wedding budgeting

A $16K Scam, a Shocking Threat, & Knowing Your Limits - with Kendra Matthies

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

They cried. They complained. They blamed everyone else. And then the check bounced.

This week’s wedding submission spirals into accusations, threats, and a bounced $16K check that leaves vendors stunned. Joined by Kendra Matthies, Christa dissects the chaos, calling out toxic wedding norms, contract misunderstandings, and entitlement disguised as innocence.

Then we dive into wedding confessions: maid of honor regrets, guest list battles, and the quiet urge to just elope. Buckle up, this one is totally WILD!

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Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

Step Back to Protect Health – The burnout no one talks about, and how constant entitlement can push vendors to their breaking point.
The $16K Wedding Scam – A venue hosts a full wedding… then the final check bounces and chaos erupts.
Cake on the Floor, Tears in the Room – Accusations fly after a cake mishap sparks emotional manipulation and blame.
“We Know the Owner” Energy – Why entitlement shows up loudest at weddings and small businesses feel it hardest.
Pastor Threats & Legal Pressure – A shocking twist involving church leadership and intimidation tactics.
Vendor Survival Tips – Kendra breaks down contracts, deposits, and protecting your business.
Elopement Temptation – Skipping the drama and choosing peace over performance.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“My wedding is important to me, but I don’t expect it to be the most important thing in everyone else’s life.” – Christa Innis
“I feel like if I’m doing too much work, I’m not enough of a mom or not enough of a wife or a friend.” – Christa Innis
“Contracts exist because of people like this.” – Christa Innis
“Your wedding was literally built on a lie.” – Christa Innis
“People love boundaries until they apply to them.” – Christa Innis
“At some point, this stops being ignorance and starts being entitlement.” – Christa Innis
“You don’t have to have a chronic illness to need to know your limits.” – Kendra Matthies
“Give an inch, they take a mile, every single time.” – Kendra Matthies
“If you signed the contract, that’s on you. Don’t blindly sign, consult.” – Kendra Matthies
“As a business owner, your pricing should protect you, not depend on tips.” – Kendra Matthies
“Stop expecting discounts from people you barely know.” – Kendra Matthies
“It is never worth it to put yourself in debt for a wedding.” – Kendra Matthies
“There are twenty-four hours in a day, and we’re not awake for all of them.” – Kendra Matthies

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

About Kendra

Kendra Matthies is a Michigan‑based bridal makeup artist, licensed esthetician, beauty educator, and social creator with over a million fans across social platforms. She’s built her career helping hundreds of brides glow on their big day and teaching other artists how to thrive in the beauty world, with real talk about technique, clients, and the sometimes brutal backstage truth of weddings and events.

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A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi, Kendra.

Kendra Matthies: Hey, how’s it going?

Christa Innis: Good. Thank you so much for coming back on. I’m so excited.

Kendra Matthies: It’s so great to be back. It does not feel like it’s been like what, a year since we filmed our last episode together, so I’m so excited. It’s been so cool to see how your podcast has grown.

I’ve loved watching everybody’s little interviews and everything. It’s been really entertaining, so it’s super cool to be back again.

Christa Innis: I know. I, I think the fun thing about it is just being able to connect to so many people. Like, I feel like if it weren’t for this podcast, like we would never have had like a sit down to like, talk like this or, yeah, it’s, it just makes it so fun and like forces me outta my shell too, because like, I feel like working from home, like I just like, I just have like a plan of like what I do and like a lot of times I don’t see a lot of people, so it’s a great, great way to connect.

Kendra Matthies: Hey, I won’t lie. This is the first time I’ve worn makeup in like a month beyond just like tinted SPF and some freaking mascara. I’m like, well, I better put on a face today because I’m filming an episode. So thank you for giving me a reason to get dolled up. Hey,

Christa Innis: anytime. No, you feel like people expect you as a makeup artist?

Like, like, oh, they expect me to have full face.

Kendra Matthies: So, yes, and I will say that it’s, if I’m doing makeup clients, I do try to put like a little bit more makeup on, but my day to day, I’m an esthetician. So I mean, my day to day is more like facial clients, eyebrows, lashes, things like that. And I feel like most of my clients are more regulars now where they’re coming every six to eight weeks, and I don’t think that they really care that I’m just wearing some tinted moisturizer and a little bit of mascara.

But when it comes to makeup clients, I think that it does. One, there is that level of professionalism. I feel, and this can be heavily debated too, like some people feel you don’t have to wear makeup as a professional makeup artist while you are doing work. But for me, I find that the very few times that I haven’t done that, I get a lot more questioning my skills.

I guess that, if that makes sense, where it’s like, um, are you sure you’re gonna be able to do this? So I think being able to be like, I do know how to do makeup. Right. It’s a little bit more comforting to the person. Yeah. And a little bit more encouraging. Yeah.

Christa Innis: I feel like that’s probably, yeah, like a natural thing.

Like, oh, if you’re hiring for someone for hair or for nails, you are looking at their hand and nails. Although I feel like whenever I get my nails done, like they’re probably just like so busy that like they are more worried about their client and less about their own. Yeah. Which makes sense for sure. So, so like we said, it’s been like a year since you’ve been on, so what’s like.

What’s been new for you? What have you kind of done over the last year that you’re like, I know you’ve been speaking at events I’ve been seeing and Yes. What’s kind of your big thing you’re working on or did the last year? So

From 60 Weddings to Choosing Balance

Kendra Matthies: in the past year, it was a lot of traveling. I did a lot of traveling last year.

I went to a bunch of different conferences. I taught a lot at different conferences around the country. Um, I did my first kind of like independent class where it wasn’t in relation to any of those, and that was really exciting. Um, but yeah, I mean, I got to go to Anaheim. I got to go to Orlando, Chicago, Denver, uh, yeah, kind of all over.

Christa Innis: Is it, is it all like. Students that go to your classes or can like anyone go to

Kendra Matthies: your class? So it is typically for the conferences and stuff, those are beauty professionals only. Okay. But people who are in cosmetology school, esthetician school, anything like that they can come to. But these ones, it is more of like just for the industry, but they’re very, very packed.

Um, so it’s definitely not like I’m feeling like I’m missing out on seeing a lot of people, which is really cool too. It definitely feels like I’m still offering a good amount of education. But yeah, mostly more beauty professionals when it comes to those types of things. I would love to do more open to the public type of classes.

Um, it’s just trying to find the time between bridal season to make that happen. Um. But yeah, so it definitely got to meet a lot of the beauty, uh, students, makeup artists, cosmetologists, hairstylists, barbers, all the things. Yeah. Uh, that follow me in person. So that was really nice. And I love doing these events.

Um, like the one that happens in Chicago. I’ve done that for, I think this is my fourth year being with them teaching. Um, and so it’s been cool to just see the growth of myself, but also when people come back and they’re taking my classes again, and now they’re telling me, you know, I, when I first came, I was still a student and now I own my own makeup studio, or I own my own salon, or I’ve been at a salon for however many years and I’m getting steady clientele.

Like, it’s just been really cool to do that. So that has been a big thing travel wise. And then just weddings. I mean, I was pretty busy this year. I did make the decision to. Kind of step back from taking every wedding. And mostly because I one was doing so much other traveling with teaching and things like that.

Like I do need to have the availability to do that, even though I did still have where I would be leaving a wedding to jump on a flight to go teach at these places. Right. Um, but I did take a step back typically in a year. You know, I would take anywhere from 50 to 60 ish weddings, but I just, that’s wild.

It’s a lot. And I made the decision last year to step back and I wanted to take only about 30 weddings just to give myself a little bit more time. Um, which I think was really smart. Uh, not just for me, but it let me learn a lot about myself and, uh. I think it was the really healthy thing for me to do and I think that it’s gonna be a good thing that I learned those things to share with other people.

Just things like burnout, man, like yeah, it’s so easy to get locked into the go, go, go. And once you do, take that step back, it’s like, whoa. I don’t, I guess I have been like in fight or flight for the past eight years because I’ve just been doing so many weddings. So I did make that decision. That’s something I’m moving forward with, um, in 26 as well, is just less weddings.

More educating is kind of my goal too. I want to do more teaching this year. But yeah, so weddings last year I got to do my first couple, um, further out of state weddings, which was exciting. I got to go to New York to do a wedding. Um, so yeah, just lots. Travel was kind of the theme of last year. Just go, go, go.

But awesome.

Christa Innis: I feel like that’s a really like common thing I hear, like, whether it’s like wedding industry or just like starting your own business. It’s like. It’s really exciting, like when your business grows and you just wanna say yes to everybody. And I’ve like, I feel like I’ve had so many conversations with people, they’re like, all of a sudden it just like hit me like I’m burned out.

I can’t say yes to everybody. I was talking to a wedding planner, I’m trying to think of what month it was, maybe like a month or two ago. A friend of mine and she was like, similar thing. Like she was like, I’m finally like toning it back, back with weddings a little bit because she was doing like 50, 40, 50 a year.

And most of them are in that like wedding season. And she like, it’s just exhausting. But you’re just like, go, go, go. And you’re like, this is exciting, it’s fun. But then you realize like, I don’t have time to myself or like my body hurts. I’m actually like. Well, and

POTS, Passing Out, and Pushing Through

Kendra Matthies: that’s the thing too. That’s something I really had to be mindful of.

I think I’ve shared this before, but I am somebody that I do struggle with chronic illnesses and I am physically disabled. I have my hip replaced. So I mean, I do feel like as I’m getting older, I do need to also be mindful of myself. Mm-hmm. Because there were times in recent years before I did take that step back where.

I would get done with a wedding. And actually, here’s a good little story for me to tell. I guess I had a wedding where it was at a hotel and I had a pretty decently long day on average. Nowadays, the most I will take alone to do makeup is probably about seven, maybe eight people, but probably closer to seven.

I don’t like to go over that too much because it’s just, that’s a lot of standing without being able to take a drink of water or go to the bathroom, things like that. Um, so I had, I wanna say around about eight people and I got done with the wedding. I had been there from like, I wanna say five to five, six, so 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

Okay. 12, one o’clock. Sorry. Math is not my strong suit at this moment. That’s okay. So let’s say I got done around like one, um, and I say goodbye to everybody. Everybody’s happy, everything’s awesome, and I knew I was not feeling well. Um, so one of the conditions I have, it’s called pots, which you may have heard of before.

It stands for postural orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. For those who are listening who don’t know what that is. And in very, very, very basic terms, when I am standing, my heart rate is elevated. When I am in the heat, it gets elevated even more. That’s a trigger for me. Um, high stress situations can cause me to get like even worse.

So I get done with the, uh, wedding, take the elevator downstairs, uh, go out to my car and I put my stuff in my car. Sit down. I leaned back and I closed my eyes and I actually passed out. I didn’t realize that I did. Oh my gosh. But it was probably about, I would say, somewhere between like five to eight minutes before I like opened my eyes again.

And that’s when I realized that I needed to start calming down. I needed to start taking less weddings. So after that wedding that was, I wanna say in 24, leading into 25, I decided I just needed to really skill back. So I think that if it wouldn’t have been for something like that happening, I probably still would be pushing myself.

But for anybody listening, you don’t have to have a chronic illness. You don’t have to be physically disabled, you don’t have to be anything to I. Need to know your limits, to need to know what your end goal really is. Do you want to constantly be in a state of stress with like panic all the time of planning or, um, you know, free time for yourself?

Your work shouldn’t be your life. Like, yeah, you should be able to have somewhat of a balance. And I did see somebody post something recently, like, does anyone know when I actually reach this work life balance? Like, is that even a thing? And I think that there’s no real set template of this is what works, this is what doesn’t work.

You kind of just have to figure it out as you go. And that’s kind of what I’ve had to do is just realize once I hit my limit, scale back until it feels. Comfortable.

Christa Innis: Yeah. That’s so funny you say that because I, I just made a video talking about, I don’t know if it was necess, I might have been kind of like implying work-life balance, but I did say something about like, one of the things I’m struggling with is trying to find balance.

’cause I feel like mm-hmm. The planner part in me always wants things to be like this. And when I’m not productive I get so hard on myself. And so I’ll have like days where I’m like, everything’s like done, that I need to, I check the boxes. And the other days where I’m just not productive and I’m just like, where’s this balance?

Or like, I feel like if I’m doing too much work, I’m not enough of a mom or I’m not enough of a wife or a friend. You know, that pull of like needing to do all these things. So I totally relate.

Kendra Matthies: I think that one thing that I heard in my life. From just a friend of mine, and I don’t even think she was trying to be any sort of inspirational thing or anything.

Yeah, she was just talking. She said that if I’m ever over excelling in one portion of my life, I’m failing in another. Mm-hmm. And that has really stuck with me. And I don’t think that that’s negative, like necessarily a negative thing. I think that if you think of your life as right now, I want to be really excelling in my career, you have to also understand that that does equate that maybe you’re.

Weekends are a little bit less, your friend time is gonna be a little bit less, and it’s not ever to me that things will ever be 50 50 balance. I think that if you want to be excelling in one way, you have to give up a couple of things for it to be balanced so that you’re not trying to keep up with the friendships every single weekend we’re going out.

It’s just not possible. And then you’re putting way too much pressure on yourself when at the end of the day, especially in this type of career, when your own, you are your own boss, you’re setting your own goals and aspirations and things like that. The only person who is holding you to that standard is you.

So if you are being so hard on yourself with things like that, you’re never gonna feel balanced. You’re never gonna feel like you’re accomplishing enough and you’re never gonna feel like you. You’ve done it, you’ve ne you’re never gonna feel comfortable. You’re never gonna feel stable. You’re always gonna be reaching for more or wanting to do more.

And it’s not bad to have goals and have aspirations, but you can’t, you can’t stress to yourself out to the point that you are holding yourself to not possible standards like it, it physically can’t happen. There’s 24 hours in a day. People love to say that. Mm-hmm. We’re not awake and going for 24 hours in a day.

So I think that you just have to, as a person, whether you are just a person, person, whether you’re a business owner, entrepreneur, makeup artist, whatever, the balance doesn’t come 50 50. It’s how can I rearrange things in my life to feel like what I’m wanting to focus on right now? Is what I’m focusing on and I’m not stressing about trying to uphold other things too.

Mm-hmm. I hope that makes sense.

Christa Innis: No, it totally does. No, I love that because it’s kinda like different seasons require different balances and different priorities. Mm-hmm. Because, yeah, you made a good point. It was like last year was my first full year, I would say, as an entrepreneur. I started in 2023 of my own business, but last year with like the social media consulting and all that stuff.

And so I think I put like so much effort in it, but it was also my daughter’s second year of life. She’s like, I’m trying to think of like how the year’s worth Yeah. Versus birthdays so second year of life. So I’m like, oh, it’s such an important stage. And then there’s the mom guilt and so you like push it back and forth.

But I’m like, I also have the benefit of being home with her. So I do get to be home with her more than I think most working moms get to. So I kind have to remember like that’s, that’s a something that I get that, or what’s the word I’m looking for? That’s a. A privilege or an like, something that I have that not a lot of people are able to do.

So, um, so, you know, just kind of realizing those things and, and stepping outside of it is like, is important. So yeah. I feel like that was like a mini therapy session. Thank you.

Kendra Matthies: Oh yeah. You’re welcome. Most of that comes to you via my therapist. Thank you Theresa. We love you. Thank you. Yes.

Christa Innis: I always hear things like that.

I’m like, maybe I should go back to therapy. I’m like, just so I have someone like talk to you about things like that. ’cause it’s like, no,

Kendra Matthies: I think everybody needs a therapist. I think everybody should go to therapy. Even if you don’t feel like you are struggling with something right now. Even if it’s not like I need therapy.

You know what I mean? I don’t think that, I don’t think that you will ever not benefit from having somebody to talk to that’s not biased, that can help you work through situations. Even if it’s just that you’re going through a hard time at work or. Kind of what we’re talking about. Like maybe you are struggling with mom guilt.

I wouldn’t say when you’re struggling with those things, most people in your life are gonna be like, wow, you need therapy. Right. But I do think that if you are in therapy while you’re going through those things in your life, you’re gonna benefit from it. You’re never gonna be like, why did I even sit through that therapy session?

I think you can always benefit from therapy. Oh,

Christa Innis: for sure. Yeah. I think it’s like one of those things where it’s just good to sometimes like say it out loud. Yeah. Because I even like the people that submit stories to me too, like these like wedding drama stories or relationship things. They, they always tell me at the end, or should say like a lot of times at the end they’re like, even if you don’t use this, it was really good for me just to like type it out.

’cause they’re like, it allowed me to like see what happened and understand how I feel about it. ’cause I think so many times, like we’re talking about is like, go, go, go. What the heck just happened? Oh, well next problem. You know, you kind of just push it aside. So I think it’s absolutely so beneficial. And I think therapy too is way less stigmatized than it was like when we were like children maybe.

Kendra Matthies: Yeah.

Christa Innis: I’ve definitely gone to therapy multiple times in my life at like different points where like stress was super high or something was going on. But it’s funny, I’ve told someone this also in this one before, probably not on the podcast, but um, the last therapist I had, um, I loved her. She was great, but she like dismissed me at the end.

She’s like, all right, I think we solved the problem. We’re gonna be done now. And then, like she just said, I was done. And I remember telling my boss at the time, ’cause he’s really like, open about therapy and mental health. Yeah. It’s like, oh, I’ve never had that happen before. And I was like, I, that I’ve never had that happen to me either.

Kendra Matthies: Yeah. I’ve, I’ve gone to therapy for the past. I wanna say that I started therapy in 2020 and I’ve been seeing the same therapist since then. And I’ve taken breaks, you know, when. I got off my parents’ insurance or whatever and I, well I can’t afford it right now. I gotta pay for that. Um, yeah. And then gotten back on with her and yeah, there’s never been a time even when I felt like I was doing well and the therapy was more of just like a moment for me to check in with myself, I guess.

