My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!
At what point does “family drama” stop being drama and start being a full-blown red flag?
This episode starts with laughs, storytelling, and Shawna Lander breaking down how she turned real-life motherhood chaos into characters people can’t get enough of. From playing every role to saying the things most moms don’t, she shares what it’s really like behind the scenes, and why those stories hit reality.
Until this week’s submission starts into spirals. What starts as wedding tension turns into manipulation, crossed boundaries, and in-laws who keep pushing further every time you think it can’t get worse. The kind of behavior that makes you stop mid-story and think “this isn’t normal.”
Hear the full story, the warning signs, and what happens when boundaries get pushed too far.
Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month!
Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments
- The Stepmom Meltdown – What starts as wedding planning quickly turns tense when a stepmom’s reaction sets the tone for everything that follows.
- The Dress Disaster – A forgotten wedding dress adds chaos to an already emotionally charged situation.
- Control Disguised as Care – In-laws use guilt, money, and pressure to try to control the couple’s decisions.
- Crossing the Line – In-Law refuses breastfeeding and fed the baby against the mother’s wishes becomes a major breaking point.
- False Accusations – Lies about cheating and relapse show just how far the manipulation goes.
- The Breaking Point – A shocking escalation pushes the situation from toxic to truly alarming.
- Choosing Your Partner – The husband finally recognizes the pattern and takes a stand.
- A Full Circle Ending – The couple rebuilds their life on their terms, with stronger boundaries in place.
- Red Light, Green Light Reality Check – From “just ignore them” to overstepping in-laws, Christa and Shawna call out what’s acceptable, and what’s an immediate ‘no’.
- Real Life Into Characters – Shawna shares how creating characters became a way to tell honest stories about motherhood while still keeping parts of her life private.
Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode
- “Dynamics just get magnified with children.” – Shawna Lander
- “It’s in the sharing of our stories that we learn” – Shawna Lander
- “If he’s not standing up for you, he’s not putting you first.” – Shawna Lander
- “You can understand where it’s coming from, but that doesn’t make it okay”– Shawna Lander
- “I want to make things that help people feel seen and validated” – Shawna Lander
- “The journey is what makes the process even better.” – Christa Innis
- “ If you really want to move forward in your marriage, you have to make a choice.” – Christa Innis
- “So many things just come down to mutual respect.” – Christa Innis
- “ The beauty with entertainment and creation is being able to connect with people” – Christa Innis
- “Lesson of the day: Just invite the people you wanted.” – Christa Innis
*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.
About Shawna Lander
Shawna Lander is a creator and storyteller known for bringing relatable, and often chaotic, family dynamics to life through her viral name, Shawna the Mom. By playing multiple characters herself, she explores the realities of motherhood, relationships, and family reality in a way that feels both entertaining and uncomfortably real.
Shawna shares how becoming a mom shifted her creative path, why she started telling the stories she felt were missing online, and how her work is rooted in helping people feel seen, validated, and understood through storytelling.
Her content says the quiet parts out loud, using characters and humor, but always rooted in something real.
Follow Shawna Lander:
Join the Drama with Christa Innis:
- Website
- TikTok
- YouTube
- Get Christa’s Book, Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris & Sloan Story
Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!
Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.
Submit your story today: Story Submission Form
Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!
A Team Dklutr Production
Blog Transcript:
Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Christa Innis: Hi, Shawna.
Shawna Lander: Hi Christa.
Christa Innis: Hi. How’s it
Shawna Lander: going?
Christa Innis: Good. I’m so happy to talk to you. I, I was just saying for recording, I feel like you are the number one person that I feel like people request to come on the podcast. People just love you.
Shawna Lander: That’s Oh, that’s so sweet. I can’t believe that people, I don’t know, wanna hear my opinion on this kinda stuff.
Fun.
Christa Innis: No. Yeah. I mean, I just, I feel like you’ve just started such a, um. An amazing art on social media, and of course we’ll get into, you know, everything that you do. But starting off, can you just tell everybody a little bit about you and we’ll kind of just go from there. I mean, I know it’s probably a funny question ’cause you’re like, where do I start?
Shawna Lander: I know, right? Yeah. Um, and this, it’s so funny because I am on social media, but I’m not really on social media. I put characters on social media and so Yeah, I understand the question. Um, okay, so I’m a mom of two and an actress and a writer, and I never know what else you wanna know about me. I’m researching genealogy right now for my family’s lineage.
Christa Innis: Oh, I love that. No, I,
Shawna Lander: oh my gosh. I know I’ve gotten so into it.
Christa Innis: I feel like it’s, it’s interesting because for one of my skits, I just like tried drawing a family tree and I’m like, I don’t, I’m totally butchering this. I don’t know how genealogy and all that is supposed to work. Yeah.
Shawna Lander: Yeah. It’s the craziest thing I’ve found, uh, ancestors going back, like, um, I think it’s three great, great greats now, uh, but like on both sides of my family and I’m like, oh, my family’s been all over the country, all over the US and, um, originally from like, not the US at all.
And so I’m like, oh my God, we’re immigrants.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Shawna Lander: Very fun.
Christa Innis: I love that. It’s so interesting to like learn about your heritage and like where your family lived and I love that stuff.
Shawna Lander: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Um, but it’s interesting you say like, people know me, but not really me because of all the characters you play. And what do you think, like starting off, like what do you think is like kinda led you that direction?
Like when you, I know you’re sitting, you’re an actress, you’ve kind of always. Been in the area of content creation. So for you, I think that’s really interesting because I feel that too sometimes. Like I kind of like, and I don’t wanna put words in your mouth, but sometimes I’m able to like hide behind characters in a way.
Shawna Lander: Oh, totally.
Christa Innis: I don’t like sharing personal things on social media. So is that kind of where you are with it or how does that kind of tie in you think?
Shawna Lander: I mean, it already, it always started for me as um, a creative outlet because I’m an actor and so I wanted to act. I had a baby so I couldn’t go to set. Um, and then also I had a baby and I looked down at this beautiful, perfect little creature and I was like, well, this is nothing like I ever expected it to be.
Uh, why aren’t we telling the real story of how this goes? And, uh, so world’s combined. And I was like, I can actually tell these kinds of stories. And so that’s how I got started doing skits on social media. It kind of ticked a lot of boxes for me. I got to act, I got to actually talk about what this is really like.
Um, becoming a mom and, well, I guess those are the only two boxes, but checked to both.
Christa Innis: Yeah. But I feel like the relationship dynamic too, in all your skits is so interesting and I think people learn so much better and like understand or relate through storytelling so much better than just like you coming on the screen and being like, Hey, this is motherhood.
It’s more like you’re able to see like, oh, this, I went through this thing and you so, um, beautifully down on paper for me.
Shawna Lander: Hmm. Yeah. Um, I think that’s true. I think that if you listen to like marginalized folks, they always say, you know, representation matters. And I think that the story of motherhood, um, and really relationships kind of from.
The point of view of a woman who’s going through this transition. It’s not really something that’s been explored a whole lot, or at least not something that I’ve really seen. And so that’s really, uh, has been my impetus.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I love that. So I know I’m kind of,
Shawna Lander: you answer your previous question and yes, I absolutely, uh, get to hide, but that’s kind of the nature of acting.
I mean, I got into it because of acting, not necessarily because I wanted to be on social media, but
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Shawna Lander: You know?
Christa Innis: Yeah. But I think that’s the beauty of social media too, is that you can create your own verse, your own universe, your own Oh my god, universe, and Yeah.
Shawna Lander: It’s phenomenal. Yeah, exactly.
