life transitions

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What do you do when the person who’s supposed to love you the most becomes your loudest bully?

In this episode, Ivette and I dive headfirst into the betrayal, the shame, and the silence that followed. We talk about what it means to grow up misunderstood, to be mocked for your mental health, and to finally say, “I’m done.”

If you’ve ever had to protect your peace at the cost of a relationship or felt that sick gut-drop when someone weaponizes your vulnerability this one’s for you. It’s raw. It’s painful. And it might be the most honest we’ve ever gotten.

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Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

14:35 Reflecting on Time and Family

16:31 Parenting and Social Media Concerns

19:01 Wedding Stories and Crazy Moments

27:14 Rapid Fire Wedding Questions

30:38 Dress Fitting Disaster

42:57 Wedding Planning Reflections

47:38 Kids at Weddings: A Hot Take

48:39 Debating Kids at Weddings

50:34 A Wedding Story: Sister’s Joke Gone Wrong

52:10 Mental Health and Family Dynamics

54:34 Standing Up for Yourself

57:02 Boundaries and Respect

01:17:32 Confessions and Reflections

01:19:14 Weekly Confessions

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

• Blood on the Wedding Dress – Christa shares a surreal moment at her dress fitting involving actual blood and the wild way it was handled.
• Private Tears vs. Public Panic – Ivette chooses where she’d rather break down on wedding day, sparking a convo about emotional safety and stage fright.
• Therapy or Voice Notes? – A lighthearted but revealing take on whether pre-wedding therapy trumps endless best friend venting.
• The Dress Fitting Breakdown – Christa unexpectedly spirals while recalling her fitting fiasco and finally tells the story in full.
• Boundaries, Brides, and Breakdown Moments – The duo unpacks what it really takes to stay sane and self-respecting in the pressure cooker of wedding culture.
• The Speech That Cut Deep – At the rehearsal dinner, her sister mocked her mental health journey in front of everyone—with a cruel “joke” about her depression that left the room stunned.
• Golden Child Gone Rogue – The submitter opens up about growing up in her sister’s shadow—the loud, confident sibling who never took her mental health seriously and finally crossed the line.
• Depression Isn’t a Punchline – Christa and Ivette get real about how damaging it is when mental illness becomes a family joke—and why staying silent is no longer an option.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

• “Weddings don’t change people they reveal them.”  — Christa Innis
• “You can be pregnant and emotionally mature.”  — Ivette
• “It’s not just hormones if you’re still mad a year later.” — Christa Innis
• “There’s a difference between being uncomfortable and being unkind.” — Ivette
• “The real test of character isn’t the seating chart — it’s how you act when you’re not the center of it.” — Christa Innis
• “Family group chats are where grudges go to thrive.” — Ivette
• “If someone’s always the victim, maybe they’re the common denominator.” — Ivette
• “No one owes you a custom wedding because you’re pregnant.” — Christa Innis

About Ivette:

Ivette is a mommy, a wife, and a psychotherapist in training. She loves girl talk and giving unsolicited advice. She’s all about conversations that matter because she believes people matter. She was also Christa’s Maid of Honor in her wedding.

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A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis:   Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of, Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis. Normally I record these intros right after I have a guest on the show, but last night I was so exhausted. Today I’m a little more. Well rested, but I still only got like five hours of sleep. I’ve been working on too many crazy projects and I find I’m just like up late sometimes. Um, so I have a special guest today. My best friend Ivette, is back on episode 12. She was on and we shared a really crazy story. We reacted together and we had so much fun coming on. We were. Busy moms, we live states apart. No, it sounds a little more dramatic than it is. We live in different states.

We’re not too far apart, but it’s just hard to get together sometimes. And so it’s been so fun just to like have her on the podcast. ’cause we like catch up, we talk a little wedding drama and then we just, I don’t know, banter back and forth, talk about whatever comes up. Um, so I invited her back on ’cause you guys loved it so much and since the last time of her being on, she graduated from her program and she is now a licensed professional counselor focusing in mental health, working with individuals, families, and. Teens. Um, she’s just an amazing person. Um, she’s someone that I’ve always looked up to just because she works hard. She’s a great mom, a great wife, and she just really focuses on building strong relationships. Um, so she’s someone that I’ve always looked up to. Um. If you guys read my book, you might recognize her name if you haven’t yet, it’s, this doesn’t spoil anything, but there’s a little something with her name in the book.

Um, I. We’ve talked about it before about like how we got connected over the years and um, how we  grew closer. And so if you’re looking for  more of that backstory, go to episode 12. We kinda talk more about this, today’s episode. We kind of just dive right in. But before we get to that, I wanted to just dive into some, I’m gonna call it nine one one drama before I play the quote unquote interview portion with my friend Ivette. So someone sent me this message about a bridal shower, and I just wanna discuss with you guys and see what your takes are on all this. And I’ve shared some of this on social media, so if you follow me on social media, you’ve probably seen it, but I’ve gotten so many messages about it since. So let’s discuss.

Bridesmaid Budget Breakdown

The first message I got says, who typically pays for a bridal shower? My friend is being asked to pay. Wait for it guys. $1,500 for her friend’s bridal shower. She is a bridesmaid, so of course my jaw dropped because yes, I’ve helped plan many bridal showers. I’ve put some together. I’ve been a host for some, but most of the time when I am a bridesmaid, I maybe help with like. One area of things, right? Like I might bring some food, I might bring desserts, I might help set up, um, run to the store and get some things right. $1,500 is unheard of. That is just insane that someone’s being asked to spend that. She, of course, this is all permission ’cause she gave me permission to share all this.

So I said, what? That’s unheard of. I would say typically it’s the bride’s family. Sometimes groom’s family is a part of it too, depending on how close they are in relationships. I’ve had a plan for some things, but never the whole thing, and I’m talking like under $150 and that was even like pushing it, right? She said, okay. Same. Usually the bridesmaids, run the show, keep things moving. Decorations, but not pay for the  entire thing. Thank you. I said, yes, $1,500 is quite insane. Does she have other bridesmaids? And that’s when I asked her if I could share this. We kind of talk about it more. Um, and she said the maid of honor is a sister who is very wealthy.

And I believe there’s another sister that’s a, has a, there’s another sister that is a bridesmaid. So. There’s multiple bridesmaids. I don’t know if they’re all being asked to spend this money, but the family has money. The brides family can afford this, so. My thought and assumption is they want this big elaborate party and then they’re splitting it. So let’s say they’re doing open bar, they’re doing a plate and dinner, they’re doing it at a big venue, maybe a little outta their price range. Because if you are asking your bridesmaids to spend that kind of money, that tells me that maybe the family can’t afford it or they don’t wanna spend the money. And my thing is, if you can’t afford it or don’t want to spend that money. Either don’t have a shower like that or do something smaller, do it at someone’s house. Do it where you just pay like a $200 deposit on the room and then cater food in. Um, like I said, I’ve helped with showers where they are super small at someone’s house and we do very basic easy food, small bites.

Right. And I’ve been to showers that are at big venues that honestly were nicer than my wedding. Um. Granted, I didn’t pay for those ones. I was just a guess at them. But I’ve seen them in ranges. Right? But typically, if you do that, that’s the family paying for it. You should not, as a bridesmaid be paying for it unless you know you want to help and you offer, um, to help in some, some way. $1,500 to me is insane. So when I shared that to the story, a few other people messaged me. And told me some things that happened to them. So I’m gonna read a couple of these mini stories here. Speaking of the bridal shower thing on your story, years ago, my friend’s mom told us we, the bridesmaids, were the ones solely responsible for the shower, and then she sat there smoking cigarettes while we set everything up, telling us we should move certain things to certain places, never lifting a finger to help us.

I ended up getting a Venmo request from the maid of honor when it was all said and done for $300. So of course, that’s way less than 1500, but still the audacity. It should never be a demand that you pay for it. Again, depending on the situation, bridesmaids will help. Like again, like I’ve seen it  where bridesmaids are very a part of it. They help plan things, but typically it’s gonna be the family that pays for most of it. Or maybe it’s like, oh, I’ll bring the drinks, I’ll help with the decorations. But to then Venmo request each bride made is a little odd to me. Um. So, okay, this next one says, okay. As a maid of honor, I was once asked to not only throw a bridal shower, but specifically asked for it to be in New York City restaurant with a present, with a preset menu for about 30 people. Okay, so I hear 30 and I’m like, that’s small. Kind of average for bridal shower, right? This would’ve cost me between 10 and 20 K because we’re talking New York City.

I had to set boundaries and say I could not afford it, but would be happy with something much more low key, 10 to 20,000. You could  have a small wedding for that cost. That is insane to me. I know, like I don’t live in the city. I don’t live, I’ve never lived downtown in the city, right? So I know New York is very expensive. However, we have to consider people. If you are demanding or wanting something specific for your wedding, then you need to be able to either afford it or know that  you have the help. I’ve, a few of the message I sent I received said traditionally bridesmaids did help with some. Showers? I don’t know.

I think it’s a very, like, it depends on like where you live. Because for example, like I know  my grandma did my mom’s shower, so, um, I don’t think it’s completely traditional. I think it just depends on your family, where you live, um, and what you’re kind of looking for. Okay. So that was another example. Okay. Here is one more. This one is wild. Okay. Saw your story about bridesmaids paying for a bridal shower. I made of honor. Just paid, oh, I’m sorry. No, this is okay. This is a nicer one I made of honor. Just paid and hosted for two of my friends getting married. I was supposed to be, it was supposed to be her family shower.

