Bridal party chaos

Would you still call her a bridesmaid if she skipped your wedding… to buy a car?

I’m diving into one of the wildest submissions yet, the friend who threw a fit over a free mustard dress, ghosted the bridal prep, and flat-out didn’t show on the wedding day because her parents were offended. Yes. It gets worse.

I also react to a viral Bridezilla story packed with outrageous demands, from $2,000 bridesmaid costs to rewriting heartfelt toasts. Plus, I roast some spicy wedding takes that had me saying, make it make sense!

Note: This is a re-share of a previously Patreon-only episode — now unleashed for everyone who loves a little bridal chaos.

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Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

01:50 Bridesmaid Boot Camp: Wedding Trivia

04:45 Bridesmaid Confessionals: Real Stories

10:48 Wedding 911: Listener Dilemmas

15:52 Bridezilla Court: Reddit Stories

16:09 Bridesmaid Drama Unfolds

17:02 Bachelorette Party Demands

18:35 Wedding Budget Woes

19:45 Bridesmaid Appearance Control

20:31 Bridesmaid Costs and Expectations

23:04 Savage Wedding Takes

26:31 Crazy Wedding Confession

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

• The Mustard Dress Meltdown – A bridesmaid spirals over a gifted dress and turns the friendship icy.
• The No-Show That Shocked Me – She skipped my wedding for a brand-new car purchase. Priorities?
• Bridezilla Reddit Deep Dive – From insane budgets to forced Vegas trips, this bride broke every rule.
• Savage Wedding Takes – Family pressure, glam expectations, and MOH salary debates get roasted.
• Patreon Confessions Unlocked – Behind-the-scenes chaos now shared with the full drama squad.
• Boundaries vs Bonding – When being “too nice” costs you peace — and a dress.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

• “If you’re mad about a free dress, maybe the dress isn’t the problem.” – Christa Innis
• “The second someone tells me to dye my hair for a wedding? I’m out.” – Christa Innis
• “This isn’t a royal coronation, it’s a ceremony… relax.” – Christa Innis
• “Some people don’t want to be in your wedding — they want a front row seat to complain.” – Christa Innis
• “At that point? That’s not a bridesmaid. That’s emotional sabotage in heels.” – Christa Innis

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

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A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of, Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host Christa. This is a very special episode if you can see me. I’m wearing my Grinch sweatshirt and my very merry holiday headband, which ironically was the quote unquote villain in one of our recent skits with a Elise and Paige.

But I love this headband. It’s very festive. Um, today is Christmas. Um, I’m recording this like a month in advance though, so my mind can’t quite wrap around that yet. Um, being a mom or just I guess anyone really just automatically puts me in the panic of checklists, what things I need to get done for the holidays and, you know, all that good stuff, whether it’s work, personal, family, everything.

I feel like I’ve been recording so much just to catch up. Um, so that’s why my mind’s just kind of all over the place. So if you are feeling that way because of the holidays or whatever’s going on, I’m right there with you. Um, so this week’s gonna be a little different because, um, it’s the holidays and preparing for that.

I’m taking a little, little time off recording because. There’s so many other projects, you know how that goes. Um, so today I am actually gonna play a prerecorded episode that was originally made for my Patreon. And if you guys have been with me for a little while, you know, I didn’t do Patreon for that long.

Just felt like I was being pulled in so many directions and I really wanted to give my full attention to, um, my podcast. So it was a lot to record those extra episodes. So. Um, I’m gonna do a couple wedding dilemmas that were sent to me. Give some advice on those, and then we’re gonna jump right into this episode from Patreon called Bridesmaids. Then we’re gonna jump right into a Patreon episode that was called Confessions of a Bridesmaid Secrets Scandals and Wedding Woes.

So first, let’s jump into these little wedding dilemmas that were sent over to me. They’re of course, of course, anonymous. These are ones that people send me. You can DM me, you can email me, whatever that is.

The Mother-in-Law Dance Dilemma & Thank You That Triggered Me

“Okay, it says, hi Christa. I was wondering if I could get some of your advice. My daughter is getting married in a few months and we absolutely adore our son and we absolutely adore our soon to be son-in-law. However, my future son-in-law has an on again off again relationship with his mother. She has stated many times to anyone willing to listen that she is not attending the wedding, she already knows that she will be in so much pain that day because of their estranged relationship. Is it okay for me to offer him a mother-in-law, son-in-law dance so he is not left out of that special moment of his day, or would that make things worse after the wedding if she really doesn’t show up and see pictures of that? Please let me know what you’d think. I’d love to get your advice on this. Love all your skits.”

Okay. This is a very complicated situation, right? I, first and foremost, I think it’s amazing that you’re thinking of him on his wedding day and how you can help make it better. Ultimately, I think you need to talk to your daughter and see if this is something that she would support and thinks that she’d be comfortable with.

Um. And it’s gonna ultimately be their decision because I get it, you wanna help, you also don’t wanna overstep. Um, like I said, it’s a very complicated thing. Relationships are complicated and yes, you don’t want the mother to be hurt. Um, and if she, but she’s already made it very clear, I’m not going to the wedding, it’s very estranged for me.

