My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!
One wedding. Too many problems. Not enough boundaries.
There is always some level of chaos and stress around a wedding, but this one pushes well past it. What starts with a condition between the bride’s last name quickly unravels into late-night drives, missing hotel rooms, and plans that never quite land. It’s never just the tension in the background. It shows up in guests crossing boundaries, bringing uninvited plus-ones, breaking child-free rules, and inserting themselves where they should not. Turning into a steady stack of drama, each moment making it harder to ignore.
This episode opens on a more personal note, where I share more about burnout, the pressure to stay consistent, and navigating a major life transition, before getting into hot takes on wedding expectations, financial pressure, and the boundaries people tend to forget.
Listen through the story, the patterns behind it, and where everything starts to fall apart.
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Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments
- Burnout Reality – Balancing content creation, burnout, and being present as a mom, and what that actually looks like behind the scenes.
- Hot Takes Segment – Bridesmaids becoming a financial burden, destination weddings and saying no, and why registries and extra events can go too far.
- The Night Before the Wedding – Last-minute tasks, delays, and a hotel room that never quite comes together.
- The Father-in-Law’s Condition – A demand around the bride’s last name that turns the wedding into a negotiation before it even begins.
- The $100 Bar Contribution – A promise to “cover the bar” that raises bigger questions about control and intent.
- Guests Crossing the Line – Uninvited plus-ones, a child-free wedding being disregarded, and guests showing up without respect for the couple’s boundaries.
- Backhanded Comments – Remarks about the bride’s appearance and behavior that cross from uncomfortable into outright disrespectful.
- The Breaking Point – A series of moments that build until the situation feels less like stress and more like something that cannot be ignored.
Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode
- “It’s okay to step back and take a breath. People will survive.”
- “Their lives still move on. Your wedding is the most important day to you, not to everyone else.”
- “You should not feel guilty about not attending a destination wedding. It’s an invitation, not a demand.”
- “At the end of the day, we can only take these as lessons for future events.”
- “You should not expect a gift if someone declines your wedding invite.”
*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.
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Blog Transcript:
Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Christa Innis: Once I was fully dressed, I walked into the room where my mom was, where my mom was expecting at least some kind of reaction. Instead, she looked at me and said, you know, weddings are really about the mother of the bride. What? This is actually my day. I can’t believe when people say this is, did this really happen?
Christa Innis: Hi guys. Welcome to my final episode of, here Comes the Drama filmed in this room. Did I scare you guys? So, this is the last time I’ll be filming a podcast episode or anything at this house. as you guys know, I am moving. many of you guys know, I don’t really share too many personal details, so it’s just kind of been a here and there thing.
I don’t plan on sharing too much. I like to keep my. Private life, private, you know, security and privacy is very important to me, so that’s one of the main reasons, but it’s very bittersweet. my husband and I have been here six years. Of course, this is my daughter’s first home, and so I feel like there’s like a lot of like unspoken anxiety about all that.
Not just with moving, but I’ve just been dealing with a lot of anxiety lately. It’s okay if I get a little vulnerable with you guys. I feel like this is a safe place for me to get vulnerable because people that are gonna take the time to listen to the podcast usually are pretty invested and are, loyal listeners.
Mom Life, Content Creation, and Burnout Cycles
Like the content. So I know this is a little shift from the beginning, I promise you we’ll get to the drama, but I just wanna be real with you guys. I mean, creating content is a dream. Like it’s so much fun. Of course, that’s not the only thing I do as many people think, but. it really is the dream.
It’s so much fun. I’ve worked in social media marketing for a long time and I love it. it’s fun to be able to create and being able to turn this into books I have many more plans for that of course, but there’s a lot of burnout that comes with it and, Like the feeling that I am, this could be be gone in a second.
