relationship red flags

Makeup Artist Drama, Reality TV, and Toxic Bridesmaid Who Ruins the Wedding with Antoinette

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

What kind of bridesmaid shows up in white to your bridal shower… with her mom in a matching “bride” sash?

Christa and Antoinette start off with some fun chatter about Antoinette’s heroic job before jumping into the wild tale of Erica, the bridesmaid who just couldn’t stand not being the center of attention. From sulking on a pontoon boat to hijacking the bridal shower, her jealousy turned every moment into a spectacle.

This episode is full of outrageous behavior, red flags in friendships, and lessons on boundaries, jealousy, and protecting your peace while planning your big day.

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month!

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

01:59 Discovering Antoinette on TikTok

02:25 Balancing Nursing and TikTok

03:27 First Viral Content: Love Island

05:03 Reality TV and Pop Culture Commentary

06:14 The Rise of Love Is Blind

10:42 TikTok Drama and Content Creation

25:22 Nursing Career and Personal Insights

28:30 Wedding Stories and Hot Takes

41:55 Unexpected Skit Request

42:22 Reality TV and Bridal Parties

43:00 Wedding Expectations and Realities

45:44 Rapid Fire Wedding Questions

49:52 Wild Wedding Story: Erica’s Drama

01:09:58 Reflecting on Toxic Friendships

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

Jealous Bridesmaid – Erica sulks during a boat ride after hearing about her friend’s engagement, igniting a downward spiral of jealousy.
Disrespectful Comments – The moment Erica’s jealousy flares when she makes a rude comment about the bride’s proposal ring.
Bridal Shower Drama – Erica shows up in white at the bride’s bridal shower, making the event all about herself.
Bachelorette Trip Tantrum – Erica and her boyfriend’s constant complaints and early departure from the bachelorette weekend.
Bridal Shower Exit – Erica leaves the shower early with an excuse, hinting at deeper unresolved issues.
Blocked & Uninvited – After a final confrontation, Erica blocks the bride and bridesmaids, effectively ending the friendship.
Red Flags & Final Decisions – The bride reflects on the red flags in Erica’s behavior and why she should have cut ties earlier.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“Some friendships are just meant to be a chapter, not the whole book.” – Christa Innis
“When a bridesmaid makes it all about herself, that’s a red flag bigger than your wedding dress.” – Christa Innis
“Jealousy isn’t the problem, how you act on it is what matters.” – Christa Innis
“Your wedding is for celebration, not for managing other people’s insecurities.” – Christa Innis
“If a friend’s making your big day miserable, it might be time to reconsider the friendship.” – Christa Innis
“Jealousy is just information. How you handle it is the real test.” – Antoinette
“If you’re not happy for your friend, maybe it’s time for some self-reflection.” – Antoinette
“A true friend would never make your moment about their own issues.” – Antoinette
“There’s no timeline for happiness. Every couple moves at their own pace.” – Antoinette
“At the end of the day, it’s your wedding. Not a competition.” – Antoinette

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

About Antoinette:

Meet Antoinette (@msrazzledazzle), your reality TV and pop culture bestie. With over 37K followers and 3.2 million likes on TikTok, she’s built a vibrant community around her sharp takes, playful commentary, and unapologetic love for all things drama. From Love Island to Black Mirror, Antoinette dives into the juiciest corners of reality TV with wit, warmth, and a dash of razzle-dazzle. Whether she’s spilling tea or breaking down the latest season of Summer House, she brings a voice that’s both relatable and razor-sharp.

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Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

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A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi Antoinette. Thank you for coming on.

Antoinette: Hi. Excited to have, thank you for having me. I was gonna say, excited to have you.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh.

Antoinette: Thank you.

Christa Innis: I have been so, I’ve, I’ve been so guilty of saying stuff like that. Like I remember years ago going to like the movie theater and asking them like, or no, you order like food or something, and they’re like, enjoy your movie.

And you’re like, thanks, you too.

Antoinette: Yeah, right.

It’s just like you’re on autopilot a lot of times. You’re like, oh, you too. Oh, you too.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. It literally happens all the time. I’m just like, yeah. And it’s funny now, like my daughter’s too, but there’s times where I’m like, oh, um. Like, what was, how, I don’t even, I’ll ask a question. She just goes, good. And I’m like, well, that’s like if someone says, how are you? But it’s just like, it’s funny.

Anyways, thank you for coming on. I’m excited to have you here. Um, I know we were talking before that I just, I, I found you on TikTok. I love your content, your banter, if you will. Um, and I think that’s just like perfect for this, um, for this podcast.

Um, so you are a labor and delivery nurse by day and you banter about pop culture at night. I mean, I don’t know if it’s necessarily at night. Tell us a little more about yourself. You, and, um, I’d love to hear more.

Antoinette: I am a day nurse. ’cause you know, there are some people who only do night shifts. I am, I’m a day girly.

Okay. I can’t, I can’t do the night shift stuff. So I am a labor and delivery nurse by day, but we do like 12 hour shifts, so I’m not working every day, but I do. Um, so it’s basically like three to four days a week that I am a labor and delivery nurse. And then basically at night or the days I have off, I do, um.

Or if I have a break or more of my breaks if I try to fit it in there, you know?

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Um, but yeah, that’s, um, then I’ll do my TikTok stuff, which, um, I actually only started a year ago. Um, my fiance was like, I loved watching reality tv, and then I was always searching for other people’s takes and stuff, and then also like calling my friends and being like, oh my God, da da da dah.

And then also telling him like, um, because he also watches with me now, so like, then I’m like, oh my God, blah, blah, blah. And he’s like, well, I mean, you’re always searching for it. You’re always watching people’s takes. Like, why don’t you like, do your own? And I was like, mm-hmm. Okay. Like, yeah, why not? So.

Christa Innis: Yes.

Antoinette: Yeah. And then it, the really fun.

The Reality TV Chaos Behind the Scenes

Christa Innis: What was, what was the first like, show or thing in pop culture that like either really took off or the first like content you made about, do you remember?

Antoinette: So the first content I made about was actually Love Island season six.

Christa Innis: Oh, okay.

Antoinette: Yeah. And uh, it honestly like, really, ’cause I was getting really revved up because I felt like people were like really misunderstanding Serena and being like, oh, she doesn’t like Cordell.

And I was like, I think she does, I think she’s just like really protecting herself. Um, and so then I I, I was like feeling fired up about it and I was like, okay, fine, I’m gonna do it on this one. Um, but I feel like something that, like, I feel the season it wasn’t Love Island that like, I think really spearheaded things.

Like, for me, like, I think I got a lot of exposure during The Love Is Blind DC um,

Christa Innis: Ooh, I’m trying, yeah. I, I watched Love Is Blind. Trying to remember who, who was on that one.

Antoinette: Um, uh, Lier. Uh, we call him. I, um, Tyler, is it Tyler? I feel like I’m not, I only call him Lier, but like, because he lied. Oh my God. He like had those three children and it was like, there was all this drama about like, um, how he had these two children, but he called them sper donors and then his fiance like, believed him and like there was all like, and then his baby mama came out to be like, no.

Like, the first one was a sperm donor situation, but the other two were not. Like, we made those ourselves.

Christa Innis: Wow.

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: I must have stopped right before that season ’cause they don’t look familiar to me. I just.

Antoinette: Okay.

Christa Innis: I like religiously watched it in the beginning and then like, I think I watched the first three seasons and then I just like shot. There’s like, oh my God, there’s a new season. Wait, there’s a new season. It was wild.

Antoinette: There’s so many, like it’s so, honestly I feel like there’s like almost three feels like, but I think there’s like two seasons a year. That’s what. I think there’s like two seasons a year, but it feels like there’s three. Like I feel like there’s always one coming out.

Christa Innis: There’s always, yeah. Because I think if you like sleep on it for a little bit, all of a sudden there’s another one.

Antoinette: Yeah. Yeah. Netflix is really on their zoom with it, honestly. Yeah.

Christa Innis: And the first one came out in like 2020. Right. Because I feel like I remember being locked down.

Antoinette: Yes.

Christa Innis: And I was like, I’m about to binge watch this show. I care what it is. It was that in Tiger King that I was like, what’s going my.

Antoinette: Oh my God. Yes. Oh my God. I forgot about that. That was so good.

Christa Innis: That was wild. My husband and I were just like, what is this?

Antoinette: That was insane. Oh, that was good tea. That was good tv. And we weren’t doing anything like we were locked in.

Christa Innis: We were living for, yeah, we were living for like, like.

Antoinette: You said, like any morsel.

Christa Innis: Yes.

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. The, the pods. ’cause they must have started. Because I feel like the pods were because of COVID. I don’t know, maybe it was written before that. I don’t know.

But those, I dunno, man. I feel like it really took off because of like, everyone was at home just watching TV and then they’re like, what’s this show? Okay, I guess we’ll watch it. And then it just blew you up on so.

Antoinette: And then blew up. And then Lauren and Cameron, I mean they’re still like the the, what’s it called?

Christa Innis: Yes. I love them.

Antoinette: You know, they’re just so, and now you know, Lauren’s pregnant, so that’s just so beautiful.

Christa Innis: Honestly, they’re just so that I love them. Yeah, from the beginning. ’cause they were just so like, and I always feel like the first season, they’re the most like real because they’re not in it all for the tv. ‘Cause they don’t know how big the show’s gonna be. They’re like, well let’s try it out. But seasons after, I feel like people just sign up. ’cause they’re like, oh, I’m gonna get social media famous.

Antoinette: A hundred percent. And we’re like really seeing that now, especially like. I, I think it was Love is blind. You really want them to be genuine because like, you’re gonna get married.

Like, you know, and I think some of these other ones, dating ones, it’s like, it doesn’t necessarily fully have to be genuine, but like, I do think a lot of them, like love is love island. I do think people, you know, people wanna be influencers, like, you know, but at the same time they’re pretty young and you’re not thinking of marriage or just thinking of dating.

So they could actually end up liking each other and dating. And it doesn’t have to be like, but like with Love is Blind. I do think people are like, they wanna be influencers, but then it’s like you end up having to think about like, are you willing to get engaged and married to somebody just to be an influencer?

That’s pretty big.

Christa Innis: That’s wild.

Antoinette: Yeah. The concept is wild to me. Like when they were like moving them into these apartments together, I was like, you don’t this, you don’t know this guy. Like

what are you doing? Nothing about them. You don’t just what they told you on the other side. Just like what we found about life.

Like, you know, nothing. Mm-hmm. Like whatever they decide to tell you. And I do think there’s a lot of people who like. In these later seasons into finding out some really messed up stuff. Really? And like, like one of the girls, I think on UK like Sabrina, she was like, he didn’t even have his own place. Like he was living with like roommates and then he like wasn’t even willing to go, like they were living in different parts of the uk.

He wasn’t even willing to go, go see her. But like, he couldn’t even afford to, so she didn’t even know that like, oh wait, like you actually really like aren’t in a place. I mean, it’s one thing if you like start dating someone and you know, they’re like financial status, but like, I really do think they should check.

I was like, are you even in, even in a place to be married, you know, to like, to put somebody first to even financially support yourself. Like in a good well, or like, not, there’s anything wrong with having roommates, but you know what I mean? Like, yeah. Like this guy I think was like 37 and like she, I think he didn’t really give all those details, which I think a lot of people would assume at three seven, like, okay, you might not have everything together, but you probably financially

are.

Christa Innis: A little more.

Antoinette: A little bit more

Christa Innis: established.

Antoinette: Established, yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: I think, or at least like con like. Communicate about like, Hey, I had some financial issues, or This is what’s going on here. Because there was that other guy, I don’t know what season this was, maybe two or three, where they got like towards the end and it came out. He had all this debt and there was something like he was lying about, I can’t remember their names, I can’t remember their names, but I know what you’re talking about.

We weren’t like parody a lot.

Antoinette: Social media. I know what you’re talking about. Wait, shoot. Uh, I don’t remember. Yeah, I dunno means there, but yeah, but there’s that too. And it’s like if you get married, your dad, your dad is their dad. Like so that can really mess somebody stuff up.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. That was, oh, there wa one of the first couples, Barnett.

Antoinette: Yeah. Amber and Barnett. Amber, yeah.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. They, that was something like, she was like, Hey, I have a lot of debt, and they like moved in together. He had a, he had a house already, but I think he like sold it to help pay for the debt. I mean, as far as I know, they’re still together, so, I mean.

Antoinette: Yeah. And they have a kid like, and they were like.

Christa Innis: Oh, I didn’t know that.

Antoinette: Yeah. They were child and everything and she, yeah, she, but she was upfront about it. Yeah, they, she, she was upset about it, so like, or married. So it’s one of those things where it’s like, if you know all that stuff and you’re still willing, then that’s, that’s one thing. Like she was upfront about it. He was still willing.

So it’s like, okay, cool. That’s, that’s on you, you know?

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like reality TV is just like wild to me. I feel like Bachelor, I used to watch Bachelor pretty regularly too, and then I kind of just like, then Bachelor in Paradise was like fun ’cause they all come together.

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: But I’ve kind of slowly stopped watching because I feel like they always just go on to be like, influencers and I’m just like, I don’t know.

I can’t really get into it anymore. It’s just.

Antoinette: Yeah. I honestly have never, I mean, I keep trying for mo mostly for content. Like, every time it comes out I’m like, okay, I’m gonna try and I just can’t get into it. So it’s like, you’ll, you’ll probably see every, you’ll probably see me, make me make one post and then just nothing else because I’m like, I just can’t get into it.

Like, I feel like it’s so overly produced too, and it just feels so fake. Like. You found 20 men or 20 women that are interested in this one person. Mm-hmm. Not saying that they couldn’t all necessarily, but like you didn’t, it’s not like they met this person. They were like, oh, the, you, they, the 20 people met this person, or you had them meet like a hundred people and these are the 20 that were like, oh, I’m actually interested in this person.

Like, you just found 20 people or whatever. Mm-hmm. I was like, it just doesn’t feel organic and then it’s just vying for one person. It just feels weird, honestly. Like.

Christa Innis: Totally.

Antoinette: I love dating shows, but that one, that’s just one I can’t get into.

Christa Innis: Yeah, no, and you make it such a good point because, and it, it brings me back, ’cause again, I haven’t watched probably in like five plus seasons.

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: But it’s like, they’re like, oh, he’s my dream guy, she’s my dream girl. And I’m like, you would’ve said that about any person they brought on as a bachelor master. Right. And be no unbeknownst to you, like last season they were a nobody. You know what I’m saying? Like, they came on as like a random person too. It’s like exactly. I dunno.

Antoinette: I was like, you literally know nothing about these people. Uh, most of ’em don’t even get like, really a lot of screen time. So it’s like you just saw like a couple dates with whoever they were with on last season, and then now you’re like, that’s your dream person. Like. You don’t know anything about them, like Yeah, and I feel like we also saw that with Jen, like obviously like ev, all those men basically didn’t even know it was gonna be Jen.

They thought it was gonna be, what’s her name, that other, that other girl that was like really famous on Joey’s season. They all thought it was gonna be a. Somebody a different bachelorette, and that set her up for complete failure, honestly. Like, and then, ugh, that scammer Devin, like that was whole, I mean, like, I like tried to, but I was like, I mostly was like scrolling, watching things because, because I was like, I keep up with it, but I’m like, I can’t watch a whole episode.

And I, I literally can’t.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I know every once in I went.

Antoinette: You’re like two hours long too. I’m like, ah, Jesus.

Christa Innis: I know it’s, well, there’ll be like three hour season finale and I’m like, who’s got the time?

Antoinette: But why? And most of it’s not even needed. I was like, okay, this really could have been cut down.

Christa Innis: Literally.

Antoinette: Like, there’s just like a lot of different montages with like music. It’s just so gimmicky.

Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s literally them picking out rings, walking down the street through tears in their eyes, picking out their dress. And I’m like, Ugh, come on. She’s like, speed it up. Speed it up. Please. We can do this all in 10 minutes.

Let’s just tell us who picked who she picked. Yes, I know. It’s wild. Like I just, yeah. I. Props with anyone that goes on. I just, that’s just not, yeah. Not my cup of tea. That’s why I like Bachelor in Paradise better. So I have a confession. I’ve never watched Love Island. Oh, it’s everywhere. But this last season makes me wanna watch because the, the viral like sounds and stuff.

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: But maybe I should try it. I’ve had people tell me to watch it.

Antoinette: I think you should. I think I would watch, like, watch season six of the U of USA. Okay. I think season five and season six of USA are really good. Um, the uk I also think season five of UK is really, really, really good. Okay. Um, UK It started in uk so there’s like a lot more seasons.

Um, even Love Island Australia, I can’t remember what season. It wasn’t the latest one I think, or it was the one before last was really, really good. So I do, I really love, love Island. I feel like it’s just. Like, you know, people are on there to be influencers, but it’s also just like a dating show. You know?

Like, I mean, they’re all dating shows, but you know what I mean? But it’s also just like, uh, people being there. They get to meet each other, they get to, and like, there are definitely, you’re gonna, like, a lot of them are good looking. You’re gonna like somebody, you know what I mean? They all, and then there’s just like more like organic drama as well as they don’t allow them to get drunk.

Like the, each day they get like maybe this amount of alcohol. That’s it. Okay. I like that. Um, so it also feels like not, so you’re not as worried about some of the, like, you know what I’m talking about? Like, uh, possible things that can happen if people are like inebriated, like, you know, that they’re making decisions sober.

Um, especially if there’s anything like sexual that goes on, right. Especially because with that, you know, you do end up in there, they do end up sleeping in the same bed as the guy, as a couple that they choose and all that stuff. So, um, and they do seem to have, like, even though I feel like this season in the USA, they did not do very good job of like really doing background checks. There’s a lot of racial stuff coming out. Um.

Christa Innis: I did think that about someone.

Antoinette: Yeah. So they really haven’t like, done good background checks on people, but like in general, I do think they have some pretty cool things in place, like consent wise, like there, there’s just a light that they have in the back of the bed.

Like, so if things start happening, both people have to press it to be like, I consent to what’s happening. And if it’s not pressed, then production gets involved in like no stuff.

Christa Innis: Oh, okay. That’s a good step. Because I remember hearing years ago, like bachelor, something like happened on one of the shows and they like limit them now to certain alcohol too, because people would be like getting inebriated and saying stuff or doing inappropriate things.

Um, that was a bachelor in Paradise thing too. I remember. They were like, oh, we’re only allowed to have like. Two drinks an hour or one drink an hour maybe. Oh, wow. Because yeah, you see, yeah.

Antoinette: With them it’s literally one glass and that’s it.

Christa Innis: Wow.

Antoinette: Like there’s, there’s a whole usually scenes at night where like there, or sometimes at night where you’ll see a scene where they like, are all going up to this table and it’s just like, there’s drinks sitting out already with like a little umbrella.

And that’s, that’s their serving of their alcohol, who they get.

Christa Innis: Okay.

Antoinette: Well that’s, I know. I was like, that’s, I, I just think it’s like, it makes you feel a little bit better, but not that like, there’s not any, some type of like, oh my God, these like crappy men on here, whatever. Right, right. But I was like, well, now you know that this person’s.

Crappy sober. Okay. Like they, they’re just.

Christa Innis: He got no excuse. No, no. I know. It’s crappy.

Antoinette: It’s not a drunk child. This is who this person is. Okay.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think that sounds better too when there’s like multiple, like couple possibilities and not just like one guy and a million girls and vice versa.

Yeah.

Um, and I feel like it also gives like the bachelor, bachelorette or whatever type of show it is when there’s just one guy fending for all these women. It gives them like this like false sense of like, oh, I’m the hottest guy in the room at all times. And it’s like, you’re the only guy, like they would find a rock hot next to you.

Antoinette: You know what I’m saying? Honestly though, like the, the only reason this is working, working is ’cause a, a scarcity mindset that is literally fabricated for this show. Yeah. If you were in any other situation, there would be plenty of other options. Like you are literally the only option that they’ve given.

Yes. So they are, they have to fight for you to stay on the show. Like, remember that? Yes. Like this is like, remember that they’re fighting to stay on the show. Okay.

Christa Innis: Yeah. They’re deprived of any other men, so they’re like, well, this is my dream. Yeah. It’s so, this is my dream man because he’s only man. Oh my God, that’s so funny.

I, yeah, I feel like we would just think too, too logically about that to be on, on a show.

Sisterly Showdown at the Bouquet Toss: Wedding Drama You Won’t Believe!

Okay. So. A little more back about your content. Like what kind of, so I know you’re kind of, you were always talking about your own banter and couldn’t really find anyone that talked about it the way you did. So when did you kind of start seeing it, like take off and do you remember like the first video that really like blew up or, uh, and you said you talked about Love Island, but like, was there one type of content that you’re like, this is it, like people are really connecting or resonating with what I’m saying?

Antoinette: Um, I feel, I mean like Love Island, I started, I feel like I do really feel like it was like love is Blind that like that season that, um, and I think even for me Too, I was around then, like I started like last August. Mm-hmm.

Like around last august for season six and then I. We’re still posting and stuff, but it wasn’t really like, I think last October was when That Love Is Blind came out October, November.

Um, and that’s also when I felt like I was also taking it more like, okay, I’m gonna post every day. I’m gonna like, really, really cover this whole season, you know? ’cause I didn’t even fully cover the whole season of Love Island. Uh, love Island season six. So with the elevens blind season seven, I was like, okay, I’m really gonna, like, I’m gonna post every day.

I’m gonna like, you know, and so I was like also being more intentional about posting. And so I don’t remember what Post was like went, but it, I do remember all of a sudden, like my views started going up. And then also I went from like, I feel like a thousand to like 10,000, like within, within that like between like end of October and November.

Um, and that’s when like, I. Like, like blew, blew up. Like, and I felt like then people were really like also sending me things like, oh, I need to know your take. I need to, and so I got started getting more of that, being like, oh, we haven’t, like, did you see this? Did you see that? Like, and people writing those type of comments, um, or like getting tagged in other people’s videos, like, you know, for certain stuff.

So yeah, I, it was definitely that, that, um, that I felt like I, I started to get a little bit more known and a little bit more, um, like settled in like my like niche or my niche and like my persona, you know?

Christa Innis: Yeah. So do you have any shows that you, like currently watch that you kind of, that you wish more people knew about so you could like commentate on them more? Or are you mainly in the reality like love dating show type?

Antoinette: Um, I mean, I watch a lot of different tv honestly. So like, um, I mean, like, I mostly comment on reality tv. Yeah. Um, and mostly like the, yeah. The loved ones. I try to get into the gaming ones. Like I tried to get into Big, big Brother. Mm-hmm. I just like, it’s, I don’t really understand it, you know, like, and it is also like, there seems to be so much going on, like, so I, I tried this and, and it, it failed.

I don’t know, it didn’t work out for me, but I’m gonna try again. Another, because I really, everyone watches Big Brother. I’m like, I really wanna understand it. Um, okay. But let me answer your question.

Christa Innis: Special Forces.

Antoinette: Special Forces. I haven’t watched that.

Christa Innis: No. I feel like you would like it. It’s like reality, but it’s so like. It’s intense. Like, and there’s reality. Okay, so it’s reality stars put on a competition show, so they’re competing to win special forces. And like they’ve had people like, like Hannah Brown or Nick Vile, or, I’m trying to think of other people. They’re bachelors, but like other, like, there’s, um, celebrities.

Um, so the woman that dated like Travis Kelsey, um, like ca what’s her name? Casey, gosh not, I think of her name. Kayla, Kayla, Nicole. So like, she was on, so like, people like that are big, like celebrities, um, athletes, reality TV stars, and they compete and it’s like really tough competition. They work with actual people from special forces and it’s like intense.

It’s good though ’cause you get the drama, but you also get, like, you see them like. Trying their best to like win at this competition.

Antoinette: Yeah. Ooh, okay. I will have to check that out. I mean, like, I love anything with like drama, honestly. Yeah. I mean, also, like a lot of times on my content, I do like random TikTok drama.

Like, you know, like I, I think there’s also a lot stuff there that like randomly gets flown up for. Like, like I did the Louis Vuitton dress chocolate Louis Vuitton chocolate Yes. Drama. Um, and the girl with the, the dermatology thing that happened, that was like not washing her face, not doing anything. Her

Christa Innis: Yes. Whatever happened with that, was that out?

Antoinette: Um, she got a deal with Sarah V and started washing her face, basically.

Christa Innis: I could not tell if this was like a, um, what’s it called? Where they try to get people mad. What’s it called? Uh.

Antoinette: Rage bait.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I couldn’t tell if it was rage bait.

Antoinette: I couldn’t, I couldn’t either. Part of me feels like it was like, but then they also found like an old post, like a year ago of her having done the same thing, like, but from Reddit. So I don’t know. But Sarah v got involved and like got her to put moisturizer on, and then it started falling off, which I’m like, yeah, because you’re putting, it’s like, not like, uh, like yeah, it’s gonna fall off.

Like, but you have literally not touched your face and you’re building up dirt and old skin cells. Like, I mean, that’s, that’s what’s gonna happen. I mean, I also felt, you know what I mean? So it was like, so like I also do stuff like that where like, so my stuff is like, I have a DD, it’s a little bit a DD too, where I’m like, whatever I’m interested in.

Right. Whatever. I’m interested in that moment. Um, but it is definitely more like reality TV drama and then, um, like TikTok type of drama. Yeah. But I am interested in, like right now I’m watching Huntington Wives on Netflix, and I’m, I was thinking about like. Yes,

Christa Innis: I just heard about this. How is it?

Antoinette: It’s so good. Yeah. It’s so, so, so good. And like sometimes I will, like, I don’t always do, I don’t, for me it’s like not, it’s always, not always for views. So like, maybe I won’t get a lot of views on it. ’cause like, that’s not necessarily my main base. But like, um, like even severance, I did, I did a lot of posts on that because I love that show.

Okay. And I just wanted to talk, talk about it. I was like, somebody will, I was like, I just wanna talk about it.

Christa Innis: So people will come across it.

Antoinette: And yeah, some people will come across it, but like, yeah. So I do watch other things and so I, I guess, yeah, I guess sometimes I do wish that, like, I think it’s hard with the algorithm or from, or whatever, but like I could.

Like, find more people, it would be easier for people to find me that if I’m like doing stuff outside of the, like, reality tv, TikTok, drama, when I, when I am making those con those contents.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. It’s hard to know like what’s gonna like, take off or what people are gonna like, resonate with. Yeah. But that like TikTok drama stuff, man, that like, it goes like fast.

