Hijacked Wedding: Our Best Man’s Proposal Stole the Spotlight
Imagine standing at your wedding, basking in love—only for your best man to steal the spotlight with his proposal!
That’s exactly what happened to today’s anonymous guest. In this jaw-dropping episode, Christa dives into the shocking moment that turned a dream wedding into an unexpected showdown. From the best man’s ill-timed question to the groom’s furious reaction, this story is one for the books. How do you move on when your special day is overshadowed? And what happened after the proposal?
Tune in for all the unbelievable details, wedding chaos, and lessons learned!
Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month!
Episode Chapter Markers
00:00 Introduction
02:54 Setting the Scene: The Wedding Day Highlights
04:09 The Best Man’s Speech Takes a Wild Turn
05:34 The Proposal That Left Everyone Speechless
06:24 The Groom’s Explosive Reaction
07:59 Champagne and Chaos: The Aftermath
10:14 Wedding Guests React: Shock, Support, and Drama
11:44 How the Bride Feels About It Now
21:00 Reddit Story: Proposing at a Wedding
29:24 Exciting News and Future Plans
Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments
- The Wedding Day Bliss – A look into the beautiful, intimate wedding before the drama unfolded.
- When the Best Man Stole the Show – What started as a heartfelt speech turned into something unbelievable.
- The Groom’s Furious Reaction – He didn’t hesitate—his reaction left guests shook.
- The Bridesmaid’s Awkward Dilemma – What do you do when you’re proposed to at someone else’s wedding?
- How It All Ended – The aftermath, the emotions, and where they all stand now.
Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode
- “Your wedding day is supposed to be about you. How did it feel when it wasn’t?” – Christa Innis
- “I just have to ask—how did your bridesmaid react? Because wow.” – Christa Innis
- “I looked at my husband and thought—what the heck is going on?” – Anonymous Guest
- “We paid for this wedding ourselves, and then… this happened.” – Anonymous Guest
- “My groom wasn’t having it. He grabbed the guy by his collar and dragged him out!” – Anonymous Guest
- “My maid of honor handed me a bottle of champagne. She knew exactly what I needed.” – Anonymous Guest
- “Even now, I still can’t believe he thought this was okay.” – Anonymous Guest
Join the Drama with Christa Innis:
Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!
Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.
Submit your story today: Story Submission Form
Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!
A Team Dklutr Production
Blog Transcript:
Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Christa Innis: Hi there, thanks for joining me today.
Anonymous Guest: Thank you for having me, I appreciate it.
Christa Innis: Yeah, so, um, I want to start off by reading the confession that you sent me over on Instagram. And it says, my husband’s best man proposed to his girlfriend during his best man speech. And this, like, had my jaw dropped when I read it. This was when I was just like, oh my gosh, the T is crazy today. Um, I couldn’t believe that it actually happened to someone because we hear about these stories happening. And that’s when I posted a story asking everyone to send me their opinions. And so I asked if you would want to come on and share some more details to what happened.
And we’re going to keep you anonymous. We’re going to keep the people involved anonymous. But we want to hear a real life story firsthand because people people are like, wait, This actually happened. We’re going to get into people’s responses, but first things first. How are you doing after everything is said and done? I know it’s been, been a little while, um, but how are you doing?
Anonymous Guest: I’m doing as well as can be expected. Um, our wedding anniversary is coming up very soon in April, so we’re looking forward to one year of marriage, so yay to us. Um, when this happened, we were, well, stunned as can be. Um, how do I go into words about this one?
Christa Innis: Yeah, you know what, let’s, let’s not to cut you off, let’s go to the actual day. Tell everyone what kind of happened starting off. Um, You can talk about the highs of your wedding day first if you want, and if you want to get to that point, um, and then we’ll, yeah, just kind of go from there.
Anonymous Guest: My apologies, I’m sorry.
The Unbelievable Wedding Speech Proposal
No, you’re good. My best man was giving his speech. It was a great speech to begin with. Talking about us as a couple, then going on about, like, how it’s going to be even more special. He mentioned that he wanted to make this day extra special. So, he got to my bed. One of my bridesmaids, who was also his girlfriend at the time, he got down on one knee and he proposed.
And I looked at my husband and was like, forgive me, forgive me for saying this, but what the heck is going on? And he didn’t know what was going on. And of course, the bridesmaid, my best friend, well, one of my best friends, I should say, because everyone was like What was going on? Can we pause for a second?
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
Um, he was making his best man speech. He was so very romantic to talk about our relationship, everything. He kept going around the bridesmaid and one of My best girlfriend was one of the bridesmaids and he went toward her and he got down on one knee and he proposed to her in front of all of my friends and family.
And we had a very small wedding because we paid for it ourselves. We had maybe 50, 60 guests because that’s all we could afford. And me and my new husband were utterly shocked. My husband got up, he took off his coat. He grabbed the groomsman by the neck of the collar, back of his neck, of his collar, and dragged him outside.
The best man who still had the mic in his hand yells like, wait, I didn’t get an answer. And gosh, you could hear the best man. From the outside. It’s like, hey, wait a minute. And one of the guests grabbed the mic before you could actually hear what was going on outside. He’s like, wait, wait, wait. You could hear a little bit.
It’s like, what is going on out there? You could hear some ruffling and scuffling. I still don’t know what fully went on out there. And my maid of honor, God bless her. She brought me a whole bottle of champagne. And I love her for that. I just like, do you just want a glass of it? Nope. Give me the bottle. Give me the bottle.
Christa Innis: Wait. So, okay. So when he first got down on his knee, so I’m assuming, did you guys have like one of those head tables where everyone’s up front? Like sitting like bridesmaids and groomsmen. So did he get in front of that bridesmaid and get on his knee? And did it click for you right away?
Like that’s what’s happening? Or you’re like, what is he doing?
Anonymous Guest: Yes, and I only had one maid of honor and one bridesmaid, so I only had two people in my wedding party. So my maid of honor and a bridesmaid, so it was kind of even more awkward. So I had two party because that’s all we could afford.
Christa Innis: Yeah,
Messy Return to the Reception
Anonymous Guest: so so just a small party because I it’s just me my husband and my daughter and my daughter is Three and a half years old.
She is my light and This well now ex best friend Well ex friend I should say I keep calling her my best friend Because she felt like a best friend to me at that. That’s where I put her in my wedding party I wouldn’t want someone I knew that well in my wedding party And just like, why on that day, they came back in the park into the party.
He, his hair was messed up. His shirt was unbuttoned. Um, pants were Little ripped and this was a rental suit. What?
Christa Innis: Wait, so after your husband brought him out of the room into the hall was the bridesmaid just sitting there Or was she did she go out there too?
Anonymous Guest: Um, she was just sitting there. She had the ring on her finger So he put the ring on her
Christa Innis: finger before he got pulled out
Anonymous Guest: Uh huh.
Christa Innis: But she didn’t say yes at that point yet? No. No. Was she like, was she
Anonymous Guest: like waiting for something to happen? I, I still don’t know. I think she was going to say yes, even though they’ve only been dating for like three and a half months. Wait, really?
Christa Innis: Only three and a half months? And he thought the best time to do it was at his best friend’s wedding?
Pretty much. Yeah. So, and the other thing is too, it’s like, it’s your friends and family. It’s an intimate small wedding. It’s not a huge wedding where he’s already family. So his family and friends are there. They’re now expecting your family and friends to celebrate them.
Anonymous Guest: Exactly. Exactly. So I’m just like, what’s going on?
And I’m like, My best, my maid of honor is trying to calm me down. Like he came back to his seat. I asked him what is going on. It’s like, don’t worry. I took care of it. I’m like, what do you mean? You took care of it. It’s like don’t worry about it and I couldn’t figure it out like what do you mean you took care of it?
It’s like don’t worry about it for the rest of the night and I kept trying to figure out what he meant Until later on in the night and I noticed um his shoes he broke He broke his shoes, um, his rental shoes. He didn’t have the soles of his shoes on, he broke his shoes. And I noticed the back of his head, um, you know how the button ears have on the shirts?
The button ears on the shirt? Um, he broke part of his shirt on the button ear shirt. And on the back of his jacket, um, he broke the jacket. He ripped the jacket in half. So that’s why you didn’t have the jacket. So the groomsman had to pay for the jacket. Like, he tore his whole wedding suit apart. The groomsman ripped his jacket?
No, the, the, my husband ripped the jacket. He tore his entire wedding suit apart. When he pulled him outside? Yeah, he beat him up pretty much. Oh my gosh. I know he’s had his best charges, truthfully. So. Whoa.
Christa Innis: If he’s crazy. So then he comes back in with your husband and they act like, he acts like nothing happens.
He still goes up to his now fiance. She says yes, jumps up and down, right? Of course.
“This Is My Engagement Party Now!”
Anonymous Guest: My maid of honor told her to sit, to sit down. Like, this isn’t your day not to celebrate. Yeah. It’s like, do not make this day about you. It’s like, but this is my engagement par engagement party now. She thought we should make this day about her as well.
She said this is my engagement party now? Yes. What?! Yeah, it’s like, we should make this day about me as well.
Christa Innis: That is bonkers! Oh my gosh.
Anonymous Guest: Wow. I made a Yeah.
Christa Innis: That’s the thing, like, so I forgot to mention to everyone is that this, I made it into a skit, and so many people were like, oh, it’s not that bad, blah blah blah blah blah.
No, this is bad. This is really bad because not only did they not ask for permission, they, it was a small intimate wedding. They took that from you. You paid for it all yourselves. You invited people that you were like, these are close friends. We, people we love and we trust. And then on top of that, then they want to turn it into their own engagement party, completely negating any feelings you had about the whole situation.
Anonymous Guest: Correct. It was. And I was in tears. My maid of honor took me to the bathroom to, uh, dry my tears. Because we had like maybe 50, 60 guests. I rented my wedding dress because I couldn’t afford a wedding dress. And I know that’s stupid to say, but I wanted something, something I could have. So I bought like a little, I borrowed a wedding dress for the ceremony and bought a little party dress.
Mm hmm. For the reception, just a cute little something I got from the store. So, silly, my friend’s like, you should just spend money, but it’s like, you’re a single family. You don’t need the luxury things. Mm hmm. So, why not? So, I spent like maybe 200 on my dress, and my friend made the cupcakes for free. Mm hmm.
So. So. So. dried my tears. We came back. I came back out and she was gonna do her maid of honor speech. They were out there with our photographer doing photos. around, showing off the engagement ring, all this wonderful stuff, like, we’re engaged. They’re in front of the
Christa Innis: photographers getting photos taken?
Yeah. Okay, so I need to know, I know I’m kind of jumping the gun, but did they try to get those photos from you?
Anonymous Guest: My photographer wouldn’t release them.
Christa Innis: Wouldn’t?
Anonymous Guest: They wouldn’t. Oh, good, good. I mean, sure, that’s the one thing, because my photographer was also one of my friends, so she did my photography for like 150 for me.
Amazing. And she’s also my daughter’s grand godmother, so that helps the situation. Yes. Yay! For deals. You find the deals where you can get them. Absolutely. Take advantage of it, what you can find. And I was like, don’t do this today. So we all sat down, back to saying my maid of honor did her little speech and made fun of the situation, like made little jokes about him on the side that only he would get.
And it kind of irritated him. Irritated him a little bit. Like, you shouldn’t be saying these things about me. And just like, made little jokes. And then she knew my daughter was here. Well, was here. Was there. So, she grabbed my daughter from her little seat. Cause we made like a little kiddie table on the side.
For her to be part of the wedding party.
Christa Innis: So like
Anonymous Guest: a little kiddie table with like a princess, princess crown, everything like that. So she, and she came out, they did a little dance, they worked on together and it was just such a cute addition to the party. I love that. Like, and that just really made my day.
You
Christa Innis: need a maid of honor like that. That’s going to be like, hold on, let me take care of this. Exactly.
Anonymous Guest: And people, like, what’s with the, what’s with the little dance? The dance was perfect. What’s made it even better, like, she was dancing with my daughter. Daughter. I can’t talk today. I’m so sorry.
You’re okay. You’re good. She was dancing with my daughter and she had a glass of champagne and my bridesmaid’s little dresses they were just cheap little dresses they were like a purplish color and she went over to my other bridesmaid and she accidentally slipped and it fell on the dress it’s like oops and it was a little champagne it’s like oops sorry this slipped it’s like you ruined my dress it wasn’t on accident
Christa Innis: Yeah, I’m surprised, um, your bridesmaid stayed after that so she was like proudly walking around with that new ring and Acting like this was not her engagement party She had no shame about how it all went down Thought it was totally fine the way he did that after only dating for three and a half months.
I can’t even get over that To take that moment from you guys. Did you have any idea of? Like he was going to do this or anything I got feeling no, so you’re completely blindsided
Anonymous Guest: No, oh my
Christa Innis: god,
Anonymous Guest: the champagne. We just got for our little table. Everything else was just like Beer and little stuff you can get from the store.
That’s the one thing I splurged a little bit because I just wanted to think for me to celebrate.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Anonymous Guest: So, so
Family Reactions to the Proposal
Christa Innis: where does everything like, okay, let’s talk about really quickly. How did your family and other guests that were there react? Did anyone say anything to you or did they make faces? Did they try to like move past it?
Like what went on with that?
Anonymous Guest: Well, on both sides of our family, um, both of our parents are gone. Okay, so my uncle, uncle’s aunt, they were really upset to say that. Yeah. Cousin, she wanted to teach him a new one. Let’s put it that way. And she does CrossFit on the side, so she could deadlift him in a second and throw him over something, a bridge.
She’s like, I know people. I can put a hit on here if you want me to. It’s like, please don’t do that. It’s like, I love you, but please don’t do that. It’s like, but this is your day. Please don’t put a hit on somebody. It’s like, but it’d be fun. It’s like, we’re not going to put a hit on somebody. Oh gosh, I love you, but please don’t, but it’s just like, it’s just, it’s thought that they cared about me and they stayed for the entire reception.
They left. It’s like, and at the end of the night, he’s like, can we get a ride with you guys? I’m like, no. It’s like, please know we’re going home with our family and going to enjoy a family night together.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
The Aftermath: No Apology, No Awareness
Anonymous Guest: It’s like, go do your own thing, please. Okay. And the next. Oh, I’m sorry. Go ahead. Um, next morning they said, you guys do want to go get brunch?
They wanted to go get brunch.
Christa Innis: So they had no idea still that they did something wrong. They were just living in their own la la land. Pretty
Anonymous Guest: much,
Christa Innis: yeah.
Anonymous Guest: What?
Christa Innis: After how
Anonymous Guest: you guys reacted? Yeah, they wanted to go get brunch. They want to go still go mini golfing, do everything that we have planned for next day.
Christa Innis: Without, did they apologize once?
Anonymous Guest: No.
Christa Innis: Not even for the timing? The timing wasn’t right.
Anonymous Guest: No, I’m still getting messages from her on other platforms, like, still, like, what’s going on, everything like that. Oh
Christa Innis: my gosh. So, how does your relationship stand with them today? I know you said ex friend. Does your husband talk to his friend?
Cause that’s really hard. I mean, that was his best man. That’s your bridesmaid. She’s asking you, like, what’s going on? Has there been any communication?
Anonymous Guest: On my side with her, no. He’s trying to open that wound back up. Cause this was his friend since 6th grade. Okay, your husband’s
Christa Innis: trying to open it back up?
Anonymous Guest: Okay. So he’s trying. I’m like, if you do, keep me out of it. Okay. Keep my child out of it.
Christa Innis: Cause what happens when they invite you guys to the wedding?
Anonymous Guest: They’re actually already married.
Christa Innis: Oh! They already got married.
Anonymous Guest: They got married on New Year’s Eve and they are expecting.
Christa Innis: Okay. Okay. So were you at the wedding or did they do a private?
Anonymous Guest: You were like, I’m not going close. So,
Christa Innis: okay. Okay. So no invite. They probably didn’t want to invite anybody because they were gonna afraid that karma was gonna get
Anonymous Guest: them in the back.
Audience Reactions: Outrage and Shock
Christa Innis: Oh My god Okay, so like I said earlier, I think I said this before I started recording but when this story when he first sent me this story I Opened it up to the audience to my followers to kind of said like their reactions So I want to read a few of these reactions and this was probably the most Responded to thing that I ever ever got I put a little question box people could submit things I would say I probably had like Over a hundred, 200 responses from people.
So these are their responses. I said, what would you do in this situation? Someone said, I would want my husband to address the best man, not make me be the bad guy. Someone said shocked and angry, not well. My anger issues could not. I would not be happy. I’m not a big spotlight person, but let the bride and groom have their day.
This person, who seems like an odd, odd response here, says overjoyed. I believe in sharing love as long as the girlfriend wanted a public proposal. I am so, no, don’t do that. If you want a public proposal, find a different spot. Um, This person says I’d wait until the initial hullabaloo was over, hullabaloo was over, and then ask them to leave.
Um, did you think about asking them to leave?
Anonymous Guest: Oh, I should, I should have asked them to leave, but I only had, um, What, if I had more of a wedding party? I probably would’ve, but, mate, I probably should’ve looked back. I probably should’ve had them leave. Just have my maid of honor and best man. Well, I didn’t have my best man.
Was, I just have the groomsman.
Christa Innis: Yeah,
Anonymous Guest: my groomsman was like, I want no part of this.
Christa Innis: I know it’s almost like like hearing story I’m like, okay like we can we can say he’s like super naive and did that but to then be a Trailing around using your photographer acting like it’s their engagement party Like that’s someone that literally wants to steal the spotlight from someone else.
They have like crept up jealousy or Anger or something where they want to make you feel bad. So I read that as just completely disrespectful. Um, okay. I’m going to read a couple more. It says my face wouldn’t say anything at the moment, but my, but later I would sure be asking them to leave. I would turn off the mic, ask them to leave.
I’d probably be too shocked to react. This person says a swift, a swift punch to the throat. It wasn’t, it would be an option. Um. It said, if they ran it by us first, maybe, but other than that, why, or other than that, that’s a big hell no. So I would say most people agree that that’s completely disrespectful and wrong.
There’s random people in there that are like, I wouldn’t make a big deal of it, but you didn’t make a big deal about it. You had a normal reaction to something that was kind of crazy. And like I said, If he was just kind of naive and maybe like, snuck off to the side and they did it where no one saw them and didn’t make a big deal.
Okay, that’s still not great, but it’s better, but the fact that they did it during a speech where everyone can see at a small intimate wedding and then parade around trying to get like private photos and all that and showing the ring off, it’s just terrible.
Anonymous Guest: Yeah, it’s one for the books. I always pictured my wedding as a peaceful day, relaxing, nothing like this.
Yeah. You know what? Once in a lifetime, it’s something I’ll always remember.
Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s true. How are, how are you today with everything? Like looking back on your memories, are you able to highlight the positive memories, like your amazing maid of honor, the amazing, like, uh, I know you talked about your daughter being involved in the wedding, so those are some really amazing moments to look back on and kind of block out the negativity.
Right.
Anonymous Guest: Oh, my daughter’s my lifesaver. My daughter and my husband are my godspens. That’s all I can say. They are my saving graces and I love them. Hm, my daughter more right now, but hey. I love my daughter more right now, but hey. Everyone has a favorite in the household. Yeah, yeah, I get that. And my maid of honor will always be my best friend for saving me that day.
I love that. And I think when all this happened, I was probably numb from shock. I probably was angry inside. Yep. I’m not gonna lie, I was probably angry. I just didn’t know how to react. Yeah, definitely.
Christa Innis: Well, I think so. Yeah. And I think here too is like, people hear these stories and they’re like, Oh my gosh, like weddings bring out the worst in people. But to kind of do a little spin on this, I think it can bring the best out in other people. So you saw a side of your maid of honor, like, wow, she really loves me, protects me and supports me. My husband immediately got behind my back, stood up against him, you know, like all these amazing people in your life.
Um, and it’s really unfortunate that happened this way, but True colors come out and it’s it’s a it’s sometimes a good thing that it reveals the true colors of people because you’re like You know what? I’m not gonna have someone like that in my life
Anonymous Guest: Exactly. Exactly. And I can’t wait to be my maid of honor’s maid of honor in her wedding in October.
So yeah. So since getting married in October, I can’t wait to do that job and hopefully we won’t have the same reaction.
Christa Innis: Exactly. Yeah. And you’ll know exactly what to do to make sure she stays relaxed and excited on her day and block out all the negativity.
Anonymous Guest: Negativity. Yeah. I just got to get to New York.
That’s the only place I got to get to. Exactly. And my daughter is the flower girl. So perfect. Perfect.
Christa Innis: Amazing. Awesome. Well, thank you so much for coming on. I know it’s like a hard story to like come back to and talk about, but like I said, I hope you’re able to like pull positives out it that you have amazing people that support you and love you.
And, um, thanks for sharing.
Anonymous Guest: Oh, no worries. Hope this helps other people in this situation.
Christa Innis: Yeah, absolutely.
Anonymous Guest: All right. Thank you so much. I do appreciate it.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Thank you.
Bridesmaid Demotions, SIL Drama & Tough Boundaries with my MOH!
What happens when your vision for the perfect wedding collides with reality?
In this episode, I sit down with my best friend and matron of honor, Ivette, for a candid and hilarious conversation about the highs and lows of wedding planning.
From juggling family expectations to incorporating meaningful cultural traditions, Ivette shares how she navigated the chaos of planning her wedding while staying true to her values. We also dive into some of the wildest wedding hot takes submitted by listeners—prepare for strong opinions and unfiltered reactions!
Whether you’re a bride-to-be, a bridesmaid, or just love a good wedding story, this episode is packed with relatable moments, laughs, and real talk about what truly matters on the big day.
Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month!
Episode Chapter Markers
00:00 Introduction
02:40 Wedding Memories and Friendship
06:55 Wedding Planning Stress and Traditions
11:21 Hot Takes and Wedding Drama
28:37 Wedding Planning Chaos Begins
29:13 Bridesmaid Drama Unfolds
31:44 Family Tensions and Wedding Demands
43:58 The Wedding and Aftermath
Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments
- The Reality of Wedding Planning – Ivette opens up about the stress of balancing her dream wedding with family pressures.
- Bringing Culture Into the Celebration – How Ivette honored her heritage through unique wedding traditions.
- Hosting a Full House – The chaos (and comedy) of accommodating 11 guests in a tiny apartment.
- Wedding Hot Takes – Christa and Ivette react to bold listener opinions on cash bars, unplugged ceremonies, and more.
- The Bridesmaid Selection Dilemma – Do brides really choose bridesmaids based on skills and aesthetics?
- Setting Boundaries in Wedding Planning – Ivette’s take on standing firm against outside expectations.
- What Really Matters on the Big Day – The moments that made Ivette’s wedding truly unforgettable.
Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode
- “Weddings are supposed to be about love, but somehow, they always bring out the drama.” – Christa Innis
- “Your wedding is YOURS—no one else’s opinion should dictate your day.” – Christa Innis
- “Bridesmaids should be chosen based on friendship, not just talent or aesthetics.” – Christa Innis
- “A wedding guest list is not a free-for-all. Boundaries exist for a reason!” – Christa Innis
- “At the end of the day, no one remembers the little details—only how they felt celebrating with you.” – Christa Innis
- “I wanted my wedding to reflect who I was, not just what looked good on Instagram.” – Ivette
- “Family is important, but you can’t let their expectations take over your wedding.” – Ivette
- “The stress of planning is real, but the love and support of your people make it worth it.” – Ivette
- “Bridesmaids should stand beside you in life, not just in photos.” – Ivette
About Ivette
Ivette is a mommy, a wife, and a psychotherapist in training. She loves girl talk and giving unsolicited advice. She’s all about conversations that matter because she believes people matter. She was also Christa’s Maid of Honor in her wedding.
Join the Drama with Christa Innis:
Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!
Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.
Submit your story today: Story Submission Form
Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!
A Team Dklutr Production
Blog Transcript:
Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Christa Innis: All right. I’m so excited for the episode today. And I wanted things to be a little less formal because I have one of my very best friends, Ivette here, who just so happened to also be the matron of honor in my wedding. And so I thought it would be more of just like it. A fun hangout session because we’re busy moms and this is how we hang out these days on zoom call.
Ivette: and I knew that we were going to do this and I was like, we need to have a drink because we just need to relax, enjoy ourselves and have fun.
Christa Innis: Seriously, I know. I feel like we actually need to just start scheduling these because it’s just so hard to get together with everyone’s schedules and the kids.
It’s just like, right now, both our kids or all our kids, I should say are in bed because that’s just like perfect time to just. Exactly.
Ivette: Yes.
Christa Innis: What are you drinking today, Ivette? Margarita.
Ivette: It’s my go to. You can never go wrong with tequila. You make a
Christa Innis: good margarita. I know and I’m like, that sounds so good.
I’m drinking some wine. this is not sponsored but a brand sent me this. It’s called Grazi wines, right? And it’s really delicious. It’s a rose. It’s a rose. Yeah. It’s like no sugar added, but it’s a boxed wine. I don’t know. That really sounds like it’s sponsored. I swear to God it’s not sponsored. but anyways, cheers.
Cheers to hanging out. All
Ivette: right, let’s get into it. Virtual hangout reminds me of our COVID hangouts.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. It’s so funny you said that because I was just looking at pictures because I was like, Oh, I want to do a little post that I’m going to have you on the podcast. And I was like, Oh my gosh, 2020 we had like weekly virtual, like game nights.
Yeah. It, like, changed everything.
Ivette: I know. Thank God that you, like, would set that up with not just us, but other people, because I was just going stir crazy.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Same. was mostly Zach. Like, he’d be like, we need to, like, call people. And then once that started, we’d be like, yeah, let’s, like, get this going.
So I feel like we would call you guys. We’d call, like, my cousin in Texas. Like, we had, like, a little group going, and it was so great to connect with people because it was like, you couldn’t go anywhere.
Ivette: I’m like Zach’s sister was on too and like we were all just hanging out. Yeah. Yeah.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Ivette: Good times.
Christa Innis: Yeah, we needed that. Oh my gosh, I’m so glad you said that. Like, bring me back. Someone posted something about 2020 Today and they’re like, isn’t that crazy to think that was half a decade ago? And I was like, no.
Ivette: That’s wild.
Christa Innis: I feel like so much has happened since then, but the same time that feels like yesterday.
Ivette: Yeah, same, but also so many lifetimes ago, you’re right.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I feel like that’s just how life goes now. Alright, before we get too far into it, can you just tell everyone a little bit about you and like, what you do? You’re like, oh my gosh, pressure. yeah. I mean, I feel like there’s like, there’s so much to know, and, but just Okay, so I thought about this,
Ivette: and Okay, I’m going to start it like this.
So for those of you that don’t know me, no, I, I’m joking. for Christa’s wedding, I was like, that was how I started my speech. I said, you know, I asked my husband for all this advice on how to start my speech. And he’s like, whatever you do, don’t start it with for those of you that don’t know me.
And so I did that. but yeah, I mean, I met Christa through my husband, who’s actually her husband’s friend. And he was the Best man in their wedding. And then Zach was the best man in our wedding. but yeah, I’m currently a mom of two. I’m a grad student about to graduate in eight weeks. and yeah, I think I’m a really authentic, real person.
. I like to be vulnerable and get to know people and so I’m not really good with surface level conversations. I like to get deep and get to know people. So
Christa Innis: yeah are that person that like we I feel like that’s when we like started connecting is when we’re like Oh, we love these one on one conversations Like we would just get lost in conversations like it didn’t matter what was going on around us
Ivette: Yeah,
Christa Innis: and we would like it literally went from like us Knowing each other to very like very service level, knowing each other to like in distance.
Like we’d be like, oh, okay. Hi Eva. Hi Christa. And then all of sudden we’re like, bam. Like we’d be texting all the time when we see each other. We’d be like these deep conversations. And then it was just, the rest
Ivette: is, like, I felt like you were my partner in crime for like a good amount of time before the babies came.
Like for sure.
Christa Innis: Yes.
Ivette: And like, yeah.
Christa Innis: I feel like those last few years before. Like COVID, and then like, obviously doing our virtual calls a lot during 2020. Those years, like, really, like, brought us together, I feel like, and now, like, we were just saying, now it’s been, like, years. I mean, because I, probably first met you when Zach and I first got together, which was 11 years ago now, which is crazy.
Or almost, going on
Ivette: 11, going on 12, I don’t know. Yes. I will, I still remember the day that I met you. Like, I will always remember the day that I met you. Which is so weird, because I tell people that. I’m like, isn’t it so crazy? I think I’ve told you this before. Like, it’s crazy to think that you always meet, like, you always remember, like, the important people in your life.
Like, I remember meeting you. I remember meeting Matt. I remember meeting, like, some of my other best friends. And, like, anyone else, it’s like, I don’t really remember. But I, like, Remember like what people are wearing and so yeah,
Christa Innis: yeah, like those vivid moments that stick in your mind Yeah, no, that’s funny.
LikeI don’t know. feel like the same way I was just looking back at like Wedding photos too when I was like picking out stuff and I was like, oh my gosh like even that like for my wedding I feel so long ago And yeah, just all the craziness since then okay, before I get too, like, blabby because Y makes me chat a lot, so I’m gonna slurp.
Ivette: Not going to lie. I may have had like a tiny little shot to keep up.
Christa Innis: Hey girl, this is moms after dark. I mean, I know when this episode comes out, I’ll come out in the morning. But if you guys, if you’re listening and you don’t listen to it till later have a glass of wine with us, have a margarita with us, drink a choice of coffee, you know, what have you just run like let loose and hang out a little bit.
so Let’s get into crazy stories and some wedding hot takes, but I kind of want to switch it up a little bit, like Talking about your own wedding. I know I don’t like saying Oh throw people under the bus. No, I’m not saying that I’m talking about your own wedding. Like what was like the planning experience for you?
like I know you were really stressed during your wedding planning and that was like A lot. You kind of, you talked about having a lot on your plate at that time. So like, what’s something like unforgettable about your own wedding experience that you kind of just like held on to? like good, you were saying?
I brought up the stress, but like, yeah, like what kind of like was your planning like? And then like looking back, you’re like memories that you held onto about it.
Building a Wedding with Purpose
Ivette: So, yeah, I think planning was really stressful because I really wanted to, like, stick to my values and be like, okay, this is what I want, this is what I like, but also, like, more importantly, I wanted to build a foundation for my marriage, and I wanted the people that I feel like helped Change my life for the better or we’re like really important into like my pivotal story of like this is who we’ve at Was this is who I am now I am like proud to be this person this woman entering into marriage And I want those people to like stand beside me not just to come to my wedding but to be like listen I support you through any season in your marriage, right?
That’s super important to me And so I think I was stressed out because so many of those people Don’t live in our state. They live in other countries. They live in the U. S. But maybe they live on the West Coast, right? or even the East Coast. So for me, it was really stressful to get everyone together at the same time and make sure that they were, like, taken care of.
Like I could take care of them the way that they’ve taken care of me, so I think that’s, that was really, like stressful and then of course, you remember, like, we had our apartment in Chicago and I think there was like 11 people staying at our place, like, we had a one bedroom apartment in Chicago and it was like body after body after body, like just anyone sleep anywhere, you know, like during our wedding season, so that was intense.
Um, like the
Christa Innis: epitome of Ivette, like you, I remember specifically, there was like one moment in all the craziness where it was just you and me like in your apartment and you were like Really worried about like pleasing everyone around you and I was like just take a breather It’s your wedding. You should enjoy and you’re like but Christa There’s people from everywhere and we like to have a moment.
I was just taking it like it’s okay But you’re like you were hosting so many people and I like when you say it that way, too. It’s like people are flying from another country or from another side of the country And so you put a lot of pressure on yourself.
It’s very normal.
Ivette: Yeah and then I think the biggest takeaway is like, I am bilingual. I speak Spanish and English and I wanted every single person at my wedding to feel like they were seen and like. understand like, Oh, this is a part of me. Like, so just being very true and then very true to myself.
And then also like, it’s so sweet when you get to have, like, I’m sure you remember your wedding, like every single person that has ever like, meant anything to you. Like that’s like the sweetest thing in the world. And so I think that’s just like the biggest takeaway. I’m like, can we renew our vows just so that all these, you know, our favorite people are together again.
Cause That’s so special. Yeah,
Christa Innis: one of my favorite things about your wedding as like a guest was all the like Cultural and traditional things you kind of like brought in together and just made it your own Like there are certain things that you guys did that I’d never seen at weddings before which I was like, this is so fun This is so cool.
Like, can you explain some of the things that you guys did at your wedding? Like was like the bridge thing, right?
Ivette: oh, oh, yeah, so there’s just like Mexican traditions that we wanted to incorporate into our wedding, and we just, it’s just been passed down through generations, and I really don’t really, I don’t know what they mean, I was just like, oh, I’ve seen this done time after time, and I don’t know what the meaning is, but it’s important to, like, follow those traditions, and, be true to my roots kind of thing, and so, um,
Christa Innis: Oh, I love that.
That was like one thing I couldn’t stop talking about. I was like, it was so beautiful and unique to like you and your story. And I thought that was just like, it was really cool.
Ivette: Yeah, you’re talking about the, it’s called La Vibra de la Mar, which is like, everyone lines up and hold hands and you like, the groom is, Um, and he’s standing either like on a chair or being held by his groomsman and then the bride’s on the other side and then he’s like holding up her veil and everyone’s like running like through the gas, like holding hands, like really, really fast and then the music speeds up.
You keep running faster and faster and people are tripping or losing their shoes or falling over everywhere. And so, yeah, yeah, it’s a really fun tradition that we do. And there’s a couple of dances that we do as well, like country style dances that we do, line dances.
And so, yeah.
Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s
Ivette: awesome.
Christa Innis: I love that. All right, let’s get into some hot takes. So these are opinions, some very strong that people send me on Instagram. We’re just gonna react to them together, and just give me your first reactions. Okay, first one is, all lettings should be unplugged.
Ivette: Oh, okay, this is hard. Okay, I agree. I agree, but being a mom, I’m like, oh, that’s hard. Like, have your phone for, like, emergencies. But I don’t need people, like, taking pictures or recording, because, like, I paid for a photographer and a videographer, and I want you to, like, enjoy the moment. You know, yes.
Christa Innis: yeah, I don’t see unplugged as like, we’re gonna have you turn in your phone and lock it in a box, heard of like very extreme, you know, places doing that. But yeah, like, turn your phone off and make sure like, you know how to turn it on silent. Or like to vibrate because I can’t tell you the number of weddings I’ve been to where there’s signs literally and people announce it and you still see people with their iPad or their phone and I’m like, no, don’t do it.
Ivette: Yeah. That’s so much worse. I do hate that. yeah, I just, be present. I’m all about being present.
Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. And chances are as good as the iPhone photos are, the photographer is still going to be 10 times better. Okay, next one says if you are going to have a cash bar, just don’t even have one.
Ivette: Oh, like the gas bill? No, no, no, no, no. No, like they’re your guests. This is like your event. It’s not like you’re doing like, I don’t know, backyard barbecue. No. Oh, like, I feel like you should, pay for the guests or
Christa Innis: something
Ivette: like
Christa Innis: that. So this person says that if you’re planning on having a cash bar, you might as well just not even have one because I think they’re like agreeing.
You should have a bar like an open bar.
Ivette: Yeah, 100%.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I agree I was just telling a story so sorry to people listening if I just told us on a podcast episode Or if it’s coming out soon, but I was at a wedding once where it was open until like 8 p. m. But they didn’t tell anyone. They switched it.
So I remember Zach and I going up to the bar and he ordered drinks and the lady was like, 10 bucks or 15 bucks. And he’s like, Oh, I thought it was open. And they’re like, Oh, it’s switched to cash at eight. And they didn’t announce it or anything. And yeah. Was I at this wedding with you? Cause I feel like I’ve been to this too.
Like I don’t think so. So when Zach and I first started dating years ago. Oh, okay. Those poor people listening are like, oops. No, they want to be listening.
Ivette: Okay. I feel like I’ve been to a wedding like that too, but I feel like I knew that was going to happen. They’re like, okay, like, open bars, closed.
Now it’s like, you know. Yeah. Poor kind of thing.
Christa Innis: My thing is too, it’s like, There’s different levels for what you can afford, obviously. And so I’ve been to all kinds where there’s like, I’ve never, I don’t think I’ve ever been to a hundred percent cash bar. I think I’ve been to ones that are just wine and beer.
And I think that’s great. if only in your budget, you can fit wine and beer and. Like seltzers or like, some kind of pop drinks or whatever non alcoholic. I think that’s great. I do think there should be some kind of beverage that’s offered. That’s Yeah,
I don’t know what I get and there’s also different levels of how formal someone wants their wedding, I get it sometimes that that’s the vibe But yeah, I’m all for I knew I wanted that was like something in my budget I was like, I want an open bar.
Ivette: Yeah, if you’re like getting married at the Drake In downtown Chicago and you’re like having people pay for their drinks. That’s a problem. But like if you know, you’re more conservative and like, Not as wild with your money, then it makes sense. Like, okay, we’re gonna just have like the basic stuff and that I
Christa Innis: totally agree with but Yeah.
Okay. This last one says some bridesmaids are only chosen for their talents or aesthetic. Is this a saying or drink?
Ivette: Yes. Yeah, I didn’t choose bridesmaids because of this, but I have friends who I feel like may have been chosen for this reason. And it’s like, they have the skills, the equipment, that kind of thing. Mm hmm. Yeah.
Crafty or Convenient? The Truth About Bridesmaid Selection
Christa Innis: I feel like I’d be really careful what I say sometimes.
There have been times I’ve felt in the past where I was chosen because I’m very crafty. I’m a crafty girl. I love my crafts. You give me a project. I will. I won’t. ever do like a C minus job. I will do that A plus job. I will give extra effort. And so there’s been a time or two that I was a bridesmaid that I was like, should I have been a bridesmaid?
I don’t know. And it all was great. It was great. But, I think just sometimes you have to really think about down the line or even at that time, like who you want by your side. Not for what they can offer you, but like your relationship to them. i feel like it’s complicated because everyone looks at it differently.
But I don’t know, it’s, I’ve also heard of people, and this is not anyone I know personally, just through stories that people have sent me, it’s just like, they’ll be asked to be in a wedding, and they’re kind of like, they kind of ask themselves, like, why am I a part of this? Like, you don’t even try to be my friend outside of the wedding planning.
so I’ve seen that happen a lot, where they’re more questioning, like, do you just want someone by your side? Whereas
Ivette: I’ve actually had that happen to me before. Yeah, where, Okay. It was like my partner. It was like clear that they were meant to be in the wedding and this person asked me to be in the wedding and it was like, are you sure?
Like, we were both kind of like, why would she ask? Like, it was just really strange. And, you know, of course I said yes. but yeah, it just didn’t fit well. And then of course our friendship isn’t. Yeah.
Christa Innis: I know that’s interesting how that works with, like, it’s almost like a precursor maybe.
Ivette: It’s like, he has 10 people, I have 8 friends, I need 2 more people.
Christa Innis: I need to add somebody. Yes. Yeah. No, I totally see that. Yeah, that’s interesting how that works when you kind of look back and you’re like, Okay, maybe that’s why. I will say, the majority of the times that I was a bridesmaid, it was like, I kind of had expected it. That being said, like, if you were asked today, or do you feel like, I feel like most of your friends are married or, like, committed, like, do you feel like at this point you would be in any other weddings?
Or if someone were to ask you, do you feel like you’re better at saying no if it wasn’t the right fit?
Ivette: I think, okay, so I have a few friends and family members who are still going to get married and I know for a fact that I would say yes. I would have to find a really good excuse for someone who is like a little bit more than a friend kind of thing because that’s just who I am.
It’s like, I’ve always told people like if you mean something, if we’ve had like a relationship in my life, Life like I will never forget you like I will have your back You can call me like 10 years later if we’ve lost touch, you know that kind of thing So I’m just a sucker that way So I want to say like because I’m a mom and I’m busy now and like work stuff Like I would it would be easier for me to say no at the same time I am a people pleaser a little bit which I’m working on.
Christa Innis: So I had to beg you to say no to me, even like when you were doing stuff for my wedding. I remember you had so much going on, just different things that would come up. And I’d be like, Ivette, it’s okay if you can’t come to the bachelorette party. It’s okay if you can’t do this. Like I was like, you’re like, I’m going to be there.
And I was like. Okay, but like, I know the pressure’s not coming from me. Oh, no. No. But I know, it’s hard, because there are people like that, and you put an expectation on yourself. I’m the exact same way when I’m a part of the wedding. okay. I warned you before we got on, but I have a story for this week, and it’s a little long, so I want to jump right in.
if we haven’t been chatting for like, I don’t even know what time I got on. 20 minutes? I don’t feel free to stop me at any point. This week’s story submission. I only saw the beginning and then we’re just gonna go from there. Okay, it says, phew, this may be petty, but this story needs to be told.
My sister in law, let’s call her Lizzie, was a narcissistic Nightmare of a Bride, and she and my brother don’t speak to my family anymore because of her insane wedding drama. Not exaggerating, they have now not spoken to me in over two years and claim to have cut me out of their lives fully and forever with no explanation.
I’m sure you’ll think I’m the crazy one because of that, but hear me out. Let me first say I will not think you’re the crazy one because I, especially through receiving all these stories. There are three sides to every story, and I’m sure you know this in your line of work, like, you can only, like, hear so much and just absorb, you know, what you’re being told, right?
I mean, I don’t want to read into things, but yeah.
Ivette: I’m also such, like, a devil’s advocate, though, so I’m always like, well, we’ll What about this or what about that? I’m like, you know, yeah, sorry to whoever said this, but yes, I am. I’m here to listen I mean, I
Christa Innis: agree with you though, too. I feel like when I first started sharing stories, people would get like, I shouldn’t say people for the most part, people like the stories, but everyone’s gonna be like, you only talk about mother in laws.
How about you talk about mother of the bride? And I was like, well, yeah, Fun fact mother in law could be of the bride or the groom, but okay, and they were just getting offended and I was like well, I try to say stories about all kinds of people related to the story, but I just, the most, most of the stories I get just happen to be from brides.
so now I try to look at it in a lens of like, okay, what are the other details I’m getting? Because sometimes I read a story, I’m like, oh, that’s not, not the best. Not the best looking, but okay. she says I’m the oldest of three siblings. My sister, Cassie is in the middle. These are all fake names.
my brother, Max is the youngest. My brother, Max, and his now wife, Lizzie started dating in college. They’re young in their mid twenties at this point and started talking about getting married in 2020 and planning their wedding before they got engaged, which I thought was a bit weird, but whatever, no harm, no foul until My sister Cassie fell in love with her now husband, oh, Alex, the same year, 2020.
My sister Cassie and her man Alex are in their mid 30s, so they’re older and ready to start their lives together, buy a house, and start a family. They get engaged in the spring of 2021 and tell our whole family they’re planning to get married in a year, March 2022. Yay! We’re so excited for them. Or so I thought.
The Engagement Jealousy That Started It All
Christa Innis Okay. The next thing I know, I get a call from my younger brother, Max, who is not engaged to Lizzie at this point. They’re still just dating, but he’s upset. He tells me Lizzie has been inconsolable, crying and depressed in bed for three days because my sister got engaged first.
Oh my gosh.
Ivette: Yeah.
This is hard. This is hard. That sucks. Sorry. Like, why would that mean anything to you? Yes. Like this, you should be happy. You should be happy for them. Like, that is a really big red flag if you’re like, Uh, I didn’t get engaged first. Like, what about me? Like, I’ve paid my time. No, like, these people are happy.
They’re older. you don’t know if they want to have kids, right? Like, you don’t know what their plan is. Maybe they’re more financially established. You don’t really know. So I feel like if you’re looking forward to getting married and being a part of someone’s family, you should be happy when they reach their milestones too.
And when, The siblings get engaged. Like, why would you make it about yourself?
Christa Innis: I know. Especially because they’re not even engaged at this point. Like, and even if they were, like, us and we’re engaged at the same time. Like, I don’t get the competitive, like, back and forth. Like, that was a similar story I just shared about a girl, like, demanded to be engaged before her, they were dating brothers.
Demand to be engaged before her. And this was like a true story. Someone sent me and it’s just like, I just don’t get that.
Ivette: my sister in law and her husband now they have been dating forever. You actually went to high school with them. But my husband and I, Matt, we actually got engaged before them and.
She asked me like, is it okay if we get married, whatever date, like, which was before our wedding. And I was like, yeah, of course. Like, I really don’t care. Like, I’m happy for you. Like, what can I do to help you? You know? And it was so fun to be in the process together and be like, Oh, look at your ring, look at my ring.
And. What are you doing with this? And, oh, I might bounce that idea off of you, and, oh, that’s good for you, but I don’t like that style, and it was so fun to be a part of each other’s wedding, so.
Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s what people, I don’t get, because it’s like, then you have a fun, like, unit of, like, your family’s growing, like, now you have a sister, and, like, you know, you have someone you can call up, and, like, it’s the same with, like, When a mother in law gets angry or brother in law, whatever.
It’s like you’re just causing more of a barrier like wouldn’t you want I guess people that think like that don’t think down the line like We’re not gonna get along. I don’t know.
