Book Launch Day + A Wedding Party Meltdown You Won’t Believe
What happens when a bride hates planning her own wedding, but demands a Vegas blowout and expects everyone else to make it magical?
In this episode, I share my biggest milestone yet: the official launch of my debut book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story, plus a jaw-dropping listener-submitted story that defines the word “ungrateful.”
I also break down wedding hot takes, the importance of boundaries, and why saying “no” is sometimes the most loving thing you can do—for others and yourself. Oh, and did we mention the bride cried in the club bathroom three separate times?
Listen to me read a new Ferris & Sloan excerpt, tackle controversial wedding traditions, and respond to one of the wildest bridal party betrayals I’ve ever received.
Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month!
Episode Chapter Markers
00:00 Introduction
00:40 Podcast Review and Pre-Launch Episode
01:47 Book Reading: Ferris and Sloan Story
06:28 Audiobook and Print Book Updates
08:07 Hot Takes and Relationship Advice
12:53 Crazy Wedding Drama Story
Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments
- The Book Is Officially Out – After months of teasing, I’m announcing my book launch and revealing what inspired me to turn viral confessions into a physical page-turner.
- The Vegas Bachelorette Breakdown – I relive one of the most unforgettable submissions about a bride who ended up crying in the club, and what it revealed about modern wedding expectations.
- Why I Wrote This Book – This isn’t just tea. It’s a time capsule of the emotional chaos, family dynamics, and societal pressure that weddings bring out in people.
- The Confession Selection Process – I explain how I chose which stories made it into the book, and why some were just too wild (or too heartbreaking) to publish.
- From Podcast to Print – How Here Comes the Drama evolved from mic to manuscript—and how my audience helped shape every chapter.
- Wedding Culture Needs a Wake-Up Call – I reflect on how the wedding industry has normalized unrealistic standards, and what we can do about it.
- The Stories That Stayed With Me – I share the one story I almost couldn’t include—and why it haunts me in the best way.
- Advice for the Brides Who Feel the Pressure – A personal reminder for anyone planning a wedding: you’re allowed to say no.
Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode
- “You know it’s bad when a bride is crying in the middle of a Vegas club—and everyone acts like that’s normal.” – Christa Innis
- “This book is for anyone who’s ever felt steamrolled by wedding expectations and still wanted to scream into a napkin.” – Christa Innis
- “The stories people submitted? Unhinged. Hilarious. Sometimes horrifying. And all 100% real.” – Christa Innis
- “Wedding culture breaks people down in ways we don’t talk about enough—and that’s why I wrote this.” – Christa Innis
- “Not every story made it into the book, but the ones that did? They stayed with me. Some of them still do.” – Christa Innis
Join the Drama with Christa Innis:
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Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.
Submit your story today: Story Submission Form
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A Team Dklutr Production
Blog Transcript:
Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Christa Innis: Hi guys. Welcome back to another exciting episode of Here Comes The Drama. It is officially launch day of my brand new book. Here comes the Drama of Ferris and Sloan story, I’m so excited to share more with you guys and have you officially read the book. starting off, I just wanna say thank you to everyone that has pre-ordered the book already.
If you’ve got an ebook, it will be automatically sent to your device. Um, but today is the official. Sale launch of the printed book, I wanna get to that in a second. First things first, I wanna read a podcast review and just thank you guys for listening. This is from Debbie, 1, 2, 1, 3. It says,
Absolutely love the podcast. I have enjoyed your skits and cannot wait for more Ferris and Sloan. I had to do a Ferris and Sloan review one because this is all about Ferris and Sloan. Now, kind of like the pre-launch episode, we’re gonna do things a little bit differently, but of course I’m going to end on a very juicy, crazy story.
I’ve not read it yet, but it’s one of those long ones with lots of crazy detail. So we will get into that one. But first things first, let’s talk a little bit more about the book. I’m not gonna do a crazy deep dive because we’ve done tons of q and As, but of course I’m always here to answer more questions.
I’m so excited. I can’t believe this day is finally here. I’m recording this a little bit earlier, so of course it still feels very surreal for me. if you’re watching the video, you’ll see this is my printed proof. I. Of course at the time this comes out, I’ll have my actual copy, but it’s so exciting to see.
We’re still making some changes, to it as I record this, but you guys will have the finalized version. I’m gonna read a small segment in it for you guys today too. I’m gonna leave off. Where I did on that last pre-launch episode. just to give you a little more teaser, most of you guys, if you got part one in your email, you might have already read this part, but I’ll add a little, extra while I read here.
Teaser Reading: Ferris, Sloan, and the Vacation Bombshell
So leaving off in part one, where the mom, Kate and Jenny were off basically, and she’s trying to talk her up to kind of get her back into the room with Ferris and Sloan. She just found out they’re going on vacation, so here we go. Great. Jenny gives her a swift thumbs up and gestures for her mother to follow her back into the living room where the others are.
Jenny is the first to step back into her parents’ living room where she spots her brother Ferris at the fridge, grabbing two beers, one for their dad, Ted, and one for himself. The room is warm with the scent of Thanksgiving, leftovers, the muffled hum of conversation drifts into the dining room.
You need more wine babe. Ferris calls out over his shoulder. His voice casual but affectionate. short, faintly golden hair with brown undertones is slightly tussled. A few strands falling into his face as he reaches for the fridge. Slowness curled up on the couch, legs crossed, swirling the last bit of red wine in her glass.
Her long, almost black hair drapes over one shoulder catching the warm glow of Christmas lights. She’s wearing a soft knit sweater Dress. In deep burgundy, paired with thick socks, comfortable yet casually stylish in a way that always seems natural to her. She looks over at him with a small knowing. Smile, Noah, he.
No, I still have some left. Thanks, Sloan. Smirks and turns. Just as she notices Jenny walking back in. Oh hey, is everything okay? Her eyes flicker between Jenny and Kate searching for any signs of what just happened. She knew Kate was upset about the trip, but sometimes it was easier to pretend she doesn’t notice than to invite more drama.
Yeah, sorry about that. Jenny says quickly, my mom thought she ate something bad. Her voice is light, but there’s a flicker of something else beneath it before Sloan can press Jenny shifts gears. So anyway, tell us more about your trip. Where are you guys going?
She walks right up to Sloan and sits down at the chair across from her. Kate reenters the room lingering near the doorway. Arms crossed disd, practically radiating off of her. We’re going to Santa Monica. Sloan replies quietly combing her hair behind her ear. I’ve never been before. Ferris knows I hate the snow, so he planned for a warm vacation to get us outta here.
It was all his idea, so he’ll have more of the details. She looks over at Ferris now seated next to her on the couch, Ferris hands his dad a beer, then takes a sip of his own and leans back. Yeah, I mean, I don’t have too much planned yet, But I thought we’d escape the dreaded Milwaukee winter and soak up some sun for once.
He nodded towards the window where a thick clumps of snow swirl in the wind before reaching over and gently grabbing Sloan’s hand.
Sloan glances down at their intertwined fingers, a soft smile forming as warmth blooms in her chest. But even in the comfort of this moment, she can feel Kate’s disapproval lingering like a heavy cloud that refuses to pass.
That sounds amazing. Jenny jumps in quickly. What do you think, mom? Doesn’t that sound fun? Her voice is too chipper. Eyes flicking towards Kate with the hope that a simple question might smooth over the crack in the room. Ted Schiff, slightly in his chair, has gaze fixed on his wife.
He raises his eyebrows just enough to signal, go easy, try to be happy, but it’s clear he’s bracing himself. after almost 30 years of marriage, he knows her moods, her tells he knows exactly where this could be headed. When Kate answers, yeah, it sounds great. With a snap of sarcasm. Ted Exhales just barely for a split second,
it seems like that might have been the end of it, but then he catches the sudden shift of her expression. She gasps his shoulders stiffen. Here it comes. Maybe we should all go. Her somber mood instantly flips to excitement making her way to the front of the room. Sloan Tenses.
Every instinct screams at her to shut the idea down, but she hesitates. It’s not her place. Kate has always been dismissive of her. Why would this moment be any different? Okay, so one of the top questions you guys ask me is with the audiobook coming, if I’m going to be the voice of the audio book. I’ve talked about this before, but if you can hear my reading while I read it, that is probably why I’m not doing the audio book.
I feel like I overthink every little thing. So even with like edits and stuff, I’m like, oh my gosh, I’m not like a voice actor. It’s so much easier for me to like talk. About something then read off something and I just put so much pressure on myself. by this time I might have more updates on the audiobook, so if you guys are waiting for that, that will be coming out soon.
I will be sharing updates on the audiobook and email as well. But I hope you guys enjoyed that little segment. like I said, if you already, um, read part one because you downloaded it, you’ve already read that, but it’s kind of fun just to hear it in a voice as well. so like I said, if you already pre-ordered the ebook that has been sent to you already, and then you can order the print books today.
And I just ask if you guys. Wanna share any kind of update. if you enjoy the book, share what you’re doing while you read the book, share, a picture of it on your counter, share a video of you opening it up from the mail, whatever that looks like. I would love to see you guys reading the book, posting about it.
then of course, tag me and I would love to reshare it to my page, just the more people that can see the book it would really help me and help the book. So, very excited for it. And of course, if you love the book, please leave a review. That helps so many more people, um, hear about it as well. I know that was all about Ferris and Sloan.
Crazy Wedding Drama Takes
I’m just so excited for the launch, but, Let’s dive into the crazy drama that is this week. So first things first, I’m going to get into some hot takes that you guys sent me The first one says, people should always know that this spouse comes first. The rest can go to hell.
Okay? So I wouldn’t say that. So, Dramatically, I guess. essentially, I agree. I feel like once you choose a spouse and a partner and you are on the same page, they should be your priority. especially, you know, when it comes to planning a wedding or planning an event or relationship boundaries.
Figure them out with your partner first. Then you can allow in other opinions and other people. Otherwise it gets very misconstrued. It gets overwhelming to listen to all these opinions and it’s like, oh, do I listen to my partner or my mom or whatever? You really need to put your partner before everybody.
this says cost of the ring doesn’t matter. It’s the memories attached to it that make it feel special. I a hundred percent agree. I feel like there used to be, and people will probably say this is still a thing, but it used to be, A certain percentage of your rent or your income and they would tell you like you have to spend that on an engagement ring.
And I say throw that out the door. I don’t think that should be a thing anymore. I think it’s really about what’s important for the partner. I’ve seen people do just a very simple ring. I’ve with no jewels on it. I’ve seen people do just a rubber ring. I’ve seen people do a huge diamond on it.
I’ve seen people do a sapphire or other kind of jewels on it. I think it’s really important to listen to yourself because you’re gonna be the one wearing it, and I think so many times we get caught up in what everyone else says you have to wear or have to spend, and that none of that, no matter what anyone says, none of that dictates or says anything about your relationship.
It doesn’t only you guys know what makes sense. I feel like it’s just so easy to get caught up and that’s, that goes for anything when it comes to wedding planning. So, ultimately, I don’t think it matters. Don’t go broke and don’t, go into debt for a wedding ring, essentially. this person says, do they really need bachelor, bachelorette weekends?
I think it’s a waste of money. Okay. So here’s my thing, when it comes to how you spend your money, everyone views things differently, right? So I might buy this shirt and someone might see that and be like, that’s a waste of money. I might upgrade my car. And someone might think that’s a waste of money.
I might hear someone got new tires and I’m like, that’s a waste of money, So it’s like everyone’s gonna have their own viewpoints when it comes to bachelorette bachelor parties, Do. Some of them go very over the top, of course. But would I wanna be on one of those trips? Absolutely. If I could.
be a part of it. Yeah, I would wanna go to it. Are they always needed? No. But if that’s something you value and you’re like, you know what, I wanna really fun trip away with my best guy friends or my best girlfriends, whoever. More power to you. Do it.
Go ahead. Now, where I feel like it might be too much is when you pressure bridesmaids and groomsmen to go on a trip they might not be able to afford. That’s where it gets a little murky. I don’t think that should be a thing. There should never be pressure. If you want it, allow people to say no. we all value different things.
For myself and for my closest group of friends, we were all in each other’s weddings. So for us it was like a girl’s trip away. So I would never look at that as a waste of money. ’cause I’m on vacation with some of my very best friends. So to me it was worth it, well worth it. Now, if someone were to invite me where maybe I didn’t really know the group of friends.
I only knew one person or it was to a place I wouldn’t really wanna go. I would just say no. so again, we all have our own kind of preferences with that. okay. This other one says
overly detailed dress codes with color schemes are unnecessary. yes and no. So I was talking to someone on the podcast recently about this, It’s kind of helpful to know sometimes now where they get very specific, like, everyone needs to wear a garden dress wearing only these three colors.
Yeah. Like, we don’t need to go out and spend more money. if I am going to a wedding, I’m usually gonna look in my closet and find something that already worn, but maybe fits the weather or the kind of location we’re going to. so let’s not ask people to spend more money. However, some people find it very useful if you’re giving them kind of.
A very basic. Idea of what to wear. we are all different. We are all different from what we look for. I think it can be helpful ‘ cause I’m that person googling the location. I’m trying to check out the weather, what other people are wearing there and other pictures like I am that person.
I think probably way too much about it. do I buy a new dress for every wedding? Absolutely not. Most of the time I will find a dress I have or borrow one from a friend. But that being said, I love a good detail to help me along the way. Okay, guys, into the story that you guys are all patiently or not so patiently waiting for.
I know it’s the favorite part. This is a long one, so that’s why I wanna get into it. All names have been changed, of course, and different story things have been moved around to, disguise the person. Right? and I forgot to mention this before, but my voice is scratchy. so this is after pre-launch weekend.
I randomly lost my voice. I don’t know if I was talking too much, probably.so it was completely gone for a few days. There. It’s slowly coming back, so I’m definitely gonna nurse it after this.
All right. Here’s this week’s story submission. This story spans the course of a couple years. Here we go, the Bride Pearl, her fiance, Greg, myself, Amy, my fiance, Steven Pearl’s brother Lars and his fiance Sadie, are all the main players in this drama. Okay. I’m already picturing this as a very detailed story, so here we go.
Pearl and Greg were engaged to be married, I was asked to be one of her bridesmaids. Their engagement was especially long because Pearl was working abroad in Japan for two years. Trying to plan anything with her was a nightmare. She didn’t want to be involved in the process at all. Wait, so the bride didn’t want to be involved in the process.
So at that point, I know I’m jumping the gun, but at that point, why are you doing a big wedding? You don’t need a wedding party. You don’t need to do this big wedding. If you don’t wanna be involved in planning your own wedding, either hire a wedding planner or Don’t do it. You don’t have to do that.
Craziness. she even admitted that she would’ve preferred a simple courthouse wedding, but reluctantly agreed to have a ceremony for Greg’s sake. So her fiance, once Pearl finally returned home, we had about six months until the wedding, so we kicked into planning mode. The only part she really cared about was the bachelorette party.
She Wanted the Vegas Treatment — But We Had to Pay
She’s a big partier. She wanted a big, elaborate weekend in Vegas. Four nights in a hotel, a show every night, a club crawl and a spa day. Okay. So we were kind of just talking about bachelor, bachelorette parties. Right? How they can be over the top. Again, if I was going all my best friends and I wanted to do this, I would go along for it, obviously to support and celebrate my best friend.
But I always find it interesting when they want. The top of the top, all the things like four shows in Vegas, four nights in a hotel, a club crawl, and a spot. Eight. That is expensive. I mean, I haven’t been to Vegas in years, but just quickly add things up. Depending on the weekend, I mean, you’re looking at a few thousand dollars, right?
depending on what everything looks like. Here we go. The issue, the budget, no one she invited had even half the amount of money needed for that kind of trip, and she expected everyone toto cover her costs in full. The maid of honor, Connie did her best to plan something we could all afford, but after weeks of being shut down on every compromise, she passed the baton to another bridesmaid.
So her maid of honor is essentially like, Hey, look, this isn’t gonna work out. Like. No one can afford it. Let’s try this. And she’s like, Nope, you’re not doing a good job. Let’s have another bridesmaid planet. Like what? The final Bachelorette weekend still included a hotel in Vegas, paid for by Pearl’s ant a drag brunch a bar crawl in downtown Vegas.
We did our best with what we had, and it ended up being a fun weekend. Except Pearl Pouted the entire time she cried in the bar bathroom. Not once, not twice, but three times. Now, obviously we don’t know why she’s crying. My guess is it wasn’t to her standard maybe. But here’s the thing. If there’s someone that wants this extra grand thing that no one can afford, she’s never gonna be happy.
You need to find happiness with those around you If I were with my best friends, just having a sleepover at someone’s house, that would be fun to me. I don’t need all these grand things. so this sounds like this person just wanted this huge thing, kept comparing herself. I. On the wedding day, Pearl and Greg were completely standoffish with the bridal party, even though we had bent over backward to accommodate them.
She skipped the original dress rehearsal, then rescheduled for a day when most people weren’t available, only to get mad when half of us couldn’t come. Oh my gosh. Wait, so this is for the dress rehearsal. Wait, so we’re talking about the rehearsal before the wedding. I’m so confused. Okay. On the day of the wedding, we were told for the first time that we’d be decorating the venue.
Blame Party
Oh gosh. With only four hours left before the ceremony and needing to get dressed and take photos. So literally the day after, she’s like, by the way, I need you guys to decorate this whole place for me. here’s the decorations, have fun. And they’re like, wait. We still have to get ready and get all this stuff together.
this is definitely a type B or C bride as you wanna call it. She didn’t wanna do the planning herself, so she left it up to everybody else, and that’s just not fair. Like I said from the beginning, if you are a bride or groom and you do not wanna plan anything, either get a day of coordinator, wedding planner, or don’t have a big wedding.
Because at the end of the day, it’s not fair to your bridal party or wedding party to do this for you. They’re not the ones getting married. They can be there helping and support you, but do not put this on them. Connie and I ended up doing shots in the bridal suite just to cope with the chaos.
Despite all of that, the ceremony went smoothly and guests seemed to have a great time. But afterward, Pearl and Greg told us that we ruined their wedding. What That sparked a long, drawn out, falling out. So they’re putting all the pressure on their wedding party to make it this amazing wedding when literally it’s their wedding.
You cannot blame the wedding party for doing that. ‘ cause as the bride and groom, it is your day. It’s your job to organize everything or find someone that will organize it, not your wedding party. And if that fails, that’s on you. Two months later, Steven and I got engaged. Most of our friends were thrilled for us except Pearl.
She was visibly jealous and made comments like, why is everyone so excited for them? No one was that excited for us, which wasn’t true. And Why is everyone helping with their wedding when no one helped us? Also not true. So she’s doing that victim mentality. She’s thinking her wedding sucked, so you know what?
Everyone’s out to get me. When in reality they all were helping. But she literally said she didn’t want anything to do with the planning the wedding. So she’s putting it all on her friends for how her wedding day turned out.
Things escalated when she found out. We had invited Pamela, someone she had unresolved issues with. I. Pamela is a close friend of Steven’s. I had several conversations with Pearl about it and even offered to make some accommodations, like seating them on opposite sides of the room or ensuring that she was surrounded by friends.
I even offered to uninvite them. She refused to tell me what she needed. So ultimately nothing changed. So that’s the thing. It’s like it’s hard when you have two friends that don’t get along. However, you can’t dictate who someone else invites their wedding, so you can choose yourself like, Hey, I’m not gonna go, but you can’t get mad that they’re still friends with someone.
Obviously, there’s always complicated and different reasons for things, but it’s not your place to tell ’em who to invite. One night at a Bar Pearl Completely drunk, cornered me and interrogated me about why Pamela was invited why I hadn’t made her a bridesmaid. Even though I asked Connie, I got away that night, but the next day we had a five hour text conversation.
Five hours. Oh my gosh. I don’t think I’d have a five hour text conversation with anybody. That sounds exhausting. Why? Oh my gosh. I finally set a boundary and said I wouldn’t talk about it anymore. Pearl and Greg pulled their R Rs VP. I thought that would be the end of it. Can you imagine? That is crazy. So they’re just mad about their own wedding day, not being what they wanted.
Uninvited. Excluded. And Still She Made It About Her.
And because they can’t take the responsibility themselves that you know what? They let it slip through their fingers. They’re gonna blame everybody else. Okay, she says Wrong. Over the next four months, Pearl and Greg excluded Steven and me from events, harassed our mutual friends and gave people ultimatums.
If they attended our wedding, they’d no longer be friends. Can you imagine? Oh my gosh. So it’s like just what I said, how you can only control yourself. You can’t control someone else has at their wedding or where other people want to go. So these just sound like very nasty people to me. The group was exhausted by their drama.
Our entire friend group was split. I was convinced Pearl would show up uninvited to my wedding and just cause a scene, but thankfully she didn’t. After our wedding, Lars and Sadie got engaged. Everyone in the group got an invite except Steven and me. Whoa. I expected that. Considering Lars is Pearl’s brother.
Okay. What I didn’t expect. Was for Pearl and Greg to privately message people asking them not to attend Sadie’s wedding because they were uncomfortable. Wait,
oh my gosh. So they asked people to not attend the wedding. oh my gosh. These people are just miserable. Pearl also made herself the unofficial wedding planner. Wait. Someone that didn’t wanna plan her own wedding was complaining about things and pushing it off on her wedding party. Wants to be the unofficial wedding planner.
Okay. And started making decisions without consulting the couple, for example, she changed the rehearsal dinner from the Mexican restaurant. Lars and City loved to an Italian place just because it offered free wine. No, no, no, no, no, no. The kicker, the reception the next day was also serving Italian food.
but I’m also wondering how do you let someone just change everything? I’m not saying it’s them like their fault, but like when I was planning different things, no one could just call a restaurant, the restaurant and be like. Okay. Random person I haven’t talked to before, like they’d be like, oh, is this the brighter groom?
No. Okay, then sorry, you can’t change it. Plus the Brighter groom is the one that’s like putting together RSVPs or invites to, the rehearsal dinner or texting people. So that’s very interesting that they just kinda like let her make all these changes. She also planned a huge expensive bachelorette weekend when Sadie had just wanted a nice dinner and a video game night.
While we weren’t invited to the wedding itself, Steven and I were invited to the after party. I chose not to go. I had no doubt Pearl would cause a scene. She says, so maybe take some creative license and show what would’ve happened if I had gone. Thanks again. I left out a bunch of little details, but feel free to reach out if you have any questions.
Oh my gosh. It never ceases to amaze me when people just. Can’t take accountability themselves. From the beginning, it sounds like this girl wanted nothing to do with her wedding, and instead of hiring someone to help her, she decided to put it all on her wedding party. Now I’ve seen a lot of weddings and I’ve been a part of a lot of weddings where the wedding party.
Helps put everything together, but that’s been like known from the beginning and it’s a team effort, right? You can’t just be like bride putting your feet up and expecting everyone to do everything around you. You have to be very clear with communication, and it sounds like this girl from the beginning was just unhappy and just wanted to complain about things, so that’s terrible.
Oh my gosh. That was a crazy story. All right guys. Well thanks for hanging out with me today as a reminder. My new book and ignore this, this is my proof right here if you guys are watching the video, but. My new book. Here comes The Drama. A Ferris and Sloan story is out today. if you guys wanna look exactly different places you can find it.
Go to krista ennis.com/book. We’ll also have all the links in the show notes as well, so you can check it out. and of course, don’t forget to tag me at Party Planning by Christa videos, pictures. I wanna see what you’re doing when you read the book. I wanna see you opening up the package. I wanna see you holding the book in front of your face, whatever that looks like.
Tag me and I will be sharing it, um, on my page as well. and of course, leave a review as it helps so many people see the book, hear about the book. and I’m just so excited for you guys to read it. I just, I’m nervous, excited. It’s like putting a baby out into the world.
I’ve worked so hard at it and I’m just so excited for you guys to read it. All right guys. That’s all I have for this week. Um, thanks for tuning in. Bye now.
Bridesmaid Demotions, SIL Drama & Tough Boundaries with my MOH!
What happens when your vision for the perfect wedding collides with reality?
In this episode, I sit down with my best friend and matron of honor, Ivette, for a candid and hilarious conversation about the highs and lows of wedding planning.
From juggling family expectations to incorporating meaningful cultural traditions, Ivette shares how she navigated the chaos of planning her wedding while staying true to her values. We also dive into some of the wildest wedding hot takes submitted by listeners—prepare for strong opinions and unfiltered reactions!
Whether you’re a bride-to-be, a bridesmaid, or just love a good wedding story, this episode is packed with relatable moments, laughs, and real talk about what truly matters on the big day.
Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month!
Episode Chapter Markers
00:00 Introduction
02:40 Wedding Memories and Friendship
06:55 Wedding Planning Stress and Traditions
11:21 Hot Takes and Wedding Drama
28:37 Wedding Planning Chaos Begins
29:13 Bridesmaid Drama Unfolds
31:44 Family Tensions and Wedding Demands
43:58 The Wedding and Aftermath
Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments
- The Reality of Wedding Planning – Ivette opens up about the stress of balancing her dream wedding with family pressures.
- Bringing Culture Into the Celebration – How Ivette honored her heritage through unique wedding traditions.
- Hosting a Full House – The chaos (and comedy) of accommodating 11 guests in a tiny apartment.
- Wedding Hot Takes – Christa and Ivette react to bold listener opinions on cash bars, unplugged ceremonies, and more.
- The Bridesmaid Selection Dilemma – Do brides really choose bridesmaids based on skills and aesthetics?
- Setting Boundaries in Wedding Planning – Ivette’s take on standing firm against outside expectations.
- What Really Matters on the Big Day – The moments that made Ivette’s wedding truly unforgettable.
Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode
- “Weddings are supposed to be about love, but somehow, they always bring out the drama.” – Christa Innis
- “Your wedding is YOURS—no one else’s opinion should dictate your day.” – Christa Innis
- “Bridesmaids should be chosen based on friendship, not just talent or aesthetics.” – Christa Innis
- “A wedding guest list is not a free-for-all. Boundaries exist for a reason!” – Christa Innis
- “At the end of the day, no one remembers the little details—only how they felt celebrating with you.” – Christa Innis
- “I wanted my wedding to reflect who I was, not just what looked good on Instagram.” – Ivette
- “Family is important, but you can’t let their expectations take over your wedding.” – Ivette
- “The stress of planning is real, but the love and support of your people make it worth it.” – Ivette
- “Bridesmaids should stand beside you in life, not just in photos.” – Ivette
About Ivette
Ivette is a mommy, a wife, and a psychotherapist in training. She loves girl talk and giving unsolicited advice. She’s all about conversations that matter because she believes people matter. She was also Christa’s Maid of Honor in her wedding.
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Blog Transcript:
Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Christa Innis: All right. I’m so excited for the episode today. And I wanted things to be a little less formal because I have one of my very best friends, Ivette here, who just so happened to also be the matron of honor in my wedding. And so I thought it would be more of just like it. A fun hangout session because we’re busy moms and this is how we hang out these days on zoom call.
Ivette: and I knew that we were going to do this and I was like, we need to have a drink because we just need to relax, enjoy ourselves and have fun.
Christa Innis: Seriously, I know. I feel like we actually need to just start scheduling these because it’s just so hard to get together with everyone’s schedules and the kids.
It’s just like, right now, both our kids or all our kids, I should say are in bed because that’s just like perfect time to just. Exactly.
Ivette: Yes.
Christa Innis: What are you drinking today, Ivette? Margarita.
Ivette: It’s my go to. You can never go wrong with tequila. You make a
Christa Innis: good margarita. I know and I’m like, that sounds so good.
I’m drinking some wine. this is not sponsored but a brand sent me this. It’s called Grazi wines, right? And it’s really delicious. It’s a rose. It’s a rose. Yeah. It’s like no sugar added, but it’s a boxed wine. I don’t know. That really sounds like it’s sponsored. I swear to God it’s not sponsored. but anyways, cheers.
Cheers to hanging out. All
Ivette: right, let’s get into it. Virtual hangout reminds me of our COVID hangouts.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. It’s so funny you said that because I was just looking at pictures because I was like, Oh, I want to do a little post that I’m going to have you on the podcast. And I was like, Oh my gosh, 2020 we had like weekly virtual, like game nights.
Yeah. It, like, changed everything.
Ivette: I know. Thank God that you, like, would set that up with not just us, but other people, because I was just going stir crazy.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Same. was mostly Zach. Like, he’d be like, we need to, like, call people. And then once that started, we’d be like, yeah, let’s, like, get this going.
So I feel like we would call you guys. We’d call, like, my cousin in Texas. Like, we had, like, a little group going, and it was so great to connect with people because it was like, you couldn’t go anywhere.
Ivette: I’m like Zach’s sister was on too and like we were all just hanging out. Yeah. Yeah.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Ivette: Good times.
