wedding planning chaos

A $16K Scam, a Shocking Threat, & Knowing Your Limits - with Kendra Matthies

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They cried. They complained. They blamed everyone else. And then the check bounced.

This week’s wedding submission spirals into accusations, threats, and a bounced $16K check that leaves vendors stunned. Joined by Kendra Matthies, Christa dissects the chaos, calling out toxic wedding norms, contract misunderstandings, and entitlement disguised as innocence.

Then we dive into wedding confessions: maid of honor regrets, guest list battles, and the quiet urge to just elope. Buckle up, this one is totally WILD!

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Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

Step Back to Protect Health – The burnout no one talks about, and how constant entitlement can push vendors to their breaking point.
The $16K Wedding Scam – A venue hosts a full wedding… then the final check bounces and chaos erupts.
Cake on the Floor, Tears in the Room – Accusations fly after a cake mishap sparks emotional manipulation and blame.
“We Know the Owner” Energy – Why entitlement shows up loudest at weddings and small businesses feel it hardest.
Pastor Threats & Legal Pressure – A shocking twist involving church leadership and intimidation tactics.
Vendor Survival Tips – Kendra breaks down contracts, deposits, and protecting your business.
Elopement Temptation – Skipping the drama and choosing peace over performance.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“My wedding is important to me, but I don’t expect it to be the most important thing in everyone else’s life.” – Christa Innis
“I feel like if I’m doing too much work, I’m not enough of a mom or not enough of a wife or a friend.” – Christa Innis
“Contracts exist because of people like this.” – Christa Innis
“Your wedding was literally built on a lie.” – Christa Innis
“People love boundaries until they apply to them.” – Christa Innis
“At some point, this stops being ignorance and starts being entitlement.” – Christa Innis
“You don’t have to have a chronic illness to need to know your limits.” – Kendra Matthies
“Give an inch, they take a mile, every single time.” – Kendra Matthies
“If you signed the contract, that’s on you. Don’t blindly sign, consult.” – Kendra Matthies
“As a business owner, your pricing should protect you, not depend on tips.” – Kendra Matthies
“Stop expecting discounts from people you barely know.” – Kendra Matthies
“It is never worth it to put yourself in debt for a wedding.” – Kendra Matthies
“There are twenty-four hours in a day, and we’re not awake for all of them.” – Kendra Matthies

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

About Kendra

Kendra Matthies is a Michigan‑based bridal makeup artist, licensed esthetician, beauty educator, and social creator with over a million fans across social platforms. She’s built her career helping hundreds of brides glow on their big day and teaching other artists how to thrive in the beauty world, with real talk about technique, clients, and the sometimes brutal backstage truth of weddings and events.

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A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi, Kendra.

Kendra Matthies: Hey, how’s it going?

Christa Innis: Good. Thank you so much for coming back on. I’m so excited.

Kendra Matthies: It’s so great to be back. It does not feel like it’s been like what, a year since we filmed our last episode together, so I’m so excited. It’s been so cool to see how your podcast has grown.

I’ve loved watching everybody’s little interviews and everything. It’s been really entertaining, so it’s super cool to be back again.

Christa Innis: I know. I, I think the fun thing about it is just being able to connect to so many people. Like, I feel like if it weren’t for this podcast, like we would never have had like a sit down to like, talk like this or, yeah, it’s, it just makes it so fun and like forces me outta my shell too, because like, I feel like working from home, like I just like, I just have like a plan of like what I do and like a lot of times I don’t see a lot of people, so it’s a great, great way to connect.

Kendra Matthies: Hey, I won’t lie. This is the first time I’ve worn makeup in like a month beyond just like tinted SPF and some freaking mascara. I’m like, well, I better put on a face today because I’m filming an episode. So thank you for giving me a reason to get dolled up. Hey,

Christa Innis: anytime. No, you feel like people expect you as a makeup artist?

Like, like, oh, they expect me to have full face.

Kendra Matthies: So, yes, and I will say that it’s, if I’m doing makeup clients, I do try to put like a little bit more makeup on, but my day to day, I’m an esthetician. So I mean, my day to day is more like facial clients, eyebrows, lashes, things like that. And I feel like most of my clients are more regulars now where they’re coming every six to eight weeks, and I don’t think that they really care that I’m just wearing some tinted moisturizer and a little bit of mascara.

But when it comes to makeup clients, I think that it does. One, there is that level of professionalism. I feel, and this can be heavily debated too, like some people feel you don’t have to wear makeup as a professional makeup artist while you are doing work. But for me, I find that the very few times that I haven’t done that, I get a lot more questioning my skills.

I guess that, if that makes sense, where it’s like, um, are you sure you’re gonna be able to do this? So I think being able to be like, I do know how to do makeup. Right. It’s a little bit more comforting to the person. Yeah. And a little bit more encouraging. Yeah.

Christa Innis: I feel like that’s probably, yeah, like a natural thing.

Like, oh, if you’re hiring for someone for hair or for nails, you are looking at their hand and nails. Although I feel like whenever I get my nails done, like they’re probably just like so busy that like they are more worried about their client and less about their own. Yeah. Which makes sense for sure. So, so like we said, it’s been like a year since you’ve been on, so what’s like.

What’s been new for you? What have you kind of done over the last year that you’re like, I know you’ve been speaking at events I’ve been seeing and Yes. What’s kind of your big thing you’re working on or did the last year? So

From 60 Weddings to Choosing Balance

Kendra Matthies: in the past year, it was a lot of traveling. I did a lot of traveling last year.

I went to a bunch of different conferences. I taught a lot at different conferences around the country. Um, I did my first kind of like independent class where it wasn’t in relation to any of those, and that was really exciting. Um, but yeah, I mean, I got to go to Anaheim. I got to go to Orlando, Chicago, Denver, uh, yeah, kind of all over.

Christa Innis: Is it, is it all like. Students that go to your classes or can like anyone go to

Kendra Matthies: your class? So it is typically for the conferences and stuff, those are beauty professionals only. Okay. But people who are in cosmetology school, esthetician school, anything like that they can come to. But these ones, it is more of like just for the industry, but they’re very, very packed.

Um, so it’s definitely not like I’m feeling like I’m missing out on seeing a lot of people, which is really cool too. It definitely feels like I’m still offering a good amount of education. But yeah, mostly more beauty professionals when it comes to those types of things. I would love to do more open to the public type of classes.

Um, it’s just trying to find the time between bridal season to make that happen. Um. But yeah, so it definitely got to meet a lot of the beauty, uh, students, makeup artists, cosmetologists, hairstylists, barbers, all the things. Yeah. Uh, that follow me in person. So that was really nice. And I love doing these events.

Um, like the one that happens in Chicago. I’ve done that for, I think this is my fourth year being with them teaching. Um, and so it’s been cool to just see the growth of myself, but also when people come back and they’re taking my classes again, and now they’re telling me, you know, I, when I first came, I was still a student and now I own my own makeup studio, or I own my own salon, or I’ve been at a salon for however many years and I’m getting steady clientele.

Like, it’s just been really cool to do that. So that has been a big thing travel wise. And then just weddings. I mean, I was pretty busy this year. I did make the decision to. Kind of step back from taking every wedding. And mostly because I one was doing so much other traveling with teaching and things like that.

Like I do need to have the availability to do that, even though I did still have where I would be leaving a wedding to jump on a flight to go teach at these places. Right. Um, but I did take a step back typically in a year. You know, I would take anywhere from 50 to 60 ish weddings, but I just, that’s wild.

It’s a lot. And I made the decision last year to step back and I wanted to take only about 30 weddings just to give myself a little bit more time. Um, which I think was really smart. Uh, not just for me, but it let me learn a lot about myself and, uh. I think it was the really healthy thing for me to do and I think that it’s gonna be a good thing that I learned those things to share with other people.

Just things like burnout, man, like yeah, it’s so easy to get locked into the go, go, go. And once you do, take that step back, it’s like, whoa. I don’t, I guess I have been like in fight or flight for the past eight years because I’ve just been doing so many weddings. So I did make that decision. That’s something I’m moving forward with, um, in 26 as well, is just less weddings.

More educating is kind of my goal too. I want to do more teaching this year. But yeah, so weddings last year I got to do my first couple, um, further out of state weddings, which was exciting. I got to go to New York to do a wedding. Um, so yeah, just lots. Travel was kind of the theme of last year. Just go, go, go.

But awesome.

Christa Innis: I feel like that’s a really like common thing I hear, like, whether it’s like wedding industry or just like starting your own business. It’s like. It’s really exciting, like when your business grows and you just wanna say yes to everybody. And I’ve like, I feel like I’ve had so many conversations with people, they’re like, all of a sudden it just like hit me like I’m burned out.

I can’t say yes to everybody. I was talking to a wedding planner, I’m trying to think of what month it was, maybe like a month or two ago. A friend of mine and she was like, similar thing. Like she was like, I’m finally like toning it back, back with weddings a little bit because she was doing like 50, 40, 50 a year.

And most of them are in that like wedding season. And she like, it’s just exhausting. But you’re just like, go, go, go. And you’re like, this is exciting, it’s fun. But then you realize like, I don’t have time to myself or like my body hurts. I’m actually like. Well, and

POTS, Passing Out, and Pushing Through

Kendra Matthies: that’s the thing too. That’s something I really had to be mindful of.

I think I’ve shared this before, but I am somebody that I do struggle with chronic illnesses and I am physically disabled. I have my hip replaced. So I mean, I do feel like as I’m getting older, I do need to also be mindful of myself. Mm-hmm. Because there were times in recent years before I did take that step back where.

I would get done with a wedding. And actually, here’s a good little story for me to tell. I guess I had a wedding where it was at a hotel and I had a pretty decently long day on average. Nowadays, the most I will take alone to do makeup is probably about seven, maybe eight people, but probably closer to seven.

I don’t like to go over that too much because it’s just, that’s a lot of standing without being able to take a drink of water or go to the bathroom, things like that. Um, so I had, I wanna say around about eight people and I got done with the wedding. I had been there from like, I wanna say five to five, six, so 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

Okay. 12, one o’clock. Sorry. Math is not my strong suit at this moment. That’s okay. So let’s say I got done around like one, um, and I say goodbye to everybody. Everybody’s happy, everything’s awesome, and I knew I was not feeling well. Um, so one of the conditions I have, it’s called pots, which you may have heard of before.

It stands for postural orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. For those who are listening who don’t know what that is. And in very, very, very basic terms, when I am standing, my heart rate is elevated. When I am in the heat, it gets elevated even more. That’s a trigger for me. Um, high stress situations can cause me to get like even worse.

So I get done with the, uh, wedding, take the elevator downstairs, uh, go out to my car and I put my stuff in my car. Sit down. I leaned back and I closed my eyes and I actually passed out. I didn’t realize that I did. Oh my gosh. But it was probably about, I would say, somewhere between like five to eight minutes before I like opened my eyes again.

And that’s when I realized that I needed to start calming down. I needed to start taking less weddings. So after that wedding that was, I wanna say in 24, leading into 25, I decided I just needed to really skill back. So I think that if it wouldn’t have been for something like that happening, I probably still would be pushing myself.

But for anybody listening, you don’t have to have a chronic illness. You don’t have to be physically disabled, you don’t have to be anything to I. Need to know your limits, to need to know what your end goal really is. Do you want to constantly be in a state of stress with like panic all the time of planning or, um, you know, free time for yourself?

Your work shouldn’t be your life. Like, yeah, you should be able to have somewhat of a balance. And I did see somebody post something recently, like, does anyone know when I actually reach this work life balance? Like, is that even a thing? And I think that there’s no real set template of this is what works, this is what doesn’t work.

You kind of just have to figure it out as you go. And that’s kind of what I’ve had to do is just realize once I hit my limit, scale back until it feels. Comfortable.

Christa Innis: Yeah. That’s so funny you say that because I, I just made a video talking about, I don’t know if it was necess, I might have been kind of like implying work-life balance, but I did say something about like, one of the things I’m struggling with is trying to find balance.

’cause I feel like mm-hmm. The planner part in me always wants things to be like this. And when I’m not productive I get so hard on myself. And so I’ll have like days where I’m like, everything’s like done, that I need to, I check the boxes. And the other days where I’m just not productive and I’m just like, where’s this balance?

Or like, I feel like if I’m doing too much work, I’m not enough of a mom or I’m not enough of a wife or a friend. You know, that pull of like needing to do all these things. So I totally relate.

Kendra Matthies: I think that one thing that I heard in my life. From just a friend of mine, and I don’t even think she was trying to be any sort of inspirational thing or anything.

Yeah, she was just talking. She said that if I’m ever over excelling in one portion of my life, I’m failing in another. Mm-hmm. And that has really stuck with me. And I don’t think that that’s negative, like necessarily a negative thing. I think that if you think of your life as right now, I want to be really excelling in my career, you have to also understand that that does equate that maybe you’re.

Weekends are a little bit less, your friend time is gonna be a little bit less, and it’s not ever to me that things will ever be 50 50 balance. I think that if you want to be excelling in one way, you have to give up a couple of things for it to be balanced so that you’re not trying to keep up with the friendships every single weekend we’re going out.

It’s just not possible. And then you’re putting way too much pressure on yourself when at the end of the day, especially in this type of career, when your own, you are your own boss, you’re setting your own goals and aspirations and things like that. The only person who is holding you to that standard is you.

So if you are being so hard on yourself with things like that, you’re never gonna feel balanced. You’re never gonna feel like you’re accomplishing enough and you’re never gonna feel like you. You’ve done it, you’ve ne you’re never gonna feel comfortable. You’re never gonna feel stable. You’re always gonna be reaching for more or wanting to do more.

And it’s not bad to have goals and have aspirations, but you can’t, you can’t stress to yourself out to the point that you are holding yourself to not possible standards like it, it physically can’t happen. There’s 24 hours in a day. People love to say that. Mm-hmm. We’re not awake and going for 24 hours in a day.

So I think that you just have to, as a person, whether you are just a person, person, whether you’re a business owner, entrepreneur, makeup artist, whatever, the balance doesn’t come 50 50. It’s how can I rearrange things in my life to feel like what I’m wanting to focus on right now? Is what I’m focusing on and I’m not stressing about trying to uphold other things too.

Mm-hmm. I hope that makes sense.

Christa Innis: No, it totally does. No, I love that because it’s kinda like different seasons require different balances and different priorities. Mm-hmm. Because, yeah, you made a good point. It was like last year was my first full year, I would say, as an entrepreneur. I started in 2023 of my own business, but last year with like the social media consulting and all that stuff.

And so I think I put like so much effort in it, but it was also my daughter’s second year of life. She’s like, I’m trying to think of like how the year’s worth Yeah. Versus birthdays so second year of life. So I’m like, oh, it’s such an important stage. And then there’s the mom guilt and so you like push it back and forth.

But I’m like, I also have the benefit of being home with her. So I do get to be home with her more than I think most working moms get to. So I kind have to remember like that’s, that’s a something that I get that, or what’s the word I’m looking for? That’s a. A privilege or an like, something that I have that not a lot of people are able to do.

So, um, so, you know, just kind of realizing those things and, and stepping outside of it is like, is important. So yeah. I feel like that was like a mini therapy session. Thank you.

Kendra Matthies: Oh yeah. You’re welcome. Most of that comes to you via my therapist. Thank you Theresa. We love you. Thank you. Yes.

Christa Innis: I always hear things like that.

I’m like, maybe I should go back to therapy. I’m like, just so I have someone like talk to you about things like that. ’cause it’s like, no,

Kendra Matthies: I think everybody needs a therapist. I think everybody should go to therapy. Even if you don’t feel like you are struggling with something right now. Even if it’s not like I need therapy.

You know what I mean? I don’t think that, I don’t think that you will ever not benefit from having somebody to talk to that’s not biased, that can help you work through situations. Even if it’s just that you’re going through a hard time at work or. Kind of what we’re talking about. Like maybe you are struggling with mom guilt.

I wouldn’t say when you’re struggling with those things, most people in your life are gonna be like, wow, you need therapy. Right. But I do think that if you are in therapy while you’re going through those things in your life, you’re gonna benefit from it. You’re never gonna be like, why did I even sit through that therapy session?

I think you can always benefit from therapy. Oh,

Christa Innis: for sure. Yeah. I think it’s like one of those things where it’s just good to sometimes like say it out loud. Yeah. Because I even like the people that submit stories to me too, like these like wedding drama stories or relationship things. They, they always tell me at the end, or should say like a lot of times at the end they’re like, even if you don’t use this, it was really good for me just to like type it out.

’cause they’re like, it allowed me to like see what happened and understand how I feel about it. ’cause I think so many times, like we’re talking about is like, go, go, go. What the heck just happened? Oh, well next problem. You know, you kind of just push it aside. So I think it’s absolutely so beneficial. And I think therapy too is way less stigmatized than it was like when we were like children maybe.

Kendra Matthies: Yeah.

Christa Innis: I’ve definitely gone to therapy multiple times in my life at like different points where like stress was super high or something was going on. But it’s funny, I’ve told someone this also in this one before, probably not on the podcast, but um, the last therapist I had, um, I loved her. She was great, but she like dismissed me at the end.

She’s like, all right, I think we solved the problem. We’re gonna be done now. And then, like she just said, I was done. And I remember telling my boss at the time, ’cause he’s really like, open about therapy and mental health. Yeah. It’s like, oh, I’ve never had that happen before. And I was like, I, that I’ve never had that happen to me either.

Kendra Matthies: Yeah. I’ve, I’ve gone to therapy for the past. I wanna say that I started therapy in 2020 and I’ve been seeing the same therapist since then. And I’ve taken breaks, you know, when. I got off my parents’ insurance or whatever and I, well I can’t afford it right now. I gotta pay for that. Um, yeah. And then gotten back on with her and yeah, there’s never been a time even when I felt like I was doing well and the therapy was more of just like a moment for me to check in with myself, I guess.

Um. Where she’s been like, alright, great. The only thing I would say that she ever says is, do you feel like we still need to meet monthly? Or would you wanna maybe push it out to two months? That makes sense to me. But to be like, well, we solved the problem. I don’t think that therapy always needs to be, and I’m not saying that it’s never this way, but I don’t think that it always needs to be solving the problem to end it.

Because problems keep coming up in life. Things keep happening. Who’s to say that She didn’t say? Um, you know, we solved the problem. That’s it. And then a week later you have some major tragedy happen in your life and you have nobody to talk to.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Kendra Matthies: I mean, you have friends, you have family, but you don’t have an unbiased person who knows how you think, knows how you processes things.

Yeah. So that’s, that’s kind of odd. I’m sorry you

Christa Innis: had that experience. Oh yeah. It was so odd. I was just like, at the time I was like, oh, cool. And then later I was like, wait, is that supposed to happen? I don’t know. Yeah. It was weird. Maybe I need therapy to talk about that therapy.

Kendra Matthies: You’re like, actually,

Christa Innis: actually, anyway, I feel like I got off.

Um, oh, there’s no topic. Whatever. We’re, we’re talking

Kendra Matthies: we’re yapping. It’s fine.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Back to pause really quick. I just have a quick question about that. So like, yeah, what was your first, like symptoms you just noticed like your heart rate would kind of increase

Kendra Matthies: a long time? So I have a little bit of an odd story kind of when it comes to my health in general.

Um, so I have always really struggled with, like, exercise was always really difficult for me and not in the sense of like, I don’t wanna do it, but it would be like, I don’t want to do it as a child and like I’m running, playing basketball and I’m great at sports and I’m awesome at like these things at a young age, but.

I’m having to like ask to get taken out to take a break and I’m like beat red and blood pooling in my legs and all that. Yeah. I really noticed it amping up after I had my hip replaced. Um, and I’ve, POTS is one of a few things that I deal with, but I mean, I was on, or not even my hip replace, I have had two hip surgeries on the same hip.

The first one was a like experimental one to see if we could kind of push off the replacement so that I wouldn’t have to get multiple throughout my life. Um, but it only gave me like four-ish years of relief. Yeah. Um, so after that surgery I was still on the crutches from that surgery and I actually passed out.

And it was a whole thing. I was at work. I’m gonna pause for a second ’cause my neighbor’s coming downstairs. No, you’re good. We’ll edit this out. Yeah.

Okay. So, um,

okay. So I had had my first hip surgery and I actually passed out at work, like smacked my head off of a counter. It was a whole thing. Paramedics had to come. It was not great. Um, but then I was noticing like it was just happening a lot more and. Mostly it was like starting to amp up. The more I was like stressed because I found out now for me, stress and the heat are like my biggest triggers when it comes to pot, my pots.

Um, and so I had a family member pass away and I had to sing at their funeral. And I don’t even remember the last like verse that I’m singing. Thank God I said the words correctly. Um, but I sang that stepped back. I was up in the balcony, so thankfully I wasn’t also in front of everybody. But I like stepped back, looked over to a family friend and was like, I’m gonna pass out.

She took me downstairs fine. Um, and then after my second surgery, my hip replacement, that’s when a lot of my other chronic illnesses started. Um, I also have a condition called mast cell activation syndrome, which. Basically for me, your mast cells are the cells that kind of check out foreign invaders, like things coming into the body and they go, we good or not good?

I’m not a medical professional, so if I’m saying this wrong, but I do know that they are the reason that histamine is put out. And so for me, my mast cells are kind of always activated, hence mast cell activation syndrome. Um, but what that means for me is I’ve developed a lot of allergies, um, and I can like develop new ones to random things and that might be just, I’m itchy, but it’s also like I go anaphylactic.

So I have to be, I’ve had a whole life shift because of all of that. Um, but because of my mast cell activation syndrome and um, pots. If one of them gets mad, the other one gets mad. So I’ve had a couple of times where I’ve, I mean, I’ve passed out quite a bit and not everyone with POTS will, that’s kind of a misconception.

Like people with pots stand up and instantly pass out. That’s not typically the case. Like some people will, but it’s more of like a constant state of feeling, um, like out of it, I guess. Like brain fog is massive with pots. Um, I, it’s, it affects your entire autonomic nervous system. So that’s like breathing, that’s like digestion.

That’s your heart rate, your temperature control, things like that. Mm-hmm. Um, so it’s affected me in a lot of ways, which is again, when I started realizing like, okay, this is affecting me when I’m taking too many weddings. That’s, I really need to step back, but. Definitely it was like heart racing. Um, I wear a device that’s called a visible armband.

I’m not wearing it today because I’m sitting, but it basically will show me second by second what’s going on with my heart rate and alert me if I’ve been in the red zone for too long, if I am, you know, more opt to, uh, need to take a break or anything like that. So, mm-hmm. I wear that now. But, uh, yeah, it, it’s not fun.

It’s definitely been one of the most debilitating things for me. Um, and I think that. It’s something that I wanna talk more about. So I’m glad that we get to talk about it here because we don’t, we don’t really get to see much representation of people that are entrepreneurs that are also dealing with things like this, or business owners that are dealing with things like this.

I feel like it’s kind of stereotypical that it’s more like you’re a boss, babe, and you’re just go, go, go. Awesome. And what people don’t see with people like me who are chronically ill or whatever are, you know, the days that, I mean, I’ve even had here, this is, I’m at my store right now, but I’ve even had here where between clients I know I’ve got 20 minutes, I am not doing well, and I’m taking my emergency meds, I’m laying on the floor with my feet elevated for 15 minutes and then quick getting back to it, pushing through that.

And then same thing between clients. I’m just having to take breaks. So, yeah. That was a really long thing,

Christa Innis: but No, no, but that’s good. Like you said, it’s something that I think all people can learn more about and I think be able to see like the behind the curtain kind of thing because Yeah. Um, it’s, it’s something that’s not talked about a lot and so that’s why I was like really curious about like your first symptoms and then kind of how you handle it now when you know it’s like coming on or, you know, feeling a certain type.

Kendra Matthies: It’s, it’s hard too because the handling it thing isn’t really like, it’s one of those conditions that there’s a huge. Spectrum. You could be somebody with pots and if you’re listening to this now and you have pots that this is the case, please comment below because I want people to feel not alone, but you could be somebody with pots that you are on disability, you can’t get out of bed, you’re having people coming to your house, giving you IV infusions at home because you physically can’t stand.

Mm-hmm. It can be that severe. And then there’s people like me that are kind of somewhere in the middle, like in wedding season, which unfortunately for me is when here is obviously like summer fall, when it’s warmer. So I’m getting like at least monthly infusions, but people aren’t seeing that. I’m not showing that, oh, come with me to get my iv.

Right. Um, and then constantly taking salt pills so that my blood pressure stays somewhat level. Um, making sure that I’m like actually forcing myself to take. Drinks and stuff like that, working that time into my client’s timelines, things like that. Um, there’s this huge spectrum of pots and I think that it’s becoming more well known, which I’m really happy about, but I think that people aren’t seeing enough of working people with it.

And so it can be a little bit like, oh, well if you have pots, why aren’t you just on disability? It’s not easy to do that. It’s not easy to, yeah. You know, so thank you for letting me talk about that. I’m really happy that I got to share that with people.

Christa Innis: No, of course. Yeah, and you make a good point too, about, I think like in general, when someone hear about a disability or an autoimmune, they’ll, they’ll relate to one person they know and they don’t realize everything is a spectrum.

So some people have very severe symptoms all the time, like you said, and some maybe internally battling every single day. And some might have some, uh, some smaller symptoms or, you know. Yeah. And so I think it’s important to see that there’s a wide span and to just, you know, give grace to people and kind understand it kind of, every situation might be a little bit different as well.

Kendra Matthies: Absolutely. Absolutely.

Christa Innis: Thank you for sharing that. No, I, I was curious ’cause uh, I, I didn’t really know much about it.

Kendra Matthies: Yeah. Yes.

Wedding Etiquette Under the Microscope

Christa Innis: Um, okay. So let’s get into some of the. Wedding hot takes before we get to the story. Mm-hmm. So, okay. Started a new thing since last time, because I don’t think we did this last time.

Red flag or green flag? Mm. So you’re just gonna, I’m gonna say a sentence and then you’ll just say if it’s a red flag or a green flag.

Kendra Matthies: Okay.

Christa Innis: Okay. Replacing a bridesmaid close to the wedding,

Kendra Matthies: that’s a hard one though, because I guess I know I should, I know you wanna answer a red flag, green flag. It really depends on the situation though. I know, I know. That’s a hard one. So, as a vendor, I would say maybe it’s red flag for planning purposes and like scheduling purposes, depending on how close, like if it’s the day before, like Right.

That can be a little bit like jarring, but I don’t wanna say it’s a full red flag because. If that person in your bridal party was going to be chaotic or causing you tons of stress, or maybe there’s been a massive falling out green flag, please don’t have them there. I don’t wanna have to be around that either.

I don’t wanna be set in in that stressful situation and I don’t want my client in that stressful situation. So, man, that’s a hard one. I would say that really depends, but I’m leaning, I guess, more towards green.

Christa Innis: I know. I feel the same way. I feel like a lot of these scenarios, there’s so much, like so many details that could change it.

Yeah. It’s like everyone’s perspective and Yeah. Um, okay. Expecting attendance and every pre-wedding event. Say that again? Expecting attendance at every pre-wedding event. So the brides like you have to come to the engagement party, the shower, all that.

Kendra Matthies: No, that’s a red flag to me. You can’t expect everyone to be everywhere all the time.

I think that what people lose the plot on a lot when they’re brides is thinking that. I think when you’re a bride, that is the most important thing to you. That’s what the majority of your planning is going towards for at least a year in most cases. Um, so to you, that’s like end goal, most important thing.

That’s, think of the times that you’ve been in a wedding though. Maybe if it’s like your best, best friend, but like life goes on, you have other things going on. Maybe your, maybe somebody in your bridal party or an attendant or something. Maybe they have somebody else getting married. They can’t come. Like you can’t expect people to just always, always be there.

Is it nice? Yes. But I would never hold it against somebody if they couldn’t come to something. I mean, I had people RSVP yes to my wedding. I had a very small wedding. We had like 50 people. Mm-hmm. And I had people very close to me. RSVP. Yes. And they couldn’t come because of X, Y, or Z was I like, oh, that sucks.

But I wasn’t like, oh my gosh, I’m never talking to that person again. I can’t believe they wouldn’t come. Like that’s, that’s a little bit of a red flag to me.

Christa Innis: I know. It always gets lost on me when they’re like, you must attend every single thing. My wedding’s the priority and I’m like, I realize that everyone else has lives too.

My wedding is the, like, yeah, it’s important to me, but like I don’t expect it to be the most important thing to everybody else or anybody else for that matter. No. Yeah. I mean, that’s crazy. Like I have friends that couldn’t come to the Bachelorette or the shower and I was like, right, your family, your health, your whatever you’re going through goes, it’s first.

Exactly. We’ll, we will live. Um, okay. Um, cash bars, red or green cash

Kendra Matthies: bars. Um. Yeah, I haven’t really been to a wedding where that’s been the case. So Cash Bar explained to me, just to make sure I’m understanding, that’s where you’re like paying to add alcohol? Yeah, there’s

Christa Innis: just, yeah, they don’t, they probably don’t provide any drinks.

I’ve never been to a full cash bar either. Usually at least there’s or something. But yeah, it’s just like there’s no drinks provided. I would say, um,

Kendra Matthies: I would say that’s a little bit of a red flag if it’s fully a cash bar. Like if you’re not providing like any sort of refreshments, like that would kind of be a little bit alarming.

You have to have something for somebody to drink. Um, but if it’s cash bar. Just for, I guess that’s also a little bit hard though. Like my family doesn’t really drink, so it would be like, we had nothing at my wedding. So I don’t know. I, I think that that kind of just depends on the person. I think that if your family is somebody that you are people that you know are gonna drink, um, and you know that maybe you can’t provide that much.

I mean, maybe having like a set drink or something that is free or included with the wedding, and then maybe if there’s something like extra that somebody wants, like Right. I don’t know. Yeah, I would, I’ve just not been to something like that.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And I feel like if they’re, yeah, if they’re not providing anything, like no kind of refreshment, I’m talking like even non-alcoholic.

Yeah. So if they’re not providing anything and expecting nice people to come, then sure. That’s a little bit of a red flag If they expect everybody to like pay for food and drinks once they’re there. Right. But if it’s like, oh, we’re just talking like. Your aunt prefers like this really fancy vodka, then Yeah, I think it’s a red flag that, yeah, have them pay for it.

Kendra Matthies: I totally agree. That’s exactly what I think. Board.

Christa Innis: Right, right. Doesn’t need to be an open bar or anything. Um, okay, last one. Announcing a pregnancy at the wedding.

Kendra Matthies: Oof. To me girl, that’s gonna be a red flag. That is like, unless the only time I can ever see it be okay is one, it’s the couple announcing that they’re pregnant.

Like obviously, or if it’s been super well discussed and maybe the couple has asked for this to happen there otherwise.

Christa Innis: Die.

Kendra Matthies: That’s, yes. So I probably wouldn’t do that. Yeah, yeah. No, that’s, that’s crazy To me, that’s

Christa Innis: like one of those things I didn’t even know that was a thing until I started getting story submissions.

Yeah. And the amount of times where it’s like someone wants to announce someone else’s pregnancy at the wedding, like once where I read was like the, um, mother-in-law wanted to announce the younger brothers. His girlfriends. Oh, I think I saw

Kendra Matthies: your story about that. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah, that was one. And then there was another one like last year that was like kind of similar where the couple, well they asked the couple and the couple said no, and they mom Oh, then media red

Kendra Matthies: flag.

Yeah. Yeah. The mom

Christa Innis: was still bringing in like a, the, the box to like surprise everybody with, and then still did like a mini celebration of the table even after they said, no.

Kendra Matthies: That’s wild. To me. That is up, that’s up there with like, if somebody is getting married and they’re like, Hey, photographer, my husband and I just got engaged like this week.

Could you take some engagement photos at this person’s wedding? Yes. Like it’s that level to me where it’s just a common courtesy thing to like not do that. Mm-hmm. I mean, I wouldn’t, even if I was at somebody’s like. They just graduated college. We’re having this really fun party. I wouldn’t be like, Hey guys, by the way, like, make this about me.

Like there’s moments in life where it’s not about you. Yeah. I think that’s a big thing to remember is sometimes it’s not your turn. You know what I mean? Like Yeah. It’s this person’s turn, it’s their moment to shine. And unless they are super, like, please, I want you to

Christa Innis: just let them shine.

Kendra Matthies: It’s just, it’s just rude.

It’s just rude.

Christa Innis: Yeah. We don’t need to always turn it back to us. Right,

Kendra Matthies: right.

5AM Glam or Lipstick in the Car

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Okay. All right. I’m gonna do a couple of, would you rathers and then we’ll get into our story. Okay. These are like more like makeup kind of, um, focus. Okay. Would you rather start glam at 5:00 AM or be rushing to put lipstick on in the car?

Kendra Matthies: Oh, definitely start glam at 5:00 AM I don’t like feeling rushed. I hate it. It makes me so stressed and anxious and my luck. I’m gonna like, think that I’m putting it on good and then I get out and I’m looking like the joker. Like I just, no, I would rather start earlier.

Christa Innis: My gosh. Totally. I hate, like, I, I think I said this before, but like I, when I was in a lot of weddings, I always felt like they put me at the earliest slot.

’cause they’re like, oh, we know you wake up early. That was also Preki. Um, they’re like, we know you wake up early. So I’d be like in my chair, like half asleep. But I did like just being done and then I could just like hang out with everybody. Yeah. I didn’t have to rush or worry. Like, ’cause sometimes being some of the later ones, you’re like, are we gonna have time?

Or you’re like, oh, a

Kendra Matthies: hundred percent. Yeah. And for me too, like what I like to do personally to avoid that. And if you’re a makeup artist listening, I always, let’s say they tell me they need to be done by three, we’re gonna be done by two. Like I wanna give that little bit of wiggle room for touch-ups.

Maybe there was an emotional gift that somebody was given and like they completely like, like, I wanna have time for things. People get stuck in traffic, things happen. So always give yourself a little bit of extra time. And for any brides or somebody that’s getting married, that’s listening, just because when you are getting ready on the every day, it might take you an hour and a half to do hair and makeup.

Please know, wedding time is, its whole different. Thing like it is so different. You might be thinking, wow, my makeup artist wants to start at 7:00 AM We don’t have to be done till three. That’s crazy. And then when you’re getting done, you’re like, how has the day flown by? How have we, like where did that go?

That’s what I hear 99% of the time at weddings. It is just like, whoa. That day went by so fast. Like, ah. So always give yourself a little extra time that you think, I know it’s,

Christa Innis: you don’t think of like the random person popping in to say hello and like, yes, you step by or setting up food for your brides.

You know? You just don’t think those little things. You don’t think about it running to the bathroom, oh, I forgot this in my room. Like Exactly. There’s always something. So

Kendra Matthies: something. Yes. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Um, would you rather a bridesmaid hate her makeup or refuse the look and do her own?

Kendra Matthies: Um, would I rather bridesmaid hate their makeup or when you say refuse their look and do their own, like, they just are like, I don’t want you to do my makeup.

Don’t want,

Christa Innis: yeah.

Kendra Matthies: I’d rather them do their own. Like if they’re gonna hate it the way that I do it, you don’t need me to do it. Like, if you’re good at what you’re gonna do and you’re already happy with how you do your makeup, don’t feel like you have to get your makeup done. I don’t, I would rather that, because that just puts anxiety on everybody that day.

The person getting their makeup done is gonna go into it knowing that they’re gonna hate it probably. Or just I know my features better. I’ve never liked my makeup done by somebody else. They’re gonna go into it that way. The makeup artist is gonna be thinking of all the ways that they can try to make that not happen and make the person happy just for them to not be happy in the end.

Yeah. If you know you’re somebody that you just don’t like getting your makeup done by somebody else. Just do it yourself, even if you are the bride, the groom, whoever. Like just do it yourself. It doesn’t,

Christa Innis: yeah. I feel like if you’re like super picky, like you need to just do it yourself if you know what you’re doing.

Um, yeah, know yourself in those moments. ’cause like I’m, when I’m a bridesmaid, I love getting my makeup done. I like, I, I just trust the makeup artist. I’m like, you know what you’re doing. And, but I have friends that like, they’re just very particular and they’re just good at their own makeup and they do it.

And like about knowing yourself.

Kendra Matthies: Absolutely. For myself, like I did my own makeup on my wedding day and that was because I enjoy the process of putting makeup on. I enjoy like doing it myself. But if I were somebody that didn’t enjoy that and you’re like, man, every time I do my makeup, I hate it. Get somebody do your makeup for you.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Even if it’s like, I can’t afford a makeup artist. Maybe you have a really talented friend or something that does makeup really well, it’s okay to do that too. You don’t have to. But on the flip, don’t think like we’re saying that you have to have a makeup artist. If you’re like, I’m good at what I do.

It’s not a necessity. You don’t need a makeup artist to get married. You need a officiant, you need a venue, you need a wedding dress. Those are needs, this is wants and luxuries. You don’t have to have it.

Christa Innis: Right, totally. Um, would you rather one bridesmaid be 45 minutes late or one bridesmaid be overly controlling about the schedule?

Kendra Matthies: I would definitely have somebody that’s maybe a little bit more controlling about the schedule because. I’d rather have somebody that’s on me about the times and whatnot versus somebody who is just so nonchalant than I am anxious, everything’s running behind. I’m probably gonna get blamed for the fact that things are behind, even though I didn’t do anything wrong.

I’d rather have somebody way more on me about the time, because me personally like I am. So it might not seem it if you’re any of my clients watching this now, but in that moment, I mean, what I do, and this is a little tip too, for makeup artists, for weddings, like I set my schedule. Uh, as my lock screen for a wedding.

Okay. And I’m, every couple little bit, I’m clicking it to see, to make sure that I’m good and to somebody, it just looks like I’m checking the time, but I’m really like seeing how I’m doing on time. So shoot, if somebody wants to be the little voice in my head that’s already happening when I’m doing this, like, sure, I’d rather have that than somebody be late.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I love that because yeah, it’s like when bridesmaid be a little late, but they don’t always realize how much that could push back everybody else. Especially like, what if it’s a wedding where there’s only three or four bridesmaids than you’re kind of reshuffling everybody. But it’s good to, it’s good to have that schedule.

Like when I’m, when I’ve been hired for like Day of Coordinators, I’m like on it, I’m, I’m the same as you. I’m like checking. I’m like, okay, all right. Where’s our next bridesmaid? You’re on deck when she’s done, you’re swapping like,

Kendra Matthies: because again, it goes back to the whole thing. That wedding time is its own thing.

Like it is just so different than an everyday type of thing. You have to be so scheduled because yeah, one little thing can really throw off a whole day. And I’ve had it in the past where I had a bridesmaid be super late and it almost made it to where I couldn’t do the grandma’s makeup. Like the grandma would’ve just not had makeup.

I made it work. Yeah, bride not happy with me because of the delay, but I made it work because I’m not gonna let somebody’s grandma not have makeup. That’s crazy. That would make me sad. So, yeah. Um, but yeah, it’s so easy to throw off an entire day without even realizing it because 45 minutes, me, I block out an hour for makeup.

Um, but that’s including like cleaning in between time for me to like, you know, take a drink or whatever. So it’s really more 45 minutes. So if you think about it, if you’re 45 minutes late, you’re pushing the day, a whole appointment slot back, like that is a lot of time.

The Bounced Check Wedding Nightmare

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh yeah. All right. No, that’s a, that’s a great point.

All right. Let’s just get into today’s story because they always, you always end up being a little bit longer than I think. So let’s just get into it. Okay. Um, and feel free to stop me or pause anytime if you, likewise, we just back the note. As we go. All right. I was the Maître d’ for all types of events at a golf course and country club.

Every Sunday we hosted a flat priced buffet with no alcohol for gospel groups, prayer gathering. They danced, sing, and filled the room with joy. The staff loved watching and listening to them, and we never had a single issue. We genuinely looked forward to their visit. One of the young women from the group decided she wanted her wedding there on a Sunday afternoon with the group present.

Um, I walked her through everything, the theme menu, colors, ceremony, flow, flowers, readings, dances, bar options, extra servers, sleeping arrangements for the newlyweds, backup. Well, this is a lot. Um, backup plans for the bad weather and even contingency plans for family issues. Okay, they got it all. We had the, yeah, we had the space for six hours, including the ceremony.

For comparison, the gospel group typically use the room for only two to two, and then for only two to two and a half hours on the regular Sundays. So I’m thinking they wanted to rent, they wanted them to sing at her wedding is what I’m guessing some, yeah. It’s

Kendra Matthies: sounding like she wants ’em to be very involved with the day.

Yeah. She, because it says they want the guests present that are normally there on Sundays.

Christa Innis: Yes. Okay. Okay. So she wants them to be there. Okay. They were allowed joyful and energetic, but never obnoxious. Just a genuinely happy to be a live vibe. Yeah. The first deposit to hold the date and the the first deposit to hold the date and room was paid immediately with no issues.

Over the next four to five months, the bride and groom agreed to every recommendation we made. Used all our preferred vendors, and sometimes even brought me homemade baked goods. We clicked really well. The only request they made beyond my cake recommendation was an extra tier and specific symbol to honor their deceased parents and a sibling.

We upgraded the cake at no additional charge. That’s nice. Yeah. That’s really nice. Um, as the second deposit approach, they continued adding upgrades and RSVPs were higher than expected. We needed additional servers, more food, extra tables, and more rentals overall. They also decided to move the wedding up by three weeks to the earliest Sunday we had available.

Oh. Oh. How, I’m wondering how like, how late into the planning this was because Yeah, that’s a pretty big shift. Yeah. And like schedules adding people. Okay. Okay. She said that wasn’t an issue, but it did mean we couldn’t get the exact same linen colors in time and they needed to secure an available pastor.

We agreed to keep the second deposit due date the same as the original planned and not move it up. Two weeks before the wedding, I checked in again. Everything was fully planned and it was a lot. I heard nothing back three days before the wedding. I left messages for the couple and both mothers while also confirming flowers, linens, staff, transportation, and final details the following afternoon Friday.

So they didn’t, they still haven’t heard from them. Oh my gosh. That’s, I’m like,

Kendra Matthies: it’s okay. We are like crunch time and we’ve not heard anything. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

Christa Innis: I’m locked in. I know. I’m always like, what do you do at that point where you’re constantly like calling them, emailing them, nothing? Yeah. Oh my gosh.

The following afternoon Friday, the bride’s uncle arrived with a check covering the remaining balance. My boss wasn’t thrilled, but at that point we proceeded. Wasn’t thrilled that the uncle came or that they were like.

Kendra Matthies: Yeah. ’cause I mean that payment probably would be late, I would imagine. I feel like most things don’t take payments that close.

Christa Innis: Yeah, because we’re talking, she doesn’t say when the date was, but she’s saying all of a sudden before the wedding, they still hadn’t paid, they didn’t hear anything back.

Kendra Matthies: Well, then we’re at three days before the wedding. Yeah. So we’re like close. Close. So I can see where they’re stressed. Like you’re not talking to us and it’s not you that’s bringing in the final check.

It’s some random relative, like Yeah, you never called back. Were they involved? Yeah. Were they involved with this relative before? Is this person just showing up like Yeah, I’d probably be a little frustrated as well.

Christa Innis: And I’m wondering like for venues. If you don’t get that second deposit, I’m sure they have a right to either add an extra charge or Oh, yeah.

To cancel your event or something because they’re holding all, I mean, maybe they end up losing money then, but, ’cause I’m like, where’s like the, the stickler for you have to pay us this day, or Yeah. Something happens, we lose this. You can’t have this amenity or, you know, something like that.

Kendra Matthies: Okay. Okay.

Christa Innis: Um, the wedding began at noon just as their gospel gatherings always did.

The ceremony was beautiful. While photos were being taken, I showed the mother of the bride the reception room. So it’s weird. Everything’s just like going as normal even though they Yeah. We’re just like

Kendra Matthies: going forward. Even though nobody was confirming anything. Okay. Yeah. Alright.

Christa Innis: Immediately she began tearing it apart.

The mother of the bride tearing apart the reception room. The linen colors were wrong. The tables were too far from the windows where a large buffet had been set up overlooking the golf course. The dance floor was too large. Even though most guests danced at their tables, the cake was missing a tier and it was crooked.

Or she’s saying it wasn’t. These are all the things that the mother Earth bride was saying. Okay. And it was crooked. It wasn’t, the lighting was too dim and felt solemn. The servers were dressed too formally. One server hunched too much. She didn’t like my dress. She’s

Kendra Matthies: talking to the, your server has bad posture, okay?

I get being upset in certain things, and we’ll hear more of the story. I understand. Okay. You don’t, what if that person has a back issue? You dunno. Why are we going after the servers themselves? Like, that’s kind of crazy to me. It’s wild. That’s wild. Okay.

Christa Innis: Yes. You don’t know anything about this person. Yeah.

What in the world make that comment? Like, they’re doing their jobs, aren’t they? They’re, they’re like helping. Right. Like, oh my God. And then then to say she didn’t like her dress, the person doing it, she’s saying she didn’t like my dress. It clashed. So the person that sent in this email that runs these letters?

Yeah. Can you imagine? I’d be like, okay. Like, sorry. Right.

Kendra Matthies: That’s what I chose to wear. That’s wild. Okay. Bizarre.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. The flowers were too sparse. Uh, too sparse. She, there were too many ribbons. She was irate. I was completely dumbfounded. And that’s a problem too. Well, I mean it’s, there’s so many problems with this, right?

Thinking that she has some power coming in. It’s like she’s not the client. Yeah. But it weird that she, they just stopped hearing from the bride and groom and then the uncle just comes in.

Kendra Matthies: Right. And it’s weird to me too, that, I mean, weddings that I’ve been to my wedding, we very much discussed like what the layout was going to be, how things were gonna look.

And I know that they said, like, we did let them know that the linens wouldn’t be able to be the same because of whatever. So they were aware of that. Maybe this mom isn’t aware of the change. Okay. But also what, who are, who are you? Like, I get you’re the mom, but you’re also like not the deciding factor.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I feel like it was something where. The mom wasn’t as involved as she wanted to be or something.

Kendra Matthies: Yeah.

Christa Innis: And it sounds like, like the person that wrote this, I always say it’s a little biased ’cause she’s the one that sent it to us. Right. So I’m like hearing her perspective, but I’m like, sounds like she knows what she’s talking about.

She’s done all these weddings and events before. Right. So I’m sure they’re following the contract, following the plan. The mom’s, she’s like, I don’t like this. This is not what I envisioned. Or she’s embarrassed because she wants her family to see something different. Or I,

Kendra Matthies: that’s just so, it’s so silly to me too because let’s say all of these things are the genuine, like the bride comes in and ends up saying the exact same thing.

Where have you been? You haven’t like been communicating with us to like even know, maybe the original discussion was that there were gonna be this many ribbons, or maybe the discussion was that the flowers were gonna be how they’re gonna be if you’re not having. ’cause it’s sounding to me like the venue is providing most, if not all of the setup.

Mm-hmm. So it’s not like they’re having to coordinate multiple different vendors. It’s sounding like it is the venue that’s doing this. So how that communication between the couple and the venue itself got so lax. Mm-hmm. It is strange to me, like, yeah. Okay. I just, I need to

Christa Innis: hear more. I need to Very on.

Okay. It says she stormed off and I went back to business as usual. This was a $16,000 wedding. Absolutely. All out. That seems low to me, but I don’t know. I feel, oh yeah, I hear golf courses. At first I was like

Kendra Matthies: 16, but then I’m like, actually no, that’s like pretty low. Yeah. At least in this area. Michigan. I know.

I don’t know where this

Christa Innis: was, but yeah, I feel like golf course weddings, like when we were just kinda like, just kind of getting ideas. I feel like golf courses were like the most expensive ’cause it was like, oh yeah, resort vibes, everything included. And so I feel like those were like at least 50 if not way higher.

Kendra Matthies: Yeah, no, I agree. Yeah. I don’t know.

Christa Innis: Um, okay, so it said, um, intros finished first stance is done, speech is complete. Dinner music began, the buffet was destroyed, completely cleaned out. So it was destroyed in a good way. I think she means

Kendra Matthies: Okay. Like demolished the food. They ate it all. Yes. Okay. That’s what I’m gathering.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, shiny. Yeah. Um, shiny Cha-cha chafers chafer. Yeah. I’m like, okay, I was gonna pronounce that wrong. And all music continued, some dancing followed, and then the mother of the groom approached me. She said the food was awful. The servers were slow, people were spiking drinks at a dry wedding.

Apparently sneaking alcohol from another bar into the building. The dance floor was a slippery hazard. The linens were dry after people ate, or No? The linens were dirty after people ate. My gosh. It didn’t take a genius to see where this was headed. The hints for a massive discount started shortly after.

Oh, here we go. Oh

Kendra Matthies: no, they don’t wanna pay. They don’t want to pay. They don’t want to pay. Hopefully they’ve already cashed that check, girl. And it didn’t bounce like this.

Christa Innis: What it’s for, the Dirty Dan or the Dirty Linens thing reminded me. I saw this thing where an influencer was trying to do something or she was getting free, something free money.

She was at a restaurant and she filmed the floor and was like the place was dirty. And then the owners came out and they were like, she was there right after like a 12 party or a 12 person party just got up and left and she filmed right under the table. So it’s just all about like if you’ve never worked in a restaurant or,

Kendra Matthies: yeah.

That’s wild to me. The linens are dirty. I mean, aren’t they there to like. Get used and like to protect like the tables and to like look nice. Like, yeah. I mean, your wedding dress is gonna be dirty by the end of the night, by the, like the bottom of it. You know, you’re using the item.

Christa Innis: Yes. That’s wild. And again, saying servers were slow, that you’re gonna, you’re gonna complain about that.

Kendra Matthies: That’s wild to me. Okay. And clearly the food wasn’t that bad if everybody ate it all.

Christa Innis: Yep. Yep. That, oh my gosh. Then I heard screams, oh my god. Sure enough, the cake was on the floor. They claimed a server knocked it over while rushing for plates. She did not. And no, this was 2001. Okay, there we go. So it was 2001.

That’s price. So much has changed since then. So much. 16,000, 2001, I could get now.

Kendra Matthies: Okay, that makes sense. Yeah,

Christa Innis: she did not, and no, this was 2001, no cameras. Suddenly the older women erupted into crocodile tears, wailing and chanting praises. They cried that the souls wait, what? The souls of those honored on the cake had been desecrated.

So now they were not saying, now they’re saying because the server knocked it over. It was like an insult to the, the loved ones that were, the cake was for there.

Kendra Matthies: So let’s say that a server did knock it over. That is a. You are jumping over the Grand Canyon, my friend, to say that that is a disrespect on a deceased loved one.

Yeah. I can see somebody going up to the cake, taking whatever that symbolic thing was, chucking it at the wall. Like, okay, yeah, you’re being disrespectful to that. Mm-hmm. If something accidentally gets knocked over, my first thought would not be, oh, my family members, I can’t believe. Like, ah, like that, that is a accusatory stretch.

That is a big stretch. Wow. Wow, wow, wow.

Christa Innis: And by everything that we’ve learned so far, I’m like, they’re just looking for all of this to like add up. They’re, they’re thinking of all the dollar so that they can get back basically.

Kendra Matthies: Absolutely. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. She said the accusations went on and on. Eventually the night wound down, the room was left trashed, then came the demand.

They wanted their money back. Gosh. Oh no. That, uh, like even when I hear stories like this about like someone going into a restaurant, and you can tell from the beginning they complain about every little thing. I mean, I used to work in the restaurant industry, I stopped all the time. Yeah. You see it, right?

It’s like, you know, the second those people sit down, these are someone pe someone that’s gonna complain, they want a discount. And I was more than happy, like if something was wrong or if something, you know. Oh, for sure. Even a discount. I’ll take it off completely. Yeah. But you can tell right away when it’s someone that’s gonna complain about everything.

Even like, they’ll drink, like they’ll Dr. Pepper or, or Sprite and they’ll be like, something’s off in this. Something’s off. Yeah, okay, we’ll get it checked. Or it’s a brand new, you know, anything would be wrong. Right? So when it’s something like this, like a wedding, $16,000 and they’re gonna be like, we want our money back.

Kendra Matthies: No, and I, I can see it being, and maybe you’ve had this experience too, I can also kind of get the vibes of when I’m gonna have a client ask me for a refund. And it’s always, it always seems to be the ones that I am the most lenient with or the ones that I try to give like extra things to, to be nice that end up coming back and expecting more and then wanting a discount because of X, Y, and Z.

Reason I, yeah. So if they say you give an

Christa Innis: inch, they take a mile or something, those kind

Kendra Matthies: 1000%, that is definitely the case. So sounding like that is this case? Yeah. Okay. How does this end?

Christa Innis: Um, okay. It says that’s when we learned they had assumed they were paying the same rate. As the usual two hour Sunday buffet lunches, despite having a signed contract stating otherwise.

Why would you not look at that and just assume, like,

Kendra Matthies: and is it really that they assumed or they thought that because they were such a come every Sunday group that they could just talk their way into it and get that discount after the fact? Right. But you should never sign a con. I’m looking at my camera at this moment.

I know I’ve been looking all around. Right. Never sign a contract for an amount, assuming that it’s not going to be that amount. Yeah. That is

Christa Innis: crazy. To me, contract is a, it’s locking you in. It’s literally telling you what you owe when you pay it. Like yes. Wow. I, I don’t understand how you could assume like that’s just.

Um, I don’t wanna say ignorance, but that’s being, being extremely naive to be like, yeah, oh, okay. I, I’ll we come here every Sunday for a two hour of buffet. I’m like, that’s way different than a wedding.

‘I Know the Owner’ Energy

Kendra Matthies: That is way different from a wedding that you’re getting linens, you’re having people catering your food, you’re having florals, you’re having sounding like music maybe was even provided, like what they were listing all of the stay for the bride and groom for this case, like they did a lot.

So to me, for them to just expect that to be the same as a little buffet that they do every Sunday is insanity. Yeah. And it’s sounding very entitled to me. Like that’s the vibe that I get. Mm-hmm. That they just probably thought going into this. Like I said that, oh, well we come here every Sunday, we should be allowed.

It’s giving, well, I know the owner vibe. Yes. You know what I mean? Like that’s the vibe that it gives and it’s like. Okay, cool.

Christa Innis: You’re like, so do I.

Kendra Matthies: So do I. And this is still how much it is like, yeah.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. I’ve seen so many skits about that where someone’s like, well, I know the owner. And they’re like, okay, well get in line all these people.

Kendra Matthies: favorite thing when that would happen to me is they would be like, well, I know the owner, can’t you just gimme a discount? And I’d be like, I know my dad too. Like my dad owned the restaurant that I worked at, so that always killed me. I’d be like, yeah, same

Christa Innis: like, yeah. And I also like anyone that says that like wouldn’t, if you’re going to your friend’s restaurant or someone you knows, restaurant, wouldn’t you want to contribute to a small business or help them out?

And that’s

Kendra Matthies: the thing too. I have never been in a situation that I can think of that I’m ever going to a friend’s business or going to have a friend do anything for me that I am like asking for a discount or I’m expecting a discount. I mean. I had a friend do, she’s my hairstylist, do my hair for my wedding.

I still obviously like paid her. I still tipped her well, like just ’cause she’s done my hair forever and we’ve been friends for however long. Like that would be super weird of me to just like assume that that would be free or discounted or something. So, yeah. That’s the vibe I’m getting with this though, is that they assumed that,

Christa Innis: I’ve always noticed it’s the people you’re, that are more acquaintances or know you through people that do it.

Yeah. It’s never like a real friend. Yeah. ’cause I don’t, I don’t think I’ve said this on the podcast before, but like years ago, so like I do art like, well again, this was Preki. I haven’t done a lot of art in a while, but I used to do like charcoal art drawings and I’ve done a lot of stuff for weddings, like art-wise, like creating like trees with a thumbprint, whatever, all that stuff.

Yeah. Anyway, so years ago I was like a guest of a guest at a wedding. So like my friend’s old friend, like neighbor was, was getting married. She’s like, you guys should come with us. It was a very laid back wedding. More the merrier. Yeah. The week before, the bride was like, can you make me a guest book tree thing?

And I was like, so nice. Like, I’m like early twenties at the time. Like no boundaries. Just one people pleased and I’m like, normally I probably would’ve charged like a fair price. Probably would’ve been. A hundred to $200 because it takes, it takes a while. Yeah. But I was like, okay, maybe I’ll charge her a little bit less.

She goes, just don’t get me a gift. And I’m like, oh, okay. Like I already had a gift that I bought. Yeah. And I was like,

Kendra Matthies: okay.

Christa Innis: And then literally I started, learned my lesson, but then a like a year later I was like doing charcoal drawings for people and um, you know, people are, you know, paying whatever. She never paid me to this day.

It was like someone, she, like, I went there, I went and brought it to the house. Like a whole family charcoal drawing. It took Yeah. Hours. Hours. And I’m like, I broke, just recently Graduated college kid. Yeah. And um, she was like, oh, I don’t have cash on me. Like, just tell me what it is and I’ll like send you money later.

Never did. And I like, it’s so dumb now, but in my mind I’m like, that’s that kind of person that just expects a discount. Yeah. ’cause they know you somehow.

Kendra Matthies: Yeah. No, I will say like. I have been a bridal makeup artist for 10 years now, and it’s always the person who was randomly in my English class freshman year of high school that’s like, Hey, girl, I’m getting married.

Um, what are your rates? And me sending them, whoa. Well if you want my, uh, pricing guide, feel free to email my assistant. She’ll get that sent over to you. Oh my gosh, no girl. Like, you can just send them in here. Like, it’s fine, like Facebook Messenger. And I’m like, no, it’s easier for me to keep things, you know, compact.

And they’re like, oh, well, is there any way that I could get like a friend and family discount since we know each other and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. I’ve had that happen so many times, and I’m like, honestly, I don’t. I, I don’t know, like anything about you, like, yeah, how, how much friends are we do it. I was going through it when I was in high school, like my junior, my sophomore to end of junior year is when that first hip surgery stuff was happening.

And like they say that pain erases memory or whatever sometimes, and that’s why like I’ve heard, oh well people who have uh, kids might be UPT to have kids again, even if the first birth was like awful because they just like forget the pain or whatever. Which I don’t know how true that is, but I will say, yeah, like there are huge lapses of my memory from that time of my life where I probably.

Like if I saw you on the street, random person in my Facebook messenger thing, like I probably wouldn’t even know that was you. Mm-hmm. So why would you think that I would wanna give you a discount? Like that’s just wild to me. Well, they’re the same

Christa Innis: ML N people that want you to join their team. Girl that the truth.

Hey girl, from middle school, we never talked, but I’m during this, I started this new ml, it’s gonna save your life. And I’m like, yeah,

Kendra Matthies: well, and I get that all the time too. Maybe you do too. Now that you have a following is like online and everything is the amount of people who are like, you should do this because you already have the following.

You could easily make millions and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. And I’m like, I’m honestly like so good. Thanks though. Like I don’t, so good. Thank you. Like I, I’ve actually never been more Okay. Not doing that. Like, I don’t

Christa Innis: want to do that. Like, like more the reason to not do it. Thank you. Yeah. And

Kendra Matthies: the amount of people too, and maybe you’ve had this as well, that are like, could you use my song in the background of your video?

And they’re like a random person from freshman year of high school that has like a SoundCloud or whatever it’s called. I’ve

Christa Innis: not had that. That’s what I get,

Kendra Matthies: that I get people, oh, can I collab with you? I need to get more views on my stuff because I do X, Y, and Z. And it’s like a random person I haven’t talked to since I was in like, like I was 13.

Like, I’m like, no, I don’t know you anymore. Like you are just because you knew me at a blip of my life, you do not just have access to me 24 7. Like, that’s just, that’s wild to me. Yeah. Anyways, I tangented a little bit, but No,

Christa Innis: we bolted because I feel like it’s such, it’s such a common thing. Like, so when we read something like this, I’m like, oh.

I know that person, if you’re listening, don’t do that. Yeah. Don’t do that to people. Always offer to pay full price for friends. Yeah. Family. And then if later they wanna come back and be like, you know what? I wanna throw in this for free because you’re my friend then. Awesome. Yeah. But

Kendra Matthies: yeah, I mean, for me, and they probably don’t even know I do this, but like my dad’s employees, I give them my friend and family discount because they work for my dad.

