding—and never explained why.
  • No-Show Vendors – A couple pays in full for vendors who left immediately after the ceremony with no warning.
  • Ghosted by a Guest – A friend confirms attendance, asks about the dress code… and never shows up.
  • Mother-in-Law Cold Shoulder – One bride describes how her MIL ignored her while she walked in wearing white.
  • Unexpected Plus-One – A groomsman brings a date who tries to break into the groom’s suite.
  • RSVP Regret – Brides reflect on the pain of rearranging for people who backed out last minute.
  • Dress Paid, Friendship Lost – A bride pays for her friend’s dress, who then stops speaking to her.
  • Bridesmaid Burnout – Emotional stories from women who sacrificed time, money, and mental health for other people’s weddings.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  • “Weddings have a sneaky way of showing you who’s really in your corner.” Christa Innis
  • “The drama doesn’t always happen at the altar—it’s in the group chats, RSVPs, and dress codes.”Christa Innis
  • “Sometimes the most thoughtful thing you can do is say no to being a bridesmaid.” – Christa Innis
  • “Family dynamics don’t magically fix themselves because you’re getting married.” – Christa Innis
  • “Being asked to be part of someone’s big day is an honor—but it shouldn’t cost you your boundaries.” – Christa Innis
  • “I was standing in the kitchen while everyone else had a seat at the table.” – Guest
  • “The bride didn’t even acknowledge me—just grabbed the mic and started yelling.” – Guest
  • “I skipped the wedding and lost a friend, but I couldn’t afford to go into debt over it.” – Guest
  • “They cut people from my side just to fit more of theirs.” – Guest
  • “I cried over missing her bachelorette—but that hurricane showed me I wasn’t supposed to be there anyway.” Guest

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of, here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis, and this is a solo episode today. If you guys are new here or new to listening, I do one of these every month other than the Patreon episodes, which is completely separate. but I thought we’d do something a little different this month and because we are,

 seven months in of doing the podcast and it’s just been so much fun to create. I thought today we would do something a little different and highlight the top five moments from all the episodes so far. And I’ve seen podcast use before where they share like a little snippet, but I want you guys to feel a little like it’s still a unique episode.

Okay? So at the very end, of course, as always, it’s gonna be a brand new story. But before we get to that, I’m gonna do top five moments with different guests on the show and play the clip from that episode and introduce it as to. Why it was just such a crazy moment. these are moments that had our jaws dropping.

 I honestly had to do some double takes because I wasn’t sure that they actually happened, but they’re insane. we get some crazy stories sent to us and this is just a thank you episode to everyone that submits stories to who listens and shares with their friends because it just means so much to me that I’m able to hang out with you guys and, do what I love here.

Would You Rather Wedding Fails + My Wildest Bridesmaid Moments

So. Thank you guys. Starting off, I know it was a little bit of a ramble, but hey, if you’re used to hearing me talk, I ramble. Sometimes it’s just the way it goes. Starting off, let’s do. Some would you rather. Wedding Chaos edition. I’m talking bridesmaids, brides, all that kind of stuff. so here we go.

Would you rather, and I’m gonna answer just, I dunno, I haven’t read these. We’re gonna see what happens. Would you rather your bridesmaid shows up in a white dress or your maid of honor roasts you in her speech? I’ve talked about this before. I could not have cared less if someone in my wedding or someone at my wedding wore white.

 I think white dress would be fine. I mean, if it’s not a wedding dress, I don’t really care. People know who the bride is. Okay. Trip down the aisle in front of everyone or drop the wedding cake right before cutting it. I think I’d rather drop the wedding cake tripping down the aisle. I would be mortified.

A cake. You know, you kind of laugh it off. We got other desserts. It’s fine. Would you rather have a makeup fail in every photo or forget to change out of slippers and walk down the aisle? Forget to change outta slippers, obviously, because that sounds really comfortable. I myself didn’t even wear, no, I wore heels for the ceremony only, and then I put on sneakers.

So that’s how I feel about shoes. I really don’t care. would you rather sit next to your ex at the reception? So I’m guessing it’s not my own wedding. Hopefully that’d be kind of weird. Or let your mother-in-law plan the seating chart. my personal, I would love my mother-in-law to plan the seating chart.

She’s super organized. She’s great at that stuff. so yeah, I would definitely rather my mother-in-law be involved with the wedding and help with that. ‘ cause she was very involved in my wedding. She’s super crafty, super organized. So yeah, I got lucky with that one. Okay. Would you rather go over your budget by $5,000 or have your outdoor ceremony completely rained out?

This is easy for me because it was kind of rained out. at our venue, we had an option to get married inside, which we loved. And there was an outdoor courtyard, so if it happened to be warmer or nice, we could get married outside. But we woke up and it was pretty chilly and I think it ended up raining during the ceremony.

we weren’t really counting on it though, because we got married at the end of March and where I live, it’s, you never know what you’re gonna get. You could be in seventies or you could probably, you could be in like thirties. I always joke about our wedding day. It was like every kind of season. We woke up, it was sunny, it was like maybe forties, then we had some rain, we had some clouds, and we even had some snow.

So we got all of the seasons. okay. Would you rather find out your bridesmaid is proposing to her boyfriend at your wedding or learn someone secretly brought their own cake? Probably bring their own cake. I mean, why not? Who cares if you bring your own cake? I mean, people have dietary restrictions.

Maybe they wanted something that they could enjoy gluten-free or dairy-free. Would you rather lose your dress in transit or your wedding accidentally scheduled on the same day as a major family event? Ooh. See the planner in me is like, well, how would that happen? Because it wouldn’t be that major if like other people are RSS v ping to the wedding that are in my family.

So I would just say the second one, how I mean. I don’t wanna lose my dress in transit, so we’re gonna go with that. It’s funny. So I am in my closet. If you guys don’t know this, I recorded my closet. If you’re watching the video, literally a bridesmaid. I should do a bridesmaid. You guys, I know I can’t, you can’t comment, but I have a bridesmaid robe in here from when I was a bridesmaid.

I should show you guys maybe in a video on social media or something. All the stuff I have from being in weddings. So I talk about it all the time, but I don’t talk about like personal stories a lot. But I have probably three or four, robes in my closet, guys. A DHD oh my gosh. I like, I forgot I was doing hot takes, whatever.

Okay. I have four, five bridesmaid robes. I’ve got two bridal jean jackets. Those were, that’s a story. That’s for my wedding though. I’ve got a bunch of like. Stuff from my bachelorette party when I was engaged and guys, I probably have six bridesmaid dresses. The weddings I were in in the beginning of my bridesmaid career are long gone.

 sorry if you guys are listening. they were dresses I would knew I would never wear again. I think that’s probably the first three or four bridesmaid dresses are like, were donated. So. Sorry guys, but I have a bunch of other ones in my closet right now that I’ve been telling myself I’ll wear again, dunno if I will or not.

We’ll see. okay. Sorry guys. Back to where I was. Let me know if you guys think I should do some kind of video on all that stuff. I don’t know. Okay. Would you rather have your officiant call you the wrong name? I read a story about that once or your wedding video go viral for all the wrong reasons. Ooh, those are both like E, those Sting.

I would say officiant. Call you the wrong name. ‘ cause with my name with Krista, I’ve been called the wrong name my whole life. I’ve gotten Crystal. Christina, Chrissy, Christie. I kinda just brush it off. So I think I’d rather do that. I don’t want my wedding video to go viral for the wrong reasons.

‘ cause I’ve seen that. I’ve seen that. And it’s not fun. It’s not fun. Okay. last one. Oh gosh. Would you rather catch your best man doing a drunken strip tease or get a text the morning of the wedding that your DJ quit? DJ quit. I highly recommend DJs obviously, but worst case scenario, if a DJ called, quit or whatever.

Tons. All my friends have great playlists on their phone ready to go. We got Spotify. I know it doesn’t replace the announcement the DJ can do. we loved our dj. He did a great job, but worst case, I do not want my best fan doing a dance on the floor like that. Okay. Let’s get into it. I think another episode, I wanna talk a little bit more about the weddings I’ve been in.

 I’ve shared little stories here and there, but it’s funny, I was thinking about reflecting on different weddings I’ve been in and I was like, I don’t really have that many of crazy stories. I do, what I can kind of share right now. The first wedding I was ever in, was my sister’s wedding, and I was the maid of honor.

I was. 19 or 20 years old. So that looked way different from the last wedding I was in. The last wedding I was in, I was 30, how old am I now? 30. I’ll be 35 when this episode comes out, sharing a little detail about myself. Gosh, I’ve been weddings over last, well, the last wedding I was in, I was pregnant, so I was probably like

  1. when, the last wedding I was in, I was six months pregnant. Completely different scenarios. Right? That was for, a friend of mine, my husband’s cousin actually, and I was a matron of honor in that wedding. Maid of honor. Maid of honor. So, what I can say is with the first Wedding I was ever in.

I didn’t really know what to expect, right? So I’m underage, I can’t like plan a crazy bachelorette, that kind of thing. the bridal shower was at my parents’ house, so we kept it really small. This was kind of before Pinterest and all that stuff. So it was very simple. It was fun because it was family. my sister had a pretty, I would say, small wedding party, right?

My speech, I like took time. I wrote it all out. I made sure it sounded, you know, very like heartfelt. I was also in college, so there was a lot going on, right. I go to get my speech, I wanna say I was second. Yes. So the best man goes before me, had nothing planned. He stood up and just went on a whim and just.

Started talking. I didn’t have a clock in front of me or a phone in front of me. I don’t know how long he talked, but I wanna say he talked for like 10 minutes and no one cut him off. And it was someone that I think in his mind was like, oh, I know all these things. I’m gonna say I got three points.

I’m gonna go with it. And then it just kept going. So meanwhile, I’m sitting there and I’m getting more and more nervous because you know when you’re ready to talk and then they just keep pushing it back. You’re just like, okay, okay, I’m ready. I’m ready. So eventually I stood up to talk and I had a printed piece of paper, and I remember shaking the whole time.

I felt like I was giving like a school speech. I looked out here and there to the audience, but most of the time I was just like staring down. yeah. So then the last one, like I said, I was six months pregnant and. gosh,, it was a really fun wedding, but I wish I would’ve asked for more help because here I am, like on the floor trying to move her dress and like train behind her with my big belly, and I’m on the shorter side.

So when I was pregnant, it was like I had a big belly. Guys, I’m not afraid to say it. It was just really hard to move. So I’m like trying to get down these, in these heels. and it was not easy. Doing all that, but it was fun. it was fun to be in a wedding pregnant, however,

It was interesting going dress shopping. You had to find, I guess, a certain one. Then you try to get it fitted around it. Right. But as my mom says, it’s way better now than when she was pregnant as a bridesmaid. They just didn’t have the flattering styles to fit your pregnant belly, I guess she would say. But there’s like 10 weddings in, no, like eight weddings in between all that. So maybe one episode I’ll kind of share some highlights about each one. They’re all just different. Every bride is so different to what they need, their audience, their family.

The type of wedding I’ve done very DIY weddings. I’ve done something from like. Campsite. Like we literally were at a campsite, not a bridesmaid. I was just there helping, where we picked wild flowers and it was very chill and laid back and we could wear just like sundresses all the way to like a super expensive, fancy wedding in the city. 

 where we took a bus around the downtown getting photos and that just felt so elegant. and. They all end up beautiful. So I know I’m going on like a little tangent now, but just kinda reflecting back, okay, let’s get into it. Top five moments. I didn’t have anyone vote on these. It just kind of based on like downloads and then me looking at the stories again and being like, oh my gosh. 

Top 5 Wedding Chaos Moments

Yeah, that was a insane story. So these are like top five. I wanted to hear from you guys though. Which one yours were like the. Craziest. Okay, so coming in at number five is when Cassie Harrell Wedding Pro cast came on for the social media screaming match here. It’s

When we announced that we were engaged on Facebook, oh gosh, everyone seemed very happy about it.

Then I started to see angry faces and a lot of negative comments. My mother-in-law commented saying, how effing, the actual word, effing dare you announce this without asking my permission first? not on a public facebook post

Cassie Horrell: This is terrible.

Christa Innis: So bad. then it only got worse from there. She proceeded to call me names and tell me that I wasn’t good enough to marry her son.

Oh my gosh. all while she was commenting, my sister-in-law was calling and yelling at him about how they should have had a family meeting about allowing a woman with kids into the family.

Cassie Horrell: What?

Christa Innis: I felt sick and unwanted. That is terrible. Family meeting.

Oh, my gosh.

Eventually we get to planning the wedding and his mom had made it very clear that she did not want any part of helping plan the wedding. We tried to include her many times, but she would just keep saying rude things about how my wedding didn’t need to be the center of every conversation. So my husband is from a really small town and we went there for the Fourth of July.

This was the first time I would be meeting his dad and step mom, his brother and sister. Yes, the same sister that was calling and yelling at him. It was a good time, and they were very interested in all the things that we had planned for the wedding. Okay, so it seems like some family member was like,

Cassie Horrell: this is turning around.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Cassie Horrell: Maybe.

Christa Innis: Maybe. His dad told us that we had an allotted amount of money to use, and that if he needed anything beyond that, his mom would have to help us. his mom would have to help us. the dad’s ex wife. so it was the day we went dress shopping and because we had so many bridesmaids, the place was a full house.

Everyone was having the best time. Then we felt a shift in the energy and my mother in law walked in just the gray clouds.

Cassie Horrell: Here we go.

Christa Innis: She was extremely upset that no one Picked her up to bring her to the bridal shop. She sat down and shouted, Let’s get this thing over with. I don’t want to be here all effing day.

Cassie Horrell: She seems nasty.

Christa Innis: Yeah, why even invite her? Like, I would be like, No, you’re not coming. Cause I wouldn’t even want someone’s opinions like that. My mom looked over at her and asked her to leave then if she didn’t want to be there. Yeah. Then she said, She’s been married before, so I don’t know why she even needs to buy a dress.

Cassie Horrell: That is terrible.

Christa Innis: I hate that. She could have gotten one at Goodwill.

Cassie Horrell: No.

Christa Innis: Okay, that is terrible.

Cassie Horrell: This lady’s a witch.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I ignored the comments and started trying on dresses. There wasn’t a dress I tried on that she didn’t have a rude comment about. I would be telling her to leave at that point. That is, yeah, that’s so like unenjoyable.

I finally found the one and loved it and it made me happy. Later that evening at dinner, she tells my husband. I found the dress that hides my arm flab the best.

Cassie Horrell: No, this is bad. I don’t know who this woman is, but this is bad.

Christa Innis: This is bad. This is like one of the worst stories I’ve read. Oh my gosh. The night of my rehearsal, my mother in law sat there complaining the whole time how she had to sit at the same table as my father in law.

She kept saying he better not talk to me. Then finally my brother in law shows up late and my mother in law demanded that I allow my brother in law’s wife in the wedding as a bridesmaid.

Cassie Horrell: Excuse me?

Christa Innis: At the rehearsal dinner? Okay. She was supposed to be my bridesmaid and then they broke up and I guess they got back together the week of the wedding.

Surprise. Okay. They called me many times that week and never said anything about it so I was a little taken aback by this. My mother in law told me that she was told to bring the dress and that she would make me let her be in the wedding again.

Cassie Horrell: This is the mother in law said that again

Christa Innis: my mother in law told me that she told her to bring the dress with her and that she would make me let her be in the wedding again.

Cassie Horrell: Okay. So force this girl into the wedding.

Christa Innis: Yeah. and make my other bridesmaids sit out. Wait, so that’s even worse.

Like, we’re just going to swap you right in there.

Cassie Horrell: This is terrible.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. I told her I wouldn’t allow my other bridesmaid who paid money for the dress to sit out and they would both have to walk down the aisle together. That didn’t make her happy and she told me to just tell my bridesmaid that we would reimburse her for the dress and she could sit down and enjoy herself.

Cassie Horrell: I again told her absolutely not. She got upset and called me a spoiled witch. I’m a little taken back by this woman.

Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s hard because it’s like I’m not in that position, so it’s always different when you’re in it, but I’m just like, I could not stand to be around someone like that that’s constantly mean like that and just trying to control everything.

Cassie Horrell: Also, I’m a little confused. why isn’t the partner standing up to his mom or like being a little bit more supportive here? Because it wasn’t one instance. This is like 20 instances.

Christa Innis: Yes. Like he needs to be like. guarded security at this point, blocking her, because yeah, that’s too much.

 we finally get the rehearsal done and everyone left to go to my brother’s house where we were gonna have pizza. My sister in law made rude comments about how we could only afford pizza and not a real meal.

Cassie Horrell: Oh

Christa Innis: no. Let me tell you, we had pizza at our rehearsal dinner and it was still expensive.

Everyone loves pizza. There’s no problem with pizza. Exactly. No one complained. At least not to our face. My parents shelled out over a thousand dollars for this meal. It’s what we chose as it feeds the most. And it was easy as my husband was having his bachelor party the night before the wedding.

Cassie Horrell: Yikes. Sewing

Christa Innis: scrims, man. Yeah. No, I don’t know if people still did that. Yeah, no, no,

Cassie Horrell: no.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. yeah, so he had his bachelor party. It was a terrible idea, by the way. But that’s a story for another day. So we all had pizza and us girls all left. We told my mother in law three times before we left what time our hair and makeup appointment was the next morning.

And we were almost done when she and my brother in law’s wife showed up to get ready. She said, how dare I get ready before the mother of The groom. What? I cannot believe the audacity here.

Cassie Horrell: Yeah, she’s out of line. Yeah.

Christa Innis: When everyone was ready to go to the ballroom and get ready for pictures, she was mad that we were leaving her.

Well, you should have been there on time.

Cassie Horrell: Yeah.

Christa Innis: We were on a strict time frame. We told her that my sister in law needed to be there by a certain time for pictures. She never got there in time for pictures and it snowballed from there. My mother in law ruined our first look, not surprised, by accidentally getting mud all over the bottom of my dress.

Oh. Accidentally. Yeah, how did that happen? She wouldn’t smile in any pictures. Oh my gosh. so later that night I heard someone say that my mother in law was telling everyone that my wedding was unclassy and tacky. And that clearly we didn’t have any money to buy real things. Why do people feel the need to make comments like that?

Right,

Cassie Horrell: keep it to yourself.

Christa Innis: Yeah, like, come on. Oh, and yes, then the arm flab comet came up again that night. I’d slap her. I’d slap her. Oh my gosh, that is terrible. Like, never comment on someone’s body, but especially not a bride on her wedding day. Exactly. that is not okay. And that night she walked by and pinched my arm and said, You should really work on that.

It’s gross.

Cassie Horrell: No. This could be like a whole series. This is like the series of Unfortunate Mother in Law. I don’t know what this is.

Christa Innis: all right. That was wild. All right. Coming in at number four is Rebecca Rogers and the Surprise Wedding Guest.

On the morning of my wedding, the bridal party was getting ready in the bridal suite the groom was getting ready in the groom suite. One of the groomsmen didn’t follow instructions and showed up two hours late with a different girl than who we RSVPed for. Okay. This, this girl had a very strong Russian accent.

went into the groom suite and started talking to the groom and asking questions. For example, is this a yee-haw wedding and will you be doing square dancing? Okay. Interesting. I mean, I guess like switching, I get it. Like, girl, it doesn’t really matter, but it’s interesting. Oh, wow. Okay. Okay, go ahead. Go ahead.

 the boys kicked her out and told her to wait somewhere else, and she came then to the bridal suite. She came in and started acting faint and sat at a table demanding attention from all the bridesmaids. They were taking care of her because they were worried and had a hard time understanding her because of her accent.

When they turned away to finish getting ready for the day, she ate my lunch, the bride’s lunch, the audacity. There was no more food left until after the ceremony, so I went to my wedding hungry see I’m a big, like weddings that I’ve been in and like helped coordinate. I am big into like no one other than the wedding party be in the room.

Like, yeah, why was she in there? Yeah. I feel like it’s probably the groomsmen that wasn’t paying attention. Being like, oh, just go in there. You’re fine. You’re one of the girls. ‘ cause I’ve seen that. Yes. That’s what I can see that,

Rebecca Rogers: yeah. okay. I could give her the benefit of the doubt in the groomsman suite.

I could give her the benefit of the doubt and I’m like, ah. She’s just, you know, I think there are such stereotypical views of Americans in different parts of Europe. Mm-hmm. I can see her like genuinely getting excited. Is this a yha yha wedding? Because like everywhere is Texas.

Yes. People in Europe don’t understand that, they think cowboys, they think McDonald’s. they have very specific ideas of what they think America is. Yeah. And. Sometimes when they’re like, oh my God, am I going to be able to experience this American thing that I only see on tv?

Like, they can get excited it can come off as rude because I feel like, especially in, Eastern Europe, sometimes people are much more blunt than we’re used to here in the us. which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s just different. But then the going into like weddings, wherever you go, the bride is the star.

 why are you demanding attention as a guest? That should be common sense. Yes. Why are you going and bothering people you’ve never met before? Like if, right. I can even maybe see like a, Hey, we don’t want you to mess up with the setup. Stay in the groom suite. Why are you sending her? I can see why a man, I love men.

Some men are dumb. Not all men. Always a man. Not all men, always a man. Yeah. Why is some man being like, yeah.

This is not babysit your girlfriend time, Tinder, chick of the week. Like Right. You could have been just, she could have even been established as a new serious girlfriend. It’s not everyone else’s job to babysit her. That’s weird. That’s strange.

Christa Innis: Why, did you have to bring someone? Like if she had

nowhere else to go, why did you bring her?

 yeah. Especially being a groomsman. I feel like you’ve got your guys there, you got other stuff to do. All right, let’s, right, let’s see what happens next? So she goes to the wedding hungry at that point. Oh, wait, that’s not all. Oh my God. Okay. Sorry. I’m sorry. Oh my gosh. You there was the whole story, girl.

We’ve got lots.

Rebecca Rogers: Okay. Okay. Okay. Continue. Continue. So Molly, okay. Okay.

Christa Innis: At that point, she got kicked out and was told to wait in the ceremony space wedding, and sues with no other problems until the reception. During the reception, the girl tries to enter the bridal suite and the groom suite where the wedding planner catches her and tells her that it’s locked until after the wedding.

No one is allowed in except for the bridal party. Okay, good. I’m glad the wedding party planner is there now. Right? The girl on top of this Exactly. The girl retrieved her groomsmen and they tried picking the lock to the groom suite. What, For what? Why does she need to get in there? Yeah. A friend of the groom went and found the planner to let them know the girl was trying to break in the groom suite because the groomsmen was with her this time.

They unlocked it for them and was told they were changing. So the planner left to take care of the couple. Wait. They told them they had to get in there and go change. I’m so confused. They

told

Rebecca Rogers: the planner, Hey,  I’m a groomsman. I need to get into the groomsmen suite.

I have to change my clothes so that Okay. And they unlocked it and left.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. So, oh my gosh. That’s stressful. I’m sweating. It says they did the deed, That’s where I thought this was going and left the place in absolute

Disarray. A huge mess. They then left the wedding early, and we didn’t find out about the mess until after our families went in to clean up the suites and pack everything up. We felt very disrespected by this, so I personally texted the groomsman the next day to ask him why he brought a stranger. First of all, without talking to us about it, that he RSVP’d for was his girlfriend of a year that we knew.

So there we go too. why? He left her to wreck havoc upon the bride and then disrespected the place by basically destroying it. oh, so he brushed off the communication and mentioned that he barely knew her, but that she was a family friend. No apology whatsoever. I was then talking to my bridesmaid about everything that happened with her, and we found out the groomsman parents paid her to be his escort and get him to break up with his girlfriend.

That is not where I thought this was going. Wait, what? His parents paid her to be his escort,

Rebecca Rogers: First of all, if you are a man who is easily swayed to break up with your girlfriend of a year, ‘ cause of a fancy accent and some excitement, throw the whole man away. Throw the whole man away. In my opinion, full stop. Obviously we don’t know like what kind of issues were going on in his relationship. Right, right. We have no idea. Yeah. She could have been a toxic girlfriend. We don’t know. Right. The whole thing just screams gross to me. Why?

 

Rebecca Rogers: shocked that I’m like, I can’t even find my words.

Christa Innis: I,

Rebecca Rogers: the last sentence, I

Christa Innis: just, the last sentence says, they also paid for her expensive designer clothes for the wedding, then paid them to have an expensive hotel that night. All right, coming in. Number three is Suzanne Lambert and the Lake House Pantry Showdown.

so she called me in the kitchen and she said, aren’t you just so happy I’m going to be your mother in law and not insert difficult family member here. So she’s blocking the name out. I looked her in the eyes and said, I don’t know if this is the person’s real name, so

Barb, I’m okay right now. But if you keep pestering me about things, I’m going to the venue. I’m not going to be okay. I added, this is my boundary. She didn’t seem to the time. But, oh, did she later.

Suzanne Lambert: Okay, Therapy. I love that. Yeah, we love boundaries.

I would love if the fiancé was setting some. and I’m annoyed on her behalf that she’s having to do it all herself. But I’m very proud of her for saying that. That’s not easy to say. Bye bye. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Especially when you’re being cornered because it sounds like she’s alone with this mother. why is no one around?

And that’s what they

Suzanne Lambert: do. I feel like people like this, they want to get you alone at your most vulnerable where you don’t have a chance to really think things through. So that’s impressive thinking on your feet.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. I would be like shaking in my boots. I’d be like, is this actually happening right now?

I’m that person that in a scenario, I’m like, Why is this happening? And a minute later, I’m like, why didn’t I say that? I should have said that. Or as I’m saying it, I’m like, you know what? And boundaries that I’m like, shaking. And I’m like, that’s okay. I’m like,

Suzanne Lambert: Ooh, maybe we shouldn’t have gone that hard.

Maybe we take a deep breath. My yoga instructors, like generator response, you feel powerful choosing. And I’m like, generator response, you feel powerful choosing when I’m like wanting to spout off. So we all have our struggles. Yeah. I probably would have been like, Yeah, I don’t know, crazy family members sounding pretty good right about now, and like, it would have started a whole thing, so.

Christa Innis: Yeah, My fiancé and I discussed how upset we were with the day, okay, so now, now he’s around, and how comfortable she had made things.

 he was very supportive and felt the same way two days later, he called her to address it, telling her that her behavior was unfair and made everyone uncomfortable. She exploded saying, is this why I’m going to change her name again? Is this why Kelly doesn’t like me?

And hung up. She then gave us a science by right. Like the, yeah, the girl that wrote the story. Yeah. Okay. huh? what gave it away? Like, are you

Suzanne Lambert: acting? so there’s it’s so funny because like mother in law’s like this. a level of awareness. Like, they get there, right? They get, oh, Kelly doesn’t like me, but they don’t see any of the lead up to anything they could have done.

They look at it as a spontaneous event.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Suzanne Lambert: and all of a sudden she didn’t like me. And it’s like, are you forgetting the a hundred things you did before she reacted the one time

Christa Innis: or the time that they finally like snap back. they’re so mean. I don’t do anything wrong.

And it’s like, that was like the story I read yesterday. I’m like, Oh my god, this victim mentality of like, why would she say that to me? I’m just your mom. I just care so much. It’s like, no, that was not the full story. No,

Suzanne Lambert: because if you cared, you, would be like, oh my god, I hurt your feelings. I’m so sorry about that.

that’s a normal way to do. Can you imagine like if someone called you and was like, Hey, at our engagement party, you made us feel bad and sad and whatever, like you would be horrified because you’re a normal person. Imagine like. that’s why they don’t like me?

Christa Innis: Oh my god. what?

Suzanne Lambert: I don’t understand.

And, like, if she had been like, oh, that’s why she doesn’t like me, that would be like such a different thing. Like, oh, okay. I didn’t realize how annoying I was being noted. You know? Won’t do it again. sometimes you need a little kick in the ass to be oh, I’m like acting a weird way. Yeah. But that’s wild.

And then to hang up, I don’t believe in hanging up the phone, especially on your own son. Right.

Christa Innis: this is a long one. I love this. Sorry, Nellie, but I’m living for this. This is crazy. Okay. She then gave us a silent treatment for three weeks. I bet it was a really nice three weeks.

Suzanne Lambert: That sounds lovely. That sounds like a vacation. Yeah. Silent treatment. That sounds ideal. She should do that more often and with others in her life. I would imagine. That is beautiful.

Christa Innis: Best case scenario. I feel like in these scenarios, just keep it going, please. She even ignored my fiance’s birthday, which is weeks after the incident.

Normally they every other day. So this was very shocking until then we had no issues. And I thought our relationship was fine. Her behavior was hurtful, especially to my fiance. Thankfully his who witnessed everything supported us agreeing that his mom’s actions were out of line.

Suzanne Lambert: We had a wonder if the aunt is on the dad’s side or the mom’s side, cause that also kind of changes things a little bit.

It’s her sister. Hopefully the aunt is going to her being like, You’re being nuts. If it’s the dad’s sister, she’s like, Oh, I’ve seen this from this from the beginning. One of us wanted him to end up with her. Like, we all wanted him to end up with the other girl, you that dynamic is interesting, too.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I know. Like earlier at the party, I think she said the mom’s sister or the on the mom side. That’s

Suzanne Lambert: worse, honestly. your own sister being like, yeah, but again, hope the aunt is going to the mom. Like, if I saw my sister acting that way, or if they saw me acting that way, they would be the first to be like, hey, cut it out.

Christa Innis: Exactly.

Okay. We had a 4th of July weekend planned at his family’s lake house, and she was supposed to join us.

She didn’t show up until the weekend was nearly over. When she arrived, there was no warm embrace, no belated birthday wishes for her son, just coldness. It’s like, why even come? It was incredible. Yeah. Awkward.

Suzanne Lambert: Cause she wants to have her Real Housewives moment. She thinks she’s on Real Housewives of Orange County, with a dramatic show up.

Girl, no one was worried. Yeah. No one was worried. They were like praying you didn’t come. the silent treatment, the weekend without you, where we’re just like, chillin eating hot dogs, waving flags, like, it was all going really, the vibes were high, like, yes.

Christa Innis: yeah, she wanted to come in with the sad music, everyone’s like, oh no, what’s, wrong with Barb over there?

A fur coat.

Suzanne Lambert: Yeah, like, mope dramatically around the house. Puffin and puffin Like, what we would do when we were like, sleeping. Seven and like our parents made chicken for dinner and we didn’t want chicken that’s what she’s she wanted spaghetti She didn’t want chicken. So now she’s making it everyone’s problem.

Yeah.

Christa Innis: Oh my god. So true my fiance I decided we needed to address this. He pulled her aside in the pantry while I stayed around the corner I love, like, the sour cream and onion chips

Suzanne Lambert: listening in,

Christa Innis: you know? That seemed like the best

Suzanne Lambert: spot.

Christa Innis: Funny

Suzanne Lambert: setting conversation. I love that she added that in.

Christa Innis: Yeah, the pantry,

Suzanne Lambert: it really sets the scene. It’s like, this is dire. This is a dire situation.

Christa Innis: That was the quickest spot. He started by saying we wanted to resolve things, but she exploded again. She accused us of keeping the wedding a secret because we wouldn’t share the venue address. A narrative she created.

She claimed I had promised to send it to her and didn’t, saying she didn’t do shit. At that point, I stepped in the conversation and said, Well, it’s my turn to enter now! Okay. And just a little note, guys, that was the one we did the follow-up episode where the original person that sent in that story came on and shared her site even more. So if you’re looking for some more detail on that, check out that episode. And number two was with Saron oba, the Las Vegas letdown.

On wedding day, I went to brunch with girls from both sides of the family. My mother in law ignored me completely. Even when I greeted her, I brushed it off and enjoyed the day. This mother in law hates her. I would be like, you can’t come. This is terrible. Like, why would you want to feel like a stranger or unwanted at your own wedding?

Saron Olkaba: She just has the worst energy. She’s she’s gonna try and ruin your day. I would hire security, give them a picture and That would be it.

Christa Innis: Yeah, because it’s not her right to be at this wedding.

 

Christa Innis: I’d be like you’re done. Sorry.

I don’t want you there. She’s a guest. She’s a guest. Yeah, you are nothing more than a guest who could easily be scratched right off. at this ceremony, my sisters told me that my fiancé’s family had taken up the front rows on both sides of the pews. My mother in law refused to move, saying her parents can find another place to sit.

No, so now she’s rude to, her family.

Saron Olkaba: this would not be, go well

Christa Innis: for me, or, or, like, cause now you’re gonna be, like you said, you’re gonna be dealing with this mother in law for the rest of your life. if it’s bad now, imagine if they have kids, or if they buy a house, you know, any step in there,

Saron Olkaba: I don’t understand why anyone would sign up to deal with that forever.

Like, You’re asking to be miserable for the rest of your, what man is worth that? What man is worth having to deal with the devil day, no.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I really hope this ends with they cut her off. Like, they’re done with her, I hope. Fingers crossed. cause that’s the only way this is gonna work, I feel like.

okay. So she said she had to move. I had to ask the officiant to step in and remind everyone which side was for the bride’s family and which for the groom’s. This made my mother in law furious. After the ceremony, during photos, the photographer suggested moving one of my fiancé’s siblings to my side to even things out.

My sister in law loudly said, Hell no, I’m not going over there. I ignored it. At the bowling alley reception, my mother in law Who are these animals? Who

Saron Olkaba: are these beasts?

Christa Innis: I don’t know, why do they think they’re so much better than, her and her family? Oh, God. Jesus. I’m speechless. This is probably one of the worst mother in law stories I’ve read.

And I’ve read a lot. At the bowling alley reception, my mother in law refused to sign the guest book, despite me and my husband asking multiple times. When she finally did, she just wrote congratulations with no warmth, and she left without saying goodbye.

Saron Olkaba: Like why? That’s the nicest thing she’s done thus far.

That’s the most pleasant been in this whole story.

Christa Innis: Yeah. The next day, my mom invited us to lunch before she left town. My mother in law didn’t contact us, but took my husband’s brothers to go karting and sightseeing instead. When my husband asked why we weren’t invited, she said, you were busy.

We weren’t. Two days later, I made a Facebook post about the wedding and saw that my mother in law had untagged me from her earlier post. When my husband asked why, she said, it was a post only for you.

Saron Olkaba: Ew. Do you wanna fuck your son? Like, what is going on here? Why? I’m sorry, curse here? Yeah, you’re fine.

I’m a

Christa Innis: little late to ask that question, but. Redo! No. Yeah, it’ll be fine. I don’t know. That is, yeah, why? I don’t get these mother in laws that hate their daughter in laws so much thatthey don’t care what they say, like no one’s good enough for their son.

I don’t, know what it is.

Saron Olkaba: It’s enmeshment. I think that’s the word. no, it’s emotionally incest, even worse. Yes. No, that’s creepy as hell. Right.

Christa Innis: There was this skit, I don’t know if you watch SNL. did you see, oh, who hosted the Timothee Chalamet one? No, I haven’t seen it.

This last weekend? Okay, you have to watch it, but there’s one about that, but it’s like extreme, like the Oedipus Complex. It’s about like Mother’s Day and like the sun being like, hey mom. I don’t know,

Saron Olkaba: I’m horrified that I’m going to be looking this up just immediately after we get off this.

You need to.

Christa Innis: It was cringe, but I was like. It’s like way over the top, but it was like some of these moms, yeah, I could see it. I find

Saron Olkaba: it, once you meet this psycho mother in law, right? and you see that this man sees nothing wrong with their relationship and kind of encourages it and won’t ask her.

How are you still attracted to this man that might want to fuck his mom? Like,  how do you not get the ick immediately and run away from, like, self preservation?

Christa Innis: Yeah, cause my thing is, this is not the first time something like this has happened. She had of given signs before they got engaged, or when they first met, I’m thinking, like, first dinner at a parent’s house.

Every girlfriend

Saron Olkaba: had a book before

Christa Innis: him, before her. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, like, what were the signs before? Yeah, because it wasn’t like, oh, they’re engaged now, they’re serious, now my real, like, craziness is gonna come out. Like, I feel like she had to have treated her poorly before this.

Saron Olkaba: Right. And the sister in law is also a as well.

Christa Innis: Yeah, what’s the deal with that? Okay, three days after the wedding, she texted my husband saying she wanted to talk about my behavior at the wedding. What? He told her he wouldn’t have that conversation without me there, and she refused. A few days later, she blocked me on social media and deleted my husband?

So what her behavior was like having boundaries and like, No, expecting her

Saron Olkaba: parents to be able to sit in the front row. Yeah. And not allowing the friend of a co worker of her neighbor’s nephew to come last minute. Those were the things. Right. Those were the things.

Christa Innis: Those are really harsh to have.

I mean, maybe blocking on social media and deleting the husband is like the best thing, because then you guys can’t see her on social media. I wouldn’t have said a thing

Saron Olkaba: about that.

Christa Innis: I would have

Saron Olkaba: said,

Christa Innis: great. I’m like, awesome. Yeah, you saved it. saved me from doing it. When I tried reaching out, she called my husband crying.

Here we go. The victim saying she’d been crying every day because of how I treated her when he defended me like a good, she hung up because she realizes he gone. he’s not backing you up anymore, crazy mom. He is now

Saron Olkaba: someone else’s husband. Not yours.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Not yours. Finally, my husband texted her saying she had two options.

Have a conversation or lose him. She replied, I guess I won’t be seeing you anymore then. I mean, I would say hallelujah.

Saron Olkaba: I would be like, I’m so sorry, babe. Yeah. It’ll be like, we’ll, we’ll get this. It’s just trying to keep my face straight. Okay.