Ivette: Right? Oh, yeah, so I can really play devil’s advocate here
Christa Innis: Yeah, but the girl that Wrote this in is on their side
okay. So, and it was their wedding. Oh, and took their wedding year. She said, yes, the reader took their wedding year. I’m like, hang on, Max. What do you mean? It took your wedding year. You’re not even engaged yet. He says, well, we wanted to get married in 2022. And now Cassie is going to steal our thunder because she’s getting married before us.
I’m like, but you’re not even engaged yet, Max. That’s what I like. I had like two of my really good friends, two of my best friends got married the same year as me. And I was like, that’s so fun. Cause I’m thinking like 10, 20 years down the line, we’re the same anniversary year. Like let’s go on an anniversary trip.
Like, that’s the way I think.
Yeah. And you’re like going through all the seasons together. Like it just makes it so much more fun. Like a big party, I mean, I hear of two people getting mad too about pregnancies and stuff and I’m like, I love that. Like, yeah, that’s a thing. That is a thing.
I got a story where a girl was kicked out of the wedding because she announced her pregnancy and they were like, I don’t want you announcing stuff. Well, I mean, people are insane.
Ivette: Oh my goodness. They
Christa Innis: thought the pregnancy would take away too much attention from the bride. I was like If you really care about those people, you’d be celebrating them.
You’d be like, how can I make the day better for you? Because you’re pregnant at my wedding. I was
Ivette: I was pregnant at your wedding.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I was like, I had two pregnant bridesmaids and I thought it was so fun. And it’s so fun to look back at pictures and be like, Oh, like, I don’t know, just looking back at those memories.
Yeah. And then we get to like go through this chapter together with our kids, like.
Ivette: Mm hmm. Imagine like me being kicked out of the wedding because I was pregnant.
Christa Innis: I’m like, I, like what?
Ivette: Yeah, no. That
Christa Innis: needs to be researched in a deep way. I don’t know a laboratory somewhere where people think that way.
I’ll be part of my next psych research. Yes very niche I know she says I’m like, but you’re not even engaged yet max You haven’t proposed. You can’t expect our sister, who’s older than you, to put her life on hold because you guys called the wedding year 2022. It’s not like calling a shotgun.
He’s super hurt by me saying this, and said it’s important that you understand our hurt over this. I’ll be honest, I did not mince words, and maybe that was a mistake, but I said, I love you, but this is crazy. You’re an adult. Please be happy for a sister and stop making this about you. I think that’s pretty nice.
Yeah,
Ivette: and I’m honestly so shocked that this guy, like, bought into his girlfriend’s whatever she has going on, like, in her mind, this, like, game that she’s playing. Like, for you Just sit there and be like, no, my girlfriend’s right, like who you’ve been dating for, I don’t know, a couple years and you’ve known your sister your whole life.
Christa Innis: It’s like, really? Like, I don’t know. yeah, that’s just like a big red flag for me. Nope. Yeah, you wonder what manipulation is going on behind the scenes. What’s
Ivette: Gaslighting there for sure.
Christa Innis: Yes, like, oh, your family is terrible. Like, I’m no expert. I don’t know this stuff just from like seeing stories.
I’m like, if a person you’re dating is pulling you away from your family instead of like celebrating them, that’s It’s a red flag. that’s kind of like textbook, isn’t that? Yeah. Yeah.
Ivette: That’s not good.
Christa Innis: when you and Lizzie get engaged and married, we will be just as excited for you, she says.
For the next four months, my brother, Max, and his still girlfriend, Lizzie, proceed to have lengthy talks with my parents and us about how hurt they are about my sister’s engagement. Oh my gosh. And wedding planning. They say they do not feel cared for or validated in their pain. Cue gagging noises, she says.
Oh, it’s terrible. It’s just, they’re, I mean, and I hate to be like, oh, like, she said they’re 20s and then the older sister’s 30, so I don’t know, like, if that means, like, 23, 24. But they just, they sound very, like, they need to, like, live a little life. But I mean that someone in their 40s could act like that.
So I don’t really want to play the age game, but it just sounds very odd to just not all of a sudden not be happy for your sister because you’re supposed to get engaged first.
Ivette: Yeah, absolutely. And then still not being engaged and still complaining about it. Like it’s my wedding year, but you’re not even engaged still.
That makes no sense. Absolutely. It’s like,
Christa Innis: Okay, I’m going to read into it before we read a little bit further, but it’s almost like the brother doesn’t actually want to get engaged. The younger brother, right? So instead of like, the pressure being put on him, he’s going to turn it on his family and be like, Oh, can you believe that?
Well, now they’re taking your thunder, so I can’t. Because don’t you think if this happened and he really wanted to get engaged and married first, he would just propose?
Ivette: Yeah, he would have proposed like right away. And then set a wedding date before that. And then like beat them to the, yeah, I was just gonna say that.
And then like beat them to the, wedding date. Like. And said they’re just over here crying about it
Christa Innis: and not doing anything.
Ivette: he’s kind of a coward too.
Christa Innis: I think it’s. Him kind of pushing his feet in the sand or whatever the phrase is.
Ivette: No, it’s not that he’s being a coward. He’s like, I know the red flags and this is just giving me time.
Bridesmaid to ‘Special Guest’ in One Email
Christa Innis: Yes. Let’s direct it toward the anger towards my family and not me. Yes. That’s just the vibe I’m getting. My brother, Max, finally proposes to Lizzie in the fall of 2021, and they start planning their wedding for September 2022, six months after my sister’s wedding will take place.
Okay. For a while, everything is copacetic. I hope I’m pronouncing that right. And then Lizzie starts sending lengthy wedding planning emails that are insane. She starts off with me and my sisters as bridesmaids.
After that, I would not want to be her bridesmaid. Talking about, I don’t know. I guess it’s hard because it’s like you want to just like move forward. And so you’re probably your baby brother. So you’re like, let’s just make things work. But you know, things are going to be. Not great. Mm hmm. but pretty quickly, oh, pretty quickly demotes us to special guests.
Ivette: Oh my gosh, no. That
Christa Innis: might be the kindest thing she’s ever done for me, she says. She wants us to attend a bachelorette weekend, a wedding shower, an engagement party weekend, and the wedding. All separate weekends and all flying out. That’s a lot. That’s terrible.
Ivette: That is. Yes. For her to first be like, yeah, I want you to be a bridesmaid.
Like where, in your timeline of like being a part of this family, do you see that being a good thing? Do you see them saying, yes, I would’ve, that I would’ve been like, no. , no. and then to be demoted, like to demote them? I can’t believe that. I can’t believe that. Like, how do you even have that conversation with them?
You’re
Christa Innis: a special guest now, so you just get like a badge or something. Like, what does that mean? But yet, she still wants them to attend four different things and fly out for all of them.
Ivette: Still come, still pay for everything, still make me the center of attention.
Christa Innis: Yes. Oh my gosh, and she’s probably that kind of bride, like, even if you have like a white speck on your dress, she’s like, change.
Don’t have any white anywhere near you.
Ivette: You can’t have white shoes. No way. You can’t. I don’t even know if you’re like dresses poofier than hers. You’re out. You’re out.
Christa Innis: I was just telling someone how my cousin Jasmine, how when we were out at the bachelorette party, she had a shirt that had like white flowers on it.
And she was like, I won’t wear it. I’m so sorry. And I was like, Jasmine, you can wear that. I literally, you could literally put a white shirt on right now. What? I was there. I know. I didn’t know if you were like, during that conversation, but I was just like, Oh yeah.
Ivette: Yeah. I think we were all like looking at ourselves in the mirror and then she like noticed it.
And then that’s when you guys had like, Oh, that’s,
Christa Innis: yeah. Right
Ivette: before we were leaving.
Christa Innis: I don’t care.
Ivette: you could tell her like her whole outfit could be white and it would be fine.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I was like, I would have been like, yeah, we’re both the brides. I literally don’t care. I’m just happy everyone’s here. And I’m like, and I’m someone too, where it’s like, I, to multiple people, I was like, don’t feel like you have to come to everything or any of it.
Obviously, the wedding’s the most important. So if you can’t make it to a shower or bachelorette, I’m fine. Like, Two or three people couldn’t come to the bachelorette. And I was like, that’s totally fine. Like, people that were in the wedding. And it was like, we moved on. We did our own thing. It was all good.
Like, to put pressure That’s the thing is like, everyone’s different. But like, to put pressure on people. Like, you have to come. Spend all this money. And That’s where people get stressed out. And I’m like, I’m more excited about people just being by my side at the wedding. That was the biggest thing for me.
She says, okay. I’m like, girl, again, I love you, but I don’t have the money to fly out for four separate events. I can come to two of these. Plus, my sister’s getting married too, so I’ve got her bachelorette and wedding, remember? Which kind of would take precedence, would think. Yikes. Shouldn’t have mentioned that.
We immediately start getting lectured. Lizzie tells us, we told everyone that your sister’s wedding would steal our thunder and look, see, we can’t have the wedding we want because of your sister’s wedding. But it’s like, either way, you are asking people to fly out to four events. Like, that is insane.
Ivette: Yeah.
And then for, I just can’t believe that she’s like, see, like, it’s taking away from my wedding. Like, it’s Get over yourself. I’m over this girl. I’m over her. I’m over
Christa Innis: her. It’s so, like, this is why there’s the name Bridezilla, because of this bride, and I hate that because, like, so many times it’s, like, a nice bride that just has a boundary, and it’s like, okay.
No, she’s not a bridezilla, but this is like, no, like everyone bowed down to me. It’s my year. I own the whole year. And it’s like, no, that’s not how it works.
Ivette: No, I’m out. I don’t like her. Yeah.
Christa Innis: And also to like be in the mind of the bride who’s already having issues, you know, with everything. why would you want the sisters to be at your bachelorette party if you don’t like them so much?
Where’s that?
Ivette: Yes. That perspective. Perfect. Like, yeah. It’s like, they’re doing you a favor. Like, by getting married around the same time. It’s like, thank you, yes, perfect.
Christa Innis: Yeah, so you can be with your friends. And I just, I don’t get it. okay, it says, Lizzie and Max continue to rag us about this.
Including the week of my sister’s wedding. With long, ridiculous emails about how they feel abandoned by the family. Because not everyone can attend every single one of their expensive destination events. I wish I was joking and I wish I could copy verbatim the email they sent to my immediate family five days before my sister got married about their hurt feelings.
Also not to mention they’re getting married six months after the other sister. That’s plenty of time to then focus on them, right? Like it’s not like they’re getting married the week after.
Ivette: Literally start sending save the dates right after the wedding. Yeah. Like, yeah, shouldn’t even overlap at all.
Christa Innis: No, that’s plenty of time away from each other.
They’re literally, can you imagine demanding someone to pay attention to you the whole year? Like, this is my year, nothing else can happen.
Ivette: yeah, I don’t, have friends like that, thank God. I don’t think I could be friends with someone like that. No,
Christa Innis: no. It makes me wonder, I mean, how, maybe she only has the sisters.
Because she doesn’t have friends. Yeah, I don’t know. That’s rough. she said they even requested that my sister not speak about her wedding at any of their wedding events. I feel the need to insert here that my sister Cassie is very down to earth, unfussy, lovely and intelligent college professor.
She is not a diva. She never makes things about herself. Or makes herself the center of attention. So the fact that they even felt upstaged by her is truly a masterclass in security. This girl should be a writer. I love this like image. I was going to say that like, she’s so insecure. I think it’s probably too.
It’s like the fact, like the way she just described her older sister, the younger girlfriend or now fiance sounds very. intimidated, almost. Like, oh, they’ve got, like, their stuff together, she’s intelligent, but it’s like Maybe you can just like look up to her. Maybe pick apart a couple like things that you want to like Yes I just I don’t my sister Cassie lovely husband Alex have a beautifulheartfelt budget friendly for Wedding in March of 2022 family and friends attend our Midwest cousins who all have kids are able to attend because the wedding is driving distance for them and my sister thoughtfully planned it over their kids school break my brother Max and Lizzie sleep late miss their first flight so they don’t even make it in time for the rehearsal dinner weird weird how that happened something I now wonder about did they really sleep through their alarms or was it just a stunt to pull the focus Probably.
He,
Ivette: like, wakes
Christa Innis: up, like, changes
Ivette: the alarm, like, on their phone.
Christa Innis: Yes! Oh my gosh. I have no idea. They probably, like, purposely, like, planned a later flight or something.
Ivette: 100%. I think she did it. I don’t think the brother did it. I think she was like, Oh, babe, like, I looked at the flights, they don’t have any more.
It’s just, like, we have to go to the later one.
Hijacking the Honeymoon with Drama
Christa Innis: Mm hmm. It makes you wonder like someone that’s acting like this and like he’s so easily manipulated Or she might make up stories to tell him like, oh, this is what they said to me This is what they did to me and just like victim mode. Oh my gosh. This could be like a whole series After the wedding my sister and alex go to their honeymoon to europe While in Europe on their honeymoon, Lizzie and Max start texting their complaints and grievances about who is not attending their pre wedding events to the family group chat again.
I text them privately and say, hey, it’d be cool if you let our sister enjoy her honeymoon for a minute. If you have issues, please text the rest of us directly, but leave them out of this. Spoiler alert. They don’t block. I’d be blocking. I’d be like, I’m on my honeymoon.
Ivette: Yeah,
Christa Innis: by the way, like
Ivette: Like, maybe through pictures, but like, I’m not, I suck at answering text messages and phone calls.
So my honeymoon, it’s like, Ivette’s dead. She’s gone. You were like, you weren’t even
Christa Innis: thinking about that.
Ivette: No, absolutely not.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I don’t even remember texting anybody on my honeymoon. I feel like we left our phones in the hotel room because we were at a resort. Sorry.
Ivette: I think like, we actually never went on a honeymoon.
We went on a trip. But our trip. that sounds like a bridezilla thing, like, a bridezilla thing, a thing of bridezilla. I don’t
Christa Innis: even know, I don’t know, shut up.
Ivette: I think I only use it for pictures, I don’t even know if I had service. So it’s like, I don’t know.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I would be blocking if someone just kept bugging me I’d be like I need to be in this oasis away from all that And good on this I don’t know whatever the OPS whoever like sent in this story like good on you You’re being a great like Boundary holder for your family.
That’s a lot of responsibility, but I’m proud of you for like stepping in Lizzie makes the next six months hell for my email inbox. She sends detailed look books and dress code guidelines for her engagement party weekend, micromanaging everyone’s travel plans, setting detailed schedules down to the minute for every single pre wedding event.
And giving main character syndrome, I’d say, a whole new meaning. She also continued to complain about how they feel abandoned and unloved by my extended family from the Midwest, who have been invited to their engagement party weekend, but cannot attend. I’m sorry, I would not be flying to an engagement party.
I just
Ivette: want it. And also the fact that you are sending, like, dress codes and lookbooks to the engagement party? Like, it’s not even the wedding.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Like, that’s a lot for a wedding, but that I can understand a little bit more. But an engagement party, you’re going to tell people what to wear, so they have to go out to a store, pay more money.
the engagement party weekend is at a small beach resort town. It’s expensive to fly to and the kids all have school. My sister’s wedding was over their spring break.
I try to explain to my brother and Lizzie saying, hey, the side of the family has kids. They’re not rich and they genuinely cannot afford to come to the event. It’s a multi day event that would put their kids out of school. You’re talking thousands of dollars just in plane tickets, not to mention hotel rooms.
You didn’t even invite them to your wedding. Just invited them to this and they Can’t afford to come. Like the kids. Yeah, they invited the parents and kids, the engagement party, but didn’t invite the kids to the wedding. So, she says, don’t take it personally, you just really didn’t plan this with them in mind.
Telling my brother and Lizzie this truth was clearly a mistake. Lizzie sent our whole family a text saying that it was unfortunate that our family didn’t support or care about them enough to show up. At this point, I really started to feel ill over the fact that my brother was marrying this girl.
It’s just a red flag after red flag. I’m beginning to feel like a prop, because the other thing I haven’t mentioned, she’s becoming a wedding content creator during all of this.
Ivette: Oh my god, I want to know who it is! Oh my gosh, this is bad. We can’t share this!
Christa Innis: Hey, the girl submitted it and you’re all like, I would, maybe share it. She goes, yep, you are that right. She quits her job at a consulting firm to work full time as a content creator and decides that her wedding is the best way to start. We are the props for her perfect Instagram wedding. At this point, I’m hating every minute of her wedding BS, but I’m also trying to keep a relationship intact with my brother because I love him and I’m also like blink twice if you need help.
You know,
Ivette: oh my gosh, this just put everything into like a whole different perspective like it makes sense like everything needs to be extravagant because the pictures need to look perfect because it needs to be filtered. So that you get more followers and I’m not saying every content creator is this way, but this person sounds like this is what they’re doing right yeah
Christa Innis: totally 100 percent terrible.
The Plus One Power Play
Ivette: Two months before the wedding, my plus one is revoked. Lizzie and my brother feel like I’ve defended my sister too much and taken her side during all the wedding drama.
Christa Innis: They want to punish me. My plus one is my boyfriend of a year and a half, and we already bought plane tickets. They can’t do that. I’d be like, I’m not coming anymore. That, yeah. It’s not like, oh, behave and you get a plus one. If you don’t behave, you take it. That’s not how plus ones work. I call my brother and say, Hey, we already bought plane tickets and got an Airbnb.
It’s incredibly cold and rude to disinvite my partner.said that he and Lizzie now feel as if I’m trying to upstage their wedding by bringing my boyfriend! This cannot be real! And they don’t want me making a big deal about it. Oh, they don’t want me making a big deal about their, about, oh my gosh.
Okay, at this point, I’m like, F it. I say to my brother, My boyfriend is going to come with me the weekend. If he’s not invited to the wedding, that’s up to you. You can exclude him. It’s in New York City, so he can find something fun to do on his own. My brother says, If you bring him to New York City, I will consider that as an attempt to draw attention from us on our wedding weekend.
Oh, come. These people are insane. I don’t,
Ivette: I don’t like him. I just, I can’t. I don’t. I would
Christa Innis: not be going.
Ivette: No, I would go. I would go to New York City. I would do all the fun tourist things. I would maybe like, oh, that’s your wedding. Oh, hey. And then just like keep going about my stuff. But yeah, no, I would go enjoy New York City.
I would not want to be a part of that wedding at all. At all.
Boundaries vs. Bridezilla
Christa Innis: I see you wouldn’t go to the wedding. Oh, no. I would go to New York. Yeah. Hundred percent. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would go to New York. Mm-hmm . Or I’d go to the wedding and like I’d say this, but I would never do this. I’m like, think of something like petty, like wear the wrong color or something.
I wouldn’t do that for all white . Walk in a ball. A ball gown. Ball gown. Yeah. No, I’m like, too, like I just wouldn’t, I can’t do confrontation. I wouldn’t be there. I say, well, we’re not cancelling his flight. He wants to spend time with me and our family, so he will come and he’ll spend time with us outside of the wedding.
You’re the one who disinvited him at the last minute in an effort to punish me. One month before the wedding, I get an email from Lizzie telling me that she needs me to get my hair and makeup professionally done. She’s not a bridesmaid. You can’t make someone do that. She tells me what color to paint my nails, what type of shoes I should wear, and what type of jewelry she expects me to wear.
I respond by telling her politely and a firm boundary. I say, You’ve given us wedding dress code. I will show up looking lovely and appropriately dressed to your big day. You don’t need to tell me what type of specific jewelry to wear or how to paint my nails. I to do my own hair and makeup as I cannot afford to pay a hair and makeup artist of your choosing on top of all the travel expenses.
Thank you.
Ivette: She’s not even in. She was demoted. How dare you?
Christa Innis: And I’m one for two, where like, even if you are a bridesmaid, give them the option. Like, never You give them
Ivette: options. Yeah. This is who’s doing the hair, this is who’s doing the makeup. If you want to, sure. If you don’t, that’s fine too. You
Christa Innis: feel more comfortable doing it yourself, that’s fine. I don’t care.
Ivette: This is the company, these are the dresses, or this is the color. These are the 10 different styles that they have. Whatever you want on your body, that’s what you choose. Like, you did that for us. Yeah. And, like, this person wants you to do this, this, this, this, this. Like, it has to be that or you’re out. Of what?
Of being a guest of honor?
Christa Innis: Yeah, I don’t even know what that means. This is like, honestly, the craziest story I’ve ever read. Every week I’m like, oh, this is the craziest I’ve ever read. I think this is honestly the most insane. Alright, we got two little paragraphs left. Well, that was the last I ever heard from her.
I went to the wedding with my family and without my partner. The food sucked. The venue was ridiculously expensive. She yelled at guests for accidentally walking into the venue too early while they were taking photos. My brother looks like a hostage. Yeah. My mom cried during the vows, but not because she was happy.
My dad talked to the father of the bride and learned that Lizzie had spent triple of the wedding budget. Yikes. She got all the Instagram footage and TikTok dances and pictures she could ever want in order to launch her career as a wedding content creator. There it is. She cared more about the outer, which I feel like people get caught up in so much.
It was like, they get more into the outer appearance of what everyone’s going to think about their wedding. Less about your marriage, the future celebrating with your family and friends. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. one of her best friends. And bridesmaids don’t even speak anymore. She asked people to pull out their phones during the ceremony and take selfies for social media.
She blocked me on instagram after the wedding because I didn’t post about the wedding and I haven’t heard from her or my brother in two years. This is gonna be sad. My brother used to make Be my best friend. I’m confused and heartbroken and worried about what his life will be like.
Sometimes I peep on their account from my other Instagram where I’m not blocked. I see her keeping up appearances and to be quite honest, she’s building an empire as a wedding content creator. Oh my gosh. To her credit, she works her butt off, but I know that every beautiful highlight reel posted to Instagram has its own dark story underneath.
That’s it. Imagine you and this girl have like partnered up. She’s been on the podcast. Oh my. Oh my gosh, that is so sad. That’s really sad, and that’s the thing with social media too, is like, you never know what’s actually going on behind the scenes when people are Posting all this aesthetic. I mean, you hear about influencers, like renting out jets.
So it looks like they have a private jet just to
Ivette: sit I’ve heard that too. Or like people being accused for that
Christa Innis: is a better
Ivette: way to put it.
Christa Innis: Cause we don’t really know. I guess I don’t really know. Right. And it’s just like, that’s just the whole appearances thing. Cause I mean, it’s just like, I guess if that’s your brand.
Ivette: Yeah. I think like in a day where like you can filter everything, you can like, Be like in your basement and make it look like you’re at some expensive resort somewhere right like people really crave like authenticity and like realness and, like talking about like harder stuff and it’s like, that’s why I don’t even post anymore.
Like, it used to be so fun to post on social media, but it’s like. I think I’ve told you this, like, I’ve struggled because it’s like, why am I posting this highlight of my life when it’s not all, rainbows and sunshine, you know, like most of my days are like crappy kind of, or like I’m busy or I’m tired and yeah, so.
Yeah,
Christa Innis: I know, I totally relate to that because like I, obviously I post on social. But I don’t post a lot of personal stuff because I feel like if I, and we talked about this too, it’s like if I’m looking for that like craving of someone to like applaud my life or to applaud something personally, then I’m lacking somewhere else or I feel like I need something like, you know, or sometime with myself or I don’t know, it’s just like, I’m the same because I used to like, I mean, Facebook days, I used to post all the time in college.
Like, you’d go out for a night and you’d post all 25 pictures. And then it just got to a point where it’s like, who am I posting that for? like, I love to entertain with content now, but it’s like, if I’m just, like, at home, Or I’m out. I’m not. I just don’t post about that stuff.
I think some people get caught up in this where they like start seeing people engage and they’re like, I have to keep it up. But like, that’s stressful. It’s also stressful to keep up appearances like that.
Ivette: I was just gonna say like, she spent triple the budget. And now like There’s an expectation of like, oh, like this is the kind of like space that you are in.
These are the kind of things that you purchase. So like every picture has to either be like that or up it or it’s not entertaining. You know what I mean? But when you’re posting like about your work, like your work is like the center of attention. That’s different, right? And so.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I feel like some of the, my favorite people to follow, like you were saying, they’re so authentic.
Like, oh, I’m trying to think of her last name. What’s her name? Jen. I can’t think of her last name. Elise Meyers is one that I follow who’s so authentic in her story and how she talks and shares, she’ll just be like in her room and just talk about her workday. Jen, who’s a labor nurse. I cannot think of her last name.
It’s gonna kill me. But, um, yes, I sent her stuff. Um, but she to like, she’ll be like hair up in a bun. And she’s like, This is my life right now. I’m like with my chickens and it’s just like very like Normal stuff and like not like I have chickens, but you know I mean like it’s just she doesn’t try to put on this facade of like my glamorous life Like everyone’s life has aspects that are glamorous or nicer but yeah, I think it’s like it’s so easy to get caught up in that and just I don’t know I feel really bad for this girl because it sounds like I can’t speak for everyone, but I’m sure we all can think of someone that’s been into, in a relationship like that where you’re like, he or she is like lost because they’re so enamored in what’s going on with their partner and they’ve turned away from their family.
Ivette: And I’m thinking to like imagine hard it is like when you’re in a relationship with someone and you’re like, oh, I want to leave or whatever, but then it’s like, oh, what is this person going to think? What is this person going to think? But now it’s like, it’s not just your friends and family. It’s like all of your followers.
All of your business, like not to say that that’s where they’re at, because like, we hope that that’s not the case. Right. But, if everything is based off of appearances, like it’s to be that much harder to change, walk away, be true to yourself, you know, so
Christa Innis: yeah, that was a rough one. That was really, thanks for this girl for sharing it.
I feel like it was probably therapeutic for her to type it all out. I hear that a lot from people. They’re like, I’ve held all this in and so me being able to type it like helped me feel better. So I can’t imagine though, like just having your brother just not speak to you or your family because of their partner.
So.
Ivette: even hearing the story though, I feel like. She did things the right way, like, she was very, like, composed, very mature, and I love the way she spoke about her sister. It was so beautiful. You know what I mean? I feel like her heart is at the
Christa Innis: right place. A hundred percent. Yeah, she did a great job, like, setting the boundary, not letting this girl walk all over them.
Right. and it also goes to show, too, there’s no pleasing people like this, because I think a lot of times people think, like, especially as people pleasers, we think, like, Oh, if I just do this for them, then they’ll understand If I say, okay, then they’ll be fine. And it’s like, no, once you let them tread over you, they’ll keep going.
Yeah. Yeah. So it’s like her with even her boundaries, it was not okay. Cause probably she’s never been told no before. Right. Yeah. Good for her. Yeah. Props to her. well, that was a long story, but thanks Frank. we need to do this more often because it’s kind of fun just to like. Hang out and like have a glass of wine because we never get to do this.
I loved it. Thanks for having me. Thanks for doing this with me. Yeah. so before you go, is there any last parting advice or anything you’re working on that you’re excited about?
Ivette: I’m almost done with grad school. I have like eight weeks left and I’m so excited because it’s meaning that we can actually hang out. We can, my schedule is not going to be booked and maybe the next time if we do this, it’ll be in person.
Christa Innis: Yes. That was our goal for everyone like listening. That was our goal to do in person and I got like, I feel like our schedules are not like It was just hard.
And also we were like, wait, three more weeks have passed. We got to figure this out. And I recorded my closet as of now. And I’m like, how would we do in person? I guess we can go in the living room. We got to find a space. And then I was just naked in that closet.
Ivette: We could just
Christa Innis: squeeze in here. We probably could. We’ve sat in weirder places together. Yes. It would
Ivette: be fine. Normal. Yes. All right. Awesome. Well, thanks for having me. Thank you.
Vegas Vows, MIL Meltdown, and Uninvited Guests with Saron Olkaba
What happens when a mother-in-law hijacks your wedding and makes it all about her? Absolute mayhem.
This week on Here Comes the Drama, we dive into one of the most outrageous MIL meltdowns ever. From insisting on a 500-guest wedding to uninviting the bride from a wedding dinner, this story is a rollercoaster of entitlement, manipulation, and jaw-dropping audacity.
Saron Olkaba, a pop culture commentator, reality TV aficionado, and queen of hot takes joins Christa for a brutally honest take on wedding chaos, pop culture madness, and why cash bars should be banned. They’re spilling all the drama—from surprise proposals gone horribly wrong to the great debate on whether kids should even be at weddings.
Trust us, you don’t want to miss this one. If you love wedding scandals, unfiltered opinions, and stories that will make you gasp, this episode is for you!
Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month!
Episode Chapter Markers
00:00 Introduction
01:13 Pop Culture and Reality TV Talk
05:15 Wedding Hot Takes and Trends
14:43 Crazy Wedding Stories
19:25 Wedding Drama Unfolds
19:59 Mother-in-Law’s Overbearing Behavior
21:57 The Wedding Day Chaos
25:15 Post-Wedding Reflections and Confessions
Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments
- A bride shares how her MIL tried to double the guest list, uninvited her from a wedding dinner, and threw a fit over boundaries.
- Should you ever make guests pay for drinks?
- Should we retire the bouquet and garter toss tradition?
- A best man ambushes a wedding toast with a proposal—without asking the couple!
- Kids at weddings: Are they cute guests or chaotic distractions?
- When the groom actually attended a wedding-related event that excluded his bride…
- MIL’s final meltdown: Blocking, crying, and dramatic exits—this wedding story escalates to a shocking ending.
- Will the couple cut ties for good? Should this bride run before it’s too late?
Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode
- ”If you can’t be away from your kids, just don’t come, it’s fine.” – Saron Olkaba
- ”Some hills are not worth dying on and others are. You just have to trust your gut.” – Saron Olkaba
- “Cash bars, certainly, never, it’s never okay under any circumstance. That’s a huge problem.” – Saron Olkaba
- “Be creative. You don’t have to shove yourself into this box.” – Saron Olkaba
- “ Let’s not surprise a bride and groom on their wedding day.” – Christa Innis
About Saron
Saron Olkaba is a pop culture content creator known for her sharp commentary on celebrity news, reality TV, and trending topics. By blending humor, insight, and real talk, she delivers engaging takes on everything from viral scandals to entertainment industry moments.
With a background in political consulting, Saron brings a unique perspective to the digital space, proving that smart women can love pop culture too.
You can find her sharing the latest buzz on TikTok and Instagram (@saronthings), and stay tuned for her upcoming YouTube series featuring deep dives into the hottest topics in media.
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Blog Transcript:
Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Christa Innis: Well, hello. Thank you for coming on.
Saron Olkaba: Thank you for having me. I’m thrilled to be here.
Christa Innis: I’m so excited. I was saying before we started, I feel like I know you from watching, all your videos and your hot takes. I mean, you talk a lot about things in the media, I mean, right now it’s like Justin Valdoni and, I was gonna say Serena Van Der Woodsen.
Oh my gosh, aging. I haven’t watched Gossip Girl in so long. Blake Lively, totally a brain fart right there.
Saron Olkaba: Could not even think of the thing that people say about her, is that she plays the same person in every character she plays. So, like, Serena Van Der Woodsen and Blake Lively, kind of interchangeable.
Christa Innis: It’s fine. I do get a lot of news from you. I’m like, okay, when I see your video, I’m like, okay, I need to see what’s going on in the news. TikTok brings us all the good stuff we want to hear about.
Can you just tell everyone a little bit about yourself, what you do? and then we’ll kind of get into these crazy hot takes.
Getting to Know Saron Olkaba
Saron Olkaba: Yeah. So I make pop culture content on Instagram and TikTok. It’s content about like the zeitgeist things that are going on in the media, celebrity gossip. I think that, like most of my viewers and followers, are women. And I like to think that women contain multitudes, right? Like, I’m a political consultant in my nine to five day job, but, I also am obsessed with all things pop culture, and, you, Bravo and similar things. So I like to say that smart women Love this kind of sh*t as well. So I like to take it from a kind of Look at these things kind of from a higher level. I like to be fact based, but I also like to talk sh*t So it’s a fun little community.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I love it. I feel like it’s just a great Real Housewives, that kind of stuff, it’s great to just turn your head off, do your mind off, and just, watch some trash TV.
I haven’t watched Real Housewives in so long, like, that kind, but I was a big, like, New Jersey girl all the way. Loved watching it. So good.
Saron Olkaba: You have to, if you’re gonna watch the Housewives, Salt Lake City. Just watch that one. I urge you. To watch Salt Lake City. There are only five seasons. It’s immaculate. It’s horrifying. It’s. incredible, just please.
Christa Innis: Okay. I didn’t even know there was one. So I got to jump back in. I kind of like to hop around when it comes to reality TV. I was in bachelor nation for a little while. I wasn’t in it. I watched it.
Saron Olkaba: I missed
Christa Innis: Oh, yeah. No, definitely not. and then I would watch Bachelor in Paradise and I was like, I don’t know.
It’s all the same. Like I can’t get into it. So I like reality more. Like what’s going to happen is who’s going to fight with who? Right stuff.
Saron Olkaba: Yeah, I really got into The Bachelor because I feel like none of the couples really make it. So we’re just doing the same thing over again. We know how it is, they’re going to, they might be with each other for a little bit and then they break up or there’s two happy endings and 30 seasons. So, yes.
Christa Innis: Yeah. And it’s funny. I don’t know if you saw,, and by the time this comes out, this will probably be old news, but. Alex Cooper interviewed, I don’t even know if you know who Rachel Kirkholm is. Yeah, and they were one of the couples I was like, they’re holding on strong. They always presented themselves as happy.
And you see that and you’re just like, it was all a lie.
Saron Olkaba: Well, I think a lot of people are saying that he was just never gonna marry her if he didn’t want to get engaged at the end of this process where the end goal is to get engaged. What would make you think in the next four years something would change? So I’m excited to listen to that interview too.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I was listening to it last night, part of it and I was like, Oh my gosh, is she got her like quick. Let’s talk about it. So one of the reasons I was like, you would be perfect to have you come on this podcast is because you have so many great hot takes and I feel like just with these crazy, wedding stories, I get, um, proposal, engagement, all that stuff.
I was like, I need someone with some good opinions and we can just kind of banter through some stuff. So the first kind of category is crazy stories and wedding hot takes. So I have some different hot takes that people send me. And so I want to get your opinion on these. So what is one wedding trend or something that you’ve seen at weddings that you either absolutely include or you despise seeing?
Cash Bars, Garter Tosses, and Other Wedding Debates
Saron Olkaba: Cash bar, certainly, never, it’s never okay under any circumstance. That’s a huge problem. That’s a huge problem. Even if you don’t drink. Oh, alcohol free weddings. Even if you are sober, you got to provide, got to provide a drink or two and you can’t make people pay for it. I think it’s like the tackiest thing in the world. Period.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. I love it. I love it. No, I love it. I think it’s great. me personally. I agree. I feel like you need to have. Something there. I remember one time this actually just came to me. We’re talking about crazy stories. we’re at a wedding and it started off as a semi-open bar. So I think certain things were selected. It was fine. But then they switched to a cash bar without telling people and it was like people were getting their drinks. My now husband and I were up at the bar and he ordered drinks for us. And they were like, Okay, it’s this total. And he’s like, Oh, I thought this was open. Like, we didn’t have our wallets on us or anything.
And they’re like, No, switched to cash at 8 p.m. It was the weirdest thing. I would have said, Oh, I thought this was a wedding. Yeah,
I was like, Wait, this is weird. So then he ended up getting his wallet, buying the drinks. Then we left our drinks on the dance floor while we were dancing, and they cleared everyone’s drinks off the table.
So we’re like, they switched to a cash bar mid wedding, but didn’t announce it. And then we’re clearing the drinks off the tables when people are dancing. Oh no,
Saron Olkaba: That is absolutely unacceptable. Absolutely. You’re like providing an experience. People are coming out of their way to celebrate you.
They’re probably giving you a present. They might have flown out here. It’s not a paid experience. There’s already enough investment being involved in a wedding, just going to a wedding, doing all the events around a wedding. No, give them a good time if you’re gonna do it.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I totally agree with that. So, what are your thoughts on the bouquet and garter toss, because this is one of the ones I always ask Instagram followers, and this is like the one that comes up all the time to get rid of it, stop doing it. It’s weird. It’s gross. So what is your take on it?
Saron Olkaba: Yes to the bouquet, no to the garter. The garter is when the guy goes literally under her dress. That is a horror, that’s not okay. I can’t imagine. I feel like I’m at the wedding. My dad’s here, that’s so insane, no, please.
That’s not. I don’t feel particularly passionate about the bouquet as passionately as I feel about the garter knot, which should not be a thing, it’s fun, but I hope no one actually thinks that it means that you’re gonna be the one to get married next.
Christa Innis: I. Literally have been to so many weddings where the women get vicious and they like to push you. I’m like, we know we’re not actually the next one. Like it’s going to be okay. I’ve seen the videos too where they like literally push all the way and I’m like, it’s not that serious.
Saron Olkaba: Like full on shove her to the ground.
Christa Innis: No, not for me.
Saron Olkaba: Not for me at all. And then there’s the like, you throw the bouquet and then someone catches it or like she hands it to the woman so that she can get proposed to. That’s my list of no’s as well. proposals at the wedding.
Christa Innis: Yes, I’m so glad you brought that up because someone shared a confession with me last week saying at her wedding, the best man during his speech proposed to his girlfriend, who was also a bridesmaid.
And I was like, no one knew? The bride and groom didn’t know that was gonna happen? No one knew. She said she was mortified. Security. Security. Yeah, out of here. I was like, I need to know more. I messaged her and I was like, can you tell me more? And so she said they ended up pulling him away and being like, this is not okay.
And they didn’t understand why. But then he still came back, put the ring on her finger. She hugged him and said yes. In front of everybody. She’s walking around the dance floor showing off her ring. She’s like, yeah. I can’t even believe this happened. And she’s like, I always watched your crazy wedding stories thinking it would never happen to me.
And that happened. Were there any signs that this man was a psychopath prior to? They said they’ve been friends with him for a long time. And I, I don’t know. I don’t realize how Weird and rude that is.
Saron Olkaba: No, it’s so tacky. No.
Christa Innis: Absolutely not.
Saron Olkaba: Unless, you know, the bride is in on it. And I’ve seen videos where the bride is full on team, get proposed throughout my wedding, like here’s the bouquet, turn around, I was like, yay. And do you, God bless you. That’s incredible. right. Couldn’t be me, but incredible nonetheless.
Christa Innis: Right.
Saron Olkaba: So that’s fine.
Christa Innis: Yeah. There’s a lot of steps you should take before making sure that’s okay. Like no surprise. Let’s not surprise a bride and groom on their wedding day.
Saron Olkaba: Right? No.
Christa Innis: Okay. So these are just some fun, like picking a side on these wedding drama debates. These are other unpopular opinions that people sent me.
So this person said having kids at the reception is a good thing and they should come and feel welcome. What’s your take on kids at weddings?
Saron Olkaba: I think that just likeA declarative sentence, having kids at a wedding is a good thing, like, by what measure, you if the bride and groom feel like it’s going to be a safe experience for them and whatever, sure, but if they want to party and not have to worry about some kid getting trampled on the dance floor, that’s completely up to them, and you should absolutely respect it, It’s not up to you, so, I don’t understand why people get so upset about it, it’s a big deal for them, it’s the one event where they’re allowed to kind of do this, if you can’t be away from your kids, just don’t come, it’s fine, just RSVP, no, yeah.
Christa Innis: I know, that’s why I’m like, when people get so upset about it, I’m like, if you can’t go, just say no, wouldn’t be offended. Either way, I’m like, now that I have a toddler, I get it. If people do not want a toddler, day, night, either for me, or if we can’t get a babysitter, I will say no, because I would not want to.
A toddler there. Like, I get it. it’s just like, when people get so mad about it, I’m like, I don’t understand the philosophy.
Saron Olkaba: That being said, I told you I was engaged once and I almost got married. It was like a couple of months out from the wedding when it was cancelled.
But, having said that, I’m more than okay with child free weddings. We had set up child care for the people that were going to come and babysitters. And there was a difference, they were in a completely different place with their home. They would have been with their own food and their own people watching them.
And their parents could have gone back and forth to see whatever. So, If you’re going to have kids at your wedding, I think that’s a nice way to do it.
Christa Innis: I love that. I’ve been hearing that more and more. People have a separate area, a fun room for kids, or fun things, yeah. Padded walls. Exactly, yeah. Blocked, because that’s the thing. It’s like the biggest thing I think with kids at a wedding is, it’s the parents that aren’t watching the kids, or like, they’re at a certain age where they can get into anything. Like, I know if I bring my toddler somewhere, like, they’re, she’s gonna figure out a way to try to do something.
And so, like, there’s certain ages, too, where it’s like, you have to either be on them the whole time, or you can’t enjoy yourself. So, I feel like the extra room is great. Like, we had just, like, our nieces and nephews at our wedding, which was, like, so great. seven kids. And we, but we were provided with coloring stuff.
We had their own kids table. Plus we knew them well enough to where like, okay, we know they’re going to be well behaved there.
Saron Olkaba: So you said only like, I think that that’s perfectly fair as well. If you’re just like only the children that are related to us can come, like, and if people make a stink about not being able to bring their kids because, Oh, like, why can they come then? You know?
Christa Innis: Yeah. Sucks to suck. I know, because that’s something I hear too. They’re like, oh, but if you say no to my kids and I come and your nieces and nephews are there, I’ll be so mad. It’s like, you’re gonna be mad that like the bride’s niece is there versus like a co-worker’s son or something like that. I’m like, that’s so different.
Saron Olkaba: The entire drama is wild.
Christa Innis: They just don’t come. It’s fun. It is so wild. This person said, White bridesmaid dresses are weird.
Saron Olkaba: If the bride likes it, I love it. I’m not judging someone’s, like, aesthetic choices in, like, that sense. If the bridesmaid dresses are, like, stunning, gorgeous white, as long as they look good, I don’t care.
I mean, and, I don’t know if you’ve watched, like, Selling Sunset, Christine Quinn. She had, like, this black ball gown wedding dress. Oh, I did! Right? And so like, is it my style? No, but like, I don’t know. It’s 2025. We’ve been doing weddings for a long time. Like, let’s, I don’t know, let’s mix it up.
Christa Innis: I love, yeah, I love when people do like unique, crazy stuff.
I love when the bridesmaids all wear white dresses along with the bride. I think it looks pretty. But I saw this bride that had a dress that turned into a rainbow and like, like, she unbuttoned it and it turned into this rainbow dress. And I was like, that is beautiful. That’s stunning. That’s something I never would have thought of.
Yeah. Like, you go, girl.
Saron Olkaba: Be creative. You don’t have to, like, shove yourself into this box. Like, as long I mean, if you want to As long as you’re getting married at the end of it, that’s the end goal. Just like throw the party you want to throw and invite the people you want to invite. Like you’re spending a lot of money on this sh*t.
Have a good day, do whatever you want to do. Yeah.
Christa Innis: Do you black out all the haters? Pluck out the naysayers, provide
Saron Olkaba: booze, but provide,
Christa Innis: provide booze. Yeah. Provide some good entertainment. Good DJ. Yeah. Okay. Let’s jump into. This week’s story. It’s a long one. That’s all I can do. I have not read it. Just the beginning starts with the monster in law.
So it’s about to get kind of crazy.
Saron Olkaba: I love monster in law stories.
Monster-in-Law Alert: Wedding Drama at Its Worst
Christa Innis: It’s insane. I read these and I feel so grateful that I have a great mother-in-law. I reason I’m just like, these are insane. okay, so feel free to stop me at any point. And then I’ll kind of just pause and we can kind of just react as we go.
okay. I’ve been holding my tongue for a long while, but I’m angry all the time and I needed to get this off my chest. So who better than to tell you? Hopefully this will give some content, um, because I honestly don’t know what else to do about my monster in law. I got engaged in July 2024, and from the moment we announced it, my future mother-in-law started bombarding us with questions about the wedding.
She asked when it would be, how many people we were thinking of inviting. I told her around 250 guests and she immediately said, no, it should be 500, 500. Holy cow. Um, Right. I’m like, that’s the thing, too, is like you find the ones that are so opinionated are not even giving any money a lot of times.
Saron Olkaba: I would think that would be obvious, like, you can’t say you can double the wedding if you’re not paying for the wedding.
That’s insane. Okay, continue. Yeah.
Christa Innis: No, I agree. Um, I calmly explained that we only wanted people we were close to, family or not. I also mentioned it would be a kid-free wedding except for nieces and nephews. There we go. She lost it and started a fight. Okay, a few weeks later the topic came up again, and I mentioned we were planning a sober wedding since my fiance is two years sober. He’s like covering all the things we just talked about.
Saron Olkaba: I swear we did not cover
Christa Innis: Literally, I don’t even put these together because I don’t want to read them ahead of time, so I did not even know. My mother-in-law and future sister in law laughed and said it was fine. But my fiance would need to leave the reception because they would be drinking. Wait, but isn’t this his mom and sister?
Saron Olkaba: Why would they want your fiance? The groom would be leaving his own reception to drink elsewhere apart from the
Christa Innis: what? And this is confusing because I’m like, it’s the mother-in-law, you would think she would be not wanting to like you think she’d be up against the bride, but not the groom because the groom’s her son, right?
