bridal party conflicts

Wedding Feuds, Toxic Family Drama, and The Invisible String with Sarah Wizeman

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

Ever wondered what happens when your wedding is full of chaos and family feuds?

This week on Here Comes The Drama, the wedding chaos reaches next-level insanity! Christa dives into a jaw-dropping story about no-kids wedding rules, a sister’s outrageous demands, and family drama that almost derailed the big day. Then, Christa and Sarah Wizeman break down the wildest wedding confessions from listeners, from toxic in-laws to surprise pregnancy announcements to overzealous sister-in-laws calling off weddings!

Plus, Sarah shares her incredible journey as an author, her book The Invisible String, and her plans for monthly romance and bridal story releases—complete with skits on TikTok and YouTube. This episode is packed with drama, laughs, and insider wedding chaos you won’t want to miss.

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Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

Sister Drama & Guest List Battles – A no-kids rule sparks chaos when a bride’s sister insists her boyfriend’s daughter be included, leading to ultimatums, family arguments, and threats to skip the wedding entirely.
Family Feuds & Step-Family Tension – Mom favoritism and step-family dynamics collide, creating heated conflicts over invitations and long-lasting emotional fallout.
Long-Term Grudges & Wedding Fallout – Even small wedding decisions ripple for years—the bride and her sister barely speak, showing how family drama can outlast the celebration.
Family Drama & Healing – Sarah opens up about her own wedding, her dad’s no-contact stance, and finding peace with supportive loved ones.
The Invisible String Books – Discussion of Sarah’s two books, detailing connections, romance, and how her wedding experiences inspired storytelling.
Skits That Educate – How Sarah turns real-life wedding chaos into relatable skits that teach communication and reflection.
Wedding Proposal & Pregnancy Drama – Evaluating awkward and potentially disruptive moments at weddings, and how to handle them with grace.
Vendor Chaos Stories – Tales of photographers and other vendors nearly derailing weddings, and how couples navigated it.
Upcoming Projects & Skits – Sarah teases her monthly book releases, including a Hallmark-style Christmas tree farm story.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“People show their true colors in weddings—and it’s wild what comes out when the pressure’s on.” –Christa Innis
“Sometimes the drama reveals who really has your back—and who doesn’t.” –Christa Innis
“Watching chaos unfold in real life makes you rethink your own behavior too.” – Christa Innis
“I never knew mothers-in-law could try to cancel weddings… until I heard it firsthand.” – Christa Innis
“The right skit can turn drama into a lesson everyone remembers.” – Christa Innis
“By sharing my story, I realized I’m not alone—and neither is anyone else going through it.” – Sarah Wizeman
“Wedding drama forced me to be grateful for the people who really showed up for me.” – Sarah Wizeman
“Turning these moments into skits helps others reflect and even heal their own relationships.” – Sarah Wizeman
“Communication is always the best. I tried reaching out, even when it didn’t work, because it’s worth it.” – Sarah Wizeman
“Even without the perfect wedding, I found the perfect people around me who mattered most.” – Sarah Wizeman

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

About Sarah

Sarah Wizeman is the queen of TikTok wedding stories, from unhinged skits to “did-that-really-happen?” confessionals — and she is truly one of the most personable humans on the internet. She’s also an author (yes, a full-on romantic comedy writer!), and I’ve linked her books below because you’re absolutely going to want more of her after this episode. We had an absolute blast chatting, and she even shared her own jaw-dropping wedding drama that left me stunned — plus we dove into some wild listener submissions that took the chaos to a whole new level.

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Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis, and this is gonna be a short introduction because I’m starting to lose my voice. Um, it was a little raspy in the beginning, but I had so much fun talking with my guest today. Sarah Wizeman, she’s all of TikTok sharing different wedding stories, skits, and I just love chatting with her.

She’s so personable and she’s actually an author as well. She wrote a romantic comedy too, in fact. Um, so I have the links to those below, but we just had so much fun chatting and she shares her own wedding drama story that will have you completely shocked, um, in addition to our other wedding story submissions that we read.

So without further ado, please enjoy this very special episode with Sarah Wizeman.

Hi, Sarah.

Sarah Wizeman: Hi Christa.

Christa Innis: Thank you so much for coming on. I know we’ve been like chatting before recording, but I’m just so excited to finally meet you. I think I was telling you, so many people had tagged you in my comment saying, ‘you need to have Sarah Wizeman on the show. I love her stories.’ And so I thought, what better way to connect and have you on?

Sarah Wizeman: Oh my goodness. How exciting. I know I love you and your skits. Oh my gosh. And we are like, so f familiar or similar, with the wedding stuff, so I’m so honored to be on your podcast, so thank you for having me.

Christa Innis: Of course. No, I, love like watching skits and like, obviously like that’s how I kind of got into it too.

We were just talking about how we love telling stories and. Even before like making skits, like if I was telling someone a story, I was like such a detail person. Or maybe the details didn’t matter, but I’d be like, the sky was blue and that girl was wearing a pink shirt. And then like people would be like, okay, get to the point.

But like, it’s just part of storytelling. I feel like that’s how you are too.

Sarah Wizeman: Yep, exactly. I’m like every, and then there’s this detail, oh wait, I have to back up. And there’s more details that I forgot about. So let me do that real quick.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. So how did you start doing this like skit kind of content?

Like how did you start getting into it? What was your first skit, all that good stuff?

Sarah Wizeman: Well, I started off in TikTok, you know, with the TikTok dances and just having fun with that. I was trying to like, leave my job to be like, become a content creator and an author, ’cause I really loved to write and I’ve always loved to write.

And so, February, 2024, I published my first book, the Invisible Spring. and I was trying really hard to promote it and get it out there. It’s about like how my husband and I have always like, been intertwined with each other. So I was like, let’s try to get it out there.

I didn’t do schizo at first. At first, I was just kind of like reading passages from it and doing little bits here and there. And then I started to do a little bit of, Skits, quote unquote, like where I would just kind of like talk back and forth, not really get full on into the acting. And then one day I got kind of overwhelmed with everything and I was also planning my wedding

I decided, to have a child-free wedding. And, we had someone, like talk to us about how they went to a child-free wedding and they said that they had a wonderful time, but she said that, the bride at that wedding was getting a lot of complaints, from people because they were like, I wanna bring my children.

And so I was like. It would be really fun to just like, let loose and do a skit about this. So I did a skit about a child free wedding, and then it like just took off like the drama of it. Like one lady’s like, ‘I’m gonna bring my children anyway.’ Like I threw that in there and then that one just took off and I’m like, okay.

And then I started to do ones with like bridesmaids and like a couple going on their honeymoon and just like big plot twists, like where it was just like, what just happened? And then it just took off from there. And I’ve been doing skits ever since.

Christa Innis: I love that. Yeah. I feel like it’s like the skit content is so interesting because like it allows people to like see it from an outside perspective.

And at first I was like, when I did it, I was like, am I creating like more I dunno, anger or whatever. But then like, I’ve gotten so many messages from people being like, no, you’ve helped me like address the situation or you’ve helped me learn how to talk to my mother-in-law. And I’m like, oh, okay.

I’m glad it’s doing something. But it’s interesting that you say that your first one was about a child free wedding. ’cause I think mine was too, it’s such a controversial topic.

Sarah Wizeman: Yes.

Christa Innis: And I’ve never like understood why people get so up in arms about it, even as a mom of a toddler Now, if my husband and I were get, were to get an invite, I would not be offended.

And if they were like child free, I’d be like, I girl, I get it. It’s fine. I know you don’t want my toddler running around grabbing everything. Things are breakable. I understand. Yes. So I don’t get where people get offended by it.

Sarah Wizeman: I agree. It was more for, like, for me, the reason why I chose a child free wedding was just like the safety of it.

Like we were an outside wedding. There was gonna be like an open bar there too. And I didn’t want like the kids to, get into any trouble per se, I guess. Mm-hmm. and I also wanted, like, my friends always kept saying like, I just need a night off. I just like, would love to just drop my kids off at grandma’s and just go party with you.

And then I was like, is if that’s really what you want.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: I’m that’s exactly what I’ll do.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I feel like that’s the thing too. It’s like knowing your friends and family, like who you’re inviting. Because that was the same for me. Like, I was one of the last ones to have kids out of my friend group.

They all had kids and they I knew they were the kinds that were like, no, we’re getting a babysitter, we’re gonna have grandma and grandpa watch them or whatever that was. that’s how like all of our friends and family did weddings. Like Yeah. We had like immediate. Like nieces and nephews at the wedding or you had like immediate cousins kids at the wedding.

But most weddings I’d been to, it wasn’t just a free for all, like huge families. And that’s, I dunno, here and there maybe, but like for the most part I didn’t see that. So I just was like, for us, we did like nieces and nephews only and so we have seven at the time. I’m trying to think. Yeah, seven nieces and nephews.

And so I invited all of them ‘ cause they were like a part of the wedding and then I left it up to the parents. Like my sister didn’t bring her twins ’cause she was like, it’s just they won’t have fun. They’ll be fine out. But I left it up to, the parents. But other than that I was like, yeah, we’re gonna do 21 and older.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. I think that is like becoming more of a trend lately to do it that way. And also I’ve seen where like the kids are there for the ceremony and then they go home or they, the couple like, has like a babysitter watch them during the reception part of it too. So I see, I see that happening more frequently as well.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I love that idea. I’ve been hearing that more and more about like, venues that have like another room where you can get like a babysitter and put like toys and stuff. Mm-hmm. I think if I knew, um, like, like friends of mine or something, were having a hard time with a babysitter, I think I would, I’ve tried something like that, or if my venue could have done that.

Mm-hmm. But again, it was like, I feel like it’s also like how you, I don’t know how you handled the situation too, because I think a lot of it, and I’m, I’m sure like the skit you did too, it’s like the entitlement of like, well I’m gonna bring my kids anyway ’cause it’s wild. I personally didn’t have to deal with that, but those stories happen all the time where people are like, I don’t care if it says no kids.

This is my child. I’m bringing them. And like, I’d be mortified to bring my child where she doesn’t belong necessarily. Right?

Sarah Wizeman: You are absolutely right. It’s not, it’s not the actual like, no kids’ rule. It’s the entitlement. It’s like these people that think that they can just do whatever they want and not,

Christa Innis: oh, I think I’m losing you.

Sarah Wizeman: You can bring your child if it’s, if it’s, if it’s really that

Christa Innis: important to you. I think I lost you for a second. Oh, I don’t know if it’s my internet. Let me check. It says my Internet’s unstable. I don’t know. Okay. Oh, it seems okay now. It again. I can switch like my hotspot or something. Okay. It’s like written weird, but anyway.

Um, okay, so we were talking about, um, yeah, it’s more of the entitlement, right?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. So it’s more of the entitlement. Like if you were to message me and say like, Hey, I really need to bring my infant, like, or I really need to bring my child, um, or else I won’t be able to come, I would probably be that person to be like, okay, like I understand like you have these needs, but like people who just are like.

I’m just gonna show up with my child because I don’t care. I’m gonna do what I want. That’s like, that’s off. I, uh, that bugs me. That grinds my gears.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And I feel like it goes both ways too because, um, I’ve heard of also stories where like, let’s say the bride and groom says child free wedding, and then someone in the wedding or a guest says, well, I can’t make it then, but best wishes.

Like, they’re so respectful about it. And then the bride and groom get mad and I’m like, you can’t get mad if someone can’t still get a babysitter. So that’s also the entitlement of the bride and groom feeling like the world should just, should stop for their wedding day. And it’s like if you can’t get a babysitter and they politely decline, still send a gift or you know, whatever, you need to accept that and that’s gonna be okay.

Sarah Wizeman: Yes, a hundred percent. Like you said, I see it on both sides and the bride and groom have to realize that everybody else has lies. Their wedding isn’t like the center of everyone’s attention,

Christa Innis: so. Yeah, I know. Um, so what do you think like. So you said that kind of blew up that first skit? Yes. So then do you get people sending you in stories or do you kind of just think of things you’ve seen or what kind of has mostly inspired the stories you do?

Sarah Wizeman: Um, so I do get people who do try to message me stories. Um, I’ve done a couple of those, but I don’t do them often. Um, just because, um, just because like I feel like I would really have to like hop on a phone call with them sometimes and like really get like the actual details. ’cause I’m like, I did that one, I did the first one that was sent in to me.

And I’m like, but she didn’t tell me exactly how this happened. How do I interpret this? I hope I don’t interpret it wrong kind of thing.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: Um, so I, so I’ve done that a couple times, but mostly it’s just me, like having inspiration from like, what people have said to me. Um, sometimes I go on Reddit and get ideas from Reddit.

Like I, I’ll take like a Reddit thread. And, um, they’ll, they’ll say like, what happened? And then I’m like, wow, that’s crazy. But like, what could make this even more crazier? Like, what could be even a bigger plot twist than that? So I’ll take like, inspiration from those types of things.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I love that. It’s funny you say that about like, when people send you in stories. I, there was a wild story one time, I’m trying to think which one it was. I think it was the one where either it was like a surprise wedding for the bride, like the groom and the bride’s mom planned the wedding. Yeah. And she was like, it was like scary, like, honestly, like how weird it went. But all these people are commenting like, there’s no way this happened.

This couldn’t have happened. And someone literally commented like, do you fact check this? And I’m like, what do you want me, how do you want me to fact check? Do you want me to call all their family members? And I was like, I was like, you can take everything I feel like on the internet with a grain of assault.

Right? So like, I get a, I get a story sent to me and I always say. Like, either I come up with it myself or it’s inspired by a story. Mm-hmm. And I’m like, I’ll just take parts of it and I mix it all up. You know, I put it in a B blender and I mix it. ’cause I’m like, I only get part of the story. And even if I get a really detailed story, I’m only getting it for one perspective.

Um, yes. As I don’t agree with the person that send it to me either, which is really awkward.

Sarah Wizeman: That that’s, that’s very awkward.

Christa Innis: I know what you mean though, because I’m like, yeah, because a, a couple of podcast episodes actually, um, we’ll see when we get to ours, but I’ve read the story with the person and we’re both like, oh no, this, this person’s like in the wrong.

Sarah Wizeman: Oh no. Yeah.

Christa Innis: And then you have to kind of figure out how to like, twist it and show like both sides and Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, no, I, yep. That’s kind of also one of the reasons why I don’t do a lot of people who send me stories, um, is because like if I do end up changing it and like it offends them because I don’t agree with it, then I don’t even wanna get into like that or like, you know, like offending them in any way I guess.

So yeah, I was just.

Christa Innis: This is unbiased. I’m just taking what I can see. Yes, exactly. Like around like if a bride sent it to me, I might make it from the groom’s perspective and mix. Oh yeah.

Stepmother Sabotage, Wedding Day Chaos, and Family Loyalty

Um, okay. Do you have any wild stories of your own? Like either something you’ve seen or heard or something that maybe you’ve made into a skit? I don’t know, but yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: Um, yes, I have my own story that is based on my own wedding. Um. And it’s a little bit of a long one, but basically, um, what happened was my dad didn’t show up to my wedding. Okay. Yeah. So, um, we’ll go back to when I got engaged. Um, so, um, I got engaged in August of 2023, and then right after that my father announced to us that he, um, uh, was diagnosed with cancer.

Christa Innis: Okay.

Sarah Wizeman: And, um, at that point, uh, he announced that in October, I’m, I think it was so August? Yeah, it was a co it was like a month after month and a half after. So in October he announced by this time, um, I had been with my fiance for a long period of time before that, so we kind of already had like what we wanted to do with a wedding.

So our plan was to go on a destination wedding, like a cruise wedding to Bermuda. Like, we had our heart set on it. All of our friends were on board. Um, and so we sent out the invitations. He got diagnosed. Um, he was, he was still excited about it. Um, he was a little nervous ’cause he doesn’t like to travel very much, but he was still excited.

Uh, one day I get to the, um, to their house and, um, we previously had a cruise plan, but we had to cancel it because my dad’s job and, um, my stepmom, uh, we’ll call her El, um, she commented to me, she’s like, oh, you’re going to Bermuda for your wedding. I really wish we could go back to Alaska. Um, like the other cruise was planned for. And I was like, oh, um, yeah, but this is what, uh, Bernard, uh, my fiance, well now my husband and I really want. And, um, and then that was just, I like, kept that in my mind. I’m like, oh, that’s weird.

A couple months go by. We needed to finalize the bookings for the cruise. And all of a sudden my dad calls me up and says that he’s not going to be able to make it to the wedding.

And I’m like, I need my dad there for my wedding. I need my father to walk me down the aisle. Yeah. And um, so my husband or my fiance at the time, husband now, I’ll just call him my husband from now on out. Yeah. But, um, he and I decided we were gonna cancel the cruise and we were gonna do an at-home wedding and we were gonna use the cruise as like our, um, honeymoon.

Christa Innis: Yeah. So when your dad first said, I’m not gonna the wedding, what was his reasoning? Was it ’cause of the cancer? Was this like he just didn’t wanna trouble or what?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, at first he said like, you know, um, I, this cancer is taking a lot outta me. I don’t know what’s gonna happen, but I can’t travel ’cause of my immune system. That’s why I was like, we need to cancel it. It’s not my dad’s fault that he can’t make it. You know, I, I want my dad there. Mm-hmm. And so, um, we canceled it and we began planning, um, back home.

Uh, fast forward to like, a couple months before my wedding, so this was May of 2024. And my stepmom, my dad and I and my sister were out for ice cream to celebrate my birthday. And she, my stepmother stands up and is like, I have an announcement to make, or we have an announcement to make and we’re like, oh, what’s going on? We’re going on a cruise.

Christa Innis: Stop it.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. I’m my sister. Immediately, sna like, breaks her neck, looks at me and is like. What, like, like looking at me to make sure I’m okay.

I held my composure and I just like nodded and I was like, oh, hmm. And like they explained what the cruise was about. My dad was like looking down the entire time like he knew not even like, wanting to talk. Yeah.

Christa Innis: He knew she must stop.

Sarah Wizeman: So I just like that really hurt. I let it go.

Christa Innis: Other things started. Sorry to cut in, do you?

No, that’s okay. Think, um, when she made that like kind of snide comment about I wish we were gonna Alaska, they went home that night and she’s like, I can’t believe they’re going on a cruise. We need to go on our cruise first. Or like, made some kind of comment.

Sarah Wizeman: Um, she probably could have, I’m not gonna say like, I definitely think she did that or what, but she is the type of person, she’s the type of person to do that, unfortunately. Which it’s really sad, but Yes. Went along. So, yeah, my dad does not have a backbone around her at all. Like, oh, and when he and her got married, uh, there was some issues way back then. There was some issues with us too. We like, kind of fell, fell, fell back, um, because he married her so fast, like within two months of knowing each other.

Oh, wow.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. That’s a whole another story.

Oh, girl. Wow.

Sarah Wizeman: Okay. Yeah. So, um, there were some issues with that. And so, um, like during that time, I was young at that time I was in my early twenties. Maybe I was even 19 at the time, but I was like, I’m not gonna deal with this. And I moved out and, um. Over the years, we got our relationship back and going again.

And, um, I started to have more of a better relationship with Elle, my stepmom and feeling that, um, and then it came to my wedding and then this stuff started happening. And so yes, it does make me question whether or not she would, she would do something like that. She is very capable of doing that.

Christa Innis: And when was their crew supposed to be scheduled?

Sarah Wizeman: like, yeah, like later. Like around the same time or like a little bit later than our maybe. Oh, ours was in, uh, like late September, early October. I wanna say it was like around then or like November. Okay. So it was around the same time.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Did you take everything in you in that moment to not say something?

Sarah Wizeman: Oh yeah. And I’m like. I like, couldn’t process it at that time. Like when she told me. ’cause I’m like thinking like, what’s the next, like what’s the, um, like what’s the big announcement? Because she just before that said that she had like a little announcement and she said that she got a new job when we were at the ice cream place.

And then, um, it was actually, um, at that time where my sister said something like, oh, hey Sarah, just, um, like her skits are doing really great on TikTok. She has like 50,000 followers. And like my dad was like, what? Like, that’s crazy. And then that’s when she was like, I have an announcement to make. And she like, cut in.

And so

Christa Innis: You have your moment?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Like she’s the type of person that just needs like the attention on her all the time. It’s, it’s very frustrating. Um, like to skip forward a little bit. Like other things started happening after that. Like my dad was retiring from his job. They hosted like a surprise retirement party.

He got wind that I was gonna be there, and that caused a huge, a huge argument because he’s like, L wasn’t invited and you are, do you know how that would make it look? I’m like, dad, I’m your biological daughter. And like, I’m like, and it was a retirement party. He and uninvited me from his retirement party. Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: So is he hosting it or is it his work hosting it?

Sarah Wizeman: It’s at his work. So he was like, um, he like worked for, um, like a big highway department. Um, like, you know, they paved roads and stuff and so they always like threw retirement parties there and they invited the family. And, um, we found out later what actually happened.

We found out that, um, Elle was invited, but she didn’t wanna go because she had, um, my, with my dad’s secretary, um, she worked with her previously and, um, they did not get along, so, oh, I wonder why.

Christa Innis: Yeah,

Sarah Wizeman: So she didn’t wanna go.She was mad.

Christa Innis: So she didn’t want to go. She wasn’t invited, didn’t want to go.

And because of that, they didn’t want you guys going either.

Sarah Wizeman: Right. My dad was like, I can’t let you go because it’ll look bad. And I’m like, how is it gonna look bad? I’m not like another woman. I’m your daughter. Like, you know, like, I’m not the other woman or something like that. I’m your daughter. So, yeah, so, so this all happened, so that happened a month, uh, almost two months before my wedding.

And so I. I’m like, you know, like I always usually let things side, but that really hurt. So me and him had a talk. I called him up two days after that happened and I was like, now that you’ve had time to process everything, like what you did was wrong, that was wrong. I told him like how I felt and then that’s when I brought up like wedding stuff.

Like she’s acting this way, dad, is she not gonna let you take pictures with me? Because she’s not in them like, what’s gonna happen at the wedding? I started to bring that up and he’s like, it should be fine, and all this other stuff. I’m like, it should be fine. No, it’s going to be fine, because nothing is maliciously like happening here.

I don’t have malicious intent. I’m not trying to cut her out. Meanwhile, I invited all of her friends to come to the wedding because she is so like, jealous of my mom. And by the way, my mom is, um, has dementia and doesn’t even like know what day it is. Like, so she’s, she, her personality is there, but like she doesn’t have the mental capacity to understand like really like what is going on.

So she would never try to make anybody feel uncomfortable. Yeah. She just like cracks jokes and stuff ’cause you know, of the dementia. So, but my, but my stepmom still has, um, a lot of like, jealousy towards, um, towards my mother and other people.