And I put a lot of pressure on myself. And even with this move, I was like, originally I’m like, I’m gonna give myself a week off. But then I get this panic feeling of like, if I don’t post, people will be mad if I don’t post. Which it feels wild to think, but it’s like I’ve made this like part of my career and so I’m like, I don’t wanna let people down.
I wanna be creating. and it’s just hard sometimes to find the balance. you know, even when I worked corporate jobs, I definitely dealt with burnout. Definitely. Like, I would say at least once a quarter I would deal with some kind of burnout, because I go, go, go, go, go. I say yes to everything. I stay late, I arrive early, you know, whatever that is.
and then there’s just, it like slowly hits me and then it’s just like, damn. I need to like, close my computer, turn off my phone and like pull myself away from anything for a while. And I know I’m starting to feel that ’cause there’s just so much going on right now. And so, like, even as, as I’m recording this, by the time you guys hear this, it’ll be like six weeks later.
So hopefully I’m out of this. But, As the time I’m recording this, we’re moving in a couple days and I’m still recording and filming. You know, like my closet is still, I’m filming in my closet at this place. Hunt’s one of the reasons we need to move, but, and I’m still surrounded by clothes. so I need to be moving everything out tomorrow.
I just, I hold onto a lot and I feel a lot of imposter syndrome with doing all this. Um, I’m not gonna try to get too vulnerable because I always feel like if someone’s listening, it’s their first time, they’re gonna be like, uh, Ron for the hills. but I deal with such bad imposter syndrome. I feel like I’m constantly trying to be liked by people.
and so when I go to post, I’m like, oh my gosh, are they gonna like me? Um. This is like long before, you know, social media or making content on this page. That’s just something I’ve always dealt with. I remember bosses coming to me and being like, you’re doing so great. Like, you know, thanks for getting us to this achievement or doing this.
And I’d be like, who are they talking to? They’re not talking to me. There’s no way. it’s just something I’ve always dealt with. and I remember posting about this before and I had so many people send me messages that were just so kind and so helpful. I just feel like at any moment. All of this could be pulled away from me, and that can happen with anything.
Um, and I need to constantly remind myself that, um, sorry guys, that just to take it like day by day, I need to constantly remind myself to take things day by day and, allow myself to have breaks. I like being productive and I like doing things and getting things done, but I also like being a very present mom.
And so that’s also shifted how I work. it’s hard for me to a hundred percent focus on work when she’s awake or when she’s out or needs me because, she’s such a pivotal point, like part of my life of course. And so I wanna be very present. She’s a very present father too, you know, and so, like, he’s obviously very capable, but it’s just like, I don’t wanna miss on moments too.
So I find I’m constantly in this fight or flight mode, and maybe I need to talk to someone about that, not just on the podcast. Maybe I’m just letting it all out now. but yeah, I feel like I’m in this fight or flight mode a lot of the times because I’m, uh, always, you know, when I’m with my daughter.
Like, you know, helping her or, you know, assisting or whatever I need to do. then when I have limited time to get stuff done, I’m like, okay, let’s put this on a list. I have to get through these five things in the next three hours. or when she’s down for bed, then I’m like, okay, I’m gonna get through these things, but I’m exhausted.
And so a lot of people don’t know that that’s what kind of goes on behind the scenes. usually like I have like two good days that I’m like very focused on work and like. That’s like my husband’s out there with my daughter. and then the other days I kind of flop it where like, my husband focuses on work and then I am, with my daughter, in the mornings we kind of.
Not that anyone cares about our schedules. Um, but it’s just like, I feel like I’m always in this fight or flight. Like people are like, oh, where’s the next part? And that’s just kind of a little more behind the scenes. And it’s kind of wild because it’s like anytime I’m in a burnout stage, it’s like you’re doing stuff you love and that’s what’s the hard part.
’cause you’re like, well, like my husband will be like, well, just don’t post something today. And I’m like, but I love the creation. It makes me feel. Valid. It makes me feel like I’m, accomplishing something. It makes me feel like I’m doing something. but at the same time, I think it’s an important lesson.