Saron Olkaba: I think that she’s probably positioning this as oh, he wants to have a good time and drink so he can’t stay at a dry reception all night. Like we got to go to the bar or some Insanity like that. I don’t know. Please. I can’t wait to go.
Christa Innis: What? Oh my gosh. Okay. Um, That is crazy. Okay. Eventually my fiance and I decided to get married in Las Vegas to avoid all the drama.
We kept the guest list to immediate family and one friend each because the venue could only hold 50 people. We thought this would make things easier. It didn’t. Oh yeah, someone like that’s going to come right in being like, You didn’t invite me.
Saron Olkaba: Continue. There’s no winning. Okay.
Christa Innis: Yeah, this is like two weeks before the wedding. Okay, so they still were going to have this big wedding. They just did like an elopement, just the two of them. So two weeks before the wedding, my mother in law started talking about my fiancé’s dad’s nephew. I’m like, fiancé’s dad’s nephew, okay?
Um, come back. Yeah. Oh yeah. I’m like, drawing a tree in my head. I’m like, where did this go? Um, I never met this nephew. In the 12 years I’d known my fiancé, I told her the guest list was set, and there was no room. She said that was fine, and he could just enjoy it, he could just join us afterwards. I agreed.
Five days before the wedding, my fiancé got a text from his sister in law, oh, from his sister. Inviting him to dinner. He asked if I was welcome and she said, no, family only. That’s weird. His mom chimed in, doubling down saying only immediate family. She cannot come. Okay. Don’t you think like a fiance kind of becomes that?
Okay, this was a dinner to celebrate my fiance getting married and I wasn’t invited what
Saron Olkaba: getting married
Christa Innis: to you and they didn’t want you to come. Okay, he went while I stayed home and then he went. See
Saron Olkaba: girl, this is why you can’t, I already know how I feel. You can’t marry this man. This is a crazy situation.
Don’t, you’re asking for misery for the rest of your f*cking life. Yes. Who will not, who will go to a wedding, a party about a wedding that you are the bride in, that you are not invited to. He said, chill, bet, like this sounds normal to me. This is how you want to start our union? This is insane. You can’t, you can’t do this.
You can’t marry this. No,
Christa Innis: I am. Yeah. What? I am shocked. Why would he go without you? That would be like a no for me. That would be like, sorry. Like, you, you’re choosing your immediate family, who, your fiance, new wife, should be your immediate family. No.
Saron Olkaba: Marry your sister then. Marry your mom. What?
Christa Innis: Okay, five, Okay, later, okay, so he went, while I stayed at home, later my mother-in-law made a Facebook post congratulating him and tagged me in it, which this is important later, she says.
The day before we left for Vegas, my mother-in-law asked me to lunch. Even though I had so much to do, I agreed. At lunch, she told me my fiancé’s little brother had invited a friend to the wedding. I corrected her, saying he asked Wait saying he asked but we said no. Okay, so that little brother had already asked them and she said no She replied.
Well, he invited her weeks ago, and I said it was fine. It’s too late to uninvite her now
Saron Olkaba: It’s not even too late to uninvite you b*tch. Okay, so what do you mean? It’s too late to uninvite her
Christa Innis: Like what is this controlling behavior? Like I’m already so like Angry for this person because I’m like he your fiance is not even on your side.
Saron Olkaba: I’m sweating. Okay,
Christa Innis: this is bad Yeah, I feel like hot
Okay, I was furious but decided to talk to my fiance first when I told him he immediately texted his mom explaining It was disrespectful to invite someone without asking us that she needed to tell the friend he couldn’t come This sparked a meltdown. My future sister in law started calling and yelling at him, but he stood by me, okay, finally, saying no one else was getting a plus one.
When we arrived in Vegas, my mother-in-law asked again, Okay, so the wedding in Vegas is where the mother-in-law’s coming?
Saron Olkaba: Did I? She’s coming to both. Okay. They did the wedding in Vegas first because they thought it would placate her. And they invited only the immediate family from both sides, right? But they’re still having this big wedding.
Okay. They thought it would shut her up to do the first thing.
Christa Innis: To do her own thing. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. Because I’m like There’s so much happening. Yeah, you’ve got me. Okay. When we arrived in Vegas, my mother in law asked again if the nephew could come to the wedding because he was already there. I reminded her there was no room and my fiancé backed me up.
On the wedding day, I went to brunch with girls from both sides of the family. My mother in law ignored me completely. Even when I greeted her, I brushed it off and enjoyed the day. This mother in law hates her. Like, this is, I would be like, you are, you can’t come. This is terrible. Like, why would you want to feel like a stranger or unwanted at your own wedding?
Like,
Saron Olkaba: I don’t, I’m like, you can’t have this. She just has the worst energy. She’s just gonna, she’s gonna try and ruin your day. Why would you, no, I would hire security, give them a picture and That would be it.
Christa Innis: Yeah, because it’s not her right to be at this wedding.
Saron Olkaba: Like,
Christa Innis: I’d be like You’re, you’re done. Sorry.
I don’t want you there. She’s a guest. She’s a guest. Yeah, you are nothing more than a guest who could easily be scratched right off. Um, at this ceremony, my sisters told me that my fiancé’s family had taken up the front rows on both sides of the pews. My mother in law refused to move, saying her parents can find another place to sit.
No, so now she’s rude to, like, her family.
Saron Olkaba: I, I’m, I, okay, like this would not be, go well
Christa Innis: for me, or, or, like, I, cause now you’re gonna be, like you said, you’re gonna be dealing with this mother in law for the rest of your life. Like, if it’s bad now, imagine like, if they have kids, or if they buy a house, you know, any step in there,
Saron Olkaba: I don’t understand why someone would, why anyone would sign up to deal with that forever.
Like, mm hmm. You’re asking to be miserable for the rest of you, what man is worth that? What man is worth having to deal with the devil day, no.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I really hope this ends with like, they cut her off. Like, they’re done with her, I hope. Fingers crossed. Uh, cause that’s like the only way this is gonna work, I feel like.
Um, okay. So she said she had to move. I had to ask the officiant to step in and remind everyone which side was for the bride’s family and which for the groom’s. This made my mother in law furious. After the ceremony, during photos, the photographer suggested moving one of my fiancé’s siblings to my side to even things out.
My sister in law loudly said, Hell no, I’m not going over there. I ignored it. At the bowling alley reception, my mother in law asked, “Who are these animals? Who
Saron Olkaba: are these beasts?
Christa Innis: I don’t know, why do they think they’re so much better than, like, her and her family? Oh, God. Jesus. It’s like I’m speechless. This is probably one of the worst mother in law stories I’ve read.
And I’ve read a lot. At the bowling alley reception, my mother in law refused to sign the guest book, despite me and my husband asking multiple times. When she finally did, she just wrote congratulations with no warmth, and she left without saying goodbye.
Saron Olkaba: Like why? That’s the nicest thing she’s done thus far.
That’s the most pleasant she’s been in this whole story.
Christa Innis: Yeah. The next day, my mom invited us to lunch before she left town. My mother in law didn’t contact us, but took my brother, my husband’s brothers to go go karting and sightseeing instead. When my husband asked why we weren’t invited, she said, you were busy.
We weren’t. Two days later, I made a Facebook post about the wedding and saw that my mother in law had untagged me from her earlier post. When my husband asked why, she said, it was a post only for you.
Saron Olkaba: Ew. Do you wanna f*ck your son? Like, what is going on here? Why? I’m sorry, can I, can I curse here? Yeah, you’re fine.
Christa Innis: A little late to ask that question, but. Redo! No. Yeah, it’ll be fine. I don’t know. That is, um, yeah, why? Like why? I don’t get these mothers-in-law that hate their daughters-in-law so much that they’re, that they have no, they don’t care like what they say, like, I don’t, like no one’s good enough for their son.
I don’t, I don’t know what it is.
Saron Olkaba: It’s an enmeshment. I think that’s the word. Or like, what is that, um, no, it’s emotionally incest, even worse. Yes. No, that’s creepy as hell. Right.
Christa Innis: There was this skit, I don’t know if you watch SNL. There was the, did you see, um, oh, who hosted the Timothee Chalamet one? No, I haven’t seen it.
This last weekend? Okay, you have to watch it, but there’s one about that, but it’s extreme, like the Oedipus Complex. It’s about like Mother’s Day and like the sun being like, hey mom. I don’t know, it’s like. I,
Saron Olkaba: I’m horrified that I’m going to be looking this up just immediately after we get off this.
You need to.
Christa Innis: It was like a cringe, but I was like. It’s like way over the top, but it was like some of these moms, yeah, I could see it. I find
Saron Olkaba: It’s like, once you meet this psycho mom, mother in law, right? How, and you see that this man sees nothing wrong with their relationship and kind of encourages it and won’t ask her.
How are you still attracted to this man that might want to f*ck his mom? Like, I, how do you not, how do you not get the ick immediately and run away from, like, self preservation?
Christa Innis: Yeah, like, cause this is, my thing is, this is not the first time something like this has happened. She had given signs before they got engaged, or when they first met, like, I’m thinking, like, first dinner at a parent’s house.
Every girlfriend
Saron Olkaba: had a book before
Christa Innis: him, before her. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, like, what were the signs before? Yeah, because it wasn’t like, oh, they’re engaged now, they’re serious, now my real, like, craziness is gonna come out. Like, I feel like she had to have treated her poorly before this.
Saron Olkaba: Right. And the sister in law is also a b*tch as well.
Christa Innis: Yeah, what’s the deal with that? Okay, three days after the wedding, she texted my husband saying she wanted to talk about my behavior at the wedding. What? He told her he wouldn’t have that conversation without me there, and she refused. A few days later, she blocked me on social media and deleted my husband?
So what her behavior was like having boundaries and like, No, expecting her
Saron Olkaba: parents to be able to sit in the front row. Yeah. And not allowing some, uh, the friend of a co-worker of her neighbor’s nephew to come last minute. Those were the things. Right. Those were the things.
Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s, it’s. Those are really harsh to have.
I mean, maybe blocking on social media and deleting the husband is like the best thing, because then you guys can’t see her on social media. I wouldn’t have said a thing
Saron Olkaba: about that.
Christa Innis: I would have
Saron Olkaba: said,
Christa Innis: great. I’m like, awesome. Yeah, you saved it. Saved, saved me from doing it. When I tried reaching out, she called my husband crying.
Here we go. The victim said she’d been crying every day because of how I treated her. When he defended me like a good, she hung up because she realized he was gone. He is not, he’s not backing you up anymore, crazy mom. He is now
Saron Olkaba: someone else’s husband. Not yours.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Not yours. Finally, my husband texted her saying she had two options.
Have a conversation or lose him. She replied, I guess I won’t be seeing you anymore then. I mean, I would say hallelujah.
Saron Olkaba: I would be like, I’m so sorry, babe. Yeah. It’ll be like, we’ll, we’ll get this. It’s just trying to keep my face straight. Okay.
Christa Innis: I know. I feel like the petty in me, I’d be like, I’d text her, I’d be like, well, have a great life. Best of luck. Yeah. Honestly, like I’m, I’m relieved, you know, and I really hope they don’t like to contact her.
And I hope it’s just like left that way because this, like we were saying, this mother in law would make her life a living hell.
Saron Olkaba: Yeah. But like do, like crazy mother in laws like this, like just like let it, like let things go. Oops. I know, did
Christa Innis: She came creeping back? It’s over, yeah, right. They’re not that easy to get rid of, I’m
Saron Olkaba: pretty sure.
Christa Innis: I wonder how, like, soon this, how soon she sent me this story after it happened. So, like, if this was, like, that day or, like, a week later.
Saron Olkaba: Yeah, we might need a, a, uh,
Christa Innis: Yeah, we might need her to like to follow. Yeah, we need to follow up. We need one of those episodes where it’s like you tell us like everything that has happened since.
Did she really not speak her word? Um, because yeah, it could be that victim mentality of like, fine, I guess I’ll never see you again. You know, so dramatic. Yeah. They show up at the front door. Let’s make up. But big
Saron Olkaba: romantic gesture.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Come back. Running back to them. Um, well that was a crazy story.
Um, really hoping that this, um, bride woman, um, got some stronger boundaries away from this mother in law because if she comes crawling back, you know, it’s, it’s going to be worse. I don’t think this, this woman’s not realizing what she’s doing wrong. Yeah.
Saron Olkaba: Yeah. Yeah.
Christa Innis: Yeah. There’s.
Saron Olkaba: I mean, honestly, this ended the best case scenario for me.
Like ideally if she, I mean, this is your best chance at peace, ma’am. So let’s just continue praying every night that she sticks to no content and contact, and you can live your life peacefully because she sounds. Absolutely horrible. But like, is your husband sad about it?
Christa Innis: I don’t, that’s not your problem.
Yeah. Yeah, I’m glad the husband I hope he kind of realizes like showing up at that dinner without her was kind of weird. Because it seems like later on in these stories, he’s defending her more. So I’m like, okay, maybe he went and was like, okay, the way my mom’s acting is weird. Yeah, it was
Saron Olkaba: weird for me to go to a wedding with, about, without the bride that I’m marrying.
Yeah, perhaps. That’s, that’s
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Saron Olkaba: That was weird. That was weird. Let’s do that. Jesus. Frig it. That was insane.
Christa Innis: That was, yeah. So, uh, props to you for keeping your boundaries up and I just hope it stays that way and, and uh, your husband realizes that. He needs to back you up first.
Saron Olkaba: Yeah, let us know if, um, if she stays out of your life.
I pray that she does. Yeah,
Christa Innis: yeah, I think I need to do, like, uh, there’s so many stories on here that I, like, need follow ups with, so I feel like I need to reach out to some of these people and be like, a follow up episode and, like, share what’s been going on since, since they sent it. Cause this was 2024, so we’re talking seven months later now.
Hopefully seven months of peace
Saron Olkaba: and quiet. So much peace and quiet. It’s like your first seven months being married. I would imagine you just want to enjoy that. You do want someone tainting every big life milestone. Every time you have kids, she’s going to make it a problem. Like, every holiday. Like, you’re literally signing up to never enjoy anything, almost, like, ever again.
Best case scenario is that she eliminates herself from the situation. Yeah.
Christa Innis: And she can feel like a victim all she wants and you can live your best life. So
Saron Olkaba: 100%. Yeah.
Wedding Confessions & Unfiltered Reactions
Christa Innis: Yeah. Okay. All right. So I like to end this with a weekly confessions game. So people send their confessions and we kind of just We can rate them.
Sometimes it’s kind of weird rating them because I feel like, I’m like, oh, your confession wasn’t great. So, um, we can rate them if we want. But, um, so people send these ones. Here we go. Um, my sister in law got mad she wasn’t my maid of honor and then questioned all of my wedding decisions.
Saron Olkaba: Uh, she sounds awful.
Uh, no wonder she was not your maid of honor. And you sound like you have discernment, ma’am. So,
Christa Innis: yeah. Sounds like she didn’t even know you knew why.
Saron Olkaba: You’re not allowed to. You’re not allowed to get mad at people for the choices that they make in their wedding, right? Like, if she feels that someone, she wanted to have someone be her maid of honor that’s not, like, her, what she did was her being honest.
Her changing her mind is just doing it to placate you. Why would you want that? Let her have whoever she wants beside her. If you’re her sister and you love her, whatever, make sure she has the day that she wants and it’s not about you. It’s literally not about you.
Christa Innis: Yeah, totally agree. Um, oh, this one tells a couple not to marry each other.
We begged, um, was begged by so many people up until the wedding to stop it. So I don’t know what the outcome was. I did see one similar, maybe this is the other part of it, but I did see one similarly where she said they still got married and she still regrets, like they still like regret, regret it or something.
Um, letting it happen? Yeah, yeah, she said she liked to tell a couple, yeah.
Saron Olkaba: You have to be okay with every possible outcome. You gotta play this every way, you know, like if I tell her and she is, Like, f*ck you, I never want to speak to you again. Is this worth me potentially losing my friendship? Is this, are his, are the problems with him big enough or dangerous enough that it’s worth risking her reacting poorly and me losing her and her being like, even more isolated with this person?
Like, you just have to think that through. Some, like, some hills are not worth dying on and others are. You just have to trust your gut. I know.
Christa Innis: Yeah, like, I’ve definitely been a part of a wedding where she Was very unhappy and you could tell it was, like, a bachelorette party. They were, she was very upset. Like, I don’t want to go through with this.
And we’re like giving her support, like, Hey, we’re here. Like, you don’t have to do it. Like I’m talking like the night before the wedding, like after the rehearsal dinner, crying in the car with us and long story short, they got a divorce. So like. It didn’t work out. And, um, Were there signs? There were lots of signs.
Lots of signs. I think you’re right. Like,
Saron Olkaba: literally weeping the night before your wedding. Yeah. Not of happiness is
Christa Innis: Yeah. Well, that’s the thing. It’s like, So we could have been like, no, you’re not gonna marry him. Like, we’ll beg, you know. But it’s like, ultimately, it was her decision. Like, she was worried, more worried about like, you know, vendors that they already paid and this and that.
And it’s just like
Saron Olkaba: Vendors? That’s like a couple emails and you just gotta be, okay, eating, believe me, I’ve done it before, eating like tens of thousands of dollars, not great, but like, but like that versus, divorces are more expensive, first and foremost. Yes. If you, if you have something worth losing and also like, just don’t, if you have the Ability to stop the train.
Stop the f*cking train.
Christa Innis: Yes.
Saron Olkaba: Yeah. As quickly
Christa Innis: as possible.
Saron Olkaba: Okay, like, don’t wait to get so far down the road.
Christa Innis: Yeah, did you see the girl who went viral because she was left at the altar? Like, literally the most terrible, like, humiliating thing, right? But she turned it into, like, this fabulous party and they documented the whole thing and I was like, you go girl.
Like, she like I don’t even know, like, she went viral of, like, sharing this, like, amazing video of herself dancing at the wedding, and, like, I was like, yeah, you know what? That’s what you do. You turn up, you have a great party, that’s what you gotta do. I saw
Saron Olkaba: That, and you’re 100 percent correct. She is, like, the strongest.
She’s, like, an inspiration. She completely turned it around, um, and, like, when something that, like, that happens, Like, two months before, like, with me, devastating day of, I can’t even f*cking imagine, I can’t imagine, and to be able to, like, to find some joy in that day, and like, actually Realized that, oh, there are a bunch of people here that really love me.
And this is like a very sad or scary moment for me. And I could either isolate myself and, and kind of immediately start dwelling in it. Or I would like to try and make the best of it with all these people who adore me and want to see me happy. And it was just, it was incredible to watch. And she’s an inspiration.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I love that. I’m like, I don’t know. I don’t know how it acted at something like that. But I’m like, she’s yeah, definitely an inspiration in that aspect. Um, well, that is all I have planned for today. Thank you so much for coming on. It was so fun chatting with you. Um, I love your content. I love all the stuff you talk about.
Like I said, I feel like I get all my like pop culture, like what’s going on in the world from you. Um, so can you share with everyone where they can find you any fun things you’re working on and all that good stuff?
Saron Olkaba: Yeah, um, you can find me at saronthings, S A R O N, things, um, on TikTok and on, uh, Instagram.
I’m going to be starting a YouTube series soon, um, two 30 minute pop culture breakdowns a week, so stay tuned for that, but yeah, I’m mostly on, uh, Instagram and TikTok.
Christa Innis: Awesome. Well, thank you again so much for coming on. Yeah, it was so fun. It was so great chatting with you. Right. Awesome.those, and hopefully those will come out sometime early 2025.
Christa Innis: Oh, that’s so cool! How awesome. You, like, you do it all. You’ve got a lot of projects. My brain doesn’t stop.
Cassie Horrell: It’s like I have an idea and I’m like, yeah, I’m just going to go for it. have no clue what I’m doing out here.
I’m just having fun and going with the flow.
Christa Innis: I love it. It’s that like planner mindset where you’re just like, okay, let’s just do it. Let’s get busy and find something. I love that. well, when those are available, definitely send me links and stuff and we can get it in the show notes. Well, thank you so much for coming on.
That was so fun having you react. Like I said, had some people tag you in like comments and stuff and now I follow your stuff and I like I love your content because you’re so involved in the wedding stuff that you’ve got stories for days so yeah
Cassie Horrell: but I feel like we have a very similar audience because we’re storytellers and like my whole page isn’t storytelling but Usually one a day, I try to tell stories and I get the same, like, people will be like, Did you see her story? And they’ll tag me, and I’m like, Oh, I saw it. That’s a juicy one. Yes.
Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s so good. I, can’t stop watching the, drama stories. They just, those ones just get me. Like, I love it.
Cassie Horrell: I feel like they’re like, a little bit of, like, reprieve from people’s everyday life.
Like, they come and they watch our stories, and it’s like, a minute and a half of like, totally Drama that they’re not in.
Christa Innis: Yes. And they get
Cassie Horrell: their little fix for the day, and then they’re like, Okay, I’ll come back tomorrow, like, see the next part, or whatever’s going on.
Christa Innis: Yes, yeah, it’s a good little, little break from reality, I think.
Yes. Awesome. Well, thank you so much again for coming on. It was awesome chatting with you. Thank you so much.
All right, guys, that was my interview with Cassie. I love chatting with her. It’s so fun to hear from someone that is so involved in the wedding industry. She’s got a lot of hot takes and she has. Honestly seen it all. So, thank you, Cassie, for coming on. Just a reminder, guys, if you love this episode or loving this podcast, please leave a review on Apple podcast.
It really helps more people hear the podcast. And helps me create more amazing content for you. so I really appreciate all the support that this podcast has gotten so far, and I can’t wait for more people to hear it and to create some more content. If you also have suggestions of who you want to see next on the podcast, feel free to send me an email, send me some submissions.
I cannot wait to share more stories with more people. All right, guys, thanks so much for tuning in and I will see you next time.
Family Meetings, Social Media Disasters & a Great Grandma Twist - with Cassie Horrell
What happens when a wedding planner is asked to walk Great Grandma down the aisle… only to be handed a Tupperware container?!
In this episode, Christa sits down with wedding expert Cassie Horrell to unpack the wildest wedding stories, biggest etiquette debates, and the jaw-dropping family drama that comes with saying “I do.” From setting boundaries with toxic in-laws to why open seating is a terrible idea, no topic is off-limits. Plus, they tackle unpopular wedding opinions and the ultimate white dress dilemma.
Get ready to laugh, gasp, and take notes for your own wedding day!
Episode Chapter Markers
00:00 Introduction
06:43 The Wedding Planner Who Walked Great Grandma (Sort Of)
08:53 Wearing White to a Wedding: A Hard No?
11:38 First Looks vs. Traditional Aisle Moments
14:13 Why Open Seating at a Wedding is a Nightmare
17:53 The Worst Mother-in-Law Story You’ll Ever Hear
22:38 Bridesmaid Budget Drama & Bachelorette Expectations
27:08 Unpopular Wedding Opinions: Toss Traditions or Keep Them?
31:46 Wedding Confessions: The Most Awkward Guest Bets Ever
Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments
- Great Grandma’s Final Wedding Appearance – When a groom’s family insists their beloved great-grandmother must be part of the wedding, Cassie prepares for an emotional moment—until she’s handed a Tupperware container.
- Wearing White to a Wedding: A Crime? – Cassie and Christa debate the biggest wedding guest faux pas and share real-life stories of guests who should’ve known better.
- First Look vs. Traditional Aisle Moment – The pros, cons, and the real reason so many wedding planners swear by first looks.
- The Worst Mother-in-Law Ever? – This mother-in-law sabotaged dress shopping, criticized the bride’s body, and demanded her son’s ex be reinstated as a bridesmaid.
- Why Open Seating is a Disaster – Cassie explains why letting guests pick their own seats sounds nice in theory—but causes absolute chaos in reality.
- Wedding Confessions: The Awkward Guest Bets – What happens when wedding guests start betting on how long the marriage will last? Christa and Cassie react to the ultimate cringe moment.
Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode
“PSA: If you have to ask, ‘Is this too white for a wedding?’—the answer is YES.” – Christa Innis
“I could not imagine having to walk on eggshells around my in-laws. That’s terrifying.” – Christa Innis
“Why do people feel the need to comment on a bride’s body on her wedding day?” – Christa Innis
“Nothing is mandatory at a wedding. If a tradition doesn’t serve you, toss it.” – Cassie Horrell
“If your wedding planner asks if your guest list is finalized, don’t surprise them with last-minute ‘add-ons’ like great-grandma’s ashes.” – Cassie Horrell
“You don’t need to invite people just because they’re family. It’s your day.” – Cassie Horrell
About Cassie
Cassie Horrell is a seasoned wedding planner and event coordinator known for her ability to handle even the most unpredictable wedding day chaos with humor and grace. With years of experience in the industry, Cassie has seen it all—from heartwarming moments to jaw-dropping disasters—and she’s not afraid to spill the tea. She’s passionate about helping couples navigate the stress of wedding planning, set boundaries with overbearing family members, and create a day that feels authentically theirs. Whether it’s dodging last-minute guest list surprises or dealing with wedding etiquette debates, Cassie brings expertise, real talk, and a whole lot of laughs.
Follow Cassie Horrell:
Join the Drama with Christa Innis:
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Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.
Submit your story today: Story Submission Form
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A Team Dklutr Production
Blog Transcript:
Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Christa Innis: Hi, Cassie. Thank you so much for coming on.
Cassie Horrell: Of course. Thank you so much for having me.
Christa Innis: Yes. I’m so excited, especially because you have like firsthand experience in wedding drama. You do so much when it comes to weddings and you have some amazing content that I’ve loved, like seeing more recently. Cause when I started talking about the podcast, people kept tagging you.
And I was like, this is so cool. And you have like so many stories. So I was like, we have to talk and like, see what we can, come up with here. But before we get started, can you just tell us a little bit about you and what you do and then we’ll kind of jump into it.
Cassie Horrell: Yeah, my name is Cassie.
A lot of people on tiktok know me as wedding pro cast. I’ve been in the industry for about 12 years now. Always working venue based usually from properties like clubs, resorts. And now I work at the Heinz History Center in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. so that’s kind of my main job. I help and lead a team that does about 60 weddings a year.
So we see a ton come in and out of our building. and I own a mobile bar, Clink 92, that services weddings and all kinds of events in Pittsburgh and Ohio. And then just this year, because of TikTok, I have started taking on personal clients, very small, anywhere between two to five a year, just because I’m so busy, where I actually do full service planning and partial planning for couples, so.
Christa Innis: That is amazing. Having fun. Yeah. So you’re like a planner by nature. You love getting it all together.
Cassie Horrell: Yes. I feel like since I’ve been young, that’s how I am. And I am just a very creative person. So any type of outlet where I can be connecting with people and sharing ideas and building something from the ground up, I absolutely love.
Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s amazing. And 60 weddings a year. Wow. That is, how do you keep everything like straight? Like, do you ever like mix up like, Oh, this couple here, wait, that was that couple. Like, I don’t, how do you, you have to be a really like very organized person.
Cassie Horrell: So I have to say, like, a lot of the reason we’re so successful is because of the amazing people that work on my team. I oversee several planners, events operations managers, and a full crew that really help the magic kind of come together on a wedding day. So that helps me not have to take on the brunt of everything, which helps a lot. I usually just at the History Center have anywhere between 8 to 12 couples that are specifically mine. Um, So that makes it a little bit easier to manage.
Christa Innis: Yeah, yeah, definitely. Wow, that sounds awesome. So I bet like, which we’re going to talk about today, I bet you have a lot of wedding horror stories. I’m sure you have good and bad stories. Yes. we always talk about, I always make sure, and I’m sure you have to say this with your People on your channel as well as like there are so many amazing wedding stories. I get some comments Sometimes it’ll be like, oh, thank god Like I saw this because I never want to get married and i’m just like no I don’t want my channel to like make you not want to get married or have a wedding because there’s like so many drama free Weddings, but the drama ones just really heighten when they’re so crazy,
Cassie Horrell: right?
And I feel like i’m the same way I go on my channel like every so Often, and I’m like, hey, just a reminder. A lot of the stories are dramatized and bad things do not happen at every wedding. Every single wedding has the happy moments. It has these beautiful moments, and none of the stories I tell, I never want them to veer somebody from getting married. Like, obviously, I’m in the wedding industry, as you are. Like, we love weddings. we like to see the big weddings. And I see a lot of people like, I’m eloping because of this. And I’m like, please don’t jump to that conclusion. These stories just like, I feel like our audience thrives on them and it gives them a little bit of drama in their day. So that’s why it’s fun to post and connect with people.
Christa Innis: Yeah, absolutely. And I think the other side of it too is like, teaching people like, boundaries to have. Like, some of the conversations that you post is like, it’s helping someone on whether they’re like, quote unquote villain of the story or quote unquote like, protagonist.
Like, seeing these like, conversations take place can help. I’m know what to say in certain situations or how to set boundaries with someone that maybe is overbearing.
Cassie Horrell: Exactly. And I get a lot of people, I know your channel does too, where people will say, oh my gosh, I’m the mom in this situation. Or I need to say this to my mom, I need to say this to my sister, because it puts into perspective that other people are going through a similar situation or something that’s pretty applicable.
And how we are responding shows them how they could respond.
Christa Innis: Yeah, absolutely. So jumping into kind of crazy stories and wedding hot takes, what is like one of the craziest stories that comes to mind when you’re asked about it?
The Wedding Planner Who Walked Great Grandma… Or Did She?
Cassie Horrell: so this one, it’s one of the funnier ones, but it’s a little bit heartfelt.
And I have shared it on my page two different times. but I had a couple that was just, Like elite vibes, you know when you like bond with a couple everybody in the family is like so fun There was zero drama. So I go into the wedding weekend and we run rehearsal. Everything’s great The next day I check in on the couples we had where I was working at the time. There was like two Villas so one for the ladies one for the gentleman check it with the ladies. Everything’s good I check in with the gentleman and they all the sudden are like, oh my gosh We forgot to tell you our great grandma Has to be in the wedding ceremony and I’m like, oh my goodness, like, I can’t believe we didn’t go over this.
So I logistically go into planner mode, like, what song does she want to walk to? Does she need an escort? Is there a walker or a wheelchair? Where are we reserving her a spot? And they’re like, yeah, we’d love if you would walk her down the aisle and as long as she has a seat in the front row, that’s all good. So me, I’m like, great. Just let me know when grandma gets here and I’m looking around like no grandma in sight. And one of the groomsmen, who was the brother, is like, Hey, Grandma’s already here. I already have her. And I’m like, Oh, well, do you need me to go get a wheelchair to, like, pick her up? And he’s like, No, let me go grab her.
And brings out a Tupperware container of her remains. And, like, they have, they have drawn, like, this little smiley face on it. And me, like, I was just surprised, like, whatever, if that’s what your family does, and like, this is how you bring great grandma to things. And they just hand her over to me, like, yeah, here she is, like, if you don’t mind, like, before it starts, walking her down and, like, putting her on the chair so her face is facing us. And I’m like, her face? A joke? So, I literally have this little Tupperware container that I’m, like, walking down before the real processional starts. I place her on the chair, like, make sure the little Sharpie face that they drew on there is, like, facing front. And to me, I found it, like, hilarious, but also, like, a little sentimental and special, like, this is how their family’s, like, including their great grandma, and they told me after that their great grandma has been to, like, all the cousins weddings, she comes to the holidays, and it’s, like, kind of a joke, but also not, and to me, that was, like, One of those crazy stories that you like go into a wedding day and you don’t Expect for that to happen and you just kind of got to go with it and keep everything light hearted So yeah, that’s one that I share quite frequently because it’s not too drama filled but just a little surprising.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh Because it’s like one of those things where I think They probably got so used to in their own family, just saying, Oh, great grandma, bring great grandma, but forgot to mention to you, like, great grandma’s ashes. Like, you know, so you’re expecting this, like, person and they just were like, let’s see what she, how she reacts to that.
Cassie Horrell: Yeah. And like, luckily I’m very, like, go with the flow. So I was just like, okay, great grandma’s going to hang out with me for the next hour. I’ll make sure she gets down the aisle.
Christa Innis: Oh, my gosh. Okay. So kind of going into that, but I want to talk about wedding hot takes and I kind of want to angle it a little bit differently since you’re so involved in the wedding industry.
Cassie Horrell: Okay.
Christa Innis: This first one’s about a guest or someone wearing white to the wedding. How would you handle that? And like, what are your own takes on when someone tries to wear white to a wedding?
Wearing White to a Wedding: Just Don’t
Cassie Horrell: Okay. My own personal take is absolutely not. We are not wearing white to a wedding. Only reason you should be wearing white to a wedding is if the couple, like, specifies, hey, the dress code is all white. Because there are weddings that do that. And I think in that case, of course. But if it has not been specified to wear white, it is reserved for the bride, typically. I have had brides get married in blue. I’ve had brides get married in black, but typically, if you’re going to take a bet on something, most likely the bride is wearing a shade of white.
So, personally, that is my take. I have only had this happen twice, where I’ve had people arrive to a wedding and they are wearing white. one time it was a child that was like a guest, maybe like middle aged school age. So I didn’t really think that was an issue. It didn’t become an issue. But there was another time where a girl was literally wearing a white dress. It had like very teeny weenie tints of like blush flowers, like very light, looked white. And in this case, I basically went to one of the bridesmaids. And I said, how do you think the bride is going to react to her wearing white?
And the bridesmaid was like, she needs to change. So I approached the guest, and I’ve actually done a, I did a story on this on my page. Approached the guest and I just let her know, Somebody in the wedding party has noticed the white dress. Do you have any change of clothes? Are you coming from out of town? Luckily, she was like, I thought people might think this was too white. Which I’m like, did you look in the mirror? She was staying at the hotel that was like a mile away. She had arrived at least 20 minutes before the ceremony. So she’s like, I will go back now. I’ll change. She actually ended up not making it back for the ceremony.
And she was there at cocktail hour in a purple dress. So to me, if. Someone wears white and I’m not sure how the couple would respond. Maybe we haven’t chatted about it. I will approach somebody that’s close to the bride. mom, sister, I typically don’t like to bother the bride with it. and if they think they need to change, I have no problem. Approaching somebody letting them know.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. That was handled so well, because it’s like, you never know how that person’s gonna react either. but yeah, like, PSA is like, if you think it’s too white, or when you’re looking in the mirror getting ready, and you’re like, mm, no people think it, then it probably is too white.
Cassie Horrell: Yes. If it crosses your mind, is this too white, or you’re texting a group chat, do we think this is too, has too much white in it, then like, just put it back on, in your closet and wear it another day.
Christa Innis: Yeah, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Okay. What are your thoughts on the bride and groom seeing each other before walking down the ceremony, like doing a first look as opposed to at the end of the altar?
First Look vs. Aisle Moment: The Ultimate Wedding Debate
Cassie Horrell: So, as a professional, I’m a huge fan of the first look. Just logistically, it makes your couple’s day, I think, a little bit more relaxed, not as rushed. obviously, you can get all those pictures before. And if I know my couples are super emotional, I sometimes recommend that because it takes the pressure off of, like, having that moment when you walk down the aisle.
So, personally, as a or as a professional, I would 100 percent say first look. Now, personally, I am a sucker for, like, the traditional, see each other when you walk down the aisle. That is what I did with my husband, but I do have to say we were both like happy crying the whole wedding because it was so overwhelming. And that is one of the reasons that I’m like, man, if I went back in time, I might have done a first look.
Christa Innis: but
Cassie Horrell: that was like eight years ago. So I’m like, first looks were not as popular then.
Christa Innis: Right, right. That’s so funny. That’s like such a, that’s like the very common thing I hear. It’s like, Logistically, when people are like planners or they work behind the scenes, they’re like, yes, do a first look.
But for brides themselves, a lot of times they’re like, no, I love that, like, moment because I was the same way. Like, I loved having that first moment down the aisle. But I’ve been a part of so many weddings where they did a first look, so. It’s kind of interesting to see, um, do you have any wedding hot takes or unpopular opinions that you can think of far off the bat?
Otherwise, we’ll jump into a section called unpopular opinions from other people.
Why Open Seating at a Formal Wedding is a Nightmare
Cassie Horrell: Okay, well, one opinion that I always share very frequently on my page and it always is like I get so many like comments is I do not believe a formal wedding. has, should have open seating. Like, absolutely not. It should be organized seating.
I don’t care if you’re doing seating assignments or table assignments. Open seating at a formal wedding is just not it. And I always talk about like the repercussions of choosing that and people in the comments are like Oh, I did open seating for my 300 person wedding. It was no problem. And I was like, you probably just didn’t see it cause it was your wedding day. But when I tell you there’s repercussions to that choice, there totally is. So that is like my number one opinion that I have on seating.
Christa Innis: Yes. No, I love that. I, I’m such a planner myself, type a, I love a good seating chart. Like nothing makes me happier than being as a guest and on the other side of things.
I love being told where to sat, where to sit because, It kind of brings back like, Oh, we have enough room or, Oh, I don’t know anybody at this wedding. So where are my husband and I, or where am I going to squeeze in and it’s just makes things less awkward if you’re like, you know what, that’s my seat. Don’t need to think about it.
Cassie Horrell: Yeah, literally from like a timeline standpoint. Guest comfortability and then even the host comfortability, knowing everybody will be taken care of. It’s the best route to go.
Christa Innis: Yes. And I loved, I don’t know about you at your own wedding, but I loved putting together the seating chart of like, Oh, this person would get along with that person, but I’m going to put them here.
And like, my husband would laugh at me because I had so much fun. Like every night I’d be like, okay, I think I need to move these people. He’s like, it looks good. I’m like, well, how about this and this? And like, I loved like. The final, like, I don’t know. It was so much fun for me to put together.
Cassie Horrell: Yeah. Me and my husband got married.
We were 23, 24. So like pretty young. So I felt a little bit like matchmaker. Cause like we were invited a lot of our single friends after college. Oh, we could sit these people together and these people together. Uh, but no, that’s definitely a fun part of it.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. I love that. Okay. So here’s some unpopular opinions that people sent me on Instagram.
So let’s kind of see what they had to say. Um, this person says. Take. Okay. Take wedding parties, individual budget into consideration when planning wedding events. What are your thoughts on that?
Cassie Horrell: Make wedding parties, individual budgets. Okay. So when I, if you’re in the wedding party, I am on board. I do have to agree.
I am on board with like getting a general sense of like where people are at monetarily. Usually in a wedding party, like people are all over in their life. Like some people may have kids. Some people may be in eight weddings that year. So I do think it’s important to kind of get a general sense of what people can spend when it comes to like bachelorette.
And those types of things. I think when it comes to the actual wedding, no, um, that should be up to the couple. Um, when it comes to attire, you 100 percent should keep in mind people’s budget, especially if they’re buying all of their own things. If the bride or groom are paying for wedding party things, then I don’t think it truly matters.
Um, but yeah, I am on board on that for the most part.
Christa Innis: Yeah. And I think too, an important thing to say is like, It should never be a requirement. Like, if someone wants to be in your wedding, like, but they’re like, I can’t make it to the bachelorette party, it’s out of my budget, it’s okay to say no to those things.
Because I see so many times in comments like, oh, the bride’s selfish for wanting to do a bachelorette party trip to Florida or wherever it is. And it’s like, but as a bridesmaid, you have the free will to say No, like, I will be in your wedding, but I can’t afford this. Um, so it definitely goes both ways for sure.
Yes. Um, this person says, Her unpopular opinion is doing something for tradition’s sake is unnecessary, i. e. the bouquet toss and garter toss.
Cassie Horrell: I agree with that one as well. Um, I feel regardless of the tradition, the couple should always be choosing things that make the most sense for them and their partner and, like, are going to enhance their day.
And if you are getting forced to do a cake cutting, the guard, or the bouquet, and you don’t want to do it, like, it’s the worst thing. Like, nobody should be forcing you to do anything on your day just because it’s tradition or mom did it, dad did it. Um, and I always tell people that there is no Nothing is mandatory at a wedding when it comes to the formalities.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I love that. Yeah, I feel like so many times people fall into the trap of like, well, they did it so I have to do it too. Or this is like what’s expected of me. And I feel like when you start going that way, then you either have regrets about your wedding or you’re uncomfortable on your own wedding day.
Right? Yeah, I totally agree. Okay, I want to jump into this week’s wedding submission because it’s a little. A little long. Um, so here we go. I’ve not read this, so we’ll see how this, how this one goes. Um, and feel free to stop me anytime if you want to add something or react to it. We’ll just kind of react as it goes.
The Monster-in-Law Who Tried to Take Over the Wedding
Cassie Horrell: Let me pull up on my screen here and make sure I can see it all. Okay. When my husband and I met online, or sorry, when my husband and I met, it was online. I knew before I ever met him, it was. He, in person, he was the man I was going to marry. We talked for a long time via messages and FaceTime before ever meeting.
We met and it wasn’t long before he had hinted that he was going to propose to me. It finally happened a week before one of my closest friends was to be married. So I kept the news to myself until we got through that and then I announced it, which props to her. That’s very nice.
Cassie Horrell: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Um, my, my parents had already knew it was going to happen.
As he sat down and spoke with them, my older brother also knew it was coming as well. I guess he had covered all the bases with my family about asking me to marry him, but he hadn’t said anything to his family at all. Which What? Interesting. Excuse me? Yeah. When we announced that we were engaged on Facebook, oh gosh, everyone seemed very happy about it.
Then I started to see angry faces and a lot of negative comments. My mother in law commented saying, how effing, the actual word, effing dare you announce this without asking my permission first? Oh, not on a public face.
Cassie Horrell: This is terrible.
Christa Innis: So bad. Uh, then it only got worse from there. She proceeded to call me names and tell me that I wasn’t good enough to marry her son.
Oh my gosh. Uh, all while she was commenting, my sister in law was commenting and yelling, Oh, calling and yelling at him about how they should have had a family meeting about allowing a woman with kids into the family.
Cassie Horrell: What?
Christa Innis: I felt sick and unwanted. That is terrible. Family meeting.
Cassie Horrell: No.
Christa Innis: Oh, my gosh.
Eventually we get to planning the wedding and his mom had made it very clear that she did not want any part of helping plan the wedding. We tried to include her many times, but she would just keep saying rude things about how my wedding didn’t need to be the center of every conversation. So my husband is from a really small town and we went there for the Fourth of July.
This was the first time I would be meeting his dad and step mom, his brother and sister. Yes, the same sister that was calling and yelling at him. It was a good time, and they were very interested in all the things that we had planned for the wedding. Okay, so it seems like some family member was like,
Cassie Horrell: this is turning around.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Cassie Horrell: Maybe.
Christa Innis: Maybe. His dad told us that we had an allotted amount of money to use, and that if he needed anything beyond that, um, his mom would have to help us. So his ex, the dad’s ex wife. Um, so it was the day we went dress shopping and because we had so many bridesmaids, the place was a full house.
Everyone was having the best time. Then we felt a shift in the energy and my mother in law walked in just the gray clouds.
Cassie Horrell: Here we go.
Christa Innis: She was extremely upset that no one picked her. Picked her up to bring her to the bridal shop. She sat down and shouted, Let’s get this thing over with. I don’t want to be here all effing day.
Cassie Horrell: She seems nasty.
Christa Innis: Yeah, why even invite her? Like, I would be like, No, you’re not coming. Cause I wouldn’t even want someone’s opinions like that. My mom looked over at her and asked her to leave then if she didn’t want to be there. Yeah. Then she said, She’s been married before, so I don’t know why she even needs to buy a dress.
Cassie Horrell: That is terrible.
Christa Innis: I hate that. She could have gotten one at Goodwill.
Cassie Horrell: No.
Christa Innis: Okay, that is terrible.
Cassie Horrell: This lady’s a witch.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I ignored the comments and started trying on dresses. There wasn’t a dress I tried on that she didn’t have a rude comment about. I would be telling her to leave at that point. That is, yeah, that’s so like unenjoyable.
I finally found the one and loved it and it made me happy. Later that evening at dinner, she tells my husband. I found the dress that hides my arm flab the best.
Cassie Horrell: No, this is bad. I don’t know who this woman is, but this is bad.
Christa Innis: This is bad. This is like one of the worst stories I’ve read. Oh my gosh. The night of my rehearsal, my mother in law sat there complaining the whole time how she had to sit at the same table as my father in law.
She kept saying he better not talk to me. Then finally my brother in law shows up late and my mother in law demanded that I allow my brother in law’s wife in the wedding as a bridesmaid.
Cassie Horrell: Excuse me?
Christa Innis: At the rehearsal dinner? Okay. She was supposed to be my bridesmaid and then they broke up and I guess they got back together the week of the wedding.
Surprise. Okay. They called me many times that week and never said anything about it so I was a little taken aback by this. My mother in law told me that she was told to bring the dress and that she would make me let her be in the wedding again.
Cassie Horrell: This is the mother in law said that again said that the
Christa Innis: oh told me to bring her dress with and she and to make her bring.
Okay. Wait, I need to say that again. Sorry.