Christa Innis: Wow.

Sarah Wizeman: So like, that’s why I got into it with him. ’cause I was like, if this is gonna happen at my wedding, like we need to like nip this in the bud right away.

Yeah. So, he, so we, we were good. Like my, my rest of my family, his own brothers were like, I can’t believe he uninvited you. Like, this is crazy. Um, so fast forward to the rehearsal dinner. Um, I hadn’t really heard much from Elle or my dad, um, before then. I did text Elle like a couple weeks before the wedding asking her what song she wanted to like walk out to.

And um, she like, you’re gonna never walk down in part of the ceremony or like, um, like, um, in the reception when they’re like, and the father of the bride and the stepmother, like, I asked, I wanted to include her. I wanted her to like, um, pick the song and like, I wanted her to be included in that process.

So, um, she picked her song and then fast forward to the rehearsal, um, I’m setting up. Everything’s, everything’s like chaotic. My dad and El get there. I asked him to bring the generator like a couple days before and, um, I, I forgot this part, but on the phone when I asked him that, he like, forgot that my wedding was that weekend.

Christa Innis: Yeah, like for what?

Sarah Wizeman: Uh, like I was like, can I borrow the generator? Um, because I need it to power. Um, I think it was like the DJ booth or something. And, uh, he was like, oh yeah, I’m not, I’m not busy this weekend. I can get it over to you. And I’m like, of course you’re not busy this weekend. It’s my wedding.

He’s like, oh, oh yeah. And I’m like, okay. That was weird. Um, so that happened. Then the rehearsal, he comes in with the generator with Elle. I’m like, hi dad. Hi Elle. They like, are stone cold, like don’t even move a muscle in their face. And they’re just like this the whole time.

Christa Innis: Okay.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Like just mad, just like something, I don’t know.

At that point I didn’t know. And so I’m like, oh, thank you for bringing the generator. Um, can you put it over there? And then they walked away and then like people could tell that what happened. And so they came up to me and they’re like, are you okay? Like, what just happened there? And I’m like, I don’t know.

I don’t have time to deal with that right now. I have so many things to set up. So, um, I, I set up stuff. Um, things are, um, like we eat and then we decide to do the actual rehearsal. ’cause we, we rented like a property from our friends, like overlooking a lake. So like, we just had our own timeline. So we just like set up a tent.

We had like dinner and then we did like whatever the rehearsal. So we’re getting ready to go, like walk down the aisle and practice all of that. And, um, I’m like ready to start walking down the aisle and then all of a sudden I’m like looking and my dad’s like nowhere to be found. And then I like turn and look and he’s way back there, like across like the tent. He’s just sitting with Elle by themselves. And I’m like, are you gonna walk me down the aisle? And he like, was like, yeah, yeah. And he like runs up, walks me down the aisle and then we practice it again. Um, he’s like very hesitant to come stand next to me. And when I asked him to stand like near like the rest of the bridal party, my mom was there as well.

He like said no and like ran back down the other end of the aisle to stand next to Elle.

Christa Innis: So like he’s scared of being like within six inches of your mom?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. Right. So, um, so it sounds like him and Ella been married for a while or together for a while now at this point. Yeah. So it’s not like, it’s like some new like fling and your mom and him, like just, you know, like, why can’t you just be like adults?

Sarah Wizeman: Right. Exactly. Right. Yeah. No, they were married for, at this point, 12 years. So they had, yeah, plenty of, I don’t know, plenty of time together. Yeah. I’m just, yeah, it just, every time I, like, every time I tell this story, I’m just like, yeah, I know. I’m like, yeah, I know. It’s cool. Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. Um, but um, so that happens.

I finally like, um, we wrap it up. And, um, I’m just like overwhelmed by like, what’s going on? I’m like, I don’t feel good about this. Like, I don’t feel good. My dad, like the photographer was there ’cause she wanted to practice and she came up to me and she’s like, just to let you know, you like, you need to work on your smile, like to walk down the aisle.

’cause look at these photos, you look miserable. And my dad’s in the photo and he’s like, like, so like not enjoying his time. And I’m like, oh my gosh, you’re so right. Um, so I start packing things up, um, l and my dad LB lines it to the car. My dad comes up to me and he’s like, ‘when is l supposed to be walking down the aisle?’

And I’m like, uh, she’s not dad. We just practiced it. If she was walking down the aisle, we would’ve practiced her walking down the aisle.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: And he’s like. Oh, well, um, I thought she would be walking down the aisle or something to that effect. And before I could answer, my uncle, his own brother came up and my dad turned and saw him, and then he was like, well, anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow.

And then he like, oh, before I did that, I gave him a gift. Like I was like, this is for Elle and this is for you. I just got like a little plaque for her that said thank you for being my stepmom. And for him I like had like a little t-shirt made that said Father of the bride, and I gave them, or I gave him the gift to give to her in the car.

And then my uncle comes up and then he walks away. And then…

Christa Innis: Say the same thing in front of his brother?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Weird.

Sarah Wizeman: And my uncle, whose name’s Matt, he came up to me and he’s like. Did I hear that correctly? And I was like, what? That L’s supposed to be walking down the aisle? And he’s like, yeah. And I was like, yep, you sure did.

And he’s like, that’s a bit ridiculous. And I’m like, I know. And then, um, and he’s like, you gave her a gift and she didn’t even come up to you and accept it herself? And I was like, yeah, I guess you’re right about that. Like, you know, I’m like, I’m, I’m like my mind’s a million times right now. Like everything I have to still do for the wedding, this happening.

Like all of like, what’s like going off, so.

Christa Innis: Okay. So, yeah. So what wedding do you go to where the stepmom, let alone, even like, the moms don’t typically walk down the aisle, so why get so up in arms, like offended by that?

Sarah Wizeman: That’s Yeah, I know. It’s, it, it was mind blowing to me. Like, I’m like, what? So, um, so yeah, so fast forward to that night.

We get back, we stayed at a, like a lake house to get ready. Um, so we spent the night there. Me and my bridesmaids, my bridesmaids all had like an intervention with me that night. They like, were like, Sarah, you need to stand up for yourself. Like, you need to stop just like letting things go. Tomorrow is your wedding day.

Do you wanna be miserable walking down the aisle? And I was like, no. And he’s, and they were all like, it’s so unacceptable the way your dad and Al treated you tonight. Like, um, like, it’s not you. It’s them. Like, they were like trying to convince me that I wasn’t crazy. And I was like, yeah, yeah, I know. So, um, we made the decision together to not have my dad walk me down the aisle and I was gonna have my Uncle Matt walk me down the aisle.

Okay. Um, and my uncle Matt has been there for me. Like, he’s like my dad. Like he, my, I wish my dad was like Uncle Matt. Mm-hmm. He doesn’t have any kids of his own. And him and I have like this bond that has just been like so strong since I was born. And so he’s like the ones that, he was the one when like, my dad wouldn’t be able to show up to my sporting events.

Like, he was always there. Um, I owned a food truck for like five years and he showed up to every single food truck event that I did. Um, so he was, he’s really like, you know, the best person ever. Yeah. And we almost lost him to COVID a couple years before and I didn’t think that he was gonna make it. And so I was like.

You know what? He’s here, he is like a miracle. And you know what? I’m gonna have him walk me down the aisle because I think that’s like what, like what is like, like what God is telling me to do at this point. Like mm-hmm. I think this is like what fate is, like this is fate. Mm-hmm. So the next morning, um, we have to go and quickly set up like the little place cards and stuff.

And my bridesmaid, um, her name in my book about this is Taylor, but she’s my best friend and she, her name’s Amanda. She, um, I. She absolutely was like, I will talk to, or I will send a text message to your dad so you don’t have to worry about it. Whoa. Yeah. So she writes, she writes up a text message, um, and then she’s like, does this sound good?

And I was like, yeah. So she basically said like, Hey, she pretended to be me in the text message. She was like, Hey, um, I just wanna let you know I love you, dad. This is like nothing personal against you. I love you so much. But, um, unfortunately with everything that happened yesterday, I’ve decided to, um, make the decision to have Uncle Matt walk me down the aisle.

Um, I just, I forget what exactly else was in that note or in that message, but basically it was like, I love you and, um, I still want you there, and, uh, I just am doing this so that I can have a great day tomorrow. So she crafts up that message and we send it to together. And then I’m in the chair getting my hair done and my dad calls me and he is calling me.

Or he, he, he or I say hello. And he’s like, what do you mean? And I’m like, yeah, dad. I just, what happened yesterday? Like I can’t, I can’t be in that same mindset for my wedding. This is supposed to be the best day of my life. And that definitely didn’t feel like it yesterday. And so he just went off. He was like, well, the reason that I was me and Elle were like that yesterday is because we found out that you and your sister hate Elle.

And I was like, what? What? And then lo and behold, um, her biological daughter, Elle’s biological daughter, who was my stepsister, um, she. Got into, um, an argument with Elle and she told Elle that she’s self-centered, always has to have the attention on her. She like, basically like called her out on everything and then said, everybody wants your toxic behavior to change, including Sarah and Katie, who’s my sister, my biological sister.

And so they heard that and they like took it to the next level and said like, oh, you hate, like, you guys hate.

Christa Innis: That’s so well ’cause it’s like if someone, if someone heard that like out of nowhere mm-hmm. Don’t you think they’d be like, be like, I need to talk to them, or like, I need to like look forward or something.

Not like, be like, well we heard you hate her, so we’re just not gonna show up and we’re gonna glare at you the whole time. Like Right. It seems so like juvenile to me, right?

Sarah Wizeman: Yes. Yes. And, um, at, at that point. I, I realized when they said that, I’m like, that’s why the last couple of months have been weird. And also they have like barely reached out to me.

So I’m like, oh, okay. Um, so then the whole phone call is just him yelling at me and him like bringing up like everything from the past, like, just like saying like basically how much of a bad person I am. It was just, that was so, that was crazy. Wow. Yeah. And just like listening to my dad, like taking stories out of hindsight and then like reversing them and basically creating lies.

It was just, that was like sitting there on your wedding day, like listening to this. My like, bridesmaids were all in front of me with me on speaker phone talking to ’em and they were like, like that. Oh. And then, um, Elle gets on her phone,

Christa Innis: She probably has on her phone. She gets on the phone?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Yeah. She gets on the phone ’cause he’s like, I think you should talk to her. And then…

Christa Innis: On your wedding day?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, this is me. I’m getting my hair done. The poor hairstylist is in the back. Like, like trying to play, like trying to be cool. I like had to apologize to her a million times. I felt so bad. I’m like, oh my gosh. Um, and so Elle gets on the phone and she starts yelling at me and, and saying like, oh, I heard what I heard.

And then I’m like, okay, uh, it’s not true. Like, I’ve never said that I hated you. You and I both know we’ve had our difficulties in the past, meaning like when they first got married and I like moved out ’cause I couldn’t deal with it. Um, you know, and I, you and I both had our difficulties in the past, but I thought like, we like resolved that kind of thing.

And so, um, so yeah, I just, I kind of told her that and then she like went off on me some more and then my bridesmaid, Amanda came up. And was like, Sarah, you are not dealing with this anymore on your wedding day. And she grabs the phone from me and she goes in the other room and she says, you can hear her saying Elle, hello, Elle.

And Elle’s still talking like she can’t hear.

Christa Innis: So she’s just going off.

Sarah Wizeman: She’s just going off. Yeah. And she finally, you hear Amanda go up and then like silence. And then she’s like, Sarah’s gonna walk down the aisle with Matt. If you have a problem with it, then too bad you can show up or don’t show up. I don’t care.

And then like you hear Elle hang up and then Oh, and then you hear, you hear Amanda just like, that’s right bitch. And then she’s like, and she’s like, um, she’s so funny. She’s just like, yeah, and that’s what I thought or whatever. And then I’m sitting there like shaking. ’cause I’m like, what just happened?

And so, um, all of my sister’s crying. All of my bridesmaids are like, like, I’m like, so feeling so bad for my bridesmaids too. ’cause I’m like, they, they could probably come from normal families. Like, you know, they’ve never seen this, like in my mind at that time. I’m like, oh my gosh. So, um. He ended up not showing up.

He texted him and my, uh, husband Bernard are, were very close. Like, um, he, they would do stuff together all the time. And he texted Bernard before our wedding and said, Hey, I’m sorry I can’t make it. And Bernard thought it was a joke. So like, when we’re doing our first look, but.

Christa Innis: He doesn’t know what’s going on.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. He doesn’t know what’s going on. Oh my. And so Bernard is like, I got like, your dad is like really bad at dad jokes. Like, and I’m like, oh no, that’s not a joke. And then he was like, what? And I’m like, yeah. He’s not coming. He’s, he’s not coming. And, um, he didn’t show up. And, um, none of her, like friends, like I had a whole table not show up because all of, she like told all of her friends not to show up to the wedding.

Her friend, her best friend’s son was our dj. Um, and he showed up. But, but because he knows l and he came up to me and he is like, I’m really sorry what you went through. My mom told me what happened. And um, she told me a little, he, she’s, he’s like telling the story of way that she heard it, which was not accurate, but he’s like, I know that that wasn’t it.

’cause uh, he’s like, Elle did the same thing at my wedding. Like he was, he, he told me that like. He like, or she, um, I guess like yelled at his wife at the wedding or something. I don’t know. But like at the time I was like, what? Like, I’m like sitting there at dinner when the DJ comes up to me and I’m like, she did what?

So it kind of made me feel better though. ’cause I was like, oh my gosh, at least I’m not the only one, like who like know, like that sees her side like her true side. Because for a while, um, I would like my whole family, like my sister and my uncles and I were not separated, but like I would be on like my dad and Elle’s like side side.

I don’t wanna say like that, but like, basically I would go over there for holidays and then I would show up later to the rest of the family’s holiday. ’cause they didn’t have holidays together ’cause they didn’t get along. And so I’m, I’m like, was like the middle ground and like they were trying to tell me like all the things that like weren’t acceptable by my dad and Elle.

And then finally like, I was like, you know what? I see what they’re saying now. I see what’s going on. This is very toxic behavior. And after that I realized that like, that’s very narcissistic. I didn’t really know narcissist, like I’ve heard the term narcissist before and I’ve like seen like in like relationships, like where the guy is like a narcissist to the girl, like girlfriend.

But I’ve never seen it like parent, like parent wise. And I am like, oh, well, nope, you’re, that’s it. You know?

Christa Innis: Yeah. And the fact that she instantly made it like victim mode where like you said, you don’t like me, so you’re terrible. Not like. Not understanding that like maybe someone doesn’t like you because of how you treat them.

Yes. Like she can’t look inward to be like, how have I treated ’em? Yes. And then for your dad to just go along with it and just be like, well, she said so I’m just gonna go with her. It’s like, this is your daughter and your daughter’s wedding. Like

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Yeah. I know. And he, I am convinced, he’s like brainwashed, I guess is the best word for it.

Um. I mean, like he, my, my husband always says too, like, he’s the one that has to live with her every day. And unfortunately, he’s probably picking his battles. Like, is he gonna go against his wife that he has to deal with every day? Who knows like, what she’s capable of? Yeah. Or is he gonna like side with his daughter who like, doesn’t see him like that often, you know?

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Sarah Wizeman: And so it’s really sad to say it like that, but he like had a point. I was like, yeah, that’s, that’s true. I guess, but not, yeah, it’s not either way. Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: It’s not great. It’s not okay either way. It’s right. I feel like it’s like, on the outside, it’s, it’s easier for, not easy, but like for us to look at it and be like, all right, I guess, you know, like that’s the situation, but, like if my, you know, partner was telling me, uh. That about my daughter or like, you know, I’d be like, excuse me. You know? Yeah. Like, um, yeah, I don’t know. I always, I always wonder about stories like that because I’m like, I’m like, it breaks my heart when you, when they like get, like you said, brainwashed by someone and it’s like, what does she have that’s so great that like, you can’t see like everybody else in front of you saying she’s the, she’s the problem over here.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, exactly. I, I really don’t know what it is other than the fact that like, when they first got together, like when my dad and her first got together, things were a little rough because like, my dad was actually in the middle of dating someone who had cancer and like, he didn’t want to like, she was like stage four and like he, like, he didn’t want to like.

I guess he was like a coward in that way. Like he didn’t wanna break it off with her. It’s like there’s so many, like there’s so many little stories to that that’s like a whole nother like hour. But basically like, I guess Elle had trust issues coming into that relationship because they got married so fast and she didn’t realize like everything that was going on.

And so like what I think is happening is that like he married her legally and like realized how like kind of crazy she is. And um, possibly like is scared that like she’ll take everything from him if he like divorces her and stuff like that. I’ve like thought about that. Like me and my uncles talk about like things like that, but I don’t know. I really, I don’t know why my dad, why my dad is like that at all.

Healing, Family Drama, and Finding Connection Through Storytelling

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. I guess we never really fully know or always know the full story, but Yeah. Wow. So that kind of inspired your first book or not inspired, that’s partially in your book, “invisible string?”

Sarah Wizeman: So I have two, so there’s two parts to it.

So this one that I showed earlier is my first book. This is the one like about like how my husband and I met each other and how like we’ve always been connected since we were little and we didn’t know it. Um, so this is more of like a feel good book. The second book I don’t have in here, but um, it’s the invisible string too, and that’s where like all the drama happens with my wedding.

So and this book and this book, I start, um, it’s like my journal entries and I start talking about wedding planning in this book and then it carries on to the second book where my actual wedding happens. And it’s like all the drama from that. So you can see like into my mind, my journal entries are in there of like when it happened and um, yeah.

And unfortunately my dad still hasn’t. Talk to like any of us. Like he cut off contact with me. My sister, um, my uncles, he cut off like everybody. And I’ve wrote him letters. I’ve, I’ve done a lot of healing. I’ve like debated the no contact thing for a while. And then, um, and then I, uh, decided, you know what?

I, I think talking is always the best. Communication’s, always the best communication is key. We wouldn’t be here, we wouldn’t be in this predicament if they just communicated with me and asked me like, did you say that? Or like, whatever.

Christa Innis: Right?

Sarah Wizeman: So I was like, you know what, I’m gonna do that. She wrote a letter, didn’t hear back, have called him, hasn’t haven’t heard back.

And so, yeah, I’m just like kind of on my own healing journey. I’ve been, I’ve been really in my healing journey this past year, but now it’s like getting to the point where it’s like, all right, you know. I’m, I’m good. I’m, I’m, I’m, I’m good now. Like I am, you know what, I’m no contact from his side, I guess. And, you know, it’s, he, it’s his loss at this point.

Christa Innis: You know?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah.

Christa Innis: So true. And it’s like, and it sounds like at least you have, um, like your son, like your uncle Matt and your sister and you know, and you, people around you that support you and love you and, and not saying any of that’s gonna fill a void or whatever, but I’m sure it’s like helping with the peace of like, okay, I have Uncle Matt who’s been a father figure my whole life.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah.

Christa Innis: And it really is your, your dad’s loss because that’s just, it’s disappointing on so many levels that someone can be brainwashed so easily and forget their family like that.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Yeah. And what is really like a positive experience out of this is that by sharing my story, and I did a whole skit on my book, I turned both of my books into skits, like long form skits.

Um. What’s really positive about it is like how many other people who like, have gone through the same thing and they are like, you really, you know, made light of something that I didn’t even know that was like, that was like an option that I could like do. Or, you know, like they didn’t feel alone. I keep getting messages like that.

I don’t feel alone in this. Like, I thought I was going crazy, but I’m not the only one. And it’s really nice to hear those messages that, you know, like my books have helped people and, and like they can relate to them. ’cause it makes me feel less alone too. Like, oh my gosh, I’m not the only one that goes through like tr like this traumatic stuff.

Like, especially during we, uh, like a wedding, you know, it’s, yeah. You know, it’s like, like I was like, the wedding for me was like such a big deal. Like I was so excited to plan my wedding and then like all of this happened and I, it was just like, it was like, okay, it was like kind of a wake up call for me.

’cause I was like, maybe I put too much like, um, what’s the word? Like expectations? Yeah. Yeah. On like, my wedding and like maybe that like, it allowed me to be grateful to be in like, the present moment and to really value like my actual friendships and the relationships that I did have. Like my, my bridesmaids who came to bat for me.

They were all there for me. Like, I may not have had a dad walk me down the aisle, but I had my uncle Matt and my girl show up for me. And that like, really like made me realize how grateful, um, I should be like for all of them and how thankful I am for all of them.

Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s like, I feel like we hear a lot of times like in these big events that, you know.

People show their true colors, right? And so, like, people that are jealous of you or people that have animosity towards you, it will show in these toxic, in these like 10 high tension moments, right? Mm-hmm. And so with them, yeah, it showed, it really showed, and they could not handle it. Mm-hmm. But everyone else, we don’t talk about enough about like, or it shows that it lifts people up and it shows like the positive people in your, and influences your life as well.

So I feel like, um, that’s something we were saying too before recording, is I feel like these stories allow people to connect and also like learn from them or mm-hmm. Um, see it from a different perspective. Like maybe, maybe the dad, a dad. And another story is watching your story and being like, oh my gosh, I was an idiot.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. I’m gonna go talk to my daughter. You know? So I, I was too, because I’ve had moms message me like, um, like mom’s, I should say. Like, that would be like my, my parents’ age. Um, grandmother’s. They’ll message me and they’ll be like, when I first saw your content, like some of it, like, not offended them, but they’d be like, oh, it made me like think a little bit.

And they’re like, but I’ve learned so much about like how to like communicate with my adult children and how to do this differently and how when I’m overstepping. And so like, like I’ve got like a heartfelt message that was like, thank you for that. And I was like, I never even realized that. So you could think maybe I’m helping another woman in this situation.

Or maybe like someone else is watching, being like, oh my gosh, I’m, I’m not gonna be the toxic stepmother. I wanna be more encouraging. You know? So yes, there’s a lot that could come from it.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. That is so true. I actually never thought of it that way. Like I never thought about that part of like someone who is like maybe the toxic mother-in-law or the toxic father or the bridezilla, like watching our skits and being like.

I just did that and maybe I need to change, like you’re totally right and I hope that that does happen. I would love to, I would love to hear stories like that actually, like where they’re like, oh, I realized that this happened and it made me be a better person.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I think so. Because I think it’s like, think about like when things happen in real life, you know, it’s so much more like nuanced, but you see something on tv.

Mm-hmm. And you’re like, oh my God, that’s outrageous. I would never do that. But then you like kind of like you can be like, oh, but you kinda like relate it to your own life. So I feel like if we’re able to like see it play out in a different way, we’re like, wait. Yeah. Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: Right. Yeah, I know. And I feel like.

