Am I the Bridezilla? Drama at a Funeral and Reception Interrogations
“Am I still the most important woman in your life?”
In this week’s jaw-dropping submission, I dive into a bride’s story of boundary-crossing chaos that exploded during wedding week, from hospital drama and rehearsal dinner meltdowns to ceremony-day tantrums and reception sabotage. This MIL is all about being the “most important woman” in her son’s life, and trust me, it’s WILD.
I react in real time, call out the red flags, and give my unfiltered advice on how to protect your peace and set boundaries.
Plus, don’t forget to enter the anniversary giveaway! Subscribe to the HCTD podcast and YouTube channel, drop a comment saying “entered” on this episode, and you could win. Buckle up, this one’s a long ride.
Here are the winners from the last giveaway:
@charlynestyles
@itsjhonagurl
@partisgoingsomewhere
@alliyahdennisse
JOIN ME IN GREECE OCTOBER 2026!
My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!
Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments
- Anniversary Giveaway Celebration – I kick things off by celebrating one year of Here Comes The Drama and share how you can enter to win gift cards.
- “Am I Being a Bridezilla?” Dilemma – A bride reached out asking if she was being controlling as her bridesmaids pushed back on dresses, budgets, and bachelorette party expectations. I break it all down.
- Bachelorette Budget Blowups – Money tension flares when expectations weren’t clearly communicated. I weigh in on fairness, financial boundaries, and how to handle these sticky situations.
- Hair & Makeup Control Debate – I get real about when it’s reasonable to set appearance guidelines for your bridal party… and when it’s straight-up micromanaging.
- Mother-in-Law Wedding Horror Story – A jaw-dropping submission shows years of boundary violations that spiral into full-blown chaos during wedding week.
- The “Most Important Woman” Moment – At a funeral lunch, the MIL asks the groom if she’s still the most important woman in his life. I break down why this is a huge red flag and how to handle it.
- Wedding Day Meltdowns – From rehearsal dinner drama to groom suite invasions and family photo hijacking, I walk through the wedding-day disasters and what could’ve been done differently.
- Boundary Advice & Protecting Your Peace – I close the episode with actionable advice on standing up for your partner, setting limits with toxic relatives, and keeping your emotional well-being front and center.
Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode
- “When you agree to be a bridesmaid, you’re agreeing to the bride’s vision.”
- “Communication would’ve saved about 80% of this wedding stress.”
- “Your wedding gifts are gifts — not emotional leverage.”
- “You don’t get unlimited access to someone’s life just because you share DNA.”
- “If someone is competing with their child’s spouse, that’s not love, that’s control.”
- “Protecting your peace is more important than keeping toxic people comfortable.”
- “Your wedding is not the place for someone else’s emotional meltdown.”
- “Being family doesn’t excuse toxic behavior.”
*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.
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Blog Transcript:
Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Christa Innis: Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of, Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis. Thanks for being here. If it’s your first time, welcome, you are in for a drama filled episode as always,
But this week we have two long stories because we have our regular follower submission at the very end. But in the beginning we have a wedding dilemma and typically those are shorter segments where people just wanna get some quick advice for something that’s going on right now with their wedding planning or event planning.
But this one’s a little bit longer, but I decided it was a good podcast story to take on. you guys will see why, but I thought it was a good one to discuss on here. Before we dive into that, our new year giveaway has ended. So we did a new year giveaway, just to give back to you guys.
I’m excited for what’s to come this year with the podcast. so the names of our four winners have been announced on social media and then there’ll also be in our show notes below. So make sure you check down below. If you shared the podcast in any way to enter, you might be one of the winners.
Anniversary Giveaway Celebration
Now don’t worry if you missed the giveaway. If you didn’t enter or you didn’t win because we currently have our anniversary giveaway going on. that was kind of bad planning on my part, but maybe it’s good planning ’cause there’s extra winners now. So one winner will get a $150 Visa gift card, and two listeners will win a $25 Amazon gift card.
And to enter, just make sure you’re subscribed to the podcast, subscribe to my YouTube channel, and then comment, enter on this video, for the episode. So if you guys aren’t aware, all of our podcast episodes are also put on YouTube in full video. and if you just comment below, enter just needs to be in your, comment at some point so you can say, Hey, I love the color purple, my favorite food spaghetti.
That bride was crazy. And then just put entered at some point. winners will be announced on March 12th, and we will reach out to you directly, and kind of let you know the next steps to claim your prize. And of course, just to cover all my bases, I just wanna say the giveaway is not affiliated with or sponsored by YouTube, apple Podcast, Spotify, Amazon, or this is just purely outta the kindness of my heart.
No, but, just a way to give back to you guys. We’ve had an amazing year of episodes and I just can’t believe it’s already been the first year. I’m just blown away by your support and your excitement. and it just makes my day. So thank you guys so much for being here with me and listening to the episode.
Today I am drinking coffee out of my wicked mug. If you guys don’t know, if you don’t follow me on socials or see my stories on Instagram, I think I update stories a little bit more on Instagram, but you’ll see me post about my mugs. my husband got me this for Christmas this year. It’s so cute. If you’re watching the video, you can see it, but it’s like wicked.
It’s alpha on one side and Glenda on the other as I splash. Coffee in my eye. Yeah. Um, okay. Anyway, if I’m not waking up by drinking this coffee, it’ll surely wake me up by splashing it in my eye. Anyway, that was interesting.
Wedding Dilemma Begins: “Am I Being a Bridezilla?”
Okay, let’s get into the episode. Um, okay. We’re gonna start with the wedding dilemma and the title of it.
If this doesn’t pull you in, I don’t know what will is. Am I being a bridezilla? So I thought this was interesting. I have not read through the whole thing. I did a quick little glance and I was like, Ooh, this is a podcast one. Let’s get into it. Okay. So this is a long dilemma, like I said. So we’re gonna dive into some different parts of this.
I am gonna pause at certain parts because I feel like if I wait completely to the end to respond, I’m gonna forget many of my points and I’m gonna forget what happens. So let’s dive into this together. All right. She says. All right, so I need some advice on wedding planning.
I’m getting married in 2026. I have three bridesmaids, including my maid of honor. My maid of honor is my sister. Let’s call her Anna Bridesmaid. One is Sarah and bridesmaid two is Laura. During the bridesmaids dinner, when I asked the girls to be in my bridal party, they immediately asked about dresses and if I’d been looking yet.
I told them yes and showed them what my maid of honor would be wearing. I’ll attach the photos later. They said it was beautiful and would look great on Anna. Okay, so they liked the maid of honor dress. Then they asked what their dresses would look like, so I showed them an option for the bridesmaid dresses.
Sarah completely freaked out. She told me the dress wasn’t beautiful, that it was ugly, and that it would make her look like a nun. She said she would feel uncomfortable in it and wanted to keep looking, okay, I’m gonna pause there before knowing anything. I would never react in that way. If, the bride came to me and said, what’s your opinion?
Do you like this dress? I could be like, you know what? It’s not my favorite. That’s not my style. I don’t like blank about the dress, but if it was me that said, Hey, have you started looking? And she showed me a dress and was like, here, this is what I’m kind of thinking. I’m not gonna be like, oh, I hate it.
That’s disgusting. I would look like a nun. I’d feel blah, blah, blah. And you need to keep looking like. When you are agreeing to be a bridesmaid, you have to agree to their vision, right? Yes. We don’t want you to be uncomfortable. You should wear something that makes you feel comfortable. you don’t want like a super tight dress where you can’t walk in or you don’t want something that’s gonna show cleavage if you don’t feel comfortable in that, right?
it’s about what you are comfortable in. Yes. But ultimately you are agreeing to fit the vision for the wedding. So there’s a little bit of push and pull here. okay, so she says two days later I came up with two more dress options and showed them to the bridesmaids. So now that you’re giving them options, now you’re kind of agreeing to let them give their full opinion when you are a bride and you’re like, this is the option.
This is what we’re doing. They kind have less wiggle room. if you’re like, I haven’t really decided yet, so tell me what you like. Then you’re letting them give their opinions. Laura said she didn’t love any of the dresses, but she loved me enough to wear them for the day. She said it might not be her style, but it’s ultimately my wedding for the day.
That is the right response. That is the right response. ‘ cause let me tell you, I’ve been in tons of weddings. some I loved some, I absolutely adored and loved some. I was like, nah, I don’t think there were any at the time of wearing them that I completely hated. Looking back, I’m like, whoa, what were we doing?
But it was probably more the style. at the time of wearing them, I don’t think any of ’em I hated. but again, it’s what you kind of agreed to as being a bridesmaid. That being said, and I’ve talked about this before too, I’ve been in some weddings where the bride had no clue what she wanted.
She didn’t know the color or the style. So we all went blindly to a shop together and we kind of chose together. was it always peaceful or was it always unanimous? No, many times it was picking favorites or it was whoever’s voice was the loudest or it was voting. Right. Those are more tricky because you’re getting so many opinions.
And that’s my one piece of advice I would say to brides is before you talk to your bridesmaids, have an idea of what you want, the color, the general style, maybe a couple places, because when you don’t have an idea and you open it up to all these opinions, then it looks like you’re picking favorites.
Right. And then you have to be the. Mean person and say, no, no, no. so that’s my advice is before asking, say, these are the dresses, right? Like for me, and I’ve talked about this before, so I’m sorry if I’m repeating myself, but for me, I knew I liked Birdy Grey. Again, not sponsored, I’ve just worn them for so many weddings.
I liked Birdy Grey. I liked that you could order them online. I liked that it was all under a hundred dollars. So I said, I like all the mauve versions. I don’t care if you get light mauve, medium mauve, dark mauve, there’s even a patterned one. I was like, any of those are fine. Any style dress in the mauve family. So I knew this before even telling any of my bridesmaids.
Now again, if one of my bridesmaids came to me and said, ah, I hate the color mauve, I, I don’t know what I would’ve done. I guess it just depends on the situation. it looked great on everyone. And generally I think everyone liked their dress. So it gets tricky when you kind of open people up to that.
Right. Um, okay. Sarah, however, so this is bridesmaid one said the dress was absolutely hideous and that she would not wear it. She insisted we needed to keep looking. So now I have a problem with Sarah. Okay. I get, again, being, wanting to be comfortable in a dress, but to go off the deep end and say the dress is hideous.
We need to keep looking. It’s not your day girlfriend. Like the bride has an idea. She’s now shown you three different dresses. I think you just need to say, like, suck it up and say you’re gonna, do it for her wedding day because this is supposed to be like one of her best friends, right. After that dinner, Sarah called both Laura and my sister Anna, and tried to convince them that the dress I chose wasn’t a good option.
She wanted them to join her in pushing me to keep looking and convince me to change my mind. So she realizes the other two are easier to like get along with. So she’s like, okay, if I can convince them to tell her, then she’ll change the dress. Sorry that I keep touching my hair if anyone’s watching.
Someone commented once, like, can you not touch your hair? And I’m like, I wish. I don’t even realize I’m doing it sometimes. So sorry. anyway, so I sat the girls down and asked them what kind of dress they were hoping for. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Now you’re giving them full reins. Now you’re giving them full reins.
And maybe this is the type A, I don’t know if I was a Type A bride, I probably was, I don’t know, type A B, I think I was B. I think I was a type B in some ways. Now you’re opening up all the opinions. So like, doesn’t matter what you say, they’re gonna tell you what they want. I was asking what kind of dress they were hoping for because the options I chose were normal bridesmaid dresses.
Sarah told me she wanted a dress where she could show more cleavage. She wanted it short and tight, and if it was long, she wanted it very tight. Okay.
I have no issues with a tight dress. Obviously it’s up to the bride. Right. But you want it short and tight. Typically, a bridesmaid dress is gonna be floor length. I’ve worn a lot of jumpsuits in weddings, floor length. even as a guest at a wedding, I’m not wearing a super short dress. I think maybe a couple times I have shorter.
It just depends. Everyone has their own, whatever they’re comfortable in, right? But to specifically say the bride, I want a short and tight dress. I want my cleavage showing.
Do it outta your wedding. She says, I’ve tried explaining to her, my family is very conservative and I’m trying to choose something that fits the vibe and is appropriate for the wedding. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a short, tight dress. again, when you are a bridesmaid and you are agreeing to be a bridesmaid in someone else’s wedding, you are fitting their vision.
You are fitting what they want for the wedding, right? You don’t get to just pick a short and tight dress for the club because you wanna look hot up there. everyone deserves to look beautiful and great. But again, we have to kind of fit what we agreed. We agreed to be in someone else’s wedding.
It’s not your wedding.
Bridesmaid Behavior + Bachelorette Budget Chaos
All right, fast forward to planning the bachelorette party. we started sending prices in the group chat to make sure everyone could afford the trip and the activities we were discussing. Everyone agreed the prices were reasonable and we were planning to have our money in by the deposit date.
I’m guessing for like an Airbnb or something. But Sarah waited until two weeks before the deposit date was due to tell me she wouldn’t have her money until the week before the trip. She also expected me to cover her cost, even though I’m the bride. So this is a two part thing. So she waited to say she didn’t have the money, or she wouldn’t have it until a week before, but then she expected the bride to cover her cost.
So what does her not having the money have anything to do with it? If she thinks this whole time the bride’s gonna cover her cost, that’s where I’m kind of lost and confused. This is something that has to be established before all of this. You need to make it clear. ‘ cause like I said, pretty much all the bachelorette parties I’ve been a part of, we pay for the bride.
All the girls split it, so we don’t want the bride to have to pay for her own drinks or all this, but you gotta talk to your people, right? If it’s just the four of them, that can be pretty expensive, right? Whereas if you have 10 girls and you evenly split it, then they’re all not paying as much. Right. so I don’t know if there’s other people there as well.
She said when I told her normally everyone pays for their own way to the bachelorette party and the bridesmaids split the cost for the bride. She flipped out. Why is the bridesmaid just finding out about this? Because if she’s never been in a wedding before, I can’t really blame her for not knowing. And again, this is gonna differ for different friend groups.
For where you’re located country-wise, where in US or otherwise? it’s different. My friend group, like when we even go out for a birthday dinner, we’re not letting the birthday person pay birthday person birthday girl. We are splitting it. The three friends that came, we’re gonna split their meal.
That’s just how our friend group is. We do a bachelorette party trip. I’ve been on bachelorette party trips where there’s five girls. I’ve been on bachelorette parties where there’s 30 girls. get into that another time. 30 women I should say. And that was probably my first, no, that’s why my second bachelorette party and I planned the whole thing with two other people and that was probably the most stressful thing I ever planned.
But anyway, when you do that, when you have different amounts of people, it’s going to differ. But anyway, you need to let people know all of those. We always paid for the bride. We split it all. We did not want the bride paying for drinks, how to get there. any of that. My own bachelorette party, I think I was able to sneak in one round of drinks for my friends, but other than that, they took care of everything for me.
That again, you should never, as the bride, you should never assume that they’re going to pay for you, especially if you’re flying somewhere. Like you need to know your friend’s budgets. when I went on these more expensive bachelorette party trips, I was already like, mm, somewhere late twenties, somewhere.
Early thirties. Yeah. Late twenties, early thirties were the more expensive ones where I could afford a little bit more. Right. if I were in my early twenties, I don’t think I’d be able to afford these longer, longer trips. So you really have to know your audience. You have to know if they can afford it, and we can’t get mad at people when they say they can’t afford it.
She said she wouldn’t be able to afford it and that my wedding was costing her around a thousand dollars, which wasn’t fair. Full stop before I keep going and I know some people don’t like when I keep stopping, but there’s a lot to say about this. That’s a lot of money to a lot of people. A thousand dollars to put into a wedding is a lot.
And she is now communicating to you, I can’t afford this. So at it’s our job at that point as the bride to say, do we need to tone back the bachelorette party? Can I help cover some of her? I don’t think it’s completely like black and white. I don’t think it’s like, well, she’s a bridesmaid so she has to pay her way.
I’ve talked about this before. When I was a bridesmaid, I had a couple bridesmaids reach out to me, or it was a maid of honor. I had a couple bridesmaids reach out to me and say, I don’t think I can afford this. and it was a local one ’cause they had other bachelorette parties, they had other vacations planned and I said, what can you afford?
I’ll cover the rest. I said, maybe don’t come one of the nights. maybe, we’ll, let me see what discount I can get at the hotel. So I tried as the maid of honor to do other things. Okay, so she says, what I wanna point out is that I, the bride have already purchased a lot for them, including their wedding shoes, their jewelry, the pajamas we get ready in.
All the bachelorette party favors, all the decorations. Okay? This is where I’m gonna get, like think I am a against the bride in this, You purchasing bachelorette party decorations and favors is not their problem. That is a gift, Pajamas for them to get ready in is not their problem. That is also a gift.
I got gifts for my bridesmaids. I would never be like, I did this for you, so you owe me, you can spend more money at my bachelorette party because I did this for you. No, those were gifts. You don’t need matching pajamas. You don’t need bachelorette party favors and you don’t need decorations. Are they great?
Are they nice? Yes. Did I have ’em at mine? Yes. Did I have them at most of the perpetual art parties I went to? Yes, absolutely. But it’s not the bridesmaids problem if you spent more Right? That does not take away from the fact that she is still spending around a thousand dollars to be a a part of your wedding.
I absolutely don’t think you are the bridezilla, when it comes to the dress situation. So far what I’ve read, but this part, if she’s coming to you and saying, I can’t afford it, she have waited until two weeks before? Of course not. But it seems like there’s some communication issue between the two of you guys.
She didn’t realize that she was expected to cover her way, and also that you were expecting all the bridesmaids to chip in and pay for her. So this needs to be established. She said, I’m also basically planning my own bachelorette party because my maid of honor lives in Miami and won’t be there for the first night.
During all of this, Sarah and Laura also texted in the bachelorette group chat that they wanted to go skydiving, which would be $359 per person. Okay. I might have to take back some of what I said, but at the same time, they didn’t have enough money to pay for the trip deposit on time, so now wait. So they both didn’t have enough money, and they said they couldn’t even put aside $10 for one of my meals because the stress is becoming so overwhelming.
I eventually stopped bringing up the bachelorette party bridesmaids dresses and other wedding related details. Here’s the thing, if I was hearing from multiple people in my wedding party, they couldn’t afford the deposit or they couldn’t afford certain things, I would tone it back. I don’t know if they’re flying anywhere.
I don’t know if they’re renting a house, but it sounds like, okay, maid of honor can’t make it there the first night. Maybe we just take out the first night. Maybe we make it two nights instead of three or whatever they’re doing. Right. Maybe we take out something, let’s work together to see how we can make it work.
I am typically, the bride is not involved in planning, but it sounds like, I’m not hearing any of their names or any of their bridesmaids. So it sounds like it’s just the four of them. So I get why she’s very involved. but there’s again, a lot of communication. Um, it’s hard. It’s, it’s like we have to remember when people are going to our bachelorette, they’re also taking off vacation days.
They’re taking time away from their families. They’re spending money away, so they also are gonna wanna do things they enjoy. This is where I think. Bridesmaids plan away from the bride and then they surprise you. But we also need to, work together on the budget. Okay, guys, this is still going.
Hair & Makeup Debate
There’s, there’s a lot. There’s a lot going on. So I’m saying like this is the longest dilemma, but I feel like it was one that really needed to be discussed. Okay. Later hair and makeup came up. The bridesmaids asked if I was going to pay for them to get their hair and makeup done. I told them no. If they would like to hire the makeup artist, they are welcome to pay for it themselves, but I won’t be paying for everyone.
I told them I want the bridesmaids to have minimal makeup and curled hair while I, the bride will have more extravagant makeup and hair. When I explained this to Sarah, she told me she wanted to do her own hair however she wanted, and wear her makeup however she wanted. I understand. Wanting to feel comfortable and I’m.
Really not trying to be selfish, but at the same time, it’s my wedding. All right? I need a sip of coffee for this one.
I’m not gonna lie in reading this alone, I kept moving side to side of like whose side or whose team I was on. Okay? First and foremost, if you are not requiring hair and makeup to be done, you do not have to pay for it as the bride. this is my own personal take. You do not need to pay for it. If you are saying everyone needs their hair and makeup done, you should be paying for it.
I recommend brides, even if they’re not gonna be paying for everyone to get their hair and makeup done. Reach out to all your brides and bridesmaids and groomsmen, whoever would want hair and makeup, whatever parents. See who all wants it. Done. If you have a good chunk of people that want it done, you should hire a makeup artist and a hair person.
That’s not saying you’re paying for it, but that’s saying you have someone there on site. if you’re not requiring it and no one wants to pay for it, then they should be able to do it themselves how they want to. if you are telling them a certain way to do their hair and their makeup, you should be paying for it.
I don’t know. Is that a hot take? Because now you’re telling them that they have to either tone it down or tone it up from what they normally do. Maybe they don’t know how to curl their hair, so they need someone hired. So you’re telling them You want it a specific way. So I think in that case in point, you should probably pay for it.
Sarah is saying, I’m willing to do my hair and makeup, but I wanna do it how I’m comfortable doing it. I’m sorry, I’m with Sarah in this moment. If I’m a part of a wedding and I’m being told, Hey, you have to do your hair this way and your makeup this way, I’ll try my best. Sure. I’m not gonna be like rude about it, but, everyone has their own like talents and how they’re comfortable with doing hair and makeup, so I kind of go back and forth on this one.
I don’t think you’re being a bridezilla of course, but I don’t think we can control too much about how people do their hair and makeup. You can say like, oh, I don’t want bright red lipstick. Sure. but to say minimal makeup. Then you get extravagant. it’s kinda lost on me. ‘ cause I think you should want your bridesmaid to look just as beautiful.
Have them do full glam if they want, have them do their hair how they want. It’s not like she’s, I mean, maybe she is, but it’s not like she’s trying to like do space buns with like, glitter all over it. I mean, I’m sure, hopefully not, but unless that’s her vibe. so I get having some, hey, like, I really want everyone to do an updo.
Sure. I really want everyone to do loose curls. Okay, sure. But when you get too specific about what everyone should look like, that’s when I gets kind of lost on me. Okay. Next one. This is the last little issue. About a week later, the dress conversation came back up again. Sarah told me her budget for the dress and her daughter’s dress is $200 total.
I guess her daughter’s in the wedding or coming to the wedding. This is the first I’m hearing of the daughter. Her daughter’s dress is $35, meaning the remaining budget for her own dress would be around 165. The dress I found for her is $90. She told me it was too expensive, so I showed her another option for 65, but she said there was quote, no way in hell she would wear that dress to my wedding because it would make her uncomfortable.
So I’m guessing that was the first one. Sarah has been my best friend for seven years, but at this point I don’t know what to do. Wouldn’t a best friend be willing to wear a dress for six hours for my wedding, even if it’s not their favorite style Or am I being extra and selfish?
Also, am I being selfish about the hair and makeup expectations? Is that me being too controlling? it’s not that I’m worried she’s going to take the spotlight, but Sarah likes being the center of attention and the day isn’t about her. Do I sound selfish? Am I being a bridezilla?
All right. So obviously I’ve shared my points throughout this, but let me do the dress budget thing. this is gonna depend if Sarah’s daughter is in the wedding as the bride, I would be paying for the daughter’s dress. We paid for any of the kids that were in our wedding, we paid for them. if not, I mean, you can say your budget is a certain amount, but if like you wanna stick a little bit lower, that’s her own choice.
Right. Okay. So let me ask, answer your questions. Wouldn’t a best friend be willing to wear a dress for six hours for my wedding, even if it’s not their favorite style? Yes, absolutely. You are not being extra or selfish about that. I think you need to tell ’em straight up, this is the dress I chose, wear it or don’t.
I don’t know. I would wear it for my best friends. They could tell me to put on a brown paper bag and I would wear it, because it’s their day, right? So, I don’t know. I do not think you’re being extra selfish or bridezilla for that. Am I being selfish about the hair and makeup expectations? Is that me being too controlling?
I would say yes a little bit. I think you are being a little too controlling about that. Like I said, if you are hiring a makeup artist and paying for it, then you can control how the hair and makeup is done. If you are hiring a makeup artist and they are paying for it, or they are doing it themselves, you gotta just let them do it.
That is my own personal opinion. someone else may have a different one, but I think you’ve gotta let them do what they’re gonna do. You can again, give guidelines, but that’s it. she says, it’s not that I’m worried she’s gonna take the spotlight, but Sarah lives being the center of attention.
Here is my problem about that statement. You already see an issue here. Why are we worried our friend is going to take attention away from us? It says, I’m not worried, but she likes being the center of attention.
No matter how she gets her hair and makeup done, she will not be the center of attention. And that’s not gonna add to it. Someone trying to be the center of attention is gonna be louder or, move around a certain way. I don’t know. Right? Trying to take away from you. And if you’re worried about that, she’s probably already not a good friend to you.
‘ cause most friends are gonna wanna lift you up. Either supporting you, help you in any way, right? allowing her to do her hair and makeup, how she wants it to. Giving her full glam how she wants it to, that’s not going to take away from you. Everyone’s gonna know you’re the bride. So I would say pull back the reins a little bit on that.
Let them do what they want, but be more firm with the dresses. Say the next time the dresses come up, say, okay, you know what, gimme a week guys. I’m gonna finalize it and then I will let you know what dress we need to order, okay? and just be clear on that. Now, I think the wedding is coming up pretty soon, so if you haven’t already ordered the dresses, you’re probably gonna wanna order them soon.
I will message you that, because by the time this comes out, it might be a little bit closer to the date. I think it’s gonna come out a month from recording this. So I’m gonna let you know my points directly. I would be very clear, all right, I looked over all these dresses, this is what I decided.
Because right now you’re giving them too many options and you’re allowing them to give their opinions. So if you don’t want them to give their opinions, tell them this is the option. here’s the website you can choose from A, B, or C. By next week. Let me know what you picked. If by next week they haven’t picked the dress, or they haven’t ordered the dress, you say like, Hey, we need to order it by this date.
Do you still wanna be a part of this wedding? then let them know. And for anyone listening now, that is like in these beginning stages of planning their wedding, communication, communication, communication. In the very beginning when you ask to be a part of the wedding, tell them what the expectations are.
Say hi. Just letting you guys know. we are gonna have a bachelorette party. Typically, that means like bridesmaids cover it. Please let me know your budget. we can talk about it, at a later date, but I just wanna make sure like you guys know, this is the expectation. It’s really important to be clear.
especially when friends are from different groups, they might all do it differently, and I don’t think it should ever be an expectation without communicating that they’re gonna pay for you. For me personally, it was more important that a certain friend could make it to my bachelorette party or to my wedding than being able to afford something.
So if someone came to me and they were like, I can’t afford to get my dress, I’d be like, well, Can I pay for it? How can I help? And again, your gifts that you got, the bridesmaids as extra or the bachelorette party decorations or gift bags. Has nothing to do with their own personal budget.
That’s something extra that you wanted to give them as a gift. So that has to remain as a gift. That’s not a string attached. All right. I hope that helps. I know that was a lot, but I really hope that helps and I hope you guys have an amazing rest of your wedding experience and wedding planning. And, I’ll be sure to reach out my direct comments to you, she did send me pictures of the dresses, but for her own privacy, I’m not gonna share them on here because I don’t want her, bridesmaids to know.
but yeah, that’s my own personal take. I mean, looking at the dresses myself, I think they look, yeah, maybe they’re a little more conservative, but I don’t see anything wrong with them. I think they’re perfectly acceptable and beautiful dresses. and.
I take that back. No, they’re gorgeous dresses. I would absolutely wear these as a bridesmaid. the first one looks a little more conservative, but I think it’s still gorgeous. It’s very cute. It’s without showing the picture. It’s like an off the shoulder. sure it’s up a little higher, but it’s off the shoulder, which is sexy.
and it’s a perfectly good length. It’s like a little longer. The other one is off the shoulder and shows a little leg. So totally sexy. Totally a cute dress. I think I would wear it. So there’s that. Again, I’m not the end all be all when it comes to, Opinions and dresses. That’s just my own personal opinion.
All right, guys, that was just the wedding dilemma. We’ve still got a lot more drama to dive into. All right. Again, if you have a wedding 911 or a wedding dilemma you want me to, talk about on the podcast, which I do these on my solo episodes, you can email me at hello@christainnis.com. Use the subject line wedding 911.
Would You Rather: Wedding Edition
All right. Before we get to this week’s line reaction, we’re gonna do a little would you rather,
all right. Would you rather a relative live stream, your ceremony or post unapproved photos immediately? as long as it’s after the ceremony. I would say post unapproved photos. I don’t need to approve every photo livestream. The ceremony feels a little invasive to me because if you weren’t invited to be a part of the ceremony, I don’t want everybody seeing that, and I don’t know where that is or that is on Facebook.
Do people live stream weddings on Facebook? No. No, thank you. would you rather be guilt tripped into inviting someone or deal with the fallout for not inviting them? Deal with the fallout if they were not on my original list to invite, that’s because they weren’t close enough to me. Oh. I would will say a couple years later, I do have some regrets of people I did not invite, but no one ever guilt tripped me for inviting them or not.
I just thought about it later and I was like, I kinda wish I would’ve invited them. But what can you now, okay. Would you rather have an empty dance floor or dance floor chaos with injuries? Ooh, what kind of injuries are we talking about? I hate an empty dance floor. I despise an empty dance floor.
Why have a dance floor if no one is on it? The best weddings I’ve ever been to is when there’s a packed dance floor. Maybe some people fall. I don’t know. We got heels on, so that’s why you take ’em off. I’m gonna say injuries, praying and hoping they are minor injuries. Like maybe someone just falls in their butt and they have to like sit down and sit out for a little bit.
Empty dance floor. No thank you. I don’t wanna be to an event where there’s an empty dance floor. when my husband and I went to our first wedding together, I knew he was the one because no, this is just me being, funny. my family, when we were at weddings, we were all on the dance floor all night long.
You can see my mom, my parents are on the dance floor. my cousin, like we aunts and uncles, we are all on the dance floor. So, when I went to the first wedding with my husband and his family, they were the same way. I was like, yes, I have a fun. Fun in-law, like family to go into at that point we’d only been dating like six months, so I wasn’t thinking about weddings yet, but, you need a crowded dance floor.
Anyway, that was a long side story. Would you rather seat exes together or seat feuding relatives together?
This sounds like a familiar one I did before, but whatever. I think I’d rather seat exes together because I think in general, and this might be just my own perspective, i think relatives that are feuding goes a little bit deeper, right? That’s gonna hurt a little bit more. Someone knows how to get under their skin.
Exes. I think it goes one of two ways. They either know how to completely ignore each other at that point ’cause they’re just done. or they can just like banter and just be like, you’re an idiot. I don’t know. Or if you read enough romance, comedy, romantic comedy books, maybe they’ll just vibe that night and have like a little, little fling for the night.
Okay. Would you rather a guest bring someone you hate or not show up at all? Not show up at all. I don’t want someone I hate at my wedding. Would you rather have people RUP yes and not show or RUP no and show up?