Um. Where she’s been like, alright, great. The only thing I would say that she ever says is, do you feel like we still need to meet monthly? Or would you wanna maybe push it out to two months? That makes sense to me. But to be like, well, we solved the problem. I don’t think that therapy always needs to be, and I’m not saying that it’s never this way, but I don’t think that it always needs to be solving the problem to end it.

Because problems keep coming up in life. Things keep happening. Who’s to say that She didn’t say? Um, you know, we solved the problem. That’s it. And then a week later you have some major tragedy happen in your life and you have nobody to talk to.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Kendra Matthies: I mean, you have friends, you have family, but you don’t have an unbiased person who knows how you think, knows how you processes things.

Yeah. So that’s, that’s kind of odd. I’m sorry you

Christa Innis: had that experience. Oh yeah. It was so odd. I was just like, at the time I was like, oh, cool. And then later I was like, wait, is that supposed to happen? I don’t know. Yeah. It was weird. Maybe I need therapy to talk about that therapy.

Kendra Matthies: You’re like, actually,

Christa Innis: actually, anyway, I feel like I got off.

Um, oh, there’s no topic. Whatever. We’re, we’re talking

Kendra Matthies: we’re yapping. It’s fine.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Back to pause really quick. I just have a quick question about that. So like, yeah, what was your first, like symptoms you just noticed like your heart rate would kind of increase

Kendra Matthies: a long time? So I have a little bit of an odd story kind of when it comes to my health in general.

Um, so I have always really struggled with, like, exercise was always really difficult for me and not in the sense of like, I don’t wanna do it, but it would be like, I don’t want to do it as a child and like I’m running, playing basketball and I’m great at sports and I’m awesome at like these things at a young age, but.

I’m having to like ask to get taken out to take a break and I’m like beat red and blood pooling in my legs and all that. Yeah. I really noticed it amping up after I had my hip replaced. Um, and I’ve, POTS is one of a few things that I deal with, but I mean, I was on, or not even my hip replace, I have had two hip surgeries on the same hip.

The first one was a like experimental one to see if we could kind of push off the replacement so that I wouldn’t have to get multiple throughout my life. Um, but it only gave me like four-ish years of relief. Yeah. Um, so after that surgery I was still on the crutches from that surgery and I actually passed out.

And it was a whole thing. I was at work. I’m gonna pause for a second ’cause my neighbor’s coming downstairs. No, you’re good. We’ll edit this out. Yeah.

Okay. So, um,

okay. So I had had my first hip surgery and I actually passed out at work, like smacked my head off of a counter. It was a whole thing. Paramedics had to come. It was not great. Um, but then I was noticing like it was just happening a lot more and. Mostly it was like starting to amp up. The more I was like stressed because I found out now for me, stress and the heat are like my biggest triggers when it comes to pot, my pots.

Um, and so I had a family member pass away and I had to sing at their funeral. And I don’t even remember the last like verse that I’m singing. Thank God I said the words correctly. Um, but I sang that stepped back. I was up in the balcony, so thankfully I wasn’t also in front of everybody. But I like stepped back, looked over to a family friend and was like, I’m gonna pass out.

She took me downstairs fine. Um, and then after my second surgery, my hip replacement, that’s when a lot of my other chronic illnesses started. Um, I also have a condition called mast cell activation syndrome, which. Basically for me, your mast cells are the cells that kind of check out foreign invaders, like things coming into the body and they go, we good or not good?

I’m not a medical professional, so if I’m saying this wrong, but I do know that they are the reason that histamine is put out. And so for me, my mast cells are kind of always activated, hence mast cell activation syndrome. Um, but what that means for me is I’ve developed a lot of allergies, um, and I can like develop new ones to random things and that might be just, I’m itchy, but it’s also like I go anaphylactic.

So I have to be, I’ve had a whole life shift because of all of that. Um, but because of my mast cell activation syndrome and um, pots. If one of them gets mad, the other one gets mad. So I’ve had a couple of times where I’ve, I mean, I’ve passed out quite a bit and not everyone with POTS will, that’s kind of a misconception.

Like people with pots stand up and instantly pass out. That’s not typically the case. Like some people will, but it’s more of like a constant state of feeling, um, like out of it, I guess. Like brain fog is massive with pots. Um, I, it’s, it affects your entire autonomic nervous system. So that’s like breathing, that’s like digestion.

That’s your heart rate, your temperature control, things like that. Mm-hmm. Um, so it’s affected me in a lot of ways, which is again, when I started realizing like, okay, this is affecting me when I’m taking too many weddings. That’s, I really need to step back, but. Definitely it was like heart racing. Um, I wear a device that’s called a visible armband.

I’m not wearing it today because I’m sitting, but it basically will show me second by second what’s going on with my heart rate and alert me if I’ve been in the red zone for too long, if I am, you know, more opt to, uh, need to take a break or anything like that. So, mm-hmm. I wear that now. But, uh, yeah, it, it’s not fun.

It’s definitely been one of the most debilitating things for me. Um, and I think that. It’s something that I wanna talk more about. So I’m glad that we get to talk about it here because we don’t, we don’t really get to see much representation of people that are entrepreneurs that are also dealing with things like this, or business owners that are dealing with things like this.

I feel like it’s kind of stereotypical that it’s more like you’re a boss, babe, and you’re just go, go, go. Awesome. And what people don’t see with people like me who are chronically ill or whatever are, you know, the days that, I mean, I’ve even had here, this is, I’m at my store right now, but I’ve even had here where between clients I know I’ve got 20 minutes, I am not doing well, and I’m taking my emergency meds, I’m laying on the floor with my feet elevated for 15 minutes and then quick getting back to it, pushing through that.

And then same thing between clients. I’m just having to take breaks. So, yeah. That was a really long thing,

Christa Innis: but No, no, but that’s good. Like you said, it’s something that I think all people can learn more about and I think be able to see like the behind the curtain kind of thing because Yeah. Um, it’s, it’s something that’s not talked about a lot and so that’s why I was like really curious about like your first symptoms and then kind of how you handle it now when you know it’s like coming on or, you know, feeling a certain type.

Kendra Matthies: It’s, it’s hard too because the handling it thing isn’t really like, it’s one of those conditions that there’s a huge. Spectrum. You could be somebody with pots and if you’re listening to this now and you have pots that this is the case, please comment below because I want people to feel not alone, but you could be somebody with pots that you are on disability, you can’t get out of bed, you’re having people coming to your house, giving you IV infusions at home because you physically can’t stand.

Mm-hmm. It can be that severe. And then there’s people like me that are kind of somewhere in the middle, like in wedding season, which unfortunately for me is when here is obviously like summer fall, when it’s warmer. So I’m getting like at least monthly infusions, but people aren’t seeing that. I’m not showing that, oh, come with me to get my iv.

Right. Um, and then constantly taking salt pills so that my blood pressure stays somewhat level. Um, making sure that I’m like actually forcing myself to take. Drinks and stuff like that, working that time into my client’s timelines, things like that. Um, there’s this huge spectrum of pots and I think that it’s becoming more well known, which I’m really happy about, but I think that people aren’t seeing enough of working people with it.

And so it can be a little bit like, oh, well if you have pots, why aren’t you just on disability? It’s not easy to do that. It’s not easy to, yeah. You know, so thank you for letting me talk about that. I’m really happy that I got to share that with people.

Christa Innis: No, of course. Yeah, and you make a good point too, about, I think like in general, when someone hear about a disability or an autoimmune, they’ll, they’ll relate to one person they know and they don’t realize everything is a spectrum.

So some people have very severe symptoms all the time, like you said, and some maybe internally battling every single day. And some might have some, uh, some smaller symptoms or, you know. Yeah. And so I think it’s important to see that there’s a wide span and to just, you know, give grace to people and kind understand it kind of, every situation might be a little bit different as well.

Kendra Matthies: Absolutely. Absolutely.

Christa Innis: Thank you for sharing that. No, I, I was curious ’cause uh, I, I didn’t really know much about it.

Kendra Matthies: Yeah. Yes.

Wedding Etiquette Under the Microscope

Christa Innis: Um, okay. So let’s get into some of the. Wedding hot takes before we get to the story. Mm-hmm. So, okay. Started a new thing since last time, because I don’t think we did this last time.

Red flag or green flag? Mm. So you’re just gonna, I’m gonna say a sentence and then you’ll just say if it’s a red flag or a green flag.

Kendra Matthies: Okay.

Christa Innis: Okay. Replacing a bridesmaid close to the wedding,

Kendra Matthies: that’s a hard one though, because I guess I know I should, I know you wanna answer a red flag, green flag. It really depends on the situation though. I know, I know. That’s a hard one. So, as a vendor, I would say maybe it’s red flag for planning purposes and like scheduling purposes, depending on how close, like if it’s the day before, like Right.

That can be a little bit like jarring, but I don’t wanna say it’s a full red flag because. If that person in your bridal party was going to be chaotic or causing you tons of stress, or maybe there’s been a massive falling out green flag, please don’t have them there. I don’t wanna have to be around that either.

I don’t wanna be set in in that stressful situation and I don’t want my client in that stressful situation. So, man, that’s a hard one. I would say that really depends, but I’m leaning, I guess, more towards green.

Christa Innis: I know. I feel the same way. I feel like a lot of these scenarios, there’s so much, like so many details that could change it.

Yeah. It’s like everyone’s perspective and Yeah. Um, okay. Expecting attendance and every pre-wedding event. Say that again? Expecting attendance at every pre-wedding event. So the brides like you have to come to the engagement party, the shower, all that.

Kendra Matthies: No, that’s a red flag to me. You can’t expect everyone to be everywhere all the time.

I think that what people lose the plot on a lot when they’re brides is thinking that. I think when you’re a bride, that is the most important thing to you. That’s what the majority of your planning is going towards for at least a year in most cases. Um, so to you, that’s like end goal, most important thing.

That’s, think of the times that you’ve been in a wedding though. Maybe if it’s like your best, best friend, but like life goes on, you have other things going on. Maybe your, maybe somebody in your bridal party or an attendant or something. Maybe they have somebody else getting married. They can’t come. Like you can’t expect people to just always, always be there.

Is it nice? Yes. But I would never hold it against somebody if they couldn’t come to something. I mean, I had people RSVP yes to my wedding. I had a very small wedding. We had like 50 people. Mm-hmm. And I had people very close to me. RSVP. Yes. And they couldn’t come because of X, Y, or Z was I like, oh, that sucks.

But I wasn’t like, oh my gosh, I’m never talking to that person again. I can’t believe they wouldn’t come. Like that’s, that’s a little bit of a red flag to me.

Christa Innis: I know. It always gets lost on me when they’re like, you must attend every single thing. My wedding’s the priority and I’m like, I realize that everyone else has lives too.

My wedding is the, like, yeah, it’s important to me, but like I don’t expect it to be the most important thing to everybody else or anybody else for that matter. No. Yeah. I mean, that’s crazy. Like I have friends that couldn’t come to the Bachelorette or the shower and I was like, right, your family, your health, your whatever you’re going through goes, it’s first.

Exactly. We’ll, we will live. Um, okay. Um, cash bars, red or green cash

Kendra Matthies: bars. Um. Yeah, I haven’t really been to a wedding where that’s been the case. So Cash Bar explained to me, just to make sure I’m understanding, that’s where you’re like paying to add alcohol? Yeah, there’s

Christa Innis: just, yeah, they don’t, they probably don’t provide any drinks.

I’ve never been to a full cash bar either. Usually at least there’s or something. But yeah, it’s just like there’s no drinks provided. I would say, um,

Kendra Matthies: I would say that’s a little bit of a red flag if it’s fully a cash bar. Like if you’re not providing like any sort of refreshments, like that would kind of be a little bit alarming.

You have to have something for somebody to drink. Um, but if it’s cash bar. Just for, I guess that’s also a little bit hard though. Like my family doesn’t really drink, so it would be like, we had nothing at my wedding. So I don’t know. I, I think that that kind of just depends on the person. I think that if your family is somebody that you are people that you know are gonna drink, um, and you know that maybe you can’t provide that much.

I mean, maybe having like a set drink or something that is free or included with the wedding, and then maybe if there’s something like extra that somebody wants, like Right. I don’t know. Yeah, I would, I’ve just not been to something like that.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And I feel like if they’re, yeah, if they’re not providing anything, like no kind of refreshment, I’m talking like even non-alcoholic.

Yeah. So if they’re not providing anything and expecting nice people to come, then sure. That’s a little bit of a red flag If they expect everybody to like pay for food and drinks once they’re there. Right. But if it’s like, oh, we’re just talking like. Your aunt prefers like this really fancy vodka, then Yeah, I think it’s a red flag that, yeah, have them pay for it.

Kendra Matthies: I totally agree. That’s exactly what I think. Board.

Christa Innis: Right, right. Doesn’t need to be an open bar or anything. Um, okay, last one. Announcing a pregnancy at the wedding.

Kendra Matthies: Oof. To me girl, that’s gonna be a red flag. That is like, unless the only time I can ever see it be okay is one, it’s the couple announcing that they’re pregnant.

Like obviously, or if it’s been super well discussed and maybe the couple has asked for this to happen there otherwise.

Christa Innis: Die.

Kendra Matthies: That’s, yes. So I probably wouldn’t do that. Yeah, yeah. No, that’s, that’s crazy To me, that’s

Christa Innis: like one of those things I didn’t even know that was a thing until I started getting story submissions.

Yeah. And the amount of times where it’s like someone wants to announce someone else’s pregnancy at the wedding, like once where I read was like the, um, mother-in-law wanted to announce the younger brothers. His girlfriends. Oh, I think I saw

Kendra Matthies: your story about that. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah, that was one. And then there was another one like last year that was like kind of similar where the couple, well they asked the couple and the couple said no, and they mom Oh, then media red

Kendra Matthies: flag.

Yeah. Yeah. The mom

Christa Innis: was still bringing in like a, the, the box to like surprise everybody with, and then still did like a mini celebration of the table even after they said, no.

Kendra Matthies: That’s wild. To me. That is up, that’s up there with like, if somebody is getting married and they’re like, Hey, photographer, my husband and I just got engaged like this week.

Could you take some engagement photos at this person’s wedding? Yes. Like it’s that level to me where it’s just a common courtesy thing to like not do that. Mm-hmm. I mean, I wouldn’t, even if I was at somebody’s like. They just graduated college. We’re having this really fun party. I wouldn’t be like, Hey guys, by the way, like, make this about me.

Like there’s moments in life where it’s not about you. Yeah. I think that’s a big thing to remember is sometimes it’s not your turn. You know what I mean? Like Yeah. It’s this person’s turn, it’s their moment to shine. And unless they are super, like, please, I want you to

Christa Innis: just let them shine.

Kendra Matthies: It’s just, it’s just rude.

It’s just rude.

Christa Innis: Yeah. We don’t need to always turn it back to us. Right,

Kendra Matthies: right.

5AM Glam or Lipstick in the Car

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Okay. All right. I’m gonna do a couple of, would you rathers and then we’ll get into our story. Okay. These are like more like makeup kind of, um, focus. Okay. Would you rather start glam at 5:00 AM or be rushing to put lipstick on in the car?

Kendra Matthies: Oh, definitely start glam at 5:00 AM I don’t like feeling rushed. I hate it. It makes me so stressed and anxious and my luck. I’m gonna like, think that I’m putting it on good and then I get out and I’m looking like the joker. Like I just, no, I would rather start earlier.

Christa Innis: My gosh. Totally. I hate, like, I, I think I said this before, but like I, when I was in a lot of weddings, I always felt like they put me at the earliest slot.

’cause they’re like, oh, we know you wake up early. That was also Preki. Um, they’re like, we know you wake up early. So I’d be like in my chair, like half asleep. But I did like just being done and then I could just like hang out with everybody. Yeah. I didn’t have to rush or worry. Like, ’cause sometimes being some of the later ones, you’re like, are we gonna have time?

Or you’re like, oh, a

Kendra Matthies: hundred percent. Yeah. And for me too, like what I like to do personally to avoid that. And if you’re a makeup artist listening, I always, let’s say they tell me they need to be done by three, we’re gonna be done by two. Like I wanna give that little bit of wiggle room for touch-ups.

Maybe there was an emotional gift that somebody was given and like they completely like, like, I wanna have time for things. People get stuck in traffic, things happen. So always give yourself a little bit of extra time. And for any brides or somebody that’s getting married, that’s listening, just because when you are getting ready on the every day, it might take you an hour and a half to do hair and makeup.

Please know, wedding time is, its whole different. Thing like it is so different. You might be thinking, wow, my makeup artist wants to start at 7:00 AM We don’t have to be done till three. That’s crazy. And then when you’re getting done, you’re like, how has the day flown by? How have we, like where did that go?

That’s what I hear 99% of the time at weddings. It is just like, whoa. That day went by so fast. Like, ah. So always give yourself a little extra time that you think, I know it’s,

Christa Innis: you don’t think of like the random person popping in to say hello and like, yes, you step by or setting up food for your brides.

You know? You just don’t think those little things. You don’t think about it running to the bathroom, oh, I forgot this in my room. Like Exactly. There’s always something. So

Kendra Matthies: something. Yes. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Um, would you rather a bridesmaid hate her makeup or refuse the look and do her own?

Kendra Matthies: Um, would I rather bridesmaid hate their makeup or when you say refuse their look and do their own, like, they just are like, I don’t want you to do my makeup.

Don’t want,

Christa Innis: yeah.

Kendra Matthies: I’d rather them do their own. Like if they’re gonna hate it the way that I do it, you don’t need me to do it. Like, if you’re good at what you’re gonna do and you’re already happy with how you do your makeup, don’t feel like you have to get your makeup done. I don’t, I would rather that, because that just puts anxiety on everybody that day.

