relationship dynamics

Makeup Artist Drama, Reality TV, and Toxic Bridesmaid Who Ruins the Wedding with Antoinette

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

What kind of bridesmaid shows up in white to your bridal shower… with her mom in a matching “bride” sash?

Christa and Antoinette start off with some fun chatter about Antoinette’s heroic job before jumping into the wild tale of Erica, the bridesmaid who just couldn’t stand not being the center of attention. From sulking on a pontoon boat to hijacking the bridal shower, her jealousy turned every moment into a spectacle.

This episode is full of outrageous behavior, red flags in friendships, and lessons on boundaries, jealousy, and protecting your peace while planning your big day.

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month!

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

01:59 Discovering Antoinette on TikTok

02:25 Balancing Nursing and TikTok

03:27 First Viral Content: Love Island

05:03 Reality TV and Pop Culture Commentary

06:14 The Rise of Love Is Blind

10:42 TikTok Drama and Content Creation

25:22 Nursing Career and Personal Insights

28:30 Wedding Stories and Hot Takes

41:55 Unexpected Skit Request

42:22 Reality TV and Bridal Parties

43:00 Wedding Expectations and Realities

45:44 Rapid Fire Wedding Questions

49:52 Wild Wedding Story: Erica’s Drama

01:09:58 Reflecting on Toxic Friendships

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

Jealous Bridesmaid – Erica sulks during a boat ride after hearing about her friend’s engagement, igniting a downward spiral of jealousy.
Disrespectful Comments – The moment Erica’s jealousy flares when she makes a rude comment about the bride’s proposal ring.
Bridal Shower Drama – Erica shows up in white at the bride’s bridal shower, making the event all about herself.
Bachelorette Trip Tantrum – Erica and her boyfriend’s constant complaints and early departure from the bachelorette weekend.
Bridal Shower Exit – Erica leaves the shower early with an excuse, hinting at deeper unresolved issues.
Blocked & Uninvited – After a final confrontation, Erica blocks the bride and bridesmaids, effectively ending the friendship.
Red Flags & Final Decisions – The bride reflects on the red flags in Erica’s behavior and why she should have cut ties earlier.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“Some friendships are just meant to be a chapter, not the whole book.” – Christa Innis
“When a bridesmaid makes it all about herself, that’s a red flag bigger than your wedding dress.” – Christa Innis
“Jealousy isn’t the problem, how you act on it is what matters.” – Christa Innis
“Your wedding is for celebration, not for managing other people’s insecurities.” – Christa Innis
“If a friend’s making your big day miserable, it might be time to reconsider the friendship.” – Christa Innis
“Jealousy is just information. How you handle it is the real test.” – Antoinette
“If you’re not happy for your friend, maybe it’s time for some self-reflection.” – Antoinette
“A true friend would never make your moment about their own issues.” – Antoinette
“There’s no timeline for happiness. Every couple moves at their own pace.” – Antoinette
“At the end of the day, it’s your wedding. Not a competition.” – Antoinette

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

About Antoinette:

Meet Antoinette (@msrazzledazzle), your reality TV and pop culture bestie. With over 37K followers and 3.2 million likes on TikTok, she’s built a vibrant community around her sharp takes, playful commentary, and unapologetic love for all things drama. From Love Island to Black Mirror, Antoinette dives into the juiciest corners of reality TV with wit, warmth, and a dash of razzle-dazzle. Whether she’s spilling tea or breaking down the latest season of Summer House, she brings a voice that’s both relatable and razor-sharp.

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Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

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A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi Antoinette. Thank you for coming on.

Antoinette: Hi. Excited to have, thank you for having me. I was gonna say, excited to have you.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh.

Antoinette: Thank you.

Christa Innis: I have been so, I’ve, I’ve been so guilty of saying stuff like that. Like I remember years ago going to like the movie theater and asking them like, or no, you order like food or something, and they’re like, enjoy your movie.

And you’re like, thanks, you too.

Antoinette: Yeah, right.

It’s just like you’re on autopilot a lot of times. You’re like, oh, you too. Oh, you too.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. It literally happens all the time. I’m just like, yeah. And it’s funny now, like my daughter’s too, but there’s times where I’m like, oh, um. Like, what was, how, I don’t even, I’ll ask a question. She just goes, good. And I’m like, well, that’s like if someone says, how are you? But it’s just like, it’s funny.

Anyways, thank you for coming on. I’m excited to have you here. Um, I know we were talking before that I just, I, I found you on TikTok. I love your content, your banter, if you will. Um, and I think that’s just like perfect for this, um, for this podcast.

Um, so you are a labor and delivery nurse by day and you banter about pop culture at night. I mean, I don’t know if it’s necessarily at night. Tell us a little more about yourself. You, and, um, I’d love to hear more.

Antoinette: I am a day nurse. ’cause you know, there are some people who only do night shifts. I am, I’m a day girly.

Okay. I can’t, I can’t do the night shift stuff. So I am a labor and delivery nurse by day, but we do like 12 hour shifts, so I’m not working every day, but I do. Um, so it’s basically like three to four days a week that I am a labor and delivery nurse. And then basically at night or the days I have off, I do, um.

Or if I have a break or more of my breaks if I try to fit it in there, you know?

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Um, but yeah, that’s, um, then I’ll do my TikTok stuff, which, um, I actually only started a year ago. Um, my fiance was like, I loved watching reality tv, and then I was always searching for other people’s takes and stuff, and then also like calling my friends and being like, oh my God, da da da dah.

And then also telling him like, um, because he also watches with me now, so like, then I’m like, oh my God, blah, blah, blah. And he’s like, well, I mean, you’re always searching for it. You’re always watching people’s takes. Like, why don’t you like, do your own? And I was like, mm-hmm. Okay. Like, yeah, why not? So.

Christa Innis: Yes.

Antoinette: Yeah. And then it, the really fun.

The Reality TV Chaos Behind the Scenes

Christa Innis: What was, what was the first like, show or thing in pop culture that like either really took off or the first like content you made about, do you remember?

Antoinette: So the first content I made about was actually Love Island season six.

Christa Innis: Oh, okay.

Antoinette: Yeah. And uh, it honestly like, really, ’cause I was getting really revved up because I felt like people were like really misunderstanding Serena and being like, oh, she doesn’t like Cordell.

And I was like, I think she does, I think she’s just like really protecting herself. Um, and so then I I, I was like feeling fired up about it and I was like, okay, fine, I’m gonna do it on this one. Um, but I feel like something that, like, I feel the season it wasn’t Love Island that like, I think really spearheaded things.

Like, for me, like, I think I got a lot of exposure during The Love Is Blind DC um,

Christa Innis: Ooh, I’m trying, yeah. I, I watched Love Is Blind. Trying to remember who, who was on that one.

Antoinette: Um, uh, Lier. Uh, we call him. I, um, Tyler, is it Tyler? I feel like I’m not, I only call him Lier, but like, because he lied. Oh my God. He like had those three children and it was like, there was all this drama about like, um, how he had these two children, but he called them sper donors and then his fiance like, believed him and like there was all like, and then his baby mama came out to be like, no.

Like, the first one was a sperm donor situation, but the other two were not. Like, we made those ourselves.

Christa Innis: Wow.

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: I must have stopped right before that season ’cause they don’t look familiar to me. I just.

Antoinette: Okay.

Christa Innis: I like religiously watched it in the beginning and then like, I think I watched the first three seasons and then I just like shot. There’s like, oh my God, there’s a new season. Wait, there’s a new season. It was wild.

Antoinette: There’s so many, like it’s so, honestly I feel like there’s like almost three feels like, but I think there’s like two seasons a year. That’s what. I think there’s like two seasons a year, but it feels like there’s three. Like I feel like there’s always one coming out.

Christa Innis: There’s always, yeah. Because I think if you like sleep on it for a little bit, all of a sudden there’s another one.

Antoinette: Yeah. Yeah. Netflix is really on their zoom with it, honestly. Yeah.

Christa Innis: And the first one came out in like 2020. Right. Because I feel like I remember being locked down.

Antoinette: Yes.

Christa Innis: And I was like, I’m about to binge watch this show. I care what it is. It was that in Tiger King that I was like, what’s going my.

Antoinette: Oh my God. Yes. Oh my God. I forgot about that. That was so good.

Christa Innis: That was wild. My husband and I were just like, what is this?

Antoinette: That was insane. Oh, that was good tea. That was good tv. And we weren’t doing anything like we were locked in.

Christa Innis: We were living for, yeah, we were living for like, like.

Antoinette: You said, like any morsel.

Christa Innis: Yes.

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. The, the pods. ’cause they must have started. Because I feel like the pods were because of COVID. I don’t know, maybe it was written before that. I don’t know.

But those, I dunno, man. I feel like it really took off because of like, everyone was at home just watching TV and then they’re like, what’s this show? Okay, I guess we’ll watch it. And then it just blew you up on so.

Antoinette: And then blew up. And then Lauren and Cameron, I mean they’re still like the the, what’s it called?

Christa Innis: Yes. I love them.

Antoinette: You know, they’re just so, and now you know, Lauren’s pregnant, so that’s just so beautiful.

Christa Innis: Honestly, they’re just so that I love them. Yeah, from the beginning. ’cause they were just so like, and I always feel like the first season, they’re the most like real because they’re not in it all for the tv. ‘Cause they don’t know how big the show’s gonna be. They’re like, well let’s try it out. But seasons after, I feel like people just sign up. ’cause they’re like, oh, I’m gonna get social media famous.

Antoinette: A hundred percent. And we’re like really seeing that now, especially like. I, I think it was Love is blind. You really want them to be genuine because like, you’re gonna get married.

Like, you know, and I think some of these other ones, dating ones, it’s like, it doesn’t necessarily fully have to be genuine, but like, I do think a lot of them, like love is love island. I do think people, you know, people wanna be influencers, like, you know, but at the same time they’re pretty young and you’re not thinking of marriage or just thinking of dating.

So they could actually end up liking each other and dating. And it doesn’t have to be like, but like with Love is Blind. I do think people are like, they wanna be influencers, but then it’s like you end up having to think about like, are you willing to get engaged and married to somebody just to be an influencer?

That’s pretty big.

Christa Innis: That’s wild.

Antoinette: Yeah. The concept is wild to me. Like when they were like moving them into these apartments together, I was like, you don’t this, you don’t know this guy. Like

what are you doing? Nothing about them. You don’t just what they told you on the other side. Just like what we found about life.

Like, you know, nothing. Mm-hmm. Like whatever they decide to tell you. And I do think there’s a lot of people who like. In these later seasons into finding out some really messed up stuff. Really? And like, like one of the girls, I think on UK like Sabrina, she was like, he didn’t even have his own place. Like he was living with like roommates and then he like wasn’t even willing to go, like they were living in different parts of the uk.

He wasn’t even willing to go, go see her. But like, he couldn’t even afford to, so she didn’t even know that like, oh wait, like you actually really like aren’t in a place. I mean, it’s one thing if you like start dating someone and you know, they’re like financial status, but like, I really do think they should check.

I was like, are you even in, even in a place to be married, you know, to like, to put somebody first to even financially support yourself. Like in a good well, or like, not, there’s anything wrong with having roommates, but you know what I mean? Like, yeah. Like this guy I think was like 37 and like she, I think he didn’t really give all those details, which I think a lot of people would assume at three seven, like, okay, you might not have everything together, but you probably financially

are.

Christa Innis: A little more.

Antoinette: A little bit more

Christa Innis: established.

Antoinette: Established, yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: I think, or at least like con like. Communicate about like, Hey, I had some financial issues, or This is what’s going on here. Because there was that other guy, I don’t know what season this was, maybe two or three, where they got like towards the end and it came out. He had all this debt and there was something like he was lying about, I can’t remember their names, I can’t remember their names, but I know what you’re talking about.

We weren’t like parody a lot.

Antoinette: Social media. I know what you’re talking about. Wait, shoot. Uh, I don’t remember. Yeah, I dunno means there, but yeah, but there’s that too. And it’s like if you get married, your dad, your dad is their dad. Like so that can really mess somebody stuff up.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. That was, oh, there wa one of the first couples, Barnett.

Antoinette: Yeah. Amber and Barnett. Amber, yeah.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. They, that was something like, she was like, Hey, I have a lot of debt, and they like moved in together. He had a, he had a house already, but I think he like sold it to help pay for the debt. I mean, as far as I know, they’re still together, so, I mean.

Antoinette: Yeah. And they have a kid like, and they were like.

Christa Innis: Oh, I didn’t know that.

Antoinette: Yeah. They were child and everything and she, yeah, she, but she was upfront about it. Yeah, they, she, she was upset about it, so like, or married. So it’s one of those things where it’s like, if you know all that stuff and you’re still willing, then that’s, that’s one thing. Like she was upfront about it. He was still willing.

So it’s like, okay, cool. That’s, that’s on you, you know?

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like reality TV is just like wild to me. I feel like Bachelor, I used to watch Bachelor pretty regularly too, and then I kind of just like, then Bachelor in Paradise was like fun ’cause they all come together.

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: But I’ve kind of slowly stopped watching because I feel like they always just go on to be like, influencers and I’m just like, I don’t know.

I can’t really get into it anymore. It’s just.

Antoinette: Yeah. I honestly have never, I mean, I keep trying for mo mostly for content. Like, every time it comes out I’m like, okay, I’m gonna try and I just can’t get into it. So it’s like, you’ll, you’ll probably see every, you’ll probably see me, make me make one post and then just nothing else because I’m like, I just can’t get into it.

Like, I feel like it’s so overly produced too, and it just feels so fake. Like. You found 20 men or 20 women that are interested in this one person. Mm-hmm. Not saying that they couldn’t all necessarily, but like you didn’t, it’s not like they met this person. They were like, oh, the, you, they, the 20 people met this person, or you had them meet like a hundred people and these are the 20 that were like, oh, I’m actually interested in this person.

Like, you just found 20 people or whatever. Mm-hmm. I was like, it just doesn’t feel organic and then it’s just vying for one person. It just feels weird, honestly. Like.

Christa Innis: Totally.

Antoinette: I love dating shows, but that one, that’s just one I can’t get into.

Christa Innis: Yeah, no, and you make it such a good point because, and it, it brings me back, ’cause again, I haven’t watched probably in like five plus seasons.

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: But it’s like, they’re like, oh, he’s my dream guy, she’s my dream girl. And I’m like, you would’ve said that about any person they brought on as a bachelor master. Right. And be no unbeknownst to you, like last season they were a nobody. You know what I’m saying? Like, they came on as like a random person too. It’s like exactly. I dunno.

Antoinette: I was like, you literally know nothing about these people. Uh, most of ’em don’t even get like, really a lot of screen time. So it’s like you just saw like a couple dates with whoever they were with on last season, and then now you’re like, that’s your dream person. Like. You don’t know anything about them, like Yeah, and I feel like we also saw that with Jen, like obviously like ev, all those men basically didn’t even know it was gonna be Jen.

They thought it was gonna be, what’s her name, that other, that other girl that was like really famous on Joey’s season. They all thought it was gonna be a. Somebody a different bachelorette, and that set her up for complete failure, honestly. Like, and then, ugh, that scammer Devin, like that was whole, I mean, like, I like tried to, but I was like, I mostly was like scrolling, watching things because, because I was like, I keep up with it, but I’m like, I can’t watch a whole episode.

And I, I literally can’t.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I know every once in I went.

Antoinette: You’re like two hours long too. I’m like, ah, Jesus.

Christa Innis: I know it’s, well, there’ll be like three hour season finale and I’m like, who’s got the time?

Antoinette: But why? And most of it’s not even needed. I was like, okay, this really could have been cut down.

Christa Innis: Literally.

Antoinette: Like, there’s just like a lot of different montages with like music. It’s just so gimmicky.

Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s literally them picking out rings, walking down the street through tears in their eyes, picking out their dress. And I’m like, Ugh, come on. She’s like, speed it up. Speed it up. Please. We can do this all in 10 minutes.

Let’s just tell us who picked who she picked. Yes, I know. It’s wild. Like I just, yeah. I. Props with anyone that goes on. I just, that’s just not, yeah. Not my cup of tea. That’s why I like Bachelor in Paradise better. So I have a confession. I’ve never watched Love Island. Oh, it’s everywhere. But this last season makes me wanna watch because the, the viral like sounds and stuff.

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: But maybe I should try it. I’ve had people tell me to watch it.

Antoinette: I think you should. I think I would watch, like, watch season six of the U of USA. Okay. I think season five and season six of USA are really good. Um, the uk I also think season five of UK is really, really, really good. Okay. Um, UK It started in uk so there’s like a lot more seasons.

Um, even Love Island Australia, I can’t remember what season. It wasn’t the latest one I think, or it was the one before last was really, really good. So I do, I really love, love Island. I feel like it’s just. Like, you know, people are on there to be influencers, but it’s also just like a dating show. You know?

Like, I mean, they’re all dating shows, but you know what I mean? But it’s also just like, uh, people being there. They get to meet each other, they get to, and like, there are definitely, you’re gonna, like, a lot of them are good looking. You’re gonna like somebody, you know what I mean? They all, and then there’s just like more like organic drama as well as they don’t allow them to get drunk.

Like the, each day they get like maybe this amount of alcohol. That’s it. Okay. I like that. Um, so it also feels like not, so you’re not as worried about some of the, like, you know what I’m talking about? Like, uh, possible things that can happen if people are like inebriated, like, you know, that they’re making decisions sober.

Um, especially if there’s anything like sexual that goes on, right. Especially because with that, you know, you do end up in there, they do end up sleeping in the same bed as the guy, as a couple that they choose and all that stuff. So, um, and they do seem to have, like, even though I feel like this season in the USA, they did not do very good job of like really doing background checks. There’s a lot of racial stuff coming out. Um.

Christa Innis: I did think that about someone.

Antoinette: Yeah. So they really haven’t like, done good background checks on people, but like in general, I do think they have some pretty cool things in place, like consent wise, like there, there’s just a light that they have in the back of the bed.

Like, so if things start happening, both people have to press it to be like, I consent to what’s happening. And if it’s not pressed, then production gets involved in like no stuff.

Christa Innis: Oh, okay. That’s a good step. Because I remember hearing years ago, like bachelor, something like happened on one of the shows and they like limit them now to certain alcohol too, because people would be like getting inebriated and saying stuff or doing inappropriate things.

Um, that was a bachelor in Paradise thing too. I remember. They were like, oh, we’re only allowed to have like. Two drinks an hour or one drink an hour maybe. Oh, wow. Because yeah, you see, yeah.

Antoinette: With them it’s literally one glass and that’s it.

Christa Innis: Wow.

Antoinette: Like there’s, there’s a whole usually scenes at night where like there, or sometimes at night where you’ll see a scene where they like, are all going up to this table and it’s just like, there’s drinks sitting out already with like a little umbrella.

And that’s, that’s their serving of their alcohol, who they get.

Christa Innis: Okay.

Antoinette: Well that’s, I know. I was like, that’s, I, I just think it’s like, it makes you feel a little bit better, but not that like, there’s not any, some type of like, oh my God, these like crappy men on here, whatever. Right, right. But I was like, well, now you know that this person’s.

Crappy sober. Okay. Like they, they’re just.

Christa Innis: He got no excuse. No, no. I know. It’s crappy.

Antoinette: It’s not a drunk child. This is who this person is. Okay.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think that sounds better too when there’s like multiple, like couple possibilities and not just like one guy and a million girls and vice versa.

Yeah.

Um, and I feel like it also gives like the bachelor, bachelorette or whatever type of show it is when there’s just one guy fending for all these women. It gives them like this like false sense of like, oh, I’m the hottest guy in the room at all times. And it’s like, you’re the only guy, like they would find a rock hot next to you.

Antoinette: You know what I’m saying? Honestly though, like the, the only reason this is working, working is ’cause a, a scarcity mindset that is literally fabricated for this show. Yeah. If you were in any other situation, there would be plenty of other options. Like you are literally the only option that they’ve given.

Yes. So they are, they have to fight for you to stay on the show. Like, remember that? Yes. Like this is like, remember that they’re fighting to stay on the show. Okay.

Christa Innis: Yeah. They’re deprived of any other men, so they’re like, well, this is my dream. Yeah. It’s so, this is my dream man because he’s only man. Oh my God, that’s so funny.

I, yeah, I feel like we would just think too, too logically about that to be on, on a show.

Sisterly Showdown at the Bouquet Toss: Wedding Drama You Won’t Believe!

Okay. So. A little more back about your content. Like what kind of, so I know you’re kind of, you were always talking about your own banter and couldn’t really find anyone that talked about it the way you did. So when did you kind of start seeing it, like take off and do you remember like the first video that really like blew up or, uh, and you said you talked about Love Island, but like, was there one type of content that you’re like, this is it, like people are really connecting or resonating with what I’m saying?

Antoinette: Um, I feel, I mean like Love Island, I started, I feel like I do really feel like it was like love is Blind that like that season that, um, and I think even for me Too, I was around then, like I started like last August. Mm-hmm.

Like around last august for season six and then I. We’re still posting and stuff, but it wasn’t really like, I think last October was when That Love Is Blind came out October, November.

Um, and that’s also when I felt like I was also taking it more like, okay, I’m gonna post every day. I’m gonna like, really, really cover this whole season, you know? ’cause I didn’t even fully cover the whole season of Love Island. Uh, love Island season six. So with the elevens blind season seven, I was like, okay, I’m really gonna, like, I’m gonna post every day.

I’m gonna like, you know, and so I was like also being more intentional about posting. And so I don’t remember what Post was like went, but it, I do remember all of a sudden, like my views started going up. And then also I went from like, I feel like a thousand to like 10,000, like within, within that like between like end of October and November.

Um, and that’s when like, I. Like, like blew, blew up. Like, and I felt like then people were really like also sending me things like, oh, I need to know your take. I need to, and so I got started getting more of that, being like, oh, we haven’t, like, did you see this? Did you see that? Like, and people writing those type of comments, um, or like getting tagged in other people’s videos, like, you know, for certain stuff.

So yeah, I, it was definitely that, that, um, that I felt like I, I started to get a little bit more known and a little bit more, um, like settled in like my like niche or my niche and like my persona, you know?

Christa Innis: Yeah. So do you have any shows that you, like currently watch that you kind of, that you wish more people knew about so you could like commentate on them more? Or are you mainly in the reality like love dating show type?

Antoinette: Um, I mean, I watch a lot of different tv honestly. So like, um, I mean, like, I mostly comment on reality tv. Yeah. Um, and mostly like the, yeah. The loved ones. I try to get into the gaming ones. Like I tried to get into Big, big Brother. Mm-hmm. I just like, it’s, I don’t really understand it, you know, like, and it is also like, there seems to be so much going on, like, so I, I tried this and, and it, it failed.

I don’t know, it didn’t work out for me, but I’m gonna try again. Another, because I really, everyone watches Big Brother. I’m like, I really wanna understand it. Um, okay. But let me answer your question.

Christa Innis: Special Forces.

Antoinette: Special Forces. I haven’t watched that.

Christa Innis: No. I feel like you would like it. It’s like reality, but it’s so like. It’s intense. Like, and there’s reality. Okay, so it’s reality stars put on a competition show, so they’re competing to win special forces. And like they’ve had people like, like Hannah Brown or Nick Vile, or, I’m trying to think of other people. They’re bachelors, but like other, like, there’s, um, celebrities.

Um, so the woman that dated like Travis Kelsey, um, like ca what’s her name? Casey, gosh not, I think of her name. Kayla, Kayla, Nicole. So like, she was on, so like, people like that are big, like celebrities, um, athletes, reality TV stars, and they compete and it’s like really tough competition. They work with actual people from special forces and it’s like intense.

It’s good though ’cause you get the drama, but you also get, like, you see them like. Trying their best to like win at this competition.

Antoinette: Yeah. Ooh, okay. I will have to check that out. I mean, like, I love anything with like drama, honestly. Yeah. I mean, also, like a lot of times on my content, I do like random TikTok drama.

Like, you know, like I, I think there’s also a lot stuff there that like randomly gets flown up for. Like, like I did the Louis Vuitton dress chocolate Louis Vuitton chocolate Yes. Drama. Um, and the girl with the, the dermatology thing that happened, that was like not washing her face, not doing anything. Her

Christa Innis: Yes. Whatever happened with that, was that out?

Antoinette: Um, she got a deal with Sarah V and started washing her face, basically.

Christa Innis: I could not tell if this was like a, um, what’s it called? Where they try to get people mad. What’s it called? Uh.

Antoinette: Rage bait.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I couldn’t tell if it was rage bait.

Antoinette: I couldn’t, I couldn’t either. Part of me feels like it was like, but then they also found like an old post, like a year ago of her having done the same thing, like, but from Reddit. So I don’t know. But Sarah v got involved and like got her to put moisturizer on, and then it started falling off, which I’m like, yeah, because you’re putting, it’s like, not like, uh, like yeah, it’s gonna fall off.

Like, but you have literally not touched your face and you’re building up dirt and old skin cells. Like, I mean, that’s, that’s what’s gonna happen. I mean, I also felt, you know what I mean? So it was like, so like I also do stuff like that where like, so my stuff is like, I have a DD, it’s a little bit a DD too, where I’m like, whatever I’m interested in.

Right. Whatever. I’m interested in that moment. Um, but it is definitely more like reality TV drama and then, um, like TikTok type of drama. Yeah. But I am interested in, like right now I’m watching Huntington Wives on Netflix, and I’m, I was thinking about like. Yes,

Christa Innis: I just heard about this. How is it?

Antoinette: It’s so good. Yeah. It’s so, so, so good. And like sometimes I will, like, I don’t always do, I don’t, for me it’s like not, it’s always, not always for views. So like, maybe I won’t get a lot of views on it. ’cause like, that’s not necessarily my main base. But like, um, like even severance, I did, I did a lot of posts on that because I love that show.

Okay. And I just wanted to talk, talk about it. I was like, somebody will, I was like, I just wanna talk about it.

Christa Innis: So people will come across it.

Antoinette: And yeah, some people will come across it, but like, yeah. So I do watch other things and so I, I guess, yeah, I guess sometimes I do wish that, like, I think it’s hard with the algorithm or from, or whatever, but like I could.

Like, find more people, it would be easier for people to find me that if I’m like doing stuff outside of the, like, reality tv, TikTok, drama, when I, when I am making those con those contents.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. It’s hard to know like what’s gonna like, take off or what people are gonna like, resonate with. Yeah. But that like TikTok drama stuff, man, that like, it goes like fast.

It’s like you gotta like hop on it fast because before you know it, if I don’t, don’t scroll for a couple days. ’cause sometimes like there’s like weeks where I just post and I’m like, I, I don’t have time to scroll or whatever. Yeah. Scroll. I’m like, wait, what’s this drama with so-and-so, what does she do to her?

And I’m like, okay, I have to find out who these people are. It’s wild.

Antoinette: Yes, yes. And some people are really, really on it. And I, and I know for me there’s, at first like I try to like for, you know, I have my. You know, some people it’s a little bit easier to do. I know like there’s some people I follow where it’s like, this is their full-time job.

So like they, they can scroll most of the day. And then like, for me it’s like, it’s not so like, I can’t, so like I, it’s like some stuff, like I’ll have some people write and be like, I want your ticket. I was like, I missed it. Like I missed it. I’m sorry. I was like, I literally do not have time right now.

Like, whatever was my schedule at that time, I’m like, I don’t have time to even comment on this. Like, I’m so sorry. Like, I’m catching babies. Like .

****************************************

Christa Innis: You were out there quite literally saving lives being, I know when you first told me you’re a labor and delivery nurse to her, I was like, how do you do it all?

I was like, you were literally an angel on earth. Oh my gosh.

Antoinette: I’m not sleeping very much.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. Like, I, I always knew nurses were amazing people. My grandma was a, was an ER nurse. Oh. And so I’m like, I always like heard about like, you know, working in the ER and everything, but then it’s like once I had my baby and I was like.

These nurses are just incredible. Like, you guys are just like amazing. So how, this is totally side note and everything, but like how did you get into labor and delivery and like, I mean ?

Antoinette: Well, yeah. I mean, so at first, like, my first like nursing job was actually as a transplant nurse. So I worked, um, inpatient for people on, on a unit that just did, um, uh, what was it called?

Kidneys, livers, um, and pancreatic, some lung transplants, things like that. Mm-hmm. Um, but when I was in nursing school and I did my rounds, I like, I was like, when I, we did our labor rounds, I was like, I had like one. One shift where we like actually got to be in like the labor unit. We did a lot on Mother, baby.

Um, and I was like, oh, this is really fun. Like, I thought I would, like really enjoy it, but I was also a little bit scared because, you know, you can, some stats stuff can happen too, like losses and things. And I’m a very empathetic person. Like I’m one of those people, like, I will cry at movies, I’ll cry.

Like thinking about certain things will start to make me cry honestly. Like I, like I fox in the hound. Even just thinking about them talk will make me cry like you did. So I, I like really empathize very well with people. Like, so I, I was a little bit nervous, so like when I went to go get my first nursing job, I was like, I actually did apply for labor, but then I turned it down because I was like, I don’t know if I can handle it if something happened.

