Venmo Requests, Demanding In-Laws & A Bride’s Outrageous Ask
What’s worse: your dad bailing on your wedding and then sending you a Venmo request for the deposit, or your mother-in-law going on vacation with his ex?
Yeah… welcome to this week’s chaos. I’m kicking things off with a brand new game: red flag vs. green flag wedding edition. Spoiler alert, locking up guest phones? HARD no. Then I’m diving headfirst into one of the messiest three-wedding family sagas you’ve ever heard. We’re talking divorces, mistresses, and family photos that should’ve come with a seating chart and a referee.
And of course, I wrap it up with your confessions, the kind that remind us all that where there’s a wedding, there’s always, always drama.
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Episode Chapter Markers
00:00 Introduction
01:22 Wedding 911 Situations
03:22 Dress Drama and Advice
05:26 Red Flag vs Green Flag: Wedding Edition
10:49 Wild Wedding Stories
16:57 Dress Shopping Drama
19:11 Mother-in-Law’s Bridal Shower Antics
20:44 Wedding Day Chaos
23:53 Three Weddings, One Family Drama
30:11 Confessions from Instagram
Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments
- Red Flag vs. Green Flag – We rapid-fire hot takes on wedding behaviors, from cash bars to late-night Taco Bell.
- The Phone Lock-Up Debate – Why banning phones is fine, but locking them away is a serious overstep.
- Dad’s Venmo Request – A father skips his daughter’s wedding… then asks for the venue money back. Seriously.
- Three Weddings, Endless Chaos – One family, three ceremonies, and a whole lot of awkward divisions.
- Mistress to Missus – The audacity of a dad marrying the woman he cheated with and expecting everyone to play along.
- The Peacekeeper Sister – Navigating sibling loyalties when parents’ drama overshadows the big day.
- Confessions Corner – Listeners spill about future in-laws inviting exes, surprise proposals, and engagement slip-ups.
- Storytelling Skits – Why I am ready to turn messy dad drama into my next viral skit.
Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode
- “Sometimes you don’t need a seating chart—you need a family tree just to keep up.” – Christa Innis
- “It’s not my favorite flag, but it’s not red either. Maybe it’s beige?” – Christa Innis
- “You skipped the wedding and then sent a Venmo request? Sir, be serious.” – Christa Innis
- “Locking up phones at a wedding? No. I need to know if my kid is still alive.” – Christa Innis
- “Whoever invented late-night wedding snacks deserves a Nobel Prize.” – Christa Innis
*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.
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Blog Transcript:
Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Christa Innis: Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of, Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host Christa, or if you can see me right now, Jules, if you can’t see me, I am wearing the outfit from the I don’t crew. the character Jewels. So that’s the problem sometimes with, between these skits is then I associate these shirts with different characters and.
I like, every time I like pick it up, I’m like, oh, that’s that one character from that skit. That’s how I feel about the Ferris and Sloan shirt. Like I’ve barely worn it outside of that skit now, because I feel like if I wear it somewhere, it feels like I’m, I don’t know, secretly like promoting the book and I’m not trying to, it’s funny how I just connect it anyways.
What a way to start the episode. kind of just jump in right in like that. Welcome back for another episode of some crazy stories that we are gonna get into in just a minute. Try to switch things up because I like to keep things interesting. We’re gonna start off this week with we’re gonna call them wedding 9 1 1 Situations that people have sent me as a new segment.
And, from time to time people send me, on social media some things they’re going through. Maybe they’re in a wedding, maybe it’s a friend situation. And I’m no expert, but I’m just gonna give you my own personal advice, from the hot seat here, I guess. So if you wanna send me any of your own wedding 9 1 1, you can email me at hello@christainnis.com and use the subject line wedding 9 1 1.
So let’s dive into these.
Wedding 911: Honeymoon Bills & Bridesmaid Dress Drama
This first one says, “My bride friend just announced she wants the bridal party to chip in to cover her honeymoon. What? As a gift on top of dresses, travel, and the shower. This feels like too much. I just wanna be supportive, but I also don’t wanna go broke.” Yeah, that’s pretty, it’s pretty normal.
” How do I set a boundary without causing a fallout?” Okay. I feel like we’ve talked about this a lot of times before on the podcast. If a friend is asking you to do too much, like having you pay for the honeymoon is not a normal thing for a bridesmaid. You should not have to pay anything for the wedding.
Yes. You know, if you wanna go to a bachelorette party, sure. Depending on the person. Sometimes the dress you’ll pay for shoes. But those should be communicated ahead of time. The honeymoon you are not even a part of this is the new bride in groom. This is their trip to handle and take care of. If they can’t afford it, they shouldn’t go on one.
Now if they do one of those like honeymoon funds and you wanna chip in on that, sure. If you give ’em a gift of the wedding and they use part of that, sure. But it should not be a standard. It should not be like you have to as a bridesmaid, pay for this if she doesn’t understand and. She tells you like, this is what you have to do.
I’d say, okay, well I’m gonna set this one out and if she says, don’t come to my wedding, then you say, all right, well we had a good run. Again, it’s always easier from the outside, but that is a ridiculous request for someone to have.
Okay. Next. Dress drama. “The bride picked bridesmaid, a bridesmaid dress color that looks terrible on me. It completely washes me out. I asked if I could wear the same dress in a slightly different shade, but she said no, because she wants perfectly matching pictures. Do I just suck it up for one day or is it fair to push back?” Okay. It’s gonna ultimately depend on your relationship and how important this person is to you? Me, personally, I would just suck it up. I’ve worn so many dresses that wash me out. I’m a very pale person. I don’t do spray tan. I don’t do tanning anymore. So I’m pale. I’ve had to wear dresses that were like. Really, really light pink. I’ve had to wear dresses that were like a top and they end up looking, they look fine.
Like once you get your hair and makeup done, it works. It’s fine. I would never tell a bride to pick a different bridesmaid dress. That’s me personally. if you’re not super close, maybe just be like, this isn’t for me. But if you agreed to be in their wedding because you care about them and they care about you. I’d say just suck it up for a day. If you’re gonna match all the other girls, it’s gonna look fine. it’ll be great. I think dress color is one thing where like I’d be like, suck it up. If it’s a style, maybe that makes you uncomfortable, maybe it’s like a backless dress or really low cutting or form fitting, and you’re like, I don’t like that for my body, then that’s something I think I could push back a little more on and be like, “Hey, I’m not comfortable in that
dress.” A color? I don’t know. Tell me what you guys think, but for me, I wouldn’t push back.
Okay. Like I said, we’re gonna start doing these from time to time, so if you have a dilemma or something that you want addressed, email me. hello@kristaennis.com and use the subject line wedding 9 1 1. You can also use my same Google form and just select, there’s a different option there. You can, filter it through. \
I do get dms on social media. It’s just like, it’s so hard because they’re not filtered through. So if I read it and I’m like, it’s a busy day and I don’t forget to unmark it or mark it up, then I lose the story and then it’s gone. I’ll be like, oh my gosh. Someone sent me a really good story and I just completely forget. So if I see one in there, I’ll send you guys the link and I’ll be like, “Hey, this is a great story. Can you just send it to me in the Google form?”
Red Flag or Green Flag? The Wedding Edition
Okay. Next up, this next segment is going to be called. Red flag versus green flag wedding edition. So we’ve been doing the hot takes lately on the rapid fire. So this is like a new kind of style of that.
“Bride asked bridesmaids to dye their hair for the wedding.” That’s a red flag. No, we don’t need to do that. This is quick, quick, quick, quick.
“Mother-in-law insists on wearing white because it’s her son’s day too.” No red flag. “Couple charges? Yes. For drinks at a cash bar?” Well, a cash bar is charge. So are we just saying, is it cash bar, red flag? I wouldn’t say that’s a red flag. It’s not my favorite flag, but I wouldn’t say it’s red. It’s not a green flag though.
Okay. “A groom’s friend proposes during the reception.” Red flag.
“Couple doesn’t allow plus ones unless you’re engaged or married.” I get it, but I’m gonna lean more towards red flag because an engagement or marriage does not determine the relationship. I could hear, I could see maybe like if you’re like long-term relationships, you’ve been together over a year. But you could be together for a week and get engaged. So I just, I’m not someone that’s like, engagement means they’re like solid. I mean, marriage doesn’t always mean that either. So yeah, I would say that’s a red flag.
“Bridesmaid drops out a week before the wedding because of cost that’s a green flag I think. I don’t know if it’s be, should be a green or a red flag. It’s not a red flag because if she cannot afford something, like maybe just too many things are adding up. She felt empowered enough or strong enough to be able to drop out. I think that’s a green flag. Hopefully it doesn’t affect the bride and they’re just, they can move on past it and they’re okay. but. I wouldn’t say that’s a red flag at all. If someone came to me and they’re like, I can’t afford to be in your wedding, I would be like, what can I do to keep you in the wedding? Let’s like nix this. How can I help with this? I just want you to be a part of it. I don’t care about the cost.
“Couple has a phone free ceremony and locks up guest phones.” That’s a red flag. Phone free ceremony. Yes, absolutely. Put the phones away. They have professional photographers. Just don’t have it out. Please, listen. But locking up a guest phone is a red flag because here’s the thing, as a mom, and just in case of emergency, I feel like people should be able to have their phones on them. That just sounds to me like you don’t trust someone that’s coming to your wedding you are like, we’re locking up everybody’s phone. Like, no, let’s not do that.
” Parents of the bride invite extra guests without telling the couple.” Red flag.
” Best man roasts the bride in his speech.” Red flag, unless he’s equally roasting. Yeah, that’s a red flag. And you’re like, good friends.
“Couple serves fast food like Taco Bell or Chick-fil-A as a late night snack.” That’s a green flag. I love when I’m at a wedding and they have a late night snack and it’s like Wendy’s or Pizza or Taco Bell. I went to one one time and it was in this really cool, like old, I don’t even remember what it was, not a museum. I just remember the structure was so cool. Like there was up the stairs and then like the different like rooms or the different, I’m describing this so poorly. It was in Ohio. The different rooms were like had different things in it. So like one room would have a late night snack, one would have dancing, then there was dancing downstairs. It was just like a cool old building. And I remember them mentioning a late night snack and I kept trying to find where it was and I ended up missing it. And I was like, what was the late night snack? And they were like, it was curly fries and like Wendy’s frosties. And I was like, oh, that sounds amazing. Right now I’m all for late snack. Whoever came up with it and started doing that. Thank you. I remember the first wedding I was at that had one. I was like, what? What’s happening right now? What are, why are we getting late night food? Okay. I don’t always finish my dinner. Like, it depends on what’s going on, but like, there’s so much going on that day, so I just get hungry later on. So late night snacks good.
One more thing I forgot to mention earlier. If you guys didn’t know, I now post these all on YouTube and I know like I’m not one to sit and watch a full video on YouTube that’s like, over. 10 minutes. But it’s a great place to go for discussion. So if I ever like, bring something up in the conversation here, or you wanna give some feedback on something, or you have a question about something or you wanna like add more to the discussion, please go to YouTube and comment, because I feel like there’s so many times when I’m listening to podcasts that I’m like, where can I like say my thoughts on the matter? And like talk to other people about it. So please do that. I love seeing the discourse. I pop in the comments all the time to see what’s going on, and I love seeing what you guys have to say.
The Mother-in-Law Who Made the Wedding All About Herself
All right, guys, we’ve got two stories today, so let’s get into them before I able too much, because these are wild. Okay. Story #1.
“My fiance and I had been together for four years when he proposed. Since my dad passed away, he moved in with me less than a year into our relationship. So we were serious about building a life together from the start. My relationship with his mom was okay. At first, we’re just different people. Personality wise, she’s loud and extroverted, and I’m more introverted and struggle with loud environments. About a year before he proposed, she kept making more passive aggressive comments towards me. Ooh, okay. I brought this up to my fiance and when things got worse, he asked her about it. Her only explanation was that I was rude because I looked at my phone while playing a 1980s Trivial Pursuit game. She insisted we play. Wait, what? She got mad ’cause you looked at your phone. She forced me to join so the teams would be even I hadn’t wanted to play. So during the long turns, I scrolled social media and did some online shopping.”
Oh my gosh. So she considers that rude. That’s like a generational thing too, though. Like the judgment for being on the phone. I know it’s hard sometimes, like you pick up your phone, you wanna like scroll social media, different generations see that as rude. I personally don’t like when I’m somewhere with someone and they start picking up their phone. I’m like, excuse me, I’ll, I’ll keep talking when you’re done. Like, it’s kind of awkward, but if there’s a big group of people and you just pick up your phone here and there and look at it. Sure. Again, I’m not criticizing this person. I’m just saying personally, if I was playing and I kept noticing someone look at their phone, I’d be like, am I boring you?
“Most of her comments revolved around me making him do things that we already had mutually agreed on. At first, I just ignored it. When he proposed, we were so excited to start planning because of my dad’s passing, I had some inheritance money. We decided, I used part of it for the wedding, so it’d feel like my dad was helping pay and we cover the rest ourselves. We never asked anyone for money, nor did we share this detail with our families. We toured a local event center. With my mom and his parents. The venue handled tables, chairs, linens, food, and bartending, a perfect low stress package. We signed the contract and put down a deposit.” I love, lemme just say, I love when it like a venue is like, we’re gonna do this, this, this, and this. You don’t have to like go to a hundred different vendors. “ A few weeks later, my fiance came home after visiting his parents. His mom had told him, just so you know, we’re not putting any money down for the wedding, so don’t expect us to.“
Don’t you love that, like aggressive, like coming at you? Like I have seen this happen so many times in these stories, where people just like go after somebody. And it’s wild because it’s like. They’re thinking, they’re expecting them to give them money and it’s like they haven’t said one thing about that.
“He explained that we’re paying for everything ourselves and had never asked them for anything. His dad chimed in saying they just wanted him to be aware. Weird, but we shrugged it off. Okay. I later found a bridal expo and thought it would be a great chance to explore vendors. Since my maid of honor lived outta state, I invited my mom and my two other bridesmaids, my fiance and his mom to help her feel included.” See, this is where I’m always like. I feel bad for these brides ’cause I get it. That’s gotta be really uncomfortable. ’cause you’re like, I want her to feel included. This is a special time. But if she’s already making weird comments to you and about the wedding, I don’t have high hopes for her coming to your dress shopping, that’s all. Okay.
“We drove into cars, my bridesmaids road with my mom. I went with my fiance and his mom.” Wait. Oh, this is a bridal expo. Okay, got it. I was, I don’t know why I was thinking it was like a dress fitting. Okay. ” On the way she started grilling him about who he planned to invite from his side. When he mentioned a cousin he recently connected with, she snapped. You can’t invite him. Take him off the list. I told my fiance he should be able to fight who he wants. But to appease his mom, he agreed to leave the cousin out.” I, they already said straight up, they’re not helping with anything. They’re not paying for anything, so they cannot dictate who you’re inviting to the wedding. And if you are close to someone, you should be able to invite them. Like, that’s ridiculous. Oh my gosh.
“At the expo, she immediately grew, grew annoyed at how slow we were moving through the crowded rows. She kept rushing ahead, arms crossed, waiting against the walls. My fiance went to stand with her so she wouldn’t be alone, which forced my bridesmaid to drag him back whenever I was mid-conversation with vendors.” Yeah, because then she’s making it all about her, so now they’re not even focusing on their wedding and the vendors, she’s just being annoyed. “We found out. We found some promising vendors, silk flowers, rentals, and hair and makeup team. When I mentioned these, she loudly criticized them. ‘I don’t know why people wear makeup anyway, I didn’t at my wedding, and it was such a waste of money to hire someone.'”
This is someone that’s just gonna find something negative about everything. Either she doesn’t support their marriage or their relationship, she’s unhappy with her own wedding, or she’s just unhappy with her life in general. So she’s gonna critique every single thing that she does.
“For context, I have eczema and acne, so I rarely wear more than concealer and foundation for my wedding. I wanted to feel extra special.” As you should, girl. “She also dismissed the silk flowers as cheap. Even after my fiance reminded her, she hadn’t seen the particular booth we liked.” Just making judgements again. “On the way to lunch afterwards, she called his younger brother and bribed him with a free meal to join. The moment he arrived, she focused entirely on him ignoring my bridesmaids and any vendor talk.”
So she’s like just shutting them out. This is such common behavior in these stories. I see. Um, both with shutting out the wedding planning, critiquing anything that they don’t like. It is making the bride feel bad or awkward about ever bringing up the wedding. And then on the other side of things, the sibling picking favorites. I just read another story about this last week where it was sisters and they were picking favorites and then the famous me and Tina skit, and now it’s doing the same thing. Oh, own invite brother to our lunch. And I’m just gonna completely ignore you guys now.
“Months later, I scheduled wedding dress shopping for when my sister would be in town. I texted his mom and my mom the details. His mom replied that she added it to her calendar, so I didn’t send a reminder. The day arrived and after our family vacation.” I know this going and I’m trying not to laugh. “My bridesmaid’s mom and I headed to the boutique soon after my fiance called his dad, told him his mom had skipped it to take his brother’s graduation pictures. My fiance gently scolded me for not reminding her, even though she said she had it on her calendar.”
That hurt. Yeah, she’s an adult. Like it’s also the relationship thing. Like for example, like I told my mom and my mother-in-law like, Hey, this is the date. For dress shopping? Are you guys both free? They both were. They put it on their calendar, but I talked to them multiple times before then, so it would come up. My mother-in-law would call me like we would talk about it. Same with my mom. Like so like it would come up in conversation, but if it’s somebody I don’t talk to a lot, they are adults. If she, if she said, Hey, I put it in my calendar, trust, trust that. If she had a question about it, she can ask. For her to then be like, oh, I’m taking your brother’s graduation photos. Mm, I don’t know. I think it was on purpose. Um.
“We ended up finding the dress at, I dunno why I said it like that, the dress at the first shop, but kept a second appointment just in case. To our shock, his mom showed up at the second boutique, even though she previously said she wasn’t coming.” So she knew .She either knew or the fiance, because I’m wondering if he scolded the bride later or if he like called her and was like, uh, my mom’s not there. You needed to call her, blah, blah, blah, blah. So maybe he gave the address and was like, you need to go. But to me it sounds like the mom just didn’t wanna go to the first appointment. “To our shock… she immediately criticized the gowns as cheap and called my favorite one plain.” Ew. I don’t like that at all. Again, she’s being so rude during this whole like engagement, stop inviting her to things. “My bridal party was furious.” I wonder if anyone like stuck up for, stood up for her and said something. ’cause I feel like my friends would not be able to bite their tongue. Again, I’ve talked about before. I have an amazing mother-in-law. She would never, but I’m just trying to picture like if there was a scenario where one of my, or one of my friend’s mother-in-laws said something, I think we would say something. I don’t think we could just stand there and be like, watch it happen. That would be terrible.
“My bridal party was furious Afterwards, she declined our dinner invitation, telling my fiance later she wasn’t invited at all.” Of course, she’s gonna be the victim. “My sister planned my bridal shower and we invited his mom’s friends too. Only one RSVP.” Yes, which upset her. “A week before the shower, my fiance told, his mom told me his mom complained. I had excluded her from planning. I reminded him that my sister was handling everything. When he relayed that to his mom, she suddenly claimed she was too busy to help anyway.”
This is that victim mentality. They’re gonna find something wrong or find like a way to whine or cry about everything. It’s like, and she’s putting her, her son, the fiance in the middle of everything, saying like, oh, they didn’t include me when they actually did. And then when he says that, he’s like, oh, I’m way too busy for that. Come on.
“On the day she and her mother sat in their car until five minutes before the party. During the shower, she kept mostly to herself. Her gift to me was a Yelp printout for a quirky nail boutique specializing in anime designs. Interesting, sweet in theory, but not at all practical since we were leaving for our honeymoon the next day.” This is wild. “Later, she scheduled a nail appointment for just the two of us without asking me. Then backed out saying she’d bring a friend instead.” What? So she gets you a nail gift certificate for your bridal shower? Then she says, here, I booked a nail appointment for us, and now she can’t go. This woman is wild. How do you, I don’t know how people deal with this.
“His parents agreed to pay for the rehearsal dinner, but his mom still complained about the officiant not attending. He was never supposed to for a co per contract.” I don’t think they typically do. “At the restaurant, she boasted about the very expensive cookies she brought on the wedding day things escalated. She barged into the bridal suite demanding the photographer document a gift from the groom, which delayed our timeline.” I am shaking my head if you’re listening. “Later, she wandered around with her own DSLR camera.” No. Why? Why does she think she’s a photographer now? “Taking photos during our first dance and other moments, even though we had professionals hired.” And you don’t wanna do that either because your flash can throw out the other photographer’s flash. You could be in the background, you could be in the way, like leave it to the professionals. “Our photographer cropped her out whenever possible, but the videographer couldn’t avoid her.” Also, doesn’t she wanna like interact with people while she had a camera? “She also camped out at her reception table with plastic water bottles and spent much of the night at the photo booth with her friends rather than celebrating with us. The next day, I logged into Facebook to see that she’d already posted dozens of wedding photos. Most of them were herself. Out of nearly 50 pictures, I appeared in about seven.” I am laughing ’cause this is just so ridiculous. Like you’re telling me she makes this big stink about the whole wedding. Has to make the whole thing about her. Then on the wedding day, instead of actually just enjoying it and being present, she’s carrying around this huge DSLR camera, taking all these photos as if she’s a second hired photographer, and then posting it all to Facebook without the bride. It’s wild. Oh my gosh.
