family expectations

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Ever wondered what happens when your wedding is full of chaos and family feuds?

This week on Here Comes The Drama, the wedding chaos reaches next-level insanity! Christa dives into a jaw-dropping story about no-kids wedding rules, a sister’s outrageous demands, and family drama that almost derailed the big day. Then, Christa and Sarah Wizeman break down the wildest wedding confessions from listeners, from toxic in-laws to surprise pregnancy announcements to overzealous sister-in-laws calling off weddings!

Plus, Sarah shares her incredible journey as an author, her book The Invisible String, and her plans for monthly romance and bridal story releases—complete with skits on TikTok and YouTube. This episode is packed with drama, laughs, and insider wedding chaos you won’t want to miss.

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Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

• Wedding Mayhem & Resilience – How one bride navigated disappearing vendors, last-minute disasters, and chaos on the big day while still celebrating joyfully.
• Balancing Tradition & Personal Meaning – How couples can honor family customs without losing the parts of the day that matter most to them.
• The Stress Trap – Why brides often look back wishing they stressed less—and what mindset helps you avoid that spiral.
• Wedding Gifts Gone Wild – Listener confessions reveal the strangest gifts ever received… including a used kitchen appliance and a mountain of condoms.
• Regifting Rules – Mariah breaks down the etiquette: yes, you can regift… but absolutely not if it’s visibly used.
• The Wearing-Black Debate – Is black at a wedding disrespectful? Mariah explains the evolving etiquette and cultural considerations.
• Mindset on the Big Day – Why waking up with the right perspective can make or break your wedding.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

• “If you wake up on the wrong side of the bed and stub your toe, it’s the end of the world. If the sun’s shining? You laugh it off.” – Christa Innis
• “Three things are gonna go wrong today—whatever. Just enjoy being surrounded by people who love you.” – Christa Innis
• “You don’t want those little things getting to you on a day you’ve waited your whole life for.” – Christa Innis
• “I’m always reading stories about wedding etiquette, but hearing it from an expert hits different.” – Christa Innis
• “Know your options… and maybe don’t gift someone a used turkey roaster.” – Christa Innis
• “Your job is to create a great experience for guests without losing the wedding you dreamed of.” – Mariah Humbert
• “Respect the traditions that matter to your family, but don’t let them erase what’s meaningful to you as a couple.” – Mariah Humbert
• “The one thing I wish I did differently was stress a little less.” – Mariah Humbert
• “Regifting is fine—but if it’s used, that’s a hard no.” – Mariah Humbert
• “Black at a wedding isn’t taboo anymore. Just be mindful of cultural context.” – Mariah Humbert

*This conversation is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek a licensed professional for your specific situation.

About Mariah

Mariah Grumet Humbert is a renowned etiquette expert and author, specializing in weddings and social celebrations. With years of experience guiding couples, families, and event hosts, Mariah combines her expertise with a warm, approachable style, helping people navigate the often tricky world of etiquette with confidence and grace. She is the author of What Do I Do: Every Wedding Etiquette Question Answered and The Essential Wedding Planner, and she shares her knowledge across her website and social platforms, including Instagram and TikTok. Known for her practical advice, attention to detail, and ability to bring calm and clarity to high-stress situations, Mariah is the go-to resource for anyone looking to celebrate life’s milestones with style, respect, and ease.

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Your ultimate wedding etiquette guide is here! Mariah Humbert answers every question you didn’t know you had—so your big day is smooth, stylish, and stress-free: What Do I Do?: Every Wedding Etiquette Question Answered

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A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis:  Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of Here Comes The Drama. I’m your host, Christa Innis. And first things first, I wanna apologize to you guys because my voice is rather raspy today. It’s gotten a little worse over the, over the week and, um, I feel like it’s straining now. So, um. I apologize in advance if it cracks a little bit during this episode.