Christa Innis: And especially when you talk about with being a mom like that, what, what a beauty to be able to like do it in your own flexibility, your own space.
Yeah. Create these own characters. And you are, you’re the producer, the actor, the writer. Mm-hmm. So for anyone that doesn’t know because I kind of jumping the gun, ’cause I’m, I’m like geeking out. I’m so excited. But for anyone that hasn’t fallen down the Shawna verse how, like rabbit hole, how can you explain it to them?
Like how did it kind of get started and what’s this world that you’ve created online?
Shawna Lander: Oh man. Well, I, it started out as standalone skits about becoming a mother, about mom life. Um, and it. Included a couple of characters here and there, recurring people, like a husband character. Uh, eventually there was a mother-in-law character.
And then from the reaction to these characters, people started asking for more types of characters. So I ended up with a sister-in-law character who was kind of terrible. Um, that was by request. And then when I had like a sort of a, a terrible matriarch and a terrible sister-in-law, I then needed a wonderful matriarch.
And so that’s how the, uh, the, the main mom, the Shawna character’s mother was born. Um, and then once I had kind of several characters that would recur, uh, it got, it became really interesting me to me to think about what would these characters do in like a long form storyline and particularly the sister-in-law character who was always really horrible to Shawna, the mom character.
Um. What would happen to that terrible sister-in-law character if she got pregnant and endured the transformation required to become a mother. And so that’s how the story, that’s how the storyline was born.
Motherhood, Creativity, and Real Stories
Christa Innis: I love that. I love how you have kind of the antagonist and protagonist kind of showing different relationships of like how they work through different stages.
Um, and especially like tying in the motherhood aspect of like being a new mom versus maybe like a mom from like the previous generation, how they parent. Yeah. So what do you think like your biggest challenges have been with like demonstrating something from like, thought to onscreen?
Shawna Lander: Uh, fantastic question.
Um, I don’t know how to answer that.
Christa Innis: That’s okay. Kind of just like, can you, I mean, I. Can I say it like, I saw your episode about the miscarriage and I was just so blown away with how you represented that so beautifully. I mean, I was just like, I was like, what an amazing like world we’re living in where someone can put this art on screen and just make us feel collectively together.
So I wanna applaud you for that, but I mean, I had to be like very challenging to kind of think of how are people reacting to this? What’s an emotion people might have? Um, so that was one that, like, when I was writing this question, I was like, that’s something that like came to mind for me.
Shawna Lander: Yeah. Uh, I wanted to represent grief with that storyline.
Um, it’s just about the worst thing that could happen to anyone is to, um, have the possibility of a baby or want a baby, you know, have a child, and then to lose your child. Worst thing that anyone could go through. Uh, I went through breast cancer and, um, so going through treatment and stuff, you know, I faced mortality.
There’s a lot of grief involved in that.
Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.
Shawna Lander: Um, and so, you know, I’ve had grief in my own life. I’ve touched grief, I’ve been touched by grief. Um, and when you’re going through something that it that huge, it, um, it like changes you fundamentally, I feel like I’m changed on a cellular level because of some things that I’ve gone through.
And I think it’s no different losing a child like that. Um, and at the same time, it’s something that’s not talked about a whole lot and, um, uh, something that is really challenging in the US right now. Um, and yeah. And so I just, I wanted to represent. All the women that have, have been through it. And this, the entirety of everything that I’ve done on social media has always been, um, because when I had my baby, I felt like I haven’t seen anything that is representing how I’m feeling, what I’m going through right now.
Mm-hmm. Um, and so I want to make things that help people feel seen and feel validated.
Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.
Cancer and Starting Over
Shawna Lander: And so I talk about family dynamics, I talk about, um, you know, maybe the just stuff I haven’t seen talked about enough.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I feel like it’s like the beauty with like entertainment and creation is being able to connect with people or see things that maybe you, um, had, had never seen before, but you experienced it for yourself and you’re like, how do I deal with these feelings?
Um,
Shawna Lander: yeah.
Christa Innis: So you talk about being diagnosed with breast cancer, and I think I read it was like 2021. And so you started making content before.
Shawna Lander: Yeah.
Christa Innis: And then content after. So how do you think you as, I mean, I’m sure this is a very loaded question, so feel free to answer how you want, but how do you think that affected you before versus after in motherhood and your storytelling?
Um, ’cause I know you also shared about your journey with breast cancer on social media as well.
Shawna Lander: Yeah, it was, um, uh, really kind of a, a beautiful thing to like experience witness firsthand, I guess experience. But, um, I, I, I, it’s sort of strange. I’m sort of divorced in my mind from that time period in my life.
And so it does sort of thing seem like it’s something that I witnessed rather than something I went through, which I probably need to unpack, but one step at a time. Um, so I started with content making, making skits about being a mom. Uh, and I had just had my second, I had been doing content for a while, but nothing gained any traction until I got on TikTok.
Okay. Um, and when I got on TikTok, I saw. Other people making skits, talking to themselves. Mm-hmm. Everything I had done up to that point, I put my husband, my real life husband in the skits and it took forever. And, uh, it’s way harder to coordinate two people’s schedules. Um, especially ’cause he was the, the breadwinner.
And so he was at work, I was at home, I had tons of free time, uh, to think up all these stories and, you know, write them down. And he didn’t have that time. Uh, so I got on TikTok and I was like, what? I could just do it all myself. Okay. And so that’s how that began. And I just started making a little skit a day.
Um, just this personal challenge. Can I do one every single day? Just these one-off little stories. And I found that I could. Um, and they got, they were received well, people liked them. And then one day I couldn’t put a, a skid up because I had to go get a mammogram ’cause I had felt something. Mm. So I came online and I was like, ah, sorry.
No skit today. I have to go get a mammogram. And so then naturally people were like, update us. And uh, so then the diagnosis came, uh, not too, not too long after. And I was like, oh, well, okay, so it is, it is cancer. Uh, that sucks. And, um, everyone was incredibly supportive. They had liked what I had done skit wise, and they felt seen and supported by that work.
And so people came out in droves to be like, we support you. And it was like the most touching thing, um, that could have ever happened at that, that point in time. Uh, because my personal life people, family and friends around me didn’t handle it quite as well and were not quite as supportive. And, uh, so it was like I had this.
This, I don’t know, worldwide community of people like lifting me up. And it was instrumental, like it really got me through it. Um, and then fun fact about going through cancer treatment, um, coming out of the other, the other end of it, you have all this, this drive and will to live when you’re going through treatment and then you get out of treatment and you’re like, yes.
And then nothing happens and everything just sort of is dead air. And so you, you get this, this feeling of like, oh my God, what now? And what did I fight so hard for? Because it’s just this place of sta stagnancy. So I had a little identity crisis.
Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.
Shawna Lander: I’m, it was actually a very big one, but I threw myself back into posting, so I reposted all my old skits and that gave me time because you’re also really, really tired and like really recovering after going through five months of chemo, um, and surgery.
And so that gave me, reposting. All my old skids gave me time to sort of like, get my brain around how do I write these stories again and how do I make these again? And then, uh, it was very shortly after that that I started the storyline.
Christa Innis: Wow.
Shawna Lander: That was a long answer.
Christa Innis: No, that was so beautifully said though, because I feel like people want to hear the journey and I feel like the journey is what makes.
The process even better, right? It’s like, I feel like so many times focus on the finish line, but the journey is like, what makes it matter? If that makes sense.
Shawna Lander: Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. It’s been quite a journey. Um, I think I probably my next move is to, like I said a minute ago, to unpack all of that. So I probably will start unpacking it online.