It’s gonna be very painful. So at that point. Talk to your daughter. If she seems okay with it, then I would talk to him, take the pressure off. Just be like, I just wanna offer this. If by chance you wanted to take me up on it, I’m there to help you in any way I can. And then let them ultimately decide you don’t want them to be put in a place where they feel like they have to say yes, and you don’t want him to feel, um, uncomfortable, like, or kind of put in a corner where he’s like, yeah.

I can’t say no, or I can’t say no to you because, or I can’t say yes to you because my mom’s gonna see something. Um, so. It’s really just communication with them first and, and every relationship’s gonna be completely different. Some people are gonna hear this and be like, absolutely not. That’s overstepping.

Other people are gonna say Yes, absolutely. So if you have a close relationship with him, you guys respect each other and you look at him like a son, then I don’t see any personal problem with it. Talk to your daughter first. Get her approval and if she’s okay with it and loves the idea, then I would move forward and ask him.

I love that though. I think that’s that’s a great way to. Step in the role and show that you are taking him in as part of the family.

Okay, this one says. The baby delivery skit. My husband was best man and his friend and our kids’ godparents wedding. That was a week after my due date. We got the invite the same week I found out I was pregnant. Anyway, they are very close, and my mother-in-law was going to be here to help with our toddler.

So I said that in this one instance he could go because they were so close and he was the best man, but only if our baby had been born since the wedding was out of state. Anyway, baby was born a few days early, so he went to the wedding and gave them a fairly expensive gift. We just got the thank you card and it was only addressed to him with a thoughtful note about him still still going to the wedding.

I’m sorry, but the gift was from both of us, and I was an equal participant in him being able to go, despite me being a weak postpartum with a toddler. Why am I so triggered by this? Okay. I read this and I was like. Kind of shocked. Like I would never just thank the husband whether he couldn’t come or not.

Um, at our wedding, we actually had a best man who, um, his wife had just given birth, I wanna say maybe a month or two prior. So it was very clear that she wasn’t gonna be able to come, and we completely understood that. We would never have just said thank you to him only for coming. We wrote a thank you to the whole family because we really appreciated the gift no matter what.

And the fact that she let him go or he was able to go, I shouldn’t say let him, but that he was able to go. Despite just having a child, um, was meant a lot to us that he still made the Far Trek. So I get being triggered by it. I wouldn’t get hung up on it because some people just don’t understand etiquette.

Um, but for me personally, I would still think the think the wife, of course, because you guys are a partnership. Um. And I would absolutely be writing that out to both people. So that’s my personal take on that. If you guys are watching this on YouTube, comment below what you would think. I wouldn’t only thank people that came to the wedding.

That’s just the same as people that couldn’t come to the wedding for some reason and still sent a gift. I wouldn’t not send them a thank you because they weren’t physically at the wedding. If they sent a gift, they participated in any way, shape, or form. I’m gonna be sending them a thank you. All right guys.

That’s all I have. Of course we’re gonna jump into that prerecorded episode. But before we get to that, I just wanna take a moment to say thank you all for being here. I’m so grateful, especially, um, this time of year, I think it’s just a real, a time to really just look back and just be grateful for everything.

Um, so I wanna wish you all a warm and peaceful holiday season no matter what you celebrate, or even if this time of year is just really stressful and you just can’t wait for it to be over. I just really hope you find moments of rest, joy, and connection. So without further ado, please enjoy my Patreon episode, confessions of a Bridesmaid, secret Scandals and Wedding Woes.

Christa Innis: Today we’re focusing all on bridesmaids. As I should know a thing or two since I’ve been a bridesmaid. Including twice made of honor almost 10 times and I’ve seen and heard it all plus I’ve gotten millions of stories from you guys.

So let’s kind of walk through what you can expect for this episode First up is going to be bridesmaid boot camp. It’s going to be a rapid fire guessing game to test your wedding knowledge. we’re going to have bridesmaid confessional, real unfiltered confessions from the archives.

Next is going to be wedding 911 listener dilemmas where I dish out my best advice. So we’re going to see just what comes up when you guys, , want some advice. the next segment is going to be called bridezilla court, a wild bridesmaid story caught straight from the depths of Reddit. Then we’re going to go right into here comes the roast spicy takes on wedding trends.

So I’m going to give you guys my honest take on some of these crazy things that come up. And last but not least, what would one of my episodes be without a crazy bridesmaid story? So, nothing quite. Brings out the drama, like a real life story, right? So I’ve got one from the archives that, I’ve not read yet.

So we’re going to react in real time together. grab a drink, settle in and let’s kick off this series with some major bridesmaid drama. Okay. First up is bridesmaid boot camp. So I’m going to go through these rapid fire trivia questions and throw some wedding facts at you, and you just do your best guess, , as you’re listening.