They probably don’t even know that I do that, but it’s something that I add on. But if, but it to me, if it was like a new employee of my dad and they’re like, can I get a discount? I’d probably be a little bit more like, like what? That’s odd. Like, don’t do that. Like, don’t expect things, I guess is what I, what we’re trying to say I feel.

Yeah.

Christa Innis: Ab, absolutely. So she says, um, so it ends with saying, so says, despite having signed the contract, stating otherwise mm-hmm. No one tipped some servers were even in tears. Others finally snap back verbally. And at one point we, and at that point we allowed it. So I’m wondering if this is all just happening right there, because I’m wondering why the servers were involved in that.

Because I would kinda be like, servers go home and then maybe the next week we’re, they’re like trying to demand money. But I don’t know if this is, this sounds like later on in that night it’s

Kendra Matthies: happening. Like in the night you’re like, which I will say, and this is maybe a controversial thing, but I don’t ever expect a tip.

And I know that in some different things it’s a little bit more com. Like it’s common to do it. Like I probably always would tip a server. Mm-hmm. But if I were, you know, a venue or whatever, you should always have your pricing be to the point where if something like this happens and nobody’s getting tipped, your server isn’t in tears because they didn’t feel like they made enough money, it should still be like mm-hmm.

The base rate should still be good.

Christa Innis: I agree with you.

Kendra Matthies: To me, and this is how, and it’s different. I will say if you’re going out to eat, totally different, totally different. Because I know that minimum wage is like $2 or something, and you’re living off of your tips in that. Like you’re supplementing with your tips in that way.

I would imagine, and maybe it’s wrong and if it is, please correct us. I don’t know. But I would imagine that when you’re working as a server for an event like this, you’re probably getting more of like an hourly base rate that’s like less than or more than the $2 minimum wage, because this is more of like an event.

So yeah, I would imagine that that should be more. Common.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And I, I can’t speak obviously for all events, but I used my, my job in college, I worked at a hotel and I worked in the bar and like I was a cocktail server, but we obviously hosted events and so there were banquet servers and from my memory, they made like $11 an hour, like they were serving at weddings and stuff.

Whereas our actual like restaurant servers were making like five, six. Yeah. They were more inclined to get tipped. So as far as I remember, in banquets you don’t typically get tipped as a server. Yeah. Maybe bartenders will get like cash. Yeah. I can

Kendra Matthies: see, I can see bartenders, but even, yeah, me thinking of any time I’ve attended a wedding, I don’t think that I’ve ever like tipped the person that’s bringing me the plated meal.

Right. Or serving the buffet. I can’t, I don’t like think that. So to play devil as advocate on that one little, little speck, I will say. Yeah. I do think that the tipping thing. That’s, yeah, not, that’s not something that you should just expect. Like even me as a makeup artist, I get probably like 75% of my client’s tip, but it really doesn’t bother me either way because I make sure that my pricing is to where I feel like I’m comfortable after expenses or whatever, that I made money.

I don’t, you shouldn’t be relying on your tips, I guess is what I’m saying, right. For this type of a job Servers. Yeah. In the real everyday you’re working at like Bob Evans or something. I understand. Tip your servers and stuff. Yeah. I just, yes, please tip your normal servers. But I don’t know if that’s common practice for Yeah.

Christa Innis: It makes me wonder if they didn’t typically do this kind of thing. Yeah, that’s good. Yeah, but they sound

Kendra Matthies: so, they sound so like prepared for it though. Yeah. I don’t know. Yeah. Anyways, so little tidbit. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Interesting. They didn’t get tipped and they’re crying, so, and then it says, others finally snap back verbally and they allowed it.

So that seems kind of weird to me too, to allow the servers to snap at the customer.

Kendra Matthies: I understand when tensions are really high and situations are really heated to get caught in the heat of the moment. But as a, whether you’re the manager, whether you are the owner, whatever it is, your responsibility to make your uh, employees, Hey guys, take a step back.

I’m gonna handle it. You have to be the one to handle the situation. You can’t because all that’s gonna do is crave more and more heat. And more heat. More heat, and that’s, everybody’s just gonna be mad. So yeah. Allowing your employees to be. Even in a position where they’re feeling like they need to go back and forth like that, like once you start to notice that the heat is coming on a little bit, Hey guys, take a step back.

Hey, how can I help you? What’s, what’s the problem? You shouldn’t put your employee in that position because I know that weddings that I’ve been to a lot of the times, the servers, they are like in their late teens, early twenties. That’s a lot to put on someone young. Like that’s a lot. Yeah. So I feel like that’s another thing I would interject in is in this situation it would’ve maybe been beneficial.

I know we don’t know how this ends yet, but to have the employees kind of step aside and you handle it one person, because if you’re yelling at a bunch of different people, nobody’s getting their point across. Nobody’s listening.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. And it sounds like at this point, the, the tips, at least of their concerns, they might not even wanna pay for anything else.

Yeah. Um, so it says, come Monday the check bounced. So no, they didn’t cash the check. I’m wonder, oh, it makes me wonder, oh wait, there’s another paragraph, so lemme read it first. Okay. Says their head pastor called to inform us they would not be paying. He warned that if we pursued the matter, the congregation would countersue, claiming we intentionally sabotaged a young, naive, God-fearing couple’s wedding under the guise of miscommunication, even though they signed a contract

Kendra Matthies: that is, whoa.

Okay. Sorry.

Christa Innis: Oh, she says when it was actually reckless discrimination and somehow they won.

Kendra Matthies: Wait, there was a lawsuit and they won.

Christa Innis: It sounds like either She doesn’t say there was definitely a lawsuit. She just says he warned that if we pursued it, they would countersue and then just ends with. They won.

So I’m wondering if there was, they did sue them. ’cause they were like, we, we didn’t get paid.

Kendra Matthies: Whoa. First off, how any judge is letting that win over a signed contract is bonkers to me. Mm-hmm. Um, okay. I need to get into my business owner mind for a second here. Yeah. Why, why allowing. Okay. Thinking that it’s 2001.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. We’re talking 25 years ago. Yeah. I feel old. I see 2001. I’m like, oh, it was like 10 years ago. 25 years ago. I’m like,

Kendra Matthies: I was, I was, I’m 28 so I was like, three what? Right. Two or three, like, um, okay. Wow. Anyways, but like I know things have updated, things have changed a lot in those 25 years, but I. I think that it’s a little bit crazy to accept just a check from a random person and not try to immediately cash it.

I get that. Maybe it was, they said it was three days before, so if it’s a Monday, it would’ve been a Friday. Okay, but

Christa Innis: you think they waited till the banks were closed so they couldn’t cash it? Maybe,

Kendra Matthies: but at that point, I’m sorry, I’m, I’m needing a cashier’s check. I’m needing like a money order or something.

Like I need it to be more obvious that the funds are there, especially if communication has been so lax where I haven’t even gotten to talk to my client in weeks. Yeah, that’s, that’s wild to me. What I would say nowadays, me personally, if I’m accepting a check from a client, it has to be like a cashier’s check or something like that.

Like I am not accepting just a check because. It has the potential to bounce. Mm-hmm. And you are still, especially in this situation when there’s so much involved makeup, obviously that sucks for me. Maybe I was looking, maybe I just replenished a lot in my kit and this was money that I thought was coming that I’m going to be able to balance things out again.

But venues, especially what it’s sounding like this one provides, you still have to pay people. Like you still have Yeah. Things that have to be paid for. And now that that’s bounced, like whoa.

Christa Innis: And I’m wondering how much that first deposit was for Like, usually I feel like when I got married it was like the first check was like 25%.

Yeah. Then it was like 50 ma. I don’t know. So I like, it does like little increments. Yeah. So I’m like, that’s not gonna cover their food or No. Like they ate all the food. That’s right. And they’re gonna like live with themselves. Knowing that they, they scam these people. Yeah. The, the, I should make it clear the people getting married, the families getting married.

Right, right. Scam the venue because they knew what they were doing. Because no one signs a contract thinking it’s gonna be, oh, we do a two hour buffet here. It’s the same as a wedding. Hey, do this, this, this, this, this, this, and this. For us, it’s gonna be the same.

Kendra Matthies: I guess I’m also confused who signed this contract?

Was it the bride and groom? Was it who signed this? Because why does the head pastor at their church get to be involved in this lawsuit at all?

Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s a great point. Why is he a part of this discussion?

Kendra Matthies: Yeah, that doesn’t matter. Like, that’s him

Christa Innis: being like the, using like the god like hierarchy of like, oh, you use this, this very religious family, and you’re, you’re making them look bad, so don’t you do dare do that.

So it’s almost like him being like, I’m a pastor. Let me. Say it so they, which

Kendra Matthies: why is a pastor doing that? Yeah. You’re

Christa Innis: not a part of the family. You didn’t pay didn’t, you’re

Kendra Matthies: not in the contract. Didn’t pay. Yeah. That’s so weird to me. And if this did go to court and they were able to, like, again, how did a judge, why is that being allowed?

Why is the, why is the pastor of a church that they go to get, to be the deciding say of whether a contract between somebody and a venue was a scam or not?

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Kendra Matthies: That’s just,

Christa Innis: wow. Yeah. So I kind of wonder if, like, if we read it the other way, if she’s just saying they won, basically, like we didn’t, we just went along with it.

We didn’t like try to sue them or like take any step further because he scared us basically. Then I could see that too.

Kendra Matthies: I can see that, but also like as a business, you’re

Christa Innis: out,

Kendra Matthies: you, you have a contract for a reason and if you’re not gonna stick with your policies and your contract and the things that are in there, what’s the point of having I have it.

Yeah. Yeah. And don’t get me wrong, there’s been instances in the past for me where I have made exceptions to something that’s in the contract, but it’s normally because I’m trying to be accommodating of somebody. I will say that’s tightened up a lot because of situations like this where I’ve give an inch and they take a mile.

But I just, I just don’t see how that hap like, so much went wrong with this. Yeah. And so much that I think that this business, and I hope that if they’re still around, that they learn from this, um. I mean, communication needs to be better. Their, what happens if you stop communicating with me needs to be better.

Their payment processes hopefully are better and hopefully they have more solid contracts or confidence in their contracts that should something like this happen again, it’s worth fighting for because wow, that was a lot.

Christa Innis: When people complain about like rules and stuff, it’s, it’s because of people like this.

This is why contracts have to be as as they are, is because there’s people that take advantage and now they have to be super clear. You have to cover every single instance because of people like this. Yeah. ’cause they don’t try to scam the crap outta you.

Kendra Matthies: If you are somebody that is getting married or you are going to be entering into a contract for whatever reason, read what you’re signing, please don’t just blindly sign and then claim ignorance, because nowadays I just cannot see if this went to court nowadays that that would’ve held up at all for the client’s favor.

Like I could not see that happening. No way. Um, so be mindful of what you’re signing and on the flip vendors or whoever is sending out the contracts, make sure that you feel confident in the things that are in your contract, that you feel that you could back those things up. Consult with an attorney.

Don’t just write something down and have somebody sign it. Make sure it is like a legal contract. Um, yeah, because this type of stuff happens and. Me personally as a random big sister business owner. Advice to you too. If you’re a makeup artist or a hairstylist or somebody that, let’s say you have a season that you go through and now here’s the next one.

Revisit that contract at the end of the season. What happened in that year that you don’t want to happen again? Mm-hmm. Put it into your contract so that it doesn’t happen again and go forward. You might have, like you are saying, you might have people be like, why is this so long? Or Why does this even need to be specified?

You don’t have to explain yourself to those clients, but you can say, if you want to say anything at all, while everything that’s in the contract is there for a reason. Mm-hmm. Um, yeah. You have to protect yourself as a business owner and as a consumer. Signing contracts. Protect yourself too. If you don’t know what a contract is saying.

If you don’t know the legal mumbo jumbo. You don’t have to, nobody is forcing you to sign anything. Yes. You can consult with somebody if you need help before signing anything, even if it’s just asking the business to clarify what this means, because Yeah, don’t sign into something that you don’t know.

Yeah. Because either one of you, it could come back and bite you.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And and most, most places now, like you said, are not gonna be like, oh, you didn’t read it. Mm. They’re gonna be like, too bad you signed this. Yeah. So,

Kendra Matthies: yeah. I mean, I’ve had to do that multiple times where we’ve had to send screenshots or we’ve copied the portion of the contract that applies to X, Y, or Z situation and send it to that client and say, well then the contract that you signed, this is what it says.

And you have to leave with confidence with that. You have to say, well, this is what you signed, and they can come back and counter, but. This is what you signed. Yeah.

Christa Innis: It makes me think too, kind of like looking back at the beginning that there were so many different parties involved and I think this is why a lot of places too are like, we only work with the bride and groom, or we only work with a couple getting married because I feel like they probably, the young girl comes in from the group, she’s really excited.

They’re like, yep, this sounds great. She’s the one that talks with them. They signed the contract, she probably pays the first deposit. Sounds like, yeah. It says the bride and groom agree. They pay everything. No issues. Then other people are getting involved, but maybe the moms start seeing it and they’re like, yeah, whoa.

How are we gonna pay for this? Um, ’cause that’s, I think that’s why there was that radio silence, right? They’re like starting to worry about the cost. Then this random uncle comes in. Yeah. And either he was planning on paying for it the whole time, or he goes, wait guys, I’ve got an idea. You know what I’m saying?

Like, was this a plan the whole time? Part of me thinks yes. He’s like, I’m gonna come in. They’re not gonna ask me questions, so they don’t know me. I don’t know about the wedding. Bring this check in. Oh, it’s covered. We’re good. We’re gonna get our wedding. And then you guys come in hot and right. Want.

Kendra Matthies: Yeah, because

Christa Innis: there’s people that do this like for a living.

Kendra Matthies: Oh yeah. I mean, like I said, my dad owns a restaurant. There’s people that we have on the do not let reorder list because they’ve had multiple, and multiple and multiple times where they call back and complain that something is wrong. And to the point where we would like red label them maybe like, Hey, if they call, make sure that you are so precise and confident that everything going into this order is exactly right.

And they would still call back and say, X, Y, or Z happened. For example, and this is talking on my dad’s half for a little bit, but he had a customer that would constantly complain about something being wrong with the pizza. The toppings weren’t right. The, my dad owns a pizza place. The toppings weren’t right.

The cheese had slid to the side by the time that the delivery driver got it there, um, it was burn, it was too cold, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So finally my dad was working one day and it was just him and the delivery driver, and he makes the pizza. He knows that this person is a chronic complainer. Mm-hmm.

So he is on it. Yeah, just him in the building delivery driver. Nobody else makes the pizza, sends it on its way. Of course, like five minutes later, 10 minutes later, he gets a call from that person and they’re complaining, well, what’s wrong? There is a massive blonde hair in my pizza. My dad said there’s a long blonde hair.

Okay. Um, are you sure it’s not yours? No, it can’t be mine. Everybody in my family has brown hair. Okay. Um, if I send the delivery driver back, would you give him the pizza and the hair that is in that so that we can figure out where this is coming from? Oh, well, um, I mean we already ate it. We ate around it, but like, this is ridiculous.

And my dad goes, you know what’s also really funny, the delivery driver and I are both bald and nobody else is working today. So they stopped ordering after that. But it’s just so funny. And come to find out, I mean, I did a little bit of Facebook stalking their family’s all blonde. Like, what are you talking about?

That family had blonde hair, like. So it’s just funny, but yeah, it does happen like all the time and in so many different industries that people will just try to get away with scamming you and mm-hmm. You have to protect yourself as a business owner. Like you just, ugh. Yeah. I feel bad for when things like this happen though.

I will say, like we were saying throughout this, there were definitely learning moments from this. Mm-hmm. Um, you know, management wise or whatever, and policy wise, but I think that maybe it, from the sounds of it, maybe this was kind of a newer thing for them and they just didn’t have those policies or whatever in place yet.

Yeah. I think that this is us seeing what kind of happens to a lot of professionals where you have something like this happen, which. Builds those standards and things like that for it to not happen again. So I think we might have seen the beginning of this golf courses event planning. They’ve been real

Christa Innis: strict now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which sucks. You have to learn that way. Losing $16,000 and then some. Yeah. ’cause they said they kept adding on all these extras so. Hopefully this was a learning That’s so awful moment for them. But think about the, the couple that got married. Your, your wedding was built on a lie.

Kendra Matthies: A lie.

That’s really wild. And like bad juju. Like why would you want that? Yeah. I’m curious to know, are they still married?

Christa Innis: I know, I was, I was thinking that too. I’m like, I could not, like your kids are, or your kids or family one day is asking about your wedding and you’re like, oh yeah, it was at this place. Do you think they like, lie about it?

Like, oh, it was amazing. Yeah, they loved it. Oh, it was ter you know, like, ’cause if it had all the things they wanted, I don’t know. And they never specified either if it was the bride and groom refusing to pay, or if it was the moms coming in right saying they’re not gonna pay. Um, so it makes me wonder maybe it was like a fake account or like a the Yeah.

Opened up a new account and was like, okay, we’re gonna write a check. Huh. So many questions. It’s, I love, love getting

Kendra Matthies: vendor

Christa Innis: stories, but I also like am like, oh, I don’t like there, there’s so much missing. Right? I

Kendra Matthies: wish I could call them and be like, okay, wait, so yeah, what happened?

Christa Innis: I know. Oh my gosh. That was wild.

That

Kendra Matthies: was real.

Wedding Confessions & Regrets

Christa Innis: Well, I always like to end these with, as I shake my whole computer right now. I was like to end these with confessions people send me on Instagram. So here we go. This is about biggest wedding regrets.

Kendra Matthies: Ooh,

Christa Innis: that’s a good one.

Kendra Matthies: Okay.

Christa Innis: Yeah. This one says, um, letting my friend declare herself my maid of honor.

It shouldn’t have been her. I, I hear that a lot and I always wonder how that happens. ’cause if that was a friend to like someone to me saying like, oh, I’m your maid of honor, and they weren’t, I would, I would probably just laugh and just move on. How do they themselves?

Kendra Matthies: I definitely have heard this a lot from my clients that, oh yeah, this person kind of made themself my maid of honor.

Like I was gonna ask them to be a bridesmaid, but I really wanted this person to be my maid of honor. I think what happens a lot of the time is you get people pleaser brides that don’t want to offend anybody. This person probably means a lot to them. Maybe just not in the, I think they should be made of honor way, but I think that it’s hard when they’re trying to make sure that everybody’s happy.

They don’t want to start wedding drama. Especially when it comes to bridesmaids, like you’re usually picking that out pretty early in the wedding planning process. Like, yeah, who wants to start that drama? But I will say, if you are somebody that recently got engaged or you’re just announcing bridal party members and somebody’s trying to assert that, I think that.

It’s really important and in the long run better to just be clear right away. And I know that a lot of people like to do those bridesmaids boxes or things like that where they’re asking people, um, definitely make sure that you give yourself time between announcing the engagement and, and picking your bridesmaids that you kind of like have everything so you can quickly do that so that this doesn’t happen.

Yeah. ’cause I think that it’s when there’s that gap that people can just assume and then push their way into it. Um mm-hmm. Yeah. I think it’s important. Like if you’re announcing that you’re engaged, maybe within a week or two you’re asking people, and maybe that’s a big turnaround. I don’t know. It’s a little bit hard if you don’t know the engagement’s coming, but Right.

I do think like it’s important to have a list and roster in the back of your mind. If you’re knowing within a year I’m probably gonna be getting engaged to like you, you or I’m gonna be getting engaged, like you should probably have somewhat of a roster. See? Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Because even if you don’t have like the bridesmaid boxes ready or whatever you’re gonna do, you can at least be like, oh, you know, I actually, my sister or my friend over here, or Yeah, whatever.

Yeah. It’s just gonna, is being that person.

Kendra Matthies: And it might be awkward, like it probably will be awkward, those conversations, but I’d rather you have a conversation early on and it be a little bit awkward than to be submitting that you regret it to us. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yes. Because then you’re giving in and then you’re making it their day.

Yeah. Not completely, I get that. But like you’re still like. They’re gonna have their way with whatever. Oh, gonna be these bride. Like what does it, what, where does it end? Right? We’re gonna have these bridesmaid dresses. ’cause I like these best for my body. Right? Well wait, you’re, you weren’t even supposed to be the maid of honor and then you’re gonna have this resentment, I feel like.

Kendra Matthies: Exactly. No, I 1000% agree.

Christa Innis: Um, let’s see, this says letting my mother-in-law add over 40 guests to the list, which meant cutting down our friends list.

Kendra Matthies: Ooh. So I personally told like family members, like they were allowed X amount of people that they could invite. But I also made it clear, like I still wanted it to be people that were like in my life.

Like I wouldn’t want my mom to invite like a random person from our church that knew me when I was three. Like, that would be kind of odd. Um. I definitely think you have to kind of go into things like that, like that, where you’re giving like a, Hey, so so-and-so’s gonna have this many people, I’m gonna have this many people, his family’s gonna have this many people.

You guys can have this many people. And that’s how we’re reaching capacity. Like I think that you have to be very clear with those things from the get go.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. Especially if it seems like someone that everybody’s their best friend or everyone’s their friend. Right. Just give like a little limit. Be like, okay, you can tell me 20 people.

Right? Yeah. And then if they give you 20 and they’re like, Hey, I also wanna invite so and so, then sure you can give wiggle room. But when you give a free reign, that’s scary territory.

Kendra Matthies: Yeah. And even with wiggle room, you have to be clear though too. Like if somebody’s like, oh my gosh, I know I gave you 20 people, but like so and so has to be there.

I just totally blanked and forgot. You could be like, okay, yeah, maybe we could squeeze that one more person in, but like we’re really done after that. Like you can’t be like, okay, yeah, I guess this is not another person. Like, ’cause the more you’re lax again, give an inch, take a mile type of thing is gonna happen.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. 100%.

Kendra Matthies: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Um, okay, let’s do a one more.

This one says, I regret not eloping. Should have saved the money and skipped the drama.

Kendra Matthies: Okay. I have heard this so much, like a lot, a lot. I’m talking even on wedding days, I hear this like, oh yeah, because sometimes the lead up drama is the worst part. Like the scheduling of the bachelorette or the bridal shower was maybe awful.

Like people, sometimes by the time it gets to their wedding day, they’re like, I don’t even wanna do this. Like I, and it’s not that they don’t wanna get married, it’s just people they don’t wanna have to put on the performance and. All of it. So I have definitely heard that a lot. I would say that if you’re somebody that you and your significant other, you don’t really necessarily want a big wedding, you don’t necessarily see even a wedding as like a big thing to you.

And maybe financially it’s not the best option for you. It is never worth it to put yourself in debt to have a wedding. That is wild to me. I have had brides tell me that they have taken out loans for their wedding. Mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: Couldn’t

Kendra Matthies: be me. Couldn’t be

Christa Innis: me. It’s consumerish, consumerism, and wedding culture altogether of like, you need the biggest, best wedding to post all of our social media and have this grand day.

And it’s like. Yes, weddings are beautiful and amazing, but at the end of the day, it is a day, right? And you do not wanna go into your marriage broke or, um, owing a bunch of money or having debt. That is, I feel like that is just like a, such a hard thing to go into a marriage with.

Kendra Matthies: And I think that people kind of have created this almost stigma of, it’s like a bad thing to elope.

It doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Some of the most beautiful weddings have been elopements. One of my friends, her name you guys might follow her online, is um, Mermeg Hair. Her and her husband got eloped, and I wanna say they were out in like some like desert, sorry, Meg if you’re watching, but they were in some sort of like desert, like beautiful thing.

And what they prioritized was the photography, and that was where the majority of their budget went. And oh, my word, talk about magazine wedding. Like some of the most stunning wedding photos I’ve seen of my life. And it was an elopement. Like it doesn’t have to be like, oh, I’m giving up these beautiful photos.

Oh, I’m giving up. I can get great makeup done. You can invest now in the things that do matter to you more. Like maybe you really, really want good photos, but you don’t care if it’s just four of you there. Like, you can invest in those things now because you’re not spending. $50,000 on a wedding.

Christa Innis: Right. I think it’s one of those things too about like knowing yourself, knowing your family.

If there’s high tensions and you’re like, gosh, our families clash, or gosh, like my friends are just don’t get along with so and so, you know, whatever that is, and you’re already stress thinking about it, maybe that’s a sign. Yeah. Everyone knows themselves best. Like, I, like for me, I did not want a huge wedding, but I also could not, I could only picture like all of our families and friends together dancing and like hanging out in like one big party.

Um, so it wasn’t like humongous, but it wasn’t really small either, but. For me, that was important to me and my husband, but we didn’t have drama leading up to it that we were like, oh, I’m so nervous about people being in the same room. But I know a lot of the times when they regret, I feel like it’s because they’re getting pressure from someone saying, you need to have this wedding.

We need to have this big wedding to show off to everybody. But meanwhile, the bride and groom are the ones like suffering because they’re like, this isn’t right us. This isn’t what we want.

Kendra Matthies: Right. So you have to be mindful. It’s okay to get people’s opinions, especially when it’s from people that you really do value.

Like maybe your parents are very important and big in your life. It’s I, it is okay to take those opinions, but at the end of the day, if that is not what you want, who’s the one going in debt because of these things? Who’s the one that’s living with the fact that, oh, my wedding was so stressful and so dramatic, and da, da da, da da.

It’s not your parents. It’s you, so you have to be mindful of yourself when it comes to wedding planning and just like weddings in general, because ideally, I mean, I know it doesn’t happen all the time. This is a once in a lifetime thing for you. I know people get remarried. I’m not saying that, but I’m saying what you are.

Nobody’s going into a wedding hoping that they’re gonna get married again. You are hoping that this is a once in a lifetime thing. Do you want to be like the thing that’s behind that is stress? Mm-hmm. No, I don’t think that anybody wants that. So yeah, I think that taking opinions and valuing people’s input is important, but never to the point where it’s diminishing your own wants or finances, I guess, even in this case.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yeah, absolutely. Definitely listen to your gut on that one and be on the same page with your partner and then yeah, move forward from there. Well, thank you so much for coming on. Yeah. Like I’m just realizing the time. I’m like, so sorry I took so much of your time. No,

Kendra Matthies: I can’t see the time, so I’m just here to Yap.

Yeah, no, this is, I’m a certified yapper. I love it. I love

Christa Innis: No, I remember you saying that last time. I love it. ’cause I, I, I get in that tendency of like just yapping too. And so like, I love when we’re on the same page as that. So can you, for everyone listening, can you tell them where they can follow you?

Anything fun you’re working on and all that good stuff? Yeah,

Kendra Matthies: so you can follow me on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, um, tiktoks gonna be my biggest one, but it’s at Kendra Matthies, everywhere else, it’s just at Kendra Matthies. Um, I’m currently working on, uh, depending on when this is getting posted, I’m gonna be in Premier Anaheim, uh, Anaheim, California.

Uh, February 1st and second, I’m gonna be teaching multiple classes there. Otherwise, I have some other classes that I’m teaching. Come April, I’m gonna be in Chicago again for America’s beauty show, and then I am working on some. Independent classes. Oh, you guys heard it first, but I am working on some independent classes, um, coming up in this year, so stay tuned for those.

But you can always just follow me on Instagram for the latest updates on that.

Christa Innis: Awesome. Very exciting. Sounds like a lot of fun things are coming up. Yes.

Kendra Matthies: So much fun.

Christa Innis: Awesome. Well, thanks again for coming on. This was so much fun hanging out.

Kendra Matthies: Yeah, it was great seeing you again. Congratulations on having a podcast still rocking and rolling.

I think I heard somewhere that most podcasts don’t make it past the first five or six episodes, so Wow. That’s good. Look at you going, you’re rocking and rolling and I can’t wait to see what comes for you with the podcast. I love watching your skits and everything online and yeah, I think that you’re doing a great job.

Thanks. Thank you. Yes. All right. Well thank you guys so much for watching. Thank you. And I will probably see you guys in a story time coming soon, because I told Christa I didn’t wanna share it here, but I think I’m gonna build up the courage to share it soon. Yay. Yes. Yay.

by Christa Innis

Rules of Engagement, Hot Takes, and A Sister Rivalry with Lucette Brown

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

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Ever been caught in sibling competition over life milestones?

In this episode, Christa Innis and Lucette Brown dive into one listener’s wild tale of wedding conflicts. They cover topics such as handling toxic relationships, sibling rivalry, and balancing personal happiness with family expectations. The episode also includes unpopular opinions on wedding traditions, a humorous take on wedding speeches gone wrong, and the pressures of planning events. The episode ends with a rapid-fire Q&A about event planning and a heartfelt discussion on maintaining supportive family relationships.

Join Christa and Lucette Brown as they unpack jealousy, toxicity, and the importance of support in family dynamics—plus, discover how to survive wedding chaos without losing your sanity.

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Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

01:51 Weather Talk: Melbourne vs. Midwest USA

04:07 Life in Chicago

04:59 Lucette’s Career Journey

06:51 Balancing Motherhood and Career

10:30 Unpopular Opinions: Relationships and Weddings

23:27 Event Planning Rapid Fire

33:40 Accidental Committee President

35:00 Mom Life and Time Management

37:14 Wedding Story Submission

41:23 Sister Rivalry and Wedding Drama

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

Engagement Jealousy – Listener feels overlooked as her sister gets proposed to first despite being “less established.”
Diamond Drama – Comparison of a real diamond versus an Etsy ring sparks tension and hurt feelings.
Dress Appointment Feuds – Fat-phobic comments create conflict between sisters during bridesmaid dress shopping.
Wedding Route Differences – One sister chooses Vegas elopement while the other plans a traditional wedding, escalating rivalry.
Maid of Honor Dispute – Listener isn’t chosen as sister’s maid of honor, highlighting boundary and favoritism issues.
Family Dynamics & Toxicity – Pent-up anger and competition reveal deeper familial struggles.
Lesson in Support – Christa and Lucette discuss the importance of healthy boundaries and emotional support.
Wedding Speech Nightmares – Confessions of inappropriate, cringe-worthy wedding speeches illustrate common wedding missteps.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“Everyone has different boxes to check, don’t compare your journey to theirs.” – Lucette Brown
“Your feelings are always valid, but toxicity isn’t excusable just because it’s family.” – Lucette Brown
“Let them be, sometimes you can’t force people into your bubble.” – Lucette Brown
“If you’re unhappy with someone, either hash it out or step back.” – Lucette Brown
“Just because someone’s your sister doesn’t mean they get a free pass to hurt you.” – Lucette Brown
“If they can’t handle celebrating each other, just be guests at the wedding.” – Christa Innis
“Pent-up anger doesn’t mix well with a bridal party; it’s a recipe for disaster.” – Christa Innis
“It’s not about the diamond or the dress, it’s about who makes you feel supported.” – Christa Innis
“Don’t hold resentment on your wedding day. Life’s too short for that.” – Christa Innis
“Sometimes, cutting ties temporarily is the healthiest choice for both sides.” – Christa Innis
“Not inviting toxic family members is self-care, not drama.” – Christa Innis

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

About Lucette

Lucette Brown is a marketing professional with over 15 years of experience in the industry, focusing on digital and interactive channels. She has worked with senior staff members to achieve record sales, company growth, and strategic objectives. Lucette has extensive experience in wedding and event planning, which she translates into creative content through her TikTok and Instagram account. She also has training from Second City and iO Theater in Chicago, where she developed her storytelling skills. Currently based in Australia, Lucette continues to work in marketing and create content about the wedding and events industry.

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Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis, and we have got a great episode for you today. Lucette Brown from Events and affairs is back and it’s well to think. She was actually my very first guest ever on the podcast, and we are coming close to a year of the podcast, which is just wild to think. The first episode came out January 23rd of this year, 2025. As I’m recording and yeah, we’re almost at a year of when it came out Les and I feel like I just talked to Issa. I mean, we see each other online all the time in chat, but um, it was so great catching up with her and we read a very wild, very long, very detailed story that I feel like you guys are gonna really get a kick out of because our opinions we’re very aligned in our opinion, but it might not be.

This response, you guys might think. So, uh, we got a lot to share, a lot of wild stories. And as always, Lou and as always, Lucette just has a lot of great stories and great opinions of per sleeve. So, without further ado, here is my interview with Lucette. Enjoy.

Christa Innis: Hi Lucette. Thanks for coming back.

Lucette Brown: No worries.

Christa Innis: I feel like it’s so funny ’cause we’ll always like start recording or we’ll start talking when we first hop on. I feel like we had a full conversation, but I’m just so happy to have you come back on. I’ve got my, yeah, thanks for

Lucette Brown: having me.

Christa Innis: Busy mom chic right now because we’re recording to match up our time zones.

You’re in Australia, which is awesome.

Lucette Brown: Yep. sunny in the afternoon here.

Christa Innis: Yeah, because you’re about you you were just saying you’re about to hit summer in Australia. Yeah, right.

Lucette Brown: Yeah. Not that, I mean, I’m from Melbourne, so summer is a loose term at the moment. It’s been torrential rain. I feel like we’re still in winter, the rest of the country’s in summer, almost in summer.

Christa Innis: Oh God. is it kind of like cold and then rainy and then a little bit of warm weather? Or is it kind of just a mix?

Lucette Brown: no, Melbourne’s just all over the joint with its weather. yeah, we say that Melbourne is literally the four seasons in one day. and like, at my workplace, I’ll be chatting to my colleagues that are, you know, interstate and stuff.

They’ll be in Queensland and they just have beautiful sunshine weather. And then, you know, US people in Melbourne are just always rugged up.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. You like never know what we’re gonna get.

Lucette Brown: No. But then we’ll get like, you know, two weeks of just like 40 plus degree days.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And

Lucette Brown: then we’re all just dying from the heat.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Four. Okay. So 40 degrees Celsius.

Lucette Brown: Celsius, yes.

Christa Innis: Gotta be little. What is that? 80? 80 degrees. I looked that up. 40 degrees.

Lucette Brown: I dunno if fa I think Farran has a little bit than four.

Christa Innis: Whoa. Okay. It’s really hot. Yeah, I’d be inside. Yeah.

Lucette Brown: Yeah.

Christa Innis: I used to be able to tolerate hot weather so much better when I was younger.

And I try not to complain now, but like, I can’t handle it as well. I get sick.

Lucette Brown: I’m not built for the heat.

Christa Innis: Ugh.

Lucette Brown: Like I’m built for, you know, Scotland Island. I’m not built further. my body is not built for the, hot climate, but

Christa Innis: Oh my. Here we are. Here we are. We just do a with. Yeah.

Lucette Brown: Yeah. I’ll go out with sunscreen on and I’ll come back.

Burn.

Christa Innis: Oh. So,

Lucette Brown: oh

Christa Innis: my gosh.

Lucette Brown: I need sunscreen layers and shade. Get, I’ll make good.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my God, that’s so funny. I know, like where I live, I’m in the suburb or I guess like the Midwest of the United States. I was like, trying to think of what suburb, and we kinda get all the seasons too. Like you never really know what you’re gonna get.

Like we’ll get cold summers and then sometimes we’ll get. We won’t get snow until like January or February. So I don’t really trust any season anymore.

Lucette Brown: No.

Christa Innis: You know what, take it day by day. We had 80. Yeah.

Lucette Brown: Everyone’s like

Christa Innis: until October this year. So

Lucette Brown: Yeah. Everyone’s like, what season are you? I’m like, I don’t know.

It’s still cold.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Lucette Brown: So what’s is that In Chicago.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I’m not in Chicago. I grew up in the suburbs of Chicago, but I’m like, I’m like two and a half hours from Chicago now.

Lucette Brown: Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. ’cause that’s, I lived in Chicago for almost a year.

Christa Innis: Oh yeah, we talked about this. That’s awesome.

That’s, you did, that’s of fun city, didn’t you?

Lucette Brown: Yeah. Second City improv, IO theater, all that kind of stuff. So I just lived in, old town.

Christa Innis: Okay. Oh, that’s awesome. Yeah, I was just there downtown last weekend and I haven’t had like a full day in Chicago in a long time. I met with my best friend there and no kids, no husbands, and it was just like,

Lucette Brown: oh, fun.

Our

Christa Innis: oyster. Like, what are we gonna, it was almost like we’re so used to like, momming or just having schedules that we were like, what? What do we do? What do we do?

Lucette Brown: What do we do? Well, our oyster, we can do whatever we like.

Christa Innis: Yeah. It was wild.

Lucette Brown:

From Weddings to Motherhood

Christa Innis: So for anyone that did not listen to your previous episode that you were on, you kind of done a little bit of everything.

I know you did events as well. Can you just give a little rundown of who you are, what you do, what you have done, and

Lucette Brown: Yep.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Lucette Brown: Mixed bag. well, essentially I was in the. Wedding and event industry for just over 13 years. so my very first job was a very kind of mixed bag. So it was at, I suppose I can say the places, ’cause it’s not like I’m working there now.

I never know like whether you’re allowed to say, but I’m like, you could easily find it if you were just to do a quick Google search. So, my first job was at the state library, of Victoria. And that was a very kind of mixed bag of like music concerts, press releases, weddings, lots of different things.

it became very popular, when sex in the city became big and Carrie got married, at the state library, but married, she got left at the state library, but a lot of people wanted to be like her. So it was funny, our inquiries. Went through the roof, for that. ’cause it had like the marble staircase and everything like that.

So a lot of people wanted like the sex and the city moment.

Christa Innis: So it looks like the wedding that she had, are we talking the like with big

Lucette Brown: Yeah. Where she gets left?

Christa Innis: Yes. Was that so it, I know,

Lucette Brown: uh, yeah, similar. So it’s got like the marble staircases that lead up to, like the old 1850s part of the state library and stuff.

so like very different but also similar parts of it. but yeah, so then, you know, went to lots of different places and then, Kind of left the Melbourne City area and kind of worked at venues down, I live on the Mornington Peninsula, so, down this way. And then, yeah, just kind of really honed in and just focused on weddings.

and then, yeah, had my daughter and tried to juggle a little, but the 14 hour days just weren’t, just, wasn’t it anymore. So I lasted until she was probably about six months and then yeah, did a bit of a career change.

Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s a lot. Especially like when they’re so small and you’re trying to balance it all.

And like you said, 14 hour work days, that’s a lot.

Lucette Brown: Just not, just not it.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Lucette Brown: So it was a bit hard to kind of, because I suppose for me, like the weddings and the clients were kind of like my babies in a sense. And then, yeah, once I kind of had a baby, I couldn’t. give them everything that I was so used to being able to give.

so yeah, it just, it was at a crossroads and it was just kind of like, no, I need to. I need to stop this while it’s still, you know, good and, you know, ending on, on good terms and stuff. and then, yeah, just kind of pivoted. Not to say I won’t ever get back there. for now my life kind of needed to change a little bit.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I’m glad you were able to like, figure that out for yourself and make that change. ’cause I feel like it’s hard to have that realization. ’cause I feel like after you have a baby, it’s like your priorities change in different ways. Mm-hmm. You don’t always

Lucette Brown: expect so much.

Christa Innis: I remember like when I was pregnant talking to a friend that just had a baby who owned her business, and I was like, I don’t know how I’m gonna work and take care of a baby. No. she’s like, something clicks where like your priorities change. And then when you do have time, you’re present with them when you have free time, she’s like, you’re just very focused.

You’re like, let’s get this done while you have time.

Lucette Brown: Oh. I say, yeah, there’s no one more productive than, a mom. Like, you know, I look at like how long it used to take me to get things done at like my jobs and stuff. And now I’m just like, man, I wasted a lot of time. I know,

Christa Innis: I know. It’s funny ’cause someone was just asking me like, they’re like, what does your work week look like?

And I was like, honestly, no two weeks are the same. I said, but when I get a good two hours that I know I focus, I just like B boom, boom. Yeah. Nothing else can bother me.

Lucette Brown: You can smash a lot out.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And I feel like I used to be the person where if a text came through I had to respond right away. Now I can’t entertain a text because I know I’ll get distracted and you’ll get lost in the realms of your phone.

I’m like, if I’m into something I have to just like focus or else I get too.

Lucette Brown: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or two shiny things. I’ll just be like, oh. And then I, they’ll be like, um, hello? And I’m like, oh, I’m so sorry. Circling back.

Christa Innis: Yes. like I did for this, um, invite to our Zoom call. I literal

Lucette Brown: Yeah. Well, and yeah, and me responding to your message.

Christa Innis: Wait, we, I was like,

Lucette Brown: oh, I haven’t heard from Crystal.

Christa Innis: Well, we like booked. It’s

Lucette Brown: like, that’s because I haven’t responded. That would be on me.

Christa Innis: No. But I, I looked back and I created it for Monday. So the day I sent the link, I created it for that day. And I was like, girl, what are you doing? But it’s just one of those things, like,

Lucette Brown: I was actually sitting here at 11:00 AM my time, and I was like, already. And I’m like, Hmm. And then it’s like, oh, that’s not the right time. And then you popped up and I was like, oh, well,

Christa Innis: I was like, I think I messed up the time zone. But we just figure it out. We always figure it out.

thanks for being here.

We gotta do another, it’s okay.

Lucette Brown: It’s fun.

Wedding Stress & Boundaries

Christa Innis: I was just thinking we gotta do another skit because I remember we did one a little after you were on the podcast and I was thinking like by the time this comes out to, I don’t know the exact date, but it might be close to a year of like your initial episode, which is wild to think.

Lucette Brown: That is wild

Christa Innis: because you were one of the first That’s nuts. Episodes in like,

Lucette Brown: yeah.

Christa Innis: January or February.

Lucette Brown: That’s so awesome. Congratulations on getting to a year. It’s wild. That’s awesome.

Christa Innis: Thanks. Yeah, it doesn’t feel like it. I feel like I just started. I feel like I’m still a beginner.

Lucette Brown: That’s right. I feel like that’s everyone.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Just figuring out like Stay outta time, but I was like, oh wow. I think she might actually be like right around the same time as last time. Okay. Let’s get into this new segment. Actually, let’s do unpopular opinions. This is a little, it’s kind of a similar segment, but these are gonna be popular, unpopular relationship and drama takes.

So share thoughts on these that people send. Long engagements aren’t a red flag. They’re financially smart.

Lucette Brown: Yeah. I mean, technically my husband and I are still engaged because we never got married.

Christa Innis: Oh, there you go.

Lucette Brown: Like legally We got married overseas. so Oh,

Christa Innis: you had a destination wedding?

Lucette Brown: Yeah.

Christa Innis: like a certificate, a marriage certificate?

Lucette Brown: yeah. So you are supposed to, so if you get married in a.

Like a different country. You can get married legally in that country, but you always still have to get married legally in your country.

Christa Innis: Oh.

Lucette Brown: And you still gotta fill out all the paperwork we never did it. so we got married in 2019, so right before, you know, the whole world changed Uhhuh and it just, yeah.

We never, I chatting to people who did destination weddings, everyone was like, do the paperwork first because you just, you won’t do it afterwards. And I’m like, yeah, it doesn’t really bother me. Whatever. Like, we’ll do it if we do it. And Yeah. No, I even had, at my job, I would have celebrates be like, I will come to your house and we will just do it.

Like, it’ll be easy and simple. And I’m like, yeah, we’ll get to it. it was just, I’m like, yeah, but then I gotta get witnesses. I got people around and like at that stage. Especially being in Melbourne, we were in and out of stage four lockdowns. Oh my. Which, unless you’re from Melbourne, you don’t understand what that means, which you should be very thankful.

but yeah, so it was just, yeah. So technically we’re still engaged

Christa Innis: and yeah. In the country you reside, you’re still engaged, but where’d you get married?

Lucette Brown: Bali.

Christa Innis: Bali. So if you go there, you’re still legally married?

Lucette Brown: No, we also didn’t get legally married there either.

Christa Innis: So you’re just,

Lucette Brown: we just had a party. one of my best mates, married us. and like in Australia it’s very different. It’s not like America where you can kind of just get like ordained online. You’ve gotta do like a full course. Mm-hmm. And it’s quite a lengthy process to be able to legally marry people in Australia.

and it’s quite expensive, so. Yeah. No, one of my mates just married us.

Christa Innis: I love it. But you know what, it’s like you guys did a party and an event that you really enjoyed, like for yourself ultimately. And that’s,

Lucette Brown: yeah, that’s all we kind of wanted. We just wanted the big party.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And I think with you probably working in stuff and weddings, you’re like, I know exactly what I want.

I’m not gonna cater to other people. This is gonna be our event. And I feel like you said last

Lucette Brown: well, and two, I didn’t wanna get married. Here because I can’t, I knew all of the suppliers, like the venues and stuff, and to me, especially like being like a people pleaser, I couldn’t bear the thought of being like, oh, well I picked you and I didn’t pick you, and Oh wow.

You know? Sorry. I had so many beautiful relationships with so many people, the thought of having to like, choose, I was just like, nah, too high basket. I’m just going to go to a different country.

Christa Innis: That is such a good point. That’s like,

if all your friends were, I mean, I don’t even know, like a dress designer or something, you know, like if you work with someone so close, then you’re like, I can’t, then they’re clearly, clearly gonna know who my favorite is or, you know, something

Lucette Brown: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Like that. You’re like, I can’t. Yeah, that’s a really good point. I didn’t think about that.

Lucette Brown: Yeah, so the only, like, we flew over the catering and then I flew over the musician. and then that was kind of it. Everyone else was. Supplies over there.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Wow. That’s a great point though about the long engagements.

Like when anytime I post like anything about like people waiting a while to get engaged or people waiting while to get married, people have so many opinions about it and I’m like, every situation is completely different. Oh, a hundred percent are different. It’s just like I don’t get how people can get so up in arms about like, ‘ cause like my husband and I are like the opposite.

We’re, I dunno if it’s the opposite, but like we dated a long time before we got engaged. Like we were together or six years before we got engaged. We always knew we were going to, but like I was 23 when I met him, so I was like, I don’t wanna get married anytime soon.

if I do skits or people get married or like get engaged after like a long time, they’re like, red flag, red flag.

And I’m like, that’s not always the case. Like I know people that started dating 16, like give people a break.

Lucette Brown: Yeah. Literally. Well I think, yeah, my partner and I. We’ve been together 14 years now. We’ve been married for six. So we got engaged after eight years.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Lucette Brown: And yeah.

Christa Innis: doesn’t determine like your strength as a couple.

Lucette Brown: No. we had a lot of strong opinions. I think people have just accepted it now ’cause it’s been six years and they’re like, yeah, whatever. but we had a lot of strong opinions when people found out we weren’t legally married.

Christa Innis: Really?

Lucette Brown: And people were like, so what did we go to? we went to our wedding.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Lucette Brown: And people were like, well, no we didn’t. You’re not legally married. And we’re like, we are like,

Christa Innis: well, and it’s like for us, like how many couples have you followed up with that you’ve been to their wedding to be like, did you file the paperwork? Like no one. I know I didn’t.

Lucette Brown: No, it’s only came out because obviously we got married internationally.

So people were like, oh, how does that work? And then, you know, it’ll obviously come up. And then, yeah. Some people, especially like, you know, the older. The older generations in that were kind of a bit, yeah. Got real funny about it. And especially ’cause, you know, they had to fly to another country and stuff.

And we were like, yeah, how awesome is it that we all got to fly to Bali and we all got to have this amazing holiday all together. Like, when else are we ever gonna do that? And how awesome it is that we got to have this huge party.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Lucette Brown: Like let’s focus on the positives people.

Christa Innis: Like why, why are we complaining about that?

Lucette Brown: Why are you complaining? Like I think that’s a crazy thing.

Christa Innis: That’s an amazing

Lucette Brown: trip. Yeah.

Christa Innis: I wanna

Lucette Brown: call. We had an amazing holiday. None like that whole group of people will never be in Bali together probably again.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. So, yeah.

Lucette Brown: but we had a lot of, a lot of strong opinions on that.

Christa Innis: Wow, that’s so interesting.

But really nothing surprises me anymore. People just have a lot of opinions about

Lucette Brown: people have opinions on everything.

Christa Innis: Yeah. okay. This one says. not inviting toxic family members is self-care, not drama.

Lucette Brown: A hundred percent.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Lucette Brown: Straight down the middle with that. Get rid of the toxicity. Get rid of the toxic family members.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Lucette Brown: I think like 10 years ago, me would’ve been like, oh no. Like you have to have them now. Uh, no. I just don’t have the space all time.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I would say that it’s not worth it. One of the benefits of like not getting in my own personal, I’m not saying it didn’t work for some people getting married young, but for me personally, if I would’ve gotten married really young, like when I first met my now husband, I feel like I would’ve been such a people placer.

Like, yeah, okay. Yeah. And like invite every friend or every person I ever had like a hangout with, you know?

Lucette Brown: Yeah.

Christa Innis: I would’ve had way too many bridesmaids that maybe weren’t super close or great friends just ’cause I was like, I don’t wanna leave anybody out, but. Getting married when I did, I was more like, no, this is what I want.

I haven’t talked to that person in a couple years. They’ve never reached out. You know, we’re not gonna invite. Not

Lucette Brown: worth it.

Christa Innis: Just,

Lucette Brown: yeah.

Christa Innis: Easier a little bit.

Lucette Brown: Yeah.

Christa Innis: All right, last one. The real red flag is how someone might handle wedding stress. Us.

Lucette Brown: I don’t know because I’ve seen like the most beautiful people as like my clients and stuff who have been like so nice and so lovely, and then come to like, the week of their wedding. Like it’s just like someone else goes over them, like the stress gets to them and stuff, and it’s just.

Yeah. I don’t know. So I think people handle stress different.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Lucette Brown: And I don’t know necessarily whether that’s a red flag or not. Maybe just something they need to personally work on.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. I

Lucette Brown: know. Something that, you know, we can overcome.

Christa Innis: Right. I know you would hope, like if, you know, you’re like high strung around stress or like stressful situations make you act a certain way.

Like you have like a support group around you. Yeah. And my thing is just don’t be mean to people when you’re stressed. No.

Lucette Brown: Yeah.

Christa Innis: It’s the same for like the quote unquote, like Karen’s or something. No offense to anyone named Karen that’s listening, but it’s like those videos where they’re like stressed ’cause like their food came out wrong or you know, something like dumb like that and they freak out on someone, helping them.

That’s what I don’t have sympathy for. if you’re gonna be rude or mean to someone just because you are stressed or you’re going, or like you’re late so you’re like honking your horn at somebody like

Lucette Brown: mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: Take a breather.

Lucette Brown: Yeah.

Christa Innis: You can still be nice. And

yeah,

Lucette Brown: and I think that was, the time again, like COVID hit and stuff and in Melbourne we had to cancel all of our weddings and stuff.

And being on the end of that and having to call all of the couples, like people who literally were having weddings in two days. And I was just like, yeah, your wedding’s not going ahead. Oh my God. and like some of the people were so beautiful. Like you’ve literally called them, they have been planning this wedding for, God knows how long their wedding is supposed to be happening in two days and like now it’s not happening.

And not only that, I don’t know when it can happen because the problem we had is obviously like you’re canceling all these people, but like we’re already booked up for, two, three years. So then you are having like. The COVID backlog trying to deal with that and stuff. And that was probably like how people handled that situation.

I still remember the people who got and like, rightfully so like, yeah, okay. Get angry, but like, they would get like horrendously angry like at me and I’m like, I’m not the one putting, putting us, you know, this isn’t, it’s not my personal fault.

I’m just having to relay the information.

Yeah. I’m not, not me. I’m just relaying just relaying the information.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Lucette Brown: Um, so yeah, that was probably, ’cause you know, like who in their wildest dreams would’ve ever thought that was ever gonna be something that Right. We would have to deal with. and then yeah, having to make those phone calls. and then yeah, seeing how people dealt with that.

It was like, yeah, like very beautiful humans that were just okay. It is what it is.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Lucette Brown: Like it sucks and I’ll cry about it, but can’t change it.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Lucette Brown: Whereas some people are like, no, I’m getting married. I’m like, no, I’m sorry, but no, you’re not.

Christa Innis: Sorry.

Lucette Brown: Fuck. I hate to break it to you, but

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Lucette Brown: Uh, no, it’s not happening.

Christa Innis: That has to be a really stressful phone call for you to make. I feel like especially you’re saying you’re a people pleaser or like have that tendencies, like,

Lucette Brown: oh, anxiety just,

Christa Innis: oh, I already hate the phone. So doing that, knowing you’re telling them something bad that’s,

Lucette Brown: oh, it was. And like, I think they knew, ’cause obviously like there were press releases at the time and, it was being announced that this was happening.

you would know you were about to get the phone call, but yeah. And then you’d just be on the other end and sometimes you’re just listening to like just sobbing and you’re just like, okay, well I’ve got about a hundred more of these phone calls to make, so bye.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. I’m sure by the last one you’re just like, I’m sorry, this is it.

Lucette Brown: Oh, I’m done.

Christa Innis: Yeah,

Lucette Brown: I’m

Christa Innis: done. Oh my gosh. Gosh. That was like,

Lucette Brown: I was trying to like pass it on to like my colleagues and stuff, but because like I was the manager in that, they’re like, Nope, that’s a you problem. I’m like, yep, fair enough.

Christa Innis: Got it.

Lucette Brown: Fair enough. I’d do the same thing too. Gosh,

Christa Innis: gosh. That like reminds me of I feel like some of the most stressful calls I had to make was when I used to work for a gym.

I worked in like the corporate office. So like I was not in the gym, did not work with the clients, but every once in a while I had people calling the corporate office complaining about like a membership thing. Like maybe they didn’t cancel in time had to be like, sorry, it’s in your contract, blah, blah, blah.

Like I don’t even remember the term, but I had people scream at me on the phone. I was like, I did not sign you up for this contract. I am literally in the corporate office. And then I. This lady,

Lucette Brown: I didn’t write the contracts.

Christa Innis: I was like, I don’t agree with it either, but I’m really relaying the iteration, like it was a terrible, toxic job.

Hated it. but I remember this one time, I was already having like a rough day. Like the boss was terrible. he yelled at me for just having a bad day. Like he literally, so I was already having a bad day. This lady is screaming at me on the phone and I just started crying and the lady was like, okay, you know what?

I’m,

Lucette Brown: I’m, I’ll keep my contract. Thank you. Sorry. Signed me up for another 12 months. It’s fine.

Christa Innis: No, she literally did was like, okay, sorry sweetie. I didn’t make fina make you cry. And I was like, it’s just been a rough day. Gosh.

Lucette Brown: Like people forget, like the people you’re abusing are humans and like a lot of the times the people you’re abusing don’t have the power to change anything.

Yeah. Like,

Christa Innis: like,

Lucette Brown: and like the 16 year olds behind the coffee counter, and they’re just like. Here’s your coffee.

Christa Innis: You’re like, dude, I work, like I work here after school. Like I, yeah. Doing what I can. I cannot make any changes.

Lucette Brown: No.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Lucette Brown: Dunno why you’re abusing me, but thanks.

Christa Innis: Yeah, thanks. Oh my gosh, it’s wild.

Last-Minute Saves & Meltdowns

Okay, before we get to this week’s wild story, I wanna do a quick, little quick, might be redundant, but a rapid fire event planning edition. So I’m gonna ask a random question and we’re just gonna try to be as quick as possible. Okay. You ready? No pressure. I’m saying like high stress moments

Lucette Brown: first that pops into my head.

Christa Innis: Yeah. What’s one vendor? Red flag?

Lucette Brown: Not being flexible.

Christa Innis: Ooh. What’s a client

Lucette Brown: like? Their way or the highway?

Christa Innis: Yeah. What’s a client? Red flag

Lucette Brown: Entitlement.

Christa Innis: Hmm. Funniest guest request you’ve ever gotten?

Lucette Brown: Oh God. I know this is supposed to be a quick fire and this is not quick fire.

Christa Innis: If you can’t think of one, it’s okay to like pass to

Lucette Brown: No, it’s more, I’m trying to think of like, what would be the top, like we’ve had people request to do, magic shows, comedy acts, dances. We had people, there’s always a people who request to sing and they can’t sing.

And I’m always asking why.

Christa Innis: Oh, do they try to do it behind the bride and groom’s back, like out as a surprise?

Lucette Brown: Mm-hmm. As a surprise.

Christa Innis: Oh. How do you work that out? Do you have to like ask the bride and groom for permission?

Lucette Brown: it depends on the client. Like, because you, you know, you’re spending up to two years with these people, so you really do get to know them on like a personal level.

Yeah. Um, and yeah, it would depend on the couple, whether I would be like, oh, they would love that, or no, let’s maybe think of a different situation where that might work. maybe not at their wedding. but yeah,

Christa Innis: that’s,

Lucette Brown: wow. So it’s the people who can’t sing,

Christa Innis: I

Lucette Brown: just, they’re like, I’ll sing.

Christa Innis: They’re like, for my first act, I’ll be singing at their reception right in front of them.

I’m

Lucette Brown: gonna start singing.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. I just read a story where a mother, yeah, I was a bride’s mom. Planned this whole thing, like took over the whole wedding and then sang for like, I wanna say it was like 30 minutes for like everybody. And there was like nothing they could do. The bride didn’t want it, but like she was the one that booked everything.

Did everything. So she made it like her event, and they were like,

Lucette Brown: see, we have had those scenarios before where I have literally just pulled the plug

Christa Innis: Really?

Lucette Brown: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Oh my.

Lucette Brown: And I’ve done it on a DJ before too.

Christa Innis: A dj. What’d the DJ do?

Lucette Brown: They were singing when they went to, they were singing? Yeah.

Christa Innis: Why was the DJ singing?

Lucette Brown: Just felt like it felt moved by the music. And I looked at the, I looked at the couple and like, she’s just like looking at me and I’m like, is this like, I walked up to her and I was like, is this supposed to happen? She’s like, no. And I’m like, is this part of the service? And she goes, no, I don’t want them to be singing.

I’m like, oh, okay. And I like tried to like in between, I was like, okay. I love that you are trying to add a different level to this wedding. Like, fantastic. Um, but could we not, like, could we just stick to DJing? That would be great, but they just wouldn’t listen. and then it like gets to the point where it’s just like, yeah, okay, you’re being paid for a service.

You are not listening to me now.

Christa Innis: Yeah,

Lucette Brown: I’m done. So I just pulled the microphone and I’m like, put your DJ music back on please. And just walked away. That is

Christa Innis: wild. To be like, because

Lucette Brown: I was like, whatever. I was like, I’ll be the bad guy. that’s fine. The couple are here to, you know, this is their wedding day.

and then yeah.

Christa Innis: Oh my

Lucette Brown: God. Safe to say that they weren’t exactly Welcome back at the venue.

Christa Innis: Yeah. That’s wild. To just start singing as the dj.

Lucette Brown: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Like, oh, I

Lucette Brown: can s better than,

Christa Innis: uh, Whitney Houston over here. Just lemme

Lucette Brown: know. Yeah. Felt moved by the music and just whipped out a microphone and started singing.

Christa Innis: Wow. I’ve heard it all. I’ve heard it all. Let’s see. best last minute save. You’ve pulled off.

Lucette Brown: Ooh,

Christa Innis: I know these, some, these are like hard and like detailed.

Lucette Brown: Probably the one that probably comes to mind was ages ago. and it was at the state library and how it works is like the whole place is on like four blocks, in the Melbourne CBD and we had a huge power outage, but only half of the library was part of the power outage.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Lucette Brown: And we had this huge, corporate event, which was this huge like launch for, I won’t say the client, but huge like product launch, all that kind of stuff. And it was happening in like an hour. I was on the phone and unfortunately, like they couldn’t say.

When we were getting power. ’cause obviously we are very low on the list, for when people get their power back and stuff. And they couldn’t give us a time estimate. So we had to completely relocate to a completely different, area in the library. And then with no power. Like with no power.

We had no lifts and we were trying to get ovens and stuff up, the mumble staircases and stuff, and we had to use ramps and it was just like pulling out every trick in the book Oh my To pull the event off. And literally as the event, it all got pulled together as the guests were arriving.

Christa Innis: Whoa.

So just in the naked time?

Lucette Brown: Just in naked time.

Christa Innis: Wow.

Lucette Brown: So that was like, I was what, I think it was like when all this was happening. So you put

Christa Innis: like, fresh in like,

Lucette Brown: yeah, fresh in thinking on my toast. I do remember like pushing ovens up on like planks of wood trying to get like, not, not oh HNS, you gotta get what you gotta get done.

So that was probably the best last minute save off the top of my head.

Christa Innis: That’s wild. That’s a good example. have you ever had to hide a meltdown from a client?

