Wedding Feuds, Toxic Family Drama, and The Invisible String with Sarah Wizeman

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Ever wondered what happens when your wedding is full of chaos and family feuds?

This week on Here Comes The Drama, the wedding chaos reaches next-level insanity! Christa dives into a jaw-dropping story about no-kids wedding rules, a sister’s outrageous demands, and family drama that almost derailed the big day. Then, Christa and Sarah Wizeman break down the wildest wedding confessions from listeners, from toxic in-laws to surprise pregnancy announcements to overzealous sister-in-laws calling off weddings!

Plus, Sarah shares her incredible journey as an author, her book The Invisible String, and her plans for monthly romance and bridal story releases—complete with skits on TikTok and YouTube. This episode is packed with drama, laughs, and insider wedding chaos you won’t want to miss.

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Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • Sister Drama & Guest List Battles – A no-kids rule sparks chaos when a bride’s sister insists her boyfriend’s daughter be included, leading to ultimatums, family arguments, and threats to skip the wedding entirely.
  • Family Feuds & Step-Family Tension – Mom favoritism and step-family dynamics collide, creating heated conflicts over invitations and long-lasting emotional fallout.
  • Long-Term Grudges & Wedding Fallout – Even small wedding decisions ripple for years—the bride and her sister barely speak, showing how family drama can outlast the celebration.
  • Family Drama & Healing – Sarah opens up about her own wedding, her dad’s no-contact stance, and finding peace with supportive loved ones.
  • The Invisible String Books – Discussion of Sarah’s two books, detailing connections, romance, and how her wedding experiences inspired storytelling.
  • Skits That Educate – How Sarah turns real-life wedding chaos into relatable skits that teach communication and reflection.
  • Wedding Proposal & Pregnancy Drama – Evaluating awkward and potentially disruptive moments at weddings, and how to handle them with grace.
  • Vendor Chaos Stories – Tales of photographers and other vendors nearly derailing weddings, and how couples navigated it.
  • Upcoming Projects & Skits – Sarah teases her monthly book releases, including a Hallmark-style Christmas tree farm story.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  • “People show their true colors in weddings—and it’s wild what comes out when the pressure’s on.” Christa Innis
  • “Sometimes the drama reveals who really has your back—and who doesn’t.” Christa Innis
  • “Watching chaos unfold in real life makes you rethink your own behavior too.” – Christa Innis
  • “I never knew mothers-in-law could try to cancel weddings… until I heard it firsthand.” – Christa Innis
  • “The right skit can turn drama into a lesson everyone remembers.” – Christa Innis
  • “By sharing my story, I realized I’m not alone—and neither is anyone else going through it.” – Sarah Wizeman
  • “Wedding drama forced me to be grateful for the people who really showed up for me.” – Sarah Wizeman
  • “Turning these moments into skits helps others reflect and even heal their own relationships.” – Sarah Wizeman
  • “Communication is always the best. I tried reaching out, even when it didn’t work, because it’s worth it.” – Sarah Wizeman
  • “Even without the perfect wedding, I found the perfect people around me who mattered most.” – Sarah Wizeman

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

About Sarah

Sarah Wizeman is the queen of TikTok wedding stories, from unhinged skits to “did-that-really-happen?” confessionals — and she is truly one of the most personable humans on the internet. She’s also an author (yes, a full-on romantic comedy writer!), and I’ve linked her books below because you’re absolutely going to want more of her after this episode. We had an absolute blast chatting, and she even shared her own jaw-dropping wedding drama that left me stunned — plus we dove into some wild listener submissions that took the chaos to a whole new level.

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Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis:  Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis, and this is gonna be a short introduction because I’m starting to lose my voice. Um, it was a little raspy in the beginning, but I had so much fun talking with my guest today. Sarah Wizeman, she’s all of TikTok sharing different wedding stories, skits, and I just love chatting with her.

She’s so personable and she’s actually an author as well. She wrote a romantic comedy too, in fact. Um, so I have the links to those below, but we just had so much fun chatting and she shares her own wedding drama story that will have you completely shocked, um, in addition to our other wedding story submissions that we read.

So without further ado, please enjoy this very special episode with Sarah Wizeman.

Hi, Sarah.

Sarah Wizeman: Hi Christa.

Christa Innis: Thank you so much for coming on. I know we’ve been like chatting before recording, but I’m just so excited to finally meet you. I think I was telling you, so many people had tagged you in my comment saying, ‘you need to have Sarah Wizeman on the show. I love her stories.’ And so I thought, what better way to connect and have you on?

Sarah Wizeman: Oh my goodness. How exciting. I know I love you and your skits. Oh my gosh. And we are like, so f familiar or similar, with the wedding stuff, so I’m so honored to be on your podcast, so thank you for having me.

Christa Innis:  Of course. No, I, love like watching skits and like, obviously like that’s how I kind of got into it too.

We were just talking about how we love telling stories and. Even before like making skits, like if I was telling someone a story, I was like such a detail person. Or maybe the details didn’t matter, but I’d be like, the sky was blue and that girl was wearing a pink shirt. And then like people would be like, okay, get to the point.

But like, it’s just part of storytelling. I feel like that’s how you are too.

Sarah Wizeman: Yep, exactly. I’m like every, and then there’s this detail, oh wait, I have to back up. And there’s more details that I forgot about. So let me do that real quick.

Christa Innis:  Yeah. Yeah. So how did you start doing this like skit kind of content?

Like how did you start getting into it? What was your first skit, all that good stuff?

Sarah Wizeman: Well, I started off in TikTok, you know, with the TikTok dances and just having fun with that. I was trying to like, leave my job to be like, become a content creator and an author, ’cause I really loved to write and I’ve always loved to write.

And so, February, 2024, I published my first book, the Invisible Spring. and I was trying really hard to promote it and get it out there. It’s about like how my husband and I have always like, been intertwined with each other. So I was like, let’s try to get it out there.

I didn’t do schizo at first. At first, I was just kind of like reading passages from it and doing little bits here and there. And then I started to do a little bit of, Skits, quote unquote, like where I would just kind of like talk back and forth, not really get full on into the acting. And then one day I got kind of overwhelmed with everything and I was also planning my wedding

I decided, to have a child-free wedding. And, we had someone, like talk to us about how they went to a child-free wedding and they said that they had a wonderful time, but she said that, the bride at that wedding was getting a lot of complaints, from people because they were like, I wanna bring my children.

And so I was like. It would be really fun to just like, let loose and do a skit about this. So I did a skit about a child free wedding, and then it like just took off like the drama of it. Like one lady’s like, ‘I’m gonna bring my children anyway.’ Like I threw that in there and then that one just took off and I’m like, okay.

And then I started to do ones with like bridesmaids and like a couple going on their honeymoon and just like big plot twists, like where it was just like, what just happened? And then it just took off from there. And I’ve been doing skits ever since.

Christa Innis:  I love  that. Yeah. I feel like it’s like the skit content is so interesting because like it allows people to like see it from an outside perspective.

And at first I was like, when I did it, I was like, am I creating like more I dunno, anger or whatever. But then like, I’ve gotten so many messages from people being like, no, you’ve helped me like address the situation or you’ve helped me learn how to talk to my mother-in-law. And I’m like, oh, okay.

 I’m glad it’s doing something. But it’s interesting that you say that your first one was about a child free wedding. ’cause I think mine was too, it’s such a controversial topic.

Sarah Wizeman: Yes.

Christa Innis: And I’ve never like understood why people get so up in arms about it, even as a mom of a toddler Now, if my husband and I were get, were to get an invite, I would not be offended.

And if they were like child free, I’d be like, I girl, I get it. It’s fine. I know you don’t want my toddler running around grabbing everything. Things are breakable. I understand. Yes. So I don’t get where people get offended by it.

Sarah Wizeman: I agree. It was more for, like, for me, the reason why I chose a child free wedding was just like the safety of it.

Like we were an outside wedding. There was gonna be like an open bar there too. And I didn’t want like the kids to, get into any trouble per se, I guess. Mm-hmm. and I also wanted, like, my friends always kept saying like, I just need a night off. I just like, would love to just drop my kids off at grandma’s and just go party with you.

And then I was like, is if that’s really what you want.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: I’m that’s exactly what I’ll do.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I feel like that’s the thing too. It’s like knowing your friends and family, like who you’re inviting. Because that was the same for me. Like, I was one of the last ones to have kids out of my friend group.

They all had kids and they I knew they were the kinds that were like, no, we’re getting a babysitter, we’re gonna have grandma and grandpa watch them or whatever that was. that’s how like all of our friends and family did weddings. Like Yeah. We had like immediate. Like nieces and nephews at the wedding or you had like immediate cousins kids at the wedding.

But most weddings I’d been to, it wasn’t just a free for all, like huge families. And that’s, I dunno, here and there maybe, but like for the most part I didn’t see that. So I just was like, for us, we did like nieces and nephews only and so we have seven at the time. I’m trying to think. Yeah, seven nieces and nephews.

And so I invited all of them ‘ cause they were like a part of the wedding and then I left it up to the parents. Like my sister didn’t bring her twins ’cause she was like, it’s just they won’t have fun. They’ll be fine out. But I left it up to, the parents. But other than that I was like, yeah, we’re gonna do 21 and older.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. I think that is like becoming more of a trend lately to do it that way. And also I’ve seen where like the kids are there for the ceremony and then they go home or they, the couple like, has like a babysitter watch them during the reception part of it too. So I see, I see that happening more frequently as well.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I love that idea. I’ve been hearing that more and more about like, venues that have like another room where you can get like a babysitter and put like toys and stuff. Mm-hmm. I think if I knew, um, like, like friends of mine or something, were having a hard time with a babysitter, I think I would, I’ve tried something like that, or if my venue could have done that.

Mm-hmm. But again, it was like, I feel like it’s also like how you, I don’t know how you handled the situation too, because I think a lot of it, and I’m, I’m sure like the skit you did too, it’s like the entitlement of like, well I’m gonna bring my kids anyway ’cause it’s wild. I personally didn’t have to deal with that, but those stories happen all the time where people are like, I don’t care if it says no kids.

This is my child. I’m bringing them. And like, I’d be mortified to bring my child where she doesn’t belong necessarily. Right?

Sarah Wizeman: You are absolutely right. It’s not, it’s not the actual like, no kids’ rule. It’s the entitlement. It’s like these people that think that they can just do whatever they want and not,

Christa Innis: oh, I think I’m losing you.

Sarah Wizeman: You can bring your child if it’s, if it’s, if it’s really that

Christa Innis: important to you. I think I lost you for a second. Oh, I don’t know if it’s my internet. Let me check. It says my Internet’s unstable. I don’t know. Okay. Oh, it seems okay now. It again. I can switch like my hotspot or something. Okay. It’s like written weird, but anyway.

Um, okay, so we were talking about, um, yeah, it’s more of the entitlement, right?  

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. So it’s more of the entitlement. Like if you were to message me and say like, Hey, I really need to bring my infant, like, or I really need to bring my child, um, or else I won’t be able to come, I would probably be that person to be like, okay, like I understand like you have these needs, but like people who just are like.

I’m just gonna show up with my child because I don’t care. I’m gonna do what I want. That’s like, that’s off. I, uh, that bugs me. That grinds my gears.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And I feel like it goes both ways too because, um, I’ve heard of also stories where like, let’s say the bride and groom says child free wedding, and then someone in the wedding or a guest says, well, I can’t make it then, but best wishes.

Like, they’re so respectful about it. And then the bride and groom get mad and I’m like, you can’t get mad if someone can’t still get a babysitter. So that’s also the entitlement of the bride and groom feeling like the world should just, should stop for their wedding day. And it’s like if you can’t get a babysitter and they politely decline, still send a gift or you know, whatever, you need to accept that and that’s gonna be okay.

Sarah Wizeman: Yes, a hundred percent. Like you said, I see it on both sides and the bride and groom have to realize that everybody else has lies. Their wedding isn’t like the center of everyone’s attention,

Christa Innis: so. Yeah, I know. Um, so what do you think like. So you said that kind of blew up that first skit? Yes. So then do you get people sending you in stories or do you kind of just think of things you’ve seen or what kind of has mostly inspired the stories you do?

Sarah Wizeman: Um, so I do get people who do try to message me stories. Um, I’ve done a couple of those, but I don’t do them often. Um, just because, um, just because like I feel like I would really have to like hop on a phone call with them sometimes and like really get like the actual details. ’cause I’m like, I did that one, I did the first one that was sent in to me.

And I’m like, but she didn’t tell me exactly how this happened. How do I interpret this? I hope I don’t interpret it wrong kind of thing.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: Um, so I, so I’ve done that a couple times, but mostly it’s just me, like having inspiration from like, what people have said to me. Um, sometimes I go on Reddit and get ideas from Reddit.

Like I, I’ll take like a Reddit thread. And, um, they’ll, they’ll say like, what happened? And then I’m like, wow, that’s crazy. But like, what could make this even more crazier? Like, what could be even a bigger plot twist than that? So I’ll take like, inspiration from those types of things.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I love that. It’s funny you say that about like, when people send you in stories.  I, there was a wild story one time, I’m trying to think which one it was. I think it was the one where either it was like a surprise wedding for the bride, like the groom and the bride’s mom planned the wedding. Yeah. And she was like, it was like scary, like, honestly, like how weird it went. But all these people are commenting like, there’s no way this happened.

This couldn’t have happened. And someone literally commented like, do you fact check this? And I’m like, what do you want me, how do you want me to fact check? Do you want me to call all their family members? And I was like, I was like, you can take everything I feel like on the internet with a grain of assault.

Right? So like, I get a, I get a story sent to me and I always say. Like, either I come up with it myself or it’s inspired by a story. Mm-hmm. And I’m like, I’ll just take parts of it and I mix it all up. You know, I put it in a B blender and I mix it. ’cause I’m like, I only get part of the story. And even if I get a really detailed story, I’m only getting it for one perspective.

Um, yes. As I don’t agree with the person that send it to me either, which is really awkward.

Sarah Wizeman: That that’s, that’s very awkward.

Christa Innis:  I know what you mean though, because I’m like, yeah, because a, a couple of podcast episodes actually, um, we’ll see when we get to ours, but I’ve read the story with the person and we’re both like, oh no, this, this person’s like in the wrong.

Sarah Wizeman: Oh no. Yeah.

Christa Innis: And then you have to kind of figure out how to like, twist it and show like both sides and Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, no, I, yep. That’s kind of also one of the reasons why I don’t do a lot of people who send me stories, um, is because like if I do end up changing it and like it offends them because I don’t agree with it, then I don’t even wanna get into like that or like, you know, like offending them in any way I guess.

So yeah, I was just.

Christa Innis: This is unbiased. I’m just taking what I can see. Yes, exactly. Like around like if a bride sent it to me, I might make it from the groom’s perspective and mix. Oh yeah.

Stepmother Sabotage, Wedding Day Chaos, and Family Loyalty

Um, okay. Do you have any wild stories of your own? Like either something you’ve seen or heard or something that maybe you’ve made into a skit? I don’t know, but yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: Um, yes, I have my own story that is based on my own wedding. Um. And it’s a little bit of a long one, but basically, um, what happened was my dad didn’t show up to my wedding. Okay. Yeah. So, um, we’ll go back to when I got engaged. Um, so, um, I got engaged in August of 2023, and then right after that my father announced to us that he, um, uh, was diagnosed with cancer.

Christa Innis: Okay.

Sarah Wizeman: And, um, at that point, uh, he announced that in October, I’m, I think it was so August? Yeah, it was a co it was like a month after month and a half after. So in October he announced by this time, um, I had been with my fiance for a long period of time before that, so we kind of already had like what we wanted to do with a wedding.

So our plan was to go on a destination wedding, like a cruise wedding to Bermuda. Like, we had our heart set on it. All of our friends were on board. Um, and so we sent out the invitations. He got diagnosed. Um, he was, he was still excited about it. Um, he was a little nervous ’cause he doesn’t like to travel very much, but he was still excited.

Uh, one day I get to the, um, to their house and, um, we previously had a cruise plan, but we had to cancel it because my dad’s job and, um, my stepmom, uh, we’ll call her El, um, she commented to me, she’s like, oh, you’re going to Bermuda for your wedding. I really wish we could go back to Alaska. Um, like the other cruise was planned for. And I was like, oh, um, yeah, but this is what, uh, Bernard, uh, my fiance, well now my husband and I really want. And, um, and then that was just, I like, kept that in my mind. I’m like, oh, that’s weird.

A couple months go by. We needed to finalize the bookings for the cruise. And all of a sudden my dad calls me up and says that he’s not going to be able to make it to the wedding.

And I’m like, I need my dad there for my wedding. I need my father to walk me down the aisle. Yeah. And um, so my husband or my fiance at the time, husband now, I’ll just call him my husband from now on out. Yeah. But, um, he and I decided we were gonna cancel the cruise and we were gonna do an at-home wedding and we were gonna use the cruise as like our, um, honeymoon.

Christa Innis: Yeah. So when your dad first said, I’m not gonna the wedding, what was his reasoning? Was it ’cause of the cancer? Was this like he just didn’t wanna trouble or what?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, at first he said like, you know, um, I, this cancer is taking a lot outta me. I don’t know what’s gonna happen, but I can’t travel ’cause of my immune system. That’s why I was like, we need to cancel it. It’s not my dad’s fault that he can’t make it. You know, I, I want my dad there. Mm-hmm. And so, um, we canceled it and we began planning, um, back home.

Uh, fast forward to like, a couple months before my wedding, so this was May of 2024. And my stepmom, my dad and I and my sister were out for ice cream to celebrate my birthday. And she, my stepmother stands up and is like, I have an announcement to make, or we have an announcement to make and we’re like, oh, what’s going on? We’re going on a cruise.

Christa Innis: Stop it.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. I’m my sister. Immediately, sna like, breaks her neck, looks at me and is like. What, like, like looking at me to make sure I’m okay.

I held my composure and I just like nodded and I was like, oh, hmm. And like they explained what the cruise was about. My dad was like looking down the entire time like he knew not even like, wanting to talk. Yeah.

Christa Innis: He knew she must stop.

Sarah Wizeman: So I just like that really hurt. I let it go.

Christa Innis: Other things started. Sorry to cut in, do you?

No, that’s okay. Think, um, when she made that like kind of snide comment about I wish we were gonna Alaska, they went home that night and she’s like, I can’t believe they’re going on a cruise. We need to go on our cruise first. Or like, made some kind of comment.

Sarah Wizeman: Um, she probably could have, I’m not gonna say like, I definitely think she did that or what, but she is the type of person, she’s the type of person to do that, unfortunately. Which it’s really sad, but Yes. Went along. So, yeah, my dad does not have a backbone around her at all. Like, oh, and when he and her got married, uh, there was some issues way back then. There was some issues with us too. We like, kind of fell, fell, fell back, um, because he married her so fast, like within two months of knowing each other.

Oh, wow.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. That’s a whole another story.

Oh, girl. Wow.

Sarah Wizeman: Okay. Yeah. So, um, there were some issues with that. And so, um, like during that time, I was young at that time I was in my early twenties. Maybe I was even 19 at the time, but I was like, I’m not gonna deal with this. And I moved out and, um. Over the years, we got our relationship back and going again.

And, um, I started to have more of a better relationship with Elle, my stepmom and feeling that, um, and then it came to my wedding and then this stuff started happening. And so yes, it does make me question whether or not she would, she would do something like that. She is very capable of doing that.

Christa Innis: And when was their crew supposed to be scheduled?

Sarah Wizeman: like, yeah, like later. Like around the same time or like a little bit later than our maybe. Oh, ours was in, uh, like late September, early October. I wanna say it was like around then or like November. Okay. So it was around the same time.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Did you take everything in you in that moment to not say something?

Sarah Wizeman: Oh yeah. And I’m like. I like, couldn’t process it at that time. Like when she told me. ’cause I’m like thinking like, what’s the next, like what’s the, um, like what’s the big announcement? Because she just before that said that she had like a little announcement and she said that she got a new job when we were at the ice cream place.

And then, um, it was actually, um, at that time where my sister said something like, oh, hey Sarah, just, um, like her skits are doing really great on TikTok. She has like 50,000 followers. And like my dad was like, what? Like, that’s crazy. And then that’s when she was like, I have an announcement to make. And she like, cut in.

And so

Christa Innis:  You have your moment?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Like she’s the type of person that just needs like the attention on her all the time. It’s, it’s very frustrating. Um, like to skip forward a little bit. Like other things started happening after that. Like my dad was retiring from his job. They hosted like a surprise retirement party.

He got wind that I was gonna be there, and that caused a huge, a huge argument because he’s like, L wasn’t invited and you are, do you know how that would make it look? I’m like, dad, I’m your biological daughter. And like, I’m like, and it was a retirement party. He and uninvited me from his retirement party. Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis:  So is he hosting it or is it his work hosting it?

Sarah Wizeman: It’s at his work. So he was like, um, he like worked for, um, like a big highway department. Um, like, you know, they paved roads and stuff and so they always like threw retirement parties there and they invited the family. And, um, we found out later what actually happened.

We found out that, um, Elle was invited, but she didn’t wanna go because she had, um, my, with my dad’s secretary, um, she worked with her previously and, um, they did not get along, so, oh, I wonder why.

Christa Innis: Yeah,

Sarah Wizeman: So she  didn’t wanna go.She was mad.

Christa Innis: So she didn’t want to go. She wasn’t invited, didn’t want to go.

And because of that, they didn’t want you guys going either.

Sarah Wizeman: Right. My dad was like, I can’t let you go because it’ll look bad. And I’m like, how is it gonna look bad? I’m not like another woman. I’m your daughter. Like, you know, like, I’m not the other woman or something like that. I’m your daughter. So, yeah, so, so this all happened, so that happened a month, uh, almost two months before my wedding.

And so I. I’m like, you know, like I always usually let things side, but that really hurt. So me and him had a talk. I called him up two days after that happened and I was like, now that you’ve had time to process everything, like what you did was wrong, that was wrong. I told him like how I felt and then that’s when I brought up like wedding stuff.

Like she’s acting this way, dad, is she not gonna let you take pictures with me? Because she’s not in them like, what’s gonna happen at the wedding? I started to bring that up and he’s like, it should be fine, and all this other stuff. I’m like, it should be fine. No, it’s going to be fine, because nothing is maliciously like happening here.

I don’t have malicious intent. I’m not trying to cut her out. Meanwhile, I invited all of her friends to come to the wedding because she is so like, jealous of my mom. And by the way, my mom is, um, has dementia and doesn’t even like know what day it is. Like, so she’s, she, her personality is there, but like she doesn’t have the mental capacity to understand like really like what is going on.

So she would never try to make anybody feel uncomfortable. Yeah. She just like cracks jokes and stuff ’cause you know, of the dementia. So, but my, but my stepmom still has, um, a lot of like, jealousy towards, um, towards my mother and other people.

Christa Innis: Wow.

Sarah Wizeman: So like, that’s why I got into it with him. ’cause I was like, if this is gonna happen at my wedding, like we need to like nip this in the bud right away.

Yeah. So, he, so we, we were good. Like my, my rest of my family, his own brothers were like, I can’t believe he uninvited you. Like, this is crazy. Um, so fast forward to the rehearsal dinner. Um, I hadn’t really heard much from Elle or my dad, um, before then. I did text Elle like a couple weeks before the wedding asking her what song she wanted to like walk out to.

And um, she like, you’re gonna never walk down in part of the ceremony or like, um, like, um, in the reception when they’re like, and the father of the bride and the stepmother, like, I asked, I wanted to include her. I wanted her to like, um, pick the song and like, I wanted her to be included in that process.

So, um, she picked her song and then fast forward to the rehearsal, um, I’m setting up. Everything’s, everything’s like chaotic. My dad and El get there. I asked him to bring the generator like a couple days before and, um, I, I forgot this part, but on the phone when I asked him that, he like, forgot that my wedding was that weekend.

Christa Innis: Yeah, like for what?

Sarah Wizeman: Uh, like I was like, can I borrow the generator? Um, because I need it to power. Um, I think it was like the DJ booth or something. And, uh, he was like, oh yeah, I’m not, I’m not busy this weekend. I can get it over to you. And I’m like, of course you’re not busy this weekend. It’s my wedding.

He’s like, oh, oh yeah. And I’m like, okay. That was weird. Um, so that happened. Then the rehearsal, he comes in with the generator with Elle. I’m like, hi dad. Hi Elle. They like, are stone cold, like don’t even move a muscle in their face. And they’re just like this the whole time.

Christa Innis: Okay.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Like just mad, just like something, I don’t know.

At that point I didn’t know. And so I’m like, oh, thank you for bringing the generator. Um, can you put it over there? And then they walked away and then like people could tell that what happened. And so they came up to me and they’re like, are you okay? Like, what just happened there? And I’m like, I don’t know.

I don’t have time to deal with that right now. I have so many things to set up. So, um, I, I set up stuff. Um, things are, um, like we eat and then we decide to do the actual rehearsal. ’cause we, we rented like a property from our friends, like overlooking a lake. So like, we just had our own timeline. So we just like set up a tent.

We had like dinner and then we did like whatever the rehearsal. So we’re getting ready to go, like walk down the aisle and practice all of that. And, um, I’m like ready to start walking down the aisle and then all of a sudden I’m like looking and my dad’s like nowhere to be found. And then I like turn and look and he’s way back there, like across like the tent. He’s just sitting with Elle by themselves. And I’m like, are you gonna walk me down the aisle? And he like, was like, yeah, yeah. And he like runs up, walks me down the aisle and then we practice it again. Um, he’s like very hesitant to come stand next to me. And when I asked him to stand like near like the rest of the bridal party, my mom was there as well.

He like said no and like ran back down the other end of the aisle to stand next to Elle.

Christa Innis: So like he’s scared of being like within six inches of your mom?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. Right. So, um, so it sounds like him and Ella been married for a while or together for a while now at this point. Yeah. So it’s not like, it’s like some new like fling and your mom and him, like just, you know, like, why can’t you just be like adults?

Sarah Wizeman: Right. Exactly. Right. Yeah. No, they were married for, at this point, 12 years. So they had, yeah, plenty of, I don’t know, plenty of time together. Yeah. I’m just, yeah, it just, every time I, like, every time I tell this story, I’m just like, yeah, I know. I’m like, yeah, I know. It’s cool. Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. Um, but um, so that happens.

I finally like, um, we wrap it up. And, um, I’m just like overwhelmed by like, what’s going on? I’m like, I don’t feel good about this. Like, I don’t feel good. My dad, like the photographer was there ’cause she wanted to practice and she came up to me and she’s like, just to let you know, you like, you need to work on your smile, like to walk down the aisle.

’cause look at these photos, you look miserable. And my dad’s in the photo and he’s like, like, so like not enjoying his time. And I’m like, oh my gosh, you’re so right. Um, so I start packing things up, um, l and my dad LB lines it to the car. My dad comes up to me and he’s like, ‘when is l supposed to be walking down the aisle?’

And I’m like, uh, she’s not dad. We just practiced it. If she was walking down the aisle, we would’ve practiced her walking down the aisle.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: And he’s like. Oh, well, um, I thought she would be walking down the aisle or something to that effect. And before I could answer, my uncle, his own brother came up and my dad turned and saw him, and then he was like, well, anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow.

And then he like, oh, before I did that, I gave him a gift. Like I was like, this is for Elle and this is for you. I just got like a little plaque for her that said thank you for being my stepmom. And for him I like had like a little t-shirt made that said Father of the bride, and I gave them, or I gave him the gift to give to her in the car.

And then my uncle comes up and then he walks away. And then…

Christa Innis: Say the same thing in front of his brother?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Weird.

Sarah Wizeman: And my uncle, whose name’s Matt, he came up to me and he’s like. Did I hear that correctly? And I was like, what? That L’s supposed to be walking down the aisle? And he’s like, yeah. And I was like, yep, you sure did.

And he’s like, that’s a bit ridiculous. And I’m like, I know. And then, um, and he’s like, you gave her a gift and she didn’t even come up to you and accept it herself? And I was like, yeah, I guess you’re right about that. Like, you know, I’m like, I’m, I’m like my mind’s a million times right now. Like everything I have to still do for the wedding, this happening.

Like all of like, what’s like going off, so.

Christa Innis:  Okay. So, yeah. So what wedding do you go to where the stepmom, let alone, even like, the moms don’t typically walk down the aisle, so why get so up in arms, like offended by that?

Sarah Wizeman: That’s Yeah, I know. It’s, it, it was mind blowing to me. Like, I’m like, what? So, um, so yeah, so fast forward to that night.

We get back, we stayed at a, like a lake house to get ready. Um, so we spent the night there. Me and my bridesmaids, my bridesmaids all had like an intervention with me that night. They like, were like, Sarah, you need to stand up for yourself. Like, you need to stop just like letting things go. Tomorrow is your wedding day.

Do you wanna be miserable walking down the aisle? And I was like, no. And he’s, and they were all like, it’s so unacceptable the way your dad and Al treated you tonight. Like, um, like, it’s not you. It’s them. Like, they were like trying to convince me that I wasn’t crazy. And I was like, yeah, yeah, I know. So, um, we made the decision together to not have my dad walk me down the aisle and I was gonna have my Uncle Matt walk me down the aisle.

Okay. Um, and my uncle Matt has been there for me. Like, he’s like my dad. Like he, my, I wish my dad was like Uncle Matt. Mm-hmm. He doesn’t have any kids of his own. And him and I have like this bond that has just been like so strong since I was born. And so he’s like the ones that, he was the one when like, my dad wouldn’t be able to show up to my sporting events.

Like, he was always there. Um, I owned a food truck for like five years and he showed up to every single food truck event that I did. Um, so he was, he’s really like, you know, the best person ever. Yeah. And we almost lost him to COVID a couple years before and I didn’t think that he was gonna make it. And so I was like.

You know what? He’s here, he is like a miracle. And you know what? I’m gonna have him walk me down the aisle because I think that’s like what, like what is like, like what God is telling me to do at this point. Like mm-hmm. I think this is like what fate is, like this is fate. Mm-hmm. So the next morning, um, we have to go and quickly set up like the little place cards and stuff.

And my bridesmaid, um, her name in my book about this is Taylor, but she’s my best friend and she, her name’s Amanda. She, um, I. She absolutely was like, I will talk to, or I will send a text message to your dad so you don’t have to worry about it. Whoa. Yeah. So she writes, she writes up a text message, um, and then she’s like, does this sound good?

And I was like, yeah. So she basically said like, Hey, she pretended to be me in the text message. She was like, Hey, um, I just wanna let you know I love you, dad. This is like nothing personal against you. I love you so much. But, um, unfortunately with everything that happened yesterday, I’ve decided to, um, make the decision to have Uncle Matt walk me down the aisle.

Um, I just, I forget what exactly else was in that note or in that message, but basically it was like, I love you and, um, I still want you there, and, uh, I just am doing this so that I can have a great day tomorrow. So she crafts up that message and we send it to together. And then I’m in the chair getting my hair done and my dad calls me and he is calling me.

Or he, he, he or I say hello. And he’s like, what do you mean? And I’m like, yeah, dad. I just, what happened yesterday? Like I can’t, I can’t be in that same mindset for my wedding. This is supposed to be the best day of my life. And that definitely didn’t feel like it yesterday. And so he just went off. He was like, well, the reason that I was me and Elle were like that yesterday is because we found out that you and your sister hate Elle.

And I was like, what? What? And then lo and behold, um, her biological daughter, Elle’s biological daughter, who was my stepsister, um, she. Got into, um, an argument with Elle and she told Elle that she’s self-centered, always has to have the attention on her. She like, basically like called her out on everything and then said, everybody wants your toxic behavior to change, including Sarah and Katie, who’s my sister, my biological sister.

And so they heard that and they like took it to the next level and said like, oh, you hate, like, you guys hate. 

Christa Innis: That’s so well ’cause it’s like if someone, if someone heard that like out of nowhere mm-hmm. Don’t you think they’d be like, be like, I need to talk to them, or like, I need to like look forward or something.

Not like, be like, well we heard you hate her, so we’re just not gonna show up and we’re gonna glare at you the whole time. Like Right. It seems so like juvenile to me, right?

Sarah Wizeman: Yes. Yes. And, um, at, at that point. I, I realized when they said that, I’m like, that’s why the last couple of months have been weird. And also they have like barely reached out to me.

So I’m like, oh, okay. Um, so then the whole phone call is just him yelling at me and him like bringing up like everything from the past, like, just like saying like basically how much of a bad person I am. It was just, that was so, that was crazy. Wow. Yeah. And just like listening to my dad, like taking stories out of hindsight and then like reversing them and basically creating lies.

It was just, that was like sitting there on your wedding day, like listening to this. My like, bridesmaids were all in front of me with me on speaker phone talking to ’em and they were like, like that. Oh. And then, um, Elle gets on her phone,

Christa Innis: She probably has on her phone. She gets on the phone?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Yeah. She gets on the phone ’cause he’s like, I think you should talk to her. And then…

Christa Innis: On your wedding day?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, this is me. I’m getting my hair done. The poor hairstylist is in the back. Like, like trying to play, like trying to be cool. I like had to apologize to her a million times. I felt so bad. I’m like, oh my gosh. Um, and so Elle gets on the phone and she starts yelling at me and, and saying like, oh, I heard what I heard.

And then I’m like, okay, uh, it’s not true. Like, I’ve never said that I hated you. You and I both know we’ve had our difficulties in the past, meaning like when they first got married and I like moved out ’cause I couldn’t deal with it. Um, you know, and I, you and I both had our difficulties in the past, but I thought like, we like resolved that kind of thing.

And so, um, so yeah, I just, I kind of told her that and then she like went off on me some more and then my bridesmaid, Amanda came up. And was like, Sarah, you are not dealing with this anymore on your wedding day. And she grabs the phone from me and she goes in the other room and she says, you can hear her saying Elle, hello, Elle.

And Elle’s still talking like she can’t hear.

Christa Innis: So she’s just going off.

Sarah Wizeman: She’s just going off. Yeah. And she finally, you hear Amanda go up and then like silence. And then she’s like, Sarah’s gonna walk down the aisle with Matt. If you have a problem with it, then too bad you can show up or don’t show up. I don’t care.

And then like you hear Elle hang up and then Oh, and then you hear, you hear Amanda just like, that’s right bitch. And then she’s like, and she’s like, um, she’s so funny. She’s just like, yeah, and that’s what I thought or whatever. And then I’m sitting there like shaking. ’cause I’m like, what just happened?

And so, um, all of my sister’s crying. All of my bridesmaids are like, like, I’m like, so feeling so bad for my bridesmaids too. ’cause I’m like, they, they could probably come from normal families. Like, you know, they’ve never seen this, like in my mind at that time. I’m like, oh my gosh. So, um. He ended up not showing up.

He texted him and my, uh, husband Bernard are, were very close. Like, um, he, they would do stuff together all the time. And he texted Bernard before our wedding and said, Hey, I’m sorry I can’t make it. And Bernard thought it was a joke. So like, when we’re doing our first look, but.

Christa Innis:  He doesn’t know what’s going on.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. He doesn’t know what’s going on. Oh my. And so Bernard is like, I got like, your dad is like really bad at dad jokes. Like, and I’m like, oh no, that’s not a joke. And then he was like, what? And I’m like, yeah. He’s not coming. He’s, he’s not coming. And, um, he didn’t show up. And, um, none of her, like friends, like I had a whole table not show up because all of, she like told all of her friends not to show up to the wedding.

Her friend, her best friend’s son was our dj. Um, and he showed up. But, but because he knows l and he came up to me and he is like, I’m really sorry what you went through. My mom told me what happened. And um, she told me a little, he, she’s, he’s like telling the story of way that she heard it, which was not accurate, but he’s like, I know that that wasn’t it.

’cause uh, he’s like, Elle did the same thing at my wedding. Like he was, he, he told me that like. He like, or she, um, I guess like yelled at his wife at the wedding or something. I don’t know. But like at the time I was like, what? Like, I’m like sitting there at dinner when the DJ comes up to me and I’m like, she did what?

So it kind of made me feel better though. ’cause I was like, oh my gosh, at least I’m not the only one, like who like know, like that sees her side like her true side. Because for a while, um, I would like my whole family, like my sister and my uncles and I were not separated, but like I would be on like my dad and Elle’s like side side.

I don’t wanna say like that, but like, basically I would go over there for holidays and then I would show up later to the rest of the family’s holiday. ’cause they didn’t have holidays together ’cause they didn’t get along. And so I’m, I’m like, was like the middle ground and like they were trying to tell me like all the things that like weren’t acceptable by my dad and Elle.

And then finally like, I was like, you know what? I see what they’re saying now. I see what’s going on. This is very toxic behavior. And after that I realized that like, that’s very narcissistic. I didn’t really know narcissist, like I’ve heard the term narcissist before and I’ve like seen like in like relationships, like where the guy is like a narcissist to the girl, like girlfriend.

But I’ve never seen it like parent, like parent wise. And I am like, oh, well, nope, you’re, that’s it. You know?

Christa Innis: Yeah. And the fact that she instantly made it like victim mode where like you said, you don’t like me, so you’re terrible. Not like. Not understanding that like maybe someone doesn’t like you because of how you treat them.

Yes. Like she can’t look inward to be like, how have I treated ’em? Yes. And then for your dad to just go along with it and just be like, well, she said so I’m just gonna go with her. It’s like, this is your daughter and your daughter’s wedding. Like

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Yeah. I know. And he, I am convinced, he’s like brainwashed, I guess is the best word for it.

Um. I mean, like he, my, my husband always says too, like, he’s the one that has to live with her every day. And unfortunately, he’s probably picking his battles. Like, is he gonna go against his wife that he has to deal with every day? Who knows like, what she’s capable of? Yeah. Or is he gonna like side with his daughter who like, doesn’t see him like that often, you know?

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Sarah Wizeman: And so it’s really sad to say it like that, but he like had a point. I was like, yeah, that’s, that’s true. I guess, but not, yeah, it’s not either way. Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: It’s not great. It’s not okay either way. It’s right. I feel like it’s like, on the outside, it’s, it’s easier for, not easy, but like for us to look at it and be like, all right, I guess, you know, like that’s the situation, but, like if my, you know, partner was telling me, uh. That about my daughter or like, you know, I’d be like, excuse me. You know? Yeah. Like, um, yeah, I don’t know. I always, I always wonder about stories like that because I’m like, I’m like, it breaks my heart when you, when they like get, like you said, brainwashed by someone and it’s like, what does she have that’s so great that like, you can’t see like everybody else in front of you saying she’s the, she’s the problem over here.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, exactly. I, I really don’t know what it is other than the fact that like, when they first got together, like when my dad and her first got together, things were a little rough because like, my dad was actually in the middle of dating someone who had cancer and like, he didn’t want to like, she was like stage four and like he, like, he didn’t want to like.

I guess he was like a coward in that way. Like he didn’t wanna break it off with her. It’s like there’s so many, like there’s so many little stories to that that’s like a whole nother like hour. But basically like, I guess Elle had trust issues coming into that relationship because they got married so fast and she didn’t realize like everything that was going on.

And so like what I think is happening is that like he married her legally and like realized how like kind of crazy she is. And um, possibly like is scared that like she’ll take everything from him if he like divorces her and stuff like that. I’ve like thought about that. Like me and my uncles talk about like things like that, but I don’t know. I really, I don’t know why my dad, why my dad is like that at all.

Healing, Family Drama, and Finding Connection Through Storytelling

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. I guess we never really fully know or always know the full story, but Yeah. Wow. So that kind of inspired your first book or not inspired, that’s partially in your book, “invisible string?”

Sarah Wizeman: So I have two, so there’s two parts to it.

So this one that I showed earlier is my first book. This is the one like about like how my husband and I met each other and how like we’ve always been connected since we were little and we didn’t know it. Um, so this is more of like a feel good book. The second book I don’t have in here, but um, it’s the invisible string too, and that’s where like all the drama happens with my wedding.

So and this book and this book, I start, um, it’s like my journal entries and I start talking about wedding planning in this book and then it carries on to the second book where my actual wedding happens. And it’s like all the drama from that. So you can see like into my mind, my journal entries are in there of like when it happened and um, yeah.

And unfortunately my dad still hasn’t. Talk to like any of us. Like he cut off contact with me. My sister, um, my uncles, he cut off like everybody. And I’ve wrote him letters. I’ve, I’ve done a lot of healing. I’ve like debated the no contact thing for a while. And then, um, and then I, uh, decided, you know what?

I, I think talking is always the best. Communication’s, always the best communication is key. We wouldn’t be here, we wouldn’t be in this predicament if they just communicated with me and asked me like, did you say that? Or like, whatever.

Christa Innis: Right?

Sarah Wizeman: So I was like, you know what, I’m gonna do that. She wrote a letter, didn’t hear back, have called him, hasn’t haven’t heard back.

And so, yeah, I’m just like kind of on my own healing journey. I’ve been, I’ve been really in my healing journey this past year, but now it’s like getting to the point where it’s like, all right, you know. I’m, I’m good. I’m, I’m, I’m, I’m good now. Like I am, you know what, I’m no contact from his side, I guess. And, you know, it’s, he, it’s his loss at this point.

Christa Innis: You know?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah.

Christa Innis: So true. And it’s like, and it sounds like at least you have, um, like your son, like your uncle Matt and your sister and you know, and you, people around you that support you and love you and, and not saying any of that’s gonna fill a void or whatever, but I’m sure it’s like helping with the peace of like, okay, I have Uncle Matt who’s been a father figure my whole life.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah.

Christa Innis: And it really is your, your dad’s loss because that’s just, it’s disappointing on so many levels that someone can be brainwashed so easily and forget their family like that.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Yeah. And what is really like a positive experience out of this is that by sharing my story, and I did a whole skit on my book, I turned both of my books into skits, like long form skits.

Um. What’s really positive about it is like how many other people who like, have gone through the same thing and they are like, you really, you know, made light of something that I didn’t even know that was like, that was like an option that I could like do. Or, you know, like they didn’t feel alone. I keep getting messages like that.

I don’t feel alone in this. Like, I thought I was going crazy, but I’m not the only one. And it’s really nice to hear those messages that, you know, like my books have helped people and, and like they can relate to them. ’cause it makes me feel less alone too. Like, oh my gosh, I’m not the only one that goes through like tr like this traumatic stuff.

Like, especially during we, uh, like a wedding, you know, it’s, yeah. You know, it’s like, like I was like, the wedding for me was like such a big deal. Like I was so excited to plan my wedding and then like all of this happened and I, it was just like, it was like, okay, it was like kind of a wake up call for me.

’cause I was like, maybe I put too much like, um, what’s the word? Like expectations? Yeah. Yeah. On like, my wedding and like maybe that like, it allowed me to be grateful to be in like, the present moment and to really value like my actual friendships and the relationships that I did have. Like my, my bridesmaids who came to bat for me.

They were all there for me. Like, I may not have had a dad walk me down the aisle, but I had my uncle Matt and my girl show up for me. And that like, really like made me realize how grateful, um, I should be like for all of them and how thankful I am for all of them.

Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s like, I feel like we hear a lot of times like in these big events that, you know.

People show their true colors, right? And so, like, people that are jealous of you or people that have animosity towards you, it will show in these toxic, in these like 10 high tension moments, right? Mm-hmm. And so with them, yeah, it showed, it really showed, and they could not handle it. Mm-hmm. But everyone else, we don’t talk about enough about like, or it shows that it lifts people up and it shows like the positive people in your, and influences your life as well.

So I feel like, um, that’s something we were saying too before recording, is I feel like these stories allow people to connect and also like learn from them or mm-hmm. Um, see it from a different perspective. Like maybe, maybe the dad, a dad. And another story is watching your story and being like, oh my gosh, I was an idiot.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. I’m gonna go talk to my daughter. You know? So I, I was too, because I’ve had moms message me like, um, like mom’s, I should say. Like, that would be like my, my parents’ age. Um, grandmother’s. They’ll message me and they’ll be like, when I first saw your content, like some of it, like, not offended them, but they’d be like, oh, it made me like think a little bit.