Cassie Horrell: I’m like, wait,
Christa Innis: my mother in law told me that she told her to bring the dress with her and that she would make me let her be in the wedding again.
Cassie Horrell: Okay. So force this girl into the wedding.
Christa Innis: Yeah. And make her and make my other bridesmaids sit out. Wait, so that’s even worse. Like, we’re just going to swap you right in there.
Cassie Horrell: This is terrible.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. I told her I wouldn’t allow my other bridesmaid who paid money for the dress to sit out and they would both have to walk down the aisle together. That didn’t make her happy and she told me to just tell my bridesmaid that we would reimburse her for the dress and she could sit down and enjoy herself. I again told her absolutely not. She got upset and called me a spoiled witch. I
Cassie Horrell: I’m a little taken back by this woman.
Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s hard because it’s like I’m not in that position, so it’s always different when you’re in it, but I’m just like, I could not stand to be around someone like that that’s constantly mean like that and just like trying to control everything.
Cassie Horrell: Also, I’m a little confused. Like, why isn’t the partner standing up to his mom or like being a little bit more supportive here? Because it wasn’t like one instance. This is like 20 instances.
Christa Innis: Yes. Like he needs to be like. Like, guarded security at this point, like, blocking her, because yeah, that’s, that’s too much.
We finally get to the rehearsal, we finally get the rehearsal done and everyone left to go to my brother’s house where we were gonna have pizza. My sister in law made rude comments about how we could only afford pizza and not a real meal.
Cassie Horrell: Oh
Christa Innis: no. Let me tell you, we had pizza at our rehearsal dinner and it was still expensive.
Everyone loves pizza. There’s no problem with pizza. Exactly. No one complained. At least not to our face. Um, My parents shelled out over a thousand dollars for this meal. It’s what we chose as it feeds the most. And it was easy as my husband was having his bachelor party the night before the wedding.
Cassie Horrell: Yikes. Sewing
Christa Innis: scrims, man. Yeah. No, I don’t know if people still did that. Yeah, no, no,
Cassie Horrell: no.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Um, uh, yeah, so he had his bachelor party. It was a terrible idea, by the way. But that’s a story for another day. So we all had pizza and us girls all left. We told my mother in law three times before we left what time our hair and makeup appointment was the next morning. And we were almost done when she and my brother in law’s wife showed up to get ready. She said, how dare I get ready before the mother of The groom. What? I cannot believe the audacity here.
Cassie Horrell: Yeah, she’s out of line. Yeah.
Christa Innis: When everyone was ready to go to the ballroom and get ready for pictures, she was mad that we were leaving her. Well, you should have been there on time.
Cassie Horrell: Yeah.
Christa Innis: We were on a strict time frame. We told her that my sister in law needed to be there by a certain time for pictures. She never got there in time for pictures and it snowballed from there. My mother in law ruined our first look, not surprised, by accidentally getting mud all over the bottom of my dress. Oh. Accidentally. Yeah, how did that happen? She wouldn’t smile in any pictures. Oh my gosh. Um, so later that night I heard someone say that my mother in law was telling everyone that my wedding was unclassy and tacky. And that clearly we didn’t have any money to buy real things. Why do people feel the need to make comments like that?
Cassie Horrell: Right, keep it to yourself.
Christa Innis: Yeah, like, come on. Oh, and yes, then the arm, arm flab comet came up again that night. I’d slap her. I’d slap her. Oh my gosh, that is terrible. Like, never, never comment on someone’s body, but especially not a bride on her wedding day. Exactly. Like, that is not okay. And that night she walked by and pinched my arm and said, You should really work on that. It’s gross.
Cassie Horrell: No. This could be like a whole series. This is like the series of Unfortunate Mother in Law. I don’t know what this is.
Christa Innis: Literally, I’m like picturing like, uh, I don’t even know, like, what’s that movie? Like, Monster in Law? It’s like literally something like that. Like, if someone did that to me, I would literally be like, you can leave right now. But I would’ve, I feel like I would’ve said that so many times. I don’t know. Same. Um, I wish I could have made that up, but I didn’t. My mother in law to this day is still not a nice woman, doesn’t speak to me, my brother in law is not married to that woman anymore, and my father in law is still the coolest. Well, at least the father in law is cool. Here’s to 10 years and crazy in laws.
Cassie Horrell: Wow. I can’t believe she put up with that on her wedding day.
Christa Innis: I, yeah, I feel like once I saw those like rude Facebook comments, I would be like, okay, we need to fix this now or you’re not invited to anything because like the wedding dress thing, I would not want to put on and try wedding dresses in front of someone like that.
Cassie Horrell: No, I mean, I did dress shopping with just me and my mom and it was like perfect because it was like little opinion and like I could really try it on. I can’t imagine like having my whole wedding party, my mom, mother in law, especially somebody that like, You get the vibes. They don’t like you. It’s like they’re trying to sabotage your whole experience, which is what this woman did.
Christa Innis: Exactly. Yeah. And like kind of going back to when people are like, Oh, these stories make me never want to get married or something. It’s like someone like this. You have red flags ahead of time. Like you’re not going to just also have a you. Um, wedding dress shop and the person that’s been so nice to you is always going to be like, Oh, that looks terrible, you know, like, so I think a lot of times you’ll have those red flags about people. And if you don’t, I don’t think it’s going to automatically just change.
Cassie Horrell: Right. I think the thing that just like surprises me about the story is that the husband was seeing this happen and like she doesn’t share the husband might have had conversations with his mom like she didn’t share that part of it but I’m like, that truly shocks me that like he would allow.
His mom to speak to his wife like that and I’m like, I just I can’t imagine that happened Like you said like we’re not in that in the situation. You’re reading it from a one sided story But like that’s what shocks me. The most is that like they let her get away with it
Christa Innis: Right. Well, yeah, and it’s and I find it interesting She says and she doesn’t speak to me which makes me think she still speaks to the Sun which And I, again, don’t want to make assumptions, but if I was being treated that way, and my husband was still talking to his mom, I would be like, no.
Like, you need to back up your wife. Right. So, it sounds like she’s, like, still talking to The son, but just not the wife and the wife, like the brother’s like wife so much and she was like trying to pull her in. I’m like, what’s the difference? Like, wow,
Cassie Horrell: and they’re not even married anymore. So it looks like the son picked a very great partner. We’re like, the other son didn’t have as great of a match. So that’s a little weird too.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. I feel like when I hear these stories, it has to do with like some kind of like jealousy or like appearances or like, like she wants to look a certain way. I don’t know. Yeah.
Cassie Horrell: That’s it always surprises me because like I have the world’s best mother in law that she’s just like an angel and like Our families get along, and there’s just like never really issues, and in the planning process it was like so easy, so when I hear these stories, I’m like, I can’t believe someone would act like that, or like, treat somebody like that, especially in like, the era of being engaged and planning your wedding, like it’s such a sentimental time, and something that you think about like for the rest of your life, and like for somebody to ruin it, because of their poor attitude, I’m like, how unfortunate, Is that that happens to people.
Christa Innis: I know. I know. It’s so funny because when I post these stories, people always assume it’s because, I have a terrible mother in law too. And I’m like, no, my mother in law is amazing. Like, like I could call her up any time of the day. She’s so sweet. Like we get along great. Our family’s going on great. And so then when I hear these stories, I’m like, I could not imagine having to, like, feel like you have to, like, walk on tiptoes, or get super anxious when you have to go see his family or something, like, That’s terrifying.
Cassie Horrell: Yeah. And like, I’m sure you get this in your comments as well, but I am also sometimes surprised by how many people are like, I have this, like, this is the situation I’m in with in laws. And I’m like, hundreds and hundreds of people that like can relate to that. I’m like, that is shocking to me.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
And even when I dramatize things, like, and I’m like, Oh, this is like a really crazy character. I’ll do this. And someone will comment and they’re like, That’s almost word for word how my mother in law talks to me. And I’m like, girl, I’m so sorry. Yeah. Because I’m also someone like I hate confrontation. I’m so bad with stuff like that. So when I hear this stuff, I’m like, my stomach drops. I’m like, how do you deal with that? I would not be able to.
Cassie Horrell: No, no.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Well, that was a good story. Bad story, but a good, great,
Cassie Horrell: great story. A great story with a lot of drama.
Christa Innis: Yes. I’m very sorry for this, Bri, but thank you for sharing your story with us and I’m glad you, sounds like you’ve set up some boundaries. Where you don’t talk to her, but let’s get that husband on side. Yeah. Okay, so to end, I’m just gonna read a couple of confessions that people sent to me. People are sending me confessions on Instagram as well. I love
Cassie Horrell: this.
The Nine-Hour Road Trip Request: Mother-in-Law Madness
Christa Innis: And then we’ll just share, our takes on them. Okay. I was having some guests before kind of rate them as like mild tea or chaos, but it’s kind of more fun just to kind of react to them. okay. So this one says. My mother in law wanted us to travel nine and a half hours to her while I’m 36 weeks pregnant.
Cassie Horrell: No, absolutely not. I have two kids. No. Nope, nope, nope.
Christa Innis: Same. Yeah, I’d be like, no, thank you. I barely wanted to travel, like, to the store when I was 36 weeks pregnant,
Cassie Horrell: so. Yeah, and you can’t, like, you would have to drive. You can’t even get on a plane at that time. Exactly. Like, you would have to drive there, and like, how uncomfortable, and what if something happens, and you’re nine and a half hours from home, like, that’s where you have to go to have your baby. Those aren’t your doctors. Crazy. That’s crazy. Yeah.
Christa Innis: Like, you can come to me if you really want to.
Cassie Horrell: Exactly.
Christa Innis: This person says the bride and groom shouldn’t set invites to family members who they don’t have a relationship with.
Cassie Horrell: Now, I’m like, I’m pro that. Like, I kind of support that. I’m always like, and I see it from the other side, like, just because your family doesn’t entitle you to an invitation, I do.
I think that if you are curating a guest list that is like, you want to be surrounded by people that are supportive of you, involved in your life, then like, why are you sending invitations to your fourth cousins that you’ve never met?
Christa Innis: It can look
Cassie Horrell: a little bit like a money grab, but then I also see it on the other side, where I’m like, people just have big families, they’re not close with everybody.
that doesn’t mean they don’t want to come and support the couple.
Christa Innis: So.
Cassie Horrell: I see it both ways.
Christa Innis: I know. I know. It’s hard. It’s like, I feel like traditionally it was like, invite everybody that like, your parents, friends, your parents, second cousins and stuff. But now I feel like people are getting better about, okay, well, what can we fit in our budget? or do we want to be surrounded by people that we personally know? And I think it just goes down to like, as the bride and groom, what do you two want and go from there? I guess that was more of like a. Opinion, Alyssa Confession. Okay, this last one, at my oldest brother’s wedding, my cousins and I secretly bet on how long it would last.
Betting on the Marriage: Wedding Guests Gone Too Far
Cassie Horrell: I think that’s a little bit funny, but also I’m like, hopefully your cousin’s picking like a good imagine you would wish for a lifetime of happiness. But I’ve had friends in this situation where like I go to the wedding and I’m like, I don’t know if this is it for them. In the back of my mind, I don’t say it out loud, right.
It’s in the back of my mind.
Christa Innis: I know, that is a little bit of a hot take there of like going, but I mean I’m sure like it’s, you kind of think about it because you’re at a wedding and you’re like okay, here’s to like forever. I’ve definitely been to a wedding and Spoiler alert, they did get in a divorce, and I’m not friends with the girl, not because of that, but it’s a whole other thing, but at the wedding I was like, this is doomed, and I hate to say that, because never thought that other than this wedding, I was like, this is, or no, I’m sorry, there’s been two, and they both I have
Cassie Horrell: two.
And so did mine. They ended in a divorce or separation. So I’m like
Christa Innis: Well, and they both, both of them had red flags before. Like, literally, the bride was crying to us at her bachelorette party. And we were like, if you need to get out, like, tell us what you need. Like, we’ll help you. No, no, no. It’s fine. Day before the wedding, after the rehearsal dinner, sobbing in the car. I don’t want to do this. We already spent so much money.
Cassie Horrell: And that happens, like, there is people that that happens to, like, they go through with it because they feel like their parents or themselves or whoever’s contributing have already paid all of this money and it’s like, we don’t want to cancel it, like, but at the end of the day, it’s like, it’s canceling your wedding because you know, it’s not the right match better than a divorce one year later.
Christa Innis: Exactly. And that’s going to be costly too, so, just turn it into a big party. Everyone’s traveling in. Have a big party. Exactly. Exactly. I mean, I know it’s easier said than done, but right, definitely. all right. Well, that was the last one. Well, thank you so much for coming on. This was, yeah, this was a blast. can you tell everyone where they can follow you? Any other projects you’re working on and all that good stuff?
Cassie Horrell: Yes. So, you could follow me. Wedding podcasts. I am mainly on TikTok, but I’m starting to branch out. Instagram, I am getting a couple things in the works for YouTube. I do not have it in me to do a podcast, but I love being a guest on the podcast.
So this is amazing . a couple projects I’m working on. So I have created. And a lot of people find me in for this is I’ve created planning courses that are very cost effective for people that are self planning and cannot afford a wedding planner. So I have always offered these to my wedding my way and three to four months till I do, which are specific to like certain timeframes of your wedding.
I am currently working on a membership, which will be like an alternative way of planning where you basically have like a video vault and constant courses and things being uploaded. And I just wrote two children’s books that are specific to, like, Flower Girl and Ring Bear, and about the ABCs of weddings. So, I am in the phase of illustrating those, and hopefully those will come out sometime early 2025.
Christa Innis: Oh, that’s so cool! How awesome. You, like, you do it all. You’ve got a lot of projects. My brain doesn’t stop.
Cassie Horrell: It’s like I have an idea and I’m like, yeah, I’m just going to go for it. have no clue what I’m doing out here.
I’m just having fun and going with the flow.
Christa Innis: I love it. It’s that like planner mindset where you’re just like, okay, let’s just do it. Let’s get busy and find something. I love that. well, when those are available, definitely send me links and stuff and we can get it in the show notes. Well, thank you so much for coming on.
That was so fun having you react. Like I said, had some people tag you in like comments and stuff and now I follow your stuff and I like I love your content because you’re so involved in the wedding stuff that you’ve got stories for days so yeah
Cassie Horrell: but I feel like we have a very similar audience because we’re storytellers and like my whole page isn’t storytelling but Usually one a day, I try to tell stories and I get the same, like, people will be like, Did you see her story? And they’ll tag me, and I’m like, Oh, I saw it. That’s a juicy one. Yes.
Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s so good. I, can’t stop watching the, drama stories. They just, those ones just get me. Like, I love it.
Cassie Horrell: I feel like they’re like, a little bit of, like, reprieve from people’s everyday life.
Like, they come and they watch our stories, and it’s like, a minute and a half of like, totally Drama that they’re not in.
Christa Innis: Yes. And they get
Cassie Horrell: their little fix for the day, and then they’re like, Okay, I’ll come back tomorrow, like, see the next part, or whatever’s going on.
Christa Innis: Yes, yeah, it’s a good little, little break from reality, I think.
Yes. Awesome. Well, thank you so much again for coming on. It was awesome chatting with you. Thank you so much.
All right, guys, that was my interview with Cassie. I love chatting with her. It’s so fun to hear from someone that is so involved in the wedding industry. She’s got a lot of hot takes and she has. Honestly seen it all. So, thank you, Cassie, for coming on. Just a reminder, guys, if you love this episode or loving this podcast, please leave a review on Apple podcast.
It really helps more people hear the podcast. And helps me create more amazing content for you. so I really appreciate all the support that this podcast has gotten so far, and I can’t wait for more people to hear it and to create some more content. If you also have suggestions of who you want to see next on the podcast, feel free to send me an email, send me some submissions.
I cannot wait to share more stories with more people. All right, guys, thanks so much for tuning in and I will see you next time.
Drunk Groomsmen, Wedding Nightmares & the Crazy Faux Pas with Krysta Hofmeyer
What happens when a groomsman shows up wasted before the ceremony, a maid of honor hijacks a wedding speech with politics, and a mother-in-law makes everything about herself?
Absolute chaos. In this episode, Christa and Krysta dive into jaw-dropping wedding drama, viral moments, and astrology’s role in wedding personalities. From boundary-setting with difficult family members to why some people just have to make the big day about them, we’re spilling all the tea. Plus, we debate the most overrated wedding trends and read the wildest listener confessions.
Get ready for a rollercoaster of wedding mayhem!
Episode Chapter Markers
00:00 Introduction
06:11 Astrology & Wedding Personalities
09:11 The Drunk Groomsman Who Called 911 On Himself
14:11 When Wedding Guests Steal the Spotlight
21:44 The Most Overused Wedding Speech Joke Ever
26:14 Viral Wedding Moments & Social Media Pressure
31:44 Toxic Mother-in-Law Takes Over the Wedding
37:16 Wedding Boundaries & People-Pleasing Lessons
40:46 Wedding Confessions: The Most Cringe Moments
Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments
- The Drunk Groomsman Disaster – A groomsman arrives plastered before the ceremony, harasses the staff, and then causes a full-blown medical emergency—only to be found passed out in the bathroom.
- When Wedding Guests Steal the Spotlight – From over-the-top speeches to wearing white, Christa and Krysta break down why some guests just have to make it about them.
- The Most Overused Wedding Speech Joke – If you’re making a toast, please—for the love of weddings—don’t use this one-liner.
- Social Media’s Influence on Weddings – The pressure to create a “viral moment” is real. But is it ruining the authenticity of weddings?
- The Ultimate Mother-in-Law Meltdown – A mother-in-law sabotages the wedding, takes money from the bride, and pulls the ultimate victim move.
- Wedding Boundaries & The Power of Saying No – Christa and Krysta share their experiences with setting boundaries and why people-pleasers struggle at weddings.
Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode
- “If you know you can’t handle your liquor, don’t drink before the wedding. Just don’t.” – Christa Innis
- “We all love a good joke, but maybe don’t use your wedding vows to trash your partner?” – Christa Innis
- “People-pleasers get to a point where they just snap. And honestly? Good for them.” – Christa Innis
- “Why are people bragging about not preparing their wedding speech? That’s not a flex.” – Krysta Hofmeyer
- “I think some people see weddings as their personal stage instead of a celebration.” – Krysta Hofmeyer
- “The worst part? The groom’s friend caused all this drama… and didn’t even eat the salad.” – Krysta Hofmeyer
- “If you’re fighting your mother-in-law for control of your wedding, that’s a red flag.” – Krysta Hofmeyer
About Krysta
Krysta Hofmeyer is a social media strategist, content creator, and astrology enthusiast with a background in event planning. Currently working in marketing for the nonprofit One Hope United in Chicago, she combines her passion for storytelling with her expertise in branding and digital engagement. A longtime friend of Christa’s, Krysta’s deep love for astrology shines through in her popular TikTok content, where she humorously breaks down zodiac traits, pop culture, and even wedding personalities. With experience bartending and planning weddings—especially during the chaos of COVID—Krysta has seen it all. Her insights on social dynamics, viral wedding moments, and boundary-setting make her the perfect guest for this drama-filled episode.
Follow Krysta Hofmeyer:
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A Team Dklutr Production
Blog Transcript:
Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Christa Innis: Thank you so much for coming on, Krista. I’m so excited to have you here. for those of you that don’t know, Chris and I used to work together a couple years ago now. and your boyfriend and my husband worked together years ago, so it just kind of worked out.
And we always said it was funny that their significant others were both named Krista and both worked in marketing and social media. So, So that was just my long little spiel, but thanks so much for coming on.
Cosmic Connections & Wedding Synchronicities
Krysta: Yeah, I feel like we’ve had, a weird amount of similarities too, like, I always say that about me and you, I feel like both of our names are the same, both of our boyfriend or fiancé at the time was, doing the same thing, knew each other, they both, like, disc golf.
even, weird synchronicities that I remember where, our childhood dog passed away, I don’t know if you remember this, like, within the same week, I feel like there were just, always, synchronicities between the two of us. Which even our love for The Bachelor, just like this very same things that we both enjoyed.
Christa Innis: and I could always get lost in conversation, where like we would start talking about something And people might not understand this, but it’s that like, that indigo, the aura talk, you know, or astrology talk and we would just get like lost in conversation because we’re very similar when it comes to one on one conversation, and so many things have like aligned in our Lifes and families. We each have one brother, one sister, but you have a different way of spelling your name. Mm hmm.
Krysta: Yeah, when I started at the company that we both worked at, I feel like I remember they were introducing me as likethe other Krista, which was kind of funny, or like Krista 2.
I think I wrote on my board, like, welcome Krista number two or whatever. But, yeah, different ways of spelling it, but, just always have had very similarities with you.
Christa Innis: yeah, it’s funny how that works and how, timing worked and now it’s like, I can’t picture my life without you.
We just have so many Storylines to go along with that. So before we dive too far in can you just tell everyone a little bit about you what you do? And then we’ll get into today’s wedding drama.
Krysta: Yeah, Like I said, we both worked in social media marketing and that’s how we originally met each other. So that’s my original kind of like love and background.
I’m still doing it to this day where I work for a nonprofit, it’s in Chicago called one hope United. And we work with like foster kids and getting kids adopted and. Helping families stick together. So I love that aspect of my job too, while tying in still like social media and marketing. and then I think it was about a year ago now, maybe last month, a year ago, last month where you were trying to convince me to start Tik
Christa Innis: TOK,
Krysta: which your Tik TOK was blowing up and you were like, just.
Let’s do it because I have that love for astrology where I bring it up in like every conversation. I’m like that super annoying girl that’s like, Oh, you’re a Virgo or like, you reel it in, but um, astrology. So you helped me start my tick tock, which has been happening for a year now where I talk about like astrology and.
pop culture and just like information and skits about astrology. So doing that a little bit on the side. but other than that, like tying in today, I do have a background in event planning as well before I got into social media and marketing. So I definitely have a lot of stories and that was during COVID too.
So a lot of Yeah. COVID stories and like attending weddings and I bartended weddings and have been in weddings. So
Christa Innis: yeah, guys, Krista is so knowledgeable when it comes to astrology. That was one of the things like I never really understood all of it. And if you’re not into it or you’re rolling your eyes right now, I get it.
We think we’ve all been there at one point and I’m not trying to convince you otherwise, but we would just have conversations about what this might mean or what certain tendencies mean or stuff like that. And I always thought that was so interesting. We could talk about that for hours.
and actually did a skit with Krista. Maybe like a little bit after you started your account or something and, people were showing a lot of interest in what you were doing, but we did a skit showing brides as different signs, and I thought that was pretty fun because, you were so quick to be like, okay, this kind of bride’s gonna be like this, and you just know, like, I’m a Virgo, and I tend to be a perfectionist, and you were like, Brides having stuff in bins and knowing where everything goes and directing people and I was like, yeah, that sounds, about right.
Krysta: Yeah. And when we were working together, you were planning your wedding. And I remember you had like every month planned out. You’re like, well, this month I should have this done. And then next month I should have this. And I feel like. I don’t remember what part it was in your wedding planning journey, but it was at least like a few months beforehand where you’re like, yeah, I have like everything done where like, I feel like a lot of brides are scrambling at the last second. Like, I don’t even think about that. you had everything spreadsheets, like the timing, which I’m so jealous of because I’m not that way whatsoever.
Christa Innis: I think I like, just being in so many weddings, I saw kind of like what, not went wrong, but where people, where brides stressed a lot, and I was like, I don’t want to be the bride that’s stressing all the time, and I will honestly say, I Barely stressed. If I stress it was maybe in the beginning or like random things here and there, but I knew brides that like lost a ton of weight cause they were so stressed or they were just overly like, like they couldn’t focus on anything but their wedding. And I was like, I want to enjoy my engagement too. I don’t want to be overwhelmed.
And so, yeah, I like kind of made it like just like a fun project where I was like, going to sign this off. And, uh, That led me into creating, like, that bridal checklist I have because I’m, like, that makes it easy just to be able to see, like, okay, this month I need to do this thing, and then you can hang out for a couple months, and then this month you gotta do this other big thing, then you can hang out and enjoy it instead of, like, going crazy.
Krysta: Right. Yeah, and I think, too, I’m trying to remember if this was in the skit we did, but I think we’ve talked about it before where, like, certain brides, like, and I think we’ve talked about it before with, like, our friends in weddings, like, I think of an Aquarius bride is very much so, like, I just want to party.
Like, I don’t, I don’t really care. Like, I just want to like get to the dance floor and like have the drinks flowing where like, I think you were talking about your Taurus friend who like, she really cared about like how the food was
Christa Innis: like, she
Krysta: cared like that. That’s like one of the main things she cared about was like how good the food was. Um, the cancer bride’s going to be like crying and things like that. So it is funny, like the synchronicities, even if you don’t believe in astrology, I’m like,
Christa Innis: okay, well things are adding up. Yes. Yeah, no, I totally, totally agree with that. You’ve, you’ve taught me a lot when it comes to, uh, all that kind of stuff. So, um, if people ever want to learn more, they should definitely, uh, follow you on, on TikTok to see your fun little skits and your fun takes on that stuff. So jumping into, you talked about you were a part of event planning, which I think you’re gonna have a lot of stories. What’s probably like one of the craziest stories that you Witnessed as a part of event planning or being at a wedding yourself that you’re like, Oh my gosh, I still can’t believe that happened.
The Drunk Groomsman & The Fake Allergy Emergency
Krysta: I think one of the main ones that come to my head was one of the COVID weddings that I bartended and those weddings were always so chaotic because we were like masked up we were gloved up it was like the summer of COVID so like obviously a lot of the weddings were outside and we had to be like extra cautious but I remember it’s like a typical drunk groomsman story where this happened One of the groomsmen showed up like probably an hour before the ceremony and was already like plastered like visibly very drunk and I’m setting up the bar and he is like trying to get shots from me and I’m like okay well number one like we’re not allowed to do shots number two like the bar is not even set up yet like we’re not open so he was just giving the staff trouble like right from the get go and feeling very entitled and rude um but fast forward to when we’re serving dinner Um, the place that I worked at was an event and catering company.
So we were serving the salad and the salad had nuts on it. And he flipped out because he was apparently like deathly allergic to nuts, but didn’t tell anyone, even though within the process, you know, like on the invite, it’s like, Hey, like, tell us your food, uh, preferences, tell us your allergies. And he never filled anything out or anything.
How are we supposed to know? Right. So he gets the salad and starts screaming at staff in front of everyone, like, causing a scene, like, I could die, I’m gonna sue you guys, like, how dare you, blah, blah, blah. But he wasn’t telling us if he actually took a bite of the salad or not, like, he was refusing to tell us, so.
What? Be cautious. Yeah, he like, I don’t know. He was belligerent. So just to be cautious. I remember one of the other event planners. She called 911 because she was like, well, this guy might be having like an allergic reaction. So the ambulance show up, the police showed up and then he’s like nowhere to be found.
And we’re like, okay, he was found like drunk in the bathroom just passed out and he didn’t even eat the salad.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh, we caused this big stir when he actually didn’t take, take a bite of the salad. He just wanted to like get angry at somebody. It sounds like.
Krysta: Mm hmm. Yeah. I felt so bad. The bride, I think it, so it was the groom’s friend, but like the bride was so embarrassed.
I felt so bad, but yeah, it just sucks when your wedding party like has to do things like that. You know, it’s like, are you making it about you?
Christa Innis: Right. Yeah. Yeah. I was just talking to someone about like, if. You know you can’t handle your liquor. Don’t drink before a wedding, or don’t, like, really limit it, because, like, this day is not about you, and it just sounds like he was more into, like, the party of it, which, I get it, it should be fun, it should be a party, but at the same time, it’s like, if you’re gonna make a fool out of yourself, like, Come on, like, then it just makes it all about you and then to berate staff that’s trying to make this day like magical, you know, it’s like, yeah, it was so chaotic.
Krysta: Yeah, that’s the one that comes to my head where I’m like, yeah, that one was probably the most chaotic that I’ve experienced. Yeah.
Christa Innis: Were you there just like, Oh my gosh, please like calm down.
Krysta: Yeah, luckily I so I was bartending. So I was in the outside bar, but I remember like all the staff were obviously talking about it and a lot of the staff had to get involved.
And then the ambulance showed up and I was like in charge of like trying to find him too. And everyone’s like, he’s gone. Like, we’re like, did he just like run away? Like no one knew where he went.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. That’s. That is insane. Like, the number of, like, drunk groomsmen stories I’ve heard is quite appalling.
Like, um, uh, you know, it’s just like, I feel like it’s just so disrespectful. Like, like, if you, if you know you want to, like, party, have a good time, wait until at least after the ceremony. When you’re, like, kind of off the hook a little bit. If you want to have a couple drinks before, sure. But it’s like, you need to really know your limit and know, okay.
Am I going to be causing a scene? But I think the other thing is like people that act that way. Don’t think about that. They’re like, whatever, it’s fine. It’s the same people that, you know, cause other issues on wedding days. They’re not like, you know what, it’s their day. I’m not going to make it about me.
That’s their last thought. Exactly. Those people are like thinking about themselves first. Like, and most of these issues that we see at weddings, it’s because they’re not like thinking about that. So I don’t know if that’ll help or not. That’s why I like, like to share these skits and hope that people see it and be like, Okay, maybe I should tone it back a little.
Krysta: Yeah, or just like resonate and be like, Oh my God, at least I’m not the only one where like something chaotic happened. Cause I feel like Working with weddings and working in event planning, there’s always something that goes wrong. Like, it’s inevitable. I can think of very little events that I’ve worked where at least one thing hasn’t gone wrong.
But as long as the, like, bride and the groom, for the most part, are, like, chill and, like, go with the flow, it’s, like, normally very small things where it’s, like, don’t let it ruin your day. Like, you’re still, like, this is, you’re marrying the love of your life. Like, that’s what should matter. And don’t let, like, little small things ruin your night.
Christa Innis: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And, and I always say to, I don’t want to like freak people out because for the most part, you’re not going to have some crazy thing like this happen. And like, if you have no, like, you know, bad gut feeling or you’re like, Oh, that person is going to do something. Chances are it’ll be fine.
Like most weddings I’ve gone to and been a part of. There’s no drama. Or if there is, no one else knows about it. It’s kind of behind the scenes, you know, or it’s like something little that happened between two people or something. We just talk about it because it’s like kind of memorable when it does happen because you’re like, whoa, that was crazy.
Um, but yeah, I don’t want to scare people because sometimes I see comments that are like, oh, thank God I’m never getting married or thank God I’m just going to elope or I’m never going to do this because of that. And I’m like, I don’t want to scare people because like so many weddings do not have this drama.
Krysta: Yeah, that’s so true.
Christa Innis: Yeah, so I want to get into just some wedding hot takes. Um, so just to kind of get your opinion on wedding culture. Um, okay. So, the first one is, what is a trend that you are totally overseeing and what would you replace it with?
The Most Overused Wedding Speech Joke—Enough Already!
Krysta: Ooh, that’s a good one. Um, I guess the first thing that comes to my head, and maybe it’s because it’s fresh in my brain right now, because I’m going to be the maid of honor in my sister’s wedding in August of next year, and Speeches are like a big thing for her and her fiance.
Like they’re like, they’ve told me on multiple occasions now, like we really are excited for your speech. Like we hope it’s good. Like it’s our favorite part. I’m like, okay, the pressure, but like I’ll do my best. Um, but I think. Working in weddings too and like seeing and hearing so many speeches, one thing, and this is like probably really irrational of me and no hate to anyone that does this, but I don’t, I hate, there’s this one saying, and I might have already talked to you about this, but where people might just like Google like funny things to put in my speech for my like maid of honor or whatever.
And the one that I heard, I want to say like almost every speech when I was bartending weddings that summer was, I just want to give a toast to my favorite people here, the bartenders. And by the time, like the end of the summer, I was like, Oh my God, if one more person says that I’m going to lose it. Like, it is funny, but to me, I’m just like, okay, let’s be like a little bit more original.
Let’s like be more authentic, but I don’t know. So that’s like one irrational thing where I’m like, That I feel like annoys me at weddings, but I mean replacing it with something I think just Maybe speaking more from your heart and preparing for the speech and telling personal stories because there’s always that one groomsman to that’s like, I didn’t even prepare the speech.
I wrote this on a napkin like five minutes ago. And it’s like, why are you bragging about that? You know, they like think it’s funny and then they ramble on for 10 minutes because they had nothing prepared and they’re just rambling.
Christa Innis: There’s a very small, small, small percentage because I know when I say this, people are going to be like, well, I did it and it was fine.
There’s a very small percentage of people that can just do things like, like wing it. Most people need at least some notes or some preparation, um, because I posted about it before I was like. Rule number one when it comes to speeches, don’t wing it. And someone commented, they’re like, well, I didn’t. It was great.
I’m like, maybe it was for you. Maybe you have that personality. We can just do it. But I think it’s good just have like a basic, like, notes. Like, I mean, me, like, I wrote out the whole thing ahead of time when I had to do it. But, you know, I think that’s a really good example because I’m sure you heard, like, a lot of the same, like, jokes.
And you’re like, okay, they just Googled, like, how to start off funny, you know.
Krysta: Cause I saw this one TikTok recently where it was like a compilation of everyone, but I’m at the same time, like, how else are you supposed to start it with everyone starting off their speech with, um, For those of you who don’t know me.
And it was like a compilation of like everyone saying that, but I’m like, what else? Like, how else are you supposed to start it? I guess like you don’t have to say it. Cause half of the people there probably may not know you because you’re only a part of one part of the groom or the bride.
Christa Innis: Right.
Krysta: I don’t know, but I do think like with social media.
It definitely puts a pressure I feel like and that’s why people may feel like, oh, like I want this viral TikTok moment in my speech where I say this like super funny thing. So it does put like an element of pressure that your speech needs to be super good because there’s like cameras on you, videography, photography, like everything on you.
So, there’s a connection.
Christa Innis: I was just talking to someone about how, like, the, like, social media kind of puts this extra pressure because there’s now, like, videographer companies, which I’m sure, slash, I hope, that they reach out to people first. Like, can I share this on social media? That, like, they’ll share people exchanging their vows and it goes viral.
Sometimes it’s for the right reasons and sometimes it’s for the wrong reasons, you know? Um, I don’t know if you saw this one on TikTok. I don’t know their names or anything. But Basically, the groom’s vows were not very nice about the wife and, um, it was like she kept laughing through it and I think she was very uncomfortable, but they went viral.
And because the wedding company or the videographer company shared it, he was just saying very inappropriate things about like why he finally wants a ball and chain. And you know, like, I guess I decided to give into this, like, it was basically like, Yeah, just being like gross about it. And hers was so adoring of him.
His hers was like, you’re the best husband and father to our two girls. You’re this and that, and his was just putting her down. And so that’s where I’m like, on the other end of it, it’s like, you don’t know what things are gonna be shared. And, um, I mean, that’s a whole other discussion about like vows and stuff.
But when you’re saying something in front of a group of people, you gotta like, Make sure it’s gonna like take off the right way. It’s about the couple. You should be respectful. Like I love a good joke, but don’t do a joke that’s gonna like put them down or like hurt them. Um, I think I was telling you I was at a wedding where the maid of honor said something about her friend wanting to marry for money and And she got him.
And I was like, Oh,
Krysta: God, just silent cricket. I
Christa Innis: was like, No, don’t do it. Um, so yeah, like, let’s like, know your audience a little bit.
Krysta: Yeah. Or like the people that purposely like trying to tell like a really embarrassing story or like try and make fun of them and the bride’s like mortified or just, I think maybe this is from a movie but Where they’re like, Oh, like I remember back in the day when I used to date like the groom or whatever, like if they were in like middle school together or like younger, like back in the day, I
Christa Innis: dated him or like,
Krysta: just, it’s like, don’t bring that up.
Like, yeah, making word.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Like, come on, like, let’s not do that.
Krysta: Yeah. Um,
Secretly Married Before the Wedding—Right or Wrong?
Christa Innis: okay. Let’s go into, I know we kind of talked about that one for a little bit. So let’s jump into, um, a wedding drama. Bates. These are unpopular opinions that people send me on Instagram. So here we go. Um, this first one says getting married four months before the big day and not telling anyone until right before the rehearsal dinner.
Whoa. Popular opinion.
Krysta: So they probably like went to the courthouse or whatever, like by themselves. Is that kind of what you think they’re meaning?
Christa Innis: It sounds like they did like a private wedding, just the two of them. And then they’re just kind of like going along with the wedding planning and then just being like, surprise, we actually are already married.
I think
Krysta: like I’ve heard of that happening multiple, like I think my cousin did that or like a family friend of mine. Also, I’ve heard about doing that before. And I don’t personally understand the reasoning, but like pop off if that’s what you want to do, because maybe to them, it’s like, Oh, this is just like another added special day that we can just like have a memory of just the two of us, because I know a lot of people like on their wedding day, they’re like, I barely spent time with my husband.
Like I was so busy doing other things. And I think that’s why the first look has become super popular too, because. It’s just like an added moment where you get to spend time with your partner during the day.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Krysta: So, I mean, I don’t hate it if that’s what they want to do.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I know, I know a lot of friends of mine that, um, legally got married before their wedding, but we’re talking like a couple years before, and for different reasons, um, But then there were some friends that like I didn’t know until after their wedding like they were like, oh, yeah We’ve already been married seven years and I was like, oh Okay.
Um, and yeah, I think it’s also like people view Marriage and vows differently like for me. I was just like like You know, Zach and I had already been together so many years for like, so for me, it was just like another step and like, like life didn’t feel different for us. I know some people like they don’t move in until they’re married or some people they don’t, you know, everything’s just different.
So for us, it just felt like it’s just another step. Like we, I didn’t feel like different after we got married. But, um, I think like if you want to do that, I think that’s. Your choice. I think it takes the pressure off some people too. Like, we’re already married, so there’s no pressure in the actual ceremony.
Um, but yeah, teach their own. Yeah. Um, this next one says sparkler send offs are awful.
Krysta: So I actually, I feel like I’ve only attended one wedding where there were sparklers. Is that where, like at the very end they run through it and they run through it and it’s kind of like another photo op.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah.
Krysta: Yeah.
Christa Innis: I mean,
Krysta: I don’t hate it.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I think they look really good in photos, honestly. Like I’ve, I think I’ve been a part of like three or four weddings.
I did it and I thought it was really pretty.
Krysta: Yeah. As long as to me, I could. And this can go into like a whole other topic, but like photo ops in general, as long as the couple, isn’t like so focused on, cause I know I’ve dealt with brides before where they were like so focused on like, Oh, like we need this photo op or like, we need to do this trend on Tik TOK or where it like almost takes away from like them just naturally having fun throughout the day.
So if they’re like, stressing out about like, Oh, like I need this photo, then I would say like, don’t stress about those certain photo ops. But like, if it’s just like something that naturally happens where you’re like, okay, like, yeah, that’s time to do the sparkler send off. Like, that’s fine.
Christa Innis: Yeah, totally. I actually liked my candid photos way more than The staged photos.
I shouldn’t say staged, but like the group photos where he does stand there and smile. At first when I was scrolling through them, I was like, they just, I don’t know, the posing to me is just like, not me. The candid ones from Cocktail Hour, or just like, randomly interacting with people, I loved those so much more because they just felt more genuine.
But yeah, I get it, it’s like, that social media thing of like, we have to look this way, let’s do this, and you know.
Krysta: I totally agree and I’ve been taking like some photography classes and stuff. So I’ve been like dipping my toes into photography too. And I always feel like it is the candid ones where they look 10 times better rather than like people posing like super like stiff, awkwardly.
That’s why I’m always like, okay, now like look at each other and laugh or like, look like, look like you like each other. So they’re like leaning more in rather than like, just like. Straight up. So yeah, I totally get it. The candid photos are my favorite.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I feel like it takes the pressure off too because so many, I feel like a lot of times men, and not to generalize, but when you do like engagement photos or something, the guy’s like more nervous about it because they’re like, I don’t want to pose for this, but it’s like, just hang out with your fiance and then I can snap.
But, um, I’m just going from what people have done for. Photos I’ve seen. I’m not a photographer.
The Mother Who Made the Wedding All About Her
Christa Innis: Okay, let’s jump into this week’s wedding submission story. It’s a little long, but it seems like a good one and I’ll try to do my best to read fairly quickly. Okay, for context, my mother and I never had a great relationship, even when I was a child.
She had a lot of issues from her childhood she refused to deal with, along with some mental illness. So for most of my life, she abused substances. By the time I met my now husband, she was sober, but she was incredibly controlling. She didn’t like my husband because he gave me the support to stand for myself.
Okay, that usually happens when someone’s used to taking advantage of someone. She also hated his family because they were nice and helpful with no strings attached. My mom wanted to be the better family without having to do anything, and it made her feel threatened that I was being taken away. On top of that, I was a fresh adult at 19, still had my parents on my bank account, so they would take over, take over half my paycheck.
That’s unheard of.
Krysta: Hello.
Christa Innis: Whoa. And I was still in the process of figuring out how to handle that. Okay. That’s, that’s a lot. She
Krysta: was
Christa Innis: 19. Yeah. I, other than when I was like a kid, I don’t think I ever had my parents on my bank account.
Krysta: And they weren’t taking half of my paycheck.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Definitely not. Um, I called my mom to tell her my husband and I were getting married and her immediate response was, well, I’m not paying for it.
I didn’t even ask for help. I wanted a congratulations when I told my mother in law separately, she was so excited and said we would just go to the courthouse. Um, and when we said we were just gonna go to the courthouse, she asked if we would mind holding off and she would pay for it so we could watch her oldest, so she could watch her oldest child and first be married, get married.
We agreed. That’s a very nice, respectful way of doing it. Didn’t sound like she wanted to control it, but she wanted to like help and gave her opinion, which I, I thought was really nice. Mhm. Um, I came up with a date, um, that, during holiday, so it would be easier for the family to drive down, since a lot of them were in school.
When telling my mom the date, she freaked out, saying I shouldn’t be catering to them, and I should cater to her instead, because they would be in X town, two hours away, and wouldn’t be able to make it. So, again, just making it all about herself. I reminded her that she and my father lived in an RV and she told me it couldn’t be changed.
My father later told me that he would make it whether or not she wanted to be there. Later on, my mom realized my mother, when my mom realized my mother in law was paying for the small wedding, she said I was icing her out. And all she wanted to do was help.
Krysta: Oh my gosh.
Christa Innis: This just sounds like someone that wants to be a victim.
Yeah.
Krysta: Mm hmm.
Christa Innis: She wanted to buy our champagne glasses and the food, but wanted it to be in her style, not mine. She also then cried to my father about when I picked my wedding dress, so she asked me to let her come pick. I agreed and invited her. The dress I picked was actually a bridesmaid dress that was white with lace, so the price was under 200.
My mom was glowing and taking pictures. Once I said this was my dress, she grinned and told me, well, I’m not paying for this.
Krysta: Oh my god. Here we go again.
Christa Innis: It’s like, you get like two steps forward and then like four steps back.
Krysta: Yeah, literally like a whiplash.
Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s like how can, like she’s like trying to work with her here.
I was frustrated and annoyed, but I was able to buy it myself. Again, I brushed this under the rug while my husband was very angry for me. A week before the wedding, my mom said she wasn’t going to pay for anything anymore, which it doesn’t sound like she agreed to pay for anything at all. Right.
Krysta: Not at all.
Christa Innis: So I don’t know why she keeps, like, stressing, like, I’m not paying for anything. She was,
Krysta: like, dangling it, like, oh, like, maybe I’ll pay for this, and then taking it away once she got angry about something.
Christa Innis: Yeah. It just sounds like that, like, controlling behavior. So my mother in law scrambled for glasses. Oh, it’s the champagne glasses.
She said she wanted to buy in the champagne. The food order had already been placed. Everything. My mother now refused to pay for my mother in law found a way. I still, to this day, do not know if my dad or father in law paid for the food. We did pizza at a pizza shop. I was working at the wedding was incredibly low key.
The wedding happened, we walked from the beach, back to the beach house, and hung out. At some point, my mom fell and ripped open her knee, so half the wedding guests sat around with her the entire night, and catered to her every want and need. Because again, we were around nice people. And my mother in law and stepfather in law pulled my parents aside, and my parents left incredibly fast after that.
I later found out they told my parents they needed to stop asking me for money because I was still a kid and they were established adults. Whoa! Bold!
Krysta: Putting
Christa Innis: them
Krysta: in their place.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Okay, we’ve just stopped at the knee thing. Do you think she really fell or do you think she did it on purpose to get attention?
Krysta: I think, who knows, if either way, like, she knew she was gonna be milking it. Uh huh. Like, maybe she was mid fall and then was like, I’m gonna make it worse than it actually
Christa Innis: is. Yeah, because I’m thinking like, opposite pleasers, we would fall and be like, we would have like a broken leg and just like, hobble.
Krysta: Yeah, blood dripping down our leg. Be like, I’m fine. No one pay attention to me.
Christa Innis: Don’t worry about it. I literally, this is a small side story. One time I was, it was the day before a wedding and they did a bachelorette party. I fell the night before, broke my elbow and I was like, don’t worry about it. My dad didn’t come pick me up.