Professionally speaking, I would say yes and not show up. But as a bride, if it’s someone I invited that I was like kind of bummed that they weren’t coming and then they just showed up, I’d be like, oh my God, you’re here. What a nice surprise. After the fact, after we eat dinner and stuff, would you rather cut decor or cut the open bar?
Cut decor. We need the open bar. Thank you. Would you rather go cheap on flowers or go cheap on food? Cheap on flowers. I used a friend’s, I don’t know, silk flowers and they looked great. I would not go cheap on food, but we did go cheap or on food. I did not do a full plated thing that was like $200 a plate.
We did a taco buffet, taco bar, and then we had late night snack of pizza. Yes, and I got married in my thirties.
The Mother-in-Law Red Flags
All right, here we go guys. Who is ready? Holy macaroni. This is a long, all right, let’s get comfortable guys. Pour a glass of wine, get a cup of coffee, whatever time of day it is. Whatever you drink, buckle your seat belts.
Let’s dive in. Let me start by saying that overall the wedding was absolutely beautiful, truly something out of a storybook. I had an incredible support system that worked hard to keep almost all the chaos away from my husband and me on the day itself. We started dating about five years ago, and the very first time I met his mother, just one month into our relationship, she talked extensively about her pregnancy and about me eventually carrying his kids.
Whoa. One month in I’d be like, okay, it’s a little, a little much. That would’ve scared me away. It was a strange thing to say to someone you’ve just met, but it didn’t stop from there. She continued to bring it up every chance she got when we decided to move in together, she invited herself to stay with us for a week.
How, how does that happen a week? Who is not talking to her? Your husband is not telling her, no mom, this is ridiculous. Get out. How does that happen? That week caused so much chaos between my husband and me. That was their first place living together and she ruined it. Your first week living together is like so exciting, but also scary ’cause you’re like, okay, am I gonna learn these weird habits?
Are we gonna like mesh well? And then you’re like, this is like a fun, well at least for me it was, it was like a fun sleepover. I’m like, oh my gosh, we never have to leave. Oh my gosh, this is so fun. imagine if their mom was there. That would kill the vibe. Okay. Why did he say no? I have so many questions.
I ended up breaking down crying in a target parking lot because of her antics. Later that same evening, she had him crawling inside a trash compactor and refused to let us back into the car until he did it. What? For the next three years, it was an exhausting and toxic cycle. She terrorized my husband, my family, and me.
Eventually we bought our home and decided to host Thanksgiving instead of splitting the holidays among four sets of divorced parents. Both of our parents are divorced, but only mine get along something his mother despises and frequently comments on because she can’t do it herself.
Oh my gosh. I still have so many questions about that first week of her just moving in and welcoming herself. Why did your husband not say anything? I’m just very like my space kind of thing. So like when I invite people, I want more the merrier. I love combining friends and groups. Like just all come one, come on and come all, but don’t show up unannounced.
And don’t expect you can like, make, stay and don’t extend that. Stay. Like if you ask me, I’m like, yeah, we’re, I’m more than willing to help. But like when I read stuff like that, I’m like, oh my gosh, it’s terrible. The first Thanksgiving was manageable despite a few fits. A year later, we decided to host again.
This time we were engaged. The FaceTime call to tell her about the engagement was memorable. So was the mom not at. Oh, she was saying she FaceTimed before this. Okay. She spent the entire call showing us the shoes she had picked out for the wedding, and repeatedly saying that she was the first to know he was going to propose.
In reality, I was with him when we picked out and bought the ring and he called my parents first to ask for their permission, then his dad and finally his mom to let her know he was planning to propose. He proposed in May and by Thanksgiving we already had the venue dress photographer and possibly catering booked.
You go girl. When Thanksgiving rolled around, she arrived in a foul mood, furious that my parents were already there and complaining that she wanted alone time with us. We had explicitly told her a month prior that Thanksgiving would be a family affair, and that if she wanted alone time, she should come by after the holiday.
Completely respectable. Completely normal. She has a huge fear of missing out and insisted on coming anyway, and then demanded alone time. Once she arrived to accommodate her, I took my parents to visit the wedding venue the next day so she could spend alone time with her son. Despite this, she spent the entire week throwing tantrums, so she stayed with them again a week for Thanksgiving.
What’s going on here? On Thanksgiving Day, she packed her bags and threatened to leave. The following day, she attacked my mother so badly that my parents ended up getting in their car and leaving shees. Once my parents were gone, we sat down and had a long conversation agreeing to a clean slate and a fresh start.
Ooh. Despite finally having alone time, she claimed to want to move her flight up an entire day and left early after that, unless we reached out. There was complete radio silence until her husband went to the hospital and had his leg amputated. Wow. Okay. We flew out as soon as we could, but by then he was in hospice and she was actively planning his funeral while sitting beside him.
Wait, I wanna pause for a second before I get into that. Why was she so mad about Thanksgiving? They said it was a family thing, but she wanted alone time, but she refused to come early or stay late, so then she wanted to leave early. I think I’m missing something here. Okay.
Back at the hospital. Now while we were there, so my husband could say goodbye to his stepfather, who played a huge role in his life. She brought friends into the room to question us about the wedding. What now is the time when her husband is dying? She brings friends to question you about your wedding.
We repeatedly told them this wasn’t the time or the place, but they wouldn’t stop. Who are these people she hired? Because I don’t believe this woman has friends that would do this. I mean, maybe, I don’t know, but that’s just so odd to me. He passed later that week and the funeral was scheduled for a month later at the service.
Countless people, many of whom my husband didn’t even know, came up to congratulate us and said they couldn’t wait to attend the wedding. What you do this like create a bulletin board or post it on Facebook and tell all her friends the date. This is wild.
She also invited his ex-girlfriend and her now husband to the funeral and spent most of her time with them. I thought she was gonna say she invited the ex-girlfriend to the wedding, but still, despite previously insisting they hadn’t spoken in years. That’s weird for the ex-girlfriend. Why are you showing up?
Like it’s good to pay your respects but also like maybe you can just like send a card to the mail, send flowers. I don’t know. We later found out they’d also been visiting the hospice, but only when we weren’t there at the lunch afterward. It was just us, his mother, his step sibling, and their spouse. his mother used that moment to ask my husband if she was still the most important woman in his life.
No. Why are we doing this? why are we doing this? Do you feel like there’s a competition between your son’s fiance, Lord have mercy. You are in two different brackets, not even in the same field. Why? Why? When he said no, that I was, she launched into attacking him. Don’t we want our kids to be happy?
This is just like mind blowing to me. When he told her it wasn’t the time or the place she turned on me. I told her the same thing. This wasn’t appropriate. We had already addressed things before and she was the one continuing the behavior. We got up and left. Good for you. That’s setting a boundary saying I’m not, I’m not gonna entertain this tantrum right now.
Wedding Week Meltdowns
Five months later, wedding week arrived. Oh my gosh. Or just already wedding week. I don’t know if I could invite someone like that, but again, I’ve never been in a position where I had a toxic parent or in-law like that, throws tantrums and asks their son if they’re the most important woman still in their life.
Her dress had already been a battle. She chose every color except the one we asked for. So she would match the family even after being told she stand out negatively. She ultimately chose a dress nearly identical to my bridesmaid.
See, and again, I don’t think there’s a problem. I don’t think most parents of the brighter groom would do that if you get along with them, if they have a similar color or style. I don’t think that’s a problem, but you can tell she probably did it. As a way to be like, look at me. I’m in the wedding party.
She and another family member spent the three days leading up to the wedding, calling and harassing my husband. why are they be invited still? I would have security out front. Have you seen this woman? She’s not allowed in here demanding alone time and more involvement. Why does she need to demand alone time?
If you need to demand alone time with anybody, you’re not, as important to them as you think. You don’t have to demand alone time. We had already offered them the rehearsal dinner at a sendoff brunch, but they complained they couldn’t afford it. We canceled the brunch and his father stepped in to plan and pay for the rehearsal.
At the rehearsal, they harassed my bridesmaid by repeatedly asking which groomsmen had been inside her.
What? This is so inappropriate.
This mom seems like a creep. I’m sorry. That is so weird to me. And we’re saying they, so it’s her and another family member. Who is this other family member? Is it a sister? Is it a uncle, a brother, a cousin. Like this is so weird and pestering her. Pestering the bridesmaid about who she should go home with.
It got so bad she moved tables, but they followed her and continued I’d be kicking ’em out during my father-in-law’s speech interruptions and shouting continued because they were upset. Certain people weren’t mentioned. That’s at the rehearsal Dinner. Lord have mercy. On the wedding day, she asked his family to arrive when the chapel opened and reserved front row seats.
So they’re there hours early putting their coats down. This is my seat. It’s reserved. His mother threw a fit when the usher offered to show her to her seat, shouting that she wasn’t being allowed to see her son. My mother stepped in, calmly to explain things, but his mother complained about sitting near her ex and demanded a different row.
Come on, if you can’t sit for 30 minutes during a ceremony, you shouldn’t be there. When my husband went to greet her before returning to get ready, she followed him into the groom suite and slammed the barn door so hard. She broke the shelves next to it. I was supposed to be escorted into that suite for lineup, but when the door opened, she was standing there.
I immediately turned around and went back to my room as I would too. This is insane. Holy cow. This is a grown toddler. This is what happens when people aren’t told no. When they’re kids, they become entitled, rude and mean adults that don’t understand boundaries. This is it. This is wild. The ceremony itself was beautiful.
During family photos, she repeatedly pulled my husband, wait, I wanna stop. The ceremony itself was beautiful. Okay. I’m glad she was able to like, hold her shit for a minute and not do anything wild. so we’re gonna pause on that. I’m really glad she, the bride in the groom were able to have a beautiful ceremony and enjoy themselves.
All right, back to the drama. During family photos, she repeatedly pulled my husband away from me, and the photographer had to stop her multiple times. She also followed the other family members demanding to be included in their photos and made an extremely inappropriate comment to one of them. where’s the line?
Because it’s been crossed so many times. It’s gotta be like, we’re at 20 times now. at what point do we kick someone out like this?this is literally just a energy sucker like this. She’s a vampire. She’s literally just taking all the positive vibes and energy outta the room. I feel so bad for couples that get married with someone like this because they’re quite literally taking all the joy outta the day.
Like, I’m glad they had their beautiful ceremony, but this woman is exhausting to just read about. I can’t even imagine having to witness her in person complaining about everything, making everything about herself. Nothing is good enough. she’s competing with the new wife. Like, come on.
Throughout the reception, she shot us dirty looks and interrogated guests about why they were invited when we were leaving, she approached me not to apologize, but to discuss gift logistics. Gift logistics. What does that mean? I told her it was a tomorrow problem and walked away. Early in our relationship, I had no backbone.
That changed after she attacked my mother. Since then, I had no issue standing up to her. I later learned she deliberately blocked doors during cleanup, refusing to help because she said she’d been told she wasn’t needed.
Post-Wedding Fallout and Boundary Advice
A few days later, I posted sneak peeks photos of my husband and me, my parents, my bridesmaids, and one with his dad.
The next morning, another family member sent my husband vicious messages saying we shouldn’t have invited them at all. We had debated revoking their imitations, but decided to give them one last chance.
So why is a family member sending the husband mean things, saying they shouldn’t have been invited?
Are we talking about the mom and her? Whatever family member is being awful. Okay. It’s been a month since the wedding and people are still telling me new stories about their behavior. Since those messages, we haven’t heard from them at all.
Okay. I don’t know who his other family member is. I’m guessing it’s the one that was like teaming up with the mom being rude to the bridesmaid. they were just saying, oh, we shouldn’t have been invited because she didn’t post pictures with them. That’s what I’m kind of getting from it. This was longer than I intended, but honestly it was cathartic.
There’s so much more that’s happened, but those were the major highlights, especially leading up to the wedding. Here’s hoping there’s a lot less contact by the time we try for kids. I would say no contact. I’m not a no contact person, obviously, like I can only speak from my own personal experience, I shouldn’t say I’m not a no contact person.
I believe if you and your gut are fully uncomfortable or people seem dangerous around you, or people are constantly putting you down and you don’t be around them, no contact, absolutely low or no contact. What I meant is like, I’m not always just telling people like, no contact, no contact. This story. If you are bringing kids into the mix, it’s only gonna get worse.
It’s gonna get 10 times worse because people like this feel like kids are not people. They feel like they also have more of a right to them because it’s their DNA, right? So it’s her son’s DNA in this child. So they feel like they have more of a right to them. I’ve heard so many horror stories about grandparents.
Again, I’m very lucky that my in-laws and my parents are not like this. so I’m gonna keep reiterating like I’m not speaking from personal experience. But before this, before what I do now, I worked for a mom and baby company and I managed a Facebook group of moms over 50,000 moms. And I would hear wild stories of how toxic in-laws or toxic parents would come in and say things to their grandkids.
They would try to show up at the hospital room. They would just be aggressive. So think all these things, but worse with kids. so I would definitely get on the same page with your husband. It sounds like he is now, but early on I’m like, why is he letting the mom stay with you guys for a week? What’s going on here?
and get on the same page about boundaries with kids. Okay? If we’re gonna have kids, are we gonna let people in the hospital room? Are we gonna let visitors come by the first couple weeks? Are we gonna let your mom watch the baby? I would say no. and you need to follow some accounts that are really good about showcasing this and showcasing boundaries.
But, hey, it’s Janelle Marie is a really good one. She talks about like toxic, in-laws when you have kids and like setting up those boundaries. But one thing that she said, I’m gonna butcher how she exactly said it, but she said something about, if you can’t respect me as a person, why should I allow my child near you?
Grandparents like that trying to get rights to the kids. And it’s like, well if you’re not gonna respect me, their mother or you talk badly about the mother, you have no access to this child. So hoping you guys are able to maybe even get therapy though, the two of you guys to kind of figure out what boundaries you need to set.
But I can say from personally, someone talking to me like this and acting this way on my wedding day would have very low, if not no contact with me. ‘ cause she just took all this joy. She cannot stand that you are more important to your husband than she is. And so she was seeing what she could do to take from that joy.
So the best thing to do. Show her how happy you guys are. Show that you pay no mind to her drama and keep that contact low, but your husband has to be on the same page because if you say no contact, and then he’s still sneaking off and seeing her. I don’t know if he was, I’m not trying to make stuff up, but that can cause an issue, right?
So you need to be on the same page, especially if you want to have kids together. Alright guys, that was a lot. If there’s updates, I’m gonna reach out to her and see if there’s any updates and we can kind of talk more about that. But you guys just, I cannot say this enough, get on the same page with your partner.
So many times I feel like it’s hard because when it is that person’s parent, they see them from a different viewpoint. but it also helps when their spouse or their partner is like, Hey, they acted this way towards me. They treated me this way because you now need to stand up for your partner. you chose to marry them, right?
So you need to. Stand up for that partner and set healthy boundaries. If someone keeps crossing the line, we don’t have to invite them to the wedding. she sounds very toxic, very hurtful. and just kind of gross. That’s gross behavior. That’s all I have to say about that. All right. Lemme know what you guys think in the comments.
All right, here we go. Now let’s get into some weekly confessions and then that’s all we got for you this week. this was a long episode you guys, I kinda lose track of when I started recording. Okay. Confessions, DIY confessions editions. What went wrong? What fell apart? What do you wish you hired out instead?
I remember the years of DIY weddings. I mean, I think they’re still kind of there, but I was a part of, and I helped with a lot of DIY weddings. Some were turned out great, some turned out actually absolutely beautiful. We were so exhausted by the actual wedding day. and you don’t always save a lot of money.
You think you’re gonna save a lot of money, but you don’t always. Alright. I did flowers for my brother. They were beautiful, but now I want to do more. Oh, that’s a good one. I love that. Hey, maybe you can start a side business. Maybe you should do that. If you enjoy doing flowers, so many brides would hire out for that.
the flowers that I borrowed from a friend, she, I think spent, I don’t know, we both were talking about like, she got married six months before me. Her quote was like four or $5,000 per flowers. My quote that I got was like three or four, and I was like, I just can’t. Uh, flowers are not that important to me.
So she made these silk flowers. She ordered silk flowers, and then she made the bouquets and they were gorgeous. I’ll try sharing a picture on social media at some point. never thought I would do fake flowers in a million years. in fact, when my mom brought up fake flowers, I rolled my eyes. I rolled my eyes, and now I’m eating my words because they turned out great and I saved $4,000.
So you should start a business. I let my sister be the dj. Our first dance had a short ad in the middle of the song. Yeah. I didn’t know.
ads played in the middle of the song. That’s when it’s worth, if you’re saving money on a dj, at least pay for ad free music.
Our DJ was the worst. He showed up an hour late and didn’t bring a microphone and played music like the Thriller. I don’t even like Michael Jackson. We should have just used a playlist. yeah. Was this actually a DJ or did you just find someone like on Craigslist? No offenses to Craigslist, DJs just saying, yeah, let’s make sure they’re in actual like business before hiring them.
I ended up looking like a zombie on my wedding day due to stress. This is what I was just talking about. I’ve done a couple of DIY weddings where it’s like all hands on deck. We’re up super early in the morning, super late at night. I was a bridesmaid for a couple of them. By the time the wedding comes, you are just exhausted and you wanna be in bed by 9:00 PM but it’s not possible.
So that was one thing, like when I got married, I was like, I don’t want my bridesmaid to feel like they’re working for me. I want them to be up there as like royalty, part of the squad, So that’s hard. You kind of have a, do your checks and balances of what’s most important for you.
Okay. last one made my own invitations. And looking back it looked hideous invitations. There’s such a span of invitations. I know people that spent thousands on invitations and I was like, that’s not my thing. You can literally go to Canva again, not sponsored. You can go to Canva and there’s like pre-designed ones and you can like change out names and stuff and just get them printed.
I think I did, uh, not Zola, Zola, Zola. You can order invitations through. I did that. They beautifully designed ones and you just kinda like type it in. And then I just moved stuff around. You can save money invitations and just do one of those. You can do Zazzle for invitations. I’ve done Zazzle for a lot of things.
yeah, you just have to like be really know your strengths and know your talents and then things that you’re not the best at either hire out, ask a friend for advice. There’s a lot of helpful things out there. It’s just a quick little Google search.
All right. That’s all we got for this week. Thank you guys for hanging out with me. I know this was a long episode, but you guys love the drama. I wanna know what your guys’ take is on the first episode or first story for sure. I mean, just gimme your take on everything, but especially that first one with Bridezilla.
I wanna help this bride. Is she being a bridezilla? What things would you tone back? What do you agree with? What do you disagree with? are her bridesmaids being a little too much? Are they being a little too picky? Sharing the comments below. if you are listening to the podcast on your phone, you can go to YouTube.
We always post the full episode. We do post highlights as well. Um, and don’t forget, we are doing our big anniversary giveaway as well. So all you need to do is comment on this episode or last week’s and comment entered. We’re gonna check all of them during the giveaway as long as you say entered. we will enter you into the giveaway.
Make sure you subscribe to YouTube. Subscribe to the podcast on Apple or Spotify, wherever you listen. And, you’ll be entered. Hi guys, thanks so much for listening, and I’ll see you next time. Bye now.
One-Year Anniversary Special: Audience Favorites, BIG Giveaway & a Toxic Engagement Story
Older. Employed. Owned a car. Buying a house. Apparently, those were the “red flags.”
This week marks one year of Here Comes The Drama (yay!), and I’m sharing a deeply personal, most bizarre wedding story where an engagement triggered years of emotional manipulation, financial pressure, and escalating abuse. From blessing requests gone wrong to explosive ultimatums, we unpack how toxic family dynamics can surface during major life milestones. This story is heavy, but important.
Plus, we’re celebrating one year of Here Comes The Drama! 🎉 Subscribe to my podcast and YouTube channel, and comment “Entered” on this episode’s YouTube video for a chance to win one $150 Visa gift card or one of two $25 Amazon gift cards. Winners will be announced on March 12.
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My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!
Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments
- The Podcast Turns One – We’re celebrating one full year of Here Comes The Drama with a special giveaway: a $150 Visa gift card or one of two $25 Amazon gift cards.
- Would You Rather: Wedding Edition – I’m answering your toughest “would you rather” wedding dilemmas, from feuding relatives to money with strings attached, during our one year special episode.
- The “Blessing” That Became an Interrogation – What should’ve been a respectful conversation spirals into grilling, accusations, and power plays.
- Control Disguised as Concern – Parents frame normal age gaps, financial stability, and independence as red flags to maintain control.
- Financial Manipulation & Wedding Ultimatums – From demanding a master’s degree to refusing wedding support, money becomes leverage.
- The Attic Incident – Screaming, verbal abuse, and a father apologizing to the boyfriend instead of his daughter push everything over the edge.
- Choosing Safety & Ending the Cycle – Moving out, going no contact, and protecting future children becomes the ultimate act of healing.
Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode
- Control doesn’t always show up as anger, sometimes it shows up as “concern.”
- When your independence threatens someone, the behavior will escalate.
- Green flags can look like red flags to people who benefit from your dependence.
- Money with strings attached is never a gift. Protecting your peace sometimes means choosing distance, even when it’s painful.
- Ending the cycle is an act of love for the next generation.
*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.
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A Team Dklutr Production
Blog Transcript:
Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Christa Innis: Hey everybody. Welcome back to another episode of, here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis, and I’m extra excited for you guys to be here today because it’s our one year anniversary. I can’t believe I’m saying that out loud because I still remember the. Coming up with this idea, feeling like it was so out of my reach.
And here it is. I just am so grateful to all of you guys for listening to sending in stories, to just sharing your support. It just means so much to me. So before I get too mushy and share too much about the podcast, I wanna read, this week’s review. It’s from Lady Tony. It says, when I was pregnant with my daughter in 2024, I got hooked with the skits on Insta.
Then I came across this podcast, craving for Drama. Satisfied. I love that because we all secretly, or maybe not so secretly, love the drama. Especially when it’s not our own. that’s the reason why, you know, I came up with this podcast. You guys wanted more stories, you wanted to hear more stories, talk more, hear more drama.
and you guys were sending me so many, and this is a fun way to share more of myself, to meet other people. It’s been a lot of fun. so before we jump into the full part of the episode, like I said, I wanna just celebrate something big here and that is, the podcast is a year old today. We also hit 250,000 downloads, which was well beyond my expectations.
I think I’ve said this before, but I thought we were gonna hit like 25,000 in the first year. That was my initial goal. so I’m just blown away by the support, the love, all the stories you guys share with me, people willing to come on the podcast. I’ve met so many amazing people that have been, just.
Eager to come on the podcast and just be real and have conversation. and it’s been really great for me to just expand because as I’ve said before, you know, I work from home. My husband works from home, and I, you know, it’s great to just meet people, but with having a toddler, we don’t. Always get out as much as we want to.
and so this is a great way to meet people from all over the world, all over the country. And, that’s just been such a blessing, such a gift to be able to do that.
The One Year Anniversary Giveaway
So, to say thank you to you guys after my blabbing here, I wanna tell you guys that I am doing a one year giveaway. not to be confused with the giveaway I’m doing for the new year.
It’s a little different, so pay attention to, to these specific details. but first I wanna share some fun stats about this podcast. So in the year, we have done 52 episodes. We had 34 unique guests. Many were on multiple times. I think maybe like five to 10 were on multiple times. I know my best friend, Yvette has been on like three or four at this point.
and some of the people I’ve interviewed, their episodes have not come out yet. And then I have some in my roster that are scheduled and have not been interviewed yet. So lots more exciting episodes coming out. This podcast has reached 50 different countries, including obviously the United States, well, Canada, United Kingdom, Australia, Germany, New Zealand.
Ireland, Sweden, Philippines, Netherlands, Denmark, Norway, India, Mexico, France, South Africa, and many, many more. so that’s very exciting. And yes, I know the UK includes many different countries. just kind of looking at my stats here quickly. so it’s just. Mind blowing to me still, just to know how many of you guys listen to it every single week.
And it makes me that much more excited to, also putting a lot more pressure on myself, but more excited to get the content out to you. So back to this giveaway, one listener will win a $150 Visa gift card, and two listeners are going to win a $25 Amazon gift card. So to enter, make sure you subscribe to the podcast.
subscribe to my YouTube channel and comment. Entered. The reason we are doing YouTube is because that’s an actual trackable way. I can’t see if you’re subscribed and I don’t have a list of subscribers, on my podcast. So unfortunately I can’t do it that way. So subscribe to my YouTube channel and then for this video, just come underneath it.
Just say Entered. You can say like, Hey, I love your channel. Hey, this is my favorite video. Hey, I’m getting married this year. Hey, I love the color purple. And then put entered if you want, just for a little extra detail, whatever that is. just comment on this video. We upload all of my podcast episodes on YouTube full, and then we do little clips as well.
So we’ll make it very clear which video we’ll put on the cover, so you know which one to put on there. So again, $150 Visa gift card for the grand prize winner. and then two $25 Amazon gift card winners. So, super easy to enter. Subscribe to my YouTube channel, and comment entered on the video.
And just to say, just to cover all my bases, this giveaway’s not affiliated with or sponsored by YouTube, apple Podcast, Spotify, Amazon, or Visa. It’s just. My personal way of giving back to you guys and saying thank you. All right. That was enough blabbing for today. But you know what, who am I? What am I saying?
Would You Rather — Weddings, Boundaries, and Hard Calls
We’re getting into more blabbing now. So let’s get into today’s episode. you would think I’d be a little more well rested for this episode. I’m currently drinking this Gorge Energy drink, not sponsored at all. my husband put this in my stocking this year. Isn’t it cute? If you’re looking at the video,
More caffeine than I’m used to. I did not get great sleep last night. It’s been a doozy. and yeah, we stayed up too late watching Stranger Things. I’ll get into that later. Okay. Let’s get into, would you rather, and then I have a long story so I don’t wanna take up too much time before that, would you rather seat feuding relatives together or leave one uninvited and deal with it forever?
Ooh, that’s hard. Seat feuding relatives together or leave one uninvited. That’s gonna depend on my own personal relationship with them. Right. I hate causing drama or like causing something to happen. But if I’m thinking of like a situation where two people just can’t get along and, let’s say it’s someone that’s like closer to me, I would probably rather just not have someone invited if I knew they were gonna cause more drama at the wedding,
seeing people together that I know aren’t gonna get along is just, it’s just asking for it at that point. So I think I’d rather just not invite one of the party. Okay. Two, would you rather your dad be late walking you down the aisle or your stepparent insist on being included last minute? I think I’d rather have my dad be late walking me down the aisle.
Hopefully not too late. cause that’s a problem. But again, all these things are very nuanced because if you’re close with your stepparent, I would hope you kind of include them in some way. It doesn’t have to be like them walking you down the aisle, but maybe you give them flowers and take photos with them ahead of time.
Maybe you do like a special moment with them. but again, it’s gonna depend on how close you are. If your stepparent is insisting, then my thought is maybe you’re not that close, so that’s why I’m gonna go with the late dad. Okay. Would you rather cover costs for a broke bridesmaid or ask for a step down?
Absolutely cover the cost. If this person means enough to me where I ask them to be in the wedding, I would absolutely be like, don’t worry about it. I will cover it for you. I’ve been in, not my own wedding, but I’ve been in other weddings where, a friend of mine reached out to me as like the maid of honor and was like.
You know what? I’m in three other weddings this year. I don’t think I can afford the bachelorette party. And I said, if you really wanna go, I will cover it for you. Like don’t worry about it. Please. Like, I wanna make sure you’re there for blank, actually come to think of it, I did have a couple bridesmaids, I wouldn’t say broke bridesmaids at all.
I’m not calling them that, but other ones that had other obligations like maybe other vacations planned or, they were having a baby other things going on where I just told them like, let me know where I can step in. I would never ask them to step down if they couldn’t afford something because the reason I’m asking someone to be in my wedding is ’cause they mean a lot to me.
so I don’t know. I just don’t like that of like, oh, you can’t afford this, or You don’t wanna spend this. You can’t stand up in my wedding. Nah. Would you rather your maid of honor, ghost planning, or take over everything? that’s a tough one. I had the most amazing maid of honor, Yvette, who’s been on my podcast many times.
She would never either. God, I’m so bad because it’s like I can’t just pick one. Okay, I’m gonna pick one. I’m gonna say take over everything. I would rather, because think about this. If your maid of honor is ghosting you, they don’t care. They don’t wanna be there, they don’t wanna be a part of your wedding.
Who knows what’s gonna happen to your relationship after your wedding day. so there’s a lot of things, a lot of issues going on there. So if I can have them just take over the wedding. Hopefully they’re good at it. I don’t know. Okay. would you rather someone bring an uninvited plus one or bring their kids to a child free wedding?
Ooh, gosh. These are tough ones.
I think I would rather have someone bring an uninvited plus one. Because a very, a specified child-free wedding is not gonna be set up for more kids. Plus I think that’s gonna cause more drama. ’cause imagine if there was someone else that was like, oh, I can’t bring my kids. Okay, I’ll leave them at home.
Or I’ll call a babysitter or whatever. And then they come and this other person came with their kids. So I think that’s gonna cause more drama, an uninvited plus one.
Course, depending on the person, but, I think that’s fine. ultimately it’s not fine, but I think that’s better. maybe they just needed a ride or, I don’t know. They don’t wanna come alone either or not ideal. Would you rather have a guest leave early and post about it or stay and complain the entire night?
Well, if they’re posting about it, are they posting like. Why they left earlier, why the wedding stopped? ’cause that’s what I’m thinking. Leave and post about it because if it’s my wedding day, I am not paying attention to what people are posting. I’m not gonna see until the next day. So sorry. If they took the time out to post about why they left my wedding early, then it had more of an impact on them than they would like to think.
Okay. Would you rather go over budget or cut your guest list in half? That’s hard because to me, people were the most important thing to me when planning everything out. it was really hard. There were a few people that were like on the, I don’t know, like I haven’t talked to ’em in a couple years, but when we were friends or when we did work together, we were really close.
So there was a lot of people like that. Cutting in half would be really hard though.
Now, I think I would say I would rather. Cut my guess list in half. Then I think I’d rather go a little over budget. It just depends on how much. Right. okay, last one. Would you rather accept money with strings attached or pay for everything yourself? Pay for everything myself, I’ve talked about this before.
We had help on both sides and then we paid for a good chunk ourselves. but we never had any meddling parents. both of our parents, or say all four of our parents were so helpful. They never overstepped. They, they’re talented in their own ways. And so I just found different ways to include each of them, especially our moms.
Um. Never did they once say, I’m taking this from you, I’m doing this, or go behind my back and change something. They were both so supportive, um, and they would never hold money or gifts over our head. Um, so yeah, I, I always really sympathize with people that have to kind of like balance it all out because.
In general, even though it is a gift, you do feel like, okay, they gave this to me, so I want to give that same respect back. I’ve never been in a, like in a bad relationship where it’s like a mother-in-law or a mom like holding money over the head, being like, okay, if I give you this money though, I get to invite my 50 friends from church, or I get to, um.
