Top WILD Moments: Wedding Scams, Mother Manipulations, and Dilemma Update!

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This episode pulls together wedding stories from past guests and wedding submissions. Trust gets stretched, boundaries get ignored, and somewhere along the way family members decide the wedding is also their personal stage. 

I go back to a few of the most talked-about stories. A maid of honor situation that spirals into serious financial accusations. A honeymoon that was hijacked by a mother-in-law. And wedding after wedding where mothers and mother-in-laws shift from “supportive presence” to full-on control mode.

Because nothing brings out family and friends dynamics quite like a wedding, where old feuds show up dressed for the occasion. 

🎧 Stay for the drama, laugh at the chaos, and remember that protecting your peace is not a group decision. 

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Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

• The Maid of Honor Scam – A shocking wedding scam uncovers years of alleged financial deception and betrayal.
• A Honeymoon Hijacked – A controlling mother-in-law turns a honeymoon into chaos, forcing the newlyweds to stand united.
• Wedding Spotlight Jealousy – One bride’s mother copies her engagement ring, competes for attention, and creates drama throughout wedding planning.
• Guests Tried to Get a Discount – Mothers of the bride and groom relentlessly criticize the wedding before hinting they deserve a major discount on the celebration.
• Toxic Family Cycles – Generational patterns of manipulation, jealousy, and unhealthy family dynamics.
• Wrong People in the Room – Not everyone around the bride should be part of wedding decisions if they’re adding stress instead of support.
• Mother Mayhem – From controlling moms to impossible mothers-in-law, wedding celebrations spiral into chaos as family members compete for attention and control.
• Boundaries Change Everything – Couples that learn to protect their marriage sometimes means standing up to toxic family members.
• Stress vs. Support System – The biggest takeaway: your wedding circle should calm you, not overwhelm you.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

• “Peace is better than chaos and eventually boundaries have to be drawn.” – Christa Innis
• “They had spent around $300,000 to $400,000 of my family members’ money. It’s absolute insanity” – Jubilee Dawn
• “This is my best friend in theory and this is my wedding day. I can’t imagine that she would do this” – Jubilee Dawn
• “You need that kind of support around you when you’re going through stuff like this.” – Beth Hoffberg
• “It’s so silly to me, because if you haven’t been communicating, how can you even know what was discussed? You’re not the deciding factor.” – Kendra Matthies
• “You don’t know anything about this person. They’re doing their jobs, they’re helping. Why make that kind of comment?” – Kendra Matthies
• “She knows exactly what she is doing.” – Beth Hoffberg
• “Some of the best training for marriage is drama and tantrums and they passed the test.” – Sara Margulis
• “Avoid talking about tough stuff you’re going through with family or even a lot of friends, because it can set up this me‑versus‑him dynamic .” – Sara Margulis
• “That’s just toxic. They shouldn’t even be in the wedding” – CliffNotes Gal
• “She needs to invite me to the wedding and I will be there in a heartbeat. I’ll make sure her reception is a blast.” – CliffNotes Gal

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

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A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis:  when my husband gets on the phone, my mother-in-law is yelling so loudly that people can hear her without speakerphone. She refuses to return the keys. At this point, we’re wasting our honeymoon morning. So we text her, leave the keys at the front door, or leave the keys at the front desk. They know it’s our car. If not, we’ll file a police report. We pack up and decide to take my car instead. At least they both have a car there. As we head toward the lot, I suddenly hear my husband say, Kat, get in the car now. I run to the car. And just in time to see her sprinting towards him, and she throws the keys at his face.  this is wild. I’m I’m like picturing this in like a parking The, the words that I wanna use right now are not suitable for podcasts, but Oh wow. 

Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Here Comes the Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis,  and instead of a brand new episode today, what we’re gonna do is compile some clips from some of our popular episodes  featuring Jubilee,  Sarah, Beth, Kendra, and Cliff Notes Gal.  These are some wild stories, some great conversations, and so much more.  But don’t you worry, at the very end I’m going to update you on a popular dilemma that we featured a couple weeks back.   So stick around for the very end and I’m going to share that story update All right, Cleo, wanna say something? Hi.  So without further ado, please enjoy this little recap, and I’ll see you at the end for a little update 

The $400K Maid of Honor Heist 

Jubilee Dawn: this is my best friend in theory and this is my wedding day. I can’t imagine that she would do this. And that is when he decided to let me in on the fact that this was not the first time that something like this had happened with Crystal. 

Christa Innis: Oh. 

Jubilee Dawn: And it had gotten buried. 

But basically Crystal had been living with this family member with dementia. And she had been taking care of her along with her husband, and they were living in the house. But my, family members, they were very wealthy, you know, so it’s not like they were suffering, know, they’re living in this giant mansion, rent free and taking care of them, which really just meant, I don’t know, bringing them take out sometimes.