Yeah. Everything else is been online, so it might as well,
Christa Innis: right? Yeah, because I feel like you are probably just like, let’s get to this next thing. And you’re probably just, it’s almost like that. Uh, what do they say? Like, uh, when you’re, you’re chasing, you’re, if you’re chasing the next thing, you kind of like, don’t necessarily process what happened here, like the past.
Um, ’cause I mean, I noticed Yeah. Which I think for,
Shawna Lander: what were you gonna say?
Christa Innis: No, you, I’m sorry. You go ahead.
Shawna Lander: Which I think for me is necessary. Uh, or at least in that moment, like I really couldn’t process it. I had to. I had, I needed a focus, um, to be able to sort of let the emotionality of all of it kind of be, um, I had to, I had, and I needed a focus.
So this has been incredibly helpful for me personally.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Shawna Lander: And I wrote a book.
Christa Innis: Yes. I was gonna ask you about that. Like what’s, what’s next for you? What are you working on? I know you are writing a book and this is more of your personal story. Yeah. This is separate from Shawna verse, this is the real Shawna story.
Correct?
Shawna Lander: Yes. Yeah. Um, that’s another thing. When I started skits, people were like, this lady’s miserable. She does, is complain. Um, but I never was talking about my personal life. I was like, this, these are just the kinds of things moms go through. And so this is, um, the story of what it was like for me to.
Decide I want a baby, then get pregnant, then go through pregnancy, then have a, this is the story of me becoming a mom and therefore finding my artistic voice and starting on social media.
Christa Innis: I love that. So how did you decide, like as you’re like doing the writing process, how did you decide what things you wanted to include?
What things you wanted to exclude?
Shawna Lander: Hmm. Um, I think just when I reflected back on the time period, it was just the big things that happened, and so I just kind of wrote them in chronological order. Um, and I, when, you know, when you have a baby, you, it’s sort of, um, time isn’t really linear. And so once the baby comes in, the storyline, it kind of goes back and forth, back and forth, back and forth because ugh, that’s what it’s like.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Memories are weird. I was just, my daughter turned three this week and literally like the night before her birthday, my husband and I were just like, after she went to bed, my husband and I were just like. A mess. Like I’m just like, oh
Shawna Lander: yeah,
Christa Innis: oh my gosh. Like, and it kind of like kinda what we’re just talking about.
It was like when you’re kind of moving, like to get through this day, get through this lesson, this, you know, whatever, motherhood, all of a sudden you’re like, where’d the last year ago? What did,
Shawna Lander: yeah.
Christa Innis: And it’s wild because we’re so, we’re so, like as parents, I feel like getting through this task or this task, okay, nap time.
Okay, bedtime, you know, all these things. And you’re like, wait, did I soak it in enough? Was I, you know, it’s just like all those like questions of motherhood,
Shawna Lander: torture yourself and then it’s the end of the night you put the baby down and then you’re like looking through the photos from the day.
Christa Innis: Yes. So I feel like one of the most wild things of like, and I heard it obviously, like when I was pregnant or before I had my daughter.
Yeah. People would talk about how like, oh yeah, you get them down to bed and then you miss them. And I was like, what? Literally I’d be staring at her monitor. I’m like, oh, she’s so cute. Oh, is
Shawna Lander: she?
Christa Innis: Yeah. And then I’m like,
Shawna Lander: we
Christa Innis: just
Shawna Lander: please don’t wake up.
Christa Innis: I know. It’s like you focus so long on getting them to bed and then they go to bed and you’re like, oh, I miss them.
Oh, look how cute. She’s when she sleeps. And then I’m like, it’s an hour. And I’m like, okay, I should probably go to bed myself. But, um, I love that. So when, when do you plan on releasing your book or what’s like kind of that process looking like for you?
Shawna Lander: Yeah, so I, uh, don’t know anything about having, writing a book and being out there.
So, um, it releases the release date’s October 20th and there’s a marketing team and, uh, we’re gonna like market it and maybe I’m gonna do a tour. I don’t really know.
Christa Innis: Okay.
Shawna Lander: Don’t ask me these kinds of questions.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Shawna Lander: I don’t
Christa Innis: dunno. You’re like, I dunno. Yeah, you’re in the process right now. No, I love that. I think that’s amazing.
So with outside of writing the book, working on this series, which I’m sure that takes up most of your time, what’s kinda your process for the series? Like, do you always know what’s gonna happen? Do you have it all like written out? Are you kind of like, Ooh, this would be good? I’m gonna throw this in there.
Shawna Lander: Yeah, no, it’s both. I outline it so it’s outlined through the year, um, wow. Year and I did this in past year. Yeah. Yeah. It’s, uh, you know, this is like, these are the big beats of what’s gonna happen in the story. Yeah. So Shawna losing the baby last year, that was planned in January. Um, and then so, so there this year we’ve got the things that are planned, but there’s always room for.
Uh, something that comes to me and it’s the most fun in the writing process when I’m sitting there writing the scene when something surprises me when a character says something and I’m like, shut up. So I get to live it in the writing process. Um, yeah, and it it, so the It’s both the answer’s both. Yeah.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I love that. And you, you’re so like, I feel like you’re so organized with your, your right. Like you, I dunno if this is the right word, but com I feel like you compartmentalize everything a little bit better because I’m like, I do the skit stuff, but I’m so all over the place and I’m in the first, I’m like, let’s see what happens today.
I like do some like, but I feel like you do a great job of like writing it out and you’re like, okay, today’s like a filming day and I’m filming this character.
Shawna Lander: Oh, yeah.
Christa Innis: And your outfit changes. It’s so well done. So for anyone that hasn’t watched, like you get in the Shawna verse, I mean, I’m just always so mess rise.
I’m like, how am I watching? One person on screen, but you do each person so well individually. It’s, it’s amazing.
Shawna Lander: Thank you. You’re, um, you’re making me blush I love your stuff too. So, uh, where do you get inspiration? Where do you get your storylines?
Christa Innis: It’s wild. I mean, so I went to school for writing and so I’ve always like created story.
Oh. And yeah, so like, but I kind of lost it in the mix because when I graduated from college, I went into marketing and social media right away. And so I kind of stopped creating for myself and I was working with other brands. I would create social media and it was my maternity leave where ah, I literally that magical time,
Shawna Lander: I’m telling you like, have a baby, you become your most creative self.
It’s insane.
Christa Innis: It’s wild. I know. I remember talking to a mom friend when I was pregnant and she owns a business, um, like a design business and. I was like, how do you get stuff done? She’s like, I’m telling you, something happens. She’s like,
Shawna Lander: yeah,
Christa Innis: my son naps. And I’m just like, I only have an hour. Let me see what I can get done.
And
Shawna Lander: yeah.
Christa Innis: Kind of thing happened, but, and I think I was so used to like working a lot, not necessarily a workaholic, but before my daughter was born, I was like the person, I would stay late in the office, I’d be working at night on my phone, and so. During maternity leave. I was like, when she’s like napping on me, I was like, what am I gonna do?
And then like started.
Shawna Lander: Yeah, because your brain is going, you can’t move but your brain. Yeah.
Christa Innis: Yeah. And so like, it kind of started with like, I was in a ton of weddings in my like twenties and early thirties that I was like, I would always hear wedding drama stories and like I would see things and I would see how like crazy some family members could be.
And so I was like, so I kind of started with like a crazy like little skit with like just two people. Never did like a long storyline, but then people just wanted more. And so
Shawna Lander: people want it, people want the drama.
Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. And so like that kind of like you kind of said like throwing yourself into this new verse and like creating these characters that kind of brought back the spark of like, yes, I love creating, I love writing.
So yeah. Gotta thank the TikTok.
Shawna Lander: Cool.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Shawna Lander: Thank you. Social media, you know, that we’re able to, to create, we have a place to put it.
Christa Innis: I know I always think about when I see people on here creating these stories or you know, whether no matter what kind of content they create, it’s like so much opportunity out there that I feel like was not there before.
Because it’s like if you don’t have a direct contact with like Hollywood or this like that never would’ve happened.
Shawna Lander: Yeah, yeah. I agree.
Christa Innis: Yeah, so it’s amazing.
Shawna Lander: And that really was like the traditional route. When I got started, I really thought, oh, I’ll put some skits on the internet. Maybe someone will see them and they’ll be like, you know, by the time I’m ready to get back to set when the kid’s a toddler or something, um, somebody I, you know, somebody will see my stuff and they’ll be like, you, obviously you.
Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.
Shawna Lander: I really thought that’s the way it would go. I did not think the audience would come to me.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Because now you have full creative control and you can make Yeah. It as unhinged or as serious. Yeah.
Shawna Lander: Yeah. It’s,
Christa Innis: yeah.
Shawna Lander: No, no barriers.
Christa Innis: People are always like, because I have a wild character Kate in my storylines, and they’re like, oh, I would love to see Kate and Barb go at it.
’cause like is like the wild Did
Shawna Lander: do that, that would be so fun. We could figure out a way to do that.
Christa Innis: That’d be so fun. I know. ’cause I always see like, I see like Barb and I’m like, oh yeah, we’ve got that same kind like idea of like that, that mother-in-law character. But um, yeah, it’s funny. What’s the most like
Shawna Lander: in the world?
I feel, I feel for her, you know, she’s having a hard time, but she does indeed exist in the world and make things hard for others.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I know. And like you think all these like stories, like they, you’re like, especially like when I like create stuff, I’m like, oh, this is like so wild. No one would actually do this.
Yeah. And then I, people comment and they’re like, my mother-in-law did this or my cousin did this, my uncle, you know, it happened. Yeah. It’s wild.
Shawna Lander: Yeah. A hundred percent happened.
Christa Innis: People are not What’s the most, um, unhinged thing you think Barb has done before in your story?
Shawna Lander: Oh lord. Um, hold on, let me think back.
Um, I mean, it’s pretty unhinged of her to try and beat up Deedee. Mm-hmm. She tried to beat up Shawna’s mom.
Christa Innis: I remember
Shawna Lander: that. Um, that, that was pretty unhinged. It. She ruined Jen’s proposal. That was terrible on Christmas. Oh, so she ruined Christmas and the proposal. That was awful. Um, yeah, those are, those are those two things.
Christa Innis: Those are big
Shawna Lander: ones. Those pretty good. She showed up at the elementary school. That was pretty bad too. She’s Oh,
Christa Innis: that one.
Shawna Lander: Cool. What about Katie,
Christa Innis: Kate? She, um, oh gosh. Is it
Shawna Lander: Kate?
Christa Innis: Kate.
Shawna Lander: Kate. Okay.
Christa Innis: So she, the series started off as, um, boyfriend’s mom. She tries to show up at proposal, so, oh, that way ended up turning into your,
Shawna Lander: that’s such a barb.
What a barb thing to do. What
Christa Innis: a Kate. So, yeah, so she, when he said, Hey, I want a surprise, I wanna surprise Sloan, my girlfriend, um, and Santa Monica to propose. She goes, let’s make it a family vacation. And she like, wants to show up. Um, and she ends up, um, trying to plan a whole family vacation. So he goes a week early so she can’t show up.
Oh. But then there’s like many things where she tries showing up at the bachelorette party, but she’s just constantly rude to slo his girlfriend or now fiance. So yeah, it’s like any kind of wild thing you can think of, she’s,
Shawna Lander: yeah. See family dynamics fascinate me to no end because she’s only wigging out like this.
No. In her family she doesn’t. Uh, and she’s trying to, she’s trying to like insert herself so that she’s not left out. She’s not forgotten. You know what I mean? Like, I get, I get what’s going on in that brain, but that’s crazy unhinged behavior.
Christa Innis: Yes. It’s that like controlling of like, um, you don’t want your son, you don’t wanna be left behind like they don’t want.
Exactly. Son. Yeah. So you can see where it comes from, but then yeah, I can
Shawna Lander: totally know where it comes from.
Christa Innis: Cody. Yeah. I can see Cody where they can’t actually see like, I’m damaging this relationship. I’m not actually Exactly. Making him want to be closer to me. I’m pushing him. Yeah. Making,
Shawna Lander: yeah. It’s, they forget that, um, you know, this is, this isn’t an autonomous person, you know, they, they only identify with them as like, um, how it pertains to them.
Like, this is, this is my son, not, this is. A person, and I may be overstepping a line here,
Christa Innis: right? It’s the, the en mesh enmeshment, the, yeah. A limb of theirs almost.
Shawna Lander: Yes.
The Red Flags: Red Light and Green Light
Christa Innis: Yes. Oh my gosh. I love it. Yeah. Barb, Barb and Kate, keeping us on our toes. Awesome. Okay, so let’s get, before we get into this week story submission, I like to do a little like red light, green light thing, um, where I’ll read like a sentence and you just tell me if it’s a red light or green light.
I think most will be pretty, it’s kind of on like,
Shawna Lander: like good to go or like, don’t do that.
Christa Innis: Yes.
Shawna Lander: So red light stop, green light. Okay. Got it.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Shawna Lander: Let’s do it
Christa Innis: kind of related to like weddings or family dynamics. Okay. In-laws showing up unannounced at to your house.
Shawna Lander: Red light
Christa Innis: parents commenting on how to raise your kids
Shawna Lander: red light.
Christa Innis: Someone saying, I
Shawna Lander: guess it depends on your relationship, but Go Red light.
Christa Innis: I know. I feel like so many things depend on like mutual respect. Yeah. Like if you have a good relationship and they’re like helpful. I think it’s different. Um, someone’s saying, I’m just being honest before criticizing you,
Shawna Lander: red light
Christa Innis: is my all be red lights.
Um, a partner saying just ignore them when there’s family drama.
Shawna Lander: Red light,
Christa Innis: a partner.
Shawna Lander: Oh, see, I’m, I’m like, hmm, I’m getting mad. Wanting to explain. Listen.
Christa Innis: Because the number of stories I get too, where they’re like, the fiances no where to be seen in this story. And it’s like the woman or whoever the main person is having to deal with the mother-in-law.
And there’s I
Shawna Lander: love that.
Christa Innis: Yeah. And there’s no one helping them. It’s just like, oh, just ignore her. This is her. Listen.
Shawna Lander: That is his family. Oh my God. If he’s not standing up for you, walk away. That’s terrible.
Christa Innis: Then you’re having to deal with that the rest of your marriage. If he
Shawna Lander: doesn’t, he’ll never stand up for you.
If it’s in early stages and he’s not standing up for you with his family, he is not putting you first, my darling. And then that’s just gonna get worse. Especially with children.
Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah.
Shawna Lander: Dynamics just get magnified with children. Go on.
Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Go on.
Shawna Lander: Yes.
Christa Innis: Um, posting about family drama online?
Shawna Lander: Well, I mean, I do it not my own family.
Christa Innis: Put their.
Shawna Lander: I would say real family drama is a, a red light, fake family drama is a green.
Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. It’s funny ’cause when I first started doing skits, I dunno if you get these comments from people that maybe like haven’t seen your stuff before, but when I first started it, a woman would comment and be like, how dare you air your dirty laundry online?
This is so shameful to your family. And I was like, this is not my trauma.
Shawna Lander: Yes. I get those. I still to this day get those questions and people now going like, what is this? Is this her real life? Like this is why I wrote the book. No, no, this is not my real life. Let me tell you my real life, which I’m now starting to regret.
Anyway, cut that part out. Just kidding by the book. My publisher’s gonna be so mad at me. I’m like, why was I so honest?
Christa Innis: I know. Well, it’s hard. It’s hard ’cause like, you know, people. I don’t know. I feel like especially too, when you’re used to like sharing characters, but people wanna see that side of you too because they like, like I said, they love you and they love your characters.
So like it’s exciting to get a story that they haven’t necessarily gotten the full story of, you know, they’ve gotten maybe like sneak bit. So yeah.
Shawna Lander: That’s fun. It was exciting for me ’cause it’s like a new creative outlet.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Shawna Lander: A new way to be creative.
Christa Innis: Do you enjoy, sorry, I’m kind of like going back, but like, do you enjoy, I know you write with Shawna verse, but
Shawna Lander: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Do you enjoy the writing or the acting more?
Shawna Lander: Oh my gosh, I know. Yeah. Um, so it was always acting, always, always, always my whole entire life. And then, uh, at some point I looked up in my twenties, I was writing. All throughout my twenties, I wrote like short films and I wrote feature length films. Um, I used to, I wrote stories as a kid.
My very first short film ever I made, when I was like 13, I wrote it and made my friend act in it with me. We gave her leukemia. So this is, I’m true to this. I knew to this. Um, but yeah. But I never knew I was a writer. I just, no one else was writing it, so I wrote it. Mm-hmm. And then one day I looked up and I was like, these are kind of good.
Wait a minute. I kind of like writing these stories. So I think it’s both.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I love that it works so well together. Thanks.
Shawna Lander: Oh, hold on. Wait, sorry. Going back. You are a writer. So do you have, do you wanna do a book? Do you wanna like challenge yourself in that way? So,
Christa Innis: yeah. So I did a book about, um, I came out with my first book last year.
About Ferris and Sloan.
Shawna Lander: Oh my God. Oh my God, that’s genius.
Christa Innis: So yeah. What’s
Shawna Lander: called, what do I not know this?
Christa Innis: It’s called, here Comes The Drama. Do
Shawna Lander: you talk?
Christa Innis: That’s
Shawna Lander: amazing.
Christa Innis: Yeah, so it came out last June and I’m currently writing book number two based on season two. So
Shawna Lander: Ban. Fantastic.
Christa Innis: Yeah. So it’s fun.
Shawna Lander: Is it like, um, what genre would you say?
Christa Innis: It’s like a romantic comedy?
Shawna Lander: Yeah,
Christa Innis: yeah. Um, or romantic dramedy is the more like, I guess official.
Shawna Lander: That is so fun. I am going to go pick this up.
Christa Innis: Yay. Oh my gosh. It’s a fun, like, quick read and I kind of say it’s like a sitcom mixed with a soap opera.
Shawna Lander: Oh
Christa Innis: my
Shawna Lander: God.
Christa Innis: Because that’s why I grew up watching. Yeah.
Yeah.
Shawna Lander: Um,
Christa Innis: did
Shawna Lander: you do an audio book for it?
Christa Innis: I did, but I, I had a voice actor do it because
Shawna Lander: I Oh, you didn’t wanna do it yourself?
Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, I was kind of. I dunno if I should. Well, yeah, it’s whatever. I was kind of talked out of it. I didn’t really want, but I didn’t
Shawna Lander: Oh, terrible.
Christa Innis: Not in a bad way.
Shawna Lander: Okay.
Christa Innis: Like what I was like, what’s the protocol for this?
Shawna Lander: Yeah.
Christa Innis: And I was also, I’m also very insecure with my like, reading voice. I don’t know. Oh my God. Criticize me.
Shawna Lander: You are so cute, darling. Girl. My, my love. No, no, no, no, no. We wanna hear it in your do it over, do it in your voice. The people will love it. This is what the people want.
Christa Innis: Yeah. We’re, we’re working on, well this still, maybe I’ll take, cut this part out, but we’re working on, I’m writing BART two and we wanna, we wanna do, um, book one and two published traditionally now because I did the first one self-published.
So now a literary agent is like,
Shawna Lander: oh my god.
Christa Innis: That’s really because you have the sales to prove it. So like, people
Shawna Lander: want
Christa Innis: this,
Shawna Lander: you know. When behind the scenes everything’s sort of in place because I will totally promo it for you. This is fun. Oh,
Christa Innis: thank you. Yes, I’m excited.
Shawna Lander: And then you should do the audio book and insist you redo the first one and do ’em both.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I think it’s because
Shawna Lander: like, I think, I think,
Christa Innis: I don’t know how to do like character voices. I like, even when I act, I just do like throw ’em in there. So I don’t know. I feel like for like an audio book or not an audio book, an audiobiography, it makes more sense or like a biography, but like, I don’t know.
Yeah, I did the author’s note. So the author’s note is in my voice and then I did like a little thing at the end where I talk about it. Yeah. But um,
Shawna Lander: I’m sure it’s good.
Christa Innis: I’m sure it’s good. Yeah.
Shawna Lander: There’s more talking about
Christa Innis: Yeah, lot of people like to, and, and they let me like listen to multiple people and I gotta pick.
Um, and so I was very involved in the process and so, um, but. Do you see
Shawna Lander: yourself more as the writer than the performer then?
Christa Innis: Yes.
Shawna Lander: Yeah,
Christa Innis: yeah, yeah. That’s where like I, oh,
Shawna Lander: okay.
Christa Innis: Yeah. So, yeah,
Shawna Lander: I take it all.
Christa Innis: I know I kind of worried that wrong, but they were, they were awesome to work with, and they were just like, you can do it.
She’s like, she was like, you just have to like find a studio. And I was like, I think I’d rather hear a voice actor, because I’m not a voice actor, but I’ve heard mixed, like, most people really like the person that did it. And then ours are like, I wish I heard your voice because I’m so used to hearing you in the skit.
But
Shawna Lander: yeah.
Christa Innis: But yeah, no, it was fun because I was able to like, um, kind of go where the skit went, but then I added so much extra dimension and background to the characters.
Shawna Lander: Oh, that’s
Christa Innis: so
Shawna Lander: fun.
Christa Innis: But yeah, and make it like way more unhinged because like, there’s certain things like I, and you probably can relate, but there’s certain things where you’re like, how do I, how do I show this as one person?
Like if this happens or this, or like, you know, so I’m like, okay, I’m gonna, I can do more like. A little more in the writing. I feel like sometimes.
Shawna Lander: Yeah,
Christa Innis: yeah.
Shawna Lander: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Thanks for asking me that. Like,
Shawna Lander: oh yeah, absolutely.
The Wedding Weekend Mess
Christa Innis: I was like, um, all right, let’s get into this week’s story submission. So these are stories that followers sent.
Um, I’ve not read it yet, so we’re gonna react together.
Shawna Lander: Okay. Exciting.
Christa Innis: There you go. Okay. My husband and I got engaged in November. We had intentionally gotten pregnant, partly because we’d only been dating for a short time and knew our families might not understand our decision to marry so quickly. Oh, okay.