Christa Innis: Yeah, we needed that. Oh my gosh, I’m so glad you said that. Like, bring me back. Someone posted something about 2020 Today and they’re like, isn’t that crazy to think that was half a decade ago? And I was like, no.
Ivette: That’s wild.
Christa Innis: I feel like so much has happened since then, but the same time that feels like yesterday.
Ivette: Yeah, same, but also so many lifetimes ago, you’re right.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I feel like that’s just how life goes now. Alright, before we get too far into it, can you just tell everyone a little bit about you and like, what you do? You’re like, oh my gosh, pressure. yeah. I mean, I feel like there’s like, there’s so much to know, and, but just Okay, so I thought about this,
Ivette: and Okay, I’m going to start it like this.
So for those of you that don’t know me, no, I, I’m joking. for Christa’s wedding, I was like, that was how I started my speech. I said, you know, I asked my husband for all this advice on how to start my speech. And he’s like, whatever you do, don’t start it with for those of you that don’t know me.
And so I did that. but yeah, I mean, I met Christa through my husband, who’s actually her husband’s friend. And he was the Best man in their wedding. And then Zach was the best man in our wedding. but yeah, I’m currently a mom of two. I’m a grad student about to graduate in eight weeks. and yeah, I think I’m a really authentic, real person.
. I like to be vulnerable and get to know people and so I’m not really good with surface level conversations. I like to get deep and get to know people. So
Christa Innis: yeah are that person that like we I feel like that’s when we like started connecting is when we’re like Oh, we love these one on one conversations Like we would just get lost in conversations like it didn’t matter what was going on around us
Ivette: Yeah,
Christa Innis: and we would like it literally went from like us Knowing each other to very like very service level, knowing each other to like in distance.
Like we’d be like, oh, okay. Hi Eva. Hi Christa. And then all of sudden we’re like, bam. Like we’d be texting all the time when we see each other. We’d be like these deep conversations. And then it was just, the rest
Ivette: is, like, I felt like you were my partner in crime for like a good amount of time before the babies came.
Like for sure.
Christa Innis: Yes.
Ivette: And like, yeah.
Christa Innis: I feel like those last few years before. Like COVID, and then like, obviously doing our virtual calls a lot during 2020. Those years, like, really, like, brought us together, I feel like, and now, like, we were just saying, now it’s been, like, years. I mean, because I, probably first met you when Zach and I first got together, which was 11 years ago now, which is crazy.
Or almost, going on
Ivette: 11, going on 12, I don’t know. Yes. I will, I still remember the day that I met you. Like, I will always remember the day that I met you. Which is so weird, because I tell people that. I’m like, isn’t it so crazy? I think I’ve told you this before. Like, it’s crazy to think that you always meet, like, you always remember, like, the important people in your life.
Like, I remember meeting you. I remember meeting Matt. I remember meeting, like, some of my other best friends. And, like, anyone else, it’s like, I don’t really remember. But I, like, Remember like what people are wearing and so yeah,
Christa Innis: yeah, like those vivid moments that stick in your mind Yeah, no, that’s funny.
LikeI don’t know. feel like the same way I was just looking back at like Wedding photos too when I was like picking out stuff and I was like, oh my gosh like even that like for my wedding I feel so long ago And yeah, just all the craziness since then okay, before I get too, like, blabby because Y makes me chat a lot, so I’m gonna slurp.
Ivette: Not going to lie. I may have had like a tiny little shot to keep up.
Christa Innis: Hey girl, this is moms after dark. I mean, I know when this episode comes out, I’ll come out in the morning. But if you guys, if you’re listening and you don’t listen to it till later have a glass of wine with us, have a margarita with us, drink a choice of coffee, you know, what have you just run like let loose and hang out a little bit.
so Let’s get into crazy stories and some wedding hot takes, but I kind of want to switch it up a little bit, like Talking about your own wedding. I know I don’t like saying Oh throw people under the bus. No, I’m not saying that I’m talking about your own wedding. Like what was like the planning experience for you?
like I know you were really stressed during your wedding planning and that was like A lot. You kind of, you talked about having a lot on your plate at that time. So like, what’s something like unforgettable about your own wedding experience that you kind of just like held on to? like good, you were saying?
I brought up the stress, but like, yeah, like what kind of like was your planning like? And then like looking back, you’re like memories that you held onto about it.
Building a Wedding with Purpose
Ivette: So, yeah, I think planning was really stressful because I really wanted to, like, stick to my values and be like, okay, this is what I want, this is what I like, but also, like, more importantly, I wanted to build a foundation for my marriage, and I wanted the people that I feel like helped Change my life for the better or we’re like really important into like my pivotal story of like this is who we’ve at Was this is who I am now I am like proud to be this person this woman entering into marriage And I want those people to like stand beside me not just to come to my wedding but to be like listen I support you through any season in your marriage, right?
That’s super important to me And so I think I was stressed out because so many of those people Don’t live in our state. They live in other countries. They live in the U. S. But maybe they live on the West Coast, right? or even the East Coast. So for me, it was really stressful to get everyone together at the same time and make sure that they were, like, taken care of.
Like I could take care of them the way that they’ve taken care of me, so I think that’s, that was really, like stressful and then of course, you remember, like, we had our apartment in Chicago and I think there was like 11 people staying at our place, like, we had a one bedroom apartment in Chicago and it was like body after body after body, like just anyone sleep anywhere, you know, like during our wedding season, so that was intense.
Um, like the
Christa Innis: epitome of Ivette, like you, I remember specifically, there was like one moment in all the craziness where it was just you and me like in your apartment and you were like Really worried about like pleasing everyone around you and I was like just take a breather It’s your wedding. You should enjoy and you’re like but Christa There’s people from everywhere and we like to have a moment.
I was just taking it like it’s okay But you’re like you were hosting so many people and I like when you say it that way, too. It’s like people are flying from another country or from another side of the country And so you put a lot of pressure on yourself.
It’s very normal.
Ivette: Yeah and then I think the biggest takeaway is like, I am bilingual. I speak Spanish and English and I wanted every single person at my wedding to feel like they were seen and like. understand like, Oh, this is a part of me. Like, so just being very true and then very true to myself.
And then also like, it’s so sweet when you get to have, like, I’m sure you remember your wedding, like every single person that has ever like, meant anything to you. Like that’s like the sweetest thing in the world. And so I think that’s just like the biggest takeaway. I’m like, can we renew our vows just so that all these, you know, our favorite people are together again.
Cause That’s so special. Yeah,
Christa Innis: one of my favorite things about your wedding as like a guest was all the like Cultural and traditional things you kind of like brought in together and just made it your own Like there are certain things that you guys did that I’d never seen at weddings before which I was like, this is so fun This is so cool.
Like, can you explain some of the things that you guys did at your wedding? Like was like the bridge thing, right?
Ivette: oh, oh, yeah, so there’s just like Mexican traditions that we wanted to incorporate into our wedding, and we just, it’s just been passed down through generations, and I really don’t really, I don’t know what they mean, I was just like, oh, I’ve seen this done time after time, and I don’t know what the meaning is, but it’s important to, like, follow those traditions, and, be true to my roots kind of thing, and so, um,
Christa Innis: Oh, I love that.
That was like one thing I couldn’t stop talking about. I was like, it was so beautiful and unique to like you and your story. And I thought that was just like, it was really cool.
Ivette: Yeah, you’re talking about the, it’s called La Vibra de la Mar, which is like, everyone lines up and hold hands and you like, the groom is, Um, and he’s standing either like on a chair or being held by his groomsman and then the bride’s on the other side and then he’s like holding up her veil and everyone’s like running like through the gas, like holding hands, like really, really fast and then the music speeds up.
You keep running faster and faster and people are tripping or losing their shoes or falling over everywhere. And so, yeah, yeah, it’s a really fun tradition that we do. And there’s a couple of dances that we do as well, like country style dances that we do, line dances.
And so, yeah.
Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s
Ivette: awesome.
Christa Innis: I love that. All right, let’s get into some hot takes. So these are opinions, some very strong that people send me on Instagram. We’re just gonna react to them together, and just give me your first reactions. Okay, first one is, all lettings should be unplugged.
Ivette: Oh, okay, this is hard. Okay, I agree. I agree, but being a mom, I’m like, oh, that’s hard. Like, have your phone for, like, emergencies. But I don’t need people, like, taking pictures or recording, because, like, I paid for a photographer and a videographer, and I want you to, like, enjoy the moment. You know, yes.
Christa Innis: yeah, I don’t see unplugged as like, we’re gonna have you turn in your phone and lock it in a box, heard of like very extreme, you know, places doing that. But yeah, like, turn your phone off and make sure like, you know how to turn it on silent. Or like to vibrate because I can’t tell you the number of weddings I’ve been to where there’s signs literally and people announce it and you still see people with their iPad or their phone and I’m like, no, don’t do it.
Ivette: Yeah. That’s so much worse. I do hate that. yeah, I just, be present. I’m all about being present.
Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. And chances are as good as the iPhone photos are, the photographer is still going to be 10 times better. Okay, next one says if you are going to have a cash bar, just don’t even have one.
Ivette: Oh, like the gas bill? No, no, no, no, no. No, like they’re your guests. This is like your event. It’s not like you’re doing like, I don’t know, backyard barbecue. No. Oh, like, I feel like you should, pay for the guests or
Christa Innis: something
Ivette: like
Christa Innis: that. So this person says that if you’re planning on having a cash bar, you might as well just not even have one because I think they’re like agreeing.
You should have a bar like an open bar.
Ivette: Yeah, 100%.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I agree I was just telling a story so sorry to people listening if I just told us on a podcast episode Or if it’s coming out soon, but I was at a wedding once where it was open until like 8 p. m. But they didn’t tell anyone. They switched it.
So I remember Zach and I going up to the bar and he ordered drinks and the lady was like, 10 bucks or 15 bucks. And he’s like, Oh, I thought it was open. And they’re like, Oh, it’s switched to cash at eight. And they didn’t announce it or anything. And yeah. Was I at this wedding with you? Cause I feel like I’ve been to this too.
Like I don’t think so. So when Zach and I first started dating years ago. Oh, okay. Those poor people listening are like, oops. No, they want to be listening.
Ivette: Okay. I feel like I’ve been to a wedding like that too, but I feel like I knew that was going to happen. They’re like, okay, like, open bars, closed.
Now it’s like, you know. Yeah. Poor kind of thing.
Christa Innis: My thing is too, it’s like, There’s different levels for what you can afford, obviously. And so I’ve been to all kinds where there’s like, I’ve never, I don’t think I’ve ever been to a hundred percent cash bar. I think I’ve been to ones that are just wine and beer.
And I think that’s great. if only in your budget, you can fit wine and beer and. Like seltzers or like, some kind of pop drinks or whatever non alcoholic. I think that’s great. I do think there should be some kind of beverage that’s offered. That’s Yeah,
I don’t know what I get and there’s also different levels of how formal someone wants their wedding, I get it sometimes that that’s the vibe But yeah, I’m all for I knew I wanted that was like something in my budget I was like, I want an open bar.
Ivette: Yeah, if you’re like getting married at the Drake In downtown Chicago and you’re like having people pay for their drinks. That’s a problem. But like if you know, you’re more conservative and like, Not as wild with your money, then it makes sense. Like, okay, we’re gonna just have like the basic stuff and that I
Christa Innis: totally agree with but Yeah.
Okay. This last one says some bridesmaids are only chosen for their talents or aesthetic. Is this a saying or drink?
Ivette: Yes. Yeah, I didn’t choose bridesmaids because of this, but I have friends who I feel like may have been chosen for this reason. And it’s like, they have the skills, the equipment, that kind of thing. Mm hmm. Yeah.
Crafty or Convenient? The Truth About Bridesmaid Selection
Christa Innis: I feel like I’d be really careful what I say sometimes.
There have been times I’ve felt in the past where I was chosen because I’m very crafty. I’m a crafty girl. I love my crafts. You give me a project. I will. I won’t. ever do like a C minus job. I will do that A plus job. I will give extra effort. And so there’s been a time or two that I was a bridesmaid that I was like, should I have been a bridesmaid?
I don’t know. And it all was great. It was great. But, I think just sometimes you have to really think about down the line or even at that time, like who you want by your side. Not for what they can offer you, but like your relationship to them. i feel like it’s complicated because everyone looks at it differently.
But I don’t know, it’s, I’ve also heard of people, and this is not anyone I know personally, just through stories that people have sent me, it’s just like, they’ll be asked to be in a wedding, and they’re kind of like, they kind of ask themselves, like, why am I a part of this? Like, you don’t even try to be my friend outside of the wedding planning.
so I’ve seen that happen a lot, where they’re more questioning, like, do you just want someone by your side? Whereas
Ivette: I’ve actually had that happen to me before. Yeah, where, Okay. It was like my partner. It was like clear that they were meant to be in the wedding and this person asked me to be in the wedding and it was like, are you sure?
Like, we were both kind of like, why would she ask? Like, it was just really strange. And, you know, of course I said yes. but yeah, it just didn’t fit well. And then of course our friendship isn’t. Yeah.
Christa Innis: I know that’s interesting how that works with, like, it’s almost like a precursor maybe.
Ivette: It’s like, he has 10 people, I have 8 friends, I need 2 more people.
Christa Innis: I need to add somebody. Yes. Yeah. No, I totally see that. Yeah, that’s interesting how that works when you kind of look back and you’re like, Okay, maybe that’s why. I will say, the majority of the times that I was a bridesmaid, it was like, I kind of had expected it. That being said, like, if you were asked today, or do you feel like, I feel like most of your friends are married or, like, committed, like, do you feel like at this point you would be in any other weddings?
Or if someone were to ask you, do you feel like you’re better at saying no if it wasn’t the right fit?
Ivette: I think, okay, so I have a few friends and family members who are still going to get married and I know for a fact that I would say yes. I would have to find a really good excuse for someone who is like a little bit more than a friend kind of thing because that’s just who I am.
It’s like, I’ve always told people like if you mean something, if we’ve had like a relationship in my life, Life like I will never forget you like I will have your back You can call me like 10 years later if we’ve lost touch, you know that kind of thing So I’m just a sucker that way So I want to say like because I’m a mom and I’m busy now and like work stuff Like I would it would be easier for me to say no at the same time I am a people pleaser a little bit which I’m working on.
Christa Innis: So I had to beg you to say no to me, even like when you were doing stuff for my wedding. I remember you had so much going on, just different things that would come up. And I’d be like, Ivette, it’s okay if you can’t come to the bachelorette party. It’s okay if you can’t do this. Like I was like, you’re like, I’m going to be there.
And I was like. Okay, but like, I know the pressure’s not coming from me. Oh, no. No. But I know, it’s hard, because there are people like that, and you put an expectation on yourself. I’m the exact same way when I’m a part of the wedding. okay. I warned you before we got on, but I have a story for this week, and it’s a little long, so I want to jump right in.
if we haven’t been chatting for like, I don’t even know what time I got on. 20 minutes? I don’t feel free to stop me at any point. This week’s story submission. I only saw the beginning and then we’re just gonna go from there. Okay, it says, phew, this may be petty, but this story needs to be told.
My sister in law, let’s call her Lizzie, was a narcissistic Nightmare of a Bride, and she and my brother don’t speak to my family anymore because of her insane wedding drama. Not exaggerating, they have now not spoken to me in over two years and claim to have cut me out of their lives fully and forever with no explanation.
I’m sure you’ll think I’m the crazy one because of that, but hear me out. Let me first say I will not think you’re the crazy one because I, especially through receiving all these stories. There are three sides to every story, and I’m sure you know this in your line of work, like, you can only, like, hear so much and just absorb, you know, what you’re being told, right?
I mean, I don’t want to read into things, but yeah.
Ivette: I’m also such, like, a devil’s advocate, though, so I’m always like, well, we’ll What about this or what about that? I’m like, you know, yeah, sorry to whoever said this, but yes, I am. I’m here to listen I mean, I
Christa Innis: agree with you though, too. I feel like when I first started sharing stories, people would get like, I shouldn’t say people for the most part, people like the stories, but everyone’s gonna be like, you only talk about mother in laws.
How about you talk about mother of the bride? And I was like, well, yeah, Fun fact mother in law could be of the bride or the groom, but okay, and they were just getting offended and I was like well, I try to say stories about all kinds of people related to the story, but I just, the most, most of the stories I get just happen to be from brides.
so now I try to look at it in a lens of like, okay, what are the other details I’m getting? Because sometimes I read a story, I’m like, oh, that’s not, not the best. Not the best looking, but okay. she says I’m the oldest of three siblings. My sister, Cassie is in the middle. These are all fake names.
my brother, Max is the youngest. My brother, Max, and his now wife, Lizzie started dating in college. They’re young in their mid twenties at this point and started talking about getting married in 2020 and planning their wedding before they got engaged, which I thought was a bit weird, but whatever, no harm, no foul until My sister Cassie fell in love with her now husband, oh, Alex, the same year, 2020.
My sister Cassie and her man Alex are in their mid 30s, so they’re older and ready to start their lives together, buy a house, and start a family. They get engaged in the spring of 2021 and tell our whole family they’re planning to get married in a year, March 2022. Yay! We’re so excited for them. Or so I thought.
The Engagement Jealousy That Started It All
Christa Innis Okay. The next thing I know, I get a call from my younger brother, Max, who is not engaged to Lizzie at this point. They’re still just dating, but he’s upset. He tells me Lizzie has been inconsolable, crying and depressed in bed for three days because my sister got engaged first.
Oh my gosh.
Ivette: Yeah.
This is hard. This is hard. That sucks. Sorry. Like, why would that mean anything to you? Yes. Like this, you should be happy. You should be happy for them. Like, that is a really big red flag if you’re like, Uh, I didn’t get engaged first. Like, what about me? Like, I’ve paid my time. No, like, these people are happy.
They’re older. you don’t know if they want to have kids, right? Like, you don’t know what their plan is. Maybe they’re more financially established. You don’t really know. So I feel like if you’re looking forward to getting married and being a part of someone’s family, you should be happy when they reach their milestones too.
And when, The siblings get engaged. Like, why would you make it about yourself?
Christa Innis: I know. Especially because they’re not even engaged at this point. Like, and even if they were, like, us and we’re engaged at the same time. Like, I don’t get the competitive, like, back and forth. Like, that was a similar story I just shared about a girl, like, demanded to be engaged before her, they were dating brothers.
Demand to be engaged before her. And this was like a true story. Someone sent me and it’s just like, I just don’t get that.
Ivette: my sister in law and her husband now they have been dating forever. You actually went to high school with them. But my husband and I, Matt, we actually got engaged before them and.
She asked me like, is it okay if we get married, whatever date, like, which was before our wedding. And I was like, yeah, of course. Like, I really don’t care. Like, I’m happy for you. Like, what can I do to help you? You know? And it was so fun to be in the process together and be like, Oh, look at your ring, look at my ring.
And. What are you doing with this? And, oh, I might bounce that idea off of you, and, oh, that’s good for you, but I don’t like that style, and it was so fun to be a part of each other’s wedding, so.
Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s what people, I don’t get, because it’s like, then you have a fun, like, unit of, like, your family’s growing, like, now you have a sister, and, like, you know, you have someone you can call up, and, like, it’s the same with, like, When a mother in law gets angry or brother in law, whatever.
It’s like you’re just causing more of a barrier like wouldn’t you want I guess people that think like that don’t think down the line like We’re not gonna get along. I don’t know.
Ivette: Right? Oh, yeah, so I can really play devil’s advocate here
Christa Innis: Yeah, but the girl that Wrote this in is on their side
okay. So, and it was their wedding. Oh, and took their wedding year. She said, yes, the reader took their wedding year. I’m like, hang on, Max. What do you mean? It took your wedding year. You’re not even engaged yet. He says, well, we wanted to get married in 2022. And now Cassie is going to steal our thunder because she’s getting married before us.
I’m like, but you’re not even engaged yet, Max. That’s what I like. I had like two of my really good friends, two of my best friends got married the same year as me. And I was like, that’s so fun. Cause I’m thinking like 10, 20 years down the line, we’re the same anniversary year. Like let’s go on an anniversary trip.
Like, that’s the way I think.
Yeah. And you’re like going through all the seasons together. Like it just makes it so much more fun. Like a big party, I mean, I hear of two people getting mad too about pregnancies and stuff and I’m like, I love that. Like, yeah, that’s a thing. That is a thing.
I got a story where a girl was kicked out of the wedding because she announced her pregnancy and they were like, I don’t want you announcing stuff. Well, I mean, people are insane.
Ivette: Oh my goodness. They
Christa Innis: thought the pregnancy would take away too much attention from the bride. I was like If you really care about those people, you’d be celebrating them.
You’d be like, how can I make the day better for you? Because you’re pregnant at my wedding. I was
Ivette: I was pregnant at your wedding.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I was like, I had two pregnant bridesmaids and I thought it was so fun. And it’s so fun to look back at pictures and be like, Oh, like, I don’t know, just looking back at those memories.
Yeah. And then we get to like go through this chapter together with our kids, like.
Ivette: Mm hmm. Imagine like me being kicked out of the wedding because I was pregnant.
Christa Innis: I’m like, I, like what?
Ivette: Yeah, no. That
Christa Innis: needs to be researched in a deep way. I don’t know a laboratory somewhere where people think that way.
I’ll be part of my next psych research. Yes very niche I know she says I’m like, but you’re not even engaged yet max You haven’t proposed. You can’t expect our sister, who’s older than you, to put her life on hold because you guys called the wedding year 2022. It’s not like calling a shotgun.
He’s super hurt by me saying this, and said it’s important that you understand our hurt over this. I’ll be honest, I did not mince words, and maybe that was a mistake, but I said, I love you, but this is crazy. You’re an adult. Please be happy for a sister and stop making this about you. I think that’s pretty nice.
Yeah,
Ivette: and I’m honestly so shocked that this guy, like, bought into his girlfriend’s whatever she has going on, like, in her mind, this, like, game that she’s playing. Like, for you Just sit there and be like, no, my girlfriend’s right, like who you’ve been dating for, I don’t know, a couple years and you’ve known your sister your whole life.
Christa Innis: It’s like, really? Like, I don’t know. yeah, that’s just like a big red flag for me. Nope. Yeah, you wonder what manipulation is going on behind the scenes. What’s
Ivette: Gaslighting there for sure.
Christa Innis: Yes, like, oh, your family is terrible. Like, I’m no expert. I don’t know this stuff just from like seeing stories.
I’m like, if a person you’re dating is pulling you away from your family instead of like celebrating them, that’s It’s a red flag. that’s kind of like textbook, isn’t that? Yeah. Yeah.
Ivette: That’s not good.
Christa Innis: when you and Lizzie get engaged and married, we will be just as excited for you, she says.
For the next four months, my brother, Max, and his still girlfriend, Lizzie, proceed to have lengthy talks with my parents and us about how hurt they are about my sister’s engagement. Oh my gosh. And wedding planning. They say they do not feel cared for or validated in their pain. Cue gagging noises, she says.
Oh, it’s terrible. It’s just, they’re, I mean, and I hate to be like, oh, like, she said they’re 20s and then the older sister’s 30, so I don’t know, like, if that means, like, 23, 24. But they just, they sound very, like, they need to, like, live a little life. But I mean that someone in their 40s could act like that.
So I don’t really want to play the age game, but it just sounds very odd to just not all of a sudden not be happy for your sister because you’re supposed to get engaged first.
Ivette: Yeah, absolutely. And then still not being engaged and still complaining about it. Like it’s my wedding year, but you’re not even engaged still.
That makes no sense. Absolutely. It’s like,
Christa Innis: Okay, I’m going to read into it before we read a little bit further, but it’s almost like the brother doesn’t actually want to get engaged. The younger brother, right? So instead of like, the pressure being put on him, he’s going to turn it on his family and be like, Oh, can you believe that?
Well, now they’re taking your thunder, so I can’t. Because don’t you think if this happened and he really wanted to get engaged and married first, he would just propose?
Ivette: Yeah, he would have proposed like right away. And then set a wedding date before that. And then like beat them to the, yeah, I was just gonna say that.
And then like beat them to the, wedding date. Like. And said they’re just over here crying about it
Christa Innis: and not doing anything.
Ivette: he’s kind of a coward too.
Christa Innis: I think it’s. Him kind of pushing his feet in the sand or whatever the phrase is.
Ivette: No, it’s not that he’s being a coward. He’s like, I know the red flags and this is just giving me time.
Bridesmaid to ‘Special Guest’ in One Email
Christa Innis: Yes. Let’s direct it toward the anger towards my family and not me. Yes. That’s just the vibe I’m getting. My brother, Max, finally proposes to Lizzie in the fall of 2021, and they start planning their wedding for September 2022, six months after my sister’s wedding will take place.
Okay. For a while, everything is copacetic. I hope I’m pronouncing that right. And then Lizzie starts sending lengthy wedding planning emails that are insane. She starts off with me and my sisters as bridesmaids.
After that, I would not want to be her bridesmaid. Talking about, I don’t know. I guess it’s hard because it’s like you want to just like move forward. And so you’re probably your baby brother. So you’re like, let’s just make things work. But you know, things are going to be. Not great. Mm hmm. but pretty quickly, oh, pretty quickly demotes us to special guests.
Ivette: Oh my gosh, no. That
Christa Innis: might be the kindest thing she’s ever done for me, she says. She wants us to attend a bachelorette weekend, a wedding shower, an engagement party weekend, and the wedding. All separate weekends and all flying out. That’s a lot. That’s terrible.
Ivette: That is. Yes. For her to first be like, yeah, I want you to be a bridesmaid.
Like where, in your timeline of like being a part of this family, do you see that being a good thing? Do you see them saying, yes, I would’ve, that I would’ve been like, no. , no. and then to be demoted, like to demote them? I can’t believe that. I can’t believe that. Like, how do you even have that conversation with them?
You’re
Christa Innis: a special guest now, so you just get like a badge or something. Like, what does that mean? But yet, she still wants them to attend four different things and fly out for all of them.
Ivette: Still come, still pay for everything, still make me the center of attention.
Christa Innis: Yes. Oh my gosh, and she’s probably that kind of bride, like, even if you have like a white speck on your dress, she’s like, change.
Don’t have any white anywhere near you.
Ivette: You can’t have white shoes. No way. You can’t. I don’t even know if you’re like dresses poofier than hers. You’re out. You’re out.
Christa Innis: I was just telling someone how my cousin Jasmine, how when we were out at the bachelorette party, she had a shirt that had like white flowers on it.
And she was like, I won’t wear it. I’m so sorry. And I was like, Jasmine, you can wear that. I literally, you could literally put a white shirt on right now. What? I was there. I know. I didn’t know if you were like, during that conversation, but I was just like, Oh yeah.
Ivette: Yeah. I think we were all like looking at ourselves in the mirror and then she like noticed it.
And then that’s when you guys had like, Oh, that’s,
Christa Innis: yeah. Right
Ivette: before we were leaving.
Christa Innis: I don’t care.
Ivette: you could tell her like her whole outfit could be white and it would be fine.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I was like, I would have been like, yeah, we’re both the brides. I literally don’t care. I’m just happy everyone’s here. And I’m like, and I’m someone too, where it’s like, I, to multiple people, I was like, don’t feel like you have to come to everything or any of it.
Obviously, the wedding’s the most important. So if you can’t make it to a shower or bachelorette, I’m fine. Like, Two or three people couldn’t come to the bachelorette. And I was like, that’s totally fine. Like, people that were in the wedding. And it was like, we moved on. We did our own thing. It was all good.
Like, to put pressure That’s the thing is like, everyone’s different. But like, to put pressure on people. Like, you have to come. Spend all this money. And That’s where people get stressed out. And I’m like, I’m more excited about people just being by my side at the wedding. That was the biggest thing for me.
She says, okay. I’m like, girl, again, I love you, but I don’t have the money to fly out for four separate events. I can come to two of these. Plus, my sister’s getting married too, so I’ve got her bachelorette and wedding, remember? Which kind of would take precedence, would think. Yikes. Shouldn’t have mentioned that.
We immediately start getting lectured. Lizzie tells us, we told everyone that your sister’s wedding would steal our thunder and look, see, we can’t have the wedding we want because of your sister’s wedding. But it’s like, either way, you are asking people to fly out to four events. Like, that is insane.
Ivette: Yeah.
And then for, I just can’t believe that she’s like, see, like, it’s taking away from my wedding. Like, it’s Get over yourself. I’m over this girl. I’m over her. I’m over
Christa Innis: her. It’s so, like, this is why there’s the name Bridezilla, because of this bride, and I hate that because, like, so many times it’s, like, a nice bride that just has a boundary, and it’s like, okay.
No, she’s not a bridezilla, but this is like, no, like everyone bowed down to me. It’s my year. I own the whole year. And it’s like, no, that’s not how it works.