You know, it wasn’t that hard of a job. And apparently during a span of three, maybe three to four years, they had spent, around 300 to $400,000 of my family members’ money. I know. And it, it’s absolute insanity. And okay. To this day, when I confronted Crystal about all of this, she says, well, they wanted me to spend it.

they wanted me to spend this money. They told me to go buy whatever I wanted, and absolutely not. There’s no way. On top of that, she had drained every single one of their bank accounts. So my family member had had a good amount of money and I mean, crystal absolutely knew what she was doing because she would take every account to zero and then we have record that the checks were bouncing and then she would switch to the next account.

What? And to the next account. And during this time she was going on extravagant trips. they were, yeah, going on cruises. They were going to DC doing whale watching. He was getting new tires on his car. They even used my family member’s card to pay around $7,000 in taxes to the IRS. 

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. 

Jubilee Dawn: I know.

And the thing that I’m like, this is nail in the coffin. The same day that they put those taxes on the card, they also got A check for almost the exact same amount from the family member. so they got paid for it twice and mm-hmm. I guarantee what happened was Crystal went to this person and said, oh, we owe this money.

I’m so stressed, would you please pay it? And so not only did she kind of like manipulate somebody who has dementia, she ended up actually putting it on the card and then taking the check and making money off of that. wild. Yeah, it was horrible. So the reason I didn’t find out about this was there was a huge blowup where caused a lot of drift in the family at the time.

And when I was in Atlanta, I received this call from Crystal and she was crying and I mean, this is my best friend, you know, and you feel like you always want to have your best friend’s back, so mm-hmm. She called me crying saying, I’m being accused of stealing. And I didn’t do this. And they just see that a lot of money has been spent, but they don’t realize that the reason that the credit card is so high is because I’m paying all of the bills.

I’m paying the energy bill, I’m paying the mortgage, I’m doing all of this. This is why the bill seems so high, but nobody wants to listen to me. Mm-hmm. and they just are want to misunderstand me. And she also said, and I did spend a little too much at Dillard’s one day. She said, but you know how this family member is, they’ll tell you to go get anything you want sometimes.

And I just spent too much one day at the mall. but she had told me that I could. And honestly, that kind of tracked my family member was like that. She was very giving. There would be times where before school would start, she would give me her card and say, I want you to go get at least $500 worth of school clothes.

You know, and she was just a very giving person. But that is very different than three to $400,000. 

Christa Innis: yeah. I can’t even comprehend that. 

Jubilee Dawn: No, I’m like, that’s an outrageous amount of money. And I mean, it was honestly just crazy spending. It was daily Starbucks, they had so many subscription, like chewy boxes.

They had clothing subscriptions, getting mailed to them. Yeah. They were also getting a maid service get sent to their personal house. They eventually moved out and a maid was coming and cleaning their house on my family member’s card. and they eventually moved to Baltimore for her husband’s work.

And while they were even living in a different state, they were still using her card and living off of her. 

Bachelorette Tables and Venmo Scams 

She also pulled another con on my bachelorette, so it’s so ridiculous. Like it’s just a pattern of behavior. So there was another situation where we went to Hell, the Moon, which is this really fun piano bar with Bachelorette and it’s always super packed and it’s hard to get a table on the weekends.

So we wanted to reserve two tables and I think it was around $260. Mm-hmm. And it was gonna be split between five girls. So my maid of honor Crystal had sent out a text saying, here is. How much it’s gonna cost if everybody can Venmo me. I think it was around $56. Everybody Venmo me $56, for your portion of this.

And then once I found the wedding alcohol scam, I started going back to all these other statements and I saw that that was also on the card and that she had never paid for the hell at the moon. So she’s 

Christa Innis: trying to make money off of it. Yeah. she didn’t pay herself and she 

Jubilee Dawn: did, she, she made money off of all of my friends and family because, we sent her money for that and she pocketed it.

So, it was just a pattern of behavior. So then we started looking into it even more and found out that not only had she done that all those years before, but she was still doing it now, 

Thrown Keys, Chaos, and Honeymoon Tantrums 

Christa Innis: She said the hotel staff was just standing there wide-eyed.

We go to the front desk. The woman working had seen everything and was incredibly kind. We asked her to call my mother-in-law’s room since she was ignoring our calls, so she literally ran away with their keys to her room. Wow. She does. And when my husband gets on the phone, my mother-in-law is yelling so loudly that people can hear her without speakerphone.

She refuses to return the keys. At this point, we’re wasting our honeymoon morning. So we text her, leave the keys at the front desk. They know it’s our car. If not, we’ll file a police report. We pack up and decide to take my car instead. At least they both have a car there.

As we head toward the lot, I suddenly hear my husband say, Kat, get in the car now. I run to the car. And just in time to see her sprinting towards him, and she throws the keys at his face. this is wild. I’m like picturing this in like a parking 

Sara Margulis: lot. Wow. the words that I wanna use right now are not suitable for podcasts, but Oh wow.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. that is insane. It’s because she didn’t get what she wanted. She thought by them saying like she thought. By her withholding the keys. They’d be like, okay, you know what, we’ll 

Sara Margulis: take you. They’d have to do what she wanted and good for them, honestly, as a team for setting a boundary.

Because issues with in-laws come up all the time, all day, every day. Right. And like when it comes to a marriage, a marriage is different than just being boyfriend girlfriend or dating someone because you really, really have to have each other’s back first before anyone else in your life. That’s what makes marriage work.