I went to the hospital. I got a, uh, like a, I don’t know, not an Cast. It wasn’t broken. It was sprained. Did I say broken? Maybe it was sprained. But anyways, and they were like, you don’t have to come. And I was like, no, I’ll be there. Don’t worry. And I’m like still on the dance floor with my little like sling and everything.
Krysta: You were probably like still like helping out with everything, like setting up too.
Christa Innis: I was, and I was like trying to do my makeup and the bride felt so bad and she’s like, I’ll just do your makeup. I’m like, no. Like I don’t. Aw, yeah. It was like a friend from college’s sister’s wedding, so it was like, it was very low key, but that was a side story.
People pleasers, like
Krysta: a Libra Rising. We’re both Libra risings.
Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. Pleaser
Krysta: for core.
Christa Innis: We can’t help
Krysta: it.
Christa Innis: That helped, like when you started talking about that stuff that like helped me really understand myself. That’s why I am the way that I’m, what’d you say?
Krysta: That’s why I am the way that
Christa Innis: I am. Yes. We were rising.
Oh my gosh, to the core. Um, so that’s why when I first read this, I was like, she’s the opposite, which when you read that, when you read someone like this, and I’m sure like the intense or narcissistic, I don’t want to label anybody, but the intense mother in laws or father in law, whatever. Do you see that as like a certain sign or do you see that as like, like a mix of a mix of things? It’s a mix.
Krysta: I feel like it’s definitely a mix and I don’t want to like throw any Zodiac sign under the bus because like every Zodiac sign has their pros and cons, but I’ve seen a pattern with like mother in laws where it could be like maybe like the Aries mother in law is like kind of Aries is the first sign of the Zodiac so they’re a lot about themselves, which is a good and bad at the same time where it’s like they’re very driven Um, it’s the opposite of Libra where like they are very focused on themselves.
The sign Libra is very focused on like other people and how other people perceive them. So I’ve seen where like Aries mother, um, especially at weddings can be like, maybe the more like controlling, like, whoa, is me like victim,
Christa Innis: uh,
Krysta: mentality. So a lot of time I could see it being like a fire sign, which is Aries Sagittarius in Leo.
Christa Innis: Oh, interesting. Oh, yeah, the fire signs, the
Krysta: dramas. The, the, the dramatics. Dramatics,
Christa Innis: yeah. Mm-hmm .
Krysta: And,
Christa Innis: and if you’re in Aries listening, don’t be offended because we have, we did a video where there’s like positives for every . Everyone I know that it’s like, I love Aries. There’s mean Aries listening. That’s like, I’m not that way.
And believe me, like there’s so many like parts to every personality. This is not
Krysta: no. I’m jealous of Aries, if I’m being honest, because I feel like Aries are so good at thinking about themselves where I’m constantly thinking about other people. So I’m like, I’m jealous that you’re able to like stick up for yourself and like not care what other people think where I’m.
In the trenches struggling and can’t sleep at night thinking about like one stupid thing that I said three months ago.
Christa Innis: Yes. Oh my gosh. I know we were just talking about this the other night. Um, because my daughter is an Aries and I read something once where it was like Virgo and Aries or like the people please.
I don’t know if it’s Virgo because I don’t know if that’s my, like, people pleaser side. It’s the Libra. But they, like, people pleasers tend to pair up well with people that are, like, um, more about themselves or, like, know how to spend time with themselves because they’re, like, they admire it. They’re, like, that’s really cool.
You can say no to people. You’ve good boundaries. Oh, my gosh. And, like, when I’ve been working my whole life at setting boundaries and, you know, protecting my peace. And even when I do it and I’m proud of myself, I still think about the other person, like, Are they okay? Mm hmm. Sorry.
Krysta: I feel bad. Yeah. And we’ve probably talked about this before too, but like, I feel like me and you tend to go towards like, like certain types of friends too, or like maybe a friend that is more likely to like stand up and like, um, have your back and like, not care about like what other people think.
Like I tend to like gravitate towards those people because I’m not that way. Yes. So no, I like really admire that, especially about like fire signs where I’m like teaching your ways.
Christa Innis: Yeah, one of my closest friends is really good at just speaking her mind or like standing up for herself. She’s always been really good about boundaries and stuff.
And it’s like, and when we’re together, I’m like. That is really cool. Um, okay, let’s continue this story. I know we’re kind of going a little past time. Um, okay, um, the whole weekend was just a casual celebration and we made everyone aware that they could come over whenever they wanted to hang out since we rented the house for the weekend.
The house was full of my husband’s side of the family and everyone we invited lived in town being in the RV. I got yelled at that night by my mom for not inviting her specifically back over because I apparently made it clear that I had hated her and did not want her around anymore. At that point, I put my phone on you and enjoyed being married.
Good for this ride. Talking about boundaries and just being like, you know what, I’m not going to be pulled under this spell. You know, that people pleaser spell of like, constantly being like, okay, no, it’s okay, I really want you to be here. Like, no, you made it clear you wanted everyone to come if they could.
And so good for her.
Krysta: The bride was probably over it. Like the whole, it seems like the whole, uh, wedding planning experience for her, she was trying to cater to her mom and her mom’s needs and make her mom happy. So I’m glad at the end of the day, she was like, okay, I’m over this block or like mute. Yeah.
I’m going to enjoy my night and not let you ruin my night. Yeah. It sucks. I do feel bad for like her and her mom. Like I, it seems like her mom needs. Like some inner work or needs to like go to therapy or like I, I’m no expert, but it does seem like, yeah, there’s just some like internal things that need to be figured out.
Yeah,
Christa Innis: yeah, definitely. I think they did figure out a lot of, uh, Relationship stuff with the whole bank account thing and trying to take parent or money from her. Um, so, because it sounds like we don’t hear it until, until, um, her in laws talk to the parents that they need to stop asking her for money. So that’s the first time we hear that, like, the in laws have been asking for money.
So they make it clear, we’re not giving you money. Even though they’ve secretly been asking the bride for money all this time and she’s 19 like that’s super young like It’s old enough to you know to be like on your own as an adult I mean, I look back and I’m like, oh my god, I was a child at 19, but you know, everyone’s different and so She’s still a kid in my mind.
And so the fact that they’re taking money from her half her paycheck Is that what it said half her paycheck? That’s insane Like, and so good for her to be like, you know what, I’ve had it. Let me enjoy being married at this point.
Krysta: Yeah. I totally agree. That sucks. I’m glad, like I said, that she was able to set that boundary at the end because I’m sure at that point you’re just like, I’m over it.
I want to enjoy my night.
Christa Innis: Yeah, yeah, totally. I think, I’ve heard this too, it’s with people pleasers. You get to a point, whether it’s with one person or it’s a time in your life where you’re just like, No, I’m blocking everyone out. This is it. Like, you know, that you have that time with like a job, like a boss that was root to you.
Finally, you’re like, you know what, I quit. Or you have enough time with one friend that’s constantly walking all over you. It’s like, you know what, I’m done. So, she might have just been at her breaking point and like, I’ve seen too much. Yeah, for sure. Like, you can only take so much. Yeah, definitely. Okay. So that was a, that was a good story.
Okay. So to end this, I like to do the weekly confessions game where I’m going to read a couple of confessions, um, that people sent me on social media and then you kind of rate them based on, I said, one is mild tea and 10 is like absolute chaos. Or we can kind of just like reply on, on what they said.
Okay. This first one, my mother in law made the entire speech about it. I’m sorry, my maid of honor, gotta get the, uh, facts, my maid of honor made the entire speech about politics.
Krysta: Oh no, Jesus, I thought you were gonna say all about her, because I’ve definitely heard that before, where like the maid of honor is like talking about herself the whole time, and it’s like, okay, this isn’t about you, but politics, like, there is a time and place, why are you bringing that up?
Wedding Speech Disasters: When Guests Make It About Themselves
Christa Innis: Yeah, yeah, I just, I hate to think I’m repeating myself, but I saw one where, um, The father in law, no, the father of the bride made a speech at the wedding Talking about the election like this just happened and how proud he was and wearing a make America great again hat And I’m just like and she apparently had a feeling he was gonna do this and was like, please don’t This is not the time.
Please do not do this. So yeah, just like that’s not the time to make your speech about politics. Um, and you said you saw a maid of honor make this speech about herself. I’ve, I’ve seen that before, too. I’ve seen a best man. Literally, this is so tacky, guys. Don’t do this. My husband and I just kept looking at each other like, is this really happening?
He was talking about how much money he made. And how he worked his life to compete with his brother, and they’ve competed, and then he literally said how much money he makes, and he’s like, so now I know I make more than you. Okay. I looked at Zach and I was like, are we listening to this?
Krysta: What? Rooted in jealousy?
Like, why are you saying that?
Christa Innis: Yeah. I’m just like, okay. Like, I don’t know. It’s one of those where you’re just, everyone’s looking around. I’m like, does everyone think the same thing or is like most people okay with this? Don’t do that, guys. Um, okay. Next one. My dad’s wife wore a short white dress to the wedding.
Krysta: Oh, I’ve seen this before where I’m like, What are you doing? You saw it at weddings. Yeah, where like, people would be wearing white. And every bride is different, I feel like. Because it’s happened sometimes where I don’t know, like the white, the white thing where it’s like, if it’s a white dress with flowers on it, or if it’s like fully white, I know like in my head, I’m like, you should always ask the bride.
Like I try and stay away from white, just personal preference in general. But if there is like a flowery white dress, like just ask, ask the bride if she’s okay with it. But like fully not asking and wearing like a white short dress, it’s like, again, calling attention to yourself.
Christa Innis: Yeah, yeah, that’s bad.
Especially because, like, it’s dad’s wife, so I’m trying to understand, like, what the relationship is. Yeah, not even mom. Um, sounds like a competition kind of thing, if I’m reading into it. Um, okay. This next one’s like, very G. Um, I wore bridal slippers during the wedding so I would be comfortable. That’s Hell yeah.
Yeah. I mean, don’t, don’t be in pain. Like, I’m so jealous of like, college age kids now that go out in gym shoes because that’s trendy. Like, come on. I struggled. I’d be like wearing wedges and heels out to bars. Like, it’s all about comfort, guys. Like, I wore like one pair of heels and then For the reception I would switch to like wedge gym shoes and they were the best thing ever.
Krysta: Oh, I remember those. Those were so cute too. Yeah.
Christa Innis: Yeah, they were just like white and like no one saw them under my dress other than like my dance and I had to run to each table, you know, so like that made it so much better.
Krysta: Yeah, no way I’d be doing that in heels.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I don’t want to break an ankle on my wedding day.
Krysta: I’m a pass on that.
Christa Innis: Yeah. All right. Well, that’s all I’ve got for today. Thank you so much for coming on. It was so great, like catching up and hearing your, your hot takes.
Krysta: Yeah. Thanks for having me.
Christa Innis: Well, where can everyone find you? Um, if they want to hear more of your takes and then maybe we’ll have to do another skit in the future too.
That’d be kind of fun. I know. We
Krysta: definitely should. Right now I’m just on TikTok doing astrology content in my, um, is it called your at your username? Your handle? My handle is at Cardinal Chris and Chris is spelled K R Y S.
Christa Innis: Awesome. Well, we’ll link it to and guys, I’m telling you, even if you’re not like into astrology, the way she like, I don’t know if you’re like into like personality quizzes or like that kind of thing, like learning more about yourself.
It’s so like you can learn so much. I just, I love it. Um, well, awesome. Well, thank you so much for coming on and, uh, we will, we’ll talk soon. Yeah. Thank you. Bye.
The Good The Bad and The Unbelievable with Dominic and Serena
When the bride says no country music, but the groom’s father demands it… what could go wrong?
Wedding chaos is inevitable, but when parents think the day is about them, things can spiral fast. Dominic and Serena, the husband-and-wife team behind The Wedding Duo, share their wildest stories from behind the scenes of wedding planning and DJing.
Should parents get a say if they’re paying? That’s just one of the controversial takes we tackle, along with strict dress codes, surprise weddings, and over-the-top in-laws. In this episode, they break down how to set boundaries while keeping the peace.
And what happens when an uninvited guest catches the bouquet? From family feuds to DJ battles, this episode is packed with unforgettable moments, wedding hot takes, and plenty of laughs.
Don’t miss the drama—tune in now!
Episode Chapter Markers
00:00 Introduction
01:28 Meet the Wedding Duo
02:09 Social Media Success and Wedding Tips
04:41 Wedding Stories and Challenges
27:35 DJ’s Perspective on Wedding Music
30:55 Wedding Story Submission: A Series of Unbelievable Moments
45:13 Confessions Game: Wedding Drama Unveiled
48:40 Social Media Reactions and Final Thoughts
Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments
- How Dominic and Serena built The Wedding Duo and started planning and DJing weddings together
- The power struggle between couples and parents—who really gets the final say?
- When wedding dress codes go wrong—should guests have free rein or follow strict rules?
- DJ nightmares: Dominic’s worst experience with a father-of-the-groom demanding country music
- The growing trend of surprise weddings—fun ideas or absolute disasters?
- Why weddings without kids are such a hot debate—do kids add to or ruin the experience?
- Wedding guests behaving badly—uninvited guests, bouquet snatching, and family feuds
- The unexpected backlash on social media over a bride cutting her hair mid-reception
Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode
- “When a parent says, ‘Well, I’m paying, so I get a say,’ that’s when logic is out the window.” – Dominic Fournier
- “It’s super helpful to have someone who’s not emotionally attached to the situation too.” – Serena Fournier
- “We look at the event as a whole. Like, we’re trying to please everybody as much as we can, as best we can, but the couple is our target audience.” – Serena Fournier
- “Some people just can’t help themselves—they HAVE to be the main character, even at someone else’s wedding.” – Christa Innis
- “Weddings are already stressful, but throw in a drunk mother-in-law and an aunt in a white dress, and now we have a full-on reality show.” – Christa Innis
About Dominic and Serena
Dominic and Serena, better known as The Wedding Duo, are a husband-and-wife team dedicated to making wedding planning easier, more fun, and way less stressful for couples. With years of experience as wedding professionals, they offer expert guidance to DIY brides, helping them navigate the chaos of wedding planning with confidence.
As business owners, event pros, and parents of three, Dominic and Serena know what it takes to balance it all. They provide free resources, affordable planning tools, and personalized advice to couples looking to create their dream wedding without breaking the bank.
From insider tips to real-world problem-solving, The Wedding Duo simplifies the planning process—so couples can focus on the joy of their big day instead of the stress.
Follow The Wedding Duo:
Join the Drama with Christa Innis:
Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!
Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.
Submit your story today: Story Submission Form
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A Team Dklutr Production
Blog Transcript:
Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Christa Innis: Hi guys, thank you so much for coming on today.
Dominic: Thanks for having us.
Serena: We are excited to be here.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I’m so excited. I’ve been seeing your content for a while, and I love what you guys do. I love that you guys are both in the industry. So starting off, can you just talk a little bit about who you guys are, what you do, and then how you got into the industry?
How “The Wedding Duo” Started
Serena: Well, we are the wedding duo. So we’re a husband, wife, wedding planning, wedding DJ team. We originally started out in San Antonio, Texas, where we still own a company there that does entertainment and planning services for weddings. But we now travel the country and do weddings all over as a wedding duo.
We recently moved to Columbus, Ohio, in February of this year and bought a 20-acre property with the hopes. Of starting our own event space in the near future. So that’s a little synopsis of who we are and how we got into this?
Dominic: Well, it was weird during COVID things changed. Surprise, surprise, right?
Like a lot of things, just a little bit. Yeah. So we were, she said, Hey, I started a tick tock account. I go, okay. Cause that’s kind of what blew us up initially. And we’re on all the formats, but, and I was like, we did. Okay. And she goes, we’re going to the wedding. Do I go, what are we, what wedding do?
Okay. Cause you know, that’s not the name of our company, obviously in San Antonio. And so we just started like doing tips and tricks and you know, how social media works, you start throwing stuff against the wall, see mistakes. Thanks. yeah, we started getting a little traction and then we started getting better at it.
Some people had mentioned, Oh, I went back and watched all the videos. And I go, not all you didn’t go to the beginning. Those are like, I look back at that and I’m like, cringe, delete, delete. But it was all part of the process. And we always say when a bride gets a ring on her finger, she’s like, Oh my God, I’m engaged.
Like, what the heck do I do now? There’s just so much, so many decisions, so many little nuances. And they just. Ideally, they’ve never done it before and hopefully they never do it again. So it’s like They don’t know what even began. So we started just doing tips and tricks and it just really, people really were like,
Christa Innis: Yeah, I love that so much. I’ve heard the story so much about when COVID happened, it was like, TikTok, like, let’s go to social media. How can we think outside the box of like, expanding our business and people want to see, I feel like who they’re working with now, they want to. They want to learn more in just different ways.
Then it’s not that old fashioned just like go to a website and just scroll. It’s like they want to see firsthand what they’re going to get and learn.
Serena: Yeah. And that’s something too, I’ve talked before, about how trust has changed in the industry over the last very many, like five, six years.
And there are a lot of couples who don’t necessarily trust wedding vendors initially. And so that’s part of it. Two is they wanna see who you are. They wanna know you’re reputable, they wanna know you’ve, you’re gonna show up and like, because just there are horror stories right out there. Yeah. And they’re so visible now with social media.
So I think it’s important that you put a face behind a company and. A trustworthy thing for years.
Dominic: That first call because I’m a DJ, right? I would have that first call where I’m trying to, it’s consultation, right? It was always like, Hey, let’s get to know each other. See if I’m the guy for the job. Now they mentioned like, I feel like I already know you.
I’m like, oh, okay. Well, am I available? And is it in the budget? I mean, because they already have such a heavy dose of my personality and our personality when they want to plan her as well. It’s really, it’s almost so easy.
Serena: It changes it.
Dominic: Yeah. I’m like, Just sign here. Yeah.
Christa Innis: You’re like right here. Yeah. You’re able to showcase those different areas of yourself where like before you weren’t really able to. And I feel like that’s what people are looking for. They’re like someone they can relate to and has a personality that’s going to do the job that they want them to do. and a little bit more.
So I love that. So did you guys like to meet doing weddings or did you guys start doing weddings after you guys got married and started dating or?
Serena: And we get asked about it all the time. So he introduced me to the wedding world. He was DJing when we met and I was looking for a part-time job, and he got an interview at a country club as an event assistant.
Dominic: And I knew that she mentioned to me, like she was, if I can just find somebody to help and I go, Oh, I actually have somebody that might be outgoing and people always look at me and my personality, but I go, she’s just, she’s really good with people. And she’s really good at keeping things calm, all the scenarios you talk about, she would diffuse that like that, right? Yes,
Serena: You need that. It’s necessary, but yeah, so we, I started working in the event space, he was working separately, this was out in California, it wasn’t until we moved our little family to Texas that we started working together, though when we built our company there.
Christa Innis: Oh, very cool. I love that. And, like, you talk about you being able to diffuse those situations of the skits that I share. It’s like, I feel like so many of them, if they had, like, so many of the stories that are sent to me, if they had, like, a planner or a day of coordinator or someone that was there, like, on their side, I feel like so many of these could be, like, helped out because I feel like there’s so many like communication issues and I get some of the family stuff like that’s you can’t really like, I don’t know if no one can help that.
You just have to have good boundaries, I guess. But, but like a day of stuff like you need someone there that’s going to be like on your side and, um, you know, with you every step of the way for sure.
Dominic: And that’s one of the reasons we talk about. I mean, not, it’s not in the budget for everyone to have wall-to-wall professionals, but that’s what you get.
You get people that. No, where the issue is before it even happens and they head off of the past, they let people know, like, no, that’s no, is the people like, we’ve had this conversation a hundred times before, before you can get to the next thought, which I know where you’re going. Like, we can already say,
Serena: Well, and it’s, it’s super helpful to have someone who’s not emotionally attached to the situation too.
Right? Like, yeah. I’ve had to play that role so many times where I’m just kind of like a calming voice in a room of chaos, right? So, um, I think that that is super helpful, especially on the actual day of the event.
Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Like, that’s like the bride I’m working with right now. She was like, I just need someone to like, keep me calm.
Cause I know my nerves are going to be really high. And so just like, You just need that exterior person, like you’re just talking about where it’s like, you’re not going to be involved in the drama. You’re not going to have a bias against, you know, someone or something like, let’s just stick on our timeline. Let’s, you know, make things flow. So it works well.
Dominic: Cause she gets everybody calm. And then I come into the bridal suite, like, Oh, great. We had everybody calm and here I come in like, Oh, like a wrecking ball. That’s what I do. I bring humor into it a lot. And I try to get people to like, like, you know, cause I always say like, how are you feeling about the bride’s shoes?
I’m nervous. I am nervous on your wedding day. And they’re like, I know. And so it’s just a little thing that little dad jokes that she’s so tired of. If they’re still getting their hair and makeup done, I’ll make a joke about my hair, of course.
Christa Innis: You need that to kind of loosen up the nerves.
Serena: And I have learned that it is.
As much as I roll my eyes, it is a valuable tool that he brings. To the party, right? It’s just that like interjection of humor and a sense of calm and like, oh, okay, let’s not all take ourselves so seriously.
Dominic: And they forget that it’s supposed to be a celebration. It’s supposed to be fun. But before you start, oh my God, everybody’s just puckered up so tight. And they’re like, everybody’s taking a breath.
Christa Innis: Yes, absolutely. So getting into the reason why people love hearing these stories, the hot takes, the drama, do you guys have any, like, being in the industry, do you guys have any crazy stories that you would like to share, that you’ve witnessed, heard, what have you?
When the DJ Becomes the Mediator
Dominic: So, like we mentioned, like, it’s, and I think, the scenarios you talk about, I think, are few and far between, but when they happen, it’s just, that’s what you talk about, right? It’s almost like the morning after. Oh, how was the wedding? Oh my God, the cake fell over. Like, that’s, that was one tiny thing that happened, but it’s the first, they want to tell what happened, what was the drama, right?
but I did have a scenario where, and I’m, I’m really good with people and I’m really, like I said, I’m good about diffusing. I’m very professional. I’m an adult. I try to be an adult and I don’t drink. So that’s, that’s. And that’s what, that’s what came into this one. Father of the bride, we’re in Texas. He was a good old boy.
He wanted nothing but country music. The bride, who was not his daughter. That was his daughter-in-law. So he’s the father of the groom’s wanted country. Did I say, bride? Father of the groom wanted a country. His new daughter-in-law said. I don’t want any country. So here I am in the middle with her being my client, right?
She signed the contract. He is so mad at me because I will not. So I even went up to him. I’m like, I would tell him repeatedly, the bride doesn’t want it. I go, when I went to the bride, like, can you please let me do a couple of country songs just to get him chilled out? And I did not do enough. He was literally walking in front of the DJ booth at one point.
Points at me and says worst effing DJ ever. I’m like, are you kidding me? I mean, I care so much. I’m so in the weeds about making sure everything goes perfectly. And so, and he’s sitting over there on the side like this. And so I’m like, again, I’m an adult. I walked up to him saying, can you appreciate my position?
I’m between the bride and it’s her day, right? I know you’re the father of the groom. You think it’s all about you hiring me another day and I’ll do your country playlist all night, but she hired me. It’s her day and she and her friends want to party. It’s not you and the boys at the country club playing in your country.
He did. He literally bowed me up and kind of bumped me a little bit. I’m like, You’re joking. Are you joking about this? He was well into the booze at this point. So I’m like I’m, just gonna remove myself from this guy, but it was like one of those moments and it’s still like Those memories are what sticks in your, in your head.
Even though I’ve had a thousand parents above me, he’s stuck in there. And I’m like, yeah.
Christa Innis: Because especially you can put so much care into your job and what you’re doing. And you’re like, I’m literally doing the best job I can do. And they can’t see past that. Like you are helping your client first. That’s like her day, oh my gosh.
Serena: Yeah. And it’s, it’s also, we. We do a lot of planning prior to the event, obviously, right? But even with the music piece, he sits down and has meetings with the client. So it’s like, it’s not like he’s just going off the fly and playing what he wants to hear, right? This has all been planned out and set up prior to the event.
So I don’t know.
Dominic: And people are weird about their music. I mean, people’s taste in music is just as personal as their taste in food or whatever, right? Like, so when they come up and somebody is like, turn this off, nobody wants to hear this. And I’m like, maybe the crowded dance floor would speak differently, right?
Cause I’m like, you’re not seeing plus. When they come up and say, Hey, can you play this song? And I go, no, it’s not your day. Random guests. Like it’s the couple who have given me music to play and I’m going to play their music as a priority. Plus whatever. It just usually gets the crowd going. So it’s the whole thing.
They don’t, they don’t get it. Sometimes, you know, the people that don’t get it, the people you do your skits with, they don’t get it. Right.
Christa Innis: They don’t get it. I know it’s, it’s hard. Cause I feel like. Like the father of the groom, they see it as their day to like presents to their friends or, you know, whoever’s there and it’s like, Oh, these are my, like you said, like my country boys, like, we love this.
And it’s like, get that out of your head for a little bit. And just like riding groom day.
Serena: Yes. There’s a time and a place for that, right? Like for your group of friends and your music. This is not it.
Dominic: You have a cowboy hat? Easy. Father of the groom, put the cowboy hat on.
Serena: There you go.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. That’s crazy.
That is. I’ve never heard of someone getting so like, yeah, like you said, like people get very into their music, but I can’t imagine someone just going up to a DJ and saying that like knowing the dance floor is busy. People are enjoying music. It’s just you, sir.
Serena: It happens a lot, honestly. I mean, not to that extent, but, um, we have a team of DJs like in San Antonio and they talk about, you know, they get flipped off by a guest because they wouldn’t play a request, but alcohol is also a big factor, right? People get really upset.
Dominic: And again, it’s the exception, not the norm, but, and then when it does happen if it’s a random guest, like I have no problem saying like, you didn’t, the only reason I’m, the only reason you’re here is because they decided to get married. They hired me to be here for this party.
They’re giving you booze, they fed you just to enjoy the party. Right. But they’re like, but they get mad that they won’t play their song. But I’m like, they don’t, but a random guest is easy, but when it’s a parent, a father of one of the couple, that was where I’m like, okay, now I have to tread a little lighter.
You know, it was just, and again, it was really random, but I want dibs. You mentioned me. You mentioned Jesus’ story.
Christa Innis: Yes. No, I will totally give you credit if I do that. And, and I’m wondering too, it’s like, cause the story that I’m, I just did like a skit where the mom was like, um, talking about like an open bar, the bride didn’t only want to like wine and beer.
And the mom was like, well, we’re paying for it. So I’m wondering too, do you ever get people that are like, well, I’m paying for the DJ or I’m paying for this portion of the wedding. So I should get a say, and they don’t understand like, no, your client is still the first person.
The Parent Paycheck Problem
Dominic: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It’s the worst. The minute they drop that exact line. Well, I’m paying. I know. Okay. So the logic is out the window. Yeah, you’re just the string is there.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Dominic: Nothing else matters. Well, I wrote the check. Okay. All right. It’s the worst. But yeah, it comes up a lot.
Serena: It does. I mean, they pull that card and it’s really unfair, right?
Because yes, that’s true. But we look at the event as a whole, right? Like we’re trying to please everybody as much as we can, as best we can, but the couple is our target audience, so just because you’re paying for it, I mean, that happens so much too throughout the planning process with parents because they’re like, they contributed to a certain portion of the day.
And so they want to be able to have more say in what happens with that, whether it be decorations or cake or something. Right. Um, and it puts the couple in a weird spot because what if they don’t, that’s not their vibe or that’s not what they had in mind, you know, they’re strings attached and it’s, it’s difficult.
Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s still one of the most controversial things I see when I make a video about something because I do longer like YouTube videos and I’ll talk about it. I’d like to read a story someone sent me. And still in the comments, people are like, well, if someone’s paying, they should have every right to change something.
No, they shouldn’t. If the bride wants to include the bride or groom wants to include the parent, that is their choice. Like, get opinions. Absolutely. Bring them along to a tasting. Sure. But to go over their head and change something or feel like they have authority over them is just wrong.
Dominic: In my opinion, it’s always, the one I just watched, the one that you’re talking about with alcohol.
The first thing I thought of was like, usually it’s. When the alcohol comes to somebody who brought it in like they have a flask, they have a bottle, there’s a surprise, they have it at the table, and that doesn’t go, and then the bartenders or the staff or the wedding planner will literally be like, can’t have this, and takes it, and they’re like, and
Serena: they get so upset, yeah, and
Dominic: it’s not just that it was expensive, but it’s like, no, that, you just took the party, like, that’s like, we’re doing shots at the table, you, most actual establishments, you can’t do that, or you can’t have it in the broom suite, you can’t have, you can’t bring your own booze in, that’s like, Should be obvious, but you get some people with the good old boys that bring it.
I don’t want to say guys, and girls do it too, but I mean, it’s, it’s, it boozes. Yeah, you gotta have it, but it’s like it brings a lot of drama with it, right? So
Christa Innis: yeah, I know someone just commented on the video either that part or another one and they said they read a wedding once where It actually got shut down because someone was sneaking in alcohol and because we don’t think about the liquor laws Some places don’t have the liquor license to have it or if you agree to a certain contract and you bring other stuff in they Could they could shut down like lose, you know different licenses or lose privileges.
So like they have to protect themselves People don’t think about that
Dominic: Well, and kids, it’s under 20, not even kids under 21, like the 19-year-old sitting at that table. That keeps hitting the shots. Yeah, that’s just getting in trouble when they get in a car crash on the drive home, the venue, people, the bartenders.
Yeah. And it’s like, they got to protect themselves. So, but they don’t. People just can’t, like, think two more steps ahead to figure that out. It’s like, there’s a reason we do this this way, so.
Christa Innis: All right, let’s jump into some wedding hot takes. So these are a couple of different prompts that people have shared before.
I want to get your guy’s opinion on it. So, do you think weddings should have strict dress codes, or should guests be free to wear what makes them feel comfortable?
Do Weddings Need Strict Attire Rules?
Serena: Oh, that’s a great question. So I think if it’s important to the couple, right, that they have an overall aesthetic, okay, let’s say they want, you know, a black tie type of an event, um, then the guest should comply with that, right?
Like they, they can put it on their invitations and they can choose not to come if they don’t want to get dressed up to that, um, level. But for the majority of events, I see, and I’m just saying kind of. What is more common, there is a certain expectation of, you know, dressing nice, but also not wearing white and, you know, um, not necessarily like a dress code, unless requested, I guess, if that makes sense.
Dominic: Oh, I had a stepmom recently. I’m like, and that’s the big book of wedding protocol, right? Page one, don’t wear white. Like, I feel like that what people know, right? And she was in this white dress and I was just like, oh, and of course, right away, the bride’s like. Honestly, like, and everybody else is like, you know what you’re doing.
You’re just stirring the pot. You’re kicking the bee’s nest. When I was DJing in California, where we met, I used to really have a problem with denim. And I’m like, really, you thought wearing jeans to the wedding was appropriate. And then I got to Texas and the wedding party is in jeans sometimes, but it’s, but that’s their vibe.
They’re cowboy hats and jeans. They’re nice jeans, you know, but, uh, but then there’s the other extreme where somebody wore a ball cap and you’re like, no, just a guest, a random wedding party. They’re in the loop. For these things, but I, I, I think people should dress up. I’m not a fan. And
Serena: I think they should do, but I think if an expectation of a certain attire is something you have in mind, you really need to put it out there and make sure that people are aware.
Right. That’s my only kind of. Caveat on that,
Dominic: but we’ve had people that in the wedding party or parents sometimes like they finish the ceremony and they’re just so uncomfortable in the suit or dress, they go and change and they’re back and they’re in their khakis or their T-shirt, and we haven’t even taken the pictures yet of that.
There’ve been grooms of that. They said like. You got to go back and change back. And I’m like, it’s just the craziest thing. And I’m like, you can’t just, just for just a few hours, you can’t stay dressed up. They just can’t do it.
Christa Innis: I know though the wedding I held with, uh, early last year, um, day of coordinator and.
Then, one of the, like, brides, like, new sister-in-law was, like, I think probably under 20, so she was maybe 18, 19. Complained about the dress the whole time. Literally, the second the wedding was over, went and changed, and they were like, We need you back! And, like, it was one of those where it was constantly, like, come on, like, stand up, like, we gotta get you in pictures.
Smile! Like, it was just, like,
Serena: constant.
Christa Innis: Right. So that’s hard. And, it’s hard, especially when you want them involved in the wedding and you’re like, come on, just wear this dress for like just a couple hours. Like, help me out here. But, um, but yeah, people get really like I’ve seen in the comments. People get really upset when it’s like, like, don’t tell me what to wear if I’m coming to your event.
But I agree where it’s like, let’s how you would normally dress than just like a little nicer for an event. But yeah, like sometimes you see jeans at weddings and it’s like, Sometimes it’s fine. It fits. If it fits their theme, go for it. Um, but yeah, it’s hard. That’s just it.
Dominic: It’s a pretty casual event. And everybody, all events are different.
But when it says black tie, make an effort, right? Like, go out. The thing that gets me into something I bring up as well is, let’s say you’ve got the wedding party and their plus ones at the head table. And then your sister starts dating this guy a month before and he shows up in the dirty ball cap. And now he’s at the head table
Serena: in the
Dominic: pictures and then they break up a week later.
Serena: And
Dominic: you’re like, are you going to be in every one of the pictures? So,
Christa Innis: yeah,
Dominic: That’s one of them. Yeah.
Christa Innis: And you never know if you’re going to be and like. I think most people probably don’t think about this. Maybe just like being kind of in the industry, but like you could be in the background of a video, like if a videographer is there, you can be in the background of a photo or like when they’re taking ceremony photos, you don’t want to see like someone’s like, you know, backward cap, you know, in the audience or something.
So just thinking about those things. Let’s see. So this one. Okay. How do you feel about couples hosting a surprise wedding instead of announcing it in advance?
Surprise Weddings: Bold or Reckless?
Dominic: A surprise wedding? I can’t say I’ve ever been a part of that.
Serena: Yeah, I don’t think I have either, but the thought kind of terrifies me a little bit. As a planner. Yeah, like I’m like, Oh my God, like how that adds such an extra level of stress and Just dynamic to the whole thing, right?
Dominic: Well, if we were in there from the beginning and we helped plan the surprise, that would be me. I’d be like, let’s do a first dance. I don’t know. What is your name?
What’s up? Like it would be, we couldn’t be surprised. We would have to be in on the loop, but it still brings in a whole, it would be a whole different, a whole different event.
Serena: Absolutely.
Christa Innis: I picture like. really upset parents. Like, I don’t know. Like, that makes me think that maybe if they did one, or if they’re planning on doing one, it’s like someone like maybe parents don’t agree.
And then they’re planning a party. Like, I feel like I’ve read a story where someone submitted it to me and they were planning a surprise wedding just to kind of be like, well, we’re already married, so you can’t do anything about it. Sorry. Surprise. Yeah. It’s like, I would never personally do that, but.
I guess they teach their own, but it’s almost like, I feel like someone that does that is like, they just don’t want other opinions to be brought in.
Serena: Exactly. And I think it would depend on, like, their motives, right? Maybe they’re just like, like you said, they don’t want any other opinions through the process, they don’t want those.
Dominic: It’s just a low, but it’s almost like you want to like, Oh no, I’m sticking it to the person. Like mom is going to hear about this. We’re going right. We’re going to see their faces.
Christa Innis: Yeah, go for it.
Dominic: That’s what I said. Go for it.
Wedding Hot Takes: Debating the Controversial Opinions
Christa Innis: Yeah, exactly. You do you. Yeah, exactly. Okay, next section is pick a side on wedding drama debates. So, these are things, unpopular opinions that people send me on Instagram. They’re not always unpopular because sometimes I’m like, oh, I agree with that, but they might be a little more controversial.
So, let me know what you guys think about these. So, the first one says weddings are better with kids.
Serena: So we actually disagree on that. Like, between the two, I mean, like, we’re more on one side than the other. I like adult -only events. And he loves kids, just in his life, like, right? So, he doesn’t mind the chaos that can occur with children.
In general, right?
Dominic: It’s not even kids. Usually it’s the parents, right? Cause you know, when they’re like that, it takes a village. No, your little terror is running. Because I’ve had kids, they had a little packet of toys for the kids. Like, cause you know, there’ll be coloring books, coloring books. Great. But this one had bouncy balls in it.
Christa Innis: Oh, no.
Dominic: Anybody listening? Terrible idea. Don’t give the kids. There was a little boy, literally, during the first dance, bouncing a ball across, running across, picking it up, throwing it across, and I’m like, looking around like, where is the parent? So that’s nonsense. When the, when the, when the parents just don’t care and the kids are just like, Yeah, I don’t like that, but just they’re in the family too.
But again, that’s really, people have a camp, kids or no kids. They’re like, I’m not sure. No, they already know. So it’s a big thing.
Christa Innis: Yeah. People are so passionate about it. When I post about it, like they’re like, how disgusting that a bride and groom would not include kids. And then on the other end, it’s like, no, I don’t want to go.
I don’t even want my own kids there or something like that. And I’m like, I, if I get invited to a wedding and my daughter’s not invited, I’m like, That’s fine. She’ll have fun with Nana and Papa. Or, you know, or if I, if she has invited, I’m like, great, you know, and I, she’s so small now where I’m like, I probably wouldn’t bring her that’s because I’m like, I’d rather have like a night out.
But you know what? Like to each their own for like bride and groom. I don’t know. It’s just me bouncing the balls and I’ve heard crazy stories and you are 100 percent right where it’s when the parents don’t watch the kid because they’re kids. They’re going to get into stuff. We know this about kids.
but yeah, if like a cake gets knocked over because of a kid, is it really the kid to blame or is it parent not wanting to
Dominic: share some of that? Responsibility.
Christa Innis: Yes, but I’m like my purse like we invited all our nieces and nephews because I was like, I couldn’t imagine getting married without my nieces and nephews there, but like when it came to like friends, kids or like distant relative kids that I barely see, I’m like, and I, and most of my friends were like, I would rather have a night out with my husband.
Dominic: If you think about it, how many times do they have a corporate Christmas party? The kids don’t go to that. Like it’s not a, it’s a thing. If it’s going to be a grownup party, yeah, the kids don’t go. But to your point, I would say just bring the ones, you know, like if you’re. Person from work. You don’t even know their spouse.
They’re bringing their kids. Like, you know, of course not pay for them. No, absolutely not. So I agree. But again, I, I, I enjoy chatting with the kids. He
Serena: does. He’s like the kid whispers, like the pied piper wedding is there and the little kids like to follow him around. I get a lot
Dominic: of assistant DJs. And sometimes I’m like, okay, we need to yeah.
I can’t get to the board because they’re all back there. What song is next? Is this microphone on? I’m like, put the microphone down.
Christa Innis: Right. Well, I think I was always like, I always heard this story growing up from my mom where they were having no kids at their wedding, my parents. And one of my, I think it was like my dad’s coworker or something was like, Oh, like we’re RCPing with our two kids.
And they were really mad that the kids were not invited. And so my parents were like, okay, fine. You know what? We’ll add them on, you know, we’ll give them. Two seats day of the like, and you know, it was expensive. Like you still have to add on these kids meals the day of the wedding. They didn’t come and they acted like it was no big deal.
Like my parents were like, Oh, where’s so and so and so and so they didn’t want to come. My parents were like, you made this huge thing. We extended it for them. And then they didn’t even like to come. So those are the
Dominic: People, these are the same people. They’re all going to that same pile.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Serena: Just that level of like.
Selfishness, I think, is what it comes down to. Yeah, like, only being able to see how it affects themselves. Totally.
Dominic: It’s a selfish thing, I think, for sure.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Okay, so this next one says Alright, so this is a good one, since you’re a DJ. Songs that have specific dances, like Cupid Shuffle, for example, alienate people from the dance floor.
Dominic: Uh, I would say it’s the opposite. Yeah. For a DJ, it’s kind of low hanging fruit because if I’m trying to get the dance floor energized, whatever people, I mean, I don’t even know if your wedding counts if you didn’t wobble at the reception. Right? So I’m just kidding. But it is like, there are people that will only dance to the line dances because they don’t like it, they don’t think they can dance, but they know they can follow the moves like everyone else.
And there are nights where they want, like, can we do the boot scootin’ boogie, followed by the Cuban shuffle, followed by the wobble, followed by the cha cha slide. I’m like, absolutely not. I mean, I will sprinkle them in, but I don’t want, yeah, I don’t want, I, again, it’s their day, but it’s really, it’s another thing.
Some people are like, no line dances. And then other people are like, Oh, we love them. I’m like, okay. And overall, there’ll be a night where I’m really muscling through a dance floor. Because I can only work with the crowd I have. But they’ll literally come out, do the line dance and then disappear on me again.
I’m like, I can’t get any more venom. It’s not usual, but. Again, not everybody, but overall, yeah, it’s, it’s,
Serena: It’s still a thing. And I don’t think it alienates people unless, I mean, I guess like for that song, right? Like it’s usually just one or two, if we play them and
Dominic: yeah. If I’m a guest, I love to dance, but I’m like, knock yourself out.
Kick your right foot, kick your left foot, turn around. It’s like a hokey pokey. I’m like, I’m going to get a drink at that point.
Serena: Exactly. Like, yeah, I don’t think it changes the overall.
Dominic: Yeah, but I’m in the minority. The minute I play cha cha slide, I’m like, here they come, here they come. But what’s cool about it is the little kids know it because they do it at the middle school dance.
Right. Grandma knows it because it’s been around 20, 30 years. So it’s one of those, like you look at all walks of life, all generations, because it’s a wedding. It’s not a club. You got four generations there. Right. And I want everyone to dance and that’s one of the songs that we’ll get
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Dominic: It’s crazy.
Christa Innis: So I totally agree with that. I’m the wobble girl. I always wobble at weddings. Yeah. And it’s funny too, because it’s like, that one’s obviously a little bit newer. I feel like when I was in college, that’s when I started hearing that more. But um, like I remember at my wedding, like my mom was like, Oh, how would I do it?
So we’re all trying to teach. And I think it’s just like a fun moment for a family, you said, like multiple generations to come in. But, but yeah, maybe like the hokey pokey or like the chicken dance, we don’t always need those. But you know, Yeah. Yeah. You know,
Dominic: And there’s even like people would say the YMCA is one that’s kind of a lot.
It is like the part in the middle, right? Or what about Miss, uh, Chappelle Rowan, like H O T T O, right? It’s like, and people were like, what are they doing? And I’m like, some people know it, some people don’t, but I always say like, is it going to stay? And is it going to really get momentum?
Cause Like the wobble has been around. It’s one of the newer ones, but the cubit shuffle is over. Cha cha slide has got to be 25 years old, but they still know it and do it. It’s still relevant. I use that. Word loosely, but, uh, I don’t have to go say yeah.
Serena: Relevant in the wedding. Yes. I’m running differently than the rest of the world.
The Wildest Submissions Yet
Christa Innis: Yeah. Okay. I know, like we’ve had so much fun chatting, but I want to get into this week’s wedding story submission. So we can kind of react to it. So I’m going to read it and then, um, I’ll make little pauses and stuff too, or just feel free to start like. Cut me off if you want to start talking about how crazy it is.
Like I said, before we started recording, I’ve not read it yet. So we’ll see what we’re going to get. Sometimes they end. Not too crazy and just a little like a learning moment. So here we go. All right. Our wedding happened two years ago, but it’s too much of a WTF moment to not share. I love your skits, and this could honestly be a whole series.
The day of our wedding, there were so many moments that were just shocking, but also you just have to laugh and shake your head. My husband and I stayed in separate rooms the night before, but they were right across the Oh, they. Okay, she missed this. I’m guessing her in laws. Says they were right across the hall.
I had hair and makeup in my room for all the bridesmaids and the moms. Everything was going smoothly until my mother in law came in to get her hair done and she was already buzzed from drinking. Here we go, another drinking one. She was saying things like, I can’t believe you’re taking my baby from me. Who is going to take care of me?
Why does this day have to happen? Mind you, my father in law is very much alive, and my husband has another brother.
Dominic: So it was all on him apparently. Yeah.
Christa Innis: This is the one.
Dominic: This is the golden child of the family.
Christa Innis: Oh yeah. And it’s funny too because like people always be like, oh this is so dramatized and I’m like, but sometimes like people are like, no this happened word for word to me.
Right.
Dominic: Absolutely. We all know these people.
Christa Innis: Yeah. The time had come to say our personal vows, and we were doing our first touch pictures. It was to be in his room on the balcony so we could get fall colors in the background. The only people invited were our photographer and videographer. While I was reading my vows, we heard and saw his aunt from the ground screaming that she loves my husband.
We ignored her, but she persisted, so my husband had to politely tell her to go away. Um, next came walking down the aisle. Him and I were both crying and had locked eyes the second I entered the aisle. I was midway through getting him, through getting to him when the other aunt suddenly grabbed my arm and started rubbing my shoulder.
I’ve been to 12 weddings and have never seen or heard of anyone doing this. I’m sure it was to try to comfort me. But not the time or the place. No.