So for anyone that’s listening and needs this advice, I feel like it’s an important lesson. Like when we get that feeling of burned out, that it’s okay to step back and, , you know. Take a breath and people will survive. If you know nothing is life or death. That’s why I always say I am like, I remember when I did my marketing job, six years ago, and that boss would always say like, you know what, nothing is life or death like seriously, If the sales report doesn’t get done by the end of the week, it’s okay. so that’s a good reminder. You know, it’s like, it’s good to, you know, just take a step back and do something for you. I’ve been trying to do like meditation and stuff too, so that was a rabbit hole. Also, I think I need to stop reading comments.
But anyway, how are you guys doing? I hope you guys are doing great. I just needed to get that out. I feel like there’s like just a lot of like emotion and feeling with this place like that. I’ve lived here for so long and now we’re like in the midst of packing and there’s just all these like last minute things and, um, I talked about it before, just like.
like a crier, or I was a crier more so before my daughter was born, and now I just feel like I’m always like, go, go, go. I don’t always have time to cry, and it’s like, bam, whoa. Everything’s sending me at once. Okay, I’ll stop being boring. You guys are still hanging on with me. Thanks for listening.
Thanks for being here. Like thanks for letting me get vulnerable. there’s more to come. It’s really hard to be vulnerable. It’s really hard to be vulnerable and share, like, as I said, like I’m very private and I think in the nature of the kind of content I do, being skits and telling stories, I’m able to easily hide, right?
Wedding Hot Takes and Wedding Role Expectation
So it’s like if something’s going on here, I don’t have to bring it on camera. I can just. I can just turn on the character from a skit, that makes it a little bit easier. So I’m trying to be a little more vulnerable and allow myself to share more, but it’s really scary. So thanks for being here. All right, let’s jump into some fun stuff.
we’re gonna start with some hot takes, and then we’ll do the blind reaction story. That seems pretty wild. Okay. All right, here we go. Hot takes. Being asked to be a bridesmaid is more of a financial obligation than an honor these days. Ooh. You know, I would kind of have to agree. I would say there’s a lot of people that mean well by who they want ask in their wedding, and it’s still holds true honor.
However, I think we get caught up in the Pinterest wedding and we want all these. Unrealistic expectations. And I’ve read so many stories where it seems like they just want a number. And that’s sad to me because we lose the point of having like a bridesmaid or a groomsman or someone by your side, it’s caught up in what can they do for me?
What money can they put into the wedding? And that’s just not okay. Um. For me, it was more about the actual person, less about what money can they put in or what time can they put in? And your wedding, like to you, it’s the most important day. But to everybody else, it’s, just another day.
Their lives still move on. So I think we need to remember that. But unfortunately, I do see it many times as being a financial obligation. People are having to spend thousands upon thousands of dollars. I find people writing to me that they’ve gone bankrupt. Because of being in a wedding, and that’s just a true friend would never ha put you in that situation.
Okay. Two plus ones should only be given to couples who have been together for at least a year. Um, I wanna disagree on that. I think it’s just up to the bride and groom. I don’t think it should have to be a certain amount of time. I think, you know, like there’s situations where maybe they’ve just never met your plus one.
They never go to anything. So they have no relationship with them, Do they need to be obligated to invite the person? No, I don’t think so. Especially if you live like outta state, you never see them. but then there’s other couples. Maybe they meet you right away or maybe they meet your plus one right away.
You always hang out so. I don’t think it should matter that you haven’t been together a year. And then some weddings just give plus ones to everybody. I remember going to a wedding where my mom’s friend once years ago, and I got a plus one. I was 19. I wasn’t even, no, maybe 19 or 20, and I was not even planning on bringing a plus one.
I was like, oh, I guess I was bringing my friend from college. So yeah. Number three, if you can’t afford to attend a destination wedding, You shouldn’t feel guilty saying no. No matter how close you are to the couple, yes, 100%. You should not feel guilty about not attending a destination wedding.