So they’re saying bef,
Shawna Lander: oh, but read it again. So they got engaged.
Christa Innis: They got engaged in November. We intentionally got pregnant, partly because we’d only been dating a short time, and our families might not understand our decision to marry so quickly.
Shawna Lander: Okay. So like
Christa Innis: they, they kinda like backwards. They’re like, let’s get pregnant.
So the family accepts. We’re getting married?
Shawna Lander: Yes. Okay.
Christa Innis: Okay. Uh, we are still together now. 11 years later. Okay. That worked out.
Shawna Lander: Good job.
Christa Innis: Good job. We were very excited. After calling my parents, we called his dad and stepmom to tell them the news. We explained that we were planning to either get married at the courthouse or elope in Vegas that same month because he was in the Marine Corps.
Um, and we were about to be separated. His stepmom, no joke, cried, screamed and threw a full meltdown. She said his brother and sister-in-law had left them out of their wedding and that they would be deeply hurt if we did the same to them. So to keep the peace, we agreed to wait a month and get married in the state where they lived in December, around Christmas.
Oh my gosh. I always feel like whenever. Whenever someone’s like, and we agreed. That’s like in the famous last words, because then you’re like, you’re on their boat now.
Shawna Lander: Okay.
Christa Innis: Oh, okay. When we arrived, things immediately felt tense. His stepmom is extremely loud and woke us up early one morning talking loudly in the house.
When she saw me awake, she said, wow, you’re up. I replied calmly. Yeah, I heard you wake up in my family. That kind of comment is playfully teasing and meant to and meant affectionately. She immediately started screaming at me. I apologized and tried to explain, but she wouldn’t let up, and I ended up crying.
The wedding was the next day. That afternoon we were getting our nails done, so I pushed my feelings down and tried to move on the next day. I got ready quietly with no drama, but I was completely alone. None of my family was there, only his to make night. I don’t know. That’s why I’m like, why? Why? You know, that’s interesting.
To make matters worse, my husband had accidentally left my wedding dress back in California. Okay. He had flown. I know. I’m like, what street are you in? How, how can I get there? He had flown later than me and had a free checked back because he was in the Marines, so he had carefully packed my dress to
Shawna Lander: him.
Oh.
Christa Innis: Oh, no. Unfortunately it didn’t make it. Oh, no. I ended up buying a discounted dress from David’s Bridal which thankfully turned out beautifully. I got ready with his stepmom. See, I’d already be like, she doesn’t like me. I’m not getting ready with,
Shawna Lander: I know. Shout out David Bridal, by the way. That’s the
Christa Innis: clutch.
Yes. Coming in clutch. Really? But when I arrived at the venue, I was alone with only his family present. Again, where’s your family? It’s so sad. What I didn’t know until years later was that on the same day, his dad had told him it wasn’t too late to run and had desperately tried to convince him to leave.
Oh, he told me. He told him that I had tricked him into marriage by getting pregnant and lying about it, essentially forcing him into a shotgun wedding.
Shawna Lander: Oh no.
Christa Innis: It’s terrible. The truth is that getting married was entirely my husband’s idea. We had openly agreed that we wanted to try for a baby. The pregnancy was simply the explanation we used because we knew our families wouldn’t understand otherwise.
My husband told his dad that he wanted to marry me, and we went through with the wedding. Later, after our baby was born, we moved to the same state where his dad and stepmom lived. Why? Why
Shawna Lander: don’t do that? Well,
Christa Innis: the opposite direction.
Shawna Lander: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. At first they dot
Shawna Lander: the military. It was probably ’cause of the military.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Maybe it just like worked out with the,
Shawna Lander: yeah.
In-Laws Crossing Every Line
Christa Innis: Timing. At first they dotted on my, on the baby, my husband and me. But over time I started noticing that they equated money and gifts with love and expected to control all of us. Oh. Once I started standing up for myself, things changed. For example, when our daughter was four months old, they tried to feed her, feed her chocolate cake.
I told them no. Oh my gosh. Here, just eat this chocolate cake. Okay. They went behind my back and did it anyway.
Shawna Lander: Oh. I would be,
Christa Innis: Ugh. That is feeding a child something when the parents say no at any age, but especially that age where it can be very harmful.
Shawna Lander: Yeah. Oh my gosh.
Christa Innis: Wild.
Shawna Lander: Wild.
Christa Innis: They’re not realizing how dangerous it could be for the baby that young, like they’re not even eating.
They’re starting to eat maybe some solid foods at that point. Right, and like,
Shawna Lander: yeah, rice, rice cereal.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Shawna Lander: Terrible.
Christa Innis: They also shamed me for breastfeeding because it made them uncomfortable.
Shawna Lander: Yeah, that’s just dumb. You’re just, that’s just stupid. That’s just stupid.
Christa Innis: Like, come
Shawna Lander: on.
Christa Innis: I’m sorry. Why don’t you leave the room then if it makes you sound, oh
Shawna Lander: yeah.
That’s kind of like consider the source, you know, like, duh. You can’t even be offended at by them by that, because that’s just so stupid. That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Literally they assisted, insisted that for the formula was good enough after many more incidents where I refused to just bend to their, to their will, they escalated things.
They tried to convince my husband that I was cheating on him simply because I had male friends Who does that? Also they never think like forward, like what happens like after that? Like if they actually convince the husband. So you want him to be like divorced? Like
Shawna Lander: Yeah.
Christa Innis: What is that? Like divorce.
Shawna Lander: It’s not like she goes away.
Like they have to still manage the child together.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I’m like, they don’t think about how that’s gonna actually affect them and their relationship.
Shawna Lander: Yeah. It makes everything much more contentious. What? I can’t, I don’t even, I can’t fathom this
Christa Innis: wild, even though those men had been our mutual friends for years, they also accuse me of relapsing and using drugs again.
I’m about to celebrate 11 years clean next month, 2025. I got sober in 2014 so I could build a life with my husband. Good on you. Yay. These accusations were made in 2018, so she was four years sober already. And they’re, they’re saying she relapsed. Like what a wild thing to say and like so incredibly hurtful.
Shawna Lander: Yeah, so hurtful.
Christa Innis: They even told him they had driven by my workplace and that I wasn’t there. Why is that whole life mission to like, I
Shawna Lander: dunno, it’s so weird. They do not like her.
Christa Innis: No. That’s where you have to make those ties, like cut those ties. Like he has to be like, I’m choosing you and forget them because that’s just after, after one of those things alone, I feel like I’d be like, okay, I can’t.
Shawna Lander: Okay. Uh, go back to the be begin toward the beginning. They were at, they went to their house for the wedding weekend and she woke up early and was being loud.
Christa Innis: Yeah. So the mother-in-law or the stepmom.
Shawna Lander: Stepmom
Christa Innis: was extremely loud. Woke us up early one morning talking loud in the house. She saw me awake. She said, wow, you’re up.
And I replied calmly and smiling. Yep. I heard you wake up kind of just being like, oh yeah, I heard you. And the stepmom was
Shawna Lander: okay. So she was, that was like a sarcastic comment. She
Christa Innis: was like, yeah, I think that was her being like, oh, you’re talking back to me or You’re not respecting me or something.
Shawna Lander: Okay.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, so they even told him they driven by my workplace and that I wasn’t there despite the fact that I was absolutely there and my job required fingerprint login. So it was easy to prove
Shawna Lander: she’s got an alibi.
Christa Innis: Yes. Then things became truly disturbing. They tried convincing my husband to abduct our daughter.
Okay, this is wild. What They really don’t like her.