Like, but then I kept thinking about it and I kept thinking about it. Um, so then I was like, okay, I just need to do it. So then I stayed in the same hospital, but I just ended up applying and like, but it was basically ’cause I just kept thinking about it and I was like, I’m like just. I’m really interested.

Like, I was like, obviously I should like just do it then. Um, and so then, you know, it has been really good. Obviously when sad things happened, it says still really like, you know, touch me. Um, but I am able to deal with it. Uh, but like, you know, like everybody, there’s, it just is something that happens, but there’s just so many beautiful moments that happen.

There’s so, it’s so many, like being able to be there for women when they’re going through this, um, or be there for mothers, you know, not everyone identifies as women, but like, uh, being there for mothers when they, when they’re going through this, um. It just feels so beautiful and it, I really love being able to support that process, being able to support the baby and like just being there for that whole thing. So.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh, I love that. No, I love hearing like how people got into nursing and stuff and like their department because, um, yeah, like I said, I was just like, I used to work for a mom and baby burn, and so like, I would talk to like, um, nurses and doulas and, and oh, you know, just people in the field and stuff.

So I’m always just so curious about it. I love, I love that, that kind of stuff. Yeah. Just a little, little side note, but yeah, why not?

Antoinette: I love that.

Christa Innis: Okay. Let’s get into the wedding portion of.

Antoinette: Okay. I’m excited. I didn’t know. I love drama. I was let as.

Christa Innis: Yes, we, we live for the drama here. It’s a good, uh, um, mental break from, from the world and all that, but, okay.

So starting off, do you have any like wild wedding stories or wedding stories that come to mind when you, when you first think of weddings?

Antoinette: Okay. Like, it’s not necessarily wild, but I, when it’s about me, then when, and it was something I was like younger, so I don’t even know why I was doing this, but like I, it was during my sister’s. My oldest sister’s wedding, and when it was the throwing the bouquet part, like, you know, we’re all like vying for it. And then it ends up being, I look up and it’s actually me and I’m like pulling, like, pulling, like trying to get this. And I, I think I just locked in. I was like, I don’t even know why. I’m like, I, what, how old was I?

Even like, I feel like I was like 17. Like I was like, I’m next. What was I doing? Like mean? Like, but I was like, I was like, I’m fighting for this. And then I look up and it was actually my other sister, like, so, and everybody else was gone.

Christa Innis: Do you guys actually pull poll at this?

Antoinette: Yes, we were pulling at this. I just feel like we locked in. Like, I don’t even think, I don’t even know what I was thinking, like, but I was like, I’m getting this. I, I got very competitive at the, but we both did apparently. Um, my other sister were sometimes I actually dating somebody, you know, and she was a little bit older so like, you know, like made more sense.

It just made more sense. Um. But it’s so funny to like watch the video ’cause it’s just like everybody else has gone and just watching us like literally pull for this thing and then like we, I look up and I was like, oh. And I let it go. I was like, oh. I was like, so sorry.

Christa Innis: Something just came over me. I’m sorry.

Antoinette: Yeah. I was like, I dunno what’s going on.

Christa Innis: Like, like the sister thing. We’ll just let them

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Figure it out.

Antoinette: Yeah. Gosh.

Christa Innis: I’ve been to weddings where people get pretty like, vicious over like the, the bouquet toss or like push people out the way. And I’m like, yeah guys, so it’s gonna be okay.

Antoinette: It’s, it’s gonna be fine. It’s gonna be fine. I, but sometimes it’s just a competitive nature, you know? That takes over. I, I can’t tell you what I was thinking. I don’t think I was, I think, I think I just had it and I was like, it would.

Christa Innis: You’re like, okay, you can take it.

Antoinette: Yeah. I was like, oh, ooh. My bad dresser.

Christa Innis: It’s so funny ’cause I remember going like to weddings in like my early twenties, so I don’t even know if I was with my now husband yet, but like, I’d be at weddings and like I was in that mind frame where I was like, I don’t wanna get married for a while.

And the bouquet would come and I would just look at it and just step back. Yeah. I’m like, someone else take it. There’s been a few weddings like that where like no one grabs it and I’m like, oh man. We’re all just like.

Antoinette: Yeah. Like everyone’s like, oh, don’t, don’t jinx me. Yeah. Like we’re not

Christa Innis: Times have changed. Yeah, exactly. We’re waiting a little longer these days. No. Um, that’s so funny. Um, oh my gosh. I love that because, uh, it’s one of those things where like people are either like so into like the bouquet toss and garter toss and other people are like, no. Like, I always ask my audience like, what are your unpopular opinions?

And I would say like, I. Most of the time one of those come up as like, don’t do it. Like, people are like, don’t do the garter toss. It’s weird. Don’t do the bouquet toss. It’s starts fights. And I’m just like, it’s interesting how, how the dynamic has kind of changed on those.

Antoinette: Yeah. I do think, like, I think it’s one of those things where I think it can start, right?

But also I think it’s one of those things where like, it’s very easy to like get dangerous really quickly because like, yeah, people are like jumping and like, you know, there could be an elbow. Like, it’s not even like you’re trying to like do, but it’s like, I, I think for my own, I don’t think I probably would do it.

Like, just ’cause I don’t, I don’t know if anyone that’s coming would fight over it, but like, I also just like, don’t want any accident ac you know, any accidents to happen over, like just throwing this thing.

Christa Innis: I know I, I didn’t do them at my wedding and I was just telling someone a while back, but I was like, honestly, like I am not very um. Athletic. Yeah. So I could see myself throwing the bouquet, hitting someone in the face, separation, breaking something. So I’m like, not just not throwing anything.

Antoinette: But it might not even go where everybody is.

Christa Innis: How embarrassing would that be? I throw it. I don’t.

Antoinette: Exactly and I don’t want be embarrassed.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I’m like, let’s just take that away. Um, yeah. I love that.

From TikTok Stunts to Bridal Party Boundaries: Wedding Drama Gets Real

Christa Innis: Okay. Here are some hot takes that people have sent in and we can just kind of share our opinions on them. Okay. Um, this says. If you need a content day during your wedding week, you’re not planning a marriage, you’re planning a pro, you’re producing a mini series.

So they’re saying, like, I, I’ve heard of this more, more and more now with weddings. Like people are so concerned with the overall look that they’ll like, do, like, they’ll plan out content like during their video or during their day. Like they’ll film stuff or do like, tiktoks have a TikTok section. Um, I’ve never been a part of one that does that, but yeah, either this person must have seen it.

Antoinette: So they’re saying if you’re planning con, then you’re, what? What’s that last part they said?

Christa Innis: You’re not thinking about planning a marriage, you’re more about producing, like producing something like a mini series.

Antoinette: Hmm. You know what I can see, I feel like I have two ideas about it. I can see how like, yes, I feel like that could be true for a lot of people where it’s like, if you’re so focused on that and.

Also like doing different con, I mean, I think financially too, like how much money are you putting into this? Are you thinking about your life later? All that stuff. But then I also can think like, hey, but maybe somebody is like a, like they really like tiktoks. They really like, you know what I mean? Like that’s kinda like their thing.

They’re like, they’re always doing like content stuff. So then why wouldn’t they have that to be a part of their wedding too? Because it’s representing them.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Um, and if this is how you envisioned it, I don’t think that’s a big deal. As long as like, as long as it’s not like, oh my God, like this, this, okay, you guys don’t do this TikTok, right.

Blah, blah, blah. Like, right. But if it’s like, if it’s just for fun and you’re like, I want my day to be full of like different times that I can capture the day and I want. Then, I don’t know. Do you boo?

Christa Innis: Yeah. I think if the other parties are okay with it and it’s like your day and you like, tell people we’re gonna do this, it’s fine.

I’ve seen Have you seen, did you see the TikTok drama talking about TikTok drama? There was a photographer that No, she was, this is okay. She was a makeup artist that was hired for a wedding. But, um, and there were other photo, there were photographers there, but she had her own plans for tiktoks to be filmed during the day.

So like, literally they were done with makeup and she is going around doing, having the bridesmaids and bride do tiktoks while they have like another timeline.

Antoinette: Wait, wait, wait. This is the ma and she was like, involved. Yes, I know exactly what you’re talking about.

Christa Innis: And then she caught in her car saying they treated her horribly kicking.

Antoinette: Yeah. Honestly, this is one of, one of my things that also blew up for me. Really? Like in the way, in the really beginning for me. Yes. Um, I know exactly. Oh my God, I remember this just of it. She was unhinged. Yeah, she was unhinged. Like even in the first look, she was like, she was there and in the photos making it all about her.

Yes. And the brides were crying. She’s like, okay guys. Okay. Like, that’s too much crying. I was like, why aren’t you still here? Yeah. She stayed the whole day. She stayed and then yeah, she kept making them do tiktoks. Then when it was time for like the after party for the reception, she was still trying to get tiktoks.

Yes. I, and then they tried to kick her. Yeah. Then they tried to kick her out and then she was like, she left and then she came back. She was like, no, you know what? I’m not gonna let them like bully me. And she went back. I was like, yes. I was like, no. It was crazy. I was like, I don’t understand why you’re not getting it, but you, she was like, oh my God, we were having such a good time.

We were kiking. And I was like, not for you to stay the whole day. No’s not for you to stay the whole day.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I didn’t make any said, oh, the groomsmen? Or, she said someone invited her and they were probably just like being like friendly. Like, oh oh, like in, no.

Antoinette: Yeah. Basically like, the bride, like, I think was like, kept being like, oh, okay.

Oh, okay. Like, and I think she like, just was just very kind, you know, like, and like maybe just didn’t wanna like do any confrontation. But then I, it wasn’t until like the groom later at the reception. Was like, okay. No. ’cause he was tired. Like, ’cause he didn’t actually agree to any of the things that the bride Right.

You know what I mean? Um, had said yes to and then the bride was like, no, no. Like he’s just upset. It’s okay. But then she left and it’s like, why didn’t you take the hint from the groom? Like, she’s like, well you know what, my bride, that’s what she said. She’s like, my bride wants me there. It’s like, no, she doesn’t.

Okay. But also it’s the groom’s wedding too. And he asked you to leave?

Christa Innis: Yeah. And leave how awkward that is. Like she’s probably just like, the bride’s probably just trying to enjoy her day. Doesn’t wanna start. Yes. ’cause in our minds, you know, it’s like, oh, I don’t wanna start drama. But it’s like, no, she’s literally viol, not violating, but like crossing all the boundaries at the wedding.

Antoinette: All the boundaries.

Christa Innis: She’s the makeup artist. She’s hired, she did her job. And I feel like she was even like drinking or something during makeup. Yes. Showing her drinking. Yes. All these things. And then what kills me is then like. She makes this video bashing the bride and groom showing the, like all their video footage before their, like, before they even posted to make herself look like the victim.

And I’m like, no.

Antoinette: Oh my God. I knew it. So left for her. Like no one would have even known about it if she didn’t make that video. Like the bride and groom, because they aren’t even social media people. They would not have even, no one even known about it.

Mm-hmm. She could have just have ruined this wedding and nobody would’ve known.

Yeah. But then she went online. I know she made this whole series blasted them, put their videos, their faces. Oh my God. That was crazy. Even like the bridesmaids were getting in the comments and being like, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like this is not okay. And then somebody else, like there was another MUA that had worked with her in the past and she’s like, oh no, she’s unhinged.

She’s unhinged. Like, oh yeah. So much came out about that woman.

Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s, that’s wild when you’re putting your content in front of your client, like Yes. That’s the thing that like, like obviously like I love social media, I love like the connections and stuff, but you have to always put like your job first.

There’s so many people that are like, oh, I wanna create content. And it’s like, well this is not the place or the time. Like as a makeup artist Yeah. Do their before and after and be like, Hey, can I post this? You know? But you have to always check in with your client first. They might not wanna be posted and Yeah, they might not want you hanging out all day and.

Antoinette: Yeah. But she kept being like, well, they agreed to content, but they didn’t agree to like every single content that you like. I think she probably thought you were just doing the look content that a lot of like people do where it’s like, okay, they did the before and then they do the after. I didn’t think, she didn’t think you were gonna be following her around all day trying to get her.

It was like, I can’t remember. I can like hear the song in my head, but I can’t think of. I can’t say it all, but there was like, I can remember the TikTok thing that she was trying to make and she was just trying to go throughout the day. The groom, you were never even a part of the grooms party, but then you involved them. ‘Cause you’re like, well I need the grooms. And I was like, that’s when you know you’ve gone too far. Does it, does the content fit with the service that you’re doing? Right. I think you have to think about that. And does it fit within the timeframe of the service that you’re doing or are you going beyond that?

You know, also, like maybe you, if it’s something where like, I don’t, things are taking long, maybe you won’t get your content. Like, but exactly what you said, like the service should come first. Yeah. And then the content, like I, you know, like, but someone agreeing to make tiktoks with you doesn’t mean they’re agreeing to like literally every single thing that you came up under the sun.

Christa Innis: Yeah, no. 100%. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I can’t believe that. Just like came back like that. That was one of those where like, I think I took a few days off and I came back on and like I got a couple messages. Someone tagged me, they’re like, Christa, can you please make a skit about this? I didn’t. I think I just kind of talked about it.

’cause I was like, it’s so fresh. Like, I don’t know, like this is kind of wild. Like yeah, I watched all the videos and I was like, oh my gosh, this is an unhinged, like seriously insane. Yeah.

Um, okay. This last hot take says reality TV. Weddings have convinced people that bridal parties are unpaid extras. Oh.

Antoinette: Um, interesting reality. Tv. Bachelor parties, they said weddings. Oh, our unpaid extras. Is this more like, I think they were saying that like people are taking advantage of the bridal party basically.

But I feel like people have been doing that for like, even before reality TV stuff.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I don’t actually reality tv.

Antoinette: Yeah. I think it’s just some people do take advantage of the bridal party. Um, I think some people don’t realize that like, yeah, of course, like these people wanna be here for you. Um, but like, it’s not, and, and it’s like, it’s, it’s not like in, you can’t just like ask like endless amount of things. Um, you can’t also just ask people to like put all their money into your wedding or into like the bridesmaids dress or whatever, or, or whatever the makeup that they have to do or, you know, what have you.

Um, also like that whole year is not literally about you to. Everybody else in your life. Yeah. It’s like, it’s about you for you and your spouse, but like everybody else’s life is still going on. I mean, like, I have things to do. We got things to do, but I do know that I feel like there’s a lot of people who are like, you’re not really supporting me right now.

Like, I feel like you’re not doing enough for the way I was like, what are you talking about, dude? Like, I have a life. Like I will help you, but like, I’m not making a full-time job out of helping you for your wedding.

Christa Innis: Right. The world doesn’t stop because you’re getting married. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I’ve seen wild stories where bridesmaids get mad or brides get mad because their bridesmaids are pregnant or their bridesmaids get, uh, also get engaged and it’s like you don’t get claims to the whole there, there.

I mean like I had two, uh, pregnant bridesmaids and I was like, don’t feel like you have to come to anything. Your baby and your health comes first.

Antoinette: Like yeah, I mean life happens. Like, if it’s not, like, let’s say like you had like a destination wedding and one of the people got pregnant, like on like, if, if it’s that time for me, my life for me that I wanna get pregnant, I’m gonna, I’m not gonna like be like, oh no, we gotta hold off a year.

Yeah. ’cause so and so’s, you know, just in case, like, that’s not what’s gonna happen. And I think that’s absolutely crazy when people do that. I think that’s like, literally you need to get your head checked. That’s not cool. Yeah. Like that. Like you’re, you’re way too self-centered. But I think a lot of times it’s like there are probably signs about that person.

Before, yeah. You know, before the wedding there were probably signs about the person that they were pretty selfish. Mm-hmm. Um, and then it just went to like, kind of the nth degree when they felt like they had an excuse to be their most selfish shelf.

Christa Innis: Yes. Like they hear it like, oh, it’s your bride’s day.

Antoinette: So they’re like, yep. The court. Yes, exactly. They’re like, okay, well now I get to be exact you know.

Christa Innis: Here’s my notebook. Yes. Oh my God, that’s so true. Because yeah, you hear it time and time again. It’s like, oh, it’s a bride’s day. It’s your moment. So then they’re like, oh, I’ve, I’ve been waiting for this.

Antoinette: Yes.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: But it’s not, that’s the funny part. It’s your day. It’s your day. Not your year. Not your year, your day.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And we gotta have, we gotta have, respect people’s life and their boundaries too.

Antoinette: Yes. A hundred percent.

Wedding Drama Rapid Fire: From Jealous Bridesmaids to Reality TV Proposals!

Christa Innis: Okay. Before we get to this week’s wild wedding story that we’ll react to, um, we’ll do a little quick rapid fire.

How does that sound? Okay. In addition, okay. Would you rather deal with a jealous bridesmaid or an attention hogging groomsman?

Think hard, long, and hard about this one.

Antoinette: Yeah. Um, I guess an attention hogging groom has been, I guess, a little bit. ’cause I feel like I, for me personally, I feel like I would be a lot easier to talk to that person and be like, tone it down. Yeah. Like I, ’cause I would not have a problem be like, I love you so much, but you gotta tone it down. You’re doing too much.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Versus somebody who is jealous. I don’t know if I would know that they’re being jealous or if they’re like, you know, kind of being stink face or whatever. Or like, or like eat subconsciously or consciously sabotaging things. So I feel like I wouldn’t want that type of negativity.

Christa Innis: Yep.

Antoinette: On my day.

Christa Innis: That’s a great point. Yeah. Um, would you rather your wedding TikTok flop? So like if something bad happened at your wedding or, or your honeymoon get leaked?

Antoinette: Uh oh. Would I rather have a, so I either the TikTok I have be like a flop, like someone said, let, like my wedding was a flop.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like if you had like a wedding TikTok, um, like maybe you like, posted about your wedding as a TikTok and it didn’t do well, is how I’m reading it.

Yeah.

Um, or your honeymoon, like videos from your honeymoon or photos from your honeymoon get leaked. I don’t know. Like Oh, like your,

Antoinette: I I was, I know. I was like, right. I was like, what? I was like, what type of leak? I was like, what we, I was like, I was like, what are we talking about? I’m nervous I didn’t write these.

Um, I guess like, I wouldn’t mind having a TikTok flop. I probably would think it was funny.

Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s ’cause it’d be more for me anyways if I.

Antoinette: Yeah. Just in case. There could be lots of different meanings for the leak. I’d rather have nothing leaked, just to be clear. Yeah. Just to, just to like, just in case nothing leaked.

Christa Innis: I know, I feel like the word leaked just sounds like celebrity leak. Like Yeah. Oh, there, this got leach. Um, okay. Would you rather have your wedding go viral for the wrong reasons? Or have no one shared at all?

Antoinette: No one shared at all.

Christa Innis: Yeah, same. Would you rather find out your fiance applied to a reality dating show after your engagement or that your proposal was filmed for a pilot episode you didn’t know? These are wild.

Antoinette: What the, is this, I guess, um, the film for, for, for a pilot? I didn’t know because like what the actual f*ck if you just, sorry. With the actual flip, if you just, I didn’t know if you could curse something. I was like, it’s all good. Okay. If you just, like, you got engaged to me and then you just applied to a dating show?

Christa Innis: Dude, there’s been people on Bachelor that has come out, like they have like girlfriends at home. This happens and you, the thing is why I’m sure, well, cheaters, I feel like, just don’t think about this, but they’re like, yeah, you don’t think it’s ever gonna come out. Exactly. You don’t thinking at home, like clicking and being like recognize.

Antoinette: Thank you. The internet with the, like, have you not? Are you new?

Are you new to the world now? Like the internet is like, especially with TikTok, things like information moves by fast. People are detectives. Okay. If you’re on there, they’re gonna find you and everything about you. So. Like, people always think like, oh, I can just hide it. No, you can’t. No. It’s no one else has been able to.

Christa Innis: Someone’s always watching, especially nowadays. Oh my gosh, Coldplay concert.

Antoinette: Yes, exactly. Exactly.

Christa Innis: Someone’s always watching. Yes.

Antoinette: And the funny, if they had just not ducked, if they had just not ducked, that wouldn’t have been a thing.

Christa Innis: Yes. Seriously. No one would’ve even thought twice about it. But the funny thing is, someone, do you see the behind the scenes, someone was behind them and realized later, like they had videos of them like kissing before that happened. Oh, they were like literally behind the couple.

Antoinette: Yeah. I didn’t see that. Ah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. So I’m like, oh my God. But like literally, they would’ve just been like, oh, it’s a cute couple. Yeah. Never would’ve thought anything about if they weren’t like, whoa. Yeah, exactly. And yeah, it wouldn’t, the smelling front. Oh my gosh.

Antoinette: No. Right. Yeah. It wouldn’t have been a thing.

Christa Innis: All right, last one. Would you rather have your wedding edited by Netflix or produced by Bravo?

Antoinette: Ooh. Edited by Netflix or produced by Bravo, um, I guess edited by Netflix, produced by Bravo. Ooh. I don’t know, dude, that, that’s kind of like, I, I like Netflix shows, so let’s just say edit it by Netflix.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I like it.

A Tale of Jealousy, Selfishness, and Boundaries!

All right, let’s get into this week’s wedding story submission. Are we, we still okay on time? I know we’re, yeah.

Antoinette: Yeah. No, I’m good. I love bantering.

Christa Innis: I feel like we’re doing a.

Antoinette: Yeah, no, I’m having fun. No, we’re good.

Christa Innis: Okay, cool.

Antoinette: Okay. I’m off today, so we’re.

Christa Innis: We got time. Alright, cool. Yeah.

Um, okay. So as always, I have not read this, this will be a blind reaction. Let’s just see how we go. Feel free to stop me if you want. Um, otherwise we’ll, just as you know,

Antoinette: I might have questions. I’ll let you know.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, all names have been changed, so here we go.

This story starts about two and a half years ago. Around six months before I got engaged. I was on a pontoon boat with my friends, their boyfriends, and my now fiance Ryan. One of my friends, Brooke, asked Ryan if he had any plans to propose in the future.

At that point, we’d been together for a little over a year, so it was still fairly early. But we had already talked about marriage, so it wasn’t a totally random question. Ryan told Brooke and my other friend Erica, that he actually planned on proposing in August, which was about two months from when they were having this conversation. I was on the other side of the pontoon boat and had no idea this was even happening. Next thing I know, I look over and see Erica sulking in the corner of the boat, glued to her phone and refusing to talk to anyone. We were only about an hour into a six hour rental, so things weren’t off to a great start.

I asked Brooke if she knew why Erica was upset, and she told me that when the topic of proposals came up, Erica made a comment to her boyfriend who was also on the boat, and they’d been together for three years at the time. Um. Asking when he was going to propose and he replied with something dismissive like, don’t hold your breath. Ooh. Which upset her. Yeah. Like then starts the comparison, right? Yeah. Uh, for the rest of the rental, Erica sulked and barely spoke.

After we got off the boat, she immediately returned to her hotel. Instead of joining the group for dinner the next day, she texted me asking why I didn’t make more of an effort to comfort her. I explained that it wasn’t fair for her to exec expect me to come spend my entire birthday consoling her over something I had no control over.

Okay. Fast forward six months, Ryan and I get engaged on a beach. Brooke was there because she helped Ryan plan and execute the proposal. Afterward, Ryan and I FaceTimed friends in film me to share the news. When I FaceTimed Erica to show her the ring, oh gosh. The first thing she said to me was, Ew. He let you have red nails for your proposal. Jealousy. Not a pretty.

Antoinette: What the, oh my God. That’s not a friend.

Christa Innis: This is kind of ironic. ’cause yesterday I did like a, like a different kind of video and I was like, pretending to be, I said, your best friend of me just found out you’re engaged.

Antoinette: Oh, I think I saw that. I saw that.

Christa Innis: I said something like that. I’m like, oh, I didn’t know you liked that. Kind of, you know? Yes. That’s literally like that kind of comment, like why would you say that to someone?

Antoinette: That is so rude. Like, and I feel like jealousy is a normal emotion. I do like, I don’t like, people are like, oh, we, I was like, I don’t think you should like down people for having feelings of jealousy. It just is like information for you. Like it’s not necessarily that you dislike the person or whatever. It’s like there’s something going on with you that you are that. You’re looking for. Do you what I mean? And that that person has, it doesn’t necessarily mean that’s not something you can have. It’s just like, it’s some, it’s information. That’s how I think of it more. It’s information. And if you don’t actually take in that information, then I think jealousy can get out of hand. Obviously this person, jealousy got out of hand. Yes. ’cause for her to be outwardly so rude and dismissive to her friend during such a, a beautiful moment. And the fact that she also thinks of you, thinks of you so much that she calls you during that beautiful moment. And that’s the first thing you say is like, what the flip? Yeah. Like you need to get, you need to internally look.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. Like you’re, yeah, you’re letting that jealousy like take over you when it’s like, yeah. You could have like feelings of being like, oh, I wish that was me first, or that yeah. Kind of sucks, but I wouldn’t be really happy for my friend because she’s my friend.

Antoinette: Yeah, a hundred percent.

Christa Innis: Um, it says I was in such a good mood that I brushed it off. Okay, good. At least Elisa didn’t ruin the moment.

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Um, she gave me a half-hearted congratulations. And we moved on later. Our families had planned a small celebration at our house. Erica and her boyfriend came out but barely said anything to me and left about an hour later.

I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, assuming she might be having an off day, despite everything. I still asked her to be one of my bridesmaids. There we go. That gut feeling like she’s already showing signs. Um, when I started organizing hangout so the bridesmaid could get to know each other, Erica always made excuses not to come.

Her reasons ranged from anticipating she’d be too tired or needing to attend a half birthday party for a six month old. What’s a half birthday? Oh, a six month old, like half birthday. I get it. Um, to simply not liking who does.

Antoinette: Six and a six and a half?

Christa Innis: No, I was like, wait, what? Um, to simply not liking the location.

Weird. Not going to your friend to hang out ’cause you don’t like the location.

Okay. While planning the bachelorette trip, I mentioned feeling sad that one of my bridesmaids Tessa wouldn’t be able to make it because she lives in Arizona. Erica responded, I’m so jealous of Tessa living in another state gets her out of so many of these events.

Okay. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

Antoinette: Okay. Yeah.

Christa Innis: I wanna be here.

Antoinette: Okay. Yeah. Honestly, I I, if it was me, I’d be like, girl girly. What’s going on?

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Like what is happening here? Like you’ve been saying, I’ve been letting it go, but you’ve been saying way too many things. We need to talk.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Like, ’cause that’s just rude. Like, that’s just rude. You don’t have to come, like, don’t do me any flipping favors. Okay. Okay. Like, don’t do me any, this what.

Christa Innis: You’re gonna ruin it being there. I’d rather.

Antoinette: Yeah. You are ruining it. Like you’re ruining everything. You’re making me feel bad. Like you’re, you’re putting in digs, like trying to make me feel bad about myself.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. That’s, oh gosh. She’s like putting all the signs out there.

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Um, okay. She says I wish I had a solid excuse not to come to the bachelorette trip, so that that was her end. That’s it. Yeah. That’s your excuse. Like don’t come friend.

Antoinette: You don’t need, I’d be like, you don’t even need one. You’re uninvited. Yeah. It’s done. Done.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh.

Antoinette: That is, I would literally be like, don’t you? I would literally say that most likely I’d be like, you don’t even need one you’re uninvited.

Christa Innis: If someone’s gonna be that mopey and like.

Antoinette: Oh yeah, I wish I had a solid excuse. And you’re saying that to me.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Yeah. No.

Christa Innis: There you go. Bye.

Antoinette: Yeah. Yeah. That, that’s your excuse right? There you have it.

Christa Innis: Um, okay. She goes frustrated. I said, if you don’t wanna come, then you should stay home. Okay, good. She replied that would, that she would def look bad if she didn’t go.

Antoinette: So you look bad by not by saying this, you already, what do you mean You obviously don’t care about looking bad? ‘Cause you look bad right now.

Christa Innis: Yeah. How can you really care about looking bad if you say that? So it’s like, it’s more about everybody else, what everyone else thinks versus your best friend or one.

Antoinette: Yeah. You don’t care about me or what I think because you’re saying all this to my face. Yeah, to my face. Like, you’re being rude and mean to my face.

So it’s not, it’s not about me. It’s like, okay, what other people would it look bad for then?

Christa Innis: Yeah, exactly. Oh my gosh.

Um, while shopping for bridesmaid dresses, Erica told me she struggles when people get married before her. Really? Did they? Right. Not also, why are we telling her this at bridesmaid dress shopping again, like a wedding event for her. Don’t go if you’re gonna make it about you.

Antoinette: Like honestly, at this point, this is where the introspection we need to come in. And it’d be like, I’m in a weird place. I can literally, I don’t know why, but I can literally not be happy for you right now. Mm-hmm. I want to be, I know I should be, but I’m in a bad place.