Absolutely not. Yeah, what are we doing here? We finished up our ceremony and moved on to pictures. That’s why I noticed his third aunt. Okay, lots of aunts here. Yes. Dressed in all white.
Serena: Mmm, there it goes.
Christa Innis: Floor-length gown and all.
Serena: Yep, they do it.
Dominic: Does she have a bouquet? Was she carrying
Christa Innis: a bouquet? Her own bouquet and everything.
She had a veil, I’m guessing, so. So my photographer positioned her to stand directly behind me, so all you could see was her head. Smart photographer.
Dominic: Very good. Yeah.
Christa Innis: Family pictures were going well until we told everyone we were going to do our own one on one pictures. Mother in law had to be told and finally was removed as she wanted to join our pictures and tag along.
Serena: Yeah, let go. The umbilical cord has been severed. Yes! Oh my god.
Dominic: I hope they move out of the country, because this is the only way you’re going to serve this time. Yeah.
Christa Innis: This reminds me of the, uh, Everybody Loves Raymond situation. Like, we’re moving across the street, we’re going to come in the back door.
Serena: Yeah, exactly. Show up unannounced all the time. Oh, wow.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Once the reception hit, all the stress and anxiety was over, or so I thought. We had our dance and then my dad’s daughter danced. My husband goes to grab his mom and at this point she is wasted drunk. She kept yelling at him to twirl her, dip her, and make a whole scene.
The rest of the reception did go fairly well and I wouldn’t change a thing. But if you have, if you need more, I have my whole side of the family that apparently was competing to see who could be the bigger S show. Then we now have my whole pregnancy, which is also filled with drama. And that’s a whole other can of worms.
Serena: Right. Yes.
Christa Innis: So that’s,
Serena: That is, I can only imagine this mom now with a baby. that, yeah, it’s like
Dominic: They say, you’re not just marrying that person. You’re marrying the whole family.
Serena: But
Dominic: I mean, not, not really. I mean, you see him like most families, you just see holidays periodically, birthdays. But if they’re next door, if it’s that.
Everybody loves the Raymond scenario. Yeah. They are under your feet and it sounds like she probably didn’t move far.
Christa Innis: Yeah. And like. This is like a small, small detail that seems like they, I’m wondering if the bride or the mother of the groom asked for the room across the hall because I find it very interesting.
Um, oh, you know, I might’ve read that wrong. It sounds like her husband stayed across the hall the night before, but when the mother in law came in, it sounded like she was already just trying to stir the pot and just trying to make it about her. But
Serena: It’s so unfortunate. We did once on our feed where he talked about.
The mother of the groom, getting a photo with her son, like making sure that she had a moment with her son,
Dominic: like a first touch with the first look with the, with the father, the bride, which we see a lot,
Serena: Like, like, then it was important for the mother of the groom to be able to get those moments too, because it is right.
But this is the extreme, right? Like get the moment, but then also know that this isn’t about you, right? Like you, you of course are a big part of the two families coming together. But essentially it’s about the couple and, um, yeah, I, I don’t,
Dominic: It’s funny you mentioned that. And that’s the first thing I thought of too, was that, that video.
Cause I saw it once and I go, what a great idea. Because sometimes the groomsmen and the groom are already ready. And the bridesmaids take a little longer. Your gender takes a little longer to get ready often. Um, but the mom is sometimes ready. Cause she was usually early in the chair to get the hair and makeup done.
Just grab the photographer who sometimes is, you know, taking detailed shots or waiting and just have a quick, like, just the same thing. Walk up, tap him, because he’s always in that dirty Aerosmith shirt with the hole in the pit and the khaki pants and the Crocs. He’s dressed, he’s never looked better.
Mustache tamed, hair is cut, he’s groomed. Have a moment where you’re like, Oh my God, you look great. I’m so happy for your big wedding day. Hug it out, get a picture, wipe a tear, scene. And we’re good. Yes. The moms and the mothers of the bride were like, It is not about her. It is about me. The same ones. These people are like, they took it as an attack.
Like, no, it is me and my family and the bride’s. I go, what? Half of the guests are there because Of him and his family. It’s crazy. People get so personally attacked.
Christa Innis: Yeah. And I find it funny too, like people kind of call themselves out sometimes in the comments because it’ll be like a mother in law story that someone sent me and someone will comment.
Why do you only talk about mother-in -laws? Mother of the bride is bad too. And I’m like, okay. I mean, if someone tells me a story, I will ask. And I try to mix up what I’m talking about. But why, like, when I see a story about a bride, I don’t get offended because I’m like, I wasn’t like that, you know what I’m saying?
Like, it’s like, if you see a story and you’re offended and like, maybe we should look at, look in the mirror
Serena: a little bit of, you know, internal. Are you the
Dominic: lady from the story?
Christa Innis: Yeah. People will be like, are you, this is, are you in this story? Yeah. Yeah, I should reach out to this person and be like, do you want to share more for like a part two?
More, yeah, wow. I want to know about this, like, I mean, I’m good at photography for thinking quickly and being like, let’s move the amp behind you. But, all white, like, and I was someone like, you know, I had Like even to my bachelorette party, I remember one of my cousins being like, I bought a dress that has white in it.
Is that okay? I’m like, I don’t care. You could wear an all white dress. I’m not that person. I don’t care. But to just assume, or just to show up in a gown at someone’s wedding is very bold, very bold. You’re asking for people to like to ask questions or to like to notice you at that point.
Dominic: And like you said, a picture like in the background.
I’ve also seen where they have a really extreme, like, neon pink dress or something, and I get that that’s sometimes the thing, but we had one and it was really bright, and it was like a gown. It’s like, poofed out and everything. I think she had, like, some kind of a tiara looking thing too in her hair, and I’m like, and again, every picture she was like Bigfoot.
There she was in the background, because she glowed, right? Right. And it’s like, it’s not, it’s not your day. It’s not about you, but some people just don’t, that doesn’t. Yeah. They can’t
Serena: not like to stand out in social settings. Right.
Dominic: That could be the title of every one of your stories. It’s not about you, but let’s tell the story.
Yeah.
Christa Innis: I feel like I’ve quoted that so many times in these skits. I’m like, well, it’s not about you, but like people still, and the irony of it too, is like these, the mother in law, especially in this story, that’s like, don’t take my baby away from me. Like, why does this have to happen? The more they act like that.
The less they’re going to see their son, because the wife’s not going to want them around. For
Serena: That matters. Right. Like who wants that overbearing mother in law when you, especially when you’re a new mom and like, Oh my gosh, how can
Dominic: You do not connect the dots on that? Right.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I feel like ’cause people like that are just the main character of their own story, so they don’t see how they can be the issue, that’s to say, yeah, yeah.
She, the bride, is the villain at that point.
Dominic: Terrible bride. How dare she take her?
Christa Innis: Terrible. I’ve seen that a lot too. People will comment like, well, brides, or what, what did they say? Like, brides are villains too. And I’m like, yeah, I’ve shared some where brides are not the, the, you know, main protagonist or whatever.
They’re like, and I’m like. Or, you know, they’ll just kind of be upset at the story, how it comes out. And I’m like, I just, I just get a story and I just make it into it.
Serena: It’s so interesting. We, um, we had a video recently where we showed our bride, she cut her hair right after the ceremony. So
Dominic: today, this morning, I saw another bride doing it as a surprise
Serena: to her groom,
Dominic: mid reception, like the.
We started the dance floor and then, yeah, and then
Serena: We took her back. She had her aunt come in to the stylist and cut her hair and it was really fun and fabulous and crazy. Yeah. But, and okay, we posted on Tik TOK. We posted on Instagram and there were a few comments on those platforms. And, but a lot of them were like, this is, she looks great on Facebook.
Christa Innis: Mean.
Serena: We’re so upset. They were like,
Christa Innis: how
Serena: Dare you? You are being deceitful to your husband. He married you with long hair and now he’s going to be disappointed.
Dominic: I mean, they were so,
Serena: They were so mad.
Dominic: So you’re on social media. You understand, right? We have videos. And TikTok and Instagram and Facebook are similar, but if we put the same video on all three, we’ll have one that blows up on one and it does that on the other one.
So that one has 20, 000 on TikTok, maybe about the same on Instagram, 4. 5 million on Facebook. We’ve never had a video, never had a video go that big on Facebook before. And every comment
Serena: is pissed off, almost. It is
Dominic: ridiculous, the things they’re saying.
Christa Innis: I find Facebook is kind of like the meaner out of all of them and like with this whole like possible like TikTok ban, it’s funny, like one of the first comments I saw about it, this woman was like, Oh, that’s good because you know, TikTok bullying and stuff.
I want to be like, Facebook has the like, Facebook has the meanest comments like towards me or towards like skit people like, Oh my gosh, like those are where I get like the nastiest comments, I would say.
Serena: It’s the same for us. He like he rarely he’s in most of the videos right and he doesn’t get a lot of negative like personal attacks on Uh, TikTok or Instagram, but when they come, they come from
Dominic: Facebook.
Serena: Yeah. Yeah.
Dominic: This is what I get. It’s because, I don’t know if you’ve seen any ones where I talk about the bride going down the aisle and I start to describe the moment and I’ll talk, and I try to talk when the artist isn’t singing, but sometimes I have to get a point across. I’m like, wait, you’re going to open the doors right here.
And stop talking. I can’t hear the song. I’m like, like
Serena: you
Dominic: couldn’t listen
Serena: to the song
Dominic: somewhere else. It’s only 30 seconds of the song anywhere where you’re like, Oh, this is my jam. Turn it up. Go any other format. But the reason I’m doing this is to describe the moment that they can’t, again, they can’t detach.
They’re like, stop talking. I can’t hear the song. I’m like, okay.
Serena: So I’ll just sit there. They
Dominic: expect me just to sit here and say, play. Yeah. That’s going to do well. That video will do really well.
Christa Innis: I’ve had like, some people just comment, like, What a waste of time watching this. Or they’ll be like, dumb skit.
And I’m like,
Serena: thanks.
Christa Innis: And I’ll just be
Serena: Like, thanks, Pamela. Yeah. And also you watch the whole thing. Right. So like, That’s on you. Sorry, you wasted your time. Yeah, you could have just scrolled and kept going. I mean, I know it really is. We love social media for what it’s done for our business and the connections we have made, but there’s a lot of yucky, you know, that you really have to like, put on a thick skin sometimes.
Christa Innis: Those keyboard warriors.
Serena: Yeah, unfortunately, it brings out really just some bold people. I don’t know why. They don’t understand that they’re like people. That’s what I said about the Facebook post. I was like, I hope our bride doesn’t see this. That was like my concern because I know them well enough that she would roll her eyes I’m sure but like it’s just There’s people on the other side of what you’re saying, right?
Like sometimes they’re so nasty and it’s just like,
Dominic: But she’s the bride. She’s not on Facebook. It’s okay.
Christa Innis: Exactly. Oh my gosh. That is crazy. Okay. So before we end, cause I know we’re getting kind of over on time here. I don’t want you to take up too much of your guys’ time. So I want to end with our weekly confessions game. So these are confessions that people send me on Instagram that Sometimes they have to do with weddings, sometimes they don’t.
So we’re going to see what we get. Um, we like to call it the drama Yeah, drama meter. Where we’re going to say like, rate them from 1 to 10. Or just respond to like, how crazy it is or if it reminds you of something. Okay, this first one says, I stole back my bouquet when the uninvited guest at my wedding caught it.
Serena: Well, the thing, the thing I would say is usually we have a separate bouquet so the bride can keep that bouquet, right? Cause like, usually the bride, like,
Dominic: A tossed bouquet.
Serena: So, I don’t have a problem with her wanting to keep her own bouquet, I guess it is like.
Dominic: Yeah, probably shouldn’t have thrown it in the first place.
Christa Innis: Well, I’m wondering if she just worded it as my bouquet, but I’m wondering if it actually was the toss.
Serena: Okay, so in that case, that’s, I mean,
Dominic: If you had one of your bridesmaids or your sisters and gays and you’re like, Oh, I want them to catch it. And then you’re like, And then this chick over here wasn’t even invited.
I mean, I can see how you’d be mad,
Christa Innis: but yeah,
Dominic: I give it a four, maybe
Christa Innis: a five. It’s like a whole layer of like, what happened? Why did you not like? Did they try to get invited and you knew they were coming or yeah, it’d be kind of crazy. Um, Okay, we’ll do one last one before we end because I know i’m again taking taking too much Um, let’s see.
Okay. This person says this might be like a hot take actually If I buy you a shower gift, I am not going to buy you a wedding gift I mean,
Serena: I don’t even know why That’s like, like making that a thing, like then don’t, like, I don’t know, like people do or don’t bring gifts to weddings all the time, right?
Dominic: Like I invited the shower. I’m not inviting you to the wedding.
Christa Innis: I know. I think I would personally be like, then I’m just not going to go to the shower.
Like if I don’t want to. Gifts. Like, cause I don’t feel right about going to a shower and not bringing something or going to a wedding and not giving a gift. I feel like it’s two different events, but I get it. It’s a lot of money. It’s expensive. I don’t
Serena: now. Just like in my mind, if I had a certain budget that I could spend on their gifts, I would just get something that like one for each split, you know what I mean?
And like, or, or just put a card in the card box for them at the wedding. Just the sentiment is the
Dominic: The person knew how much. Weddings cost. They would be like, okay, well, I’ll give you a glass of wine at the shower, but you can’t drink anything at the wedding. You know how much money, or in your meal, I mean, everybody has a dollar sign on their head that it tends and it is steep, right?
I’d pay for that chair you’re sitting in, by the way.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What I don’t get is like when people act like they, if they’re invited to something, they have to go and they have to spend this money. Like I saw someone say, Oh, destination weddings are so selfish. And it’s like, If you’re invited, you don’t have to go.
Serena: Yeah, absolutely. It’s not about you. Right. Like this is what the couple has chosen to do and you are invited, which means you can decline.
Dominic: Yeah, absolutely. Give your opinions.
Serena: Make it feel bad for having a desk. I’ll
Dominic: give you my response with a heavy dose of guilt.
Christa Innis: Yeah, exactly. Well, thank you guys so much for coming on.
It was so fun meeting you guys and chatting with you. You guys have a lot of great stories and hot takes. Um, if you guys can just again, share where people can find you on social media, all your great content and, um, anything up and coming for you guys.
Serena: Yeah for sure. so on TikTok, we are a wedding duo on Instagram.
We are at the dot wedding duo you can find us, our Website is the wedding duo. co not. com gets really confusing with that. We do have our new membership for engaged couples that is available through our website, which is where we share exclusive videos and lessons on all things weddings. We go live inside the membership.
Dominic: It’s really, if you’re a DIY bride, download the app and join our membership. It’ll be really good. We have a podcast too.
Serena: We do. Awesome. It’s not as fun as yours. I mean, it’s informative, but yours is just, it’s fun.
Dominic: We have
Serena: fun. It’s so much fun chatting with you. So, yes.
Christa Innis: This is awesome. Well, yeah, like I said, I love your guys content and I was always seeing it on Instagram and I was like, they would be perfect to come on and chat with because you guys are in the industry, you know, what’s up, you’ve got those stories, so thank you so much again for coming on.
It was so great. And, uh, I can’t wait to share. Woohoo.
Dominic: Fabulous. It was good. Let
Christa Innis: I just stopped this. If I can remember.
Mother-in-Law Drama: Wedding Secrets, Demands, and Hot Takes with Suzanne Lambert
When your future mother-in-law demands to crash your bachelorette party, you know the drama is just getting started.
That’s just one of the bold wedding hot takes Christa Innis and Suzanne Lambert—a DC-based comedian, writer, and content creator whose sharp wit and strong opinions have earned her a dedicated following—tackle in this episode of Here Comes the Drama.
From setting boundaries with overbearing in-laws to debating dress codes and cash gifts, no topic is off-limits. Suzanne brings her sharp wit to the chaos of wedding culture—why some brides treat their big day like a year-long holiday and the awkward reality of forced wedding party invites.
Plus, they react to jaw-dropping listener confessions, from toxic family members to wedding guests who just don’t get it. If you love wedding chaos, hot takes, and unfiltered humor, this episode is for you!
Tune in as Christa and Suzanne break down the good, the bad, and the truly outrageous moments from weddings gone wrong.
Episode Chapter Markers
00:00 Introduction
02:33 Wedding Culture and Boundaries
04:52 Wedding Hot Takes and Dress Codes
11:39 Wedding Drama and Unpopular Opinions
32:20 Victim Mentality and Misunderstandings
34:48 Silent Treatment and Family Dynamics
36:15 Confrontation in the Pantry
47:57 Wedding Dress Shopping Drama
Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments
- The unrealistic expectations placed on brides and why “Bridezilla” is often just a woman setting boundaries.
- Why do some people turn every holiday into an excuse to post their wedding photos?
- The hilarious (and sometimes cringe-worthy) wedding traditions that should be left in the past.
- The great wedding guest dress code debate – should weddings have strict guidelines?
- The audacity of guests demanding freebies and influencers expecting comped wedding services.
- Why is wedding culture often riddled with passive-aggressive family dynamics, and how to handle them?
Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode
- “People have a real problem with women sticking up for themselves.” – Suzanne Lambert
- “The behavior you allow is the behavior that will continue.” – Suzanne Lambert
- “Do you want people to look good and feel good in your photos? Because that’s what’s important, not turning them into your aesthetic props.” – Suzanne Lambert
- “ I feel so bad for these brides because they can’t stand up for themselves and they need someone like that” – Christa Innis
About Suzanne
Suzanne Lambert is a DC-based comedian, writer, and content creator known for her sharp wit and unfiltered takes on everything from politics to pop culture. She started performing comedy in 2018—despite (or rather, because of) an ex-boyfriend who said he’d dump her if she did. Since then, she’s taken the stage at acclaimed venues like the DC Improv, Laughing Skull, Arlington Drafthouse, Side Splitters, and the legendary Friars Club. Suzanne has performed alongside top acts like Mark Normand, Katherine Blanford, and Tony Woods.
Her comedic style blends amused bewilderment with strangely strong opinions on the most unexpected topics. A Georgia native, she carries a Southern charm laced with biting humor and a deep appreciation for the absurdity of modern life. Beyond the stage, she keeps audiences laughing on TikTok (@itssuzannelambert), where her content has been featured in Newsweek and CNN.
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Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.
Submit your story today: Story Submission Form
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A Team Dklutr Production
Blog Transcript:
Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Christa Innis: Hi, Suzanne. Thank you so much for coming on. I’m so excited to talk to you. So, for anyone who doesn’t know, you can just tell us a little bit about you. And at first, I have to say, I love your content. I love how witty and narky. I don’t even know how you would describe it, but you’re so quick-witted.
And when I found you, I was like, this is an instant follow because it brings joy to my feed. I love it. I love that. Yeah. So just tell me a little bit about what you do. And, uh, I thought you’d be perfect for this.
Suzanne’s Journey From Wedding Critic to Viral Comic
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah, I’m so pumped to be here. Now I told you, but I started my comedy career really talking about wedding culture.
So, this is such a great fit, but my name is Suzanne Lambert. I’m a comedian, writer, and content creator. A lot of what I create content about is political, but we talk about all kinds of things. We talk about skincare; we talk about makeup. I’m a Georgia girl, and I live in DC, so I definitely have a Southern influence on a lot of my content, but I just really try to make people laugh at the end of the day.
And Have a little bit of fun and talk a little bit of shit. So
Christa Innis: I love that. Yeah. What I’m trying to do here with this podcast is share some crazy hot takes that people have when it comes to weddings and people who aren’t afraid to say what’s on their minds. And I feel like you emulate that pretty well.
And. I feel like you’re that friend that a lot of brides need when it comes to setting boundaries. Because a lot of these stories are crazy, either relatives coming in or a friend that tries to sabotage your wedding. And so I feel so bad for these brides, or it can be a story from a bridesmaid or whoever.
I feel bad for them because they can’t stand up for themselves, and they need someone like that.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah, totally. I’ve been in that position before, and we might get into it later where I’ve had to intervene on behalf of the bride and tell other people in the party or even tell people they’d hire that, ok, we need to do things a little differently because I think a lot of Brides are so afraid of coming off as a bridezilla don’t draw boundaries or stand up for themself when they need to. And then, of course, you see the reverse, where people are just acting all kinds of crazy. So there, Yes. It feels like there is, very often in-bein-between
Christa Innis: Oh yeah. It’s like you can’t win. ’cause even the stories were like I clearly show.
The bride’s family is maybe like an in-law, or something is being horrible to her, and they’re like, well, She’s a bridezilla because she said no plus ones or no kids, and it’s like, come on, right?
Suzanne Lambert: People have a real problem with women sticking up for themselves, And I’m like, if this was actually real life and you knew this person and you heard this was going on, there’s no way you would take that other person’s side.
But because they’re a bride. Are they automatically wrong? Like, no.
Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s insane. Like, sometimes my blood boils reading these stories because I’m just like, why do we have such hate towards these women? I read a crazy mother-in-law story yesterday where literally nothing the bride did could be right.
Like she could do anything, and this mother-in-law was terrible to her. And I’m like, why? It’s just that, misogynistic, like, I don’t know. Internal misogyny or something. I don’t know.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah. The boy-mom thing can be really weird. My mother-in-law is an angel. I’m so thankful. I didn’t have to deal with any of that from members of my family, thankfully, but I’ve seen it, , and it’s wildIt’ske absolutely wild.
Christa Innis: Yes. Oh my gosh. Yeah, same here. I can’t relate to that. I’m very sorry for the brides that have to. So I kind of wanna start off talking about some crazy stories and wedding hot takes right off the bat. So you said you used to cover, like talking about the wedding industry, crazy things you’ve seen at weddings.
Is there something that comes to mind where you’re like, this was insane, or just a strong take you have on weddings?
Wedding Social Media Habits That Make No Sense
Suzanne Lambert: Oh, so many. This is more broadly, like, culture, and it’s just funny, right? I find it hysterical that people will use any excuse to post their wedding photos.
Like, all of a sudden, people are super passionate about it. Arbor Day. They’re like, in honor of Arbor Day, here’s a wedding photo by a tree. I’m like, just say you want to post your wedding photos, but don’t make up these weird holidays that you’ve never observed before in order to post that.
And I do think, to an extent, there is a limit to how many. Posts you get about your wedding before I’m muting you. I’m sorry, and it’s not because I’m not happy for you, and it’s not because you don’t look beautiful. Still, it’s like you deserve to take other photos of yourself that you love. You deserve to think about other things besides your wedding uh And also, this is another one, the countdown blocks, and apologies in advance to anyone who has done this, where it’s counting down the number of days to your wedding, like it’s Times Square on New Year’s Eve.
Yeah. I find those insane. I’m like, are you good? That just feels crazy to me. Especially because usually you have the apps that’ll tell you. How many days your wedding is in and you’re like, Oh my God, cause it’s so stressful. Right. I’ve been there. But the thought of physically rotating a block every day to let you know how many days there are until your wedding.
It couldn’t be me. It just couldn’t be me.
Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s funny because I got those as a gift, but I don’t think I ever displayed them or used them. And I think I ended up re-gifting them because I was like, and sorry if someone’s listening, that gave it to me. I’m sorry.
Suzanne Lambert: I was like, shit. Did someone give those to me?
I hope not. But I didn’t use them if you did.
Christa Innis: Well, yeah, and the thing, too, I feel like that it’s different is, my husband and I had already lived together for years before we got engaged and married. So, to us, it wasn’t, like, countdown till we move in, countdown till, I don’t know, we were already at that point.
So, it was just, for us, it was just, like, another step,
Suzanne Lambert: I guess. Yeah, it’s goofy to me, and to be clear, who cares what I think? If that makes you happy, do it. I do just when people post the pictures of the countdown of the wedding, I’m just, like Oh, we got to get you something else to think about to like, you can’t, that cannot be your sole focus.
Christa Innis: It can’t consume you. When you were talking about Arbor Day and posting a picture, something that I always think about is when someone posts to celebrate someone else in their life, but they use their wedding photo, dude, that’s the first thing when they’re like, happy birthday to my second cousin once removed.
But it’s them as a bride and then in a family photo and arrow. And I’m like, Oh,
Suzanne Lambert: No, the craziest one I’ve ever seen in my life. This younger girl in my sorority, I don’t think she follows me anymore, so she won’t see this. She posted about her maid of honor, so like her best friend, and they have a million photos to choose from.
She posted about her maid of honor on her maid of honor’s birthday, and the picture she chose. Oops. Was her, the bride, like, facing the camera, you know, beautiful. Her maid of honor crouched down on her hands and knees. You literally couldn’t see her face because she was fixing it.
The bride’s veil. No, and I call those I happy day posts, it’s like you made their birthday about your wedding and it’s hard because I and my best friends are so bad About taking photos legitimately I was with them this past weekend and I said if we don’t get a photo this weekend We have to text our exes and we get to pick which of our exes we have to text That’s how dire it is.
We do not take photos. So I understand sometimes there’s not a lot to choose from but what I did is I picked a solo picture of some of my bridesmaids and my bridesmaid I had bridesmen after my wedding and I posted that because yeah, I was at my wedding, but it was only them looking beautiful like I was nowhere in the photo because it’s a wild thing to do,
Christa Innis: right?
Yeah, you’re like professional photos. You don’t always get your friends. especially it’s like the sabotage photo It’s like when you go out with friends and you pick the ones where they all look bad, but you look really good, Right?
Suzanne Lambert: Come on. And it’s like maybe if you post one from your wedding and one from theirs side by side To me, that seems fine.
But if it’s just a few, that’s just like a wild thing to do. I could not be me. Yeah. It’s like you’re literally looking the most beautiful you’ll ever look in your life. And they’re also there.
Christa Innis: And they’re awesome. Yes. Oh man, I love that. okay. So kind of talking about wedding hot takes, here are just a couple of different prompts.
I want to get your opinion on it. Do you think weddings should have dress codes or should guests be free to wear whatever makes them comfortable?
Wedding Rules No One Talks About But Everyone Argues Over
Suzanne Lambert: Definitely a dress code. I think anywhere you can provide clarity as someone planning a wedding is crucial to a good guest experience. I didn’t go as far as to make a Pinterest board.
That felt like a little much to me. But I wrote down a dress code and then examples of what that would be for the rehearsal. even for our engagement party. We did that because I think otherwise they’re just going to text you and ask you. And it’s going to be really irritating and you’re going to have a million other things.
This is a hot take on top of that. I think black tie optional is a really tricky dress code. I understand that people don’t want to force people to wear a tux or whatever. But then you have girls. Well, do I wear a long dress? Do I wear a short dress? And I’ve been in that situation So I think wherever you can provide clarity it will always lead to a better experience for the guests and for yourself
Christa Innis: Yes, I know.
I’m always like that. person that’s like searching the website, like, what’s the theme? Because as soon as you get to a wedding and you’re like, oh, I didn’t realize it was going to be outdoor. I was going to be in a barn. Do you want to kind of dress the theme? Yes. Yeah. someone that gave too much detail probably, but I was like, I want people to know what to expect.
Suzanne Lambert: No, me too, and I guarantee you people still asked you, didn’t they? Yeah. Yeah, like, what’s the dress code? And you’re like, did you happen to see the FAQs that I painstakingly put together for this very purpose?
Christa Innis: Right, I also am someone that, like, yeah, I don’t come in a white, Fall gown or something to my wedding, but other than that, I’m like, what a weird thing to say.
Yeah, that seems kind of crazy of Hot take. That’s a bridezilla behavior. Right? But I’m like, if someone wanted to wear a bright red dress, I don’t care about that stuff. Like, they could have worn white to my bachelorette party and I would have been like, you look great.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah, it’s okay if your dress code is casual.
Like, that’s completely fine. If that’s your vibe, cool. Do what makes you feel good. But just let people know. Because being overdressed is a bummer. Being underdressed is a bummer. So just when people know what to expect, I think that’s always the best policy. Actually, I’ll let you keep going because I have so many hot takes that are coming to my head, but I’ll love it.
I’ll react to some more of yours. I love,
Christa Innis: I love that. So this is your opinion on cash-only gifts or explicitly asking for money instead of traditional presence, people are so contrary, like not controversial people I’ve noticed. Yeah,
Suzanne Lambert: I have seen no issue with that, If that’s what you want, I want to get you something you want. And honestly, I am not the best gift giver. I’m a gift card girl. Like I love giving people a gift card. I love receiving a gift card. So if you’re telling me all you want is cash, cool. To me, that’s great. I see nothing wrong with that, especially because a lot of people.
They’re trying to buy houses or pay off student loans, in the next lifetime. That would be nice. So I get just asking for money and we have plenty of knickknacks already.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I don’t get why some people get so, why don’t people like it? It’s so weird. Like, whenever I go to a wedding, I only bring cash.
Like I’m not going to bring in a big wrapped gift there, you know, showers are different. But, I was sharing about things like the honey fund or like Zola or not, people can just donate cash gifts or donate to your honeymoon or different things. And people were getting, in the comments, a certain generation, not a group, but they were like, I’m not paying for a honeymoon, and you’re not paying for a honeymoon.
If you gave someone 200 at their wedding, they could use it for Dishes, they could use it for sheets or they could go on a vacation, you know, why
Suzanne Lambert: no, don’t you like the person whose wedding you’re going to like, why wouldn’t you want to contribute towards their honeymoon? That’s so strange.
Christa Innis: I mean, you could buy them, whatever, and they could go return it and get cash for it.
So why does it matter what they end up using it for is my thing. I’m like, yeah.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah, just for the sake of tradition. And you know what, if you want to buy them a little knick-knack like we had a few people buy us things off the registry. I didn’t care. Like, whatever. If you saw something and it made you think of me and you thought I would like it and you brought it to me.
That doesn’t bother me. I’m appreciative to get a gift either way But if you want to get them something physical you always could do that if that really mattered to you for some reason That’s beyond my understanding
Christa Innis: I know I don’t get upset about things like that
Suzanne Lambert: And again, I don’t know who has done this. I don’t even know if you have done this. Um, I think the wedding color code is bananas. When you are putting out Pantone codes on your wedding invitation, so people wear corresponding shades of lavender and blue, what’s happening? What, what’s going on?
I’ve seen people do it where they ask people to wear all black. That makes a little more sense to me. But I still just can’t get behind stripping people of their individuality. So that they are matching the aesthetic of a wedding. Yes. I think that’s crazy.
Christa Innis: I know, I honestly didn’t know that was a thing when I started making this wedding content.
And I would see it, like, come up in my feed or something and I was like, wait, people actually do this? Do they want their photos to look a certain way? I’m like, that’s over the top. Yeah. Like, sorry guys, you can’t wear that bright pink, but you can wear this dim pink that’s a little dusty and a little, I’m like.
No, too much.
Suzanne Lambert: Right, we require people to wear uniforms? And people don’t like how they look in that color. And not everyone’s color season is the same. Not everyone should be wearing a muted cool tone, right? that’s not, do you want people to look good and feel good in your photos?
That’s what was important to me. I let my Full bridal party be like picking your tuxes and picking your dresses. I gave them a few very reasonable parameters but I want you guys to look hot and I want you to feel hot and have fun because I’ve been to weddings where There’s one where I legitimately looked like I was a middle-aged pioneer woman.
It was so And that was the bride’s goal, by the way, like she did not want us to look good. She was kind of open about that, which I guess I can appreciate to a certain extent. But I looked so bad, and it affects your ability to have fun because you just don’t feel cute, Yeah. That was that hot take.
Whenever you mentioned dress codes, I was like, I gotta bring up the color palette.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I like how, You see more and more weddings now allowing individuality between their bridesmaids. I basically had a website and was able to pick any dress from this website. I had a nice family of colors.
always in the same family. but I was like pick a style that’s good for your body type or that you feel more comfortable in. Yeah. Because I’ve seen weddings where they have everyone in the same Superfitted dress and it doesn’t matter what size you are. Sometimes you just don’t want a super fitted dress.
No, I’m not a body
Suzanne Lambert: You will not see me in a bodycon. Like it just isn’t for me Yeah, it’s like you want people to feel good what they’re wearing
Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s uh, my parameters were
Suzanne Lambert: like no super plunging necklines because I had one and then no super high slits also because I didn’t have a super high slit, but I had a slit
and no strapless mostly because it was December and I just didn’t want strapless dresses. like, it was very easy for people to pick something they would actually like.
Christa Innis: Yes. And it’s totally normal to have some guidelines for your wedding party.
Yeah. They are going to be in most of the photos and everything, but to have your guests between some parameters is.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah. It’s bananas. And to me, it sets a negative vibe for the wedding: you’re micromanaging what the guests are going to be wearing. and I’ve never been invited to such a wedding.
My friends would never ever do something like that,
Christa Innis: but
Suzanne Lambert: I feel like it would make me feel like I was on high alert.
Christa Innis: You
Suzanne Lambert: know, unsettled kind of,
Christa Innis: Like, Oh, I’m gonna take my hair down. Wait, am I allowed to wear my hair down? Yeah. Am I, are these earrings okay?
Suzanne Lambert: Like literally, yeah. and it was so funny and you see that creep into even like.
guests, almost like paranoia. So everyone in my wedding wore black. someone came up to me at the wedding. So sweet. They were like, I’m so sorry. I had no idea your bridesmaids were wearing black. I wouldn’t have worn black. I was like, Oh no, no, no, no. It’s so okay. I cannot believe you feel like you have to think about that, but it’s all good.
It’s the most common. I feel like it’s made people a little skittish.
Christa Innis: Oh yeah, for sure. I showed up to a wedding once wearing the exact same colors of bridesmaids and it was like a cranberry Merlot colored dress. I was mortified.I didn’t say anything, but I was like, Oh my gosh.
but it was like a January wedding. So it’s very normal for that time of year. So I was like. No one said anything. Yeah, like you would
Suzanne Lambert: have no way of knowing. I know people are trying to be polite because you see people who do care about the color palette.
But people were texting me asking me, What color the bridesmaids were wearing so that they didn’t accidentally match them, and I’m just like ah Like it doesn’t it matter like I don’t care, but I know Other people do but it just leads to like more annoying messages to have to respond to for the bride You know because there’s been this weird tenseness, I don’t know if that’s a word, created around wedding
Christa Innis: culture these days.
Totally. Yeah. It’s such a spectrum. It’s insane. okay. So this next part is. Pick a side. So the wedding drama debate. So people are sending me their unpopular opinions. So let me know what you think about these. Um, this first one says just because your family is invited doesn’t mean you’re invited.
Suzanne Lambert: Hell yeah.
Completely agree. especially if you are paying for the wedding yourself. Um, I do think if you’re getting financial assistance from your family for your wedding, do think they have some say, um, but it’s like a second cousin, um, Twice removed. I absolutely don’t think that they need to be invited.
And I also think I would rather not get financial assistance from my family and pick who I wanted to be there than invite a bunch of random people who I don’t actually want to be there. And my husband and I did pay for our own wedding. So we were able to choose. Exactly who we wanted to be there and it made the experience so much better.
But yeah, I completely agree with that.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I feel like this is a common thing where if someone wants to pay and there’s strings attached, then it’s just not worth it. We had some assistance from both parents, but we paid for a good portion. And we had some
Suzanne Lambert: to clarify.
I definitely had some and my in-laws paid for the rehearsal dinner and my parents paid for my dress, and again, any contribution they made. Right. Lookout is very generous. So I just did want to clarify that. I guess my mom hears this. She’s like, wait a second. You’re like, hold up. Yeah. Yeah. But go ahead.
Christa Innis: Yeah. No, but I was going to just say like, but because I have a respectful relationship with both my in-laws and my parents, I reached out and I was like, hey, send me your list of who you want. but I see these stories where it’s like they have a terrible relationship with the in-laws and they’re like, well, we’re paying for this.
You need to invite all these people. And it’s like, that’s not how it works.
Suzanne Lambert: No. You need to be
Christa Innis: respectful both ways, I think.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah, it’s tough because if they’re giving you financial assistance, I do think they deserve some say, but that’s just a crappy attitude to have, that you would give someone money with strings attached if it’s someone where not only is there not a relationship, but if, there’s a bad relationship, I think you should prioritize the people you love most in your life.
And I think family is who you make it. So it doesn’t need to be someone related to you by blood. And just because you were invited to theirs. It doesn’t mean it needs to be reciprocal either. So
Christa Innis: 100%. Okay. And this next one says, if I have to travel far for a wedding, I won’t be giving you an expensive gift.
Suzanne Lambert: That’s fine. Yeah. Yeah. I think Don’t go into debt for my wedding. Like please don’t be having debt collectors knocking on your door so that you can come to my wedding and give me a gift. Then you’re also gonna have a grudge against me that I Don’t even know about.
the bride and groom are not keeping a mental tally in their head of, oh, well, they gave me a gift and they didn’t. And if they are, that’s weird. Then they’re buying you for a dollar amount. Yeah, yeah, a hundred percent. And I’ve heard, you should cover your plate, whatever.
I don’t agree with that. Either. I think people should give what they can afford and what they want to give.
Christa Innis: I think there’s totally different levels to it. But, yeah, for my own wedding, anyone that was flying in, I was like, I don’t want them to give me a gift. I don’t expect it because they’re paying for a flight.
They’re paying for a hotel. all on my dad’s side, they all had a fly in, so they’re paying a lot of money. And so I’m like, I don’t expect any extra gift from you guys. No.
Suzanne Lambert: agree. And everyone had to fly for mine too. Well, almost everyone. I think there were like four people who didn’t have to.
And also, for the rehearsal and the welcome party and of course the wedding, we paid for all the food, all the alcohol, transportation. So once people stepped foot into our wedding weekend, they weren’t spending any additional money. And that was really important to us is like, yeah, we’re not trying to put people.
Because I remember being in my early 20s, going to four weddings a year because I’m from Georgia and you get married as soon as you graduate college, essentially. so I remember being in that situation and I was like, we’re not going to do that to people who are coming to our wedding.
That’s also why we had a longer engagement so that we could save longer and provide that experience.
Christa Innis: yeah, definitely. I think someone where before I go to a wedding, I know what I’m going to give. I’ve heard of crazy stories where like, they go and they see what the wedding’s like first and someone literally just told me this story a few months ago, or a friend of theirs at a wedding was like, Based on what they got for appetizer and like the setting, that’s what they gave back.
And I was like, no, that’s so
Suzanne Lambert: funny. They’re like, well, it was French onion soup. If it had been lobster bisque, I would have given you an extra. this doesn’t get that much love from me. That’s such a funny thing.
Christa Innis: It’s so odd what people think about. I’m like, how close am I to this person? And spreadsheet at dinner like, okay, this is
Suzanne Lambert: worth this
Christa Innis: amount.
This is
Suzanne Lambert: That’s wild. Yeah, like
Christa Innis: It’s crazy.See what you can afford if you’re close to the person who does that. I don’t know. Yeah,
Suzanne Lambert: I did not invite a wedding to get gifts and, or I didn’t have a wedding to get gifts and money, right? If I wanted money, I wouldn’t have had a wedding.
I would have just saved the money I spent. Yes.
Christa Innis: I have such a problem when it feels like you are just a number at a wedding. Yeah. And you’re only invited to be there. So like, In my early twenties, I felt like I was such a people pleaser. if I got invited to a wedding, I was like, we have to go or like a bridal shower, but then I was like, I got a little bit older, I was like.
Barely friends with this person. Why would I go to their bridal shower and they told me there for a gift. It was just kind of weird. Yeah. So I was like, no, I’m only gonna go to someone’s that I would want at mine. Or we have a good relationship. Totally. Completely agree. All right, let’s jump into today’s or this week’s crazy story.
Mother-in-Law Never Heard of Boundaries and It Shows
So these are blind reactions. I don’t read them ahead of time. And so we’re just going to react together. So feel free to stop me or interrupt me at any time. I’ll pause too. and we’ll see what happens. Perfect. Okay. My fiance and I got engaged in April and have been so excited about planning our wedding for next September. Before we even got engaged, his mother had been supportive, often teasing my fiance about proposing because his grandmother said it on her deathbed.
Love, love, love that
Suzanne Lambert: ally in grandma. She’s like, I got you girl. Yeah, she’s like, one last thing. Yeah. Iconic.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Anyways, she was very excited in general. So when we did get engaged, we called her from Ireland to tell her that he had proposed. In the same breath as saying congratulations, she couldn’t even finish her sentence before asking, can I go dress shopping with you?
I only have two sons. Okay. At the same time, I thought it was innocent excitement coming through. Looking back, I should have known where it might lead. Even when we were leaving that trip engaged for only two days, we told her that we had tentatively picked a city. We actually had already chosen the venue, but we didn’t want to share it yet due to her tendency to voice strong opinions.
Uh Huh, , . Yeah. So they kind of knew it was coming. Sure. She immediately started complaining to family members about the location. We chose, oh, here we go. Months passed. And by June, Father’s Day weekend, we had both sides of the family over. My parents, his grandpa, his mother. His aunt from his mom’s side during dinner.
His mom starts asking me for the address to the venue. I asked why? First of all,
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah, Google Maps exists. If she already knew the venue at this point,
Christa Innis: right? just look, I feel like it’s just to make a. Point being like,
Suzanne Lambert: tell me that she drags. My family, Irish Catholic, like it’s, passive aggression is our second language.
That’s exactly what she’s Same here. She wants to say something, but she’s not gonna say it, so she’s gonna ask you a weird question that she could easily, like, look up the
Christa Innis: information herself. Yes. Oh my gosh, the passive regression. Yes. Um, I asked why because I’d already sent the information when we finalized the venue.
Right. There we go. She said she deleted her texts and didn’t have it anymore. Who deletes
Suzanne Lambert: their texts? Like First of all, not, not a mother of that specific age group. They’re not deleting their texts. Second of all, you remember where it is? Like, are you in the CIA? Why are you deleting all your messages?
Not sketchy. Weird. That alone is, yeah.
Christa Innis: Yeah. She wanted to visit the venue. I explained it’s a private property, not open for tours, and even my fiance and I hadn’t seen it in person yet. Instead of understanding, she doubled down. Just send me the address. It’s fine.
Suzanne Lambert: No, it’s actually not. It’s not fine, actually.
Christa Innis: I don’t get the, like, aggressive, like, she went from passive to, like, now she’s aggressive. I don’t get that aggressive, like, I’m telling you what’s happening here.
Suzanne Lambert: Right. Like, whose wedding is this? And all that that’s going to do for most rational people, it just makes me not want to give you what you want, even if I would have been inclined to do it before.
Now I’m definitely not going to like it. I’ll actively go out of my way to make sure you never get that. I’d like to censor it from all of your maps apps. Like that’s how petty I am
Christa Innis: Yeah, the day of the wedding you’ll have a car just pick you up and you’ll be black
Suzanne Lambert: Like actually though. Oh, wow. I cannot. I’m so excited to see where this goes.
Christa Innis: It’s insane. Um instead of uh, I lost my place. Okay. Um, okay. She um Yeah. So she kept pressing until the entire room was visibly uncomfortable. When I said no, she started making excuses like, well, how am I supposed to know where to book hotels? We were 15 months out from the wedding, and I had already planned to arrange a room block closer to the date.
I assured her everything was nearby, but she continued to repeat, just send me the address. I’ll drive by. Okay. Fiance
Suzanne Lambert: needs to intervene. I’ll say that. Yeah. Where, like, where is he? Step in. Yeah. Where’s he at in the mix? He needs to step in and be like, hey mom, you’re doing that thing again. Knock it off.
Christa Innis: It’s the, it’s time. I know you’re a boy mom. Like, let’s. Right. And at
Suzanne Lambert: first I thought I was on the mom’s side because she asked if she could go dress shopping. I only have two sons. I’m like a girl. I want a daughter so bad. If, and when we have kids. So like. I understand that being top of mind, and I’m like, okay, yeah, I get it.
But this is not going the way that I thought it was gonna go.
Christa Innis: Yeah, it turned so quickly.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Um, each time I said no, she came back with, I might go in, or I’ll just pop by. She then pivoted to my bachelorette party, nudging my mom and saying, Aren’t you so happy we’re going on our bachelorette? Oh, no. We? We
Suzanne Lambert: speak French now?
Why, who’s we? No, that’s not. What world is she living in? And do you know, like the kind of things you talk about at bachelorette parties and like often the activities and like paraphernalia that you’re wearing? Like I went to one, my best friend married my brother and like, you know, it’s bad enough sometimes kind of hearing about, you know, your brother and his.
And now wife’s, you know, sex life, like those are the things you talk about at bachelorette parties. Do you want to be hearing that about your son? It concerns me that you might. From what I’m hearing, I
Christa Innis: Maybe. I feel like some mothers like this don’t care and they like to be involved in that. But like this is even the weirdest story.
Like I’ve heard so many where you’re just like, Boundaries. Like Are you into your son? Like that’s, that’s what I’m getting.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, Yeah, it’s so, I don’t know, it’s, it’s so weird. Um, at, I was confused and said, oh no. At this point, I was so uncomfortable from the conversation earlier that I firmly told him it wasn’t happening.