Um, I felt like I was kind of straining to read towards the end there, but I still had a lot of fun with it, so I’m sure you will still enjoy it. Just the same. It was just me on the other end, kind of struggling a little bit. I’ll be going on a little voice sabbatical after this, drinking some tea and, and resting the best that I can.

Um, of course by the time you guys listen to this, I’ll be, I’ll be long past this. I’ll be, I’ll be much healthier, better, and vocally charged me. Um, in case you guys missed it, um, we’re doing a little giveaway this month. Um, just share on social media, either a screenshot of you listening to the podcast, um, a picture of yourself listening to the podcast, your review, and then just tag me.

Um, we’re gonna pick four winners that win $50 Amazon gift cards, and the winners will be announced on the February 12th. Episode. Yes, that is correct. I had to double check there. Um, but we are, you guys are in for a great episode today. I have etiquette and image consultant, author and founder of Old Soul Etiquette, Mariah Grumet Humbert, and she answers.

All the big questions when it comes to etiquette and your wedding. You guys have been asking for etiquette expert for a long time, and someone recommended her to me and we just had such a great time chatting. Um, I pulled off some of your guys’ questions from social media, um, answering questions like, do you need to send a gift?

If you are invited to a wedding but you cannot attend, um, can you ask someone to step down from your wedding? Um, how does money or paying for your event come into play when they can?

Or something like how does control come into, or something like how do decisions come into play when someone’s paying for part of your wedding? She answers all the questions and we have a great time chatting and doing some rapid fire as well. And then of course, at the very end we react to one of your wild, crazy, and very.

Positive wedding stories, but also very shocking in a lot of ways. So without further ado, please enjoy this episode with Mariah.

Hi, Mariah.

Mariah Humbert: Hi Christa. I’m so happy to be here.

Christa Innis: Thank you so much for coming on. I’m so excited to talk to you. I had so many people recommend you to me being like, we need to have an etiquette expert on your show. And I was like, I have to reach out because I think it’s such a perfect crossover of having your expertise in sharing everything you know about etiquette.

Mariah Humbert: Well, that’s so sweet. I’m so excited to dive into all of the things that we have to talk about today. Yes.

Christa Innis: So before we get started, can you just share a little bit about yourself and then what you do?

Mariah Humbert: Sure. So my name is Mariah Grumet Humbert. I’m the founder of Old Soul Etiquette. I’m a certified etiquette and image consultant.

I’ve written two modern wedding etiquette books and my whole philosophy on etiquette is about using it as tool, a tool instead of these kind of rigid rules. And you know, I work with companies and individuals all over the country to help them look, feel, and think their best so that they can really go out in the world and shine their light in the way that they’re meant to.

Christa Innis: I love that because I feel like when it comes to like weddings and events, we hear a lot about etiquette. Like, this is proper etiquette. No, this is proper etiquette. Yes. And so what would you say is the difference between etiquette and opinion? Because I feel like that’s something too, is like. Opinions come into play.

Also, where you’re located on the map might come into play. Absolutely. So what’s your take on all that?

Mariah Humbert: So I think when we think about modern wedding etiquette, the most important thing to keep in mind is the why behind the rule, so to speak, right? That that have existed in terms of like wedding etiquette, tradition from years and years ago.

Why are we doing these things? The answer to that question in most cases is to give our guests a good experience, to make our guests feel welcome and taken care of. But with that, it is our one day that we can, you know, kind of have the dream day that we want and make decisions based on our interests and our preferences as a couple.

And so I think it’s really about that balancing act of how do I not give up my vision and my dream day. But let’s not forget. That I’m taking care of a huge room of people who I wanna have a really good experience for.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. I love that because I feel like a lot of times we get caught up in the, I don’t wanna say bridezilla, but like that if the bride has a boundaries or expectations, she’s labeled a Bridezilla.

Mm-hmm. But the other way around is like, yes, they are also your guests, so we should also consider our guests needs as well. Yes. It’s not just a one way street.

Mariah Humbert: Absolutely. And it, it’s even goes beyond the guests too. Like that made me think when you said Bridezilla, which I’m, so, I’m a little scared of that word, right?