Lucette Brown: A lot,

Christa Innis:

Lucette Brown: Too many to count. So many, so many meltdowns from family members, even like meltdowns from brides who didn’t want their guests to see.

but yeah, the most recent venue I worked at, we had like a little kind of like cottage, which we could put people in. but yes, we would have to move a lot or like, not just meltdowns, just like. Family who’ve gotten too heated and we’re like, okay, we need to separate you guys. and then, yeah,

Christa Innis: it’s like a whole,

Lucette Brown: yeah.

That would happen more often than not. Oh

Christa Innis: my gosh. It’s wild.

Lucette Brown: Weddings, place of love.

Christa Innis: Nice. It’s like a high stress, like any kind of issue or problem gets all just brought to the surface and

Lucette Brown: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Lucette Brown: And we would have so many too during the ceremony, and especially come like summertime and you’ve got a ceremony outside and if it’s, you know, a ridiculously hot day and you’ve had people who haven’t eaten and they’ve just been drinking and they haven’t necessarily drunk water, like people just like passing out during the ceremony.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh.

Lucette Brown: So that would happen a bit as well.

Christa Innis: Okay.

Lucette Brown: It would go too hard on the pre-drinks.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. I’m sure that’s pretty common. I’ve seen it happen at a lot of weddings.

Lucette Brown: Yeah.

Christa Innis: they run wild, you know. Yeah. Bars are open, drinks are flowing. Yeah.

Lucette Brown: this is before our bra even opened.

This is like their own, their own bars been opened

Christa Innis: right. To the hotel or something. Yeah.

Lucette Brown: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. what’s a wedding trend? You’re over?

Lucette Brown: Hmm.

God

probably, it might be, but wedding favors like Ardi.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I feel like that’s a

Lucette Brown: lot. I just think it’s the price per head is just astronomical these days. I don’t think you also need to be buying your guest a present, which just gets left.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yeah. I’ve seen some really cool favors and they’re fun, but I feel like for the most part, they get left behind or

Lucette Brown: Mm.

Christa Innis: Just kinda like, don’t care about them. There’s certain people and I feel like it’s, maybe it’s ’cause it’s like, I love crafts and I love like little trinkets. So for me it’s like, oh, like I remember this from my friend’s wedding. But I would say majority of people are just kind of like, okay. Or they like leave them behind.

Lucette Brown: Yeah. and two, the amount of it would get to the point where you’d be like, towards the end of the wedding season and the staff were even like, I can’t take any more wedding papers home. Like, and the couples would be like, please, like, we don’t want them. And the staff are like, I don’t want them either.

Christa Innis: I don’t need another bottle opener or a cozy,

Lucette Brown: no, I don’t need another, stubby holder. I don’t need another, you know, so many things that people would have. I’m like, I just, we are good. Thank you. Of like a couple that you don’t really actually know.

Christa Innis: okay. we were talking before we started about different phrases from different countries and

Lucette Brown: Oh God, it’s stubby holder, isn’t

Christa Innis: it?

Stubby holder. So the only reason I know what that is now is because someone submitted a, I wanna say it was a story to me. I couldn’t remember if it was an unpopular opinion of a story. And I was reading, I was like, stubby holder, I gotta look that up. and I was like, oh, okay. Because we call ’em like beer coozies.

I’m thinking that’s what, ah, it like, it goes with a beer bottle.

Lucette Brown: Yeah. It’s a sleeve. It’s like an insulated sleeve that you can hold your cold beer.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I love that. And

Lucette Brown: yeah, a stubby holder.

Christa Innis: That sounds so much better than a coat. Cozy. I dunno. I

Lucette Brown: know. Cozy sounds cute though. Stubby holders just like, yeah.

I don’t know. That’s Aussie slang for you.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Lucette Brown: Stubby. Stubby holder.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I

Lucette Brown: Beer.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I feel like that used to be a very common, the last couple weddings I went to, I got like. I did get a cool, like beer, gosh, now I don’t know the term of it. Like kinda an old fashioned like beer mug, which was kind of cool.

Lucette Brown: Ah, yeah. In

Christa Innis: one wedding. I don’t know. I’d been so long since I’ve been like at a wedding as a guest. I just helped with a wedding like over the summer. I don’t remember what the beavers were. I don’t remember.

Lucette Brown: Oh, I’m very excited. We were about to go, oh, we

Christa Innis: did a flower bar.

They did a flower bar.

Lucette Brown: A flower bar. Oh yes. We used have the, yeah. Grand flowers and stuff. Yep.

Christa Innis: Yeah,

Lucette Brown: we had a few we had a lot of flower bars. I’m about to go to a wedding in about two weeks of one of the colleagues that I used to work with at

Christa Innis: Oh, fun.

Lucette Brown: The most recent wedding place I worked at.

Christa Innis: Oh, that’s fun. Yeah.

Lucette Brown: So that’ll be fun.

Christa Innis: Have you,

Lucette Brown: it’s always weird been on the other side.

Christa Innis: Yeah. To Do you think you like notice more things than like,

Lucette Brown: oh, a hundred percent. I try not to, and like I try to like switch it off and stuff. And I remember I was at one of my best friend’s wedding just recently and I was there and like I knew like the celebrate and everything, like we were chatting and stuff and you know, I was like, oh, like, you know, what can I do and everything.

And they kept going, just stop, go and enjoy yourself. And I’m like, okay,

Christa Innis: yeah,

Lucette Brown: sorry, forgot.

Christa Innis: You know, I had that problem for the longest time where I would be like. A guest invited to the wedding, not in the wedding party, but I would find some way to like help. Not like I was like overbearing and being like, look, no,

Lucette Brown: like I’m just like, yeah, like what can I do?

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like I’d be like texting the friend and being like, Hey, can’t wait for your wedding. I’m so excited. If you need anything, let me know. And they’d be like, oh. And I’d be like, just chatting with them. I’d be like, do you need help with that? Because there’ve been a few weddings where I’d be talking to the bride just like a friend of mine they’d be like really stressed about stuff.

And I was like, girl, what can I do to help? So I’d like go over there and help. And they’d be like,

Lucette Brown: yeah,

Christa Innis: why are my bridesmaids not even helping and you’re helping? I’m like, I don’t know. I just like enjoy doing it. My husband’s like, how’d you get involved again? And I’m like, I don’t know. I like doing stuff like that.

Lucette Brown: Yeah, just what happens.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Lucette Brown: It’s just part of it. That was, now that my daughter is in kindergarten and she’s just started and like my husband was like. whatever you do, like please don’t, please don’t join the committee. And I’m like, no. Like I don’t have time to be on the committee. Like it’s all fine.

And then last year I went to like the big A GM that they had and I thought I was like signing up to create like a group WhatsApp account for like the moms and stuff. And I was like, oh yeah, I’ll do that. Like that’s fine, I’ll do that.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Lucette Brown: And then one of the moms I was with was, she was like, oh congratulations, you’re on the committee.

I’m on the what now? And she’s like, you just signed up for the committee? And I’m like, no, I signed up to create a WhatsApp group. And she goes, yeah, that’s on the committee. I’m like,

Christa Innis: you are

Lucette Brown: part of, okay great. flash. And I was telling like when I was with all my friends, like, ’cause we’ve been friends for like 20 plus years now, and I was saying, you know, like I’m not being on the committee.

Like it’s not happening. And one of my mates, he’s like, doll. You’ll be president of the committee. Like before I know it and I’m like, no I won’t. Like no, I don’t have time. Flash forward to now and I am now the president of the committee.

Christa Innis: Oh my Lucy. You’re like Al, I just made time. I figured it out. Wait, what’s time? It went from you? What’s his?

Lucette Brown: Aries.

Christa Innis: Aries. Oh, Aries get stuff done. They really do.

Lucette Brown: Okay. Well it went from being the WhatsApp group to then being the fundraising person and like doing all the events and stuff. And then now I’m, yeah, the president.

Christa Innis: Oh my. You’re like, who me? don’t know.

Lucette Brown: Yeah. I was like, no, I don’t have time. And they’re like, all my friends who like know me more than me are like, please, yes you will be. You will be on that. You will be on that committee. I’m like, no,

I don’t have time.

Christa Innis: Love that story. That is hilarious.

Lucette Brown: So it’s fun.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. You just,

Lucette Brown: we’ll make it work.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I feel like what we were talking about before, I don’t now, I don’t remember if this was when we were recording or not, but it’s like that mom thing we were talking about where it’s like all of a sudden you just make it happen.

Like you’re like, I got two hours. what normally would’ve maybe taken me 10, eight to 10 hours I will get done in. Yeah.

Lucette Brown: I’ll get it done.

Christa Innis: Who knows when my daughter will wake up, who knows when she’ll get home, you know, whatever it is. I’m gonna make this time count.

Lucette Brown: happen.

Christa Innis: You’re gonna,

Lucette Brown: it’s a lot of hours in a day.

Christa Innis: There’s so many hours in the day and

Lucette Brown: you don’t need sleep. Sleep’s overrated.

Christa Innis: Oh yeah. It’s

Lucette Brown: fine.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. You’re telling me, I’m like, that’s why I was telling you, the second I lay down with my daughter, I’m out because I refuse to nap. I don’t like napping. ’cause it makes me feel like I have so much to do.

I gotta get stuff done. I’ve been this way since like high school, college. I just could not nap. And so, especially now that I’m like. Six hours of sleep every night about if I lay down to sleep. I’ve still not caught up from like when she was a baby, baby. And you get like hours. Oh yeah. God, no.

Lucette Brown: those years are gone.

Christa Innis: Those are gone. I feel like my body’s just always ready, like it’s always fall asleep.

Lucette Brown: Yeah.

Christa Innis: So I don’t

Lucette Brown: know. That was, I was reading somewhere and someone said, it was like, it takes four hours to like recoup like one hour of miss sleep. And I was like, I’m done. I’m never recouping those hours that I lost.

Christa Innis: Mm.

Lucette Brown: That’s

Christa Innis: no for like any new moms listening, this is what I did. And maybe it was like a little d Lulu, but this is what helped me when I would wake up in the middle of the night to like nurse her or just like, you know, if we had to change a diaper, whatever it was.

Lucette Brown: Mm.

Christa Innis: I refused to look at the clock.

I didn’t wanna know what Yeah. It was,

Lucette Brown: no,

Christa Innis: I had to do the

Lucette Brown: same

Christa Innis: so much. ’cause I would like. Not know how tired I was the next morning. Like I’d be like, I’m just gonna drink my coffee and carry on it’s morning.

Lucette Brown: Yeah,

Christa Innis: whatever

Lucette Brown: that was the best thing that I did too. Especially ’cause I had a saying, like, when you’re waking up to like, breastfeed them and everything and you’re just like, oh my god.

And you’re looking at the clock and you’re like, I have been up like six times already. And then it’s just like, you just need to like

Christa Innis: shut it

Lucette Brown: off. Like my husband, like, Hey man, how many times did she wake up? I’m like, dunno, don’t care.

Christa Innis: Yeah,

Lucette Brown: let’s move on.

Christa Innis: She’s good. The job was done. Check.

Lucette Brown: It is good.

I was a good cow last night.

Let’s move on.

Christa Innis: Yes,

Lucette Brown: let’s

When Sisterly Support Turns Competitive

Christa Innis: Hundred percent. All good cow. Oh my gosh. All right, let’s get into this week’s wedding story submission. As always, names are changed and here we go. Feel free to stop me at any point, or we’ll just react. All right. My older sister, Rachel, was married before me, but her marriage only lasted two months when she was, hold on.

I have to stop something really quick.

Lucette Brown: you not change the names?

Christa Innis: No. I’ll take, I’ll take this out, this started just like a story I just read, so I was like, I wanna make sure it’s not the exact thing. So

Lucette Brown: the same one.

Christa Innis: Wait, I swear I’ve read this. Okay. Hold on. Let me just pause this. I’m so sorry. And we are back. Okay.

Lucette Brown: Like nothing happened.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like nothing happened. What do we even, okay. Here is the blind reaction of the week. All the names have been changed. Okay. I 20 5:00 AM getting married to Dee 28 male. We’ve been together since 2022.

Started hanging out, spending the night more often than not. Moved in about nine months into the relationship and have been inseparable since. We don’t fight. We have so much fun together and we are genuinely in love. We both lived life as single people before, not as people who can’t be single, which I think is a huge red flag.

It just reassures us that we’re perfect for each other. Never wondering if the grass is greener or so to speak. My younger sister, C 20 F, is engaged to G 25 M. I actually went to school with G. He’s a nice guy. Was super nerdy in high school. Never went to parties, quiet but kind. And in most of my honors classes, when I found out they were dating, it felt weird.

I wasn’t sure how they met since they were not in school at the same time, and my sister wouldn’t tell us, which I thought was odd. She also wouldn’t let me follow him on Instagram. I sent a request and she told him to decline it, even though I’ve known him way longer than she has.

Once a month. Our big Italian family does Sunday dinner at my grandma’s house. When c and g started dating, he began coming too, but at every dinner or family function, they would key to themselves, whispering to each other the entire time while everyone else talked together. Super weird.

Lucette Brown: So is he married?

Christa Innis: I know. I’m like, what’s going on here? Is he hiding something from everybody?

Lucette Brown: Why can he come to family functions? But you can’t follow him on social media.

Christa Innis: Yeah. That’s very odd because I feel like anything that he is gonna show there would be the same. Right? Sure. Fast forward to 2024. My partner and I are thriving.

We went from renting to buying our first home. We’re both progressing in our careers. We adopted a dog. We’re building a beautiful life together. Now, my sister

Lucette Brown: I just love how this whole story, she’s like, so we’re just doing like amazing. And like everything about us is just fabulous, and we’re just really perfect people.

But my sister,

Christa Innis: there’s been a few stories that I’ve,

Lucette Brown: that in itself is a red flag.

Christa Innis: I know there’s,

Lucette Brown: I love the confidence. Love it. But you know,

Christa Innis: Yeah, I know. I always have to look at these stories. looking at both sides. Yeah, because I’ve gotten stories like this before where I’m like, well, I don’t actually see how your sister is being wrong.

Like, not saying this one necessarily, but

Lucette Brown: No,

Christa Innis: like, I’m like, wait, we need to look at this, but were different.

Lucette Brown: Yeah, no, I just, but I just love how Yeah. It’s just like, you know, like, we’re perfect, perfect for each other, we’re thriving, which like, they probably are, and like hats off to them, bravo.

But it’s just a very interesting way to like write a story and then be like, but my sister

Christa Innis: Yeah, but look at her.

Lucette Brown: She’s the problem.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Lucette Brown: Something wrong with that one.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. No, that’s so true because here we go.

Lucette Brown: Continue. Sorry.

Christa Innis: It says No, no, that’s a great observation. It says, now my sister and G’s situation, they still live together in G’S parents’ house.

So they horrible. They’ve been together, they’ve been together a few years now. they’re also engaged. Doesn’t say how long they’ve been together, but they live in his Parents’ house. as far as I’m being

Lucette Brown: financially responsible.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I’m like, as far as I’m concerned, 25 is still really young.

Like, I don’t know. I’m

Lucette Brown: pretty sure I was still living, like me and my now husband, were still living with my mom at 25.

Christa Innis: That’s, yeah. That’s so young. We were just barely getting back Bills at 20.

Lucette Brown: Yeah. So we were trying to save for a house.

Christa Innis: Yeah. so the girl that wrote this and her sister’s fiance are the same age, but the girl that wrote this, her partner is 28, so a few years older and her sister is younger.

Yeah. So I think it’s that like older sister thing.

Lucette Brown: Yeah.

Christa Innis: But like at the same time, like they’re not. her partner’s almost closer to 30 while she’s like early twenties. So I don’t know where I do feel. Yeah,

Lucette Brown: see maybe it’s younger sister and me that’s coming out and I’m like, hang on a second.

Christa Innis: Same. I’m the younger sister too, so I’m like,

Lucette Brown: alright sister,

Christa Innis: slow your rock.

Lucette Brown: Dial it back a not,

Christa Innis: it says, oh, she had an ad in his childhood bedroom. Okay. His two older siblings also live there with their significant others, which somehow normalizes it for them. Neither C nor G has ever lived on their own.

which again, I think they’re pretty young. Especially like the Sister’s 20. I don’t, that’s pretty young. My sister has never had a job. Okay. In high school. She was a total home buddy. She’d even have us bring her food to go instead of coming to family dinners. My dad, I feel like there’s a lot of tension going on here, so she’s gonna mm-hmm.

Everything that annoys her, which I get my dad would make her come sometimes just to get outta the house. She got her license at 18, which might be the most adult things she’s done after high school. She started taking prerequisite classes at a local college, but stopped halfway through the semester, even though my parents were paying for it.

Now she’s been in cosmetology school for a while and keeps saying she’s almost done since December. Okay. When I asked what she’d do after, she said she’d work in an upscale salon we’ve all gone to for years. I told her to have a backup plan since they usually only hire Paul Mitchell graduates, but she insisted I was wrong and said so very rudely.

She still has no income and just asked my parents for money. Which they always still give. Basically, she’s at a very immature stage of life and it’s hard to talk to her about anything. Adult now for the wedding drama. Here we go. Okay. That was all the, all the background to get us ready for this. Yeah.

Before either of us were engaged, she sent a video of her and G in his yard playing with their goat. In the video, G was wearing a black rubber ring on his left hand. I texted privately asking if they got married. She snapped. It’s not a wedding band. Stupid. Oh, okay. And that was that. Then at the next family dinner, I noticed she was wearing a purple gemstone ring on her left hand.

My dad and grandma asked if I knew anything. I told them about our text. They all thought it was strange. A few weeks later, after dating for a year, my sister sent a picture in our family group chat of the ring with a yellow gemstone saying she got engaged. I honestly thought it was a joke because not to be rude, the ring looked like one of those you get out of a 25 cent machine.

My dad confirmed it was real. Oh, am

Lucette Brown: Even if it was,

Christa Innis: I know, like I literally just saw a post today about this girl turned down an engagement because the ring was only $900 and this guy spent like, that’s a good chunk of money still. And she turned him down for that. And so it tried this whole debate of like.

What is acceptable? or would you say, go to this and I’m just like, if you wanna be with this person and they’re spending money on you, why does, I

Lucette Brown: couldn’t care if it was a silver with a cubic zirconia. Like,

Christa Innis: yeah, why does that matter? Does that

Lucette Brown: matter?

Christa Innis: I don’t know. I don’t get that whole thing.

that like old fashioned, I dunno if people still do this when it’s like, it should cost six months of rent, have you before, or six months of their salary or something.

Lucette Brown: I do that these days, but people can’t even afford to put food on the tables alone. Six months to buy a ring.

Christa Innis: I wouldn’t want my partner to spend that money, be like, we could use that for so many. I could be

Lucette Brown: angry

Christa Innis: things. Yeah.

Lucette Brown: Like, do you know what we could have done with that money?

Christa Innis: I would legitimately be mad.

Lucette Brown: Yes. I’d be like, you can return that now. let’s go get something from, the $2 shop.

Christa Innis: Yes. And especially like you said too, like even if it was a 25 cents.

vending machine, they live, they’re saving money. They’re living at his parents’ house right now. Maybe they don’t have the funds.

Lucette Brown: She doesn’t have a job.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Lucette Brown: Like

Christa Innis: so

Lucette Brown: that’s a bit responsible.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh, here we go. I’ll admit it. I was annoyed. I felt like I deserved to be engaged more. Not in a body way, but in a, of course

Lucette Brown: not,

Christa Innis: but because Dee and I were so established while she seemed nowhere near ready

Lucette Brown: and thriving.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yeah. This is like a tale as old as time. I hate to say it like that, and I’m not trying to come down hard on this person, but like, it’s so hard to see outside the bubble and it stems from like jealousy of like, well, why is he proposing her first when we’re more established? But like, checking the boxes does not mean you’re more ready or less ready than them.

It’s

Lucette Brown: everyone has different boxes to check.

Christa Innis: Exactly. Like,

Lucette Brown: you know, I’ve got so many of my friends who will never get married ’cause it’s just not what they wanna do.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Lucette Brown: some of them don’t wanna have kids. Some of them will never buy a house.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Lucette Brown: Ish there. Right?

Christa Innis: Yeah. And I feel like it’s all completely separate.

It’s not like, yeah, all right, you bought a house so now you can have a baby. so now you this and I can do that. It’s like, no. Like they’re all separate decisions and every relationship is different how they wanna do it. Yeah. So if you have an annoyance with it, that’s between you and your partner to kind of figure out, not your sister.

Yeah.

Lucette Brown: And you know what she can always propose as well.

Christa Innis: Exactly. it’s 2025.

Lucette Brown: It’s 2025. if you wanna be engaged that badly. Wow.

Christa Innis: Take matters. Falls

Lucette Brown: in your court too.

Christa Innis: Yeah, exactly. So she said, still, she’s my sister and I wanted to be supportive. I texted her privately to say congratulations, and she responded nicely.

Sorry, this is long. we’re almost there. Two weeks later, Dee surprise me with a proposal on my birthday. I of course said yes and was thrilled. We called family and friends. I texted my sister a picture of my ring. A real diamond. Four and a half carrots. Hers is Mo. Oh, this reads so mean. Hers is mo, I can’t say the word Mo.

Mo. Oh,

Lucette Brown: mo. Moen

Christa Innis: Moen.

Lucette Brown: Moist

Christa Innis: Moen.

Lucette Brown: I know what you mean.

Christa Innis: I know what Mo. I know what Mo Ignite. Oh my gosh. It’s making me so mad. I can’t say it. Yeah. Ignite from Etsy though. She claims diamonds are tacky. There is nothing. Well, to be about a MOIs Aite ring from Etsy.

Lucette Brown: I was gonna say, I actually, I think there was like a light blue moise and I, which, and I was obsessed with this ring.

Loved it. Like that was actually my preferred stone. Mm-hmm. And the only reason why, when my husband was like designing the ring and stuff, he didn’t go with that was because it’s really soft and he knows how clumsy I am and I would’ve just ruined it. ’cause my rings never come off.

Christa Innis: Okay.

Lucette Brown: yeah, he knew, so he got like one of the sturdiest, really sturdy stones. but yeah, I was like, oh, like I like it. But I really like the blue one that I said, you know, the blue one Yeah. To be ungrateful. Yeah. Um, and then yeah, he was like, oh no, they’re really soft.

But yeah, it’s a beautiful gem.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I have to say, it’s funny ’cause like when we went on our honeymoon, I got a. $25 from Amazon. Like, it was like cubic zirconia because I didn’t wanna bring my real ring ’cause we were gonna be swimming and stuff, you know, we’ll get replacement ones. I got so many compliments on that ring, it was $25.

And I was like, okay. I just feel like it’s about what makes you feel good and who cares if they hundred percent quote unquote fake. Who cares? It’s what looks good for you? she didn’t reply until the next day with a single word. Congrats. That hurt. Especially after how supportive I’ve been sending one text.

Happy Bear. Making a negative comment is not really supportive.

Lucette Brown: Yeah. Have you been supportive?

Christa Innis: Yeah. And the fact, I don’t know, it just reads so like, I’m better than you because I have a full a

Lucette Brown: hundred percent

Christa Innis: spirit real diamond.

Lucette Brown: Yeah. But even like, when the whole story started. And you know, she was like, like, we’re perfect for each other.

We’re thriving, we’re this, we’re that. And it’s just like, okay.

Christa Innis: Yeah. When it sounds like she doesn’t really know,

Lucette Brown: are you good people?

Christa Innis: Yeah. Because

Lucette Brown: really that’s all that really matters.

Christa Innis: And to me, like it just sounds like she doesn’t really know her sister and her fiance’s relationship. Right. And it’s like,

Lucette Brown: yeah,

Christa Innis: maybe they’re just private people.

Like I know a lot of couples like that that just keep to themselves, and maybe that’s what it is. Maybe there is something more we don’t know, but like, it sounds like she doesn’t really know them, so they could be perfect for each other,

Lucette Brown: just be like, what? They’re 25? Yeah. Okay, cool. Some people don’t like know what they wanna do or like fully come into themselves until even like some people are like late thirties, early forties.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Lucette Brown: Like,

Christa Innis: yeah.

Lucette Brown: Let ’em be.

Christa Innis: Yeah. So she says, we chose totally different wedding routes. She’s doing a fully traditional wedding and we’re eloping in Vegas, which fits us perfectly. So far, I’ve had two wedding events, one being our engagement party at a brewery in our hometown. She came to that with her fiance and it was fine.

She had two dress appointments and one bridesmaid dress appointment, all of which I’ve driven three hours away to attend despite my crazy schedule as a dance teacher, competition judge, and convention, convention, faculty member constantly flying around. When I finally made my own dress appointment between her events, she texted that she couldn’t come because she had a veil appointment.

I asked what it meant. She said she was picking up her veil. The store was only 30 minutes from me, so I asked if she could come before or after. She said no. She also had to make a payment for her venue and said it was too much driving. This just sounds like rival sisters. Yeah, and I

Lucette Brown: feel

Christa Innis: like the fact that they’re engaged at the same time is just.

A problem in general.

Lucette Brown: This is, again, this is like the toxicity that it’s just like, okay, if you guys don’t like each other, just

Christa Innis: don’t

Lucette Brown: fall. Call it. Call it what it is. your sisters, at the end of the day, you don’t have to be best friends.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I hate to say it this way, but I don’t exactly blame the younger sister for saying no.

‘ cause she probably feels the toxicity from this other sister. And she’s like, I wanna be in my wedded bliss right now. Yeah.

Lucette Brown: I wanna be in my bubble.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Because think about it this way, if they, if they weren’t sisters, and let’s say this was a toxic friend,

Lucette Brown: you wouldn’t want, yeah. And I think that’s like, that’s the biggest thing, isn’t it?

Is that so many people are like, oh, but they’re my sister. Oh. But they’re, you know, so and so. And it’s like, yeah, but a toxic person is still a toxic person.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Lucette Brown: And if they make you feel small and they don’t make you feel good.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah, and obviously we’re reading between the lines. We don’t know either, but just seems very like we’re so much better.

And then they kind of suck. They’re awkward, they’re weird.

That’s the way I’m reading.

Lucette Brown: Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: maybe I’m reading it wrong. And you can

Lucette Brown: Well, it’s also how it’s been written, right? Like you can only read the words that are there.

Christa Innis: True.

Lucette Brown: So

Christa Innis: yeah, I reminded her that I’ve been driving twice that to support her, but she snapped.

I’m getting married too. At that point. I told her not to worry about it. I didn’t want her energy At my appointment. Later, my mom found out and told my sister it was messed up not to go, which made my sister mad at me again for telling my mom. Two days later, my sister texted saying her venue rescheduled her payment so she could come if I still wanted her to.

I didn’t reply and she didn’t come. That hurt even more because I didn’t, but she

Lucette Brown: didn’t reply.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I’m like, what?

Lucette Brown: It’s like they’re both playing the same game and it’s like

Christa Innis: mm-hmm.

Lucette Brown: No one’s gonna win in this scenario.

Christa Innis: No.

Lucette Brown: Like,

Christa Innis: you need like,

Lucette Brown: like you’re both

Christa Innis: a four.

Lucette Brown: I’d say they’re both at fault. Like they’re both, you know, without kind of knowing anything about it.

But yeah, I would just be like, you both. Yeah.

Christa Innis: they’re off. They need like the full, like reset because it’s that thing where it’s like they both wanna be the victim. They both wanna be upset. Like, we’ve all been there, it’s

Lucette Brown: both their wedding, they’re in their limelight and it’s like, well, nothing’s gonna get accomplished while you both think that way.

Christa Innis: Yeah, 100%. So she said that her even more because I knew the reschedule story was a lie. No venue suddenly books a wedding two weeks out at the appointment. My mom, who decided to pay for my dress after realizing how much she was spending on my sister mentioned to her on the phone that I found my dress.

My sister never texted, called or asked to see a photo, nothing. The following weekend was her bridesmaid dress appointment. I tried on two dresses that I loved and she said she loved them too. Then suddenly she changed her mind and asked me to try on what I can only describe as a fat girl dress, what, for lack of a better term, this can, that’s problematic.

Be a real story.

Lucette Brown: I’m trying to even like, what the hell is a fat girl dress?

Christa Innis: This is what she is calling it. She goes, I’m very fit and the dress look awful. So she’s making like a fat phobic comment.

Lucette Brown: Okay.

Christa Innis: I don’t typically, there’s been few that like, someone sends me a story and I’m like, Ooh, you’re not the. Okay.

Lucette Brown: Doesn’t sound like a very nice person.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I don’t like that yet. She suddenly claimed it was her favorite. It felt like she was trying to get a rise out of me. I told her, honestly, I didn’t like it and said, if you want it that badly, you can buy it, but I’m not paying for it.

She called me a bitch, but honestly I didn’t feel bad. She’s been acting cold since my engagement and I was over it.

Lucette Brown: She, oh, they both need to get out of each other’s bridal parties and just call it a day.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Just be guests at each other’s weddings. Oh my gosh. She eventually picked a different dress.

Not as nice as the first two, but acceptable. So I bought it and left without even saying goodbye. She still didn’t congratulate me or ask about my dress. Oh. And she’s not making me her maid of honor. Well, why would she? I

Lucette Brown: wanna make my ma of honor.

Christa Innis: I, yeah. In what world should you be? Her maid of honor.

Lucette Brown: Nice.

Christa Innis: I am like, like we need to look out family man myself a little bit and be like, okay, if I weren’t her sister and I was acting this way, or talking about her this way or treating her this way. would that be normal?

Lucette Brown: Like, they’re both like, I dunno, like she’s in the wrong and it sounds like her sister’s also in the wrong, like they just both need to just Yeah.

But you

Christa Innis: like hash it all out. And it’s hard because we’re saying, it’s like such an intense time in their life. Yeah. But there’s a lot to do, a lot going on. They’re both the brides, they already have this like, competition, so it’s like, until they really hash it out, it’s gonna be like that the whole time.

I feel like, yeah, it’s gonna be,

Lucette Brown: and it’ll be like, and this is coming from like, you know, from personal experience. Like, I remember I had someone in my bridal party who I was like, no, like I have to have them in my bridal party. Like they should be in my bridal party. And they were just problematic from the get go really.

And I look back and I’m like, I should have just. it would’ve been a blow up then, but I reckon the rest of it would’ve been fine. Rather than like, just constant little things to like the big blowout, essentially at the wedding. just get rid of it now.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Snippet while it’s like, while it’s happening. Yeah.

Lucette Brown: Yeah.

Christa Innis: I feel like we always wanna, like, especially as people pleasers or like, we wanna like, be like, no, I still have hope. I think things are making plus like, it’s

Lucette Brown: that I think you have this, this, you know, idea and you’re like, no, it’ll be fine. Or like, they’ll come around like, they’ll be there for me on the wedding day and it’s like, no.

No.

Christa Innis: Yeah,

Lucette Brown: just cut it now.

Christa Innis: Yeah. If

Lucette Brown: they can. It’s coming from personal, personal experience. Cut it now.

Christa Innis: Yeah. If they can’t handle watching you rise or celebrating you in certain, they’re

Lucette Brown: just gonna get worse at the wedding.

Christa Innis: Not gonna happen at the wedding. It’s just not gonna happen.

Lucette Brown: Trust me.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh no, I feel like you’ve got a lot of stories about that.

Lucette Brown: oh yeah. But no, this, this, it’s, Hmm. That’s, uh, that’s something that I,

Christa Innis: that’s after we record, after the recording’s off. so she said, okay. So her heard that she’s not the maid of honor. She’s having three bridesmaids and no maid of honor to keep it equal. that makes sense. It made she made it very clear.

I’m not picking you over my friends, but I’m also not picking my friends or, yeah. No one’s picking. I’m not picking anybody over anybody. Yeah. I don’t think you have to have your sister as your maid of honor. I, I have one sister, I, she was not my maid of honor, she was a bridesmaid. I’m much closer with my best friend.

Same for my husband. He had his brother in the wedding, but he was not his best man. And

Lucette Brown: yeah, the same with my husband.

Christa Innis: Yeah. No one took it personally and it’s fine.

Lucette Brown: move on.

Christa Innis: Yeah. No rule. for mine, I asked if she wanted the role and she said no. So I asked my best friend who I’m honestly closer with anyway, so there you go.

Lucette Brown: Yeah.

Christa Innis: She also won’t be at my Vegas wedding since she’s not 21 and doesn’t have the money to go. So not only that,

Lucette Brown: okay, well, yeah,

yeah, like why would you pick a Vegas wedding if, you know she can’t come anyway? Like,

Christa Innis: yeah. Which I guess I’ve never thought about that before.

I would think a Vegas wedding. As long as it’s not, they’re not drinking. Wouldn’t they be able to go, I guess I’ve never looked into that. Never been to a Vegas wedding.

Lucette Brown: I don’t know. ’cause the laws in Australia is, once you’re 18 you can drink and drive.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Lucette Brown: You can do everything at 18. So

Christa Innis: I know the United States is weird about all that.

It’s like you can do like

Lucette Brown: 16, 21,

Christa Innis: 21. Yeah.

Lucette Brown: Find you, one could also argue that. Yeah, cool. Asia 18, here’s your car keys and here’s a beer. Have fun.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Lucette Brown: Like it’s also problematic.

Christa Innis: Yeah. All at once, but all

Lucette Brown: at

Christa Innis: once. I think they’re so strict. I mean, I get on a tangent about this. I feel like they’re so strict about alcohol here.

I mean, it’s different per state. Like where I’m at. I’m trying to think what it’s, if you’re with a parent, you can drink at a, like, you can order a drink at a bar if you’re with a parent under 18. It’s very weird. But there’s like that little gray area though. If you’re 18 to 21, you can’t because you’re a legal adult, but you’re not old enough to drink.

Lucette Brown: To drink. Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: So it doesn’t make sense.

Lucette Brown: Yeah. So that would be weird,

Christa Innis: but there’s all this like hype around drinking, so that’s why I think kids have like more issues with it because like they can drive at 16 and then they, like thisthing is over their head of like, Ooh, you can drink when you’re 21.

So they try to like, you know, sneak it on, all that stuff. But that’s a whole,

Lucette Brown: I feel like all 16 year olds are sneaking in alcohol.

Christa Innis: True. Yeah.

Lucette Brown: No matter the country.

Christa Innis: That’s probably right. Alright, so she ends it with, am I wrong for feeling hurt and upset? I’m honestly just leaving it alone and doing the bare minimum until she figures things out.

If she ever does,

Lucette Brown: I’m upset. I think you both just need to call it quits and just move on.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I think like if you,

Lucette Brown: I think either one of you are happy with the either like I think they’re both, yeah, I think they’re both like, oh, but she kiss’s my sister. It’s like, yeah, just make ’em your guest.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Lucette Brown: Like.

Christa Innis: It sounds like it’s so far gone. I don’t wanna say it’s far gone where they can’t fix it, but I feel like there’s a lot of like pent up anger. So if it’s like they both decide that they want to move forward, they need to hash it all out and just let everything else go.

Lucette Brown: Yeah.

Christa Innis: I don’t think either side, like you said, I don’t think either side’s innocent.

I think they both have like some toxicity. I don’t know if they grew up with like the competitive vibe, but that’s what I’m getting. just her phone though, the tone of how she talks about her sister is so degrading. Ah,

Lucette Brown: I was put off from the very get go.

I don’t like where this is going.

Christa Innis: Right. Yeah. So it’s like, I wouldn’t say like, you’re wrong for feeling hurt. Anyone can feel hurt or

Lucette Brown: no. And your feelings are your feelings and your feelings are always valid. but I wouldn’t say that she’s in the right and the other sister’s in the wrong. I would say that they’re both probably in the wrong.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I would say your sister has every right to feel upset too, and I feel like you guys need to either figure it out or just keep distance for a bit. Yeah. and just remember she’s your little sister. I mean, she’s five years younger than you. be more supportive, it sounds like.

Yeah. Not very supportive. No. and you might listen to this back and be like, well, you don’t know the whole story. Tell us more. I’ll read it. I’ll try my best. But from this, it just sounds There’s like a lack of support maybe from both sides. And I feel like when you’re too far into it of just being competitive, then nothing can really

Lucette Brown: Yeah.

Christa Innis: You’re blind.

Lucette Brown: Oh yeah. I know. I I think if yeah, you’re that, that unhappy with someone, either hash it out because you really care about the relationship and make it work or don’t, and then see if maybe time heals it.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Lucette Brown: Because then neither one of them are gonna be happy if they keep doing what they’re doing.

Christa Innis: Yeah. 100%. Yeah. And you don’t wanna hold onto that resentment on your wedding day, either of them. So I feel like either need to figure it out before and then just really truly be supportive of them on their wedding day. And if you feel like you can’t be supportive, then step down from your role.

Lucette Brown: Yeah.

Thanks for coming to our TED Talk.

Wedding Speech Fails and Social Media Chaos

Christa Innis: Yes, thank you. Alright, well that was a wild story. Change of events. all right. Well. I like to end with a couple of confessions that people send me and then we will be on our way. So these are about wedding speeches. So this one says, best man was tanked and roasted the groom for 15 minutes for sucking at basketball in seventh grade.

He couldn’t get to the point,

Lucette Brown: why would you put that in a speech?

Christa Innis: Yeah, that sounds like a weird like dig at the girl.

Lucette Brown: Yeah.

Christa Innis: oh my gosh.

Lucette Brown: It just seems like a weird thing to bring up at someone’s wedding.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I think person sometimes when people don’t know what else to say, they just think of like the most random story about the person.

yeah.

Lucette Brown: So we have had some shocking,

Christa Innis: this last one says, maid of honor said it was weird, she wasn’t there. Marrying the best man, awkward post breakup. In her speech

Lucette Brown: again. Why would you bring this up at their wedding?

Christa Innis: Yeah. Not the time or the place to turn it around and think it about you.

Lucette Brown: everyone always does though.

Not everyone, but people do. Baffles me like the day’s not about you.

Christa Innis: No. My gosh. That’s like my nightmare. All right, well thank you so much for coming on and thank you for dealing with my mom brain of like scheduling and all that and being very flexible.

Lucette Brown: Thanks for dealing with mine with responding.

Christa Innis: No, either way, I’m, glad it worked out and I’m, we gotta chat for a bit.

Lucette Brown: we got there in the end.

Christa Innis: Yeah. So again, where can everybody follow you, find your content and anything exciting you’re working on?

Lucette Brown: so on TikTok is events and affairs. YouTube is events and affairs, and I’ve just created a Facebook because everyone kept saying that my content was being shared on there anyway.

so I was like, well, I might as well share my own content.

So I’ve just created a Facebook too, which is events and affairs.

Christa Innis: Oh, good. Awesome. get that verified because there’s a lot of people out there on Facebook that like to steal and,

Lucette Brown: mm.

Christa Innis: It’s creepy. ‘ cause I’m like, that’s one thing I never expected about making content is that people would pretend to be you and Yeah.

Take your profile picture and like

Lucette Brown: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Someone messaged.

Lucette Brown: It’s weird.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And I don’t like,

Lucette Brown: and then like, I get all these like tags in like TikTok too, and like I’m blocked, but they’re pretending to be me. And like one time on TikTok, I literally like, ’cause I had all of these followers and it was all my content and they were literally pretending to be me and I kept trying to like report them.

And then I just put up like a video saying, Hey guys, like just FYI. This page isn’t me. It’s not me.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Lucette Brown: I was the one that got flagged.

Christa Innis: Are you serious?

Lucette Brown: I got a strike on my account. I’m like, but I’m me. I’m me. Like, I’m me.

No it for harassment. I’m like, all I said was that. This isn’t like, literally I was, Hey guys, this isn’t me. this is a fake account. That’s if you’re following this one, it’s the wrong one. And I got a strike.

Christa Innis: That is wild. That

Lucette Brown: it’s like

Christa Innis: I made a,

Lucette Brown: so I’ve learned my lesson. Just never do it again.

Christa Innis: Just, yeah, I, I know. It’s like you just can’t even say anything because all you can do is just say like, hi, like this is my account. Like showing it. Yeah. Because I did the same thing. I just changed like my names on Facebook and other platforms and I was like, Hey guys, by the way, this is my only Facebook page.

I share this stuff. Someone reported an old work page I had, so I worked for a mommy and baby company and with that I had like a business page ’cause I would share like videos in there.

Lucette Brown: Mm.

Christa Innis: We reported that and removed the page, so I got notification. They’re like, oh, you’re Krista, MK, b page is gone.

I was like, that doesn’t even share wedding stuff. So I was someone like, oh,

Lucette Brown: okay.

Christa Innis: So I was like, okay guys, just so you know, like. Only report if they’re like pretending to be me and sharing wedding videos. don’t just,

Lucette Brown: yeah, because that, that actually was me.

Christa Innis: That was actually my page. I mean, it was an old job, so it doesn’t really matter, but I was just like, I get it.

You were trying to be like helpful, but it’s, well,

Lucette Brown: yeah.

Christa Innis: Well, awesome.

Lucette Brown: So yes.

Christa Innis: Well thank you so much for coming on and

Lucette Brown: Oh, thanks for having me.

Christa Innis: That was a lot of fun.

Lucette Brown: Thanks.

by Christa Innis

Venmo Requests, Demanding In-Laws & A Bride’s Outrageous Ask

What’s worse: your dad bailing on your wedding and then sending you a Venmo request for the deposit, or your mother-in-law going on vacation with his ex?

Yeah… welcome to this week’s chaos. I’m kicking things off with a brand new game: red flag vs. green flag wedding edition. Spoiler alert, locking up guest phones? HARD no. Then I’m diving headfirst into one of the messiest three-wedding family sagas you’ve ever heard. We’re talking divorces, mistresses, and family photos that should’ve come with a seating chart and a referee.

And of course, I wrap it up with your confessions, the kind that remind us all that where there’s a wedding, there’s always, always drama.

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month!

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

Get the book!

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

01:22 Wedding 911 Situations

03:22 Dress Drama and Advice

05:26 Red Flag vs Green Flag: Wedding Edition

10:49 Wild Wedding Stories

16:57 Dress Shopping Drama

19:11 Mother-in-Law’s Bridal Shower Antics

20:44 Wedding Day Chaos

23:53 Three Weddings, One Family Drama

30:11 Confessions from Instagram

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

Red Flag vs. Green Flag – We rapid-fire hot takes on wedding behaviors, from cash bars to late-night Taco Bell.
The Phone Lock-Up Debate – Why banning phones is fine, but locking them away is a serious overstep.
Dad’s Venmo Request – A father skips his daughter’s wedding… then asks for the venue money back. Seriously.
Three Weddings, Endless Chaos – One family, three ceremonies, and a whole lot of awkward divisions.
Mistress to Missus – The audacity of a dad marrying the woman he cheated with and expecting everyone to play along.
The Peacekeeper Sister – Navigating sibling loyalties when parents’ drama overshadows the big day.
Confessions Corner – Listeners spill about future in-laws inviting exes, surprise proposals, and engagement slip-ups.
Storytelling Skits – Why I am ready to turn messy dad drama into my next viral skit.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“Sometimes you don’t need a seating chart—you need a family tree just to keep up.” – Christa Innis
“It’s not my favorite flag, but it’s not red either. Maybe it’s beige?” – Christa Innis
“You skipped the wedding and then sent a Venmo request? Sir, be serious.” – Christa Innis
“Locking up phones at a wedding? No. I need to know if my kid is still alive.” – Christa Innis
“Whoever invented late-night wedding snacks deserves a Nobel Prize.” – Christa Innis

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of, Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host Christa, or if you can see me right now, Jules, if you can’t see me, I am wearing the outfit from the I don’t crew. the character Jewels. So that’s the problem sometimes with, between these skits is then I associate these shirts with different characters and.

I like, every time I like pick it up, I’m like, oh, that’s that one character from that skit. That’s how I feel about the Ferris and Sloan shirt. Like I’ve barely worn it outside of that skit now, because I feel like if I wear it somewhere, it feels like I’m, I don’t know, secretly like promoting the book and I’m not trying to, it’s funny how I just connect it anyways.

What a way to start the episode. kind of just jump in right in like that. Welcome back for another episode of some crazy stories that we are gonna get into in just a minute. Try to switch things up because I like to keep things interesting. We’re gonna start off this week with we’re gonna call them wedding 9 1 1 Situations that people have sent me as a new segment.

And, from time to time people send me, on social media some things they’re going through. Maybe they’re in a wedding, maybe it’s a friend situation. And I’m no expert, but I’m just gonna give you my own personal advice, from the hot seat here, I guess. So if you wanna send me any of your own wedding 9 1 1, you can email me at hello@christainnis.com and use the subject line wedding 9 1 1.

So let’s dive into these.

Wedding 911: Honeymoon Bills & Bridesmaid Dress Drama

This first one says, “My bride friend just announced she wants the bridal party to chip in to cover her honeymoon. What? As a gift on top of dresses, travel, and the shower. This feels like too much. I just wanna be supportive, but I also don’t wanna go broke.” Yeah, that’s pretty, it’s pretty normal.

” How do I set a boundary without causing a fallout?” Okay. I feel like we’ve talked about this a lot of times before on the podcast. If a friend is asking you to do too much, like having you pay for the honeymoon is not a normal thing for a bridesmaid. You should not have to pay anything for the wedding.

Yes. You know, if you wanna go to a bachelorette party, sure. Depending on the person. Sometimes the dress you’ll pay for shoes. But those should be communicated ahead of time. The honeymoon you are not even a part of this is the new bride in groom. This is their trip to handle and take care of. If they can’t afford it, they shouldn’t go on one.

Now if they do one of those like honeymoon funds and you wanna chip in on that, sure. If you give ’em a gift of the wedding and they use part of that, sure. But it should not be a standard. It should not be like you have to as a bridesmaid, pay for this if she doesn’t understand and. She tells you like, this is what you have to do.

I’d say, okay, well I’m gonna set this one out and if she says, don’t come to my wedding, then you say, all right, well we had a good run. Again, it’s always easier from the outside, but that is a ridiculous request for someone to have.

Okay. Next. Dress drama. “The bride picked bridesmaid, a bridesmaid dress color that looks terrible on me. It completely washes me out. I asked if I could wear the same dress in a slightly different shade, but she said no, because she wants perfectly matching pictures. Do I just suck it up for one day or is it fair to push back?” Okay. It’s gonna ultimately depend on your relationship and how important this person is to you? Me, personally, I would just suck it up. I’ve worn so many dresses that wash me out. I’m a very pale person. I don’t do spray tan. I don’t do tanning anymore. So I’m pale. I’ve had to wear dresses that were like. Really, really light pink. I’ve had to wear dresses that were like a top and they end up looking, they look fine.

Like once you get your hair and makeup done, it works. It’s fine. I would never tell a bride to pick a different bridesmaid dress. That’s me personally. if you’re not super close, maybe just be like, this isn’t for me. But if you agreed to be in their wedding because you care about them and they care about you. I’d say just suck it up for a day. If you’re gonna match all the other girls, it’s gonna look fine. it’ll be great. I think dress color is one thing where like I’d be like, suck it up. If it’s a style, maybe that makes you uncomfortable, maybe it’s like a backless dress or really low cutting or form fitting, and you’re like, I don’t like that for my body, then that’s something I think I could push back a little more on and be like, “Hey, I’m not comfortable in that

dress.” A color? I don’t know. Tell me what you guys think, but for me, I wouldn’t push back.

Okay. Like I said, we’re gonna start doing these from time to time, so if you have a dilemma or something that you want addressed, email me. hello@kristaennis.com and use the subject line wedding 9 1 1. You can also use my same Google form and just select, there’s a different option there. You can, filter it through. \

I do get dms on social media. It’s just like, it’s so hard because they’re not filtered through. So if I read it and I’m like, it’s a busy day and I don’t forget to unmark it or mark it up, then I lose the story and then it’s gone. I’ll be like, oh my gosh. Someone sent me a really good story and I just completely forget. So if I see one in there, I’ll send you guys the link and I’ll be like, “Hey, this is a great story. Can you just send it to me in the Google form?”

Red Flag or Green Flag? The Wedding Edition

Okay. Next up, this next segment is going to be called. Red flag versus green flag wedding edition. So we’ve been doing the hot takes lately on the rapid fire. So this is like a new kind of style of that.

“Bride asked bridesmaids to dye their hair for the wedding.” That’s a red flag. No, we don’t need to do that. This is quick, quick, quick, quick.

“Mother-in-law insists on wearing white because it’s her son’s day too.” No red flag. “Couple charges? Yes. For drinks at a cash bar?” Well, a cash bar is charge. So are we just saying, is it cash bar, red flag? I wouldn’t say that’s a red flag. It’s not my favorite flag, but I wouldn’t say it’s red. It’s not a green flag though.

Okay. “A groom’s friend proposes during the reception.” Red flag.

“Couple doesn’t allow plus ones unless you’re engaged or married.” I get it, but I’m gonna lean more towards red flag because an engagement or marriage does not determine the relationship. I could hear, I could see maybe like if you’re like long-term relationships, you’ve been together over a year. But you could be together for a week and get engaged. So I just, I’m not someone that’s like, engagement means they’re like solid. I mean, marriage doesn’t always mean that either. So yeah, I would say that’s a red flag.

“Bridesmaid drops out a week before the wedding because of cost that’s a green flag I think. I don’t know if it’s be, should be a green or a red flag. It’s not a red flag because if she cannot afford something, like maybe just too many things are adding up. She felt empowered enough or strong enough to be able to drop out. I think that’s a green flag. Hopefully it doesn’t affect the bride and they’re just, they can move on past it and they’re okay. but. I wouldn’t say that’s a red flag at all. If someone came to me and they’re like, I can’t afford to be in your wedding, I would be like, what can I do to keep you in the wedding? Let’s like nix this. How can I help with this? I just want you to be a part of it. I don’t care about the cost.

“Couple has a phone free ceremony and locks up guest phones.” That’s a red flag. Phone free ceremony. Yes, absolutely. Put the phones away. They have professional photographers. Just don’t have it out. Please, listen. But locking up a guest phone is a red flag because here’s the thing, as a mom, and just in case of emergency, I feel like people should be able to have their phones on them. That just sounds to me like you don’t trust someone that’s coming to your wedding you are like, we’re locking up everybody’s phone. Like, no, let’s not do that.

” Parents of the bride invite extra guests without telling the couple.” Red flag.

” Best man roasts the bride in his speech.” Red flag, unless he’s equally roasting. Yeah, that’s a red flag. And you’re like, good friends.

“Couple serves fast food like Taco Bell or Chick-fil-A as a late night snack.” That’s a green flag. I love when I’m at a wedding and they have a late night snack and it’s like Wendy’s or Pizza or Taco Bell. I went to one one time and it was in this really cool, like old, I don’t even remember what it was, not a museum. I just remember the structure was so cool. Like there was up the stairs and then like the different like rooms or the different, I’m describing this so poorly. It was in Ohio. The different rooms were like had different things in it. So like one room would have a late night snack, one would have dancing, then there was dancing downstairs. It was just like a cool old building. And I remember them mentioning a late night snack and I kept trying to find where it was and I ended up missing it. And I was like, what was the late night snack? And they were like, it was curly fries and like Wendy’s frosties. And I was like, oh, that sounds amazing. Right now I’m all for late snack. Whoever came up with it and started doing that. Thank you. I remember the first wedding I was at that had one. I was like, what? What’s happening right now? What are, why are we getting late night food? Okay. I don’t always finish my dinner. Like, it depends on what’s going on, but like, there’s so much going on that day, so I just get hungry later on. So late night snacks good.

One more thing I forgot to mention earlier. If you guys didn’t know, I now post these all on YouTube and I know like I’m not one to sit and watch a full video on YouTube that’s like, over. 10 minutes. But it’s a great place to go for discussion. So if I ever like, bring something up in the conversation here, or you wanna give some feedback on something, or you have a question about something or you wanna like add more to the discussion, please go to YouTube and comment, because I feel like there’s so many times when I’m listening to podcasts that I’m like, where can I like say my thoughts on the matter? And like talk to other people about it. So please do that. I love seeing the discourse. I pop in the comments all the time to see what’s going on, and I love seeing what you guys have to say.

The Mother-in-Law Who Made the Wedding All About Herself

All right, guys, we’ve got two stories today, so let’s get into them before I able too much, because these are wild. Okay. Story #1.

“My fiance and I had been together for four years when he proposed. Since my dad passed away, he moved in with me less than a year into our relationship. So we were serious about building a life together from the start. My relationship with his mom was okay. At first, we’re just different people. Personality wise, she’s loud and extroverted, and I’m more introverted and struggle with loud environments. About a year before he proposed, she kept making more passive aggressive comments towards me. Ooh, okay. I brought this up to my fiance and when things got worse, he asked her about it. Her only explanation was that I was rude because I looked at my phone while playing a 1980s Trivial Pursuit game. She insisted we play. Wait, what? She got mad ’cause you looked at your phone. She forced me to join so the teams would be even I hadn’t wanted to play. So during the long turns, I scrolled social media and did some online shopping.”

Oh my gosh. So she considers that rude. That’s like a generational thing too, though. Like the judgment for being on the phone. I know it’s hard sometimes, like you pick up your phone, you wanna like scroll social media, different generations see that as rude. I personally don’t like when I’m somewhere with someone and they start picking up their phone. I’m like, excuse me, I’ll, I’ll keep talking when you’re done. Like, it’s kind of awkward, but if there’s a big group of people and you just pick up your phone here and there and look at it. Sure. Again, I’m not criticizing this person. I’m just saying personally, if I was playing and I kept noticing someone look at their phone, I’d be like, am I boring you?

“Most of her comments revolved around me making him do things that we already had mutually agreed on. At first, I just ignored it. When he proposed, we were so excited to start planning because of my dad’s passing, I had some inheritance money. We decided, I used part of it for the wedding, so it’d feel like my dad was helping pay and we cover the rest ourselves. We never asked anyone for money, nor did we share this detail with our families. We toured a local event center. With my mom and his parents. The venue handled tables, chairs, linens, food, and bartending, a perfect low stress package. We signed the contract and put down a deposit.” I love, lemme just say, I love when it like a venue is like, we’re gonna do this, this, this, and this. You don’t have to like go to a hundred different vendors. “ A few weeks later, my fiance came home after visiting his parents. His mom had told him, just so you know, we’re not putting any money down for the wedding, so don’t expect us to.“

Don’t you love that, like aggressive, like coming at you? Like I have seen this happen so many times in these stories, where people just like go after somebody. And it’s wild because it’s like. They’re thinking, they’re expecting them to give them money and it’s like they haven’t said one thing about that.

“He explained that we’re paying for everything ourselves and had never asked them for anything. His dad chimed in saying they just wanted him to be aware. Weird, but we shrugged it off. Okay. I later found a bridal expo and thought it would be a great chance to explore vendors. Since my maid of honor lived outta state, I invited my mom and my two other bridesmaids, my fiance and his mom to help her feel included.” See, this is where I’m always like. I feel bad for these brides ’cause I get it. That’s gotta be really uncomfortable. ’cause you’re like, I want her to feel included. This is a special time. But if she’s already making weird comments to you and about the wedding, I don’t have high hopes for her coming to your dress shopping, that’s all. Okay.

“We drove into cars, my bridesmaids road with my mom. I went with my fiance and his mom.” Wait. Oh, this is a bridal expo. Okay, got it. I was, I don’t know why I was thinking it was like a dress fitting. Okay. ” On the way she started grilling him about who he planned to invite from his side. When he mentioned a cousin he recently connected with, she snapped. You can’t invite him. Take him off the list. I told my fiance he should be able to fight who he wants. But to appease his mom, he agreed to leave the cousin out.” I, they already said straight up, they’re not helping with anything. They’re not paying for anything, so they cannot dictate who you’re inviting to the wedding. And if you are close to someone, you should be able to invite them. Like, that’s ridiculous. Oh my gosh.

“At the expo, she immediately grew, grew annoyed at how slow we were moving through the crowded rows. She kept rushing ahead, arms crossed, waiting against the walls. My fiance went to stand with her so she wouldn’t be alone, which forced my bridesmaid to drag him back whenever I was mid-conversation with vendors.” Yeah, because then she’s making it all about her, so now they’re not even focusing on their wedding and the vendors, she’s just being annoyed. “We found out. We found some promising vendors, silk flowers, rentals, and hair and makeup team. When I mentioned these, she loudly criticized them. ‘I don’t know why people wear makeup anyway, I didn’t at my wedding, and it was such a waste of money to hire someone.'”

This is someone that’s just gonna find something negative about everything. Either she doesn’t support their marriage or their relationship, she’s unhappy with her own wedding, or she’s just unhappy with her life in general. So she’s gonna critique every single thing that she does.

“For context, I have eczema and acne, so I rarely wear more than concealer and foundation for my wedding. I wanted to feel extra special.” As you should, girl. “She also dismissed the silk flowers as cheap. Even after my fiance reminded her, she hadn’t seen the particular booth we liked.” Just making judgements again. “On the way to lunch afterwards, she called his younger brother and bribed him with a free meal to join. The moment he arrived, she focused entirely on him ignoring my bridesmaids and any vendor talk.”

So she’s like just shutting them out. This is such common behavior in these stories. I see. Um, both with shutting out the wedding planning, critiquing anything that they don’t like. It is making the bride feel bad or awkward about ever bringing up the wedding. And then on the other side of things, the sibling picking favorites. I just read another story about this last week where it was sisters and they were picking favorites and then the famous me and Tina skit, and now it’s doing the same thing. Oh, own invite brother to our lunch. And I’m just gonna completely ignore you guys now.

“Months later, I scheduled wedding dress shopping for when my sister would be in town. I texted his mom and my mom the details. His mom replied that she added it to her calendar, so I didn’t send a reminder. The day arrived and after our family vacation.” I know this going and I’m trying not to laugh. “My bridesmaid’s mom and I headed to the boutique soon after my fiance called his dad, told him his mom had skipped it to take his brother’s graduation pictures. My fiance gently scolded me for not reminding her, even though she said she had it on her calendar.”

That hurt. Yeah, she’s an adult. Like it’s also the relationship thing. Like for example, like I told my mom and my mother-in-law like, Hey, this is the date. For dress shopping? Are you guys both free? They both were. They put it on their calendar, but I talked to them multiple times before then, so it would come up. My mother-in-law would call me like we would talk about it. Same with my mom. Like so like it would come up in conversation, but if it’s somebody I don’t talk to a lot, they are adults. If she, if she said, Hey, I put it in my calendar, trust, trust that. If she had a question about it, she can ask. For her to then be like, oh, I’m taking your brother’s graduation photos. Mm, I don’t know. I think it was on purpose. Um.

“We ended up finding the dress at, I dunno why I said it like that, the dress at the first shop, but kept a second appointment just in case. To our shock, his mom showed up at the second boutique, even though she previously said she wasn’t coming.” So she knew .She either knew or the fiance, because I’m wondering if he scolded the bride later or if he like called her and was like, uh, my mom’s not there. You needed to call her, blah, blah, blah, blah. So maybe he gave the address and was like, you need to go. But to me it sounds like the mom just didn’t wanna go to the first appointment. “To our shock… she immediately criticized the gowns as cheap and called my favorite one plain.” Ew. I don’t like that at all. Again, she’s being so rude during this whole like engagement, stop inviting her to things. “My bridal party was furious.” I wonder if anyone like stuck up for, stood up for her and said something. ’cause I feel like my friends would not be able to bite their tongue. Again, I’ve talked about before. I have an amazing mother-in-law. She would never, but I’m just trying to picture like if there was a scenario where one of my, or one of my friend’s mother-in-laws said something, I think we would say something. I don’t think we could just stand there and be like, watch it happen. That would be terrible.

“My bridal party was furious Afterwards, she declined our dinner invitation, telling my fiance later she wasn’t invited at all.” Of course, she’s gonna be the victim. “My sister planned my bridal shower and we invited his mom’s friends too. Only one RSVP.” Yes, which upset her. “A week before the shower, my fiance told, his mom told me his mom complained. I had excluded her from planning. I reminded him that my sister was handling everything. When he relayed that to his mom, she suddenly claimed she was too busy to help anyway.”

This is that victim mentality. They’re gonna find something wrong or find like a way to whine or cry about everything. It’s like, and she’s putting her, her son, the fiance in the middle of everything, saying like, oh, they didn’t include me when they actually did. And then when he says that, he’s like, oh, I’m way too busy for that. Come on.