Yeah. Like, honestly, I should just be like. I can’t do this and cut it out, like mm-hmm. But not, I feel like a lot, not a lot of people are like self-aware like that, where it’s like, I’m just not able to do this.

Christa Innis: Yeah. If it’s gonna bother you that much and every little thing you’re gonna bring up how you’re not married yet, or you’re not engaged yet, that’s a problem.

Antoinette: Yeah. You’re gonna be rude to your, to your friend. It’s, this is supposedly your friend.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Like, you’re gonna be rude to them, put them down, make them feel bad about all the events that are happening around this wedding. Like, then just, then just see yourself out, like, you know what I mean? Like, be a friend and don’t go.

Right. Like that would be the way you’re being a friend. If like I’m, if I’m, I’m literally not able to control myself at this point because I’m so jealous that I need to not be involved.

Christa Innis: Yeah. 100%.

Um, she goes, especially when they haven’t been with their partners as long as she has.

Antoinette: Oh my gosh.

Christa Innis: Doesn’t matter.

Antoinette: Erica. Get over it.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Okay. Dump your partner and get a new one. Then. I don’t know, like, if, if the issue is that, then maybe you should like not be with your partner. If they, obviously, obviously I don’t think she should be with her partner. If her partner said something along the lines of like, oh, what’s it called?

Christa Innis: Don’t hold your breath.

Antoinette: Don’t hold your breath. You shouldn’t be with that. You shouldn’t be with that person.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like you’re more mad at him, I think. Yeah. You’re not mad at your friend and you’re letting him dictate how you feel about your friend, which you should be happy for her. I think you need to turn the anger maybe to him.

Antoinette: Yes.

Christa Innis: You guys are on different timelines.

Antoinette: Yes.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, but also like why even if you’re on different timelines, why would that be your answer to somebody asking about when we’re getting married? Yeah. Don’t hold your breath. Your breath. You obviously don’t like me. If that’s, if that’s like, if that’s your answer, that’s rude.

Yeah. It’s one thing to be like, I’m not ready. Gonna be like, don’t hold your breath. Okay. You, you don’t like me. Then like, you always like, you don’t care about me or my feelings, like.

Yeah. The fact that he was so quick to be like, don’t hold your breath. Not like, don’t worry, we’re gonna get married. I’ve got something planned. Or just like, I need another year. You know, whatever.

Antoinette: Or can we talk about it later? Like, can we talk like not on this boat when Yeah. Not on this boat. You, you might not be happy with my answer. Let’s talk about it in private.

Christa Innis: Might ruin your whole day.

Antoinette: Yeah, exactly right. Ruins everybody’s day and year, apparently.

Christa Innis: Yes. Oh my gosh.

Um, she said she felt she should be getting married before me. Oh, now it’s clear before me. Because of the length of her own relationship. Length does not dictate any of that. It does not ever. It really doesn’t ever. Oh my gosh. It really doesn’t.

I wanted to suggest that she stepped down as a bridesmaid, but I avoided the confrontation because I knew it would end our friendship.

Antoinette: Well, maybe, but this is not ending your friend. This should have ended your friendship.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: This should have ended your friendship. I think this girl’s being way too much of a pushover because like, this should have ended your friendship. Why are you worried about ending? Like how is this not ending it?

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Like all the signs are there from the outside. I’m like, these signs are so big and red that I’m like you. Yeah. As red. Those nails that you got proposed.

Antoinette: Yeah, exactly.

Christa Innis: They are, they’re they’re like flashing at me.

Antoinette: Yes.

Christa Innis: Um, for the bachelorette trip, a joint bachelor and bachelorette weekend. Erica texted me the week before saying her boyfriend couldn’t take time off work. So they probably would, would come late.

Okay. Despite multiple brides, I thought she was gonna say, so they probably wouldn’t come. And I was gonna be like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. Despite multiple bridesmaids offering to drive her so she could come on time, she refused. That’s another, that’s weird. If it’s one of my best friends, I’d be like, sorry, you have to work a boyfriend.

I’m going without you like, yeah. What, what, I’m sorry. I’m not wasting, wasting my time. Um, she and her boyfriend finally arrived Friday night just as we were heading to karaoke the karaoke bar. At the bar they stood apart from everyone else repeatedly asked when we were leaving and complained about how much they disliked it.

Antoinette: Why did you come? They both did?

Christa Innis: Apparently. Like what?

Antoinette: What was the point of coming then? Like, you just, like, you just like ob you want to ruin people’s time.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. You’re just miserable, unhappy people.

Antoinette: Yeah. Like, you are, you’re being miserable and you’re trying to make everyone else miserable. Like, and I have like, I’m one of those people where like, I’m like, I feel like I give so much grace where I’m like, you know, if somebody’s like in a bad place, you know, or like, and you know what?

Maybe you are miserable. Okay. But like, are you spreading your misery? That’s what I’m really asking. Like, I mean like, are you spreading your misery? And that’s what’s happening here. And I feel like that’s so like, get it together. Get it together. There’s really no reason for you to go to event and just ruin somebody else’s time. Go home. Yeah, go home.

Christa Innis: Because, yeah, no one feels bad for you. Like, don’t go there to like ruin their day. Like they’re enjoying their time. So just like.

Antoinette: Yeah. This would also be a festivity and you would literally be like, Ugh. Can we go home? Yeah, go. No, yeah, you can. Yeah, please. You literally can, you drove here by yourself because you didn’t come with us. ‘Cause you’re waiting for your boyfriend so you can, you literally can’t go.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Literally. Please. Do you already want the excuse to not come?

Antoinette: This is not an escape room. You can escape. Okay. Yeah.

Christa Innis: You’re way out. Oh my gosh. This is wild.

Um, the next morning Erica claimed she had a panic attack and decided to leave saying she wasn’t having fun. Okay.

Antoinette: Yeah. Neither were we. We could tell.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: You could tell. It’s not a surprise.

Christa Innis: You made it very clear. Yeah.

Antoinette: Like it’s not a surprise, girly.

Christa Innis: A month after the trip, Erica got engaged. Hmm. Okay.

Antoinette: Good for maybe, I hope, you know what? I hope her attitude changes now. I hope she’s very happy now.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Now she’s gonna be, wait, I didn’t read the rest, but I’m just gonna guess it’s gonna be all about her and her wedding now and then maybe they kept married first.

Antoinette: Oh my God. I bet she’s gonna be like, oh, you know what? If this was my wedding, I wouldn’t have done that. Yes. A lot of that, like, oh, you know what? I would’ve never picked that color. Oh, you know what? I kind of feel like that’s a little techy, but like, you know, like, it’s good for you. Oh my God. I hate Erica. What? Yes. God. Erica, you’re the worse.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Um, a month after the trip, so Erica got engaged and started texting me questions about wedding planning. Oh, she’s so excited now.

Antoinette: Oh, look at her.

Christa Innis: Things most bridesmaids would already know, like what wedding website I use and where my venue was. On the day of my bridal shower, Erica showed up with her mom both wearing white. Because she’s engaged, so it’s now her wedding here.

Antoinette: I literally can’t, Erica is not the worse. Erica is the worst. She can’t help herself.

Christa Innis: Her mom like matching, matching outfits, like wearing a sash bride and mother with bride.

Antoinette: Oh my God. Did you? She’s like, well, I’m, I’m also, I’m also engaged.

Christa Innis: We’re all engaged together.

Antoinette: Yeah. Oh my God.

Christa Innis: Um, she asked the other bridesmaids how long the shower would last complained about having to stay for the opening of gifts and spent most of the time talking about her own wedding plans.

Antoinette: Oh, you called it, you called it.

Christa Innis: I feel like I’ve just like seen so many stories like this where I’m just like that type of person that’s so upset and jealous and has to be rude.

The second then they get engaged. It’s me, me, me, me, me. Oh, you had your, yes, that’s it. But it’s like she doesn’t have her time yet. She’s still like.

Antoinette: She never had her time. You were rude the whole time. Like you’ve been, and then after now you’re still being rude. See? Are you just a rude person? Like that. Just who? Yeah. I was like, were there signs? You know what, I’m sorry. I feel like I was like, were there signs already that Erica was not a good friend before all of this?

Christa Innis: Yeah. I wanna hear about. Yeah. You know, some pre-engagement stories about Erica. Tell me the truth.

Antoinette: Yeah. I was like, let’s get the truth. Have you, as his friend, needed to be gone for a long time? Probably.

Christa Innis: My, my guess is, yeah. Yeah. Like, and this just brought it all out even more.

Um, when I walked over to her table, her mom interrupted me to show Erica something so cute for her wedding. About 45 minutes into the shower, Erica’s mom came up to me and said Erica wasn’t feeling well.

I know I have to say that in that voice. Yeah. No, I love it. Come say goodbye. Oh. At your shower. You need to go outside and say goodbye to Erica.

Antoinette: No, Erica can come inside. Yeah. Or, or tell her I say bye.

Christa Innis: Yeah. She can just do the old Irish goodbye. See ya. Bye.

Um, I went outside and Erica apologized, later texted me that she’s always getting sick at events related to me.

Antoinette: Oh my God.

Christa Innis: You said it weird. There must be some jealousy in the air.

Antoinette: Yeah. Right, right. I right.

Christa Innis: Stick with jealousy.

Antoinette: You’re literally getting sick by your own jealousy. Your own jealousy is making you sick.

Christa Innis: Eating you up inside.

Antoinette: Alive. Like, like your body knows terrible therapy. Immediately, please. Like, yeah.

Christa Innis: Can you seek some inner peace?

Antoinette: Yes.

Christa Innis: Um, all right. The next day, my sister texted Erica and asked if she’d be getting sick on the wedding day too, and whether she saw,

Antoinette: I love the sister.

Christa Innis: The sister is awesome.

Antoinette: The sister was like, I’m done with this.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like, I’ll be her backbone for a little bit. I got, yeah. Whether she felt capable of handling the pressure.

Erica got defensive and sent me a long series of messages about feeling disrespected before I could respond she blocked me.

Antoinette: The audacity!

Christa Innis: And all the other bridesmaids on social media. ’cause she was called out for her bs.

Antoinette: She felt disrespected? She, Erica felt disrespect? Wow. Wow.

Christa Innis: That is wild.

Antoinette: She did them a favor though. Yeah. Like somebody needed to like, thank you for excusing yourself out then.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Antoinette: And she, she literally went through, just blocked everybody. Okay. Nobody wanted you ready.

Christa Innis: That’s someone that like expects you just to like, go to their beck and call at all times. No one says no to me. And so I think because the sister came in and was like, yo, you’re not being a good person. Are you gonna be there or not? Tell me now because

Antoinette: Yeah, exactly.

Christa Innis: Not dealing with this.

Antoinette: I’m glad the sister said something. ’cause it was like someone had to be like, is this, we’ve already seen the pattern for a year. Are you gonna do this on the actual important day?

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Antoinette: If so, like, and I love that. Are you gonna be able to handle it? ’cause Yeah. Are, can you handle it? You’ve proven not to be able to. So yeah. Can you get yourself together before then? Mm-hmm. And she pretty much, she answered, no, she’s not. I mean by all of her actions were a No. That was the answer.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh.

Antoinette: She blocked everybody off.

Christa Innis: That is wild.

Antoinette: Oh so childish.

Christa Innis: I kind of like. Very loosely relate to this.

Like years ago I had a very like shady kind of friend. The end of, yeah, shady is probably the wrong word, just a friend where like I was always like people pleasing, bending back my backward, bending over backwards for. And many times, like last minute cancellations, like if she was gonna help me with something, like feeling sick, that kind of stuff.

And my sister texted her one day when she was supposed to come to something and canceled like the morning of, or just stopped. She like stopped responding to me and my sister was like, Hey, like. Christa’s always bending over backwards for you, blah, blah, blah. And it was like the same thing. She was rude back to my sister and then texted me like a whole thing. And I was just like, I’m done. Like I’m done. Sorry.

Antoinette: Yeah. Yeah. Like you can’t take accountability. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, all right. Last paragraph here says, looking back, I should have never asked her to be a bridesmaid. She has always been selfish and viewed our friendship as a competition. There you go. Mm.

I was trying to hold on to a one-sided friendship, but in the end she took the first opportunity to bow out.

Antoinette: Wow.

Christa Innis: They hung on by a thread there for a while.

Antoinette: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, and everyone, but I mean, that’s what we’re wondering. We’re wondering, like, it seems like Erica probably has always been a problem, and, but she just confirmed that.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Like, and that happens. I mean, I’ve been, I’ve been in, in a friendship like that too, where like, it was definitely one sided.

I was definitely like doing everything. And they definitely were like selfish, but like, there were just, there’s always something, there’s like something, I don’t know what it is, but you were like, attached to that person. I felt attached to them. Um, and sometimes it can be hard to like let people go, even if they’re like, you know, they’re like not really bringing anything.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. A hundred percent.

Antoinette: Um, yeah. Yeah. So.

Christa Innis: And I feel like too, it’s like, you know, you, you think of like good times with that person. Yeah. And you’re like, oh, they’re good to me during that. Or like, this was a good time. I don’t wanna just like be the mean person and say like, I’m done with you, but also like, you, you matter too.

And it’s like, yeah. And their friendships just have a timeline and they’re just. Done at a certain point. And that’s.

Antoinette: Yeah. And this was the one, I mean, I secretly wish for this girl that like it had been earlier, so her whole, all the events weren’t like so tainted with Erica’s drama, you know? But at least her wedding wasn’t tainted with it.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. She was long out by that point.

Antoinette: Yeah, right.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Well that was a wild story.

Well, thank you so much for coming on and yeah, entering with me and reacting to this wild story. I had so much fun hanging out with you. I feel like we could talk for hours just because I do too, so much to chat about.

Um, can you again, just tell everyone where they can follow you and find your content and then anything fun you’re working on?

Antoinette: Yeah. Um, you can find me on TikTok at Miss Razzle Dazzle. I’ve been trying to change it, but it won’t change on TikTok, so Miss Razzle dazzle, and then on Instagram at bits of banter with Antoinette and then YouTube at bits of banter.

Christa Innis: I love it.

Antoinette: Um, and I am now my next thing is Perfect Match and Love is Blind uk so I’ll be reacting to those two shows.

Christa Innis: Okay. I gotta watch at least one of those. Yes, yes. I Dating Show World. Yes. Awesome. Well thank you so much.

Antoinette: Thank you.

by Christa Innis

Education Hot Seats, Reality Checks & a Red Flag Romance — with Colleen Borgert

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

Get the book!

Weddings can bring out the best and the worst in families but what happens when the drama takes center stage?

In this episode, Christa and Colleen Borgert dive deep into a story about a whirlwind engagement, a strained family dynamic, and a wedding that almost didn’t happen. Did the bride make the right choice when she called off the marriage after just one month?

Tune in as Christa and Colleen share candid thoughts on red flags, family loyalty, and how important it is to trust your instincts when the pressure’s on. A powerful reminder that it’s never too late to walk away from a bad relationship.

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month!

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

07:22 Teaching Background and Career Path

12:14 Wedding Would You Rather Questions

18:41 Meeting Her Husband at a Wedding

24:36 Discussing Wedding Food and First Dances

30:12 No Ring No Bring Wedding Policy

36:20 Wedding Story Submission

42:26 Red Flags in the Relationship

48:42 The Divorce and Moving Forward

54:39 Wedding Confessions

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

Engagement Red Flags – The couple’s whirlwind engagement raised questions about moving too fast and overlooking key signs.
Family Drama Unfolds – The bride’s experience with her fiancé’s family dynamics and how it impacted her big day.
The Sister’s Role – Colleen shares her thoughts on the fiancé’s younger sister and the implications of her behavior.
Unspoken Expectations – How family members’ expectations can shape wedding plans, and the consequences of unmet expectations.
The Pushback on No Kids Policy – Colleen’s wedding no-kids policy and the pushback it created from family members.
Taking Control of Your Wedding – The importance of setting boundaries with family members and ensuring the wedding day feels right for the couple.
Dealing with Toxic Family Members – The challenges of navigating toxic family relationships and prioritizing your own happiness.
A Bold Divorce Decision – The courage it took for the bride to end the marriage and choose a life that was healthier for her.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“Sometimes the most dramatic moments are the ones that push us into the right decision.” – Christa Innis
“There’s no rule that says you have to settle for a big wedding if it doesn’t feel right for you.”– Christa Innis
“When we look back at those relationships, we realize: we were just rushing for the sake of rushing.”– Christa Innis
“If something doesn’t feel right, trust your gut, even if everyone else says you should push through.”– Christa Innis
“Wedding day stress isn’t just about the day it’s about what it reveals about the people around you.”– Christa Innis
It’s not about the number of guests, it’s about the intimacy and connection you want to share.” – Colleen Borgert
“Some family dynamics are just too toxic to navigate around. You’ve got to know when to step away.” – Colleen Borgert
“At that moment, I realized that the wedding I envisioned wasn’t the one that was actually happening.” – Colleen Borgert
“It’s hard to face red flags when you’re too caught up in the idea of what should be.” – Colleen Borgert
“A good family should never make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, it should always feel like a safe place.” – Colleen Borgert

About Colleen:

Colleen Borgert is a Catholic ESL Director, wife, and mom with 15 years of experience in education. She is passionate about advocating for all students and dedicated to unlearning and growing into the best version of herself. Colleen’s journey into TikTok began as a way to raise awareness for a comfort closet in her school, providing essential items like toothbrushes, socks, and deodorant for at-risk students. Her efforts gained traction, and after the election, her content evolved to reflect the changing landscape of education. Now, Colleen shares insights on shifting educational laws and provides parents with important updates on what’s happening in their local schools.

Follow Colleen Borgert:

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of, here Comes The Drama. It’s so funny, I put together these intros week after week and you know, I thought it would seem more and more natural, but like sometimes when I read off things, it just feels like I. Uh, not very natural to me. But anyways, thanks for being here, guys.

I’m excited to share another exciting episode. We are joined by Colleen Bogart this week. She’s also known as Leanie Borg on TikTok. She is a Midwest mom educator and all around advocate for her students who need it most. Colleen is known for her heart humor and the way she shows up unapologetically herself.

But don’t let the smile fool you. She’s not afraid to speak up. Stand strong and keep it real both in and out of the classroom. In this episode, we play around of would you rather dive into some wedding hot takes, of course. And then finally, we react to a wedding story submission with an ending you will not see coming.

And I just wanna say, I had so much fun hanging out with Colleen. She’s so real. She was so much fun, and I’m excited for you guys to hang out with us. So without further ado, here’s our episode. Enjoy.

Hi, Colleen. Thank you for being here. Thank you so much. I’m so excited. I’m so excited to have you here. I mean, I think I was telling you before we started recording, like I came across your stuff on, on TikTok and ology. Probably like, I don’t even know, time is, time is funny, but it was probably like over a year ago.

I just love the stuff you put out. So thank you for taking the time and being here today.

Colleen Borgert: Thank you. Yeah. Um, I’ve been on TikTok a little over three years now and have been following you and all of your wedding shenanigans that you put out there and amongst everything that’s happening, like you’re really good comedic relief for me, so I appreciate that.

Christa Innis: Oh, good. Oh, that’s, I love, I love hearing that. It’s kind of goofy just how the internet, I was just telling someone it feels like, it’s like talent show on like. Phone, you know, like you’re scrolling. And I just kind of like pic feel, feel like it’s like talent showing when you’re like in elementary school and everyone’s like, Hey, check out what I got.

And then it’s like the next person, they’re like, Hey, check out what I have to say. And it’s just like this funny world we live in

Colleen Borgert: it, it really is. You know, like I can envision myself doing like little somersaults on, on the stage in middle school being like, TA Yes. And now here we are.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. So true.

And just like the world, I mean, you cover a lot of it too. I feel like the world and everything that’s going on, it’s just like, there’s so many, there’s a lot of negative things going on in the world. Scary things. Mm-hmm. And so I just, I feel like maybe it’s my way of detaching. I don’t know. I don’t know what it’s, yeah.

But, um, but you know, and

Colleen Borgert: thing, things are really heavy right now and, and they’re really heavy for people of all ages, especially in education and that detachment piece, like that’s needed. So we can get up every day with a full bucket. And get to work and keep changing lives. So your detachment is my, is my healing.

So I appreciate you so much.

Teacher Turned Advocate

Christa Innis: Well, thank you. I know. I appreciate what you do too. Can you tell everyone a little bit about yourself, what you do, and kind of how that pivoted into what you share on social media?

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. So, um, this is gonna be my 15th year in education and I’ve kind of always had more of a social work type background.

And that’s originally what I got into TikTok for. Um, I was raising awareness to help build a comfort closet for, um, kiddos in my school that were from at-risk backgrounds. So, um, I would put out items that we needed, like toothbrush, socks, toothpaste, deodorant, um, just to get eyeballs on that Amazon wishlist link, and then it kind of blew up from there.

And then. After the election when everything kind of in my world pivoted and changed a little bit, so did my content. Um, because everything in the education world is shifting and changing and I wanted to let parents know, Hey, this is happening in your neck of the woods, so come on up to the front and hear about it.

So now I share more, um, educational laws that are changing, things that are adapting within the educational world.

Christa Innis: I love that. I feel like it’s so important because I, I’ve seen especially in your own content too, people will sign off on things or they’re like, agree with something until they really get to the nitty gritty and they’re like, wait, what’s happening?

Wait, department of Education’s going away. You know, and they’re like picking up these things. They’re like, wait, what does that actually mean? And they need people that are in it that know the ins and outs to explain it.

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. And, and it’s easy for every single person to kind of wear a school hat in the sense because they were a student at one point in their lives, but the lens that they see things through is that student lens and maybe not what’s behind the curtain.

So hopefully I can just pull that curtain back for people and let them see the nitty gritty of what things actually mean.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And so like what. Kind of going back, what inspired you to initially become an educator? You said you started with social. Did you start with social work and you were kind of in that field and then you kind of moved into be teaching?

Colleen Borgert: Yeah, so, um, I kind of was always in the school social work realm. And then just recently, a few years ago, I kind of navigated more into the classroom and now I work at a Catholic school. So I’m a Catholic, um, English, a second language director. And um, what I do is I ensure kiddos that do not have English as a first language, have equitable education.

Um, now more than ever. That’s extremely important. Um, I think that I feel. So I shouldn’t say think. Mm-hmm. I feel so passionate about this because I also grew up in an extremely, like poor environment, poor households. So I know what it took to like claw my way to get here. And I know that if it’s possible for me, it’s possible for other kids if I can just be that adult that I needed when I was younger.

So that’s definitely what fuels me every day that I get up and I go to school.

Christa Innis: I love that I’ve, I’ve heard that quote before about like, you like need to almost think about who you needed as a child because that’s gonna, that should be kind of like who we are as adults, because that’s gonna kind of put us back in that mind frame of like, okay, I really need an adult to hear me.

I really needed an adult to support me or understand me. Um,

Colleen Borgert: to make you feel seen and valid.

Christa Innis: Yeah, absolutely. I feel like that’s. I feel like that’s such a pivotal thing to remember because we get kind of lost in the day to day. And then especially as educators, you want someone to really care. Like, you know, my, my daughter’s too young for school yet, but when she’s in school, I’m like, you want a teacher like that that’s gonna really think like, okay, they’re gonna hear everything I say or they’re gonna see me as a person, like even if I’m quiet or, you know, those kind of things.

Colleen Borgert: Absolutely. And see the parent too, because the parent is an important part of all that.

Teacher Balancing Truth & Boundaries

Christa Innis: Yeah. Mm-hmm. So do you think, so I know you’ve kind of posted before about like, like your content changing, especially after the election, but I think even before the election you were kind of, you know, talking a little bit more about what could happen, these kind of things.

So with working at a Catholic school, is it hard to kind of. Do you have to stay in line with certain things or say certain things? I don’t wanna like get you in trouble either, so I wanna make sure you’re saying things that are okay. Mm-hmm. You know, like, are there guidelines like you, can you say certain things online or where does that fall in line with your teaching?

Colleen Borgert: Well, I think in general that is kind of just a teacher box that everyone has to stay in. Um, when it comes to my Catholic faith and, and where I align, at first I was really nervous to kind of like go out in those waters and let people know like, Hey, I’m a, I’m not a public school teacher. I’m a Catholic school teacher.

But once I showed people that. I am here for all kids regardless of religion, race, background, culture. People started to see my authentic, you know, views that I wanted to present and the information that I was giving people and it was well received. There are definite lanes that you have to stay in, um, as a teacher.

And then I think my lane is just a tad bit smaller being a Catholic school teacher, but the things that I am bringing are fact-based. Educational laws to people. So I’m really proud of that. And I think as long as I stay in my lane, you know, I’m good. And I’ve had a lot of wonderful support from my school community.

Um, they have backed me up 110%. Um, they believe that every child has the right to a free and equitable education as I do regardless of race and religion. So it’s been really good. Um, but at the end of the day, I’m an adult and I have to be able to control what I say to stay in that lane.

Christa Innis: Yeah, no, absolutely.

No, I love it. I love that they’re, they’re behind you. ’cause I mean, just in general with like content creators, like just different jobs, I’ve heard different stories where they’re like, you can’t say this, you can’t post this, you can’t do this. Um, so it’s really good to hear that there’s like supportive, um, uh, schools and communities out there.

Colleen Borgert: Oh wait, I totally butchered

A Diagnosis That Changed Everything

Christa Innis: that question, but chair, like a pivotal moment in your life that kind of shaped how you approach teaching.

Colleen Borgert: Um, I think one thing that changed my view on how I view all kids in the classroom is my son was diagnosed with Tourette’s Syndrome when he was in kindergarten and. As a parent, just hearing that diagnosis, not knowing what that looks like, um, in our, in our lives, let alone in the classroom, surrounded by, by kids he does not know.

It, it really made me like peel back my eyelids and open my eyeballs to every single kid has something different that’s going on inside of them. Mm-hmm. Every single kid that is in front of me is going to feel one way or another on a certain day. And my son deserved to have a teacher that was like, okay, you are different and you’re unique and that’s wonderful.

And how are we going to ensure that you get the exact same care and attention as every single other kiddo. Mm-hmm. In here. And I think as we’re looking at things today that are happening, happening politically. We have to remember that we are all just one diagnosis away from having a unique child. We, you know, we are, we’re one car accident away from having a child that might need to be in a wheelchair that is going to need different accommodations and is going to need a teacher that is, is loving and caring and will do absolutely everything for your kid.

Like they would for Susie Hugh, who is always there 20 minutes early, raising our hand star reader. Mm-hmm. Like every single child is different. And I want my kid to have a teacher that loves on him. Like I love on every single baby that I see every single day of the school year. Mm-hmm. So, like his diagnosis, it, it was rough for us.

It was scary. We didn’t know what that would look like. So that, that was, that was hard.

Christa Innis: Yeah. No, I think that that’s, yeah. Such an important thing because like you said, anything can change in a minute. I think. A lot of times people just like look at like, what’s gonna affect me and me only? Mm-hmm. And if you look outside and say like, well, how is this affecting other people?

Or how is it affecting that family? Or how is it affecting this family that leads to more compassion and empathy and understanding. I think that’s really what the world lacks. Because, because, um, not to like generalize, but I just feel like those are the things I’ve observed is like there’s a certain group of people that let’s look at like, well, it doesn’t bother me, so I’m fine.

Right. It’s like what anything can change, anything could happen. Like you said, like mm-hmm. Um, emergencies happen all the time or you know, I don’t know. Things, things just can change quickly. Um, that’s, yeah. That’s such a good thing to think about. Um, okay.

I wanna switch into the wedding, wedding kind of topic.

And as I was kind saying to you before we started recording is like I’m adding, I’m kinda shifting these podcast episodes a little bit different to like more conversations in the beginning, but I still haven’t kind of figured it out a transition. Sometimes it just happens naturally and other times I’m like, all right, so onto the wedding stuff.

So sorry if it seems kind of abrupt. We’re working on it. No first timer here. I think it seems fabulous. Okay. I was just like talk my way through stuff. ’cause I’m like, or like, what is it called? Not talk my way through it. I don’t know, I just like when I dunno what I’m doing, I just keep talking and figuring it out.

Girl. Same. And you’re a hand talker. So, oh my gosh. The number of people, when I first started making content that would like, like hate comments about like me using my hands, I was like,

Colleen Borgert: I dunno, I don’t know. Yeah. It just happens. I get the same. And then my next video I come out 10 times harder just like.

Christa Innis: You thought it was bad before, just wait. I know, right? It’s like, I will make sure I do it now. Well, yeah. And so one comment I got last night was, um, like I, because you know, I do like the skits and stuff, but every once in a while I come on and I’ll like explain something or I’ll give like a little background.

Someone basically was like, no one likes when you do that. Like, don’t come on and explain things. We’re here for the skits and the skits only. Don’t talk and waste our time.

Colleen Borgert: People are so rude keyboard warriors nowadays. Like, it’s absolutely ridiculous. It’s, I know, it’s crazy. I just have to

Christa Innis: laugh at the ridiculous ones.