I know like when you do your skits and when I do my skits, we like very, are like, we’re very much like with, very detailed with the dialogue and so like I feel I’ve gotten that comment before where people are like, oh my gosh, my mother-in-law or whoever has said like the same exact thing to me or something like that.

So it’s, it’s cool to like flip that around and being like, I wonder if people who are in those positions. Hear what we say in our skits and think I just said that exact same sentence, maybe I need to change kind of thing. So yeah, like, oh,

Christa Innis: I didn’t realize that was so toxic to say.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah,

Christa Innis: Yeah.

I think there’s a lot of learning that comes out of the skits, like, oh yeah, for sure. Yeah. Oh yeah. I, I think so too. Thanks for sharing that. I know that was like, I’m sure that’s like a lot to like go through and retell, but I think that’s awesome. Yeah. Send me the links to your books too. We’ll talk about it after, but like, and we’ll, we’ll put the links to your books in the show notes.

Okay. Because I feel like, I feel like people, like listeners would love your book as well, because like, they love, like the, they love the romantic stories. They love like the drama. They love a good mix. So definitely share those with me. We’ll put them.

Sarah Wizeman: Okay. Yeah, absolutely.

Red Flags, Green Flags, and Wedding Chaos Decoded

Christa Innis: Um, okay, before we get to the submission.

Submission. This is the follower submission. Why am I saying that? Weird story submissions. Um, we’re do red flag, green flag. Are we, are you fine?

Sarah Wizeman: Oh, no, I’m good.

Christa Innis: Okay. Okay. Awesome. Um, okay, so this is Red flag versus green flag. Um, here we go. Okay. “The groom’s sister demands to be a bridesmaid even though she constantly argues with the maid of honor.”

Sarah Wizeman: Ooh. Yeah. I would say that’s a red flag for sure.

Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s it.

Sarah Wizeman: Um, but like we were saying earlier. It’s like, there’s always two sides to every story. And this is like the stuff that I take, um, and I’m like, let’s think about it from both perspectives.

Like at first you present a skit to be like, um, the, the sister of the groom demands like to be a bridesmaid because, but like argues with the maid of honor. But then you show like the maid of honor, you show like the other side of like, what’s really going on and like maybe the maid of honor is like doing some evil stuff or whatever.

Some like, like, um, like how I would flip it would be like. Um, the sisters’, uh, the groom sister is actually trying to save the wedding because the maid of honor is trying to like, sabotage ITT or, or something like that. Yes.

Christa Innis: It’s all about like how you word it for No, totally. Yeah. I’ve even had skits where people like, hate one, one character at first, and I see their comments.

I’m like, oh, just wait. Just wait. They’re gonna find out. And then I’ll like completely twist it and they’re like, wait, what? Oh my gosh. I thought I liked, you know, um, because I’m just like, you never know from, Look. Yes. Oh my gosh, that’s so funny.

Um, okay. “A bridesmaid insists on bringing her toddler to every pre-wedding event, even though the bride said ‘No kids.’”

Sarah Wizeman: Red flag.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like we said earlier, it’s like, if it’s like a one off thing, like, oh, I mm-hmm. Sit or canceled or whatever, I’d be like, yeah, that’s fine. Like my, I think my baby shower and bridal shower, I kids or whoever wanted to bring their kitchen to come of course, but mm-hmm. Yeah. Every wedding event, and they’re like, oh, can’t, they’re gonna, they’re just coming with me. It’s like, okay. Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Especially if it’s every, every time like, oh, like disregarding the bride’s feelings for everything. I’m just gonna bring them because I didn’t plan ahead, or whatever. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: Exactly.

Christa Innis: The, um, “the maid of honor gives a 10 minute speech that turns into a story about her breakup and how she learned to love again.”

Sarah Wizeman: Oh, red flag. Oh gosh.

Christa Innis: Like no mattered way. What way You look at that, that’s a red flag.

Sarah Wizeman: 10 minute speech. Red flag. No, I’m just kidding. My sister actually gave like a 10 minute speech. It wasn’t that like that, it wasn’t like that. But she gave me, she gave a 10 minute speech that was like, um, talking about all of our like memories and stuff at the wedding.

I think she, she did that because like she added on more after like, the whole thing blew up. So she was like, let’s make this like a good vibe. Like remember all the good memories kind of thing.

Christa Innis: Yes. No, that’s good. That’s, you have to sometimes, like, you need someone like that that’s gonna like really like think on their feet and like flip their vibe completely.

Right. Um, yeah, I’ve, I’ve definitely heard of a few like situations like that.

Um, okay, last one. “The photographer rearranges the entire timeline because they know what works best for lighting.”

Sarah Wizeman: Oh. I would say red flag at first. Yeah. Yeah. Red flag probably. But yeah, red flag. ’cause they, I mean I, I’m thinking about like putting the time into like my timeline and I’m like, if anybody changed that, I would be so upset. So, yeah, red flag.

Christa Innis: See, I cares about the lighting. I have a weird, like, per perspective on this one is because, okay. My photographer did my timeline, so before the wedding, oh. Like I could finalize some stuff, but like, we did, like, my photographer was like amazing. I don’t even know if photographers did this, but we sat on the call for probably like two hours, an hour and a half, putting the whole timeline together.

And she’s like, okay, these photos, if your wedding’s at, I think it was like we had an early wedding, three 30 or four 30, I think four 30. She was like, then we should do photos here. Your couple’s photos here. If we want nighttime photos, they should be here. So like, we kind like planned around it. Oh, okay.

But, um, so yeah, I was like, so she. If she moved it, I’d be like, okay, you know? You know what you’re doing. Yeah. Okay.

Sarah Wizeman: Okay. Yeah, see that would be the, yeah, that would be green flag that would like that whole thing. That’s like really awesome that your photographer did that. That’s amazing.

Christa Innis: I know. I don’t know if that’s, yeah, I don’t think that’s typical, but she was like, I always get together with my bride and groom like the week before and we just go over the full timeline and she like sent it to, she typed it as we were like talking and she sent the whole thing over to us, so then I just kinda like updated from my brides and bridesmaids and groom went and sent it out, so. Oh, okay. Yeah. That’s awesome. That’s really cool.

All right, let’s get to this week’s story submission. I’m a little raspy today, so bear with me.

Sarah Wizeman: Oh yeah, I understand. I don’t know. Where are you from Christa?

Christa Innis: I’m from Chicago Suburbs, but I live in Wisconsin now, so. Oh, okay. Yeah. Snow lots. Lots of snow. Yeah.

Yeah, so it’s just been like, we got what? I don’t even know. Like 10 inches maybe over the weekend. Oh, okay. So it was like, it was like a blizzard.

Sarah Wizeman: Yes. I live in upstate New York. Right. Like two hours from Canada, so, um, yeah, snow here too. So, and I woke up this morning, I was like, oh my gosh, I hope this clears up before the podcast.

Christa Innis: I know. Plus I feel like, I dunno if you feel the same way, like you’re just like, with filming and all that stuff, you’re just talking all the time. Mm-hmm. So there’s some days, like I’ve lost my voice more in the last couple years than I think I ever have. Mm-hmm. Because it’s just like recording podcasts.

I do YouTube and then skits. I’m just like, okay, I need to drink tea. Yeah. Yeah. So there’s always that desire. ’cause like, I’ll be like, okay, I’m not gonna do a skit today. Like, I need to take the day off and I’ll just post like for the podcast and then I’m like, oh, they really want the next part. I’m like, I don’t wanna let them down.

Okay. I’ll film the skit and then my husband will be like, rest your voice. I’m like, I gotta get it done. Yes. Like always back here. Like, do it, do it.

Sarah Wizeman: I can relate. Yep.

No Kids, No Compromise: When Wedding Entitlement Gets Real

Christa Innis: Anyway, um, okay, here we go. Love your videos. I’m happy to share my own crazy wedding story from 2021. Feel free to use it however you’d like.

“My husband and I were supposed to get married in 2020, but obviously the Global Pandemic had other plans. We ended up getting married at the courthouse that year and rescheduled our full wedding celebration for the following summer. Since we’d already made deposits and everything, we crossed our fingers that we’d actually be able to have it in July, 2021.

By April, we were still hoping, holding out that hope. The governor finally started reopening things, allowing events again, but only at half capacity. Venues could even be shut down if they went over. We had already planned for an intimate wedding. Our original venue capacity was 84, so they reduced the number to 42, which included us. That meant that we had 40 guest spots total, so we had to be strict about it. Originally, our guest list had 50 people, so we had to make some tough cuts. We did get to invite many friends, but it was mostly entirely family. It was almost entirely family. After days of pouring over the list, we finally narrowed it down.

While working on that list, I messaged my sister for contact. She lives outta state and had been dating a guy with a younger daughter for about six months. When we got engaged, she’d asked early on if he could come, and since that was pre-pandemic, I’d said, sure, no problem. Oh, here we go.

Sarah Wizeman: Yep. Here comes the drama.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Here comes the drama. Okay. When it co, when it came time to trim the list, I checked with her to see if he was still planning to come. I’d never even met him, but if she wanted to bring him, I would’ve kept his spot. It just would’ve been an easy cut otherwise. She said he was still coming and then asked if his daughter Violet could come too.

Ah, okay. We’d already decided on a no kids rule except for my husband’s niece and nephew. Funny how we were just talking about this.

Sarah Wizeman: Yes.

Christa Innis: Who were a part of the wedding party. So I told her Violet couldn’t come and suggested that Violet’s mom could keep her during the trip, my sister immediately freaked out saying, if Violet couldn’t come, she wouldn’t come either.

If your boyfriend’s daughter can’t come, the boyfriend that’s never met your sister, you’re not gonna come. That’s wild to me.

Sarah Wizeman: That that is crazy. Yeah. What, you’re not, all right, uh uh.

Christa Innis: And also to not like talking about communication. Not even being like, okay, you know what? Let me talk to him first and let’s see if the, if his ex-wife or whatever can watch the daughter.

Yes. Just immediately freaking out.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, immediately. Like not even like, like we were talking about communication,

Christa Innis: right? Like Yeah. Oh my gosh. Okay. It was something different where like she lived in state and she’d met this little girl many times and she’s like, okay, she’s kind of like a niece. Let’s have her too.

But like, she’s never met her. Right. So it also would probably be easier for her to, I mean, I don’t know the ex’s situation, but Right. You know? Oh my gosh. Yeah. Wow. Okay. Um, all right.

“Honestly, I didn’t care whether my sister came or not. That was her choice, but I knew my mom would take her side as always, and of course she did.

When I told my mom who was paying for the venue, she freaked out too and told me I needed to figure out a way to make it work, because that’s your sister’s family. Nevermind. I didn’t even know this kid or her dad, and that we were already struggling to fit everyone in still. I told her I would look into it.

We went back over the list and there was just no way to make it work without cutting close friends or choosing between cousins in the same family. So I told both my mom and my sister that we couldn’t justify adding Violet. I also said that once we got RSVPs, if anyone declined, we’d probably have the space.” Which I feel like that’s a good response, right?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, that that’s a good like backup plan. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. “That wasn’t good enough. My mom threatened to pull out of the wedding completely. No payment, no attendance over this.” Now, the mom,

Sarah Wizeman: The mom, the mom!? What? Did it say if the mom knew the daughter?

Christa Innis: So far it did not say no. But she keeps referring to it as her family.

Sarah Wizeman: Okay.

Christa Innis: So I don’t know if they’re like all like, let’s see. So it sounds like. 2020 when they originally got engaged, or 2019 when they originally got engaged Uhhuh. So she’s been with this guy for maybe a year and a half, two years by this point. I don’t know.

Sarah Wizeman: Oh my gosh. What?

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. “My sister accused me of playing favorites because we made exceptions to the two kids in the wedding party.

That’s pretty normal though.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. What!?

Christa Innis: “Then she told me I was dead to her. At that point, I’d had enough. I told her that was her choice and she could consider her invitation revoked.”

Sarah Wizeman: Oh God. Uninvited.

Christa Innis: Oh my God. Yeah. You’re, you’re done

Sarah Wizeman: Uninvited.

Christa Innis: But you gotta kind of like, not saying I support, like being like, you’re done. But I’m like, you gotta kind of like applaud her for being like, be like, okay, well you wanna play two can play that game. Because I think, I think half the time when people threaten things like that, they would just want you to change it. Like they don’t, they’re not gonna actually follow through.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah.

Christa Innis: They want you to, they wanna get their way.

Sarah Wizeman: Yes, a hundred percent. I will back you up on that one. Yeah. I’ve seen it happen so many times.

Christa Innis: Have you? Yeah. I just, I feel like there’s so many empty, like, threats out there. ’cause they just, they know they can take advantage of someone.

They’re like, if you don’t do this, I’m gonna do this. So they’re like, they’re like, I just don’t wanna even risk the chance of that happening, you know?

Sarah Wizeman: Right.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. “Cue my mom’s next meltdown. My sister had always been the favorite and this just proved it again in the end. My sister didn’t come to the wedding.

My mom eventually gave in at the last minute. One of my aunts also took my sister’s side and didn’t attend though, to be fair. I think it had more to do with her finding out my uncle was cheating than our own drama.” Okay. Whoa. I think that was separate. Okay. “That’s another, another thing. Once those people took themselves off the list, I actually got to invite a few people we wanted there.

Oh. And as a cherry on top, my mom also tried to get me to cut my stepmom’s parents, even though they’d been in my life for 20 years and were helping pay for the wedding. Obviously I refuse.” I don’t get the whole like telling someone, you have to uninvite or invite someone to the wedding. It’s like, that’s not how it works. It’s not your day.

Sarah Wizeman: No. It’s not your day at all. And also, like of course, the mother would target the stepmother’s family, like I feel like there might be some jealousy or animosity there or something.

Christa Innis: Story, she’s story like by her parents. It’s like, if they’ve been in her life as grandparents for 20 years, I think it’s acceptable.

Right? Oh my God. What? That’s s so of course the mom was never, the mom was always gonna show up, I feel like.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. I mean, unless you’re my dad, why are, how are you gonna, how are you gonna miss your daughter’s wedding? You know? Yes. Like that’s,

Christa Innis: And now to be like, put this wedge even more between the sisters, because it sounds like they’re already kind of like far apart, like they live in different states, but like the fact that they’re, I don’t know.

It’s, yeah. Um, so she says, “for weeks afterward, my mom kept pushing me to apologize to my sister, even though I’d done nothing wrong. I told her I wouldn’t and that my sister actually owed me an apology. We didn’t speak for months after the wedding. And even now, four years later, we barely talk. So yeah, that’s my story. Use it, tweak it, or do whatever you want with it.”

Sarah Wizeman: Oh, oh my gosh. That’s that. Oh, man. So did, did she mean her and her sister barely talk?

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. That’s, that’s really sad. Like we’re talking about like looking at both perspectives, right? And so like, I could see, like, I could see where the other sister would be hurt.

’cause like, let’s say she’s been living with this guy now, what did she say? She met him in? It had to be, um, they had, let’s see, it was pre-pandemic. When she’d asked early on. So it would’ve been like 20, yeah. 2019. 2019, right. Yeah. So at this point they’d been together, let’s say at mo at the very most, it would be two years.

Okay. But probably not even, maybe a year and a half. Yeah. Um, so for the sister, like she’s been living this with this guy for a year. Maybe the daughter comes every other week. Maybe she like, takes care of the daughter mostly. We don’t know. Yeah. Um, so I could get feeling hurt for sure. Like if you’re like, this is my family, family.

This is my almost stepdaughter and my boyfriend of two years. But to make that be like, what you’re gonna, the hill you’re gonna die on?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Right. Of course it would be easier for her just to like invite, but I don’t know. It’s, yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: I know, it makes me wonder if like she and her sister have like some sort of back history of like just sibling rival rivalry kind of thing going on too.

Like maybe, I don’t know. That’s, that’s how I think with the whole skits thing, but um, yeah, I, that would not be the hill that I would wanna die on. Me and my sister, we are best friends, but we also are, are like tough critics too. So like, you know, we’ve had a little bit of sibling rivalry going on, but I would never like ever not show up to her wedding if she told me that I couldn’t bring my significant other or my child. Mm-hmm. Actually, my, so Amanda, the girl I was talking about, my bridesmaid, she’s more of like a sister to me, and she had her wedding during the pandemic, and she asked me to, um, come by myself without my, um, he was my fiance at the time.

Mm-hmm. Um, and, or no, he was just my boyfriend at the time, actually. But I, I was like, of course, that’s no problem. Like, you know, like, I’m gonna be there for you. I understand because of what’s going on. I know you would have him there if it wasn’t the restrictions. I know it’s outta your control, so. Yeah.

Um, but yeah, I would not choose that as my hill to die on.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like, I’m even thinking like, let’s say like my cousin who’s like a sister to me, like she lives in another state, let’s say. Like she’s getting married and was like, we’re not doing any kids, so your daughter can’t come. I don’t think I’d be offended by that.

Mm-hmm. Like my blood daughter, I would be like, okay, either I can make it work with a babysitter or I can’t, and be, I either fly with someone to watch her in the hotel room or I can’t make it work. I wouldn’t be like, oh my gosh, how, how dare you like not invite her. Do you hate her? Like, ’cause it’s not that personal.

Yeah. Like it’s not personal. There’s just some places that I feel like aren’t meant for kids sometimes. Yeah. People just don’t want that vibe and, and that’s okay. Like when people get up in arms in the comments about it, they’re like, oh, well, wedding’s a family event. And I’m like, sure. But it’s also a party.

Yeah. It’s alcohol. Mm-hmm. I mean, so it’s teach their own, like, you wouldn’t bring your child into an R-rated movie. You wouldn’t bring your child to like a nightclub or, you know, like there’s, there’s certain places and if that’s the vibe you want for your wedding, you, that’s the beauty of it. You get to pick what vibe you want and um, but yeah, it’s like you can’t be like up in arms about. Or mad at the bride for wanting it a certain way, you know?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, exact. Exactly. Like whatever the bride wants. I, I, that’s like kind of been my motto is like, whatever the bride wants, like, is like what you respect, I guess, or I, I shouldn’t even say the bride is the couples that make those decisions together too.

Mm-hmm. And so whatever they want, like respect that. Obviously crazy. I’ve seen crazy things happen, but I’m talking about like the people who are like, like the no kid weddings or like mm-hmm. You know, um, other decisions that they make. Like I’ve seen like the dry weddings as well. Like we kind of that’s a whole, like controversy as well too. So Yeah. If you want to support them, respect their wishes, uh, otherwise like just say no thank you to the invite, I guess. Yeah, that would be, that’s like kind of like what my motto would be for that.

Christa Innis: Right. Because yeah, again, it’s like the entitlement because like, she didn’t even try to like. See if they could find someone to watch the child or like, how about we all fly together and then he just stays back with her while go to the wedding. You know, like, yeah. It was anything like that. It was just freaking out on the bride immediately. Yes. And making it her problem. Change your rules for your wedding. ’cause I’m bringing,

and like that’s, that doesn’t sit right, right with me because I’m just like, there could have been so many other ways to go about it. Like if she was like, Hey, actually, like he has sole custody and we, you know, can’t rely on the mom. Okay, well how about you come here and she can come to this, you know, like you can like, communicate through things.

Like, it’s just demanding. I don’t like.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, a hundred percent. Like if she would’ve, instead of texted back the demand or like the, the awful things she could have said, Hey, like, let me talk to him and see like what options we have. Do you have any other options on your end? Like, could you go to the venue and say, Hey, is there like, like something that we could do?

Like, could we. I, I don’t even know what the, ’cause that was like a mandatory, like mandate, but, um, I’m just like thinking like, is there something that she could do on her end? Like, you know? Right. Like, it’s like you were talking about, it’s just like all about communication and Yeah. When you come at someone and just like, start yelling like that doesn’t, that doesn’t end well for anybody.

Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. That just starts off all on the bad foot.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Well, that was a, a wild story. All right. Yes. There’s no listening what you, what you think about that.

Wedding Confessions: Toxic Moms, Sibling Drama & Vendor Chaos

All right. I always like to end these episodes with some confessions people send me. They all have to do with weddings and stuff, so, oh, okay. Here we go.

All right. Um, let me check my eyesight here. Okay, here we go. Um, people will send me these on Instagram, so here we go.

Um, “moved across the country hoping it will help my husband limit contact with his toxic mom.”

Sarah Wizeman: Oh.

Christa Innis: Keep us posted on how that’s going.

Sarah Wizeman: Okay. Yes, exactly. Oh my goodness. Um, I hope, I hope that, I hope that the toxic mom is not gonna follow you there. That’s like, like what I think of, I’m like, I hope they don’t gonna move there.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. And I feel like at the end of the day too, it has to be him that limits the toxic mom.

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Like block or block, um, not answer certain calls or talk to her? It’s not, yeah. Um, this says, “currently terrified that my brother and sister-in-law will announce their pregnancy at my wedding.”

Would that terrify you if someone were to announce their pregnancy?

Sarah Wizeman: Um, no. Um, that would not actually, I would be, I would be the one to be like super happy, especially if like they’ve been like waiting for it for a while, like. That would be just me though. Like that wouldn’t bother me. An engagement on the other hand, I think would bother me a little bit more than a pregnancy announcement.

Christa Innis: Proposal at your wedding?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah, that’s what I meant. Proposal. Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: I mean, I feel like it’s like, depends on like how they would do it. If they like, were just like, Hey, you wanna let you know? I’d be like, I’d so happy for you. That’s awesome. If they were like in a speech, just so you know, we’re having a baby. It’s all about That’s true about relationships and I think like how you go about it.

Yeah. Because I did get a story sent to me once where, um, the whole like. Engagement. It was like a one upper kind of thing, right? With the two siblings. And the mom wanted to do a grand gender reveal at the wedding and they were like, no, like they wanted like balloons and like, and then they saw, and one of the bridesmaids saw the mom loading boxes of balloons into the car.

And they were like, these are staying out here. And then they like did a big thing at their table. Like she would not say no. She wanted her moment of like announcing that she was gonna be a grandma at the wedding.

Sarah Wizeman: That’s like a, um, a Madison Humphrey, like I can see Madison Humphrey. And being like, oh my gosh.

Wow. Yeah, I can, yeah, that’s on hand. Yeah, no, I was thinking like, it would be more of like, um, like they would be like over in the corner, like at the bar or whatever, and being like, just let you guys know we are pregnant. Like, kind of like talking to their family. Not like a whole shebang, balloons and stuff. Holy cow.

Christa Innis: Right. Yeah. Oh my gosh. So I wonder if like, this girl has like a hint that something big is gonna happen or I don’t know. Mm-hmm. Good luck, girl. Yeah.