Her mom and sister are not in the state where they could financially foot the bill, so I made sure she had the same family shower experience. I took care of it. She didn’t ask her future mother-in-law told the Groomsmen’s family to not show up, and I called a bunch of our friends to come fill the seats last minute so she wouldn’t walk in an empty shower. Literally her mom, sister and grandma, and three friends from work. So much drama with the groom’s family. Second shower. Was put for our friend’s Bible study since originally there was no room for the them at the family shower. It’s not typical, but I would still do it all over again to make sure my friend got the love and support she needed.

Absolutely. I a hundred percent agree with that. If you are. A wedding for someone. Um, hopefully. I mean, hopefully if you’re in a wedding for someone, you really care about them and you, um, want them to have a beautiful day and you wanna show your love and support. Um, we did something similar years ago when I was in a friend’s wedding. Um, I wanna say there were five of, of us bridesmaid, she had two sisters. Um, but. Me and another friend, we pretty much put together the whole thing. It was hosted at my friend’s mom’s house. We planned the whole thing. We put it all together, but again, we fit our budgets. We were like broke. Uh, I mean, what 22?

Shady Showers & Venmo Requests

22, 23 year olds. So we didn’t have much money. We did what we could, you know, and so we stuck within our budget. I remember what we ate. I just remember it being very small at our friend’s mom’s house. So if  you know it’s all, again, it’s again what you want to help with and what works, works for you. Okay. I thought I was, I thought I had one more. Spot. Okay, here it is. Okay. I knew I had a wild one. Someone sent me. Okay, here we go. Reading your bridal shower story. I had a similar thing happen. We were told that the bride’s mother was paying for the venue, but wanted the bridesmaids to plan things out. Okay. So that’s pretty typical, I think for most of the showers I’ve been a part of.

That’s how it works. Like bridesmaids are included in some way. But again, depending on the age of the bridesmaid, age of the brides, you’re kind of just more there to like help organize. Right. We met multiple times to plan the decor and activities, all things that we were able to contribute right before the shower.

The maid of honor told us that the mom can no longer pay and we would have to, so I don’t know what happened. I don’t know if the mom. Had agreed originally and then backed out. But I’m also wondering like where, who spent the money originally? Right. So like was her deposit down and then, um, you know, she owed more money the day of, because typically venues you have to put money down ahead of time, pay a certain amount to  hold your spot, right. Or if there’s food decor, you’re paying for those things as you go. So I’m kind of wondering if the mom was like, I’ll pay you back, and then all of a sudden she’s like, I’m not paying you back. Um, we said, okay, but we weren’t purchasing alcohol because we didn’t budget for this expense. Again, you don’t need alcohol at a shower.

So like, it’s crazy to me when, because this is not the only time I’ve heard this about budgeting or like making sure there’s alcohol at a shower. It’s, that’s a little excessive if, if you already are struggling and you’re asking your bridesmaids to pay for things, the open bar is not a necessity. Get to the shower Mom. The mom and the maid of honor planned their own decor that didn’t match the rest of what we had planned, even though the maid of honor was part of the process and they didn’t tell us. Didn’t tell us that. They told the venue we would provide the first round of drinks for all the guests until after the fact. We each had to pay over $300. So this is crazy to me that they just went behind their backs and was like, they’re gonna, all these brides over here, yeah, they’re gonna pay for the drinks. No, no, no, no, no. That is insane to me. There is so much more drama to this. It was very drama filled. Um, the maid of honor felt that we should pay for things since the bride was spending a lot on us, wasn’t the case.

 

The mother of the bride was also trying to send nasty emails to the bridesmaids, but. The bride  intercepted after reading the email and told her mom, no, it was so much drama. Okay, well, props to the bride, but also so shady that the mom was doing this behind the bride’s back being like, you guys need to pay for the alcohol, pay for this.

Again, like there’s so much expectation, expectations when it comes to social media. In comparison, people want these elaborate parties, but what kind of friend are you? And again, in this circumstance, the bride didn’t know right. But I’ve heard of many where the bride demands this. Right? What kind of friend are you? If you’re demanding your bride, your bridesmaids, to pay all this money to be in your wedding? That’s like for me, I was so excited just to have my best friend sitting up there with me, get pictures together, get our hair and makeup done together. Again, whatever they wanted. I wanted them to enjoy the day. ’cause it’s like fun to get like pampered and hang out, right? But I would. Die. If I knew that they were get going bankrupt or like spending way too much money, that’s not what I wanted. I think my maid of honor, I think spent like 50 bucks on her, on her dress, and I was like, yes, it’s on clearance. Please buy it now. You I was all about like save money,  wear shoes you already have. You don’t have to get your hair and makeup done like. I get we want this like great day. We want things to look nice and everything, but we have to like understand  people will be happy to support you and be excited for you, but the respect needs to be mutual.

And we’re talking like all of it. I could go on and on about this forever. We have a full episode. I’m just getting really like pumped up and excited. Um, we recorded it at 8:00 PM last night. Eight 30 ish. We kind of, we do it after the kids go to bed. Um, it’s a great way to catch up, but like I said, my best friend is back. I’m so excited to talk with her. She’s got her own, uh, professional side where she’s given some advice. Um, so without further ado, please enjoy this episode with my best friend, Ivette. Enjoy.

Christa Innis: But yeah, I just feel like we need to just start talking because I would feel like we don’t really need to introduce it because I feel like that’s so informal for us, for me to be like, Hey, y welcome to the class. Tell everyone about yourself. 

Ivette : Yeah. It does feel weird for me to be like, Hey, I’m so and so, ’cause I’m, I’m Ivette.

And that’s more than enough. 

Christa Innis: Like we’re like, we’re not gonna introduce ourselves and then we’re just doing it. But I just strive to be, I just wanna be more casual on these podcasts. I feel like because of where I came from with doing like, you know, the podcast before, I don’t know if people listening know, like, I used to work for like a mommy brand and so I did a podcast and so it was like very formal ’cause it was for like a brand that like I worked for.

And so I’m so used to like doing that now and I’m like, I just wanna be like, I just wanna hang out with people when they come on, you know? Yeah, yeah. Could have been recording 

Ivette : the whole time. 

Christa Innis: I know we talked about so many things. We’ll see if they come up again. Uh, I’m sure they will, but I was just like, oh, it’s getting late and we’re chatting.

We should probably just like start. Yeah. Thanks for coming back on. Thanks for having me again. I’m excited. Um, that was on, I don’t even know. What month are we? It’s July now. Yeah. This doesn’t come out until August or September, but, 

Ivette : um, yeah, it was last fall I think. Definitely. Right. Last fall. No, this is Jan.

Nevermind. This has only been a year in the 

Christa Innis: making. Not even. I, yeah, I think I, I started recording. I started this podcast in January. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I You got me so confused. My, it’s my brain. I know we like my husband and I always say my husband, I, I don’t even talk to you like that. My husband Zach and I, I don’t know who that is.

I know you’re like, no idea what that is. Zach and I are always like, time is so weird. ’cause like, we’ll look at pictures of my daughter. I just, her privacy stuff. Um, and I’m like, she was a full on baby last year. Like now she’s like a kid. 

Ivette : Mm-hmm. I know you sent Well Matt, my husband sent the picture of her and I was like, what?

Who is that? She’s 

Christa Innis: like a kid. She’s a kid. I know. She’s like full on like thoughts and stuff. It’s so weird how they just grow up so fast. 

Ivette : I love that she’s into Spider-Man though. ’cause Priya definitely went through her Spider-Man phase and they were so excited when we went to go see the exhibit. 

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Ivette : So they loved it. 

Christa Innis: Good stuff. I love that. It feels like just yesterday you were pregnant at my wedding with Bria. 

Ivette : Yeah. It was cute. We were at the exhibit and she’s like, mom, I was taking a picture. She’s like, mom, I, I can’t do it. And she’s like, trying to figure it out. She’s like, holier 

Christa Innis: with those fingers.

Yeah, with her other 

Ivette : hand. It’s like, whew. Like, you got it girl. You got it. Gosh. So we’ll have to teach cle. Yes. We’ll have to teach the baby. 

Christa Innis: It’s all right. We can edit that out. Edit. Yeah. I’m like weird. Like, it doesn’t even like matter if people know her name. I’m just like, I think what I’m afraid of, and this is me being vulnerable, I never want people to say negative comment about her in any way.

You know what I’m saying? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So like, even like, um, like, I don’t know, I just feel like very like, protective about it. ’cause like I’ve seen people like post about like, oh, these are my kids or something. And someone will be like, that’s a weird name. Or that’s, oh, why would you let your kid wear that or do that?

And I’m like. I know I’m sensitive and I’m like, if anyone had say anything about my child, they’d be like, wow. Like, mm-hmm. So I’m like, like props to like all the moms out there that just like, 

Ivette : I, I remember like, um, when Paris Hilton had her baby and people were being so mean about her son, and I was like, that is awful.

Mm-hmm. And I feel like it happens all the time. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh, I think it’s terrible. Yeah. And I think one of the things too that you keep seeing is like now with like, I wonder if in your profession too, it’s like, because there’s so much more awareness of like. Um, special needs or autism or, you know, different things.

I feel like people are so quick to like diagnose other people. I’ve seen it online. Like someone will post their child and they’re like, oh, have you got them checked for this, blah, blah, blah. And it’s like, don’t say that out someone else’s child. Like, don’t label ’em. Yeah, don’t label. Like obviously if you see like a spot on their back and you’re like, that might be melanoma.