It’s like you gotta like hop on it fast because before you know it, if I don’t, don’t scroll for a couple days. ’cause sometimes like there’s like weeks where I just post and I’m like, I, I don’t have time to scroll or whatever. Yeah. Scroll. I’m like, wait, what’s this drama with so-and-so, what does she do to her?

And I’m like, okay, I have to find out who these people are. It’s wild.

Antoinette: Yes, yes. And some people are really, really on it. And I, and I know for me there’s, at first like I try to like for, you know, I have my. You know, some people it’s a little bit easier to do. I know like there’s some people I follow where it’s like, this is their full-time job.

So like they, they can scroll most of the day. And then like, for me it’s like, it’s not so like, I can’t, so like I, it’s like some stuff, like I’ll have some people write and be like, I want your ticket. I was like, I missed it. Like I missed it. I’m sorry. I was like, I literally do not have time right now.

Like, whatever was my schedule at that time, I’m like, I don’t have time to even comment on this. Like, I’m so sorry. Like, I’m catching babies. Like .

****************************************

Christa Innis: You were out there quite literally saving lives being, I know when you first told me you’re a labor and delivery nurse to her, I was like, how do you do it all?

I was like, you were literally an angel on earth. Oh my gosh.

Antoinette: I’m not sleeping very much.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh. Like, I, I always knew nurses were amazing people. My grandma was a, was an ER nurse. Oh. And so I’m like, I always like heard about like, you know, working in the ER and everything, but then it’s like once I had my baby and I was like.

These nurses are just incredible. Like, you guys are just like amazing. So how, this is totally side note and everything, but like how did you get into labor and delivery and like, I mean ?

Antoinette: Well, yeah. I mean, so at first, like, my first like nursing job was actually as a transplant nurse. So I worked, um, inpatient for people on, on a unit that just did, um, uh, what was it called?

Kidneys, livers, um, and pancreatic, some lung transplants, things like that. Mm-hmm. Um, but when I was in nursing school and I did my rounds, I like, I was like, when I, we did our labor rounds, I was like, I had like one. One shift where we like actually got to be in like the labor unit. We did a lot on Mother, baby.

Um, and I was like, oh, this is really fun. Like, I thought I would, like really enjoy it, but I was also a little bit scared because, you know, you can, some stats stuff can happen too, like losses and things. And I’m a very empathetic person. Like I’m one of those people, like, I will cry at movies, I’ll cry.

Like thinking about certain things will start to make me cry honestly. Like I, like I fox in the hound. Even just thinking about them talk will make me cry like you did. So I, I like really empathize very well with people. Like, so I, I was a little bit nervous, so like when I went to go get my first nursing job, I was like, I actually did apply for labor, but then I turned it down because I was like, I don’t know if I can handle it if something happened.

Like, but then I kept thinking about it and I kept thinking about it. Um, so then I was like, okay, I just need to do it. So then I stayed in the same hospital, but I just ended up applying and like, but it was basically ’cause I just kept thinking about it and I was like, I’m like just. I’m really interested.

Like, I was like, obviously I should like just do it then. Um, and so then, you know, it has been really good. Obviously when sad things happened, it says still really like, you know, touch me. Um, but I am able to deal with it. Uh, but like, you know, like everybody, there’s, it just is something that happens, but there’s just so many beautiful moments that happen.

There’s so, it’s so many, like being able to be there for women when they’re going through this, um, or be there for mothers, you know, not everyone identifies as women, but like, uh, being there for mothers when they, when they’re going through this, um. It just feels so beautiful and it, I really love being able to support that process, being able to support the baby and like just being there for that whole thing. So.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh, I love that. No, I love hearing like how people got into nursing and stuff and like their department because, um, yeah, like I said, I was just like, I used to work for a mom and baby burn, and so like, I would talk to like, um, nurses and doulas and, and oh, you know, just people in the field and stuff.

So I’m always just so curious about it. I love, I love that, that kind of stuff. Yeah. Just a little, little side note, but yeah, why not?

Antoinette: I love that.

Christa Innis: Okay. Let’s get into the wedding portion of.

Antoinette: Okay. I’m excited. I didn’t know. I love drama. I was let as.

Christa Innis: Yes, we, we live for the drama here. It’s a good, uh, um, mental break from, from the world and all that, but, okay.

So starting off, do you have any like wild wedding stories or wedding stories that come to mind when you, when you first think of weddings?

Antoinette: Okay. Like, it’s not necessarily wild, but I, when it’s about me, then when, and it was something I was like younger, so I don’t even know why I was doing this, but like I, it was during my sister’s. My oldest sister’s wedding, and when it was the throwing the bouquet part, like, you know, we’re all like vying for it. And then it ends up being, I look up and it’s actually me and I’m like pulling, like, pulling, like trying to get this. And I, I think I just locked in. I was like, I don’t even know why. I’m like, I, what, how old was I?

Even like, I feel like I was like 17. Like I was like, I’m next. What was I doing? Like mean? Like, but I was like, I was like, I’m fighting for this. And then I look up and it was actually my other sister, like, so, and everybody else was gone.

Christa Innis: Do you guys actually pull poll at this?

Antoinette: Yes, we were pulling at this. I just feel like we locked in. Like, I don’t even think, I don’t even know what I was thinking, like, but I was like, I’m getting this. I, I got very competitive at the, but we both did apparently. Um, my other sister were sometimes I actually dating somebody, you know, and she was a little bit older so like, you know, like made more sense.

It just made more sense. Um. But it’s so funny to like watch the video ’cause it’s just like everybody else has gone and just watching us like literally pull for this thing and then like we, I look up and I was like, oh. And I let it go. I was like, oh. I was like, so sorry.

Christa Innis: Something just came over me. I’m sorry.

Antoinette: Yeah. I was like, I dunno what’s going on.

Christa Innis: Like, like the sister thing. We’ll just let them

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Figure it out.

Antoinette: Yeah. Gosh.

Christa Innis: I’ve been to weddings where people get pretty like, vicious over like the, the bouquet toss or like push people out the way. And I’m like, yeah guys, so it’s gonna be okay.

Antoinette: It’s, it’s gonna be fine. It’s gonna be fine. I, but sometimes it’s just a competitive nature, you know? That takes over. I, I can’t tell you what I was thinking. I don’t think I was, I think, I think I just had it and I was like, it would.

Christa Innis: You’re like, okay, you can take it.

Antoinette: Yeah. I was like, oh, ooh. My bad dresser.

Christa Innis: It’s so funny ’cause I remember going like to weddings in like my early twenties, so I don’t even know if I was with my now husband yet, but like, I’d be at weddings and like I was in that mind frame where I was like, I don’t wanna get married for a while.

And the bouquet would come and I would just look at it and just step back. Yeah. I’m like, someone else take it. There’s been a few weddings like that where like no one grabs it and I’m like, oh man. We’re all just like.

Antoinette: Yeah. Like everyone’s like, oh, don’t, don’t jinx me. Yeah. Like we’re not

Christa Innis: Times have changed. Yeah, exactly. We’re waiting a little longer these days. No. Um, that’s so funny. Um, oh my gosh. I love that because, uh, it’s one of those things where like people are either like so into like the bouquet toss and garter toss and other people are like, no. Like, I always ask my audience like, what are your unpopular opinions?

And I would say like, I. Most of the time one of those come up as like, don’t do it. Like, people are like, don’t do the garter toss. It’s weird. Don’t do the bouquet toss. It’s starts fights. And I’m just like, it’s interesting how, how the dynamic has kind of changed on those.

Antoinette: Yeah. I do think, like, I think it’s one of those things where I think it can start, right?

But also I think it’s one of those things where like, it’s very easy to like get dangerous really quickly because like, yeah, people are like jumping and like, you know, there could be an elbow. Like, it’s not even like you’re trying to like do, but it’s like, I, I think for my own, I don’t think I probably would do it.

Like, just ’cause I don’t, I don’t know if anyone that’s coming would fight over it, but like, I also just like, don’t want any accident ac you know, any accidents to happen over, like just throwing this thing.

Christa Innis: I know I, I didn’t do them at my wedding and I was just telling someone a while back, but I was like, honestly, like I am not very um. Athletic. Yeah. So I could see myself throwing the bouquet, hitting someone in the face, separation, breaking something. So I’m like, not just not throwing anything.

Antoinette: But it might not even go where everybody is.

Christa Innis: How embarrassing would that be? I throw it. I don’t.

Antoinette: Exactly and I don’t want be embarrassed.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I’m like, let’s just take that away. Um, yeah. I love that.

From TikTok Stunts to Bridal Party Boundaries: Wedding Drama Gets Real

Christa Innis: Okay. Here are some hot takes that people have sent in and we can just kind of share our opinions on them. Okay. Um, this says. If you need a content day during your wedding week, you’re not planning a marriage, you’re planning a pro, you’re producing a mini series.

So they’re saying, like, I, I’ve heard of this more, more and more now with weddings. Like people are so concerned with the overall look that they’ll like, do, like, they’ll plan out content like during their video or during their day. Like they’ll film stuff or do like, tiktoks have a TikTok section. Um, I’ve never been a part of one that does that, but yeah, either this person must have seen it.

Antoinette: So they’re saying if you’re planning con, then you’re, what? What’s that last part they said?

Christa Innis: You’re not thinking about planning a marriage, you’re more about producing, like producing something like a mini series.

Antoinette: Hmm. You know what I can see, I feel like I have two ideas about it. I can see how like, yes, I feel like that could be true for a lot of people where it’s like, if you’re so focused on that and.

Also like doing different con, I mean, I think financially too, like how much money are you putting into this? Are you thinking about your life later? All that stuff. But then I also can think like, hey, but maybe somebody is like a, like they really like tiktoks. They really like, you know what I mean? Like that’s kinda like their thing.

They’re like, they’re always doing like content stuff. So then why wouldn’t they have that to be a part of their wedding too? Because it’s representing them.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Um, and if this is how you envisioned it, I don’t think that’s a big deal. As long as like, as long as it’s not like, oh my God, like this, this, okay, you guys don’t do this TikTok, right.

Blah, blah, blah. Like, right. But if it’s like, if it’s just for fun and you’re like, I want my day to be full of like different times that I can capture the day and I want. Then, I don’t know. Do you boo?

Christa Innis: Yeah. I think if the other parties are okay with it and it’s like your day and you like, tell people we’re gonna do this, it’s fine.

I’ve seen Have you seen, did you see the TikTok drama talking about TikTok drama? There was a photographer that No, she was, this is okay. She was a makeup artist that was hired for a wedding. But, um, and there were other photo, there were photographers there, but she had her own plans for tiktoks to be filmed during the day.

So like, literally they were done with makeup and she is going around doing, having the bridesmaids and bride do tiktoks while they have like another timeline.

Antoinette: Wait, wait, wait. This is the ma and she was like, involved. Yes, I know exactly what you’re talking about.

Christa Innis: And then she caught in her car saying they treated her horribly kicking.

Antoinette: Yeah. Honestly, this is one of, one of my things that also blew up for me. Really? Like in the way, in the really beginning for me. Yes. Um, I know exactly. Oh my God, I remember this just of it. She was unhinged. Yeah, she was unhinged. Like even in the first look, she was like, she was there and in the photos making it all about her.

Yes. And the brides were crying. She’s like, okay guys. Okay. Like, that’s too much crying. I was like, why aren’t you still here? Yeah. She stayed the whole day. She stayed and then yeah, she kept making them do tiktoks. Then when it was time for like the after party for the reception, she was still trying to get tiktoks.

Yes. I, and then they tried to kick her. Yeah. Then they tried to kick her out and then she was like, she left and then she came back. She was like, no, you know what? I’m not gonna let them like bully me. And she went back. I was like, yes. I was like, no. It was crazy. I was like, I don’t understand why you’re not getting it, but you, she was like, oh my God, we were having such a good time.

We were kiking. And I was like, not for you to stay the whole day. No’s not for you to stay the whole day.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I didn’t make any said, oh, the groomsmen? Or, she said someone invited her and they were probably just like being like friendly. Like, oh oh, like in, no.

Antoinette: Yeah. Basically like, the bride, like, I think was like, kept being like, oh, okay.

Oh, okay. Like, and I think she like, just was just very kind, you know, like, and like maybe just didn’t wanna like do any confrontation. But then I, it wasn’t until like the groom later at the reception. Was like, okay. No. ’cause he was tired. Like, ’cause he didn’t actually agree to any of the things that the bride Right.

You know what I mean? Um, had said yes to and then the bride was like, no, no. Like he’s just upset. It’s okay. But then she left and it’s like, why didn’t you take the hint from the groom? Like, she’s like, well you know what, my bride, that’s what she said. She’s like, my bride wants me there. It’s like, no, she doesn’t.

Okay. But also it’s the groom’s wedding too. And he asked you to leave?

Christa Innis: Yeah. And leave how awkward that is. Like she’s probably just like, the bride’s probably just trying to enjoy her day. Doesn’t wanna start. Yes. ’cause in our minds, you know, it’s like, oh, I don’t wanna start drama. But it’s like, no, she’s literally viol, not violating, but like crossing all the boundaries at the wedding.

Antoinette: All the boundaries.

Christa Innis: She’s the makeup artist. She’s hired, she did her job. And I feel like she was even like drinking or something during makeup. Yes. Showing her drinking. Yes. All these things. And then what kills me is then like. She makes this video bashing the bride and groom showing the, like all their video footage before their, like, before they even posted to make herself look like the victim.

And I’m like, no.

Antoinette: Oh my God. I knew it. So left for her. Like no one would have even known about it if she didn’t make that video. Like the bride and groom, because they aren’t even social media people. They would not have even, no one even known about it.

Mm-hmm. She could have just have ruined this wedding and nobody would’ve known.

Yeah. But then she went online. I know she made this whole series blasted them, put their videos, their faces. Oh my God. That was crazy. Even like the bridesmaids were getting in the comments and being like, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like this is not okay. And then somebody else, like there was another MUA that had worked with her in the past and she’s like, oh no, she’s unhinged.

She’s unhinged. Like, oh yeah. So much came out about that woman.

Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s, that’s wild when you’re putting your content in front of your client, like Yes. That’s the thing that like, like obviously like I love social media, I love like the connections and stuff, but you have to always put like your job first.

There’s so many people that are like, oh, I wanna create content. And it’s like, well this is not the place or the time. Like as a makeup artist Yeah. Do their before and after and be like, Hey, can I post this? You know? But you have to always check in with your client first. They might not wanna be posted and Yeah, they might not want you hanging out all day and.

Antoinette: Yeah. But she kept being like, well, they agreed to content, but they didn’t agree to like every single content that you like. I think she probably thought you were just doing the look content that a lot of like people do where it’s like, okay, they did the before and then they do the after. I didn’t think, she didn’t think you were gonna be following her around all day trying to get her.

It was like, I can’t remember. I can like hear the song in my head, but I can’t think of. I can’t say it all, but there was like, I can remember the TikTok thing that she was trying to make and she was just trying to go throughout the day. The groom, you were never even a part of the grooms party, but then you involved them. ‘Cause you’re like, well I need the grooms. And I was like, that’s when you know you’ve gone too far. Does it, does the content fit with the service that you’re doing? Right. I think you have to think about that. And does it fit within the timeframe of the service that you’re doing or are you going beyond that?

You know, also, like maybe you, if it’s something where like, I don’t, things are taking long, maybe you won’t get your content. Like, but exactly what you said, like the service should come first. Yeah. And then the content, like I, you know, like, but someone agreeing to make tiktoks with you doesn’t mean they’re agreeing to like literally every single thing that you came up under the sun.

Christa Innis: Yeah, no. 100%. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I can’t believe that. Just like came back like that. That was one of those where like, I think I took a few days off and I came back on and like I got a couple messages. Someone tagged me, they’re like, Christa, can you please make a skit about this? I didn’t. I think I just kind of talked about it.

’cause I was like, it’s so fresh. Like, I don’t know, like this is kind of wild. Like yeah, I watched all the videos and I was like, oh my gosh, this is an unhinged, like seriously insane. Yeah.

Um, okay. This last hot take says reality TV. Weddings have convinced people that bridal parties are unpaid extras. Oh.

Antoinette: Um, interesting reality. Tv. Bachelor parties, they said weddings. Oh, our unpaid extras. Is this more like, I think they were saying that like people are taking advantage of the bridal party basically.

But I feel like people have been doing that for like, even before reality TV stuff.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I don’t actually reality tv.

Antoinette: Yeah. I think it’s just some people do take advantage of the bridal party. Um, I think some people don’t realize that like, yeah, of course, like these people wanna be here for you. Um, but like, it’s not, and, and it’s like, it’s, it’s not like in, you can’t just like ask like endless amount of things. Um, you can’t also just ask people to like put all their money into your wedding or into like the bridesmaids dress or whatever, or, or whatever the makeup that they have to do or, you know, what have you.

Um, also like that whole year is not literally about you to. Everybody else in your life. Yeah. It’s like, it’s about you for you and your spouse, but like everybody else’s life is still going on. I mean, like, I have things to do. We got things to do, but I do know that I feel like there’s a lot of people who are like, you’re not really supporting me right now.

Like, I feel like you’re not doing enough for the way I was like, what are you talking about, dude? Like, I have a life. Like I will help you, but like, I’m not making a full-time job out of helping you for your wedding.

Christa Innis: Right. The world doesn’t stop because you’re getting married. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I’ve seen wild stories where bridesmaids get mad or brides get mad because their bridesmaids are pregnant or their bridesmaids get, uh, also get engaged and it’s like you don’t get claims to the whole there, there.

I mean like I had two, uh, pregnant bridesmaids and I was like, don’t feel like you have to come to anything. Your baby and your health comes first.

Antoinette: Like yeah, I mean life happens. Like, if it’s not, like, let’s say like you had like a destination wedding and one of the people got pregnant, like on like, if, if it’s that time for me, my life for me that I wanna get pregnant, I’m gonna, I’m not gonna like be like, oh no, we gotta hold off a year.

Yeah. ’cause so and so’s, you know, just in case, like, that’s not what’s gonna happen. And I think that’s absolutely crazy when people do that. I think that’s like, literally you need to get your head checked. That’s not cool. Yeah. Like that. Like you’re, you’re way too self-centered. But I think a lot of times it’s like there are probably signs about that person.

Before, yeah. You know, before the wedding there were probably signs about the person that they were pretty selfish. Mm-hmm. Um, and then it just went to like, kind of the nth degree when they felt like they had an excuse to be their most selfish shelf.

Christa Innis: Yes. Like they hear it like, oh, it’s your bride’s day.

Antoinette: So they’re like, yep. The court. Yes, exactly. They’re like, okay, well now I get to be exact you know.

Christa Innis: Here’s my notebook. Yes. Oh my God, that’s so true. Because yeah, you hear it time and time again. It’s like, oh, it’s a bride’s day. It’s your moment. So then they’re like, oh, I’ve, I’ve been waiting for this.

Antoinette: Yes.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: But it’s not, that’s the funny part. It’s your day. It’s your day. Not your year. Not your year, your day.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And we gotta have, we gotta have, respect people’s life and their boundaries too.

Antoinette: Yes. A hundred percent.

Wedding Drama Rapid Fire: From Jealous Bridesmaids to Reality TV Proposals!

Christa Innis: Okay. Before we get to this week’s wild wedding story that we’ll react to, um, we’ll do a little quick rapid fire.

How does that sound? Okay. In addition, okay. Would you rather deal with a jealous bridesmaid or an attention hogging groomsman?

Think hard, long, and hard about this one.

Antoinette: Yeah. Um, I guess an attention hogging groom has been, I guess, a little bit. ’cause I feel like I, for me personally, I feel like I would be a lot easier to talk to that person and be like, tone it down. Yeah. Like I, ’cause I would not have a problem be like, I love you so much, but you gotta tone it down. You’re doing too much.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Versus somebody who is jealous. I don’t know if I would know that they’re being jealous or if they’re like, you know, kind of being stink face or whatever. Or like, or like eat subconsciously or consciously sabotaging things. So I feel like I wouldn’t want that type of negativity.

Christa Innis: Yep.

Antoinette: On my day.

Christa Innis: That’s a great point. Yeah. Um, would you rather your wedding TikTok flop? So like if something bad happened at your wedding or, or your honeymoon get leaked?

Antoinette: Uh oh. Would I rather have a, so I either the TikTok I have be like a flop, like someone said, let, like my wedding was a flop.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like if you had like a wedding TikTok, um, like maybe you like, posted about your wedding as a TikTok and it didn’t do well, is how I’m reading it.

Yeah.

Um, or your honeymoon, like videos from your honeymoon or photos from your honeymoon get leaked. I don’t know. Like Oh, like your,

Antoinette: I I was, I know. I was like, right. I was like, what? I was like, what type of leak? I was like, what we, I was like, I was like, what are we talking about? I’m nervous I didn’t write these.

Um, I guess like, I wouldn’t mind having a TikTok flop. I probably would think it was funny.

Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s ’cause it’d be more for me anyways if I.

Antoinette: Yeah. Just in case. There could be lots of different meanings for the leak. I’d rather have nothing leaked, just to be clear. Yeah. Just to, just to like, just in case nothing leaked.

Christa Innis: I know, I feel like the word leaked just sounds like celebrity leak. Like Yeah. Oh, there, this got leach. Um, okay. Would you rather have your wedding go viral for the wrong reasons? Or have no one shared at all?

Antoinette: No one shared at all.

Christa Innis: Yeah, same. Would you rather find out your fiance applied to a reality dating show after your engagement or that your proposal was filmed for a pilot episode you didn’t know? These are wild.

Antoinette: What the, is this, I guess, um, the film for, for, for a pilot? I didn’t know because like what the actual f*ck if you just, sorry. With the actual flip, if you just, I didn’t know if you could curse something. I was like, it’s all good. Okay. If you just, like, you got engaged to me and then you just applied to a dating show?

Christa Innis: Dude, there’s been people on Bachelor that has come out, like they have like girlfriends at home. This happens and you, the thing is why I’m sure, well, cheaters, I feel like, just don’t think about this, but they’re like, yeah, you don’t think it’s ever gonna come out. Exactly. You don’t thinking at home, like clicking and being like recognize.

Antoinette: Thank you. The internet with the, like, have you not? Are you new?

Are you new to the world now? Like the internet is like, especially with TikTok, things like information moves by fast. People are detectives. Okay. If you’re on there, they’re gonna find you and everything about you. So. Like, people always think like, oh, I can just hide it. No, you can’t. No. It’s no one else has been able to.

Christa Innis: Someone’s always watching, especially nowadays. Oh my gosh, Coldplay concert.

Antoinette: Yes, exactly. Exactly.

Christa Innis: Someone’s always watching. Yes.

Antoinette: And the funny, if they had just not ducked, if they had just not ducked, that wouldn’t have been a thing.

Christa Innis: Yes. Seriously. No one would’ve even thought twice about it. But the funny thing is, someone, do you see the behind the scenes, someone was behind them and realized later, like they had videos of them like kissing before that happened. Oh, they were like literally behind the couple.

Antoinette: Yeah. I didn’t see that. Ah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. So I’m like, oh my God. But like literally, they would’ve just been like, oh, it’s a cute couple. Yeah. Never would’ve thought anything about if they weren’t like, whoa. Yeah, exactly. And yeah, it wouldn’t, the smelling front. Oh my gosh.

Antoinette: No. Right. Yeah. It wouldn’t have been a thing.

Christa Innis: All right, last one. Would you rather have your wedding edited by Netflix or produced by Bravo?

Antoinette: Ooh. Edited by Netflix or produced by Bravo, um, I guess edited by Netflix, produced by Bravo. Ooh. I don’t know, dude, that, that’s kind of like, I, I like Netflix shows, so let’s just say edit it by Netflix.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I like it.

A Tale of Jealousy, Selfishness, and Boundaries!

All right, let’s get into this week’s wedding story submission. Are we, we still okay on time? I know we’re, yeah.

Antoinette: Yeah. No, I’m good. I love bantering.

Christa Innis: I feel like we’re doing a.

Antoinette: Yeah, no, I’m having fun. No, we’re good.

Christa Innis: Okay, cool.

Antoinette: Okay. I’m off today, so we’re.

Christa Innis: We got time. Alright, cool. Yeah.

Um, okay. So as always, I have not read this, this will be a blind reaction. Let’s just see how we go. Feel free to stop me if you want. Um, otherwise we’ll, just as you know,

Antoinette: I might have questions. I’ll let you know.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, all names have been changed, so here we go.

This story starts about two and a half years ago. Around six months before I got engaged. I was on a pontoon boat with my friends, their boyfriends, and my now fiance Ryan. One of my friends, Brooke, asked Ryan if he had any plans to propose in the future.

At that point, we’d been together for a little over a year, so it was still fairly early. But we had already talked about marriage, so it wasn’t a totally random question. Ryan told Brooke and my other friend Erica, that he actually planned on proposing in August, which was about two months from when they were having this conversation. I was on the other side of the pontoon boat and had no idea this was even happening. Next thing I know, I look over and see Erica sulking in the corner of the boat, glued to her phone and refusing to talk to anyone. We were only about an hour into a six hour rental, so things weren’t off to a great start.

I asked Brooke if she knew why Erica was upset, and she told me that when the topic of proposals came up, Erica made a comment to her boyfriend who was also on the boat, and they’d been together for three years at the time. Um. Asking when he was going to propose and he replied with something dismissive like, don’t hold your breath. Ooh. Which upset her. Yeah. Like then starts the comparison, right? Yeah. Uh, for the rest of the rental, Erica sulked and barely spoke.

After we got off the boat, she immediately returned to her hotel. Instead of joining the group for dinner the next day, she texted me asking why I didn’t make more of an effort to comfort her. I explained that it wasn’t fair for her to exec expect me to come spend my entire birthday consoling her over something I had no control over.

Okay. Fast forward six months, Ryan and I get engaged on a beach. Brooke was there because she helped Ryan plan and execute the proposal. Afterward, Ryan and I FaceTimed friends in film me to share the news. When I FaceTimed Erica to show her the ring, oh gosh. The first thing she said to me was, Ew. He let you have red nails for your proposal. Jealousy. Not a pretty.

Antoinette: What the, oh my God. That’s not a friend.

Christa Innis: This is kind of ironic. ’cause yesterday I did like a, like a different kind of video and I was like, pretending to be, I said, your best friend of me just found out you’re engaged.

Antoinette: Oh, I think I saw that. I saw that.