Bridesmaids: From Roman Armor to $6,800 Dresses

Okay, number one, true or false. Bridesmaids used to dress like the bride to confuse evil spirits. This is True. In ancient Rome, brides made stress identically to the bride to ward off evil spirits and potential kidnappers. Imagine dealing with that kind of drama. So it’s kind of funny how it’s changed so much over the years.

It used to be like, let’s distract everyone from the actual bride so she can get married and no one can try to, like, take her or, throw drama on her day. Now it’s like, don’t look anything like the bride unless she specifically requests it. Okay, number two. What’s the most expensive bridesmaid dress ever recorded?

Okay, so when I saw this question, I’m like thinking of what I’ve spent on bridesmaid dresses luckily the most of them I’ve spent like 99. I’ve spent a few that were over 200 But for the most part I would say around 150 it was like average the most ready for it 6, 800. It was a Vera Wang dress for a celebrity wedding and no, the bride did not cover the cost. Guys, that is insane. That is like a mortgage that has twice, triple a mortgage. I don’t even know. Like that is insane to spend on a dress. I mean, I guess if it’s a celebrity wedding, they have the money to spend.

I don’t know. I don’t know. Okay. Number three, bridesmaid duties used to include what unusual task. Okay. There’s a lot that has changed over the years. So You might think of this, but I don’t know. I was kind of shocked by it holding onto the dowry and guarding the bride on the way to the groom’s house.

So basically the bridesmaids were the original wedding security team. The dowry is a transfer of wealth, property, or money from the bride’s family. And so. They would protect this to the groom or its family as part of the marriage arrangement. I’m like, that’s like a lot of pressure on a bridesmaid. I’m glad that’s not the case anymore.

Like, I’m glad we’re just there for fun and support and, you know, all that good stuff. Okay, the last one, number four. In what country is it considered bad luck for bridesmaids to wear matching dresses? This is so funny because we used to do matching dresses all the time in the U. S. The answer is China. In China, it’s believed matching dresses attract bad energy so bridesmaids wear different colors.

Okay, I love this because we’re kind of getting away from the trend of wearing matching dresses. even like my own wedding, it was, I had like a specific like family of colors and then all the bridesmaids were able to pick out their own style because I feel like Everyone has their own style, their own body type. Like let’s not shove everyone in the same dress.

Okay, next up, we’re going to do some bridesmaid confessionals. Dun, dun, dun. Okay. that’s my own, music we got going on here. Okay. Here we go. I’m just going to react to these in real time, guys.

Just Say No: Navigating Bridesmaid Pressure and Wedding Drama

I said no to being a bridesmaid at my brother’s wedding because I don’t approve of his choice, or him in general. Okay, so this is a two part thing. So it’s not just that she doesn’t approve of the new guy or girl coming in, she does not approve of her brother. I mean, there’s a backstory here. There’s some drama here that I’m very curious about. My thought is Okay, well, here’s the thing.

Here’s where I want to go with this. There is so much pressure to say yes to being in a wedding because it’s your brother, sister, whoever’s wedding. And I want to give the free will to everyone right now, if you don’t know you already have it, but you can say no to being in a wedding. I know, it’s crazy thought.

But here’s the thing, like, there’s so much pressure being in a wedding and if you don’t enjoy that or you don’t support the couple, don’t say yes, because you’re going to be miserable. like lucky for me. And that’s probably why I talk about weddings and stuff. I love weddings. I love being a part of weddings.

there was a time. I would say late 20s, I was in a wedding like every single year, if not a couple a year, and I loved it. I love being crafty. I love seeing how I can be useful and helpful, but it’s exhausting. You’re spending a lot of money. You’re spending a lot of time. That’s also pre kids, like, I was married.

So I had a lot more free time. Now, if I was in a wedding, It would be a lot harder. It’d be a lot more Zoom stuff and, traveling would be a lot more harder, and so it’s okay to say no. you gotta know your own limits and what you’re interested in. Okay, next confession.

I said no. Friend insisted. I kept saying no. The bride had a full on meltdown and wouldn’t stop.

I finally said yes to being a bridesmaid and 2, 000 later is what I spent. I should have stuck with no. Here we go. This is a common theme. If you have a gut feeling and want to say no, please say no. The fact that the bride had a full on meltdown because you said no, that’s not a bride. This is someone that just wants you up there as a number.

Or other bridesmaids, said no to her already. And so she’s putting the pressure on you to say yes. 000 later, no. I’m curious what that was all on. My guess is we’re talking dress, shoes, hair, makeup, maybe a bachelorette party, a gift. Those things add up. So even if you’re like, I don’t want to spend a lot of money, little things add up.

 if the bride really wanted you to be a part of the wedding and said like, I’ll pay for your dress or I’ll help you with blank. Then sure, but a no means no. even if you have the money and you just don’t want to be in the wedding, that’s up to you. That’s terrible.

Financial Fiascos: When Bridesmaids Go Broke for Weddings

Okay, next confession. The first time I was a maid of honor, I was in complete shock. I had no idea the protocol. I went into debt. Wait, what? You went into debt. I had no idea I was responsible for the wedding party dresses. Whoa, in what wedding? And gifts for everybody. You got scammed. You got scammed. You should not be paying for somebody’s wedding party dresses and the gifts as the maid of honor.