Sarah Wizeman: Let her know. Let us know or let Christa know what happened. Yes. Let us

Christa Innis: know. Um, okay. This last one says, “sister-in-law to the bride called the pastor and said he shouldn’t marry the couple.” Yikes. Why are we doing that?

Sarah Wizeman: The sister-in-law called the pastor and told him that they shouldn’t, he shouldn’t marry them.

Christa Innis: Uhhuh.

Sarah Wizeman: What? Wait, is the confession? Confession is coming from the bride or the sister?

Christa Innis: No, it just says, it’s just says the si The bride’s sister-in-law called the pastor. So I wonder if it’s just like things that people like.

Sarah Wizeman: Okay.

Christa Innis: That’s why.

Sarah Wizeman: Wow. That is, that’s, I wonder why, I wonder what provoked that. I, I feel like maybe infidelity, uh, I don’t know. Or just doesn’t like her. Yeah. Or yeah, like the cattiness of it. I’m so nice.

Christa Innis: I just heard a story where a sister-in-law tried, um, canceling the bride’s dress like she called the bridal shop.

And pretended to be the bride and said, we will no longer need your services. And she went around and canceled vendors and venues.

Sarah Wizeman: I did a skit like that once. I can’t remember the actual details, but I remember like the mother-in-law calls in and like cancels, um, cancels a bunch of different things and then they show up and nothing is there.

So. That’s, I feel like that’s like a popular thing. Um, oh my God. Like that. I’m, he, I like hear it all. I hear about that a lot. Like people like, ’cause that’s why, um, like, uh, the vendors have to have a code now. Like, so like when you call in, like they have to make like a special code, um, before you can like, cancel anything because like they’ve had problems with like, people calling in and like changing stuff or canceling it.

Um, that weren’t supposed to.

Christa Innis: That’s why I know. I never knew that was a thing until people started sending me stories and they were like, yeah, my mother-in-law tried changing everything at our venue. And I’m like, what? Why do people, people do that? Like, this is really making these skits. I’ve really learned a lot about how crazy some people are.

Sarah Wizeman: I know, I’m, I agree with you. ’cause I’m like, wait, she did what? I have to act that out, you know, kind of thing. Like, oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. That’s so funny.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Well, thank you so much for coming on. This was so fun hanging out with you. Oh

Sarah Wizeman: gosh. Absolutely. Thank you for having me. I was so excited to be on.

It was so fun to talk about all the different stories and stuff, so thank you for having me on.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And thank you for sharing your story. I know that was a lot probably to dive back into, but, um, can you, for everyone listening, can you share again, like where they can find all your content, your, like your social handles, your book name, and anything else fun you’re working on?

Sarah Wizeman: Yeah. Um, so my book name is The Invisible String. I think it might be backwards, but in the invisible string. No, it’s, it’s forward to me. Oh, it’s okay. Cool. Yeah. Um, you can find it on Amazon. Um, and then all my handles are just @Sarah Wizeman for any of my social media. I’m on TikTok and YouTube. Um, I don’t really go on Instagram that much.

It’s just like, it’s like comp too complicated for me, for Instagram for sure. But yeah. And, um, yeah, I’m coming out with, so I’ve like challenged myself to kind of release like a new book every, like, on YouTube is more like my, like longer stories where TikTok is like my short like bridal stories and like crazy skits.

Um, so I’ve challenged myself to like publish a book every month, um, and then like kind of month act it every month. Yeah. Act it out on Go girl. It probably won’t be as big as this. Not that this is big, but it like, probably will be like short stories kind of thing. But, um. Right now I’m working on one ’cause I work, I help my, one of my best friends who was a bridesmaid of mine, she owns a Christmas tree farm and it is so fun to work with her at the Christmas Tree Farm.

So the next book I’m gonna be publishing here soon is actually like a Christmas tree farm story, so…

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Like Hallmark story.

Sarah Wizeman: Yes, yes. I’m so excited about it. So, and then I’ll act it out and like post it on YouTube and kind of do that like monthly over there. But TikTok will basically stay like the plot twist crazy wedding stuff and like romance, like I usually like romance, uh, crazy relationship stuff, all that.

Christa Innis: I love that. That’s so smart. That’s such a smart way and fun way to like market your books too and get people. Yeah. Yeah. All right, well thank you so much. We’ll put all the links to all your books and everything in the show notes as well.

Sarah Wizeman: Okay. Thank you, Christa!

by Christa Innis

Queer Fashion, Wedding Etiquette and a SIL Showdown with Kati Kons

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What happens when a bride’s sister demands the wedding photos be moved — because she’s pregnant? This episode dives into a real-life story filled with family tension, wedding day stress, and boundary crossing. Christa and Kati unpack the drama behind the scenes: from feelings of entitlement to unspoken rivalries and the pressure of making a wedding day perfect for everyone.

If you’ve ever wondered how far you should bend for family or what’s really acceptable at weddings, this episode is for you. Plus, they share honest reflections on friendship, jealousy, and the tricky art of RSVP etiquette.

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Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

01:18 Bridesmaid Experiences and Challenges

02:46 Bridesmaid Dress Shopping Stories

05:23 Financial Expectations for Bridesmaids

08:34 Non-Traditional Wedding Choices

10:48 Fashion and Color Theory

14:01 Growing Up in Chicago Suburbs

15:14 Privacy and Online Safety

16:37 Meet Kati: The Queer Fashion Stylist

19:48 Non-Traditional Wedding Attire

28:31 Kati’s Wedding Planning

34:25 Rapid Fire Questions

38:36 Diving into Wedding Stories

39:48 Rant on Formal Attire Norms

40:55 Queer Fashion at Weddings

44:13 Navigating Wedding Dress Codes

51:56 Wedding Story: Sibling Rivalry

55:31 Reacting to Wedding Drama

58:32 The Importance of Communication

01:04:48 Reflecting on Wedding Etiquette

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

The Photo Location Drama — Should a bride accommodate a pregnant sister’s request to move photo shoots on the wedding day?
Family Tension and Silent Rivalry — Exploring possible jealousy and competition between siblings at weddings.
When Love Isn’t Transactional — Discussing the expectation of reciprocity in wedding roles and attendance.
The Importance of RSVP Etiquette — How a simple “yes” or “no” can save the bride and groom headaches.
Photographer vs. Planner Roles — Why having a dedicated wedding planner is crucial to avoid chaos.
Pregnancy and Wedding Participation — Respecting health and energy limits without guilt-tripping.
Friendship Boundaries Post-Wedding — Navigating hurt feelings when friends can’t attend your big day.
Legal Marriage vs. Long-Term Partnerships — When wedding guest lists exclude “non-married” partners, and why that’s problematic.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“Love is not transactional. If it feels that way, then maybe you shouldn’t go.” – Christa Innis
“It’s wild to ask a bride to change the logistics of her entire wedding day for someone else.” – Kati Kons
“Sometimes people feel like they’re owed something just for showing up.” – Kati Kons
“Weddings aren’t about competition — they’re about celebration.” – Kati Kons
“Marriage doesn’t change your life overnight; it’s more like a party you throw for yourself.” – Kati Kons
“The wedding day is about the couple, not anyone else’s agenda.” – Christa Innis
“RSVPs are important — they’re not just polite, they’re necessary.” – Christa Innis

About Kati:

Kati Kons is a queer wedding fashion stylist based in Washington, D.C. They specialize in helping queer individuals find affirming and non-traditional attire for weddings and other formal events. Kati works with nearlyweds, guests, and vendors, guiding them through the process of finding attire that reflects their personal style and identity. They are known for their inclusive and affirming approach to wedding fashion, particularly for those who may not find themselves represented in traditional wedding attire.

Follow Kati Kons:

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

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A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Okay, so we were just talking like while before recording and so we’re like, you know, let’s just start. And of course here I am the planner. I have to start like introducing it even though we said like, let’s just start talking. Um, anyways, we were talking about bridesmaids being a bridesmaid because I said last week my person had a hot take that said, if you like your friends, don’t ask them to be a bridesmaid.

And I’ve been a bridesmaid like nine times. You said you’ve been one once and that was enough for you.

Kati Kons: Yeah, that was totally enough. Like I’m done. Yeah. Well, and it was for my sister. It was not even like a friend. So funny.

Christa Innis: All your friends listening are like, okay.

Bridesmaids, Budgets & Boundaries: Rethinking the Wedding Party

Kati Kons: I also got married two weeks ago and didn’t have a wedding party.

So,

Christa Innis: see, and I, it’s funny because like the older I get now, I’m like, there are certain things that like, I’m like, I would do so differently. Mm-hmm. I loved having my wedding party, but, but like, I feel like if I were to get married today, I’d be like, you know what? If you wanna be like, wear a certain color, but I’m not gonna have you guys do all that extra stuff.

I don’t know, I kind of just, it does complicate things a little bit.

Kati Kons: And like what, like what complicate, what does it complicate?

Christa Innis: I feel like not my own wedding. ’cause I feel like I, again, like I was one of the last, one of last of my friends to get married. So like, I had been in so many weddings over the years and I saw kind of like drama that happened with bridesmaids stress, with bridesmaid dress shopping.

Oh, I’ve, I got stories about that. Um, just crazy stuff where I was just like, I don’t wanna deal with this. So, for example, like the bridesmaid dress shopping, it was like. You’d go in with a bride that had no clue what she wanted. Right. And so like, everyone ha shares their opinion. Everyone picks their favorite dress.

It’s like bridesmaids the movie. Right? So it’s like everyone’s picking their own dress and like, this fits me the best. This color’s best for me. Too many opinions. As a bride, you need to know if we’re gonna have bridesmaid dresses. No. Kind of the vibe you want. So I was like, we’re going online. You have to set

Kati Kons: some boundaries.

Christa Innis: Yeah. So for me, I was like, we’re going online. I literally sent them a link to Birdie Gray and I was like, pick something in this color. Pick whatever style you like for your body. Do you?

Kati Kons: Yeah, no, that is, that is good. Um, I, um, one of my clients is a bridesmaid in someone else’s wedding and didn’t know what to wear and came to me asking me to style them and was like, oh, uh, the bride doesn’t have any parameters whatsoever.

And I said, not even color. And she goes, oh yeah, I guess she gave us green and blue. I said green or blue. Not even like, not even like a shade, either one. There was, there was absolutely no parameter and no dress type. It doesn’t have to be a dress even. It can be pants, it can be anything. Um, which is great.

I like, I love flexibility, but at the same time, it’s like, you know, she has an idea of what she wants to wear and she has an idea of what standing out means. But I feel like. Everyone’s interpretation of like standing out and like being interesting at the same time, which is what bridesmaids want to do is be interesting, but not stand out too much.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Is like

Kati Kons: different in everyone else’s heads. And I feel like that’s really challenging balance to, like, it’s a balancing act and it’s really hard to strike that balance when you don’t communicate that with the bride.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And the

Kati Kons: bride doesn’t communicate exactly what she wants. So I’m like trying really hard to help her with this task, especially when I’m not in communication with the bride myself.

Christa Innis: So, yeah, that’s hard when there’s a middle person. Yeah. I feel like a lot of the stories I hear or see it all comes down to communication too. ’cause it’s like if a bride, you know, maybe is like, maybe there’s a weird tension with one of the bridesmaids or something, and then the one bridesmaid like picks a dress that’s like a loud color or something, but they never really communicate what the expectations were of being a bridesmaid or vice versa.

It’s hard to like. Get on the same page if they don’t communicate, I don’t know. Or if it’s like a husband’s cousin or something, so they’re not close.

Kati Kons: I just also feel like it’s really hard when you’re like a bridesmaid and there’s like some people that are like, oh, I can afford to pay $400 for a dress, and other people can’t.

And it’s like, how do you shove the expectation on people to like pay for some things and not other people? I don’t know. It’s so challenging. So I had another client subsidize her bridesmaids where she was like, oh, I want them in like $600 dresses, so I’m gonna give them $500 each and they’re gonna have to pay the rest of the way, or whatever.

Okay. And I was like, that’s a really good idea. But then she was like. But I want them in $800 shoes. And I was like, girl, oh my gosh, that’s like a crime. You can’t do that. Um, and so we had to have a conversation about expectations. But anyways, um, that was, uh, it was, it was really nice on her end to be like, oh, I wanna subsidize part of the way because she wanted a certain look to like her, she wanted her bridesmaids to look a certain way and like have a certain aesthetic that she knew couldn’t be done with a smaller budget.

And so Right. That was definitely a great way to like ensure that at least it was there in some respect. Right,

Christa Innis: right. And

Kati Kons: I think not a lot of brides prioritize that. And I think they should.

Christa Innis: Well, yeah, and I feel like I’ve heard that a lot. It’s like they have all these expectations, but don’t kinda look at the budget of each individual person.

Mm-hmm. Um, I feel like, I look back at weddings I was in in my early twenties, and I think the first couple, they were pretty good. Like where it was like, okay, we were all just like right outta college. We were all pretty broke, you know? Mm-hmm. Exactly. And then as you kind of get a little bit older, like maybe you’re a little more in your career, but definitely mid twenties when I was in my wedding in weddings, I was still was spending way outta my budget because it was like bachelorette party, you’re, you’re paying for bridal shower, you’re buying gifts for each thing.

It all just adds up. And I was in weddings where brides wanted very specific. Most were, I would say most were laid back, but it was like very specific colors. Mm-hmm. And styles of shoes or something. Luckily not $800, so I couldn’t complain too much. But that’s why when it got time for mine, again, it was like a $99 dress.

I know on the website, I think my maid of honor, her dress was like 40 because they had like a sale. And I was like, buy yours now. Buy yours now. And so I was like, I want everyone to feel comfortable, like, yeah, wear shoes you already have, don’t spend extra money. I

Kati Kons: mean, like, we’re me and my friends, what’s so funny is like I’m, I’m 25, like we’re not, we’re not 22, 25 is like young, but like, I mean, we’re being the first being married out of our, all of the friends, you know, I feel like this responsibility to make everything cheap.

And we didn’t do bachelorette parties. We didn’t do any of, we didn’t do wedding parties. We didn’t make anyone pay for things. The only thing is we wanted people to be here. Yep. And, and, and, yeah. And we, they were here, you know? Yep. And that was awesome for us. We didn’t do a registry even, we didn’t ask people, we didn’t do bridal showers.

We didn’t do any of that. Um, which we didn’t. We’re non-traditional people, so that didn’t feel like we needed to do that at all. Um, but like, I don’t know, paying for things seems like such a big thing right now because of the economy, you know? But like, if I were, if I were like, I don’t know, I’m, I’m, I don’t feel like I’m millennial, but like if I were a millennial and I was like getting married in the time when all the millennials were getting married, like if I were my sister and like, I don’t know, everyone was doing those things.

And like I had the choice between like a $4,000 wedding dress and a $6,000 wedding dress and that $2,000 delta. Or I could take the $2,000 and subsidize my bridesmaid’s wedding or their dresses Yeah. To like get them to wear something much cooler. I would do that. I. Yeah. Yeah. But I feel like people don’t do that and they should.

As a fashion stylist, I feel like if you’re gonna dictate what your wedding party is wearing, it better be something much higher fashion, you know? Mm-hmm.

Styling Weddings with Color Theory & Confidence

I had to wear, when I was a bridesmaid, a very boring dress. It was like just a plain sage green. How long

Christa Innis: ago? A plain sage green, you said?

Kati Kons: Yeah.

Christa Innis: How long ago was the

Kati Kons: wedding?

Uh, it was April, 2020. Uh, f*ck. 2022.

Christa Innis: Okay. So like three years ago. So I was thinking like when my, the first wedding I was in, which was, oh my God, I feel so old saying this. 14 years ago, like 13 years ago, I was a junior in college. Anyways, it was that everyone had the same bridesmaid dress style. Yeah. We all

Kati Kons: had the same one too, and that was three years ago.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I can you imagine? Yeah.

Kati Kons: Sorry.

Christa Innis: I love the individual going on. I love the individuality now. I love, I’ve been in a lot of weddings where we all wore the same dress and then it started moving to like wear the same color but different styles. Mm-hmm. Mine was like, pretty much wear the same color or same color, but there was like three color options in the same family.

It was like mauves, whatever. Yeah,

Kati Kons: yeah, yeah. That’s cool. But,

Christa Innis: but yeah, I was, but I see, the thing is, if I had a stylist, I feel like I would be one I love now where they have like different colors, but it just goes together. Mm-hmm. I’m not like, I don’t have the eye for that, so I’m just like, you know what, pick one off.

There’s,

Kati Kons: there’s a very easy way to do that. It’s so easy and all you have to do is play with the color wheel a little bit. Because like, you don’t wanna do something. Well, first of all, you have to do a bunch of different colors. Right. But you can’t use all of the colors. You have to take like two of them out.

So if you’re gonna do like a rainbow, like take out your reds and like any your reds and anything close to a red, uh, pinks are cute oranges if only if they’re bright. Right. Don’t do like a burnt orange. Right. Okay. Like what I’m wearing right now. Like, take out your red. Yeah, but it’s like, it’s like something super warm, like a red.

Don’t do that. Right. Okay.

Christa Innis: Okay. Okay.

Kati Kons: And then you have to maintain, it’s like kind of, it’s kind of like using color theory, but like I’ve never been trained in color theory. The only, so my experience using this color theory is what I’ve been taught as an 8-year-old in art class. So, love it. Literally just like keep that in the back of your mind as I tell you this.

Is that the way that I do it? Is like complimentary colors are like opposite colors on the color wheel.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Kati Kons: Um, and you would use like bright, you know how you would use bright colors with darker colors, right. And opposite colors.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Kati Kons: Um, you would just basically play with that and take away one color of all of ’em, like red I said, or whichever color you don’t like, red, blue, whatever.

Okay. Um, and then play with the rest of the, and make one of ’em, not neon, but really bright, um, as your accent color.

Christa Innis: Okay.

Kati Kons: I feel like we should, I feel like I should show you this as in real time, but um, here

Christa Innis: I’ll just show you my purse. You are like, let me just like whip something together.

Kati Kons: Yeah. Oh, this is a, is this a good example?

This doesn’t have any blues on it.

Christa Innis: Okay. So yeah, because it all goes together because you’re not take, you’re taking out one of the main Yeah. I wanna start like, noticing this and like looking around because so many fashion is all

Kati Kons: just observing if you Yeah, I was just having this conversation with someone today.

Oops. Fashion is just observing. Um, but yeah, color theory is interesting. It’s just like, um, like, you know how, you know, the, when I was young, they always taught in color class and art class. I used to talk about all the time, uh, the sports teams, uh, football team jerseys. Mm. Like if you think about marketing in, uh, sports, uh, like the Seattle Seahawks, the like neon green and the navy blue.

Mm-hmm. That’s like a very intentional marketing thing. Um. What else? I always thought that like the Vikings, the, the gold and the purple a very bad choice. And the Packers is now, it’s iconic, being gold and green, but I feel like is also a bad choice.

Christa Innis: That was my high school colors. Oh God. We were the Gators.

Where are you from? Uh, Chicago suburb.

Bridesmaid Drama & Digital Boundaries

Kati Kons: Oh really? Me too. Oh yeah. Well, let’s talk about that. I now I’m scared. Where, where are we from? Are we from the same suburb? Are are we neighbors? No. My God. Wait, who’s the Gators? Do I know? The Gators? Let me think. Me and also my partner. I might

Christa Innis: even pull this out ’cause I’m like so secretive about where

Kati Kons: I live.

I don’t, I don’t know if I know the Gators. So let me think about this for a minute.

Christa Innis: There’s the Florida Gators, you know,

Kati Kons: Stevenson?

Christa Innis: Stevenson.

Kati Kons: Oh, nevermind. I feel like Stevenson was green. That’s why I, oh, Stevenson

Christa Innis: High School. I’ve heard of that.

Kati Kons: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Who did I just meet? I just met someone that said they went to Stevenson.

Someone messaged me on. TikTok. So if you’re listening, Hey, uh, she messaged me, I think she said she went to Stevenson and she was like, you talk about being from Chicago on your podcast. And I was like, oh, I didn’t realize I did that, but yeah.

Kati Kons: What suburb is it?

Christa Innis: Huh?

Kati Kons: What suburb is it?

Christa Innis: I’ll tell you when we don’t record, or I guess I can take it out.

Oh, that’s

Kati Kons: fine. That’s so fair. I mean, I guess like, I don’t think, I’m never gonna live there again. I am in Washington DC right now, and yeah, I feel like, I don’t know. I got docs on the internet a couple months ago in which people found my old Instagram account and I deleted it by now. But like they found my old Instagram account, they found a bunch of old sh*t on the internet from me and like put my address on the internet.

Christa Innis: Oh my God. That’s like my nightmare.

Kati Kons: It was like kind of bad. Um, long story short, don’t, um. Do a lot of things that I did, which is actually, actually don’t, don’t be a right wing troll on the internet. How about that? Um, anyways, yeah. Um, I literally was about to do something anyways, don’t don docx people on the internet.

Thank you. Yes. And then, uh, so I feel like that’s fine. But I grew up in a suburb of Chicago, not yours though, because I think I would’ve known by now. Because I don’t know a gator in that area. But anyways,

Christa Innis: people are gonna be like searching like gators. I don’t live there now, so it doesn’t really matter.

But I’m like, I’m like very private online, and I’m like, if people seek No, you should be, no, I

Kati Kons: think

Christa Innis: that’s a really

Kati Kons: good thing

Christa Innis: because there’s just like, like what you just said. Um, I had a girl on here that said,

Kati Kons: I was like, the f*ck. But it, uh, it’s a good thing because I, uh, and you should know this for the future, if you ever get docs, you can request to scrub things from Google.

And so I did and it was gone. Oh,

Christa Innis: well, there you go. All right. Well that’s a, that’s a good lesson. Yeah.

Kati Kons: Yeah. And I’m so sorry for derailing the conversation like four times, but, um,

ADHD, Creativity & Queer Wedding Fashion

Christa Innis: oh my gosh. You’re, uh, let’s, let’s go back, well, since we kind of just jumped in, can we just like introduce who you are and what you do?

I know we kind of went backwards, but I, um, I feel like it would give more context to why we’re talking about styling so much. So tell us about your brand, who you are and all that good stuff.

Kati Kons: I am Kati. I am a queer fashion stylist, and I mostly do weddings and non-traditional weddings, um, because there’s no process for finding non-traditional wedding attire, um, or wedding attire that isn’t like a suit or a dress.