And, avoid talking about tough stuff that you’re going through with them, with your family, even a lot of your friends, because it’s gonna set up this sort of like, me versus him, kind of a dynamic. Yeah. When you’re really, I love what this couple did. They stuck together. they called the bluff.

They were like, look, we’re not gonna let your tantrum throw off our day. leave our keys or, you know, we’ll act accordingly and. It worked like good for them. That was like honestly some of the best like training for marriage right there. and they passed the test. 

Christa Innis: They leaped over that hurdle.

Literally they did it, they really did handle it very well of just being like, you know what, like almost treating it like, a toddler. Okay. Yeah. If you’re gonna act that way, we’re gonna just figure out, we’re gonna keep going this way because you’re just not Sorry. You know what 

Sara Margulis: I wanna do? I don’t know if you can do this, but like I would really love to send them a little gift and like congratulate them on getting through that in a graceful way.

Christa Innis: I’ll have to see. Yeah. When they like sent it. I do have their, this person’s information, so I’ll have to see like when they sent it. But we have these really sweet Honey Ben Stanley’s 

Sara Margulis: that we could send them. 

Christa Innis: Oh, cute. Oh, I love that. That’s so cute. She then storms off again. I check on him. We get in the car and finally we drive off.

Ten Years of Manipulation: Boundaries at Last 

Still married, still heading to our honeymoon, but absolutely stunned. And sadly, this wasn’t the last of it over the past 10 years. Okay. So this was 10 years ago. Wow. 

Sara Margulis: Oh my God. Noticed. This was 10 years ago. 

Christa Innis: We’ve dealt with stunt after stunt, emotional manipulation, dramatic scenes, chaos at every family gathering.

But this was the first of many wild moments. She’s thrown our way. And finally, this year, for the sake of our children, we’ve made the decision to significantly limit contact. Wow. So it took 10 years of manipulation and dramatic scenes, all that stuff to finally be like, okay, you’re limited.I don’t even know if I’d want someone like that around my children knowing they’re gonna throw something or 

Sara Margulis: It’s hard.

Yeah. It’s hard 

Christa Innis: having 

Sara Margulis: problematic grandparents. The kids figure it out though, you know, they make their own decisions. Like, eh, we don’t like hanging out with that person. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. I feel like kids are so in tune to people. Mm-hmm. That they’re just like, they go with their gut for sure.

They’re not like adults where we can kind of like smile and be okay. They’re like, no, I don’t want. Yeah, yeah, exactly. so she just ends with saying, because peace is better than chaos and eventually boundaries have to be drawn, even if it takes a decade to get there. She then storms off again. I check on him. We get in the car and finally we drive off.

Still married, still heading to our honeymoon, but absolutely stunned. And sadly, this wasn’t the last of it over the past 10 years. Okay. So this was 10 years ago. Wow. 

Sara Margulis: Oh my God. Noticed. This was 10 years ago. 

Christa Innis: We’ve dealt with stunt after stunt, emotional manipulation, dramatic scenes, chaos at every family gathering.

But this was the first of many wild moments. She’s thrown our way. And finally, this year, for the sake of our children, we’ve made the decision to significantly limit contact. Wow. So it took 10 years of manipulation and dramatic scenes, all that stuff to finally be like, okay, you’re limited.I don’t even know if I’d want someone like that around my children knowing they’re gonna throw something or 

Sara Margulis: It’s hard.

Yeah. It’s hard

Christa Innis: I should mention my parents aren’t together and the man my mother destroyed our family for, he was married. So this is like a cycle. Hmm. 

Beth Hoffberg: Okay. 

Christa Innis: my mom was the other woman for 10 years. 

Beth Hoffberg: Oh wow.

Oh my 

Christa Innis: Oh my 

gosh. I just talked to a friend of mine that’s a therapist, and you might have seen this in your work too, but she, you might know the name of it. I can’t think of the name, but there’s like a study about like, looking at cycles of like trauma, trauma, intergenerational 

Beth Hoffberg: cycles, 

Christa Innis: intergenerational like trauma and stuff.

And she’s like. Like if there’s like cheating in a lineage, like it’s very common. Like if a mom was cheated on, maybe her mom was cheated on, it’s just like this interesting thing of like, you don’t think like, oh, because I was cheated on maybe my mom, you know, or whatever. Or she had breast cancer because she had this hap, you know, it’s just this interesting lineage.

Mm-hmm. You can see. So when I just saw that, that’s kinda what made me think of it as, I was like, oh, she’s kinda looking back and it’s like, oh, her mom was. In a relationship where a man was cheating. 

Beth Hoffberg: Yeah. It sounds like the person at this, while she maybe didn’t have the awareness when she was going through it at where she’s writing to you right now, sounds like she does have a lot more awareness.

Copycat Rings and White Dresses 

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. That’s what I’m getting to. That around Christmas that year, my sister came to visit and my mom was showing off new jewelry. It was basically my engagement ring 

Beth Hoffberg: Oh, oh no. 