Change up the flowers or I get to, you know, whatever. I’ve never personally had to deal with that, so I’m, I’m sure it’s very difficult when you’re in that position.
When an Engagement Triggers Control, Not Celebration
All right, let’s get into it. This week’s line reaction, wedding story submission. All right. Huge fan of your videos for years. I actually started watching them while I was engaged, and the Ferris and Sloan saga genuinely got me through the worst of it.
Oh my gosh. Okay. I, I’m trying to think of how to say this. I love hearing that. But I also hate hearing that, if you know what I mean. Like, I hate hearing that people relate to the character so much because when I came up with it, it was just like so dramatic, so out of line, so wild. Like something I could never picture in my personal life.
Um, but I’ve had so many people say, thank you for creating this, because it allowed me to feel like heard and seen and like I wasn’t alone. Um, so. I’m glad for that part, but I’m really sorry that you had to go through this. Okay. My wedding story really began when my then boyfriend of a year and a half, and I decided we were ready to be engaged.
My parents and brothers had met him several times. I’d met his family and everything always seemed fine. My parents acted like they liked him. My mother even told extended family. We would definitely get married. When we’d only been dating for six months. Okay, wait.
So they said we’d definitely would get married when we’d only been dating for six months, which is an entirely different story. No one ever openly had a problem with him. He’s quiet and shy, and I always felt my family was intimidated by the fact that they couldn’t read or manipulate him. He didn’t give them anything to work with.
I, on the other hand, am a total blabber mouth and they often use that to make digs at me or gather information to use against me later. Oh gosh. Okay. By winter of 2021, we’d been talking seriously about engagement. We were also meeting with our priest for spiritual counseling. When we told him we were considering getting engaged, he was excited, but he also told us we need to book the date immediately.
If we wanted him to marry us within the next calendar year, there were only three slots left. Otherwise we’d have to wait an additional year, which we didn’t want, so we booked a date right then. Even though we weren’t formally engaged yet. Ooh, I like it. But I can see where the drama might come in.
There’s a lot of people that want to have a say over the date, which I don’t understand. I mean, I get like, so me personally, I get like checking in with family. Like we would, we always hold our family, like we wanna spring wedding. Um, and our venue, it was cheaper if you got married in March and on a Friday night.
So we were like, or not Friday night, but Friday. Um. So we kind of like threw that out there to like our parents at least. But everyone else we were like, if you can be there, be there. If you can’t, you can’t. Um, my boyfriend wanted to do the right thing and ask my parents for their blessing. I warned him that they were very controlling and wouldn’t be happy that they would be, that they would use the opportunity to bully him.
So you’re telling me she never saw any issues? With the family and him, or they never said anything about him, but right off the bat she’s like, they’re gonna bully you. They wanna control you, what? While he agreed it was ultimately my choice, he said he was raised to respect parents and still wanted to ask.
I reluctantly agreed and told him. I would let them know that he wanted to speak with them. Side note, I was living with my parents at the time. One morning I told my dad that my boyfriend wanted to ask him something important over Thanksgiving weekend. At first, my dad seemed excited and supportive. Then he said he needed to tell my mother.
I went to class and didn’t think much of it. When I got home, they were waiting for me and told me we needed to have a serious talk. Wait, but he didn’t even say anything yet. They must have like had like a clip. They sat me down and began grilling me with the most bizarre concerns about my boyfriend.
Okay, so this is like a bullet point list One, he was four years older than me. We were 22 and 26. Completely normal. Yeah. I think that’s a completely normal age gap. His job paid more than mine. Why is that a problem? And also what is this obsession? What people’s jobs pay If you are not paying the bills, why does it matter and how do they know what he makes?
Anyway? Three, he had a car and I didn’t, they had actively prevented me from getting a license up to that point. Okay, so they just don’t like that this guy is going to kind of be like your new family. It sounds like they were controlling you into not getting a license. Not, I mean, not getting a car.
That’s really odd to me. Number four, he was in the process of buying a house and they demanded that my name be on the title before marriage. Okay. As someone that has a daughter, if this was her partner, I feel like these are all great qualities, like he has a good paying job. He has a car, he’s in the process of buying a house.
These are all great things. You would be like, wow, he’s got his shit together. He loves you. He wants to take this to the next level. Like next step. Like why are they so like, Nope, you need to do this, this, and this. Why are these red flags to me? These are green flags. Um. Also like putting his her name on the house before marriage.
I mean, I don’t know, like legality stuff of that. I mean, I get like putting your, I mean, it’s not like she’s even talking about moving in yet, but I don’t know. Whatever. Okay. Last one. They even implied that he might be abusing me, which was completely untrue. Why would you say something like that, if anything?
He protected me from their ongoing abuse. Someone like that. And I’m not gonna make you know accusations because I’m only reading a story. I don’t know anyone in this story personally, someone that’s so used to controlling you and making choices for you. When they see another influence come in that’s allowing you to be a little more independent or kind of go away from their grasp, they’re gonna try to do all those things.
They’re gonna try to like point the finger at him and say, oh, he’s bad. He’s trying to hurt you. He’s trying to do all these things because they. They realize that when you get more independent and start thinking for yourself, you’re gonna realize that they’re the problem. On Thanksgiving day, my boyfriend still showed up, polite, respectful, and hopeful.
After dinner, he asked my father if they could talk. My father refused and said, now is not a good time. I don’t think it’s appropriate for you to ask me on Thanksgiving and make the holiday all about Jessica. Do they hate their daughter like this is, this is absurd. Like I don’t, I don’t think I ever use that word.
This is just like, yeah, I mean, in my mind, 22 is young, but that’s not for them to decide. She’s an adult. I think I was still living at home at 22, but I moved in with my boyfriend now husband at. 24. 24. I think we were dating at 23. You can’t, I mean, at that point you can’t. They just wanted her to stay like under wraps, under their control Q, the most awkward dinner imaginable.
My brothers kept making weird jokes about how women only get married because they’re gold diggers and kept putting, pushing, and kept pushing political arguments. No one wanted. Why do they hate her so much? So this was their problem with him making more money because it’s gonna look like she’s a gold digger.
I, I don’t know. This is wild. The next day was my cousin’s wedding. The whole family was acting strangely, but my boyfriend and I tried to enjoy ourselves. At the reception. I casually mentioned to my dad that I like the napkin color and would want something similar to that for my own wedding. He gave me a disturbed look and walked away without saying a word, dude, what is their problem?
‘Go Wait in the Attic’ — The Moment Everything Broke
The day after that, my boyfriend went back to my parents’ house for the conversation they had decided to have. The moment he walked in, it felt like a war room. They told him to sit down, then turned to me and told me to go wait in the attic. I wish I was kidding. Go wait. In the attic, where do you live? Is that, is that your room or do we need to call someone?
Hopefully you don’t still live there. This is like giving housemaid. Why are you in an attic and why do they want you to go there? This is scary. My boyfriend tried to insist that the conversation involved both of us, but my father demanded that I leave. I wouldn’t wanna stay with the dad. I’d be like, um, no.
She’s gonna stay with me, otherwise we’re both gonna leave for 40 minutes. They grilled him about his intentions and demanded. One that he agreed to financially support me getting a master’s degree, which I never wanted. Okay, wait. So first she’s a gold digger, but for marrying someone that’s making more money and now they’re telling him he has to financially support her in getting a master’s degree, but she never even said she wanted that.
Number two is that he put my name on the house title before marriage, even though the house was still under construction and no title even existed. This is, this is insane to me. Completely insane. I, I don’t even know, like, what do you do at that point? Like eventually I was allowed back in the room, my boyfriend again explained that a title didn’t exist yet, but they refused to accept it.
Then they turned to me yelling about how I thought I was going to pay for a wedding. They announced they didn’t believe in weddings. They don’t believe in weddings. Aren’t they married? And it’s not for them to decide. They wouldn’t, they said they wouldn’t pay a cent because weddings were a waste of money.
Okay? Just ’cause their marriage sucks, doesn’t mean they can put it on you, despite having had their own 50 K wedding in the nineties. So they have $50,000 wedding in the nineties, which today. Let’s look this up guys. A $50,000 wedding in the nineties is what in today’s world,
guys. $50,000 wedding in the nineties is equivalent to a 100,000 to $150,000 wedding today. And they’re trying to say, that is so freaking wild. Okay, here’s my philosophy, or here’s my theory. They’re either not doing well financially and. Maybe marriage wasn’t what they thought it would be because they’re unhappy people.
And so they’re thinking if their wedding was $50,000, they see how money has changed. They’re thinking they’re gonna have to cash, they’re thinking they’re gonna have to lend all this money to them, and they’re realizing they’re not happy in their own marriage and it was a scam. Um, so. They’re trying to be like, okay, well, she needs to get something out of this, so he needs to pay for her master’s degree.
I don’t know. That’s the only thing I can think of. I told them I didn’t need their money. They kept pushing. So my boyfriend finally said he had savings for a small wedding. My father scuffed looked him up and down and said, well, I guess we have a saver. They are jealous. They are so jealous of this boyfriend because he is doing well financially.
He has his shit together and he’s happy. He’s happy with their daughter and they’re not happy. There may, maybe they didn’t save money. They spent all their money on their wedding, and so now they’re living with the repercussions of their actions. Repercussions. Repercussions. Oh my gosh, these people. Then my mother launched into a how wait.
Then my mother launched into how I couldn’t get married the next year because I was also graduating and the family wouldn’t attend two parties for me in one year. That’s when I told them, we already set the date Oh, to be a fly on that wall.
They went ballistic. I’m laughing because I’m so uncomfortable and I’m not even there. Like, oh my gosh, this is terrible. This is terrible. They went ballistic, screaming verbally, verbally abusing me. Oh my gosh, and completely losing control. I finally snapped, yelled back, and stormed out. My father followed not to talk to me, but to apologize.
To my boyfriend for my behavior saying I’m sorry. She’s crazy. So now the dad’s like, Hey buddy, we’re friends. All these women, they’re so crazy. Get out of here. Get out of here. We walked down the block to the car and just stared each other. Finally, my boyfriend said, holy shit, you are right. He is like, yeah, you know what?
Um, I think I’m gonna take some time to think about this. Oh my gosh. That same day he offered to let me move in with him. He said he’d always suspected that my parents treated me badly, but he had no idea it was this dangerous. Um, and don’t tell, I mean, I know this is happening, this was in the past, but don’t tell your parents his address because they sound incredibly toxic.
Incredibly dangerous, abusive, like. Holy cow. This is, this is not good. We never got their blessing. We never got an apology. Two days later, after yet another argument, I packed my things and moved in with my in-laws at my husband’s insistence. I wish I could say I went, no contact with them, but the saga continued throughout our engagement.
Wedding and even the birth of our son and daughter. Girl, you’ve got so many stories to share. I, I have a lot of questions. Maybe I’ll reach out. Um, the fact that they were still invited to the wedding, they didn’t wanna offer anything, not saying parents have to or need to, of course not. Absolutely not.
But. It’s not like they were holding a string over your head. They were literally screaming at you. They never once supported you. They made fun of your boyfriend, then boyfriend. So to have them be a part of the engagement, your wedding, and now the birth of your son and daughter, I can see now why you relate to Ferris and Sloan story so much.
Choosing Safety, Breaking Cycles, and Protecting Peace
Oh, their first postpartum visit to our home is another insane story. One that ended with my husband banning them from our house entirely, but I think I’ve written enough for now. Oh, this poor girl. Oh my gosh. She really relates to Ferris and Sloan. It was, wasn’t until my grandpa. My only remaining tethered to them passed away in March, 2024 that I finally went no contact.
I am so proud of you. Like it’s so complicated. Relationships are so complicated, and you know, I’m not someone that you should be like, I’m not someone that’s like, oh, go no contact, because every relationship is nuanced. You never know, but based on what I know here. This was long overdue and I’m so proud of you and I’m sure it was very complicated and very hard to get to this point.
They still slander me daily on Facebook. These are emotionally, mentally, whatever else, spiritually emo i, immature parents. The fact they treat you like this and post about you on Facebook, like, ugh, tell ’em to grow up. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my story. I feel like it has the right amount of chaos to be one in one of your videos.
And for the record, we did have a beautiful ceremony and reception. It was one of the best days of my life. Second only to the birth of birth of my children. And yes, my mother wore a black dress. No one really noticed. Okay, well I’m glad the mom. Elise, I’m assuming, behaved yourself at the wedding and hopefully the dad, they still had their wedding that they wanted, and it still was a beautiful day.
So I’m glad for that. I’m glad that some people were able to close their mouths on this special day and let them enjoy it. But that is a wild story. If you ever feel like writing in more and sharing the rest, please do. Um, a lot of people say like. Writing these stories out of things that happened to them or things that they’ve seen is kind of therapy in a, in it, it’s kind of therapy in itself.
Um, it allows you to really go through your emotions again and really understand what happened. And then hearing other people’s stories allow you to see that you’re not alone and you’re not crazy. Um, because I think sometimes like our mind plays tricks on us and it’s like, oh, it wasn’t as bad. It wa you know, it didn’t happen like that, but it was your experience.
So I think writing it out can be really helpful, um, and understanding yourself, understanding what happened. Um, and hopefully in sharing this, other people can relate to you and maybe give some advice. Um. Or if other people are in the early stages, maybe you are in an engagement right now where their parents or your parents or some other relative is acting like this.
Um, so maybe we can share some advice as well. Oh my gosh, this, this poor couple. I’m really happy for you guys being able to go No, no contact. I think a lot of times children can bring that out in people because you’re like, I don’t wanna subject my child to this, and the cycle ends with me. Proud of you guys for that.
Alright, let’s end this episode with some confessions and then we’ll, we’ll get on with our days. All right. This is your biggest wedding regret. We always like to mix these up on Instagram, so that was the question of the week. Here we go. My father-in-law tried to influence what I was wearing on my wedding day, but I refused, so he made me cry.
What’s with these father-in-laws trying to influence what the bride wears? I read another story like that about him picking out Amazon dresses because they were affordable, like he wasn’t even paying for it. I don’t understand that this regret. It says not getting a professional photographer and not enough pics with my parents.
I think that’s one of the number one regrets I see. Photographer is so worth it getting a good photographer or videographer because I will tell you, I still see my wedding photos. We have them hanging, I have ’em in a photo book and it’s, it was so worth it to me not trying to do a small ceremony on a beautiful, small chapel that I’ve always wanted.
Okay. That makes me sad. I think a lot of times we get influenced by other people around us, or we see movies or we see what our best friend did and we’re like, ah, I need to have a wedding like that. I need to have a big wedding. I need to do this. And it, it pulls us away from what is actually true to us.
Um. I wish I had switched out some friends in my wedding party for my cousins. That’s hard. That’s hard when you regret having or not having someone in your wedding. All right, last one.
I let my friend do my hair and makeup. She’s, I let my friend do my hair and makeup, but she is no longer in my life. She turned out to be narcissistic. Well, that’s a whole can of worms. I, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that happened. Um, is the regret because she was not good at hair and makeup or the regret is because you’re not friends anymore?
Because if she did it well, who, who really cares? Because you could just be like, oh, it was a hairdresser. If it was that she’s not your friend. You only did it because she was your friend at the time and it was a bad hairstyle and makeup then. Yeah, that’s, that’s, that’s a regret I would have. Fun fact, I did my sister’s hair and makeup on her wedding day, and I’m four years younger than her.
Um, I’ve always loved doing hair and makeup. I’m no. In no way, shape, or form a professional. You, you guys can see I’m learning every day. Um, but makeup was not something that, like my sister completely enjoyed I think at the time. Um, and I remember doing it for her prom too, and her, um, another dance too. Um, so that was like fun.
But I don’t think I’ve done it for anybody else. Yeah, I don’t know. Anyway, that was a wild episode, wild story. Again, thanks for being here, you guys. This is my one year. Birthday of the podcast of Here Comes the Drama. Um, it’s just been so much fun to create so much fun meeting all these people, hearing your stories.
Um, so if you guys love the podcast, please share it with a friend. Um. It just really helps the podcast get out as well and hear, have more people hear about it. Um, I’m just so incredibly grateful. And of course, as a reminder, we’re doing our year giveaway, um, three prize winners, so make sure you subscribe to the podcast, subscribe to my YouTube channel, and comment on this video.
All you have to do is just make sure the word entered is in it. You can put anything else in there or nothing at all. Um, and the winner will be announced on March 12th. Um, we will reach out to you, we’ll comment on your, um, comment, and then we will also go through email after that going through the correct steps so we make sure we contact the right person.
All right guys. Thanks for hanging out with me. It’s been an amazing year and there’s so much more to come that I cannot wait to share. All right, guys, have a good one.
Thanksgiving Special: Gratitude, Growth & Empowering Moments
What have weddings taught me after 45 episodes? More than I ever expected.
From runaway brides to mothers-in-law who weaponize place cards, this past year has been filled with stories that cracked me open, lifted me up, and changed the way I see relationships entirely. In today’s special Thanksgiving episode, I’m bringing you the most heartfelt, jaw-dropping, empowering moments from the show — the ones that made me pause, tear up, rethink, and laugh out loud. These are the stories that reminded me why I started HCTD in the first place.
Whether it’s choosing yourself, challenging tradition, or surviving the wildly unexpected, these moments will stick with you the way they stuck with me.
Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month!
My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!
Check out the full featured episodes here:
- Education Hot Seats, Reality Checks & a Red Flag Romance — with Colleen Borgert
- Hired Bridesmaids, Fake Weddings, and a Parking Lot Party with Jen Glantz
- Baby Bumps, Brawls & Breaking the System with Payal Desai
- Sister Betrayal, Blood on the Dress & Wedding Regrets with My Best Friend, Ivette Bracken
- Queer Fashion, Wedding Etiquette and a SIL Showdown with Kati Kons
- Dress Codes, Divided Families & Day-Of Disasters With Lisa Pontius
- Career Pivots, Friendship Red Flags, and a Trashed Groomsuite — with Rebecca Rogers
- The Mental Load, Modern Motherhood & Drama That Sent Someone Packing — with Paige Connell
- Relationship Red Flags, Family Dynamics, and a Shocking ICU Revelation with Kate Gray, LMFT
Episode Chapter Markers
00:00 Introduction
06:47 A Wedding Day Disaster
09:45 The Role of a Professional Bridesmaid
13:25 Challenging Traditional Gender Roles in Marriage
20:06 The Importance of Valuing Stay-at-Home Moms
21:33 A Wedding Dress Fitting Gone Wrong
33:06 Starting in Wedding Fashion
33:37 Non-Traditional Wedding Attire
34:26 Queer Wedding Fashion
36:13 Wedding Planning Challenges
39:10 Marriage and Personal Timelines
51:20 A Life-Changing Event
Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments
- The Real-Life Rom-Com – A wedding party meet-cute turns into a love story that proves fate sometimes shows up exactly when it should.
- The “I Don’t Want to Do This” Bride – Minutes before walking down the aisle, a bride confesses she hates the groom… and the solution is unlike anything you’ve heard.
- Internalized Misogyny in Marriage – A candid conversation about gender roles, cooking, and the pressure women still feel to “perform” domestic duties.
- The Dress Fitting Disaster – My own wedding dress nightmare involving blood, chaos, and an unexpectedly emotional hug.
- Fighting for Nontraditional Fashion – How one stylist is helping brides and grooms redefine what wedding attire should look like.
- Listener Story: When “Next of Kin” Turns Toxic – A partner is shut out of the ICU by her boyfriend’s mother after a tragic accident — and the fallout is heartbreaking.
- Listener Story: MIL Wedding Takeover – A mother-in-law forces half the guest list to be cut… for her tennis buddies. Yes, really.
- Listener Story: The Pocket Money Getaway – When a bride jokes about needing “escape cash,” the truth behind the humor becomes painfully real.
Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode
- “If you’re wearing white to a wedding and you’re not the bride, you KNOW what you’re doing.” – Christa
- “Cutting someone from your guest list isn’t personal—it’s practical. It’s your day, not a family reunion.” – Christa
- “Traditions are great, but they shouldn’t hold you hostage. Your wedding should feel like YOU.” – Christa
- “Weddings are about celebrating love, not throwing a party to impress people you barely talk to.” – Ivette
- “If you have to choose between keeping the peace and keeping your boundaries—choose YOU.” – Ivette
*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.
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- Get Christa’s Book, Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris & Sloan Story
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Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.
Submit your story today: Story Submission Form
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A Team Dklutr Production
Blog Transcript:
Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Christa Innis: Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of, Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis, and we’ve got a kind of different episode for you today as today is Thanksgiving. I kind of wanted to use this time as a little reflection back on the last year. It’s been about a year since I started prepping for and recording podcast episodes, which is just. Wild to think. I feel like I just blinked and here we are. Um, this is episode 45, which I just, I truly can’t believe, you know, when I first set out to do this podcast, my goal was to have 25,000 downloads for the whole year. And as of recording today, which is. Two weeks prior to it coming out, we have officially hit 200,000 downloads, which still just blows my mind to think about.
Um, so I just wanna say how grateful I am for this journey for you guys to listen. And it’s just been so fun to. Be able to share and chat with you guys in just a completely different way than I do in my skits. You know, a lot of times in my skits I play these characters and it’s funny ’cause people comment sometimes.
They’re like, I don’t know if like, when I were to meet you in, if I were to meet you in person, which version I would get? And hopefully none of those. Um, but. This allows me, this podcast allows me to kind of open up to you guys a little bit more, have more conversations with other people, chat about things in a different way that I don’t always get to or don’t find the time to, um, on social media. So I just appreciate you guys for. Listening for downloading, for sharing with friends, and I just feel so much gratitude today. So, um, I really wanted to take the time, you know, it being Thanksgiving, um, to just express that to you. Um, it’s been a lot of work putting this podcast together and. You know, in the beginning I wasn’t really sure what to expect.
And so being able to look now, look back now and see how far it’s come, all the amazing guests we’ve had on the show, the people I’ve met through just creating content, the messages you guys have sent me has truly just been unbelievable. And, um, I tend to get emotional when I like sit back and like let it all soak in. But I’m gonna try my best not to. I, I. I fly by the seat of my pants a lot of the times. I, I am a planner by heart. I love to organize and I love to get things, you know, where they need to be. But I move pretty fast and sometimes I just move, like with the, the, sometimes I just move with the motions. Um, meaning I don’t always put meaning, I don’t always take time to sit back and be like, whoa, what is, what is happening here?
Or, wow, this is really cool. Um, even last night I was like sitting and I’m like. I published a book that’s always been a goal of mine to publish a book and I just like, was like, okay, onto the next. And so, um. I, I was reminded by when I had, um, Lisandra Vasquez on here, she talked about how, um, it’s really good to, you know, when bad things happen, we’re taught to say this too shall pass. But she said, also, with good things, reminding yourself, this too shall pass. Meaning. To really soak it in while it’s there and to really soak it in while things are good. And just allow yourself to really feel the gratitude and to feel, um, the excitement from that part of the journey. So, I know that was a long tangent, but.
I just want you guys to know what this truly means to me. Um, it’s been so great and I have so many more exciting things coming for you both on the podcast with book number two coming out and other things up my sleeve that I cannot wait to share. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you guys so much for being here. And of course, happy Thanksgiving. I hope you guys have a great day with your friends, your family, and you find things to truly be grateful for. Um. So, yeah, we are doing things a little different this week. Um, as I am reflecting back on this past year, instead of a full new episode, we are gonna be sharing some segments from some of our best episodes, some shocking stories, some impactful moments, and I can’t wait for you guys to listen to ’em all. So we’re gonna, we put something fun together for you and I can’t wait to, and I can’t wait to. And I can’t wait for you to listen and enjoy. That’s all I got for you guys this week. Thanks for listening, and I’ll see you next time. Enjoy. That’s all I got for you guys this week, and I’ll see you next time.
So without further ado, please enjoy this week’s episode.
Christa Innis: You said you have a story of how you met your husband at a wedding, so let’s get into that.
Meeting Mr. Borgert
Colleen Borgert: Okay, so I met Mr. Borgert. we were both in the same wedding party for my cousin almost 16 years ago.
And, he clocked me right away and was that’s the girl I wanna marry. So we got to the reception, danced a little bit. there was definite connection early on. We both went our own ways. the next week he called my cousin, old school, got my number, called me on the telephone. I heard this man’s voice who does that anymore?
So un heard of these days. I know. And he asked me out on a date and we have been together ever since. But yeah, he went up to my cousin who was the bride, and said, I just want you to know I’m gonna marry that girl. And
Christa Innis: oh my gosh, that’s like a romantic story.
Colleen Borgert: I know I love.
Christa Innis: Oh my God. So how is he connected to the wedding?
was he like a groomsmen or He was I guess your cousin’s husband.
Colleen Borgert: Yes, friend. He was, a longtime childhood friend of the groom. Okay. So now they get to be at family functions together and we’re like pretty our kids together. So it’s. wonderful.
Christa Innis: I love that when they’re already like connected, so there’s likeno extra introduction.
you got an in, he’s got an in. and then for you, it was a family wedding, so your family was probably already there. did he like meet your parents then at the wedding and everything?
Colleen Borgert: I don’t know if he necessarily like, them at the wedding.
Yeah. But was invested in the fun that my family can have for sure. We are in good time, so I love that. Yeah, he was there for it.
Christa Innis: Oh, that’s awesome. I love that story. ’cause usually when I ask people crazy stories, they’re like, I try to not put people on the spot, but,
I love that it was like a positive good story. Yes. Because people just remember these crazy moments. That’s why I share them. But like for the most part, there are so many great wedding stories and like fun moments and wild moments about, yes.
Things hanging out. Awesome. I love that.
Professional Bridesmaid or Emotional Support Human?
So when you’re thinking back of all the weddings, I’m sure you’ve all these like flooded memories that come up. What’s likeone of the craziest or like out there things that you either witnessed or you heard about or you saw at a wedding?
Jen Glantz: I worked a wedding one in Staten Island. I got to know the bride and the groom for about three to four months. Everything checked out. Everything seemed normal. I get to the wedding, we get her dressed. We have a great morning. Everything is going really well. All of a sudden, five minutes before the ceremony, all her guests are seated.
The wedding officiants there. Five minutes before the wedding, she grabs my arm, pulls me in a room and locks the door and she says, Jen, I hate the groom. I don’t wanna do this. that was the first time that this has happened to me. you see this in movies, the bride who’s I don’t wanna do this, let’s go.
But this was happening in real life, and I think this was like two or three years the job where I never experienced this. So I basically said to her look, I will call us an Uber. I’ll sneak you out the back door. Like we will go, I don’t care. I’ve been paid. I don’t care. But I personally can’t sleep at night unless you sit down with the groom and tell him you’re leaving because that just doesn’t seem right to me. this isn’t a rom-com. This isn’t a movie. This is people’s real life. So I basically put the groom in the room with her. I put a timer on my phone for 10 minutes and I was like, you guys talk for 10 minutes and then I will come back and whatever is decided I will help you with.
So in that 10 minute time, they basically hashed it out and they realized, okay, like they actually don’t wanna marry each other. They don’t like each other, they don’t wanna do this. But the weddings now and. My, the wedding should have started. So basically what they decided was that they were gonna go through with the wedding.
They never signed the marriage license, and it was just gonna be fake because the truth is like nobody actually knows if you sign your marriage license. And that’s what marriage actually is that legal document. So honestly, at a lot of weddings, they just don’t sign the the marriage license, and they’re not really married.
So the wedding starts, they don’t sign the marriage license, they’re like miles away from each other. The first dance, they’re like high schoolers who like won’t touch each other. It’s an outdoor wedding. It’s supposed to be a beautiful day. It starts storming torrential downpour. Everyone’s soaking wet.
They go to move the cake on the dance floor, the cake falls off the table. Like literally everything goes wrong. It was as if the universe was like, this shouldn’t happen. And I just remember leaving that wedding thinking like, wow, like this is
Christa Innis: crazy. It was crazy. like you mentioned, it’s not like a romcom, but it kind oflike it sounds so Crazy they’re like together this whole time playing this wedding and then the day of, they’re just both yeah, you know,I don’t really care. Let’s just go through this fake wedding. And did anyone else know?
Jen Glantz: No, because, all her friends were just like, why, what’s going on? And I was like, oh, they just have to talk about something before they go do their vows.
So likenobody really knew. But then I think during the wedding there was obviously a sense of like distance and hatred between them. But a lot of people don’t really pick up on that. nobody really questioned it. And yeah, I think like after the wedding ended, a couple months later, they just went their separate ways.
And that happens. not a lot of people, but people will break up or get divorced a couple months or a year after they get married because they felt this way on their wedding day, but they just didn’t admit it.
I do bachelor parties, rehearsal dinners, engagement parties, bridal showers.
I think the most interesting part is that I don’t drink, I just don’t like to drink. I haven’t drank in so many years, so I go to all these things completely sober. And it’s interesting because a lot of these environments are meant to be you, and people are more rowdy and drinking. So when you’re the sober one, you see it in such a different light.
Like you see the drama in a really different light. But also like I need to be sober because my job is not to party with them, it’s to fake party with them, but be there for them and you really need to have a clear mind. lot of people who want to work this job are like, I’d be so good at it.
I love to party, I love to drink. I’m like, but that’s not the job. The job is to be like an emotional support animal for these people and really just be there with all the twists and turns. And I think that it’s less glamorous than people think it is.
Christa Innis: Yeah. okay, so you said like in the beginning you weren’t really a fan of being a bridesmaid, but then through making this your business and then being in so many different weddings, is it like something that you find joy in and what are your favorite parts of it all?
because I’m sure it’s so different. I’m sure you meet like very organized brides that like tell you like this and this. And other times you’re probably helping them organize a little bit more. So has that shifted or changed since you’ve done it?
Jen Glantz: You
Christa Innis: know,
Jen Glantz: I’ve said this publicly from day one that I don’t love weddings.
I don’t understand them. I did not have one. I’m not wedding obsessed. I never was the little girl who cared about weddings. I still feel that way. I don’t necessarily love the wedding environment. I absolutely have this deep love for strangers and helping people. I don’t know. I’ve always been like that.
It’s just part of my personality. I find it harder to connect with people in my life. I find it easier to connect strangers, and that’s why I do it. That’s why I love it. I do think my favorite part of the job is being able to help a person during a difficult time in their lives. People don’t label weddings as that, but they actually are.
It’s really tough for people to have a wedding, especially ’cause most people have a tough family dynamic. They have secrets they have. Problems that surface during the wedding and they don’t really have anyone to turn to. ’cause your friends, they’re busy or you feel scared to tell them this information ’cause it will live with them forever.
So being able to enter a person’s life and help them process what should be a good time in their life, but is often a stressful time. Is the reason why I really love this job. I am not qualified to be a therapist, nothing like that. But I do feel like a little bit of my job is therapy for people, or at least it’s like a secret keeper.
Like I hold onto their secrets for them. and to be able to help them get through that is what keeps me going. It just happens to be in a wedding setting.