Christa Innis: I know. I feel like the petty in me, I’d text her, I’d be like, well, have a great life. Best of luck. Yeah. Honestly, I’m relieved, you know, and I really hope they don’t contact her.

And I hope it’s just like left that way because like we were saying, this mother in law would make her life a living hell. And number one for the craziest wedding story I ever read on a podcast episode was with Pile Desai wedding brawl disaster.

Fast forward to the wedding and reception. The ceremony went well, but the reception was a complete disaster. Her parents went through the wedding gifts and cards to pay my boyfriend for his DJ services.

Payal Desai: Oh my

Christa Innis: God,

Payal Desai: that’s so

Christa Innis: kki. That’s so, this is why, and I’ve said this before, it’s like when you hire friends, they’re looking for like a little discount? Mm-hmm. Or they just not as, I don’t know, professional.

Payal Desai: I don’t think like friends and business ever mix, No. No, they don’t. That’s a no for me.

Christa Innis: You need extra like contracts in place or to really make sure it’s someone that you want to work with, but most of the time it’s like, yeah, no,

Payal Desai: it just gets mucky.

It gets mucky, and then you’re trying to go through cards to pay. Dj,

Christa Innis: the number of stories that I’ve read about people hiring friends for photographers and vice versa. Mm-hmm. And then they ended up with no photos or they ended up with crappy photos ’cause it was someone just starting out. Like, no, we’re not doing that.

Guys.

Payal Desai: well, and with a friendship or even like with family, like a falling out could occur. And so why would you if it’s a professional and it, you don’t have like a relation to that person. There’s a contract and you abide by that. But a lot of times if you’re working with a friend, like you may forego the contract ’cause it’s like, oh, we don’t have to make it all official.

Like you’ll just do it for me.

Christa Innis: there was a lot of animosity between her family and ours the entire night. If my family was ever on the dance floor, which was most of the night, her family stayed away. What is the deal? Also, I feel like if something like that happened where they kicked out someone for announcing a pregnancy, I would already be like, this is weird.

Like, I don’t know. Especially like it’s his sister being kicked out of the wedding.

Payal Desai: Yeah, when

Christa Innis: you pick up your family and be like, why are you kicking my sister out for announcing a pregnancy?

Payal Desai: do you think that there’s like an obligation to, including like your husband’s female?

Uh, family members in the wedding party. ’cause I don’t think, there is no, like, if you don’t have a closeness with them, like you should not feel obligated. ’cause I feel like when you do, this is the kind of stuff that happens. Whereas if you’re just like, Hey, I’m marrying into your family, you’re marrying and into my family.

Let relationships happen like organically and over time people become close or they don’t, but like, just including them for optics is kind of a problem, I think. Yeah.

Christa Innis: As the night went on, my boyfriend played our family song and everyone was having a great time.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone shove my grandfather. Okay, what’s going on here? After that, all hell broke. Loose fights erupted all over the hall, tables broke,

Payal Desai:  and there was blood everywhere. What? That’s awful. Wait. That escalated so fast. I’m like, what happened? Like, so I feel like there is like a piece of this story missing where there was some like conflict or tension that is not being shared because there’s no way that.

It went from like kicking somebody out of the wedding and then everyone’s angry at each other. Two sides, of the family are not interacting, engaging. Dancing together, celebrating, and then all of a sudden it’s like a bloodbath. What? Yes. No, I’m like

Christa Innis: picturing it like, Romeo and Juliet right now, or like the two sides are like battling.

Payal Desai: and it started off very innocent. Like, hey, like they, chose the wedding party, we’re all in it, we’re excited, and then boom, like.

Christa Innis: I don’t know what the heck. This is insane. It says the bride’s mom got into my face for no reason. Mind you, I was only 18 at the time. She went to shove me, but I was pulled away.

Why are people just shoving people here? what is happening? Someone threw my mom to the floor and broke my boyfriend’s custom built speakers, like, oh, no. Someone threw your mom to the floor, pushed your grandfather, like this is the most violent story I’ve ever read. Yeah,

Payal Desai: that’s awful though. Like think about that couple,

Christa Innis: they can never get their families together until they have like a full family therapy session or something.

Yeah,

Payal Desai: that’s terrible. And you imagine it probably causes a conflict between them two. Because one thing that I will say is like. When you get married to someone like you come from very different places, right? Like you’re raised by different parents, and so there’s always going to be At least a little bit of conflict, right?

But like you are more willing to forgive and understand your family’s behaviors and they are as well. this is just human nature. And so if there is a big family conflict, like it’s hard to maintain like what you have with your partner, but then also not be a pushover for your own family.

delicate balance, that’s

Christa Innis: all. Oh, for sure. ’cause if he was like, oh, like Uncle Bob, you don’t know his humor. He just, made a little joke, you He’s like, oh, he’s, just so crass, whatever, like, you know. Yeah. It’s like, oh, but Aunt Mary’s the nicest woman ever. Like, you don’t know her stuff.

Right. You know? And like

Payal Desai: you don’t really know these things intimately about your spouse’s family, so you’re not as forgiving. I don’t know. Oh my

Christa Innis: God. That’s crazy. Okay, wait, there’s a little bit more. it says the sheriff’s or state police arrived. It turned out, the bride’s parents had told my cousin his new wife to leave, leave the reception before everything escalated.

Family Feud Over Wedding Invitations and After-Party Drama

So they had no idea what was going on. Okay. So like I said, those are some crazy stories. If you did not hear the full stories of those, go back and check ’em out. We’re gonna put the links to the full episodes in the show notes. You guys can check them all out. But I’m so curious to hear what you guys thought were the craziest episodes.

Tell me on social media, DM me. Post it in my Patreon, whatever suits you best. and as I promised, we are gonna do an exclusive story because I just couldn’t do, I couldn’t fathom the idea of sharing a new episode without a new story in it. I know the whole point of sharing some highlight episodes is so I can like take a week off, but I just felt weird about doing that.

Okay, here we go. This is my soon to be sister-in-law story. She had sent out invitations for her wedding and used the traditional Catholic phrasing for how the bride and groom were listed. It’s hard to explain, but if you know, you know, I think that’s when the parents. Names are introduced on it, if I’m remembering correctly.

 like the Mr. And Mrs. Invite, like the wedding of their daughter to so and so. I think that’s what it’s okay. While the groom’s parents were extremely offended by it, they said it made them feel unimportant and caused a huge issue. Then they came after me telling me how my wedding invitations better not be phrased the same way.

Whoa. Okay. So why her sister-in-law? Why would they come after her? Mind you, I had no intention of doing it that way. I had just been confirmed Catholic and everyone else in the family had already been raised in the church. This all happened before her bridal shower, which of course became another issue.

The bride and groom had planned for everyone at the shower to head over to the bride’s parents’ house afterward for a small after party, just a casual thing, maybe 30 plus people. The groom’s mom shut it down immediately. No, we are going to my brother’s house after you two or just the groom need to be there.

What, why are they so upset about it being at the bride’s parents’ house? This is another one where it’s like the parents are competing with each other because of some hidden reason, right? Like there’s a just story I just read where it’s about money. There’s another story where I have read where one felt like the other one had more control, but they won’t just come out and say it.

It’s also hard when it’s not your wedding, right? So. Depending on their relationship with their son, maybe he’s not relaying all information to them, so when they’re feeling left out, I don’t know. It’s hard. I’ve never been in that position, so I don’t know what that could feel like. The groom replied, we live 20 minutes away and they’ve never even invited us over before.

The bride’s parents have been planning this after party for over a month. Okay, so what ended up happening? My fiance, me the groom and his dad all went to the uncle’s house. Meanwhile, the groom’s sister and mom went to the bride’s parents’ party and were confused and upset when the rest weren’t there.

Wait, I’m so confused by this story, so you’re telling me. Last minute just because his parents demanded it. They ended up going to the uncle’s house,

but the groom’s sister and mom went to the bride’s parents’ house. That’s so weird. Why would they do that?

Miscommunication, PTO Battles, and Overstepping Parents

Okay. Sometimes reacting in real time is hard because I’m still piecing like the puzzle pieces together. I’m only like getting part of the story too sometimes. so that’s my first reaction. What the heck is happening here? Okay. Fast forward to now, the groom’s parents are insisting on using their PTO to come visit, even though the couple explained that they had used their PTO for the year.

Between their own wedding, honeymoon, other family weddings, and my wedding. So

they’re talking about events that are coming up still. So the person that wrote this is currently engaged. There’s a bride and groom’s wedding that’s coming up, and the groom’s parents are the ones that are kind of causing an issue in all of this. Don’t like the wedding invitation. Something on there offended them Probably because I think it’s like the bride’s family is introduced, right?

And it’s like the daughter of so and so is getting married too. Right? So they were offended ’cause they’re not like the main name on it. then they’re mad because they want everyone to go to their house after there was a plan for over a month.

But it’s just weird that part of the family decided to go, okay. Still, the groom’s parents were offended saying they felt unimportant and never got to see their son. Keep in mind, they live three hours away. The groom manages a PT clinic. the bride is in law school working at a firm, and their schedules are packed.

That’s hard when you live three hours away. That’s really hard. I don’t know if the parents are working as well or if maybe they’re retired. That’s probably a little bit easier for them to go to them. However, not something you really have to plan for. I know like my parents live just about an hour away from me, so we have to make an effort.

Like we have busy schedules, but you have to make it work. However, we don’t know this relationship. We don’t know if he wants to make it work or, I don’t know. Three hours is a lot. Maybe they can do a zoom call. but the groom’s parents still try to force FaceTime calls at random times that don’t work for them.

Now, week of the wedding, the groom’s parents are insisting the dad give a speech at the reception. Oh, you knowgo. You guys know how I feel about someone insisting a speech. Traditionally, the groom’s family can give a speech at, the rehearsal. I’ve seen that many times. Not always. And then typically it’s like the bride’s dad or family does it at the wedding.

I’m all for throwing traditions out the window. You don’t have to stick to your Traditions. But insisting, I don’t know. It’s hard. ’cause I feel like there’s like a lot of heart. It sounds like there’s a lot of communication error. The groom’s parents miss their son, they wanna see him, they feel.

Being pulled away. However, they’re just going about it the wrong way. and I just never feel like you should insist, like, Hey, he needs to speak. Maybe he’s gonna say something inappropriate. Maybe he doesn’t know his son well enough to speak about him. Maybe he doesn’t know the relationship. Maybe he doesn’t support the bride and groom.

So if you are personally not asked by the bride and groom, don’t say you’re gonna give a speech. I’ve seen it happen so many times where. Someone that wasn’t supposed to give a speech stands up and gives a speech. Someone tells the bride and groom, Hey, I’m giving a speech. And sometimes they work out great, but I feel like a lot of times the bride and groom’s then pushed into a corner.

So they say yes when they don’t really want to. okay. The bride explained that the dad already had a planned speech at the spot, at the rehearsal dinner. So here we go. Since there were already two maid of honor speeches, a best man speech, a short message from the priest and her dad’s speech at the reception.

So kind of like what I was just talking about. So they were like, Hey, you can absolutely speak, but we’ve reserved it for the rehearsal dinner, the groom’s mom responded with. So no one’s going to hear the groom’s dad speech. Mind you, there’ll be almost 70 people at the rehearsal dinner, and they’re mostly from the groom’s side of the guest list anyway, so we’ll see what happens.

And yes, I’ll send another story. If anything wild goes down this weekend. Oh my gosh. I kind of wanna quickly see if this person sent me another story.

Speeches, Hurt Feelings, and the Line Between Tradition and Control

Okay. They haven’t yet, so we’ll have to do a follow up and see what happened. I wanna get my feedback though on this, or my comment on this. If you really care about your son and you’re really excited about giving a speech, it’s gonna be for your son and your future daughter-in-law. It’s not gonna be for everybody else.

And if you’re pushing more like, oh, well, no one’s gonna hear my speech. Your son is gonna hear your speech, the person that it really matters about, and there’s still gonna be 70 people there. I guess not the main setup, but if someone asked me to do a speech at the rehearsal, I would be honored. I’d be like, that means so much to me.

 so again, I’m reading this as there’s a lot of hurt going on. There’s a lot of miscommunication. And, they’re not really going about it the right way. It also sounds to me like the bride and groom probably aren’t making it a priority. I mean, they live three hours away. They seem to be kind of living their lives.

 and again, I’m only getting this much detail, so I don’t know what went on or if they’ve always just been closer to the brides family. And that’s hard. That’s hard when. One set of parent is closer to the bride and groom, or the couple, because the other one sees them kind of like, dwindling away or they kind of feel like they’re being pushed out.

But, there’s a lot going on here is what I’m saying. Alright, well that’s pretty wild. I am gonna reach out to this person and see if there’s a part to the story. They sent it a month ago, so it happened a month ago.

We’ll see if anything wild happened during the wedding weekend. I would hope the groom’s dad just accepts it and just gives the speech at the, rehearsal dinner. Who knows. I don’t know. I’ve seen it. Like I said, I’ve talked about this before. I’ve seen it before where people push to give a speech, and it doesn’t always go great.

All right guys. Well that’s all I have this week. Thanks for hanging out with me again. This was just a very special episode to kind of reflect on everything so far. It’s been so much fun to create this for you guys and just hang out. The stories I get are wild, and it’s just fun to kind of react with you guys.

 if you guys don’t follow me on YouTube, YouTube’s where I put the longer content, I don’t really talk about that a lot on here, but obviously I do the skits, and I do some one-off reading on, TikTok and, Facebook, Instagram, but YouTube every single week I do release a long form video.

 and I say long form where it’s, it’s like 10 minutes, but I do read other YouTube or other story submissions there as well. So if you can’t get enough, we got more there and I got more on my Patreon once a month as well. So thanks for hanging out with me and I will see you guys next time. Bye now.


Baby Bumps, Brawls & Breaking the System with Payal Desai

She wore the same color as the bride—intentionally. Payal Desai joins Christa for a no-holds-barred conversation on gender expectations, cultural clashes, and the wild moments that weddings bring out in people.

From viral videos on dismantling patriarchal parenting to surviving chaotic family traditions, Payal shares what it’s like to raise sons in a world obsessed with “mama’s boys.” She even dishes on the unexpected wedding sabotage she experienced firsthand.

This episode dives deep into family roles, wedding faux pas, and why boundaries are the real bridal registry essential. Get ready to rethink what’s “normal” at the altar and beyond.

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month! 

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

02:33 Breaking Gender Norms and Patriarchy

06:17 Wedding Drama and Toxic Traditions

10:53 Personal Wedding Stories and Etiquette

17:11 Navigating Online Criticism and Trolls

28:57 Challenging Traditional Gender Roles in Marriage

31:44 Discussing Cooking and Household Roles

32:54 Generational Perspectives on Gender Roles

34:14 Personal Stories of Independence

36:08 The Value of Stay-at-Home Moms

38:05 Wedding Story Submission

46:23 Wedding Planning Confessions

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • Dusty Son Series Origins – Payal unpacks the viral moment that sparked her mission to dismantle toxic gender expectations.
  • The Color Clash – Someone close to Payal showed up to her wedding wearing her exact dress color—after being told not to.
  • Wedding Traditions That Go Off the Rails – Learn how fun customs can turn violent when underlying family tensions boil over.
  • Cake Smash or Red Flag? – Why some “playful” wedding moments are actually warning signs.
  • Mother of the Groom Drama – A deep dive into the overbearing “boy mom” trope and why it needs to stop.
  • Navigating Internalized Misogyny – Payal shares how her early marriage exposed unexpected insecurities—and how she overcame them.
  • Thank You Notes & Gendered Labor – Who’s really responsible for post-wedding etiquette?
  • Creating Equity in Marriage – From laundry to lasagna, Payal and Christa get real about modern partnership dynamics.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  • “Why are we putting all the pressure on the bride? Thank you notes aren’t gendered.”Christa Innis
  • “If you need a bridesmaid to hold your boundaries, get her.”Christa Innis
  • “We don’t need to stick with tradition if it’s rooted in discomfort.” – Christa Innis
  • “The day you get married shouldn’t feel like performance art for everyone else.” – Christa Innis
  • “I thought wedding content would be niche, but it touches everything—boundaries, parenting, even gender norms.” – Christa Innis
  • “If my content offends you, ask yourself why—what is it bringing up?” – Payal Desai
  • “I wasn’t going to let anyone take my moment, no matter what they wore.” – Payal Desai
  • “We have internalized misogyny, and it shows up in the smallest domestic decisions.” – Payal Desai
  • “The wedding doesn’t make the marriage—no matter how big it is.” – Payal Desai
  • “Being a stay-at-home mom is unpaid labor, but it has value—and we need to talk about that.”Payal Desai

About Payal

Payal Desai, known online as @Payalforstyle on Instagram and TikTok, is the creator of the viral “Dusty Son” series—a hilarious and honest look at breaking down traditional gender roles, starting at home with her own sons. Her content has racked up millions of likes and caught the attention of major media outlets and talk shows for its bold take on everyday dynamics within families.

A sharp-witted cultural commentator, Payal uses humor to spotlight the invisible labor women carry and to challenge outdated expectations with unfiltered honesty. There’s no dramatic backstory—just a mom calling it like she sees it and making a lot of people laugh (and think) along the way.

Follow Payal Desai

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hello. Thank you so much for joining me today.

Payal Desai: Thank you for having me. I’m super excited for our conversation.

Christa Innis: I am so excited. I’ve been following your content for a long time now, and I think, and we’ll get into it, but I feel like there’s so much, like so much important messaging that you have mm-hmm. In your content, and that is one of the reasons why I thought it was so important to have you on. But before we get to all that, can you just introduce yourself, who you are, what you do, and we’ll kind of get into it.

Payal Desai: So I’m Payal, my handle on socials is Payal for style and I am a teacher. I taught for 16 years, teacher turned content creator.

This is my first year out of the classroom doing my content full-time on TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube. And I really focus on, dispelling breaking traditional gender roles and norms. And challenging, ideals of the patriarchy. I have two boys and so I don’t believe that those things in society benefit them.

And so we do things very differently in our home, but we’re trying to normalize it.

Christa Innis: Yes, I love that. And that is why I thought you were so perfect for this because a lot of these, like crazy wedding drama stories I see have to do with Mothers of the Groom and not to point. Mm-hmm. Because I know people get really offended by that, but I think it’s really important.

The message that you share about teaching your sons and how they can treat, you know, like empowering them in different ways of like. Not just mama’s little boy. Mm-hmm. Do no wrong. Boys will be boys. So I think you have such important messages that people need to see.

Payal Desai: Yeah, absolutely. And my, my question to that would be like if you are, ’cause a lot of people are very offended by my content.

If you’re offended, ask yourself why. Like, why. what offends you? Why does it upset you to bring up these topics of like, mothers who are overbearing or say things like, my son will be my slowest heartbreak. Like, what? Why are we need to talk about that? That’s not healthy. And yeah, so. We need to ask ourselves those questions too.

Christa Innis: I know. I was just saying to someone like I do a mix of like when I share like different wedding stories, I do a mix. Like one might be like a bridesmaid drama, one might be a mother of the groom, one might be a stepmother, and when I post mother of the groom, I get messages sent to me that are like, how dare you just target mothers of the groom?

You know, there’s drama with other people too. Or this is exhausted, they’ll like comment that’s not like, why are you. Offended though, because if I see Yeah, a video about like a Bridezilla, I’m not gonna be like, oh my gosh, why would you talk about this? Because I’m like, I didn’t act that way, so I don’t mm-hmm.

I don’t feel offended. But I think it’s such an important topic of this like, boy, mom. Of, oh, the bride’s not good enough or, yes. putting them down, or like, my son’s a prince, he can do no wrong.

Payal Desai: Mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: but the daughter, you know, it’s, it’s her fault.

 

Payal Desai: Yeah, absolutely. Like I have the series that went viral for me was the Dusty Sun Series and the original video that I had.

Scene was a mom teaching her son how to cook so that your dusty daughter’s Stouffer’s lasagna won’t impress him. And so I saw that and I was like, what are we doing? Like already you have this hypothetical daughter-in-law that you are demeaning and putting down, you don’t even like your child is. Five years old and you’re teaching him how to cook so that some girl in the future who’s dusty, can’t like, who isn’t capable of taking care of him.

What? So I saw that and I was like, we’ve gotta flip this narrative like that. We need to empower our boys. To take care of themselves. Yes. But we also need to empower them to respect their partners. And so I just wanted to flip that whole narrative and now the series is like over two years strong because there’s a lot of ground to cover.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. It’s like there’s so much learning from it, but I feel like there’s still, it’s like, there’s like a hard area of like, I dunno, hard. Shell to crack, I should say. There’s still some people that are like, won’t see that way. of like how it can be very toxic to, raise their sons to think like, you can do no wrong.

It’s, you know. Mm-hmm. It’s up to your standards. Like, of course we should have standards, but like, that’s not just a man thing. Like we should all have standards for our right course. but I think it gets very, very construed. Absolutely. I agree. So let’s talk like jump right into some different crazy stories and some wedding hot takes.

So starting off the bat, do you have any kind of crazy wedding stories, either things that you’ve seen or witnessed or had at your own wedding?

When Wedding Traditions Turn Violent

Payal Desai:  Mm-hmm. Yeah. So, in Indian traditional weddings, one of the traditions is that the bride side will, steal the groom’s shoes as they are entering the ceremony.

And the way that the groom then retrieves his shoes is by paying like the bridesmaids, the cousins, the sisters, the family. He is like kind of earning his way back into the family and. This is supposed to be a very playful, fun tradition. Usually like everyone knows it’s gonna happen. So like there, you know, you steal the shoes and then you get kind of chased around and then the groom finally eventually like hands off the money, gets his shoes back.

But when there are underlying tensions, this can get. Like violent. And I have literally been to a wedding where there were underlying tensions. I don’t think that everyone in the room wanted the marriage to happen. And when it came to that point, like it was a brawl. It was a brawl like it was. Fists being thrown, like people on the floor.

 yeah, it was awful. And it just, you know, it was not the joyous moment that you would think it would be. so clearly it revealed that there was a lot of tension in play.

Christa Innis: That’s what like a lot of those like traditional things, like I was just talking to some of like how the bouquet toss can sometimes get that way too.

Mm-hmm. Where I feel like it’s like either built up Yes. Or like these, like women like have rivals with each other. or men at the wedding or like, oh, for during the, garter toss. Like, I’m gonna put Yeah. Guy outta the way and they get violent. ’cause it’s like, that’s.

I don’t know. It’s like their time. They’re like, oh, it’s okay though. this is tradition. It’s allowed.

Payal Desai: Yeah. Or even like one that I’ve seen lately, like pop up on socials is like a little different, but it’s when the bride and groom are feeding each other cake and like when the groom like takes icing and like smashes it or like puts it all over her face or, it’s just like red flag, but like too late because the ceremony’s over and so.

I feel so bad for those women because I just think it’s like a precursor. Like that’s not funny. Yeah, that’s not funny.

Christa Innis: That is, that’s looking to embarrass you. Yeah, and they’re like almost inserting their dominance now being like, ha ha. Because I saw one too where it was like they had literally talked about it for the wedding, so she must have already had some kind of gut feeling or a red flag of being like, he might do this.

Hey, I don’t want you to do this. I’m not comfortable, or whatever. And he still did it. And then you can see the resistance, like you can see them like fighting. Yeah. And you’re like, what hap okay, if this happens in front of all these people, what’s happening behind closed doors?

Payal Desai: Exactly. If he’s gonna publicly humiliate you on your most important day, one of the days, you deemed to be your most important.

Right. Man, I can’t even, so, yeah.

Christa Innis: I feel like that also, it’s like those, I have, there’s like speeches by grooms that I’ve seen that you’re like, they’re using this as like a way to like. Almost, it’s like they didn’t wanna get married, so they’re gonna make a speech about like, oh, she’s so lucky to have me.

Like, I just saw ve where the guy, all he did was talk about like him being there with his boys and never once said, my wife looks beautiful. He literally looked at her and goes, you look all right. Yeah. It’s not funny. Oh, that’s his humor. Like, I don’t think so. Like that’s not the time. Mm-hmm. Like, tell your wife she looks beautiful on her wedding day.

Like, I don’t know.

Payal Desai: Yeah. I mean, I think that if you are. Worried or concerned about the way that your partner is going to behave on the day of the wedding, and that’s like a foremost concern for you. That in itself is a red flag. Yes. You need to think about why you are so concerned about what even if like alcoholism in play or whatever like.

Why, why is this an issue? Like it shouldn’t be.

Christa Innis: Yes. No, absolutely. If you are concerned that something’s gonna happen or

Payal Desai: Yeah,

Christa Innis: like maybe let’s ask ourselves what’s going on here? Becausefeel like so many times in these stories that I see, it’s like they’re just so excited to get married, which I get, it’s a very mm-hmm.

Thing, but. Let’s like not sacrifice like our own happiness just to get married and just to jump to that finish line or that next step. Because I feel like you see all these wedding videos and you’re like, oh no, they just did this to like, and now they’re gonna embarrass them and during their vows or something.

 Yeah. Yeah. What other, did you have another story that you wanted to share? Like, or anything else that you’ve seen at weddings?

Twins on My Wedding Day?

Payal Desai: Yeah, so one thing that personally happened to me, Indian traditional weddings, the bride wears red, and I chose to wear like this fuchsia pink color specifically because that’s the color that my mom wore as well at her wedding.

So I was like, oh, I’m gonna like break the mold a little bit. But it’s still like a very bright, vibrant, like. Magenta, pinkish kind of color. And so that was the color of my Ari and I was super excited to wear it. I had told a bunch of people that, you know, like my friends bridesmaids, like all of that.

Like I had told everyone that this is the color that I was wearing. So I, it’s not like it was a secret. I had shared it. Somebody in pretty close proximity to the, wedding party. I’m not going to say who showed up when we were doing family photos and had that, like when I say to the t exact shade on, I’m not exaggerating even a little bit.

Oh. And it was somebody who I had shared that I was wearing, like I had sent a photo of my pic, my outfit to, and I was just like, in that mo I was shocked, like. Twins. What? I don’t wanna be like, I trust studio. I don’t wanna be twins with anyone on my wedding day. And I was very, very upset about it. but you know, this is pre ceremony, so we’re, this is the morning of like, what am I supposed to do?

I also wasn’t going to like tell them to change, but I just was seething inside and one of my best friends was like. This isn’t on you. Like everyone’s gonna look at this and be like, what were they thinking? Yeah. Not, not, this isn’t a reflection of you. You’ve gotta remember that. And I was like, I’m still mad.

Um, so then the day went on and I had, there were so many other things that I had to obviously prioritize and focus on. And I’m very much like, I need, I wanna see the best in the situation. I don’t wanna react. Um. So I didn’t. Okay. I didn’t, and I, you know, I never really even confronted the person either.

Um, but now it’s been like 13 years. So it’s not that I’m over it, but I just like, I don’t think about it anymore. Like I, whatever. It’s just, it’s just also something like, I wouldn’t do that, you know? So, yeah.

Christa Innis: Just like, especially the fact that you shared it with this person and you were like very open about like, Hey, this is the color I’m wearing because my mom wore it.

And for them to come in, like, I feel like I’d be very like, similar to you or like, I wouldn’t wanna cause like a stir that day, even though you’re not the one causing it. But like Yeah, it’s like you don’t wanna say anything ’cause you’re like, that could just make the, the day kind of Yes. Surrounded around that.

Payal Desai: My reaction would have, and I think that this is something that happens often, like when you’re upset about something and it’s the day of, like your reaction is a reflection, right? So like, you kind of, if it’s, if you know that it’s something that has to be said, then fine react. But like, I just, there was nothing to do about this.

I, what was I gonna say? You know? Yeah. It felt like. I felt kind of like there was no point in making it an issue, but yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I know those things are so hard because like even when I do like skits of like stories that people send me, they’re like, I hate that the bride didn’t say anything. And it’s like, I get it.

You want to say something, but at the same time, it’s like if you chose that moment to like,

Payal Desai: mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: Make a scene about it. Then it just, like, I feel like then there’s just like awkward tension and I feel like, yeah, maybe you can like confront it later, but it’s like, at that point, the, the day’s over. I don’t know.

Payal Desai: Yeah. I mean, I’m all, I’m about protecting my peace, like I’m about protecting my energy and my peace. I’ve always been that way, so I was like, ain’t nothing gonna ruin my day. Like, I, I’m gonna keep vibing. I also think that that helps me to. Also own the moment. Like, this is my moment. Like no one’s taking it from me no matter what you’re wearing.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah, absolutely. I totally get that. Um, yeah, no, that is, that’s crazy. I’ve, I’ve heard of similar things happening. I’ve never mm-hmm. A wedding where, where that happens. But like, even with, um, someone told me a story where the mother of the bride came wearing like a wedding gown and no one knew. And so like.

It was like this white wedding gown that literally ma like, oh my God. It was like fancier than the bride. And, but it was like one of those things too where like, I don’t think she said anything, but it was more like everyone just knew like this mom was being outrageous. Like what

Payal Desai: is going on? There’s like, on one hand it’s like, of course you take pride in what you wear and you wanna show up to your child’s wedding looking bomb.

Like in the future, I, I, I’m a fashion girly, like I’m gonna Yeah. Care a lot what I wear to, you know, either of my son’s like big events. Right. But it’s, it’s another, um. It’s another idea to like try to show others up or try to show anybody up. And I see that too. Like whenever you have a mom of the groom, I, I follow this one woman and she had done like a series of videos where she was trying to choose a dress for her son’s wedding and the hate in the comments because like some of the dresses were like way more fashion forward or modern or like, she just looked good in them.

People were tearing her apart. And I feel like two ways about that because I don’t know what her intentions are. I don’t think she’s like, I can’t assume she’s trying to show up her daughter-in-law. Right.

Christa Innis: But I don’t know. I know people always like to assume like the worst online, but that’s the thing.

It’s like, yeah, if it was the complete opposite, people would have something to say too. That’s like how people are online. It’s great. You can never appease people online. Oh yeah. They’re just gonna like critique. Anything I’ve try, I’m like, learn, I’m like at a point where I’m like really trying to learn to like, have boundaries with like reading comments and like mm-hmm.

Say things. ’cause I, I take everything to heart and my husband’s like, you, like, you let it affect you so much. And like, so someone says something to me and I’m like, it’ll like weigh down on me. So I’m like, I’m really like learning Yeah. Boundaries with that stuff. Because like, people online, like the bullies, they don’t matter.

They’re sitting behind a keyboard trying to just Yes. Sit down. Well,

Payal Desai: honestly, a lot of trolls are like literally teenagers. I’m not lying to you, like online. A lot of trolls are like high school boys. Um, and I know that because I, I taught middle and high school. I, I know that. And so whenever, sometimes I’m like going like at dad with like a troll online, I’m like.

Is this person 15 years old and like up too, too late past their bedtime? And then he kind of gives me a little perspective and I’m like. A backup. Like you really don’t know who’s behind the screen doesn’t just, you gotta let it go.

Christa Innis: Do you think being a teacher, like really like humbled you and like, gave you like a harder exterior at all to things?

I remember. Oh yeah. Yeah. I was gonna say, one of my friends is a teacher and high school and she was like, sometimes they’ll say things where they don’t like mean to be mean, but then I’m later like, oh, like, they’ll be like, oh, I’ve never seen a style be pulled off that way. Or they’ll be, they’ll say something like, oh yeah, that’s almost like.

Wait, was that an insult?

Payal Desai: Oh my God, yes. I mean, a hundred percent spot on. Two things prepared me to like be publicly on the internet with a large audience. Okay. Uh, I’m the youngest of three. I have two older sisters. Okay. So that, that did me in and then I taught middle and high school. Yes. Like I would get my hair cut and go to school and they kids would be like, why’d you get your hair cut?

Okay. That’s not the reaction I was looking for. You’re like, thank you. Why are you wearing that? What, and it was just like, it really does like dishearten you, like, you’re like, okay. And it, we would just, I’d laugh it off like, what, what am I gonna take offense? So I find that that tough exterior really helps me.

Yeah. Online.

Christa Innis: I love the thought of, I should just start picturing mm-hmm. Comments as like 13-year-old kids and I’ll just feel like bad I’m taking, telling you you that yes, that is

Payal Desai: like, that’s a huge population that’s on the internet, so it could very likely be 18 age.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Kid. Oh my gosh, I do. I feel like it’s either that or it’s like older, like my parents’ age sometimes that leave me comments, but I’ve had a few, I’ve had a few like apologize, and they’re like, I was having a bad day.

I’m like, it’s all good. You know what? Oh, I

Payal Desai: love that. That’s always really great when like all of a sudden you’re friendly with your troll, you know? Yeah. Like I’ve had those moments too, where we like. I go back and forth and it’s like ugly and I don’t know what I, why I’m even participating in this. And then like one, one person will be like, listen, I, you sound like you’re hurting and something might be going on with you.

And they’re like, yeah, I am hurting. And I’m like, oh my God, what a beautiful connection with a draw. Right? Do you see the friend you, we need to connect. And that’s gotta be the middle school experience too, because a kid could be awful. And then like obviously the next day. I’m not holding the grudge. It’s a kid.

So you know, you like resolve and repair and move on. Yes,

Christa Innis: yes. Oh my gosh. A lesson for everybody listening. Picture them as just like a kid, just like learn

Payal Desai: growing and that’s some top tier content creator advice right there. If you are trying to be online, then like Yeah. If you go, you got a picture of the troll as a kid.

Christa Innis: Yes. Oh my gosh. I love that. Okay, let’s go into some wedding hot takes, and then we’re gonna get into this week’s story, which I’ve not read yet, but, um, I, I think it’s a doozy. It’s gonna be a good one. Okay. Okay, so, um, wedding writing, drama, debates. Um, so here are some unpopular opinions that people have sent us.

And let’s see. Um, this first one says, brides should always pay for hair and makeup if they’re offering it for their bridal party.

Payal Desai: Is it, if it’s a choice, it like, do they have a choice in it or. It’s like the bride wants them to all be uniform. I

Christa Innis: think if the bride wants them to get hair and makeup, they’re saying that the bride should pay for

Payal Desai: it. Mm-hmm. I think so, because I’ve been in weddings where it’s like, you have, I want everyone’s hair to look like this.

I want everyone’s makeup to look like this, and if you’re gonna dictate what you want me to look like, then you should probably flip the bill.

Christa Innis: Yeah. No, I agree with that. I’ve never been in a wedding where. It was like you had to get your hair and makeup done. It was always an option. So I’ve always just,

Payal Desai: mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: There’s been somewhere I’ve just done my own, but, or I’ll just pay for it. But my own wedding, I told them, I was like, I’m getting a makeup artist that’ll be there and a and a hair girl. If you guys want it, let me know. If not, yeah. Feel free. Um, that’s exactly what I did too. Yeah. I did the same. Because then it’s like they don’t have pressure and I feel like too, like, um, luckily, like, I mean, a lot of people knew the makeup artist at my wedding, like a lot.

She kind of like went through our friend group, but like, you go to some weddings and the makeup, like, it’s just, you feel, you don’t feel like yourself or you know. Mm-hmm. And especially as a bridesmaid, you don’t have like a trial. So it’s, it can be, I get it. If you’re better at doing makeup, just, just do that.

Payal Desai: Yeah, I agree with that.

Christa Innis: Okay, this next one, thank you. Cards are unnecessary.

Payal Desai: Okay, so for my wedding, thank you cards for after, right. I split it down and I was like, you do your side. I’m gonna do mine. Oh, smart. I’m not right. Okay. Indian weddings are huge. I had 500 people at my wedding. Oh my gosh. You would have like that hand cramp.

Yeah, like carpal tunnel. Carpal tunnel. There we go. Writing cards. And again, like I’m the youngest of three. My older sister, she and her wedding cards printed personalized photos from her. So she got her photographer to make sure that they got photos of like everybody at the wedding. And then she found photos of like different people who attended with them.

The couple. Printed them and put them in the thank you cards. I was like, no. Okay. Nope. Not doing that. Like, that’s like really cute and thoughtful. Not for me. Okay. So then I was like, and then I took in a step further. I was like, well, I got my side. You can take care of yours because I’m not right. Like everyth, everything for me has always been like split down the middle and I’m for love that it, it works for us, right?

Like. There was a point where I thought that I needed to, as the woman of the house, needed to do all the laundry. ’cause that’s what I saw growing up, right? Like my dad didn’t pick up any of his laundry. My mom did everything. And so I was like, when it comes to laundry, like I’ve gotta do it all. It took me like two months of being married to be like.

I’m getting my own bin. You do yours. I do mine. From that day on, like, and now the boys like, well, my 9-year-old does his own and my four year old’s learning. That’s amazing. Okay, let’s go. And my husband grew up learning how to do his own laundry too. So he was like, yeah, what we, I’ll do my own. So I was like, okay.

But yeah, it’s all these like traditional things, right? So anyway, I did send mine out, TBD if he ever sent his out 13 years ago. I really, you know what? At that point, like I’m, that’s not, I’m sorry. If you think that’s a reflection of me. No, I It’s not.

Christa Innis: It’s not. Yes. I love that you’ve said that because so many people put it on the woman and then it’s your responsibility to then double check with him, oh, did they get sent out?

Or this? It’s like, no, I. That’s what we decided. And that was it. Because I’ve, this is like a mini story, but one of my friends, and hopefully it’s okay with me sharing this, I mean, I’m not gonna say who it is, but she said when she, like first married her husband, um, one of his aunts said to her, oh, and she had something like, very traumatic happened after the wedding.