And they’re like, but I’ve learned so much about like how to like communicate with my adult children and how to do this differently and how when I’m overstepping. And so like, like I’ve got like a heartfelt message that was like, thank you for that. And I was like, I never even realized that. So you could think maybe I’m helping another woman in this situation.

Or maybe like someone else is watching, being like, oh my gosh, I’m, I’m not gonna be the toxic stepmother. I wanna be more encouraging. You know? So yes, there’s a lot that could come from it.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. That is so true. I actually never thought of it that way. Like I never thought about that part of like someone who is like maybe the toxic mother-in-law or the toxic father or the bridezilla, like watching our skits and being like.

I just did that and maybe I need to change, like you’re totally right and I hope that that does happen. I would love to, I would love to hear stories like that actually, like where they’re like, oh, I realized that this happened and it made me be a better person.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I think so. Because I think it’s like, think about like when things happen in real life, you know, it’s so much more like nuanced, but you see something on tv.

Mm-hmm. And you’re like, oh my God, that’s outrageous. I would never do that. But then you like kind of like you can be like, oh, but you kinda like relate it to your own life. So I feel like if we’re able to like see it play out in a different way, we’re like, wait. Yeah. Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: Right. Yeah, I know. And I feel like.

I know like when you do your skits and when I do my skits, we like very, are like, we’re very much like with, very detailed with the dialogue and so like I feel I’ve gotten that comment before where people are like, oh my gosh, my mother-in-law or whoever has said like the same exact thing to me or something like that.

So it’s, it’s cool to like flip that around and being like, I wonder if people who are in those positions. Hear what we say in our skits and think I just said that exact same sentence, maybe I need to change kind of thing. So yeah, like, oh,

Christa Innis:  I didn’t realize that was so toxic to say.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah,

Christa Innis: Yeah.

I think there’s a lot of learning that comes out of the skits, like, oh yeah, for sure. Yeah. Oh yeah. I, I think so too. Thanks for sharing that. I know that was like, I’m sure that’s like a lot to like go through and retell, but I think that’s awesome. Yeah. Send me the links to your books too. We’ll talk about it after, but like, and we’ll, we’ll put the links to your books in the show notes.

Okay. Because I feel like, I feel like people, like listeners would love your book as well, because like, they love, like the, they love the romantic stories. They love like the drama. They love a good mix. So definitely share those with me. We’ll put them.

Sarah Wizeman: Okay. Yeah, absolutely.

Red Flags, Green Flags, and Wedding Chaos Decoded

Christa Innis: Um, okay, before we get to the submission.

Submission. This is the follower submission. Why am I saying that? Weird story submissions. Um, we’re do red flag, green flag. Are we, are you fine?

Sarah Wizeman: Oh, no, I’m good.

Christa Innis: Okay. Okay. Awesome. Um, okay, so this is Red flag versus green flag. Um, here we go. Okay. The groom’s sister demands to be a bridesmaid even though she constantly argues with the maid of honor.”

Sarah Wizeman: Ooh. Yeah. I would say that’s a red flag for sure.

Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s it.

Sarah Wizeman: Um, but like we were saying earlier. It’s like, there’s always two sides to every story. And this is like the stuff that I take, um, and I’m like, let’s think about it from both perspectives.

Like at first you present a skit to be like, um, the, the sister of the groom demands like to be a bridesmaid because, but like argues with the maid of honor. But then you show like the maid of honor, you show like the other side of like, what’s really going on and like maybe the maid of honor is like doing some evil stuff or whatever.

Some like, like, um, like how I would flip it would be like. Um, the sisters’, uh, the groom sister is actually trying to save the wedding because the maid of honor is trying to like, sabotage ITT or, or something like that. Yes.

Christa Innis: It’s all about like how you word it for No, totally. Yeah. I’ve even had skits where people like, hate one, one character at first, and I see their comments.

I’m like, oh, just wait. Just wait. They’re gonna find out. And then I’ll like completely twist it and they’re like, wait, what? Oh my gosh. I thought I liked, you know, um, because I’m just like, you never know from, Look. Yes. Oh my gosh, that’s so funny.

Um, okay. “A bridesmaid insists on bringing her toddler to every pre-wedding event, even though the bride said ‘No kids.’”

Sarah Wizeman: Red flag.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like we said earlier, it’s like, if it’s like a one off thing, like, oh, I mm-hmm. Sit or canceled or whatever, I’d be like, yeah, that’s fine. Like my, I think my baby shower and bridal shower, I kids or whoever wanted to bring their kitchen to come of course, but mm-hmm. Yeah. Every wedding event, and they’re like, oh, can’t, they’re gonna, they’re just coming with me. It’s like, okay. Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Especially if it’s every, every time like, oh, like disregarding the bride’s feelings for everything. I’m just gonna bring them because I didn’t plan ahead, or whatever. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: Exactly.

Christa Innis: The, um, “the maid of honor gives a 10 minute speech that turns into a story about her breakup and how she learned to love again.”

Sarah Wizeman: Oh, red flag. Oh gosh.

Christa Innis: Like no mattered way. What way You look at that, that’s a red flag.

Sarah Wizeman: 10 minute speech. Red flag. No, I’m just kidding. My sister actually gave like a 10 minute speech. It wasn’t that like that, it wasn’t like that. But she gave me, she gave a 10 minute speech that was like, um, talking about all of our like memories and stuff at the wedding.

I think she, she did that because like she added on more after like, the whole thing blew up. So she was like, let’s make this like a good vibe. Like remember all the good memories kind of thing.

Christa Innis: Yes. No, that’s good. That’s, you have to sometimes, like, you need someone like that that’s gonna like really like think on their feet and like flip their vibe completely.

Right. Um, yeah, I’ve, I’ve definitely heard of a few like situations like that.

Um, okay, last one. “The photographer rearranges the entire timeline because they know what works best for lighting.” 

Sarah Wizeman: Oh. I would say red flag at first. Yeah. Yeah. Red flag probably. But yeah, red flag. ’cause they, I mean I, I’m thinking about like putting the time into like my timeline and I’m like, if anybody changed that, I would be so upset. So, yeah, red flag.

Christa Innis: See, I cares about the lighting. I have a weird, like, per perspective on this one is because, okay. My photographer did my timeline, so before the wedding, oh. Like I could finalize some stuff, but like, we did, like, my photographer was like amazing. I don’t even know if photographers did this, but we sat on the call for probably like two hours, an hour and a half, putting the whole timeline together.

And she’s like, okay, these photos, if your wedding’s at, I think it was like we had an early wedding, three 30 or four 30, I think four 30. She was like, then we should do photos here. Your couple’s photos here. If we want nighttime photos, they should be here. So like, we kind like planned around it. Oh, okay.

But, um, so yeah, I was like, so she. If she moved it, I’d be like, okay, you know? You know what you’re doing. Yeah. Okay.

Sarah Wizeman: Okay. Yeah, see that would be the, yeah, that would be green flag that would like that whole thing. That’s like really awesome that your photographer did that. That’s amazing.

Christa Innis: I know. I don’t know if that’s, yeah, I don’t think that’s typical, but she was like, I always get together with my bride and groom like the week before and we just go over the full timeline and she like sent it to, she typed it as we were like talking and she sent the whole thing over to us, so then I just kinda like updated from my brides and bridesmaids and groom went and sent it out, so. Oh, okay. Yeah. That’s awesome. That’s really cool.

All right, let’s get to this week’s story submission. I’m a little raspy today, so bear with me.

Sarah Wizeman: Oh yeah, I understand. I don’t know. Where are you from Christa?

Christa Innis: I’m from Chicago Suburbs, but I live in Wisconsin now, so. Oh, okay. Yeah. Snow lots. Lots of snow. Yeah.

Yeah, so it’s just been like, we got what? I don’t even know. Like 10 inches maybe over the weekend. Oh, okay. So it was like, it was like a blizzard.

Sarah Wizeman: Yes. I live in upstate New York. Right. Like two hours from Canada, so, um, yeah, snow here too. So, and I woke up this morning, I was like, oh my gosh, I hope this clears up before the podcast.

Christa Innis: I know. Plus I feel like, I dunno if you feel the same way, like you’re just like, with filming and all that stuff, you’re just talking all the time. Mm-hmm. So there’s some days, like I’ve lost my voice more in the last couple years than I think I ever have. Mm-hmm. Because it’s just like recording podcasts.

I do YouTube and then skits. I’m just like, okay, I need to drink tea. Yeah. Yeah. So there’s always that desire. ’cause like, I’ll be like, okay, I’m not gonna do a skit today. Like, I need to take the day off and I’ll just post like for the podcast and then I’m like, oh, they really want the next part. I’m like, I don’t wanna let them down.

Okay. I’ll film the skit and then my husband will be like, rest your voice. I’m like, I gotta get it done. Yes. Like always back here. Like, do it, do it.

Sarah Wizeman: I can relate. Yep.

No Kids, No Compromise: When Wedding Entitlement Gets Real

Christa Innis: Anyway, um, okay, here we go. Love your videos. I’m happy to share my own crazy wedding story from 2021. Feel free to use it however you’d like.

“My husband and I were supposed to get married in 2020, but obviously the Global Pandemic had other plans. We ended up getting married at the courthouse that year and rescheduled our full wedding celebration for the following summer. Since we’d already made deposits and everything, we crossed our fingers that we’d actually be able to have it in July, 2021.

By April, we were still hoping, holding out that hope. The governor finally started reopening things, allowing events again, but only at half capacity. Venues could even be shut down if they went over. We had already planned for an intimate wedding. Our original venue capacity was 84, so they reduced the number to 42, which included us. That meant that we had 40 guest spots total, so we had to be strict about it. Originally, our guest list had 50 people, so we had to make some tough cuts. We did get to invite many friends, but it was mostly entirely family. It was almost entirely family. After days of pouring over the list, we finally narrowed it down.

While working on that list, I messaged my sister for contact. She lives outta state and had been dating a guy with a younger daughter for about six months. When we got engaged, she’d asked early on if he could come, and since that was pre-pandemic, I’d said, sure, no problem. Oh, here we go.

Sarah Wizeman: Yep. Here comes the drama.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Here comes the drama. Okay. When it co, when it came time to trim the list, I checked with her to see if he was still planning to come. I’d never even met him, but if she wanted to bring him, I would’ve kept his spot. It just would’ve been an easy cut otherwise. She said he was still coming and then asked if his daughter Violet could come too.

Ah, okay. We’d already decided on a no kids rule except for my husband’s niece and nephew. Funny how we were just talking about this.

Sarah Wizeman: Yes.

Christa Innis: Who were a part of the wedding party. So I told her Violet couldn’t come and suggested that Violet’s mom could keep her during the trip, my sister immediately freaked out saying, if Violet couldn’t come, she wouldn’t come either.

If your boyfriend’s daughter can’t come, the boyfriend that’s never met your sister, you’re not gonna come. That’s wild to me.

Sarah Wizeman: That that is crazy. Yeah. What, you’re not, all right, uh uh.

Christa Innis: And also to not like talking about communication. Not even being like, okay, you know what? Let me talk to him first and let’s see if the, if his ex-wife or whatever can watch the daughter.

Yes. Just immediately freaking out.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, immediately. Like not even like, like we were talking about communication,

Christa Innis: right? Like Yeah. Oh my gosh. Okay. It was something different where like she lived in state and she’d met this little girl many times and she’s like, okay, she’s kind of like a niece. Let’s have her too.

But like, she’s never met her. Right. So it also would probably be easier for her to, I mean, I don’t know the ex’s situation, but Right. You know? Oh my gosh. Yeah. Wow. Okay. Um, all right.

“Honestly, I didn’t care whether my sister came or not. That was her choice, but I knew my mom would take her side as always, and of course she did.

When I told my mom who was paying for the venue, she freaked out too and told me I needed to figure out a way to make it work, because that’s your sister’s family. Nevermind. I didn’t even know this kid or her dad, and that we were already struggling to fit everyone in still. I told her I would look into it.

We went back over the list and there was just no way to make it work without cutting close friends or choosing between cousins in the same family. So I told both my mom and my sister that we couldn’t justify adding Violet. I also said that once we got RSVPs, if anyone declined, we’d probably have the space.” Which I feel like that’s a good response, right?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, that that’s a good like backup plan. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. “That wasn’t good enough. My mom threatened to pull out of the wedding completely. No payment, no attendance over this.” Now, the mom,

Sarah Wizeman: The mom, the mom!? What? Did it say if the mom knew the daughter?  

Christa Innis: So far it did not say no. But she keeps referring to it as her family. 

Sarah Wizeman: Okay.

Christa Innis: So I don’t know if they’re like all like, let’s see. So it sounds like. 2020 when they originally got engaged, or 2019 when they originally got engaged Uhhuh. So she’s been with this guy for maybe a year and a half, two years by this point. I don’t know.

Sarah Wizeman: Oh my gosh. What?

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. “My sister accused me of playing favorites because we made exceptions to the two kids in the wedding party.

That’s pretty normal though.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. What!?

Christa Innis: “Then she told me I was dead to her. At that point, I’d had enough. I told her that was her choice and she could consider her invitation revoked.”

Sarah Wizeman: Oh God. Uninvited.

Christa Innis: Oh my God. Yeah. You’re, you’re done

Sarah Wizeman: Uninvited.

Christa Innis: But you gotta kind of like, not saying I support, like being like, you’re done. But I’m like, you gotta kind of like applaud her for being like, be like, okay, well you wanna play two can play that game. Because I think, I think half the time when people threaten things like that, they would just want you to change it. Like they don’t, they’re not gonna actually follow through.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah.

Christa Innis: They want you to, they wanna get their way.

Sarah Wizeman: Yes, a hundred percent. I will back you up on that one. Yeah. I’ve seen it happen so many times.

Christa Innis: Have you? Yeah. I just, I feel like there’s so many empty, like, threats out there. ’cause they just, they know they can take advantage of someone.

They’re like, if you don’t do this, I’m gonna do this. So they’re like, they’re like, I just don’t wanna even risk the chance of that happening, you know?

Sarah Wizeman: Right.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. “Cue my mom’s next meltdown. My sister had always been the favorite and this just proved it again in the end. My sister didn’t come to the wedding.

My mom eventually gave in at the last minute. One of my aunts also took my sister’s side and didn’t attend though, to be fair. I think it had more to do with her finding out my uncle was cheating than our own drama.” Okay. Whoa. I think that was separate. Okay. “That’s another, another thing. Once those people took themselves off the list, I actually got to invite a few people we wanted there.

Oh. And as a cherry on top, my mom also tried to get me to cut my stepmom’s parents, even though they’d been in my life for 20 years and were helping pay for the wedding. Obviously I refuse.” I don’t get the whole like telling someone, you have to uninvite or invite someone to the wedding. It’s like, that’s not how it works. It’s not your day.

Sarah Wizeman: No. It’s not your day at all. And also, like of course, the mother would target the stepmother’s family, like I feel like there might be some jealousy or animosity there or something.

Christa Innis: Story, she’s story like by her parents. It’s like, if they’ve been in her life as grandparents for 20 years, I think it’s acceptable.

Right? Oh my God. What? That’s s so of course the mom was never, the mom was always gonna show up, I feel like.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. I mean, unless you’re my dad, why are, how are you gonna, how are you gonna miss your daughter’s wedding? You know? Yes. Like that’s,

Christa Innis: And now to be like, put this wedge even more between the sisters, because it sounds like they’re already kind of like far apart, like they live in different states, but like the fact that they’re, I don’t know.

It’s, yeah. Um, so she says, “for weeks afterward, my mom kept pushing me to apologize to my sister, even though I’d done nothing wrong. I told her I wouldn’t and that my sister actually owed me an apology. We didn’t speak for months after the wedding. And even now, four years later, we barely talk. So yeah, that’s my story. Use it, tweak it, or do whatever you want with it.” 

Sarah Wizeman: Oh, oh my gosh. That’s that. Oh, man. So did, did she mean her and her sister barely talk?

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. That’s, that’s really sad. Like we’re talking about like looking at both perspectives, right? And so like, I could see, like, I could see where the other sister would be hurt.

’cause like, let’s say she’s been living with this guy now, what did she say? She met him in? It had to be, um, they had, let’s see, it was pre-pandemic. When she’d asked early on. So it would’ve been like 20, yeah. 2019. 2019, right. Yeah. So at this point they’d been together, let’s say at mo at the very most, it would be two years.

Okay. But probably not even, maybe a year and a half. Yeah. Um, so for the sister, like she’s been living this with this guy for a year. Maybe the daughter comes every other week. Maybe she like, takes care of the daughter mostly. We don’t know. Yeah. Um, so I could get feeling hurt for sure. Like if you’re like, this is my family, family.

This is my almost stepdaughter and my boyfriend of two years. But to make that be like, what you’re gonna, the hill you’re gonna die on?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Right. Of course it would be easier for her just to like invite, but I don’t know. It’s, yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: I know, it makes me wonder if like she and her sister have like some sort of back history of like just sibling rival rivalry kind of thing going on too.

Like maybe, I don’t know. That’s, that’s how I think with the whole skits thing, but um, yeah, I, that would not be the hill that I would wanna die on. Me and my sister, we are best friends, but we also are, are like tough critics too. So like, you know, we’ve had a little bit of sibling rivalry going on, but I would never like ever not show up to her wedding if she told me that I couldn’t bring my significant other or my child. Mm-hmm. Actually, my, so Amanda, the girl I was talking about, my bridesmaid, she’s more of like a sister to me, and she had her wedding during the pandemic, and she asked me to, um, come by myself without my, um, he was my fiance at the time.

Mm-hmm. Um, and, or no, he was just my boyfriend at the time, actually. But I, I was like, of course, that’s no problem. Like, you know, like, I’m gonna be there for you. I understand because of what’s going on. I know you would have him there if it wasn’t the restrictions. I know it’s outta your control, so. Yeah.

Um, but yeah, I would not choose that as my hill to die on.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like, I’m even thinking like, let’s say like my cousin who’s like a sister to me, like she lives in another state, let’s say. Like she’s getting married and was like, we’re not doing any kids, so your daughter can’t come. I don’t think I’d be offended by that.

Mm-hmm. Like my blood daughter, I would be like, okay, either I can make it work with a babysitter or I can’t, and be, I either fly with someone to watch her in the hotel room or I can’t make it work. I wouldn’t be like, oh my gosh, how, how dare you like not invite her. Do you hate her? Like, ’cause it’s not that personal.

Yeah. Like it’s not personal. There’s just some places that I feel like aren’t meant for kids sometimes. Yeah. People just don’t want that vibe and, and that’s okay. Like when people get up in arms in the comments about it, they’re like, oh, well, wedding’s a family event. And I’m like, sure. But it’s also a party.

Yeah. It’s alcohol. Mm-hmm. I mean, so it’s teach their own, like, you wouldn’t bring your child into an R-rated movie. You wouldn’t bring your child to like a nightclub or, you know, like there’s, there’s certain places and if that’s the vibe you want for your wedding, you, that’s the beauty of it. You get to pick what vibe you want and um, but yeah, it’s like you can’t be like up in arms about. Or mad at the bride for wanting it a certain way, you know?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, exact. Exactly. Like whatever the bride wants. I, I, that’s like kind of been my motto is like, whatever the bride wants, like, is like what you respect, I guess, or I, I shouldn’t even say the bride is the couples that make those decisions together too.

Mm-hmm. And so whatever they want, like respect that. Obviously crazy. I’ve seen crazy things happen, but I’m talking about like the people who are like, like the no kid weddings or like mm-hmm. You know, um, other decisions that they make. Like I’ve seen like the dry weddings as well. Like we kind of  that’s a whole, like controversy as well too. So Yeah. If you want to support them, respect their wishes, uh, otherwise like just say no thank you to the invite, I guess. Yeah, that would be, that’s like kind of like what my motto would be for that.

Christa Innis: Right. Because yeah, again, it’s like the entitlement because like, she didn’t even try to like. See if they could find someone to watch the child or like, how about we all fly together and then he just stays back with her while go to the wedding. You know, like, yeah. It was anything like that. It was just freaking out on the bride immediately. Yes. And making it her problem. Change your rules for your wedding. ’cause I’m bringing,

and like that’s, that doesn’t sit right, right with me because I’m just like, there could have been so many other ways to go about it. Like if she was like, Hey, actually, like he has sole custody and we, you know, can’t rely on the mom. Okay, well how about you come here and she can come to this, you know, like you can like, communicate through things.

Like, it’s just demanding. I don’t like. 

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, a hundred percent. Like if she would’ve, instead of texted back the demand or like the, the awful things she could have said, Hey, like, let me talk to him and see like what options we have. Do you have any other options on your end? Like, could you go to the venue and say, Hey, is there like, like something that we could do?

Like, could we. I, I don’t even know what the, ’cause that was like a mandatory, like mandate, but, um, I’m just like thinking like, is there something that she could do on her end? Like, you know? Right. Like, it’s like you were talking about, it’s just like all about communication and Yeah. When you come at someone and just like, start yelling like that doesn’t, that doesn’t end well for anybody.

Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. That just starts off all on the bad foot.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Well, that was a, a wild story. All right. Yes. There’s no listening what you, what you think about that.

Wedding Confessions: Toxic Moms, Sibling Drama & Vendor Chaos

All right. I always like to end these episodes with some confessions people send me. They all have to do with weddings and stuff, so, oh, okay. Here we go.

All right. Um, let me check my eyesight here. Okay, here we go. Um, people will send me these on Instagram, so here we go.

Um, “moved across the country hoping it will help my husband limit contact with his toxic mom.”

Sarah Wizeman: Oh.

Christa Innis: Keep us posted on how that’s going.

Sarah Wizeman: Okay. Yes, exactly. Oh my goodness. Um, I hope, I hope that, I hope that the toxic mom is not gonna follow you there. That’s like, like what I think of, I’m like, I hope they don’t gonna move  there.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. And I feel like at the end of the day too, it has to be him that limits the toxic mom.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Like block or block, um, not answer certain calls or talk to her? It’s not, yeah. Um, this says, “currently terrified that my brother and sister-in-law will announce their pregnancy at my wedding.”

Would that terrify you if someone were to announce their pregnancy?

Sarah Wizeman: Um, no. Um, that would not actually, I would be, I would be the one to be like super happy, especially if like they’ve been like waiting for it for a while, like. That would be just me though. Like that wouldn’t bother me. An engagement on the other hand, I think would bother me a little bit more than a pregnancy announcement.

Christa Innis: Proposal at your wedding?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, that’s what I meant. Proposal. Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: I mean, I feel like it’s like, depends on like how they would do it. If they like, were just like, Hey, you wanna let you know? I’d be like, I’d so happy for you. That’s awesome. If they were like in a speech, just so you know, we’re having a baby. It’s all about That’s true about relationships and I think like how you go about it.

Yeah. Because I did get a story sent to me once where, um, the whole like. Engagement. It was like a one upper kind of thing, right? With the two siblings. And the mom wanted to do a grand gender reveal at the wedding and they were like, no, like they wanted like balloons and like, and then they saw, and one of the bridesmaids saw the mom loading boxes of balloons into the car.

And they were like, these are staying out here. And then they like did a big thing at their table. Like she would not say no. She wanted her moment of like announcing that she was gonna be a grandma at the wedding.

Sarah Wizeman: That’s like a, um, a Madison Humphrey, like I can see Madison Humphrey. And being like, oh my gosh.

Wow. Yeah, I can, yeah, that’s on hand. Yeah, no, I was thinking like, it would be more of like, um, like they would be like over in the corner, like at the bar or whatever, and being like, just let you guys know we are pregnant. Like, kind of like talking to their family. Not like a whole shebang, balloons and stuff. Holy cow.

Christa Innis: Right. Yeah. Oh my gosh. So I wonder if like, this girl has like a hint that something big is gonna happen or I don’t know. Mm-hmm. Good luck, girl. Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: Let her know. Let us know or let Christa know what happened. Yes. Let us

Christa Innis: know. Um, okay. This last one says, “sister-in-law to the bride called the pastor and said he shouldn’t marry the couple.” Yikes. Why are we doing that?

Sarah Wizeman: The sister-in-law called the pastor and told him that they shouldn’t, he shouldn’t marry them.

Christa Innis: Uhhuh.

Sarah Wizeman: What? Wait, is the confession? Confession is coming from the bride or the sister?

Christa Innis: No, it just  says, it’s just says the si The bride’s sister-in-law called the pastor. So I wonder if it’s just like things that people like.

Sarah Wizeman: Okay.

Christa Innis: That’s why.

Sarah Wizeman: Wow. That is, that’s, I wonder why, I wonder what provoked that. I, I feel like maybe infidelity, uh, I don’t know. Or just doesn’t like her. Yeah. Or yeah, like the cattiness of it. I’m so nice.

Christa Innis: I just heard a story where a sister-in-law tried, um, canceling the bride’s dress like she called the bridal shop.

And pretended to be the bride and said, we will no longer need your services. And she went around and canceled vendors and venues.

Sarah Wizeman: I did a skit like that once. I can’t remember the actual details, but I remember like the mother-in-law calls in and like cancels, um, cancels a bunch of different things and then they show up and nothing is there.

So. That’s, I feel like that’s like a popular thing. Um, oh my God. Like that. I’m, he, I like hear it all. I hear about that a lot. Like people like, ’cause that’s why, um, like, uh, the vendors have to have a code now. Like, so like when you call in, like they have to make like a special code, um, before you can like, cancel anything because like they’ve had problems with like, people calling in and like changing stuff or canceling it.

Um, that weren’t supposed to.

Christa Innis: That’s why I know. I never knew that was a thing until people started sending me stories and they were like, yeah, my mother-in-law tried changing everything at our venue. And I’m like, what? Why do people, people do that? Like, this is really making these skits. I’ve really learned a lot about how crazy some people are.

Sarah Wizeman: I know, I’m, I agree with you. ’cause I’m like, wait, she did what? I have to act that out, you know, kind of thing. Like, oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. That’s so funny.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Well, thank you so much for coming on. This was so fun hanging out with you. Oh

Sarah Wizeman: gosh. Absolutely. Thank you for having me. I was so excited to be on.

It was so fun to talk about all the different stories and stuff, so thank you for having me on.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And thank you for sharing your story. I know that was a lot probably to dive back into, but, um, can you, for everyone listening, can you share again, like where they can find all your content, your, like your social handles, your book name, and anything else fun you’re working on?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Um, so my book name is The Invisible String. I think it might be backwards, but in the invisible string. No, it’s, it’s forward to me. Oh, it’s okay. Cool. Yeah. Um, you can find it on Amazon. Um, and then all my handles are just @Sarah Wizeman for any of my social media. I’m on TikTok and YouTube. Um, I don’t really go on Instagram that much.

It’s just like, it’s like comp too complicated for me, for Instagram for sure. But yeah. And, um, yeah, I’m coming out with, so I’ve like challenged myself to kind of release like a new book every, like, on YouTube is more like my, like longer stories where TikTok is like my short like bridal stories and like crazy skits.

Um, so I’ve challenged myself to like publish a book every month, um, and then like kind of month act it every month. Yeah. Act it out on Go girl. It probably won’t be as big as this. Not that this is big, but it like, probably will be like short stories kind of thing. But, um. Right now I’m working on one ’cause I work, I help my, one of my best friends who was a bridesmaid of mine, she owns a Christmas tree farm and it is so fun to work with her at the Christmas Tree Farm.

So the next book I’m gonna be publishing here soon is actually like a Christmas tree farm story, so…

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Like Hallmark story.

Sarah Wizeman:  Yes, yes. I’m so excited about it. So, and then I’ll act it out and like post it on YouTube and kind of do that like monthly over there. But TikTok will basically stay like the plot twist crazy wedding stuff and like romance, like I usually like romance, uh, crazy relationship stuff, all that.

Christa Innis: I love that. That’s so smart. That’s such a smart way and fun way to like market your books too and get people. Yeah. Yeah. All right, well thank you so much. We’ll put all the links to all your books and everything in the show notes as well.

Sarah Wizeman:  Okay. Thank you, Christa!


Rogue Maid of Honor, a Stolen $2,000 Veil, and DIY Wedding Confessions

“How does a seven-day wedding turn into disappearing bridesmaids, stolen wedding items, and a maid of honor who controls everything?”

This week, I reflect on the fast pace of life in 2026 and share my personal goal for the year: finding pockets of presence amidst the chaos. Also, this week’s story is pure chaos: a wedding planned in one impossibly long week, a maid of honor sabotaging dresses, crushes, timelines, and even the bride’s veil, plus last-minute drama that left everyone questioning why she was chosen at all. In this episode, I break down the red flags, the boundaries, and why wedding parties should not be unpaid labor.

Plus! New Year Giveaway: Win 1 of 4 $50 Amazon gift cards! Share a photo or screenshot of you listening, tag me @heychristainnis, and you’re entered. Winners will be announced on February 12!

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Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • A Wedding Planned in Seven Days – The couple caves to outside pressure and plans a full wedding in one impossibly chaotic week.
  • The Maid of Honor’s Jealous Control – Emily dictates outfits, decisions, and even the wedding party lineup, manipulating the bride at every turn.
  • Drama at Hair & Makeup – Emily confronts the bridesmaids, accuses them of betrayal, and storms off with half the bridal party.
  • Addiction Secrets Revealed – A bridesmaid confides Emily’s struggles to the bride, igniting emotional fallout at the worst possible moment.
  • Stolen Luxury Items – From shoplifting expensive décor to gifting a stolen $2,000 veil, the maid of honor’s behavior escalates fast.
  • Setup Chaos & Missing Support – The bride is forced to hammer tent stakes and manage heavy labor while her wedding party disappears.
  • Crush Drama & Vanishing Acts – Emily leaves the wedding to chase her crush—while also flirting with the bridesmaid’s crush out of pure chaos.
  • Lice, Lies, and Last-Minute Regrets – The bridesmaid catches lice from Emily twice, and the bride later admits she wishes she’d chosen a different maid of honor.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  • “How long is this week? This is the longest week I’ve ever heard of.” – Christa Innis
  • “We cannot assume that being in your wedding party means unpaid labor.” – Christa Innis
  • “Keep the bride out of the drama—especially the week of the wedding.” – Christa Innis
  • “At some point, we have to take responsibility for ourselves.” – Christa Innis
  • “If you’re planning a wedding in seven days, keep it stupid simple.” – Christa Innis

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

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Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis, and it is officially 2026, which is wild to think about. I feel like every year goes faster and faster the older I get, and especially with being a mom now. Well. Almost going on three years. Um, I feel like it goes even faster.

And it’s just, it’s unfair how, uh, they always say time is a thief and I didn’t really believe it. And then I got older and I had my daughter and I’m like, oh my gosh, where does the time go? So I feel like even more so, I’ve become more of a planner because I’m like, if I don’t plan things, like I lose track of time and it just gets like taken from me.

It’s like the beginning of the summer, my husband and I had all these plans for our daughter. Like, we’re like, okay, we wanna go take her to the beach, we wanna take her to this museum. And we’re like, oh, we have so much time. And then all of a sudden you like realize, you’re like, I have a week left. Um, and so I feel like I’ve become more of a planner, which is great in some ways.

But one of the things I really struggle with is then being fully present, because you’re always thinking of the next thing. And I don’t know if that comes with like the mental load of motherhood or parenthood, but it’s like I’m always thinking about what’s next. Like I plan things out when it comes to my social media content.

I plan things out when it comes to, uh, family activities, what we’re doing in the next week, and it just makes everything move so fast. So. My goal for this year, and maybe you guys can relate to this or not, but uh, my goal for this year is to find more pockets of presence. And I’m kind of like talking through it as I’m figuring it out, but just those moments of quiet to just be still and really like soak in everything that’s happening.

And I think I brought this up before where it’s like, um, you, we tend to dwell when things aren’t going great and we just wanna get through them, right? But when things are going well, we don’t take a moment to just like soak it in and be like, wow, this is awesome. Or Wow, how am I feeling about this? Um, so I feel like it’s good just to account our emotions and how we’re feeling about things.Um, I feel like a therapist right now. Um, this is like, these are the things that go through my head is just kinda like bounces all over the place.

Small Pockets of Happiness and Personal Growth

Um, anyway, I had notes for today, but I’m just kinda like going off on a whim. I kind of talked about last week how I’m not really a New Year’s resolution type person.

I love goals and I love, you know, the idea of a resolution, but I don’t think it has to be necessarily the, in the new year, I think everyone has their kind of their. Personal best times to set goals, whether that’s your birthday month, your, um, you know, the new year or, um, the next week. You know, some people just have to like do what works best for ’em, right?

I’m someone that always sets weekly goals, monthly goals, and I just. I’m always, like I said, always thinking about the next thing. But there’s something fun and exciting about a fresh year. Um, like, I’m gonna get a little boo here, so just bear with me. But I just love the idea of like a clean slate, trying something new, setting a goal of like, something that’s like kind of wild and being like, oh, you know, I’ve never done this before.

Let’s try it this year. Maybe I’ll fail. Maybe I’ll love it. Maybe I’ll hate it. You know? Um, I think like when we’re really young, we’re encouraged to try all these different things. And then we get to a point, and maybe it’s like teenage years or young adulthood, like twenties, where we’re like, this is who I am.

I just have to check the boxes. I can’t all of a sudden be that person because I’m, I’m a poser then, or I’m, you know, we get all these ideas in our head of like, we can’t go a different direction. Right? And so when I was like 25. Gosh, I don’t even remember the age. I wanna say like 20, maybe 26, 27. I was at this really toxic job and I was just looking for an out, like the beginning.

I was just running through the emotion, the emotions I’d wake up at like the last minute that I had to, to rush around and get ready. I was always late for work. I hated being there. So like miserable there. The boss was so toxic. I would come home crying every day. It was just awful, right? And I was like, there’s gotta be more, like there’s gotta be something else.

I know this is not what I’m meant to do. And it started by like finding some, like more like encouraging podcasts. And then I read a book called Better Than Before, and this book I had had on my shelf for so long. It’s not like a promoted thing or anything. I’m just trying to share some encouragement in the new year.

I had this book book on my shelf for so long, and I was like, I just wanna read it. I wanna read this book. And I kept finding excuses to not read this book. And I would always just tell people, oh, I’m not a reader. I’m not a reader. Like I, I only, you know, read here and there, right? And one day I was like, I’m gonna read this book.

This is my goal to read this book. I’m gonna read it. And it started off talking about how this guy wanted to wake up earlier and he just started slowly, like waking up 15 minute increments earlier and earlier. And I started doing that and then before I knew it, this is gonna sound crazy to a lot of people out there, um, but I would just wake up at five 30 for joy.

It, it completely changed my days and again, this is a while ago. I don’t do that now, so I’m not like trying to say like, and be like me ’cause I don’t, I don’t do that completely anymore. But I would wake up five 30 or six and I would just read. And having that control in the morning made me realize like, I can do so much more with my time.

That brings me joy. And I think it’s really important to listen to that voice. ’cause I think so many times we just move through the motions and we don’t really ask ourselves like, do I do something to bring my joy today? What do I feel today? And if your whole day is spent, you know, like struggling or unhappy, we just go through the motions and we’re never actually fulfilling something in us.

I know that was like a long spiel, so I hope I didn’t lose you guys on that. But what I’m trying to say is I’m just gonna encourage you, like, if there’s something that’s been weighing on you or something you’re like, I wanna try that. Or, when I was 10 years old, I love drawing. I don’t draw anymore. Pick it up and just try it.

Buy a, buy an adult coloring book, get some markers. Um, you don’t to spend a lot of money. You can spend $2 at the, at the Dollar store. You know, find something that brings you joy this year and, and it sounds kind of crazy and woo woo, but. Even finding 30 minute pockets out of the day to just do something that brings you joy can completely change your day.

Again, I know that was like a long spiel and not how I normally start these, but I’m just feeling, I’m recording this before the new year, but I’m just feeling very hopeful and excited about the new year, and if I can spread a little encouragement to those out there that are struggling or just feel a little hopeless, I know there’s a lot of things that aren’t great in the world right now and.

What’s, you know, on our political climate and all that. Um, not to get into politics, but you know, there’s a lot that’s not great and there’s a lot of change I wish to see. Um, but I think if we can, you know, find joy in like little pockets of our day, I think it will make a difference. And then we can kind of reach out and fill other people’s cups too. Anyway, that was a long spiel. I’m sorry guys. I hope that was okay. Um, so I hope that. That helped someone out there.

Um, before I get to today’s episode, just for a little quick reminder to do my new year giveaway, um, I’m giving away four $50 Amazon gift cards. All you have to do is share a photo of yourself listening to the podcast, a screenshot of your phone listening, a screenshot of your review, and then tag me on social media tag hey christainnis and that’s it. So I will select four winners. The winners will be announced February 12th episode.

Wedding Dilemmas: Navigating Registry Drama & Friend Photographers

All right. Next up we are going to do wedding dilemmas. Um, you guys sent me these in. That was a weird way to say that. You guys sent me these in. Um, so let’s see what we got here.

Okay, this first one says, “my fiance’s aunt told me that our registry is rude because we included higher price items. She said, it makes us look greedy. I’m embarrassed, but also annoyed ’cause it’s a registry, not a demand list. Here’s the thing about registries that I find so interesting. People have so many opinions about them. Um, I remember talking to friends years before I was even engaged and. The, the thing they say to do is put anything and everything on there.

There are gonna be some people that can only afford or want to spend under 50 bucks. There are gonna be some people that have a higher price point and they want to buy something really nice for a couple hundred bucks. There’s no expectations. Um, I’ve never looked at someone’s registry and been offended by it because I’m like, I know either that’s outta my price range, or they’ll get that from their parents or.

I’d rather get them blank, you know? Um, so if she’s gonna, I think it’s kind of rude for her to tell you that your registry is rude. She doesn’t need to, you know, pay for that. I think it’s maybe her feeling a little offended, or, I don’t know, maybe her own, maybe she didn’t have a registry. So she just thinks in general they’re selfish.

Um. I also find it’s interesting, and this is like a hill I will die on. I think it’s interesting when people get so mad about like the honeymoon registry, because I’m like, whether I put plates or bedsheets or, um, a new, a new couch on my registry. That money or however you spend that money is coming to me.

So if I decide to return those sheets and I use those $50 towards dinner on my honeymoon, why does it matter? And if you, and I think I, it was Suzanne Lambert that was in the podcast that was like, and if you care about that person, it shouldn’t matter what they use the money for. People still get up in arms in it.

I posted a thing recently about honeymoons and someone was like, I’m not paying for someone’s honeymoon. And it’s like, you’re not paying for it. Like if it’s a honeymoon registry, it’s usually alongside of a wedding registry. So it’s not like you’re buying them a wedding gift and a honeymoon thing. It’s, you can pick and choose.

Um, like a lot of my friends already lived with their partners, had all the pots and pans and all that stuff. So they didn’t need extra pots and pans that they weren’t going to use. Right? So for those people I was like, oh, I would love to buy you dinner and drinks on the beach. I would love to buy you your plane ticket.

You know, whatever that was. Um, and that was kind of a, kind of a cool thing. Maybe it’s just ’cause it’s like a newer thing, but whatever. I wanna let your fiance’s aunt’s comments get to you. Just let him roll off. Be like, you know what, aunt Susie, thank you for your feedback. Um, you don’t need to get us anything. It’s not a big deal. We just kind of wanna put a couple different price ranges on there and if you wanna get us something you can, but no pressure.

Okay, next one. Oh gosh, “my friend offered to do our wedding photos as a gift. But her work is not good. I don’t know how to decline without hurting her feelings or ruining the friendship.”

I have talked about this so many times, and this is something I’m so passionate about. It doesn’t matter if her work is good or not, because either way, I wouldn’t mention that to her, her quality of work. Right. I would just say, especially if it’s gonna be someone you want there as a guest. Say thank you so much for offering.

I really, really appreciate it. However, I just want you there as a guest. I want you there fully immersed in the guest experience, hanging out with us on the dance floor, taking advantage of the open bar, um, being with us for photos, whatever that looks like. Instead of it, if she keeps pushing, just. You gotta repeat and just say, Hey, you know what?

We actually already found a photographer. If someone like that is already is offended that you found a different photographer, they’re not in it for the right reasons anyway, because they’re either looking for more business like they wanna be paid or they want other people to miss their business and that’s not really a good friend anyways.

So, um, just be clear and upfront. It doesn’t matter again if it works good or not. I personally think like a vendor like that. If they’re your friend, you want them there as a guest. Right. Obviously there’s some like vendors, like for instance, I had my sister-in-law make our cake. That’s something where like, she was still a bridesmaid.

So she was a bridesmaid. She could make the cake and she could put the cake, like she didn’t need to like be a part of the cake the whole time. You know what I mean? Like a DJ or a, um, a photographer, a videographer. Those kind of vendors, they need to be their job the whole night. So this friend, if she’s a photographer, she’s not gonna be able to actually hang out, enjoy the wedding.

So just really accentuate how much you want her there as a guest, and you want her to be in photos. You wanna hang out with her and just say, it’s just not possible to have her as a photographer. But thank you.

Would You Rather: Wedding Edition

Okay. All right, onto the next segment. Would you rather, here we go. These are completely random. I have not read any of these, so here we go. “Would you rather deal with a pushy mother-in-law or a bridesmaid who thinks she’s the bride?” Oh gosh. Um, I think I’m very lucky. I’m very lucky that I never had to deal with either of these. I’ve heard stories of. Nightmares on both sides. So I’m trying to think of like the worst scenario.

If I had to deal with either of these. Gosh, I think I’m gonna say a bridesmaid who thinks she’s the bride. I don’t know. I might go back on that just because like at the end of the day. Something’s not working with a bridesmaid, you can just like kick ’em out of the wedding, right?

A mother-in-law is still your fiance’s mom or your partner’s mom, right? So you can’t, you can kick them out of coming to the wedding, but there’s still that blood relationship. So if a bridesmaid is going to be terrible and do all those things, you can just be like, thanks, but no thanks. Mother-in-law has a little more, um, pull in the game, I guess.

“Would you rather have someone wear white to your wedding or someone give an unapproved speech?” Um, wear white. I’ve talked about this before. White does not bother me in the slightest. Yes, for like family photos, it’s nice to like stand out, but like everyone knows you’re the bride like. I don’t know. That does not bother me really.

Um, yeah, I don’t wanna Unapprove speech. Sorry. “Would you rather have a wedding crasher or a vendor who shows up an hour late?” Depends on who the wedding crasher is. If it’s like at the end of the night and we’re all just dancing, having fun and it’s like funny, like older ladies, I’d be like, yeah, come on in.

Sure. If it’s like an ex of someone, someone that we purposely didn’t invite because of like toxic behavior, I would not want that. Um, I’m so bad at these ’cause I like think about things like too, like analytically and like logically. Or a vendor who shows up an hour late, gosh, I’m gonna go with, ’cause I’m such a timely person, I’d be like stressed. I think I’m gonna go with a vendor that shows up an hour late. No, I’d be stressed. I wanna go with a wedding crusher. Yeah, let’s go with wedding crusher. Okay.

“Would you rather have a bridesmaid dropout last minute or add herself back in last minute?” How would she add herself back in? Uh, we don’t just add ourselves back in. Um. That sounds like something that’s really pushy. So I’m gonna go with a bridesmaid dropping out last minute. Honestly, I don’t see the big deal. Um, like, yeah, I’d be sad. Like if I’m thinking about my own wedding, if one of my friends did that, I’d be like, oh my gosh, why are you dropping out?

I’m so sad. But when I read stories about it, it’s not, it’s more of the like, emotional part of it that’s sad, right? If you like think about them on your day, that’s what’s sad. But if we’re just thinking about people. If one person can’t make it, all of a sudden the wedding’s still gonna go fine. Um, it’s still gonna flow, like you’re gonna get everything you need.

Um, so it’s more of the emotional aspect of it. So that would be really sad to deal with, especially if it’s a close friend. But, um, if it was for a right reason, I would go with that. Dunno what that means, add herself back in last minute. Just like show like she drops out. Then is like, surprise. I’m actually still here. Then that’s it. Sounds more like an issue.