“Looking back, his mom’s need for attention overshadowed so many parts of the process. My fiance often excused it, wanting to keep her happy, but it left me feeling excluded and disrespected at multiple points.” I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. If it comes to the point where your mom is making you choose between the two and you can’t choose your new wife. You’re more concerned about making her happy than you’ve already lost. You’re already not choosing your wife, so why are you marrying her? I, I just, I don’t get that, like she, the mom wants like this battle to happen. She wants to like see that her son is still loyal to her, but at the end of the day, like he chose to marry this new person. That’s terrible.
“The wedding itself was beautiful, but her behavior is something I will never forget.” I’m so sorry to this bride and it sucks when you like. Those are the memories then that you have of your wedding day, and I’m sure it hasn’t gotten better now that they’re married. I’m sure it has not gotten better. This mother-in-law is going to still be doing things to be passive aggressive, to be rude, to put her down. All because the girl was scrolling on her phone during game night. Like there, these needs to be researched in a lab somewhere. I don’t know, like I don’t know where this comes from that they get so up in arms or so offended when their son finds someone to marry. I don’t know where this comes from. We need another therapist to come on here and talk about it.
Three Weddings, One Messy Family Tree
Okay, next one. Oh gosh. Okay. Three weddings, one family drama. This story actually involves three weddings. “I grew up in the same neighborhood as this family and was close friends with the youngest daughter. She and her older sister split their time between their dad and stepmom’s house and their mom’s. The stepmom also had two kids from a previous relationship, so it was a blended household. About a year, about a year and a half ago, the older sister got engaged around the same time it came out that their dad was cheating on the stepmom, which led to a nasty divorce.“ Okay. The stepmom and her kids all cut him off, and so did the older sister.
“The younger sister was the only one still trying to keep some peace, and that’s the one that’s friends with the op.” A lot of characters here. And this is why, sorry, this is a side note, but this is why like when I do skits and people are like, I need the next part, I need the next part. I’m like, I don’t wanna complicate it too much by adding all these other characters. ‘Cause I did that before and people were like, who’s who? Who’s that? And it just gets it. It’s hard in these skits and this is why I need to read this one first. Okay. Um.
“Originally, the dad was invited to the older sister’s wedding, but he threw a fit when he found out the stepmom might be there and demanded to bring his new partner instead.” God, hopefully it wasn’t the one that he cheated with. I mean, it’s awkward either way ’cause it was a nasty divorce. But if he is like, Hey, this is the mistress.
Like what are we doing here? “When the bride told him his new partner wasn’t welcome, he refused to attend.” So you’re choosing this new partner over your daughter’s wedding or stepdaughter’s wedding. “She finally uninvited him altogether at the wedding. Their mom walked down the aisle at the wedding, their mom walked. The bride down the aisle, and both the younger sister and the former stepsister were bridesmaids. Afterward, the dad had the audacity to send the bride a venmo request asking for the, asking for reimbursement for the venue deposit. He contributed she ignored it.” This dad is something else. We need a skit about that because I feel like too many times, like these skits are focused on moms and mothers in-law. I’m sorry guys. I am really sorry for that because I, I don’t mean it to be that way. I just get, most of the stories are about moms and I, I don’t mean for it. So I need a dad story. We need to skit about this because this is a really shitty thing to do. Really shitty thing to do. He ultimately chose his new girlfriend over his wife and kids. I get the divorce was nasty, but you need to put your kids first. He is like, pay me back for the venue. I’m like, not, it’s not her fault. You didn’t show up.
“A month later, the dad married the woman he cheated with. The divorce papers from the second marriage were finalized only 24 hours before his wedding.” So it was the woman he cheated with that he wanted to bring to the wedding. Can you imagine the audacity to not even see how badly you screwed up? You ripped apart your family by cheating on your, on your, your wife, um, of how many years and then wanting to bring her to your daughter’s wedding. Actually, stepdaughter’s wedding. What? This guy’s lost his mind.
The only guests were her. The only guests were two of her kids. The younger daughter wasn’t invited, which upset her, but her dad brushed it off by saying she lived too far away about four hours and he didn’t think she could make it. Okay. Wedding #3.
“Just this past weekend was the younger sister’s wedding. I was in the bridal party along with her fiance’s sister, her biological sister. Two new stepsisters from the dad’s third marriage and a cousin.” Okay. So we’re talking, oh wow. This is like a nice, okay, that like biological sister, the peacekeeper, we’ll call her. I don’t have names for her. So really nice to include her dad’s mistress kids. I mean, I guess this his new wife now, but that’s wild to include them. Okay. “The bride had invited her former stepmom and step siblings, but they weren’t a part of the bridal party.” So she included, and unless I’m understanding incorrectly, she included the new stepsisters from the dad’s third marriage, but not the former. Step siblings who she’s known a lot longer. Okay. I guess it’s all about relationship and you, you choose who you want in your wedding. It’s ultimately up to you, but that’s wild. Uh, okay. Okay. “Her mom and her mom’s partner were also there. Her biological sister serving as maid of honor, still wasn’t speaking to their dad. It was out of question, the most awkward wedding I’ve ever, ever attended. The dad walked the bride down the aisle, but the former stepmom and step-siblings weren’t included in photos and left after cocktail hour. I later heard this was prearranged. The bride wouldn’t be upset.” Oh, that sucks. That’s really sad. “During family photos, the division was almost comical. Bride and groom were in the center mom with her partner and their son, and the older sister with her husband on one side, dad and his new wife and her kids on the other. The older sister was treated as part of mom’s side, and there were no photos of both sisters with their dad. He and the older sister still don’t speak to this day and they didn’t speak the entire day. The dad’s new wife seemed to be scrambling to play catch up socially, meeting extended family for the first time, while also trying to coexist with his ex-wife’s families.”
I wanna hear our story, like I want her to send in what happened here, like if my head, it feels like scrambled eggs right now from all of this, I can only imagine. What actually happened and, and you guys listening like, are, am I too confused? Are you guys confused? There are so many people here. Okay. “She ends with the bride, looked happy at the end of it all, which is the most important thing. But from the outside, the balancing act of divorce, parents, ex stepparents, half siblings and new partners made it painfully awkward to witness.” Uh, I hate that. I hate when you hear about like these messy divorces and the parents then make it more about themselves. It sounds like the, um, ex like stepmother, um, sounded like she was willing to like, make it work, but the dad is just, sounds terrible. Um, I’ve been in multiple weddings where there’s children of divorce and they make it work. They’re still hugging, they’re friends. They get along, they, and it’s not like they’re hanging out outside of it. They just make it work for the sake of their kids in a beautiful day. It’s not that hard to brush it aside for one day. It’s not about you, it’s about the bride and groom. And that’s it. The couple getting married.
All right, guys. Well, those were two completely wild stories. Thanks for listening, and hopefully, I mean, we might need a family tree after this. I don’t know, but this was wild.
Mother-in-Law on Vacation With the Ex?
All right, let’s end this episode with some confessions that you guys sent me over on Instagram again. Every single Friday we ask you guys to send us your confessions. They have to do. All kinds of things. Engagements, dating, uh, relationships, weddings, proposals, honeymoons, you name it. So send them to us. Okay. This first one says.
“My mother-in-law would invite his ex over or go on vacation with her after we got engaged.” Oh, no. This is the one that needs to let go of the past. This, I would, I don’t think I would do well with that. Uh, I don’t think most people would. I need to know now. Where are you guys? Are you guys engaged still? Are you married? Does his ex still come around? What is his relationship with the ex? What is his relationship with his mom? Is, is he like setting up a boundary? Because that’s weird to me that the mother-in-law’s going on vacation with her. That’s, that’s very inappropriate to me. Okay.
Was that intentional or was that like an accident? Because there’s been times where like my husband’s included in a group chat or I am and the other isn’t included, and you talk to them later and they either are like, oh, I didn’t mean to do that.
Or, um, it was for a different reason. Or, I don’t know, like, maybe it’s not that deep, but maybe it is that deep. I don’t know. It is weird to not include the bride in a text about her wedding. That’s like the one where the mother-in-law posted photos. Um, I think it was from their engagement and then, um, purposely like, what was it? She, I think either cropped out the bride. No, she, yeah, she cropped out the bride and then only tagged the son in the photos, so that was intentional.
Okay. This last one says, “I knew he was going to propose, but he still doesn’t know that.” Wait. “I knew he was going to propose, but he still doesn’t know that. Married for four years with two kids.“ Okay. Why was I, okay, tell me why I read that. Like he doesn’t know that I’ve been married for four years with two kids. I’ve been reading too many like crazy confessions that I was literally thought she was like confessing to us a deep, dark secret that she’s been married for four years with two kids. Okay. She knew that he was going to propose, like she, somehow the secret was out. She knew that he was gonna propose and she’s not telling him four years later with two kids, all right, I got you. I got you. That’s not that wild. I think that probably happens a lot. You want them to feel good about their surprise, so you’re not gonna say anything.
Um, like I’ve talked about before, I knew my, I knew like we were gonna get engaged soon. I didn’t know when it was gonna happen, so I was completely surprised when it did happen. Um. But I wasn’t like, whoa, we’ve never talked about marriage before. This is weird. So I knew it was kind of coming. Um, yeah.
Well, thanks guys. Those were some pretty wild stories today. As always, if you want more content or more crazy stories, join my email newsletter we send out. We send out emails every single Thursday and we like to call them stories from the Vault. So you’ll get some other stories that we don’t share anywhere else. ’cause I get so many stories, um, every single week. Like right now there’s probably 400 plus. I don’t even know, I haven’t looked at the full doc in a long time. Um, stories and situations and segments and questions that have been sent to me, um, we’re just working on their way out. So, uh, lots of different. Ways and places that I’m sharing them right now.
So thank you guys for listening. And um, you guys, I think I just had like a complete, like brain burst. I’ve been like, I feel like I’ve been pulled in so many directions. I think we all feel that. I don’t know what it, what’s going on, but there’s just so much going on right now that my brain sometimes is just like, I completely just had a brain pause. I don’t even know what you wanna call it, but thank you guys for hanging out with me.
Um. Okay. Thank you so much for hanging out with me this week. As a reminder, you can order my new book, here comes The Drama, a Ferris and Sloan story on. Amazon, Cobo, Barnes and Noble, Ingram Sparks, and many other places. You can find all the links in the show notes. Um, and don’t forget to tag me on social media. I’d love to hear your reviews, see where you’re reading it, um, and share it with a friend because the more people that read it or see about it, because the more people that read it or hear about it, um, just warms my heart, makes me happy.
All right guys. That’s all I have this week. Thanks for hanging out with me. Don’t forget, you now order my brand new book. I guess it’s not brand new anymore, but you could order my book. Here comes the Drama Affairs and Sloan story. Um, Amazon Cobo, Barnes and Noble, Ingram Spark and many other places. The details are in the show notes. I’m currently working on book number two, so that’s been a lot of fun to work on.
Um. I need to work on focusing a little bit more, but I’m excited because I’m taking the storyline that was on social media and like really deep diving it and adding a lot more that was not there before. So if you guys want first dibs or if you guys want some s some more sneak peeks into the book, make sure you’re on my email list.
All right guys. That’s all I got for you this week and I’ll see you next time. Bye now.
Vegas Vows, MIL Meltdown, and Uninvited Guests with Saron Olkaba
What happens when a mother-in-law hijacks your wedding and makes it all about her? Absolute mayhem.
This week on Here Comes the Drama, we dive into one of the most outrageous MIL meltdowns ever. From insisting on a 500-guest wedding to uninviting the bride from a wedding dinner, this story is a rollercoaster of entitlement, manipulation, and jaw-dropping audacity.
Saron Olkaba, a pop culture commentator, reality TV aficionado, and queen of hot takes joins Christa for a brutally honest take on wedding chaos, pop culture madness, and why cash bars should be banned. They’re spilling all the drama—from surprise proposals gone horribly wrong to the great debate on whether kids should even be at weddings.
Trust us, you don’t want to miss this one. If you love wedding scandals, unfiltered opinions, and stories that will make you gasp, this episode is for you!
Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month!
Episode Chapter Markers
00:00 Introduction
01:13 Pop Culture and Reality TV Talk
05:15 Wedding Hot Takes and Trends
14:43 Crazy Wedding Stories
19:25 Wedding Drama Unfolds
19:59 Mother-in-Law’s Overbearing Behavior
21:57 The Wedding Day Chaos
25:15 Post-Wedding Reflections and Confessions
Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments
- A bride shares how her MIL tried to double the guest list, uninvited her from a wedding dinner, and threw a fit over boundaries.
- Should you ever make guests pay for drinks?
- Should we retire the bouquet and garter toss tradition?
- A best man ambushes a wedding toast with a proposal—without asking the couple!
- Kids at weddings: Are they cute guests or chaotic distractions?
- When the groom actually attended a wedding-related event that excluded his bride…
- MIL’s final meltdown: Blocking, crying, and dramatic exits—this wedding story escalates to a shocking ending.
- Will the couple cut ties for good? Should this bride run before it’s too late?
Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode
- ”If you can’t be away from your kids, just don’t come, it’s fine.” – Saron Olkaba
- ”Some hills are not worth dying on and others are. You just have to trust your gut.” – Saron Olkaba
- “Cash bars, certainly, never, it’s never okay under any circumstance. That’s a huge problem.” – Saron Olkaba
- “Be creative. You don’t have to shove yourself into this box.” – Saron Olkaba
- “ Let’s not surprise a bride and groom on their wedding day.” – Christa Innis
About Saron
Saron Olkaba is a pop culture content creator known for her sharp commentary on celebrity news, reality TV, and trending topics. By blending humor, insight, and real talk, she delivers engaging takes on everything from viral scandals to entertainment industry moments.
With a background in political consulting, Saron brings a unique perspective to the digital space, proving that smart women can love pop culture too.
You can find her sharing the latest buzz on TikTok and Instagram (@saronthings), and stay tuned for her upcoming YouTube series featuring deep dives into the hottest topics in media.
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Join the Drama with Christa Innis:
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Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.
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A Team Dklutr Production
Blog Transcript:
Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Christa Innis: Well, hello. Thank you for coming on.
Saron Olkaba: Thank you for having me. I’m thrilled to be here.
Christa Innis: I’m so excited. I was saying before we started, I feel like I know you from watching, all your videos and your hot takes. I mean, you talk a lot about things in the media, I mean, right now it’s like Justin Valdoni and, I was gonna say Serena Van Der Woodsen.
Oh my gosh, aging. I haven’t watched Gossip Girl in so long. Blake Lively, totally a brain fart right there.
Saron Olkaba: Could not even think of the thing that people say about her, is that she plays the same person in every character she plays. So, like, Serena Van Der Woodsen and Blake Lively, kind of interchangeable.
Christa Innis: It’s fine. I do get a lot of news from you. I’m like, okay, when I see your video, I’m like, okay, I need to see what’s going on in the news. TikTok brings us all the good stuff we want to hear about.
Can you just tell everyone a little bit about yourself, what you do? and then we’ll kind of get into these crazy hot takes.
Getting to Know Saron Olkaba
Saron Olkaba: Yeah. So I make pop culture content on Instagram and TikTok. It’s content about like the zeitgeist things that are going on in the media, celebrity gossip. I think that, like most of my viewers and followers, are women. And I like to think that women contain multitudes, right? Like, I’m a political consultant in my nine to five day job, but, I also am obsessed with all things pop culture, and, you, Bravo and similar things. So I like to say that smart women Love this kind of sh*t as well. So I like to take it from a kind of Look at these things kind of from a higher level. I like to be fact based, but I also like to talk sh*t So it’s a fun little community.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I love it. I feel like it’s just a great Real Housewives, that kind of stuff, it’s great to just turn your head off, do your mind off, and just, watch some trash TV.
I haven’t watched Real Housewives in so long, like, that kind, but I was a big, like, New Jersey girl all the way. Loved watching it. So good.
Saron Olkaba: You have to, if you’re gonna watch the Housewives, Salt Lake City. Just watch that one. I urge you. To watch Salt Lake City. There are only five seasons. It’s immaculate. It’s horrifying. It’s. incredible, just please.
Christa Innis: Okay. I didn’t even know there was one. So I got to jump back in. I kind of like to hop around when it comes to reality TV. I was in bachelor nation for a little while. I wasn’t in it. I watched it.
Saron Olkaba: I missed
Christa Innis: Oh, yeah. No, definitely not. and then I would watch Bachelor in Paradise and I was like, I don’t know.
It’s all the same. Like I can’t get into it. So I like reality more. Like what’s going to happen is who’s going to fight with who? Right stuff.
Saron Olkaba: Yeah, I really got into The Bachelor because I feel like none of the couples really make it. So we’re just doing the same thing over again. We know how it is, they’re going to, they might be with each other for a little bit and then they break up or there’s two happy endings and 30 seasons. So, yes.
Christa Innis: Yeah. And it’s funny. I don’t know if you saw,, and by the time this comes out, this will probably be old news, but. Alex Cooper interviewed, I don’t even know if you know who Rachel Kirkholm is. Yeah, and they were one of the couples I was like, they’re holding on strong. They always presented themselves as happy.
And you see that and you’re just like, it was all a lie.
Saron Olkaba: Well, I think a lot of people are saying that he was just never gonna marry her if he didn’t want to get engaged at the end of this process where the end goal is to get engaged. What would make you think in the next four years something would change? So I’m excited to listen to that interview too.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I was listening to it last night, part of it and I was like, Oh my gosh, is she got her like quick. Let’s talk about it. So one of the reasons I was like, you would be perfect to have you come on this podcast is because you have so many great hot takes and I feel like just with these crazy, wedding stories, I get, um, proposal, engagement, all that stuff.
I was like, I need someone with some good opinions and we can just kind of banter through some stuff. So the first kind of category is crazy stories and wedding hot takes. So I have some different hot takes that people send me. And so I want to get your opinion on these. So what is one wedding trend or something that you’ve seen at weddings that you either absolutely include or you despise seeing?
Cash Bars, Garter Tosses, and Other Wedding Debates
Saron Olkaba: Cash bar, certainly, never, it’s never okay under any circumstance. That’s a huge problem. That’s a huge problem. Even if you don’t drink. Oh, alcohol free weddings. Even if you are sober, you got to provide, got to provide a drink or two and you can’t make people pay for it. I think it’s like the tackiest thing in the world. Period.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. I love it. I love it. No, I love it. I think it’s great. me personally. I agree. I feel like you need to have. Something there. I remember one time this actually just came to me. We’re talking about crazy stories. we’re at a wedding and it started off as a semi-open bar. So I think certain things were selected. It was fine. But then they switched to a cash bar without telling people and it was like people were getting their drinks. My now husband and I were up at the bar and he ordered drinks for us. And they were like, Okay, it’s this total. And he’s like, Oh, I thought this was open. Like, we didn’t have our wallets on us or anything.
And they’re like, No, switched to cash at 8 p.m. It was the weirdest thing. I would have said, Oh, I thought this was a wedding. Yeah,
I was like, Wait, this is weird. So then he ended up getting his wallet, buying the drinks. Then we left our drinks on the dance floor while we were dancing, and they cleared everyone’s drinks off the table.
So we’re like, they switched to a cash bar mid wedding, but didn’t announce it. And then we’re clearing the drinks off the tables when people are dancing. Oh no,
Saron Olkaba: That is absolutely unacceptable. Absolutely. You’re like providing an experience. People are coming out of their way to celebrate you.
They’re probably giving you a present. They might have flown out here. It’s not a paid experience. There’s already enough investment being involved in a wedding, just going to a wedding, doing all the events around a wedding. No, give them a good time if you’re gonna do it.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I totally agree with that. So, what are your thoughts on the bouquet and garter toss, because this is one of the ones I always ask Instagram followers, and this is like the one that comes up all the time to get rid of it, stop doing it. It’s weird. It’s gross. So what is your take on it?
Saron Olkaba: Yes to the bouquet, no to the garter. The garter is when the guy goes literally under her dress. That is a horror, that’s not okay. I can’t imagine. I feel like I’m at the wedding. My dad’s here, that’s so insane, no, please.
That’s not. I don’t feel particularly passionate about the bouquet as passionately as I feel about the garter knot, which should not be a thing, it’s fun, but I hope no one actually thinks that it means that you’re gonna be the one to get married next.
Christa Innis: I. Literally have been to so many weddings where the women get vicious and they like to push you. I’m like, we know we’re not actually the next one. Like it’s going to be okay. I’ve seen the videos too where they like literally push all the way and I’m like, it’s not that serious.