Um, to clarify. Um, and what were your other questions? I have a DHD. I just already lost it. Oh, good. I

Christa Innis: think that’s why we’re vibing so well. I haven’t, okay. I haven’t been officially diagnosed, but my whole life I’m like, I’m pretty sure I have a DD or a DHD. No. Then you probably do. It’s, I get like, either very focused or I’m just like, woo, where are we?

What are

Kati Kons: we talking about? Yes. That’s a DHD. It’s, it’s not the lack of focus, it’s the reregulation of it. Right? Yeah. If

Christa Innis: I don’t plan out my day. I’m all over it. That’s why I’m a planner. That’s why I love planning sh*t, because if I don’t, I am.

Kati Kons: That’s really good. I, I don’t, I really should plan out my day because when I do it, I’m so on, you know?

Yes, yes. That’s the thing.

Christa Innis: I think people don’t think we have the capabil, I say we now. I’m like, now I’m a part of the a d We don’t, people don’t get us. No. Um, yeah.

Kati Kons: It’s okay.

Christa Innis: No, it’s just like, I think like the

Kati Kons: diagnosis is just a label.

Christa Innis: Okay. It’s just a label. Yeah. No, I just feel like once I was really able to like get organized, that’s when I was like, okay, that’s my magic power.

I can get organized and I can get stuff done if I don’t, you able

Kati Kons: to like control your brain is just an unmatched thing. Yeah. It’s crazy. Once you be able to, once you’re able to like literally control, wield your power, it’s. I just feel like it’s your brain is actually able to do more than other people.

I can’t explain it, but yes, sometimes my

Christa Innis: husband’s like, like, I’ll like bring up something else I’m working on. And he’s like, aren’t you already doing this? And I’m like, I don’t even know what just happened. Like, I just get outta the, I full disclosure. Right. Right now we have a, we have a two bedroom, so I work from, I’m in my closet.

Fun fact. So we gotta make spaces work. Um, and so I will come out of our room and I’m like, I just, I just got so much done and like I’ll like show him. He’s like, how did you do that? And I’m like, I focus mode, but if I don’t have a plan and I waste like a couple hours, I’m like so hard on myself. I’m like, what?

Kati Kons: Yeah. I feel like it’s like, I don’t know if, if I’m on, I can like do more than most people and if I am just like, uh, so not focused. I like waste so much time. It’s so terrible. But yeah, I feel something. Um, what was your,

Reshaping Non-Traditional Wedding Fashion

what I, did I have to introduce?

Christa Innis: Yeah. So. So talk about portrait of a bride on Fire. How you got started, how you got into it.

Yeah, how I got started.

Kati Kons: Okay. Um, well, I got started because I got engaged and I identify as like somewhere in between, like female and non-binary. It just kind of depends on the moment. Um, and not like I wake up one day and I’m non-binary and I wake up one day and I’m a woman. It’s just like I don’t care to do the soul searching is the moment, I guess.

Uh, like, yeah. And so, but I, but in my day to day, I love wearing dresses and skirts, so when I got engaged I was like really, really into like wedding dresses and I got really into like the whole wedding fashion scene. But what became super apparent to me was like, there is. Nothing outside of wedding dresses for anyone outside of white wedding dresses for anyone that was non-traditional at all.

Right?

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Kati Kons: And there were just no options. None. And the thing is, all the wedding dresses were the same too. There were like 10 different styles and there were like 10 variations of those 10 styles and that’s it. And there were not even non-traditional white wedding dresses. It was so crazy to me.

’cause like to find the non-traditional white wedding dresses, they were like, I don’t know, like on Etsy that you had to order mm-hmm. From across the earth, like you couldn’t try them on. It’s just so weird. It was such a weird thing to me. Anyways, I got really frustrated because there were no like even pants or jumpsuits at the wedding shops in town, and.

Suit shops were obviously only for people who were like strictly traditional men. And there was like nothing in between and there was no color anywhere mostly. And it was just like nothing. And so I started like kind of, I wanted to get into like what I loved the wedding dress situation. And I just started learning about wedding dresses a lot.

But I wanted, I started posting on TikTok because I started to get into like content creation at the time. Um, and so I kind of started, um, wanting to help people find their non-traditional wedding attire. And so that’s kind of how I got into it, is like I got into it myself and then I got into wanting to help people ’cause I realized that they didn’t have it.

Um, you know, they didn’t have a means of finding it. And also there wasn’t a lot of it, so that made it. Twice as hard. Um mm-hmm. And so that’s how I started is I started in like wedding fashion and now I do like wedding fashion styling. So I help you throughout the journey of finding your wedding attire and also styling the accessories and all the little details of your wedding outfit.

And then I also do personal styling on the side, and I do some like. Like red carpet styling, event styling as well, just like to a much smaller scale than um, the other two things. Mm-hmm. Um, and yeah, I do kind of a lot of things because I just kind of take on things that I wanna do and I don’t, and I only, I don’t really say no unless I really don’t wanna do it.

So,

Christa Innis: yeah. When you say non-traditional wedding dress, and you’re talking about like jumpsuits, I, I remember. When I was engaged and I was like starting to plan into my wedding, I, um, I’m a, my friends all know me. Like when I was a bridesmaid, I was like, the jump, I love a good jumpsuit. Like, so for like three weddings I was in, I wore a jumpsuit.

Good. Because they like looked like kind of dresses. So it like, looked like uniform, especially like a palazzo pant or something where the wide leg was like flowy. Yes. I loved it. It was so, and then you’re on the dance floor and you’re like, I can do my thing. Like, you know, you can do the splits, you can do whatever you want.

Yeah. If I wanted to learn how to do the splits that night, I would be okay. But yeah, it was just like, so I loved, but I remember seeing a lot of the bridal jumpsuits starting to come out more and more. I wore one to my rehearsal dinner, but not the actual wedding.

Queer Wedding Fashion Beyond the Binary

So when you say untraditional wedding dress, what kind of, like, are you looking for personally or like, do you look for like for brides or couples getting married, um, that, that come to you for that kind of unique look?

Kati Kons: Yeah. So I feel like, um. I, the reason I say I’m like a queer wedding fashion stylist is because there’s like no one that tailors their services to the queer community. And I don’t want to be exclusive of other non-traditional people that want these kinds of services, but I know that there’s no one else that, that actually tailors their services to the queer community.

And I think that’s important, especially in pride month and like this time, day and age, when like queer people are like just being targeted left and right, right? Mm-hmm. So, but uh, to take a step back, I think like the attire that is non-traditional is more like the drama of a dress, but like the comfort of pants, right?

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Kati Kons: Mm-hmm. And like. Like you just described, a jumpsuit is like gonna give you the mobility and the freedom to do what you want when, but you get the, like, the prettiness of make a dress, you know, Uhhuh. Um, and I think a lot of people when they come to me is they’re like, I want the drama moment of a dress, meaning I want a train, meaning I want the details and I want the, like, I want the like princess or prince or something where it’s like, I want the grandeur of like that.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. But

Kati Kons: I don’t, but I don’t want to be in that level of femininity of a dress.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Because

Kati Kons: they feel secure in pants.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I love, and I think

Kati Kons: a lot more people do feel secure in pants than dresses.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Kati Kons: Yeah. But like suits are just like out of the f*cking question for a lot of people, so, you know.

Yes, yes. Especially ’cause like the there the options for like suits or like. Traditional man suits, which are like, you know, f*cking boxy as sh*t. And then there’s like women’s suits, which are like business suits that you wear to like corporate events. You know, there’s not like a, what does it feel like?

And then there’s like the other accessible suits you find out like fast fashion places, you know, there’s no like good accessible suits for women that are like quality sh*t that you can just find. Yeah. I don’t know, like where would you even look for that? I’m like, off the top of my head, I don’t even have an answer.

And I’m a fashion stylist that makes me so angry.

Redefining the Wedding Experience

Christa Innis: Do you ever like want to like work with a designer and like design like your own? I don’t know. I feel like you have such an eye for that stuff where you could like design. I do that for some

Kati Kons: clients.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Kati Kons: Some clients look for custom options. And I do work with designers to design custom attire when they have the budget for it.

It’s just way more expensive. Of course. So I

Christa Innis: bet. Yeah. Yeah.

Kati Kons: I love, I love that because it’s like really, really fun to go through the whole beginning to end process of being like, let’s formulate your vision. And like what’s so fun is being like being able to see where someone has a vision and being able to be like, okay, but we can make it so much cooler than that.

Like, yeah, so much cooler than what you have seen on these random Pinterest boards that are just like probably so limited. Mm-hmm. And like, let me show you some even cooler stuff. You know what I mean? Like Yeah, like let’s show you some stuff and then like, let’s draw and like, let’s do all this stuff with the designer.

Like it is so cool to watch everything develop and I’m not a designer so I can’t, like, I can’t sketch and I can’t, you know, make garments. But like seeing that chick from beginning to end is the coolest thing in the world. And then me being able to like. Pick out their shoes and like walk them through their hair and makeup and accessory.

Oh my God. It’s such a fun, it’s such a fun moment. Like putting together. Yeah. Okay. So

Christa Innis: you mentioned you just got married two weeks ago. Mm-hmm. Congratulations. So Thank you. When it came to planning or putting together your own wedding mm-hmm. Like what were things that were the bat you were like, this is what we want, and what were some things that you were like, we no, we’re definitely not doing that.

And you said no wedding party. Yeah, yeah. Sorry.

Kati Kons: Um, so we, uh, as young queer people, we were non-traditional in nature and we said, no florals. We did not spend any money on florals. And my, we did spend a lot of money on a photographer. Um, and my photographer is Lindsay Michelle in Boston, and she is amazing. Um, but I knew her way before because of what I do.

I knew her way before our wedding and she knows me well. So she was like, I need you to get a personal floral because I need you to have something in your hand. I need you to have a hand accessory. You’re gonna thank me later because she knows me. She knows I’m gonna want the whole look, right. Mm-hmm. I’m gonna want my whole look to be done.

And I was like, you’re right. I’m gonna want not a flo, a personal floral, I’m gonna want a purse. And so I got a purse with flowers in it. Oh, cute. Yeah. But we didn’t get any florals. And the other things that we did differently is. We did it in our apartment.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Kati Kons: We walked in together, no bridal party, uh, ceremony.

And then

we didn’t do like a, a dance situation. We just went to dinner afterwards. I love that. Yeah. It was pretty like chill and laid back. It was really nice.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. I love when you go in like on the same page, knowing what you want. ’cause I think so many times couples get caught up with like, unsolicited advice coming in of like, you need this, do this.

And then you end up having this day where you don’t even enjoy it ’cause you’re like, I’m doing this for everybody else. Not yes. For us.

Kati Kons: And I think that’s tremendously challenging, but also I am, I said this to my partner, I don’t know if you can, uh uh. Like, if you relate to this, but I’m so lucky that I didn’t have a childhood dream of a wedding because I didn’t have to deal with any expectation around what I thought my wedding would look like.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Kati Kons: Uh, and I just feel as if a lot of people, especially a lot of young women, grow up with a dream of what their wedding would look like and like when you get to be in adulthood in terms of like finances and in terms of just like where you are in life and execution and, and so many different things.

Mm-hmm. It just like can turn out so different and I just, like, sometimes it’s a good thing and sometimes it’s not. And like, I’m just so glad I didn’t have any expectation because I had the best f*cking day in the world, you know? I love that. Yeah. And so

Christa Innis: I just,

Kati Kons: I’m so glad I

Christa Innis: had no expectations. That’s such like good advice too.

And I’m so glad you said that because a lot of people probably don’t know this. ’cause I don’t even know if I’ve said it before, but, and then I find it surprising ’cause I have a wedding podcast or mostly like wedding content. But I was never the girl that was like, I can’t wait to get, be a bride. I can’t wait to have my wedding.

I never visualized it either. And I don’t think it was until like, being in a bunch of weddings and then like, I met my husband and like, you know, at that time we, like, we were engaged for like a hundred years. So like, we were like, kind of like knew what things we wanted and didn’t want. And so I feel like, yeah, it was just like a way different, I didn’t want the big ballroom.

Mm-hmm. I didn’t want the big Cinderella dress. I, that just wasn’t my thing. Yeah. And my parents were also ones to, they never like pressured and were like, oh, when you get married, when you do this, like, they were just never like that. And I, I’m glad because I wasn’t like, oh, I’m gonna be a princess on my day.

And I was just, I just. Never had that vision. And I remember even my makeup artist being like, you’re like the most relaxed bride I’ve ever done makeup for. And I was like, well, I figure at this point everything’s done. If something goes wrong, like we’re all here, like, yeah, have a good time. Like what am I to worry about?

Kati Kons: We always wanted, we always wanted was like we, we didn’t want the like, big event situation, but we did want is like a smaller micro wedding, like around 50 people or less. Um, but we wanted to have everyone there for like a weekend, like wherever we did, just so like we had people there for longer. So it was like a longer experience, but like a smaller amount of people so that I wasn’t like super.

Overwhelming, but that we had more time to spend so that we could like, you know, um, have a lot more experience, which I feel like is now becoming more of a thing with like, welcome parties and brunch afterwards and like, which I totally get because I think it’s so fun to spend a whole weekend with your people.

Especially, it’s like the one time everyone’s in town for you, it’s like mm-hmm. You might as well make it worth it, you know?

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Kati Kons: People are

Christa Innis: flying in or driving in, like have like different things set up or like plan to like hang out. I think

Kati Kons: it’s so worth it. I, and I think like a week long might be a little extra, but I’m like, at least making it a weekend I feel like would be so fun.

Christa Innis: Yeah,

Kati Kons: it works fun, at least for us, so

Christa Innis: yeah. I love that. Okay, let’s get into, because I know we’re kind of, we’re running on our A DH ADHD time in a longer time. No. Um, okay. Let’s get, if you don’t, I hope you

Kati Kons: don’t have a, I hope you don’t have a 6:00 PM Um, no, I don’t. Okay, good. Okay. I’m good. We’re, we’re good?

We’re good. Let’s go.

Christa Innis: Just have my family where they’re fine. Okay. Rapid fire. This is just pick one or the other, whether it’s your own, I don’t know, as a, I don’t know why I’m like introducing it. Just rapid fire. Let’s just pick one. Okay. Okay. Classic ballroom wedding or outdoor garden party.

Kati Kons: Outdoor garden party.

Christa Innis: Minimalist. Chic or bold and colorful.

Kati Kons: Bold and colorful.

Christa Innis: Veil or no veil?

Kati Kons: No veil.

Christa Innis: Custom gown or off the rack.

Kati Kons: Oh sh*t.

Is this for me or a client? Either, I mean,

Christa Innis: just in general, I guess, custom gown, uh, one photographer or photography and video package, one photographer first look photos or traditional aisle reveal. First look match your wedding style or your to your home aesthetic. Yes or no? Yes. Bridesmaids. Same dress.

Different dress or totally mismatched. Mismatched statement. Shoes or statement earrings.

Kati Kons: Statement, shoes.

Christa Innis: And then what’s one style trend that you wish couples would leave behind? Like, or just, or just any trend. You’re just like sick of seeing. Oh. Um, not to put you

Kati Kons: on the spot,

I know this one’s supposed to be rapid fire and I feel like I’m blanking now. It’s okay if you don’t have one too. I feel like I don’t, which is pretty wild, but I definitely do. I’m just blanking.

Christa Innis: No, no, it’s all good. If I think

Kati Kons: about it later, we’ll bring it up.

Christa Innis: Yeah, yeah. Okay. Awesome. Um, I think, well, I feel like we talked a lot of that about the wedding hot takes as we were kind of just talking.

What does Steven earrings at weddings?

Kati Kons: I’m still, I think that’s why I am blocked is because I am literally no one wears statement earrings at weddings.

Christa Innis: Okay. This might be a dumb question. What is a statement earring? Just like a big, bold earring. Mm-hmm. Like as, like,

Kati Kons: I’m just thinking of like a statement necklace where they’re just like, chunky.

What’s a statement? Yeah. But like statement earing is like, is like Yeah. Really wild and big and people don’t really do that at weddings. Yeah. I,

I don’t know. It’s true. People don’t really wear necklaces at all at weddings anymore, though.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I wear like the mo I wore like the most simple, I I wore my mom’s. They do.

Kati Kons: It’s like a, it’s a very simple thing. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Because it’s like you’re wearing this like beautiful gown or whatever you’re wearing that you want most, most of the attention on.

Kati Kons: What’s the style thing that people should be, should leave it home. I feel like the answer is so many things, honestly.

Christa Innis: You said no veil quickly. Do you think veils are outdated?

Kati Kons: Well, like j in like the theory of it? Yeah, but like, oh yeah. Like, yeah, just like a garter, like in theory. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Like it’s disgusting in theory, but it’s like, I mean, it’s like cute. I mean, like, you should not have, if you, even if you have a garter, you shouldn’t do a garter toss. Like that’s disgusting. You know what I mean? But like a garter’s kind of cutie if you have the right dress.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I just did one for a photo.

I don’t even know if they took a photo of it now. They might have just done it with like everything. Yeah. And veil was one thing. I was like, I’m not doing a veil. I don’t wanna a veil. But then I ended up up finding one for like down the aisle. I did not cover my face or anything. Yeah.

Kati Kons: But I was just like, it’s a very, very religious thing.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Kati Kons: And like, that’s, that’s fine. I just feel like if you’re gonna honor that tradition, honor that tradition. But if you’re like just wearing one to wear one, I just feel like we need to separate, I feel like we need to honor the tradition if we’re gonna wear a veil. I feel like we need to not be so nonchalant about wearing veils,

Christa Innis: in my opinion.

Kati Kons: Okay. Um, but I feel like there, I feel like I do have a very hot take about. Styles for weddings. Leave the white at home maybe. Um, I literally wore white to my wedding. Um, I don’t know.

Christa Innis: You Oh, like, you think like No. What? No. White at weddings.

Kati Kons: I just feel like it’s kind of, I would love to step away from it.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Kati Kons: Um, I don’t hate it. I just would love to step away from it. Do you ever

Christa Innis: consider wearing another color at your wedding?

Kati Kons: Yeah. Yeah. I just didn’t because, um, I didn’t wanna be too different from my partner and she wanted to, so I was like, I’m not gonna like, fight too much about it. Yeah. And I know that she, like, I wanted her to be super comfortable so I wasn’t gonna like, make it a thing, you know?

Right. I get that.

Christa Innis: Yeah. No, I’ve seen gorgeous black wedding dresses, never in person. I’ve just seen them on weddings and I was like, I love the look of that.

Kati Kons: Oh yeah. Well, we were both open to wearing either black or white, but. We found her dress that was in white first, and so we were like, okay, we’ll do that.

Christa Innis: Go along with the theme. I love it. Yeah. All right. Let’s get into this week’s wedding submission. So people send me these stories. I have not read it yet, so I don’t know what’s gonna happen and We’ll, please, I just

Why Dress Codes Need a Makeover

Kati Kons: thought of my thing. Can I tell you everything?

Christa Innis: Oh, yeah, please do.

Kati Kons: This is actually a long more of a long answer.

Um, this is not a rapid fire answer, and that’s probably why I didn’t think of it right away. Um, I have a hot take though in terms of a style thing that, okay. I leave at home. Um, and it’s just that I think formal attire, my definition of formal attire differs from the average person. Mm-hmm. But specifically at weddings.

Christa Innis: Okay.

Kati Kons: Uh, in that, like our wedding, our like dress codes at wedding, be it the guest dress code or just like what we were to, weddings in general needs to stay at home in general. Like we need to, those need to go die, um, because like they need to go to jail, like whatever, because they are so obnoxious and limiting for queer people specifically, or like any type of non-traditional person trying to feel themselves because like, how are you trying, how are you going to express yourself in a way that is outside of the social norm?

If you’re like not fitting into traditional standards of formal attire, if it’s not like a suit or a dress, right? Because if you think about it this way, people who don’t fit into the standard norms of traditional attire, suit or dress, if you’re a celebrity, all you do is wear something super chic, high-end fashion.

Maybe it’s a t-shirt and shorts, but it’s Balenciaga, and you still walk the runway and you still look chic as f*ck, and you’re still slaying. And that’s great because your name is Billie Eilish and it’s branded and it’s really cool, you know? Mm-hmm. And like, that’s awesome. But why do, why can you do that on the red carpet and not at a wedding?

Christa Innis: Hmm. Why

Kati Kons: are our, like, why is the decorum for a red carpet moment so different than the decorum at someone’s wedding? And I understand that the marketing moment is a little bit different than someone else’s wedding, but why is the formality of a red carpet event, which should be the most formal event. So different than the decorum of someone’s wedding, which should be your average Joe’s most formal event in your lifetime.

Right? So why does a celebrity’s red carpet like event have a different definition for formal than our, our average person’s definition Of formal? Because for queer people being something other than suit and dress is not acceptable. In our definitions of formal attire, there is no like, I’m gonna wear something outside of those norms that fits into formal, semi-formal black tie.

There’s nothing that fits into that. Experimenting into, into different things doesn’t fit into those categories because it’s not socially acceptable. Socially acceptable is what fits into those categories. Mm-hmm. And like there’s no way to like experiment with new things with those dress codes. It just doesn’t work.

Yeah. And so I’m like, my whole like goal, my purpose is to like try to change the definition to like align more with like the red carpet definition where like if you’re mo most comfortable in a t-shirt and shorts, like great, let’s f*cking elevate that. So it’s a red carpet t-shirt and shorts, you know what I mean?

Mm-hmm. Like, let’s get you a t-shirt. I know a lot of high-end t-shirt and shorts and it’ll look high-end as well. It’s not like it’s gonna look like Adam Sandler, like it’ll look high-end, you know what I mean? Like, uh. It’s like there are existing really, really nice and really, really cool embellishments on t-shirts and shorts.

So it’s like, we’ll get you there. But like, why isn’t that acceptable for a wedding? It wouldn’t be today, you know?

Christa Innis: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ve never, so I’ve never been to a wedding where it’s like very specific, like, wear this. But I’ve seen more and more people do it where they’re like, only wear these three colors, or only wear this style of clothing.

And yeah, that’s, I feel like that’s, it’s a bit much sometimes like as the, like we’re talking to the planner, as the planner in me, sometimes I’m like, okay, here’s the vibe we’re going for. ’cause have you ever gone like invited to something and you’re like. What’s the, like, where are we getting married at?

What’s the style? Mm-hmm. Like, and you’re like, do I wear a formal dress? Do I wear a cocktail style dress? Am I wearing my jumpsuit? You know, that kind of thing. So I like some guidelines, but yeah, you’re, you make a really good point. No, direction is totally helpful.

Kati Kons: Mm-hmm. Like we talked about that with the wedding party.