Christa Innis: Oh, red 

Beth Hoffberg: flag that I’m 

Christa Innis: not okay 

Beth Hoffberg: with that. 

Christa Innis: This came outta left field. I thought this was be all about the guy. 

 same design, same setting. Only hers was yellow gold with yellowish diamonds instead of white. When I confronted her, she told me it was completely different and that I was being dramatic, but it wasn’t different. It was identical right down to the setting. I was furious. 

Beth Hoffberg: I feel sorry for her. 

Christa Innis: No, imagine like that’s your moment of like being so excited.

Obviously the relationship has its issues it’s toxic, but that aside, right? Yeah. She’s so excited and the mom’s like, you know what, I’m gonna go out and get myself the exact same. 

Beth Hoffberg: And it was her custom design and everything. Like, how can you say it’s different if it’s like, oh, we both had, a single solitaire, like princess cut is the exact same.

Like, okay. But no, it sounds like this person created some whole special design, special setting, her own vision that she’s wanted since she was 16. 

They had it custom made. Mm. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Beth Hoffberg: I don’t believe the mom, 

Christa Innis: it’s a little interesting. 

Beth Hoffberg: Yeah. She 

Christa Innis: said, I was furious. My sister immediately told her she should never wear it again because it was a blatant copy and incredibly rude.

Good for the sister. 

Beth Hoffberg: Yes. 

Christa Innis: My mom got angry and said she wouldn’t wear it on my day. Fast forward to about one or two months before my wedding planning was going pretty well until my mom showed me what she was planning to wear. Here we go. Wait, and I didn’t notice. So it says the mom. okay, so the mom destroyed her family, so I’m guessing she was also married, cheated with this man who was also married.

Right. Sounds like they were both married because she said, my mom just started her marriage for 10 years, meaning that she never got married to this man. what my intuition is saying, she’s jealous now that her daughter’s getting married to this man, which she is been the other woman all these years, right?

Beth Hoffberg: Yeah. 

Christa Innis:  it says, I go to her house and she proudly pulls out a garment bag, a white garment bag inside was a white gown. Just when I think 

Beth Hoffberg: she knows exactly what she is doing, she knows exactly what she is doing. 

Christa Innis: No one is that naive to be 

Beth Hoffberg: like, 

Christa Innis: oh, you can’t wear, you can’t wear a white dress to your daughter’s wedding.

What? my ring’s different. What her excuse was, you’re doing a black and white wedding. What color am I supposed to wear? 

Beth Hoffberg: Oh my God, 

Christa Innis: my sister and I immediately shut it down and forced her to find something else. The disappointing part. The next dress she chose was literally the same dress my stepmom had already purchased.

Thankfully my stepmom is an angel and just picked another dress without making it a thing. That is an angel. 

Beth Hoffberg: I’m glad this person has her sister, her stepmom, like people in her corner who seem to get it. Her mom is a problem for sure. 

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. You need those people to like not add more gasoline to the fire like she was saying earlier.

Mm-hmm. Just to kind of be like, and I know some people get mad in the story sometimes when I’m like you can keep the peace, like it’s protecting your boundaries in some ways. Right? Keeping the peace doesn’t necessarily mean you’re hurting yourself. It just means like. Not igniting more, because I think there’s some people that thrive off the drama.

Mm-hmm. And they want to start more drama, you know? So I feel like they were very smart about like, you know what? We’re not gonna even bring it to her attention. Let’s just change the dress. You know? 

Beth Hoffberg: Yeah. Or the bride could have gone to the stepmom being like really upset, and the stepmom being like, I don’t care enough.

I wanna solve this problem for you. The way that I wanna solve it is by getting a different dress and not engaging with your mom, and then take this off your plate. So it’s like up to the stepmom to make that decision to brag just out of it. And that’s like, those are the people you need when you’re.

Going through stuff like this? 

Christa Innis: Yeah, 100%.

The ceremony was beautiful. While photos were being taken, I showed the mother of the bride the reception room. So it’s weird. Everything’s just like going as normal even though they Yeah. We’re just like 

Kendra Matthies: going forward. Even though nobody was confirming anything. Okay. Yeah. Alright. 

Motherly Discount Schemes 

Christa Innis: Immediately she began tearing it apart.

The mother of the bride tearing apart the reception room. The linen colors were wrong. The tables were too far from the windows where a large buffet had been set up overlooking the golf course. The dance floor was too large. Even though most guests danced at their tables, the cake was missing a tier and it was crooked.

Or she’s saying it wasn’t. These are all the things that the mother of the the bride was saying. Okay. And it was crooked. It wasn’t, the lighting was too dim and felt solemn. The servers were dressed too formally One server hunched too much. She didn’t like my dress. She’s 

Kendra Matthies: talking to the,

your server has bad posture, okay?

I get being upset in certain things, and we’ll hear more story. I understand. Okay. don’t, what if that person has a back issue? You dunno. Why are we going after the servers themselves? Like, that’s kind of crazy to me. It’s wild. That’s wild. Okay. 

Christa Innis: Yes. You don’t know anything about this person. Yeah.