Yeah. Let’s like, maybe have them look in. I, I’ve heard of that happening where people get like checked then. But like, I don’t know. I guess that’s why I’m the way I am about stuff. I don’t even know what we’re talking about. 

Ivette : Um, we’re just talking to just start talking. 

Christa Innis: Uh, I was telling Ivette before we started that I was recording with, um, Kate, this girl Katie, that was on my podcast and we were talking, she’s like, just start recording.

Mm-hmm. And I still felt so weird doing it ’cause I was like, I felt like I still need to introduce her. And she’s like, let’s just see what happens. And I was like. Yeah, so we were talking about this and like, I just feel so, like, I feel like outta sorts, like the planner in me is like, 

Ivette : oh my gosh, 

Christa Innis: but 

Ivette : do I have to do this?

I have to do that. Where do we go next? 

Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s so weird. Like, I don’t know, it’s weird, 

Ivette : but it’s good to be like authentic in it and just go for it. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. That’s true. Mm-hmm. Which I could just like turn off the part of my brain that’s like, it doesn’t matter. Just be you girl. I dunno. Okay, we’re going to, so last week, we, last week, last week on this episode, last time you were here, we did something similar.

We were kind of doing like crazy stories. Mm-hmm. And um, we’re gonna react to one of course, like we always do. But I was thinking too, I’m like, I feel like we could tell so much more. Like, I don’t know, like we have been to, I don’t even know what I’m saying right now. I’m trying. Did you plan for this? No, I have my talking points and that’s it.

Um, my eye is so itchy, it’s like bugging me. Okay. I just went on a walk and so I feel like my allergies are so bad. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. 

Ivette : I don’t have that problem. I’m sorry. I can’t relate, but my husband has that problem and he’s, I’m always like, are you okay? He’s like, oh, my allergies are so bad. I’m like, I don’t, I don’t get it.

I, I’m fine. 

Christa Innis: I know. I usually don’t have ’em. This is the first year. 

Ivette : Oh, 

Christa Innis: really? Yeah. So they could still be coming. You’re young. Just wait. 

Ivette : I used to have ’em when I was like in middle school for like two years and then never again. 

Christa Innis: Really? So fingers crossed it stays that way. It’ll stay that way. You’ll get lucky.

Yeah. 

Ivette : Um, 

Christa Innis: no, I know what I was gonna say, but I was like trying to like protect myself, you know? That’s when I was like, when you start talking with someone, you’re like, okay, wait, should I say that or not? Mm. With Zach. He was on a Patreon episode and we were talking about like groomsmen stories. Mm. Um, after we like finished recording recently, I was like, I was like, Zach, you have crazy groomsmen stories, uh, that like you didn’t talk about.

And then I was like, thinking about when you were on, I’m like, you are my maid of honor. I was like, I wonder if like you have any like crazy stories or 

Ivette : about you? No, I can just, like Christa, she comes off really sweet. But she was the biggest bridezilla ever. No, actually, literally quite the opposite. You were like, oh yeah, I don’t care if you wear pink at my bachelorette party.

I was like, or uh, white. You are like, I don’t care if you wear white at my bachelorette party. I’m like, what? No, they cannot wear white. Like, that’s for you. 

Christa Innis: I feel like at that point I was just like, everybody’s here. Like why does it matter what people wear? Yeah. Also it’s like so awkward, like, maybe this is me too, but like you are like, you like think of that moment of like, oh, cool, it’s my bachelorette.

It’s like my party. But then like when you’re the one in white and everyone’s wearing black, you’re like, for the attention please. Like, yeah. It’s fun to be like, kind of like notice like, oh, you’re the bride. But then it’s like, also please look at my friends. Like they’re awesome. 

Ivette : Yeah. Yeah. For my bachelorette party, we went to, um, a drag show and they, like, they were calling me out because I was a bride, but I, they didn’t quite know who was a bride and they’re all like, it’s this one.

And I was wearing white and I was like, okay, not your typical, like full on, you know? 

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Ivette : So fun. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. Part of me wishes. Like I had, I think the second day of my bachelorette, I was feeling really tired and I was like, I feel so old right now. I don’t know if I was hungover or what, but I remember we were doing the, like, the pedal bus and I was like, oh yeah.

I was like, girl, wake up. I didn’t know that. Gosh, I thought you were just like 

Ivette : having the 

Christa Innis: best time ever. I was having the best time ever, but like, it was like one of those where I was like, I feel like I’m in my thirties right now. 

Ivette : Yeah. Um, you said like if I had any crazy stories, this is not like I just had a friend over who I grew up with, but she’s currently living in Texas, so she stopped by, uh, the other day and she’s planning, so her sister’s getting married and she’s, she was planning kind of like a surprise bachelorette party kind of thing.

Well, part of it was all planned out. It was just like her cousins and really good friends and like the bridal party, but they were at this beach and then all of a sudden all of these women, so her aunts, her mom, her grandma, they all came in their original wedding dress, like their wedding dresses, like with the big poofy sleeves and everything and the veils.

And they all surprised her. And then they went out to all these bars and all the women were like in their wedding 

Christa Innis: gowns. And I’m like, that is so funny. I love that. Did you see that trend a while back? That was like, you go to Goodwill and you buy like an old lady dress? No, but I’ve always wanted to do 

Ivette : that.

Yes. Oh my gosh. Why didn’t we do that for this podcast? I don’t 

Christa Innis: know. We just like wearing eighties wedding dresses. Oh my gosh. That actually would’ve been really funny. My computer’s making sounds. That would’ve been so funny. It’s funny you say that actually, because right before I was getting ready to come on, I was like, oh, we should have done a theme and like.

Or something, but I was like, you literally see like this far up in my head, so 

Ivette : yeah. 

Christa Innis: That’s so funny. I know. That would’ve been really funny if we just like, but we know, we like didn’t talk about it. Like we just like came out and like acted like, yeah. Like it was totally normal. Next time I might need some wine if we do that.

Speaking of, I don’t think I’m a wine person anymore. I don’t know. I bought a glass of wine, I bought a glass, I bought a bottle of wine. Yeah. And I, and my husband Zach was somewhere last night, he was at a friend’s house and I like poured a glass and I was like, I texted him, I was like, I’m pouring this out.

This is like this. I just can’t, what 

Ivette : kind like is it the sugar free 

Christa Innis: wine. 

Ivette : Oh, okay. Is it because like, do you drink other stuff or? No, 

Christa Innis: I honestly couldn’t tell you the last time I had a drink. 

Ivette : Wow. I am so. Like, I’m just proud of you guys because Zach doesn’t drink and now you are not drinking. And I’m, 

Christa Innis: yeah, it’s not like that.

I’m not, like, if I was at a social event, I would maybe have a drink. I’m trying to think. Have I been anywhere where now? I can’t remember. I feel like there was somewhere I was at recently and I had a drink. Anyways, we’re getting off topic again. I don’t even know if there is a topic. Okay. Um, I feel like I always think of like crazy stories that I wanna tell later.

So if as it comes up, it, maybe it’ll, let’s start with, can I, can I 

Ivette : ask you something? Can you hear any noises? No. Okay. ’cause now it’s hear noise. No, like sound can, do we hear voices? Are you hearing voices? Can we hear, um, Matt’s downstairs, um, like cleaning stuff and watching tv, so I just wanna make sure that, oh 

Christa Innis: no, I can’t hear.

No. Okay. Cool. You are all good. Okay. Um. So let’s start with some wedding hot takes. Mm-hmm. These are kind of, kind of in your realm of work, kind of for fun. So let’s just see what you think. Okay. Okay. Um,

let see.

Okay. Do you think surviving wedding planning with your partner is a test of a relationship strength? And what is a, I don’t like these. I’m taking this out. I don’t know. Sorry, Zach. I don’t know what he did for these. It’s okay.

That’s not a hot take. Zach. Those are questions.

I don’t know what he just did. That’s weird. Should we just make it up, thrown off? No, we don’t need them.

What was he doing? This is what happens when I don’t look at notes ahead of time. It’s been so busy. Okay. That’s okay.

Wedding Chaos Rapid Fire

 Okay. We’re gonna switch things up this week and we are gonna do rapid fire. Mm-hmm. So this is gonna be a this or that. So some wedding chaos addition. So, um, just like for different, like wedding things.

Okay. Would you rather cry in the bridal suite over a seating chart or cry on the dance floor in front of everybody? 

Ivette : Cry in private. Is it my wedding? Um, if it’s my wedding, I can cry. I don’t care if it’s not my wedding. I’m not crying and making it about me. This is about them. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. I think these are for your wedding.

I don’t know. 

Ivette : Hmm. I 

Christa Innis: mean, whatever, whatever you’re thinking. 

Ivette : Yeah. That, that was my thought. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. Answer. Um, would you rather have one therapy session before your wedding planning starts? Or unlimited venting voice notes from your best friend? 

Ivette : I would see a schedule, um, a therapy session every week leading up to a marriage, and then after, no, um,

yeah, I have to say therapy. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 

Christa Innis: Okay. Would you rather have a mother-in-law who overs, shares everything, or one who silently judges everything. 

Ivette : Oh, overshare, please. I wanna be comfortable. And 

Christa Innis: you want someone that overs, shares 

Ivette : like my stuff? 

Christa Innis: Yeah. 

Ivette : Mm. I don’t care. I’m pretty vulnerable.