No, no, absolutely not. Bridesmaid gifts are from the bride. That’s it. End of story. And those aren’t even like a guarantee. Every wedding that I’ve been in, There was a different type of gift. I never expected one from the bride, but the maid of honor never bought the gifts It’s not the maid of honor’s responsibility.

You got scammed You got used by a friend whoever you were the maid of honor for and I am so sorry you went into debt you guys Oh my gosh. I feel so bad for this bride. Here’s the thing. It’s hard when you are the first out of your friend group maybe like the first bride or you’re the first maid of honor or first bridesmaid and it’s hard to ask, like, what’s expected?

I don’t understand this. And then you say yes. And if you come from different backgrounds or you have different, finances, financial situations. It’s going to be hard to afford the same things. And especially I have found in your twenties, people are at just completely different levels. I was invited to a bachelorette party once, and I was a bridesmaid and they wanted to go to, I don’t even remember what it was, maybe Ibiza.

And I was like, you know what? You guys go and have a great time. I’m going to sit this one out because I don’t even remember how old I was. Maybe 27. I was like, I do not have the money to go to Ibiza. I just don’t. and it’s gonna be like a long, trip. I was just like, you know, if I’m gonna go out of the country, I’m gonna plan a trip with my now husband.

But, yeah, so We need to know our own limits and be okay with saying no to people because it’s just if the bride is expecting you to spend all that money and cares more about her day than your own finances and your own, your friendship, they’re not a friend. They’re not a friend.

Okay, this kind of goes into like both sections. So we’re gonna just gonna read this as a confession. I have a situation for you. My cousin was invited to be a bridesmaid at her friend’s wedding. At the time, the friend didn’t know what she was doing for the wedding. So it was just preliminary.

Later, the friend decided it was going to be a destination wedding. This significantly increased the cost of everything to do with the wedding. Yeah. Yeah, that one. My cousin had just bought a house and could not afford to be a bridesmaid anymore. She told her friend, and the girl said that she could take out a loan.

What? Take out a loan to be in the wedding? No, we’re not doing that. We’re not taking out loans for people. That is the worst financial advice I’ve ever heard. I’m not a financial expert, but I know that’s bad advice. My cousin right, rightly thought that was ridiculous and they haven’t spoken since. Okay.

This bride, this is a bridezilla. This is a bridezilla. We’re not doing that. We’re not telling people to get loans to be in our wedding. If someone says I can’t, like, if I really, really, really wanted someone to be there, like, let’s say it was like a best friend of mine, she said, Hey, I just bought a house.

I can’t afford to be there. I’d be like, you know what, let me cover it for you. Don’t worry about any expenses. If she still said no, I’d be like, you know what? support that. You’re still my friend. Like, let’s hang out another time. This is ridiculous. We are we’re not treating our friends that way. That is insane.

Okay. Segment number three, wedding 911. I got some listener disasters that we are going to talk through right now and, see what kind of advice I give them. And just a little disclaimer here. I’m no expert. I don’t give the best advice. I just give advice for what works for me. And a lot of times my advice might end with, well, whatever works best for you. So I’ll give some scenarios and, what I think might be a good idea. But you know your situation best. So more power to you. Here we go. 

No More Pressure: Bridesmaid Boundaries 101

Help. The bride just told us we all have to wear shapewear and lose weight to look uniform. I’m sorry, in the bridesmaid dresses. No, I’m already saying no. I’m fuming. Do I push back or suck it up?

Suck it up? No, no, no, no, no, no, we’re not doing that. I would say thank you for your time. Thank you for your friendship gonna have to walk away now because a friend that cares more about my body size and my shape and a wedding dress does not care about me. There’s no sucking it up for someone like that. No, someone that literally tells you to lose weight I’m anti losing weight for your wedding.

I’m pro do what makes you feel the best for your wedding day, but we don’t need to shed for the wedding. unless that you or yourself are like, Hey, I’d like to like lose some weight. Sure. More power to you. But no, we’re not having people tell us that we need to lose weight. We need to love our bodies the way we love them.

Okay. Next one. My best friend is getting married. And she expects us to chip in for her dream bachelorette party weekend in Minocos. I love her, but I can’t afford this. How do I tell her without running the friendship? Okay. This is easy for me coming from an outside perspective. Cause I get it when it’s like your own friend, but your friend, that’s not your friend.

That’s not your friend. She expects you to chip in for her dream bachelorette.

I get it. So with all my, friend groups, when I was a bridesmaid, we would all chip in for these different bachelorette parties, split the cost amongst everyone that goes. Bridesmaids pay a little bit more because they like pay for the house. And I feel like every bachelorette party was a little bit different, but that’s going to be very expensive.