Oh no, that’s
Suzanne Lambert: So funny. Oh no. Oh no. That’s hilarious. That’s the best thing she could have said at that moment. I’m really proud of her. Yeah.
Christa Innis: She brushed it off by saying, It’s fine, we’ll do our own thing. My mom, knowing my plans to take a trip with friends, fully supported me. Like, what? Yeah, you’ll do
Suzanne Lambert: your own thing called, You’re not coming, babe.
Yeah. You’ll do your own thing called, You’re gonna go to Bridge and Bunko and hang out at your house like you would’ve been doing cause you’re not a part of this. Yeah. What? What’s happening?
Christa Innis: Oh my god, Bunko, I’ve not heard that name, that word, in so long.
Suzanne Lambert: That came out of the far archives of my brain.
Never have I once played a game of Bunko, but I feel like that’s still very much in the scene.
Christa Innis: Yeah. The day dragged on with her pushing topics like the China set from her deceased aunt and other things. That’s the whole story. Okay, I’ll
Suzanne Lambert: hear more about China. I’m like, I’m listening. What’s going on with that?
I’ll take some antique China. I’m not mad at the hat to be clear.
Christa Innis: Um, at one point, she had a bit to drink. She cornered me in the kitchen, completely unaware of how annoyed I was. She said, Is this my
Suzanne Lambert: ex boyfriend’s mom? Cause I actually was thinking, I wonder if she’s drinking. Um, and then when you said that, I’m like, Who wrote this?
Is this
Christa Innis: my ex’s
Suzanne Lambert: mother? Oh no. It all sounds very familiar. Well, I’m glad it’s an ex. You and I, you and I both.
I think my lucky stars every day, trust me,
Christa Innis: Oh God, I’m dead. Okay. Um, so she called me in the kitchen and she said, aren’t you just so happy I’m going to be your mother in law and not insert difficult family members here. So she’s blocking the name out. I looked her in the eyes and said, um, I don’t know if this is the person’s real name, so
I’m trying to think of, like, a crazy name. Um, Barb. Barb, I’m okay right now. But if you keep pestering me about things, I’m going to the venue. I’m not going to be okay. I added, this is my boundary. She didn’t seem to register at the time. But, oh, did she later.
Suzanne Lambert: Okay, Therapy. I love that. Yeah, we love boundaries.
I would love it if the fiancé was setting some. Um, and I’m annoyed on her behalf that she’s having to do it all herself. But I’m very proud of her for saying that. That’s not easy to say. Bye bye. Yeah.
Christa Innis: Especially when you’re being cornered because it sounds like she’s alone with this mother. Like why is no one around?
And that’s what they
Suzanne Lambert: do. I feel like people like this, like they want to get you alone at your most vulnerable, where you don’t have a chance to really, really think things through. So that’s impressive thinking on your feet.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. I would be shaking in my boots. I’d be like, is this actually happening right now?
I’m that person that in a scenario, I’m like, Why is this happening? And then like a minute later, I’m like, why didn’t I say that? I should have said that. Or as I’m saying it, I’m like, you know what? And boundaries that I’m like, shaking. And I’m like, that’s okay. I’m like,
Suzanne Lambert: Ooh, maybe we shouldn’t have gone that hard.
Maybe we take a deep breath. My yoga instructors, like generator response, feel powerful choosing. And I’m like, generator response, you feel powerful choosing when I like to spout off. So we all, we all have our struggles. Yeah. I probably would have been like, Yeah, I don’t know, crazy family members sounding pretty good right about now, and like, it would have started a whole thing, so.
Christa Innis: Yeah, um, my, okay. My fiancé and I discussed how upset we were with the day, okay, so now, now he’s around, um, and how comfortable she had made things. He was very supportive and felt the same way. Two days later, can you hear that when my earphones buzz?
Suzanne Lambert: No, uh, I only could when you did that, and it did cut out for like just a second, but we’re back, it looks like.
Oh,
Christa Innis: weird. Maybe it’s my headphones just dying. Okay. Anywho. Um, he was very supportive and felt the same way two days later, he called her to address it, telling her that her behavior was unfair and made everyone uncomfortable. She exploded saying, is this why I’m going to change her name again? Is this why Kelly doesn’t like me?
And hung up. She then gave us science by right. Like, yeah, the girl that wrote the story. Yeah. Okay. Like, huh? What, what gave it away? Like, are you
Suzanne Lambert: acting? Like, so there’s a level of awareness. Like, it’s so funny because my mother in law’s like this. they get there, right? They get, oh, Kelly doesn’t like me, but they don’t see any of the lead up to anything they could have done.
They look at it as a spontaneous event.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert: It’s like, oh, all of a sudden, and all of a sudden she didn’t like me. And it’s like, are you forgetting the a hundred things you did before she reacted the one time
Christa Innis: or, or the time that they finally like to snap back. It’s they’re so mean. I don’t do anything wrong.
And it’s like, that was like the story I read yesterday. I’m like, Oh my god, this victim mentality of like, why would she say that to me? I’m just your mom. I just care so much. It’s like, no, that was not the full story. No,
Suzanne Lambert: because if you cared, you, you would be like, oh my god, I hurt your feelings. I’m so sorry about that.
Like that’s a normal way to do it. Can you imagine if someone called you and was like, Hey, at our engagement party, you made us feel bad and sad and whatever, like you would be horrified because you’re a normal person. Imagine like. Like, that’s why they don’t like me?
Christa Innis: Oh my god. Like, what?
Suzanne Lambert: I don’t understand.
And, like, if she had been like, oh, that’s why she doesn’t like me, that would be like such a different thing. Like, oh, okay. I didn’t realize how annoying I was being noted. You know? Won’t do it again. Yeah. Like, sometimes you need a little kick in the ass to be like, oh, I’m acting weird. Yeah. But that’s wild.
And then to hang up, I don’t believe in hanging up the phone, especially on your own son. Right. Right.
Christa Innis: Like, yeah. Um, oh, this is, hold on tight. This is a, this is a long one. I love this. Sorry, Nellie, but I’m living for this. This is crazy. Okay. She then gave us a silent treatment for three weeks. I bet it was a really nice three weeks.
Suzanne Lambert: That sounds lovely. That sounds like a vacation. Yeah. Silent treatment. That sounds ideal. She should do that more often and with others in her life. I would, I would imagine. That is beautiful.
Christa Innis: Best case scenario. I feel like in these scenarios, just keep it going, please. She even ignored my fiance’s birthday, which is two weeks after the incident.
Normally they talk every other day. So this was very shocking until then we had no issues. And I thought our relationship was fine. Her behavior was hurtful, especially to my fiance. Thankfully his aunt who witnessed everything supported us agreeing that his mom’s actions were out of line.
Suzanne Lambert: We had a wonder if the aunt is on the dad’s side or the mom’s side, cause that also kind of changes things a little bit.
It’s her sister. Hopefully the aunt is going to be like, You’re being nuts. If it’s the dad’s sister, she’s like, Oh, I’ve seen this from the beginning. One of us wanted him to end up with her. Like, we all wanted him to end up with the other girl, you know, like, that dynamic is interesting, too.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I know. Like earlier at the party, I think she said it was her. I think she said the mom’s sister or the mom’s side.
Suzanne Lambert: That’s like worse, honestly. Yeah. You know? Like, your own sister being like, yeah, but again, I hope that that, I hope the aunt is going to the mom. Like, if I saw my sister acting that way, or if they saw me acting that way, they would be the first to be like, hey, cut it out.
Christa Innis: Exactly. I’m going to take these off saying they’re dying already.
We had a 4th of July weekend. Okay. We had a 4th of July weekend planned at his family’s lake house, and she was supposed to join us.
She didn’t show up until the weekend was nearly over. When she arrived, there was no warm embrace, no belated birthday wishes for her son, just coldness. It’s like, why even come? It was incredible. Yeah. Awkward.
Suzanne Lambert: Cause she wants to have her Real Housewives moment. She thinks she’s on like Real Housewives of Orange County, like with a dramatic show up.
Girl, no one was worried. Yeah. No one was worried. They were like praying you didn’t come. Yeah, like, again, like, the silent treatment, the weekend without you, where we’re just like, chillin eating hot dogs, like, waving flags, like, it was all going really, the vibes were high, like, yes.
Christa Innis: Yeah, she likes, yeah, she wanted to come in with the sad music, everyone’s like, oh no, what’s, what’s wrong with Barb over there?
A fur coat.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah, like, mope dramatically around the house. Puffin and puffin Like, what we would do when we were sleeping. Seven and like our parents made chicken for dinner and we didn’t want chicken like that. She wanted spaghetti. She didn’t want chicken. So now she’s making it everyone’s problem.
Yeah.
Christa Innis: Oh my god. So true my fiance I decided we needed to address this. He pulled her aside in the pantry while I stayed around the corner I love, like, the sour cream and onion chips
Suzanne Lambert: listening in,
Christa Innis: you know? That seemed like the best
Suzanne Lambert: spot.
Christa Innis: Funny
Suzanne Lambert: setting for this conversation. I love that she added that in.
Christa Innis: Yeah, the pantry,
Suzanne Lambert: It really sets the scene. It’s like, this is dire. This is a dire situation.
Christa Innis: That was the quickest spot. He started by saying we wanted to resolve things, but she exploded again. She accused us of keeping the wedding a secret because we wouldn’t share the venue address. A narrative she created.
She claimed I had promised to send it to her and didn’t, saying she didn’t do shit. At that point, I stepped in the conversation and said, Well, it’s my turn to enter now! She is like, What?
Suzanne Lambert: Wait, the bride said that? The bride. She’s like, well, it’s my turn to enter now. Step through, step in, push those bagels aside, tell her how you feel, you know,
Christa Innis: I love this.
This isn’t like, I’m, we were just talking about how so many of these stories, like I feel like the bride is a people pleaser and just like, you know, tells a story and I feel so heartbroken for her. Yeah. This is like the first where I’m like, oh my gosh, yeah, she’s coming, she’s
Suzanne Lambert: ready to go. And it’s like the behavior you allow is the behavior that will continue.
And if I had to guess, cause I’ve seen this. a million times. The vibe growing up was like a super passive aggressive where the son probably just learned it was easier to just, you know, not react and let it go and ignore it. But like, it comes to a head in adulthood and especially during weddings. So I’m glad that she’s telling her.
What’s what?
Christa Innis: Yeah,
Suzanne Lambert: they’re
Christa Innis: very proud. Yeah, this is a big moment. Um, she stormed toward me, got inches from my face. How big is this pantry?
Suzanne Lambert: I’m like
Christa Innis: thinking
Suzanne Lambert: this like, I’m still, I’m like thinking about the pantry. I’m like, wow. Pantry envy. There’s like three people in there at this point. Storming.
I’m like, dang. Whose house was this? A rental? Like, I want to, I want to come check out this, this dramatic pantry. Yes.
Christa Innis: Um, she pointed a finger at me and screamed, how dare you talk to me that way? How dare you mention boundaries and make me out to be some kind of villain? Well, you said it. Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert: I mean, if you’re feeling it, I’ve been boundaries.
That’s She’s like, no, no, no, no, we don’t do those in my family. We don’t talk about that. You’re gonna learn.
Christa Innis: Yeah. You do what I say in this family. Yeah,
Suzanne Lambert: like, clearly, like, the very, like, the power dynamic between, like, parent and child is very important to her. Because when you’re saying things like that, you feel like she should be Obeying.
Christa Innis: Yes. Oh, yeah. I calmly asked, Are you really going to approach the conversation like this? She responded. Yep. I’m so mad. You have no idea what this has done to me. Oh, my God. Here we go. Okay. She said she would never have spoken to her future mother in law that way, in the way that I spoke to her. She claimed we were leaving her out of the wedding, which wasn’t true, and insisted that she was just teasing me.
Suzanne Lambert: What? Oh, they love to say things like that. Oh, it’s just a joke. Well, it wasn’t funny.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert: So what kind of money
Christa Innis: Just giving it to me is teasing her. And like, no, it no, it wasn’t. That’s not what teasing is. It’s only teasing until like You’re told like, that’s not okay, and then it’s like, oh, or no, it’s only, it’s not teasing until you’re told it’s not okay, and then you’re like, oh no, it was just a joke.
And if it
Suzanne Lambert: was just, and if it actually truly were just a joke, and someone’s like, like, I’ll, I’ll make jokes, you know, cause I, I like to kind of test the limits with the people around me and see how jokes will play out. I made a joke the other day, my husband did not appreciate it, and he was like, That’s not funny.
I’ll actually say it really quick. It was kind of funny. I was like, yeah, you know, I always said I was just gonna marry for money and I married for love. Like that was, that was dumb, right? Like laughing. And he’s like, yeah, sorry, you didn’t marry for money. And I was like, well, it’s not too late. And he was like, don’t do that.
And I was like, okay, okay, fair. Like, sorry. You’re right. Noted. Writing that one down. So if you actually are joking and someone doesn’t like it, it won’t offend you to say sorry, wasn’t a good joke, we’ll table that one for never, you know.
Christa Innis: Right, you don’t keep pushing and keep going and When it clearly was not a joke.
I don’t know why it keeps doing that to my face. I like
Suzanne Lambert: It’s dramatic. I know, it’s like,
Christa Innis: whoa!
Suzanne Lambert: To see like the clothes. I love it, I’m imagining cameras in the pantry. Like, I, it’s spitting. It’s a whole
Christa Innis: dramatic scene. Like, I’ve started kind of picturing these as like SNL skits sometimes. Like little sketches, you know?
And I’m like, oh my god, all the people in the pantry. Yeah. What if like the father in law comes
Suzanne Lambert: in? I’d be listening outside because I’m toxic. Like I would fully be like, I’d be like, Can I just get the hot dog buns? Like, I don’t, not trying to like cause a thing. You need everything in that pantry. You guys have all the food in there.
Like, we’re starving. There. Yes. Go in the garage.
Christa Innis: I’m so dramatic. I would do the same thing. I would probably be like, literally all the food’s in there. I’m starving. I will die if I don’t go into that pantry right now. And
Suzanne Lambert: I’d stay in and just like, like, watch what’s going on. You guys need a ref? Yes. I’m here.
Yeah.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. When I explained she made me uncomfortable, and that’s why I mentioned boundaries, she was appalled. She acted like I cussed her out, completely missing the point. The conversation dissolved. Devolved in her screaming while my fiance and I stood there stunned. Oh my gosh.
Suzanne Lambert: Ow.
Christa Innis: The next morning she returned to the cabin.
I knew I had to confront her because I felt so unsettled. I pulled her aside with my fiance present and said, the way you spoke to me was unfair, disrespectful, and beyond damaging. Um, you said, how dare you talk to your mother in law like that? And I say, Or maybe she said, and I say, how dare you speak to me that way?
How dare you
Suzanne Lambert: talk to your daughter in law like that?
Christa Innis: Right. You know? It’s like, it’s that older thing where they think like, you respect me no matter what. You owe them something. No. And it’s like,
Suzanne Lambert: no dude, that’s not how this is gonna go.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert: At all. That might have been how it was with my husband and you as his mom, but that’s not the kind of behavior that I tolerate, nor, nor should she.
Christa Innis: Yeah, yeah. It’s like, you didn’t raise me. I’m not your daughter.
Suzanne Lambert: God, therapy eludes these people, I swear. It’s like, just go to a therapist, lady. Like, you have some problems.
Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s always the people who need it. Yeah. People like that, like, never see that they’re the problem. Yeah, which seems
Suzanne Lambert: awesome. It seems like an awesome way to live.
Imagine never thinking you’re the problem and everyone else is. Mm hmm. Instead of, like, lying awake at night thinking about something I said to someone, like, over the weekend that was, like, harmless, but, you know, like, they’re, they’re just thinking everyone else is wrong and they’re right. Like, it seemed, I’m, I’m jealous.
I wish I didn’t have a conscience. It seems fantastic. It seems really easy, you know? Oh yeah, it must be really nice. Yeah. Teach us. Have her on next. Teach us how to have no conscience. You seem like you have a really easy life. Just not care about it.
Christa Innis: I will literally, like, look at someone the wrong way or say hi the wrong way and I’m like, Do they think I hate them?
Yeah. No, for
Suzanne Lambert: sure. Like, Or people will say things like, Oh, when I met you, I thought you were, you know, one way. And I’m like, oh crap. Like, is that the vibe I’m putting out? You know, like, I hate to think about, like, actually genuinely hurting people if, like, they’ve done nothing wrong, you know? Like, it’s Right.
It’s crazy.
Christa Innis: Yes. Uh, for two She says, For two years, I’ve dedicated my time and energy to your son and your family, and you have no right to treat me like this. I started crying as I spoke, and my fiancé stepped in to back me up. She tried to apologize and hug me. I’d be like, don’t touch me, but I was overwhelmed.
I could barely respond. Eventually she left saying, I’m happy. We talked,
I would be, I’d be more mad at
Suzanne Lambert: that. I think. Oh, that’s icky. Like, I’m not a therapist, thankfully. That would be bad, but like, that, it’s like, you wanna, she wanted to break her down until she was at her lowest possible point. So in a way, she, the mother in law, like, got what she wanted. Is that the end of
Christa Innis: the story?
Um, there’s one more little paragraph.
Suzanne Lambert: Okay. Hold on. Pause on that. Like, that That’s wild and honestly, it makes me also feel sad for her fiance like what he went through growing up? If that was the kind of dynamic it’s like, oh, you’re only cool with me if I’m like unhappy, you know, like
Christa Innis: That’s why it’s such a weird mentality to me because like, you know, we were talking about like, you know, she’s like a boy mom.
So like, wouldn’t you be excited? Like, oh, I have a future daughter in law like we can do like girly stuff or whatever.
Suzanne Lambert: Yes.
Christa Innis: And so like, why is there like a competition or like rivalry? I don’t understand if you have boys or girls. I have a girl.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah. Okay. So yeah, so you can’t even like relate to the boy mom mentality, but I’ve always said like, I want a daughter, and I, I can’t have a gender reveal, well one, I just wouldn’t for personal reasons, but like, I couldn’t because if it weren’t a girl, like I know I would be like so sad, cause I love, I want a daughter so bad, and I love boys too, like I’ll be happy with either, whatever.
Yeah. But like, Especially if you’ve always wanted a girl, which it sounds like the mom did given that she was so excited to go wedding dress shopping. Wouldn’t you be like, Oh my God, I have to make this girl be obsessed with me. Yeah. I have to make her love me. Like my mother in law is, and she has one girl, but she has two boys, but she’s such a girl’s girl.
And she’s always like doing sweet things and being thoughtful. And like, she was amazing during the wedding process. And this girl deserves that. And I hate that she’s, like, clouded what’s supposed to be happy times with her wild, untheorized behavior.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I know. Same here. Like, my mother in law has an amazing style.
Like, she has better style than me. And she’ll be like, here, this is what I got, like, It’s like another girlfriend. Like, she’s so awesome. Totally. I need to
Suzanne Lambert: text mine back, speaking of crap. Gabby, if you hear this, I’ll text you back. I’m sorry. Um, yeah. No, I, I completely agree. God, and if I was this girl’s mother, I don’t know if this is, like, things on the fiancé’s side, but if I heard another grown ass woman talking to my daughter this way, I’d be like, listen, mother in law versus mother in law, like, this is wild.
Yeah, like, what’s, what’s the goal here? And what’s, and like, I don’t know, she hasn’t, she actually weirdly, maybe not weirdly, she hasn’t mentioned her future father in law. So I don’t know if there is a future father in law, or if he’s just so used to the behavior that he’s just defeated and doesn’t say anything.
But I’m like, surely this woman has someone in her life. That’s
Christa Innis: when you’re going
Suzanne Lambert: to stop acting this way.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I wonder if she’s like a widower or something, and so she’s like, Oh, my sons are all I have. Right. You know, that would make it even more intensified. Yeah. Cause I feel like guilt on the sons, but you need to take care of me.
But dang, I wish we could ask her, like, give us
Suzanne Lambert: more. But, uh, yeah, I feel like maybe she would have mentioned that if she were, but that’s, um, wow. That’s it. What a, I mean, I feel like
Christa Innis: With also this kind of strong personality, I feel like also the other option is that, like you said, the father in law is just exhausted.
He’s like, I don’t even fight with her anymore. We’ve been married for 30 years. I just sit in the back, you know, my recliner, which stocks,
Suzanne Lambert: It’s like, you can’t just give up, you know, just because you’re used to it. Other people aren’t used to it. This better
Unfiltered Takes
Christa Innis: end well, or I’m gonna be upset. Alright, let’s see.
It’s been almost two months since this incident. I’ve made an appointment to go dress shopping with my mom, my fiancé’s aunt, Okay, so it was like the sister, I think. Okay. Oh, and his mom. All present on that original incident deck in a few weeks. Okay, so she wrote this before this dress shopping thing happened.
So there might be another thing. I texted them and while everyone else was enthusiastic, her response was noticeably less so. It has been a nightmare, but I hope this story entertained someone. It definitely did. And then she said, part two coming soon questions. Yes! So I’m gonna have to reach out to her. I want to come
Suzanne Lambert: back for part two.
Oh my god, we should do that. Um, I am inviting myself. Wait, I want her, I want her to beat her at her future mother in law’s own game and try on the most outrageous, like, showiest, skankiest dresses that exist. Even if that’s not her style. And be, like, dead ass serious. Like, essentially, like, try on lingerie.
And be like, yeah, I love this one. Cause you know this mother in law will hate that. I also do not support her going. Um, I think that’s a bad idea. I actually went solo quite a few times before I went with anyone else because I had no idea what I liked and what I wanted.
Christa Innis: Um,
Suzanne Lambert: and I, and I liked doing it that way, but, um, I hope her mother in law is not the type to like body shame.
I mean, it definitely sounds like she is. Yeah. Um, Oh, I don’t want her to be invited, but I hope if she does go that she has a little fun with it and she just tries on really ugly, crazy tacky dresses.
Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s like my thought is like, she’s like, okay, let’s just move forward now, but it just sounds like the mother in law never actually apologized.
And so I feel like she should lose privileges to like come to things then because yeah, you’d want to be comfortable like you’re trying on your wedding, future wedding dress possibly. So right.
Suzanne Lambert: And she needs a mean friend to go with her. I’ll go with her. She needs someone who will be like, If you say one more thing like that, Judy, you’re like, you’re out or like, honestly, she should even like Warren, the bridal stylist and the people who work at the salon, like my mother in law’s crazy, please intervene where necessary, but she needs someone who’s going to vouch.
Yeah. For her.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Because it can’t be an engagement party or whatever, the cookout was like part two where the mother in law is saying stuff to her and everyone’s just watching. And
Suzanne Lambert: phones need to be forbidden because her mother in law absolutely sounds like the type to take a picture of the dress and post it on Facebook.
Yes. Like she will. And I’ve heard of them doing that. I’ve heard of mothers doing that.
Christa Innis: Yes. I literally just saw a story, um, actually Cassie, who, who was on like a few weeks ago, she, um, shared a story about an aunt doing that. She was shopping for dresses. Yes. Posted a picture, didn’t see anything wrong with it, and like, fought hard, and they were like, you can’t do that.
Like, you’re not involved in any other wedding stuff now. She needs to take her
Suzanne Lambert: phone and just like, throw it in the street. Like, cause that, she will do that, and she will also definitely verbally describe it to people, I’m sure. Oh yeah. Which you may or may not, I mean, verbalizing it is one thing, seeing it’s another, but.
Oh, I don’t like
Christa Innis: that. Yeah, I’m gonna have to follow up with her and then we’ll, it would be kind of cool if she’d want to come on and chat. Yes! People are like, they don’t want to see their, like, Heather face, but if I can figure out a way to like, we’ll have her
Suzanne Lambert: camera off. One of those things in like, the mystery shows where their like, back is facing and they’re backlit.
It’s like a deep voice or something. It’s like SVU. So not SVU, but like criminal mind or whatever. Yeah, it’s so funny. Yeah, a voice garbler. Oh my god She does it does sound like my who could have been my future mother in law. So I I know this type of woman all too well And it does not get better, unfortunately, uh, Yeah.
You just learn how to deal with it. And for the long haul, I guess.
Christa Innis: Yeah. But you gotta
Suzanne Lambert: beat them at their own game. So I think she should just try on a lot of really ugly dresses. And then, and then guess what? If she doesn’t find her dress at this, which I honestly hope she doesn’t, She did the thing. She checked the box.
She brought her mother in law with her. She can just go with her mom and the people of her choosing.
Christa Innis: Yeah. To the
Suzanne Lambert: next appointment. I mean, I had like, I don’t know about you. I think I was on my seventh visit to a bridal salon before I finally found one. Like, I didn’t try it on and find it immediately.
So I’m hoping that’s the case for her.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I honestly wish, like, looking back that I spent more time. I think I was just, I’m like such a Box checker like and I like it. But I did a lot of research online first. So I knew the exact style of Nice, and then I had like one day where I just bought like I brought my maid of honor one bridesmaid. My mom and my mother in law are very short and sweet.
I think I tried on like six dresses and I found it Oh, that’s awesome. Oh, that’s amazing. Yeah, I
Suzanne Lambert: don’t like wasting time. I’m just like let’s do it But I, efficient efficiency. Yeah. Like I, I, I liked my dress by the, I didn’t, I wasn’t like, I love it, but I liked it enough. I liked it enough, if that makes sense.
Like, I didn’t think I was gonna have the teary moment, like I just, me personally, I just wouldn’t have that over a wedding dress. And I think it’s amazing that other people do, and I have it over other people’s. Mm-hmm . But everyone else was crying, including my cousin Liz, who doesn’t cry. unless she’s like laughing at something and I was like, okay, if Liz is crying, this is like straight up.
So I hope that she will. She needs to have a force field around her to, like, protect her joy, um, and not let her mother in law say anything. And honestly, if her mother in law starts critiquing her, be like, oh, is this what we’re doing? You go try on some dresses and I’ll critique you next. Yeah. Surprise, mother in law.
Yeah. We can
Christa Innis: both do this. Oh my gosh, I love that. Okay, well that was a crazy story. Um, The way I like to end these, um, episodes is our weekly confessions game. So a couple people send me their confessions on Instagram, and I know we’re kind of going a little over time, so. That’s okay. We can move quickly.
Yeah, sorry, I’m a, I’m a gabber. No, I love it. This has been so much fun. I’ve been loving it. Um, so these are people, Instagram. Um, and so, let’s react to them. Okay. First one says, my mom, oh gosh, my mom called my husband, my ex fiancé’s name, on our wedding day.
Suzanne Lambert: Oh no! Did the husband hear? Like he knew it happened?
Um, I assume he must have. I’m trying to think of anything in my head. I’m like, maybe he didn’t know. Oh yikes.
Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s, that’s rough, especially on the wedding day.
Suzanne Lambert: And things just happen like that, and it doesn’t mean anything, you know? I actually, if it makes her feel any better, not gonna say who, a close friend on her wedding day referred to her now husband as her ex husband’s name.
Christa Innis: Oh no. And she
Suzanne Lambert: was like, oh my god, don’t tell ex I said that. And I was like, no, of course, but like, it doesn’t, it doesn’t mean anything. Like, it just happens sometimes.
Christa Innis: Yeah,
Suzanne Lambert: you’re like in the moment,
Christa Innis: and
Suzanne Lambert: it’s not like a friend saying,
Christa Innis: yeah, it’s not like Ross saying Rachel’s name at the end of the aisle.
Suzanne Lambert: That would be a very different thing,
Christa Innis: yes.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah. Sometimes it just happens. And also, like, our parents can never remember anyone’s name. My dad has known all of my friends for, like, over a decade, and he has no idea who anyone is. Don’t put too much stock into it. I don’t know. I’m trying to rationalize it.
Christa Innis: And it’s, like, the ongoing joke with me and my friends, too, where, like, our dads have known all of us, like, for so long, and it’s, like, just, like, a dad thing, I feel. And he’ll
Suzanne Lambert: be, like, no, I’ve never met that person. He’ll look at me, like, I’m crazy. He’s, like, I’ve never met them. I’m, like, dad. Like, you’ve, they’ve actually told you, like, secrets.
And like confided in you. You’ve given them advice that they still talk about. You most certainly know them. He’s just really playing good at the game of like, Oh, I kept that secret really well. Minding his business. Yeah, right. He’s like, well, I don’t, I don’t know anything about that. I’m a
Christa Innis: Scorpio. I keep secrets.
Oh my gosh. Okay. This next one says, my brother’s ex forced her way into my wedding party and now she’s in all of the photos. Her brother’s ex? My brother’s ex-fiance. Oh, yeah, my brother’s ex.
Suzanne Lambert: Oh, well That’s why you gotta put them at the end of the picture, so you can crop them out very easily if needed.
Christa Innis: Well, and I have a lot of questions, like, how does someone get, how does someone force their way into a wedding? That’s not a
Suzanne Lambert: thing. That’s when you say no.
Christa Innis: It’s like, it’s like that person that just automatically is like, can’t wait for the bachelorette party, like this mother in law. But it’s like, oh, when am I coming to the bachelorette party?
What dresses are we getting? And then you’re afraid to say no. Right. Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert: Like, I didn’t have my sister’s in law in my wedding party because I’m closer with people than I am with them, but they also didn’t think anything of it, right? Like, just because we’re related doesn’t mean you have to be included, um, so, yeah, there’s, there’s no such thing as forcing her way in.
Unfortunately, you did kind of. Let her do that. Yeah, I know it’s hard, but that’s awkward. Yeah when they’re in the photo Then you’re just like well get someone on. Hey, there’s someone on reddit who can photoshop them out. Like I Just go go find a good photoshopper
Christa Innis: Yeah, definitely Um, okay This last one says I cut off my sister for trash talking about myself and my husband to one of my children . Good.
Yeah. Yeah. That’s a bold move on the, um, sister for talking trash to your child. That’s weird. And I love
Suzanne Lambert: that the kid told you. Loyal. I’d be like, yes, you’re my kind of kid. Yes. Keep that up. And I wonder what, I wonder what she said. I know. That, and kids repeat everything they hear. Yeah. Really think they’re not gonna tell her that you were talking about her?
Like, they repeat everything. Even when we don’t think they’re listening. Right. And it’d be weird to
Christa Innis: Be like, don’t tell your mom this. Like, well, right. That, I, yeah. That would be Like, that’s a whole new
Suzanne Lambert: level of, like, creepy and weird. Like, we don’t do that. That’s a, yeah. That’s like a new definition of red flag.
Like, if 100%. Yeah. Oh, good. I’m, I’m happy she cut her off. That’s Good for you. That’s awesome. Wild. Yeah, I’m feeling really fortunate for the family. I have right now, to be honest, like yeah, it could be worse. It could be worse.
Christa Innis: I just say like people like there’s some people when I first started saying like different stories, they were like, Oh, you’re spreading toxicity and I’m like, but then I would get messages and they’re like, no, you’ve allowed me to like have boundaries or you allow me to see like great relationships.
I do have. And I was like, Honestly, like, it does the same thing. Like, I’m like, It makes you really look at your, like, relationships you do have and you’re like, Okay, I have good people in my life. Or, like, here’s how to communicate when something’s not right. Or, like, It makes you see what not to do.
Suzanne Lambert: It’s not promoting toxicity.
Like, also, like, toxic positivity is very much a thing. Trust me, when I started doing stand up comedy, I would make silly, harmless jokes about wedding culture. People were mad, like, people get very sensitive around the wedding topic, and I’m like, dude, you have to be able to laugh at yourself, and also, what you’re doing helps other people see, oh, my mother in law does that.
And I, I thought maybe I was alone in feeling like it was not okay, but now I’m being validated. It’s not. Right. And also, they did the toxic thing, we’re just talking about it. Exactly. Right? We’re not toxic. We’re perfect. That’s been established throughout the entire podcast. 100%. Um, no, that’s, yeah, I feel very fortunate, honestly.
I’m gonna go call my mother in law and be like, just wanted to say, for not cornering me in pantries recently. We gotta find out more about this pantry. Yeah, I do. Would love to see a floor plan. Um, it sounds like a gorgeous house. Uh, I would like to hear more about the house. Maybe we’ll get an invite next year.
I would love to go. Live show in this pantry. Where we have a microphone up to the, up to the pantry. And actually, if anyone has any kind of beef they need to air out, that’s where they have to go. It’s like a dedication.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. It’s like the real world. Like we’re like, they would have cameras everywhere.
Like the confessional was in the pantry. Yes. It’ll be the confessional.
Suzanne Lambert: Wow. Soon.
Christa Innis: We have a
Suzanne Lambert: TV, so yeah, I think, no, is it, no, I know one of them is like, um, in the political world now. So that’s, that’s love that one of the reality TV, real world alum. So, you know, I’ll be looking that up. Yeah. Reality stars are just everywhere these days.
They,
Christa Innis: Yeah, reality stars. They’re just like us
Suzanne Lambert: So much.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, well, thank you so much for coming on. I had so much fun, like hanging out with you. I love your takes and this was just so much fun hanging out. Um, can you tell everyone where they can find you, what you’re currently working on and all that good stuff?
Absolutely.
Suzanne Lambert: You can find me on all socials, so TikTok, Instagram, at, it’s Suzanne Lambert, S U Z A N N E. People think Susan and Suzanne are the same name, they’re not. Um, and I’m, you’ll see me every day posting videos, I talk about politics, I talk about makeup, skincare, just, whatever, spur of the moment. Um, and I, I co op, or I collaborate with some news outlets, so sometimes you’ll see that, see that too.
And I have a podcast launching soon, so more about that. So that will definitely Uh, be hitting you up once that’s live, but, uh, just keep a lookout.
Christa Innis: Awesome. Very exciting. Well, awesome. Well, thank you so much for coming on. It was so much fun and like officially meeting you and I love your content. Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert: Thank you.
I love yours. Thank you.
Wedding Demands, Ultimatums, and a Disney Honeymoon with Liz Fleming
Think weddings are all love and laughter?
In this episode, Christa spills the tea with Liz Fleming, life coach and founder of The Small Town Social, on setting boundaries and surviving wedding drama. From hosting epic events to managing moments that make you go “Did that really just happen?” Liz brings her A-game with hilarious stories and savvy advice.
The pair dives into juicy listener confessions, from overbearing in-laws to cringe-worthy pre-gaming fails at dry weddings. Liz breaks it all down with tips for staying cool, calm, and collected while keeping the good vibes rolling.
Whether you’re tying the knot, hosting a bash, or just here for the gossip, this episode will have you laughing, learning, and maybe even rethinking that bouquet toss.
Episode Chapter Markers
00:00 Introduction
01:26 Career Pivot and Life Coaching
03:13 Setting Boundaries and Event Hosting
04:43 Wedding Stories and Hot Takes
22:07 Wedding Day Drinking Dilemmas
24:08 Biggest Wedding Regret
27:10 Story Submission: Wedding Planning Woes
39:01 Weekly Confessions Game
Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments
- Liz shares her journey from PR to life coaching and her passion for personal development.
- Discussion on the importance of setting boundaries in weddings and events.
- Juicy listener stories about overbearing in-laws and dry wedding dilemmas.
- Wedding speech disasters and how to handle unplanned drama.
- Liz’s advice on creating meaningful, joyful events while maintaining personal boundaries.
- Insights into the cultural expectations of big weddings versus intimate gatherings.
- Hot takes on viral wedding trends and why authenticity matters.
Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode
- “Boundaries are so crucial—they not only set the tone for your gatherings but also let everyone, including you, have fun.” – Liz Fleming
- “The most satisfied people are the ones who follow their gut, set boundaries, and stay true to their vision.” – Liz Fleming
- “It’s okay to involve your audience in events, but always have a plan—otherwise, it can totally spiral.” – Liz Fleming
- “If your wedding day puts such a financial strain on you that you’re going to enter your marriage with such a level of stress, it’s not worth it.” – Liz Fleming
- “I think it’s really important to respect people’s choices for their wedding, whether it’s big, small, or something in between—it’s their story.” – Liz Fleming
- “Boundaries are the name of the game—respectful no’s are a form of self-care.” – Christa Innis
- “It’s your wedding, not an entertainment reality show. Stay authentic to your relationship.” – Christa Innis
- “Weddings are so personal, and I feel like when couples stick to what makes sense for them, that’s when the magic happens.” – Christa Innis
Mentioned in the Episode
- The Life with Liz Podcast
- The Small Town Social
- GLOWcon: An annual women’s conference organized by The Small Town Social, focusing on personal development and community building.
About Liz
Liz Fleming is a multi-passionate entrepreneur, life coach, and founder of The Small Town Social, a personal development community focused on empowering women. With 20 years as an award-winning PR professional, Liz pivoted her career to help ambitious women step into their power and live joyfully.
Through coaching, hosting events, and her annual gathering, GlowCon, Liz helps women gain clarity and confidence in all areas of life. As a military spouse and mom, she brings a relatable, results-driven approach to guiding others toward transformation.
Follow Liz Fleming:
Join the Drama with Christa Innis:
Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!
Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.
Submit your story today: Story Submission Form
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A Team Dklutr Production
Blog Transcript:
Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Christa Innis: Hi, Liz. Thank you so much for coming on.
Liz Fleming: Hey, Christa. It’s so nice to see you.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I know. I feel like we were just talking before recording, but I feel like time has gone so fast, and also feels like the blink of an eye. It’s like, time is so weird now.
Liz Fleming: Yeah. Time’s weird, but we just move on. We move through.
Christa Innis: We do. It just flies by. I’m so excited to have you on. Like I said, I thought of you right away because you are the host of your own podcast. You host events. You are so multifaceted. And so I thought you would be the perfect person to have on here and share your own hot takes.
And we’re going to play some games as we kind of go through. But first and foremost, can you kind of just share a little bit about yourself and what you do?
Liz Fleming’s Journey
Liz Fleming: Sure. Yeah, of course. I’m so excited to be here. This is going to be so much fun. It’s been a while since I’ve done a podcast interview, so I’m getting my juices flowing again, and the reason for that is that I have been in the thick of a total career pivot.
So as you know, Christa, because we used to do a lot of fun projects together, I was a publicist for 13 years. And I was presented with an opportunity to kind of slow down in my career, and I saw that as an opportunity to totally pivot and become a life and success coach.
So right now it’s just been amazing. You know, when you get that full-body feeling that you’re doing what you’re supposed to do. So I help women realize their purpose on purpose and realize their worth. And we can cover things from career, life, relationships, love, finances, whatever.
But the core of what I teach is really just helping women come back to wholeness so they can live more joyfully. And I have a set formula and a way that I do that. But, yeah, I’ve been in the thick of getting my certifications. So, I’m coming out on the other side of that and I’m just hitting the ground running. It’s just been amazing.
Christa Innis: I love that. I love that because I feel like what you said about when you find that purpose, that thing that really excites you, that is just like, cause it doesn’t feel like work. It just feels like, Oh, I get another day of doing this exciting thing and helping people and having a full impact, which is amazing.
Liz Fleming: Yeah, yeah, totally. And I forgot to mention too, like The Small Town Social, which you’re very familiar with, which is my women’s personal development group that kind of inspired the whole pivot to coaching because I host an annual gathering for women to focus on their self-healing. It just felt like coaching was my natural next step. So I have a lot of experience in event facilitation, which is going to make our conversation here really fun today. Yes. Yeah. It’s been awesome though.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Well, and as you’re talking too about what you do and your, like, how you kind of pivoted, that is perfect too because, and all these kinds of skits and stories that I share on my channel, it’s all about setting boundaries.
So many times these women have to deal with very difficult relationships or hard situations when growing up, they were taught to just be a people pleaser, just say yes, or just do what they tell you. And as we get older and we say no to things, we’re either told we’re difficult or we’re the B word.
So part of sharing these skits is like, you can do things respectfully. You can say no respectfully. So I feel like this is, you’re the perfect match to be talking on this podcast because you can share your take when it comes to setting boundaries and following your path of like, okay, that doesn’t serve me anymore. So let’s go this way.
The Power of Boundaries and Crazy Event Stories
Liz Fleming: Yeah, of course. And that’s so spot on. And it’s so funny you mentioned that because I just did a whole podcast episode about setting healthy boundaries, specifically around the holiday season, but they really apply to life in general.
And especially when you’re hosting an event, whether you’re a bride, you’re hosting a birthday party, or someone like me who hosts large-scale events. Boundaries are so crucial, and they really help not only set the tone for your gatherings but also set you apart and allow everyone, including yourself, to have fun. So important.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I love that. So with that being said, let’s jump into my first segment here, which is any crazy stories, and then we’re going to get into wedding hot takes.
So right off the bat, I know we were kind of talking, and you said just like leading events, you kind of have different, you’ve seen different things, or you’ve seen it all just being at different things.
Do you have any crazy stories that come to mind or anything you’ve heard that you were kind of like, kind of shocking or like, oh my goodness?
Event Hosting, Wedding Speeches, and Hot Takes
Liz Fleming: What’s sticking out for me as an event host is I love to involve my audience in my gatherings as much as possible. I don’t like to stand on a stage all day and talk to the audience. I’ve done that before, and, you know, it works for everyone. They learn a lot, but it was just like—so over the last 6 and a half years of doing these events with The Small Town Social, I have really involved my audience, but you have to be cautious with that.
So things like passing around the microphone and doing group shares—you guys can totally apply this to wedding speeches and stuff—be so cautious about doing things like that. Have a plan. Don’t just go free for all and start doing the group share or letting someone have the mic and do a speech because it can really get away from you.
There’s not really one instance; I mean, it’s happened loads of times for me, which is terrifying. Someone is either too scared to talk, the microphone’s pressed into their face, and there’s not much you can do about it, or they’re nervous to start talking, and then they talk and don’t stop talking.
That’s a really big one where you’re just kind of like, “You need a game plan for that.” I have kind of a seasoned approach now, but for anyone interested in hosting events, or you have an event on the horizon, that’s like my number one thing: totally involve your audience so they have fun, but proceed with caution.
Christa Innis: Yes. Oh my God. I’m so glad you said that because that was something I shared. I don’t remember where I shared it now—it might’ve been in a story somewhere—but I was at a wedding once. I was a bridesmaid, and at the last minute, I want to say it was like a few weeks before the wedding, she brought on another bridesmaid. They had a falling out and then became friends again.
And the girl right off the bat was like, “Alright, I’m giving a speech,” like didn’t wait to be asked, just told her, “I’m going to give a speech,” and this bride was so nice, and she was just like, “Okay,” just accepted it. And after this bridesmaid made her speech, she goes, “Anyone else have anything to say?” which I was just like, you know—no.
Lines started forming of siblings of the bride and groom, cousins—we were sitting there for probably 30-45 minutes just listening to these unplanned speeches. And they were, like, not—you know, like, there are certain things you say and don’t say in a speech, and they were just saying everything. They were talking about sibling fights growing up, how they had a terrible falling out growing up, and why they did, and it was just like, “Is this really happening?”
Liz Fleming: Oh my gosh. That’s so bad.
Christa Innis: That was so bad.
Liz Fleming: That’s like my nightmare. Actually, that is giving me flashbacks to my wedding because, yeah, more people made speeches than we knew. It was just kind of like, “Okay, all right.” It’s a boundary between respecting people, but also like, “I paid for this. This is my day,” kind of thing.
As long as you have a plan—like with how I run my events, I have outs. I have certain phrases that I say, and I’m very well-versed in how I present my body language. There are ways you can do that to change a conversation and change a vibe. You send the signal, right? The bat signal.
I have an amazing team helping me with these events, who are also well-versed in that. It makes it a lot easier to just kind of be like, “Okay, we’re going to take a pause here.”
The other reason why that’s scary is probably the most obvious—we live in a very sensitive time right now where everyone has different opinions, views, and thoughts on everything, and you just never know what someone’s going to say. I’m not trying to scare everyone away from the group because it is so powerful. Keep doing them. Just have an anchor—keep people focused.
Even, I mean seriously, for any event, you can do this. For weddings, keep it positive, keep it light. Focus on one thing, one memory. Don’t go down the rabbit hole of everything. And the same goes for more of a life-business-related event like what I do.
Christa Innis: Yeah. And I want to get to hot topics in just a second. But what you just said reminded me of this thing I saw—when you said there’s so much going on, like, we’re very opinionated, right?
I saw this TikTok where someone was sharing—and again, I don’t know what things I should say or not say yet—but in the bride’s father-of-the-bride speech, he talked about the election. He was so happy and came out wearing a hat, and I was just like, no, no, no.
And I guess she knew she had feelings that he was going to do this and was like, “Do not do it.” So she had already told him, “Do not do it.” And he still did it and made this about the election and not about her wedding, which I was like, “Come on!”
Liz Fleming: So that hurts. That hurts. It hurts a lot.
Christa Innis: Oh yeah. So that being said, let’s jump into some wedding hot takes. So I’m going to ask you a couple of questions here that are labeled as some kind of hot takes and tell me what you think.
Okay, let’s see. What is one wedding trend that you think needs to be retired for good and why?
Wedding Trends, Big Day Decisions, and Boundary Battles
Liz Fleming: Oh my gosh. I think—oh, am I going to get canceled for saying this?—I think it’s like the elaborate aisle stuff. Like, can we just get down the aisle? Does it have to be an elaborate dance thing or, you know?