Ivette: No, I’m out. I don’t like her. Yeah.
Christa Innis: And also to like be in the mind of the bride who’s already having issues, you know, with everything. why would you want the sisters to be at your bachelorette party if you don’t like them so much?
Where’s that?
Ivette: Yes. That perspective. Perfect. Like, yeah. It’s like, they’re doing you a favor. Like, by getting married around the same time. It’s like, thank you, yes, perfect.
Christa Innis: Yeah, so you can be with your friends. And I just, I don’t get it. okay, it says, Lizzie and Max continue to rag us about this.
Including the week of my sister’s wedding. With long, ridiculous emails about how they feel abandoned by the family. Because not everyone can attend every single one of their expensive destination events. I wish I was joking and I wish I could copy verbatim the email they sent to my immediate family five days before my sister got married about their hurt feelings.
Also not to mention they’re getting married six months after the other sister. That’s plenty of time to then focus on them, right? Like it’s not like they’re getting married the week after.
Ivette: Literally start sending save the dates right after the wedding. Yeah. Like, yeah, shouldn’t even overlap at all.
Christa Innis: No, that’s plenty of time away from each other.
They’re literally, can you imagine demanding someone to pay attention to you the whole year? Like, this is my year, nothing else can happen.
Ivette: yeah, I don’t, have friends like that, thank God. I don’t think I could be friends with someone like that. No,
Christa Innis: no. It makes me wonder, I mean, how, maybe she only has the sisters.
Because she doesn’t have friends. Yeah, I don’t know. That’s rough. she said they even requested that my sister not speak about her wedding at any of their wedding events. I feel the need to insert here that my sister Cassie is very down to earth, unfussy, lovely and intelligent college professor.
She is not a diva. She never makes things about herself. Or makes herself the center of attention. So the fact that they even felt upstaged by her is truly a masterclass in security. This girl should be a writer. I love this like image. I was going to say that like, she’s so insecure. I think it’s probably too.
It’s like the fact, like the way she just described her older sister, the younger girlfriend or now fiance sounds very. intimidated, almost. Like, oh, they’ve got, like, their stuff together, she’s intelligent, but it’s like Maybe you can just like look up to her. Maybe pick apart a couple like things that you want to like Yes I just I don’t my sister Cassie lovely husband Alex have a beautifulheartfelt budget friendly for Wedding in March of 2022 family and friends attend our Midwest cousins who all have kids are able to attend because the wedding is driving distance for them and my sister thoughtfully planned it over their kids school break my brother Max and Lizzie sleep late miss their first flight so they don’t even make it in time for the rehearsal dinner weird weird how that happened something I now wonder about did they really sleep through their alarms or was it just a stunt to pull the focus Probably.
He,
Ivette: like, wakes
Christa Innis: up, like, changes
Ivette: the alarm, like, on their phone.
Christa Innis: Yes! Oh my gosh. I have no idea. They probably, like, purposely, like, planned a later flight or something.
Ivette: 100%. I think she did it. I don’t think the brother did it. I think she was like, Oh, babe, like, I looked at the flights, they don’t have any more.
It’s just, like, we have to go to the later one.
Hijacking the Honeymoon with Drama
Christa Innis: Mm hmm. It makes you wonder like someone that’s acting like this and like he’s so easily manipulated Or she might make up stories to tell him like, oh, this is what they said to me This is what they did to me and just like victim mode. Oh my gosh. This could be like a whole series After the wedding my sister and alex go to their honeymoon to europe While in Europe on their honeymoon, Lizzie and Max start texting their complaints and grievances about who is not attending their pre wedding events to the family group chat again.
I text them privately and say, hey, it’d be cool if you let our sister enjoy her honeymoon for a minute. If you have issues, please text the rest of us directly, but leave them out of this. Spoiler alert. They don’t block. I’d be blocking. I’d be like, I’m on my honeymoon.
Ivette: Yeah,
Christa Innis: by the way, like
Ivette: Like, maybe through pictures, but like, I’m not, I suck at answering text messages and phone calls.
So my honeymoon, it’s like, Ivette’s dead. She’s gone. You were like, you weren’t even
Christa Innis: thinking about that.
Ivette: No, absolutely not.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I don’t even remember texting anybody on my honeymoon. I feel like we left our phones in the hotel room because we were at a resort. Sorry.
Ivette: I think like, we actually never went on a honeymoon.
We went on a trip. But our trip. that sounds like a bridezilla thing, like, a bridezilla thing, a thing of bridezilla. I don’t
Christa Innis: even know, I don’t know, shut up.
Ivette: I think I only use it for pictures, I don’t even know if I had service. So it’s like, I don’t know.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I would be blocking if someone just kept bugging me I’d be like I need to be in this oasis away from all that And good on this I don’t know whatever the OPS whoever like sent in this story like good on you You’re being a great like Boundary holder for your family.
That’s a lot of responsibility, but I’m proud of you for like stepping in Lizzie makes the next six months hell for my email inbox. She sends detailed look books and dress code guidelines for her engagement party weekend, micromanaging everyone’s travel plans, setting detailed schedules down to the minute for every single pre wedding event.
And giving main character syndrome, I’d say, a whole new meaning. She also continued to complain about how they feel abandoned and unloved by my extended family from the Midwest, who have been invited to their engagement party weekend, but cannot attend. I’m sorry, I would not be flying to an engagement party.
I just
Ivette: want it. And also the fact that you are sending, like, dress codes and lookbooks to the engagement party? Like, it’s not even the wedding.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Like, that’s a lot for a wedding, but that I can understand a little bit more. But an engagement party, you’re going to tell people what to wear, so they have to go out to a store, pay more money.
the engagement party weekend is at a small beach resort town. It’s expensive to fly to and the kids all have school. My sister’s wedding was over their spring break.
I try to explain to my brother and Lizzie saying, hey, the side of the family has kids. They’re not rich and they genuinely cannot afford to come to the event. It’s a multi day event that would put their kids out of school. You’re talking thousands of dollars just in plane tickets, not to mention hotel rooms.
You didn’t even invite them to your wedding. Just invited them to this and they Can’t afford to come. Like the kids. Yeah, they invited the parents and kids, the engagement party, but didn’t invite the kids to the wedding. So, she says, don’t take it personally, you just really didn’t plan this with them in mind.
Telling my brother and Lizzie this truth was clearly a mistake. Lizzie sent our whole family a text saying that it was unfortunate that our family didn’t support or care about them enough to show up. At this point, I really started to feel ill over the fact that my brother was marrying this girl.
It’s just a red flag after red flag. I’m beginning to feel like a prop, because the other thing I haven’t mentioned, she’s becoming a wedding content creator during all of this.
Ivette: Oh my god, I want to know who it is! Oh my gosh, this is bad. We can’t share this!
Christa Innis: Hey, the girl submitted it and you’re all like, I would, maybe share it. She goes, yep, you are that right. She quits her job at a consulting firm to work full time as a content creator and decides that her wedding is the best way to start. We are the props for her perfect Instagram wedding. At this point, I’m hating every minute of her wedding BS, but I’m also trying to keep a relationship intact with my brother because I love him and I’m also like blink twice if you need help.
You know,
Ivette: oh my gosh, this just put everything into like a whole different perspective like it makes sense like everything needs to be extravagant because the pictures need to look perfect because it needs to be filtered. So that you get more followers and I’m not saying every content creator is this way, but this person sounds like this is what they’re doing right yeah
Christa Innis: totally 100 percent terrible.
The Plus One Power Play
Ivette: Two months before the wedding, my plus one is revoked. Lizzie and my brother feel like I’ve defended my sister too much and taken her side during all the wedding drama.
Christa Innis: They want to punish me. My plus one is my boyfriend of a year and a half, and we already bought plane tickets. They can’t do that. I’d be like, I’m not coming anymore. That, yeah. It’s not like, oh, behave and you get a plus one. If you don’t behave, you take it. That’s not how plus ones work. I call my brother and say, Hey, we already bought plane tickets and got an Airbnb.
It’s incredibly cold and rude to disinvite my partner.said that he and Lizzie now feel as if I’m trying to upstage their wedding by bringing my boyfriend! This cannot be real! And they don’t want me making a big deal about it. Oh, they don’t want me making a big deal about their, about, oh my gosh.
Okay, at this point, I’m like, F it. I say to my brother, My boyfriend is going to come with me the weekend. If he’s not invited to the wedding, that’s up to you. You can exclude him. It’s in New York City, so he can find something fun to do on his own. My brother says, If you bring him to New York City, I will consider that as an attempt to draw attention from us on our wedding weekend.
Oh, come. These people are insane. I don’t,
Ivette: I don’t like him. I just, I can’t. I don’t. I would
Christa Innis: not be going.
Ivette: No, I would go. I would go to New York City. I would do all the fun tourist things. I would maybe like, oh, that’s your wedding. Oh, hey. And then just like keep going about my stuff. But yeah, no, I would go enjoy New York City.
I would not want to be a part of that wedding at all. At all.
Boundaries vs. Bridezilla
Christa Innis: I see you wouldn’t go to the wedding. Oh, no. I would go to New York. Yeah. Hundred percent. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would go to New York. Mm-hmm . Or I’d go to the wedding and like I’d say this, but I would never do this. I’m like, think of something like petty, like wear the wrong color or something.
I wouldn’t do that for all white . Walk in a ball. A ball gown. Ball gown. Yeah. No, I’m like, too, like I just wouldn’t, I can’t do confrontation. I wouldn’t be there. I say, well, we’re not cancelling his flight. He wants to spend time with me and our family, so he will come and he’ll spend time with us outside of the wedding.
You’re the one who disinvited him at the last minute in an effort to punish me. One month before the wedding, I get an email from Lizzie telling me that she needs me to get my hair and makeup professionally done. She’s not a bridesmaid. You can’t make someone do that. She tells me what color to paint my nails, what type of shoes I should wear, and what type of jewelry she expects me to wear.
I respond by telling her politely and a firm boundary. I say, You’ve given us wedding dress code. I will show up looking lovely and appropriately dressed to your big day. You don’t need to tell me what type of specific jewelry to wear or how to paint my nails. I to do my own hair and makeup as I cannot afford to pay a hair and makeup artist of your choosing on top of all the travel expenses.
Thank you.
Ivette: She’s not even in. She was demoted. How dare you?
Christa Innis: And I’m one for two, where like, even if you are a bridesmaid, give them the option. Like, never You give them
Ivette: options. Yeah. This is who’s doing the hair, this is who’s doing the makeup. If you want to, sure. If you don’t, that’s fine too. You
Christa Innis: feel more comfortable doing it yourself, that’s fine. I don’t care.
Ivette: This is the company, these are the dresses, or this is the color. These are the 10 different styles that they have. Whatever you want on your body, that’s what you choose. Like, you did that for us. Yeah. And, like, this person wants you to do this, this, this, this, this. Like, it has to be that or you’re out. Of what?
Of being a guest of honor?
Christa Innis: Yeah, I don’t even know what that means. This is like, honestly, the craziest story I’ve ever read. Every week I’m like, oh, this is the craziest I’ve ever read. I think this is honestly the most insane. Alright, we got two little paragraphs left. Well, that was the last I ever heard from her.
I went to the wedding with my family and without my partner. The food sucked. The venue was ridiculously expensive. She yelled at guests for accidentally walking into the venue too early while they were taking photos. My brother looks like a hostage. Yeah. My mom cried during the vows, but not because she was happy.
My dad talked to the father of the bride and learned that Lizzie had spent triple of the wedding budget. Yikes. She got all the Instagram footage and TikTok dances and pictures she could ever want in order to launch her career as a wedding content creator. There it is. She cared more about the outer, which I feel like people get caught up in so much.
It was like, they get more into the outer appearance of what everyone’s going to think about their wedding. Less about your marriage, the future celebrating with your family and friends. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. one of her best friends. And bridesmaids don’t even speak anymore. She asked people to pull out their phones during the ceremony and take selfies for social media.
She blocked me on instagram after the wedding because I didn’t post about the wedding and I haven’t heard from her or my brother in two years. This is gonna be sad. My brother used to make Be my best friend. I’m confused and heartbroken and worried about what his life will be like.
Sometimes I peep on their account from my other Instagram where I’m not blocked. I see her keeping up appearances and to be quite honest, she’s building an empire as a wedding content creator. Oh my gosh. To her credit, she works her butt off, but I know that every beautiful highlight reel posted to Instagram has its own dark story underneath.
That’s it. Imagine you and this girl have like partnered up. She’s been on the podcast. Oh my. Oh my gosh, that is so sad. That’s really sad, and that’s the thing with social media too, is like, you never know what’s actually going on behind the scenes when people are Posting all this aesthetic. I mean, you hear about influencers, like renting out jets.
So it looks like they have a private jet just to
Ivette: sit I’ve heard that too. Or like people being accused for that
Christa Innis: is a better
Ivette: way to put it.
Christa Innis: Cause we don’t really know. I guess I don’t really know. Right. And it’s just like, that’s just the whole appearances thing. Cause I mean, it’s just like, I guess if that’s your brand.
Ivette: Yeah. I think like in a day where like you can filter everything, you can like, Be like in your basement and make it look like you’re at some expensive resort somewhere right like people really crave like authenticity and like realness and, like talking about like harder stuff and it’s like, that’s why I don’t even post anymore.
Like, it used to be so fun to post on social media, but it’s like. I think I’ve told you this, like, I’ve struggled because it’s like, why am I posting this highlight of my life when it’s not all, rainbows and sunshine, you know, like most of my days are like crappy kind of, or like I’m busy or I’m tired and yeah, so.
Yeah,
Christa Innis: I know, I totally relate to that because like I, obviously I post on social. But I don’t post a lot of personal stuff because I feel like if I, and we talked about this too, it’s like if I’m looking for that like craving of someone to like applaud my life or to applaud something personally, then I’m lacking somewhere else or I feel like I need something like, you know, or sometime with myself or I don’t know, it’s just like, I’m the same because I used to like, I mean, Facebook days, I used to post all the time in college.
Like, you’d go out for a night and you’d post all 25 pictures. And then it just got to a point where it’s like, who am I posting that for? like, I love to entertain with content now, but it’s like, if I’m just, like, at home, Or I’m out. I’m not. I just don’t post about that stuff.
I think some people get caught up in this where they like start seeing people engage and they’re like, I have to keep it up. But like, that’s stressful. It’s also stressful to keep up appearances like that.
Ivette: I was just gonna say like, she spent triple the budget. And now like There’s an expectation of like, oh, like this is the kind of like space that you are in.
These are the kind of things that you purchase. So like every picture has to either be like that or up it or it’s not entertaining. You know what I mean? But when you’re posting like about your work, like your work is like the center of attention. That’s different, right? And so.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I feel like some of the, my favorite people to follow, like you were saying, they’re so authentic.
Like, oh, I’m trying to think of her last name. What’s her name? Jen. I can’t think of her last name. Elise Meyers is one that I follow who’s so authentic in her story and how she talks and shares, she’ll just be like in her room and just talk about her workday. Jen, who’s a labor nurse. I cannot think of her last name.
It’s gonna kill me. But, um, yes, I sent her stuff. Um, but she to like, she’ll be like hair up in a bun. And she’s like, This is my life right now. I’m like with my chickens and it’s just like very like Normal stuff and like not like I have chickens, but you know I mean like it’s just she doesn’t try to put on this facade of like my glamorous life Like everyone’s life has aspects that are glamorous or nicer but yeah, I think it’s like it’s so easy to get caught up in that and just I don’t know I feel really bad for this girl because it sounds like I can’t speak for everyone, but I’m sure we all can think of someone that’s been into, in a relationship like that where you’re like, he or she is like lost because they’re so enamored in what’s going on with their partner and they’ve turned away from their family.
Ivette: And I’m thinking to like imagine hard it is like when you’re in a relationship with someone and you’re like, oh, I want to leave or whatever, but then it’s like, oh, what is this person going to think? What is this person going to think? But now it’s like, it’s not just your friends and family. It’s like all of your followers.
All of your business, like not to say that that’s where they’re at, because like, we hope that that’s not the case. Right. But, if everything is based off of appearances, like it’s to be that much harder to change, walk away, be true to yourself, you know, so
Christa Innis: yeah, that was a rough one. That was really, thanks for this girl for sharing it.
I feel like it was probably therapeutic for her to type it all out. I hear that a lot from people. They’re like, I’ve held all this in and so me being able to type it like helped me feel better. So I can’t imagine though, like just having your brother just not speak to you or your family because of their partner.
So.
Ivette: even hearing the story though, I feel like. She did things the right way, like, she was very, like, composed, very mature, and I love the way she spoke about her sister. It was so beautiful. You know what I mean? I feel like her heart is at the
Christa Innis: right place. A hundred percent. Yeah, she did a great job, like, setting the boundary, not letting this girl walk all over them.
Right. and it also goes to show, too, there’s no pleasing people like this, because I think a lot of times people think, like, especially as people pleasers, we think, like, Oh, if I just do this for them, then they’ll understand If I say, okay, then they’ll be fine. And it’s like, no, once you let them tread over you, they’ll keep going.
Yeah. Yeah. So it’s like her with even her boundaries, it was not okay. Cause probably she’s never been told no before. Right. Yeah. Good for her. Yeah. Props to her. well, that was a long story, but thanks Frank. we need to do this more often because it’s kind of fun just to like. Hang out and like have a glass of wine because we never get to do this.
I loved it. Thanks for having me. Thanks for doing this with me. Yeah. so before you go, is there any last parting advice or anything you’re working on that you’re excited about?
Ivette: I’m almost done with grad school. I have like eight weeks left and I’m so excited because it’s meaning that we can actually hang out. We can, my schedule is not going to be booked and maybe the next time if we do this, it’ll be in person.
Christa Innis: Yes. That was our goal for everyone like listening. That was our goal to do in person and I got like, I feel like our schedules are not like It was just hard.
And also we were like, wait, three more weeks have passed. We got to figure this out. And I recorded my closet as of now. And I’m like, how would we do in person? I guess we can go in the living room. We got to find a space. And then I was just naked in that closet.
Ivette: We could just
Christa Innis: squeeze in here. We probably could. We’ve sat in weirder places together. Yes. It would
Ivette: be fine. Normal. Yes. All right. Awesome. Well, thanks for having me. Thank you.
Mother-in-Law Drama: Wedding Secrets, Demands, and Hot Takes with Suzanne Lambert
When your future mother-in-law demands to crash your bachelorette party, you know the drama is just getting started.
That’s just one of the bold wedding hot takes Christa Innis and Suzanne Lambert—a DC-based comedian, writer, and content creator whose sharp wit and strong opinions have earned her a dedicated following—tackle in this episode of Here Comes the Drama.
From setting boundaries with overbearing in-laws to debating dress codes and cash gifts, no topic is off-limits. Suzanne brings her sharp wit to the chaos of wedding culture—why some brides treat their big day like a year-long holiday and the awkward reality of forced wedding party invites.
Plus, they react to jaw-dropping listener confessions, from toxic family members to wedding guests who just don’t get it. If you love wedding chaos, hot takes, and unfiltered humor, this episode is for you!
Tune in as Christa and Suzanne break down the good, the bad, and the truly outrageous moments from weddings gone wrong.
Episode Chapter Markers
00:00 Introduction
02:33 Wedding Culture and Boundaries
04:52 Wedding Hot Takes and Dress Codes
11:39 Wedding Drama and Unpopular Opinions
32:20 Victim Mentality and Misunderstandings
34:48 Silent Treatment and Family Dynamics
36:15 Confrontation in the Pantry
47:57 Wedding Dress Shopping Drama
Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments
- The unrealistic expectations placed on brides and why “Bridezilla” is often just a woman setting boundaries.
- Why do some people turn every holiday into an excuse to post their wedding photos?
- The hilarious (and sometimes cringe-worthy) wedding traditions that should be left in the past.
- The great wedding guest dress code debate – should weddings have strict guidelines?
- The audacity of guests demanding freebies and influencers expecting comped wedding services.
- Why is wedding culture often riddled with passive-aggressive family dynamics, and how to handle them?
Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode
- “People have a real problem with women sticking up for themselves.” – Suzanne Lambert
- “The behavior you allow is the behavior that will continue.” – Suzanne Lambert
- “Do you want people to look good and feel good in your photos? Because that’s what’s important, not turning them into your aesthetic props.” – Suzanne Lambert
- “ I feel so bad for these brides because they can’t stand up for themselves and they need someone like that” – Christa Innis
About Suzanne
Suzanne Lambert is a DC-based comedian, writer, and content creator known for her sharp wit and unfiltered takes on everything from politics to pop culture. She started performing comedy in 2018—despite (or rather, because of) an ex-boyfriend who said he’d dump her if she did. Since then, she’s taken the stage at acclaimed venues like the DC Improv, Laughing Skull, Arlington Drafthouse, Side Splitters, and the legendary Friars Club. Suzanne has performed alongside top acts like Mark Normand, Katherine Blanford, and Tony Woods.
Her comedic style blends amused bewilderment with strangely strong opinions on the most unexpected topics. A Georgia native, she carries a Southern charm laced with biting humor and a deep appreciation for the absurdity of modern life. Beyond the stage, she keeps audiences laughing on TikTok (@itssuzannelambert), where her content has been featured in Newsweek and CNN.
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A Team Dklutr Production
Blog Transcript:
Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Christa Innis: Hi, Suzanne. Thank you so much for coming on. I’m so excited to talk to you. So, for anyone who doesn’t know, you can just tell us a little bit about you. And at first, I have to say, I love your content. I love how witty and narky. I don’t even know how you would describe it, but you’re so quick-witted.
And when I found you, I was like, this is an instant follow because it brings joy to my feed. I love it. I love that. Yeah. So just tell me a little bit about what you do. And, uh, I thought you’d be perfect for this.
Suzanne’s Journey From Wedding Critic to Viral Comic
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah, I’m so pumped to be here. Now I told you, but I started my comedy career really talking about wedding culture.
So, this is such a great fit, but my name is Suzanne Lambert. I’m a comedian, writer, and content creator. A lot of what I create content about is political, but we talk about all kinds of things. We talk about skincare; we talk about makeup. I’m a Georgia girl, and I live in DC, so I definitely have a Southern influence on a lot of my content, but I just really try to make people laugh at the end of the day.
And Have a little bit of fun and talk a little bit of shit. So
Christa Innis: I love that. Yeah. What I’m trying to do here with this podcast is share some crazy hot takes that people have when it comes to weddings and people who aren’t afraid to say what’s on their minds. And I feel like you emulate that pretty well.
And. I feel like you’re that friend that a lot of brides need when it comes to setting boundaries. Because a lot of these stories are crazy, either relatives coming in or a friend that tries to sabotage your wedding. And so I feel so bad for these brides, or it can be a story from a bridesmaid or whoever.
I feel bad for them because they can’t stand up for themselves, and they need someone like that.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah, totally. I’ve been in that position before, and we might get into it later where I’ve had to intervene on behalf of the bride and tell other people in the party or even tell people they’d hire that, ok, we need to do things a little differently because I think a lot of Brides are so afraid of coming off as a bridezilla don’t draw boundaries or stand up for themself when they need to. And then, of course, you see the reverse, where people are just acting all kinds of crazy. So there, Yes. It feels like there is, very often in-bein-between
Christa Innis: Oh yeah. It’s like you can’t win. ’cause even the stories were like I clearly show.
The bride’s family is maybe like an in-law, or something is being horrible to her, and they’re like, well, She’s a bridezilla because she said no plus ones or no kids, and it’s like, come on, right?
Suzanne Lambert: People have a real problem with women sticking up for themselves, And I’m like, if this was actually real life and you knew this person and you heard this was going on, there’s no way you would take that other person’s side.
But because they’re a bride. Are they automatically wrong? Like, no.
Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s insane. Like, sometimes my blood boils reading these stories because I’m just like, why do we have such hate towards these women? I read a crazy mother-in-law story yesterday where literally nothing the bride did could be right.
Like she could do anything, and this mother-in-law was terrible to her. And I’m like, why? It’s just that, misogynistic, like, I don’t know. Internal misogyny or something. I don’t know.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah. The boy-mom thing can be really weird. My mother-in-law is an angel. I’m so thankful. I didn’t have to deal with any of that from members of my family, thankfully, but I’ve seen it, , and it’s wildIt’ske absolutely wild.
Christa Innis: Yes. Oh my gosh. Yeah, same here. I can’t relate to that. I’m very sorry for the brides that have to. So I kind of wanna start off talking about some crazy stories and wedding hot takes right off the bat. So you said you used to cover, like talking about the wedding industry, crazy things you’ve seen at weddings.
Is there something that comes to mind where you’re like, this was insane, or just a strong take you have on weddings?
Wedding Social Media Habits That Make No Sense
Suzanne Lambert: Oh, so many. This is more broadly, like, culture, and it’s just funny, right? I find it hysterical that people will use any excuse to post their wedding photos.
Like, all of a sudden, people are super passionate about it. Arbor Day. They’re like, in honor of Arbor Day, here’s a wedding photo by a tree. I’m like, just say you want to post your wedding photos, but don’t make up these weird holidays that you’ve never observed before in order to post that.
And I do think, to an extent, there is a limit to how many. Posts you get about your wedding before I’m muting you. I’m sorry, and it’s not because I’m not happy for you, and it’s not because you don’t look beautiful. Still, it’s like you deserve to take other photos of yourself that you love. You deserve to think about other things besides your wedding uh And also, this is another one, the countdown blocks, and apologies in advance to anyone who has done this, where it’s counting down the number of days to your wedding, like it’s Times Square on New Year’s Eve.
Yeah. I find those insane. I’m like, are you good? That just feels crazy to me. Especially because usually you have the apps that’ll tell you. How many days your wedding is in and you’re like, Oh my God, cause it’s so stressful. Right. I’ve been there. But the thought of physically rotating a block every day to let you know how many days there are until your wedding.
It couldn’t be me. It just couldn’t be me.
Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s funny because I got those as a gift, but I don’t think I ever displayed them or used them. And I think I ended up re-gifting them because I was like, and sorry if someone’s listening, that gave it to me. I’m sorry.
Suzanne Lambert: I was like, shit. Did someone give those to me?
I hope not. But I didn’t use them if you did.
Christa Innis: Well, yeah, and the thing, too, I feel like that it’s different is, my husband and I had already lived together for years before we got engaged and married. So, to us, it wasn’t, like, countdown till we move in, countdown till, I don’t know, we were already at that point.
So, it was just, for us, it was just, like, another step,
Suzanne Lambert: I guess. Yeah, it’s goofy to me, and to be clear, who cares what I think? If that makes you happy, do it. I do just when people post the pictures of the countdown of the wedding, I’m just, like Oh, we got to get you something else to think about to like, you can’t, that cannot be your sole focus.
Christa Innis: It can’t consume you. When you were talking about Arbor Day and posting a picture, something that I always think about is when someone posts to celebrate someone else in their life, but they use their wedding photo, dude, that’s the first thing when they’re like, happy birthday to my second cousin once removed.
But it’s them as a bride and then in a family photo and arrow. And I’m like, Oh,
Suzanne Lambert: No, the craziest one I’ve ever seen in my life. This younger girl in my sorority, I don’t think she follows me anymore, so she won’t see this. She posted about her maid of honor, so like her best friend, and they have a million photos to choose from.
She posted about her maid of honor on her maid of honor’s birthday, and the picture she chose. Oops. Was her, the bride, like, facing the camera, you know, beautiful. Her maid of honor crouched down on her hands and knees. You literally couldn’t see her face because she was fixing it.
The bride’s veil. No, and I call those I happy day posts, it’s like you made their birthday about your wedding and it’s hard because I and my best friends are so bad About taking photos legitimately I was with them this past weekend and I said if we don’t get a photo this weekend We have to text our exes and we get to pick which of our exes we have to text That’s how dire it is.
We do not take photos. So I understand sometimes there’s not a lot to choose from but what I did is I picked a solo picture of some of my bridesmaids and my bridesmaid I had bridesmen after my wedding and I posted that because yeah, I was at my wedding, but it was only them looking beautiful like I was nowhere in the photo because it’s a wild thing to do,
Christa Innis: right?
Yeah, you’re like professional photos. You don’t always get your friends. especially it’s like the sabotage photo It’s like when you go out with friends and you pick the ones where they all look bad, but you look really good, Right?
Suzanne Lambert: Come on. And it’s like maybe if you post one from your wedding and one from theirs side by side To me, that seems fine.
But if it’s just a few, that’s just like a wild thing to do. I could not be me. Yeah. It’s like you’re literally looking the most beautiful you’ll ever look in your life. And they’re also there.
Christa Innis: And they’re awesome. Yes. Oh man, I love that. okay. So kind of talking about wedding hot takes, here are just a couple of different prompts.