I mean, you’re talking a few thousand. Probably. And here’s the thing, too. Some brides get so caught up in the social media aspect of it. Like, they want to be influencers or they want to boast about it on social media. So they want the curated, gift bags. They want the curated setup. And that just takes away from the whole thing. And this is coming from someone that loves the creative part of it. I love putting stuff together. I love making those cute little gift bags. But if you make it more about let’s post on social media and go viral, or let’s have people like ooh and ah over it, that’s taking away from the actual experience of it.

It’s supposed to be about celebrating and like being friends, have a night away or a weekend away, whatever. so I would just tell her, you know, I love you. But just like you said, I love you. But I can’t afford this. I want to be there to support you in any way I can. but this is a little too much for me.

If you want to do that with your other bridesmaids and they can all afford it and are happy with it, then more power to you. Please do that. I feel like I’m saying more power to you a lot this episode. Please do that, and I would love to take you out for dinner. Blah, blah, blah. Like, for example, at my own bachelorette party, I gave no expectations. ‘I said, Hey, here’s three cities I would maybe want to go to for maybe like a long weekend.’ I told all of my bridesmaids, including my maid of honor. I said, don’t feel like you have to come, please, please. There’s no pressure to attend anything. my bridesmaids did not come and that was fine. It happens. It’s okay. One ended up coming to my town and we just went out to dinner and we had like a nice day, the two of us. I didn’t expect it. It was fine. Okay, so if telling your friend that ruins your friendship, then she wasn’t a friend to begin with. 

Next one, our bridesmaid dresses came in and mine doesn’t fit at all the boutique messed up my order and now the bride is telling me I need to pay for a new one even though it wasn’t my fault. What do I do? Okay, if it’s in fact the boutique’s fault. Like, maybe they, ordered the wrong size, they messed up your sizing, they will order you a new one. I actually was a part of a wedding once where this happened to a friend of mine who was a bridesmaid as well, they ordered her a size 2 bra big I want to say or I can’t remember the too small or too big.  And she had to go back and get them resized and they were going to order another one It was a boutique and they did it what will happen with that is they’ll just put that dress on the rack to sell at a discounted price I’m, no expert. I don’t know 100 but no. You shouldn’t have to pay for a new one if the boutique messed it up. So I would call them.

Okay, last one here is, uh, The bride just sent us a spreadsheet of wedding expenses and expects each bride to contribute 400 towards her hair, dress, and makeup. I’ve never heard of this. Do people actually do this? Okay, the only time I heard this happening is another crazy bridesmaid story where she was taking money from them and using it towards her wedding. So, no, this is not normal. You should not be paying anything for the bride. If anything, the bride should be paying for your hair and makeup.

So, we’re gonna say no to that. And, again, if she says, well, then you can’t be in the wedding, then you say, well, have a great day. I will look at the pictures later.

Okay, segment number four. Here we go. Bridezilla court. You be the judge. I did some research and I found a crazy Reddit story. This kept coming up as like a very crazy one. So here we go. I have not read the whole thing Let’s react you be the judge who’s in the wrong here. 

16 Bridesmaids, 1 Nightmare Bride

This bride has 16 girls to be bridesmaids in the year and a half between the engagement and the wedding all But six dropped out Three of them were her sisters. Wait, so three of the six that dropped out were her sisters? Okay, that’s That’s a bad sign. What’s going on here? If she has 16 and 6 dropped out, I’m no math whiz, but that’s like 40%. She insisted on 16 different shades of blue and 16 unique dress styles for each bridesmaid. Then threw a fit when the store didn’t have that many options.

Well, why don’t you look first to see like, hey, does this store have, dress options and then we’re gonna like bring the bridesmaids in. That’s a lot of shades of blue. She’d probably want it to look like, dark to light and like they’re perfectly lined up. Like that’s like very I mean, that would look very beautiful.

However, it’s not really practical. I don’t know. She demanded that everyone pay for a week long bachelorette party in Vegas, including covering her share. Okay, so here’s the thing. I mentioned how all the bachelorette parties I’ve gone on, we cover for the bride. That’s just what we do. And I’ve paid everywhere from a couple hundred dollars.

Actually, probably the lowest was like a hundred dollars when I was 20. And all the way to probably like 1, 500, 2, 000 for like a full like week long trip that we did one time. That being said, the bride never, never said, you have to do this. The bride even tried to pay for her part. She did not demand that everyone had to come. She did not demand it was a week long. Like we planned all this stuff and it’s one of my best friends and all best friends went. So it was like a girl’s trip. that is insane.

She got angry when bridesmaids opted out. I was a single mom and college student at the time.Her parents gave her 20, 000 budget for the wedding, but she ended up spending 100, 000. How do you spend 100, 000 when you don’t have it? I don’t know. Also these days if she’s planning a big fancy wedding, 20, 000 unfortunately does not cover a lot. it’s insane how expensive they are. She insisted they cover the difference.

Okay, I don’t know how this parent -adult relationship works. They took out a loan and they are still paying it off. Okay, what’s with these loans? So she overspent for the wedding and her parents took out a loan to pay for it. See that is terrible. That’s the keeping up the Joneses things that I hate.