Weddings Would-You-Rather

Okay, so starting off, let’s do a little, um, wedding. Would you rather Ooh. Completely Just random. So, okay. Um, it’s a lit, some of them might be a little tied to being a teacher, but then we’re gonna do like other ones. So here we go. Okay. Would you rather have to teach a class of 30 kids in full bridesmaid attire or chaperone recess in high heels the day after a wedding?

Colleen Borgert: Oh my goodness gracious. Well, with the amount of dancing that I do and the way that I get into shout and put my hands up in the air, yeah, I’m definitely gonna go with the 30 kids in the classroom like, yeah. A bridesmaids dress. I love a good dress up any day of the week.

Christa Innis: Yes, I know. It’s a fun, fun excuse to have like a princess day or something.

Colleen Borgert: Right. Like since Wynn is dressing up bad at school, so I, I totally will take that. But my 41-year-old body nowadays after wedding dancing, I can’t like, oh my gosh. Beautiful day recovery and yeah.

Christa Innis: No

Colleen Borgert: fun.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I know. It’s funny how that like just changes all of a sudden, like I’d be like, when people have like the full wedding weekend, I’m like, I need like one big day and then I need like a couple days of recovery.

Thank you. Yes.

Colleen Borgert: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Mm. Yeah. After, after a good wedding, you know?

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Okay. Uh, would you rather give a wedding toast with no preparation or do the Chacha slide solo in front of the whole reception?

Colleen Borgert: Oh my gosh. Chacha real smooth now. Mm. Um, I would much rather. I think just give a wedding toast.

Like, it, it, I’m a group dancer, but solo dancing, like my, my, my face drops. Like my, my face gets serious. It’s, it’s not very cool to look at. I don’t think anyone would want that, but hand me a mic and I, you know, cheers the bride and groom. That’s something I can get behind. Get behind. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. All right.

Um, would you rather attend a wedding where the ceremony lasts three hours? Or one where the DJ only plays kids? Bop.

Colleen Borgert: Oh, okay. Um, that’s a tough one. Oh man. This is, this is almost like, would you rather go to a three hour PD or do a kids bop after school hour? Oh my gosh. I, I, I think I know, I think I’m gonna still go with the three hour ceremony.

Christa Innis: Oh, I

Colleen Borgert: know. At least. At least it’s quiet.

Christa Innis: least it’s quiet. Oh my gosh. I think I would go kids b really? Every once in a while. I don’t know if it’s ’cause of my, my daughter’s too. And so every once in a while, like I get really into those kids bumps. I mean, we, I mean they, they are catchy. They’re, they’re catchy. Luckily she’s really into Wicked now.

So we listen to the Wicked soundtrack, but play, I love it. But, uh, I love a good, you know, Disney, so I don’t know about Kids. Bop we’ll see how that would go. But I

Colleen Borgert: think it’s because when I imagine kids bop, like I imagine like kindergartners. All up on me, you know, like jamming with me with their hands going down, you know, like yeah.

That’s just the vision that I have from the experiences. So yours and mine, maybe a little different.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Different vibe. Yeah. Um, would you rather sit at the all singles table with ex students? Oh, ex students’ parents, or be seated next to the couple’s ex.

Colleen Borgert: Oh my gosh. I, I actually would take the parent table for sure.

Yeah. Without a doubt. I have been really blessed with wonderful parents and that’s, you know, I did eight years in public school and I’m still connected to so many of my public school parents that I love and adore. And the last like five years in the Catholic school system, like I just, I’ve been really lucky, so.

Oh good. I bet that table’s really fun. Signed up. Yeah.

Christa Innis: And like all those parents, like letting loose. I bet it would be like a great table,

Colleen Borgert: right?

Christa Innis: Yes. Love that. A

Colleen Borgert: for everybody. Yes.

Bridesmaid Dress Drama

Christa Innis: Okay. Would you rather wear a neon bridesmaid dress that clashes with your skin tone or have the name, or have your name spelled wrong on every wedding program?

Colleen Borgert: Oh my goodness. So I am the worst speller in the world. I can totally see me misspelling something in my own wedding. I, I probably did to be honest. Um. I also wore the wrong colored bridesmaid’s dress in my cousin’s wedding two years ago. So I’ve done that as well. Um, but I’m still gonna have to go with if that bride wants me to wear, you know, the worst color in the world.

But she is like, this is my vision. I’ve I’ve got you.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Colleen Borgert: I’m, I’m ride or die for the bride. So you,

Christa Innis: you strike me as someone that would be like a really great bridesmaid. Like, you’re like hands on. You’re like, what do you need? I got you. Like, I just get that vibe from you.

Colleen Borgert: Well, until, until literally you see that I bought, I bought the wrong color, which is before we’re walking down the aisle.

So there when you’re

Christa Innis: walking down the aisle,

Colleen Borgert: oh my gosh. We walked into like the get ready room where all the dresses are hanging up. Yeah. And the maid of honor comes up to me and she’s like, oh, Pauline. Have you seen your dress? And I’m like, yeah, it’s hanging up. It’s so cute. She’s like, it’s the wrong color.

So everyone had gotten like a, a, a shade of sage. Okay. And mine was just a different shade of sage green. And

Christa Innis: you could tell So it from different like places or like, she told you like, oh, get it sage. And just sent like a picture of what she liked and then everyone just went and got thrown or, so I

Colleen Borgert: confirmed via text and I’ve always got receipts.

I pulled that out and before I bought it I was like, this is the color correct. And she said, correct. But the bride, my cousin, she was so relaxed. She’s like, I don’t care. You know, ’cause I’m crying at this point. Aw. She’s like, I don’t care. You’re walking down the aisle. You know, I’m like, I’ll stand in the back.

I don’t have to be in the wedding. Like, oh,

Christa Innis: was it that different?

Colleen Borgert: Um, it was like one shade lighter. You, you could,

Christa Innis: you could tell,

Colleen Borgert: you could tell I ruined the wedding pictures for sure. Oh. But you know, this is the family. She was a great, I mean, she’s just a great person, so I got really lucky. Um, but yeah, if the bride needs me, whatever the bride needs me to do, I’m gonna do it.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. I, you know, I feel like, especially now too, it’s like I’ve seen it more weddings where the bridesmaid dresses don’t exactly match. I know. I actually love that. Yeah, I know. I feel like it’s like adding a little more uniqueness. I think, like at my wedding it was like, um, from, from Birdie Gray, which is like, you can order them all online, they’re under a hundred dollars and you just, you can pick like a color scheme.

So like, mine was like mov, but there’s like three shades of mov and people are like, what color? I’m like, I don’t care. Any of the, any of them. Any of them,

Colleen Borgert: they’re gonna look so pretty.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I just feel like. It, I feel like gone are the days where people wear the exact same dress. Right. Maybe every, I’m sure it happens here and there, but

Colleen Borgert: Yeah.

And in my wedding, um, I just did black satin. All the girls just had to do a black satin and it needed to be like t length and didn’t care other than that, so yeah, it was really unique. Like I just, I, I love the non-uniform look. Yeah. And that’s probably the Catholic school teacher in me coming out being like, eh, we don’t need a uniform up in here.

We’re

Wedding Party Love Story

Christa Innis: done with the uniforms, please. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Okay. Let’s move into some wedding hot takes and stories. You said you have a story of how you met your husband at a wedding, so let’s get into that.

Colleen Borgert: Okay, so I met Mr. Borger. Uh, we were both in the same wedding party for my cousin almost 16 years ago.

And, um, he kind of clocked me right away and was like, that’s the girl I wanna marry. So we got to the reception, danced a little bit. Um, there was definite connection early on. We both went our own ways. Um, the next week he called my cousin, old school, got my number, called me on the telephone. I heard this man’s voice who does that anymore?

So un heard of these days. I know. And he asked me out on a date and we have been together ever since. But yeah, he went up to my cousin who was the bride, and said, I just want you to know I’m gonna marry that girl. And

Christa Innis: oh my gosh, that’s like a romantic story.

Colleen Borgert: I know I love, love.

Christa Innis: Oh my God. So how is he connected to the wedding?

Like was he like a groomsmen or He was the fiance’s or fiance, I guess your cousin’s husband.

Colleen Borgert: Yes, friend. He was, um, a longtime childhood friend of the groom. Okay. So now they get to be at family functions together and we’re like pretty our kids together. So it’s. It’s wonderful.

Christa Innis: I love that when like, they’re already kind of like connected, so there’s like no extra introduction.

It’s like he’s already kind of, you got an in, he’s got an in. Mm-hmm. Um, and then for you, it was a family wedding, so your family was probably already there. And so like did he like meet your parents then at the wedding and everything?

Colleen Borgert: Um, I don’t know if he necessarily like, met them, met them at the wedding.

Yeah. But he was invested in the fun that my family can have for sure. We are in good time, so I love that. Yeah, he, he was there for it.

Christa Innis: Oh, that’s awesome. I love that story. ’cause like, usually when I ask people like crazy stories, they’re like, I mean, I, I kind of put people, I try to not put people on the spot, but, um, I.

I love that it was like a positive good story. Yes. Because I always tell people, I’m like, people just remember these crazy moments. That’s why I share them. But like for the most part, like there are so many great wedding stories and like fun moments and just like, just like wild moments about, you know, yes.

Things hanging out. Um. Awesome. I love that.

The Great Wedding Dinner Debate

Okay, let’s get into some wedding hot takes. Okay. These are people send me on Instagram. We’ll just kind of react together and see uh, what our thoughts are. Okay. This one says buffets over plated dinners faster, more variety and fewer awkward chicken and steak texts.

I dunno what the text means, but,

oh, I just copied something. Yeah. Fewer awkward chicken and steak dinners.

Colleen Borgert: So are, are you asking which one do I prefer?

Christa Innis: It’s just a hot take that someone sent, so, yeah, I mean, you can say what you think about it. Um,

Colleen Borgert: so there, there was one summer, um, like my husband and I had been married for maybe like two years, and we legit had 10 weddings from like May until September.

Like mm-hmm. He’s five years older than me, so my friends were in like prime time wedding season. Mm-hmm. And it was almost every single wedding had the same chicken with that white gravy. I think it might. Oh yeah. Like on top with the mashed potatoes and everybody thinks that they’re doing something special when they’re not, you know, like it’s just boring.

But one of our friends catered in Qdoba at their wedding. And I have never forgotten it. Like, I have never forgotten the Qdoba wedding. And I hope that if this airs they hear this and they know how special their Qdoba wedding was to me. So, you know, I’m a, I’m a fan of a buffet, you know, poor girl from a poor neighborhood.

We loved our buffets growing up. Um, so I don’t mind a good buffet at a wedding.

Christa Innis: I know. I was just saying to someone, like when I was younger at weddings, I was like, like years from getting married, I was like, oh yeah, I wouldn’t, I don’t think I would do a buffet. I like the plated dinner. And then as I got older I was like, I love a buffet.

Like I just love it. And then of course when I got married I did a taco bar and I was like, this is where it’s at. Oh, you did the, you did

Colleen Borgert: the taco. There are people that came to your wedding that 20 years from now are gonna be like, I went to a taco of our wedding and it’s going to be you girl. Yeah. That is the wedding that they are referencing.

It’s yours.

Christa Innis: I was just like, I. Never really was a big fan of plated dinners unless they’re like, I don’t know, every once in a while. Yeah. Like surprised me. Really good. But I also worked at a hotel for, gosh, three years in college. So like I would saw all the banquet foods and I saw them and not like saying they were gross or anything, but like I saw how they would keep ’em warm and I just, I don’t know, just not my thing.

And so I was like, when there’s a buffet though, you take what you want. Maybe go for seconds, get a little guacamole in there. We’re good.

Colleen Borgert: Yes. I’m here for it. I’m here for it. And I love that you did. I can’t believe it. You did Taco. I know. You’re

Christa Innis: seko. Dopa. I was like, yes. It was pretty close. It was like a local place, but it was like, it was perfect.

Like perfect.

Colleen Borgert: Yes. Yeah. And people appreciate it.

Christa Innis: And pizza for a late night snack. Yes.

Colleen Borgert: The, the best weddings that bring out that 11:00 PM like fill your belly up snack. The best.

First Dance or Skip It?

Christa Innis: Yes. Oh, it’s the best. Um, okay. This next one says, not every wedding needs a first dance. Some couples just wanna party, so let them

Colleen Borgert: I agree.

Like if you don’t want to do it, don’t do it. This is your special day. Who am I to say that you have to do something to make me feel special or this whole thing makes sense. Yeah. That doesn’t make any sense to me.

Christa Innis: I know, and I’ve heard of like parents like fighting back on it and being like, no, you need this.

And it’s like they don’t wanna be the center of attention. They don’t want that big moment. It like, it’s okay. Like no one should be forced to do anything at their wedding that they aren’t comfortable with, or that just doesn’t interest them.

Colleen Borgert: Right. Did you do a first dance.

Christa Innis: I did. Yes, we did

Colleen Borgert: too. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love it.

I love, I love a first dance. Yeah.

Christa Innis: But if they

Colleen Borgert: don’t want it, they don’t want it.

Christa Innis: Yeah. A hundred percent. We did a choreo, I’m gonna mess up the word choreographed. We practiced ourself.

Colleen Borgert: Oh my gosh. We are not

Christa Innis: dancers either of us. I’m not. Okay. So when are you posting that to TikTok? I might have years ago.

I’m trying to think. I might have to repost it. I’m gonna get my scroll game

Colleen Borgert: on. I know. I

Christa Innis: gotta think about what I posted it. Um, probably not in a long time ’cause people were like asking about it once I, so we watched YouTube because I was like, okay, one lesson I always learn brides, if you’re listening was take some kind of dance course.

You don’t have to like pay for it. If you are doing a first dance, you don’t have to like pay for it. There’s free ones on YouTube, right. Um, and so we started doing that, like just to learn like the steps. So we, because I’ve gone to so many weddings where you can tell they’ve literally never danced together.

Right. They stand there and they just like look awkward. They just sway and they’re

Colleen Borgert: like leaving lots of room for Jesus. You know? It’s

Christa Innis: like, come on guys. Like let’s not have that first time you guys ever like, get in a room, dance together, be like in a, in front of a hundred people. Right? Right. So like I knew I didn’t want that awkward moment.

So like, we did like our step practicing and then as we were watching, or like YouTube, it was like suggestive videos and it was like Taylor Swift, uh, oh gosh, what song is it? Oh my gosh. I sounds, is her, this is her first dance. Yeah. Why am I drawing a blank? Ah, it’s Taylor. Um, oh, now I’m gonna like, have to like find it ’cause it’s gonna really bother me.

Um, but it’ll come to you in a few minutes

Colleen Borgert: and if not divorce will come. It’ll be

Christa Innis: fine. It’ll be fine.

Colleen Borgert: We’ll just pick your voice in. It’s

Christa Innis: can, I’m gonna sing it and I can’t sing. Can I go where we can? I can’t sing. Hold on, hold on. I’m a swifty. Give it to me. Be this clo forever and ever. And, and take me. Huh?

And with a, that called you’re my, my lover. Lover. Lover. I knew we’d get there eventually. Yeah. Okay. So it was to lover.

Colleen Borgert: Love that. Yeah. And there was a

Christa Innis: really cute dance on YouTube and they showed what to do. So we did like a little spin. He like picked me up in the end. Oh. And we didn’t tell anyone we were doing it.

So it was likes you

Colleen Borgert: had like your, um, baby moment from dirty dancing where he like Yeah.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Little less graceful than that, but Yeah.

Colleen Borgert: But I do love that you told brides that they could just get on YouTube, like they don’t have to spend their money. Yeah. Just hop on YouTube. Yeah. I, I love that you remind people of that it, it doesn’t have to break the bank to be special.

Christa Innis: Yeah, exactly. Like, we literally did it in our, in our apartment living room and we just practiced like every week. I think we was like, Monday nights we’re gonna practice our dance. Yay. Okay.

No Ring, No Bring and the Reality of Guest Lists

Um, next one is no bring, no ring, no bring is totally fair. Sorry to your new hinge date of two weeks. What are your thoughts on No ring, no bring.

Colleen Borgert: Oh my thought. Okay. So my husband, my husband did not get invited to a second cousin of mine’s wedding. We were not engaged. We got engaged the next month. Okay. And during the time I was like, I can’t believe they won’t let me bring him. Like, why would they not? Mm-hmm. And now that I have children of my own and I see the cost of things and I, I see more of like that behind the curtain.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. I

Colleen Borgert: can see that and I can respect it for what it is now. Yeah. I tell you. But when I was in the moment, it felt like, oh, my partner isn’t allowed to be here, but I, I can understand it now. I can respect it now.

Christa Innis: Yeah. No, I, I totally get that. I had a similar thing, it was my second cousin’s wedding. Gosh, I don’t even know how long ago it was.

My hu Now husband and I were just dating, but we were living together for years and they like invited, it was weird. It was like they invited all of us, but like they put like, I can’t remember, there was something weird about it, but like, we were like, oh, um, I don’t, I didn’t, I didn’t know if they like, didn’t know his name or something like, weird, but like I had been with him like longer than this couple had been.

So like they’d met him many times. Like, this is your person at this point box. Yeah. This is like very clearly my person. Yeah. Like he like plus one of the other weddings in the family, like, he’d been to their house and then this second cousin, it was like a fairly like quick like, which no hate or anything.

Of course. That’s, that’s awesome. Right. But it was fairly quick. So like, they had been together like a short time and like he wasn’t invited and I was like, oh, I’m just making sure. Yeah. And again, now looking back, I’m like, we were not that. I was not like super close with them. So I was like, I get it. And I ended up just going with my mom and my sister.

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. Which, you know, tho those can be fun times too. And it was fun, you know, like unexpected fun moments without, you know, the old ball and chain that, that’s fun too. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I do think there’s a difference between, you know, you had been dating your now boyfriend for years and I was almost engaged versus like, oh, two weeks ago I met Jimmy, you know, down at the gas station.

Yeah. Can he come too? Yeah. Like that’s

Christa Innis: different to me. I know. I just read this crazy Reddit story this morning where it was like. This girl was demanding to be invited to her boyfriend of a few months wedding, like, or his friend’s wedding. And she, he was like, oh, I don’t get a plus one. And she’s like, well, I’m your girlfriend.

I should be able to go. And he’s like, well, they didn’t gimme one. I’m a groomsman. I don’t really wanna start anything. And she’s like, no, if you like really like me, you need to like bring me. And that’s where I’m like, it’s only three months. Mm-hmm. He’s probably only least friends for years. I don’t see like where, why you have to automatically give a plus one.

Right. I agree. I agree with that. It’s very, it’s very nuanced. I think in a lot of it, it’s not all black and white. It’s kind of like each individual thing is gonna have different. Rules. Right?

Colleen Borgert: Like we, we didn’t do kids at our wedding. We had a no kid wedding. Um, but our final total, even after we got all the nos for our RSVPs, we were up to like 370 people with no children.

Woo. Like, you know, and that is hard for people to grasp too, you know, like, what do you mean I can’t bring my kids?

Christa Innis: Yeah. But when

Colleen Borgert: you are from such a ginormous family like you. When you eliminate those kids, you’re able to say, okay, my second cousins can now come and, you know. Yeah. So I think we have to remember to pull back the curtain on everything and kind of say there, there’s always more back there than what we initially think.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. 375 people,

Colleen Borgert: too many.

Christa Innis: That is insane. It, it was like 360 people. Too many. Let me tell you, if you were to do it again, do you think you would do it a lot smaller?

Colleen Borgert: I would do it. I would do it so differently. I I would do it smaller. More intimate. Intimate. Is that inter intimate? Intimate. In intimate?

I kinda like intimate, but it’s intimate. Intimate, you know what I mean? I, yeah. I would make it, it would be much smaller, quaint, and just a few close people, and I would probably want to do a surprise. And just if you wanted to show up at this random thing I invited you to, you get to come to my way. Oh, I love that.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I love that. I know, I think it’s like with age, we’re kind of like, because I always tell people if I were to get married in my early twenties or something, I think I would’ve gone way too big. Invited way too many people. Mm-hmm. And you know, like I had just been outta college or something, so I’d probably had like all my college friends.

Yes. My bridesmaids. And it’s like now here I am, like 15 years or ish out of college and I’m like doing the quick math out of college and I’m like. Half those people I don’t even talk to anymore. So I’m like, I’m, I would not have wanted them at the wedding. ’cause then they’re gonna be all these pictures like, you know?

Right. And that’s exactly how it,

Colleen Borgert: you know, and, and I’m blessed and lucky and it’s easy for me to be, to say now, like, oh, I would do it differently. But that’s because I got that moment. Mm-hmm. You know, I got the big moment of, you know, all my friends, all my family. But yeah. I don’t talk to the majority of the people that were there at no fault of theirs or mine life.

Just, I’m just, yeah. You know, just happens. Mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: Did you get pushback with the no kids at your wedding?

Colleen Borgert: I did. There were a couple people that gave me pushback. Um, a couple family members and a couple friends. Uh, one of my bridesmaids had had her daughter like two weeks before the ceremony, so she brought her daughter to like, feed her parents came like, things like that didn’t bother me.

Yeah. But if I knew if I am, if I let. One family bring their two kids, then the next family had, and then before you know it, it’s 500 people. Right. And you know, so it’s not that the children, it was more so just I needed the number as low as possible to be able to invite all those people I no longer see anymore.

Christa Innis: Right. And then you wanted to be equal playing ground for everybody. Right. For everybody. Totally makes sense. Yeah. That’s one thing people don’t realize. And a lot of the stories I get, it’s like, they’re like, just make me the exception. Oh, my kids are fine. It’s like, well, you don’t understand if I let you bring your two kids and then yours.

And then I read a story the other day where an aunt was told it was just the aunt and uncle, and then she RSVP’d for. Her adult children who are four kids, their significant others and their kids. So, so she wrote in on the card 15 or something, extra people.

Colleen Borgert: I can’t

Christa Innis: like you’re not talking to one extra person.

You’re talking three extra tables. Two extra tables,

Colleen Borgert: yeah. Like in, in, in what world and in what mind does that aunt think that that is okay? Like I can’t wrap my mind around people that do things like that. But there’s people out there that do it. Mm-hmm. All the time. Yes. It’s crazy.

Christa Innis: It’s, it’s again that mind frame of me.

This, this is, this is gonna affect me if I can’t do it this way, or Oh, it’s fine. Right. I’m the exception. She loves me so much. Yeah. I’m her favorite aunt. Yeah. Yeah. And it’s so funny ’cause when I like do these skits, people are, I’m like, when I’m like acting them out, I’m like, oh gosh, this is so dramatic.

I’m making this 10 times worse than it probably is. And people will comment and they’ll be like, no, that exact thing happened to me. Or like, that is exactly what, yeah. Talk that way. Yeah. I’m just like, oh man, this is wild. Okay, speaking of before we get too over on our time, so are you still, are we still okay on time?

Yeah, I, I’m, I’m good. Okay. Let’s get into this week’s wedding story submission. So, as always, I’ve not read this yet, so feel free to stop me at any time and react or we’ll just kind of react together. Okay. Here we go. Okay. Let me see if I get my scroll. Okay, here we go. Here.

Bridesmaid Meets Her Groom’s Family

Hello Krista. I just wanna say I love your skits.

I have a story that still blows my mind years later. I’m not sure if it’s juicy enough to be considered drama, but it was wild for sure. Back in October of 2013, I started dating a man who was seven years older than me. I was 23 and he was 30. He had a younger sister who was exactly one month older than me.

She was the baby of the family and never did anything wrong in their eyes. She was also a teacher, which becomes important later because I’d always been, I’d always wanted to be an elementary school teacher, but had to pay for college on my own. Most of his family lived in New York or Florida, which also plays a role later.

Okay,

Colleen Borgert: hold on. So we’ve got a 30-year-old man. Mm-hmm. Dating a 23-year-old.

Christa Innis: 20. 23-year-old? Yes. Okay. And sister, who’s also 23 is my Okay. Teacher. Got it. Out of state relatives? Yes. Okay. By May, 2014, my then boyfriend had been in and out of the hospital several times for various issues, even having surgery to remove his appendix.

He thanked me for being by his side through everything and bought me a nice coach bag to show his appreciation. I had never owned a designer purse before. Then he asked my youngest sister for help, for help planning something my sister knew. I absolutely hated surprises and told me he wanted to propose and ask for suggestions.

So she’s just like, this is what he wants to do. Okay. I’m like, at what point? Okay, wait, so may They met in October, 2013 by May, 2014. So is it like a year and. No, not even, no, that’s just like six months. Oh, that’s like six months later.

Colleen Borgert: November, December, January, February. Yeah, that’s like five, six months. Oh, wow.

Okay. Okay. We are going, went

Christa Innis: along. Okay. Uh, then he asked. Okay. She gave him several ideas, so I wouldn’t know which one he’d pick or when it would happen. He also asked my biological dad for permission, which was odd because I’d always been closer with my mom. Okay. Mm-hmm. You would think he would know that, but maybe not in five months.

I mean only six months. Who knows? Who knows? Yeah. In 24, in June, 2014, he proposed and I said, yes, his youngest sister. Okay, so now his youngest sister planned a visit to our town in July, 2014 to see one of her guy friends. Okay. He messaged her brother. Okay. I’m like drawing my head. Yeah. Oh yeah. Duh. Oh my gosh.

Saying she wanted to see him and meet me. Okay. So they hadn’t met.

Colleen Borgert: And she’s getting ma. Okay. So she has yet to meet even his family at this point?

Christa Innis: Yeah, and they’re engaged. So she’s just kind of, okay. So she was just giving us background on the sister, but at this point they hadn’t even met. So he meets this girl and proposes in six months.

She hasn’t met the family. Maybe they don’t live, comes in town. Right. So she comes in town when she wants to meet. We planned everything around her visit, but when she arrived, she met up with her friend and blew us off.

Colleen Borgert: Oh, okay. To this.

Christa Innis: Oh, it gets better. I have never met her

Colleen Borgert: to this day. Hold on. Pause.

Pause one. They’re still together. I don’t, well, I don’t know if she

Christa Innis: just wrote to this day. I’ve never met her. Oh, oh. So I’m like really confused, like, is this, we’re talking 11 years later. And that 2014, unless I’m reading, is

Colleen Borgert: weird, flabbergasted. Like, so there’s nothing to indicate if the, if they are still together, except the phrase.

To this day, I still have not met her.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I’m gonna see. Let’s see. Okay. Let’s see what happens next. But I’m pretty sure she means like she just blew her off that time and then that was it. I don’t know. Okay. She says we set our wedding date for Saturday, October 25th, 2014. So about a year after they met, no one from his family was able to attend.

Oh.

Colleen Borgert: Red. Is that a red, is that a flag for you? I think it’s

Christa Innis: a red flag. Yeah. That’s a why. Okay. So Sister blew, blew them off, doesn’t go to meet her. And then no one from his family can just make it right. That, that seems red. That’s red flag. Red flags are everywhere for me. They’re, they’re popping. I’m sorry to this.

I mean, I don’t know what happens next. So, I’m sorry to this person that, that sent this in, but I’m just like, this is all very fast. Yeah. And weird that his family can’t show up.

Colleen Borgert: Right. And I think the, the, the age is like, the red flags are like popping and I’m like, hold on a second. So I’m excited to hear what comes next.

Yes. ’cause I’m trying to put it all together in my mind.

Christa Innis: Yeah, same. I know I’ve got like the family tree going on right here. Yeah, drawing here. Um, okay. Um, so no one from his family was able to attend, but they planned to watch the ceremony live on his sister and like, oh,

Colleen Borgert: 2014, is that like what on, like, how do you watch it live in 2014?

Yeah,

Christa Innis: because Facebook Did you like Zoom? Like I don’t even remember Facebook Live in 2014 because was I in 2014? Oh, I was having a baby. Okay, you’re like where? Yeah, I was having a baby. You were. But yeah. How do you I don’t know because I remember, okay, I was working at trade show. I honestly think it was 2014 at my fir, one of my first jobs outta college.

And they, my manager, I worked in marketing and she was like, look at this new app where you can live stream. And I remember her showing me, and that was before like Facebook Lives and stuff, because then I think it was bought by Facebook. So that may some, she had something, she had something, something maybe even like FaceTime and can you, you could FaceTime then, right?

I don’t even know. I

Colleen Borgert: feel like I still had a flip phone back then. Like with the A, B, C texting, you know, like, dun, dun dun. Oh my gosh. You had to hit it like three. I mean, you’re so young. Did you ever have a phone like that? I’m not that much younger than you, honestly. Oh, you look amazing Ellie. How you tell me you’re younger than me?

I’m turning 35 this year. Okay. Yes. You are a baby. You are a baby.

Christa Innis: Is that what, five years? That’s not seven. Seven. I, it’s funny though. I see seven. Oh, okay. Well, I don’t know. Yeah, it’s all, it’s alright. It’s all I feel like you’re at, I’m at the age where like. I, I was gonna say I have friends in their twenties, but I’m like, I don’t, I guess I have some friends in their twenties, but I have friends in their four, you know, like it’s Right.