Saron Olkaba: Like full on shove her to the ground.
Christa Innis: No, not for me.
Saron Olkaba: Not for me at all. And then there’s the like, you throw the bouquet and then someone catches it or like she hands it to the woman so that she can get proposed to. That’s my list of no’s as well. proposals at the wedding.
Christa Innis: Yes, I’m so glad you brought that up because someone shared a confession with me last week saying at her wedding, the best man during his speech proposed to his girlfriend, who was also a bridesmaid.
And I was like, no one knew? The bride and groom didn’t know that was gonna happen? No one knew. She said she was mortified. Security. Security. Yeah, out of here. I was like, I need to know more. I messaged her and I was like, can you tell me more? And so she said they ended up pulling him away and being like, this is not okay.
And they didn’t understand why. But then he still came back, put the ring on her finger. She hugged him and said yes. In front of everybody. She’s walking around the dance floor showing off her ring. She’s like, yeah. I can’t even believe this happened. And she’s like, I always watched your crazy wedding stories thinking it would never happen to me.
And that happened. Were there any signs that this man was a psychopath prior to? They said they’ve been friends with him for a long time. And I, I don’t know. I don’t realize how Weird and rude that is.
Saron Olkaba: No, it’s so tacky. No.
Christa Innis: Absolutely not.
Saron Olkaba: Unless, you know, the bride is in on it. And I’ve seen videos where the bride is full on team, get proposed throughout my wedding, like here’s the bouquet, turn around, I was like, yay. And do you, God bless you. That’s incredible. right. Couldn’t be me, but incredible nonetheless.
Christa Innis: Right.
Saron Olkaba: So that’s fine.
Christa Innis: Yeah. There’s a lot of steps you should take before making sure that’s okay. Like no surprise. Let’s not surprise a bride and groom on their wedding day.
Saron Olkaba: Right? No.
Christa Innis: Okay. So these are just some fun, like picking a side on these wedding drama debates. These are other unpopular opinions that people sent me.
So this person said having kids at the reception is a good thing and they should come and feel welcome. What’s your take on kids at weddings?
Saron Olkaba: I think that just likeA declarative sentence, having kids at a wedding is a good thing, like, by what measure, you if the bride and groom feel like it’s going to be a safe experience for them and whatever, sure, but if they want to party and not have to worry about some kid getting trampled on the dance floor, that’s completely up to them, and you should absolutely respect it, It’s not up to you, so, I don’t understand why people get so upset about it, it’s a big deal for them, it’s the one event where they’re allowed to kind of do this, if you can’t be away from your kids, just don’t come, it’s fine, just RSVP, no, yeah.
Christa Innis: I know, that’s why I’m like, when people get so upset about it, I’m like, if you can’t go, just say no, wouldn’t be offended. Either way, I’m like, now that I have a toddler, I get it. If people do not want a toddler, day, night, either for me, or if we can’t get a babysitter, I will say no, because I would not want to.
A toddler there. Like, I get it. it’s just like, when people get so mad about it, I’m like, I don’t understand the philosophy.
Saron Olkaba: That being said, I told you I was engaged once and I almost got married. It was like a couple of months out from the wedding when it was cancelled.
But, having said that, I’m more than okay with child free weddings. We had set up child care for the people that were going to come and babysitters. And there was a difference, they were in a completely different place with their home. They would have been with their own food and their own people watching them.
And their parents could have gone back and forth to see whatever. So, If you’re going to have kids at your wedding, I think that’s a nice way to do it.
Christa Innis: I love that. I’ve been hearing that more and more. People have a separate area, a fun room for kids, or fun things, yeah. Padded walls. Exactly, yeah. Blocked, because that’s the thing. It’s like the biggest thing I think with kids at a wedding is, it’s the parents that aren’t watching the kids, or like, they’re at a certain age where they can get into anything. Like, I know if I bring my toddler somewhere, like, they’re, she’s gonna figure out a way to try to do something.
And so, like, there’s certain ages, too, where it’s like, you have to either be on them the whole time, or you can’t enjoy yourself. So, I feel like the extra room is great. Like, we had just, like, our nieces and nephews at our wedding, which was, like, so great. seven kids. And we, but we were provided with coloring stuff.
We had their own kids table. Plus we knew them well enough to where like, okay, we know they’re going to be well behaved there.
Saron Olkaba: So you said only like, I think that that’s perfectly fair as well. If you’re just like only the children that are related to us can come, like, and if people make a stink about not being able to bring their kids because, Oh, like, why can they come then? You know?
Christa Innis: Yeah. Sucks to suck. I know, because that’s something I hear too. They’re like, oh, but if you say no to my kids and I come and your nieces and nephews are there, I’ll be so mad. It’s like, you’re gonna be mad that like the bride’s niece is there versus like a co-worker’s son or something like that. I’m like, that’s so different.
Saron Olkaba: The entire drama is wild.
Christa Innis: They just don’t come. It’s fun. It is so wild. This person said, White bridesmaid dresses are weird.
Saron Olkaba: If the bride likes it, I love it. I’m not judging someone’s, like, aesthetic choices in, like, that sense. If the bridesmaid dresses are, like, stunning, gorgeous white, as long as they look good, I don’t care.
I mean, and, I don’t know if you’ve watched, like, Selling Sunset, Christine Quinn. She had, like, this black ball gown wedding dress. Oh, I did! Right? And so like, is it my style? No, but like, I don’t know. It’s 2025. We’ve been doing weddings for a long time. Like, let’s, I don’t know, let’s mix it up.
Christa Innis: I love, yeah, I love when people do like unique, crazy stuff.
I love when the bridesmaids all wear white dresses along with the bride. I think it looks pretty. But I saw this bride that had a dress that turned into a rainbow and like, like, she unbuttoned it and it turned into this rainbow dress. And I was like, that is beautiful. That’s stunning. That’s something I never would have thought of.
Yeah. Like, you go, girl.
Saron Olkaba: Be creative. You don’t have to, like, shove yourself into this box. Like, as long I mean, if you want to As long as you’re getting married at the end of it, that’s the end goal. Just like throw the party you want to throw and invite the people you want to invite. Like you’re spending a lot of money on this sh*t.
Have a good day, do whatever you want to do. Yeah.
Christa Innis: Do you black out all the haters? Pluck out the naysayers, provide
Saron Olkaba: booze, but provide,
Christa Innis: provide booze. Yeah. Provide some good entertainment. Good DJ. Yeah. Okay. Let’s jump into. This week’s story. It’s a long one. That’s all I can do. I have not read it. Just the beginning starts with the monster in law.
So it’s about to get kind of crazy.
Saron Olkaba: I love monster in law stories.
Monster-in-Law Alert: Wedding Drama at Its Worst
Christa Innis: It’s insane. I read these and I feel so grateful that I have a great mother-in-law. I reason I’m just like, these are insane. okay, so feel free to stop me at any point. And then I’ll kind of just pause and we can kind of just react as we go.
okay. I’ve been holding my tongue for a long while, but I’m angry all the time and I needed to get this off my chest. So who better than to tell you? Hopefully this will give some content, um, because I honestly don’t know what else to do about my monster in law. I got engaged in July 2024, and from the moment we announced it, my future mother-in-law started bombarding us with questions about the wedding.
She asked when it would be, how many people we were thinking of inviting. I told her around 250 guests and she immediately said, no, it should be 500, 500. Holy cow. Um, Right. I’m like, that’s the thing, too, is like you find the ones that are so opinionated are not even giving any money a lot of times.
Saron Olkaba: I would think that would be obvious, like, you can’t say you can double the wedding if you’re not paying for the wedding.
That’s insane. Okay, continue. Yeah.
Christa Innis: No, I agree. Um, I calmly explained that we only wanted people we were close to, family or not. I also mentioned it would be a kid-free wedding except for nieces and nephews. There we go. She lost it and started a fight. Okay, a few weeks later the topic came up again, and I mentioned we were planning a sober wedding since my fiance is two years sober. He’s like covering all the things we just talked about.
Saron Olkaba: I swear we did not cover
Christa Innis: Literally, I don’t even put these together because I don’t want to read them ahead of time, so I did not even know. My mother-in-law and future sister in law laughed and said it was fine. But my fiance would need to leave the reception because they would be drinking. Wait, but isn’t this his mom and sister?
Saron Olkaba: Why would they want your fiance? The groom would be leaving his own reception to drink elsewhere apart from the
Christa Innis: what? And this is confusing because I’m like, it’s the mother-in-law, you would think she would be not wanting to like you think she’d be up against the bride, but not the groom because the groom’s her son, right?
Saron Olkaba: I think that she’s probably positioning this as oh, he wants to have a good time and drink so he can’t stay at a dry reception all night. Like we got to go to the bar or some Insanity like that. I don’t know. Please. I can’t wait to go.
Christa Innis: What? Oh my gosh. Okay. Um, That is crazy. Okay. Eventually my fiance and I decided to get married in Las Vegas to avoid all the drama.
We kept the guest list to immediate family and one friend each because the venue could only hold 50 people. We thought this would make things easier. It didn’t. Oh yeah, someone like that’s going to come right in being like, You didn’t invite me.
Saron Olkaba: Continue. There’s no winning. Okay.
Christa Innis: Yeah, this is like two weeks before the wedding. Okay, so they still were going to have this big wedding. They just did like an elopement, just the two of them. So two weeks before the wedding, my mother in law started talking about my fiancé’s dad’s nephew. I’m like, fiancé’s dad’s nephew, okay?
Um, come back. Yeah. Oh yeah. I’m like, drawing a tree in my head. I’m like, where did this go? Um, I never met this nephew. In the 12 years I’d known my fiancé, I told her the guest list was set, and there was no room. She said that was fine, and he could just enjoy it, he could just join us afterwards. I agreed.
Five days before the wedding, my fiancé got a text from his sister in law, oh, from his sister. Inviting him to dinner. He asked if I was welcome and she said, no, family only. That’s weird. His mom chimed in, doubling down saying only immediate family. She cannot come. Okay. Don’t you think like a fiance kind of becomes that?
Okay, this was a dinner to celebrate my fiance getting married and I wasn’t invited what
Saron Olkaba: getting married
Christa Innis: to you and they didn’t want you to come. Okay, he went while I stayed home and then he went. See
Saron Olkaba: girl, this is why you can’t, I already know how I feel. You can’t marry this man. This is a crazy situation.
Don’t, you’re asking for misery for the rest of your f*cking life. Yes. Who will not, who will go to a wedding, a party about a wedding that you are the bride in, that you are not invited to. He said, chill, bet, like this sounds normal to me. This is how you want to start our union? This is insane. You can’t, you can’t do this.
You can’t marry this. No,
Christa Innis: I am. Yeah. What? I am shocked. Why would he go without you? That would be like a no for me. That would be like, sorry. Like, you, you’re choosing your immediate family, who, your fiance, new wife, should be your immediate family. No.
Saron Olkaba: Marry your sister then. Marry your mom. What?
Christa Innis: Okay, five, Okay, later, okay, so he went, while I stayed at home, later my mother-in-law made a Facebook post congratulating him and tagged me in it, which this is important later, she says.
The day before we left for Vegas, my mother-in-law asked me to lunch. Even though I had so much to do, I agreed. At lunch, she told me my fiancé’s little brother had invited a friend to the wedding. I corrected her, saying he asked Wait saying he asked but we said no. Okay, so that little brother had already asked them and she said no She replied.
Well, he invited her weeks ago, and I said it was fine. It’s too late to uninvite her now
Saron Olkaba: It’s not even too late to uninvite you b*tch. Okay, so what do you mean? It’s too late to uninvite her
Christa Innis: Like what is this controlling behavior? Like I’m already so like Angry for this person because I’m like he your fiance is not even on your side.
Saron Olkaba: I’m sweating. Okay,
Christa Innis: this is bad Yeah, I feel like hot
Okay, I was furious but decided to talk to my fiance first when I told him he immediately texted his mom explaining It was disrespectful to invite someone without asking us that she needed to tell the friend he couldn’t come This sparked a meltdown. My future sister in law started calling and yelling at him, but he stood by me, okay, finally, saying no one else was getting a plus one.
When we arrived in Vegas, my mother-in-law asked again, Okay, so the wedding in Vegas is where the mother-in-law’s coming?
Saron Olkaba: Did I? She’s coming to both. Okay. They did the wedding in Vegas first because they thought it would placate her. And they invited only the immediate family from both sides, right? But they’re still having this big wedding.
Okay. They thought it would shut her up to do the first thing.
Christa Innis: To do her own thing. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. Because I’m like There’s so much happening. Yeah, you’ve got me. Okay. When we arrived in Vegas, my mother in law asked again if the nephew could come to the wedding because he was already there. I reminded her there was no room and my fiancé backed me up.
On the wedding day, I went to brunch with girls from both sides of the family. My mother in law ignored me completely. Even when I greeted her, I brushed it off and enjoyed the day. This mother in law hates her. Like, this is, I would be like, you are, you can’t come. This is terrible. Like, why would you want to feel like a stranger or unwanted at your own wedding?
Like,
Saron Olkaba: I don’t, I’m like, you can’t have this. She just has the worst energy. She’s just gonna, she’s gonna try and ruin your day. Why would you, no, I would hire security, give them a picture and That would be it.
Christa Innis: Yeah, because it’s not her right to be at this wedding.
Saron Olkaba: Like,
Christa Innis: I’d be like You’re, you’re done. Sorry.
I don’t want you there. She’s a guest. She’s a guest. Yeah, you are nothing more than a guest who could easily be scratched right off. Um, at this ceremony, my sisters told me that my fiancé’s family had taken up the front rows on both sides of the pews. My mother in law refused to move, saying her parents can find another place to sit.
No, so now she’s rude to, like, her family.
Saron Olkaba: I, I’m, I, okay, like this would not be, go well
Christa Innis: for me, or, or, like, I, cause now you’re gonna be, like you said, you’re gonna be dealing with this mother in law for the rest of your life. Like, if it’s bad now, imagine like, if they have kids, or if they buy a house, you know, any step in there,
Saron Olkaba: I don’t understand why someone would, why anyone would sign up to deal with that forever.
Like, mm hmm. You’re asking to be miserable for the rest of you, what man is worth that? What man is worth having to deal with the devil day, no.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I really hope this ends with like, they cut her off. Like, they’re done with her, I hope. Fingers crossed. Uh, cause that’s like the only way this is gonna work, I feel like.
Um, okay. So she said she had to move. I had to ask the officiant to step in and remind everyone which side was for the bride’s family and which for the groom’s. This made my mother in law furious. After the ceremony, during photos, the photographer suggested moving one of my fiancé’s siblings to my side to even things out.
My sister in law loudly said, Hell no, I’m not going over there. I ignored it. At the bowling alley reception, my mother in law asked, “Who are these animals? Who
Saron Olkaba: are these beasts?
Christa Innis: I don’t know, why do they think they’re so much better than, like, her and her family? Oh, God. Jesus. It’s like I’m speechless. This is probably one of the worst mother in law stories I’ve read.
And I’ve read a lot. At the bowling alley reception, my mother in law refused to sign the guest book, despite me and my husband asking multiple times. When she finally did, she just wrote congratulations with no warmth, and she left without saying goodbye.
Saron Olkaba: Like why? That’s the nicest thing she’s done thus far.
That’s the most pleasant she’s been in this whole story.
Christa Innis: Yeah. The next day, my mom invited us to lunch before she left town. My mother in law didn’t contact us, but took my brother, my husband’s brothers to go go karting and sightseeing instead. When my husband asked why we weren’t invited, she said, you were busy.
We weren’t. Two days later, I made a Facebook post about the wedding and saw that my mother in law had untagged me from her earlier post. When my husband asked why, she said, it was a post only for you.
Saron Olkaba: Ew. Do you wanna f*ck your son? Like, what is going on here? Why? I’m sorry, can I, can I curse here? Yeah, you’re fine.
Christa Innis: A little late to ask that question, but. Redo! No. Yeah, it’ll be fine. I don’t know. That is, um, yeah, why? Like why? I don’t get these mothers-in-law that hate their daughters-in-law so much that they’re, that they have no, they don’t care like what they say, like, I don’t, like no one’s good enough for their son.
I don’t, I don’t know what it is.
Saron Olkaba: It’s an enmeshment. I think that’s the word. Or like, what is that, um, no, it’s emotionally incest, even worse. Yes. No, that’s creepy as hell. Right.
Christa Innis: There was this skit, I don’t know if you watch SNL. There was the, did you see, um, oh, who hosted the Timothee Chalamet one? No, I haven’t seen it.
This last weekend? Okay, you have to watch it, but there’s one about that, but it’s extreme, like the Oedipus Complex. It’s about like Mother’s Day and like the sun being like, hey mom. I don’t know, it’s like. I,
Saron Olkaba: I’m horrified that I’m going to be looking this up just immediately after we get off this.
You need to.
Christa Innis: It was like a cringe, but I was like. It’s like way over the top, but it was like some of these moms, yeah, I could see it. I find
Saron Olkaba: It’s like, once you meet this psycho mom, mother in law, right? How, and you see that this man sees nothing wrong with their relationship and kind of encourages it and won’t ask her.
How are you still attracted to this man that might want to f*ck his mom? Like, I, how do you not, how do you not get the ick immediately and run away from, like, self preservation?
Christa Innis: Yeah, like, cause this is, my thing is, this is not the first time something like this has happened. She had given signs before they got engaged, or when they first met, like, I’m thinking, like, first dinner at a parent’s house.
Every girlfriend
Saron Olkaba: had a book before
Christa Innis: him, before her. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, like, what were the signs before? Yeah, because it wasn’t like, oh, they’re engaged now, they’re serious, now my real, like, craziness is gonna come out. Like, I feel like she had to have treated her poorly before this.
Saron Olkaba: Right. And the sister in law is also a b*tch as well.
Christa Innis: Yeah, what’s the deal with that? Okay, three days after the wedding, she texted my husband saying she wanted to talk about my behavior at the wedding. What? He told her he wouldn’t have that conversation without me there, and she refused. A few days later, she blocked me on social media and deleted my husband?
So what her behavior was like having boundaries and like, No, expecting her
Saron Olkaba: parents to be able to sit in the front row. Yeah. And not allowing some, uh, the friend of a co-worker of her neighbor’s nephew to come last minute. Those were the things. Right. Those were the things.
Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s, it’s. Those are really harsh to have.
I mean, maybe blocking on social media and deleting the husband is like the best thing, because then you guys can’t see her on social media. I wouldn’t have said a thing
Saron Olkaba: about that.
Christa Innis: I would have
Saron Olkaba: said,
Christa Innis: great. I’m like, awesome. Yeah, you saved it. Saved, saved me from doing it. When I tried reaching out, she called my husband crying.
Here we go. The victim said she’d been crying every day because of how I treated her. When he defended me like a good, she hung up because she realized he was gone. He is not, he’s not backing you up anymore, crazy mom. He is now
Saron Olkaba: someone else’s husband. Not yours.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Not yours. Finally, my husband texted her saying she had two options.
Have a conversation or lose him. She replied, I guess I won’t be seeing you anymore then. I mean, I would say hallelujah.
Saron Olkaba: I would be like, I’m so sorry, babe. Yeah. It’ll be like, we’ll, we’ll get this. It’s just trying to keep my face straight. Okay.
Christa Innis: I know. I feel like the petty in me, I’d be like, I’d text her, I’d be like, well, have a great life. Best of luck. Yeah. Honestly, like I’m, I’m relieved, you know, and I really hope they don’t like to contact her.
And I hope it’s just like left that way because this, like we were saying, this mother in law would make her life a living hell.
Saron Olkaba: Yeah. But like do, like crazy mother in laws like this, like just like let it, like let things go. Oops. I know, did
Christa Innis: She came creeping back? It’s over, yeah, right. They’re not that easy to get rid of, I’m
Saron Olkaba: pretty sure.
Christa Innis: I wonder how, like, soon this, how soon she sent me this story after it happened. So, like, if this was, like, that day or, like, a week later.
Saron Olkaba: Yeah, we might need a, a, uh,
Christa Innis: Yeah, we might need her to like to follow. Yeah, we need to follow up. We need one of those episodes where it’s like you tell us like everything that has happened since.
Did she really not speak her word? Um, because yeah, it could be that victim mentality of like, fine, I guess I’ll never see you again. You know, so dramatic. Yeah. They show up at the front door. Let’s make up. But big
Saron Olkaba: romantic gesture.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Come back. Running back to them. Um, well that was a crazy story.
Um, really hoping that this, um, bride woman, um, got some stronger boundaries away from this mother in law because if she comes crawling back, you know, it’s, it’s going to be worse. I don’t think this, this woman’s not realizing what she’s doing wrong. Yeah.
Saron Olkaba: Yeah. Yeah.
Christa Innis: Yeah. There’s.
Saron Olkaba: I mean, honestly, this ended the best case scenario for me.
Like ideally if she, I mean, this is your best chance at peace, ma’am. So let’s just continue praying every night that she sticks to no content and contact, and you can live your life peacefully because she sounds. Absolutely horrible. But like, is your husband sad about it?