If you cannot afford it, Why are we having these crazy over the top weddings if you cannot afford it? At that point, it’s more about the show. It’s more about people’s perception of you and less about the actual marriage. And I swear, like, so many of these end up in divorce, like, I know that’s, very generalization, but like, because they don’t focus on the actual, like, hey, we’re stepping into marriage together. They’re like, literally just making it about this big day. Like, yes, we want the day to be special and exciting, and yes, it’s gonna be cost some money, but when you do all this, it’s like, no, that just takes away from it.

Okay, she wanted all the bridesmaids to have their hair color the same, and even asked the two blondes to dye their hair? They declined. Okay, the second I’m asked at my hair for a wedding, I’m out. Despite paying for nothing for the bridesmaids, traditionally the bride covers at least one expense, like dresses or hair and makeup. She demanded that we purchase specific shoes, jewelry, dresses, and cover our own hair and makeup.

So this is the thing too, Like in my own wedding, I had a makeup artist and I had a hairstylist. I said, you guys want hair and makeup, let me know. It is not a requirement. I had some that did their own hair and makeup. I had some that just did their own hair. Some that just did their own makeup. Whatever they wanted was up to them. I would never demand something and then not pay for it myself. Not pay for it for them.

Okay. On top of that, she required everyone to stay the entire weekend at the hotel where she was getting married. I don’t get this required thing. Like, how is she gonna, make you do that? In total, the cost excluding a wedding gift ended up being over 2, 000 per bridesmaid. That actually sounds low. When I look at all the things that she asked for, if you’re talking about a week in Vegas, that’s gonna be 2, 000 itself. Talking about flight, you’re talking about meals, you’re talking about hotel, that alone is gonna be like 1, 500 or 2, 000.

This was a largely poor to middle class area and most of us are college age. There is no way in college I would have been spending that. The bachelorette parties that I to in college were one night, we usually stayed at someone’s house or a cheap hotel, and we went to bars. That’s what we did. So I would maybe have spent a hundred dollars. Maybe two, depending on how crazy.

There’s no way I’ve been spending that in college. She also had three separate engagement parties and bridal showers. No, no, just, I don’t even know what to say to that. The final straw for me was that she demanded to review my toast a month before the wedding so she could edit it. So I’m guessing this is a maid of honor that wrote this. Then she completely rewrote it herself.

I don’t even have anything to say to this bride, because this is just all terrible. this is so terrible. Okay, someone writing a toast or a speech for your wedding or engagement party or whatever event is supposed to be, like, comes from their heart. They do it to say words that, mean something to them. To, like, make you feel good on your day. If you rewrite it yourself, what’s the point? literally, what’s the point?

Oh, here we go. At that point, I decided to skip the wedding altogether and ended our friendship. So, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. They did end up getting married, and six plus years later, he seems absolutely miserable.

So we’re looking from afar, it sounds like they’re not friends anymore. He looks miserable, so they spent all this money. so, I’m wondering if she’s one of the six that dropped out. I, gosh, I have so many questions, but I’m also like, this girl sounds terrible. It makes me wonder, like, if they had a feeling, gut feeling that this bride was gonna act this way, or if it was one of those where as soon as she got engaged, like, a bridezilla just turned on.

I’ve never experienced this first hand. All the times I’ve been a bridesmaid, I’ve never, never seen any of the brides act in this way. They’d all been friends I’d been friends with for a while. Some of the engagements were long, some were really short. They were all different, but. I had never seen bridesmaid behavior like this.

This is insane. Yeah, I would have been long gone. I don’t know about you guys.

Alright, segment number five. Here comes the roast. These are some savage wedding takes. I don’t know how savage I’ll get, but we’ll see. Alright.

Bridesmaids: Close Ties, Clear Expectations 

Here’s my opinion. First things first, asking people to be in your wedding just because they’re family. Oh, I think I talked about this earlier, but no, if you’re not super close with someone or you just don’t want them in your wedding. You do not have to ask them because here’s the thing. I hear so many stories where the parents pressure siblings to ask, you know, the other sibling to be in the wedding maid of honor, best man and they purposely don’t ask them because they don’t have that relationship they can’t trust them with certain responsibilities and then when they give in and they have them in. They are so let down because they’re not giving the speech, they’re forgetting the rings, they’re forgetting their dress, they’re not eyeing on the dress, and I’ve seen it all before.

I saw one recently where she I was asked to have her sister in the wedding, her younger sister, who had little to no responsibilities. The sister just complained the whole time. Showed up with like a wrinkly dress, couldn’t even iron the dress. And it’s just, you gotta listen to your gut. I don’t think you should have someone in the wedding just because they’re family.

Okay. This next one. Ooh, okay. If you have 10 plus bridesmaids, you just wanted an audience. I disagree with this. I disagree with this. I’m sure it happens sometimes where you just ask people just to have a big wedding. But I’ve been in weddings where there were 12 bridesmaids and let me tell you the bride had a really close and great relationship with each person.