All right. “Would you rather your maid of honor forget the rings or forget the speech?” Oh, I think I would say forget the rings, because while the rings are more meaningful, I think in the whole thing, you can forget something like. The day of, right. Um, and it would hopefully just be for the ceremony so someone could like, maybe bring them, but if, if someone’s forgetting a speech, that means they completely forgot the whole time to even write one or do one or spend any time on it. And that shows me that more so that they just don’t care. Yeah.

Okay. “Would you rather spend extra on the venue or extra on the photographer?” Um, photographer. Okay. Um, you, you cannot beat a good photographer. Um, obviously, like all in all, I think our venue costs a little more, but like we had, I don’t know if I’ve talked about this before, but we got married in an old mattress factory and it was just completely like, um, rustic is the wrong word. It was not rustic. I can’t even think of what it’s called, but it was just such a cool vibe.

And I didn’t need like a really fancy venue. I was, that was not like number one on my list. I just want good photos. And if you could have good, a good photographer, you can get good photos like almost anywhere. And that’s what I wanted. I just wanted a good vibe. Good photos. Yeah.

“Would you rather cut your guest list by 20 people or cut your decor budget in half?” Decor budget in half. I’m all about the people. I did have like, I don’t know, I guess you’d call it medium sized wedding. I think I had 140 people, which years ago. I was like, oh, I’ll have like 250 people. And then the older you get just more people like dwindle away. Right. But when it came time for planning the wedding, if that were, if that’s what I was assigned between, I would cut decor budget, because at the end of the day, if you’re in a cool place.

You don’t need a ton. We, the place we got married, like down the street, had a lot of stuff you could rent, so we rented some stuff from there. They also had candles that we could rent from them. And then I made a lot of stuff, so I didn’t really spend a lot on, on decor anyways. I even re, I even used my friend made handmade bouquets with fake flowers and she let us use all those. So I spent like nothing on decor.

“Would you rather splurge on the honeymoon or splurge on the dress?” Honeymoon all the way. I talked about this before too. My dress was under $1,500. I think it was, I think, wanna say it was like 1200. I didn’t even look at the price tag. So I went because it was like a direct kind of bridal shop.

And plus, because my venue was connected to it, um, I got like an extra 20% off discount or something. Um. And don’t get me wrong, I love the dress, but I was not a bride that went to like five bridal shops to find the dress. I went to one bridal shop. I tried on five or six dresses, and I knew that first day. I was like, this is my favorite. Let’s go with it. I don’t need to try on a million things. I just kind of was like this, this is good. This is good. Um, yeah. For me, I would rather splurge on a honeymoon. My honeymoon was definitely more than the dress.

“Would you rather DIY all decor or have zero decor at all?”

I personally would rather DIY. Like I said, I did a lot of my own wedding. All the signs, um, all the, my friend did the, the bouquets, all the decor. I kind of thought of myself and I’ve been a part of a lot of DIY weddings. You need a little something. I’ve seen them go overboard, so it’s not necessarily go to go crazy, but, um, yeah, I would do DIY.

All right, last one. “Would you rather a surprise, honeymoon plan by your partner or plan every detail yourself?” You guys know me? I’m a planner. I am okay with surprises, but it makes me feel itchy, like I need to like. I need to get in there. I need know what’s going, need to know what’s going on. Um, so I would rather plan all the details myself.

Luckily for us though, like we planned it together, I used sandals. Um, again, this is not sponsored, this is just, they were the most budget friendly. We were gonna, we were looked at Hawaii and it was so expensive. Sandals at least like we were able to like. Pick the location. We looked at all the different ones to see like what was most affordable.

And it was nice. It was all inclusive, so with the price you paid include all the food. All the drinks, and I think we even were able to include flights in all that. So that was really nice to be able to do that. And then, um, we could plan stuff when we got there. So we didn’t have like a strict itinerary, but when we got there, we could pick extra excursions and I would do it a hundred times over.

The Seven-Day Wedding Disaster

It was so much fun. Okay, now to the real, real story here. This week’s story submission, “I was a bridesmaid in a wedding that came together in just one week. The couple had originally had planned a private ceremony, and when some people found out, they created so much drama that the couple felt pressured to plan a full wedding in seven days.”

No, that is like ultimate like people pleaser, like, okay, we’ll just do it in seven days. Like I was a part of a DIY wedding where they, they had a three month engagement and I thought that was like really hard to do. Like it was fast and seven days. I’m like, what did you do in those seven days? ’cause that’s a lot.

“They also had to change venues because one church refused to host due to the drama. So we had an all intensity of a year long engagement squeezed into a single week. And because of the chaos, the wedding party changed several times before the big day.” How long is this week? This seems like an impossibly long week.

“The maid of honor, let’s call her, Emily, had been the bride’s best friend since fifth grade. But she had always been jealous of the bride’s relationship for years. She tried to sabotage them, creating tension, trying to break them up, and constantly forcing the bride to choose, choose between her and the groom.”

So why are we making her the maid of honor? When I see like Frida, all these friendships, I’m like, why? Why? Unless like from this bridesmaid perspective, she could always see it and then the bride was just kind of blind to it, which, which happens of course.

Okay. “On the wedding day, Emily confronted the bridesmaids, including me, and called us all fake friends while we were trying to get hair and makeup done.” What? Okay, so this is the maid of honor. “She was furious because she learned that I confided some of her private struggles, including her addiction issues and another crush she had to the bride.”

Whoa. “I only did this because I cared about her and believed she needed help. I had suffered a stroke the month before and couldn’t do much myself, so I turned to the bride hoping we could figure out how to support her.”

Okay, so here’s where I’m gonna disagree. I mean, of course, I don’t know how severe or what’s going on with this person’s addiction. I’m not a therapist or an addictions counselor. So this is just my own perspective as I’m learning this story right now. Little, um, disclaimer, but my number, one of the number one things I say is do not, I don’t wanna say bother, but do not get the bride involved in drama right before her wedding and not saying like someone’s issue, someone’s addiction issues is drama necessarily. But if that person confided in you and is telling you something, the best time to tell the bride is probably not right before her wedding es even, like especially knowing that it’s already like there’s already drama happening around this wedding. There’s already like a lot of stress. It’s happening in a week. Again, how long is this week? There’s a lot happening right? I would be waiting until after the wedding and be like, ‘Hey, by the way, blank came to me, or I guess we know her name’s Emily, or her changed name is Emily came to me and said, this is what’s going on. I’m very concerned of, uh, very concerned. The timing seems a little like sketchy to me, and I, I don’t wanna come on this, like, I don’t know. I don’t wanna be. Put down this person that sent in the story. But the timing seems a little weird, especially if, you know, things are already kind of like iffy. This could set someone off like this.

“The other bridesmaid knew none of this, and I wasn’t about to share Emily’s personal business in front of everyone we genuinely cared for.” And I, I do believe you cared for her. I do believe this person cared for her, but however, but it’s just the timing thing. Like we need to make sure, like the bride’s not brought into like crazy drama, right?

Right before right. “Emily then took off with two bridesmaids and disappeared for hours. They did the bare minimum for the wedding and then left to eat out, never bringing back anything for the bride who hadn’t eaten and was stuck doing tests emily should have been doing. Whatever Emily told the other bridesmaids must have been bad because one of them, someone I had been close to, barely speaks to me to this day.

The other bridesmaid who left with her, stayed friends with us afterward, though, she told us that she caught Emily shoplifting items for the wedding and not small items, expensive ones. I later learned that the $2,000 veil Emily gave the bride was stolen.” That’s wild. Okay. “Even though Emily had access to plenty of money, a wealthy friend had loaned her cash for the wedding. She still shoplifted.” Well, I mean, if she’s going through a serious addiction, we don’t know. I mean.

I don’t know the whole story, so I don’t wanna judge this person. Again, I don’t have background in this, so this seems like a very serious matter. Um, I’m also like, why is this maid of honor? Why is it put on the maid of honor to buy all these things for the wedding? Um, why should it matter that a friend loaned her cash for the wedding if I was in a wedding? And I was told, okay, it’s in a week. You have to pay for all these things. Like, and if I couldn’t afford it, I would step down. Um, the fact that like a friend had to loan her all this money, that’s a, a little odd. Like going back to being at a seven day planning of this wedding, I would be like, okay, we’re gonna keep it really simple.

We’re not spending money on like pointless things. Not saying veil’s pointless, but like it sounds like they’re spending a lot of like money on stuff and like putting all these things together. Like keep it stupid simple. If you’re having a one week planning time.

“Emily heavily controlled what she thought everyone should wear throwing fits anytime She didn’t get her way and celebrating when she did, I found a $65 dress that was more appropriate for the church ceremony compared to the $200 one she demanded I wear.”

Why is the maid of Honor? Okay. Am I confused? No. The maid of honor is Emily. Why is the maid of honor controlling what dresses they wear? And also, again, they’re getting married in seven days. Why are we spending all this time finding this super expensive dress? Let’s just find one. Let’s just find one. All the girls can wear and be done with it. But again, this should be the bride controlling this.

“She was furious when I asked to return it. She pressured the bride into choosing a dress she never actually wanted.” Okay. At some point we have to take responsibilities for ourselves though, like, like how? How is this made of honor pressuring the bridesmaid, the bride, and the bridesmaids?

“She says not the bride, not the groom. The bride still says she wished she could redo her entire wedding because of how much Emily influenced and manipulated everything.” We need to get rid of this person. “The bride was an hour and a half late to her own wedding because she had to hammer tent stakes and do heavy setup work. Test the maid of honor, should have helped.” With this is again where, and I talked about this on my episode with Bethy. This is when like there’s an overlap of like paid work help in your wedding party. We cannot assume that just because someone’s in your wedding party that they are going to do all the work for setup.

You are then hiring your friends for unpaid labor. And some people like myself, I love doing that stuff. I love being involved. Like if I’m in your wedding, expect me to help you with something, I, I will do that. But it should not be an expectation. The expectation of a bridesmaid is that they get the dress that you want, they stand up by your side, and they’re there at the wedding day.

Like honest to God. That should be the minimum, like that should be their expectation. The fact that you’re expecting your maid of honor to get your tent set up. You have to hammer in tent stakes and do the heavy setup? No, like can we get someone else? Do that. Where are the groomsmen? Let’s get the groomsmen in there.

“I tried to help after my stroke. I was extremely slow and weak. Emily also insisted the groom choose a best man she wasn’t close to because she had a crush on him and wanted to walk down the aisle with him. Shockingly, both men agreed.” Okay. How, how does this woman have such an impact on all these people to change their whole wedding? Who’s the best man? Who’s walking down with who, what dresses we’re wearing? Like at some point we need to say like, no. Or if you say like, yeah, fine, we’ll do it. Don’t know. I don’t know guys like I. We gotta take a little responsibility on both sides.

“Before the reception, Emily disappeared entirely. The bride and I panicked knowing her history of destructive behavior. Eventually we found Emily had gone to another gathering to see the guy she was crushing on.” I thought the guy she crushed on was a groomsman.

“She confronted him about his feelings and he wasn’t interested. To make things worse, the guy I had a crush on and usher also ended up at that gathering.” Where’s this other gathering? I thought they were all at a wedding together. “Emily spent time with him too, and this wasn’t the first time she had gone behind my back to flirt with him or hang out with him. She didn’t actually want him. She just liked the drama.” I don’t know. I think, I think you guys all liked the drama. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, but why lie? She told you like this in confidence and then you went and told the bride, I’m just confused by this little event.

“Before the wedding, Emily had lice and I caught it from her.” This is the longest week I’ve ever heard of. Why are all these things happening this week? “I managed to treat it before the wedding and showed up lice free only to discover afterward that I had caught it again. Emily hadn’t treated at all.” Guys, this is a mess. This is like why so is Emily girl had lice. They’re just like going around. Are you friends with Emily? Because I feel like the way you’re talking about her, she’s not your friend. Is she friends with the bride more? How’d you guys get lice if you’re not friends? Did this happen in the prior week to the wedding? I.

“Despite all this, the wedding day still turned out beautiful. It’s amazing what can be accomplished in a week with determination and love The bride and I became best friends afterward. She told me many times she wished she’d chosen me as her maid of honor instead. As for Emily, I hope one day she gets the help she clearly needs.”

Okay. I mean, I know I shared a lot of my thoughts, but I feel like this is. There’s a lot of things here. One is a communication error, like why is this Emily girl, the maid of honor, when she’s done all these horrible things apparently, and it seems like there’s a lot of bad talk about her behind her back. So there’s that one, two, I’m confused, like, okay, when you decide to have a quick engagement, you can’t just assume all these people are gonna do things for your day, right?

Like. Yes, if you have a crafty family, if you have people there, there that can help. But why is it again, the maid of honors duty to set up tents for you? That’s not her job. Get a bunch of the guys, get some extra, you know, hire some people to help set up. Um, but I don’t think she’s completely wrong for that.

Again, we are talking. You decided, not you, the bride decided. That they were gonna throw together a wedding in one week. Why should everyone stop everything they’re doing? They probably all have jobs. They probably all have families. Why should they have to stop everything they’re doing to put together your wedding?

That’s where I just don’t agree with it. Like, I’m like a very like do it yourself kind of person. Um. I could never imagine being like, okay, in one week from now I’m gonna do this thing and have all, all my friends are gonna help me. Um, this is my wedding day. You know, like it just seems very, like, that seems a little bridezilla to expect all your friends to just set up a wedding for you.

Um, the little drama here about like telling. The bride about her crush and her addiction again, did it need to happen before the wedding? I don’t think so. I think we need to keep the bride out of the wedding drama as much as possible if we’re really trying to stay focused on like making this day as beautiful as possible.

  1. Keep the bride outta the drama. Let’s get all hands together. Why am I not hearing about family members, the groom, groomsmen, anyone else helping? It seems like it. Emily is just to blame this Emily girl. She didn’t do this. She was supposed to do this. She didn’t do like, let’s slow down. We always knew.

She was jealous of the relationship, or that’s what we, that’s what she says. She was jealous of the relationship. Tried to sabotage them, create tension. Try get them to try to get them to break up. Forcing the bride to choose between him and her. So there’s already issues there. So now we’re gonna push her in and be like, Hey, you need to put together this wedding, not her problem.

This might be a hot take, but it’s not her problem. This should be the bride and groom putting everything together, and then if people offer to help and wanna come in, they can help. It is not the maid of honor, best man, groomsmen or, or bridesmaid’s responsibility to make this happen. If they want to, they can.

If they wanna ask, they can, but it’s, it’s not anyone’s responsibility. We’re talking seven days. God, like I said, I, I’ve been a part of like really quick engagements, really quick DIY weddings, and even then it took multiple weeks to get everything together. So I can only imagine the stress that this put on everyone.

And I feel like this was just kind of calling out like some toxic to toxicity between the friends, right? No one really seems innocent in this. I don’t know. You guys have to let me know what you think. Sometimes I get like, like I have to look at it from all sides, so I’m not trying to call it this person.

I just have to look for it from all sides. And I feel like this is very like putting Emily down. We know she’s got some issues. We know there’s some different things going on, so let’s not have. Put that huge level of responsibility on someone when we know they can’t hold up to it. Or like I said, if you’re like, I need this person as my maid of honor, we’re getting married in seven days.

Keep it stupid simple. We found a place, set up some chairs, have an arch, have someone read your vows, have a party, go to a bar. You can do things really simply. Um. And yeah, that’s, that’s what I think you guys tell me what you guys think about this. ’cause the idea that your wedding party is hired, labor is just, no, it’s just old news to me.

Again, there’s a lot of people out there that really do like doing that stuff, and I think that’s great. I enjoy doing it. But not everyone’s like that. Not everyone has the time. If you’ve got kids, a spouse, a job, a full-time job, like. You have to remember, that’s their priority. Your wedding day is not their priority.

So we need to give a little more grace and understanding for things like that.

Wedding Stress Confessions: DIY Disasters and Lessons Learned

Alright, that’s what we got today. All right, let’s end with some confessions here. I don’t know why I said here like that. All right. “I ended up looking like a zombie on my wedding day due to stress.” Uh, you know what? I think that’s one of those things.

I heard so many people talk about wedding stress before I got married and while I was, yeah, I was a little stressed here and there. I knew of people that like couldn’t eat towards the end that had lost so much weight because they were just like so stressed about getting things checked off. Um, that would be in tears multiple times because of different things and, and it’s hard.

There’s a lot of pressure. There’s a lot of external pressures, family pressures. Um, people that got married during COVID right, or were engaged during COVID, I heard of venues getting canceled. I heard of family members not being able to come in. Um, just different things like that, like stressors that you can’t plan for.

So it’s really important to just understand, and I’m not trying to belittle wedding days or anything ’cause they’re amazing. But remember, it’s just a day. As long as you have your close friends and family there, it’s gonna be beautiful. You gotta remember that it’s not gonna be a hundred percent perfect.

Um, and stress. Stress is like, stress can kill you, right? We all let stress get to us from depending on different things. We all stress about different things. Um. I’ve heard of brides being so stressed that their wedding day comes and they can’t even enjoy it. ’cause their body is just like so tense still from all the stress buildup.

Like I said, they, they don’t eat. They don’t sleep, and it’s just like their day’s there and then it’s over and they get like a wedding hangover, not like an alcohol hangover, a wedding hangover where they’re sad because the day came and went and they didn’t actually fully enjoy it. Or they had all these months of stress and planning and then it was just gone. Right. So it’s sad when that happens.

Um, okay. “Made my own centerpieces. Half of them fell apart when the guest touched ’em.” That’s hard with DIY stuff. It happens, but at the end of the day, as long as you get a couple photos of them, you just have to, it’s one of those things you have to let go.

“I let my sister be the dj. Our first dance had a short ad in the middle of the song.” What? Okay, I wanna know what platform puts ads in the middle of a song. Um, and that’s just. It’s the price you pay. I mean you, if it’s probably free. So that’s, that’s the gamble you take. You, you have someone that’s not a licensed business. Be a vendor you, you give and take. Right? I’m sure everyone was able to laugh it off.

All right. “Tried to sew my own veil and it ended up looking like a mosquito netting.” Yeah, know your talents. Know your strengths, know your weaknesses. Know where it’s better to pay someone to do it or ask for help. Alright, last one. “I DIYed my bouquet. It wilted before the ceremony even started.” I, yeah, again, it’s like you gotta know what, there’s certain things that you have to know, like.

What’s gonna work and what won’t. There’s certain things you gotta be willing to negotiate on. Like where, where are your strengths and where are we gonna be? Like, I’m gonna hire for that. Like I said, never thought I would have fake flowers, but my friends fake flowers at her wedding looked beautiful and she got married six months before me and she’s like, do you want these? And I was like, $4,000 or flowers from her. I’ll take those. So I did that.

Okay. That’s all I’ve got for this week. Thanks for joining me on. Here comes the drama. Um, lots of exciting things coming this year. So many exciting episodes coming up and things with the book. Um. I know I’m, I sound like a broken record, but here comes a drama affairs and Sloan story has been out since June and there’s been so many great reviews.

So if you guys had a chance to read the book. It would really help me out to, if you share it on social media, leave a review, share it with a friend, um, ask your library to order it, whatever that looks like for you. It just helps more people get their hands on the book. It’s just been so much fun to read and I still can’t believe.

I wrote a book, it’s Wild. Um, and I wrote book number two, um, more details on that. That’s been a lot of fun to write. Um, I will keep you guys posted on when that will become available. Manifesting some big things for this year and I hope you guys are as well. Again, don’t forget to enter the 2026. Episode 50 giveaway that I announced last week.

Um, just share something in your story on social media about the podcast. Gimme a screenshot of the podcast. It can be a screenshot of you listening. Tag me at @@heychristainnis, and we’ll select four winners, four $50 Amazon gift card. All right guys, that’s all I’ve got. Thanks for hanging out with me and I’ll see you next time.

Bye now.


Late Vendor, Red Flags & A Family Dressed in all Black

What happens when your in-laws hate you so much they all wear black to your wedding? 

This week, I’m diving into a listener story that starts with a secret elopement and ends in family chaos. We’re talking group chat meltdowns, cold shoulders, and a mother-in-law who calls her “the family shame.”

Then we’re spilling tea on a viral makeup artist who showed up late, blamed her calendar, and still thought a partial refund was enough. Spoiler: I have thoughts.

Plus, the latest round of wedding confessions, from best men brawling to guests peeing in driveways. Because no matter how pretty the venue, no wedding is safe from the drama.

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month! 

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

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Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

00:57 Viral Wedding Makeup Artist Drama

04:22 Listener Feedback and Podcast Improvements

05:58 Wedding Dilemmas: Proposal Planning

09:59 Wedding Dilemmas: Bridal Room Meltdown

13:17 Red Flags vs. Green Flags: Wedding Edition

17:54 Wedding Story Submission: Elopement Secrets

19:03 Understanding Oversharing and Social Dynamics

19:29 Wedding Traditions and Exclusion

20:08 Group Chat Drama and Misunderstandings

21:26 Family Tensions and Wedding Planning

25:35 Health Scares and Family Reactions

27:13 Wedding Day Disasters

28:56 Post-Wedding Reflections and Separation

30:56 Confessions and Listener Stories

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • The Viral Makeup Artist Fiasco – A vendor misses her call time and chaos unfolds. Christa breaks down what went wrong and whether the bride deserved a full refund.
  • When to Ask for a Refund – Contracts, accountability, and why communication can make or break your big day.
  • Fan Feedback That Hit Home – Christa reacts to a listener review suggesting new segment cues—and reveals how she’s improving the show.
  • Red Flag vs. Green Flag: Wedding Edition – From brides demanding weight loss to car-obsessed grooms, Christa calls out what’s toxic vs. totally fine.
  • The In-Law Showdown – One bride’s family nightmare that ended in heartbreak.
  • Vendor Etiquette 101 – Why feeding your photographer isn’t just polite—it’s part of the contract.
  • Family & Guest Drama Galore – From white jumpsuits to banned phones, Christa dishes on the social politics of weddings.
  • Confessions Corner Returns – Real listener confessions: fights, public pee, and champagne theft.
  • Christa’s Takeaway – A reminder to protect your peace, laugh through the madness, and maybe rethink that guest list.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  • “We are not giving nutrition plans or weight loss goals to our friends. That’s not our job, that’s a red flag.” – Christa Innis
  • “If your makeup artist is late enough to delay the ceremony, I’d be hoping for a full refund, at least emotionally.” – Christa Innis
  • “Let’s normalize letting people go if it’s not vibing. Even bridesmaids, it’s kind of like a job, right?” – Christa Innis
  • “You can’t expect guests to lock their phones away in a box; it’s a wedding, not a top-secret mission.” – Christa Innis
  • “Apparently, we’re a top leisure podcast even though I’m out here raising your blood pressure every week.” – Christa Innis

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

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Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

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Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of, Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis. If it’s your first time here, welcome. We are the podcast that dies into the chaos, hilarity, and unforgettable moments when it comes to weddings and events. And today’s episode is packed with just that. I don’t know if it’s just my algorithm lately or if it’s just because of the industry or type of content I share, but I am getting so, so much wedding drama.

In my feed lately. Um, I wanna talk about a couple of things I’ve seen and you guys can comment and see if you’ve talk if you’ve seen it too. 

Late Glam, Lost Calm & Refund Rage

So the first one I saw was a viral wedding story where a makeup artist was late. And this kind of blew up like overnight. So she’s filming herself, going to a wedding saying how, um, she just got a call from a frantic bride saying, you’re supposed to be here.

Why aren’t you here? And as she’s driving, she’s saying, I should be finishing her makeup right now and I’m not even there. And as you can guess, most people are in the comments saying, you need to refund her the money. Why aren’t you there? What’s going on? Turns out somehow, something wasn’t synced in her calendar and so nothing notified her of that special day. Um, so it took the bride calling her. Then she came back and said, I gave her a partial refund. I still went there. I did the makeup, helped her out with other tasks that we had in the contract. She doesn’t specifically say what those tasks are, so no one really knows. But people are angry and angry in the comments. They are saying, she should have fully refunded this bride. How dare her? Cause so much stress and anxiety, the mourning of, and also push back a whole timeline. And I completely agree with them.

I, if I had to push it back that much, especially a vendor that’s just there in the morning, um, typically to push back a timeline that much, especially the bride. Not even like just starting an hour late for bridesmaids. You are starting after the bride should be done. And now my own wedding, I wanna say I was the last or second to last to get my makeup done. It’s typically recommended that the bride is one of the last ones, just so her makeup’s the most fresh for walking out for pictures, all that stuff.

So this just, I don’t know how late she was, but this just seems like a rushed job. Now she’s defending herself in the comment saying, it wasn’t rushed. I’ve, I’m used to doing this kind of thing. I’m used to being fast, and that’s all well and good, but for me personally as a bride, if I knew my person was late pushing back the schedule, and now we’re on a stricter timeline because of it, I would be hoping for probably a hundred percent refund. Would I ask for that? Probably not. If she came and did her job, I think I’d be happy and just carry on with the day. Again, not trying to carry that anger or resentment with me and just try to enjoy it the best I can, but I don’t know. I wanna hear from you guys what you think you would do in this situation, what you would expect.

Um, now you guys know I’ve talked about this before. I film like batch film, so this, when this comes out, this episode, it probably happened like two or three weeks ago, so I don’t know if it’s gonna still be a thing, but it’s just interesting to kind of discuss when is it acceptable to get a full refund or ask for a full refund.

And this is something that should be outlined in the contract as well. Um, like for me, when I do day of coordinating, I’m typically there all day. I am mostly there to assist the bride in helping her with running around doing random tasks, making sure we stay on schedule. And I think if I were there and the hairstylist wasn’t there or the makeup artist wasn’t there, I’d be calling them nonstop, saying like, you need to get here now.

I know like the last wedding I was a part of, we were on a pretty strict timeline. Of course, there’s always some wiggle room, but I don’t know. I don’t know. You guys gotta let me know in the comments what you guys would, would do about that.

Okay, before I get too far into this, I’m like, just like chatting. ‘Cause it’s really interesting. Um, here is this week’s review. This is from Reci Baby. It says, ‘here for the tea with all the segments that she started to develop, it would be helpful, I think, if she had some kind of sound effect or music cue so that we knew which segment was which, because I’m getting confused between all the different segments that she presents. I love them all, but it would be helpful to differentiate between them because they’re all kind of feeling the same way.’ Okay. I, actually love this comment because I, I said it in another podcast. Sometimes it’s hard to get direct feedback from you guys. Sometimes I see it here and there, but to have it all in one place, um, this was great feedback.

So I hope we did justice in this episode. We’re always making little changes here and there just to make it easier and more fun to listen to. And yes, I know I’m randomly adding segments just because. I’ll hear of things that I wanna talk about, but I’m like, where would that go? Where would that fit best?

So I hope I’m not confusing you. Um, hopefully this makes more sense or flows better. If not, let me know. But also thank you for the kind review. I’m so glad you’re here for the tea. We’ve always got lots of tea. There’s still plenty more to come, and if you guys love the podcast, please share it with a friend or Lee or review on your own.

It’s very helpful to getting the word out and having more people find it. Which by the way, this is a side note. I just found out we are considered the top eight podcasts under leisure. So love that you guys are just lounging listening to the podcast. You’re able to, uh, enjoy it and get some entertainment out of it.That, that made me happy to hear.

Proposals, Meltdowns & Unsolicited Advice: Christa’s Wedding 911 Segment

Okay, we are gonna go into wedding dilemmas. This is my newest segment. Again, I only do this on solo pods, so when it’s just me, I get so many wedding dilemmas sent to me in my dms. Um, these are just little things. They’re not necessarily long stories. It might just be a little thing someone’s going through right now or something that happened at their wedding and they want some advice.

Um, and I call it unprofessional solicited advice because like I always say, I’m not a professional wedding planner. I just, you know, give my advice on being a part of these weddings for so many times. So you can DM me or you can email me hello@kristaennis.com and I will address them.

Okay. Here’s this first one. It says, “Christa, help. I’m helping plan a proposal, an engagement party for my husband’s cousin. His soon to be fiance’s brother is planning to propose on Saturday. He the cousin, is planning to propose on Friday.” Okay, so brothers, I’m getting ones proposing on Friday and one is on Saturday. Okay. Okay, so I get it.

So you’re helping your husband’s cousin, but then it’d be the brother-in-law is proposing, um, the day after. Wow. Okay. Okay. I’m getting, I’m getting this all lined up. ” The timing of it being so close together wasn’t intentional. I’m gonna change the name really quickly here. Trevor, the cousin called the brother to make sure it was okay because he would change it if he wanted to. The brother said, ‘no, go for it.’ He didn’t care at all and thought it was cool, figured he’d throw it, figured it would throw off his girlfriend even more.” I could see that. Yeah. ’cause there’s other things going on right? “Now, trevor’s soon to be fiance’s, mom and sister are trying to pressure him into moving the date, but he can’t really, because of all their weekend, all their weekends got booked up for the next month and he’s already set out invitations for the engagement party and people are planning stuff.

I told him to just tell the mom that he already talked to the brother and he was fine with it. And he’s already putting plans in motion and doesn’t want to have to move everything when he doesn’t even know when he’ll have a chance to do it again. I also told him to add my number to the bottom to say, to reach out with to me with any questions.

Does this seem fair? The poor guy is so stressed, and it’s not even the wedding day yet.” I’m stressed reading that because I am confused who is who. No. Okay, so it’s two people. Basically in the same family once proposing Friday, one Saturday. It sounds to me like the one on Friday was planned first. Um, and then the Saturday one came along, the brother was like, yeah, that’s totally fine.

You can go ahead and do it. But now family’s coming in giving their 2 cents. Here’s my 2 cents. It’s already planned. The brother said it was fine. He’s the main one doing the proposal the next day. Is it kind of annoying to have it two days in a row? Sure, maybe. But when it comes down to it, the important people that are gonna be there are gonna be there.

And sorry to the fiance’s mom and sister. Like, but it’s already set. Invitations have been set out. People are planning on being there. And I think giving all these unsolicited advice to him to move it is only gonna stress him out even more. So at the end of the day, like, you can only plan so much. If people can make it, they can make it.

If they can’t, they can’t. And I know it’s hard to think that way, but like, especially I feel like the older we get, like I know my husband and I always talk about like how busy our schedules can be sometimes. Like to try to get together with friends these days is so ridiculous and crazy. Like we’re like, ‘okay, let’s plan like three months in advance because it’s like you got, you know, stuff with kids, stuff with family stuff, with work stuff with you know, time off, whatever that looks like. It’s, it’s so hard to get together.’ So if you are lucky enough to find a weekend where you can have something and you get invitations out, just let go and let God’ just see what happens and just trust that it’s gonna work out. Um, so that would be my advice for this first dilemma. I hope that helps, and I hope the engagements go amazing.

Okay. Here we go. Dilemma number two. This is something that had already happened to her, but just see my two sons. Okay. “About 30 minutes before my wedding, I was in the bridal room with my bridesmaids, just hanging out, taking some breaths, et cetera.

My sister-in-law brings my melting down three year old’s niece into my bridal room for a full 10 minutes. My niece is three, so I can’t put much blame on her being a child, but I still hold a grudge against my sister-in-law for thanking the bridal room, there were several other open rooms within the church, was the place for her to bring a screaming child.”

Ooh. Yeah. Okay. Here’s my take on this. Okay. So, yeah, I mean, I agree with you. Um, I don’t know what her intention was bringing her daughter in the room while she was melting down. Especially like for me now as a, as a mother of a toddler. I, would not be bringing into a, into a calm environment. I would not be bringing my toddler into, especially if she was having a, a meltdown or upset about something.

I’m very like, let’s pull ourselves out of a situation. Let me get down on their level and talk to them. And again, this is, this is of course not a parenting thing. I don’t know what I’m doing half the time. But what I’m saying is I just personally, I feel like that would overwhelm the three-year-old too, to bring them in a crowded room with a bunch of people.

Um, as the bride, I don’t know if I would say anything, but this, I think is where your, your bridesmaids would come in and I feel like that’s when they should kind of step up and be like, ‘Hey, do you think maybe we could like, step in this room over here? There’s a really awesome room that’s quiet. Um, and it’s really pretty and just kind of like help distract’ instead of feeling like you’re pushing the sister-in-law out, make it seem like a more comfortable and, um, uh.

The ideal choice for them to bring the, the niece to. That way everyone’s kind of happy, right? You’re like, ‘Hey, wait, there’s this really cute room over here. Why don’t you bring over here? I’ll bring some snacks in and it’s gonna be okay.’ That way you’re like more assisting, um, because yeah, like right before walking down the aisle, you wanna kind of calm yourself, center yourself. You don’t want a lot of commotion. 

Um, I, myself, like I recently just saw, came across the picture. Right before walking out, I was by myself. Um, I was by myself in the little bridal room. We basically, I dunno how to describe it, there’s like a, a hallway where we had a bridal suite and then the next to it was the bathroom.

That’s where all of us girls got ready, um, at the venue. And so when everyone was lining up, I locked myself in there until everyone was gone. And then my dad came and got me. It was just like really calming for me to be there by myself, take some breaths and really just like center. So I can totally sympathize with this bride to kind of feel like, ugh.

I was like, my, my adrenaline was kind of raised right before all that. Um, so yeah, that’s what I would do in the future, but of course you can’t go back and change it, so, um. It’s best to just kind of, you have to kinda make peace with it eventually. I know it kind of, it sucks that it happened, but focus on the positive and the good moments that you did have during your wedding day.

All right. Again, that’s the wedding 9 1 1. If you guys have any dilemmas or situations you would like me to address on a future episode of the podcast, you can DM me on mostly. Instagram’s the best place to DM me other platforms. It’s really hard to find. Um, or you can email me, hello@christainnis.com. Okay.

Red Flags, Green Flags & Wedding Madness

Next section. A red flag versus green flag a wedding edition. “The bride gives her bridesmaids, strict weight loss goals for the wedding photos.” If you can see my face. No, that’s a complete red flag. We are not giving nutrition plans or weight loss plans to our friends. Anyone we care about, anyone we don’t care about. We’re just not doing that. It’s not our job. 

Okay. That’s how I feel about that, which I’ve talked about before. But a hot, hot take for weddings. Let’s get rid of the whole like, um, shedding for the wedding. Like, sure, if you wanna work out for your own wedding, fine, but the wedding industry of losing weight, no, let’s stop.

The couple. Makes guests pay for their own meals at the reception because it’s about being there, not the food. Um, red flag. No, our partner wants to skip.

Your partner wants to skip a honeymoon so you can save money for his, his dream car red flag. Um, I understand maybe skipping a honeymoon ’cause you wanna do a down payment on a house or you want to put it towards something together. But if it’s just to save money for. Something that suits one of the part one of the people in the relationship.

I don’t, I don’t think that’s right. Um, “a bridesmaid drops out two weeks before the wedding, but still plans to attend as a guest.” I think that’s a green flag. I mean, we don’t know the reason for her dropping out, but I would say if she ate, communicated it to you and said, Hey, like. You know, it’s getting too expensive or I don’t really like the dress you picked, or I’m not comfortable in a dress.

Um, I’m not gonna be able to make it in time to all the wedding events to be a bridesmaid, whatever that looks like. If she’s communicating it, I think that’s a green flag. Communication wins. She’s, someone’s come as a guest, so let’s do it. The photographer brings an assistant who turns out to be their boyfriend, and he eats and drinks with guests.

Okay, so. I don’t think this is a red flag, flag or a green flag. A lot of times photographers do bring assistance, but it will be in their contract if they do bring an assistant. However, if they are a staff member, like if they’re a vendor, so a photographer and an assistant, and that’s in your contract, you should be feeding them.

Um, this was a thing I saw and actually I talked to some vendors at a wedding recently, but this is a. Wild thing I saw for how people have been treated at weddings before. Um, you as a vendor for a wedding, if you were there during wedding hours, so if you’re a makeup artist, artist and you leave before the actual ceremony starts, that’s different.

But if you are a photographer, a wedding planner, coordinator, videographer, dj. You should have a place setting at a table and be fed like everybody else and be eating technically with the guests. Drinks, you should not be drinking any alcoholic beverages. Um, of course, like I feel like that should go without saying.

Even one time I was invited to stay as a guest after, and I just didn’t feel right about having wine with dinner. I was just like, I, let’s, I’m not going to, but thank you. Um. So definitely needs to be established in the contract. If, um, they just bring someone randomly, it’s not in their contract, you’d have to decide.

I mean, maybe, maybe they realize last minute, like, oh, they’re not gonna be able to get all the shots without this other person. I’ve been to a lot of weddings where they, they always, where they come with another person. So make sure it’s clear in your contract. Eating with guests, I think is okay. It just depends again, if they’re doing their job as well.

Did you get photos at the end of the day then I think we’re fine. “The groom sister shows up in a white jumpsuit and says, it’s fine, i’m not wearing a veil.” Red flag. I mean, it’s, it’s one of those things again where it depends on your relationship if you know she’s doing it to be, um. Rude or make a scene, then yeah, it’s a red flag.

If you’re like, it’s a black and white party, wear whatever you want, then whatever, the couple bands photos or the couple bands, phones and cameras at the wedding, even during family photos, I wouldn’t say it’s a red flag, but it is a little controlling. You can’t expect everybody to just like keep their phones like locked away in a box.

Okay. “The bride asks everyone to wear neutral colors, so she pops in photos, including the moms.” I think that’s fine. I don’t think it’s red or green, red or green, but, um, color schemes can be hard for people to follow because then they have to go out and buy a specific dress, um, that matches and goes along with it, which is another expense for people, and they might not come because of it.

But yeah, if you are a bride and you’re like, Hey, can everyone wear this color? You have every right to put that out there on your imitation.

Secrets, Shade & the Family in Black

Okay, here we go. Okay. Here is our wedding story submission of the week. My eyes are watering, not because I’m crying, but because the light is so bright and sometimes it just gets so hot in here. Okay, here we go. “In 2017, my husband and I eloped and got married on the beach. It was small and intimate. Just my two adult children and my friend who officiated the ceremony.

Our plan was to keep it secret for two years and then have a big wedding celebration that didn’t last long. Two weeks later, we told my family and then his his on Father’s Day. No one seemed excited except for his dad and brother-in-law. To say they didn’t like me would be an understatement. I’m a loud, outspoken white girl and his family is very Latino. At this time, at the time his brother was getting married in December. This was back in June, and I was just so happy about finally being married. We were both nearly 50 at the weekly Friday night family dinners. I’d share little bits of our wedding plans. One night his older sister told me, ‘this is Christina’s time, not yours. Don’t talk about your wedding.'”

Who’s Christina? I’m so confused. Who’s Christina? Okay. Maybe we’ll find out. “Only recently after being diagnosed with autism and A DHD, did I understand that I was oversharing because I was trying to fit in.” Whoa. I can relate to that. “But I never really did. They didn’t talk about things I was interested in. They were quiet, reserved, and I was loud, Christina, the bride to be.” Okay, here we go. “Was marrying my husband’s youngest brother.” So her soon to be sister-in-law. “My mom completely played. Oh, his mom completely played favorites.

In Mexican tradition, different people sponsor parts of the wedding. One pays for the flowers, another for the cake. Someone else even buys the rings. I didn’t realize these sponsors are considered part of the official wedding party. So when Christina had a wedding party only, bachelorette party and didn’t invite me, even though the sister-in-law from Arizona was there. I was angry. I started to notice how people. I started to notice how often we were being left out, and I got frustrated with my husband for never standing up for me.

It became a constant argument every time it happened. Flash forward to the day before the wedding. I was in a group chat where everyone was talking about going to the nail salon, and once again, I wasn’t included.” But wait, she’s in the group chat. So are they just being like, Hey, are you all gonna be there? And then like, purposely not including her. If I was in a group chat and everyone was talking about going to the nail salon, I would just assume I was invited too. Unless they’re like, you know, uh, talking about it like in past tense, like, oh, ‘can’t wait to, you know. Go get our nails done or are you gonna be at the nail salon tomorrow?’ And then specifically calling out each person and not saying her name. I’m wondering why they just don’t like her so much. ’cause she’s just different or, or what. I can, I can also see, you know, like obviously in a lot of my stories, there’s couples that elope and then they come back and tell the family, right?

And so to me, I obviously, I haven’t finished the story. They seem like they could be pretty hurt that they weren’t included, which at the end of the day the bride and groom, or the, the person that’s said this story and her husband, they’re in their fifties. They are adults. They’ve been adults for a while, so if they wanna run off and get married, that’s their choice. She has adult children. You know, it was something that they wanted to do that was intimate. But if he comes from a large family where they like to celebrate together, that can be seen as like hurtful. So it seems to me like they might be holding this grudge against them because they chose to do this without including them, um, or allowing them to be a part of the day.

“I was hurt and texted the group saying, so, not realizing the bride herself was in the chat. She started the message, started crying and told everyone what I said. Suddenly I was the villain. His mother said, I brought shame to the family.” Wait, so if there, I’m still so confused. They’re all in a group chat talking about this nail salon appointment. What did she, so she’s just saying that she’s hurt, that she wasn’t included, but now she’s mean for saying that? I feel like I’m missing something. “No matter how many times I apologized and explained, I didn’t know the bride was in the chat. No one believed me.” And also, why would it matter that the bride was in the chat? So, like they’re all in a chat chat talking about it. So she just said, Hey guys, I’m, I feel hurt about this, and now they’re mad the bride was in the chat too. I don’t know.

Okay. “My husband and I had a huge fight and I said I wasn’t going to the wedding. Then his sister called me with their mom secretly in the car and started yelling. At that point, I was done. Still, the wedding happened and everything seemed fine on the surface, so I’m guessing she went to the wedding.” It just says, still the wedding happened, so I’m guessing she went. “When it came time to plan our big wedding, we met with the priest and mapped out how our families would be involved. I’m the youngest of six with 18 nieces and nephews. While he is one of five. We wanted to include as many kids as possible. During a family dinner, we began sharing details about the ceremony.

Suddenly, his mother stood up and started yelling in Spanish. I could only pick up a few words, but it was clear that she was furious. I walked out to take the dog for a walk to cool off. My husband followed and told me It’s you and me. That’s all that matters. She was still holding the other wedding against me saying I had disrespected his sister.”

I am so confused why she thinks she disrespected the sister. Because it was just a group chat that she was in. Then they were talking about going to the nail salon. They kept excluding her from all these events and she just said how she felt. I’ve seen in a lot of stories though, like where as soon as someone stands up for themselves, they’re saying like, ‘Hey, you left me out of this. That scene as attack. Someone that has not been communicated with before or called out on certain behaviors will see those kinds of things as an attack. And it sounds like they’re still holding a grudge against the couple for getting married secretly, and so they’re just holding it on. It’s just kind of growing and growing and growing.

“I decided to speak directly to his parents. I wrote out what I wanted to say in English, had a friend translate it and then read it aloud to her on the phone. Since my husband’s Spanish is terrible, his mom was cold and dismissive. My apologies meant nothing. She even told my husband, none of your other girlfriends were ever a problem.”

Yikes. Oh no. I’m still confused where this problem like started. Like I wanna know what happened before they went off and got married. Was there a relationship with his family? How did they all treat each other then? What happened? It, I, it always amazes me, I dunno if amaz is the right word, but things go bad so quickly. Like a couple of the brides I’ve talked to are like, yeah, we got along great. Like everything was fine. And then we got engaged. I saw a new side of her, or you know, they went wedding dress shopping and she had to have a white dress. You know, like it just changes so quickly. Like this personality or something that they’re like festering or holding onto just comes outta nowhere and they’re like, this is not the person I knew before we got engaged.

Um, I would like to hear, um, from more mother-in-laws. I wanna hear other perspectives. I always hear, and I’m not in, not in this scenario, I’m not calling this right out. ’cause I, I feel so badly for her, but I get, ’cause mother-in-laws will message me and they’ll be like, this is terrible. Like, I, you know, I would never treat my daughter-in-law, son-in-law this way.