“On the day she and her mother sat in their car until five minutes before the party. During the shower, she kept mostly to herself. Her gift to me was a Yelp printout for a quirky nail boutique specializing in anime designs. Interesting, sweet in theory, but not at all practical since we were leaving for our honeymoon the next day.” This is wild. “Later, she scheduled a nail appointment for just the two of us without asking me. Then backed out saying she’d bring a friend instead.” What? So she gets you a nail gift certificate for your bridal shower? Then she says, here, I booked a nail appointment for us, and now she can’t go. This woman is wild. How do you, I don’t know how people deal with this.

“His parents agreed to pay for the rehearsal dinner, but his mom still complained about the officiant not attending. He was never supposed to for a co per contract.” I don’t think they typically do. “At the restaurant, she boasted about the very expensive cookies she brought on the wedding day things escalated. She barged into the bridal suite demanding the photographer document a gift from the groom, which delayed our timeline.” I am shaking my head if you’re listening. “Later, she wandered around with her own DSLR camera.” No. Why? Why does she think she’s a photographer now? “Taking photos during our first dance and other moments, even though we had professionals hired.” And you don’t wanna do that either because your flash can throw out the other photographer’s flash. You could be in the background, you could be in the way, like leave it to the professionals. “Our photographer cropped her out whenever possible, but the videographer couldn’t avoid her.” Also, doesn’t she wanna like interact with people while she had a camera? “She also camped out at her reception table with plastic water bottles and spent much of the night at the photo booth with her friends rather than celebrating with us. The next day, I logged into Facebook to see that she’d already posted dozens of wedding photos. Most of them were herself. Out of nearly 50 pictures, I appeared in about seven.” I am laughing ’cause this is just so ridiculous. Like you’re telling me she makes this big stink about the whole wedding. Has to make the whole thing about her. Then on the wedding day, instead of actually just enjoying it and being present, she’s carrying around this huge DSLR camera, taking all these photos as if she’s a second hired photographer, and then posting it all to Facebook without the bride. It’s wild. Oh my gosh.

“Looking back, his mom’s need for attention overshadowed so many parts of the process. My fiance often excused it, wanting to keep her happy, but it left me feeling excluded and disrespected at multiple points.” I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. If it comes to the point where your mom is making you choose between the two and you can’t choose your new wife. You’re more concerned about making her happy than you’ve already lost. You’re already not choosing your wife, so why are you marrying her? I, I just, I don’t get that, like she, the mom wants like this battle to happen. She wants to like see that her son is still loyal to her, but at the end of the day, like he chose to marry this new person. That’s terrible.

“The wedding itself was beautiful, but her behavior is something I will never forget.” I’m so sorry to this bride and it sucks when you like. Those are the memories then that you have of your wedding day, and I’m sure it hasn’t gotten better now that they’re married. I’m sure it has not gotten better. This mother-in-law is going to still be doing things to be passive aggressive, to be rude, to put her down. All because the girl was scrolling on her phone during game night. Like there, these needs to be researched in a lab somewhere. I don’t know, like I don’t know where this comes from that they get so up in arms or so offended when their son finds someone to marry. I don’t know where this comes from. We need another therapist to come on here and talk about it.

Three Weddings, One Messy Family Tree

Okay, next one. Oh gosh. Okay. Three weddings, one family drama. This story actually involves three weddings. “I grew up in the same neighborhood as this family and was close friends with the youngest daughter. She and her older sister split their time between their dad and stepmom’s house and their mom’s. The stepmom also had two kids from a previous relationship, so it was a blended household. About a year, about a year and a half ago, the older sister got engaged around the same time it came out that their dad was cheating on the stepmom, which led to a nasty divorce.“ Okay. The stepmom and her kids all cut him off, and so did the older sister.

“The younger sister was the only one still trying to keep some peace, and that’s the one that’s friends with the op.” A lot of characters here. And this is why, sorry, this is a side note, but this is why like when I do skits and people are like, I need the next part, I need the next part. I’m like, I don’t wanna complicate it too much by adding all these other characters. ‘Cause I did that before and people were like, who’s who? Who’s that? And it just gets it. It’s hard in these skits and this is why I need to read this one first. Okay. Um.

“Originally, the dad was invited to the older sister’s wedding, but he threw a fit when he found out the stepmom might be there and demanded to bring his new partner instead.” God, hopefully it wasn’t the one that he cheated with. I mean, it’s awkward either way ’cause it was a nasty divorce. But if he is like, Hey, this is the mistress.

Like what are we doing here? “When the bride told him his new partner wasn’t welcome, he refused to attend.” So you’re choosing this new partner over your daughter’s wedding or stepdaughter’s wedding. “She finally uninvited him altogether at the wedding. Their mom walked down the aisle at the wedding, their mom walked. The bride down the aisle, and both the younger sister and the former stepsister were bridesmaids. Afterward, the dad had the audacity to send the bride a venmo request asking for the, asking for reimbursement for the venue deposit. He contributed she ignored it.” This dad is something else. We need a skit about that because I feel like too many times, like these skits are focused on moms and mothers in-law. I’m sorry guys. I am really sorry for that because I, I don’t mean it to be that way. I just get, most of the stories are about moms and I, I don’t mean for it. So I need a dad story. We need to skit about this because this is a really shitty thing to do. Really shitty thing to do. He ultimately chose his new girlfriend over his wife and kids. I get the divorce was nasty, but you need to put your kids first. He is like, pay me back for the venue. I’m like, not, it’s not her fault. You didn’t show up.

“A month later, the dad married the woman he cheated with. The divorce papers from the second marriage were finalized only 24 hours before his wedding.” So it was the woman he cheated with that he wanted to bring to the wedding. Can you imagine the audacity to not even see how badly you screwed up? You ripped apart your family by cheating on your, on your, your wife, um, of how many years and then wanting to bring her to your daughter’s wedding. Actually, stepdaughter’s wedding. What? This guy’s lost his mind.

The only guests were her. The only guests were two of her kids. The younger daughter wasn’t invited, which upset her, but her dad brushed it off by saying she lived too far away about four hours and he didn’t think she could make it. Okay. Wedding #3.

“Just this past weekend was the younger sister’s wedding. I was in the bridal party along with her fiance’s sister, her biological sister. Two new stepsisters from the dad’s third marriage and a cousin.” Okay. So we’re talking, oh wow. This is like a nice, okay, that like biological sister, the peacekeeper, we’ll call her. I don’t have names for her. So really nice to include her dad’s mistress kids. I mean, I guess this his new wife now, but that’s wild to include them. Okay. “The bride had invited her former stepmom and step siblings, but they weren’t a part of the bridal party.” So she included, and unless I’m understanding incorrectly, she included the new stepsisters from the dad’s third marriage, but not the former. Step siblings who she’s known a lot longer. Okay. I guess it’s all about relationship and you, you choose who you want in your wedding. It’s ultimately up to you, but that’s wild. Uh, okay. Okay. “Her mom and her mom’s partner were also there. Her biological sister serving as maid of honor, still wasn’t speaking to their dad. It was out of question, the most awkward wedding I’ve ever, ever attended. The dad walked the bride down the aisle, but the former stepmom and step-siblings weren’t included in photos and left after cocktail hour. I later heard this was prearranged. The bride wouldn’t be upset.” Oh, that sucks. That’s really sad. “During family photos, the division was almost comical. Bride and groom were in the center mom with her partner and their son, and the older sister with her husband on one side, dad and his new wife and her kids on the other. The older sister was treated as part of mom’s side, and there were no photos of both sisters with their dad. He and the older sister still don’t speak to this day and they didn’t speak the entire day. The dad’s new wife seemed to be scrambling to play catch up socially, meeting extended family for the first time, while also trying to coexist with his ex-wife’s families.”

I wanna hear our story, like I want her to send in what happened here, like if my head, it feels like scrambled eggs right now from all of this, I can only imagine. What actually happened and, and you guys listening like, are, am I too confused? Are you guys confused? There are so many people here. Okay. “She ends with the bride, looked happy at the end of it all, which is the most important thing. But from the outside, the balancing act of divorce, parents, ex stepparents, half siblings and new partners made it painfully awkward to witness.” Uh, I hate that. I hate when you hear about like these messy divorces and the parents then make it more about themselves. It sounds like the, um, ex like stepmother, um, sounded like she was willing to like, make it work, but the dad is just, sounds terrible. Um, I’ve been in multiple weddings where there’s children of divorce and they make it work. They’re still hugging, they’re friends. They get along, they, and it’s not like they’re hanging out outside of it. They just make it work for the sake of their kids in a beautiful day. It’s not that hard to brush it aside for one day. It’s not about you, it’s about the bride and groom. And that’s it. The couple getting married.

All right, guys. Well, those were two completely wild stories. Thanks for listening, and hopefully, I mean, we might need a family tree after this. I don’t know, but this was wild.

Mother-in-Law on Vacation With the Ex?

All right, let’s end this episode with some confessions that you guys sent me over on Instagram again. Every single Friday we ask you guys to send us your confessions. They have to do. All kinds of things. Engagements, dating, uh, relationships, weddings, proposals, honeymoons, you name it. So send them to us. Okay. This first one says.

“My mother-in-law would invite his ex over or go on vacation with her after we got engaged.” Oh, no. This is the one that needs to let go of the past. This, I would, I don’t think I would do well with that. Uh, I don’t think most people would. I need to know now. Where are you guys? Are you guys engaged still? Are you married? Does his ex still come around? What is his relationship with the ex? What is his relationship with his mom? Is, is he like setting up a boundary? Because that’s weird to me that the mother-in-law’s going on vacation with her. That’s, that’s very inappropriate to me. Okay.

Was that intentional or was that like an accident? Because there’s been times where like my husband’s included in a group chat or I am and the other isn’t included, and you talk to them later and they either are like, oh, I didn’t mean to do that.

Or, um, it was for a different reason. Or, I don’t know, like, maybe it’s not that deep, but maybe it is that deep. I don’t know. It is weird to not include the bride in a text about her wedding. That’s like the one where the mother-in-law posted photos. Um, I think it was from their engagement and then, um, purposely like, what was it? She, I think either cropped out the bride. No, she, yeah, she cropped out the bride and then only tagged the son in the photos, so that was intentional.

Okay. This last one says, “I knew he was going to propose, but he still doesn’t know that.” Wait. “I knew he was going to propose, but he still doesn’t know that. Married for four years with two kids.“ Okay. Why was I, okay, tell me why I read that. Like he doesn’t know that I’ve been married for four years with two kids. I’ve been reading too many like crazy confessions that I was literally thought she was like confessing to us a deep, dark secret that she’s been married for four years with two kids. Okay. She knew that he was going to propose, like she, somehow the secret was out. She knew that he was gonna propose and she’s not telling him four years later with two kids, all right, I got you. I got you. That’s not that wild. I think that probably happens a lot. You want them to feel good about their surprise, so you’re not gonna say anything.

Um, like I’ve talked about before, I knew my, I knew like we were gonna get engaged soon. I didn’t know when it was gonna happen, so I was completely surprised when it did happen. Um. But I wasn’t like, whoa, we’ve never talked about marriage before. This is weird. So I knew it was kind of coming. Um, yeah.

Well, thanks guys. Those were some pretty wild stories today. As always, if you want more content or more crazy stories, join my email newsletter we send out. We send out emails every single Thursday and we like to call them stories from the Vault. So you’ll get some other stories that we don’t share anywhere else. ’cause I get so many stories, um, every single week. Like right now there’s probably 400 plus. I don’t even know, I haven’t looked at the full doc in a long time. Um, stories and situations and segments and questions that have been sent to me, um, we’re just working on their way out. So, uh, lots of different. Ways and places that I’m sharing them right now.

So thank you guys for listening. And um, you guys, I think I just had like a complete, like brain burst. I’ve been like, I feel like I’ve been pulled in so many directions. I think we all feel that. I don’t know what it, what’s going on, but there’s just so much going on right now that my brain sometimes is just like, I completely just had a brain pause. I don’t even know what you wanna call it, but thank you guys for hanging out with me.

Um. Okay. Thank you so much for hanging out with me this week. As a reminder, you can order my new book, here comes The Drama, a Ferris and Sloan story on. Amazon, Cobo, Barnes and Noble, Ingram Sparks, and many other places. You can find all the links in the show notes. Um, and don’t forget to tag me on social media. I’d love to hear your reviews, see where you’re reading it, um, and share it with a friend because the more people that read it or see about it, because the more people that read it or hear about it, um, just warms my heart, makes me happy.

All right guys. That’s all I have this week. Thanks for hanging out with me. Don’t forget, you now order my brand new book. I guess it’s not brand new anymore, but you could order my book. Here comes the Drama Affairs and Sloan story. Um, Amazon Cobo, Barnes and Noble, Ingram Spark and many other places. The details are in the show notes. I’m currently working on book number two, so that’s been a lot of fun to work on.

Um. I need to work on focusing a little bit more, but I’m excited because I’m taking the storyline that was on social media and like really deep diving it and adding a lot more that was not there before. So if you guys want first dibs or if you guys want some s some more sneak peeks into the book, make sure you’re on my email list.

All right guys. That’s all I got for you this week and I’ll see you next time. Bye now.

by Christa Innis

The Forced Bridesmaid, the Wedding Villain, and a Shocking Twist

“My sister wore a WHITE GOWN… to my rehearsal dinner.”

Yep, that actually happened. This week, I’m spilling not one, but two jaw-dropping wedding stories where guests went full villain mode. We’re talking sisters stealing the spotlight, friends acting like frenemies, and a guest who thought white was her color—brace yourself.

From family members who just can’t let go to attention-seekers desperate to make the day all about them, I’m breaking down the messy details with my signature mix of sass, humor, and straight talk.

And it doesn’t stop there, confessions at the end of the episode include a drunken maid of honor, a mother-in-law in a massive black hat, and even a vow renewal request that will leave you SPEECHLESS.

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Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

03:26 Podcast Format and Upcoming Segments

03:02 Listener Review and Personal Story

03:33 Unique Wedding Coordination Experience

07:56 Unpopular Opinions on Engagement Rings

12:10 This or That: Wedding Drama Debates

18:03 Crazy Wedding Stories: Sister Drama

23:18 The Bride’s Wedding Day Drama

24:40 Sister’s Immature Behavior

29:24 A New Story Begins

29:35 Sabrina’s Obnoxious Antics

33:58 Wedding Day Showdown

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

Unpopular Opinions Unpacked – I’m diving into engagement rings, proposals, and why surprise proposals might actually be the worst idea.
This or That: Wedding Edition – From cheesy DJs to awkward speeches, I’m debating the biggest wedding dilemmas.
Sister Showdown – Bride’s big day was almost derailed by her sister’s shocking white dress choice.
Frenemy in White – Yep, it’s the infamous Sabrina story—how one guest tried (and failed) to steal the spotlight.
Mother-in-Law Chaos – When a MIL shows up in black and white with a statement hat, you know it’s personal.
Vendor Nightmares – Let me tell you why hiring family as your photographer is a recipe for regret.
Drunk Maid of Honor – One bride’s sister turned into a tipsy disaster before the ceremony even began.
Confessions & Closing Tea – I’m wrapping up with jaw-dropping listener confessions and, of course, a little gratitude moment.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“Stop being considerate of people who don’t even consider you.” – Christa Innis
“If you want to wear white to my wedding, congrats—you just RSVP’d to the drama.” – Christa Innis
“Movies made surprise proposals look romantic. In real life, it’s a nightmare waiting to happen.” – Christa Innis
“Sometimes the best punishment isn’t confrontation—it’s silence.” – Christa Innis
“If you know you can’t handle your liquor, hold off until your duties are done.” – Christa Innis

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

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Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of, Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis, and I’m exhausted. How are you doing today? I am just feeling so like, I don’t know, there’s just so much going on. I don’t know where August went. It’s here and gone. Um, that by the time this comes out, it’ll be early October, but I’m filming it or recording this right now in September.

And I just, I feel like I blinked and this year is like t hree quarters of the way over. Um, it’s just, it’s, I’m so grateful to be doing what I’m doing, but it’s also very like nonstop. Sometimes I need to take a step back and just like take a deep breath because I feel like I’m just like on this constant like hamster wheel of running around, checking things off the box, being a mom, being a wife, being a friend.

And it’s just, it’s, it’s a lot. Um, and I’m sure you moms or parents with kids going back to school are feeling it. Mine’s too young for that yet, so I’m not doing the back to school thing quite yet. But, um, it’s just wild how the older you get. The years just seem to go quicker and quicker and quicker. Um, and the, with the current climate, I just feel like the news is suppressing.

It’s a little sad and I hope I can just bring some entertainment to you guys with, you know, with everything going on. Um, I don’t know. It’s just, it’s a lot and I just have to remind myself to be grateful for. What I’m able to do, being able to do this from home and be able to create, um, a lot of people don’t have that.

And so, um, I don’t take it for granted. So I’m just, I’m just wanna say I’m grateful for you guys listening. I know I’m going off on a little tangent. I’ve got a lot of feelings this week. Um, there’s just, there’s a lot. There’s a lot going on. So -we are gonna do things a little different. Um, I dunno, I say that, but I feel like it’s always a little different ’cause we always have new stories.

Um, we’ve got two stories at the end for you today. We’re gonna do unpopular opinions, um, which you guys send me on social media. We’re gonna do some this or that, some hot takes. And of course at the very, very end we got some confessions for you and we got some good ones. Um. We haven’t shared these for a while.

I mean, we share them on Instagram, um, stories. But we’ve even shared ’em on a podcast in a while, so you guys are in for a treat. Gosh, there were so many.

Breaking Traditions: A Bride’s Dream Wedding with Zero Rules

Okay. Starting things off, I just wanna read a little, um, review of the podcast. It says, as someone in the wedding industry, bridal assistant, I enjoy watching your videos and I can’t wait to hear the rest of the stories.

That’s from Songbird for life. So thank you so much Songbird for leaving that review. And again, if you guys enjoy this podcast, please share it with a friend or leave a review. It really helps more people hear the podcast and just means so much to me. Um. I wanna share just something really fun. I know like a lot of times on my social media accounts and on the podcast, I, you know, I do skits.

So a lot of it is about other people’s stories and stuff. But as many of you guys know, I do very, very part-time day of coordinating. Like, I’m talking like I did one this year and I did one last year. I’m talking to a bride right now for one next year. Um, I just don’t have the time to do it. I love it so much.

I love it so much. I just had the honor of doing one. Um, it’s been two weeks now. Um, but she was just a dream of a bride to work with, just so kind, knew what she wanted was, so I, I mean, just knew what she wanted, but also was like very like open to hearing ideas. Um. We brainstorm, we brainstorm, brainstormed through a lot of stuff.

Um, but I just have to just. It just reminds me of like why I love weddings so much. Um, like I said, I don’t do a, a ton anymore, but it’s fun to just get back out there. I just did like some partial planning with her, so we met like every few months and then we did day of coordinating. So I basically just ran around like, you know what?

You tell me what you need. I got, I got you. Um, we did the rehearsal together, but I wanted to share instead of like me just blabbing, I wanted to share some interesting things. That they did not do, or traditional things that they did not do that I thought was so awesome the way they did it, or just I should say non-traditional things they did.

I thought was really awesome. And a reminder to anyone listening that you don’t ever have to stick within the guidelines of what your parents tell you or what you see on the, in the media or whatever. You can do things your own way, and I loved this about their wedding. Okay, so here’s some things that I thought was really cool.

They had no maid of honor or best man. Um, they had a wedding party, um, but it was very, like everyone was equal. Um. They had a few different speeches, but it wasn’t like who you would think it was just kind of like different people on each side. Some had asked, some were told, so I thought that was really cool.

There were no readings in the wedding, the wedding itself’s, why I led the, the, um, ceremony. Um, and I just kinda like organized where everyone stood and all that. Um, it was really quick. I wanna say it was 15 minutes max. They wanted a really quick ceremony. It was. Beautiful. Honestly, like out of like Taylor Swift’s like music video or something so beautiful.

Um, they did no readings, so it was really quick. Um, she had her stepdad officiate and I thought he did such a great job. He was so um, nervous. He had never done it before, but he did so great. He was so personable. And I thought it was a really great way to include her stepdad. And then she did her daddy daughter dance, and then her, both her parents walked her down the aisle and then both the groom’s parents walked him down the aisle.

So I thought it was a great way to include all parents, um, in that, um, what’s something else? They also had, um, flower petals on this seat instead of just the flower girls having them, everyone could throw them at the end. So I thought that was really, really awesome. They had no cake. A lot of people are gonna be like, what?

But I love that someone that’s like not a big cake person, I just love the little sweetss and treats. They just did a dessert table, so they did no cake cutting. Um, and so that was great. So it’s just a reminder that no matter what it is, even if you’re like, I’m already married or I don’t plan on getting married, whatever kind of event or just thing in your life, go outside the lines.

Like, do what makes sense for you. Um, say goodbye to tradition. Tradition. Um. Yeah, I just, it was such a, she was such a dream to work with and everyone in the wedding party was just so kind. And yeah, it just reminds me of why I love doing it. So, um, I get like a little like, um, anxious when it before weddings.

’cause I’m like such an introverted person. I work from home, but when you put me in that spot, I got it. How can I help you? Where can I go to, what can I do for you? Like, I got you. So, um, yeah, I don’t really like advertise that I do it much just because like, I don’t have much time for them, but when I do them, they’re so much fun.

Engagement Rings, Proposals & The Myth of the “Perfect Surprise”

Anyways, okay, into our first segment, unpopular Opinions. These are ones that you guys sent to me on social media, so let’s talk about it. These ones have to do with engagement rings, so let’s talk about it. All right. These are unpopular opinions that people send. The first one says the bigger the stone, the better.

Um, no, it’s actually about the commitment. Yeah. 100%. I mean, I, there’s, they’re saying, okay, I guess you can’t see. They have quotes around the bigger the stone the better. No, it’s absolutely not. The bigger the stone the better. So I’m agreeing with this person. Um. Yeah, I feel like people get so caught up in the ring.

Yes. I like, I love my wedding ring or my engagement ring. My husband and I though like talked about it ahead of time, like I was very involved in that. I know it’s different for everybody, but there’s this idea of like, you have to spend this amount, you have to do this if you truly love them. And it’s like, no, like there are like millionaires and billionaires that get married multiple times that like spend. An obs and a crazy amount of money on these rings, that does not mean they love the person more. If all you can afford is a very basic ring, do that also fit into their personality? If they’re not a big jewelry wear or don’t, like big stones, don’t do that. Um, so yeah. Um, this person says, I don’t like the big marry me sign.

It’s overdone. I’ve never seen it personally. I see them a lot of times on like Instagram or social media and to me that’s like the Instagram proposal, right? Like that you want everything to look good. It’s a big flashing lights. Some people love that. Some people want that public proposal. Teach their own.

Um, this person says, I think proposals are best kept private. Keep it intimate for the couple, me personally, yes. I own, I’ve talked to this before. I had, um, four other friends there, so I had, it was two other couples that were with us. Had no idea what was gonna happen that night. I knew it was probably happening soon, but, uh.

No idea what was happening that night. I loved how intimate it was. It was a friend’s backyard. We were all hanging out. I would not have been comfortable. I mean, I dunno. I say that now in like hindsight. I don’t think I would’ve wanted a big, a big proposal. I’ve been a part of big proposals or ones that are at we or big parties.

Everyone’s got their own vibe. It’s just important to know your person and know what they’re comfortable with, and that goes for either partner. Because let’s say the bride really wants this big moment and it’s in public space, but if the groom’s not comfortable with that, like maybe he’s more private, he’d rather confess his love for her or ask her to marry him in a private place, then you have to like be able to work together some way somehow.

Um, it says, this one says it shouldn’t be a total surprise, total incomplete surprise. I a hundred percent agree with this. I feel like movies growing up and the way it was presented growing up was like, okay, when your partner loves you, they’re gonna propose to you and it’s gonna be outta nowhere. That sounds like a nightmare. If you’ve never talked about marriage or never talked about the next step with your partner, I don’t think you should be proposing or getting proposed to. You need to have that discussion because I’ve seen stories where people get proposed when they’re like, oh, we are not there yet. Or they’re like, I, I don’t want to get married.

So yeah, I don’t think it should be a complete surprise, like. Maybe how it happens or when it happens. Yes. I love the surprise element of the actual proposal, but to not ever, to never talk about getting married together or like moving in together and then you’re just like, I bought this ring. It’s like, pump the brakes a little bit.Let’s have the the conversation first.

Wedding Dilemmas: Cheesy DJs, Awkward Speeches & Destination Dreams

Okay, next up, this or that. Pick aside wedding drama debates. Here we go. A band that kills the vibe by skipping your first dance song. Or a DJ who keeps people dancing, but plays tea, cheesy tracks all night. If I’m picking one or the other, I’m gonna go for a cheesy, cheesy dj because if people are dancing all night, they’re obviously enjoying it in some way or another.

And I am all about it, like I’ve talked about this before, but like. My family. We’ve always been the one that’s like on the dance floor all night long. Same with my husband’s family. That was one of the things, like we’d go to weddings together and I was like, okay, we, we vibe because we are on the dance floor all night.

We’re not sitting at our table. We are on our feet hanging out, dancing. I love it. Uh, okay, next one. Blow the budget on incredible food. Everyone raves about or skip the fancy food and have a Pinterest perfect reception. Um, I’m gonna go incredible food. I don’t care about Pinterest. Perfect. I don’t, um, endless awkward speeches or no speeches at all.

And it offended and offended. Friends, why are the friends offended? Because they didn’t, weren’t asked for a speech. Um, I would say no speeches at all. Sorry. Two of the offended friends. If you’re offended. Sorry. I don’t, I don’t know why I would never be offended if someone didn’t ask me to give a speech.

I would actually understand if someone didn’t ask me. ’cause I blab a lot. Um, but I think I’d be okay if someone asked me. Side, side story. Endless awkward speeches. I’ve sold, I’ve told that story so many times, but I was at a wedding once where they just kept passing around the microphone. Nothing was planned.

Everyone just kept going off on a whim. It was awkward. Nobody wants that. A 12 person party full of drama or the guilt of leaving people out with only one or two by your side. Uh, see the way that one’s worded is like one’s better than the other. Actually, no, they’re both worded bad, I guess. I’m gonna go with the guilt of leaving people out with one, only one or two by your side.

And the reason I say it, and I’m someone that had nine bridesmaids, okay? I dunno if I’ve ever talked about that before and I don’t regret it for a second. I loved it. But also my wedding party, everyone got along very well. They all know each other. I mean, they’re from different groups. Kind of like I had cousin friends from high school, um, sisters-in-law.

Uh. Other friends and then my sister. So different groups, but they all kind of knew each other, but everyone got along great, so we didn’t have any drama. Um, so yeah, that’s hard though when you do have a really big group and there’s like a lot of drama going on, leave me out of it, especially at my age now, I’m just like, if I were to do all over again, I would probably just have a couple people stand up with me and then have the rest, like just wear a similar color.

I actually just saw a wedding like that and I think that was really beautiful. Uh, kids melting down mid vows or family drama for years after banning kids? Ooh, that’s a spicy one.

It depends on who the kid is. Um, ’cause I, I couldn’t imagine getting married without my nieces and nephews at our wedding. So if one of them had a met meltdown. I would just be glad they were there, honestly. But if it was someone, ’cause I don’t think we’d have family drama. See, I read, this is the problem with me and Rapid Fire, I read into them too much because I’m like, wait, that wouldn’t happen.

So if I’m just going straight off the bat, I would just say a kid melting down because it’d be someone important to me. Um. Plus it’s like 20 seconds long. Okay. A dreamy destination wedding and judgment from family or a giant hometown wedding. You didn’t even want a dreamy destination wedding. It’s funny ’cause I feel like.

My opinion has changed so much since, since getting married, and I’ve only been married three and a half years now. Um, but like I always say, I almost, I’m one of the last ones, so we knew exactly what we wanted. We’d been to so many weddings, but if I were to get married now or years from now, like, or redo it, I’d go destination all the way small group.I already did the whole fun planning of a wedding, you know? And so I’m like the fact, the thought of doing that again, I’m just like, I don’t know. I don’t need to do it for myself. Love doing it for other people. But yeah.

The Sister Who Wore White (Twice!) and Hijacked the Wedding

Okay, let’s get into the stories ’cause they are long, so I wanna make sure I have enough time without having to carry over to another, I got two crazy stories here.

Let’s go. Okay. My older sister was married first, but her marriage only lasted two months. While she was divorcing her husband, I had just met the man of my dreams. We got engaged eight months after dating and planning our wedding for five months later, since he was set to deploy soon after. My mom was adamant that my sister be my maid of honor because you only have, this is her saying it in quotes.

You only have one sister. And I always wished I had but didn’t, even though my sister and I weren’t very close, I had two lifelong best friends who felt more like sisters. I went along with it. Oh no. Okay, so full disclosure. I had my best friend, Yvette, who has been on the podcast, be my maid of honor, and my sister was a bridesmaid.

She was not offended. She was actually just very happy to be a bridesmaid. Um, my, I was my sister’s maid of honor, but she also got married 12, 13 years ago. Oh my gosh, 14 years ago. So I was like super young. We were both really young, um, and so things were just different. But yeah, I, I knew right off the bat that I wanted my friend Yvette, to be my maid of honor plus.

You also have to look at, like when someone’s, your maid of honor, you’re, they’re getting other responsibilities too, depending on, you know, different things. But your bachelorette party, maybe you’re helping with the shower being your person. Right. And I talked to my friend about all the time. We’d been to so many different events together, and it just was more fitting.

My sister was not offended. She was happy to be a part of the wedding. Um, okay. So I talked about this before. I am not a fan of when parents or people try to convince the brighter groom to have someone be in the wedding or be a certain place in the wedding. So she went along with it when it came time for my bridal shower and bachelorette party, which were scheduled the same weekend since I was finishing grad school in another state.

That sounds stressful. My sister refused to help. For months. Every time I asked, she brushed it off, brushed me off with, we have time. It’s too early to plan, so she’s not a planner. In the end, my mom and I organized everything ourselves. A week before the events, my sister suddenly started asking questions and got mad that everything had already been handled without her.

My mom even called me asking me to find something to include her in. So you’re doing more work because she couldn’t be bothered before. My phone just lit up like I was talking to it. I promise I’m not. Okay. It’s like all those like skits I do where there’s like a recording. It’s like recording me now.

Okay. Um, my mom, okay, so I reminded her that I had been trying for two months, but my sister hadn’t lifted a finger. When I flew back home to go wedding dress shopping with everyone, she didn’t show up. Later, she demanded a different dress from the other bridesmaids because it was special. I wanted them all to match, but of course my parents called me saying she was hurt.

Oh my gosh. Is this an older or younger sister? Older. Okay. The older sister did this. Okay. My shower, she had narrowed her outfit down to two dresses. I told her which one I preferred because the other was two bridal. She showed up in the white dress anyway, with black accents, perfectly matching my invitations and decor.

In the photos she positioned herself in the middle so much that you barely know, that you would barely know I was the bride. So like there’s no like necessary rule that at showers and stuff, the bride has to be the only one in white. But I feel like all the ones I’ve gone to, it’s pretty common courtesy.

I would never show up to a shower or a bachelorette wearing all white. Um. Especially if you ask them their opinion. This sounds to me like the sister was a little salty about the fact that she was going through a divorce. It wasn’t working. So her sis and then her sister’s moving really fast with this wedding.

So she’s like, I’m gonna be involved where I want to be involved. Um, and that’s unfortunate that she can’t just be happy for her. With all the drama building, my fiance and I secretly decided to elope what? S I’m sorry for that sound that just came outta my mouth. That just came outta nowhere. We got married privately, just the two of us, but kept it a secret until after the big day.

Oh, I love when that happens. I love that. Okay. Honestly, it saved me so much stress. You go girl. The night before the wedding, a massive blizzard hit. I was running around collecting last minute deliveries and arrived a little late to my rehearsal. Sure enough, my sister showed up in a white gown. You guys, this is wild.

I’ve never read a story where the sister is like showing up in these gowns. It’s usually the mom or mother-in-law or an aunt or something. That’s wild. ’cause she knows better. She’s been a bride. She knows better. It makes me wonder how her wedding was. If she was like this at her wedding or someone did it to her, like what’s the, what’s the deal here?

At that point, I didn’t even care. I went through a rehearsal in jeans and snow booth before changing from the dinner. You go, girl, I love this bride. The morning of the wedding, all of us, my fight bridesmaids, my sister, my mom and my mother-in-law went to the salon. My sister went first for hair and threw a fit because her hair didn’t match the picture.

She brought, she soaked in the corner with her arms crossed like a toddler. I added that. Um, while the stylist kept checking in as we were leaving, she suddenly sighed. Fine. I guess I can f. I guess someone can fix my hair. I told my mom we needed to go since the florist was delivering flowers and the photographer was minutes away, but she insisted Your sister needs to be happy with her hair.

What is with this mom constantly like defending the older sister for acting like a toddler? My guess is this is why she acts this way, is because the parents are always like, no, like, let’s go out for your sister. Like, what is the deal here? Why is the younger sister acting like. So much more mature in this scenario.

45 minutes later, this is wild. My sister finally approved her look and acted like nothing had happened. On the way back, she demanded. We stopped at CVS for an allergy medicine. I tried to say no, but my mom cut me off again. Here we go with the mom. You know, this is hard for her since she just had her wedding.

Let’s do what we can to make her comfortable. No. This is the bride’s day. We don’t need to make this whole time. We don’t need to make it comfortable for the sister this whole time. For context, her wedding had been over, uh, for a year at this point. By the time we got home, the florist had already left taking the bouquet to the reception, but leaving the behind the VAEs for the bridesmaids table arrangements.

Oh my gosh. The photographer was also waiting on us. During picture as my sister shoved her way to be next to me. In nearly every shot, nearly every shot loudly, declaring I’m the maid of honor. This is my spot.

That’s wild. I’ve been the maid of honor twice, and I was just like, I don’t care where I stand. I’ll stand where you guys want me to. I had. I had to specifically request individual photos with each bridesmaid just so they wouldn’t all be dominated by her. Oh my gosh. It’s hard when it’s a sibling ’cause it’s like you can’t just like cut them out.

Especially the mom is like waiting on her hand and foot. Afterwards she demanded to know why she didn’t sign the marriage license and accused wait. What? She didn’t manage to know why she wasn’t like the witness on the marriage license and accused another bridesmaid of doing it when in reality no one had.

We were already legally married at the reception she pouted when one of my best friends gave a speech rolling her eyes and smirking through it. My mom kept excusing her behavior as a hard time for my sister, but really this is just who she is and my parents chose to not see it. That is so wild. Like I am so sorry because.

This is gonna never change. These parents are gonna constantly excuse her behavior saying, oh, she’s just going through a hard time. It’s like, no, everyone’s going through a hard time. From time to time. Everyone’s stressed from time to time. It does not give you the right to treat people a certain way, or especially during your sister’s wedding.

Like, be happy for someone other than yourself. Um, so I’m guessing they didn’t ask the sister to give a speech either. A few years later she remarried. Wait, before I get to that, I was gonna say, I wish she would’ve said that moment. It’s ’cause we’re already married. Like I feel like I would’ve done that in my skit.

Be like, it’s ’cause we’re already married. But I guess she didn’t tell her. Okay. A few years later she remarried. She got engaged when I was seven months pregnant and announced they’d be in, they’d be getting married in Hawaii in just two months. She told me I had to be there and nine at nine months pregnant.

You’re gonna demand that your sister’s there. Yeah, right. I wished her well, but explained it wasn’t possible. I’d be two weeks past my due date and couldn’t travel. I ended up giving a, giving birth a week late. She was furious and didn’t speak to me for a month. This girl is so immature. So immature, and the parents are allowing it.

I mean, I don’t know how old they are now, but. She’s never going to be responsible for her own actions. If the parents are constantly giving her excuses. Here’s the kicker, she’s a doctor. She knew perfectly well that traveling then was impossible for me. So if she’s a doctor, she’s gotta be at least what, mid to late twenties.

How long are you in medical school for? Isn’t it like eight years or something? 12 years, 10 years? I don’t know. I’m not a doctor, so I don’t know. But that is wild to me, this whole story is wild to me and it, it’s more wild. Like I just, I’m currently in this, well, by the time this comes out, I’ll probably be done with it, but the Tina and me ski.

Was based on a true story that someone sent me, um, very based like, or very inspired, loosely inspired, like the first episode where they really, um, idolized one sister over the other. They did everything for this one engagement and not the other. They got mad. I don’t know, all these crazy things, right? And people are commenting like, parents are really like this, this is terrible. And I’m like, I read this story and I’m like, yep. They are. That is to just like put one on a pedestal and the other one’s just like, no, like your sister’s going through a hard time. I dunno. That’s wild.

When Your Husband’s Friend Tries to Steal the Spotlight

All right guys, we got one more story. We got so much more fun in our way. Okay, let’s go story number two.

About a year after meeting my now husband, I went to one of his dance performances when I’m, where I met a dozen of his friends for the first time. One girl in particular, let’s call her Sabrina, immediately stood out. These are all changed names. She was loud, obnoxious, and constantly gossiping about people she didn’t even know.

When we entered the theater, she insisted on sitting right in the middle of our group. It wasn’t the best seat, but it was the one that guaranteed she’d be the center of attention. She didn’t say a single word to me, and anytime someone asked me a question, she talked over me. My first impression not good.

Yeah, I would say not good either. I’ve, I’ve met people like that before. They don’t like when a new girl is brought into the mix because they’re not the center of attention anymore. They fast forward a couple of years. We all went on a weekend trip, about 20 people. The friend group plus partners. I hadn’t seen Sabrina since that first meeting.

Oh wow. A couple years later. Wow. Okay. And she was exactly as I remembered, always needing the spotlight. That night we played a game where you had to catch the liars on the opposing team. There were special roles and coincidentally, I ended up paired with my boyfriend. He had a power that let him check someone’s card each round.

And he announced, I saw Sabrina’s card. She’s a liar. When the voting came out, I said, I’m voting against her because my partner saw her card. Without missing a beat, Sabrina snapped back. Oh, so you believe him? Like when he said, like when he tells you he loves you this, Ooh, this girl’s, wow. She must have like a crush on him or something.

I was boiling inside, but I managed to smile and say, you know what? Nevermind now I’m voting against you because you made it personal. Oh, I love it. Okay. The room went silent. Everyone voted against her, and she was eliminated loudly, angry about it. Of course, I went straight to bed, furious that neither my partner nor anyone else defended me.

The next morning she approached me with a half-hearted apology. So my boyfriend said, I was really mean to you yesterday. I don’t know when, but Sorry. No, that’s not an apology. Sorry. After that, I avoided her as much as possible. I skipped the group gatherings and the one time I tried to go, I caught COVID, so I took it as a sign that my body really did not want me to be there.

I would too. I’d be like, okay, thanks, universe. When my husband and I got engaged, I made it clear I would never force him to cut Sabrina out since they’d been friends since kindergarten. That is really nice. Maybe a little nicer than me, and I’m a pretty nice person, but if someone were to consistently not be very nice to me and put me down or put my relationship down, I would not give ’em the same courtesy.

I just saw a thing on, on social media the other day. I hope I don’t butcher this, but it says, stop being considerate for people that don’t even consider you. So there’s a little reminder to everybody out there, especially as people pleasers, we want to consider people, or if they hurt our feelings, we just are, we’re just like, oh, wait, maybe they didn’t mean it.

No, stop. Stop being considerate. A people that didn’t consider you, she couldn’t even apologize. Um, anyways, so she said she wouldn’t force him to cut her out because they were friends in since kindergarten, but he shouldn’t expect me to interact with her. I even joked that she’d pull something dramatic at the wedding, like wear white or have her boyfriend propose in the middle of it.

My wedding dress was a true princess gown, layers of pink and white tool green lace shaped like leaves. Oh my gosh, I wanna see this dress sounds beautiful. And glittering. Floral details. On our wedding website and invitations, we clearly stated, white is reserved for the bride. Ooh, okay. I’ve never seen it like that.

I love that you’re just upfront. Put it right on the invitation. I wasn’t worried about anyone confusing me with someone else, but I didn’t want photos where the attention could be stolen. Makes sense. So the big day arrives. Oh no. Oh no. We do our first look full of excitement. Then go to greet our guest before the ceremony.

Who’s the very first person I see Sabrina. And what is she wearing? A long flowy white gown. What is with both of these stories, having people in the, not in the wedding or the bride wearing a white dress, and not just a white dress, a white gown,

that is wild. This is someone asking for a fight or asking for the detention be stolen. I wonder how long she was with her boyfriend for? Maybe it was something where she was mad that she wasn’t proposed to first. Ooh, this is wild, you guys. Okay. I said wild. We should do a, a tracker of how many times I say wild.

I’ve noticed more and more I say it like all the time. The best part, my husband finally saw her for what she is. He apologized profusely to me and the photographers without me even asking, cropped her out of all the photos whenever possible. There’s only one group shot of the friends and my husband without me, where she’s actually, where she actually looks like the bride.

We decided the best way to quote unquote punish her was silence. No confrontation. No drama. Just be ignored when all she wanted was to be the center of attention. And honestly, that was the sweetest justice of all. I love that. Okay. I said one time in a, in, I think it was a podcast. The mother-in-law was gonna wear white, like told her daughter-in-law that I bought a white dress for your wedding.

’cause it’s the only color I look good in. And my response was, one of the things you could do is just ignore it. And so many people in the comments were like, ignore it. Oh, I’m not ignoring it. Oh, that’s exactly, you know that you’re giving her what she wants. Someone, this made such a good point. Someone like this is wanting, wanting to stir the pot. They wanna cause a scene. They want people to notice them. They want the bride to feel inferior. And if you don’t feed into it, you don’t say anything. You don’t acknowledge it or have other people look or point or say anything. You’re not giving them what they want. They’re actually gonna leave mad because no one noticed.

I love that. I love that. And then only post photos that she’s not in. Okay. I’m getting petty now, but actually is it petty? No, she was petty first. This, this, I can’t even get a sentence out because I’m just so, I can’t believe how both stories had someone showing up in white. These need be skits. Oh my gosh.

You guys, um, you guys need to like. If you’re listening to this whole thing, I need to know all your thoughts. Go to YouTube, go to Instagram, go to TikTok. Comment your thoughts after you listen to this because these are just crazy. These are crazy. See, I had a different word.

Mother-in-Laws, Bad Photos & Drunk Maids of Honor

Okay. As promised, I’m gonna end this episode. Sorry, I’m fidgeting with my hair so much. If you’re watching this, um, I’m gonna end these EPIs this episode with some confessions. These are pretty wild. Okay. Here we go. At the end, mother-in-law wore white and black to our wedding with a huge black hat. The white. I have more of a problem with. I, I remember reading a story years ago, uh, where the mother-in-law wore black to the wedding, like all black.

And I was like, oh my gosh. Like they’re dressed to a funeral. Like their husband or their husband, their son’s being taken away from them. Right. But I was thinking about it. I’m like, I’ve worn black to formal weddings before, like a formal black dress. I’ve worn black jumpsuits to weddings before, so I don’t think black is actually considered that bad, but it’s where she wore our huge black hat and then a white and black dress because we don’t know the style of the dress, but.

Also, if someone’s saying this, like a bride’s saying this, my guess is there’s some kind of issue already between them. Because again, if you have a good relationship with someone and they showed up like that, you’d be like, oh, cool. Pretty dress. But if it’s someone that’s already got an issue with you, then they’re making a statement.

Okay. My cousin was my sister’s photographer. He didn’t give her the pictures for two years and they turned out awful. Yeah. No, we don’t do family for vendors. We just don’t. If they insist you say, I want you there as a guest, I already have a photographer because I’ve heard so many horror stories about people choosing photographers for their wedding.

Um, that’s a family member or, um, and I wouldn’t count like officiant from the story early from my day of coordinating story earlier because that’s, I think that’s a more personal thing. They can just do it and be done. Right. But a photographer, you need someone that’s really devoted as fully a photographer.

Like that’s their profession, not just like a little side gig. Someone that’s gonna take a few photos on their iPhone, um, or just starting out. Okay. Okay. This one’s like a three part one. She said, my fiance’s best man peer pressured him into asking him to be the best man. Anytime he did anything for my fiance, unrelated to the wedding, he said, this is, this is best man’s sh*t right here.

You better ask me. We get married in nine months. That’s awkward. I mean.

I don’t know. I don’t know how to respond to that. I feel like, yeah, maybe they can make subtle hints that they wanna be your best man, but it’s up to you. You have the power. You could ultimately have the power if they’re your friend. Sure. But if they keep just making comments like that, you are like, oh, I already have someone else planned.

Okay. This one’s weird. Okay. Best friend’s mother-in-law asked for a mother, son renewal vows on their wedding. Mother-in-law had it. Best friend divorced him. Wait, the mom wanted to renew vows on their wedding day. I need, I need more context to this. This is wild. This is so wild. I need more words. Help me come up with more words.

I say amazing. And I say wild and I say crazy a ton. Help me come up with more words. Um, maybe help me out and just comment on YouTube. Just use some different words so I can get them in my vocabulary. ’cause when I find what, I just stick to that and that’s what we’re using for the next month. Um, so yeah, I don’t get it.

She asked, she wanted vow renewals with her son, just like to prove that she’s the mom. I don’t understand.

All right. Oh, last one. My sister and mother-in-law. Okay. No, my sister slash maid of honor got drunk before the ceremony. She was a sh*t show half the day. Yeah. Alcohol can be a big problem at weddings. I’m sure. We’ve got tons of alcohol stories that people have sent me in. I’ve seen it a few times. Few times I’ve seen it lots of times.

You get the people that are like fun and drunk or buzz at the weddings and like they’re just dancing. Like, yeah. If you know you cannot handle your liquor, hold off till the reception, till your duties are done. If you have any slight, slight question about it. Although anyone that’s gonna like not think they have a problem. Is not going to be like, I’m gonna wait. They’re gonna be like, I can be fun. So yeah, that kind of sucks when it happens like that.

Alright guys, well that’s all I have this week. Don’t forget to send me your confessions on social media on Mondays. We do unpopular opinions On Fridays, we do, uh, your confessions, so hold onto those cool confessions.

Sometimes we have different themes, but otherwise I can’t wait to read ’em. Of course, always send me your wedding story submissions. They can be wedding proposal, engagement, dating, friendship, whatever stories we’re, we’re gonna open our horizons a little bit. Um, feel free to tell me your stories. Um, and I think that’s all I got for you guys.

Thank you so much for hanging out with me. Don’t forget, you can now order my book. Here comes the Drama Affairs and Sloan story, wherever you get books. And when I say wherever, it’s not really wherever. It’s like Amazon, Cobo, Barnes and Noble IngramSpark. Yeah. Um, and don’t forget to tag me on social media if you have read it.

Um, and you tagged me at party planning by Krista for a chance to be featured on my page. I had a total like brain fart just now. I was like, what am I talking about? Where am I? This is, this is how my brain has been. I just love you guys. I’m so grateful for this podcast. I’m so grateful for you guys and for, um, the ability to be able to do this.

So thank you so much and I’ll see you guys next time. Bye now.

by Christa Innis

Makeup Artist Drama, Reality TV, and Toxic Bridesmaid Who Ruins the Wedding with Antoinette

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

Get the book!

What kind of bridesmaid shows up in white to your bridal shower… with her mom in a matching “bride” sash?

Christa and Antoinette start off with some fun chatter about Antoinette’s heroic job before jumping into the wild tale of Erica, the bridesmaid who just couldn’t stand not being the center of attention. From sulking on a pontoon boat to hijacking the bridal shower, her jealousy turned every moment into a spectacle.

This episode is full of outrageous behavior, red flags in friendships, and lessons on boundaries, jealousy, and protecting your peace while planning your big day.

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month!

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

01:59 Discovering Antoinette on TikTok

02:25 Balancing Nursing and TikTok

03:27 First Viral Content: Love Island

05:03 Reality TV and Pop Culture Commentary

06:14 The Rise of Love Is Blind

10:42 TikTok Drama and Content Creation

25:22 Nursing Career and Personal Insights

28:30 Wedding Stories and Hot Takes

41:55 Unexpected Skit Request

42:22 Reality TV and Bridal Parties

43:00 Wedding Expectations and Realities

45:44 Rapid Fire Wedding Questions

49:52 Wild Wedding Story: Erica’s Drama

01:09:58 Reflecting on Toxic Friendships

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

Jealous Bridesmaid – Erica sulks during a boat ride after hearing about her friend’s engagement, igniting a downward spiral of jealousy.
Disrespectful Comments – The moment Erica’s jealousy flares when she makes a rude comment about the bride’s proposal ring.
Bridal Shower Drama – Erica shows up in white at the bride’s bridal shower, making the event all about herself.
Bachelorette Trip Tantrum – Erica and her boyfriend’s constant complaints and early departure from the bachelorette weekend.
Bridal Shower Exit – Erica leaves the shower early with an excuse, hinting at deeper unresolved issues.
Blocked & Uninvited – After a final confrontation, Erica blocks the bride and bridesmaids, effectively ending the friendship.
Red Flags & Final Decisions – The bride reflects on the red flags in Erica’s behavior and why she should have cut ties earlier.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“Some friendships are just meant to be a chapter, not the whole book.” – Christa Innis
“When a bridesmaid makes it all about herself, that’s a red flag bigger than your wedding dress.” – Christa Innis
“Jealousy isn’t the problem, how you act on it is what matters.” – Christa Innis
“Your wedding is for celebration, not for managing other people’s insecurities.” – Christa Innis
“If a friend’s making your big day miserable, it might be time to reconsider the friendship.” – Christa Innis
“Jealousy is just information. How you handle it is the real test.” – Antoinette
“If you’re not happy for your friend, maybe it’s time for some self-reflection.” – Antoinette
“A true friend would never make your moment about their own issues.” – Antoinette
“There’s no timeline for happiness. Every couple moves at their own pace.” – Antoinette
“At the end of the day, it’s your wedding. Not a competition.” – Antoinette

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

About Antoinette:

Meet Antoinette (@msrazzledazzle), your reality TV and pop culture bestie. With over 37K followers and 3.2 million likes on TikTok, she’s built a vibrant community around her sharp takes, playful commentary, and unapologetic love for all things drama. From Love Island to Black Mirror, Antoinette dives into the juiciest corners of reality TV with wit, warmth, and a dash of razzle-dazzle. Whether she’s spilling tea or breaking down the latest season of Summer House, she brings a voice that’s both relatable and razor-sharp.

Follow Antoinette:

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

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A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi Antoinette. Thank you for coming on.

Antoinette: Hi. Excited to have, thank you for having me. I was gonna say, excited to have you.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh.

Antoinette: Thank you.

Christa Innis: I have been so, I’ve, I’ve been so guilty of saying stuff like that. Like I remember years ago going to like the movie theater and asking them like, or no, you order like food or something, and they’re like, enjoy your movie.

And you’re like, thanks, you too.

Antoinette: Yeah, right.

It’s just like you’re on autopilot a lot of times. You’re like, oh, you too. Oh, you too.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. It literally happens all the time. I’m just like, yeah. And it’s funny now, like my daughter’s too, but there’s times where I’m like, oh, um. Like, what was, how, I don’t even, I’ll ask a question. She just goes, good. And I’m like, well, that’s like if someone says, how are you? But it’s just like, it’s funny.

Anyways, thank you for coming on. I’m excited to have you here. Um, I know we were talking before that I just, I, I found you on TikTok. I love your content, your banter, if you will. Um, and I think that’s just like perfect for this, um, for this podcast.

Um, so you are a labor and delivery nurse by day and you banter about pop culture at night. I mean, I don’t know if it’s necessarily at night. Tell us a little more about yourself. You, and, um, I’d love to hear more.

Antoinette: I am a day nurse. ’cause you know, there are some people who only do night shifts. I am, I’m a day girly.

Okay. I can’t, I can’t do the night shift stuff. So I am a labor and delivery nurse by day, but we do like 12 hour shifts, so I’m not working every day, but I do. Um, so it’s basically like three to four days a week that I am a labor and delivery nurse. And then basically at night or the days I have off, I do, um.

Or if I have a break or more of my breaks if I try to fit it in there, you know?

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Um, but yeah, that’s, um, then I’ll do my TikTok stuff, which, um, I actually only started a year ago. Um, my fiance was like, I loved watching reality tv, and then I was always searching for other people’s takes and stuff, and then also like calling my friends and being like, oh my God, da da da dah.

And then also telling him like, um, because he also watches with me now, so like, then I’m like, oh my God, blah, blah, blah. And he’s like, well, I mean, you’re always searching for it. You’re always watching people’s takes. Like, why don’t you like, do your own? And I was like, mm-hmm. Okay. Like, yeah, why not? So.

Christa Innis: Yes.

Antoinette: Yeah. And then it, the really fun.

The Reality TV Chaos Behind the Scenes

Christa Innis: What was, what was the first like, show or thing in pop culture that like either really took off or the first like content you made about, do you remember?

Antoinette: So the first content I made about was actually Love Island season six.

Christa Innis: Oh, okay.

Antoinette: Yeah. And uh, it honestly like, really, ’cause I was getting really revved up because I felt like people were like really misunderstanding Serena and being like, oh, she doesn’t like Cordell.

And I was like, I think she does, I think she’s just like really protecting herself. Um, and so then I I, I was like feeling fired up about it and I was like, okay, fine, I’m gonna do it on this one. Um, but I feel like something that, like, I feel the season it wasn’t Love Island that like, I think really spearheaded things.

Like, for me, like, I think I got a lot of exposure during The Love Is Blind DC um,

Christa Innis: Ooh, I’m trying, yeah. I, I watched Love Is Blind. Trying to remember who, who was on that one.

Antoinette: Um, uh, Lier. Uh, we call him. I, um, Tyler, is it Tyler? I feel like I’m not, I only call him Lier, but like, because he lied. Oh my God. He like had those three children and it was like, there was all this drama about like, um, how he had these two children, but he called them sper donors and then his fiance like, believed him and like there was all like, and then his baby mama came out to be like, no.

Like, the first one was a sperm donor situation, but the other two were not. Like, we made those ourselves.

Christa Innis: Wow.

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: I must have stopped right before that season ’cause they don’t look familiar to me. I just.

Antoinette: Okay.

Christa Innis: I like religiously watched it in the beginning and then like, I think I watched the first three seasons and then I just like shot. There’s like, oh my God, there’s a new season. Wait, there’s a new season. It was wild.

Antoinette: There’s so many, like it’s so, honestly I feel like there’s like almost three feels like, but I think there’s like two seasons a year. That’s what. I think there’s like two seasons a year, but it feels like there’s three. Like I feel like there’s always one coming out.

Christa Innis: There’s always, yeah. Because I think if you like sleep on it for a little bit, all of a sudden there’s another one.

Antoinette: Yeah. Yeah. Netflix is really on their zoom with it, honestly. Yeah.

Christa Innis: And the first one came out in like 2020. Right. Because I feel like I remember being locked down.

Antoinette: Yes.

Christa Innis: And I was like, I’m about to binge watch this show. I care what it is. It was that in Tiger King that I was like, what’s going my.

Antoinette: Oh my God. Yes. Oh my God. I forgot about that. That was so good.

Christa Innis: That was wild. My husband and I were just like, what is this?

Antoinette: That was insane. Oh, that was good tea. That was good tv. And we weren’t doing anything like we were locked in.

Christa Innis: We were living for, yeah, we were living for like, like.

Antoinette: You said, like any morsel.

Christa Innis: Yes.

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. The, the pods. ’cause they must have started. Because I feel like the pods were because of COVID. I don’t know, maybe it was written before that. I don’t know.

But those, I dunno, man. I feel like it really took off because of like, everyone was at home just watching TV and then they’re like, what’s this show? Okay, I guess we’ll watch it. And then it just blew you up on so.

Antoinette: And then blew up. And then Lauren and Cameron, I mean they’re still like the the, what’s it called?

Christa Innis: Yes. I love them.

Antoinette: You know, they’re just so, and now you know, Lauren’s pregnant, so that’s just so beautiful.

Christa Innis: Honestly, they’re just so that I love them. Yeah, from the beginning. ’cause they were just so like, and I always feel like the first season, they’re the most like real because they’re not in it all for the tv. ‘Cause they don’t know how big the show’s gonna be. They’re like, well let’s try it out. But seasons after, I feel like people just sign up. ’cause they’re like, oh, I’m gonna get social media famous.

Antoinette: A hundred percent. And we’re like really seeing that now, especially like. I, I think it was Love is blind. You really want them to be genuine because like, you’re gonna get married.

Like, you know, and I think some of these other ones, dating ones, it’s like, it doesn’t necessarily fully have to be genuine, but like, I do think a lot of them, like love is love island. I do think people, you know, people wanna be influencers, like, you know, but at the same time they’re pretty young and you’re not thinking of marriage or just thinking of dating.

So they could actually end up liking each other and dating. And it doesn’t have to be like, but like with Love is Blind. I do think people are like, they wanna be influencers, but then it’s like you end up having to think about like, are you willing to get engaged and married to somebody just to be an influencer?

That’s pretty big.

Christa Innis: That’s wild.

Antoinette: Yeah. The concept is wild to me. Like when they were like moving them into these apartments together, I was like, you don’t this, you don’t know this guy. Like

what are you doing? Nothing about them. You don’t just what they told you on the other side. Just like what we found about life.

Like, you know, nothing. Mm-hmm. Like whatever they decide to tell you. And I do think there’s a lot of people who like. In these later seasons into finding out some really messed up stuff. Really? And like, like one of the girls, I think on UK like Sabrina, she was like, he didn’t even have his own place. Like he was living with like roommates and then he like wasn’t even willing to go, like they were living in different parts of the uk.

He wasn’t even willing to go, go see her. But like, he couldn’t even afford to, so she didn’t even know that like, oh wait, like you actually really like aren’t in a place. I mean, it’s one thing if you like start dating someone and you know, they’re like financial status, but like, I really do think they should check.

I was like, are you even in, even in a place to be married, you know, to like, to put somebody first to even financially support yourself. Like in a good well, or like, not, there’s anything wrong with having roommates, but you know what I mean? Like, yeah. Like this guy I think was like 37 and like she, I think he didn’t really give all those details, which I think a lot of people would assume at three seven, like, okay, you might not have everything together, but you probably financially

are.

Christa Innis: A little more.

Antoinette: A little bit more

Christa Innis: established.

Antoinette: Established, yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: I think, or at least like con like. Communicate about like, Hey, I had some financial issues, or This is what’s going on here. Because there was that other guy, I don’t know what season this was, maybe two or three, where they got like towards the end and it came out. He had all this debt and there was something like he was lying about, I can’t remember their names, I can’t remember their names, but I know what you’re talking about.

We weren’t like parody a lot.

Antoinette: Social media. I know what you’re talking about. Wait, shoot. Uh, I don’t remember. Yeah, I dunno means there, but yeah, but there’s that too. And it’s like if you get married, your dad, your dad is their dad. Like so that can really mess somebody stuff up.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. That was, oh, there wa one of the first couples, Barnett.

Antoinette: Yeah. Amber and Barnett. Amber, yeah.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. They, that was something like, she was like, Hey, I have a lot of debt, and they like moved in together. He had a, he had a house already, but I think he like sold it to help pay for the debt. I mean, as far as I know, they’re still together, so, I mean.

Antoinette: Yeah. And they have a kid like, and they were like.

Christa Innis: Oh, I didn’t know that.

Antoinette: Yeah. They were child and everything and she, yeah, she, but she was upfront about it. Yeah, they, she, she was upset about it, so like, or married. So it’s one of those things where it’s like, if you know all that stuff and you’re still willing, then that’s, that’s one thing. Like she was upfront about it. He was still willing.

So it’s like, okay, cool. That’s, that’s on you, you know?

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like reality TV is just like wild to me. I feel like Bachelor, I used to watch Bachelor pretty regularly too, and then I kind of just like, then Bachelor in Paradise was like fun ’cause they all come together.

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: But I’ve kind of slowly stopped watching because I feel like they always just go on to be like, influencers and I’m just like, I don’t know.

I can’t really get into it anymore. It’s just.