Again, I don’t wanna say details, but it was like a very, it was a, a family thing that happened. So she was dealing with a lot like two weeks after the wedding. This aunt of her husband came up to her and said like, I didn’t get a thank you note from you yet, and she was like. Um, I’ve been kind of going through a lot and the aunt was just like, well, it’s your duty to get that out to me.

And meanwhile she’s like, why don’t you ask your nephew? Like, why are you me? And it’s just like this, like pressure on the woman to be like, mm-hmm. You have to get that out. Do no mind. It’s two only two weeks after the wedding or a couple weeks after the wedding, something bad happened. You know, it’s just like, why are we putting this pressure.

Kin Keeping and Traditional Women Roles

Payal Desai: Yeah, I, I don’t buy into that stuff at all. Again, that’s called kin keeping, right? Like when you are, and kin keeping is oftentimes placed, the burden is placed on the woman to keep the family together. You’re here. So now you need to work on all the con correspondences that occur to ensure that thank you cards are sent out, or invitations or birthday cards and like, so if, I feel like if you normalize all of that right in the beginning of your marriage, like.

That’s gonna now be your task for the rest of time. And if you’re good at it, like, listen, there are, I think my sister who put the photos, personalized photos, I think she took joy in it. Yes. Do it. Yeah. I don’t take joy. I’m not doing it. You know, I, I think that that’s fine. Like if, even if it’s a traditional role, but you really enjoy it and love it.

Then for sure go ahead and do it. I’m not try like digging my heels in just because I wanna, you know, like challenge the system. It’s just what didn’t work for us versus what works for other people.

Christa Innis: Yeah, absolutely. And that all being said though, too, I am a huge proponent of Thank you. Thank you cards myself, I.

Because I, I see, I see different things all the time. It’s like if you thank someone in person, like for kids’ birthday parties, I get like,

Payal Desai: mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: Moms are busy. We, we can’t always get thank you notes out. I get that. So if you thank someone in person for a gift or they open it, sure. Like that’s, I get it for a wedding, I think for us, like.

We just like had an Excel file and like, this is how like type A I am. And I was like, I’ll just write 10, 10 a week. And then like my husband would like label and he would like, like seal and like stamp ’em or something and we were just like, let’s just get ’em out. ’cause like, but that’s really

Payal Desai: good. That’s teamwork.

I love that.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Well, and it’s funny how you were talking about the laundry thing with your husband. Like with us it was like, I would, I als also like automatically put the stuff on my plate and my husband would be like. You know, I’m here. I, I can sit here with you and do it. And I was like, you like what?

Mm-hmm. Why would you do that with me? And he’s like, because I’m your husband. I’m here. And I’m like, oh, okay. And it’s stuff like, I don’t share on my personal page and stuff, but like people, I feel like people have a feel day knowing that he probably does the laundry more than I do. He probably thinks more than I do.

Like we, we split most stuff, but like, it’s just like we.

Payal Desai: We found what works for us and Exactly. And like, if that’s what works for you, then that’s great like that then that’s really all that matters. I’ve been thinking so much, like, not to go way too deep, but like I’ve been thinking about how like everyone really has internalized misogyny within us, especially like the way that I grew up and what I saw as like, um, you know, in front of me modeled.

Everyone has internalized misogyny. And one way that it showed up in my marriage is that my husband loves to cook and he always has. And so when we got married, that was sort of the role that he just like naturally took. And um, so we would meal plan together and everything, but like then he would like really execute the dish.

And I did not want like anyone to know about this. I did not want his parents to know, like I didn’t wanna make it a topic. I didn’t wanna tell, tell my mom because every time it came up socially, like it made me feel like I. It made me look bad. Mm-hmm. Like I wasn’t fulfilling my duty. And there was even one time we hosted his family over and I made him tell them that I come to the lasagna and he was like, okay.

Like I’ll tell them that’s okay. Like I’ll tell them that you made it. And like, I had not, I had assisted, I had sous chef. I was not doing it. And like, it still counts, but like, yeah. That’s the, that. I was so worried about how people view traditional roles that,

Christa Innis: oh my gosh, I feel so

Payal Desai: seen right now.

Christa Innis: I,

Payal Desai: I still, yeah.

It’s taken me a really long time to just now proudly be like, yeah, and it, it comes from women a lot of times, like women will make snide remarks and be like, well, he’s the one that cooks. Yes. Okay. Like, if I bring a dish to a potluck with friends, they’ll be like, well, what did he make? This is my husband.

What did he make? He made a buffalo chicken dip and it’s really good. Yes. So like, the way, the tone in which it’s shared or like just giving him credit, I’m like, why? What are we doing? Like, we have, there’s internalized misogyny in us.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I think it’s too, um, couples that maybe haven’t, you know, openly have that conversation of like, you know, maybe the woman does everything.

Mm-hmm. They almost feel like. I don’t know the right word to say, but like, when they hear someone, like someone’s husband does, does do some cooking, they’re like, oh, well my husband can do that. And so it’s like an instant, like they’re angry that it’s not working out for them. ’cause, and I, I’m not gonna say who, but there was someone close to me that like, when they found out my husband like cooked dinner for us one night, they were like, like to their husband.

They were like, oh, well you never cook for me. Mm-hmm. And it was just like this like awkward moment. ’cause I was like. Uh, uh. Okay. Like, I don’t know. Yeah. Yeah. Like, he just always, like, that’s the same, like, my husband really enjoys cooking. And cooking for me has always been like second nature. Like I do okay if I like focus, but it’s just not my, I don’t find complete joy in it.

Payal Desai: I don’t, I don’t find joy. I really don’t. It’s just nothing. I’ve never really found joy in it. Um. And I think that when you are in a partnership like we’ve been talking about, like when one person has a strength and they take it on, it’s not as though he’s in the kitchen like doing everything on his, I’m like, behind, I’m cleaning.

I’m sure you do dishes. I’m sure you’re like part of it because you both have to be part of it. Yeah. So I think that when people know he cooks, they just picture me like laying on the couch. We have two children. Somebody’s giving them baths, like somebody’s doing something. There’s always something. My hands are never just idle, you know?

Um, but whenever we know that a man is taking on a very traditional role, we automatically are not. We Society is, wants to criticize that. I don’t understand it. I really don’t get it

Christa Innis: 100%. I feel like there’s so much more discourse about that now and the older generations that almost didn’t really have a choice where it was just like the, the man goes to work, he comes home, dinner should be ready on the table, maybe even like older.

’cause I. I think, I don’t know. I think my parents’ generation was kind of starting to like equal a little bit, but it’s like grandparents’ generation for sure. It was like dinner on the table when you get home. Mom takes care of the kids and so now that they’re seeing this conversation, people that I feel like.

It worked for them, and they’re like, why can’t, why can’t the wife just be cooking? Why can’t this happen? It’s like, mm-hmm.

Payal Desai: You gotta, you gotta question who was it really working for? Who was, who remained extremely comfortable in the way that it was. Like, if we wanna sit here and assume or make the, uh, statements about how happy our grandmas were mm-hmm.

Cross culture, they were not. Right. They, they were oftentimes burdened without a choice. Yes. There’s not a lot of happiness in that. Okay. So you gotta just like, be able to critically talk about these things and not just be like, why can’t it just be like traditional?

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh well. Well, a hundred percent.

Yeah. I feel, yeah, I feel like, um, I kind of had, I don’t share a lot of my personal. Life on out here. But like, I’ve had kind of like two different, like molds when it came to my grandparents. And like my grandmother I’m really close to, um, she, I don’t even know when it was, I was a kid when she got divorced, but she, she’s always taught like such independence, like she’s done everything for herself.

And so I really like. I feel like I learned a lot from her. Yeah. She was like, women can do everything. Like she was an ER nurse and she’s like, mm-hmm. I knew more than the doctors. Doctors would try to come in and they would try to, these men would try to tell me what I knew, and she’s like, I knew more than them.

Yeah. And I was like, yeah, you go girl. And she was like, you just have, she just really, I feel like, brought a lot of that, that out of me, because I’m like, yes, not tra, she’s not traditional in that way. So I was like. Yes, we need that. That’s amazing.

Payal Desai: And rare, right? Like I’m sure for her generation that was a little rare and maybe even getting divorced was not accepted by society.

’cause it, it wasn’t as common for her generation, the next generation. Yes. It became like more common because, because. Women were no longer tolerating and like joining the work for like full-time. You have two parents who are working full-time and if the domestic labor is not, if there is an equity in that, then it’s going to cause conflict as it should.

Yes. Yeah,

Christa Innis: definitely. Oh my gosh, I feel like we could talk about this forever. I love it. Oh my God. Yeah. Like I, I’m so like, passionate about it just because like. I feel like it makes such a difference in the way like. I’m able to parent because my husband’s an equal part. Mm-hmm. And I just, I, um, I feel like so many women can’t speak up about that or they’re just, we’re kind of pushed into the role of

Payal Desai: mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: And this is not, I feel like stay-at-home moms are amazing and I think they’re, if that is your passion and goal and like, do it. Yes. But so many are pushed into that role without asking if that’s what they want or if they want. More. And I know I can get on a whole topic

Payal Desai: from that. I really could too, because I think that a stay at home mom, it, we need to start looking at that as a literal job with duties.

And you would never be working somebody around the clock, right? Like you would never give them 24 7 tasks like they, they’re working overtime constantly. Other jobs do have boundaries. Usually, or you can put in place healthy boundaries. And I’m just reflecting on like my job as a teacher, which oftentimes can have no boundaries, but I had to really work to do that.

So you’ve gotta be with somebody who also understands what you’re doing is a service. It’s a job and you may not be getting a paycheck for it, but you’re saving your family money. Right. Yeah. So there is, there, there is like a financial aspect of being a stay at home mom and we need to be talking about that a lot more than we do.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. We need to be valuing it as that. Yeah. The full job that you were, you were just talking about because, um, I used to work for like a mommy brand and I worked in a mom, like mom group and so many of these women were just kind of like. Almost like put in a spot where it’s like their husband controlled every single thing.

And so it’s like they wanted that stay at home job, you know, mom role, but then they weren’t able to like have a certain amount of money or they were, and it’s like, mm-hmm. No, we like value because. By her doing this, you’re allowed more time at work or you’re allowed more time to do this. Um, and so yeah, that’s one of, one of the many issues in our society right now.

Payal Desai: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. That’s

Christa Innis: a whole other topic. Okay. Let’s get into this week’s wedding story submission.

Payal Desai: Yeah.

Baby Bombshell To Full-Blown Riot

Christa Innis: Um, this might be a long one, but, so I’m just gonna start reading it and we’ll stop and we can react or feel free to stop me at any point. Here we go. Okay. My sister and I were always super close to our cousin and his sister.

When he got engaged to his first wife, they invited my sister, his sister, and me to be a part of their wedding. We happily accepted during the planning. They asked my boyfriend at the time to be a DJ for the wedding, and he accepted. We were getting everything set up for him. We had to travel out of state for this while also getting our dresses.

During the time his sister announced her pregnancy, his fiance did not like that, and then kicked her out of the wedding. Wait, what? And their cousin, so the The girl cousin?

Payal Desai: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Her pregnancy. And the fiance kicked her out of the wedding for that.

Payal Desai: Oh, wow. That’s awful.

Christa Innis: What, so I can’t imagine like being like, we’re engaged this year, so all next year, like till next year, you can’t announce anything important in your life.

Payal Desai: Yeah. Like don’t, don’t take the, take my thunder pretty much.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my. That’s crazy. Can’t imagine that. Okay. We traveled for the wedding and arrived a few days early so we could attend the rehearsal. During the rehearsal dinner, they handed out gifts to the bridal party. Only our cousin and our family spoke to us, the bride, to be barely said anything to my sister or meet the rehearsal or the following day.

Okay, interesting. Fast forward to the wedding and reception. The ceremony went well, but the reception was a complete disaster. Her parents went through the wedding gifts and cards to pay my boyfriend for his DJ services.

Payal Desai: Oh my

Christa Innis: God,

Payal Desai: that’s so

Christa Innis: kki. That’s so, this is why, and I’ve said this before, it’s like when you hire friends, they’re looking for like a little like.

Either like discount? Mm-hmm. Or they just not as, I don’t know, professional.

Payal Desai: I don’t think like friends and business ever mix, like I just No. No, they don’t. That’s a no for me.

Christa Innis: You need extra like contracts in place or to really make sure it’s someone that you want to work with, but most of the time it’s like, yeah, no,

Payal Desai: it just gets mucky.

It gets mucky, and then you’re trying to go through cards to pay. Dj,

Christa Innis: the number of stories that I’ve read about people hiring friends for photographers and vice versa. Mm-hmm. And then they ended up with no photos or they ended up with crappy photos ’cause it was someone just starting out. Like, no, we’re not doing that.

Guys. Like,

Payal Desai: well, and with a friendship or even like with family, like a falling out could occur. And so why would you with, if it’s a professional and it, you don’t have like a relation to that person. There’s a contract and you abide by that. But a lot of times if you’re working with a friend, like you may forego the contract ’cause it’s like, oh, we don’t have to make it all official.

Like you’ll just do it for me.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Wrong. Yeah. Oh yeah. There. It’s always that kind of person that you have to worry about that says, we don’t need a contract. It’s fine. You’re like, yes we do. I dunno. Something’s telling. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Um, it says, so to pay the boyfriend for his DJ services as they had never paid him before, also always get money down first.

That kind of thing. ’cause

Payal Desai: yeah.

Christa Innis: If they never, yeah, who knows if they ever paid him.

Payal Desai: Mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: Um, there was a lot of animosity between her family and ours the entire night. If my family was ever on the dance floor, which was most of the night, her family stayed away. What is the deal? Also, I feel like if something like that happened where they kicked out someone for announcing a pregnancy, I would already be like, this is weird.

Like, I don’t know. I don’t know. Especially like it’s his sister being kicked out of the wedding.

Payal Desai: Yeah, when

Christa Innis: you pick up your family and be like, why are you kicking my sister out for announcing a pregnancy?

Payal Desai: Mm-hmm. But it, do you think that there’s like an obligation to, uh, including like your husband’s female?

Uh, family members in the wedding party. ’cause I don’t think, there is no, like, if you don’t have a closeness with them, like you should not feel obligated. ’cause I feel like when you do, this is the kind of stuff that happens. Whereas if you’re just like, Hey, like your family, I’m marrying your family into your family, you’re marrying and into my family.

Let relationships happen like organically and over time people become close or they don’t, but like, just including them for optics is kind of like. A problem, I think. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Oh, for sure. You always see like pressure from like parents or something to have mm-hmm. Siblings all in the wedding together. Um, and I’ve even talked to a bride groom once and the groom was like, yeah, my parents are threatening to not pay for anything and not come to the wedding if I don’t have my brother as my best man.

I was like, well, do you want him as your best man? He said, Nope. I’m like, listen, the

Weddings, Traditions, and People-Pleasing

Payal Desai: more and more I like have lived life and like been in my marriage, like first of all, the wedding day now is very different than the marriage, right? Like the wedding day of the celebration. But I, I don’t know, for my own kids, for instance, like I don’t know if I will be so disappointed if they like choose not to do something huge.

It’s just like, not that like I want them to be happy in life. Like if that means that you elope, like I’m still celebrating you. I, I don’t know. Maybe I’ll change my mind, like call me naive. I don’t know. My boys are young, but. I think that there’s this almost like misconceived priority placed on, or I don’t know, the, it’s just, it seems like Ill place, like what do we really care about?

Christa Innis: Yes. I think, yeah, it’s all about like perception or how people are looking at us. It’s just, yes, and I feel like that’s where it gets kind of like lost and misconstrued is like we get so caught up in what other people think about us during the wedding or like. Parents of, you know, and it’s like, I still have

Payal Desai: time.

Or abiding by like these traditions that you don’t even really know the reasoning for. Um, and if, if you’re a people pleaser, like it’s over, it’s over for you because you’re not, even, the day isn’t, isn’t even about you.

Christa Innis: Oh, a

Payal Desai: hundred

Christa Innis: percent. And like people always like. I don’t know. People have their own like expectations when it comes to like how long you should be together before you get engaged or married.

And my husband and I were together a few years before. Okay, we’re going six years before we got engaged and all that. We lived together for a while and I know there’s many people online, they’re like, oh, there’s that so long. But like I think back to like my twenties when we were dating, I would not have had.

A backbone when it came to planning. And like we were, we just weren’t ready like we wanted to be, like Ready? Yeah. Our careers a little bit more and we wanted to like, you know, all that stuff, but whatever. Um, and so for me it was like, I think back, if I were like a young bride, I would’ve just been like.

Okay. Whatever you guys want. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I don’t know. Just people pleaser and like Yeah. When I got married I was like, this is kinda what we wanna do. Mm-hmm. My husband and I, we got on the same page. We were very like Sure of like, plus we also, like when you’re in our twenties, everyone’s your best friend.

Yes. We got married like early thirties, and so it was just kind of like, for us, we were like, all right, we were able to like cut down a little bit. Mm-hmm. By this point, these are friends that were gonna be like with us for like our life. Yeah. There’s benefits to both. I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Not knocking anyone that gets married young.

I was just like, I feel like it’s just, it’s just different for it is because

Payal Desai: you’re, you’re ki as you grow, like you’re a different person. Like I’m a different person than I was when I got married at 20. Six. You know, like mm-hmm. So I was a people pleaser and I wanted to make sure that everyone, my parents, his parents, everyone was like, happy.

And like, even if somebody showed up in the same color as me, I was like, that’s fine. Okay. You wanna stand on,

Christa Innis: on stage with me too while I get married?

Payal Desai: Do you? Do you just wanna do it with like whatever you want? Yeah.

Christa Innis: Do you wanna walk down the aisle like with me or like. You do you like, this is

Payal Desai: really, I, I’m okay to share the day.

God.

Christa Innis: Oh yeah. So funny. I know. I feel like everyone needs, like if they’re a, like if you’re listening and you’re a people pleaser and you’re a bride, you’d need a bridesmaid or maid of honor that’s gonna like really like. So you like your boundaries or your husband or partner hold you to your boundaries and like, speak on behalf of you if you have a heart.

Yeah. Speaking up. Because you’ll be so much happier if you set your boundaries and, and yeah. Stick with it.

Payal Desai: Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Gosh. Okay. Sorry. It’s, this was almost over. I know. We, like, we’re chatting a lot. I love it. Um, okay. As the night went on, my boyfriend played our our family song and everyone was having a great time.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone shove my grandfather. Okay, what’s going on here? After that, all hell broke. Loose fights erupted all over the hall, tables broke,

Payal Desai: and there was blood everywhere. What? That’s awful. Wait. That escalated so fast. I’m like, what happened? Like, so I feel like there is like a piece of this story missing where there was some like conflict or tension that is not being shared because there’s no way that.

It went from like kicking somebody out of the wedding and then like everyone’s angry at each other. Two sides, like of the family are not interacting, engaging. Dancing together, celebrating, and then all of a sudden it’s like a, a bloodbath. What? Yes. No, I’m like

Christa Innis: picturing it like, um, like Romeo and Juliet right now, or like the two sides are like battling.

Payal Desai: Um, well, and it started off very innocent. Like, hey, like they, they like chose the wedding party, we’re all in it, we’re excited, and then boom, like.

Christa Innis: I don’t know what the heck. This is insane. It says the bride’s mom got into my face for no reason. Mind you, I was only 18 at the time. She went to shove me, but I was pulled away.

Why are people just shoving people here? Like, what is happening? Someone threw my mom to the floor and broke my boyfriend’s custom built speakers, like, oh, no. Someone threw your mom to the floor, pushed your grandfather, like this is the most violent story I’ve ever read. Yeah,

Payal Desai: that’s awful though. Like think about that couple, you know,

Christa Innis: they can never get their families together until they have like a full family therapy session or something.

Yeah,

Payal Desai: that’s terrible. And you imagine it probably causes a conflict between them two. Because one thing that I will say is like. When you get married to someone like you, you, you come from very different places, right? Like you’re raised by different parents, and so there’s always going to be like. At least a little bit of conflict, right?

But like you are more willing to forgive and understand your family’s behaviors and they are as well. Like it’s, this is just human nature. And so if there is a big family conflict, like it’s hard to maintain like what you have with your partner, but then also not be a pushover for your own family. Like it’s a, you just, yes.

It’s delicate balance, that’s

Christa Innis: all. Oh, for sure. ’cause if he was like, oh, like Uncle Bob, you don’t know his humor. He just, he just made a little joke, you know? He’s like, oh, he’s, he’s just so crass, like whatever, like, you know. Yeah. It’s like, oh, but Aunt Mary’s the nicest woman ever. Like, you don’t know her stuff.

Right. You know? And like

Payal Desai: you don’t really know these things intimately about your spouse’s family, so you’re not as forgiving. I don’t know. Oh my

Christa Innis: God. That’s crazy. Okay, wait, there’s a little bit more. Um, it says the sheriff’s and police depar or state police arrived. It turned out, um, the bride’s parents had told my cousin and his new wife to leave, uh, leave the reception before e everything escalated.

So they had no idea what was going on. Why would they tell them to leave their reception? That’s weird. They didn’t stay married very long after that. She had been cheating on him the whole time. Oh wait, maybe that’s part of

Payal Desai: it. Maybe someone found out, maybe, maybe somebody knew and that would explain it a little bit.

But if I feel like there’s definitely something,

Christa Innis: yeah, and it’s like, but if she had been cheating, why is her family acting like he did something wrong or his whole family? That is, that is insane. Oh my gosh. All right. Well that is a, that’s probably one of the craziest stories I’ve ever read. I, I’m always like shocked and not shocked at the same time because I’m like, yeah.

Stories I get are so crazy. But that, that’s a whole new level. Um, yeah. That, that makes, that’s one for the books. Um, yeah. Okay. I know we’re getting. Well, we’re kind of a little over time, so if you have a little few more minutes, we’ll finish up this last little Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thing and then we’ll, uh, be on our way.

Hot Confessions and Opinions

Christa Innis: Okay. So this last one is reading, um, follower confessions. Okay. So you have to do with. Um, weddings or events that people sent me. Okay. This person said, asking people, um, this sounds like more of a, an a pop, a popular opinion. Asking people to be in a wedding should be done privately and not at a family dinner.

Payal Desai: I don’t, Hmm. It’s not that serious. You’re not proposing Okay. You’re just asking them to be in the wedding. I, I do love like the, uh. Kind of like fun reveals like girls will like put boxes together and like then have their friends over and they’ll open them and it’s sort of like a. I don’t know. Cute moment.

Yeah. I like a, I like a theme so that I always see those on socials and I’m like, that’s cute. But I don’t know. I don’t know if that would offend me where it happens.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I don’t think I would care. I mean, yeah, if you’re like with like a group of people and there’s some people you’re not gonna ask that are there, maybe That’s right.

Um, but yeah, if it’s a family and you’re like, everyone’s here and I’m gonna ask my sister-in-law, like, why not? Yeah. Um. This confession says, I hated wedding planning, so I told my mom the colors and vibe and let her her have at it. Hey, more power to you.

Payal Desai: Totally a personal choice. Like I if as long as you don’t have regrets, and as long as, honestly, as long as your partner’s cool with it, like if you both are just like, do it and do it your way.

Not for me. I, I can’t like hand off all of that for a day like my wedding, but. Okay.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I guess, yeah, that’s like knowing yourself and being like, you know what I

Payal Desai: do okay. But I do wonder if that’s sort of like a precursor to how you will be about decisions for the rest of your life. Because I do think that like sometimes if you are somebody who involves your parents in every decision, then like all of a sudden like they’re going to like.

They’ll shop with you and like they’re going to e everything. They’re like so, like intimately involved in and like, some of those decisions, like make it with your spouse. Like you don’t have to include your parents in everything. Yes. Yeah. Sort of uh, like a pet peeve for me. Like I think that some people take it too far.

I totally agree. You gotta cut the tie a little bit at some point. Like there’s a little too much dependency.

Christa Innis: Uh, yeah, no, definitely. ’cause I know, I know people that have like. Had like disagreements as couples, and then they’ll call the mom. Yes. This is very

Payal Desai: unhealthy. Like that’s,

Christa Innis: we need to figure this out together.

Or the therapist not bringing in because that’s like, you know, like they’re gonna obviously have their bias towards like their son or daughter and Right. That’s gonna make things very

Payal Desai: weird. Yeah. So you really shouldn’t be privy to whatever, um, disagreement that they’re having because you will, you will have bias.

Like, come on. Of course. Like, uh, I’m all like, I made jokes about how like my sisters could tell me like the worst thing that they, they’ve done, and I’d be like, that’s okay. You had your reasons. Like, we have each other’s back. Like, sorry. Yeah. So no, totally.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. Um, all right. This last one says, I feel guilt and sadness talking about our very small wedding because we couldn’t afford a big one.

Ooh. Aw. I mean, I, the, all right. Here’s the, the positive thing I will say about that is that you knew what you could afford. You didn’t go into it going bankrupt. ’cause think of how many people go and credit debt. Mm-hmm. Because they’re like, they want to show off this big wedding. But you can always do a big party later.

You could do a five year anniversary. 10 year anniversary. Yeah. Yeah. And, and just do something special or a family vacation and, um. And just remember like the, the moments you did have together, because I, I know it’s so easy Yeah. To prepare yourself and like look online, but that’s the marriage is what’s the important thing.

Payal Desai: I don’t know. I always go back to this, like, the wedding doesn’t make the marriage. You could have the most like, enormous, beautiful wedding. And if the, the marriage doesn’t, that doesn’t mean that the marriage is perfect. Mm-hmm. So like, yeah, I think that, I mean.

Christa Innis: Kim Kardashian had like a multi, what is it?

Million Dollar Wedding, and was married for like a few months to whatever that guy’s name was.

Payal Desai: Chris, well who was it? Chris something? Humphreys? No. Yeah. And then like even like with yeah, Humphreys and then even her like stuff with Kanye, like the engagement was really out of this world and the wedding was as well.

And

Christa Innis: exactly. That’s no of the wedding or

Payal Desai: the

Christa Innis: marriage.

Payal Desai: Yeah, and I know the grass is greener on the other side kind of thing. Like it’s easy for us to maybe say that when she’s mourning the fact that she didn’t have like a beautiful wedding, or I wouldn’t say beautiful, but like ornate, huge, expensive. But again, like down the line, you can honor the celebration in a different way.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I think there’s definitely, definitely opportunity there. Alright, well awesome. Well thank you so much for coming. I loved our conversation and how deep we got. I feel like I could talk to you forever about all this stuff. That’s why I feel like mm-hmm. Your content, like I said, I think I’ve been following you for years now, before I even was doing all this stuff.

So when I thought about people to have on, I was like, I gotta reach out because this was so fun.

Payal Desai: Yeah. And I never really. Made the connection, I guess. Like not in this way, right? Like when you first asked me to be on, I was like, oh, I like why me? Or like, what are we gonna talk about? But then the more I thought about it, I was like, the content that I do actually it is like, I think about the boys’ future and their relationships.

Not even just romantic, but relationships with everybody. Right? So it does connect. Yeah.  

Christa Innis: Absolutely. Yeah. It like weirdly all like, ‘ cause even when I started doing like wedding stuff and I was like, it’s such like a narrow mm-hmm. Thing or niche thing. But it really just relates to so many different relationships and communication boundaries.

Like I. There’s so much we can discuss on here. It’s, it’s crazy. Yeah.

Payal Desai: And it, like the issues too, or the challenges that people face are extremely cross-cultural. that’s something that I’ve learned from my content as well, is that it resonates amongst many different cultures and even age ranges.

So everybody sort of has some kind of tie to it and then has a way to, weigh in and, like, comment.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So for anyone listening, can you tell everyone where they can find your content and anything else interesting or exciting you’re working on?

Payal Desai: Yeah, absolutely. So Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube.

 the handle is Payal for style and I’m working on some things that, will be offered off, um, socials. And so, some like courses that I’m gonna be putting together and like an audio course, things like that for anyone interested in raising their children without traditional gender norms.

Christa Innis: I love that.

Well, awesome. It was so nice officially meeting you, and I’m so glad you came on. I had so much fun. And, we’ll be in touch soon. Yeah, absolutely. All right, thanks.


Bridesmaid Demotions, SIL Drama & Tough Boundaries with my MOH!

What happens when your vision for the perfect wedding collides with reality?

In this episode, I sit down with my best friend and matron of honor, Ivette, for a candid and hilarious conversation about the highs and lows of wedding planning.

From juggling family expectations to incorporating meaningful cultural traditions, Ivette shares how she navigated the chaos of planning her wedding while staying true to her values. We also dive into some of the wildest wedding hot takes submitted by listeners—prepare for strong opinions and unfiltered reactions!

Whether you’re a bride-to-be, a bridesmaid, or just love a good wedding story, this episode is packed with relatable moments, laughs, and real talk about what truly matters on the big day.

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month! 

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

02:40 Wedding Memories and Friendship

06:55 Wedding Planning Stress and Traditions

11:21 Hot Takes and Wedding Drama

28:37 Wedding Planning Chaos Begins

29:13 Bridesmaid Drama Unfolds

31:44 Family Tensions and Wedding Demands

43:58 The Wedding and Aftermath

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • The Reality of Wedding Planning – Ivette opens up about the stress of balancing her dream wedding with family pressures.
  • Bringing Culture Into the Celebration – How Ivette honored her heritage through unique wedding traditions.
  • Hosting a Full House – The chaos (and comedy) of accommodating 11 guests in a tiny apartment.
  • Wedding Hot Takes – Christa and Ivette react to bold listener opinions on cash bars, unplugged ceremonies, and more.
  • The Bridesmaid Selection Dilemma – Do brides really choose bridesmaids based on skills and aesthetics?
  • Setting Boundaries in Wedding Planning – Ivette’s take on standing firm against outside expectations.
  • What Really Matters on the Big Day – The moments that made Ivette’s wedding truly unforgettable.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  • “Weddings are supposed to be about love, but somehow, they always bring out the drama.” – Christa Innis
  • “Your wedding is YOURS—no one else’s opinion should dictate your day.” – Christa Innis
  • “Bridesmaids should be chosen based on friendship, not just talent or aesthetics.” – Christa Innis
  • “A wedding guest list is not a free-for-all. Boundaries exist for a reason!” – Christa Innis
  • “At the end of the day, no one remembers the little details—only how they felt celebrating with you.” – Christa Innis
  • “I wanted my wedding to reflect who I was, not just what looked good on Instagram.” – Ivette
  • “Family is important, but you can’t let their expectations take over your wedding.” – Ivette
  • “The stress of planning is real, but the love and support of your people make it worth it.” – Ivette
  • “Bridesmaids should stand beside you in life, not just in photos.” – Ivette

About Ivette

Ivette is a mommy, a wife, and a psychotherapist in training. She loves girl talk and giving unsolicited advice. She’s all about conversations that matter because she believes people matter. She was also Christa’s Maid of Honor in her wedding.

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: All right. I’m so excited for the episode today. And I wanted things to be a little less formal because I have one of my very best friends, Ivette here, who just so happened to also be the matron of honor in my wedding. And so I thought it would be more of just like it. A fun hangout session because we’re busy moms and this is how we hang out these days on zoom call.

Ivette: and I knew that we were going to do this and I was like, we need to have a drink because we just need to relax, enjoy ourselves and have fun.

Christa Innis: Seriously, I know. I feel like we actually need to just start scheduling these because it’s just so hard to get together with everyone’s schedules and the kids.

It’s just like, right now, both our kids or all our kids, I should say are in bed because that’s just like perfect time to just. Exactly.

Ivette: Yes.

Christa Innis: What are you drinking today, Ivette? Margarita.

Ivette: It’s my go to. You can never go wrong with tequila. You make a

Christa Innis: good margarita. I know and I’m like, that sounds so good.

I’m drinking some wine. this is not sponsored but a brand sent me this. It’s called Grazi wines, right? And it’s really delicious. It’s a rose. It’s a rose. Yeah. It’s like no sugar added, but it’s a boxed wine. I don’t know. That really sounds like it’s sponsored. I swear to God it’s not sponsored. but anyways, cheers.

Cheers to hanging out. All 

Ivette: right, let’s get into it. Virtual hangout reminds me of our COVID hangouts.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. It’s so funny you said that because I was just looking at pictures because I was like, Oh, I want to do a little post that I’m going to have you on the podcast. And I was like, Oh my gosh, 2020 we had like weekly virtual, like game nights.

Yeah. It, like, changed everything.

Ivette: I know. Thank God that you, like, would set that up with not just us, but other people, because I was just going stir crazy.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Same. was mostly Zach. Like, he’d be like, we need to, like, call people. And then once that started, we’d be like, yeah, let’s, like, get this going.

So I feel like we would call you guys. We’d call, like, my cousin in Texas. Like, we had, like, a little group going, and it was so great to connect with people because it was like, you couldn’t go anywhere.

Ivette: I’m like Zach’s sister was on too and like we were all just hanging out. Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Ivette: Good times.

Christa Innis: Yeah, we needed that. Oh my gosh, I’m so glad you said that. Like, bring me back. Someone posted something about 2020 Today and they’re like, isn’t that crazy to think that was half a decade ago? And I was like, no.

Ivette: That’s wild.

Christa Innis: I feel like so much has happened since then, but the same time that feels like yesterday.

Ivette: Yeah, same, but also so many lifetimes ago, you’re right.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I feel like that’s just how life goes now. Alright, before we get too far into it, can you just tell everyone a little bit about you and like, what you do? You’re like, oh my gosh, pressure. yeah. I mean, I feel like there’s like, there’s so much to know, and, but just Okay, so I thought about this,

Ivette: and Okay, I’m going to start it like this.

So for those of you that don’t know me, no, I, I’m joking. for Christa’s wedding, I was like, that was how I started my speech. I said, you know, I asked my husband for all this advice on how to start my speech. And he’s like, whatever you do, don’t start it with for those of you that don’t know me.

And so I did that. but yeah, I mean, I met Christa through my husband, who’s actually her husband’s friend. And he was the Best man in their wedding. And then Zach was the best man in our wedding. but yeah, I’m currently a mom of two. I’m a grad student about to graduate in eight weeks. and yeah, I think I’m a really authentic, real person.

. I like to be vulnerable and get to know people and so I’m not really good with surface level conversations. I like to get deep and get to know people. So

Christa Innis: yeah are that person that like we I feel like that’s when we like started connecting is when we’re like Oh, we love these one on one conversations Like we would just get lost in conversations like it didn’t matter what was going on around us

Ivette: Yeah,

Christa Innis: and we would like it literally went from like us Knowing each other to very like very service level, knowing each other to like in distance.

Like we’d be like, oh, okay. Hi Eva. Hi Christa. And then all of sudden we’re like, bam. Like we’d be texting all the time when we see each other. We’d be like these deep conversations. And then it was just, the rest

Ivette: is, like, I felt like you were my partner in crime for like a good amount of time before the babies came.

Like for sure.

Christa Innis: Yes.

Ivette: And like, yeah.

Christa Innis: I feel like those last few years before. Like COVID, and then like, obviously doing our virtual calls a lot during 2020. Those years, like, really, like, brought us together, I feel like, and now, like, we were just saying, now it’s been, like, years. I mean, because I, probably first met you when Zach and I first got together, which was 11 years ago now, which is crazy.

Or almost, going on

Ivette: 11, going on 12, I don’t know. Yes. I will, I still remember the day that I met you. Like, I will always remember the day that I met you. Which is so weird, because I tell people that. I’m like, isn’t it so crazy? I think I’ve told you this before. Like, it’s crazy to think that you always meet, like, you always remember, like, the important people in your life.

Like, I remember meeting you. I remember meeting Matt. I remember meeting, like, some of my other best friends. And, like, anyone else, it’s like, I don’t really remember. But I, like, Remember like what people are wearing and so yeah,

Christa Innis: yeah, like those vivid moments that stick in your mind Yeah, no, that’s funny.

LikeI don’t know. feel like the same way I was just looking back at like Wedding photos too when I was like picking out stuff and I was like, oh my gosh like even that like for my wedding I feel so long ago And yeah, just all the craziness since then okay, before I get too, like, blabby because Y makes me chat a lot, so I’m gonna slurp.

Ivette: Not going to lie. I may have had like a tiny little shot to keep up.

Christa Innis: Hey girl, this is moms after dark. I mean, I know when this episode comes out, I’ll come out in the morning. But if you guys, if you’re listening and you don’t listen to it till later have a glass of wine with us, have a margarita with us, drink a choice of coffee, you know, what have you just run like let loose and hang out a little bit.

so Let’s get into crazy stories and some wedding hot takes, but I kind of want to switch it up a little bit, like Talking about your own wedding. I know I don’t like saying Oh throw people under the bus. No, I’m not saying that I’m talking about your own wedding. Like what was like the planning experience for you?

like I know you were really stressed during your wedding planning and that was like A lot. You kind of, you talked about having a lot on your plate at that time. So like, what’s something like unforgettable about your own wedding experience that you kind of just like held on to? like good, you were saying?

I brought up the stress, but like, yeah, like what kind of like was your planning like? And then like looking back, you’re like memories that you held onto about it.