I, no one thinks that I was when I got married, but, you know, I, I think too that so much of wedding planning, even before the event comes from how you consider the people involved. So, so much of that comes from communication and I think when it comes to setting boundaries or making decisions as a couple, having, you know, the.

The balance of power over decisions between family members. All that comes back to how we can communicate our needs and interests, but also, you know, be willing to hear out others too. So even before the big day, making sure that sometimes we don’t think about etiquette as communication, but it, but it really is, it’s a, it’s, it’s about putting our best foot forward for ourselves, but also for others.

Managing Family Dynamics and Wedding Finances Without Losing Your Sanity

Christa Innis: Yeah. So like right off the bat, how would you, this just comes to mind ’cause one of our, our most popular topic, I would say is either a mother of the groom or mother of the bride coming in and like controlling the wedding, planning things behind their back, just taking things from the bride. How would you, like, as a, as a bride listening, if that’s something they’re going through, how would you handle that situation?

Like right off the bat?

Mariah Humbert: So let’s even go before that can even happen. So coming up with a really clear game plan with your partner is going to be key here. So you are actually setting intentional time to sit together and make a game plan. You know what your parents are like, right? And so you can kind of anticipate how, not always, but you can try to anticipate how the dominoes are gonna fall or how the puzzle pieces are gonna fall into place.

And so having that conversation ahead of time where you can say, this is our game plan. This is the, you know, we’re agreeing on this. This is our plan of action, so that if things do kind of hit the wall, you can go in as a couple. Mm-hmm. I also say when you have any kind of. Issue arising with a family member.

In my opinion, it’s very important for that member of the couple to handle that, their respective family. Um, so, you know, if you have to have those difficult conversations, you can both be involved, but let that member of the couple lead. Um, but I think that with that really kind of laying down the law in the beginning of this is what our vision is, this is what we’re doing.

Um, but it gets tricky too, and this is, we can dive deeper in this. It’s very nuanced when you have. Family member is contributing financially, and you have to give up a little bit of that control. So I would say before an issue can even happen, get ahead of it by really having a clear game plan with your partner.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I know. I feel like I try to say when we get these stories, I’m like, there’s usually some kind of red flag or some kind of hint ahead of time that maybe something’s going to erupt. I don’t feel like it always comes from left field, like, whoa, I’ve never seen this side. Sometimes I’m sure it does. Um, but I feel like a lot of times there’s like, oh, she did make comments that about blank, so then it kind of happens this way.

So I love that you said that.

Mariah Humbert: And etiquette too, I always say is that it’s really just a fancy word for social awareness and emotional intelligence. So if you can really tap into that and try and anticipate or get ahead of what these issues might be, you can also, um, you know, so much of success in relationships comes from that communication and preparation.

Um, so I always say have, have those game plans set aside ahead of time. It really makes a big difference. And I, and I also tell people, if you know that you’re going to have a particularly difficult family member, where can you give them the place to feel valued in another area? So if you know that your mother-in-law or your mom or somebody, your aunt, grandmother, whatever sister, whatever it is, is going to try and take over in some way, get ahead of that by giving them a job before they can take away something that’s super important to you.

So, for example, if you’re like, I don’t even know what colors, this is such a random example, but I don’t even know what colors I wanna do for invitations. Uh, you know, we’re having trouble making a decision. You’re, you have such a good eye for that. Can you do some research of, um, you know, within the style of wedding that we’re trying to have, can you come up with some ideas? Make them feel valued and needed in a, in an area that is not super, super key to you.

Um, and that might, may help them let off. In some other areas, but listen, I mean, sometimes it’s not perfect and you have to put your foot down and have those difficult conversations.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And so you also brought up like when they are financially helping in some way, so what’s your take on that? If they are helping?

Do they have more of a say in controlling the wedding? Or how, how do they that, how does that come into play?