It is a request. It’s an invitation, not a demand. You do not have to be there. That’s why I don’t get, when people say destination weddings are selfish, it’s their wedding. They can do whatever they want for their wedding. It’s not selfish. So just in the same way, it’s not selfish for you to say no. It’s not rude for you to say no if you can’t afford it.
Don’t go. I remember being invited to destination wedding years ago, I wanna say maybe 10 years ago, and, loved the couple. we were pretty close with them. I wouldn’t say like best friends, but pretty close. And I just knew we couldn’t afford it. It was just out of our price range. And we said, no, there was no hard feelings.
We saw them like the following weekend and asked ’em all about it, and it was great. Okay. Four engagement parties are unnecessary. And just another gift grab.
I am gonna say yes, they are unnecessary because I don’t want anyone to feel like you have to have one. So yes, I’m gonna say engagement parties are unnecessary. and. In all of my time of going to many, many weddings, I think I’ve only been to one or two engagement parties, and the ones I’ve been to, no, two, two or three.
The ones I’ve been to were more of like a proposal, like fun, surprise, engagement party after. It wasn’t like a special extra party. It was more like we were all waiting at someone’s house and then the couple came and so it turned into like a little mini engagement party. it was like just immediate family, very simple, just like desserts.
Um, I don’t even think there were gifts that I knew of. So it was very simple. So I think you can do it tastefully, and I think it’s. Totally fine to celebrate as an engagement party, but in general, I think they’re unnecessary. I don’t think you have to have one. There’s a lot of pressure. People feel like they have to, they see these, again, these Pinterest boards or social media like beautiful engagement parties, and they’re like, oh my gosh, another expense.
Like I never once felt like I had to have an engagement party again. when I got engaged, two of our best friend couples were there. when the proposal happened, then it turned into like, oh, we were having champagne with like, four of our closest friends. So if you wanna call that a mini engagement party, but not really, right?
No one else was there. Um, five. It’s rude to have a child free wedding if most of your guests have kids. No, it’s not rude. Again, it’s your choice as the couple getting married. Me personally, if I knew most of my guests, like, had small kids and like had to come with them, like maybe I would reconsider, but like a lot of our friends at the time we got married had kids and most of them were like, we need a night out.
We need a night away. But like for example, one of my, brides mates was like. Going through some family stuff before, and she didn’t know if she had a babysitter. And I was like, bring your daughter to the rehearsal dinner. We will figure it out. Like my first thought wasn’t like, keep kids away. It was like, how can I make sure we help you?
What do you need? And she was like, a persistent. She was like, no, no, no, I’m, not bringing her. I’m just, you know, it’s going on. I was like, okay, well that is an option. I’m not gonna turn you away. Like if you need to bring her, we can keep her occupied. There’s plenty of people here to help. but.
No, I never think, I don’t think it’s rude. I would not think it’s rude if someone invited just me and my husband. There are certain places that are only for adults and that’s okay. Six wedding speeches should be ca at three minutes, no exceptions. I’m gonna say no because I’ve heard some longer ones that are fine, but I would never go over like four, five, absolutely. Tops. They should be capped. I would say like four minutes I think is okay. it also depends on how many people are talking. If you have just one person giving a speech, go wild. Go four or five minutes. If you have multiple, then yes, let’s cut it off at two to three minutes.
Okay. Number seven, if the couple is paying for the wedding themselves, they shouldn’t have to invite extended family. They barely know. Um, 100%. Yeah, you I mean, you should never feel like you have to invite someone you don’t know, even if someone else is paying for it. or paying for part of it.
But that needs to be established ahead of time because we hear those crazy stories where people give money with strings attached and they say, well, you have to invite so and so. So before you accept money from somebody or talk about money, make sure it’s established. Like, this is how we’re having the wedding, though.