Um. But, and then I get on the other end, I get mother-in-laws that’ll say like, you’re only showing terrible mother-in-laws. But most of my stories are from brides. So I just get their perspective. But I would love to hear from mother-in-laws and tell me other perspectives, um, so we can share them. Okay.

“Six months before our wedding, my husband had a health scare. At the same time, his brother was diagnosed with prostate cancer.” Wow. “His brother’s case turned out to be worse than expected, and everyone panicked, assuming my husband had it too. We didn’t have insurance at the time, but we made a plan. I tried to keep things positive, telling his sisters to stop with the doom and gloom and sending them articles about how treatable prostate cancer can be. A month before the wedding, none of his family had RSVP’d. He kept following up with his older brother finally called and said the family didn’t want us to have our church wedding, that they didn’t think I supported my husband.” So they’re just all gonna not go. Oh my gosh. That is honestly shocking because I feel like in a lot of these stories I read, they still end up going, there’s a lot of hurt here.

“For once my husband stood up for me. He told them that he knew I, he told them he knew I had his back and that I did more for him than any of them ever did. Eventually, they RSVP’d, but I was furious. I told my husband that after the wedding we were going to need a serious sit down because enough was enough.”

I don’t know what’s gonna happen, obviously, but that would stress me out. Knowing all these people that hate me and just told my husband they didn’t wanna come and celebrate us because they don’t think I support him, would break my heart. That would like rip me to stress. Um. So it’s like how do you enjoy your wedding day knowing your future husband’s family, or I guess it’s her husband already, husband’s family doesn’t like you.

Like that would just be so uncomfortable. “Then came the wedding day. Every woman in his family showed up wearing black.” Oh. Oh no, that’s intentional. Like I talked about this, not that, like not that long ago, like I’ve worn black to weddings before, but like certain weddings, like if you’re doing it as a guest and it’s like a wedding style dress, it’s fine, but when every woman’s wearing it, that’s a reason. That’s a reason.

“His mother refused to take photos with me at the church, which caused chaos with the photographer. His siblings avoided pictures too. My kids gave speeches with thinly veiled references to people not accepting us as a couple. Ooh. At one point his dad pulled me aside to dance out of his wife’s view later during the family group.” Okay, wait. “His dad pulled me aside to dance out of his wife’s view.” Yeah. Interesting. I’m guessing that’s, they’re still married. It’s the, it’s his mom and dad, so it makes me think that the dad does not support how the wife is treating her. “Later during the family group photos, I jumped in between his parents and smiled for the camera, putting my arms around them both.”

Oh, that’s a ballsy move. I, girl, I love it. I love that. For you. I, that couldn’t be me. That could not be me. Oh, wow. She’s just like, we’re family now. I’m here. “They didn’t stay at the hotel afterward. Didn’t come to the bar that night and skipped breakfast the next morning. It was awful.” I need to know more about this husband and wife here.

“My husband was heartbroken. He came from a big family, yet not one of them celebrated with us. Oh, and before the wedding. When I asked Christina for a list of family addresses, she kept dodging me. When we finally asked his mom who she wanted to invite, she said, no one. So my family ended up being about 75% of the guest list. We separated 18 months after the wedding.” No, I did not see that coming. Okay, so we don’t know if the separation had to do with the wedding, but here are my guesses, just based on reading this. I feel like the pressure of the family got to be too much. We don’t know anything within their relationship, but she talks about them fighting a lot and this taking a toll on them.

And that’s the thing. That’s what they say is like when you marry into a family or you marry someone, you are marrying their family. I mean, obviously it depends on how close they’re with their family, how close the family lives, but. If you’re walking into something like this where they don’t like you right off the bat, they make you the villain.

No matter what you do, it’s gonna be hard and your partner has to, has to actively choose you every day over your family. And if they’re gonna make comments and they’re going to show up to your wedding, all wearing black and make negative, you know, comments about you, they’re better off just not coming.

And he has to be able to decide what’s more important to him. And again, we don’t know why they separated, but I would put big money on. It’s because of the family dynamic. He probably ultimately was like, ‘Hey, this isn’t gonna work. I can’t cut my family out. They don’t like you. We’re fighting all the time. I’m not happy, whatever that is. Um, I’m so sorry. I hope you find happiness’ and um, gosh, that. That’s like a stressful, stressful situation. Um, and I hope you guys are all, are you, you? I hope you guys are both better off now because of it. Um, and that, uh, you can both find, find happiness beyond that. 

All right.Well that was, that was a wild story. It kind of reminded me of like Ferris and Sloan, for anyone that’s read it, um, the story that, that’s now my book. I’m not trying to push it on you, but, um, you know, like Kate not immediately not liking his, his girlfriend now fiance, now wife, um, just right off the bat and nothing they can do can, can fix it, but, spoiler alert, Ferris ultimately chooses Sloan because he sees that what his mom is doing is not right. So, I don’t know. I want you guys to weigh in though. Tell me what you guys think about the situation. What, what do you think happened? And, um, yeah, I’m, I’m curious. I’m curious about it.

Confessions, Chaos & Champagne Thieves: The Wildest Wedding Secrets Yet

All right. Last segment is our confessions. I know I don’t always do these, but I like to throw them in here every once in a while. These are confessions people send me on Instagram, so here we go. ” One bridesmaid. I regret asking pushed my maid of honor out from as many pictures as she could.” I’m wondering, do you regret asking this bridesmaid before or after this happened because. If you regretted it from the beginning, then it’s a sign that we should maybe just like dismiss people. Um, yikes. Yeah. I mean, I’ve heard of people like asking someone early on and later on being like, I think I should not have them in the wedding. And you know what? Let’s normalize it. It’s kind of like a job, right?

If you’re their boss and you hired them, if they’re no longer doing the work or just something’s not vi, you can be like, ‘Hey, I don’t think it’s gonna work anymore. Um, you know, maybe you can just come as a guest.’ ‘Cause that sounds like there’s already some issues there.

All right. “My husband had two best men. One punched the other because his girlfriend fell and helped her to stand.” That sounds like some real, um, I’m trying to say this in like a clean way. Small dick energy. Sorry. I’m just gonna say it.

What? Just because you’re the other best man helped your girlfriend because she fell, you’re that insecure that you have to punch him in the face. I would hope that if any of my girlfriends fell near my husband that he would help them up. And I think my friend’s, husbands and boyfriends and partners wouldn’t be mad about that.

This just reads like some really insecure guy. Okay. “Got kicked out and almost punched for refusing to hug someone.” What kinda weddings are we going to guys? No. What is happening here? I’m so sorry. Um, “groom’s aunt hip checked mother of bride’s best friend as the best friend was saying Goodbye.” Wow. These are some violent and touchy people.

“One of my guests peed in the venue driveway at my wedding.” Cool. “Didn’t know a winter wedding was outdoors and wore a cream jacket, looked like I wore white.” That’s hard when it’s like you have to wear a coat outside and you’re not thinking about it. Um, I’ve seen that happen and it’s, it’s innocent. I mean, if you’re wearing a coat and there’s photos outside, what are you supposed to do? I don’t know. It happens.

“Someone opened and drank a gifted bottle of champagne for our, from our gift table. We had an open bar.” That’s just rude. That sounds like someone was already drunk and thought it would be funny.

“Told another guest off for talking on the phone during the best man’s speech.” I mean, good for you. If someone’s calling you during a wedding reception, get out of there. Go outside. Like you don’t need to be sitting there taking a phone call. That’s just phone call. Et etiquette though, I honestly, I, one of my biggest, biggest pet peeves is when I’m at a grocery store or some kind of store checking out and the person next to me is checking out and they’re just blabbing on their phone.

Well, the person, the porch cashier is like, ‘hi, how are you? Thanks for shopping.’ Whatever. And they’re just talking like, ‘yeah, whatever. Bagot.’ I’m like, no, get off your phone. It’s not that hard. Um, but I’m also someone that’s never on my phone. Like, I hate talking on the phone with a, with a passion. Um, if someone’s calling me, I am, I am assuming it’s detrimental. Like someone’s in the hospital, it’s bad. I dunno if that’s, is that a millennial thing? Someone told me.

Okay. Last one. I know I’m having so much fun reading these. “The night before the wedding, these drunk girls woke us up being so loud, so I made of honor yelled at them.” You go, girl, sounds to me like you are in a hotel. These things happen. I just assume when I stay at a hotel, I’m found to get woken up by something, whether it’s a kid running down the hall, drunk, people getting home late. It just, it happens at hotels all the time. I don’t know if it just happens here and there. Sure. But I have been to somewhere. It’s like nonstop running down the hall, banging on doors, like, okay, like let’s calm down a little bit.

All right. Those are some wild confessions, wild story. Thanks for hanging out with me this week. If you love this episode, please do me a huge favor. Share it with a friend. Take a screenshot. Share it on your So socials, whatever it is, tag me. I love seeing it. I love seeing where you’re tuning in from, whether it’s on your commute while you’re working or just relaxing at night because apparently we’re a top leisure podcast.

Um, which is funny because people always comment how like, I help help, I dunno if it’s help’s the right word. I raise your blood pressure while sharing these stories. So I’m really sorry. Maybe I should start doing more like calming stories. Would you guys like that? So more like relaxing and calming, uh, you know.

Romantic comedy stories, we can mix it up and don’t forget to share the podcast by leaving a quick review. It’s the best way to help people discover the show. So if you have some suggestions or stories or a wedding dilemma you want me to cover, please submit them at the link in the show notes. I also have my Google form where you can submit wedding stories.

I have hundreds and hundreds that I’m. Slowly working my way through. Um, they help inspire many of the skits and stories that I share on my podcast and YouTube as well. But again, thanks for listening and I will see you next time. Bye now.


Highlights, Hard Truths & an Unexpected Wedding Crasher with Bailey Lavender

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

Get the book!

What happens when wedding day expectations clash with reality?

From boundary-crossing vendors to guests who take things a little too far, this episode unpacks the chaos that unfolds when people forget who the day is really about.

Bailey Lavender joins me for a candid chat on green flags, red flags, and how to set boundaries without being labeled a “bridezilla.” We share laughs, lessons, and real talk about communication, kindness, and staying true to yourself, no matter what drama comes your way.

Because at the end of the day, the best weddings aren’t perfect, they’re honest, intentional, and unapologetically you.

JOIN ME IN GREECE OCTOBER 2026!

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month! 

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

01:03 The Evolution of Skit Content

02:13 Bailey’s Background and Journey

04:24 Mental Health and Social Media

07:45 Wedding Stories and Advice

14:47 Hair Trends and Client Relationships

25:00 Red Flags and Green Flags: Wedding Edition

32:06 Effective Wedding Communication Tips

33:05 Handling Embarrassing Toasts

35:13 The Uninvited Seamstress

36:39 Navigating Vendor Boundaries

43:15 The Importance of Professionalism

57:07 Cherishing Wedding Memories

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • The Seamstress Saga – A wedding vendor takes “involvement” way too far, crossing professional boundaries and ruining key moments.
  • When Vendors Forget Their Job – Christa and Bailey share why staying in your lane is crucial on someone else’s wedding day.
  • The Bridesmaid Balancing Act – How to set limits and choose roles you can actually handle with love, not guilt.
  • Boundaries ≠ Bridezilla – Why being firm about your expectations doesn’t make you difficult—it makes you wise.
  • Kindness vs. People-Pleasing – Bailey opens up about learning when to say no to protect her peace (and her friendships).
  • The Power of Professionalism – From photographers to coordinators, why doing your job well means knowing when to step back.
  • The Cost of “Yes” Culture – How saying yes to everything can actually hurt the people you’re trying to help.
  • Reclaiming the Moment – The bride’s plan to recreate her photos becomes a lesson in healing and taking back joy.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  • “Being firm with your boundaries doesn’t make you a bridezilla—it makes you smart.” – Christa Innis
  • “You can’t do it all, and saying yes to everything can actually hurt the people you’re trying to help.” – Christa Innis
  • “Knowing your friends, and your limits, is key to surviving wedding season with your sanity intact.” – Christa Innis
  • “It’s okay to decline being in a wedding if it’s not the right fit. Support can still look like showing up as a guest.” – Christa Innis
  • “There’s a reason rules exist, because someone somewhere broke them first.” – Christa Innis
  • “You have to show up wholeheartedly for what they’re asking of you, or you’re letting them down.” – Bailey Lavender
  • “I can’t enjoy your day if I’m on the clock—so pick one: stylist or bridesmaid.” – Bailey Lavender
  • “They forget it’s somebody’s important day and start thinking, ‘What can I get out of this?’” – Bailey Lavender
  • “Not all kindness means saying yes, sometimes it means standing firm and protecting your peace.” – Bailey Lavender
  • “Those Type A brides? They’ve got it right, they’re just making sure nothing ruins their day.” – Bailey Lavender

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

About Bailey:

Bailey Lavender is a vibrant hairstylist and digital creator known for her bold aesthetic and engaging online presence. She shares hair transformations, fashion finds, and lifestyle content across platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube. With a passion for creative color work and community events like the San Antonio Hair Show, Bailey blends artistry with influence, inviting followers into her world of beauty, style, and self-expression.

Follow Bailey:

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi Bailey. Hi. Thank you so much for coming on. I’m so excited to talk to you.

Bailey Lavender: Thank you for inviting me. I really appreciate you being letting me on here.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I was just saying before we started, I was, it’s so fun to be able to do this podcast and connect with people. ’cause like I’ve watched your content for so long and I love like just seeing the different skit content out there and I just feel like it’s, it’s so entertaining and I feel like people actually like learn a lot and take away a lot from it.

Bailey Lavender: That was kind of my original plan was with the skits. It’s like unintentionally teaching my clients and new people. I need the, how I need them to act. And if they’re not my client, maybe someone else will learn from this as well. Um, and then it ended up being very relatable to a lot of people that weren’t even in the hair industry, like some restaurant workers or retail workers or whatever.

And I just, I’ve really enjoyed it. And so now I don’t have any horrible stories of my own anymore. ’cause I’ve already told all of them. So all of mine are sent in now from all like other people’s stories.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. I know, it’s kind of funny how it evolves, like when you first start creating content and then you’re like, Ooh, people are really liking this, or this just popped up.

So I wanna share this. ’cause like I, I started just sharing like some wedding tips and stuff and then I was sharing like. Things I’ve seen at weddings are experienced. And then I just did a skit one day about like a wild, like it was like something I don’t even remember if I like saw it somewhere. And then people just love seeing the skit content ’cause it’s, it’s relatable and it’s also like helps I think with, like you said, like with conversations and how to act in certain scenarios or what’s okay.

And maybe what’s not. Okay. Well,

Bailey Lavender: I agree. I agree.

From Skits to Self-Awareness and Protecting Your Peace Online

Christa Innis: Yeah. So before I get too far into that, can you just tell everyone a little bit about who you are, what you do, and then maybe a little bit more about your content as well.

Bailey Lavender: So, hi, if you don’t know me, I’m Bailey Lavender. I’ve been a hairstylist since I was 18.

I just turned 31. Um, I am based out of Shelby, North Carolina, but I was for a very long time in Greenville, South Carolina. I started doing hair skits right around COVID time. Like, I feel like a lot of people hit the ground running with TikTok then. Mm-hmm. Um, and it was at first just for entertainment purposes.

I was a theater kid, and so I was just like, you know what? Let’s have fun with this. I never expected anything to come of it. And then over time I started catching a following. I started really enjoying myself. It was kind of therapeutic, so I was telling stories of that I had gone through. Mm-hmm. And it was like the, the responses that I wish I had given.

Right. Um, instead of just being so me and mild at the time. And so then it evolved to the, where I was. Uh, considered a skit girl, right? Where I was only posting skits, but it started getting overwhelming, um, because people didn’t know me for who I was. And so I started sharing pieces of me and who I am and what my life looks like.

And now I’m kind of a combo of many different things on my page, you’ll see me doing hair transformations on new clients, me working on old clients and showing you their evolution of hair to being a mom now, or just my day-to-day life, relatable stuff. And then once a week t or once a month, typically I’ll throw in a skit, um, like a series just because I really enjoy doing skits, but I don’t want it to be my entire identity.

Christa Innis: Yes, I love that. So what was that shift like for you and how was the response? Because I mean. I feel like there’s times where I feel like when you start talking about like the skit identity, I can, I kind of get that sometimes. And I feel like sometimes people think I, I work for them and it’s kind of stressful ’cause like I, I’m a mom as well and so it’s like balancing that and balancing my job and I’m just like, okay, I gotta do a skit.

And my husband’s like, hi, I’m here too. So how was that like for you to kind of like switch a little bit to showing a little more you and personality? Like how was, how do people accept that or perceive that at first.

Bailey Lavender: some people didn’t like it and it was one of those moments where I had to reflect back and figure out what made me happy.

Right? And I was in the, in the process of always looking for something negative someone would do around me, right? Mm-hmm. Either so a client and really hone in on that and do a skit about it. And it, it was me focusing on too much negativity in my life. And I’m a firm believer if you look for a negative, you’re gonna find it.

Um, same with happiness, right? Or joy. And so I had to shift that for my own mental health because I was constantly looking for the negative. And so changing that, a lot of people were unhappy, but I was like, listen, for my own mental health, I have to change this up a little bit. Um, and some people, like I said, they were in my comment section, like, jump monkey jump.

You better hurry up and make me a skit, otherwise I’m not gonna follow your stuff. And it was like, you know, listen, I’m a human and I have a job. I have a kid, I have, well, at the time I didn’t have a kid, but I have other things going on in my life. I wanna share who I am and I want you to get to know who I am outside of being a character on a screen for you.

And some people didn’t like it and they left and have never come back. Um, some people say, I’ve not seen your stuff in forever. I’ve missed your face. I’m so glad that you’re doing so well. It just, the ebb and flow of social media, you never really know what people are gonna react like.

Christa Innis: Yeah, but that’s such a healthy boundary that you set too, where you’re like, this is me and I need to protect my mental health.

Because it is so easy, I think, to get caught up in like the comments or what people say, and it kind of can take the joy out of it. If you feel like you’re then working for, instead of like one boss at a, at a corporate job, you’re working for hundreds and millions that are following you and then you’re like, okay, wait, but they said they like this.

They said they don’t like this. So I feel like that was really like so awesome of you to be like, wait, who am I? What’s important to me? If, if I lose people along the way, that’s okay. And I feel like ultimately you’re gonna have more people that are gonna be interested in you because you’re more true to yourself then.

Bailey Lavender: I, so I was doing skits, like I said, hardcore for a while. Um, and then I had a friend that I lost due to mental health reasons. And in that timeframe, I really started hitting the ground heavy of pushing mental health videos. Um, and the views weren’t even that great on it, but I didn’t care. I wanted to make sure that if I, it was helping a single person that was, that mattered to me.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Bailey Lavender: And that kind of was my stepping stone into creating something that wasn’t just drama filled or, um, didn’t have any mal, or, what’s the word? It didn’t have any like substance behind it. There’s this. Mm-hmm. And I really enjoyed making that, where it was like, I’m more than just a character. And that was like the stepping stone for me to see what else was out there within social media.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I love that. I feel like that’s really powerful. And I think it’s, it’s, it’s a good reminder too for people listening because like, like what I try to focus on too is like I try to show like how to have good boundaries, like in skits and stuff. And you made a an interesting point too about you started off by saying like, this is what things I wanted to say in certain scenarios, but maybe more like people pleaser.

’cause that’s me. Like, I’m more like, I’m afraid to say things, you know, in person. I don’t like conflict. So I feel like when I was getting these stories sent to me, I was like, I wanna show brides, like how they can like, you know, have, have a safe and like kind boundary and that’s that it’s okay. Um, but I think it’s good for them, for people listening to this too, to be like in other areas of your life, like, okay, let’s listen to my mental health and, and, um, stay true to myself for sure.

Finding Confidence in Community and Self-Expression

Bailey Lavender: And I’m sure you get some crazy stories because I have a few friends that they only work in the wedding industry and the wedding world is even crazier, I feel like, than the salon world.

Christa Innis: Yeah. So yeah, it’s kind, I get, it’s, when I first started this, I had just been like, I’ve been a bridesmaid like 10 times.

My, my audience is probably sick of me saying that, but I’ve been a bridesmaid, I’ve been on on a lot of weddings and then I was a bride myself and then I’ve helped Dave coordinating, right? And so I’ve saw, I saw some kind of crazy things or heard things, you know, that happen. Nothing, nowhere near to the extent of the stories that people send me.

And I just feel for these difficult relationships and like with in-laws or with cousins or whoever it is, siblings. And, um, so that’s why I feel like I’m trying to like, empower them in a different way, but. It’s hard. You get, you get lost in the shuffle with all, I mean, there’s so many stories that people tell, so it’s, it’s kind of chaotic.

So what, what kind of, like, I know you got, you’ve gone viral for skits and hair transformations. What’s one like video that you put out that you’re just like really proud of or like something that people really resonated with, whether it’s behind the scenes, your personal life or hair? Um.

Bailey Lavender: I have an array of different things that I have been proud of.

When I posted on social media, one of them was me being able to finally share my adoption of my son. Um, that resonated with a lot of different people. Um, it was one of those problems ’cause a lot of people had watched our journey of dating to getting married, to wanting to grow our family, wanting to carry first and then adopt because I am getting older and, you know, you start getting into where it turns into a geriatric pregnancy.

So then when, um, fertility just didn’t seem like it was gonna go our way, that’s when we were like, all right now to what we were gonna do next, which was adoption. And it fell into our hands. And that was a beautiful experience. Being able to share that with my followers because. So many of them were so encouraging, so kind.

And of course you get hate online. And I had the horrific messages from people, um, as well. But the good at what outweighed the bad and they were so kind, so uplifting. But I also had like career achievements where I went from a girl who was working a salon who the owner hated me and she genuinely made me want to leave the career altogether to now where I am able to share where I’m going on to stages and teaching at these huge hair shows.

And because of social media, I am able to, where I was terrified to post my own work behind the chair because it didn’t look like some of my friends who are these vivid artists.

Christa Innis: Mm.

Bailey Lavender: And now they’ve encouraged me to post my work because I do do good work. It’s just not the same as theirs. It looks very different ’cause they’re doing rainbows where I’m doing, lived in blondes.

Mm-hmm. And so I was scared to post it. But because of my friends that I’ve surrounded myself because of social media. Mm-hmm. But also the followers that I have, that I, when I meet them out in public, they like run up to me and they’re so excited and proud of me for like something that I recently posted, how they, it resonated with them.

And it’s more than a number, it’s a community if you do it the right way. Yes.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Absolutely. I love that. I love that. There’s such beauty in social media and connection. Um, and like you said, growing that community because it’s so easy to feel alone in certain aspects of your life or like career parenthood, how you do things.

And there’s, I feel like there’s always someone that’s going through something similar or can relate or resonate in some way. And I think that’s truly the beauty of it. And like you said, you started all this during 2020 COVID, things were rough. We didn’t really know what the future was gonna look like.

Um, and so I feel like a lot of people found connection through that time, through social media. And it saved I think a lot of people being able to be like, okay. Here’s my new community, we’re gonna wake this work

Bailey Lavender: well because at the time we weren’t allowed to connect. And as a hairstylist, I’m used to seeing many different people in my chair in just a singular day and then going to feeling isolated and was training my dog.

And that was about it. Like I felt very alone in that time. And so social media, it was my therapy at the time.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yeah. You gotta like lean into like what’s gonna make you feel better and allow you to connect. And I feel like connection is such a powerful thing. And I’m sure you can say with like, with motherhood too, that’s such a powerful thing.

Um, before I did this, I worked for a motherhood brand and that was like, one of the things I always helped was like, grow communities with moms because. It can be so isolating if you’re in like a rough spot and you’re like, oh my gosh, I’m the only one that’s dealing with, you know, potty training or whatever it is.

But it’s like the second you text a friend or like someone talk to someone in your community and you’re like, Hey, this is what’s going on. They’re like, that exact same thing happened to me. You’re okay mama. Like, you know,

Bailey Lavender: I have a friend Meg, me, Meg hair, and she had her baby almost nine months exactly after Kayden was born.

Christa Innis: Oh wow.

Bailey Lavender: And it’s very sweet and funny to me because she’ll hit these milestones and every so often she’ll call me and she’s like, is this normal? And I’m like, yeah baby, we did that. We’re good. You’re good. No worries. Or she’ll be teething or something new will happen and she’ll call and she’ll be worried that it’s abnormal or she’s not supposed to be hitting those milestones or whatever at the time.

And like you said, the camaraderie of like finding people, not just that have been through raising a child, but are going through it currently with you. Mm-hmm. It makes a huge difference. I have a friend. That she actually will be giving birth tomorrow. Um, she’s getting induced and through her pregnancy, she’s not done it.

But I really wanted her to post her her story. ’cause her story, I’m not gonna get into it ’cause her story to tell, but her story is very different. And I wanted her to share her story because she felt so alone. And I’m like, no, I want you to share it because there are so many people that will relate with you.

And I’ve never been through it, but I know that if you get it out there, you’re gonna help someone else and you’re gonna feel better about it.

Christa Innis: Yes, 100%. That’s someone I used to work with had, um, a very rare set of twins when she was pregnant. They were called mono, mono, mono twins. And which means, I think it means they’re, someone’s probably gonna correct me, listen, so I wanna say they’re both, they’re born in the same sac and they share the same umbilical.

I don’t, I can’t remember, but it’s very, it’s very rare. It’s like one out of like. A hundred thousand or something crazy. Right. And I remember her like telling me about it. She like came on and talked about it and when we posted it was like a community of like mono, mono twin moms commenting. And it was just like, I think all 10 in the last 10 years were like, found it somehow through search.

’cause they’re like, oh, I’m able to connect with someone. And it’s such a powerful tool I feel like in all aspects of just connection in the right way, like you said.

Bailey Lavender: Yeah. Well, twins in general are so interesting to me. If you’ve heard of like twin telepathy and all the things, like I, I genuinely think twins are so cool and then there is like tiny little, like, I don’t know the correct word for it, but like, different divisions of twins and their different connections and how they like relate with each other and how they can be in different spots and know the other one.

Something’s wrong with the other one. It’s just, it’s cool. Uh, that is a neat little story. Yeah.

Christa Innis: It’s, it’s so interesting to, um. To, yeah, to hear that and to connect in that way. Um, okay. Kind of going, going into your, your expertise in hair, what do you, okay, let’s talk about like current lifestyles. What’s one like hair transformation that you, I know you said you like the, um, what’d you call it?

The, the, the blo, what’d you call it? The relaxed, lived in

Bailey Lavender: blondes.

Christa Innis: Lived in blonde. That speaks to me ’cause I’m like, I’m so bad with getting my hair done. Mm-hmm. I just went for the first time last week after a year. Mm-hmm. So, um, I love the lived in blonde. Um, what’s like a current trend that you are loving with hair or what do you think is a piece of advice that all people should know when it comes to their hair?

Not to put you on the spot. I know it’s kind. Oh.

Bailey Lavender: So I actually, this one’s gonna speak to hair shells. I got one that I love about hair right now and one that I hate about hair right now. Okay. A lot of hair. I’m gonna start with the hate. Um, a lot of people within the hair industry are seeing where we’re going through a recession right now.

Right. And they are leaning into that and, and deeming a certain hair trend, which is like a low maintenance blonde, the recession blonde. And I don’t, I hate that terminology with a passion because it makes it feel like, it makes it feel negative to me. Mm. That is my personal opinion. It makes it feel negative to me.

I’d never want any of my clients to feel like I’m pushing a service onto them because they can’t afford it. That is not, they’re not, I’m not in their wallet. If they can afford it, absolutely, I can tell them the reasons of why I think a service will be best for them, but because our economy is not the best point right now is not one of those reasons, and I cannot stand that terminology love on the other side.

I love that a lot of people are starting to embrace what they want to do. For so long, I heard so many of my clients say the terminology of like, well, my husband prefers X, Y, Z and of course I get people want to like make their spouse, husband like happy. I, I fully understand that. But there’s starting to be more of this independency of, if I feel good, my spouse will love me.

End of story, period. They, they married me for me and this is gonna make me happy. And so many people, and kudos to the spouses that encourage. Their partners to do what makes them happy. I’m seeing more and more of that, and I genuinely feel like it’s making a change in relationships between hairstylist client and the client and their spouse.

Yes. And

Christa Innis: I think then they can probably leave feeling so much better too. Like, oh, I’m not just like checking a box of like what they like to see me in. Mm-hmm. Um, I feel like that applies to like wedding stories too. I’ve seen too, like, so, so many times that rides right in, they like do something that like, oh, what will so and so, like, what does so and so want to see?

And I think one thing we’re getting better at, and I don’t know if it’s like a millennial thing or what, but um, getting better at like, no, this makes me feel good. Like, I’m gonna do this for me. And it’s not selfish. It’s because like I deserve it. You know, or it’s like I deserve to feel just as good as that person does.

So I love that.

Bailey Lavender: So I’ve seen, which you probably see this as well, but since being a hairstylist, I talk to a lot of different people about they’re going to someone’s wedding or they’re planning a wedding. And I don’t do wedding here myself. Currently. I’m thinking about getting back into it because I have a friend who doesn’t and it, uh, she makes it look enjoyable.

Yeah. But, um, I see a lot of people that are going to weddings and for a super long time, a lot of brides required everyone to look identical.

Christa Innis: Hmm. And

Bailey Lavender: unfortunately trying to make everyone look identical, no one did. And it threw everything off. Bridesmaids were not feeling beautiful in their dressings.

’cause it did, it wasn’t made for them. Or their hairstyle. It doesn’t work for their face. Or you could just tell they felt off or icky in their own skin. You want that person to feel gorgeous on a day that you’re celebrating altogether. And I’m seeing more and more of these brides be like, no, this is my wedding day, but I still want you to feel beautiful.

And they’re like, just be like, Hey, find a dress that makes you feel pretty within this color palette or within this style. Wear your hair exactly how you want, but just don’t wear it exactly like mine. Like it there, there’s way more leniency in the bridal world equaling out with the hair world. Yeah. Um, and it’s, it’s creating this inclusivity that I’m loving.

Christa Innis: Yes, I know. I love it so much. ’cause some of the, yeah, some of the earlier weddings I was in, it was like a uniform. Yeah. Like you put on this dress and it’s like. It’s fine. We’re all, we all match. Exactly. Luckily, I don’t think I’ve ever been in one where we had to match the hair and dress, but it’s like dress in shoes.

Exactly. Um, but I’ve seen a lot of weddings where it’s like, hair has to all be an updo, hair has to be like this. And it’s like, what if that doesn’t look good on me? I don’t feel like myself. Um, but yeah, I, I’ve been seeing more and more like, pick, pick any dress in this color family or pick any dress from this website.

And I’m like, I love that too, because we’re all different. We all have different body types and I just feel like you want, you want your people up there to feel comfortable in their own skin too.

Knowing Your Role, Setting Boundaries, and Showing Up Right on the Big Day

Bailey Lavender: One of my friends, a few years ago, she had a wedding and she did the, the style where like she has the color and the style that she wants, but the, how it’s constructed, you get to choose as a bridesmaid.

She just wanted everybody in something a little different than one another. And I didn’t fully understand it at the time because when she was getting married it was kind of abnormal for that. And then looking at every single bridesmaid, there was me who is tall. There was another girl who was short.

There’s one who was ex had extreme chest, right? Like very big compared to mine. And I was in like a strapless dress. And she, looking at her, I was like, strapless dress would not have looked good on you. Or not even not look good. It would not felt good on her. Yeah. And it just, it was one of those moments that was eyeopening to me of like, you care about every single person in your wedding party, not just about your day.

Christa Innis: Yes, 100%. You want your people to feel just as good as you do. And I’ve seen the weddings where it’s like they’re put all in this like form fitting strapless dress and everyone’s

 just there and like you can tell when people don’t feel comfortable, but they’re just gonna like suck it up. And yeah, I did something similar at mine.

Like it was like, I think it was like. Any of the mo of col like shades they could pick. And some did strapless, some did, um, lower cuts. Some did sho like sleeves. And I knew everyone has their own insecurities and their own favorite parts of their body that they can just, you know, they, they wanna accentuate.

Um, same with like hair and makeup too. I was like, do what you want with your hair and makeup. Get it done or don’t, I don’t care. I want you to feel like you. Um, so I feel like that pressure too in some ways. I know there’s some very extreme wedding industry where it’s like, you still gotta do follow my uniform.

But I do see, I feel like overall you’re right about that.

Bailey Lavender: I think it truly is based upon who you’re friends with, right? Where you understand your friends, you understand if someone is extremely Type A and they want something a specific way, and they have to have that vision their entire life. Um, none of my friends are that way because I am not that kind of person and I struggle to be a Type A and a lot of times the weddings that I see, they’re all like the Type A bride.

They’re all kind of that way. So it works. Like I’ve seen brides that they have, I mean down to timeframe of when they’re eating breakfast and when they’re brushing their teeth, type of like schedule Uhhuh and all of their bridesmaids work that way. And so it works for their wedding. Yes. Where any, any wedding I’ve ever been in, it’s not formulated like that because I don’t have friends like that because I am a bad friend to a type A person.

Christa Innis: Yes. No, I totally get that. Yes. Knowing your friends is like. Is key. So I always say in like a lot of these bridesmaid stories I get where I’m like, if, if it’s not communicated ahead of time or you feel like you’re being asked of something that is like outta your comfort zone, you can decline. It’s okay to decline and just be like, this is not the right, I’d rather come as a guest or you know, vice versa.

Like if it’s just not a good match, it’s okay. I know there’s sometimes hurt feelings, but I feel like it’s better to just. Be like, you know what? I’d rather just support you and be there as a guest and I don’t wanna spend all, you know, thousands of dollars on a bachelorette with all new clothes or, you know, whatever that ask is.

And have those boundaries. For sure. Yeah.

Bailey Lavender: I was asked to be in a wedding a few years ago, and I had to have the very un uncomfy conversation with her that she took phenomenally, because like I said, I’m very pick picky about the people I have around me.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Bailey Lavender: And she wanted me to do hair for the wedding, but then she also wanted me a bridesmaid and I was like, listen, I would love to do one or the other.

Yeah. Whichever one you prefer me to be in, I will do, but I cannot do both, because she had like a ton of bridesmaids and I was like, I can’t enjoy your day if I’m on the clock so I can do your hair and mine and be a bridesmaid, or I can do everybody’s. So you’re gonna have to choose.

Christa Innis: I love that you said that because that relates to a lot of the stories that we’ve gotten to where it’s like.

People will ask someone that’s already a part of the wedding or a family member will come in and be like, I’ll be your photographer. And they also wanna be a guest. They also wanna be the aunt. And it’s like, just be either a friend that day, family member, or be a vendor. It’s hard to do all things and really, because you, you like, you hear about the photographer where it’s like, then they don’t get the photos or it’s like they’re distracted talking to somebody so they’re not taking the photos, you know?

So I think it’s a lot. Yeah, that was like such like a good way to communicate that.

Bailey Lavender: I think it’s important not only as someone who gets to be able to attend such a special day, that you pay attention to what your goal is in that moment, right? Mm-hmm. Is my goal to support her. ’cause I was there for the bride.

Is my goal to support her on the wedding day as a bridesmaid or. Right, because those are two vastly different things and I have to show up in the best way for her that day. So if you’re a photographer that day, you better be making sure you’re giving her the best photos of her entire life. ’cause this is an important day, or the bridesmaid or whatever it is, I believe on an important day, you have to show up wholeheartedly for what they’re asking of you.

And if you don’t, then you’re letting them down. And I refuse to let people down like that.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. I love that. That’s great advice because I feel like a lot of times too, we wanna be able to do it all for our friends. We say, yes, yes, yes. But in the long run, that can actually hurt them or hurt who you are as like whatever job they’re asking you to do. Like you can’t do it all. It’s just not possible. And you can be a better friend by being like this or this. 

Red Flags, Green Flags, and Wedding Chaos

Okay. I wanna do, before we get to the main story that we’re gonna react to, and we’re gonna do a little this or that, it’s a red flag verse green flag. So I’m gonna read a statement and you’re gonna tell me if it’s a red flag or green flag.

Um, I think most of the time they’re pretty obvious, but some will, will toy back and forth with. Okay. Um, here we go. Your future mother-in-law gets her hair styled, almost identical to yours, and the guests keep complimenting her bridal look.

Bailey Lavender: I think it’s a great flag. I find it to be a compliment that you want my same hairstyle, but some people may, uh, defer.

I know. I,

Christa Innis: I think that’s a very good way to look at it too, because like me, like I, I get along with my mother-in-law so well, and so like, she has better style than I do. She like know she’s so good with that stuff, so I wouldn’t take it personally or take it offensively either. Yes, yes. I said the white dress thing.

I’m like, if my grandma, my mom, or my mother-in-law came in a white dress, I would not have been mad. I would not have cared.

Bailey Lavender: See, like you said, I have a phenomenal relationship with my mother-in-law, but I also know that just because we have, if we do the same hairstyle, it’s gonna look different on her than it does on me.

She found inspiration. I mean, that’s what the internet is. The Pinterest, if you get on Pinterest, you’re gonna probably copy something that someone else has done. Because you think it’s beautiful? I don’t think it’s bad.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Um, okay. The photographer insists on group photos now, but one bridesmaid refuses because her hair is only halfway done.

Bailey Lavender: That’s complicated because of course I would want my mine to be done, so I feel like that’s a green flag. She doesn’t wanna ruin the bride’s pictures.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. I don’t think I would wanna start if my bridesmaid wasn’t done, because I feel

Bailey Lavender: like that’s the bridesmaid looking out for the bride. You can wait five more minutes to let this be finished so that she can get her pic, her perfect pictures.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I feel like that’s when a day of coordinator or wedding planner needs to come in and say, Hey photographer, we’re gonna wait five more minutes.

Bailey Lavender: You can go, let’s go do this instead. Yes,

Christa Innis: yes. Yeah. Because I feel like too, like a good day of coordinator or a good photographer will know how to quickly move around if like, oh, something’s gonna take a little bit longer, instead of forcing someone to be halfway done.

I would never want that for my bridesmaid. Um, the DJ plays the wrong song for your first dance, and instead of fixing it, he just keeps going.

Bailey Lavender: As a red flag because it happened to me. It did. It did. Oh, so I’ve been married twice. At my first wedding, we had like the whole shebang and the dj, it was a rarity that a single song that was played correctly happened.

And so I got mad and was like, why are we even paying this man? We should just played a Spotify playlist at this point. And so I say, red flag,

Christa Innis: oh my gosh, what did you guys do? Did you guys stop? And then like be like, Hey, can you,

Bailey Lavender: no. ’cause I didn’t want anybody else to know he was messing up. It was my day.

Christa Innis: Oh, like I’ve had it wrong. You’re so nice. I just saw a video where this happened. This girl posted about like their DJ experience, I can’t remember the account name now, but there was three different times. So during the ceremony, like they’re like literally doing their vows and he just starts blasting a song.

And then during their first dance, no cake cutting, he plays like a complete different song and they’re like, get about to like do the switch, whatever. And she just stopped. She’s like, this isn’t the song. And she’s like, I wasn’t afraid to say no because by this point it kept being like wrong place, wrong time music.

Like so good

Bailey Lavender: for her. I was not a confrontational person at the time. So like my walking down the aisle, wrong song, oh, uh, flower Girls, wrong song, first Dance, wrong song, daddy Daughter, wrong song. It was just like the, the, I’m telling you it was a rarity that the right song was played.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. And you just like went with it.

You’re just like, here we go.

Bailey Lavender: Uh, because I, my aunt at the time was a wedding coordinator and she and I had a very real conversation of it is a rarity that you will have. Everything go right on your wedding day. Yeah. It is not about the wedding day, it is about the marriage. Mm-hmm. And if you harp on this now, then everything will just be wrong because you’re gonna live in the negative.

So just let it go and keep going with your beautiful day.

Christa Innis: Yeah, no, that’s such a great point because I feel like, and, and I get mixed reviews in the comments when I say stuff like this, but I’m like, not like you’re causing more drama, but if you like stop everything or you stress about one thing not going exactly right, it is gonna weigh on you and then you’re gonna be thinking about it and then you’re gonna think about, how did I react to that?

Or did someone see that? Or you know, like that’s how my brain works anyways. Like if I do like put my foot down or say something, I’m like, did I come off rude? Oh my gosh, was there a picture? You know, was, was I doing something that I wouldn’t normally say? Um, so yeah, and even like these were like, I.

Relationship or drama, things that happen at weddings, I’m like, again, I got very lucky. I haven’t experienced that. I did not experience it at my own wedding. But some of these scenarios I’m like, for certain things I would just let it go On that day. Be in your wedding bliss. Ignore the little chatter that’s maybe happening, or someone that’s being negative because you don’t want it to take away, otherwise, you’re gonna just weigh on.

It’s gonna weigh on you and you’re just gonna be thinking about it. When you think about your wedding day.

Bailey Lavender: And also back to your friends surrounding you. I am big on, like at both of my weddings, I had the people that are most important to me, that know me the best, surrounded around me. And there was moments that something would go wrong and I could lean to one of them and say, dah, dah, dah, dah, something’s not right, blah, blah, blah.

And they would go handle it. They would go do it. And same for when I’ve been in weddings. Like there has been stepmothers sit in mother’s seats on the wedding day, and that was not okay. Like they were not close with the stepmother.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. And

Bailey Lavender: one of the bridesmaids went up there and handled it, and then they went back and got into line and we went on.

But like, yes, the bride, it should just be the bride and groom or whoever’s getting married. Not just bride and groom, but whoever’s getting married, they should just have a day of bliss. And if something goes wrong, someone else handle it or just let it be.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. I love that. All right, we’ve got a couple more and then we’ll get into the story.

Sorry if I’m going a little over on time. Do you have a, do you have a. We’re good. I’m good. All right, cool. All right, next one. The groom disappears with his friends for almost an hour during the reception. While guests are left waiting.

Bailey Lavender: Red flag,

Christa Innis: I like Yeah, I would say red flag. Red flag. Um, bride insists on a second.

Outfit change, but doesn’t tell anyone. Leaving the reception paused for 45 minutes.

Bailey Lavender: Girl. You need to practice this. Come on. I get things go wrong. It’s hard to get in and out of dresses, but like if you’re, if you guys are wanting a, a dress range of some sort, plan it properly. Don’t let people go hungry.

Don’t let people go be questioning what’s going on. Have something to distract them. If it’s gonna take you a while and get outta your dress, whatever it is, yeah. Plan accordingly. Because a lot of people are there to celebrate you and if you disappear, they’re like, what’s happening?

Christa Innis: Yes. There’s always gotta be something going on.

So if you disappear for a little bit, have music started or have appetizers out, whatever that is. Um, ’cause yeah, I, I just read a story where a girl set her and her groom or partner, they went for photos, but they didn’t tell anybody and the photographer didn’t tell anybody. So the parents thought they left and then they left.

And I’m like, how? How did they just go, oh, I guess the wedding’s over. Like, we’re just gonna go home. Like, I don’t know how that happens, but let’s

Bailey Lavender: communicate. Let’s not just leave. Mm-hmm. Just let somebody be the designator, communicate, communication person, whatever you wanna call it. Yes. Just communicate with everybody.

They’re there to celebrate you and your partner and your next life experience. Let, there are people around you. I’m very dramatic, so a lot of my people, if I came out was like, Hey, I want an outfit change so I can actually dance. Gimme a minute. Love y’all. Have a great time. Bye. Yeah. They’d be like, okay.

Christa Innis: Right. Yeah. And then they would just know, and like time goes fast at weddings, like they would know, but if they’re just like sitting there hungry, like waiting, they’re just gonna be like, okay, what’s, what is happening? Yes. Yeah. People don’t like not knowing. I feel like if people are fine waiting, if they just know what’s going on.

Bailey Lavender: Exactly. Some people have gotten babysitters and they are confused of what’s happening. They feel like you’re dragging your feet or something is happening and they’re like, listen. Crunch in here, I gotta get back to my kid, or I gotta do something else. And they’ve taken time outta their day to be there for you.