Mariah Humbert: So in my first book, I talk about this kind of step by step, way of having these conver the, the financial conversations with your family members. So the, the first one is obviously having the conversation with your partner, doing the research in advance.

So, you know, not exactly how much things cost, but okay, I wanna have a large wedding in this geographical area with, you know, maybe. This, this band, this is the general cost of what things are going to be. So then when you take the conversation to your family members, it’s not a free for all. You’ve done your research, you have a, it’s almost like you’re treating it as a business meeting.

You have an agenda of what you wanna cover. You’re also taking into consideration the timing of the meeting. It’s only for the people who need to be involved. There’s not extra voices, right? So you have maybe one with your in-laws and one with your parents, depending on who’s financially contributing.

And then you really, you know, with the willingness to compromise and be flexible in areas, you have to be straightforward and confident in your questions of saying, are you able to contribute? Are you, um, how much are you able to contribute? Being straightforward about those questions. And then again, that balance of power over decisions.

What is super non-negotiable for you and your partner, sacred to you, important to you? Those decisions should be made by you. And I think we live in this new era now too, where. Not all, but, but some parents are starting to understand that these events are for the couple and not a family reunion. Yeah. Um, but I think it’s, it’s about letting them feel valued and included in, in places where you might not have a tight grip on.

Christa Innis: Yes. No, I think that’s such an important thing to say because you. I think a lot of times it’s miscommunication and I think it’s all out of love. Yes. And where they just, they’re very excited. Right. So they want Yes. Involved. And so it comes off as like sometimes it can be controlling and sometimes it can be like, they’re taking this from me.

Right. Where you make a good point where it’s like, okay, in the beginning, sit down together, have this conversation and not saying that’s gonna solve all problems. I’ve read some wild stories where totally. Where no matter what, there’s gonna be something happening. Um. But that’s, that’s a really good point, and just kind of like having control in the beginning of being like, we looked this through, this is what we can afford here.

Yes. If you wanna help in this area, that would be really helpful.

Mariah Humbert: Another point too with that is, you know, now that we live in this modern time of different financial contributions, right? In the past it was like the bride’s family paid for the wedding, and that’s sort of how it went. Mm-hmm. Now there’s so many different methods of paying for weddings.

Couples are paying them for them by themselves. Both families are contributing, one family is contributing. And so if you have both families contributing, even if it’s the not, not the same monetary value. Giving them kind of equal responsibility. So for example, don’t, don’t have one, you know, family member pay for the table linens, and then one family member is paying for the most important, you know, the, the vendor or the vendors that day, like the photographer or this or that.

Try and split it so that, you know, one takes the photographer and one takes the videographer. So it it, so it feels a little bit more equal. So nobody’s feelings are getting hurt. But I also think too, when it comes to dealing with difficult parents, like you said, it it most of the time, again, not everybody’s this lucky, but most of the time it comes out of love and excitement and most people just want to feel heard and acknowledged.

And so if they’re giving you a hard time that they’re paying for your dress and they want you in this one, sometimes that conversation needs to start with I hear where you’re coming from, you’re excited, and you know what? You’ve been so gracious to pay for this, so your opinion does matter to me however.

Mm-hmm. And then you go into, you know, this is my day. This means so much to me. But just telling them that their opinion matters to you. Most people just wanna feel heard. Right. Right.

Christa Innis: And I know, I feel like it always starts off as this little thing that maybe like someone misheard or something happened and then it just keeps growing, growing, and growing.

And before you know it, it’s a full on explosion. Totally. And invite people. And it’s wild how, um, I feel like a lot of these stories are sent to me. Just a little bit of communication could have maybe helped it not, again, not all cases. I don’t want people being like, it couldn’t helped in mine. Um, but I think a lot of situations it could.

Mariah Humbert: Absolutely. And then everybody’s emotions are so high during this time. Yes, it’s excitement and it’s joy, but it’s also stress and it’s emotional for the couple, and it’s emotional for the parents. And so again, clear communication that’s not throwing it at a family dinner where there’s 10 people at the table.