We will accept a gift of whatever, but this is how we’re doing it. And then if you feel like any strings are attached, then make sure you, uh, don’t accept that money. Okay. Posting your wedding registry for more than once is tacky. I’m gonna go with posting it at all. Um, I don’t think you should be posting your wedding registry.
Where are you posting it? I think you should put it on your bridal shower invite. And I think you should put it on your wedding website invitation. But posting any kind of registry to your social media? No. If that’s what this is talking about, um, no. We shouldn’t be doing GoFundMe or registries to the public.
people that we’re not inviting to these events, people that we don’t know, why are we accepting gifts from people that we wouldn’t invite to our own wedding? So yeah, posting it, no, we’re not gonna post it. Just give it to people that are invited to different events. Bridesmaids shouldn’t have to pay for their own dresses.
Uh, I go back and forth. I feel like if I were to get married now, I wouldn’t make them pay for it. but that was the only thing. I had them pay for everything else, like was covered and I was like, wear whatever shoes you want. Um, and the dresses were under a hundred dollars, but, So it’s kind of like something that you have to establish ahead of time, saying like, okay, I expect you to buy these dresses.
This is the budget we’re gonna look at. Um, it’s one of those things that communication can really help. but don’t make them pay thousands of dollars for a trip. So, yeah, I don’t know. I, I don’t think. It should be a guarantee, but I think if that’s what you kind of have in mind for your own wedding, just make sure you’re clear about it.
All right, last one. If someone declines your wedding invite, you shouldn’t expect to get a gift. I actually 100% agree with this. I think if you are invited to a wedding, if you are close to that person, you just can’t make it. You should send something. It doesn’t need to be huge. Or it could even just be a card, a small gift card, you know, buy a drink next time or out, whatever that is, depending on how close you are.
But as the bride or groom or anyone getting married, you should not expect a gift. For me, like if people said no, I was not expecting to hear from them or get something extra special from them, I’m like, no, you can just text me thing, like, congratulations. I don’t know. But even then it’s just like, no, I don’t think you should expect it.
People decline for all kinds of reasons. One could be financials, maybe they don’t have the money to do it. And I think if we’re inviting someone, it should be on, be beyond what they’re gonna give us. Okay. Here we go. Let’s get to this week’s blind reaction. My wedding was honestly a nightmare surrounded by difficult personalities with the lead up at just as chaotic.
My husband and I were young living in Boston, trying to plan a wedding that wouldn’t break the bank but would still be meaningful. We decided to put more of our money toward our honeymoon and a future down payment on a home that’s very smart. Uh, we got married in the Boston Common with our reception at the Old State House.
My dad contributed a couple thousand dollars, which helped with catering and deposits, and my father-in-law told my husband he would cover the bar. As the wedding got closer, my father-in-law sent a check for the bar for $100. Inside the car, he wrote that we should use it to buy plenty of milk. I still don’t know what that meant.
Wedding for a Condition
Around the same time during a visit to their house, which for contacts was worth over a million dollars, my father-in-law sat me down and told me I was not allowed to hyphenate my last name. I’m sorry, is he gonna be the one that has your name? Why? Why does that bother him? According to him, I either take their last name fully or call off the wedding.
Those are your only two options. Oh my gosh. I know so many women that kept their own last name because of different accomplishments they had. They wanted to keep it on their own name, or. They, Hyphenated. that’s up to you, not anyone else coming in and saying that his partner, who I’ll just refer to as my mother-in-law, okay.
Kept insisting on specific foods she wanted at the wedding and wouldn’t take no for an answer. They’re contributed a hundred dollars to the bar. They don’t have much strings to pull here.
I finally stood my ground and said, it’s my name and I can do what I want with it. And since you’re not contributing to the wedding, you don’t get a say on food. Yes, yes, yes. That didn’t go over well, but I was done being pushed around. We got married in 2000, 2001, just two weeks after nine 11. So travel was already stressful for my family, who all lived outta state.