You’re

Colleen Borgert: now to the point where you can go both sides.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I mean, I had an hour long conversation with my like 85-year-old neighbor last night and it was the best, like, I love chatting with her and so I’m like, I just, age doesn’t matter to me. Yeah. But, um, it’s funny, I like see 2014 and it also feels like yesterday and then I’m like, wait a second.

I have to remind myself, we’re like in the 20. That was a long time ago. Yeah, it was a while ago. Oh my gosh. Um, okay, she says, um, then on his sister’s birthday, September 26th, we’re giving some personal details though, so hopefully they don’t listen to this. Um, he was in the hospital again. I had no cell service and was too focused on my fiance.

The next day I reached out to her, to which, her belated happy birthday. So I’m confused. So. She says they never met. Maybe they just mean in person. So she talked to her. I think she has to meet in person. I,

Colleen Borgert: yeah, because she came in town in July, the sister blew her off.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Colleen Borgert: And then I’m thinking September he gets sick.

And then the wedding is in October.

Christa Innis: Yeah. That’s what it sounds like.

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. So, so they just haven’t met in person. They’re a, B, C, texting each other, right?

Christa Innis: Yeah. On their flip list. Texting. Yeah. So, okay. So she reached out to Wisher, um, a belated happy birthday and apologized for missing it the day before. She completely lost it on me, calling me a horrible person for ignoring her on her birthday.

Colleen Borgert: No hard pass.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like, we’re not like five or six years old where we like, you know, you are at this point, if she was praying like 24, like you can survive one

Colleen Borgert: day.

Christa Innis: Right. And your brother’s in the hospital. Mm-hmm.

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. Like, yeah. That’s, that’s another flag flags.

Christa Innis: Huge red flag. Yes. Where, where are his parents in all of this?

Like, right, like she hasn’t really mentioned them except that they’re just not coming. They’re not coming. Which is weird ’cause it says family’s in New York and Florida. They’re in, um, Kansas City. It says. Okay. Then she insulted me saying she was a teacher and I was too dumb to finish college and get my teaching license.

Oh no. Just missing a birthday by one day and being with your brother in the hospital.

Colleen Borgert: Oh no. College. If you go to college, it does not make you any smarter than anybody else. I don’t get that many Gives, gives you a set of tools to be able to do a job. It doesn’t equate to being smarter than anybody.

Right?

Christa Innis: Yeah. And don’t, I just don’t get that mentality of like mm-hmm. Oh, I went to college and you didn’t, it’s like you probably went to college ’cause you had either a privilege to go to college, right? You had funds to go to college. You had, you don’t, you don’t know the full story of, and you’ll just choose not to.

And that it’s ally. Okay. And there’s no one’s smarter if we’re going or not going. Right? Oh

Colleen Borgert: yeah. That, that would, that would be like a, like I would feel that as a knife. Mm-hmm. Like that, that comment to me that that would stay with me. I feel like I’d carry that for a while.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh, for sure. Um, it says, after that she blocked me on everything.

My fiance was upset for a moment and then defended her saying That’s just who she is, and she’ll come around soon. Soon enough. No, someone that says that they’re not coming around Uhuh. And that’s also like, that is your

Colleen Borgert: fiance.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Colleen Borgert: This is the person that you’re getting ready to say I do too. And you’re just, he’s just gonna be okay with people being mean to you.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And see, this is where, again, I don’t know the rest of the story, so I’m sorry if it works out a different way, but like, I hope, I don’t know, maybe it doesn’t work out, but like someone that like jumped the gun really quickly to someone that was much younger than him and was like, let’s move fast. Six months from now we’re getting engaged.

My family’s not gonna be there. I don’t know. I’m getting some bad vibes and I don’t, yes. So

Colleen Borgert: I live by the rule that whoever you date, if you can subtract that amount of years and you wind up under the age of 18, it, it shouldn’t happen

Christa Innis: yet. You know? So, so if you subtract her age by their distance Yes.

Yeah. Of seven years.

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. Then I’m like, Hmm, that’s, that’s icky to me a little bit. Mm-hmm. You know, not to say that it, it, it won’t work out, and I hope that it did, and I hope that they’re happy. But that age gap, the, the life experiences that people have are so vastly different. Yeah. You know, a 30-year-old to a 37-year-old, they’ve had a lot of similar life experiences.

You know, you minus that number and it’s like, okay, they’ve been a, a grown adult for a long time, so it’s not necessarily the number that I get. Tripped up on. Yeah, it is. How much life experience is attached

Christa Innis: to those numbers? No, that’s a really, that’s a really good point. ’cause people are always like, well, my parents are this or that.

And it’s like, it’s a good point of like, well, when did they meet? How did they meet? What, what were they at in their life? Right. Um, ’cause yeah, I’m thinking like 23. Like, I was like freshly. I mean, I graduated at 23, so I was like, freshly outta college 30. Like, you’ve been in the, you know, job field for a while.

Colleen Borgert: Yes. And you know what you want in life, you know, and you know this man, he may be like, yeah, that, that’s the woman that I want. I’m going after her. You know, I’m, I’m gonna, I’m gonna get her. But was she ready for that? Could she see the red flag of hey, your fiance. He is not supporting you right now. And I think that that comes with life experience, you know, just growing into your own as a woman and, and the value that you bring to the table, you know?

Yeah. So, I don’t

Christa Innis: know. It’s a little, Hmm. Yeah, it’s a little, um, interesting. Okay. She says she never watched our wedding. Okay. So they got married and to this day, I haven’t spoken to her since September 27th, 2014. So we’re talking about 11 years. So they

Colleen Borgert: got married still. I’m so happy that they are happy.

I wanna put that out into the universe, but I’m still so confused.

Christa Innis: Well, there is still more. Oh, okay. Let’s go something. We can see what, what’s so, but she, so she said she hasn’t spoken to her. I even visited their mother’s house Oh, oh. In New York in February of 2015 where she lived. I still never saw or heard from her.

Interesting. She lived there and then didn’t show up.

Colleen Borgert: You refused to come by

Christa Innis: in November. Here we go. In November, 2014, I asked for a divorce and thanked his dad and stepmom for trying to help us through our marriage troubles. I I, can I give a I knew it. I was like, can I applaud it? Like, yes girl. I just,

Colleen Borgert: you know, and maybe it was the sister, maybe she was looking at it all being like, I can’t support this.

Like, I can’t, but No, no. Nope. I can’t validate that sister’s comment in my mind. The comment I

Christa Innis: tried. Yeah, I know. We were trying to be like, I know. And it’s like, where does that come from though? Either like where I’ve, I have a lot of questions still too. Um, it says his stepmom threatened to have his dad, my now ex father-in-law.

End my life if I ever contacted her son again. What? Because she asked for a divorce that just a whole family sounds very toxic. And red flag. She

Colleen Borgert: dodged a bullet. Like literally it sounds like she dodged a bullet. Yeah. Because the mom is like, I’m gonna enter your life. So she

Christa Innis: also very threatening, like Right.

Trolling maybe?

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. No, that, that whole 30 to 23, my flag went up immediately. I knew it. Mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: You, I, I saw your face too. And you’re like, wait, so she’s 23? He’s 30 there. Oh, six months later they went. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Um, so they were married for, wait, they weren’t even married a month because it says their wedding date was set for October 25th.

She filed for divorce in November, so it wasn’t even a full month.

Colleen Borgert: Oh my like, okay. Does she include like, where am I now? Like, do we get to heal? Hear like the healing part of all of this because, um,

Christa Innis: no, but there’s a little bit more. Okay. Because like a little more of a paragraph. Let’s see. Um, it says we got back together for a little while, but never spoke to his dad, stepmom or sister again.

I later found out his older siblings were annoyed at how much their younger sibling, younger sister got away with. I mean, at 24 she threw a fit because her brother was in the hospital and I wished her happy birthday a day late. It wasn’t like I’d forgotten entirely. Side note, I graduated a few years later after divorcing her abusive brother.

Okay, now we’re getting a little more of the context. Yes. And I’m working on my master’s degree. I also ended up teaching for a few years.

Colleen Borgert: Yay. Yes, queen. I love that. That was

Christa Innis: a happy ending because you know what? You saw your worth and you saw like, I went out of this situation and I’m glad. It was not even a month that you were just like, you know what?

I’m out. And I hope this is a lesson too for people listening that like, ’cause I’ve had, I’ve had friends before that are like, well, everything’s already paid for. We have to go through the wedding. It’s like, it’s never too late. Like just if you are in a bad relationship, it’s okay. Like it’s Right. Or Yeah.

Colleen Borgert: And, and that goes like both ways too. Like as a boy mom, having only boys, like I want them to know that as well. Like they bring worth to the table too. And they need to be love and respected. And if they need me to fake a heart attack as I’m lighting that wedding candle so that they can run out of the back door, I, ugh, I will do it.

I will do it for them. It’s never too late for happiness.

Christa Innis: Yes. No, I totally agree. I feel like we, obviously, we don’t know the full situation here, but the fact that she threw in that he was abusive, abusive. Which I kind of got the vibe he was controlling or something because of, you know, the moving so quickly and, um, him being a lot older.

But, um, yeah, that, I mean, that’s, that’s a scary situation. So always knowing in your gut or like listening to your gut about it. I hope she had someone on her side that was like, Hey, this doesn’t seem right. Right. ’cause it sounds like they went to his, his dad and stepmom for like, helping through marital issues.

So I don’t know if she had anyone on her side that was like, Hey, this guy is not right for you. Like this Also having Yeah. Also having that like third party, like, I know like, as like, you know, you, it’s nice that his parents were willing to help, but I feel like they should probably have had like a th like a therapist or something come in and Right.

Really sit them down Yeah. And be like,

Colleen Borgert: this is what we’re looking at here.

Christa Innis: Yeah. But I’m glad she got out of that because that could be very bad.

Colleen Borgert: Oh my gosh, yes. Like I, and again, it’s that life experience. Like you just don’t know. At such a young age, sometimes you do, but most part, like, you just, you don’t know what you don’t know.

Yeah. And it’s hard to see those things until that frontal lobe is developed, which is like 25, you know? So wild.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. It’s wild how like, at least like my grandparents’ age, it’s like they were like married, having kids like 19, 20, and that was like what they were expected to do. And they went to college to get their MRS and they, you know, that was their job.

Mm-hmm. And it’s just Wow. ’cause they were still children in my eyes. I’m like, you’re at 19, 20, 21. Like, you’re still a kid, right.

Colleen Borgert: You’re just a baby. Like you are still a, I’m still folding clothes for my college kid. I’m like, there’s no way you can get married right now. Like. I am folding your t-shirts for you.

Like the, it’s, you’re not ready. You’re not ready.

Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s, it’s wild. Um, well that was a wild story. Thank you to this person for sending that in because I think, um, it was a different kind of story that we’ve got, you know, and I think it’s good to kind of get all the angles of these kind of stories, and I’m really proud of you.

So, yeah.

Maid of Honor Regrets & MIL Drama

Colleen Borgert: Good job writer in person. What do you call the, what do you call, like submitter?

Christa Innis: Um, yeah, story submitter or like, I usually like online, I’ll say like op, like original or original poster, but I guess they’re not really posting it. They’re just sending it to me, so, yeah. Writer in.

Colleen Borgert: Good job. Writer in.

We’re proud of you. Yeah,

Christa Innis: we got, we’ve got great grammar over here. Oh my gosh. The number. It’s really in intimate, intimate over here. Intimate. Which honestly intimate. I think you could do something with that. Like I see, I, I worked in marketing the past like 13 years, so I always think of things you could do a mint at wedding.

It’s called an intimate, intimate listening. Oh, it’s so

Colleen Borgert: intimate here. I love it. If you’re listening, do it and then tag me in it so I can see all of your love.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh, I love it. Okay. I always end these on, um, a couple of confessions that people send in. So let’s read these and then we’ll get on with our days.

Okay. Okay. Um, let’s see.

Okay. This says, I kind of regret who I picked to be my maid of honor. I would’ve still had her as a bridesmaid, but yeah.

Colleen Borgert: Oh, I, I think that’s normal. You know, we kind of touched on that earlier. Just your life just changes and unfolds in different ways that you just don’t know how you’re going to need different people, and it’s okay that she was that person in your life, in that moment and that it might be someone different right now.

Like, it’s okay that both of those happened, and both of those can be true.

Christa Innis: Yeah, and I’m, I’m kind of reading it as she hasn’t gotten married yet, and she like asked them, that’s how I’m reading, but maybe I’m reading it wrong. Like, she has, she asked them to be in the wedding and so like the wedding’s coming up, but they’re like, and she wants to take it back and like, maybe it’s like the maid of honor’s not really stepping up, but I think that’s too, it’s like.

Expectations and communication too. Or maybe that maid of honor just doesn’t really know what to do or, you know. Right. Or you’re just not as close with that person. It’s hard.

Colleen Borgert: It, yeah. It’s hard and you don’t wanna hurt anybody’s feelings.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, this says I plan to cut my mother-in-law out of my life, regardless of what my fiance wants to do.

Colleen Borgert: Oh, Ooh. That’s gonna, that’s, that’s a, a therapy for sure. I feel like. Right. Like,

Christa Innis: yeah. I mean, I feel like if, if the, if it’s valid where like the mother-in-law’s done something like terrible turn, just treats her poorly, then I feel like the fiance should be backing her up and like Right. Being that buffer.

I feel like it should never be between the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law because this is about the son or something. Right. Right. There’s

Colleen Borgert: something

Christa Innis: going on

Colleen Borgert: and it shouldn’t just be about her.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And so it’s gonna be almost impossible. To just cut out the mother-in-law if the fiance is still talking to her.

Right. So then I need like, figured out of like, who is he gonna fully support? What’s the issue here? Right. Unless you guys just don’t get along, then I don’t know how that would work. But

Colleen Borgert: then you have to figure out like you’re, you’re gonna form a family together. Mm-hmm. Like, you’ve gotta figure it out.

Christa Innis: Gotta figure it out. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Uh, okay. This last one says, my grandma’s being, my, my grandma being my biggest supporter for eloping helped me elope and deal with all of the backlash.

Colleen Borgert: I love a good grandma. Like, is there anything better than a good grandma? There’s, there’s not, the, the, there hands down top five things a good grandma.

Like, you can’t, you can’t beat it. Yeah. And one that helps you elope and then says, not only am I gonna help you do it and I’ll help you plan it, but a grandma that says, you go and then I’ll tell everyone I did it and I’ll take the heat. Like, go live your life. That’s an amazing,

Christa Innis: you need that. I remember, it’s kind of funny, like, um, so I grew up, like I grew up Ca Catholic and I, um, you know, so like with Catholic parents, like, it’s like you don’t move in before you get married, like, right.

Mm-hmm. Like you child, my grandma’s Catholic, my parents, you know, like that. So this is nothing against that. It was just like how like I was raised, you know? And um, I remember though being like, I’m so close with my grandma that when my husband and I now husband, we were gonna move in together. I told her first and she was like, that’s great honey.

I’m so proud of you and my parents were fine with it. I’m the youngest. So they were like, by that point, they were like

Colleen Borgert: right by that point they’re just like, get out of here. Yeah.

Christa Innis: But I was like, it was just funny. Like, I told my friends, I was like, yeah, I told my, my, now she’s 90. But at the time, you know, she was.

Gosh, how long have I been with my husband? It was, she was like probably 80, but I like told her first and she was like, that’s great. I’m so proud, so excited.

Colleen Borgert: See top five. You’ve got one. She’s great. Yeah, you’ve got one. I’ve got one too. My grandma, um, for her 80th birthday five years ago, she’s still here.

Um, she jumped out of an airplane. She went skydiving on her way and

Christa Innis: we all went and

Colleen Borgert: yeah, she even, you know, got a second set of dentures so that if they fell out, she would have her. She was ready. She visited all of her doctors to get like the, okay, but there’s nothing better than a good grandma.

Christa Innis: That is amazing.

Oh my gosh, I love that. Well, thank you so much for coming on. Thank you.

Colleen Borgert: This was so much fun. I truly enjoyed it.

Christa Innis: Good. Oh, I’m so glad. Like it was so much fun hanging out with you. And can you tell everyone again where they can follow you, find your content, and then anything fun you’re kind of working on?

Colleen Borgert: Yeah, so again, my name is Colleen Boer. You can find me on Instagram at at Miss Colleen b or at Leany Borg on TikTok. And if you are looking for educational news that is happening in this political climate, I am the teacher you want to follow. ’cause I’m gonna give it to you like it is. I love it. Awesome.

Well thank you so much. This was awesome. Thank you. Have a wonderful night.

Christa Innis: You too.

by Christa Innis

Stories from the Vault: My In-Laws Hijacked My Wedding!” (+ Bonus Teaser!)

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

Get the book!

Ever wonder what happens when a mother of the groom tries to hijack her son’s holiday plans?

Grab your wine, because this episode is a rollercoaster of family drama and jaw-dropping holiday chaos. Christa shares part 1 of Here Comes The Drama: A Ferris & Sloan Story, diving into Kate’s controlling ways and Ferris’ careful navigation to protect his relationship with Sloan. From Thanksgiving meltdowns to snow-covered windows, emotions flare, boundaries are tested, and secrets threaten to spill.

Stick around for the jaw-dropper: a carefully planned vacation turns into a perfect surprise. Will mom ruin it or finally learn to step back? Listen in and experience holiday drama like never before.

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month!

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

00:31 Podcast Review and Announcements

02:37 Patreon Episode Introduction

03:51 Mother of the Groom Files: Hot Takes

09:56 Confessions and 9-1-1 Advice

17:51 Stories from the Vault

27:44 Mother-in-Law Takes Over the Wedding

28:51 Family Drama Unfolds

29:42 A Wedding Without Approval

31:36 The Photographer Leaves

32:21 A Punch at the Wedding

32:56 Reflecting on Family Boundaries

34:10 Patreon and Future Plans

35:56 Audiobook Preview: Family Tensions

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

Birthday Special Announcement – Christa shares it’s her birthday and gives listeners a bonus look at a Patreon episode.
Podcast & Book Updates – Highlights the audiobook release and exclusive author’s note for fans.
Fiancé’s Silence – The groom-to-be stays surprisingly calm, brushing off the friend’s toxic behavior.
Family Dynamics – Relatives get involved, adding fuel to the fire and complicating emotions.
Mother of the Groom Chaos – Kate panics over Ferris and Sloan’s Christmas vacation, creating tension.
Holiday Meltdown – Thanksgiving turns dramatic with red wine stains, snow, and heightened emotions.
Ferris’ Firm Stand – Ferris sets boundaries with his mom while remaining respectful, protecting his relationship.
Subtle Support from Ted – Dad quietly navigates the drama, encouraging Ferris without escalating tension.
Vacation Planning Drama – Kate tries to insert herself into the couple’s plans despite their wishes.
Surprise Proposal Tease – Ferris plans a proposal, creating a cliffhanger moment that leaves everyone on edge.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“Ever wonder what happens when a mother hijacks her son’s holidays? Buckle up.” – Christa Innis
“There’s nothing like a little wine, snow, and family tension to spice up Thanksgiving.” – Christa Innis
“Some moms think control is love, but boundaries are how we survive the holidays.” – Christa Innis
“Ferris finally learned: protecting your peace sometimes means saying ‘no’ to your mom.” – Christa Innis
“The line between family tradition and family chaos? It’s thinner than you think.” – Christa Innis
“Boundaries aren’t mean they’re necessary, especially when someone tries to control your happiness.” – Christa Innis
“Weddings don’t create drama, they just shine a spotlight on what’s already broken.” – Christa Innis

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hey guys, welcome to this episode of Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Krista Ennis, and it’s actually my birthday today. and so I wanted to do something special for this birthday episode, and that is share one of my all time favorite Patreon episodes. Called the mother of the groom files. You guys are always asking me to share more stories and more content, and this was a wild episode with a wild story, so I thought I would give back to you guys this week.

But first, just a couple of fun announcements. We’re gonna start with a podcast review. This is from Monica. Daniel, it says, I don’t ever listen to podcasts, but when I saw your Facebook post that you started, one, I had to start. Your skits are like crack. You want more and more and more. LOL. Thank you so much for the kind review.

If you guys are loving the podcast, please help me out by leaving a review on iTunes, Spotify, wherever you listen. It just really helps the show get out to more people. Now one more extra bonus for this week is in case you missed it, my new book Here Comes The Drama is now officially an audio book, and I’m so, so excited.

I’ve talked about the process before, but I, worked directly with Tan Tour Media and I was able to listen to actual auditions from voice artists and Shiloh James just had the amazing voice. That I thought would fit so well with these characters. and so it’s now officially out. There’s also an exclusive author’s note that I was able to record myself and the little behind the scenes, note at the very end.

So as a little bonus to you guys, stick around at the very end of the episode, and I’m going to include a. First look at the book. You’re gonna get chapter one, directly to you so you can enjoy that. as a little bonus there. I don’t know how many times I just said bonus you guys. Side note. August has just been a wild month already.

I can hardly keep up. I can’t believe it’s already, by the time you guys listen to this, it’ll be almost over and I’m just like trying to catch up. I feel like if anyone else is feeling that way, I’m right there with you. anyways, I wanna remind you guys that I’m doing a big YouTube giveaway. This is actually the last week to enter.

you got a few more days left actually. so for my birthday month I did a YouTube giveaway. All you have to do is subscribe to my channel and then comment entered on my video, and we will link that in the show notes so you can easily find it at the bottom. we are doing a $75 Amazon gift card and a signed copy of my book for the grand prize winner.

And then every single week we’ve been picking winners for some smaller prizes as well. just a way to say thank you for all you guys that listen and follow on YouTube. Alright, so like I said, we are going to, Give you a special look at a Patreon episode. This was my all time favorite one, the mother of the groom files.

Mother of the Groom Chaos

This was a wild episode where I read, oh gosh, we do some hot takes and I gave you my takes on these mother of groom situations that were sent to me. a mother of the groom, 9 1 1 advice call. So someone sent me in something that happened to them and they’re trying to deal with the. Situation. And then I read a couple of stories and one is probably top 10 wildest mother of the groom stories I’ve ever read.

So we’re gonna go ahead and play that whole episode for you and I hope you guys enjoy it. And don’t forget to stick around to the very end of the episode for the first chapter of, here Comes the Drama.

Hey guys. Welcome back to another exclusive episode of, here Comes The Drama After Dark, just for my amazing wedding party, my Patreon members. I’m so grateful and happy that you’re here with me. First things first, if my voice sounds a little scratchy or I’m sniffling, I apologize in advance. I swear it’s allergies.

I’m not sick. I swear every time I step outside, I’m sneezing like four or five times. Just that time of year, you never know what you’re gonna get. And apparently this year the allergies are crazy to me. So I’m gonna try my best to not sneeze while recording. And we’re just gonna have some fun today. so last month we focused all around mothers of the bride.

Today we’re gonna go to the other mom at the altar, and that is gonna be the mother of the groom. And as I start this episode, I wanna remind you guys. That it’s not all moms. Okay. I still get messages from people that are like, you focus so much on moms all the time. We’re not all bad. And believe me, I know this.

I talk about it time and time again that my own mom and my mother-in-law are amazing. They are not like this. I honestly, until I started really making this content, I didn’t realize people dealt with this. of course I’ve heard and seen things over the years. But some of these stories are just so shocking to me that people can act this way, during a wedding.

So I know it’s not all moms. But there are some really crazy ones out there. So, that’s what we’re gonna focus on today. here’s what we got going on. Of course, I’d like to switch it up every single month just to make things a little interesting and, feeling a little more exclusive and special for you guys.

So first things first, we’ve got some Hot Takes Mother of the Groom Edition, confessions in Chaos. So. Reading some confessions that you guys sent me that actually happened to you and then that’s gonna turn into a 9 1 1. Someone has a little dilemma going on and they would like some advice. And then last, but certainly not least, of course it’s not least because you guys love it the best.

It’s the stories from the vault. today I’ve got two crazy ones and of course I’ve not read them, we got some good ones for you. But I’ll react, along with you. So let’s get started. let’s go right into the hot takes. All right, The mother of the groom should have a special role, but it doesn’t need to mirror the mother of the brides.

This is gonna depend in a relationship with each of them. I mean, I do think. In all the weddings I’ve been a part of, I should say most of them, they had a unique role. but a lot of times both moms were there doing everything together, or just being a part of, the bride getting ready.

Right. I. so of course you’re gonna have your special moment with your own mom versus your partner’s mom, but I really feel like they have similar roles because it’s both their kids’ weddings. I’m very anti, it’s the bride and groom’s day, or. The bride and bride’s day. The groom and groom’s day.

it’s the couple’s day. Right. So I feel like it’s really important that depending on your relationship, whoever wants to be involved is involved the same way we’re not leaving anybody out. Of course, that’s, again, depending on how your relationship is. okay. Two. It’s okay if the mother of the groom doesn’t help with the planning.

Support. Doesn’t always mean involvement 100%. I think sometimes I see stories where the bride gets so mad at the mother of the groom for not being involved, but. They don’t have to be, and that’s not necessarily their wheelhouse. there was one I read not that long ago where the bride was mad because she gave a task to the mother of the groom and it was basically to book the Airbnb for their wedding event and it was gonna be hosted in the backyard or something.

she kept saying like, oh, she was taking so long to do it. And by the time, know, it was getting closer and closer, all the ones that I had really liked were booked. And I was like. If I were the bride, I would never just put that in the hands of someone else. And I don’t blame the mother of groom for that because she might have never had this kind of responsibility before.

She might not be into planning and then this was just kind of put on her lap. Maybe she’s never booked an Airbnb. so when it comes to things like that, I don’t think it’s up to the mother of the groom to want to be involved. She can support you guys in other ways and I think that’s perfectly okay. number three, mother-in-laws giving input on the guest list should only happen early, not the month before invitations go out.

So they could give input or tips anytime, I’m sure, again, depending on your relationship. But yeah, we are not asking for. And like guest list a month before, that’s just too much. there was another mother-in-law story where they asked her way in advance to send a guest list and she kept refusing because she didn’t like that they were only gonna invite 100 people.

So she kept pushing back and saying like, no, I’m not sending you a list. I’m not sending you a list. then they went the extra mile and were looking in heraddress book to get. Her friend’s addresses to send an invite and I’m just like, if it’s gonna be that difficult, why even try? yes. I think everybody, if you’re gonna have your parents’ friends be invited, reach out to them early enough, give them a deadline and be very clear.

okay. I’m gonna do a couple more ‘ we’ve got a long story for you guys and I don’t want, it to be like a two hour episode. I’m sure you guys wouldn’t complain, but Okay. A neutral colored dress is totally fine as long as it’s cleared with the couple first. Uh, it’s so hard because some of these things are gonna be really individual.

Some people might be like, no, absolutely not. For me personally, I think neutral is totally fine. what’s wrong with neutral colored? Yes, maybe avoid white. but I think you can do other neutral colors in general. I think if you’re not sure, ask the bride groom, but. I would never assume that white is okay.

Right.

Number five, it’s not rude to set boundaries with your future mother-in-law. It’s healthy. That goes with for anybody, even people that you have a great relationship with. Boundaries are so good, I think so many times we think boundaries are a way of like shutting people out or being mean, especially if you’re a people pleaser.

It’s not like boundaries can be like, I turn my phone off at 7:00 PM and I spend time with just my family right here. I don’t answer the phone even for my best friend, my boss, whoever it is. And I think that’s so important because so many times, like we think we can be at everyone’s beck and call and that we’re gonna be mean if we say no or don’t answer.

But no, you gotta have boundaries. Last one. The best thing a mother of the groom can ask is, how can I support you instead of assuming what’s helpful. Yeah, I think that’s great. If you are in a wedding, if you are a mother of the groom, if you are the mother of the bride, if you’re a father, like whatever your relationship is to them, how can I support you is a great way.

Instead of just jumping in and saying, I’m taking this task from you because nobody likes that. Okay. Next section. We are gonna do some confessions. I have a couple of confessions here that people sent me, and then the last one’s gonna be more of like a 9 1 1. What do I do in this situation? Okay, first one, mother-in-law told my son she could help him come up with an escape plan.

What if the day of he gets cold feet? So I’m guessing the son then told his partner. It was like, my mom told me this. That’s insane. That’s insane. we wanna encourage the couple. I mean, unless it’s completely toxic and, it’s a bad relationship, which even then, like you gotta make sure like you really are protecting your son.

Otherwise, I’m not saying anything. I said this a while back in an episode. This girl was talking about her whole family didn’t like the partner of her brother. Right? And they wanted to say something so bad. And I was like, you can’t, you can’t say something if you just don’t like somebody, because if something blows up, it’s gonna go back into your face, right?