Christa Innis: I said something like that. I’m like, oh, I didn’t know you liked that. Kind of, you know? Yes. That’s literally like that kind of comment, like why would you say that to someone?

Antoinette: That is so rude. Like, and I feel like jealousy is a normal emotion. I do like, I don’t like, people are like, oh, we, I was like, I don’t think you should like down people for having feelings of jealousy. It just is like information for you. Like it’s not necessarily that you dislike the person or whatever. It’s like there’s something going on with you that you are that. You’re looking for. Do you what I mean? And that that person has, it doesn’t necessarily mean that’s not something you can have. It’s just like, it’s some, it’s information. That’s how I think of it more. It’s information. And if you don’t actually take in that information, then I think jealousy can get out of hand. Obviously this person, jealousy got out of hand. Yes. ’cause for her to be outwardly so rude and dismissive to her friend during such a, a beautiful moment. And the fact that she also thinks of you, thinks of you so much that she calls you during that beautiful moment. And that’s the first thing you say is like, what the flip? Yeah. Like you need to get, you need to internally look.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. Like you’re, yeah, you’re letting that jealousy like take over you when it’s like, yeah. You could have like feelings of being like, oh, I wish that was me first, or that yeah. Kind of sucks, but I wouldn’t be really happy for my friend because she’s my friend.

Antoinette: Yeah, a hundred percent.

Christa Innis: Um, it says I was in such a good mood that I brushed it off. Okay, good. At least Elisa didn’t ruin the moment.

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Um, she gave me a half-hearted congratulations. And we moved on later. Our families had planned a small celebration at our house. Erica and her boyfriend came out but barely said anything to me and left about an hour later.

I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, assuming she might be having an off day, despite everything. I still asked her to be one of my bridesmaids. There we go. That gut feeling like she’s already showing signs. Um, when I started organizing hangout so the bridesmaid could get to know each other, Erica always made excuses not to come.

Her reasons ranged from anticipating she’d be too tired or needing to attend a half birthday party for a six month old. What’s a half birthday? Oh, a six month old, like half birthday. I get it. Um, to simply not liking who does.

Antoinette: Six and a six and a half?

Christa Innis: No, I was like, wait, what? Um, to simply not liking the location.

Weird. Not going to your friend to hang out ’cause you don’t like the location.

Okay. While planning the bachelorette trip, I mentioned feeling sad that one of my bridesmaids Tessa wouldn’t be able to make it because she lives in Arizona. Erica responded, I’m so jealous of Tessa living in another state gets her out of so many of these events.

Okay. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

Antoinette: Okay. Yeah.

Christa Innis: I wanna be here.

Antoinette: Okay. Yeah. Honestly, I I, if it was me, I’d be like, girl girly. What’s going on?

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Like what is happening here? Like you’ve been saying, I’ve been letting it go, but you’ve been saying way too many things. We need to talk.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Like, ’cause that’s just rude. Like, that’s just rude. You don’t have to come, like, don’t do me any flipping favors. Okay. Okay. Like, don’t do me any, this what.

Christa Innis: You’re gonna ruin it being there. I’d rather.

Antoinette: Yeah. You are ruining it. Like you’re ruining everything. You’re making me feel bad. Like you’re, you’re putting in digs, like trying to make me feel bad about myself.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. That’s, oh gosh. She’s like putting all the signs out there.

Antoinette: Yeah.

Christa Innis: Um, okay. She says I wish I had a solid excuse not to come to the bachelorette trip, so that that was her end. That’s it. Yeah. That’s your excuse. Like don’t come friend.

Antoinette: You don’t need, I’d be like, you don’t even need one. You’re uninvited. Yeah. It’s done. Done.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh.

Antoinette: That is, I would literally be like, don’t you? I would literally say that most likely I’d be like, you don’t even need one you’re uninvited.

Christa Innis: If someone’s gonna be that mopey and like.

Antoinette: Oh yeah, I wish I had a solid excuse. And you’re saying that to me.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Yeah. No.

Christa Innis: There you go. Bye.

Antoinette: Yeah. Yeah. That, that’s your excuse right? There you have it.

Christa Innis: Um, okay. She goes frustrated. I said, if you don’t wanna come, then you should stay home. Okay, good. She replied that would, that she would def look bad if she didn’t go.

Antoinette: So you look bad by not by saying this, you already, what do you mean You obviously don’t care about looking bad? ‘Cause you look bad right now.

Christa Innis: Yeah. How can you really care about looking bad if you say that? So it’s like, it’s more about everybody else, what everyone else thinks versus your best friend or one.

Antoinette: Yeah. You don’t care about me or what I think because you’re saying all this to my face. Yeah, to my face. Like, you’re being rude and mean to my face.

So it’s not, it’s not about me. It’s like, okay, what other people would it look bad for then?

Christa Innis: Yeah, exactly. Oh my gosh.

Um, while shopping for bridesmaid dresses, Erica told me she struggles when people get married before her. Really? Did they? Right. Not also, why are we telling her this at bridesmaid dress shopping again, like a wedding event for her. Don’t go if you’re gonna make it about you.

Antoinette: Like honestly, at this point, this is where the introspection we need to come in. And it’d be like, I’m in a weird place. I can literally, I don’t know why, but I can literally not be happy for you right now. Mm-hmm. I want to be, I know I should be, but I’m in a bad place.

Yeah. Like, honestly, I should just be like. I can’t do this and cut it out, like mm-hmm. But not, I feel like a lot, not a lot of people are like self-aware like that, where it’s like, I’m just not able to do this.

Christa Innis: Yeah. If it’s gonna bother you that much and every little thing you’re gonna bring up how you’re not married yet, or you’re not engaged yet, that’s a problem.

Antoinette: Yeah. You’re gonna be rude to your, to your friend. It’s, this is supposedly your friend.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Like, you’re gonna be rude to them, put them down, make them feel bad about all the events that are happening around this wedding. Like, then just, then just see yourself out, like, you know what I mean? Like, be a friend and don’t go.

Right. Like that would be the way you’re being a friend. If like I’m, if I’m, I’m literally not able to control myself at this point because I’m so jealous that I need to not be involved.

Christa Innis: Yeah. 100%.

Um, she goes, especially when they haven’t been with their partners as long as she has.

Antoinette: Oh my gosh.

Christa Innis: Doesn’t matter.

Antoinette: Erica. Get over it.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Okay. Dump your partner and get a new one. Then. I don’t know, like, if, if the issue is that, then maybe you should like not be with your partner. If they, obviously, obviously I don’t think she should be with her partner. If her partner said something along the lines of like, oh, what’s it called?

Christa Innis: Don’t hold your breath.

Antoinette: Don’t hold your breath. You shouldn’t be with that. You shouldn’t be with that person.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like you’re more mad at him, I think. Yeah. You’re not mad at your friend and you’re letting him dictate how you feel about your friend, which you should be happy for her. I think you need to turn the anger maybe to him.

Antoinette: Yes.

Christa Innis: You guys are on different timelines.

Antoinette: Yes.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, but also like why even if you’re on different timelines, why would that be your answer to somebody asking about when we’re getting married? Yeah. Don’t hold your breath. Your breath. You obviously don’t like me. If that’s, if that’s like, if that’s your answer, that’s rude.

Yeah. It’s one thing to be like, I’m not ready. Gonna be like, don’t hold your breath. Okay. You, you don’t like me. Then like, you always like, you don’t care about me or my feelings, like.

Yeah. The fact that he was so quick to be like, don’t hold your breath. Not like, don’t worry, we’re gonna get married. I’ve got something planned. Or just like, I need another year. You know, whatever.

Antoinette: Or can we talk about it later? Like, can we talk like not on this boat when Yeah. Not on this boat. You, you might not be happy with my answer. Let’s talk about it in private.

Christa Innis: Might ruin your whole day.

Antoinette: Yeah, exactly right. Ruins everybody’s day and year, apparently.

Christa Innis: Yes. Oh my gosh.

Um, she said she felt she should be getting married before me. Oh, now it’s clear before me. Because of the length of her own relationship. Length does not dictate any of that. It does not ever. It really doesn’t ever. Oh my gosh. It really doesn’t.

I wanted to suggest that she stepped down as a bridesmaid, but I avoided the confrontation because I knew it would end our friendship.

Antoinette: Well, maybe, but this is not ending your friend. This should have ended your friendship.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: This should have ended your friendship. I think this girl’s being way too much of a pushover because like, this should have ended your friendship. Why are you worried about ending? Like how is this not ending it?

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Like all the signs are there from the outside. I’m like, these signs are so big and red that I’m like you. Yeah. As red. Those nails that you got proposed.

Antoinette: Yeah, exactly.

Christa Innis: They are, they’re they’re like flashing at me.

Antoinette: Yes.

Christa Innis: Um, for the bachelorette trip, a joint bachelor and bachelorette weekend. Erica texted me the week before saying her boyfriend couldn’t take time off work. So they probably would, would come late.

Okay. Despite multiple brides, I thought she was gonna say, so they probably wouldn’t come. And I was gonna be like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. Despite multiple bridesmaids offering to drive her so she could come on time, she refused. That’s another, that’s weird. If it’s one of my best friends, I’d be like, sorry, you have to work a boyfriend.

I’m going without you like, yeah. What, what, I’m sorry. I’m not wasting, wasting my time. Um, she and her boyfriend finally arrived Friday night just as we were heading to karaoke the karaoke bar. At the bar they stood apart from everyone else repeatedly asked when we were leaving and complained about how much they disliked it.

Antoinette: Why did you come? They both did?

Christa Innis: Apparently. Like what?

Antoinette: What was the point of coming then? Like, you just, like, you just like ob you want to ruin people’s time.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. You’re just miserable, unhappy people.

Antoinette: Yeah. Like, you are, you’re being miserable and you’re trying to make everyone else miserable. Like, and I have like, I’m one of those people where like, I’m like, I feel like I give so much grace where I’m like, you know, if somebody’s like in a bad place, you know, or like, and you know what?

Maybe you are miserable. Okay. But like, are you spreading your misery? That’s what I’m really asking. Like, I mean like, are you spreading your misery? And that’s what’s happening here. And I feel like that’s so like, get it together. Get it together. There’s really no reason for you to go to event and just ruin somebody else’s time. Go home. Yeah, go home.

Christa Innis: Because, yeah, no one feels bad for you. Like, don’t go there to like ruin their day. Like they’re enjoying their time. So just like.

Antoinette: Yeah. This would also be a festivity and you would literally be like, Ugh. Can we go home? Yeah, go. No, yeah, you can. Yeah, please. You literally can, you drove here by yourself because you didn’t come with us. ‘Cause you’re waiting for your boyfriend so you can, you literally can’t go.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Literally. Please. Do you already want the excuse to not come?

Antoinette: This is not an escape room. You can escape. Okay. Yeah.

Christa Innis: You’re way out. Oh my gosh. This is wild.

Um, the next morning Erica claimed she had a panic attack and decided to leave saying she wasn’t having fun. Okay.

Antoinette: Yeah. Neither were we. We could tell.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: You could tell. It’s not a surprise.

Christa Innis: You made it very clear. Yeah.

Antoinette: Like it’s not a surprise, girly.

Christa Innis: A month after the trip, Erica got engaged. Hmm. Okay.

Antoinette: Good for maybe, I hope, you know what? I hope her attitude changes now. I hope she’s very happy now.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Now she’s gonna be, wait, I didn’t read the rest, but I’m just gonna guess it’s gonna be all about her and her wedding now and then maybe they kept married first.

Antoinette: Oh my God. I bet she’s gonna be like, oh, you know what? If this was my wedding, I wouldn’t have done that. Yes. A lot of that, like, oh, you know what? I would’ve never picked that color. Oh, you know what? I kind of feel like that’s a little techy, but like, you know, like, it’s good for you. Oh my God. I hate Erica. What? Yes. God. Erica, you’re the worse.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Um, a month after the trip, so Erica got engaged and started texting me questions about wedding planning. Oh, she’s so excited now.

Antoinette: Oh, look at her.

Christa Innis: Things most bridesmaids would already know, like what wedding website I use and where my venue was. On the day of my bridal shower, Erica showed up with her mom both wearing white. Because she’s engaged, so it’s now her wedding here.

Antoinette: I literally can’t, Erica is not the worse. Erica is the worst. She can’t help herself.

Christa Innis: Her mom like matching, matching outfits, like wearing a sash bride and mother with bride.

Antoinette: Oh my God. Did you? She’s like, well, I’m, I’m also, I’m also engaged.

Christa Innis: We’re all engaged together.

Antoinette: Yeah. Oh my God.

Christa Innis: Um, she asked the other bridesmaids how long the shower would last complained about having to stay for the opening of gifts and spent most of the time talking about her own wedding plans.

Antoinette: Oh, you called it, you called it.

Christa Innis: I feel like I’ve just like seen so many stories like this where I’m just like that type of person that’s so upset and jealous and has to be rude.

The second then they get engaged. It’s me, me, me, me, me. Oh, you had your, yes, that’s it. But it’s like she doesn’t have her time yet. She’s still like.

Antoinette: She never had her time. You were rude the whole time. Like you’ve been, and then after now you’re still being rude. See? Are you just a rude person? Like that. Just who? Yeah. I was like, were there signs? You know what, I’m sorry. I feel like I was like, were there signs already that Erica was not a good friend before all of this?

Christa Innis: Yeah. I wanna hear about. Yeah. You know, some pre-engagement stories about Erica. Tell me the truth.

Antoinette: Yeah. I was like, let’s get the truth. Have you, as his friend, needed to be gone for a long time? Probably.

Christa Innis: My, my guess is, yeah. Yeah. Like, and this just brought it all out even more.

Um, when I walked over to her table, her mom interrupted me to show Erica something so cute for her wedding. About 45 minutes into the shower, Erica’s mom came up to me and said Erica wasn’t feeling well.

I know I have to say that in that voice. Yeah. No, I love it. Come say goodbye. Oh. At your shower. You need to go outside and say goodbye to Erica.

Antoinette: No, Erica can come inside. Yeah. Or, or tell her I say bye.

Christa Innis: Yeah. She can just do the old Irish goodbye. See ya. Bye.

Um, I went outside and Erica apologized, later texted me that she’s always getting sick at events related to me.

Antoinette: Oh my God.

Christa Innis: You said it weird. There must be some jealousy in the air.

Antoinette: Yeah. Right, right. I right.

Christa Innis: Stick with jealousy.

Antoinette: You’re literally getting sick by your own jealousy. Your own jealousy is making you sick.

Christa Innis: Eating you up inside.

Antoinette: Alive. Like, like your body knows terrible therapy. Immediately, please. Like, yeah.

Christa Innis: Can you seek some inner peace?

Antoinette: Yes.

Christa Innis: Um, all right. The next day, my sister texted Erica and asked if she’d be getting sick on the wedding day too, and whether she saw,

Antoinette: I love the sister.

Christa Innis: The sister is awesome.

Antoinette: The sister was like, I’m done with this.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like, I’ll be her backbone for a little bit. I got, yeah. Whether she felt capable of handling the pressure.

Erica got defensive and sent me a long series of messages about feeling disrespected before I could respond she blocked me.

Antoinette: The audacity!

Christa Innis: And all the other bridesmaids on social media. ’cause she was called out for her bs.

Antoinette: She felt disrespected? She, Erica felt disrespect? Wow. Wow.

Christa Innis: That is wild.

Antoinette: She did them a favor though. Yeah. Like somebody needed to like, thank you for excusing yourself out then.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Antoinette: And she, she literally went through, just blocked everybody. Okay. Nobody wanted you ready.

Christa Innis: That’s someone that like expects you just to like, go to their beck and call at all times. No one says no to me. And so I think because the sister came in and was like, yo, you’re not being a good person. Are you gonna be there or not? Tell me now because

Antoinette: Yeah, exactly.

Christa Innis: Not dealing with this.

Antoinette: I’m glad the sister said something. ’cause it was like someone had to be like, is this, we’ve already seen the pattern for a year. Are you gonna do this on the actual important day?

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Antoinette: If so, like, and I love that. Are you gonna be able to handle it? ’cause Yeah. Are, can you handle it? You’ve proven not to be able to. So yeah. Can you get yourself together before then? Mm-hmm. And she pretty much, she answered, no, she’s not. I mean by all of her actions were a No. That was the answer.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh.

Antoinette: She blocked everybody off.

Christa Innis: That is wild.

Antoinette: Oh so childish.

Christa Innis: I kind of like. Very loosely relate to this.

Like years ago I had a very like shady kind of friend. The end of, yeah, shady is probably the wrong word, just a friend where like I was always like people pleasing, bending back my backward, bending over backwards for. And many times, like last minute cancellations, like if she was gonna help me with something, like feeling sick, that kind of stuff.

And my sister texted her one day when she was supposed to come to something and canceled like the morning of, or just stopped. She like stopped responding to me and my sister was like, Hey, like. Christa’s always bending over backwards for you, blah, blah, blah. And it was like the same thing. She was rude back to my sister and then texted me like a whole thing. And I was just like, I’m done. Like I’m done. Sorry.

Antoinette: Yeah. Yeah. Like you can’t take accountability. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, all right. Last paragraph here says, looking back, I should have never asked her to be a bridesmaid. She has always been selfish and viewed our friendship as a competition. There you go. Mm.

I was trying to hold on to a one-sided friendship, but in the end she took the first opportunity to bow out.

Antoinette: Wow.

Christa Innis: They hung on by a thread there for a while.

Antoinette: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, and everyone, but I mean, that’s what we’re wondering. We’re wondering, like, it seems like Erica probably has always been a problem, and, but she just confirmed that.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Antoinette: Like, and that happens. I mean, I’ve been, I’ve been in, in a friendship like that too, where like, it was definitely one sided.

I was definitely like doing everything. And they definitely were like selfish, but like, there were just, there’s always something, there’s like something, I don’t know what it is, but you were like, attached to that person. I felt attached to them. Um, and sometimes it can be hard to like let people go, even if they’re like, you know, they’re like not really bringing anything.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. A hundred percent.

Antoinette: Um, yeah. Yeah. So.

Christa Innis: And I feel like too, it’s like, you know, you, you think of like good times with that person. Yeah. And you’re like, oh, they’re good to me during that. Or like, this was a good time. I don’t wanna just like be the mean person and say like, I’m done with you, but also like, you, you matter too.

And it’s like, yeah. And their friendships just have a timeline and they’re just. Done at a certain point. And that’s.

Antoinette: Yeah. And this was the one, I mean, I secretly wish for this girl that like it had been earlier, so her whole, all the events weren’t like so tainted with Erica’s drama, you know? But at least her wedding wasn’t tainted with it.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. She was long out by that point.

Antoinette: Yeah, right.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Well that was a wild story.

Well, thank you so much for coming on and yeah, entering with me and reacting to this wild story. I had so much fun hanging out with you. I feel like we could talk for hours just because I do too, so much to chat about.

Um, can you again, just tell everyone where they can follow you and find your content and then anything fun you’re working on?

Antoinette: Yeah. Um, you can find me on TikTok at Miss Razzle Dazzle. I’ve been trying to change it, but it won’t change on TikTok, so Miss Razzle dazzle, and then on Instagram at bits of banter with Antoinette and then YouTube at bits of banter.

Christa Innis: I love it.

Antoinette: Um, and I am now my next thing is Perfect Match and Love is Blind uk so I’ll be reacting to those two shows.

Christa Innis: Okay. I gotta watch at least one of those. Yes, yes. I Dating Show World. Yes. Awesome. Well thank you so much.

Antoinette: Thank you.

by Christa Innis

Education Hot Seats, Reality Checks & a Red Flag Romance — with Colleen Borgert

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

Get the book!

Weddings can bring out the best and the worst in families but what happens when the drama takes center stage?

In this episode, Christa and Colleen Borgert dive deep into a story about a whirlwind engagement, a strained family dynamic, and a wedding that almost didn’t happen. Did the bride make the right choice when she called off the marriage after just one month?

Tune in as Christa and Colleen share candid thoughts on red flags, family loyalty, and how important it is to trust your instincts when the pressure’s on. A powerful reminder that it’s never too late to walk away from a bad relationship.

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month!

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

07:22 Teaching Background and Career Path

12:14 Wedding Would You Rather Questions

18:41 Meeting Her Husband at a Wedding

24:36 Discussing Wedding Food and First Dances

30:12 No Ring No Bring Wedding Policy

36:20 Wedding Story Submission

42:26 Red Flags in the Relationship

48:42 The Divorce and Moving Forward

54:39 Wedding Confessions

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

Engagement Red Flags – The couple’s whirlwind engagement raised questions about moving too fast and overlooking key signs.
Family Drama Unfolds – The bride’s experience with her fiancé’s family dynamics and how it impacted her big day.
The Sister’s Role – Colleen shares her thoughts on the fiancé’s younger sister and the implications of her behavior.
Unspoken Expectations – How family members’ expectations can shape wedding plans, and the consequences of unmet expectations.
The Pushback on No Kids Policy – Colleen’s wedding no-kids policy and the pushback it created from family members.
Taking Control of Your Wedding – The importance of setting boundaries with family members and ensuring the wedding day feels right for the couple.
Dealing with Toxic Family Members – The challenges of navigating toxic family relationships and prioritizing your own happiness.
A Bold Divorce Decision – The courage it took for the bride to end the marriage and choose a life that was healthier for her.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“Sometimes the most dramatic moments are the ones that push us into the right decision.” – Christa Innis
“There’s no rule that says you have to settle for a big wedding if it doesn’t feel right for you.”– Christa Innis
“When we look back at those relationships, we realize: we were just rushing for the sake of rushing.”– Christa Innis
“If something doesn’t feel right, trust your gut, even if everyone else says you should push through.”– Christa Innis
“Wedding day stress isn’t just about the day it’s about what it reveals about the people around you.”– Christa Innis
It’s not about the number of guests, it’s about the intimacy and connection you want to share.” – Colleen Borgert
“Some family dynamics are just too toxic to navigate around. You’ve got to know when to step away.” – Colleen Borgert
“At that moment, I realized that the wedding I envisioned wasn’t the one that was actually happening.” – Colleen Borgert
“It’s hard to face red flags when you’re too caught up in the idea of what should be.” – Colleen Borgert
“A good family should never make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, it should always feel like a safe place.” – Colleen Borgert

About Colleen:

Colleen Borgert is a Catholic ESL Director, wife, and mom with 15 years of experience in education. She is passionate about advocating for all students and dedicated to unlearning and growing into the best version of herself. Colleen’s journey into TikTok began as a way to raise awareness for a comfort closet in her school, providing essential items like toothbrushes, socks, and deodorant for at-risk students. Her efforts gained traction, and after the election, her content evolved to reflect the changing landscape of education. Now, Colleen shares insights on shifting educational laws and provides parents with important updates on what’s happening in their local schools.

Follow Colleen Borgert:

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of, here Comes The Drama. It’s so funny, I put together these intros week after week and you know, I thought it would seem more and more natural, but like sometimes when I read off things, it just feels like I. Uh, not very natural to me. But anyways, thanks for being here, guys.

I’m excited to share another exciting episode. We are joined by Colleen Bogart this week. She’s also known as Leanie Borg on TikTok. She is a Midwest mom educator and all around advocate for her students who need it most. Colleen is known for her heart humor and the way she shows up unapologetically herself.

But don’t let the smile fool you. She’s not afraid to speak up. Stand strong and keep it real both in and out of the classroom. In this episode, we play around of would you rather dive into some wedding hot takes, of course. And then finally, we react to a wedding story submission with an ending you will not see coming.

And I just wanna say, I had so much fun hanging out with Colleen. She’s so real. She was so much fun, and I’m excited for you guys to hang out with us. So without further ado, here’s our episode. Enjoy.

Hi, Colleen. Thank you for being here. Thank you so much. I’m so excited. I’m so excited to have you here. I mean, I think I was telling you before we started recording, like I came across your stuff on, on TikTok and ology. Probably like, I don’t even know, time is, time is funny, but it was probably like over a year ago.

I just love the stuff you put out. So thank you for taking the time and being here today.

Colleen Borgert: Thank you. Yeah. Um, I’ve been on TikTok a little over three years now and have been following you and all of your wedding shenanigans that you put out there and amongst everything that’s happening, like you’re really good comedic relief for me, so I appreciate that.

Christa Innis: Oh, good. Oh, that’s, I love, I love hearing that. It’s kind of goofy just how the internet, I was just telling someone it feels like, it’s like talent show on like. Phone, you know, like you’re scrolling. And I just kind of like pic feel, feel like it’s like talent showing when you’re like in elementary school and everyone’s like, Hey, check out what I got.

And then it’s like the next person, they’re like, Hey, check out what I have to say. And it’s just like this funny world we live in

Colleen Borgert: it, it really is. You know, like I can envision myself doing like little somersaults on, on the stage in middle school being like, TA Yes. And now here we are.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. So true.

And just like the world, I mean, you cover a lot of it too. I feel like the world and everything that’s going on, it’s just like, there’s so many, there’s a lot of negative things going on in the world. Scary things. Mm-hmm. And so I just, I feel like maybe it’s my way of detaching. I don’t know. I don’t know what it’s, yeah.

But, um, but you know, and

Colleen Borgert: thing, things are really heavy right now and, and they’re really heavy for people of all ages, especially in education and that detachment piece, like that’s needed. So we can get up every day with a full bucket. And get to work and keep changing lives. So your detachment is my, is my healing.

So I appreciate you so much.

Teacher Turned Advocate

Christa Innis: Well, thank you. I know. I appreciate what you do too. Can you tell everyone a little bit about yourself, what you do, and kind of how that pivoted into what you share on social media?

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. So, um, this is gonna be my 15th year in education and I’ve kind of always had more of a social work type background.

And that’s originally what I got into TikTok for. Um, I was raising awareness to help build a comfort closet for, um, kiddos in my school that were from at-risk backgrounds. So, um, I would put out items that we needed, like toothbrush, socks, toothpaste, deodorant, um, just to get eyeballs on that Amazon wishlist link, and then it kind of blew up from there.

And then. After the election when everything kind of in my world pivoted and changed a little bit, so did my content. Um, because everything in the education world is shifting and changing and I wanted to let parents know, Hey, this is happening in your neck of the woods, so come on up to the front and hear about it.

So now I share more, um, educational laws that are changing, things that are adapting within the educational world.

Christa Innis: I love that. I feel like it’s so important because I, I’ve seen especially in your own content too, people will sign off on things or they’re like, agree with something until they really get to the nitty gritty and they’re like, wait, what’s happening?