It’s pulling people aside. It’s making intentional time for these conversations and just constantly trying to get ahead of the issue. If you can.

Wedding Gift Etiquette, Thank You Notes, and Handling Uninvited Guests

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah, I love that. Okay, so I reached out to my audience on different platforms and asked for some etiquette questions. Yay. Things they’re going through or things they’ve seen.

Okay. So it says, “I was told if you went to someone’s first wedding and gave a gift, you don’t have to give one at the second wedding.“

Mariah Humbert: I’m going to disagree with that, but I always say that the gesture of giving a gift is much more about the gesture and not about the monetary value. Um, so perhaps your gift is not of the same monetary value, but it’s something that you’re sending that works with your budget.

Um, that would be the gracious thing to do in that situation.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I couldn’t imagine like, especially someone that you really care about if they found their new love, like, doesn’t matter, the first wedding didn’t work out. I couldn’t imagine showing up and not giving a gift. But like, if there’s someone important to me and I’m going to their wedding, I want to bring them something.

Mariah Humbert: Totally agree. And it’s about the gesture, not about how much you spend.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I love that. Okay. “What’s a tactful, easy to ask if they received my gift. If some time has passed and you haven’t received a thank you card.”

Mariah Humbert: I get this question a lot, so I, there’s two, two ways you can go about this. Um, the first one would be to give them a heads up in the beginning.

And I wanna let you know there’s a package coming your way. Um, please let me know that you received it. Um, otherwise I think that there’s no issue in kindly reaching out and saying, I know there’s so much going on with the mail these days. I wanna ensure that. Our gift made it to you and you don’t need to make it about, oh, I I, you may have not gotten to thank thank you notes yet or anything like that, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with ensuring that your gift made it to someone.

Christa Innis: Yeah, because I’ve definitely done that before. Just like reaching out, being like, Hey, it looks like it arrived. Just wanna make sure, or like same, same as you said, like mail’s kind of weird. Just wanna make sure you got the package. Um, ’cause I have heard like very. I don’t know how to say it. People that didn’t get thank yous and calling that out specifically.

Some, a friend of mine told me a story where she was like, I had a great aunt of somebody. They basically call me out and say, why haven’t you written thank yous yet? And it was like around the holidays, like a lot was going on and she’s like, so I felt very targeted.

Mariah Humbert: So I, I’m, I’m a big proponent of thank you notes,obviously. I’m etiquette trainer, like I obviously still champion handwritten thank you notes, but I will say that it’s poor etiquette to point out poor etiquette. So if you know, you can think to yourself that I love thank you notes. So when someone doesn’t send one, I’m totally noticing, but I would never point that out.

But that’s a generational thing. I mean, I get comments on my social media from the older generation saying, what do I do when I’ve sent so many nice wedding gifts and I have not received thank you notes? And the answer is nothing. You know, it’s not a, you weren’t giving the gift for something in return, right?

So there’s nothing for you to do. But for the people listening, write your thank you notes.

Christa Innis: I love a thank you note. I, I’m right there with you. I love a handwritten thank you note. Thank you note. I remember my husband and I after our wedding, I was like, we like split out, like all the people that came to the wedding or just gift.

And I was like, okay, we need to get like 10 done a day. So smart.

What do you think the proper, like time frame after a wedding is to be able to send one?

Mariah Humbert: A wedding is different than a regular thank, you know, obviously, because you have to take into, into consideration honeymoons. Maybe people are, you know, moving in together. There’s, it’s a big life event.

So I would say, you know, if you could do it in six, from six to eight weeks from your wedding, that would be ideal. However, it’s never too late. So if life comes up and you haven’t gotten to them and you’re thinking to yourself, this is past the point of no return, it’s not, you can still send them.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Okay. Awesome. Um, “should you give a gift at the wedding and the shower if you’re invited to both.”