Christa Innis: Choreography, like a choreography dance or something?
Liz Fleming: Yeah, and maybe those are already over. I haven’t seen them in a while, but I just remember there was a time when they were the thing. And, I don’t know, how long have I been married? Seven years? Six years? Five years? I remember when I was planning my wedding, I was like, that’s not happening.
I feel like it’s more about the extreme displays of entertainment going viral. Because everyone’s recording people at the wedding, and I just miss when it was intimate and personal. Now it’s like a reality show sometimes, and I think that’s what needs to go. That’s what I’m trying to get at.
Christa Innis: Yeah. No, I totally see what you mean because I think we’re losing sight of what makes sense for our relationship and our wishes instead of going viral. You totally hit the nail on the head with that because I was just talking to someone about how we’re so caught up in what everyone else wants for our wedding day that we lose sight of it, like, “Wait, that doesn’t make sense for me.”
Like, I would never do that. Or when parents come in, they want to invite 500 people. It’s like, “Well, I’m very introverted, so that’s really uncomfortable for me.” The same way it’s like, “Oh, let’s do this viral dance so that maybe we have a chance of blowing up on TikTok.” Why? Why do you ask yourself, why do you want that?
Liz Fleming: Yes, exactly. It’s like the gender reveals—they’ve gone too far.
Christa Innis: Starting forest fires in California. Like, let’s not do that, people.
Liz Fleming: Yeah.
Christa Innis: We can just do it the old-fashioned way—bite into a cupcake or something. If you really need to, just have the baby and move on.
Liz Fleming: Just have the baby.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Okay, that was a good one. Do you think big weddings are worth the expense, or would you recommend keeping them small and intimate?
Liz Fleming: That’s totally subjective. I don’t want to crush anyone’s dreams. If someone wants a huge wedding, I think that’s awesome.
I personally feel that if your wedding day is going to put such a financial strain on you that you’re entering your marriage with a level of stress that takes away the joy, then it’s not worth it. I’m an advocate for small and intimate weddings that are messy, joyful, and true to the couple.
I think it’s really up to you, obviously, and your budget. Weddings have gotten so expensive. I know people who’ve done destination weddings for that reason. They’re like, “Well, if we’re going to spend big money, we’re just going to go overseas and do it.” That often makes it smaller and more intimate because fewer family members can go.
So, there’s this hybrid segment of weddings now, which I love. I’m like, that sounds fun. Maybe for our 10-year anniversary, we’ll do something awesome like that. But yeah, I’m all for being small and intimate at the end of the day.
Christa Innis: I think you make a really good point. It kind of ties back to people trying to impress others and not staying true to themselves.
If it’s in your budget or always your dream to have a big wedding, do it. Go all out. But if you’re going to be in $50,000 of debt, maybe rethink it. At the end of the day, the wedding is about celebrating your love, not pleasing everyone else.
Liz Fleming: You also have to consider cultural perspectives, right? In some cultures, big weddings are the norm, and there’s no other way. Like, that’s what you do. Conversely, some people don’t have big families, so they compensate by inviting all their close friends.
For them, a big wedding is worth it to bring all the people they care about together. So many variables go into the why behind someone’s wedding size. I’d love to see more people being respectful about it. You never know someone’s story or their why.
Christa Innis: A hundred percent. I always find that people who tune out the noise when planning and do what’s true to them are the most satisfied with their wedding.
So many people listen to everyone but themselves, then say, “I wish I could have a redo. I hated that it was so big, or so small.” Listen to your heart and plan for you.
Liz Fleming: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Boundaries. Yes. Boundaries are the name of the game. Okay, next topic.
Christa Innis: The next segment is called “Pick a Side: Wedding Drama Debates.” So, I started asking social media to send me their unpopular opinions. I’m going to read a few, and we can debate them.
The first one says, “I don’t like the idea of a first look. My husband had to wait to see me until I came down the aisle.”
Liz Fleming: Well, I am all about shock and awe, so I don’t love the first-look thing. It’s really like, I don’t know, it feels like it kind of defeats the purpose. I get it, it’s nice to have that one-on-one moment. But to have that moment together, like, in front of everyone you care about, it sends out an energy that cannot be replicated. It’s like next-level good vibes, and I feel like the world needs more of that, so I’m in the camp of no first look.
Christa Innis: Yeah, if I had to pick one, I would say no first look, too. We didn’t do a first look because I was like, I always pictured that first walk down the aisle. It just seemed more climactic for me. But I get it—like people that have done it for timing purposes or scheduling, or maybe they were really shy and just wanted to get it out of the way.
Christa Innis: Okay, this next one says, “I hate the bouquet toss after 25. Nobody wants to be fighting for a bouquet.”
Liz Fleming: Oh, I don’t know. Twenty-five? Twenty-five? Holy crap. So young. I love the bouquet toss. I think it’s a great way to gamify your day. At that point, you’re more than halfway through the day. Your people have eaten, your guests have eaten, and the dancing is starting to happen. It’s just fun and fast, quirky, and doesn’t take up a lot of time. Do it.
Christa Innis: Did you have anyone push people out of the way, elbowing others, or maybe you didn’t see it as the bride?
Liz Fleming: Not aggressively. It was just a kind of jockey. Everyone was a little tipsy. I’ve been pushed out of the way at weddings I attended—it’s been like a mosh pit sometimes—but at my wedding, it was tasteful.
Christa Innis: Some people get really into it. I was scratched once, and it was so intense. Like, guys, it doesn’t mean you’re actually gonna get married next!
Liz Fleming: Yeah, you know your people best. You know your audience. I think that’s something you can pull out of the bag as you see fit. If your guests are likely to get drunk and belligerent, maybe it’s not something you want to do. There are ways to modify those age-old traditions.
Christa Innis: Yeah. And if you’re not athletic like me, maybe don’t do it either. I always worried I’d throw it wrong and knock someone out!
Liz Fleming: Also, if you skip it, you save money on that extra bouquet—like a hundred bucks saved right there.
Christa Innis: Okay, this last one says, “Pregaming a dry wedding is disrespectful to the bride and groom.”
Liz Fleming: Yes. I think that’s super rude. If the bride and groom made that decision consciously, it must be for an important reason. Respect it, then go drink afterward. It’s their day, not yours. Grow up and show up for your people.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I’ve never been to a dry wedding, but if I knew it was dry, I wouldn’t pregame—it’s just weird to me.
Liz Fleming: Yeah, let’s do shots in the parking lot. No thanks. Also, I think it’s weird when people get blackout drunk at weddings. The pictures are ruined, it’s a safety issue, and someone always ends up taking care of them. Alcohol is not the cornerstone of why we’re here.
Christa Innis: So true. I hear stories all the time about someone being so drunk they can’t even walk down the aisle or finish a speech. Let’s just hold off a little if you know you can’t handle it.
Liz Fleming: That was a hard line for my husband and me on our wedding day—no pregaming. I think I had one glass of champagne, and he maybe had a beer, just something to shake the nerves. It’s okay to have a little touch of that, but it’s not about taking away from the day or everything you’ve planned.
Christa Innis: Honestly, I thought I’d have more champagne the morning of, but I didn’t even finish my glass. I was running around so much with hair, makeup, and checking on things. The guys, meanwhile, just had to put on a suit and shower!
Liz Fleming: Same here. I wasn’t even drunk at my wedding—there was just no time. But can I share my biggest regret from my wedding?
Christa Innis: Yes, please do!
Liz Fleming: My biggest regret was putting the bride and groom’s table near the buffet entrance. Why did we do that?
Christa Innis: Wait, so your food table was where you sat?
Liz Fleming: Yeah, it was, but it was spaced out enough that I thought it would be fine. So, we were in a ginormous barn, and it was very elegant, and we had this beautiful, long buffet-style line of food. Our table was on the edge of the dance floor, and there was probably a 10-foot gap between where people went to get the food and our table. I think in my head, I was like, in this way, we’ll:
a) Be able to eat.
b) Get to see more people without having to go around the room so much.
It was a giant event, and because we tried to do that, we only made it to four tables. People just kept talking and talking, and you only have so much time. But then when we sat down to try and eat, it was just like one person after another coming up to us, saying, “Congratulations, we love you guys.” And it’s like, I think I took one bite of food.
I mean, that’s a big expense, and we were so hungry and thirsty. Our cheeks hurt, our hands hurt. That was my biggest regret—not being more mindful of our placement and where we sat.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Liz Fleming: …Our placement and where we sat.
Christa Innis: That’s such a smart thing to say because I’ve never actually heard someone say that before, but it’s true. You get very drawn into conversations.
I know my husband actually had to stop me because I wanted to go up to everyone. I’m that person who feels guilty and thinks, “Oh my gosh, I didn’t say bye to so-and-so, even though I said hi to them earlier.” And he was like, “It’s okay. There are 150 people here. If you don’t say hi to one person, it’s going to be okay.”
I was like, “Okay.” But yeah, we did this thing called Mission Impossible, which was really cool. It was our photographer’s idea. They played Mission Impossible music, and the DJ announced that we were going to go to each table and take a picture with everyone.
It allowed people to feel like they saw you, and we just quickly moved. One side of the table gets behind the other side, so we could easily just get in there. It made everyone feel like they hung out with the bride and groom for a little bit.
Liz Fleming: Oh, I wish we did that. I feel like there were more than half of the people I didn’t even get to talk to. We had about 152 guests, and I truly thought we’d get around to everyone.
I mean, we tried, and I would have loved to have talked to everyone. Some people I hadn’t seen in years or ever met before, but you can only do so much.
Christa Innis: It’s—
Liz Fleming: …So hard.
Christa Innis: It’s so hard, but as long as you’re having a great time on your day and your guests are also benefiting from that, you’ve won. You’ve won the lottery in terms of the wedding day.
Helicopter Parents and Wedding Hijacks
Christa Innis: Yeah, absolutely. All right. Let’s jump into this week’s story submission.
As a reminder to everyone listening, I get regular stories sent to me all the time. I probably have like 300 that I haven’t even touched the surface on. So, this is a random story that I’ve not read yet. We’re just going to react together. And if you’re listening, thinking, I have a story to submit, you can submit it through the link in the show notes. We’re always taking new submissions.
All right.
When my husband and I got engaged, we were so excited. We were dating for a long time, so we didn’t want to wait too long to get married. We got engaged on May 1st and were talking about getting married around the end or middle of June.
Oh wow, that’s fascinating.
So then my husband could go to some family events with me as a couple at the beginning of July. We sat down with my then fiancé’s parents, and they were asking if we had picked a date for the wedding yet.
I told them we were thinking about June 22nd. They said, “That’s only a month and a half away. We want to have a lot of time to get everything done.”
I told them I knew where I was going to get my dress, and I knew from other family members that getting a dress would be no problem as long as I was going to rent it. I was also going to have fake flowers and make bouquets and boutonnieres myself, so we didn’t need to ask a florist in advance.
Liz Fleming: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Okay.
We were also not going to have our reception at an event center. We were planning on using a church for the reception, so we didn’t need to look for venues.
My father-in-law said, “That isn’t enough time to plan the other things that need to be done. And if we do it on July 22nd, then your fiancé’s older sister and her family, who live in Ohio, might not be able to attend since her husband is in the military. It would be hard for her to leave and come to the wedding.”
My fiancé and I had already talked about possible people who wouldn’t be able to attend the wedding. We came to the conclusion that it was our wedding, and if people couldn’t make it, then they couldn’t come.
My fiancé said, “Dad, we will just give people the date now so they can make arrangements.”
My father-in-law said, “That’s not how it works. You need to have everyone from the immediate family there for the wedding. So why don’t we do July 19th? Then your sister and her husband and family can come to the wedding since they will already be here.”
Why? Because they’re going to Disneyland that week.
Christa Innis: There’s a lot going on here.
Liz Fleming: Oh my God.
Christa Innis: There’s a lot of buildup here.
Liz Fleming: Poor bride.
Christa Innis: I know. Just getting ripped right from her. She knows what she wants. Leave her alone.
Liz Fleming: Yes.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh.
Christa Innis: Okay, here we go.
“That way you guys can have half of your honeymoon at Disneyland with all of us, which we would pay for. Wouldn’t that be fun?”
My then fiancé said, “Dad, we don’t really want to wait that long to get married since we’ve been dating so long. And we don’t really want to spend half of our honeymoon with you guys since it’s supposed to be just us.”
My future father-in-law said, “Oh, well, you’ll be in your own hotel room. You won’t be in the Airbnb with us in California, which I will pay for. You will also have a couple of days to yourself before the Disneyland trip. So you could go to St. George for a couple of days since it’s on the way to California.”
Liz Fleming: Oh my gosh. We should pause there.
Christa Innis: Wow. Helicopter much?
Liz Fleming: Geez.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Like, sure, yeah, that’s a quick engagement, but it sounds like they’ve already talked it through and figured it out. There’s no need to come in and say, “Well, let’s do it this day, and then you can have your honeymoon with us.”
Liz Fleming: Yes, that’s tricky. I’m seeing it from both angles here. The bride and groom know exactly what they want—signed, sealed, delivered. Awesome.
Most parents would be supportive of that. However, I get where the parents are coming from because it’s such a milestone, right? They’ve probably had this grand vision as parents over the last 20 or 30 years of how their child’s wedding would go and how they would contribute. They probably felt totally left out.
Christa Innis: Well—
Liz Fleming: In most weddings, the parents are pretty involved. They love to pay for certain things. It sounds like there was just a massive disconnect in family chemistry when it came to the wedding.
But for the honeymoon thing? That’s creepy. That’s weird.
Christa Innis: Well, and I feel like the weird part of it too is—because I totally get you—it’s like, yeah, they visualize this day and want to help their kid. But it almost sounds like they are catering to the sister and her husband a little bit more.
It’s like, “Well, they have a trip planned to Disneyland, so we should get married right before that.” It sounds like they want the couple to combine their vacation with the sister’s family’s plans to make it more convenient for them.
Liz Fleming: Yeah.
Christa Innis: It’s kind of weird.
Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s like they’re trying to make sure the sister, like the whole family, can be together. But as a military spouse, it doesn’t matter if you give a month lead time or ten months. The military is the military, and they might not be able to attend anyway. Like, they could just get called up for something.
Liz Fleming: Yeah.
Christa Innis: So that’s a little weird to me. But yeah, overall, it felt pretty disrespectful to react that way as someone related so closely to the bride and groom. It’s okay to have your opinions privately and maybe have that discussion. But to just insert yourself so directly into that moment? It just felt like she was being shut down at every turn. The poor thing.
Liz Fleming: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Oh my goodness. And I hope there’s more like—
Liz Fleming: Oh, there’s more?
Christa Innis: There’s more.
Liz Fleming: Oh heavens.
Christa Innis: My fiancé said, “What if we do it on the 27th of June? That’s a weekend, and my sister still might be able to come since it’s a weekend. Then we have two months for whatever other planning we need to do.”
Future father-in-law said, “No, your sister will not be able to come down that weekend either. Ohio is a long way, and it costs a lot of money for her to come down to Utah. July 19th will be best for all of us.”
So again, saying no.
My fiancé then looked at me and said, “We will need to talk about this more than just for a second.” We left the room and talked about what we would want to do.
I said, “I’m really frustrated. I understand if she can’t come, but they are making assumptions that she won’t be able to make it to our wedding. They’re kind of speaking for the sister at this point, not even allowing her to answer for herself. If she really wants to come, I think she can make it happen. If she doesn’t want to come, then she won’t. This is supposed to be our wedding day, not your parents’. I want to get married in June.”
Liz Fleming: Yeah, there’s so much that’s not said in this story. We don’t know the backstory of the bride and groom and why they selected that date. Maybe there was a timeline—financial, career, or health reasons—you just don’t know.
Christa Innis: Yeah, exactly.
Liz Fleming: If anyone in my family ever said something like that to us, I’d be like, “No. What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you high?” I value your opinion, but this is what we decided. Get over it.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Exactly. It almost sounds like a weird control thing because they’re so set in July. And I’m like, what’s the big difference between June and July? To me, nothing.
Liz Fleming: Yeah, nothing. It’s less than a month. And when he said the thing about “I’m paying for it,” that was definitely a power play.
Christa Innis: I hate that.
Liz Fleming: Totally. It’s like, “I’m paying for it, so you’ll do what I want.”
Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s so frustrating.
Liz Fleming: That’s tricky.
Christa Innis: So, after talking, the bride said, “I don’t want to cause drama in your family. And I feel like if we push for the 27th, it will just make things complicated with your parents. I guess we will have to do the 19th and just not make your parents go into a frenzy.”
My fiancé said, “Are you sure that’s what you want to do?”
I said, “It’s not what I want to do, but I guess it’s what we have to do to keep the peace.”
Liz Fleming: Ugh.
Christa Innis: They went back into the room and said, “I suppose we’ll do July 19th.”
The bride added, “I have other stories from my wedding, but this is already so long. Message me if you have any questions.”
Liz Fleming: Oh my gosh. That makes me so sad.
Christa Innis: I know.
Liz Fleming: She was a baller about this. She was very clear about what she wanted, set her boundaries, and had the courage to say, “That’s not what I want.” And yet, she’s just put in this tricky position. Imagine if you were in her shoes, up against that mounting pressure from in-laws. Starting off your marriage with that kind of dark energy? Yikes.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I get why she felt the pressure to change her mind, but it sucks that she had to.
Liz Fleming: Yeah.
Christa Innis: All right. I think I did okay with reading that. I have to be honest—one time, I read a confession on Facebook, and someone commented, “Before you post anything, you should make sure you know how to read.”
Liz Fleming: People are so nice.
Christa Innis: Right?
Liz Fleming: That was a really long read. Way to crush it.
Christa Innis: And I should have probably broken it up a little bit.
Liz Fleming: No, I think it was great. I like that you read it in chunks so that we could talk about it along the way.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I’m learning as I go here. Okay, I know we’re overtime, so I’ll make this next section a little shorter. It’s called the weekly confessions game. I’ll just do one confession, and we’ll rate it.
Okay, so these people are sending me their confessions on Instagram now, and we’ll rate it from 1 to build tea and 10 to absolute chaos. And if you have something to add, feel free.
Okay, this is crazy: “My dad was my landlord and told me to use rent as my wedding gift, then made me pay it back the next month.”
Liz Fleming: People are so weird. What the fuck? I guess. I don’t, like, what? Why are you paying it back? That’s not a gift. That’s a loan.
Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s literally a loan.
Liz Fleming: An interest-free loan.
Christa Innis: Positioned as a gift. People are so strange.
Liz Fleming: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Okay, I’m just going to read this other one real quick, and we’ll close out.
“Yes. In-laws insisted on staying at the hotel and then arrived one minute before the entrance of the bridal party.”
Liz Fleming: That’s making a statement.
Christa Innis: Yeah, that was done on purpose.
Liz Fleming: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. This is crazy. Thank you so much for coming on, Liz. I know. I’m like, what other stories can we read? This was so much fun. I really enjoyed having you come on and catching up. Can you tell us again where everyone can follow you, what other projects you’re working on, and all that good stuff?
Liz Fleming: Yeah, of course. Everyone can find me on Instagram—that’s my favorite. So, you can find me at @thesmalltownsocial on Instagram or at @MsLizFleming. I have two accounts.
And then, yeah, all the links are there. I share a ton of content. You can work with me one-on-one in coaching.
I think the biggest thing I have coming up, even if you’re not local to North Carolina, is a women’s personal development gathering called GlowCon on March 20th, 2025. The majority of women are here in North Carolina, but I have some women flying in from as far as Ohio, California, Washington, Virginia, and Vermont.
So it’s really grown. This is the second time I’m doing it, but it’s such a beautiful day of community, connection, getting to know yourself better, and just having some fun on the first day of spring.
So, a lot of stuff going on for little ol’ me, but I would love to connect with you all, and this has been wonderful, Christa. Thank you.
Christa Innis: Of course! Yay, I’m so excited. This is awesome.
The Wedding Dress Scandal That Broke the Internet with Raylee Rukavina
What would you do if your wedding dress arrived looking nothing like what you ordered—just days before the big day?
In this episode, Raylee Rukavina shares the jaw-dropping story of how her custom wedding dress turned into a disaster and sparked unexpected TikTok drama. From communication breakdowns with the designer to a last-minute dress search, Raylee takes us through the rollercoaster of emotions she experienced leading up to her wedding.
But it didn’t stop there—when her designer took to social media to twist the story, Raylee found herself at the center of a viral controversy. Things took an even more unexpected turn, leaving her to navigate a whirlwind of emotions and tough decisions.
Beyond the drama, we dive into wedding etiquette hot takes, from outdated traditions to handling plus-ones and unexpected family opinions.
Whether you’re a bride-to-be or just love a good wedding story, this episode is packed with real talk, lessons learned, and a bit of chaos.
Episode Chapter Markers
00:00 Introduction
00:59 Wedding Planning and Challenges
01:58 TikTok Drama Unfolds
12:30 Aftermath and Reflections
20:27 The Fake Flowers Dilemma
20:58 Unpopular Opinions: Wedding Drama
23:22 Wedding Submission Story: Dress Shopping Disaster
31:05 Weekly Confessions: Rating the Chaos
Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments
- How Raylee’s gown turned out completely different from what she ordered.
- The frustrating lack of updates and missed deadlines from the designer.
- How a false accusation on TikTok led to online hate and doxxing.
- How Raylee managed to stay focused on her big day despite the controversy.
- How she found a new gown just in time.
- Outdated traditions and how to handle family dynamics.
- The dangers of social media drama and public callouts.
- Raylee’s advice for brides dealing with vendor issues and last-minute wedding disasters.
Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode
- ”Once you’re married, you’re there for life. You better start liking me or we figure it out.” – Raylee Rukavina
- “I really tried not to think about it at all. I didn’t want any part of the social media on my wedding day.” – Raylee Rukavina
- ”Even if a parent helps to pay for a wedding, they don’t have as much say because it still isn’t their wedding. – Christa Innis
- “I just can’t imagine as a wedding vendor that makes wedding dresses for a living, putting something so publicly out there and putting your name out there when that’s not even the full story.” – Christa Innis
- “I don’t know how some of these people do it when they say like their fiancé’s family or partner’s family are horrible to them. That’s supposed to be like an extension of your family.” – Christa Innis
About Raylee
Raylee Rukavina is a TikTok influencer, entrepreneur, and hairstylist from Colorado with a passion for golf, weightlifting, and all things beauty. Recently married, she found herself in the middle of an unexpected viral controversy when a custom wedding dress disaster took an unexpected turn on social media.
Raylee shares her firsthand experience navigating vendor issues, handling online hate, and staying focused on what truly mattered—her wedding day.
Follow Raylee Rukavina:
Join the Drama with Christa Innis:
Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!
Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.
Submit your story today: Story Submission Form
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A Team Dklutr Production
Blog Transcript:
Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Christa Innis: Hi, Lex. Thank you so much for joining me today. I’m so excited to have you on the podcast, this brand-new podcast that I decided to venture into. You are a bit of an internet personality. You do some awesome skits. And so, just to get started, can you just tell us a little bit about you, how you kind of got started, and, yeah, what you kind of enjoy doing on social media?
From ER Skits to Viral Wedding Stories
Lex Harper: Yeah, of course. So, like you said, my name is Lex. I started doing TikTok at the beginning of this year. I’d say I probably started in February or March. As you can see too with my wedding pictures, I got married this year. I kind of have a background in social media. One of the degrees I have from school is digital media production.
So, I’ve worked with businesses before about just having their brand and content be online and everything like that. But I never did anything from my personal social media platforms. And I kind of got thrown into it this year. It was really funny because I was actually working in the ER at the beginning of the year.
If people have been following me from the beginning, they know that my videos and skits originally started with ER horror stories and kind of reenacting what came in. But it was more so like if someone had an embarrassing situation, they’d be like, “I don’t want to go get help for that because this is embarrassing. It’s never happened to anybody else before.” And I would kind of show, like, if you come in with this, this is what we would do to treat it and kind of go along the lines of that.
Then people started sending me their horror stories about being in the ER and doctor’s offices and everything like that. And then I had one message that stuck out to me. It was this woman, and she said, “Hey, I have a really bad mother-in-law story. I personally can’t post it because all of the family follows me on everything, and I don’t want to start any more drama. But I need to know if this is, like, my personal situation and I’m overreacting, or if this is something that’s toxic for a mother-in-law.”
I made that video, and it went viral. I got so many other messages about it, and that kind of just took off from there.
Christa Innis: Wow. I hear this all the time too. You start one way on social media with what kind of makes sense for you and your story, and then the algorithm tells you what people want to see. I love that it kind of turned in that direction. So, it started with people sending you their mother-in-law stories—it didn’t start with your own drama or issues with your own wedding, right?
Lex Harper: No, so I’m very thankful. I have an amazing mother-in-law. I’ve had some people I dated in the past whose mothers were questionable, to say the least, and I had some experiences with that. But the mother-in-law I have is absolutely fantastic.
When I started posting these videos, everyone thought they were my original stories at the beginning. So, in addition to all of the messages being like, “Hey, these are my stories,” I was getting so many DMs that were like, “Girl, you need to leave. That’s not healthy. This is not good.”
Everyone was worried for me. I even had to have a talk with her too. I said, “You know none of these are about you, right?” She watches all of them. She follows me on TikTok. She laughs, sends them to me, or puts them in our family group chat.
If we ever have anything going on, she’ll say, ‘I could react like this. You guys should be lucky.’ And we’re like, ‘We are very thankful that you are not like that.’
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh, I love that. I had the same thing happen. I would have people comment on certain platforms—TikTok is pretty understanding about skits, but platforms like Facebook would say, “Why are you airing your dirty laundry out here? You should go talk to her.”
I had to tell them, “Oh no, these are not about my own mother-in-law. I have an amazing mother-in-law.” She said the same thing to me when I kept my TikTok private for a while. Like, no one knew I was doing it to grow at first. When it started growing and I shared it on other platforms, she followed me on Instagram and said, “The first time I saw it, my heart dropped. I thought you were talking about me.”
And I was like, “Oh my gosh, no, never.” It’s funny how people just assume.
So with your wedding this year, you were a 2024 bride. What was the most surprising thing when it came to planning or did you experience any kind of like, I don’t know, new lesson when it came to your wedding
Staying True to Your Wedding Vision
Lex Harper: I think the biggest thing that I learned with wedding planning was that I had to stand firm on what I wanted because I’m very laid back, go with the flow, just kind of like, yeah, whatever, we can do that. Or like, we need it, we don’t need it, I’ll be fine. My husband’s the exact same way. He’s like, “We can do whatever you want. I don’t have a preference.”
He definitely wanted to help; he wanted to know what was going on. So, I would be talking about, like, our flowers or something, and he’d be like, “Oh, can we put these in there?” I’m like, “Yeah, sure.” His favorite color is actually pink. Don’t know why, it has been since he was little.
So, our wedding theme—it was instead of being 50 shades of gray, it was 50 shades of pink. All of our guests wore different shades of pink. He had a gray suit and a pink and purple tie, and he had a lot of fun with it.
A lot of people told me because I was 24 when I got married, “That’s too young. Are you sure you want to do this?” They kind of tried to scare me out of it. But those were people we knew as family friends, not people involved in our relationship. We like to keep our relationship very private.
If people are like, “Oh, are you guys together?” it’s obviously like, “A hundred percent, that’s my person.” But nobody really knows the ins and outs of our relationship because I just kind of made it better that way.
We had people telling me, “You’re too young to get married. You’re only 24.” And I’m sitting there like, “You guys are going to lose your mind when I tell you my husband’s only 20, and we’re getting married.” So, we do have that little bit of an age gap.
I noticed when we were planning, people were like, “This is going to be the most stressful day of your life. You’re not going to remember anything. It’s going to be so much to try to plan.” But we had the complete opposite experience with that.
His granddad has Alzheimer’s, so we wanted to keep the wedding very, very small. We’re both very introverted too, so that was really weird branching out and doing TikTok for me. I’m like, “I have a lot of people watching me right now.”
But we had a very small wedding—less than 50 people. It was family-only. We did not have any wedding parties. I think we had a lot of things that were considered traditional that we didn’t do. People were like, “Are you sure about this?”
Christa Innis: I know. I think it’s so interesting when people put their own pressures and expectations on other people because it’s like, you don’t know their relationship. You don’t know their personality or what they want to showcase in their wedding.
I had the same thing where people were constantly like, “Oh, you’re going to stress out so much. You need to do this, and you need to do that.” I love that you set your boundaries like, “Nope, this is what I’m doing. This is what makes sense for us,” because it’s so important to be on the same page as your partner.
Everyone else will come in, but you don’t have to change things for everybody else.
Lex Harper: We didn’t want our wedding day to be stressful like that. I don’t know if I’ve told anyone in my family this, but my brother was our officiant for the wedding because we, again, wanted to keep it a small family wedding.
We signed our papers and everything, but those weren’t our real papers. So, we actually got married on a different day. We went down to the courthouse in sweatpants, and that’s how we got married.
That was just a lot easier for us, and it made everything go a lot smoother because it was kind of already done. So, we were like, “Breathe and have a good day.” It was fairly simple.
The place where we got married was a family-run business, and they just opened up their wedding venue that year. If it had been in a big city, the venue itself probably would have been like $20,000 to $30,000. But because we wanted a small countryside wedding, I think it was like $6,000. That’s pretty good.
Christa Innis: Yeah. It sounds like you knew what you guys wanted to do, and I think that’s amazing. It’s so easy to get caught up in a million opinions around you.
I find brides are most confident and happy with their wedding day when they stay true to themselves. I see it in the comments all the time, and I’m sure you see it in your comments too. People say, “I wish I would have done that. I hate that this person told me to do this.”
Lex Harper: I think we had a lot of people trying to tell us what to do too because I’m the youngest in my family. I have two older brothers, so I’m the only girl. He’s the youngest in his family. He has two older brothers, so I’m the only girl that’s getting married.
We’re both the babies of our families that are getting married, and we’re the first ones to get married. So, everyone was like, “Oh, we’ll plan everything for you guys.”
We originally said that we didn’t really want to have a wedding because we just wanted to build a house and start life. And they were like, “No, you need to celebrate.”
Christa Innis: You took a little bit, and then you were like, “Okay, so we’re going to do that.” Okay, I want to jump into some of your own stories that you might’ve heard or your wedding hot takes.
So first, I know you kind of said the mother-in-law story that was sent to you. Do you have any, like, a wedding guest or being part of a wedding, a crazy story or something you’ve heard that just made your jaw drop?
Wedding Chaos, Hot Takes, and Child-Free Decisions
Lex Harper: I think my first year that I moved out to Georgia, I went to a wedding because I grew up in Arizona and had never left the state. Then in the middle of COVID, I decided, “I’m going to move all the way across the country and go to school in Georgia.” So I went out there. It was my first year, and I was working at a country club. I met a lot of the members, and I got invited to a wedding as a plus one.
The ceremony was very nice, very pretty. Then it got to the reception, and I was like, “Oh, okay.” It had this rave techno theme going on. I thought it was really cool—I’d never seen anything like it before. They made the announcement: “The open bar is officially open, so you guys can go crazy.”
I don’t drink—I’ve seen people have a lot of bad experiences with alcohol—so I stayed away. Within two hours of the wedding starting, people were already completely wasted. I thought, “Oh, that’s not a good look.”
The best man gets up to give a speech, but he was very intoxicated, slurring his words and saying all the wrong stuff. The groom tried to take the mic and said, “Hey, let’s just sit down, it’s okay.” The best man shoved him back, and the groom fell onto the table with the cake.
The cake ended up on the groom, and the best man started laughing. He licked some frosting off his finger and said, “At least you picked a good cake flavor. Can’t say the same thing about your wife.” I was just sitting there like, “Is this actually happening right now?”
Christa Innis: No, that’s like something you see in a movie. I cannot believe that.
Lex Harper: It was so bad. They’re still married, though. They were going to come to our wedding because they became really good family friends.
Christa Innis: I would be livid at the best man. That’s one of the things you always hear—if you’re going to give a speech, don’t drink too much beforehand. Keep it classy. If you can’t handle your liquor, maybe don’t give a speech.
Lex Harper: I’ve seen a lot of 2025 brides now posting their rules for weddings, kind of like, “These are my rules for my wedding.” They’ve been getting a lot of backlash for it.
One thing that upset people with our wedding was that it was child-free. That’s just what we wanted to do. It wasn’t about purposely excluding kids, but if there’s only one child who’s four, she’s not going to want to hang out with all the adults.
People online have been saying, “That’s so selfish. You can’t do that. Weddings are about family.” And the brides are like, “It’s my day.”
Christa Innis: Whenever I post about child-free weddings or do a skit about it, it always goes so controversial. People go crazy over it. I think it’s really about respecting what people want for their own weddings.
At our wedding, we only invited our nieces and nephews, so there were seven kids total. We didn’t invite friends’ kids or anyone under 18, just because it made sense for us.
Lex Harper: I’ve noticed the same backlash happens with destination weddings. People get very upset about those, too.
Debating Wedding Etiquette
Christa Innis: That’s so funny that you brought that up because I just saw someone comment on one of the videos saying, “It’s so, so selfish of someone to want a destination wedding because they’re asking for so much money.” And I was like, what? Like, I’ve been invited to a destination wedding, and I just couldn’t make it. I just said no, and I wasn’t offended. I just don’t get it—being offended by other people’s wedding choices.
And I think, too, it’s like people want to complain so much about how other people are choosing to do their day. Like, “Oh, that’s so expensive,” or “The way they’re asking bridesmaids is the wrong way.” And it’s like, it’s not your wedding. But if you were asked and you want to say no, just say no. Or… yeah, people like to complain, I guess.
Okay, so really quick before we get into the wedding submission that I want us to blind react to, I added this fun segment called “Pick a Side” on wedding drama kind of debates. I know we’re kind of just talking about some big ones, but this first one: Is it ever okay to uninvite someone to your wedding? Why or why not?
Lex Harper: I’d say yes. Because if you look at, like, realistic timelines, most people won’t get married for, like, nine months to a year. Sometimes even longer than that. So if there’s something dramatic that happens, like, in their timeline, I think it’s okay to uninvite them.
The one thing I would say it’s not okay to do—I’ve had some stories sent in to me, or I’ve known people who were like the beige moms you see all over TikTok, with this aesthetic of “This is what I have, this is what it needs to be.”
I’ve seen a story where they uninvited one of the bridesmaids because she got pregnant. She was supposed to be the maid of honor, and the bride didn’t want her to stand up there with her when she was eight months pregnant because it would “draw attention away” from her. They had been friends since they were six years old—a 20-year friendship—and she uninvited her for that.
That, I would say, is not okay. That’s true colors showing. But if it’s something like falling out of touch, friends drifting apart—it happens all the time—I think that’s okay.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Lex Harper: Yeah.
Christa Innis: No, I totally agree with that.
I think, too, like if it’s a situation where maybe someone was dating when you invited them and you were closer to the person they were dating, but they broke up, and you’re like, “Well, I’m not even close to that person anymore.” I could see that being a reason. Like, “It’d be kind of weird if they came now.”
Or if there’s just, like, weird vibes with someone, like you’re not getting along anymore, I totally agree with that.
What’s your opinion on giving guests a plus one? I know you had a small wedding, so what did you do about the plus ones?
Wedding Etiquette and Drama Unfolds
Lex Harper: Just because we did a family-only wedding, we didn’t have anybody do a plus one because our biggest thing was we didn’t want to be meeting people for the first time on our wedding day. We kind of did a wedding weekend with it, and it’s funny because my husband was still in school. So, he got Thursday and Friday off, and we got married on Thursday.
Then we could have Friday, Saturday, Sunday with our family and everything like that. We got married in Tennessee, so we were like, we want to be able to walk around, enjoy the city, and enjoy family time. He went right back to school on Monday.
So we didn’t have anybody to have plus ones because of how small we kept it. We were also trying to keep it small because his granddad has Alzheimer’s, and having that many people in general—especially new people he doesn’t know—makes him uneasy. We wanted to stay clear of strangers and everything for him.
I think it really depends on the relationship they have if they get a plus one. If it’s a new relationship within six months, I don’t really think they will get a plus one. You’ll have other times to do stuff together, like family events, but it doesn’t need to be at the wedding.
I don’t want to be looking through my wedding pictures and having to crop someone out. The running joke in my family is when we take group pictures, the significant others—whatever they are—always go on the end of the pictures until you’re married. So if you break up, they can just get cropped out. That’s just always how it’s been.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. No, I definitely agree. I don’t think plus ones should be a guaranteed thing.
I think it definitely depends on the type of wedding, the relationship, and maybe a cutoff too. If you give everyone a plus one, your wedding’s going to double. And maybe your 16-year-old cousin shouldn’t bring her boyfriend she’s been dating for a month. So definitely think things through like that.
Okay, before we get too late, I want to read this story submission. It’s not too crazy long or anything. As I read it, we’ll just react and maybe respond at the end.
Here we go. And I’ve not read this—I have my husband helping me out, and he’s pasting them in here. So I’m going to react with you.
This story says:
“I met my now-husband, boyfriend at the time, in August 2022. And at the end of September, one of his best friends was getting married. Since we were newly dating, he asked the groom if I could come to the reception only. I didn’t need a seat, a plate—I don’t drink—I would just come to dance.
I showed up and met all of his friends, and one of the friends’ girlfriends, in particular, was overly friendly and made me feel welcome. I immediately saw through it because she gave me major pick-me vibes. She was one of the guys, the type of girl who was the only one allowed in the group chats.”
Christa Innis: The only one to come to guys’ nights. All the get-togethers had to be at her house. Her wedding was two weeks after this wedding, and that’s all she talked about with me at the wedding—how much better her wedding was going to be, how good the food and music were going to be, and how they had top-shelf alcohol in an open bar instead of a cash bar.
So, first and foremost, talking about your own wedding coming up at a new wedding is so tacky. I think that’s so wrong.
Lex Harper: Very much. Even if it already happened and you’re comparing it to this one, that’s just not okay. Everybody has a different background and everything, so your tastes are automatically going to be different. But you also don’t know the financial position they’re in.
And then if it’s better than your wedding—for example, if your budget was 20,000 and theirs was 40,000—you can always find something to be bitter about. You’re like, “Oh, well, I don’t like this, it’s tacky, it’s cheesy,” and it’s like, okay. You know? Exactly. It doesn’t matter.
Christa Innis: Right. Yeah. I know. I just feel like, what a… I don’t know, I just can’t imagine being at someone’s wedding and criticizing what they’re doing with their completely different setup.
All right, let’s see what else happens here. Fast forward—I got to her wedding late because my sister’s rehearsal dinner was that night.
That sounds like a very crazy, busy weekend. I arrived at the start of the reception. Her friend was so drunk, she was taken away in an ambulance.
Lex Harper: Oh my gosh.
Christa Innis: Apparently, that’s a normal occurrence for her because no one batted an eye as she was put onto the stretcher. Oh my God. At what point is it like, okay, maybe this is not a good place. Maybe she shouldn’t be drinking at an event that happens normally.
Lex Harper: Either. If they’re letting you continue to do that, they need to have an intervention or something and be like, “Hey!”
Christa Innis: Yeah, like, I don’t know if this is right… what we should be doing. Oh my gosh, okay. As the night went on, the bride got sloppy drunk, her friends were fighting, their DJ canceled at the last minute so their feelings weren’t great, and we eventually just left.
That, again, sounds like a movie scene.
Lex Harper: That’s karma for talking about the other girl’s wedding.
Christa Innis: Yeah, literally, like she’s talking so high and mighty about her own wedding, and then it’s like, your top-shelf liquor got you a little too sloppy.
Fast forward two weeks later, and another couple of their friends were getting married. Tell me why she talked about her own wedding during the entire cocktail hour and dinner.
Lex Harper: No.
Christa Innis: It didn’t even faze her. Girl, you screwed up at your own wedding, and now you’re going to… I think a lot of it comes from your own, maybe insecurities or… I don’t know.
Lex Harper: I think people get so used to and comfortable with lying to themselves to make themselves feel better. They’re like, “Oh, this happened, but it wasn’t that bad.” You’re like, “We’re remembering these two completely different ways.”
It’s good for you to put an interesting spin on it, but you remember this much when this much happened.
Christa Innis: Exactly. Yeah, they’re just picking out pieces of what makes sense or what they want to remember.
So, she says, “We never really clicked.”
Like I said, she gave off Pick Me vibes, and I didn’t really want a friendship with her. Not to mention, she screamed at me when she found out I was pregnant before she was! Is this girl? This is terrible. And told me we were supposed to be pregnant together. We weren’t even close friends. What? I wouldn’t even say that to my closest friend.
Christa Innis: Maybe in a joking way, but like definitely not someone I barely know.
Lex Harper: That’s pretty creepy. And then, like, the kids are born and she’s like, “They’re gonna get married.” Like, they’re not gonna be friends. Yeah.
Christa Innis: Yeah. “We’re gonna hang out every day.” Oh my gosh. Anyways, I can’t wait to see what you do with this story.
I don’t want to give real names or defining clues because this one was a doozy. Oh my gosh. I cannot. That is insane.
That was a good one to read because sometimes I read stories, and I’m like, it can go one of two ways. This one, like, constantly things happen. Man, girl, I wonder if she hasn’t—I might need to reach out to her and see if she has any updates of, like, this girl’s trying to reach out to her.
Weekly Confessions: Rating the Chaos
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. All right. So we don’t have much time left. I don’t want this to kick us off, but I want to end with reading some weekly confessions. So I started asking my Instagram followers to share their weekly confessions. So what we’re going to do is play a little drama confession game. I’m going to read the confession, and then I want you to rate it from one to 10—one being mild tea and 10 being absolute chaos.
So I’ve got three here. I’m going to read to you, and I’ve not read them yet. So let’s see what we got. Okay. First one:
Christa Innis: “Okay. Mother-in-law gave me the bra she wore on her wedding night for the next time Hubs and I had a special night.”
Lex Harper: It’s just so uncomfortable. Oh, my God. Can we say like 25? Yeah, for real. And that, like, does she want her to tell her husband and be like, “You’re in the middle of it.” And they’re like, “This is your mom’s bra. Yeah, this is your mom.”
Christa Innis: What? Tell your husband, “Hey, we wore it last night.” Like, weird.
Christa Innis: All right, confession two: “My mother-in-law forgot the rings on purpose on our wedding day in hopes her son would change his mind.”
Lex Harper: That’d be like a 10. I’d be so upset.
Christa Innis: Yeah. When I read this, I’m like, did they know the mother-in-law had ill feelings towards them? Because I’d be like, I would never be giving her the rings.
Lex Harper: Buster with that. For our rings at our wedding, it was so funny because I, like—obviously the girls get engagement rings and everything. We had an engagement party back in Arizona, and my husband wanted to wear a ring for it, so I got him some rubber silicone ones. And he never took it off after the engagement party, and I never thought anything of it. So we’re up at the altar getting married, and I go to put his ring on, and he still has his other ring on. I’m like—
Christa Innis: He’s—
Lex Harper: Like, what?
Christa Innis: Yeah. I love it.
Lex Harper: It’s so comfy for him. He didn’t want to take it off.
Christa Innis: I love it. I wouldn’t trust you with that. We held our rings the whole time.
Lex Harper: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Oh, exactly.
Christa Innis: All right. And last one—and I’m hoping this doesn’t cut me off. I think we should be fine. Okay: “Mother-in-law got a room right next to ours for wedding night. We changed it, and she got grumpy and then teased me.”
Christa Innis: Why do you want the room next to your son and his new wife?
Lex Harper: Uh-uh. No. No.
Christa Innis: Those were—couldn’t deal with that at all. Really, I think those were all like 11 plus, at least.
Lex Harper: All right. So bad.
Christa Innis: Those were awesome. Oh my gosh. Well, thank you for coming on and reacting with me. I’m so excited to share this because these were some great stories, and you had some awesome ones yourself.
Christa Innis: Where can everyone follow you on social media and see more of your amazing content?
Lex Harper: They can follow me on TikTok. My TikTok is L-E-X-X underscore Harper. H-A-R-P-E-R-O-1. I don’t even know what my Instagram is. It should be the same, but it’s not. I know it’s—
Christa Innis: Not. And you can send them to me too, and I will make sure they’re in the show notes as well.
Lex Harper: Yeah, my Instagram one’s long, so I’ll send you that one. Okay.
Lex Harper: But I was gonna ask you something too. I’ve been getting so many comments and DMs and everything. They’re like, “You two need to be doing story times together. Like, you need a collab. You need to do this.” So do you care if I take a picture and put like a teaser, like on my story for it, and be like—
Christa Innis: Yeah, of course. Yeah.
Christa Innis: And then I hope this doesn’t cut out, but yeah, of course. Absolutely. You can do that.
Christa Innis: And when this is all done too, I’ll send you an email with some clips that you can share as well and like tease it and all the links and all that.
Lex Harper: Awesome.
Christa Innis: Well, thank you so much. It was so nice meeting you.
Lex Harper: Nice meeting you too.
Christa Innis: All right. Bye.