I want to get your opinion on it. Do you think weddings should have dress codes or should guests be free to wear whatever makes them comfortable?
Wedding Rules No One Talks About But Everyone Argues Over
Suzanne Lambert: Definitely a dress code. I think anywhere you can provide clarity as someone planning a wedding is crucial to a good guest experience. I didn’t go as far as to make a Pinterest board.
That felt like a little much to me. But I wrote down a dress code and then examples of what that would be for the rehearsal. even for our engagement party. We did that because I think otherwise they’re just going to text you and ask you. And it’s going to be really irritating and you’re going to have a million other things.
This is a hot take on top of that. I think black tie optional is a really tricky dress code. I understand that people don’t want to force people to wear a tux or whatever. But then you have girls. Well, do I wear a long dress? Do I wear a short dress? And I’ve been in that situation So I think wherever you can provide clarity it will always lead to a better experience for the guests and for yourself
Christa Innis: Yes, I know.
I’m always like that. person that’s like searching the website, like, what’s the theme? Because as soon as you get to a wedding and you’re like, oh, I didn’t realize it was going to be outdoor. I was going to be in a barn. Do you want to kind of dress the theme? Yes. Yeah. someone that gave too much detail probably, but I was like, I want people to know what to expect.
Suzanne Lambert: No, me too, and I guarantee you people still asked you, didn’t they? Yeah. Yeah, like, what’s the dress code? And you’re like, did you happen to see the FAQs that I painstakingly put together for this very purpose?
Christa Innis: Right, I also am someone that, like, yeah, I don’t come in a white, Fall gown or something to my wedding, but other than that, I’m like, what a weird thing to say.
Yeah, that seems kind of crazy of Hot take. That’s a bridezilla behavior. Right? But I’m like, if someone wanted to wear a bright red dress, I don’t care about that stuff. Like, they could have worn white to my bachelorette party and I would have been like, you look great.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah, it’s okay if your dress code is casual.
Like, that’s completely fine. If that’s your vibe, cool. Do what makes you feel good. But just let people know. Because being overdressed is a bummer. Being underdressed is a bummer. So just when people know what to expect, I think that’s always the best policy. Actually, I’ll let you keep going because I have so many hot takes that are coming to my head, but I’ll love it.
I’ll react to some more of yours. I love,
Christa Innis: I love that. So this is your opinion on cash-only gifts or explicitly asking for money instead of traditional presence, people are so contrary, like not controversial people I’ve noticed. Yeah,
Suzanne Lambert: I have seen no issue with that, If that’s what you want, I want to get you something you want. And honestly, I am not the best gift giver. I’m a gift card girl. Like I love giving people a gift card. I love receiving a gift card. So if you’re telling me all you want is cash, cool. To me, that’s great. I see nothing wrong with that, especially because a lot of people.
They’re trying to buy houses or pay off student loans, in the next lifetime. That would be nice. So I get just asking for money and we have plenty of knickknacks already.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I don’t get why some people get so, why don’t people like it? It’s so weird. Like, whenever I go to a wedding, I only bring cash.
Like I’m not going to bring in a big wrapped gift there, you know, showers are different. But, I was sharing about things like the honey fund or like Zola or not, people can just donate cash gifts or donate to your honeymoon or different things. And people were getting, in the comments, a certain generation, not a group, but they were like, I’m not paying for a honeymoon, and you’re not paying for a honeymoon.
If you gave someone 200 at their wedding, they could use it for Dishes, they could use it for sheets or they could go on a vacation, you know, why
Suzanne Lambert: no, don’t you like the person whose wedding you’re going to like, why wouldn’t you want to contribute towards their honeymoon? That’s so strange.
Christa Innis: I mean, you could buy them, whatever, and they could go return it and get cash for it.
So why does it matter what they end up using it for is my thing. I’m like, yeah.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah, just for the sake of tradition. And you know what, if you want to buy them a little knick-knack like we had a few people buy us things off the registry. I didn’t care. Like, whatever. If you saw something and it made you think of me and you thought I would like it and you brought it to me.
That doesn’t bother me. I’m appreciative to get a gift either way But if you want to get them something physical you always could do that if that really mattered to you for some reason That’s beyond my understanding
Christa Innis: I know I don’t get upset about things like that
Suzanne Lambert: And again, I don’t know who has done this. I don’t even know if you have done this. Um, I think the wedding color code is bananas. When you are putting out Pantone codes on your wedding invitation, so people wear corresponding shades of lavender and blue, what’s happening? What, what’s going on?
I’ve seen people do it where they ask people to wear all black. That makes a little more sense to me. But I still just can’t get behind stripping people of their individuality. So that they are matching the aesthetic of a wedding. Yes. I think that’s crazy.
Christa Innis: I know, I honestly didn’t know that was a thing when I started making this wedding content.
And I would see it, like, come up in my feed or something and I was like, wait, people actually do this? Do they want their photos to look a certain way? I’m like, that’s over the top. Yeah. Like, sorry guys, you can’t wear that bright pink, but you can wear this dim pink that’s a little dusty and a little, I’m like.
No, too much.
Suzanne Lambert: Right, we require people to wear uniforms? And people don’t like how they look in that color. And not everyone’s color season is the same. Not everyone should be wearing a muted cool tone, right? that’s not, do you want people to look good and feel good in your photos?
That’s what was important to me. I let my Full bridal party be like picking your tuxes and picking your dresses. I gave them a few very reasonable parameters but I want you guys to look hot and I want you to feel hot and have fun because I’ve been to weddings where There’s one where I legitimately looked like I was a middle-aged pioneer woman.
It was so And that was the bride’s goal, by the way, like she did not want us to look good. She was kind of open about that, which I guess I can appreciate to a certain extent. But I looked so bad, and it affects your ability to have fun because you just don’t feel cute, Yeah. That was that hot take.
Whenever you mentioned dress codes, I was like, I gotta bring up the color palette.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I like how, You see more and more weddings now allowing individuality between their bridesmaids. I basically had a website and was able to pick any dress from this website. I had a nice family of colors.
always in the same family. but I was like pick a style that’s good for your body type or that you feel more comfortable in. Yeah. Because I’ve seen weddings where they have everyone in the same Superfitted dress and it doesn’t matter what size you are. Sometimes you just don’t want a super fitted dress.
No, I’m not a body
Suzanne Lambert: You will not see me in a bodycon. Like it just isn’t for me Yeah, it’s like you want people to feel good what they’re wearing
Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s uh, my parameters were
Suzanne Lambert: like no super plunging necklines because I had one and then no super high slits also because I didn’t have a super high slit, but I had a slit
and no strapless mostly because it was December and I just didn’t want strapless dresses. like, it was very easy for people to pick something they would actually like.
Christa Innis: Yes. And it’s totally normal to have some guidelines for your wedding party.
Yeah. They are going to be in most of the photos and everything, but to have your guests between some parameters is.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah. It’s bananas. And to me, it sets a negative vibe for the wedding: you’re micromanaging what the guests are going to be wearing. and I’ve never been invited to such a wedding.
My friends would never ever do something like that,
Christa Innis: but
Suzanne Lambert: I feel like it would make me feel like I was on high alert.
Christa Innis: You
Suzanne Lambert: know, unsettled kind of,
Christa Innis: Like, Oh, I’m gonna take my hair down. Wait, am I allowed to wear my hair down? Yeah. Am I, are these earrings okay?
Suzanne Lambert: Like literally, yeah. and it was so funny and you see that creep into even like.
guests, almost like paranoia. So everyone in my wedding wore black. someone came up to me at the wedding. So sweet. They were like, I’m so sorry. I had no idea your bridesmaids were wearing black. I wouldn’t have worn black. I was like, Oh no, no, no, no. It’s so okay. I cannot believe you feel like you have to think about that, but it’s all good.
It’s the most common. I feel like it’s made people a little skittish.
Christa Innis: Oh yeah, for sure. I showed up to a wedding once wearing the exact same colors of bridesmaids and it was like a cranberry Merlot colored dress. I was mortified.I didn’t say anything, but I was like, Oh my gosh.
but it was like a January wedding. So it’s very normal for that time of year. So I was like. No one said anything. Yeah, like you would
Suzanne Lambert: have no way of knowing. I know people are trying to be polite because you see people who do care about the color palette.
But people were texting me asking me, What color the bridesmaids were wearing so that they didn’t accidentally match them, and I’m just like ah Like it doesn’t it matter like I don’t care, but I know Other people do but it just leads to like more annoying messages to have to respond to for the bride You know because there’s been this weird tenseness, I don’t know if that’s a word, created around wedding
Christa Innis: culture these days.
Totally. Yeah. It’s such a spectrum. It’s insane. okay. So this next part is. Pick a side. So the wedding drama debate. So people are sending me their unpopular opinions. So let me know what you think about these. Um, this first one says just because your family is invited doesn’t mean you’re invited.
Suzanne Lambert: Hell yeah.
Completely agree. especially if you are paying for the wedding yourself. Um, I do think if you’re getting financial assistance from your family for your wedding, do think they have some say, um, but it’s like a second cousin, um, Twice removed. I absolutely don’t think that they need to be invited.
And I also think I would rather not get financial assistance from my family and pick who I wanted to be there than invite a bunch of random people who I don’t actually want to be there. And my husband and I did pay for our own wedding. So we were able to choose. Exactly who we wanted to be there and it made the experience so much better.
But yeah, I completely agree with that.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I feel like this is a common thing where if someone wants to pay and there’s strings attached, then it’s just not worth it. We had some assistance from both parents, but we paid for a good portion. And we had some
Suzanne Lambert: to clarify.
I definitely had some and my in-laws paid for the rehearsal dinner and my parents paid for my dress, and again, any contribution they made. Right. Lookout is very generous. So I just did want to clarify that. I guess my mom hears this. She’s like, wait a second. You’re like, hold up. Yeah. Yeah. But go ahead.
Christa Innis: Yeah. No, but I was going to just say like, but because I have a respectful relationship with both my in-laws and my parents, I reached out and I was like, hey, send me your list of who you want. but I see these stories where it’s like they have a terrible relationship with the in-laws and they’re like, well, we’re paying for this.
You need to invite all these people. And it’s like, that’s not how it works.
Suzanne Lambert: No. You need to be
Christa Innis: respectful both ways, I think.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah, it’s tough because if they’re giving you financial assistance, I do think they deserve some say, but that’s just a crappy attitude to have, that you would give someone money with strings attached if it’s someone where not only is there not a relationship, but if, there’s a bad relationship, I think you should prioritize the people you love most in your life.
And I think family is who you make it. So it doesn’t need to be someone related to you by blood. And just because you were invited to theirs. It doesn’t mean it needs to be reciprocal either. So
Christa Innis: 100%. Okay. And this next one says, if I have to travel far for a wedding, I won’t be giving you an expensive gift.
Suzanne Lambert: That’s fine. Yeah. Yeah. I think Don’t go into debt for my wedding. Like please don’t be having debt collectors knocking on your door so that you can come to my wedding and give me a gift. Then you’re also gonna have a grudge against me that I Don’t even know about.
the bride and groom are not keeping a mental tally in their head of, oh, well, they gave me a gift and they didn’t. And if they are, that’s weird. Then they’re buying you for a dollar amount. Yeah, yeah, a hundred percent. And I’ve heard, you should cover your plate, whatever.
I don’t agree with that. Either. I think people should give what they can afford and what they want to give.
Christa Innis: I think there’s totally different levels to it. But, yeah, for my own wedding, anyone that was flying in, I was like, I don’t want them to give me a gift. I don’t expect it because they’re paying for a flight.
They’re paying for a hotel. all on my dad’s side, they all had a fly in, so they’re paying a lot of money. And so I’m like, I don’t expect any extra gift from you guys. No.
Suzanne Lambert: agree. And everyone had to fly for mine too. Well, almost everyone. I think there were like four people who didn’t have to.
And also, for the rehearsal and the welcome party and of course the wedding, we paid for all the food, all the alcohol, transportation. So once people stepped foot into our wedding weekend, they weren’t spending any additional money. And that was really important to us is like, yeah, we’re not trying to put people.
Because I remember being in my early 20s, going to four weddings a year because I’m from Georgia and you get married as soon as you graduate college, essentially. so I remember being in that situation and I was like, we’re not going to do that to people who are coming to our wedding.
That’s also why we had a longer engagement so that we could save longer and provide that experience.
Christa Innis: yeah, definitely. I think someone where before I go to a wedding, I know what I’m going to give. I’ve heard of crazy stories where like, they go and they see what the wedding’s like first and someone literally just told me this story a few months ago, or a friend of theirs at a wedding was like, Based on what they got for appetizer and like the setting, that’s what they gave back.
And I was like, no, that’s so
Suzanne Lambert: funny. They’re like, well, it was French onion soup. If it had been lobster bisque, I would have given you an extra. this doesn’t get that much love from me. That’s such a funny thing.
Christa Innis: It’s so odd what people think about. I’m like, how close am I to this person? And spreadsheet at dinner like, okay, this is
Suzanne Lambert: worth this
Christa Innis: amount.
This is
Suzanne Lambert: That’s wild. Yeah, like
Christa Innis: It’s crazy.See what you can afford if you’re close to the person who does that. I don’t know. Yeah,
Suzanne Lambert: I did not invite a wedding to get gifts and, or I didn’t have a wedding to get gifts and money, right? If I wanted money, I wouldn’t have had a wedding.
I would have just saved the money I spent. Yes.
Christa Innis: I have such a problem when it feels like you are just a number at a wedding. Yeah. And you’re only invited to be there. So like, In my early twenties, I felt like I was such a people pleaser. if I got invited to a wedding, I was like, we have to go or like a bridal shower, but then I was like, I got a little bit older, I was like.
Barely friends with this person. Why would I go to their bridal shower and they told me there for a gift. It was just kind of weird. Yeah. So I was like, no, I’m only gonna go to someone’s that I would want at mine. Or we have a good relationship. Totally. Completely agree. All right, let’s jump into today’s or this week’s crazy story.
Mother-in-Law Never Heard of Boundaries and It Shows
So these are blind reactions. I don’t read them ahead of time. And so we’re just going to react together. So feel free to stop me or interrupt me at any time. I’ll pause too. and we’ll see what happens. Perfect. Okay. My fiance and I got engaged in April and have been so excited about planning our wedding for next September. Before we even got engaged, his mother had been supportive, often teasing my fiance about proposing because his grandmother said it on her deathbed.
Love, love, love that
Suzanne Lambert: ally in grandma. She’s like, I got you girl. Yeah, she’s like, one last thing. Yeah. Iconic.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Anyways, she was very excited in general. So when we did get engaged, we called her from Ireland to tell her that he had proposed. In the same breath as saying congratulations, she couldn’t even finish her sentence before asking, can I go dress shopping with you?
I only have two sons. Okay. At the same time, I thought it was innocent excitement coming through. Looking back, I should have known where it might lead. Even when we were leaving that trip engaged for only two days, we told her that we had tentatively picked a city. We actually had already chosen the venue, but we didn’t want to share it yet due to her tendency to voice strong opinions.
Uh Huh, , . Yeah. So they kind of knew it was coming. Sure. She immediately started complaining to family members about the location. We chose, oh, here we go. Months passed. And by June, Father’s Day weekend, we had both sides of the family over. My parents, his grandpa, his mother. His aunt from his mom’s side during dinner.
His mom starts asking me for the address to the venue. I asked why? First of all,
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah, Google Maps exists. If she already knew the venue at this point,
Christa Innis: right? just look, I feel like it’s just to make a. Point being like,
Suzanne Lambert: tell me that she drags. My family, Irish Catholic, like it’s, passive aggression is our second language.
That’s exactly what she’s Same here. She wants to say something, but she’s not gonna say it, so she’s gonna ask you a weird question that she could easily, like, look up the
Christa Innis: information herself. Yes. Oh my gosh, the passive regression. Yes. Um, I asked why because I’d already sent the information when we finalized the venue.
Right. There we go. She said she deleted her texts and didn’t have it anymore. Who deletes
Suzanne Lambert: their texts? Like First of all, not, not a mother of that specific age group. They’re not deleting their texts. Second of all, you remember where it is? Like, are you in the CIA? Why are you deleting all your messages?
Not sketchy. Weird. That alone is, yeah.
Christa Innis: Yeah. She wanted to visit the venue. I explained it’s a private property, not open for tours, and even my fiance and I hadn’t seen it in person yet. Instead of understanding, she doubled down. Just send me the address. It’s fine.
Suzanne Lambert: No, it’s actually not. It’s not fine, actually.
Christa Innis: I don’t get the, like, aggressive, like, she went from passive to, like, now she’s aggressive. I don’t get that aggressive, like, I’m telling you what’s happening here.
Suzanne Lambert: Right. Like, whose wedding is this? And all that that’s going to do for most rational people, it just makes me not want to give you what you want, even if I would have been inclined to do it before.
Now I’m definitely not going to like it. I’ll actively go out of my way to make sure you never get that. I’d like to censor it from all of your maps apps. Like that’s how petty I am
Christa Innis: Yeah, the day of the wedding you’ll have a car just pick you up and you’ll be black
Suzanne Lambert: Like actually though. Oh, wow. I cannot. I’m so excited to see where this goes.
Christa Innis: It’s insane. Um instead of uh, I lost my place. Okay. Um, okay. She um Yeah. So she kept pressing until the entire room was visibly uncomfortable. When I said no, she started making excuses like, well, how am I supposed to know where to book hotels? We were 15 months out from the wedding, and I had already planned to arrange a room block closer to the date.
I assured her everything was nearby, but she continued to repeat, just send me the address. I’ll drive by. Okay. Fiance
Suzanne Lambert: needs to intervene. I’ll say that. Yeah. Where, like, where is he? Step in. Yeah. Where’s he at in the mix? He needs to step in and be like, hey mom, you’re doing that thing again. Knock it off.
Christa Innis: It’s the, it’s time. I know you’re a boy mom. Like, let’s. Right. And at
Suzanne Lambert: first I thought I was on the mom’s side because she asked if she could go dress shopping. I only have two sons. I’m like a girl. I want a daughter so bad. If, and when we have kids. So like. I understand that being top of mind, and I’m like, okay, yeah, I get it.
But this is not going the way that I thought it was gonna go.
Christa Innis: Yeah, it turned so quickly.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Um, each time I said no, she came back with, I might go in, or I’ll just pop by. She then pivoted to my bachelorette party, nudging my mom and saying, Aren’t you so happy we’re going on our bachelorette? Oh, no. We? We
Suzanne Lambert: speak French now?
Why, who’s we? No, that’s not. What world is she living in? And do you know, like the kind of things you talk about at bachelorette parties and like often the activities and like paraphernalia that you’re wearing? Like I went to one, my best friend married my brother and like, you know, it’s bad enough sometimes kind of hearing about, you know, your brother and his.
And now wife’s, you know, sex life, like those are the things you talk about at bachelorette parties. Do you want to be hearing that about your son? It concerns me that you might. From what I’m hearing, I
Christa Innis: Maybe. I feel like some mothers like this don’t care and they like to be involved in that. But like this is even the weirdest story.
Like I’ve heard so many where you’re just like, Boundaries. Like Are you into your son? Like that’s, that’s what I’m getting.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, Yeah, it’s so, I don’t know, it’s, it’s so weird. Um, at, I was confused and said, oh no. At this point, I was so uncomfortable from the conversation earlier that I firmly told him it wasn’t happening.
Oh no, that’s
Suzanne Lambert: So funny. Oh no. Oh no. That’s hilarious. That’s the best thing she could have said at that moment. I’m really proud of her. Yeah.
Christa Innis: She brushed it off by saying, It’s fine, we’ll do our own thing. My mom, knowing my plans to take a trip with friends, fully supported me. Like, what? Yeah, you’ll do
Suzanne Lambert: your own thing called, You’re not coming, babe.
Yeah. You’ll do your own thing called, You’re gonna go to Bridge and Bunko and hang out at your house like you would’ve been doing cause you’re not a part of this. Yeah. What? What’s happening?
Christa Innis: Oh my god, Bunko, I’ve not heard that name, that word, in so long.
Suzanne Lambert: That came out of the far archives of my brain.
Never have I once played a game of Bunko, but I feel like that’s still very much in the scene.
Christa Innis: Yeah. The day dragged on with her pushing topics like the China set from her deceased aunt and other things. That’s the whole story. Okay, I’ll
Suzanne Lambert: hear more about China. I’m like, I’m listening. What’s going on with that?
I’ll take some antique China. I’m not mad at the hat to be clear.
Christa Innis: Um, at one point, she had a bit to drink. She cornered me in the kitchen, completely unaware of how annoyed I was. She said, Is this my
Suzanne Lambert: ex boyfriend’s mom? Cause I actually was thinking, I wonder if she’s drinking. Um, and then when you said that, I’m like, Who wrote this?
Is this
Christa Innis: my ex’s
Suzanne Lambert: mother? Oh no. It all sounds very familiar. Well, I’m glad it’s an ex. You and I, you and I both.
I think my lucky stars every day, trust me,
Christa Innis: Oh God, I’m dead. Okay. Um, so she called me in the kitchen and she said, aren’t you just so happy I’m going to be your mother in law and not insert difficult family members here. So she’s blocking the name out. I looked her in the eyes and said, um, I don’t know if this is the person’s real name, so
I’m trying to think of, like, a crazy name. Um, Barb. Barb, I’m okay right now. But if you keep pestering me about things, I’m going to the venue. I’m not going to be okay. I added, this is my boundary. She didn’t seem to register at the time. But, oh, did she later.
Suzanne Lambert: Okay, Therapy. I love that. Yeah, we love boundaries.
I would love it if the fiancé was setting some. Um, and I’m annoyed on her behalf that she’s having to do it all herself. But I’m very proud of her for saying that. That’s not easy to say. Bye bye. Yeah.
Christa Innis: Especially when you’re being cornered because it sounds like she’s alone with this mother. Like why is no one around?
And that’s what they
Suzanne Lambert: do. I feel like people like this, like they want to get you alone at your most vulnerable, where you don’t have a chance to really, really think things through. So that’s impressive thinking on your feet.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. I would be shaking in my boots. I’d be like, is this actually happening right now?
I’m that person that in a scenario, I’m like, Why is this happening? And then like a minute later, I’m like, why didn’t I say that? I should have said that. Or as I’m saying it, I’m like, you know what? And boundaries that I’m like, shaking. And I’m like, that’s okay. I’m like,
Suzanne Lambert: Ooh, maybe we shouldn’t have gone that hard.
Maybe we take a deep breath. My yoga instructors, like generator response, feel powerful choosing. And I’m like, generator response, you feel powerful choosing when I like to spout off. So we all, we all have our struggles. Yeah. I probably would have been like, Yeah, I don’t know, crazy family members sounding pretty good right about now, and like, it would have started a whole thing, so.
Christa Innis: Yeah, um, my, okay. My fiancé and I discussed how upset we were with the day, okay, so now, now he’s around, um, and how comfortable she had made things. He was very supportive and felt the same way. Two days later, can you hear that when my earphones buzz?
Suzanne Lambert: No, uh, I only could when you did that, and it did cut out for like just a second, but we’re back, it looks like.
Oh,
Christa Innis: weird. Maybe it’s my headphones just dying. Okay. Anywho. Um, he was very supportive and felt the same way two days later, he called her to address it, telling her that her behavior was unfair and made everyone uncomfortable. She exploded saying, is this why I’m going to change her name again? Is this why Kelly doesn’t like me?
And hung up. She then gave us science by right. Like, yeah, the girl that wrote the story. Yeah. Okay. Like, huh? What, what gave it away? Like, are you
Suzanne Lambert: acting? Like, so there’s a level of awareness. Like, it’s so funny because my mother in law’s like this. they get there, right? They get, oh, Kelly doesn’t like me, but they don’t see any of the lead up to anything they could have done.
They look at it as a spontaneous event.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert: It’s like, oh, all of a sudden, and all of a sudden she didn’t like me. And it’s like, are you forgetting the a hundred things you did before she reacted the one time
Christa Innis: or, or the time that they finally like to snap back. It’s they’re so mean. I don’t do anything wrong.
And it’s like, that was like the story I read yesterday. I’m like, Oh my god, this victim mentality of like, why would she say that to me? I’m just your mom. I just care so much. It’s like, no, that was not the full story. No,
Suzanne Lambert: because if you cared, you, you would be like, oh my god, I hurt your feelings. I’m so sorry about that.
Like that’s a normal way to do it. Can you imagine if someone called you and was like, Hey, at our engagement party, you made us feel bad and sad and whatever, like you would be horrified because you’re a normal person. Imagine like. Like, that’s why they don’t like me?
Christa Innis: Oh my god. Like, what?
Suzanne Lambert: I don’t understand.
And, like, if she had been like, oh, that’s why she doesn’t like me, that would be like such a different thing. Like, oh, okay. I didn’t realize how annoying I was being noted. You know? Won’t do it again. Yeah. Like, sometimes you need a little kick in the ass to be like, oh, I’m acting weird. Yeah. But that’s wild.
And then to hang up, I don’t believe in hanging up the phone, especially on your own son. Right. Right.
Christa Innis: Like, yeah. Um, oh, this is, hold on tight. This is a, this is a long one. I love this. Sorry, Nellie, but I’m living for this. This is crazy. Okay. She then gave us a silent treatment for three weeks. I bet it was a really nice three weeks.
Suzanne Lambert: That sounds lovely. That sounds like a vacation. Yeah. Silent treatment. That sounds ideal. She should do that more often and with others in her life. I would, I would imagine. That is beautiful.
Christa Innis: Best case scenario. I feel like in these scenarios, just keep it going, please. She even ignored my fiance’s birthday, which is two weeks after the incident.
Normally they talk every other day. So this was very shocking until then we had no issues. And I thought our relationship was fine. Her behavior was hurtful, especially to my fiance. Thankfully his aunt who witnessed everything supported us agreeing that his mom’s actions were out of line.
Suzanne Lambert: We had a wonder if the aunt is on the dad’s side or the mom’s side, cause that also kind of changes things a little bit.
It’s her sister. Hopefully the aunt is going to be like, You’re being nuts. If it’s the dad’s sister, she’s like, Oh, I’ve seen this from the beginning. One of us wanted him to end up with her. Like, we all wanted him to end up with the other girl, you know, like, that dynamic is interesting, too.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I know. Like earlier at the party, I think she said it was her. I think she said the mom’s sister or the mom’s side.
Suzanne Lambert: That’s like worse, honestly. Yeah. You know? Like, your own sister being like, yeah, but again, I hope that that, I hope the aunt is going to the mom. Like, if I saw my sister acting that way, or if they saw me acting that way, they would be the first to be like, hey, cut it out.
Christa Innis: Exactly. I’m going to take these off saying they’re dying already.
We had a 4th of July weekend. Okay. We had a 4th of July weekend planned at his family’s lake house, and she was supposed to join us.
She didn’t show up until the weekend was nearly over. When she arrived, there was no warm embrace, no belated birthday wishes for her son, just coldness. It’s like, why even come? It was incredible. Yeah. Awkward.
Suzanne Lambert: Cause she wants to have her Real Housewives moment. She thinks she’s on like Real Housewives of Orange County, like with a dramatic show up.
Girl, no one was worried. Yeah. No one was worried. They were like praying you didn’t come. Yeah, like, again, like, the silent treatment, the weekend without you, where we’re just like, chillin eating hot dogs, like, waving flags, like, it was all going really, the vibes were high, like, yes.
Christa Innis: Yeah, she likes, yeah, she wanted to come in with the sad music, everyone’s like, oh no, what’s, what’s wrong with Barb over there?
A fur coat.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah, like, mope dramatically around the house. Puffin and puffin Like, what we would do when we were sleeping. Seven and like our parents made chicken for dinner and we didn’t want chicken like that. She wanted spaghetti. She didn’t want chicken. So now she’s making it everyone’s problem.
Yeah.
Christa Innis: Oh my god. So true my fiance I decided we needed to address this. He pulled her aside in the pantry while I stayed around the corner I love, like, the sour cream and onion chips
Suzanne Lambert: listening in,
Christa Innis: you know? That seemed like the best
Suzanne Lambert: spot.
Christa Innis: Funny
Suzanne Lambert: setting for this conversation. I love that she added that in.
Christa Innis: Yeah, the pantry,
Suzanne Lambert: It really sets the scene. It’s like, this is dire. This is a dire situation.
Christa Innis: That was the quickest spot. He started by saying we wanted to resolve things, but she exploded again. She accused us of keeping the wedding a secret because we wouldn’t share the venue address. A narrative she created.
She claimed I had promised to send it to her and didn’t, saying she didn’t do shit. At that point, I stepped in the conversation and said, Well, it’s my turn to enter now! She is like, What?