The person getting their makeup done is gonna go into it knowing that they’re gonna hate it probably. Or just I know my features better. I’ve never liked my makeup done by somebody else. They’re gonna go into it that way. The makeup artist is gonna be thinking of all the ways that they can try to make that not happen and make the person happy just for them to not be happy in the end.

Yeah. If you know you’re somebody that you just don’t like getting your makeup done by somebody else. Just do it yourself, even if you are the bride, the groom, whoever. Like just do it yourself. It doesn’t,

Christa Innis: yeah. I feel like if you’re like super picky, like you need to just do it yourself if you know what you’re doing.

Um, yeah, know yourself in those moments. ’cause like I’m, when I’m a bridesmaid, I love getting my makeup done. I like, I, I just trust the makeup artist. I’m like, you know what you’re doing. And, but I have friends that like, they’re just very particular and they’re just good at their own makeup and they do it.

And like about knowing yourself.

Kendra Matthies: Absolutely. For myself, like I did my own makeup on my wedding day and that was because I enjoy the process of putting makeup on. I enjoy like doing it myself. But if I were somebody that didn’t enjoy that and you’re like, man, every time I do my makeup, I hate it. Get somebody do your makeup for you.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Even if it’s like, I can’t afford a makeup artist. Maybe you have a really talented friend or something that does makeup really well, it’s okay to do that too. You don’t have to. But on the flip, don’t think like we’re saying that you have to have a makeup artist. If you’re like, I’m good at what I do.

It’s not a necessity. You don’t need a makeup artist to get married. You need a officiant, you need a venue, you need a wedding dress. Those are needs, this is wants and luxuries. You don’t have to have it.

Christa Innis: Right, totally. Um, would you rather one bridesmaid be 45 minutes late or one bridesmaid be overly controlling about the schedule?

Kendra Matthies: I would definitely have somebody that’s maybe a little bit more controlling about the schedule because. I’d rather have somebody that’s on me about the times and whatnot versus somebody who is just so nonchalant than I am anxious, everything’s running behind. I’m probably gonna get blamed for the fact that things are behind, even though I didn’t do anything wrong.

I’d rather have somebody way more on me about the time, because me personally like I am. So it might not seem it if you’re any of my clients watching this now, but in that moment, I mean, what I do, and this is a little tip too, for makeup artists, for weddings, like I set my schedule. Uh, as my lock screen for a wedding.

Okay. And I’m, every couple little bit, I’m clicking it to see, to make sure that I’m good and to somebody, it just looks like I’m checking the time, but I’m really like seeing how I’m doing on time. So shoot, if somebody wants to be the little voice in my head that’s already happening when I’m doing this, like, sure, I’d rather have that than somebody be late.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I love that because yeah, it’s like when bridesmaid be a little late, but they don’t always realize how much that could push back everybody else. Especially like, what if it’s a wedding where there’s only three or four bridesmaids than you’re kind of reshuffling everybody. But it’s good to, it’s good to have that schedule.

Like when I’m, when I’ve been hired for like Day of Coordinators, I’m like on it, I’m, I’m the same as you. I’m like checking. I’m like, okay, all right. Where’s our next bridesmaid? You’re on deck when she’s done, you’re swapping like,

Kendra Matthies: because again, it goes back to the whole thing. That wedding time is its own thing.

Like it is just so different than an everyday type of thing. You have to be so scheduled because yeah, one little thing can really throw off a whole day. And I’ve had it in the past where I had a bridesmaid be super late and it almost made it to where I couldn’t do the grandma’s makeup. Like the grandma would’ve just not had makeup.

I made it work. Yeah, bride not happy with me because of the delay, but I made it work because I’m not gonna let somebody’s grandma not have makeup. That’s crazy. That would make me sad. So, yeah. Um, but yeah, it’s so easy to throw off an entire day without even realizing it because 45 minutes, me, I block out an hour for makeup.

Um, but that’s including like cleaning in between time for me to like, you know, take a drink or whatever. So it’s really more 45 minutes. So if you think about it, if you’re 45 minutes late, you’re pushing the day, a whole appointment slot back, like that is a lot of time.

The Bounced Check Wedding Nightmare

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh yeah. All right. No, that’s a, that’s a great point.

All right. Let’s just get into today’s story because they always, you always end up being a little bit longer than I think. So let’s just get into it. Okay. Um, and feel free to stop me or pause anytime if you, likewise, we just back the note. As we go. All right. I was the Maître d’ for all types of events at a golf course and country club.

Every Sunday we hosted a flat priced buffet with no alcohol for gospel groups, prayer gathering. They danced, sing, and filled the room with joy. The staff loved watching and listening to them, and we never had a single issue. We genuinely looked forward to their visit. One of the young women from the group decided she wanted her wedding there on a Sunday afternoon with the group present.

Um, I walked her through everything, the theme menu, colors, ceremony, flow, flowers, readings, dances, bar options, extra servers, sleeping arrangements for the newlyweds, backup. Well, this is a lot. Um, backup plans for the bad weather and even contingency plans for family issues. Okay, they got it all. We had the, yeah, we had the space for six hours, including the ceremony.

For comparison, the gospel group typically use the room for only two to two, and then for only two to two and a half hours on the regular Sundays. So I’m thinking they wanted to rent, they wanted them to sing at her wedding is what I’m guessing some, yeah. It’s

Kendra Matthies: sounding like she wants ’em to be very involved with the day.

Yeah. She, because it says they want the guests present that are normally there on Sundays.

Christa Innis: Yes. Okay. Okay. So she wants them to be there. Okay. They were allowed joyful and energetic, but never obnoxious. Just a genuinely happy to be a live vibe. Yeah. The first deposit to hold the date and the the first deposit to hold the date and room was paid immediately with no issues.

Over the next four to five months, the bride and groom agreed to every recommendation we made. Used all our preferred vendors, and sometimes even brought me homemade baked goods. We clicked really well. The only request they made beyond my cake recommendation was an extra tier and specific symbol to honor their deceased parents and a sibling.

We upgraded the cake at no additional charge. That’s nice. Yeah. That’s really nice. Um, as the second deposit approach, they continued adding upgrades and RSVPs were higher than expected. We needed additional servers, more food, extra tables, and more rentals overall. They also decided to move the wedding up by three weeks to the earliest Sunday we had available.

Oh. Oh. How, I’m wondering how like, how late into the planning this was because Yeah, that’s a pretty big shift. Yeah. And like schedules adding people. Okay. Okay. She said that wasn’t an issue, but it did mean we couldn’t get the exact same linen colors in time and they needed to secure an available pastor.

We agreed to keep the second deposit due date the same as the original planned and not move it up. Two weeks before the wedding, I checked in again. Everything was fully planned and it was a lot. I heard nothing back three days before the wedding. I left messages for the couple and both mothers while also confirming flowers, linens, staff, transportation, and final details the following afternoon Friday.

So they didn’t, they still haven’t heard from them. Oh my gosh. That’s, I’m like,

Kendra Matthies: it’s okay. We are like crunch time and we’ve not heard anything. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

Christa Innis: I’m locked in. I know. I’m always like, what do you do at that point where you’re constantly like calling them, emailing them, nothing? Yeah. Oh my gosh.

The following afternoon Friday, the bride’s uncle arrived with a check covering the remaining balance. My boss wasn’t thrilled, but at that point we proceeded. Wasn’t thrilled that the uncle came or that they were like.

Kendra Matthies: Yeah. ’cause I mean that payment probably would be late, I would imagine. I feel like most things don’t take payments that close.

Christa Innis: Yeah, because we’re talking, she doesn’t say when the date was, but she’s saying all of a sudden before the wedding, they still hadn’t paid, they didn’t hear anything back.

Kendra Matthies: Well, then we’re at three days before the wedding. Yeah. So we’re like close. Close. So I can see where they’re stressed. Like you’re not talking to us and it’s not you that’s bringing in the final check.

It’s some random relative, like Yeah, you never called back. Were they involved? Yeah. Were they involved with this relative before? Is this person just showing up like Yeah, I’d probably be a little frustrated as well.

Christa Innis: And I’m wondering like for venues. If you don’t get that second deposit, I’m sure they have a right to either add an extra charge or Oh, yeah.

To cancel your event or something because they’re holding all, I mean, maybe they end up losing money then, but, ’cause I’m like, where’s like the, the stickler for you have to pay us this day, or Yeah. Something happens, we lose this. You can’t have this amenity or, you know, something like that.

Kendra Matthies: Okay. Okay.

Christa Innis: Um, the wedding began at noon just as their gospel gatherings always did.

The ceremony was beautiful. While photos were being taken, I showed the mother of the bride the reception room. So it’s weird. Everything’s just like going as normal even though they Yeah. We’re just like

Kendra Matthies: going forward. Even though nobody was confirming anything. Okay. Yeah. Alright.

Christa Innis: Immediately she began tearing it apart.

The mother of the bride tearing apart the reception room. The linen colors were wrong. The tables were too far from the windows where a large buffet had been set up overlooking the golf course. The dance floor was too large. Even though most guests danced at their tables, the cake was missing a tier and it was crooked.

Or she’s saying it wasn’t. These are all the things that the mother Earth bride was saying. Okay. And it was crooked. It wasn’t, the lighting was too dim and felt solemn. The servers were dressed too formally. One server hunched too much. She didn’t like my dress. She’s

Kendra Matthies: talking to the, your server has bad posture, okay?

I get being upset in certain things, and we’ll hear more of the story. I understand. Okay. You don’t, what if that person has a back issue? You dunno. Why are we going after the servers themselves? Like, that’s kind of crazy to me. It’s wild. That’s wild. Okay.

Christa Innis: Yes. You don’t know anything about this person. Yeah.

What in the world make that comment? Like, they’re doing their jobs, aren’t they? They’re, they’re like helping. Right. Like, oh my God. And then then to say she didn’t like her dress, the person doing it, she’s saying she didn’t like my dress. It clashed. So the person that sent in this email that runs these letters?

Yeah. Can you imagine? I’d be like, okay. Like, sorry. Right.

Kendra Matthies: That’s what I chose to wear. That’s wild. Okay. Bizarre.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. The flowers were too sparse. Uh, too sparse. She, there were too many ribbons. She was irate. I was completely dumbfounded. And that’s a problem too. Well, I mean it’s, there’s so many problems with this, right?

Thinking that she has some power coming in. It’s like she’s not the client. Yeah. But it weird that she, they just stopped hearing from the bride and groom and then the uncle just comes in.

Kendra Matthies: Right. And it’s weird to me too, that, I mean, weddings that I’ve been to my wedding, we very much discussed like what the layout was going to be, how things were gonna look.

And I know that they said, like, we did let them know that the linens wouldn’t be able to be the same because of whatever. So they were aware of that. Maybe this mom isn’t aware of the change. Okay. But also what, who are, who are you? Like, I get you’re the mom, but you’re also like not the deciding factor.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I feel like it was something where. The mom wasn’t as involved as she wanted to be or something.

Kendra Matthies: Yeah.

Christa Innis: And it sounds like, like the person that wrote this, I always say it’s a little biased ’cause she’s the one that sent it to us. Right. So I’m like hearing her perspective, but I’m like, sounds like she knows what she’s talking about.

She’s done all these weddings and events before. Right. So I’m sure they’re following the contract, following the plan. The mom’s, she’s like, I don’t like this. This is not what I envisioned. Or she’s embarrassed because she wants her family to see something different. Or I,

Kendra Matthies: that’s just so, it’s so silly to me too because let’s say all of these things are the genuine, like the bride comes in and ends up saying the exact same thing.

Where have you been? You haven’t like been communicating with us to like even know, maybe the original discussion was that there were gonna be this many ribbons, or maybe the discussion was that the flowers were gonna be how they’re gonna be if you’re not having. ’cause it’s sounding to me like the venue is providing most, if not all of the setup.

Mm-hmm. So it’s not like they’re having to coordinate multiple different vendors. It’s sounding like it is the venue that’s doing this. So how that communication between the couple and the venue itself got so lax. Mm-hmm. It is strange to me, like, yeah. Okay. I just, I need to

Christa Innis: hear more. I need to Very on.

Okay. It says she stormed off and I went back to business as usual. This was a $16,000 wedding. Absolutely. All out. That seems low to me, but I don’t know. I feel, oh yeah, I hear golf courses. At first I was like

Kendra Matthies: 16, but then I’m like, actually no, that’s like pretty low. Yeah. At least in this area. Michigan. I know.

I don’t know where this

Christa Innis: was, but yeah, I feel like golf course weddings, like when we were just kinda like, just kind of getting ideas. I feel like golf courses were like the most expensive ’cause it was like, oh yeah, resort vibes, everything included. And so I feel like those were like at least 50 if not way higher.

Kendra Matthies: Yeah, no, I agree. Yeah. I don’t know.

Christa Innis: Um, okay, so it said, um, intros finished first stance is done, speech is complete. Dinner music began, the buffet was destroyed, completely cleaned out. So it was destroyed in a good way. I think she means

Kendra Matthies: Okay. Like demolished the food. They ate it all. Yes. Okay. That’s what I’m gathering.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, shiny. Yeah. Um, shiny Cha-cha chafers chafer. Yeah. I’m like, okay, I was gonna pronounce that wrong. And all music continued, some dancing followed, and then the mother of the groom approached me. She said the food was awful. The servers were slow, people were spiking drinks at a dry wedding.

Apparently sneaking alcohol from another bar into the building. The dance floor was a slippery hazard. The linens were dry after people ate, or No? The linens were dirty after people ate. My gosh. It didn’t take a genius to see where this was headed. The hints for a massive discount started shortly after.

Oh, here we go. Oh

Kendra Matthies: no, they don’t wanna pay. They don’t want to pay. They don’t want to pay. Hopefully they’ve already cashed that check, girl. And it didn’t bounce like this.

Christa Innis: What it’s for, the Dirty Dan or the Dirty Linens thing reminded me. I saw this thing where an influencer was trying to do something or she was getting free, something free money.

She was at a restaurant and she filmed the floor and was like the place was dirty. And then the owners came out and they were like, she was there right after like a 12 party or a 12 person party just got up and left and she filmed right under the table. So it’s just all about like if you’ve never worked in a restaurant or,

Kendra Matthies: yeah.

That’s wild to me. The linens are dirty. I mean, aren’t they there to like. Get used and like to protect like the tables and to like look nice. Like, yeah. I mean, your wedding dress is gonna be dirty by the end of the night, by the, like the bottom of it. You know, you’re using the item.

Christa Innis: Yes. That’s wild. And again, saying servers were slow, that you’re gonna, you’re gonna complain about that.

Kendra Matthies: That’s wild to me. Okay. And clearly the food wasn’t that bad if everybody ate it all.

Christa Innis: Yep. Yep. That, oh my gosh. Then I heard screams, oh my god. Sure enough, the cake was on the floor. They claimed a server knocked it over while rushing for plates. She did not. And no, this was 2001. Okay, there we go. So it was 2001.

That’s price. So much has changed since then. So much. 16,000, 2001, I could get now.

Kendra Matthies: Okay, that makes sense. Yeah,

Christa Innis: she did not, and no, this was 2001, no cameras. Suddenly the older women erupted into crocodile tears, wailing and chanting praises. They cried that the souls wait, what? The souls of those honored on the cake had been desecrated.

So now they were not saying, now they’re saying because the server knocked it over. It was like an insult to the, the loved ones that were, the cake was for there.

Kendra Matthies: So let’s say that a server did knock it over. That is a. You are jumping over the Grand Canyon, my friend, to say that that is a disrespect on a deceased loved one.

Yeah. I can see somebody going up to the cake, taking whatever that symbolic thing was, chucking it at the wall. Like, okay, yeah, you’re being disrespectful to that. Mm-hmm. If something accidentally gets knocked over, my first thought would not be, oh, my family members, I can’t believe. Like, ah, like that, that is a accusatory stretch.

That is a big stretch. Wow. Wow, wow, wow.

Christa Innis: And by everything that we’ve learned so far, I’m like, they’re just looking for all of this to like add up. They’re, they’re thinking of all the dollar so that they can get back basically.

Kendra Matthies: Absolutely. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. She said the accusations went on and on. Eventually the night wound down, the room was left trashed, then came the demand.

They wanted their money back. Gosh. Oh no. That, uh, like even when I hear stories like this about like someone going into a restaurant, and you can tell from the beginning they complain about every little thing. I mean, I used to work in the restaurant industry, I stopped all the time. Yeah. You see it, right?

It’s like, you know, the second those people sit down, these are someone pe someone that’s gonna complain, they want a discount. And I was more than happy, like if something was wrong or if something, you know. Oh, for sure. Even a discount. I’ll take it off completely. Yeah. But you can tell right away when it’s someone that’s gonna complain about everything.

Even like, they’ll drink, like they’ll Dr. Pepper or, or Sprite and they’ll be like, something’s off in this. Something’s off. Yeah, okay, we’ll get it checked. Or it’s a brand new, you know, anything would be wrong. Right? So when it’s something like this, like a wedding, $16,000 and they’re gonna be like, we want our money back.

Kendra Matthies: No, and I, I can see it being, and maybe you’ve had this experience too, I can also kind of get the vibes of when I’m gonna have a client ask me for a refund. And it’s always, it always seems to be the ones that I am the most lenient with or the ones that I try to give like extra things to, to be nice that end up coming back and expecting more and then wanting a discount because of X, Y, and Z.

Reason I, yeah. So if they say you give an

Christa Innis: inch, they take a mile or something, those kind

Kendra Matthies: 1000%, that is definitely the case. So sounding like that is this case? Yeah. Okay. How does this end?

Christa Innis: Um, okay. It says that’s when we learned they had assumed they were paying the same rate. As the usual two hour Sunday buffet lunches, despite having a signed contract stating otherwise.