Wait, department of Education’s going away. You know, and they’re like picking up these things. They’re like, wait, what does that actually mean? And they need people that are in it that know the ins and outs to explain it.

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. And, and it’s easy for every single person to kind of wear a school hat in the sense because they were a student at one point in their lives, but the lens that they see things through is that student lens and maybe not what’s behind the curtain.

So hopefully I can just pull that curtain back for people and let them see the nitty gritty of what things actually mean.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And so like what. Kind of going back, what inspired you to initially become an educator? You said you started with social. Did you start with social work and you were kind of in that field and then you kind of moved into be teaching?

Colleen Borgert: Yeah, so, um, I kind of was always in the school social work realm. And then just recently, a few years ago, I kind of navigated more into the classroom and now I work at a Catholic school. So I’m a Catholic, um, English, a second language director. And um, what I do is I ensure kiddos that do not have English as a first language, have equitable education.

Um, now more than ever. That’s extremely important. Um, I think that I feel. So I shouldn’t say think. Mm-hmm. I feel so passionate about this because I also grew up in an extremely, like poor environment, poor households. So I know what it took to like claw my way to get here. And I know that if it’s possible for me, it’s possible for other kids if I can just be that adult that I needed when I was younger.

So that’s definitely what fuels me every day that I get up and I go to school.

Christa Innis: I love that I’ve, I’ve heard that quote before about like, you like need to almost think about who you needed as a child because that’s gonna, that should be kind of like who we are as adults, because that’s gonna kind of put us back in that mind frame of like, okay, I really need an adult to hear me.

I really needed an adult to support me or understand me. Um,

Colleen Borgert: to make you feel seen and valid.

Christa Innis: Yeah, absolutely. I feel like that’s. I feel like that’s such a pivotal thing to remember because we get kind of lost in the day to day. And then especially as educators, you want someone to really care. Like, you know, my, my daughter’s too young for school yet, but when she’s in school, I’m like, you want a teacher like that that’s gonna really think like, okay, they’re gonna hear everything I say or they’re gonna see me as a person, like even if I’m quiet or, you know, those kind of things.

Colleen Borgert: Absolutely. And see the parent too, because the parent is an important part of all that.

Teacher Balancing Truth & Boundaries

Christa Innis: Yeah. Mm-hmm. So do you think, so I know you’ve kind of posted before about like, like your content changing, especially after the election, but I think even before the election you were kind of, you know, talking a little bit more about what could happen, these kind of things.

So with working at a Catholic school, is it hard to kind of. Do you have to stay in line with certain things or say certain things? I don’t wanna like get you in trouble either, so I wanna make sure you’re saying things that are okay. Mm-hmm. You know, like, are there guidelines like you, can you say certain things online or where does that fall in line with your teaching?

Colleen Borgert: Well, I think in general that is kind of just a teacher box that everyone has to stay in. Um, when it comes to my Catholic faith and, and where I align, at first I was really nervous to kind of like go out in those waters and let people know like, Hey, I’m a, I’m not a public school teacher. I’m a Catholic school teacher.

But once I showed people that. I am here for all kids regardless of religion, race, background, culture. People started to see my authentic, you know, views that I wanted to present and the information that I was giving people and it was well received. There are definite lanes that you have to stay in, um, as a teacher.

And then I think my lane is just a tad bit smaller being a Catholic school teacher, but the things that I am bringing are fact-based. Educational laws to people. So I’m really proud of that. And I think as long as I stay in my lane, you know, I’m good. And I’ve had a lot of wonderful support from my school community.

Um, they have backed me up 110%. Um, they believe that every child has the right to a free and equitable education as I do regardless of race and religion. So it’s been really good. Um, but at the end of the day, I’m an adult and I have to be able to control what I say to stay in that lane.

Christa Innis: Yeah, no, absolutely.

No, I love it. I love that they’re, they’re behind you. ’cause I mean, just in general with like content creators, like just different jobs, I’ve heard different stories where they’re like, you can’t say this, you can’t post this, you can’t do this. Um, so it’s really good to hear that there’s like supportive, um, uh, schools and communities out there.

Colleen Borgert: Oh wait, I totally butchered

A Diagnosis That Changed Everything

Christa Innis: that question, but chair, like a pivotal moment in your life that kind of shaped how you approach teaching.

Colleen Borgert: Um, I think one thing that changed my view on how I view all kids in the classroom is my son was diagnosed with Tourette’s Syndrome when he was in kindergarten and. As a parent, just hearing that diagnosis, not knowing what that looks like, um, in our, in our lives, let alone in the classroom, surrounded by, by kids he does not know.

It, it really made me like peel back my eyelids and open my eyeballs to every single kid has something different that’s going on inside of them. Mm-hmm. Every single kid that is in front of me is going to feel one way or another on a certain day. And my son deserved to have a teacher that was like, okay, you are different and you’re unique and that’s wonderful.

And how are we going to ensure that you get the exact same care and attention as every single other kiddo. Mm-hmm. In here. And I think as we’re looking at things today that are happening, happening politically. We have to remember that we are all just one diagnosis away from having a unique child. We, you know, we are, we’re one car accident away from having a child that might need to be in a wheelchair that is going to need different accommodations and is going to need a teacher that is, is loving and caring and will do absolutely everything for your kid.

Like they would for Susie Hugh, who is always there 20 minutes early, raising our hand star reader. Mm-hmm. Like every single child is different. And I want my kid to have a teacher that loves on him. Like I love on every single baby that I see every single day of the school year. Mm-hmm. So, like his diagnosis, it, it was rough for us.

It was scary. We didn’t know what that would look like. So that, that was, that was hard.

Christa Innis: Yeah. No, I think that that’s, yeah. Such an important thing because like you said, anything can change in a minute. I think. A lot of times people just like look at like, what’s gonna affect me and me only? Mm-hmm. And if you look outside and say like, well, how is this affecting other people?

Or how is it affecting that family? Or how is it affecting this family that leads to more compassion and empathy and understanding. I think that’s really what the world lacks. Because, because, um, not to like generalize, but I just feel like those are the things I’ve observed is like there’s a certain group of people that let’s look at like, well, it doesn’t bother me, so I’m fine.

Right. It’s like what anything can change, anything could happen. Like you said, like mm-hmm. Um, emergencies happen all the time or you know, I don’t know. Things, things just can change quickly. Um, that’s, yeah. That’s such a good thing to think about. Um, okay.

I wanna switch into the wedding, wedding kind of topic.

And as I was kind saying to you before we started recording is like I’m adding, I’m kinda shifting these podcast episodes a little bit different to like more conversations in the beginning, but I still haven’t kind of figured it out a transition. Sometimes it just happens naturally and other times I’m like, all right, so onto the wedding stuff.

So sorry if it seems kind of abrupt. We’re working on it. No first timer here. I think it seems fabulous. Okay. I was just like talk my way through stuff. ’cause I’m like, or like, what is it called? Not talk my way through it. I don’t know, I just like when I dunno what I’m doing, I just keep talking and figuring it out.

Girl. Same. And you’re a hand talker. So, oh my gosh. The number of people, when I first started making content that would like, like hate comments about like me using my hands, I was like,

Colleen Borgert: I dunno, I don’t know. Yeah. It just happens. I get the same. And then my next video I come out 10 times harder just like.

Christa Innis: You thought it was bad before, just wait. I know, right? It’s like, I will make sure I do it now. Well, yeah. And so one comment I got last night was, um, like I, because you know, I do like the skits and stuff, but every once in a while I come on and I’ll like explain something or I’ll give like a little background.

Someone basically was like, no one likes when you do that. Like, don’t come on and explain things. We’re here for the skits and the skits only. Don’t talk and waste our time.

Colleen Borgert: People are so rude keyboard warriors nowadays. Like, it’s absolutely ridiculous. It’s, I know, it’s crazy. I just have to

Christa Innis: laugh at the ridiculous ones.

Weddings Would-You-Rather

Okay, so starting off, let’s do a little, um, wedding. Would you rather Ooh. Completely Just random. So, okay. Um, it’s a lit, some of them might be a little tied to being a teacher, but then we’re gonna do like other ones. So here we go. Okay. Would you rather have to teach a class of 30 kids in full bridesmaid attire or chaperone recess in high heels the day after a wedding?

Colleen Borgert: Oh my goodness gracious. Well, with the amount of dancing that I do and the way that I get into shout and put my hands up in the air, yeah, I’m definitely gonna go with the 30 kids in the classroom like, yeah. A bridesmaids dress. I love a good dress up any day of the week.

Christa Innis: Yes, I know. It’s a fun, fun excuse to have like a princess day or something.

Colleen Borgert: Right. Like since Wynn is dressing up bad at school, so I, I totally will take that. But my 41-year-old body nowadays after wedding dancing, I can’t like, oh my gosh. Beautiful day recovery and yeah.

Christa Innis: No

Colleen Borgert: fun.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I know. It’s funny how that like just changes all of a sudden, like I’d be like, when people have like the full wedding weekend, I’m like, I need like one big day and then I need like a couple days of recovery.

Thank you. Yes.

Colleen Borgert: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Mm. Yeah. After, after a good wedding, you know?

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Okay. Uh, would you rather give a wedding toast with no preparation or do the Chacha slide solo in front of the whole reception?

Colleen Borgert: Oh my gosh. Chacha real smooth now. Mm. Um, I would much rather. I think just give a wedding toast.

Like, it, it, I’m a group dancer, but solo dancing, like my, my, my face drops. Like my, my face gets serious. It’s, it’s not very cool to look at. I don’t think anyone would want that, but hand me a mic and I, you know, cheers the bride and groom. That’s something I can get behind. Get behind. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. All right.

Um, would you rather attend a wedding where the ceremony lasts three hours? Or one where the DJ only plays kids? Bop.

Colleen Borgert: Oh, okay. Um, that’s a tough one. Oh man. This is, this is almost like, would you rather go to a three hour PD or do a kids bop after school hour? Oh my gosh. I, I, I think I know, I think I’m gonna still go with the three hour ceremony.

Christa Innis: Oh, I

Colleen Borgert: know. At least. At least it’s quiet.

Christa Innis: least it’s quiet. Oh my gosh. I think I would go kids b really? Every once in a while. I don’t know if it’s ’cause of my, my daughter’s too. And so every once in a while, like I get really into those kids bumps. I mean, we, I mean they, they are catchy. They’re, they’re catchy. Luckily she’s really into Wicked now.

So we listen to the Wicked soundtrack, but play, I love it. But, uh, I love a good, you know, Disney, so I don’t know about Kids. Bop we’ll see how that would go. But I

Colleen Borgert: think it’s because when I imagine kids bop, like I imagine like kindergartners. All up on me, you know, like jamming with me with their hands going down, you know, like yeah.

That’s just the vision that I have from the experiences. So yours and mine, maybe a little different.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Different vibe. Yeah. Um, would you rather sit at the all singles table with ex students? Oh, ex students’ parents, or be seated next to the couple’s ex.

Colleen Borgert: Oh my gosh. I, I actually would take the parent table for sure.

Yeah. Without a doubt. I have been really blessed with wonderful parents and that’s, you know, I did eight years in public school and I’m still connected to so many of my public school parents that I love and adore. And the last like five years in the Catholic school system, like I just, I’ve been really lucky, so.

Oh good. I bet that table’s really fun. Signed up. Yeah.

Christa Innis: And like all those parents, like letting loose. I bet it would be like a great table,

Colleen Borgert: right?

Christa Innis: Yes. Love that. A

Colleen Borgert: for everybody. Yes.

Bridesmaid Dress Drama

Christa Innis: Okay. Would you rather wear a neon bridesmaid dress that clashes with your skin tone or have the name, or have your name spelled wrong on every wedding program?

Colleen Borgert: Oh my goodness. So I am the worst speller in the world. I can totally see me misspelling something in my own wedding. I, I probably did to be honest. Um. I also wore the wrong colored bridesmaid’s dress in my cousin’s wedding two years ago. So I’ve done that as well. Um, but I’m still gonna have to go with if that bride wants me to wear, you know, the worst color in the world.

But she is like, this is my vision. I’ve I’ve got you.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Colleen Borgert: I’m, I’m ride or die for the bride. So you,

Christa Innis: you strike me as someone that would be like a really great bridesmaid. Like, you’re like hands on. You’re like, what do you need? I got you. Like, I just get that vibe from you.

Colleen Borgert: Well, until, until literally you see that I bought, I bought the wrong color, which is before we’re walking down the aisle.

So there when you’re

Christa Innis: walking down the aisle,

Colleen Borgert: oh my gosh. We walked into like the get ready room where all the dresses are hanging up. Yeah. And the maid of honor comes up to me and she’s like, oh, Pauline. Have you seen your dress? And I’m like, yeah, it’s hanging up. It’s so cute. She’s like, it’s the wrong color.

So everyone had gotten like a, a, a shade of sage. Okay. And mine was just a different shade of sage green. And

Christa Innis: you could tell So it from different like places or like, she told you like, oh, get it sage. And just sent like a picture of what she liked and then everyone just went and got thrown or, so I

Colleen Borgert: confirmed via text and I’ve always got receipts.

I pulled that out and before I bought it I was like, this is the color correct. And she said, correct. But the bride, my cousin, she was so relaxed. She’s like, I don’t care. You know, ’cause I’m crying at this point. Aw. She’s like, I don’t care. You’re walking down the aisle. You know, I’m like, I’ll stand in the back.

I don’t have to be in the wedding. Like, oh,

Christa Innis: was it that different?

Colleen Borgert: Um, it was like one shade lighter. You, you could,

Christa Innis: you could tell,

Colleen Borgert: you could tell I ruined the wedding pictures for sure. Oh. But you know, this is the family. She was a great, I mean, she’s just a great person, so I got really lucky. Um, but yeah, if the bride needs me, whatever the bride needs me to do, I’m gonna do it.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. I, you know, I feel like, especially now too, it’s like I’ve seen it more weddings where the bridesmaid dresses don’t exactly match. I know. I actually love that. Yeah, I know. I feel like it’s like adding a little more uniqueness. I think, like at my wedding it was like, um, from, from Birdie Gray, which is like, you can order them all online, they’re under a hundred dollars and you just, you can pick like a color scheme.

So like, mine was like mov, but there’s like three shades of mov and people are like, what color? I’m like, I don’t care. Any of the, any of them. Any of them,

Colleen Borgert: they’re gonna look so pretty.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I just feel like. It, I feel like gone are the days where people wear the exact same dress. Right. Maybe every, I’m sure it happens here and there, but

Colleen Borgert: Yeah.

And in my wedding, um, I just did black satin. All the girls just had to do a black satin and it needed to be like t length and didn’t care other than that, so yeah, it was really unique. Like I just, I, I love the non-uniform look. Yeah. And that’s probably the Catholic school teacher in me coming out being like, eh, we don’t need a uniform up in here.

We’re

Wedding Party Love Story

Christa Innis: done with the uniforms, please. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Okay. Let’s move into some wedding hot takes and stories. You said you have a story of how you met your husband at a wedding, so let’s get into that.

Colleen Borgert: Okay, so I met Mr. Borger. Uh, we were both in the same wedding party for my cousin almost 16 years ago.

And, um, he kind of clocked me right away and was like, that’s the girl I wanna marry. So we got to the reception, danced a little bit. Um, there was definite connection early on. We both went our own ways. Um, the next week he called my cousin, old school, got my number, called me on the telephone. I heard this man’s voice who does that anymore?

So un heard of these days. I know. And he asked me out on a date and we have been together ever since. But yeah, he went up to my cousin who was the bride, and said, I just want you to know I’m gonna marry that girl. And

Christa Innis: oh my gosh, that’s like a romantic story.

Colleen Borgert: I know I love, love.

Christa Innis: Oh my God. So how is he connected to the wedding?

Like was he like a groomsmen or He was the fiance’s or fiance, I guess your cousin’s husband.

Colleen Borgert: Yes, friend. He was, um, a longtime childhood friend of the groom. Okay. So now they get to be at family functions together and we’re like pretty our kids together. So it’s. It’s wonderful.

Christa Innis: I love that when like, they’re already kind of like connected, so there’s like no extra introduction.

It’s like he’s already kind of, you got an in, he’s got an in. Mm-hmm. Um, and then for you, it was a family wedding, so your family was probably already there. And so like did he like meet your parents then at the wedding and everything?

Colleen Borgert: Um, I don’t know if he necessarily like, met them, met them at the wedding.

Yeah. But he was invested in the fun that my family can have for sure. We are in good time, so I love that. Yeah, he, he was there for it.

Christa Innis: Oh, that’s awesome. I love that story. ’cause like, usually when I ask people like crazy stories, they’re like, I mean, I, I kind of put people, I try to not put people on the spot, but, um, I.

I love that it was like a positive good story. Yes. Because I always tell people, I’m like, people just remember these crazy moments. That’s why I share them. But like for the most part, like there are so many great wedding stories and like fun moments and just like, just like wild moments about, you know, yes.

Things hanging out. Um. Awesome. I love that.

The Great Wedding Dinner Debate

Okay, let’s get into some wedding hot takes. Okay. These are people send me on Instagram. We’ll just kind of react together and see uh, what our thoughts are. Okay. This one says buffets over plated dinners faster, more variety and fewer awkward chicken and steak texts.

I dunno what the text means, but,

oh, I just copied something. Yeah. Fewer awkward chicken and steak dinners.

Colleen Borgert: So are, are you asking which one do I prefer?

Christa Innis: It’s just a hot take that someone sent, so, yeah, I mean, you can say what you think about it. Um,

Colleen Borgert: so there, there was one summer, um, like my husband and I had been married for maybe like two years, and we legit had 10 weddings from like May until September.

Like mm-hmm. He’s five years older than me, so my friends were in like prime time wedding season. Mm-hmm. And it was almost every single wedding had the same chicken with that white gravy. I think it might. Oh yeah. Like on top with the mashed potatoes and everybody thinks that they’re doing something special when they’re not, you know, like it’s just boring.

But one of our friends catered in Qdoba at their wedding. And I have never forgotten it. Like, I have never forgotten the Qdoba wedding. And I hope that if this airs they hear this and they know how special their Qdoba wedding was to me. So, you know, I’m a, I’m a fan of a buffet, you know, poor girl from a poor neighborhood.

We loved our buffets growing up. Um, so I don’t mind a good buffet at a wedding.

Christa Innis: I know. I was just saying to someone, like when I was younger at weddings, I was like, like years from getting married, I was like, oh yeah, I wouldn’t, I don’t think I would do a buffet. I like the plated dinner. And then as I got older I was like, I love a buffet.

Like I just love it. And then of course when I got married I did a taco bar and I was like, this is where it’s at. Oh, you did the, you did

Colleen Borgert: the taco. There are people that came to your wedding that 20 years from now are gonna be like, I went to a taco of our wedding and it’s going to be you girl. Yeah. That is the wedding that they are referencing.

It’s yours.

Christa Innis: I was just like, I. Never really was a big fan of plated dinners unless they’re like, I don’t know, every once in a while. Yeah. Like surprised me. Really good. But I also worked at a hotel for, gosh, three years in college. So like I would saw all the banquet foods and I saw them and not like saying they were gross or anything, but like I saw how they would keep ’em warm and I just, I don’t know, just not my thing.

And so I was like, when there’s a buffet though, you take what you want. Maybe go for seconds, get a little guacamole in there. We’re good.

Colleen Borgert: Yes. I’m here for it. I’m here for it. And I love that you did. I can’t believe it. You did Taco. I know. You’re

Christa Innis: seko. Dopa. I was like, yes. It was pretty close. It was like a local place, but it was like, it was perfect.

Like perfect.

Colleen Borgert: Yes. Yeah. And people appreciate it.

Christa Innis: And pizza for a late night snack. Yes.

Colleen Borgert: The, the best weddings that bring out that 11:00 PM like fill your belly up snack. The best.

First Dance or Skip It?

Christa Innis: Yes. Oh, it’s the best. Um, okay. This next one says, not every wedding needs a first dance. Some couples just wanna party, so let them

Colleen Borgert: I agree.

Like if you don’t want to do it, don’t do it. This is your special day. Who am I to say that you have to do something to make me feel special or this whole thing makes sense. Yeah. That doesn’t make any sense to me.

Christa Innis: I know, and I’ve heard of like parents like fighting back on it and being like, no, you need this.

And it’s like they don’t wanna be the center of attention. They don’t want that big moment. It like, it’s okay. Like no one should be forced to do anything at their wedding that they aren’t comfortable with, or that just doesn’t interest them.

Colleen Borgert: Right. Did you do a first dance.

Christa Innis: I did. Yes, we did

Colleen Borgert: too. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love it.

I love, I love a first dance. Yeah.

Christa Innis: But if they

Colleen Borgert: don’t want it, they don’t want it.

Christa Innis: Yeah. A hundred percent. We did a choreo, I’m gonna mess up the word choreographed. We practiced ourself.

Colleen Borgert: Oh my gosh. We are not

Christa Innis: dancers either of us. I’m not. Okay. So when are you posting that to TikTok? I might have years ago.

I’m trying to think. I might have to repost it. I’m gonna get my scroll game

Colleen Borgert: on. I know. I

Christa Innis: gotta think about what I posted it. Um, probably not in a long time ’cause people were like asking about it once I, so we watched YouTube because I was like, okay, one lesson I always learn brides, if you’re listening was take some kind of dance course.

You don’t have to like pay for it. If you are doing a first dance, you don’t have to like pay for it. There’s free ones on YouTube, right. Um, and so we started doing that, like just to learn like the steps. So we, because I’ve gone to so many weddings where you can tell they’ve literally never danced together.

Right. They stand there and they just like look awkward. They just sway and they’re

Colleen Borgert: like leaving lots of room for Jesus. You know? It’s

Christa Innis: like, come on guys. Like let’s not have that first time you guys ever like, get in a room, dance together, be like in a, in front of a hundred people. Right? Right. So like I knew I didn’t want that awkward moment.

So like, we did like our step practicing and then as we were watching, or like YouTube, it was like suggestive videos and it was like Taylor Swift, uh, oh gosh, what song is it? Oh my gosh. I sounds, is her, this is her first dance. Yeah. Why am I drawing a blank? Ah, it’s Taylor. Um, oh, now I’m gonna like, have to like find it ’cause it’s gonna really bother me.

Um, but it’ll come to you in a few minutes

Colleen Borgert: and if not divorce will come. It’ll be

Christa Innis: fine. It’ll be fine.

Colleen Borgert: We’ll just pick your voice in. It’s

Christa Innis: can, I’m gonna sing it and I can’t sing. Can I go where we can? I can’t sing. Hold on, hold on. I’m a swifty. Give it to me. Be this clo forever and ever. And, and take me. Huh?

And with a, that called you’re my, my lover. Lover. Lover. I knew we’d get there eventually. Yeah. Okay. So it was to lover.

Colleen Borgert: Love that. Yeah. And there was a

Christa Innis: really cute dance on YouTube and they showed what to do. So we did like a little spin. He like picked me up in the end. Oh. And we didn’t tell anyone we were doing it.

So it was likes you

Colleen Borgert: had like your, um, baby moment from dirty dancing where he like Yeah.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Little less graceful than that, but Yeah.

Colleen Borgert: But I do love that you told brides that they could just get on YouTube, like they don’t have to spend their money. Yeah. Just hop on YouTube. Yeah. I, I love that you remind people of that it, it doesn’t have to break the bank to be special.

Christa Innis: Yeah, exactly. Like, we literally did it in our, in our apartment living room and we just practiced like every week. I think we was like, Monday nights we’re gonna practice our dance. Yay. Okay.

No Ring, No Bring and the Reality of Guest Lists

Um, next one is no bring, no ring, no bring is totally fair. Sorry to your new hinge date of two weeks. What are your thoughts on No ring, no bring.

Colleen Borgert: Oh my thought. Okay. So my husband, my husband did not get invited to a second cousin of mine’s wedding. We were not engaged. We got engaged the next month. Okay. And during the time I was like, I can’t believe they won’t let me bring him. Like, why would they not? Mm-hmm. And now that I have children of my own and I see the cost of things and I, I see more of like that behind the curtain.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. I

Colleen Borgert: can see that and I can respect it for what it is now. Yeah. I tell you. But when I was in the moment, it felt like, oh, my partner isn’t allowed to be here, but I, I can understand it now. I can respect it now.

Christa Innis: Yeah. No, I, I totally get that. I had a similar thing, it was my second cousin’s wedding. Gosh, I don’t even know how long ago it was.

My hu Now husband and I were just dating, but we were living together for years and they like invited, it was weird. It was like they invited all of us, but like they put like, I can’t remember, there was something weird about it, but like, we were like, oh, um, I don’t, I didn’t, I didn’t know if they like, didn’t know his name or something like, weird, but like I had been with him like longer than this couple had been.

So like they’d met him many times. Like, this is your person at this point box. Yeah. This is like very clearly my person. Yeah. Like he like plus one of the other weddings in the family, like, he’d been to their house and then this second cousin, it was like a fairly like quick like, which no hate or anything.

Of course. That’s, that’s awesome. Right. But it was fairly quick. So like, they had been together like a short time and like he wasn’t invited and I was like, oh, I’m just making sure. Yeah. And again, now looking back, I’m like, we were not that. I was not like super close with them. So I was like, I get it. And I ended up just going with my mom and my sister.

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. Which, you know, tho those can be fun times too. And it was fun, you know, like unexpected fun moments without, you know, the old ball and chain that, that’s fun too. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I do think there’s a difference between, you know, you had been dating your now boyfriend for years and I was almost engaged versus like, oh, two weeks ago I met Jimmy, you know, down at the gas station.

Yeah. Can he come too? Yeah. Like that’s

Christa Innis: different to me. I know. I just read this crazy Reddit story this morning where it was like. This girl was demanding to be invited to her boyfriend of a few months wedding, like, or his friend’s wedding. And she, he was like, oh, I don’t get a plus one. And she’s like, well, I’m your girlfriend.

I should be able to go. And he’s like, well, they didn’t gimme one. I’m a groomsman. I don’t really wanna start anything. And she’s like, no, if you like really like me, you need to like bring me. And that’s where I’m like, it’s only three months. Mm-hmm. He’s probably only least friends for years. I don’t see like where, why you have to automatically give a plus one.

Right. I agree. I agree with that. It’s very, it’s very nuanced. I think in a lot of it, it’s not all black and white. It’s kind of like each individual thing is gonna have different. Rules. Right?