Respect them enough to also like inform them of what’s going on.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. 100%. Okay. Um, I got one more and then we’ll get into the story. Okay. A parent gives a toast that includes embarrassing childhood stories. The couple begged them not to share.

Bailey Lavender: It’s a red flag because my family, we do that out of love unless it’s like something bad, right?

Um, and we’re like, no, please don’t do that. But we giggle at the fact that it is still told, right? We know the ones that are are gonna be told. And so I feel like that one’s a wishy-washy one for me because it depends on the family dynamic. It depends on the friend dynamic and it depends on what kind of story it was.

Christa Innis: Yes, totally. I feel like there’s so many. It’s a big spectrum of like Yeah. What’s, accept, what’s acceptable and what’s not. It’s like your relationship with the parent. Mm-hmm. And your, I feel like maybe your sense of humor because Yeah. I feel like, like we had, like our best man in our wedding, like is hilarious.

And he gave, he said so many jokes and I’m like, if anyone else would’ve said some of those like that maybe we weren’t close with, obviously they wouldn’t have been at the wedding, but you know what I’m saying? Like, if it was something we weren’t close with, that would’ve been kind of weird. But like, because like he’s funny and like, we’re like, say whatever you want.

Like everyone was cracking up. So it’s always knowing, like I feel like it’s knowing your audience and like the relationship too of what’s Okay. Exactly. Yeah. Just some people don’t have the those cues,

Bailey Lavender: so I

Christa Innis: don’t know.

Bailey Lavender: Yes. I’ve been at a wedding before with my dad where someone got on stage and they got a hold of a microphone and you could tell that they were not instructed to do so.

And my dad, he’s a very large man and he knew the man and so he got up there and took the mic from him and just was like, it is so good that we’ve heard from him tonight. Everybody clap. And it was just like one of those moments, I was like, go, dad, thank you for saving this wedding. That is, and I think it’s, again, I keep coming back to this, who you surround yourself with.

Christa Innis: Yes. Oh, 100%. Oh my gosh. People, he needs to be like, at weddings where like, things might happen because I, the number of stories I’ve heard, I’ve seen stories of like people just passing mic or I’ve seen them, people just pass the mic around and it’s like an hour later waiting on dinner and you’re like, where are we still doing speeches?

And it’s just random

Bailey Lavender: and they’re saying the same things over and over. We’re so excited for Please write it down on the card. We wanna have fun. Yeah, we got DJ for a little bit longer on a dance.

Christa Innis: Yes. We’ve we’ve got an end time. We wanna, we wanna get to, yeah. Um, awesome. Yeah, I think that’s, that’s a great, um, great way to handle that.

The Seamstress Who Stole the Spotlight

Okay, let’s get into this week’s blind story, rea or blind story reaction. These are wedding stories that are sent to me, so here we go. I’ve not read it either. Here we go. Okay. I initially contacted a seamstress for simple alterations to a gown I already owned, but she insisted on designing my dream dress from scratch.

Throughout the process, she was kind and seemed genuine, genuinely excited to help, which made me trust her. Little did I know that on my wedding day, she would transform from a helpful vendor into an uninvited wedding. Crasher. Whoa. Okay. Overstaying her welcome and turning what should have been into a A beautiful day.

Into a nightmare. Oh, wait. She was supposed to help me into the dress and leave once I was ready, but she completely ignored my clear instructions. I told her several times she was free to go, yet she lingered as if she were on the guest list. It felt like she had no concept of boundaries or any awareness.

That she was supposed to, wasn’t supposed to be there. My friends who were there to help me get ready kept complaining about her presence because she constantly inserted herself into everything in her mind. She may have thought she was helping, but all she did was interfere and raw. My friends of their roles in supporting me.

After the ceremony, things only got worse. She repeatedly pulled me aside to fix the dress. I dragging me away from guests in photos. Ooh, that I would ha, I don’t know how I would react to this. Like, what are your thoughts so far? So

Bailey Lavender: it’s a double-edged sword because I understand the being prideful of the dress that she created and wanting to be there to experience it.

But in reality, it’s not your day. Ask for photos, ask if you can take pictures or whatever. Um. Uh, that is tough because ultimately I think my family would’ve just been like, Hey, thank you for coming. You can leave. But like, also as a hairstylist, I have been invited to a wedding to do hair before and there was no clear instructions of if they wanted me to stay and fix their hair throughout the night or if it was from time for me to go.

And so I had to just blatantly ask, what do you want of me? Um, because some people want you to stay to do a hair change from ceremony to perception, but if they don’t know, that gets tricky. But a lot of people assume that the person does know, but also you never take a bride away from a conversation unless they’re giving you the look of healthy.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. And it’s hard because it sounds like. She just assumed this girl would just know what to do. This woman would know what to do. And it’s hard ’cause you don’t wanna like, you don’t wanna be like, okay, your end time is this time. Once the dress is on you can go. Unless maybe she did say that and the woman still stayed.

Um, but yeah, it’s hard ’cause I know even as like a day of coordinator, like there’s been times where like pretty much once the dances start I’m like free to go. But there’s been times where I’m also invited as a guest. They’re like, oh, stay for dinner, stay for dancing after. And then depending on how close I am, I usually will just see myself out.

’cause I’m like, I’m not family member or close friend. I’ll just let them enjoy their day. But other times I’ll stay for dinner and I’ll like hang out. Um. But it’s knowing where you like fit in and where you like don’t fit in.

Bailey Lavender: And then also I’m, from how it sounds, it doesn’t sound like the bride was like, Hey, I would love for you to come to my wedding and spend the day there.

And that is one thing. It’s like, I would never assume that I was invited. And that is wild to me on top of the fact that like, I’ve never heard of a seamstress or wedding dress designer bringing the dress to the venue.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I was shocked by that too. I didn’t know if that was like a common thing. ’cause I’ve never heard of that.

Bailey Lavender: I’ve never heard of it. Maybe if you’ve ever come across this, anybody watching this, please let us know because that is wild to me.

Christa Innis: Yes.

Bailey Lavender: I’ve had so many brides, they, they go a week or two before, if it’s normally brides like it done before then, but at least a week or two before they get their dress and then they have it hanging in their closet where a bridesmaid or a mother, the bride or groom has it, and then they bring it to the, the venue.

I’ve never heard of a strength seamstress being there.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I’m wondering if there was like, some kind of connection with this seamstress, like a family friend or something, or like, there’s some connection Yeah. That would, that would make it complicated. Yeah. ’cause then she’s like, oh, I’m gonna carry this with pride because they’re all gonna see this dress that I made, and then I need to make sure it’s perfect in every photo and I need to help her, Dr.

Get dressed and make sure it’s everything. But like, like I, I was just saying before, I was like, I’ve been to and been a part of so many weddings and even when the bride has an outfit change, they like do it themselves. Or like a mom helps ’em or a bridesmaid. Never The seamstress. ‘

Bailey Lavender: cause it’s a, it’s an important moment.

Like so many women want that picture of their mom lacing them up, their sister or whoever, like is important in their life. Helping them get ready, putting their shoes on, like fixing their train. The, the hand placements, it sounds like silly, but so many women, you know, the important people in your family or friends or whoever, you know, what their hands look like.

And years down the road when you’re looking back at those photos and you see their hands, they may no longer be here. It matters to you.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Bailey Lavender: And she took that from her.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. That would really, I feel like, really bother me. Like that might be, I always say like, there’s always a moment and even people pleasers, like I, I always say I’m a recovering people pleaser, but there’s always that moment where it’s like, it’s gone too far.

And I feel like if it were something like that on my wedding day, I’d be like, I would really like my friends here to be able to do this. Like. The X, I don’t know. I don’t think I would do that, but I’m like, it’s so hard to like put yourself in that position. Yeah. How would I handle this?

Bailey Lavender: See, and again, back to the people you surround yourself with.

I keep harping on this, but like the peop my family and my friends would’ve pulled me aside and been like, did you ask for this? And if I gave them a face of no, then they’re like, don’t worry about it. I’ve got it. And they were just gone and handled the situation. But again, we don’t know all of it. We don’t know if she was a family friend where they didn’t feel comfortable doing that because they didn’t know the depths of their relationship.

Christa Innis: Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Okay. So, um, okay. So she pulled her away from guests and photos. It was as if she was determined to be a part of every moment, completely oblivious to how disruptive and intrusive she was being. She had no self-awareness whatsoever. To make matters even more offensive, she made rude comments about my husband’s race.

So now she’s just a rude person.

Bailey Lavender: Absolutely not. Would not fly? No. Okay. That I can see a lot of things in a lot of different perspectives. I can see where you’re wanting to be there for the dress. You’re wanting to try to be helpful. Maybe you have overstepped and you don’t understand personal boundaries.

That is a hard stop. Yeah,

Christa Innis: that would

Bailey Lavender: be

Christa Innis: absolutely. No, you’re, you’re out here. No, you’re being escorted at this point, that part.

Bailey Lavender: Do you no longer get the first comment? You’re out.

Christa Innis: Yeah. That’s, this is your client. If you’re making that comment about your clients, I can only mention what you’re saying behind the scenes.

So, yeah. No, not, not gonna fly. When, when I expressed that I was stressed, she told me it was my own fault for DIYing my wedding, I was floored. The audacity and lack of empathy was shocking. Her behavior was not just unprofessional, it was downright inappropriate. Yeah. Oh my gosh. This is way worse than I thought.

When we got our wedding photos back, my heart sank. She had her phone in my face in countless pictures, ruining moments that should have been timeless. I would be so upset. I feel so bad for this bride.

Bailey Lavender: I have a friend who she only does wedding photography and the amount of hate that she gets sometimes from like other people that are in weddings because she’s like, Hey, I need you to move to the side.

Or, Hey, put down your phone. Or, Hey, it’s supposed to be a wire or a phoneless ceremony because I, she’s paying me for these photos because she likes the way I do things and she’s not wanting them. And the amount of times that she’s posted where you can see a phone completely disrupting a photo that would’ve been, like you said, timeless

Christa Innis: and

Bailey Lavender: would’ve hung it in their bedroom forever or in their living room forever and now because of a phone.

Yeah. Is there

Christa Innis: everyone? Yeah. I know that’s, that’s terrible. I know. It’s like the people that always think like their phone’s gonna get the better job of the photographer and it’s like, no. Like they are a trained professional with a camera. Let them do their job. Um, I know I’ve been to weddings where it’s like, put your phones away and there’s still people taking photos, holding up their iPads or whatever it is, and it’s like, just put it away.

Take a photo later, pull ’em aside if you need to, but

Bailey Lavender: get little like one-offs from like when you’re sitting at the table at dinner and the, the setting is stunning and beautiful. Get your own little, like point of view picture and send it to her or put it in an album for them to look at later if they’re wanting some like B roll type of content, but let the photographer or the videographer or have you heard of wedding Content Creators?

I have. I just heard about this this week and I was like, that is phenomenal. Good for these people. Like making a new like. Avenue for income, but because I’ve always thought about that. It’s like these brides, they, they don’t wanna play on their phones and bridesmaids are doing a thousand other things.

And now there’s wedding content creators that go to weddings to get B-roll content for these brides. Phenomenal. Yes. But do that, don’t take, don’t think that your iPhone’s gonna be better than the camera or the editing style that. The brighter groom or whoever is paying for this wedding wanted.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Yeah. It’s definitely knowing what you were hired for and what you’re there to do and be done with the job. Because like, even as a day of coordinator, like my, the last wedding I worked like in the morning before the photographer came, like, it was part of like our contract, our calls. Like I was like, I’ll take like behind the scene photos when you guys are doing makeup done.

’cause I knew the photographer wasn’t gonna get there until noon. So I was like, I’ll do that before they come. As soon as the photographer came, I was like, my phone’s away. You don’t need me. Surely you don’t need this iPhone. Um, and, and even when I was like taking pictures of like, just stuff around, I was like very cautious about like, I did it before anyone was like in a setting just to take pictures of behind the scenes.

And even then I’m like. Phone should be away, like as if a, as a vendor. That’s not your, it’s not your job unless you’re a photographer, but

Bailey Lavender: well also, if you think about it from the persons whose wedding you’re at, right? Bride, groom, whoever. If you see this, it looks rude. It looks like you’re not present for their most or not most important day, but extremely important day to them.

You could be looking through these pictures that you just took because you think that they’re phenomenal and you can’t wait to send them, but they are gonna remember how you were on your phone at their important day. Yeah, and that’ll stick with them.

Christa Innis: 100%. Yes. No, I totally agree. It’s, yeah, it’s the fact that she was, I feel like she was so into her phone and what she was gonna be able to bring home or post to her website that she was like, I don’t care about this bride.

I, I care, I selfish. Mm-hmm. 100%.

Bailey Lavender: I can’t believe I, the, I’ll never get over the selfishness that goes into so many people that weddings, I feel like. They forget that it’s somebody’s important day. Mm-hmm. Someone is dedicating their life to someone else, like it’s beautiful, and so many people see, what can I get out of this?

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yep. I think that’s where a lot of these stories like stem from is people don’t, people either can’t celebrate, someone else, can’t allow the limelight to be on somebody else, or Yeah. They’re just thinking about their own like selfish gain. Especially because I don’t normally get vendor stories.

Every once in a while I get a story that’s from a vendor or about a vendor, but it’s very slim. Usually it’s like more family or friend bridesmaid stuff. So when I get something like this, it’s just. Oh, like you’re supposed to be the professional

Bailey Lavender: because so many vendors go into wedding vending in any right way, shape, or form because they love weddings.

They love the beauty of it and the stress that comes with it because it’s high intensity and they enjoy it and they love making it a stress free day as much as possible. And then family and friends sometimes come in with the great or with the right intentions, but unfortunately some of them are there just to ruin someone’s day.

Christa Innis: Yeah, yeah. Oh, it’s so unfortunate. Um, so it says even worse. Oh no. She positioned herself in front of the photographer as I walked down the aisle.

Bailey Lavender: Not that it’s just making me mad. Like everything, everything new. It is just, I’m getting more and more heated. I’m sorry. You’re like,

Christa Innis: in the beginning you’re like, I’m being more positive and I’m like, here’s some drama.

How do you feel?

Bailey Lavender: I’m angry.

Christa Innis: Like, we’re gonna go like do a meditation after this. Yes. I know because I’m like photographer. I’d be like, get out. Who are you? Get outta my way.

Bailey Lavender: So also what I’m hearing is that girlfriend did not have a seat. So you should have known get out, leave. Yeah. It’s time for you to go.

Christa Innis: Yeah, you, you gotta go. Because of that, I have no unobstructed photos of that. Once in a lifetime moment. Oh my gosh. That would make me so mad. Despite my explicit request for an unplugged ceremony and my clear instructions that she could only post photos of the dress without tagging me. She uploaded a video of my husband crying as I walked down the aisle.

Such a, seeing such a raw, personal moment shared online without my consent was devastating. So yeah, she’s doing it for her own personal gain for her own business.

Bailey Lavender: And are we gonna talk about the fact that she’s gonna upload a video of a man loving his now wife that you wanted to make racial comments about?

Mm-hmm. No ma’am.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah, this woman has no, she’s there just to get photos for, to help her own business and does not care about anyone else at this point.

Bailey Lavender: Mm-hmm. That is disgusting behavior.

Christa Innis: Ugh. When I left her a negative review, I was gonna ask, or I was gonna see if she left this spiel, calling out her unprofessionalism.

She didn’t apologize. Instead, she harassed me, responding by trashing my friends. Not once did she take responsibility. I’m guessing now it’s not a family friend because there’s, there’s no connection here. I don’t think she takes, not once did she take responsibility or show an ounce of remorse for how she ruined my day.

I wanna know who this is. She should share her story on TikTok. Um. Now my husband and I are planning a separate photo shoot because of our wedding photos being ruined by her constant interference. What should have been the happiest day of my life is now clouded by frustration and disappointment, all because she couldn’t respect basic professional boundaries.

If I’ve learned anything from this, it’s that even the kindest seeming vendors can cross the line and derail your day. I trusted her with something precious, and she abused that trust leaving me with memories. I’ll never be able to fully get back.

Bailey Lavender: Oh, that makes me so

Christa Innis: sad.

Bailey Lavender: This is where them type a brides have it, right?

The ones that give you way too much information, you’re like, girl, of course I’m gonna leave whenever you need me to. Or of course you don’t have to worry about telling me that, duh.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Bailey Lavender: They’ve got it right because they’re, they know that there is a possibility that something goes awry like this, and they’re making sure they handle it beforehand.

Christa Innis: Yeah. That’s why I always think it’s like there’s always rules for things because someone has broken it or someone has done something that like this, you know? And it’s like it sucks because the reason there are so many, like strict brides or brides are like, this is because, and stuff like this. But then they get called a bridezilla and it’s like, no, like being firm with your boundaries does not make you a bridezilla.

Bailey Lavender: Well, it’s you understanding what could go awry. I mean, it’s similar to like, I put the light or the outlet covers over my outlets because there’s a possibility that my son puts his finger in it and they electrocute himself. You know, but they’re prepping themselves to make sure there is nothing that goes wrong and that they don’t have to stress on their wedding day because they’ve stressed before.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And it’s, it’s, it’s, so I feel like it’s so easy to like read these stories and be like, this is what I would’ve done, but. It’s hard in those like moments of like, especially like, like we were talking about earlier, it’s like you wanted to be in your wedded bliss. You don’t want this drama to affect you, but she also didn’t let it affect her and then she saw the pictures.

Yeah. And so she’s, so it’s like at that point it’s like, should she have been? But she probably didn’t notice at that point. She was so, you know, in, in the moment and she probably didn’t notice, like this woman, her phone’s out in front of my photographer, like, you’re just expecting the photographer to do their job.

They’re fine. And that sucks that that happened. I feel so

Bailey Lavender: bad, I don’t know about anyone else, but on my wedding days it was such a blur because there was so much going on. I had a thousand things running through my brain, um, that the photos and the videos mattered the most to me be, or like outside of getting married.

But because I knew that I was going to forget important moments or miss important moments. Yes. And when you obstruct those or you ruin. A day that the bride remembers nothing but the negative things that you did on such an important day. Mm-hmm. That matters.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Bailey Lavender: Yeah. And honestly, you should take accountability and I’m so sorry.

Like that was never what I wanted for your wedding day. It was something

Christa Innis: Yeah. I think some of these vendors like that I’ve seen like in different tiktoks drama stores or something that don’t take accountability, they don’t realize that you’re ma, they’re making it so much worse for their business.

’cause there’s a current TikTok drama going on right now that I saw someone just tag me in it where she. Basically it’s a caterer situation. I don’t know the whole story, but the caterer kind of ruined her wedding day. Like certain things that she had set up and planned. They like, they like, uh, what did they do?

They put the cake topper through the cake instead of like putting it at the top. So it like, actually like broke the cake in half. They didn’t pull it out ahead of time to like, um, defrost. So it was like rock hard. So her husband and I and her couldn’t even like, take bites of the cake. So she’s trying to like, just act like it’s fine.

There was like a list of things and I guess she, like, like the person that she worked with all along didn’t even come to the wedding. It was another person. And then they kept saying, we won’t help you or talk to you until you remove your review. So I’m like, now she’s telling everyone on TikTok because you’re not helping her.

So now everyone knows who this person is ’cause they’re just unwilling to help. And I’m like, if you just fix it and apologize. Yes. Some things cannot be fixed. Like obviously the photographer. The photos can’t be fixed, but they’re gonna make it so much worse where no one’s gonna go to them because, no instance.

Bailey Lavender: Because if in reality, if one person has had that such horrible experience, they’re comfortable doing it. So someone else may have had at least a little bit of that same kind of person from them. Right. Because they are so comfortable with so much unprofessionalism because I mean, obviously she probably did a good job on her dress if she allowed her to make it from scratch.

Yeah. So this is not her first rodeo of making a wedding dress. So who else has also struggled with this?

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yeah. It makes me wonder if other people had issues in the past, um, or if maybe the seamstress typically is not invited to an outfit change. So in her mind she heard that and was like, oh, I’m a part, they’re inviting me.

They’re part, they really like me. But either way. It just kept getting worse, worse, worse and worse. Not understanding boundaries, not understanding, being professional on a wedding day. There’s like, there’s no excuse for that behavior.

Bailey Lavender: Not in any way, shape or form. Anything that was done was not okay.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Wow, that’s terrible. I feel so bad for the right. I’m glad they like are doing their own like photo shoot to hopefully like recreate some of the photos and stuff because

Bailey Lavender: it’s fun to do that anyways because your style may change or where you wanna put the photos may want a different style and you get to do something different and fun.

And I think so many people only get professional photos, or not even professional photos, they only get photos done or take photos at their wedding day or at kids’ birthday parties or something. And if you continue that, you get to see the progression of how you age and grow together and how your style changes.

And it’s all beautiful and you should like want to do that together forever.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah, I love that the reminder to do more photo shoots because I do feel like after you, like it’s like you get engaged, you have your wedding and then you kinda like forget. Like I was just telling my husband, I’m like, since our daughter’s been born, I’m like, we’ve not done like professional family photos and she’s two and a half.

So I’m like, we gotta like do those things. You have to like actively remember like to have someone take photos and like

Bailey Lavender: I was, I was very luck. I was, God, I can’t word that. I was a very lucky child. My grandmother owned a photography studio when I was really l young and so I grew up with a camera in front of my face.

And so now like at big life events, of course I think of a photographer, but even like the small ones, right? So I think about like at my son’s first birthday I made sure we had family photos, individual photos and like it was a big deal. And from here on out I want every birthday him to we to get photos with him and individually together as well because your family only stays that age for a little bit.

And I wanna see the progression of our life.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. And you blink and they’re just like, I know. It’s crazy how, how it all goes. I’m sure you feel the same way. It’s just like wild. I remember someone telling me when like she was a newborn and they’re like, don’t blink. It goes so fast. And then I’m like, how is she like a fully like walking kid, like I don’t understand and she can like talk and have conversations like what?

Bailey Lavender: I feel like it was yesterday that I was super excited that he was sitting up on his own and now he, I have to Caden proof the entire house because he is like Tarzan and climbing up walls and like trying to hang from the rafters. I’m like, dude, you need to chill a little bit. ’cause I’m trying not to. You don’t have nine lives.

I, I don’t know if you know that, but you don’t have nine lives.

Christa Innis: Yes. It’s like you wanna like encourage them to be like, grow and be adventurous, but also like, I wanna kind of keep you in a little bubble because like, don’t get hurt. Please. Like.

Bailey Lavender: Like, I think we cut his toenail short one time, like too short where it bled a little bit and I cried about it for two days.

Christa Innis: Oh yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm.

Bailey Lavender: Like I, I’m that mom. I’m going to allow him to do what he wants and be his own independent child, like you said. But please don’t hurt yourself. ’cause it hurts me worse.

Christa Innis: I know, I know. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Doctor’s visit like anything, like my, my husband and I are just, are weak. Like, I’ll get to the car and I just start like crying.

I’m like, oh my gosh. She was so brave at the doctor, but like, my God, it’s just like

Bailey Lavender: I do it every time.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I like that. She thinks I’m, but portraying her. But yeah. Uhhuh, um. Well, I loved having you on. I feel like we had such good conversations. You have like such like a light to you and I feel like you’re so positive and I, I felt like it was just great chatting with you and getting to know you.

Appreciate that.

Bailey Lavender: Thank you.

Christa Innis: For anyone listening again, can you just tell everyone where they can follow you? Um, anything fun and exciting you have coming up and what you’re kinda working on?

Bailey Lavender: Um, you can find me pretty much everywhere on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, Snapchat I believe as well. Um, I’m the Bailey Lavender, but I’m not under the Bailey Lavender on Facebook.

Someone stole that identity from me and is faking multiple different accounts of that. So make sure, if you are looking for my Facebook account, you go through my TikTok or Instagram. Um, and it will have the link there because unfortunately people are awful. Um, but I’m currently working on. Adding transformations to my schedule, um, where I am trying to get to, where I take what is called like a, um, be like someone’s foster stylist, right?

Christa Innis: Okay. And so

Bailey Lavender: I take someone, I fix their hair at a reasonable price. ’cause unfortunately transformations sometimes are super expensive. Um, and, and fix their hair for a reasonable price. I have them for two to three appointments. I learn about them. I get to know their, who they are, what kind of appointments they prefer, like quiet or talkative or like what that person is to their core and what they enjoy.

And then I have a list of stylists around me in my area that I place them with. That’s their forever stylist, right? And I tell them what I use on them. Figure out like that. If that salon, if it’s upbeat, put them with someone that’s there. Or if they’re needing something more secluded, a little bit more relaxing, put them somewhere that has like a suite where they’re in there by themselves and they get to have a relaxing experience.

And make sure that like everybody that’s on my stylist list acts still also have the same kind of education as me. And so like any new education I’m going to, I’m making sure they know it’s so that they can also attend. And like making sure that I’m not just. Taking everything that comes my way and trying to profit from it, but also like spreading the love.

And I started doing this when I moved to Shelby and I am loving it.

Christa Innis: I love that. I’ve never heard of that, but it makes so much sense because I feel like the wide span of hair salons you can go to, they’re just also different and everyone’s different. So you’d be able to do that like guesswork for them and be like, yeah,

Bailey Lavender: you fit.

And it’s hard as a stylist you are that you have to be everything. You have to be marketing and pr, pr and you have to be booking and cleaning and like you have to do all of that on top of working your schedule as a stylist on your feet all day, like you’re tired. And so a lot of them don’t have the reach that I do, and some people struggle to find their perfect stylist and so I get to just kinda like bridge the gap

Christa Innis: and I,

Bailey Lavender: I think it’s so cool.

Christa Innis: Oh, that’s so fun. Yeah, that’s great that, that’s awesome. Like I said, I, I haven’t heard of that before and I feel like that’s such a helpful tool for people to have. Um, and it helps, I feel like helps them know themselves better too a little bit.

Bailey Lavender: Yeah. And also like they’re not spending their whole life savings on fixing their hair and then I get it to a maintainable color or cut or whatever it is, and then place them where they’re just maintaining that, which is a lot more inexpensive than trying to do a huge transformation.

Right.

Christa Innis: Yeah. No, that’s so cool. Well, awesome. Well thank you so much for coming on. Like I said, it was great chatting with you. I feel like we covered a lot of topics and um, it was really great to meet you after seeing all your awesome content. I

Bailey Lavender: appreciate that. It was wonderful talking to you today.


Baby Bumps, Brawls & Breaking the System with Payal Desai

She wore the same color as the bride—intentionally. Payal Desai joins Christa for a no-holds-barred conversation on gender expectations, cultural clashes, and the wild moments that weddings bring out in people.

From viral videos on dismantling patriarchal parenting to surviving chaotic family traditions, Payal shares what it’s like to raise sons in a world obsessed with “mama’s boys.” She even dishes on the unexpected wedding sabotage she experienced firsthand.

This episode dives deep into family roles, wedding faux pas, and why boundaries are the real bridal registry essential. Get ready to rethink what’s “normal” at the altar and beyond.

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month! 

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

02:33 Breaking Gender Norms and Patriarchy

06:17 Wedding Drama and Toxic Traditions

10:53 Personal Wedding Stories and Etiquette

17:11 Navigating Online Criticism and Trolls

28:57 Challenging Traditional Gender Roles in Marriage

31:44 Discussing Cooking and Household Roles

32:54 Generational Perspectives on Gender Roles

34:14 Personal Stories of Independence

36:08 The Value of Stay-at-Home Moms

38:05 Wedding Story Submission

46:23 Wedding Planning Confessions

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • Dusty Son Series Origins – Payal unpacks the viral moment that sparked her mission to dismantle toxic gender expectations.
  • The Color Clash – Someone close to Payal showed up to her wedding wearing her exact dress color—after being told not to.
  • Wedding Traditions That Go Off the Rails – Learn how fun customs can turn violent when underlying family tensions boil over.
  • Cake Smash or Red Flag? – Why some “playful” wedding moments are actually warning signs.
  • Mother of the Groom Drama – A deep dive into the overbearing “boy mom” trope and why it needs to stop.
  • Navigating Internalized Misogyny – Payal shares how her early marriage exposed unexpected insecurities—and how she overcame them.
  • Thank You Notes & Gendered Labor – Who’s really responsible for post-wedding etiquette?
  • Creating Equity in Marriage – From laundry to lasagna, Payal and Christa get real about modern partnership dynamics.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  • “Why are we putting all the pressure on the bride? Thank you notes aren’t gendered.”Christa Innis
  • “If you need a bridesmaid to hold your boundaries, get her.”Christa Innis
  • “We don’t need to stick with tradition if it’s rooted in discomfort.” – Christa Innis
  • “The day you get married shouldn’t feel like performance art for everyone else.” – Christa Innis
  • “I thought wedding content would be niche, but it touches everything—boundaries, parenting, even gender norms.” – Christa Innis
  • “If my content offends you, ask yourself why—what is it bringing up?” – Payal Desai
  • “I wasn’t going to let anyone take my moment, no matter what they wore.” – Payal Desai
  • “We have internalized misogyny, and it shows up in the smallest domestic decisions.” – Payal Desai
  • “The wedding doesn’t make the marriage—no matter how big it is.” – Payal Desai
  • “Being a stay-at-home mom is unpaid labor, but it has value—and we need to talk about that.”Payal Desai

About Payal

Payal Desai, known online as @Payalforstyle on Instagram and TikTok, is the creator of the viral “Dusty Son” series—a hilarious and honest look at breaking down traditional gender roles, starting at home with her own sons. Her content has racked up millions of likes and caught the attention of major media outlets and talk shows for its bold take on everyday dynamics within families.

A sharp-witted cultural commentator, Payal uses humor to spotlight the invisible labor women carry and to challenge outdated expectations with unfiltered honesty. There’s no dramatic backstory—just a mom calling it like she sees it and making a lot of people laugh (and think) along the way.

Follow Payal Desai

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hello. Thank you so much for joining me today.

Payal Desai: Thank you for having me. I’m super excited for our conversation.

Christa Innis: I am so excited. I’ve been following your content for a long time now, and I think, and we’ll get into it, but I feel like there’s so much, like so much important messaging that you have mm-hmm. In your content, and that is one of the reasons why I thought it was so important to have you on. But before we get to all that, can you just introduce yourself, who you are, what you do, and we’ll kind of get into it.

Payal Desai: So I’m Payal, my handle on socials is Payal for style and I am a teacher. I taught for 16 years, teacher turned content creator.

This is my first year out of the classroom doing my content full-time on TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube. And I really focus on, dispelling breaking traditional gender roles and norms. And challenging, ideals of the patriarchy. I have two boys and so I don’t believe that those things in society benefit them.

And so we do things very differently in our home, but we’re trying to normalize it.

Christa Innis: Yes, I love that. And that is why I thought you were so perfect for this because a lot of these, like crazy wedding drama stories I see have to do with Mothers of the Groom and not to point. Mm-hmm. Because I know people get really offended by that, but I think it’s really important.

The message that you share about teaching your sons and how they can treat, you know, like empowering them in different ways of like. Not just mama’s little boy. Mm-hmm. Do no wrong. Boys will be boys. So I think you have such important messages that people need to see.

Payal Desai: Yeah, absolutely. And my, my question to that would be like if you are, ’cause a lot of people are very offended by my content.

If you’re offended, ask yourself why. Like, why. what offends you? Why does it upset you to bring up these topics of like, mothers who are overbearing or say things like, my son will be my slowest heartbreak. Like, what? Why are we need to talk about that? That’s not healthy. And yeah, so. We need to ask ourselves those questions too.

Christa Innis: I know. I was just saying to someone like I do a mix of like when I share like different wedding stories, I do a mix. Like one might be like a bridesmaid drama, one might be a mother of the groom, one might be a stepmother, and when I post mother of the groom, I get messages sent to me that are like, how dare you just target mothers of the groom?

You know, there’s drama with other people too. Or this is exhausted, they’ll like comment that’s not like, why are you. Offended though, because if I see Yeah, a video about like a Bridezilla, I’m not gonna be like, oh my gosh, why would you talk about this? Because I’m like, I didn’t act that way, so I don’t mm-hmm.

I don’t feel offended. But I think it’s such an important topic of this like, boy, mom. Of, oh, the bride’s not good enough or, yes. putting them down, or like, my son’s a prince, he can do no wrong.

Payal Desai: Mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: but the daughter, you know, it’s, it’s her fault.

 

Payal Desai: Yeah, absolutely. Like I have the series that went viral for me was the Dusty Sun Series and the original video that I had.

Scene was a mom teaching her son how to cook so that your dusty daughter’s Stouffer’s lasagna won’t impress him. And so I saw that and I was like, what are we doing? Like already you have this hypothetical daughter-in-law that you are demeaning and putting down, you don’t even like your child is. Five years old and you’re teaching him how to cook so that some girl in the future who’s dusty, can’t like, who isn’t capable of taking care of him.

What? So I saw that and I was like, we’ve gotta flip this narrative like that. We need to empower our boys. To take care of themselves. Yes. But we also need to empower them to respect their partners. And so I just wanted to flip that whole narrative and now the series is like over two years strong because there’s a lot of ground to cover.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. It’s like there’s so much learning from it, but I feel like there’s still, it’s like, there’s like a hard area of like, I dunno, hard. Shell to crack, I should say. There’s still some people that are like, won’t see that way. of like how it can be very toxic to, raise their sons to think like, you can do no wrong.

It’s, you know. Mm-hmm. It’s up to your standards. Like, of course we should have standards, but like, that’s not just a man thing. Like we should all have standards for our right course. but I think it gets very, very construed. Absolutely. I agree. So let’s talk like jump right into some different crazy stories and some wedding hot takes.

So starting off the bat, do you have any kind of crazy wedding stories, either things that you’ve seen or witnessed or had at your own wedding?

When Wedding Traditions Turn Violent

Payal Desai:  Mm-hmm. Yeah. So, in Indian traditional weddings, one of the traditions is that the bride side will, steal the groom’s shoes as they are entering the ceremony.

And the way that the groom then retrieves his shoes is by paying like the bridesmaids, the cousins, the sisters, the family. He is like kind of earning his way back into the family and. This is supposed to be a very playful, fun tradition. Usually like everyone knows it’s gonna happen. So like there, you know, you steal the shoes and then you get kind of chased around and then the groom finally eventually like hands off the money, gets his shoes back.

But when there are underlying tensions, this can get. Like violent. And I have literally been to a wedding where there were underlying tensions. I don’t think that everyone in the room wanted the marriage to happen. And when it came to that point, like it was a brawl. It was a brawl like it was. Fists being thrown, like people on the floor.

 yeah, it was awful. And it just, you know, it was not the joyous moment that you would think it would be. so clearly it revealed that there was a lot of tension in play.

Christa Innis: That’s what like a lot of those like traditional things, like I was just talking to some of like how the bouquet toss can sometimes get that way too.

Mm-hmm. Where I feel like it’s like either built up Yes. Or like these, like women like have rivals with each other. or men at the wedding or like, oh, for during the, garter toss. Like, I’m gonna put Yeah. Guy outta the way and they get violent. ’cause it’s like, that’s.

I don’t know. It’s like their time. They’re like, oh, it’s okay though. this is tradition. It’s allowed.

Payal Desai: Yeah. Or even like one that I’ve seen lately, like pop up on socials is like a little different, but it’s when the bride and groom are feeding each other cake and like when the groom like takes icing and like smashes it or like puts it all over her face or, it’s just like red flag, but like too late because the ceremony’s over and so.

I feel so bad for those women because I just think it’s like a precursor. Like that’s not funny. Yeah, that’s not funny.

Christa Innis: That is, that’s looking to embarrass you. Yeah, and they’re like almost inserting their dominance now being like, ha ha. Because I saw one too where it was like they had literally talked about it for the wedding, so she must have already had some kind of gut feeling or a red flag of being like, he might do this.

Hey, I don’t want you to do this. I’m not comfortable, or whatever. And he still did it. And then you can see the resistance, like you can see them like fighting. Yeah. And you’re like, what hap okay, if this happens in front of all these people, what’s happening behind closed doors?

Payal Desai: Exactly. If he’s gonna publicly humiliate you on your most important day, one of the days, you deemed to be your most important.

Right. Man, I can’t even, so, yeah.

Christa Innis: I feel like that also, it’s like those, I have, there’s like speeches by grooms that I’ve seen that you’re like, they’re using this as like a way to like. Almost, it’s like they didn’t wanna get married, so they’re gonna make a speech about like, oh, she’s so lucky to have me.

Like, I just saw ve where the guy, all he did was talk about like him being there with his boys and never once said, my wife looks beautiful. He literally looked at her and goes, you look all right. Yeah. It’s not funny. Oh, that’s his humor. Like, I don’t think so. Like that’s not the time. Mm-hmm. Like, tell your wife she looks beautiful on her wedding day.

Like, I don’t know.

Payal Desai: Yeah. I mean, I think that if you are. Worried or concerned about the way that your partner is going to behave on the day of the wedding, and that’s like a foremost concern for you. That in itself is a red flag. Yes. You need to think about why you are so concerned about what even if like alcoholism in play or whatever like.

Why, why is this an issue? Like it shouldn’t be.

Christa Innis: Yes. No, absolutely. If you are concerned that something’s gonna happen or

Payal Desai: Yeah,

Christa Innis: like maybe let’s ask ourselves what’s going on here? Becausefeel like so many times in these stories that I see, it’s like they’re just so excited to get married, which I get, it’s a very mm-hmm.

Thing, but. Let’s like not sacrifice like our own happiness just to get married and just to jump to that finish line or that next step. Because I feel like you see all these wedding videos and you’re like, oh no, they just did this to like, and now they’re gonna embarrass them and during their vows or something.

 Yeah. Yeah. What other, did you have another story that you wanted to share? Like, or anything else that you’ve seen at weddings?

Twins on My Wedding Day?

Payal Desai: Yeah, so one thing that personally happened to me, Indian traditional weddings, the bride wears red, and I chose to wear like this fuchsia pink color specifically because that’s the color that my mom wore as well at her wedding.

So I was like, oh, I’m gonna like break the mold a little bit. But it’s still like a very bright, vibrant, like. Magenta, pinkish kind of color. And so that was the color of my Ari and I was super excited to wear it. I had told a bunch of people that, you know, like my friends bridesmaids, like all of that.

Like I had told everyone that this is the color that I was wearing. So I, it’s not like it was a secret. I had shared it. Somebody in pretty close proximity to the, wedding party. I’m not going to say who showed up when we were doing family photos and had that, like when I say to the t exact shade on, I’m not exaggerating even a little bit.

Oh. And it was somebody who I had shared that I was wearing, like I had sent a photo of my pic, my outfit to, and I was just like, in that mo I was shocked, like. Twins. What? I don’t wanna be like, I trust studio. I don’t wanna be twins with anyone on my wedding day. And I was very, very upset about it. but you know, this is pre ceremony, so we’re, this is the morning of like, what am I supposed to do?

I also wasn’t going to like tell them to change, but I just was seething inside and one of my best friends was like. This isn’t on you. Like everyone’s gonna look at this and be like, what were they thinking? Yeah. Not, not, this isn’t a reflection of you. You’ve gotta remember that. And I was like, I’m still mad.

Um, so then the day went on and I had, there were so many other things that I had to obviously prioritize and focus on. And I’m very much like, I need, I wanna see the best in the situation. I don’t wanna react. Um. So I didn’t. Okay. I didn’t, and I, you know, I never really even confronted the person either.

Um, but now it’s been like 13 years. So it’s not that I’m over it, but I just like, I don’t think about it anymore. Like I, whatever. It’s just, it’s just also something like, I wouldn’t do that, you know? So, yeah.

Christa Innis: Just like, especially the fact that you shared it with this person and you were like very open about like, Hey, this is the color I’m wearing because my mom wore it.

And for them to come in, like, I feel like I’d be very like, similar to you or like, I wouldn’t wanna cause like a stir that day, even though you’re not the one causing it. But like Yeah, it’s like you don’t wanna say anything ’cause you’re like, that could just make the, the day kind of Yes. Surrounded around that.

Payal Desai: My reaction would have, and I think that this is something that happens often, like when you’re upset about something and it’s the day of, like your reaction is a reflection, right? So like, you kind of, if it’s, if you know that it’s something that has to be said, then fine react. But like, I just, there was nothing to do about this.

I, what was I gonna say? You know? Yeah. It felt like. I felt kind of like there was no point in making it an issue, but yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I know those things are so hard because like even when I do like skits of like stories that people send me, they’re like, I hate that the bride didn’t say anything. And it’s like, I get it.

You want to say something, but at the same time, it’s like if you chose that moment to like,

Payal Desai: mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: Make a scene about it. Then it just, like, I feel like then there’s just like awkward tension and I feel like, yeah, maybe you can like confront it later, but it’s like, at that point, the, the day’s over. I don’t know.

Payal Desai: Yeah. I mean, I’m all, I’m about protecting my peace, like I’m about protecting my energy and my peace. I’ve always been that way, so I was like, ain’t nothing gonna ruin my day. Like, I, I’m gonna keep vibing. I also think that that helps me to. Also own the moment. Like, this is my moment. Like no one’s taking it from me no matter what you’re wearing.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah, absolutely. I totally get that. Um, yeah, no, that is, that’s crazy. I’ve, I’ve heard of similar things happening. I’ve never mm-hmm. A wedding where, where that happens. But like, even with, um, someone told me a story where the mother of the bride came wearing like a wedding gown and no one knew. And so like.

It was like this white wedding gown that literally ma like, oh my God. It was like fancier than the bride. And, but it was like one of those things too where like, I don’t think she said anything, but it was more like everyone just knew like this mom was being outrageous. Like what

Payal Desai: is going on? There’s like, on one hand it’s like, of course you take pride in what you wear and you wanna show up to your child’s wedding looking bomb.

Like in the future, I, I, I’m a fashion girly, like I’m gonna Yeah. Care a lot what I wear to, you know, either of my son’s like big events. Right. But it’s, it’s another, um. It’s another idea to like try to show others up or try to show anybody up. And I see that too. Like whenever you have a mom of the groom, I, I follow this one woman and she had done like a series of videos where she was trying to choose a dress for her son’s wedding and the hate in the comments because like some of the dresses were like way more fashion forward or modern or like, she just looked good in them.

People were tearing her apart. And I feel like two ways about that because I don’t know what her intentions are. I don’t think she’s like, I can’t assume she’s trying to show up her daughter-in-law. Right.

Christa Innis: But I don’t know. I know people always like to assume like the worst online, but that’s the thing.

It’s like, yeah, if it was the complete opposite, people would have something to say too. That’s like how people are online. It’s great. You can never appease people online. Oh yeah. They’re just gonna like critique. Anything I’ve try, I’m like, learn, I’m like at a point where I’m like really trying to learn to like, have boundaries with like reading comments and like mm-hmm.

Say things. ’cause I, I take everything to heart and my husband’s like, you, like, you let it affect you so much. And like, so someone says something to me and I’m like, it’ll like weigh down on me. So I’m like, I’m really like learning Yeah. Boundaries with that stuff. Because like, people online, like the bullies, they don’t matter.

They’re sitting behind a keyboard trying to just Yes. Sit down. Well,

Payal Desai: honestly, a lot of trolls are like literally teenagers. I’m not lying to you, like online. A lot of trolls are like high school boys. Um, and I know that because I, I taught middle and high school. I, I know that. And so whenever, sometimes I’m like going like at dad with like a troll online, I’m like.

Is this person 15 years old and like up too, too late past their bedtime? And then he kind of gives me a little perspective and I’m like. A backup. Like you really don’t know who’s behind the screen doesn’t just, you gotta let it go.

Christa Innis: Do you think being a teacher, like really like humbled you and like, gave you like a harder exterior at all to things?

I remember. Oh yeah. Yeah. I was gonna say, one of my friends is a teacher and high school and she was like, sometimes they’ll say things where they don’t like mean to be mean, but then I’m later like, oh, like, they’ll be like, oh, I’ve never seen a style be pulled off that way. Or they’ll be, they’ll say something like, oh yeah, that’s almost like.