Christa Innis: Yeah. And I’m sure like you were saying earlier, like having an unbiased opinion from someone or just an open ear is helpful. ’cause you think like all your closest people at a party or wedding or something, they’re all gonna have some kind of bias around you.
Like whether that’s good or bad. And so just having someone there that’s there to help you and listen, like I’m sure just feels good to be like, just be on my side for this. I just need to tell you about this crazy thing my aunt did, or know, whatever it is. and I’m
not gonna lie to you because I have no stakes in the game.
So if you want my honest opinion, I’m gonna be honest. If you want unbiased advice, I’m going to do that because I don’t have to ever see you again. So I’m not gonna say things because I need to tiptoe around you. I’m gonna say what you want because. That’s the relationship is I am completely going to be unbiased for you.
I’m not going to lie to you. I’m gonna try to help you and do what’s I think is best for you because I have no stakes in the game where your best friend might be like, oh, Jen, like you’re just having cold feet. go through with it go through with it because they don’t want you to be embarrassed and they have all these like other agendas.
I have no agenda except that my job is to be there for you like a true friend would.
Weddings: Where Chaos Meets Champagne
Payal Desai: I’ve been thinking about how everyone really has internalized misogyny within us, especially like the way that I grew up and what I saw as in front of me modeled.
Everyone has internalized misogyny. And one way that it showed up in my marriage is that my husband loves to cook and he always has. And so when we got married, that was the role that he just naturally took. so we would meal plan together and everything, but then he would really execute the dish.
And I did not want like anyone to know about this. I did not want his parents to know, like I didn’t wanna make it a topic. I didn’t wanna tell my mom because every time it came up socially, like it made me feel like I. It made me look bad. Like I wasn’t fulfilling my duty. And there was even one time we hosted his family over and I made him tell them that I come to the lasagna and he was like, okay.
Christa Innis: Like I’ll tell them that’s okay. Like I’ll tell them that you made it. And I had not, I had assisted, I had sous chef. I was not doing it. And it still counts, but like,yeah. I was so worried about how people view traditional roles oh my gosh, I feel so
Payal Desai: seen right now.
Christa Innis: I still, yeah.
Payal Desai: It’s taken me a really long time to just now proudly be like, yeah, and it comes from women a lot of times, like women will make snide remarks and be like, he’s the one that cooks. Yes. Okay. if I bring a dish to a potluck with friends, they’ll be like, what did he make? This is my husband.
What did he make? He made a buffalo chicken dip and it’s really good. Yes. So the way, the tone in which it’s shared or like just giving him credit, I’m like, What are we doing? Like,there’s internalized misogyny in us.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I think it’s too, couples that maybe haven’t, you know, openly have that conversation of maybe the woman does everything.
They almost feel like. I don’t know the right word to say, but like, when they hear like someone’s husband does do some cooking, they’re like, oh, my husband can do that. And so it’s like an instant, like they’re angry that it’s not working out for them. ‘I’m not gonna say who, but there was someone close to me that like, when they found out my husband like cooked dinner for us one night, to their husband.
They were like, oh, you never cook for me. And it was just this like awkward moment. ’cause I was like. Okay. I don’t know. Yeah. that’s the same, my husband really enjoys cooking. And cooking for me has always been like second nature. Like I do okay if I like focus, I don’t find complete joy in it.
Payal Desai: I don’t find joy. I’ve never really found joy in it. And I think that when you are in a partnership like we’ve been talking about, like when one person has a strength and they take it on, it’s not as though he’s in the kitchen doing everything on his, I’m like, behind, I’m cleaning.
I’m sure you do dishes. I’m sure you’re like part of it because you both have to be part of it. Yeah. So I think that when people know he cooks, they just picture me laying on the couch. We have two children. Somebody’s giving them baths, like somebody’s doing something. There’s always something. My hands are never just idle,
but whenever we know that a man is taking on a very traditional role, Society is, wants to criticize that. I don’t understand it. I really don’t get it
Christa Innis: 100%. I feel like there’s so much more discourse about that now and the older generations that almost didn’t really have a choice where it was just like the man goes to work, he comes home, dinner should be ready on the table, maybe even like older.
’cause I. I don’t know. I think my parents’ generation was starting to equal a little bit, but it’s like grandparents’ generation for sure. It was like dinner on the table when you get home. Mom takes care of the kids so now that they’re seeing this conversation, people that I feel like.
It worked for them, and they’re like, why can’t the wife just be cooking? Why can’t this happen? It’s
Payal Desai: you gotta question who was it really working for? who remained extremely comfortable in the way that it was. if we wanna sit here and assume or make the, statements about how happy our grandmas were Cross culture, they were not. were oftentimes burdened without a choice. Yes. There’s not a lot of happiness in that. Okay. So you gotta just be able to critically talk about these things and not just be like, why can’t it just be like traditional?
Christa Innis: Yeah. a hundred percent.
yeah, I don’t share a lot of my personal. Life on out here. But I’ve had two different, molds when it came to my grandparents. And like my grandmother I’m really close to, I don’t even know when it was, I was a kid when she got divorced, but she’s always taught like such independence, like she’s done everything for herself.
And I feel like I learned a lot from her. Yeah. She was like, women can do everything. Like she was an ER nurse and she’s I knew more than the doctors. Doctors would try to come in and they would try to, these men would try to tell me what I knew, and she’s I knew more than them.
Yeah. And I was like, yeah, you go girl. And she was like, brought a lot of that, out of me, because I’m like, yes, not she’s not traditional in that way. So I was like. Yes, we need that. That’s amazing.
Payal Desai: And rare, right? Like I’m sure for her generation that was a little rare and maybe even getting divorced was not accepted by society.
’cause it, wasn’t as common for her generation, the next generation. Yes. It became like more common Women were no longer tolerating and like joining the work for like full-time. You have two parents who are working full-time and if the domestic labor is not, if there is an equity in that, then it’s going to cause conflict as it should.
Christa Innis: Yes. definitely. Oh my gosh, I feel like we could talk about this forever. I love it. Oh my God. Yeah. I’m so like, passionate about it just because I feel like it makes such a difference in the way like. I’m able to parent because my husband’s an equal part. Mm-hmm. I feel like so many women can’t speak up about that or they’re just, we’re pushed into the role of
Payal Desai: I feel like stay-at-home moms are amazing and I think that is your passion and goal and like,do it. Yes. But so many are pushed into that role without asking if that’s what they want or if they want. More. And I know I can get on a whole topic
from that. I really could too, because I think that a stay at home mom, we need to start looking at that a literal job with duties.
And you would never be working somebody around the clock, right? Like you would never give them 24 7 tasks like they, they’re working overtime constantly. Other jobs do have boundaries. Usually, or you can put in place healthy boundaries. And I’m just reflecting on like my job as a teacher, which oftentimes can have no boundaries, but I had to really work to do that.
So you’ve gotta be with somebody who also understands what you’re doing is a service. It’s a job and you may not be getting a paycheck for it, but you’re saving your family money. Yeah. So there is, like a financial aspect of being a stay at home mom and we need to be talking about that a lot more than we do.
Christa Innis: Yeah. We need to be valuing it as Yeah. The full job that just talking about because, I used to work for like a mommy brand and I worked in a mom group and so many of these women were just Almost put in a spot where it’s like their husband controlled every single thing.
And so it’s like they wanted that stay at home job, mom role, but then they weren’t able to have a certain amount of money and it’s No, we like value because. By her doing this, you’re allowed more time at work or you’re allowed more time to do this. and so yeah, that’s one of the many issues in our society right now.
Payal Desai: Yeah. Yeah,
Christa Innis: Wait, I’m laughing because I just realized we never talked about my dress fitting. Should we talk about it?
Ivette Bracken: I just thought about that. Yes. Tell the story please.
Because I immediately thought about that.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Okay. So I can believe I’ve never shared this before. was it my first dress fitting? No, I think it was your second. So it was to try it on. So I went into my dress fitting and I think for that one it was no ’cause
you had already been
Ivette Bracken: there before.
Christa Innis: Yeah, this was,
Ivette Bracken: yeah. So this is your second time. So I must have gone, did I go by myself? I think Jordan went with you the first time, didn’t she? And then I went with you the second time.
Christa Innis: Okay. Jordan and my mother-in-law, I think went the first time maybe.
Yeah,pretty sure. Yeah. Yeah. And so I go and first okay me, you and my mom pull up, or no, you are maybe behind us or something. We pull up and I called the woman and she was like, I don’t have any appointments today. And I’m like, yeah, you have an appointment. we’re outside. and she’s Nope, I’m looking at the books.
I don’t have anything. She’s can you come back? And I was like, my maid of honor and my mom or are here and they live an hour away. we can’t really just reschedule today. And she’s oh, okay, be there in 30 minutes. Can you just go to the local coffee shop?
Which ended up being really cool. That’s a great experience. It was really great ’cause it was friends theme and we’re big fans of friends around here, so that was really cute. But we go back and she’s still not there. And then she like. Quickly comes around the front lets us in. No, she doesn’t even let us in.
I think we let ourselves in. She’s in the back, doesn’t even come out to say anything. And you can just hear her back there and she’s like, yeah,be out in a second. And I was like, okay. It was like another, what, 20 minutes? Yeah.
Ivette Bracken: We were waiting for a while. Yeah. she was a grandma, right?
So she had, was it one grand baby or two? Just the one, I think one was there and she was like, toddler, she was a toddler. this woman is stressed out, sweating. I can hear like in the back, things falling down, being knocked over. I feel
Christa Innis: the
Ivette Bracken: tense, like tension? Yes.
So then she was like, what was your name? I was like, Krista. And she was like flipping through pages back there in this room in the back. And she’s like,yeah, okay, we’ve got your dress. we’ll get it on. And she comes rushing out and puts it in the room. And I like go in there by myself.
Christa Innis: I like, shut the door or did I go in there by myself? No, I can’t remember. And then I like slowly open it or something. And I was like, Eva, come here. And you’re like, what? And so you and my mom came in and I was like, there’s blood all over the dress. it wasn’t just like a couple spots, it was all over, underneath the layers.
Ivette Bracken: Like a trail of everywhere she was touching, which is the whole. Dress, she was leaving blood everywhere.
Christa Innis: Yes. And I feel like she like overheard me say that and then like came back and she’s oh, it’s just a spot. And then just quickly sprayed and wiped. And I was like, internally panicking because like in that point of course, sure most things can come out, but it’s just like a kind of a weird thing to be like there’s someone else’s blood on your dress when you’re like here to try it on.
Yeah. I think she was like panicked doing it fast. Like really fast. And I was like, okay, you know what? They said something’s gonna happen wrong during your wedding planning. And I said, this is the thing. And I’m just glad it’s my dress and it’s early. I was internally panicking, but I think at that point you took the lead and you were just like, okay, what’s going on here? And you were like, just, kind, but you were very like, firm with her. Like,okay, what are we doing here? And she’s like,I don’t know. And then she held her hands up and her hands had cuts all over them, almost like she was just moving really fast.
So I think what happened is she had me down for the wrong date. And then when I called and said I was outside, she panicked and was like, I have to do this right now. Which if she just said, I forgot, I would’ve been like, don’t worry. Yes. If we
Ivette Bracken: would’ve known, like it wasn’t just, oh, I don’t have, anything booked, but it’s actually not done.
even after that, you are so understanding. I was shocked. I saw everything happen. okay, late stress is going up. she’s. In the bath, you can feel the tension. Your stress level’s going up. Oh my gosh. Your dress, your wedding dress is covered in blood stress is like up at the top.
But then once I like talked to her, you talked to her. I think your mom too maybe. I can’t really remember, but I feel like your stress level was going down and then I feel like at the end of it, did you hug her or is that my imagination?
Christa Innis: Yeah. So you hugged
Ivette Bracken: her?
Christa Innis: I could tell she was so like embarrassed cause I feel like there’s people on the internet that like here, oh, you’re an empath, blah, blah, blah.
But like I can sense, and some people out there might agree, they might call me weird, whatever. But when there’s tension or I can tell someone’s trying to hold in. if they’re upset, I can sense it. I swear to God it’s like a sixth sense. I just felt like I believe that. Yeah. So even when she got like the spots, she got most of the spots out.
She was spraying it and then I finally tried it on, right? So I’m staying in the mirror and she’s doing her normal thing. But you can tell like she’s holding back tears. Like I could tell and this poor woman, like you could tell she does not do this normally. She kept saying, I’ve never done this before.
I’ve been in business for this long, I’ve never done this before. I’m so sorry. Kept saying sorry. we’ve all been in shitty positions where like we either forget something or we mess up something, we’re late to something. we’ve all done that. And so like I could tell even when she was looking at the dress and I was standing on the podium or whatever you wanna call it, she was like holding back tears.
And I think she felt so embarrassed. And so then when we were booking the next appointment, she was like shaking. I remember seeing her hand shake ’cause she was so embarrassed. And I go, Hey, it’s okay. I was like, it’s fine. we are good. You did a great job. And I was like, can I hug you? And I was like, I remember that.
Ivette Bracken: I don’t even know what she said, I was like teary-eyed I feel like the tears coming right now because no bride does that. just says so much about your character and not to like, whatever, kiss your butt.
But no, seriously, It’s your wedding dress. Every little girl dreams about getting married and like having the perfect dress and you have a situation and at the end of it, instead of, taking your dress, going somewhere else, you’re being like, I better get this for free. none of that. It was, Hey, you did a great job.
And I remember you asked her for a hug and she was like, yes. And I saw you guys hugging and I remember looking at your mom and we were both like, just so moved by that. And it was just so sweet to see and yeah, such a good story. And when we left, there was still blood on the dress. Like you said that she cleaned it all up.
She didn’t get it all off. there was still blood on the dress. Do you remember that? A lot of spots, I think. Yes.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I think ’cause I was just like. Why, and I don’t know where this comes from, but I’m like, why make someone feel worse? she probably feels terrible right now that she like messed up or forgot or, she’s so embarrassed because I read these stories with these bridezillas and honestly, most stories that get sent to me aren’t bridezilla stories.
They’re mostly like family related, whatever. but you read them and you’re like, why make someone feel bad for a mistake or an accident or I’ve worked in the restaurant industry, I know you have two and it’s like you’ve seed stuff like that too. People are terrible to people in the service industry.
People are terrible to anyone that’s just trying to help them out. And I’m like, I would feel awful leaving knowing that she was crying because of that situation. I want her to be like, no. I’m still your customer. you’re busy. You do a great job. I obviously came to you because you were recommended by me.
I’m not gonna leave like a bad review or anything. The dress ended up looking gorgeous. I loved that dress. I still love it. there’s so many heightened emotions around weddings and I feel like it’s so easy to lose your cool. Of course, like you hear about it all the time, but you to remember like the people you’re working with are human too.
Like they’re allowed to make this. Yeah, absolutely.
Ivette Bracken: Yeah. I’ll never forget it. Yeah, I knew, I was like, no, she hugged her. I remember she asked for a hug,
Christa Innis: and honestly, that’s I shouldn’t say out of my character to ask someone for a hug, like a stranger. I know Something came over me and I was just like, she really needs a hug right now.
cause I just, I remember just seeing her handshake as she was like writing the next appointment and I go, Hey, it’s okay. We’re fine. yeah. Wedding day will be great. honestly. And she was like so sweet and she was like, send me pictures of the dress and, all that.
yeah, I don’t know.
Ivette Bracken: I just, she probably went home that day to liketell her family and then she probably said how great you were. And I can’t believe it. She hugged me at the I felt so bad. And, thank God she was a good bride, like a sweet person. yeah,
Christa Innis: I don’t know.
she was great. I mean, I feel like there’s a few groomsmen in her wedding that went to her and Bridesmaids. ’cause I was like, go to her. She’s great. She’s local for some of us and yeah, she was awesome.
Serving Looks & Shaking Up Tradition
I am Katie. I am a queer fashion stylist, and I mostly do weddings and non-traditional weddings, because there’s no process for finding non-traditional wedding attire, or wedding attire that isn’t like a suit or a dress. I got started because I got engaged and I identify as somewhere in between, female and non-binary. It just depends on the moment. and not like I wake up one day and I’m non-binary and I wake up one day and I’m a woman. It’s just like I don’t care to do the soul searching is the moment,
Katie Kons: but in my day to day, I love wearing dresses and skirts, so when I got engaged I was like really into wedding dresses and I got really into the whole wedding fashion scene. But what became super apparent to me was there is. Nothing outside of wedding dresses for anyone outside of white wedding dresses for anyone that was non-traditional at all.
And there were just no options. None. And the thing is, all the wedding dresses were the same too. There were like 10 different styles and there were like 10 variations of those 10 styles and that’s it. And there were not even non-traditional white wedding dresses. It was so crazy to me.
‘ cause to find the non-traditional white wedding dresses, they were like, on Etsy that you had to order From across the earth, like you couldn’t try them on. It’s just so weird. It was such a weird thing to me. Anyways, I got really frustrated because there were no even pants or jumpsuits at the wedding shops in town, and.
Suit shops were obviously only for people who were like strictly traditional men. And there was like in between and there was no color anywhere mostly. And it was just like nothing. And so I loved the wedding dress situation. And I just started learning about wedding dresses a lot.
But I started posting on TikTok because I started to get into like content creation at the time. and so I started, wanting to help people find their non-traditional wedding attire. And so that’s how I got into it, is I got into it myself and then I got into wanting to help people ’cause I realized that they didn’t have it.
they didn’t have a means of finding it. And also there wasn’t a lot of it, so that made it. Twice as hard. And so that’s how I started is I started in wedding fashion and now I do wedding fashion styling. So I help you throughout the journey of finding your wedding attire and also styling the accessories and all the little details of your wedding outfit.
And then I also do personal styling the side, and I do some red carpet styling, event styling as well, just like to a much smaller scale than the other two things. and yeah, I do a lot of things because I just take on things that I wanna do and I don’t really say no unless I really don’t wanna do it.
Christa Innis: yeah. When you say non-traditional wedding dress, and you’re talking about like jumpsuits, I remember. was engaged and I was like starting to plan into my wedding, my friends all know me. Like when I was a bridesmaid, I love a good jumpsuit. Like, so for like three weddings I was in, I wore a jumpsuit.
Good. Because looked like kind of dresses. So it looked like uniform, especially like a palazzo pant or something where the wide leg was flowy. Yes. I loved it. and then you’re on the dance floor and you’re like, I can do my thing. you can do the splits, you can do whatever you want.
Yeah. If I wanted to learn how to do the splits that night, I would be okay. but I remember seeing a lot of the bridal jumpsuits starting to come out more and more. I wore one to my rehearsal dinner, but not the actual wedding. So when you say untraditional wedding dress, what kind are you looking for personally or do you look for brides or couples getting married, that come to you for that kind of unique look?
Katie Kons: Yeah. So the reason I say I’m like a queer wedding fashion stylist is because there’s no one that tailors their services to the queer community. And I don’t want to be exclusive of other non-traditional people that want these kinds of services, but I know that there’s no one else that, actually tailors their services to the queer community.
And I think that’s important, especially in this time, day and age, when queer people are just being targeted left and right, to take a step back, I think the attire that is non-traditional is more like the drama of a dress, but the comfort of pants,
Like you just described, a jumpsuit is gonna give you the mobility and the freedom to do what you want but you get the, the prettiness of make a dress, and I think a lot of people when they come to me is they’re like, I want the drama moment of a dress, meaning I want a train, meaning I want the details and I want the like princess or prince or something where it’s I want the grandeur of that.
Christa Innis: but I don’t want to be in that level of femininity of a dress.
Yeah. Because
Katie Kons: they feel secure in pants.
Christa Innis: Yeah. love, and I think
Katie Kons: a lot more people do feel secure in pants than dresses.
Yeah. But suits are just out of the fucking question for a lot of people,
yes. Especially ’cause the options for suits or Traditional man suits, which are like, fucking boxy as shit. And then there’s like women’s suits, which are like business suits that you wear to corporate events.
And then there’s the other accessible suits you find out fast fashion places, there’s no like good accessible suits for women that are like quality shit that you can just find. Yeah. I don’t know, like where would you even look for that? I’m like, off the top of my head, I don’t even have an answer.
And I’m a fashion stylist that makes me so angry.
Christa Innis: this says I had to uninvite half of my friends to make room for my mother-in-law’s tennis buddies. No. What? Whose wedding is it?
Lisa P: Oh my God. I call it they’re gonna stop talking to the mother-in-law like five years down the road.
Yeah. Like altogether. No way. That’s insane.
Christa Innis: That sounds and I’m obviously reading between the lines, but that sounds like a mother-in-law that was maybe paying for part of it or something, and she used that as a way to control the wedding because I see the make room like you had to, who said
Lisa P: you had to.
Yeah, that’s definitely, that’s a manipulation like that. I don’t love that. I don’t either. I feel like is probably gonna go bye-bye for a little while.
Christa Innis: Yeah. we need to say no. Set some boundaries with that mother-in-law. okay. This last one says, I joked I wanted pockets on my wedding dress for getaway money.
Deep down, I think I knew it was true. Oh. The number of times people have confessed to me like, I had a feeling, before the wedding. I told my dad I didn’t wanna get married before the wedding, and I still did. I’ve gotten so many of those.
Lisa P: I had a
Christa Innis: friend do that to me. Really?
Lisa P: Yes. I knew before they got married that she did not really want to start all over is like how she put it.
I don’t know. I took that to my grave. We don’t really speak anymore, and that is not my business. And they’re still married, so sometimes
Christa Innis: it works out. Oh, see, I was gonna say the opposite happened to me. and I’ve talked about this before, but I was in a wedding years ago and every wedding event there was some kind of thing, and it was with him, every kind of thing.
she like cried in the car after the bachelorette party. She cried in the car. Oh, yeah. After the rehearsal. All these different things. And I was just like. Hey, should we rethink this? Oh, I, we already paid the vendors. I’m like, yeah, but divorce is way more expensive.
Lisa P: Oh God no. Yeah, no.
If there’s a doubt in your mind on the person, I feel like I. You’ve gotta cut and run. getting divorced is so much more traumatic. It’s so much more expensive. God forbid you like, have a bunch of kids. no. If it’s not right so on my page I talk a lot about, and I’m very happily married, that like marriage should not be this like.
Default standard that people are trying to hit. Because when you get 12 years in a marriage and you’re, most people my age got married somewhere around the same time I did. You see a lot of divorces by now. Okay. We’re starting to have that first round of divorce A is coming through and it’s God, what a wait.
Not a lot of waste because a lot of them have children and that’s like the wonderful thing that came out of it. you don’t have to get married You could end up really miserable like in so many ways. And that’s it’s just not something that, if you can in any way, imagine your life without that person, not without a spouse, but without that specific person.
Don’t do it. a hundred percent. Especially if you’re a woman.
Christa Innis: Oh yeah, totally. And I always have this too, like I’ve been with my husband, I think we’re going on 11 years this year. But we’ve been married three. And so like for us it I totally agree with you what you just said about you don’t have to get married, you don’t have to follow a certain timeline.
So many people were constantly like, when are you getting married? When are you getting married? And I was like, we do things on our own timeline and I just feel So many people have their own expectations on everyone else, and especially as women, I feel like we have the expectations of okay, I need to do this, then I need to get married.
I need to have a baby. you feel like you have to follow this timeline.
Lisa P: Yeah. And it feels like a rushed timeline at the moment. and I feel pre to that too. I was like, oh, I wanna have two by 30 and like I did, but. now looking back at it, I’m like, you idiot. you should have just been like, find the right person and then figure it out.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I know. I remember if it were just like my then boyfriend, but husband and I,doing our own thing.we’d be like totally fine and then someone would bring up oh, are you guys gonna get married? And I would be like, do I wait? Are we doing something wrong?
And it almost puts us like, not like guilt, but this feeling of you of like.Wait, are we doing something wrong? Is our relationship, because we’re just dating right now, is that wrong? And you start getting this no, because half
Lisa P: of the men in divorces anyway, so Yeah.
Marriage isn’t the great indicator of like lifelong companionship anymore. and like
Christa Innis: too our, like our parents’ generation, I feel like they were so committed to like marriage that like they stayed. unhappily married for so long without actually admitting I actually hate this.
Oh, they wrong
Lisa P: gold stars for it too. They’re like, we’ve been married 35 years. I hate Jeff, but he lives in the other bedroom, but we’ve been married this long. And I’m like, but why? What kind of award are you winning here? I know some people have the whole like, divorce is a sin thing, but like you’re already in hell.
Yeah. Yeah. I don’t see the point in that like a relationship should only be there to enhance your already wonderful life. And if it doesn’t do that, then it’s not worth it. And feel the same way about kids too. I feel like the relationships that I see with people who don’t have kids by choice, obviously there’s People who have extenuating circumstances where they can’t have children, but people who choose not to have kids, I feel like they have this like gift of time to like really find their perfect partner.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Lisa P: they usually choose better.
Mm-hmm.They get to choose somebody that they truly just wanna spend all their time with, as opposed to people who do the musical chairs type of marriage, where they’re like,it’s been three years since college.
Like,I guess you’re the guy.
Christa Innis: Yes.
Lisa P: Yeah. Yeah. I guess you’re the person I’m with right now. So musical chairs, let’s do it. let’s get married. Timelines are ticking, I feel like it saddles us down. yeah. In a.
Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s definitely another thing as women we’re like told that the biological clock is ticking, you need to have kids hurry up.
My husband and I since year, one of dating, when are you guys gonna have kids? And I was like, I’m not even thinking about kids. Or what are you talking about? and I like look back and I’m like, if I had kids when we had started dating, I was like, I would’ve been a completely different.
Ma Um, I would’ve been in completely different financial point in my life and I and not saying that’s right or wrong, I’m just saying everyone’s timeline is different. ‘ cause I know people had kids at in their early twenties and they are thriving and they were meant to be moms at that point.
But I just feel like it’s so important to listen to your own timeline. ‘ cause I have friends now that are like,
Lisa P: this new generation is doing a lot better than like we were as millennials. Yeah. I feel like the younger girls are like, really? Coming to the table with the head on the shoulders a little bit more without the fairytale movie, prince Princess aspect that we were sold.
Christa Innis: Yes. I love that. Yeah. I’ve noticed like the shift in the movies, especially with my daughter being she’s two and I feel like.The movies have shifted. Obviously there’s still the fairytale, but I’m like, let’s watch Moana because she’s like brave and or Meredith, she doesn’t need a man. I try to show her some different things because of course we still love the classics, but it’s good to open the horizons up a little bit.
Lisa P: Yeah, definitely. I mean, my daughtershe still very much knows she wants to get married and have kids like I knew from a young age. So I don’t like balk at that. some people just really have that desire. but she still is like,maybe I’ll be president and a dance teacher.
And I’m like, you go, you do both. I love that. Yes, you both.
Christa Innis: Stop you, girl. I love that.
Yeah.
Rebecca Rogers: going back to what you said early at the beginning, like COVID in general I think changed how I view everything, whether it be myself, whether it be, the world people, because in reality, like I’ve always been an extrovert, but I used to be much more reserved and self-conscious and social media, the classroom was really where I could be silly and be myself and just, whatever.
And then when social media accidentally took off, I learned, oh, I can be myself. And people don’t hate it. That’s cool. And that’s where I found my voice, not just with myself, but with people also. being able to step into my true skin really helped me. I. Advocate for myself, set boundaries, all be more picky about who I allowed in my life and not.
and of course we’re all works in progress. We all have ways to go. I’m still a people pleaser. I’m still a doormat, but I’m definitely not as bad as I used to be.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I know, I totally agree with you. Yeah. The people pleaser the thing where I’m better at saying no. Now if something, if I like don’t have time or I just can’t do it, I still have that guilt though.
I’ll be like, are they gonna think I’m a bad person or a bad friend? And then my husband will be like, no, They literallys not a second thought. it’s okay. yeah, it’s interesting how you’re ingrained in that. But I always call myself a recovering people pleaser.
‘ cause I’m like, I’m actively working against it and telling myself exactly. But I think my like immediate filter is better at reading people now. I had a thing happen where, someone that I had met years ago, and I wanna be very vague.
Someone I had met years ago, and the time that I met her, she was not very friendly or kind. Okay. Okay. But since she had seen videos of mine on TikTok and when she bumped into me immediately asking how I could help her and was like, oh, my thing like over here and asking me all these questions, she’s I’ll send you a message on TikTok right now because I’d really like to know how I can do this.
I was at an appointment, I was somewhere and I was like, okay. And I came home and my husband, I was like, I have no intention of messaging her back. Because I could tell it was for all the wrong reasons. She Yeah, exactly. Just I felt like very used and like icky after it.
And she’s yes. So loudly so people could hear and like being like asking about personal things and I was just like, I sorry. M’s. Not interested in that. I know people are gonna be like listening and being like, Christa’s all over the place today.
Rebecca Rogers: Longest episode ever. No, I love this ’cause I’m all over the place and so she’s really just mirroring me.
It’s my fault guys. It’s fine. I
Christa Innis: love it. actually no, people have said I wish the episodes were longer, so it’s okay if it’s a little bit longer.
Oh,you brought the right guest. Yeah. Yeah. Me. we really could sit and just talk forever. We could. that’s my favorite thing. Oh, go ahead.
Go ahead. go ahead. No, you’re good. I was just gonna say, I barely, other than my husband and my daughter, and then if we randomly go do things, like they are who I see, like I work from home, so if I have a call, I see someone. So that’s why I’m like, the podcast is a great way to chat with people.
Rebecca Rogers: ’cause I’m like, yeah, it really is this job. People don’t realize how isolating this job really is. ’cause in reality, we’re like sitting at home alone, talking to ourselves and yeah, we post it for a lot of people, but we don’t have that human interaction. I always say, and I think I probably said this to you when we were together in Chicago, is that.
There’s so many different types of personalities that do well on social media. and when you find the people that have the similar one to yours, it’s like the most validating and wonderful feeling. And I’m like, I wanna talk to them all day long. It’s, and it’s it’s the best feeling because even in days or moments where you feel self-conscious, it’s like, But I found the people who get me and yeah, it’s beautiful and it feels good.
Christa Innis: It’s like the best feeling ever. Yeah. No, definitely. an industry and heart and hard to explain sometimes. For sure.
Rebecca Rogers: Yeah. Yeah.
Generational Reflections on Relationships
Paige Connell: I think a lot of people say couple things, that I hate men, which I don’t hate men.
I just want men to show up in a more meaningful way and. I think most of them want to do that, which I know not everybody believes that. Like I actually am a person on the internet who says, I actually think most dads wanna be good people and good parents. they’re not doing it necessarily, but I think they want to.
And so it’s worth trying to get them there. but most people say, I hate men, or, that my husband must hate me. those are two top comments, because I’ve talked about my own experience in marriage and motherhood with my partner and what that journey’s been like. And this mostly comes from men.
Obviously it’s not coming from women. I would say the vast majority of women. Feel understood or at least relate to something that I’m saying, even if not everything. but those tend to be the top comments, which is because I’m pushing for gender equity that yeah. I don’t like men and then men in my life don’t like me.