Colleen Borgert: Like we, we didn’t do kids at our wedding. We had a no kid wedding. Um, but our final total, even after we got all the nos for our RSVPs, we were up to like 370 people with no children.

Woo. Like, you know, and that is hard for people to grasp too, you know, like, what do you mean I can’t bring my kids?

Christa Innis: Yeah. But when

Colleen Borgert: you are from such a ginormous family like you. When you eliminate those kids, you’re able to say, okay, my second cousins can now come and, you know. Yeah. So I think we have to remember to pull back the curtain on everything and kind of say there, there’s always more back there than what we initially think.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. 375 people,

Colleen Borgert: too many.

Christa Innis: That is insane. It, it was like 360 people. Too many. Let me tell you, if you were to do it again, do you think you would do it a lot smaller?

Colleen Borgert: I would do it. I would do it so differently. I I would do it smaller. More intimate. Intimate. Is that inter intimate? Intimate. In intimate?

I kinda like intimate, but it’s intimate. Intimate, you know what I mean? I, yeah. I would make it, it would be much smaller, quaint, and just a few close people, and I would probably want to do a surprise. And just if you wanted to show up at this random thing I invited you to, you get to come to my way. Oh, I love that.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I love that. I know, I think it’s like with age, we’re kind of like, because I always tell people if I were to get married in my early twenties or something, I think I would’ve gone way too big. Invited way too many people. Mm-hmm. And you know, like I had just been outta college or something, so I’d probably had like all my college friends.

Yes. My bridesmaids. And it’s like now here I am, like 15 years or ish out of college and I’m like doing the quick math out of college and I’m like. Half those people I don’t even talk to anymore. So I’m like, I’m, I would not have wanted them at the wedding. ’cause then they’re gonna be all these pictures like, you know?

Right. And that’s exactly how it,

Colleen Borgert: you know, and, and I’m blessed and lucky and it’s easy for me to be, to say now, like, oh, I would do it differently. But that’s because I got that moment. Mm-hmm. You know, I got the big moment of, you know, all my friends, all my family. But yeah. I don’t talk to the majority of the people that were there at no fault of theirs or mine life.

Just, I’m just, yeah. You know, just happens. Mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: Did you get pushback with the no kids at your wedding?

Colleen Borgert: I did. There were a couple people that gave me pushback. Um, a couple family members and a couple friends. Uh, one of my bridesmaids had had her daughter like two weeks before the ceremony, so she brought her daughter to like, feed her parents came like, things like that didn’t bother me.

Yeah. But if I knew if I am, if I let. One family bring their two kids, then the next family had, and then before you know it, it’s 500 people. Right. And you know, so it’s not that the children, it was more so just I needed the number as low as possible to be able to invite all those people I no longer see anymore.

Christa Innis: Right. And then you wanted to be equal playing ground for everybody. Right. For everybody. Totally makes sense. Yeah. That’s one thing people don’t realize. And a lot of the stories I get, it’s like, they’re like, just make me the exception. Oh, my kids are fine. It’s like, well, you don’t understand if I let you bring your two kids and then yours.

And then I read a story the other day where an aunt was told it was just the aunt and uncle, and then she RSVP’d for. Her adult children who are four kids, their significant others and their kids. So, so she wrote in on the card 15 or something, extra people.

Colleen Borgert: I can’t

Christa Innis: like you’re not talking to one extra person.

You’re talking three extra tables. Two extra tables,

Colleen Borgert: yeah. Like in, in, in what world and in what mind does that aunt think that that is okay? Like I can’t wrap my mind around people that do things like that. But there’s people out there that do it. Mm-hmm. All the time. Yes. It’s crazy.

Christa Innis: It’s, it’s again that mind frame of me.

This, this is, this is gonna affect me if I can’t do it this way, or Oh, it’s fine. Right. I’m the exception. She loves me so much. Yeah. I’m her favorite aunt. Yeah. Yeah. And it’s so funny ’cause when I like do these skits, people are, I’m like, when I’m like acting them out, I’m like, oh gosh, this is so dramatic.

I’m making this 10 times worse than it probably is. And people will comment and they’ll be like, no, that exact thing happened to me. Or like, that is exactly what, yeah. Talk that way. Yeah. I’m just like, oh man, this is wild. Okay, speaking of before we get too over on our time, so are you still, are we still okay on time?

Yeah, I, I’m, I’m good. Okay. Let’s get into this week’s wedding story submission. So, as always, I’ve not read this yet, so feel free to stop me at any time and react or we’ll just kind of react together. Okay. Here we go. Okay. Let me see if I get my scroll. Okay, here we go. Here.

Bridesmaid Meets Her Groom’s Family

Hello Krista. I just wanna say I love your skits.

I have a story that still blows my mind years later. I’m not sure if it’s juicy enough to be considered drama, but it was wild for sure. Back in October of 2013, I started dating a man who was seven years older than me. I was 23 and he was 30. He had a younger sister who was exactly one month older than me.

She was the baby of the family and never did anything wrong in their eyes. She was also a teacher, which becomes important later because I’d always been, I’d always wanted to be an elementary school teacher, but had to pay for college on my own. Most of his family lived in New York or Florida, which also plays a role later.

Okay,

Colleen Borgert: hold on. So we’ve got a 30-year-old man. Mm-hmm. Dating a 23-year-old.

Christa Innis: 20. 23-year-old? Yes. Okay. And sister, who’s also 23 is my Okay. Teacher. Got it. Out of state relatives? Yes. Okay. By May, 2014, my then boyfriend had been in and out of the hospital several times for various issues, even having surgery to remove his appendix.

He thanked me for being by his side through everything and bought me a nice coach bag to show his appreciation. I had never owned a designer purse before. Then he asked my youngest sister for help, for help planning something my sister knew. I absolutely hated surprises and told me he wanted to propose and ask for suggestions.

So she’s just like, this is what he wants to do. Okay. I’m like, at what point? Okay, wait, so may They met in October, 2013 by May, 2014. So is it like a year and. No, not even, no, that’s just like six months. Oh, that’s like six months later.

Colleen Borgert: November, December, January, February. Yeah, that’s like five, six months. Oh, wow.

Okay. Okay. We are going, went

Christa Innis: along. Okay. Uh, then he asked. Okay. She gave him several ideas, so I wouldn’t know which one he’d pick or when it would happen. He also asked my biological dad for permission, which was odd because I’d always been closer with my mom. Okay. Mm-hmm. You would think he would know that, but maybe not in five months.

I mean only six months. Who knows? Who knows? Yeah. In 24, in June, 2014, he proposed and I said, yes, his youngest sister. Okay, so now his youngest sister planned a visit to our town in July, 2014 to see one of her guy friends. Okay. He messaged her brother. Okay. I’m like drawing my head. Yeah. Oh yeah. Duh. Oh my gosh.

Saying she wanted to see him and meet me. Okay. So they hadn’t met.

Colleen Borgert: And she’s getting ma. Okay. So she has yet to meet even his family at this point?

Christa Innis: Yeah, and they’re engaged. So she’s just kind of, okay. So she was just giving us background on the sister, but at this point they hadn’t even met. So he meets this girl and proposes in six months.

She hasn’t met the family. Maybe they don’t live, comes in town. Right. So she comes in town when she wants to meet. We planned everything around her visit, but when she arrived, she met up with her friend and blew us off.

Colleen Borgert: Oh, okay. To this.

Christa Innis: Oh, it gets better. I have never met her

Colleen Borgert: to this day. Hold on. Pause.

Pause one. They’re still together. I don’t, well, I don’t know if she

Christa Innis: just wrote to this day. I’ve never met her. Oh, oh. So I’m like really confused, like, is this, we’re talking 11 years later. And that 2014, unless I’m reading, is

Colleen Borgert: weird, flabbergasted. Like, so there’s nothing to indicate if the, if they are still together, except the phrase.

To this day, I still have not met her.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I’m gonna see. Let’s see. Okay. Let’s see what happens next. But I’m pretty sure she means like she just blew her off that time and then that was it. I don’t know. Okay. She says we set our wedding date for Saturday, October 25th, 2014. So about a year after they met, no one from his family was able to attend.

Oh.

Colleen Borgert: Red. Is that a red, is that a flag for you? I think it’s

Christa Innis: a red flag. Yeah. That’s a why. Okay. So Sister blew, blew them off, doesn’t go to meet her. And then no one from his family can just make it right. That, that seems red. That’s red flag. Red flags are everywhere for me. They’re, they’re popping. I’m sorry to this.

I mean, I don’t know what happens next. So, I’m sorry to this person that, that sent this in, but I’m just like, this is all very fast. Yeah. And weird that his family can’t show up.

Colleen Borgert: Right. And I think the, the, the age is like, the red flags are like popping and I’m like, hold on a second. So I’m excited to hear what comes next.

Yes. ’cause I’m trying to put it all together in my mind.

Christa Innis: Yeah, same. I know I’ve got like the family tree going on right here. Yeah, drawing here. Um, okay. Um, so no one from his family was able to attend, but they planned to watch the ceremony live on his sister and like, oh,

Colleen Borgert: 2014, is that like what on, like, how do you watch it live in 2014?

Yeah,

Christa Innis: because Facebook Did you like Zoom? Like I don’t even remember Facebook Live in 2014 because was I in 2014? Oh, I was having a baby. Okay, you’re like where? Yeah, I was having a baby. You were. But yeah. How do you I don’t know because I remember, okay, I was working at trade show. I honestly think it was 2014 at my fir, one of my first jobs outta college.

And they, my manager, I worked in marketing and she was like, look at this new app where you can live stream. And I remember her showing me, and that was before like Facebook Lives and stuff, because then I think it was bought by Facebook. So that may some, she had something, she had something, something maybe even like FaceTime and can you, you could FaceTime then, right?

I don’t even know. I

Colleen Borgert: feel like I still had a flip phone back then. Like with the A, B, C texting, you know, like, dun, dun dun. Oh my gosh. You had to hit it like three. I mean, you’re so young. Did you ever have a phone like that? I’m not that much younger than you, honestly. Oh, you look amazing Ellie. How you tell me you’re younger than me?

I’m turning 35 this year. Okay. Yes. You are a baby. You are a baby.

Christa Innis: Is that what, five years? That’s not seven. Seven. I, it’s funny though. I see seven. Oh, okay. Well, I don’t know. Yeah, it’s all, it’s alright. It’s all I feel like you’re at, I’m at the age where like. I, I was gonna say I have friends in their twenties, but I’m like, I don’t, I guess I have some friends in their twenties, but I have friends in their four, you know, like it’s Right.

You’re

Colleen Borgert: now to the point where you can go both sides.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I mean, I had an hour long conversation with my like 85-year-old neighbor last night and it was the best, like, I love chatting with her and so I’m like, I just, age doesn’t matter to me. Yeah. But, um, it’s funny, I like see 2014 and it also feels like yesterday and then I’m like, wait a second.

I have to remind myself, we’re like in the 20. That was a long time ago. Yeah, it was a while ago. Oh my gosh. Um, okay, she says, um, then on his sister’s birthday, September 26th, we’re giving some personal details though, so hopefully they don’t listen to this. Um, he was in the hospital again. I had no cell service and was too focused on my fiance.

The next day I reached out to her, to which, her belated happy birthday. So I’m confused. So. She says they never met. Maybe they just mean in person. So she talked to her. I think she has to meet in person. I,

Colleen Borgert: yeah, because she came in town in July, the sister blew her off.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Colleen Borgert: And then I’m thinking September he gets sick.

And then the wedding is in October.

Christa Innis: Yeah. That’s what it sounds like.

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. So, so they just haven’t met in person. They’re a, B, C, texting each other, right?

Christa Innis: Yeah. On their flip list. Texting. Yeah. So, okay. So she reached out to Wisher, um, a belated happy birthday and apologized for missing it the day before. She completely lost it on me, calling me a horrible person for ignoring her on her birthday.

Colleen Borgert: No hard pass.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like, we’re not like five or six years old where we like, you know, you are at this point, if she was praying like 24, like you can survive one

Colleen Borgert: day.

Christa Innis: Right. And your brother’s in the hospital. Mm-hmm.

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. Like, yeah. That’s, that’s another flag flags.

Christa Innis: Huge red flag. Yes. Where, where are his parents in all of this?

Like, right, like she hasn’t really mentioned them except that they’re just not coming. They’re not coming. Which is weird ’cause it says family’s in New York and Florida. They’re in, um, Kansas City. It says. Okay. Then she insulted me saying she was a teacher and I was too dumb to finish college and get my teaching license.

Oh no. Just missing a birthday by one day and being with your brother in the hospital.

Colleen Borgert: Oh no. College. If you go to college, it does not make you any smarter than anybody else. I don’t get that many Gives, gives you a set of tools to be able to do a job. It doesn’t equate to being smarter than anybody.

Right?

Christa Innis: Yeah. And don’t, I just don’t get that mentality of like mm-hmm. Oh, I went to college and you didn’t, it’s like you probably went to college ’cause you had either a privilege to go to college, right? You had funds to go to college. You had, you don’t, you don’t know the full story of, and you’ll just choose not to.

And that it’s ally. Okay. And there’s no one’s smarter if we’re going or not going. Right? Oh

Colleen Borgert: yeah. That, that would, that would be like a, like I would feel that as a knife. Mm-hmm. Like that, that comment to me that that would stay with me. I feel like I’d carry that for a while.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh, for sure. Um, it says, after that she blocked me on everything.

My fiance was upset for a moment and then defended her saying That’s just who she is, and she’ll come around soon. Soon enough. No, someone that says that they’re not coming around Uhuh. And that’s also like, that is your

Colleen Borgert: fiance.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Colleen Borgert: This is the person that you’re getting ready to say I do too. And you’re just, he’s just gonna be okay with people being mean to you.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And see, this is where, again, I don’t know the rest of the story, so I’m sorry if it works out a different way, but like, I hope, I don’t know, maybe it doesn’t work out, but like someone that like jumped the gun really quickly to someone that was much younger than him and was like, let’s move fast. Six months from now we’re getting engaged.

My family’s not gonna be there. I don’t know. I’m getting some bad vibes and I don’t, yes. So

Colleen Borgert: I live by the rule that whoever you date, if you can subtract that amount of years and you wind up under the age of 18, it, it shouldn’t happen

Christa Innis: yet. You know? So, so if you subtract her age by their distance Yes.

Yeah. Of seven years.

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. Then I’m like, Hmm, that’s, that’s icky to me a little bit. Mm-hmm. You know, not to say that it, it, it won’t work out, and I hope that it did, and I hope that they’re happy. But that age gap, the, the life experiences that people have are so vastly different. Yeah. You know, a 30-year-old to a 37-year-old, they’ve had a lot of similar life experiences.

You know, you minus that number and it’s like, okay, they’ve been a, a grown adult for a long time, so it’s not necessarily the number that I get. Tripped up on. Yeah, it is. How much life experience is attached

Christa Innis: to those numbers? No, that’s a really, that’s a really good point. ’cause people are always like, well, my parents are this or that.

And it’s like, it’s a good point of like, well, when did they meet? How did they meet? What, what were they at in their life? Right. Um, ’cause yeah, I’m thinking like 23. Like, I was like freshly. I mean, I graduated at 23, so I was like, freshly outta college 30. Like, you’ve been in the, you know, job field for a while.

Colleen Borgert: Yes. And you know what you want in life, you know, and you know this man, he may be like, yeah, that, that’s the woman that I want. I’m going after her. You know, I’m, I’m gonna, I’m gonna get her. But was she ready for that? Could she see the red flag of hey, your fiance. He is not supporting you right now. And I think that that comes with life experience, you know, just growing into your own as a woman and, and the value that you bring to the table, you know?

Yeah. So, I don’t

Christa Innis: know. It’s a little, Hmm. Yeah, it’s a little, um, interesting. Okay. She says she never watched our wedding. Okay. So they got married and to this day, I haven’t spoken to her since September 27th, 2014. So we’re talking about 11 years. So they

Colleen Borgert: got married still. I’m so happy that they are happy.

I wanna put that out into the universe, but I’m still so confused.

Christa Innis: Well, there is still more. Oh, okay. Let’s go something. We can see what, what’s so, but she, so she said she hasn’t spoken to her. I even visited their mother’s house Oh, oh. In New York in February of 2015 where she lived. I still never saw or heard from her.

Interesting. She lived there and then didn’t show up.

Colleen Borgert: You refused to come by

Christa Innis: in November. Here we go. In November, 2014, I asked for a divorce and thanked his dad and stepmom for trying to help us through our marriage troubles. I I, can I give a I knew it. I was like, can I applaud it? Like, yes girl. I just,

Colleen Borgert: you know, and maybe it was the sister, maybe she was looking at it all being like, I can’t support this.

Like, I can’t, but No, no. Nope. I can’t validate that sister’s comment in my mind. The comment I

Christa Innis: tried. Yeah, I know. We were trying to be like, I know. And it’s like, where does that come from though? Either like where I’ve, I have a lot of questions still too. Um, it says his stepmom threatened to have his dad, my now ex father-in-law.

End my life if I ever contacted her son again. What? Because she asked for a divorce that just a whole family sounds very toxic. And red flag. She

Colleen Borgert: dodged a bullet. Like literally it sounds like she dodged a bullet. Yeah. Because the mom is like, I’m gonna enter your life. So she

Christa Innis: also very threatening, like Right.

Trolling maybe?

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. No, that, that whole 30 to 23, my flag went up immediately. I knew it. Mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: You, I, I saw your face too. And you’re like, wait, so she’s 23? He’s 30 there. Oh, six months later they went. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Um, so they were married for, wait, they weren’t even married a month because it says their wedding date was set for October 25th.

She filed for divorce in November, so it wasn’t even a full month.

Colleen Borgert: Oh my like, okay. Does she include like, where am I now? Like, do we get to heal? Hear like the healing part of all of this because, um,

Christa Innis: no, but there’s a little bit more. Okay. Because like a little more of a paragraph. Let’s see. Um, it says we got back together for a little while, but never spoke to his dad, stepmom or sister again.

I later found out his older siblings were annoyed at how much their younger sibling, younger sister got away with. I mean, at 24 she threw a fit because her brother was in the hospital and I wished her happy birthday a day late. It wasn’t like I’d forgotten entirely. Side note, I graduated a few years later after divorcing her abusive brother.

Okay, now we’re getting a little more of the context. Yes. And I’m working on my master’s degree. I also ended up teaching for a few years.

Colleen Borgert: Yay. Yes, queen. I love that. That was

Christa Innis: a happy ending because you know what? You saw your worth and you saw like, I went out of this situation and I’m glad. It was not even a month that you were just like, you know what?

I’m out. And I hope this is a lesson too for people listening that like, ’cause I’ve had, I’ve had friends before that are like, well, everything’s already paid for. We have to go through the wedding. It’s like, it’s never too late. Like just if you are in a bad relationship, it’s okay. Like it’s Right. Or Yeah.

Colleen Borgert: And, and that goes like both ways too. Like as a boy mom, having only boys, like I want them to know that as well. Like they bring worth to the table too. And they need to be love and respected. And if they need me to fake a heart attack as I’m lighting that wedding candle so that they can run out of the back door, I, ugh, I will do it.

I will do it for them. It’s never too late for happiness.

Christa Innis: Yes. No, I totally agree. I feel like we, obviously, we don’t know the full situation here, but the fact that she threw in that he was abusive, abusive. Which I kind of got the vibe he was controlling or something because of, you know, the moving so quickly and, um, him being a lot older.

But, um, yeah, that, I mean, that’s, that’s a scary situation. So always knowing in your gut or like listening to your gut about it. I hope she had someone on her side that was like, Hey, this doesn’t seem right. Right. ’cause it sounds like they went to his, his dad and stepmom for like, helping through marital issues.

So I don’t know if she had anyone on her side that was like, Hey, this guy is not right for you. Like this Also having Yeah. Also having that like third party, like, I know like, as like, you know, you, it’s nice that his parents were willing to help, but I feel like they should probably have had like a th like a therapist or something come in and Right.

Really sit them down Yeah. And be like,

Colleen Borgert: this is what we’re looking at here.

Christa Innis: Yeah. But I’m glad she got out of that because that could be very bad.

Colleen Borgert: Oh my gosh, yes. Like I, and again, it’s that life experience. Like you just don’t know. At such a young age, sometimes you do, but most part, like, you just, you don’t know what you don’t know.

Yeah. And it’s hard to see those things until that frontal lobe is developed, which is like 25, you know? So wild.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. It’s wild how like, at least like my grandparents’ age, it’s like they were like married, having kids like 19, 20, and that was like what they were expected to do. And they went to college to get their MRS and they, you know, that was their job.

Mm-hmm. And it’s just Wow. ’cause they were still children in my eyes. I’m like, you’re at 19, 20, 21. Like, you’re still a kid, right.

Colleen Borgert: You’re just a baby. Like you are still a, I’m still folding clothes for my college kid. I’m like, there’s no way you can get married right now. Like. I am folding your t-shirts for you.

Like the, it’s, you’re not ready. You’re not ready.

Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s, it’s wild. Um, well that was a wild story. Thank you to this person for sending that in because I think, um, it was a different kind of story that we’ve got, you know, and I think it’s good to kind of get all the angles of these kind of stories, and I’m really proud of you.

So, yeah.

Maid of Honor Regrets & MIL Drama

Colleen Borgert: Good job writer in person. What do you call the, what do you call, like submitter?

Christa Innis: Um, yeah, story submitter or like, I usually like online, I’ll say like op, like original or original poster, but I guess they’re not really posting it. They’re just sending it to me, so, yeah. Writer in.

Colleen Borgert: Good job. Writer in.

We’re proud of you. Yeah,

Christa Innis: we got, we’ve got great grammar over here. Oh my gosh. The number. It’s really in intimate, intimate over here. Intimate. Which honestly intimate. I think you could do something with that. Like I see, I, I worked in marketing the past like 13 years, so I always think of things you could do a mint at wedding.

It’s called an intimate, intimate listening. Oh, it’s so

Colleen Borgert: intimate here. I love it. If you’re listening, do it and then tag me in it so I can see all of your love.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh, I love it. Okay. I always end these on, um, a couple of confessions that people send in. So let’s read these and then we’ll get on with our days.

Okay. Okay. Um, let’s see.

Okay. This says, I kind of regret who I picked to be my maid of honor. I would’ve still had her as a bridesmaid, but yeah.

Colleen Borgert: Oh, I, I think that’s normal. You know, we kind of touched on that earlier. Just your life just changes and unfolds in different ways that you just don’t know how you’re going to need different people, and it’s okay that she was that person in your life, in that moment and that it might be someone different right now.

Like, it’s okay that both of those happened, and both of those can be true.

Christa Innis: Yeah, and I’m, I’m kind of reading it as she hasn’t gotten married yet, and she like asked them, that’s how I’m reading, but maybe I’m reading it wrong. Like, she has, she asked them to be in the wedding and so like the wedding’s coming up, but they’re like, and she wants to take it back and like, maybe it’s like the maid of honor’s not really stepping up, but I think that’s too, it’s like.

Expectations and communication too. Or maybe that maid of honor just doesn’t really know what to do or, you know. Right. Or you’re just not as close with that person. It’s hard.

Colleen Borgert: It, yeah. It’s hard and you don’t wanna hurt anybody’s feelings.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, this says I plan to cut my mother-in-law out of my life, regardless of what my fiance wants to do.

Colleen Borgert: Oh, Ooh. That’s gonna, that’s, that’s a, a therapy for sure. I feel like. Right. Like,

Christa Innis: yeah. I mean, I feel like if, if the, if it’s valid where like the mother-in-law’s done something like terrible turn, just treats her poorly, then I feel like the fiance should be backing her up and like Right. Being that buffer.

I feel like it should never be between the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law because this is about the son or something. Right. Right. There’s

Colleen Borgert: something

Christa Innis: going on

Colleen Borgert: and it shouldn’t just be about her.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And so it’s gonna be almost impossible. To just cut out the mother-in-law if the fiance is still talking to her.

Right. So then I need like, figured out of like, who is he gonna fully support? What’s the issue here? Right. Unless you guys just don’t get along, then I don’t know how that would work. But

Colleen Borgert: then you have to figure out like you’re, you’re gonna form a family together. Mm-hmm. Like, you’ve gotta figure it out.

Christa Innis: Gotta figure it out. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Uh, okay. This last one says, my grandma’s being, my, my grandma being my biggest supporter for eloping helped me elope and deal with all of the backlash.

Colleen Borgert: I love a good grandma. Like, is there anything better than a good grandma? There’s, there’s not, the, the, there hands down top five things a good grandma.

Like, you can’t, you can’t beat it. Yeah. And one that helps you elope and then says, not only am I gonna help you do it and I’ll help you plan it, but a grandma that says, you go and then I’ll tell everyone I did it and I’ll take the heat. Like, go live your life. That’s an amazing,

Christa Innis: you need that. I remember, it’s kind of funny, like, um, so I grew up, like I grew up Ca Catholic and I, um, you know, so like with Catholic parents, like, it’s like you don’t move in before you get married, like, right.

Mm-hmm. Like you child, my grandma’s Catholic, my parents, you know, like that. So this is nothing against that. It was just like how like I was raised, you know? And um, I remember though being like, I’m so close with my grandma that when my husband and I now husband, we were gonna move in together. I told her first and she was like, that’s great honey.

I’m so proud of you and my parents were fine with it. I’m the youngest. So they were like, by that point, they were like

Colleen Borgert: right by that point they’re just like, get out of here. Yeah.

Christa Innis: But I was like, it was just funny. Like, I told my friends, I was like, yeah, I told my, my, now she’s 90. But at the time, you know, she was.

Gosh, how long have I been with my husband? It was, she was like probably 80, but I like told her first and she was like, that’s great. I’m so proud, so excited.

Colleen Borgert: See top five. You’ve got one. She’s great. Yeah, you’ve got one. I’ve got one too. My grandma, um, for her 80th birthday five years ago, she’s still here.

Um, she jumped out of an airplane. She went skydiving on her way and

Christa Innis: we all went and

Colleen Borgert: yeah, she even, you know, got a second set of dentures so that if they fell out, she would have her. She was ready. She visited all of her doctors to get like the, okay, but there’s nothing better than a good grandma.

Christa Innis: That is amazing.

Oh my gosh, I love that. Well, thank you so much for coming on. Thank you.

Colleen Borgert: This was so much fun. I truly enjoyed it.