Why would you not look at that and just assume, like,

Kendra Matthies: and is it really that they assumed or they thought that because they were such a come every Sunday group that they could just talk their way into it and get that discount after the fact? Right. But you should never sign a con. I’m looking at my camera at this moment.

I know I’ve been looking all around. Right. Never sign a contract for an amount, assuming that it’s not going to be that amount. Yeah. That is

Christa Innis: crazy. To me, contract is a, it’s locking you in. It’s literally telling you what you owe when you pay it. Like yes. Wow. I, I don’t understand how you could assume like that’s just.

Um, I don’t wanna say ignorance, but that’s being, being extremely naive to be like, yeah, oh, okay. I, I’ll we come here every Sunday for a two hour of buffet. I’m like, that’s way different than a wedding.

‘I Know the Owner’ Energy

Kendra Matthies: That is way different from a wedding that you’re getting linens, you’re having people catering your food, you’re having florals, you’re having sounding like music maybe was even provided, like what they were listing all of the stay for the bride and groom for this case, like they did a lot.

So to me, for them to just expect that to be the same as a little buffet that they do every Sunday is insanity. Yeah. And it’s sounding very entitled to me. Like that’s the vibe that I get. Mm-hmm. That they just probably thought going into this. Like I said that, oh, well we come here every Sunday, we should be allowed.

It’s giving, well, I know the owner vibe. Yes. You know what I mean? Like that’s the vibe that it gives and it’s like. Okay, cool.

Christa Innis: You’re like, so do I.

Kendra Matthies: So do I. And this is still how much it is like, yeah.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. I’ve seen so many skits about that where someone’s like, well, I know the owner. And they’re like, okay, well get in line all these people.

Kendra Matthies: favorite thing when that would happen to me is they would be like, well, I know the owner, can’t you just gimme a discount? And I’d be like, I know my dad too. Like my dad owned the restaurant that I worked at, so that always killed me. I’d be like, yeah, same

Christa Innis: like, yeah. And I also like anyone that says that like wouldn’t, if you’re going to your friend’s restaurant or someone you knows, restaurant, wouldn’t you want to contribute to a small business or help them out?

And that’s

Kendra Matthies: the thing too. I have never been in a situation that I can think of that I’m ever going to a friend’s business or going to have a friend do anything for me that I am like asking for a discount or I’m expecting a discount. I mean. I had a friend do, she’s my hairstylist, do my hair for my wedding.

I still obviously like paid her. I still tipped her well, like just ’cause she’s done my hair forever and we’ve been friends for however long. Like that would be super weird of me to just like assume that that would be free or discounted or something. So, yeah. That’s the vibe I’m getting with this though, is that they assumed that,

Christa Innis: I’ve always noticed it’s the people you’re, that are more acquaintances or know you through people that do it.

Yeah. It’s never like a real friend. Yeah. ’cause I don’t, I don’t think I’ve said this on the podcast before, but like years ago, so like I do art like, well again, this was Preki. I haven’t done a lot of art in a while, but I used to do like charcoal art drawings and I’ve done a lot of stuff for weddings, like art-wise, like creating like trees with a thumbprint, whatever, all that stuff.

Yeah. Anyway, so years ago I was like a guest of a guest at a wedding. So like my friend’s old friend, like neighbor was, was getting married. She’s like, you guys should come with us. It was a very laid back wedding. More the merrier. Yeah. The week before, the bride was like, can you make me a guest book tree thing?

And I was like, so nice. Like, I’m like early twenties at the time. Like no boundaries. Just one people pleased and I’m like, normally I probably would’ve charged like a fair price. Probably would’ve been. A hundred to $200 because it takes, it takes a while. Yeah. But I was like, okay, maybe I’ll charge her a little bit less.

She goes, just don’t get me a gift. And I’m like, oh, okay. Like I already had a gift that I bought. Yeah. And I was like,

Kendra Matthies: okay.

Christa Innis: And then literally I started, learned my lesson, but then a like a year later I was like doing charcoal drawings for people and um, you know, people are, you know, paying whatever. She never paid me to this day.

It was like someone, she, like, I went there, I went and brought it to the house. Like a whole family charcoal drawing. It took Yeah. Hours. Hours. And I’m like, I broke, just recently Graduated college kid. Yeah. And um, she was like, oh, I don’t have cash on me. Like, just tell me what it is and I’ll like send you money later.

Never did. And I like, it’s so dumb now, but in my mind I’m like, that’s that kind of person that just expects a discount. Yeah. ’cause they know you somehow.

Kendra Matthies: Yeah. No, I will say like. I have been a bridal makeup artist for 10 years now, and it’s always the person who was randomly in my English class freshman year of high school that’s like, Hey, girl, I’m getting married.

Um, what are your rates? And me sending them, whoa. Well if you want my, uh, pricing guide, feel free to email my assistant. She’ll get that sent over to you. Oh my gosh, no girl. Like, you can just send them in here. Like, it’s fine, like Facebook Messenger. And I’m like, no, it’s easier for me to keep things, you know, compact.

And they’re like, oh, well, is there any way that I could get like a friend and family discount since we know each other and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. I’ve had that happen so many times, and I’m like, honestly, I don’t. I, I don’t know, like anything about you, like, yeah, how, how much friends are we do it. I was going through it when I was in high school, like my junior, my sophomore to end of junior year is when that first hip surgery stuff was happening.

And like they say that pain erases memory or whatever sometimes, and that’s why like I’ve heard, oh well people who have uh, kids might be UPT to have kids again, even if the first birth was like awful because they just like forget the pain or whatever. Which I don’t know how true that is, but I will say, yeah, like there are huge lapses of my memory from that time of my life where I probably.

Like if I saw you on the street, random person in my Facebook messenger thing, like I probably wouldn’t even know that was you. Mm-hmm. So why would you think that I would wanna give you a discount? Like that’s just wild to me. Well, they’re the same

Christa Innis: ML N people that want you to join their team. Girl that the truth.

Hey girl, from middle school, we never talked, but I’m during this, I started this new ml, it’s gonna save your life. And I’m like, yeah,

Kendra Matthies: well, and I get that all the time too. Maybe you do too. Now that you have a following is like online and everything is the amount of people who are like, you should do this because you already have the following.

You could easily make millions and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. And I’m like, I’m honestly like so good. Thanks though. Like I don’t, so good. Thank you. Like I, I’ve actually never been more Okay. Not doing that. Like, I don’t

Christa Innis: want to do that. Like, like more the reason to not do it. Thank you. Yeah. And

Kendra Matthies: the amount of people too, and maybe you’ve had this as well, that are like, could you use my song in the background of your video?

And they’re like a random person from freshman year of high school that has like a SoundCloud or whatever it’s called. I’ve

Christa Innis: not had that. That’s what I get,

Kendra Matthies: that I get people, oh, can I collab with you? I need to get more views on my stuff because I do X, Y, and Z. And it’s like a random person I haven’t talked to since I was in like, like I was 13.

Like, I’m like, no, I don’t know you anymore. Like you are just because you knew me at a blip of my life, you do not just have access to me 24 7. Like, that’s just, that’s wild to me. Yeah. Anyways, I tangented a little bit, but No,

Christa Innis: we bolted because I feel like it’s such, it’s such a common thing. Like, so when we read something like this, I’m like, oh.

I know that person, if you’re listening, don’t do that. Yeah. Don’t do that to people. Always offer to pay full price for friends. Yeah. Family. And then if later they wanna come back and be like, you know what? I wanna throw in this for free because you’re my friend then. Awesome. Yeah. But

Kendra Matthies: yeah, I mean, for me, and they probably don’t even know I do this, but like my dad’s employees, I give them my friend and family discount because they work for my dad.

They probably don’t even know that I do that, but it’s something that I add on. But if, but it to me, if it was like a new employee of my dad and they’re like, can I get a discount? I’d probably be a little bit more like, like what? That’s odd. Like, don’t do that. Like, don’t expect things, I guess is what I, what we’re trying to say I feel.

Yeah.

Christa Innis: Ab, absolutely. So she says, um, so it ends with saying, so says, despite having signed the contract, stating otherwise mm-hmm. No one tipped some servers were even in tears. Others finally snap back verbally. And at one point we, and at that point we allowed it. So I’m wondering if this is all just happening right there, because I’m wondering why the servers were involved in that.

Because I would kinda be like, servers go home and then maybe the next week we’re, they’re like trying to demand money. But I don’t know if this is, this sounds like later on in that night it’s

Kendra Matthies: happening. Like in the night you’re like, which I will say, and this is maybe a controversial thing, but I don’t ever expect a tip.

And I know that in some different things it’s a little bit more com. Like it’s common to do it. Like I probably always would tip a server. Mm-hmm. But if I were, you know, a venue or whatever, you should always have your pricing be to the point where if something like this happens and nobody’s getting tipped, your server isn’t in tears because they didn’t feel like they made enough money, it should still be like mm-hmm.

The base rate should still be good.

Christa Innis: I agree with you.

Kendra Matthies: To me, and this is how, and it’s different. I will say if you’re going out to eat, totally different, totally different. Because I know that minimum wage is like $2 or something, and you’re living off of your tips in that. Like you’re supplementing with your tips in that way.

I would imagine, and maybe it’s wrong and if it is, please correct us. I don’t know. But I would imagine that when you’re working as a server for an event like this, you’re probably getting more of like an hourly base rate that’s like less than or more than the $2 minimum wage, because this is more of like an event.

So yeah, I would imagine that that should be more. Common.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And I, I can’t speak obviously for all events, but I used my, my job in college, I worked at a hotel and I worked in the bar and like I was a cocktail server, but we obviously hosted events and so there were banquet servers and from my memory, they made like $11 an hour, like they were serving at weddings and stuff.

Whereas our actual like restaurant servers were making like five, six. Yeah. They were more inclined to get tipped. So as far as I remember, in banquets you don’t typically get tipped as a server. Yeah. Maybe bartenders will get like cash. Yeah. I can

Kendra Matthies: see, I can see bartenders, but even, yeah, me thinking of any time I’ve attended a wedding, I don’t think that I’ve ever like tipped the person that’s bringing me the plated meal.

Right. Or serving the buffet. I can’t, I don’t like think that. So to play devil as advocate on that one little, little speck, I will say. Yeah. I do think that the tipping thing. That’s, yeah, not, that’s not something that you should just expect. Like even me as a makeup artist, I get probably like 75% of my client’s tip, but it really doesn’t bother me either way because I make sure that my pricing is to where I feel like I’m comfortable after expenses or whatever, that I made money.

I don’t, you shouldn’t be relying on your tips, I guess is what I’m saying, right. For this type of a job Servers. Yeah. In the real everyday you’re working at like Bob Evans or something. I understand. Tip your servers and stuff. Yeah. I just, yes, please tip your normal servers. But I don’t know if that’s common practice for Yeah.

Christa Innis: It makes me wonder if they didn’t typically do this kind of thing. Yeah, that’s good. Yeah, but they sound

Kendra Matthies: so, they sound so like prepared for it though. Yeah. I don’t know. Yeah. Anyways, so little tidbit. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Interesting. They didn’t get tipped and they’re crying, so, and then it says, others finally snap back verbally and they allowed it.

So that seems kind of weird to me too, to allow the servers to snap at the customer.

Kendra Matthies: I understand when tensions are really high and situations are really heated to get caught in the heat of the moment. But as a, whether you’re the manager, whether you are the owner, whatever it is, your responsibility to make your uh, employees, Hey guys, take a step back.

I’m gonna handle it. You have to be the one to handle the situation. You can’t because all that’s gonna do is crave more and more heat. And more heat. More heat, and that’s, everybody’s just gonna be mad. So yeah. Allowing your employees to be. Even in a position where they’re feeling like they need to go back and forth like that, like once you start to notice that the heat is coming on a little bit, Hey guys, take a step back.

Hey, how can I help you? What’s, what’s the problem? You shouldn’t put your employee in that position because I know that weddings that I’ve been to a lot of the times, the servers, they are like in their late teens, early twenties. That’s a lot to put on someone young. Like that’s a lot. Yeah. So I feel like that’s another thing I would interject in is in this situation it would’ve maybe been beneficial.

I know we don’t know how this ends yet, but to have the employees kind of step aside and you handle it one person, because if you’re yelling at a bunch of different people, nobody’s getting their point across. Nobody’s listening.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. And it sounds like at this point, the, the tips, at least of their concerns, they might not even wanna pay for anything else.

Yeah. Um, so it says, come Monday the check bounced. So no, they didn’t cash the check. I’m wonder, oh, it makes me wonder, oh wait, there’s another paragraph, so lemme read it first. Okay. Says their head pastor called to inform us they would not be paying. He warned that if we pursued the matter, the congregation would countersue, claiming we intentionally sabotaged a young, naive, God-fearing couple’s wedding under the guise of miscommunication, even though they signed a contract

Kendra Matthies: that is, whoa.

Okay. Sorry.

Christa Innis: Oh, she says when it was actually reckless discrimination and somehow they won.

Kendra Matthies: Wait, there was a lawsuit and they won.

Christa Innis: It sounds like either She doesn’t say there was definitely a lawsuit. She just says he warned that if we pursued it, they would countersue and then just ends with. They won.

So I’m wondering if there was, they did sue them. ’cause they were like, we, we didn’t get paid.

Kendra Matthies: Whoa. First off, how any judge is letting that win over a signed contract is bonkers to me. Mm-hmm. Um, okay. I need to get into my business owner mind for a second here. Yeah. Why, why allowing. Okay. Thinking that it’s 2001.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. We’re talking 25 years ago. Yeah. I feel old. I see 2001. I’m like, oh, it was like 10 years ago. 25 years ago. I’m like,

Kendra Matthies: I was, I was, I’m 28 so I was like, three what? Right. Two or three, like, um, okay. Wow. Anyways, but like I know things have updated, things have changed a lot in those 25 years, but I. I think that it’s a little bit crazy to accept just a check from a random person and not try to immediately cash it.

I get that. Maybe it was, they said it was three days before, so if it’s a Monday, it would’ve been a Friday. Okay, but

Christa Innis: you think they waited till the banks were closed so they couldn’t cash it? Maybe,

Kendra Matthies: but at that point, I’m sorry, I’m, I’m needing a cashier’s check. I’m needing like a money order or something.

Like I need it to be more obvious that the funds are there, especially if communication has been so lax where I haven’t even gotten to talk to my client in weeks. Yeah, that’s, that’s wild to me. What I would say nowadays, me personally, if I’m accepting a check from a client, it has to be like a cashier’s check or something like that.

Like I am not accepting just a check because. It has the potential to bounce. Mm-hmm. And you are still, especially in this situation when there’s so much involved makeup, obviously that sucks for me. Maybe I was looking, maybe I just replenished a lot in my kit and this was money that I thought was coming that I’m going to be able to balance things out again.

But venues, especially what it’s sounding like this one provides, you still have to pay people. Like you still have Yeah. Things that have to be paid for. And now that that’s bounced, like whoa.

Christa Innis: And I’m wondering how much that first deposit was for Like, usually I feel like when I got married it was like the first check was like 25%.

Yeah. Then it was like 50 ma. I don’t know. So I like, it does like little increments. Yeah. So I’m like, that’s not gonna cover their food or No. Like they ate all the food. That’s right. And they’re gonna like live with themselves. Knowing that they, they scam these people. Yeah. The, the, I should make it clear the people getting married, the families getting married.

Right, right. Scam the venue because they knew what they were doing. Because no one signs a contract thinking it’s gonna be, oh, we do a two hour buffet here. It’s the same as a wedding. Hey, do this, this, this, this, this, this, and this. For us, it’s gonna be the same.

Kendra Matthies: I guess I’m also confused who signed this contract?

Was it the bride and groom? Was it who signed this? Because why does the head pastor at their church get to be involved in this lawsuit at all?

Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s a great point. Why is he a part of this discussion?

Kendra Matthies: Yeah, that doesn’t matter. Like, that’s him

Christa Innis: being like the, using like the god like hierarchy of like, oh, you use this, this very religious family, and you’re, you’re making them look bad, so don’t you do dare do that.

So it’s almost like him being like, I’m a pastor. Let me. Say it so they, which

Kendra Matthies: why is a pastor doing that? Yeah. You’re

Christa Innis: not a part of the family. You didn’t pay didn’t, you’re

Kendra Matthies: not in the contract. Didn’t pay. Yeah. That’s so weird to me. And if this did go to court and they were able to, like, again, how did a judge, why is that being allowed?

Why is the, why is the pastor of a church that they go to get, to be the deciding say of whether a contract between somebody and a venue was a scam or not?

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Kendra Matthies: That’s just,

Christa Innis: wow. Yeah. So I kind of wonder if, like, if we read it the other way, if she’s just saying they won, basically, like we didn’t, we just went along with it.

We didn’t like try to sue them or like take any step further because he scared us basically. Then I could see that too.

Kendra Matthies: I can see that, but also like as a business, you’re

Christa Innis: out,

Kendra Matthies: you, you have a contract for a reason and if you’re not gonna stick with your policies and your contract and the things that are in there, what’s the point of having I have it.

Yeah. Yeah. And don’t get me wrong, there’s been instances in the past for me where I have made exceptions to something that’s in the contract, but it’s normally because I’m trying to be accommodating of somebody. I will say that’s tightened up a lot because of situations like this where I’ve give an inch and they take a mile.

But I just, I just don’t see how that hap like, so much went wrong with this. Yeah. And so much that I think that this business, and I hope that if they’re still around, that they learn from this, um. I mean, communication needs to be better. Their, what happens if you stop communicating with me needs to be better.

Their payment processes hopefully are better and hopefully they have more solid contracts or confidence in their contracts that should something like this happen again, it’s worth fighting for because wow, that was a lot.

Christa Innis: When people complain about like rules and stuff, it’s, it’s because of people like this.