What in the world make that comment? they’re doing their jobs, aren’t they? They’re, they’re like helping. Right. Like, oh my God. then to say she didn’t like her dress, the person doing it, she’s saying she didn’t like my dress. It clashed. So the person that sent in this email that runs these letters?

Yeah. Can you imagine? I’d be like, okay. Like, sorry. Right. 

Kendra Matthies: That’s what I chose to wear. That’s wild. Okay. Bizarre. 

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. The flowers were too sparse. there were too many ribbons. She was irate. I was completely dumbfounded. And that’s a problem too. Well, I mean it’s, there’s so many problems with this, right?

Thinking that she has some power coming in. It’s like she’s not the client. Yeah. But it weird that she, they just stopped hearing from the bride and groom and then the uncle just comes in. 

Kendra Matthies: Right. And it’s weird to me too, that, weddings that I’ve been to my wedding, we very much discussed like what the layout was going to be, how things were gonna look.

And I know that they said, we did let them know that the linens wouldn’t be able to be the same because of whatever. So they were aware of that. Maybe this mom isn’t aware of the change. Okay. But also who are you? Like, I get you’re the mom, but you’re also like not the deciding factor.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I feel like it was something where. The mom wasn’t as involved as she wanted to be or something. 

Kendra Matthies: Yeah. 

Christa Innis: And it sounds like, like the person that wrote this, I always say it’s a little biased ’cause she’s the one that sent it to us. Right. So I’m like hearing her perspective, but I’m like, sounds like she knows what she’s talking about.

She’s done all these weddings and events before. Right. So I’m sure they’re following the contract, following the plan. The mom’s, she’s like, I don’t like this. This is not what I envisioned. Or she’s embarrassed because she wants her family to see something different. Or I, 

Kendra Matthies: that’s just so, it’s so silly to me too because let’s say all of these things are the genuine, the bride comes in and ends up saying the exact same thing.

Where have you been? You haven’t like been communicating with us to like even know, maybe the original discussion was that there were gonna be this many ribbons, or maybe the discussion was that the flowers were gonna be how they’re gonna be if you’re not having. ‘ cause it’s sounding to me like the venue is providing most, if not all of the setup.

So it’s not like they’re having to coordinate multiple different vendors. It’s sounding like it is the venue that’s doing this. So how that communication between the couple and the venue itself got so lax. Mm-hmm. It is strange to me, like, yeah. Okay. I need to 

Christa Innis: hear more. I need to Very on.

Okay. It says she stormed off and I went back to business as usual. This was a $16,000 wedding. Absolutely. All out. 

Kendra Matthies: demolished the food. They ate it all. That’s what I’m gathering.

Christa Innis: shiny. Yeah. shiny Yeah. I’m like, okay, I was gonna pronounce that wrong. And all music continued, some dancing followed, and then the mother of the groom approached me. She said the food was awful. The servers were slow, people were spiking drinks at a dry wedding.

Apparently sneaking alcohol from another bar into the building. The dance floor was a slippery hazard. The linens were dry after people ate, or No? The linens were dirty after people ate. It didn’t take a genius to see where this was headed. The hints for a massive discount started shortly after.

Kendra Matthies: they don’t wanna pay. They don’t want to pay. They don’t want to pay. Hopefully they’ve already cashed that check, girl. And it didn’t bounce like this. 

Christa Innis: What it’s for, the dirty or the Dirty Linens thing reminded me. I saw this thing where an influencer was trying to do something or she was getting free, something free money.

She was at a restaurant and she filmed the floor and was like the place was dirty. And then the owners came out and they were like, she was there right after like a 12 party or a 12 person party just got up and left and she filmed right under the table. So it’s just all about like if you’ve never worked in a restaurant or, 

Kendra Matthies: yeah.

That’s wild to me. The linens are dirty. I mean, aren’t they there to like. Get used and like to protect like the tables and to like look nice. I mean, your wedding dress is gonna be dirty by the end of the night, like the bottom of it. You know, you’re using the item. 

Christa Innis: Yes. That’s wild. And again, saying servers were slow, you’re gonna complain about that.

Kendra Matthies: That’s wild to me.

Family Feud vs Bride and Fiance That Saved the Day 

Christa Innis: After two days of silence, we decided to travel with them to Belgium, where I grew up, to share the news with friends.

My brother and sister were happy at first, but within two weeks my sister started trying to seduce my fiance. What is this family? Okay, what? 

Cliffnotes Gal: Okay, what’s up with the family now? Now I’m like, 

Christa Innis: this is very odd. This is what, this is a 

Cliffnotes Gal: real story. 

Christa Innis: I tell you. Sometimes I read these stories and I’m like, this cannot be real.

Like, 

Cliffnotes Gal: oh my gosh, 

Christa Innis: some are just outrageous. But then I’ll post a story or like I’ll share, you know, story time. If people are like, this happened to me, this exact thing happened to me, and I’m like, I don’t think they’re as, I think they’re more common than we think. It’s wild. telling him that she was the better option.

We ended up staying for a month. I’d be out of there a month still after that, a 

Cliffnotes Gal: month. Do they not work? 