Christa Innis: Good. Oh, I’m so glad. Like it was so much fun hanging out with you. And can you tell everyone again where they can follow you, find your content, and then anything fun you’re kind of working on?

Colleen Borgert: Yeah, so again, my name is Colleen Boer. You can find me on Instagram at at Miss Colleen b or at Leany Borg on TikTok. And if you are looking for educational news that is happening in this political climate, I am the teacher you want to follow. ’cause I’m gonna give it to you like it is. I love it. Awesome.

Well thank you so much. This was awesome. Thank you. Have a wonderful night.

Christa Innis: You too.

by Christa Innis

Follow-up Story: My Future MIL Confronted Me in a Pantry

What happens when your future mother-in-law corners you in the pantry to accuse you of ruining her son’s life? That’s exactly what went down in today’s jaw-dropping episode.

We reconnect with an anonymous guest, who now returns to share how her wedding journey unraveled into a powder keg of emotion, betrayal, and a confrontation she’ll never forget.

If you’ve ever questioned a wedding’s red flags, this story will stay with you. From a fiancé caught in the middle to a mother-in-law determined to divide, this episode is a must-listen.

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month!

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

03:13 Engagement and Initial Red Flags

03:45 Mother-in-Law’s Demands Begin

04:52 First Major Incident: Venue Address

08:13 Boundary Issues and Kitchen Confrontation

11:56 Fiance’s Call and Silent Treatment

16:55 4th of July Weekend Tensions

20:43 Handling Emotional Conflict

22:11 The Pantry Confrontation

28:19 Post-Confrontation Reflections

31:22 Dress Shopping and Relationship Dynamics

33:25 Premarital Counseling and Lessons Learned

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

Pantry Blowup – A quiet moment at the rehearsal dinner turns into a private ambush from the mother-in-law.
Caught in the Middle – The fiancé’s struggle to balance loyalty between partner and parent creates more chaos.
Crossing the Line – The mother-in-law’s accusations include controlling her son’s life and “changing him.”
Silent Treatment Strategy – Post-fight, the MIL goes silent, leaving tension boiling under the surface.
A New Kind of Wedding Day – Despite everything, the couple finds their own way to move forward—with boundaries.
Delayed Fallout – A honeymoon doesn’t stop the drama. The emotional scars show up weeks later.
The Support That Mattered – The groom’s eventual stand for his partner offers a moment of healing.
Telling the Story – The power of sharing your experience and being heard, even years later.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“If you’re scared to speak up at your own wedding, that’s a red flag.” – Christa Innis
“Respecting boundaries doesn’t make you difficult—it makes you self-aware.” – Christa Innis
“A wedding should never be the battleground for someone else’s unresolved issues.” – Christa Innis
“Silence doesn’t mean peace—it just means someone’s swallowing their feelings.” – Christa Innis
“Just because it’s tradition doesn’t mean it’s healthy.” – Christa Innis
“I knew the moment she opened that pantry, something was going to explode.” – Anonymous Guest
“It wasn’t just about the wedding—it was about control.” – Anonymous Guest
“She made me feel like I was stealing her son, not marrying him.” – Anonymous Guest
“I kept waiting for someone to stand up for me, but no one did.” – Anonymous Guest
“You think family drama will die down after the wedding, but it only gets louder.” – Anonymous Guest

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi there. Thanks for joining me. Thanks for having me. I’m so excited. All right, so before we started recording, we said we are gonna keep you anonymous today because we have a kind of crazy story to dive into today. for those of you guys listening, they’re like, what is she talking about?

I think it was episode, I wrote notes down here, episode seven. I had Suzanne Lambert on and we read was one of the craziest stories. I think one of the kind of intense mother-in-law story. It involved, a lot of, anguish, a debate and a pantry on 4th of July and a lot of drama that went up, from there and.

This was such an interesting story to us, and we were like, I think you ended it with part two coming soon because you’re about to do your bridesmaid or no, your wedding dress shopping. So I was like, I have so many questions, let’s reach out to her and see if she wants to come on the podcast. So here you are.

So I appreciate you for being vulnerable and coming on and sharing.

Anonymous Guest: Yeah, no, uh, thanks. I mean. Honestly, like it was such a crazy story and I just think, I was just like, well, someone’s gotta hear this, whether it’s for entertainment purposes or therapeutic for me, I was just like, someone’s gotta hear this, so it’s good.

Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: So if you guys have not listened to the full episode, I would recommend you guys go back to episode seven and give it a listen. but let’s just do some quick bullet points here. We’ll kinda walk through it together. I might also put a little, audio clip from it so you guys can hear some of the crazy moments there.

But starting off, you said, my fiance and I got engaged in April. We were excited to plan our wedding for next September, and his mother has always been supportive, often teasing him about proposing. So when we called to share the news. She barely finished saying congratulations before asking if she could go dress shopping because she only has two sons, so I’m not gonna read the whole thing, obviously.

But then getting into it, the red flags started appearing when you guys all got together. At, I think, was it an engagement party?

Anonymous Guest: It was at our house with Father’s Day weekends. Okay. We were hosting all the men in our lives. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Okay. And so at that point was when she started to demand to know the venue, address.

So tell us what went down here and oh, actually I wanna know first before all of this, did you guys consider her like a good relationship? Like have a good relationship with her?

Anonymous Guest: Yeah, no, we had a great relationship and like it, my fiance’s relationship with his mom was always good.

Ours was good. She was very supportive of us. And I even noted, but his grandma was pa in the process of passing away and on her deathbed was like, you have to marry this girl in two months. And he is like, you’re nuts. And of course we wanted to get engaged, but there was like a lot of family support including his dying grandma, his mother, like all these people.

And so there was never really any signs of any like, anguish as you said, like, or upset feelings. really until. Like the wedding started coming to fruition and that like maybe we were making decisions that were for us and nobody else. So I think that’s kind of maybe where that happened or. Maybe her perception of how that was starting to unfold was different than the reality.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Okay, so let’s go to that first moment. Yeah. Where she starts pressuring you to tell the address, even though the month was still like a year out, and you said this is the name of it. We actually haven’t even been there yet. So what happened? What all went down?

The Text Message Debacle

Anonymous Guest: Yeah, it was crazy. It was like, so we were sitting in our living room just having like normal Father’s Day watching golf kind of thing.

And we had told her where we were getting married. we kind of had left out details from the beginning just as we were figuring them out, told her. And then, you know, she was like, can you send me the address? And I was like, well, I already shared it with you. And she’s like, well, I delete my text messages, which is something that I know you guys noted the first time.

Yeah. We were like, what is she saying? They were like, who does this? And I was like, no, she’s just somebody that’s just like, just delete. Them? I don’t know. I don’t know. She actually

Christa Innis: does. She wasn’t just saying

Anonymous Guest: that goes through and she just like deletes all, every thread. It gets deleted like every day kind of thing.

So she doesn’t keep anything. Oh. And she doesn’t have a, you know, she just doesn’t keep anything. So I knew that originally she was asking ’cause like she didn’t have it. but then, you know, as time went on, she started like, and I said, well, why do you need it? I told you we were getting married.

And she’s like, well, because I wanna go and I wanna go see where the hotels are in p. And because it’s not so far from where she lives, all this stuff. And I was just like, oh, no, no, no, no. You know? And I, I was just like, no, that’s like really not necessary. We have it all figured out. It. April and our wedding is the following September.

So we were so far away time I couldn’t even open a room block if I wanted to. And so my fiance and I were just like, what? So, this is kind of happening and this is like starting that conversation again. We’re just very casual and she’s just like, no, like, just send me it. And I was like, well, it seems as though you wanna go there.

And like that’s not, we haven’t even been, and I’m trying to like bridge and bridge and understand and like. Really press this down kind of quickly and as amicably as possible because I’m just, she keeps pressing and then I keep trying to bridge it. and so that was like the first of what I,thought were like three major incidents within this incident of a day was her pestering about the venue.

And it was just so shocking to us. ’cause we were like. why are you pressing on this so hard right now at this time and this day? Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s like, where is this all coming from? All of a sudden you have to go see it and it’s like, how can she not see that this is a special moment for you and your fiance at the time of being able to like go to the venue together, see together for the first time before people coming in, in with their opinions.

Anonymous Guest: Yeah. and we, to this day, still have not seen it, which is hilarious because I planned our whole wedding around a venue I’ve literally never seen. but that’s the thing is I was just like, I don’t know when I’m gonna go. I don’t have plans to go. As of right now, it’s four hours away from where we live.

Like this is just the reality of it. And just because you were closer, let’s not like prioritize You’re needing this to go. Also, I was expressing it to private property. Like it’s not like you can just show up like a ballroom or a hotel. You can’t just show up. And then, my fear was that like, as she was pressing, I started to realize, well maybe she would go and, go to the property and start talking to these people and having conversations that I was not a part of.

And so I kind of started spiraling myself and that’s where I think I started getting more worked up by the thoughts of it. of what could happen. Mm-hmm. And just try, like I said, just trying to shut it down in that moment, really. Yeah. as kindly as possible.

Christa Innis: Yeah. ’cause it’s totally understandable to be like excited be like, if you want me included, I would love to be a part of it, but to then press, especially after you’re like, well, we haven’t even seen it ourselves.

It’s a private property. You can’t just show up. And she’s still pushing for it. So then she corners you. In the kitchen. How does that all happen? And does this kind of fizzle out first and you guys are like, just kinda like moving up past it? like what are other people doing during this time? Like are they looking at this like.

Is this still happening?

“Aren’t You Just So Happy?”

Anonymous Guest: well, we have a kind of open concept floor, so like our kitchen’s connected to our living room and connected, and we were kind of outside, so we had a group outside, like no one was really in the house anymore, and she’d kind of come inside and we were in the kitchen together and everyone else was kind of outside, which is a very similar, like kind of set up as it was when we were in the pantry situation, which don’t get to, but, and she was just, expressing that she was like.

Are you just so happy? I’m gonna be your mother-in-law. And I was just like, in the moment, I was taken aback because I’m like. Why are you asking this? Like, is this something you’re really concerned about? Like, am I so happy? Am I so not? Because I’ve obviously been maybe giving off some energy that, I was not as excited by your excitement to go to the venue and I was kinda shutting that down and then I shut down the conversation with my bachelorette party, and so I’m like, are you kind of getting the vibe that my energy is coming back to you in a different way and now you’re trying to get validation through me by saying, aren’t you just so happy?

I tried to like, address it as head on as possible and just say like, yeah, of course I am, but here’s what’s happening right now, is that like, I feel as though you’re kind of, you’re trying to step on this, what I would call a boundary and saying like, my boundary is that you don’t go to the venue and you don’t, like this is the situation and I would just appreciate that you kind of let us handle it.

And, I didn’t again realize at the time the weight of the words I was saying. Again, I was trying to be as amicable as possible, be very choosy with my words and being kind. And ultimately like I wanted to be kind to her and, just express clearly how I was feeling. And I did not realize the weight of the word boundary.

and how like significant it would play into the rest of.

Christa Innis: She’s held onto that grip on it. They don’t do boundaries in this family. Gorilla

Anonymous Guest: Grip, gorilla Gripp onto it. Yeah, it’s crazy. and I think that like it maybe was the first time being put in a, like to be held back from something or maybe to be really put into that box.

But at the same time, like it’s funny because you guys noted like, where’s your fiance and this whole thing, he is outside having a drink, has no idea. We’re, you know, in the kitchen kind of thing together. And I think in the most of the story, like he and I and, the sentiment really is he was just as stunned as I was through the whole thing and.

I think his reaction in the fight or flight minus fight his is kind of take a step back and process. And so whereas I maybe was more communicative with my feelings and clear up front later in the story, he was much more like nervous and surprised and then had to find a way to then speak and speak up about it, which is after the situation when we were in the kitchen when he ended up calling her, but.

I mean, we were by ourselves in the kitchen. And then as I said, this is my boundary. She, I don’t really remember her exact kind of feelings about it, but we ended up, walking away and having the rest of the day kinda be fine. And we thought the day went kind of weird after that and we were just like, man, that was like such odd energy in front of everyone, not just at least the three of us.

And. That’s when he ended up calling her, which came after that.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Okay. So we have an issue with the word boundaries. I’m glad you said the thing about like you and your fiance. ’cause I think a lot of times, like stories like this are written by the brides and they experience it firsthand because of that kind of like, turmoil, I dunno if that’s even the right word, but it’s like.

The fiance we to remember too, is in a difficult position, right? It’s like, obviously they’re choosing you, but at the same time it’s like, I’ve never seen this side of my mom before. I’m really sorry. But also what’s happening, but also I love you, I promise. they’re like dealing with all these like different so of like emotions and things they’re going through.

so that’s important to say as well. okay, so these red flags are showing, you’re like, okay, we’re gonna move on from this like boundary day. Yeah. then your fiance calls her. Mm-hmm.

Anonymous Guest: yeah. so we decompressed, we talked about the day.

We were like, wow, that was really weird. Never had an interaction like that. just seemed as though like she was really pressing and feeling anxious or worked up about the details. And so we called her and was just like, Hey, like. I kind of told him, I said like, if you feel this way, say it on behalf of you.

Like, I don’t want you to speak on behalf of me. in any way, giving anybody ammunition as to saying, well, she feels this way, she feels that way. I said, just speak on behalf of you and leave it at that. So he said, you know, like, I feel like the other day was weird and the energy was weird, and it essentially like maybe being more.

Clear with how he was feeling. I think it really upset her and she ended up getting so upset with his confrontation of the behavior and just saying like, and I forget along the lines of what he said, but he was just like, talking about this and talking about that. She goes, well, that was a joke.

And like, I can’t, I was just teasing. And he was just like, yeah, it really wasn’t, a joke or whatever. You know, he kind of addressed like things. Clearly and she just had different perception of it. and then I think that being as though he was so clear with her and like how he felt, she felt very attacked by that and very like hurt by that.

And the only way I think that she knew how to process that was to literal hang up on him and not talk to him for three weeks. Yeah. Which was crazy. Do the silent

Christa Innis: treatment. Yeah. I find that so interesting because it’s like, okay, respect your elders, communicate and he did just that. Yeah. He literally called her in an appropriate way, did not out her in front of a bunch of people saying, Hey, you’re being rude.

You know, like literally the most respectful thing. But there’s a certain, I feel like certain people cannot handle being told they did something wrong, or, someone was hurt by the way they acted.

Birthday Silence Treatment

Anonymous Guest: No, that’s exactly, right. and I think again, their relationship was so fine, but why did this instance of confronting behavior, and maybe he never did, and what I’ve come to realize in the last year about him and his relationship growing up and stuff like that, like he is so unbothered by everything.

Like the man could not be bothered by a single thing. And it is what a peaceful life my fiance lives because he just does not get worked up about anything and. It takes so much for him to even feel worked up. And so when coming at situations like this, he can so easily take it in and brush it out and it’s like.

Most people cannot do that or you internalize a little bit. And so I think that in interactions with her previously or growing up, like he certainly has never felt the need to address anything head on and or felt heard enough. But I think when it came down to us discussing how we felt and how I expressed to him how that made me feel, he then felt ownership and saying like, okay, well this is something that obviously we need to talk about and I need to address, but maybe she had never.

Had that be addressed before or been told to your point Like, this was wrong or your behavior upset me in any way. So it definitely stunned her. And you said she hung off the phone and didn’t talk to him for three weeks. didn’t talk to either one of us for three weeks, which was a notable three weeks because his birthday fell during that time.

And, there wasn’t like a. Come back together kind of moment. And it was a little hard. I mean, she expressed after that in the story that that was hard for her. And it’s hard for us, like, to have such a normal, good relationship with somebody and then to know there is tension and to know what is present for that whole time, like.

It was definitely difficult for us too. Mm-hmm. Because like we’re just trying to process how we feel about the situation in general and celebrate our engagement. And then also there’s this like massive tension that’s like building and then kind of being expanded in the family as like more people were obviously present and then seeing what’s happening and hearing what’s happening and it’s kind of expanding it felt like.

So that was, it was hard. Yeah. And then of course it’s birthday, so it felt, it just felt terrible. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. I find it all so interesting because it’s like she can. Beret is probably a heavy word, but she can like, call you out in front of everybody, make you feel a certain way, even though you were like constantly putting your boundary down, saying, no, no, no.

She gets contacted in private by herself. Mm-hmm. And that’s disrespectful. It’s not okay. And she goes into silent treatment mode. She goes into like victim mode of like, oh my gosh, you guys are attacking me. And it’s just kind of funny to see like the opposites and from different point of views like, how she can’t even see like past her own like lens.

Anonymous Guest: Yeah. And that’s like a lot of the work that I’ve done in therapy and personal therapy like is just understanding. Yeah, of course. Like you have two sides to every story, but like. The information that we had to your point, was in private, in a calm way and trying to be clear and communicative and it wasn’t receptive.

she wasn’t receptive at all of it. So I think that’s a piece of, I. Getting feedback and then being able to process at the time, at least in the situation, she just did not handle like super well and then ended up, my fiance and then extended party, like ended up suffering in those, three-ish weeks to that before the next, major incident.

So it was crazy. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. So let’s get into a Father’s Day weekend. This was the part that 4th of July. This is

Anonymous Guest: 4th of

Christa Innis: July weekend. weeks. Year. Oh, fourth. Oh yeah. Father’s Day weekend was the first dinner. So we’re talking Yeah. 4th of July weekend. This was still over the, not talking to you stage.

Mm-hmm. Completely like blocking you guys out. Yeah. Yeah. So at that point, okay, let’s talk about 4th of July then. So you guys don’t hear from her. You guys have a 4th of July party at this house with a really big pantry. Yes. Yes. This is the part that Suzanne and I were just like, wait, what is happening here?

She’s in the pantry now. This doesn’t make any sense. Yeah. I’m like visualizing this like beautiful, like huge pantry.

Anonymous Guest: It is. Yeah. Um,

Christa Innis: so you guys had like a rented house?

Anonymous Guest: Well, yeah. So without giving too many details my fiance’s family has like a larger, lodge of sorts, very much like the Hallmark esque make big lodges that they spend their Christmases in kind of thing.

They have one in their family. it’s also like a hunting lodge kind of thing. Okay. So just very large. and the kitchen is like an industrial kitchen, so you imagine like the big industrial stoves and stuff like that. And so there’s just this larger like wraparound kind of pantry type of situation that’s adjacent to off of it, but yes.

Where at their family’s house. lodge for, better words, but yeah.

Christa Innis: So it’s his family’s house. Everyone’s there, but his mom just hasn’t shown up yet. She shows up late, right?

The Lodge and the Cold Shoulder

Anonymous Guest: Yeah. So she doesn’t live too far from there. and so my fiance has like, family ownership of the lodge.

So we go up, we bring my family, my parents are there, that we all join the lodge for the weekend. So we’re there for like the long weekend and it’s her family’s place. and his grandpa. Owns it and he’s there and then the aunt is there. So everyone that was at the original incident is also now, coincidentally at 4th of July weekend.

so she had every right to be there and all the plans to be there. But it sounds as though like, obviously we were struggling with communication. We were obviously not talking and then, so it didn’t seem as though she was very excited about the idea of joining us as soon as possible. So we were there for a couple days before she ended up joining.

Yeah.

Christa Innis: Oh, and do you think that was her plan all along? Or do you think she was randomly was like, I’m gonna go and make my entrance, my grand entrance?

Anonymous Guest: Yeah, it’s, well, so there was up being a couple things that happened. So there was like this other party that we were going to within for the July weekend that was at a house very close, and we ended up seeing her there for the first time.

So she was also at this adjacent family party inside of 4th of July weekend. Oh my gosh. To give you the vibe, and that is where we first. saw her face to face since he had not speak to her, like been on the phone and she was very cold. Like, very much did not want anything to do with us. And at the time.

I was, I kind of saw her in the corner and I could see that she was talking to somebody. and I could see she was very heated about what she was talking about, and I could only imagine that, she was kind of recounting what has been going on in her life. and she said a couple things kind of verbatim that she repeated back to me in the pantry.

So I knew that’s ultimately what she was talking about and mm-hmm. So I could tell that, yeah, the vibes were a little intense and so he kind of went up to her and tried to embrace her in some way and she was very much not into it. I tried to do the same thing. She basically didn’t hug me probably the first time ever.

and so it was like a really cold interaction. and then my parents were at the house, you know, down the road kind of thing, and. Her whole point was to come there and to spend time with all of us. And she ended up leaving that house and never visited them. Never even stopped, like just kept going. So the plan was to be there kind of the whole weekend, and she kind of came in, did her thing, and left.

Left for a couple days, and then came back what would be ultimately like a couple days later. So,

Christa Innis: oh my gosh, very much.

Anonymous Guest: Not the plan. Not the plan

Christa Innis: at all. Yeah. Yeah. It’s so crazy. Like looking back, of course, like. I’m just like, she could have avoided all of this by just like responding to her fiance being like, I’m sorry I made her feel that way.

I would love to like, get lunch next week and just like, hear about your wedding plans or, just like, kind of just completely turn it over instead. have like a toddler blocking this out. We’ll have

Anonymous Guest: to, yeah. Yeah. I’ll have to cut this out, but she needs some serious therapy, so I’ll find something else to say.

But I mean, yeah, it definitely like. You could tell she was so upset and she just didn’t know how to process her feelings and or how to navigate the situation in general. And like, I get that. I totally get that. We were all in uncharted territory, so it’s like. We were all processing things and being in this interaction for the very first time.

And so I think it’s important that, we handled it how we felt we could defend and talk about and, be proud of. And, I don’t know if she felt the same way, but it seems as though like she was kind of. Operating on out of fear and like confusion and, we were really trying to make sure that we were clear and concise and kind, you know?

Mm-hmm. Like we didn’t want to create any animosity, but, a lot of it definitely could have been avoided. And especially this whole like buildup to not talking and to not, leaving and not coming and not embracing all this kinda stuff is like, well that’s just hard, you Like none of us really wanted to.

Start back up again after so many weeks kind of thing. But it’s like someone has to do it. That’s why the pantry situation happened was because I was like, we must like do this now. You know? Like it

Christa Innis: get rid of the tension.

Anonymous Guest: Yeah. We have to try. So try.

Christa Innis: Alright, so let’s, let’s talk the pantry moment. So the pantry moment,

Anonymous Guest: this large pantry.

Christa Innis: So. how did that all come about? So eventually she shows up at the house. On a day, like she kind of showed up later to everyone. Like you said, it was kind of weird. She kind of came in and out. Sorry, I’m kind of like looking back at the story. No, ahead. Tell how, tell me how that kind of like all started.

Because I think it started with your, fiance and her talking, right? And then you were kinda like listening in.

The Pantry Confrontation

Anonymous Guest: I was like, we have to address this. And they had finally just exchanged his birthday gifts It was kind of okay, but we had no, that was in front of everybody and so we had had no, like, one-on-one time with her.

and so she kind of went in inside and everybody again was sitting outside. And so I was like, well, we should go, we should gotta, we gotta do it. So I was like, go, I’ll be behind you. and. So again, the beginning of the conversation, she kind of thought she was having it with just him. And that’s why the detail about me coming into the pantry was kind of a note because she didn’t realize I was there because like he’s standing in the doorway, she’s inside the pantry and I’m on the outside behind him.

It’s tall, man. So it’s like, she didn’t know I was there. So he kind of says like, we gotta stop this. Like you gotta stop. And so then she starts explaining like how up upset she is and how this has been so upsetting for her she kind of starts venting a lot of her feelings.

And then the first thing that she kind of said that like threw me was she was like, and she said she would send me the address and like, she didn’t send me shit. And so then I was like, well, it’s my time to enter now. And so I hear my name, I’m being summed. Literally. I was like, well, you brought me into it.

Darn it. I’ll join now. So I kind of came around the corner and I was like, well, and I kind of said exactly that, like. Well, it’s not time to enter out. So, like I come in and I was just like,I didn’t even give any words out really before, she kind of came in and she got very close to me and got very aggressive as far as saying like, how dare you speak to me that way.

You know, how dare you talk about a boundary like that kind of referencing our, father’s Day weekend conversation and just essentially saying that like. She couldn’t imagine, speaking, having somebody speak to her that way. And, what the hell is a boundary kind of thing.

And it, what the hell

Christa Innis: is

Anonymous Guest: a

Christa Innis: boundary?

Anonymous Guest: Oh no. like she knows, but she lists like, what the hell, that has nothing to do with this kind of thing. Like, just not understanding the impact of really what I was saying. And she’s like in, you know, very close to my face and I was just like, are you really, like, is this really what you’re gonna do right now?

And my fiance. The man was stunned. The man’s mouth was probably a gate on the ground like, and he is again, he is definitely not a fighter and he’s not like a flight, but he’s definitely someone who just maybe a little bit freezes, especially in this moment. He’s a very like. Confident person. Like he knows how to handle stress really well.

But I think when it comes down to someone that you really didn’t expect it to be from, he just froze in that moment and he said nothing. and so it was just me, you know, me, Duke’s up, got my hands up, I’m so mentally prepared to handle this conversation. I’ve had so much therapy that I was like, I can do this.

and so I was just like. Are you really gonna, approach a conversation like that right now? Like, I am not being aggressive and I don’t have that tone. Like, I just don’t think that’s productive. And, her responses were very aggressive and trying to get her feelings across in a very, like, loud, big way.

and then I. Lost every, all of my therapy in me and I started rising as well. Hard get to, to a point where you’re just like, whatever. My ears are bright red. I am just like my heart is beating outta my chest because I’m just, I’m trying so hard to contain my thoughts and be clear, but then I’m also being attacked when I’m trying to process that.

my fiance is obviously standing there. I know this is hurting him in some capacity, so it’s like a, culmination of quite a few things that I felt like were like, leaning on my shoulders and I just started apologizing and and I truly felt apologetic like I did, that my intentions maybe were not the result of like what I said or how she felt, and.

those were just not received well at all either. So all I can do is apologize. All I can do is take ownership of what may have been unintended consequences and like it wasn’t being accepted. So at that point, like, what are we to do? we are not getting anywhere. and we went but I can go in circles for a while and we did.

So we went in circles for a while and then mm-hmm. Ultimately, it ended up kind of coming to a close in that moment, but, not without going on for quite a while before that point, and mind you we’re in a pantry that is extension of a kitchen, extension of a dining room that has got windows that are open to the outside.