Christa Innis: I don’t, that’s not your problem.
Yeah. Yeah, I’m glad the husband I hope he kind of realizes like showing up at that dinner without her was kind of weird. Because it seems like later on in these stories, he’s defending her more. So I’m like, okay, maybe he went and was like, okay, the way my mom’s acting is weird. Yeah, it was
Saron Olkaba: weird for me to go to a wedding with, about, without the bride that I’m marrying.
Yeah, perhaps. That’s, that’s
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Saron Olkaba: That was weird. That was weird. Let’s do that. Jesus. Frig it. That was insane.
Christa Innis: That was, yeah. So, uh, props to you for keeping your boundaries up and I just hope it stays that way and, and uh, your husband realizes that. He needs to back you up first.
Saron Olkaba: Yeah, let us know if, um, if she stays out of your life.
I pray that she does. Yeah,
Christa Innis: yeah, I think I need to do, like, uh, there’s so many stories on here that I, like, need follow ups with, so I feel like I need to reach out to some of these people and be like, a follow up episode and, like, share what’s been going on since, since they sent it. Cause this was 2024, so we’re talking seven months later now.
Hopefully seven months of peace
Saron Olkaba: and quiet. So much peace and quiet. It’s like your first seven months being married. I would imagine you just want to enjoy that. You do want someone tainting every big life milestone. Every time you have kids, she’s going to make it a problem. Like, every holiday. Like, you’re literally signing up to never enjoy anything, almost, like, ever again.
Best case scenario is that she eliminates herself from the situation. Yeah.
Christa Innis: And she can feel like a victim all she wants and you can live your best life. So
Saron Olkaba: 100%. Yeah.
Wedding Confessions & Unfiltered Reactions
Christa Innis: Yeah. Okay. All right. So I like to end this with a weekly confessions game. So people send their confessions and we kind of just We can rate them.
Sometimes it’s kind of weird rating them because I feel like, I’m like, oh, your confession wasn’t great. So, um, we can rate them if we want. But, um, so people send these ones. Here we go. Um, my sister in law got mad she wasn’t my maid of honor and then questioned all of my wedding decisions.
Saron Olkaba: Uh, she sounds awful.
Uh, no wonder she was not your maid of honor. And you sound like you have discernment, ma’am. So,
Christa Innis: yeah. Sounds like she didn’t even know you knew why.
Saron Olkaba: You’re not allowed to. You’re not allowed to get mad at people for the choices that they make in their wedding, right? Like, if she feels that someone, she wanted to have someone be her maid of honor that’s not, like, her, what she did was her being honest.
Her changing her mind is just doing it to placate you. Why would you want that? Let her have whoever she wants beside her. If you’re her sister and you love her, whatever, make sure she has the day that she wants and it’s not about you. It’s literally not about you.
Christa Innis: Yeah, totally agree. Um, oh, this one tells a couple not to marry each other.
We begged, um, was begged by so many people up until the wedding to stop it. So I don’t know what the outcome was. I did see one similar, maybe this is the other part of it, but I did see one similarly where she said they still got married and she still regrets, like they still like regret, regret it or something.
Um, letting it happen? Yeah, yeah, she said she liked to tell a couple, yeah.
Saron Olkaba: You have to be okay with every possible outcome. You gotta play this every way, you know, like if I tell her and she is, Like, f*ck you, I never want to speak to you again. Is this worth me potentially losing my friendship? Is this, are his, are the problems with him big enough or dangerous enough that it’s worth risking her reacting poorly and me losing her and her being like, even more isolated with this person?
Like, you just have to think that through. Some, like, some hills are not worth dying on and others are. You just have to trust your gut. I know.
Christa Innis: Yeah, like, I’ve definitely been a part of a wedding where she Was very unhappy and you could tell it was, like, a bachelorette party. They were, she was very upset. Like, I don’t want to go through with this.
And we’re like giving her support, like, Hey, we’re here. Like, you don’t have to do it. Like I’m talking like the night before the wedding, like after the rehearsal dinner, crying in the car with us and long story short, they got a divorce. So like. It didn’t work out. And, um, Were there signs? There were lots of signs.
Lots of signs. I think you’re right. Like,
Saron Olkaba: literally weeping the night before your wedding. Yeah. Not of happiness is
Christa Innis: Yeah. Well, that’s the thing. It’s like, So we could have been like, no, you’re not gonna marry him. Like, we’ll beg, you know. But it’s like, ultimately, it was her decision. Like, she was worried, more worried about like, you know, vendors that they already paid and this and that.
And it’s just like
Saron Olkaba: Vendors? That’s like a couple emails and you just gotta be, okay, eating, believe me, I’ve done it before, eating like tens of thousands of dollars, not great, but like, but like that versus, divorces are more expensive, first and foremost. Yes. If you, if you have something worth losing and also like, just don’t, if you have the Ability to stop the train.
Stop the f*cking train.
Christa Innis: Yes.
Saron Olkaba: Yeah. As quickly
Christa Innis: as possible.
Saron Olkaba: Okay, like, don’t wait to get so far down the road.
Christa Innis: Yeah, did you see the girl who went viral because she was left at the altar? Like, literally the most terrible, like, humiliating thing, right? But she turned it into, like, this fabulous party and they documented the whole thing and I was like, you go girl.
Like, she like I don’t even know, like, she went viral of, like, sharing this, like, amazing video of herself dancing at the wedding, and, like, I was like, yeah, you know what? That’s what you do. You turn up, you have a great party, that’s what you gotta do. I saw
Saron Olkaba: That, and you’re 100 percent correct. She is, like, the strongest.
She’s, like, an inspiration. She completely turned it around, um, and, like, when something that, like, that happens, Like, two months before, like, with me, devastating day of, I can’t even f*cking imagine, I can’t imagine, and to be able to, like, to find some joy in that day, and like, actually Realized that, oh, there are a bunch of people here that really love me.
And this is like a very sad or scary moment for me. And I could either isolate myself and, and kind of immediately start dwelling in it. Or I would like to try and make the best of it with all these people who adore me and want to see me happy. And it was just, it was incredible to watch. And she’s an inspiration.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I love that. I’m like, I don’t know. I don’t know how it acted at something like that. But I’m like, she’s yeah, definitely an inspiration in that aspect. Um, well, that is all I have planned for today. Thank you so much for coming on. It was so fun chatting with you. Um, I love your content. I love all the stuff you talk about.
Like I said, I feel like I get all my like pop culture, like what’s going on in the world from you. Um, so can you share with everyone where they can find you any fun things you’re working on and all that good stuff?
Saron Olkaba: Yeah, um, you can find me at saronthings, S A R O N, things, um, on TikTok and on, uh, Instagram.
I’m going to be starting a YouTube series soon, um, two 30 minute pop culture breakdowns a week, so stay tuned for that, but yeah, I’m mostly on, uh, Instagram and TikTok.
Christa Innis: Awesome. Well, thank you again so much for coming on. Yeah, it was so fun. It was so great chatting with you. Right. Awesome.those, and hopefully those will come out sometime early 2025.
Christa Innis: Oh, that’s so cool! How awesome. You, like, you do it all. You’ve got a lot of projects. My brain doesn’t stop.
Cassie Horrell: It’s like I have an idea and I’m like, yeah, I’m just going to go for it. have no clue what I’m doing out here.
I’m just having fun and going with the flow.
Christa Innis: I love it. It’s that like planner mindset where you’re just like, okay, let’s just do it. Let’s get busy and find something. I love that. well, when those are available, definitely send me links and stuff and we can get it in the show notes. Well, thank you so much for coming on.
That was so fun having you react. Like I said, had some people tag you in like comments and stuff and now I follow your stuff and I like I love your content because you’re so involved in the wedding stuff that you’ve got stories for days so yeah
Cassie Horrell: but I feel like we have a very similar audience because we’re storytellers and like my whole page isn’t storytelling but Usually one a day, I try to tell stories and I get the same, like, people will be like, Did you see her story? And they’ll tag me, and I’m like, Oh, I saw it. That’s a juicy one. Yes.
Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s so good. I, can’t stop watching the, drama stories. They just, those ones just get me. Like, I love it.
Cassie Horrell: I feel like they’re like, a little bit of, like, reprieve from people’s everyday life.
Like, they come and they watch our stories, and it’s like, a minute and a half of like, totally Drama that they’re not in.
Christa Innis: Yes. And they get
Cassie Horrell: their little fix for the day, and then they’re like, Okay, I’ll come back tomorrow, like, see the next part, or whatever’s going on.
Christa Innis: Yes, yeah, it’s a good little, little break from reality, I think.
Yes. Awesome. Well, thank you so much again for coming on. It was awesome chatting with you. Thank you so much.
All right, guys, that was my interview with Cassie. I love chatting with her. It’s so fun to hear from someone that is so involved in the wedding industry. She’s got a lot of hot takes and she has. Honestly seen it all. So, thank you, Cassie, for coming on. Just a reminder, guys, if you love this episode or loving this podcast, please leave a review on Apple podcast.
It really helps more people hear the podcast. And helps me create more amazing content for you. so I really appreciate all the support that this podcast has gotten so far, and I can’t wait for more people to hear it and to create some more content. If you also have suggestions of who you want to see next on the podcast, feel free to send me an email, send me some submissions.
I cannot wait to share more stories with more people. All right, guys, thanks so much for tuning in and I will see you next time.
Mother-in-Law Drama: Wedding Secrets, Demands, and Hot Takes with Suzanne Lambert
When your future mother-in-law demands to crash your bachelorette party, you know the drama is just getting started.
That’s just one of the bold wedding hot takes Christa Innis and Suzanne Lambert—a DC-based comedian, writer, and content creator whose sharp wit and strong opinions have earned her a dedicated following—tackle in this episode of Here Comes the Drama.
From setting boundaries with overbearing in-laws to debating dress codes and cash gifts, no topic is off-limits. Suzanne brings her sharp wit to the chaos of wedding culture—why some brides treat their big day like a year-long holiday and the awkward reality of forced wedding party invites.
Plus, they react to jaw-dropping listener confessions, from toxic family members to wedding guests who just don’t get it. If you love wedding chaos, hot takes, and unfiltered humor, this episode is for you!
Tune in as Christa and Suzanne break down the good, the bad, and the truly outrageous moments from weddings gone wrong.
Episode Chapter Markers
00:00 Introduction
02:33 Wedding Culture and Boundaries
04:52 Wedding Hot Takes and Dress Codes
11:39 Wedding Drama and Unpopular Opinions
32:20 Victim Mentality and Misunderstandings
34:48 Silent Treatment and Family Dynamics
36:15 Confrontation in the Pantry
47:57 Wedding Dress Shopping Drama
Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments
- The unrealistic expectations placed on brides and why “Bridezilla” is often just a woman setting boundaries.
- Why do some people turn every holiday into an excuse to post their wedding photos?
- The hilarious (and sometimes cringe-worthy) wedding traditions that should be left in the past.
- The great wedding guest dress code debate – should weddings have strict guidelines?
- The audacity of guests demanding freebies and influencers expecting comped wedding services.
- Why is wedding culture often riddled with passive-aggressive family dynamics, and how to handle them?
Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode
- “People have a real problem with women sticking up for themselves.” – Suzanne Lambert
- “The behavior you allow is the behavior that will continue.” – Suzanne Lambert
- “Do you want people to look good and feel good in your photos? Because that’s what’s important, not turning them into your aesthetic props.” – Suzanne Lambert
- “ I feel so bad for these brides because they can’t stand up for themselves and they need someone like that” – Christa Innis
About Suzanne
Suzanne Lambert is a DC-based comedian, writer, and content creator known for her sharp wit and unfiltered takes on everything from politics to pop culture. She started performing comedy in 2018—despite (or rather, because of) an ex-boyfriend who said he’d dump her if she did. Since then, she’s taken the stage at acclaimed venues like the DC Improv, Laughing Skull, Arlington Drafthouse, Side Splitters, and the legendary Friars Club. Suzanne has performed alongside top acts like Mark Normand, Katherine Blanford, and Tony Woods.
Her comedic style blends amused bewilderment with strangely strong opinions on the most unexpected topics. A Georgia native, she carries a Southern charm laced with biting humor and a deep appreciation for the absurdity of modern life. Beyond the stage, she keeps audiences laughing on TikTok (@itssuzannelambert), where her content has been featured in Newsweek and CNN.
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Blog Transcript:
Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Christa Innis: Hi, Suzanne. Thank you so much for coming on. I’m so excited to talk to you. So, for anyone who doesn’t know, you can just tell us a little bit about you. And at first, I have to say, I love your content. I love how witty and narky. I don’t even know how you would describe it, but you’re so quick-witted.
And when I found you, I was like, this is an instant follow because it brings joy to my feed. I love it. I love that. Yeah. So just tell me a little bit about what you do. And, uh, I thought you’d be perfect for this.
Suzanne’s Journey From Wedding Critic to Viral Comic
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah, I’m so pumped to be here. Now I told you, but I started my comedy career really talking about wedding culture.
So, this is such a great fit, but my name is Suzanne Lambert. I’m a comedian, writer, and content creator. A lot of what I create content about is political, but we talk about all kinds of things. We talk about skincare; we talk about makeup. I’m a Georgia girl, and I live in DC, so I definitely have a Southern influence on a lot of my content, but I just really try to make people laugh at the end of the day.
And Have a little bit of fun and talk a little bit of shit. So
Christa Innis: I love that. Yeah. What I’m trying to do here with this podcast is share some crazy hot takes that people have when it comes to weddings and people who aren’t afraid to say what’s on their minds. And I feel like you emulate that pretty well.
And. I feel like you’re that friend that a lot of brides need when it comes to setting boundaries. Because a lot of these stories are crazy, either relatives coming in or a friend that tries to sabotage your wedding. And so I feel so bad for these brides, or it can be a story from a bridesmaid or whoever.
I feel bad for them because they can’t stand up for themselves, and they need someone like that.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah, totally. I’ve been in that position before, and we might get into it later where I’ve had to intervene on behalf of the bride and tell other people in the party or even tell people they’d hire that, ok, we need to do things a little differently because I think a lot of Brides are so afraid of coming off as a bridezilla don’t draw boundaries or stand up for themself when they need to. And then, of course, you see the reverse, where people are just acting all kinds of crazy. So there, Yes. It feels like there is, very often in-bein-between
Christa Innis: Oh yeah. It’s like you can’t win. ’cause even the stories were like I clearly show.
The bride’s family is maybe like an in-law, or something is being horrible to her, and they’re like, well, She’s a bridezilla because she said no plus ones or no kids, and it’s like, come on, right?
Suzanne Lambert: People have a real problem with women sticking up for themselves, And I’m like, if this was actually real life and you knew this person and you heard this was going on, there’s no way you would take that other person’s side.
But because they’re a bride. Are they automatically wrong? Like, no.
Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s insane. Like, sometimes my blood boils reading these stories because I’m just like, why do we have such hate towards these women? I read a crazy mother-in-law story yesterday where literally nothing the bride did could be right.
Like she could do anything, and this mother-in-law was terrible to her. And I’m like, why? It’s just that, misogynistic, like, I don’t know. Internal misogyny or something. I don’t know.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah. The boy-mom thing can be really weird. My mother-in-law is an angel. I’m so thankful. I didn’t have to deal with any of that from members of my family, thankfully, but I’ve seen it, , and it’s wildIt’ske absolutely wild.
Christa Innis: Yes. Oh my gosh. Yeah, same here. I can’t relate to that. I’m very sorry for the brides that have to. So I kind of wanna start off talking about some crazy stories and wedding hot takes right off the bat. So you said you used to cover, like talking about the wedding industry, crazy things you’ve seen at weddings.
Is there something that comes to mind where you’re like, this was insane, or just a strong take you have on weddings?
Wedding Social Media Habits That Make No Sense
Suzanne Lambert: Oh, so many. This is more broadly, like, culture, and it’s just funny, right? I find it hysterical that people will use any excuse to post their wedding photos.
Like, all of a sudden, people are super passionate about it. Arbor Day. They’re like, in honor of Arbor Day, here’s a wedding photo by a tree. I’m like, just say you want to post your wedding photos, but don’t make up these weird holidays that you’ve never observed before in order to post that.
And I do think, to an extent, there is a limit to how many. Posts you get about your wedding before I’m muting you. I’m sorry, and it’s not because I’m not happy for you, and it’s not because you don’t look beautiful. Still, it’s like you deserve to take other photos of yourself that you love. You deserve to think about other things besides your wedding uh And also, this is another one, the countdown blocks, and apologies in advance to anyone who has done this, where it’s counting down the number of days to your wedding, like it’s Times Square on New Year’s Eve.
Yeah. I find those insane. I’m like, are you good? That just feels crazy to me. Especially because usually you have the apps that’ll tell you. How many days your wedding is in and you’re like, Oh my God, cause it’s so stressful. Right. I’ve been there. But the thought of physically rotating a block every day to let you know how many days there are until your wedding.
It couldn’t be me. It just couldn’t be me.
Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s funny because I got those as a gift, but I don’t think I ever displayed them or used them. And I think I ended up re-gifting them because I was like, and sorry if someone’s listening, that gave it to me. I’m sorry.
Suzanne Lambert: I was like, shit. Did someone give those to me?
I hope not. But I didn’t use them if you did.
Christa Innis: Well, yeah, and the thing, too, I feel like that it’s different is, my husband and I had already lived together for years before we got engaged and married. So, to us, it wasn’t, like, countdown till we move in, countdown till, I don’t know, we were already at that point.
So, it was just, for us, it was just, like, another step,
Suzanne Lambert: I guess. Yeah, it’s goofy to me, and to be clear, who cares what I think? If that makes you happy, do it. I do just when people post the pictures of the countdown of the wedding, I’m just, like Oh, we got to get you something else to think about to like, you can’t, that cannot be your sole focus.
Christa Innis: It can’t consume you. When you were talking about Arbor Day and posting a picture, something that I always think about is when someone posts to celebrate someone else in their life, but they use their wedding photo, dude, that’s the first thing when they’re like, happy birthday to my second cousin once removed.
But it’s them as a bride and then in a family photo and arrow. And I’m like, Oh,
Suzanne Lambert: No, the craziest one I’ve ever seen in my life. This younger girl in my sorority, I don’t think she follows me anymore, so she won’t see this. She posted about her maid of honor, so like her best friend, and they have a million photos to choose from.
She posted about her maid of honor on her maid of honor’s birthday, and the picture she chose. Oops. Was her, the bride, like, facing the camera, you know, beautiful. Her maid of honor crouched down on her hands and knees. You literally couldn’t see her face because she was fixing it.
The bride’s veil. No, and I call those I happy day posts, it’s like you made their birthday about your wedding and it’s hard because I and my best friends are so bad About taking photos legitimately I was with them this past weekend and I said if we don’t get a photo this weekend We have to text our exes and we get to pick which of our exes we have to text That’s how dire it is.
We do not take photos. So I understand sometimes there’s not a lot to choose from but what I did is I picked a solo picture of some of my bridesmaids and my bridesmaid I had bridesmen after my wedding and I posted that because yeah, I was at my wedding, but it was only them looking beautiful like I was nowhere in the photo because it’s a wild thing to do,
Christa Innis: right?
Yeah, you’re like professional photos. You don’t always get your friends. especially it’s like the sabotage photo It’s like when you go out with friends and you pick the ones where they all look bad, but you look really good, Right?
Suzanne Lambert: Come on. And it’s like maybe if you post one from your wedding and one from theirs side by side To me, that seems fine.
But if it’s just a few, that’s just like a wild thing to do. I could not be me. Yeah. It’s like you’re literally looking the most beautiful you’ll ever look in your life. And they’re also there.
Christa Innis: And they’re awesome. Yes. Oh man, I love that. okay. So kind of talking about wedding hot takes, here are just a couple of different prompts.
I want to get your opinion on it. Do you think weddings should have dress codes or should guests be free to wear whatever makes them comfortable?
Wedding Rules No One Talks About But Everyone Argues Over
Suzanne Lambert: Definitely a dress code. I think anywhere you can provide clarity as someone planning a wedding is crucial to a good guest experience. I didn’t go as far as to make a Pinterest board.
That felt like a little much to me. But I wrote down a dress code and then examples of what that would be for the rehearsal. even for our engagement party. We did that because I think otherwise they’re just going to text you and ask you. And it’s going to be really irritating and you’re going to have a million other things.
This is a hot take on top of that. I think black tie optional is a really tricky dress code. I understand that people don’t want to force people to wear a tux or whatever. But then you have girls. Well, do I wear a long dress? Do I wear a short dress? And I’ve been in that situation So I think wherever you can provide clarity it will always lead to a better experience for the guests and for yourself
Christa Innis: Yes, I know.
I’m always like that. person that’s like searching the website, like, what’s the theme? Because as soon as you get to a wedding and you’re like, oh, I didn’t realize it was going to be outdoor. I was going to be in a barn. Do you want to kind of dress the theme? Yes. Yeah. someone that gave too much detail probably, but I was like, I want people to know what to expect.