Christa Innis: I feel like too, it’s like people that say that kind of thing, in their family. It’s if it’s not, broke, don’t fix it kind of thing. Yeah. It works for them, but does it actually work for them? Maybe it works for them as the male partner, but have they actually sat down with their partner and asked, does this work for you?
But I think are probably afraid to ask that question because they don’t wanna get the pushback or have to carry more of that mental load.
Paige Connell: Yeah, I think it’s, layered. I think it depends on the person, obviously. And.
one I hear from women in their sixties, seventies, all the time who are like, I wish I’d had this when I was younger.
’cause I just suffered through it. And I spent 40 years of my life catering to somebody who never helped me at all. And I hear that constantly. And then I’m lucky enough to hear from young women who are learning about what they do and don’t want in a relationship. But I think for men, some of it’s, what did I see growing up?
What did my dad do? What did my mom do? I think to your point of happiness, one of the comments that I see often, which is always so surprising to me, and I think comes from a very specific subset of men, is that men will sacrifice their happiness for their family, and women will sacrifice their family for their happiness.
So insinuating that women who expect more from their partner or choose divorce because they’re unhappy, are choosing their own happiness above their families, and men are willing to suffer. For their families. and it’s this very specific talking point that I find so interesting. But I think it’s, again, trying to position women in this bad light the same way we do as single moms.
Single moms are bad. Where are the dads? the moms are there. we talk about that.
Christa Innis: yes,
Paige Connell: the impact that being raised by a single mother has. And we never say okay, the impact of a father being absent has, right? we never talk about that. So I think it’s a branding thing, but essentially Whenever women do something that remotely prioritizes themselves, we position it as selfish. When women have a career, they’re selfish, right? looking to make a ton of money. They’re letting somebody else raise their kid. When men do it, they’re providers, they’re family men, right? They’re putting food in the table.
We, very different narratives for men and women in our society. So much so that. we would never call a mom a hands-on mom or a present mom. Mm-hmm.so many women will be like, I have the best husband. He’s such a present dad. He is so hands-on. yeah,have to be hands-on with the toddler.
Likethere’s no other version of parenthood. For women. And so it’s just so interesting. I think some of it is just, yeah, the status quo, what we’re used to, and then other parts of it are yeah, what we think about men and women at their time and whose time we
truly value.
Christa Innis: That’s such a good point.
Yeah. It’s like I’ve seen videos about where it’s like a mom could be juggling like a few kids at the store and they’re like, that’s a mom. The kid might be like throwing a tantrum or something and they’re just like, okay, whatever. She’s doing her mom thing. But if a dad does it, he’s such a good dad.
Paige Connell: The best
Christa Innis: dad. She’s such a good dad. And I remember like people will say stuff about my husband, they’ll be like, oh, he changes the diapers. Oh, he takes her places by himself. I’m like. he’s her father. Like why wouldn’t he? Yeah. But I feel like it’s also generational, at least my parents’ generation, I feel like a lot of times it was Stayat home mom, so she was with the kids a lot, the dad was at work and you saw them for dinner time.
the older generations are like, what’s happening here? Like,something’s shifting.
Paige Connell: Totally. I think things are shifting. I think in the millennial generation you’re seeing more egalitarian relationships, which is amazing. you’re seeing a little bit more polarization in the younger generations between men and women and what they expect from one another.
And I think. There’s many reasons for that, but it is interesting how different millennial men are compared to their fathers. And I think that’s a good thing. I think it’s a good thing, but it doesn’t come without pushback. Obviously, when you’re talking about deeply ingrained expectations of men and women, when you push back on those people, it gets uncomfortable.
Christa Innis: Yeah, definitely. it’s for the better good everyone. For sure.
Paige Connell: I agree.
Plot Twist: When Life Says ‘Let’s Add Drama’
Christa Innis: You know how people say you don’t need a piece of paper to prove your love? That was us until life taught us otherwise. We met in the mid nineties, in our early twenties and clicked instantly. Within a few months, we were living together.
The next year we experienced a miscarriage, and not long after I was pregnant again, our Rainbow baby was born the following spring. By the end of that year, we bought a house together, and still we had no plans to marry. We were anti traditional and didn’t think a marriage certificate mattered. Then everything changed.
In the summer of 2000, my partner was riding his motorcycle and was hit at full speed while making a legal turn. He suffered a traumatic brain injury and was in a coma for three weeks. Oh my gosh. His helmet saved his life, but it was a long road ahead because we weren’t legally married.
His mother stepped in and told the doctors she was next of kin. This is, oh my gosh. Wow. Oh my God, this is so bad. This is terrible. she explicitly told them not to speak to me. this is like something that’s so complicated that I never would’ve even thought about.
Kate Gray: Wow. yeah, we just
Christa Innis: automatically assume your partner for that long.
Having kids together, That’s your person you like
Kate Gray: earned your right? Yeah. In all in their eyes too. Yeah.
Christa Innis: Yeah. she said I understood she was heartbroken, but I had been his partner for years. We shared a home, we were raising a toddler, and yet I was completely shut out. Wow. Oh my gosh. She even looked me dead in the eye and said, you’re just the mother of his child.
Oh. This is probably one of the tragic stories I’ve read on here. that sentence has never left me. Yeah. A single piece of paper would’ve spared me so much pain. Thankfully we had an incredible nurse who saw what was really going on. I showed proof that we lived together and she let me sneak our son into the ICU to see his dad.
So the grandma was even keeping son away sounds like,
Kate Gray: oh my gosh.
Christa Innis: Within four days, he woke up. I truly believe that visit made a difference. The bond between them has only grown stronger since. Eventually he came home and made an incredible recovery. About 95% of who he was before the accident.
I didn’t tell him what happened while he was in the hospital. I just wanted him to heal. Oh. So this is interesting ’cause it relates to what we were talking about, about like protecting your partner. But this is like the opposite way. So she’s almost protecting him from his own mother.
What’s her take on that? cause I am, I’m also wondering how involved this grandma is in their life. Yeah.
Kate Gray: For
Christa Innis: and be like, no, I’m the next of kin.
Kate Gray: Yeah, exactly. My, I have a lot of questions. I’m like, If they didn’t get married, then there wasn’t a wedding and there wasn’t this family event.
This I don’t know how much that matters, but like basically she wasn’t necessarily included in their formal relationship.
Christa Innis: And I’m wondering what their relationship was like before, How involved she was, how not involved, what her relationship was like with her son. so that’s what I have just context.
Kate Gray: I want context to that. But you wanna demonize the mother-in-law in these situations, like it’s easy to say, oh my gosh, what a terrible person. How could she do this and disrespect me like this?
And I wonder, again, that’s like zooming out. Is this a pattern where she like the.
partner doesn’t share things with him to protect him. And is this just another thing, part of that, when this is something that he definitely needs to know?
they definitely need to figure out together.
Christa Innis: Yeah, because I feel like that would be my thought. Like I understand her concern with being like, you know what, let’s just focus on him healing.
But yeah, then I would also be like, what if something happens? Like where,
Kate Gray: yeah,
Christa Innis: he has a stroke. I don’t know. Just you think like something happens where like another life altering event. course you would hope like nothing happens after that, but like things happen and then you’d be like, okay, how can I protect myself now I wanna talk to him because.
I wanna make sure we’re like on the same page moving forward or something.
Kate Gray: Yeah. Wait, did she say that she didn’t tell him any of this? Is that what she said?
Christa Innis: So there’s still a little bit more, but she said so far, I didn’t tell him what happened while he was in the hospital. I just wanted him to heal.
Okay. Yeah. Okay. Wait. And then right after it says, so I didn’t read this yet, but once he was well enough to return to work, we started making secret wedding plans. Oh. Oh, okay. okay, let’s see where this goes. Okay. It says, we hosted a backyard barbecue that December. A few close friends and family knew it was more than just a cookout, but most didn’t.
Okay. So they did a surprise, oh my gosh. Wedding. Most didn’t including his mother.
Kate Gray: I, oh wait, his, so his mom didn’t know. Didn’t know that it was a secret wedding.
Christa Innis: Okay. I have so many thoughts now because I’m like, okay, was their relationship with the mom always bad or if the mom always made it clear that she did not like her, because now it’s I’m not gonna tell you what happened.
So you talk to your mom, we’re gonna have this wedding.
Kate Gray: Oh my gosh. I didn’t even think retaliation basically, which like,
Christa Innis: obviously they’re gonna get married anyway, so I don’t want ’em to think I’m thinking that, but I’m just like, oh. She’s you did that to me while my husband watch
Kate Gray: this.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Watch this. I’ll prove you. How much he’s my partner.
Kate Gray: or or she just learned from that. this woman is not safe for us to tell anything to, and we need her in a group of people so she’s not acting crazy that when it’s our moment. That’s such a good, that’s who. you can’t make this up.
Like you cannot make this up. It’s wild. This is a wow
Christa Innis: story. Yeah. I’m like picturing it now. And that was such a good point about being aware of okay, how could she act out if it was just us?
This way she’s gonna maybe, hopefully be on her best behavior. ‘ cause certain people like that aren’t gonna put on a show.
they might, some people might.
Kate Gray: But if they did, there’s witnesses now.
Christa Innis: Yes,
Kate Gray: man. we’re
Christa Innis: not the crazy ones. It’s not us. Yeah, exactly. Like now you see Yeah. Yeah. This is what we’re dealing with. Oh my gosh. oh, here we go. Okay. She had no idea it was a wedding until the cake came out.
She was livid. Oh my gosh. Oh. A year or so later, we paid off all of her debts and helped her move out. Move out. Wait. Was the mom living with them? Did I miss something? Oh,
Kate Gray: because that would be crazy if the mom was living with them and she didn’t know they were getting married.
Christa Innis: Yeah. if the mom was living with them, how long was she living with them for that she then blocked out.
I’m so confused. Oh my gosh. because it says best decision we ever made because they paid off her debts and helped her move out, so she was living with them.
Kate Gray: Oh wait. Helped her move out, wait. Paid off her debts and helped her move out. Yeah. Moved out of where? That’s the question.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. It says our relationship with her stayed strained for over a decade.
She passed away in 2014, and since then life has been calm, happy, and drama free. Now we’re planning our 25th wedding anniversary, and this time it won’t be a surprise to anyone. Oh my God. Oh my gosh. That is
Kate Gray: a wild story. Wow. I’m feeling a lot of things about that.
MILs, Feuds & Furry Guests — From the Vault with My MOH Ivette
My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!
When “I do” turns into “I don’t know what to do.” Wild.
From unexpected guest list debates to a mother-in-law meltdown that left everyone speechless, Me and my best friend Ivette dive into the wild world of wedding chaos. This episode is packed with hot takes, emotional moments, and wedding horror stories you won’t believe! Should couples feel obligated to invite family? Is banning kids a crime? And why are so many in-laws acting like it’s THEIR big day?
Listen in as I and my BFF and MOH Ivette spill the tea, share our own experiences, and remind you—it’s YOUR wedding, your rules.
JOIN ME IN GREECE OCTOBER 2026!
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Episode Chapter Markers
00:00 Introduction
15:44 From Acquaintances to Best Friends
19:06 Hot Takes: Kids at Weddings & Wearing White
19:59 Wedding Guest List Drama: Who Stays & Who Goes?
27:15 Wedding Horror Story: The Mother-in-Law Meltdown
32:45 When Wedding Paperwork Goes Wrong
38:10 Wedding Confessions: Bridesmaid Disasters & Petty Payback
43:21 Ending the Drama: Mental Health & Marriage Advice
Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments
- Me and Ivette’s friendship journey—how we met and became inseparable
- Wedding guest list debates: Obligation vs. personal preference
- Mother-in-law horror stories: When family feuds take center stage
- Unpopular wedding opinions: Kids at weddings, guests wearing white, and more
- The pressure of tradition: When “that’s how it’s always been done” doesn’t work for you
- Wedding planning vs. Marriage preparation—what really matters?
- Bridesmaids & boundaries: What’s fair to expect from your wedding party?
- The most shocking wedding confessions submitted by listeners
Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode
- “If you’re wearing white to a wedding and you’re not the bride, you KNOW what you’re doing.” – Christa
- “Cutting someone from your guest list isn’t personal—it’s practical. It’s your day, not a family reunion.” – Christa
- “Traditions are great, but they shouldn’t hold you hostage. Your wedding should feel like YOU.” – Christa
- “Weddings are about celebrating love, not throwing a party to impress people you barely talk to.” – Ivette
- “If you have to choose between keeping the peace and keeping your boundaries—choose YOU.” – Ivette
*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.
About Ivette:
Ivette is not just a special guest—she’s one of my closest friends and the matron of honor from my own wedding. As a supportive friend who has been part of my journey long before Here Comes the Drama was even an idea, Ivette brings warmth, humor, and thoughtful insights to the conversation. With a deep appreciation for meaningful relationships and personal growth, she shares her take on wedding traditions, family dynamics, and setting boundaries in the chaos of wedding planning. Whether reflecting on her own experiences or reacting to jaw-dropping wedding drama, Ivette keeps it real with heart and honesty.
Join the Drama with Christa Innis:
- Website
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- Get Christa’s Book, Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris & Sloan Story
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Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.
Submit your story today: Story Submission Form
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A Team Dklutr Production
Blog Transcript:
Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Christa Innis: Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of, Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis, and if you are listening for the first time, welcome. We are the podcast that dives into the chaos, hilarity, and unforgettable moments when it comes to weddings, events, and beyond. And today’s episode, of course, is packed with some juicy stories and hot takes that you will not wanna miss. Now we’re doing things a little bit different this time, and I’m releasing a never before shared episode with my best friend, Ivette. So a little background to this episode when I first. Plan this podcast out. So the first episode came out of January this year, which is wild to think about. We’re almost a year at this.
I like had a full roster of who I was going to interview or who I was gonna have on the podcast. And of course I wanted my best friend Ivette on there. She was the maid of honor in my own wedding. And so I figured, you know, we’d have a lot of fun stories to share. And so the first time I had her on, we recorded, gosh. It was after our, our kids went to bed we were on Zoom. And so, um, I wanna say it was like nine o’clock at night. So we’re both like tired and we recorded, and I think we’re both just kinda like perfectionist. Where afterwards, she texted me the next day and she was like, do you wanna redo it?
Or like, are you happy with it? And I think I was in my overthinking phase of this is just getting off the ground. Right? And I was like. I mean, we can redo it if you want, but like, let’s do a different story since we already like truly like live reacted to that one. And so recently I was like, I forgot we have that episode. And I was like, I just wanna listen to it. And I listened to it and it’s actually really good and it’s a shocking story. And it’s very real, uh, um, not like they’re normally not, but it’s just like. It’s two tired moms, AKA us, um, chatting and we’re just like doing a real reaction of what the story, and we’re just doing a real reaction.
And so I really liked it and I was like, you know what? I’m gonna share it. So I texted her and I was like, Hey, are you cool if I share this episode? I was there’s some really good insight. And um, it was a lot of fun. And she’s like, yeah, go ahead and share it. So I think we were just both in our stage of like, perfectionism and I was like nervous because I was so new. So when I do play it, which is gonna be in a minute, um, we’re gonna. She’ll be introducing herself and obviously since then I’ve had her on the podcast two different times. So, um, you guys, if you’ve listened, you know her now, but she’ll reintroduce herself then. This was recorded originally either February or March of this year.
So we are here now. Gosh. Eight, nine months later. So just to keep that in mind, a lot has changed since then. The layout of the podcast has changed as well, so I’m gonna play that in a minute. But before I do that. Next week is Thanksgiving. And what would Thanksgiving be if I just didn’t say a little note to you guys of how truly grateful I am for all of you. I mean, this is the most incredible community. I never saw this happening. I mean, when I was on my maternity leave two and a half years ago now, um. I just decided to pick up my phone and do a silly little skit. And you guys thought it was funny. And I remember keeping it a secret for so long because not like I was ashamed of it, but I just didn’t really know where it was gonna go.
And I feel like when you start telling people, you start viewing yourself differently, and I feel like you start acting a certain way. And so, um, I kept it kinda like to myself. Only my husband knew I was gonna do it. And it was this weird little thing. Like once my daughter would go to bed, I would like film in the bathroom. And I was like, what is my life right now? But it’s turned into so much more. It’s turned into this storytelling. It’s allowed me to share. So many stories from people from all over the world. I also am able to create my own stories, which, um, if you guys have been following, following me for a bit, you know, I love creating stories.
That’s what I went to school for. I’ve always loved writing. And so it’s just sparked something in me that I truly enjoy. And so, um, thank you to just like any of you guys for watching, for sharing, for listening on the podcast. No matter where you found me or how you found me, I’m just so grateful that you’re here now. And this is just the beginning. Um, this, because of this platform, I feel like I have the opportunity to share more and to help more and to hopefully make an impact. Um. And by the time this comes out, this might be a little late news, but like, for example, with everything happening with people losing their benefits and with, um, you know, I mean just the world is struggling right now.
So many people are struggling and so I did a. Feeding America fundraiser. Um, earlier last, actually at the end of last week, and in two days we raised $3,000, which was just incredible. And so hopefully, hopefully by the time this comes out, we can even double that. And that’s just a little teaser of like the kind of things I wanna keep doing. I wanna be able to help more people to. Share more ways of, um, impacting others as well. And um, I know I’m kind of going on a tangent now, but it just really means a lot to me, this community. And I don’t really take a time to sit back and just really realize what we’ve got going on here. And so to my, from the bottom of my heart, I just wanna say thank you.
Okay. Now I’m not gonna cry or anything. Let me get into the next segment. Okay. So before I get into, um, the previously recorded episode that no one has ever heard before, um, this is a wedding dilemma. So my brand new segment called Wedding Dilemmas or Wedding 9 1 1, um, is where people are sending me. They DM me, they email me current or past dilemmas. They’re kind of going through and they want just. Other feedback from people they want, honest, maybe unprofessional, um, advice from me. Um, what to do in the situation. So I got a longer one today, so we’re gonna read this one and I’ve not read it entirely. So let’s see what we got. Um, if you have a wedding dilemma of your own, please email me at Christa or.
If you have a wedding dilemma of your own, please email me. hello@christainnis.com with the subject line wedding dilemma and we will get to it. Okay, here is today’s wedding dilemma. So I’ve been a longtime watcher of your TikTok channel, and I’ve actually been engaged for a couple of years, but I was constantly getting met with a lot of apathy and negativity when I first started to try to plan the wedding. Not for my fiance of course. Recently my mom bought my wedding dress, and so we finally started to get the ball rolling. But in doing so and setting the date, everything is getting more real and some people are starting to ask the questions. I’ve been dreading. The main one is who is going to officiate?
That is an interesting question for people to ask because. I don’t think people asked me that unless I’m just forgetting. And that’s also not my first question when I hear someone’s engaged or planning their wedding. Um, it’s a fun question, but I don’t know. Interesting. My dad got ordained a few years ago. Okay. This is why. And he has a officiated, a couple of family weddings so far and he has made it clear in no uncertain terms that he really wants to officiate my wedding. We know how I feel about family or friends coming in and demanding or making hints at being a part of the wedding as a vendor. And yes, an officiant is considered a vendor, right?
Fisht photographer or dj. They’re all vendors. They’re typically contracted and paid. So he’s trying to kind of get in there. I would just worked a wedding where the stepdad was the officiant and it was amazing. It was beautiful, but they asked him to do it. He had never done it before and he was so nervous, but he did a great job, but, and they asked him to do it because he’s so meaningful in their life. Okay. Um, there are multiple reasons. I do not want him to do this. The main reason is I’ve given, the main reason I’ve given is that for that day, I want him just to be the father of the bride and nothing else. I just want my dad. That is, that is all you need. That is a great reason alone. But I get it. If he’s been pushing for this, he might not understand, but like, I wanna do this for you, you know?
Now onto the reasons I don’t say to him. My dad cheated on my mom when I was pretty young and he left us okay this off the bat. Why would you want someone that cheated, especially on your own mother to officiate your wedding? I know I want it. Like that’s just, to me, that’s like a bad omen Don’t you want someone that like really values marriage and relationship and building blocks of moving forward? I mean, at least I do. Um, he had kids with the other woman that he also wasn’t present for. Oh gosh. Because he would leave her and get back together with my mom, and the entire situation was so messy. Oh my gosh. So he’s now screwing up and hurting two families because of his own selfishness. At the end of the day, I don’t want a man who couldn’t respect his marriage to officiate mine.
Yes, I agree with you. Number two, I am Christian, but my fiance is not. And while we are incorporating some Christian symbolism into our vows and our ceremony, we would also like to incorporate other things from his beliefs. I feel like my dad is going to push for an overly Christian ceremony that is gonna make both of us uncomfortable. And here’s the thing too, the hypocrisy, right? So. she’s Christian, so but she sounds very like accepting of like her husband’s not, so she wants to do a little mix of like what both of their beliefs. Right. Which I think is very normal and very wonderful. But for the dad to be like, he cheated in the sanctity of marriage.
He cheated on his wife, got another woman pregnant. Doesn’t father those children or these children, leaves his families constantly, right. He wants to push for this very Christian wedding, and it’s like, okay, okay, what are we doing here? Um, number three, my dad believes in the role of wife, so to speak, and I absolutely hate this particular belief. Mostly just for how it has manifested with my own mom and how he believes I should accept being treated by a partner if I marry someone. So he probably thinks. even though he cheated, his wife should still accept him back because he’s the man. Right. I have been to so many weddings where I’ve heard very sexist language about the role of a woman, and I don’t wanna hear it on my wedding date.
Yeah. I I wouldn’t either. No. That’s something that I, when I was picking, um, an officiant side story, I was gonna have my uncle do it. He married all the cousins in our family. He’s my godfather. But, um, he was actually expecting a baby. Um, so the timing just didn’t work out, which I was so bummed about. But we ended up finding an amazing afic on the Knot. This is not sponsored. I literally just googled one day and the Knot came up and I found this amazing reverend um, Reverend Marsha. Shout out to her ’cause she’s amazing. Um. And one thing that I loved about her was that we had multiple zoom calls. We met in person and we went over the full ceremony detail by detail.
What kind of, what kind of thing are you looking for? Do you want it religious or not? Do you want a mix of religions? Do you want, um, a prayer? Do you want a unity? Like she really customize it for the couple and then before we agreed to it, or before we actually like had our rehearsal, um, she let us view. The prayers that were gonna be read, she had us view how she was gonna open it. Um, and we were able to say take this part out, put this part in. And I think that’s the most beautiful thing about getting married is being able to customize it to you and your partner. Right. So just to kind of like jump the gun a little bit.
Sounds like this Dad was like, this is how it’s gonna be. I’m gonna tell you. How your marriage should be, even though he didn’t live up to his marriage. Um, uh, how it, how even though he didn’t live up to how the sanctity of marriage should be. Right Now, to some of my points, you may say, I need to. Now to some of my points, you may say, I need to just communicate with my dad that I don’t wanna hear that type of language, or just communicate on one type of ceremony I wanna have. But he’s incredibly condescending and dismissive when my point of view opposes his.
Ooh. To be frank, I’m concerned that because this is so important to him, it’s going to have ripple effects into our relationship. It took us years to get to a good place Again, I have considered letting him do the ceremony just because I know how important it’s to him, but at the end of the day, it feels like I’m constantly sacrificing my happiness and my comfort so the other people can feel special and seen. I want to feel seen on this one day. Okay. You know exactly what you want and you know exactly what you need to do. And I’m gonna tell you based on what you just told me, right? You can’t have your dad officiate your wedding. Plain and simple. He’s not going to follow what you tell him to. He’s gonna put his own beliefs in there about.
Your role as the wife, you are gonna have this built up resentment because of how he treated your family, specifically your mom and you kids that he doesn’t talk to. I don’t know if you have siblings, why start your marriage off with your partner with someone that did not respect their own marriage? Right. And I think this is the time where you really need to put your foot down. And yes, communicate with him. Absolutely. But just tell him again and be firm. I want you there as my dad and my dad. Only you can walk me down the aisle. We’ve actually already found Blink to officiate the wedding and leave it simple.
If he asks questions, you can give him some details. Um, if he seems like he’s going to try to do something or grab a mic, or make a speech or take over the ceremony, you need to be very clear that if he does not do this, he will be asked to leave. And that might seem harsh to some people listening, but now I’ve heard so many stories where people do this kind of thing. If they’re not given the position they want, or they’re not allowed to be photographer, they’re not allowed to do this, then Oh, I’m not coming, or you’ll regret it. But I truly, truly believe based on everything you’re telling me and how your relationship is with your father and how you’ve had to work back up to this spot, you will regret having him officiate your wedding.
There are certain things that yes, over time you can rebuild, but the fact that he’s dismissive, still condescending to you and you’ve seen him speak at weddings before where he’s very sexist. I think all signs point to no. So you gotta be firm. If you need someone behind you, obviously your partner is gonna be behind you.
Um, I don’t know his relationship with your mom currently. Um, it sounds like he kind of goes back and forth so. She needs to be on your side as well. Um, get everybody on your side and in the meantime, find someone that you guys both agree on should officiate your wedding and get on the same page. And that point, he can’t fill the role if it’s already been filled. So I hope that helps. I hope that was considered some good advice, but I just, like, I read through it and I’m just like, no, everything you’re saying. He tells me he should not officiate your wedding. You truly deserve to have the best day, feel seen and have a ceremony that really represents you and your partner in the best way.
So I wish you the best of luck and I hope it goes well. And please send us updates. I would love to hear updates and um, hope everything goes well. All right guys. Now as I said, we are going to play, um, my previously recorded episode never before shared with my best friend and maid of honor, Ivette. So without further ado, please enjoy I.
Christa Innis: Welcome back to another episode of here comes the drama. I’m so excited. I’m just going to dive right in because one of my very best friends and was the actual maid of honor in my own wedding, my good friend, Ivette, welcome to the show.
Ivette: Hi, thanks for having me. I’m excited to be here. I’ve never done a podcast before, so I’m excited.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I knew like right away when this podcast was coming out that I wanted you to be a part of it in some way. guys like Ivette is just like. The kindest person. She’s like, we can go on and on about like how we met and all that stuff. But like, basically, our husbands have been best friends for a while.
So we met through them. But, she has been one of the most supportive and I don’t want to start crying. It’s an emotional day, guys. But, she’s just been one of the most supportive friends I could ever ask for. And so, here we go!
Ivette: Christa, when don’t you cry? I
Christa Innis: know! I was just telling someone, it was a joke at my wedding, that, like, in your speech, and Matt, who is Ivette’s husband, Both talked about how I cry all the time.
Yes. And it’s like not always sad stuff. It’s like happy stuff. It’s like I’m grateful listening to Taylor Swift, you know, whatever. but no, Ivette’s such a supportive friend. And so I knew that when this podcast was coming out that I wanted you to be a part of it. So, I’ll stop the tears. Ivette, if you want to do like a little intro of like who you are and then we’ll dive into this crazy, drama.
Ivette: yeah, so I’m Ivette. something fun about me, I don’t really, yeah, I guess, I just met Christa through my husband, who’s best friends with her husband, and it was kind of like a crazy journey because, I had like known, we’ve known each other, but we never really like hit it off. I think it was just, it wasn’t our time.
And then my husband and I were getting married. and Christa was just, again, so supportive, so kind. I think that when you always, like when anyone gets to know you, you always are so warm and welcoming and you always see people. that are like left out in the corner and again, I’m talking about you, right?
But, I’m just so grateful to be your friend. So if I were to introduce myself, I am your friend. I’m someone that has been cheering you on and that, has heard about this podcast. Probably like five years ago before it was even a thing before you even started any of it. so I’ve been hearing about, different titles and, different ways that you wanted to start this.
And yeah, I’m just so proud of you. and being a part of just one episode means a lot. So,
Christa Innis: well, I’m proud of you. I remember you’re talking about like your, wedding. And so at that point when Ivette was like planning her wedding, like, I think it was Matt. Matt might have still been living with us. I’m not even sure at that point, but no, at that point.
Ivette: You guys are like our wedding in the city or when we lived in the city. We lived in the city when we got married,
Christa Innis: right? Okay. Yes. Yeah. And, but I remember like asking, like, we were just talking about your wedding planning and stuff and we were not like super close friends. We were more like acquaintances.
We would see each other at things and we were obviously always friendly. But I remember specifically like asking you like, Oh, what are your, like, what are you doing for your wedding colors? what are your bridesmaids dress? Like just asking questions and then like. Before I knew it, like, I ended up just being, like, a part of your wedding stuff.
I wasn’t in the wedding, but, like, there the night before, like, we hung out, and, like, I just
Ivette: Yeah. And I always say like, you should have been a part of my wedding because you did so much for my wedding. Like, you just have that natural gift to like, want to help people or be there for people.
And looking back at it, like we were starting to be close friends at that point it felt like. And I feel like that brought us even closer together. but even that night, I just remember like, you should stay with all my bridesmaids. Like you’ve been a part of the process, just like be with me kind of thing. And so it was, yeah, really good to have you.
Christa Innis: Yeah, and then it was like we got closer and then when Zach and I started, when we got engaged, I was like, hands down, like, Ivette’s gonna be my maid of honor, or matron of honor, as I guess it’s technically called, but, okay. enough of Cause guys, we can like, Ivette and I could talk for hours and just like, keep going.
So I’ll kind of like forget that it’s being recorded. okay. Let’s jump in to, I always like to start with crazy stories and wedding hot takes. I know we were kind of talking about that before we started. So do you have any like crazy stories that come right off the bat and not to put you on the spot, kind of talk through some wedding hot takes as well.
Ivette: I don’t know if I, I honestly haven’t been, Like in as many weddings as you have, I feel like you were like 27 dresses kind of situation. Like you’ve had so many bridesmaids dresses. I haven’t had any like wild stories. I’ve had some fun bachelorette parties. but that’s really it. Nothing other than one too crazy. So,
Christa Innis: yeah, yeah, no, definitely. And I feel like too, it It seems like so long ago and we were like all in like, I feel like there was just wedding, wedding, wedding, wedding, wedding for a while and then there kind of been some pause and I’ve been like babies, you know, all that stuff.
So, okay, so let’s get into some hot takes. So these are hot takes that people sent in. And so let’s kind of react to them and see what we think. So the first one says couples should stick to a traditional guest list Or is it okay to make bold cuts for budget or personal reasons? So I share first. Sure. Yeah.
Wedding Guest List Dilemmas & Setting Boundaries
Ivette: here’s the thing. I come from a really, really big family and I am someone who’s been trying to break cycles and I think that family is a good thing when it’s people that reach out to you when it’s people that show that they care about you and want to engage with you and have been a process from the beginning, maybe even halfway.
But if it’s someone that feels entitled to be a part of your big day, just because. I’m like, cut them out. If it’s unhealthy, like, I don’t want you a part of it.there’s a part of me that wants to follow tradition. but also traditions can get us into trouble and can get us into cycles. And, unhealthy relationships. And I’m not about that. So.