Wait, was that an insult?

Payal Desai: Oh my God, yes. I mean, a hundred percent spot on. Two things prepared me to like be publicly on the internet with a large audience. Okay. Uh, I’m the youngest of three. I have two older sisters. Okay. So that, that did me in and then I taught middle and high school. Yes. Like I would get my hair cut and go to school and they kids would be like, why’d you get your hair cut?

Okay. That’s not the reaction I was looking for. You’re like, thank you. Why are you wearing that? What, and it was just like, it really does like dishearten you, like, you’re like, okay. And it, we would just, I’d laugh it off like, what, what am I gonna take offense? So I find that that tough exterior really helps me.

Yeah. Online.

Christa Innis: I love the thought of, I should just start picturing mm-hmm. Comments as like 13-year-old kids and I’ll just feel like bad I’m taking, telling you you that yes, that is

Payal Desai: like, that’s a huge population that’s on the internet, so it could very likely be 18 age.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Kid. Oh my gosh, I do. I feel like it’s either that or it’s like older, like my parents’ age sometimes that leave me comments, but I’ve had a few, I’ve had a few like apologize, and they’re like, I was having a bad day.

I’m like, it’s all good. You know what? Oh, I

Payal Desai: love that. That’s always really great when like all of a sudden you’re friendly with your troll, you know? Yeah. Like I’ve had those moments too, where we like. I go back and forth and it’s like ugly and I don’t know what I, why I’m even participating in this. And then like one, one person will be like, listen, I, you sound like you’re hurting and something might be going on with you.

And they’re like, yeah, I am hurting. And I’m like, oh my God, what a beautiful connection with a draw. Right? Do you see the friend you, we need to connect. And that’s gotta be the middle school experience too, because a kid could be awful. And then like obviously the next day. I’m not holding the grudge. It’s a kid.

So you know, you like resolve and repair and move on. Yes,

Christa Innis: yes. Oh my gosh. A lesson for everybody listening. Picture them as just like a kid, just like learn

Payal Desai: growing and that’s some top tier content creator advice right there. If you are trying to be online, then like Yeah. If you go, you got a picture of the troll as a kid.

Christa Innis: Yes. Oh my gosh. I love that. Okay, let’s go into some wedding hot takes, and then we’re gonna get into this week’s story, which I’ve not read yet, but, um, I, I think it’s a doozy. It’s gonna be a good one. Okay. Okay, so, um, wedding writing, drama, debates. Um, so here are some unpopular opinions that people have sent us.

And let’s see. Um, this first one says, brides should always pay for hair and makeup if they’re offering it for their bridal party.

Payal Desai: Is it, if it’s a choice, it like, do they have a choice in it or. It’s like the bride wants them to all be uniform. I

Christa Innis: think if the bride wants them to get hair and makeup, they’re saying that the bride should pay for

Payal Desai: it. Mm-hmm. I think so, because I’ve been in weddings where it’s like, you have, I want everyone’s hair to look like this.

I want everyone’s makeup to look like this, and if you’re gonna dictate what you want me to look like, then you should probably flip the bill.

Christa Innis: Yeah. No, I agree with that. I’ve never been in a wedding where. It was like you had to get your hair and makeup done. It was always an option. So I’ve always just,

Payal Desai: mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: There’s been somewhere I’ve just done my own, but, or I’ll just pay for it. But my own wedding, I told them, I was like, I’m getting a makeup artist that’ll be there and a and a hair girl. If you guys want it, let me know. If not, yeah. Feel free. Um, that’s exactly what I did too. Yeah. I did the same. Because then it’s like they don’t have pressure and I feel like too, like, um, luckily, like, I mean, a lot of people knew the makeup artist at my wedding, like a lot.

She kind of like went through our friend group, but like, you go to some weddings and the makeup, like, it’s just, you feel, you don’t feel like yourself or you know. Mm-hmm. And especially as a bridesmaid, you don’t have like a trial. So it’s, it can be, I get it. If you’re better at doing makeup, just, just do that.

Payal Desai: Yeah, I agree with that.

Christa Innis: Okay, this next one, thank you. Cards are unnecessary.

Payal Desai: Okay, so for my wedding, thank you cards for after, right. I split it down and I was like, you do your side. I’m gonna do mine. Oh, smart. I’m not right. Okay. Indian weddings are huge. I had 500 people at my wedding. Oh my gosh. You would have like that hand cramp.

Yeah, like carpal tunnel. Carpal tunnel. There we go. Writing cards. And again, like I’m the youngest of three. My older sister, she and her wedding cards printed personalized photos from her. So she got her photographer to make sure that they got photos of like everybody at the wedding. And then she found photos of like different people who attended with them.

The couple. Printed them and put them in the thank you cards. I was like, no. Okay. Nope. Not doing that. Like, that’s like really cute and thoughtful. Not for me. Okay. So then I was like, and then I took in a step further. I was like, well, I got my side. You can take care of yours because I’m not right. Like everyth, everything for me has always been like split down the middle and I’m for love that it, it works for us, right?

Like. There was a point where I thought that I needed to, as the woman of the house, needed to do all the laundry. ’cause that’s what I saw growing up, right? Like my dad didn’t pick up any of his laundry. My mom did everything. And so I was like, when it comes to laundry, like I’ve gotta do it all. It took me like two months of being married to be like.

I’m getting my own bin. You do yours. I do mine. From that day on, like, and now the boys like, well, my 9-year-old does his own and my four year old’s learning. That’s amazing. Okay, let’s go. And my husband grew up learning how to do his own laundry too. So he was like, yeah, what we, I’ll do my own. So I was like, okay.

But yeah, it’s all these like traditional things, right? So anyway, I did send mine out, TBD if he ever sent his out 13 years ago. I really, you know what? At that point, like I’m, that’s not, I’m sorry. If you think that’s a reflection of me. No, I It’s not.

Christa Innis: It’s not. Yes. I love that you’ve said that because so many people put it on the woman and then it’s your responsibility to then double check with him, oh, did they get sent out?

Or this? It’s like, no, I. That’s what we decided. And that was it. Because I’ve, this is like a mini story, but one of my friends, and hopefully it’s okay with me sharing this, I mean, I’m not gonna say who it is, but she said when she, like first married her husband, um, one of his aunts said to her, oh, and she had something like, very traumatic happened after the wedding.

Again, I don’t wanna say details, but it was like a very, it was a, a family thing that happened. So she was dealing with a lot like two weeks after the wedding. This aunt of her husband came up to her and said like, I didn’t get a thank you note from you yet, and she was like. Um, I’ve been kind of going through a lot and the aunt was just like, well, it’s your duty to get that out to me.

And meanwhile she’s like, why don’t you ask your nephew? Like, why are you me? And it’s just like this, like pressure on the woman to be like, mm-hmm. You have to get that out. Do no mind. It’s two only two weeks after the wedding or a couple weeks after the wedding, something bad happened. You know, it’s just like, why are we putting this pressure.

Kin Keeping and Traditional Women Roles

Payal Desai: Yeah, I, I don’t buy into that stuff at all. Again, that’s called kin keeping, right? Like when you are, and kin keeping is oftentimes placed, the burden is placed on the woman to keep the family together. You’re here. So now you need to work on all the con correspondences that occur to ensure that thank you cards are sent out, or invitations or birthday cards and like, so if, I feel like if you normalize all of that right in the beginning of your marriage, like.

That’s gonna now be your task for the rest of time. And if you’re good at it, like, listen, there are, I think my sister who put the photos, personalized photos, I think she took joy in it. Yes. Do it. Yeah. I don’t take joy. I’m not doing it. You know, I, I think that that’s fine. Like if, even if it’s a traditional role, but you really enjoy it and love it.

Then for sure go ahead and do it. I’m not try like digging my heels in just because I wanna, you know, like challenge the system. It’s just what didn’t work for us versus what works for other people.

Christa Innis: Yeah, absolutely. And that all being said though, too, I am a huge proponent of Thank you. Thank you cards myself, I.

Because I, I see, I see different things all the time. It’s like if you thank someone in person, like for kids’ birthday parties, I get like,

Payal Desai: mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: Moms are busy. We, we can’t always get thank you notes out. I get that. So if you thank someone in person for a gift or they open it, sure. Like that’s, I get it for a wedding, I think for us, like.

We just like had an Excel file and like, this is how like type A I am. And I was like, I’ll just write 10, 10 a week. And then like my husband would like label and he would like, like seal and like stamp ’em or something and we were just like, let’s just get ’em out. ’cause like, but that’s really

Payal Desai: good. That’s teamwork.

I love that.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Well, and it’s funny how you were talking about the laundry thing with your husband. Like with us it was like, I would, I als also like automatically put the stuff on my plate and my husband would be like. You know, I’m here. I, I can sit here with you and do it. And I was like, you like what?

Mm-hmm. Why would you do that with me? And he’s like, because I’m your husband. I’m here. And I’m like, oh, okay. And it’s stuff like, I don’t share on my personal page and stuff, but like people, I feel like people have a feel day knowing that he probably does the laundry more than I do. He probably thinks more than I do.

Like we, we split most stuff, but like, it’s just like we.

Payal Desai: We found what works for us and Exactly. And like, if that’s what works for you, then that’s great like that then that’s really all that matters. I’ve been thinking so much, like, not to go way too deep, but like I’ve been thinking about how like everyone really has internalized misogyny within us, especially like the way that I grew up and what I saw as like, um, you know, in front of me modeled.

Everyone has internalized misogyny. And one way that it showed up in my marriage is that my husband loves to cook and he always has. And so when we got married, that was sort of the role that he just like naturally took. And um, so we would meal plan together and everything, but like then he would like really execute the dish.

And I did not want like anyone to know about this. I did not want his parents to know, like I didn’t wanna make it a topic. I didn’t wanna tell, tell my mom because every time it came up socially, like it made me feel like I. It made me look bad. Mm-hmm. Like I wasn’t fulfilling my duty. And there was even one time we hosted his family over and I made him tell them that I come to the lasagna and he was like, okay.

Like I’ll tell them that’s okay. Like I’ll tell them that you made it. And like, I had not, I had assisted, I had sous chef. I was not doing it. And like, it still counts, but like, yeah. That’s the, that. I was so worried about how people view traditional roles that,

Christa Innis: oh my gosh, I feel so

Payal Desai: seen right now.

Christa Innis: I,

Payal Desai: I still, yeah.

It’s taken me a really long time to just now proudly be like, yeah, and it, it comes from women a lot of times, like women will make snide remarks and be like, well, he’s the one that cooks. Yes. Okay. Like, if I bring a dish to a potluck with friends, they’ll be like, well, what did he make? This is my husband.

What did he make? He made a buffalo chicken dip and it’s really good. Yes. So like, the way, the tone in which it’s shared or like just giving him credit, I’m like, why? What are we doing? Like, we have, there’s internalized misogyny in us.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I think it’s too, um, couples that maybe haven’t, you know, openly have that conversation of like, you know, maybe the woman does everything.

Mm-hmm. They almost feel like. I don’t know the right word to say, but like, when they hear someone, like someone’s husband does, does do some cooking, they’re like, oh, well my husband can do that. And so it’s like an instant, like they’re angry that it’s not working out for them. ’cause, and I, I’m not gonna say who, but there was someone close to me that like, when they found out my husband like cooked dinner for us one night, they were like, like to their husband.

They were like, oh, well you never cook for me. Mm-hmm. And it was just like this like awkward moment. ’cause I was like. Uh, uh. Okay. Like, I don’t know. Yeah. Yeah. Like, he just always, like, that’s the same, like, my husband really enjoys cooking. And cooking for me has always been like second nature. Like I do okay if I like focus, but it’s just not my, I don’t find complete joy in it.

Payal Desai: I don’t, I don’t find joy. I really don’t. It’s just nothing. I’ve never really found joy in it. Um. And I think that when you are in a partnership like we’ve been talking about, like when one person has a strength and they take it on, it’s not as though he’s in the kitchen like doing everything on his, I’m like, behind, I’m cleaning.

I’m sure you do dishes. I’m sure you’re like part of it because you both have to be part of it. Yeah. So I think that when people know he cooks, they just picture me like laying on the couch. We have two children. Somebody’s giving them baths, like somebody’s doing something. There’s always something. My hands are never just idle, you know?

Um, but whenever we know that a man is taking on a very traditional role, we automatically are not. We Society is, wants to criticize that. I don’t understand it. I really don’t get it

Christa Innis: 100%. I feel like there’s so much more discourse about that now and the older generations that almost didn’t really have a choice where it was just like the, the man goes to work, he comes home, dinner should be ready on the table, maybe even like older.

’cause I. I think, I don’t know. I think my parents’ generation was kind of starting to like equal a little bit, but it’s like grandparents’ generation for sure. It was like dinner on the table when you get home. Mom takes care of the kids and so now that they’re seeing this conversation, people that I feel like.

It worked for them, and they’re like, why can’t, why can’t the wife just be cooking? Why can’t this happen? It’s like, mm-hmm.

Payal Desai: You gotta, you gotta question who was it really working for? Who was, who remained extremely comfortable in the way that it was. Like, if we wanna sit here and assume or make the, uh, statements about how happy our grandmas were mm-hmm.

Cross culture, they were not. Right. They, they were oftentimes burdened without a choice. Yes. There’s not a lot of happiness in that. Okay. So you gotta just like, be able to critically talk about these things and not just be like, why can’t it just be like traditional?

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh well. Well, a hundred percent.

Yeah. I feel, yeah, I feel like, um, I kind of had, I don’t share a lot of my personal. Life on out here. But like, I’ve had kind of like two different, like molds when it came to my grandparents. And like my grandmother I’m really close to, um, she, I don’t even know when it was, I was a kid when she got divorced, but she, she’s always taught like such independence, like she’s done everything for herself.

And so I really like. I feel like I learned a lot from her. Yeah. She was like, women can do everything. Like she was an ER nurse and she’s like, mm-hmm. I knew more than the doctors. Doctors would try to come in and they would try to, these men would try to tell me what I knew, and she’s like, I knew more than them.

Yeah. And I was like, yeah, you go girl. And she was like, you just have, she just really, I feel like, brought a lot of that, that out of me, because I’m like, yes, not tra, she’s not traditional in that way. So I was like. Yes, we need that. That’s amazing.

Payal Desai: And rare, right? Like I’m sure for her generation that was a little rare and maybe even getting divorced was not accepted by society.

’cause it, it wasn’t as common for her generation, the next generation. Yes. It became like more common because, because. Women were no longer tolerating and like joining the work for like full-time. You have two parents who are working full-time and if the domestic labor is not, if there is an equity in that, then it’s going to cause conflict as it should.

Yes. Yeah,

Christa Innis: definitely. Oh my gosh, I feel like we could talk about this forever. I love it. Oh my God. Yeah. Like I, I’m so like, passionate about it just because like. I feel like it makes such a difference in the way like. I’m able to parent because my husband’s an equal part. Mm-hmm. And I just, I, um, I feel like so many women can’t speak up about that or they’re just, we’re kind of pushed into the role of

Payal Desai: mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: And this is not, I feel like stay-at-home moms are amazing and I think they’re, if that is your passion and goal and like, do it. Yes. But so many are pushed into that role without asking if that’s what they want or if they want. More. And I know I can get on a whole topic

Payal Desai: from that. I really could too, because I think that a stay at home mom, it, we need to start looking at that as a literal job with duties.

And you would never be working somebody around the clock, right? Like you would never give them 24 7 tasks like they, they’re working overtime constantly. Other jobs do have boundaries. Usually, or you can put in place healthy boundaries. And I’m just reflecting on like my job as a teacher, which oftentimes can have no boundaries, but I had to really work to do that.

So you’ve gotta be with somebody who also understands what you’re doing is a service. It’s a job and you may not be getting a paycheck for it, but you’re saving your family money. Right. Yeah. So there is, there, there is like a financial aspect of being a stay at home mom and we need to be talking about that a lot more than we do.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. We need to be valuing it as that. Yeah. The full job that you were, you were just talking about because, um, I used to work for like a mommy brand and I worked in a mom, like mom group and so many of these women were just kind of like. Almost like put in a spot where it’s like their husband controlled every single thing.

And so it’s like they wanted that stay at home job, you know, mom role, but then they weren’t able to like have a certain amount of money or they were, and it’s like, mm-hmm. No, we like value because. By her doing this, you’re allowed more time at work or you’re allowed more time to do this. Um, and so yeah, that’s one of, one of the many issues in our society right now.

Payal Desai: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. That’s

Christa Innis: a whole other topic. Okay. Let’s get into this week’s wedding story submission.

Payal Desai: Yeah.

Baby Bombshell To Full-Blown Riot

Christa Innis: Um, this might be a long one, but, so I’m just gonna start reading it and we’ll stop and we can react or feel free to stop me at any point. Here we go. Okay. My sister and I were always super close to our cousin and his sister.

When he got engaged to his first wife, they invited my sister, his sister, and me to be a part of their wedding. We happily accepted during the planning. They asked my boyfriend at the time to be a DJ for the wedding, and he accepted. We were getting everything set up for him. We had to travel out of state for this while also getting our dresses.

During the time his sister announced her pregnancy, his fiance did not like that, and then kicked her out of the wedding. Wait, what? And their cousin, so the The girl cousin?

Payal Desai: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Her pregnancy. And the fiance kicked her out of the wedding for that.

Payal Desai: Oh, wow. That’s awful.

Christa Innis: What, so I can’t imagine like being like, we’re engaged this year, so all next year, like till next year, you can’t announce anything important in your life.

Payal Desai: Yeah. Like don’t, don’t take the, take my thunder pretty much.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my. That’s crazy. Can’t imagine that. Okay. We traveled for the wedding and arrived a few days early so we could attend the rehearsal. During the rehearsal dinner, they handed out gifts to the bridal party. Only our cousin and our family spoke to us, the bride, to be barely said anything to my sister or meet the rehearsal or the following day.

Okay, interesting. Fast forward to the wedding and reception. The ceremony went well, but the reception was a complete disaster. Her parents went through the wedding gifts and cards to pay my boyfriend for his DJ services.

Payal Desai: Oh my

Christa Innis: God,

Payal Desai: that’s so

Christa Innis: kki. That’s so, this is why, and I’ve said this before, it’s like when you hire friends, they’re looking for like a little like.

Either like discount? Mm-hmm. Or they just not as, I don’t know, professional.

Payal Desai: I don’t think like friends and business ever mix, like I just No. No, they don’t. That’s a no for me.

Christa Innis: You need extra like contracts in place or to really make sure it’s someone that you want to work with, but most of the time it’s like, yeah, no,

Payal Desai: it just gets mucky.

It gets mucky, and then you’re trying to go through cards to pay. Dj,

Christa Innis: the number of stories that I’ve read about people hiring friends for photographers and vice versa. Mm-hmm. And then they ended up with no photos or they ended up with crappy photos ’cause it was someone just starting out. Like, no, we’re not doing that.

Guys. Like,

Payal Desai: well, and with a friendship or even like with family, like a falling out could occur. And so why would you with, if it’s a professional and it, you don’t have like a relation to that person. There’s a contract and you abide by that. But a lot of times if you’re working with a friend, like you may forego the contract ’cause it’s like, oh, we don’t have to make it all official.

Like you’ll just do it for me.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Wrong. Yeah. Oh yeah. There. It’s always that kind of person that you have to worry about that says, we don’t need a contract. It’s fine. You’re like, yes we do. I dunno. Something’s telling. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Um, it says, so to pay the boyfriend for his DJ services as they had never paid him before, also always get money down first.

That kind of thing. ’cause

Payal Desai: yeah.

Christa Innis: If they never, yeah, who knows if they ever paid him.

Payal Desai: Mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: Um, there was a lot of animosity between her family and ours the entire night. If my family was ever on the dance floor, which was most of the night, her family stayed away. What is the deal? Also, I feel like if something like that happened where they kicked out someone for announcing a pregnancy, I would already be like, this is weird.

Like, I don’t know. I don’t know. Especially like it’s his sister being kicked out of the wedding.

Payal Desai: Yeah, when

Christa Innis: you pick up your family and be like, why are you kicking my sister out for announcing a pregnancy?

Payal Desai: Mm-hmm. But it, do you think that there’s like an obligation to, uh, including like your husband’s female?

Uh, family members in the wedding party. ’cause I don’t think, there is no, like, if you don’t have a closeness with them, like you should not feel obligated. ’cause I feel like when you do, this is the kind of stuff that happens. Whereas if you’re just like, Hey, like your family, I’m marrying your family into your family, you’re marrying and into my family.

Let relationships happen like organically and over time people become close or they don’t, but like, just including them for optics is kind of like. A problem, I think. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Oh, for sure. You always see like pressure from like parents or something to have mm-hmm. Siblings all in the wedding together. Um, and I’ve even talked to a bride groom once and the groom was like, yeah, my parents are threatening to not pay for anything and not come to the wedding if I don’t have my brother as my best man.

I was like, well, do you want him as your best man? He said, Nope. I’m like, listen, the

Weddings, Traditions, and People-Pleasing

Payal Desai: more and more I like have lived life and like been in my marriage, like first of all, the wedding day now is very different than the marriage, right? Like the wedding day of the celebration. But I, I don’t know, for my own kids, for instance, like I don’t know if I will be so disappointed if they like choose not to do something huge.

It’s just like, not that like I want them to be happy in life. Like if that means that you elope, like I’m still celebrating you. I, I don’t know. Maybe I’ll change my mind, like call me naive. I don’t know. My boys are young, but. I think that there’s this almost like misconceived priority placed on, or I don’t know, the, it’s just, it seems like Ill place, like what do we really care about?

Christa Innis: Yes. I think, yeah, it’s all about like perception or how people are looking at us. It’s just, yes, and I feel like that’s where it gets kind of like lost and misconstrued is like we get so caught up in what other people think about us during the wedding or like. Parents of, you know, and it’s like, I still have

Payal Desai: time.

Or abiding by like these traditions that you don’t even really know the reasoning for. Um, and if, if you’re a people pleaser, like it’s over, it’s over for you because you’re not, even, the day isn’t, isn’t even about you.

Christa Innis: Oh, a

Payal Desai: hundred

Christa Innis: percent. And like people always like. I don’t know. People have their own like expectations when it comes to like how long you should be together before you get engaged or married.

And my husband and I were together a few years before. Okay, we’re going six years before we got engaged and all that. We lived together for a while and I know there’s many people online, they’re like, oh, there’s that so long. But like I think back to like my twenties when we were dating, I would not have had.

A backbone when it came to planning. And like we were, we just weren’t ready like we wanted to be, like Ready? Yeah. Our careers a little bit more and we wanted to like, you know, all that stuff, but whatever. Um, and so for me it was like, I think back, if I were like a young bride, I would’ve just been like.

Okay. Whatever you guys want. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I don’t know. Just people pleaser and like Yeah. When I got married I was like, this is kinda what we wanna do. Mm-hmm. My husband and I, we got on the same page. We were very like Sure of like, plus we also, like when you’re in our twenties, everyone’s your best friend.

Yes. We got married like early thirties, and so it was just kind of like, for us, we were like, all right, we were able to like cut down a little bit. Mm-hmm. By this point, these are friends that were gonna be like with us for like our life. Yeah. There’s benefits to both. I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Not knocking anyone that gets married young.

I was just like, I feel like it’s just, it’s just different for it is because

Payal Desai: you’re, you’re ki as you grow, like you’re a different person. Like I’m a different person than I was when I got married at 20. Six. You know, like mm-hmm. So I was a people pleaser and I wanted to make sure that everyone, my parents, his parents, everyone was like, happy.

And like, even if somebody showed up in the same color as me, I was like, that’s fine. Okay. You wanna stand on,

Christa Innis: on stage with me too while I get married?

Payal Desai: Do you? Do you just wanna do it with like whatever you want? Yeah.

Christa Innis: Do you wanna walk down the aisle like with me or like. You do you like, this is

Payal Desai: really, I, I’m okay to share the day.

God.

Christa Innis: Oh yeah. So funny. I know. I feel like everyone needs, like if they’re a, like if you’re listening and you’re a people pleaser and you’re a bride, you’d need a bridesmaid or maid of honor that’s gonna like really like. So you like your boundaries or your husband or partner hold you to your boundaries and like, speak on behalf of you if you have a heart.

Yeah. Speaking up. Because you’ll be so much happier if you set your boundaries and, and yeah. Stick with it.

Payal Desai: Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Gosh. Okay. Sorry. It’s, this was almost over. I know. We, like, we’re chatting a lot. I love it. Um, okay. As the night went on, my boyfriend played our our family song and everyone was having a great time.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone shove my grandfather. Okay, what’s going on here? After that, all hell broke. Loose fights erupted all over the hall, tables broke,

Payal Desai: and there was blood everywhere. What? That’s awful. Wait. That escalated so fast. I’m like, what happened? Like, so I feel like there is like a piece of this story missing where there was some like conflict or tension that is not being shared because there’s no way that.

It went from like kicking somebody out of the wedding and then like everyone’s angry at each other. Two sides, like of the family are not interacting, engaging. Dancing together, celebrating, and then all of a sudden it’s like a, a bloodbath. What? Yes. No, I’m like

Christa Innis: picturing it like, um, like Romeo and Juliet right now, or like the two sides are like battling.

Payal Desai: Um, well, and it started off very innocent. Like, hey, like they, they like chose the wedding party, we’re all in it, we’re excited, and then boom, like.

Christa Innis: I don’t know what the heck. This is insane. It says the bride’s mom got into my face for no reason. Mind you, I was only 18 at the time. She went to shove me, but I was pulled away.

Why are people just shoving people here? Like, what is happening? Someone threw my mom to the floor and broke my boyfriend’s custom built speakers, like, oh, no. Someone threw your mom to the floor, pushed your grandfather, like this is the most violent story I’ve ever read. Yeah,

Payal Desai: that’s awful though. Like think about that couple, you know,

Christa Innis: they can never get their families together until they have like a full family therapy session or something.

Yeah,

Payal Desai: that’s terrible. And you imagine it probably causes a conflict between them two. Because one thing that I will say is like. When you get married to someone like you, you, you come from very different places, right? Like you’re raised by different parents, and so there’s always going to be like. At least a little bit of conflict, right?

But like you are more willing to forgive and understand your family’s behaviors and they are as well. Like it’s, this is just human nature. And so if there is a big family conflict, like it’s hard to maintain like what you have with your partner, but then also not be a pushover for your own family. Like it’s a, you just, yes.

It’s delicate balance, that’s

Christa Innis: all. Oh, for sure. ’cause if he was like, oh, like Uncle Bob, you don’t know his humor. He just, he just made a little joke, you know? He’s like, oh, he’s, he’s just so crass, like whatever, like, you know. Yeah. It’s like, oh, but Aunt Mary’s the nicest woman ever. Like, you don’t know her stuff.

Right. You know? And like

Payal Desai: you don’t really know these things intimately about your spouse’s family, so you’re not as forgiving. I don’t know. Oh my

Christa Innis: God. That’s crazy. Okay, wait, there’s a little bit more. Um, it says the sheriff’s and police depar or state police arrived. It turned out, um, the bride’s parents had told my cousin and his new wife to leave, uh, leave the reception before e everything escalated.

So they had no idea what was going on. Why would they tell them to leave their reception? That’s weird. They didn’t stay married very long after that. She had been cheating on him the whole time. Oh wait, maybe that’s part of

Payal Desai: it. Maybe someone found out, maybe, maybe somebody knew and that would explain it a little bit.

But if I feel like there’s definitely something,

Christa Innis: yeah, and it’s like, but if she had been cheating, why is her family acting like he did something wrong or his whole family? That is, that is insane. Oh my gosh. All right. Well that is a, that’s probably one of the craziest stories I’ve ever read. I, I’m always like shocked and not shocked at the same time because I’m like, yeah.

Stories I get are so crazy. But that, that’s a whole new level. Um, yeah. That, that makes, that’s one for the books. Um, yeah. Okay. I know we’re getting. Well, we’re kind of a little over time, so if you have a little few more minutes, we’ll finish up this last little Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thing and then we’ll, uh, be on our way.

Hot Confessions and Opinions

Christa Innis: Okay. So this last one is reading, um, follower confessions. Okay. So you have to do with. Um, weddings or events that people sent me. Okay. This person said, asking people, um, this sounds like more of a, an a pop, a popular opinion. Asking people to be in a wedding should be done privately and not at a family dinner.

Payal Desai: I don’t, Hmm. It’s not that serious. You’re not proposing Okay. You’re just asking them to be in the wedding. I, I do love like the, uh. Kind of like fun reveals like girls will like put boxes together and like then have their friends over and they’ll open them and it’s sort of like a. I don’t know. Cute moment.

Yeah. I like a, I like a theme so that I always see those on socials and I’m like, that’s cute. But I don’t know. I don’t know if that would offend me where it happens.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I don’t think I would care. I mean, yeah, if you’re like with like a group of people and there’s some people you’re not gonna ask that are there, maybe That’s right.

Um, but yeah, if it’s a family and you’re like, everyone’s here and I’m gonna ask my sister-in-law, like, why not? Yeah. Um. This confession says, I hated wedding planning, so I told my mom the colors and vibe and let her her have at it. Hey, more power to you.

Payal Desai: Totally a personal choice. Like I if as long as you don’t have regrets, and as long as, honestly, as long as your partner’s cool with it, like if you both are just like, do it and do it your way.

Not for me. I, I can’t like hand off all of that for a day like my wedding, but. Okay.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I guess, yeah, that’s like knowing yourself and being like, you know what I

Payal Desai: do okay. But I do wonder if that’s sort of like a precursor to how you will be about decisions for the rest of your life. Because I do think that like sometimes if you are somebody who involves your parents in every decision, then like all of a sudden like they’re going to like.

They’ll shop with you and like they’re going to e everything. They’re like so, like intimately involved in and like, some of those decisions, like make it with your spouse. Like you don’t have to include your parents in everything. Yes. Yeah. Sort of uh, like a pet peeve for me. Like I think that some people take it too far.

I totally agree. You gotta cut the tie a little bit at some point. Like there’s a little too much dependency.

Christa Innis: Uh, yeah, no, definitely. ’cause I know, I know people that have like. Had like disagreements as couples, and then they’ll call the mom. Yes. This is very

Payal Desai: unhealthy. Like that’s,

Christa Innis: we need to figure this out together.

Or the therapist not bringing in because that’s like, you know, like they’re gonna obviously have their bias towards like their son or daughter and Right. That’s gonna make things very

Payal Desai: weird. Yeah. So you really shouldn’t be privy to whatever, um, disagreement that they’re having because you will, you will have bias.

Like, come on. Of course. Like, uh, I’m all like, I made jokes about how like my sisters could tell me like the worst thing that they, they’ve done, and I’d be like, that’s okay. You had your reasons. Like, we have each other’s back. Like, sorry. Yeah. So no, totally.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. Um, all right. This last one says, I feel guilt and sadness talking about our very small wedding because we couldn’t afford a big one.

Ooh. Aw. I mean, I, the, all right. Here’s the, the positive thing I will say about that is that you knew what you could afford. You didn’t go into it going bankrupt. ’cause think of how many people go and credit debt. Mm-hmm. Because they’re like, they want to show off this big wedding. But you can always do a big party later.

You could do a five year anniversary. 10 year anniversary. Yeah. Yeah. And, and just do something special or a family vacation and, um. And just remember like the, the moments you did have together, because I, I know it’s so easy Yeah. To prepare yourself and like look online, but that’s the marriage is what’s the important thing.

Payal Desai: I don’t know. I always go back to this, like, the wedding doesn’t make the marriage. You could have the most like, enormous, beautiful wedding. And if the, the marriage doesn’t, that doesn’t mean that the marriage is perfect. Mm-hmm. So like, yeah, I think that, I mean.

Christa Innis: Kim Kardashian had like a multi, what is it?

Million Dollar Wedding, and was married for like a few months to whatever that guy’s name was.

Payal Desai: Chris, well who was it? Chris something? Humphreys? No. Yeah. And then like even like with yeah, Humphreys and then even her like stuff with Kanye, like the engagement was really out of this world and the wedding was as well.

And

Christa Innis: exactly. That’s no of the wedding or

Payal Desai: the

Christa Innis: marriage.

Payal Desai: Yeah, and I know the grass is greener on the other side kind of thing. Like it’s easy for us to maybe say that when she’s mourning the fact that she didn’t have like a beautiful wedding, or I wouldn’t say beautiful, but like ornate, huge, expensive. But again, like down the line, you can honor the celebration in a different way.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I think there’s definitely, definitely opportunity there. Alright, well awesome. Well thank you so much for coming. I loved our conversation and how deep we got. I feel like I could talk to you forever about all this stuff. That’s why I feel like mm-hmm. Your content, like I said, I think I’ve been following you for years now, before I even was doing all this stuff.

So when I thought about people to have on, I was like, I gotta reach out because this was so fun.

Payal Desai: Yeah. And I never really. Made the connection, I guess. Like not in this way, right? Like when you first asked me to be on, I was like, oh, I like why me? Or like, what are we gonna talk about? But then the more I thought about it, I was like, the content that I do actually it is like, I think about the boys’ future and their relationships.

Not even just romantic, but relationships with everybody. Right? So it does connect. Yeah.  

Christa Innis: Absolutely. Yeah. It like weirdly all like, ‘ cause even when I started doing like wedding stuff and I was like, it’s such like a narrow mm-hmm. Thing or niche thing. But it really just relates to so many different relationships and communication boundaries.

Like I. There’s so much we can discuss on here. It’s, it’s crazy. Yeah.

Payal Desai: And it, like the issues too, or the challenges that people face are extremely cross-cultural. that’s something that I’ve learned from my content as well, is that it resonates amongst many different cultures and even age ranges.

So everybody sort of has some kind of tie to it and then has a way to, weigh in and, like, comment.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So for anyone listening, can you tell everyone where they can find your content and anything else interesting or exciting you’re working on?

Payal Desai: Yeah, absolutely. So Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube.

 the handle is Payal for style and I’m working on some things that, will be offered off, um, socials. And so, some like courses that I’m gonna be putting together and like an audio course, things like that for anyone interested in raising their children without traditional gender norms.

Christa Innis: I love that.

Well, awesome. It was so nice officially meeting you, and I’m so glad you came on. I had so much fun. And, we’ll be in touch soon. Yeah, absolutely. All right, thanks.


Mother-in-Law Drama: Wedding Secrets, Demands, and Hot Takes with Suzanne Lambert

When your future mother-in-law demands to crash your bachelorette party, you know the drama is just getting started.

That’s just one of the bold wedding hot takes Christa Innis and Suzanne Lambert—a DC-based comedian, writer, and content creator whose sharp wit and strong opinions have earned her a dedicated following—tackle in this episode of Here Comes the Drama.

From setting boundaries with overbearing in-laws to debating dress codes and cash gifts, no topic is off-limits. Suzanne brings her sharp wit to the chaos of wedding culture—why some brides treat their big day like a year-long holiday and the awkward reality of forced wedding party invites.

Plus, they react to jaw-dropping listener confessions, from toxic family members to wedding guests who just don’t get it. If you love wedding chaos, hot takes, and unfiltered humor, this episode is for you! 

Tune in as Christa and Suzanne break down the good, the bad, and the truly outrageous moments from weddings gone wrong.

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction 

02:33 Wedding Culture and Boundaries

04:52 Wedding Hot Takes and Dress Codes

11:39 Wedding Drama and Unpopular Opinions

32:20 Victim Mentality and Misunderstandings

34:48 Silent Treatment and Family Dynamics

36:15 Confrontation in the Pantry

47:57 Wedding Dress Shopping Drama

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • The unrealistic expectations placed on brides and why “Bridezilla” is often just a woman setting boundaries.
  • Why do some people turn every holiday into an excuse to post their wedding photos?
  • The hilarious (and sometimes cringe-worthy) wedding traditions that should be left in the past.
  • The great wedding guest dress code debate – should weddings have strict guidelines?
  • The audacity of guests demanding freebies and influencers expecting comped wedding services.
  • Why is wedding culture often riddled with passive-aggressive family dynamics, and how to handle them?

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  • “People have a real problem with women sticking up for themselves.” – Suzanne Lambert
  • “The behavior you allow is the behavior that will continue.” – Suzanne Lambert
  • “Do you want people to look good and feel good in your photos? Because that’s what’s important, not turning them into your aesthetic props.” – Suzanne Lambert
  • “ I feel so bad for these brides because they can’t stand up for themselves and they need someone like that” – Christa Innis

About Suzanne

Suzanne Lambert is a DC-based comedian, writer, and content creator known for her sharp wit and unfiltered takes on everything from politics to pop culture. She started performing comedy in 2018—despite (or rather, because of) an ex-boyfriend who said he’d dump her if she did. Since then, she’s taken the stage at acclaimed venues like the DC Improv, Laughing Skull, Arlington Drafthouse, Side Splitters, and the legendary Friars Club. Suzanne has performed alongside top acts like Mark Normand, Katherine Blanford, and Tony Woods.

Her comedic style blends amused bewilderment with strangely strong opinions on the most unexpected topics. A Georgia native, she carries a Southern charm laced with biting humor and a deep appreciation for the absurdity of modern life. Beyond the stage, she keeps audiences laughing on TikTok (@itssuzannelambert), where her content has been featured in Newsweek and CNN.

Follow Suzanne Lambert:

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

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Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi, Suzanne. Thank you so much for coming on. I’m so excited to talk to you. So, for anyone who doesn’t know, you can just tell us a little bit about you. And at first, I have to say, I love your content. I love how witty and narky. I don’t even know how you would describe it, but you’re so quick-witted.

And when I found you, I was like, this is an instant follow because it brings joy to my feed. I love it. I love that. Yeah. So just tell me a little bit about what you do. And, uh, I thought you’d be perfect for this.

Suzanne’s Journey From Wedding Critic to Viral Comic

Suzanne Lambert: Yeah, I’m so pumped to be here. Now I told you, but I started my comedy career really talking about wedding culture.

So, this is such a great fit, but my name is Suzanne Lambert. I’m a comedian, writer, and content creator. A lot of what I create content about is political, but we talk about all kinds of things. We talk about skincare; we talk about makeup. I’m a Georgia girl, and I live in DC, so I definitely have a Southern influence on a lot of my content, but I just really try to make people laugh at the end of the day.

And Have a little bit of fun and talk a little bit of shit. So

Christa Innis: I love that. Yeah. What I’m trying to do here with this podcast is share some crazy hot takes that people have when it comes to weddings and people who aren’t afraid to say what’s on their minds. And I feel like you emulate that pretty well.

And. I feel like you’re that friend that a lot of brides need when it comes to setting boundaries. Because a lot of these stories are crazy, either relatives coming in or a friend that tries to sabotage your wedding. And so I feel so bad for these brides, or it can be a story from a bridesmaid or whoever.

I feel bad for them because they can’t stand up for themselves, and they need someone like that.

Suzanne Lambert: Yeah, totally. I’ve been in that position before,  and we might get into it later where I’ve had to intervene on behalf of the bride and tell other people in the party or even tell people they’d hire that, ok, we need to do things a little differently because I think a lot of Brides are so afraid of coming off as a bridezilla don’t draw boundaries or stand up for themself when they need to. And then, of course, you see the reverse, where people are just acting all kinds of crazy. So there, Yes. It feels like there is, very often in-bein-between

Christa Innis: Oh yeah. It’s like you can’t win. ’cause even the stories were like I clearly show. 

The bride’s family is maybe like an in-law, or something is being horrible to her, and they’re like, well, She’s a bridezilla because she said no plus ones or no kids,  and it’s like, come on, right?

Suzanne Lambert: People have a real problem with women sticking up for themselves, And I’m like, if this was actually real life and you knew this person and you heard this was going on, there’s no way you would take that other person’s side.

But because they’re a bride. Are they automatically wrong? Like, no.

Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s insane. Like, sometimes my blood boils reading these stories because I’m just like, why do we have such hate towards these women? I read a crazy mother-in-law story yesterday where literally nothing the bride did could be right.

Like she could do anything, and this mother-in-law was terrible to her. And I’m like, why? It’s just that, misogynistic, like, I don’t know. Internal misogyny or something. I don’t know.

Suzanne Lambert: Yeah. The boy-mom thing can be really weird. My mother-in-law is an angel. I’m so thankful. I didn’t have to deal with any of that from members of my family, thankfully, but I’ve seen it, , and it’s wildIt’ske absolutely wild.

Christa Innis: Yes. Oh my gosh. Yeah, same here. I can’t relate to that. I’m very sorry for the brides that have to. So I kind of wanna start off talking about some crazy stories and wedding hot takes right off the bat. So you said you used to cover, like talking about the wedding industry, crazy things you’ve seen at weddings.

Is there something that comes to mind where you’re like, this was insane, or just a strong take you have on weddings? 

Wedding Social Media Habits That Make No Sense

Suzanne Lambert: Oh, so many. This is more broadly, like, culture, and it’s just funny, right? I find it hysterical that people will use any excuse to post their wedding photos.

Like, all of a sudden, people are super passionate about it. Arbor Day. They’re like, in honor of Arbor Day, here’s a wedding photo by a tree. I’m like, just say you want to post your wedding photos, but don’t make up these weird holidays that you’ve never observed before in order to post that.

And I do think, to an extent, there is a limit to how many. Posts you get about your wedding before I’m muting you. I’m sorry, and it’s not because I’m not happy for you, and it’s not because you don’t look beautiful. Still, it’s like you deserve to take other photos of yourself that you love. You deserve to think about other things besides your wedding uh And also, this is another one, the countdown blocks, and apologies in advance to anyone who has done this, where it’s counting down the number of days to your wedding, like it’s Times Square on New Year’s Eve.

Yeah. I find those insane. I’m like, are you good? That just feels crazy to me. Especially because usually you have the apps that’ll tell you. How many days your wedding is in and you’re like, Oh my God, cause it’s so stressful. Right. I’ve been there. But the thought of physically rotating a block every day to let you know how many days there are until your wedding.

It couldn’t be me. It just couldn’t be me.

Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s funny because I got those as a gift, but I don’t think I ever displayed them or used them. And I think I ended up re-gifting them because I was like, and sorry if someone’s listening, that gave it to me. I’m sorry.

Suzanne Lambert: I was like, shit. Did someone give those to me?

I hope not. But I didn’t use them if you did.

Christa Innis: Well, yeah, and the thing, too, I feel like that it’s different is, my husband and I had already lived together for years before we got engaged and married. So, to us, it wasn’t, like, countdown till we move in, countdown till, I don’t know, we were already at that point.

So, it was just, for us, it was just, like, another step,

Suzanne Lambert: I guess. Yeah, it’s goofy to me, and to be clear, who cares what I think? If that makes you happy, do it. I do just when people post the pictures of the countdown of the wedding, I’m just, like Oh, we got to get you something else to think about to like, you can’t, that cannot be your sole focus.

Christa Innis: It can’t consume you. When you were talking about Arbor Day and posting a picture, something that I always think about is when someone posts to celebrate someone else in their life, but they use their wedding photo, dude, that’s the first thing when they’re like, happy birthday to my second cousin once removed.

But it’s them as a bride and then in a family photo and arrow. And I’m like, Oh,

Suzanne Lambert: No, the craziest one I’ve ever seen in my life. This younger girl in my sorority, I don’t think she follows me anymore, so she won’t see this. She posted about her maid of honor, so like her best friend, and they have a million photos to choose from.

She posted about her maid of honor on her maid of honor’s birthday, and the picture she chose. Oops. Was her, the bride, like, facing the camera, you know, beautiful. Her maid of honor crouched down on her hands and knees. You literally couldn’t see her face because she was fixing it.

The bride’s veil. No, and I call those I happy day posts, it’s like you made their birthday about your wedding and it’s hard because I and my best friends are so bad About taking photos legitimately I was with them this past weekend and I said if we don’t get a photo this weekend We have to text our exes and we get to pick which of our exes we have to text That’s how dire it is.