This is why contracts have to be as as they are, is because there’s people that take advantage and now they have to be super clear. You have to cover every single instance because of people like this. Yeah. ’cause they don’t try to scam the crap outta you.

Kendra Matthies: If you are somebody that is getting married or you are going to be entering into a contract for whatever reason, read what you’re signing, please don’t just blindly sign and then claim ignorance, because nowadays I just cannot see if this went to court nowadays that that would’ve held up at all for the client’s favor.

Like I could not see that happening. No way. Um, so be mindful of what you’re signing and on the flip vendors or whoever is sending out the contracts, make sure that you feel confident in the things that are in your contract, that you feel that you could back those things up. Consult with an attorney.

Don’t just write something down and have somebody sign it. Make sure it is like a legal contract. Um, yeah, because this type of stuff happens and. Me personally as a random big sister business owner. Advice to you too. If you’re a makeup artist or a hairstylist or somebody that, let’s say you have a season that you go through and now here’s the next one.

Revisit that contract at the end of the season. What happened in that year that you don’t want to happen again? Mm-hmm. Put it into your contract so that it doesn’t happen again and go forward. You might have, like you are saying, you might have people be like, why is this so long? Or Why does this even need to be specified?

You don’t have to explain yourself to those clients, but you can say, if you want to say anything at all, while everything that’s in the contract is there for a reason. Mm-hmm. Um, yeah. You have to protect yourself as a business owner and as a consumer. Signing contracts. Protect yourself too. If you don’t know what a contract is saying.

If you don’t know the legal mumbo jumbo. You don’t have to, nobody is forcing you to sign anything. Yes. You can consult with somebody if you need help before signing anything, even if it’s just asking the business to clarify what this means, because Yeah, don’t sign into something that you don’t know.

Yeah. Because either one of you, it could come back and bite you.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And and most, most places now, like you said, are not gonna be like, oh, you didn’t read it. Mm. They’re gonna be like, too bad you signed this. Yeah. So,

Kendra Matthies: yeah. I mean, I’ve had to do that multiple times where we’ve had to send screenshots or we’ve copied the portion of the contract that applies to X, Y, or Z situation and send it to that client and say, well then the contract that you signed, this is what it says.

And you have to leave with confidence with that. You have to say, well, this is what you signed, and they can come back and counter, but. This is what you signed. Yeah.

Christa Innis: It makes me think too, kind of like looking back at the beginning that there were so many different parties involved and I think this is why a lot of places too are like, we only work with the bride and groom, or we only work with a couple getting married because I feel like they probably, the young girl comes in from the group, she’s really excited.

They’re like, yep, this sounds great. She’s the one that talks with them. They signed the contract, she probably pays the first deposit. Sounds like, yeah. It says the bride and groom agree. They pay everything. No issues. Then other people are getting involved, but maybe the moms start seeing it and they’re like, yeah, whoa.

How are we gonna pay for this? Um, ’cause that’s, I think that’s why there was that radio silence, right? They’re like starting to worry about the cost. Then this random uncle comes in. Yeah. And either he was planning on paying for it the whole time, or he goes, wait guys, I’ve got an idea. You know what I’m saying?

Like, was this a plan the whole time? Part of me thinks yes. He’s like, I’m gonna come in. They’re not gonna ask me questions, so they don’t know me. I don’t know about the wedding. Bring this check in. Oh, it’s covered. We’re good. We’re gonna get our wedding. And then you guys come in hot and right. Want.

Kendra Matthies: Yeah, because

Christa Innis: there’s people that do this like for a living.

Kendra Matthies: Oh yeah. I mean, like I said, my dad owns a restaurant. There’s people that we have on the do not let reorder list because they’ve had multiple, and multiple and multiple times where they call back and complain that something is wrong. And to the point where we would like red label them maybe like, Hey, if they call, make sure that you are so precise and confident that everything going into this order is exactly right.

And they would still call back and say, X, Y, or Z happened. For example, and this is talking on my dad’s half for a little bit, but he had a customer that would constantly complain about something being wrong with the pizza. The toppings weren’t right. The, my dad owns a pizza place. The toppings weren’t right.

The cheese had slid to the side by the time that the delivery driver got it there, um, it was burn, it was too cold, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So finally my dad was working one day and it was just him and the delivery driver, and he makes the pizza. He knows that this person is a chronic complainer. Mm-hmm.

So he is on it. Yeah, just him in the building delivery driver. Nobody else makes the pizza, sends it on its way. Of course, like five minutes later, 10 minutes later, he gets a call from that person and they’re complaining, well, what’s wrong? There is a massive blonde hair in my pizza. My dad said there’s a long blonde hair.

Okay. Um, are you sure it’s not yours? No, it can’t be mine. Everybody in my family has brown hair. Okay. Um, if I send the delivery driver back, would you give him the pizza and the hair that is in that so that we can figure out where this is coming from? Oh, well, um, I mean we already ate it. We ate around it, but like, this is ridiculous.

And my dad goes, you know what’s also really funny, the delivery driver and I are both bald and nobody else is working today. So they stopped ordering after that. But it’s just so funny. And come to find out, I mean, I did a little bit of Facebook stalking their family’s all blonde. Like, what are you talking about?

That family had blonde hair, like. So it’s just funny, but yeah, it does happen like all the time and in so many different industries that people will just try to get away with scamming you and mm-hmm. You have to protect yourself as a business owner. Like you just, ugh. Yeah. I feel bad for when things like this happen though.

I will say, like we were saying throughout this, there were definitely learning moments from this. Mm-hmm. Um, you know, management wise or whatever, and policy wise, but I think that maybe it, from the sounds of it, maybe this was kind of a newer thing for them and they just didn’t have those policies or whatever in place yet.

Yeah. I think that this is us seeing what kind of happens to a lot of professionals where you have something like this happen, which. Builds those standards and things like that for it to not happen again. So I think we might have seen the beginning of this golf courses event planning. They’ve been real

Christa Innis: strict now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which sucks. You have to learn that way. Losing $16,000 and then some. Yeah. ’cause they said they kept adding on all these extras so. Hopefully this was a learning That’s so awful moment for them. But think about the, the couple that got married. Your, your wedding was built on a lie.

Kendra Matthies: A lie.

That’s really wild. And like bad juju. Like why would you want that? Yeah. I’m curious to know, are they still married?

Christa Innis: I know, I was, I was thinking that too. I’m like, I could not, like your kids are, or your kids or family one day is asking about your wedding and you’re like, oh yeah, it was at this place. Do you think they like, lie about it?

Like, oh, it was amazing. Yeah, they loved it. Oh, it was ter you know, like, ’cause if it had all the things they wanted, I don’t know. And they never specified either if it was the bride and groom refusing to pay, or if it was the moms coming in right saying they’re not gonna pay. Um, so it makes me wonder maybe it was like a fake account or like a the Yeah.

Opened up a new account and was like, okay, we’re gonna write a check. Huh. So many questions. It’s, I love, love getting

Kendra Matthies: vendor

Christa Innis: stories, but I also like am like, oh, I don’t like there, there’s so much missing. Right? I

Kendra Matthies: wish I could call them and be like, okay, wait, so yeah, what happened?

Christa Innis: I know. Oh my gosh. That was wild.

That

Kendra Matthies: was real.

Wedding Confessions & Regrets

Christa Innis: Well, I always like to end these with, as I shake my whole computer right now. I was like to end these with confessions people send me on Instagram. So here we go. This is about biggest wedding regrets.

Kendra Matthies: Ooh,

Christa Innis: that’s a good one.

Kendra Matthies: Okay.

Christa Innis: Yeah. This one says, um, letting my friend declare herself my maid of honor.

It shouldn’t have been her. I, I hear that a lot and I always wonder how that happens. ’cause if that was a friend to like someone to me saying like, oh, I’m your maid of honor, and they weren’t, I would, I would probably just laugh and just move on. How do they themselves?

Kendra Matthies: I definitely have heard this a lot from my clients that, oh yeah, this person kind of made themself my maid of honor.

Like I was gonna ask them to be a bridesmaid, but I really wanted this person to be my maid of honor. I think what happens a lot of the time is you get people pleaser brides that don’t want to offend anybody. This person probably means a lot to them. Maybe just not in the, I think they should be made of honor way, but I think that it’s hard when they’re trying to make sure that everybody’s happy.

They don’t want to start wedding drama. Especially when it comes to bridesmaids, like you’re usually picking that out pretty early in the wedding planning process. Like, yeah, who wants to start that drama? But I will say, if you are somebody that recently got engaged or you’re just announcing bridal party members and somebody’s trying to assert that, I think that.

It’s really important and in the long run better to just be clear right away. And I know that a lot of people like to do those bridesmaids boxes or things like that where they’re asking people, um, definitely make sure that you give yourself time between announcing the engagement and, and picking your bridesmaids that you kind of like have everything so you can quickly do that so that this doesn’t happen.

Yeah. ’cause I think that it’s when there’s that gap that people can just assume and then push their way into it. Um mm-hmm. Yeah. I think it’s important. Like if you’re announcing that you’re engaged, maybe within a week or two you’re asking people, and maybe that’s a big turnaround. I don’t know. It’s a little bit hard if you don’t know the engagement’s coming, but Right.

I do think like it’s important to have a list and roster in the back of your mind. If you’re knowing within a year I’m probably gonna be getting engaged to like you, you or I’m gonna be getting engaged, like you should probably have somewhat of a roster. See? Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Because even if you don’t have like the bridesmaid boxes ready or whatever you’re gonna do, you can at least be like, oh, you know, I actually, my sister or my friend over here, or Yeah, whatever.

Yeah. It’s just gonna, is being that person.

Kendra Matthies: And it might be awkward, like it probably will be awkward, those conversations, but I’d rather you have a conversation early on and it be a little bit awkward than to be submitting that you regret it to us. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yes. Because then you’re giving in and then you’re making it their day.

Yeah. Not completely, I get that. But like you’re still like. They’re gonna have their way with whatever. Oh, gonna be these bride. Like what does it, what, where does it end? Right? We’re gonna have these bridesmaid dresses. ’cause I like these best for my body. Right? Well wait, you’re, you weren’t even supposed to be the maid of honor and then you’re gonna have this resentment, I feel like.

Kendra Matthies: Exactly. No, I 1000% agree.

Christa Innis: Um, let’s see, this says letting my mother-in-law add over 40 guests to the list, which meant cutting down our friends list.

Kendra Matthies: Ooh. So I personally told like family members, like they were allowed X amount of people that they could invite. But I also made it clear, like I still wanted it to be people that were like in my life.

Like I wouldn’t want my mom to invite like a random person from our church that knew me when I was three. Like, that would be kind of odd. Um. I definitely think you have to kind of go into things like that, like that, where you’re giving like a, Hey, so so-and-so’s gonna have this many people, I’m gonna have this many people, his family’s gonna have this many people.

You guys can have this many people. And that’s how we’re reaching capacity. Like I think that you have to be very clear with those things from the get go.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. Especially if it seems like someone that everybody’s their best friend or everyone’s their friend. Right. Just give like a little limit. Be like, okay, you can tell me 20 people.

Right? Yeah. And then if they give you 20 and they’re like, Hey, I also wanna invite so and so, then sure you can give wiggle room. But when you give a free reign, that’s scary territory.

Kendra Matthies: Yeah. And even with wiggle room, you have to be clear though too. Like if somebody’s like, oh my gosh, I know I gave you 20 people, but like so and so has to be there.

I just totally blanked and forgot. You could be like, okay, yeah, maybe we could squeeze that one more person in, but like we’re really done after that. Like you can’t be like, okay, yeah, I guess this is not another person. Like, ’cause the more you’re lax again, give an inch, take a mile type of thing is gonna happen.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. 100%.

Kendra Matthies: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Um, okay, let’s do a one more.

This one says, I regret not eloping. Should have saved the money and skipped the drama.

Kendra Matthies: Okay. I have heard this so much, like a lot, a lot. I’m talking even on wedding days, I hear this like, oh yeah, because sometimes the lead up drama is the worst part. Like the scheduling of the bachelorette or the bridal shower was maybe awful.

Like people, sometimes by the time it gets to their wedding day, they’re like, I don’t even wanna do this. Like I, and it’s not that they don’t wanna get married, it’s just people they don’t wanna have to put on the performance and. All of it. So I have definitely heard that a lot. I would say that if you’re somebody that you and your significant other, you don’t really necessarily want a big wedding, you don’t necessarily see even a wedding as like a big thing to you.

And maybe financially it’s not the best option for you. It is never worth it to put yourself in debt to have a wedding. That is wild to me. I have had brides tell me that they have taken out loans for their wedding. Mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: Couldn’t

Kendra Matthies: be me. Couldn’t be

Christa Innis: me. It’s consumerish, consumerism, and wedding culture altogether of like, you need the biggest, best wedding to post all of our social media and have this grand day.

And it’s like. Yes, weddings are beautiful and amazing, but at the end of the day, it is a day, right? And you do not wanna go into your marriage broke or, um, owing a bunch of money or having debt. That is, I feel like that is just like a, such a hard thing to go into a marriage with.

Kendra Matthies: And I think that people kind of have created this almost stigma of, it’s like a bad thing to elope.

It doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Some of the most beautiful weddings have been elopements. One of my friends, her name you guys might follow her online, is um, Mermeg Hair. Her and her husband got eloped, and I wanna say they were out in like some like desert, sorry, Meg if you’re watching, but they were in some sort of like desert, like beautiful thing.

And what they prioritized was the photography, and that was where the majority of their budget went. And oh, my word, talk about magazine wedding. Like some of the most stunning wedding photos I’ve seen of my life. And it was an elopement. Like it doesn’t have to be like, oh, I’m giving up these beautiful photos.

Oh, I’m giving up. I can get great makeup done. You can invest now in the things that do matter to you more. Like maybe you really, really want good photos, but you don’t care if it’s just four of you there. Like, you can invest in those things now because you’re not spending. $50,000 on a wedding.

Christa Innis: Right. I think it’s one of those things too about like knowing yourself, knowing your family.

If there’s high tensions and you’re like, gosh, our families clash, or gosh, like my friends are just don’t get along with so and so, you know, whatever that is, and you’re already stress thinking about it, maybe that’s a sign. Yeah. Everyone knows themselves best. Like, I, like for me, I did not want a huge wedding, but I also could not, I could only picture like all of our families and friends together dancing and like hanging out in like one big party.

Um, so it wasn’t like humongous, but it wasn’t really small either, but. For me, that was important to me and my husband, but we didn’t have drama leading up to it that we were like, oh, I’m so nervous about people being in the same room. But I know a lot of the times when they regret, I feel like it’s because they’re getting pressure from someone saying, you need to have this wedding.

We need to have this big wedding to show off to everybody. But meanwhile, the bride and groom are the ones like suffering because they’re like, this isn’t right us. This isn’t what we want.

Kendra Matthies: Right. So you have to be mindful. It’s okay to get people’s opinions, especially when it’s from people that you really do value.

Like maybe your parents are very important and big in your life. It’s I, it is okay to take those opinions, but at the end of the day, if that is not what you want, who’s the one going in debt because of these things? Who’s the one that’s living with the fact that, oh, my wedding was so stressful and so dramatic, and da, da da, da da.

It’s not your parents. It’s you, so you have to be mindful of yourself when it comes to wedding planning and just like weddings in general, because ideally, I mean, I know it doesn’t happen all the time. This is a once in a lifetime thing for you. I know people get remarried. I’m not saying that, but I’m saying what you are.

Nobody’s going into a wedding hoping that they’re gonna get married again. You are hoping that this is a once in a lifetime thing. Do you want to be like the thing that’s behind that is stress? Mm-hmm. No, I don’t think that anybody wants that. So yeah, I think that taking opinions and valuing people’s input is important, but never to the point where it’s diminishing your own wants or finances, I guess, even in this case.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yeah, absolutely. Definitely listen to your gut on that one and be on the same page with your partner and then yeah, move forward from there. Well, thank you so much for coming on. Yeah. Like I’m just realizing the time. I’m like, so sorry I took so much of your time. No,

Kendra Matthies: I can’t see the time, so I’m just here to Yap.

Yeah, no, this is, I’m a certified yapper. I love it. I love

Christa Innis: No, I remember you saying that last time. I love it. ’cause I, I, I get in that tendency of like just yapping too. And so like, I love when we’re on the same page as that. So can you, for everyone listening, can you tell them where they can follow you?

Anything fun you’re working on and all that good stuff? Yeah,

Kendra Matthies: so you can follow me on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, um, tiktoks gonna be my biggest one, but it’s at Kendra Matthies, everywhere else, it’s just at Kendra Matthies. Um, I’m currently working on, uh, depending on when this is getting posted, I’m gonna be in Premier Anaheim, uh, Anaheim, California.

Uh, February 1st and second, I’m gonna be teaching multiple classes there. Otherwise, I have some other classes that I’m teaching. Come April, I’m gonna be in Chicago again for America’s beauty show, and then I am working on some. Independent classes. Oh, you guys heard it first, but I am working on some independent classes, um, coming up in this year, so stay tuned for those.

But you can always just follow me on Instagram for the latest updates on that.

Christa Innis: Awesome. Very exciting. Sounds like a lot of fun things are coming up. Yes.

Kendra Matthies: So much fun.

Christa Innis: Awesome. Well, thanks again for coming on. This was so much fun hanging out.

Kendra Matthies: Yeah, it was great seeing you again. Congratulations on having a podcast still rocking and rolling.

I think I heard somewhere that most podcasts don’t make it past the first five or six episodes, so Wow. That’s good. Look at you going, you’re rocking and rolling and I can’t wait to see what comes for you with the podcast. I love watching your skits and everything online and yeah, I think that you’re doing a great job.