Christa Innis: Yeah, just saying the yes just because they’re a family member or somehow related or they were your neighbor growing up. Like, we need to, I feel like, evaluate each relationship and how, not necessarily how they serve us, but how we’ve, like, served each other. It might be, like, both ends of it, because I feel like a lot of times when I share stories, people are like, Oh, well, that bride is, entitled. And it’s like, we have to look at it from both angles. Like, have they reached out to each other in the past couple of years? Or has that person ever asked about the bride’s life? Or, you know, that kind of thing. It’s, important.
Ivette: Yeah, and I even think, like, I didn’t have any kids at my wedding, unless it was, like, People that were in the party, like the brides, my bridesmaids or the groomsmen and it was like their kids, that kind of thing. That’s okay. But for me, it’s okay to be like, Hey, no kids, because I don’t want to be worried about kids at my wedding.
You know what I mean? I don’t want them to like take away. And that’s not to say that like, Oh, I’m being like a bridezilla, but it’s more like it’s my day. And I get to be there with all the people that I love. And I really want to like, enjoy that,
Christa Innis: yeah, I think kids is always like a really hot topic because everyone’s like really strongly opinionated and I was like to remind people that you can be as opinionated as you want for your own money, you know, because it’s not up to us to dictate how someone else does their own day or like what their relationship is like some people want it.
Every single person to bring all their kids and add 50 people to the guest list and other people are like, you know what? I’m gonna invite just like immediate family kids or you know, whatever. So that’s so important I think it would definitely I would say this to Zach I feel like it’d be a lot harder now like now getting married with like having so many close friends and their kids because Back when, like, I got married and you got married, like, a lot of us didn’t have kids yet.
And so it was a lot easier to be like, okay, like, we can make a cut here because, you know, there aren’t a lot yet. Yeah. I feel like this is like an obvious one, but do you think it’s okay for guests to wear white to a wedding?
Ivette: No.
Christa Innis: If the couple doesn’t explicitly say not to. No.
Ivette: No, like, you cannot wear white.
I think, I have sweet friends that are like, Oh, it’s fine. It’s not a big deal. But if I were a guest at their wedding and somebody else is wearing white, I’d be like, You need to go change. Like, go change. This is her day. That’s not okay. Yeah. that part of the tradition. I’m like, that needs to stay.
Christa Innis: yeah, unless it says this is a black and white tie affair or whatever, which even then, I think I would still pick a black dress.
Ivette: Absolutely. Like,
Christa Innis: I would just feel very, very odd to wear a white gown to someone else’s wedding. yeah, I feel like that’s one of those things where I feel like if you are wearing a white dress to someone’s wedding, you know what you’re doing.
Ivette: You want the attention on you.
Christa Innis: Yeah, you can’t claim ignorance. During the pot. Yeah. Okay. Jumping into a fun segment. Pick a side wedding drama debates. Okay. So these are a couple of things that people also have shared on Instagram. we’re going to kind of call unpopular opinions, but sometimes I read them and I’m like, I agree with you.
Okay. If a parent helps pay for the wedding, they don’t have as much say because it still is not their wedding. I agree.
Ivette: you don’t have to pay for the wedding, like that, you’re gifting that, so I think it’s their wedding, you gift it, it’s not like I’m gonna gift you a t shirt and I’m gonna say like, this is where you can wear it, you can’t wear it here, you can only wear it with these people, so I look at it the same way, it’s a gift and that’s it, and they can spend it how they’d like.
Christa Innis: Yeah, that is a great point about a t shirt. I tried sharing a similar analogy like that online one time and I would say like half people got half in it because I think people are so stuck on. Well, if I’m giving that much money, I better like be there making decision. It’s like you can be involved as much as a bride and groom wants, but you cannot go over their head or have strings attached to every little thing for sure. this can be like kind of a hot take. People are more worried about the party than what it means to get married and have a marriage.
Ivette: Unfortunately, I’m going to say yeah, like I tried really hard for my wedding to vocalize it and in my speech, I really wanted to make it a point like, hey, thank you all for being here, because this is the start of our marriage. And you guys are here, not to party with us yes it was a party, but like to witness this, and the people in our wedding party, including you. I feel like I’ve been invited to be a part of my marriage and like support us when we’re struggling, when we’re having a good time to like celebrate the highs and like hold us in the lows.
And so I think unfortunately, from a larger perspective, it is all about the party and like following the trends and like showing, I don’t know, just like having the most beautiful wedding and the most beautiful dress, but I have been so encouraged. I’ve been with. My really good friends who are, are not, all like that. They’re not like that. And it’s really, they’re laid back and they’re just so happy to be married to the love of their life, and I think that’s what it really needs to be about.
Christa Innis: yeah, I think it’s a really good indication, like, when we see lot of the celebrity weddings, and they spend, like, sometimes a million.
I think I just saw, like, Kim Kardashian spent, like, 11 million at the wedding with, like, Chris Humphrey? I’m not very For some for you. Attuned to those things. Yeah. Okay. So you’re more Taylor Swift. I’m more Taylor Swift. Yeah. Taylor Swift. but yeah, so they spent like 11 million and people think like, Oh, it’s this amazing wedding.
They put all this money in, but it didn’t last long. And so I think people need to remember like, yes, it’s a great time to celebrate with friends and family, but, we should be worried, not worried, but like more focused on is what’s to come. What’s down the line. Because if it’s all about show and, the big day, then we’re kind of losing that a little bit.
Ivette: Yeah, I agree 100%.
The Mother-in-Law Wedding Disaster
Christa Innis: Yeah. Okay, so I want to jump in because I know we don’t have a ton of time. So I want to jump in and read, this week’s story. so we’ll just kind of read it and then we’ll react as it goes. she says, or they say, because I don’t know what it is. Okay. Hi, I’ll try to make it shorter, but there is a lot of drama. My mother in law and sister in law showed up late to my wedding, missing most of the pictures, only taking ones with my husband. My sister in law brought her dog to the wedding, not a service animal, and inside the church. Late on the pews and in the reception hall around the food, there was a minor issue with the food being put out by the church attendants that turned into the little old church ladies yelling at my mom and making her cry.
All she was going to do was get the food out for my guests. Okay, already we’re off to a rough start. Yikes.
Ivette: Yikes.
Christa Innis: my mother in law witnessed this and tried apologizing to the church ladies, telling them their family is trash and I wish my son never married her. Oh, that’s bad. That is bad. My sister walked in on the convo and my mother in law stuck her finger into my sister’s chest saying, you’re the worst of them.
I can’t let this happen at someone’s wedding. We then had to kick my mother in law out of the wedding. After yelling at multiple people, she stayed outside the event, throwing a fit, and telling anyone who listened to her that we were terrible people. She somehow got back into the wedding reception as the mother and son dance was announced. Why, I would be like running to the DJ being like, we’re not doing that dance anymore.
Ivette: Like, yeah, no, you’re out. I just want to know like what the husband did. Like, what did he do?
Christa Innis: That’s my thought. I feel like so many times in these stories, like, The bride submits it to me or like someone in the wedding party.
And we don’t hear anything about what the groom was doing or like where he was. But I feel like that should be the like, not tiebreaker, but the person being like, okay. We need you to calm down, mom.
Ivette: Yeah, like, where is he, what is he doing to support his new wife? Like, the red flags, red flags already.
Christa Innis: Like, come on. Yes, especially like this mother and son dance. Why is that still happening if she was kicked out? Yeah. She must, I feel like she like, went and was like, ready for it somehow. Like, went in back door.let’s see. It says, my husband did the dance with her. But all of the pictures show my husband’s mad face with her. So, okay, so he was mad, but he still did this dance with her.
Ivette: It’s so hard. Like, okay, it’s hard because, okay, I put myself in his shoes. It’s like, am I going to regret not having the dance with my mother? Okay. Like I get that. But also like his mom just made his life so complicated because now he has to like, in a sense, choose between his.
New family, his family now, his wife, his family and his mother and that you as a parent, you shouldn’t want to do that for your son, yeah, I feel like, okay, maybe you aren’t,like happy with this choice. And maybe it’s not like your first choice, but that’s on him and for you to do that and like ruin their wedding if my mother in law did that to me, I. Would not be talking to her and my husband supported her or like didn’t stand up for me and my family That would be very concerning.
Christa Innis: Yeah, and it’s an odd thing where you do hear a lot It happens more with Boy moms, where it’s like my son, like you’re taking my son away from me and it seems very dramatic and a lot of the skits I do but so many comments are like this happened to me, this was my reality until we cut her off or something like that and I’m like I can’t even imagine because like I have an amazing mother in law too, it’s like I could never imagine her treating me that way and but when you hear these stories you’re like what is it that makes them so cool.
I don’t know. Is it a jealousy thing? Is it like losing time with their son? getting older. They’re going to miss out. but ultimately they’re just pushing their son further away. Absolutely. I don’t
Ivette: know what it is. Like I only have girls, like, I can’t picture what it would be like to be a boy mom and then have to like let go of my son.
I feel like, I would want to do like girl talk with my daughter in law and like, Do girl stuff with her. So it’s just, strange to me to think.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I don’t know. Yeah, that’s, my thought too. And it’s like, growing your family or adding into your family.
I feel like to some of the stories that I read, it’s like they have these high expectations of who their future daughter in law should be. So if they don’t fit this picture perfect idea of what they envisioned or who they envisioned their son with, they’re going to find something wrong with them. Maybe they’re really close to their mom and, you know, they don’t like the connection or the relationship they see, then there might be, some issue there, but I don’t know.
Ivette: I also, think you, I think this might be what you’re getting at, or you mentioned it before. It’s like, they’re stealing him away, or like, Now all the maybe they spent a lot of time together or something like that Is that we were trying to get out and now it’s like no now, it’s like, okay now she’s a new priority And definitely jealousy.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah, this is crazy I also can’t imagine being left with so many like terrible memories of your wedding being like looking at pictures and being like oh, I remember when this happened like this is terrible like I was like to remind people is like We read these crazy stories that happen, but most of the time.
Drama does not happen, like I said, at weddings, and most of the time you won’t even know if they do happen. but when they do happen like this, people talk about them and share them because they’re like, this is outrageous. So, and not, like, not to scare people away. okay, it ends with, she then left.
Two days later, we met up at a restaurant To talk where she freaked out calling me a drunk B word because I walked around with a bottle of wine for other people and then she stormed out of the restaurant to make matters worse. Our wedding paperwork was not stamped by the county, so we were not legally married until two weeks after this, and then we had to go back and do it again with just a small group. Wait, I thought you have to then do it again.
Ivette: Well, you have like a certain amount of time to like sign the paperwork because If I remember correctly, like they give, like whenever they perform marriage ceremony, you’re not, always like signing the paperwork, right. You’re not actually getting married.
And so a lot of people like, don’t realize that I’m like, oh, we’re not actually married. So if you don’t do it. Maybe it’s like 48 or 24. I’m not sure this is wrong. by a certain time, you’re not legally married. So then, yeah, you would have to do it again. So couldn’t they have just gone to the courthouse and signed it though? They could have. I’m just, maybe they wanted, their family members to be there.
Christa Innis: Interesting. Yeah, that’s like, that is interesting because I just heard, no, where was it? I saw a video of a girl talking about they were supposed to like do all the paperwork for like their wedding coming up and their husband didn’t file the paperwork so they couldn’t get their marriage license.
And I was like, Oh my gosh, like that was something my reverend, I want to say my reverend was like, really like adamant. She’s like, don’t forget to do this. Like you need to do this this weekend. She sent me like a timeline because other than otherwise I would not have known to do that. Like,
Ivette: I mean, I didn’t even know you had to get a marriage license.
And then when you got it, I also didn’t know that it’s only good for a certain amount of time. And I didn’t know that it was like for specific County, which is crazy. Like, I didn’t know any of this. You know, I’ve never been married before. And then, did you know that some people have to get, like, their blood work done? Or, like, yeah, they have to make sure, like, for smaller towns. They used to do this, here in Illinois. They had to make sure that you weren’t somehow related, to each other. So you had to go to, like, a doctor. Improve. Yes. we should look that up. We should look that up.
Christa Innis: We should look that up. I’m gonna look that up.
Wait, I literally just started Googling, did you have to get a blood test? And I literally just had to get married. See, it goes. No, you don’t wait. Most no longer require it. But in the late eight nineteen thirties states began revolting blood tests
Ivette: for
Christa Innis: syphilis to
Ivette: show that applicants were not contagious.
Oh, that’s what it is. I thought it was what they weren’t. Okay,
Christa Innis: but certain states it was with like within the last 25 years, they stopped doing it. So some probably kept it longer. Maybe that’s because there was like such an issue. Like people find out years later, like, Oh, actually married my cousin or something. The
Ivette: real, yeah. reason why I know is because my mother in law was telling me when we were getting married, she’s like, Oh, you’re lucky.
You don’t have to like get all the blood work done. I was like, what are you talking about? So yeah, that’s what I found out. So she had to do it when she
Christa Innis: had to do
Ivette: it.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. And she probably got married in what the eighties. Yes. So that’s not that long ago. Yeah. No. Well, I guess the eighties are going on 40 years ago.
Wait, is that 40 years ago? That’s over years ago. Yes.
Ivette: I see. I think it’s the eighties, like 20 years ago.
Breaking Wedding Traditions: When Family Won’t Let Go
Christa Innis: Me too. I’m just a baby. I’m like a teenager still. I know. I know. I know. I know. Like what? that would be something actually kind of cool to look at for like future episodes to see like traditions that have changed because that’s the thing too.
I think people are so stuck on traditions when it comes to weddings. And we need to remember, like, times have changed. Like, people get offended when I post about people having private vows. They’re like, well, why even have a wedding? And it’s like, everyone has their own reasons for wanting to do things differently.
Or one girl was posting saying her family told her that her wedding didn’t count because she didn’t want to walk down the aisle by herself. So her husband actually grabbed her at the beginning and they walked together like kind of you and yeah And she was like my whole family said it wasn’t me actually getting married because it wasn’t traditional But I feel like you like let go of some of those traditions I think traditions are beautiful but we also need to look at them and be like does this make sense for me or am I comfortable with this and understand that times have changed.
Ivette: Yeah, that makes so much sense. my grandfather, he passed away now, but, I remember my mom telling me after I got married, she’s like, your grandpa was like, what is this? Like, why aren’t we at a church? My family’s Roman Catholic. And they’re really big into Catholicism. I’m not Catholic. And so I still had, different aspects or different.
part of like religion and at my wedding, but I didn’t want to add a big church because it didn’t feel right to me and my heart was like, you guys aren’t even like married because you guys aren’t married before God. I was like, okay.
Christa Innis: Yeah. And it’s like some of those things you just have to like take and just like, let it roll off your back.
It’s like one of those, it’s not worth. Explaining. But yeah, I remember that, too, growing up, in the Catholic Church. It was like, it only, counts here, but it’s like, there’s so many different ways of doing it. And actually, and this is something I haven’t really fully looked into, but the Reverend at my wedding, she does, like, multiple, denominations of, like, Christian weddings or even, like, non Christian weddings.
And, my friend who still practices Catholicism, she did their wedding. But I wonder if that’s even like recognized by the Catholic Church because it’s not a priest. But I don’t know. I haven’t looked into that. So,
Ivette: which is interesting because then like moving on into your life, like if you want to have.
Like kids or have them, like do the first communion or not to get into religion, but then it’s like, wait, were you married in the church? You know what I mean? It’s very interesting.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. A lot of different. Little things to consider, but yeah, these stories just never, never seemed to shock me. I just feel like, I don’t know.
So I know we don’t have much time I don’t want to take up too much more of your time, but I want to end it with our weekly confessions game. I’m still kind of figuring out how I’m like going to do this, but like people are sending me their confessions and I was having people rate it, but I don’t know if that really makes sense.
So we’re just going to read them. Okay. And react to like, your thoughts on it. This person said my bridesmaid from another state didn’t even bother to show up to anything. Just the wedding. Okay.
The MIA Bridesmaid: Flaky or Just Setting Boundaries?
So when I read that. I have like a more questions and it’s not like in a judgmental way, I was one time I had questions for the bride and everyone’s like, don’t judge her. But I was like, I’m just wondering, like, the bridesmaid say she was coming to these things and then just not show up?
Or when you asked her to be a bridesmaid, she was like, I’ll let you know if I can make it to certain things. Like maybe she has kids or she has got multiple jobs and then just couldn’t come to a bachelorette party or couldn’t come to a shower And I think you were the same way, but like, when it came to my wedding, I told my bridesmaids, I was like, you know what, like, here’s the dresses, like pick your style.
If you can’t come to the shower, it’s okay. If you can’t come to the bachelorette party, it’s okay. In fact, I had two people not come to the bachelorette party and I think someone couldn’t make it to the shower. But to me, that wasn’t like high priority. It was like, you know what? I want you by my side at the wedding day.
So I don’t know what your takes are on that. I agree.
Ivette: I agree a hundred percent. Like I said, the other stuff is kind of like the fluff, right? Like, yes, you want them to be a part of like the journey and stuff, but they’ve been a part of your journey. Like that’s why they’re a part of your party, your wedding party.
and actually in my wedding, same thing. I had somebody come just for the wedding. And then they left and I didn’t even see them. I didn’t get to spend much time with them, but it meant so much to me that she would even like agree to be a part, of it and be a witness. To like my story with my husband.
So yeah.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I think that goes back to communication is so important when you’re a bride and you’re expecting things of other people. There’s gonna be brides that like want things like this and like everyone must be in attendance where these kind of outfits and I’ve never been a part of a wedding like that.
I’ve just heard of them. so I think it’s good to be upfront and clear if you want something like that. Now, if it’s the bridesmaid saying she’s gonna come to all these things and then just bails last minute, then yeah, that’s a problem on the bridesmaid, because that’s just kind of a flaky person.
Ivette: I have a problem with like people saying that they’re gonna come and like be there. And yeah, they come, but they’re not present. I don’t know how to, like, explain that in a better way. that’s just
Christa Innis: hard
Ivette: for me.
Christa Innis: More like they’re checking a box and not actually, like Yes. A part of it.
Yes, that’s hard. Like if you were to invite someone and they were on their phone the whole time. Or sitting in the corner, not actually engaging. Yes. Yeah, then you’re like, why did you even You’re just a body right now. Right, . right. Yeah, no, I totally agree with that. okay. Anytime I post about my wedding, I purposely don’t include photos of my mother in law.
Is this next confession?
Ivette: Okay.I don’t really know what to say. Okay. I feel like obviously there isn’t a good relationship with your mother in law. are you doing this on purpose because you know that your mother in law is going to see the post and not see herself? Like, are you doing this out of malice or, are you doing it because she hurt you?
And also I want to know, like, what do you bring to the table? Because, relationships are a two way street. So, like, is this just on her? It could be. But do you have faults in it? It could also be.
Christa Innis: Yeah, and I want to say too, like, I’ve seen on the other side, like, a friend of mine, I’m not going to give too many details because I know she’s probably listening, and I don’t want to, like, give it away, but, she had, like, kind of, like, I wouldn’t say terrible relationship with her mother in law, it was just kind of, like, they butted heads here and there, and they just did not agree on a lot of stuff, and one day she, like, looked inside herself, And then they like, they literally like had conversations and I asked her recently and she’s like, things are amazing.
Things are great. And I think sometimes we like, hold on me. No, we love no, yeah, definitely not you. but She was like, things are so great, and like, she’s like, it was just like a communication thing, and I think it’s also we put our own guards up, like if, or if we see one thing that’s kind of like, weird, then we kind of are like, I don’t know, then constantly have a guard up, or like little things that irk us, but she’s like, no, things have been amazing, and so like, I think there’s always a chance, but.
Oh,
Ivette: that’s good, yeah.
Christa Innis: But this definitely says there’s some kind of animosity between the two of them, for sure. Yeah. okay, last one before we’ll close off. I know you gotta head out. okay, sister in law called off wedding planning to elope, told us to bring food to share at a potluck reception.
I feel like I have more questions, too. only get so much. But, was there a date set and we were gonna do this whole wedding and then she was like, Hey. We’re actually just going to elope, bring some food and that’s it.
Ivette: I want to know like how much in advance, like, what was the notice like?
Like, did everyone already have their rides made, dresses, or you know what I mean? Like, did everyone have all the stuff, all the foo foo, or like paper, hair and makeup already? Cause I think that would be upsetting to me, like knowing that I’ve invested so much. but also. Like, if that’s what you want to do, like, good for you, like, that sounds fun.
And if, I support that if you’re doing it in a way that’s being respectful to the people that are in your wedding.
Christa Innis: Absolutely. Like if you started playing and you’re like, this is too much for me, let’s elope. That seems more my style. Do you grow? Like I’m all about that because so many people regret their wedding.
I think when they don’t do what is true to them and their spouse. whether it’s they went big and they wanted to go small or they went small and they wanted to go big. There’s so many opinions. So just like tune it all out and do what works for you. well, I want to thank you so much for coming on.
I feel, I feel so weird being like formal with you because like not how we talk. But I try to like be like as loosey goosey as possible. But I know we didn’t really get too much into like you personally and what you personally do. But is there anything like I don’t know, cool or funny you want to share that you’re working on, or like a little bit more about you and then, I don’t
Ivette: know.
Yeah,
Christa Innis: I mean
Ivette: for me, I’m all about working with people and mental health. So I just encourage couples that like want to get married to be honest with yourself, be honest with your spouse, like set yourself up for success and ask really hard questions now because you don’t want to go into marriage and have to ask yourself these questions. your first year, second year, you don’t go to university without first having read the reviews and learning about the programs. You don’t get a job without understanding the salary with the hours of life. And this is like the biggest decision of your life. So, prepare, get ready for the test.
You know, you should be studying, you should be learning each other. and yeah, that’s, really my encouragement. And then another thing that I want to say is if you’re pointing your finger at your partner, Look in the mirror first, right? Like, let’s see what we can offer. Let’s see, maybe areas that we can work on.
And so, yeah, I’m all about mental health and making our relationship work, but in reality, we can’t change others. We can only change ourselves. So.
Christa Innis: I need like wise words from Ivette like probably like every week because there’s so many times and I was just saying this to Ivette before we like caught on I feel like there’s always some kind of like mental break I’m having whenever I like we’re like getting together and I’m like panicking over something and I’m like why does this always happen and she’s like I’m your safe space
Ivette: and I’m like I’m safe.
People come to me because you know what, if you tell me like your lowest, I’m going to up you and tell you something lower about myself to make you feel good about yourself and make you see that, we’re all human. We can all grow.
Christa Innis: Yeah. we’re going to work on a regular segment guys.
Yeah. Well, thanks for having me. Thank you so much for coming on. I know you’re,busy woman. You’re a mom of two. So are you. You’re in school, you’re working, you’re doing your thing. I’m so proud of you and, Thanks so much. Yeah, of course.
Money Fights, Fake Promises, and a Forgetful DJ with Cassie Horrell
What do you do when your DJ forgets the first dance and narrates the cake cutting like it’s a football game?
Christa and Cassie are back with some jaw-dropping stories from the wedding trenches! This episode dives into vendor red flags, social media pressure, and one mother-in-law so toxic, the entire wedding had a shocking surprise! From aisle music glitches to guest list drama, it’s a cautionary tale and a comedy of errors.
Plus: how to stand firm when everyone has an opinion, why comparison will kill your joy, and what to do when your wedding no longer feels like your own.
Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month!
Episode Chapter Markers
00:00 Introduction
01:13 Cassie’s Wedding Workload + Book Update
03:40 DJ Disaster Story #1: The Forgotten First Dance
07:01 Cringe Cake Cutting Narration
08:37 DJ Regret and Trust Issues
10:04 Ghost Music and the Silent Aisle Walk
12:04 Wedding Hot Takes: Cash vs. Gifts
14:37 Guest List Pressure from Parents
16:47 Story Submission: MIL Manipulation and Wedding Fallout
25:59 The Fallout: Family, Boundaries, and Breakdowns
30:05 The Driving Analogy: Staying True to Your Vision
34:14 Comparison Culture and Social Media Pressure
Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments
- The DJ Debacle – Cassie shares an awkward, cringey moment where a DJ forgot the first dance… then asked the couple for the song in front of their guests.
- Narrating the Cake Cutting?! – When a DJ goes full sportscaster, it’s not the vibe—Christa and Cassie relive a moment that made the whole room cringe.
- MIL Drama That Killed the Wedding – A real listener story: secret recordings, family feuds, and a mom who refused to take responsibility.
- Ghosted by the Music – Another wedding, another music fail—this time with a mysteriously silent aisle walk that left the bride shaken.
- Hot Takes on Money Gifts – Cassie dishes on how to tastefully ask for cash… and when it crosses the line into tacky.
- Guest List Politics – From never-met relatives to social media expectations, they unpack why couples feel pressure to include people they barely know.
- The Comparison Trap – Pinterest weddings vs. reality: why chasing a $300K wedding aesthetic will only break your spirit—and budget.
- Elopement vs. Expectations – When family opinions derail your plans, Christa and Cassie talk about how to take the wheel back.
Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode
- “We call them ghosts—because sometimes music just stops.” – Cassie Horrell
- “The DJ had the timeline in front of him and still forgot everything.” – Cassie Horrell
- “He narrated the cake cutting like it was a sports event—I wanted to disappear.” – Cassie Horrell
- “Some people can’t silently support—they need to insert themselves.” – Cassie Horrell
- “Weddings don’t break families. They reveal the cracks that were already there.” – Cassie Horrell
- “If you’re more excited to post your wedding than live it—that’s the red flag.” – Christa Innis
- “She expected everyone to forget what she did—like it never happened.” – Christa Innis
- “You have to kick people out of the car and drive your own wedding.” – Christa Innis
- “This wasn’t about a honeymoon. It was about control.” – Christa Innis
- “Comparison culture is the silent killer of joyful weddings.” – Christa Innis
About Cassie
Cassie Horrell is a seasoned wedding planner and event coordinator known for her ability to handle even the most unpredictable wedding day chaos with humor and grace. With years of experience in the industry, Cassie has seen it all—from heartwarming moments to jaw-dropping disasters—and she’s not afraid to spill the tea. She’s passionate about helping couples navigate the stress of wedding planning, set boundaries with overbearing family members, and create a day that feels authentically theirs. Whether it’s dodging last-minute guest list surprises or dealing with wedding etiquette debates, Cassie brings expertise, real talk, and a whole lot of laughs.
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Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.
Submit your story today: Story Submission Form
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A Team Dklutr Production
Blog Transcript:
Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Christa Innis: Hi, Cassie. Welcome back to the show.
Cassie Horrell: Thank you for having me. I’m so excited.
Christa Innis: I felt like such an announcer when I said that. Welcome back to the show. I was just saying before I started recording, so many people, like all the time in the comments are like, we need a Cassie and Christa collab. Like they just loved seeing you on the episode.
And so it’s always fun to connect and I feel like we had a great time hanging out last time.
Cassie Horrell: Yes, we did. And I feel like we have similar audiences, so people are like rooting for us to do a collab and I’m like,
Christa Innis: here we are. Yes, here it is. I know. So I was like, you know what? We gotta have you come back on and like talk some more wedding stuff.
’cause your story last time, still, it was funny, it was one of those where like I always like listen them back through, obviously before they go out and I was still like, cracking up. and I had my husband listen and he was like, dying at the story. He’s like, that’s not where I thought the story was gonna go.
Cassie Horrell: No, it was a, heartwarming but unexpected grandma.
Christa Innis: Yes. Oh my gosh. I love it. yeah, for anyone that has not listened to the other episode with Cassie, please go back and listen to that one. That was episode 10. it’s a good one for sure. So before we get into it, can you just reintroduce yourself or anyone that didn’t hear the last episode or just.
Doesn’t know about you yet. Yeah,
Cassie Horrell: my name’s Cassie. Most of the internet knows me as Wedding Pro casts. I’ve been in the industry for about 12 years now. doing all things wedding. I’ve worked in probably every capacity of a wedding from venue side to planning to luxury catering, so I got to see a lot behind the scenes and helped couples plan an all.
Different cultures and budget levels, which is amazing. currently I’m the director of events at the History Center in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I own a mobile bar, clink 92, that serves weddings in Ohio and Pennsylvania. And then I also do personal planning, where I have clients all over the world.
Planning their weddings and then I assist them virtually as well with, virtual support, one-on-one consultation. So I live, eat, breathe weddings.
Christa Innis: Yeah, you are busy. I’m like tired. Just hearing all of that. Gosh. So, and last time we talked too, you were writing some children’s books too, like what’s the update on that?
Yes. So they have
Cassie Horrell: been written, they have been illustrated and I’m just figuring out how I want to launch them. I mean, you’re in a book launch as well, so the process is fun and you have to navigate like the ups and downs. To me, I just wanna make sure when I bring it forward and I launch it, that it’s exactly what I want, so.
I’ve asked my nieces to illustrate some of the books, so kind of getting those parts in with the other illustrator I work with. It will all come together and I’m hoping June is when these will be out and ready to go. but I’ll definitely share more once I know.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh, awesome. I was just telling my husband about that too.
’cause I was like, that is such a cool, book idea too. ’cause I feel like when we were asking our nieces and nephews to be in the wedding, like there were some stuff out there, but I love the idea of a book and that’s such a cute way, especially encouraging them to read and like, I feel like there’s just, it’s a good memento too.
Cassie Horrell: Yes, and I think it’s the mom in me I have a three-year-old, so he’s always reading books and to me, I’m like, I definitely wanna write a children’s book. It’s always been on my bucket list, so why not combine something I’m passionate with? I.
the children’s book, and it’s special because one of my nieces that’s drawing for the book was my flower girl.
Christa Innis: Oh. So
Cassie Horrell: I’m like, it kind of is like a full circle moment since it’s about asking your flower girl ring barrier, your little people to be in your wedding.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I love that. Oh my gosh. She’s gonna like remember that forever that she was an artist in a book. Like how cool is that? Yeah, I love that. Let’s get into the beginning of crazy stories and hot takes. I know you, we talked about, you shared a really heartwarming and surprising story last time. So what story do you have for us today?
Cassie Horrell: I’m going to share a story. I. About one of the most cringe worthy moments I’ve seen at a wedding and it deals with a dj.
Christa Innis: Oh God.
Cassie Horrell: So it’s kind of a long-winded story, but I’ll try to get through it quickly.
Christa Innis: I’m gonna dive right in. So this was probably, I don’t know, three or four years into my career. I’ve always been like an over communicator when it comes to working with vendors, especially when you work on the venue side.
Cassie Horrell: So before the wedding day, I had reached out to this DJ one month out and then seven days out, and the DJ was so communicative, like a surprise. Sometimes vendors are so busy they don’t get back to you, but this vendor was great. No red flags. He’s responding to my emails, he’s asking great questions. So the day of the wedding comes, shows up on time Green flags all over. I’m like, this day’s gonna be great. This dj, I’d never worked with him before. However. He’s been great so far, so I had no worries at all. once he was settled, I go over and I always like to go through one more time the timeline, because sometimes couples and their last week make a slight change that they may not have relayed to me like, oh, we’re actually gonna do the motherson dance before the father-daughter dance, and mm-hmm.