Building a Wedding with Purpose

Ivette: So, yeah, I think planning was really stressful because I really wanted to, like, stick to my values and be like, okay, this is what I want, this is what I like, but also, like, more importantly, I wanted to build a foundation for my marriage, and I wanted the people that I feel like helped Change my life for the better or we’re like really important into like my pivotal story of like this is who we’ve at Was this is who I am now I am like proud to be this person this woman entering into marriage And I want those people to like stand beside me not just to come to my wedding but to be like listen I support you through any season in your marriage, right?

That’s super important to me And so I think I was stressed out because so many of those people Don’t live in our state. They live in other countries. They live in the U. S. But maybe they live on the West Coast, right? or even the East Coast. So for me, it was really stressful to get everyone together at the same time and make sure that they were, like, taken care of.

Like I could take care of them the way that they’ve taken care of me, so I think that’s, that was really, like stressful and then of course, you remember, like, we had our apartment in Chicago and I think there was like 11 people staying at our place, like, we had a one bedroom apartment in Chicago and it was like body after body after body, like just anyone sleep anywhere, you know, like during our wedding season, so that was intense.

Um, like the

Christa Innis: epitome of Ivette, like you, I remember specifically, there was like one moment in all the craziness where it was just you and me like in your apartment and you were like Really worried about like pleasing everyone around you and I was like just take a breather It’s your wedding. You should enjoy and you’re like but Christa There’s people from everywhere and we like to have a moment.

I was just taking it like it’s okay But you’re like you were hosting so many people and I like when you say it that way, too. It’s like people are flying from another country or from another side of the country And so you put a lot of pressure on yourself.

It’s very normal.

Ivette: Yeah and then I think the biggest takeaway is like, I am bilingual. I speak Spanish and English and I wanted every single person at my wedding to feel like they were seen and like. understand like, Oh, this is a part of me. Like, so just being very true and then very true to myself.

And then also like, it’s so sweet when you get to have, like, I’m sure you remember your wedding, like every single person that has ever like, meant anything to you. Like that’s like the sweetest thing in the world. And so I think that’s just like the biggest takeaway. I’m like, can we renew our vows just so that all these, you know, our favorite people are together again.

Cause That’s so special. Yeah,

Christa Innis: one of my favorite things about your wedding as like a guest was all the like Cultural and traditional things you kind of like brought in together and just made it your own Like there are certain things that you guys did that I’d never seen at weddings before which I was like, this is so fun This is so cool.

Like, can you explain some of the things that you guys did at your wedding? Like was like the bridge thing, right?

Ivette: oh, oh, yeah, so there’s just like Mexican traditions that we wanted to incorporate into our wedding, and we just, it’s just been passed down through generations, and I really don’t really, I don’t know what they mean, I was just like, oh, I’ve seen this done time after time, and I don’t know what the meaning is, but it’s important to, like, follow those traditions, and, be true to my roots kind of thing, and so, um,

Christa Innis: Oh, I love that.

That was like one thing I couldn’t stop talking about. I was like, it was so beautiful and unique to like you and your story. And I thought that was just like, it was really cool.

Ivette: Yeah, you’re talking about the, it’s called La Vibra de la Mar, which is like, everyone lines up and hold hands and you like, the groom is, Um, and he’s standing either like on a chair or being held by his groomsman and then the bride’s on the other side and then he’s like holding up her veil and everyone’s like running like through the gas, like holding hands, like really, really fast and then the music speeds up.

You keep running faster and faster and people are tripping or losing their shoes or falling over everywhere. And so, yeah, yeah, it’s a really fun tradition that we do. And there’s a couple of dances that we do as well, like country style dances that we do, line dances.

And so, yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s

Ivette: awesome.

Christa Innis: I love that. All right, let’s get into some hot takes. So these are opinions, some very strong that people send me on Instagram. We’re just gonna react to them together, and just give me your first reactions. Okay, first one is, all lettings should be unplugged.

Ivette: Oh, okay, this is hard. Okay, I agree. I agree, but being a mom, I’m like, oh, that’s hard. Like, have your phone for, like, emergencies. But I don’t need people, like, taking pictures or recording, because, like, I paid for a photographer and a videographer, and I want you to, like, enjoy the moment. You know, yes.

Christa Innis: yeah, I don’t see unplugged as like, we’re gonna have you turn in your phone and lock it in a box, heard of like very extreme, you know, places doing that. But yeah, like, turn your phone off and make sure like, you know how to turn it on silent. Or like to vibrate because I can’t tell you the number of weddings I’ve been to where there’s signs literally and people announce it and you still see people with their iPad or their phone and I’m like, no, don’t do it.

Ivette: Yeah. That’s so much worse. I do hate that. yeah, I just, be present. I’m all about being present.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. And chances are as good as the iPhone photos are, the photographer is still going to be 10 times better. Okay, next one says if you are going to have a cash bar, just don’t even have one.

Ivette: Oh, like the gas bill? No, no, no, no, no. No, like they’re your guests. This is like your event. It’s not like you’re doing like, I don’t know, backyard barbecue. No. Oh, like, I feel like you should, pay for the guests or

Christa Innis: something

Ivette: like

Christa Innis: that. So this person says that if you’re planning on having a cash bar, you might as well just not even have one because I think they’re like agreeing.

You should have a bar like an open bar.

Ivette: Yeah, 100%.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I agree I was just telling a story so sorry to people listening if I just told us on a podcast episode Or if it’s coming out soon, but I was at a wedding once where it was open until like 8 p. m. But they didn’t tell anyone. They switched it.

So I remember Zach and I going up to the bar and he ordered drinks and the lady was like, 10 bucks or 15 bucks. And he’s like, Oh, I thought it was open. And they’re like, Oh, it’s switched to cash at eight. And they didn’t announce it or anything. And yeah. Was I at this wedding with you? Cause I feel like I’ve been to this too.

Like I don’t think so. So when Zach and I first started dating years ago. Oh, okay. Those poor people listening are like, oops. No, they want to be listening.

Ivette: Okay. I feel like I’ve been to a wedding like that too, but I feel like I knew that was going to happen. They’re like, okay, like, open bars, closed.

Now it’s like, you know. Yeah. Poor kind of thing.

Christa Innis: My thing is too, it’s like, There’s different levels for what you can afford, obviously. And so I’ve been to all kinds where there’s like, I’ve never, I don’t think I’ve ever been to a hundred percent cash bar. I think I’ve been to ones that are just wine and beer.

And I think that’s great. if only in your budget, you can fit wine and beer and. Like seltzers or like, some kind of pop drinks or whatever non alcoholic. I think that’s great. I do think there should be some kind of beverage that’s offered. That’s Yeah,

I don’t know what I get and there’s also different levels of how formal someone wants their wedding, I get it sometimes that that’s the vibe But yeah, I’m all for I knew I wanted that was like something in my budget I was like, I want an open bar.

Ivette: Yeah, if you’re like getting married at the Drake In downtown Chicago and you’re like having people pay for their drinks. That’s a problem. But like if you know, you’re more conservative and like, Not as wild with your money, then it makes sense. Like, okay, we’re gonna just have like the basic stuff and that I

Christa Innis: totally agree with but Yeah.

Okay. This last one says some bridesmaids are only chosen for their talents or aesthetic. Is this a saying or drink?

Ivette: Yes. Yeah, I didn’t choose bridesmaids because of this, but I have friends who I feel like may have been chosen for this reason. And it’s like, they have the skills, the equipment, that kind of thing. Mm hmm. Yeah.

Crafty or Convenient? The Truth About Bridesmaid Selection

Christa Innis: I feel like I’d be really careful what I say sometimes.

There have been times I’ve felt in the past where I was chosen because I’m very crafty. I’m a crafty girl. I love my crafts. You give me a project. I will. I won’t. ever do like a C minus job. I will do that A plus job. I will give extra effort. And so there’s been a time or two that I was a bridesmaid that I was like, should I have been a bridesmaid?

I don’t know. And it all was great. It was great. But, I think just sometimes you have to really think about down the line or even at that time, like who you want by your side. Not for what they can offer you, but like your relationship to them. i feel like it’s complicated because everyone looks at it differently.

But I don’t know, it’s, I’ve also heard of people, and this is not anyone I know personally, just through stories that people have sent me, it’s just like, they’ll be asked to be in a wedding, and they’re kind of like, they kind of ask themselves, like, why am I a part of this? Like, you don’t even try to be my friend outside of the wedding planning.

so I’ve seen that happen a lot, where they’re more questioning, like, do you just want someone by your side? Whereas

Ivette: I’ve actually had that happen to me before. Yeah, where, Okay. It was like my partner. It was like clear that they were meant to be in the wedding and this person asked me to be in the wedding and it was like, are you sure?

Like, we were both kind of like, why would she ask? Like, it was just really strange. And, you know, of course I said yes. but yeah, it just didn’t fit well. And then of course our friendship isn’t. Yeah.

Christa Innis: I know that’s interesting how that works with, like, it’s almost like a precursor maybe.

Ivette: It’s like, he has 10 people, I have 8 friends, I need 2 more people.

Christa Innis: I need to add somebody. Yes. Yeah. No, I totally see that. Yeah, that’s interesting how that works when you kind of look back and you’re like, Okay, maybe that’s why. I will say, the majority of the times that I was a bridesmaid, it was like, I kind of had expected it. That being said, like, if you were asked today, or do you feel like, I feel like most of your friends are married or, like, committed, like, do you feel like at this point you would be in any other weddings?

Or if someone were to ask you, do you feel like you’re better at saying no if it wasn’t the right fit?

Ivette: I think, okay, so I have a few friends and family members who are still going to get married and I know for a fact that I would say yes. I would have to find a really good excuse for someone who is like a little bit more than a friend kind of thing because that’s just who I am.

It’s like, I’ve always told people like if you mean something, if we’ve had like a relationship in my life, Life like I will never forget you like I will have your back You can call me like 10 years later if we’ve lost touch, you know that kind of thing So I’m just a sucker that way So I want to say like because I’m a mom and I’m busy now and like work stuff Like I would it would be easier for me to say no at the same time I am a people pleaser a little bit which I’m working on.

Christa Innis: So I had to beg you to say no to me, even like when you were doing stuff for my wedding. I remember you had so much going on, just different things that would come up. And I’d be like, Ivette, it’s okay if you can’t come to the bachelorette party. It’s okay if you can’t do this. Like I was like, you’re like, I’m going to be there.

And I was like. Okay, but like, I know the pressure’s not coming from me. Oh, no. No. But I know, it’s hard, because there are people like that, and you put an expectation on yourself. I’m the exact same way when I’m a part of the wedding. okay. I warned you before we got on, but I have a story for this week, and it’s a little long, so I want to jump right in.

if we haven’t been chatting for like, I don’t even know what time I got on. 20 minutes? I don’t feel free to stop me at any point. This week’s story submission. I only saw the beginning and then we’re just gonna go from there. Okay, it says, phew, this may be petty, but this story needs to be told.

My sister in law, let’s call her Lizzie, was a narcissistic Nightmare of a Bride, and she and my brother don’t speak to my family anymore because of her insane wedding drama. Not exaggerating, they have now not spoken to me in over two years and claim to have cut me out of their lives fully and forever with no explanation.

I’m sure you’ll think I’m the crazy one because of that, but hear me out. Let me first say I will not think you’re the crazy one because I, especially through receiving all these stories. There are three sides to every story, and I’m sure you know this in your line of work, like, you can only, like, hear so much and just absorb, you know, what you’re being told, right?

I mean, I don’t want to read into things, but yeah.

Ivette: I’m also such, like, a devil’s advocate, though, so I’m always like, well, we’ll What about this or what about that? I’m like, you know, yeah, sorry to whoever said this, but yes, I am. I’m here to listen I mean, I

Christa Innis: agree with you though, too. I feel like when I first started sharing stories, people would get like, I shouldn’t say people for the most part, people like the stories, but everyone’s gonna be like, you only talk about mother in laws.

How about you talk about mother of the bride? And I was like, well, yeah, Fun fact mother in law could be of the bride or the groom, but okay, and they were just getting offended and I was like well, I try to say stories about all kinds of people related to the story, but I just, the most, most of the stories I get just happen to be from brides.

so now I try to look at it in a lens of like, okay, what are the other details I’m getting? Because sometimes I read a story, I’m like, oh, that’s not, not the best. Not the best looking, but okay. she says I’m the oldest of three siblings. My sister, Cassie is in the middle. These are all fake names.

my brother, Max is the youngest. My brother, Max, and his now wife, Lizzie started dating in college. They’re young in their mid twenties at this point and started talking about getting married in 2020 and planning their wedding before they got engaged, which I thought was a bit weird, but whatever, no harm, no foul until My sister Cassie fell in love with her now husband, oh, Alex, the same year, 2020.

My sister Cassie and her man Alex are in their mid 30s, so they’re older and ready to start their lives together, buy a house, and start a family. They get engaged in the spring of 2021 and tell our whole family they’re planning to get married in a year, March 2022. Yay! We’re so excited for them. Or so I thought.

The Engagement Jealousy That Started It All

Christa Innis Okay. The next thing I know, I get a call from my younger brother, Max, who is not engaged to Lizzie at this point. They’re still just dating, but he’s upset. He tells me Lizzie has been inconsolable, crying and depressed in bed for three days because my sister got engaged first.

Oh my gosh.

Ivette: Yeah.

This is hard. This is hard. That sucks. Sorry. Like, why would that mean anything to you? Yes. Like this, you should be happy. You should be happy for them. Like, that is a really big red flag if you’re like, Uh, I didn’t get engaged first. Like, what about me? Like, I’ve paid my time. No, like, these people are happy.

They’re older. you don’t know if they want to have kids, right? Like, you don’t know what their plan is. Maybe they’re more financially established. You don’t really know. So I feel like if you’re looking forward to getting married and being a part of someone’s family, you should be happy when they reach their milestones too.

And when, The siblings get engaged. Like, why would you make it about yourself?

Christa Innis: I know. Especially because they’re not even engaged at this point. Like, and even if they were, like, us and we’re engaged at the same time. Like, I don’t get the competitive, like, back and forth. Like, that was a similar story I just shared about a girl, like, demanded to be engaged before her, they were dating brothers.

Demand to be engaged before her. And this was like a true story. Someone sent me and it’s just like, I just don’t get that.

Ivette: my sister in law and her husband now they have been dating forever. You actually went to high school with them. But my husband and I, Matt, we actually got engaged before them and.

She asked me like, is it okay if we get married, whatever date, like, which was before our wedding. And I was like, yeah, of course. Like, I really don’t care. Like, I’m happy for you. Like, what can I do to help you? You know? And it was so fun to be in the process together and be like, Oh, look at your ring, look at my ring.

And. What are you doing with this? And, oh, I might bounce that idea off of you, and, oh, that’s good for you, but I don’t like that style, and it was so fun to be a part of each other’s wedding, so.

Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s what people, I don’t get, because it’s like, then you have a fun, like, unit of, like, your family’s growing, like, now you have a sister, and, like, you know, you have someone you can call up, and, like, it’s the same with, like, When a mother in law gets angry or brother in law, whatever.

It’s like you’re just causing more of a barrier like wouldn’t you want I guess people that think like that don’t think down the line like We’re not gonna get along. I don’t know.

Ivette: Right? Oh, yeah, so I can really play devil’s advocate here

Christa Innis: Yeah, but the girl that Wrote this in is on their side

okay. So, and it was their wedding. Oh, and took their wedding year. She said, yes, the reader took their wedding year. I’m like, hang on, Max. What do you mean? It took your wedding year. You’re not even engaged yet. He says, well, we wanted to get married in 2022. And now Cassie is going to steal our thunder because she’s getting married before us.

I’m like, but you’re not even engaged yet, Max. That’s what I like. I had like two of my really good friends, two of my best friends got married the same year as me. And I was like, that’s so fun. Cause I’m thinking like 10, 20 years down the line, we’re the same anniversary year. Like let’s go on an anniversary trip.

Like, that’s the way I think.

Yeah. And you’re like going through all the seasons together. Like it just makes it so much more fun. Like a big party, I mean, I hear of two people getting mad too about pregnancies and stuff and I’m like, I love that. Like, yeah, that’s a thing. That is a thing.

I got a story where a girl was kicked out of the wedding because she announced her pregnancy and they were like, I don’t want you announcing stuff. Well, I mean, people are insane.

Ivette: Oh my goodness. They

Christa Innis: thought the pregnancy would take away too much attention from the bride. I was like If you really care about those people, you’d be celebrating them.

You’d be like, how can I make the day better for you? Because you’re pregnant at my wedding. I was

Ivette: I was pregnant at your wedding.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I was like, I had two pregnant bridesmaids and I thought it was so fun. And it’s so fun to look back at pictures and be like, Oh, like, I don’t know, just looking back at those memories.

Yeah. And then we get to like go through this chapter together with our kids, like.

Ivette: Mm hmm. Imagine like me being kicked out of the wedding because I was pregnant.

Christa Innis: I’m like, I, like what?

Ivette: Yeah, no. That

Christa Innis: needs to be researched in a deep way. I don’t know a laboratory somewhere where people think that way.

I’ll be part of my next psych research. Yes very niche I know she says I’m like, but you’re not even engaged yet max You haven’t proposed. You can’t expect our sister, who’s older than you, to put her life on hold because you guys called the wedding year 2022. It’s not like calling a shotgun.

He’s super hurt by me saying this, and said it’s important that you understand our hurt over this. I’ll be honest, I did not mince words, and maybe that was a mistake, but I said, I love you, but this is crazy. You’re an adult. Please be happy for a sister and stop making this about you. I think that’s pretty nice.

Yeah,

Ivette: and I’m honestly so shocked that this guy, like, bought into his girlfriend’s whatever she has going on, like, in her mind, this, like, game that she’s playing. Like, for you Just sit there and be like, no, my girlfriend’s right, like who you’ve been dating for, I don’t know, a couple years and you’ve known your sister your whole life.

Christa Innis: It’s like, really? Like, I don’t know. yeah, that’s just like a big red flag for me. Nope. Yeah, you wonder what manipulation is going on behind the scenes. What’s

Ivette: Gaslighting there for sure.

Christa Innis: Yes, like, oh, your family is terrible. Like, I’m no expert. I don’t know this stuff just from like seeing stories.

I’m like, if a person you’re dating is pulling you away from your family instead of like celebrating them, that’s It’s a red flag. that’s kind of like textbook, isn’t that? Yeah. Yeah.

Ivette: That’s not good.

Christa Innis: when you and Lizzie get engaged and married, we will be just as excited for you, she says.

For the next four months, my brother, Max, and his still girlfriend, Lizzie, proceed to have lengthy talks with my parents and us about how hurt they are about my sister’s engagement. Oh my gosh. And wedding planning. They say they do not feel cared for or validated in their pain. Cue gagging noises, she says.

Oh, it’s terrible. It’s just, they’re, I mean, and I hate to be like, oh, like, she said they’re 20s and then the older sister’s 30, so I don’t know, like, if that means, like, 23, 24. But they just, they sound very, like, they need to, like, live a little life. But I mean that someone in their 40s could act like that.

So I don’t really want to play the age game, but it just sounds very odd to just not all of a sudden not be happy for your sister because you’re supposed to get engaged first.

Ivette: Yeah, absolutely. And then still not being engaged and still complaining about it. Like it’s my wedding year, but you’re not even engaged still.

That makes no sense. Absolutely. It’s like,

Christa Innis: Okay, I’m going to read into it before we read a little bit further, but it’s almost like the brother doesn’t actually want to get engaged. The younger brother, right? So instead of like, the pressure being put on him, he’s going to turn it on his family and be like, Oh, can you believe that?

Well, now they’re taking your thunder, so I can’t. Because don’t you think if this happened and he really wanted to get engaged and married first, he would just propose?

Ivette: Yeah, he would have proposed like right away. And then set a wedding date before that. And then like beat them to the, yeah, I was just gonna say that.

And then like beat them to the, wedding date. Like. And said they’re just over here crying about it

Christa Innis: and not doing anything.

Ivette: he’s kind of a coward too.

Christa Innis: I think it’s. Him kind of pushing his feet in the sand or whatever the phrase is.

Ivette: No, it’s not that he’s being a coward. He’s like, I know the red flags and this is just giving me time.

Bridesmaid to ‘Special Guest’ in One Email

Christa Innis: Yes. Let’s direct it toward the anger towards my family and not me. Yes. That’s just the vibe I’m getting. My brother, Max, finally proposes to Lizzie in the fall of 2021, and they start planning their wedding for September 2022, six months after my sister’s wedding will take place.

 Okay. For a while, everything is copacetic. I hope I’m pronouncing that right. And then Lizzie starts sending lengthy wedding planning emails that are insane. She starts off with me and my sisters as bridesmaids.

After that, I would not want to be her bridesmaid. Talking about, I don’t know. I guess it’s hard because it’s like you want to just like move forward. And so you’re probably your baby brother. So you’re like, let’s just make things work. But you know, things are going to be. Not great. Mm hmm. but pretty quickly, oh, pretty quickly demotes us to special guests.

Ivette: Oh my gosh, no. That

Christa Innis: might be the kindest thing she’s ever done for me, she says. She wants us to attend a bachelorette weekend, a wedding shower, an engagement party weekend, and the wedding. All separate weekends and all flying out. That’s a lot. That’s terrible.

Ivette: That is. Yes. For her to first be like, yeah, I want you to be a bridesmaid.

Like where, in your timeline of like being a part of this family, do you see that being a good thing? Do you see them saying, yes, I would’ve, that I would’ve been like, no. , no. and then to be demoted, like to demote them? I can’t believe that. I can’t believe that. Like, how do you even have that conversation with them?

You’re

Christa Innis: a special guest now, so you just get like a badge or something. Like, what does that mean? But yet, she still wants them to attend four different things and fly out for all of them.

Ivette: Still come, still pay for everything, still make me the center of attention.

Christa Innis: Yes. Oh my gosh, and she’s probably that kind of bride, like, even if you have like a white speck on your dress, she’s like, change.

Don’t have any white anywhere near you.

Ivette: You can’t have white shoes. No way. You can’t. I don’t even know if you’re like dresses poofier than hers. You’re out. You’re out.

Christa Innis: I was just telling someone how my cousin Jasmine, how when we were out at the bachelorette party, she had a shirt that had like white flowers on it.

And she was like, I won’t wear it. I’m so sorry. And I was like, Jasmine, you can wear that. I literally, you could literally put a white shirt on right now. What? I was there. I know. I didn’t know if you were like, during that conversation, but I was just like, Oh yeah.

Ivette: Yeah. I think we were all like looking at ourselves in the mirror and then she like noticed it.

And then that’s when you guys had like, Oh, that’s,

Christa Innis: yeah. Right

Ivette: before we were leaving.

Christa Innis: I don’t care.

Ivette: you could tell her like her whole outfit could be white and it would be fine.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I was like, I would have been like, yeah, we’re both the brides. I literally don’t care. I’m just happy everyone’s here. And I’m like, and I’m someone too, where it’s like, I, to multiple people, I was like, don’t feel like you have to come to everything or any of it.

Obviously, the wedding’s the most important. So if you can’t make it to a shower or bachelorette, I’m fine. Like, Two or three people couldn’t come to the bachelorette. And I was like, that’s totally fine. Like, people that were in the wedding. And it was like, we moved on. We did our own thing. It was all good.

Like, to put pressure That’s the thing is like, everyone’s different. But like, to put pressure on people. Like, you have to come. Spend all this money. And That’s where people get stressed out. And I’m like, I’m more excited about people just being by my side at the wedding. That was the biggest thing for me. 

She says, okay. I’m like, girl, again, I love you, but I don’t have the money to fly out for four separate events. I can come to two of these. Plus, my sister’s getting married too, so I’ve got her bachelorette and wedding, remember? Which kind of would take precedence, would think. Yikes. Shouldn’t have mentioned that.

We immediately start getting lectured. Lizzie tells us, we told everyone that your sister’s wedding would steal our thunder and look, see, we can’t have the wedding we want because of your sister’s wedding. But it’s like, either way, you are asking people to fly out to four events. Like, that is insane.

Ivette: Yeah.

And then for, I just can’t believe that she’s like, see, like, it’s taking away from my wedding. Like, it’s Get over yourself. I’m over this girl. I’m over her. I’m over

Christa Innis: her. It’s so, like, this is why there’s the name Bridezilla, because of this bride, and I hate that because, like, so many times it’s, like, a nice bride that just has a boundary, and it’s like, okay. 

No, she’s not a bridezilla, but this is like, no, like everyone bowed down to me. It’s my year. I own the whole year. And it’s like, no, that’s not how it works.  

Ivette: No, I’m out. I don’t like her. Yeah.

Christa Innis: And also to like be in the mind of the bride who’s already having issues, you know, with everything. why would you want the sisters to be at your bachelorette party if you don’t like them so much?

Where’s that?

Ivette: Yes. That perspective. Perfect. Like, yeah. It’s like, they’re doing you a favor. Like, by getting married around the same time. It’s like, thank you, yes, perfect.

Christa Innis: Yeah, so you can be with your friends. And I just, I don’t get it. okay, it says, Lizzie and Max continue to rag us about this.

Including the week of my sister’s wedding. With long, ridiculous emails about how they feel abandoned by the family. Because not everyone can attend every single one of their expensive destination events. I wish I was joking and I wish I could copy verbatim the email they sent to my immediate family five days before my sister got married about their hurt feelings.

Also not to mention they’re getting married six months after the other sister. That’s plenty of time to then focus on them, right? Like it’s not like they’re getting married the week after.

Ivette: Literally start sending save the dates right after the wedding. Yeah. Like, yeah, shouldn’t even overlap at all.

Christa Innis: No, that’s plenty of time away from each other.

They’re literally, can you imagine demanding someone to pay attention to you the whole year? Like, this is my year, nothing else can happen.

Ivette: yeah, I don’t, have friends like that, thank God. I don’t think I could be friends with someone like that. No,

Christa Innis: no. It makes me wonder, I mean, how, maybe she only has the sisters.

Because she doesn’t have friends. Yeah, I don’t know. That’s rough. she said they even requested that my sister not speak about her wedding at any of their wedding events. I feel the need to insert here that my sister Cassie is very down to earth, unfussy, lovely and intelligent college professor.

She is not a diva. She never makes things about herself. Or makes herself the center of attention. So the fact that they even felt upstaged by her is truly a masterclass in security. This girl should be a writer. I love this like image. I was going to say that like, she’s so insecure. I think it’s probably too.

It’s like the fact, like the way she just described her older sister, the younger girlfriend or now fiance sounds very. intimidated, almost. Like, oh, they’ve got, like, their stuff together, she’s intelligent, but it’s like Maybe you can just like look up to her. Maybe pick apart a couple like things that you want to like Yes I just I don’t my sister Cassie lovely husband Alex have a beautifulheartfelt budget friendly for Wedding in March of 2022 family and friends attend our Midwest cousins who all have kids are able to attend because the wedding is driving distance for them and my sister thoughtfully planned it over their kids school break my brother Max and Lizzie sleep late miss their first flight so they don’t even make it in time for the rehearsal dinner weird weird how that happened something I now wonder about did they really sleep through their alarms or was it just a stunt to pull the focus Probably.

He,

Ivette: like, wakes

Christa Innis: up, like, changes

Ivette: the alarm, like, on their phone.

Christa Innis: Yes! Oh my gosh. I have no idea. They probably, like, purposely, like, planned a later flight or something.

Ivette: 100%. I think she did it. I don’t think the brother did it. I think she was like, Oh, babe, like, I looked at the flights, they don’t have any more.

It’s just, like, we have to go to the later one.

Hijacking the Honeymoon with Drama

Christa Innis: Mm hmm. It makes you wonder like someone that’s acting like this and like he’s so easily manipulated Or she might make up stories to tell him like, oh, this is what they said to me This is what they did to me and just like victim mode. Oh my gosh. This could be like a whole series After the wedding my sister and alex go to their honeymoon to europe While in Europe on their honeymoon, Lizzie and Max start texting their complaints and grievances about who is not attending their pre wedding events to the family group chat again.

I text them privately and say, hey, it’d be cool if you let our sister enjoy her honeymoon for a minute. If you have issues, please text the rest of us directly, but leave them out of this. Spoiler alert. They don’t block. I’d be blocking. I’d be like, I’m on my honeymoon.

Ivette: Yeah,

Christa Innis: by the way, like

Ivette: Like, maybe through pictures, but like, I’m not, I suck at answering text messages and phone calls.

So my honeymoon, it’s like, Ivette’s dead. She’s gone. You were like, you weren’t even

Christa Innis: thinking about that.

Ivette: No, absolutely not.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I don’t even remember texting anybody on my honeymoon. I feel like we left our phones in the hotel room because we were at a resort. Sorry.

Ivette: I think like, we actually never went on a honeymoon.

We went on a trip. But our trip. that sounds like a bridezilla thing, like, a bridezilla thing, a thing of bridezilla. I don’t

Christa Innis: even know, I don’t know, shut up.

Ivette: I think I only use it for pictures, I don’t even know if I had service. So it’s like, I don’t know.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I would be blocking if someone just kept bugging me I’d be like I need to be in this oasis away from all that And good on this I don’t know whatever the OPS whoever like sent in this story like good on you You’re being a great like Boundary holder for your family.

That’s a lot of responsibility, but I’m proud of you for like stepping in Lizzie makes the next six months hell for my email inbox. She sends detailed look books and dress code guidelines for her engagement party weekend, micromanaging everyone’s travel plans, setting detailed schedules down to the minute for every single pre wedding event.

And giving main character syndrome, I’d say, a whole new meaning. She also continued to complain about how they feel abandoned and unloved by my extended family from the Midwest, who have been invited to their engagement party weekend, but cannot attend. I’m sorry, I would not be flying to an engagement party.

I just

Ivette: want it. And also the fact that you are sending, like, dress codes and lookbooks to the engagement party? Like, it’s not even the wedding.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like, that’s a lot for a wedding, but that I can understand a little bit more. But an engagement party, you’re going to tell people what to wear, so they have to go out to a store, pay more money.

the engagement party weekend is at a small beach resort town. It’s expensive to fly to and the kids all have school. My sister’s wedding was over their spring break.

I try to explain to my brother and Lizzie saying, hey, the side of the family has kids. They’re not rich and they genuinely cannot afford to come to the event. It’s a multi day event that would put their kids out of school. You’re talking thousands of dollars just in plane tickets, not to mention hotel rooms.

You didn’t even invite them to your wedding. Just invited them to this and they Can’t afford to come. Like the kids. Yeah, they invited the parents and kids, the engagement party, but didn’t invite the kids to the wedding. So, she says, don’t take it personally, you just really didn’t plan this with them in mind.

Telling my brother and Lizzie this truth was clearly a mistake. Lizzie sent our whole family a text saying that it was unfortunate that our family didn’t support or care about them enough to show up. At this point, I really started to feel ill over the fact that my brother was marrying this girl.

It’s just a red flag after red flag. I’m beginning to feel like a prop, because the other thing I haven’t mentioned, she’s becoming a wedding content creator during all of this.

Ivette: Oh my god, I want to know who it is! Oh my gosh, this is bad. We can’t share this!

Christa Innis: Hey, the girl submitted it and you’re all like, I would, maybe share it. She goes, yep, you are that right. She quits her job at a consulting firm to work full time as a content creator and decides that her wedding is the best way to start. We are the props for her perfect Instagram wedding. At this point, I’m hating every minute of her wedding BS, but I’m also trying to keep a relationship intact with my brother because I love him and I’m also like blink twice if you need help.

You know,

Ivette: oh my gosh, this just put everything into like a whole different perspective like it makes sense like everything needs to be extravagant because the pictures need to look perfect because it needs to be filtered. So that you get more followers and I’m not saying every content creator is this way, but this person sounds like this is what they’re doing right yeah

Christa Innis: totally 100 percent terrible.

The Plus One Power Play

Ivette: Two months before the wedding, my plus one is revoked. Lizzie and my brother feel like I’ve defended my sister too much and taken her side during all the wedding drama.

Christa Innis: They want to punish me. My plus one is my boyfriend of a year and a half, and we already bought plane tickets. They can’t do that. I’d be like, I’m not coming anymore. That, yeah. It’s not like, oh, behave and you get a plus one. If you don’t behave, you take it. That’s not how plus ones work. I call my brother and say, Hey, we already bought plane tickets and got an Airbnb.

It’s incredibly cold and rude to disinvite my partner.said that he and Lizzie now feel as if I’m trying to upstage their wedding by bringing my boyfriend! This cannot be real! And they don’t want me making a big deal about it. Oh, they don’t want me making a big deal about their, about, oh my gosh.

Okay, at this point, I’m like, F it. I say to my brother, My boyfriend is going to come with me the weekend. If he’s not invited to the wedding, that’s up to you. You can exclude him. It’s in New York City, so he can find something fun to do on his own. My brother says, If you bring him to New York City, I will consider that as an attempt to draw attention from us on our wedding weekend.

Oh, come. These people are insane. I don’t,

Ivette: I don’t like him. I just, I can’t. I don’t. I would

Christa Innis: not be going.

Ivette: No, I would go. I would go to New York City. I would do all the fun tourist things. I would maybe like, oh, that’s your wedding. Oh, hey. And then just like keep going about my stuff. But yeah, no, I would go enjoy New York City.

I would not want to be a part of that wedding at all. At all.

Boundaries vs. Bridezilla

Christa Innis: I see you wouldn’t go to the wedding. Oh, no. I would go to New York. Yeah. Hundred percent. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would go to New York. Mm-hmm . Or I’d go to the wedding and like I’d say this, but I would never do this. I’m like, think of something like petty, like wear the wrong color or something.

I wouldn’t do that for all white . Walk in a ball. A ball gown. Ball gown. Yeah. No, I’m like, too, like I just wouldn’t, I can’t do confrontation. I wouldn’t be there. I say, well, we’re not cancelling his flight. He wants to spend time with me and our family, so he will come and he’ll spend time with us outside of the wedding.

You’re the one who disinvited him at the last minute in an effort to punish me. One month before the wedding, I get an email from Lizzie telling me that she needs me to get my hair and makeup professionally done. She’s not a bridesmaid. You can’t make someone do that. She tells me what color to paint my nails, what type of shoes I should wear, and what type of jewelry she expects me to wear.

I respond by telling her politely and a firm boundary. I say, You’ve given us wedding dress code. I will show up looking lovely and appropriately dressed to your big day. You don’t need to tell me what type of specific jewelry to wear or how to paint my nails. I to do my own hair and makeup as I cannot afford to pay a hair and makeup artist of your choosing on top of all the travel expenses.

Thank you.

Ivette: She’s not even in. She was demoted. How dare you? 

Christa Innis: And I’m one for two, where like, even if you are a bridesmaid, give them the option. Like, never You give them

Ivette: options. Yeah. This is who’s doing the hair, this is who’s doing the makeup. If you want to, sure. If you don’t, that’s fine too. You

Christa Innis: feel more comfortable doing it yourself, that’s fine. I don’t care.

Ivette: This is the company, these are the dresses, or this is the color. These are the 10 different styles that they have. Whatever you want on your body, that’s what you choose. Like, you did that for us. Yeah. And, like, this person wants you to do this, this, this, this, this. Like, it has to be that or you’re out. Of what?

Of being a guest of honor?

Christa Innis: Yeah, I don’t even know what that means. This is like, honestly, the craziest story I’ve ever read. Every week I’m like, oh, this is the craziest I’ve ever read. I think this is honestly the most insane. Alright, we got two little paragraphs left. Well, that was the last I ever heard from her.

I went to the wedding with my family and without my partner. The food sucked. The venue was ridiculously expensive. She yelled at guests for accidentally walking into the venue too early while they were taking photos. My brother looks like a hostage. Yeah. My mom cried during the vows, but not because she was happy.

My dad talked to the father of the bride and learned that Lizzie had spent triple of the wedding budget. Yikes. She got all the Instagram footage and TikTok dances and pictures she could ever want in order to launch her career as a wedding content creator. There it is. She cared more about the outer, which I feel like people get caught up in so much.

It was like, they get more into the outer appearance of what everyone’s going to think about their wedding. Less about your marriage, the future celebrating with your family and friends. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. one of her best friends. And bridesmaids don’t even speak anymore. She asked people to pull out their phones during the ceremony and take selfies for social media.

She blocked me on instagram after the wedding because I didn’t post about the wedding and I haven’t heard from her or my brother in two years. This is gonna be sad. My brother used to make Be my best friend. I’m confused and heartbroken and worried about what his life will be like.

Sometimes I peep on their account from my other Instagram where I’m not blocked. I see her keeping up appearances and to be quite honest, she’s building an empire as a wedding content creator. Oh my gosh. To her credit, she works her butt off, but I know that every beautiful highlight reel posted to Instagram has its own dark story underneath.

That’s it. Imagine you and this girl have like partnered up. She’s been on the podcast. Oh my. Oh my gosh, that is so sad. That’s really sad, and that’s the thing with social media too, is like, you never know what’s actually going on behind the scenes when people are Posting all this aesthetic. I mean, you hear about influencers, like renting out jets.

So it looks like they have a private jet just to

Ivette: sit I’ve heard that too. Or like people being accused for that

Christa Innis: is a better

Ivette: way to put it.

Christa Innis: Cause we don’t really know. I guess I don’t really know. Right. And it’s just like, that’s just the whole appearances thing. Cause I mean, it’s just like, I guess if that’s your brand.

Ivette: Yeah. I think like in a day where like you can filter everything, you can like, Be like in your basement and make it look like you’re at some expensive resort somewhere right like people really crave like authenticity and like realness and, like talking about like harder stuff and it’s like, that’s why I don’t even post anymore.