Suzanne Lambert: No, me too, and I guarantee you people still asked you, didn’t they? Yeah. Yeah, like, what’s the dress code? And you’re like, did you happen to see the FAQs that I painstakingly put together for this very purpose?
Christa Innis: Right, I also am someone that, like, yeah, I don’t come in a white, Fall gown or something to my wedding, but other than that, I’m like, what a weird thing to say.
Yeah, that seems kind of crazy of Hot take. That’s a bridezilla behavior. Right? But I’m like, if someone wanted to wear a bright red dress, I don’t care about that stuff. Like, they could have worn white to my bachelorette party and I would have been like, you look great.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah, it’s okay if your dress code is casual.
Like, that’s completely fine. If that’s your vibe, cool. Do what makes you feel good. But just let people know. Because being overdressed is a bummer. Being underdressed is a bummer. So just when people know what to expect, I think that’s always the best policy. Actually, I’ll let you keep going because I have so many hot takes that are coming to my head, but I’ll love it.
I’ll react to some more of yours. I love,
Christa Innis: I love that. So this is your opinion on cash-only gifts or explicitly asking for money instead of traditional presence, people are so contrary, like not controversial people I’ve noticed. Yeah,
Suzanne Lambert: I have seen no issue with that, If that’s what you want, I want to get you something you want. And honestly, I am not the best gift giver. I’m a gift card girl. Like I love giving people a gift card. I love receiving a gift card. So if you’re telling me all you want is cash, cool. To me, that’s great. I see nothing wrong with that, especially because a lot of people.
They’re trying to buy houses or pay off student loans, in the next lifetime. That would be nice. So I get just asking for money and we have plenty of knickknacks already.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I don’t get why some people get so, why don’t people like it? It’s so weird. Like, whenever I go to a wedding, I only bring cash.
Like I’m not going to bring in a big wrapped gift there, you know, showers are different. But, I was sharing about things like the honey fund or like Zola or not, people can just donate cash gifts or donate to your honeymoon or different things. And people were getting, in the comments, a certain generation, not a group, but they were like, I’m not paying for a honeymoon, and you’re not paying for a honeymoon.
If you gave someone 200 at their wedding, they could use it for Dishes, they could use it for sheets or they could go on a vacation, you know, why
Suzanne Lambert: no, don’t you like the person whose wedding you’re going to like, why wouldn’t you want to contribute towards their honeymoon? That’s so strange.
Christa Innis: I mean, you could buy them, whatever, and they could go return it and get cash for it.
So why does it matter what they end up using it for is my thing. I’m like, yeah.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah, just for the sake of tradition. And you know what, if you want to buy them a little knick-knack like we had a few people buy us things off the registry. I didn’t care. Like, whatever. If you saw something and it made you think of me and you thought I would like it and you brought it to me.
That doesn’t bother me. I’m appreciative to get a gift either way But if you want to get them something physical you always could do that if that really mattered to you for some reason That’s beyond my understanding
Christa Innis: I know I don’t get upset about things like that
Suzanne Lambert: And again, I don’t know who has done this. I don’t even know if you have done this. Um, I think the wedding color code is bananas. When you are putting out Pantone codes on your wedding invitation, so people wear corresponding shades of lavender and blue, what’s happening? What, what’s going on?
I’ve seen people do it where they ask people to wear all black. That makes a little more sense to me. But I still just can’t get behind stripping people of their individuality. So that they are matching the aesthetic of a wedding. Yes. I think that’s crazy.
Christa Innis: I know, I honestly didn’t know that was a thing when I started making this wedding content.
And I would see it, like, come up in my feed or something and I was like, wait, people actually do this? Do they want their photos to look a certain way? I’m like, that’s over the top. Yeah. Like, sorry guys, you can’t wear that bright pink, but you can wear this dim pink that’s a little dusty and a little, I’m like.
No, too much.
Suzanne Lambert: Right, we require people to wear uniforms? And people don’t like how they look in that color. And not everyone’s color season is the same. Not everyone should be wearing a muted cool tone, right? that’s not, do you want people to look good and feel good in your photos?
That’s what was important to me. I let my Full bridal party be like picking your tuxes and picking your dresses. I gave them a few very reasonable parameters but I want you guys to look hot and I want you to feel hot and have fun because I’ve been to weddings where There’s one where I legitimately looked like I was a middle-aged pioneer woman.
It was so And that was the bride’s goal, by the way, like she did not want us to look good. She was kind of open about that, which I guess I can appreciate to a certain extent. But I looked so bad, and it affects your ability to have fun because you just don’t feel cute, Yeah. That was that hot take.
Whenever you mentioned dress codes, I was like, I gotta bring up the color palette.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I like how, You see more and more weddings now allowing individuality between their bridesmaids. I basically had a website and was able to pick any dress from this website. I had a nice family of colors.
always in the same family. but I was like pick a style that’s good for your body type or that you feel more comfortable in. Yeah. Because I’ve seen weddings where they have everyone in the same Superfitted dress and it doesn’t matter what size you are. Sometimes you just don’t want a super fitted dress.
No, I’m not a body
Suzanne Lambert: You will not see me in a bodycon. Like it just isn’t for me Yeah, it’s like you want people to feel good what they’re wearing
Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s uh, my parameters were
Suzanne Lambert: like no super plunging necklines because I had one and then no super high slits also because I didn’t have a super high slit, but I had a slit
and no strapless mostly because it was December and I just didn’t want strapless dresses. like, it was very easy for people to pick something they would actually like.
Christa Innis: Yes. And it’s totally normal to have some guidelines for your wedding party.
Yeah. They are going to be in most of the photos and everything, but to have your guests between some parameters is.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah. It’s bananas. And to me, it sets a negative vibe for the wedding: you’re micromanaging what the guests are going to be wearing. and I’ve never been invited to such a wedding.
My friends would never ever do something like that,
Christa Innis: but
Suzanne Lambert: I feel like it would make me feel like I was on high alert.
Christa Innis: You
Suzanne Lambert: know, unsettled kind of,
Christa Innis: Like, Oh, I’m gonna take my hair down. Wait, am I allowed to wear my hair down? Yeah. Am I, are these earrings okay?
Suzanne Lambert: Like literally, yeah. and it was so funny and you see that creep into even like.
guests, almost like paranoia. So everyone in my wedding wore black. someone came up to me at the wedding. So sweet. They were like, I’m so sorry. I had no idea your bridesmaids were wearing black. I wouldn’t have worn black. I was like, Oh no, no, no, no. It’s so okay. I cannot believe you feel like you have to think about that, but it’s all good.
It’s the most common. I feel like it’s made people a little skittish.
Christa Innis: Oh yeah, for sure. I showed up to a wedding once wearing the exact same colors of bridesmaids and it was like a cranberry Merlot colored dress. I was mortified.I didn’t say anything, but I was like, Oh my gosh.
but it was like a January wedding. So it’s very normal for that time of year. So I was like. No one said anything. Yeah, like you would
Suzanne Lambert: have no way of knowing. I know people are trying to be polite because you see people who do care about the color palette.
But people were texting me asking me, What color the bridesmaids were wearing so that they didn’t accidentally match them, and I’m just like ah Like it doesn’t it matter like I don’t care, but I know Other people do but it just leads to like more annoying messages to have to respond to for the bride You know because there’s been this weird tenseness, I don’t know if that’s a word, created around wedding
Christa Innis: culture these days.
Totally. Yeah. It’s such a spectrum. It’s insane. okay. So this next part is. Pick a side. So the wedding drama debate. So people are sending me their unpopular opinions. So let me know what you think about these. Um, this first one says just because your family is invited doesn’t mean you’re invited.
Suzanne Lambert: Hell yeah.
Completely agree. especially if you are paying for the wedding yourself. Um, I do think if you’re getting financial assistance from your family for your wedding, do think they have some say, um, but it’s like a second cousin, um, Twice removed. I absolutely don’t think that they need to be invited.
And I also think I would rather not get financial assistance from my family and pick who I wanted to be there than invite a bunch of random people who I don’t actually want to be there. And my husband and I did pay for our own wedding. So we were able to choose. Exactly who we wanted to be there and it made the experience so much better.
But yeah, I completely agree with that.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I feel like this is a common thing where if someone wants to pay and there’s strings attached, then it’s just not worth it. We had some assistance from both parents, but we paid for a good portion. And we had some
Suzanne Lambert: to clarify.
I definitely had some and my in-laws paid for the rehearsal dinner and my parents paid for my dress, and again, any contribution they made. Right. Lookout is very generous. So I just did want to clarify that. I guess my mom hears this. She’s like, wait a second. You’re like, hold up. Yeah. Yeah. But go ahead.
Christa Innis: Yeah. No, but I was going to just say like, but because I have a respectful relationship with both my in-laws and my parents, I reached out and I was like, hey, send me your list of who you want. but I see these stories where it’s like they have a terrible relationship with the in-laws and they’re like, well, we’re paying for this.
You need to invite all these people. And it’s like, that’s not how it works.
Suzanne Lambert: No. You need to be
Christa Innis: respectful both ways, I think.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah, it’s tough because if they’re giving you financial assistance, I do think they deserve some say, but that’s just a crappy attitude to have, that you would give someone money with strings attached if it’s someone where not only is there not a relationship, but if, there’s a bad relationship, I think you should prioritize the people you love most in your life.
And I think family is who you make it. So it doesn’t need to be someone related to you by blood. And just because you were invited to theirs. It doesn’t mean it needs to be reciprocal either. So
Christa Innis: 100%. Okay. And this next one says, if I have to travel far for a wedding, I won’t be giving you an expensive gift.
Suzanne Lambert: That’s fine. Yeah. Yeah. I think Don’t go into debt for my wedding. Like please don’t be having debt collectors knocking on your door so that you can come to my wedding and give me a gift. Then you’re also gonna have a grudge against me that I Don’t even know about.
the bride and groom are not keeping a mental tally in their head of, oh, well, they gave me a gift and they didn’t. And if they are, that’s weird. Then they’re buying you for a dollar amount. Yeah, yeah, a hundred percent. And I’ve heard, you should cover your plate, whatever.
I don’t agree with that. Either. I think people should give what they can afford and what they want to give.
Christa Innis: I think there’s totally different levels to it. But, yeah, for my own wedding, anyone that was flying in, I was like, I don’t want them to give me a gift. I don’t expect it because they’re paying for a flight.
They’re paying for a hotel. all on my dad’s side, they all had a fly in, so they’re paying a lot of money. And so I’m like, I don’t expect any extra gift from you guys. No.
Suzanne Lambert: agree. And everyone had to fly for mine too. Well, almost everyone. I think there were like four people who didn’t have to.
And also, for the rehearsal and the welcome party and of course the wedding, we paid for all the food, all the alcohol, transportation. So once people stepped foot into our wedding weekend, they weren’t spending any additional money. And that was really important to us is like, yeah, we’re not trying to put people.
Because I remember being in my early 20s, going to four weddings a year because I’m from Georgia and you get married as soon as you graduate college, essentially. so I remember being in that situation and I was like, we’re not going to do that to people who are coming to our wedding.
That’s also why we had a longer engagement so that we could save longer and provide that experience.
Christa Innis: yeah, definitely. I think someone where before I go to a wedding, I know what I’m going to give. I’ve heard of crazy stories where like, they go and they see what the wedding’s like first and someone literally just told me this story a few months ago, or a friend of theirs at a wedding was like, Based on what they got for appetizer and like the setting, that’s what they gave back.
And I was like, no, that’s so
Suzanne Lambert: funny. They’re like, well, it was French onion soup. If it had been lobster bisque, I would have given you an extra. this doesn’t get that much love from me. That’s such a funny thing.
Christa Innis: It’s so odd what people think about. I’m like, how close am I to this person? And spreadsheet at dinner like, okay, this is
Suzanne Lambert: worth this
Christa Innis: amount.
This is
Suzanne Lambert: That’s wild. Yeah, like
Christa Innis: It’s crazy.See what you can afford if you’re close to the person who does that. I don’t know. Yeah,
Suzanne Lambert: I did not invite a wedding to get gifts and, or I didn’t have a wedding to get gifts and money, right? If I wanted money, I wouldn’t have had a wedding.
I would have just saved the money I spent. Yes.
Christa Innis: I have such a problem when it feels like you are just a number at a wedding. Yeah. And you’re only invited to be there. So like, In my early twenties, I felt like I was such a people pleaser. if I got invited to a wedding, I was like, we have to go or like a bridal shower, but then I was like, I got a little bit older, I was like.
Barely friends with this person. Why would I go to their bridal shower and they told me there for a gift. It was just kind of weird. Yeah. So I was like, no, I’m only gonna go to someone’s that I would want at mine. Or we have a good relationship. Totally. Completely agree. All right, let’s jump into today’s or this week’s crazy story.
Mother-in-Law Never Heard of Boundaries and It Shows
So these are blind reactions. I don’t read them ahead of time. And so we’re just going to react together. So feel free to stop me or interrupt me at any time. I’ll pause too. and we’ll see what happens. Perfect. Okay. My fiance and I got engaged in April and have been so excited about planning our wedding for next September. Before we even got engaged, his mother had been supportive, often teasing my fiance about proposing because his grandmother said it on her deathbed.
Love, love, love that
Suzanne Lambert: ally in grandma. She’s like, I got you girl. Yeah, she’s like, one last thing. Yeah. Iconic.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Anyways, she was very excited in general. So when we did get engaged, we called her from Ireland to tell her that he had proposed. In the same breath as saying congratulations, she couldn’t even finish her sentence before asking, can I go dress shopping with you?
I only have two sons. Okay. At the same time, I thought it was innocent excitement coming through. Looking back, I should have known where it might lead. Even when we were leaving that trip engaged for only two days, we told her that we had tentatively picked a city. We actually had already chosen the venue, but we didn’t want to share it yet due to her tendency to voice strong opinions.
Uh Huh, , . Yeah. So they kind of knew it was coming. Sure. She immediately started complaining to family members about the location. We chose, oh, here we go. Months passed. And by June, Father’s Day weekend, we had both sides of the family over. My parents, his grandpa, his mother. His aunt from his mom’s side during dinner.
His mom starts asking me for the address to the venue. I asked why? First of all,
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah, Google Maps exists. If she already knew the venue at this point,
Christa Innis: right? just look, I feel like it’s just to make a. Point being like,
Suzanne Lambert: tell me that she drags. My family, Irish Catholic, like it’s, passive aggression is our second language.
That’s exactly what she’s Same here. She wants to say something, but she’s not gonna say it, so she’s gonna ask you a weird question that she could easily, like, look up the
Christa Innis: information herself. Yes. Oh my gosh, the passive regression. Yes. Um, I asked why because I’d already sent the information when we finalized the venue.
Right. There we go. She said she deleted her texts and didn’t have it anymore. Who deletes
Suzanne Lambert: their texts? Like First of all, not, not a mother of that specific age group. They’re not deleting their texts. Second of all, you remember where it is? Like, are you in the CIA? Why are you deleting all your messages?
Not sketchy. Weird. That alone is, yeah.
Christa Innis: Yeah. She wanted to visit the venue. I explained it’s a private property, not open for tours, and even my fiance and I hadn’t seen it in person yet. Instead of understanding, she doubled down. Just send me the address. It’s fine.
Suzanne Lambert: No, it’s actually not. It’s not fine, actually.
Christa Innis: I don’t get the, like, aggressive, like, she went from passive to, like, now she’s aggressive. I don’t get that aggressive, like, I’m telling you what’s happening here.
Suzanne Lambert: Right. Like, whose wedding is this? And all that that’s going to do for most rational people, it just makes me not want to give you what you want, even if I would have been inclined to do it before.
Now I’m definitely not going to like it. I’ll actively go out of my way to make sure you never get that. I’d like to censor it from all of your maps apps. Like that’s how petty I am
Christa Innis: Yeah, the day of the wedding you’ll have a car just pick you up and you’ll be black
Suzanne Lambert: Like actually though. Oh, wow. I cannot. I’m so excited to see where this goes.
Christa Innis: It’s insane. Um instead of uh, I lost my place. Okay. Um, okay. She um Yeah. So she kept pressing until the entire room was visibly uncomfortable. When I said no, she started making excuses like, well, how am I supposed to know where to book hotels? We were 15 months out from the wedding, and I had already planned to arrange a room block closer to the date.
I assured her everything was nearby, but she continued to repeat, just send me the address. I’ll drive by. Okay. Fiance
Suzanne Lambert: needs to intervene. I’ll say that. Yeah. Where, like, where is he? Step in. Yeah. Where’s he at in the mix? He needs to step in and be like, hey mom, you’re doing that thing again. Knock it off.
Christa Innis: It’s the, it’s time. I know you’re a boy mom. Like, let’s. Right. And at
Suzanne Lambert: first I thought I was on the mom’s side because she asked if she could go dress shopping. I only have two sons. I’m like a girl. I want a daughter so bad. If, and when we have kids. So like. I understand that being top of mind, and I’m like, okay, yeah, I get it.
But this is not going the way that I thought it was gonna go.
Christa Innis: Yeah, it turned so quickly.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Um, each time I said no, she came back with, I might go in, or I’ll just pop by. She then pivoted to my bachelorette party, nudging my mom and saying, Aren’t you so happy we’re going on our bachelorette? Oh, no. We? We
Suzanne Lambert: speak French now?
Why, who’s we? No, that’s not. What world is she living in? And do you know, like the kind of things you talk about at bachelorette parties and like often the activities and like paraphernalia that you’re wearing? Like I went to one, my best friend married my brother and like, you know, it’s bad enough sometimes kind of hearing about, you know, your brother and his.
And now wife’s, you know, sex life, like those are the things you talk about at bachelorette parties. Do you want to be hearing that about your son? It concerns me that you might. From what I’m hearing, I
Christa Innis: Maybe. I feel like some mothers like this don’t care and they like to be involved in that. But like this is even the weirdest story.
Like I’ve heard so many where you’re just like, Boundaries. Like Are you into your son? Like that’s, that’s what I’m getting.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, Yeah, it’s so, I don’t know, it’s, it’s so weird. Um, at, I was confused and said, oh no. At this point, I was so uncomfortable from the conversation earlier that I firmly told him it wasn’t happening.
Oh no, that’s
Suzanne Lambert: So funny. Oh no. Oh no. That’s hilarious. That’s the best thing she could have said at that moment. I’m really proud of her. Yeah.
Christa Innis: She brushed it off by saying, It’s fine, we’ll do our own thing. My mom, knowing my plans to take a trip with friends, fully supported me. Like, what? Yeah, you’ll do
Suzanne Lambert: your own thing called, You’re not coming, babe.
Yeah. You’ll do your own thing called, You’re gonna go to Bridge and Bunko and hang out at your house like you would’ve been doing cause you’re not a part of this. Yeah. What? What’s happening?
Christa Innis: Oh my god, Bunko, I’ve not heard that name, that word, in so long.
Suzanne Lambert: That came out of the far archives of my brain.
Never have I once played a game of Bunko, but I feel like that’s still very much in the scene.
Christa Innis: Yeah. The day dragged on with her pushing topics like the China set from her deceased aunt and other things. That’s the whole story. Okay, I’ll
Suzanne Lambert: hear more about China. I’m like, I’m listening. What’s going on with that?
I’ll take some antique China. I’m not mad at the hat to be clear.
Christa Innis: Um, at one point, she had a bit to drink. She cornered me in the kitchen, completely unaware of how annoyed I was. She said, Is this my
Suzanne Lambert: ex boyfriend’s mom? Cause I actually was thinking, I wonder if she’s drinking. Um, and then when you said that, I’m like, Who wrote this?
Is this
Christa Innis: my ex’s
Suzanne Lambert: mother? Oh no. It all sounds very familiar. Well, I’m glad it’s an ex. You and I, you and I both.
I think my lucky stars every day, trust me,
Christa Innis: Oh God, I’m dead. Okay. Um, so she called me in the kitchen and she said, aren’t you just so happy I’m going to be your mother in law and not insert difficult family members here. So she’s blocking the name out. I looked her in the eyes and said, um, I don’t know if this is the person’s real name, so
I’m trying to think of, like, a crazy name. Um, Barb. Barb, I’m okay right now. But if you keep pestering me about things, I’m going to the venue. I’m not going to be okay. I added, this is my boundary. She didn’t seem to register at the time. But, oh, did she later.
Suzanne Lambert: Okay, Therapy. I love that. Yeah, we love boundaries.
I would love it if the fiancé was setting some. Um, and I’m annoyed on her behalf that she’s having to do it all herself. But I’m very proud of her for saying that. That’s not easy to say. Bye bye. Yeah.
Christa Innis: Especially when you’re being cornered because it sounds like she’s alone with this mother. Like why is no one around?
And that’s what they
Suzanne Lambert: do. I feel like people like this, like they want to get you alone at your most vulnerable, where you don’t have a chance to really, really think things through. So that’s impressive thinking on your feet.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. I would be shaking in my boots. I’d be like, is this actually happening right now?