So many people, I think, no real confirmation, this pantry has windows. So the pantry door was open. We were standing in the, literally, oh, we were standing in the door and then the kitchen’s open, and then there’s a doorway, and then the doorway goes straight outside. Stop. So did you see

Christa Innis: people walking by and like no one

Anonymous Guest: was in the house.

They knew what was going on, so they were like avoiding it, you know? Yeah, they, did your parents

Christa Innis: know what was going on? Like were they

Anonymous Guest: like everyone did? Yeah. It was sad. My mom actually ended up getting. Really drunk. She’s like so worked up. She was just drinking so much wine. She goes, I got so drunk. And I was just like, you’re crazy.

Like, because she was so worked up because she knows like, I certainly don’t need anybody to step in on my behalf. So she was like not worried about having to do that or. Isn’t really that personality type anyway. But she was just so stressed out by the confrontation and the attention that she like got accidentally drunk.

But I think that they could hear, so, what I know to be true is they could hear parts of it. So I think at that point, we ended up coming to kind of a, close and it didn’t really feel resolved though, at all. and it was just difficult to be like, well, this didn’t really do what we wanted, kind of thing.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Okay, so then the next morning she comes back to the cabin and that’s when you guys talked to her and everything like Yeah. Said that she felt disrespected. mm-hmm. And basically she just kinda leaves saying, I’m happy we talked.

Anonymous Guest: it was hard because. We’d gone kinda the whole day spending the day on the water and before this conversation even happened, and I felt so unresolved.

It seems as though she kind of came into the day with a cleanish slate and was really trying to put everything behind, but not really, addressing it necessarily enough to put it behind. Mm-hmm. She kind of just said, well, that happened and now it’s over. and so as the day went on, I just kept.

Feeling so much more tension building up, because I was like, how are you going on? As if like, this did not happen yesterday and we had, this is not really resolved. and so I was like, I’m gonna say something. And I was like, I wanna say something. And I was like, I need to right here.

So we kind of, you know, approached it and I just said like, I felt very disrespected by the comments that were made and the way that you spoke to me and the tone that you spoke to me. And I said, essentially I felt like she was. Damaging the relationship that we did have and like to me as a person, like I felt like a wounded bird and somebody’s just like punching it, I just felt as though like I was already down and it just felt like I was getting punched. And so I tried to communicate that I didn’t really feel a lot of, again, apologetic energy from her. it was more so just like trying to find a means to an end or trying to get to the end. Mm-hmm.

Resolution—or Something Like It

And, it was hard. And then as I’m saying things, I’m more verbal processor, but as I’m saying things, I’m trying so hard to get off my chest to say it and to, feel it and to communicate it. And I just kept feeling like my blood pressure rising, like everything was just getting more. And she goes in for a hug and she’s like, I’m so happy.

We talked and I was just like. shaking. Mm-hmm. And like, I was just like, oh my God, I’m gonna die. So it was really hard because I felt like I was trying so hard to do everything the right way. And then finally I get it all out and I feel, no bit better. Like not even a single percent better.

but we were having tension in the conversation. And then my fiance kind of stepped in and. be more clear and communicate from his perspective. Maybe someone she was more open to listening to. and, you know, he was just kind of shutting down some of the other things that she was saying.

And she, again, more, a little bit more receptive maybe to him. But, the problem definitely was coming from me and maybe my more outspokenness. in general about the situation. So it was, really hard and I was like, well, we, I wasn’t really happy. We talked, I’m happy I said what I said.

But yeah. You know, I don’t feel like immensely better because of it at all. Yeah. So,

Christa Innis: that’s how I, kind of understood it while I was reading it. Yeah, because it seemed very, like you were very open with her, you were very forward with how you felt, and then she was kind of just like.

Okay, happy we talked. Bye now. And I just picture that being like, oh, she’s trying to just brush it, put it under the rug, which I get to a certain extent. Yeah. Like let’s move on. But also like you did a lot, of hurt. You caused a lot of issues. Yeah. The way you acted is gonna create this little barrier now between.

Your son and his future wife. okay, so now let’s get to the new stuff for two part two. Yeah. Yeah. It’s been almost two months. You said since the incident, and you made an appointment to address shopping with your mom, your fiance’s aunt and his mom. When I read that, I was like, whoa. Okay. So she’s still invited, she’s still coming along.

Yeah. How did that go? what’s been going on since?

Anonymous Guest: Yeah, so. I felt as though it was still my responsibility to extend an olive branch or regardless of kind of where our relationship was, that that was something that I had to do, and ultimately it would’ve certainly caused more damage if I didn’t invite her, if she wasn’t a part of it.

and then giving her the opportunity to maybe make some adjustments as to how we’re handling, like wedding stuff. Like if she felt as though something really was wrong in the way she handled, like the venue conversation, stuff like that. Here’s your opportunity to handle it differently. so we did go dress shopping.

the aunt, the mom, my friend, you guys obviously mentioned the first part like bringing, like a mean friend. I did have a friend there that was like. Prepared to potentially like, fend off any comments or any mm-hmm. attitude from really anybody, ultimately wasn’t needed.

The dress shopping actually went really, really well. She right, I think she just had, had a lot of, big feelings at the time and they’d kind of settled at that point up until then. and that was, you know, like in September. So that was like quite a few months ago now. But, we checked that box, like we did that, and then I continued to dress shop with who I, not who I wanted necessarily, but just like who other groups of people I wanted to go with.

So she kind of went the first time and then proceeded to them, check in and understand like how the process was going for me. ’cause I didn’t buy anything that day as I continued to shop. and that kind of went from there. since then I would say it’s been better. It’s definitely been hard because

it’s not the same as it was. And there’s pieces of me that just feels sad about that and like wondering, like, is it gonna be like this forever or is other situations gonna bring up more explosive feelings? Like, could this happen again essentially? Mm-hmm. and so.

My fiance and I started premarital counseling last end of last year, kind of as this was settling down much after the dress shopping. And we have learned a lot in there together about like this relationship, with us of course, but then with her and our families together and stuff. And so that’s provided us with a lot of like learnings.

And something I’d recommend to literally everyone, doing premarital counseling and then. Talking about like common issues that you guys face together, which this was one that we were facing kind of together. Mm-hmm. And it gave us a lot of clarity. It gave me a lot of clarity as to how like, you know, she was feeling and she was kinda operating out of a state of fear and maybe feeling as so like her son’s finally getting married, kind of feeling.

And so I was like, better. Understood. I think her perspective, and we never really had like a long conversation about like, let’s look back on this kind of thing and I don’t think we ever will. but I’m trying to, understand like what I learned from the situation and how I could take it forward into the future.

And I. If something else happens again with her or any one of our family members, like how, essentially I have the tools and that we have the tools to like get through something like that based on what we’ve learned. So we’re on improving that relationship, with her and, we have, gone up to their house and stayed with them and, spent time with them outside of that.

And it’s, Definitely like more positive than it was. I wouldn’t say it’s just the same as it was before, so. Mm-hmm. But at the same time, like maybe it’s a lesson learned that the, distance and like the separation of. Maybe we don’t need to talk every day, or maybe we don’t need to be involved in every decision was like a huge lesson learned for maybe her or on both sides of just like what this dynamic is now that, he does have a fiance and someone that he’s building a life with and to talk to every day.

And so maybe if you guys aren’t talking as much, it’s because we’re talking a little bit or whatever that looks like. it’s a lot of change, so I totally understand that. But. It’s definitely been more positive than it was then. Like we’re on a small, incline, kind of, like getting

Christa Innis: better, getting back to like how things were.

No, that’s good. And I think that will give a lot of people hope too through like communication and you make a good point too, about. It might never be back to how it was because sometimes when you see a certain side of people or you see how they treat you in a certain way, you’re like, okay, I have to tread these waters lightly because you’re afraid of like, okay, am I going to say the wrong thing or is my boundary going to offend them again?

And so I think it’s smart to like in those moments be like, okay, I am gonna like. Just tread lightly. Keep my distance a little bit. we’re gonna be respectful of each other. so I think your story can help people see that like communication can go far and you can only do so much. Like when someone’s being like, difficult like that.

And just like giving the silent treatment, that was probably her. Working through everything, like what’s happening here. I’ve never been told no like that before or I’ve never had a boundary set against me. Or they think like, oh, a boundary means I’m a terrible person. I’m not a terrible person. Yeah. And so they immediately get like defensive.

So I feel like you are so like gracious with her, like giving them like time and like space to like, I mean, not necessarily like you asked for time and space, but she just No.

Anonymous Guest: Yeah.

Christa Innis: But yeah, I think sharing these stories are good. Like we were kind of talking about before recording, it’s like sharing these stories are good because.

Anonymous Guest: People that are going through something similar can be like, oh, okay, I’m not crazy. I went through something like this. Or I am a mom and I was crossing the boundary for my son-in-law, or my daughter-in-law. yeah, I feel we learned a lot on how to tackle maybe quote unquote problems as a couple.

’cause I feel like most often people either. seek help in the relationship. ’cause they’re obviously fighting with each other. but this was kind of a common thing that we were going through together. And so it was something that was very difficult in terms of balancing, well, this is his mom and his relationship.

So a lot of what we’ve learned, I think, kind of moving forward is that like we each deal with our own families. and mine’s not, absolved to the drama. Like there’s stuff there too. And, I think that. I deal with that and he deals with his, and it’s not so much that we are individuals dealing with our, it’s just because what we’ve found or what I found is that like families can probably be more receptive coming from their own family members.

So, kind of crossing that communication, like me talking directly to her is not a problem, but could probably be, be better received. Potentially became from him. Mm-hmm. So we started kind of saying, well if as long as you feel the same way, if we feel the same way, and this is a situation that happened with both of us, like you can handle it.

or you can address it or what that looks like. it changes every situation. But that was a big lesson learned. And then. I’ve done a lot of like work and under justand understanding relationships, and there’s just like a path to expressing yourself and then letting it go that you kind of have to follow when you cannot change what people think.

You cannot change how people react. And so the best thing you can do is, be clear and say how you feel, focus on the outcome that you want to get out of it, but. If you want to change people’s emotions in a situation, like you have to stop That’s not something that you can change.

you can only focus on, if you want an apology or do you want to be listened to, but like, you cannot change, you cannot ask for empathy. You cannot ask for understanding. Like those things are not something that you can ask for. Mm-hmm. And then if, like those things are happening and the situation becomes reactive, you kind of have to walk away.

So again, learned a lot from the situation that in general I think it’s just good life advice and relationship advice. But I think there is hope, for other people dealing with this situation and or even dealing with conflict like this in general, it. I think it’s just all about like using those emotional intelligence tools in order to have, productive conversations on difficult topics and

Christa Innis: mm-hmm.

Strengthen

Anonymous Guest: your relationship from within. So when you deal with stuff like this, it’s not me versus you, or it’s not us versus anybody, it’s just, Kind of just more communication than this tension and this big, outburst or this big long situation.

Christa Innis: So, yeah. Yeah. No, I feel like those were such great like parting words that people can hold onto that advice.

’cause like we all could use a little therapy and I feel like that was like very helpful, like to just take to our own relationships. ’cause especially a lot of people that listen. Have either dealt with this kind of situation or similar situations, or they might in the future. so I think it’s helpful to know, you know, we can’t control other people’s emotions.

All we can do is control ourselves and how we can communicate essentially. So,

Anonymous Guest: Yeah, there’s hope. There’s hope. I mean, it’s gotten better and I assume it’s going to continue getting better. but I think at the end of the day, like this situation happens because somebody cares. So deeply and in some capacity it comes from a very good place.

So it’s difficult as it presents itself, either out of fear or anxiety or sadness, but ultimately like the core emotion is different, or just there’s a lot of change going on, stuff like that. So I feel as though like the intention is always. Mostly always good. and you kind of have to sink back into that and say, well, what can I do to best understand this person?

Knowing that they’re coming from a good place? And if you know they’re not coming from a good place, just don’t interact. Mm-hmm. Just take a step back, stay as far away as possible and until you feel as though that’s the situation, because it’s just probably won’t go anywhere. But yeah.

Christa Innis: Don’t waste your energy on people like that, that are just trying to make you feel bad.

Yeah, exactly. Awesome. Well thank you so much for coming on and being vulnerable and sharing. I really appreciate it and you speak so well and I feel like, we talked about, like there’s so much to learn from this situation, but I feel like you came out of it like stronger, you learned a lot and I feel like it’s great just seeing that you’re applying it now to like future things.

so I really appreciate you coming on and sharing.

Anonymous Guest: No, thank you. Thank you so much for having me. And honestly, like I just hope. This helps anyone, so just happy to be here.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

by Christa Innis

Vegas Vows, MIL Meltdown, and Uninvited Guests with Saron Olkaba

What happens when a mother-in-law hijacks your wedding and makes it all about her? Absolute mayhem.

This week on Here Comes the Drama, we dive into one of the most outrageous MIL meltdowns ever. From insisting on a 500-guest wedding to uninviting the bride from a wedding dinner, this story is a rollercoaster of entitlement, manipulation, and jaw-dropping audacity.

Saron Olkaba, a pop culture commentator, reality TV aficionado, and queen of hot takes joins Christa for a brutally honest take on wedding chaos, pop culture madness, and why cash bars should be banned. They’re spilling all the drama—from surprise proposals gone horribly wrong to the great debate on whether kids should even be at weddings.

Trust us, you don’t want to miss this one. If you love wedding scandals, unfiltered opinions, and stories that will make you gasp, this episode is for you!

Join me on Patreon and get bonus content every month!

Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

01:13 Pop Culture and Reality TV Talk

05:15 Wedding Hot Takes and Trends

14:43 Crazy Wedding Stories

19:25 Wedding Drama Unfolds

19:59 Mother-in-Law’s Overbearing Behavior

21:57 The Wedding Day Chaos

25:15 Post-Wedding Reflections and Confessions

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

A bride shares how her MIL tried to double the guest list, uninvited her from a wedding dinner, and threw a fit over boundaries.
Should you ever make guests pay for drinks?
Should we retire the bouquet and garter toss tradition?
A best man ambushes a wedding toast with a proposal—without asking the couple!
Kids at weddings: Are they cute guests or chaotic distractions?
When the groom actually attended a wedding-related event that excluded his bride…
MIL’s final meltdown: Blocking, crying, and dramatic exits—this wedding story escalates to a shocking ending.
Will the couple cut ties for good? Should this bride run before it’s too late?

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

”If you can’t be away from your kids, just don’t come, it’s fine.” – Saron Olkaba
”Some hills are not worth dying on and others are. You just have to trust your gut.” – Saron Olkaba
“Cash bars, certainly, never, it’s never okay under any circumstance. That’s a huge problem.” – Saron Olkaba
“Be creative. You don’t have to shove yourself into this box.” – Saron Olkaba
“ Let’s not surprise a bride and groom on their wedding day.” – Christa Innis

About Saron

Saron Olkaba is a pop culture content creator known for her sharp commentary on celebrity news, reality TV, and trending topics. By blending humor, insight, and real talk, she delivers engaging takes on everything from viral scandals to entertainment industry moments.

With a background in political consulting, Saron brings a unique perspective to the digital space, proving that smart women can love pop culture too.

You can find her sharing the latest buzz on TikTok and Instagram (@saronthings), and stay tuned for her upcoming YouTube series featuring deep dives into the hottest topics in media.

Follow Saron Olkaba:

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

Got Wedding Drama? We Want to Hear It!

Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

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Take the drama with you—literally.

From cozy hoodies to quirky mugs, there’s something for everyone in our collection. Your purchase helps keep the laughs coming, and it’s the perfect way to show your support.

🛍️ Shop Here

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Well, hello. Thank you for coming on.

Saron Olkaba: Thank you for having me. I’m thrilled to be here.

Christa Innis: I’m so excited. I was saying before we started, I feel like I know you from watching, all your videos and your hot takes. I mean, you talk a lot about things in the media, I mean, right now it’s like Justin Valdoni and, I was gonna say Serena Van Der Woodsen.

Oh my gosh, aging. I haven’t watched Gossip Girl in so long. Blake Lively, totally a brain fart right there.

Saron Olkaba: Could not even think of the thing that people say about her, is that she plays the same person in every character she plays. So, like, Serena Van Der Woodsen and Blake Lively, kind of interchangeable.

Christa Innis: It’s fine. I do get a lot of news from you. I’m like, okay, when I see your video, I’m like, okay, I need to see what’s going on in the news. TikTok brings us all the good stuff we want to hear about.

Can you just tell everyone a little bit about yourself, what you do? and then we’ll kind of get into these crazy hot takes.

Getting to Know Saron Olkaba

Saron Olkaba: Yeah. So I make pop culture content on Instagram and TikTok. It’s content about like the zeitgeist things that are going on in the media, celebrity gossip. I think that, like most of my viewers and followers, are women. And I like to think that women contain multitudes, right? Like, I’m a political consultant in my nine to five day job, but, I also am obsessed with all things pop culture, and, you, Bravo and similar things. So I like to say that smart women Love this kind of sh*t as well. So I like to take it from a kind of Look at these things kind of from a higher level. I like to be fact based, but I also like to talk sh*t So it’s a fun little community.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I love it. I feel like it’s just a great Real Housewives, that kind of stuff, it’s great to just turn your head off, do your mind off, and just, watch some trash TV.

I haven’t watched Real Housewives in so long, like, that kind, but I was a big, like, New Jersey girl all the way. Loved watching it. So good.

Saron Olkaba: You have to, if you’re gonna watch the Housewives, Salt Lake City. Just watch that one. I urge you. To watch Salt Lake City. There are only five seasons. It’s immaculate. It’s horrifying. It’s. incredible, just please.

Christa Innis: Okay. I didn’t even know there was one. So I got to jump back in. I kind of like to hop around when it comes to reality TV. I was in bachelor nation for a little while. I wasn’t in it. I watched it.

Saron Olkaba: I missed

Christa Innis: Oh, yeah. No, definitely not. and then I would watch Bachelor in Paradise and I was like, I don’t know.

It’s all the same. Like I can’t get into it. So I like reality more. Like what’s going to happen is who’s going to fight with who? Right stuff.

Saron Olkaba: Yeah, I really got into The Bachelor because I feel like none of the couples really make it. So we’re just doing the same thing over again. We know how it is, they’re going to, they might be with each other for a little bit and then they break up or there’s two happy endings and 30 seasons. So, yes.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And it’s funny. I don’t know if you saw,, and by the time this comes out, this will probably be old news, but. Alex Cooper interviewed, I don’t even know if you know who Rachel Kirkholm is. Yeah, and they were one of the couples I was like, they’re holding on strong. They always presented themselves as happy.

And you see that and you’re just like, it was all a lie.

Saron Olkaba: Well, I think a lot of people are saying that he was just never gonna marry her if he didn’t want to get engaged at the end of this process where the end goal is to get engaged. What would make you think in the next four years something would change? So I’m excited to listen to that interview too.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I was listening to it last night, part of it and I was like, Oh my gosh, is she got her like quick. Let’s talk about it. So one of the reasons I was like, you would be perfect to have you come on this podcast is because you have so many great hot takes and I feel like just with these crazy, wedding stories, I get, um, proposal, engagement, all that stuff.

I was like, I need someone with some good opinions and we can just kind of banter through some stuff. So the first kind of category is crazy stories and wedding hot takes. So I have some different hot takes that people send me. And so I want to get your opinion on these. So what is one wedding trend or something that you’ve seen at weddings that you either absolutely include or you despise seeing?

Cash Bars, Garter Tosses, and Other Wedding Debates

Saron Olkaba: Cash bar, certainly, never, it’s never okay under any circumstance. That’s a huge problem. That’s a huge problem. Even if you don’t drink. Oh, alcohol free weddings. Even if you are sober, you got to provide, got to provide a drink or two and you can’t make people pay for it. I think it’s like the tackiest thing in the world. Period.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. I love it. I love it. No, I love it. I think it’s great. me personally. I agree. I feel like you need to have. Something there. I remember one time this actually just came to me. We’re talking about crazy stories. we’re at a wedding and it started off as a semi-open bar. So I think certain things were selected. It was fine. But then they switched to a cash bar without telling people and it was like people were getting their drinks. My now husband and I were up at the bar and he ordered drinks for us. And they were like, Okay, it’s this total. And he’s like, Oh, I thought this was open. Like, we didn’t have our wallets on us or anything.

And they’re like, No, switched to cash at 8 p.m. It was the weirdest thing. I would have said, Oh, I thought this was a wedding. Yeah,

I was like, Wait, this is weird. So then he ended up getting his wallet, buying the drinks. Then we left our drinks on the dance floor while we were dancing, and they cleared everyone’s drinks off the table.

So we’re like, they switched to a cash bar mid wedding, but didn’t announce it. And then we’re clearing the drinks off the tables when people are dancing. Oh no,

Saron Olkaba: That is absolutely unacceptable. Absolutely. You’re like providing an experience. People are coming out of their way to celebrate you.

They’re probably giving you a present. They might have flown out here. It’s not a paid experience. There’s already enough investment being involved in a wedding, just going to a wedding, doing all the events around a wedding. No, give them a good time if you’re gonna do it.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I totally agree with that. So, what are your thoughts on the bouquet and garter toss, because this is one of the ones I always ask Instagram followers, and this is like the one that comes up all the time to get rid of it, stop doing it. It’s weird. It’s gross. So what is your take on it?

Saron Olkaba: Yes to the bouquet, no to the garter. The garter is when the guy goes literally under her dress. That is a horror, that’s not okay. I can’t imagine. I feel like I’m at the wedding. My dad’s here, that’s so insane, no, please.

That’s not. I don’t feel particularly passionate about the bouquet as passionately as I feel about the garter knot, which should not be a thing, it’s fun, but I hope no one actually thinks that it means that you’re gonna be the one to get married next.

Christa Innis: I. Literally have been to so many weddings where the women get vicious and they like to push you. I’m like, we know we’re not actually the next one. Like it’s going to be okay. I’ve seen the videos too where they like literally push all the way and I’m like, it’s not that serious.

Saron Olkaba: Like full on shove her to the ground.

Christa Innis: No, not for me.

Saron Olkaba: Not for me at all. And then there’s the like, you throw the bouquet and then someone catches it or like she hands it to the woman so that she can get proposed to. That’s my list of no’s as well. proposals at the wedding.

Christa Innis: Yes, I’m so glad you brought that up because someone shared a confession with me last week saying at her wedding, the best man during his speech proposed to his girlfriend, who was also a bridesmaid.

And I was like, no one knew? The bride and groom didn’t know that was gonna happen? No one knew. She said she was mortified. Security. Security. Yeah, out of here. I was like, I need to know more. I messaged her and I was like, can you tell me more? And so she said they ended up pulling him away and being like, this is not okay.

And they didn’t understand why. But then he still came back, put the ring on her finger. She hugged him and said yes. In front of everybody. She’s walking around the dance floor showing off her ring. She’s like, yeah. I can’t even believe this happened. And she’s like, I always watched your crazy wedding stories thinking it would never happen to me.

And that happened. Were there any signs that this man was a psychopath prior to? They said they’ve been friends with him for a long time. And I, I don’t know. I don’t realize how Weird and rude that is.

Saron Olkaba: No, it’s so tacky. No.

Christa Innis: Absolutely not.

Saron Olkaba: Unless, you know, the bride is in on it. And I’ve seen videos where the bride is full on team, get proposed throughout my wedding, like here’s the bouquet, turn around, I was like, yay. And do you, God bless you. That’s incredible. right. Couldn’t be me, but incredible nonetheless.

Christa Innis: Right.

Saron Olkaba: So that’s fine.

Christa Innis: Yeah. There’s a lot of steps you should take before making sure that’s okay. Like no surprise. Let’s not surprise a bride and groom on their wedding day.

Saron Olkaba: Right? No.

Christa Innis: Okay. So these are just some fun, like picking a side on these wedding drama debates. These are other unpopular opinions that people sent me.

So this person said having kids at the reception is a good thing and they should come and feel welcome. What’s your take on kids at weddings?

Saron Olkaba: I think that just likeA declarative sentence, having kids at a wedding is a good thing, like, by what measure, you if the bride and groom feel like it’s going to be a safe experience for them and whatever, sure, but if they want to party and not have to worry about some kid getting trampled on the dance floor, that’s completely up to them, and you should absolutely respect it, It’s not up to you, so, I don’t understand why people get so upset about it, it’s a big deal for them, it’s the one event where they’re allowed to kind of do this, if you can’t be away from your kids, just don’t come, it’s fine, just RSVP, no, yeah.

Christa Innis: I know, that’s why I’m like, when people get so upset about it, I’m like, if you can’t go, just say no, wouldn’t be offended. Either way, I’m like, now that I have a toddler, I get it. If people do not want a toddler, day, night, either for me, or if we can’t get a babysitter, I will say no, because I would not want to.

A toddler there. Like, I get it. it’s just like, when people get so mad about it, I’m like, I don’t understand the philosophy.

Saron Olkaba: That being said, I told you I was engaged once and I almost got married. It was like a couple of months out from the wedding when it was cancelled.

But, having said that, I’m more than okay with child free weddings. We had set up child care for the people that were going to come and babysitters. And there was a difference, they were in a completely different place with their home. They would have been with their own food and their own people watching them.

And their parents could have gone back and forth to see whatever. So, If you’re going to have kids at your wedding, I think that’s a nice way to do it.

Christa Innis: I love that. I’ve been hearing that more and more. People have a separate area, a fun room for kids, or fun things, yeah. Padded walls. Exactly, yeah. Blocked, because that’s the thing. It’s like the biggest thing I think with kids at a wedding is, it’s the parents that aren’t watching the kids, or like, they’re at a certain age where they can get into anything. Like, I know if I bring my toddler somewhere, like, they’re, she’s gonna figure out a way to try to do something.

And so, like, there’s certain ages, too, where it’s like, you have to either be on them the whole time, or you can’t enjoy yourself. So, I feel like the extra room is great. Like, we had just, like, our nieces and nephews at our wedding, which was, like, so great. seven kids. And we, but we were provided with coloring stuff.

We had their own kids table. Plus we knew them well enough to where like, okay, we know they’re going to be well behaved there.

Saron Olkaba: So you said only like, I think that that’s perfectly fair as well. If you’re just like only the children that are related to us can come, like, and if people make a stink about not being able to bring their kids because, Oh, like, why can they come then? You know?

Christa Innis: Yeah. Sucks to suck. I know, because that’s something I hear too. They’re like, oh, but if you say no to my kids and I come and your nieces and nephews are there, I’ll be so mad. It’s like, you’re gonna be mad that like the bride’s niece is there versus like a co-worker’s son or something like that. I’m like, that’s so different.