We do not take photos. So I understand sometimes there’s not a lot to choose from but what I did is I picked a solo picture of some of my bridesmaids and my bridesmaid I had bridesmen after my wedding and I posted that because yeah, I was at my wedding, but it was only them looking beautiful like I was nowhere in the photo because it’s a wild thing to do,

Christa Innis: right?

Yeah, you’re like professional photos. You don’t always get your friends. especially it’s like the sabotage photo It’s like when you go out with friends and you pick the ones where they all look bad, but you look really good, Right?

Suzanne Lambert: Come on. And it’s like maybe if you post one from your wedding and one from theirs side by side To me, that seems fine.

But if it’s just a few, that’s just like a wild thing to do. I could not be me. Yeah. It’s like you’re literally looking the most beautiful you’ll ever look in your life. And they’re also there.

Christa Innis: And they’re awesome. Yes. Oh man, I love that. okay. So kind of talking about wedding hot takes, here are just a couple of different prompts.

I want to get your opinion on it. Do you think weddings should have dress codes or should guests be free to wear whatever makes them comfortable?

Wedding Rules No One Talks About But Everyone Argues Over

Suzanne Lambert: Definitely a dress code. I think anywhere you can provide clarity as someone planning a wedding is crucial to a good guest experience. I didn’t go as far as to make a Pinterest board.

That felt like a little much to me. But I wrote down a dress code and then examples of what that would be for the rehearsal. even for our engagement party. We did that because I think otherwise they’re just going to text you and ask you. And it’s going to be really irritating and you’re going to have a million other things.

This is a hot take on top of that. I think black tie optional is a really tricky dress code. I understand that people don’t want to force people to wear a tux or whatever. But then you have girls. Well, do I wear a long dress? Do I wear a short dress? And I’ve been in that situation So I think wherever you can provide clarity it will always lead to a better experience for the guests and for yourself

Christa Innis: Yes, I know.

I’m always like that. person that’s like searching the website, like, what’s the theme? Because as soon as you get to a wedding and you’re like, oh, I didn’t realize it was going to be outdoor. I was going to be in a barn. Do you want to kind of dress the theme? Yes. Yeah. someone that gave too much detail probably, but I was like, I want people to know what to expect.

Suzanne Lambert: No, me too, and I guarantee you people still asked you, didn’t they? Yeah. Yeah, like, what’s the dress code? And you’re like, did you happen to see the FAQs that I painstakingly put together for this very purpose?

Christa Innis: Right, I also am someone that, like, yeah, I don’t come in a white, Fall gown or something to my wedding, but other than that, I’m like, what a weird thing to say.

Yeah, that seems kind of crazy of  Hot take. That’s a bridezilla behavior. Right? But I’m like, if someone wanted to wear a bright red dress, I don’t care about that stuff. Like, they could have worn white to my bachelorette party and I would have been like, you look great.

Suzanne Lambert: Yeah, it’s okay if your dress code is casual.

Like, that’s completely fine. If that’s your vibe, cool. Do what makes you feel good. But just let people know. Because being overdressed is a bummer. Being underdressed is a bummer. So just when people know what to expect, I think that’s always the best policy. Actually, I’ll let you keep going because I have so many hot takes that are coming to my head, but I’ll love it.

I’ll react to some more of yours. I love,

Christa Innis: I love that. So this is your opinion on cash-only gifts or explicitly asking for money instead of traditional presence, people are so contrary, like not controversial people I’ve noticed. Yeah,  

Suzanne Lambert: I have seen no issue with that, If that’s what you want, I want to get you something you want. And honestly, I am not the best gift giver. I’m a gift card girl. Like I love giving people a gift card. I love receiving a gift card. So if you’re telling me all you want is cash, cool. To me, that’s great. I see nothing wrong with that, especially because a lot of people.

They’re trying to buy houses or pay off student loans, in the next lifetime. That would be nice. So I get just asking for money and we have plenty of knickknacks already.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I don’t get why some people get so, why don’t people like it? It’s so weird. Like, whenever I go to a wedding, I only bring cash.

Like I’m not going to bring in a big wrapped gift there, you know, showers are different. But, I was sharing about things like the honey fund or like Zola or not, people can just donate cash gifts or donate to your honeymoon or different things. And people were getting, in the comments, a certain generation, not a group, but they were like, I’m not paying for a honeymoon, and you’re not paying for a honeymoon.

If you gave someone 200 at their wedding, they could use it for Dishes, they could use it for sheets or they could go on a vacation, you know, why

Suzanne Lambert: no, don’t you like the person whose wedding you’re going to like, why wouldn’t you want to contribute towards their honeymoon? That’s so strange.

Christa Innis: I mean, you could buy them, whatever, and they could go return it and get cash for it.

So why does it matter what they end up using it for is my thing. I’m like, yeah.

Suzanne Lambert: Yeah, just for the sake of tradition. And you know what, if you want to buy them a little knick-knack like we had a few people buy us things off the registry. I didn’t care. Like, whatever. If you saw something and it made you think of me and you thought I would like it and you brought it to me.

That doesn’t bother me. I’m appreciative to get a gift either way But if you want to get them something physical you always could do that if that really mattered to you for some reason That’s beyond my understanding

Christa Innis: I know I don’t get upset about things like that

Suzanne Lambert: And again, I don’t know who has done this. I don’t even know if you have done this. Um, I think the wedding color code is bananas. When you are putting out Pantone codes on your wedding invitation, so people wear corresponding shades of lavender and blue, what’s happening? What, what’s going on?

I’ve seen people do it where they ask people to wear all black. That makes a little more sense to me. But I still just can’t get behind stripping people of their individuality. So that they are matching the aesthetic of a wedding. Yes. I think that’s crazy.

Christa Innis: I know, I honestly didn’t know that was a thing when I started making this wedding content.

And I would see it, like, come up in my feed or something and I was like, wait, people actually do this? Do they want their photos to look a certain way? I’m like, that’s over the top. Yeah. Like, sorry guys, you can’t wear that bright pink, but you can wear this dim pink that’s a little dusty and a little, I’m like.

No, too much.

Suzanne Lambert: Right, we require people to wear uniforms? And people don’t like how they look in that color. And not everyone’s color season is the same. Not everyone should be wearing a muted cool tone, right? that’s not, do you want people to look good and feel good in your photos?

That’s what was important to me. I let my Full bridal party be like picking your tuxes and picking your dresses. I gave them a few very reasonable parameters but I want you guys to look hot and I want you to feel hot and have fun because I’ve been to weddings where There’s one where I legitimately looked like I was a middle-aged pioneer woman.

It was so And that was the bride’s goal, by the way, like she did not want us to look good. She was kind of open about that, which I guess I can appreciate to a certain extent. But I looked so bad, and it affects your ability to have fun because you just don’t feel cute, Yeah. That was that hot take.

Whenever you mentioned dress codes, I was like, I gotta bring up the color palette.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I like how, You see more and more weddings now allowing individuality between their bridesmaids. I basically had a website and was able to pick any dress from this website. I had a nice family of colors.

 always in the same family. but I was like pick a style that’s good for your body type or that you feel more comfortable in. Yeah. Because I’ve seen weddings where they have everyone in the same Superfitted dress and it doesn’t matter what size you are. Sometimes you just don’t want a super fitted dress.

No, I’m not a body

Suzanne Lambert: You will not see me in a bodycon. Like it just isn’t for me Yeah, it’s like you want people to feel good what they’re wearing

Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s uh, my parameters were

Suzanne Lambert: like no super plunging necklines because I had one and then no super high slits also because I didn’t have a super high slit, but I had a slit

 and no strapless mostly because it was December and I just didn’t want strapless dresses. like, it was very easy for people to pick something they would actually like.

Christa Innis: Yes. And it’s totally normal to have some guidelines for your wedding party.

Yeah. They are going to be in most of the photos and everything, but to have your guests between some parameters is.

Suzanne Lambert: Yeah. It’s bananas. And to me, it sets a negative vibe for the wedding: you’re micromanaging what the guests are going to be wearing. and I’ve never been invited to such a wedding.

My friends would never ever do something like that,

Christa Innis: but

Suzanne Lambert: I feel like it would make me feel like I was on high alert.

Christa Innis: You

Suzanne Lambert: know, unsettled kind of,

Christa Innis: Like, Oh, I’m gonna take my hair down. Wait, am I allowed to wear my hair down? Yeah. Am I, are these earrings okay?

Suzanne Lambert: Like literally, yeah. and it was so funny and you see that creep into even like.

guests, almost like paranoia. So everyone in my wedding wore black. someone came up to me at the wedding. So sweet. They were like, I’m so sorry. I had no idea your bridesmaids were wearing black. I wouldn’t have worn black. I was like, Oh no, no, no, no. It’s so okay. I cannot believe you feel like you have to think about that, but it’s all good.

It’s the most common. I feel like it’s made people a little skittish.

Christa Innis: Oh yeah, for sure. I showed up to a wedding once wearing the exact same colors of bridesmaids and it was like a cranberry Merlot colored dress. I was mortified.I didn’t say anything, but I was like, Oh my gosh.

but it was like a January wedding. So it’s very normal for that time of year. So I was like. No one said anything. Yeah, like you would

Suzanne Lambert: have no way of knowing. I know people are trying to be polite because you see people who do care about the color palette.

But people were texting me asking me, What color the bridesmaids were wearing so that they didn’t accidentally match them, and I’m just like ah Like it doesn’t it matter like I don’t care, but I know Other people do but it just leads to like more annoying messages to have to respond to for the bride You know because there’s been this weird tenseness, I don’t know if that’s a word, created around wedding

Christa Innis: culture these days.

Totally. Yeah. It’s such a spectrum. It’s insane. okay. So this next part is. Pick a side. So the wedding drama debate. So people are sending me their unpopular opinions. So let me know what you think about these. Um, this first one says just because your family is invited doesn’t mean you’re invited.  

Suzanne Lambert: Hell yeah.

Completely agree. especially if you are paying for the wedding yourself. Um, I do think if you’re getting financial assistance from your family for your wedding, do think they have some say, um, but it’s like a second cousin, um, Twice removed. I absolutely don’t think that they need to be invited.

And I also think I would rather not get financial assistance from my family and pick who I wanted to be there than invite a bunch of random people who I don’t actually want to be there. And my husband and I did pay for our own wedding. So we were able to choose. Exactly who we wanted to be there and it made the experience so much better.

But yeah, I completely agree with that.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I feel like this is a common thing where if someone wants to pay and there’s strings attached, then it’s just not worth it. We had some assistance from both parents, but we paid for a good portion. And we had some

Suzanne Lambert: to clarify.

I definitely had some and my in-laws paid for the rehearsal dinner and my parents paid for my dress, and again, any contribution they made. Right. Lookout is very generous. So I just did want to clarify that. I guess my mom hears this. She’s like, wait a second. You’re like, hold up. Yeah. Yeah. But go ahead.

Christa Innis: Yeah. No, but I was going to just say like, but because I have a respectful relationship with both my in-laws and my parents, I reached out and I was like, hey, send me your list of who you want. but I see these stories where it’s like they have a terrible relationship with the in-laws and they’re like, well, we’re paying for this.

You need to invite all these people. And it’s like, that’s not how it works.

Suzanne Lambert: No. You need to be

Christa Innis: respectful both ways, I think.

Suzanne Lambert: Yeah, it’s tough because if they’re giving you financial assistance, I do think they deserve some say, but that’s just a crappy attitude to have, that you would give someone money with strings attached if it’s someone where not only is there not a relationship, but if, there’s a bad relationship, I think you should prioritize the people you love most in your life.

And I think family is who you make it. So it doesn’t need to be someone related to you by blood. And just because you were invited to theirs. It doesn’t mean it needs to be reciprocal either. So

Christa Innis: 100%. Okay. And this next one says, if I have to travel far for a wedding, I won’t be giving you an expensive gift.

Suzanne Lambert: That’s fine. Yeah. Yeah. I think Don’t go into debt for my wedding. Like please don’t be having debt collectors knocking on your door so that you can come to my wedding and give me a gift. Then you’re also gonna have a grudge against me that I Don’t even know about.

 the bride and groom are not keeping a mental tally in their head of, oh, well, they gave me a gift and they didn’t. And if they are, that’s weird. Then they’re buying you for a dollar amount. Yeah, yeah, a hundred percent. And I’ve heard, you should cover your plate, whatever.

I don’t agree with that. Either. I think people should give what they can afford and what they want to give.

Christa Innis: I think there’s totally different levels to it. But, yeah, for my own wedding, anyone that was flying in, I was like, I don’t want them to give me a gift. I don’t expect it because they’re paying for a flight.

They’re paying for a hotel. all on my dad’s side, they all had a fly in, so they’re paying a lot of money. And so I’m like, I don’t expect any extra gift from you guys. No.

Suzanne Lambert: agree. And everyone had to fly for mine too. Well, almost everyone. I think there were like four people who didn’t have to.

And also, for the rehearsal and the welcome party and of course the wedding, we paid for all the food, all the alcohol, transportation. So once people stepped foot into our wedding weekend, they weren’t spending any additional money. And that was really important to us is like, yeah, we’re not trying to put people.

Because I remember being in my early 20s, going to four weddings a year because I’m from Georgia and you get married as soon as you graduate college, essentially. so I remember being in that situation and I was like, we’re not going to do that to people who are coming to our wedding.

 That’s also why we had a longer engagement so that we could save longer and provide that experience.

Christa Innis: yeah, definitely. I think someone where before I go to a wedding, I know what I’m going to give. I’ve heard of crazy stories where like, they go and they see what the wedding’s like first and someone literally just told me this story a few months ago, or a friend of theirs at a wedding was like, Based on what they got for appetizer and like the setting, that’s what they gave back.

And I was like, no, that’s so

Suzanne Lambert: funny. They’re like, well, it was French onion soup. If it had been lobster bisque, I would have given you an extra. this doesn’t get that much love from me. That’s such a funny thing.

Christa Innis: It’s so odd what people think about. I’m like, how close am I to this person? And spreadsheet at dinner like, okay, this is

Suzanne Lambert: worth this

Christa Innis: amount.

This is

Suzanne Lambert: That’s wild. Yeah, like

Christa Innis: It’s crazy.See what you can afford if you’re close to the person who does that. I don’t know. Yeah,

Suzanne Lambert: I did not invite a wedding to get gifts and, or I didn’t have a wedding to get gifts and money, right? If I wanted money, I wouldn’t have had a wedding.

I would have just saved the money I spent. Yes.

Christa Innis: I have such a problem when it feels like you are just a number at a wedding. Yeah. And you’re only invited to be there. So like, In my early twenties, I felt like I was such a people pleaser. if I got invited to a wedding, I was like, we have to go or like a bridal shower, but then I was like, I got a little bit older, I was like.

Barely friends with this person. Why would I go to their bridal shower and they told me there for a gift. It was just kind of weird. Yeah. So I was like, no, I’m only gonna go to someone’s that I would want at mine. Or we have a good relationship. Totally. Completely agree. All right, let’s jump into today’s or this week’s crazy story.

Mother-in-Law Never Heard of Boundaries and It Shows

So these are blind reactions. I don’t read them ahead of time. And so we’re just going to react together. So feel free to stop me or interrupt me at any time. I’ll pause too. and we’ll see what happens. Perfect. Okay. My fiance and I got engaged in April and have been so excited about planning our wedding for next September. Before we even got engaged, his mother had been supportive, often teasing my fiance about proposing because his grandmother said it on her deathbed.

Love, love, love that

Suzanne Lambert: ally in grandma. She’s like, I got you girl. Yeah, she’s like, one last thing. Yeah. Iconic.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Anyways, she was very excited in general. So when we did get engaged, we called her from Ireland to tell her that he had proposed. In the same breath as saying congratulations, she couldn’t even finish her sentence before asking, can I go dress shopping with you?

I only have two sons. Okay. At the same time, I thought it was innocent excitement coming through. Looking back, I should have known where it might lead. Even when we were leaving that trip engaged for only two days, we told her that we had tentatively picked a city. We actually had already chosen the venue, but we didn’t want to share it yet due to her tendency to voice strong opinions.

Uh Huh, , . Yeah. So they kind of knew it was coming. Sure. She immediately started complaining to family members about the location. We chose, oh, here we go. Months passed. And by June, Father’s Day weekend, we had both sides of the family over. My parents, his grandpa, his mother. His aunt from his mom’s side during dinner.

His mom starts asking me for the address to the venue. I asked why? First of all,

Suzanne Lambert: Yeah, Google Maps exists. If she already knew the venue at this point,

Christa Innis: right? just look, I feel like it’s just to make a. Point being like,

Suzanne Lambert: tell me that she drags. My family, Irish Catholic, like it’s, passive aggression is our second language.

That’s exactly what she’s Same here. She wants to say something, but she’s not gonna say it, so she’s gonna ask you a weird question that she could easily, like, look up the

Christa Innis: information herself. Yes. Oh my gosh, the passive regression. Yes. Um, I asked why because I’d already sent the information when we finalized the venue.

Right. There we go. She said she deleted her texts and didn’t have it anymore. Who deletes

Suzanne Lambert: their texts? Like First of all, not, not a mother of that specific age group. They’re not deleting their texts. Second of all, you remember where it is? Like, are you in the CIA? Why are you deleting all your messages?

Not sketchy. Weird. That alone is, yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. She wanted to visit the venue. I explained it’s a private property, not open for tours, and even my fiance and I hadn’t seen it in person yet. Instead of understanding, she doubled down. Just send me the address. It’s fine.

Suzanne Lambert: No, it’s actually not. It’s not fine, actually.

Christa Innis: I don’t get the, like, aggressive, like, she went from passive to, like, now she’s aggressive. I don’t get that aggressive, like, I’m telling you what’s happening here.

Suzanne Lambert: Right. Like, whose wedding is this? And all that that’s going to do for most rational people, it just makes me not want to give you what you want, even if I would have been inclined to do it before.

Now I’m definitely not going to like it. I’ll actively go out of my way to make sure you never get that. I’d like to censor it from all of your maps apps. Like that’s how petty I am

Christa Innis: Yeah, the day of the wedding you’ll have a car just pick you up and you’ll be black

Suzanne Lambert: Like actually though. Oh, wow. I cannot. I’m so excited to see where this goes.

Christa Innis: It’s insane. Um instead of uh, I lost my place. Okay. Um, okay. She um Yeah. So she kept pressing until the entire room was visibly uncomfortable. When I said no, she started making excuses like, well, how am I supposed to know where to book hotels? We were 15 months out from the wedding, and I had already planned to arrange a room block closer to the date.

I assured her everything was nearby, but she continued to repeat, just send me the address. I’ll drive by. Okay. Fiance

Suzanne Lambert: needs to intervene. I’ll say that. Yeah. Where, like, where is he? Step in. Yeah. Where’s he at in the mix? He needs to step in and be like, hey mom, you’re doing that thing again. Knock it off.

Christa Innis: It’s the, it’s time. I know you’re a boy mom. Like, let’s. Right. And at

Suzanne Lambert: first I thought I was on the mom’s side because she asked if she could go dress shopping. I only have two sons. I’m like a girl. I want a daughter so bad. If, and when we have kids. So like. I understand that being top of mind, and I’m like, okay, yeah, I get it.

But this is not going the way that I thought it was gonna go.

Christa Innis: Yeah, it turned so quickly.

Suzanne Lambert: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Um, each time I said no, she came back with, I might go in, or I’ll just pop by. She then pivoted to my bachelorette party, nudging my mom and saying, Aren’t you so happy we’re going on our bachelorette? Oh, no. We? We

Suzanne Lambert: speak French now?

Why, who’s we? No, that’s not. What world is she living in? And do you know, like the kind of things you talk about at bachelorette parties and like often the activities and like paraphernalia that you’re wearing? Like I went to one, my best friend married my brother and like, you know, it’s bad enough sometimes kind of hearing about, you know, your brother and his.

And now wife’s, you know, sex life, like those are the things you talk about at bachelorette parties. Do you want to be hearing that about your son? It concerns me that you might. From what I’m hearing, I

Christa Innis: Maybe. I feel like some mothers like this don’t care and they like to be involved in that. But like this is even the weirdest story.

Like I’ve heard so many where you’re just like, Boundaries. Like Are you into your son? Like that’s, that’s what I’m getting.

Suzanne Lambert: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, Yeah, it’s so, I don’t know, it’s, it’s so weird. Um, at, I was confused and said, oh no. At this point, I was so uncomfortable from the conversation earlier that I firmly told him it wasn’t happening.

Oh no, that’s

Suzanne Lambert: So funny. Oh no. Oh no. That’s hilarious. That’s the best thing she could have said at that moment. I’m really proud of her. Yeah.

Christa Innis: She brushed it off by saying, It’s fine, we’ll do our own thing. My mom, knowing my plans to take a trip with friends, fully supported me. Like, what? Yeah, you’ll do

Suzanne Lambert: your own thing called, You’re not coming, babe.

Yeah. You’ll do your own thing called, You’re gonna go to Bridge and Bunko and hang out at your house like you would’ve been doing cause you’re not a part of this. Yeah. What? What’s happening?

Christa Innis: Oh my god, Bunko, I’ve not heard that name, that word, in so long.

Suzanne Lambert: That came out of the far archives of my brain.

Never have I once played a game of Bunko, but I feel like that’s still very much in the scene.

Christa Innis: Yeah. The day dragged on with her pushing topics like the China set from her deceased aunt and other things. That’s the whole story. Okay, I’ll

Suzanne Lambert: hear more about China. I’m like, I’m listening. What’s going on with that?

I’ll take some antique China. I’m not mad at the hat to be clear.

Christa Innis: Um, at one point, she had a bit to drink. She cornered me in the kitchen, completely unaware of how annoyed I was. She said, Is this my

Suzanne Lambert: ex boyfriend’s mom? Cause I actually was thinking, I wonder if she’s drinking. Um, and then when you said that, I’m like, Who wrote this?

Is this

Christa Innis: my ex’s

Suzanne Lambert: mother? Oh no. It all sounds very familiar. Well, I’m glad it’s an ex. You and I, you and I both.

I think my lucky stars every day, trust me,

Christa Innis: Oh God, I’m dead. Okay. Um, so she called me in the kitchen and she said, aren’t you just so happy I’m going to be your mother in law and not insert difficult family members here. So she’s blocking the name out. I looked her in the eyes and said, um, I don’t know if this is the person’s real name, so

I’m trying to think of, like, a crazy name. Um, Barb. Barb, I’m okay right now. But if you keep pestering me about things, I’m going to the venue. I’m not going to be okay. I added, this is my boundary. She didn’t seem to register at the time. But, oh, did she later.

Suzanne Lambert: Okay, Therapy. I love that. Yeah, we love boundaries.

I would love it if the fiancé was setting some. Um, and I’m annoyed on her behalf that she’s having to do it all herself. But I’m very proud of her for saying that. That’s not easy to say. Bye bye. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Especially when you’re being cornered because it sounds like she’s alone with this mother. Like why is no one around?

And that’s what they

Suzanne Lambert: do. I feel like people like this, like they want to get you alone at your most vulnerable, where you don’t have a chance to really, really think things through. So that’s impressive thinking on your feet.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. I would be shaking in my boots. I’d be like, is this actually happening right now?

I’m that person that in a scenario, I’m like, Why is this happening? And then like a minute later, I’m like, why didn’t I say that? I should have said that. Or as I’m saying it, I’m like, you know what? And boundaries that I’m like, shaking. And I’m like, that’s okay. I’m like,

Suzanne Lambert: Ooh, maybe we shouldn’t have gone that hard.

Maybe we take a deep breath. My yoga instructors, like generator response, feel powerful choosing. And I’m like, generator response, you feel powerful choosing when I like to spout off. So we all, we all have our struggles. Yeah. I probably would have been like, Yeah, I don’t know, crazy family members sounding pretty good right about now, and like, it would have started a whole thing, so.

Christa Innis: Yeah, um, my, okay. My fiancé and I discussed how upset we were with the day, okay, so now, now he’s around, um, and how comfortable she had made things. He was very supportive and felt the same way. Two days later, can you hear that when my earphones buzz?

Suzanne Lambert: No, uh, I only could when you did that, and it did cut out for like just a second, but we’re back, it looks like.

Oh,

Christa Innis: weird. Maybe it’s my headphones just dying. Okay. Anywho. Um, he was very supportive and felt the same way two days later, he called her to address it, telling her that her behavior was unfair and made everyone uncomfortable. She exploded saying, is this why I’m going to change her name again? Is this why Kelly doesn’t like me?

And hung up. She then gave us science by right. Like, yeah, the girl that wrote the story. Yeah. Okay. Like, huh? What, what gave it away? Like, are you

Suzanne Lambert: acting? Like, so there’s a level of awareness. Like, it’s so funny because my mother in law’s like this. they get there, right? They get, oh, Kelly doesn’t like me, but they don’t see any of the lead up to anything they could have done.

They look at it as a spontaneous event.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Suzanne Lambert: It’s like, oh, all of a sudden, and all of a sudden she didn’t like me. And it’s like, are you forgetting the a hundred things you did before she reacted the one time

Christa Innis: or, or the time that they finally like to snap back. It’s they’re so mean. I don’t do anything wrong.

And it’s like, that was like the story I read yesterday. I’m like, Oh my god, this victim mentality of like, why would she say that to me? I’m just your mom. I just care so much. It’s like, no, that was not the full story. No,

Suzanne Lambert: because if you cared, you, you would be like, oh my god, I hurt your feelings. I’m so sorry about that.

Like that’s a normal way to do it. Can you imagine if someone called you and was like, Hey, at our engagement party, you made us feel bad and sad and whatever, like you would be horrified because you’re a normal person. Imagine like. Like, that’s why they don’t like me?

Christa Innis: Oh my god. Like, what?

Suzanne Lambert: I don’t understand.

And, like, if she had been like, oh, that’s why she doesn’t like me, that would be like such a different thing. Like, oh, okay. I didn’t realize how annoying I was being noted. You know? Won’t do it again. Yeah. Like, sometimes you need a little kick in the ass to be like, oh, I’m acting weird. Yeah. But that’s wild.

And then to hang up, I don’t believe in hanging up the phone, especially on your own son. Right. Right.

Christa Innis: Like, yeah. Um, oh, this is, hold on tight. This is a, this is a long one. I love this. Sorry, Nellie, but I’m living for this. This is crazy. Okay. She then gave us a silent treatment for three weeks. I bet it was a really nice three weeks.

Suzanne Lambert: That sounds lovely. That sounds like a vacation. Yeah. Silent treatment. That sounds ideal. She should do that more often and with others in her life. I would, I would imagine. That is beautiful.

Christa Innis: Best case scenario. I feel like in these scenarios, just keep it going, please. She even ignored my fiance’s birthday, which is two weeks after the incident.

Normally they talk every other day. So this was very shocking until then we had no issues. And I thought our relationship was fine. Her behavior was hurtful, especially to my fiance. Thankfully his aunt who witnessed everything supported us agreeing that his mom’s actions were out of line.

Suzanne Lambert: We had a wonder if the aunt is on the dad’s side or the mom’s side, cause that also kind of changes things a little bit.

It’s her sister. Hopefully the aunt is going to be like, You’re being nuts. If it’s the dad’s sister, she’s like, Oh, I’ve seen this from the beginning. One of us wanted him to end up with her. Like, we all wanted him to end up with the other girl, you know, like, that dynamic is interesting, too.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I know. Like earlier at the party, I think she said it was her. I think she said the mom’s sister or the mom’s side. 

Suzanne Lambert: That’s like worse, honestly. Yeah. You know? Like, your own sister being like, yeah, but again, I hope that that, I hope the aunt is going to the mom. Like, if I saw my sister acting that way, or if they saw me acting that way, they would be the first to be like, hey, cut it out.

Christa Innis: Exactly. I’m going to take these off saying they’re dying already.

We had a 4th of July weekend. Okay. We had a 4th of July weekend planned at his family’s lake house, and she was supposed to join us.

She didn’t show up until the weekend was nearly over. When she arrived, there was no warm embrace, no belated birthday wishes for her son, just coldness. It’s like, why even come? It was incredible. Yeah. Awkward.

Suzanne Lambert: Cause she wants to have her Real Housewives moment. She thinks she’s on like Real Housewives of Orange County, like with a dramatic show up.

Girl, no one was worried. Yeah. No one was worried. They were like praying you didn’t come. Yeah, like, again, like, the silent treatment, the weekend without you, where we’re just like, chillin eating hot dogs, like, waving flags, like, it was all going really, the vibes were high, like, yes.

Christa Innis: Yeah, she likes, yeah, she wanted to come in with the sad music, everyone’s like, oh no, what’s, what’s wrong with Barb over there?

A fur coat.

Suzanne Lambert: Yeah, like, mope dramatically around the house. Puffin and puffin Like, what we would do when we were sleeping. Seven and like our parents made chicken for dinner and we didn’t want chicken like that. She wanted spaghetti. She didn’t want chicken. So now she’s making it everyone’s problem.

Yeah.

Christa Innis: Oh my god. So true my fiance I decided we needed to address this. He pulled her aside in the pantry while I stayed around the corner I love, like, the sour cream and onion chips

Suzanne Lambert: listening in,

Christa Innis: you know? That seemed like the best

Suzanne Lambert: spot.

Christa Innis: Funny

Suzanne Lambert: setting for this conversation. I love that she added that in.

Christa Innis: Yeah, the pantry,

Suzanne Lambert: It really sets the scene. It’s like, this is dire. This is a dire situation.

Christa Innis: That was the quickest spot. He started by saying we wanted to resolve things, but she exploded again. She accused us of keeping the wedding a secret because we wouldn’t share the venue address. A narrative she created.

She claimed I had promised to send it to her and didn’t, saying she didn’t do shit. At that point, I stepped in the conversation and said, Well, it’s my turn to enter now! She is like, What?

Suzanne Lambert: Wait, the bride said that? The bride. She’s like, well, it’s my turn to enter now. Step through, step in, push those bagels aside, tell her how you feel, you know,

Christa Innis: I love this.

This isn’t like, I’m, we were just talking about how so many of these stories, like I feel like the bride is a people pleaser and just like, you know, tells a story and I feel so heartbroken for her. Yeah. This is like the first where I’m like, oh my gosh, yeah, she’s coming, she’s

Suzanne Lambert: ready to go. And it’s like the behavior you allow is the behavior that will continue.

And if I had to guess, cause I’ve seen this. a million times. The vibe growing up was like a super passive aggressive where the son probably just learned it was easier to just, you know, not react and let it go and ignore it. But like, it comes to a head in adulthood and especially during weddings. So I’m glad that she’s telling her.

What’s what?

Christa Innis: Yeah,

Suzanne Lambert: they’re

Christa Innis: very proud. Yeah, this is a big moment. Um, she stormed toward me, got inches from my face. How big is this pantry?

Suzanne Lambert: I’m like

Christa Innis: thinking

Suzanne Lambert: this like, I’m still, I’m like thinking about the pantry. I’m like, wow. Pantry envy. There’s like three people in there at this point. Storming.

I’m like, dang. Whose house was this? A rental? Like, I want to, I want to come check out this, this dramatic pantry. Yes.

Christa Innis: Um, she pointed a finger at me and screamed, how dare you talk to me that way? How dare you mention boundaries and make me out to be some kind of villain? Well, you said it. Yeah.

Suzanne Lambert: I mean, if you’re feeling it, I’ve been boundaries.

That’s She’s like, no, no, no, no, we don’t do those in my family. We don’t talk about that. You’re gonna learn.

Christa Innis: Yeah. You do what I say in this family. Yeah,

Suzanne Lambert: like, clearly, like, the very, like, the power dynamic between, like, parent and child is very important to her. Because when you’re saying things like that, you feel like she should be Obeying.

Christa Innis: Yes. Oh, yeah. I calmly asked, Are you really going to approach the conversation like this? She responded. Yep. I’m so mad. You have no idea what this has done to me. Oh, my God. Here we go. Okay. She said she would never have spoken to her future mother in law that way, in the way that I spoke to her. She claimed we were leaving her out of the wedding, which wasn’t true, and insisted that she was just teasing me.

Suzanne Lambert: What? Oh, they love to say things like that. Oh, it’s just a joke. Well, it wasn’t funny.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Suzanne Lambert: So what kind of money

Christa Innis: Just giving it to me is teasing her. And like, no, it no, it wasn’t. That’s not what teasing is. It’s only teasing until like You’re told like, that’s not okay, and then it’s like, oh, or no, it’s only, it’s not teasing until you’re told it’s not okay, and then you’re like, oh no, it was just a joke.

And if it

Suzanne Lambert: was just, and if it actually truly were just a joke, and someone’s like, like, I’ll, I’ll make jokes, you know, cause I, I like to kind of test the limits with the people around me and see how jokes will play out. I made a joke the other day, my husband did not appreciate it, and he was like, That’s not funny.

I’ll actually say it really quick. It was kind of funny. I was like, yeah, you know, I always said I was just gonna marry for money and I married for love. Like that was, that was dumb, right? Like laughing. And he’s like, yeah, sorry, you didn’t marry for money. And I was like, well, it’s not too late. And he was like, don’t do that.

And I was like, okay, okay, fair. Like, sorry. You’re right. Noted. Writing that one down. So if you actually are joking and someone doesn’t like it, it won’t offend you to say sorry, wasn’t a good joke, we’ll table that one for never, you know.

Christa Innis: Right, you don’t keep pushing and keep going and When it clearly was not a joke.

I don’t know why it keeps doing that to my face. I like

Suzanne Lambert: It’s dramatic. I know, it’s like,

Christa Innis: whoa!

Suzanne Lambert: To see like the clothes. I love it, I’m imagining cameras in the pantry. Like, I, it’s spitting. It’s a whole

Christa Innis: dramatic scene. Like, I’ve started kind of picturing these as like SNL skits sometimes. Like little sketches, you know?

And I’m like, oh my god, all the people in the pantry. Yeah. What if like the father in law comes

Suzanne Lambert: in? I’d be listening outside because I’m toxic. Like I would fully be like, I’d be like, Can I just get the hot dog buns? Like, I don’t, not trying to like cause a thing. You need everything in that pantry. You guys have all the food in there.

Like, we’re starving. There. Yes. Go in the garage.

Christa Innis: I’m so dramatic. I would do the same thing. I would probably be like, literally all the food’s in there. I’m starving. I will die if I don’t go into that pantry right now. And

Suzanne Lambert: I’d stay in and just like, like, watch what’s going on. You guys need a ref? Yes. I’m here.

Yeah.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. When I explained she made me uncomfortable, and that’s why I mentioned boundaries, she was appalled. She acted like I cussed her out, completely missing the point. The conversation dissolved. Devolved in her screaming while my fiance and I stood there stunned. Oh my gosh.

Suzanne Lambert: Ow.

Christa Innis: The next morning she returned to the cabin.

I knew I had to confront her because I felt so unsettled. I pulled her aside with my fiance present and said, the way you spoke to me was unfair, disrespectful, and beyond damaging. Um, you said, how dare you talk to your mother in law like that? And I say, Or maybe she said, and I say, how dare you speak to me that way?

How dare you

Suzanne Lambert: talk to your daughter in law like that?

Christa Innis: Right. You know? It’s like, it’s that older thing where they think like, you respect me no matter what. You owe them something. No. And it’s like,

Suzanne Lambert: no dude, that’s not how this is gonna go.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Suzanne Lambert: At all. That might have been how it was with my husband and you as his mom, but that’s not the kind of behavior that I tolerate, nor, nor should she.

Christa Innis: Yeah, yeah. It’s like, you didn’t raise me. I’m not your daughter.

Suzanne Lambert: God, therapy eludes these people, I swear. It’s like, just go to a therapist, lady. Like, you have some problems.

Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s always the people who need it. Yeah. People like that, like, never see that they’re the problem. Yeah, which seems

Suzanne Lambert: awesome. It seems like an awesome way to live.

Imagine never thinking you’re the problem and everyone else is. Mm hmm. Instead of, like, lying awake at night thinking about something I said to someone, like, over the weekend that was, like, harmless, but, you know, like, they’re, they’re just thinking everyone else is wrong and they’re right. Like, it seemed, I’m, I’m jealous.

I wish I didn’t have a conscience. It seems fantastic. It seems really easy, you know? Oh yeah, it must be really nice. Yeah. Teach us. Have her on next. Teach us how to have no conscience. You seem like you have a really easy life. Just not care about it.

Christa Innis: I will literally, like, look at someone the wrong way or say hi the wrong way and I’m like, Do they think I hate them?

Yeah. No, for

Suzanne Lambert: sure. Like, Or people will say things like, Oh, when I met you, I thought you were, you know, one way. And I’m like, oh crap. Like, is that the vibe I’m putting out? You know, like, I hate to think about, like, actually genuinely hurting people if, like, they’ve done nothing wrong, you know? Like, it’s Right.

It’s crazy.

Christa Innis: Yes. Uh, for two She says, For two years, I’ve dedicated my time and energy to your son and your family, and you have no right to treat me like this. I started crying as I spoke, and my fiancé stepped in to back me up. She tried to apologize and hug me. I’d be like, don’t touch me, but I was overwhelmed.

I could barely respond. Eventually she left saying, I’m happy. We talked,

I would be, I’d be more mad at

Suzanne Lambert: that. I think. Oh, that’s icky. Like, I’m not a therapist, thankfully. That would be bad, but like, that, it’s like, you wanna, she wanted to break her down until she was at her lowest possible point. So in a way, she, the mother in law, like, got what she wanted. Is that the end of

Christa Innis: the story?

Um, there’s one more little paragraph.

Suzanne Lambert: Okay. Hold on. Pause on that. Like, that That’s wild and honestly, it makes me also feel sad for her fiance like what he went through growing up? If that was the kind of dynamic it’s like, oh, you’re only cool with me if I’m like unhappy, you know, like

Christa Innis: That’s why it’s such a weird mentality to me because like, you know, we were talking about like, you know, she’s like a boy mom.

So like, wouldn’t you be excited? Like, oh, I have a future daughter in law like we can do like girly stuff or whatever.

Suzanne Lambert: Yes.

Christa Innis: And so like, why is there like a competition or like rivalry? I don’t understand if you have boys or girls. I have a girl.

Suzanne Lambert: Yeah. Okay. So yeah, so you can’t even like relate to the boy mom mentality, but I’ve always said like, I want a daughter, and I, I can’t have a gender reveal, well one, I just wouldn’t for personal reasons, but like, I couldn’t because if it weren’t a girl, like I know I would be like so sad, cause I love, I want a daughter so bad, and I love boys too, like I’ll be happy with either, whatever.

Yeah. But like, Especially if you’ve always wanted a girl, which it sounds like the mom did given that she was so excited to go wedding dress shopping. Wouldn’t you be like, Oh my God, I have to make this girl be obsessed with me. Yeah. I have to make her love me. Like my mother in law is, and she has one girl, but she has two boys, but she’s such a girl’s girl.

And she’s always like doing sweet things and being thoughtful. And like, she was amazing during the wedding process. And this girl deserves that. And I hate that she’s, like, clouded what’s supposed to be happy times with her wild, untheorized behavior.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I know. Same here. Like, my mother in law has an amazing style.

Like, she has better style than me. And she’ll be like, here, this is what I got, like, It’s like another girlfriend. Like, she’s so awesome. Totally. I need to

Suzanne Lambert: text mine back, speaking of crap. Gabby, if you hear this, I’ll text you back. I’m sorry. Um, yeah. No, I, I completely agree. God, and if I was this girl’s mother, I don’t know if this is, like, things on the fiancé’s side, but if I heard another grown ass woman talking to my daughter this way, I’d be like, listen, mother in law versus mother in law, like, this is wild.

Yeah, like, what’s, what’s the goal here? And what’s, and like, I don’t know, she hasn’t, she actually weirdly, maybe not weirdly, she hasn’t mentioned her future father in law. So I don’t know if there is a future father in law, or if he’s just so used to the behavior that he’s just defeated and doesn’t say anything.

But I’m like, surely this woman has someone in her life. That’s

Christa Innis: when you’re going

Suzanne Lambert: to stop acting this way.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I wonder if she’s like a widower or something, and so she’s like, Oh, my sons are all I have. Right. You know, that would make it even more intensified. Yeah. Cause I feel like guilt on the sons, but you need to take care of me.

But dang, I wish we could ask her, like, give us

Suzanne Lambert: more. But, uh, yeah, I feel like maybe she would have mentioned that if she were, but that’s, um, wow. That’s it. What a, I mean, I feel like

Christa Innis: With also this kind of strong personality, I feel like also the other option is that, like you said, the father in law is just exhausted.

He’s like, I don’t even fight with her anymore. We’ve been married for 30 years. I just sit in the back, you know, my recliner, which stocks,

Suzanne Lambert: It’s like, you can’t just give up, you know, just because you’re used to it. Other people aren’t used to it. This better

Unfiltered Takes

Christa Innis: end well, or I’m gonna be upset. Alright, let’s see.

It’s been almost two months since this incident. I’ve made an appointment to go dress shopping with my mom, my fiancé’s aunt, Okay, so it was like the sister, I think. Okay. Oh, and his mom. All present on that original incident deck in a few weeks. Okay, so she wrote this before this dress shopping thing happened.

So there might be another thing. I texted them and while everyone else was enthusiastic, her response was noticeably less so. It has been a nightmare, but I hope this story entertained someone. It definitely did. And then she said, part two coming soon questions. Yes! So I’m gonna have to reach out to her. I want to come

Suzanne Lambert: back for part two.

Oh my god, we should do that. Um, I am inviting myself. Wait, I want her, I want her to beat her at her future mother in law’s own game and try on the most outrageous, like, showiest, skankiest dresses that exist. Even if that’s not her style. And be, like, dead ass serious. Like, essentially, like, try on lingerie.

And be like, yeah, I love this one. Cause you know this mother in law will hate that. I also do not support her going. Um, I think that’s a bad idea. I actually went solo quite a few times before I went with anyone else because I had no idea what I liked and what I wanted.

Christa Innis: Um,

Suzanne Lambert: and I, and I liked doing it that way, but, um, I hope her mother in law is not the type to like body shame.

I mean, it definitely sounds like she is. Yeah. Um, Oh, I don’t want her to be invited, but I hope if she does go that she has a little fun with it and she just tries on really ugly, crazy tacky dresses.

Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s like my thought is like, she’s like, okay, let’s just move forward now, but it just sounds like the mother in law never actually apologized.

And so I feel like she should lose privileges to like come to things then because yeah, you’d want to be comfortable like you’re trying on your wedding, future wedding dress possibly. So right.

Suzanne Lambert: And she needs a mean friend to go with her. I’ll go with her. She needs someone who will be like, If you say one more thing like that, Judy, you’re like, you’re out or like, honestly, she should even like Warren, the bridal stylist and the people who work at the salon, like my mother in law’s crazy, please intervene where necessary, but she needs someone who’s going to vouch.

Yeah. For her.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Because it can’t be an engagement party or whatever, the cookout was like part two where the mother in law is saying stuff to her and everyone’s just watching. And

Suzanne Lambert: phones need to be forbidden because her mother in law absolutely sounds like the type to take a picture of the dress and post it on Facebook.

Yes. Like she will. And I’ve heard of them doing that. I’ve heard of mothers doing that.

Christa Innis: Yes. I literally just saw a story, um, actually Cassie, who, who was on like a few weeks ago, she, um, shared a story about an aunt doing that. She was shopping for dresses. Yes. Posted a picture, didn’t see anything wrong with it, and like, fought hard, and they were like, you can’t do that.

Like, you’re not involved in any other wedding stuff now. She needs to take her

Suzanne Lambert: phone and just like, throw it in the street. Like, cause that, she will do that, and she will also definitely verbally describe it to people, I’m sure. Oh yeah. Which you may or may not, I mean, verbalizing it is one thing, seeing it’s another, but.

Oh, I don’t like

Christa Innis: that. Yeah, I’m gonna have to follow up with her and then we’ll, it would be kind of cool if she’d want to come on and chat. Yes! People are like, they don’t want to see their, like, Heather face, but if I can figure out a way to like, we’ll have her

Suzanne Lambert: camera off. One of those things in like, the mystery shows where their like, back is facing and they’re backlit.