My sister Dana arrived with my mom. My parents are divorced and it’s always been tense, and my older sister, Rachel, my maid of honor, arrived with her husband. Rachel had told me she booked a hotel suite for the night before the wedding for the two of us. Then she and her husband would stay there afterward.
She also booked a separate room for my husband and me the night of the wedding. That’s very nice. In another room for Dana and my mom. Okay. So she’s got two sisters, Dana and Rachel. Parents are divorced. okay. Rachel is the maid of honor they arrived with. Okay, got it. Got it, got it. Okay. We’re getting this, I feel like I’m always learning these new family trees and then I feel like you guys listening to the Bri all skit and you’re like, um, I don’t understand these connections.
I get it. It’s, it’s very confusing. Okay.
The plan was for Rachel to stay with me the night before the wedding while Dana stayed with my mom and family. The day before the wedding, Rachel and I were running all over the city, finishing last minute tasks. Everything was taking longer than expected. Meanwhile, my mom and Dana were at my aunt’s house about 45 minutes outside the city.
My mom insisted I pick them up later that night so we could all check the hotel later. As the day ran late, I asked her to find another ride since we were already behind. She refused.
Wow. I, there’s something that drives me so crazy about people running late for someone else’s event, like, can you not get it together for one day? Especially a mom like you need to get your shit together. Oh my gosh. So at 11:00 PM I was driving 45 minutes out of the city to pick them up. Sorry. Uh, why is that the bride’s problem?
Oh my gosh, that is wild. Okay. Loading all of my mom’s bags into the car, trying not to ruin my freshly done nails. And then driving back, we finally get to the hotel around midnight and That’s when I found out Rachel had actually booked the only suite for herself and her husband in a regular room for me.
Oh my gosh. No, that’s, oh, no. It’s so disappointing. Okay. At that point, I was too exhausted to even react. I went to bed the next morning, I went to check into my room and started to get ready and was told I didn’t have one. Apparently my reservation had been made at their sister hotel 20 minutes outside the city.
How did her sister mess it up though? Because when you’re on making a reservation, you’re on the one site, so unless she added this room later, you could just say, add a second room, and then it’s all billed together. Apparently my reservation had been made at their sister hotel, 20 minutes outside the city.
While I was trying to fix the situation at the front desk, Dana walked up mid-conversation and interrupted me and said, I thought you were taking me to the store to get a Pepsi. What? I looked over at her and said, you’re older than me. I think you can handle crossing the street to get that one.
Eventually the hotel sorted it out, and I finally got a room. Oh my gosh. I went upstairs and started getting ready, trying to relax. Then it started raining for my outdoor wedding. I ignored it, hoping it would pass while I was doing my makeup. I pulled out a new lipstick I had just bought. Dana walked in and said she loved it and tried to use it.
“It’s About the Mother”
I literally had to take it back from her and explain that. No, I will not be sharing my lipstick on my wedding day. Oh my gosh. Once I was fully dressed, I walked into the room where my mom was expecting at least some kind of reaction. Instead, she looked at me and said, you know, weddings are really about the mother of the bride.
What? This is actually my day. I can’t believe when people say this is, did this really happen? Dude, no. They’re really about the mother of the bride. How full of yourself can you be? I looked straight at her and said, no, it’s not. She just laughed and walked away. Thankfully, the rain stopped and we headed to the Boston Common, but when we arrived, another couple had started setting up a wedding in our exact spot.
Guests Taking It Too Far
My husband showed them our permit, and even though they admitted they didn’t have one. They just asked for a few minutes. 30 minutes later, we were finally able to start the ceremony. When it came time for photos, I started noticing everything else. My father-in-law showed up wearing navy sweatpants in a stained sweatshirt.