Thanks. Thank you. Yes. All right. Well thank you guys so much for watching. Thank you. And I will probably see you guys in a story time coming soon, because I told Christa I didn’t wanna share it here, but I think I’m gonna build up the courage to share it soon. Yay. Yes. Yay.

by Christa Innis

The Best of the Best: Brides, Betrayals, and Shocking Moments

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

Get the book!

Ever wondered what happens when your maid of honor ghosts you before the wedding? Or when your vendors vanish right after the ceremony?

In this solo episode, we relive the wildest guest submissions from Here Comes the Drama, and trust—these stories are chaotic, cringey, and completely unforgettable:

From unexpected RSVP dropouts to emotional fallouts with best friends, I walk through the most jaw-dropping stories that left couples speechless, and sometimes, in tears. Whether you’re planning your own wedding or just love the mess, these listener tales offer both caution and catharsis.

And yes, we’re naming names (well, not really)—but we are talking about the friend who asked for a dress budget… then didn’t show up. Buckle up for the confessions that didn’t make the seating chart.

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month!

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

01:28 Wedding Chaos: Would You Rather

07:00 Personal Wedding Stories

10:54 Top Five Moments

27:39 Navigating Awkward Family Dynamics

28:17 Fiancé’s Support and Confrontation

30:26 Mother-in-Law’s Silent Treatment

32:33 Fourth of July Weekend Drama

34:26 Wedding Day Tensions

36:32 Reception Chaos and Aftermath

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

Maid of Honor Vanishes – One listener shares how her MOH disappeared before the wedding—and never explained why.
No-Show Vendors – A couple pays in full for vendors who left immediately after the ceremony with no warning.
Ghosted by a Guest – A friend confirms attendance, asks about the dress code… and never shows up.
Mother-in-Law Cold Shoulder – One bride describes how her MIL ignored her while she walked in wearing white.
Unexpected Plus-One – A groomsman brings a date who tries to break into the groom’s suite.
RSVP Regret – Brides reflect on the pain of rearranging for people who backed out last minute.
Dress Paid, Friendship Lost – A bride pays for her friend’s dress, who then stops speaking to her.
Bridesmaid Burnout – Emotional stories from women who sacrificed time, money, and mental health for other people’s weddings.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“Weddings have a sneaky way of showing you who’s really in your corner.” – Christa Innis
“The drama doesn’t always happen at the altar—it’s in the group chats, RSVPs, and dress codes.” – Christa Innis
“Sometimes the most thoughtful thing you can do is say no to being a bridesmaid.” – Christa Innis
“Family dynamics don’t magically fix themselves because you’re getting married.” – Christa Innis
“Being asked to be part of someone’s big day is an honor—but it shouldn’t cost you your boundaries.” – Christa Innis
“I was standing in the kitchen while everyone else had a seat at the table.” – Guest
“The bride didn’t even acknowledge me—just grabbed the mic and started yelling.” – Guest
“I skipped the wedding and lost a friend, but I couldn’t afford to go into debt over it.” – Guest
“They cut people from my side just to fit more of theirs.” – Guest
“I cried over missing her bachelorette—but that hurricane showed me I wasn’t supposed to be there anyway.” – Guest

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of, here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis, and this is a solo episode today. If you guys are new here or new to listening, I do one of these every month other than the Patreon episodes, which is completely separate. but I thought we’d do something a little different this month and because we are,

seven months in of doing the podcast and it’s just been so much fun to create. I thought today we would do something a little different and highlight the top five moments from all the episodes so far. And I’ve seen podcast use before where they share like a little snippet, but I want you guys to feel a little like it’s still a unique episode.

Okay? So at the very end, of course, as always, it’s gonna be a brand new story. But before we get to that, I’m gonna do top five moments with different guests on the show and play the clip from that episode and introduce it as to. Why it was just such a crazy moment. these are moments that had our jaws dropping.

I honestly had to do some double takes because I wasn’t sure that they actually happened, but they’re insane. we get some crazy stories sent to us and this is just a thank you episode to everyone that submits stories to who listens and shares with their friends because it just means so much to me that I’m able to hang out with you guys and, do what I love here.

Would You Rather Wedding Fails + My Wildest Bridesmaid Moments

So. Thank you guys. Starting off, I know it was a little bit of a ramble, but hey, if you’re used to hearing me talk, I ramble. Sometimes it’s just the way it goes. Starting off, let’s do. Some would you rather. Wedding Chaos edition. I’m talking bridesmaids, brides, all that kind of stuff. so here we go.

Would you rather, and I’m gonna answer just, I dunno, I haven’t read these. We’re gonna see what happens. Would you rather your bridesmaid shows up in a white dress or your maid of honor roasts you in her speech? I’ve talked about this before. I could not have cared less if someone in my wedding or someone at my wedding wore white.

I think white dress would be fine. I mean, if it’s not a wedding dress, I don’t really care. People know who the bride is. Okay. Trip down the aisle in front of everyone or drop the wedding cake right before cutting it. I think I’d rather drop the wedding cake tripping down the aisle. I would be mortified.

A cake. You know, you kind of laugh it off. We got other desserts. It’s fine. Would you rather have a makeup fail in every photo or forget to change out of slippers and walk down the aisle? Forget to change outta slippers, obviously, because that sounds really comfortable. I myself didn’t even wear, no, I wore heels for the ceremony only, and then I put on sneakers.

So that’s how I feel about shoes. I really don’t care. would you rather sit next to your ex at the reception? So I’m guessing it’s not my own wedding. Hopefully that’d be kind of weird. Or let your mother-in-law plan the seating chart. my personal, I would love my mother-in-law to plan the seating chart.

She’s super organized. She’s great at that stuff. so yeah, I would definitely rather my mother-in-law be involved with the wedding and help with that. ‘ cause she was very involved in my wedding. She’s super crafty, super organized. So yeah, I got lucky with that one. Okay. Would you rather go over your budget by $5,000 or have your outdoor ceremony completely rained out?

This is easy for me because it was kind of rained out. at our venue, we had an option to get married inside, which we loved. And there was an outdoor courtyard, so if it happened to be warmer or nice, we could get married outside. But we woke up and it was pretty chilly and I think it ended up raining during the ceremony.

we weren’t really counting on it though, because we got married at the end of March and where I live, it’s, you never know what you’re gonna get. You could be in seventies or you could probably, you could be in like thirties. I always joke about our wedding day. It was like every kind of season. We woke up, it was sunny, it was like maybe forties, then we had some rain, we had some clouds, and we even had some snow.

So we got all of the seasons. okay. Would you rather find out your bridesmaid is proposing to her boyfriend at your wedding or learn someone secretly brought their own cake? Probably bring their own cake. I mean, why not? Who cares if you bring your own cake? I mean, people have dietary restrictions.

Maybe they wanted something that they could enjoy gluten-free or dairy-free. Would you rather lose your dress in transit or your wedding accidentally scheduled on the same day as a major family event? Ooh. See the planner in me is like, well, how would that happen? Because it wouldn’t be that major if like other people are RSS v ping to the wedding that are in my family.

So I would just say the second one, how I mean. I don’t wanna lose my dress in transit, so we’re gonna go with that. It’s funny. So I am in my closet. If you guys don’t know this, I recorded my closet. If you’re watching the video, literally a bridesmaid. I should do a bridesmaid. You guys, I know I can’t, you can’t comment, but I have a bridesmaid robe in here from when I was a bridesmaid.

I should show you guys maybe in a video on social media or something. All the stuff I have from being in weddings. So I talk about it all the time, but I don’t talk about like personal stories a lot. But I have probably three or four, robes in my closet, guys. A DHD oh my gosh. I like, I forgot I was doing hot takes, whatever.

Okay. I have four, five bridesmaid robes. I’ve got two bridal jean jackets. Those were, that’s a story. That’s for my wedding though. I’ve got a bunch of like. Stuff from my bachelorette party when I was engaged and guys, I probably have six bridesmaid dresses. The weddings I were in in the beginning of my bridesmaid career are long gone.

sorry if you guys are listening. they were dresses I would knew I would never wear again. I think that’s probably the first three or four bridesmaid dresses are like, were donated. So. Sorry guys, but I have a bunch of other ones in my closet right now that I’ve been telling myself I’ll wear again, dunno if I will or not.

We’ll see. okay. Sorry guys. Back to where I was. Let me know if you guys think I should do some kind of video on all that stuff. I don’t know. Okay. Would you rather have your officiant call you the wrong name? I read a story about that once or your wedding video go viral for all the wrong reasons. Ooh, those are both like E, those Sting.

I would say officiant. Call you the wrong name. ‘ cause with my name with Krista, I’ve been called the wrong name my whole life. I’ve gotten Crystal. Christina, Chrissy, Christie. I kinda just brush it off. So I think I’d rather do that. I don’t want my wedding video to go viral for the wrong reasons.

‘ cause I’ve seen that. I’ve seen that. And it’s not fun. It’s not fun. Okay. last one. Oh gosh. Would you rather catch your best man doing a drunken strip tease or get a text the morning of the wedding that your DJ quit? DJ quit. I highly recommend DJs obviously, but worst case scenario, if a DJ called, quit or whatever.

Tons. All my friends have great playlists on their phone ready to go. We got Spotify. I know it doesn’t replace the announcement the DJ can do. we loved our dj. He did a great job, but worst case, I do not want my best fan doing a dance on the floor like that. Okay. Let’s get into it. I think another episode, I wanna talk a little bit more about the weddings I’ve been in.

I’ve shared little stories here and there, but it’s funny, I was thinking about reflecting on different weddings I’ve been in and I was like, I don’t really have that many of crazy stories. I do, what I can kind of share right now. The first wedding I was ever in, was my sister’s wedding, and I was the maid of honor.

I was. 19 or 20 years old. So that looked way different from the last wedding I was in. The last wedding I was in, I was 30, how old am I now? 30. I’ll be 35 when this episode comes out, sharing a little detail about myself. Gosh, I’ve been weddings over last, well, the last wedding I was in, I was pregnant, so I was probably like

when, the last wedding I was in, I was six months pregnant. Completely different scenarios. Right? That was for, a friend of mine, my husband’s cousin actually, and I was a matron of honor in that wedding. Maid of honor. Maid of honor. So, what I can say is with the first Wedding I was ever in.

I didn’t really know what to expect, right? So I’m underage, I can’t like plan a crazy bachelorette, that kind of thing. the bridal shower was at my parents’ house, so we kept it really small. This was kind of before Pinterest and all that stuff. So it was very simple. It was fun because it was family. my sister had a pretty, I would say, small wedding party, right?

My speech, I like took time. I wrote it all out. I made sure it sounded, you know, very like heartfelt. I was also in college, so there was a lot going on, right. I go to get my speech, I wanna say I was second. Yes. So the best man goes before me, had nothing planned. He stood up and just went on a whim and just.

Started talking. I didn’t have a clock in front of me or a phone in front of me. I don’t know how long he talked, but I wanna say he talked for like 10 minutes and no one cut him off. And it was someone that I think in his mind was like, oh, I know all these things. I’m gonna say I got three points.

I’m gonna go with it. And then it just kept going. So meanwhile, I’m sitting there and I’m getting more and more nervous because you know when you’re ready to talk and then they just keep pushing it back. You’re just like, okay, okay, I’m ready. I’m ready. So eventually I stood up to talk and I had a printed piece of paper, and I remember shaking the whole time.

I felt like I was giving like a school speech. I looked out here and there to the audience, but most of the time I was just like staring down. yeah. So then the last one, like I said, I was six months pregnant and. gosh,, it was a really fun wedding, but I wish I would’ve asked for more help because here I am, like on the floor trying to move her dress and like train behind her with my big belly, and I’m on the shorter side.

So when I was pregnant, it was like I had a big belly. Guys, I’m not afraid to say it. It was just really hard to move. So I’m like trying to get down these, in these heels. and it was not easy. Doing all that, but it was fun. it was fun to be in a wedding pregnant, however,

It was interesting going dress shopping. You had to find, I guess, a certain one. Then you try to get it fitted around it. Right. But as my mom says, it’s way better now than when she was pregnant as a bridesmaid. They just didn’t have the flattering styles to fit your pregnant belly, I guess she would say. But there’s like 10 weddings in, no, like eight weddings in between all that. So maybe one episode I’ll kind of share some highlights about each one. They’re all just different. Every bride is so different to what they need, their audience, their family.

The type of wedding I’ve done very DIY weddings. I’ve done something from like. Campsite. Like we literally were at a campsite, not a bridesmaid. I was just there helping, where we picked wild flowers and it was very chill and laid back and we could wear just like sundresses all the way to like a super expensive, fancy wedding in the city.

where we took a bus around the downtown getting photos and that just felt so elegant. and. They all end up beautiful. So I know I’m going on like a little tangent now, but just kinda reflecting back, okay, let’s get into it. Top five moments. I didn’t have anyone vote on these. It just kind of based on like downloads and then me looking at the stories again and being like, oh my gosh.

Top 5 Wedding Chaos Moments

Yeah, that was a insane story. So these are like top five. I wanted to hear from you guys though. Which one yours were like the. Craziest. Okay, so coming in at number five is when Cassie Harrell Wedding Pro cast came on for the social media screaming match here. It’s

When we announced that we were engaged on Facebook, oh gosh, everyone seemed very happy about it.

Then I started to see angry faces and a lot of negative comments. My mother-in-law commented saying, how effing, the actual word, effing dare you announce this without asking my permission first? not on a public facebook post

Cassie Horrell: This is terrible.

Christa Innis: So bad. then it only got worse from there. She proceeded to call me names and tell me that I wasn’t good enough to marry her son.

Oh my gosh. all while she was commenting, my sister-in-law was calling and yelling at him about how they should have had a family meeting about allowing a woman with kids into the family.

Cassie Horrell: What?

Christa Innis: I felt sick and unwanted. That is terrible. Family meeting.

Oh, my gosh.

Eventually we get to planning the wedding and his mom had made it very clear that she did not want any part of helping plan the wedding. We tried to include her many times, but she would just keep saying rude things about how my wedding didn’t need to be the center of every conversation. So my husband is from a really small town and we went there for the Fourth of July.

This was the first time I would be meeting his dad and step mom, his brother and sister. Yes, the same sister that was calling and yelling at him. It was a good time, and they were very interested in all the things that we had planned for the wedding. Okay, so it seems like some family member was like,

Cassie Horrell: this is turning around.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Cassie Horrell: Maybe.

Christa Innis: Maybe. His dad told us that we had an allotted amount of money to use, and that if he needed anything beyond that, his mom would have to help us. his mom would have to help us. the dad’s ex wife. so it was the day we went dress shopping and because we had so many bridesmaids, the place was a full house.

Everyone was having the best time. Then we felt a shift in the energy and my mother in law walked in just the gray clouds.

Cassie Horrell: Here we go.

Christa Innis: She was extremely upset that no one Picked her up to bring her to the bridal shop. She sat down and shouted, Let’s get this thing over with. I don’t want to be here all effing day.

Cassie Horrell: She seems nasty.

Christa Innis: Yeah, why even invite her? Like, I would be like, No, you’re not coming. Cause I wouldn’t even want someone’s opinions like that. My mom looked over at her and asked her to leave then if she didn’t want to be there. Yeah. Then she said, She’s been married before, so I don’t know why she even needs to buy a dress.

Cassie Horrell: That is terrible.

Christa Innis: I hate that. She could have gotten one at Goodwill.

Cassie Horrell: No.

Christa Innis: Okay, that is terrible.

Cassie Horrell: This lady’s a witch.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I ignored the comments and started trying on dresses. There wasn’t a dress I tried on that she didn’t have a rude comment about. I would be telling her to leave at that point. That is, yeah, that’s so like unenjoyable.

I finally found the one and loved it and it made me happy. Later that evening at dinner, she tells my husband. I found the dress that hides my arm flab the best.

Cassie Horrell: No, this is bad. I don’t know who this woman is, but this is bad.

Christa Innis: This is bad. This is like one of the worst stories I’ve read. Oh my gosh. The night of my rehearsal, my mother in law sat there complaining the whole time how she had to sit at the same table as my father in law.

She kept saying he better not talk to me. Then finally my brother in law shows up late and my mother in law demanded that I allow my brother in law’s wife in the wedding as a bridesmaid.

Cassie Horrell: Excuse me?

Christa Innis: At the rehearsal dinner? Okay. She was supposed to be my bridesmaid and then they broke up and I guess they got back together the week of the wedding.

Surprise. Okay. They called me many times that week and never said anything about it so I was a little taken aback by this. My mother in law told me that she was told to bring the dress and that she would make me let her be in the wedding again.

Cassie Horrell: This is the mother in law said that again

Christa Innis: my mother in law told me that she told her to bring the dress with her and that she would make me let her be in the wedding again.

Cassie Horrell: Okay. So force this girl into the wedding.

Christa Innis: Yeah. and make my other bridesmaids sit out. Wait, so that’s even worse.

Like, we’re just going to swap you right in there.

Cassie Horrell: This is terrible.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. I told her I wouldn’t allow my other bridesmaid who paid money for the dress to sit out and they would both have to walk down the aisle together. That didn’t make her happy and she told me to just tell my bridesmaid that we would reimburse her for the dress and she could sit down and enjoy herself.

Cassie Horrell: I again told her absolutely not. She got upset and called me a spoiled witch. I’m a little taken back by this woman.

Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s hard because it’s like I’m not in that position, so it’s always different when you’re in it, but I’m just like, I could not stand to be around someone like that that’s constantly mean like that and just trying to control everything.

Cassie Horrell: Also, I’m a little confused. why isn’t the partner standing up to his mom or like being a little bit more supportive here? Because it wasn’t one instance. This is like 20 instances.

Christa Innis: Yes. Like he needs to be like. guarded security at this point, blocking her, because yeah, that’s too much.

we finally get the rehearsal done and everyone left to go to my brother’s house where we were gonna have pizza. My sister in law made rude comments about how we could only afford pizza and not a real meal.