I’m that person that in a scenario, I’m like, Why is this happening? And then like a minute later, I’m like, why didn’t I say that? I should have said that. Or as I’m saying it, I’m like, you know what? And boundaries that I’m like, shaking. And I’m like, that’s okay. I’m like,
Suzanne Lambert: Ooh, maybe we shouldn’t have gone that hard.
Maybe we take a deep breath. My yoga instructors, like generator response, feel powerful choosing. And I’m like, generator response, you feel powerful choosing when I like to spout off. So we all, we all have our struggles. Yeah. I probably would have been like, Yeah, I don’t know, crazy family members sounding pretty good right about now, and like, it would have started a whole thing, so.
Christa Innis: Yeah, um, my, okay. My fiancé and I discussed how upset we were with the day, okay, so now, now he’s around, um, and how comfortable she had made things. He was very supportive and felt the same way. Two days later, can you hear that when my earphones buzz?
Suzanne Lambert: No, uh, I only could when you did that, and it did cut out for like just a second, but we’re back, it looks like.
Oh,
Christa Innis: weird. Maybe it’s my headphones just dying. Okay. Anywho. Um, he was very supportive and felt the same way two days later, he called her to address it, telling her that her behavior was unfair and made everyone uncomfortable. She exploded saying, is this why I’m going to change her name again? Is this why Kelly doesn’t like me?
And hung up. She then gave us science by right. Like, yeah, the girl that wrote the story. Yeah. Okay. Like, huh? What, what gave it away? Like, are you
Suzanne Lambert: acting? Like, so there’s a level of awareness. Like, it’s so funny because my mother in law’s like this. they get there, right? They get, oh, Kelly doesn’t like me, but they don’t see any of the lead up to anything they could have done.
They look at it as a spontaneous event.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert: It’s like, oh, all of a sudden, and all of a sudden she didn’t like me. And it’s like, are you forgetting the a hundred things you did before she reacted the one time
Christa Innis: or, or the time that they finally like to snap back. It’s they’re so mean. I don’t do anything wrong.
And it’s like, that was like the story I read yesterday. I’m like, Oh my god, this victim mentality of like, why would she say that to me? I’m just your mom. I just care so much. It’s like, no, that was not the full story. No,
Suzanne Lambert: because if you cared, you, you would be like, oh my god, I hurt your feelings. I’m so sorry about that.
Like that’s a normal way to do it. Can you imagine if someone called you and was like, Hey, at our engagement party, you made us feel bad and sad and whatever, like you would be horrified because you’re a normal person. Imagine like. Like, that’s why they don’t like me?
Christa Innis: Oh my god. Like, what?
Suzanne Lambert: I don’t understand.
And, like, if she had been like, oh, that’s why she doesn’t like me, that would be like such a different thing. Like, oh, okay. I didn’t realize how annoying I was being noted. You know? Won’t do it again. Yeah. Like, sometimes you need a little kick in the ass to be like, oh, I’m acting weird. Yeah. But that’s wild.
And then to hang up, I don’t believe in hanging up the phone, especially on your own son. Right. Right.
Christa Innis: Like, yeah. Um, oh, this is, hold on tight. This is a, this is a long one. I love this. Sorry, Nellie, but I’m living for this. This is crazy. Okay. She then gave us a silent treatment for three weeks. I bet it was a really nice three weeks.
Suzanne Lambert: That sounds lovely. That sounds like a vacation. Yeah. Silent treatment. That sounds ideal. She should do that more often and with others in her life. I would, I would imagine. That is beautiful.
Christa Innis: Best case scenario. I feel like in these scenarios, just keep it going, please. She even ignored my fiance’s birthday, which is two weeks after the incident.
Normally they talk every other day. So this was very shocking until then we had no issues. And I thought our relationship was fine. Her behavior was hurtful, especially to my fiance. Thankfully his aunt who witnessed everything supported us agreeing that his mom’s actions were out of line.
Suzanne Lambert: We had a wonder if the aunt is on the dad’s side or the mom’s side, cause that also kind of changes things a little bit.
It’s her sister. Hopefully the aunt is going to be like, You’re being nuts. If it’s the dad’s sister, she’s like, Oh, I’ve seen this from the beginning. One of us wanted him to end up with her. Like, we all wanted him to end up with the other girl, you know, like, that dynamic is interesting, too.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I know. Like earlier at the party, I think she said it was her. I think she said the mom’s sister or the mom’s side.
Suzanne Lambert: That’s like worse, honestly. Yeah. You know? Like, your own sister being like, yeah, but again, I hope that that, I hope the aunt is going to the mom. Like, if I saw my sister acting that way, or if they saw me acting that way, they would be the first to be like, hey, cut it out.
Christa Innis: Exactly. I’m going to take these off saying they’re dying already.
We had a 4th of July weekend. Okay. We had a 4th of July weekend planned at his family’s lake house, and she was supposed to join us.
She didn’t show up until the weekend was nearly over. When she arrived, there was no warm embrace, no belated birthday wishes for her son, just coldness. It’s like, why even come? It was incredible. Yeah. Awkward.
Suzanne Lambert: Cause she wants to have her Real Housewives moment. She thinks she’s on like Real Housewives of Orange County, like with a dramatic show up.
Girl, no one was worried. Yeah. No one was worried. They were like praying you didn’t come. Yeah, like, again, like, the silent treatment, the weekend without you, where we’re just like, chillin eating hot dogs, like, waving flags, like, it was all going really, the vibes were high, like, yes.
Christa Innis: Yeah, she likes, yeah, she wanted to come in with the sad music, everyone’s like, oh no, what’s, what’s wrong with Barb over there?
A fur coat.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah, like, mope dramatically around the house. Puffin and puffin Like, what we would do when we were sleeping. Seven and like our parents made chicken for dinner and we didn’t want chicken like that. She wanted spaghetti. She didn’t want chicken. So now she’s making it everyone’s problem.
Yeah.
Christa Innis: Oh my god. So true my fiance I decided we needed to address this. He pulled her aside in the pantry while I stayed around the corner I love, like, the sour cream and onion chips
Suzanne Lambert: listening in,
Christa Innis: you know? That seemed like the best
Suzanne Lambert: spot.
Christa Innis: Funny
Suzanne Lambert: setting for this conversation. I love that she added that in.
Christa Innis: Yeah, the pantry,
Suzanne Lambert: It really sets the scene. It’s like, this is dire. This is a dire situation.
Christa Innis: That was the quickest spot. He started by saying we wanted to resolve things, but she exploded again. She accused us of keeping the wedding a secret because we wouldn’t share the venue address. A narrative she created.
She claimed I had promised to send it to her and didn’t, saying she didn’t do shit. At that point, I stepped in the conversation and said, Well, it’s my turn to enter now! She is like, What?
Suzanne Lambert: Wait, the bride said that? The bride. She’s like, well, it’s my turn to enter now. Step through, step in, push those bagels aside, tell her how you feel, you know,
Christa Innis: I love this.
This isn’t like, I’m, we were just talking about how so many of these stories, like I feel like the bride is a people pleaser and just like, you know, tells a story and I feel so heartbroken for her. Yeah. This is like the first where I’m like, oh my gosh, yeah, she’s coming, she’s
Suzanne Lambert: ready to go. And it’s like the behavior you allow is the behavior that will continue.
And if I had to guess, cause I’ve seen this. a million times. The vibe growing up was like a super passive aggressive where the son probably just learned it was easier to just, you know, not react and let it go and ignore it. But like, it comes to a head in adulthood and especially during weddings. So I’m glad that she’s telling her.
What’s what?
Christa Innis: Yeah,
Suzanne Lambert: they’re
Christa Innis: very proud. Yeah, this is a big moment. Um, she stormed toward me, got inches from my face. How big is this pantry?
Suzanne Lambert: I’m like
Christa Innis: thinking
Suzanne Lambert: this like, I’m still, I’m like thinking about the pantry. I’m like, wow. Pantry envy. There’s like three people in there at this point. Storming.
I’m like, dang. Whose house was this? A rental? Like, I want to, I want to come check out this, this dramatic pantry. Yes.
Christa Innis: Um, she pointed a finger at me and screamed, how dare you talk to me that way? How dare you mention boundaries and make me out to be some kind of villain? Well, you said it. Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert: I mean, if you’re feeling it, I’ve been boundaries.
That’s She’s like, no, no, no, no, we don’t do those in my family. We don’t talk about that. You’re gonna learn.
Christa Innis: Yeah. You do what I say in this family. Yeah,
Suzanne Lambert: like, clearly, like, the very, like, the power dynamic between, like, parent and child is very important to her. Because when you’re saying things like that, you feel like she should be Obeying.
Christa Innis: Yes. Oh, yeah. I calmly asked, Are you really going to approach the conversation like this? She responded. Yep. I’m so mad. You have no idea what this has done to me. Oh, my God. Here we go. Okay. She said she would never have spoken to her future mother in law that way, in the way that I spoke to her. She claimed we were leaving her out of the wedding, which wasn’t true, and insisted that she was just teasing me.
Suzanne Lambert: What? Oh, they love to say things like that. Oh, it’s just a joke. Well, it wasn’t funny.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert: So what kind of money
Christa Innis: Just giving it to me is teasing her. And like, no, it no, it wasn’t. That’s not what teasing is. It’s only teasing until like You’re told like, that’s not okay, and then it’s like, oh, or no, it’s only, it’s not teasing until you’re told it’s not okay, and then you’re like, oh no, it was just a joke.
And if it
Suzanne Lambert: was just, and if it actually truly were just a joke, and someone’s like, like, I’ll, I’ll make jokes, you know, cause I, I like to kind of test the limits with the people around me and see how jokes will play out. I made a joke the other day, my husband did not appreciate it, and he was like, That’s not funny.
I’ll actually say it really quick. It was kind of funny. I was like, yeah, you know, I always said I was just gonna marry for money and I married for love. Like that was, that was dumb, right? Like laughing. And he’s like, yeah, sorry, you didn’t marry for money. And I was like, well, it’s not too late. And he was like, don’t do that.
And I was like, okay, okay, fair. Like, sorry. You’re right. Noted. Writing that one down. So if you actually are joking and someone doesn’t like it, it won’t offend you to say sorry, wasn’t a good joke, we’ll table that one for never, you know.
Christa Innis: Right, you don’t keep pushing and keep going and When it clearly was not a joke.
I don’t know why it keeps doing that to my face. I like
Suzanne Lambert: It’s dramatic. I know, it’s like,
Christa Innis: whoa!
Suzanne Lambert: To see like the clothes. I love it, I’m imagining cameras in the pantry. Like, I, it’s spitting. It’s a whole
Christa Innis: dramatic scene. Like, I’ve started kind of picturing these as like SNL skits sometimes. Like little sketches, you know?
And I’m like, oh my god, all the people in the pantry. Yeah. What if like the father in law comes
Suzanne Lambert: in? I’d be listening outside because I’m toxic. Like I would fully be like, I’d be like, Can I just get the hot dog buns? Like, I don’t, not trying to like cause a thing. You need everything in that pantry. You guys have all the food in there.
Like, we’re starving. There. Yes. Go in the garage.
Christa Innis: I’m so dramatic. I would do the same thing. I would probably be like, literally all the food’s in there. I’m starving. I will die if I don’t go into that pantry right now. And
Suzanne Lambert: I’d stay in and just like, like, watch what’s going on. You guys need a ref? Yes. I’m here.
Yeah.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. When I explained she made me uncomfortable, and that’s why I mentioned boundaries, she was appalled. She acted like I cussed her out, completely missing the point. The conversation dissolved. Devolved in her screaming while my fiance and I stood there stunned. Oh my gosh.
Suzanne Lambert: Ow.
Christa Innis: The next morning she returned to the cabin.
I knew I had to confront her because I felt so unsettled. I pulled her aside with my fiance present and said, the way you spoke to me was unfair, disrespectful, and beyond damaging. Um, you said, how dare you talk to your mother in law like that? And I say, Or maybe she said, and I say, how dare you speak to me that way?
How dare you
Suzanne Lambert: talk to your daughter in law like that?
Christa Innis: Right. You know? It’s like, it’s that older thing where they think like, you respect me no matter what. You owe them something. No. And it’s like,
Suzanne Lambert: no dude, that’s not how this is gonna go.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert: At all. That might have been how it was with my husband and you as his mom, but that’s not the kind of behavior that I tolerate, nor, nor should she.
Christa Innis: Yeah, yeah. It’s like, you didn’t raise me. I’m not your daughter.
Suzanne Lambert: God, therapy eludes these people, I swear. It’s like, just go to a therapist, lady. Like, you have some problems.
Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s always the people who need it. Yeah. People like that, like, never see that they’re the problem. Yeah, which seems
Suzanne Lambert: awesome. It seems like an awesome way to live.
Imagine never thinking you’re the problem and everyone else is. Mm hmm. Instead of, like, lying awake at night thinking about something I said to someone, like, over the weekend that was, like, harmless, but, you know, like, they’re, they’re just thinking everyone else is wrong and they’re right. Like, it seemed, I’m, I’m jealous.
I wish I didn’t have a conscience. It seems fantastic. It seems really easy, you know? Oh yeah, it must be really nice. Yeah. Teach us. Have her on next. Teach us how to have no conscience. You seem like you have a really easy life. Just not care about it.
Christa Innis: I will literally, like, look at someone the wrong way or say hi the wrong way and I’m like, Do they think I hate them?
Yeah. No, for
Suzanne Lambert: sure. Like, Or people will say things like, Oh, when I met you, I thought you were, you know, one way. And I’m like, oh crap. Like, is that the vibe I’m putting out? You know, like, I hate to think about, like, actually genuinely hurting people if, like, they’ve done nothing wrong, you know? Like, it’s Right.
It’s crazy.
Christa Innis: Yes. Uh, for two She says, For two years, I’ve dedicated my time and energy to your son and your family, and you have no right to treat me like this. I started crying as I spoke, and my fiancé stepped in to back me up. She tried to apologize and hug me. I’d be like, don’t touch me, but I was overwhelmed.
I could barely respond. Eventually she left saying, I’m happy. We talked,
I would be, I’d be more mad at
Suzanne Lambert: that. I think. Oh, that’s icky. Like, I’m not a therapist, thankfully. That would be bad, but like, that, it’s like, you wanna, she wanted to break her down until she was at her lowest possible point. So in a way, she, the mother in law, like, got what she wanted. Is that the end of
Christa Innis: the story?
Um, there’s one more little paragraph.
Suzanne Lambert: Okay. Hold on. Pause on that. Like, that That’s wild and honestly, it makes me also feel sad for her fiance like what he went through growing up? If that was the kind of dynamic it’s like, oh, you’re only cool with me if I’m like unhappy, you know, like
Christa Innis: That’s why it’s such a weird mentality to me because like, you know, we were talking about like, you know, she’s like a boy mom.
So like, wouldn’t you be excited? Like, oh, I have a future daughter in law like we can do like girly stuff or whatever.
Suzanne Lambert: Yes.
Christa Innis: And so like, why is there like a competition or like rivalry? I don’t understand if you have boys or girls. I have a girl.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah. Okay. So yeah, so you can’t even like relate to the boy mom mentality, but I’ve always said like, I want a daughter, and I, I can’t have a gender reveal, well one, I just wouldn’t for personal reasons, but like, I couldn’t because if it weren’t a girl, like I know I would be like so sad, cause I love, I want a daughter so bad, and I love boys too, like I’ll be happy with either, whatever.
Yeah. But like, Especially if you’ve always wanted a girl, which it sounds like the mom did given that she was so excited to go wedding dress shopping. Wouldn’t you be like, Oh my God, I have to make this girl be obsessed with me. Yeah. I have to make her love me. Like my mother in law is, and she has one girl, but she has two boys, but she’s such a girl’s girl.
And she’s always like doing sweet things and being thoughtful. And like, she was amazing during the wedding process. And this girl deserves that. And I hate that she’s, like, clouded what’s supposed to be happy times with her wild, untheorized behavior.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I know. Same here. Like, my mother in law has an amazing style.
Like, she has better style than me. And she’ll be like, here, this is what I got, like, It’s like another girlfriend. Like, she’s so awesome. Totally. I need to
Suzanne Lambert: text mine back, speaking of crap. Gabby, if you hear this, I’ll text you back. I’m sorry. Um, yeah. No, I, I completely agree. God, and if I was this girl’s mother, I don’t know if this is, like, things on the fiancé’s side, but if I heard another grown ass woman talking to my daughter this way, I’d be like, listen, mother in law versus mother in law, like, this is wild.
Yeah, like, what’s, what’s the goal here? And what’s, and like, I don’t know, she hasn’t, she actually weirdly, maybe not weirdly, she hasn’t mentioned her future father in law. So I don’t know if there is a future father in law, or if he’s just so used to the behavior that he’s just defeated and doesn’t say anything.
But I’m like, surely this woman has someone in her life. That’s
Christa Innis: when you’re going
Suzanne Lambert: to stop acting this way.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I wonder if she’s like a widower or something, and so she’s like, Oh, my sons are all I have. Right. You know, that would make it even more intensified. Yeah. Cause I feel like guilt on the sons, but you need to take care of me.
But dang, I wish we could ask her, like, give us
Suzanne Lambert: more. But, uh, yeah, I feel like maybe she would have mentioned that if she were, but that’s, um, wow. That’s it. What a, I mean, I feel like
Christa Innis: With also this kind of strong personality, I feel like also the other option is that, like you said, the father in law is just exhausted.
He’s like, I don’t even fight with her anymore. We’ve been married for 30 years. I just sit in the back, you know, my recliner, which stocks,
Suzanne Lambert: It’s like, you can’t just give up, you know, just because you’re used to it. Other people aren’t used to it. This better
Unfiltered Takes
Christa Innis: end well, or I’m gonna be upset. Alright, let’s see.
It’s been almost two months since this incident. I’ve made an appointment to go dress shopping with my mom, my fiancé’s aunt, Okay, so it was like the sister, I think. Okay. Oh, and his mom. All present on that original incident deck in a few weeks. Okay, so she wrote this before this dress shopping thing happened.
So there might be another thing. I texted them and while everyone else was enthusiastic, her response was noticeably less so. It has been a nightmare, but I hope this story entertained someone. It definitely did. And then she said, part two coming soon questions. Yes! So I’m gonna have to reach out to her. I want to come
Suzanne Lambert: back for part two.
Oh my god, we should do that. Um, I am inviting myself. Wait, I want her, I want her to beat her at her future mother in law’s own game and try on the most outrageous, like, showiest, skankiest dresses that exist. Even if that’s not her style. And be, like, dead ass serious. Like, essentially, like, try on lingerie.
And be like, yeah, I love this one. Cause you know this mother in law will hate that. I also do not support her going. Um, I think that’s a bad idea. I actually went solo quite a few times before I went with anyone else because I had no idea what I liked and what I wanted.
Christa Innis: Um,
Suzanne Lambert: and I, and I liked doing it that way, but, um, I hope her mother in law is not the type to like body shame.
I mean, it definitely sounds like she is. Yeah. Um, Oh, I don’t want her to be invited, but I hope if she does go that she has a little fun with it and she just tries on really ugly, crazy tacky dresses.
Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s like my thought is like, she’s like, okay, let’s just move forward now, but it just sounds like the mother in law never actually apologized.
And so I feel like she should lose privileges to like come to things then because yeah, you’d want to be comfortable like you’re trying on your wedding, future wedding dress possibly. So right.
Suzanne Lambert: And she needs a mean friend to go with her. I’ll go with her. She needs someone who will be like, If you say one more thing like that, Judy, you’re like, you’re out or like, honestly, she should even like Warren, the bridal stylist and the people who work at the salon, like my mother in law’s crazy, please intervene where necessary, but she needs someone who’s going to vouch.
Yeah. For her.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Because it can’t be an engagement party or whatever, the cookout was like part two where the mother in law is saying stuff to her and everyone’s just watching. And
Suzanne Lambert: phones need to be forbidden because her mother in law absolutely sounds like the type to take a picture of the dress and post it on Facebook.
Yes. Like she will. And I’ve heard of them doing that. I’ve heard of mothers doing that.
Christa Innis: Yes. I literally just saw a story, um, actually Cassie, who, who was on like a few weeks ago, she, um, shared a story about an aunt doing that. She was shopping for dresses. Yes. Posted a picture, didn’t see anything wrong with it, and like, fought hard, and they were like, you can’t do that.
Like, you’re not involved in any other wedding stuff now. She needs to take her
Suzanne Lambert: phone and just like, throw it in the street. Like, cause that, she will do that, and she will also definitely verbally describe it to people, I’m sure. Oh yeah. Which you may or may not, I mean, verbalizing it is one thing, seeing it’s another, but.
Oh, I don’t like
Christa Innis: that. Yeah, I’m gonna have to follow up with her and then we’ll, it would be kind of cool if she’d want to come on and chat. Yes! People are like, they don’t want to see their, like, Heather face, but if I can figure out a way to like, we’ll have her
Suzanne Lambert: camera off. One of those things in like, the mystery shows where their like, back is facing and they’re backlit.