Can we now get it together for one day? People are late. You’re showing up like in your holy, like old Holy, I guess shouldn’t say it was holy, but stained sweatshirt. Come on. One of my husband’s friends brought a random date he just met earlier. What, despite not being given a plus one, and she was very clearly not dressed for the occasion, someone else brought their 11 month old baby to our child free wedding, which upset my cousin who had followed the rules and left her kids at home.
That’s the thing too, that really sucks when you have a child free wedding and someone breaks the rules and they’re either just like, allow them or they sneak in. Then the people who actually did, you know, try to get a babysitter. Follow the rules, you know, whatever that looks like. That’s disappointing to them.
’cause they’re like, well, this person was able to do it. So follow the rules. don’t be an a-hole at the reception. My mother-in-law began hovering around the waitstaff, grabbing food of trays off as soon as she, as soon as they came out, okay. At one point, she literally reached between two guests to take their last appetizer before one of them could grab it.
Oh my gosh. Then started stashing the food away instead of eating it. We eventually had to tell her to stop. Then my father-in-law looked at me and said, nice dress. See what a little makeup can do for you. Gross. Okay. This father-in-law is gross. Why is he making comments about like, You have to change your last name or just not get married.
You have to do like, he’s so gross to me. One of my husband’s friends overheard and added, yeah, a nice dress. It looked even better on the floor while nudging me and laughing. Ew. Immediately excused from the wedding. Which husband’s friend? Is he still friends with this person? ’cause that’s a red flag that would make me so incredibly uncomfortable.
Your husband should not be okay with him being your friend or with his friend being like that. Shortly after my cousin handed me her phone and said someone just wanted to talk to me. It was her daughters yelling at me for having a kid’s free wedding and calling me a horrible person. Okay, I get it. Now, you guys, sometimes you guys will be like, these stories sound fake.
This sounds so like wild. And I’m not. Of course, like someone sent this to me. I’m like, what? They’re gonna hand the phone to a bride and say like, you’re horrible. You didn’t invite us. Like, oh my gosh. At that point, I was completely drained. After the reception, we changed and went out to the bar near Fenway.
It was supposed to be the night, just just friends. But my sister insisted on coming. My mom complained until I gave in once there, my sister refused to socialize because she didn’t know anyone, so I ended up sitting with her in a corner all night. Ugh, this makes me so sad for her watching. My husband and our friends actually enjoy themselves.
Eventually I had enough. We went back to the hotel and my husband completely exhausted and drunk, fell asleep almost instantly. The next day, we were supposed to leave for our honeymoon when we found out. The war in Afghanistan had just begun and our international flights were canceled. See, I in 2001, I was in sixth grade, so I don’t remember.
I mean, I remember like finding out about the planes hitting the towers and how terrible and tragic. I remember being terrified. I was in sixth grade, we saw it on tv. Right. So she doesn’t say what month this happens. and I don’t remember, the timeline for this, but I didn’t realize that like I mean, I guess I remember domestic flights getting canceled around nine 11, but wow.
International flights, that takes you back. Okay. At that point I just said, forget it. I rented a car and we drove out west to Utah and Colorado for two weeks. Instead, I turned my phone off the entire time. That was smart. Honestly, I think I enjoyed being away from our families for more, more than the actual honeymoon.
Well, at least you kind of realized at the end of the day like what meant most to you, and at least you guys had that great honeymoon together. But that does suck when there’s so many different angles and people trying to pull away from your day. Weird, weird comments from people. I really hope you’re not friends with that one guy anymore, or the husband’s not.
I could never be around that person again. and the father-in-law, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I don’t know how you’ll deal with that and what did you end up doing with your last name, I’m guessing, hoping you still hyphenated and don’t let him, convince you otherwise. but it’s really wild.