If you say like, oh, I don’t like her, she’s not right for you. It’s gonna come back to bite you. It’s better to just be supportive. of course if there’s certain things that they say that’s going to, that are just like, down or rude, put you down, that kind of thing. But if it’s just like, I don’t like them because of the way they talk, I don’t like them because they don’t seem right for you.

I’m just protecting you. Like, no, we don’t need to say that. Okay. Two. My bridal shower, my mother-in-law gave me a cookbook and said, you’ll need this more than anyone. No. Okay. As someone that I am very insecure with my cooking. Like I enjoy doing it when there’s no pressure. I like cooking for my family, but I feel like I’m surrounded by so many cooks that are like really good at what they do, that I’m just like, I just second guess everything.

that’d be a little insulting. my husband and I buy cookbooks all the time ’cause we like try new recipes and stuff. But to specifically say to someone, ’cause you need this more than anybody. That’s just a, we call that a backhanded compliment. Actually, I’m not, that’s not even a compliment.

That’s just backhanded. okay. My mother-in-law kept calling it her son’s wedding and didn’t mention my name once in the entire engagement announcement. Ooh, okay. I catch myself when I’m like talking about someone’s story or reading someone’s story, I’ll say like, bride this, and I’m like, no, I need to stop doing that.

The couple’s day, the couple’s wedding, it’s so ingrained in us to talk a certain way. Right. But I feel like society says like it’s the bride’s day. So when you say it’s like your son’s day and your leaving out his partner, that’s intentional, right? Yeah, that’s pretty hard. I had someone on my podcast, Janelle Riedel, was on my podcast a couple weeks back, and she, well, by the time this comes out, it’ll be probably like two months back.

But, she had a very similar story sent to her where there was a, birth announcement. So this woman was saying her and her partner, her and her husband decided they did not want their babies. Face put anywhere, like on social media or anything like that, they made this very clear to the parents.

They go to the parents’ house to go visit them when the baby was like a newborn and sitting right on the table, there was a newspaper clipping where they had a birth announcement. The grandparents put in a birth announcement in the newspaper. Not once did they mention the daughter-in-law’s name. It was just proud grandparents of said the baby’s name and then said their son’s name.

That was it. So that is intentional, you are purposely leaving someone out when it took two people to make that baby. So I don’t know. that’s making a statement for sure. Okay.

Here is the 9 1 1 confession. she’s kind of more of like asking for help. Right. Okay. My mother-in-law just told me she bought a white dress to wear to our wedding because it’s the only color she looks good in.

Okay. I’ve gotten similar ones before. Okay. I told her I wasn’t comfortable with that and she said I was being territorial should be honored that she’s making an effort at all. My fiance is trying to stay neutral. The wedding is in three weeks. What do I do? Okay, first things first. I’m only talking about this general situation right here because I don’t people coming back and being like, oh my gosh, I can’t believe you care about people wearing white at your wedding.

I personally, I wouldn’t care again. It depends on the relationship because if you already have a rocky relationship and someone’s like, I’m wearing white to your wedding, I’m getting a full gown. Again, back to the intentional. It’s intentional they want you to feel a certain way, right? So my guess is if she says, oh, I only look good in white, so I’m wearing a white dress to your wedding, it’s because there’s already some kind of rift there, right?

First things first, the fiance staying neutral is not okay. He needs to make a choice of who he’s backing up. if he’s choosing to marry you, should be backing you up, right? He needs to be the one to, communicate to his mother that this is not appropriate or okay. Now again, I’m speaking for this couple because she has made it clear she is not okay with it.

If you’re okay with white at your wedding, this is not. Relating to you, right? So he needs to be the one to communicate to his mom, Hey Sophie, whatever her name is, has said she’s not okay with it. And I would actually rather her be the only one in white as well, really make it more what he thinks and be that bridge, right?

Because if he’s trying to stay neutral. It’s gonna make them bash even more, right? Because they’re both gonna try to get him on their side. So he needs to make a clear standing point. Being the wedding is only in three weeks, so she’s gonna try to like push back and push back and say like, oh, well there’s no time to get a new dress.

Oh, I can’s, the only dress I have. There’s time. There’s time. you’ve made it very clear that you’re not comfortable with it, so. All you can do is communicate and you need to let your partner know that he needs to communicate to her. that being said, if she still chooses to show up that day in a white dress, you can.

There’s different things you can do. Talk to your vendors ahead of time, maybe your photographer and say like, Hey, my mother-in-law has told me he’s gonna wear a white dress. What do we do? They might be able to situate her. I mean, it’s hard because she’s the mom, so she’s gonna be in the front pictures.

They might be able to like move her. So someone’s like standing in front of her. I know this happened in one of the stories sent to me. She said the photographer worked with her and like, it was like an aunt though, and they put someone directly in front of her. So you couldn’t really tell. and then you have to decide how important it is to you and it’s hard.

This is where you are like, you know what? We’ve dealt with so much with her already. This is it for me. I’m done. I’m done dealing with it. Then you have to make that decision and tell your partner and try to get him on the same page. If this is one little blip in the day and there’s been no other issues, Just let it go. Everyone’s gonna know you’re the bride and everyone’s gonna look at her and be like, that’s ridiculous. So you kinda have to decide and make a decision on your own and with your partner to be like, how big of a deal do we wanna make this? Not saying you’re the one making a big deal, but like, do you wanna escalate it or just drop it?

Okay. So you guys listening at home,

what would you do? Let her wear it. And again, she would outshine nobody. Right? Would you ban her from photos? Would you ask the photographer to gray scale her dress or like move her somehow or politely ask her to sit the wedding out. These are like four different, complete different things. Me, if I were in her situation where you already communicated and it was an issue.

I think I would just let her wear it, not I wouldn’t shine anybody. And then I would probably be like, okay, photographer, what can we do here? And then I would just like not worry about it. But again, I’m not in that situation. It’s very hard when you already have like a bad relationship. Right. Okay, here we go.

lemme get a drink of my energy drink here. It’s just to warm up my vocals because. I’m telling you guys, these allergies are just like making my throat scratchy.

Hijacked Wedding Family of the Groom’s Control

Okay, here we go. Mother of the groom confessions. These are stories from the vault. So someone sent me these stories, okay? It’s finally my turn to share.

My husband and I had a set wedding date that was really meaningful to us, it also worked well with one of our closest friend’s work schedules. His mom had found a venue she thought would be perfect, but it wasn’t available on the date we’d chosen. She asked me what I thought about it, and if we’d consider switching dates.

I told her it was a beautiful venue, but I wanted to keep looking. We really wanted that specific date and I was also considering something outdoors. Then I went to work. When I got home, my husband was buzzing with excitement saying how thrilled he was that we had a venue and locked in our date. What? I was totally confused.

Turns out my mother-in-law had gone ahead and booked the venue anyway without waiting for our answer, just assuming she knew best. You are kidding me. Okay. I take back everything I said about reading crazy stories. This is the craziest mother of the groom story I’ve ever read. Why would you take that into your own hands?

And then I’m also wondering, I know that’s probably gonna come up, but I’m also wondering why the fiance heard it from his mom and was like, okay, this is awesome. This is cool. Wouldn’t he go to his like fiance first and be like, Hey, this is weird. Did you talk to my mom? But he’s like excited for it. Come on.

Okay, because we had agreed that his family would be covering the costs for the venue, I felt cornered. I ended up going along with a change and just tried to make it work. No. Oh my gosh. I feel terrible for her because here’s the thing, like, oh, I feel so bad for her because it’s like the husband comes in or partner comes in he’s like.

Oh, this is so great. We got this venue. So then she sees his excitement after already talking to the mom, the mother-in-law, and now she feels like she has to say yes because they’re paying for the venue. in reality she already told the mom like, no, I’m gonna keep looking. And she was like, you know what?

Screw you. I’m gonna do what I want anyways. no, it’s not your wedding. Oh my gosh. A few weeks later, I was talking about wedding dress in SPO during a family dinner with his side of the family. That’s when my father-in-law decided it was his job to take charge of my wedding dress, even though my family was paying for it.

Okay. In general, it’s weird that the family thinks that they have control over her wedding dress, but the father-in-law. I wouldn’t trust my own father to pick out my wedding dress. I wouldn’t trust my husband to pick out my wedding dress and he is got great style, but so it’s nothing against that. It’s just that’s such a personal, personal thing.

Oh my gosh. He insisted I buy it on Amazon to save money. But I had no problem spending $900 plus on my husband’s suit. That seems like a lot of money. We spent, gosh, I think under 300 from my husband’s suit. this isn’t sponsored or anything, but we used Modern Groom and it was like so easy. They sent it to us at home.

My husband and I are very like, let’s check the boxes. Like we. I don’t need to go somewhere and see 10 suits and see which one looks best. We pretty much were like, let’s look at them online and do it like, I don’t know. I know everybody’s different. That was just us, $900 plus for a suit, but he wanted her to order her dress on Amazon.

I politely told him I’d figure the dress out with my mom. He went ahead and ordered several dresses anyway was furious when I told him I’d already made a decision with my mom. Ew, I’m sorry. That is gross behavior. They are to completely like pulling her out of her own wedding situation. I need to talk to this person and get her on the podcast because this is like what?

That moment pretty much set the tone for the rest of the wedding planning. Tense. Okay. So again, where’s the fiance in all this? Why is he not backing her up and be like, dad, that’s fricking weird. Why are you ordering wedding dresses for my fiance on Amazon? What? he should be standing in here saying like, no, this isn’t okay.

I’m getting heated guys. Okay. My mother-in-law wanted to plan every little detail. She constantly reminded me that I hadn’t been married before, almost as if it was her way of justifying why she needed to take over. Oh, I’m so mad for her. Any bride, I mean I should say, majority of brides haven’t been through that before, and even if they’ve been married before.

Typically I see like they do a different style, like they do something different. Right. But it’s like even if she had been married before, I feel like this mother-in-law would’ve come in and been like, no, we need to do it my way. Like, why is that any constellation to be able to go in? She’s probably been married 30 years, so things have changed a lot since she got married.

So she’s trying to like redo her wedding through her son and daughter-in-law. It’s like, no, no, no, no. She kept pushing for her daughter, my sister-in-law, who I’m not close with to be one of the bridesmaids. Apparently she wasn’t a bridesmaid in her other sister-in-law’s wedding five years ago, and my mother-in-law wanted to fix that.

Oh my gosh. This family, I explained kindly that I had a specific vision and that anyone who wanted to wear a specific color to the wedding was welcome to wear dark green, but it wasn’t required. Later I got a message from my sister-in-law, double checking the color she’d been told by my mother-in-law, and it was the exact color of my bridesmaid dresses.

Why am I not surprised? Oh my gosh. I talked to her directly. She was super understanding, and from then on she came to me to confirm details. Oh my gosh. This mom was just like, Nope, it’s my wedding. Now I’m gonna do what I want. But the craziest thing, it happened a couple months before the wedding when we were sending out invites.

I had a few friends come over to help address envelopes and had previously asked my mother-in-law for all of her addresses the day of, she told me to just drop off the invites and send them out herself. No, I’m calling it now. I dunno what’s gonna happen. Do not do that. Do not do that. Someone that’s already ignoring your every wish.

your, every vision for the wedding is not gonna follow through with that simple task. No. Okay. I don’t like the next sentence. I was rushing to work, so I dropped them off and said I’d come pick up whatever was left later. No, But Why do we need the mother-in-law to send them out herself if they’re already labeled and everything?

Ugh. Biggest mistake she says. After she mailed the invitations, she casually mentioned we might need to do a reprint. I was confused. I had like 59 extras. Why would we need more later that week? While checking over the shared guest list spreadsheet, which I finalized eight months ago and shared with both sets of parents and my husband, I found the issue.

She sent out over 100 extra invitations about a month and a half before the wedding. My like planner self is getting so bent outta shape right now. This is not, oh my gosh. We need like a mean bridesmaid for every one of these nice brides because this is not okay. And again, where is the husband? Where is the fiance?

Also you don’t need to share. Your guest list with everyone. I had no reason to be like protective of my stuff, but like I don’t need to send my guest list to every single person, so just my husband and I had it like, why does everyone need to see every single person? We reached out to all the parents and they sent us their list, and I took care of everything else.

Again, if someone’s already showing you not to trust them, don’t trust them with a new and important task. Okay. She says, my family was providing the food, so I was beyond frustrated. I had always said they could invite as many people as they wanted, but it needed to be finalized months in advance. I asked my husband if he recognized the names he didn’t or were they distant cousins?

He had specifically said didn’t want there, or they were distant cousins that he specifically said he didn’t want there. the worst part, because the invites were already sent, I had no way to contact these people and uninvite them. I’m exhausted. I am exhausted for this bride. I cannot believe that this happened.

I am so sorry. couple more things that happened behind my back too. She tried to gather baby photos of me, even though I specifically said I did not want a slideshow or a wedding video. She tried to invite her own guest list to a bridal shower that was being hosted by my aunt. Why am I not surprised?

She did a hundred extra people to the wedding? I didn’t know what happened with this. Okay, let’s see. Then came the wedding day. People showed up late. Two of my husband’s groomsmen arrived an hour and a half after they were supposed to, and 30 minutes after the ceremony was scheduled to start. What? Oh my gosh.

People need to be reminded a hundred times. Some people need to be reminded a hundred times. Luckily we have no one late for our wedding, but I hear it happen all the time. we asked everyone to arrive an hour early for photos. Even my in-laws showed up 30 minutes late, adding to the chaos.

Luckily, once the ceremony started, everything turned out beautifully, but the lead up absolute hell. I need to know how this ended. I need to reach out to her and ask her what? The heck happened after this. Like, what is going on here? Because this is literally insane. The fact that a hundred x people were invited.

I need to know, like, did you need a bigger venue, a bigger room? How much was the cost, like. It was probably one of those where she was like, the mother-in-law was like, we’re paying for it. So if I wanna invite more people, I can. It’s my party now. that’s where I’m like, don’t accept money from people.

They’re gonna hold strings over your head and dangle it like a carrot. Right. if people want to help as a gift and you respect them and they respect you, then yes, let’s do it. If they wanna help, that’s great. If you already have a weird relationship, if they’re trying to control things, no, we’re not gonna ask for that.

We’re not gonna accept the help. again, where’s the fiance? Where’s the fiance in all of this? And why is he just on the Back burner or behind the scenes when his mom’s taking the lead. your wedding was hijacked. They, they took it from you. And I feel like those are the kind of weddings where people are most unhappy when they look back.

I’m glad she’s able to say, you know what? Everything turned out beautifully. Maybe it’s just me, but I would not be so, I wouldn’t be so like, cheerful about that. I’d be like, you know what, this was my, time to do my thing and it was taken from me, so I dunno. Oh my gosh. I feel like my blood pressure is up from that story.

A Wedding Day Gone Off the Rails

All right, I got one more short, one short-ish, so let’s get into it. All right. We almost canceled the wedding.

Everyone in our families was horrible to us. My mom made a huge deal about my dad coming with his wife. They’ve been married for 10 years. My mother-in-law was against the whole thing because in her view, you’re supposed to date for exactly five years first and already have bought a house. Oh my gosh.

Where people come up with these things. Some people get married after six months. Some people get married after six years. Some people get married for 20 years some people already have kids first. Like, why does it matter to you? If two people decide together, Hey, let’s get married. Just let them, oh my gosh.

I can’t imagine being so like stuck in my ways. We were 33 and 36 and we didn’t see the need to wait. I. She didn’t approve of my red inexpensive wedding shoes or my pre-ordered dress from Ali Express. She didn’t like that. My venue only held 100 people, that we invited only close friends and immediate family, and that her cousins weren’t invited, that we didn’t have a formal dinner, and that we skipped a dance floor altogether.

What that sounds like to me is that it’s just two people that were right to get married and knew exactly what they wanted, and I think that’s amazing. All weddings don’t have to be the same. All weddings don’t have to have a dance floor or an open bar or a formal dinner. Do what makes sense for you if you just wanna party and have some cake, invite your favorite people more power to you.

I don’t get why. I bet people get so like uptight about it. We hosted a five hour gathering with an open bar and buffet full of food. What more could you ask for? You got a full buffet of food and you got an open bar. I mean, that would make me happy. you don’t really need much else. Right. She even hated that.

My husband made my wedding bouquet himself. He crafted it as a final gift. I think that’s amazing. Wow. I received before walking down the aisle. He made it as a gift. I received walk before walking down the aisle. One of his close friends handed it to me right before I entered. love that. I’ve never heard of that before.

I actually laughed the whole way down the aisle because my mom didn’t make it to the church on time. Where is this Poor girl’s family. My mother-in-law shushed me for laughing. She had already screamed at my husband the night before. My mom wasn’t at the church because she wasn’t ready. Oh my gosh. I had gone to her house to have my makeup and hair done, but I was left alone while she and my younger sister disappeared to another part of the house to get themselves ready.

My older sister stayed with me for a bit, even though she was pregnant with twins. She eventually left for the church. Oh my gosh. I just don’t understand. People just can’t be there for someone else let them shine on their day. It’s so disappointing to hear these stories where they’re like, yeah, I was alone, or My mom didn’t come, or My maid of honor was late, or The groomsman never showed up.

It’s like, come on. It’s not that hard. Be on time or be where you need to be for people that you really care about. It was so sad that even the photographer left quietly without saying anything. I was ready to go, but my mom still wasn’t, and she told me to wait because she needed more time.

I said, not my problem, and left. She arrived 15 minutes later. Okay. That’s crazy that the photographer left really though. ’cause that has a contract tied to it. You shouldn’t just leave your photographer. My mother-in-law invited her cousins to the church anyway. One of my husband’s female cousins wore a white dress another white dress debacle.

I went out to the terrace with one of my best friends for a cigarette, one of my husband’s other cousins followed me to see what I was doing and didn’t leave until I did. Weird. Later. One of my husband’s brothers told me that now I was a part of the family. He hated me and then punched my sister’s husband in the face.

What? Okay, this is weird. So there’s family drama, and with all of that, I was still so happy. I honestly didn’t care, but I cut them all off after that. I don’t know how people move forward after these crazy events take place. I could not stand to be like at a holiday with someone that treated my family like that.

Sounds like she cut them off, but like that’s hard ’cause it’s your husband’s family and if you have kids together or if you move, or all these other big life events like. Where’s the family now? so that’s terrible. I’m props to you for having good boundaries and all that, but gosh, both these stories are wild, wild, wild.

You guys know, we have a lot of mother-in-law stories, and again, not all mothers, but these stories right here, were sent by two different, couples. We get a lot of them just because I think a lot of brides follow me, but I do my best to go through different quote unquote problem. People, right. So, we just get a lot of mother of the groom stories, but I promise you there are crazy stories about every member I’ve seen.

Oh my gosh. I think I need get my blood pressure checked. That’s that first story was wild, you guys. Oh my gosh. Okay. Well that was a wild ride. Thank you guys for listening and being a part of my wedding party Patreon. It means so much to me that you guys are here. and take the time to hang out with me here.

a lot of fun to put these episodes together because I kind of feel like it’s. Off the hook. I don’t know. I put a lot of planning behind it, but it’s just different than the regular episodes. So it’s fun to do these little bonus ones. If you guys love this episode, please do me a huge favor and tell one friend about this Patreon.

Share it on social media, share it with a friend in a text message, whatever that is. just spreading the word really helps, more people hear about it. So let’s keep that going. Next month, we are gonna chat all about the wedding guest stories. And this is one we haven’t really talked too much about.

So I’ve got some good ones from the vault that I’m gonna share with you. And if you guys have a story that you wanna contribute from a wedding that you’ve been to or you’ve seen, or your own wedding, or you’ve read it somewhere, send it to me in the, wedding party, Patreon group chat, or you can message it to me anywhere.

And, I’ll try to get it on the show. All right guys. Thanks so much for hanging out with me this month, and I will see you next time. And until next time, keep the drama fun and the champagne flowing. Bye now.

All right guys. I hope you enjoyed that special. Look at a Patreon episode at full disclosure. We are currently pause on Patreon right now, so if you’re looking to sign up, don’t, ’cause it won’t be there. to be completely transparent, I just don’t have the bandwidth right now, so I just didn’t feel like it was right for me to.

Keep creating content over there when I just didn’t feel like I could give all of myself to it. So I’m putting more into the skits, more into my book, and then more into, of course, these podcast episodes here. So I hope you guys enjoyed it again, that was such a fun episode for me to put together, and I’m glad more of you guys can listen to it.

The Thanksgiving Reveal That Changed Everything

Now as promised, here’s the first chapter of my audiobook. Here comes the drama. Enjoy.

Part one, chapter one, Kate can’t believe her ears. She picks up her glass of wine, throws back what’s left, then stands up and storms out of the living room with a loud huff. Her daughter Jenny, watches her leave in pure confusion, then glances at everyone else before quickly jumping off the couch to follow her.

Mom, are you okay? She yells after her hurrying closer. She notices a drop of red wine has stained her mom’s white blouse. Ugh. I just know she’s doing this to get my son away from me. Kate charges into the next room looking unsteady, like she’s about to burst. What are you talking about, Jenny? Quickly, interjects Sloan isn’t taking anyone away from you.

Her eyes drift toward the window where snow has just started falling. At first it was light and quiet, barely noticeable, but now it’s beginning to fall in thick clumps, sticking to the glass, like something trying to get in. Kate pushes up her round brown glasses as a be of sweat drips from her forehead.

Did you not just hear them? They come waltzing in here on Thanksgiving to tell us they’re not going to be here on Christmas. Her voice trembles with a mix of hurt and disbelief For a moment, she questions whether or not she’s overreacting, but the thought vanishes as quickly as it came. Her stance is firm now.

There’s no going back. Jenny looks at her mother dumbfounded. She takes a deep breath to save herself from calling out her mother’s ridiculousness right here, right now. Yeah, they planned a vacation together. I think it’s perfectly acceptable. She runs a hand through her long, dirty blonde hair, exhaling sharply.

You can’t tell them not to go on vacation together. The snow was falling harder Now. Piling on the windowsill in soft, heavy heaps, like the weight of everything left unsaid in the room. But on Christmas, there are 364 other days of the year. Why’d they have to pick Christmas? Kate’s voice gets louder each time she talks and there is clear panic in her voice like she’s been robbed.

My guess is because they wanted to spend the holidays together. Jenny sarcastically replies, this isn’t some weird thing for a boyfriend to do with his girlfriend. Kate rolls her eyes before putting her head down and her hands and mumbling. You just watch Jenny. This is how it all starts. Then soon they’re just not going to show up for certain holidays.

She looks up staring off as if she just had an epiphany hearing her own words. Mom. You should be happy that Ferris found someone he loves and wants to spend his time with. Jenny says, resting a hand on her mom’s back. Now can we go back out there, put on a happy face, and enjoy the rest of Thanksgiving?

She raises both point of fingers to the corners of her mouth, exaggerating a smile. After a long pause, Kate pulls a tissue out of her pocket and dabs her face. Although Jenny didn’t see any tears. Fine. Kate stands tall, touches up her short brown hair, and forces a painful, wide smile. How’s this great?

Jenny gives her a swift thumbs up and gestures for her mother to follow her back out into the living room where the others are. GI is the first to step back into her parents’ living room. Where she spots her brother, Ferris at the fridge, grabbing two beers, one for their dad, Ted, and one for himself. The room is warm with the scent of Thanksgiving leftovers, and the muffled hum of conversation drifts in from the dining room.

You need more wine, babe. Ferris calls out over his shoulder. His voice casual but affectionate. His short, faintly golden hair with brown undertones is slightly tussled. A few strands falling in his face as he reaches for the fridge. Sloan is curled up on the couch, legs crossed, swirling the last bit of red wine in her glass, her long, almost black hair drapes over one shoulder, catching the warm glow of the Christmas lights.

She’s wearing a soft knit sweater, dress in a deep burgundy, paired with thick socks, comfortable yet casually stylish in a way that almost seems natural to her. She looks over at him with a small knowing. Smile. No, I still have some left. Thanks, Sloane. Smirks and turns just a little as she notices. Jenny walking back in.

Oh hey, everything okay? Her eyes flick between Jenny and Kate searching for any sign of what just happened. She knew Kate was upset about the trip. But sometimes it was easier to pretend she didn’t notice than to invite more drama. Yeah. Sorry about that. Jenny says quickly, my mom thought she ate something bad.

Her voice is light, but there’s a flicker of something else beneath it before Sloan can press GI shifts gears. So anyway, tell us more about your trip. Where are you guys going? She walks right up to Sloan and sits down at the chair across from her. Kate Reenters the room lingering near the doorway, arms crossed displeasure, practically radiating off her.

We’re going to Santa Monica. Sloan replies quietly combing her hair behind her ear. I’ve never been before. Ferris knows I hate the snow, so he planned for a warm vacation to get us out of here. It was all his idea, so he’ll have more of the details. She looks over at Ferris now seated next to her on the couch, Ferris hands, beer to his dad.

Then takes a sip of his own and leans back. Yeah, I mean, I don’t have too much planned yet, but I thought we’d escape the dreaded Milwaukee winter and soak up some sun for once. He nods toward the window where thick clumps of snow swirl in the wind. Before reaching over and gently taking Sloan’s hand Sloan glances down at their intertwined fingers, a soft smile forming as warmth blooms in her chest.

But even in the comfort of this moment, she can feel Kate’s disapproval lingering like a heavy cloud that refuses to pass. That sounds amazing. Jenny jumps in quickly. What do you think, mom? Doesn’t that sound fun? Her voice is too chipper. Eyes flicking toward Kate with the hope that a simple question might smooth over the crack in the room.

Ted shifts slightly in his chair. His gaze fixed on his wife. He raises his eyebrows just enough to signal, go easy, try to be happy, but it’s clear he’s bracing himself after almost 30 years of marriage. He knows her moods, her tells he knows exactly where this could be headed. When Kate answers, yeah, it sounds great.

With a snap of sarcasm. Ted Exhales just barely for a split second. It seems like that might be the end of it, but then he catches the sudden shift. In her expression. She gasps his shoulders, stiffen. Here it comes. Maybe we should all go. Her somber mood instantly flips to excitement making her way to the front of the room.

Sloan tenses, every instinct screams at her to shut the idea down, but she hesitates. It’s not her place. Kate has always been dismissive of her. Why would this moment be any different? Funny mom, Ferris cuts in forcing a chuckle, but there’s an edge of unease in his voice. No, I’m serious. Wouldn’t it be great?

Kate stands as if she’s launching into a full blown presentation. She turns to her husband, eyes bright with enthusiasm. Ted, shouldn’t we go? Ted? Takes a deep breath. Kate. We can go to Santa Monica any other time. I don’t think we need to hijack our son’s vacation with his girlfriend. He runs a hand across his forehead as if trying to smooth out the wrinkles.

He’s certain are forming. Oh, come on. It’ll be so much fun to spend Christmas together in California. Kate is starting to act like this is the best idea she’s ever had. She turns back towards Ferris, gesturing to the Christmas tree already up in the living room, decorated with ornaments, with brief reminders of their childhood.

You know how much Christmas means to me. Ferris opens his mouth like he’s about to say something when a defeated look appears on his face, and he stops. He knows his mom. She doesn’t take hearing no very well, and it would turn into a huge ordeal if he tries to push back Now. He tries to figure out a way to get her to back off a bit and decides to change the subject.

Leaning forward and peeking around Sloan to catch his dad’s eye. Wow. Dad, I am so full. That Turkey you made was fantastic. Way better than last year’s. Ted Beams about to respond. When Kate jumps in. It was, you really know how to make the holidays special around here. All of you. Her smile is a little too bright as she claps her hands together.

Now, who wants dessert? She asks already pivoting toward the kitchen. That sounds great. I’ll help you. Jenny says, as she shakes her head behind her mom and disappointment, as Kate and Jenny disappear into the kitchen, Ted leans in lowering his voice for only Ferris and Sloan to hear. Hey. He says, offering a warm smile.

I think the trip sounds perfect. You too deserve it. He pauses his eyes flicking toward the kitchen, and you know how your mother is. She just needs a minute to adjust. Don’t let it ruin your plans. Ferris puts his arm around Sloan gently pulling her closer. There was no doubt in his mind. Sloan didn’t want his mom on their couple’s vacation and he wasn’t going to let it happen.

It wasn’t unusual for his mom to try to control new situations. In the past, he might’ve let it slide, but not this time. Sloan was different. She was his person. She was articulate, compassionate and beautiful, but not in a way that banked for attention. More like the kind of beauty that you noticed slowly.

Then couldn’t unsee. Ferris used to tell his mom everything back when he was a kid. It had felt natural, easy even. She always knew what to say. Always had a plan. But then he remembered the summer after seventh grade. He had been obsessed with skateboarding, saving up every dollar from mowing lawns to buy his first board.

He and his best friend Ben, would spend hours practicing tricks, wiping out on the pavement, laughing at their bruises until Kate decided it was dangerous. He’s a bad influence. She had told him one night, arms crossed, lips pressed into a thin line. Always pushing you to do reckless things. You’ll break an arm Ferris, and what about school?