Like, it used to be so fun to post on social media, but it’s like. I think I’ve told you this, like, I’ve struggled because it’s like, why am I posting this highlight of my life when it’s not all, rainbows and sunshine, you know, like most of my days are like crappy kind of, or like I’m busy or I’m tired and yeah, so.

Yeah,

Christa Innis: I know, I totally relate to that because like I, obviously I post on social. But I don’t post a lot of personal stuff because I feel like if I, and we talked about this too, it’s like if I’m looking for that like craving of someone to like applaud my life or to applaud something personally, then I’m lacking somewhere else or I feel like I need something like, you know, or sometime with myself or I don’t know, it’s just like, I’m the same because I used to like, I mean, Facebook days, I used to post all the time in college.

Like, you’d go out for a night and you’d post all 25 pictures. And then it just got to a point where it’s like, who am I posting that for? like, I love to entertain with content now, but it’s like, if I’m just, like, at home, Or I’m out. I’m not. I just don’t post about that stuff.

I think some people get caught up in this where they like start seeing people engage and they’re like, I have to keep it up. But like, that’s stressful. It’s also stressful to keep up appearances like that.

Ivette: I was just gonna say like, she spent triple the budget. And now like There’s an expectation of like, oh, like this is the kind of like space that you are in.

These are the kind of things that you purchase. So like every picture has to either be like that or up it or it’s not entertaining. You know what I mean? But when you’re posting like about your work, like your work is like the center of attention. That’s different, right? And so.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I feel like some of the, my favorite people to follow, like you were saying, they’re so authentic.

Like, oh, I’m trying to think of her last name. What’s her name? Jen. I can’t think of her last name. Elise Meyers is one that I follow who’s so authentic in her story and how she talks and shares, she’ll just be like in her room and just talk about her workday. Jen, who’s a labor nurse. I cannot think of her last name.

It’s gonna kill me. But, um, yes, I sent her stuff. Um, but she to like, she’ll be like hair up in a bun. And she’s like, This is my life right now. I’m like with my chickens and it’s just like very like Normal stuff and like not like I have chickens, but you know I mean like it’s just she doesn’t try to put on this facade of like my glamorous life Like everyone’s life has aspects that are glamorous or nicer but yeah, I think it’s like it’s so easy to get caught up in that and just I don’t know I feel really bad for this girl because it sounds like I can’t speak for everyone, but I’m sure we all can think of someone that’s been into, in a relationship like that where you’re like, he or she is like lost because they’re so enamored in what’s going on with their partner and they’ve turned away from their family. 

Ivette: And I’m thinking to like imagine hard it is like when you’re in a relationship with someone and you’re like, oh, I want to leave or whatever, but then it’s like, oh, what is this person going to think? What is this person going to think? But now it’s like, it’s not just your friends and family. It’s like all of your followers.

All of your business, like not to say that that’s where they’re at, because like, we hope that that’s not the case. Right. But, if everything is based off of appearances, like it’s to be that much harder to change, walk away, be true to yourself, you know, so

Christa Innis: yeah, that was a rough one. That was really, thanks for this girl for sharing it.

I feel like it was probably therapeutic for her to type it all out. I hear that a lot from people. They’re like, I’ve held all this in and so me being able to type it like helped me feel better. So I can’t imagine though, like just having your brother just not speak to you or your family because of their partner.

So.

Ivette: even hearing the story though, I feel like. She did things the right way, like, she was very, like, composed, very mature, and I love the way she spoke about her sister. It was so beautiful. You know what I mean? I feel like her heart is at the

Christa Innis: right place. A hundred percent. Yeah, she did a great job, like, setting the boundary, not letting this girl walk all over them.

Right. and it also goes to show, too, there’s no pleasing people like this, because I think a lot of times people think, like, especially as people pleasers, we think, like, Oh, if I just do this for them, then they’ll understand If I say, okay, then they’ll be fine. And it’s like, no, once you let them tread over you, they’ll keep going.

Yeah. Yeah. So it’s like her with even her boundaries, it was not okay. Cause probably she’s never been told no before. Right. Yeah. Good for her. Yeah. Props to her. well, that was a long story, but thanks Frank. we need to do this more often because it’s kind of fun just to like. Hang out and like have a glass of wine because we never get to do this.

I loved it. Thanks for having me. Thanks for doing this with me. Yeah. so before you go, is there any last parting advice or anything you’re working on that you’re excited about?

Ivette: I’m almost done with grad school. I have like eight weeks left and I’m so excited because it’s meaning that we can actually hang out. We can, my schedule is not going to be booked and maybe the next time if we do this, it’ll be in person.

Christa Innis: Yes. That was our goal for everyone like listening. That was our goal to do in person and I got like, I feel like our schedules are not like It was just hard.

And also we were like, wait, three more weeks have passed. We got to figure this out. And I recorded my closet as of now. And I’m like, how would we do in person? I guess we can go in the living room. We got to find a space. And then I was just naked in that closet.

Ivette: We could just

Christa Innis: squeeze in here. We probably could. We’ve sat in weirder places together. Yes. It would

Ivette: be fine. Normal. Yes. All right. Awesome. Well, thanks for having me. Thank you.


Vegas Vows, MIL Meltdown, and Uninvited Guests with Saron Olkaba

What happens when a mother-in-law hijacks your wedding and makes it all about her? Absolute mayhem. 

This week on Here Comes the Drama, we dive into one of the most outrageous MIL meltdowns ever. From insisting on a 500-guest wedding to uninviting the bride from a wedding dinner, this story is a rollercoaster of entitlement, manipulation, and jaw-dropping audacity.

Saron Olkaba, a pop culture commentator, reality TV aficionado, and queen of hot takes joins Christa for a brutally honest take on wedding chaos, pop culture madness, and why cash bars should be banned. They’re spilling all the drama—from surprise proposals gone horribly wrong to the great debate on whether kids should even be at weddings.

Trust us, you don’t want to miss this one. If you love wedding scandals, unfiltered opinions, and stories that will make you gasp, this episode is for you!

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month! 

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction 

01:13 Pop Culture and Reality TV Talk

05:15 Wedding Hot Takes and Trends

14:43 Crazy Wedding Stories

19:25 Wedding Drama Unfolds

19:59 Mother-in-Law’s Overbearing Behavior

21:57 The Wedding Day Chaos

25:15 Post-Wedding Reflections and Confessions

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • A bride shares how her MIL tried to double the guest list, uninvited her from a wedding dinner, and threw a fit over boundaries.
  • Should you ever make guests pay for drinks?
  • Should we retire the bouquet and garter toss tradition? 
  • A best man ambushes a wedding toast with a proposal—without asking the couple!
  • Kids at weddings: Are they cute guests or chaotic distractions? 
  • When the groom actually attended a wedding-related event that excluded his bride… 
  • MIL’s final meltdown: Blocking, crying, and dramatic exits—this wedding story escalates to a shocking ending.
  • Will the couple cut ties for good? Should this bride run before it’s too late?

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  •  ”If you can’t be away from your kids, just don’t come, it’s fine.” – Saron Olkaba
  •  ”Some hills are not worth dying on and others are. You just have to trust your gut.” – Saron Olkaba
  • “Cash bars, certainly, never, it’s never okay under any circumstance. That’s a huge problem.” – Saron Olkaba
  • “Be creative. You don’t have to shove yourself into this box.” – Saron Olkaba
  • “ Let’s not surprise a bride and groom on their wedding day.” – Christa Innis

About Saron

Saron Olkaba is a pop culture content creator known for her sharp commentary on celebrity news, reality TV, and trending topics. By blending humor, insight, and real talk, she delivers engaging takes on everything from viral scandals to entertainment industry moments. 

With a background in political consulting, Saron brings a unique perspective to the digital space, proving that smart women can love pop culture too. 

You can find her sharing the latest buzz on TikTok and Instagram (@saronthings), and stay tuned for her upcoming YouTube series featuring deep dives into the hottest topics in media.

Follow Saron Olkaba:

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

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Take the drama with you—literally.

From cozy hoodies to quirky mugs, there’s something for everyone in our collection. Your purchase helps keep the laughs coming, and it’s the perfect way to show your support.

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Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Well, hello. Thank you for coming on. 

Saron Olkaba: Thank you for having me. I’m thrilled to be here. 

Christa Innis: I’m so excited. I was saying before we started, I feel like I know you from watching, all your videos and your hot takes. I mean, you talk a lot about things in the media, I mean, right now it’s like Justin Valdoni and, I was gonna say Serena Van Der Woodsen.

Oh my gosh, aging. I haven’t watched Gossip Girl in so long. Blake Lively, totally a brain fart right there. 

Saron Olkaba: Could not even think of the thing that people say about her, is that she plays the same person in every character she plays. So, like, Serena Van Der Woodsen and Blake Lively, kind of interchangeable.

Christa Innis: It’s fine. I do get a lot of news from you. I’m like, okay, when I see your video, I’m like, okay, I need to see what’s going on in the news. TikTok brings us all the good stuff we want to hear about.

Can you just tell everyone a little bit about yourself, what you do? and then we’ll kind of get into these crazy hot takes.

Getting to Know Saron Olkaba

Saron Olkaba: Yeah. So I make pop culture content on Instagram and TikTok. It’s content about like the zeitgeist things that are going on in the media, celebrity gossip. I think that, like most of my viewers and followers, are women. And I like to think that women contain multitudes, right? Like, I’m a political consultant in my nine to five day job, but, I also am obsessed with all things pop culture, and, you, Bravo and similar things. So I like to say that smart women Love this kind of sh*t as well. So I like to take it from a kind of Look at these things kind of from a higher level. I like to be fact based, but I also like to talk sh*t So it’s a fun little community.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I love it. I feel like it’s just a great Real Housewives, that kind of stuff, it’s great to just turn your head off, do your mind off, and just, watch some trash TV.

I haven’t watched Real Housewives in so long, like, that kind, but I was a big, like, New Jersey girl all the way. Loved watching it. So good. 

Saron Olkaba: You have to, if you’re gonna watch the Housewives, Salt Lake City. Just watch that one. I urge you. To watch Salt Lake City. There are only five seasons. It’s immaculate. It’s horrifying. It’s. incredible, just please.

Christa Innis: Okay. I didn’t even know there was one. So I got to jump back in. I kind of like to hop around when it comes to reality TV. I was in bachelor nation for a little while. I wasn’t in it. I watched it.

Saron Olkaba: I missed

Christa Innis: Oh, yeah. No, definitely not. and then I would watch Bachelor in Paradise and I was like, I don’t know.

It’s all the same. Like I can’t get into it. So I like reality more. Like what’s going to happen is who’s going to fight with who? Right stuff. 

Saron Olkaba: Yeah, I really got into The Bachelor because I feel like none of the couples really make it. So we’re just doing the same thing over again. We know how it is, they’re going to, they might be with each other for a little bit and then they break up or there’s two happy endings and 30 seasons. So, yes.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And it’s funny. I don’t know if you saw,, and by the time this comes out, this will probably be old news, but. Alex Cooper interviewed, I don’t even know if you know who Rachel Kirkholm is. Yeah, and they were one of the couples I was like, they’re holding on strong. They always presented themselves as happy.

And you see that and you’re just like, it was all a lie.

Saron Olkaba: Well, I think a lot of people are saying that he was just never gonna marry her if he didn’t want to get engaged at the end of this process where the end goal is to get engaged. What would make you think in the next four years something would change? So I’m excited to listen to that interview too.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I was listening to it last night, part of it and I was like, Oh my gosh, is she got her like quick. Let’s talk about it. So one of the reasons I was like, you would be perfect to have you come on this podcast is because you have so many great hot takes and I feel like just with these crazy, wedding stories, I get, um, proposal, engagement, all that stuff.

I was like, I need someone with some good opinions and we can just kind of banter through some stuff. So the first kind of category is crazy stories and wedding hot takes. So I have some different hot takes that people send me. And so I want to get your opinion on these. So what is one wedding trend or something that you’ve seen at weddings that you either absolutely include or you despise seeing? 

Cash Bars, Garter Tosses, and Other Wedding Debates

Saron Olkaba: Cash bar, certainly, never, it’s never okay under any circumstance. That’s a huge problem. That’s a huge problem. Even if you don’t drink. Oh, alcohol free weddings. Even if you are sober, you got to provide, got to provide a drink or two and you can’t make people pay for it. I think it’s like the tackiest thing in the world. Period.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. I love it. I love it. No, I love it. I think it’s great. me personally. I agree. I feel like you need to have. Something there. I remember one time this actually just came to me. We’re talking about crazy stories. we’re at a wedding and it started off as a semi-open bar. So I think certain things were selected. It was fine. But then they switched to a cash bar without telling people and it was like people were getting their drinks. My now husband and I were up at the bar and he ordered drinks for us. And they were like, Okay, it’s this total. And he’s like, Oh, I thought this was open. Like, we didn’t have our wallets on us or anything.

And they’re like, No, switched to cash at 8 p.m. It was the weirdest thing. I would have said, Oh, I thought this was a wedding. Yeah,

I was like, Wait, this is weird. So then he ended up getting his wallet, buying the drinks. Then we left our drinks on the dance floor while we were dancing, and they cleared everyone’s drinks off the table.

So we’re like, they switched to a cash bar mid wedding, but didn’t announce it. And then we’re clearing the drinks off the tables when people are dancing. Oh no,

Saron Olkaba: That is absolutely unacceptable. Absolutely. You’re like providing an experience. People are coming out of their way to celebrate you.

They’re probably giving you a present. They might have flown out here. It’s not a paid experience. There’s already enough investment being involved in a wedding, just going to a wedding, doing all the events around a wedding. No, give them a good time if you’re gonna do it.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I totally agree with that. So, what are your thoughts on the bouquet and garter toss, because this is one of the ones I always ask Instagram followers, and this is like the one that comes up all the time to get rid of it, stop doing it. It’s weird. It’s gross. So what is your take on it?

Saron Olkaba: Yes to the bouquet, no to the garter. The garter is when the guy goes literally under her dress. That is a horror, that’s not okay. I can’t imagine. I feel like I’m at the wedding. My dad’s here, that’s so insane, no, please.

That’s not. I don’t feel particularly passionate about the bouquet as passionately as I feel about the garter knot, which should not be a thing, it’s fun, but I hope no one actually thinks that it means that you’re gonna be the one to get married next.

Christa Innis: I. Literally have been to so many weddings where the women get vicious and they like to push you. I’m like, we know we’re not actually the next one. Like it’s going to be okay. I’ve seen the videos too where they like literally push all the way and I’m like, it’s not that serious.

Saron Olkaba: Like full on shove her to the ground. 

Christa Innis: No, not for me.

Saron Olkaba: Not for me at all. And then there’s the like, you throw the bouquet and then someone catches it or like she hands it to the woman so that she can get proposed to. That’s my list of no’s as well. proposals at the wedding.

Christa Innis: Yes, I’m so glad you brought that up because someone shared a confession with me last week saying at her wedding, the best man during his speech proposed to his girlfriend, who was also a bridesmaid.

And I was like, no one knew? The bride and groom didn’t know that was gonna happen? No one knew. She said she was mortified. Security. Security. Yeah, out of here. I was like, I need to know more. I messaged her and I was like, can you tell me more? And so she said they ended up pulling him away and being like, this is not okay.

And they didn’t understand why. But then he still came back, put the ring on her finger. She hugged him and said yes. In front of everybody. She’s walking around the dance floor showing off her ring. She’s like, yeah. I can’t even believe this happened. And she’s like, I always watched your crazy wedding stories thinking it would never happen to me.

And that happened. Were there any signs that this man was a psychopath prior to? They said they’ve been friends with him for a long time. And I, I don’t know. I don’t realize how Weird and rude that is.

Saron Olkaba: No, it’s so tacky. No.

Christa Innis: Absolutely not.

Saron Olkaba: Unless, you know, the bride is in on it. And I’ve seen videos where the bride is full on team, get proposed throughout my wedding, like here’s the bouquet, turn around, I was like, yay. And do you, God bless you. That’s incredible. right. Couldn’t be me, but incredible nonetheless.

Christa Innis: Right. 

Saron Olkaba: So that’s fine.

Christa Innis: Yeah. There’s a lot of steps you should take before making sure that’s okay. Like no surprise. Let’s not surprise a bride and groom on their wedding day.

Saron Olkaba:  Right? No.

Christa Innis: Okay. So these are just some fun, like picking a side on these wedding drama debates. These are other unpopular opinions that people sent me.

So this person said having kids at the reception is a good thing and they should come and feel welcome. What’s your take on kids at weddings?

Saron Olkaba: I think that just likeA declarative sentence, having kids at a wedding is a good thing, like, by what measure, you if the bride and groom feel like it’s going to be a safe experience for them and whatever, sure, but if they want to party and not have to worry about some kid getting trampled on the dance floor, that’s completely up to them, and you should absolutely respect it, It’s not up to you, so, I don’t understand why people get so upset about it, it’s a big deal for them, it’s the one event where they’re allowed to kind of do this, if you can’t be away from your kids, just don’t come, it’s fine, just RSVP, no, yeah.

Christa Innis:  I know, that’s why I’m like, when people get so upset about it, I’m like, if you can’t go, just say no, wouldn’t be offended. Either way, I’m like, now that I have a toddler, I get it. If people do not want a toddler, day, night, either for me, or if we can’t get a babysitter, I will say no, because I would not want to.

A toddler there. Like, I get it. it’s just like, when people get so mad about it, I’m like, I don’t understand the philosophy.

Saron Olkaba: That being said, I told you I was engaged once and I almost got married. It was like a couple of months out from the wedding when it was cancelled.

But, having said that, I’m more than okay with child free weddings. We had set up child care for the people that were going to come and babysitters. And there was a difference, they were in a completely different place with their home. They would have been with their own food and their own people watching them.

And their parents could have gone back and forth to see whatever. So, If you’re going to have kids at your wedding, I think that’s a nice way to do it.

Christa Innis: I love that. I’ve been hearing that more and more. People have a separate area, a fun room for kids, or fun things, yeah. Padded walls. Exactly, yeah. Blocked, because that’s the thing. It’s like the biggest thing I think with kids at a wedding is, it’s the parents that aren’t watching the kids, or like, they’re at a certain age where they can get into anything. Like, I know if I bring my toddler somewhere, like, they’re, she’s gonna figure out a way to try to do something.

And so, like, there’s certain ages, too, where it’s like, you have to either be on them the whole time, or you can’t enjoy yourself. So, I feel like the extra room is great. Like, we had just, like, our nieces and nephews at our wedding, which was, like, so great. seven kids. And we, but we were provided with coloring stuff.

We had their own kids table. Plus we knew them well enough to where like, okay, we know they’re going to be well behaved there.

Saron Olkaba: So you said only like, I think that that’s perfectly fair as well. If you’re just like only the children that are related to us can come, like, and if people make a stink about not being able to bring their kids because, Oh, like, why can they come then? You know?

Christa Innis: Yeah. Sucks to suck. I know, because that’s something I hear too. They’re like, oh, but if you say no to my kids and I come and your nieces and nephews are there, I’ll be so mad. It’s like, you’re gonna be mad that like the bride’s niece is there versus like a co-worker’s son or something like that. I’m like, that’s so different.

Saron Olkaba: The entire drama is wild.

Christa Innis: They just don’t come. It’s fun. It is so wild. This person said, White bridesmaid dresses are weird.

Saron Olkaba: If the bride likes it, I love it. I’m not judging someone’s, like, aesthetic choices in, like, that sense. If the bridesmaid dresses are, like, stunning, gorgeous white, as long as they look good, I don’t care.

I mean, and, I don’t know if you’ve watched, like, Selling Sunset, Christine Quinn. She had, like, this black ball gown wedding dress. Oh, I did! Right? And so like, is it my style? No, but like, I don’t know. It’s 2025. We’ve been doing weddings for a long time. Like, let’s, I don’t know, let’s mix it up.

Christa Innis: I love, yeah, I love when people do like unique, crazy stuff.

I love when the bridesmaids all wear white dresses along with the bride. I think it looks pretty. But I saw this bride that had a dress that turned into a rainbow and like, like, she unbuttoned it and it turned into this rainbow dress. And I was like, that is beautiful. That’s stunning. That’s something I never would have thought of.

Yeah. Like, you go, girl.

Saron Olkaba: Be creative. You don’t have to, like, shove yourself into this box. Like, as long I mean, if you want to As long as you’re getting married at the end of it, that’s the end goal. Just like throw the party you want to throw and invite the people you want to invite. Like you’re spending a lot of money on this sh*t.

Have a good day, do whatever you want to do. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Do you black out all the haters? Pluck out the naysayers, provide

Saron Olkaba: booze, but provide,

Christa Innis: provide booze. Yeah. Provide some good entertainment. Good DJ. Yeah. Okay. Let’s jump into. This week’s story. It’s a long one. That’s all I can do. I have not read it. Just the beginning starts with the monster in law.

So it’s about to get kind of crazy.

Saron Olkaba: I love monster in law stories. 

Monster-in-Law Alert: Wedding Drama at Its Worst

Christa Innis: It’s insane. I read these and I feel so grateful that I have a great mother-in-law. I reason I’m just like, these are insane. okay, so feel free to stop me at any point. And then I’ll kind of just pause and we can kind of just react as we go.

okay. I’ve been holding my tongue for a long while, but I’m angry all the time and I needed to get this off my chest. So who better than to tell you? Hopefully this will give some content, um, because I honestly don’t know what else to do about my monster in law. I got engaged in July 2024, and from the moment we announced it, my future mother-in-law started bombarding us with questions about the wedding.

She asked when it would be, how many people we were thinking of inviting. I told her around 250 guests and she immediately said, no, it should be 500, 500. Holy cow. Um, Right. I’m like, that’s the thing, too, is like you find the ones that are so opinionated are not even giving any money a lot of times.

Saron Olkaba: I would think that would be obvious, like, you can’t say you can double the wedding if you’re not paying for the wedding.

That’s insane. Okay, continue. Yeah.

Christa Innis: No, I agree. Um, I calmly explained that we only wanted people we were close to, family or not. I also mentioned it would be a kid-free wedding except for nieces and nephews. There we go. She lost it and started a fight. Okay, a few weeks later the topic came up again, and I mentioned we were planning a sober wedding since my fiance is two years sober. He’s like covering all the things we just talked about.

Saron Olkaba: I swear we did not cover

Christa Innis: Literally, I don’t even put these together because I don’t want to read them ahead of time, so I did not even know. My mother-in-law and future sister in law laughed and said it was fine. But my fiance would need to leave the reception because they would be drinking. Wait, but isn’t this his mom and sister?

Saron Olkaba: Why would they want your fiance? The groom would be leaving his own reception to drink elsewhere apart from the

Christa Innis: what? And this is confusing because I’m like, it’s the mother-in-law, you would think she would be not wanting to like you think she’d be up against the bride, but not the groom because the groom’s her son, right?

Saron Olkaba: I think that she’s probably positioning this as oh, he wants to have a good time and drink so he can’t stay at a dry reception all night. Like we got to go to the bar or some Insanity like that. I don’t know. Please. I can’t wait to go.

Christa Innis: What? Oh my gosh. Okay. Um, That is crazy. Okay. Eventually my fiance and I decided to get married in Las Vegas to avoid all the drama.

We kept the guest list to immediate family and one friend each because the venue could only hold 50 people. We thought this would make things easier. It didn’t. Oh yeah, someone like that’s going to come right in being like, You didn’t invite me.

Saron Olkaba: Continue. There’s no winning. Okay.

Christa Innis: Yeah, this is like two weeks before the wedding. Okay, so they still were going to have this big wedding. They just did like an elopement, just the two of them. So two weeks before the wedding, my mother in law started talking about my fiancé’s dad’s nephew. I’m like, fiancé’s dad’s nephew, okay?

Um, come back. Yeah. Oh yeah. I’m like, drawing a tree in my head. I’m like, where did this go? Um, I never met this nephew. In the 12 years I’d known my fiancé, I told her the guest list was set, and there was no room. She said that was fine, and he could just enjoy it, he could just join us afterwards. I agreed.

Five days before the wedding, my fiancé got a text from his sister in law, oh, from his sister. Inviting him to dinner. He asked if I was welcome and she said, no, family only. That’s weird. His mom chimed in, doubling down saying only immediate family. She cannot come. Okay. Don’t you think like a fiance kind of becomes that?

Okay, this was a dinner to celebrate my fiance getting married and I wasn’t invited what

Saron Olkaba: getting married

Christa Innis: to you and they didn’t want you to come. Okay, he went while I stayed home and then he went. See

Saron Olkaba: girl, this is why you can’t, I already know how I feel. You can’t marry this man. This is a crazy situation.

Don’t, you’re asking for misery for the rest of your f*cking life. Yes. Who will not, who will go to a wedding, a party about a wedding that you are the bride in, that you are not invited to. He said, chill, bet, like this sounds normal to me. This is how you want to start our union? This is insane. You can’t, you can’t do this.

You can’t marry this. No,

Christa Innis: I am. Yeah. What? I am shocked. Why would he go without you? That would be like a no for me. That would be like, sorry. Like, you, you’re choosing your immediate family, who, your fiance, new wife, should be your immediate family. No.

Saron Olkaba: Marry your sister then. Marry your mom. What?

Christa Innis: Okay, five, Okay, later, okay, so he went, while I stayed at home, later my mother-in-law made a Facebook post congratulating him and tagged me in it, which this is important later, she says.

The day before we left for Vegas, my mother-in-law asked me to lunch. Even though I had so much to do, I agreed. At lunch, she told me my fiancé’s little brother had invited a friend to the wedding. I corrected her, saying he asked Wait saying he asked but we said no. Okay, so that little brother had already asked them and she said no She replied.

Well, he invited her weeks ago, and I said it was fine. It’s too late to uninvite her now

Saron Olkaba: It’s not even too late to uninvite you b*tch. Okay, so what do you mean? It’s too late to uninvite her

Christa Innis: Like what is this controlling behavior? Like I’m already so like Angry for this person because I’m like he your fiance is not even on your side.

Saron Olkaba: I’m sweating. Okay,

Christa Innis: this is bad Yeah, I feel like hot

Okay, I was furious but decided to talk to my fiance first when I told him he immediately texted his mom explaining It was disrespectful to invite someone without asking us that she needed to tell the friend he couldn’t come This sparked a meltdown. My future sister in law started calling and yelling at him, but he stood by me, okay, finally, saying no one else was getting a plus one.

When we arrived in Vegas, my mother-in-law asked again, Okay, so the wedding in Vegas is where the mother-in-law’s coming?

Saron Olkaba: Did I? She’s coming to both. Okay. They did the wedding in Vegas first because they thought it would placate her. And they invited only the immediate family from both sides, right? But they’re still having this big wedding.

Okay. They thought it would shut her up to do the first thing.

Christa Innis: To do her own thing. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. Because I’m like There’s so much happening. Yeah, you’ve got me. Okay. When we arrived in Vegas, my mother in law asked again if the nephew could come to the wedding because he was already there. I reminded her there was no room and my fiancé backed me up.

On the wedding day, I went to brunch with girls from both sides of the family. My mother in law ignored me completely. Even when I greeted her, I brushed it off and enjoyed the day. This mother in law hates her. Like, this is, I would be like, you are, you can’t come. This is terrible. Like, why would you want to feel like a stranger or unwanted at your own wedding?

Like,

Saron Olkaba: I don’t, I’m like, you can’t have this. She just has the worst energy. She’s just gonna, she’s gonna try and ruin your day. Why would you, no, I would hire security, give them a picture and That would be it.

Christa Innis: Yeah, because it’s not her right to be at this wedding.

Saron Olkaba: Like,

Christa Innis: I’d be like You’re, you’re done. Sorry.

I don’t want you there. She’s a guest. She’s a guest. Yeah, you are nothing more than a guest who could easily be scratched right off. Um, at this ceremony, my sisters told me that my fiancé’s family had taken up the front rows on both sides of the pews. My mother in law refused to move, saying her parents can find another place to sit.

No, so now she’s rude to, like, her family.

Saron Olkaba: I, I’m, I, okay, like this would not be, go well

Christa Innis: for me, or, or, like, I, cause now you’re gonna be, like you said, you’re gonna be dealing with this mother in law for the rest of your life. Like, if it’s bad now, imagine like, if they have kids, or if they buy a house, you know, any step in there,

Saron Olkaba: I don’t understand why someone would, why anyone would sign up to deal with that forever.

Like, mm hmm. You’re asking to be miserable for the rest of you, what man is worth that? What man is worth having to deal with the devil day, no.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I really hope this ends with like, they cut her off. Like, they’re done with her, I hope. Fingers crossed. Uh, cause that’s like the only way this is gonna work, I feel like.

Um, okay. So she said she had to move. I had to ask the officiant to step in and remind everyone which side was for the bride’s family and which for the groom’s. This made my mother in law furious. After the ceremony, during photos, the photographer suggested moving one of my fiancé’s siblings to my side to even things out.

My sister in law loudly said, Hell no, I’m not going over there. I ignored it. At the bowling alley reception, my mother in law asked, “Who are these animals? Who

Saron Olkaba: are these beasts?

Christa Innis: I don’t know, why do they think they’re so much better than, like, her and her family? Oh, God. Jesus. It’s like I’m speechless. This is probably one of the worst mother in law stories I’ve read.

And I’ve read a lot. At the bowling alley reception, my mother in law refused to sign the guest book, despite me and my husband asking multiple times. When she finally did, she just wrote congratulations with no warmth, and she left without saying goodbye.

Saron Olkaba: Like why? That’s the nicest thing she’s done thus far.

That’s the most pleasant she’s been in this whole story.

Christa Innis: Yeah. The next day, my mom invited us to lunch before she left town. My mother in law didn’t contact us, but took my brother, my husband’s brothers to go go karting and sightseeing instead. When my husband asked why we weren’t invited, she said, you were busy.

We weren’t. Two days later, I made a Facebook post about the wedding and saw that my mother in law had untagged me from her earlier post. When my husband asked why, she said, it was a post only for you.

Saron Olkaba: Ew. Do you wanna f*ck your son? Like, what is going on here? Why? I’m sorry, can I, can I curse here? Yeah, you’re fine.

Christa Innis: A little late to ask that question, but. Redo! No. Yeah, it’ll be fine. I don’t know. That is, um, yeah, why? Like why? I don’t get these mothers-in-law that hate their daughters-in-law so much that they’re, that they have no, they don’t care like what they say, like, I don’t, like no one’s good enough for their son.

I don’t, I don’t know what it is.

Saron Olkaba: It’s an enmeshment. I think that’s the word. Or like, what is that, um, no, it’s emotionally incest, even worse. Yes. No, that’s creepy as hell. Right.

Christa Innis: There was this skit, I don’t know if you watch SNL. There was the, did you see, um, oh, who hosted the Timothee Chalamet one? No, I haven’t seen it.

This last weekend? Okay, you have to watch it, but there’s one about that, but it’s extreme, like the Oedipus Complex. It’s about like Mother’s Day and like the sun being like, hey mom. I don’t know, it’s like. I,

Saron Olkaba: I’m horrified that I’m going to be looking this up just immediately after we get off this.

You need to.

Christa Innis: It was like a cringe, but I was like. It’s like way over the top, but it was like some of these moms, yeah, I could see it. I find

Saron Olkaba: It’s like, once you meet this psycho mom, mother in law, right? How, and you see that this man sees nothing wrong with their relationship and kind of encourages it and won’t ask her.

How are you still attracted to this man that might want to f*ck his mom? Like, I, how do you not, how do you not get the ick immediately and run away from, like, self preservation?

Christa Innis: Yeah, like, cause this is, my thing is, this is not the first time something like this has happened. She had given signs before they got engaged, or when they first met, like, I’m thinking, like, first dinner at a parent’s house.

Every girlfriend

Saron Olkaba: had a book before

Christa Innis: him, before her. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, like, what were the signs before? Yeah, because it wasn’t like, oh, they’re engaged now, they’re serious, now my real, like, craziness is gonna come out. Like, I feel like she had to have treated her poorly before this.

Saron Olkaba: Right. And the sister in law is also a b*tch as well.

Christa Innis: Yeah, what’s the deal with that? Okay, three days after the wedding, she texted my husband saying she wanted to talk about my behavior at the wedding. What? He told her he wouldn’t have that conversation without me there, and she refused. A few days later, she blocked me on social media and deleted my husband?

So what her behavior was like having boundaries and like, No, expecting her

Saron Olkaba: parents to be able to sit in the front row. Yeah. And not allowing some, uh, the friend of a co-worker of her neighbor’s nephew to come last minute. Those were the things. Right. Those were the things.

Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s, it’s. Those are really harsh to have.

I mean, maybe blocking on social media and deleting the husband is like the best thing, because then you guys can’t see her on social media. I wouldn’t have said a thing

Saron Olkaba: about that.

Christa Innis: I would have

Saron Olkaba: said,

Christa Innis: great. I’m like, awesome. Yeah, you saved it. Saved, saved me from doing it. When I tried reaching out, she called my husband crying.

Here we go. The victim said she’d been crying every day because of how I treated her. When he defended me like a good, she hung up because she realized he was gone. He is not, he’s not backing you up anymore, crazy mom. He is now

Saron Olkaba: someone else’s husband. Not yours.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Not yours. Finally, my husband texted her saying she had two options.

Have a conversation or lose him. She replied, I guess I won’t be seeing you anymore then. I mean, I would say hallelujah.

Saron Olkaba: I would be like, I’m so sorry, babe. Yeah. It’ll be like, we’ll, we’ll get this. It’s just trying to keep my face straight. Okay.

Christa Innis: I know. I feel like the petty in me, I’d be like, I’d text her, I’d be like, well, have a great life. Best of luck. Yeah. Honestly, like I’m, I’m relieved, you know, and I really hope they don’t like to contact her.

And I hope it’s just like left that way because this, like we were saying, this mother in law would make her life a living hell.

Saron Olkaba: Yeah. But like do, like crazy mother in laws like this, like just like let it, like let things go. Oops. I know, did

Christa Innis: She came creeping back? It’s over, yeah, right. They’re not that easy to get rid of, I’m

Saron Olkaba: pretty sure.

Christa Innis: I wonder how, like, soon this, how soon she sent me this story after it happened. So, like, if this was, like, that day or, like, a week later.

Saron Olkaba: Yeah, we might need a, a, uh,

Christa Innis: Yeah, we might need her to like to follow. Yeah, we need to follow up. We need one of those episodes where it’s like you tell us like everything that has happened since.

Did she really not speak her word? Um, because yeah, it could be that victim mentality of like, fine, I guess I’ll never see you again. You know, so dramatic. Yeah. They show up at the front door. Let’s make up. But big

Saron Olkaba: romantic gesture.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Come back. Running back to them. Um, well that was a crazy story.

Um, really hoping that this, um, bride woman, um, got some stronger boundaries away from this mother in law because if she comes crawling back, you know, it’s, it’s going to be worse. I don’t think this, this woman’s not realizing what she’s doing wrong. Yeah.

Saron Olkaba: Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. There’s.

Saron Olkaba: I mean, honestly, this ended the best case scenario for me.

Like ideally if she, I mean, this is your best chance at peace, ma’am. So let’s just continue praying every night that she sticks to no content and contact, and you can live your life peacefully because she sounds. Absolutely horrible. But like, is your husband sad about it?

Christa Innis: I don’t, that’s not your problem.

Yeah. Yeah, I’m glad the husband I hope he kind of realizes like showing up at that dinner without her was kind of weird. Because it seems like later on in these stories, he’s defending her more. So I’m like, okay, maybe he went and was like, okay, the way my mom’s acting is weird. Yeah, it was

Saron Olkaba: weird for me to go to a wedding with, about, without the bride that I’m marrying.

Yeah, perhaps. That’s, that’s

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Saron Olkaba: That was weird. That was weird. Let’s do that. Jesus. Frig it. That was insane.

Christa Innis: That was, yeah. So, uh, props to you for keeping your boundaries up and I just hope it stays that way and, and uh, your husband realizes that. He needs to back you up first.

Saron Olkaba: Yeah, let us know if, um, if she stays out of your life.

I pray that she does. Yeah,

Christa Innis: yeah, I think I need to do, like, uh, there’s so many stories on here that I, like, need follow ups with, so I feel like I need to reach out to some of these people and be like, a follow up episode and, like, share what’s been going on since, since they sent it. Cause this was 2024, so we’re talking seven months later now.

Hopefully seven months of peace

Saron Olkaba: and quiet. So much peace and quiet. It’s like your first seven months being married. I would imagine you just want to enjoy that. You do want someone tainting every big life milestone. Every time you have kids, she’s going to make it a problem. Like, every holiday. Like, you’re literally signing up to never enjoy anything, almost, like, ever again.

Best case scenario is that she eliminates herself from the situation. Yeah.

Christa Innis: And she can feel like a victim all she wants and you can live your best life. So

Saron Olkaba: 100%. Yeah.

Wedding Confessions & Unfiltered Reactions

Christa Innis: Yeah. Okay. All right. So I like to end this with a weekly confessions game. So people send their confessions and we kind of just We can rate them.

Sometimes it’s kind of weird rating them because I feel like, I’m like, oh, your confession wasn’t great. So, um, we can rate them if we want. But, um, so people send these ones. Here we go. Um, my sister in law got mad she wasn’t my maid of honor and then questioned all of my wedding decisions.

Saron Olkaba: Uh, she sounds awful.