Like, give me what, like what would she share? Like let’s say you, um. If I was pregnant and she was like telling people I’d be pissed. 

Christa Innis: Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. Oh yeah, no. Or like maybe you’ve been like, uh, I don’t know. I’m trying to think of something else. Like you’ve been having really bad pain and you’ve been going to see the doctor and she’s like telling everybody at church or something.

Oh, and what was my other option? Or silently judges you. I think everyone judges, right? Yeah. 

Ivette : So 

Christa Innis: I’m sure everyone like has, I guess that’s fine. 

Ivette : Yeah. Yeah. Now that you say it that way, like I’d rather her just be like, Ugh. And she’s not sharing with people, so that’s fine. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. Keep it an all to ourselves.

Yeah. Um, would you rather forget your vows or say them perfectly while having a visible panic sweat? Um, no, I wouldn’t, 

Ivette : uh,

I would forget my vows. Because I would be able to say great things about my partner either way. 

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yeah. There you go. I’ll get you so well spoken. Oh my gosh. Okay. Yeah, I agree with that because I feel like once you start panicking, can you hear? No. Okay. Really? Yeah. It’s loud down there. Is he like having a drum session or, 

Ivette : I don’t know if he’s watching a movie or something.

I can’t. 

Christa Innis: Okay, good. 

Ivette : I just want, don’t. 

Christa Innis: No, you’re good. Um. Would you rather lose your cool during a dress fitting or during your rehearsal dinner speech? Wait, I’m laughing because I just realized we never talked about my dress fitting. Should we talk about it? 

Ivette : I, I just thought about that. Yes. Tell the story please.

Because I immediately thought about that. 

Blood on the Wedding Dress & the Power of Grace

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Okay. So I’ve, I can believe I’ve never like, shared this before. So when was it my first dress fitting? No, I think it was your second. So it was to try it on. So I went into my dress fitting and I think for that one it was no ’cause didn’t they already?

’cause you had already been 

Ivette : there before. 

Christa Innis: Yeah, this was, 

Ivette : yeah. So this is your second time. So I must have gone, did I go by myself? I think No, Jordan. Jordan went with you the first time, didn’t she? And then I went you the, with you the second time. 

Christa Innis: Okay. Jordan and my mother-in-law, I think went the first time maybe.

Yeah, I, I’m pretty sure. Yeah. Yeah. And so I go and first you okay me, you and my mom pull up, or no, you are maybe behind us or something. We pull up and I called the woman and she was like, um, I don’t have any appointments today. And I’m like, yeah, you have an appointment. Like, we’re outside. Um, and she’s like, Nope, I’m looking at the books.

I don’t have anything. And I was like, uh. She’s like, can you come back? And I was like, well, my maid of honor and my mom like pulled up or are here from like an hour and they live an hour away. Like, we can’t really just reschedule today. And she’s like, oh, okay, I’ll, I’ll be there in like 30 minutes. Can you just go to the local coffee shop?

Which ended up being really cool. That’s a great experience. It was really great ’cause it was friends theme and we’re big fans of friends around here, so that was really cute. But we go back and she’s like, still not there. And then she like. Quickly comes around the front, front lets us in. No, she doesn’t even let us in.

I think we let ourselves in. She’s in the back, doesn’t even come out to say anything. And you can just like hear her back there and she’s like, yeah, I’ll, I’ll be out in a second. And I was like, okay. It was like another, what, 20 minutes? Yeah. 

Ivette : We were waiting for a while. Yeah. And she had, she’s, she was a grandma, right?

Mm-hmm. So she had, was it one grand baby or two? Just the one, I think one was there and she was like, toddler, like she was a toddler. This, this woman is like stressed out, sweating. I can hear like, like in the back, things falling down, being like knocked over. I mean, I feel 

Christa Innis: the 

Ivette : tense, like tension? Yes. And the kid’s like grandma or I don’t even know what it was.

And here I am like playing, I think, I think the little kid had like Easter eggs, like little eggs with like stuff in it or something. That’s what I remember. Oh wow. I don’t even remember that. I was just like trying to like, yeah, like, I don’t know, make the situation a little bit better and entertain the kid, but yes.

So keep going. 

Christa Innis: So then she was like, uh, so what, what was your name? And like, I was like, Christa. And like, she was like flipping through pages back there in this like room in the back. And she’s like, yeah, okay, we’ve got your dress. We’ll we’ll get it on. And she comes rushing out and puts it in the room. And I like go in there by myself.

I like, shut the door or did I go in there by myself? No, I can’t remember. And then I like slowly open it or something. And I was like, Eva, come here. And you’re like, what? And like, so you and my mom came in and I was like, there’s blood all over the dress. Mm-hmm. And like, it wasn’t just like a couple spots, it was like all over, like underneath the layers.

Ivette : Like a trail of like everywhere she was touching, which is the whole. Dress, she was leaving blood everywhere. 

Christa Innis: Yes. And I feel like she like overheard me say that and then like kind of came back and she’s like, oh, it’s just a spot. And then just like quickly sprayed and wiped. And I was like, I’m like internally panicking because like I, I’m like in that point of course, like sure most things can come out, but it’s just like a kind of a weird thing to be like there’s someone else’s blood on your dress when you’re like here to try it on.

Yeah. And she was like panic, like I think she was like panicked doing it fast. Like really fast. Mm-hmm. And I was like, okay, you know what? They said something’s gonna happen wrong during your wedding planning. And I said, this is, this is the thing. And I’m just glad it’s my dress and it’s early. And I think like.

I was internally panicking, but I think like at that point you kind of took the lead and you were just like, okay, what’s going on here? Like mm-hmm. And you were like, just, you’re kind, but you were very like, firm with her. Like, okay, what are we doing here? And she’s like, I’m, I don’t know. And then she like held her hands up and her hands had cuts all over them, almost like she was just moving really fast.

Mm-hmm. So I think what happened is she had me down for the wrong date. And then when I called and said I was outside, she panicked and was like, I have to do this right now. Which if she just said, I forgot, I would’ve been like, don’t worry. Yes. If we 

Ivette : would’ve known, like it wasn’t just, oh, like I don’t have, uh, anything booked, but like, I’m, it’s actually not done.

You, even after that, you are so understanding. Like, I was shocked. I, I saw, I saw everything happen. Like, okay, late stress is going up. Like she’s. In the bath, you can feel the tension. Your stress level’s going up. Oh my gosh. Your dress, your wedding dress is covered in blood stress is like up at the top.

But then once I like talked to her, you talked to her. I think your mom too maybe. I can’t really remember, but I feel like your stress level was like going down and then I feel like at the end of it, did you hug her or is that my imagination? 

Christa Innis: Yeah. So you hugged 

Ivette : her? 

Christa Innis: I could tell she was so like embarrassed and like I, and not to be like, ’cause I feel like there’s people on the internet that like here, like, oh, you’re an empath, blah, blah, blah.

But like I can sense, and some people out there might agree, they might call me weird, whatever. But when there’s tension or I can tell someone’s like trying to hold in. Like if they’re upset, like I can sense it. I swear to God it’s like a sixth sense. I just felt like I believe that. Yeah. So even when she got like the spots, she like tried, she got most of the spots out.

She was spraying it and then I finally tried it on, right? So I’m staying in the mirror and she’s doing her normal thing. But you can tell like she’s holding back tears. Like I could tell she was like, and this poor woman, like she, you could tell she does not do this normally. She kept saying, I’ve never done this before.

I’ve been in business for this long, I’ve never done this before. I’m so sorry. Kept saying sorry. And like, we’ve all been in like shitty positions where like we either forget something or we mess up something, we’re late to something. We, we’ve all done that. And so like I could tell even when she was like looking at the dress and I was standing on the, on the podium or whatever, whatever you wanna call it, she was like holding back tears.

And I think she felt so embarrassed. And so then when we were booking the next appointment, she was like shaking. I remember seeing her hand shake ’cause she was so embarrassed. And I go, Hey, it’s okay. I was like, it’s fine. Like, we are good. You did a great job. And I was like, can I hug you? And I was like, I remember that.

I’m like, I, she was just like, I don’t even know what she said, but like, I was like teary-eyed because I was just like, I feel, 

Ivette : I feel like the tears coming right now because no bride does that. Like, that just like says so much about your character and like, not to like, you know, whatever, kiss your butt.

But no, seriously, like. It’s your wedding dress. Every little girl dreams about getting married and like having the perfect dress and you have a situation and at the end of it, instead of, you know, taking your dress, going somewhere else, you’re being like, I, I better get this for free. Like none of that. It was, Hey, you did a great job.

And I remember you asked her for a hug and she was like, yes. And you, I saw you guys hugging and I remember looking at your mom and we were both like, just so moved by that. And it was just so sweet to see and yeah, such a good story. And when we left, there was still blood on the dress. Like you said that she cleaned it all up.

She didn’t get it all off. Like there was still blood on the dress. Do you remember that? A lot of spots, I think. Yes. 

Christa Innis: Yeah, I think ’cause I was just like. Why, and I don’t know where this comes from, but I’m like, why make someone feel worse? Mm-hmm. And she, she probably feels terrible right now that she like messed up or forgot or, you know, she’s so embarrassed because I read these stories with these bridezillas and honestly, most stories that get sent to me aren’t bridezilla stories.

They’re mostly like family related, whatever. Um, but you read them and you’re like, why make someone feel bad for like a mistake or an accident or you know, like, like I’ve worked in the restaurant industry, I know you have two and it’s like you’ve seed stuff like that too. People are terrible to people in the service industry.