Suzanne Lambert: Wait, the bride said that? The bride. She’s like, well, it’s my turn to enter now. Step through, step in, push those bagels aside, tell her how you feel, you know,
Christa Innis: I love this.
This isn’t like, I’m, we were just talking about how so many of these stories, like I feel like the bride is a people pleaser and just like, you know, tells a story and I feel so heartbroken for her. Yeah. This is like the first where I’m like, oh my gosh, yeah, she’s coming, she’s
Suzanne Lambert: ready to go. And it’s like the behavior you allow is the behavior that will continue.
And if I had to guess, cause I’ve seen this. a million times. The vibe growing up was like a super passive aggressive where the son probably just learned it was easier to just, you know, not react and let it go and ignore it. But like, it comes to a head in adulthood and especially during weddings. So I’m glad that she’s telling her.
What’s what?
Christa Innis: Yeah,
Suzanne Lambert: they’re
Christa Innis: very proud. Yeah, this is a big moment. Um, she stormed toward me, got inches from my face. How big is this pantry?
Suzanne Lambert: I’m like
Christa Innis: thinking
Suzanne Lambert: this like, I’m still, I’m like thinking about the pantry. I’m like, wow. Pantry envy. There’s like three people in there at this point. Storming.
I’m like, dang. Whose house was this? A rental? Like, I want to, I want to come check out this, this dramatic pantry. Yes.
Christa Innis: Um, she pointed a finger at me and screamed, how dare you talk to me that way? How dare you mention boundaries and make me out to be some kind of villain? Well, you said it. Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert: I mean, if you’re feeling it, I’ve been boundaries.
That’s She’s like, no, no, no, no, we don’t do those in my family. We don’t talk about that. You’re gonna learn.
Christa Innis: Yeah. You do what I say in this family. Yeah,
Suzanne Lambert: like, clearly, like, the very, like, the power dynamic between, like, parent and child is very important to her. Because when you’re saying things like that, you feel like she should be Obeying.
Christa Innis: Yes. Oh, yeah. I calmly asked, Are you really going to approach the conversation like this? She responded. Yep. I’m so mad. You have no idea what this has done to me. Oh, my God. Here we go. Okay. She said she would never have spoken to her future mother in law that way, in the way that I spoke to her. She claimed we were leaving her out of the wedding, which wasn’t true, and insisted that she was just teasing me.
Suzanne Lambert: What? Oh, they love to say things like that. Oh, it’s just a joke. Well, it wasn’t funny.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert: So what kind of money
Christa Innis: Just giving it to me is teasing her. And like, no, it no, it wasn’t. That’s not what teasing is. It’s only teasing until like You’re told like, that’s not okay, and then it’s like, oh, or no, it’s only, it’s not teasing until you’re told it’s not okay, and then you’re like, oh no, it was just a joke.
And if it
Suzanne Lambert: was just, and if it actually truly were just a joke, and someone’s like, like, I’ll, I’ll make jokes, you know, cause I, I like to kind of test the limits with the people around me and see how jokes will play out. I made a joke the other day, my husband did not appreciate it, and he was like, That’s not funny.
I’ll actually say it really quick. It was kind of funny. I was like, yeah, you know, I always said I was just gonna marry for money and I married for love. Like that was, that was dumb, right? Like laughing. And he’s like, yeah, sorry, you didn’t marry for money. And I was like, well, it’s not too late. And he was like, don’t do that.
And I was like, okay, okay, fair. Like, sorry. You’re right. Noted. Writing that one down. So if you actually are joking and someone doesn’t like it, it won’t offend you to say sorry, wasn’t a good joke, we’ll table that one for never, you know.
Christa Innis: Right, you don’t keep pushing and keep going and When it clearly was not a joke.
I don’t know why it keeps doing that to my face. I like
Suzanne Lambert: It’s dramatic. I know, it’s like,
Christa Innis: whoa!
Suzanne Lambert: To see like the clothes. I love it, I’m imagining cameras in the pantry. Like, I, it’s spitting. It’s a whole
Christa Innis: dramatic scene. Like, I’ve started kind of picturing these as like SNL skits sometimes. Like little sketches, you know?
And I’m like, oh my god, all the people in the pantry. Yeah. What if like the father in law comes
Suzanne Lambert: in? I’d be listening outside because I’m toxic. Like I would fully be like, I’d be like, Can I just get the hot dog buns? Like, I don’t, not trying to like cause a thing. You need everything in that pantry. You guys have all the food in there.
Like, we’re starving. There. Yes. Go in the garage.
Christa Innis: I’m so dramatic. I would do the same thing. I would probably be like, literally all the food’s in there. I’m starving. I will die if I don’t go into that pantry right now. And
Suzanne Lambert: I’d stay in and just like, like, watch what’s going on. You guys need a ref? Yes. I’m here.
Yeah.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. When I explained she made me uncomfortable, and that’s why I mentioned boundaries, she was appalled. She acted like I cussed her out, completely missing the point. The conversation dissolved. Devolved in her screaming while my fiance and I stood there stunned. Oh my gosh.
Suzanne Lambert: Ow.
Christa Innis: The next morning she returned to the cabin.
I knew I had to confront her because I felt so unsettled. I pulled her aside with my fiance present and said, the way you spoke to me was unfair, disrespectful, and beyond damaging. Um, you said, how dare you talk to your mother in law like that? And I say, Or maybe she said, and I say, how dare you speak to me that way?
How dare you
Suzanne Lambert: talk to your daughter in law like that?
Christa Innis: Right. You know? It’s like, it’s that older thing where they think like, you respect me no matter what. You owe them something. No. And it’s like,
Suzanne Lambert: no dude, that’s not how this is gonna go.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert: At all. That might have been how it was with my husband and you as his mom, but that’s not the kind of behavior that I tolerate, nor, nor should she.
Christa Innis: Yeah, yeah. It’s like, you didn’t raise me. I’m not your daughter.
Suzanne Lambert: God, therapy eludes these people, I swear. It’s like, just go to a therapist, lady. Like, you have some problems.
Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s always the people who need it. Yeah. People like that, like, never see that they’re the problem. Yeah, which seems
Suzanne Lambert: awesome. It seems like an awesome way to live.
Imagine never thinking you’re the problem and everyone else is. Mm hmm. Instead of, like, lying awake at night thinking about something I said to someone, like, over the weekend that was, like, harmless, but, you know, like, they’re, they’re just thinking everyone else is wrong and they’re right. Like, it seemed, I’m, I’m jealous.
I wish I didn’t have a conscience. It seems fantastic. It seems really easy, you know? Oh yeah, it must be really nice. Yeah. Teach us. Have her on next. Teach us how to have no conscience. You seem like you have a really easy life. Just not care about it.
Christa Innis: I will literally, like, look at someone the wrong way or say hi the wrong way and I’m like, Do they think I hate them?
Yeah. No, for
Suzanne Lambert: sure. Like, Or people will say things like, Oh, when I met you, I thought you were, you know, one way. And I’m like, oh crap. Like, is that the vibe I’m putting out? You know, like, I hate to think about, like, actually genuinely hurting people if, like, they’ve done nothing wrong, you know? Like, it’s Right.
It’s crazy.
Christa Innis: Yes. Uh, for two She says, For two years, I’ve dedicated my time and energy to your son and your family, and you have no right to treat me like this. I started crying as I spoke, and my fiancé stepped in to back me up. She tried to apologize and hug me. I’d be like, don’t touch me, but I was overwhelmed.
I could barely respond. Eventually she left saying, I’m happy. We talked,
I would be, I’d be more mad at
Suzanne Lambert: that. I think. Oh, that’s icky. Like, I’m not a therapist, thankfully. That would be bad, but like, that, it’s like, you wanna, she wanted to break her down until she was at her lowest possible point. So in a way, she, the mother in law, like, got what she wanted. Is that the end of
Christa Innis: the story?
Um, there’s one more little paragraph.
Suzanne Lambert: Okay. Hold on. Pause on that. Like, that That’s wild and honestly, it makes me also feel sad for her fiance like what he went through growing up? If that was the kind of dynamic it’s like, oh, you’re only cool with me if I’m like unhappy, you know, like
Christa Innis: That’s why it’s such a weird mentality to me because like, you know, we were talking about like, you know, she’s like a boy mom.
So like, wouldn’t you be excited? Like, oh, I have a future daughter in law like we can do like girly stuff or whatever.
Suzanne Lambert: Yes.
Christa Innis: And so like, why is there like a competition or like rivalry? I don’t understand if you have boys or girls. I have a girl.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah. Okay. So yeah, so you can’t even like relate to the boy mom mentality, but I’ve always said like, I want a daughter, and I, I can’t have a gender reveal, well one, I just wouldn’t for personal reasons, but like, I couldn’t because if it weren’t a girl, like I know I would be like so sad, cause I love, I want a daughter so bad, and I love boys too, like I’ll be happy with either, whatever.
Yeah. But like, Especially if you’ve always wanted a girl, which it sounds like the mom did given that she was so excited to go wedding dress shopping. Wouldn’t you be like, Oh my God, I have to make this girl be obsessed with me. Yeah. I have to make her love me. Like my mother in law is, and she has one girl, but she has two boys, but she’s such a girl’s girl.
And she’s always like doing sweet things and being thoughtful. And like, she was amazing during the wedding process. And this girl deserves that. And I hate that she’s, like, clouded what’s supposed to be happy times with her wild, untheorized behavior.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I know. Same here. Like, my mother in law has an amazing style.
Like, she has better style than me. And she’ll be like, here, this is what I got, like, It’s like another girlfriend. Like, she’s so awesome. Totally. I need to
Suzanne Lambert: text mine back, speaking of crap. Gabby, if you hear this, I’ll text you back. I’m sorry. Um, yeah. No, I, I completely agree. God, and if I was this girl’s mother, I don’t know if this is, like, things on the fiancé’s side, but if I heard another grown ass woman talking to my daughter this way, I’d be like, listen, mother in law versus mother in law, like, this is wild.
Yeah, like, what’s, what’s the goal here? And what’s, and like, I don’t know, she hasn’t, she actually weirdly, maybe not weirdly, she hasn’t mentioned her future father in law. So I don’t know if there is a future father in law, or if he’s just so used to the behavior that he’s just defeated and doesn’t say anything.
But I’m like, surely this woman has someone in her life. That’s
Christa Innis: when you’re going
Suzanne Lambert: to stop acting this way.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I wonder if she’s like a widower or something, and so she’s like, Oh, my sons are all I have. Right. You know, that would make it even more intensified. Yeah. Cause I feel like guilt on the sons, but you need to take care of me.
But dang, I wish we could ask her, like, give us
Suzanne Lambert: more. But, uh, yeah, I feel like maybe she would have mentioned that if she were, but that’s, um, wow. That’s it. What a, I mean, I feel like
Christa Innis: With also this kind of strong personality, I feel like also the other option is that, like you said, the father in law is just exhausted.
He’s like, I don’t even fight with her anymore. We’ve been married for 30 years. I just sit in the back, you know, my recliner, which stocks,
Suzanne Lambert: It’s like, you can’t just give up, you know, just because you’re used to it. Other people aren’t used to it. This better
Unfiltered Takes
Christa Innis: end well, or I’m gonna be upset. Alright, let’s see.
It’s been almost two months since this incident. I’ve made an appointment to go dress shopping with my mom, my fiancé’s aunt, Okay, so it was like the sister, I think. Okay. Oh, and his mom. All present on that original incident deck in a few weeks. Okay, so she wrote this before this dress shopping thing happened.
So there might be another thing. I texted them and while everyone else was enthusiastic, her response was noticeably less so. It has been a nightmare, but I hope this story entertained someone. It definitely did. And then she said, part two coming soon questions. Yes! So I’m gonna have to reach out to her. I want to come
Suzanne Lambert: back for part two.
Oh my god, we should do that. Um, I am inviting myself. Wait, I want her, I want her to beat her at her future mother in law’s own game and try on the most outrageous, like, showiest, skankiest dresses that exist. Even if that’s not her style. And be, like, dead ass serious. Like, essentially, like, try on lingerie.
And be like, yeah, I love this one. Cause you know this mother in law will hate that. I also do not support her going. Um, I think that’s a bad idea. I actually went solo quite a few times before I went with anyone else because I had no idea what I liked and what I wanted.
Christa Innis: Um,
Suzanne Lambert: and I, and I liked doing it that way, but, um, I hope her mother in law is not the type to like body shame.
I mean, it definitely sounds like she is. Yeah. Um, Oh, I don’t want her to be invited, but I hope if she does go that she has a little fun with it and she just tries on really ugly, crazy tacky dresses.
Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s like my thought is like, she’s like, okay, let’s just move forward now, but it just sounds like the mother in law never actually apologized.
And so I feel like she should lose privileges to like come to things then because yeah, you’d want to be comfortable like you’re trying on your wedding, future wedding dress possibly. So right.
Suzanne Lambert: And she needs a mean friend to go with her. I’ll go with her. She needs someone who will be like, If you say one more thing like that, Judy, you’re like, you’re out or like, honestly, she should even like Warren, the bridal stylist and the people who work at the salon, like my mother in law’s crazy, please intervene where necessary, but she needs someone who’s going to vouch.
Yeah. For her.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Because it can’t be an engagement party or whatever, the cookout was like part two where the mother in law is saying stuff to her and everyone’s just watching. And
Suzanne Lambert: phones need to be forbidden because her mother in law absolutely sounds like the type to take a picture of the dress and post it on Facebook.
Yes. Like she will. And I’ve heard of them doing that. I’ve heard of mothers doing that.
Christa Innis: Yes. I literally just saw a story, um, actually Cassie, who, who was on like a few weeks ago, she, um, shared a story about an aunt doing that. She was shopping for dresses. Yes. Posted a picture, didn’t see anything wrong with it, and like, fought hard, and they were like, you can’t do that.
Like, you’re not involved in any other wedding stuff now. She needs to take her
Suzanne Lambert: phone and just like, throw it in the street. Like, cause that, she will do that, and she will also definitely verbally describe it to people, I’m sure. Oh yeah. Which you may or may not, I mean, verbalizing it is one thing, seeing it’s another, but.
Oh, I don’t like
Christa Innis: that. Yeah, I’m gonna have to follow up with her and then we’ll, it would be kind of cool if she’d want to come on and chat. Yes! People are like, they don’t want to see their, like, Heather face, but if I can figure out a way to like, we’ll have her
Suzanne Lambert: camera off. One of those things in like, the mystery shows where their like, back is facing and they’re backlit.
It’s like a deep voice or something. It’s like SVU. So not SVU, but like criminal mind or whatever. Yeah, it’s so funny. Yeah, a voice garbler. Oh my god She does it does sound like my who could have been my future mother in law. So I I know this type of woman all too well And it does not get better, unfortunately, uh, Yeah.
You just learn how to deal with it. And for the long haul, I guess.
Christa Innis: Yeah. But you gotta
Suzanne Lambert: beat them at their own game. So I think she should just try on a lot of really ugly dresses. And then, and then guess what? If she doesn’t find her dress at this, which I honestly hope she doesn’t, She did the thing. She checked the box.
She brought her mother in law with her. She can just go with her mom and the people of her choosing.
Christa Innis: Yeah. To the
Suzanne Lambert: next appointment. I mean, I had like, I don’t know about you. I think I was on my seventh visit to a bridal salon before I finally found one. Like, I didn’t try it on and find it immediately.
So I’m hoping that’s the case for her.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I honestly wish, like, looking back that I spent more time. I think I was just, I’m like such a Box checker like and I like it. But I did a lot of research online first. So I knew the exact style of Nice, and then I had like one day where I just bought like I brought my maid of honor one bridesmaid. My mom and my mother in law are very short and sweet.
I think I tried on like six dresses and I found it Oh, that’s awesome. Oh, that’s amazing. Yeah, I
Suzanne Lambert: don’t like wasting time. I’m just like let’s do it But I, efficient efficiency. Yeah. Like I, I, I liked my dress by the, I didn’t, I wasn’t like, I love it, but I liked it enough. I liked it enough, if that makes sense.
Like, I didn’t think I was gonna have the teary moment, like I just, me personally, I just wouldn’t have that over a wedding dress. And I think it’s amazing that other people do, and I have it over other people’s. Mm-hmm . But everyone else was crying, including my cousin Liz, who doesn’t cry. unless she’s like laughing at something and I was like, okay, if Liz is crying, this is like straight up.
So I hope that she will. She needs to have a force field around her to, like, protect her joy, um, and not let her mother in law say anything. And honestly, if her mother in law starts critiquing her, be like, oh, is this what we’re doing? You go try on some dresses and I’ll critique you next. Yeah. Surprise, mother in law.
Yeah. We can
Christa Innis: both do this. Oh my gosh, I love that. Okay, well that was a crazy story. Um, The way I like to end these, um, episodes is our weekly confessions game. So a couple people send me their confessions on Instagram, and I know we’re kind of going a little over time, so. That’s okay. We can move quickly.
Yeah, sorry, I’m a, I’m a gabber. No, I love it. This has been so much fun. I’ve been loving it. Um, so these are people, Instagram. Um, and so, let’s react to them. Okay. First one says, my mom, oh gosh, my mom called my husband, my ex fiancé’s name, on our wedding day.
Suzanne Lambert: Oh no! Did the husband hear? Like he knew it happened?
Um, I assume he must have. I’m trying to think of anything in my head. I’m like, maybe he didn’t know. Oh yikes.
Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s, that’s rough, especially on the wedding day.
Suzanne Lambert: And things just happen like that, and it doesn’t mean anything, you know? I actually, if it makes her feel any better, not gonna say who, a close friend on her wedding day referred to her now husband as her ex husband’s name.
Christa Innis: Oh no. And she
Suzanne Lambert: was like, oh my god, don’t tell ex I said that. And I was like, no, of course, but like, it doesn’t, it doesn’t mean anything. Like, it just happens sometimes.
Christa Innis: Yeah,
Suzanne Lambert: you’re like in the moment,
Christa Innis: and
Suzanne Lambert: it’s not like a friend saying,
Christa Innis: yeah, it’s not like Ross saying Rachel’s name at the end of the aisle.
Suzanne Lambert: That would be a very different thing,
Christa Innis: yes.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah. Sometimes it just happens. And also, like, our parents can never remember anyone’s name. My dad has known all of my friends for, like, over a decade, and he has no idea who anyone is. Don’t put too much stock into it. I don’t know. I’m trying to rationalize it.
Christa Innis: And it’s, like, the ongoing joke with me and my friends, too, where, like, our dads have known all of us, like, for so long, and it’s, like, just, like, a dad thing, I feel. And he’ll
Suzanne Lambert: be, like, no, I’ve never met that person. He’ll look at me, like, I’m crazy. He’s, like, I’ve never met them. I’m, like, dad. Like, you’ve, they’ve actually told you, like, secrets.
And like confided in you. You’ve given them advice that they still talk about. You most certainly know them. He’s just really playing good at the game of like, Oh, I kept that secret really well. Minding his business. Yeah, right. He’s like, well, I don’t, I don’t know anything about that. I’m a
Christa Innis: Scorpio. I keep secrets.
Oh my gosh. Okay. This next one says, my brother’s ex forced her way into my wedding party and now she’s in all of the photos. Her brother’s ex? My brother’s ex-fiance. Oh, yeah, my brother’s ex.
Suzanne Lambert: Oh, well That’s why you gotta put them at the end of the picture, so you can crop them out very easily if needed.
Christa Innis: Well, and I have a lot of questions, like, how does someone get, how does someone force their way into a wedding? That’s not a
Suzanne Lambert: thing. That’s when you say no.
Christa Innis: It’s like, it’s like that person that just automatically is like, can’t wait for the bachelorette party, like this mother in law. But it’s like, oh, when am I coming to the bachelorette party?
What dresses are we getting? And then you’re afraid to say no. Right. Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert: Like, I didn’t have my sister’s in law in my wedding party because I’m closer with people than I am with them, but they also didn’t think anything of it, right? Like, just because we’re related doesn’t mean you have to be included, um, so, yeah, there’s, there’s no such thing as forcing her way in.
Unfortunately, you did kind of. Let her do that. Yeah, I know it’s hard, but that’s awkward. Yeah when they’re in the photo Then you’re just like well get someone on. Hey, there’s someone on reddit who can photoshop them out. Like I Just go go find a good photoshopper
Christa Innis: Yeah, definitely Um, okay This last one says I cut off my sister for trash talking about myself and my husband to one of my children . Good.
Yeah. Yeah. That’s a bold move on the, um, sister for talking trash to your child. That’s weird. And I love
Suzanne Lambert: that the kid told you. Loyal. I’d be like, yes, you’re my kind of kid. Yes. Keep that up. And I wonder what, I wonder what she said. I know. That, and kids repeat everything they hear. Yeah. Really think they’re not gonna tell her that you were talking about her?
Like, they repeat everything. Even when we don’t think they’re listening. Right. And it’d be weird to
Christa Innis: Be like, don’t tell your mom this. Like, well, right. That, I, yeah. That would be Like, that’s a whole new
Suzanne Lambert: level of, like, creepy and weird. Like, we don’t do that. That’s a, yeah. That’s like a new definition of red flag.
Like, if 100%. Yeah. Oh, good. I’m, I’m happy she cut her off. That’s Good for you. That’s awesome. Wild. Yeah, I’m feeling really fortunate for the family. I have right now, to be honest, like yeah, it could be worse. It could be worse.
Christa Innis: I just say like people like there’s some people when I first started saying like different stories, they were like, Oh, you’re spreading toxicity and I’m like, but then I would get messages and they’re like, no, you’ve allowed me to like have boundaries or you allow me to see like great relationships.
I do have. And I was like, Honestly, like, it does the same thing. Like, I’m like, It makes you really look at your, like, relationships you do have and you’re like, Okay, I have good people in my life. Or, like, here’s how to communicate when something’s not right. Or, like, It makes you see what not to do.
Suzanne Lambert: It’s not promoting toxicity.
Like, also, like, toxic positivity is very much a thing. Trust me, when I started doing stand up comedy, I would make silly, harmless jokes about wedding culture. People were mad, like, people get very sensitive around the wedding topic, and I’m like, dude, you have to be able to laugh at yourself, and also, what you’re doing helps other people see, oh, my mother in law does that.
And I, I thought maybe I was alone in feeling like it was not okay, but now I’m being validated. It’s not. Right. And also, they did the toxic thing, we’re just talking about it. Exactly. Right? We’re not toxic. We’re perfect. That’s been established throughout the entire podcast. 100%. Um, no, that’s, yeah, I feel very fortunate, honestly.
I’m gonna go call my mother in law and be like, just wanted to say, for not cornering me in pantries recently. We gotta find out more about this pantry. Yeah, I do. Would love to see a floor plan. Um, it sounds like a gorgeous house. Uh, I would like to hear more about the house. Maybe we’ll get an invite next year.
I would love to go. Live show in this pantry. Where we have a microphone up to the, up to the pantry. And actually, if anyone has any kind of beef they need to air out, that’s where they have to go. It’s like a dedication.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. It’s like the real world. Like we’re like, they would have cameras everywhere.
Like the confessional was in the pantry. Yes. It’ll be the confessional.
Suzanne Lambert: Wow. Soon.
Christa Innis: We have a
Suzanne Lambert: TV, so yeah, I think, no, is it, no, I know one of them is like, um, in the political world now. So that’s, that’s love that one of the reality TV, real world alum. So, you know, I’ll be looking that up. Yeah. Reality stars are just everywhere these days.
They,
Christa Innis: Yeah, reality stars. They’re just like us
Suzanne Lambert: So much.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, well, thank you so much for coming on. I had so much fun, like hanging out with you. I love your takes and this was just so much fun hanging out. Um, can you tell everyone where they can find you, what you’re currently working on and all that good stuff?
Absolutely.
Suzanne Lambert: You can find me on all socials, so TikTok, Instagram, at, it’s Suzanne Lambert, S U Z A N N E. People think Susan and Suzanne are the same name, they’re not. Um, and I’m, you’ll see me every day posting videos, I talk about politics, I talk about makeup, skincare, just, whatever, spur of the moment. Um, and I, I co op, or I collaborate with some news outlets, so sometimes you’ll see that, see that too.
And I have a podcast launching soon, so more about that. So that will definitely Uh, be hitting you up once that’s live, but, uh, just keep a lookout.
Christa Innis: Awesome. Very exciting. Well, awesome. Well, thank you so much for coming on. It was so much fun and like officially meeting you and I love your content. Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert: Thank you.
I love yours. Thank you.
Wedding Demands, Ultimatums, and a Disney Honeymoon with Liz Fleming
Think weddings are all love and laughter?
In this episode, Christa spills the tea with Liz Fleming, life coach and founder of The Small Town Social, on setting boundaries and surviving wedding drama. From hosting epic events to managing moments that make you go “Did that really just happen?” Liz brings her A-game with hilarious stories and savvy advice.
The pair dives into juicy listener confessions, from overbearing in-laws to cringe-worthy pre-gaming fails at dry weddings. Liz breaks it all down with tips for staying cool, calm, and collected while keeping the good vibes rolling.
Whether you’re tying the knot, hosting a bash, or just here for the gossip, this episode will have you laughing, learning, and maybe even rethinking that bouquet toss.
Episode Chapter Markers
00:00 Introduction
01:26 Career Pivot and Life Coaching
03:13 Setting Boundaries and Event Hosting
04:43 Wedding Stories and Hot Takes
22:07 Wedding Day Drinking Dilemmas
24:08 Biggest Wedding Regret
27:10 Story Submission: Wedding Planning Woes
39:01 Weekly Confessions Game
Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments
- Liz shares her journey from PR to life coaching and her passion for personal development.
- Discussion on the importance of setting boundaries in weddings and events.
- Juicy listener stories about overbearing in-laws and dry wedding dilemmas.
- Wedding speech disasters and how to handle unplanned drama.
- Liz’s advice on creating meaningful, joyful events while maintaining personal boundaries.
- Insights into the cultural expectations of big weddings versus intimate gatherings.
- Hot takes on viral wedding trends and why authenticity matters.
Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode
- “Boundaries are so crucial—they not only set the tone for your gatherings but also let everyone, including you, have fun.” – Liz Fleming
- “The most satisfied people are the ones who follow their gut, set boundaries, and stay true to their vision.” – Liz Fleming
- “It’s okay to involve your audience in events, but always have a plan—otherwise, it can totally spiral.” – Liz Fleming
- “If your wedding day puts such a financial strain on you that you’re going to enter your marriage with such a level of stress, it’s not worth it.” – Liz Fleming
- “I think it’s really important to respect people’s choices for their wedding, whether it’s big, small, or something in between—it’s their story.” – Liz Fleming
- “Boundaries are the name of the game—respectful no’s are a form of self-care.” – Christa Innis
- “It’s your wedding, not an entertainment reality show. Stay authentic to your relationship.” – Christa Innis
- “Weddings are so personal, and I feel like when couples stick to what makes sense for them, that’s when the magic happens.” – Christa Innis
Mentioned in the Episode
- The Life with Liz Podcast
- The Small Town Social
- GLOWcon: An annual women’s conference organized by The Small Town Social, focusing on personal development and community building.
About Liz
Liz Fleming is a multi-passionate entrepreneur, life coach, and founder of The Small Town Social, a personal development community focused on empowering women. With 20 years as an award-winning PR professional, Liz pivoted her career to help ambitious women step into their power and live joyfully.
Through coaching, hosting events, and her annual gathering, GlowCon, Liz helps women gain clarity and confidence in all areas of life. As a military spouse and mom, she brings a relatable, results-driven approach to guiding others toward transformation.
Follow Liz Fleming:
Join the Drama with Christa Innis:
Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!
Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.
Submit your story today: Story Submission Form
Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!
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A Team Dklutr Production
Blog Transcript:
Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Christa Innis: Hi, Liz. Thank you so much for coming on.
Liz Fleming: Hey, Christa. It’s so nice to see you.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I know. I feel like we were just talking before recording, but I feel like time has gone so fast, and also feels like the blink of an eye. It’s like, time is so weird now.
Liz Fleming: Yeah. Time’s weird, but we just move on. We move through.
Christa Innis: We do. It just flies by. I’m so excited to have you on. Like I said, I thought of you right away because you are the host of your own podcast. You host events. You are so multifaceted. And so I thought you would be the perfect person to have on here and share your own hot takes.
And we’re going to play some games as we kind of go through. But first and foremost, can you kind of just share a little bit about yourself and what you do?
Liz Fleming’s Journey
Liz Fleming: Sure. Yeah, of course. I’m so excited to be here. This is going to be so much fun. It’s been a while since I’ve done a podcast interview, so I’m getting my juices flowing again, and the reason for that is that I have been in the thick of a total career pivot.