It’s definitely true for the guests as well because like, I dunno, you don’t wanna, you don’t wanna be like the one that’s sticking out Yeah. At someone else’s wedding. Um, but like, you also, as a queer person, especially going to like a hetero wedding as a queer person, you don’t wanna stick out too much and like, you wanna also be yourself at the same time.

Christa Innis: Hmm. It’s

Kati Kons: like a really hard balance. Um, and like, I don’t know, I just feel like a lot of queer people have a hard time with formal attire and like weddings are just like one of the hardest places to be, I think. Um. Mm-hmm. Yeah, because like a lot of the options for like androgynous attire, I think are too adventurous for like a cape or like a, a scarf around your neck I feel like would be too flamboyant.

Um, because like if I said gender neutral, you, like, most people would think masculine, right? Yeah, that’s true. Um, ’cause like gender neutral in my head means like gender fluid or androgynous or something that’s like a mix of both. Um, but like that would mean it has to be somewhat feminine. Right? And most people would think it, it means like a suit, like masculine, something that’s like at least neutral and masculine.

So it’s acceptable to everyone, you know?

Christa Innis: I never thought about that. You’re right. Yeah. Yeah. Gender neutral. And so it’s like more masculine.

Kati Kons: Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: And

Kati Kons: so it’s like. It’s really challenging to find something that is actually androgynous or like gender neutral or something that’s like acceptable for people to feel comfortable in, because that is oftentimes not the expectation of everyone else.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Kati Kons: Yeah. It’s really hard. Um, but the only reason I say that is because I feel like there’s a lot of, like people whose expectations about formal attire are very different from like, um, queer people whose expectations for formal attire are like very different. Yeah. I just feel like we need to all dress ourselves in a way that makes us happy and walk away and that’s it.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Kati Kons: I feel like, like we, somebody said to me once on TikTok, somebody said to me once on TikTok, I posted a video, I. They said what looks like non-traditional formula attire to you for someone’s wedding. And I posted a bunch of pictures that were of the wedding, the designer that designed my wedding attire and I love her.

Her name is Ophelia. She’s great. One of the pictures was of like a sheer silk organ organza hoodie, and it was a mini dress, a hoodie, mini dress. It was gorgeous. And it was like, like again, like silk organ organza, oversized hoodie. Like really cool. And they were like draw or uh, I’m sorry, draw strings.

Draw strings. Like on a hoodie.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Kati Kons: Are not, have no place in formal at tire. Why is that there? And I was like. Like you’re really telling me something like silk organza has no like place in formal attire. Like you have no idea what you’re talking about. You know what I mean? Right. This person like literally has no idea what they’re talking about, but like we are so twisted in what we think formal attire means and our like understanding of like suit and dress is all rooted in like white supremacy and patriarchy.

It’s so terrible. So it’s like something we really need to shift our understanding into.

Christa Innis: Mm,

Kati Kons: sorry. That was a, that was a rant, but it felt like that needed to be said.

Christa Innis: No, I loved it. I love, I love the hot takes. I love, ’cause I feel like it opens up good discussion for, you know, people listening too to be like, wait, I never thought about it that way.

Or, you know, I think you’re, I think you’re right about, you know, the weddings in general or events in general put a lot of pressure on people to fit a certain mold and, and there’s like expectations of like how to look, how to dress. And, um, and I feel like as a, you know, as a queer stylist, you’re sharing so much more from your perspective and what you see personally, and I think that brings a whole new, uh, whole new take on it.

No, I, I’m, I appreciate, I see.

Kati Kons: I’ll say one more thing about queer weddings versus hetero weddings. You see, you know, when people try to, uh, theme their weddings sometimes mm-hmm. Or themes or, oh, theme Yes. Dress codes

Christa Innis: mm-hmm. Or

Kati Kons: stuff like that. Um, the theme upstage the bride, um, more often you see that at queer weddings.

I don’t know why.

Christa Innis: Mm. That’s interesting. Yeah. I actually saw like a viral post about upstage the bride, and I loved it. And that was the first time I had seen it.

Kati Kons: I like, love that so much.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Do you think it like. I think about that. Yeah. I wonder if it’s like, it runs in because it’s like the traditional, like, you know, like hetero wedding, it’s like the traditional, like bride is the queen star of the

Kati Kons: show.

I don’t know. We talked about our dress code being like Met Gala themed for a long time. Uh, just so that everyone popped the f*ck off. Um, ’cause we wanted something like that. Uh, and then we realized we didn’t want people spending a ton of money, uh, just on the retirement. Yeah. Um, so we did do that. But, um, I don’t know.

I don’t know. I don’t know what it is, but I don’t know what it is about like the traditional culture that like does that, but it’s interesting.

Christa Innis: Yeah, because I’ve even heard people say like, don’t wear, oh, like. Bright red dress to my wedding dress. Yes. Where is this and where does that come from? I don’t know.

And see, I’m someone where I’m like, I don’t care What? I didn’t care what people wore in my wedding. One of my closest friends wore a bright, like a hot pink dress and looked amazing on her. I had five people wear hot pink to my wedding. Yes. It was like, good,

Kati Kons: thank

Christa Innis: you. You look great. Yeah. Someone could have showed up at White.

White in my wedding too, and I would not have cared. I’m not that. My

Kati Kons: sister had like a white cardigan and she was like, I didn’t wanna outshine you. And I said, honey, no one’s outshining me today. I was like, are you kidding? Not worried. Are you kidding? And she was like, she was like, did you really just say that?

And I was like, do you really think you’re outshining me today?

Whose Day Is It Anyway?

Christa Innis: I feel like I’m not, I’m not worried in the slightest. Yeah. Yeah. I just feel like it’s like let people be themselves. I mean. I don’t know. I was not the least of my concerns of what people were wearing to my wedding. Yeah. I didn’t really care.

Okay. Let’s get into this story thing. Yeah. We’ll just react as it as we read it. Um, or I’ll just, we’ll just kind of stop and share our thoughts. Okay. Here we go. My older brother got engaged six months after I did, which annoyed my mother a bit. She would have preferred my wedding to happen first, but it didn’t bother me.

I was close to my brother and happy for him. He’d only been dating his girlfriend for a short time compared to me and my now husband who’d been together for years. My brother said, wait,

Kati Kons: wait, stop.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Kati Kons: He got engaged six months after she got engaged, or six months after she got married, I’m

Christa Innis: guessing, after she got engaged.

Kati Kons: Okay. So what’s the problem? Because the mom got upset.

Christa Innis: I think it’s like the mom thing of like, yeah. I get so many stories sent to me where parents or siblings get mad if like they’re not engaged or married first.

Kati Kons: That’s weird.

Christa Innis: It’s weird. And it’s like this rivalry or like sister-in-laws if like the younger one gets engaged first or married.

Yeah. There’s like so many stories like that. So like she doesn’t care, but it’s like the mom seems like annoyed by it.

Kati Kons: Okay. Okay.

Christa Innis: Weird. Okay. Sorry. Continue. Yeah. No, you’re good. Um, my brother set his wedding date for exactly one year after mine. I was pregnant at at his wedding due just a few weeks after the big day.

It was very warm day, which isn’t ideal when you’re heavily pregnant. My sister-in-law had booked their wedding in a local church right after a large parish event. The car park parking lot was packed when we arrived. And we are, we were nearly reversed into, oh my gosh, my reading skills. Here we go. Let’s try this again.

The car parking lot was packed when we arrived and we were nearly reversing into, oh my gosh, why is this? Just pretend like that didn’t happen. Okay. The car parking lot was packed when we arrived and we were nearly reversed into, on my side of the car. Not a great start. Then the bridal car broke down, so everything started late, which would obviously stress out even the calmest bride.

Before the wedding, my brother asked if we could make it to family photos, which were scheduled in a location that was out of our way, not because the church and the not between the church and the reception. I asked if they could take family photos at the church and do bridal party photos at the other location, but they said no.

So after the ceremony, which was only 10 minutes from my house, we went home so I could briefly rest and eat by that stage. I was very warm and very tired having been up early. Then my sister calls in a panic asking where we were saying that the photos were starting and we needed to hurry. We were 25 minutes away from the photo location.

Everything was running late due to the ceremony’s delay. We rushed there wondering why they couldn’t take photos. In the meantime, they were waiting on the bride’s, two brothers who were notoriously late. When we finally got to the wedding, uh, to take photos, my husband wasn’t the main, wasn’t in the main sibling shot, as in it was just my brother and his siblings.

After that, the bride approached my husband and complained that we were late saying it wouldn’t have happened at our wedding. I could see the anger in my husband’s face, but I didn’t know what was wrong until I, he told me later I was livid. It sounds like a lot of like, again, like the communication and just like people.

Wanting it their own way. Uh, for the rest of the day. I kept my distance from them and honestly, it ruined the day for the side of the family. For comparison, my own ceremony had been just five minutes from where we took family photos and the reception was only 20 minutes away. All minimal travel and on the same route.

Also, no one at my family was heavily pregnant. Her own sister was,

you can’t help that girl. I’m sorry. Uh, sorry. Can’t I, people get, um, or have gotten on me before when I like critique the story a little bit, but it sounds like she’s wanting to be catered to.

Kati Kons: A little bit, uh, a little bit. If,

Christa Innis: if they found a setting they really like for photos on their wedding day, they should be able to have it.

Kati Kons: Uh, and yes, her comparing the, um, the route being only five minutes away, like, I don’t know, we literally walked a mile from our apartment to the national Mall to go like, get food. And that’s like a 20 minute walk. Like, and we just did that for Fonzie.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Kati Kons: Like it’s, I dunno. And it was, it was cool and it was fine.

If it was 30 minute walk, we probably still would’ve done it. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Like, here’s the thing, like I, it sounds like a lot of people like were late and maybe, maybe they also got yelled at, you don’t know, right. Maybe you shouldn’t have gotten yelled at, but.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I mean, yeah, I’m sure. I mean, I’ve, I wasn’t maid of honor pregnant at a wedding.

I don’t, I wasn’t, I wouldn’t say heavily. I was like, well, I was, I was seven months, so I was pretty big. But like, I wouldn’t never have expected them to cater things to me, and I, I

Kati Kons: didn’t, yeah, that part of the story was kind of wild when she was like, I called to see if they could do photos at a different location.

Yeah. I was like, changed. I, I literally, I was like, was I supposed to react to that? ’cause I was like,

Christa Innis: I know. I was like waiting for the punchline. And I’m like, I’m not trying to come out hard on this ride, but like. Like we, the wedding I was in was like in December, we’re talking Chica, like this was downtown Chicago.

Cold. Yeah, cold. We’re outside. I’m not gonna be like, you know what? I’m pregnant. I’d rather not be outside right now. ’cause No, you just skip the photos. You’re not in ’em If you just skip it, just skip it. Yeah. It’s not, not, you’re just not

Kati Kons: in ’em. And like you say, sorry, I just can’t do it today. I’m pregnant as f*ck.

And like you walk away and like they do their thing and you do yours and that kind of sucks. But it is what it is. But you know.

Christa Innis: Yeah. We can’t, we can’t have our own expectations for other people’s weddings.

Kati Kons: No, no, no, no. That’s where you

Christa Innis: start getting irritated because it’s like. Let them have their day.

If you don’t agree with it, you don’t have to be a part of certain

Kati Kons: No. And I think that conversation probably should have happened before even she asked, can you move the pictures? Because if the bride was like, I’m so heartbroken that you couldn’t be here, let’s move the photos for you. That should have been a ball in her court decision rather than a I’m gonna ask you to move them,

Christa Innis: you know?

Yeah, a hundred percent. Yeah. Oh my

Kati Kons: God.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Okay, so this says her own sister was heavily pregnant at her wedding too, so she should have understood, but it doesn’t seem like there’s a problem with the sister.

Kati Kons: I thought she said no one was heavily pregnant at her wedding,

Christa Innis: um, at her own wedding. So this is at her brother’s wedding.

Kati Kons: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: And she said, so no one was pregnant at her wedding.

Kati Kons: Okay.

Christa Innis: But at this wedding, she’s pregnant as well as the bride sister. She couldn’t stand.

Um, a few days later when my brother and his now wife stopped by my mother’s house, she said to me when my brother was out of earshot that she should have had a word with me about everything. My mom shut that down and said she absolutely would not say anything to upset me, especially just weeks before I was due to give birth.

I mean, saying you’re gonna have a word with someone sounds very like, like, I don’t know, like older, like I’m gonna have a word with you. I don’t know. That sounds like someone trying to like, put you down. Like I feel like they maybe should communicate, but to say you’re gonna have a word with someone, I don’t know.

Um, I’d gone outta my way. Oh see, I’m already reading like, okay, this bride just want, or not bride. The sister wants to complain and I hate that it’s coming from the person that sent the story. ’cause it’s normally not. This way, but I feel like she feels like she was owed something. It says I’d gone out of my way to attend her bachelorette party, even though her own sister who was pregnant didn’t feel up to it.

So like she feel like, feels like she deserves a pat on the back, but I’m like, you didn’t have to go if you feel like she owed you. Um, and I was further along than she was the whole situation. Yeah. That

Kati Kons: doesn’t, yeah, girl, she could have been having like health issues with her pregnancy, right? Like you don’t know.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And it’s not like, well I did this for you, so you should move your photo shoot. That’s the thing

Kati Kons: is love is not transactional. Yes, yes.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Kati Kons: And if it feels transactional, then don’t go

Christa Innis: right. I feel like we see that so many times, like especially with weddings. Yeah. People think if I do this for you, then you owe me.

It’s like the parents paying for the wedding, you know, you hear so many, they’re like, well, I’m paying for it so I can invite my college friend who I, you’ve never met. It’s like,

Kati Kons: yeah, it’s how it works. I will actually, I’ll say a hot take on here. One of my best friends from high school, um, didn’t come to my wedding.

Um, she moved to Italy, uh, like five or six months ago. Okay. Um, to be with her fiance who like lives there. Um, and so he’s like from there and she just like couldn’t, she started a new job recently and she just like couldn’t make it back for the wedding. Like, I mean, very reasonable. Yeah. Um, and is also planning her wedding for September and like she liked to, didn’t confront me or tell me that she couldn’t make it.

She just like, a couple days before the wedding was like, I’m so sorry, I can’t come. And I was like, I wish you would’ve told me sooner.

Christa Innis: Oh yeah. And

Kati Kons: I was like, that sucks. ’cause I just like didn’t know. And I asked her a few times and she just like wouldn’t respond. And I was like, I wish she wouldn’t have ghosted me about it.

Yes. But like, that’s the problem is, and now I’m like, expected to go to her wedding in Spain in the fall. Um, but I’m gonna go, and I thought about this for so long because I was like, oh, I’m kind of upset that she did that. But I’m also like, she probably just like, feels bad and didn’t know how to handle it.

And like, like I just said, it’s not about transactional. Like, I’m not just not gonna go because she just like couldn’t come to mind.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Kati Kons: And she would’ve, but she could’ve, you know?

Christa Innis: Right. You’re such a good friend. No, I feel like, no, that’s. That’s really hard to pull yourself out of and be like, okay, would I not go because she did this?

Or, you know, because this happened, or it feels

Kati Kons: so sh*tty of me, right. To just not go to her wedding, you know? Yeah. That feels like so dumb. And I feel like, I don’t know, I feel so

Christa Innis: good. I, I catch that so many times with people and I think we do it like, and I’ve done it too, being like, oh, they didn’t come to this.

And it’s like, well wait, it’s not, they didn’t come to this, so I go to that or don’t go to that. It’s kind. I go to it and do I want to go to it? Like, yeah. And I

Kati Kons: do wanna go. Yeah. I’m like, even if she couldn’t be here, even if she could have handled it better, I’m like, she still like my friend, I still love her.

I like flew to Italy and I picked out her f*cking wedding dress. I wanna be there. I wanna see it on her. You know?

Christa Innis: Oh, that’s amazing.

Kati Kons: Yeah. So I’m like, that was kind of weird. And I forgive her and I haven’t talked to her. She actually sent me a gift. I should open it. But anyways.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, anyways, yeah. But RSVPs are important.

Like I, I. Hate

Kati Kons: response. I hate, yeah. Rss. VP people. Yes.

Christa Innis: I hate when like, you have to reach out to people and be like, Hey, I haven’t heard from you. Or when people give you a maybe or like, they’re just like, we, we had, we had that, we didn’t have to deal with it too much. But I’ve heard of that. That happens all the time where people just, it slips their mind or they’re like, oh, maybe like, I’ll get off work.

Or, you know, little things like that where they just kinda like keep you on on a tentative, I guess.

Kati Kons: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, it says the whole thing caused friction between me and my brother. And we had always gotten along well, honestly, I think she was just, oh, just jealous that we got married first and that I was pregnant at her wedding as if I was stealing her limelight.

I don’t, I hate that. I just, girl, I don’t

Kati Kons: know if that’s the case.

Christa Innis: I

Kati Kons: know. That makes me so

Christa Innis: sad. I know. ’cause I normally. I wouldn’t say side. I don’t wanna, I don’t pick sides, it’s just when I read it, I just respond, right? Mm-hmm. I’d say most of the time when whoever sends it to me, like they witness whatever happens, and I’m like, oh my gosh, that’s terrible.

This is the first time. I’m like, no, I think you’re reading. And is

Kati Kons: this really the first time that this has happened to you?

Christa Innis: Like this bad? I would say yeah. There’s been a few times, I shouldn’t say bad, but there’s been a few times, like I’ve done like YouTube readings of stories. Yeah. I like say like, I come hard on the bride a little bit, and I’m like, Ooh, but this didn’t happen.

Or you assumed that she was doing this. And the people in the comments are like, you’re coming up on this, coming hard on this bride. I’m like, well, I’m just trying to be levelheaded

Kati Kons: if I can. No, it, it felt, I don’t know. Changing the, changing the location of the pictures was wild to me because like, can you imagine if you were the planner?

Yeah. I’m expecting that they didn’t have a planner. The fact that she called to ask to move, I, they probably didn’t have a planner. Right. Right. ’cause can you imagine the planner’s f*cking face when she says your sister wants to move the location?

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my God, she’s pregnant. Like, what? What? Um, that’s bonkers to me.

That is wild. I would never ask a bride to change a location no matter who I want. Change the logistics of your day, of your whole wedding day. And we’re talking 20 minutes. It’s not like an hour away. No, no, no. And even so, you don’t have to go. I know, like for one of my friend’s weddings, we, downtown Chicago, we took buses all around the city and we just took Yeah.

Pictures in different places. And that was like a, and I think, I wanna say she had a couple pregnant bridesmaids and mm-hmm. There was food and drink on the bus. Like, we were fine. She took care of us. I would never be like, Hey, you know what, can you, that’s wild because remember everyone listening, like you can say no to bachelorette party.

You can say no to being in a wedding. They don’t have to cater to you.

Kati Kons: I hate,

Christa Innis: I

Kati Kons: hate to, the whole bachelorette thing also gets me because I’m like, you could have said no. Yeah. I went and she didn’t. Is wild to me.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh.

Kati Kons: I feel bad for this girly though. I know. I feel bad because it, I just, uh, I want, I want her to just be like.

Christa Innis: I feel like there must have been some kind of animosity before, because if this all happened and then she’s getting the vibe that like, oh, she’s doing these things and purposely,

Kati Kons: I feel like maybe she’s bad at telling stories and we missed some key detail about this in that there’s like some childhood trauma or something that we’re missing because I feel like there, I don’t know.

I feel like this story is like way too transparently against her for Yeah,

Christa Innis: like what I like, gotta go back and make, make sure I didn’t miss like a first paragraph or something. I, I don’t know. I think it all started when here’s my, okay, here’s my take. And again, I might be reading into it, but it’s, it’s my job here, right?

So when she said, my mom seemed to be bothered by it, but I wasn’t, I think she was bothered by it. So I think like in her mind, this whole thing, she’s like thinking about the whole time like, oh, they’ve only been dating this long. Oh, they’re getting married right after me. And so I think then everything just kind of becomes a, like a silent competition.

Yeah. Oh, that’s how I’m reading it, because like

Kati Kons: Oh, and so yourself. Because, because it’s a competition. She’s like, I went to the bachelor party

Christa Innis: and I did this,

Kati Kons: and I I went to your wedding pregnant, and so you have to change the thing because of me. Yeah.

Christa Innis: And I planned out my schedule like this. But you did it like this and you weren’t thinking about me the pregnant one.

Oh. So that’s how I’m reading

Kati Kons: it. You’re right. Uhhuh. But

Christa Innis: I’m

Kati Kons: sorry. You’re right.

Christa Innis: You’re listening. And, sorry, I’m not trying to come hard on you. Um, so she said, okay, so she said that honestly, I think she was just jealous that we got married first and I was pregnant at her wedding as if I was stealing her limelight.

But how did. How would she make you feel that way? ’cause she wanted you in the wedding, in a part of the photos. So I don’t know. We’d been together much longer and I feel like she took out her frustrations on me because her wedding didn’t go as planned.

Kati Kons: I feel like maybe it’s just the other way around. I feel like sometimes people, um, I don’t know.

I feel like I’ve seen that sometimes where people who have been together for a long time and then people get married who have not known each other, who have not known each other for very long, get married and there’s like a weird competition between those two types of relationships because they’re like, oh, well you haven’t been together for very long.

Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? And they’re like, well, you don’t have to have known each other for very long. You know what

Christa Innis: I mean? Yes. They try to like belittle it. Yes. Yeah. I remember. Okay. So like I was saying earlier, like my husband and I have, we were engaged for. No, not engaged for, we were together for six years before we got engaged.

Just ’cause like, I never wanted to be like a super young married, we were, I was 23 when we got together. So anyways, that’s besides the point. But like couples that like met after us or started dating after us, but got married before us would make comments like, oh, like, like married comments. Like, they’d be like, oh, when you’re married you’ll get it.

And I’m like, we already live together. I’ve like, what do you mean? Like, oh, just something’s magically gonna happen when we get married. And I’m like, oh, now I understand. Like there was just so many comments of like almost belittling our relationship because we weren’t legally married. That’s so weird.

That’s so weird. Yeah, it happened more times I could count, I would just learn to just like shut my mouth because I was just like, that’s so

Kati Kons: weird.

Christa Innis: Because

Kati Kons: people are always like, oh, like do you feel different now that you got married? And I was like, no. I mean, we’ve lived together for how many years? Like, we literally, our life goes on and nothing changes the f*ck.

Christa Innis: You’re just like solidifying for yourself. Like Yeah, like

Kati Kons: we, we just decided to have a party for fun. I don’t know.

Christa Innis: Exactly. Yeah. I feel like once you like already like live together and like have your stuff all in a place together, it doesn’t really change much. No. But legally we get to save money on taxes, so that is,

Kati Kons: that is a plus.