You need to focus. He had argued, of course he had, but then came the nagging, the disappointed size, the gentle, but firm reminders of all the things she had done for him. I’m only trying to protect you, and so he quit. He told Ben he was too busy and that his mom needed his help around the house. It wasn’t true, but it was easier than fighting about it or living with guilt.

Now, years later, Ferris knew better. He saw the pattern, the way she packaged control as concern. It wasn’t just about skateboarding or friends or even his career. It was everything, every choice, every step he took, which is why he barely told her anything anymore. They enjoyed their dessert together.

Moving past the idea of them all, going to Santa Monica for Christmas. Ferris did his best to get his mom talking about her new book club with the neighbor Ladies after dessert, he and Sloane start inching their way to the door, getting on their shoes and coats so they can head home. Oh, leaving so soon.

Kate’s voice carries a hint of surprise, though it’s clear she’s more focused on keeping them there than acknowledging how difficult she could be. Sloan turns and smiles at Kate trying to keep things light. Yeah, it’s getting light. I’m hoping to call my mom on the way home since we didn’t get to see her this year for Thanksgiving.

Kate ignores Sloan’s comment and turns towards Ferris. Well, bye guys. It was so great having you guys here for Thanksgiving, as you should be for all holidays. Kate accentuates the all to make sure they remember where she stands. Ferris forces a smile before placing his hand on Sloan’s back as they turn to leave.

I’ll meet you in the car in just a sec. I forgot to grab some pie to take home. Oh yeah, sure. Bye Kate. Bye, Ted. Thanks again for having us. The food was delicious. Sloan says, wrapping her scarf around her neck as she stepped out of the house. Okay, so there’s pumpkin and apple pie left. Which did you want?

You know what, I’ll go grab you some of each. Kate says as she hurs into the kitchen. Um, I’ll have some apple, but actually I don’t really need any pie. Ferris says, checking to make sure Sloan hasn’t walked back into the house. He looks directly at his mom. Can I talk to you for a second? Sure. Of course.

Look, I’m really excited for this vacation. I’m going to start planning tonight. Kate interrupts a little too quickly. Ted easing his way back into the living room, props his legs up in the recliner. His eyes are tired and it’s clear he’s had enough for the night. He knows exactly how his wife can be, so he shuts down, retreating into his own space.

No, mom, you can’t come. Ferris says his tone firmer this time. What do you mean? Why? Oh wait. You’re breaking up with Sloan, aren’t you? I knew something was off tonight. What? No, nothing was off with us tonight. I’d really like this trip to just be Sloan and me so we can have some time alone. A long time.

Kate Scoffs. What do you need alone time for? You already live together. I hardly see you anymore. She pauses before adding. I wouldn’t want to intrude, but maybe I could just stay nearby. Dad and I will get our own hotel room. We’ll have our own time, but we can meet up for dinners and stuff. She continues rummaging through the kitchen cabinets.

Searching for a container bag big enough for the leftover pie. No, I’m sorry. I love you, but this trip is for Sloan in me. I need you to respect that Ferris states for a moment. Kate wonders if she’s being too harsh, if maybe she’s giving him a reason to pull away. But the thought is bleeding. She quickly reminds herself of everything she’s done for him over the years.

He still needs her. Well, what if something happens? I could help you plan it. It’s already planned and paid for Ferris Exhales. But look, I need to tell you why. It just needs to be the two of us. Okay? Kate stops what she’s doing and stands there wide-eyed, staring at her son. Actually, I kind of want to tell Dad too really quickly.

Hey dad, can you come in here, Ted Hurries over from the other room to join them. So really quick, I want to talk to you and mom to let you know why I want to take Sloan on vacation. Just the two of us. Oh man, I think I know where this is going. Ted says, with a big smile on his face. Ferris looks over at his mom.

Who looks like she’s just seen a ghost. I actually plan on surprising Sloan and proposing the first night we’re there, the room goes silent and Ferris looks at both of his parents for any kind of approval. Ted looks at Kate waiting for her reaction, proposing what? She responds slowly. Her voice tinged with uncertainty as she tries to piece it all together.

She knew exactly what he meant, but if he saw how confused she was, maybe he would take it as a sign that the timing wasn’t right. Come on, Kate. Ted finally jumps in. Oh my gosh, Ferris, this is so exciting. He walks up and wraps his arms around his son. Giving him a strong, reassuring pat on the back, the silent gesture filled with unspoken.

Congratulations. Kate just stands there staring at the two of them, vowing her naivety. Marriage Mom Ferris says, is he loosened his dad’s grip on him and turns. What else am I going to propose? What, but you hardly know her. Are you sure she’s the right one for you? She starts shuffling around the kitchen, cleaning up items from dinner, forgetting about the pie completely.

Ted is caught in the middle looking around like he’s praying for an out. I don’t consider two and a half years together. Hardly knowing each other. Yes, I know she’s the right one for me. Ferris’s voice is tight as he peers out the window behind him to make sure Sloan is okay in the car. His mom isn’t backing down, but you are so young.

Maybe just give it some more time. Ted can’t hold his tongue anymore. I think what your mom is trying to say is congratulations, right to Kate, he says. Looking over at her, giving her every opportunity to change her tune. Congratulations. It hasn’t even happened yet. He is just telling us his hypothetical plan.

He still has to really think about it. She smiles. I don’t think you realize how big of a decision this truly is for her. She says Condescendingly putting her hand on the counter to reach out and touches. Ferris pulls his hand back and moves away from the counter. Okay, well I can see where this conversation is going.

He takes a moment to take a breath and gather himself. Thank you Dad for the congratulations. Sloan’s waiting in the car, so I gotta get going, but um, thanks. I guess he hurries past his parents and out the door before he realizes he forgot the pie, sh*t.

by Christa Innis

Dress Codes, Divided Families & Day-Of Disasters With Lisa P.

What happens when a dream wedding breaks more than just budgets?

In this episode, Lisa Pontius shares how her whirlwind romance turned into a wedding that fractured friendships—literally.

From unexpected parent fallout to the silent war of traditions and finances, Christa and Lisa unpack the hidden landmines of wedding planning that no one warns you about.

Plus, they dive into viral hot takes—from guest dress codes to social media restrictions—and ask: are you really ready to get married, or just pressured to?

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month!

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

00:34 Lisa’s Background and Content Focus

01:25 Self-Care and Mental Health Through Fashion

02:48 Crazy Wedding Stories Begin

03:06 Lisa’s Wedding Journey and Family Drama

05:07 Wedding Planning Stress and Family Dynamics

14:21 Wedding Hot Takes and Opinions

25:02 Wedding Story Submissions

28:26 Wedding Mishaps in the Heat

30:26 Rainy Wedding Stories

31:59 Reception Disasters

33:54 The Missing Bride and Groom

38:02 Wedding Planning Realities

42:37 Weekly Confessions

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

When the In-Laws Stop Speaking – Lisa shares how her and her husband’s parents became friends, then stopped speaking after the wedding drama unfolded.
Wedding Planning Pressure Cooker – Money, expectations, and tradition clashed hard during Lisa’s wedding, revealing everyone’s “ugliest selves.”
The Myth of the Perfect Day – Lisa reflects on being the bride: “I wish I had been a guest at my own wedding.”
Hot Take: Dress Code Boundaries – Lisa and Christa break down why curating your event is not controlling—it’s thoughtful.
Unrealistic Wedding Expectations – How Pinterest weddings and movie moments set brides up for anxiety and disappointment.
Setting Social Media Limits – Can couples really control what guests post? Lisa shares her surprisingly balanced take.
Marriage > Wedding – With 12 years of marriage behind her, Lisa offers clarity on what really matters post-vows.
Planning Regrets and Lessons Learned – Why day-of coordinators are non-negotiable, and what every bride should do first.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“My number one tip for brides—get on the same page with your partner first. Block out all the noise.” – Christa Innis
“Weddings bring out everyone’s true colors… and not always in a good way.” – Christa Innis
“You cannot blame the wedding party for a day you refused to plan.” – Christa Innis
“Marriage should enhance your life—not be the only thing holding it together.” – Christa Innis
“You don’t have to follow a timeline. Everyone’s journey is different.” – Christa Innis
“Everyone is kind of their ugliest selves around wedding planning. It’s a recipe for disaster.” – Lisa P.
“I joke that I wish I had been a guest at my wedding—being the bride was not awesome.” – Lisa P.
“Weddings are not indicative of marriage. They’re a totally weird, standalone experience.” – Lisa P.
“You’re not just curating photos. You’re curating an entire experience.” – Lisa P.
“Be careful who your parents become friends with. You might be stuck with them forever.” – Lisa P.

About Lisa

Lisa Pontius is a New Yorker-turned-Charleston housewife who brings bold opinions, vintage glam, and real talk to every conversation. A former culinary school grad and kitchen pirate, Lisa traded 12-hour shifts for southern living—and never looked back. She first began sharing her story online during the pandemic and quickly found her voice talking about motherhood, self-worth, toxic relationships, and societal norms—always with a splash of style. Now known for her blend of 1950s glamour and modern edge, Lisa dishes up a mix of fashion, fire, and unfiltered honesty that’s anything but boring.

Follow Lisa P.

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi, Lisa. Thank you so much for joining me.

Lisa P: Hi. Thank you for having me.

Christa Innis: Yes, I am so excited to dive into this. like we were just saying before, recording, there’s so much drama when it comes around weddings and events and all that stuff. But before I talk too much, can you just tell everyone a little bit about you and, I don’t know, like maybe what interested you in coming on?

I feel like I’ve seen your content. A lot and I feel like you share a lot of important takes so I’m just interested to hear a little bit more about you and, what kinda I interested you.

Lisa P: Yeah. well, I’m Lisa. My handle is, it’s me, Lisa p across all socials. I share a lot about motherhood and relationships on my page, so, the conversation of weddings absolutely comes up.

The conversation of marriage comes up. So, I was intrigued to kind of come on here and talk about some of the drama that surrounds it. but yeah, my content really focuses on. relationship motherhood centered, but with like a real life spin. I like to kind of get to the why of the way things are, in a cute outfit.

So a little bit

Christa Innis: of everything. Yeah. I just say like, I love your style. I am always like you so put together. And I like thought about that when I was like coming on. I was like, okay, I need to make sure I’m like. dressed well because I know Lisa will be, she has such good style.

Lisa P: Listen, I love an outfit, but I’m just as likely to show up in, like my gym clothes if I haven’t had a chance to get changed.

So I totally get it. I just, this is one of my like self-care pick me up things that kind of got me out of my motherhood blues, and I consistently keep up with it because I know it’s. Like such a mental health thing for me.

Christa Innis: Yes. I am right there with you that I did the same thing. Like especially with working from home, I feel like you don’t see a lot of people all the time or like, I’m just here with my child.

And so sometimes it was just like, I need that feeling of like getting ready. And so like, even when I was home during like COVID, I was like, I need to like make sure I like, do something to make for myself. It’s like an

Lisa P: art. I think I got more into it actually during COVID because I was already a stay at home mom.

But I had that like busy schedule outside of the home, so I’d go from like gym to running errands to being with the kids. So I like wouldn’t have that time. And then once everyone was home, yeah, like fully sweat panted, I was like, oh no, no, no. I gotta get up and put some pants on because Yeah. Otherwise this is gonna be it for the next decade for sure.

Yeah.

Christa Innis: Oh, a hundred percent. I know. I was like, I can’t be someone, I can’t just like sit. In sweats all day Of course, there are days I am in sweats all day. I will not never deny that. I love a good sweatsuit, but If I’m like doing something from home, I’m like, I still need to like do something or else I will just melt into my bed.

Lisa P: For sure. It shifts your energy I think and it like definitely makes me feel more, especially ’cause I’m around little people all day, you know? It makes me feel like a little bit more adult.

Christa Innis: Yes, absolutely. I love that. Okay, so jumping into like crazy stories, people love hearing the crazy wedding stories.

I’m sure we’ve all have witnessed. I know I have some things you have. A situation, I dunno if situation’s the right word, something that happened in your family when it’s relating to weddings and marriage. So I dunno if you wanna talk a little bit more about that.

Parents Became Best Friends… Until the Wedding Planning Began

Lisa P: Sure. so I feel like I have to preface this with me and my husband moved very quickly, like right after we met.

We knew that was at one, like we were ready. I think we like attempted to put a deposit on a wedding venue down before we were even like. Publicly engaged. Wow. So it was very untraditional in that sense. And I think that sort of started off the entire wedding journey with our respective families and kind of threw everyone for a loop from the get go.

we were just ready to get married as soon as we met. And, yeah, so we actually met because. My parents who were like new transplants to Charleston, which is where I’m still living. they had met his parents and they had become fast friends, so they. Friends first before I had even met my husband, before I had even like, heard of my husband.

Christa Innis: and somehow, like through the process of us getting married, their relationship completely disintegrated. And you hear it all the time with weddings that like friendships will break up.

Mm-hmm.

Lisa P: But like, this was so out of left field because these were like the adults in the room, right. Like these were the parents.

Christa Innis: Yeah, especially too, because like, I dunno, I feel like that’s like a dream for a lot of people. Like they meet and then it’s like, oh my gosh, maybe our kids will get married. You know? Like it just,

Lisa P: well we thought we had it hacked. We thought we were about to hit the grandparent lottery of like, oh, we’ll have kids and they’ll just all watch these kids and just hang out.

Like, this will be great. It did not work out like that.

Christa Innis: Was it the wedding planning? And of course like if, there’s anything like. Too intrusive or you don’t wanna share, like, just stop me. do you think the wedding planning or like the moving fast or anything with that, that had to do with it or just like happened soon?

I think

Lisa P: so. It was 100% the wedding mostly. I mean, I don’t, again, I’m not privy to like what went on behind closed doors in their friendship. There might have been like some underlying stuff, like, who knows, right? that’s their drama. But the wedding. Added so much like pressure onto it and onto me and my husband at the time too.

Wedding planning is extremely stressful. There’s money involved, there’s like traditions involved. There’s a lot of things that like are much more serious than like a social relationship, and sometimes you kind of, what I think happened is like their incompatibilities as. Friends kind of got blown up like blown wider because of the wedding planning and the pressure of that.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I was just talking to someone how like weddings, especially when you bring in two families together, almost brings in this like Unnecessary comparison though, right? Because it’s like if someone’s like, let’s say like family A is like really into planning and like maybe they have a little more finances or something.

The other one not so much. They might feel a little like. Uh, not insecure about it, but they might be like, Ooh, like I’m uncomfortable with this, or I feel like they’re doing so much and I can’t do enough, or, I’m being pushed out. when that might not be actually happening. They might just kind of have those feelings of like.

what’s going on here?

Lisa P: I think everybody wants it to be like, really, even like really down the line. And like in movies you see it, you know, there’s like the bride side and the groom side, and it’s equal. And I think that’s just not as realistic as like it actually goes down.

I know in our situation, both of my parents are only children, so there isn’t like a huge extended family on that end. But traditionally the bride pays for the wedding. So like. There was a lot of like, well, this seems like a lot of your people and like, we don’t have a lot of people and we had a very small wedding anyway because that’s just what we wanted.

but it definitely. Everyone had a lot of feelings about it, about like how many people were coming, how many cousins we could invite, who all was gonna be there, who all was paying for what, and it just, ugh.

Christa Innis: It like there’s so many Yeah. Opinions that come into a wedding that it’s like, it’s so hard. My number one tip for brides like that, like watch and like listen. I’m just like, get on the same page with your partner first. Block out all the noise because it’s so hard. It’s like you get people coming in that you maybe never had an opinion on anything before.

And they come in, they’re like, you need this. And you’re like, wait, do I need, yeah. Where did this come from?

Lisa P: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think weddings are in some way, like. Not indicative at all of marriage. So I think it’s such a weird standalone experience. And again, I’m now looking at it like 12. We just celebrated our 12 year anniversary, so like 12 years later, all the feelings have subsided.

We can laugh at it now, right? we can all laugh at the drama and the craziness and how stressed we were because it wasn’t the end of the world at the end of the day, we got married and we’ve been married and marriage is longer right than,the wedding part, but. I think, you know, the family’s coming together.

This is the first time where people have to like work together, you know, work within each other’s boundaries. Maybe set some boundaries, maybe do things that their mother-in-law doesn’t like. Maybe like these are the first things that you’re like, oh, I’m not gonna be able to make everyone happy and myself happy all at the same day the same way.

Christa Innis: Yeah, yeah, that’s true. It’s like all the personalities coming together and. Certain ones really shining a certain a way me might not have seen before. I’ve definitely seen it in a lot of weddings. I’ve seen it in a lot of just events in general. Just like family events. You see like, oh, that’s how they, they are in this light.

Right? Or this is, that’s how feel about that. Interesting. Yeah. I feel like, you know, it’s just like. Especially like you don’t know what other pressures they’re getting. Like I know like just certain brides, like I’ve known before, they get married and then I know them during their wedding and I know them after their wedding and I’m like, oh, some of them were different people during all of those stages.

And not saying good or bad, I’m just saying like they just had different pressures put on them or different, you know, situations. And it’s just interesting how that comes up.

Lisa P: I mean, I know I felt victim to like the want everything to be perfect, like hyper fixating. I think brides in general do that. I think that’s where the bride Silda comes from.

Yep. Um, because there’s so much pressure to want this day to be this like picture perfect. Oh my God. Once in a million like time moment. And there’s so much pressure on it that I like. Oh my God. I, I joke with people all the time that I wish I had been a guest at my wedding. ’cause my wedding was awesome. Being the bride at my wedding was not awesome.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I, I heard that so many times and I was one of the later ones, like outta my friend group. I was like the la one of the last ones to get married. And I, my husband and I had been in so many weddings, so I’ve seen so many and I heard so many bride say that they were like.

I didn’t get to enjoy it or like there was too much of this going on or I kept getting pulled in different directions and so I was like, okay, I wanna try so hard not for that, to that to happen. Of course it did in to some extent, but yeah, you hear about that so many times. You put all this pressure on this day and half the time the bride and groom don’t get to enjoy it the way they want to.

Lisa P: Yeah. I think there’s just so much anxiety and so much riding on it and like. I feel like that contributed a ton to our parents, like kind of having a friend break up, um, during it for sure. Because everyone is kind of like, and this sounds terrible because it’s like a day of love, but like everyone’s kind of their ugliest selves, um, around like wedding planning.

’cause there’s big money and there’s big expectations and there’s big family. It’s a recipe for disaster. Yeah. Like, it’s just a recipe for like, something to happen. Like there’s gonna be some drama. It could be like with your girlfriends, it could be with like a bridesmaid or a groomsman or like, it doesn’t have to be your immediate family, but like, something’s coming up.

Christa Innis: Yeah, yeah. Oh, that’s for sure. It’s, they say everyone’s like, true colors come out during like intense moments and events like that. Um, so moving past that, so they kind of just like drifted apart and like. Now at family events, they just kinda like drift by. They like still aren’t

They Were Supposed to Be Co-Grandparents

Lisa P: friends. Um, they are co grandparents.

Um, and there are like family events where everybody comes and everyone’s like, fine and peaceful. But like I, I almost like to the point where I almost forget that they used to hang out like independently before us. You know what I mean? Like mm-hmm. They act like Stranger Law grandparents. Um, but yeah, they used to like.

Have beers by the pool and hang out and like that just blows my mind.

Christa Innis: Wow, that’s so interesting. It’s interesting how relationships can just change so quickly like that when you go through an experience, I guess.

Lisa P: Well, and I’m sure they, they all in their own way probably like, ugh, we’re gonna have to see them forever.

Like a divorced couple. Yes.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like they’re literally going through all those stages. ’cause they’re gonna. Like they, yeah, you can’t just ghost

Lisa P: each

Christa Innis: other and like never

Lisa P: see each other again because it would be easier, like you could totally do that one. One set of these parents doesn’t even live here anymore, so like it would be easy to never even think about each other except for the fact that you share grandchildren now.

So be careful who your friends are. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh, yes. Wow. Yeah, I would say that would be a, I don’t even know if I would call the crazy story. It’s, it’s sad that that happens and it’s like sad that there’s like pressure on weddings and stuff, but, uh, I guess I. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be at the end, but

Lisa P: it, it was meant to be because you guys met through it.

I like to think that they were friends only for long enough to like bring me and my husband together. That’s my like silver lining about it, that they were never really meant to be friends. That that was kind of part of like the plan.

Christa Innis: Yes. I love that. I love that. And you guys knew right off the beginning, right from the bat that it was meant to.

Lisa P: Yeah, we knew. We knew really early and like, I know everybody says that. Some people get that like light bulb moment. Personally, like full disclosure, I didn’t have the light bulb moment. My husband had the light bulb moment. Um, but he, yeah, he turned to his dad after the first weekend we had met and we met at my dad’s.

60th birthday and we met because I flew down to Charleston for my dad’s birthday. And my husband’s parents were guests at like this birthday party, Shindi situation. And they like roped him into coming to kind of like, hang out with me ’cause I would be the only like under 60-year-old person. Um, and that’s how we met.

We were like kind of, they say it was like, it wasn’t a setup, but. It worked.

Christa Innis: Yeah. It like wasn’t a set up, but they were like, he’s got a son. They’ve got a son. I don’t know. You’re home. Yeah. Like, take your son maybe. Yeah. It was all meant to be in, in just a, a different kind of way. Um, all right. I love that.

Thanks. Thanks for sharing that. Um, okay, let’s get into some wedding hot takes. So these are different hot takes that people. Send to me on my stories and we’re just gonna kind of react to them, say what you kind of, what you think about them. Okay. Um, all right. Should couples get to control what guests post on social media about their wedding?

Lisa P: I guess it depends before or after the wedding, but like, I don’t think so.

Christa Innis: I know I’ve never really heard of that before. Lately I’ve been getting a few more like that, that are saying like, I don’t see, I was never like. I

Lisa P: feel like I got maybe too early to like even have that as like a conversation because like, like the hashtag thing hadn’t happened.

So I don’t think you can control everyone around you. No, unfortunately, no. Yeah. I feel

Christa Innis: like when it comes to like, okay, the bride’s getting ready and she hasn’t like come out yet. Yeah. Like don’t post.

Lisa P: Yeah. Don’t

Christa Innis: post a picture

Lisa P: of the bride in her dress before she does her like walk down the aisle. Like, be respectful.

Don’t post any pictures where the bride looks bad. I feel like that’s just not being a, a friend. Right? Like, you know, if you catch her like picking a booger, maybe don’t post that one. Um, but yeah, as far as like what they can share, I, I don’t see a problem with it.

Christa Innis: I feel it’s like the age we live in, it’s like you just know, like being a bride or groom at the wedding.

Like people are gonna take pictures, hopefully not during the ceremony if you have no photos, but you know.

Lisa P: Yeah, you’re not just gonna be able to share your professional photos. People will have like candidates and stuff.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And last times those turn out really good. I mean, I didn’t have photos like during the ceremony, but like I had some random like f friends that took photos, like during our fir first dance that were like so good that like just, they just happened to catch.

And I was like, you don’t. Yeah.

Lisa P: Um, we had a great video. We had a videographer, which I think was like pretty new when we got married. We got married in 2013, so like, okay. It was a while ago. Um, so we had a videographer and we had a photographer and I wanted a lot of those candid, so we did get a good amount of those, which I’m so thankful for because I think those are so fun.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I know. I ended up liking ’cause Yeah, we did the same, we had two photographers and a videographer and I loved the candid photos like so much more than the stage ones. Like the stage ones. I was like, oh no.

Lisa P: That was one of the things I had to fight my family on ’cause I wanted like a very. I guess now you would call it like editorial style.

Mm-hmm. Photography. Um, ’cause I just thought it was so romantic and pretty and like again, this was right like in the middle of Pinterest wedding, so I was like, let me do something a little different. Um, and they were like, no, you have to have the like portraits. We have to do every family member in every iteration stand there, smile, portrait.

And I was like, okay. That one. I was fine.

Christa Innis: You’re like, all right, that’s your thing. Okay. Yeah, I know

Lisa P: I have those though now, but

Mood Boards, Dress Codes & Wedding Boundaries

Christa Innis: I, yeah, it’s like I feel like they’re the ones that like look nice, but like I felt like when I was looking through them, I was like, that just doesn’t look like me. But yeah, you gotta have those, but sometimes you gotta do the old school thing for sure.

Yeah, it’s good. It’s a balance. Um, all. Is it setting boundaries or just controlling to ban certain songs, colors, or styles from your wedding? Because I’ve been hearing this more and more about people like setting a certain, like, no,

Lisa P: actually, I think that’s setting boundaries. In fact, I don’t think it’s controlling.

I think it is like, I think it’s curating. Mm,

Christa Innis: mm-hmm.

Lisa P: You’re curating your event. And I’m a girl who loves a theme. Okay. So like, if someone gave me a color palette and a vibe, I would be fucking psyched. Um, because I’d be like, what we’re doing glam Met Gala, black Tie. Got it. Like, I feel like. I think that is curating not just like the after products, like the photos and stuff, but you’re curating the whole experience.

Mm-hmm. Which makes it a more immersive experience in general, and that kind of elevates everyone’s exper experience.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I was just talking to someone about it and people get so offended by. Being told there’s a theme or like certain things to follow, but as like a planner as like, I don’t know, type A in, in some aspects, I love being told it too.

Like if they’re like, wear a shade of pink. I’m like, let me find my best pink. Um, let me look for it. Yeah,

Lisa P: no, I know at least that, you know, the expectation I, my biggest pet peeve is where it’s like so randomly vague that you’re like, what does this mean? Yeah, like barn cocktail, I’m like. Our boots too much, right?

Like where are we at? Like which level? Give me, give me more references. Gimme a Pinterest board. That would be great. Gimme a reference. Yeah. I have a friend of mine who does this constantly and she’s a, like a photo stylist and like it’s very on brand for her. This is what she does, like her living. But whenever she has an event, she will send out a mood board.

Oh my gosh, I love that. Or like outfits. So she had, um, her, God, was it her 40th? I think it, no, it couldn’t have been her 40th. Anyway, she had a big birthday that just happened and she had it at a magic show and she sent out a mood board and everybody showed up and showed out. And like we were the only group that was dressed up.

Okay. Like circus for performers. But we were all doing it together. Okay. Yeah. And it had colors, it had mood and vibe, and she was like, this is the vibe. And everyone was like. Bet and like someone came as like the rabbit coming out of the hat. It was wild, but it was so much fun. Oh gosh. If you’re not to that, I can understand why that would be intimidating, but you could still just pick colors.

Yes. You know, you could, you could still adhere to it.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I think it’s nice because when there’s those times, certain events, not necessarily a wedding, but we’re like. It looks like everyone’s attending a different event. Like someone’s in a formal dress, someone’s in like leggings and a t-shirt, and it’s like, we’re like, what’s the, I always, I feel like I always try to dress a little nicer than I think ’cause I’m like, I don’t ever look under.

Take it from me. Yes. That was like, I feel like someone told me that years ago and I was like, yeah, I always wanna be a little, little over, because you never really know what to, what

Lisa P: to expect. Yeah. Well, listen, if someone’s gonna talk about you, you would rather them talk about like, wow, she was really overdressed, but that was a great outfit.

Yes. Than like, oh, yikes. You know what I mean? Like you’d always rather be like shining. Yes. Yeah. Like let’s not wear like jeans to a wedding. But I also feel like the dress code thing has gotten very convoluted in between like our parents’ generation and our generation and now like the younger generation getting married.

I feel like people really don’t understand, and I see this on TikTok all the time, and I feel like since you’re in the wedding sphere, you probably see it a lot, but like people don’t understand the difference between cocktail and black tie or black tie and white tie and these sort of like. I feel like giving the vibe and the color and like a theme is like the new way of doing that.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yeah, I agree. Because I’ve definitely have spent time like googling, like, okay, it says cocktail formal. And I’m like, what does that mean? Is that like a step up from cocktail? And I’m like, what does that mean? Um, so yeah, I, I agree. I feel like that’s their way of like helping them out. Like some people take it as like.

Oh, it’s so, um, you know, Bri the Bridezilla term so entitled, so it’s bridezilla to do this, but I’m like, I feel like from a bride’s perspective, they’re like, no, I’m, I’m trying to help. Like, I’m just like giving you some guidelines so you like, it’s easier. You’re like,

Lisa P: yeah, it’s a formal event, but it’s also like in a meadow with like grass and flowers and like, yeah, you might not wanna come in like a sequined ball gown.

Like, it’s just not gonna fit the vibe. So like, yeah, here’s the thing.

Christa Innis: Yes. We want you to feel comfortable and at home here. That’s why I always think about it. Um, awesome. What was the last one? Should a maid of honor or best man ever bring someone the bride or groom used to date? Oh, I’m gonna say no.

Lisa P: No, that’s not even like a hot take.

That’s like a obvious one. Yeah,

Christa Innis: I would, I would hope not. I’ve been seeing these like crazy stories lately. Um, someone commented on a video saying that. She was at a wedding where the maid of honor gave a speech for her sister. He was her twin sister. Turns out she had dated the groom before and in her speech talked about how she was a better sister and that he should have picked her.