Mariah Humbert: So this is very geographical. I found in my research when I was writing my book. So I was raised in the, in the northeast, and the custom here is that you typically give a physical gift for the shower off the registry, and then you would give a monetary gift for the wedding. That’s the way that we do it in the northeast.

But I understand that it’s not that way everywhere. Um, I know the south, they like physical gifts and you know, in other places it’s, um, so I think that again, I would recommend doing a gift for both, whether that be a monetary gift or a physical gift. 

Now, a few things to consider. Consider your budget. Again, like I said about the gifts originally, this is about the gesture of you giving the gift, not the actual gift, right? It’s not about the actual monetary value. So do what you can think about it ahead of time. Come up with the budget for the gift, and then split that between, or if you perhaps wanna do something larger for the shower, you do something smaller for the actual wedding.

Um, and in most places in the country, I have to say, ’cause not all, it’s not proper to bring a physical gift to the wedding unless it’s a card with a monetary gift.

Christa Innis: Mm. Yeah. I feel like that’s pretty normal. Like where I’m from, the Midwest, like we. Typically we’ll bring like the physical gift to the shower and it’s like a card to the wedding.

I think in our old wedding we had a few people bring gifts. Mm-hmm. Like off the registry, which was great. We just didn’t, we didn’t expect it.

Mariah Humbert: Right.

Christa Innis: Um, but yeah, I feel like that’s a great idea of like thinking about your overall budget. Like okay, I know I’m invited to both my budget’s 200 or whatever, so I’m gonna do 50 for the shower and one 50 for the wine.

Exactly. That’s really smart. Exactly. Then you’re not empty handed at the shower. Um. And because I think a lot of times people think then, oh, I have to go and I have to spend all this money for both things. So thinking about it, big picture is great.

Mariah Humbert: Yeah. It doesn’t, it doesn’t need to break your, your budgets because you know, you have, you may have to travel, you may have, if you’re like me, you have 150 weddings in a year.

So it’s, you know, you have to kind of plan ahead.

Christa Innis: Yeah, so you brought up a good point, point just now saying if you have to travel, so another thing I’ve seen is if you do have to travel to a wedding, like playing for a hotel flight, all that, you don’t have to give a gift, like a monetary gift. What is your take on that?

Mariah Humbert: I’m gonna say the same exact answer is that. Something, it’s a, could be a cookbook, it could be all the friends pitch in for a gift card to their favorite restaurant. It doesn’t have to be, you’ve spent so much money traveling, so it’s, again, it, it could be a candle for their home. Right. I’m not, I’m not trying to tell people that they need to spend more than they’re able to just think about the gesture.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. Okay, great. Um, “if you are given a dress code for a wedding, but you can’t afford the new outfit to fit the dress code, what’s the proper protocol for that?”

Mariah Humbert: Oh, this is a good question. I would say to, I feel like I need a little bit more context because, you know, I, I feel like there’s a lot that you can do to work into dress codes, but I would say if it’s black tie and you can’t afford a tuxedo, then, you know, a black suit would be the best next option. I wouldn’t say don’t go, but I would say respect to the dress code as much as, as you can, there’s a reason why that couple designated this dress code for their wedding, depending on their preferences or their venue.

Um, but I feel like I would need a little more context because I feel like there’s a lot, especially as as women, that you can kind of fit into to many dress codes.

Christa Innis:  Right. Yeah. Like if it’s, if they’re like need like a very specific color, I could get that

Mariah Humbert: Right.

Christa Innis:  Very hard. But, um….

Mariah Humbert: And also there’s a lot of rental options out there too for tuxedos and for, you know, gowns, dresses. So don’t, don’t purchase one if you don’t need to. There’s plenty of rental options or borrow from one of your friends.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.  Yeah, that’s a great idea.  Um, okay, I’ve got a couple more. Um. If I got a couple, or “if I got a gift from a couple that does not live together, should I send two separate thank yous?”

Mariah Humbert: Oh, that’s a good question too. These are really good questions. I would say, again, this will depend on the individual situation. If one member of the couple is the. The, the relationship you have. So perhaps this is, you know, your friend from college and their boyfriend that they met after college that you don’t have a great relationship with.