Honestly, that’s so rude of the legal system. Like why sh*t on singles like that? It’s crazy. This, but they literally have to support themselves with one person’s income. That is so hard nowadays. And not only that, you’re gonna deprive them of tax benefits.

Christa Innis: I, yeah, it blows my mind. Speaking of crazy wedding stories that someone sent me about like.

Married versus like long-term partner. This girl sent me a story and she’s like, she’s a young adult, so she’s probably in her twenties, right. She said an aunt of hers got married and said, only married couples. She goes, my parents never got married, never got legally married, so they’ve been together 30, 40 years.

Right. My math might be off, but she’s like, my mom wasn’t invited because they’re not legally married. I thought, wait, they’re inviting the dad, they’re inviting his kids, but not the wife, or not the long-term partner because they’re not legally married. I thought, what a weird wedding rule.

Kati Kons: Am I lost?

What do you mean they’re not inviting the wi, they’re not inviting the wife. She’s, well, she’s not technically a wife.

Christa Innis: Right, right, right. But the Like the wife figure. The wife figure, yeah.

Kati Kons: Sot a wedding. It was like a wedding. It was like a fake wedding per se. Without the wife figure.

Christa Innis: Yeah. It was her dad’s sister.

So her aunt, and she was like, yeah, my mom wasn’t invited. ’cause they’re, it was married, couple couples only. Oh my God. When everyone’s document what? Oh, that’s great. I’m like, that blows my mind. Anyways, there’s one last paragraph here. Okay.

Kati Kons: Oh, here we go.

Christa Innis: I didn’t say much about it afterwards, but when my brother asked what she had said to my husband, it really stuck with me.

For years, the photographer didn’t want to deviate from the list of planned shots, but surely a professional. Okay, wait. So he said the photographer didn’t wanna deviate from his list of planned shots, which I agree with, but surely a professional could have worked around people being late. Plenty of other photos could have been taken while they waited.

I had to drive 30 extra minutes outta my way to the reception just to be in three photos, photos that could have been easily taken at the ceremony.

Kati Kons: I really tried to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Christa Innis: I’m trying, I really tried. This is, this isn’t, I hate to say this, but this is entitled, this is really entitled, Uhhuh. Oh, that sucks. But maybe this is a wake up call. I mean, I’m no therapist. I, I’m just literally just reading a story, reading a story. So maybe I’m understanding wrong.

If you’re listening and you’ve got more context, send it my way.

Kati Kons: Yeah. Please, please send a response. Yes, chime in. But yeah,

Christa Innis: that’s the lesson is, uh, if you are a part of a wedding, I mean, you can say no.

Kati Kons: Also, let’s, let’s also, another thing to take from that is get a planner. Because your photographer shouldn’t be your planner.

Christa Innis: Yeah. 100%.

Kati Kons: We hate that for planners or for photographers. That’s really rude. But, um, it like happens to a lot of photographers that they have to like, take over as planners when you don’t have one or a day of coordinator or something. But yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I got that vibe from my, my photographer literally was the best ever.

She had a full on timeline. Mm-hmm. And I talked to other brides, they’re like. They’re like, I don’t have one from my photographer. I was like, maybe mine’s like used to like people not having planners or something. Mm-hmm. Little does she know I’m very anal. I think

Kati Kons: that’s what the photographer for my sister’s wedding was like.

’cause she had everything planned out. Yeah. And I was like, afraid of that. I was like, wow. I was like, my photographer was like just much more type B creative. Okay. And I was like, I don’t, I don’t want her to be like worried about things. And she was still really, and I was like, I just don’t want to be like, I don’t know, worried about things.

I wanted the most laid back wedding you could imagine. And we did have that, so that was good. But

Christa Innis: yeah, when it’s down to the minute, that’s a lot. But I, I’m someone I like to know what’s gonna happen and like, even like something about like, Krista eat was on there. ’cause like if I get distracted by other things, I’ll forget.

So it was like that. Yeah. Ours was

Kati Kons: not down to the minute. We had like a lot of like, time in between things, so for us it was like really, really relaxed. That’s good. Yeah. So it was like, not like most weddings, which is awesome.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I like that.

Kati Kons: Okay. Um, did you get these people’s names or do I that was crazy or No, for this story?

Christa Innis: Um, yeah, they usually send like their,

Kati Kons: yeah, I don’t know if I get their name, but to this anonymous person, I’m so sorry, but please reflect. Yeah. Um, that’s all I have to say. Um, I, and you know what? The best is yet to come for you. Okay. It gets better.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah, I think, I think we’re either missing a lot of the story or I think there needs to like, need to figure out some, uh, there might be some like animosity that’s happening.

And so like every little thing is, it’s not against you, you’re not a victim, is what I am kind of getting from.

Kati Kons: I would just remind yourself that when you’re at someone else’s wedding, the wedding is about them for sure. Mm-hmm. For f*cking sure.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Every time. A hundred

Kati Kons: percent.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I think so many times we hear these stories and we’re like, that’s crazy.

And then like, we don’t see ourselves in them. And so my guess is she probably was like, oh yeah, they’re gonna for sure read this and be like, that’s crazy that she didn’t do that. But it’s like we need to like, like take a step back and be like, wait, you’re asking a bride and groom take out that it’s your brother and his wife?

Would you do this at any wedding you’re a part of?

Kati Kons: Mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: And if you wouldn’t, then don’t do it at your brother’s wedding.

Kati Kons: No. I feel like I couldn’t even ask my sister to do something like that. Same,

Christa Innis: yeah. I’d be

Kati Kons: mortified. I would be mortified. Oh my gosh, I don’t even both because I would, is would I, is it, would it be easier to ask my sister or harder?

I don’t even know.

Christa Innis: Right. Yeah. I don’t know. I couldn’t do it. All right. Well that’s a crazy story. Thanks for reacting with me. Um, well thanks for coming out and hanging out with me today. Yeah, of course. Can you, um, tell everyone again where they can follow you, find all your content and anything exciting that you’re working on right now?

Kati Kons: Yeah. You can find me at Portrait of a Bride on fire on Instagram and TikTok and I am always working on fun things on. Styling things. If you ever need to be styled or if you want to revamp your wardrobe or if you have a wedding coming up that you need to be styled for, let me know.

Christa Innis: Awesome. Well, thank you so much.

Kati Kons: All

Christa Innis: right.

Figure out how to stop this. Oh my gosh. Why am I, oh my God. There we go.

by Christa Innis

Family Meetings, Social Media Disasters & a Great Grandma Twist - with Cassie Horrell

What happens when a wedding planner is asked to walk Great Grandma down the aisle… only to be handed a Tupperware container?!

In this episode, Christa sits down with wedding expert Cassie Horrell to unpack the wildest wedding stories, biggest etiquette debates, and the jaw-dropping family drama that comes with saying “I do.” From setting boundaries with toxic in-laws to why open seating is a terrible idea, no topic is off-limits. Plus, they tackle unpopular wedding opinions and the ultimate white dress dilemma.

Get ready to laugh, gasp, and take notes for your own wedding day!

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

06:43 The Wedding Planner Who Walked Great Grandma (Sort Of)

08:53 Wearing White to a Wedding: A Hard No?

11:38 First Looks vs. Traditional Aisle Moments

14:13 Why Open Seating at a Wedding is a Nightmare

17:53 The Worst Mother-in-Law Story You’ll Ever Hear

22:38 Bridesmaid Budget Drama & Bachelorette Expectations

27:08 Unpopular Wedding Opinions: Toss Traditions or Keep Them?

31:46 Wedding Confessions: The Most Awkward Guest Bets Ever

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

Great Grandma’s Final Wedding Appearance – When a groom’s family insists their beloved great-grandmother must be part of the wedding, Cassie prepares for an emotional moment—until she’s handed a Tupperware container.
Wearing White to a Wedding: A Crime? – Cassie and Christa debate the biggest wedding guest faux pas and share real-life stories of guests who should’ve known better.
First Look vs. Traditional Aisle Moment – The pros, cons, and the real reason so many wedding planners swear by first looks.
The Worst Mother-in-Law Ever? – This mother-in-law sabotaged dress shopping, criticized the bride’s body, and demanded her son’s ex be reinstated as a bridesmaid.
Why Open Seating is a Disaster – Cassie explains why letting guests pick their own seats sounds nice in theory—but causes absolute chaos in reality.
Wedding Confessions: The Awkward Guest Bets – What happens when wedding guests start betting on how long the marriage will last? Christa and Cassie react to the ultimate cringe moment.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“PSA: If you have to ask, ‘Is this too white for a wedding?’—the answer is YES.” – Christa Innis

“I could not imagine having to walk on eggshells around my in-laws. That’s terrifying.” – Christa Innis

“Why do people feel the need to comment on a bride’s body on her wedding day?” – Christa Innis

“Nothing is mandatory at a wedding. If a tradition doesn’t serve you, toss it.” – Cassie Horrell

“If your wedding planner asks if your guest list is finalized, don’t surprise them with last-minute ‘add-ons’ like great-grandma’s ashes.” – Cassie Horrell

“You don’t need to invite people just because they’re family. It’s your day.” – Cassie Horrell

About Cassie

Cassie Horrell is a seasoned wedding planner and event coordinator known for her ability to handle even the most unpredictable wedding day chaos with humor and grace. With years of experience in the industry, Cassie has seen it all—from heartwarming moments to jaw-dropping disasters—and she’s not afraid to spill the tea. She’s passionate about helping couples navigate the stress of wedding planning, set boundaries with overbearing family members, and create a day that feels authentically theirs. Whether it’s dodging last-minute guest list surprises or dealing with wedding etiquette debates, Cassie brings expertise, real talk, and a whole lot of laughs.

Follow Cassie Horrell:

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Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

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A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi, Cassie. Thank you so much for coming on.

Cassie Horrell: Of course. Thank you so much for having me.

Christa Innis: Yes. I’m so excited, especially because you have like firsthand experience in wedding drama. You do so much when it comes to weddings and you have some amazing content that I’ve loved, like seeing more recently. Cause when I started talking about the podcast, people kept tagging you.

And I was like, this is so cool. And you have like so many stories. So I was like, we have to talk and like, see what we can, come up with here. But before we get started, can you just tell us a little bit about you and what you do and then we’ll kind of jump into it.

Cassie Horrell: Yeah, my name is Cassie.

A lot of people on tiktok know me as wedding pro cast. I’ve been in the industry for about 12 years now. Always working venue based usually from properties like clubs, resorts. And now I work at the Heinz History Center in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. so that’s kind of my main job. I help and lead a team that does about 60 weddings a year.

So we see a ton come in and out of our building. and I own a mobile bar, Clink 92, that services weddings and all kinds of events in Pittsburgh and Ohio. And then just this year, because of TikTok, I have started taking on personal clients, very small, anywhere between two to five a year, just because I’m so busy, where I actually do full service planning and partial planning for couples, so.

Christa Innis: That is amazing. Having fun. Yeah. So you’re like a planner by nature. You love getting it all together.

Cassie Horrell: Yes. I feel like since I’ve been young, that’s how I am. And I am just a very creative person. So any type of outlet where I can be connecting with people and sharing ideas and building something from the ground up, I absolutely love.

Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s amazing. And 60 weddings a year. Wow. That is, how do you keep everything like straight? Like, do you ever like mix up like, Oh, this couple here, wait, that was that couple. Like, I don’t, how do you, you have to be a really like very organized person.

Cassie Horrell: So I have to say, like, a lot of the reason we’re so successful is because of the amazing people that work on my team. I oversee several planners, events operations managers, and a full crew that really help the magic kind of come together on a wedding day. So that helps me not have to take on the brunt of everything, which helps a lot. I usually just at the History Center have anywhere between 8 to 12 couples that are specifically mine. Um, So that makes it a little bit easier to manage.

Christa Innis: Yeah, yeah, definitely. Wow, that sounds awesome. So I bet like, which we’re going to talk about today, I bet you have a lot of wedding horror stories. I’m sure you have good and bad stories. Yes. we always talk about, I always make sure, and I’m sure you have to say this with your People on your channel as well as like there are so many amazing wedding stories. I get some comments Sometimes it’ll be like, oh, thank god Like I saw this because I never want to get married and i’m just like no I don’t want my channel to like make you not want to get married or have a wedding because there’s like so many drama free Weddings, but the drama ones just really heighten when they’re so crazy,

Cassie Horrell: right?

And I feel like i’m the same way I go on my channel like every so Often, and I’m like, hey, just a reminder. A lot of the stories are dramatized and bad things do not happen at every wedding. Every single wedding has the happy moments. It has these beautiful moments, and none of the stories I tell, I never want them to veer somebody from getting married. Like, obviously, I’m in the wedding industry, as you are. Like, we love weddings. we like to see the big weddings. And I see a lot of people like, I’m eloping because of this. And I’m like, please don’t jump to that conclusion. These stories just like, I feel like our audience thrives on them and it gives them a little bit of drama in their day. So that’s why it’s fun to post and connect with people.

Christa Innis: Yeah, absolutely. And I think the other side of it too is like, teaching people like, boundaries to have. Like, some of the conversations that you post is like, it’s helping someone on whether they’re like, quote unquote villain of the story or quote unquote like, protagonist.

Like, seeing these like, conversations take place can help. I’m know what to say in certain situations or how to set boundaries with someone that maybe is overbearing.

Cassie Horrell: Exactly. And I get a lot of people, I know your channel does too, where people will say, oh my gosh, I’m the mom in this situation. Or I need to say this to my mom, I need to say this to my sister, because it puts into perspective that other people are going through a similar situation or something that’s pretty applicable.

And how we are responding shows them how they could respond.

Christa Innis: Yeah, absolutely. So jumping into kind of crazy stories and wedding hot takes, what is like one of the craziest stories that comes to mind when you’re asked about it?

The Wedding Planner Who Walked Great Grandma… Or Did She?

Cassie Horrell: so this one, it’s one of the funnier ones, but it’s a little bit heartfelt.

And I have shared it on my page two different times. but I had a couple that was just, Like elite vibes, you know when you like bond with a couple everybody in the family is like so fun There was zero drama. So I go into the wedding weekend and we run rehearsal. Everything’s great The next day I check in on the couples we had where I was working at the time. There was like two Villas so one for the ladies one for the gentleman check it with the ladies. Everything’s good I check in with the gentleman and they all the sudden are like, oh my gosh We forgot to tell you our great grandma Has to be in the wedding ceremony and I’m like, oh my goodness, like, I can’t believe we didn’t go over this.

So I logistically go into planner mode, like, what song does she want to walk to? Does she need an escort? Is there a walker or a wheelchair? Where are we reserving her a spot? And they’re like, yeah, we’d love if you would walk her down the aisle and as long as she has a seat in the front row, that’s all good. So me, I’m like, great. Just let me know when grandma gets here and I’m looking around like no grandma in sight. And one of the groomsmen, who was the brother, is like, Hey, Grandma’s already here. I already have her. And I’m like, Oh, well, do you need me to go get a wheelchair to, like, pick her up? And he’s like, No, let me go grab her.

And brings out a Tupperware container of her remains. And, like, they have, they have drawn, like, this little smiley face on it. And me, like, I was just surprised, like, whatever, if that’s what your family does, and like, this is how you bring great grandma to things. And they just hand her over to me, like, yeah, here she is, like, if you don’t mind, like, before it starts, walking her down and, like, putting her on the chair so her face is facing us. And I’m like, her face? A joke? So, I literally have this little Tupperware container that I’m, like, walking down before the real processional starts. I place her on the chair, like, make sure the little Sharpie face that they drew on there is, like, facing front. And to me, I found it, like, hilarious, but also, like, a little sentimental and special, like, this is how their family’s, like, including their great grandma, and they told me after that their great grandma has been to, like, all the cousins weddings, she comes to the holidays, and it’s, like, kind of a joke, but also not, and to me, that was, like, One of those crazy stories that you like go into a wedding day and you don’t Expect for that to happen and you just kind of got to go with it and keep everything light hearted So yeah, that’s one that I share quite frequently because it’s not too drama filled but just a little surprising.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh Because it’s like one of those things where I think They probably got so used to in their own family, just saying, Oh, great grandma, bring great grandma, but forgot to mention to you, like, great grandma’s ashes. Like, you know, so you’re expecting this, like, person and they just were like, let’s see what she, how she reacts to that.

Cassie Horrell: Yeah. And like, luckily I’m very, like, go with the flow. So I was just like, okay, great grandma’s going to hang out with me for the next hour. I’ll make sure she gets down the aisle.

Christa Innis: Oh, my gosh. Okay. So kind of going into that, but I want to talk about wedding hot takes and I kind of want to angle it a little bit differently since you’re so involved in the wedding industry.

Cassie Horrell: Okay.

Christa Innis: This first one’s about a guest or someone wearing white to the wedding. How would you handle that? And like, what are your own takes on when someone tries to wear white to a wedding?

Wearing White to a Wedding: Just Don’t

Cassie Horrell: Okay. My own personal take is absolutely not. We are not wearing white to a wedding. Only reason you should be wearing white to a wedding is if the couple, like, specifies, hey, the dress code is all white. Because there are weddings that do that. And I think in that case, of course. But if it has not been specified to wear white, it is reserved for the bride, typically. I have had brides get married in blue. I’ve had brides get married in black, but typically, if you’re going to take a bet on something, most likely the bride is wearing a shade of white.

So, personally, that is my take. I have only had this happen twice, where I’ve had people arrive to a wedding and they are wearing white. one time it was a child that was like a guest, maybe like middle aged school age. So I didn’t really think that was an issue. It didn’t become an issue. But there was another time where a girl was literally wearing a white dress. It had like very teeny weenie tints of like blush flowers, like very light, looked white. And in this case, I basically went to one of the bridesmaids. And I said, how do you think the bride is going to react to her wearing white?

And the bridesmaid was like, she needs to change. So I approached the guest, and I’ve actually done a, I did a story on this on my page. Approached the guest and I just let her know, Somebody in the wedding party has noticed the white dress. Do you have any change of clothes? Are you coming from out of town? Luckily, she was like, I thought people might think this was too white. Which I’m like, did you look in the mirror? She was staying at the hotel that was like a mile away. She had arrived at least 20 minutes before the ceremony. So she’s like, I will go back now. I’ll change. She actually ended up not making it back for the ceremony.

And she was there at cocktail hour in a purple dress. So to me, if. Someone wears white and I’m not sure how the couple would respond. Maybe we haven’t chatted about it. I will approach somebody that’s close to the bride. mom, sister, I typically don’t like to bother the bride with it. and if they think they need to change, I have no problem. Approaching somebody letting them know.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. That was handled so well, because it’s like, you never know how that person’s gonna react either. but yeah, like, PSA is like, if you think it’s too white, or when you’re looking in the mirror getting ready, and you’re like, mm, no people think it, then it probably is too white.

Cassie Horrell: Yes. If it crosses your mind, is this too white, or you’re texting a group chat, do we think this is too, has too much white in it, then like, just put it back on, in your closet and wear it another day.

Christa Innis: Yeah, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Okay. What are your thoughts on the bride and groom seeing each other before walking down the ceremony, like doing a first look as opposed to at the end of the altar?

First Look vs. Aisle Moment: The Ultimate Wedding Debate

Cassie Horrell: So, as a professional, I’m a huge fan of the first look. Just logistically, it makes your couple’s day, I think, a little bit more relaxed, not as rushed. obviously, you can get all those pictures before. And if I know my couples are super emotional, I sometimes recommend that because it takes the pressure off of, like, having that moment when you walk down the aisle.

So, personally, as a or as a professional, I would 100 percent say first look. Now, personally, I am a sucker for, like, the traditional, see each other when you walk down the aisle. That is what I did with my husband, but I do have to say we were both like happy crying the whole wedding because it was so overwhelming. And that is one of the reasons that I’m like, man, if I went back in time, I might have done a first look.

Christa Innis: but

Cassie Horrell: that was like eight years ago. So I’m like, first looks were not as popular then.

Christa Innis: Right, right. That’s so funny. That’s like such a, that’s like the very common thing I hear. It’s like, Logistically, when people are like planners or they work behind the scenes, they’re like, yes, do a first look.

But for brides themselves, a lot of times they’re like, no, I love that, like, moment because I was the same way. Like, I loved having that first moment down the aisle. But I’ve been a part of so many weddings where they did a first look, so. It’s kind of interesting to see, um, do you have any wedding hot takes or unpopular opinions that you can think of far off the bat?

Otherwise, we’ll jump into a section called unpopular opinions from other people.

Why Open Seating at a Formal Wedding is a Nightmare

Cassie Horrell: Okay, well, one opinion that I always share very frequently on my page and it always is like I get so many like comments is I do not believe a formal wedding. has, should have open seating. Like, absolutely not. It should be organized seating.

I don’t care if you’re doing seating assignments or table assignments. Open seating at a formal wedding is just not it. And I always talk about like the repercussions of choosing that and people in the comments are like Oh, I did open seating for my 300 person wedding. It was no problem. And I was like, you probably just didn’t see it cause it was your wedding day. But when I tell you there’s repercussions to that choice, there totally is. So that is like my number one opinion that I have on seating.

Christa Innis: Yes. No, I love that. I, I’m such a planner myself, type a, I love a good seating chart. Like nothing makes me happier than being as a guest and on the other side of things.

I love being told where to sat, where to sit because, It kind of brings back like, Oh, we have enough room or, Oh, I don’t know anybody at this wedding. So where are my husband and I, or where am I going to squeeze in and it’s just makes things less awkward if you’re like, you know what, that’s my seat. Don’t need to think about it.

Cassie Horrell: Yeah, literally from like a timeline standpoint. Guest comfortability and then even the host comfortability, knowing everybody will be taken care of. It’s the best route to go.

Christa Innis: Yes. And I loved, I don’t know about you at your own wedding, but I loved putting together the seating chart of like, Oh, this person would get along with that person, but I’m going to put them here.

And like, my husband would laugh at me because I had so much fun. Like every night I’d be like, okay, I think I need to move these people. He’s like, it looks good. I’m like, well, how about this and this? And like, I loved like. The final, like, I don’t know. It was so much fun for me to put together.

Cassie Horrell: Yeah. Me and my husband got married.

We were 23, 24. So like pretty young. So I felt a little bit like matchmaker. Cause like we were invited a lot of our single friends after college. Oh, we could sit these people together and these people together. Uh, but no, that’s definitely a fun part of it.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. I love that. Okay. So here’s some unpopular opinions that people sent me on Instagram.

So let’s kind of see what they had to say. Um, this person says. Take. Okay. Take wedding parties, individual budget into consideration when planning wedding events. What are your thoughts on that?