Antoinette: Yeah. I honestly have never, I mean, I keep trying for mo mostly for content. Like, every time it comes out I’m like, okay, I’m gonna try and I just can’t get into it. So it’s like, you’ll, you’ll probably see every, you’ll probably see me, make me make one post and then just nothing else because I’m like, I just can’t get into it.

Like, I feel like it’s so overly produced too, and it just feels so fake. Like. You found 20 men or 20 women that are interested in this one person. Mm-hmm. Not saying that they couldn’t all necessarily, but like you didn’t, it’s not like they met this person. They were like, oh, the, you, they, the 20 people met this person, or you had them meet like a hundred people and these are the 20 that were like, oh, I’m actually interested in this person.

Like, you just found 20 people or whatever. Mm-hmm. I was like, it just doesn’t feel organic and then it’s just vying for one person. It just feels weird, honestly. Like.

Christa Innis: Totally.

Antoinette: I love dating shows, but that one, that’s just one I can’t get into.

Christa Innis: Yeah, no, and you make it such a good point because, and it, it brings me back, ’cause again, I haven’t watched probably in like five plus seasons.

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: But it’s like, they’re like, oh, he’s my dream guy, she’s my dream girl. And I’m like, you would’ve said that about any person they brought on as a bachelor master. Right. And be no unbeknownst to you, like last season they were a nobody. You know what I’m saying? Like, they came on as like a random person too. It’s like exactly. I dunno.

Antoinette: I was like, you literally know nothing about these people. Uh, most of ’em don’t even get like, really a lot of screen time. So it’s like you just saw like a couple dates with whoever they were with on last season, and then now you’re like, that’s your dream person. Like. You don’t know anything about them, like Yeah, and I feel like we also saw that with Jen, like obviously like ev, all those men basically didn’t even know it was gonna be Jen.

They thought it was gonna be, what’s her name, that other, that other girl that was like really famous on Joey’s season. They all thought it was gonna be a. Somebody a different bachelorette, and that set her up for complete failure, honestly. Like, and then, ugh, that scammer Devin, like that was whole, I mean, like, I like tried to, but I was like, I mostly was like scrolling, watching things because, because I was like, I keep up with it, but I’m like, I can’t watch a whole episode.

And I, I literally can’t.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I know every once in I went.

Antoinette: You’re like two hours long too. I’m like, ah, Jesus.

Christa Innis: I know it’s, well, there’ll be like three hour season finale and I’m like, who’s got the time?

Antoinette: But why? And most of it’s not even needed. I was like, okay, this really could have been cut down.

Christa Innis: Literally.

Antoinette: Like, there’s just like a lot of different montages with like music. It’s just so gimmicky.

Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s literally them picking out rings, walking down the street through tears in their eyes, picking out their dress. And I’m like, Ugh, come on. She’s like, speed it up. Speed it up. Please. We can do this all in 10 minutes.

Let’s just tell us who picked who she picked. Yes, I know. It’s wild. Like I just, yeah. I. Props with anyone that goes on. I just, that’s just not, yeah. Not my cup of tea. That’s why I like Bachelor in Paradise better. So I have a confession. I’ve never watched Love Island. Oh, it’s everywhere. But this last season makes me wanna watch because the, the viral like sounds and stuff.

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: But maybe I should try it. I’ve had people tell me to watch it.

Antoinette: I think you should. I think I would watch, like, watch season six of the U of USA. Okay. I think season five and season six of USA are really good. Um, the uk I also think season five of UK is really, really, really good. Okay. Um, UK It started in uk so there’s like a lot more seasons.

Um, even Love Island Australia, I can’t remember what season. It wasn’t the latest one I think, or it was the one before last was really, really good. So I do, I really love, love Island. I feel like it’s just. Like, you know, people are on there to be influencers, but it’s also just like a dating show. You know?

Like, I mean, they’re all dating shows, but you know what I mean? But it’s also just like, uh, people being there. They get to meet each other, they get to, and like, there are definitely, you’re gonna, like, a lot of them are good looking. You’re gonna like somebody, you know what I mean? They all, and then there’s just like more like organic drama as well as they don’t allow them to get drunk.

Like the, each day they get like maybe this amount of alcohol. That’s it. Okay. I like that. Um, so it also feels like not, so you’re not as worried about some of the, like, you know what I’m talking about? Like, uh, possible things that can happen if people are like inebriated, like, you know, that they’re making decisions sober.

Um, especially if there’s anything like sexual that goes on, right. Especially because with that, you know, you do end up in there, they do end up sleeping in the same bed as the guy, as a couple that they choose and all that stuff. So, um, and they do seem to have, like, even though I feel like this season in the USA, they did not do very good job of like really doing background checks. There’s a lot of racial stuff coming out. Um.

Christa Innis: I did think that about someone.

Antoinette: Yeah. So they really haven’t like, done good background checks on people, but like in general, I do think they have some pretty cool things in place, like consent wise, like there, there’s just a light that they have in the back of the bed.

Like, so if things start happening, both people have to press it to be like, I consent to what’s happening. And if it’s not pressed, then production gets involved in like no stuff.

Christa Innis: Oh, okay. That’s a good step. Because I remember hearing years ago, like bachelor, something like happened on one of the shows and they like limit them now to certain alcohol too, because people would be like getting inebriated and saying stuff or doing inappropriate things.

Um, that was a bachelor in Paradise thing too. I remember. They were like, oh, we’re only allowed to have like. Two drinks an hour or one drink an hour maybe. Oh, wow. Because yeah, you see, yeah.

Antoinette: With them it’s literally one glass and that’s it.

Christa Innis: Wow.

Antoinette: Like there’s, there’s a whole usually scenes at night where like there, or sometimes at night where you’ll see a scene where they like, are all going up to this table and it’s just like, there’s drinks sitting out already with like a little umbrella.

And that’s, that’s their serving of their alcohol, who they get.

Christa Innis: Okay.

Antoinette: Well that’s, I know. I was like, that’s, I, I just think it’s like, it makes you feel a little bit better, but not that like, there’s not any, some type of like, oh my God, these like crappy men on here, whatever. Right, right. But I was like, well, now you know that this person’s.

Crappy sober. Okay. Like they, they’re just.

Christa Innis: He got no excuse. No, no. I know. It’s crappy.

Antoinette: It’s not a drunk child. This is who this person is. Okay.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think that sounds better too when there’s like multiple, like couple possibilities and not just like one guy and a million girls and vice versa.

Yeah.

Um, and I feel like it also gives like the bachelor, bachelorette or whatever type of show it is when there’s just one guy fending for all these women. It gives them like this like false sense of like, oh, I’m the hottest guy in the room at all times. And it’s like, you’re the only guy, like they would find a rock hot next to you.

Antoinette: You know what I’m saying? Honestly though, like the, the only reason this is working, working is ’cause a, a scarcity mindset that is literally fabricated for this show. Yeah. If you were in any other situation, there would be plenty of other options. Like you are literally the only option that they’ve given.

Yes. So they are, they have to fight for you to stay on the show. Like, remember that? Yes. Like this is like, remember that they’re fighting to stay on the show. Okay.

Christa Innis: Yeah. They’re deprived of any other men, so they’re like, well, this is my dream. Yeah. It’s so, this is my dream man because he’s only man. Oh my God, that’s so funny.

I, yeah, I feel like we would just think too, too logically about that to be on, on a show.

Sisterly Showdown at the Bouquet Toss: Wedding Drama You Won’t Believe!

Okay. So. A little more back about your content. Like what kind of, so I know you’re kind of, you were always talking about your own banter and couldn’t really find anyone that talked about it the way you did. So when did you kind of start seeing it, like take off and do you remember like the first video that really like blew up or, uh, and you said you talked about Love Island, but like, was there one type of content that you’re like, this is it, like people are really connecting or resonating with what I’m saying?

Antoinette: Um, I feel, I mean like Love Island, I started, I feel like I do really feel like it was like love is Blind that like that season that, um, and I think even for me Too, I was around then, like I started like last August. Mm-hmm.

Like around last august for season six and then I. We’re still posting and stuff, but it wasn’t really like, I think last October was when That Love Is Blind came out October, November.

Um, and that’s also when I felt like I was also taking it more like, okay, I’m gonna post every day. I’m gonna like, really, really cover this whole season, you know? ’cause I didn’t even fully cover the whole season of Love Island. Uh, love Island season six. So with the elevens blind season seven, I was like, okay, I’m really gonna, like, I’m gonna post every day.

I’m gonna like, you know, and so I was like also being more intentional about posting. And so I don’t remember what Post was like went, but it, I do remember all of a sudden, like my views started going up. And then also I went from like, I feel like a thousand to like 10,000, like within, within that like between like end of October and November.

Um, and that’s when like, I. Like, like blew, blew up. Like, and I felt like then people were really like also sending me things like, oh, I need to know your take. I need to, and so I got started getting more of that, being like, oh, we haven’t, like, did you see this? Did you see that? Like, and people writing those type of comments, um, or like getting tagged in other people’s videos, like, you know, for certain stuff.

So yeah, I, it was definitely that, that, um, that I felt like I, I started to get a little bit more known and a little bit more, um, like settled in like my like niche or my niche and like my persona, you know?

Christa Innis: Yeah. So do you have any shows that you, like currently watch that you kind of, that you wish more people knew about so you could like commentate on them more? Or are you mainly in the reality like love dating show type?

Antoinette: Um, I mean, I watch a lot of different tv honestly. So like, um, I mean, like, I mostly comment on reality tv. Yeah. Um, and mostly like the, yeah. The loved ones. I try to get into the gaming ones. Like I tried to get into Big, big Brother. Mm-hmm. I just like, it’s, I don’t really understand it, you know, like, and it is also like, there seems to be so much going on, like, so I, I tried this and, and it, it failed.

I don’t know, it didn’t work out for me, but I’m gonna try again. Another, because I really, everyone watches Big Brother. I’m like, I really wanna understand it. Um, okay. But let me answer your question.

Christa Innis: Special Forces.

Antoinette: Special Forces. I haven’t watched that.

Christa Innis: No. I feel like you would like it. It’s like reality, but it’s so like. It’s intense. Like, and there’s reality. Okay, so it’s reality stars put on a competition show, so they’re competing to win special forces. And like they’ve had people like, like Hannah Brown or Nick Vile, or, I’m trying to think of other people. They’re bachelors, but like other, like, there’s, um, celebrities.

Um, so the woman that dated like Travis Kelsey, um, like ca what’s her name? Casey, gosh not, I think of her name. Kayla, Kayla, Nicole. So like, she was on, so like, people like that are big, like celebrities, um, athletes, reality TV stars, and they compete and it’s like really tough competition. They work with actual people from special forces and it’s like intense.

It’s good though ’cause you get the drama, but you also get, like, you see them like. Trying their best to like win at this competition.

Antoinette: Yeah. Ooh, okay. I will have to check that out. I mean, like, I love anything with like drama, honestly. Yeah. I mean, also, like a lot of times on my content, I do like random TikTok drama.

Like, you know, like I, I think there’s also a lot stuff there that like randomly gets flown up for. Like, like I did the Louis Vuitton dress chocolate Louis Vuitton chocolate Yes. Drama. Um, and the girl with the, the dermatology thing that happened, that was like not washing her face, not doing anything. Her

Christa Innis: Yes. Whatever happened with that, was that out?

Antoinette: Um, she got a deal with Sarah V and started washing her face, basically.

Christa Innis: I could not tell if this was like a, um, what’s it called? Where they try to get people mad. What’s it called? Uh.

Antoinette: Rage bait.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I couldn’t tell if it was rage bait.

Antoinette: I couldn’t, I couldn’t either. Part of me feels like it was like, but then they also found like an old post, like a year ago of her having done the same thing, like, but from Reddit. So I don’t know. But Sarah v got involved and like got her to put moisturizer on, and then it started falling off, which I’m like, yeah, because you’re putting, it’s like, not like, uh, like yeah, it’s gonna fall off.

Like, but you have literally not touched your face and you’re building up dirt and old skin cells. Like, I mean, that’s, that’s what’s gonna happen. I mean, I also felt, you know what I mean? So it was like, so like I also do stuff like that where like, so my stuff is like, I have a DD, it’s a little bit a DD too, where I’m like, whatever I’m interested in.

Right. Whatever. I’m interested in that moment. Um, but it is definitely more like reality TV drama and then, um, like TikTok type of drama. Yeah. But I am interested in, like right now I’m watching Huntington Wives on Netflix, and I’m, I was thinking about like. Yes,

Christa Innis: I just heard about this. How is it?

Antoinette: It’s so good. Yeah. It’s so, so, so good. And like sometimes I will, like, I don’t always do, I don’t, for me it’s like not, it’s always, not always for views. So like, maybe I won’t get a lot of views on it. ’cause like, that’s not necessarily my main base. But like, um, like even severance, I did, I did a lot of posts on that because I love that show.

Okay. And I just wanted to talk, talk about it. I was like, somebody will, I was like, I just wanna talk about it.

Christa Innis: So people will come across it.

Antoinette: And yeah, some people will come across it, but like, yeah. So I do watch other things and so I, I guess, yeah, I guess sometimes I do wish that, like, I think it’s hard with the algorithm or from, or whatever, but like I could.

Like, find more people, it would be easier for people to find me that if I’m like doing stuff outside of the, like, reality tv, TikTok, drama, when I, when I am making those con those contents.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. It’s hard to know like what’s gonna like, take off or what people are gonna like, resonate with. Yeah. But that like TikTok drama stuff, man, that like, it goes like fast.

It’s like you gotta like hop on it fast because before you know it, if I don’t, don’t scroll for a couple days. ’cause sometimes like there’s like weeks where I just post and I’m like, I, I don’t have time to scroll or whatever. Yeah. Scroll. I’m like, wait, what’s this drama with so-and-so, what does she do to her?

And I’m like, okay, I have to find out who these people are. It’s wild.

Antoinette: Yes, yes. And some people are really, really on it. And I, and I know for me there’s, at first like I try to like for, you know, I have my. You know, some people it’s a little bit easier to do. I know like there’s some people I follow where it’s like, this is their full-time job.

So like they, they can scroll most of the day. And then like, for me it’s like, it’s not so like, I can’t, so like I, it’s like some stuff, like I’ll have some people write and be like, I want your ticket. I was like, I missed it. Like I missed it. I’m sorry. I was like, I literally do not have time right now.

Like, whatever was my schedule at that time, I’m like, I don’t have time to even comment on this. Like, I’m so sorry. Like, I’m catching babies. Like .

****************************************

Christa Innis: You were out there quite literally saving lives being, I know when you first told me you’re a labor and delivery nurse to her, I was like, how do you do it all?

I was like, you were literally an angel on earth. Oh my gosh.

Antoinette: I’m not sleeping very much.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. Like, I, I always knew nurses were amazing people. My grandma was a, was an ER nurse. Oh. And so I’m like, I always like heard about like, you know, working in the ER and everything, but then it’s like once I had my baby and I was like.

These nurses are just incredible. Like, you guys are just like amazing. So how, this is totally side note and everything, but like how did you get into labor and delivery and like, I mean ?

Antoinette: Well, yeah. I mean, so at first, like, my first like nursing job was actually as a transplant nurse. So I worked, um, inpatient for people on, on a unit that just did, um, uh, what was it called?

Kidneys, livers, um, and pancreatic, some lung transplants, things like that. Mm-hmm. Um, but when I was in nursing school and I did my rounds, I like, I was like, when I, we did our labor rounds, I was like, I had like one. One shift where we like actually got to be in like the labor unit. We did a lot on Mother, baby.

Um, and I was like, oh, this is really fun. Like, I thought I would, like really enjoy it, but I was also a little bit scared because, you know, you can, some stats stuff can happen too, like losses and things. And I’m a very empathetic person. Like I’m one of those people, like, I will cry at movies, I’ll cry.

Like thinking about certain things will start to make me cry honestly. Like I, like I fox in the hound. Even just thinking about them talk will make me cry like you did. So I, I like really empathize very well with people. Like, so I, I was a little bit nervous, so like when I went to go get my first nursing job, I was like, I actually did apply for labor, but then I turned it down because I was like, I don’t know if I can handle it if something happened.

Like, but then I kept thinking about it and I kept thinking about it. Um, so then I was like, okay, I just need to do it. So then I stayed in the same hospital, but I just ended up applying and like, but it was basically ’cause I just kept thinking about it and I was like, I’m like just. I’m really interested.

Like, I was like, obviously I should like just do it then. Um, and so then, you know, it has been really good. Obviously when sad things happened, it says still really like, you know, touch me. Um, but I am able to deal with it. Uh, but like, you know, like everybody, there’s, it just is something that happens, but there’s just so many beautiful moments that happen.

There’s so, it’s so many, like being able to be there for women when they’re going through this, um, or be there for mothers, you know, not everyone identifies as women, but like, uh, being there for mothers when they, when they’re going through this, um. It just feels so beautiful and it, I really love being able to support that process, being able to support the baby and like just being there for that whole thing. So.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh, I love that. No, I love hearing like how people got into nursing and stuff and like their department because, um, yeah, like I said, I was just like, I used to work for a mom and baby burn, and so like, I would talk to like, um, nurses and doulas and, and oh, you know, just people in the field and stuff.

So I’m always just so curious about it. I love, I love that, that kind of stuff. Yeah. Just a little, little side note, but yeah, why not?

Antoinette: I love that.

Christa Innis: Okay. Let’s get into the wedding portion of.

Antoinette: Okay. I’m excited. I didn’t know. I love drama. I was let as.

Christa Innis: Yes, we, we live for the drama here. It’s a good, uh, um, mental break from, from the world and all that, but, okay.

So starting off, do you have any like wild wedding stories or wedding stories that come to mind when you, when you first think of weddings?

Antoinette: Okay. Like, it’s not necessarily wild, but I, when it’s about me, then when, and it was something I was like younger, so I don’t even know why I was doing this, but like I, it was during my sister’s. My oldest sister’s wedding, and when it was the throwing the bouquet part, like, you know, we’re all like vying for it. And then it ends up being, I look up and it’s actually me and I’m like pulling, like, pulling, like trying to get this. And I, I think I just locked in. I was like, I don’t even know why. I’m like, I, what, how old was I?

Even like, I feel like I was like 17. Like I was like, I’m next. What was I doing? Like mean? Like, but I was like, I was like, I’m fighting for this. And then I look up and it was actually my other sister, like, so, and everybody else was gone.

Christa Innis: Do you guys actually pull poll at this?

Antoinette: Yes, we were pulling at this. I just feel like we locked in. Like, I don’t even think, I don’t even know what I was thinking, like, but I was like, I’m getting this. I, I got very competitive at the, but we both did apparently. Um, my other sister were sometimes I actually dating somebody, you know, and she was a little bit older so like, you know, like made more sense.

It just made more sense. Um. But it’s so funny to like watch the video ’cause it’s just like everybody else has gone and just watching us like literally pull for this thing and then like we, I look up and I was like, oh. And I let it go. I was like, oh. I was like, so sorry.

Christa Innis: Something just came over me. I’m sorry.

Antoinette: Yeah. I was like, I dunno what’s going on.

Christa Innis: Like, like the sister thing. We’ll just let them

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Figure it out.

Antoinette: Yeah. Gosh.

Christa Innis: I’ve been to weddings where people get pretty like, vicious over like the, the bouquet toss or like push people out the way. And I’m like, yeah guys, so it’s gonna be okay.

Antoinette: It’s, it’s gonna be fine. It’s gonna be fine. I, but sometimes it’s just a competitive nature, you know? That takes over. I, I can’t tell you what I was thinking. I don’t think I was, I think, I think I just had it and I was like, it would.

Christa Innis: You’re like, okay, you can take it.

Antoinette: Yeah. I was like, oh, ooh. My bad dresser.

Christa Innis: It’s so funny ’cause I remember going like to weddings in like my early twenties, so I don’t even know if I was with my now husband yet, but like, I’d be at weddings and like I was in that mind frame where I was like, I don’t wanna get married for a while.

And the bouquet would come and I would just look at it and just step back. Yeah. I’m like, someone else take it. There’s been a few weddings like that where like no one grabs it and I’m like, oh man. We’re all just like.

Antoinette: Yeah. Like everyone’s like, oh, don’t, don’t jinx me. Yeah. Like we’re not

Christa Innis: Times have changed. Yeah, exactly. We’re waiting a little longer these days. No. Um, that’s so funny. Um, oh my gosh. I love that because, uh, it’s one of those things where like people are either like so into like the bouquet toss and garter toss and other people are like, no. Like, I always ask my audience like, what are your unpopular opinions?

And I would say like, I. Most of the time one of those come up as like, don’t do it. Like, people are like, don’t do the garter toss. It’s weird. Don’t do the bouquet toss. It’s starts fights. And I’m just like, it’s interesting how, how the dynamic has kind of changed on those.

Antoinette: Yeah. I do think, like, I think it’s one of those things where I think it can start, right?

But also I think it’s one of those things where like, it’s very easy to like get dangerous really quickly because like, yeah, people are like jumping and like, you know, there could be an elbow. Like, it’s not even like you’re trying to like do, but it’s like, I, I think for my own, I don’t think I probably would do it.

Like, just ’cause I don’t, I don’t know if anyone that’s coming would fight over it, but like, I also just like, don’t want any accident ac you know, any accidents to happen over, like just throwing this thing.

Christa Innis: I know I, I didn’t do them at my wedding and I was just telling someone a while back, but I was like, honestly, like I am not very um. Athletic. Yeah. So I could see myself throwing the bouquet, hitting someone in the face, separation, breaking something. So I’m like, not just not throwing anything.

Antoinette: But it might not even go where everybody is.

Christa Innis: How embarrassing would that be? I throw it. I don’t.

Antoinette: Exactly and I don’t want be embarrassed.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I’m like, let’s just take that away. Um, yeah. I love that.

From TikTok Stunts to Bridal Party Boundaries: Wedding Drama Gets Real

Christa Innis: Okay. Here are some hot takes that people have sent in and we can just kind of share our opinions on them. Okay. Um, this says. If you need a content day during your wedding week, you’re not planning a marriage, you’re planning a pro, you’re producing a mini series.

So they’re saying, like, I, I’ve heard of this more, more and more now with weddings. Like people are so concerned with the overall look that they’ll like, do, like, they’ll plan out content like during their video or during their day. Like they’ll film stuff or do like, tiktoks have a TikTok section. Um, I’ve never been a part of one that does that, but yeah, either this person must have seen it.

Antoinette: So they’re saying if you’re planning con, then you’re, what? What’s that last part they said?

Christa Innis: You’re not thinking about planning a marriage, you’re more about producing, like producing something like a mini series.

Antoinette: Hmm. You know what I can see, I feel like I have two ideas about it. I can see how like, yes, I feel like that could be true for a lot of people where it’s like, if you’re so focused on that and.

Also like doing different con, I mean, I think financially too, like how much money are you putting into this? Are you thinking about your life later? All that stuff. But then I also can think like, hey, but maybe somebody is like a, like they really like tiktoks. They really like, you know what I mean? Like that’s kinda like their thing.

They’re like, they’re always doing like content stuff. So then why wouldn’t they have that to be a part of their wedding too? Because it’s representing them.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Um, and if this is how you envisioned it, I don’t think that’s a big deal. As long as like, as long as it’s not like, oh my God, like this, this, okay, you guys don’t do this TikTok, right.

Blah, blah, blah. Like, right. But if it’s like, if it’s just for fun and you’re like, I want my day to be full of like different times that I can capture the day and I want. Then, I don’t know. Do you boo?

Christa Innis: Yeah. I think if the other parties are okay with it and it’s like your day and you like, tell people we’re gonna do this, it’s fine.

I’ve seen Have you seen, did you see the TikTok drama talking about TikTok drama? There was a photographer that No, she was, this is okay. She was a makeup artist that was hired for a wedding. But, um, and there were other photo, there were photographers there, but she had her own plans for tiktoks to be filmed during the day.

So like, literally they were done with makeup and she is going around doing, having the bridesmaids and bride do tiktoks while they have like another timeline.

Antoinette: Wait, wait, wait. This is the ma and she was like, involved. Yes, I know exactly what you’re talking about.

Christa Innis: And then she caught in her car saying they treated her horribly kicking.

Antoinette: Yeah. Honestly, this is one of, one of my things that also blew up for me. Really? Like in the way, in the really beginning for me. Yes. Um, I know exactly. Oh my God, I remember this just of it. She was unhinged. Yeah, she was unhinged. Like even in the first look, she was like, she was there and in the photos making it all about her.

Yes. And the brides were crying. She’s like, okay guys. Okay. Like, that’s too much crying. I was like, why aren’t you still here? Yeah. She stayed the whole day. She stayed and then yeah, she kept making them do tiktoks. Then when it was time for like the after party for the reception, she was still trying to get tiktoks.

Yes. I, and then they tried to kick her. Yeah. Then they tried to kick her out and then she was like, she left and then she came back. She was like, no, you know what? I’m not gonna let them like bully me. And she went back. I was like, yes. I was like, no. It was crazy. I was like, I don’t understand why you’re not getting it, but you, she was like, oh my God, we were having such a good time.

We were kiking. And I was like, not for you to stay the whole day. No’s not for you to stay the whole day.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I didn’t make any said, oh, the groomsmen? Or, she said someone invited her and they were probably just like being like friendly. Like, oh oh, like in, no.

Antoinette: Yeah. Basically like, the bride, like, I think was like, kept being like, oh, okay.

Oh, okay. Like, and I think she like, just was just very kind, you know, like, and like maybe just didn’t wanna like do any confrontation. But then I, it wasn’t until like the groom later at the reception. Was like, okay. No. ’cause he was tired. Like, ’cause he didn’t actually agree to any of the things that the bride Right.

You know what I mean? Um, had said yes to and then the bride was like, no, no. Like he’s just upset. It’s okay. But then she left and it’s like, why didn’t you take the hint from the groom? Like, she’s like, well you know what, my bride, that’s what she said. She’s like, my bride wants me there. It’s like, no, she doesn’t.

Okay. But also it’s the groom’s wedding too. And he asked you to leave?

Christa Innis: Yeah. And leave how awkward that is. Like she’s probably just like, the bride’s probably just trying to enjoy her day. Doesn’t wanna start. Yes. ’cause in our minds, you know, it’s like, oh, I don’t wanna start drama. But it’s like, no, she’s literally viol, not violating, but like crossing all the boundaries at the wedding.

Antoinette: All the boundaries.

Christa Innis: She’s the makeup artist. She’s hired, she did her job. And I feel like she was even like drinking or something during makeup. Yes. Showing her drinking. Yes. All these things. And then what kills me is then like. She makes this video bashing the bride and groom showing the, like all their video footage before their, like, before they even posted to make herself look like the victim.

And I’m like, no.

Antoinette: Oh my God. I knew it. So left for her. Like no one would have even known about it if she didn’t make that video. Like the bride and groom, because they aren’t even social media people. They would not have even, no one even known about it.

Mm-hmm. She could have just have ruined this wedding and nobody would’ve known.

Yeah. But then she went online. I know she made this whole series blasted them, put their videos, their faces. Oh my God. That was crazy. Even like the bridesmaids were getting in the comments and being like, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like this is not okay. And then somebody else, like there was another MUA that had worked with her in the past and she’s like, oh no, she’s unhinged.

She’s unhinged. Like, oh yeah. So much came out about that woman.

Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s, that’s wild when you’re putting your content in front of your client, like Yes. That’s the thing that like, like obviously like I love social media, I love like the connections and stuff, but you have to always put like your job first.

There’s so many people that are like, oh, I wanna create content. And it’s like, well this is not the place or the time. Like as a makeup artist Yeah. Do their before and after and be like, Hey, can I post this? You know? But you have to always check in with your client first. They might not wanna be posted and Yeah, they might not want you hanging out all day and.

Antoinette: Yeah. But she kept being like, well, they agreed to content, but they didn’t agree to like every single content that you like. I think she probably thought you were just doing the look content that a lot of like people do where it’s like, okay, they did the before and then they do the after. I didn’t think, she didn’t think you were gonna be following her around all day trying to get her.

It was like, I can’t remember. I can like hear the song in my head, but I can’t think of. I can’t say it all, but there was like, I can remember the TikTok thing that she was trying to make and she was just trying to go throughout the day. The groom, you were never even a part of the grooms party, but then you involved them. ‘Cause you’re like, well I need the grooms. And I was like, that’s when you know you’ve gone too far. Does it, does the content fit with the service that you’re doing? Right. I think you have to think about that. And does it fit within the timeframe of the service that you’re doing or are you going beyond that?

You know, also, like maybe you, if it’s something where like, I don’t, things are taking long, maybe you won’t get your content. Like, but exactly what you said, like the service should come first. Yeah. And then the content, like I, you know, like, but someone agreeing to make tiktoks with you doesn’t mean they’re agreeing to like literally every single thing that you came up under the sun.

Christa Innis: Yeah, no. 100%. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I can’t believe that. Just like came back like that. That was one of those where like, I think I took a few days off and I came back on and like I got a couple messages. Someone tagged me, they’re like, Christa, can you please make a skit about this? I didn’t. I think I just kind of talked about it.

’cause I was like, it’s so fresh. Like, I don’t know, like this is kind of wild. Like yeah, I watched all the videos and I was like, oh my gosh, this is an unhinged, like seriously insane. Yeah.

Um, okay. This last hot take says reality TV. Weddings have convinced people that bridal parties are unpaid extras. Oh.

Antoinette: Um, interesting reality. Tv. Bachelor parties, they said weddings. Oh, our unpaid extras. Is this more like, I think they were saying that like people are taking advantage of the bridal party basically.

But I feel like people have been doing that for like, even before reality TV stuff.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I don’t actually reality tv.

Antoinette: Yeah. I think it’s just some people do take advantage of the bridal party. Um, I think some people don’t realize that like, yeah, of course, like these people wanna be here for you. Um, but like, it’s not, and, and it’s like, it’s, it’s not like in, you can’t just like ask like endless amount of things. Um, you can’t also just ask people to like put all their money into your wedding or into like the bridesmaids dress or whatever, or, or whatever the makeup that they have to do or, you know, what have you.

Um, also like that whole year is not literally about you to. Everybody else in your life. Yeah. It’s like, it’s about you for you and your spouse, but like everybody else’s life is still going on. I mean, like, I have things to do. We got things to do, but I do know that I feel like there’s a lot of people who are like, you’re not really supporting me right now.

Like, I feel like you’re not doing enough for the way I was like, what are you talking about, dude? Like, I have a life. Like I will help you, but like, I’m not making a full-time job out of helping you for your wedding.

Christa Innis: Right. The world doesn’t stop because you’re getting married. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I’ve seen wild stories where bridesmaids get mad or brides get mad because their bridesmaids are pregnant or their bridesmaids get, uh, also get engaged and it’s like you don’t get claims to the whole there, there.

I mean like I had two, uh, pregnant bridesmaids and I was like, don’t feel like you have to come to anything. Your baby and your health comes first.

Antoinette: Like yeah, I mean life happens. Like, if it’s not, like, let’s say like you had like a destination wedding and one of the people got pregnant, like on like, if, if it’s that time for me, my life for me that I wanna get pregnant, I’m gonna, I’m not gonna like be like, oh no, we gotta hold off a year.

Yeah. ’cause so and so’s, you know, just in case, like, that’s not what’s gonna happen. And I think that’s absolutely crazy when people do that. I think that’s like, literally you need to get your head checked. That’s not cool. Yeah. Like that. Like you’re, you’re way too self-centered. But I think a lot of times it’s like there are probably signs about that person.

Before, yeah. You know, before the wedding there were probably signs about the person that they were pretty selfish. Mm-hmm. Um, and then it just went to like, kind of the nth degree when they felt like they had an excuse to be their most selfish shelf.

Christa Innis: Yes. Like they hear it like, oh, it’s your bride’s day.

Antoinette: So they’re like, yep. The court. Yes, exactly. They’re like, okay, well now I get to be exact you know.

Christa Innis: Here’s my notebook. Yes. Oh my God, that’s so true. Because yeah, you hear it time and time again. It’s like, oh, it’s a bride’s day. It’s your moment. So then they’re like, oh, I’ve, I’ve been waiting for this.

Antoinette: Yes.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: But it’s not, that’s the funny part. It’s your day. It’s your day. Not your year. Not your year, your day.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And we gotta have, we gotta have, respect people’s life and their boundaries too.

Antoinette: Yes. A hundred percent.

Wedding Drama Rapid Fire: From Jealous Bridesmaids to Reality TV Proposals!

Christa Innis: Okay. Before we get to this week’s wild wedding story that we’ll react to, um, we’ll do a little quick rapid fire.

How does that sound? Okay. In addition, okay. Would you rather deal with a jealous bridesmaid or an attention hogging groomsman?

Think hard, long, and hard about this one.

Antoinette: Yeah. Um, I guess an attention hogging groom has been, I guess, a little bit. ’cause I feel like I, for me personally, I feel like I would be a lot easier to talk to that person and be like, tone it down. Yeah. Like I, ’cause I would not have a problem be like, I love you so much, but you gotta tone it down. You’re doing too much.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Versus somebody who is jealous. I don’t know if I would know that they’re being jealous or if they’re like, you know, kind of being stink face or whatever. Or like, or like eat subconsciously or consciously sabotaging things. So I feel like I wouldn’t want that type of negativity.

Christa Innis: Yep.

Antoinette: On my day.

Christa Innis: That’s a great point. Yeah. Um, would you rather your wedding TikTok flop? So like if something bad happened at your wedding or, or your honeymoon get leaked?

Antoinette: Uh oh. Would I rather have a, so I either the TikTok I have be like a flop, like someone said, let, like my wedding was a flop.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like if you had like a wedding TikTok, um, like maybe you like, posted about your wedding as a TikTok and it didn’t do well, is how I’m reading it.

Yeah.

Um, or your honeymoon, like videos from your honeymoon or photos from your honeymoon get leaked. I don’t know. Like Oh, like your,

Antoinette: I I was, I know. I was like, right. I was like, what? I was like, what type of leak? I was like, what we, I was like, I was like, what are we talking about? I’m nervous I didn’t write these.

Um, I guess like, I wouldn’t mind having a TikTok flop. I probably would think it was funny.

Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s ’cause it’d be more for me anyways if I.

Antoinette: Yeah. Just in case. There could be lots of different meanings for the leak. I’d rather have nothing leaked, just to be clear. Yeah. Just to, just to like, just in case nothing leaked.

Christa Innis: I know, I feel like the word leaked just sounds like celebrity leak. Like Yeah. Oh, there, this got leach. Um, okay. Would you rather have your wedding go viral for the wrong reasons? Or have no one shared at all?

Antoinette: No one shared at all.

Christa Innis: Yeah, same. Would you rather find out your fiance applied to a reality dating show after your engagement or that your proposal was filmed for a pilot episode you didn’t know? These are wild.

Antoinette: What the, is this, I guess, um, the film for, for, for a pilot? I didn’t know because like what the actual f*ck if you just, sorry. With the actual flip, if you just, I didn’t know if you could curse something. I was like, it’s all good. Okay. If you just, like, you got engaged to me and then you just applied to a dating show?

Christa Innis: Dude, there’s been people on Bachelor that has come out, like they have like girlfriends at home. This happens and you, the thing is why I’m sure, well, cheaters, I feel like, just don’t think about this, but they’re like, yeah, you don’t think it’s ever gonna come out. Exactly. You don’t thinking at home, like clicking and being like recognize.

Antoinette: Thank you. The internet with the, like, have you not? Are you new?

Are you new to the world now? Like the internet is like, especially with TikTok, things like information moves by fast. People are detectives. Okay. If you’re on there, they’re gonna find you and everything about you. So. Like, people always think like, oh, I can just hide it. No, you can’t. No. It’s no one else has been able to.

Christa Innis: Someone’s always watching, especially nowadays. Oh my gosh, Coldplay concert.

Antoinette: Yes, exactly. Exactly.

Christa Innis: Someone’s always watching. Yes.

Antoinette: And the funny, if they had just not ducked, if they had just not ducked, that wouldn’t have been a thing.

Christa Innis: Yes. Seriously. No one would’ve even thought twice about it. But the funny thing is, someone, do you see the behind the scenes, someone was behind them and realized later, like they had videos of them like kissing before that happened. Oh, they were like literally behind the couple.

Antoinette: Yeah. I didn’t see that. Ah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. So I’m like, oh my God. But like literally, they would’ve just been like, oh, it’s a cute couple. Yeah. Never would’ve thought anything about if they weren’t like, whoa. Yeah, exactly. And yeah, it wouldn’t, the smelling front. Oh my gosh.

Antoinette: No. Right. Yeah. It wouldn’t have been a thing.

Christa Innis: All right, last one. Would you rather have your wedding edited by Netflix or produced by Bravo?

Antoinette: Ooh. Edited by Netflix or produced by Bravo, um, I guess edited by Netflix, produced by Bravo. Ooh. I don’t know, dude, that, that’s kind of like, I, I like Netflix shows, so let’s just say edit it by Netflix.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I like it.

A Tale of Jealousy, Selfishness, and Boundaries!

All right, let’s get into this week’s wedding story submission. Are we, we still okay on time? I know we’re, yeah.

Antoinette: Yeah. No, I’m good. I love bantering.

Christa Innis: I feel like we’re doing a.

Antoinette: Yeah, no, I’m having fun. No, we’re good.

Christa Innis: Okay, cool.

Antoinette: Okay. I’m off today, so we’re.

Christa Innis: We got time. Alright, cool. Yeah.

Um, okay. So as always, I have not read this, this will be a blind reaction. Let’s just see how we go. Feel free to stop me if you want. Um, otherwise we’ll, just as you know,

Antoinette: I might have questions. I’ll let you know.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, all names have been changed, so here we go.

This story starts about two and a half years ago. Around six months before I got engaged. I was on a pontoon boat with my friends, their boyfriends, and my now fiance Ryan. One of my friends, Brooke, asked Ryan if he had any plans to propose in the future.

At that point, we’d been together for a little over a year, so it was still fairly early. But we had already talked about marriage, so it wasn’t a totally random question. Ryan told Brooke and my other friend Erica, that he actually planned on proposing in August, which was about two months from when they were having this conversation. I was on the other side of the pontoon boat and had no idea this was even happening. Next thing I know, I look over and see Erica sulking in the corner of the boat, glued to her phone and refusing to talk to anyone. We were only about an hour into a six hour rental, so things weren’t off to a great start.

I asked Brooke if she knew why Erica was upset, and she told me that when the topic of proposals came up, Erica made a comment to her boyfriend who was also on the boat, and they’d been together for three years at the time. Um. Asking when he was going to propose and he replied with something dismissive like, don’t hold your breath. Ooh. Which upset her. Yeah. Like then starts the comparison, right? Yeah. Uh, for the rest of the rental, Erica sulked and barely spoke.

After we got off the boat, she immediately returned to her hotel. Instead of joining the group for dinner the next day, she texted me asking why I didn’t make more of an effort to comfort her. I explained that it wasn’t fair for her to exec expect me to come spend my entire birthday consoling her over something I had no control over.

Okay. Fast forward six months, Ryan and I get engaged on a beach. Brooke was there because she helped Ryan plan and execute the proposal. Afterward, Ryan and I FaceTimed friends in film me to share the news. When I FaceTimed Erica to show her the ring, oh gosh. The first thing she said to me was, Ew. He let you have red nails for your proposal. Jealousy. Not a pretty.

Antoinette: What the, oh my God. That’s not a friend.

Christa Innis: This is kind of ironic. ’cause yesterday I did like a, like a different kind of video and I was like, pretending to be, I said, your best friend of me just found out you’re engaged.

Antoinette: Oh, I think I saw that. I saw that.

Christa Innis: I said something like that. I’m like, oh, I didn’t know you liked that. Kind of, you know? Yes. That’s literally like that kind of comment, like why would you say that to someone?

Antoinette: That is so rude. Like, and I feel like jealousy is a normal emotion. I do like, I don’t like, people are like, oh, we, I was like, I don’t think you should like down people for having feelings of jealousy. It just is like information for you. Like it’s not necessarily that you dislike the person or whatever. It’s like there’s something going on with you that you are that. You’re looking for. Do you what I mean? And that that person has, it doesn’t necessarily mean that’s not something you can have. It’s just like, it’s some, it’s information. That’s how I think of it more. It’s information. And if you don’t actually take in that information, then I think jealousy can get out of hand. Obviously this person, jealousy got out of hand. Yes. ’cause for her to be outwardly so rude and dismissive to her friend during such a, a beautiful moment. And the fact that she also thinks of you, thinks of you so much that she calls you during that beautiful moment. And that’s the first thing you say is like, what the flip? Yeah. Like you need to get, you need to internally look.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. Like you’re, yeah, you’re letting that jealousy like take over you when it’s like, yeah. You could have like feelings of being like, oh, I wish that was me first, or that yeah. Kind of sucks, but I wouldn’t be really happy for my friend because she’s my friend.

Antoinette: Yeah, a hundred percent.

Christa Innis: Um, it says I was in such a good mood that I brushed it off. Okay, good. At least Elisa didn’t ruin the moment.

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Um, she gave me a half-hearted congratulations. And we moved on later. Our families had planned a small celebration at our house. Erica and her boyfriend came out but barely said anything to me and left about an hour later.

I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, assuming she might be having an off day, despite everything. I still asked her to be one of my bridesmaids. There we go. That gut feeling like she’s already showing signs. Um, when I started organizing hangout so the bridesmaid could get to know each other, Erica always made excuses not to come.

Her reasons ranged from anticipating she’d be too tired or needing to attend a half birthday party for a six month old. What’s a half birthday? Oh, a six month old, like half birthday. I get it. Um, to simply not liking who does.

Antoinette: Six and a six and a half?

Christa Innis: No, I was like, wait, what? Um, to simply not liking the location.

Weird. Not going to your friend to hang out ’cause you don’t like the location.

Okay. While planning the bachelorette trip, I mentioned feeling sad that one of my bridesmaids Tessa wouldn’t be able to make it because she lives in Arizona. Erica responded, I’m so jealous of Tessa living in another state gets her out of so many of these events.

Okay. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

Antoinette: Okay. Yeah.

Christa Innis: I wanna be here.

Antoinette: Okay. Yeah. Honestly, I I, if it was me, I’d be like, girl girly. What’s going on?

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Like what is happening here? Like you’ve been saying, I’ve been letting it go, but you’ve been saying way too many things. We need to talk.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Like, ’cause that’s just rude. Like, that’s just rude. You don’t have to come, like, don’t do me any flipping favors. Okay. Okay. Like, don’t do me any, this what.

Christa Innis: You’re gonna ruin it being there. I’d rather.

Antoinette: Yeah. You are ruining it. Like you’re ruining everything. You’re making me feel bad. Like you’re, you’re putting in digs, like trying to make me feel bad about myself.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. That’s, oh gosh. She’s like putting all the signs out there.

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Um, okay. She says I wish I had a solid excuse not to come to the bachelorette trip, so that that was her end. That’s it. Yeah. That’s your excuse. Like don’t come friend.

Antoinette: You don’t need, I’d be like, you don’t even need one. You’re uninvited. Yeah. It’s done. Done.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh.

Antoinette: That is, I would literally be like, don’t you? I would literally say that most likely I’d be like, you don’t even need one you’re uninvited.

Christa Innis: If someone’s gonna be that mopey and like.

Antoinette: Oh yeah, I wish I had a solid excuse. And you’re saying that to me.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Yeah. No.

Christa Innis: There you go. Bye.

Antoinette: Yeah. Yeah. That, that’s your excuse right? There you have it.

Christa Innis: Um, okay. She goes frustrated. I said, if you don’t wanna come, then you should stay home. Okay, good. She replied that would, that she would def look bad if she didn’t go.

Antoinette: So you look bad by not by saying this, you already, what do you mean You obviously don’t care about looking bad? ‘Cause you look bad right now.

Christa Innis: Yeah. How can you really care about looking bad if you say that? So it’s like, it’s more about everybody else, what everyone else thinks versus your best friend or one.

Antoinette: Yeah. You don’t care about me or what I think because you’re saying all this to my face. Yeah, to my face. Like, you’re being rude and mean to my face.

So it’s not, it’s not about me. It’s like, okay, what other people would it look bad for then?

Christa Innis: Yeah, exactly. Oh my gosh.

Um, while shopping for bridesmaid dresses, Erica told me she struggles when people get married before her. Really? Did they? Right. Not also, why are we telling her this at bridesmaid dress shopping again, like a wedding event for her. Don’t go if you’re gonna make it about you.

Antoinette: Like honestly, at this point, this is where the introspection we need to come in. And it’d be like, I’m in a weird place. I can literally, I don’t know why, but I can literally not be happy for you right now. Mm-hmm. I want to be, I know I should be, but I’m in a bad place.

Yeah. Like, honestly, I should just be like. I can’t do this and cut it out, like mm-hmm. But not, I feel like a lot, not a lot of people are like self-aware like that, where it’s like, I’m just not able to do this.

Christa Innis: Yeah. If it’s gonna bother you that much and every little thing you’re gonna bring up how you’re not married yet, or you’re not engaged yet, that’s a problem.

Antoinette: Yeah. You’re gonna be rude to your, to your friend. It’s, this is supposedly your friend.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Like, you’re gonna be rude to them, put them down, make them feel bad about all the events that are happening around this wedding. Like, then just, then just see yourself out, like, you know what I mean? Like, be a friend and don’t go.

Right. Like that would be the way you’re being a friend. If like I’m, if I’m, I’m literally not able to control myself at this point because I’m so jealous that I need to not be involved.

Christa Innis: Yeah. 100%.

Um, she goes, especially when they haven’t been with their partners as long as she has.

Antoinette: Oh my gosh.

Christa Innis: Doesn’t matter.

Antoinette: Erica. Get over it.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Okay. Dump your partner and get a new one. Then. I don’t know, like, if, if the issue is that, then maybe you should like not be with your partner. If they, obviously, obviously I don’t think she should be with her partner. If her partner said something along the lines of like, oh, what’s it called?

Christa Innis: Don’t hold your breath.

Antoinette: Don’t hold your breath. You shouldn’t be with that. You shouldn’t be with that person.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like you’re more mad at him, I think. Yeah. You’re not mad at your friend and you’re letting him dictate how you feel about your friend, which you should be happy for her. I think you need to turn the anger maybe to him.

Antoinette: Yes.

Christa Innis: You guys are on different timelines.

Antoinette: Yes.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, but also like why even if you’re on different timelines, why would that be your answer to somebody asking about when we’re getting married? Yeah. Don’t hold your breath. Your breath. You obviously don’t like me. If that’s, if that’s like, if that’s your answer, that’s rude.

Yeah. It’s one thing to be like, I’m not ready. Gonna be like, don’t hold your breath. Okay. You, you don’t like me. Then like, you always like, you don’t care about me or my feelings, like.

Yeah. The fact that he was so quick to be like, don’t hold your breath. Not like, don’t worry, we’re gonna get married. I’ve got something planned. Or just like, I need another year. You know, whatever.

Antoinette: Or can we talk about it later? Like, can we talk like not on this boat when Yeah. Not on this boat. You, you might not be happy with my answer. Let’s talk about it in private.

Christa Innis: Might ruin your whole day.

Antoinette: Yeah, exactly right. Ruins everybody’s day and year, apparently.

Christa Innis: Yes. Oh my gosh.

Um, she said she felt she should be getting married before me. Oh, now it’s clear before me. Because of the length of her own relationship. Length does not dictate any of that. It does not ever. It really doesn’t ever. Oh my gosh. It really doesn’t.

I wanted to suggest that she stepped down as a bridesmaid, but I avoided the confrontation because I knew it would end our friendship.

Antoinette: Well, maybe, but this is not ending your friend. This should have ended your friendship.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: This should have ended your friendship. I think this girl’s being way too much of a pushover because like, this should have ended your friendship. Why are you worried about ending? Like how is this not ending it?

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Like all the signs are there from the outside. I’m like, these signs are so big and red that I’m like you. Yeah. As red. Those nails that you got proposed.

Antoinette: Yeah, exactly.

Christa Innis: They are, they’re they’re like flashing at me.

Antoinette: Yes.

Christa Innis: Um, for the bachelorette trip, a joint bachelor and bachelorette weekend. Erica texted me the week before saying her boyfriend couldn’t take time off work. So they probably would, would come late.

Okay. Despite multiple brides, I thought she was gonna say, so they probably wouldn’t come. And I was gonna be like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. Despite multiple bridesmaids offering to drive her so she could come on time, she refused. That’s another, that’s weird. If it’s one of my best friends, I’d be like, sorry, you have to work a boyfriend.

I’m going without you like, yeah. What, what, I’m sorry. I’m not wasting, wasting my time. Um, she and her boyfriend finally arrived Friday night just as we were heading to karaoke the karaoke bar. At the bar they stood apart from everyone else repeatedly asked when we were leaving and complained about how much they disliked it.

Antoinette: Why did you come? They both did?

Christa Innis: Apparently. Like what?

Antoinette: What was the point of coming then? Like, you just, like, you just like ob you want to ruin people’s time.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. You’re just miserable, unhappy people.

Antoinette: Yeah. Like, you are, you’re being miserable and you’re trying to make everyone else miserable. Like, and I have like, I’m one of those people where like, I’m like, I feel like I give so much grace where I’m like, you know, if somebody’s like in a bad place, you know, or like, and you know what?

Maybe you are miserable. Okay. But like, are you spreading your misery? That’s what I’m really asking. Like, I mean like, are you spreading your misery? And that’s what’s happening here. And I feel like that’s so like, get it together. Get it together. There’s really no reason for you to go to event and just ruin somebody else’s time. Go home. Yeah, go home.

Christa Innis: Because, yeah, no one feels bad for you. Like, don’t go there to like ruin their day. Like they’re enjoying their time. So just like.

Antoinette: Yeah. This would also be a festivity and you would literally be like, Ugh. Can we go home? Yeah, go. No, yeah, you can. Yeah, please. You literally can, you drove here by yourself because you didn’t come with us. ‘Cause you’re waiting for your boyfriend so you can, you literally can’t go.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Literally. Please. Do you already want the excuse to not come?

Antoinette: This is not an escape room. You can escape. Okay. Yeah.

Christa Innis: You’re way out. Oh my gosh. This is wild.

Um, the next morning Erica claimed she had a panic attack and decided to leave saying she wasn’t having fun. Okay.

Antoinette: Yeah. Neither were we. We could tell.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: You could tell. It’s not a surprise.

Christa Innis: You made it very clear. Yeah.

Antoinette: Like it’s not a surprise, girly.

Christa Innis: A month after the trip, Erica got engaged. Hmm. Okay.

Antoinette: Good for maybe, I hope, you know what? I hope her attitude changes now. I hope she’s very happy now.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Now she’s gonna be, wait, I didn’t read the rest, but I’m just gonna guess it’s gonna be all about her and her wedding now and then maybe they kept married first.

Antoinette: Oh my God. I bet she’s gonna be like, oh, you know what? If this was my wedding, I wouldn’t have done that. Yes. A lot of that, like, oh, you know what? I would’ve never picked that color. Oh, you know what? I kind of feel like that’s a little techy, but like, you know, like, it’s good for you. Oh my God. I hate Erica. What? Yes. God. Erica, you’re the worse.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Um, a month after the trip, so Erica got engaged and started texting me questions about wedding planning. Oh, she’s so excited now.

Antoinette: Oh, look at her.

Christa Innis: Things most bridesmaids would already know, like what wedding website I use and where my venue was. On the day of my bridal shower, Erica showed up with her mom both wearing white. Because she’s engaged, so it’s now her wedding here.

Antoinette: I literally can’t, Erica is not the worse. Erica is the worst. She can’t help herself.

Christa Innis: Her mom like matching, matching outfits, like wearing a sash bride and mother with bride.

Antoinette: Oh my God. Did you? She’s like, well, I’m, I’m also, I’m also engaged.

Christa Innis: We’re all engaged together.

Antoinette: Yeah. Oh my God.

Christa Innis: Um, she asked the other bridesmaids how long the shower would last complained about having to stay for the opening of gifts and spent most of the time talking about her own wedding plans.

Antoinette: Oh, you called it, you called it.

Christa Innis: I feel like I’ve just like seen so many stories like this where I’m just like that type of person that’s so upset and jealous and has to be rude.

The second then they get engaged. It’s me, me, me, me, me. Oh, you had your, yes, that’s it. But it’s like she doesn’t have her time yet. She’s still like.

Antoinette: She never had her time. You were rude the whole time. Like you’ve been, and then after now you’re still being rude. See? Are you just a rude person? Like that. Just who? Yeah. I was like, were there signs? You know what, I’m sorry. I feel like I was like, were there signs already that Erica was not a good friend before all of this?

Christa Innis: Yeah. I wanna hear about. Yeah. You know, some pre-engagement stories about Erica. Tell me the truth.

Antoinette: Yeah. I was like, let’s get the truth. Have you, as his friend, needed to be gone for a long time? Probably.

Christa Innis: My, my guess is, yeah. Yeah. Like, and this just brought it all out even more.

Um, when I walked over to her table, her mom interrupted me to show Erica something so cute for her wedding. About 45 minutes into the shower, Erica’s mom came up to me and said Erica wasn’t feeling well.

I know I have to say that in that voice. Yeah. No, I love it. Come say goodbye. Oh. At your shower. You need to go outside and say goodbye to Erica.

Antoinette: No, Erica can come inside. Yeah. Or, or tell her I say bye.

Christa Innis: Yeah. She can just do the old Irish goodbye. See ya. Bye.

Um, I went outside and Erica apologized, later texted me that she’s always getting sick at events related to me.

Antoinette: Oh my God.

Christa Innis: You said it weird. There must be some jealousy in the air.

Antoinette: Yeah. Right, right. I right.

Christa Innis: Stick with jealousy.

Antoinette: You’re literally getting sick by your own jealousy. Your own jealousy is making you sick.

Christa Innis: Eating you up inside.

Antoinette: Alive. Like, like your body knows terrible therapy. Immediately, please. Like, yeah.

Christa Innis: Can you seek some inner peace?

Antoinette: Yes.

Christa Innis: Um, all right. The next day, my sister texted Erica and asked if she’d be getting sick on the wedding day too, and whether she saw,

Antoinette: I love the sister.

Christa Innis: The sister is awesome.

Antoinette: The sister was like, I’m done with this.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like, I’ll be her backbone for a little bit. I got, yeah. Whether she felt capable of handling the pressure.

Erica got defensive and sent me a long series of messages about feeling disrespected before I could respond she blocked me.

Antoinette: The audacity!

Christa Innis: And all the other bridesmaids on social media. ’cause she was called out for her bs.

Antoinette: She felt disrespected? She, Erica felt disrespect? Wow. Wow.

Christa Innis: That is wild.

Antoinette: She did them a favor though. Yeah. Like somebody needed to like, thank you for excusing yourself out then.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Antoinette: And she, she literally went through, just blocked everybody. Okay. Nobody wanted you ready.

Christa Innis: That’s someone that like expects you just to like, go to their beck and call at all times. No one says no to me. And so I think because the sister came in and was like, yo, you’re not being a good person. Are you gonna be there or not? Tell me now because

Antoinette: Yeah, exactly.

Christa Innis: Not dealing with this.

Antoinette: I’m glad the sister said something. ’cause it was like someone had to be like, is this, we’ve already seen the pattern for a year. Are you gonna do this on the actual important day?

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Antoinette: If so, like, and I love that. Are you gonna be able to handle it? ’cause Yeah. Are, can you handle it? You’ve proven not to be able to. So yeah. Can you get yourself together before then? Mm-hmm. And she pretty much, she answered, no, she’s not. I mean by all of her actions were a No. That was the answer.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh.

Antoinette: She blocked everybody off.

Christa Innis: That is wild.

Antoinette: Oh so childish.

Christa Innis: I kind of like. Very loosely relate to this.

Like years ago I had a very like shady kind of friend. The end of, yeah, shady is probably the wrong word, just a friend where like I was always like people pleasing, bending back my backward, bending over backwards for. And many times, like last minute cancellations, like if she was gonna help me with something, like feeling sick, that kind of stuff.

And my sister texted her one day when she was supposed to come to something and canceled like the morning of, or just stopped. She like stopped responding to me and my sister was like, Hey, like. Christa’s always bending over backwards for you, blah, blah, blah. And it was like the same thing. She was rude back to my sister and then texted me like a whole thing. And I was just like, I’m done. Like I’m done. Sorry.

Antoinette: Yeah. Yeah. Like you can’t take accountability. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, all right. Last paragraph here says, looking back, I should have never asked her to be a bridesmaid. She has always been selfish and viewed our friendship as a competition. There you go. Mm.

I was trying to hold on to a one-sided friendship, but in the end she took the first opportunity to bow out.

Antoinette: Wow.

Christa Innis: They hung on by a thread there for a while.

Antoinette: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, and everyone, but I mean, that’s what we’re wondering. We’re wondering, like, it seems like Erica probably has always been a problem, and, but she just confirmed that.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Like, and that happens. I mean, I’ve been, I’ve been in, in a friendship like that too, where like, it was definitely one sided.

I was definitely like doing everything. And they definitely were like selfish, but like, there were just, there’s always something, there’s like something, I don’t know what it is, but you were like, attached to that person. I felt attached to them. Um, and sometimes it can be hard to like let people go, even if they’re like, you know, they’re like not really bringing anything.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. A hundred percent.

Antoinette: Um, yeah. Yeah. So.

Christa Innis: And I feel like too, it’s like, you know, you, you think of like good times with that person. Yeah. And you’re like, oh, they’re good to me during that. Or like, this was a good time. I don’t wanna just like be the mean person and say like, I’m done with you, but also like, you, you matter too.

And it’s like, yeah. And their friendships just have a timeline and they’re just. Done at a certain point. And that’s.

Antoinette: Yeah. And this was the one, I mean, I secretly wish for this girl that like it had been earlier, so her whole, all the events weren’t like so tainted with Erica’s drama, you know? But at least her wedding wasn’t tainted with it.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. She was long out by that point.

Antoinette: Yeah, right.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Well that was a wild story.

Well, thank you so much for coming on and yeah, entering with me and reacting to this wild story. I had so much fun hanging out with you. I feel like we could talk for hours just because I do too, so much to chat about.

Um, can you again, just tell everyone where they can follow you and find your content and then anything fun you’re working on?

Antoinette: Yeah. Um, you can find me on TikTok at Miss Razzle Dazzle. I’ve been trying to change it, but it won’t change on TikTok, so Miss Razzle dazzle, and then on Instagram at bits of banter with Antoinette and then YouTube at bits of banter.

Christa Innis: I love it.

Antoinette: Um, and I am now my next thing is Perfect Match and Love is Blind uk so I’ll be reacting to those two shows.

Christa Innis: Okay. I gotta watch at least one of those. Yes, yes. I Dating Show World. Yes. Awesome. Well thank you so much.

Antoinette: Thank you.

by Christa Innis

Education Hot Seats, Reality Checks & a Red Flag Romance — with Colleen Borgert

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

Get the book!

Weddings can bring out the best and the worst in families but what happens when the drama takes center stage?

In this episode, Christa and Colleen Borgert dive deep into a story about a whirlwind engagement, a strained family dynamic, and a wedding that almost didn’t happen. Did the bride make the right choice when she called off the marriage after just one month?

Tune in as Christa and Colleen share candid thoughts on red flags, family loyalty, and how important it is to trust your instincts when the pressure’s on. A powerful reminder that it’s never too late to walk away from a bad relationship.

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month!