So as you know, Christa, because we used to do a lot of fun projects together, I was a publicist for 13 years. And I was presented with an opportunity to kind of slow down in my career, and I saw that as an opportunity to totally pivot and become a life and success coach.
So right now it’s just been amazing. You know, when you get that full-body feeling that you’re doing what you’re supposed to do. So I help women realize their purpose on purpose and realize their worth. And we can cover things from career, life, relationships, love, finances, whatever.
But the core of what I teach is really just helping women come back to wholeness so they can live more joyfully. And I have a set formula and a way that I do that. But, yeah, I’ve been in the thick of getting my certifications. So, I’m coming out on the other side of that and I’m just hitting the ground running. It’s just been amazing.
Christa Innis: I love that. I love that because I feel like what you said about when you find that purpose, that thing that really excites you, that is just like, cause it doesn’t feel like work. It just feels like, Oh, I get another day of doing this exciting thing and helping people and having a full impact, which is amazing.
Liz Fleming: Yeah, yeah, totally. And I forgot to mention too, like The Small Town Social, which you’re very familiar with, which is my women’s personal development group that kind of inspired the whole pivot to coaching because I host an annual gathering for women to focus on their self-healing. It just felt like coaching was my natural next step. So I have a lot of experience in event facilitation, which is going to make our conversation here really fun today. Yes. Yeah. It’s been awesome though.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Well, and as you’re talking too about what you do and your, like, how you kind of pivoted, that is perfect too because, and all these kinds of skits and stories that I share on my channel, it’s all about setting boundaries.
So many times these women have to deal with very difficult relationships or hard situations when growing up, they were taught to just be a people pleaser, just say yes, or just do what they tell you. And as we get older and we say no to things, we’re either told we’re difficult or we’re the B word.
So part of sharing these skits is like, you can do things respectfully. You can say no respectfully. So I feel like this is, you’re the perfect match to be talking on this podcast because you can share your take when it comes to setting boundaries and following your path of like, okay, that doesn’t serve me anymore. So let’s go this way.
The Power of Boundaries and Crazy Event Stories
Liz Fleming: Yeah, of course. And that’s so spot on. And it’s so funny you mentioned that because I just did a whole podcast episode about setting healthy boundaries, specifically around the holiday season, but they really apply to life in general.
And especially when you’re hosting an event, whether you’re a bride, you’re hosting a birthday party, or someone like me who hosts large-scale events. Boundaries are so crucial, and they really help not only set the tone for your gatherings but also set you apart and allow everyone, including yourself, to have fun. So important.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I love that. So with that being said, let’s jump into my first segment here, which is any crazy stories, and then we’re going to get into wedding hot takes.
So right off the bat, I know we were kind of talking, and you said just like leading events, you kind of have different, you’ve seen different things, or you’ve seen it all just being at different things.
Do you have any crazy stories that come to mind or anything you’ve heard that you were kind of like, kind of shocking or like, oh my goodness?
Event Hosting, Wedding Speeches, and Hot Takes
Liz Fleming: What’s sticking out for me as an event host is I love to involve my audience in my gatherings as much as possible. I don’t like to stand on a stage all day and talk to the audience. I’ve done that before, and, you know, it works for everyone. They learn a lot, but it was just like—so over the last 6 and a half years of doing these events with The Small Town Social, I have really involved my audience, but you have to be cautious with that.
So things like passing around the microphone and doing group shares—you guys can totally apply this to wedding speeches and stuff—be so cautious about doing things like that. Have a plan. Don’t just go free for all and start doing the group share or letting someone have the mic and do a speech because it can really get away from you.
There’s not really one instance; I mean, it’s happened loads of times for me, which is terrifying. Someone is either too scared to talk, the microphone’s pressed into their face, and there’s not much you can do about it, or they’re nervous to start talking, and then they talk and don’t stop talking.
That’s a really big one where you’re just kind of like, “You need a game plan for that.” I have kind of a seasoned approach now, but for anyone interested in hosting events, or you have an event on the horizon, that’s like my number one thing: totally involve your audience so they have fun, but proceed with caution.
Christa Innis: Yes. Oh my God. I’m so glad you said that because that was something I shared. I don’t remember where I shared it now—it might’ve been in a story somewhere—but I was at a wedding once. I was a bridesmaid, and at the last minute, I want to say it was like a few weeks before the wedding, she brought on another bridesmaid. They had a falling out and then became friends again.
And the girl right off the bat was like, “Alright, I’m giving a speech,” like didn’t wait to be asked, just told her, “I’m going to give a speech,” and this bride was so nice, and she was just like, “Okay,” just accepted it. And after this bridesmaid made her speech, she goes, “Anyone else have anything to say?” which I was just like, you know—no.
Lines started forming of siblings of the bride and groom, cousins—we were sitting there for probably 30-45 minutes just listening to these unplanned speeches. And they were, like, not—you know, like, there are certain things you say and don’t say in a speech, and they were just saying everything. They were talking about sibling fights growing up, how they had a terrible falling out growing up, and why they did, and it was just like, “Is this really happening?”
Liz Fleming: Oh my gosh. That’s so bad.
Christa Innis: That was so bad.
Liz Fleming: That’s like my nightmare. Actually, that is giving me flashbacks to my wedding because, yeah, more people made speeches than we knew. It was just kind of like, “Okay, all right.” It’s a boundary between respecting people, but also like, “I paid for this. This is my day,” kind of thing.
As long as you have a plan—like with how I run my events, I have outs. I have certain phrases that I say, and I’m very well-versed in how I present my body language. There are ways you can do that to change a conversation and change a vibe. You send the signal, right? The bat signal.
I have an amazing team helping me with these events, who are also well-versed in that. It makes it a lot easier to just kind of be like, “Okay, we’re going to take a pause here.”
The other reason why that’s scary is probably the most obvious—we live in a very sensitive time right now where everyone has different opinions, views, and thoughts on everything, and you just never know what someone’s going to say. I’m not trying to scare everyone away from the group because it is so powerful. Keep doing them. Just have an anchor—keep people focused.
Even, I mean seriously, for any event, you can do this. For weddings, keep it positive, keep it light. Focus on one thing, one memory. Don’t go down the rabbit hole of everything. And the same goes for more of a life-business-related event like what I do.
Christa Innis: Yeah. And I want to get to hot topics in just a second. But what you just said reminded me of this thing I saw—when you said there’s so much going on, like, we’re very opinionated, right?
I saw this TikTok where someone was sharing—and again, I don’t know what things I should say or not say yet—but in the bride’s father-of-the-bride speech, he talked about the election. He was so happy and came out wearing a hat, and I was just like, no, no, no.
And I guess she knew she had feelings that he was going to do this and was like, “Do not do it.” So she had already told him, “Do not do it.” And he still did it and made this about the election and not about her wedding, which I was like, “Come on!”
Liz Fleming: So that hurts. That hurts. It hurts a lot.
Christa Innis: Oh yeah. So that being said, let’s jump into some wedding hot takes. So I’m going to ask you a couple of questions here that are labeled as some kind of hot takes and tell me what you think.
Okay, let’s see. What is one wedding trend that you think needs to be retired for good and why?
Wedding Trends, Big Day Decisions, and Boundary Battles
Liz Fleming: Oh my gosh. I think—oh, am I going to get canceled for saying this?—I think it’s like the elaborate aisle stuff. Like, can we just get down the aisle? Does it have to be an elaborate dance thing or, you know?
Christa Innis: Choreography, like a choreography dance or something?
Liz Fleming: Yeah, and maybe those are already over. I haven’t seen them in a while, but I just remember there was a time when they were the thing. And, I don’t know, how long have I been married? Seven years? Six years? Five years? I remember when I was planning my wedding, I was like, that’s not happening.
I feel like it’s more about the extreme displays of entertainment going viral. Because everyone’s recording people at the wedding, and I just miss when it was intimate and personal. Now it’s like a reality show sometimes, and I think that’s what needs to go. That’s what I’m trying to get at.
Christa Innis: Yeah. No, I totally see what you mean because I think we’re losing sight of what makes sense for our relationship and our wishes instead of going viral. You totally hit the nail on the head with that because I was just talking to someone about how we’re so caught up in what everyone else wants for our wedding day that we lose sight of it, like, “Wait, that doesn’t make sense for me.”
Like, I would never do that. Or when parents come in, they want to invite 500 people. It’s like, “Well, I’m very introverted, so that’s really uncomfortable for me.” The same way it’s like, “Oh, let’s do this viral dance so that maybe we have a chance of blowing up on TikTok.” Why? Why do you ask yourself, why do you want that?
Liz Fleming: Yes, exactly. It’s like the gender reveals—they’ve gone too far.
Christa Innis: Starting forest fires in California. Like, let’s not do that, people.
Liz Fleming: Yeah.
Christa Innis: We can just do it the old-fashioned way—bite into a cupcake or something. If you really need to, just have the baby and move on.
Liz Fleming: Just have the baby.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Okay, that was a good one. Do you think big weddings are worth the expense, or would you recommend keeping them small and intimate?
Liz Fleming: That’s totally subjective. I don’t want to crush anyone’s dreams. If someone wants a huge wedding, I think that’s awesome.
I personally feel that if your wedding day is going to put such a financial strain on you that you’re entering your marriage with a level of stress that takes away the joy, then it’s not worth it. I’m an advocate for small and intimate weddings that are messy, joyful, and true to the couple.
I think it’s really up to you, obviously, and your budget. Weddings have gotten so expensive. I know people who’ve done destination weddings for that reason. They’re like, “Well, if we’re going to spend big money, we’re just going to go overseas and do it.” That often makes it smaller and more intimate because fewer family members can go.
So, there’s this hybrid segment of weddings now, which I love. I’m like, that sounds fun. Maybe for our 10-year anniversary, we’ll do something awesome like that. But yeah, I’m all for being small and intimate at the end of the day.
Christa Innis: I think you make a really good point. It kind of ties back to people trying to impress others and not staying true to themselves.
If it’s in your budget or always your dream to have a big wedding, do it. Go all out. But if you’re going to be in $50,000 of debt, maybe rethink it. At the end of the day, the wedding is about celebrating your love, not pleasing everyone else.
Liz Fleming: You also have to consider cultural perspectives, right? In some cultures, big weddings are the norm, and there’s no other way. Like, that’s what you do. Conversely, some people don’t have big families, so they compensate by inviting all their close friends.
For them, a big wedding is worth it to bring all the people they care about together. So many variables go into the why behind someone’s wedding size. I’d love to see more people being respectful about it. You never know someone’s story or their why.
Christa Innis: A hundred percent. I always find that people who tune out the noise when planning and do what’s true to them are the most satisfied with their wedding.
So many people listen to everyone but themselves, then say, “I wish I could have a redo. I hated that it was so big, or so small.” Listen to your heart and plan for you.
Liz Fleming: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Boundaries. Yes. Boundaries are the name of the game. Okay, next topic.
Christa Innis: The next segment is called “Pick a Side: Wedding Drama Debates.” So, I started asking social media to send me their unpopular opinions. I’m going to read a few, and we can debate them.
The first one says, “I don’t like the idea of a first look. My husband had to wait to see me until I came down the aisle.”
Liz Fleming: Well, I am all about shock and awe, so I don’t love the first-look thing. It’s really like, I don’t know, it feels like it kind of defeats the purpose. I get it, it’s nice to have that one-on-one moment. But to have that moment together, like, in front of everyone you care about, it sends out an energy that cannot be replicated. It’s like next-level good vibes, and I feel like the world needs more of that, so I’m in the camp of no first look.
Christa Innis: Yeah, if I had to pick one, I would say no first look, too. We didn’t do a first look because I was like, I always pictured that first walk down the aisle. It just seemed more climactic for me. But I get it—like people that have done it for timing purposes or scheduling, or maybe they were really shy and just wanted to get it out of the way.
Christa Innis: Okay, this next one says, “I hate the bouquet toss after 25. Nobody wants to be fighting for a bouquet.”
Liz Fleming: Oh, I don’t know. Twenty-five? Twenty-five? Holy crap. So young. I love the bouquet toss. I think it’s a great way to gamify your day. At that point, you’re more than halfway through the day. Your people have eaten, your guests have eaten, and the dancing is starting to happen. It’s just fun and fast, quirky, and doesn’t take up a lot of time. Do it.
Christa Innis: Did you have anyone push people out of the way, elbowing others, or maybe you didn’t see it as the bride?
Liz Fleming: Not aggressively. It was just a kind of jockey. Everyone was a little tipsy. I’ve been pushed out of the way at weddings I attended—it’s been like a mosh pit sometimes—but at my wedding, it was tasteful.
Christa Innis: Some people get really into it. I was scratched once, and it was so intense. Like, guys, it doesn’t mean you’re actually gonna get married next!
Liz Fleming: Yeah, you know your people best. You know your audience. I think that’s something you can pull out of the bag as you see fit. If your guests are likely to get drunk and belligerent, maybe it’s not something you want to do. There are ways to modify those age-old traditions.
Christa Innis: Yeah. And if you’re not athletic like me, maybe don’t do it either. I always worried I’d throw it wrong and knock someone out!
Liz Fleming: Also, if you skip it, you save money on that extra bouquet—like a hundred bucks saved right there.
Christa Innis: Okay, this last one says, “Pregaming a dry wedding is disrespectful to the bride and groom.”
Liz Fleming: Yes. I think that’s super rude. If the bride and groom made that decision consciously, it must be for an important reason. Respect it, then go drink afterward. It’s their day, not yours. Grow up and show up for your people.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I’ve never been to a dry wedding, but if I knew it was dry, I wouldn’t pregame—it’s just weird to me.
Liz Fleming: Yeah, let’s do shots in the parking lot. No thanks. Also, I think it’s weird when people get blackout drunk at weddings. The pictures are ruined, it’s a safety issue, and someone always ends up taking care of them. Alcohol is not the cornerstone of why we’re here.
Christa Innis: So true. I hear stories all the time about someone being so drunk they can’t even walk down the aisle or finish a speech. Let’s just hold off a little if you know you can’t handle it.
Liz Fleming: That was a hard line for my husband and me on our wedding day—no pregaming. I think I had one glass of champagne, and he maybe had a beer, just something to shake the nerves. It’s okay to have a little touch of that, but it’s not about taking away from the day or everything you’ve planned.
Christa Innis: Honestly, I thought I’d have more champagne the morning of, but I didn’t even finish my glass. I was running around so much with hair, makeup, and checking on things. The guys, meanwhile, just had to put on a suit and shower!
Liz Fleming: Same here. I wasn’t even drunk at my wedding—there was just no time. But can I share my biggest regret from my wedding?
Christa Innis: Yes, please do!
Liz Fleming: My biggest regret was putting the bride and groom’s table near the buffet entrance. Why did we do that?
Christa Innis: Wait, so your food table was where you sat?
Liz Fleming: Yeah, it was, but it was spaced out enough that I thought it would be fine. So, we were in a ginormous barn, and it was very elegant, and we had this beautiful, long buffet-style line of food. Our table was on the edge of the dance floor, and there was probably a 10-foot gap between where people went to get the food and our table. I think in my head, I was like, in this way, we’ll:
a) Be able to eat.
b) Get to see more people without having to go around the room so much.
It was a giant event, and because we tried to do that, we only made it to four tables. People just kept talking and talking, and you only have so much time. But then when we sat down to try and eat, it was just like one person after another coming up to us, saying, “Congratulations, we love you guys.” And it’s like, I think I took one bite of food.
I mean, that’s a big expense, and we were so hungry and thirsty. Our cheeks hurt, our hands hurt. That was my biggest regret—not being more mindful of our placement and where we sat.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Liz Fleming: …Our placement and where we sat.
Christa Innis: That’s such a smart thing to say because I’ve never actually heard someone say that before, but it’s true. You get very drawn into conversations.
I know my husband actually had to stop me because I wanted to go up to everyone. I’m that person who feels guilty and thinks, “Oh my gosh, I didn’t say bye to so-and-so, even though I said hi to them earlier.” And he was like, “It’s okay. There are 150 people here. If you don’t say hi to one person, it’s going to be okay.”
I was like, “Okay.” But yeah, we did this thing called Mission Impossible, which was really cool. It was our photographer’s idea. They played Mission Impossible music, and the DJ announced that we were going to go to each table and take a picture with everyone.
It allowed people to feel like they saw you, and we just quickly moved. One side of the table gets behind the other side, so we could easily just get in there. It made everyone feel like they hung out with the bride and groom for a little bit.
Liz Fleming: Oh, I wish we did that. I feel like there were more than half of the people I didn’t even get to talk to. We had about 152 guests, and I truly thought we’d get around to everyone.
I mean, we tried, and I would have loved to have talked to everyone. Some people I hadn’t seen in years or ever met before, but you can only do so much.
Christa Innis: It’s—
Liz Fleming: …So hard.
Christa Innis: It’s so hard, but as long as you’re having a great time on your day and your guests are also benefiting from that, you’ve won. You’ve won the lottery in terms of the wedding day.
Helicopter Parents and Wedding Hijacks
Christa Innis: Yeah, absolutely. All right. Let’s jump into this week’s story submission.
As a reminder to everyone listening, I get regular stories sent to me all the time. I probably have like 300 that I haven’t even touched the surface on. So, this is a random story that I’ve not read yet. We’re just going to react together. And if you’re listening, thinking, I have a story to submit, you can submit it through the link in the show notes. We’re always taking new submissions.
All right.
When my husband and I got engaged, we were so excited. We were dating for a long time, so we didn’t want to wait too long to get married. We got engaged on May 1st and were talking about getting married around the end or middle of June.
Oh wow, that’s fascinating.
So then my husband could go to some family events with me as a couple at the beginning of July. We sat down with my then fiancé’s parents, and they were asking if we had picked a date for the wedding yet.
I told them we were thinking about June 22nd. They said, “That’s only a month and a half away. We want to have a lot of time to get everything done.”
I told them I knew where I was going to get my dress, and I knew from other family members that getting a dress would be no problem as long as I was going to rent it. I was also going to have fake flowers and make bouquets and boutonnieres myself, so we didn’t need to ask a florist in advance.
Liz Fleming: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Okay.
We were also not going to have our reception at an event center. We were planning on using a church for the reception, so we didn’t need to look for venues.
My father-in-law said, “That isn’t enough time to plan the other things that need to be done. And if we do it on July 22nd, then your fiancé’s older sister and her family, who live in Ohio, might not be able to attend since her husband is in the military. It would be hard for her to leave and come to the wedding.”
My fiancé and I had already talked about possible people who wouldn’t be able to attend the wedding. We came to the conclusion that it was our wedding, and if people couldn’t make it, then they couldn’t come.
My fiancé said, “Dad, we will just give people the date now so they can make arrangements.”
My father-in-law said, “That’s not how it works. You need to have everyone from the immediate family there for the wedding. So why don’t we do July 19th? Then your sister and her husband and family can come to the wedding since they will already be here.”
Why? Because they’re going to Disneyland that week.
Christa Innis: There’s a lot going on here.
Liz Fleming: Oh my God.
Christa Innis: There’s a lot of buildup here.
Liz Fleming: Poor bride.
Christa Innis: I know. Just getting ripped right from her. She knows what she wants. Leave her alone.
Liz Fleming: Yes.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh.
Christa Innis: Okay, here we go.
“That way you guys can have half of your honeymoon at Disneyland with all of us, which we would pay for. Wouldn’t that be fun?”
My then fiancé said, “Dad, we don’t really want to wait that long to get married since we’ve been dating so long. And we don’t really want to spend half of our honeymoon with you guys since it’s supposed to be just us.”
My future father-in-law said, “Oh, well, you’ll be in your own hotel room. You won’t be in the Airbnb with us in California, which I will pay for. You will also have a couple of days to yourself before the Disneyland trip. So you could go to St. George for a couple of days since it’s on the way to California.”
Liz Fleming: Oh my gosh. We should pause there.
Christa Innis: Wow. Helicopter much?
Liz Fleming: Geez.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Like, sure, yeah, that’s a quick engagement, but it sounds like they’ve already talked it through and figured it out. There’s no need to come in and say, “Well, let’s do it this day, and then you can have your honeymoon with us.”
Liz Fleming: Yes, that’s tricky. I’m seeing it from both angles here. The bride and groom know exactly what they want—signed, sealed, delivered. Awesome.
Most parents would be supportive of that. However, I get where the parents are coming from because it’s such a milestone, right? They’ve probably had this grand vision as parents over the last 20 or 30 years of how their child’s wedding would go and how they would contribute. They probably felt totally left out.
Christa Innis: Well—
Liz Fleming: In most weddings, the parents are pretty involved. They love to pay for certain things. It sounds like there was just a massive disconnect in family chemistry when it came to the wedding.
But for the honeymoon thing? That’s creepy. That’s weird.
Christa Innis: Well, and I feel like the weird part of it too is—because I totally get you—it’s like, yeah, they visualize this day and want to help their kid. But it almost sounds like they are catering to the sister and her husband a little bit more.
It’s like, “Well, they have a trip planned to Disneyland, so we should get married right before that.” It sounds like they want the couple to combine their vacation with the sister’s family’s plans to make it more convenient for them.
Liz Fleming: Yeah.
Christa Innis: It’s kind of weird.
Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s like they’re trying to make sure the sister, like the whole family, can be together. But as a military spouse, it doesn’t matter if you give a month lead time or ten months. The military is the military, and they might not be able to attend anyway. Like, they could just get called up for something.
Liz Fleming: Yeah.
Christa Innis: So that’s a little weird to me. But yeah, overall, it felt pretty disrespectful to react that way as someone related so closely to the bride and groom. It’s okay to have your opinions privately and maybe have that discussion. But to just insert yourself so directly into that moment? It just felt like she was being shut down at every turn. The poor thing.
Liz Fleming: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Oh my goodness. And I hope there’s more like—
Liz Fleming: Oh, there’s more?
Christa Innis: There’s more.
Liz Fleming: Oh heavens.
Christa Innis: My fiancé said, “What if we do it on the 27th of June? That’s a weekend, and my sister still might be able to come since it’s a weekend. Then we have two months for whatever other planning we need to do.”
Future father-in-law said, “No, your sister will not be able to come down that weekend either. Ohio is a long way, and it costs a lot of money for her to come down to Utah. July 19th will be best for all of us.”
So again, saying no.
My fiancé then looked at me and said, “We will need to talk about this more than just for a second.” We left the room and talked about what we would want to do.
I said, “I’m really frustrated. I understand if she can’t come, but they are making assumptions that she won’t be able to make it to our wedding. They’re kind of speaking for the sister at this point, not even allowing her to answer for herself. If she really wants to come, I think she can make it happen. If she doesn’t want to come, then she won’t. This is supposed to be our wedding day, not your parents’. I want to get married in June.”
Liz Fleming: Yeah, there’s so much that’s not said in this story. We don’t know the backstory of the bride and groom and why they selected that date. Maybe there was a timeline—financial, career, or health reasons—you just don’t know.
Christa Innis: Yeah, exactly.
Liz Fleming: If anyone in my family ever said something like that to us, I’d be like, “No. What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you high?” I value your opinion, but this is what we decided. Get over it.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Exactly. It almost sounds like a weird control thing because they’re so set in July. And I’m like, what’s the big difference between June and July? To me, nothing.
Liz Fleming: Yeah, nothing. It’s less than a month. And when he said the thing about “I’m paying for it,” that was definitely a power play.
Christa Innis: I hate that.
Liz Fleming: Totally. It’s like, “I’m paying for it, so you’ll do what I want.”
Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s so frustrating.
Liz Fleming: That’s tricky.
Christa Innis: So, after talking, the bride said, “I don’t want to cause drama in your family. And I feel like if we push for the 27th, it will just make things complicated with your parents. I guess we will have to do the 19th and just not make your parents go into a frenzy.”
My fiancé said, “Are you sure that’s what you want to do?”
I said, “It’s not what I want to do, but I guess it’s what we have to do to keep the peace.”
Liz Fleming: Ugh.
Christa Innis: They went back into the room and said, “I suppose we’ll do July 19th.”
The bride added, “I have other stories from my wedding, but this is already so long. Message me if you have any questions.”
Liz Fleming: Oh my gosh. That makes me so sad.
Christa Innis: I know.
Liz Fleming: She was a baller about this. She was very clear about what she wanted, set her boundaries, and had the courage to say, “That’s not what I want.” And yet, she’s just put in this tricky position. Imagine if you were in her shoes, up against that mounting pressure from in-laws. Starting off your marriage with that kind of dark energy? Yikes.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I get why she felt the pressure to change her mind, but it sucks that she had to.
Liz Fleming: Yeah.
Christa Innis: All right. I think I did okay with reading that. I have to be honest—one time, I read a confession on Facebook, and someone commented, “Before you post anything, you should make sure you know how to read.”
Liz Fleming: People are so nice.
Christa Innis: Right?
Liz Fleming: That was a really long read. Way to crush it.
Christa Innis: And I should have probably broken it up a little bit.
Liz Fleming: No, I think it was great. I like that you read it in chunks so that we could talk about it along the way.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I’m learning as I go here. Okay, I know we’re overtime, so I’ll make this next section a little shorter. It’s called the weekly confessions game. I’ll just do one confession, and we’ll rate it.
Okay, so these people are sending me their confessions on Instagram now, and we’ll rate it from 1 to build tea and 10 to absolute chaos. And if you have something to add, feel free.
Okay, this is crazy: “My dad was my landlord and told me to use rent as my wedding gift, then made me pay it back the next month.”
Liz Fleming: People are so weird. What the fuck? I guess. I don’t, like, what? Why are you paying it back? That’s not a gift. That’s a loan.
Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s literally a loan.
Liz Fleming: An interest-free loan.
Christa Innis: Positioned as a gift. People are so strange.
Liz Fleming: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Okay, I’m just going to read this other one real quick, and we’ll close out.
“Yes. In-laws insisted on staying at the hotel and then arrived one minute before the entrance of the bridal party.”
Liz Fleming: That’s making a statement.
Christa Innis: Yeah, that was done on purpose.
Liz Fleming: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. This is crazy. Thank you so much for coming on, Liz. I know. I’m like, what other stories can we read? This was so much fun. I really enjoyed having you come on and catching up. Can you tell us again where everyone can follow you, what other projects you’re working on, and all that good stuff?
Liz Fleming: Yeah, of course. Everyone can find me on Instagram—that’s my favorite. So, you can find me at @thesmalltownsocial on Instagram or at @MsLizFleming. I have two accounts.
And then, yeah, all the links are there. I share a ton of content. You can work with me one-on-one in coaching.
I think the biggest thing I have coming up, even if you’re not local to North Carolina, is a women’s personal development gathering called GlowCon on March 20th, 2025. The majority of women are here in North Carolina, but I have some women flying in from as far as Ohio, California, Washington, Virginia, and Vermont.
So it’s really grown. This is the second time I’m doing it, but it’s such a beautiful day of community, connection, getting to know yourself better, and just having some fun on the first day of spring.
So, a lot of stuff going on for little ol’ me, but I would love to connect with you all, and this has been wonderful, Christa. Thank you.
Christa Innis: Of course! Yay, I’m so excited. This is awesome.
The Wedding Dress Scandal That Broke the Internet with Raylee Rukavina
What would you do if your wedding dress arrived looking nothing like what you ordered—just days before the big day?
In this episode, Raylee Rukavina shares the jaw-dropping story of how her custom wedding dress turned into a disaster and sparked unexpected TikTok drama. From communication breakdowns with the designer to a last-minute dress search, Raylee takes us through the rollercoaster of emotions she experienced leading up to her wedding.
But it didn’t stop there—when her designer took to social media to twist the story, Raylee found herself at the center of a viral controversy. Things took an even more unexpected turn, leaving her to navigate a whirlwind of emotions and tough decisions.
Beyond the drama, we dive into wedding etiquette hot takes, from outdated traditions to handling plus-ones and unexpected family opinions.
Whether you’re a bride-to-be or just love a good wedding story, this episode is packed with real talk, lessons learned, and a bit of chaos.
Episode Chapter Markers
00:00 Introduction
00:59 Wedding Planning and Challenges
01:58 TikTok Drama Unfolds
12:30 Aftermath and Reflections
20:27 The Fake Flowers Dilemma
20:58 Unpopular Opinions: Wedding Drama
23:22 Wedding Submission Story: Dress Shopping Disaster
31:05 Weekly Confessions: Rating the Chaos
Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments
- How Raylee’s gown turned out completely different from what she ordered.
- The frustrating lack of updates and missed deadlines from the designer.
- How a false accusation on TikTok led to online hate and doxxing.
- How Raylee managed to stay focused on her big day despite the controversy.
- How she found a new gown just in time.
- Outdated traditions and how to handle family dynamics.
- The dangers of social media drama and public callouts.
- Raylee’s advice for brides dealing with vendor issues and last-minute wedding disasters.
Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode
- ”Once you’re married, you’re there for life. You better start liking me or we figure it out.” – Raylee Rukavina
- “I really tried not to think about it at all. I didn’t want any part of the social media on my wedding day.” – Raylee Rukavina
- ”Even if a parent helps to pay for a wedding, they don’t have as much say because it still isn’t their wedding. – Christa Innis
- “I just can’t imagine as a wedding vendor that makes wedding dresses for a living, putting something so publicly out there and putting your name out there when that’s not even the full story.” – Christa Innis
- “I don’t know how some of these people do it when they say like their fiancé’s family or partner’s family are horrible to them. That’s supposed to be like an extension of your family.” – Christa Innis
About Raylee
Raylee Rukavina is a TikTok influencer, entrepreneur, and hairstylist from Colorado with a passion for golf, weightlifting, and all things beauty. Recently married, she found herself in the middle of an unexpected viral controversy when a custom wedding dress disaster took an unexpected turn on social media.
Raylee shares her firsthand experience navigating vendor issues, handling online hate, and staying focused on what truly mattered—her wedding day.
Follow Raylee Rukavina:
Join the Drama with Christa Innis:
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Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.
Submit your story today: Story Submission Form
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A Team Dklutr Production
Blog Transcript:
Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Christa Innis: Hi, Lex. Thank you so much for joining me today. I’m so excited to have you on the podcast, this brand-new podcast that I decided to venture into. You are a bit of an internet personality. You do some awesome skits. And so, just to get started, can you just tell us a little bit about you, how you kind of got started, and, yeah, what you kind of enjoy doing on social media?
From ER Skits to Viral Wedding Stories
Lex Harper: Yeah, of course. So, like you said, my name is Lex. I started doing TikTok at the beginning of this year. I’d say I probably started in February or March. As you can see too with my wedding pictures, I got married this year. I kind of have a background in social media. One of the degrees I have from school is digital media production.
So, I’ve worked with businesses before about just having their brand and content be online and everything like that. But I never did anything from my personal social media platforms. And I kind of got thrown into it this year. It was really funny because I was actually working in the ER at the beginning of the year.
If people have been following me from the beginning, they know that my videos and skits originally started with ER horror stories and kind of reenacting what came in. But it was more so like if someone had an embarrassing situation, they’d be like, “I don’t want to go get help for that because this is embarrassing. It’s never happened to anybody else before.” And I would kind of show, like, if you come in with this, this is what we would do to treat it and kind of go along the lines of that.
Then people started sending me their horror stories about being in the ER and doctor’s offices and everything like that. And then I had one message that stuck out to me. It was this woman, and she said, “Hey, I have a really bad mother-in-law story. I personally can’t post it because all of the family follows me on everything, and I don’t want to start any more drama. But I need to know if this is, like, my personal situation and I’m overreacting, or if this is something that’s toxic for a mother-in-law.”
I made that video, and it went viral. I got so many other messages about it, and that kind of just took off from there.
Christa Innis: Wow. I hear this all the time too. You start one way on social media with what kind of makes sense for you and your story, and then the algorithm tells you what people want to see. I love that it kind of turned in that direction. So, it started with people sending you their mother-in-law stories—it didn’t start with your own drama or issues with your own wedding, right?
Lex Harper: No, so I’m very thankful. I have an amazing mother-in-law. I’ve had some people I dated in the past whose mothers were questionable, to say the least, and I had some experiences with that. But the mother-in-law I have is absolutely fantastic.
When I started posting these videos, everyone thought they were my original stories at the beginning. So, in addition to all of the messages being like, “Hey, these are my stories,” I was getting so many DMs that were like, “Girl, you need to leave. That’s not healthy. This is not good.”
Everyone was worried for me. I even had to have a talk with her too. I said, “You know none of these are about you, right?” She watches all of them. She follows me on TikTok. She laughs, sends them to me, or puts them in our family group chat.
If we ever have anything going on, she’ll say, ‘I could react like this. You guys should be lucky.’ And we’re like, ‘We are very thankful that you are not like that.’
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh, I love that. I had the same thing happen. I would have people comment on certain platforms—TikTok is pretty understanding about skits, but platforms like Facebook would say, “Why are you airing your dirty laundry out here? You should go talk to her.”
I had to tell them, “Oh no, these are not about my own mother-in-law. I have an amazing mother-in-law.” She said the same thing to me when I kept my TikTok private for a while. Like, no one knew I was doing it to grow at first. When it started growing and I shared it on other platforms, she followed me on Instagram and said, “The first time I saw it, my heart dropped. I thought you were talking about me.”
And I was like, “Oh my gosh, no, never.” It’s funny how people just assume.
So with your wedding this year, you were a 2024 bride. What was the most surprising thing when it came to planning or did you experience any kind of like, I don’t know, new lesson when it came to your wedding
Staying True to Your Wedding Vision
Lex Harper: I think the biggest thing that I learned with wedding planning was that I had to stand firm on what I wanted because I’m very laid back, go with the flow, just kind of like, yeah, whatever, we can do that. Or like, we need it, we don’t need it, I’ll be fine. My husband’s the exact same way. He’s like, “We can do whatever you want. I don’t have a preference.”
He definitely wanted to help; he wanted to know what was going on. So, I would be talking about, like, our flowers or something, and he’d be like, “Oh, can we put these in there?” I’m like, “Yeah, sure.” His favorite color is actually pink. Don’t know why, it has been since he was little.
So, our wedding theme—it was instead of being 50 shades of gray, it was 50 shades of pink. All of our guests wore different shades of pink. He had a gray suit and a pink and purple tie, and he had a lot of fun with it.
A lot of people told me because I was 24 when I got married, “That’s too young. Are you sure you want to do this?” They kind of tried to scare me out of it. But those were people we knew as family friends, not people involved in our relationship. We like to keep our relationship very private.
If people are like, “Oh, are you guys together?” it’s obviously like, “A hundred percent, that’s my person.” But nobody really knows the ins and outs of our relationship because I just kind of made it better that way.
We had people telling me, “You’re too young to get married. You’re only 24.” And I’m sitting there like, “You guys are going to lose your mind when I tell you my husband’s only 20, and we’re getting married.” So, we do have that little bit of an age gap.
I noticed when we were planning, people were like, “This is going to be the most stressful day of your life. You’re not going to remember anything. It’s going to be so much to try to plan.” But we had the complete opposite experience with that.
His granddad has Alzheimer’s, so we wanted to keep the wedding very, very small. We’re both very introverted too, so that was really weird branching out and doing TikTok for me. I’m like, “I have a lot of people watching me right now.”
But we had a very small wedding—less than 50 people. It was family-only. We did not have any wedding parties. I think we had a lot of things that were considered traditional that we didn’t do. People were like, “Are you sure about this?”
Christa Innis: I know. I think it’s so interesting when people put their own pressures and expectations on other people because it’s like, you don’t know their relationship. You don’t know their personality or what they want to showcase in their wedding.
I had the same thing where people were constantly like, “Oh, you’re going to stress out so much. You need to do this, and you need to do that.” I love that you set your boundaries like, “Nope, this is what I’m doing. This is what makes sense for us,” because it’s so important to be on the same page as your partner.
Everyone else will come in, but you don’t have to change things for everybody else.
Lex Harper: We didn’t want our wedding day to be stressful like that. I don’t know if I’ve told anyone in my family this, but my brother was our officiant for the wedding because we, again, wanted to keep it a small family wedding.
We signed our papers and everything, but those weren’t our real papers. So, we actually got married on a different day. We went down to the courthouse in sweatpants, and that’s how we got married.
That was just a lot easier for us, and it made everything go a lot smoother because it was kind of already done. So, we were like, “Breathe and have a good day.” It was fairly simple.
The place where we got married was a family-run business, and they just opened up their wedding venue that year. If it had been in a big city, the venue itself probably would have been like $20,000 to $30,000. But because we wanted a small countryside wedding, I think it was like $6,000. That’s pretty good.
Christa Innis: Yeah. It sounds like you knew what you guys wanted to do, and I think that’s amazing. It’s so easy to get caught up in a million opinions around you.
I find brides are most confident and happy with their wedding day when they stay true to themselves. I see it in the comments all the time, and I’m sure you see it in your comments too. People say, “I wish I would have done that. I hate that this person told me to do this.”
Lex Harper: I think we had a lot of people trying to tell us what to do too because I’m the youngest in my family. I have two older brothers, so I’m the only girl. He’s the youngest in his family. He has two older brothers, so I’m the only girl that’s getting married.
We’re both the babies of our families that are getting married, and we’re the first ones to get married. So, everyone was like, “Oh, we’ll plan everything for you guys.”
We originally said that we didn’t really want to have a wedding because we just wanted to build a house and start life. And they were like, “No, you need to celebrate.”
Christa Innis: You took a little bit, and then you were like, “Okay, so we’re going to do that.” Okay, I want to jump into some of your own stories that you might’ve heard or your wedding hot takes.
So first, I know you kind of said the mother-in-law story that was sent to you. Do you have any, like, a wedding guest or being part of a wedding, a crazy story or something you’ve heard that just made your jaw drop?
Wedding Chaos, Hot Takes, and Child-Free Decisions
Lex Harper: I think my first year that I moved out to Georgia, I went to a wedding because I grew up in Arizona and had never left the state. Then in the middle of COVID, I decided, “I’m going to move all the way across the country and go to school in Georgia.” So I went out there. It was my first year, and I was working at a country club. I met a lot of the members, and I got invited to a wedding as a plus one.
The ceremony was very nice, very pretty. Then it got to the reception, and I was like, “Oh, okay.” It had this rave techno theme going on. I thought it was really cool—I’d never seen anything like it before. They made the announcement: “The open bar is officially open, so you guys can go crazy.”
I don’t drink—I’ve seen people have a lot of bad experiences with alcohol—so I stayed away. Within two hours of the wedding starting, people were already completely wasted. I thought, “Oh, that’s not a good look.”
The best man gets up to give a speech, but he was very intoxicated, slurring his words and saying all the wrong stuff. The groom tried to take the mic and said, “Hey, let’s just sit down, it’s okay.” The best man shoved him back, and the groom fell onto the table with the cake.
The cake ended up on the groom, and the best man started laughing. He licked some frosting off his finger and said, “At least you picked a good cake flavor. Can’t say the same thing about your wife.” I was just sitting there like, “Is this actually happening right now?”
Christa Innis: No, that’s like something you see in a movie. I cannot believe that.
Lex Harper: It was so bad. They’re still married, though. They were going to come to our wedding because they became really good family friends.
Christa Innis: I would be livid at the best man. That’s one of the things you always hear—if you’re going to give a speech, don’t drink too much beforehand. Keep it classy. If you can’t handle your liquor, maybe don’t give a speech.
Lex Harper: I’ve seen a lot of 2025 brides now posting their rules for weddings, kind of like, “These are my rules for my wedding.” They’ve been getting a lot of backlash for it.
One thing that upset people with our wedding was that it was child-free. That’s just what we wanted to do. It wasn’t about purposely excluding kids, but if there’s only one child who’s four, she’s not going to want to hang out with all the adults.
People online have been saying, “That’s so selfish. You can’t do that. Weddings are about family.” And the brides are like, “It’s my day.”
Christa Innis: Whenever I post about child-free weddings or do a skit about it, it always goes so controversial. People go crazy over it. I think it’s really about respecting what people want for their own weddings.
At our wedding, we only invited our nieces and nephews, so there were seven kids total. We didn’t invite friends’ kids or anyone under 18, just because it made sense for us.
Lex Harper: I’ve noticed the same backlash happens with destination weddings. People get very upset about those, too.
Debating Wedding Etiquette
Christa Innis: That’s so funny that you brought that up because I just saw someone comment on one of the videos saying, “It’s so, so selfish of someone to want a destination wedding because they’re asking for so much money.” And I was like, what? Like, I’ve been invited to a destination wedding, and I just couldn’t make it. I just said no, and I wasn’t offended. I just don’t get it—being offended by other people’s wedding choices.
And I think, too, it’s like people want to complain so much about how other people are choosing to do their day. Like, “Oh, that’s so expensive,” or “The way they’re asking bridesmaids is the wrong way.” And it’s like, it’s not your wedding. But if you were asked and you want to say no, just say no. Or… yeah, people like to complain, I guess.
Okay, so really quick before we get into the wedding submission that I want us to blind react to, I added this fun segment called “Pick a Side” on wedding drama kind of debates. I know we’re kind of just talking about some big ones, but this first one: Is it ever okay to uninvite someone to your wedding? Why or why not?
Lex Harper: I’d say yes. Because if you look at, like, realistic timelines, most people won’t get married for, like, nine months to a year. Sometimes even longer than that. So if there’s something dramatic that happens, like, in their timeline, I think it’s okay to uninvite them.
The one thing I would say it’s not okay to do—I’ve had some stories sent in to me, or I’ve known people who were like the beige moms you see all over TikTok, with this aesthetic of “This is what I have, this is what it needs to be.”
I’ve seen a story where they uninvited one of the bridesmaids because she got pregnant. She was supposed to be the maid of honor, and the bride didn’t want her to stand up there with her when she was eight months pregnant because it would “draw attention away” from her. They had been friends since they were six years old—a 20-year friendship—and she uninvited her for that.
That, I would say, is not okay. That’s true colors showing. But if it’s something like falling out of touch, friends drifting apart—it happens all the time—I think that’s okay.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Lex Harper: Yeah.
Christa Innis: No, I totally agree with that.
I think, too, like if it’s a situation where maybe someone was dating when you invited them and you were closer to the person they were dating, but they broke up, and you’re like, “Well, I’m not even close to that person anymore.” I could see that being a reason. Like, “It’d be kind of weird if they came now.”
Or if there’s just, like, weird vibes with someone, like you’re not getting along anymore, I totally agree with that.
What’s your opinion on giving guests a plus one? I know you had a small wedding, so what did you do about the plus ones?
Wedding Etiquette and Drama Unfolds
Lex Harper: Just because we did a family-only wedding, we didn’t have anybody do a plus one because our biggest thing was we didn’t want to be meeting people for the first time on our wedding day. We kind of did a wedding weekend with it, and it’s funny because my husband was still in school. So, he got Thursday and Friday off, and we got married on Thursday.
Then we could have Friday, Saturday, Sunday with our family and everything like that. We got married in Tennessee, so we were like, we want to be able to walk around, enjoy the city, and enjoy family time. He went right back to school on Monday.
So we didn’t have anybody to have plus ones because of how small we kept it. We were also trying to keep it small because his granddad has Alzheimer’s, and having that many people in general—especially new people he doesn’t know—makes him uneasy. We wanted to stay clear of strangers and everything for him.
I think it really depends on the relationship they have if they get a plus one. If it’s a new relationship within six months, I don’t really think they will get a plus one. You’ll have other times to do stuff together, like family events, but it doesn’t need to be at the wedding.
I don’t want to be looking through my wedding pictures and having to crop someone out. The running joke in my family is when we take group pictures, the significant others—whatever they are—always go on the end of the pictures until you’re married. So if you break up, they can just get cropped out. That’s just always how it’s been.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. No, I definitely agree. I don’t think plus ones should be a guaranteed thing.
I think it definitely depends on the type of wedding, the relationship, and maybe a cutoff too. If you give everyone a plus one, your wedding’s going to double. And maybe your 16-year-old cousin shouldn’t bring her boyfriend she’s been dating for a month. So definitely think things through like that.
Okay, before we get too late, I want to read this story submission. It’s not too crazy long or anything. As I read it, we’ll just react and maybe respond at the end.
Here we go. And I’ve not read this—I have my husband helping me out, and he’s pasting them in here. So I’m going to react with you.
This story says:
“I met my now-husband, boyfriend at the time, in August 2022. And at the end of September, one of his best friends was getting married. Since we were newly dating, he asked the groom if I could come to the reception only. I didn’t need a seat, a plate—I don’t drink—I would just come to dance.
I showed up and met all of his friends, and one of the friends’ girlfriends, in particular, was overly friendly and made me feel welcome. I immediately saw through it because she gave me major pick-me vibes. She was one of the guys, the type of girl who was the only one allowed in the group chats.”
Christa Innis: The only one to come to guys’ nights. All the get-togethers had to be at her house. Her wedding was two weeks after this wedding, and that’s all she talked about with me at the wedding—how much better her wedding was going to be, how good the food and music were going to be, and how they had top-shelf alcohol in an open bar instead of a cash bar.
So, first and foremost, talking about your own wedding coming up at a new wedding is so tacky. I think that’s so wrong.
Lex Harper: Very much. Even if it already happened and you’re comparing it to this one, that’s just not okay. Everybody has a different background and everything, so your tastes are automatically going to be different. But you also don’t know the financial position they’re in.
And then if it’s better than your wedding—for example, if your budget was 20,000 and theirs was 40,000—you can always find something to be bitter about. You’re like, “Oh, well, I don’t like this, it’s tacky, it’s cheesy,” and it’s like, okay. You know? Exactly. It doesn’t matter.
Christa Innis: Right. Yeah. I know. I just feel like, what a… I don’t know, I just can’t imagine being at someone’s wedding and criticizing what they’re doing with their completely different setup.
All right, let’s see what else happens here. Fast forward—I got to her wedding late because my sister’s rehearsal dinner was that night.
That sounds like a very crazy, busy weekend. I arrived at the start of the reception. Her friend was so drunk, she was taken away in an ambulance.
Lex Harper: Oh my gosh.
Christa Innis: Apparently, that’s a normal occurrence for her because no one batted an eye as she was put onto the stretcher. Oh my God. At what point is it like, okay, maybe this is not a good place. Maybe she shouldn’t be drinking at an event that happens normally.
Lex Harper: Either. If they’re letting you continue to do that, they need to have an intervention or something and be like, “Hey!”
Christa Innis: Yeah, like, I don’t know if this is right… what we should be doing. Oh my gosh, okay. As the night went on, the bride got sloppy drunk, her friends were fighting, their DJ canceled at the last minute so their feelings weren’t great, and we eventually just left.
That, again, sounds like a movie scene.
Lex Harper: That’s karma for talking about the other girl’s wedding.
Christa Innis: Yeah, literally, like she’s talking so high and mighty about her own wedding, and then it’s like, your top-shelf liquor got you a little too sloppy.
Fast forward two weeks later, and another couple of their friends were getting married. Tell me why she talked about her own wedding during the entire cocktail hour and dinner.
Lex Harper: No.
Christa Innis: It didn’t even faze her. Girl, you screwed up at your own wedding, and now you’re going to… I think a lot of it comes from your own, maybe insecurities or… I don’t know.
Lex Harper: I think people get so used to and comfortable with lying to themselves to make themselves feel better. They’re like, “Oh, this happened, but it wasn’t that bad.” You’re like, “We’re remembering these two completely different ways.”
It’s good for you to put an interesting spin on it, but you remember this much when this much happened.
Christa Innis: Exactly. Yeah, they’re just picking out pieces of what makes sense or what they want to remember.
So, she says, “We never really clicked.”
Like I said, she gave off Pick Me vibes, and I didn’t really want a friendship with her. Not to mention, she screamed at me when she found out I was pregnant before she was! Is this girl? This is terrible. And told me we were supposed to be pregnant together. We weren’t even close friends. What? I wouldn’t even say that to my closest friend.
Christa Innis: Maybe in a joking way, but like definitely not someone I barely know.
Lex Harper: That’s pretty creepy. And then, like, the kids are born and she’s like, “They’re gonna get married.” Like, they’re not gonna be friends. Yeah.
Christa Innis: Yeah. “We’re gonna hang out every day.” Oh my gosh. Anyways, I can’t wait to see what you do with this story.
I don’t want to give real names or defining clues because this one was a doozy. Oh my gosh. I cannot. That is insane.
That was a good one to read because sometimes I read stories, and I’m like, it can go one of two ways. This one, like, constantly things happen. Man, girl, I wonder if she hasn’t—I might need to reach out to her and see if she has any updates of, like, this girl’s trying to reach out to her.
Weekly Confessions: Rating the Chaos
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. All right. So we don’t have much time left. I don’t want this to kick us off, but I want to end with reading some weekly confessions. So I started asking my Instagram followers to share their weekly confessions. So what we’re going to do is play a little drama confession game. I’m going to read the confession, and then I want you to rate it from one to 10—one being mild tea and 10 being absolute chaos.
So I’ve got three here. I’m going to read to you, and I’ve not read them yet. So let’s see what we got. Okay. First one:
Christa Innis: “Okay. Mother-in-law gave me the bra she wore on her wedding night for the next time Hubs and I had a special night.”
Lex Harper: It’s just so uncomfortable. Oh, my God. Can we say like 25? Yeah, for real. And that, like, does she want her to tell her husband and be like, “You’re in the middle of it.” And they’re like, “This is your mom’s bra. Yeah, this is your mom.”
Christa Innis: What? Tell your husband, “Hey, we wore it last night.” Like, weird.
Christa Innis: All right, confession two: “My mother-in-law forgot the rings on purpose on our wedding day in hopes her son would change his mind.”
Lex Harper: That’d be like a 10. I’d be so upset.
Christa Innis: Yeah. When I read this, I’m like, did they know the mother-in-law had ill feelings towards them? Because I’d be like, I would never be giving her the rings.
Lex Harper: Buster with that. For our rings at our wedding, it was so funny because I, like—obviously the girls get engagement rings and everything. We had an engagement party back in Arizona, and my husband wanted to wear a ring for it, so I got him some rubber silicone ones. And he never took it off after the engagement party, and I never thought anything of it. So we’re up at the altar getting married, and I go to put his ring on, and he still has his other ring on. I’m like—
Christa Innis: He’s—
Lex Harper: Like, what?
Christa Innis: Yeah. I love it.
Lex Harper: It’s so comfy for him. He didn’t want to take it off.
Christa Innis: I love it. I wouldn’t trust you with that. We held our rings the whole time.
Lex Harper: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Oh, exactly.
Christa Innis: All right. And last one—and I’m hoping this doesn’t cut me off. I think we should be fine. Okay: “Mother-in-law got a room right next to ours for wedding night. We changed it, and she got grumpy and then teased me.”
Christa Innis: Why do you want the room next to your son and his new wife?
Lex Harper: Uh-uh. No. No.
Christa Innis: Those were—couldn’t deal with that at all. Really, I think those were all like 11 plus, at least.
Lex Harper: All right. So bad.
Christa Innis: Those were awesome. Oh my gosh. Well, thank you for coming on and reacting with me. I’m so excited to share this because these were some great stories, and you had some awesome ones yourself.
Christa Innis: Where can everyone follow you on social media and see more of your amazing content?
Lex Harper: They can follow me on TikTok. My TikTok is L-E-X-X underscore Harper. H-A-R-P-E-R-O-1. I don’t even know what my Instagram is. It should be the same, but it’s not. I know it’s—
Christa Innis: Not. And you can send them to me too, and I will make sure they’re in the show notes as well.
Lex Harper: Yeah, my Instagram one’s long, so I’ll send you that one. Okay.
Lex Harper: But I was gonna ask you something too. I’ve been getting so many comments and DMs and everything. They’re like, “You two need to be doing story times together. Like, you need a collab. You need to do this.” So do you care if I take a picture and put like a teaser, like on my story for it, and be like—
Christa Innis: Yeah, of course. Yeah.
Christa Innis: And then I hope this doesn’t cut out, but yeah, of course. Absolutely. You can do that.
Christa Innis: And when this is all done too, I’ll send you an email with some clips that you can share as well and like tease it and all the links and all that.
Lex Harper: Awesome.
Christa Innis: Well, thank you so much. It was so nice meeting you.
Lex Harper: Nice meeting you too.
Christa Innis: All right. Bye.
Vows, Chaos, and Mother-in-Law Mayhem with Lucette Brown
What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever witnessed at a wedding?
From mother-in-law meltdowns to guests causing a scene on the dance floor, weddings are full of unforgettable moments—and sometimes, outright chaos!
In this episode, Christa sits down with TikTok creator and former event planner Lucette Brown, the creative force behind the viral skits at “Events and Affairs.” Lucette shares her journey from behind-the-scenes wedding planning to creating hilarious content inspired by the quirky and dramatic world of weddings.
Tune in as they chat about cultural differences in wedding traditions, hilarious stories that inspired Lucette’s skits, and tips for keeping the dance floor packed. Whether you’re planning your big day or just love a good laugh, this episode will have you hooked!
Listen now and prepare for a fun dive into the world of wedding chaos and creativity.
Episode Chapter Markers
00:00 Introduction and Greetings
01:28 Getting to Know the Guest
03:42 Crazy Wedding Stories
07:35 Wedding Traditions and Hot Takes
26:55 Shocking Wedding Drama Unfolds
27:28 Family Tensions and Broken Promises
31:18 Uninvited Guests and Unexpected Chaos
40:37 Confessions and Final Thoughts
Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments
- Lucette’s transition from event planning to creating viral TikTok skits.
- Why she thinks wedding favors are outdated and unnecessary.
- Hilarious and jaw-dropping mother-in-law stories, including one with armed security!
- Differences between Australian and American wedding traditions.
- Tips for keeping the dance floor packed at weddings.
- The rise of cocktail-style receptions and their benefits.
- How family dynamics can shape—and sometimes derail—a wedding day.
- The importance of staying true to your vision for your wedding.
Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode
- “There’s always going to be opinions no matter what you do, so you might as well just do what you want because you’re never going to make everyone happy.” – Lucette Brown
- “I think the hardest thing with weddings is to get everyone to the dance floor. Once you’ve got them, they tend not to leave.” – Lucette Brown
- “I do think they’re nice to have that intimate moment with just the photographer and the couple.” – Lucette Brown
- “Weddings bring out true colors—whether that’s friends or family.” – Christa Innis
- “If you don’t want people to come, then don’t invite them.” – Christa Innis
About Lucette
Lucette Brown is a marketing professional with over 15 years of experience in the industry, focusing on digital and interactive channels. She has worked with senior staff members to achieve record sales, company growth, and strategic objectives. Lucette has extensive experience in wedding and event planning, which she translates into creative content through her TikTok and Instagram account.
She also has training from Second City and iO Theater in Chicago, where she developed her storytelling skills. Currently based in Australia, Lucette continues to work in marketing and create content about the wedding and events industry.
Follow Lucette Brown:
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Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!
Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.
Submit your story today: Story Submission Form
Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!
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A Team Dklutr Production
Blog Transcript:
Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Christa Innis: Hi, Lucette. Thank you so much for joining me today. I’m so happy and excited to talk to you. After seeing your videos, I feel like I know part of your story.
Lucette Brown: Lots of characters, which I kind of like.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I’m riding in the same boat with you. It’s fun to play characters because you can act certain ways, and yeah, it’s like your safe space.
Lucette Brown: Exactly.
Christa Innis: And you are in Australia right now, so what’s the time difference? I don’t even…
Lucette Brown: It’s one o’clock on the 5th of December, so Thursday. Thursday, one o’clock.
Christa Innis: Okay. I’m glad we found a time that worked out for us. Well, I’m so excited to have you. Like I said, I feel like we’re very similar in what we do on social media. So I had to have you on. I know when I posted about doing a podcast, so many people tagged you because they just love your content. That was so cool.
Before we get started, can you share a little bit about yourself and how you got involved in making content and so much more?
Creative Beginnings
Lucette Brown: Yeah, so I got started in the industry a long time ago. I was in the industry for about 13 years, and then I had my daughter, who’s now three. Work-life balance didn’t quite align with it at the time, so I’ve since kind of left the industry.
It was probably seven months ago now that I decided to make a TikTok skit. The idea behind Events and Affairs has been there since 2016 when I lived in Chicago. I went to Second City and iO Theater and came up with the concept, which was like a TV series. I created the characters, and it just sat there waiting to do something with it.
Then I finally got the courage to make a TikTok. I thought, if people like it, they like it. If they don’t, I’ll just make it for myself. And yeah, the rest is history.
Christa Innis: I love that. That’s the best way to do it. Someone was just asking me recently about TikTok, and I said, at some point, you have to make the jump and just be like, “You know what? I’m gonna do it and not care what people think.”
If they watch it and like it, cool—that’s awesome. If they don’t, then it was fun to experiment with, you know?
Lucette Brown: A hundred percent. It was just a fun, creative outlet. Thankfully, it seems people are enjoying it.
Christa Innis: People love the skits. They love those skits.
Lucette Brown: It’s fun. As you would know, there are so many stories in the industry and so many chaotic moments that you experience.
Christa Innis: Exactly, yeah, definitely. So, talking about chaotic moments and hot topics, let’s hear any crazy stories that you have. People love to listen to those crazy stories. What’s probably one of the craziest or most outlandish things that you’ve seen or heard before?
When Chaos Takes Center Stage
Christa Innis: What’s probably one of the craziest or most outlandish things that you’ve seen or heard before?