And so they may have told their DJ that, but maybe they didn’t tell me that. So. I go over to the DJ and I’m like, Hey, Mr. Dj, this is my timeline. I just wanna make sure that yours looks exactly the same and there hasn’t been any changes. He’s like, 100% we’re on the same page. I’m like, this is great.
I then go over all the key songs. So I’m going over the Processional music, the Recessional songs, and then their key songs for like first dance, mother, son, father, daughter, and we have everything to say. it’s matching up. He has it on his computer, we’re good to go. Ceremony happens, great.
Cocktail hour happens. Fabulous. And then it’s time for the reception. And my couple had chose to have the wedding party come out as a group and then they were gonna be announced and then move right into their first dance. Mm-hmm. So that transition, you know, not that it’s super quick, but it happens and then moves right into the first dance.
DJ checks in with them. We start the introduction process. Wedding party comes out, they get announced, and they move onto the dance floor for their first dance. So everybody’s like up cheering, looking at them, and they’re walking to the middle of the floor, like ready to transition, and the music fades out and then nothing goes on.
It’s just like dead silent. Oh no. And I’m like across the room. So if the DJ booth is directly across from me and the dance floor is in the center, so I’m like looking at the DJ and I’m like, Hey, or stance, wording it to him and he’s looking at me just staring at me like with his hands. I’m like, what?
And I was like, then first dance. first dance. We’re doing the first dance. and he sees me, so I didn’t wanna cut across straight across the dance floor. So I start like walking around the tables on the backside and I. He goes the opposite direction. Like so now? Yes. Yes. And it’s like now been like 20 seconds, 30 seconds of awkward silence and like people are laughing and the couple’s just kind of standing there instead of me just going over and being like, Hey, we’re doing the first dance.
Like we went over the order. You had this song.
“We’re Doing the First Dance… Right?”
Christa Innis: He walks out onto the dance floor directly to the couple, this is in front of all of their guests. And he goes, it’s first dance. Right? And they both were like, yeah. And then he’s like. What’s the song? And they say the song. I don’t remember what it was, but it was like a Michael Buble song.
Yeah.
Cassie Horrell: And then like goes back nonchalant like nothing happened and goes, okay, everybody we’re gonna move into the first dance and then puts the song on. And I was like that. I wanted to crawl under a rock and die. I’m like, you prepare, you prompt them, you make sure everything’s good. And then for the DJ then to like.
I don’t know what happened. He had like a blip in his brain and just, yeah, forgot what he was doing, but it was so cringe-worthy. And then later in the day when they’re doing the cake cutting, he did one of my least favorite things in the whole entire world when a DJ is like super talkative.
Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.
On the
Cassie Horrell: microphone. And he started narrating the cake cutting. He was like, okay, everybody, they have the cake cutting set. Alright, they’re slicing the cake, now they’re pulling the cake out. Are they gonna slam the cake in each other’s faces? And like everyone was just like, this is terrible. so yeah, it was two cringeworthy moments from the same dj.
Immediately after that wedding, I put him on like the do not book list and I did send him an email being like, Hey, do you wanna talk about what happened? and he literally was just like, yeah, I just like forgot the timeline I don’t know. It was just so cringe-worthy and like, have it, I felt bad for the couple.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Didn’t he have it like right in front of him?
Cassie Horrell: He had it, I saw it on his piece of paper. He had a copy of my paper. We went over it and he still didn’t do it. And I’m like, I felt bad for the couple, just like they were kind of robbed of that. Blissful moment when you like walk in and everybody’s cheering and then you go right into your first dance.
It was interrupted by him shuffling out on the dance floor, asking them, I don’t know. It was so strange. I never worked with that DJ again.
Christa Innis: Yeah. And weird,
Cassie Horrell: you’re outta 10, you
Christa Innis: when you’re trying to like walk over by him, you’re trying to make it like smooth and he’s just like, yep, I’m gonna go the other way.
Cassie Horrell: I was baffled. it was just one of those moments that I’ll remember. For my whole life, like I’m so weary sometimes the DJs because of that one experience, even though I know there’s amazing professional DJs out there, but like every time I get this like sinking feeling like, gosh, I hope they know what they’re doing.
Christa Innis: Probably. ’cause Yeah, you never saw that coming. Like, everything looks no. Well that point. And so then all of a sudden you’re like, are they gonna surprise me with a random,
Cassie Horrell: right. Like, I could understand if there were red flags. Like he wasn’t communicating, he wasn’t answering emails, but like. Nothing.
It was just that moment and I’m like. That was so strange and also just kind of sad.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I’m like,
Cassie Horrell: I wish I could rewind time, but I can’t.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. heard a story not that long ago and I can’t remember if it was the DJ or what, but they forgot to turn the music on while she was walking down the aisle and she said she was already very, like, uncomfortable with all eyes on her.
So imagine just like a silent room then. Wait.
Cassie Horrell: Do you? I could give you a second story on,
Christa Innis: yes.
Cassie Horrell: Yeah, so this story also deals with music not going on the aisle. I will never forget this. This was like pretty recent, not pretty recent, but like I. Within the last five years.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Everybody Clap for Me
Cassie Horrell: We had this happen where we just had, we call them ghosts.
Like sometimes in old buildings, like things happen and you’re just like, what? We had the song playing, like the team was playing the music. I was queuing the couple, I heard the song start. So I said to the bride, okay, go ahead and walk down the aisle. I walked around the backside so that I could like come in the other way to see the ceremony, and by the time I had walked around, the music had stopped.
I was like, where’s the music? So I go over to the dj, I was like, Hey, what’s going on? And he’s like, everything just went black. the system just went down. You couldn’t access, they had provided a Spotify list, you couldn’t access the page. Like what they had provided was just black. And the bride they had, luckily this was like a covid.
Celebration. So they’d been married for two years and they did already have like a wedding. So this was like a wedding with their family and friends. She literally was at the end of the aisle and she’s like, F it, everybody clap for me. And she walked on the aisle and everybody was like cheering for her.
But it was another one of those moments that you’re like, there was no stopping it, like the music was on and then the equipment just like.
Christa Innis: Went off, there’s nothing they could have done. Oh my, no.
Cassie Horrell: And luckily that bride specifically was just the most chill, fun, and like she was laughing and smiling, so it was okay.
But yeah, I would’ve freaked out. I think.
Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s funny, I was talking to someone how, like, I remember my makeup artist saying to me in the morning, my wedding. she’s like, you’re so relaxed for a bride. And I was kinda like, well, at this point, like everyone’s here, whatever happens, happens, you know, it’s no big deal.
Cassie Horrell: But thinking about. Music not starting while walking down the aisle, or like a big moment. I feel like I would be in my head, I think I would on the outside be fine. I wouldn’t do anything like crazy, but I would be like, oh my God. they do everything. Like, I don’t know, and there’s a lot of emotion tied to songs.
So like if you picked a special song. To play and then it’s not playing like that can tweak the way that you’re feeling in that moment. So I totally feel that.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Or playing like a different version of a song. ’cause like we were trying to be so specific with different songs,
We did a rock version of a very like. Classic love song and we did the avenge sevenfold version for like when grandparents were walking down and it just to be like a little different and it was awesome. But I’m like, if it was the different version, like I feel like that would’ve completely like changed how it would’ve been.
but yeah, I, to be specific, oh my gosh. Cringey. Cringey. I know. Let’s go into some wedding hot takes. yes. So this is just getting your opinion on some hot takes people have that they submit to me.Is it okay to ask for money instead of gifts or does it come off as greedy? I.
Cassie Horrell: So I think there is a more tasteful way to ask for a monetary gift.
I think it is definitely tacky if you’re saying like, cash only, we only want cash. I have seen people do that. I have heard stories where you’re like, Ooh, and people are gonna gift kind of whatever they’d like. So. I think there’s a tasteful way to ask it if you are looking for monetary gifts. however, I do kind of agree it is a little greedy and a little tacky to be like forcing that because a gift for a wedding is not mandatory.
And then to like be demanding a certain type of gift, I also think is. It’s not my style, I wouldn’t recommend.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I agree. I feel like, I’ve been to some weddings and actually the ones that I think asked this were like over covid. So they weren’t doing showers or anything and so like instead of that, like they did an announcement and they were like, oh, just send cash if you wanna send a gift.
‘ cause they weren’t doing like any kind of in person thing. So I got that. But. for me, I’m never gonna bring a wrapped gift to a wedding. That’s just not me neither. It’s not my style. No. Even our own wedding, I think only a few people actually did that. But yeah, to me, I would never just be like, only gimme the cash.
Like, yeah. It feels
Cassie Horrell: weird. Well, and I feel like there’s just so many creative ways now, like. If there’s the honeymoon fund, or you could buy somebody an experience or you could build out those experiences for your honeymoon, which literally it does just send you cash, but it will be like, help us pay for a wine dinner.
Help us pay for this excursion. that is a more tasteful way than to just be like, if you wanna give us a gift, give us cash. Like, I get it. People nowadays live together, they already have a lot of the things that you would gift. Mm-hmm. you don’t have to force cash onto people and just let them gift what they feel comfortable with.
Christa Innis: Yeah. And if it doesn’t work out, you can return it and get the cash for it. Great. Put something else out. Don’t make a big Yeah. Stink about it. Yeah. I had some people like comment one time about, I was talking about the honeymoon, how it’s like you can gift for like a honeymoon, you know? Whatever that program is.
And, they were like, I’m not funding someone’s honeymoon. And I was like, well, if you’re giving a gift at a wedding, you don’t know how they’re gonna use that money. Right. Whether they use it from bed sheets or a drink at the bar, you’re not gonna know. So if you just wanna like, give a gift, you have to know that that’s their choice.
How they wanna spend it.
Cassie Horrell: Exactly. Yeah.
Christa Innis: okay. Should couples have to invite all their family members, even the ones they barely talk to?
Cassie Horrell: No. Straight up. No,
Christa Innis: we agree there. Yeah. I feel like that’s such an odd thing, but it happens all the time.
Cassie Horrell: a ton of people feel the pressure from like parents mainly.
I feel like to invite the second invite the third cousin, oh, I went to their daughter’s wedding. So we have to extend an invite and I feel like if it doesn’t fit in the budget or it’s not a priority for those people to be there, there’s no reason you should be inviting them.
Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.
Cassie Horrell: Specifically if you’ve never met them before. Like a lot of people are like, I don’t wanna introduce myself to someone for the very first time on my wedding day. Yeah. why would I waste my time doing that? Not that I don’t wanna meet those people, but I don’t know. The wedding day is about you and your partner and the love together.
So a lot of people want people they know and support them and know them as a couple to celebrate their day with them.
Christa Innis: Yeah, 100%. Yeah. I don’t get the, like I have to invite. My great aunt’s second cousin once removed and you’re like, what’s their name? And you’re like, I why? Yeah, just so they like get dressed up for a few hours and hang out with like someone they barely know.
I don’t know.
Cassie Horrell: Also, weddings are so expensive of like to add five to eight random people that even if they’re related. Onto the guest list could be like thousands of dollars.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Cassie Horrell: Like I don’t know if people think about that. I don’t know.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I don’t think so. Not a fan. Well, I think too, like that generation, like weddings have changed so much since then.
Yes. I remember some people commenting saying like, oh yeah, we just got married in our parents or the church basement and like it was free and we had just had sheet cake. And that’s all well and good. And some people still do that and I think that’s great, but just realize that every wedding is different and their budgets are different and.
Timelines. All that stuff.
Cassie Horrell: Agreed.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Okay. Let’s jump into this week’s story submission. So as always, feel free to stop me or I’ll kind of make pause. We can just react to this story. Let’s see what happens. Okay. Me, 24 female and my fiance, 24 male, were set to get married in late summer.
We’ve been engaged for a couple of years in planning our wedding ever since. I’ve always dreamed of eloping in another country, and my parents generously offered to cover the elopement since it would be cheaper than a full wedding here in the us. All right. That’s
Cassie Horrell: nice.
Christa Innis: Very nice. Thank you. We made the decision to go that route and shared it with my fiance’s family.
We told them they could attend if they covered their own travel or we’d live stream the ceremony. His parents immediately pushed back. His mom refused to fly due to fear and not wanting to pay for a plane ticket. His dad didn’t wanna skip a vacation with his parents. Oh. Because spending money on our wedding would cut into his travel funds.
Cassie Horrell: Oh Lord.
Christa Innis: Okay. Well, here we learn about priorities. Like, yep, we got tired of the back and forth and went back to my family. They kindly agreed to help us fund a stateside wedding instead. So they’re Wow. Keeping their plans. And also
Cassie Horrell: these parents, this set of parents seem super friendly and supportive.
Christa Innis: Yeah. And they’re just like, whatever you want. Sure. Got that for you. oh, here we go. On the conviction that my fiance spoke to you soon, that my fiance’s parents would cover the honeymoon. Oh, that’s like unheard of to investigation where we would originally elope. See, that’s where I’m kinda like, oh, now you’re putting expectations on the other parents when, right.
I don’t think it’s a parent’s duty to pay for a honeymoon at all. No. So that’s kind of weird to me. it says his parents agreed.
Cassie Horrell: Wow.
Christa Innis: Okay. Okay. something tells me they’re not gonna actually agree.
Cassie Horrell: I was gonna say, it doesn’t seem right because they didn’t wanna pay to attend the ceremony, but they’ll pay for their honeymoon, which I’m like, it probably would equate to the same.
Christa Innis: Yeah. And then they’re not even going to the honeymoon, so they’re paying for a vacation for someone else. As opposed to if they paid for the elopement, they would be there with them.
Cassie Horrell: Yeah.
Christa Innis: So something’s not
Cassie Horrell: adding up. Something is not right.
Christa Innis: My family put down a deposit on the venue. A year later, I asked my fiance if the honeymoon had been booked.
He said, no. Again, maybe it’s, and you might agree with me, ’cause you’re a planner too. The planner type A me would never put that in the hands of someone else.
Cassie Horrell: I’m no looking at myself. Right. I would do the same thing. I’d be like, I’m booking the place, I’m picking the flights. I’m not leaving it up to someone else.
No,
Christa Innis: no. So many of these, I’m like, oh my gosh, you trusted that person for that long. Oh my gosh. I’d be like. Freaking out. he said no. A month later after that, he told me it was okay. Fast forward to this April, I found out that my fiance had paid for most of the honeymoon himself, at least 80% of it through monthly payments.
Cassie Horrell: Oh, he’s covering for his parents. That’s kind of like, I think it’s sweet on his part, but also like, what the heck with the parents that said they would pay for it.
Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s like this whole thing’s kinda weird to me because it’s like he felt, he couldn’t tell you that he was paying for it until April.
So I don’t know when this started. And then the parents lied about wanting to help cover it. But I also think it’s kind of interesting to have the parents pay the honeymoon. oh, that his parents were upset, they were expected to pay at all. Then why didn’t they communicate that?
Cassie Horrell: They could have just said, no, we’re not doing that, and then they would’ve eloped without them.
Christa Innis: Exactly. So they’re causing all these issues, like they’re changing their elopement to have a stateside wedding. And then they’re like, oh, well you pay for the honeymoon. Yeah, we will jk. We’re not going
Cassie Horrell: psych.
You Need to Keep Paying and Keep Lying to Her
Christa Innis: I pressed my fiance for the truth and he finally called his mom.
She told him word for word, we’re not doing this. You need to keep paying and keep lying to her about it. So they wanted it to look like they were paying for it.
Cassie Horrell: Oh, I do feel bad for the groom in this situation. ’cause I’m like, he’s probably trying to salvage the relationship between his partner and his parents.
But his parents just, they could have just communicated that they were uncomfortable paying and then it would’ve been fine.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
don’t know. I’m like so confused by this too. ’cause I feel like, and we don’t know like their relationship or the relationship between the parents, but like. I’m thinking about my own parents and my own in-laws.
if my parents had to do this, they would never be like, well, only if their parent, his parents do this. Like, they would never say that either.
Cassie Horrell: No.
Christa Innis: I feel like there’s a weird communication between all parties involved here.
Cassie Horrell: Yes.
Christa Innis: But yeah, I really feel for the fiance, ’cause you can tell he’s kind of put in the middle of the mom being like, just pay for it and lie to her about it.
Like, what
Cassie Horrell: don’t, that’s ludicrous.
“This Isn’t About Us Anymore”
Christa Innis: She says, I was devastated. I told him we should cancel the local wedding and just elope like we originally planned because this clearly wasn’t about us anymore. He told his parents and they freaked out, not because we were canceling, but because my parents would still be there paying their own way, mind you, and they wouldn’t be included now.
Cassie Horrell: Oh, so this was about like a money comparison with the other set of parents?
Mm-hmm. Yeah. It’s like. if they just agreed to the original elopement plan and just paid their way to go, it’d be way less than paying for any of this, and they’d be a part of it. I feel like this facade, whatever the group’s parents have, they used the stateside wedding as an excuse to look like they were participating, but in actuality, they were just kinda like.
Get away Scotch free.
Christa Innis: Yes. And have the sun cover for them to make them look. Mm-hmm. they were paying for it. That is crazy. And I wonder like if they were gonna help with anything else for the stateside wedding, if they’re just gonna be like, oh, the honeymoon, we’re just gonna take care of that and take care of it, quote unquote.
Yeah,
Cassie Horrell: but not really.
Christa Innis: But not really. So then they agreed to cover the wedding. Again, except not the food or the flights, just the hotel. Fine. We said let’s just get through it. About 40 days out, my parents reached out to my fiance, not about money, just logistics and decor to see what his family wanted to contribute to.
Oh, for the actual wedding. Okay. His parents hadn’t participated at all during the two years of planning. Why am I not surprised?
Cassie Horrell: Yeah. Surprise, surprise.
Christa Innis: They seem very like into just like not being a part of things. Even when we invited them to help pick out my dress or with the decor, did not want a part of it.
My fiance sent an upbeat message to his dad asking what they wanted to help with. His dad lost it. Said they weren’t contributing a thing and accused my family of starting a pissing contest.
Cassie Horrell: Oh Lord,
Christa Innis: here we go. They just don’t wanna look like they’re not doing enough. But now it’s a competition. they just would’ve gone with the original plan.
It never would’ve been like this. No. My fiance went to their house to talk in person because half of the remaining payments were due. The next day. While there, his mom screamed at him to get out never come back. He called me angry and heartbroken and said, maybe we should just cancel a wedding.
This is really sad.
Cassie Horrell: I know this is making me sad for the couple.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I just don’t get why the parents wouldn’t just be like, oh, we, don’t have the funds. Or we would just rather not Right. just leave it at that. Unless there’s something that we’re not just playing devil’s advocate, like unless there’s something we’re not hearing.
Like if there was a lot of pressure and they just felt like, are they kept, I feel the same
Cassie Horrell: thing. It would’ve been easier for them to just communicate clearly early on. Yeah. And then. The other parents and the couple to then plan accordingly then to say, yeah, we’re gonna participate, and then last minute be like, actually we’re not.
Christa Innis: Yeah. And, and then getting mad and now it’s just awkward. I feel like they’re just making more of like a buffer between everybody. Yeah. it says my parents who had already spent money on the venue were so understanding They offered without being asked to pay for an elopement again, but if they already paid for the venue, so now they’re just going back and forth if they want a venue or elopement.
Cassie Horrell: Right.
You’re No Longer My Son
Christa Innis: Okay. My mom was incredibly kind to, my fiance apologized to him and told him they weren’t mad, just worried about us.
They said they’d support us however they could. My fiance tried to talk to his parents. They refused and said, this isn’t you. This is her. And you need to get over it. This was the last straw and he cut contact.
Cassie Horrell: Yikes.
Christa Innis: I feel like there’s a lot of like hurt on both sides and we’re not, there’s something missing.
Like Yeah, I mean I guess things can explode like out of this, but I don’t know. I feel like there’s some detail about the parents that are like his parents that were like. Why are they so angry?
Cassie Horrell: I feel like their behavior’s probably always been like this and maybe the groom’s used to it and the bride and the other parents are singing it for the first time.
Christa Innis: Yeah. And so
Cassie Horrell: it’s like abrupt to us, but probably not if you actually know them.
Christa Innis: Yeah, no, that’s true. Yeah. ’cause I feel like it comes to especially like planning events or a big thing, like a wedding. Personalities come out. Right. And so like if her family is more like organized with planning or maybe they have a little more finances to be able to help with it, then they might just get very like insecure or feel bad and then it causes this other like, I dunno, deep rooted like anger or, you know, some other emotions to come up.
Yeah. a month has passed since we canceled the wedding. His mom still won’t admit to anything. We have a full recording of her telling him to lie to me. His dad admitted everything but said she’s sad about losing her son. This is so sad.
Cassie Horrell: She caused it though. Like Yeah, I just mean like it’s the mother of the group.
Christa Innis: It’s sad. It’s like a sad story. I feel like, that he is like losing his parents, you know? It’s like to go through that.
Cassie Horrell: I don’t know. Yeah. Especially when you’re wedding planning. there’s already a lot of emotions and it’s stressful. And then to have that happen on top is like the icing on the cake.
Christa Innis: Yeah. And it’s like she can’t just open her eyes up a bit to see like, okay, they caused this if they wanted to actually be there for her son and future wife, they can do that. Like, it’s just some communication. But I feel like some of that, I dunno, some personalities like. Once they feel like they’ve been wronged, they can’t see outside of it.
And then it’s just like, that’s it. I’m like,
Cassie Horrell: narcissist.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I mean, seriously. And then I feel like the husband, you know, it’s like he, probably is in the middle now because he’s like, he’s so mad she doesn’t wanna talk to him. And then, he wants, still wants to talk to his son, but it’s like
That’s a big deal. the dad said, my fiance should just let it go, but this is a pattern. She does something pretends it never happens and expects everyone to go along with it. So there we go. Yeah. So this is probably, you said not the first time they’ve probably done this, their whole relationship, but the wedding was the icing on the cake for her.
I bet. Yep. My fiance finally said, enough is enough. The only time he is heard from her since was when she demanded to come and get a few boxes and threatened to drop off personal documents, including his birth certificate and social security card on our doorstep when we weren’t home.
Cassie Horrell: What, she’s going to the extremes here.
Christa Innis: He’s like, you’re no longer my son. I’m cutting contact completely. Like, what? But people are this crazy. That’s
Cassie Horrell: why like, this story happened to someone and I’m like, I just can’t imagine.
Christa Innis: and think of it down the line if someone’s like, oh, why don’t, isn’t your son talk to you?
It’s like, oh, he got married. It’s like, what? Yeah. It’s like a exciting and joyous time and you, couldn’t communicate something and so you decided to just be like bitter and cross your arms and be like, well, guess I don’t have a son anymore. Like,
Cassie Horrell: that’s wild.
Christa Innis: What? That is insane. She was gonna drop off his birth certificate.
Three days later, she was on vacation and then called him like nothing had happened. Hey, how’s it going
Cassie Horrell: d Lulu?
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. How’s wedding planning? How can I help? Like what,
Cassie Horrell: Hmm. Something’s not right there.
Christa Innis: That would drive me insane. I some of these stories. I’m just like, how do people like. Have relationships with someone like that because you probably are constantly thinking you’re going crazy.
You’re like, wait, did I imagine that last, conversation with that person. Like, am I going crazy? says, it’s bizarre. It’s painful. We spent two years planning this wedding only to cancel it six weeks before the date. Six weeks, no, eight. Yikes. So that means they probably paid a majority.
Had all them. Oh yeah. Would they have all the invitations and stuff out by that point?
Cassie Horrell: Yeah, they would’ve sent invitations out. They would’ve had people RSVPing. usually the six week mark is like, RSVPs are due. So like imagine all the people that like were making arrangements to come to the wedding.
I don’t know how big it was gonna be, but like still,
Christa Innis: yeah, they probably
Cassie Horrell: had room blocks. They probably had all their vendors booked. Like, I don’t know. That’s devastating, To have to cancel when it, I understand canceling a wedding, if the two people decide we’re not getting married. Right.
But to cancel a wedding because someone is being overdramatic overbearing and like a narcissist. I think that’s devastating and that’s sad
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Cassie Horrell: That couple had to do that.
Christa Innis: Right. the last part ends with, we’ll be eloping in Italy. Yay. Parents are not invited. So feel like if anything, this is a lesson to those listening that just go with your gut of what you want for your wedding.
Because how much, yes, you probably hear it all the time and have to say to people all the time is like block out all the extra noise. Because I feel like so many times when brides and grooms like everyone else wants, they regret their wedding more because they don’t do what actually is like meaningful to them.
They Finally Kicked Her Out of the Car
Cassie Horrell: I always like to explain it to my couples. like you’re driving a car and you have a destination where you want to go, and when you start letting every other person give their opinions, it’s like you jump into the passenger seat and someone else is driving and they’re doing their own thing. So you might end up like on the opposite side of the country because of what other people want.
So I do think you, you do have to be selfish a little bit when you’re wedding planning because
Christa Innis: it is
Cassie Horrell: your day. You need to like keep your priorities in mind and go with your gut feeling of like what you want in reason, of course,
Christa Innis: right. But
Cassie Horrell: making sure other people don’t sway you so drastically. Like they went from an elopement to a stateside wedding to canceling then back to exactly what they planned,
Christa Innis: but
Cassie Horrell: had to.
Wait so long for that moment.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Cassie Horrell: Because of the mother of the group.
Christa Innis: Yeah. So many hurdles in the meantime. I love that analogy of driving because that’s so true. It’s like if you are constantly and people pull you different directions, you’re gonna make all these pit stops that you didn’t
Need to make in the case of this couple, they just drove all the way around the country.
Cassie Horrell: They got on a plane and flew around.
Christa Innis: Yes. They finally kicked her out of the car. cause it sounds like from the beginning they knew what they wanted to do. So if you are a couple that wants to elope, elope, if you’re a couple that wants a small wedding, have a small wedding.
If you want a big wedding, have a big wedding, just block out the noise and just you and your partner are the main people that matter.
Cassie Horrell: Yeah, and I do think it’s really important, like weddings are, they do include family. There is a lot of family dynamics in play and I think if you are taking into consideration, especially heavy consideration parents wants, then like that conversation needs to happen.
Very early on. Yeah. So that everybody’s on the same page and everybody is aware and this, it kind of seemed like they made a decision with one set of the parents. They informed the other set of the parents and like that’s where it kind of went awry.
Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. And
Cassie Horrell: so maybe if they would’ve had the conversation super early, not that I think it’s okay with the mother of the groom did, but if both sets of parents were in the original conversation, they probably could have saved themselves some drama.
Christa Innis: Yeah. And I feel like there’s some people too, like this mom seems like she might’ve just been the victim no matter what. But yeah, I agree. I feel like there’s some people where you have to like tiptoe in and be like, Hey, make ’em feel like it was their idea or something.
And then other people, it’s like they have to know first. Like, I read one story that was like. Because the bride told her parents first, and I think the bride’s mom was talking to the groom’s mom. She got so offended that they already planned this whole wedding without her. And they’re like, no, they just booked the venue.
That’s it. So like some people feel like something’s been taken from them and it’s like, oh my gosh. Like so a whole wedding to plan.
Cassie Horrell: Yeah. Pump the brakes. Everybody can be included. Yes.
Christa Innis: We’ll be okay. It’s fine. Oh my gosh. The number of times I hear of like, just like the drama at weddings, just like tearing families apart.
Cassie Horrell: But I always like to remind people too, and you might have your own perspective on this, but I feel like if a wedding is what pulled people apart, there was already something like either something stewing or. Some red flags were already kind of showing. I agree.
I feel like if it comes to a head because of the wedding, then there’s some sort of underlying situation that you’ve probably dealt with before
Christa Innis: and it
Cassie Horrell: just was brushed under the rug. It’s just the wedding brings the biggest emotions in so many people, and I don’t know why, but it is sometimes make or break for some relationships.
Christa Innis: And
Cassie Horrell: you just have to like move forward and realize like you’re seeing their true colors for a reason and for the good or the bad.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Cassie Horrell: Sometimes like it brings people closer. Sometimes it’s the opposite and people are like, I don’t wanna be friends with them anymore. I don’t wanna talk to them again. you see the extreme on both sides during the wedding planning process.
Not always, but sometimes.
Christa Innis: But sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. Don’t be fearful of your listening and you’re like, oh no. Like if there’s already some kind of red flags or people that can’t support, I don’t know how to word it. People that can’t allow others to shine or like can’t like allow
Cassie Horrell: the, they can’t silently support, like they have to have some sort of opinion.
Christa Innis: Yeah, those are the people. It’s hard
Cassie Horrell: for them.
Christa Innis: They’re gonna fault her during that time. Yes. That’s what you hear. Like when the bridesmaid does something or says something in her speech or cause that’s the friend that’s been secretly like little, maybe a little jealous or just can’t have the spotlight on somebody else.
Cassie Horrell: but, and also one uppers, those are the other people that like, have
Christa Innis: a
Cassie Horrell: very difficult time during the wedding planning process because it becomes like a comparing game. Like, oh, my daughter got married or. They got engaged. Oh, you have to get engaged. And it becomes like a competition where I’m like, why does it have to be a competition?
Like you guys could both get married, you could do it at your own pace, you could have different types of weddings. but you do see that a lot as well.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Life is so much better when you’re not comparing yourself to every person for every little thing. ’cause you’ll never win in a conversation with everybody around you.
You’ll just never win. Like, ‘ cause someone’s always gonna have, the better this, the better that. And it’s like. You just have to stick true to you, and that’s when you’ll be happiest.
Cassie Horrell: Yeah. And I mean that is like, I think it’s a blessing and a curse, social media for weddings. Mm-hmm.
Christa Innis: Because
Cassie Horrell: I mean, on TikTok, you’re seeing so much, you’re seeing these beautiful weddings.
Same thing with Pinterest. You know, you see all these things. You’re like, I have to have a wedding like that. When in actuality the weddings that are like highlighted and shown are 300,000 plus dollar weddings. And I’m like, that’s not an average wedding. So just like in general life, it’s the same thing with weddings.
People just like, they want what they see and they just crave that. And then at the end of the day, like their wedding doesn’t look like that or they can’t include A, B, or C and it causes issues. Yeah. Just do what you want within your budget and I think people will have fun.
Christa Innis: Yeah, and I think one thing too with like planning weddings is like.
If you’re more excited about sharing your wedding photos on social media than the actual day, then that’s a sign that we’re doing things for maybe the wrong reason. I don’t know. Maybe that’s a hot take.
Cassie Horrell: You are right. And there is people that do that. Like they spend their all their money so they can have these Instagramable moments or they can create the TikTok.