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

07:22 Teaching Background and Career Path

12:14 Wedding Would You Rather Questions

18:41 Meeting Her Husband at a Wedding

24:36 Discussing Wedding Food and First Dances

30:12 No Ring No Bring Wedding Policy

36:20 Wedding Story Submission

42:26 Red Flags in the Relationship

48:42 The Divorce and Moving Forward

54:39 Wedding Confessions

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

Engagement Red Flags – The couple’s whirlwind engagement raised questions about moving too fast and overlooking key signs.
Family Drama Unfolds – The bride’s experience with her fiancé’s family dynamics and how it impacted her big day.
The Sister’s Role – Colleen shares her thoughts on the fiancé’s younger sister and the implications of her behavior.
Unspoken Expectations – How family members’ expectations can shape wedding plans, and the consequences of unmet expectations.
The Pushback on No Kids Policy – Colleen’s wedding no-kids policy and the pushback it created from family members.
Taking Control of Your Wedding – The importance of setting boundaries with family members and ensuring the wedding day feels right for the couple.
Dealing with Toxic Family Members – The challenges of navigating toxic family relationships and prioritizing your own happiness.
A Bold Divorce Decision – The courage it took for the bride to end the marriage and choose a life that was healthier for her.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“Sometimes the most dramatic moments are the ones that push us into the right decision.” – Christa Innis
“There’s no rule that says you have to settle for a big wedding if it doesn’t feel right for you.”– Christa Innis
“When we look back at those relationships, we realize: we were just rushing for the sake of rushing.”– Christa Innis
“If something doesn’t feel right, trust your gut, even if everyone else says you should push through.”– Christa Innis
“Wedding day stress isn’t just about the day it’s about what it reveals about the people around you.”– Christa Innis
It’s not about the number of guests, it’s about the intimacy and connection you want to share.” – Colleen Borgert
“Some family dynamics are just too toxic to navigate around. You’ve got to know when to step away.” – Colleen Borgert
“At that moment, I realized that the wedding I envisioned wasn’t the one that was actually happening.” – Colleen Borgert
“It’s hard to face red flags when you’re too caught up in the idea of what should be.” – Colleen Borgert
“A good family should never make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, it should always feel like a safe place.” – Colleen Borgert

About Colleen:

Colleen Borgert is a Catholic ESL Director, wife, and mom with 15 years of experience in education. She is passionate about advocating for all students and dedicated to unlearning and growing into the best version of herself. Colleen’s journey into TikTok began as a way to raise awareness for a comfort closet in her school, providing essential items like toothbrushes, socks, and deodorant for at-risk students. Her efforts gained traction, and after the election, her content evolved to reflect the changing landscape of education. Now, Colleen shares insights on shifting educational laws and provides parents with important updates on what’s happening in their local schools.

Follow Colleen Borgert:

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of, here Comes The Drama. It’s so funny, I put together these intros week after week and you know, I thought it would seem more and more natural, but like sometimes when I read off things, it just feels like I. Uh, not very natural to me. But anyways, thanks for being here, guys.

I’m excited to share another exciting episode. We are joined by Colleen Bogart this week. She’s also known as Leanie Borg on TikTok. She is a Midwest mom educator and all around advocate for her students who need it most. Colleen is known for her heart humor and the way she shows up unapologetically herself.

But don’t let the smile fool you. She’s not afraid to speak up. Stand strong and keep it real both in and out of the classroom. In this episode, we play around of would you rather dive into some wedding hot takes, of course. And then finally, we react to a wedding story submission with an ending you will not see coming.

And I just wanna say, I had so much fun hanging out with Colleen. She’s so real. She was so much fun, and I’m excited for you guys to hang out with us. So without further ado, here’s our episode. Enjoy.

Hi, Colleen. Thank you for being here. Thank you so much. I’m so excited. I’m so excited to have you here. I mean, I think I was telling you before we started recording, like I came across your stuff on, on TikTok and ology. Probably like, I don’t even know, time is, time is funny, but it was probably like over a year ago.

I just love the stuff you put out. So thank you for taking the time and being here today.

Colleen Borgert: Thank you. Yeah. Um, I’ve been on TikTok a little over three years now and have been following you and all of your wedding shenanigans that you put out there and amongst everything that’s happening, like you’re really good comedic relief for me, so I appreciate that.

Christa Innis: Oh, good. Oh, that’s, I love, I love hearing that. It’s kind of goofy just how the internet, I was just telling someone it feels like, it’s like talent show on like. Phone, you know, like you’re scrolling. And I just kind of like pic feel, feel like it’s like talent showing when you’re like in elementary school and everyone’s like, Hey, check out what I got.

And then it’s like the next person, they’re like, Hey, check out what I have to say. And it’s just like this funny world we live in

Colleen Borgert: it, it really is. You know, like I can envision myself doing like little somersaults on, on the stage in middle school being like, TA Yes. And now here we are.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. So true.

And just like the world, I mean, you cover a lot of it too. I feel like the world and everything that’s going on, it’s just like, there’s so many, there’s a lot of negative things going on in the world. Scary things. Mm-hmm. And so I just, I feel like maybe it’s my way of detaching. I don’t know. I don’t know what it’s, yeah.

But, um, but you know, and

Colleen Borgert: thing, things are really heavy right now and, and they’re really heavy for people of all ages, especially in education and that detachment piece, like that’s needed. So we can get up every day with a full bucket. And get to work and keep changing lives. So your detachment is my, is my healing.

So I appreciate you so much.

Teacher Turned Advocate

Christa Innis: Well, thank you. I know. I appreciate what you do too. Can you tell everyone a little bit about yourself, what you do, and kind of how that pivoted into what you share on social media?

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. So, um, this is gonna be my 15th year in education and I’ve kind of always had more of a social work type background.

And that’s originally what I got into TikTok for. Um, I was raising awareness to help build a comfort closet for, um, kiddos in my school that were from at-risk backgrounds. So, um, I would put out items that we needed, like toothbrush, socks, toothpaste, deodorant, um, just to get eyeballs on that Amazon wishlist link, and then it kind of blew up from there.

And then. After the election when everything kind of in my world pivoted and changed a little bit, so did my content. Um, because everything in the education world is shifting and changing and I wanted to let parents know, Hey, this is happening in your neck of the woods, so come on up to the front and hear about it.

So now I share more, um, educational laws that are changing, things that are adapting within the educational world.

Christa Innis: I love that. I feel like it’s so important because I, I’ve seen especially in your own content too, people will sign off on things or they’re like, agree with something until they really get to the nitty gritty and they’re like, wait, what’s happening?

Wait, department of Education’s going away. You know, and they’re like picking up these things. They’re like, wait, what does that actually mean? And they need people that are in it that know the ins and outs to explain it.

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. And, and it’s easy for every single person to kind of wear a school hat in the sense because they were a student at one point in their lives, but the lens that they see things through is that student lens and maybe not what’s behind the curtain.

So hopefully I can just pull that curtain back for people and let them see the nitty gritty of what things actually mean.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And so like what. Kind of going back, what inspired you to initially become an educator? You said you started with social. Did you start with social work and you were kind of in that field and then you kind of moved into be teaching?

Colleen Borgert: Yeah, so, um, I kind of was always in the school social work realm. And then just recently, a few years ago, I kind of navigated more into the classroom and now I work at a Catholic school. So I’m a Catholic, um, English, a second language director. And um, what I do is I ensure kiddos that do not have English as a first language, have equitable education.

Um, now more than ever. That’s extremely important. Um, I think that I feel. So I shouldn’t say think. Mm-hmm. I feel so passionate about this because I also grew up in an extremely, like poor environment, poor households. So I know what it took to like claw my way to get here. And I know that if it’s possible for me, it’s possible for other kids if I can just be that adult that I needed when I was younger.

So that’s definitely what fuels me every day that I get up and I go to school.

Christa Innis: I love that I’ve, I’ve heard that quote before about like, you like need to almost think about who you needed as a child because that’s gonna, that should be kind of like who we are as adults, because that’s gonna kind of put us back in that mind frame of like, okay, I really need an adult to hear me.

I really needed an adult to support me or understand me. Um,

Colleen Borgert: to make you feel seen and valid.

Christa Innis: Yeah, absolutely. I feel like that’s. I feel like that’s such a pivotal thing to remember because we get kind of lost in the day to day. And then especially as educators, you want someone to really care. Like, you know, my, my daughter’s too young for school yet, but when she’s in school, I’m like, you want a teacher like that that’s gonna really think like, okay, they’re gonna hear everything I say or they’re gonna see me as a person, like even if I’m quiet or, you know, those kind of things.

Colleen Borgert: Absolutely. And see the parent too, because the parent is an important part of all that.

Teacher Balancing Truth & Boundaries

Christa Innis: Yeah. Mm-hmm. So do you think, so I know you’ve kind of posted before about like, like your content changing, especially after the election, but I think even before the election you were kind of, you know, talking a little bit more about what could happen, these kind of things.

So with working at a Catholic school, is it hard to kind of. Do you have to stay in line with certain things or say certain things? I don’t wanna like get you in trouble either, so I wanna make sure you’re saying things that are okay. Mm-hmm. You know, like, are there guidelines like you, can you say certain things online or where does that fall in line with your teaching?

Colleen Borgert: Well, I think in general that is kind of just a teacher box that everyone has to stay in. Um, when it comes to my Catholic faith and, and where I align, at first I was really nervous to kind of like go out in those waters and let people know like, Hey, I’m a, I’m not a public school teacher. I’m a Catholic school teacher.

But once I showed people that. I am here for all kids regardless of religion, race, background, culture. People started to see my authentic, you know, views that I wanted to present and the information that I was giving people and it was well received. There are definite lanes that you have to stay in, um, as a teacher.

And then I think my lane is just a tad bit smaller being a Catholic school teacher, but the things that I am bringing are fact-based. Educational laws to people. So I’m really proud of that. And I think as long as I stay in my lane, you know, I’m good. And I’ve had a lot of wonderful support from my school community.

Um, they have backed me up 110%. Um, they believe that every child has the right to a free and equitable education as I do regardless of race and religion. So it’s been really good. Um, but at the end of the day, I’m an adult and I have to be able to control what I say to stay in that lane.

Christa Innis: Yeah, no, absolutely.

No, I love it. I love that they’re, they’re behind you. ’cause I mean, just in general with like content creators, like just different jobs, I’ve heard different stories where they’re like, you can’t say this, you can’t post this, you can’t do this. Um, so it’s really good to hear that there’s like supportive, um, uh, schools and communities out there.

Colleen Borgert: Oh wait, I totally butchered

A Diagnosis That Changed Everything

Christa Innis: that question, but chair, like a pivotal moment in your life that kind of shaped how you approach teaching.

Colleen Borgert: Um, I think one thing that changed my view on how I view all kids in the classroom is my son was diagnosed with Tourette’s Syndrome when he was in kindergarten and. As a parent, just hearing that diagnosis, not knowing what that looks like, um, in our, in our lives, let alone in the classroom, surrounded by, by kids he does not know.

It, it really made me like peel back my eyelids and open my eyeballs to every single kid has something different that’s going on inside of them. Mm-hmm. Every single kid that is in front of me is going to feel one way or another on a certain day. And my son deserved to have a teacher that was like, okay, you are different and you’re unique and that’s wonderful.

And how are we going to ensure that you get the exact same care and attention as every single other kiddo. Mm-hmm. In here. And I think as we’re looking at things today that are happening, happening politically. We have to remember that we are all just one diagnosis away from having a unique child. We, you know, we are, we’re one car accident away from having a child that might need to be in a wheelchair that is going to need different accommodations and is going to need a teacher that is, is loving and caring and will do absolutely everything for your kid.

Like they would for Susie Hugh, who is always there 20 minutes early, raising our hand star reader. Mm-hmm. Like every single child is different. And I want my kid to have a teacher that loves on him. Like I love on every single baby that I see every single day of the school year. Mm-hmm. So, like his diagnosis, it, it was rough for us.

It was scary. We didn’t know what that would look like. So that, that was, that was hard.

Christa Innis: Yeah. No, I think that that’s, yeah. Such an important thing because like you said, anything can change in a minute. I think. A lot of times people just like look at like, what’s gonna affect me and me only? Mm-hmm. And if you look outside and say like, well, how is this affecting other people?

Or how is it affecting that family? Or how is it affecting this family that leads to more compassion and empathy and understanding. I think that’s really what the world lacks. Because, because, um, not to like generalize, but I just feel like those are the things I’ve observed is like there’s a certain group of people that let’s look at like, well, it doesn’t bother me, so I’m fine.

Right. It’s like what anything can change, anything could happen. Like you said, like mm-hmm. Um, emergencies happen all the time or you know, I don’t know. Things, things just can change quickly. Um, that’s, yeah. That’s such a good thing to think about. Um, okay.

I wanna switch into the wedding, wedding kind of topic.

And as I was kind saying to you before we started recording is like I’m adding, I’m kinda shifting these podcast episodes a little bit different to like more conversations in the beginning, but I still haven’t kind of figured it out a transition. Sometimes it just happens naturally and other times I’m like, all right, so onto the wedding stuff.

So sorry if it seems kind of abrupt. We’re working on it. No first timer here. I think it seems fabulous. Okay. I was just like talk my way through stuff. ’cause I’m like, or like, what is it called? Not talk my way through it. I don’t know, I just like when I dunno what I’m doing, I just keep talking and figuring it out.

Girl. Same. And you’re a hand talker. So, oh my gosh. The number of people, when I first started making content that would like, like hate comments about like me using my hands, I was like,

Colleen Borgert: I dunno, I don’t know. Yeah. It just happens. I get the same. And then my next video I come out 10 times harder just like.

Christa Innis: You thought it was bad before, just wait. I know, right? It’s like, I will make sure I do it now. Well, yeah. And so one comment I got last night was, um, like I, because you know, I do like the skits and stuff, but every once in a while I come on and I’ll like explain something or I’ll give like a little background.

Someone basically was like, no one likes when you do that. Like, don’t come on and explain things. We’re here for the skits and the skits only. Don’t talk and waste our time.

Colleen Borgert: People are so rude keyboard warriors nowadays. Like, it’s absolutely ridiculous. It’s, I know, it’s crazy. I just have to

Christa Innis: laugh at the ridiculous ones.

Weddings Would-You-Rather

Okay, so starting off, let’s do a little, um, wedding. Would you rather Ooh. Completely Just random. So, okay. Um, it’s a lit, some of them might be a little tied to being a teacher, but then we’re gonna do like other ones. So here we go. Okay. Would you rather have to teach a class of 30 kids in full bridesmaid attire or chaperone recess in high heels the day after a wedding?

Colleen Borgert: Oh my goodness gracious. Well, with the amount of dancing that I do and the way that I get into shout and put my hands up in the air, yeah, I’m definitely gonna go with the 30 kids in the classroom like, yeah. A bridesmaids dress. I love a good dress up any day of the week.

Christa Innis: Yes, I know. It’s a fun, fun excuse to have like a princess day or something.

Colleen Borgert: Right. Like since Wynn is dressing up bad at school, so I, I totally will take that. But my 41-year-old body nowadays after wedding dancing, I can’t like, oh my gosh. Beautiful day recovery and yeah.

Christa Innis: No

Colleen Borgert: fun.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I know. It’s funny how that like just changes all of a sudden, like I’d be like, when people have like the full wedding weekend, I’m like, I need like one big day and then I need like a couple days of recovery.

Thank you. Yes.

Colleen Borgert: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Mm. Yeah. After, after a good wedding, you know?

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Okay. Uh, would you rather give a wedding toast with no preparation or do the Chacha slide solo in front of the whole reception?

Colleen Borgert: Oh my gosh. Chacha real smooth now. Mm. Um, I would much rather. I think just give a wedding toast.

Like, it, it, I’m a group dancer, but solo dancing, like my, my, my face drops. Like my, my face gets serious. It’s, it’s not very cool to look at. I don’t think anyone would want that, but hand me a mic and I, you know, cheers the bride and groom. That’s something I can get behind. Get behind. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. All right.

Um, would you rather attend a wedding where the ceremony lasts three hours? Or one where the DJ only plays kids? Bop.

Colleen Borgert: Oh, okay. Um, that’s a tough one. Oh man. This is, this is almost like, would you rather go to a three hour PD or do a kids bop after school hour? Oh my gosh. I, I, I think I know, I think I’m gonna still go with the three hour ceremony.

Christa Innis: Oh, I

Colleen Borgert: know. At least. At least it’s quiet.

Christa Innis: least it’s quiet. Oh my gosh. I think I would go kids b really? Every once in a while. I don’t know if it’s ’cause of my, my daughter’s too. And so every once in a while, like I get really into those kids bumps. I mean, we, I mean they, they are catchy. They’re, they’re catchy. Luckily she’s really into Wicked now.

So we listen to the Wicked soundtrack, but play, I love it. But, uh, I love a good, you know, Disney, so I don’t know about Kids. Bop we’ll see how that would go. But I

Colleen Borgert: think it’s because when I imagine kids bop, like I imagine like kindergartners. All up on me, you know, like jamming with me with their hands going down, you know, like yeah.

That’s just the vision that I have from the experiences. So yours and mine, maybe a little different.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Different vibe. Yeah. Um, would you rather sit at the all singles table with ex students? Oh, ex students’ parents, or be seated next to the couple’s ex.

Colleen Borgert: Oh my gosh. I, I actually would take the parent table for sure.

Yeah. Without a doubt. I have been really blessed with wonderful parents and that’s, you know, I did eight years in public school and I’m still connected to so many of my public school parents that I love and adore. And the last like five years in the Catholic school system, like I just, I’ve been really lucky, so.

Oh good. I bet that table’s really fun. Signed up. Yeah.

Christa Innis: And like all those parents, like letting loose. I bet it would be like a great table,

Colleen Borgert: right?

Christa Innis: Yes. Love that. A

Colleen Borgert: for everybody. Yes.

Bridesmaid Dress Drama

Christa Innis: Okay. Would you rather wear a neon bridesmaid dress that clashes with your skin tone or have the name, or have your name spelled wrong on every wedding program?

Colleen Borgert: Oh my goodness. So I am the worst speller in the world. I can totally see me misspelling something in my own wedding. I, I probably did to be honest. Um. I also wore the wrong colored bridesmaid’s dress in my cousin’s wedding two years ago. So I’ve done that as well. Um, but I’m still gonna have to go with if that bride wants me to wear, you know, the worst color in the world.

But she is like, this is my vision. I’ve I’ve got you.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Colleen Borgert: I’m, I’m ride or die for the bride. So you,

Christa Innis: you strike me as someone that would be like a really great bridesmaid. Like, you’re like hands on. You’re like, what do you need? I got you. Like, I just get that vibe from you.

Colleen Borgert: Well, until, until literally you see that I bought, I bought the wrong color, which is before we’re walking down the aisle.

So there when you’re

Christa Innis: walking down the aisle,

Colleen Borgert: oh my gosh. We walked into like the get ready room where all the dresses are hanging up. Yeah. And the maid of honor comes up to me and she’s like, oh, Pauline. Have you seen your dress? And I’m like, yeah, it’s hanging up. It’s so cute. She’s like, it’s the wrong color.

So everyone had gotten like a, a, a shade of sage. Okay. And mine was just a different shade of sage green. And

Christa Innis: you could tell So it from different like places or like, she told you like, oh, get it sage. And just sent like a picture of what she liked and then everyone just went and got thrown or, so I

Colleen Borgert: confirmed via text and I’ve always got receipts.

I pulled that out and before I bought it I was like, this is the color correct. And she said, correct. But the bride, my cousin, she was so relaxed. She’s like, I don’t care. You know, ’cause I’m crying at this point. Aw. She’s like, I don’t care. You’re walking down the aisle. You know, I’m like, I’ll stand in the back.

I don’t have to be in the wedding. Like, oh,

Christa Innis: was it that different?

Colleen Borgert: Um, it was like one shade lighter. You, you could,

Christa Innis: you could tell,

Colleen Borgert: you could tell I ruined the wedding pictures for sure. Oh. But you know, this is the family. She was a great, I mean, she’s just a great person, so I got really lucky. Um, but yeah, if the bride needs me, whatever the bride needs me to do, I’m gonna do it.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. I, you know, I feel like, especially now too, it’s like I’ve seen it more weddings where the bridesmaid dresses don’t exactly match. I know. I actually love that. Yeah, I know. I feel like it’s like adding a little more uniqueness. I think, like at my wedding it was like, um, from, from Birdie Gray, which is like, you can order them all online, they’re under a hundred dollars and you just, you can pick like a color scheme.

So like, mine was like mov, but there’s like three shades of mov and people are like, what color? I’m like, I don’t care. Any of the, any of them. Any of them,

Colleen Borgert: they’re gonna look so pretty.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I just feel like. It, I feel like gone are the days where people wear the exact same dress. Right. Maybe every, I’m sure it happens here and there, but

Colleen Borgert: Yeah.

And in my wedding, um, I just did black satin. All the girls just had to do a black satin and it needed to be like t length and didn’t care other than that, so yeah, it was really unique. Like I just, I, I love the non-uniform look. Yeah. And that’s probably the Catholic school teacher in me coming out being like, eh, we don’t need a uniform up in here.

We’re

Wedding Party Love Story

Christa Innis: done with the uniforms, please. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Okay. Let’s move into some wedding hot takes and stories. You said you have a story of how you met your husband at a wedding, so let’s get into that.

Colleen Borgert: Okay, so I met Mr. Borger. Uh, we were both in the same wedding party for my cousin almost 16 years ago.

And, um, he kind of clocked me right away and was like, that’s the girl I wanna marry. So we got to the reception, danced a little bit. Um, there was definite connection early on. We both went our own ways. Um, the next week he called my cousin, old school, got my number, called me on the telephone. I heard this man’s voice who does that anymore?

So un heard of these days. I know. And he asked me out on a date and we have been together ever since. But yeah, he went up to my cousin who was the bride, and said, I just want you to know I’m gonna marry that girl. And

Christa Innis: oh my gosh, that’s like a romantic story.

Colleen Borgert: I know I love, love.

Christa Innis: Oh my God. So how is he connected to the wedding?

Like was he like a groomsmen or He was the fiance’s or fiance, I guess your cousin’s husband.

Colleen Borgert: Yes, friend. He was, um, a longtime childhood friend of the groom. Okay. So now they get to be at family functions together and we’re like pretty our kids together. So it’s. It’s wonderful.

Christa Innis: I love that when like, they’re already kind of like connected, so there’s like no extra introduction.

It’s like he’s already kind of, you got an in, he’s got an in. Mm-hmm. Um, and then for you, it was a family wedding, so your family was probably already there. And so like did he like meet your parents then at the wedding and everything?

Colleen Borgert: Um, I don’t know if he necessarily like, met them, met them at the wedding.

Yeah. But he was invested in the fun that my family can have for sure. We are in good time, so I love that. Yeah, he, he was there for it.

Christa Innis: Oh, that’s awesome. I love that story. ’cause like, usually when I ask people like crazy stories, they’re like, I mean, I, I kind of put people, I try to not put people on the spot, but, um, I.

I love that it was like a positive good story. Yes. Because I always tell people, I’m like, people just remember these crazy moments. That’s why I share them. But like for the most part, like there are so many great wedding stories and like fun moments and just like, just like wild moments about, you know, yes.

Things hanging out. Um. Awesome. I love that.

The Great Wedding Dinner Debate

Okay, let’s get into some wedding hot takes. Okay. These are people send me on Instagram. We’ll just kind of react together and see uh, what our thoughts are. Okay. This one says buffets over plated dinners faster, more variety and fewer awkward chicken and steak texts.

I dunno what the text means, but,

oh, I just copied something. Yeah. Fewer awkward chicken and steak dinners.

Colleen Borgert: So are, are you asking which one do I prefer?

Christa Innis: It’s just a hot take that someone sent, so, yeah, I mean, you can say what you think about it. Um,

Colleen Borgert: so there, there was one summer, um, like my husband and I had been married for maybe like two years, and we legit had 10 weddings from like May until September.

Like mm-hmm. He’s five years older than me, so my friends were in like prime time wedding season. Mm-hmm. And it was almost every single wedding had the same chicken with that white gravy. I think it might. Oh yeah. Like on top with the mashed potatoes and everybody thinks that they’re doing something special when they’re not, you know, like it’s just boring.

But one of our friends catered in Qdoba at their wedding. And I have never forgotten it. Like, I have never forgotten the Qdoba wedding. And I hope that if this airs they hear this and they know how special their Qdoba wedding was to me. So, you know, I’m a, I’m a fan of a buffet, you know, poor girl from a poor neighborhood.

We loved our buffets growing up. Um, so I don’t mind a good buffet at a wedding.

Christa Innis: I know. I was just saying to someone, like when I was younger at weddings, I was like, like years from getting married, I was like, oh yeah, I wouldn’t, I don’t think I would do a buffet. I like the plated dinner. And then as I got older I was like, I love a buffet.

Like I just love it. And then of course when I got married I did a taco bar and I was like, this is where it’s at. Oh, you did the, you did

Colleen Borgert: the taco. There are people that came to your wedding that 20 years from now are gonna be like, I went to a taco of our wedding and it’s going to be you girl. Yeah. That is the wedding that they are referencing.

It’s yours.

Christa Innis: I was just like, I. Never really was a big fan of plated dinners unless they’re like, I don’t know, every once in a while. Yeah. Like surprised me. Really good. But I also worked at a hotel for, gosh, three years in college. So like I would saw all the banquet foods and I saw them and not like saying they were gross or anything, but like I saw how they would keep ’em warm and I just, I don’t know, just not my thing.

And so I was like, when there’s a buffet though, you take what you want. Maybe go for seconds, get a little guacamole in there. We’re good.

Colleen Borgert: Yes. I’m here for it. I’m here for it. And I love that you did. I can’t believe it. You did Taco. I know. You’re

Christa Innis: seko. Dopa. I was like, yes. It was pretty close. It was like a local place, but it was like, it was perfect.

Like perfect.

Colleen Borgert: Yes. Yeah. And people appreciate it.

Christa Innis: And pizza for a late night snack. Yes.

Colleen Borgert: The, the best weddings that bring out that 11:00 PM like fill your belly up snack. The best.

First Dance or Skip It?

Christa Innis: Yes. Oh, it’s the best. Um, okay. This next one says, not every wedding needs a first dance. Some couples just wanna party, so let them

Colleen Borgert: I agree.

Like if you don’t want to do it, don’t do it. This is your special day. Who am I to say that you have to do something to make me feel special or this whole thing makes sense. Yeah. That doesn’t make any sense to me.

Christa Innis: I know, and I’ve heard of like parents like fighting back on it and being like, no, you need this.

And it’s like they don’t wanna be the center of attention. They don’t want that big moment. It like, it’s okay. Like no one should be forced to do anything at their wedding that they aren’t comfortable with, or that just doesn’t interest them.

Colleen Borgert: Right. Did you do a first dance.

Christa Innis: I did. Yes, we did

Colleen Borgert: too. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love it.

I love, I love a first dance. Yeah.

Christa Innis: But if they

Colleen Borgert: don’t want it, they don’t want it.

Christa Innis: Yeah. A hundred percent. We did a choreo, I’m gonna mess up the word choreographed. We practiced ourself.

Colleen Borgert: Oh my gosh. We are not

Christa Innis: dancers either of us. I’m not. Okay. So when are you posting that to TikTok? I might have years ago.

I’m trying to think. I might have to repost it. I’m gonna get my scroll game

Colleen Borgert: on. I know. I

Christa Innis: gotta think about what I posted it. Um, probably not in a long time ’cause people were like asking about it once I, so we watched YouTube because I was like, okay, one lesson I always learn brides, if you’re listening was take some kind of dance course.

You don’t have to like pay for it. If you are doing a first dance, you don’t have to like pay for it. There’s free ones on YouTube, right. Um, and so we started doing that, like just to learn like the steps. So we, because I’ve gone to so many weddings where you can tell they’ve literally never danced together.

Right. They stand there and they just like look awkward. They just sway and they’re

Colleen Borgert: like leaving lots of room for Jesus. You know? It’s

Christa Innis: like, come on guys. Like let’s not have that first time you guys ever like, get in a room, dance together, be like in a, in front of a hundred people. Right? Right. So like I knew I didn’t want that awkward moment.

So like, we did like our step practicing and then as we were watching, or like YouTube, it was like suggestive videos and it was like Taylor Swift, uh, oh gosh, what song is it? Oh my gosh. I sounds, is her, this is her first dance. Yeah. Why am I drawing a blank? Ah, it’s Taylor. Um, oh, now I’m gonna like, have to like find it ’cause it’s gonna really bother me.

Um, but it’ll come to you in a few minutes

Colleen Borgert: and if not divorce will come. It’ll be

Christa Innis: fine. It’ll be fine.

Colleen Borgert: We’ll just pick your voice in. It’s

Christa Innis: can, I’m gonna sing it and I can’t sing. Can I go where we can? I can’t sing. Hold on, hold on. I’m a swifty. Give it to me. Be this clo forever and ever. And, and take me. Huh?

And with a, that called you’re my, my lover. Lover. Lover. I knew we’d get there eventually. Yeah. Okay. So it was to lover.

Colleen Borgert: Love that. Yeah. And there was a

Christa Innis: really cute dance on YouTube and they showed what to do. So we did like a little spin. He like picked me up in the end. Oh. And we didn’t tell anyone we were doing it.

So it was likes you

Colleen Borgert: had like your, um, baby moment from dirty dancing where he like Yeah.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Little less graceful than that, but Yeah.

Colleen Borgert: But I do love that you told brides that they could just get on YouTube, like they don’t have to spend their money. Yeah. Just hop on YouTube. Yeah. I, I love that you remind people of that it, it doesn’t have to break the bank to be special.

Christa Innis: Yeah, exactly. Like, we literally did it in our, in our apartment living room and we just practiced like every week. I think we was like, Monday nights we’re gonna practice our dance. Yay. Okay.

No Ring, No Bring and the Reality of Guest Lists

Um, next one is no bring, no ring, no bring is totally fair. Sorry to your new hinge date of two weeks. What are your thoughts on No ring, no bring.

Colleen Borgert: Oh my thought. Okay. So my husband, my husband did not get invited to a second cousin of mine’s wedding. We were not engaged. We got engaged the next month. Okay. And during the time I was like, I can’t believe they won’t let me bring him. Like, why would they not? Mm-hmm. And now that I have children of my own and I see the cost of things and I, I see more of like that behind the curtain.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. I

Colleen Borgert: can see that and I can respect it for what it is now. Yeah. I tell you. But when I was in the moment, it felt like, oh, my partner isn’t allowed to be here, but I, I can understand it now. I can respect it now.

Christa Innis: Yeah. No, I, I totally get that. I had a similar thing, it was my second cousin’s wedding. Gosh, I don’t even know how long ago it was.

My hu Now husband and I were just dating, but we were living together for years and they like invited, it was weird. It was like they invited all of us, but like they put like, I can’t remember, there was something weird about it, but like, we were like, oh, um, I don’t, I didn’t, I didn’t know if they like, didn’t know his name or something like, weird, but like I had been with him like longer than this couple had been.

So like they’d met him many times. Like, this is your person at this point box. Yeah. This is like very clearly my person. Yeah. Like he like plus one of the other weddings in the family, like, he’d been to their house and then this second cousin, it was like a fairly like quick like, which no hate or anything.

Of course. That’s, that’s awesome. Right. But it was fairly quick. So like, they had been together like a short time and like he wasn’t invited and I was like, oh, I’m just making sure. Yeah. And again, now looking back, I’m like, we were not that. I was not like super close with them. So I was like, I get it. And I ended up just going with my mom and my sister.

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. Which, you know, tho those can be fun times too. And it was fun, you know, like unexpected fun moments without, you know, the old ball and chain that, that’s fun too. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I do think there’s a difference between, you know, you had been dating your now boyfriend for years and I was almost engaged versus like, oh, two weeks ago I met Jimmy, you know, down at the gas station.

Yeah. Can he come too? Yeah. Like that’s

Christa Innis: different to me. I know. I just read this crazy Reddit story this morning where it was like. This girl was demanding to be invited to her boyfriend of a few months wedding, like, or his friend’s wedding. And she, he was like, oh, I don’t get a plus one. And she’s like, well, I’m your girlfriend.

I should be able to go. And he’s like, well, they didn’t gimme one. I’m a groomsman. I don’t really wanna start anything. And she’s like, no, if you like really like me, you need to like bring me. And that’s where I’m like, it’s only three months. Mm-hmm. He’s probably only least friends for years. I don’t see like where, why you have to automatically give a plus one.

Right. I agree. I agree with that. It’s very, it’s very nuanced. I think in a lot of it, it’s not all black and white. It’s kind of like each individual thing is gonna have different. Rules. Right?

Colleen Borgert: Like we, we didn’t do kids at our wedding. We had a no kid wedding. Um, but our final total, even after we got all the nos for our RSVPs, we were up to like 370 people with no children.

Woo. Like, you know, and that is hard for people to grasp too, you know, like, what do you mean I can’t bring my kids?

Christa Innis: Yeah. But when

Colleen Borgert: you are from such a ginormous family like you. When you eliminate those kids, you’re able to say, okay, my second cousins can now come and, you know. Yeah. So I think we have to remember to pull back the curtain on everything and kind of say there, there’s always more back there than what we initially think.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. 375 people,

Colleen Borgert: too many.

Christa Innis: That is insane. It, it was like 360 people. Too many. Let me tell you, if you were to do it again, do you think you would do it a lot smaller?

Colleen Borgert: I would do it. I would do it so differently. I I would do it smaller. More intimate. Intimate. Is that inter intimate? Intimate. In intimate?

I kinda like intimate, but it’s intimate. Intimate, you know what I mean? I, yeah. I would make it, it would be much smaller, quaint, and just a few close people, and I would probably want to do a surprise. And just if you wanted to show up at this random thing I invited you to, you get to come to my way. Oh, I love that.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I love that. I know, I think it’s like with age, we’re kind of like, because I always tell people if I were to get married in my early twenties or something, I think I would’ve gone way too big. Invited way too many people. Mm-hmm. And you know, like I had just been outta college or something, so I’d probably had like all my college friends.

Yes. My bridesmaids. And it’s like now here I am, like 15 years or ish out of college and I’m like doing the quick math out of college and I’m like. Half those people I don’t even talk to anymore. So I’m like, I’m, I would not have wanted them at the wedding. ’cause then they’re gonna be all these pictures like, you know?

Right. And that’s exactly how it,

Colleen Borgert: you know, and, and I’m blessed and lucky and it’s easy for me to be, to say now, like, oh, I would do it differently. But that’s because I got that moment. Mm-hmm. You know, I got the big moment of, you know, all my friends, all my family. But yeah. I don’t talk to the majority of the people that were there at no fault of theirs or mine life.

Just, I’m just, yeah. You know, just happens. Mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: Did you get pushback with the no kids at your wedding?

Colleen Borgert: I did. There were a couple people that gave me pushback. Um, a couple family members and a couple friends. Uh, one of my bridesmaids had had her daughter like two weeks before the ceremony, so she brought her daughter to like, feed her parents came like, things like that didn’t bother me.

Yeah. But if I knew if I am, if I let. One family bring their two kids, then the next family had, and then before you know it, it’s 500 people. Right. And you know, so it’s not that the children, it was more so just I needed the number as low as possible to be able to invite all those people I no longer see anymore.

Christa Innis: Right. And then you wanted to be equal playing ground for everybody. Right. For everybody. Totally makes sense. Yeah. That’s one thing people don’t realize. And a lot of the stories I get, it’s like, they’re like, just make me the exception. Oh, my kids are fine. It’s like, well, you don’t understand if I let you bring your two kids and then yours.

And then I read a story the other day where an aunt was told it was just the aunt and uncle, and then she RSVP’d for. Her adult children who are four kids, their significant others and their kids. So, so she wrote in on the card 15 or something, extra people.

Colleen Borgert: I can’t

Christa Innis: like you’re not talking to one extra person.

You’re talking three extra tables. Two extra tables,

Colleen Borgert: yeah. Like in, in, in what world and in what mind does that aunt think that that is okay? Like I can’t wrap my mind around people that do things like that. But there’s people out there that do it. Mm-hmm. All the time. Yes. It’s crazy.

Christa Innis: It’s, it’s again that mind frame of me.

This, this is, this is gonna affect me if I can’t do it this way, or Oh, it’s fine. Right. I’m the exception. She loves me so much. Yeah. I’m her favorite aunt. Yeah. Yeah. And it’s so funny ’cause when I like do these skits, people are, I’m like, when I’m like acting them out, I’m like, oh gosh, this is so dramatic.

I’m making this 10 times worse than it probably is. And people will comment and they’ll be like, no, that exact thing happened to me. Or like, that is exactly what, yeah. Talk that way. Yeah. I’m just like, oh man, this is wild. Okay, speaking of before we get too over on our time, so are you still, are we still okay on time?

Yeah, I, I’m, I’m good. Okay. Let’s get into this week’s wedding story submission. So, as always, I’ve not read this yet, so feel free to stop me at any time and react or we’ll just kind of react together. Okay. Here we go. Okay. Let me see if I get my scroll. Okay, here we go. Here.

Bridesmaid Meets Her Groom’s Family

Hello Krista. I just wanna say I love your skits.

I have a story that still blows my mind years later. I’m not sure if it’s juicy enough to be considered drama, but it was wild for sure. Back in October of 2013, I started dating a man who was seven years older than me. I was 23 and he was 30. He had a younger sister who was exactly one month older than me.

She was the baby of the family and never did anything wrong in their eyes. She was also a teacher, which becomes important later because I’d always been, I’d always wanted to be an elementary school teacher, but had to pay for college on my own. Most of his family lived in New York or Florida, which also plays a role later.

Okay,

Colleen Borgert: hold on. So we’ve got a 30-year-old man. Mm-hmm. Dating a 23-year-old.

Christa Innis: 20. 23-year-old? Yes. Okay. And sister, who’s also 23 is my Okay. Teacher. Got it. Out of state relatives? Yes. Okay. By May, 2014, my then boyfriend had been in and out of the hospital several times for various issues, even having surgery to remove his appendix.

He thanked me for being by his side through everything and bought me a nice coach bag to show his appreciation. I had never owned a designer purse before. Then he asked my youngest sister for help, for help planning something my sister knew. I absolutely hated surprises and told me he wanted to propose and ask for suggestions.

So she’s just like, this is what he wants to do. Okay. I’m like, at what point? Okay, wait, so may They met in October, 2013 by May, 2014. So is it like a year and. No, not even, no, that’s just like six months. Oh, that’s like six months later.

Colleen Borgert: November, December, January, February. Yeah, that’s like five, six months. Oh, wow.

Okay. Okay. We are going, went

Christa Innis: along. Okay. Uh, then he asked. Okay. She gave him several ideas, so I wouldn’t know which one he’d pick or when it would happen. He also asked my biological dad for permission, which was odd because I’d always been closer with my mom. Okay. Mm-hmm. You would think he would know that, but maybe not in five months.

I mean only six months. Who knows? Who knows? Yeah. In 24, in June, 2014, he proposed and I said, yes, his youngest sister. Okay, so now his youngest sister planned a visit to our town in July, 2014 to see one of her guy friends. Okay. He messaged her brother. Okay. I’m like drawing my head. Yeah. Oh yeah. Duh. Oh my gosh.

Saying she wanted to see him and meet me. Okay. So they hadn’t met.

Colleen Borgert: And she’s getting ma. Okay. So she has yet to meet even his family at this point?

Christa Innis: Yeah, and they’re engaged. So she’s just kind of, okay. So she was just giving us background on the sister, but at this point they hadn’t even met. So he meets this girl and proposes in six months.

She hasn’t met the family. Maybe they don’t live, comes in town. Right. So she comes in town when she wants to meet. We planned everything around her visit, but when she arrived, she met up with her friend and blew us off.

Colleen Borgert: Oh, okay. To this.

Christa Innis: Oh, it gets better. I have never met her

Colleen Borgert: to this day. Hold on. Pause.

Pause one. They’re still together. I don’t, well, I don’t know if she

Christa Innis: just wrote to this day. I’ve never met her. Oh, oh. So I’m like really confused, like, is this, we’re talking 11 years later. And that 2014, unless I’m reading, is

Colleen Borgert: weird, flabbergasted. Like, so there’s nothing to indicate if the, if they are still together, except the phrase.

To this day, I still have not met her.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I’m gonna see. Let’s see. Okay. Let’s see what happens next. But I’m pretty sure she means like she just blew her off that time and then that was it. I don’t know. Okay. She says we set our wedding date for Saturday, October 25th, 2014. So about a year after they met, no one from his family was able to attend.

Oh.

Colleen Borgert: Red. Is that a red, is that a flag for you? I think it’s

Christa Innis: a red flag. Yeah. That’s a why. Okay. So Sister blew, blew them off, doesn’t go to meet her. And then no one from his family can just make it right. That, that seems red. That’s red flag. Red flags are everywhere for me. They’re, they’re popping. I’m sorry to this.

I mean, I don’t know what happens next. So, I’m sorry to this person that, that sent this in, but I’m just like, this is all very fast. Yeah. And weird that his family can’t show up.

Colleen Borgert: Right. And I think the, the, the age is like, the red flags are like popping and I’m like, hold on a second. So I’m excited to hear what comes next.

Yes. ’cause I’m trying to put it all together in my mind.

Christa Innis: Yeah, same. I know I’ve got like the family tree going on right here. Yeah, drawing here. Um, okay. Um, so no one from his family was able to attend, but they planned to watch the ceremony live on his sister and like, oh,

Colleen Borgert: 2014, is that like what on, like, how do you watch it live in 2014?

Yeah,

Christa Innis: because Facebook Did you like Zoom? Like I don’t even remember Facebook Live in 2014 because was I in 2014? Oh, I was having a baby. Okay, you’re like where? Yeah, I was having a baby. You were. But yeah. How do you I don’t know because I remember, okay, I was working at trade show. I honestly think it was 2014 at my fir, one of my first jobs outta college.

And they, my manager, I worked in marketing and she was like, look at this new app where you can live stream. And I remember her showing me, and that was before like Facebook Lives and stuff, because then I think it was bought by Facebook. So that may some, she had something, she had something, something maybe even like FaceTime and can you, you could FaceTime then, right?

I don’t even know. I

Colleen Borgert: feel like I still had a flip phone back then. Like with the A, B, C texting, you know, like, dun, dun dun. Oh my gosh. You had to hit it like three. I mean, you’re so young. Did you ever have a phone like that? I’m not that much younger than you, honestly. Oh, you look amazing Ellie. How you tell me you’re younger than me?

I’m turning 35 this year. Okay. Yes. You are a baby. You are a baby.

Christa Innis: Is that what, five years? That’s not seven. Seven. I, it’s funny though. I see seven. Oh, okay. Well, I don’t know. Yeah, it’s all, it’s alright. It’s all I feel like you’re at, I’m at the age where like. I, I was gonna say I have friends in their twenties, but I’m like, I don’t, I guess I have some friends in their twenties, but I have friends in their four, you know, like it’s Right.

You’re

Colleen Borgert: now to the point where you can go both sides.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I mean, I had an hour long conversation with my like 85-year-old neighbor last night and it was the best, like, I love chatting with her and so I’m like, I just, age doesn’t matter to me. Yeah. But, um, it’s funny, I like see 2014 and it also feels like yesterday and then I’m like, wait a second.

I have to remind myself, we’re like in the 20. That was a long time ago. Yeah, it was a while ago. Oh my gosh. Um, okay, she says, um, then on his sister’s birthday, September 26th, we’re giving some personal details though, so hopefully they don’t listen to this. Um, he was in the hospital again. I had no cell service and was too focused on my fiance.

The next day I reached out to her, to which, her belated happy birthday. So I’m confused. So. She says they never met. Maybe they just mean in person. So she talked to her. I think she has to meet in person. I,

Colleen Borgert: yeah, because she came in town in July, the sister blew her off.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Colleen Borgert: And then I’m thinking September he gets sick.

And then the wedding is in October.

Christa Innis: Yeah. That’s what it sounds like.

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. So, so they just haven’t met in person. They’re a, B, C, texting each other, right?

Christa Innis: Yeah. On their flip list. Texting. Yeah. So, okay. So she reached out to Wisher, um, a belated happy birthday and apologized for missing it the day before. She completely lost it on me, calling me a horrible person for ignoring her on her birthday.

Colleen Borgert: No hard pass.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like, we’re not like five or six years old where we like, you know, you are at this point, if she was praying like 24, like you can survive one

Colleen Borgert: day.

Christa Innis: Right. And your brother’s in the hospital. Mm-hmm.

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. Like, yeah. That’s, that’s another flag flags.

Christa Innis: Huge red flag. Yes. Where, where are his parents in all of this?

Like, right, like she hasn’t really mentioned them except that they’re just not coming. They’re not coming. Which is weird ’cause it says family’s in New York and Florida. They’re in, um, Kansas City. It says. Okay. Then she insulted me saying she was a teacher and I was too dumb to finish college and get my teaching license.

Oh no. Just missing a birthday by one day and being with your brother in the hospital.

Colleen Borgert: Oh no. College. If you go to college, it does not make you any smarter than anybody else. I don’t get that many Gives, gives you a set of tools to be able to do a job. It doesn’t equate to being smarter than anybody.

Right?

Christa Innis: Yeah. And don’t, I just don’t get that mentality of like mm-hmm. Oh, I went to college and you didn’t, it’s like you probably went to college ’cause you had either a privilege to go to college, right? You had funds to go to college. You had, you don’t, you don’t know the full story of, and you’ll just choose not to.

And that it’s ally. Okay. And there’s no one’s smarter if we’re going or not going. Right? Oh

Colleen Borgert: yeah. That, that would, that would be like a, like I would feel that as a knife. Mm-hmm. Like that, that comment to me that that would stay with me. I feel like I’d carry that for a while.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh, for sure. Um, it says, after that she blocked me on everything.

My fiance was upset for a moment and then defended her saying That’s just who she is, and she’ll come around soon. Soon enough. No, someone that says that they’re not coming around Uhuh. And that’s also like, that is your

Colleen Borgert: fiance.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Colleen Borgert: This is the person that you’re getting ready to say I do too. And you’re just, he’s just gonna be okay with people being mean to you.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And see, this is where, again, I don’t know the rest of the story, so I’m sorry if it works out a different way, but like, I hope, I don’t know, maybe it doesn’t work out, but like someone that like jumped the gun really quickly to someone that was much younger than him and was like, let’s move fast. Six months from now we’re getting engaged.

My family’s not gonna be there. I don’t know. I’m getting some bad vibes and I don’t, yes. So

Colleen Borgert: I live by the rule that whoever you date, if you can subtract that amount of years and you wind up under the age of 18, it, it shouldn’t happen

Christa Innis: yet. You know? So, so if you subtract her age by their distance Yes.

Yeah. Of seven years.

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. Then I’m like, Hmm, that’s, that’s icky to me a little bit. Mm-hmm. You know, not to say that it, it, it won’t work out, and I hope that it did, and I hope that they’re happy. But that age gap, the, the life experiences that people have are so vastly different. Yeah. You know, a 30-year-old to a 37-year-old, they’ve had a lot of similar life experiences.

You know, you minus that number and it’s like, okay, they’ve been a, a grown adult for a long time, so it’s not necessarily the number that I get. Tripped up on. Yeah, it is. How much life experience is attached

Christa Innis: to those numbers? No, that’s a really, that’s a really good point. ’cause people are always like, well, my parents are this or that.

And it’s like, it’s a good point of like, well, when did they meet? How did they meet? What, what were they at in their life? Right. Um, ’cause yeah, I’m thinking like 23. Like, I was like freshly. I mean, I graduated at 23, so I was like, freshly outta college 30. Like, you’ve been in the, you know, job field for a while.

Colleen Borgert: Yes. And you know what you want in life, you know, and you know this man, he may be like, yeah, that, that’s the woman that I want. I’m going after her. You know, I’m, I’m gonna, I’m gonna get her. But was she ready for that? Could she see the red flag of hey, your fiance. He is not supporting you right now. And I think that that comes with life experience, you know, just growing into your own as a woman and, and the value that you bring to the table, you know?

Yeah. So, I don’t

Christa Innis: know. It’s a little, Hmm. Yeah, it’s a little, um, interesting. Okay. She says she never watched our wedding. Okay. So they got married and to this day, I haven’t spoken to her since September 27th, 2014. So we’re talking about 11 years. So they

Colleen Borgert: got married still. I’m so happy that they are happy.

I wanna put that out into the universe, but I’m still so confused.

Christa Innis: Well, there is still more. Oh, okay. Let’s go something. We can see what, what’s so, but she, so she said she hasn’t spoken to her. I even visited their mother’s house Oh, oh. In New York in February of 2015 where she lived. I still never saw or heard from her.

Interesting. She lived there and then didn’t show up.

Colleen Borgert: You refused to come by

Christa Innis: in November. Here we go. In November, 2014, I asked for a divorce and thanked his dad and stepmom for trying to help us through our marriage troubles. I I, can I give a I knew it. I was like, can I applaud it? Like, yes girl. I just,

Colleen Borgert: you know, and maybe it was the sister, maybe she was looking at it all being like, I can’t support this.

Like, I can’t, but No, no. Nope. I can’t validate that sister’s comment in my mind. The comment I

Christa Innis: tried. Yeah, I know. We were trying to be like, I know. And it’s like, where does that come from though? Either like where I’ve, I have a lot of questions still too. Um, it says his stepmom threatened to have his dad, my now ex father-in-law.

End my life if I ever contacted her son again. What? Because she asked for a divorce that just a whole family sounds very toxic. And red flag. She

Colleen Borgert: dodged a bullet. Like literally it sounds like she dodged a bullet. Yeah. Because the mom is like, I’m gonna enter your life. So she

Christa Innis: also very threatening, like Right.

Trolling maybe?

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. No, that, that whole 30 to 23, my flag went up immediately. I knew it. Mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: You, I, I saw your face too. And you’re like, wait, so she’s 23? He’s 30 there. Oh, six months later they went. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Um, so they were married for, wait, they weren’t even married a month because it says their wedding date was set for October 25th.

She filed for divorce in November, so it wasn’t even a full month.

Colleen Borgert: Oh my like, okay. Does she include like, where am I now? Like, do we get to heal? Hear like the healing part of all of this because, um,

Christa Innis: no, but there’s a little bit more. Okay. Because like a little more of a paragraph. Let’s see. Um, it says we got back together for a little while, but never spoke to his dad, stepmom or sister again.

I later found out his older siblings were annoyed at how much their younger sibling, younger sister got away with. I mean, at 24 she threw a fit because her brother was in the hospital and I wished her happy birthday a day late. It wasn’t like I’d forgotten entirely. Side note, I graduated a few years later after divorcing her abusive brother.

Okay, now we’re getting a little more of the context. Yes. And I’m working on my master’s degree. I also ended up teaching for a few years.

Colleen Borgert: Yay. Yes, queen. I love that. That was

Christa Innis: a happy ending because you know what? You saw your worth and you saw like, I went out of this situation and I’m glad. It was not even a month that you were just like, you know what?

I’m out. And I hope this is a lesson too for people listening that like, ’cause I’ve had, I’ve had friends before that are like, well, everything’s already paid for. We have to go through the wedding. It’s like, it’s never too late. Like just if you are in a bad relationship, it’s okay. Like it’s Right. Or Yeah.

Colleen Borgert: And, and that goes like both ways too. Like as a boy mom, having only boys, like I want them to know that as well. Like they bring worth to the table too. And they need to be love and respected. And if they need me to fake a heart attack as I’m lighting that wedding candle so that they can run out of the back door, I, ugh, I will do it.

I will do it for them. It’s never too late for happiness.

Christa Innis: Yes. No, I totally agree. I feel like we, obviously, we don’t know the full situation here, but the fact that she threw in that he was abusive, abusive. Which I kind of got the vibe he was controlling or something because of, you know, the moving so quickly and, um, him being a lot older.

But, um, yeah, that, I mean, that’s, that’s a scary situation. So always knowing in your gut or like listening to your gut about it. I hope she had someone on her side that was like, Hey, this doesn’t seem right. Right. ’cause it sounds like they went to his, his dad and stepmom for like, helping through marital issues.

So I don’t know if she had anyone on her side that was like, Hey, this guy is not right for you. Like this Also having Yeah. Also having that like third party, like, I know like, as like, you know, you, it’s nice that his parents were willing to help, but I feel like they should probably have had like a th like a therapist or something come in and Right.

Really sit them down Yeah. And be like,

Colleen Borgert: this is what we’re looking at here.

Christa Innis: Yeah. But I’m glad she got out of that because that could be very bad.

Colleen Borgert: Oh my gosh, yes. Like I, and again, it’s that life experience. Like you just don’t know. At such a young age, sometimes you do, but most part, like, you just, you don’t know what you don’t know.

Yeah. And it’s hard to see those things until that frontal lobe is developed, which is like 25, you know? So wild.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. It’s wild how like, at least like my grandparents’ age, it’s like they were like married, having kids like 19, 20, and that was like what they were expected to do. And they went to college to get their MRS and they, you know, that was their job.

Mm-hmm. And it’s just Wow. ’cause they were still children in my eyes. I’m like, you’re at 19, 20, 21. Like, you’re still a kid, right.

Colleen Borgert: You’re just a baby. Like you are still a, I’m still folding clothes for my college kid. I’m like, there’s no way you can get married right now. Like. I am folding your t-shirts for you.

Like the, it’s, you’re not ready. You’re not ready.

Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s, it’s wild. Um, well that was a wild story. Thank you to this person for sending that in because I think, um, it was a different kind of story that we’ve got, you know, and I think it’s good to kind of get all the angles of these kind of stories, and I’m really proud of you.

So, yeah.

Maid of Honor Regrets & MIL Drama

Colleen Borgert: Good job writer in person. What do you call the, what do you call, like submitter?

Christa Innis: Um, yeah, story submitter or like, I usually like online, I’ll say like op, like original or original poster, but I guess they’re not really posting it. They’re just sending it to me, so, yeah. Writer in.

Colleen Borgert: Good job. Writer in.

We’re proud of you. Yeah,

Christa Innis: we got, we’ve got great grammar over here. Oh my gosh. The number. It’s really in intimate, intimate over here. Intimate. Which honestly intimate. I think you could do something with that. Like I see, I, I worked in marketing the past like 13 years, so I always think of things you could do a mint at wedding.

It’s called an intimate, intimate listening. Oh, it’s so

Colleen Borgert: intimate here. I love it. If you’re listening, do it and then tag me in it so I can see all of your love.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh, I love it. Okay. I always end these on, um, a couple of confessions that people send in. So let’s read these and then we’ll get on with our days.

Okay. Okay. Um, let’s see.

Okay. This says, I kind of regret who I picked to be my maid of honor. I would’ve still had her as a bridesmaid, but yeah.

Colleen Borgert: Oh, I, I think that’s normal. You know, we kind of touched on that earlier. Just your life just changes and unfolds in different ways that you just don’t know how you’re going to need different people, and it’s okay that she was that person in your life, in that moment and that it might be someone different right now.

Like, it’s okay that both of those happened, and both of those can be true.

Christa Innis: Yeah, and I’m, I’m kind of reading it as she hasn’t gotten married yet, and she like asked them, that’s how I’m reading, but maybe I’m reading it wrong. Like, she has, she asked them to be in the wedding and so like the wedding’s coming up, but they’re like, and she wants to take it back and like, maybe it’s like the maid of honor’s not really stepping up, but I think that’s too, it’s like.

Expectations and communication too. Or maybe that maid of honor just doesn’t really know what to do or, you know. Right. Or you’re just not as close with that person. It’s hard.

Colleen Borgert: It, yeah. It’s hard and you don’t wanna hurt anybody’s feelings.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, this says I plan to cut my mother-in-law out of my life, regardless of what my fiance wants to do.

Colleen Borgert: Oh, Ooh. That’s gonna, that’s, that’s a, a therapy for sure. I feel like. Right. Like,

Christa Innis: yeah. I mean, I feel like if, if the, if it’s valid where like the mother-in-law’s done something like terrible turn, just treats her poorly, then I feel like the fiance should be backing her up and like Right. Being that buffer.

I feel like it should never be between the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law because this is about the son or something. Right. Right. There’s

Colleen Borgert: something

Christa Innis: going on

Colleen Borgert: and it shouldn’t just be about her.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And so it’s gonna be almost impossible. To just cut out the mother-in-law if the fiance is still talking to her.

Right. So then I need like, figured out of like, who is he gonna fully support? What’s the issue here? Right. Unless you guys just don’t get along, then I don’t know how that would work. But

Colleen Borgert: then you have to figure out like you’re, you’re gonna form a family together. Mm-hmm. Like, you’ve gotta figure it out.

Christa Innis: Gotta figure it out. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Uh, okay. This last one says, my grandma’s being, my, my grandma being my biggest supporter for eloping helped me elope and deal with all of the backlash.

Colleen Borgert: I love a good grandma. Like, is there anything better than a good grandma? There’s, there’s not, the, the, there hands down top five things a good grandma.

Like, you can’t, you can’t beat it. Yeah. And one that helps you elope and then says, not only am I gonna help you do it and I’ll help you plan it, but a grandma that says, you go and then I’ll tell everyone I did it and I’ll take the heat. Like, go live your life. That’s an amazing,

Christa Innis: you need that. I remember, it’s kind of funny, like, um, so I grew up, like I grew up Ca Catholic and I, um, you know, so like with Catholic parents, like, it’s like you don’t move in before you get married, like, right.

Mm-hmm. Like you child, my grandma’s Catholic, my parents, you know, like that. So this is nothing against that. It was just like how like I was raised, you know? And um, I remember though being like, I’m so close with my grandma that when my husband and I now husband, we were gonna move in together. I told her first and she was like, that’s great honey.

I’m so proud of you and my parents were fine with it. I’m the youngest. So they were like, by that point, they were like

Colleen Borgert: right by that point they’re just like, get out of here. Yeah.

Christa Innis: But I was like, it was just funny. Like, I told my friends, I was like, yeah, I told my, my, now she’s 90. But at the time, you know, she was.

Gosh, how long have I been with my husband? It was, she was like probably 80, but I like told her first and she was like, that’s great. I’m so proud, so excited.

Colleen Borgert: See top five. You’ve got one. She’s great. Yeah, you’ve got one. I’ve got one too. My grandma, um, for her 80th birthday five years ago, she’s still here.

Um, she jumped out of an airplane. She went skydiving on her way and

Christa Innis: we all went and

Colleen Borgert: yeah, she even, you know, got a second set of dentures so that if they fell out, she would have her. She was ready. She visited all of her doctors to get like the, okay, but there’s nothing better than a good grandma.

Christa Innis: That is amazing.

Oh my gosh, I love that. Well, thank you so much for coming on. Thank you.

Colleen Borgert: This was so much fun. I truly enjoyed it.

Christa Innis: Good. Oh, I’m so glad. Like it was so much fun hanging out with you. And can you tell everyone again where they can follow you, find your content, and then anything fun you’re kind of working on?

Colleen Borgert: Yeah, so again, my name is Colleen Boer. You can find me on Instagram at at Miss Colleen b or at Leany Borg on TikTok. And if you are looking for educational news that is happening in this political climate, I am the teacher you want to follow. ’cause I’m gonna give it to you like it is. I love it. Awesome.

Well thank you so much. This was awesome. Thank you. Have a wonderful night.

Christa Innis: You too.

by Christa Innis

Stories from the Vault: My In-Laws Hijacked My Wedding!” (+ Bonus Teaser!)

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

Get the book!

Ever wonder what happens when a mother of the groom tries to hijack her son’s holiday plans?

Grab your wine, because this episode is a rollercoaster of family drama and jaw-dropping holiday chaos. Christa shares part 1 of Here Comes The Drama: A Ferris & Sloan Story, diving into Kate’s controlling ways and Ferris’ careful navigation to protect his relationship with Sloan. From Thanksgiving meltdowns to snow-covered windows, emotions flare, boundaries are tested, and secrets threaten to spill.

Stick around for the jaw-dropper: a carefully planned vacation turns into a perfect surprise. Will mom ruin it or finally learn to step back? Listen in and experience holiday drama like never before.

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month!