It’s like a deep voice or something. It’s like SVU. So not SVU, but like criminal mind or whatever. Yeah, it’s so funny. Yeah, a voice garbler. Oh my god She does it does sound like my who could have been my future mother in law. So I I know this type of woman all too well And it does not get better, unfortunately, uh, Yeah.
You just learn how to deal with it. And for the long haul, I guess.
Christa Innis: Yeah. But you gotta
Suzanne Lambert: beat them at their own game. So I think she should just try on a lot of really ugly dresses. And then, and then guess what? If she doesn’t find her dress at this, which I honestly hope she doesn’t, She did the thing. She checked the box.
She brought her mother in law with her. She can just go with her mom and the people of her choosing.
Christa Innis: Yeah. To the
Suzanne Lambert: next appointment. I mean, I had like, I don’t know about you. I think I was on my seventh visit to a bridal salon before I finally found one. Like, I didn’t try it on and find it immediately.
So I’m hoping that’s the case for her.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I honestly wish, like, looking back that I spent more time. I think I was just, I’m like such a Box checker like and I like it. But I did a lot of research online first. So I knew the exact style of Nice, and then I had like one day where I just bought like I brought my maid of honor one bridesmaid. My mom and my mother in law are very short and sweet.
I think I tried on like six dresses and I found it Oh, that’s awesome. Oh, that’s amazing. Yeah, I
Suzanne Lambert: don’t like wasting time. I’m just like let’s do it But I, efficient efficiency. Yeah. Like I, I, I liked my dress by the, I didn’t, I wasn’t like, I love it, but I liked it enough. I liked it enough, if that makes sense.
Like, I didn’t think I was gonna have the teary moment, like I just, me personally, I just wouldn’t have that over a wedding dress. And I think it’s amazing that other people do, and I have it over other people’s. Mm-hmm . But everyone else was crying, including my cousin Liz, who doesn’t cry. unless she’s like laughing at something and I was like, okay, if Liz is crying, this is like straight up.
So I hope that she will. She needs to have a force field around her to, like, protect her joy, um, and not let her mother in law say anything. And honestly, if her mother in law starts critiquing her, be like, oh, is this what we’re doing? You go try on some dresses and I’ll critique you next. Yeah. Surprise, mother in law.
Yeah. We can
Christa Innis: both do this. Oh my gosh, I love that. Okay, well that was a crazy story. Um, The way I like to end these, um, episodes is our weekly confessions game. So a couple people send me their confessions on Instagram, and I know we’re kind of going a little over time, so. That’s okay. We can move quickly.
Yeah, sorry, I’m a, I’m a gabber. No, I love it. This has been so much fun. I’ve been loving it. Um, so these are people, Instagram. Um, and so, let’s react to them. Okay. First one says, my mom, oh gosh, my mom called my husband, my ex fiancé’s name, on our wedding day.
Suzanne Lambert: Oh no! Did the husband hear? Like he knew it happened?
Um, I assume he must have. I’m trying to think of anything in my head. I’m like, maybe he didn’t know. Oh yikes.
Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s, that’s rough, especially on the wedding day.
Suzanne Lambert: And things just happen like that, and it doesn’t mean anything, you know? I actually, if it makes her feel any better, not gonna say who, a close friend on her wedding day referred to her now husband as her ex husband’s name.
Christa Innis: Oh no. And she
Suzanne Lambert: was like, oh my god, don’t tell ex I said that. And I was like, no, of course, but like, it doesn’t, it doesn’t mean anything. Like, it just happens sometimes.
Christa Innis: Yeah,
Suzanne Lambert: you’re like in the moment,
Christa Innis: and
Suzanne Lambert: it’s not like a friend saying,
Christa Innis: yeah, it’s not like Ross saying Rachel’s name at the end of the aisle.
Suzanne Lambert: That would be a very different thing,
Christa Innis: yes.
Suzanne Lambert: Yeah. Sometimes it just happens. And also, like, our parents can never remember anyone’s name. My dad has known all of my friends for, like, over a decade, and he has no idea who anyone is. Don’t put too much stock into it. I don’t know. I’m trying to rationalize it.
Christa Innis: And it’s, like, the ongoing joke with me and my friends, too, where, like, our dads have known all of us, like, for so long, and it’s, like, just, like, a dad thing, I feel. And he’ll
Suzanne Lambert: be, like, no, I’ve never met that person. He’ll look at me, like, I’m crazy. He’s, like, I’ve never met them. I’m, like, dad. Like, you’ve, they’ve actually told you, like, secrets.
And like confided in you. You’ve given them advice that they still talk about. You most certainly know them. He’s just really playing good at the game of like, Oh, I kept that secret really well. Minding his business. Yeah, right. He’s like, well, I don’t, I don’t know anything about that. I’m a
Christa Innis: Scorpio. I keep secrets.
Oh my gosh. Okay. This next one says, my brother’s ex forced her way into my wedding party and now she’s in all of the photos. Her brother’s ex? My brother’s ex-fiance. Oh, yeah, my brother’s ex.
Suzanne Lambert: Oh, well That’s why you gotta put them at the end of the picture, so you can crop them out very easily if needed.
Christa Innis: Well, and I have a lot of questions, like, how does someone get, how does someone force their way into a wedding? That’s not a
Suzanne Lambert: thing. That’s when you say no.
Christa Innis: It’s like, it’s like that person that just automatically is like, can’t wait for the bachelorette party, like this mother in law. But it’s like, oh, when am I coming to the bachelorette party?
What dresses are we getting? And then you’re afraid to say no. Right. Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert: Like, I didn’t have my sister’s in law in my wedding party because I’m closer with people than I am with them, but they also didn’t think anything of it, right? Like, just because we’re related doesn’t mean you have to be included, um, so, yeah, there’s, there’s no such thing as forcing her way in.
Unfortunately, you did kind of. Let her do that. Yeah, I know it’s hard, but that’s awkward. Yeah when they’re in the photo Then you’re just like well get someone on. Hey, there’s someone on reddit who can photoshop them out. Like I Just go go find a good photoshopper
Christa Innis: Yeah, definitely Um, okay This last one says I cut off my sister for trash talking about myself and my husband to one of my children . Good.
Yeah. Yeah. That’s a bold move on the, um, sister for talking trash to your child. That’s weird. And I love
Suzanne Lambert: that the kid told you. Loyal. I’d be like, yes, you’re my kind of kid. Yes. Keep that up. And I wonder what, I wonder what she said. I know. That, and kids repeat everything they hear. Yeah. Really think they’re not gonna tell her that you were talking about her?
Like, they repeat everything. Even when we don’t think they’re listening. Right. And it’d be weird to
Christa Innis: Be like, don’t tell your mom this. Like, well, right. That, I, yeah. That would be Like, that’s a whole new
Suzanne Lambert: level of, like, creepy and weird. Like, we don’t do that. That’s a, yeah. That’s like a new definition of red flag.
Like, if 100%. Yeah. Oh, good. I’m, I’m happy she cut her off. That’s Good for you. That’s awesome. Wild. Yeah, I’m feeling really fortunate for the family. I have right now, to be honest, like yeah, it could be worse. It could be worse.
Christa Innis: I just say like people like there’s some people when I first started saying like different stories, they were like, Oh, you’re spreading toxicity and I’m like, but then I would get messages and they’re like, no, you’ve allowed me to like have boundaries or you allow me to see like great relationships.
I do have. And I was like, Honestly, like, it does the same thing. Like, I’m like, It makes you really look at your, like, relationships you do have and you’re like, Okay, I have good people in my life. Or, like, here’s how to communicate when something’s not right. Or, like, It makes you see what not to do.
Suzanne Lambert: It’s not promoting toxicity.
Like, also, like, toxic positivity is very much a thing. Trust me, when I started doing stand up comedy, I would make silly, harmless jokes about wedding culture. People were mad, like, people get very sensitive around the wedding topic, and I’m like, dude, you have to be able to laugh at yourself, and also, what you’re doing helps other people see, oh, my mother in law does that.
And I, I thought maybe I was alone in feeling like it was not okay, but now I’m being validated. It’s not. Right. And also, they did the toxic thing, we’re just talking about it. Exactly. Right? We’re not toxic. We’re perfect. That’s been established throughout the entire podcast. 100%. Um, no, that’s, yeah, I feel very fortunate, honestly.
I’m gonna go call my mother in law and be like, just wanted to say, for not cornering me in pantries recently. We gotta find out more about this pantry. Yeah, I do. Would love to see a floor plan. Um, it sounds like a gorgeous house. Uh, I would like to hear more about the house. Maybe we’ll get an invite next year.
I would love to go. Live show in this pantry. Where we have a microphone up to the, up to the pantry. And actually, if anyone has any kind of beef they need to air out, that’s where they have to go. It’s like a dedication.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. It’s like the real world. Like we’re like, they would have cameras everywhere.
Like the confessional was in the pantry. Yes. It’ll be the confessional.
Suzanne Lambert: Wow. Soon.
Christa Innis: We have a
Suzanne Lambert: TV, so yeah, I think, no, is it, no, I know one of them is like, um, in the political world now. So that’s, that’s love that one of the reality TV, real world alum. So, you know, I’ll be looking that up. Yeah. Reality stars are just everywhere these days.
They,
Christa Innis: Yeah, reality stars. They’re just like us
Suzanne Lambert: So much.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, well, thank you so much for coming on. I had so much fun, like hanging out with you. I love your takes and this was just so much fun hanging out. Um, can you tell everyone where they can find you, what you’re currently working on and all that good stuff?
Absolutely.
Suzanne Lambert: You can find me on all socials, so TikTok, Instagram, at, it’s Suzanne Lambert, S U Z A N N E. People think Susan and Suzanne are the same name, they’re not. Um, and I’m, you’ll see me every day posting videos, I talk about politics, I talk about makeup, skincare, just, whatever, spur of the moment. Um, and I, I co op, or I collaborate with some news outlets, so sometimes you’ll see that, see that too.
And I have a podcast launching soon, so more about that. So that will definitely Uh, be hitting you up once that’s live, but, uh, just keep a lookout.
Christa Innis: Awesome. Very exciting. Well, awesome. Well, thank you so much for coming on. It was so much fun and like officially meeting you and I love your content. Yeah.
Suzanne Lambert: Thank you.
I love yours. Thank you.
Wedding Demands, Ultimatums, and a Disney Honeymoon with Liz Fleming
Think weddings are all love and laughter?
In this episode, Christa spills the tea with Liz Fleming, life coach and founder of The Small Town Social, on setting boundaries and surviving wedding drama. From hosting epic events to managing moments that make you go “Did that really just happen?” Liz brings her A-game with hilarious stories and savvy advice.
The pair dives into juicy listener confessions, from overbearing in-laws to cringe-worthy pre-gaming fails at dry weddings. Liz breaks it all down with tips for staying cool, calm, and collected while keeping the good vibes rolling.
Whether you’re tying the knot, hosting a bash, or just here for the gossip, this episode will have you laughing, learning, and maybe even rethinking that bouquet toss.
Episode Chapter Markers
00:00 Introduction
01:26 Career Pivot and Life Coaching
03:13 Setting Boundaries and Event Hosting
04:43 Wedding Stories and Hot Takes
22:07 Wedding Day Drinking Dilemmas
24:08 Biggest Wedding Regret
27:10 Story Submission: Wedding Planning Woes
39:01 Weekly Confessions Game
Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments
- Liz shares her journey from PR to life coaching and her passion for personal development.
- Discussion on the importance of setting boundaries in weddings and events.
- Juicy listener stories about overbearing in-laws and dry wedding dilemmas.
- Wedding speech disasters and how to handle unplanned drama.
- Liz’s advice on creating meaningful, joyful events while maintaining personal boundaries.
- Insights into the cultural expectations of big weddings versus intimate gatherings.
- Hot takes on viral wedding trends and why authenticity matters.
Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode
- “Boundaries are so crucial—they not only set the tone for your gatherings but also let everyone, including you, have fun.” – Liz Fleming
- “The most satisfied people are the ones who follow their gut, set boundaries, and stay true to their vision.” – Liz Fleming
- “It’s okay to involve your audience in events, but always have a plan—otherwise, it can totally spiral.” – Liz Fleming
- “If your wedding day puts such a financial strain on you that you’re going to enter your marriage with such a level of stress, it’s not worth it.” – Liz Fleming
- “I think it’s really important to respect people’s choices for their wedding, whether it’s big, small, or something in between—it’s their story.” – Liz Fleming
- “Boundaries are the name of the game—respectful no’s are a form of self-care.” – Christa Innis
- “It’s your wedding, not an entertainment reality show. Stay authentic to your relationship.” – Christa Innis
- “Weddings are so personal, and I feel like when couples stick to what makes sense for them, that’s when the magic happens.” – Christa Innis
Mentioned in the Episode
- The Life with Liz Podcast
- The Small Town Social
- GLOWcon: An annual women’s conference organized by The Small Town Social, focusing on personal development and community building.
About Liz
Liz Fleming is a multi-passionate entrepreneur, life coach, and founder of The Small Town Social, a personal development community focused on empowering women. With 20 years as an award-winning PR professional, Liz pivoted her career to help ambitious women step into their power and live joyfully.
Through coaching, hosting events, and her annual gathering, GlowCon, Liz helps women gain clarity and confidence in all areas of life. As a military spouse and mom, she brings a relatable, results-driven approach to guiding others toward transformation.
Follow Liz Fleming:
Join the Drama with Christa Innis:
Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!
Your stories make Here Comes the Drama what it is! Share your unforgettable wedding tales, hilarious mishaps, or unbelievable moments with us. Whether it’s a wild confession or a story worth a skit, we can’t wait to hear it.
Submit your story today: Story Submission Form
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A Team Dklutr Production
Blog Transcript:
Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Christa Innis: Hi, Liz. Thank you so much for coming on.
Liz Fleming: Hey, Christa. It’s so nice to see you.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I know. I feel like we were just talking before recording, but I feel like time has gone so fast, and also feels like the blink of an eye. It’s like, time is so weird now.
Liz Fleming: Yeah. Time’s weird, but we just move on. We move through.
Christa Innis: We do. It just flies by. I’m so excited to have you on. Like I said, I thought of you right away because you are the host of your own podcast. You host events. You are so multifaceted. And so I thought you would be the perfect person to have on here and share your own hot takes.
And we’re going to play some games as we kind of go through. But first and foremost, can you kind of just share a little bit about yourself and what you do?
Liz Fleming’s Journey
Liz Fleming: Sure. Yeah, of course. I’m so excited to be here. This is going to be so much fun. It’s been a while since I’ve done a podcast interview, so I’m getting my juices flowing again, and the reason for that is that I have been in the thick of a total career pivot.
So as you know, Christa, because we used to do a lot of fun projects together, I was a publicist for 13 years. And I was presented with an opportunity to kind of slow down in my career, and I saw that as an opportunity to totally pivot and become a life and success coach.
So right now it’s just been amazing. You know, when you get that full-body feeling that you’re doing what you’re supposed to do. So I help women realize their purpose on purpose and realize their worth. And we can cover things from career, life, relationships, love, finances, whatever.
But the core of what I teach is really just helping women come back to wholeness so they can live more joyfully. And I have a set formula and a way that I do that. But, yeah, I’ve been in the thick of getting my certifications. So, I’m coming out on the other side of that and I’m just hitting the ground running. It’s just been amazing.
Christa Innis: I love that. I love that because I feel like what you said about when you find that purpose, that thing that really excites you, that is just like, cause it doesn’t feel like work. It just feels like, Oh, I get another day of doing this exciting thing and helping people and having a full impact, which is amazing.
Liz Fleming: Yeah, yeah, totally. And I forgot to mention too, like The Small Town Social, which you’re very familiar with, which is my women’s personal development group that kind of inspired the whole pivot to coaching because I host an annual gathering for women to focus on their self-healing. It just felt like coaching was my natural next step. So I have a lot of experience in event facilitation, which is going to make our conversation here really fun today. Yes. Yeah. It’s been awesome though.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Well, and as you’re talking too about what you do and your, like, how you kind of pivoted, that is perfect too because, and all these kinds of skits and stories that I share on my channel, it’s all about setting boundaries.
So many times these women have to deal with very difficult relationships or hard situations when growing up, they were taught to just be a people pleaser, just say yes, or just do what they tell you. And as we get older and we say no to things, we’re either told we’re difficult or we’re the B word.
So part of sharing these skits is like, you can do things respectfully. You can say no respectfully. So I feel like this is, you’re the perfect match to be talking on this podcast because you can share your take when it comes to setting boundaries and following your path of like, okay, that doesn’t serve me anymore. So let’s go this way.
The Power of Boundaries and Crazy Event Stories
Liz Fleming: Yeah, of course. And that’s so spot on. And it’s so funny you mentioned that because I just did a whole podcast episode about setting healthy boundaries, specifically around the holiday season, but they really apply to life in general.
And especially when you’re hosting an event, whether you’re a bride, you’re hosting a birthday party, or someone like me who hosts large-scale events. Boundaries are so crucial, and they really help not only set the tone for your gatherings but also set you apart and allow everyone, including yourself, to have fun. So important.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I love that. So with that being said, let’s jump into my first segment here, which is any crazy stories, and then we’re going to get into wedding hot takes.
So right off the bat, I know we were kind of talking, and you said just like leading events, you kind of have different, you’ve seen different things, or you’ve seen it all just being at different things.
Do you have any crazy stories that come to mind or anything you’ve heard that you were kind of like, kind of shocking or like, oh my goodness?
Event Hosting, Wedding Speeches, and Hot Takes
Liz Fleming: What’s sticking out for me as an event host is I love to involve my audience in my gatherings as much as possible. I don’t like to stand on a stage all day and talk to the audience. I’ve done that before, and, you know, it works for everyone. They learn a lot, but it was just like—so over the last 6 and a half years of doing these events with The Small Town Social, I have really involved my audience, but you have to be cautious with that.
So things like passing around the microphone and doing group shares—you guys can totally apply this to wedding speeches and stuff—be so cautious about doing things like that. Have a plan. Don’t just go free for all and start doing the group share or letting someone have the mic and do a speech because it can really get away from you.
There’s not really one instance; I mean, it’s happened loads of times for me, which is terrifying. Someone is either too scared to talk, the microphone’s pressed into their face, and there’s not much you can do about it, or they’re nervous to start talking, and then they talk and don’t stop talking.
That’s a really big one where you’re just kind of like, “You need a game plan for that.” I have kind of a seasoned approach now, but for anyone interested in hosting events, or you have an event on the horizon, that’s like my number one thing: totally involve your audience so they have fun, but proceed with caution.
Christa Innis: Yes. Oh my God. I’m so glad you said that because that was something I shared. I don’t remember where I shared it now—it might’ve been in a story somewhere—but I was at a wedding once. I was a bridesmaid, and at the last minute, I want to say it was like a few weeks before the wedding, she brought on another bridesmaid. They had a falling out and then became friends again.
And the girl right off the bat was like, “Alright, I’m giving a speech,” like didn’t wait to be asked, just told her, “I’m going to give a speech,” and this bride was so nice, and she was just like, “Okay,” just accepted it. And after this bridesmaid made her speech, she goes, “Anyone else have anything to say?” which I was just like, you know—no.
Lines started forming of siblings of the bride and groom, cousins—we were sitting there for probably 30-45 minutes just listening to these unplanned speeches. And they were, like, not—you know, like, there are certain things you say and don’t say in a speech, and they were just saying everything. They were talking about sibling fights growing up, how they had a terrible falling out growing up, and why they did, and it was just like, “Is this really happening?”
Liz Fleming: Oh my gosh. That’s so bad.
Christa Innis: That was so bad.
Liz Fleming: That’s like my nightmare. Actually, that is giving me flashbacks to my wedding because, yeah, more people made speeches than we knew. It was just kind of like, “Okay, all right.” It’s a boundary between respecting people, but also like, “I paid for this. This is my day,” kind of thing.
As long as you have a plan—like with how I run my events, I have outs. I have certain phrases that I say, and I’m very well-versed in how I present my body language. There are ways you can do that to change a conversation and change a vibe. You send the signal, right? The bat signal.
I have an amazing team helping me with these events, who are also well-versed in that. It makes it a lot easier to just kind of be like, “Okay, we’re going to take a pause here.”
The other reason why that’s scary is probably the most obvious—we live in a very sensitive time right now where everyone has different opinions, views, and thoughts on everything, and you just never know what someone’s going to say. I’m not trying to scare everyone away from the group because it is so powerful. Keep doing them. Just have an anchor—keep people focused.
Even, I mean seriously, for any event, you can do this. For weddings, keep it positive, keep it light. Focus on one thing, one memory. Don’t go down the rabbit hole of everything. And the same goes for more of a life-business-related event like what I do.
Christa Innis: Yeah. And I want to get to hot topics in just a second. But what you just said reminded me of this thing I saw—when you said there’s so much going on, like, we’re very opinionated, right?