Cassie Horrell: Oh

Christa Innis: no. Let me tell you, we had pizza at our rehearsal dinner and it was still expensive.

Everyone loves pizza. There’s no problem with pizza. Exactly. No one complained. At least not to our face. My parents shelled out over a thousand dollars for this meal. It’s what we chose as it feeds the most. And it was easy as my husband was having his bachelor party the night before the wedding.

Cassie Horrell: Yikes. Sewing

Christa Innis: scrims, man. Yeah. No, I don’t know if people still did that. Yeah, no, no,

Cassie Horrell: no.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. yeah, so he had his bachelor party. It was a terrible idea, by the way. But that’s a story for another day. So we all had pizza and us girls all left. We told my mother in law three times before we left what time our hair and makeup appointment was the next morning.

And we were almost done when she and my brother in law’s wife showed up to get ready. She said, how dare I get ready before the mother of The groom. What? I cannot believe the audacity here.

Cassie Horrell: Yeah, she’s out of line. Yeah.

Christa Innis: When everyone was ready to go to the ballroom and get ready for pictures, she was mad that we were leaving her.

Well, you should have been there on time.

Cassie Horrell: Yeah.

Christa Innis: We were on a strict time frame. We told her that my sister in law needed to be there by a certain time for pictures. She never got there in time for pictures and it snowballed from there. My mother in law ruined our first look, not surprised, by accidentally getting mud all over the bottom of my dress.

Oh. Accidentally. Yeah, how did that happen? She wouldn’t smile in any pictures. Oh my gosh. so later that night I heard someone say that my mother in law was telling everyone that my wedding was unclassy and tacky. And that clearly we didn’t have any money to buy real things. Why do people feel the need to make comments like that?

Right,

Cassie Horrell: keep it to yourself.

Christa Innis: Yeah, like, come on. Oh, and yes, then the arm flab comet came up again that night. I’d slap her. I’d slap her. Oh my gosh, that is terrible. Like, never comment on someone’s body, but especially not a bride on her wedding day. Exactly. that is not okay. And that night she walked by and pinched my arm and said, You should really work on that.

It’s gross.

Cassie Horrell: No. This could be like a whole series. This is like the series of Unfortunate Mother in Law. I don’t know what this is.

Christa Innis: all right. That was wild. All right. Coming in at number four is Rebecca Rogers and the Surprise Wedding Guest.

On the morning of my wedding, the bridal party was getting ready in the bridal suite the groom was getting ready in the groom suite. One of the groomsmen didn’t follow instructions and showed up two hours late with a different girl than who we RSVPed for. Okay. This, this girl had a very strong Russian accent.

went into the groom suite and started talking to the groom and asking questions. For example, is this a yee-haw wedding and will you be doing square dancing? Okay. Interesting. I mean, I guess like switching, I get it. Like, girl, it doesn’t really matter, but it’s interesting. Oh, wow. Okay. Okay, go ahead. Go ahead.

the boys kicked her out and told her to wait somewhere else, and she came then to the bridal suite. She came in and started acting faint and sat at a table demanding attention from all the bridesmaids. They were taking care of her because they were worried and had a hard time understanding her because of her accent.

When they turned away to finish getting ready for the day, she ate my lunch, the bride’s lunch, the audacity. There was no more food left until after the ceremony, so I went to my wedding hungry see I’m a big, like weddings that I’ve been in and like helped coordinate. I am big into like no one other than the wedding party be in the room.

Like, yeah, why was she in there? Yeah. I feel like it’s probably the groomsmen that wasn’t paying attention. Being like, oh, just go in there. You’re fine. You’re one of the girls. ‘ cause I’ve seen that. Yes. That’s what I can see that,

Rebecca Rogers: yeah. okay. I could give her the benefit of the doubt in the groomsman suite.

I could give her the benefit of the doubt and I’m like, ah. She’s just, you know, I think there are such stereotypical views of Americans in different parts of Europe. Mm-hmm. I can see her like genuinely getting excited. Is this a yha yha wedding? Because like everywhere is Texas.

Yes. People in Europe don’t understand that, they think cowboys, they think McDonald’s. they have very specific ideas of what they think America is. Yeah. And. Sometimes when they’re like, oh my God, am I going to be able to experience this American thing that I only see on tv?

Like, they can get excited it can come off as rude because I feel like, especially in, Eastern Europe, sometimes people are much more blunt than we’re used to here in the us. which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s just different. But then the going into like weddings, wherever you go, the bride is the star.

why are you demanding attention as a guest? That should be common sense. Yes. Why are you going and bothering people you’ve never met before? Like if, right. I can even maybe see like a, Hey, we don’t want you to mess up with the setup. Stay in the groom suite. Why are you sending her? I can see why a man, I love men.

Some men are dumb. Not all men. Always a man. Not all men, always a man. Yeah. Why is some man being like, yeah.

This is not babysit your girlfriend time, Tinder, chick of the week. Like Right. You could have been just, she could have even been established as a new serious girlfriend. It’s not everyone else’s job to babysit her. That’s weird. That’s strange.

Christa Innis: Why, did you have to bring someone? Like if she had

nowhere else to go, why did you bring her?

yeah. Especially being a groomsman. I feel like you’ve got your guys there, you got other stuff to do. All right, let’s, right, let’s see what happens next? So she goes to the wedding hungry at that point. Oh, wait, that’s not all. Oh my God. Okay. Sorry. I’m sorry. Oh my gosh. You there was the whole story, girl.

We’ve got lots.

Rebecca Rogers: Okay. Okay. Okay. Continue. Continue. So Molly, okay. Okay.

Christa Innis: At that point, she got kicked out and was told to wait in the ceremony space wedding, and sues with no other problems until the reception. During the reception, the girl tries to enter the bridal suite and the groom suite where the wedding planner catches her and tells her that it’s locked until after the wedding.

No one is allowed in except for the bridal party. Okay, good. I’m glad the wedding party planner is there now. Right? The girl on top of this Exactly. The girl retrieved her groomsmen and they tried picking the lock to the groom suite. What, For what? Why does she need to get in there? Yeah. A friend of the groom went and found the planner to let them know the girl was trying to break in the groom suite because the groomsmen was with her this time.

They unlocked it for them and was told they were changing. So the planner left to take care of the couple. Wait. They told them they had to get in there and go change. I’m so confused. They

told

Rebecca Rogers: the planner, Hey, I’m a groomsman. I need to get into the groomsmen suite.

I have to change my clothes so that Okay. And they unlocked it and left.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. So, oh my gosh. That’s stressful. I’m sweating. It says they did the deed, That’s where I thought this was going and left the place in absolute

Disarray. A huge mess. They then left the wedding early, and we didn’t find out about the mess until after our families went in to clean up the suites and pack everything up. We felt very disrespected by this, so I personally texted the groomsman the next day to ask him why he brought a stranger. First of all, without talking to us about it, that he RSVP’d for was his girlfriend of a year that we knew.

So there we go too. why? He left her to wreck havoc upon the bride and then disrespected the place by basically destroying it. oh, so he brushed off the communication and mentioned that he barely knew her, but that she was a family friend. No apology whatsoever. I was then talking to my bridesmaid about everything that happened with her, and we found out the groomsman parents paid her to be his escort and get him to break up with his girlfriend.

That is not where I thought this was going. Wait, what? His parents paid her to be his escort,

Rebecca Rogers: First of all, if you are a man who is easily swayed to break up with your girlfriend of a year, ‘ cause of a fancy accent and some excitement, throw the whole man away. Throw the whole man away. In my opinion, full stop. Obviously we don’t know like what kind of issues were going on in his relationship. Right, right. We have no idea. Yeah. She could have been a toxic girlfriend. We don’t know. Right. The whole thing just screams gross to me. Why?

Rebecca Rogers: shocked that I’m like, I can’t even find my words.

Christa Innis: I,

Rebecca Rogers: the last sentence, I

Christa Innis: just, the last sentence says, they also paid for her expensive designer clothes for the wedding, then paid them to have an expensive hotel that night. All right, coming in. Number three is Suzanne Lambert and the Lake House Pantry Showdown.

so she called me in the kitchen and she said, aren’t you just so happy I’m going to be your mother in law and not insert difficult family member here. So she’s blocking the name out. I looked her in the eyes and said, I don’t know if this is the person’s real name, so

Barb, I’m okay right now. But if you keep pestering me about things, I’m going to the venue. I’m not going to be okay. I added, this is my boundary. She didn’t seem to the time. But, oh, did she later.

Suzanne Lambert: Okay, Therapy. I love that. Yeah, we love boundaries.

I would love if the fiancé was setting some. and I’m annoyed on her behalf that she’s having to do it all herself. But I’m very proud of her for saying that. That’s not easy to say. Bye bye. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Especially when you’re being cornered because it sounds like she’s alone with this mother. why is no one around?

And that’s what they

Suzanne Lambert: do. I feel like people like this, they want to get you alone at your most vulnerable where you don’t have a chance to really think things through. So that’s impressive thinking on your feet.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. I would be like shaking in my boots. I’d be like, is this actually happening right now?

I’m that person that in a scenario, I’m like, Why is this happening? And a minute later, I’m like, why didn’t I say that? I should have said that. Or as I’m saying it, I’m like, you know what? And boundaries that I’m like, shaking. And I’m like, that’s okay. I’m like,

Suzanne Lambert: Ooh, maybe we shouldn’t have gone that hard.

Maybe we take a deep breath. My yoga instructors, like generator response, you feel powerful choosing. And I’m like, generator response, you feel powerful choosing when I’m like wanting to spout off. So we all have our struggles. Yeah. I probably would have been like, Yeah, I don’t know, crazy family members sounding pretty good right about now, and like, it would have started a whole thing, so.

Christa Innis: Yeah, My fiancé and I discussed how upset we were with the day, okay, so now, now he’s around, and how comfortable she had made things.

he was very supportive and felt the same way two days later, he called her to address it, telling her that her behavior was unfair and made everyone uncomfortable. She exploded saying, is this why I’m going to change her name again? Is this why Kelly doesn’t like me?

And hung up. She then gave us a science by right. Like the, yeah, the girl that wrote the story. Yeah. Okay. huh? what gave it away? Like, are you

Suzanne Lambert: acting? so there’s it’s so funny because like mother in law’s like this. a level of awareness. Like, they get there, right? They get, oh, Kelly doesn’t like me, but they don’t see any of the lead up to anything they could have done.

They look at it as a spontaneous event.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Suzanne Lambert: and all of a sudden she didn’t like me. And it’s like, are you forgetting the a hundred things you did before she reacted the one time

Christa Innis: or the time that they finally like snap back. they’re so mean. I don’t do anything wrong.

And it’s like, that was like the story I read yesterday. I’m like, Oh my god, this victim mentality of like, why would she say that to me? I’m just your mom. I just care so much. It’s like, no, that was not the full story. No,

Suzanne Lambert: because if you cared, you, would be like, oh my god, I hurt your feelings. I’m so sorry about that.

that’s a normal way to do. Can you imagine like if someone called you and was like, Hey, at our engagement party, you made us feel bad and sad and whatever, like you would be horrified because you’re a normal person. Imagine like. that’s why they don’t like me?

Christa Innis: Oh my god. what?

Suzanne Lambert: I don’t understand.

And, like, if she had been like, oh, that’s why she doesn’t like me, that would be like such a different thing. Like, oh, okay. I didn’t realize how annoying I was being noted. You know? Won’t do it again. sometimes you need a little kick in the ass to be oh, I’m like acting a weird way. Yeah. But that’s wild.

And then to hang up, I don’t believe in hanging up the phone, especially on your own son. Right.

Christa Innis: this is a long one. I love this. Sorry, Nellie, but I’m living for this. This is crazy. Okay. She then gave us a silent treatment for three weeks. I bet it was a really nice three weeks.

Suzanne Lambert: That sounds lovely. That sounds like a vacation. Yeah. Silent treatment. That sounds ideal. She should do that more often and with others in her life. I would imagine. That is beautiful.

Christa Innis: Best case scenario. I feel like in these scenarios, just keep it going, please. She even ignored my fiance’s birthday, which is weeks after the incident.

Normally they every other day. So this was very shocking until then we had no issues. And I thought our relationship was fine. Her behavior was hurtful, especially to my fiance. Thankfully his who witnessed everything supported us agreeing that his mom’s actions were out of line.

Suzanne Lambert: We had a wonder if the aunt is on the dad’s side or the mom’s side, cause that also kind of changes things a little bit.

It’s her sister. Hopefully the aunt is going to her being like, You’re being nuts. If it’s the dad’s sister, she’s like, Oh, I’ve seen this from this from the beginning. One of us wanted him to end up with her. Like, we all wanted him to end up with the other girl, you that dynamic is interesting, too.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I know. Like earlier at the party, I think she said the mom’s sister or the on the mom side. That’s

Suzanne Lambert: worse, honestly. your own sister being like, yeah, but again, hope the aunt is going to the mom. Like, if I saw my sister acting that way, or if they saw me acting that way, they would be the first to be like, hey, cut it out.

Christa Innis: Exactly.

Okay. We had a 4th of July weekend planned at his family’s lake house, and she was supposed to join us.

She didn’t show up until the weekend was nearly over. When she arrived, there was no warm embrace, no belated birthday wishes for her son, just coldness. It’s like, why even come? It was incredible. Yeah. Awkward.

Suzanne Lambert: Cause she wants to have her Real Housewives moment. She thinks she’s on Real Housewives of Orange County, with a dramatic show up.

Girl, no one was worried. Yeah. No one was worried. They were like praying you didn’t come. the silent treatment, the weekend without you, where we’re just like, chillin eating hot dogs, waving flags, like, it was all going really, the vibes were high, like, yes.

Christa Innis: yeah, she wanted to come in with the sad music, everyone’s like, oh no, what’s, wrong with Barb over there?

A fur coat.

Suzanne Lambert: Yeah, like, mope dramatically around the house. Puffin and puffin Like, what we would do when we were like, sleeping. Seven and like our parents made chicken for dinner and we didn’t want chicken that’s what she’s she wanted spaghetti She didn’t want chicken. So now she’s making it everyone’s problem.

Yeah.

Christa Innis: Oh my god. So true my fiance I decided we needed to address this. He pulled her aside in the pantry while I stayed around the corner I love, like, the sour cream and onion chips

Suzanne Lambert: listening in,

Christa Innis: you know? That seemed like the best

Suzanne Lambert: spot.

Christa Innis: Funny

Suzanne Lambert: setting conversation. I love that she added that in.

Christa Innis: Yeah, the pantry,

Suzanne Lambert: it really sets the scene. It’s like, this is dire. This is a dire situation.

Christa Innis: That was the quickest spot. He started by saying we wanted to resolve things, but she exploded again. She accused us of keeping the wedding a secret because we wouldn’t share the venue address. A narrative she created.

She claimed I had promised to send it to her and didn’t, saying she didn’t do shit. At that point, I stepped in the conversation and said, Well, it’s my turn to enter now! Okay. And just a little note, guys, that was the one we did the follow-up episode where the original person that sent in that story came on and shared her site even more. So if you’re looking for some more detail on that, check out that episode. And number two was with Saron oba, the Las Vegas letdown.

On wedding day, I went to brunch with girls from both sides of the family. My mother in law ignored me completely. Even when I greeted her, I brushed it off and enjoyed the day. This mother in law hates her. I would be like, you can’t come. This is terrible. Like, why would you want to feel like a stranger or unwanted at your own wedding?

Saron Olkaba: She just has the worst energy. She’s she’s gonna try and ruin your day. I would hire security, give them a picture and That would be it.

Christa Innis: Yeah, because it’s not her right to be at this wedding.

Christa Innis: I’d be like you’re done. Sorry.

I don’t want you there. She’s a guest. She’s a guest. Yeah, you are nothing more than a guest who could easily be scratched right off. at this ceremony, my sisters told me that my fiancé’s family had taken up the front rows on both sides of the pews. My mother in law refused to move, saying her parents can find another place to sit.

No, so now she’s rude to, her family.

Saron Olkaba: this would not be, go well

Christa Innis: for me, or, or, like, cause now you’re gonna be, like you said, you’re gonna be dealing with this mother in law for the rest of your life. if it’s bad now, imagine if they have kids, or if they buy a house, you know, any step in there,

Saron Olkaba: I don’t understand why anyone would sign up to deal with that forever.

Like, You’re asking to be miserable for the rest of your, what man is worth that? What man is worth having to deal with the devil day, no.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I really hope this ends with they cut her off. Like, they’re done with her, I hope. Fingers crossed. cause that’s the only way this is gonna work, I feel like.

okay. So she said she had to move. I had to ask the officiant to step in and remind everyone which side was for the bride’s family and which for the groom’s. This made my mother in law furious. After the ceremony, during photos, the photographer suggested moving one of my fiancé’s siblings to my side to even things out.

My sister in law loudly said, Hell no, I’m not going over there. I ignored it. At the bowling alley reception, my mother in law Who are these animals? Who

Saron Olkaba: are these beasts?

Christa Innis: I don’t know, why do they think they’re so much better than, her and her family? Oh, God. Jesus. I’m speechless. This is probably one of the worst mother in law stories I’ve read.

And I’ve read a lot. At the bowling alley reception, my mother in law refused to sign the guest book, despite me and my husband asking multiple times. When she finally did, she just wrote congratulations with no warmth, and she left without saying goodbye.

Saron Olkaba: Like why? That’s the nicest thing she’s done thus far.

That’s the most pleasant been in this whole story.

Christa Innis: Yeah. The next day, my mom invited us to lunch before she left town. My mother in law didn’t contact us, but took my husband’s brothers to go karting and sightseeing instead. When my husband asked why we weren’t invited, she said, you were busy.

We weren’t. Two days later, I made a Facebook post about the wedding and saw that my mother in law had untagged me from her earlier post. When my husband asked why, she said, it was a post only for you.