It was a big Italian wedding for a couple. I’m trying to think actually there’s been a few. Yeah, there was one with ten, one with eleven, one with twelve. I had nine bridesmaids, I know. but there’s some different like points in my life. So we’re talking about college friends, we’re talking about cousins, siblings, high school friends, post high school friends, and then like I have two sister in laws, so you have to think about just what makes sense for you. I’ve also been in weddings where there were just three bridesmaids, and that was awesome too. I’ve been to weddings where there’s no bridesmaids, so that’s such a general statement that I have to disagree with it because I’ve seen it firsthand where, like, one of my best friends, she had, ten, where it was sister, cousin, four from college, four from high school, and then a couple, and then, like, another friend. I think I’m adding that up right. yeah, so you just don’t really know.

Okay, next one. Bridesmaids shouldn’t be expected to get full glam. Yeah, I 100 percent agree with that. I think,if you expect them to have you better be paying for it. If not, no. but me personally, have them do what is comfortable for them. Because if they’re not used to wearing makeup, why make them wear makeup on your wedding day?

Last one. The maid of honor role should come with a salary. Oh my god, it’s hilarious. No, I I mean, it’s funny because like. The first time I was ever in a wedding, I was a maid of honor, so I was 20, for my sister. And the last time I was in a wedding, I was a matron of honor, and I was 6 or 7 months pregnant. it was completely different, and I’m also like, early 30s compared to years old.

So my expectations were different, the role was different, how much money I spent was different, right? But, I don’t think either of those times were the times I spent the most or did the most for the wedding. Just because it was different times in our lives, right? So I think you can be as involved as you want to be, and it just depends on the, bride you’re working with. But I get it. I get it. I think there needs to be clear transparency of what you’re expected of, and then if you cannot perform what they want, then we gotta say no.

Okay. Segment number six, the final segment, which I think you guys are all waiting for. You guys love these stories, and I love them too because it’s so fun to react. live with you guys. okay. So this is a final confession crazy wedding story. This was a story submission. Someone sent to me It’s doozy here. Okay. I’ve not read it. So let’s react together. 

The Bridesmaid Who Didn’t Show: Dress Drama & No-Shows

I had a really good friend Lauren [names have been changed] who I asked to be my bridesmaid And I thought it’d be great since we got along so well. I struggled to pick a dress color for my bridesmaids because they all had different complexions and hair colors.

Two girls were pale with blonde hair, one was tan with blonde hair, one was pale with red hair, one was Hispanic with darker hair, and black hair. I finally settled on a pale mustard yellow dress with small floral details that I really liked. Since I knew not everyone would love my choice. I bought the dresses for my bridesmaids as a gift.

Yeah. Okay. I think that’s fine. However, as soon as Lauren saw a picture of this dress, she threw a fit. I can’t imagine throwing a fit when you are a bridesmaid in a wedding for someone else, and they buy you the dress. I’m just like, you know what, girl, it’s your style, whatever. Yeah, maybe later I’ll be like, okay, it wasn’t the best fit for me, but whatever.

She said I was trying to make her look hideous. I tried to ignore her complaints since I had already bought the dress and all she had to do was pick it up from my house before the wedding. So I’m wondering how this all worked. Did they send you their measurements or did they go somewhere and get measured and you’re like, surprise, here’s the dress.

I’m one, like I said earlier, I’m one for her individuality. Let’s let them pick their own, style for their body type. And hard like finding a color that everyone likes and is gonna look good in. Mustard yellow. that’s a different color. I’ve, can’t say I’ve ever seen it as a bridesmaid dress, like personally.

So I get it, but hey. Again, if one of my best friends were like, Hey, this is the dress I want you to wear, I’d be like, let’s do it. since I got married in 2020, there were all kinds of lockdowns and restrictions, and the number of people allowed to gather kept changing. The general consensus was that groups of fewer than 10 people were okay as long as no one felt sick. 

So my bridal shower was really just my bridesmaids and me prepping decorations and finishing last minute wedding projects. Side note, we had a very small, socially distanced ceremony followed by a drive thru reception. So it was completely safe, but I still had decorations to worry about. Okay, interesting. All my bridesmaids came over except Lauren. I assumed she was just running late, but as time passed, the rest of us got caught up in conversations and before I knew it, three hours had gone by and she still hadn’t shown up.

Okay, how do you, just completely forget about a bridesmaid? That’s crazy, but I mean, get like you’re just talking other people, but I feel like things were already rocky before if you weren’t noticing her there or kind of just slipped your mind.

She’s not very important. I don’t know. I hate to like throw that out there, but that’s the vibe I’m getting, she still hadn’t shown up. I called her freaking out because I thought she’d been in a car accident or something terrible had happened. She didn’t answer and I was genuinely worried. Then, 30 minutes later, she pulled up to my house in a brand new car. What? Apparently, she had decided on a whim to buy a car that afternoon and didn’t bother to let me know that she was running late. At that point, I was frustrated, but my wedding was the next day, so I just handed her the bridesmaid dress and told her I’d see her tomorrow.