Christa Innis: I know they’re doing all this traveling, but then the mom was mad that they wanted Hawaii. Not enough money 

Cliffnotes Gal: for Hawaii. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. Not enough. Because it wasn’t a place she selected as a wife, right?

Yes. 

Cliffnotes Gal: Right. 

Christa Innis: We ended up staying for a month because my mother promised to pay for the wedding dress and booked appointments at bridal shops. I said, I didn’t wanna bring my sister, but I was manipulated into it with the whole family as family. Guilt trip. Yikes. at the first shop, the saleswoman told me my body wasn’t made for fitted dresses.

My gosh. After trying on 10 dresses, I hated and hearing nonstop comments from my sister and mother about how I looked fat. Why I would not be including well either of 

them. 

Cliffnotes Gal: That’s just toxic. You don’t even, they shouldn’t even be in the wedding. 

Christa Innis: No. Or 

Cliffnotes Gal: at the wedding. 

Christa Innis: This is definitely a story where, I mean, I don’t know what happens, but, or it’d be like, let’s just elope.

Right. where does your family wanna go? Let’s, 

Cliffnotes Gal: I would hope that the husband is saying like, look babe, let’s just go do this thing with just us. 

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yeah. The second someone starts making you feel bad, especially when it’s supposed to be like your day trying on dresses, feeling beautiful.

I’d be like, I’m done with this. I’ll go with a friend or go by myself later, 

Cliffnotes Gal: a hundred percent. 

Christa Innis: they were saying, or I showed too much skin or looked bad. I finally said I wanted to leave at the second shop. I found my dress within minutes and started crying. My father seemed completely unbothered and asked how I planned to pay for it.

I was confused and that’s when my mother said, they don’t have the 690 euro after all. So they get her excited, say they’re gonna pay for the dress she finds when they’re like, oh, we don’t have the money for it. And I wonder, wow. In 690, I mean, I’m trying to think of like the calculation, but.

That doesn’t seem very expensive for a dress, 690 Euros, because I think it’s like, 

Cliffnotes Gal: I don’t know what the conversion rate is right now. 

Christa Innis: I feel like it was pretty close, like when I was just in, I was in Spain a couple years ago and 

Cliffnotes Gal: yeah, I mean, it seems like the price of like an average. I mean, I think my golly, my wedding dress back then was like $400, $500, something like that.

But man, this is just toxic. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. Wild. she says, I ran outta the shop crying and went to the cafe where my fiance was waiting. I told him everything without hesitation. He marched into the store, bought the dress without seeing it, booked us a hotel and said we’d figure out everything ourselves.

Cliffnotes Gal: Love 

Christa Innis: it. Yay. 

Cliffnotes Gal: Good husband. 

Christa Innis: Good man, 

Cliffnotes Gal: good husband. 

Christa Innis: Two days later, we returned to my parents’ house and my mother exploded. She was angry that we bought the dress without telling her. and said it was unfair because they never had a big wedding. So she’s now kept trying to control it because they didn’t have the wedding they wanted or something.

 she also claimed my father never gave his blessing. My father agreed with her and said he could never trust anyone with his beloved daughter. 

Cliffnotes Gal: A massive fight broke out and we ended up flying home. Once we were home, everyone there was happy for us, but my heart was breaking because my own family didn’t accept us.

Christa Innis: In January, my mom finally called and said she needed the wedding date and location so she could book time off or they wouldn’t come at all. My father is still refusing, wait, so this is happening right now? She said, my father, 

Cliffnotes Gal: I was about to say like, this is now. 

Christa Innis: Because sometimes people will like send a story and then they’ll be like, oh, that was 20 years ago.

We’re happily married. Yeah. So I wasn’t sure. But yeah, it says my father is still refusing to walk me down the aisle. if we have a wedding weekend, that’s the short version of part one. I’ll write a part two when you’re ready. 

Cliffnotes Gal: Wait, I wanna know if the wedding happened yet. 

Christa Innis: I know. I need to find out.

Cliffnotes Gal: And where are they located? Are they like in the us? 

Christa Innis: I’m wondering if they’re in the US and then they traveled. They traveled to Belgium where they bought the dress. 

Cliffnotes Gal: Damn. If old girl is like anywhere near me, within driving distance, she needs to invite me to the wedding and I will be there in a heartbeat.

And I’ll make sure her reception is a blast. 

Christa Innis: Yes. Oh my gosh. That’d be so fun. We’re like, we’re coming here wedding. 

Cliffnotes Gal: Yes. Yeah. I wanna know if it happened. Yeah. You need the part two. 

Christa Innis: Yes. I know. I wasn’t expecting it for it to end like that. I feel like, I like the way this is going, in the way that her boundaries have been really good.

Like her boundaries are firm. Her fiance’s backing her up. ’cause I feel like in a lot of these stories, we don’t hear about the fiance or how he’s like supporting his wife, whether it’s a mother-in-law or not. and so I feel like it’s really good that she has him. And so I’m hoping like they stick firm on their boundaries and are either like, and the mom’s calling like, okay, when’s the date?