Uh, no wonder she was not your maid of honor. And you sound like you have discernment, ma’am. So,

Christa Innis: yeah. Sounds like she didn’t even know you knew why.

Saron Olkaba: You’re not allowed to. You’re not allowed to get mad at people for the choices that they make in their wedding, right? Like, if she feels that someone, she wanted to have someone be her maid of honor that’s not, like, her, what she did was her being honest.

Her changing her mind is just doing it to placate you. Why would you want that? Let her have whoever she wants beside her. If you’re her sister and you love her, whatever, make sure she has the day that she wants and it’s not about you. It’s literally not about you.

Christa Innis: Yeah, totally agree. Um, oh, this one tells a couple not to marry each other.

We begged, um, was begged by so many people up until the wedding to stop it. So I don’t know what the outcome was. I did see one similar, maybe this is the other part of it, but I did see one similarly where she said they still got married and she still regrets, like they still like regret, regret it or something.

Um, letting it happen? Yeah, yeah, she said she liked to tell a couple, yeah.

Saron Olkaba: You have to be okay with every possible outcome. You gotta play this every way, you know, like if I tell her and she is, Like, f*ck you, I never want to speak to you again. Is this worth me potentially losing my friendship? Is this, are his, are the problems with him big enough or dangerous enough that it’s worth risking her reacting poorly and me losing her and her being like, even more isolated with this person?

Like, you just have to think that through. Some, like, some hills are not worth dying on and others are. You just have to trust your gut. I know.

Christa Innis: Yeah, like, I’ve definitely been a part of a wedding where she Was very unhappy and you could tell it was, like, a bachelorette party. They were, she was very upset. Like, I don’t want to go through with this.

And we’re like giving her support, like, Hey, we’re here. Like, you don’t have to do it. Like I’m talking like the night before the wedding, like after the rehearsal dinner, crying in the car with us and long story short, they got a divorce. So like. It didn’t work out. And, um, Were there signs? There were lots of signs.

Lots of signs. I think you’re right. Like,

Saron Olkaba: literally weeping the night before your wedding. Yeah. Not of happiness is

Christa Innis: Yeah. Well, that’s the thing. It’s like, So we could have been like, no, you’re not gonna marry him. Like, we’ll beg, you know. But it’s like, ultimately, it was her decision. Like, she was worried, more worried about like, you know, vendors that they already paid and this and that.

And it’s just like

Saron Olkaba: Vendors? That’s like a couple emails and you just gotta be, okay, eating, believe me, I’ve done it before, eating like tens of thousands of dollars, not great, but like, but like that versus, divorces are more expensive, first and foremost. Yes. If you, if you have something worth losing and also like, just don’t, if you have the Ability to stop the train.

Stop the f*cking train.

Christa Innis: Yes.

Saron Olkaba: Yeah. As quickly

Christa Innis: as possible.

Saron Olkaba: Okay, like, don’t wait to get so far down the road.

Christa Innis: Yeah, did you see the girl who went viral because she was left at the altar? Like, literally the most terrible, like, humiliating thing, right? But she turned it into, like, this fabulous party and they documented the whole thing and I was like, you go girl.

Like, she like I don’t even know, like, she went viral of, like, sharing this, like, amazing video of herself dancing at the wedding, and, like, I was like, yeah, you know what? That’s what you do. You turn up, you have a great party, that’s what you gotta do. I saw

Saron Olkaba: That, and you’re 100 percent correct. She is, like, the strongest.

She’s, like, an inspiration. She completely turned it around, um, and, like, when something that, like, that happens, Like, two months before, like, with me, devastating day of, I can’t even f*cking imagine, I can’t imagine, and to be able to, like, to find some joy in that day, and like, actually Realized that, oh, there are a bunch of people here that really love me.

And this is like a very sad or scary moment for me. And I could either isolate myself and, and kind of immediately start dwelling in it. Or I would like to try and make the best of it with all these people who adore me and want to see me happy. And it was just, it was incredible to watch. And she’s an inspiration.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I love that. I’m like, I don’t know. I don’t know how it acted at something like that. But I’m like, she’s yeah, definitely an inspiration in that aspect. Um, well, that is all I have planned for today. Thank you so much for coming on. It was so fun chatting with you. Um, I love your content. I love all the stuff you talk about.

Like I said, I feel like I get all my like pop culture, like what’s going on in the world from you. Um, so can you share with everyone where they can find you any fun things you’re working on and all that good stuff?

Saron Olkaba: Yeah, um, you can find me at saronthings, S A R O N, things, um, on TikTok and on, uh, Instagram.

I’m going to be starting a YouTube series soon, um, two 30 minute pop culture breakdowns a week, so stay tuned for that, but yeah, I’m mostly on, uh, Instagram and TikTok.

Christa Innis: Awesome. Well, thank you again so much for coming on. Yeah, it was so fun. It was so great chatting with you. Right. Awesome.those, and hopefully those will come out sometime early 2025.

Christa Innis: Oh, that’s so cool! How awesome. You, like, you do it all. You’ve got a lot of projects. My brain doesn’t stop.

Cassie Horrell: It’s like I have an idea and I’m like, yeah, I’m just going to go for it. have no clue what I’m doing out here.

I’m just having fun and going with the flow.

Christa Innis: I love it. It’s that like planner mindset where you’re just like, okay, let’s just do it. Let’s get busy and find something. I love that. well, when those are available, definitely send me links and stuff and we can get it in the show notes. Well, thank you so much for coming on.

That was so fun having you react. Like I said, had some people tag you in like comments and stuff and now I follow your stuff and I like I love your content because you’re so involved in the wedding stuff that you’ve got stories for days so yeah

Cassie Horrell: but I feel like we have a very similar audience because we’re storytellers and like my whole page isn’t storytelling but Usually one a day, I try to tell stories and I get the same, like, people will be like, Did you see her story? And they’ll tag me, and I’m like, Oh, I saw it. That’s a juicy one. Yes.

Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s so good. I, can’t stop watching the, drama stories. They just, those ones just get me. Like, I love it.

Cassie Horrell: I feel like they’re like, a little bit of, like, reprieve from people’s everyday life.

Like, they come and they watch our stories, and it’s like, a minute and a half of like, totally Drama that they’re not in.

Christa Innis: Yes. And they get

Cassie Horrell: their little fix for the day, and then they’re like, Okay, I’ll come back tomorrow, like, see the next part, or whatever’s going on.

Christa Innis: Yes, yeah, it’s a good little, little break from reality, I think.

Yes. Awesome. Well, thank you so much again for coming on. It was awesome chatting with you. Thank you so much.

All right, guys, that was my interview with Cassie. I love chatting with her. It’s so fun to hear from someone that is so involved in the wedding industry. She’s got a lot of hot takes and she has. Honestly seen it all. So, thank you, Cassie, for coming on. Just a reminder, guys, if you love this episode or loving this podcast, please leave a review on Apple podcast.

It really helps more people hear the podcast. And helps me create more amazing content for you. so I really appreciate all the support that this podcast has gotten so far, and I can’t wait for more people to hear it and to create some more content. If you also have suggestions of who you want to see next on the podcast, feel free to send me an email, send me some submissions.

 I cannot wait to share more stories with more people. All right, guys, thanks so much for tuning in and I will see you next time.


The Good The Bad and The Unbelievable with Dominic and Serena

When the bride says no country music, but the groom’s father demands it… what could go wrong? 

Wedding chaos is inevitable, but when parents think the day is about them, things can spiral fast. Dominic and Serena, the husband-and-wife team behind The Wedding Duo, share their wildest stories from behind the scenes of wedding planning and DJing.

Should parents get a say if they’re paying? That’s just one of the controversial takes we tackle, along with strict dress codes, surprise weddings, and over-the-top in-laws. In this episode, they break down how to set boundaries while keeping the peace.

And what happens when an uninvited guest catches the bouquet? From family feuds to DJ battles, this episode is packed with unforgettable moments, wedding hot takes, and plenty of laughs. 

Don’t miss the drama—tune in now!

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction 

01:28 Meet the Wedding Duo

02:09 Social Media Success and Wedding Tips

04:41 Wedding Stories and Challenges

27:35 DJ’s Perspective on Wedding Music

30:55 Wedding Story Submission: A Series of Unbelievable Moments

45:13 Confessions Game: Wedding Drama Unveiled

48:40 Social Media Reactions and Final Thoughts

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • How Dominic and Serena built The Wedding Duo and started planning and DJing weddings together
  • The power struggle between couples and parents—who really gets the final say?
  • When wedding dress codes go wrong—should guests have free rein or follow strict rules?
  • DJ nightmares: Dominic’s worst experience with a father-of-the-groom demanding country music
  • The growing trend of surprise weddings—fun ideas or absolute disasters?
  • Why weddings without kids are such a hot debate—do kids add to or ruin the experience?
  • Wedding guests behaving badly—uninvited guests, bouquet snatching, and family feuds
  • The unexpected backlash on social media over a bride cutting her hair mid-reception

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  • “When a parent says, ‘Well, I’m paying, so I get a say,’ that’s when logic is out the window.” – Dominic Fournier
  • “It’s super helpful to have someone who’s not emotionally attached to the situation too.” – Serena Fournier
  • “We look at the event as a whole. Like, we’re trying to please everybody as much as we can, as best we can, but the couple is our target audience.” – Serena Fournier
  • “Some people just can’t help themselves—they HAVE to be the main character, even at someone else’s wedding.” – Christa Innis
  • “Weddings are already stressful, but throw in a drunk mother-in-law and an aunt in a white dress, and now we have a full-on reality show.” – Christa Innis

About Dominic and Serena

Dominic and Serena, better known as The Wedding Duo, are a husband-and-wife team dedicated to making wedding planning easier, more fun, and way less stressful for couples. With years of experience as wedding professionals, they offer expert guidance to DIY brides, helping them navigate the chaos of wedding planning with confidence.

As business owners, event pros, and parents of three, Dominic and Serena know what it takes to balance it all. They provide free resources, affordable planning tools, and personalized advice to couples looking to create their dream wedding without breaking the bank. 

From insider tips to real-world problem-solving, The Wedding Duo simplifies the planning process—so couples can focus on the joy of their big day instead of the stress.

Follow The Wedding Duo:

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

Love the show? Check out our merch!

Take the drama with you—literally.

From cozy hoodies to quirky mugs, there’s something for everyone in our collection. Your purchase helps keep the laughs coming, and it’s the perfect way to show your support.

🛍️ Shop Here

Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi guys, thank you so much for coming on today.

Dominic: Thanks for having us. 

Serena: We are excited to be here.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I’m so excited. I’ve been seeing your content for a while, and I love what you guys do. I love that you guys are both in the industry. So starting off, can you just talk a little bit about who you guys are, what you do, and then how you got into the industry?

How “The Wedding Duo” Started

Serena: Well, we are the wedding duo. So we’re a husband, wife, wedding planning, wedding DJ team. We originally started out in San Antonio, Texas, where we still own a company there that does entertainment and planning services for weddings. But we now travel the country and do weddings all over as a wedding duo.

We recently moved to Columbus, Ohio, in February of this year and bought a 20-acre property with the hopes. Of starting our own event space in the near future. So that’s a little synopsis of who we are and how we got into this?

Dominic: Well, it was weird during COVID things changed. Surprise, surprise, right?

Like a lot of things, just a little bit. Yeah. So we were, she said, Hey, I started a tick tock account. I go, okay. Cause that’s kind of what blew us up initially. And we’re on all the formats, but, and I was like, we did. Okay. And she goes, we’re going to the wedding. Do I go, what are we, what wedding do?

Okay. Cause you know, that’s not the name of our company, obviously in San Antonio. And so we just started like doing tips and tricks and you know, how social media works, you start throwing stuff against the wall, see mistakes. Thanks. yeah, we started getting a little traction and then we started getting better at it.

Some people had mentioned, Oh, I went back and watched all the videos. And I go, not all you didn’t go to the beginning. Those are like, I look back at that and I’m like, cringe, delete, delete. But it was all part of the process. And we always say when a bride gets a ring on her finger, she’s like, Oh my God, I’m engaged.

Like, what the heck do I do now? There’s just so much, so many decisions, so many little nuances. And they just. Ideally, they’ve never done it before and hopefully they never do it again. So it’s like They don’t know what even began. So we started just doing tips and tricks and it just really, people really were like,

Christa Innis: Yeah, I love that so much. I’ve heard the story so much about when COVID happened, it was like, TikTok, like, let’s go to social media. How can we think outside the box of like, expanding our business and people want to see, I feel like who they’re working with now, they want to. They want to learn more in just different ways.

Then it’s not that old fashioned just like go to a website and just scroll. It’s like they want to see firsthand what they’re going to get and learn.

Serena: Yeah. And that’s something too, I’ve talked before, about how trust has changed in the industry over the last very many, like five, six years.

And there are a lot of couples who don’t necessarily trust wedding vendors initially. And so that’s part of it. Two is they wanna see who you are. They wanna know you’re reputable, they wanna know you’ve, you’re gonna show up and like, because just there are horror stories right out there. Yeah. And they’re so visible now with social media.

So I think it’s important that you put a face behind a company and. A trustworthy thing for years. 

Dominic: That first call because I’m a DJ, right? I would have that first call where I’m trying to, it’s consultation, right? It was always like, Hey, let’s get to know each other. See if I’m the guy for the job. Now they mentioned like, I feel like I already know you.

I’m like, oh, okay. Well, am I available? And is it in the budget? I mean, because they already have such a heavy dose of my personality and our personality when they want to plan her as well. It’s really, it’s almost so easy.

Serena: It changes it.

Dominic: Yeah. I’m like, Just sign here. Yeah.

Christa Innis: You’re like right here. Yeah. You’re able to showcase those different areas of yourself where like before you weren’t really able to. And I feel like that’s what people are looking for. They’re like someone they can relate to and has a personality that’s going to do the job that they want them to do. and a little bit more.

So I love that. So did you guys like to meet doing weddings or did you guys start doing weddings after you guys got married and started dating or?

Serena: And we get asked about it all the time. So he introduced me to the wedding world. He was DJing when we met and I was looking for a part-time job, and he got an interview at a country club as an event assistant.

Dominic: And I knew that she mentioned to me, like she was, if I can just find somebody to help and I go, Oh, I actually have somebody that might be outgoing and people always look at me and my personality, but I go, she’s just, she’s really good with people. And she’s really good at keeping things calm, all the scenarios you talk about, she would diffuse that like that, right? Yes,

Serena: You need that. It’s necessary, but yeah, so we, I started working in the event space, he was working separately, this was out in California, it wasn’t until we moved our little family to Texas that we started working together, though when we built our company there.

Christa Innis: Oh, very cool. I love that. And, like, you talk about you being able to diffuse those situations of the skits that I share. It’s like, I feel like so many of them, if they had, like, so many of the stories that are sent to me, if they had, like, a planner or a day of coordinator or someone that was there, like, on their side, I feel like so many of these could be, like, helped out because I feel like there’s so many like communication issues and I get some of the family stuff like that’s you can’t really like, I don’t know if no one can help that.

You just have to have good boundaries, I guess. But, but like a day of stuff like you need someone there that’s going to be like on your side and, um, you know, with you every step of the way for sure.

Dominic: And that’s one of the reasons we talk about. I mean, not, it’s not in the budget for everyone to have wall-to-wall professionals, but that’s what you get.

You get people that. No, where the issue is before it even happens and they head off of the past, they let people know, like, no, that’s no, is the people like, we’ve had this conversation a hundred times before, before you can get to the next thought, which I know where you’re going. Like, we can already say,

Serena: Well, and it’s, it’s super helpful to have someone who’s not emotionally attached to the situation too.

Right? Like, yeah. I’ve had to play that role so many times where I’m just kind of like a calming voice in a room of chaos, right? So, um, I think that that is super helpful, especially on the actual day of the event.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Like, that’s like the bride I’m working with right now. She was like, I just need someone to like, keep me calm.

Cause I know my nerves are going to be really high. And so just like, You just need that exterior person, like you’re just talking about where it’s like, you’re not going to be involved in the drama. You’re not going to have a bias against, you know, someone or something like, let’s just stick on our timeline. Let’s, you know, make things flow. So it works well.

Dominic: Cause she gets everybody calm. And then I come into the bridal suite, like, Oh, great. We had everybody calm and here I come in like, Oh, like a wrecking ball. That’s what I do. I bring humor into it a lot. And I try to get people to like, like, you know, cause I always say like, how are you feeling about the bride’s shoes?

I’m nervous. I am nervous on your wedding day. And they’re like, I know. And so it’s just a little thing that little dad jokes that she’s so tired of. If they’re still getting their hair and makeup done, I’ll make a joke about my hair, of course.

Christa Innis: You need that to kind of loosen up the nerves. 

Serena: And I have learned that it is.

As much as I roll my eyes, it is a valuable tool that he brings. To the party, right? It’s just that like interjection of humor and a sense of calm and like, oh, okay, let’s not all take ourselves so seriously. 

Dominic: And they forget that it’s supposed to be a celebration. It’s supposed to be fun. But before you start, oh my God, everybody’s just puckered up so tight. And they’re like, everybody’s taking a breath.

Christa Innis: Yes, absolutely. So getting into the reason why people love hearing these stories, the hot takes, the drama, do you guys have any, like, being in the industry, do you guys have any crazy stories that you would like to share, that you’ve witnessed, heard, what have you?

When the DJ Becomes the Mediator

Dominic: So, like we mentioned, like, it’s, and I think, the scenarios you talk about, I think, are few and far between, but when they happen, it’s just, that’s what you talk about, right? It’s almost like the morning after. Oh, how was the wedding? Oh my God, the cake fell over. Like, that’s, that was one tiny thing that happened, but it’s the first, they want to tell what happened, what was the drama, right?

but I did have a scenario where, and I’m, I’m really good with people and I’m really, like I said, I’m good about diffusing. I’m very professional. I’m an adult. I try to be an adult and I don’t drink. So that’s, that’s. And that’s what, that’s what came into this one. Father of the bride, we’re in Texas. He was a good old boy.

He wanted nothing but country music. The bride, who was not his daughter. That was his daughter-in-law. So he’s the father of the groom’s wanted country. Did I say, bride? Father of the groom wanted a country. His new daughter-in-law said. I don’t want any country. So here I am in the middle with her being my client, right?

She signed the contract. He is so mad at me because I will not. So I even went up to him. I’m like, I would tell him repeatedly, the bride doesn’t want it. I go, when I went to the bride, like, can you please let me do a couple of country songs just to get him chilled out? And I did not do enough. He was literally walking in front of the DJ booth at one point.

Points at me and says worst effing DJ ever. I’m like, are you kidding me? I mean, I care so much. I’m so in the weeds about making sure everything goes perfectly. And so, and he’s sitting over there on the side like this. And so I’m like, again, I’m an adult. I walked up to him saying, can you appreciate my position?

I’m between the bride and it’s her day, right? I know you’re the father of the groom. You think it’s all about you hiring me another day and I’ll do your country playlist all night, but she hired me. It’s her day and she and her friends want to party. It’s not you and the boys at the country club playing in your country.

He did. He literally bowed me up and kind of bumped me a little bit. I’m like, You’re joking. Are you joking about this? He was well into the booze at this point. So I’m like I’m, just gonna remove myself from this guy, but it was like one of those moments and it’s still like Those memories are what sticks in your, in your head.

Even though I’ve had a thousand parents above me, he’s stuck in there. And I’m like, yeah.

Christa Innis: Because especially you can put so much care into your job and what you’re doing. And you’re like, I’m literally doing the best job I can do. And they can’t see past that. Like you are helping your client first. That’s like her day, oh my gosh.

Serena: Yeah. And it’s, it’s also, we. We do a lot of planning prior to the event, obviously, right? But even with the music piece, he sits down and has meetings with the client. So it’s like, it’s not like he’s just going off the fly and playing what he wants to hear, right? This has all been planned out and set up prior to the event.

So I don’t know.

Dominic: And people are weird about their music. I mean, people’s taste in music is just as personal as their taste in food or whatever, right? Like, so when they come up and somebody is like, turn this off, nobody wants to hear this. And I’m like, maybe the crowded dance floor would speak differently, right?

Cause I’m like, you’re not seeing plus. When they come up and say, Hey, can you play this song? And I go, no, it’s not your day. Random guests. Like it’s the couple who have given me music to play and I’m going to play their music as a priority. Plus whatever. It just usually gets the crowd going. So it’s the whole thing.

They don’t, they don’t get it. Sometimes, you know, the people that don’t get it, the people you do your skits with, they don’t get it. Right.

Christa Innis: They don’t get it. I know it’s, it’s hard. Cause I feel like. Like the father of the groom, they see it as their day to like presents to their friends or, you know, whoever’s there and it’s like, Oh, these are my, like you said, like my country boys, like, we love this.

And it’s like, get that out of your head for a little bit. And just like riding groom day.

Serena: Yes. There’s a time and a place for that, right? Like for your group of friends and your music. This is not it.

Dominic: You have a cowboy hat? Easy. Father of the groom, put the cowboy hat on.

Serena: There you go.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. That’s crazy.

That is. I’ve never heard of someone getting so like, yeah, like you said, like people get very into their music, but I can’t imagine someone just going up to a DJ and saying that like knowing the dance floor is busy. People are enjoying music. It’s just you, sir.

Serena: It happens a lot, honestly. I mean, not to that extent, but, um, we have a team of DJs like in San Antonio and they talk about, you know, they get flipped off by a guest because they wouldn’t play a request, but alcohol is also a big factor, right? People get really upset.

Dominic: And again, it’s the exception, not the norm, but, and then when it does happen if it’s a random guest, like I have no problem saying like, you didn’t, the only reason I’m, the only reason you’re here is because they decided to get married. They hired me to be here for this party.

They’re giving you booze, they fed you just to enjoy the party. Right. But they’re like, but they get mad that they won’t play their song. But I’m like, they don’t, but a random guest is easy, but when it’s a parent, a father of one of the couple, that was where I’m like, okay, now I have to tread a little lighter.

You know, it was just, and again, it was really random, but I want dibs. You mentioned me. You mentioned Jesus’ story.

Christa Innis: Yes. No, I will totally give you credit if I do that. And, and I’m wondering too, it’s like, cause the story that I’m, I just did like a skit where the mom was like, um, talking about like an open bar, the bride didn’t only want to like wine and beer.

And the mom was like, well, we’re paying for it. So I’m wondering too, do you ever get people that are like, well, I’m paying for the DJ or I’m paying for this portion of the wedding. So I should get a say, and they don’t understand like, no, your client is still the first person. 

The Parent Paycheck Problem

Dominic: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It’s the worst. The minute they drop that exact line. Well, I’m paying. I know. Okay. So the logic is out the window. Yeah, you’re just the string is there.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Dominic: Nothing else matters. Well, I wrote the check. Okay. All right. It’s the worst. But yeah, it comes up a lot.

Serena: It does. I mean, they pull that card and it’s really unfair, right?

Because yes, that’s true. But we look at the event as a whole, right? Like we’re trying to please everybody as much as we can, as best we can, but the couple is our target audience, so just because you’re paying for it, I mean, that happens so much too throughout the planning process with parents because they’re like, they contributed to a certain portion of the day.

And so they want to be able to have more say in what happens with that, whether it be decorations or cake or something. Right. Um, and it puts the couple in a weird spot because what if they don’t, that’s not their vibe or that’s not what they had in mind, you know, they’re strings attached and it’s, it’s difficult.

Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s still one of the most controversial things I see when I make a video about something because I do longer like YouTube videos and I’ll talk about it. I’d like to read a story someone sent me. And still in the comments, people are like, well, if someone’s paying, they should have every right to change something.

No, they shouldn’t. If the bride wants to include the bride or groom wants to include the parent, that is their choice. Like, get opinions. Absolutely. Bring them along to a tasting. Sure. But to go over their head and change something or feel like they have authority over them is just wrong. 

Dominic: In my opinion, it’s always, the one I just watched, the one that you’re talking about with alcohol.

The first thing I thought of was like, usually it’s. When the alcohol comes to somebody who brought it in like they have a flask, they have a bottle, there’s a surprise, they have it at the table, and that doesn’t go, and then the bartenders or the staff or the wedding planner will literally be like, can’t have this, and takes it, and they’re like, and

Serena: they get so upset, yeah, and

Dominic: it’s not just that it was expensive, but it’s like, no, that, you just took the party, like, that’s like, we’re doing shots at the table, you, most actual establishments, you can’t do that, or you can’t have it in the broom suite, you can’t have, you can’t bring your own booze in, that’s like, Should be obvious, but you get some people with the good old boys that bring it.

I don’t want to say guys, and girls do it too, but I mean, it’s, it’s, it boozes. Yeah, you gotta have it, but it’s like it brings a lot of drama with it, right? So

Christa Innis: yeah, I know someone just commented on the video either that part or another one and they said they read a wedding once where It actually got shut down because someone was sneaking in alcohol and because we don’t think about the liquor laws Some places don’t have the liquor license to have it or if you agree to a certain contract and you bring other stuff in they Could they could shut down like lose, you know different licenses or lose privileges.

So like they have to protect themselves People don’t think about that

Dominic: Well, and kids, it’s under 20, not even kids under 21, like the 19-year-old sitting at that table. That keeps hitting the shots. Yeah, that’s just getting in trouble when they get in a car crash on the drive home, the venue, people, the bartenders.

Yeah. And it’s like, they got to protect themselves. So, but they don’t. People just can’t, like, think two more steps ahead to figure that out. It’s like, there’s a reason we do this this way, so.

Christa Innis: All right, let’s jump into some wedding hot takes. So these are a couple of different prompts that people have shared before.

I want to get your guy’s opinion on it. So, do you think weddings should have strict dress codes, or should guests be free to wear what makes them feel comfortable?

Do Weddings Need Strict Attire Rules?

Serena: Oh, that’s a great question. So I think if it’s important to the couple, right, that they have an overall aesthetic, okay, let’s say they want, you know, a black tie type of an event, um, then the guest should comply with that, right?

Like they, they can put it on their invitations and they can choose not to come if they don’t want to get dressed up to that, um, level. But for the majority of events, I see, and I’m just saying kind of. What is more common, there is a certain expectation of, you know, dressing nice, but also not wearing white and, you know, um, not necessarily like a dress code, unless requested, I guess, if that makes sense.

Dominic: Oh, I had a stepmom recently. I’m like, and that’s the big book of wedding protocol, right? Page one, don’t wear white. Like, I feel like that what people know, right? And she was in this white dress and I was just like, oh, and of course, right away, the bride’s like. Honestly, like, and everybody else is like, you know what you’re doing.

You’re just stirring the pot. You’re kicking the bee’s nest. When I was DJing in California, where we met, I used to really have a problem with denim. And I’m like, really, you thought wearing jeans to the wedding was appropriate. And then I got to Texas and the wedding party is in jeans sometimes, but it’s, but that’s their vibe.

They’re cowboy hats and jeans. They’re nice jeans, you know, but, uh, but then there’s the other extreme where somebody wore a ball cap and you’re like, no, just a guest, a random wedding party. They’re in the loop. For these things, but I, I, I think people should dress up. I’m not a fan. And

Serena: I think they should do, but I think if an expectation of a certain attire is something you have in mind, you really need to put it out there and make sure that people are aware.

Right. That’s my only kind of. Caveat on that,

Dominic: but we’ve had people that in the wedding party or parents sometimes like they finish the ceremony and they’re just so uncomfortable in the suit or dress, they go and change and they’re back and they’re in their khakis or their T-shirt, and we haven’t even taken the pictures yet of that.

There’ve been grooms of that. They said like. You got to go back and change back. And I’m like, it’s just the craziest thing. And I’m like, you can’t just, just for just a few hours, you can’t stay dressed up. They just can’t do it.

Christa Innis: I know though the wedding I held with, uh, early last year, um, day of coordinator and.

Then, one of the, like, brides, like, new sister-in-law was, like, I think probably under 20, so she was maybe 18, 19. Complained about the dress the whole time. Literally, the second the wedding was over, went and changed, and they were like, We need you back! And, like, it was one of those where it was constantly, like, come on, like, stand up, like, we gotta get you in pictures.

Smile! Like, it was just, like,

Serena: constant.

Christa Innis: Right. So that’s hard. And, it’s hard, especially when you want them involved in the wedding and you’re like, come on, just wear this dress for like just a couple hours. Like, help me out here. But, um, but yeah, people get really like I’ve seen in the comments. People get really upset when it’s like, like, don’t tell me what to wear if I’m coming to your event.

But I agree where it’s like, let’s how you would normally dress than just like a little nicer for an event. But yeah, like sometimes you see jeans at weddings and it’s like, Sometimes it’s fine. It fits. If it fits their theme, go for it. Um, but yeah, it’s hard. That’s just it.

Dominic: It’s a pretty casual event. And everybody, all events are different.

But when it says black tie, make an effort, right? Like, go out. The thing that gets me into something I bring up as well is, let’s say you’ve got the wedding party and their plus ones at the head table. And then your sister starts dating this guy a month before and he shows up in the dirty ball cap. And now he’s at the head table

Serena: in the

Dominic: pictures and then they break up a week later.

Serena: And

Dominic: you’re like, are you going to be in every one of the pictures? So,

Christa Innis: yeah,

Dominic: That’s one of them. Yeah. 

Christa Innis: And you never know if you’re going to be and like. I think most people probably don’t think about this. Maybe just like being kind of in the industry, but like you could be in the background of a video, like if a videographer is there, you can be in the background of a photo or like when they’re taking ceremony photos, you don’t want to see like someone’s like, you know, backward cap, you know, in the audience or something.

So just thinking about those things. Let’s see. So this one. Okay. How do you feel about couples hosting a surprise wedding instead of announcing it in advance?

Surprise Weddings: Bold or Reckless?

Dominic: A surprise wedding? I can’t say I’ve ever been a part of that.

Serena: Yeah, I don’t think I have either, but the thought kind of terrifies me a little bit. As a planner. Yeah, like I’m like, Oh my God, like how that adds such an extra level of stress and Just dynamic to the whole thing, right? 

Dominic: Well, if we were in there from the beginning and we helped plan the surprise, that would be me. I’d be like, let’s do a first dance. I don’t know. What is your name?

What’s up? Like it would be, we couldn’t be surprised. We would have to be in on the loop, but it still brings in a whole, it would be a whole different, a whole different event.

Serena: Absolutely.

Christa Innis: I picture like. really upset parents. Like, I don’t know. Like, that makes me think that maybe if they did one, or if they’re planning on doing one, it’s like someone like maybe parents don’t agree.

And then they’re planning a party. Like, I feel like I’ve read a story where someone submitted it to me and they were planning a surprise wedding just to kind of be like, well, we’re already married, so you can’t do anything about it. Sorry. Surprise. Yeah. It’s like, I would never personally do that, but.

I guess they teach their own, but it’s almost like, I feel like someone that does that is like, they just don’t want other opinions to be brought in.

Serena: Exactly. And I think it would depend on, like, their motives, right? Maybe they’re just like, like you said, they don’t want any other opinions through the process, they don’t want those.

Dominic: It’s just a low, but it’s almost like you want to like, Oh no, I’m sticking it to the person. Like mom is going to hear about this. We’re going right. We’re going to see their faces.

Christa Innis: Yeah, go for it.

Dominic: That’s what I said. Go for it.

Wedding Hot Takes: Debating the Controversial Opinions

Christa Innis: Yeah, exactly. You do you. Yeah, exactly. Okay, next section is pick a side on wedding drama debates. So, these are things, unpopular opinions that people send me on Instagram. They’re not always unpopular because sometimes I’m like, oh, I agree with that, but they might be a little more controversial.

So, let me know what you guys think about these. So, the first one says weddings are better with kids.

Serena: So we actually disagree on that. Like, between the two, I mean, like, we’re more on one side than the other. I like adult -only events. And he loves kids, just in his life, like, right? So, he doesn’t mind the chaos that can occur with children.

In general, right? 

Dominic: It’s not even kids. Usually it’s the parents, right? Cause you know, when they’re like that, it takes a village. No, your little terror is running. Because I’ve had kids, they had a little packet of toys for the kids. Like, cause you know, there’ll be coloring books, coloring books. Great. But this one had bouncy balls in it.

Christa Innis: Oh, no.

Dominic: Anybody listening? Terrible idea. Don’t give the kids. There was a little boy, literally, during the first dance, bouncing a ball across, running across, picking it up, throwing it across, and I’m like, looking around like, where is the parent? So that’s nonsense. When the, when the, when the parents just don’t care and the kids are just like, Yeah, I don’t like that, but just they’re in the family too.

But again, that’s really, people have a camp, kids or no kids. They’re like, I’m not sure. No, they already know. So it’s a big thing.

Christa Innis: Yeah. People are so passionate about it. When I post about it, like they’re like, how disgusting that a bride and groom would not include kids. And then on the other end, it’s like, no, I don’t want to go.

I don’t even want my own kids there or something like that. And I’m like, I, if I get invited to a wedding and my daughter’s not invited, I’m like, That’s fine. She’ll have fun with Nana and Papa. Or, you know, or if I, if she has invited, I’m like, great, you know, and I, she’s so small now where I’m like, I probably wouldn’t bring her that’s because I’m like, I’d rather have like a night out.

But you know what? Like to each their own for like bride and groom. I don’t know. It’s just me bouncing the balls and I’ve heard crazy stories and you are 100 percent right where it’s when the parents don’t watch the kid because they’re kids. They’re going to get into stuff. We know this about kids.

but yeah, if like a cake gets knocked over because of a kid, is it really the kid to blame or is it parent not wanting to

Dominic: share some of that? Responsibility.

Christa Innis: Yes, but I’m like my purse like we invited all our nieces and nephews because I was like, I couldn’t imagine getting married without my nieces and nephews there, but like when it came to like friends, kids or like distant relative kids that I barely see, I’m like, and I, and most of my friends were like, I would rather have a night out with my husband.

Dominic: If you think about it, how many times do they have a corporate Christmas party? The kids don’t go to that. Like it’s not a, it’s a thing. If it’s going to be a grownup party, yeah, the kids don’t go. But to your point, I would say just bring the ones, you know, like if you’re. Person from work. You don’t even know their spouse.

They’re bringing their kids. Like, you know, of course not pay for them. No, absolutely not. So I agree. But again, I, I, I enjoy chatting with the kids. He

Serena: does. He’s like the kid whispers, like the pied piper wedding is there and the little kids like to follow him around. I get a lot

Dominic: of assistant DJs. And sometimes I’m like, okay, we need to yeah.

I can’t get to the board because they’re all back there. What song is next? Is this microphone on? I’m like, put the microphone down.

Christa Innis: Right. Well, I think I was always like, I always heard this story growing up from my mom where they were having no kids at their wedding, my parents. And one of my, I think it was like my dad’s coworker or something was like, Oh, like we’re RCPing with our two kids.

And they were really mad that the kids were not invited. And so my parents were like, okay, fine. You know what? We’ll add them on, you know, we’ll give them. Two seats day of the like, and you know, it was expensive. Like you still have to add on these kids meals the day of the wedding. They didn’t come and they acted like it was no big deal.

Like my parents were like, Oh, where’s so and so and so and so they didn’t want to come. My parents were like, you made this huge thing. We extended it for them. And then they didn’t even like to come. So those are the

Dominic: People, these are the same people. They’re all going to that same pile.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Serena: Just that level of like.

Selfishness, I think, is what it comes down to. Yeah, like, only being able to see how it affects themselves. Totally.

Dominic: It’s a selfish thing, I think, for sure.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Okay, so this next one says Alright, so this is a good one, since you’re a DJ. Songs that have specific dances, like Cupid Shuffle, for example, alienate people from the dance floor.

Dominic: Uh, I would say it’s the opposite. Yeah. For a DJ, it’s kind of low hanging fruit because if I’m trying to get the dance floor energized, whatever people, I mean, I don’t even know if your wedding counts if you didn’t wobble at the reception. Right? So I’m just kidding. But it is like, there are people that will only dance to the line dances because they don’t like it, they don’t think they can dance, but they know they can follow the moves like everyone else.

And there are nights where they want, like, can we do the boot scootin’ boogie, followed by the Cuban shuffle, followed by the wobble, followed by the cha cha slide. I’m like, absolutely not. I mean, I will sprinkle them in, but I don’t want, yeah, I don’t want, I, again, it’s their day, but it’s really, it’s another thing.

Some people are like, no line dances. And then other people are like, Oh, we love them. I’m like, okay. And overall, there’ll be a night where I’m really muscling through a dance floor. Because I can only work with the crowd I have. But they’ll literally come out, do the line dance and then disappear on me again.

I’m like, I can’t get any more venom. It’s not usual, but. Again, not everybody, but overall, yeah, it’s, it’s,

Serena: It’s still a thing. And I don’t think it alienates people unless, I mean, I guess like for that song, right? Like it’s usually just one or two, if we play them and

Dominic: yeah. If I’m a guest, I love to dance, but I’m like, knock yourself out.

Kick your right foot, kick your left foot, turn around. It’s like a hokey pokey. I’m like, I’m going to get a drink at that point.

Serena: Exactly. Like, yeah, I don’t think it changes the overall.

Dominic: Yeah, but I’m in the minority. The minute I play cha cha slide, I’m like, here they come, here they come. But what’s cool about it is the little kids know it because they do it at the middle school dance.

Right. Grandma knows it because it’s been around 20, 30 years. So it’s one of those, like you look at all walks of life, all generations, because it’s a wedding. It’s not a club. You got four generations there. Right. And I want everyone to dance and that’s one of the songs that we’ll get

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Dominic: It’s crazy.