Yikes, okay. so this is the shower, quote unquote, that happened the night before the wedding. This bridesmaid was already mad about the dress color, saying it’s, she wants her to look bad. It sounds like things weren’t really worked out beforehand. She’s not showing up to this, thing, but then the wedding is the next day. I don’t have hopes for her.

Okay, here we go. I was right. Well, she didn’t show up to the wedding at all. It turned out her parents were offended that I hadn’t invited them to the ceremony and didn’t want her to go without them. What?! Okay, I don’t know their relationship, but I can’t imagine any of my friend’s parents being so mad. Like, I invited my friend’s parents, yes. But I also didn’t get married in the height of 2020, right?

And I get, cutting back on your guest list, but I can’t imagine them being so mad. They’d be like, you know what? You can’t go without me. She’s a bridesmaid! She had a commitment. I know her parents and I would have loved to invite them, distancing rules still in place, we had to keep the guest list very small.

Only immediate family and the bridal party. So she did what she had to do. Between her parents being upset and her hatred of the bridesmaid dress, she decided not to come to the wedding or reception. Here’s my guess. The bridesmaid hated the dress. Complained to her parents and said, I don’t want to go to this wedding. This is going to be terrible. Found the least opportune time to buy this car. Made sure it took a little bit longer. Just in spite of the bride picking this, quote unquote, ugly mustard yellow dress. Then, when she, the parents had to have known a while back they weren’t invited. So she keeps bringing this up and then she’s probably like, wait.

You know, it’s really weird you guys weren’t invited to this wedding. I think she doesn’t like you guys or something. So then the parents are like, you know what? I don’t think you should go. This doesn’t sound like a good friend. Because you know what that’s what people do. They turn the story to make themselves sound like the hero of the story and the other person the villain, right?

So this bridesmaid is going to be telling her parents. This is a bridezilla over here. She got me this ugly dress. You weren’t invited. She hates you guys, you know? So yeah, that’s what I’m guessing. I’ve seen her a few times since then and we’re still friends. Okay, alright, I’m sure. I still had an amazing wedding day, but I really wish she would have been there when I got married. And I definitely wish I hadn’t spent money on a bridesmaid dress she probably donated to Goodwill without ever wearing, lol.

Yeah, so that’s the thing with bridesmaids, it’s like, you want to include them as much as possible to keep them kind of like a part of it and have their own personality. That’s my own personal take, but it’s a really kind gesture to buy all the dresses.

So. There’s like this happy medium of like you don’t want to give them so much Space where it’s like we’re just standing around trying to figure out the best dress because I’ve been there I’ve been bridesmaid dress shopping where you’re literally at the shop for like five hours everyone has a different opinion everyone’s different color different style no one’s happy by the end because it’s like you’re tired, you’re hungry, you’ve been trying on the same eight dresses, so the bride needs to have an idea of what she likes and then kind of throw it out there. But again, I’m that bridesmaid where if you give me a dress and I, unless it’s like completely revealing, I’ll wear it. You give me a dress, I’ll wear it. Like I’ll make it work.

Okay, that’s a crazy story. It’s funny because I when I was first kind of thinking about this episode and how I wanted to do these kind of patreon episodes I was talking about bridesmaids The first thing that came to mind is obviously the movie bridesmaids cuz that’s like an iconic movie, right?

Just think about all of those scenes. We’re talking about trying on bridesmaid dresses. I mean think of that scene everyone has different price ranges different body types different styles that appeal to them that’s a scene that keeps popping in my mind, like, it’s hard to please everybody.

Talking about all this makes me want to watch Bridesmaids because it’s like the most iconic movie I can think of when it comes to the challenges between different personalities and people competing for top place as a bridesmaid made of honor

was gonna do like a deep dive in the movie. I was like everybody’s seen that movie So I’ll just reference it as much as possible But yeah, I don’t know it’s crazy Alright guys, well, that was a crazy first episode, I hope you guys enjoyed me blabbing about these crazy confessions, crazy bridesmaid stories, and the reddit one that, like, is honestly insane.

The stories, I get sent are just over the top. so yeah, thank you guys for hanging out with me. If you made it to the end, consider yourself officially initiated into my wedding party inner circle, the VIP crew that gets all the juiciest drama before everybody else. But don’t go anywhere just yet because next month is going to be all about Groomsmen drama. Groomsmen confessions, behind the scenes, and more tea that you won’t wanna miss. So trust me, you’ll not want to miss this one. If you love this episode, do me a huge favor. Tell one friend about this Patreon, whether it’s in your group chat, your work bestie, or that one friend that’s been to way too many weddings, just spread the word.

It really helps. Word of mouth is the ultimate wedding party tradition, so let’s keep it going there. And hey, if you have a wild groomsman story. You want to send me for the next month’s episode, please send it my way. You can DM me on social media, drop it in our exclusive Patreon chat. There’s so many ways you can send me stories these days.

So I will find it if you try to send it to me, but until next time, keep the drama fun and the champagne flowing. All right. Bye guys.