Cassie Horrell: Make wedding parties, individual budgets. Okay. So when I, if you’re in the wedding party, I am on board. I do have to agree.

I am on board with like getting a general sense of like where people are at monetarily. Usually in a wedding party, like people are all over in their life. Like some people may have kids. Some people may be in eight weddings that year. So I do think it’s important to kind of get a general sense of what people can spend when it comes to like bachelorette.

And those types of things. I think when it comes to the actual wedding, no, um, that should be up to the couple. Um, when it comes to attire, you 100 percent should keep in mind people’s budget, especially if they’re buying all of their own things. If the bride or groom are paying for wedding party things, then I don’t think it truly matters.

Um, but yeah, I am on board on that for the most part.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And I think too, an important thing to say is like, It should never be a requirement. Like, if someone wants to be in your wedding, like, but they’re like, I can’t make it to the bachelorette party, it’s out of my budget, it’s okay to say no to those things.

Because I see so many times in comments like, oh, the bride’s selfish for wanting to do a bachelorette party trip to Florida or wherever it is. And it’s like, but as a bridesmaid, you have the free will to say No, like, I will be in your wedding, but I can’t afford this. Um, so it definitely goes both ways for sure.

Yes. Um, this person says, Her unpopular opinion is doing something for tradition’s sake is unnecessary, i. e. the bouquet toss and garter toss.

Cassie Horrell: I agree with that one as well. Um, I feel regardless of the tradition, the couple should always be choosing things that make the most sense for them and their partner and, like, are going to enhance their day.

And if you are getting forced to do a cake cutting, the guard, or the bouquet, and you don’t want to do it, like, it’s the worst thing. Like, nobody should be forcing you to do anything on your day just because it’s tradition or mom did it, dad did it. Um, and I always tell people that there is no Nothing is mandatory at a wedding when it comes to the formalities.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I love that. Yeah, I feel like so many times people fall into the trap of like, well, they did it so I have to do it too. Or this is like what’s expected of me. And I feel like when you start going that way, then you either have regrets about your wedding or you’re uncomfortable on your own wedding day.

Right? Yeah, I totally agree. Okay, I want to jump into this week’s wedding submission because it’s a little. A little long. Um, so here we go. I’ve not read this, so we’ll see how this, how this one goes. Um, and feel free to stop me anytime if you want to add something or react to it. We’ll just kind of react as it goes.

The Monster-in-Law Who Tried to Take Over the Wedding

Cassie Horrell: Let me pull up on my screen here and make sure I can see it all. Okay. When my husband and I met online, or sorry, when my husband and I met, it was online. I knew before I ever met him, it was. He, in person, he was the man I was going to marry. We talked for a long time via messages and FaceTime before ever meeting.

We met and it wasn’t long before he had hinted that he was going to propose to me. It finally happened a week before one of my closest friends was to be married. So I kept the news to myself until we got through that and then I announced it, which props to her. That’s very nice.

Cassie Horrell: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Um, my, my parents had already knew it was going to happen.

As he sat down and spoke with them, my older brother also knew it was coming as well. I guess he had covered all the bases with my family about asking me to marry him, but he hadn’t said anything to his family at all. Which What? Interesting. Excuse me? Yeah. When we announced that we were engaged on Facebook, oh gosh, everyone seemed very happy about it.

Then I started to see angry faces and a lot of negative comments. My mother in law commented saying, how effing, the actual word, effing dare you announce this without asking my permission first? Oh, not on a public face.

Cassie Horrell: This is terrible.

Christa Innis: So bad. Uh, then it only got worse from there. She proceeded to call me names and tell me that I wasn’t good enough to marry her son.

Oh my gosh. Uh, all while she was commenting, my sister in law was commenting and yelling, Oh, calling and yelling at him about how they should have had a family meeting about allowing a woman with kids into the family.

Cassie Horrell: What?

Christa Innis: I felt sick and unwanted. That is terrible. Family meeting.

Cassie Horrell: No.

Christa Innis: Oh, my gosh.

Eventually we get to planning the wedding and his mom had made it very clear that she did not want any part of helping plan the wedding. We tried to include her many times, but she would just keep saying rude things about how my wedding didn’t need to be the center of every conversation. So my husband is from a really small town and we went there for the Fourth of July.

This was the first time I would be meeting his dad and step mom, his brother and sister. Yes, the same sister that was calling and yelling at him. It was a good time, and they were very interested in all the things that we had planned for the wedding. Okay, so it seems like some family member was like,

Cassie Horrell: this is turning around.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Cassie Horrell: Maybe.

Christa Innis: Maybe. His dad told us that we had an allotted amount of money to use, and that if he needed anything beyond that, um, his mom would have to help us. So his ex, the dad’s ex wife. Um, so it was the day we went dress shopping and because we had so many bridesmaids, the place was a full house.

Everyone was having the best time. Then we felt a shift in the energy and my mother in law walked in just the gray clouds.

Cassie Horrell: Here we go.

Christa Innis: She was extremely upset that no one picked her. Picked her up to bring her to the bridal shop. She sat down and shouted, Let’s get this thing over with. I don’t want to be here all effing day.

Cassie Horrell: She seems nasty.

Christa Innis: Yeah, why even invite her? Like, I would be like, No, you’re not coming. Cause I wouldn’t even want someone’s opinions like that. My mom looked over at her and asked her to leave then if she didn’t want to be there. Yeah. Then she said, She’s been married before, so I don’t know why she even needs to buy a dress.

Cassie Horrell: That is terrible.

Christa Innis: I hate that. She could have gotten one at Goodwill.

Cassie Horrell: No.

Christa Innis: Okay, that is terrible.

Cassie Horrell: This lady’s a witch.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I ignored the comments and started trying on dresses. There wasn’t a dress I tried on that she didn’t have a rude comment about. I would be telling her to leave at that point. That is, yeah, that’s so like unenjoyable.

I finally found the one and loved it and it made me happy. Later that evening at dinner, she tells my husband. I found the dress that hides my arm flab the best.

Cassie Horrell: No, this is bad. I don’t know who this woman is, but this is bad.

Christa Innis: This is bad. This is like one of the worst stories I’ve read. Oh my gosh. The night of my rehearsal, my mother in law sat there complaining the whole time how she had to sit at the same table as my father in law.

She kept saying he better not talk to me. Then finally my brother in law shows up late and my mother in law demanded that I allow my brother in law’s wife in the wedding as a bridesmaid.

Cassie Horrell: Excuse me?

Christa Innis: At the rehearsal dinner? Okay. She was supposed to be my bridesmaid and then they broke up and I guess they got back together the week of the wedding.

Surprise. Okay. They called me many times that week and never said anything about it so I was a little taken aback by this. My mother in law told me that she was told to bring the dress and that she would make me let her be in the wedding again.

Cassie Horrell: This is the mother in law said that again said that the

Christa Innis: oh told me to bring her dress with and she and to make her bring.

Okay. Wait, I need to say that again. Sorry.

Cassie Horrell: I’m like, wait,

Christa Innis: my mother in law told me that she told her to bring the dress with her and that she would make me let her be in the wedding again.

Cassie Horrell: Okay. So force this girl into the wedding.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And make her and make my other bridesmaids sit out. Wait, so that’s even worse. Like, we’re just going to swap you right in there.

Cassie Horrell: This is terrible.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. I told her I wouldn’t allow my other bridesmaid who paid money for the dress to sit out and they would both have to walk down the aisle together. That didn’t make her happy and she told me to just tell my bridesmaid that we would reimburse her for the dress and she could sit down and enjoy herself. I again told her absolutely not. She got upset and called me a spoiled witch. I

Cassie Horrell: I’m a little taken back by this woman.

Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s hard because it’s like I’m not in that position, so it’s always different when you’re in it, but I’m just like, I could not stand to be around someone like that that’s constantly mean like that and just like trying to control everything.

Cassie Horrell: Also, I’m a little confused. Like, why isn’t the partner standing up to his mom or like being a little bit more supportive here? Because it wasn’t like one instance. This is like 20 instances.

Christa Innis: Yes. Like he needs to be like. Like, guarded security at this point, like, blocking her, because yeah, that’s, that’s too much.

We finally get to the rehearsal, we finally get the rehearsal done and everyone left to go to my brother’s house where we were gonna have pizza. My sister in law made rude comments about how we could only afford pizza and not a real meal.

Cassie Horrell: Oh

Christa Innis: no. Let me tell you, we had pizza at our rehearsal dinner and it was still expensive.

Everyone loves pizza. There’s no problem with pizza. Exactly. No one complained. At least not to our face. Um, My parents shelled out over a thousand dollars for this meal. It’s what we chose as it feeds the most. And it was easy as my husband was having his bachelor party the night before the wedding.

Cassie Horrell: Yikes. Sewing

Christa Innis: scrims, man. Yeah. No, I don’t know if people still did that. Yeah, no, no,

Cassie Horrell: no.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Um, uh, yeah, so he had his bachelor party. It was a terrible idea, by the way. But that’s a story for another day. So we all had pizza and us girls all left. We told my mother in law three times before we left what time our hair and makeup appointment was the next morning. And we were almost done when she and my brother in law’s wife showed up to get ready. She said, how dare I get ready before the mother of The groom. What? I cannot believe the audacity here.

Cassie Horrell: Yeah, she’s out of line. Yeah.

Christa Innis: When everyone was ready to go to the ballroom and get ready for pictures, she was mad that we were leaving her. Well, you should have been there on time.

Cassie Horrell: Yeah.

Christa Innis: We were on a strict time frame. We told her that my sister in law needed to be there by a certain time for pictures. She never got there in time for pictures and it snowballed from there. My mother in law ruined our first look, not surprised, by accidentally getting mud all over the bottom of my dress. Oh. Accidentally. Yeah, how did that happen? She wouldn’t smile in any pictures. Oh my gosh. Um, so later that night I heard someone say that my mother in law was telling everyone that my wedding was unclassy and tacky. And that clearly we didn’t have any money to buy real things. Why do people feel the need to make comments like that?

Cassie Horrell: Right, keep it to yourself.

Christa Innis: Yeah, like, come on. Oh, and yes, then the arm, arm flab comet came up again that night. I’d slap her. I’d slap her. Oh my gosh, that is terrible. Like, never, never comment on someone’s body, but especially not a bride on her wedding day. Exactly. Like, that is not okay. And that night she walked by and pinched my arm and said, You should really work on that. It’s gross.

Cassie Horrell: No. This could be like a whole series. This is like the series of Unfortunate Mother in Law. I don’t know what this is.

Christa Innis: Literally, I’m like picturing like, uh, I don’t even know, like, what’s that movie? Like, Monster in Law? It’s like literally something like that. Like, if someone did that to me, I would literally be like, you can leave right now. But I would’ve, I feel like I would’ve said that so many times. I don’t know. Same. Um, I wish I could have made that up, but I didn’t. My mother in law to this day is still not a nice woman, doesn’t speak to me, my brother in law is not married to that woman anymore, and my father in law is still the coolest. Well, at least the father in law is cool. Here’s to 10 years and crazy in laws.

Cassie Horrell: Wow. I can’t believe she put up with that on her wedding day.

Christa Innis: I, yeah, I feel like once I saw those like rude Facebook comments, I would be like, okay, we need to fix this now or you’re not invited to anything because like the wedding dress thing, I would not want to put on and try wedding dresses in front of someone like that.

Cassie Horrell: No, I mean, I did dress shopping with just me and my mom and it was like perfect because it was like little opinion and like I could really try it on. I can’t imagine like having my whole wedding party, my mom, mother in law, especially somebody that like, You get the vibes. They don’t like you. It’s like they’re trying to sabotage your whole experience, which is what this woman did.

Christa Innis: Exactly. Yeah. And like kind of going back to when people are like, Oh, these stories make me never want to get married or something. It’s like someone like this. You have red flags ahead of time. Like you’re not going to just also have a you. Um, wedding dress shop and the person that’s been so nice to you is always going to be like, Oh, that looks terrible, you know, like, so I think a lot of times you’ll have those red flags about people. And if you don’t, I don’t think it’s going to automatically just change.

Cassie Horrell: Right. I think the thing that just like surprises me about the story is that the husband was seeing this happen and like she doesn’t share the husband might have had conversations with his mom like she didn’t share that part of it but I’m like, that truly shocks me that like he would allow.

His mom to speak to his wife like that and I’m like, I just I can’t imagine that happened Like you said like we’re not in that in the situation. You’re reading it from a one sided story But like that’s what shocks me. The most is that like they let her get away with it

Christa Innis: Right. Well, yeah, and it’s and I find it interesting She says and she doesn’t speak to me which makes me think she still speaks to the Sun which And I, again, don’t want to make assumptions, but if I was being treated that way, and my husband was still talking to his mom, I would be like, no.

Like, you need to back up your wife. Right. So, it sounds like she’s, like, still talking to The son, but just not the wife and the wife, like the brother’s like wife so much and she was like trying to pull her in. I’m like, what’s the difference? Like, wow,

Cassie Horrell: and they’re not even married anymore. So it looks like the son picked a very great partner. We’re like, the other son didn’t have as great of a match. So that’s a little weird too.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. I feel like when I hear these stories, it has to do with like some kind of like jealousy or like appearances or like, like she wants to look a certain way. I don’t know. Yeah.

Cassie Horrell: That’s it always surprises me because like I have the world’s best mother in law that she’s just like an angel and like Our families get along, and there’s just like never really issues, and in the planning process it was like so easy, so when I hear these stories, I’m like, I can’t believe someone would act like that, or like, treat somebody like that, especially in like, the era of being engaged and planning your wedding, like it’s such a sentimental time, and something that you think about like for the rest of your life, and like for somebody to ruin it, because of their poor attitude, I’m like, how unfortunate, Is that that happens to people.

Christa Innis: I know. I know. It’s so funny because when I post these stories, people always assume it’s because, I have a terrible mother in law too. And I’m like, no, my mother in law is amazing. Like, like I could call her up any time of the day. She’s so sweet. Like we get along great. Our family’s going on great. And so then when I hear these stories, I’m like, I could not imagine having to, like, feel like you have to, like, walk on tiptoes, or get super anxious when you have to go see his family or something, like, That’s terrifying.

Cassie Horrell: Yeah. And like, I’m sure you get this in your comments as well, but I am also sometimes surprised by how many people are like, I have this, like, this is the situation I’m in with in laws. And I’m like, hundreds and hundreds of people that like can relate to that. I’m like, that is shocking to me.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

And even when I dramatize things, like, and I’m like, Oh, this is like a really crazy character. I’ll do this. And someone will comment and they’re like, That’s almost word for word how my mother in law talks to me. And I’m like, girl, I’m so sorry. Yeah. Because I’m also someone like I hate confrontation. I’m so bad with stuff like that. So when I hear this stuff, I’m like, my stomach drops. I’m like, how do you deal with that? I would not be able to.

Cassie Horrell: No, no.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Well, that was a good story. Bad story, but a good, great,

Cassie Horrell: great story. A great story with a lot of drama.

Christa Innis: Yes. I’m very sorry for this, Bri, but thank you for sharing your story with us and I’m glad you, sounds like you’ve set up some boundaries. Where you don’t talk to her, but let’s get that husband on side. Yeah. Okay, so to end, I’m just gonna read a couple of confessions that people sent to me. People are sending me confessions on Instagram as well. I love

Cassie Horrell: this.

The Nine-Hour Road Trip Request: Mother-in-Law Madness

Christa Innis: And then we’ll just share, our takes on them. Okay. I was having some guests before kind of rate them as like mild tea or chaos, but it’s kind of more fun just to kind of react to them. okay. So this one says. My mother in law wanted us to travel nine and a half hours to her while I’m 36 weeks pregnant.

Cassie Horrell: No, absolutely not. I have two kids. No. Nope, nope, nope.

Christa Innis: Same. Yeah, I’d be like, no, thank you. I barely wanted to travel, like, to the store when I was 36 weeks pregnant,

Cassie Horrell: so. Yeah, and you can’t, like, you would have to drive. You can’t even get on a plane at that time. Exactly. Like, you would have to drive there, and like, how uncomfortable, and what if something happens, and you’re nine and a half hours from home, like, that’s where you have to go to have your baby. Those aren’t your doctors. Crazy. That’s crazy. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Like, you can come to me if you really want to.

Cassie Horrell: Exactly.

Christa Innis: This person says the bride and groom shouldn’t set invites to family members who they don’t have a relationship with.

Cassie Horrell: Now, I’m like, I’m pro that. Like, I kind of support that. I’m always like, and I see it from the other side, like, just because your family doesn’t entitle you to an invitation, I do.

I think that if you are curating a guest list that is like, you want to be surrounded by people that are supportive of you, involved in your life, then like, why are you sending invitations to your fourth cousins that you’ve never met?

Christa Innis: It can look

Cassie Horrell: a little bit like a money grab, but then I also see it on the other side, where I’m like, people just have big families, they’re not close with everybody.

that doesn’t mean they don’t want to come and support the couple.

Christa Innis: So.

Cassie Horrell: I see it both ways.

Christa Innis: I know. I know. It’s hard. It’s like, I feel like traditionally it was like, invite everybody that like, your parents, friends, your parents, second cousins and stuff. But now I feel like people are getting better about, okay, well, what can we fit in our budget? or do we want to be surrounded by people that we personally know? And I think it just goes down to like, as the bride and groom, what do you two want and go from there? I guess that was more of like a. Opinion, Alyssa Confession. Okay, this last one, at my oldest brother’s wedding, my cousins and I secretly bet on how long it would last.

Betting on the Marriage: Wedding Guests Gone Too Far

Cassie Horrell: I think that’s a little bit funny, but also I’m like, hopefully your cousin’s picking like a good imagine you would wish for a lifetime of happiness. But I’ve had friends in this situation where like I go to the wedding and I’m like, I don’t know if this is it for them. In the back of my mind, I don’t say it out loud, right.

It’s in the back of my mind.

Christa Innis: I know, that is a little bit of a hot take there of like going, but I mean I’m sure like it’s, you kind of think about it because you’re at a wedding and you’re like okay, here’s to like forever. I’ve definitely been to a wedding and Spoiler alert, they did get in a divorce, and I’m not friends with the girl, not because of that, but it’s a whole other thing, but at the wedding I was like, this is doomed, and I hate to say that, because never thought that other than this wedding, I was like, this is, or no, I’m sorry, there’s been two, and they both I have

Cassie Horrell: two.

And so did mine. They ended in a divorce or separation. So I’m like

Christa Innis: Well, and they both, both of them had red flags before. Like, literally, the bride was crying to us at her bachelorette party. And we were like, if you need to get out, like, tell us what you need. Like, we’ll help you. No, no, no. It’s fine. Day before the wedding, after the rehearsal dinner, sobbing in the car. I don’t want to do this. We already spent so much money.

Cassie Horrell: And that happens, like, there is people that that happens to, like, they go through with it because they feel like their parents or themselves or whoever’s contributing have already paid all of this money and it’s like, we don’t want to cancel it, like, but at the end of the day, it’s like, it’s canceling your wedding because you know, it’s not the right match better than a divorce one year later.

Christa Innis: Exactly. And that’s going to be costly too, so, just turn it into a big party. Everyone’s traveling in. Have a big party. Exactly. Exactly. I mean, I know it’s easier said than done, but right, definitely. all right. Well, that was the last one. Well, thank you so much for coming on. This was, yeah, this was a blast. can you tell everyone where they can follow you? Any other projects you’re working on and all that good stuff?

Cassie Horrell: Yes. So, you could follow me. Wedding podcasts. I am mainly on TikTok, but I’m starting to branch out. Instagram, I am getting a couple things in the works for YouTube. I do not have it in me to do a podcast, but I love being a guest on the podcast.

So this is amazing . a couple projects I’m working on. So I have created. And a lot of people find me in for this is I’ve created planning courses that are very cost effective for people that are self planning and cannot afford a wedding planner. So I have always offered these to my wedding my way and three to four months till I do, which are specific to like certain timeframes of your wedding.

I am currently working on a membership, which will be like an alternative way of planning where you basically have like a video vault and constant courses and things being uploaded. And I just wrote two children’s books that are specific to, like, Flower Girl and Ring Bear, and about the ABCs of weddings. So, I am in the phase of illustrating those, and hopefully those will come out sometime early 2025.

Christa Innis: Oh, that’s so cool! How awesome. You, like, you do it all. You’ve got a lot of projects. My brain doesn’t stop.

Cassie Horrell: It’s like I have an idea and I’m like, yeah, I’m just going to go for it. have no clue what I’m doing out here.

I’m just having fun and going with the flow.

Christa Innis: I love it. It’s that like planner mindset where you’re just like, okay, let’s just do it. Let’s get busy and find something. I love that. well, when those are available, definitely send me links and stuff and we can get it in the show notes. Well, thank you so much for coming on.

That was so fun having you react. Like I said, had some people tag you in like comments and stuff and now I follow your stuff and I like I love your content because you’re so involved in the wedding stuff that you’ve got stories for days so yeah

Cassie Horrell: but I feel like we have a very similar audience because we’re storytellers and like my whole page isn’t storytelling but Usually one a day, I try to tell stories and I get the same, like, people will be like, Did you see her story? And they’ll tag me, and I’m like, Oh, I saw it. That’s a juicy one. Yes.

Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s so good. I, can’t stop watching the, drama stories. They just, those ones just get me. Like, I love it.

Cassie Horrell: I feel like they’re like, a little bit of, like, reprieve from people’s everyday life.

Like, they come and they watch our stories, and it’s like, a minute and a half of like, totally Drama that they’re not in.

Christa Innis: Yes. And they get

Cassie Horrell: their little fix for the day, and then they’re like, Okay, I’ll come back tomorrow, like, see the next part, or whatever’s going on.

Christa Innis: Yes, yeah, it’s a good little, little break from reality, I think.

Yes. Awesome. Well, thank you so much again for coming on. It was awesome chatting with you. Thank you so much.

All right, guys, that was my interview with Cassie. I love chatting with her. It’s so fun to hear from someone that is so involved in the wedding industry. She’s got a lot of hot takes and she has. Honestly seen it all. So, thank you, Cassie, for coming on. Just a reminder, guys, if you love this episode or loving this podcast, please leave a review on Apple podcast.

It really helps more people hear the podcast. And helps me create more amazing content for you. so I really appreciate all the support that this podcast has gotten so far, and I can’t wait for more people to hear it and to create some more content. If you also have suggestions of who you want to see next on the podcast, feel free to send me an email, send me some submissions.

I cannot wait to share more stories with more people. All right, guys, thanks so much for tuning in and I will see you next time.

by Christa Innis

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