Christa Innis: So I totally agree with that. I’m the wobble girl. I always wobble at weddings. Yeah. And it’s funny too, because it’s like, that one’s obviously a little bit newer. I feel like when I was in college, that’s when I started hearing that more. But um, like I remember at my wedding, like my mom was like, Oh, how would I do it?

So we’re all trying to teach. And I think it’s just like a fun moment for a family, you said, like multiple generations to come in. But, but yeah, maybe like the hokey pokey or like the chicken dance, we don’t always need those. But you know, Yeah. Yeah. You know,

Dominic: And there’s even like people would say the YMCA is one that’s kind of a lot.

It is like the part in the middle, right? Or what about Miss, uh, Chappelle Rowan, like H O T T O, right? It’s like, and people were like, what are they doing? And I’m like, some people know it, some people don’t, but I always say like, is it going to stay? And is it going to really get momentum?

Cause Like the wobble has been around. It’s one of the newer ones, but the cubit shuffle is over. Cha cha slide has got to be 25 years old, but they still know it and do it. It’s still relevant. I use that. Word loosely, but, uh, I don’t have to go say yeah.

Serena: Relevant in the wedding. Yes. I’m running differently than the rest of the world.

The Wildest Submissions Yet

Christa Innis: Yeah. Okay. I know, like we’ve had so much fun chatting, but I want to get into this week’s wedding story submission. So we can kind of react to it. So I’m going to read it and then, um, I’ll make little pauses and stuff too, or just feel free to start like. Cut me off if you want to start talking about how crazy it is.

Like I said, before we started recording, I’ve not read it yet. So we’ll see what we’re going to get. Sometimes they end. Not too crazy and just a little like a learning moment. So here we go. All right. Our wedding happened two years ago, but it’s too much of a WTF moment to not share. I love your skits, and this could honestly be a whole series.

The day of our wedding, there were so many moments that were just shocking, but also you just have to laugh and shake your head. My husband and I stayed in separate rooms the night before, but they were right across the Oh, they. Okay, she missed this. I’m guessing her in laws. Says they were right across the hall.

I had hair and makeup in my room for all the bridesmaids and the moms. Everything was going smoothly until my mother in law came in to get her hair done and she was already buzzed from drinking. Here we go, another drinking one. She was saying things like, I can’t believe you’re taking my baby from me. Who is going to take care of me?

Why does this day have to happen? Mind you, my father in law is very much alive, and my husband has another brother.

Dominic: So it was all on him apparently. Yeah.

Christa Innis: This is the one.

Dominic: This is the golden child of the family.

Christa Innis: Oh yeah. And it’s funny too because like people always be like, oh this is so dramatized and I’m like, but sometimes like people are like, no this happened word for word to me.

Right.

Dominic: Absolutely. We all know these people.

Christa Innis: Yeah. The time had come to say our personal vows, and we were doing our first touch pictures. It was to be in his room on the balcony so we could get fall colors in the background. The only people invited were our photographer and videographer. While I was reading my vows, we heard and saw his aunt from the ground screaming that she loves my husband.

We ignored her, but she persisted, so my husband had to politely tell her to go away. Um, next came walking down the aisle. Him and I were both crying and had locked eyes the second I entered the aisle. I was midway through getting him, through getting to him when the other aunt suddenly grabbed my arm and started rubbing my shoulder.

I’ve been to 12 weddings and have never seen or heard of anyone doing this. I’m sure it was to try to comfort me. But not the time or the place. No.

Absolutely not. Yeah, what are we doing here? We finished up our ceremony and moved on to pictures. That’s why I noticed his third aunt. Okay, lots of aunts here. Yes. Dressed in all white.

Serena: Mmm, there it goes.

Christa Innis: Floor-length gown and all.

Serena: Yep, they do it.

Dominic: Does she have a bouquet? Was she carrying

Christa Innis: a bouquet? Her own bouquet and everything.

She had a veil, I’m guessing, so. So my photographer positioned her to stand directly behind me, so all you could see was her head. Smart photographer.

Dominic: Very good. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Family pictures were going well until we told everyone we were going to do our own one on one pictures. Mother in law had to be told and finally was removed as she wanted to join our pictures and tag along.

Serena: Yeah, let go. The umbilical cord has been severed. Yes! Oh my god.

Dominic: I hope they move out of the country, because this is the only way you’re going to serve this time. Yeah.

Christa Innis: This reminds me of the, uh, Everybody Loves Raymond situation. Like, we’re moving across the street, we’re going to come in the back door.

Serena: Yeah, exactly. Show up unannounced all the time. Oh, wow.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Once the reception hit, all the stress and anxiety was over, or so I thought. We had our dance and then my dad’s daughter danced. My husband goes to grab his mom and at this point she is wasted drunk. She kept yelling at him to twirl her, dip her, and make a whole scene.

The rest of the reception did go fairly well and I wouldn’t change a thing. But if you have, if you need more, I have my whole side of the family that apparently was competing to see who could be the bigger S show. Then we now have my whole pregnancy, which is also filled with drama. And that’s a whole other can of worms.

Serena: Right. Yes.

Christa Innis: So that’s,

Serena: That is, I can only imagine this mom now with a baby. that, yeah, it’s like

Dominic: They say, you’re not just marrying that person. You’re marrying the whole family.

Serena: But

Dominic: I mean, not, not really. I mean, you see him like most families, you just see holidays periodically, birthdays. But if they’re next door, if it’s that.

Everybody loves the Raymond scenario. Yeah. They are under your feet and it sounds like she probably didn’t move far.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And like. This is like a small, small detail that seems like they, I’m wondering if the bride or the mother of the groom asked for the room across the hall because I find it very interesting.

Um, oh, you know, I might’ve read that wrong. It sounds like her husband stayed across the hall the night before, but when the mother in law came in, it sounded like she was already just trying to stir the pot and just trying to make it about her. But

Serena: It’s so unfortunate. We did once on our feed where he talked about.

The mother of the groom, getting a photo with her son, like making sure that she had a moment with her son,

Dominic: like a first touch with the first look with the, with the father, the bride, which we see a lot,

Serena: Like, like, then it was important for the mother of the groom to be able to get those moments too, because it is right.

But this is the extreme, right? Like get the moment, but then also know that this isn’t about you, right? Like you, you of course are a big part of the two families coming together. But essentially it’s about the couple and, um, yeah, I, I don’t,

Dominic: It’s funny you mentioned that. And that’s the first thing I thought of too, was that, that video.

Cause I saw it once and I go, what a great idea. Because sometimes the groomsmen and the groom are already ready. And the bridesmaids take a little longer. Your gender takes a little longer to get ready often. Um, but the mom is sometimes ready. Cause she was usually early in the chair to get the hair and makeup done.

Just grab the photographer who sometimes is, you know, taking detailed shots or waiting and just have a quick, like, just the same thing. Walk up, tap him, because he’s always in that dirty Aerosmith shirt with the hole in the pit and the khaki pants and the Crocs. He’s dressed, he’s never looked better.

Mustache tamed, hair is cut, he’s groomed. Have a moment where you’re like, Oh my God, you look great. I’m so happy for your big wedding day. Hug it out, get a picture, wipe a tear, scene. And we’re good. Yes. The moms and the mothers of the bride were like, It is not about her. It is about me. The same ones. These people are like, they took it as an attack.

Like, no, it is me and my family and the bride’s. I go, what? Half of the guests are there because Of him and his family. It’s crazy. People get so personally attacked.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And I find it funny too, like people kind of call themselves out sometimes in the comments because it’ll be like a mother in law story that someone sent me and someone will comment.

Why do you only talk about mother-in -laws? Mother of the bride is bad too. And I’m like, okay. I mean, if someone tells me a story, I will ask. And I try to mix up what I’m talking about. But why, like, when I see a story about a bride, I don’t get offended because I’m like, I wasn’t like that, you know what I’m saying?

Like, it’s like, if you see a story and you’re offended and like, maybe we should look at, look in the mirror

Serena: a little bit of, you know, internal. Are you the

Dominic: lady from the story?

Christa Innis: Yeah. People will be like, are you, this is, are you in this story? Yeah. Yeah, I should reach out to this person and be like, do you want to share more for like a part two?

More, yeah, wow. I want to know about this, like, I mean, I’m good at photography for thinking quickly and being like, let’s move the amp behind you. But, all white, like, and I was someone like, you know, I had Like even to my bachelorette party, I remember one of my cousins being like, I bought a dress that has white in it.

Is that okay? I’m like, I don’t care. You could wear an all white dress. I’m not that person. I don’t care. But to just assume, or just to show up in a gown at someone’s wedding is very bold, very bold. You’re asking for people to like to ask questions or to like to notice you at that point.

Dominic: And like you said, a picture like in the background.

I’ve also seen where they have a really extreme, like, neon pink dress or something, and I get that that’s sometimes the thing, but we had one and it was really bright, and it was like a gown. It’s like, poofed out and everything. I think she had, like, some kind of a tiara looking thing too in her hair, and I’m like, and again, every picture she was like Bigfoot.

There she was in the background, because she glowed, right? Right. And it’s like, it’s not, it’s not your day. It’s not about you, but some people just don’t, that doesn’t. Yeah. They can’t

Serena: not like to stand out in social settings. Right.

Dominic: That could be the title of every one of your stories. It’s not about you, but let’s tell the story.

Yeah.

Christa Innis: I feel like I’ve quoted that so many times in these skits. I’m like, well, it’s not about you, but like people still, and the irony of it too, is like these, the mother in law, especially in this story, that’s like, don’t take my baby away from me. Like, why does this have to happen? The more they act like that.

The less they’re going to see their son, because the wife’s not going to want them around. For

Serena: That matters. Right. Like who wants that overbearing mother in law when you, especially when you’re a new mom and like, Oh my gosh, how can

Dominic: You do not connect the dots on that? Right.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I feel like ’cause people like that are just the main character of their own story, so they don’t see how they can be the issue, that’s to say, yeah, yeah.

She, the bride, is the villain at that point.

Dominic: Terrible bride. How dare she take her?

Christa Innis: Terrible. I’ve seen that a lot too. People will comment like, well, brides, or what, what did they say? Like, brides are villains too. And I’m like, yeah, I’ve shared some where brides are not the, the, you know, main protagonist or whatever.

They’re like, and I’m like. Or, you know, they’ll just kind of be upset at the story, how it comes out. And I’m like, I just, I just get a story and I just make it into it.

Serena: It’s so interesting. We, um, we had a video recently where we showed our bride, she cut her hair right after the ceremony. So

Dominic: today, this morning, I saw another bride doing it as a surprise

Serena: to her groom,

Dominic: mid reception, like the.

We started the dance floor and then, yeah, and then

Serena: We took her back. She had her aunt come in to the stylist and cut her hair and it was really fun and fabulous and crazy. Yeah. But, and okay, we posted on Tik TOK. We posted on Instagram and there were a few comments on those platforms. And, but a lot of them were like, this is, she looks great on Facebook.

Christa Innis: Mean.

Serena: We’re so upset. They were like,

Christa Innis: how

Serena: Dare you? You are being deceitful to your husband. He married you with long hair and now he’s going to be disappointed.

Dominic: I mean, they were so,

Serena: They were so mad.

Dominic: So you’re on social media. You understand, right? We have videos. And TikTok and Instagram and Facebook are similar, but if we put the same video on all three, we’ll have one that blows up on one and it does that on the other one.

So that one has 20, 000 on TikTok, maybe about the same on Instagram, 4. 5 million on Facebook. We’ve never had a video, never had a video go that big on Facebook before. And every comment

Serena: is pissed off, almost. It is

Dominic: ridiculous, the things they’re saying.

Christa Innis: I find Facebook is kind of like the meaner out of all of them and like with this whole like possible like TikTok ban, it’s funny, like one of the first comments I saw about it, this woman was like, Oh, that’s good because you know, TikTok bullying and stuff.

I want to be like, Facebook has the like, Facebook has the meanest comments like towards me or towards like skit people like, Oh my gosh, like those are where I get like the nastiest comments, I would say.

Serena: It’s the same for us. He like he rarely he’s in most of the videos right and he doesn’t get a lot of negative like personal attacks on Uh, TikTok or Instagram, but when they come, they come from

Dominic: Facebook.

Serena: Yeah. Yeah.

Dominic: This is what I get. It’s because, I don’t know if you’ve seen any ones where I talk about the bride going down the aisle and I start to describe the moment and I’ll talk, and I try to talk when the artist isn’t singing, but sometimes I have to get a point across. I’m like, wait, you’re going to open the doors right here.

And stop talking. I can’t hear the song. I’m like, like

Serena: you

Dominic: couldn’t listen

Serena: to the song

Dominic: somewhere else. It’s only 30 seconds of the song anywhere where you’re like, Oh, this is my jam. Turn it up. Go any other format. But the reason I’m doing this is to describe the moment that they can’t, again, they can’t detach.

They’re like, stop talking. I can’t hear the song. I’m like, okay.

Serena: So I’ll just sit there. They

Dominic: expect me just to sit here and say, play. Yeah. That’s going to do well. That video will do really well.

Christa Innis: I’ve had like, some people just comment, like, What a waste of time watching this. Or they’ll be like, dumb skit.

And I’m like,

Serena: thanks.

Christa Innis: And I’ll just be

Serena: Like, thanks, Pamela. Yeah. And also you watch the whole thing. Right. So like, That’s on you. Sorry, you wasted your time. Yeah, you could have just scrolled and kept going. I mean, I know it really is. We love social media for what it’s done for our business and the connections we have made, but there’s a lot of yucky, you know, that you really have to like, put on a thick skin sometimes.

Christa Innis: Those keyboard warriors.

Serena: Yeah, unfortunately, it brings out really just some bold people. I don’t know why. They don’t understand that they’re like people. That’s what I said about the Facebook post. I was like, I hope our bride doesn’t see this. That was like my concern because I know them well enough that she would roll her eyes I’m sure but like it’s just There’s people on the other side of what you’re saying, right?

Like sometimes they’re so nasty and it’s just like,

Dominic: But she’s the bride. She’s not on Facebook. It’s okay.

Christa Innis: Exactly. Oh my gosh. That is crazy. Okay. So before we end, cause I know we’re getting kind of over on time here. I don’t want you to take up too much of your guys’ time. So I want to end with our weekly confessions game. So these are confessions that people send me on Instagram that Sometimes they have to do with weddings, sometimes they don’t.

So we’re going to see what we get. Um, we like to call it the drama Yeah, drama meter. Where we’re going to say like, rate them from 1 to 10. Or just respond to like, how crazy it is or if it reminds you of something. Okay, this first one says, I stole back my bouquet when the uninvited guest at my wedding caught it.

Serena: Well, the thing, the thing I would say is usually we have a separate bouquet so the bride can keep that bouquet, right? Cause like, usually the bride, like,

Dominic: A tossed bouquet.

Serena: So, I don’t have a problem with her wanting to keep her own bouquet, I guess it is like.

Dominic: Yeah, probably shouldn’t have thrown it in the first place.

Christa Innis: Well, I’m wondering if she just worded it as my bouquet, but I’m wondering if it actually was the toss.

Serena: Okay, so in that case, that’s, I mean,

Dominic: If you had one of your bridesmaids or your sisters and gays and you’re like, Oh, I want them to catch it. And then you’re like, And then this chick over here wasn’t even invited.

I mean, I can see how you’d be mad,

Christa Innis: but yeah,

Dominic: I give it a four, maybe

Christa Innis: a five. It’s like a whole layer of like, what happened? Why did you not like? Did they try to get invited and you knew they were coming or yeah, it’d be kind of crazy. Um, Okay, we’ll do one last one before we end because I know i’m again taking taking too much Um, let’s see.

Okay. This person says this might be like a hot take actually If I buy you a shower gift, I am not going to buy you a wedding gift I mean,

Serena: I don’t even know why That’s like, like making that a thing, like then don’t, like, I don’t know, like people do or don’t bring gifts to weddings all the time, right?

Dominic: Like I invited the shower. I’m not inviting you to the wedding.

Christa Innis: I know. I think I would personally be like, then I’m just not going to go to the shower.

Like if I don’t want to. Gifts. Like, cause I don’t feel right about going to a shower and not bringing something or going to a wedding and not giving a gift. I feel like it’s two different events, but I get it. It’s a lot of money. It’s expensive. I don’t

Serena: now. Just like in my mind, if I had a certain budget that I could spend on their gifts, I would just get something that like one for each split, you know what I mean?

And like, or, or just put a card in the card box for them at the wedding. Just the sentiment is the

Dominic: The person knew how much. Weddings cost. They would be like, okay, well, I’ll give you a glass of wine at the shower, but you can’t drink anything at the wedding. You know how much money, or in your meal, I mean, everybody has a dollar sign on their head that it tends and it is steep, right?

I’d pay for that chair you’re sitting in, by the way.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What I don’t get is like when people act like they, if they’re invited to something, they have to go and they have to spend this money. Like I saw someone say, Oh, destination weddings are so selfish. And it’s like, If you’re invited, you don’t have to go.

Serena: Yeah, absolutely. It’s not about you. Right. Like this is what the couple has chosen to do and you are invited, which means you can decline.

Dominic: Yeah, absolutely. Give your opinions.

Serena: Make it feel bad for having a desk. I’ll

Dominic: give you my response with a heavy dose of guilt.

Christa Innis: Yeah, exactly. Well, thank you guys so much for coming on.

It was so fun meeting you guys and chatting with you. You guys have a lot of great stories and hot takes. Um, if you guys can just again, share where people can find you on social media, all your great content and, um, anything up and coming for you guys.

Serena: Yeah for sure. so on TikTok, we are a wedding duo on Instagram.

We are at the dot wedding duo you can find us, our Website is the wedding duo. co not. com gets really confusing with that. We do have our new membership for engaged couples that is available through our website, which is where we share exclusive videos and lessons on all things weddings. We go live inside the membership.

Dominic: It’s really, if you’re a DIY bride, download the app and join our membership. It’ll be really good. We have a podcast too.

Serena: We do. Awesome. It’s not as fun as yours. I mean, it’s informative, but yours is just, it’s fun.

Dominic: We have

Serena: fun. It’s so much fun chatting with you. So, yes.

Christa Innis: This is awesome. Well, yeah, like I said, I love your guys content and I was always seeing it on Instagram and I was like, they would be perfect to come on and chat with because you guys are in the industry, you know, what’s up, you’ve got those stories, so thank you so much again for coming on.

It was so great. And, uh, I can’t wait to share. Woohoo.

Dominic: Fabulous. It was good. Let

Christa Innis: I just stopped this. If I can remember.


Wedding Demands, Ultimatums, and a Disney Honeymoon with Liz Fleming

Think weddings are all love and laughter? 

In this episode, Christa spills the tea with Liz Fleming, life coach and founder of The Small Town Social, on setting boundaries and surviving wedding drama. From hosting epic events to managing moments that make you go “Did that really just happen?” Liz brings her A-game with hilarious stories and savvy advice.

The pair dives into juicy listener confessions, from overbearing in-laws to cringe-worthy pre-gaming fails at dry weddings. Liz breaks it all down with tips for staying cool, calm, and collected while keeping the good vibes rolling.

Whether you’re tying the knot, hosting a bash, or just here for the gossip, this episode will have you laughing, learning, and maybe even rethinking that bouquet toss.

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction 

01:26 Career Pivot and Life Coaching

03:13 Setting Boundaries and Event Hosting

04:43 Wedding Stories and Hot Takes

22:07 Wedding Day Drinking Dilemmas

24:08 Biggest Wedding Regret

27:10 Story Submission: Wedding Planning Woes

39:01 Weekly Confessions Game

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • Liz shares her journey from PR to life coaching and her passion for personal development.
  • Discussion on the importance of setting boundaries in weddings and events.
  • Juicy listener stories about overbearing in-laws and dry wedding dilemmas.
  • Wedding speech disasters and how to handle unplanned drama.
  • Liz’s advice on creating meaningful, joyful events while maintaining personal boundaries.
  • Insights into the cultural expectations of big weddings versus intimate gatherings.
  • Hot takes on viral wedding trends and why authenticity matters.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  • “Boundaries are so crucial—they not only set the tone for your gatherings but also let everyone, including you, have fun.” – Liz Fleming
  • “The most satisfied people are the ones who follow their gut, set boundaries, and stay true to their vision.” – Liz Fleming
  • “It’s okay to involve your audience in events, but always have a plan—otherwise, it can totally spiral.” – Liz Fleming
  • “If your wedding day puts such a financial strain on you that you’re going to enter your marriage with such a level of stress, it’s not worth it.” – Liz Fleming
  • “I think it’s really important to respect people’s choices for their wedding, whether it’s big, small, or something in between—it’s their story.” – Liz Fleming
  • “Boundaries are the name of the game—respectful no’s are a form of self-care.” – Christa Innis
  • “It’s your wedding, not an entertainment reality show. Stay authentic to your relationship.” – Christa Innis
  • “Weddings are so personal, and I feel like when couples stick to what makes sense for them, that’s when the magic happens.” – Christa Innis

Mentioned in the Episode

About Liz

Liz Fleming is a multi-passionate entrepreneur, life coach, and founder of The Small Town Social, a personal development community focused on empowering women. With 20 years as an award-winning PR professional, Liz pivoted her career to help ambitious women step into their power and live joyfully. 

Through coaching, hosting events, and her annual gathering, GlowCon, Liz helps women gain clarity and confidence in all areas of life. As a military spouse and mom, she brings a relatable, results-driven approach to guiding others toward transformation.

Follow Liz Fleming:

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

Love the show? Check out our merch!

Take the drama with you—literally.

From cozy hoodies to quirky mugs, there’s something for everyone in our collection. Your purchase helps keep the laughs coming, and it’s the perfect way to show your support.

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Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi, Liz. Thank you so much for coming on. 

Liz Fleming: Hey, Christa. It’s so nice to see you. 

Christa Innis: Yeah, I know. I feel like we were just talking before recording, but I feel like time has gone so fast, and also feels like the blink of an eye. It’s like, time is so weird now.

Liz Fleming: Yeah. Time’s weird, but we just move on. We move through.

Christa Innis: We do. It just flies by. I’m so excited to have you on. Like I said, I thought of you right away because you are the host of your own podcast. You host events. You are so multifaceted. And so I thought you would be the perfect person to have on here and share your own hot takes. 

And we’re going to play some games as we kind of go through. But first and foremost, can you kind of just share a little bit about yourself and what you do?

Liz Fleming’s Journey

Liz Fleming: Sure. Yeah, of course. I’m so excited to be here. This is going to be so much fun. It’s been a while since I’ve done a podcast interview, so I’m getting my juices flowing again, and the reason for that is that I have been in the thick of a total career pivot.

So as you know, Christa, because we used to do a lot of fun projects together, I was a publicist for 13 years. And I was presented with an opportunity to kind of slow down in my career, and I saw that as an opportunity to totally pivot and become a life and success coach.

So right now it’s just been amazing. You know, when you get that full-body feeling that you’re doing what you’re supposed to do. So I help women realize their purpose on purpose and realize their worth. And we can cover things from career, life, relationships, love, finances, whatever.

But the core of what I teach is really just helping women come back to wholeness so they can live more joyfully. And I have a set formula and a way that I do that. But, yeah, I’ve been in the thick of getting my certifications. So, I’m coming out on the other side of that and I’m just hitting the ground running. It’s just been amazing.

Christa Innis: I love that. I love that because I feel like what you said about when you find that purpose, that thing that really excites you, that is just like, cause it doesn’t feel like work. It just feels like, Oh, I get another day of doing this exciting thing and helping people and having a full impact, which is amazing.

Liz Fleming: Yeah, yeah, totally. And I forgot to mention too, like The Small Town Social, which you’re very familiar with, which is my women’s personal development group that kind of inspired the whole pivot to coaching because I host an annual gathering for women to focus on their self-healing. It just felt like coaching was my natural next step. So I have a lot of experience in event facilitation, which is going to make our conversation here really fun today. Yes. Yeah. It’s been awesome though.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Well, and as you’re talking too about what you do and your, like, how you kind of pivoted, that is perfect too because, and all these kinds of skits and stories that I share on my channel, it’s all about setting boundaries.

So many times these women have to deal with very difficult relationships or hard situations when growing up, they were taught to just be a people pleaser, just say yes, or just do what they tell you. And as we get older and we say no to things, we’re either told we’re difficult or we’re the B word.

So part of sharing these skits is like, you can do things respectfully. You can say no respectfully. So I feel like this is, you’re the perfect match to be talking on this podcast because you can share your take when it comes to setting boundaries and following your path of like, okay, that doesn’t serve me anymore. So let’s go this way.

The Power of Boundaries and Crazy Event Stories

Liz Fleming: Yeah, of course. And that’s so spot on. And it’s so funny you mentioned that because I just did a whole podcast episode about setting healthy boundaries, specifically around the holiday season, but they really apply to life in general.

And especially when you’re hosting an event, whether you’re a bride, you’re hosting a birthday party, or someone like me who hosts large-scale events. Boundaries are so crucial, and they really help not only set the tone for your gatherings but also set you apart and allow everyone, including yourself, to have fun. So important.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I love that. So with that being said, let’s jump into my first segment here, which is any crazy stories, and then we’re going to get into wedding hot takes.

So right off the bat, I know we were kind of talking, and you said just like leading events, you kind of have different, you’ve seen different things, or you’ve seen it all just being at different things.

Do you have any crazy stories that come to mind or anything you’ve heard that you were kind of like, kind of shocking or like, oh my goodness?

Event Hosting, Wedding Speeches, and Hot Takes

Liz Fleming: What’s sticking out for me as an event host is I love to involve my audience in my gatherings as much as possible. I don’t like to stand on a stage all day and talk to the audience. I’ve done that before, and, you know, it works for everyone. They learn a lot, but it was just like—so over the last 6 and a half years of doing these events with The Small Town Social, I have really involved my audience, but you have to be cautious with that.

So things like passing around the microphone and doing group shares—you guys can totally apply this to wedding speeches and stuff—be so cautious about doing things like that. Have a plan. Don’t just go free for all and start doing the group share or letting someone have the mic and do a speech because it can really get away from you.

There’s not really one instance; I mean, it’s happened loads of times for me, which is terrifying. Someone is either too scared to talk, the microphone’s pressed into their face, and there’s not much you can do about it, or they’re nervous to start talking, and then they talk and don’t stop talking.

That’s a really big one where you’re just kind of like, “You need a game plan for that.” I have kind of a seasoned approach now, but for anyone interested in hosting events, or you have an event on the horizon, that’s like my number one thing: totally involve your audience so they have fun, but proceed with caution.

Christa Innis: Yes. Oh my God. I’m so glad you said that because that was something I shared. I don’t remember where I shared it now—it might’ve been in a story somewhere—but I was at a wedding once. I was a bridesmaid, and at the last minute, I want to say it was like a few weeks before the wedding, she brought on another bridesmaid. They had a falling out and then became friends again.

And the girl right off the bat was like, “Alright, I’m giving a speech,” like didn’t wait to be asked, just told her, “I’m going to give a speech,” and this bride was so nice, and she was just like, “Okay,” just accepted it. And after this bridesmaid made her speech, she goes, “Anyone else have anything to say?” which I was just like, you know—no.

Lines started forming of siblings of the bride and groom, cousins—we were sitting there for probably 30-45 minutes just listening to these unplanned speeches. And they were, like, not—you know, like, there are certain things you say and don’t say in a speech, and they were just saying everything. They were talking about sibling fights growing up, how they had a terrible falling out growing up, and why they did, and it was just like, “Is this really happening?”

Liz Fleming: Oh my gosh. That’s so bad.

Christa Innis: That was so bad.

Liz Fleming: That’s like my nightmare. Actually, that is giving me flashbacks to my wedding because, yeah, more people made speeches than we knew. It was just kind of like, “Okay, all right.” It’s a boundary between respecting people, but also like, “I paid for this. This is my day,” kind of thing.

As long as you have a plan—like with how I run my events, I have outs. I have certain phrases that I say, and I’m very well-versed in how I present my body language. There are ways you can do that to change a conversation and change a vibe. You send the signal, right? The bat signal.

I have an amazing team helping me with these events, who are also well-versed in that. It makes it a lot easier to just kind of be like, “Okay, we’re going to take a pause here.”

The other reason why that’s scary is probably the most obvious—we live in a very sensitive time right now where everyone has different opinions, views, and thoughts on everything, and you just never know what someone’s going to say. I’m not trying to scare everyone away from the group because it is so powerful. Keep doing them. Just have an anchor—keep people focused.

Even, I mean seriously, for any event, you can do this. For weddings, keep it positive, keep it light. Focus on one thing, one memory. Don’t go down the rabbit hole of everything. And the same goes for more of a life-business-related event like what I do.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And I want to get to hot topics in just a second. But what you just said reminded me of this thing I saw—when you said there’s so much going on, like, we’re very opinionated, right?

I saw this TikTok where someone was sharing—and again, I don’t know what things I should say or not say yet—but in the bride’s father-of-the-bride speech, he talked about the election. He was so happy and came out wearing a hat, and I was just like, no, no, no.

And I guess she knew she had feelings that he was going to do this and was like, “Do not do it.” So she had already told him, “Do not do it.” And he still did it and made this about the election and not about her wedding, which I was like, “Come on!”

Liz Fleming: So that hurts. That hurts. It hurts a lot.

Christa Innis: Oh yeah. So that being said, let’s jump into some wedding hot takes. So I’m going to ask you a couple of questions here that are labeled as some kind of hot takes and tell me what you think.

Okay, let’s see. What is one wedding trend that you think needs to be retired for good and why?

Wedding Trends, Big Day Decisions, and Boundary Battles

Liz Fleming: Oh my gosh. I think—oh, am I going to get canceled for saying this?—I think it’s like the elaborate aisle stuff. Like, can we just get down the aisle? Does it have to be an elaborate dance thing or, you know?

Christa Innis: Choreography, like a choreography dance or something?

Liz Fleming: Yeah, and maybe those are already over. I haven’t seen them in a while, but I just remember there was a time when they were the thing. And, I don’t know, how long have I been married? Seven years? Six years? Five years? I remember when I was planning my wedding, I was like, that’s not happening.

I feel like it’s more about the extreme displays of entertainment going viral. Because everyone’s recording people at the wedding, and I just miss when it was intimate and personal. Now it’s like a reality show sometimes, and I think that’s what needs to go. That’s what I’m trying to get at.

Christa Innis: Yeah. No, I totally see what you mean because I think we’re losing sight of what makes sense for our relationship and our wishes instead of going viral. You totally hit the nail on the head with that because I was just talking to someone about how we’re so caught up in what everyone else wants for our wedding day that we lose sight of it, like, “Wait, that doesn’t make sense for me.”

Like, I would never do that. Or when parents come in, they want to invite 500 people. It’s like, “Well, I’m very introverted, so that’s really uncomfortable for me.” The same way it’s like, “Oh, let’s do this viral dance so that maybe we have a chance of blowing up on TikTok.” Why? Why do you ask yourself, why do you want that?

Liz Fleming: Yes, exactly. It’s like the gender reveals—they’ve gone too far.

Christa Innis: Starting forest fires in California. Like, let’s not do that, people.

Liz Fleming: Yeah.

Christa Innis: We can just do it the old-fashioned way—bite into a cupcake or something. If you really need to, just have the baby and move on.

Liz Fleming: Just have the baby.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Okay, that was a good one. Do you think big weddings are worth the expense, or would you recommend keeping them small and intimate?

Liz Fleming: That’s totally subjective. I don’t want to crush anyone’s dreams. If someone wants a huge wedding, I think that’s awesome.

I personally feel that if your wedding day is going to put such a financial strain on you that you’re entering your marriage with a level of stress that takes away the joy, then it’s not worth it. I’m an advocate for small and intimate weddings that are messy, joyful, and true to the couple.

I think it’s really up to you, obviously, and your budget. Weddings have gotten so expensive. I know people who’ve done destination weddings for that reason. They’re like, “Well, if we’re going to spend big money, we’re just going to go overseas and do it.” That often makes it smaller and more intimate because fewer family members can go.

So, there’s this hybrid segment of weddings now, which I love. I’m like, that sounds fun. Maybe for our 10-year anniversary, we’ll do something awesome like that. But yeah, I’m all for being small and intimate at the end of the day.

Christa Innis: I think you make a really good point. It kind of ties back to people trying to impress others and not staying true to themselves.

If it’s in your budget or always your dream to have a big wedding, do it. Go all out. But if you’re going to be in $50,000 of debt, maybe rethink it. At the end of the day, the wedding is about celebrating your love, not pleasing everyone else.

Liz Fleming: You also have to consider cultural perspectives, right? In some cultures, big weddings are the norm, and there’s no other way. Like, that’s what you do. Conversely, some people don’t have big families, so they compensate by inviting all their close friends.

For them, a big wedding is worth it to bring all the people they care about together. So many variables go into the why behind someone’s wedding size. I’d love to see more people being respectful about it. You never know someone’s story or their why.

Christa Innis: A hundred percent. I always find that people who tune out the noise when planning and do what’s true to them are the most satisfied with their wedding.

So many people listen to everyone but themselves, then say, “I wish I could have a redo. I hated that it was so big, or so small.” Listen to your heart and plan for you.

Liz Fleming: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Boundaries. Yes. Boundaries are the name of the game. Okay, next topic.

Christa Innis: The next segment is called “Pick a Side: Wedding Drama Debates.” So, I started asking social media to send me their unpopular opinions. I’m going to read a few, and we can debate them.

The first one says, “I don’t like the idea of a first look. My husband had to wait to see me until I came down the aisle.”

Liz Fleming: Well, I am all about shock and awe, so I don’t love the first-look thing. It’s really like, I don’t know, it feels like it kind of defeats the purpose. I get it, it’s nice to have that one-on-one moment. But to have that moment together, like, in front of everyone you care about, it sends out an energy that cannot be replicated. It’s like next-level good vibes, and I feel like the world needs more of that, so I’m in the camp of no first look.

Christa Innis: Yeah, if I had to pick one, I would say no first look, too. We didn’t do a first look because I was like, I always pictured that first walk down the aisle. It just seemed more climactic for me. But I get it—like people that have done it for timing purposes or scheduling, or maybe they were really shy and just wanted to get it out of the way.

Christa Innis: Okay, this next one says, “I hate the bouquet toss after 25. Nobody wants to be fighting for a bouquet.”

Liz Fleming: Oh, I don’t know. Twenty-five? Twenty-five? Holy crap. So young. I love the bouquet toss. I think it’s a great way to gamify your day. At that point, you’re more than halfway through the day. Your people have eaten, your guests have eaten, and the dancing is starting to happen. It’s just fun and fast, quirky, and doesn’t take up a lot of time. Do it.

Christa Innis: Did you have anyone push people out of the way, elbowing others, or maybe you didn’t see it as the bride?

Liz Fleming: Not aggressively. It was just a kind of jockey. Everyone was a little tipsy. I’ve been pushed out of the way at weddings I attended—it’s been like a mosh pit sometimes—but at my wedding, it was tasteful.

Christa Innis: Some people get really into it. I was scratched once, and it was so intense. Like, guys, it doesn’t mean you’re actually gonna get married next!

Liz Fleming: Yeah, you know your people best. You know your audience. I think that’s something you can pull out of the bag as you see fit. If your guests are likely to get drunk and belligerent, maybe it’s not something you want to do. There are ways to modify those age-old traditions.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And if you’re not athletic like me, maybe don’t do it either. I always worried I’d throw it wrong and knock someone out!

Liz Fleming: Also, if you skip it, you save money on that extra bouquet—like a hundred bucks saved right there.

Christa Innis: Okay, this last one says, “Pregaming a dry wedding is disrespectful to the bride and groom.”

Liz Fleming: Yes. I think that’s super rude. If the bride and groom made that decision consciously, it must be for an important reason. Respect it, then go drink afterward. It’s their day, not yours. Grow up and show up for your people.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I’ve never been to a dry wedding, but if I knew it was dry, I wouldn’t pregame—it’s just weird to me.

Liz Fleming: Yeah, let’s do shots in the parking lot. No thanks. Also, I think it’s weird when people get blackout drunk at weddings. The pictures are ruined, it’s a safety issue, and someone always ends up taking care of them. Alcohol is not the cornerstone of why we’re here.

Christa Innis: So true. I hear stories all the time about someone being so drunk they can’t even walk down the aisle or finish a speech. Let’s just hold off a little if you know you can’t handle it.

Liz Fleming: That was a hard line for my husband and me on our wedding day—no pregaming. I think I had one glass of champagne, and he maybe had a beer, just something to shake the nerves. It’s okay to have a little touch of that, but it’s not about taking away from the day or everything you’ve planned.

Christa Innis: Honestly, I thought I’d have more champagne the morning of, but I didn’t even finish my glass. I was running around so much with hair, makeup, and checking on things. The guys, meanwhile, just had to put on a suit and shower!

Liz Fleming: Same here. I wasn’t even drunk at my wedding—there was just no time. But can I share my biggest regret from my wedding?

Christa Innis: Yes, please do!

Liz Fleming: My biggest regret was putting the bride and groom’s table near the buffet entrance. Why did we do that?

Christa Innis: Wait, so your food table was where you sat?

Liz Fleming: Yeah, it was, but it was spaced out enough that I thought it would be fine. So, we were in a ginormous barn, and it was very elegant, and we had this beautiful, long buffet-style line of food. Our table was on the edge of the dance floor, and there was probably a 10-foot gap between where people went to get the food and our table. I think in my head, I was like, in this way, we’ll:
a) Be able to eat.
b) Get to see more people without having to go around the room so much.