People are terrible to anyone that’s just trying to help them out. And I’m like, I would feel awful leaving knowing that she was like crying because of that situation. I want her to be like, no. I’m still your customer. You’re, you’re busy. You do a great job. I obviously came to you because you were recommended by me.

I’m not gonna leave like a bad review or anything. The dress ended up looking gorgeous. Like, I loved that dress. I still love it. Um, but yeah, I feel like that’s like a, I think it’s like, there’s so many heightened emotions around weddings and I feel like it’s so easy to lose your cool. Of course, like you hear about it all the time, but you to remember like the people you’re working with are human too.

Like they’re allowed to make this. Yeah, absolutely. 

Ivette : Yeah. I’ll never forget it. Yeah, I knew, I was like, no, she hugged her. I remember she asked for a hug, 

Christa Innis: and honestly, that’s kind of, I shouldn’t say out of my character to ask someone for a hug, but like a str like a stranger. I know Something came over me and I was just like, she need, she really needs a hug right now.

And I just felt, ’cause I just, I remember just seeing her handshake as she was like writing the next appointment and I go, Hey, we’re we’re, it’s okay. We’re fine. Yeah, yeah. Wedding day will be great. Like, honestly. And she was like so sweet and she was like, send me pictures of the dress and, you know, all that.

And, um, yeah, I don’t know. 

Ivette : I just, she probably went home that day to like tell her family and then she probably said like, how great you were. And like, I can’t believe it. She hugged me at the end, end and I felt so bad. And, you know, thank God she was a good bride, you know, like a sweet person. Um, yeah, 

Christa Innis: I don’t know.

Yeah, I, yeah. And then she, she was great. I mean, I, and then I recommended, I feel like there’s a few groomsmen in her wedding that went to her and Bridesmaids. ’cause I was like, go to her. She’s great. She’s local for some of us and yeah, she was awesome. Yeah, she was very like, like you said, she was a grandmother, so she’s very grandmother like, motherly, like very sweet.

Like that. And I was like, I’m not about to make someone feel bad for that. Yeah. It’s crazy. I’ve like really never talked about it just ’cause like. I, I never would want it to get back to her like I was like talking about a mistake. 

Ivette : Mm-hmm. 

Christa Innis: But obviously I’m not gonna like, I’m not gonna say the name or anything, but that.

She was amazing and, you know. 

Ivette : Yeah. Yeah. 

Christa Innis: I remember that. 

Ivette : Mm-hmm. 

Weddings, Family, and the Wisdom of Hindsight

Christa Innis: Um, okay. I think there’s like a couple more here. Okay. Would you rather relive wedding planning with your current emotional tools? Or do it all again with zero coping skills? These are so wild. 

Ivette : No. Why? Yeah. Do it now. I would do things so differently now.

Christa Innis: What would you do different? 

Ivette : Um, I think I, I think I, I would try to set myself up for like successful marriage, but a part of me. I feel like I did like 80% of the things that I wanted, but I feel like I could have fought a little bit harder, like stood my ground on like, the 20% of the things that I really was like, I, I need to make sure I do this.

Like, I wish I would’ve incorporated, um, more like family in, in our ceremony. 

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. 

Ivette : Uh, or, um, like more, uh, cultural traditions, although I did have those kind of elements, but even more of that and like embraced it and took pride in it. Um, but it’s all like a growth process. Like you’re, you’re growing, right?

You get married at some people, 20 some people, thirties, but you’re, you’re gonna be different in your twenties from your thirties. So yeah. Great. Obviously. 

Christa Innis: Yeah, I think about that too every once in a while. Like, what would I change? Honestly, I think most everything I, I’m still pretty happy with, but I feel like I was really.

Not con, concerned is the wrong word, but with like the guest lists and stuff, like where I made cuts, I’m proud of. I’m proud of how we were with some of it. ’cause I’m like, oh, if Zach and I had gotten married, like when we first started dating, let’s say 23, 24, it would’ve been a completely different guest list.

I think way bigger. I was gonna say your guest list would’ve been huge. Yeah. I just feel like, ’cause at that point it’s like everyone’s your best friend. I feel like wedding party would’ve been way different. I feel like more of a yes girl. Like, okay, yeah, yeah, let’s do that. We probably would’ve had a, rely more on parents for help or for, you know, different things.

And I just feel like that changes as you get older. If you’re like, you’ve been to more weddings, so you’re like, okay, I like that. I don’t like that. This is my style. That’s not, but there were still outside of that, there were still like people that we invited and then we were like, never talk to them again.

Yeah. And we were like. Just, we invited them ’cause they were like friends of a friend. Mm-hmm. And then I, I was like looking back, so I was like really strict with like, other than our nieces and nephews, I didn’t invite anyone under 21. And I had some like cousins that were like middle teens. Mm-hmm. And I’m like, I wish I would’ve invited them.

I don’t know if a lot of them would’ve come ’cause they, like, they would’ve had a fly and stuff. Yeah. But I’m just like, I kind of wish I invited like all my cousins. Sure. 

Ivette : That makes sense to 

Christa Innis: me. Again, like yeah. Different, if they lived all here, I then, you know, they would’ve all come, but 

Ivette : Yeah. Yeah. I definitely wish I would’ve had more of like my cousins in our wedding party.

’cause we had, you know, I don’t, I didn’t, I have a little brother who’s way younger than me, but all of Matt’s siblings, they were in the wedding party. But I grew up with my cousins who were like my siblings. So I. I had one of my cousins in there, but I wish I would’ve had the other three siblings ’cause they’re like my brothers and sisters.

And that’s something that I’m always like, Ugh. And I asked, I asked actually my cousin last minute, I was like, please. He’s like, okay, what do I need to bring Eva? Like, what do I have, what do I have to wear to match your, your bridal party? And so we made it work, but I wish I would’ve done it like the right way from the beginning so that they felt like special.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. How does it’s like relationships change or like you visualize it a certain way or as you get, or, I feel like we get this idea in our head and then we’re like, why am I making it such a big deal? Like, just come in the wedding or, yeah. It’s like, yeah. No, I totally, I totally agree with that. I think too, like, it’s like, like we had our nieces and nephews in the wedding and I’m like, our one niece that I think at the time was 13.

Mm-hmm. Um, I was like, I wish I would’ve like. Had her like stand the whole time like, you know, with every, with all the bridesmaids and done something special like for her. And then I wish our nephews that weren’t in the wedding were like, had a special role or something. Yeah. So, yeah, I think it’s interesting, but we always think about those things.

Ivette : I think that, I think too, it probably changes out that we’re moms and we’re like family. 

Christa Innis: You know what I mean? 

Ivette : Yeah. Like family. I dunno. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. Maybe that’s it too. I feel like, I don’t know, it’s like I still am very like firm on, ’cause this is one of those most controversial things, and this is a hot take.

Um, it’s a hot, I shouldn’t say a hot take from my end, but like what people, anytime I post a video about kids at weddings mm-hmm. It’s so like controversial. Mm-hmm. There are people that say it’s not a wedding if kids are not invited and there’s people saying, um, don’t invite your kids or don’t. Bring your kids to my wedding because I don’t want them there.

You know? So they’re just like polar opposites. I’m very like, I’ve been to weddings with no kids. They’ve been fun. I’ve been to weddings with tons of kids and they’ve been fun. Sure. Neither of them are going to affect, I feel like how the wedding is. It’s just like if the bride and groom want them there, but I stand is you don’t need your bosses kids there that you’ve never Right.

But if it’s kids that are like in your life and they’re important to you, then yeah, I feel like they should be there. Right. I don’t think it’s like, I feel like it should be a relationship thing. That’s where I’m at. ’cause some people are like, well if their kids are there, then mine should be there. And it’s like, well, do they know your kids?

Have you brought them around? How? Like Right. That kind thing. Just because there are some kids there doesn’t mean that everyone’s kids should be there. Yeah. No, I, I get that. Yeah. That’s my. That’s my 2 cents on that, so. 

Ivette : Oh, yeah. I agree a hundred percent. 

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yeah. But I like, remember when my sister got married, she didn’t invite any kids, so no one, like under 18, I think.

Mm-hmm. And there were like certain family members that like, called my grandma, not even like my mom, but called like my grandma. And we’re like, why aren’t kids invited? And, and we’re talking like distant family members, like, we’re talking like my mom’s cousin mm-hmm. Talking about their kids who like, we barely saw.

Right. And they were like, well, when are the kids? Are the kids getting invited? And we’re like, when’s the last time they like talked to my sister? You know? So like, things like that were kind of weird, but, um, yeah. I don’t know. It’s interesting how people, yeah, you just gotta respect what the brain groom want, I guess.

When a Joke Isn’t a Joke

Mm-hmm. Okay. Before we get too far into this, let me read, don’t worry, this, this story is not as long as last ones. I know Last time our story was so long, so, so long. Here we go. 

Ivette : We almost, it was so long. You’re like, should we stop now and record the other half later? 

Christa Innis: No, I was like, do we need a part two?

Because so much happened. That was with that one. Oh gosh. If you guys haven’t listened all last episode with Eva, I don’t even remember what number it was. Mm-hmm. Um, I should look it up. But it was like the craziest story. Did she become like, it was like about a wedding influencer. 

Ivette : Mm-hmm. And it was like everything had to be, yeah.

Everything had to be to, she was using everything for her content. 