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

00:31 Podcast Review and Announcements

02:37 Patreon Episode Introduction

03:51 Mother of the Groom Files: Hot Takes

09:56 Confessions and 9-1-1 Advice

17:51 Stories from the Vault

27:44 Mother-in-Law Takes Over the Wedding

28:51 Family Drama Unfolds

29:42 A Wedding Without Approval

31:36 The Photographer Leaves

32:21 A Punch at the Wedding

32:56 Reflecting on Family Boundaries

34:10 Patreon and Future Plans

35:56 Audiobook Preview: Family Tensions

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

Birthday Special Announcement – Christa shares it’s her birthday and gives listeners a bonus look at a Patreon episode.
Podcast & Book Updates – Highlights the audiobook release and exclusive author’s note for fans.
Fiancé’s Silence – The groom-to-be stays surprisingly calm, brushing off the friend’s toxic behavior.
Family Dynamics – Relatives get involved, adding fuel to the fire and complicating emotions.
Mother of the Groom Chaos – Kate panics over Ferris and Sloan’s Christmas vacation, creating tension.
Holiday Meltdown – Thanksgiving turns dramatic with red wine stains, snow, and heightened emotions.
Ferris’ Firm Stand – Ferris sets boundaries with his mom while remaining respectful, protecting his relationship.
Subtle Support from Ted – Dad quietly navigates the drama, encouraging Ferris without escalating tension.
Vacation Planning Drama – Kate tries to insert herself into the couple’s plans despite their wishes.
Surprise Proposal Tease – Ferris plans a proposal, creating a cliffhanger moment that leaves everyone on edge.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“Ever wonder what happens when a mother hijacks her son’s holidays? Buckle up.” – Christa Innis
“There’s nothing like a little wine, snow, and family tension to spice up Thanksgiving.” – Christa Innis
“Some moms think control is love, but boundaries are how we survive the holidays.” – Christa Innis
“Ferris finally learned: protecting your peace sometimes means saying ‘no’ to your mom.” – Christa Innis
“The line between family tradition and family chaos? It’s thinner than you think.” – Christa Innis
“Boundaries aren’t mean they’re necessary, especially when someone tries to control your happiness.” – Christa Innis
“Weddings don’t create drama, they just shine a spotlight on what’s already broken.” – Christa Innis

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hey guys, welcome to this episode of Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Krista Ennis, and it’s actually my birthday today. and so I wanted to do something special for this birthday episode, and that is share one of my all time favorite Patreon episodes. Called the mother of the groom files. You guys are always asking me to share more stories and more content, and this was a wild episode with a wild story, so I thought I would give back to you guys this week.

But first, just a couple of fun announcements. We’re gonna start with a podcast review. This is from Monica. Daniel, it says, I don’t ever listen to podcasts, but when I saw your Facebook post that you started, one, I had to start. Your skits are like crack. You want more and more and more. LOL. Thank you so much for the kind review.

If you guys are loving the podcast, please help me out by leaving a review on iTunes, Spotify, wherever you listen. It just really helps the show get out to more people. Now one more extra bonus for this week is in case you missed it, my new book Here Comes The Drama is now officially an audio book, and I’m so, so excited.

I’ve talked about the process before, but I, worked directly with Tan Tour Media and I was able to listen to actual auditions from voice artists and Shiloh James just had the amazing voice. That I thought would fit so well with these characters. and so it’s now officially out. There’s also an exclusive author’s note that I was able to record myself and the little behind the scenes, note at the very end.

So as a little bonus to you guys, stick around at the very end of the episode, and I’m going to include a. First look at the book. You’re gonna get chapter one, directly to you so you can enjoy that. as a little bonus there. I don’t know how many times I just said bonus you guys. Side note. August has just been a wild month already.

I can hardly keep up. I can’t believe it’s already, by the time you guys listen to this, it’ll be almost over and I’m just like trying to catch up. I feel like if anyone else is feeling that way, I’m right there with you. anyways, I wanna remind you guys that I’m doing a big YouTube giveaway. This is actually the last week to enter.

you got a few more days left actually. so for my birthday month I did a YouTube giveaway. All you have to do is subscribe to my channel and then comment entered on my video, and we will link that in the show notes so you can easily find it at the bottom. we are doing a $75 Amazon gift card and a signed copy of my book for the grand prize winner.

And then every single week we’ve been picking winners for some smaller prizes as well. just a way to say thank you for all you guys that listen and follow on YouTube. Alright, so like I said, we are going to, Give you a special look at a Patreon episode. This was my all time favorite one, the mother of the groom files.

Mother of the Groom Chaos

This was a wild episode where I read, oh gosh, we do some hot takes and I gave you my takes on these mother of groom situations that were sent to me. a mother of the groom, 9 1 1 advice call. So someone sent me in something that happened to them and they’re trying to deal with the. Situation. And then I read a couple of stories and one is probably top 10 wildest mother of the groom stories I’ve ever read.

So we’re gonna go ahead and play that whole episode for you and I hope you guys enjoy it. And don’t forget to stick around to the very end of the episode for the first chapter of, here Comes the Drama.

Hey guys. Welcome back to another exclusive episode of, here Comes The Drama After Dark, just for my amazing wedding party, my Patreon members. I’m so grateful and happy that you’re here with me. First things first, if my voice sounds a little scratchy or I’m sniffling, I apologize in advance. I swear it’s allergies.

I’m not sick. I swear every time I step outside, I’m sneezing like four or five times. Just that time of year, you never know what you’re gonna get. And apparently this year the allergies are crazy to me. So I’m gonna try my best to not sneeze while recording. And we’re just gonna have some fun today. so last month we focused all around mothers of the bride.

Today we’re gonna go to the other mom at the altar, and that is gonna be the mother of the groom. And as I start this episode, I wanna remind you guys. That it’s not all moms. Okay. I still get messages from people that are like, you focus so much on moms all the time. We’re not all bad. And believe me, I know this.

I talk about it time and time again that my own mom and my mother-in-law are amazing. They are not like this. I honestly, until I started really making this content, I didn’t realize people dealt with this. of course I’ve heard and seen things over the years. But some of these stories are just so shocking to me that people can act this way, during a wedding.

So I know it’s not all moms. But there are some really crazy ones out there. So, that’s what we’re gonna focus on today. here’s what we got going on. Of course, I’d like to switch it up every single month just to make things a little interesting and, feeling a little more exclusive and special for you guys.

So first things first, we’ve got some Hot Takes Mother of the Groom Edition, confessions in Chaos. So. Reading some confessions that you guys sent me that actually happened to you and then that’s gonna turn into a 9 1 1. Someone has a little dilemma going on and they would like some advice. And then last, but certainly not least, of course it’s not least because you guys love it the best.

It’s the stories from the vault. today I’ve got two crazy ones and of course I’ve not read them, we got some good ones for you. But I’ll react, along with you. So let’s get started. let’s go right into the hot takes. All right, The mother of the groom should have a special role, but it doesn’t need to mirror the mother of the brides.

This is gonna depend in a relationship with each of them. I mean, I do think. In all the weddings I’ve been a part of, I should say most of them, they had a unique role. but a lot of times both moms were there doing everything together, or just being a part of, the bride getting ready.

Right. I. so of course you’re gonna have your special moment with your own mom versus your partner’s mom, but I really feel like they have similar roles because it’s both their kids’ weddings. I’m very anti, it’s the bride and groom’s day, or. The bride and bride’s day. The groom and groom’s day.

it’s the couple’s day. Right. So I feel like it’s really important that depending on your relationship, whoever wants to be involved is involved the same way we’re not leaving anybody out. Of course, that’s, again, depending on how your relationship is. okay. Two. It’s okay if the mother of the groom doesn’t help with the planning.

Support. Doesn’t always mean involvement 100%. I think sometimes I see stories where the bride gets so mad at the mother of the groom for not being involved, but. They don’t have to be, and that’s not necessarily their wheelhouse. there was one I read not that long ago where the bride was mad because she gave a task to the mother of the groom and it was basically to book the Airbnb for their wedding event and it was gonna be hosted in the backyard or something.

she kept saying like, oh, she was taking so long to do it. And by the time, know, it was getting closer and closer, all the ones that I had really liked were booked. And I was like. If I were the bride, I would never just put that in the hands of someone else. And I don’t blame the mother of groom for that because she might have never had this kind of responsibility before.

She might not be into planning and then this was just kind of put on her lap. Maybe she’s never booked an Airbnb. so when it comes to things like that, I don’t think it’s up to the mother of the groom to want to be involved. She can support you guys in other ways and I think that’s perfectly okay. number three, mother-in-laws giving input on the guest list should only happen early, not the month before invitations go out.

So they could give input or tips anytime, I’m sure, again, depending on your relationship. But yeah, we are not asking for. And like guest list a month before, that’s just too much. there was another mother-in-law story where they asked her way in advance to send a guest list and she kept refusing because she didn’t like that they were only gonna invite 100 people.

So she kept pushing back and saying like, no, I’m not sending you a list. I’m not sending you a list. then they went the extra mile and were looking in heraddress book to get. Her friend’s addresses to send an invite and I’m just like, if it’s gonna be that difficult, why even try? yes. I think everybody, if you’re gonna have your parents’ friends be invited, reach out to them early enough, give them a deadline and be very clear.

okay. I’m gonna do a couple more ‘ we’ve got a long story for you guys and I don’t want, it to be like a two hour episode. I’m sure you guys wouldn’t complain, but Okay. A neutral colored dress is totally fine as long as it’s cleared with the couple first. Uh, it’s so hard because some of these things are gonna be really individual.

Some people might be like, no, absolutely not. For me personally, I think neutral is totally fine. what’s wrong with neutral colored? Yes, maybe avoid white. but I think you can do other neutral colors in general. I think if you’re not sure, ask the bride groom, but. I would never assume that white is okay.

Right.

Number five, it’s not rude to set boundaries with your future mother-in-law. It’s healthy. That goes with for anybody, even people that you have a great relationship with. Boundaries are so good, I think so many times we think boundaries are a way of like shutting people out or being mean, especially if you’re a people pleaser.

It’s not like boundaries can be like, I turn my phone off at 7:00 PM and I spend time with just my family right here. I don’t answer the phone even for my best friend, my boss, whoever it is. And I think that’s so important because so many times, like we think we can be at everyone’s beck and call and that we’re gonna be mean if we say no or don’t answer.

But no, you gotta have boundaries. Last one. The best thing a mother of the groom can ask is, how can I support you instead of assuming what’s helpful. Yeah, I think that’s great. If you are in a wedding, if you are a mother of the groom, if you are the mother of the bride, if you’re a father, like whatever your relationship is to them, how can I support you is a great way.

Instead of just jumping in and saying, I’m taking this task from you because nobody likes that. Okay. Next section. We are gonna do some confessions. I have a couple of confessions here that people sent me, and then the last one’s gonna be more of like a 9 1 1. What do I do in this situation? Okay, first one, mother-in-law told my son she could help him come up with an escape plan.

What if the day of he gets cold feet? So I’m guessing the son then told his partner. It was like, my mom told me this. That’s insane. That’s insane. we wanna encourage the couple. I mean, unless it’s completely toxic and, it’s a bad relationship, which even then, like you gotta make sure like you really are protecting your son.

Otherwise, I’m not saying anything. I said this a while back in an episode. This girl was talking about her whole family didn’t like the partner of her brother. Right? And they wanted to say something so bad. And I was like, you can’t, you can’t say something if you just don’t like somebody, because if something blows up, it’s gonna go back into your face, right?

If you say like, oh, I don’t like her, she’s not right for you. It’s gonna come back to bite you. It’s better to just be supportive. of course if there’s certain things that they say that’s going to, that are just like, down or rude, put you down, that kind of thing. But if it’s just like, I don’t like them because of the way they talk, I don’t like them because they don’t seem right for you.

I’m just protecting you. Like, no, we don’t need to say that. Okay. Two. My bridal shower, my mother-in-law gave me a cookbook and said, you’ll need this more than anyone. No. Okay. As someone that I am very insecure with my cooking. Like I enjoy doing it when there’s no pressure. I like cooking for my family, but I feel like I’m surrounded by so many cooks that are like really good at what they do, that I’m just like, I just second guess everything.

that’d be a little insulting. my husband and I buy cookbooks all the time ’cause we like try new recipes and stuff. But to specifically say to someone, ’cause you need this more than anybody. That’s just a, we call that a backhanded compliment. Actually, I’m not, that’s not even a compliment.

That’s just backhanded. okay. My mother-in-law kept calling it her son’s wedding and didn’t mention my name once in the entire engagement announcement. Ooh, okay. I catch myself when I’m like talking about someone’s story or reading someone’s story, I’ll say like, bride this, and I’m like, no, I need to stop doing that.

The couple’s day, the couple’s wedding, it’s so ingrained in us to talk a certain way. Right. But I feel like society says like it’s the bride’s day. So when you say it’s like your son’s day and your leaving out his partner, that’s intentional, right? Yeah, that’s pretty hard. I had someone on my podcast, Janelle Riedel, was on my podcast a couple weeks back, and she, well, by the time this comes out, it’ll be probably like two months back.

But, she had a very similar story sent to her where there was a, birth announcement. So this woman was saying her and her partner, her and her husband decided they did not want their babies. Face put anywhere, like on social media or anything like that, they made this very clear to the parents.

They go to the parents’ house to go visit them when the baby was like a newborn and sitting right on the table, there was a newspaper clipping where they had a birth announcement. The grandparents put in a birth announcement in the newspaper. Not once did they mention the daughter-in-law’s name. It was just proud grandparents of said the baby’s name and then said their son’s name.

That was it. So that is intentional, you are purposely leaving someone out when it took two people to make that baby. So I don’t know. that’s making a statement for sure. Okay.

Here is the 9 1 1 confession. she’s kind of more of like asking for help. Right. Okay. My mother-in-law just told me she bought a white dress to wear to our wedding because it’s the only color she looks good in.

Okay. I’ve gotten similar ones before. Okay. I told her I wasn’t comfortable with that and she said I was being territorial should be honored that she’s making an effort at all. My fiance is trying to stay neutral. The wedding is in three weeks. What do I do? Okay, first things first. I’m only talking about this general situation right here because I don’t people coming back and being like, oh my gosh, I can’t believe you care about people wearing white at your wedding.

I personally, I wouldn’t care again. It depends on the relationship because if you already have a rocky relationship and someone’s like, I’m wearing white to your wedding, I’m getting a full gown. Again, back to the intentional. It’s intentional they want you to feel a certain way, right? So my guess is if she says, oh, I only look good in white, so I’m wearing a white dress to your wedding, it’s because there’s already some kind of rift there, right?

First things first, the fiance staying neutral is not okay. He needs to make a choice of who he’s backing up. if he’s choosing to marry you, should be backing you up, right? He needs to be the one to, communicate to his mother that this is not appropriate or okay. Now again, I’m speaking for this couple because she has made it clear she is not okay with it.

If you’re okay with white at your wedding, this is not. Relating to you, right? So he needs to be the one to communicate to his mom, Hey Sophie, whatever her name is, has said she’s not okay with it. And I would actually rather her be the only one in white as well, really make it more what he thinks and be that bridge, right?

Because if he’s trying to stay neutral. It’s gonna make them bash even more, right? Because they’re both gonna try to get him on their side. So he needs to make a clear standing point. Being the wedding is only in three weeks, so she’s gonna try to like push back and push back and say like, oh, well there’s no time to get a new dress.

Oh, I can’s, the only dress I have. There’s time. There’s time. you’ve made it very clear that you’re not comfortable with it, so. All you can do is communicate and you need to let your partner know that he needs to communicate to her. that being said, if she still chooses to show up that day in a white dress, you can.

There’s different things you can do. Talk to your vendors ahead of time, maybe your photographer and say like, Hey, my mother-in-law has told me he’s gonna wear a white dress. What do we do? They might be able to situate her. I mean, it’s hard because she’s the mom, so she’s gonna be in the front pictures.

They might be able to like move her. So someone’s like standing in front of her. I know this happened in one of the stories sent to me. She said the photographer worked with her and like, it was like an aunt though, and they put someone directly in front of her. So you couldn’t really tell. and then you have to decide how important it is to you and it’s hard.

This is where you are like, you know what? We’ve dealt with so much with her already. This is it for me. I’m done. I’m done dealing with it. Then you have to make that decision and tell your partner and try to get him on the same page. If this is one little blip in the day and there’s been no other issues, Just let it go. Everyone’s gonna know you’re the bride and everyone’s gonna look at her and be like, that’s ridiculous. So you kinda have to decide and make a decision on your own and with your partner to be like, how big of a deal do we wanna make this? Not saying you’re the one making a big deal, but like, do you wanna escalate it or just drop it?

Okay. So you guys listening at home,

what would you do? Let her wear it. And again, she would outshine nobody. Right? Would you ban her from photos? Would you ask the photographer to gray scale her dress or like move her somehow or politely ask her to sit the wedding out. These are like four different, complete different things. Me, if I were in her situation where you already communicated and it was an issue.

I think I would just let her wear it, not I wouldn’t shine anybody. And then I would probably be like, okay, photographer, what can we do here? And then I would just like not worry about it. But again, I’m not in that situation. It’s very hard when you already have like a bad relationship. Right. Okay, here we go.

lemme get a drink of my energy drink here. It’s just to warm up my vocals because. I’m telling you guys, these allergies are just like making my throat scratchy.

Hijacked Wedding Family of the Groom’s Control

Okay, here we go. Mother of the groom confessions. These are stories from the vault. So someone sent me these stories, okay? It’s finally my turn to share.

My husband and I had a set wedding date that was really meaningful to us, it also worked well with one of our closest friend’s work schedules. His mom had found a venue she thought would be perfect, but it wasn’t available on the date we’d chosen. She asked me what I thought about it, and if we’d consider switching dates.

I told her it was a beautiful venue, but I wanted to keep looking. We really wanted that specific date and I was also considering something outdoors. Then I went to work. When I got home, my husband was buzzing with excitement saying how thrilled he was that we had a venue and locked in our date. What? I was totally confused.

Turns out my mother-in-law had gone ahead and booked the venue anyway without waiting for our answer, just assuming she knew best. You are kidding me. Okay. I take back everything I said about reading crazy stories. This is the craziest mother of the groom story I’ve ever read. Why would you take that into your own hands?

And then I’m also wondering, I know that’s probably gonna come up, but I’m also wondering why the fiance heard it from his mom and was like, okay, this is awesome. This is cool. Wouldn’t he go to his like fiance first and be like, Hey, this is weird. Did you talk to my mom? But he’s like excited for it. Come on.

Okay, because we had agreed that his family would be covering the costs for the venue, I felt cornered. I ended up going along with a change and just tried to make it work. No. Oh my gosh. I feel terrible for her because here’s the thing, like, oh, I feel so bad for her because it’s like the husband comes in or partner comes in he’s like.

Oh, this is so great. We got this venue. So then she sees his excitement after already talking to the mom, the mother-in-law, and now she feels like she has to say yes because they’re paying for the venue. in reality she already told the mom like, no, I’m gonna keep looking. And she was like, you know what?

Screw you. I’m gonna do what I want anyways. no, it’s not your wedding. Oh my gosh. A few weeks later, I was talking about wedding dress in SPO during a family dinner with his side of the family. That’s when my father-in-law decided it was his job to take charge of my wedding dress, even though my family was paying for it.

Okay. In general, it’s weird that the family thinks that they have control over her wedding dress, but the father-in-law. I wouldn’t trust my own father to pick out my wedding dress. I wouldn’t trust my husband to pick out my wedding dress and he is got great style, but so it’s nothing against that. It’s just that’s such a personal, personal thing.

Oh my gosh. He insisted I buy it on Amazon to save money. But I had no problem spending $900 plus on my husband’s suit. That seems like a lot of money. We spent, gosh, I think under 300 from my husband’s suit. this isn’t sponsored or anything, but we used Modern Groom and it was like so easy. They sent it to us at home.

My husband and I are very like, let’s check the boxes. Like we. I don’t need to go somewhere and see 10 suits and see which one looks best. We pretty much were like, let’s look at them online and do it like, I don’t know. I know everybody’s different. That was just us, $900 plus for a suit, but he wanted her to order her dress on Amazon.

I politely told him I’d figure the dress out with my mom. He went ahead and ordered several dresses anyway was furious when I told him I’d already made a decision with my mom. Ew, I’m sorry. That is gross behavior. They are to completely like pulling her out of her own wedding situation. I need to talk to this person and get her on the podcast because this is like what?

That moment pretty much set the tone for the rest of the wedding planning. Tense. Okay. So again, where’s the fiance in all this? Why is he not backing her up and be like, dad, that’s fricking weird. Why are you ordering wedding dresses for my fiance on Amazon? What? he should be standing in here saying like, no, this isn’t okay.

I’m getting heated guys. Okay. My mother-in-law wanted to plan every little detail. She constantly reminded me that I hadn’t been married before, almost as if it was her way of justifying why she needed to take over. Oh, I’m so mad for her. Any bride, I mean I should say, majority of brides haven’t been through that before, and even if they’ve been married before.

Typically I see like they do a different style, like they do something different. Right. But it’s like even if she had been married before, I feel like this mother-in-law would’ve come in and been like, no, we need to do it my way. Like, why is that any constellation to be able to go in? She’s probably been married 30 years, so things have changed a lot since she got married.

So she’s trying to like redo her wedding through her son and daughter-in-law. It’s like, no, no, no, no. She kept pushing for her daughter, my sister-in-law, who I’m not close with to be one of the bridesmaids. Apparently she wasn’t a bridesmaid in her other sister-in-law’s wedding five years ago, and my mother-in-law wanted to fix that.

Oh my gosh. This family, I explained kindly that I had a specific vision and that anyone who wanted to wear a specific color to the wedding was welcome to wear dark green, but it wasn’t required. Later I got a message from my sister-in-law, double checking the color she’d been told by my mother-in-law, and it was the exact color of my bridesmaid dresses.

Why am I not surprised? Oh my gosh. I talked to her directly. She was super understanding, and from then on she came to me to confirm details. Oh my gosh. This mom was just like, Nope, it’s my wedding. Now I’m gonna do what I want. But the craziest thing, it happened a couple months before the wedding when we were sending out invites.

I had a few friends come over to help address envelopes and had previously asked my mother-in-law for all of her addresses the day of, she told me to just drop off the invites and send them out herself. No, I’m calling it now. I dunno what’s gonna happen. Do not do that. Do not do that. Someone that’s already ignoring your every wish.

your, every vision for the wedding is not gonna follow through with that simple task. No. Okay. I don’t like the next sentence. I was rushing to work, so I dropped them off and said I’d come pick up whatever was left later. No, But Why do we need the mother-in-law to send them out herself if they’re already labeled and everything?

Ugh. Biggest mistake she says. After she mailed the invitations, she casually mentioned we might need to do a reprint. I was confused. I had like 59 extras. Why would we need more later that week? While checking over the shared guest list spreadsheet, which I finalized eight months ago and shared with both sets of parents and my husband, I found the issue.

She sent out over 100 extra invitations about a month and a half before the wedding. My like planner self is getting so bent outta shape right now. This is not, oh my gosh. We need like a mean bridesmaid for every one of these nice brides because this is not okay. And again, where is the husband? Where is the fiance?

Also you don’t need to share. Your guest list with everyone. I had no reason to be like protective of my stuff, but like I don’t need to send my guest list to every single person, so just my husband and I had it like, why does everyone need to see every single person? We reached out to all the parents and they sent us their list, and I took care of everything else.

Again, if someone’s already showing you not to trust them, don’t trust them with a new and important task. Okay. She says, my family was providing the food, so I was beyond frustrated. I had always said they could invite as many people as they wanted, but it needed to be finalized months in advance. I asked my husband if he recognized the names he didn’t or were they distant cousins?

He had specifically said didn’t want there, or they were distant cousins that he specifically said he didn’t want there. the worst part, because the invites were already sent, I had no way to contact these people and uninvite them. I’m exhausted. I am exhausted for this bride. I cannot believe that this happened.

I am so sorry. couple more things that happened behind my back too. She tried to gather baby photos of me, even though I specifically said I did not want a slideshow or a wedding video. She tried to invite her own guest list to a bridal shower that was being hosted by my aunt. Why am I not surprised?

She did a hundred extra people to the wedding? I didn’t know what happened with this. Okay, let’s see. Then came the wedding day. People showed up late. Two of my husband’s groomsmen arrived an hour and a half after they were supposed to, and 30 minutes after the ceremony was scheduled to start. What? Oh my gosh.

People need to be reminded a hundred times. Some people need to be reminded a hundred times. Luckily we have no one late for our wedding, but I hear it happen all the time. we asked everyone to arrive an hour early for photos. Even my in-laws showed up 30 minutes late, adding to the chaos.

Luckily, once the ceremony started, everything turned out beautifully, but the lead up absolute hell. I need to know how this ended. I need to reach out to her and ask her what? The heck happened after this. Like, what is going on here? Because this is literally insane. The fact that a hundred x people were invited.

I need to know, like, did you need a bigger venue, a bigger room? How much was the cost, like. It was probably one of those where she was like, the mother-in-law was like, we’re paying for it. So if I wanna invite more people, I can. It’s my party now. that’s where I’m like, don’t accept money from people.

They’re gonna hold strings over your head and dangle it like a carrot. Right. if people want to help as a gift and you respect them and they respect you, then yes, let’s do it. If they wanna help, that’s great. If you already have a weird relationship, if they’re trying to control things, no, we’re not gonna ask for that.

We’re not gonna accept the help. again, where’s the fiance? Where’s the fiance in all of this? And why is he just on the Back burner or behind the scenes when his mom’s taking the lead. your wedding was hijacked. They, they took it from you. And I feel like those are the kind of weddings where people are most unhappy when they look back.

I’m glad she’s able to say, you know what? Everything turned out beautifully. Maybe it’s just me, but I would not be so, I wouldn’t be so like, cheerful about that. I’d be like, you know what, this was my, time to do my thing and it was taken from me, so I dunno. Oh my gosh. I feel like my blood pressure is up from that story.

A Wedding Day Gone Off the Rails

All right, I got one more short, one short-ish, so let’s get into it. All right. We almost canceled the wedding.

Everyone in our families was horrible to us. My mom made a huge deal about my dad coming with his wife. They’ve been married for 10 years. My mother-in-law was against the whole thing because in her view, you’re supposed to date for exactly five years first and already have bought a house. Oh my gosh.

Where people come up with these things. Some people get married after six months. Some people get married after six years. Some people get married for 20 years some people already have kids first. Like, why does it matter to you? If two people decide together, Hey, let’s get married. Just let them, oh my gosh.

I can’t imagine being so like stuck in my ways. We were 33 and 36 and we didn’t see the need to wait. I. She didn’t approve of my red inexpensive wedding shoes or my pre-ordered dress from Ali Express. She didn’t like that. My venue only held 100 people, that we invited only close friends and immediate family, and that her cousins weren’t invited, that we didn’t have a formal dinner, and that we skipped a dance floor altogether.

What that sounds like to me is that it’s just two people that were right to get married and knew exactly what they wanted, and I think that’s amazing. All weddings don’t have to be the same. All weddings don’t have to have a dance floor or an open bar or a formal dinner. Do what makes sense for you if you just wanna party and have some cake, invite your favorite people more power to you.

I don’t get why. I bet people get so like uptight about it. We hosted a five hour gathering with an open bar and buffet full of food. What more could you ask for? You got a full buffet of food and you got an open bar. I mean, that would make me happy. you don’t really need much else. Right. She even hated that.

My husband made my wedding bouquet himself. He crafted it as a final gift. I think that’s amazing. Wow. I received before walking down the aisle. He made it as a gift. I received walk before walking down the aisle. One of his close friends handed it to me right before I entered. love that. I’ve never heard of that before.

I actually laughed the whole way down the aisle because my mom didn’t make it to the church on time. Where is this Poor girl’s family. My mother-in-law shushed me for laughing. She had already screamed at my husband the night before. My mom wasn’t at the church because she wasn’t ready. Oh my gosh. I had gone to her house to have my makeup and hair done, but I was left alone while she and my younger sister disappeared to another part of the house to get themselves ready.

My older sister stayed with me for a bit, even though she was pregnant with twins. She eventually left for the church. Oh my gosh. I just don’t understand. People just can’t be there for someone else let them shine on their day. It’s so disappointing to hear these stories where they’re like, yeah, I was alone, or My mom didn’t come, or My maid of honor was late, or The groomsman never showed up.

It’s like, come on. It’s not that hard. Be on time or be where you need to be for people that you really care about. It was so sad that even the photographer left quietly without saying anything. I was ready to go, but my mom still wasn’t, and she told me to wait because she needed more time.

I said, not my problem, and left. She arrived 15 minutes later. Okay. That’s crazy that the photographer left really though. ’cause that has a contract tied to it. You shouldn’t just leave your photographer. My mother-in-law invited her cousins to the church anyway. One of my husband’s female cousins wore a white dress another white dress debacle.

I went out to the terrace with one of my best friends for a cigarette, one of my husband’s other cousins followed me to see what I was doing and didn’t leave until I did. Weird. Later. One of my husband’s brothers told me that now I was a part of the family. He hated me and then punched my sister’s husband in the face.

What? Okay, this is weird. So there’s family drama, and with all of that, I was still so happy. I honestly didn’t care, but I cut them all off after that. I don’t know how people move forward after these crazy events take place. I could not stand to be like at a holiday with someone that treated my family like that.

Sounds like she cut them off, but like that’s hard ’cause it’s your husband’s family and if you have kids together or if you move, or all these other big life events like. Where’s the family now? so that’s terrible. I’m props to you for having good boundaries and all that, but gosh, both these stories are wild, wild, wild.

You guys know, we have a lot of mother-in-law stories, and again, not all mothers, but these stories right here, were sent by two different, couples. We get a lot of them just because I think a lot of brides follow me, but I do my best to go through different quote unquote problem. People, right. So, we just get a lot of mother of the groom stories, but I promise you there are crazy stories about every member I’ve seen.

Oh my gosh. I think I need get my blood pressure checked. That’s that first story was wild, you guys. Oh my gosh. Okay. Well that was a wild ride. Thank you guys for listening and being a part of my wedding party Patreon. It means so much to me that you guys are here. and take the time to hang out with me here.

a lot of fun to put these episodes together because I kind of feel like it’s. Off the hook. I don’t know. I put a lot of planning behind it, but it’s just different than the regular episodes. So it’s fun to do these little bonus ones. If you guys love this episode, please do me a huge favor and tell one friend about this Patreon.

Share it on social media, share it with a friend in a text message, whatever that is. just spreading the word really helps, more people hear about it. So let’s keep that going. Next month, we are gonna chat all about the wedding guest stories. And this is one we haven’t really talked too much about.

So I’ve got some good ones from the vault that I’m gonna share with you. And if you guys have a story that you wanna contribute from a wedding that you’ve been to or you’ve seen, or your own wedding, or you’ve read it somewhere, send it to me in the, wedding party, Patreon group chat, or you can message it to me anywhere.

And, I’ll try to get it on the show. All right guys. Thanks so much for hanging out with me this month, and I will see you next time. And until next time, keep the drama fun and the champagne flowing. Bye now.

All right guys. I hope you enjoyed that special. Look at a Patreon episode at full disclosure. We are currently pause on Patreon right now, so if you’re looking to sign up, don’t, ’cause it won’t be there. to be completely transparent, I just don’t have the bandwidth right now, so I just didn’t feel like it was right for me to.

Keep creating content over there when I just didn’t feel like I could give all of myself to it. So I’m putting more into the skits, more into my book, and then more into, of course, these podcast episodes here. So I hope you guys enjoyed it again, that was such a fun episode for me to put together, and I’m glad more of you guys can listen to it.

The Thanksgiving Reveal That Changed Everything

Now as promised, here’s the first chapter of my audiobook. Here comes the drama. Enjoy.

Part one, chapter one, Kate can’t believe her ears. She picks up her glass of wine, throws back what’s left, then stands up and storms out of the living room with a loud huff. Her daughter Jenny, watches her leave in pure confusion, then glances at everyone else before quickly jumping off the couch to follow her.

Mom, are you okay? She yells after her hurrying closer. She notices a drop of red wine has stained her mom’s white blouse. Ugh. I just know she’s doing this to get my son away from me. Kate charges into the next room looking unsteady, like she’s about to burst. What are you talking about, Jenny? Quickly, interjects Sloan isn’t taking anyone away from you.

Her eyes drift toward the window where snow has just started falling. At first it was light and quiet, barely noticeable, but now it’s beginning to fall in thick clumps, sticking to the glass, like something trying to get in. Kate pushes up her round brown glasses as a be of sweat drips from her forehead.

Did you not just hear them? They come waltzing in here on Thanksgiving to tell us they’re not going to be here on Christmas. Her voice trembles with a mix of hurt and disbelief For a moment, she questions whether or not she’s overreacting, but the thought vanishes as quickly as it came. Her stance is firm now.

There’s no going back. Jenny looks at her mother dumbfounded. She takes a deep breath to save herself from calling out her mother’s ridiculousness right here, right now. Yeah, they planned a vacation together. I think it’s perfectly acceptable. She runs a hand through her long, dirty blonde hair, exhaling sharply.

You can’t tell them not to go on vacation together. The snow was falling harder Now. Piling on the windowsill in soft, heavy heaps, like the weight of everything left unsaid in the room. But on Christmas, there are 364 other days of the year. Why’d they have to pick Christmas? Kate’s voice gets louder each time she talks and there is clear panic in her voice like she’s been robbed.

My guess is because they wanted to spend the holidays together. Jenny sarcastically replies, this isn’t some weird thing for a boyfriend to do with his girlfriend. Kate rolls her eyes before putting her head down and her hands and mumbling. You just watch Jenny. This is how it all starts. Then soon they’re just not going to show up for certain holidays.

She looks up staring off as if she just had an epiphany hearing her own words. Mom. You should be happy that Ferris found someone he loves and wants to spend his time with. Jenny says, resting a hand on her mom’s back. Now can we go back out there, put on a happy face, and enjoy the rest of Thanksgiving?

She raises both point of fingers to the corners of her mouth, exaggerating a smile. After a long pause, Kate pulls a tissue out of her pocket and dabs her face. Although Jenny didn’t see any tears. Fine. Kate stands tall, touches up her short brown hair, and forces a painful, wide smile. How’s this great?

Jenny gives her a swift thumbs up and gestures for her mother to follow her back out into the living room where the others are. GI is the first to step back into her parents’ living room. Where she spots her brother, Ferris at the fridge, grabbing two beers, one for their dad, Ted, and one for himself. The room is warm with the scent of Thanksgiving leftovers, and the muffled hum of conversation drifts in from the dining room.

You need more wine, babe. Ferris calls out over his shoulder. His voice casual but affectionate. His short, faintly golden hair with brown undertones is slightly tussled. A few strands falling in his face as he reaches for the fridge. Sloan is curled up on the couch, legs crossed, swirling the last bit of red wine in her glass, her long, almost black hair drapes over one shoulder, catching the warm glow of the Christmas lights.

She’s wearing a soft knit sweater, dress in a deep burgundy, paired with thick socks, comfortable yet casually stylish in a way that almost seems natural to her. She looks over at him with a small knowing. Smile. No, I still have some left. Thanks, Sloane. Smirks and turns just a little as she notices. Jenny walking back in.

Oh hey, everything okay? Her eyes flick between Jenny and Kate searching for any sign of what just happened. She knew Kate was upset about the trip. But sometimes it was easier to pretend she didn’t notice than to invite more drama. Yeah. Sorry about that. Jenny says quickly, my mom thought she ate something bad.

Her voice is light, but there’s a flicker of something else beneath it before Sloan can press GI shifts gears. So anyway, tell us more about your trip. Where are you guys going? She walks right up to Sloan and sits down at the chair across from her. Kate Reenters the room lingering near the doorway, arms crossed displeasure, practically radiating off her.

We’re going to Santa Monica. Sloan replies quietly combing her hair behind her ear. I’ve never been before. Ferris knows I hate the snow, so he planned for a warm vacation to get us out of here. It was all his idea, so he’ll have more of the details. She looks over at Ferris now seated next to her on the couch, Ferris hands, beer to his dad.

Then takes a sip of his own and leans back. Yeah, I mean, I don’t have too much planned yet, but I thought we’d escape the dreaded Milwaukee winter and soak up some sun for once. He nods toward the window where thick clumps of snow swirl in the wind. Before reaching over and gently taking Sloan’s hand Sloan glances down at their intertwined fingers, a soft smile forming as warmth blooms in her chest.

But even in the comfort of this moment, she can feel Kate’s disapproval lingering like a heavy cloud that refuses to pass. That sounds amazing. Jenny jumps in quickly. What do you think, mom? Doesn’t that sound fun? Her voice is too chipper. Eyes flicking toward Kate with the hope that a simple question might smooth over the crack in the room.

Ted shifts slightly in his chair. His gaze fixed on his wife. He raises his eyebrows just enough to signal, go easy, try to be happy, but it’s clear he’s bracing himself after almost 30 years of marriage. He knows her moods, her tells he knows exactly where this could be headed. When Kate answers, yeah, it sounds great.

With a snap of sarcasm. Ted Exhales just barely for a split second. It seems like that might be the end of it, but then he catches the sudden shift. In her expression. She gasps his shoulders, stiffen. Here it comes. Maybe we should all go. Her somber mood instantly flips to excitement making her way to the front of the room.

Sloan tenses, every instinct screams at her to shut the idea down, but she hesitates. It’s not her place. Kate has always been dismissive of her. Why would this moment be any different? Funny mom, Ferris cuts in forcing a chuckle, but there’s an edge of unease in his voice. No, I’m serious. Wouldn’t it be great?

Kate stands as if she’s launching into a full blown presentation. She turns to her husband, eyes bright with enthusiasm. Ted, shouldn’t we go? Ted? Takes a deep breath. Kate. We can go to Santa Monica any other time. I don’t think we need to hijack our son’s vacation with his girlfriend. He runs a hand across his forehead as if trying to smooth out the wrinkles.

He’s certain are forming. Oh, come on. It’ll be so much fun to spend Christmas together in California. Kate is starting to act like this is the best idea she’s ever had. She turns back towards Ferris, gesturing to the Christmas tree already up in the living room, decorated with ornaments, with brief reminders of their childhood.

You know how much Christmas means to me. Ferris opens his mouth like he’s about to say something when a defeated look appears on his face, and he stops. He knows his mom. She doesn’t take hearing no very well, and it would turn into a huge ordeal if he tries to push back Now. He tries to figure out a way to get her to back off a bit and decides to change the subject.

Leaning forward and peeking around Sloan to catch his dad’s eye. Wow. Dad, I am so full. That Turkey you made was fantastic. Way better than last year’s. Ted Beams about to respond. When Kate jumps in. It was, you really know how to make the holidays special around here. All of you. Her smile is a little too bright as she claps her hands together.

Now, who wants dessert? She asks already pivoting toward the kitchen. That sounds great. I’ll help you. Jenny says, as she shakes her head behind her mom and disappointment, as Kate and Jenny disappear into the kitchen, Ted leans in lowering his voice for only Ferris and Sloan to hear. Hey. He says, offering a warm smile.

I think the trip sounds perfect. You too deserve it. He pauses his eyes flicking toward the kitchen, and you know how your mother is. She just needs a minute to adjust. Don’t let it ruin your plans. Ferris puts his arm around Sloan gently pulling her closer. There was no doubt in his mind. Sloan didn’t want his mom on their couple’s vacation and he wasn’t going to let it happen.

It wasn’t unusual for his mom to try to control new situations. In the past, he might’ve let it slide, but not this time. Sloan was different. She was his person. She was articulate, compassionate and beautiful, but not in a way that banked for attention. More like the kind of beauty that you noticed slowly.

Then couldn’t unsee. Ferris used to tell his mom everything back when he was a kid. It had felt natural, easy even. She always knew what to say. Always had a plan. But then he remembered the summer after seventh grade. He had been obsessed with skateboarding, saving up every dollar from mowing lawns to buy his first board.

He and his best friend Ben, would spend hours practicing tricks, wiping out on the pavement, laughing at their bruises until Kate decided it was dangerous. He’s a bad influence. She had told him one night, arms crossed, lips pressed into a thin line. Always pushing you to do reckless things. You’ll break an arm Ferris, and what about school?

You need to focus. He had argued, of course he had, but then came the nagging, the disappointed size, the gentle, but firm reminders of all the things she had done for him. I’m only trying to protect you, and so he quit. He told Ben he was too busy and that his mom needed his help around the house. It wasn’t true, but it was easier than fighting about it or living with guilt.

Now, years later, Ferris knew better. He saw the pattern, the way she packaged control as concern. It wasn’t just about skateboarding or friends or even his career. It was everything, every choice, every step he took, which is why he barely told her anything anymore. They enjoyed their dessert together.

Moving past the idea of them all, going to Santa Monica for Christmas. Ferris did his best to get his mom talking about her new book club with the neighbor Ladies after dessert, he and Sloane start inching their way to the door, getting on their shoes and coats so they can head home. Oh, leaving so soon.

Kate’s voice carries a hint of surprise, though it’s clear she’s more focused on keeping them there than acknowledging how difficult she could be. Sloan turns and smiles at Kate trying to keep things light. Yeah, it’s getting light. I’m hoping to call my mom on the way home since we didn’t get to see her this year for Thanksgiving.

Kate ignores Sloan’s comment and turns towards Ferris. Well, bye guys. It was so great having you guys here for Thanksgiving, as you should be for all holidays. Kate accentuates the all to make sure they remember where she stands. Ferris forces a smile before placing his hand on Sloan’s back as they turn to leave.

I’ll meet you in the car in just a sec. I forgot to grab some pie to take home. Oh yeah, sure. Bye Kate. Bye, Ted. Thanks again for having us. The food was delicious. Sloan says, wrapping her scarf around her neck as she stepped out of the house. Okay, so there’s pumpkin and apple pie left. Which did you want?

You know what, I’ll go grab you some of each. Kate says as she hurs into the kitchen. Um, I’ll have some apple, but actually I don’t really need any pie. Ferris says, checking to make sure Sloan hasn’t walked back into the house. He looks directly at his mom. Can I talk to you for a second? Sure. Of course.

Look, I’m really excited for this vacation. I’m going to start planning tonight. Kate interrupts a little too quickly. Ted easing his way back into the living room, props his legs up in the recliner. His eyes are tired and it’s clear he’s had enough for the night. He knows exactly how his wife can be, so he shuts down, retreating into his own space.

No, mom, you can’t come. Ferris says his tone firmer this time. What do you mean? Why? Oh wait. You’re breaking up with Sloan, aren’t you? I knew something was off tonight. What? No, nothing was off with us tonight. I’d really like this trip to just be Sloan and me so we can have some time alone. A long time.

Kate Scoffs. What do you need alone time for? You already live together. I hardly see you anymore. She pauses before adding. I wouldn’t want to intrude, but maybe I could just stay nearby. Dad and I will get our own hotel room. We’ll have our own time, but we can meet up for dinners and stuff. She continues rummaging through the kitchen cabinets.

Searching for a container bag big enough for the leftover pie. No, I’m sorry. I love you, but this trip is for Sloan in me. I need you to respect that Ferris states for a moment. Kate wonders if she’s being too harsh, if maybe she’s giving him a reason to pull away. But the thought is bleeding. She quickly reminds herself of everything she’s done for him over the years.

He still needs her. Well, what if something happens? I could help you plan it. It’s already planned and paid for Ferris Exhales. But look, I need to tell you why. It just needs to be the two of us. Okay? Kate stops what she’s doing and stands there wide-eyed, staring at her son. Actually, I kind of want to tell Dad too really quickly.

Hey dad, can you come in here, Ted Hurries over from the other room to join them. So really quick, I want to talk to you and mom to let you know why I want to take Sloan on vacation. Just the two of us. Oh man, I think I know where this is going. Ted says, with a big smile on his face. Ferris looks over at his mom.

Who looks like she’s just seen a ghost. I actually plan on surprising Sloan and proposing the first night we’re there, the room goes silent and Ferris looks at both of his parents for any kind of approval. Ted looks at Kate waiting for her reaction, proposing what? She responds slowly. Her voice tinged with uncertainty as she tries to piece it all together.

She knew exactly what he meant, but if he saw how confused she was, maybe he would take it as a sign that the timing wasn’t right. Come on, Kate. Ted finally jumps in. Oh my gosh, Ferris, this is so exciting. He walks up and wraps his arms around his son. Giving him a strong, reassuring pat on the back, the silent gesture filled with unspoken.

Congratulations. Kate just stands there staring at the two of them, vowing her naivety. Marriage Mom Ferris says, is he loosened his dad’s grip on him and turns. What else am I going to propose? What, but you hardly know her. Are you sure she’s the right one for you? She starts shuffling around the kitchen, cleaning up items from dinner, forgetting about the pie completely.

Ted is caught in the middle looking around like he’s praying for an out. I don’t consider two and a half years together. Hardly knowing each other. Yes, I know she’s the right one for me. Ferris’s voice is tight as he peers out the window behind him to make sure Sloan is okay in the car. His mom isn’t backing down, but you are so young.

Maybe just give it some more time. Ted can’t hold his tongue anymore. I think what your mom is trying to say is congratulations, right to Kate, he says. Looking over at her, giving her every opportunity to change her tune. Congratulations. It hasn’t even happened yet. He is just telling us his hypothetical plan.

He still has to really think about it. She smiles. I don’t think you realize how big of a decision this truly is for her. She says Condescendingly putting her hand on the counter to reach out and touches. Ferris pulls his hand back and moves away from the counter. Okay, well I can see where this conversation is going.

He takes a moment to take a breath and gather himself. Thank you Dad for the congratulations. Sloan’s waiting in the car, so I gotta get going, but um, thanks. I guess he hurries past his parents and out the door before he realizes he forgot the pie, sh*t.

by Christa Innis

“My Best Friend’s Wedding”: Insane Demands, $600 Suit, and A Secret Scandal

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

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What happens when wedding planning turns into a battleground of loyalty, identity, and deception?

In this gripping episode, the best man shares her emotional journey navigating a chaotic wedding filled with hidden truths, impossible demands, and fractured friendships. From forced tattoo cover-ups to $600 suits no one wanted, the pressure mounts in every corner. Listen as Christa breaks down the complex dynamics of love, friendship, and toxic relationships that threaten to unravel the celebration. This story reveals the heavy cost of “perfect” weddings and the price paid when people are asked to change who they are.

Join us for an unforgettable episode that goes beyond the ceremony to expose the real drama behind the scenes — and the heartbreak that follows.

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month!

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

01:38 Listener Review and Gratitude

02:40 Bridal 911: Wedding Drama Advice

06:45 This or That: Wedding Edition

11:18 Blind Reaction: The Backup Best Man

19:30 Confusion Over Wedding Roles

21:33 Tattoo and Hair Dilemma

22:28 Dress Code Chaos

23:45 Best Man Drama

26:42 Makeup Mandate

28:46 Revelations About Brianna

30:38 Wedding Day Hypocrisy

33:18 Post-Wedding Reflections

36:17 Host’s Personal Reflections

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

Tattoo Controversy – The best man is asked to cover her tattoos for photos, while bridesmaids proudly display theirs, highlighting unfair double standards.
Wardrobe Wars – Confusing and costly suit fittings with last-minute fabric changes create tension and frustration among the groomsmen.
Friendship vs. Fiancé – The groom’s conflicted loyalty between his future wife and longtime best friend creates emotional turmoil.
Makeup Mandate – Pressure to get professional makeup done causes discomfort and unnecessary expenses for the bridal party.
Secrets Revealed – A shocking discovery about the bride’s past threatens the foundation of the couple’s relationship.
Wedding Day Hypocrisy – Visible tattoos on bridesmaids but hidden on the best man expose inconsistencies in wedding expectations.
Emotional Speech – The best man’s heartfelt and surprising wedding speech leaves everyone stunned, even the groom.
Aftermath & Reflection – Four months later, the fallout continues with strained relationships and unresolved issues.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

If you ask someone to be part of your wedding, it should be because you love them — not to change who they are. – Christa Innis
Friendship breakups can be even harder than romantic breakups because of the deep emotional investment. – Christa Innis
There’s no playbook for when your best friend and your partner don’t get along — it’s a heart-wrenching balancing act. – Christa Innis
Weddings are supposed to celebrate love, not force people into uncomfortable roles or appearances. – Christa Innis
Sometimes people marry just to check a box — but marriage should be about connection, not convenience. – Christa Innis

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

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Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of Here Comes The Drama. I am just thrilled and excited to be here. I feel very grateful to be able to hang out with you guys on this platform. Um, as of recording this, which. Today is June 11th when I record. So I typically record a month out depending if I’m having a guest or not.

Um, this is a special solo episode, so you’re just gonna hang out with me today. Hope that’s okay with you guys. Um, but as of recording today. We have over a hundred thousand downloads. It just blows my mind. My goal for the whole year was 25,000. So just thank you so much for the support. Whether you’ve subscribed, downloaded, shared with a friend, um, are constantly active, ready to listen to every single episode, listen, every once in a while, it’s just, it just means so much to me and I’m just so grateful for the love and support.

So I wanna just start off by reading a review of the podcast, um, because, you know, they just mean a lot to me and I just wanna say thank you to this person. They say, I’ve been watching Krista’s Instagram videos for over a year now. The transition to including a podcast is the most natural progression possible.

I always want more info when I see the skits, and this podcast definitely helps scratch that itch. I can’t wait to see it grow into its own. Thank you so much Bailey, for leaving that kind review. And always if you guys love the podcast, please share it with a friend or leave a review. It really helps more people see it and hear about it.

So I just really thank you for that. Alright. I feel like I’ve been talking a ton today. As recording this, tomorrow is the launch of the book. So I feel like I’ve been doing a lot of promo stuff, um, and doing some different recordings. Of course skits, it never stops, but I love it. I love what I do and I feel so grateful to be able to do this this week.

Since it’s solo. I wanna do things a little bit different. So we’re gonna start with a bridal 9 1 1 advice column. Every once in a while people send me questions of things that are either going on in their family, uh. In regards to weddings and events, right? So I’m not a therapist, I’m not a life coach. I don’t have training in this.

This is literally just me responding as someone that reads a lot of stories and sees a lot of boundaries. So take it for what it’s worth and I’m gonna leave it with that.

When Family Drama Threatens Your Wedding

Okay? So this person here, I’m gonna leave him anonymous, sent me a question. She says, my wedding is in December of this year. I have a bunch of other dramas that have been going on, but this is the one that worries me the most.

To start off, we didn’t have money in the budget for alcohol, nor did we want it. I found out from my maid of honor, my fiance’s sister that the stepsiblings pre-game before the ceremony and every family wedding, whether it’s dry or not, I was warned about this because at every other wedding drama would ensue.

So we are talking fights would break out at one of the weddings, uh, that my fiance and I couldn’t attend to. And I’m honestly super afraid this might happen to me and I honestly don’t know what to do. Do you have any advice? So again, I’m no expert, I’m just taking it as what I would do in this situation, and this is gonna be really hard and might not be the advice you wanna hear, but there’s really.

Nothing you can do. I don’t think this is your fight to fight. We don’t know for sure if they’re going to do it. It might, it sounds like it might be pretty likely. Um, you might wanna have people there that are like ready to like. Break up a fight, um, or escort them out. However, bringing up something that might happen or stressing out something that might happen is just gonna consume you when you have so many other things to maybe worry about.

Um, it’s hard because alcohol gets the best of a lot of people. I’ve seen it firsthand at a lot of events, weddings, with family, friends, what have you. It can get the best of people and if not. Controlled. We all know what can happen, right? So essentially too, it sounds like it’s more of your husband’s family, and so I don’t think you need to personally do anything for it.

I would not stress over it. I personally think that you should talk to him about it and see what has maybe happened in the past or if there’s a way to approach it. And I know that seems kind of all over the place. I just feel like there’s a lot missing. There’s a lot that we don’t know, and I think a lot of it is more on worry.

And as the bride, I think a lot of times we, we think about a lot of situations or scenarios that could happen and that tends to consume us. Believe me, I’m an overthinker. My husband will tell you I’m an overthinker to the max. I’m constantly like, but what about this? What about this? I remember our wedding, I was worried about like the parking situation.

There was no reason to be worried about it. There was a parking garage that was like one block over, but I was just like, oh, what if this happens? And then I was like, what if they don’t know to get a hotel room? And I was like texting people, like helping them out. I’m like, people are adults. You gotta let them handle it.

Now if it’s happened before at a wedding, I understand your concern and I understand wanting to do something ahead of time, but again, we can’t control every situation. Maybe have a backup plan ready, talk with your husband or your partner, be on the same page with them, um, of like, okay, if we see some inappropriate behavior, this is what’s gonna happen.

Um, so having a plan I think is good, but I would not let it consume you. Because at the end of the day, if they have a drink in their car before and then they’re fine, there’s nothing you can really do about it. Right? So that is my advice for that and I wish you the very best for your wedding.

On First Looks, Taco Bars & Cake Smashes

Okay, next up to mix things up, I wanna do a little this or that.

I’ve been starting to incorporate a little more rapid fire with people, but I thought it’d be kind of weird if I had to rapid fire with myself. ’cause I’m like, I already kind of see the answers as I’m reading it. Um. This is similar, but this is gonna be a wedding edition, this or that. And, uh, I did a little fun one, so I haven’t read it yet.

So here we go. And this is just my, my own opinion. Okay. Buffet or plate of dinner. Okay. I feel like I should answer these quickly, but I’m gonna give a little background. I always thought growing up like I would have a plate of dinner, but when we got married we had a Taco bar, taco bar, and it was amazing.

Like we. We knew right off the bat, like when we found the venue and they gave us the suggested vendors to work with, I was like, let’s try this taco place, this Mexican food place. And it was incredible. Um, I like that you can kind of grab what you want, you know? I don’t know. Some plant dinners are great, some are not.

Some buffets are great, some are not. That’s my preference. Live band or dj. If I have to pick one, I’m gonna go dj ’cause I feel like you have more variety and you can, um, hear all your favorite songs. I’ve also heard some really amazing bands, big guest lists or intimate ceremony. If I were to get married today, intimate ceremony.

Intimate ceremony. First look or aisle reveal. I’m aisle reveal all the way. I love a good aisle reveal, uh, all white theme or full color explosion. Mm. If it’s done the right way, I think you can do full color. Me. I don’t trust myself enough. I’m not like a designer. I’m not an, I don’t have that eye. I wish I did if someone else was doing it for me.

Let’s go full color. I think that’d be okay, but me, I’ll go all white kids Welcome. Or adults only.

That’s a hard one,

I think. Okay. If we’re going with intimate ceremony, meaning I would only invite people that I’m really close with, I would say kids welcome because. People that I’m close with, I would be close with their kids and know their kids, and I would love all the kids to interact. If it’s a bigger party, I would probably say adults only.

If there’s like alcohol and it’s like cocktails and stuff. Yeah. Champagne tower or signature cocktails. Signature cocktails. I’m not a big champagne person. Matching bridesmaid dresses or mix and match. Mix and match. If I got married today, I would do make, pick whatever you want. Uh, flower petals or confetti sendoff, flower petals.

Weekday wedding or peak season? Saturday. Ah, weekday. I got married on a Friday. Fun fact, if you get married on a Friday or Sunday, you get a discount. Typically, uh, traditional vows are write your own, write your own DIY decor or hire a planner. So that’s kind of a weird one because those are kind of two different things.

I mean, a planner does help with decor. A planner is way more than decor. So my choice is either DIY or a planner. I’m going planner, but I have been hands-on designing decor for a lot of weddings before. Um, and you know what? It’s always a good time. Okay. Photo booth or 360 cam. So it’s so fun to go to a wedding that has a photo booth, but for me personally, I just did not see the benefit of it.

I just set up our own thing with Polaroid cameras. I think the 360 cam is pretty cool. I’ve never done one, but I honestly would be afraid I would get hit by it. Cake smash or classy? Kcu. Classy. I don’t, I’m, it’s not my first birthday. I don’t. I don’t need a cake smash. Okay, let’s get into this week’s blind reaction.

It’s a long one, that’s why I just wanted to kind of do some fun rapid fires.

When Weddings Cost More Than Money

Some 9 1 1. Let’s get, let’s get through to it. Okay. This is called the backup Best, man. Here we go. Let me drink some water first, guys, because my, like I said, I’ve been talking too much. I might need to go like on a week long thing where I just don’t.

My voice, that’s a joke. Even when I lost my voice, my husband kept laughing at me. ’cause I was like, I’m gonna not talk for the rest of the day. And like a minute later I’d be like, yeah, so blah, blah, blah. He’s like, aren’t you gonna rest your voice? Okay, anywho, here we go. My best friend Jake, all names have been changed.

My best friend Jake, 36 male, and I, Kara 35 female, have known each other since elementary school, though we didn’t become close enough. Close until junior year of high school by our early twenties, we were inseparable. We were together so often that we started calling each other siblings just to dodge the assumptions and constant accusations that we were Roman, that we were romantic.

That’s, that sucks. That’s always a thing. If you are friends with someone of the opposite sex, people assume you are dating or there’s some kind of romantic thing. I don’t know. That’s just the way people think. I guess girls would befriend me just to get closer to him, and I had, I had to let some of them down because Jake would ghost them or string them along endlessly.

I, on the other hand, was more of a social butterfly and rarely dated the same guy for more than a week. Eventually I ended up in a toxic long-term relationship and Jake and I drifted a bit. He moved away for work, but he’d still come home for the holidays and my family was always a part of his rotation for Thanksgiving and Christmas and we vacation together every year.

Wow. You guys are kind of like family, like if you go into family parties, but, and I hate that, I think this way, but I also wonder like. Did they ever try to date or like was it instant? Like, we don’t like each other that way because you’re spending a lot of time with this person. I’m wondering like, you seem pretty compatible, but I get it.

I get it. Sometimes you just meet someone and you’re like, they brother, sister vibes. Um, then I met my now husband, Daniel got pregnant and surprised everyone at the baby shower by getting married. Jake, despite not knowing, paid for the open bar. He also the godfather to both of my daughters. He adores them.

He wears dresses when they ask, always brings gifts, goes trick or treating with us and spends the day after Christmas with us because it’s my oldest daughter’s birthday. Wow. That jumped really quickly. Okay, so she’s married, has two girls. Jake is very involved in their life. He’s like an uncle to ’em, it sounds like.

Very involved, awesome relationship. Great. Then COVID happened. Here we go. How a lot of the stories go right? Right before the pandemic, Jake started seeing someone, let’s call her Brianna. They quarantined together. He casually mentioned wanting to introduce us, so we met up at a local petting zoo. It was awkward, Jake fo.

Jake focused entirely on my youngest daughter, and barely helped bridge the gap between me and Brianna. I tried small talk. She wasn’t interested. I gave up. I was pregnant, hot and miserable. I left feeling disappointed. When I told my husband and family, they tried to reassure me, but Daniel pulled me aside and said, Brianna’s name sounded familiar.

Then it hit me. Okay, so Daniel, in case you guys forgot, Daniel is her husband, the girl that wrote in, right? Daniel’s her husband. He’s saying the girlfriend, um, of her friend sounds, her name sounds familiar. So then it hit me years ago, she hooked up with Jake’s friend Matt. Ooh. Okay. We’re get, we’re getting some tea here on the front porch at his Halloween party while Matt was in a long-term relationship.

Okay, here we go. Here comes the drama. Right? It caused drama. Jake had even said things about her at the time. Yeah. That’s not a good first impression. Right? And then you’re like, oh, I’m gonna date this girl, even though she. Cheated with my, I guess, I don’t know if she was tied with anyone, but like his friend cheated with her.

Not really a good look still. I gave her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she felt awkward or ashamed. Maybe she needed to warm up to me. Shortly after Brianna came to my parents’ house for Jake’s birthday dinner. I love that. Her family does birthday dinners for Jake still. That’s so sweet. He told us she had been teaching English in Japan.

We were excited to hear about it, but every time we asked she just changed the subject. Interesting. I pivoted the conversation and gave Jake his gift, a working vintage eight millimeter movie projector. We set it up and watched a short film, but Brianna said she was tired and left early. Okay, and this is before we read an end of the story.

I know things like are weird and stuff. I also feel like it can be weird if you start dating someone and let’s ignore the whole like thing they learned about Brianna. Right. It can be weird if like you start dating someone and he’s like, yeah, like I want you to meet this girl. She’s my best friend for years.

I have birthday dinners at, there’s family at her family’s house. We’re inseparable. Like we, I tell her every single thing like. It can cause a little bit, if you’re already a little insecure or you’re kind of a new in their relationship, that can be like a little like, Ooh, okay, how close are you guys? You know, it’s just it, and it’s the thing that we’ve seen, like in tv it’s like, can, can a guy and girl be best friends?

Right. Of course they can. And I, I am a big believer in it. I have very close guy, best friends. Um, but as a new relationship, you might be like, I don’t know. Um, okay. Jake still came to Halloween and Thanksgiving, but Brianna didn’t. He made excuses for Christmas. He said they’d be visiting her family two hours away, but he promised to come back for my daughter’s birthday the next day.

He didn’t show, he didn’t call. My whole family was worried and I was heartbroken. My mom called him. I’m also wondering, I mean, I think it’s so sweet that he comes to their family at Christmas time. I’m wondering if there’s something like we’re missing too. Like if, um, maybe he didn’t, he wasn’t close to his family growing up, so they became a second family.