This is their chance to be like, 

Cliffnotes Gal: no, 

Christa Innis: you know, we’re not gonna give you the date 

Cliffnotes Gal: No. 

Christa Innis: And do our own thing. 

Cliffnotes Gal: No, this sounds like as much as it sucks mom and dad, it doesn’t seem like it’s beneficial to have them in your adult life right now. 

Christa Innis:  Hey guys, welcome back. All right, so I hope you enjoyed that little trip down memory lane of some previous episodes.  If you guys missed those full episodes, we do have them linked at the very bottom, so you can check it out.  Now, I know for you guys it seems like a short little while, but for me,  typically I record intros and outros  all at the same time,  but while that was all happening, we were dealing with a crazy storm here.  So I’m recording using my hotspot,  and,  um, we’re  out of power. So  luckily it’s during the day at least, so,  while we’re waiting for power to come back on and kind of figuring out next steps,  the sun is shining, so we can be grateful for that. But it was very crazy here for a while.  So as I promised,  we are revisiting a dilemma from a couple weeks back.  If you wanna follow along or go back to it, I believe it  it was episode 73,  and you can go back and listen to it and kinda see what we talked about. We also shared it on social media if people wanted to give their input.  But this was essentially about  a bride asking her friend to be the maid of honor,  and it seemed like  task after task she kinda just showed no interest.  The only time she really showed interest was in, like,  getting bridesmaids gifts.  there was a birthday cake issue where she kinda dropped the ball and didn’t follow through.  Most people were just saying swap her out.  have your friend that kinda stepped up for the bachelorette party be your maid of honor,  and so we gave a lot of tips, social media  and whatnot.  So she gave a little update, so  I wanna read what she sent over.  And  see what’s going on this time.  Listened to your advice today and really decided to back up and take her situation  into further consideration.  She’s in a very bad relationship right now.  She’s a stay-at-home mom to a toddler, which is very stressful in its own right.  Her toddler is my flower girl.  I think it really boils down to me being a low-maintenance friend  and her putting what energy she does have left over  into her higher maintenance friendships,  because I see her showing up for them and making time for them. I’ve taken a step back from the friendship and noticed that when I stop helping her out as much as… When I…  I’ve taken a step back from this friendship  and noticed that when I stop helping her out as much  or reaching out,  I start hearing from her less and less, which is pretty common.  I have two kids, but I always made time to help whenever I could  whent- when I could… Okay. I have two kids,  but I always made time to help her  whenever I could tell she was stressed,  watching her kid,  cleaning her house, et cetera.  Meanwhile, this help was not reciprocated.  I think we both are just not as good of friends as we were telling each other we were,  and perhaps it would be best for that I think we are both just not as good of friends as we were telling each other,  and that it perhaps would be the best for right now  that we allow our friendship to change.  I hope we grow closer again one day,  but for right now, I’m uncomfortable with having a different relationship.  We started hanging out a bit more recently, and I enjoy our relationship more without the expectations.  I have other friends who I’ve gotten closer with.  All in all, I think I’m happier already.  I have not had the talk with her yet,  and I’m honestly thinking  a petty side of me knew she’d  brag all day about  our closeness and her being maid of honor,  and that was a big driver for me to want to demote her.  That being said,  I currently think I will not change the wedding party title  unless it’s brought up by her or the other friend that has stepped up  and creates some tension.  I really hope that taking the pressure off my maid of honor  will allow us both to enjoy this whole thing a lot more.  There is a sisterhood I really wanted to experience in this process  of just having people excited for me  and just generally being interested in what I’m planning,  and I’m finding that  more so in my other bridesmaids.  I think some friends just aren’t wedding people  For anyone curious, I got my bridesmaids  custom cute canvas bag,  baskets, and totes  with their names on them,  and I plan to fill them with various goodies.  Going to need to look at some inspo.  I plan on giving the friend who stepped up something special in hers  as acknowledgement of how much I appreciate her.  She’s also a baker and giving me a wedding cake, which she keeps refusing to let me pay for.  I will update you on our bachelorette in August  about how that goes  because that is currently the last hurdle before the big day.  Okay. I love this because I feel like it was very, like, emotionally  intelligent.  I think a lot of times, especially in our younger years, we wanna victimize  ourselves and say like, “Well, they weren’t a good friend to me.  They’re not stepping up to me.  Why are they doing this to me?”  And then as we get older or kind of  as we step outside of it, we’re like, “Well, wait, have I always reached out to her,”  or, “Are our friendships changing?  Does she have a lot of other priorities?” And that’s okay.  so I think this was really big of her.  I’ve done similar things  with friendships of mine, people that I’ve known for many years,  some that I’ve  known more recently that I’m like, ”  I think I need to show up differently,”  and,  cause we kind of show up differently. Or you kind of realize, ”  Oh, my gosh, this friend has shown up for me so many times,  and I feel like I’ve dropped the ball. I need to stand up  more with this person because I really care about them.”  And I think it’s really good to kind of look inwardly of being like, “Okay,  how can I show up better?” Or, “What am I capable of right now?”  