You know, people comment to comment sometimes, like, well, you’re only getting one person’s perspective. How do you know it’s a hundred percent true? And the honest, I mean, honest to God fact is I, I don’t know. I can never know. People send me stories all the time. We have like 600 plus right now that we are, we sift through every single week.
and you know, we don’t know. Plus, like when something happens to you, you’re gonna view it differently. Even if you’re in the same room as someone, you’re gonna view things differently, tones of voice, how people are standing, like your memory is just gonna hold differently. And so when we’re only getting it from one perspective, of course some things are gonna be like, you know, a little more dramatized or you’re gonna add in extra characters that maybe someone else didn’t notice.
Um. At the end of the day, we’re all entertained, right? Um, and I think we can only take them as, you know, entertainment or lessons for future events or parties or weddings we’re at. Um, don’t be, these people don’t act that way. Just support people. you know, you don’t have to spend hundreds and hundreds on a new dress, but make sure it’s not like stain don’t, like wasn’t something you slept in.
Uh, it’s wild. It’s wild that some of these things have to be said out loud, but, you know, teach their own, I guess. All right. Let’s get into some confessions today. We’ve got a lot going on today, so I should probably get off and get some skits filmed or something. Actually, I have to pack, I, this wallpaper has to go away.
Goodbye wallpaper and they don’t make it anymore. So I can’t, I don’t know. We’ll see what we do at the new place. Alright. I was kicked out of the group family photo as the bride because family only, you know what? I’ve heard of this happening a lot and this is again, one of those things with your relationship and mutual respect because my own wedding, my husband took a picture with his family.
We obviously took one with all of us, but he took one with his immediate family. And I’m not offended by that at all. ‘ cause I feel like that’s important. that’s totally fine. But it was something deliberately where I was like, pushed out of it and were like, oh, we need one without her. But they did those photos separately when I was like, not even out yet.
but again, I would never be offended though if like they were like, oh, we want a picture with just our kids. Yeah, those are your kids and you should have a different relationship with them than me. Um, right after having my son at the next wedding, the mother son dance had me bawling. I couldthose kind of moments hit way differently.
Even just seeing my husband dance with my daughter now I’m like sobbing. I’m like, oh my gosh, I can’t, especially this week. Uh uh. Yeah, those moments just hit differently. I think once you have kids, seeing my friends get married, happy for them. But wish I got married too. Oh, I mean, if that’s something you want, hopefully it happens for you.
I know people don’t always want that kind of like advice, you know. Hopefully your time will come. Um, you know, nothing’s a guarantee, but I think like if you are out there looking for it, your time will come. And, I hear that a lot from, I’ve seen that a lot from people too. It’s hard when it seems like all your friends are married and you’re the only one not married.
I was the last of my friends to get married and I was just excited to support them at that time. And I knew, you know, my time would come eventually.
so for these confessions, I totally forgot to say this, it’s a moment you cried privately at your or someone else’s wedding. I was postpartum and cried at the mother Sundance because I visualized my future. Okay. There’s another one. When I signed the last time with my birth name. Oh wow. I still feel weird.
I’ve been married four years and I still feel weird signing my new last name. I still call it my new last name. I remember saying it to someone and she was like, oh, did you just get married? And I’m like, no, it’s been years and I still like, it’s so weird to me. Like I forget all the time a friend’s wedding with all the people from our squad, except one guy, my fiance.
Okay. Um, my friend looked, my first look with my dad told me it was too late to change anything now, and I do. Your dad said it was too late to change anything now. Oh. Like in a good way. Like, okay, we’re here. Like, just enjoy the day on the cake cutting. When my husband smashed cake all over my face, I cried during cleanup.
Immediate divorce. Immediate divorce. No, it’s not cool to smash cake on your. Partner space. It’s just not, I don’t care. It’s just not. All right guys. That’s all I have for this week. Thanks for hanging out with me. Thanks for letting me be vulnerable. I can’t believe I cried on this episode. hopefully that doesn’t happen again.
Hopefully you guys wanna still visit me next week. but yeah, let’s going on. Hopefully I don’t drive myself crazy. And thanks for being here. Bye now.