Shawna Lander: After they really don’t like her.
Christa Innis: I really hope after all this
Shawna Lander: you need to move away. This is like getting into Snapped territory. Yes. Kind of scary.
Christa Innis: Like how long do you keep someone like this around, like at the end, if they’re still in contact with them.
I’m, I, I don’t know. That’s,
Shawna Lander: yeah,
Christa Innis: that’s a lot.
Shawna Lander: Do we give advice on this podcast?
Christa Innis: Podcast? Yes, please. I feel like when people write in, they like, they know like there’s gonna be some kind of advice or a lot of times they tell me it’s therapeutic, typing it all out. ’cause they’re like,
Shawna Lander: oh, that’s good
Christa Innis: through my emotion.
Shawna Lander: Um, you’re fighting a service.
Christa Innis: Yes. Yes.
Shawna Lander: That’s phenomenal.
Christa Innis: Well, it could, it’s funny ’cause again, some of the, like the haters online, someone was like, all you do is spread drama, blah, blah blah. And then I was like, internalizing. I was like, am I like toxic? Like drama? And people were like, no. It’s like helpful ’cause I’m able to like, relate to people and like help me find out something that I went through or understand it.
’cause I don’t know.
Shawna Lander: I, I a hundred percent believe that we, it’s in the sharing of our stories, you know, that we learn.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Shawna Lander: That we grow. Yeah,
Christa Innis: exactly. And find like a community to like connect with. Yeah. Um, they said they would buy him a car in their name and rent an apartment under their name with cash so we could disappear.
Oh my gosh.
Shawna Lander: Wow. You would have
Christa Innis: to cut someone off like this. God, I hope they cut them out. All of this was simply,
Shawna Lander: are they talking about murder or ki or kidnapping the child?
Christa Innis: Uh, well, I mean at first it seemed like just kidnap, just, just kidnapping. Um, first it seemed like they wanted the husband to take the daughter and they would go, but then when it says so we could disappear.
Shawna Lander: Yeah. That’s the part that I’m like, what do you mean disappear?
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Shawna Lander: Like, we disappeared because that’s scary.
Christa Innis: That’s a weird sentence there. Yeah.
Shawna Lander: Scary enough
Christa Innis: that they’re
Shawna Lander: trying to
Christa Innis: take the child. His parents seems kind of scary.
Shawna Lander: Oh.
Christa Innis: All of this was simply because I refused to let them control me.
Eventually we fled with our daughter and moved back to California with the help of his mom, who he hadn’t spoken to in 10 years.
Shawna Lander: Whoa. Oh, so he’s in contact with the dad. The dad’s unhinged
Christa Innis: Uhhuh,
Shawna Lander: seemingly. Yeah. And so he got into contact with his mom, Uhhuh, and she’s like, yeah, babe. I know. Come on.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Come along please. I, I will protect you.
Shawna Lander: This is why.
Christa Innis: Yeah. That’s interesting.
Shawna Lander: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Um, so no mention of like, like her family around this time either, so I’m curious.
Shawna Lander: Yeah. Maybe she doesn’t really have much family.
Christa Innis: Yeah. That’s what I’m kind of wondering.
Shawna Lander: Or maybe the drug use was, has had her sort of isolated at the time.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Shawna Lander: That happens?
Christa Innis: Well, it says we told our families.
Shawna Lander: Mm-hmm.
Christa Innis: Yeah. We knew our families, blah, blah, blah. Yeah.
Shawna Lander: Interesting.
Christa Innis: Okay. But yeah, they’re just not mentioning
Shawna Lander: story. Maybe that’ll come back around. Okay.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, okay, so it says, um, we were offered his childhood home by her, his mom, when his dad and stepmom found out, they called his brother and told him to burn any paperwork that had my husband’s name or security number on it, because we were supposedly planning to steal his identity and ruin his credit.
Shawna Lander: Oh my God. What? This is so much worse than anything I’ve ever written. This is awful.
Christa Innis: These people literal to go outside and touch some grass and stop watching crime tv, like,
Shawna Lander: this is really, really bad. This, this, oh my god.
Christa Innis: Like what
Shawna Lander: I like, I feel like I would walk out of this movie like that. Like that’s implausible.
This is crazier than anything I’ve ever heard.
Christa Innis: No, this is like, I
Shawna Lander: can’t believe people live these lives. I’m so sorry. That’s terrible.
Christa Innis: I don’t know how you would like, I don’t know. I would be so paranoid, honestly, like people like this that are so unhinged, like you would hope they never found your new address in California.
Like, oh
Shawna Lander: my god.
Christa Innis: You know, I
Shawna Lander: hope she wasn’t, I hope we’re not like putting fear into her, but this poor woman who this
Christa Innis: at least, oh my
Shawna Lander: God,
Christa Innis: I think this was y years ago now, because she said they’re married 11. So I don’t know. I don’t know how af how soon after they got married that, that all this happened, but I’m hoping this was like that.
It was
Shawna Lander: four years of sobriety by the time she, they were accusing her of, of, yes. And she said. 11 years sober, 11 years married. So she must have gotten, um,
Christa Innis: she got clean, I think when they got married. Oh, yeah. She got sober in 2014 so they could rebuild a life together.
Shawna Lander: Okay, so it’s been 12 years-ish.
Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yep. Yeah. Wow. His brother and sister-in-law called us immediately because they spoke with us daily and knew better. All after that. My husband completely cut his dad and stepmom off. Thank God I get so worried at these because as my sister, like, oh, we’re still in contact or limited. I’m like, someone like that, you have to snip.
Shawna Lander: That’s, that’s crazy. That’s unhinged.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. We ultimately decided not to move into that house. Since then, we’ve had two more beautiful children, bought a wonderful home, and both of us are now in school studying to become teachers. We both are maintaining 4.0 GPAs. Woo hoo. Yeah. Oh yeah. It’s worth noting that my husband didn’t speak to his mom for 10 years because of lies his dad told about her.
I was wondering.
Shawna Lander: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Yeah. That sucks when that happens. It’s like if you have your own issues sure. But don’t bring your kids involved. ’cause like, uh, now he lost 10 years with his mom. That’s so sad.
Shawna Lander: Yeah. That’s really, really sad.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I’m glad they’re like reconnected. Mm-hmm. Um, it absolutely eat that
Shawna Lander: end of that though.
There’s nothing you can do about it. You know, you can’t, like he’s lying like, you know, just as a he said, she said and
Christa Innis: mm-hmm.
Shawna Lander: People who are willing to do that and lie about the other party are so much better at it
Christa Innis: mm-hmm.
Shawna Lander: Than, than the person who’s a victim of it. And so it’s just like a terrible manipulation of the child.
It’s so sad.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. Um. It absolutely eats at them now that she’s a bigger part of our lives, especially after his dad tried to tell him almost identical lies about me. Recently we had a vow renewal. His mom, my parents, and many of our friends and family attended at the church where I’m part of the leadership team.
So they got their new like
Shawna Lander: That’s good. Yeah. I take it back. I like this movie.
Christa Innis: Yes. It all has a happy ending. I’m, I’m so happy. Yay. His dad no longer has my husband’s phone number and has to go through me if he wants to pass along a message, I personally have forgiven them. Oh, that’s, that’s big. I don’t know.
I could, um, because I don’t like holding onto anger, but my husband hasn’t. Overall though all’s well, it ends well. We are happy, healthy, raising three wonderful children and living a life we love.
Shawna Lander: Yay. Good job. Them.