And it’s okay that she doesn’t wanna move the party around,  and it’s okay that  their friendship has kind of changed, and they’re kind of in this weird stage of like, okay, her  friend has new friends. She has new friends.  She’s kind of prioritizing other friends.  And  the person that wrote this in is kind of prioritizing her wedding, which  is very common  and  completely expected, right?  When you have this big event going, that’s kind of like your number one priority,  and it can kind of cause us to have this tunnel vision of like,  everything  needs to fall in line with my wedding,  without realizing, like, people have other responsibilities,  other things going on in their life,  and it’s sometimes hard to see that.  So I think this was a really,  intelligent and mature way of, like, looking at things. Like, I’m sure in her first email she was like, ”  This really sucks. This friend sucks. She’s dropped the ball. I wanna move her,  I, you know, I feel bad.”  But now she’s like, “Wait a second”  Have I been there for her just as much?  Yes, maybe in different stages, but right now I’m low maintenance. Right now I’m like, “Okay, we have this connection, this string that’s holding us together,  but I don’t have the time to maybe reach out to her as much.”  so  I love this decision.  You don’t have to make any drastic decision right now. I think it’s great to do something a little extra, ’cause it sounds like this friend that’s stepping up for you is amazing  and really wanting to help you out.  so I think this is really great, and I think this is a good lesson for all kinds of people,  no matter what stage you’re in, about how friendships change.  And I made a video about this a while back about  friendship breakups, and  I think especially in our younger years, not saying it doesn’t hurt now, but especially in our younger years,  we take it so personally and we’re like, “Oh my gosh,  they’re the bad ones.  They did this to me,” or, ”  I ruined this friendship.” And we’re so quick to point,  when in reality people change,  circumstances change, priorities change,  and that doesn’t make either of you good or bad people. It’s just happenstance, it-  it’s life.  there’s been friendships that I’ve had that I’m like, ”  These are gonna last forever.” And then you kinda look back and you’re like, ”  Oh,  I haven’t seen them in months. I should probably follow up with them,” you know?  and vice versa. Or like,  they haven’t reached out to me.  or I’m always the one that reaches out to them, you know?  And you kinda have to, like what she says here, I thought she said a really, really awesome thing about, about,  oh, I wanna find it, ’cause it was, it was said so beautifully about Hmm. Okay, here we go Okay. I think we both are just not as good of friends as we were telling each other,  and that perhaps it would be best for the… It would be for the best that we allow our friendships that change.  I hope we grow closer again one day,  but for right now I am comfortable with having a different relationship.  We’ve started hanging out more recently, and I enjoy our relationship more without the expectations. ‘  Cause sometimes we’re like, “Oh, we have to be best friends.  We have to do everything together.  We have to have this closeness right now at all times.”  And we see someone online and we’re like, “We’re not doing it that way.”  Or we see  two of our best friends and we’re like, “We’re not doing it that way.”  Or we see our friend being really close to another person and we’re like, “Wait a second. Are they closer? Like,  am I a 📍 shitty  friend?” Like,  we kind of like  go in this  cycle of like how…  are we dropping the ball? Are they dropping the ball?  And I know I have this habit of like, if it’s a friend of mine and I see they’re getting really close to someone,  I am, am so anti-competition where I just  I let myself fade away.  not like in a way where I don’t reach out, but more so like I’m like, ”  Hey, girl, you have your time. Like,  it’s fine. I’m not, I’m not competing for a friendship. Like,  everyone should have their own friends.”  I have this habit of doing that in the past of like,  just letting them know like, ”  Hey,  it’s okay. Like, you can have whoever you want as your friend. I’m not gonna find issue to it.”  So I think this was beautifully said about you’re comfortable having a different relationship.  When you let go of certain  expectations and understanding different relationships are gonna be different,  I think that’s a beautiful thing.  I’ve too experienced that where  I felt like I was holding certain,  friendships to a really high expectation.  I’m like, “Oh, I’m reaching out all the time. I’m doing this all the time.” And then I’m like, “Wait a second.”  we’re not meeting each other in the same spot.   like two ships sailing. Like, something’s off. So  really evaluating friendships I think is a really powerful thing. So  if anyone else listening  has more advice for her, I feel like she seems pretty confident in what she’s doing now.  but if you guys are listening and you have a similar situation, whether it’s  bridesmaid or not, wedding or not, if it’s a friendship, share the story. I would love to,  share my take. Although, of course, I always say I’m not an expert, but I’ll give you my expert opinion.  we’ve all had friendship breakups. We’ve had,  friendship seasons, right? What do they say? Everybody’s in your life for a season, a reason, or a lifetime.  And I think the more and more we get comfortable with that and understanding that  every friendship’s not gonna stick forever, I think it’s,  we could have more peace with it.  All right, guys, as a reminder, I do dilemmas,  every other episode or so, mostly on my solo episodes.  So if you guys wanna send a dilemma of your own, you can send it to hello@christainnis.com  you can also DM me on social media. Instagram’s  probably the best way to do that. I just tend to see my DMs a little bit better there. The other platforms confuse me a little bit.  All right, guys. Thanks for hanging out with me this time, and I will see you next week. Bye-bye.