Saron Olkaba: The entire drama is wild.

Christa Innis: They just don’t come. It’s fun. It is so wild. This person said, White bridesmaid dresses are weird.

Saron Olkaba: If the bride likes it, I love it. I’m not judging someone’s, like, aesthetic choices in, like, that sense. If the bridesmaid dresses are, like, stunning, gorgeous white, as long as they look good, I don’t care.

I mean, and, I don’t know if you’ve watched, like, Selling Sunset, Christine Quinn. She had, like, this black ball gown wedding dress. Oh, I did! Right? And so like, is it my style? No, but like, I don’t know. It’s 2025. We’ve been doing weddings for a long time. Like, let’s, I don’t know, let’s mix it up.

Christa Innis: I love, yeah, I love when people do like unique, crazy stuff.

I love when the bridesmaids all wear white dresses along with the bride. I think it looks pretty. But I saw this bride that had a dress that turned into a rainbow and like, like, she unbuttoned it and it turned into this rainbow dress. And I was like, that is beautiful. That’s stunning. That’s something I never would have thought of.

Yeah. Like, you go, girl.

Saron Olkaba: Be creative. You don’t have to, like, shove yourself into this box. Like, as long I mean, if you want to As long as you’re getting married at the end of it, that’s the end goal. Just like throw the party you want to throw and invite the people you want to invite. Like you’re spending a lot of money on this sh*t.

Have a good day, do whatever you want to do. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Do you black out all the haters? Pluck out the naysayers, provide

Saron Olkaba: booze, but provide,

Christa Innis: provide booze. Yeah. Provide some good entertainment. Good DJ. Yeah. Okay. Let’s jump into. This week’s story. It’s a long one. That’s all I can do. I have not read it. Just the beginning starts with the monster in law.

So it’s about to get kind of crazy.

Saron Olkaba: I love monster in law stories.

Monster-in-Law Alert: Wedding Drama at Its Worst

Christa Innis: It’s insane. I read these and I feel so grateful that I have a great mother-in-law. I reason I’m just like, these are insane. okay, so feel free to stop me at any point. And then I’ll kind of just pause and we can kind of just react as we go.

okay. I’ve been holding my tongue for a long while, but I’m angry all the time and I needed to get this off my chest. So who better than to tell you? Hopefully this will give some content, um, because I honestly don’t know what else to do about my monster in law. I got engaged in July 2024, and from the moment we announced it, my future mother-in-law started bombarding us with questions about the wedding.

She asked when it would be, how many people we were thinking of inviting. I told her around 250 guests and she immediately said, no, it should be 500, 500. Holy cow. Um, Right. I’m like, that’s the thing, too, is like you find the ones that are so opinionated are not even giving any money a lot of times.

Saron Olkaba: I would think that would be obvious, like, you can’t say you can double the wedding if you’re not paying for the wedding.

That’s insane. Okay, continue. Yeah.

Christa Innis: No, I agree. Um, I calmly explained that we only wanted people we were close to, family or not. I also mentioned it would be a kid-free wedding except for nieces and nephews. There we go. She lost it and started a fight. Okay, a few weeks later the topic came up again, and I mentioned we were planning a sober wedding since my fiance is two years sober. He’s like covering all the things we just talked about.

Saron Olkaba: I swear we did not cover

Christa Innis: Literally, I don’t even put these together because I don’t want to read them ahead of time, so I did not even know. My mother-in-law and future sister in law laughed and said it was fine. But my fiance would need to leave the reception because they would be drinking. Wait, but isn’t this his mom and sister?

Saron Olkaba: Why would they want your fiance? The groom would be leaving his own reception to drink elsewhere apart from the

Christa Innis: what? And this is confusing because I’m like, it’s the mother-in-law, you would think she would be not wanting to like you think she’d be up against the bride, but not the groom because the groom’s her son, right?

Saron Olkaba: I think that she’s probably positioning this as oh, he wants to have a good time and drink so he can’t stay at a dry reception all night. Like we got to go to the bar or some Insanity like that. I don’t know. Please. I can’t wait to go.

Christa Innis: What? Oh my gosh. Okay. Um, That is crazy. Okay. Eventually my fiance and I decided to get married in Las Vegas to avoid all the drama.

We kept the guest list to immediate family and one friend each because the venue could only hold 50 people. We thought this would make things easier. It didn’t. Oh yeah, someone like that’s going to come right in being like, You didn’t invite me.

Saron Olkaba: Continue. There’s no winning. Okay.

Christa Innis: Yeah, this is like two weeks before the wedding. Okay, so they still were going to have this big wedding. They just did like an elopement, just the two of them. So two weeks before the wedding, my mother in law started talking about my fiancé’s dad’s nephew. I’m like, fiancé’s dad’s nephew, okay?

Um, come back. Yeah. Oh yeah. I’m like, drawing a tree in my head. I’m like, where did this go? Um, I never met this nephew. In the 12 years I’d known my fiancé, I told her the guest list was set, and there was no room. She said that was fine, and he could just enjoy it, he could just join us afterwards. I agreed.

Five days before the wedding, my fiancé got a text from his sister in law, oh, from his sister. Inviting him to dinner. He asked if I was welcome and she said, no, family only. That’s weird. His mom chimed in, doubling down saying only immediate family. She cannot come. Okay. Don’t you think like a fiance kind of becomes that?

Okay, this was a dinner to celebrate my fiance getting married and I wasn’t invited what

Saron Olkaba: getting married

Christa Innis: to you and they didn’t want you to come. Okay, he went while I stayed home and then he went. See

Saron Olkaba: girl, this is why you can’t, I already know how I feel. You can’t marry this man. This is a crazy situation.

Don’t, you’re asking for misery for the rest of your f*cking life. Yes. Who will not, who will go to a wedding, a party about a wedding that you are the bride in, that you are not invited to. He said, chill, bet, like this sounds normal to me. This is how you want to start our union? This is insane. You can’t, you can’t do this.

You can’t marry this. No,

Christa Innis: I am. Yeah. What? I am shocked. Why would he go without you? That would be like a no for me. That would be like, sorry. Like, you, you’re choosing your immediate family, who, your fiance, new wife, should be your immediate family. No.

Saron Olkaba: Marry your sister then. Marry your mom. What?

Christa Innis: Okay, five, Okay, later, okay, so he went, while I stayed at home, later my mother-in-law made a Facebook post congratulating him and tagged me in it, which this is important later, she says.

The day before we left for Vegas, my mother-in-law asked me to lunch. Even though I had so much to do, I agreed. At lunch, she told me my fiancé’s little brother had invited a friend to the wedding. I corrected her, saying he asked Wait saying he asked but we said no. Okay, so that little brother had already asked them and she said no She replied.

Well, he invited her weeks ago, and I said it was fine. It’s too late to uninvite her now

Saron Olkaba: It’s not even too late to uninvite you b*tch. Okay, so what do you mean? It’s too late to uninvite her

Christa Innis: Like what is this controlling behavior? Like I’m already so like Angry for this person because I’m like he your fiance is not even on your side.

Saron Olkaba: I’m sweating. Okay,

Christa Innis: this is bad Yeah, I feel like hot

Okay, I was furious but decided to talk to my fiance first when I told him he immediately texted his mom explaining It was disrespectful to invite someone without asking us that she needed to tell the friend he couldn’t come This sparked a meltdown. My future sister in law started calling and yelling at him, but he stood by me, okay, finally, saying no one else was getting a plus one.

When we arrived in Vegas, my mother-in-law asked again, Okay, so the wedding in Vegas is where the mother-in-law’s coming?

Saron Olkaba: Did I? She’s coming to both. Okay. They did the wedding in Vegas first because they thought it would placate her. And they invited only the immediate family from both sides, right? But they’re still having this big wedding.

Okay. They thought it would shut her up to do the first thing.

Christa Innis: To do her own thing. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. Because I’m like There’s so much happening. Yeah, you’ve got me. Okay. When we arrived in Vegas, my mother in law asked again if the nephew could come to the wedding because he was already there. I reminded her there was no room and my fiancé backed me up.

On the wedding day, I went to brunch with girls from both sides of the family. My mother in law ignored me completely. Even when I greeted her, I brushed it off and enjoyed the day. This mother in law hates her. Like, this is, I would be like, you are, you can’t come. This is terrible. Like, why would you want to feel like a stranger or unwanted at your own wedding?

Like,

Saron Olkaba: I don’t, I’m like, you can’t have this. She just has the worst energy. She’s just gonna, she’s gonna try and ruin your day. Why would you, no, I would hire security, give them a picture and That would be it.

Christa Innis: Yeah, because it’s not her right to be at this wedding.

Saron Olkaba: Like,

Christa Innis: I’d be like You’re, you’re done. Sorry.

I don’t want you there. She’s a guest. She’s a guest. Yeah, you are nothing more than a guest who could easily be scratched right off. Um, at this ceremony, my sisters told me that my fiancé’s family had taken up the front rows on both sides of the pews. My mother in law refused to move, saying her parents can find another place to sit.

No, so now she’s rude to, like, her family.

Saron Olkaba: I, I’m, I, okay, like this would not be, go well

Christa Innis: for me, or, or, like, I, cause now you’re gonna be, like you said, you’re gonna be dealing with this mother in law for the rest of your life. Like, if it’s bad now, imagine like, if they have kids, or if they buy a house, you know, any step in there,

Saron Olkaba: I don’t understand why someone would, why anyone would sign up to deal with that forever.

Like, mm hmm. You’re asking to be miserable for the rest of you, what man is worth that? What man is worth having to deal with the devil day, no.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I really hope this ends with like, they cut her off. Like, they’re done with her, I hope. Fingers crossed. Uh, cause that’s like the only way this is gonna work, I feel like.

Um, okay. So she said she had to move. I had to ask the officiant to step in and remind everyone which side was for the bride’s family and which for the groom’s. This made my mother in law furious. After the ceremony, during photos, the photographer suggested moving one of my fiancé’s siblings to my side to even things out.

My sister in law loudly said, Hell no, I’m not going over there. I ignored it. At the bowling alley reception, my mother in law asked, “Who are these animals? Who

Saron Olkaba: are these beasts?

Christa Innis: I don’t know, why do they think they’re so much better than, like, her and her family? Oh, God. Jesus. It’s like I’m speechless. This is probably one of the worst mother in law stories I’ve read.

And I’ve read a lot. At the bowling alley reception, my mother in law refused to sign the guest book, despite me and my husband asking multiple times. When she finally did, she just wrote congratulations with no warmth, and she left without saying goodbye.

Saron Olkaba: Like why? That’s the nicest thing she’s done thus far.

That’s the most pleasant she’s been in this whole story.

Christa Innis: Yeah. The next day, my mom invited us to lunch before she left town. My mother in law didn’t contact us, but took my brother, my husband’s brothers to go go karting and sightseeing instead. When my husband asked why we weren’t invited, she said, you were busy.

We weren’t. Two days later, I made a Facebook post about the wedding and saw that my mother in law had untagged me from her earlier post. When my husband asked why, she said, it was a post only for you.

Saron Olkaba: Ew. Do you wanna f*ck your son? Like, what is going on here? Why? I’m sorry, can I, can I curse here? Yeah, you’re fine.

Christa Innis: A little late to ask that question, but. Redo! No. Yeah, it’ll be fine. I don’t know. That is, um, yeah, why? Like why? I don’t get these mothers-in-law that hate their daughters-in-law so much that they’re, that they have no, they don’t care like what they say, like, I don’t, like no one’s good enough for their son.

I don’t, I don’t know what it is.

Saron Olkaba: It’s an enmeshment. I think that’s the word. Or like, what is that, um, no, it’s emotionally incest, even worse. Yes. No, that’s creepy as hell. Right.

Christa Innis: There was this skit, I don’t know if you watch SNL. There was the, did you see, um, oh, who hosted the Timothee Chalamet one? No, I haven’t seen it.

This last weekend? Okay, you have to watch it, but there’s one about that, but it’s extreme, like the Oedipus Complex. It’s about like Mother’s Day and like the sun being like, hey mom. I don’t know, it’s like. I,

Saron Olkaba: I’m horrified that I’m going to be looking this up just immediately after we get off this.

You need to.

Christa Innis: It was like a cringe, but I was like. It’s like way over the top, but it was like some of these moms, yeah, I could see it. I find

Saron Olkaba: It’s like, once you meet this psycho mom, mother in law, right? How, and you see that this man sees nothing wrong with their relationship and kind of encourages it and won’t ask her.

How are you still attracted to this man that might want to f*ck his mom? Like, I, how do you not, how do you not get the ick immediately and run away from, like, self preservation?

Christa Innis: Yeah, like, cause this is, my thing is, this is not the first time something like this has happened. She had given signs before they got engaged, or when they first met, like, I’m thinking, like, first dinner at a parent’s house.

Every girlfriend

Saron Olkaba: had a book before

Christa Innis: him, before her. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, like, what were the signs before? Yeah, because it wasn’t like, oh, they’re engaged now, they’re serious, now my real, like, craziness is gonna come out. Like, I feel like she had to have treated her poorly before this.

Saron Olkaba: Right. And the sister in law is also a b*tch as well.

Christa Innis: Yeah, what’s the deal with that? Okay, three days after the wedding, she texted my husband saying she wanted to talk about my behavior at the wedding. What? He told her he wouldn’t have that conversation without me there, and she refused. A few days later, she blocked me on social media and deleted my husband?

So what her behavior was like having boundaries and like, No, expecting her

Saron Olkaba: parents to be able to sit in the front row. Yeah. And not allowing some, uh, the friend of a co-worker of her neighbor’s nephew to come last minute. Those were the things. Right. Those were the things.

Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s, it’s. Those are really harsh to have.

I mean, maybe blocking on social media and deleting the husband is like the best thing, because then you guys can’t see her on social media. I wouldn’t have said a thing

Saron Olkaba: about that.

Christa Innis: I would have

Saron Olkaba: said,

Christa Innis: great. I’m like, awesome. Yeah, you saved it. Saved, saved me from doing it. When I tried reaching out, she called my husband crying.

Here we go. The victim said she’d been crying every day because of how I treated her. When he defended me like a good, she hung up because she realized he was gone. He is not, he’s not backing you up anymore, crazy mom. He is now

Saron Olkaba: someone else’s husband. Not yours.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Not yours. Finally, my husband texted her saying she had two options.

Have a conversation or lose him. She replied, I guess I won’t be seeing you anymore then. I mean, I would say hallelujah.

Saron Olkaba: I would be like, I’m so sorry, babe. Yeah. It’ll be like, we’ll, we’ll get this. It’s just trying to keep my face straight. Okay.

Christa Innis: I know. I feel like the petty in me, I’d be like, I’d text her, I’d be like, well, have a great life. Best of luck. Yeah. Honestly, like I’m, I’m relieved, you know, and I really hope they don’t like to contact her.

And I hope it’s just like left that way because this, like we were saying, this mother in law would make her life a living hell.

Saron Olkaba: Yeah. But like do, like crazy mother in laws like this, like just like let it, like let things go. Oops. I know, did

Christa Innis: She came creeping back? It’s over, yeah, right. They’re not that easy to get rid of, I’m

Saron Olkaba: pretty sure.

Christa Innis: I wonder how, like, soon this, how soon she sent me this story after it happened. So, like, if this was, like, that day or, like, a week later.

Saron Olkaba: Yeah, we might need a, a, uh,

Christa Innis: Yeah, we might need her to like to follow. Yeah, we need to follow up. We need one of those episodes where it’s like you tell us like everything that has happened since.

Did she really not speak her word? Um, because yeah, it could be that victim mentality of like, fine, I guess I’ll never see you again. You know, so dramatic. Yeah. They show up at the front door. Let’s make up. But big

Saron Olkaba: romantic gesture.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Come back. Running back to them. Um, well that was a crazy story.

Um, really hoping that this, um, bride woman, um, got some stronger boundaries away from this mother in law because if she comes crawling back, you know, it’s, it’s going to be worse. I don’t think this, this woman’s not realizing what she’s doing wrong. Yeah.

Saron Olkaba: Yeah. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. There’s.

Saron Olkaba: I mean, honestly, this ended the best case scenario for me.

Like ideally if she, I mean, this is your best chance at peace, ma’am. So let’s just continue praying every night that she sticks to no content and contact, and you can live your life peacefully because she sounds. Absolutely horrible. But like, is your husband sad about it?

Christa Innis: I don’t, that’s not your problem.

Yeah. Yeah, I’m glad the husband I hope he kind of realizes like showing up at that dinner without her was kind of weird. Because it seems like later on in these stories, he’s defending her more. So I’m like, okay, maybe he went and was like, okay, the way my mom’s acting is weird. Yeah, it was

Saron Olkaba: weird for me to go to a wedding with, about, without the bride that I’m marrying.

Yeah, perhaps. That’s, that’s

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Saron Olkaba: That was weird. That was weird. Let’s do that. Jesus. Frig it. That was insane.

Christa Innis: That was, yeah. So, uh, props to you for keeping your boundaries up and I just hope it stays that way and, and uh, your husband realizes that. He needs to back you up first.

Saron Olkaba: Yeah, let us know if, um, if she stays out of your life.

I pray that she does. Yeah,

Christa Innis: yeah, I think I need to do, like, uh, there’s so many stories on here that I, like, need follow ups with, so I feel like I need to reach out to some of these people and be like, a follow up episode and, like, share what’s been going on since, since they sent it. Cause this was 2024, so we’re talking seven months later now.

Hopefully seven months of peace

Saron Olkaba: and quiet. So much peace and quiet. It’s like your first seven months being married. I would imagine you just want to enjoy that. You do want someone tainting every big life milestone. Every time you have kids, she’s going to make it a problem. Like, every holiday. Like, you’re literally signing up to never enjoy anything, almost, like, ever again.

Best case scenario is that she eliminates herself from the situation. Yeah.

Christa Innis: And she can feel like a victim all she wants and you can live your best life. So

Saron Olkaba: 100%. Yeah.

Wedding Confessions & Unfiltered Reactions

Christa Innis: Yeah. Okay. All right. So I like to end this with a weekly confessions game. So people send their confessions and we kind of just We can rate them.

Sometimes it’s kind of weird rating them because I feel like, I’m like, oh, your confession wasn’t great. So, um, we can rate them if we want. But, um, so people send these ones. Here we go. Um, my sister in law got mad she wasn’t my maid of honor and then questioned all of my wedding decisions.

Saron Olkaba: Uh, she sounds awful.

Uh, no wonder she was not your maid of honor. And you sound like you have discernment, ma’am. So,

Christa Innis: yeah. Sounds like she didn’t even know you knew why.

Saron Olkaba: You’re not allowed to. You’re not allowed to get mad at people for the choices that they make in their wedding, right? Like, if she feels that someone, she wanted to have someone be her maid of honor that’s not, like, her, what she did was her being honest.

Her changing her mind is just doing it to placate you. Why would you want that? Let her have whoever she wants beside her. If you’re her sister and you love her, whatever, make sure she has the day that she wants and it’s not about you. It’s literally not about you.

Christa Innis: Yeah, totally agree. Um, oh, this one tells a couple not to marry each other.

We begged, um, was begged by so many people up until the wedding to stop it. So I don’t know what the outcome was. I did see one similar, maybe this is the other part of it, but I did see one similarly where she said they still got married and she still regrets, like they still like regret, regret it or something.

Um, letting it happen? Yeah, yeah, she said she liked to tell a couple, yeah.

Saron Olkaba: You have to be okay with every possible outcome. You gotta play this every way, you know, like if I tell her and she is, Like, f*ck you, I never want to speak to you again. Is this worth me potentially losing my friendship? Is this, are his, are the problems with him big enough or dangerous enough that it’s worth risking her reacting poorly and me losing her and her being like, even more isolated with this person?

Like, you just have to think that through. Some, like, some hills are not worth dying on and others are. You just have to trust your gut. I know.

Christa Innis: Yeah, like, I’ve definitely been a part of a wedding where she Was very unhappy and you could tell it was, like, a bachelorette party. They were, she was very upset. Like, I don’t want to go through with this.

And we’re like giving her support, like, Hey, we’re here. Like, you don’t have to do it. Like I’m talking like the night before the wedding, like after the rehearsal dinner, crying in the car with us and long story short, they got a divorce. So like. It didn’t work out. And, um, Were there signs? There were lots of signs.

Lots of signs. I think you’re right. Like,

Saron Olkaba: literally weeping the night before your wedding. Yeah. Not of happiness is

Christa Innis: Yeah. Well, that’s the thing. It’s like, So we could have been like, no, you’re not gonna marry him. Like, we’ll beg, you know. But it’s like, ultimately, it was her decision. Like, she was worried, more worried about like, you know, vendors that they already paid and this and that.

And it’s just like

Saron Olkaba: Vendors? That’s like a couple emails and you just gotta be, okay, eating, believe me, I’ve done it before, eating like tens of thousands of dollars, not great, but like, but like that versus, divorces are more expensive, first and foremost. Yes. If you, if you have something worth losing and also like, just don’t, if you have the Ability to stop the train.

Stop the f*cking train.

Christa Innis: Yes.

Saron Olkaba: Yeah. As quickly

Christa Innis: as possible.

Saron Olkaba: Okay, like, don’t wait to get so far down the road.

Christa Innis: Yeah, did you see the girl who went viral because she was left at the altar? Like, literally the most terrible, like, humiliating thing, right? But she turned it into, like, this fabulous party and they documented the whole thing and I was like, you go girl.

Like, she like I don’t even know, like, she went viral of, like, sharing this, like, amazing video of herself dancing at the wedding, and, like, I was like, yeah, you know what? That’s what you do. You turn up, you have a great party, that’s what you gotta do. I saw

Saron Olkaba: That, and you’re 100 percent correct. She is, like, the strongest.

She’s, like, an inspiration. She completely turned it around, um, and, like, when something that, like, that happens, Like, two months before, like, with me, devastating day of, I can’t even f*cking imagine, I can’t imagine, and to be able to, like, to find some joy in that day, and like, actually Realized that, oh, there are a bunch of people here that really love me.

And this is like a very sad or scary moment for me. And I could either isolate myself and, and kind of immediately start dwelling in it. Or I would like to try and make the best of it with all these people who adore me and want to see me happy. And it was just, it was incredible to watch. And she’s an inspiration.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I love that. I’m like, I don’t know. I don’t know how it acted at something like that. But I’m like, she’s yeah, definitely an inspiration in that aspect. Um, well, that is all I have planned for today. Thank you so much for coming on. It was so fun chatting with you. Um, I love your content. I love all the stuff you talk about.

Like I said, I feel like I get all my like pop culture, like what’s going on in the world from you. Um, so can you share with everyone where they can find you any fun things you’re working on and all that good stuff?

Saron Olkaba: Yeah, um, you can find me at saronthings, S A R O N, things, um, on TikTok and on, uh, Instagram.

I’m going to be starting a YouTube series soon, um, two 30 minute pop culture breakdowns a week, so stay tuned for that, but yeah, I’m mostly on, uh, Instagram and TikTok.

Christa Innis: Awesome. Well, thank you again so much for coming on. Yeah, it was so fun. It was so great chatting with you. Right. Awesome.those, and hopefully those will come out sometime early 2025.

Christa Innis: Oh, that’s so cool! How awesome. You, like, you do it all. You’ve got a lot of projects. My brain doesn’t stop.

Cassie Horrell: It’s like I have an idea and I’m like, yeah, I’m just going to go for it. have no clue what I’m doing out here.

I’m just having fun and going with the flow.

Christa Innis: I love it. It’s that like planner mindset where you’re just like, okay, let’s just do it. Let’s get busy and find something. I love that. well, when those are available, definitely send me links and stuff and we can get it in the show notes. Well, thank you so much for coming on.

That was so fun having you react. Like I said, had some people tag you in like comments and stuff and now I follow your stuff and I like I love your content because you’re so involved in the wedding stuff that you’ve got stories for days so yeah

Cassie Horrell: but I feel like we have a very similar audience because we’re storytellers and like my whole page isn’t storytelling but Usually one a day, I try to tell stories and I get the same, like, people will be like, Did you see her story? And they’ll tag me, and I’m like, Oh, I saw it. That’s a juicy one. Yes.

Christa Innis: Yeah, it’s so good. I, can’t stop watching the, drama stories. They just, those ones just get me. Like, I love it.

Cassie Horrell: I feel like they’re like, a little bit of, like, reprieve from people’s everyday life.

Like, they come and they watch our stories, and it’s like, a minute and a half of like, totally Drama that they’re not in.

Christa Innis: Yes. And they get

Cassie Horrell: their little fix for the day, and then they’re like, Okay, I’ll come back tomorrow, like, see the next part, or whatever’s going on.

Christa Innis: Yes, yeah, it’s a good little, little break from reality, I think.

Yes. Awesome. Well, thank you so much again for coming on. It was awesome chatting with you. Thank you so much.

All right, guys, that was my interview with Cassie. I love chatting with her. It’s so fun to hear from someone that is so involved in the wedding industry. She’s got a lot of hot takes and she has. Honestly seen it all. So, thank you, Cassie, for coming on. Just a reminder, guys, if you love this episode or loving this podcast, please leave a review on Apple podcast.

It really helps more people hear the podcast. And helps me create more amazing content for you. so I really appreciate all the support that this podcast has gotten so far, and I can’t wait for more people to hear it and to create some more content. If you also have suggestions of who you want to see next on the podcast, feel free to send me an email, send me some submissions.

I cannot wait to share more stories with more people. All right, guys, thanks so much for tuning in and I will see you next time.

by Christa Innis

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Sisterly Showdown at the Bouquet Toss: Wedding Drama You Won’t Believe!

From TikTok Stunts to Bridal Party Boundaries: Wedding Drama Gets Real

Wedding Drama Rapid Fire: From Jealous Bridesmaids to Reality TV Proposals!

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Teacher Turned Advocate

Teacher Balancing Truth & Boundaries

A Diagnosis That Changed Everything

Weddings Would-You-Rather

Bridesmaid Dress Drama

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The Great Wedding Dinner Debate

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Birthday Silence Treatment

The Lodge and the Cold Shoulder

The Pantry Confrontation

Resolution—or Something Like It

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Getting to Know Saron Olkaba

Cash Bars, Garter Tosses, and Other Wedding Debates

Monster-in-Law Alert: Wedding Drama at Its Worst

Wedding Confessions & Unfiltered Reactions

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