And if that’s the case, then Brianna, I feel like shouldn’t really be supporting him in this ’cause he’s like, this is this. Is my family, like, not by blood, but like by choice. I’ve, they’ve been there for me. I’ve been there for them. Um, so the fact that he just didn’t show up when he was gonna go to Christmas is kind of weird.

My mom called him, he apologized saying her family sprung brunch plans on him, and it was the first time meeting them. Another year passed. Brianna remained distant. Jake became inconsistent. Then Jake got engaged. He asked if I’d be comfortable being a groomsman. I said yes and asked if he wanted me to grow my hair out for the wedding.

Wait.

Okay.

I need to go back for a second because

I’m so confused. So full disclosure, I throw this in and we like change names, right? So because it said Kara, I assumed it was a woman, and now I’m not so sure I have to go back and look. I always just throw it into something. Change names. Um.

I was right.

Okay, let’s continue. I just got really confused for a second. Okay.

I think it’s because he asked if he would be a groomsman.

Uh, he asked if she would be a groomsman. Okay. I said yes and asked if he wanted me to grow my hair out for the wedding since my head is fully tattooed and usually shaved. He said, absolutely not. Be yourself. I booked a touch up. I booked a Touchup tattoo appointment for one month before the wedding. For fun, I let my hair grow a bit and bleach it neon green.

I also asked if I should wear a suit or a dress. He said he was fine. He said either was fine as long as it matched the others. Okay, so this is getting interesting. So I’m, I’m. I’m guessing a few different things now, and I feel like Brianna. Okay, I wanna read this. I sent him black dress options. He liked a velvet one.

They were considering velvet suits. Brianna liked the idea too. I bought the dress, then they switched fabrics. Brianna insisted everything looked uniform. Velvet was out. Jake eventually told us, di Jake eventually told us to direct all questions to the best man, Matt? Yep. Porch Halloween, Matt. Oh my gosh.

So the guy who cheated on his girlfriend with Brianna is now in the wedding with them. Okay. I asked Matt about dress options. He said to wear what made me feel best. With no clear in, with no clear direction. I ordered a $600 suit I’d likely never wear again. Ooh, okay. I don’t know if I have no direction.

I don’t know why I would order a $600 suit. I’m not shaming this person though, but that ’cause that’s on, that’s their choice and something told them that they should do that, but Oh, wow. Okay. Then I got a message from Jake. Are you planning to have hair for the wedding? Because Brianna and the planner thought my tattoos would be distracting in photos.

I told him no. I had then. I had asked him then about it when. Lemme do that again. I told him no, I had asked about it. When I accepted, I canceled my tattoo appointment. I apologized to my artist and scheduled a salon visit to cover the neon. Okay. So now they’re going back and saying, um, you need to change all this.

Which it sounds to me like Jake doesn’t really care. It’s Brianna that’s coming in and cares. I don’t get, the whole tattoos are distracting thing, but. I’m also married to someone that has a full sleeve. I love tattoos. I love the look of them. We had, gosh, I would say probably all the guys in our wedding have tattoos and some, I would say majority of the guys in our wedding had tattoos.

Have tattoos, and I would never ask any of them to cover it up because I think it adds to Indi individuality. Um, some of the girls have tattoos too, again, would never ask anyone to c cover them. If you ask someone, you are asking them because you like them, love them, want them to be a part of your wedding.

Um, I don’t know. That’s just something I would never personally do. Ask someone to change who they are to be in my wedding. Um, okay.

We were told to book suit fittings. Matt was unresponsive in the group chat. So we all went rogue you. That’s when you really need an organized person to tell you what to do and when to do it. A few of us ordered the wrong suit details. One friend had to reorder an entire jacket, $300 because of event.

Okay? I don’t know enough about suits, but I don’t know what event is, but $300. See, that’s my thing too, is if they’re not clear with direction and what people need to do, they can’t keep going back and changing things and having people spend more money. You need to have clear communication saying like, this is what you need to do.

If I don’t hear something from a brighter groom, I’m not ordering anything. Sorry. You need to be clear with them. Jake Drunkenly called me one night. He was demoting Matt as best man, and asked me to step in, said he’d always wanted me to do it. But didn’t want to burden me because I’m a mom also, Brianna didn’t think it was appropriate.

Oh gosh, this, ugh, I feel so bad for them. I accepted, I cried. It felt tainted.

But this is so. It’s so weird because it’s like this is his best friend and he wants her to be the best man. Right? But Brianna doesn’t think it’s appropriate. So what do you do in that situ, in that situation? Do you listen to your future wife or do you include your best friend? I’ve never been in a situation where my best friend and my husband don’t get along.

I’ve seen it before. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know what I would do in that situation because you’re always gonna have to deal with that. So you have to, you have to decide. Is it more important for you to be with this person and limit your time or cut off contact with your best friend, or vice versa?

I don’t know. No one can answer it for you. I offered to split the jacket cost with Matt. He refused. Weeks later, Jake texted to me again, are you wearing makeup? I said, no, I don’t wear it and I’m not comfortable wearing wearing it. He said, cool. An hour later, Brianna texted me I needed to get my makeup done Professionally, it will photograph better.

No, I don’t agree with that either. You do not tell people in your wedding they have to get their makeup done. I just, I don’t understand that if you love them the way they are and they are your friend, you should not be telling them to change anything about themselves for the wedding. Maybe that’s, is that a hot take?

Is that a hot take? I don’t know. I told my bridesmaid like, we’re gonna have hair and makeup there if you want it, or if you’re gonna do it yourself. Don’t wear any makeup that’s, that’s on you. Like your choice a hundred percent. I want you to feel comfortable. I want you to feel beautiful. The way you do it, her artist was booked but she could help me find someone.

I reluctantly agreed, ah, I feel so bad for her. This is so awkward. Am I her appointment, the stylist, a mutual friend, spilled everything. Brianna wasn’t an English teacher in Japan. She was an escort. She never even told Jake. Her rich stepdad pays for everything. He even bought them a house. Yet Jake is making payments on it.

What? So she’s completely deceiving him of everything. I mean, what? And no one in Jake’s circle likes Brianna. She blames Jake for not affording a two month European honeymoon. Okay? I don’t think a lot of people can afford a two month European honeymoon. What? That’s not typical. He’s now working DoorDash on top of his job, so he is trying to make extra, extra money because it’s not enough for her.

That’s another, maybe it’s another hot take, but.

You chose to marry this person knowing what they make or what they can’t afford? Yes, you can strive for more and try to make more as a couple together, but to guilt him and make him feel bad for not ma, I don’t know. I just, I don’t like that. I don’t like that. I had a breakdown full on hysterics. I planned to confront him at the bachelor weekend, but it was awkward.

Matt didn’t even come. I tried to open a conversation. Jake brushed it off and said his relationship was his retirement plan. I dropped it, his retirement plan. So I wonder if it’s one of those things where he’s just like checking the box. He’s like, you know what? I’m however old I am. It’s time to get married.

Let’s just do it. It’s my retirement plan. Oh my gosh. Three days before the wedding. Hey, you’re giving a speech. Good thing I had started one just in case the makeup artist was awful. Dry. Cakey, not blended. I wiped most of it off. No one commented it was $200. What a waste. So not on, on top of them making her get her makeup done, they make her pay $200.

That’s more than I even paid for my bridal makeup. I think my bridal makeup was one 20. My bridesmaids was 85. $200 as a, as a best man. No, no, no, no, no, no. I don’t like that. Brianna greeted to us when she, Brianna greet to us when we arrived with Suits. Thanked me for stepping up. Criticized Matt said she chose him to bring the style to the groomsmen.

He might’ve sabotaged things out of jealousy. He and Brianna apparently have a history well. We learned that, okay, here’s the wedding day. Jake was silent, only smiled for the camera. Bridesmaids wore bold, micro chromatic dresses, all different cuts, all had visible tattoos. Excuse me. So the bridesmaids can have visible tattoos, but you the best man cannot.

Yours are distracting. Come on. We need to level, we need an even playing field here. It’s because, I don’t know. I feel like she’s some jealousy over the op here. The maid of honor had giant angel wings and a light bulb tattoo down her spine. My tattoos had to be covered. The hypocrisy, stung. Their vows lies claimed they loved each other since high school and had reconnected.

Years later, none of that happened. It was surreal. My family asked, what’s going on? Why were you put through so much when the bridesmaids clearly weren’t? I had no answers. I told them to just get through it. The maid of honor gave a two page speech full of jabs, not jokes, jabs. It was brutal. So apparently even the bride’s friends are not fans of the bride.

Interesting. Then it was my turn. I recited my speech from memory nailed it. Pretended to cry at the end. Everyone was shocked. Even Jake was slack jawed. I never heard that term before. I hugged him. Second. Congrats. And we left. It’s been four months. I haven’t seen him since they honeymoon in Jamaica. She still doesn’t work.

She, he’s still doing DoorDash and my head hurts. Oh, that story makes me so sad. It like, it, I feel like it’s like one of those like books or stories you read where it’s like they keep missing each other at certain points. And I’m not saying romantically, but I’m just like they’re meant to be, and I say, I say the word.

Or the term soulmate very loosely. I don’t mean soulmate romantically, like you’ve, I believe you have soulmates that are like best friends or even pets I think can be soulmates. But I feel like their soulmates in a way that they were, their souls are supposed to meet, like they obviously are very like aligned.

They have good friendship, they, their family’s blended well to how their, and I think that’s what it was supposed to be, right? But it’s so hard when. They start dating someone that just doesn’t fit into the mix. And it’s hard in that moment too, because it’s like you’re supposed to choose your future, your partner.

Right? But it sounds like they’re not even happy, and it sounds like she’s very controlling and she’s making him try to make all this extra money while she’s not doing her part, and she critiques him. And, and so that’s what’s really sad is because now she’s probably seeing the, the friend, the best man is seeing.

It all fall apart. She’s seeing her relationship with him fall apart and she’s seeing that he just kind of checked the box of like, let’s get married. It’s time to get married. Um, and that’s what’s so sad with a lot of these stories is they wanna check the box of like, okay, we got married, we’re, we’re 30, now let’s get married.

Okay, let’s have a baby. And you would hope a couple this like unhappy, I don’t know. Can realize it before it’s too late and don’t bring children into the relationship. I don’t know, it’s, it’s hard because I’m only getting so much and, and it’s, uh, it can be kind of confusing from this angle because we’re only getting one person’s perspective, but she knows him well and she knows his reactions and she knows him enough to kind of realize he’s not, he’s not happy, he’s not reconnecting well, or he is not doing well, I should say.

But yeah. Oh, I hate that. I feel like I want an update. Like, it’s okay. It’s been, it’s been four months, I should see when this story was sent, but it’s been at least four months. We need to update when they talk.

When a Friendship Feels Like Family—and Then Falls Apart

Um, maybe they’ll realize it, maybe he’ll realize after, you know, all of the, the glamor of the wedding is over and realize, you know what, this was dumb.

I wanna go back to my roots and find someone that truly loves me and. Accepts my friends and family. Right. Because it feels like, I feel like they were more of like family, like she said, like they’re like brother and sister vibes. Right. All right guys. Well that was the story for, for this week. Um, I’m so sorry to this person that sent that sounds like you’re really mourning of friendship and that’s, that’s hard.

I feel like friendship breakups, I don’t know if it’s officially a friendship breakup, but it sounds pretty, pretty wonky, roly. I always say that friendship breakups are harder than romantic breakups. And I think it’s because like you pour, not saying you don’t do this with, with romantic relationships, but with friendships it’s like you pour so much into it and they learn you like your, they’re your ins and outs.

Right. Um, I think one of my hardest friendship breakups, um, I don’t wanna give too much detail or anything, but like, uh, it was a few years back. I mean, we’re probably going on. Gosh, I don’t even know how old I was. I dunno. Probably like 10 years ago. I don’t know. It was after college, but it was, it was distraught.

Like it was, it was so sad because this is someone that you do everything with you, you tell them like, you know, you’re like your thoughts and your wishes and your dreams and like. I don’t know. It’s just so different than a romantic relationship. I feel like when you’re breaking up with someone or someone breaks up with you, yes, it’s sad, but you move on depending on, you know, how long you’re with that person.

I know I’m just blabbing now, but I don’t know, I just really feel for this person because it’s hard to go through that. But, um, hopefully he realizes and you guys can be friends again. Anyways, thank you guys for hanging out with me in this special solo episode. If you guys haven’t noticed yet, I’m kind of doing a pattern of the second, um, episode.

Every single month is a solo pod just to kind of like, hang out with you guys, like one-on-one. Um, share a little bit more, um, behind the scenes and stuff, um, in case you guys missed it. You can now order my book. Here comes the drama of Ferris and Sloan story. Um, and don’t forget to tag me on social media at party planning by Krista for a chance to be featured on my page.

And then I’m also giving away random prizes, whether that’s a signed copy or Amazon gift cards and so much more. So I’ll be able to, so make sure to check out my social media pages to see what’s kind of going on, um, this week. Um, and of course if you ordered it on Amazon or other platforms, of course allow it as well.

But please leave a review when you read the book because that just helps more people see it and hear about it. And I just wanna, I just wanna see what you guys think. It’s like, it’s so scary writing something and putting it out into the world because it’s like, oh my gosh, what are they gonna think? Do you guys like it?

Oh my gosh. But again, I also have to also have to remind myself that it’s my first book. I’m a beginner. Uh, I mean, I went to school for writing, but it’s been a long time. Um, so even if, you know, just the fact that I got it out there, I feel like is, is a prize in itself and I’m very, very excited for that.

But I really like to throw it back to you guys and just say thank you for the support and the excitement for it. That’s all I got you guys. Thank you so much for hanging out with me and I will see you next time. Bye now.

by Christa Innis

Money Fights, Fake Promises, and a Forgetful DJ with Cassie Horrell

What do you do when your DJ forgets the first dance and narrates the cake cutting like it’s a football game?

Christa and Cassie are back with some jaw-dropping stories from the wedding trenches! This episode dives into vendor red flags, social media pressure, and one mother-in-law so toxic, the entire wedding had a shocking surprise! From aisle music glitches to guest list drama, it’s a cautionary tale and a comedy of errors.

Plus: how to stand firm when everyone has an opinion, why comparison will kill your joy, and what to do when your wedding no longer feels like your own.

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month!

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

01:13 Cassie’s Wedding Workload + Book Update

03:40 DJ Disaster Story #1: The Forgotten First Dance

07:01 Cringe Cake Cutting Narration

08:37 DJ Regret and Trust Issues

10:04 Ghost Music and the Silent Aisle Walk

12:04 Wedding Hot Takes: Cash vs. Gifts

14:37 Guest List Pressure from Parents

16:47 Story Submission: MIL Manipulation and Wedding Fallout

25:59 The Fallout: Family, Boundaries, and Breakdowns

30:05 The Driving Analogy: Staying True to Your Vision

34:14 Comparison Culture and Social Media Pressure

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

The DJ Debacle – Cassie shares an awkward, cringey moment where a DJ forgot the first dance… then asked the couple for the song in front of their guests.
Narrating the Cake Cutting?! – When a DJ goes full sportscaster, it’s not the vibe—Christa and Cassie relive a moment that made the whole room cringe.
MIL Drama That Killed the Wedding – A real listener story: secret recordings, family feuds, and a mom who refused to take responsibility.
Ghosted by the Music – Another wedding, another music fail—this time with a mysteriously silent aisle walk that left the bride shaken.
Hot Takes on Money Gifts – Cassie dishes on how to tastefully ask for cash… and when it crosses the line into tacky.
Guest List Politics – From never-met relatives to social media expectations, they unpack why couples feel pressure to include people they barely know.
The Comparison Trap – Pinterest weddings vs. reality: why chasing a $300K wedding aesthetic will only break your spirit—and budget.
Elopement vs. Expectations – When family opinions derail your plans, Christa and Cassie talk about how to take the wheel back.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“We call them ghosts—because sometimes music just stops.” – Cassie Horrell
“The DJ had the timeline in front of him and still forgot everything.” – Cassie Horrell
“He narrated the cake cutting like it was a sports event—I wanted to disappear.” – Cassie Horrell
“Some people can’t silently support—they need to insert themselves.” – Cassie Horrell
“Weddings don’t break families. They reveal the cracks that were already there.” – Cassie Horrell
“If you’re more excited to post your wedding than live it—that’s the red flag.” – Christa Innis
“She expected everyone to forget what she did—like it never happened.” – Christa Innis
“You have to kick people out of the car and drive your own wedding.” – Christa Innis
“This wasn’t about a honeymoon. It was about control.” – Christa Innis
“Comparison culture is the silent killer of joyful weddings.” – Christa Innis

About Cassie

Cassie Horrell is a seasoned wedding planner and event coordinator known for her ability to handle even the most unpredictable wedding day chaos with humor and grace. With years of experience in the industry, Cassie has seen it all—from heartwarming moments to jaw-dropping disasters—and she’s not afraid to spill the tea. She’s passionate about helping couples navigate the stress of wedding planning, set boundaries with overbearing family members, and create a day that feels authentically theirs. Whether it’s dodging last-minute guest list surprises or dealing with wedding etiquette debates, Cassie brings expertise, real talk, and a whole lot of laughs.

Follow Cassie Horrell

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi, Cassie. Welcome back to the show.

Cassie Horrell: Thank you for having me. I’m so excited.

Christa Innis: I felt like such an announcer when I said that. Welcome back to the show. I was just saying before I started recording, so many people, like all the time in the comments are like, we need a Cassie and Christa collab. Like they just loved seeing you on the episode.

And so it’s always fun to connect and I feel like we had a great time hanging out last time.

Cassie Horrell: Yes, we did. And I feel like we have similar audiences, so people are like rooting for us to do a collab and I’m like,

Christa Innis: here we are. Yes, here it is. I know. So I was like, you know what? We gotta have you come back on and like talk some more wedding stuff.

’cause your story last time, still, it was funny, it was one of those where like I always like listen them back through, obviously before they go out and I was still like, cracking up. and I had my husband listen and he was like, dying at the story. He’s like, that’s not where I thought the story was gonna go.

Cassie Horrell: No, it was a, heartwarming but unexpected grandma.

Christa Innis: Yes. Oh my gosh. I love it. yeah, for anyone that has not listened to the other episode with Cassie, please go back and listen to that one. That was episode 10. it’s a good one for sure. So before we get into it, can you just reintroduce yourself or anyone that didn’t hear the last episode or just.

Doesn’t know about you yet. Yeah,

Cassie Horrell: my name’s Cassie. Most of the internet knows me as Wedding Pro casts. I’ve been in the industry for about 12 years now. doing all things wedding. I’ve worked in probably every capacity of a wedding from venue side to planning to luxury catering, so I got to see a lot behind the scenes and helped couples plan an all.

Different cultures and budget levels, which is amazing. currently I’m the director of events at the History Center in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I own a mobile bar, clink 92, that serves weddings in Ohio and Pennsylvania. And then I also do personal planning, where I have clients all over the world.

Planning their weddings and then I assist them virtually as well with, virtual support, one-on-one consultation. So I live, eat, breathe weddings.

Christa Innis: Yeah, you are busy. I’m like tired. Just hearing all of that. Gosh. So, and last time we talked too, you were writing some children’s books too, like what’s the update on that?

Yes. So they have

Cassie Horrell: been written, they have been illustrated and I’m just figuring out how I want to launch them. I mean, you’re in a book launch as well, so the process is fun and you have to navigate like the ups and downs. To me, I just wanna make sure when I bring it forward and I launch it, that it’s exactly what I want, so.

I’ve asked my nieces to illustrate some of the books, so kind of getting those parts in with the other illustrator I work with. It will all come together and I’m hoping June is when these will be out and ready to go. but I’ll definitely share more once I know.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh, awesome. I was just telling my husband about that too.

’cause I was like, that is such a cool, book idea too. ’cause I feel like when we were asking our nieces and nephews to be in the wedding, like there were some stuff out there, but I love the idea of a book and that’s such a cute way, especially encouraging them to read and like, I feel like there’s just, it’s a good memento too.

Cassie Horrell: Yes, and I think it’s the mom in me I have a three-year-old, so he’s always reading books and to me, I’m like, I definitely wanna write a children’s book. It’s always been on my bucket list, so why not combine something I’m passionate with? I.

the children’s book, and it’s special because one of my nieces that’s drawing for the book was my flower girl.

Christa Innis: Oh. So

Cassie Horrell: I’m like, it kind of is like a full circle moment since it’s about asking your flower girl ring barrier, your little people to be in your wedding.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I love that. Oh my gosh. She’s gonna like remember that forever that she was an artist in a book. Like how cool is that? Yeah, I love that. Let’s get into the beginning of crazy stories and hot takes. I know you, we talked about, you shared a really heartwarming and surprising story last time. So what story do you have for us today?

Cassie Horrell: I’m going to share a story. I. About one of the most cringe worthy moments I’ve seen at a wedding and it deals with a dj.

Christa Innis: Oh God.

Cassie Horrell: So it’s kind of a long-winded story, but I’ll try to get through it quickly.

Christa Innis: I’m gonna dive right in. So this was probably, I don’t know, three or four years into my career. I’ve always been like an over communicator when it comes to working with vendors, especially when you work on the venue side.

Cassie Horrell: So before the wedding day, I had reached out to this DJ one month out and then seven days out, and the DJ was so communicative, like a surprise. Sometimes vendors are so busy they don’t get back to you, but this vendor was great. No red flags. He’s responding to my emails, he’s asking great questions. So the day of the wedding comes, shows up on time Green flags all over. I’m like, this day’s gonna be great. This dj, I’d never worked with him before. However. He’s been great so far, so I had no worries at all. once he was settled, I go over and I always like to go through one more time the timeline, because sometimes couples and their last week make a slight change that they may not have relayed to me like, oh, we’re actually gonna do the motherson dance before the father-daughter dance, and mm-hmm.

And so they may have told their DJ that, but maybe they didn’t tell me that. So. I go over to the DJ and I’m like, Hey, Mr. Dj, this is my timeline. I just wanna make sure that yours looks exactly the same and there hasn’t been any changes. He’s like, 100% we’re on the same page. I’m like, this is great.

I then go over all the key songs. So I’m going over the Processional music, the Recessional songs, and then their key songs for like first dance, mother, son, father, daughter, and we have everything to say. it’s matching up. He has it on his computer, we’re good to go. Ceremony happens, great.

Cocktail hour happens. Fabulous. And then it’s time for the reception. And my couple had chose to have the wedding party come out as a group and then they were gonna be announced and then move right into their first dance. Mm-hmm. So that transition, you know, not that it’s super quick, but it happens and then moves right into the first dance.

DJ checks in with them. We start the introduction process. Wedding party comes out, they get announced, and they move onto the dance floor for their first dance. So everybody’s like up cheering, looking at them, and they’re walking to the middle of the floor, like ready to transition, and the music fades out and then nothing goes on.

It’s just like dead silent. Oh no. And I’m like across the room. So if the DJ booth is directly across from me and the dance floor is in the center, so I’m like looking at the DJ and I’m like, Hey, or stance, wording it to him and he’s looking at me just staring at me like with his hands. I’m like, what?

And I was like, then first dance. first dance. We’re doing the first dance. and he sees me, so I didn’t wanna cut across straight across the dance floor. So I start like walking around the tables on the backside and I. He goes the opposite direction. Like so now? Yes. Yes. And it’s like now been like 20 seconds, 30 seconds of awkward silence and like people are laughing and the couple’s just kind of standing there instead of me just going over and being like, Hey, we’re doing the first dance.

Like we went over the order. You had this song.

“We’re Doing the First Dance… Right?”

Christa Innis: He walks out onto the dance floor directly to the couple, this is in front of all of their guests. And he goes, it’s first dance. Right? And they both were like, yeah. And then he’s like. What’s the song? And they say the song. I don’t remember what it was, but it was like a Michael Buble song.

Yeah.

Cassie Horrell: And then like goes back nonchalant like nothing happened and goes, okay, everybody we’re gonna move into the first dance and then puts the song on. And I was like that. I wanted to crawl under a rock and die. I’m like, you prepare, you prompt them, you make sure everything’s good. And then for the DJ then to like.

I don’t know what happened. He had like a blip in his brain and just, yeah, forgot what he was doing, but it was so cringe-worthy. And then later in the day when they’re doing the cake cutting, he did one of my least favorite things in the whole entire world when a DJ is like super talkative.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

On the

Cassie Horrell: microphone. And he started narrating the cake cutting. He was like, okay, everybody, they have the cake cutting set. Alright, they’re slicing the cake, now they’re pulling the cake out. Are they gonna slam the cake in each other’s faces? And like everyone was just like, this is terrible. so yeah, it was two cringeworthy moments from the same dj.

Immediately after that wedding, I put him on like the do not book list and I did send him an email being like, Hey, do you wanna talk about what happened? and he literally was just like, yeah, I just like forgot the timeline I don’t know. It was just so cringe-worthy and like, have it, I felt bad for the couple.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Didn’t he have it like right in front of him?

Cassie Horrell: He had it, I saw it on his piece of paper. He had a copy of my paper. We went over it and he still didn’t do it. And I’m like, I felt bad for the couple, just like they were kind of robbed of that. Blissful moment when you like walk in and everybody’s cheering and then you go right into your first dance.

It was interrupted by him shuffling out on the dance floor, asking them, I don’t know. It was so strange. I never worked with that DJ again.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And weird,

Cassie Horrell: you’re outta 10, you

Christa Innis: when you’re trying to like walk over by him, you’re trying to make it like smooth and he’s just like, yep, I’m gonna go the other way.

Cassie Horrell: I was baffled. it was just one of those moments that I’ll remember. For my whole life, like I’m so weary sometimes the DJs because of that one experience, even though I know there’s amazing professional DJs out there, but like every time I get this like sinking feeling like, gosh, I hope they know what they’re doing.

Christa Innis: Probably. ’cause Yeah, you never saw that coming. Like, everything looks no. Well that point. And so then all of a sudden you’re like, are they gonna surprise me with a random,

Cassie Horrell: right. Like, I could understand if there were red flags. Like he wasn’t communicating, he wasn’t answering emails, but like. Nothing.

It was just that moment and I’m like. That was so strange and also just kind of sad.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I’m like,

Cassie Horrell: I wish I could rewind time, but I can’t.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. heard a story not that long ago and I can’t remember if it was the DJ or what, but they forgot to turn the music on while she was walking down the aisle and she said she was already very, like, uncomfortable with all eyes on her.

So imagine just like a silent room then. Wait.

Cassie Horrell: Do you? I could give you a second story on,

Christa Innis: yes.

Cassie Horrell: Yeah, so this story also deals with music not going on the aisle. I will never forget this. This was like pretty recent, not pretty recent, but like I. Within the last five years.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Everybody Clap for Me

Cassie Horrell: We had this happen where we just had, we call them ghosts.

Like sometimes in old buildings, like things happen and you’re just like, what? We had the song playing, like the team was playing the music. I was queuing the couple, I heard the song start. So I said to the bride, okay, go ahead and walk down the aisle. I walked around the backside so that I could like come in the other way to see the ceremony, and by the time I had walked around, the music had stopped.

I was like, where’s the music? So I go over to the dj, I was like, Hey, what’s going on? And he’s like, everything just went black. the system just went down. You couldn’t access, they had provided a Spotify list, you couldn’t access the page. Like what they had provided was just black. And the bride they had, luckily this was like a covid.

Celebration. So they’d been married for two years and they did already have like a wedding. So this was like a wedding with their family and friends. She literally was at the end of the aisle and she’s like, F it, everybody clap for me. And she walked on the aisle and everybody was like cheering for her.

But it was another one of those moments that you’re like, there was no stopping it, like the music was on and then the equipment just like.

Christa Innis: Went off, there’s nothing they could have done. Oh my, no.

Cassie Horrell: And luckily that bride specifically was just the most chill, fun, and like she was laughing and smiling, so it was okay.

But yeah, I would’ve freaked out. I think.

Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s funny, I was talking to someone how, like, I remember my makeup artist saying to me in the morning, my wedding. she’s like, you’re so relaxed for a bride. And I was kinda like, well, at this point, like everyone’s here, whatever happens, happens, you know, it’s no big deal.

Cassie Horrell: But thinking about. Music not starting while walking down the aisle, or like a big moment. I feel like I would be in my head, I think I would on the outside be fine. I wouldn’t do anything like crazy, but I would be like, oh my God. they do everything. Like, I don’t know, and there’s a lot of emotion tied to songs.

So like if you picked a special song. To play and then it’s not playing like that can tweak the way that you’re feeling in that moment. So I totally feel that.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Or playing like a different version of a song. ’cause like we were trying to be so specific with different songs,

We did a rock version of a very like. Classic love song and we did the avenge sevenfold version for like when grandparents were walking down and it just to be like a little different and it was awesome. But I’m like, if it was the different version, like I feel like that would’ve completely like changed how it would’ve been.

but yeah, I, to be specific, oh my gosh. Cringey. Cringey. I know. Let’s go into some wedding hot takes. yes. So this is just getting your opinion on some hot takes people have that they submit to me.Is it okay to ask for money instead of gifts or does it come off as greedy? I.

Cassie Horrell: So I think there is a more tasteful way to ask for a monetary gift.

I think it is definitely tacky if you’re saying like, cash only, we only want cash. I have seen people do that. I have heard stories where you’re like, Ooh, and people are gonna gift kind of whatever they’d like. So. I think there’s a tasteful way to ask it if you are looking for monetary gifts. however, I do kind of agree it is a little greedy and a little tacky to be like forcing that because a gift for a wedding is not mandatory.

And then to like be demanding a certain type of gift, I also think is. It’s not my style, I wouldn’t recommend.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I agree. I feel like, I’ve been to some weddings and actually the ones that I think asked this were like over covid. So they weren’t doing showers or anything and so like instead of that, like they did an announcement and they were like, oh, just send cash if you wanna send a gift.

‘ cause they weren’t doing like any kind of in person thing. So I got that. But. for me, I’m never gonna bring a wrapped gift to a wedding. That’s just not me neither. It’s not my style. No. Even our own wedding, I think only a few people actually did that. But yeah, to me, I would never just be like, only gimme the cash.

Like, yeah. It feels

Cassie Horrell: weird. Well, and I feel like there’s just so many creative ways now, like. If there’s the honeymoon fund, or you could buy somebody an experience or you could build out those experiences for your honeymoon, which literally it does just send you cash, but it will be like, help us pay for a wine dinner.

Help us pay for this excursion. that is a more tasteful way than to just be like, if you wanna give us a gift, give us cash. Like, I get it. People nowadays live together, they already have a lot of the things that you would gift. Mm-hmm. you don’t have to force cash onto people and just let them gift what they feel comfortable with.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And if it doesn’t work out, you can return it and get the cash for it. Great. Put something else out. Don’t make a big Yeah. Stink about it. Yeah. I had some people like comment one time about, I was talking about the honeymoon, how it’s like you can gift for like a honeymoon, you know? Whatever that program is.

And, they were like, I’m not funding someone’s honeymoon. And I was like, well, if you’re giving a gift at a wedding, you don’t know how they’re gonna use that money. Right. Whether they use it from bed sheets or a drink at the bar, you’re not gonna know. So if you just wanna like, give a gift, you have to know that that’s their choice.

How they wanna spend it.

Cassie Horrell: Exactly. Yeah.

Christa Innis: okay. Should couples have to invite all their family members, even the ones they barely talk to?

Cassie Horrell: No. Straight up. No,

Christa Innis: we agree there. Yeah. I feel like that’s such an odd thing, but it happens all the time.

Cassie Horrell: a ton of people feel the pressure from like parents mainly.

I feel like to invite the second invite the third cousin, oh, I went to their daughter’s wedding. So we have to extend an invite and I feel like if it doesn’t fit in the budget or it’s not a priority for those people to be there, there’s no reason you should be inviting them.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Cassie Horrell: Specifically if you’ve never met them before. Like a lot of people are like, I don’t wanna introduce myself to someone for the very first time on my wedding day. Yeah. why would I waste my time doing that? Not that I don’t wanna meet those people, but I don’t know. The wedding day is about you and your partner and the love together.

So a lot of people want people they know and support them and know them as a couple to celebrate their day with them.

Christa Innis: Yeah, 100%. Yeah. I don’t get the, like I have to invite. My great aunt’s second cousin once removed and you’re like, what’s their name? And you’re like, I why? Yeah, just so they like get dressed up for a few hours and hang out with like someone they barely know.

I don’t know.

Cassie Horrell: Also, weddings are so expensive of like to add five to eight random people that even if they’re related. Onto the guest list could be like thousands of dollars.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Cassie Horrell: Like I don’t know if people think about that. I don’t know.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I don’t think so. Not a fan. Well, I think too, like that generation, like weddings have changed so much since then.

Yes. I remember some people commenting saying like, oh yeah, we just got married in our parents or the church basement and like it was free and we had just had sheet cake. And that’s all well and good. And some people still do that and I think that’s great, but just realize that every wedding is different and their budgets are different and.

Timelines. All that stuff.

Cassie Horrell: Agreed.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Okay. Let’s jump into this week’s story submission. So as always, feel free to stop me or I’ll kind of make pause. We can just react to this story. Let’s see what happens. Okay. Me, 24 female and my fiance, 24 male, were set to get married in late summer.

We’ve been engaged for a couple of years in planning our wedding ever since. I’ve always dreamed of eloping in another country, and my parents generously offered to cover the elopement since it would be cheaper than a full wedding here in the us. All right. That’s

Cassie Horrell: nice.

Christa Innis: Very nice. Thank you. We made the decision to go that route and shared it with my fiance’s family.

We told them they could attend if they covered their own travel or we’d live stream the ceremony. His parents immediately pushed back. His mom refused to fly due to fear and not wanting to pay for a plane ticket. His dad didn’t wanna skip a vacation with his parents. Oh. Because spending money on our wedding would cut into his travel funds.

Cassie Horrell: Oh Lord.

Christa Innis: Okay. Well, here we learn about priorities. Like, yep, we got tired of the back and forth and went back to my family. They kindly agreed to help us fund a stateside wedding instead. So they’re Wow. Keeping their plans. And also

Cassie Horrell: these parents, this set of parents seem super friendly and supportive.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And they’re just like, whatever you want. Sure. Got that for you. oh, here we go. On the conviction that my fiance spoke to you soon, that my fiance’s parents would cover the honeymoon. Oh, that’s like unheard of to investigation where we would originally elope. See, that’s where I’m kinda like, oh, now you’re putting expectations on the other parents when, right.

I don’t think it’s a parent’s duty to pay for a honeymoon at all. No. So that’s kind of weird to me. it says his parents agreed.

Cassie Horrell: Wow.

Christa Innis: Okay. Okay. something tells me they’re not gonna actually agree.

Cassie Horrell: I was gonna say, it doesn’t seem right because they didn’t wanna pay to attend the ceremony, but they’ll pay for their honeymoon, which I’m like, it probably would equate to the same.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And then they’re not even going to the honeymoon, so they’re paying for a vacation for someone else. As opposed to if they paid for the elopement, they would be there with them.

Cassie Horrell: Yeah.

Christa Innis: So something’s not

Cassie Horrell: adding up. Something is not right.

Christa Innis: My family put down a deposit on the venue. A year later, I asked my fiance if the honeymoon had been booked.

He said, no. Again, maybe it’s, and you might agree with me, ’cause you’re a planner too. The planner type A me would never put that in the hands of someone else.

Cassie Horrell: I’m no looking at myself. Right. I would do the same thing. I’d be like, I’m booking the place, I’m picking the flights. I’m not leaving it up to someone else.

No,

Christa Innis: no. So many of these, I’m like, oh my gosh, you trusted that person for that long. Oh my gosh. I’d be like. Freaking out. he said no. A month later after that, he told me it was okay. Fast forward to this April, I found out that my fiance had paid for most of the honeymoon himself, at least 80% of it through monthly payments.

Cassie Horrell: Oh, he’s covering for his parents. That’s kind of like, I think it’s sweet on his part, but also like, what the heck with the parents that said they would pay for it.

Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s like this whole thing’s kinda weird to me because it’s like he felt, he couldn’t tell you that he was paying for it until April.

So I don’t know when this started. And then the parents lied about wanting to help cover it. But I also think it’s kind of interesting to have the parents pay the honeymoon. oh, that his parents were upset, they were expected to pay at all. Then why didn’t they communicate that?

Cassie Horrell: They could have just said, no, we’re not doing that, and then they would’ve eloped without them.

Christa Innis: Exactly. So they’re causing all these issues, like they’re changing their elopement to have a stateside wedding. And then they’re like, oh, well you pay for the honeymoon. Yeah, we will jk. We’re not going

Cassie Horrell: psych.

You Need to Keep Paying and Keep Lying to Her

Christa Innis: I pressed my fiance for the truth and he finally called his mom.

She told him word for word, we’re not doing this. You need to keep paying and keep lying to her about it. So they wanted it to look like they were paying for it.

Cassie Horrell: Oh, I do feel bad for the groom in this situation. ’cause I’m like, he’s probably trying to salvage the relationship between his partner and his parents.

But his parents just, they could have just communicated that they were uncomfortable paying and then it would’ve been fine.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

don’t know. I’m like so confused by this too. ’cause I feel like, and we don’t know like their relationship or the relationship between the parents, but like. I’m thinking about my own parents and my own in-laws.

if my parents had to do this, they would never be like, well, only if their parent, his parents do this. Like, they would never say that either.

Cassie Horrell: No.

Christa Innis: I feel like there’s a weird communication between all parties involved here.

Cassie Horrell: Yes.

Christa Innis: But yeah, I really feel for the fiance, ’cause you can tell he’s kind of put in the middle of the mom being like, just pay for it and lie to her about it.

Like, what

Cassie Horrell: don’t, that’s ludicrous.

“This Isn’t About Us Anymore”

Christa Innis: She says, I was devastated. I told him we should cancel the local wedding and just elope like we originally planned because this clearly wasn’t about us anymore. He told his parents and they freaked out, not because we were canceling, but because my parents would still be there paying their own way, mind you, and they wouldn’t be included now.

Cassie Horrell: Oh, so this was about like a money comparison with the other set of parents?

Mm-hmm. Yeah. It’s like. if they just agreed to the original elopement plan and just paid their way to go, it’d be way less than paying for any of this, and they’d be a part of it. I feel like this facade, whatever the group’s parents have, they used the stateside wedding as an excuse to look like they were participating, but in actuality, they were just kinda like.

Get away Scotch free.

Christa Innis: Yes. And have the sun cover for them to make them look. Mm-hmm. they were paying for it. That is crazy. And I wonder like if they were gonna help with anything else for the stateside wedding, if they’re just gonna be like, oh, the honeymoon, we’re just gonna take care of that and take care of it, quote unquote.

Yeah,

Cassie Horrell: but not really.

Christa Innis: But not really. So then they agreed to cover the wedding. Again, except not the food or the flights, just the hotel. Fine. We said let’s just get through it. About 40 days out, my parents reached out to my fiance, not about money, just logistics and decor to see what his family wanted to contribute to.

Oh, for the actual wedding. Okay. His parents hadn’t participated at all during the two years of planning. Why am I not surprised?

Cassie Horrell: Yeah. Surprise, surprise.

Christa Innis: They seem very like into just like not being a part of things. Even when we invited them to help pick out my dress or with the decor, did not want a part of it.

My fiance sent an upbeat message to his dad asking what they wanted to help with. His dad lost it. Said they weren’t contributing a thing and accused my family of starting a pissing contest.

Cassie Horrell: Oh Lord,

Christa Innis: here we go. They just don’t wanna look like they’re not doing enough. But now it’s a competition. they just would’ve gone with the original plan.

It never would’ve been like this. No. My fiance went to their house to talk in person because half of the remaining payments were due. The next day. While there, his mom screamed at him to get out never come back. He called me angry and heartbroken and said, maybe we should just cancel a wedding.

This is really sad.

Cassie Horrell: I know this is making me sad for the couple.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I just don’t get why the parents wouldn’t just be like, oh, we, don’t have the funds. Or we would just rather not Right. just leave it at that. Unless there’s something that we’re not just playing devil’s advocate, like unless there’s something we’re not hearing.

Like if there was a lot of pressure and they just felt like, are they kept, I feel the same

Cassie Horrell: thing. It would’ve been easier for them to just communicate clearly early on. Yeah. And then. The other parents and the couple to then plan accordingly then to say, yeah, we’re gonna participate, and then last minute be like, actually we’re not.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And, and then getting mad and now it’s just awkward. I feel like they’re just making more of like a buffer between everybody. Yeah. it says my parents who had already spent money on the venue were so understanding They offered without being asked to pay for an elopement again, but if they already paid for the venue, so now they’re just going back and forth if they want a venue or elopement.

Cassie Horrell: Right.

You’re No Longer My Son

Christa Innis: Okay. My mom was incredibly kind to, my fiance apologized to him and told him they weren’t mad, just worried about us.

They said they’d support us however they could. My fiance tried to talk to his parents. They refused and said, this isn’t you. This is her. And you need to get over it. This was the last straw and he cut contact.

Cassie Horrell: Yikes.

Christa Innis: I feel like there’s a lot of like hurt on both sides and we’re not, there’s something missing.

Like Yeah, I mean I guess things can explode like out of this, but I don’t know. I feel like there’s some detail about the parents that are like his parents that were like. Why are they so angry?

Cassie Horrell: I feel like their behavior’s probably always been like this and maybe the groom’s used to it and the bride and the other parents are singing it for the first time.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And so

Cassie Horrell: it’s like abrupt to us, but probably not if you actually know them.

Christa Innis: Yeah, no, that’s true. Yeah. ’cause I feel like it comes to especially like planning events or a big thing, like a wedding. Personalities come out. Right. And so like if her family is more like organized with planning or maybe they have a little more finances to be able to help with it, then they might just get very like insecure or feel bad and then it causes this other like, I dunno, deep rooted like anger or, you know, some other emotions to come up.

Yeah. a month has passed since we canceled the wedding. His mom still won’t admit to anything. We have a full recording of her telling him to lie to me. His dad admitted everything but said she’s sad about losing her son. This is so sad.

Cassie Horrell: She caused it though. Like Yeah, I just mean like it’s the mother of the group.

Christa Innis: It’s sad. It’s like a sad story. I feel like, that he is like losing his parents, you know? It’s like to go through that.

Cassie Horrell: I don’t know. Yeah. Especially when you’re wedding planning. there’s already a lot of emotions and it’s stressful. And then to have that happen on top is like the icing on the cake.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And it’s like she can’t just open her eyes up a bit to see like, okay, they caused this if they wanted to actually be there for her son and future wife, they can do that. Like, it’s just some communication. But I feel like some of that, I dunno, some personalities like. Once they feel like they’ve been wronged, they can’t see outside of it.

And then it’s just like, that’s it. I’m like,

Cassie Horrell: narcissist.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I mean, seriously. And then I feel like the husband, you know, it’s like he, probably is in the middle now because he’s like, he’s so mad she doesn’t wanna talk to him. And then, he wants, still wants to talk to his son, but it’s like

That’s a big deal. the dad said, my fiance should just let it go, but this is a pattern. She does something pretends it never happens and expects everyone to go along with it. So there we go. Yeah. So this is probably, you said not the first time they’ve probably done this, their whole relationship, but the wedding was the icing on the cake for her.

I bet. Yep. My fiance finally said, enough is enough. The only time he is heard from her since was when she demanded to come and get a few boxes and threatened to drop off personal documents, including his birth certificate and social security card on our doorstep when we weren’t home.

Cassie Horrell: What, she’s going to the extremes here.

Christa Innis: He’s like, you’re no longer my son. I’m cutting contact completely. Like, what? But people are this crazy. That’s

Cassie Horrell: why like, this story happened to someone and I’m like, I just can’t imagine.

Christa Innis: and think of it down the line if someone’s like, oh, why don’t, isn’t your son talk to you?

It’s like, oh, he got married. It’s like, what? Yeah. It’s like a exciting and joyous time and you, couldn’t communicate something and so you decided to just be like bitter and cross your arms and be like, well, guess I don’t have a son anymore. Like,

Cassie Horrell: that’s wild.

Christa Innis: What? That is insane. She was gonna drop off his birth certificate.

Three days later, she was on vacation and then called him like nothing had happened. Hey, how’s it going

Cassie Horrell: d Lulu?

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. How’s wedding planning? How can I help? Like what,

Cassie Horrell: Hmm. Something’s not right there.

Christa Innis: That would drive me insane. I some of these stories. I’m just like, how do people like. Have relationships with someone like that because you probably are constantly thinking you’re going crazy.

You’re like, wait, did I imagine that last, conversation with that person. Like, am I going crazy? says, it’s bizarre. It’s painful. We spent two years planning this wedding only to cancel it six weeks before the date. Six weeks, no, eight. Yikes. So that means they probably paid a majority.

Had all them. Oh yeah. Would they have all the invitations and stuff out by that point?

Cassie Horrell: Yeah, they would’ve sent invitations out. They would’ve had people RSVPing. usually the six week mark is like, RSVPs are due. So like imagine all the people that like were making arrangements to come to the wedding.

I don’t know how big it was gonna be, but like still,

Christa Innis: yeah, they probably

Cassie Horrell: had room blocks. They probably had all their vendors booked. Like, I don’t know. That’s devastating, To have to cancel when it, I understand canceling a wedding, if the two people decide we’re not getting married. Right.

But to cancel a wedding because someone is being overdramatic overbearing and like a narcissist. I think that’s devastating and that’s sad

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Cassie Horrell: That couple had to do that.

Christa Innis: Right. the last part ends with, we’ll be eloping in Italy. Yay. Parents are not invited. So feel like if anything, this is a lesson to those listening that just go with your gut of what you want for your wedding.

Because how much, yes, you probably hear it all the time and have to say to people all the time is like block out all the extra noise. Because I feel like so many times when brides and grooms like everyone else wants, they regret their wedding more because they don’t do what actually is like meaningful to them.

They Finally Kicked Her Out of the Car

Cassie Horrell: I always like to explain it to my couples. like you’re driving a car and you have a destination where you want to go, and when you start letting every other person give their opinions, it’s like you jump into the passenger seat and someone else is driving and they’re doing their own thing. So you might end up like on the opposite side of the country because of what other people want.

So I do think you, you do have to be selfish a little bit when you’re wedding planning because

Christa Innis: it is

Cassie Horrell: your day. You need to like keep your priorities in mind and go with your gut feeling of like what you want in reason, of course,

Christa Innis: right. But

Cassie Horrell: making sure other people don’t sway you so drastically. Like they went from an elopement to a stateside wedding to canceling then back to exactly what they planned,

Christa Innis: but

Cassie Horrell: had to.

Wait so long for that moment.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Cassie Horrell: Because of the mother of the group.

Christa Innis: Yeah. So many hurdles in the meantime. I love that analogy of driving because that’s so true. It’s like if you are constantly and people pull you different directions, you’re gonna make all these pit stops that you didn’t

Need to make in the case of this couple, they just drove all the way around the country.

Cassie Horrell: They got on a plane and flew around.

Christa Innis: Yes. They finally kicked her out of the car. cause it sounds like from the beginning they knew what they wanted to do. So if you are a couple that wants to elope, elope, if you’re a couple that wants a small wedding, have a small wedding.

If you want a big wedding, have a big wedding, just block out the noise and just you and your partner are the main people that matter.

Cassie Horrell: Yeah, and I do think it’s really important, like weddings are, they do include family. There is a lot of family dynamics in play and I think if you are taking into consideration, especially heavy consideration parents wants, then like that conversation needs to happen.

Very early on. Yeah. So that everybody’s on the same page and everybody is aware and this, it kind of seemed like they made a decision with one set of the parents. They informed the other set of the parents and like that’s where it kind of went awry.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. And

Cassie Horrell: so maybe if they would’ve had the conversation super early, not that I think it’s okay with the mother of the groom did, but if both sets of parents were in the original conversation, they probably could have saved themselves some drama.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And I feel like there’s some people too, like this mom seems like she might’ve just been the victim no matter what. But yeah, I agree. I feel like there’s some people where you have to like tiptoe in and be like, Hey, make ’em feel like it was their idea or something.

And then other people, it’s like they have to know first. Like, I read one story that was like. Because the bride told her parents first, and I think the bride’s mom was talking to the groom’s mom. She got so offended that they already planned this whole wedding without her. And they’re like, no, they just booked the venue.

That’s it. So like some people feel like something’s been taken from them and it’s like, oh my gosh. Like so a whole wedding to plan.

Cassie Horrell: Yeah. Pump the brakes. Everybody can be included. Yes.

Christa Innis: We’ll be okay. It’s fine. Oh my gosh. The number of times I hear of like, just like the drama at weddings, just like tearing families apart.

Cassie Horrell: But I always like to remind people too, and you might have your own perspective on this, but I feel like if a wedding is what pulled people apart, there was already something like either something stewing or. Some red flags were already kind of showing. I agree.

I feel like if it comes to a head because of the wedding, then there’s some sort of underlying situation that you’ve probably dealt with before

Christa Innis: and it

Cassie Horrell: just was brushed under the rug. It’s just the wedding brings the biggest emotions in so many people, and I don’t know why, but it is sometimes make or break for some relationships.

Christa Innis: And

Cassie Horrell: you just have to like move forward and realize like you’re seeing their true colors for a reason and for the good or the bad.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Cassie Horrell: Sometimes like it brings people closer. Sometimes it’s the opposite and people are like, I don’t wanna be friends with them anymore. I don’t wanna talk to them again. you see the extreme on both sides during the wedding planning process.

Not always, but sometimes.

Christa Innis: But sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. Don’t be fearful of your listening and you’re like, oh no. Like if there’s already some kind of red flags or people that can’t support, I don’t know how to word it. People that can’t allow others to shine or like can’t like allow

Cassie Horrell: the, they can’t silently support, like they have to have some sort of opinion.

Christa Innis: Yeah, those are the people. It’s hard

Cassie Horrell: for them.

Christa Innis: They’re gonna fault her during that time. Yes. That’s what you hear. Like when the bridesmaid does something or says something in her speech or cause that’s the friend that’s been secretly like little, maybe a little jealous or just can’t have the spotlight on somebody else.

Cassie Horrell: but, and also one uppers, those are the other people that like, have

Christa Innis: a

Cassie Horrell: very difficult time during the wedding planning process because it becomes like a comparing game. Like, oh, my daughter got married or. They got engaged. Oh, you have to get engaged. And it becomes like a competition where I’m like, why does it have to be a competition?

Like you guys could both get married, you could do it at your own pace, you could have different types of weddings. but you do see that a lot as well.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Life is so much better when you’re not comparing yourself to every person for every little thing. ’cause you’ll never win in a conversation with everybody around you.

You’ll just never win. Like, ‘ cause someone’s always gonna have, the better this, the better that. And it’s like. You just have to stick true to you, and that’s when you’ll be happiest.

Cassie Horrell: Yeah. And I mean that is like, I think it’s a blessing and a curse, social media for weddings. Mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: Because

Cassie Horrell: I mean, on TikTok, you’re seeing so much, you’re seeing these beautiful weddings.

Same thing with Pinterest. You know, you see all these things. You’re like, I have to have a wedding like that. When in actuality the weddings that are like highlighted and shown are 300,000 plus dollar weddings. And I’m like, that’s not an average wedding. So just like in general life, it’s the same thing with weddings.

People just like, they want what they see and they just crave that. And then at the end of the day, like their wedding doesn’t look like that or they can’t include A, B, or C and it causes issues. Yeah. Just do what you want within your budget and I think people will have fun.

Christa Innis: Yeah, and I think one thing too with like planning weddings is like.

If you’re more excited about sharing your wedding photos on social media than the actual day, then that’s a sign that we’re doing things for maybe the wrong reason. I don’t know. Maybe that’s a hot take.

Cassie Horrell: You are right. And there is people that do that. Like they spend their all their money so they can have these Instagramable moments or they can create the TikTok.

But I’m like, on my wedding day, all I remember is like having. So much fun with my husband and like our friends and being on the dance floor. Like I don’t ever remember once being like, oh, I have to make sure that like I get this to post. Like, I don’t know. I feel like if that’s how your day is, then like,

Christa Innis: yeah.

I saw, this is years ago, someone I know from like a long time ago. On her wedding day, she posted one picture of herself and said, can’t wait to see my friends.

Cassie Horrell: Oh Lord.

Christa Innis: And I was like, what about your partner? Bad sign. And they got divorced, like,

Cassie Horrell: there we go. Exactly.

Christa Innis: I’m not saying that to judge, but I’m just like, think about like how you view your wedding day and it’s like, what are you most excited for?

Like, yes, of course you wanna see your friends and celebrate. I don’t mean that in a bad way, but aren’t you excited for like. Marrying your person and having your first dance and it was just like, if you’re just more excited about showing off and like posting it to social media and getting the likes, then that’s not exactly the.

I dunno.

Cassie Horrell: Not the vibes.

Christa Innis: Not the vibes. okay. Let’s go into the next segment, which is weekly confessions. These are confessions that people send me on Instagram and we’ll just react to ’em. We don’t get as much detail here, so we kinda have to read between the lines a little bit.

Weekly Confessions

Okay. This first one says, my mother-in-law treats my son differently because he’s an IVF baby. What? What? That’s one terrible two. Like what? His

Cassie Horrell: own mom, you said it said mother-in-law, right? Yeah. My mother-in-law,

Christa Innis: my mother-in-law treats my son differently. Oh,

Cassie Horrell: her a grandson. I thought it was like her husband.

Oh, was not understanding that at first,

Christa Innis: like her treats her son differently.

Cassie Horrell: Yeah, she treats her grandson differently. Her

Christa Innis: grandson, because he’s IVF.

Cassie Horrell: I’m sorry. People are crazy.

Christa Innis: no matter like how you have that baby, it’s your baby. And they should love that baby. Just the same.

Cassie Horrell: Yeah. Even if it was like a foster baby or an adoption baby, like they’re your baby.

They’re part of your family. Like everybody should be the same. Same with step kids. I cannot stand when people treat other children differently. They’re children.

Christa Innis: Yes. I just don’t get that. I’ve heard of this happening before. someone I just talked to said like, I think it was like an in-law I’ll keep it very anonymous, but her in-law,

has a grandson, but it’s a step grandson. So the way they treat that son as opposed to the other one is so different and it’s like, but you’re still grandma to that. Yeah. Need to still be grandma. Like It’s just I don’t get that.

Cassie Horrell: I did a story on one of those and I was like baffled at the things I was reading.

’cause I’m like, they’re just kids. They’re just babies. they’re your family. You gotta love on ’em and that’s it.

Christa Innis: Yeah. They did nothing. Like if you have. Angst towards, you know, a parent or an ex or something. It’s like the kid did nothing to deserve that.

Cassie Horrell: No.

Christa Innis: okay. Next one is, we hired security to keep certain uninvited people away from our wedding.

Have you Okay. Get a lot of weddings.

Cassie Horrell: So where I work, we have security. They don’t do like security, what you would imagine, they’re not like checking a guest list. Yes, I have seen security at a wedding. Not all my weddings have actual security like that, but I think if you have a situation where you are no contact or there is a relationship where you think someone might arise and it’s going to cause issues

Christa Innis: mm-hmm.

Cassie Horrell: Then save yourself the stress of thinking of them arriving and get security. it’s not as common as people think, but it does happen.

Christa Innis: Wow. That’s so interesting. Yeah. I’ve, had a lot of stories submitted to me where I shouldn’t say a lot. Like you said, probably like 10%, 5%.

Yeah. like really a small percentage. but where they’re like, we had to call security or we had to have security on standby because so and so might show up. I think most of the time there’s just there as precaution. I’m sure they don’t have to do anything, but occasionally. I’m sure there’s something.

Cassie Horrell: We had one where we had like pictures. We all had pictures of what the person looked like. A they didn’t show up, but we were prepared. Oh. If they were to show up like we were gonna call the cops. So,

Christa Innis: whoa. You’re like on guard just waiting. Yeah, we were

Cassie Horrell: ready.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. this last one says, me and the hubby almost eloped because of not wanting to be on display.

’cause we are shy.

Cassie Horrell: Fair enough. I think for some people, like if you don’t wanna be the center of attention, then a wedding day, like a standard American celebration might not be the right fit for you. And I feel like in that case, an elopement makes complete sense.

Christa Innis: Yeah. That can be very daunting of like all the eyes on you.

If music doesn’t play, that could be very, very double the

Cassie Horrell: stress.

Christa Innis: Yeah. But it sounds like they didn’t got married so. Hey, good for you. Do what makes sense for you. Hopefully it wasn’t through bullying of other people. Well, thank you so much for coming back on. That was so fun chatting and hanging out again.

for anyone listening, can you tell ’em again where they can find you and then anything exciting that you’re working on?

Cassie Horrell: you can find me at Wedding Pro Cast on all socials, so TikTok, Instagram, Facebook. YouTube, I’m working on a really cool YouTube series, which is Wedding Whisper. There’s been like short clips of it on my TikTok and Instagram.

but those will be like longer episodes of me interviewing real wedding vendors, particularly in the Pittsburgh area. Just getting like hot takes and their best tips and tricks about. Kind of their category of vendor category at a wedding. So that’s a big project I’ve been working on. I’m on a couple of podcasts coming up, which are all kind of wedding based, which will be fun.

and I was just on the Tamron Hall Show, which was a really cool experience. So you can see that. I think it’s on Disney Plus or Hulu now, but it Oh,

Christa Innis: awesome. Was

Cassie Horrell: released early April. So yeah. And then my books will be coming out and you can kind of find me online every day.

Christa Innis: Yay. Awesome. Well, sounds good.

Well, thank you again for coming on. That was a lot of fun.

Cassie Horrell: Thank you for having me.

by Christa Innis

Blog Transcript:

From 60 Weddings to Choosing Balance

POTS, Passing Out, and Pushing Through

Wedding Etiquette Under the Microscope

5AM Glam or Lipstick in the Car

The Bounced Check Wedding Nightmare

‘I Know the Owner’ Energy

Wedding Confessions & Regrets

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From Weddings to Motherhood

Wedding Stress & Boundaries

Last-Minute Saves & Meltdowns

When Sisterly Support Turns Competitive

Wedding Speech Fails and Social Media Chaos

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Wedding 911: Honeymoon Bills & Bridesmaid Dress Drama

Red Flag or Green Flag? The Wedding Edition

The Mother-in-Law Who Made the Wedding All About Herself

Three Weddings, One Messy Family Tree

Mother-in-Law on Vacation With the Ex?

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Breaking Traditions: A Bride’s Dream Wedding with Zero Rules

Engagement Rings, Proposals & The Myth of the “Perfect Surprise”

Wedding Dilemmas: Cheesy DJs, Awkward Speeches & Destination Dreams

The Sister Who Wore White (Twice!) and Hijacked the Wedding

When Your Husband’s Friend Tries to Steal the Spotlight

Mother-in-Laws, Bad Photos & Drunk Maids of Honor

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The Reality TV Chaos Behind the Scenes

Sisterly Showdown at the Bouquet Toss: Wedding Drama You Won’t Believe!

From TikTok Stunts to Bridal Party Boundaries: Wedding Drama Gets Real

Wedding Drama Rapid Fire: From Jealous Bridesmaids to Reality TV Proposals!

A Tale of Jealousy, Selfishness, and Boundaries!

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Teacher Turned Advocate

Teacher Balancing Truth & Boundaries

A Diagnosis That Changed Everything

Weddings Would-You-Rather

Bridesmaid Dress Drama

Wedding Party Love Story

The Great Wedding Dinner Debate

First Dance or Skip It?

No Ring, No Bring and the Reality of Guest Lists

Bridesmaid Meets Her Groom’s Family

Maid of Honor Regrets & MIL Drama

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Mother of the Groom Chaos

Hijacked Wedding Family of the Groom’s Control

A Wedding Day Gone Off the Rails

The Thanksgiving Reveal That Changed Everything

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When Family Drama Threatens Your Wedding

On First Looks, Taco Bars & Cake Smashes

When Weddings Cost More Than Money

When a Friendship Feels Like Family—and Then Falls Apart

Blog Transcript:

“We’re Doing the First Dance… Right?”

Everybody Clap for Me

You Need to Keep Paying and Keep Lying to Her

“This Isn’t About Us Anymore”

You’re No Longer My Son

They Finally Kicked Her Out of the Car

Weekly Confessions

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