Christa Innis: Yes. Mm-hmm. Yes. That was an insane story. So guys, go back and listen to episode 12. If you haven’t. Um, ’cause it’s wild. Okay. This week’s story, this is about my sister, the bride, and how one joke she made and did with me not showing up to her wedding.

Ooh, ooh, this is getting spicy. Okay. I’ve never heard it from this perspective. It’s always interesting hearing from a different perspective because, um, so many times I post stories and people are like, you know, you’re only getting one side of things. I’m like, yeah, well, it’s usually how stories work, right?

You only get one side. So I just have to take what that, what I can. So it’s interesting to kind of hear from another person. Um, okay. Honestly, I’ve gone back and forth about whether to even share this, but I’ve been sitting heavy on it. And I just need to get it out. I’ve been dealing with depression for years, therapy meds, good days and bad days.

The whole thing my family knows, especially my parents, but I don’t really talk about it too much. It’s just a lot. Anyway, my older sister got married recently. She’s always been the golden child, super loud, super confident, always the fun one at family gatherings. I’ve always been more low key, kind of quiet.

She doesn’t really understand mental health stuff. Never really tried to, but I don’t ex, but I didn’t expect her to be cruel. A few weeks before the wedding, we had the rehearsal dinner at a restaurant. Why is the rehearsals dinner her a few weeks before? That’s interesting to me. Mm-hmm. Or the week of, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Um, just close friends, family and her fiance’s family. She got out to do a test run of her thank you speech, trying to be funny. I don’t know. Then she said this. Huge thanks to my sister for showing up tonight. We were starting to think they’d never crawl out of their sad little dungeon depression Boss level.

Finally defeated. What? No. What? No. That is terrible. 

Ivette : Yeah. That’s so many different. That’s so bad. They dungeon depression. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. I, so she’s basically calling you out in front of everybody. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And especially the fact that she never even tried to understand your depression or talk to you about it or like be a sister to you.

Yeah. And instead is just trying to embarrass you. Oh my gosh. Okay. Everyone left. Full on left and I just sat there frozen, literally didn’t know what to say. After dinner. I pulled her aside and told her straight up, Hey, that wasn’t okay. That joke hurt. And she goes, oh my God, are you serious right now?

It’s just a joke. Get over it. You act like you’re the only one with problems. I didn’t even reply. I just left. Okay. There’s like a lot, I mean, that’s that typ, I shouldn’t say typical. Typical is like the wrong word to say, but that’s that kind of attitude of like, get over it. Mental health’s not real.

You’re fine. We all have issues. You know, it’s like 

Ivette : I 

Christa Innis: just 

Ivette : feel like all of her sister’s hard work. If you already know, like if you know that, okay, I can’t believe you’re here. I’m shocked that you left your dungeon, whatever. I’m shocked you left your bedroom. What makes you think that saying that is gonna make her come out again like that probably took so much courage and shows, oh, I love you, so I’m coming to support you, my sister.

And that’s how you repay her by making fun of it. So what? So you can get a couple laughs in at your wedding and make you look funny, make you look good on your wedding day and, and now look at that like now your sister’s not there. 

Friends and Family Cross the Line

Christa Innis: Yeah. So I know it’s, it’s like they say your, your friends are your, what is that term about like, your friends are sometimes your, like first bullies.

Mm-hmm. So like if her, I mean obviously she’s, I’ve never heard that. I’ve never heard that, but that makes a lot of sense. I see that all the time because I, maybe I made up that. Tell me if I took that from somebody because my, I would always say my friends were my first bullies friends, like that I had in like elementary school, specifically one in high school.

We can get to that because she always pretended to care about me. Like, and then, but she was the first one to put me down in a group. She was the first one to make fun of me, first one to leave me out. First one I remember being at a friend’s house and they were all drinking and I wasn’t, and she like, literally made fun of me and then went back to school and said that I was a, like a narc for not drinking.

Ivette : Yeah, I, as the, as a therapist, like being in that world and having adolescents come to me, I hear that all the time, makes perfect sense. Like, your closest friends are your first bullies or like your friends are your, your bullies. And it’s like, it’s almost more dangerous. Um, ’cause like some, some people don’t recognize it because it’s like, oh, like they’re my friend that they’re obviously not actually bullying me, but No.

Yes, yes, a hundred percent. Um, so yeah. So it sounds like, yeah, the sister’s definitely the bully in the situation and yeah, she has to pay the price. 

Christa Innis: No, no, I was just say because yeah, I feel like it, like you said, it is more dangerous because it’s, that’s striving to be liked, especially depending on the age.

Like you’re striving so hard to be liked and you want that relationship, right? And so you see the good times with this person, or they’re including you in things, right? So you’re unable to see like, oh, they’re including me because I’m the butt of the joke, or, you know, right. Is and, and it’s kind, and this is very like, I don’t know what’s the word, but like, it’s like when you’re, like, if you’re in a bad relationship with someone and you can own, you can see the good moments and you’re like, you guy, you like push past the bad moments, like toxic or abusive or something.

You’re like, oh, but he brought me flowers the next day. So it’s like a friend like that, like. Like that friend I had in high school, it was like, she was so, like when I was the only one, oh my gosh, there’s Christa, oh hey girl. Oh, you wanna go shopping tonight? Oh yeah. But then if there was other people around, it was like, I was like pushed aside, I was made fun of, I was talked about behind my back.

Um, and yeah, that’s kind of, I mean, she doesn’t say that she has any kind of relationship with her. Right. So it sounds like they just are completely different personalities. Yeah. Yeah. Um, okay, so she says. I didn’t even reply. I just left a couple days before the wedding. I texted her and said I wouldn’t be coming.

Kept it short. Told her I wasn’t feeling well, and wished her a beautiful day. She called me immediately flipping out. See, it’s like now she wants her there. She wants that body there. Yeah, because it looks bad if she doesn’t have her sister. Like why doesn’t she mm-hmm. Have that person? She said I was being selfish making her wedding about me, and that I ruined everything over.

One little comment. Now my parents are mad too. Apparently I’m the bad guy. The fact that her parents didn’t even back her up or be like, Hey, maybe don’t, don’t say that about your sister. 

Ivette : I think it’s, yeah, it’s problematic because the, it sounds like this other sister gets her way quite a bit like. Uh, just by like, she’s like the life of the party kind of thing.

And she probably like, is like not sneaky here and there, but she just like makes light of all the situations to get a laugh. And the parents are probably like, oh, it’s fine. Like, you know, your sister, but that doesn’t make it okay. Like, because you’re used to certain patterns or someone’s behavior does not mean that it is okay.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. 

Ivette : And, um, yeah, I, 

Christa Innis: yeah, and I think poor girl. Yeah. I think too, if the sister, the other sister’s the golden child, ’cause she’s like, well liked quote unquote, and like very outgoing. Maybe she’s more friends and gets out and does stuff. They kind of put her on this pedestal, right? So like whatever she does can go, but I’m like, can’t you see your other daughter is like suffering right now?

And like mm-hmm. I 

Ivette : don’t 

Christa Innis: know. That would be 

Ivette : really, and it’s funny that you said like what the sister said was. Oh, I can’t believe, like, did you say she’s making it about herself or something? Like you would think she would apologize? 

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. 

Ivette : Like, I’m sorry, but there I didn’t hear an apology at all. It was all about like, 

Christa Innis: yeah, 

Ivette : yeah, 

Christa Innis: no.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, because she doesn’t care. I keep replaying it all like maybe did I, maybe, did I overreact? I don’t know. But also I was already struggling, and then to be laughed at like that in front of everyone, it just broke something in me. I couldn’t fake it. I couldn’t go and pretend everything was fine just to protect her perfect day, honestly.

I always talk about protecting your peace and if someone’s gonna bully you and say something like that to you. Yeah. It’s like you have to. I feel like she was doing the opposite, honestly. Mm-hmm. She wasn’t making it about herself. She’s like, I’m gonna excuse myself from this because if I go, I risk the chance of being humiliated again.

Maybe someone comes up to me and says, Hey, that speech was really funny from your sister. Mm-hmm. Or, Hey, how’s that whole you, you know, like there, it gives people permission then to keep going. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. I’m proud of her. Good for you for standing your ground lady. Yeah. I, I agree. And it’s like, I feel like it’s, it’s complicated, like all this stuff.

Again, we’re only seeing and hearing one side, so if, if the sister were to write in, I’m sure she would say, right. I did, I did apologize. It was just a joke. Mm-hmm. And anyone that, even if it was just a joke, right, if someone’s calling to you and saying, your joke hurt my feelings and you can’t apologize.

You’re the problem That is a problem. Mm-hmm. Because like even if I were to be like, like make a joke to you right now, and I could tell it hurt your feelings, I’d be like, oh, I’m sorry. Like, I’m sorry I was Yeah. Joking at me in that way. Like, I would never want to hurt someone’s feelings that I care about.

Ivette : Mm-hmm. 

Christa Innis: You know, 

Ivette : my thing is something that I’ve learned to do for, um, just in general, when someone does make a joke that to me is not funny. Instead of like, I don’t know, like fighting them. Like, like instead of, sorry, instead of standing my ground or like defending myself, I’m like, why is it funny? Like, tell me why that’s funny.

And then they’re like, oh, and then they feel stupid because they realize like, oh, I was actually being an asshole, or I was kinda being a bitch about the situation. I’m not supposed to be swearing 

Christa Innis: because you don’t want to, or because I don’t want you to. Um, because I, you, you 

Ivette : blur, you, um, you. The source.