It was a giant event, and because we tried to do that, we only made it to four tables. People just kept talking and talking, and you only have so much time. But then when we sat down to try and eat, it was just like one person after another coming up to us, saying, “Congratulations, we love you guys.” And it’s like, I think I took one bite of food.

I mean, that’s a big expense, and we were so hungry and thirsty. Our cheeks hurt, our hands hurt. That was my biggest regret—not being more mindful of our placement and where we sat.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Liz Fleming: …Our placement and where we sat.

Christa Innis: That’s such a smart thing to say because I’ve never actually heard someone say that before, but it’s true. You get very drawn into conversations.

I know my husband actually had to stop me because I wanted to go up to everyone. I’m that person who feels guilty and thinks, “Oh my gosh, I didn’t say bye to so-and-so, even though I said hi to them earlier.” And he was like, “It’s okay. There are 150 people here. If you don’t say hi to one person, it’s going to be okay.”

I was like, “Okay.” But yeah, we did this thing called Mission Impossible, which was really cool. It was our photographer’s idea. They played Mission Impossible music, and the DJ announced that we were going to go to each table and take a picture with everyone.

It allowed people to feel like they saw you, and we just quickly moved. One side of the table gets behind the other side, so we could easily just get in there. It made everyone feel like they hung out with the bride and groom for a little bit.

Liz Fleming: Oh, I wish we did that. I feel like there were more than half of the people I didn’t even get to talk to. We had about 152 guests, and I truly thought we’d get around to everyone.

I mean, we tried, and I would have loved to have talked to everyone. Some people I hadn’t seen in years or ever met before, but you can only do so much.

Christa Innis: It’s—

Liz Fleming: …So hard.

Christa Innis: It’s so hard, but as long as you’re having a great time on your day and your guests are also benefiting from that, you’ve won. You’ve won the lottery in terms of the wedding day.

Helicopter Parents and Wedding Hijacks

Christa Innis: Yeah, absolutely. All right. Let’s jump into this week’s story submission.

As a reminder to everyone listening, I get regular stories sent to me all the time. I probably have like 300 that I haven’t even touched the surface on. So, this is a random story that I’ve not read yet. We’re just going to react together. And if you’re listening, thinking, I have a story to submit, you can submit it through the link in the show notes. We’re always taking new submissions.

All right.

When my husband and I got engaged, we were so excited. We were dating for a long time, so we didn’t want to wait too long to get married. We got engaged on May 1st and were talking about getting married around the end or middle of June.

Oh wow, that’s fascinating.

So then my husband could go to some family events with me as a couple at the beginning of July. We sat down with my then fiancé’s parents, and they were asking if we had picked a date for the wedding yet.

I told them we were thinking about June 22nd. They said, “That’s only a month and a half away. We want to have a lot of time to get everything done.”

I told them I knew where I was going to get my dress, and I knew from other family members that getting a dress would be no problem as long as I was going to rent it. I was also going to have fake flowers and make bouquets and boutonnieres myself, so we didn’t need to ask a florist in advance.

Liz Fleming: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Okay.

We were also not going to have our reception at an event center. We were planning on using a church for the reception, so we didn’t need to look for venues.

My father-in-law said, “That isn’t enough time to plan the other things that need to be done. And if we do it on July 22nd, then your fiancé’s older sister and her family, who live in Ohio, might not be able to attend since her husband is in the military. It would be hard for her to leave and come to the wedding.”

My fiancé and I had already talked about possible people who wouldn’t be able to attend the wedding. We came to the conclusion that it was our wedding, and if people couldn’t make it, then they couldn’t come.

My fiancé said, “Dad, we will just give people the date now so they can make arrangements.”

My father-in-law said, “That’s not how it works. You need to have everyone from the immediate family there for the wedding. So why don’t we do July 19th? Then your sister and her husband and family can come to the wedding since they will already be here.”

Why? Because they’re going to Disneyland that week.

Christa Innis: There’s a lot going on here.

Liz Fleming: Oh my God.

Christa Innis: There’s a lot of buildup here.

Liz Fleming: Poor bride.

Christa Innis: I know. Just getting ripped right from her. She knows what she wants. Leave her alone.

Liz Fleming: Yes.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh.

Christa Innis: Okay, here we go.

“That way you guys can have half of your honeymoon at Disneyland with all of us, which we would pay for. Wouldn’t that be fun?”

My then fiancé said, “Dad, we don’t really want to wait that long to get married since we’ve been dating so long. And we don’t really want to spend half of our honeymoon with you guys since it’s supposed to be just us.”

My future father-in-law said, “Oh, well, you’ll be in your own hotel room. You won’t be in the Airbnb with us in California, which I will pay for. You will also have a couple of days to yourself before the Disneyland trip. So you could go to St. George for a couple of days since it’s on the way to California.”

Liz Fleming: Oh my gosh. We should pause there.

Christa Innis: Wow. Helicopter much?

Liz Fleming: Geez.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like, sure, yeah, that’s a quick engagement, but it sounds like they’ve already talked it through and figured it out. There’s no need to come in and say, “Well, let’s do it this day, and then you can have your honeymoon with us.”

Liz Fleming: Yes, that’s tricky. I’m seeing it from both angles here. The bride and groom know exactly what they want—signed, sealed, delivered. Awesome.

Most parents would be supportive of that. However, I get where the parents are coming from because it’s such a milestone, right? They’ve probably had this grand vision as parents over the last 20 or 30 years of how their child’s wedding would go and how they would contribute. They probably felt totally left out.

Christa Innis: Well—

Liz Fleming: In most weddings, the parents are pretty involved. They love to pay for certain things. It sounds like there was just a massive disconnect in family chemistry when it came to the wedding.

But for the honeymoon thing? That’s creepy. That’s weird.

Christa Innis: Well, and I feel like the weird part of it too is—because I totally get you—it’s like, yeah, they visualize this day and want to help their kid. But it almost sounds like they are catering to the sister and her husband a little bit more.

It’s like, “Well, they have a trip planned to Disneyland, so we should get married right before that.” It sounds like they want the couple to combine their vacation with the sister’s family’s plans to make it more convenient for them.

Liz Fleming: Yeah.

Christa Innis: It’s kind of weird.

Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s like they’re trying to make sure the sister, like the whole family, can be together. But as a military spouse, it doesn’t matter if you give a month lead time or ten months. The military is the military, and they might not be able to attend anyway. Like, they could just get called up for something.

Liz Fleming: Yeah.

Christa Innis: So that’s a little weird to me. But yeah, overall, it felt pretty disrespectful to react that way as someone related so closely to the bride and groom. It’s okay to have your opinions privately and maybe have that discussion. But to just insert yourself so directly into that moment? It just felt like she was being shut down at every turn. The poor thing.

Liz Fleming: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Oh my goodness. And I hope there’s more like—

Liz Fleming: Oh, there’s more?

Christa Innis: There’s more.

Liz Fleming: Oh heavens.

Christa Innis: My fiancé said, “What if we do it on the 27th of June? That’s a weekend, and my sister still might be able to come since it’s a weekend. Then we have two months for whatever other planning we need to do.”

Future father-in-law said, “No, your sister will not be able to come down that weekend either. Ohio is a long way, and it costs a lot of money for her to come down to Utah. July 19th will be best for all of us.”

So again, saying no.

My fiancé then looked at me and said, “We will need to talk about this more than just for a second.” We left the room and talked about what we would want to do.

I said, “I’m really frustrated. I understand if she can’t come, but they are making assumptions that she won’t be able to make it to our wedding. They’re kind of speaking for the sister at this point, not even allowing her to answer for herself. If she really wants to come, I think she can make it happen. If she doesn’t want to come, then she won’t. This is supposed to be our wedding day, not your parents’. I want to get married in June.”

Liz Fleming: Yeah, there’s so much that’s not said in this story. We don’t know the backstory of the bride and groom and why they selected that date. Maybe there was a timeline—financial, career, or health reasons—you just don’t know.

Christa Innis: Yeah, exactly.

Liz Fleming: If anyone in my family ever said something like that to us, I’d be like, “No. What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you high?” I value your opinion, but this is what we decided. Get over it.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Exactly. It almost sounds like a weird control thing because they’re so set in July. And I’m like, what’s the big difference between June and July? To me, nothing.

Liz Fleming: Yeah, nothing. It’s less than a month. And when he said the thing about “I’m paying for it,” that was definitely a power play.

Christa Innis: I hate that.

Liz Fleming: Totally. It’s like, “I’m paying for it, so you’ll do what I want.”

Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s so frustrating.

Liz Fleming: That’s tricky.

Christa Innis: So, after talking, the bride said, “I don’t want to cause drama in your family. And I feel like if we push for the 27th, it will just make things complicated with your parents. I guess we will have to do the 19th and just not make your parents go into a frenzy.”

My fiancé said, “Are you sure that’s what you want to do?”

I said, “It’s not what I want to do, but I guess it’s what we have to do to keep the peace.”

Liz Fleming: Ugh.

Christa Innis: They went back into the room and said, “I suppose we’ll do July 19th.”

The bride added, “I have other stories from my wedding, but this is already so long. Message me if you have any questions.”

Liz Fleming: Oh my gosh. That makes me so sad.

Christa Innis: I know.

Liz Fleming: She was a baller about this. She was very clear about what she wanted, set her boundaries, and had the courage to say, “That’s not what I want.” And yet, she’s just put in this tricky position. Imagine if you were in her shoes, up against that mounting pressure from in-laws. Starting off your marriage with that kind of dark energy? Yikes.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I get why she felt the pressure to change her mind, but it sucks that she had to.

Liz Fleming: Yeah.

Christa Innis: All right. I think I did okay with reading that. I have to be honest—one time, I read a confession on Facebook, and someone commented, “Before you post anything, you should make sure you know how to read.”

Liz Fleming: People are so nice.

Christa Innis: Right?

Liz Fleming: That was a really long read. Way to crush it.

Christa Innis: And I should have probably broken it up a little bit.

Liz Fleming: No, I think it was great. I like that you read it in chunks so that we could talk about it along the way.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I’m learning as I go here. Okay, I know we’re overtime, so I’ll make this next section a little shorter. It’s called the weekly confessions game. I’ll just do one confession, and we’ll rate it.

Okay, so these people are sending me their confessions on Instagram now, and we’ll rate it from 1 to build tea and 10 to absolute chaos. And if you have something to add, feel free.

Okay, this is crazy: “My dad was my landlord and told me to use rent as my wedding gift, then made me pay it back the next month.”

Liz Fleming: People are so weird. What the fuck? I guess. I don’t, like, what? Why are you paying it back? That’s not a gift. That’s a loan.

Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s literally a loan.

Liz Fleming: An interest-free loan.

Christa Innis: Positioned as a gift. People are so strange.

Liz Fleming: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Okay, I’m just going to read this other one real quick, and we’ll close out.

“Yes. In-laws insisted on staying at the hotel and then arrived one minute before the entrance of the bridal party.”

Liz Fleming: That’s making a statement.

Christa Innis: Yeah, that was done on purpose.

Liz Fleming: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. This is crazy. Thank you so much for coming on, Liz. I know. I’m like, what other stories can we read? This was so much fun. I really enjoyed having you come on and catching up. Can you tell us again where everyone can follow you, what other projects you’re working on, and all that good stuff?

Liz Fleming: Yeah, of course. Everyone can find me on Instagram—that’s my favorite. So, you can find me at @thesmalltownsocial on Instagram or at @MsLizFleming. I have two accounts.

And then, yeah, all the links are there. I share a ton of content. You can work with me one-on-one in coaching.

I think the biggest thing I have coming up, even if you’re not local to North Carolina, is a women’s personal development gathering called GlowCon on March 20th, 2025. The majority of women are here in North Carolina, but I have some women flying in from as far as Ohio, California, Washington, Virginia, and Vermont.

So it’s really grown. This is the second time I’m doing it, but it’s such a beautiful day of community, connection, getting to know yourself better, and just having some fun on the first day of spring.

So, a lot of stuff going on for little ol’ me, but I would love to connect with you all, and this has been wonderful, Christa. Thank you.

Christa Innis: Of course! Yay, I’m so excited. This is awesome.


The Wedding Dress Scandal That Broke the Internet with Raylee Rukavina

What would you do if your wedding dress arrived looking nothing like what you ordered—just days before the big day?

In this episode, Raylee Rukavina shares the jaw-dropping story of how her custom wedding dress turned into a disaster and sparked unexpected TikTok drama. From communication breakdowns with the designer to a last-minute dress search, Raylee takes us through the rollercoaster of emotions she experienced leading up to her wedding.

But it didn’t stop there—when her designer took to social media to twist the story, Raylee found herself at the center of a viral controversy. Things took an even more unexpected turn, leaving her to navigate a whirlwind of emotions and tough decisions.

Beyond the drama, we dive into wedding etiquette hot takes, from outdated traditions to handling plus-ones and unexpected family opinions. 

Whether you’re a bride-to-be or just love a good wedding story, this episode is packed with real talk, lessons learned, and a bit of chaos.

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction 

00:59 Wedding Planning and Challenges

01:58 TikTok Drama Unfolds

12:30 Aftermath and Reflections

20:27 The Fake Flowers Dilemma

20:58 Unpopular Opinions: Wedding Drama

23:22 Wedding Submission Story: Dress Shopping Disaster

31:05 Weekly Confessions: Rating the Chaos

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • How Raylee’s gown turned out completely different from what she ordered.
  • The frustrating lack of updates and missed deadlines from the designer.
  • How a false accusation on TikTok led to online hate and doxxing.
  • How Raylee managed to stay focused on her big day despite the controversy.
  • How she found a new gown just in time.
  • Outdated traditions and how to handle family dynamics.
  • The dangers of social media drama and public callouts.
  • Raylee’s advice for brides dealing with vendor issues and last-minute wedding disasters.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  •  ”Once you’re married, you’re there for life. You better start liking me or we figure it out.” – Raylee Rukavina
  • “I really tried not to think about it at all. I didn’t want any part of the social media on my wedding day.” – Raylee Rukavina
  •  ”Even if a parent helps to pay for a wedding, they don’t have as much say because it still isn’t their wedding. – Christa Innis
  • “I just can’t imagine as a wedding vendor that makes wedding dresses for a living, putting something so publicly out there and putting your name out there when that’s not even the full story.” – Christa Innis
  • “I don’t know how some of these people do it when they say like their fiancé’s family or partner’s family are horrible to them. That’s supposed to be like an extension of your family.” – Christa Innis

About Raylee

Raylee Rukavina is a TikTok influencer, entrepreneur, and hairstylist from Colorado with a passion for golf, weightlifting, and all things beauty. Recently married, she found herself in the middle of an unexpected viral controversy when a custom wedding dress disaster took an unexpected turn on social media. 

Raylee shares her firsthand experience navigating vendor issues, handling online hate, and staying focused on what truly mattered—her wedding day.

Follow Raylee Rukavina:

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

Love the show? Check out our merch!

Take the drama with you—literally.

From cozy hoodies to quirky mugs, there’s something for everyone in our collection. Your purchase helps keep the laughs coming, and it’s the perfect way to show your support.

🛍️ Shop Here

Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi, Lex. Thank you so much for joining me today. I’m so excited to have you on the podcast, this brand-new podcast that I decided to venture into. You are a bit of an internet personality. You do some awesome skits. And so, just to get started, can you just tell us a little bit about you, how you kind of got started, and, yeah, what you kind of enjoy doing on social media?

From ER Skits to Viral Wedding Stories

Lex Harper: Yeah, of course. So, like you said, my name is Lex. I started doing TikTok at the beginning of this year. I’d say I probably started in February or March. As you can see too with my wedding pictures, I got married this year. I kind of have a background in social media. One of the degrees I have from school is digital media production.

So, I’ve worked with businesses before about just having their brand and content be online and everything like that. But I never did anything from my personal social media platforms. And I kind of got thrown into it this year. It was really funny because I was actually working in the ER at the beginning of the year.

If people have been following me from the beginning, they know that my videos and skits originally started with ER horror stories and kind of reenacting what came in. But it was more so like if someone had an embarrassing situation, they’d be like, “I don’t want to go get help for that because this is embarrassing. It’s never happened to anybody else before.” And I would kind of show, like, if you come in with this, this is what we would do to treat it and kind of go along the lines of that.

Then people started sending me their horror stories about being in the ER and doctor’s offices and everything like that. And then I had one message that stuck out to me. It was this woman, and she said, “Hey, I have a really bad mother-in-law story. I personally can’t post it because all of the family follows me on everything, and I don’t want to start any more drama. But I need to know if this is, like, my personal situation and I’m overreacting, or if this is something that’s toxic for a mother-in-law.”

I made that video, and it went viral. I got so many other messages about it, and that kind of just took off from there.

Christa Innis: Wow. I hear this all the time too. You start one way on social media with what kind of makes sense for you and your story, and then the algorithm tells you what people want to see. I love that it kind of turned in that direction. So, it started with people sending you their mother-in-law stories—it didn’t start with your own drama or issues with your own wedding, right?

Lex Harper: No, so I’m very thankful. I have an amazing mother-in-law. I’ve had some people I dated in the past whose mothers were questionable, to say the least, and I had some experiences with that. But the mother-in-law I have is absolutely fantastic.

When I started posting these videos, everyone thought they were my original stories at the beginning. So, in addition to all of the messages being like, “Hey, these are my stories,” I was getting so many DMs that were like, “Girl, you need to leave. That’s not healthy. This is not good.”

Everyone was worried for me. I even had to have a talk with her too. I said, “You know none of these are about you, right?” She watches all of them. She follows me on TikTok. She laughs, sends them to me, or puts them in our family group chat.

If we ever have anything going on, she’ll say, ‘I could react like this. You guys should be lucky.’ And we’re like, ‘We are very thankful that you are not like that.’

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh, I love that. I had the same thing happen. I would have people comment on certain platforms—TikTok is pretty understanding about skits, but platforms like Facebook would say, “Why are you airing your dirty laundry out here? You should go talk to her.”

I had to tell them, “Oh no, these are not about my own mother-in-law. I have an amazing mother-in-law.” She said the same thing to me when I kept my TikTok private for a while. Like, no one knew I was doing it to grow at first. When it started growing and I shared it on other platforms, she followed me on Instagram and said, “The first time I saw it, my heart dropped. I thought you were talking about me.”

And I was like, “Oh my gosh, no, never.” It’s funny how people just assume.

So with your wedding this year, you were a 2024 bride. What was the most surprising thing when it came to planning or did you experience any kind of like, I don’t know, new lesson when it came to your wedding

Staying True to Your Wedding Vision

Lex Harper: I think the biggest thing that I learned with wedding planning was that I had to stand firm on what I wanted because I’m very laid back, go with the flow, just kind of like, yeah, whatever, we can do that. Or like, we need it, we don’t need it, I’ll be fine. My husband’s the exact same way. He’s like, “We can do whatever you want. I don’t have a preference.”

He definitely wanted to help; he wanted to know what was going on. So, I would be talking about, like, our flowers or something, and he’d be like, “Oh, can we put these in there?” I’m like, “Yeah, sure.” His favorite color is actually pink. Don’t know why, it has been since he was little.

So, our wedding theme—it was instead of being 50 shades of gray, it was 50 shades of pink. All of our guests wore different shades of pink. He had a gray suit and a pink and purple tie, and he had a lot of fun with it.

A lot of people told me because I was 24 when I got married, “That’s too young. Are you sure you want to do this?” They kind of tried to scare me out of it. But those were people we knew as family friends, not people involved in our relationship. We like to keep our relationship very private.

If people are like, “Oh, are you guys together?” it’s obviously like, “A hundred percent, that’s my person.” But nobody really knows the ins and outs of our relationship because I just kind of made it better that way.

We had people telling me, “You’re too young to get married. You’re only 24.” And I’m sitting there like, “You guys are going to lose your mind when I tell you my husband’s only 20, and we’re getting married.” So, we do have that little bit of an age gap.

I noticed when we were planning, people were like, “This is going to be the most stressful day of your life. You’re not going to remember anything. It’s going to be so much to try to plan.” But we had the complete opposite experience with that.

His granddad has Alzheimer’s, so we wanted to keep the wedding very, very small. We’re both very introverted too, so that was really weird branching out and doing TikTok for me. I’m like, “I have a lot of people watching me right now.”

But we had a very small wedding—less than 50 people. It was family-only. We did not have any wedding parties. I think we had a lot of things that were considered traditional that we didn’t do. People were like, “Are you sure about this?”

Christa Innis: I know. I think it’s so interesting when people put their own pressures and expectations on other people because it’s like, you don’t know their relationship. You don’t know their personality or what they want to showcase in their wedding.

I had the same thing where people were constantly like, “Oh, you’re going to stress out so much. You need to do this, and you need to do that.” I love that you set your boundaries like, “Nope, this is what I’m doing. This is what makes sense for us,” because it’s so important to be on the same page as your partner.

Everyone else will come in, but you don’t have to change things for everybody else.

Lex Harper: We didn’t want our wedding day to be stressful like that. I don’t know if I’ve told anyone in my family this, but my brother was our officiant for the wedding because we, again, wanted to keep it a small family wedding.

We signed our papers and everything, but those weren’t our real papers. So, we actually got married on a different day. We went down to the courthouse in sweatpants, and that’s how we got married.

That was just a lot easier for us, and it made everything go a lot smoother because it was kind of already done. So, we were like, “Breathe and have a good day.” It was fairly simple.

The place where we got married was a family-run business, and they just opened up their wedding venue that year. If it had been in a big city, the venue itself probably would have been like $20,000 to $30,000. But because we wanted a small countryside wedding, I think it was like $6,000. That’s pretty good.

Christa Innis: Yeah. It sounds like you knew what you guys wanted to do, and I think that’s amazing. It’s so easy to get caught up in a million opinions around you.

I find brides are most confident and happy with their wedding day when they stay true to themselves. I see it in the comments all the time, and I’m sure you see it in your comments too. People say, “I wish I would have done that. I hate that this person told me to do this.”

Lex Harper: I think we had a lot of people trying to tell us what to do too because I’m the youngest in my family. I have two older brothers, so I’m the only girl. He’s the youngest in his family. He has two older brothers, so I’m the only girl that’s getting married.

We’re both the babies of our families that are getting married, and we’re the first ones to get married. So, everyone was like, “Oh, we’ll plan everything for you guys.”

We originally said that we didn’t really want to have a wedding because we just wanted to build a house and start life. And they were like, “No, you need to celebrate.”

Christa Innis: You took a little bit, and then you were like, “Okay, so we’re going to do that.” Okay, I want to jump into some of your own stories that you might’ve heard or your wedding hot takes.

So first, I know you kind of said the mother-in-law story that was sent to you. Do you have any, like, a wedding guest or being part of a wedding, a crazy story or something you’ve heard that just made your jaw drop?

Wedding Chaos, Hot Takes, and Child-Free Decisions

Lex Harper: I think my first year that I moved out to Georgia, I went to a wedding because I grew up in Arizona and had never left the state. Then in the middle of COVID, I decided, “I’m going to move all the way across the country and go to school in Georgia.” So I went out there. It was my first year, and I was working at a country club. I met a lot of the members, and I got invited to a wedding as a plus one.

The ceremony was very nice, very pretty. Then it got to the reception, and I was like, “Oh, okay.” It had this rave techno theme going on. I thought it was really cool—I’d never seen anything like it before. They made the announcement: “The open bar is officially open, so you guys can go crazy.”

I don’t drink—I’ve seen people have a lot of bad experiences with alcohol—so I stayed away. Within two hours of the wedding starting, people were already completely wasted. I thought, “Oh, that’s not a good look.”

The best man gets up to give a speech, but he was very intoxicated, slurring his words and saying all the wrong stuff. The groom tried to take the mic and said, “Hey, let’s just sit down, it’s okay.” The best man shoved him back, and the groom fell onto the table with the cake.

The cake ended up on the groom, and the best man started laughing. He licked some frosting off his finger and said, “At least you picked a good cake flavor. Can’t say the same thing about your wife.” I was just sitting there like, “Is this actually happening right now?”

Christa Innis: No, that’s like something you see in a movie. I cannot believe that.

Lex Harper: It was so bad. They’re still married, though. They were going to come to our wedding because they became really good family friends.

Christa Innis: I would be livid at the best man. That’s one of the things you always hear—if you’re going to give a speech, don’t drink too much beforehand. Keep it classy. If you can’t handle your liquor, maybe don’t give a speech.

Lex Harper: I’ve seen a lot of 2025 brides now posting their rules for weddings, kind of like, “These are my rules for my wedding.” They’ve been getting a lot of backlash for it.

One thing that upset people with our wedding was that it was child-free. That’s just what we wanted to do. It wasn’t about purposely excluding kids, but if there’s only one child who’s four, she’s not going to want to hang out with all the adults.

People online have been saying, “That’s so selfish. You can’t do that. Weddings are about family.” And the brides are like, “It’s my day.”

Christa Innis: Whenever I post about child-free weddings or do a skit about it, it always goes so controversial. People go crazy over it. I think it’s really about respecting what people want for their own weddings.

At our wedding, we only invited our nieces and nephews, so there were seven kids total. We didn’t invite friends’ kids or anyone under 18, just because it made sense for us.

Lex Harper: I’ve noticed the same backlash happens with destination weddings. People get very upset about those, too.

Debating Wedding Etiquette

Christa Innis: That’s so funny that you brought that up because I just saw someone comment on one of the videos saying, “It’s so, so selfish of someone to want a destination wedding because they’re asking for so much money.” And I was like, what? Like, I’ve been invited to a destination wedding, and I just couldn’t make it. I just said no, and I wasn’t offended. I just don’t get it—being offended by other people’s wedding choices.

And I think, too, it’s like people want to complain so much about how other people are choosing to do their day. Like, “Oh, that’s so expensive,” or “The way they’re asking bridesmaids is the wrong way.” And it’s like, it’s not your wedding. But if you were asked and you want to say no, just say no. Or… yeah, people like to complain, I guess.

Okay, so really quick before we get into the wedding submission that I want us to blind react to, I added this fun segment called “Pick a Side” on wedding drama kind of debates. I know we’re kind of just talking about some big ones, but this first one: Is it ever okay to uninvite someone to your wedding? Why or why not?

Lex Harper: I’d say yes. Because if you look at, like, realistic timelines, most people won’t get married for, like, nine months to a year. Sometimes even longer than that. So if there’s something dramatic that happens, like, in their timeline, I think it’s okay to uninvite them.

The one thing I would say it’s not okay to do—I’ve had some stories sent in to me, or I’ve known people who were like the beige moms you see all over TikTok, with this aesthetic of “This is what I have, this is what it needs to be.”

I’ve seen a story where they uninvited one of the bridesmaids because she got pregnant. She was supposed to be the maid of honor, and the bride didn’t want her to stand up there with her when she was eight months pregnant because it would “draw attention away” from her. They had been friends since they were six years old—a 20-year friendship—and she uninvited her for that.

That, I would say, is not okay. That’s true colors showing. But if it’s something like falling out of touch, friends drifting apart—it happens all the time—I think that’s okay.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Lex Harper: Yeah.

Christa Innis: No, I totally agree with that.

I think, too, like if it’s a situation where maybe someone was dating when you invited them and you were closer to the person they were dating, but they broke up, and you’re like, “Well, I’m not even close to that person anymore.” I could see that being a reason. Like, “It’d be kind of weird if they came now.”

Or if there’s just, like, weird vibes with someone, like you’re not getting along anymore, I totally agree with that.

What’s your opinion on giving guests a plus one? I know you had a small wedding, so what did you do about the plus ones?

Wedding Etiquette and Drama Unfolds

Lex Harper: Just because we did a family-only wedding, we didn’t have anybody do a plus one because our biggest thing was we didn’t want to be meeting people for the first time on our wedding day. We kind of did a wedding weekend with it, and it’s funny because my husband was still in school. So, he got Thursday and Friday off, and we got married on Thursday.

Then we could have Friday, Saturday, Sunday with our family and everything like that. We got married in Tennessee, so we were like, we want to be able to walk around, enjoy the city, and enjoy family time. He went right back to school on Monday.

So we didn’t have anybody to have plus ones because of how small we kept it. We were also trying to keep it small because his granddad has Alzheimer’s, and having that many people in general—especially new people he doesn’t know—makes him uneasy. We wanted to stay clear of strangers and everything for him.

I think it really depends on the relationship they have if they get a plus one. If it’s a new relationship within six months, I don’t really think they will get a plus one. You’ll have other times to do stuff together, like family events, but it doesn’t need to be at the wedding.

I don’t want to be looking through my wedding pictures and having to crop someone out. The running joke in my family is when we take group pictures, the significant others—whatever they are—always go on the end of the pictures until you’re married. So if you break up, they can just get cropped out. That’s just always how it’s been.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. No, I definitely agree. I don’t think plus ones should be a guaranteed thing.

I think it definitely depends on the type of wedding, the relationship, and maybe a cutoff too. If you give everyone a plus one, your wedding’s going to double. And maybe your 16-year-old cousin shouldn’t bring her boyfriend she’s been dating for a month. So definitely think things through like that.

Okay, before we get too late, I want to read this story submission. It’s not too crazy long or anything. As I read it, we’ll just react and maybe respond at the end.

Here we go. And I’ve not read this—I have my husband helping me out, and he’s pasting them in here. So I’m going to react with you.

This story says:

“I met my now-husband, boyfriend at the time, in August 2022. And at the end of September, one of his best friends was getting married. Since we were newly dating, he asked the groom if I could come to the reception only. I didn’t need a seat, a plate—I don’t drink—I would just come to dance.

I showed up and met all of his friends, and one of the friends’ girlfriends, in particular, was overly friendly and made me feel welcome. I immediately saw through it because she gave me major pick-me vibes. She was one of the guys, the type of girl who was the only one allowed in the group chats.”

Christa Innis: The only one to come to guys’ nights. All the get-togethers had to be at her house. Her wedding was two weeks after this wedding, and that’s all she talked about with me at the wedding—how much better her wedding was going to be, how good the food and music were going to be, and how they had top-shelf alcohol in an open bar instead of a cash bar.

So, first and foremost, talking about your own wedding coming up at a new wedding is so tacky. I think that’s so wrong.

Lex Harper: Very much. Even if it already happened and you’re comparing it to this one, that’s just not okay. Everybody has a different background and everything, so your tastes are automatically going to be different. But you also don’t know the financial position they’re in.

And then if it’s better than your wedding—for example, if your budget was 20,000 and theirs was 40,000—you can always find something to be bitter about. You’re like, “Oh, well, I don’t like this, it’s tacky, it’s cheesy,” and it’s like, okay. You know? Exactly. It doesn’t matter.

Christa Innis: Right. Yeah. I know. I just feel like, what a… I don’t know, I just can’t imagine being at someone’s wedding and criticizing what they’re doing with their completely different setup.

All right, let’s see what else happens here. Fast forward—I got to her wedding late because my sister’s rehearsal dinner was that night.

That sounds like a very crazy, busy weekend. I arrived at the start of the reception. Her friend was so drunk, she was taken away in an ambulance.

Lex Harper: Oh my gosh.

Christa Innis: Apparently, that’s a normal occurrence for her because no one batted an eye as she was put onto the stretcher. Oh my God. At what point is it like, okay, maybe this is not a good place. Maybe she shouldn’t be drinking at an event that happens normally.

Lex Harper: Either. If they’re letting you continue to do that, they need to have an intervention or something and be like, “Hey!”

Christa Innis: Yeah, like, I don’t know if this is right… what we should be doing. Oh my gosh, okay. As the night went on, the bride got sloppy drunk, her friends were fighting, their DJ canceled at the last minute so their feelings weren’t great, and we eventually just left.

That, again, sounds like a movie scene.

Lex Harper: That’s karma for talking about the other girl’s wedding.

Christa Innis: Yeah, literally, like she’s talking so high and mighty about her own wedding, and then it’s like, your top-shelf liquor got you a little too sloppy.

Fast forward two weeks later, and another couple of their friends were getting married. Tell me why she talked about her own wedding during the entire cocktail hour and dinner.

Lex Harper: No.

Christa Innis: It didn’t even faze her. Girl, you screwed up at your own wedding, and now you’re going to… I think a lot of it comes from your own, maybe insecurities or… I don’t know.

Lex Harper: I think people get so used to and comfortable with lying to themselves to make themselves feel better. They’re like, “Oh, this happened, but it wasn’t that bad.” You’re like, “We’re remembering these two completely different ways.”

It’s good for you to put an interesting spin on it, but you remember this much when this much happened.

Christa Innis: Exactly. Yeah, they’re just picking out pieces of what makes sense or what they want to remember.

So, she says, “We never really clicked.”

Like I said, she gave off Pick Me vibes, and I didn’t really want a friendship with her. Not to mention, she screamed at me when she found out I was pregnant before she was! Is this girl? This is terrible. And told me we were supposed to be pregnant together. We weren’t even close friends. What? I wouldn’t even say that to my closest friend.

Christa Innis: Maybe in a joking way, but like definitely not someone I barely know.

Lex Harper: That’s pretty creepy. And then, like, the kids are born and she’s like, “They’re gonna get married.” Like, they’re not gonna be friends. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. “We’re gonna hang out every day.” Oh my gosh. Anyways, I can’t wait to see what you do with this story.

I don’t want to give real names or defining clues because this one was a doozy. Oh my gosh. I cannot. That is insane.

That was a good one to read because sometimes I read stories, and I’m like, it can go one of two ways. This one, like, constantly things happen. Man, girl, I wonder if she hasn’t—I might need to reach out to her and see if she has any updates of, like, this girl’s trying to reach out to her.

Weekly Confessions: Rating the Chaos

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. All right. So we don’t have much time left. I don’t want this to kick us off, but I want to end with reading some weekly confessions. So I started asking my Instagram followers to share their weekly confessions. So what we’re going to do is play a little drama confession game. I’m going to read the confession, and then I want you to rate it from one to 10—one being mild tea and 10 being absolute chaos.

So I’ve got three here. I’m going to read to you, and I’ve not read them yet. So let’s see what we got. Okay. First one:

Christa Innis: “Okay. Mother-in-law gave me the bra she wore on her wedding night for the next time Hubs and I had a special night.”

Lex Harper: It’s just so uncomfortable. Oh, my God. Can we say like 25? Yeah, for real. And that, like, does she want her to tell her husband and be like, “You’re in the middle of it.” And they’re like, “This is your mom’s bra. Yeah, this is your mom.”

Christa Innis: What? Tell your husband, “Hey, we wore it last night.” Like, weird.

Christa Innis: All right, confession two: “My mother-in-law forgot the rings on purpose on our wedding day in hopes her son would change his mind.”

Lex Harper: That’d be like a 10. I’d be so upset.

Christa Innis: Yeah. When I read this, I’m like, did they know the mother-in-law had ill feelings towards them? Because I’d be like, I would never be giving her the rings.

Lex Harper: Buster with that. For our rings at our wedding, it was so funny because I, like—obviously the girls get engagement rings and everything. We had an engagement party back in Arizona, and my husband wanted to wear a ring for it, so I got him some rubber silicone ones. And he never took it off after the engagement party, and I never thought anything of it. So we’re up at the altar getting married, and I go to put his ring on, and he still has his other ring on. I’m like—

Christa Innis: He’s—

Lex Harper: Like, what?

Christa Innis: Yeah. I love it.

Lex Harper: It’s so comfy for him. He didn’t want to take it off.

Christa Innis: I love it. I wouldn’t trust you with that. We held our rings the whole time.

Lex Harper: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Oh, exactly.

Christa Innis: All right. And last one—and I’m hoping this doesn’t cut me off. I think we should be fine. Okay: “Mother-in-law got a room right next to ours for wedding night. We changed it, and she got grumpy and then teased me.”

Christa Innis: Why do you want the room next to your son and his new wife?

Lex Harper: Uh-uh. No. No.

Christa Innis: Those were—couldn’t deal with that at all. Really, I think those were all like 11 plus, at least.

Lex Harper: All right. So bad.

Christa Innis: Those were awesome. Oh my gosh. Well, thank you for coming on and reacting with me. I’m so excited to share this because these were some great stories, and you had some awesome ones yourself.

Christa Innis: Where can everyone follow you on social media and see more of your amazing content?

Lex Harper: They can follow me on TikTok. My TikTok is L-E-X-X underscore Harper. H-A-R-P-E-R-O-1. I don’t even know what my Instagram is. It should be the same, but it’s not. I know it’s—

Christa Innis: Not. And you can send them to me too, and I will make sure they’re in the show notes as well.

Lex Harper: Yeah, my Instagram one’s long, so I’ll send you that one. Okay.

Lex Harper: But I was gonna ask you something too. I’ve been getting so many comments and DMs and everything. They’re like, “You two need to be doing story times together. Like, you need a collab. You need to do this.” So do you care if I take a picture and put like a teaser, like on my story for it, and be like—

Christa Innis: Yeah, of course. Yeah.

Christa Innis: And then I hope this doesn’t cut out, but yeah, of course. Absolutely. You can do that.

Christa Innis: And when this is all done too, I’ll send you an email with some clips that you can share as well and like tease it and all the links and all that.

Lex Harper: Awesome.

Christa Innis: Well, thank you so much. It was so nice meeting you.

Lex Harper: Nice meeting you too.

Christa Innis: All right. Bye.


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