Lucette Brown: As you would know, there are a lot. But the one that always springs to mind is the mother-in-law who had security at her daughter’s wedding.
She asked for armed security, which in Australia, especially Melbourne, is just not a thing. It was a big no, absolutely not. She wanted security at her wedding, and that raised alarm bells for us. We were like, why is she wanting security for your wedding?
It turns out she was a bit of an attention seeker. There wasn’t any real reason why she would want them. The more we got to know the couple and the family, the more we realized it was what they had been telling us. Her ex-husband was bringing his new girlfriend, and she didn’t like that. So, she wanted security on the day. She also came dressed head-to-toe in a white, very bridal suit and had her own flowers.
Christa Innis: So it starts bad and keeps getting worse.
Lucette Brown: Yeah, and then she left probably an hour into the wedding.
Christa Innis: Wait, and then she left early too? So she just wanted to make this grand appearance, make it all about her, and then leave?
Lucette Brown: Yeah, I’m out.
Christa Innis: So what was the audience waiting for?
Lucette Brown: It was so awkward. She said she needed to be protected from certain family members, which, as we said, was alarming for us. But they assured us it was literally just her wanting to create the day about herself, which she did. It was hard to miss her walking around the venue with two security guards hovering behind her.
Christa Innis: Wait, so these security guards were following her to protect her? Was the bride okay with it?
Lucette Brown: The bride was like, whatever, it is what it is. The husband was not. I think his exact words were, “You do not feed them. They do not get drinks. We did not pay for them to be here.”
As soon as she and the guards left, it was a different wedding. The stress was gone. Everyone was relaxed and enjoying themselves. But while she was there, it was tense.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. These stories are just shocking. I’ve only seen or heard some crazy things in person, but this is insane. And to leave early at your own daughter’s wedding?
Lucette Brown: So many people thought there must be a reason why. After meeting her and the family, it was evident she just wanted the attention, especially coming dressed head-to-toe in a white bridal suit with flowers.
Christa Innis: Wow. And her own flowers? Unreal. Oh my gosh. Okay.
So I want to jump into some wedding hot takes and I was kind of thinking it’d be interesting to know too, like the, I hear a lot of times, like people comment, like differences between countries and cold, like customs when it comes to weddings. Yeah. So I’m curious, as you lived in the States for a little bit too.
Wedding Differences
Christa Innis: Are there any major differences you see between American weddings and Australian weddings?
Lucette Brown: I think the biggest thing, and especially when people comment, is probably the timings of weddings. I don’t know if it’s necessarily an American thing, but in Australia, our weddings typically have a four o’clock arrival time, 4:30 ceremony, and they typically wrap up around 11 at a licensed venue. A lot of people are kind of shocked by the timings of our weddings.
Another thing—and correct me if I’m wrong—but we’re big on cocktail or feasting-style weddings. We don’t necessarily do the alternate drop anymore. Things change frequently, but that was probably my experience then. Now, cocktail-style weddings are definitely favored at some venues. People are going to attack me for saying that, like, “No, they’re not.”
Christa Innis: Right. It’s funny because even in the comments, I’ll post something like a skit about no kids at a wedding, and people will say, “Oh, that’s so American.” But then I hear from other countries saying, “Oh no, we do it here.” I feel like every country has areas where they do things differently, and families have their own traditions, no matter what country.
In Australia, you’re talking about timing. Our wedding was at 3:30 PM and went until midnight, or maybe 11. A lot of weddings I go to aren’t until five. So it’s kind of all over the place.
Lucette Brown: And then in some countries, they start weddings at 11 AM and don’t wrap up until 3 AM. I could not cope.
Christa Innis: That sounds exhausting. A friend of mine—her husband is from Spain—they’ve gone to a lot of weddings in Spain. She said they party until five o’clock in the morning. Just hearing that sounds exhausting. On my wedding night, we were ready for bed at midnight.
Lucette Brown: It’s a long day. I hightailed out of my wedding. I was standing there, and I was like, “I’m done. Can I go?” I think there was like half an hour left, but we got married overseas, and I just wanted to go back to our room.
Christa Innis: Yeah. You’re like, “Thanks. Had fun. Bye, guys.”
One Wedding Traditions Lucette Secretly Hates
What is one wedding tradition that you secretly hate?
Lucette Brown: Oh, I’m probably going to get a lot of hype for this, but wedding favors.
Christa Innis: Okay, and why is that?
Lucette Brown: My personal take on it—especially when you work so many weddings—is you just see so many left behind. People don’t take them; they’re thrown away. You think about how much thought, effort, and money goes into those gifts.
Plus, now with the price tag that people pay for weddings—the price per person to be there—I don’t think they need a thank-you gift. That’s just my opinion. In Melbourne, at the venues I’ve worked at, the favors are being phased out. It’s very rare to see wedding favors now, purely because of the amount of money that couples are spending. That’s probably my number one.
Christa Innis: No, and I don’t think that’s an unpopular take because I’ve been hearing that more and more. Even at our wedding, we ended up doing decks of cards with a label because I thought, “Oh, people use cards.” But we had so many left over.
It’s one of those things where you spend all this time researching a favor, and it’s like, does it really matter? Do most people notice it? Probably not.
Lucette Brown: Yeah, that’s probably my one. Everyone’s like, “What’s the one thing you can get rid of?” I’m like, “Wedding favors.”
Christa Innis: Done.
Lucette Brown: Take them off the list.
Reinventing the Wedding Experience
Christa Innis: Okay, if you could reinvent one aspect of weddings to make them more fun or meaningful, what would you do? Or what would it be?
Lucette Brown: I suppose getting people on the dance floor. I don’t know how you would reinvent that, but I feel like the best weddings are the ones where everyone’s on the dance floor, dancing, singing, and laughing. Sometimes, it’s hard for certain people to get on the dance floor. Maybe you could remove the stigma around dancing or something, but it really changes the vibe of the wedding.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I totally agree. If you go to a wedding and the dance floor is empty, it’s like, “Is it time to go?” There’s a vibe that’s just off.
Lucette Brown: Yeah, it changes the whole feel of the wedding.
Christa Innis: Some of the best weddings I’ve been to had dancing all night long. The DJ was playing great music, and the dance floor was packed. That’s what you want.
Lucette Brown: For our wedding, we flew a musician I worked with frequently. It was so important for us to have good music and a packed dance floor. I don’t think there was ever a moment when people weren’t dancing. It really made the wedding.
Christa Innis: That’s amazing. Two things I’ve seen at weddings that I thought were awesome: one was at my best friend’s wedding. They only played the most popular parts of songs—just up until an exciting point. When it started to slow down, they switched to another song. People were running out to the dance floor. It kept it packed the entire night because no one wanted to miss a song.
Lucette Brown: That’s funny you say that. The musician we flew in did something similar. He mashed up songs, so he’d be singing one and then seamlessly move into another. You’d be like, “Wait, how are we into this song now?” It kept everyone engaged.
Christa Innis: You don’t even notice you’ve started singing along to the next song. You’re just already part of it. I love that idea. Another thing I saw—and we ended up using it at our wedding—was getting everyone on the dance floor for a group photo. The photographer would say they needed a group shot, and then right after, they’d start playing music so everyone was already there and started dancing. It’s a clever way to get people on the floor.
Lucette Brown: That’s such a smart idea. The hardest part is getting people to the dance floor. Once they’re there, they tend not to leave, but getting them there can be a challenge.
Christa Innis: That’s always the challenge.
Lucette Brown: Yeah, exactly.
Wedding Drama Debates and Hot Takes
Christa Innis: Awesome. I love it. Okay, this next segment is called pick a side wedding drama debates. So I started sharing on social media, having people share with me their unpopular opinions when it comes to weddings and events. So I’m going to read it and then pick a side on the debate. Okay, this person said, “I feel like the vows should always be private before the ceremony.” What’s your take on that?
Lucette Brown: I think it’s a couple dependent. I know some friends who have done that and haven’t had vows at their wedding because they felt it was too personal and just wanted it between them. Then there are people who love having it in front of everyone to share stories and make it a public declaration. I know I’m sitting on the fence, but I do think it’s very couple-specific. There’s no one-size-fits-all in that scenario.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I totally agree with you. I’m all for making it your own. If you’re not comfortable, keep it private—that’s absolutely fine. But it’s funny because I did a skit about a mother-in-law sneaking in to see private vows, and people in the comments were made. They were saying, “If you want private vows, why are you even getting married?” or “Why have a wedding?” People took it so extreme. It’s like, they still have a ceremony and do all the normal stuff; you wouldn’t even realize the vows were private. Oh my gosh, I still see comments like that. It’s like, come on, we’re all different—let’s be okay with that.
Lucette Brown: A hundred percent. That’s always my big thing. Everyone’s going to have an opinion no matter what you do, so you might as well just do what you want. You’re never going to make everyone happy. You’re going to annoy someone.
Christa Innis: Exactly.
Christa Innis: I don’t like the idea of a first look. My husband had to wait to see me until I came down the aisle. What’s your take?
Lucette Brown: I like a first look. I’ve seen them done really well, and the good thing is, you can get all the bridal party photos done before the ceremony, so you’re not taken off to do them afterward. Personally, I didn’t do a first look because it wasn’t for me—I wanted that aisle moment. But I do like the first look because it’s a nice, intimate moment with just the photographer and wedding party. The fun, stressful part is trying to keep the couple hidden while the guests arrive!
Christa Innis: Hide them away. Yeah, I feel like that’s definitely a newer thing that’s becoming more and more common. I didn’t do it either, but a few of my friends have done it for scheduling purposes and all of that. Just making sure they were able to fit photos in, but I always knew I wanted to have that aisle moment. I wanted the aisle moment.
Lucette Brown: However, in that specific moment, when it hit me, I kind of regretted my decision because I was like, “Oh my God, now everyone’s going to be looking at me.”
Christa Innis: You’re like, wait a second. Yeah.
Lucette Brown: I kind of regret it a bit, but I’m happy I had it.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. Okay. Last one. “Having to invite people because they’re family.” Oh, the way she worded it: “Having to invite people because they’re family, but I haven’t spoken to them in five years.”
Lucette Brown: My big thing is that if we hadn’t seen them—obviously there are certain cases where this doesn’t apply—but if I hadn’t spoken or seen you in six months, you won’t come to my wedding. That’s kind of how we did it. Because obviously, if people are interstate or anything like that, it’s a little different. But yeah, my take is you don’t get a seat at my table purely because you’re family, which I know is controversial.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Lucette Brown: That’s my take.
Christa Innis: I feel like that’s one of those things that has changed with generations. I feel like our generation is better at saying, “No, that doesn’t make sense to have Great Aunt So-and-So, who I’ve never spoken to or who has never met my husband,” you know?
Lucette Brown: Yeah, literally. I feel like the previous generation was about inviting everyone to come together, and they invited every person in town. It doesn’t make sense anymore.
Christa Innis: No. Well…
Lucette Brown: And you know, if you were paying $10 a person, then maybe, but people are paying $200-plus now. The venue I just worked at—some of our weddings were $350, $400 per person. So if I’m paying that much for you to come, you need to be important to me. There’s none of this, “Oh, you have a certain title, so therefore you get to come.”
Christa Innis: Exactly. My thing, too, is I’m such an introvert, which I know is going to sound funny to a lot of people. You have to remember, I film at home in a bathroom. It’s just myself, and I’m good at one-on-one. But I wanted people there that I was comfortable with and had a relationship with. If I have a 500-person wedding, I’m going to feel so uncomfortable. I don’t want to have to introduce myself to someone at my wedding or have an awkward conversation.
Lucette Brown: When you’re looking back at wedding photos, you’ve got all these plus ones, all these people where you’re like, “I don’t know who that is.”
Christa Innis: Exactly! Yeah, and if it’s like a new girlfriend or boyfriend of a cousin or something that you’ve never met and then they break up a week later, you’re like, why are they in this family photo?
Lucette Brown: Yeah, literally. Yeah, yeah.
Christa Innis: Okay. So now we’re going to get to this wedding submission story. So I’m going to read this story, and we’ll just react as it comes through. I’ve not read it yet. My husband actually helps me put together the show notes, so he puts them in here. So we’ll react together. Oh, so lovely.
Okay, here we go. “My mother, who I cut out of my life 15 years ago, stole our wedding money.” Oh, that’s a great start. “Refused to let my husband’s great-grandma park close to the venue. She was in a walker, so she’d park on the other side of the street. She screamed at me in the middle of the dance floor, promised to help pay for my flowers, the mix for the booze, and the hotel room but a month before, she said she could not pay for it.”
She spent money on decorations and stuff that I never wanted for the wedding. Okay, I’ve just stopped right there because—you cut this person out 15 years ago, and now she’s back. Why is she coming to your wedding?
Lucette Brown: Yes, that was my fault!
Christa Innis: I would never trust someone who all of a sudden came back. I would never trust them to pay for things. I’d be like, I don’t want your money. I don’t want you to pay for it.
Lucette Brown: Nope. Don’t want your money, don’t want your opinion, don’t want your advice.
Christa Innis: Yeah, that would be like a last-minute invite if, like, I was feeling friendly, I think.
Lucette Brown: I was feeling the love.
Christa Innis: Exactly. Okay, let’s see what she said next. “Husband and I just wanted a simple ceremony, then a party. She got angry and called me every name in the book. Oh my gosh. When I asked my dad and stepmom for help, she said they should be giving her money instead of me.” Wait, what? Why? I’m shocked by this story. Like, why? I feel like there’s a lot missing, like did she come back, you know, right when they got engaged?
Lucette Brown: Yeah, because this is like, I feel like she’s a background story.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I’m like, I feel like the mom’s coming in full force. Like, okay, cool. I’m back in your life after not being in your life for 15 years. Yeah, this is what I need—give me that money for the wedding or whatever. She also said she would help find people to set up the midnight lunch, lied, and then said she did. But when it came time for help, she yelled at me and said my husband’s family was selfish and they should just do it. By the way, his family cooked and served our whole meal. It was their gift, and they wanted to enjoy the wedding, which they never got to because my mother was selfish.
She then started tearing down the decorations at 9 PM, and people thought the wedding was over and started to leave. Why does this woman have so much free range? Like, after not doing the things she promised, and then she’s coming in and—
Lucette Brown: She needs a wedding redo.
Christa Innis: Yes!
Lucette Brown: She needs to get rid of that one.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Like, I think we’re at a point where it’s like, we keep them as a distant relative at this point, maybe.
Lucette Brown: Yeah, yeah. They don’t come to the wedding, let alone have a say in the wedding.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. I feel like so many times brides want to just keep the peace and have everyone get along.
Lucette Brown: It would be hard, yeah, especially with a mom, because I feel like you’d want your mom to be at your wedding. You’d probably think, “No, it’ll be fine. She’ll be different. It’ll be fine.” And then, as history serves, it never usually is.
Christa Innis: I know. It’s like, I always say, if you have a gut feeling about it, it’s probably right. I hate that for this bride, too, because like you said, she was probably just like the little girl being excited, like, “Mom’s coming back. She really wants to be involved,” and then it’s just one thing after another. It’s so easy to read from our perspective and think, “Why?” But for her, it’s her mom, and you want them to be a part of it.
Lucette Brown: That’s the hard thing with weddings, too. So many people have those reactions, but it’s like, you’ve got to understand that you are dealing with families, emotions, usually years and years or generational trauma. There’s so much that goes into it. A lot of the time, it’s just people trying to have the idea of what they want and hope for that. But most of the time, it doesn’t work—like the mother-in-law with her armed security and white dress.
Christa Innis: Yes, like that. Oh my gosh. It never ends—the craziness, it says she got mad at me when she saw me have a shot with the bridal party and she got mad that I asked my dad to walk me down the aisle and said it should have been one of my brothers.
So this really sounds like, It was maybe a nasty divorce or something.
And, because why would you suggest, if the dad is still in your daughter’s life, why would you suggest a brother over her father?
So it sounds like some, I don’t know, some, something bad happened and now she’s taking it out on the father or something.
Christa Innis: Okay, this next segment is called Wedding Submission Story: Family Drama Unveiled. I’m going to read this story, and we’ll just react as it comes through. My husband actually helps me put together the show notes, so he puts them in here. So, let’s react together.
“My mother, who I cut out of my life 15 years ago, stole our wedding money.” Oh, that’s a great start. “She refused to let my husband’s great-grandma park close to the venue. She was in a walker, so she had to park on the other side of the street. She screamed at me in the middle of the dance floor, promised to help pay for my flowers, the mix for the booze, and our hotel room, but a month before, she said she could not pay for it. She spent money on decorations and stuff I never wanted for the wedding.”
Okay, let’s stop right there. You cut this person out 15 years ago, and now she’s back. Why is she coming to your wedding?
Lucette Brown: Yes, that was my fault!
Christa Innis: I would never trust someone who all of a sudden came back. I would never trust them to pay for things. I’d be like, I don’t want your money. I don’t want you to pay for it.
Lucette Brown: Nope. Don’t want your money, don’t want your opinion, don’t want your advice.
Christa Innis: Exactly. That would be a last-minute invite if I was feeling friendly, maybe.
Lucette Brown: If I was feeling the love.
Christa Innis: Exactly. Okay, let’s keep going. “My husband and I just wanted a simple ceremony, then a party. She got angry and called me every name in the book. She asked my dad and stepmom for help, saying they should give her money instead of me. She said she’d help find people to set up the midnight lunch, but she lied. When it came time for help, she yelled at me and said my husband’s family was selfish and they should just do it. By the way, his family cooked and served our whole meal—it was their gift—and they wanted to enjoy the wedding, which they never got to because my mother was selfish.”
She then started tearing down the decorations at 9 PM, and people thought the wedding was over and started leaving.
Lucette Brown: She needs a wedding redo.
Christa Innis: Yes! She needs to get rid of that one.
Lucette Brown: Yeah, keep them as a distant relative at this point.
Christa Innis: Definitely. I feel like so many brides just want to keep the peace and have everyone get along.
Lucette Brown: It would be hard, especially with a mom. You’d probably think, No, it’ll be fine. She’ll be different, and then, as history shows, it never usually is.
Christa Innis: Right? It’s like if you have a gut feeling about it, you’re probably right. I hate that for this bride. She was probably just excited, like, Mom’s coming back! She really wants to be involved. And then it’s just one thing after another.
Lucette Brown: And that’s the hard thing with weddings. There’s so much generational trauma and family baggage. People just want their ideal wedding day, but a lot of the time, it doesn’t work—like the mother-in-law with her armed security and white dress!
Christa Innis: Yes, that never ends. The craziness! Okay, this last part gets even wilder. “My ex-father-in-law caught my ex-brother-in-law and ex-sister-in-law having sex in the bathroom. I had to tell them to get out because they were caught.”
Lucette Brown: Wait… not siblings?
Christa Innis: No! I read it as her husband’s brother and his wife.
Lucette Brown: Oh, okay. You’re like, “What’s happened with this family?” I’m like, “Oh god!”
Christa Innis: You’re like, “Wait, what is happening? It was already bad, but—”
Lucette Brown: Okay.
Christa Innis: I’m glad we clarified. That’s how I read it. I’m just hoping that’s what it was.
Lucette Brown: Yes, let’s, let’s go with that. Let’s go with that one because it’s—
Christa Innis: It’s better. Yeah, that’s way better. Still bad, but way better. Um, yeah, she said there was so much more, but I’ll leave it with all of this to start. That is enough for a full-on novel. I can’t believe there’s more. Geez.
Lucette Brown: Yep. I feel like she needs to, she needs to do something like, I don’t know, wedding redo or I don’t know, go overseas, get away from all of that. All of that.
Christa Innis: Cause that drama, that’s like immediate family drama where that’s going to follow you. You know, like if they were to do that on her best day, they’re going to follow her with that. So I’m wondering if it was, it sounds like it was like she’s divorced from this family.
Lucette Brown: Yeah, definitely. That’s what I’m guessing.
Christa Innis: So maybe she realized all this, like—
Lucette Brown: Yeah, well, she—yeah, ex-father-in-law and—
Christa Innis: Yeah, I’m guessing. Well, I’m glad she was able to get away from that family. But the mom stuff, that’s, that’s a whole other thing.
Lucette Brown: Yeah. Hopefully, either they’ve reconciled for a good reason, or they, uh, separated.
Christa Innis: Separated. Yeah. Like, they always say too, like, weddings bring out the true colors of people, whether that’s friends or family. And so unfortunately, you’ll either be closer to some people, or you’ll just distance yourself from some people, which—
Lucette Brown: Is—
Christa Innis: Unfortunate and fortunate.
Lucette Brown: Yeah. Yeah, a hundred percent. And I think the types of people who aren’t comfortable with not having the attention on them—they’re the ones that are gonna create the biggest amount of drama for you because they will naturally just need that attention. I’ve found, you know, with the weddings where I’ve experienced that, it is, yeah, the people who, and you can just kind of tell—they’re not probably necessarily subconsciously doing it, but they just, yeah, they’re the ones that can’t handle not having the attention on them.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I definitely see that as a common theme in the stories that are sent to me.
Lucette Brown: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Yeah, a lot of times they’re harmless, where it’s like they’re just doing little things, but then it kind of starts adding up or it can be like your story, where the mother comes in and has the bridal suit, you know.
Lucette Brown: And that was like—and the security! That was the last kind of thing that she did. Like, all throughout, there were little bits that she would do, and she would call us up and all that kind of stuff. Like, there were just all these little moments. And then, yeah, that last day—it was just, yeah, it was interesting. It was like, the couple was so lovely, and I just felt so bad that this will forever kind of also be part of their wedding. Yeah and something that people will remember because, like I said, you couldn’t not. She made it very well known that she had her security.
Christa Innis: Right.
Lucette Brown: So, yeah. I remember trying to, like, sneakily take a photo to send to my sister because I was just like, “You will not believe what is happening right now.”
Christa Innis: It’s insane. You’re like, “You’ll only believe it if I have a picture because it’s so insane.”
Lucette Brown: And I think because of how she looked, like she looked like a bride. Like, if you didn’t know who the bride was, you would walk into this wedding and think she was the bride.
Christa Innis: And she knew exactly what she was doing.
Lucette Brown: Oh, she—
Christa Innis: Hundred percent. That makes my blood boil because it’s like, you can’t let your daughter have this one day. Just make it about her, please.
Lucette Brown: Yeah, I think that’s like, you hear sisters and cousins and that, but like when you hear mother-in-law or the mother or like the father, it’s just like, Oh, come on. Like just let them have their day.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Like, you are the parent. Like, let’s be a little—literally—you are the parent. Oh my gosh.
Christa Innis: Okay, so I know we’re getting towards the end of time. I want to end this with—it’s called a weekly confessions game—where I’m going to read people’s confessions that they send me on Instagram, and I’m going to ask you to rate it from one. One means mild tea, and ten is absolute chaos.
Lucette Brown: Two? I don’t know. I’m like, wow, that’s your decision. That’s your life. So good for you, I suppose, if that’s how you want to do it.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. I say go for it.
Lucette Brown: Yeah. Right.
Christa Innis: Okay. I feel like that’s… I mean, to secretly do it—I mean, I’d be wanting to tell people, but I think that’s awesome.
Christa Innis: Okay, my mother-in-law forgot the rings on purpose on our wedding day in hopes her son would change his mind.
Lucette Brown: She needs to get a new mother-in-law. Um, I’d say that’s… See, it’s so hard to, because like, kind of knowing what I know with what has happened at weddings, it’s just like, I know of much worse things that have happened, but like on a normal scale, that’s pretty high. That would be like, like a seven or eight.
Christa Innis: You’re just so used to it, you’re like, it doesn’t even phase you anymore. Perfect.
Lucette Brown: I’m like, yeah, that sounds right.
Christa Innis: That checks all the boxes.
Lucette Brown: Yeah.
Christa Innis: My thought is, when I first see this, I’m like, I wonder if all along, the mother-in-law was pretending to be a fan of hers. Cause I’m like, if you knew the mother-in-law didn’t like you or was acting some way, I would never in a million years trust the mother-in-law to have the rings. You know what I’m saying?
Lucette Brown: Yeah, unless she actually stole them.
Christa Innis: Yeah, oh yeah, like got them from someone, like took them from the best man, who’s like, “I’ll just hold on to these.”
Lucette Brown: Then that does bump it up a notch.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I read a story once where the mother-in-law—or the grandma—wanted to hold on to the ring for a photo and then forgot where she put them. So they didn’t have it for the ceremony.
Lucette Brown: Did they find them though?
Christa Innis: I think they ended up finding them later. Like, it fell on the ground somewhere. And it was so traumatic because everyone was ready for pictures, and they were just like, “We can’t find it anywhere.” The grandma—or mother-in-law—was like, “I need it for a photo,” and they didn’t find it until after the ceremony.
Lucette Brown: I was going to say, never give anyone the rings, but looking back, we gave our photographer the rings to get photos with them beforehand. And I’m like, oh God, it could so easily happen.
Christa Innis: I know. You’d hope a photographer would be really careful or do it often enough that they’d know, “This is like gold. I can’t lose this—literally gold.”
Christa Innis: Okay, last one: not sending out save-the-dates because “I don’t want people to save the date.”
Lucette Brown: My question would be, why are they invited?
Christa Innis: I know. If everyone could see my face, I’m just like, what?
Lucette Brown: Why? If you don’t want them to save the date, then don’t invite them.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I’m wondering if it’s one of those situations where her parents are pushing her to have a big wedding and she doesn’t want a wedding. Or maybe she’s not excited to get married?
Lucette Brown: Yeah. Because if you don’t want people to save the date, then don’t do it. Like, don’t have the wedding. It’s so odd. If you don’t want people to have that, then they shouldn’t be coming to the wedding.
Christa Innis: That would be my first clue that you don’t want to get married or you don’t want the wedding you’re having. If you don’t want people to come, then, like you said, don’t invite them. Just do a small wedding. No one has to have a big wedding.
Lucette Brown: No, literally. You can literally do whatever you want.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. It’s crazy, the number of people—and I’m sure you have stories too—but it’s crazy how many people get bribed in some way by their parents. Like, “If you don’t do this…” I’ve heard of parents saying, “If you don’t get married in this church, we’re not going to pay for it,” or “If you don’t invite so-and-so, we’re not going to do this.”
Lucette Brown: A hundred percent. We even had it, to some degree, with our wedding because we had a destination wedding. People expected certain things because we had a destination wedding.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Lucette Brown: My response was, “Well, you don’t have to come. You’re more than welcome not to buy the ticket and fly over. If you choose to, then you’re here for us. Have a great holiday. Have a fun day.”
Christa Innis: Right.
Lucette Brown: We did a cocktail-style wedding, and that was a bit of an issue. People were like, “If you’re flying people over, they need to have a seated meal.” And I was like, “They’ll probably end up with more food the way we’re doing it.” I flew out to the company I used to work for to cater my wedding. They’re going to end up with more food this way. But there’s always going to be opinions, no matter what you do.
Christa Innis: Oh yeah. I never get why people have opinions or get mad about how someone else chooses to do their wedding. I’ve seen comments about destination weddings saying, “Oh, it’s ridiculous, it’s so expensive.” You don’t have to go. Just say no.
Lucette Brown: Exactly.
Christa Innis: This is how the couple wants to do their wedding.
Lucette Brown: Yeah. People are like, “Well, you should have a wedding here.” And I’m like, “No, that’s what you want to do. So you should do that. We wanted to go overseas, so that’s what we did. Figure it out. Come, don’t come, have fun.”
Christa Innis: Yeah, exactly. Well, this was awesome. Thank you so much for coming on. I loved hearing your hot takes, and you have so many great stories. Can you tell everybody where they can follow your stories and hear more of your craziness and your awesome skits?
Lucette Brown: Yes, so, the handle is just Events and Affairs. I think if you search Lucette, I sometimes come up, but I think there are also some other creators with my name. But yeah, Events and Affairs is how you’ll find me, even though my tagline is weddings and events. So it’s confusing.
Christa Innis: No, it totally works because it makes sense. I think it still will come up with the name, and, uh, yeah, you do amazing skits.
Lucette Brown: Thank you.
Christa Innis: Oh, you cut out for a second there. Okay, you’re back. Um, yeah, you do great skits.
Lucette Brown: We’re back.
Christa Innis: I’m going to blame it on the time difference or something. But, uh, yeah, no, you do amazing skits. Everyone, go check out Lucette. Thank you so much for coming on. It was so great meeting you officially and hearing all your hot takes.
Lucette Brown: No, thank you so much for having me too. And like I said, likewise, your skits and stories are amazing. I’ve become a fan of Sloan and kind of got into that drama. So yeah, it’s really cool to meet and connect with people who do similar things. It’s been a lot of fun.
Christa Innis: Love it.