Yeah. Okay. No, you’re good. 

Christa Innis: That’s hilarious. No, um, I’ve actually heard that a lot and I’ve done, I’ve had to do that a couple times. When people say sexist or racist things, I go, I don’t understand. Tell me why. That’s funny. 

Ivette : Oh, yeah, 

Christa Innis: that’s 

Ivette : what, that’s what I mean all the time. I’m like, oh, why is that funny?

Tell it’s funny. Mm-hmm. Yeah. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. I actually had do that not that long ago. Someone was making a joke and I was like, I don’t understand. And then they like didn’t know what to say because then when they have to break it down, they realize how d offensive, ignorant. Yeah. Whatever. Yeah. And then, and I think people learn like then not to say stuff around me and like, I just don’t put up with it anymore.

Craving Real Connection in a Digital World

Yeah. Good for you. The world’s full of enough hate, like I need to make it clear where I stand and I, yes. Joke like that. 

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Ivette : Chris is a girl’s girl, everyone, so always love. Yeah. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. We don’t, we don’t make sexist or racist jokes around here. Yeah. Is that how the kids do it now? Yeah. Wait, how is it this? No. Oh gosh.

Wait. Oh, this. I can’t even do that. Yeah. If you guys are just listening, we’re trying to do this. Girl. I’m just gonna stick the T Swift part. I know 

Ivette : my 

Christa Innis: daughter, she does this because T 

Ivette : Swift, 

Christa Innis: so she, I love 

Ivette : it. 

Christa Innis: It’s funny, you know, like the thing about ask your kids to hold up a phone. Mm-hmm. Cle, my daughter started playing with, um, like pretending to do phone calls.

She has a fake phone. Yeah. Phone. She goes like this. She goes, and she’ll be like, she’s like, hi, spidey. Hi. It’s me. Bye. 

Ivette : I love that. 

Christa Innis: I’m like, oh my gosh, what happened? This, 

Ivette : I’m still 

Christa Innis: like, like the rotary? Yeah. Oh my gosh. My parents had a rotary in their room growing up and I’d be like, oh my gosh. Those 

Ivette : things were so 

Christa Innis: fun to play with.

I know. They were fun. I kind of wish we still had house phones, to be 

Ivette : honest. I keep telling Matt, my husband that yeah, we need, we need a house phone back. 

Christa Innis: Yeah, there’s like pros and cons. Like, I like being able to have a phone, like when we go on a walk or like when, when I don’t know. We are driving somewhere.

Right, sure. It’s like safety reasons, but like, yeah. Sometimes it’s just like nice to be like, I feel like, and I’ve, I think I’ve told you this before too, ’cause like you’ve apologized like, oh sorry. And I’m like, Ivette, you never have to apologize. You’re busy. I get it. Like I never want someone to think that like this is a walkie talkie and that like when I text you, you have to respond right away.

Like, I’m not summoning you. But I feel like there’s like this, like power phones have over us where we feel like, ah. Someone texts me like, I need to get back to them. And like, like I know my, my husband, like Zach has that where he’s like, if I don’t text them back, I feel like I’m like letting them down.

I’m like, people will live. Like if it’s not an urgent request, you can give it a day or two. And isn’t that crazy how that seems long for a text? 

Ivette : Yeah. Oh yeah. I, yeah, for me it takes me ages, so I’m like, whatever. But yeah. That’s crazy. I mean, I feel like, yeah, I hate my phone. I feel like we just need to like, put our phones away as soon as we get home.

Um, don’t use ’em at the same time. I’m addicted to them, but I, I hate texting because I’m such a, like, I like. Connection with people and texting is so impersonal that I’m like, I don’t like it. Like yeah. I would much rather do this FaceTime you call you, even like hear your voice. I much, I would much rather prefer that I’m like old school when it comes to that.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I agree. Like I feel like I don’t wanna tell big news or hear big, big news via text. Mm-hmm. And so I feel like, especially like with you, I feel like we’ll like catch up sometimes and then I’m like, I’d rather like really catch up like in person and like have our, our deep one-on-ones. ’cause I’m like, I feel like texting.

How’s it going? Is for like acquaintances? Yes. Like, hey, how’s it going? Oh, how, how’s everything? Okay, great. 

Ivette : It feels so not real. And I’m like, wait. Yeah. I wanna talk to you. I wanna see you. I miss you. Yeah, 

When Protecting Your Peace Makes You the Villain

Christa Innis: yeah, exactly. Let’s go beyond the surface. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. There’s a little bit, little bit more of the story.

Um, okay. It says, now she isn’t talking to me. It’s been a few weeks. No apology, nothing. Just silence. I keep wondering if I should have just sucked it up and gone for the sake of family peace or avoid the drama. But at the same time, I know how low I felt after that dinner. I know how hard I worked to just show up that night, like you were saying, and then to have her turn me into a punchline, like my pain was entertainment and the worst part, now I’m.

I’m the one everyone’s upset with. My parents say I embarrassed the family that I should have put my feelings aside for one day, but no one’s asking how I felt being laughed at in a room full of people. No one’s asking how hard it was to just be there. I don’t know what’s gonna happen with us. Maybe we’ll talk eventually, maybe we won’t.

That makes me really sad. It’s so hard 

Ivette : because I see both sides a little bit now because it is your big day. You want your sister, but like, if, if that would’ve been the case, then you would’ve apologized and you would’ve been like, shit. I um, I’m sorry. You would’ve said, I’m sorry. Um. And try to mend the relationship so that your sister could go to the wedding.

But I’m on her side, like, you should not feel bad about this. I’m so proud of you again, for standing your ground. And like you said, like they no longer have any ammo to keep doing this to you because now everyone can recognize like, oh no, she’s serious. Like and good for you. Like, yeah, there’s this thing, the like, the Let Them theory or like the, you know, the book, like let them, yeah.

And it’s a little like, just let them, that’s okay. And they’ll live. You’ll live. And hopefully in the future, if it’s supposed to be fixed, it will be fixed. And I hope that you get your apology, but you know, you might not. But what I hope for most is that you can forgive your sister because, which takes a lot of work, but you don’t need an apology to forgive someone.

But if you don’t forgive someone. It’s gonna be eating at eu, that other person’s gonna be living their life not even thinking about it. Does that make sense? 

Christa Innis: Yeah. And that’s why you’re the professional. Yeah. I’m just here to chat. And you like guys, Ivette is, uh, an official, like you 

Ivette : are official. I got my certificate in the mail.

I’m like, yay. 

Christa Innis: Yes. What’s your like, official like title for everyone that’s listening? Licensed professional counselor. So she can give actual advice. I mean, I’m sure like you, there’s like stipulations that you can’t give. Yes. You’re right. Like this is general. I 

Ivette : actually can’t give advice. I’m more like, you go girl, what are we doing?

What are you In general? Yeah. ‘

Christa Innis: cause you’re, they’re not your client. You’re just giving like your professional. Yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah. No, I love that. I. Because I can listen to this story, right. And I can be like, I know what I would do in certain situations, right? Well, one, I in the, I wanna be the little sister that would bully.

I would never call someone out like that. Yeah. Um, but yeah, I get what you’re saying too. It’s like I’ve always, I’ve, I’ve been the people pleaser before too, where you just suck it up and you attend. It is more complicated when it’s a sister versus a friend. Like, yeah, 100%. If a friend treated me like that, I’d be like, I don’t think I can go to the wedding.

I mean, everything’s so complicated. It’s like Right. The whole story. We don’t know the details. Right. We don’t know. We’re not her. And the fact is that she made the best choice for her. And right now it’s gonna be hard looking back and being like, did I overreact? Why do they all act like I’m the villain now?

Because I didn’t show up. But in reality, she, she stuck it to like, I mean, she really held from on her boundaries, which not a lot of people can say. I don’t think I would’ve been that strong. Yeah. Someone did that to me. I’m like, trying to think if, if, if I’m only taking this information right here, I probably still would’ve gone to the wedding.

Yeah. 

Ivette : And I would’ve probably gone. That’s the people pleaser coming out. And I am, I am that way too. And it’s funny that I say that ’cause I don’t think, I really don’t, I feel like you say, oh, I used to be such a people pleaser, but I’ve seen you work so hard on your boundaries, like setting boundaries and being like, because I know, I know your boundaries.

So I know like, I don’t wanna say like what I can get away with or what I not, but like I know what’s acceptable and what’s not acceptable, like around you. And I respect it even more for that. 

Christa Innis: What 

Ivette : boundaries do I have that 

Christa Innis: you 

Ivette : can’t do around me? Um, oh no. Uh, I feel like with, not really with me. I just like.

Respect your privacy, respect that like, you don’t want, you know, you’re protective over your daughter and it makes me respect you more, but also with like, family dynamics or like friend, like, you know what I mean? Like different kind of things. Like you’re firm in that and I’m like, I love you for that. So that’s, yeah.

Yeah. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. I feel like I, I always try to say like, I’m a recovering people pleaser, like I’m better saying like, no to things or like, I know like right off the bat, like, like if Zach’s like, oh, we were invited to this and this, and I’ll be like, that doesn’t sound like something I’m, that would interest me, or I wanna spend my time doing, like, we were talking today about like, valuable friendships or like where we wanna spend our time.

Right? And, and this is not to sound in a certain way, but like, if it’s, let’s say it’s like an old friend of Zach’s that I never met from years ago. It’s like, let’s catch up and get dinner. I’m like, you go have fun. Like I, you take all night. Do your thing, I’ll stay home. Like that’s just for me, that’s just, I’d rather be home.