Christa Innis: I, I feel like they did a great job of tying it up with a bow at the end. ’cause sometimes we get these and it just ends and I’m like, that’s all they want.
And I like, we’ll reach out. Sometimes we be like, can you give us a follow up? Um, wow, that was a rollercoaster.
Shawna Lander: Yeah, that was a lot.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Shawna Lander: We’ve been through some drama. I’m glad they came out the other end of it, but Oof.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Shawna Lander: We need EMDR therapy after that.
Christa Innis: Seriously, I feel like this is a good reminder that if you really want to move forward in your marriage, if there’s some kind of toxicity like that constantly pulling out, you have to make a choice.
Shawna Lander: Yeah.
Christa Innis: If you wanna stick with your in-laws or you know, whoever that is, the toxic person. Then your marriage probably won’t work. I mean, not to be like, but you know, I just feel like so many times in these stories I see where it’s like the push and pull and or they’ll be fine and then all of a sudden they like do something and you’re like, do I forgive them?
But this is like all, this was unforgivable. Am I?
Shawna Lander: Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Like from the start. That’s incredible. Um, that is an example of a husband who does put you first.
Christa Innis: Yes.
Shawna Lander: Who does stand up to his family? Oh man.
Christa Innis: He put all the pieces together. He is like, wait, dad’s not, wait a minute. He, he said the same thing about Mom.
Shawna Lander: I’ve heard these lies before.
Christa Innis: Wait a minute. Yes. He’s going down that same, that same, uh, files of lies. Okay. Let’s pull this one out.
Shawna Lander: That’s incredible. People just send you stories like this.
Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. That’s what started the podcast is ’cause when I would post like a skit, people would like message me or DM me or comment and they’d be like, can I send you my whole story?
And I was like, sure. Then I use it for a skit and then I was like, I’ll create a Google form so you guys can send me, you know, a bunch.
Shawna Lander: Oh. And then I
had
Christa Innis: like hundreds upon hundreds of stories and I was like, I guess we’re making a podcast. Let’s share this story. Because I was like, I can’t act ’em all out, so let’s just do it.
Shawna Lander: Oh, that’s incredible.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Shawna Lander: People used to send me mother-in-law stories when I, whenever I would do barber skits before the, the big storyline began.
Christa Innis: Oh wow.
Shawna Lander: What you can do with something like that. It’s amazing.
Christa Innis: Right. And like we were talking about too, it’s like it gives people a safe pa place to share.
Um, ’cause some, a story I read the other day. Was saying like she wanted to like share it, but she was like, I have family and friends on social media and I don’t really, I don’t know how they’ll retaliate or something. I’m like, you can send it to me. I will anonymously share it. I’ll change details. You know?
Um, so that makes it like kind of a safe place to like connect but not i’ll or, or see people’s opinions without you putting yourself out there necessarily. Yeah,
Shawna Lander: absolutely.
Christa Innis: Oh,
Shawna Lander: I’m like, ugh, I feel like I need a drink after that. That was crazy. At least a cup of coffee. It’s like, that was a lot. Oh
Christa Innis: my gosh.
It was a lot. All right. I always like to end these with reading a couple of confessions. People also send me confessions on Instagram. Okay. So here we go. This is, did you, this week we asked did you invite someone you lowkey didn’t want to at the wedding? Okay, sorry. Bless you.
Shawna Lander: Do you need to reread it?
Christa Innis: I mean, sure.
Yeah. Okay. So this week we asked, did you invite someone you lowkey didn’t want to invite to the wedding? No names, just the tea. Okay, here we go. This person said, not even invited. Just invited. He was a groomsman. Oh. And I have so many, so much more drama that won’t even fit here. Um, uh, send it to me.
Shawna Lander: Yeah.
That should have been a dm. We need the whole story there.
Christa Innis: We
Shawna Lander: need
Christa Innis: more. Yeah. These little convers uh, confession spots are so small. My cousin’s ex-boyfriend, they fought then broke up the next day.
Shawna Lander: Oh no.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Um, let’s see. And al my alcoholic sister-in-law, she wore a hot pink dress, stopped hubs while he walked down the aisle to hug him.
Shawna Lander: Oh my God.
Christa Innis: No, that’s not,
Shawna Lander: did I?
Christa Innis: I’m like, no, please don’t.
Shawna Lander: No, no.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Um, let’s see. This says, oh gosh, this is a two part one. The significant other to a groomsman who was so upset. We didn’t invite her toddler. So then she did coke in the reception hall bathroom and nearly flashed my 93-year-old great aunt.
That is a mouthful. Whoa.
Shawna Lander: Oh my.
Christa Innis: All right. Well
Shawna Lander: I’m mad at you, so I’m going to do coke.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Great. Okay, last one. This is, people really had some good answers here. Um, friends, girlfriend didn’t like any of us have a pick of her and a bridesmaid glaring at each other. Okay.
Shawna Lander: Great.
Christa Innis: Lesson of the day. Just invite people that you wanted to write.
Shawna Lander: Ah, say no, say no to that person. Nevermind. Don’t, don’t, don’t come.
Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. No, thank you. Well, thank you so much for coming on, Shawna. I’m like, I feel so like, grateful that you came on. It was so great talking with you. And I feel like I said this before coming up. I feel like I know you through all seeing your skits and just, you’re just such a great person and, um, I love chatting with you.
Shawna Lander: Thank you. This was so much fun. I’m so glad and I’m so glad that it worked out because this has been like months in the making.
Christa Innis: Yes, I know. I’m so glad. Like I said, people have always, always like, get shot of the mom. Um,
Shawna Lander: I I’m so glad. I’m thrilled. This is so much fun. I’m glad to have been on.
Christa Innis: Awesome. Well thank you.
So can you just remind everyone where they can find all your skits and then anything fun you’re working on? I mean, I know we got the Shawna-verse, but.
Shawna Lander: Yeah, it’s Shawna, the mom. Um, Shawna is spelled SHA with WUNA, um, Shawna, the mom, and it’s on all the platforms. So TikTok, Instagram, I’m on YouTube, I’m on Facebook.
And what am I working on? Uh, I have a book coming out October 20th. And
Christa Innis: do you have a title for the book yet, or is that to be revealed? I’m
Shawna Lander: not allowed to say it yet. Yeah,
Christa Innis: to, I love it. I love the mystery.
Shawna Lander: And then, um, that’s, that’s kind of it for now. There’s more stuff Awesome. Coming.
Christa Innis: There’s, I’m sure there’s always tons of stuff you’re working on.
Plus you’re a mama too. You’re a wife. That’s, you. Don’t you love when people are like, which I was gonna ask you about this earlier, like the pressures of like, get it out faster. I need to know what I need to know. Like
Shawna Lander: how
Christa Innis: do you like, deal with that? Like I’m, you’re like, I do also have a, have a life too.
And
Shawna Lander: Yeah, I have, uh, just realized that I, I think I have to change up the way that I’m releasing the content, um, because. People are very eager for the next part to come out. Um, so I, yeah. On the back end here, I’m like, suddenly like, oh, hold on, I’ve gotta change. I, I need to make some adjustments because how do I, how do I make this happen faster or give myself more time in between something, something has to change because people yell at me a lot.
Christa Innis: Yes. And you gotta give yourself grace like
Shawna Lander: that. I understand. It’s very exciting, fun, but oh my god.
Christa Innis: Exciting. But like, you’re a human too. It’s like the constant reminder of like, we also deserve to like zen. Send out a little bit. Awesome. Well, thank you again. This was so fun hanging out with you.
Shawna Lander: It was so fun. Thank you.