I was like, how is this real? Like I, I don’t

Lisa P: you marry your sister’s ex-boyfriend. That’s what my thought. Like that. Wait, yeah. Like five steps back.

Christa Innis: How? How? Yeah. I was like, ’cause she’s like, he, when he met the twin, he’d left the other one. So I’m like, how intense was like, were they like teenagers and dated or were they like living together?

Yeah. Was

Lisa P: this like 10 years apart? You know what I mean? Like dated the sister in middle school. Right. Maybe if that’s the situation where it was like a, you know, you were eight years old in third grade handing notes back together and you were like, this is my boyfriend. And then like. If your sister started doing him in college, then I could get it.

That’s like the only scenario I could see that being Right. That’s like just really tricky waters. Like I just like not for me, not for me. It’s not for me. Absolutely not. I have two sisters and never has there been a stream crossed ever in any way, nor would there ever. That is just, Nope.

Christa Innis: No thank you. No, I’m the same with friends too.

Like I know people that I’m like, oh, I dated my friend’s ex, whatever. I’m just like, once a friend is like with that person, I’m like, no, I’m good. Thank you.

Lisa P: Agree. The closest I ever did was I dated for like a long time. A guy that my friend had like a hookup once with, and there was a conversation ahead of time.

Like, there’s gotta be a cur, like a courtesy call, right? Being like, Hey, is this weird for you? Is this okay? Are we okay? Yes. Yeah. ’cause that’s just, that’s real code. I mean, you’ve gotta, oh, sure. You, you can’t date someone’s like. No, that’s no. Yeah, don’t

Christa Innis: bring ’em to a wedding. Please. Definitely. Also don’t

Lisa P: bring them to the wedding.

Christa Innis: Yeah, no surprises. Especially. Okay, let’s get into this week’s wedding story submission. So these are a bunch of submissions that are sent to me. I don’t read them ahead of time, and we’ll just react in real time. So feel free to stop me or I’ll pause and here we go. Let’s brace ourselves. Okay. This wedding was just one crazy thing after another.

We all flew across the country from Oregon to Georgia. So, um, though some of us flew into Nashville and drove to save some money so the bride could get married at her parents’ house. The thing is they lived in a pretty normal subdivision and Georgia that they had moved to after she went off to college.

So she had no emotional attachment to it, and very few attendees lived nearby. She had been there for a month preparing for the wedding, but when we arrived the week before, she hadn’t done anything with the fake flowers to make them into bouquets. Hadn’t picked a single song for the dj, not even first dance, so we jumped in to help.

While I was helping her compose the song list, her dad yelled at me for being on his computer, even though his daughter was sitting right there with me. The morning of the wedding, the bride was on the front yard, in the front yard, setting up chairs for the ceremony and starting to yell, I’m claustrophobic if you’re not helping set up chairs, get out of the yard and none of you are helping.

We tried to help, but she really didn’t know what she needed help with and kept redoing everything herself, like moving chairs half an inch to the right. Yikes. Um. When she was finally getting ready to get dressed, her mom was nowhere to be found. After waiting over an hour, we sent the bride’s brother to check the neighbor’s houses, and they found her mom getting her hair and makeup done there.

When she finally came back to the bridal suite, which was actually just the master bedroom, the bride wanted a picture of her mom helping her into her dress. For some reason, instead of stepping into it, they lifted it up over her head and fell straight onto the mother of brides. Freshly applied bright red lipstick.

Oh my God, that, that’s my nightmare. That’s terrible. She said yes. It stained the dress. Oh no. If she’s already like that panicky, that’s razzled

Lisa P: and pissed off. Oh my God.

Christa Innis: Uh, everyone panicked. I ran to the computer. This was 2009, no smartphones yet, so I googled to how to, how to get lipstick out of the wedding dress.

I don’t even remember what the solution was, but we found the instructions and luckily the stain wasn’t too noticeable in photos, so we moved on with the day. The bride had insisted to get these fancy high heels that matched the floral belt on her dress. Most of the bridesmaids didn’t order them in time, but we all had to have heels and colors that coordinated with the floral belt.

I was her roommate, so I made sure to order them early. They were expensive and uncomfortable. You were talking about like the having everyone look the same. Um, and of course we had to walk through a yard in them since the aisle was in the grass,

Lisa P: so that was something that was not thought through. Like, this is already just like bad planning like this, this can all be attributed to a lot of bad planning.

Christa Innis: Yeah. This is just like not thinking of like the logistics behind everything. It’s like, yeah, you want these great shoes, but we’re gonna be walking in muddy grass or you know, through the grass. Yeah. Yeah. Ooh. I’m already like bat in heels, so walking in grass is terrible. Um, okay. We basically, um, aerated that lawn, our aerated the lawn ourselves.

I nearly lost a shoe and another bridesmaid almost fell. They, they scheduled the ceremony for 5:00 PM in direct sunlight. In the middle of July, the bride was sweating so much. One of her brothers, a groomsman, passed a handkerchief to the best man who passed it to the groom and handed it to the bride so she could wipe her face.

Oh, that’s another thing. Weddings, outdoor in the middle of the summer. Like you, it’s so hard to plan for. Like I’ve been to a wedding in the middle of July and same thing, we were like covered in sweat. The sun was literally like in our eyes. I dunno how the writing room felt. Oh my gosh. Well

Lisa P: then your hair.

Yeah, and like the hair, the makeup, the whole thing. Like it’s just

Christa Innis: all that time and money is just,

Lisa P: yeah, I know. We got married at the end of April and in Charleston it’s like hit or miss. We like, luckily had a good day, but we almost got rained out so could go the other way.

Christa Innis: Right. And I feel like that’s, it’s like so hard.

’cause you never know, every month has their kind of battles. Like, same with us. We got married the end of March. And it could be like rain, almost rainy season. We had every kinda weather that day. It was like snow, sun, rain or like whatever. Bring it our way. It’s fine. I think I would take

Lisa P: most things over.

Sweating though. Yeah. Rain. I feel like you could just be like, oh well, like

Christa Innis: there’s been a lot of pretty weddings I’ve seen online with rain and they like have like their umbrellas and it’s all like decked

Lisa P: out still. Do you know that scene from Pirates of the Caribbean? It’s like the second one where she’s like.

The wedding got interrupt, interrupted, but she’s like being rained on. Yes. And I always thought that was so beautiful that you could do this like white gothic wedding almost. If you had like the right vibe, it could definitely work out.

Christa Innis: Yes, and I, and I always look at those brides too, and I’m like. This is a bride that’s there to get married.

She’s like more of like, yes. Like let’s look, make it look a aesthetic and everything. But like, I love when they just show them like running down the aisle or like at the end, like getting rained on. I’m like, I love, that’s, it’s romantic. Yeah, it really is.

Lisa P: It’s, it’s an underrated. We had a, we went to one where it was pouring rain and luckily it, like, it was pouring rain the whole way up until like the, like the, she had to walk down the aisle.

Like we were sitting there. Everyone had like. So, you know, our programs covering our heads, like it was raining and then it stopped. Oh my god, I’m gonna get chills. Um, and this like wasn’t even my wedding. And she, she walks down the aisle, the sun comes out, and a rainbow, a double rainbow comes out at the end of their ceremony.

And I just remember thinking like. That’s amazing. Like Bravo, like I had the best photos. Yeah, the photos were unreal. Like it was so well done. Well done weather. Like it was well done. I love that,

Christa Innis: that

Lisa P: Yeah, that’s the thing too. It does not always happen that way, but I was very happy for her.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I feel like right after our rain, it’s like everything just looks like a little brighter, like Yeah.

That’s amazing. I love that, but the

Lisa P: sweating like a pig. Not so much.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Lisa P: That I, that I’m kind of out on. There’s no aesthetic way to like handle that. There’s no glistening,

Melted Makeup, Broken Microwaves & Bridezilla Chaos

Christa Innis: no, I’m definitely not one to glisten when I’m sweating either. Um, after the ceremony we took a few pictures and they sent us. Up to the reception venue, a community center in their neighborhood, about half a mile away.

The caterers arrived at the same time the bridal party did. It was Mexican food catered by a restaurant, but they microwaved it on site. There weren’t enough outlets in the prep area, so they plugged the microwaves in throughout the room. Naturally, this overwhelmed the circuit. And tripped a breaker. No, someone had to find the breaker box to reset it.

Lisa P: Oh my gosh. This, oh my God. So my background is in catering and the second it was microwaved on scene, I was like, oh, this is gonna be bad. From like a, just from like, it’s gonna be gross kind of way, but also. The breaker box.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Because even that alone, like micro, we microwaving all the food. These like golf, I’m assuming

Lisa P: it’s like a golf club type thing.

Like they have kitchens, commercial kitchens. Usually I’m kind of think or usually skates will come and like see where they’re serving from ahead of time. So like that’s an interesting, or they would bring their own like. Affordable kitchen type deal. So

Christa Innis: yeah, that seems like another interesting thing with like logistics.

Like if you’re gonna get married at a place to not, for them to not tell you, like the people that like own the venue to be like, Hey, so we don’t actually have a kitchen, so you have to do, bring it hot

Lisa P: or I don’t know. Yeah, bring it hot, have some chaing dishes ready to go, like. Do they have like six microwaves, like through the reception area?

That’s what I’m picturing.

Christa Innis: We’re just gonna put on the head table for a minute. We gotta warm up. Yeah, just all of

Lisa P: these microwaves just showing up. I’m just like,

Christa Innis: yeah. Oh, this poor bride. Does it get worse? I know. Um, there’s a few more paragraphs, so I’m gonna get. Um, okay. Even after all the guests had arrived and had been just standing around talking for 30 minutes, there was still no sign of the bride groom or photographer.

There was no music, no announcements, and people were hungry. That’s one of my worst things at a wedding. I feel like food needs to be like on time. Priority. Sure.

Lisa P: Yeah. People are hungry. Can be drunk. So like feed them early. Yeah.

Christa Innis: You need to fill their bellies. Yeah. Like weddings where you’re waiting like an extra long time for food.

Like I feel like that you remember food, you remember things around food. At weddings, I. We, the wedding party and bride’s parents finally decide to let people go through the buffet. No one told us not to. About 70 minutes after we arrived and around 15 minutes after everyone, everyone had eaten the bride and groom finally show up.

So they’re all eating before the bride and groom come. ’cause no one knows where they are.

Lisa P: I get it. Sometimes you do like cocktail hour or you do like, but you gotta feed people or give ’em drinks or something. Long time.

Christa Innis: You have to think about it as like you’re hosting a party and so like your guests need to be taken care of.

Like yeah, you run away sometimes and do photos and stuff, but it sounds, yeah.

Lisa P: Photos after the ceremony are super standard, but like that’s usually when there’s like cocktail hour with some bites and some food.

Christa Innis: It sounds like there was no like wedding planner or coordinator or some, oh, no, there was no plan.

Get this in the. Oh my gosh. So at that point, the DJ announces them. The bride was livid, that people had eaten Without them, not much we could do. At that point, we had gotten them plates and had them sit down so the rest of the schedule could continue. During the cake cu cutting the groom ended up dripping chocolate down the front of the bride’s dress.

This poor, let’s just go to bed at this point. Done? Yep. Oh my God. Why are we having drip dripping chocolate? Like, we gotta think about these

Lisa P: things

Christa Innis: when we pick our desserts.

Lisa P: Dripping chocolate. I’m not sure I understand, unless it’s like a fondue thing, but,

Christa Innis: uh, yeah. Yeah. Maybe it’s like a. Was that chocolate fountain or something?

I don’t know. Oh gosh. The bridesmaids helped her to the bathroom to clean it up, and of course it just smeared. Luckily she was able to laugh this one off. Okay, that’s good. Good. Okay.

Lisa P: That’s

Christa Innis: a win. Yeah. The next day we saw the couple at brunch before they left for their honeymoon. The only thing the bride could say about the wedding was that she still couldn’t believe that we let people eat before they arrived.

She said it on repeat even after we explained the situation and we even had to remind her of the good parts. We actually stayed friends after that until I broke up with a boyfriend who I’m only, who I only dated for about 10 months, and she had only known for about five. He must have said something wild about me because she texted me saying she was worried about me.

I explained why I broke up with him. He was manipulative, verbally, abusive, narcissistic, and basically never heard from her again after that. Whoa. Interesting. Whoa. That’s a

Lisa P: interesting, uh, that was, that was a wild ending to like, this girl stuck it out for this wedding. Like that she was doing her best to make this day happen.

I know. And after all that, to just get a friend broken up with Yeah. What, I mean, the ex-boyfriend must have said something really heinous.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Lisa P: Like, I feel like you should corroborate that.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I would feel like. Like, if any of my friends, if their boyfriend or partner came to me and said something, I’d be like, yeah, I’m gonna trust my friend over you.

Yeah. I’m gonna

Lisa P: double check on that. I’m

Christa Innis: gonna, we’re

Lisa P: gonna have a

Christa Innis: talk. Yeah. Um, so she just ends with, last I saw she and her husband are still married with kids and seem happy, at least from what I can tell on Facebook. So, um,

They Thought They Could Plan a Wedding…

Lisa P: well, thank goodness they, you know, the, I feel like the, the older generation always says the worse the wedding, the better the marriage.

Or at least that’s, I think what they say like. To make people feel better about things like that. Yeah, yeah. Um, that honestly, I dunno if I, like, I feel like these things didn’t happen to this couple. I feel like this couple like thought they could plan a wedding and did and could not, like, could not plan a wedding and realized way too late.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I find because of the weddings I’ve been a part of, I find there’s a lot of times where people just. Nice as nicely as I can put it. They live in fairytale Land, so they like see a movie and they’re like, oh, that looks beautiful. But they don’t realize there’s all these people, people behind the scenes that make it possible.

So they have all these wishes or like desires for things to happen, and they think it’ll just happen on that day. They don’t realize like, okay, well if you want catering, then you need to have. Someone to set it up or you need a kitchen, or if you want your bridesmaids to wear these dresses, you need like an aisle for them to walk down or you need, you know, like they don’t think of all the things it takes.

Pay attention to detail, which

Lisa P: is why there are wedding planners.

Christa Innis: Yes.

Lisa P: Sometimes people can’t do that and you need someone to help you. And again, like we only had a day of wedding planners, so I did a lot of the planning myself, but I feel like I had. I had a lot of like friend vendors, so like that helped out.

But also just like, I don’t know, have you never thrown a party? Like there’s certain things, you know, alcohol, food, logistics, schedule like I do that when I throw my kids’ birthday party. You know what I mean? It’s the same skill. Yeah, you still gotta feed people, you’ve gotta make sure people can get there.

Um, probably wanna set up ahead of time. These are like pretty standard. Yeah. For hosting anything, not just a wedding. And a wedding is like 10 times more intense.

Christa Innis: Oh yeah. I know. My husband always laughs at me. ’cause like even for our daughter’s party, like birthday parties, which are like two, three hours max.

I like write out a whole timeline. I’m like, okay, food arrives at this time. People arrive at this time. Like I just, I have to visualize. Oh I’m, it’s funny, I’m like type A when it comes to like planning stuff like that, but like I see type A like mom videos and I’m like, I don’t think I’m a type A mom. I think I’m a type A like planner.

I don’t even know if that makes sense. But

Lisa P: I have some of that too. I feel like when it comes down to making sure things like kind of run smoothly, I can be very hands-on. I don’t make a timeline, so like I feel like that’s, that might be my next step over the top might be my next step. Um. Yeah, like I love hosting, I love cooking and like cooking very much is about timing and execution.

So like that sort of skill, like my biggest pet peeve is when I’m like finished cooking and I’ve timed everything and I’ve told people like when food’s gonna be ready? And then they’re like, absent mindedly, like mingling or something. I’m like, no, no, no. The food is hot and ready. Like right now.

Christa Innis: Yeah. This is the now time.

Right now. This is even time

Lisa P: we must sell now.

Christa Innis: Yeah, no, for sure. I feel like those definitely all those things, like I feel like when we said like, have you like hosted or whatever, I think there are a lot of like brides that this is their first time, like really like hosting something. You should not be

Lisa P: doing

Christa Innis: it on your own.

Like Yeah,

Lisa P: if it’s your never hosting anything, you’ve never done like a holiday party or you’ve never hosted your friend’s birthday party. Mm-hmm. Don’t try with the wedding, the wedding’s not the time to like take a stab.

Christa Innis: I know, I think that’s when it gets so stressful. I was the same with you where I, as you were, I had, I pretty much planned it, but like our event, our wedding venue had a day of coordinator and people don’t realize how helpful that is because that person’s gonna like do the behind the scenes, running around, making sure things are where they need to be.

And I’ve done that for a few weddings now and that I love doing it because I’m like. You tell me what to do. You tell me what needs to be done, I’ll make sure it’s done. Don’t get dirty. I will do that

Lisa P: if you want to. And like back to what we were saying before with, I wish I had been a guest at my wedding.

If I had also been like running around coordinating the, the staff and the vendors and the, the drop offs and the pickups, you’re not having any fun like that. You’re not having any good of a time at all because you’re so stressed about the comings and goings and there’s so much that goes into. Getting everybody where they need to be at the right time.

Right. Like and getting everything to execute.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Lisa P: I am like a huge proponent of, even if you don’t do a planner for like the whole wedding prep. The whole wedding planning, definitely a day of like, yeah. But maybe that you’re like engagement gift right? From your parents or your in-laws or something. A day of coordinator.

Christa Innis: Yeah, just someone to like ease a little bit of the stress because you don’t wanna just like randomly like. Task people with it that day. ’cause they’re not gonna be thinking about it. And it’s just, yeah, there’s random things that just pop up. For sure.

Lisa P: They really are.

Christa Innis: All right, well, that was a crazy story.

All right, I always like to end these. I know we’re running short on time, but I always like to end these with weekly confessions, so people send me confessions kinda related to event or weddings, um, on social media. So let’s see here. This first one says, um. I absolutely hate the girl that my sister-in-law loves.

It makes me hate seeing my sister-in-law, too. Oh,

Lisa P: well hopefully that doesn’t last long.

Christa Innis: I don’t know. Yeah, I That’s, that’s tough. ’cause you can only do something much when it’s, when it’s a, a sister-in-law. I’m guessing it’s like a, your. Partner’s sister? I would guess so. You probably can’t.

Lisa P: That’s what I assumed.

I assumed it was like your partner’s, sister’s girlfriend that we were going with. That’s okay.

Christa Innis: That’s what I would get.

Lisa P: Yeah. Yeah. And like you usually button your mouth until you have to not button your mouth on that one.

Christa Innis: Yeah, yeah. Wait till they say something to you and they ask for your opinion, or something happens and you can be like, well, here’s what I think.

Until then, you gotta let it work itself out. Otherwise you’ll be the villain. Oh, absolutely. Yep. Um, this says I had to uninvite half of my friends to make room for my mother-in-law’s tennis buddies. No. What? Whose wedding is it?

Lisa P: Oh my God. I call it they’re gonna stop talking to the mother-in-law like five years down the road.

Yeah. Like altogether. No way. That’s insane.

Christa Innis: That sounds like, and I’m obviously reading between the lines, but that sounds like a mother-in-law that was maybe paying for part of it or something, and she used that as a way to like control the wedding because mm-hmm. I, I see the make room like you had to, like who’s, who said

Lisa P: you had to.

Yeah, that’s definitely, that’s a manipulation like that. Mm. I don’t love that. I don’t either. I feel like is probably gonna go bye-bye for in a, a little while.

Christa Innis: Yeah. We need to, we need to say no. Set some boundaries with that mother-in-law. Um, okay. This last one says, I joked I wanted pockets on my wedding dress for getaway money.

Deep down, I think I knew it was true. Oh. The number of times people have confessed to me like, oh, I’ve had a, I had a feeling, um, before the wedding. I told my dad I didn’t wanna get married before the wedding, and I still did. I’ve gotten so many of those.

Lisa P: I had a

Christa Innis: friend do that to me. Really?

Lisa P: Yes. I knew before they got married that they did like they, that, that, that she did not really want to start all over is like how she kind of put it.

Mm-hmm. Um. I don’t know. I took that to my grave. We don’t really speak anymore, and that is not my business. And they’re still married, so sometimes

If You Have Doubts, Don’t Walk Down the Aisle

Christa Innis: it works out. Oh, see, I was gonna say the opposite, uh, opposite happened to me. I, and I’ve talked about this before, um, but I was in a wedding years ago and every wedding event there was some kind of thing, and it was with him, every kind of thing.

And she, and she like cried in the car after the bachelorette party. She cried in the car. Oh, yeah. After the rehearsal. All these different things. And I was just like. Hey, maybe we like, should we rethink this? Oh, I, we already paid the vendors. I’m like, yeah, but divorce is way more expensive.

Lisa P: Oh God no. Yeah, no.

If there’s like, if there’s a doubt in your mind on the person, I feel like I. You’ve gotta cut and run. Like you, you getting divorced is so much more traumatic. It’s so much more expensive. God forbid you like, have a bunch of kids. Um, no, no. If it’s not right and like, this is why, uh, so on my page I talk a lot about, and I’m very happily married, that like marriage should not be this like.

Default standard that people are trying to hit. Because you know when you get 12 years in a marriage and you’re, you know, most people my age got married somewhere around the same time I did. You see a lot of divorces by now. Okay. We’re starting to have that first round of divorce A is coming through and it’s like, God, what a wait.

Not a lot of waste because like a lot of them have children and that’s like the wonderful thing that came out of it. But you know, you don’t have to get married like. You could end up really miserable like in so many ways. And that’s like, you know, it’s just not something that, if you can, if you can in any way, imagine your life without that person, not without a spouse, but without that specific person.

Don’t do it. Right, a hundred percent. Especially if you’re a woman.

Christa Innis: Oh yeah, totally. And I always have this too, like I’ve been with my husband, I think we’re going on 11 years this year. But we’ve been married three. And so like for us it was like, I totally agree with you what you just said about like, you don’t have to get married, you don’t have to follow a certain timeline.

So many people were constantly like, when are you getting married? When are you getting married? And I was like, we, like, we do things on our own timeline and I just feel like. So many people have this, like their own expectations on everyone else, and especially as women, I feel like we have the expectations of like, okay, I need to do this, then I need to get married.

I need to have a baby. And you feel like you have to follow this timeline.

Lisa P: Yeah. And it feels like a rushed timeline at the, at the moment. Like, and I feel pre to that too. I was like, oh, I wanna have two kids, um, by 30 and like I did, but. You know, now looking back at it, I’m like, you idiot. Like you should have just been like, find the right person and then figure it out.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I know. I remember like, I would like if it were just like my hu like then boyfriend, but husband and I, I just like doing our own thing. Like, we’d be like totally fine and then like someone would like bring up like, oh, are you guys gonna get married? And I would be like, do I wait? Are we doing something wrong?

And like, it almost puts us like, not like guilt, but this feeling of you of like. Wait, are we doing something wrong? Is our relationship, because we’re just dating right now, is that like wrong? And you start getting this like, no, because half

Lisa P: of the men in divorces anyway, so like, you know what I mean? Yeah.

Marriage isn’t the great indicator of like lifelong companionship anymore. Mm-hmm. Um, well, and like

Christa Innis: too our, like our parents’ generation, I feel like they were so committed to like marriage that like they stayed. Are unhappily married for so long without actually like admitting like, I actually hate this.

Oh, they wrong

Lisa P: gold stars for it too. They’re like, we’ve been married 35 years. I hate Jeff, but he lives in the other bedroom, so, you know, but we’ve been married this long. And I’m like, but why? What kind of award are you winning here? Like, I know some people have the whole like, divorce is a sin thing, but like you’re already in hell.

So. Yeah. Yeah. I don’t see the point in that like a relationship should only be there to enhance your already like wonderful life. And if it doesn’t do that, then it’s not worth it. And like kind of feel the same way about kids too. I feel like the relationships that I see with people who don’t have kids by choice, obviously there’s like.

People who have extenuating circumstances where they can’t have children, but people who choose not to have kids, I feel like they have this like gift of time to like really find their perfect partner.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Lisa P: Uh, and they usually choose better.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Like.

Lisa P: They get to choose somebody that they truly just genuinely wanna spend all their time with, as opposed to people who do, who do the musical chairs type of marriage, where they’re like, well, it’s been three years since college.

Like, I guess you’re the guy.

Christa Innis: Yes.

Lisa P: Yeah. Yeah. I guess you’re the person I’m with right now. So musical chairs, let’s do it. Like, let’s get married. Timelines are ticking, like I feel like it kind of saddles us down. Um, oh yeah. In a.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah, that’s definitely another thing with, as women we’re like told that the biological clock is ticking, you need to have kids hurry up.

My husband and I since like one year, one of dating, when are you guys gonna have kids? And I was like, I’m not even thinking about kids. Or what are you talking about? And, and I like, and I like look back and I’m like, if I had kids when we had started dating, I was like, I would’ve been a completely different.

Ma Um, I would’ve been in completely different like financial point in my life and I just feel like we need to like, and not saying that’s right or wrong, I’m just saying everyone’s timeline is different. ’cause I know people had kids at in their early twenties and they are thriving and they were meant to be moms at that point.

But I just feel like it’s so important to like listen to your own timeline. ’cause I have friends now that are like,

Lisa P: this new generation is doing a lot better than like we were as millennials. Yeah. I feel like the younger girls are like, really? Coming to the table with the head on the shoulders a little bit more without like the fairytale movie, prince Princess aspect that, that we were kind of sold.

Christa Innis: Yes. I love that. Yeah. I’ve noticed like the shift in the movies, especially with my daughter being she’s two and I feel like. The movies have shifted. Obviously there’s still the fairytale, but I’m like, let’s watch Moana because she’s like brave and she, you know, or Meredith, she doesn’t need a man. You know, I try to like show her some different things because of course we still love the classics, but it’s good to kind of open the horizons up a little bit.

Lisa P: Yeah, definitely. I mean, my daughter is, I mean, she still like, very much knows she wants to get married and have kids like I knew from a young age. So I don’t like balk at that. Like I, you know, some people just like really have that desire. Um, but she still is like, well maybe I’ll be president and a dance teacher.

And I’m like, you go, you do both. I love that. Yes, you do both.

Christa Innis: Stop you, girl. I love that. Yeah. Yes. Well, thank you so much for coming on. This was such a good discussion and I feel like it was good to kind of like just kind of talk about like, obviously the pressures on women and Bridezillas and there’s just a lot of cool things we talked about, so thank you for coming.

Yeah, I loved it.

Lisa P: This is such a fun topic. I’m sure you get so entertained hearing all these stories, so that was so fun.

Christa Innis: Yeah, they always, they never cease to, uh, surprise or amaze me. It’s, it’s always something new. I bet. Yeah. Well, for anyone listening, um, where can everyone follow you, find more of your content and anything exciting that you wanna share?

Lisa P: Yeah. Um, you can find me on mostly TikTok and Instagram. My handle is, it’s me, Lisa PI like to say I talk about hard topics in cute outfits. Um, and that covers relationships and marriage and parenting and boundaries and setting boundaries once you have kids, which I feel like once you get past the bride phase, that’s coming next.

Mm-hmm. Um, and you can find me there. Um, and. I would like to say I have something big in the works coming, but I don’t because I homeschool my kids and this is what we’re doing. And that’s big in. That is big in

Christa Innis: in itself like mom and is a full-time job.

Lisa P: Yeah. I wear a lot of hats, that’s for sure.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh.

Awesome. Well, thank you so much. Thank you

Lisa P: very much. Have a good one.

by Christa Innis

Blog Transcript:

The Reality TV Chaos Behind the Scenes

Sisterly Showdown at the Bouquet Toss: Wedding Drama You Won’t Believe!

From TikTok Stunts to Bridal Party Boundaries: Wedding Drama Gets Real

Wedding Drama Rapid Fire: From Jealous Bridesmaids to Reality TV Proposals!

A Tale of Jealousy, Selfishness, and Boundaries!

Blog Transcript:

Teacher Turned Advocate

Teacher Balancing Truth & Boundaries

A Diagnosis That Changed Everything

Weddings Would-You-Rather

Bridesmaid Dress Drama

Wedding Party Love Story

The Great Wedding Dinner Debate

First Dance or Skip It?

No Ring, No Bring and the Reality of Guest Lists

Bridesmaid Meets Her Groom’s Family

Maid of Honor Regrets & MIL Drama

Blog Transcript:

Mother of the Groom Chaos

Hijacked Wedding Family of the Groom’s Control

A Wedding Day Gone Off the Rails

The Thanksgiving Reveal That Changed Everything

Blog Transcript:

Parents Became Best Friends… Until the Wedding Planning Began

They Were Supposed to Be Co-Grandparents

Mood Boards, Dress Codes & Wedding Boundaries

Melted Makeup, Broken Microwaves & Bridezilla Chaos

They Thought They Could Plan a Wedding…

If You Have Doubts, Don’t Walk Down the Aisle

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