But if it’s like, let’s catch up with our good friends and like have a date night. Yeah. I’m in. Yeah. So it’s like really like spending time of like, what’s gonna bring you joy and, ’cause I feel like a lot of times in my twenties, like I would just say yes to things because like someone would invite us and we’d go Yeah.

And I’d be like, I wanted to stay home and I didn’t listen to myself. Yeah. And now I’m just like, no, I wanna do this. Or um, yeah. And I feel like, I feel like it’s just we have to listen to those, those gut feelings ’cause they’re there for a reason. 

Ivette : Yeah. No, yeah. That’s good. Yeah. 

Christa Innis: I think I say something else.

You were saying something else and I was like, oh yeah, that’s a good point. Um. I think too well, yeah, about like boundaries and stuff. Like, so many times people think like if you have a boundary, you’re like rude. And I think that’s what I told myself this whole life, this whole life, this whole life. When I was younger, like I didn’t know what boundaries were.

Right? And I thought, like if people said no, like you’re rude, like they’re gonna talk bad about you. But in reality, like if you just say things respectfully or like you just carry yourself in a certain way, people then just kind of like learn like, oh, like this is not what, like is okay with this person or just don’t, you know, say this around this person or mm-hmm.

You know, that kind of thing. Like, 

Ivette : like back to what I said, I think when you start to implement boundaries in your life, like it, it equals respect because people recognize like, oh, they respect themselves enough to like stand up for themselves, that it makes them. Hopefully respect them, and if not, like, then they’re cut off.

You know what I mean? But essentially, like what it does is it builds respect and I, yeah, 

Christa Innis: yeah, yeah. Because yeah, I think I would’ve like in the, like if this happened to me in my twenties or something, like whether it was like my sister or a friend of mine or something, right. I think I would’ve gone, and then I would’ve like let it eat at me and I would’ve just held onto this, like you said, like if you don’t, it would just like affect you.

Like you would just hold onto it. And then like every little thing they would do would probably make me mad or I would just hold onto this grudge and it would probably just be bigger. Um, and yeah. ’cause there were friendships I held onto for a long time that were like, they were awful to me. Awful. And like, I could, I can still think about all the things I did.

And then literally, it was like one day in my like mid twenties, I was just like, I’m not gonna call that person. And then they didn’t call me and it was just kind of just like, yeah, hard time. Um. But yeah. So yeah, I mean, I’m, after her kind of describing how she all felt after it. I don’t blame her one bitch.

She knew what, what she needed to do to protect her peace in that moment, and I would never, I won’t ex, if I were her, I won’t expect apology. An apology. Mm-hmm. It doesn’t sound like the sisters want to apologize if she can’t see why you’re hurt now. Unless she grows a lot over the next, you know, year or so.

I don’t know. Maybe 

Ivette : it’ll happen, you know, that there’s gonna be some kind of conversation in the future about this, your sisters, you know, like, 

Christa Innis: yeah. 

Ivette : Yeah. It’s not 

Christa Innis: happen. It’s complicated. 

Ivette : Mm-hmm. 

Christa Innis: All right. That was a crazy story, and that was sad. Sometimes they end and they’re sad, and I’m just like, like, you know, I, I make these like skits online and they’re so like, drama filled and they’re entertainment, but like, deep down, a lot of these stories, there’s so much like heartbreak and hurt.

Like I make them in an entertaining way that’s like goofy characters. Right, right. But there’s so much heartbreak and hurt in a, all of these stories that it’s just like to go through this. Like, I don’t know how some of these people go through these things and just like, move on. Like how family members are terrible to them and they have to like show a brave face.

Like, I, I don’t know. I don’t know how they do it because it’s, I feel very lucky that I’ve never had to deal with something like super intense, like these stories. 

Ivette : Yeah. Yeah. Same. I, I don’t think I’ve had anything too crazy like that either. Like I can, I can sit here and like look at my life and complain about this, this, and that, but in reality, no.

Like. My parents, my extended family, my immediate family, my husband, my in-laws, like they’re actually really good to me. Like really lucky. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. That’s awesome. All right, let’s end on some weekly confessions here. I’ve been on a high note. Yeah. I mean, we’ll say these confessions go, but we can, I know you’re fine.

Okay. Um, my husband’s mom walked around, I’m guessing at their wedding, telling everyone she wasn’t taking pictures with me. I

Why? What bit, why deliberately do that though? You just want someone to ask questions. Like, why, why don’t you like her? 

Ivette : Like. Yes. She’s evil. She’s the, what is it? Momzilla? Yeah. Yeah. Mm. 

Christa Innis: Funny. 

Ivette : Monster. Monster in-law. Monster. That’s what it, that’s what it is. 

Christa Innis: Why do, why are they like that? Um, this one says, I wish I’d had the guts to tell my bestie not to bring his attention.

Seeking girlfriend. Oof. Ugh. That’s complicated. That’s complicated. Complicated. We’ll leave it at that. Yeah. I just read a story. I think it’s coming out in a well, by the time your episode comes out, it’ll already be out, but it’s a similar story. Well, I mean, this one’s really short, but where it’s like a guy, girl best friend.

They like say best friends for years through marriage and like kids. Mm-hmm. Well, her on her side, marriage and kids. And then when he goes to get married, it’s like a girl that like hates her and it’s like this weird relationship. And so like, I feel like that’s like complicated and it’s like, hmm. Okay.

Last confession. My flower girl was absolutely out of control at my wedding. Her parents did nothing. Watch your kids. Ugh. 

Ivette : I get that. Like a kid’s gonna be a kid. Sure, but you gotta watch your kids. Like a kid’s gonna be a kid, but the parent has to be a parent. Like you wanted a kid, you gotta parent the kid.

So I, yeah, 

Christa Innis: fair enough. That’s one of the biggest things I see is like the kids aren’t the problem. It’s when the parents don’t watch the kids at the wedding. That’s the problem. I mean, but that’s like all circumstances, right? It’s like. I could go to a restaurant with my child and she could pick up like a box of creams and just throw it all over.

And I just look at them. I’m like, whatever. She’s a kid. Or I’m like, no, we’re gonna get on the floor. We’re gonna pick ’em up. Right, right. And so it’s like showing her, um, like, ’cause I was, I, I was just telling my husband, like, we were at the library and like there was, um, and again, like, I don’t want this to come off like I’m judging because we’ve all been in situations where like, we’ve left a place and we’re just like, wait, did I, did I pick up whatever?

But like, we were at the library and this little boy’s just throwing stuff, like literally throwing like, there’s like a crate of toys. He’s in there throwing it. The mom’s like kind of around, kind of on her phone. Phone, yeah. Walking around. She, and then she finally sees him and, and I’m there with like my friend and our, our kids and we’re like reading a book to them.

And he’s throwing stuff. It’s like hitting the girls and I’m like just kind of grabbing it. I’m like, oh, ha ha. Like trying to make light of it. She walks over, finally sees him and she’s like, oh, you made a mess over here. So I’m thinking she’s gonna sit there and be like, this is how we clean up. All of a sudden they’re just gone and the other, no, they’re on the other side of the library, so they’re still there.

Ivette : Like, Hey, you got this, or 

Christa Innis: Thank you. Literally it was like, you’re fine. And then like a minute later, then he’s like pulling books off the shelves and he was like old enough to know better. Like it wasn’t like a one or 2-year-old. Yeah, like, and so it was one of those things where I’m just like, kids are gonna be kids.

Absolutely. Like I would never fault a kid for like throwing stuff or like pulling books off, but it’s like, take that risk step. So that is like kind of the risk you have with having a flower girl, but also like the parents are there. Yeah. Step in a little bit. Yeah. 

Ivette : And like moving, like moving forward your next wedding.

No, but like, just a tip for other people is like having guidelines for the parents. Like, Hey, you know, she’s a little young. Could, could you, like, if you see her maybe like doing this or that, could you kind of like redirect her and help her out? That would be like a good conversation to have. 

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah.

Definitely. All right. Well that is all we have for this week. Um, what exciting things do you, do you want to share? What’s, what’s going on? I’m going to Norway. I’m so excited for you. 

Ivette : You knew that. Yeah. If you didn’t know that, I did know that. That’d be really bad. Yeah. And my best friend, um, is one of my best friends is selling her house.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. 

Ivette : She lives in Wisconsin and she’s moving to Huntley. You.

I was like, you’re like, who the hell are you talking about? 

Christa Innis: I was like, Tamika’s moving. She lives in Wisconsin. Um, I’m taking all that out, by the way. Okay. Don’t ever talk about where I live. Oh, 

Ivette : okay. You’re okay. No, you’re fine. Don’t ever talk about where I live. 

Christa Innis: No, I’m saying I don’t talk about where 

Ivette : I live.

I’m kidding. 

Christa Innis: There you go. That’s really funny though. Um, all right. Thank you so much for coming on. It’s always so funny. You know, it’s fun. Like, this was like three months last time you Oh, you came on last fall. Remember? Yes. Before you even 

Ivette : had a podcast. 

Christa Innis: Yeah, we 

Ivette : got this last year. 

Christa Innis: We like did it in the future.

Um, all right, well, I guess this is it. Thanks for having me. How do we say goodbye? Uh, I’ll see you soon in person. Can’t wait. Oh, yeah. I’ll see you next weekend. Okay. All right. Bye. Love you. Bye. Love you. Bye bye.