I saw this TikTok where someone was sharing—and again, I don’t know what things I should say or not say yet—but in the bride’s father-of-the-bride speech, he talked about the election. He was so happy and came out wearing a hat, and I was just like, no, no, no.
And I guess she knew she had feelings that he was going to do this and was like, “Do not do it.” So she had already told him, “Do not do it.” And he still did it and made this about the election and not about her wedding, which I was like, “Come on!”
Liz Fleming: So that hurts. That hurts. It hurts a lot.
Christa Innis: Oh yeah. So that being said, let’s jump into some wedding hot takes. So I’m going to ask you a couple of questions here that are labeled as some kind of hot takes and tell me what you think.
Okay, let’s see. What is one wedding trend that you think needs to be retired for good and why?
Wedding Trends, Big Day Decisions, and Boundary Battles
Liz Fleming: Oh my gosh. I think—oh, am I going to get canceled for saying this?—I think it’s like the elaborate aisle stuff. Like, can we just get down the aisle? Does it have to be an elaborate dance thing or, you know?
Christa Innis: Choreography, like a choreography dance or something?
Liz Fleming: Yeah, and maybe those are already over. I haven’t seen them in a while, but I just remember there was a time when they were the thing. And, I don’t know, how long have I been married? Seven years? Six years? Five years? I remember when I was planning my wedding, I was like, that’s not happening.
I feel like it’s more about the extreme displays of entertainment going viral. Because everyone’s recording people at the wedding, and I just miss when it was intimate and personal. Now it’s like a reality show sometimes, and I think that’s what needs to go. That’s what I’m trying to get at.
Christa Innis: Yeah. No, I totally see what you mean because I think we’re losing sight of what makes sense for our relationship and our wishes instead of going viral. You totally hit the nail on the head with that because I was just talking to someone about how we’re so caught up in what everyone else wants for our wedding day that we lose sight of it, like, “Wait, that doesn’t make sense for me.”
Like, I would never do that. Or when parents come in, they want to invite 500 people. It’s like, “Well, I’m very introverted, so that’s really uncomfortable for me.” The same way it’s like, “Oh, let’s do this viral dance so that maybe we have a chance of blowing up on TikTok.” Why? Why do you ask yourself, why do you want that?
Liz Fleming: Yes, exactly. It’s like the gender reveals—they’ve gone too far.
Christa Innis: Starting forest fires in California. Like, let’s not do that, people.
Liz Fleming: Yeah.
Christa Innis: We can just do it the old-fashioned way—bite into a cupcake or something. If you really need to, just have the baby and move on.
Liz Fleming: Just have the baby.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Okay, that was a good one. Do you think big weddings are worth the expense, or would you recommend keeping them small and intimate?
Liz Fleming: That’s totally subjective. I don’t want to crush anyone’s dreams. If someone wants a huge wedding, I think that’s awesome.
I personally feel that if your wedding day is going to put such a financial strain on you that you’re entering your marriage with a level of stress that takes away the joy, then it’s not worth it. I’m an advocate for small and intimate weddings that are messy, joyful, and true to the couple.
I think it’s really up to you, obviously, and your budget. Weddings have gotten so expensive. I know people who’ve done destination weddings for that reason. They’re like, “Well, if we’re going to spend big money, we’re just going to go overseas and do it.” That often makes it smaller and more intimate because fewer family members can go.
So, there’s this hybrid segment of weddings now, which I love. I’m like, that sounds fun. Maybe for our 10-year anniversary, we’ll do something awesome like that. But yeah, I’m all for being small and intimate at the end of the day.
Christa Innis: I think you make a really good point. It kind of ties back to people trying to impress others and not staying true to themselves.
If it’s in your budget or always your dream to have a big wedding, do it. Go all out. But if you’re going to be in $50,000 of debt, maybe rethink it. At the end of the day, the wedding is about celebrating your love, not pleasing everyone else.
Liz Fleming: You also have to consider cultural perspectives, right? In some cultures, big weddings are the norm, and there’s no other way. Like, that’s what you do. Conversely, some people don’t have big families, so they compensate by inviting all their close friends.
For them, a big wedding is worth it to bring all the people they care about together. So many variables go into the why behind someone’s wedding size. I’d love to see more people being respectful about it. You never know someone’s story or their why.
Christa Innis: A hundred percent. I always find that people who tune out the noise when planning and do what’s true to them are the most satisfied with their wedding.
So many people listen to everyone but themselves, then say, “I wish I could have a redo. I hated that it was so big, or so small.” Listen to your heart and plan for you.
Liz Fleming: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Boundaries. Yes. Boundaries are the name of the game. Okay, next topic.
Christa Innis: The next segment is called “Pick a Side: Wedding Drama Debates.” So, I started asking social media to send me their unpopular opinions. I’m going to read a few, and we can debate them.
The first one says, “I don’t like the idea of a first look. My husband had to wait to see me until I came down the aisle.”
Liz Fleming: Well, I am all about shock and awe, so I don’t love the first-look thing. It’s really like, I don’t know, it feels like it kind of defeats the purpose. I get it, it’s nice to have that one-on-one moment. But to have that moment together, like, in front of everyone you care about, it sends out an energy that cannot be replicated. It’s like next-level good vibes, and I feel like the world needs more of that, so I’m in the camp of no first look.
Christa Innis: Yeah, if I had to pick one, I would say no first look, too. We didn’t do a first look because I was like, I always pictured that first walk down the aisle. It just seemed more climactic for me. But I get it—like people that have done it for timing purposes or scheduling, or maybe they were really shy and just wanted to get it out of the way.
Christa Innis: Okay, this next one says, “I hate the bouquet toss after 25. Nobody wants to be fighting for a bouquet.”
Liz Fleming: Oh, I don’t know. Twenty-five? Twenty-five? Holy crap. So young. I love the bouquet toss. I think it’s a great way to gamify your day. At that point, you’re more than halfway through the day. Your people have eaten, your guests have eaten, and the dancing is starting to happen. It’s just fun and fast, quirky, and doesn’t take up a lot of time. Do it.
Christa Innis: Did you have anyone push people out of the way, elbowing others, or maybe you didn’t see it as the bride?
Liz Fleming: Not aggressively. It was just a kind of jockey. Everyone was a little tipsy. I’ve been pushed out of the way at weddings I attended—it’s been like a mosh pit sometimes—but at my wedding, it was tasteful.
Christa Innis: Some people get really into it. I was scratched once, and it was so intense. Like, guys, it doesn’t mean you’re actually gonna get married next!
Liz Fleming: Yeah, you know your people best. You know your audience. I think that’s something you can pull out of the bag as you see fit. If your guests are likely to get drunk and belligerent, maybe it’s not something you want to do. There are ways to modify those age-old traditions.
Christa Innis: Yeah. And if you’re not athletic like me, maybe don’t do it either. I always worried I’d throw it wrong and knock someone out!
Liz Fleming: Also, if you skip it, you save money on that extra bouquet—like a hundred bucks saved right there.
Christa Innis: Okay, this last one says, “Pregaming a dry wedding is disrespectful to the bride and groom.”
Liz Fleming: Yes. I think that’s super rude. If the bride and groom made that decision consciously, it must be for an important reason. Respect it, then go drink afterward. It’s their day, not yours. Grow up and show up for your people.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I’ve never been to a dry wedding, but if I knew it was dry, I wouldn’t pregame—it’s just weird to me.
Liz Fleming: Yeah, let’s do shots in the parking lot. No thanks. Also, I think it’s weird when people get blackout drunk at weddings. The pictures are ruined, it’s a safety issue, and someone always ends up taking care of them. Alcohol is not the cornerstone of why we’re here.
Christa Innis: So true. I hear stories all the time about someone being so drunk they can’t even walk down the aisle or finish a speech. Let’s just hold off a little if you know you can’t handle it.
Liz Fleming: That was a hard line for my husband and me on our wedding day—no pregaming. I think I had one glass of champagne, and he maybe had a beer, just something to shake the nerves. It’s okay to have a little touch of that, but it’s not about taking away from the day or everything you’ve planned.
Christa Innis: Honestly, I thought I’d have more champagne the morning of, but I didn’t even finish my glass. I was running around so much with hair, makeup, and checking on things. The guys, meanwhile, just had to put on a suit and shower!
Liz Fleming: Same here. I wasn’t even drunk at my wedding—there was just no time. But can I share my biggest regret from my wedding?
Christa Innis: Yes, please do!
Liz Fleming: My biggest regret was putting the bride and groom’s table near the buffet entrance. Why did we do that?
Christa Innis: Wait, so your food table was where you sat?
Liz Fleming: Yeah, it was, but it was spaced out enough that I thought it would be fine. So, we were in a ginormous barn, and it was very elegant, and we had this beautiful, long buffet-style line of food. Our table was on the edge of the dance floor, and there was probably a 10-foot gap between where people went to get the food and our table. I think in my head, I was like, in this way, we’ll:
a) Be able to eat.
b) Get to see more people without having to go around the room so much.
It was a giant event, and because we tried to do that, we only made it to four tables. People just kept talking and talking, and you only have so much time. But then when we sat down to try and eat, it was just like one person after another coming up to us, saying, “Congratulations, we love you guys.” And it’s like, I think I took one bite of food.
I mean, that’s a big expense, and we were so hungry and thirsty. Our cheeks hurt, our hands hurt. That was my biggest regret—not being more mindful of our placement and where we sat.
Christa Innis: Yeah.
Liz Fleming: …Our placement and where we sat.
Christa Innis: That’s such a smart thing to say because I’ve never actually heard someone say that before, but it’s true. You get very drawn into conversations.
I know my husband actually had to stop me because I wanted to go up to everyone. I’m that person who feels guilty and thinks, “Oh my gosh, I didn’t say bye to so-and-so, even though I said hi to them earlier.” And he was like, “It’s okay. There are 150 people here. If you don’t say hi to one person, it’s going to be okay.”
I was like, “Okay.” But yeah, we did this thing called Mission Impossible, which was really cool. It was our photographer’s idea. They played Mission Impossible music, and the DJ announced that we were going to go to each table and take a picture with everyone.
It allowed people to feel like they saw you, and we just quickly moved. One side of the table gets behind the other side, so we could easily just get in there. It made everyone feel like they hung out with the bride and groom for a little bit.
Liz Fleming: Oh, I wish we did that. I feel like there were more than half of the people I didn’t even get to talk to. We had about 152 guests, and I truly thought we’d get around to everyone.
I mean, we tried, and I would have loved to have talked to everyone. Some people I hadn’t seen in years or ever met before, but you can only do so much.
Christa Innis: It’s—
Liz Fleming: …So hard.
Christa Innis: It’s so hard, but as long as you’re having a great time on your day and your guests are also benefiting from that, you’ve won. You’ve won the lottery in terms of the wedding day.
Helicopter Parents and Wedding Hijacks
Christa Innis: Yeah, absolutely. All right. Let’s jump into this week’s story submission.
As a reminder to everyone listening, I get regular stories sent to me all the time. I probably have like 300 that I haven’t even touched the surface on. So, this is a random story that I’ve not read yet. We’re just going to react together. And if you’re listening, thinking, I have a story to submit, you can submit it through the link in the show notes. We’re always taking new submissions.
All right.
When my husband and I got engaged, we were so excited. We were dating for a long time, so we didn’t want to wait too long to get married. We got engaged on May 1st and were talking about getting married around the end or middle of June.
Oh wow, that’s fascinating.
So then my husband could go to some family events with me as a couple at the beginning of July. We sat down with my then fiancé’s parents, and they were asking if we had picked a date for the wedding yet.
I told them we were thinking about June 22nd. They said, “That’s only a month and a half away. We want to have a lot of time to get everything done.”
I told them I knew where I was going to get my dress, and I knew from other family members that getting a dress would be no problem as long as I was going to rent it. I was also going to have fake flowers and make bouquets and boutonnieres myself, so we didn’t need to ask a florist in advance.
Liz Fleming: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Okay.
We were also not going to have our reception at an event center. We were planning on using a church for the reception, so we didn’t need to look for venues.
My father-in-law said, “That isn’t enough time to plan the other things that need to be done. And if we do it on July 22nd, then your fiancé’s older sister and her family, who live in Ohio, might not be able to attend since her husband is in the military. It would be hard for her to leave and come to the wedding.”
My fiancé and I had already talked about possible people who wouldn’t be able to attend the wedding. We came to the conclusion that it was our wedding, and if people couldn’t make it, then they couldn’t come.
My fiancé said, “Dad, we will just give people the date now so they can make arrangements.”
My father-in-law said, “That’s not how it works. You need to have everyone from the immediate family there for the wedding. So why don’t we do July 19th? Then your sister and her husband and family can come to the wedding since they will already be here.”
Why? Because they’re going to Disneyland that week.
Christa Innis: There’s a lot going on here.
Liz Fleming: Oh my God.
Christa Innis: There’s a lot of buildup here.
Liz Fleming: Poor bride.
Christa Innis: I know. Just getting ripped right from her. She knows what she wants. Leave her alone.
Liz Fleming: Yes.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh.
Christa Innis: Okay, here we go.
“That way you guys can have half of your honeymoon at Disneyland with all of us, which we would pay for. Wouldn’t that be fun?”
My then fiancé said, “Dad, we don’t really want to wait that long to get married since we’ve been dating so long. And we don’t really want to spend half of our honeymoon with you guys since it’s supposed to be just us.”
My future father-in-law said, “Oh, well, you’ll be in your own hotel room. You won’t be in the Airbnb with us in California, which I will pay for. You will also have a couple of days to yourself before the Disneyland trip. So you could go to St. George for a couple of days since it’s on the way to California.”
Liz Fleming: Oh my gosh. We should pause there.
Christa Innis: Wow. Helicopter much?
Liz Fleming: Geez.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Like, sure, yeah, that’s a quick engagement, but it sounds like they’ve already talked it through and figured it out. There’s no need to come in and say, “Well, let’s do it this day, and then you can have your honeymoon with us.”
Liz Fleming: Yes, that’s tricky. I’m seeing it from both angles here. The bride and groom know exactly what they want—signed, sealed, delivered. Awesome.
Most parents would be supportive of that. However, I get where the parents are coming from because it’s such a milestone, right? They’ve probably had this grand vision as parents over the last 20 or 30 years of how their child’s wedding would go and how they would contribute. They probably felt totally left out.
Christa Innis: Well—
Liz Fleming: In most weddings, the parents are pretty involved. They love to pay for certain things. It sounds like there was just a massive disconnect in family chemistry when it came to the wedding.
But for the honeymoon thing? That’s creepy. That’s weird.
Christa Innis: Well, and I feel like the weird part of it too is—because I totally get you—it’s like, yeah, they visualize this day and want to help their kid. But it almost sounds like they are catering to the sister and her husband a little bit more.
It’s like, “Well, they have a trip planned to Disneyland, so we should get married right before that.” It sounds like they want the couple to combine their vacation with the sister’s family’s plans to make it more convenient for them.
Liz Fleming: Yeah.
Christa Innis: It’s kind of weird.
Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s like they’re trying to make sure the sister, like the whole family, can be together. But as a military spouse, it doesn’t matter if you give a month lead time or ten months. The military is the military, and they might not be able to attend anyway. Like, they could just get called up for something.
Liz Fleming: Yeah.
Christa Innis: So that’s a little weird to me. But yeah, overall, it felt pretty disrespectful to react that way as someone related so closely to the bride and groom. It’s okay to have your opinions privately and maybe have that discussion. But to just insert yourself so directly into that moment? It just felt like she was being shut down at every turn. The poor thing.
Liz Fleming: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Oh my goodness. And I hope there’s more like—
Liz Fleming: Oh, there’s more?
Christa Innis: There’s more.
Liz Fleming: Oh heavens.
Christa Innis: My fiancé said, “What if we do it on the 27th of June? That’s a weekend, and my sister still might be able to come since it’s a weekend. Then we have two months for whatever other planning we need to do.”
Future father-in-law said, “No, your sister will not be able to come down that weekend either. Ohio is a long way, and it costs a lot of money for her to come down to Utah. July 19th will be best for all of us.”
So again, saying no.
My fiancé then looked at me and said, “We will need to talk about this more than just for a second.” We left the room and talked about what we would want to do.
I said, “I’m really frustrated. I understand if she can’t come, but they are making assumptions that she won’t be able to make it to our wedding. They’re kind of speaking for the sister at this point, not even allowing her to answer for herself. If she really wants to come, I think she can make it happen. If she doesn’t want to come, then she won’t. This is supposed to be our wedding day, not your parents’. I want to get married in June.”
Liz Fleming: Yeah, there’s so much that’s not said in this story. We don’t know the backstory of the bride and groom and why they selected that date. Maybe there was a timeline—financial, career, or health reasons—you just don’t know.
Christa Innis: Yeah, exactly.
Liz Fleming: If anyone in my family ever said something like that to us, I’d be like, “No. What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you high?” I value your opinion, but this is what we decided. Get over it.
Christa Innis: Yeah. Exactly. It almost sounds like a weird control thing because they’re so set in July. And I’m like, what’s the big difference between June and July? To me, nothing.
Liz Fleming: Yeah, nothing. It’s less than a month. And when he said the thing about “I’m paying for it,” that was definitely a power play.
Christa Innis: I hate that.
Liz Fleming: Totally. It’s like, “I’m paying for it, so you’ll do what I want.”
Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s so frustrating.
Liz Fleming: That’s tricky.
Christa Innis: So, after talking, the bride said, “I don’t want to cause drama in your family. And I feel like if we push for the 27th, it will just make things complicated with your parents. I guess we will have to do the 19th and just not make your parents go into a frenzy.”
My fiancé said, “Are you sure that’s what you want to do?”
I said, “It’s not what I want to do, but I guess it’s what we have to do to keep the peace.”
Liz Fleming: Ugh.
Christa Innis: They went back into the room and said, “I suppose we’ll do July 19th.”
The bride added, “I have other stories from my wedding, but this is already so long. Message me if you have any questions.”
Liz Fleming: Oh my gosh. That makes me so sad.
Christa Innis: I know.
Liz Fleming: She was a baller about this. She was very clear about what she wanted, set her boundaries, and had the courage to say, “That’s not what I want.” And yet, she’s just put in this tricky position. Imagine if you were in her shoes, up against that mounting pressure from in-laws. Starting off your marriage with that kind of dark energy? Yikes.
Christa Innis: Yeah. I get why she felt the pressure to change her mind, but it sucks that she had to.
Liz Fleming: Yeah.
Christa Innis: All right. I think I did okay with reading that. I have to be honest—one time, I read a confession on Facebook, and someone commented, “Before you post anything, you should make sure you know how to read.”
Liz Fleming: People are so nice.
Christa Innis: Right?
Liz Fleming: That was a really long read. Way to crush it.
Christa Innis: And I should have probably broken it up a little bit.
Liz Fleming: No, I think it was great. I like that you read it in chunks so that we could talk about it along the way.
Christa Innis: Yeah, I’m learning as I go here. Okay, I know we’re overtime, so I’ll make this next section a little shorter. It’s called the weekly confessions game. I’ll just do one confession, and we’ll rate it.
Okay, so these people are sending me their confessions on Instagram now, and we’ll rate it from 1 to build tea and 10 to absolute chaos. And if you have something to add, feel free.
Okay, this is crazy: “My dad was my landlord and told me to use rent as my wedding gift, then made me pay it back the next month.”
Liz Fleming: People are so weird. What the fuck? I guess. I don’t, like, what? Why are you paying it back? That’s not a gift. That’s a loan.
Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s literally a loan.
Liz Fleming: An interest-free loan.
Christa Innis: Positioned as a gift. People are so strange.
Liz Fleming: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Okay, I’m just going to read this other one real quick, and we’ll close out.
“Yes. In-laws insisted on staying at the hotel and then arrived one minute before the entrance of the bridal party.”
Liz Fleming: That’s making a statement.
Christa Innis: Yeah, that was done on purpose.
Liz Fleming: Yeah.
Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. This is crazy. Thank you so much for coming on, Liz. I know. I’m like, what other stories can we read? This was so much fun. I really enjoyed having you come on and catching up. Can you tell us again where everyone can follow you, what other projects you’re working on, and all that good stuff?
Liz Fleming: Yeah, of course. Everyone can find me on Instagram—that’s my favorite. So, you can find me at @thesmalltownsocial on Instagram or at @MsLizFleming. I have two accounts.
And then, yeah, all the links are there. I share a ton of content. You can work with me one-on-one in coaching.
I think the biggest thing I have coming up, even if you’re not local to North Carolina, is a women’s personal development gathering called GlowCon on March 20th, 2025. The majority of women are here in North Carolina, but I have some women flying in from as far as Ohio, California, Washington, Virginia, and Vermont.
So it’s really grown. This is the second time I’m doing it, but it’s such a beautiful day of community, connection, getting to know yourself better, and just having some fun on the first day of spring.
So, a lot of stuff going on for little ol’ me, but I would love to connect with you all, and this has been wonderful, Christa. Thank you.
Christa Innis: Of course! Yay, I’m so excited. This is awesome.