Saron Olkaba: Ew. Do you wanna fuck your son? Like, what is going on here? Why? I’m sorry, curse here? Yeah, you’re fine.

I’m a

Christa Innis: little late to ask that question, but. Redo! No. Yeah, it’ll be fine. I don’t know. That is, yeah, why? I don’t get these mother in laws that hate their daughter in laws so much thatthey don’t care what they say, like no one’s good enough for their son.

I don’t, know what it is.

Saron Olkaba: It’s enmeshment. I think that’s the word. no, it’s emotionally incest, even worse. Yes. No, that’s creepy as hell. Right.

Christa Innis: There was this skit, I don’t know if you watch SNL. did you see, oh, who hosted the Timothee Chalamet one? No, I haven’t seen it.

This last weekend? Okay, you have to watch it, but there’s one about that, but it’s like extreme, like the Oedipus Complex. It’s about like Mother’s Day and like the sun being like, hey mom. I don’t know,

Saron Olkaba: I’m horrified that I’m going to be looking this up just immediately after we get off this.

You need to.

Christa Innis: It was cringe, but I was like. It’s like way over the top, but it was like some of these moms, yeah, I could see it. I find

Saron Olkaba: it, once you meet this psycho mother in law, right? and you see that this man sees nothing wrong with their relationship and kind of encourages it and won’t ask her.

How are you still attracted to this man that might want to fuck his mom? Like, how do you not get the ick immediately and run away from, like, self preservation?

Christa Innis: Yeah, cause my thing is, this is not the first time something like this has happened. She had of given signs before they got engaged, or when they first met, I’m thinking, like, first dinner at a parent’s house.

Every girlfriend

Saron Olkaba: had a book before

Christa Innis: him, before her. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, like, what were the signs before? Yeah, because it wasn’t like, oh, they’re engaged now, they’re serious, now my real, like, craziness is gonna come out. Like, I feel like she had to have treated her poorly before this.

Saron Olkaba: Right. And the sister in law is also a as well.

Christa Innis: Yeah, what’s the deal with that? Okay, three days after the wedding, she texted my husband saying she wanted to talk about my behavior at the wedding. What? He told her he wouldn’t have that conversation without me there, and she refused. A few days later, she blocked me on social media and deleted my husband?

So what her behavior was like having boundaries and like, No, expecting her

Saron Olkaba: parents to be able to sit in the front row. Yeah. And not allowing the friend of a co worker of her neighbor’s nephew to come last minute. Those were the things. Right. Those were the things.

Christa Innis: Those are really harsh to have.

I mean, maybe blocking on social media and deleting the husband is like the best thing, because then you guys can’t see her on social media. I wouldn’t have said a thing

Saron Olkaba: about that.

Christa Innis: I would have

Saron Olkaba: said,

Christa Innis: great. I’m like, awesome. Yeah, you saved it. saved me from doing it. When I tried reaching out, she called my husband crying.

Here we go. The victim saying she’d been crying every day because of how I treated her when he defended me like a good, she hung up because she realizes he gone. he’s not backing you up anymore, crazy mom. He is now

Saron Olkaba: someone else’s husband. Not yours.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Not yours. Finally, my husband texted her saying she had two options.

Have a conversation or lose him. She replied, I guess I won’t be seeing you anymore then. I mean, I would say hallelujah.

Saron Olkaba: I would be like, I’m so sorry, babe. Yeah. It’ll be like, we’ll, we’ll get this. It’s just trying to keep my face straight. Okay.

Christa Innis: I know. I feel like the petty in me, I’d text her, I’d be like, well, have a great life. Best of luck. Yeah. Honestly, I’m relieved, you know, and I really hope they don’t contact her.

And I hope it’s just like left that way because like we were saying, this mother in law would make her life a living hell. And number one for the craziest wedding story I ever read on a podcast episode was with Pile Desai wedding brawl disaster.

Fast forward to the wedding and reception. The ceremony went well, but the reception was a complete disaster. Her parents went through the wedding gifts and cards to pay my boyfriend for his DJ services.

Payal Desai: Oh my

Christa Innis: God,

Payal Desai: that’s so

Christa Innis: kki. That’s so, this is why, and I’ve said this before, it’s like when you hire friends, they’re looking for like a little discount? Mm-hmm. Or they just not as, I don’t know, professional.

Payal Desai: I don’t think like friends and business ever mix, No. No, they don’t. That’s a no for me.

Christa Innis: You need extra like contracts in place or to really make sure it’s someone that you want to work with, but most of the time it’s like, yeah, no,

Payal Desai: it just gets mucky.

It gets mucky, and then you’re trying to go through cards to pay. Dj,

Christa Innis: the number of stories that I’ve read about people hiring friends for photographers and vice versa. Mm-hmm. And then they ended up with no photos or they ended up with crappy photos ’cause it was someone just starting out. Like, no, we’re not doing that.

Guys.

Payal Desai: well, and with a friendship or even like with family, like a falling out could occur. And so why would you if it’s a professional and it, you don’t have like a relation to that person. There’s a contract and you abide by that. But a lot of times if you’re working with a friend, like you may forego the contract ’cause it’s like, oh, we don’t have to make it all official.

Like you’ll just do it for me.

Christa Innis: there was a lot of animosity between her family and ours the entire night. If my family was ever on the dance floor, which was most of the night, her family stayed away. What is the deal? Also, I feel like if something like that happened where they kicked out someone for announcing a pregnancy, I would already be like, this is weird.

Like, I don’t know. Especially like it’s his sister being kicked out of the wedding.

Payal Desai: Yeah, when

Christa Innis: you pick up your family and be like, why are you kicking my sister out for announcing a pregnancy?

Payal Desai: do you think that there’s like an obligation to, including like your husband’s female?

Uh, family members in the wedding party. ’cause I don’t think, there is no, like, if you don’t have a closeness with them, like you should not feel obligated. ’cause I feel like when you do, this is the kind of stuff that happens. Whereas if you’re just like, Hey, I’m marrying into your family, you’re marrying and into my family.

Let relationships happen like organically and over time people become close or they don’t, but like, just including them for optics is kind of a problem, I think. Yeah.

Christa Innis: As the night went on, my boyfriend played our family song and everyone was having a great time.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone shove my grandfather. Okay, what’s going on here? After that, all hell broke. Loose fights erupted all over the hall, tables broke,

Payal Desai: and there was blood everywhere. What? That’s awful. Wait. That escalated so fast. I’m like, what happened? Like, so I feel like there is like a piece of this story missing where there was some like conflict or tension that is not being shared because there’s no way that.

It went from like kicking somebody out of the wedding and then everyone’s angry at each other. Two sides, of the family are not interacting, engaging. Dancing together, celebrating, and then all of a sudden it’s like a bloodbath. What? Yes. No, I’m like

Christa Innis: picturing it like, Romeo and Juliet right now, or like the two sides are like battling.

Payal Desai: and it started off very innocent. Like, hey, like they, chose the wedding party, we’re all in it, we’re excited, and then boom, like.

Christa Innis: I don’t know what the heck. This is insane. It says the bride’s mom got into my face for no reason. Mind you, I was only 18 at the time. She went to shove me, but I was pulled away.

Why are people just shoving people here? what is happening? Someone threw my mom to the floor and broke my boyfriend’s custom built speakers, like, oh, no. Someone threw your mom to the floor, pushed your grandfather, like this is the most violent story I’ve ever read. Yeah,

Payal Desai: that’s awful though. Like think about that couple,

Christa Innis: they can never get their families together until they have like a full family therapy session or something.

Yeah,

Payal Desai: that’s terrible. And you imagine it probably causes a conflict between them two. Because one thing that I will say is like. When you get married to someone like you come from very different places, right? Like you’re raised by different parents, and so there’s always going to be At least a little bit of conflict, right?

But like you are more willing to forgive and understand your family’s behaviors and they are as well. this is just human nature. And so if there is a big family conflict, like it’s hard to maintain like what you have with your partner, but then also not be a pushover for your own family.

delicate balance, that’s

Christa Innis: all. Oh, for sure. ’cause if he was like, oh, like Uncle Bob, you don’t know his humor. He just, made a little joke, you He’s like, oh, he’s, just so crass, whatever, like, you know. Yeah. It’s like, oh, but Aunt Mary’s the nicest woman ever. Like, you don’t know her stuff.

Right. You know? And like

Payal Desai: you don’t really know these things intimately about your spouse’s family, so you’re not as forgiving. I don’t know. Oh my

Christa Innis: God. That’s crazy. Okay, wait, there’s a little bit more. it says the sheriff’s or state police arrived. It turned out, the bride’s parents had told my cousin his new wife to leave, leave the reception before everything escalated.

Family Feud Over Wedding Invitations and After-Party Drama

So they had no idea what was going on. Okay. So like I said, those are some crazy stories. If you did not hear the full stories of those, go back and check ’em out. We’re gonna put the links to the full episodes in the show notes. You guys can check them all out. But I’m so curious to hear what you guys thought were the craziest episodes.

Tell me on social media, DM me. Post it in my Patreon, whatever suits you best. and as I promised, we are gonna do an exclusive story because I just couldn’t do, I couldn’t fathom the idea of sharing a new episode without a new story in it. I know the whole point of sharing some highlight episodes is so I can like take a week off, but I just felt weird about doing that.

Okay, here we go. This is my soon to be sister-in-law story. She had sent out invitations for her wedding and used the traditional Catholic phrasing for how the bride and groom were listed. It’s hard to explain, but if you know, you know, I think that’s when the parents. Names are introduced on it, if I’m remembering correctly.

like the Mr. And Mrs. Invite, like the wedding of their daughter to so and so. I think that’s what it’s okay. While the groom’s parents were extremely offended by it, they said it made them feel unimportant and caused a huge issue. Then they came after me telling me how my wedding invitations better not be phrased the same way.

Whoa. Okay. So why her sister-in-law? Why would they come after her? Mind you, I had no intention of doing it that way. I had just been confirmed Catholic and everyone else in the family had already been raised in the church. This all happened before her bridal shower, which of course became another issue.

The bride and groom had planned for everyone at the shower to head over to the bride’s parents’ house afterward for a small after party, just a casual thing, maybe 30 plus people. The groom’s mom shut it down immediately. No, we are going to my brother’s house after you two or just the groom need to be there.

What, why are they so upset about it being at the bride’s parents’ house? This is another one where it’s like the parents are competing with each other because of some hidden reason, right? Like there’s a just story I just read where it’s about money. There’s another story where I have read where one felt like the other one had more control, but they won’t just come out and say it.

It’s also hard when it’s not your wedding, right? So. Depending on their relationship with their son, maybe he’s not relaying all information to them, so when they’re feeling left out, I don’t know. It’s hard. I’ve never been in that position, so I don’t know what that could feel like. The groom replied, we live 20 minutes away and they’ve never even invited us over before.

The bride’s parents have been planning this after party for over a month. Okay, so what ended up happening? My fiance, me the groom and his dad all went to the uncle’s house. Meanwhile, the groom’s sister and mom went to the bride’s parents’ party and were confused and upset when the rest weren’t there.

Wait, I’m so confused by this story, so you’re telling me. Last minute just because his parents demanded it. They ended up going to the uncle’s house,

but the groom’s sister and mom went to the bride’s parents’ house. That’s so weird. Why would they do that?

Miscommunication, PTO Battles, and Overstepping Parents

Okay. Sometimes reacting in real time is hard because I’m still piecing like the puzzle pieces together. I’m only like getting part of the story too sometimes. so that’s my first reaction. What the heck is happening here? Okay. Fast forward to now, the groom’s parents are insisting on using their PTO to come visit, even though the couple explained that they had used their PTO for the year.

Between their own wedding, honeymoon, other family weddings, and my wedding. So

they’re talking about events that are coming up still. So the person that wrote this is currently engaged. There’s a bride and groom’s wedding that’s coming up, and the groom’s parents are the ones that are kind of causing an issue in all of this. Don’t like the wedding invitation. Something on there offended them Probably because I think it’s like the bride’s family is introduced, right?

And it’s like the daughter of so and so is getting married too. Right? So they were offended ’cause they’re not like the main name on it. then they’re mad because they want everyone to go to their house after there was a plan for over a month.

But it’s just weird that part of the family decided to go, okay. Still, the groom’s parents were offended saying they felt unimportant and never got to see their son. Keep in mind, they live three hours away. The groom manages a PT clinic. the bride is in law school working at a firm, and their schedules are packed.

That’s hard when you live three hours away. That’s really hard. I don’t know if the parents are working as well or if maybe they’re retired. That’s probably a little bit easier for them to go to them. However, not something you really have to plan for. I know like my parents live just about an hour away from me, so we have to make an effort.

Like we have busy schedules, but you have to make it work. However, we don’t know this relationship. We don’t know if he wants to make it work or, I don’t know. Three hours is a lot. Maybe they can do a zoom call. but the groom’s parents still try to force FaceTime calls at random times that don’t work for them.

Now, week of the wedding, the groom’s parents are insisting the dad give a speech at the reception. Oh, you knowgo. You guys know how I feel about someone insisting a speech. Traditionally, the groom’s family can give a speech at, the rehearsal. I’ve seen that many times. Not always. And then typically it’s like the bride’s dad or family does it at the wedding.

I’m all for throwing traditions out the window. You don’t have to stick to your Traditions. But insisting, I don’t know. It’s hard. ’cause I feel like there’s like a lot of heart. It sounds like there’s a lot of communication error. The groom’s parents miss their son, they wanna see him, they feel.

Being pulled away. However, they’re just going about it the wrong way. and I just never feel like you should insist, like, Hey, he needs to speak. Maybe he’s gonna say something inappropriate. Maybe he doesn’t know his son well enough to speak about him. Maybe he doesn’t know the relationship. Maybe he doesn’t support the bride and groom.

So if you are personally not asked by the bride and groom, don’t say you’re gonna give a speech. I’ve seen it happen so many times where. Someone that wasn’t supposed to give a speech stands up and gives a speech. Someone tells the bride and groom, Hey, I’m giving a speech. And sometimes they work out great, but I feel like a lot of times the bride and groom’s then pushed into a corner.

So they say yes when they don’t really want to. okay. The bride explained that the dad already had a planned speech at the spot, at the rehearsal dinner. So here we go. Since there were already two maid of honor speeches, a best man speech, a short message from the priest and her dad’s speech at the reception.

So kind of like what I was just talking about. So they were like, Hey, you can absolutely speak, but we’ve reserved it for the rehearsal dinner, the groom’s mom responded with. So no one’s going to hear the groom’s dad speech. Mind you, there’ll be almost 70 people at the rehearsal dinner, and they’re mostly from the groom’s side of the guest list anyway, so we’ll see what happens.

And yes, I’ll send another story. If anything wild goes down this weekend. Oh my gosh. I kind of wanna quickly see if this person sent me another story.

Speeches, Hurt Feelings, and the Line Between Tradition and Control

Okay. They haven’t yet, so we’ll have to do a follow up and see what happened. I wanna get my feedback though on this, or my comment on this. If you really care about your son and you’re really excited about giving a speech, it’s gonna be for your son and your future daughter-in-law. It’s not gonna be for everybody else.

And if you’re pushing more like, oh, well, no one’s gonna hear my speech. Your son is gonna hear your speech, the person that it really matters about, and there’s still gonna be 70 people there. I guess not the main setup, but if someone asked me to do a speech at the rehearsal, I would be honored. I’d be like, that means so much to me.

so again, I’m reading this as there’s a lot of hurt going on. There’s a lot of miscommunication. And, they’re not really going about it the right way. It also sounds to me like the bride and groom probably aren’t making it a priority. I mean, they live three hours away. They seem to be kind of living their lives.

and again, I’m only getting this much detail, so I don’t know what went on or if they’ve always just been closer to the brides family. And that’s hard. That’s hard when. One set of parent is closer to the bride and groom, or the couple, because the other one sees them kind of like, dwindling away or they kind of feel like they’re being pushed out.

But, there’s a lot going on here is what I’m saying. Alright, well that’s pretty wild. I am gonna reach out to this person and see if there’s a part to the story. They sent it a month ago, so it happened a month ago.

We’ll see if anything wild happened during the wedding weekend. I would hope the groom’s dad just accepts it and just gives the speech at the, rehearsal dinner. Who knows. I don’t know. I’ve seen it. Like I said, I’ve talked about this before. I’ve seen it before where people push to give a speech, and it doesn’t always go great.

All right guys. Well that’s all I have this week. Thanks for hanging out with me again. This was just a very special episode to kind of reflect on everything so far. It’s been so much fun to create this for you guys and just hang out. The stories I get are wild, and it’s just fun to kind of react with you guys.

if you guys don’t follow me on YouTube, YouTube’s where I put the longer content, I don’t really talk about that a lot on here, but obviously I do the skits, and I do some one-off reading on, TikTok and, Facebook, Instagram, but YouTube every single week I do release a long form video.

and I say long form where it’s, it’s like 10 minutes, but I do read other YouTube or other story submissions there as well. So if you can’t get enough, we got more there and I got more on my Patreon once a month as well. So thanks for hanging out with me and I will see you guys next time. Bye now.

by Christa Innis

Blog Transcript:

From 60 Weddings to Choosing Balance

POTS, Passing Out, and Pushing Through

Wedding Etiquette Under the Microscope

5AM Glam or Lipstick in the Car

The Bounced Check Wedding Nightmare

‘I Know the Owner’ Energy

Wedding Confessions & Regrets

Blog Transcript:

Would You Rather Wedding Fails + My Wildest Bridesmaid Moments

Top 5 Wedding Chaos Moments

Family Feud Over Wedding Invitations and After-Party Drama

Miscommunication, PTO Battles, and Overstepping Parents

Speeches, Hurt Feelings, and the Line Between Tradition and Control

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