It’s like a deep voice or something. It’s like SVU. So not SVU, but like criminal mind or whatever. Yeah, it’s so funny. Yeah, a voice garbler. Oh my god She does it does sound like my who could have been my future mother in law. So I I know this type of woman all too well And it does not get better, unfortunately, uh, Yeah.

You just learn how to deal with it. And for the long haul, I guess.

Christa Innis: Yeah. But you gotta

Suzanne Lambert: beat them at their own game. So I think she should just try on a lot of really ugly dresses. And then, and then guess what? If she doesn’t find her dress at this, which I honestly hope she doesn’t, She did the thing. She checked the box.

She brought her mother in law with her. She can just go with her mom and the people of her choosing.

Christa Innis: Yeah. To the

Suzanne Lambert: next appointment. I mean, I had like, I don’t know about you. I think I was on my seventh visit to a bridal salon before I finally found one. Like, I didn’t try it on and find it immediately.

So I’m hoping that’s the case for her.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I honestly wish, like, looking back that I spent more time. I think I was just, I’m like such a Box checker like and I like it. But I did a lot of research online first. So I knew the exact style of Nice, and then I had like one day where I just bought like I brought my maid of honor one bridesmaid. My mom and my mother in law are very short and sweet.

I think I tried on like six dresses and I found it Oh, that’s awesome. Oh, that’s amazing. Yeah, I

Suzanne Lambert: don’t like wasting time. I’m just like let’s do it But I, efficient efficiency. Yeah. Like I, I, I liked my dress by the, I didn’t, I wasn’t like, I love it, but I liked it enough. I liked it enough, if that makes sense.

Like, I didn’t think I was gonna have the teary moment, like I just, me personally, I just wouldn’t have that over a wedding dress. And I think it’s amazing that other people do, and I have it over other people’s. Mm-hmm . But everyone else was crying, including my cousin Liz, who doesn’t cry. unless she’s like laughing at something and I was like, okay, if Liz is crying, this is like straight up.

So I hope that she will. She needs to have a force field around her to, like, protect her joy, um, and not let her mother in law say anything. And honestly, if her mother in law starts critiquing her, be like, oh, is this what we’re doing? You go try on some dresses and I’ll critique you next. Yeah. Surprise, mother in law.

Yeah. We can

Christa Innis: both do this. Oh my gosh, I love that. Okay, well that was a crazy story. Um, The way I like to end these, um, episodes is our weekly confessions game. So a couple people send me their confessions on Instagram, and I know we’re kind of going a little over time, so. That’s okay. We can move quickly.

Yeah, sorry, I’m a, I’m a gabber. No, I love it. This has been so much fun. I’ve been loving it. Um, so these are people, Instagram. Um, and so, let’s react to them. Okay. First one says, my mom, oh gosh, my mom called my husband, my ex fiancé’s name, on our wedding day.

Suzanne Lambert: Oh no! Did the husband hear? Like he knew it happened?

Um, I assume he must have. I’m trying to think of anything in my head. I’m like, maybe he didn’t know. Oh yikes.

Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s, that’s rough, especially on the wedding day.

Suzanne Lambert: And things just happen like that, and it doesn’t mean anything, you know? I actually, if it makes her feel any better, not gonna say who, a close friend on her wedding day referred to her now husband as her ex husband’s name.

Christa Innis: Oh no. And she

Suzanne Lambert: was like, oh my god, don’t tell ex I said that. And I was like, no, of course, but like, it doesn’t, it doesn’t mean anything. Like, it just happens sometimes.

Christa Innis: Yeah,

Suzanne Lambert: you’re like in the moment,

Christa Innis: and

Suzanne Lambert: it’s not like a friend saying,

Christa Innis: yeah, it’s not like Ross saying Rachel’s name at the end of the aisle.

Suzanne Lambert: That would be a very different thing,

Christa Innis: yes.

Suzanne Lambert: Yeah. Sometimes it just happens. And also, like, our parents can never remember anyone’s name. My dad has known all of my friends for, like, over a decade, and he has no idea who anyone is. Don’t put too much stock into it. I don’t know. I’m trying to rationalize it.

Christa Innis: And it’s, like, the ongoing joke with me and my friends, too, where, like, our dads have known all of us, like, for so long, and it’s, like, just, like, a dad thing, I feel. And he’ll

Suzanne Lambert: be, like, no, I’ve never met that person. He’ll look at me, like, I’m crazy. He’s, like, I’ve never met them. I’m, like, dad. Like, you’ve, they’ve actually told you, like, secrets.

And like confided in you. You’ve given them advice that they still talk about. You most certainly know them. He’s just really playing good at the game of like, Oh, I kept that secret really well. Minding his business. Yeah, right. He’s like, well, I don’t, I don’t know anything about that. I’m a

Christa Innis: Scorpio. I keep secrets.

Oh my gosh. Okay. This next one says, my brother’s ex forced her way into my wedding party and now she’s in all of the photos. Her brother’s ex? My brother’s ex-fiance. Oh, yeah, my brother’s ex.

Suzanne Lambert: Oh, well That’s why you gotta put them at the end of the picture, so you can crop them out very easily if needed.

Christa Innis: Well, and I have a lot of questions, like, how does someone get, how does someone force their way into a wedding? That’s not a

Suzanne Lambert: thing. That’s when you say no.

Christa Innis: It’s like, it’s like that person that just automatically is like, can’t wait for the bachelorette party, like this mother in law. But it’s like, oh, when am I coming to the bachelorette party?

What dresses are we getting? And then you’re afraid to say no. Right. Yeah.

Suzanne Lambert: Like, I didn’t have my sister’s in law in my wedding party because I’m closer with people than I am with them, but they also didn’t think anything of it, right? Like, just because we’re related doesn’t mean you have to be included, um, so, yeah, there’s, there’s no such thing as forcing her way in.

Unfortunately, you did kind of. Let her do that. Yeah, I know it’s hard, but that’s awkward. Yeah when they’re in the photo Then you’re just like well get someone on. Hey, there’s someone on reddit who can photoshop them out. Like I Just go go find a good photoshopper

Christa Innis: Yeah, definitely Um, okay This last one says I cut off my sister for trash talking about myself and my husband to one of my children . Good.

Yeah. Yeah. That’s a bold move on the, um, sister for talking trash to your child. That’s weird. And I love

Suzanne Lambert: that the kid told you. Loyal. I’d be like, yes, you’re my kind of kid. Yes. Keep that up. And I wonder what, I wonder what she said. I know. That, and kids repeat everything they hear. Yeah. Really think they’re not gonna tell her that you were talking about her?

Like, they repeat everything. Even when we don’t think they’re listening. Right. And it’d be weird to

Christa Innis: Be like, don’t tell your mom this. Like, well, right. That, I, yeah. That would be Like, that’s a whole new

Suzanne Lambert: level of, like, creepy and weird. Like, we don’t do that. That’s a, yeah. That’s like a new definition of red flag.

Like, if 100%. Yeah. Oh, good. I’m, I’m happy she cut her off. That’s Good for you. That’s awesome. Wild. Yeah, I’m feeling really fortunate for the family. I have right now, to be honest, like yeah, it could be worse. It could be worse.

Christa Innis: I just say like people like there’s some people when I first started saying like different stories, they were like, Oh, you’re spreading toxicity and I’m like, but then I would get messages and they’re like, no, you’ve allowed me to like have boundaries or you allow me to see like great relationships.

I do have. And I was like, Honestly, like, it does the same thing. Like, I’m like, It makes you really look at your, like, relationships you do have and you’re like, Okay, I have good people in my life. Or, like, here’s how to communicate when something’s not right. Or, like, It makes you see what not to do.

Suzanne Lambert: It’s not promoting toxicity.

Like, also, like, toxic positivity is very much a thing. Trust me, when I started doing stand up comedy, I would make silly, harmless jokes about wedding culture. People were mad, like, people get very sensitive around the wedding topic, and I’m like, dude, you have to be able to laugh at yourself, and also, what you’re doing helps other people see, oh, my mother in law does that.

And I, I thought maybe I was alone in feeling like it was not okay, but now I’m being validated. It’s not. Right. And also, they did the toxic thing, we’re just talking about it. Exactly. Right? We’re not toxic. We’re perfect. That’s been established throughout the entire podcast. 100%. Um, no, that’s, yeah, I feel very fortunate, honestly.

I’m gonna go call my mother in law and be like, just wanted to say, for not cornering me in pantries recently. We gotta find out more about this pantry. Yeah, I do. Would love to see a floor plan. Um, it sounds like a gorgeous house. Uh, I would like to hear more about the house. Maybe we’ll get an invite next year.

I would love to go. Live show in this pantry. Where we have a microphone up to the, up to the pantry. And actually, if anyone has any kind of beef they need to air out, that’s where they have to go. It’s like a dedication.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. It’s like the real world. Like we’re like, they would have cameras everywhere.

Like the confessional was in the pantry. Yes. It’ll be the confessional.

Suzanne Lambert: Wow. Soon.

Christa Innis: We have a

Suzanne Lambert: TV, so yeah, I think, no, is it, no, I know one of them is like, um, in the political world now. So that’s, that’s love that one of the reality TV, real world alum. So, you know, I’ll be looking that up. Yeah. Reality stars are just everywhere these days.

They,

Christa Innis: Yeah, reality stars. They’re just like us

Suzanne Lambert: So much.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, well, thank you so much for coming on. I had so much fun, like hanging out with you. I love your takes and this was just so much fun hanging out. Um, can you tell everyone where they can find you, what you’re currently working on and all that good stuff?

Absolutely.

Suzanne Lambert: You can find me on all socials, so TikTok, Instagram, at, it’s Suzanne Lambert, S U Z A N N E. People think Susan and Suzanne are the same name, they’re not. Um, and I’m, you’ll see me every day posting videos, I talk about politics, I talk about makeup, skincare, just, whatever, spur of the moment. Um, and I, I co op, or I collaborate with some news outlets, so sometimes you’ll see that, see that too.

And I have a podcast launching soon, so more about that. So that will definitely Uh, be hitting you up once that’s live, but, uh, just keep a lookout.

Christa Innis: Awesome. Very exciting. Well, awesome. Well, thank you so much for coming on. It was so much fun and like officially meeting you and I love your content. Yeah.

Suzanne Lambert: Thank you.

I love yours. Thank you.


Vows, Chaos, and Mother-in-Law Mayhem with Lucette Brown

What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever witnessed at a wedding?

From mother-in-law meltdowns to guests causing a scene on the dance floor, weddings are full of unforgettable moments—and sometimes, outright chaos!

In this episode, Christa sits down with TikTok creator and former event planner Lucette Brown, the creative force behind the viral skits at “Events and Affairs.” Lucette shares her journey from behind-the-scenes wedding planning to creating hilarious content inspired by the quirky and dramatic world of weddings.

Tune in as they chat about cultural differences in wedding traditions, hilarious stories that inspired Lucette’s skits, and tips for keeping the dance floor packed. Whether you’re planning your big day or just love a good laugh, this episode will have you hooked!

Listen now and prepare for a fun dive into the world of wedding chaos and creativity.

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction and Greetings

01:28 Getting to Know the Guest

03:42 Crazy Wedding Stories

07:35 Wedding Traditions and Hot Takes

26:55 Shocking Wedding Drama Unfolds

27:28 Family Tensions and Broken Promises

31:18 Uninvited Guests and Unexpected Chaos

40:37 Confessions and Final Thoughts

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

  • Lucette’s transition from event planning to creating viral TikTok skits.
  • Why she thinks wedding favors are outdated and unnecessary.
  • Hilarious and jaw-dropping mother-in-law stories, including one with armed security!
  • Differences between Australian and American wedding traditions.
  • Tips for keeping the dance floor packed at weddings.
  • The rise of cocktail-style receptions and their benefits.
  • How family dynamics can shape—and sometimes derail—a wedding day.
  • The importance of staying true to your vision for your wedding.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

  • “There’s always going to be opinions no matter what you do, so you might as well just do what you want because you’re never going to make everyone happy.” – Lucette Brown
  • “I think the hardest thing with weddings is to get everyone to the dance floor. Once you’ve got them, they tend not to leave.” – Lucette Brown
  • “I do think they’re nice to have that intimate moment with just the photographer and the couple.” – Lucette Brown
  • “Weddings bring out true colors—whether that’s friends or family.” – Christa Innis
  • “If you don’t want people to come, then don’t invite them.”  – Christa Innis

About Lucette

Lucette Brown is a marketing professional with over 15 years of experience in the industry, focusing on digital and interactive channels. She has worked with senior staff members to achieve record sales, company growth, and strategic objectives. Lucette has extensive experience in wedding and event planning, which she translates into creative content through her TikTok and Instagram account. 

She also has training from Second City and iO Theater in Chicago, where she developed her storytelling skills. Currently based in Australia, Lucette continues to work in marketing and create content about the wedding and events industry.

Follow Lucette Brown:

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

Love the show? Check out our merch!

Take the drama with you—literally.

From cozy hoodies to quirky mugs, there’s something for everyone in our collection. Your purchase helps keep the laughs coming, and it’s the perfect way to show your support.

🛍️ Shop Here

Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi, Lucette. Thank you so much for joining me today. I’m so happy and excited to talk to you. After seeing your videos, I feel like I know part of your story.
Lucette Brown: Lots of characters, which I kind of like.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I’m riding in the same boat with you. It’s fun to play characters because you can act certain ways, and yeah, it’s like your safe space.
Lucette Brown: Exactly.
Christa Innis: And you are in Australia right now, so what’s the time difference? I don’t even…
Lucette Brown: It’s one o’clock on the 5th of December, so Thursday. Thursday, one o’clock.
Christa Innis: Okay. I’m glad we found a time that worked out for us. Well, I’m so excited to have you. Like I said, I feel like we’re very similar in what we do on social media. So I had to have you on. I know when I posted about doing a podcast, so many people tagged you because they just love your content. That was so cool.

Before we get started, can you share a little bit about yourself and how you got involved in making content and so much more?

Creative Beginnings

Lucette Brown: Yeah, so I got started in the industry a long time ago. I was in the industry for about 13 years, and then I had my daughter, who’s now three. Work-life balance didn’t quite align with it at the time, so I’ve since kind of left the industry.

It was probably seven months ago now that I decided to make a TikTok skit. The idea behind Events and Affairs has been there since 2016 when I lived in Chicago. I went to Second City and iO Theater and came up with the concept, which was like a TV series. I created the characters, and it just sat there waiting to do something with it.

Then I finally got the courage to make a TikTok. I thought, if people like it, they like it. If they don’t, I’ll just make it for myself. And yeah, the rest is history.

Christa Innis: I love that. That’s the best way to do it. Someone was just asking me recently about TikTok, and I said, at some point, you have to make the jump and just be like, “You know what? I’m gonna do it and not care what people think.”

If they watch it and like it, cool—that’s awesome. If they don’t, then it was fun to experiment with, you know?

Lucette Brown: A hundred percent. It was just a fun, creative outlet. Thankfully, it seems people are enjoying it.

Christa Innis: People love the skits. They love those skits.

Lucette Brown: It’s fun. As you would know, there are so many stories in the industry and so many chaotic moments that you experience.

Christa Innis: Exactly, yeah, definitely. So, talking about chaotic moments and hot topics, let’s hear any crazy stories that you have. People love to listen to those crazy stories. What’s probably one of the craziest or most outlandish things that you’ve seen or heard before?

When Chaos Takes Center Stage

Christa Innis: What’s probably one of the craziest or most outlandish things that you’ve seen or heard before?

Lucette Brown: As you would know, there are a lot. But the one that always springs to mind is the mother-in-law who had security at her daughter’s wedding.

She asked for armed security, which in Australia, especially Melbourne, is just not a thing. It was a big no, absolutely not. She wanted security at her wedding, and that raised alarm bells for us. We were like, why is she wanting security for your wedding?

It turns out she was a bit of an attention seeker. There wasn’t any real reason why she would want them. The more we got to know the couple and the family, the more we realized it was what they had been telling us. Her ex-husband was bringing his new girlfriend, and she didn’t like that. So, she wanted security on the day. She also came dressed head-to-toe in a white, very bridal suit and had her own flowers.

Christa Innis: So it starts bad and keeps getting worse.

Lucette Brown: Yeah, and then she left probably an hour into the wedding.

Christa Innis: Wait, and then she left early too? So she just wanted to make this grand appearance, make it all about her, and then leave?

Lucette Brown: Yeah, I’m out.

Christa Innis: So what was the audience waiting for?

Lucette Brown: It was so awkward. She said she needed to be protected from certain family members, which, as we said, was alarming for us. But they assured us it was literally just her wanting to create the day about herself, which she did. It was hard to miss her walking around the venue with two security guards hovering behind her.

Christa Innis: Wait, so these security guards were following her to protect her? Was the bride okay with it?

Lucette Brown: The bride was like, whatever, it is what it is. The husband was not. I think his exact words were, “You do not feed them. They do not get drinks. We did not pay for them to be here.”

As soon as she and the guards left, it was a different wedding. The stress was gone. Everyone was relaxed and enjoying themselves. But while she was there, it was tense.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. These stories are just shocking. I’ve only seen or heard some crazy things in person, but this is insane. And to leave early at your own daughter’s wedding?

Lucette Brown: So many people thought there must be a reason why. After meeting her and the family, it was evident she just wanted the attention, especially coming dressed head-to-toe in a white bridal suit with flowers.

Christa Innis: Wow. And her own flowers? Unreal. Oh my gosh. Okay. 

So I want to jump into some wedding hot takes and I was kind of thinking it’d be interesting to know too, like the, I hear a lot of times, like people comment, like differences between countries and cold, like customs when it comes to weddings. Yeah. So I’m curious, as you lived in the States for a little bit too.

Wedding Differences

Christa Innis: Are there any major differences you see between American weddings and Australian weddings?

Lucette Brown: I think the biggest thing, and especially when people comment, is probably the timings of weddings. I don’t know if it’s necessarily an American thing, but in Australia, our weddings typically have a four o’clock arrival time, 4:30 ceremony, and they typically wrap up around 11 at a licensed venue. A lot of people are kind of shocked by the timings of our weddings.

Another thing—and correct me if I’m wrong—but we’re big on cocktail or feasting-style weddings. We don’t necessarily do the alternate drop anymore. Things change frequently, but that was probably my experience then. Now, cocktail-style weddings are definitely favored at some venues. People are going to attack me for saying that, like, “No, they’re not.”

Christa Innis: Right. It’s funny because even in the comments, I’ll post something like a skit about no kids at a wedding, and people will say, “Oh, that’s so American.” But then I hear from other countries saying, “Oh no, we do it here.” I feel like every country has areas where they do things differently, and families have their own traditions, no matter what country.

In Australia, you’re talking about timing. Our wedding was at 3:30 PM and went until midnight, or maybe 11. A lot of weddings I go to aren’t until five. So it’s kind of all over the place.

Lucette Brown: And then in some countries, they start weddings at 11 AM and don’t wrap up until 3 AM. I could not cope.

Christa Innis: That sounds exhausting. A friend of mine—her husband is from Spain—they’ve gone to a lot of weddings in Spain. She said they party until five o’clock in the morning. Just hearing that sounds exhausting. On my wedding night, we were ready for bed at midnight.

Lucette Brown: It’s a long day. I hightailed out of my wedding. I was standing there, and I was like, “I’m done. Can I go?” I think there was like half an hour left, but we got married overseas, and I just wanted to go back to our room.

Christa Innis: Yeah. You’re like, “Thanks. Had fun. Bye, guys.”

One Wedding Traditions Lucette Secretly Hates

What is one wedding tradition that you secretly hate?

Lucette Brown: Oh, I’m probably going to get a lot of hype for this, but wedding favors.

Christa Innis: Okay, and why is that?

Lucette Brown: My personal take on it—especially when you work so many weddings—is you just see so many left behind. People don’t take them; they’re thrown away. You think about how much thought, effort, and money goes into those gifts.

Plus, now with the price tag that people pay for weddings—the price per person to be there—I don’t think they need a thank-you gift. That’s just my opinion. In Melbourne, at the venues I’ve worked at, the favors are being phased out. It’s very rare to see wedding favors now, purely because of the amount of money that couples are spending. That’s probably my number one.

Christa Innis: No, and I don’t think that’s an unpopular take because I’ve been hearing that more and more. Even at our wedding, we ended up doing decks of cards with a label because I thought, “Oh, people use cards.” But we had so many left over.

It’s one of those things where you spend all this time researching a favor, and it’s like, does it really matter? Do most people notice it? Probably not.

Lucette Brown: Yeah, that’s probably my one. Everyone’s like, “What’s the one thing you can get rid of?” I’m like, “Wedding favors.”

Christa Innis: Done.

Lucette Brown: Take them off the list.

Reinventing the Wedding Experience

Christa Innis: Okay, if you could reinvent one aspect of weddings to make them more fun or meaningful, what would you do? Or what would it be?

Lucette Brown: I suppose getting people on the dance floor. I don’t know how you would reinvent that, but I feel like the best weddings are the ones where everyone’s on the dance floor, dancing, singing, and laughing. Sometimes, it’s hard for certain people to get on the dance floor. Maybe you could remove the stigma around dancing or something, but it really changes the vibe of the wedding.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I totally agree. If you go to a wedding and the dance floor is empty, it’s like, “Is it time to go?” There’s a vibe that’s just off.

Lucette Brown: Yeah, it changes the whole feel of the wedding.

Christa Innis: Some of the best weddings I’ve been to had dancing all night long. The DJ was playing great music, and the dance floor was packed. That’s what you want.

Lucette Brown: For our wedding, we flew a musician I worked with frequently. It was so important for us to have good music and a packed dance floor. I don’t think there was ever a moment when people weren’t dancing. It really made the wedding.

Christa Innis: That’s amazing. Two things I’ve seen at weddings that I thought were awesome: one was at my best friend’s wedding. They only played the most popular parts of songs—just up until an exciting point. When it started to slow down, they switched to another song. People were running out to the dance floor. It kept it packed the entire night because no one wanted to miss a song.

Lucette Brown: That’s funny you say that. The musician we flew in did something similar. He mashed up songs, so he’d be singing one and then seamlessly move into another. You’d be like, “Wait, how are we into this song now?” It kept everyone engaged.

Christa Innis: You don’t even notice you’ve started singing along to the next song. You’re just already part of it. I love that idea. Another thing I saw—and we ended up using it at our wedding—was getting everyone on the dance floor for a group photo. The photographer would say they needed a group shot, and then right after, they’d start playing music so everyone was already there and started dancing. It’s a clever way to get people on the floor.

Lucette Brown: That’s such a smart idea. The hardest part is getting people to the dance floor. Once they’re there, they tend not to leave, but getting them there can be a challenge.

Christa Innis: That’s always the challenge.

Lucette Brown: Yeah, exactly.

Wedding Drama Debates and Hot Takes

Christa Innis: Awesome. I love it. Okay, this next segment is called pick a side wedding drama debates. So I started sharing on social media, having people share with me their unpopular opinions when it comes to weddings and events. So I’m going to read it and then pick a side on the debate. Okay, this person said, “I feel like the vows should always be private before the ceremony.” What’s your take on that?

Lucette Brown: I think it’s a couple dependent. I know some friends who have done that and haven’t had vows at their wedding because they felt it was too personal and just wanted it between them. Then there are people who love having it in front of everyone to share stories and make it a public declaration. I know I’m sitting on the fence, but I do think it’s very couple-specific. There’s no one-size-fits-all in that scenario.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I totally agree with you. I’m all for making it your own. If you’re not comfortable, keep it private—that’s absolutely fine. But it’s funny because I did a skit about a mother-in-law sneaking in to see private vows, and people in the comments were made. They were saying, “If you want private vows, why are you even getting married?” or “Why have a wedding?” People took it so extreme. It’s like, they still have a ceremony and do all the normal stuff; you wouldn’t even realize the vows were private. Oh my gosh, I still see comments like that. It’s like, come on, we’re all different—let’s be okay with that.

Lucette Brown: A hundred percent. That’s always my big thing. Everyone’s going to have an opinion no matter what you do, so you might as well just do what you want. You’re never going to make everyone happy. You’re going to annoy someone.

Christa Innis: Exactly.

Christa Innis: I don’t like the idea of a first look. My husband had to wait to see me until I came down the aisle. What’s your take?

Lucette Brown: I like a first look. I’ve seen them done really well, and the good thing is, you can get all the bridal party photos done before the ceremony, so you’re not taken off to do them afterward. Personally, I didn’t do a first look because it wasn’t for me—I wanted that aisle moment. But I do like the first look because it’s a nice, intimate moment with just the photographer and wedding party. The fun, stressful part is trying to keep the couple hidden while the guests arrive!

Christa Innis: Hide them away. Yeah, I feel like that’s definitely a newer thing that’s becoming more and more common. I didn’t do it either, but a few of my friends have done it for scheduling purposes and all of that. Just making sure they were able to fit photos in, but I always knew I wanted to have that aisle moment. I wanted the aisle moment.

Lucette Brown: However, in that specific moment, when it hit me, I kind of regretted my decision because I was like, “Oh my God, now everyone’s going to be looking at me.”

Christa Innis: You’re like, wait a second. Yeah.

Lucette Brown: I kind of regret it a bit, but I’m happy I had it.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. Okay. Last one. “Having to invite people because they’re family.” Oh, the way she worded it: “Having to invite people because they’re family, but I haven’t spoken to them in five years.”

Lucette Brown: My big thing is that if we hadn’t seen them—obviously there are certain cases where this doesn’t apply—but if I hadn’t spoken or seen you in six months, you won’t come to my wedding. That’s kind of how we did it. Because obviously, if people are interstate or anything like that, it’s a little different. But yeah, my take is you don’t get a seat at my table purely because you’re family, which I know is controversial.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Lucette Brown: That’s my take.

Christa Innis: I feel like that’s one of those things that has changed with generations. I feel like our generation is better at saying, “No, that doesn’t make sense to have Great Aunt So-and-So, who I’ve never spoken to or who has never met my husband,” you know?

Lucette Brown: Yeah, literally. I feel like the previous generation was about inviting everyone to come together, and they invited every person in town. It doesn’t make sense anymore.

Christa Innis: No. Well…

Lucette Brown: And you know, if you were paying $10 a person, then maybe, but people are paying $200-plus now. The venue I just worked at—some of our weddings were $350, $400 per person. So if I’m paying that much for you to come, you need to be important to me. There’s none of this, “Oh, you have a certain title, so therefore you get to come.”

Christa Innis: Exactly. My thing, too, is I’m such an introvert, which I know is going to sound funny to a lot of people. You have to remember, I film at home in a bathroom. It’s just myself, and I’m good at one-on-one. But I wanted people there that I was comfortable with and had a relationship with. If I have a 500-person wedding, I’m going to feel so uncomfortable. I don’t want to have to introduce myself to someone at my wedding or have an awkward conversation.

Lucette Brown: When you’re looking back at wedding photos, you’ve got all these plus ones, all these people where you’re like, “I don’t know who that is.”

Christa Innis: Exactly! Yeah, and if it’s like a new girlfriend or boyfriend of a cousin or something that you’ve never met and then they break up a week later, you’re like, why are they in this family photo?

Lucette Brown: Yeah, literally. Yeah, yeah.

Christa Innis: Okay. So now we’re going to get to this wedding submission story. So I’m going to read this story, and we’ll just react as it comes through. I’ve not read it yet. My husband actually helps me put together the show notes, so he puts them in here. So we’ll react together. Oh, so lovely.

Okay, here we go. “My mother, who I cut out of my life 15 years ago, stole our wedding money.” Oh, that’s a great start. “Refused to let my husband’s great-grandma park close to the venue. She was in a walker, so she’d park on the other side of the street. She screamed at me in the middle of the dance floor, promised to help pay for my flowers, the mix for the booze, and the hotel room but a month before, she said she could not pay for it.”

She spent money on decorations and stuff that I never wanted for the wedding. Okay, I’ve just stopped right there because—you cut this person out 15 years ago, and now she’s back. Why is she coming to your wedding?

Lucette Brown: Yes, that was my fault!

Christa Innis: I would never trust someone who all of a sudden came back. I would never trust them to pay for things. I’d be like, I don’t want your money. I don’t want you to pay for it.

Lucette Brown: Nope. Don’t want your money, don’t want your opinion, don’t want your advice.

Christa Innis: Yeah, that would be like a last-minute invite if, like, I was feeling friendly, I think.

Lucette Brown: I was feeling the love.

Christa Innis: Exactly. Okay, let’s see what she said next. “Husband and I just wanted a simple ceremony, then a party. She got angry and called me every name in the book. Oh my gosh. When I asked my dad and stepmom for help, she said they should be giving her money instead of me.” Wait, what? Why? I’m shocked by this story. Like, why? I feel like there’s a lot missing, like did she come back, you know, right when they got engaged?

Lucette Brown: Yeah, because this is like, I feel like she’s a background story.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I’m like, I feel like the mom’s coming in full force. Like, okay, cool. I’m back in your life after not being in your life for 15 years. Yeah, this is what I need—give me that money for the wedding or whatever. She also said she would help find people to set up the midnight lunch, lied, and then said she did. But when it came time for help, she yelled at me and said my husband’s family was selfish and they should just do it. By the way, his family cooked and served our whole meal. It was their gift, and they wanted to enjoy the wedding, which they never got to because my mother was selfish.

She then started tearing down the decorations at 9 PM, and people thought the wedding was over and started to leave. Why does this woman have so much free range? Like, after not doing the things she promised, and then she’s coming in and—

Lucette Brown: She needs a wedding redo.

Christa Innis: Yes!

Lucette Brown: She needs to get rid of that one.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like, I think we’re at a point where it’s like, we keep them as a distant relative at this point, maybe.

Lucette Brown: Yeah, yeah. They don’t come to the wedding, let alone have a say in the wedding.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. I feel like so many times brides want to just keep the peace and have everyone get along.

Lucette Brown: It would be hard, yeah, especially with a mom, because I feel like you’d want your mom to be at your wedding. You’d probably think, “No, it’ll be fine. She’ll be different. It’ll be fine.” And then, as history serves, it never usually is.

Christa Innis: I know. It’s like, I always say, if you have a gut feeling about it, it’s probably right. I hate that for this bride, too, because like you said, she was probably just like the little girl being excited, like, “Mom’s coming back. She really wants to be involved,” and then it’s just one thing after another. It’s so easy to read from our perspective and think, “Why?” But for her, it’s her mom, and you want them to be a part of it.

Lucette Brown: That’s the hard thing with weddings, too. So many people have those reactions, but it’s like, you’ve got to understand that you are dealing with families, emotions, usually years and years or generational trauma. There’s so much that goes into it. A lot of the time, it’s just people trying to have the idea of what they want and hope for that. But most of the time, it doesn’t work—like the mother-in-law with her armed security and white dress.

Christa Innis: Yes, like that. Oh my gosh. It never ends—the craziness, it says she got mad at me when she saw me have a shot with the bridal party and she got mad that I asked my dad to walk me down the aisle and said it should have been one of my brothers. 

So this really sounds like, It was maybe a nasty divorce or something.

And, because why would you suggest, if the dad is still in your daughter’s life, why would you suggest a brother over her father? 

So it sounds like some, I don’t know, some, something bad happened and now she’s taking it out on the father or something.

Christa Innis: Okay, this next segment is called Wedding Submission Story: Family Drama Unveiled. I’m going to read this story, and we’ll just react as it comes through. My husband actually helps me put together the show notes, so he puts them in here. So, let’s react together.

“My mother, who I cut out of my life 15 years ago, stole our wedding money.” Oh, that’s a great start. “She refused to let my husband’s great-grandma park close to the venue. She was in a walker, so she had to park on the other side of the street. She screamed at me in the middle of the dance floor, promised to help pay for my flowers, the mix for the booze, and our hotel room, but a month before, she said she could not pay for it. She spent money on decorations and stuff I never wanted for the wedding.”

Okay, let’s stop right there. You cut this person out 15 years ago, and now she’s back. Why is she coming to your wedding?

Lucette Brown: Yes, that was my fault! 

Christa Innis: I would never trust someone who all of a sudden came back. I would never trust them to pay for things. I’d be like, I don’t want your money. I don’t want you to pay for it.

Lucette Brown: Nope. Don’t want your money, don’t want your opinion, don’t want your advice.

Christa Innis: Exactly. That would be a last-minute invite if I was feeling friendly, maybe.

Lucette Brown: If I was feeling the love.

Christa Innis: Exactly. Okay, let’s keep going. “My husband and I just wanted a simple ceremony, then a party. She got angry and called me every name in the book. She asked my dad and stepmom for help, saying they should give her money instead of me. She said she’d help find people to set up the midnight lunch, but she lied. When it came time for help, she yelled at me and said my husband’s family was selfish and they should just do it. By the way, his family cooked and served our whole meal—it was their gift—and they wanted to enjoy the wedding, which they never got to because my mother was selfish.”

She then started tearing down the decorations at 9 PM, and people thought the wedding was over and started leaving.

Lucette Brown: She needs a wedding redo.

Christa Innis: Yes! She needs to get rid of that one.

Lucette Brown: Yeah, keep them as a distant relative at this point.

Christa Innis: Definitely. I feel like so many brides just want to keep the peace and have everyone get along.

Lucette Brown: It would be hard, especially with a mom. You’d probably think, No, it’ll be fine. She’ll be different, and then, as history shows, it never usually is.

Christa Innis: Right? It’s like if you have a gut feeling about it, you’re probably right. I hate that for this bride. She was probably just excited, like, Mom’s coming back! She really wants to be involved. And then it’s just one thing after another.

Lucette Brown: And that’s the hard thing with weddings. There’s so much generational trauma and family baggage. People just want their ideal wedding day, but a lot of the time, it doesn’t work—like the mother-in-law with her armed security and white dress!

Christa Innis: Yes, that never ends. The craziness! Okay, this last part gets even wilder. “My ex-father-in-law caught my ex-brother-in-law and ex-sister-in-law having sex in the bathroom. I had to tell them to get out because they were caught.”

Lucette Brown: Wait… not siblings?

Christa Innis: No! I read it as her husband’s brother and his wife.

Lucette Brown: Oh, okay. You’re like, “What’s happened with this family?” I’m like, “Oh god!”

Christa Innis: You’re like, “Wait, what is happening? It was already bad, but—”

Lucette Brown: Okay.

Christa Innis: I’m glad we clarified. That’s how I read it. I’m just hoping that’s what it was.

Lucette Brown: Yes, let’s, let’s go with that. Let’s go with that one because it’s—

Christa Innis: It’s better. Yeah, that’s way better. Still bad, but way better. Um, yeah, she said there was so much more, but I’ll leave it with all of this to start. That is enough for a full-on novel. I can’t believe there’s more. Geez.

Lucette Brown: Yep. I feel like she needs to, she needs to do something like, I don’t know, wedding redo or I don’t know, go overseas, get away from all of that. All of that.

Christa Innis: Cause that drama, that’s like immediate family drama where that’s going to follow you. You know, like if they were to do that on her best day, they’re going to follow her with that. So I’m wondering if it was, it sounds like it was like she’s divorced from this family.

Lucette Brown: Yeah, definitely. That’s what I’m guessing.

Christa Innis: So maybe she realized all this, like—

Lucette Brown: Yeah, well, she—yeah, ex-father-in-law and—

Christa Innis: Yeah, I’m guessing. Well, I’m glad she was able to get away from that family. But the mom stuff, that’s, that’s a whole other thing.

Lucette Brown: Yeah. Hopefully, either they’ve reconciled for a good reason, or they, uh, separated.

Christa Innis: Separated. Yeah. Like, they always say too, like, weddings bring out the true colors of people, whether that’s friends or family. And so unfortunately, you’ll either be closer to some people, or you’ll just distance yourself from some people, which—

Lucette Brown: Is—

Christa Innis: Unfortunate and fortunate.

Lucette Brown: Yeah. Yeah, a hundred percent. And I think the types of people who aren’t comfortable with not having the attention on them—they’re the ones that are gonna create the biggest amount of drama for you because they will naturally just need that attention. I’ve found, you know, with the weddings where I’ve experienced that, it is, yeah, the people who, and you can just kind of tell—they’re not probably necessarily subconsciously doing it, but they just, yeah, they’re the ones that can’t handle not having the attention on them.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I definitely see that as a common theme in the stories that are sent to me.

Lucette Brown: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah, a lot of times they’re harmless, where it’s like they’re just doing little things, but then it kind of starts adding up or it can be like your story, where the mother comes in and has the bridal suit, you know.

Lucette Brown: And that was like—and the security! That was the last kind of thing that she did. Like, all throughout, there were little bits that she would do, and she would call us up and all that kind of stuff. Like, there were just all these little moments. And then, yeah, that last day—it was just, yeah, it was interesting. It was like, the couple was so lovely, and I just felt so bad that this will forever kind of also be part of their wedding. Yeah and something that people will remember because, like I said, you couldn’t not. She made it very well known that she had her security.

Christa Innis: Right.

Lucette Brown: So, yeah. I remember trying to, like, sneakily take a photo to send to my sister because I was just like, “You will not believe what is happening right now.”

Christa Innis: It’s insane. You’re like, “You’ll only believe it if I have a picture because it’s so insane.”

Lucette Brown: And I think because of how she looked, like she looked like a bride. Like, if you didn’t know who the bride was, you would walk into this wedding and think she was the bride.

Christa Innis: And she knew exactly what she was doing.

Lucette Brown: Oh, she—

Christa Innis: Hundred percent. That makes my blood boil because it’s like, you can’t let your daughter have this one day. Just make it about her, please.

Lucette Brown: Yeah, I think that’s like, you hear sisters and cousins and that, but like when you hear mother-in-law or the mother or like the father, it’s just like, Oh, come on. Like just let them have their day.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like, you are the parent. Like, let’s be a little—literally—you are the parent. Oh my gosh.

Christa Innis: Okay, so I know we’re getting towards the end of time. I want to end this with—it’s called a weekly confessions game—where I’m going to read people’s confessions that they send me on Instagram, and I’m going to ask you to rate it from one. One means mild tea, and ten is absolute chaos.

Lucette Brown: Two? I don’t know. I’m like, wow, that’s your decision. That’s your life. So good for you, I suppose, if that’s how you want to do it.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. I say go for it.

Lucette Brown: Yeah. Right.

Christa Innis: Okay. I feel like that’s… I mean, to secretly do it—I mean, I’d be wanting to tell people, but I think that’s awesome.

Christa Innis: Okay, my mother-in-law forgot the rings on purpose on our wedding day in hopes her son would change his mind.

Lucette Brown: She needs to get a new mother-in-law. Um, I’d say that’s… See, it’s so hard to, because like, kind of knowing what I know with what has happened at weddings, it’s just like, I know of much worse things that have happened, but like on a normal scale, that’s pretty high. That would be like, like a seven or eight.

Christa Innis: You’re just so used to it, you’re like, it doesn’t even phase you anymore. Perfect.

Lucette Brown: I’m like, yeah, that sounds right.

Christa Innis: That checks all the boxes.

Lucette Brown: Yeah.

Christa Innis: My thought is, when I first see this, I’m like, I wonder if all along, the mother-in-law was pretending to be a fan of hers. Cause I’m like, if you knew the mother-in-law didn’t like you or was acting some way, I would never in a million years trust the mother-in-law to have the rings. You know what I’m saying?

Lucette Brown: Yeah, unless she actually stole them.

Christa Innis: Yeah, oh yeah, like got them from someone, like took them from the best man, who’s like, “I’ll just hold on to these.”

Lucette Brown: Then that does bump it up a notch.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I read a story once where the mother-in-law—or the grandma—wanted to hold on to the ring for a photo and then forgot where she put them. So they didn’t have it for the ceremony.

Lucette Brown: Did they find them though?

Christa Innis: I think they ended up finding them later. Like, it fell on the ground somewhere. And it was so traumatic because everyone was ready for pictures, and they were just like, “We can’t find it anywhere.” The grandma—or mother-in-law—was like, “I need it for a photo,” and they didn’t find it until after the ceremony.

Lucette Brown: I was going to say, never give anyone the rings, but looking back, we gave our photographer the rings to get photos with them beforehand. And I’m like, oh God, it could so easily happen.

Christa Innis: I know. You’d hope a photographer would be really careful or do it often enough that they’d know, “This is like gold. I can’t lose this—literally gold.”

Christa Innis: Okay, last one: not sending out save-the-dates because “I don’t want people to save the date.”

Lucette Brown: My question would be, why are they invited?

Christa Innis: I know. If everyone could see my face, I’m just like, what?

Lucette Brown: Why? If you don’t want them to save the date, then don’t invite them.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I’m wondering if it’s one of those situations where her parents are pushing her to have a big wedding and she doesn’t want a wedding. Or maybe she’s not excited to get married?

Lucette Brown: Yeah. Because if you don’t want people to save the date, then don’t do it. Like, don’t have the wedding. It’s so odd. If you don’t want people to have that, then they shouldn’t be coming to the wedding.

Christa Innis: That would be my first clue that you don’t want to get married or you don’t want the wedding you’re having. If you don’t want people to come, then, like you said, don’t invite them. Just do a small wedding. No one has to have a big wedding.

Lucette Brown: No, literally. You can literally do whatever you want.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. It’s crazy, the number of people—and I’m sure you have stories too—but it’s crazy how many people get bribed in some way by their parents. Like, “If you don’t do this…” I’ve heard of parents saying, “If you don’t get married in this church, we’re not going to pay for it,” or “If you don’t invite so-and-so, we’re not going to do this.”

Lucette Brown: A hundred percent. We even had it, to some degree, with our wedding because we had a destination wedding. People expected certain things because we had a destination wedding.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Lucette Brown: My response was, “Well, you don’t have to come. You’re more than welcome not to buy the ticket and fly over. If you choose to, then you’re here for us. Have a great holiday. Have a fun day.”

Christa Innis: Right.

Lucette Brown: We did a cocktail-style wedding, and that was a bit of an issue. People were like, “If you’re flying people over, they need to have a seated meal.” And I was like, “They’ll probably end up with more food the way we’re doing it.” I flew out to the company I used to work for to cater my wedding. They’re going to end up with more food this way. But there’s always going to be opinions, no matter what you do.

Christa Innis: Oh yeah. I never get why people have opinions or get mad about how someone else chooses to do their wedding. I’ve seen comments about destination weddings saying, “Oh, it’s ridiculous, it’s so expensive.” You don’t have to go. Just say no.

Lucette Brown: Exactly.

Christa Innis: This is how the couple wants to do their wedding.

Lucette Brown: Yeah. People are like, “Well, you should have a wedding here.” And I’m like, “No, that’s what you want to do. So you should do that. We wanted to go overseas, so that’s what we did. Figure it out. Come, don’t come, have fun.”

Christa Innis: Yeah, exactly. Well, this was awesome. Thank you so much for coming on. I loved hearing your hot takes, and you have so many great stories. Can you tell everybody where they can follow your stories and hear more of your craziness and your awesome skits?

Lucette Brown: Yes, so, the handle is just Events and Affairs. I think if you search Lucette, I sometimes come up, but I think there are also some other creators with my name. But yeah, Events and Affairs is how you’ll find me, even though my tagline is weddings and events. So it’s confusing.

Christa Innis: No, it totally works because it makes sense. I think it still will come up with the name, and, uh, yeah, you do amazing skits.

Lucette Brown: Thank you.

Christa Innis: Oh, you cut out for a second there. Okay, you’re back. Um, yeah, you do great skits.

Lucette Brown: We’re back.

Christa Innis: I’m going to blame it on the time difference or something. But, uh, yeah, no, you do amazing skits. Everyone, go check out Lucette. Thank you so much for coming on. It was so great meeting you officially and hearing all your hot takes.

Lucette Brown: No, thank you so much for having me too. And like I said, likewise, your skits and stories are amazing. I’ve become a fan of Sloan and kind of got into that drama. So yeah, it’s really cool to meet and connect with people who do similar things. It’s been a lot of fun.

Christa Innis: Love it.


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