But I’m like, on my wedding day, all I remember is like having. So much fun with my husband and like our friends and being on the dance floor. Like I don’t ever remember once being like, oh, I have to make sure that like I get this to post. Like, I don’t know. I feel like if that’s how your day is, then like,
Christa Innis: yeah.
I saw, this is years ago, someone I know from like a long time ago. On her wedding day, she posted one picture of herself and said, can’t wait to see my friends.
Cassie Horrell: Oh Lord.
Christa Innis: And I was like, what about your partner? Bad sign. And they got divorced, like,
Cassie Horrell: there we go. Exactly.
Christa Innis: I’m not saying that to judge, but I’m just like, think about like how you view your wedding day and it’s like, what are you most excited for?
Like, yes, of course you wanna see your friends and celebrate. I don’t mean that in a bad way, but aren’t you excited for like. Marrying your person and having your first dance and it was just like, if you’re just more excited about showing off and like posting it to social media and getting the likes, then that’s not exactly the.
I dunno.
Cassie Horrell: Not the vibes.
Christa Innis: Not the vibes. okay. Let’s go into the next segment, which is weekly confessions. These are confessions that people send me on Instagram and we’ll just react to ’em. We don’t get as much detail here, so we kinda have to read between the lines a little bit.
Weekly Confessions
Okay. This first one says, my mother-in-law treats my son differently because he’s an IVF baby. What? What? That’s one terrible two. Like what? His
Cassie Horrell: own mom, you said it said mother-in-law, right? Yeah. My mother-in-law,
Christa Innis: my mother-in-law treats my son differently. Oh,
Cassie Horrell: her a grandson. I thought it was like her husband.
Oh, was not understanding that at first,
Christa Innis: like her treats her son differently.
Cassie Horrell: Yeah, she treats her grandson differently. Her
Christa Innis: grandson, because he’s IVF.
Cassie Horrell: I’m sorry. People are crazy.
Christa Innis: no matter like how you have that baby, it’s your baby. And they should love that baby. Just the same.
Cassie Horrell: Yeah. Even if it was like a foster baby or an adoption baby, like they’re your baby.
They’re part of your family. Like everybody should be the same. Same with step kids. I cannot stand when people treat other children differently. They’re children.
Christa Innis: Yes. I just don’t get that. I’ve heard of this happening before. someone I just talked to said like, I think it was like an in-law I’ll keep it very anonymous, but her in-law,
has a grandson, but it’s a step grandson. So the way they treat that son as opposed to the other one is so different and it’s like, but you’re still grandma to that. Yeah. Need to still be grandma. Like It’s just I don’t get that.
Cassie Horrell: I did a story on one of those and I was like baffled at the things I was reading.
’cause I’m like, they’re just kids. They’re just babies. they’re your family. You gotta love on ’em and that’s it.
Christa Innis: Yeah. They did nothing. Like if you have. Angst towards, you know, a parent or an ex or something. It’s like the kid did nothing to deserve that.
Cassie Horrell: No.
Christa Innis: okay. Next one is, we hired security to keep certain uninvited people away from our wedding.
Have you Okay. Get a lot of weddings.
Cassie Horrell: So where I work, we have security. They don’t do like security, what you would imagine, they’re not like checking a guest list. Yes, I have seen security at a wedding. Not all my weddings have actual security like that, but I think if you have a situation where you are no contact or there is a relationship where you think someone might arise and it’s going to cause issues
Christa Innis: mm-hmm.
Cassie Horrell: Then save yourself the stress of thinking of them arriving and get security. it’s not as common as people think, but it does happen.
Christa Innis: Wow. That’s so interesting. Yeah. I’ve, had a lot of stories submitted to me where I shouldn’t say a lot. Like you said, probably like 10%, 5%.
Yeah. like really a small percentage. but where they’re like, we had to call security or we had to have security on standby because so and so might show up. I think most of the time there’s just there as precaution. I’m sure they don’t have to do anything, but occasionally. I’m sure there’s something.
Cassie Horrell: We had one where we had like pictures. We all had pictures of what the person looked like. A they didn’t show up, but we were prepared. Oh. If they were to show up like we were gonna call the cops. So,
Christa Innis: whoa. You’re like on guard just waiting. Yeah, we were
Cassie Horrell: ready.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. this last one says, me and the hubby almost eloped because of not wanting to be on display.
’cause we are shy.
Cassie Horrell: Fair enough. I think for some people, like if you don’t wanna be the center of attention, then a wedding day, like a standard American celebration might not be the right fit for you. And I feel like in that case, an elopement makes complete sense.
Christa Innis: Yeah. That can be very daunting of like all the eyes on you.
If music doesn’t play, that could be very, very double the
Cassie Horrell: stress.
Christa Innis: Yeah. But it sounds like they didn’t got married so. Hey, good for you. Do what makes sense for you. Hopefully it wasn’t through bullying of other people. Well, thank you so much for coming back on. That was so fun chatting and hanging out again.
for anyone listening, can you tell ’em again where they can find you and then anything exciting that you’re working on?
Cassie Horrell: you can find me at Wedding Pro Cast on all socials, so TikTok, Instagram, Facebook. YouTube, I’m working on a really cool YouTube series, which is Wedding Whisper. There’s been like short clips of it on my TikTok and Instagram.
but those will be like longer episodes of me interviewing real wedding vendors, particularly in the Pittsburgh area. Just getting like hot takes and their best tips and tricks about. Kind of their category of vendor category at a wedding. So that’s a big project I’ve been working on. I’m on a couple of podcasts coming up, which are all kind of wedding based, which will be fun.
and I was just on the Tamron Hall Show, which was a really cool experience. So you can see that. I think it’s on Disney Plus or Hulu now, but it Oh,
Christa Innis: awesome. Was
Cassie Horrell: released early April. So yeah. And then my books will be coming out and you can kind of find me online every day.
Christa Innis: Yay. Awesome. Well, sounds good.
Well, thank you again for coming on. That was a lot of fun.
Cassie Horrell: Thank you for having me.
My Book Is Here! Q&A, Chapter Sneak Peek, & Wild Storytime
This week, Christa Innis takes the mic solo to share the exciting launch of her debut novel, Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story. Based on her most viral wedding story skits, this book dives into the emotional aftermath of a proposal gone wrong, messy in-law dynamics, and the kind of drama that’s almost too wild to be fiction.
You’ll hear how the characters evolved, why the story had to be written, and the real-life inspiration behind Ferris and Sloan’s world.
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Episode Chapter Markers
00:00 Introduction
00:31 Review of the Week
01:01 Book Launch Announcement
04:12 Exclusive Book Segment Reading
07:44 Q&A Session
19:34 Wedding Submission Story
Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments
- Book Launch Reveal – Christa announces her new book, Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story, inspired by her most viral wedding skits.
- From Skit to Storyline – Discover how a single viral story about an unhinged proposal turned into a full-blown character-driven novel.
- Behind the Scenes of Writing – Christa shares the emotional process of turning chaos into creativity and how deeply she connected with her characters.
- The Evolution of Sloan – Meet Sloan, the bride at the center of it all—strong, unsure, flawed, and relatable.
- Themes of Family & Betrayal – The novel tackles complex dynamics like mothers-in-law, family pressure, and losing trust in the people closest to you.
- From Drama to Redemption – It’s not just about the drama—it’s about growth, resilience, and writing your own ending.
- The Power of Storytelling – Christa reflects on why we’re so drawn to wedding chaos and how storytelling can be a cathartic outlet.
- What’s Next for Ferris and Sloan – Teases of future chapters, evolving character arcs, and the potential for more stories in the Here Comes the Drama universe.
Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode
- “Some stories don’t leave your head—so you write them into something that can live outside of it.” – Christa Innis
- “What if your big day became someone else’s engagement story? That was the spark that started it all.” – Christa Innis
- “We don’t just love drama—we want to understand the people behind it.” – Christa Innis
- “I didn’t want a perfect protagonist. I wanted Sloan to feel real—like she could be your best friend or your past self.” – Christa Innis
- “This is for the people who love wedding chaos but also crave closure.” – Christa Innis
Join the Drama with Christa Innis:
Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!
Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.
Submit your story today: Story Submission Form
Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!
A Team Dklutr Production
Blog Transcript:
Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Christa Innis: Hey guys. Thanks for joining me on today’s episode of Here Comes The Drama. I wanted to start this episode by just thanking you guys for listening, for downloading, subscribing, and sharing with your friends. As of today where I’m recording, it’s April 15th and we have already over 50,000 downloads. I honestly can’t comprehend it.
To give you a little behind the scenes, my goal For the year was 25,000 downloads we just hit 50,000. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you guys so much. Your love and support just means so much to me. So I wanna start this episode by reading off a review of the week. This comes from MJ Groin oh five.
they say, I have been following Christa through YouTube and Facebook for a long time. I’m absolutely obsessed with the skits that she does, and. Absolutely am loving the podcast. So thank you so much for your kind review. If you guys have a review and are loving the podcast, feel free to leave a review yourself.
It means the world to me and helps more people see and hear about the podcast. Okay, jumping into today’s episode, it is a solo one and we’re gonna do things a little bit different today because today is a very special day. I have officially launched my brand new book. Here comes the drama of Ferris and Sloan story.
If you follow me on social media, you’ve probably heard all about it or you see me talking about it doing little teasers and reveals here and there. I. So today’s the official day where if you’re on my email list, you received part one for free sent to you. don’t worry if you’re not on my email list right now, you can sign up today and still get access to that first part.
and then we’ll be releasing part by part every single week. That will go right to your inbox. if you wanna do it that way. you could also pre-order the book as of today, so. It’ll be probably another month or so before the actual book comes out. But then you’ll be on that list and you’ll be one of the first ones to get it.
So to do things a little bit different today, I want to talk about Ferris and Sloan. This is what we’re gonna do. Talk a little bit more about the book. read a exclusive segment from the book. And that you’re not gonna hear anywhere else. And then answer some top questions that I’m seeing on social media that people have sent me about it.
And then of course, what would an episode be without me reading a story submission from one of you guys at the very end. So don’t worry that’s not going anywhere. first things first, just a little more about the book. so I took this. Series, this skit that I started on social media and I turned it into a full novel.
Now, originally it was going to be a novella, but I ended up adding so many details and different characters and development that it ends up being a full novel. So it’s a six part 30 chapter book, and so there’s a lot of fun in there. I always like to tell people that even if you watched the full skit front and back multiple times.
You’re still gonna get something unique and different out of this book. There are so many things that I can’t show as a one person actor. I don’t know what you would call myself skit maker. so this just allows me to develop the characters even more, share more, background behind the scenes and, just a lot that I, again, couldn’t share otherwise.
So there’s different ways to get it. Like I talked about previously, if you’re already on my email list, you can get part one sent for free. And then, every week from Until you get ’em all, I guess. we’ll email the link to the following parts and, you’ll be able to purchase the following parts.
Then you can also pre-order today, and get the full book sent to you, whether it’s digital, so through your Kindle or however you look at digital books. and then you can also get a printed version, which I cannot wait to have that one in my book. Because of course I cannot wait to have that one in my possession and share with you guys because I’m obsessed with how the cover looks.
my good friends over at Oak and Air designed that for me. And originally when we set it all up, she was like, okay with this package, you know, like you can do three design edits and we’ll give you three kind of visions to look at whatever. She sent me the first one and I was like, I don’t even wanna see any other, like edits. This looks absolutely amazing. So she just nailed it, like hit the ball of the park. I think I said that phrase wrong, but whatever, you know what I mean? okay. That’s from someone that doesn’t do sports. so that’s like the basics of what, the book is basically. Let me read a short segment from the book that you’ll not get anywhere else.
Sneak Peek from Here Comes The Drama Novel!
And as I’m reading this, this is before my proofreader and copy editor have read it, so things might still be changed in the actual one, but I’m just gonna go ahead and read the first page for you guys.
Kate couldn’t believe her ears. She picked up her glass of wine, threw back what was left, then stood up and stormed outta the living room with a loud huff. Her daughter Jenny watched her leave in pure confusion, then glanced at everyone else before quickly jumping off the couch to follow her. Mom, are you okay?
She yells. After her hurrying closer, she notices a drop of red wine has stained her mom’s white blouse. Ugh. I just know she’s doing this to get my son away from me. Kate charges into the next room. She looks unsteady, like she’s about to burst. What are you talking about, Jenny? Quickly, interjects Sloan isn’t taking anyone away from you.
Her eyes drift toward the window where the snow had just started At first it was light and quiet, barely noticeable. Now it’s beginning to fall in thick clumps, sticking to the glass, like something trying to get in. Kate pushes up her round brown glasses as a bead of sweat drips from her forehead.
Did you not just hear them? They come waltzing in here on Thanksgiving to tell us they’re not gonna be here on Christmas. Her voice trembles with a mix of hurt and disbelief for a moment, she’s questioning if she’s overreacting, but the thought vanishes as quickly as it came. Her stance is firm now.
There’s no going back. Jenny looks at her mother dumbfounded. She takes a deep breath to save herself from calling out her mother’s ridiculousness right here, right now. Yeah, they planned a vacation together. I think that’s perfectly acceptable. She runs a hand through her Long Dirty blonde hair, exhaling sharply.
You can’t tell them to not go on a vacation together. The snow is falling harder now. Piling on the window sill in soft, heavy heaps like the weight of everything left unsaid in the room. But on Christmas, there’s 364 other days of the year. Why do they have to pick Christmas? Kate’s voice is getting louder and louder each time she talks and there’s clear panic like she’s been robbed.
My guess is because they wanted to spend the holidays together. Jenny sarcastically replies, this isn’t some weird thing from a boyfriend to do with his girlfriend. Kate rolls her eyes before putting her head down in her hands and mumbles. You just watch Jenny. This is how it all starts. Then soon, they’re not just gonna show up for certain events.
She looks up and stares off as if she just had an epiphany with her own words. Mom, you should be happy that Ferris found someone he loves and wants to spend his time with. Jenny says resting her hand on her mom’s back. Now can we go back out there, put on a happy face, and enjoy the rest of Thanksgiving?
She raises both pointer fingers to the corners of her mouth, exaggerating a smile like she’s drawing one on. After a long pause, Kate pulls a tissue out of her pocket dabs her face. Although Jenny didn’t notice any tears at that moment. Fine. She stands up tall, touching her short brown hair and forces a painful, wide smile.
How’s this? Okay, so that’s a little segment. Like I said, that has not been. Edited yet that has not been sent to the copy editor or the proofreader. So when you get yours today, or if you, join the email list today and you get it, you’re gonna notice some tweaks. cause as I was reading that, I noticed I described her hair differently.
So we changed some different things around. but yeah, I hope that got you guys like a little excited for it. I still can’t believe it’s gonna be a book. Before I get to today’s like main story, I just wanna answer a couple of, top questions that you guys have sent me, about the story and then we’ll get into it.
Book Q&A Session
First things first, especially as I was reading that, because so many people have asked, is this going to be an audio book? And. By now, you guys might have seen the announcement, but in case you didn’t, yes, this will be an audio book. I’m gonna be slowly sharing some different dates and timelines as I, as I have them.
But, the first thing to say is I am not the voice of the actor in the audio book, and I know so many of you guys had requested that, but as you guys can see or hear. I’m not a voice actor and that honestly puts a lot of stress on me to be able to read a full script and everything. it’s just a lot.
And so the company that I’m working with, chanter Media is just so great. They are allowing me to be a part of the full process. listen to the actors, pick one that I think really emulates the character as well, and just be a part of everything. So they’re not taking it from me. I’m right there with them, and making it.
What it should be. Right. so yes, I’m very excited for that. Again, I’m gonna share more dates for that when I have it available. Okay. Into the q and a. What inspired you to create Ferris and Sloan? Okay, so. As you guys know, if you’ve been followingmy page, I just share, wedding stories, skits, and drama.
And through doing that, you know, people leave questions, they leave comments, they submit their stories. So it just kind of gets my brain going. I’ve always been a writer at heart. I always like creating. I would say right now about half and half are stories I just come up with, and half are stories that are submitted to me.
Typically the mini skits are ones that people send to me because I only have so much information. And then even those though, I change like a bunch because I’m like, I never want someone to see it and like know it’s like about them. Of course, when it came time for Ferris and Sloan, I still remember the day, which is kind of crazy to think about.
I was putting my daughter down for bed at night and just the line popped into my head about someone taking her son away. And I visualize myself walking in, you know, I film in my bathroom, so walking in the bathroom and just like being mad about something. cause as someone that works in social media, I also like think of like grabbing someone’s attention.
Like what’s gonna really pull someone in, right? so you want that antagonist or that person to come in right away. So I thought of that line right away. I did not know at that part that it was going to be what it is today. I literally thought it would be just a mini skit. I had some ideas. I didn’t have the character names.
I have to go back, but I don’t even think I had any of the character names picked out. Maybe a few of them. Yeah, I think I had a few picked out. but yeah,thought it was just gonna be like a mini skit and then it was really well received. People wanted more and I just kind of ran with it. going.
Into that. People have also asked like, where did the names come from? How did you come up with these? So obviously Ferris and Sloan are popular characters in another story called Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. I, however, wanna be very clear that when I started creating more skits, I would get very confused, and a lot of times I would call characters the wrong names because I would just randomly think of names, right?
And so like. Since I’m just doing them myself, I would be like, Hey Sally. And then they’d be like in the comments, he’d be like, I thought her name was Susan. And I was like, oh shoot. I totally messed it up. So to help me when I was creating these skits, I started just thinking of a random movie, random TV show, so I could remember like, okay, the mom is so and so, the dad is so and so, the sister so and so.
It just helped me when I was like putting skit together. So that day, just Ferris Bueller’s day off just popped into my head. Now as the story has developed, I’ve obviously gotten rid of those like last names. And as, as it became a book, I completely changed it because I didn’t want any confusion.
Obviously it’s a completely different storyline. and so I wanted to make these characters unique. Sloan is spelled differently. All the supporting cast members, their names have changed completely. Their last names changed. Details have changed, to make it really their own story because people keep comparing it and I’m like, no, no, no, this is different.
it’s completely different location everything. So I. That’s where it came from. That was just the lucky thing that popped in my head. I grew up watching it all the time, so like I’m familiar with it. but yeah, it’s a different story. okay. The next question is, does this story cover all three seasons of Ferris and Sloan?
No. So book one, here comes the drama, a Ferris and Sloan story only covers, season one. So, I don’t wanna spoil it if you haven’t watched all the skits. So someone asking about something very specific that happened in season two, and asked if I would cover it and I said, no, it’s only gonna cover anything in season one.
That all being said, it’s going to be an extension of that because, like I mentioned earlier, there’s only so much I can act out by myself, so there’s gonna be a lot more detail, a lot more dialogue. some things that went one way in the book are gonna go a different way.
or one way in the skit are gonna go a different way in the book just to kinda keep you on your toes. Some things are gonna be a little bit different, some things are gonna be a little toned down, some are gonna be a little extra. cause I wanted to keep it very, surprising still because it’s very unique in the fact that.
People have seen the story, right. So a lot of times when you’re reading a book, it’s your first time. So I still want it to feel like the first time for people, but also a little familiar because it’s like comforting to have familiar people. Right. Okay. Number three, was Kate always meant to be that toxic or did her character evolve as you wrote more?
yeah, so obviously she started off very toxic in the beginning. I. knew she was gonna be kind of like that toxic mother-in-law that a lot of these stories share, but I did have some kind of arc of where she’s like resolved in the skit. but people were like, I don’t know, I don’t really buy, I don’t believe it.
And so then I ended up adding like more like drama to her. So she did evolve and she evolved in different ways. I can’t give, I don’t wanna give too much away with the book. She evolves. She evolves. She was not necessarily meant to be that toxic. but I just kept kind of adding some stuff on and giving more details to it in different ways.
Okay. Number four. What’s something we would be surprised to learn in the book? Ooh. Okay. I don’t wanna give away what it is, but we go really in, depth to one of the characters. background. So something that we didn’t know about this person, and I never talked about it in the skit. It was something through my own writing of the story that I kind of discovered
about this person. yeah. And so we kind of revealed that about her, and I think it adds a little bit to the story and a little bit more to the dynamic of this person’s relationship. That’s all I’ll say. Okay. five. Did you have the ending planned from the beginning? No. so like I said, it’s a little bit backwards where I did the skip first and I’m writing the book right.
So, Answering about the skit? No, I kind of just figured it out as I went I didn’t even know it was gonna be 16 parts, and then it kind of just started tying itself up as a bow and I was like, okay, I think this is how I want it to end. When it came time for writing the book, I took similar, ending, but then kind of rewrote it in a new way.
so I did not, see that happening. okay. Number six, what part made you laugh the most while writing or filming? Ooh, gosh. And this won’t spoil anything if you’ve seen the skit, but, actually it’s a little bit different and it’s different in the book, but I would just say just. Hate just being so chaotic.
Like, I would write things and be like, this is so ridiculous. But it made me laugh, picturing it in my head, like her, at the, bridal shower. I don’t wanna get into specifics of what I wrote in the book, but I’m just cracking up about like. How she arrives and how it kind of happens because in the skit, I can’t show like costume, I can’t show how she styled herself, but I got into specifics of like what she’s wearing, how she presented herself, and the things she said that was like I ideal Kate right there.
okay. Number seven, did any real life stories from fans inspire scenes from the book? So yes and no. There wasn’t like one story that I was like, oh, I’m gonna take this and make it into a book. No, but as you watch the skit, as you read the book, you’re like, this is familiar. Or like, I’ve heard something similar to it.
We’re always inspired by things we see. but like I said, it wasn’t like. I took a story and just did it. like for example, I’ve talked about this before, but like the whole cal thing when They say they’re not gonna come as their best man because his daughter’s or his girlfriend’s daughter’s not invited.
There’s been very similar stories where I’ve read where like, the best man drops out because his, child’s not invited. but of course I mixed it up a little bit because, it’s his girlfriend and she’s kind of crazy. And, all this stuff that, you know, just kind of.
Made up. So there’s some, of course there’s inspiration. I think it’s funny when people say like, oh no, it’s a hundred percent original. I think we’re inspired by things every day. but this was one story where I remember those lines. I remember like creating it, know, myself. number eight, will there be more Ferris and Sloan stories?
this is kind of a TBD, but I would definitely like to hope so. I would like to hope so. I would like to think so. as you guys saw, maybe saw on my social media, I am now paired with a literary agent. I work with Rose, cliff literary, and we’ve got some things coming. and I also have some ideas down the line.
I don’t think I can say too much yet, but think miniseries, as of books, and then Other ways. There’s so much we can expand on with their story and I would love to do even more. So there isn’t anything for sure right now, but I’m thinking, my wheels are always turning. okay, I’ve got two more guys.
What is something you want readers to take away from this story? I think this is, Key in all of my skits and all the things I share is that boundaries are important boundaries do not make you a bad person. And it’s okay to say no okay to learn from things and say, you know what?
Don’t wanna be talked to that way anymore. I wanna say no to this person. I don’t like the way I feel around this person. And it’s okay. It does not make you rude when we are raised as people pleasers, or somehow something influences us to be a people pleaser, we are constantly feeling guilty for saying no.
I always count myself over, What’s it called? Recovering people pleaser, because I’m doing so much better than I was like in my early twenties. I was such a people pleaser, like bend over backwards for everyone no matter what. And I’ve really found to love myself more through saying no. Which sounds so funny to say out loud.
’cause I’m just like, wait, you say no to more people and you feel you love yourself. Because I think if we say yes to everybody, we’re saying no to ourselves all the time. Right. It’s that famous quote. So just boundaries are important. I think we also need to listen to other people’s boundaries, right?
It’s not just about, you know, setting our own boundaries, but respecting others. so I think we can all learn from all the characters in different ways. like we see Jenny’s such a people pleaser, you know, she wants to make everyone, She’s kinda a comedic relief, right? But she’s also like trying to make everyone get along.
she’s pulled into her mom’s drama. She’s pulled into, backing Sloan up, right? and so I think it’s really important to just see ourselves in all the characters and kind of learn from all of them. Number 10 is this fan fiction. I kind of already hit. Talked about this when I talked about the names and stuff, someone said, is this fan fiction?
Because it looks like it’s like Ferris Buer. No, it’s a completely different story. the only similarities you will see is that their names are Ferris and Sloan. They’re completely different people storylines. and if this ever gets made into, a film or a TV show or something, you’ll be able to see that they’re gonna be different people.
Their setup is different, their relationships are different. it’s a complete different story. So no, it’s not fan fiction. Okay, guys, if you guys have any other questions when it comes to this story, you can submit them on my, platform here. You can submit it on social media.
Comment on a video, email me. and I’m gonna keep, you know, doing more lives and, videos talking about the book because I’m just, I’m very excited for it. as you guys know or maybe have seen, writing a book has been something that I’ve always dreamed about and I’ve always put it as like a goal for myself and I just.
Year after year, after year, I’d be like, um, write a book. Write a book. And so it’s just really been amazing to share this with you guys and be able to, do this. So I’m more than happy to share more. All right guys. and now like I said, what would this episode be if I didn’t read a wedding submission story?
So here we go. We’re gonna end with this little story here. It says, where do I even start? I asked my fiance’s cousin Alyssa names have been changed to be a bridesmaid in our wedding. She’s dating his best friend, so we actually set them up and she was part of our engagement.
Tinder Dates, Rooming Disasters, and Secret Drama
We also have been close friends for over five years. I thought having her stand by our sides would be a beautiful way to bridge both families, but some things happened along the way. Oh, no. At the bachelorette party, she argued with one of my other guests spent an entire evening fighting with her sister.
Oh, no. After sending out our save the dates eight months prior and formal invitations three months before, both of which clearly stated no children, she sided with a family member who claimed they quote unquote, already bought tickets for themselves and their kids. Oh my gosh. Okay. So one of my first viral skits ever on social media was about something like this.
And people were so split in the comments. I would say majority agreed with the bride. But that’s crazy. ’cause this was like a very similar scenario. when we eventually agreed to allow the kids to come. Okay. So she allowed them, it turned out they didn’t actually have tickets. Oh. No. So they lied.
Mm-hmm. That’s so funny. ’cause in that skit, I said like, we don’t know if she’s actually telling the truth or she just wants people to come in. ’cause I’ve, seen it happen before at many weddings where they just say that as a way to convince the bride. I actually just read one not long ago where that happened.
Alyssa then told me the whole thing was my fault because I didn’t personally call every family member with kids to explain our child free policy. No, you don’t need to call everybody that It’s a child free policy if it’s on the invitation and the save the date or the website. It’s implied as well as when you do, your invitations or your address on the invitation, all it needs to say is the exact names.
So if you’re not inviting and family, you’re not putting and family, if everyone in the family is invited, put all their names or say, and family. If you’re just inviting the couple, just put the couple’s names or Mr. And Mrs. Last name, Mr. And Mr. Last name. You know, whatever that looks like. Just don’t put and family right.
So you don’t need to call every family member and say that. She also implied that I was intentionally excluding her favorite cousin, which made it feel very personal. Okay, number three, while discussing Airbnb rooming options, I floated some ideas, but nothing was set in stone. She then ran to one of the groomsmen and told them he’d be stuck rooming with the loudest snore.
This caused a fight between us and him, even though no arrangements had been finalized. So she’s just stirring the pot. Like she just wants to start some drama it sounds like, but also like why would then it start a fight if like he didn’t actually hear it from you? When we confronted her, she snapped.
I’m your bridesmaid. It’s my responsibility to share information. No, it’s not. Then she proceeded to share all of our private planning details with our entire friend group. Gosh, I’m wondering if there was any red flags about this girl before inviting her to be a bridesmaid. My guess is no, because why would you bri invite somebody to be a bridesmaid that’s acting that way?
Number four. Every time I asked for help, and I’m not just saying number four myself, she like listed it all out. I think because there’s just so many random things that happened. every time I asked for help, she wouldn’t answer her phone The night before the wedding, instead of being helpful, she was busy schmoozing and playing host.
Despite having had no hand in any of the planning, I ended up missing most of my rehearsal dinner because I was still behind on decorating. Okay. This is where I’m gonna play devil’s advocate. It’s not your bridesmaid’s fault that decorating took a little too long and you missed your rehearsal dinner.
If you’re rehearsal like you are the bride, I would say they can’t start the rehearsal dinner until you’re there, or we’re cutting decorating early. There’s no way I would be missing my rehearsal dinner. And it’s not your bridesmaid’s fault. Sorry. I know. I’m sorry. I’m gonna play devil’s advocate. Okay.
A Wedding Week Tantrum: The Tinder Date Standoff
Last little section here. Meanwhile, my father-in-law and brother-in-law caused a major fight. Two days before the wedding, the brother-in-law wanted to bring a Tinder date to the wedding because he didn’t wanna be alone. That is so funny. Oh my gosh. So I did that viral skit about someone when you bring a Tinder date, and that was when I wrote myself, I didn’t even see this.
And it was just about that and how bad it was. It was the girl bringing a Tinder date though. When my fiance told him no, he freaked out yelling, how could you do this to me? People were commenting on that video and they were like, there’s no way someone would wanna bring a Tinder date. Apparently they do.
How could you do this to me? Then he ran to title to their dad, who also blew up, telling my fiance, your brother will remember this for the rest of his life. It’s not that serious. You wanna bring a Tinder date so someone, presumably you just met to your brother’s wedding, like you have all your family there.
Just, oh my gosh, this about our wedding. Mind you the same brother. Okay, here we go. More details. Had recently broken up with his girlfriend and when I asked him weeks before if she’d still be coming, he said no, he’d be coming alone. There we go. So he is trying to, make them feel bad, but he’s the one that said, I’m becoming alone.
He wants like a revenge girlfriend. This is so funny because it’s almost the exact opposite of what I did for the skit. Like I had a bridesmaid bring a Tinder date. She had just broken up with her boyfriend, so she wanted like a revenge date. okay. She ends with, then suddenly during the wedding week, he threw a tantrum about it.
That sounds like his problem. Oh my gosh. I read these stories and I feel so lucky I do not have this drama at my wedding. I have to like reiterate that guys, because so many people still comment like. Oh my gosh. Did you start these skits because of drama with your family or your husband’s family? And I was like, no, our families were drama free.
I get along with my in-laws very well. I get along with my parents very well. There was no drama. It was just how it was meant to be. I don’t mean that to be like, oh, yay, but like, we just knew what we wanted. I can’t believe how people act sometimes. I think it’s also like. My husband and I, Zach, like we have been a part of so many people’s weddings over the years.
Like we are one of the later ones to get married, and we’ve been together a long time, and so it’s like we had been a part of so many weddings and been there for so many people that I think it was just like. Everyone just like knew it was like our time. I don’t know, but I cannot believe hearing that.
All right guys, well that is the story for this week. thanks for hanging out with me again. If you have not subscribed to my newsletter list to get part one free for a Ferris and Sloan, please do that now. You’ll get it in your inbox right away. And then of course, pre-order my brand new book. Here comes the drama of Ferris and Stone Story.
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Thanks guys, and I’ll see ya next time. Bye.