I would say you could send it to her home with his name on the card and that would suffice. Um, but if they’re both equally your, you know, friends as a couple, then I would send one to each home.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Okay. Great. Um, “is it acceptable to send a gift to the couple from their registry a week after the wedding?”

Mariah Humbert: Sure. Absolutely.

Christa Innis: Then last one. Um, “my family is inviting people to my wedding without asking myself or my fiance, how do I go about uninviting them?” 

Mariah Humbert: Okay. So the uninviting part I don’t think is possible at this point because. How far are you in the process? Did they send to save the date? Was it a verbal discussion? Like, where are you in the process?

You could, unfortunately, your family member is going to have to say that you’re at capacity and it’s going to be on them to have to have that difficult conversation if they’ve already sent an invitation or a save the date, without you knowing, unfortunately, there’s not much you can do about that, but I think that this is a perfect example of one of those things that you have the printed out guest list in front of your family members before you get ready to send out, save the dates, and you say. You take a look at this, you take a look at this because it’s not changing after save the dates go out.

And so this is one of those, those things that you know, but again, maybe you did have that conversation and they didn’t respect that, but you may have to have that conversation with them that we’re at capacity. This is what is ha you know, it’s not about money, it’s not about this. This is the guest list that we had and we don’t appreciate you. Inviting people that we hadn’t discussed as a family when we were originally writing out the guest list.

Because of course, if your parents are paying, they should be able to, you know, contribute to that discussion of who’s being invited. But again, that, that comes with that preparation, right? You sit down with them and you say, okay, we have 150 people, we’ve come up with a hundred and since both parents are contributing to the wedding, here’s 25 for you. Here’s 25 for you.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yeah, definitely. I would say that’s probably like one of the most shocking things I’ve read in some of these stories. People inviting people that were never a part of the list.

Mariah Humbert:  That’s crazy.

Christa Innis: Um, yeah, like I had one that, um, the mother-in-law reprinted her own invitations and sent them out to her friends and they didn’t find out until, I think, I wanna say like someone called them or they bumped into someone. They’re like, oh, I can’t wait for your wedding. And they’re like, what!?

Mariah Humbert: Christa, this is where the etiquette, like it doesn’t eat. This is so beyond anything that like, it’s just like, holy cow.

Christa Innis: Yeah, some, that’s where, yeah, that’s where, like we were saying earlier, it’s like some of these, it’s like. You got so out of left field, you just don’t know who’s showing up. Either that, and I think it was like the mom wouldn’t tell who she invited.

She’s like, oh, just some friends. So that she wouldn’t tell. So they didn’t know who was gonna show up. They didn’t know what places, places to have. So that was probably like one of the most shocking things I’ve I’ve read.

Mariah Humbert: Certainly. Shocking. I mean, I don’t know if you put this on video, but you could see my face. I’m so shocked.

Rapid-Fire Wedding Etiquette: The Rules Everyone Argues About

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Okay. Next little segment is gonna be a rapid fire wedding etiquette edition. Um, so it’ll be kind of like a yes or no for, for these wedding etiquette questions. Okay. Okay. “Is it rude to wear white if it’s not bridal right?”

Mariah Humbert: Yes.

Christa Innis: Yeah. “Should you bring a plus one if your invite doesn’t say so?”

Mariah Humbert: Absolutely not.

Christa Innis: “Is it okay to leave before the cake is cut?” 

Mariah Humbert: Yes. Can I not rapid fire this one? Yeah. I would say again, because we, weddings come in all shapes and sizes now and not everybody does it as a big event. They might do it on the side just for a picture opportunity. They might not even have a cake.

So I would say, you know, in that case, use your judgment of when would be too early. But generally speaking it’s, it’s fine because it’s, weddings are all different now.

Christa Innis: Yeah, right. “Should you post photos before the couple does?” 

Mariah Humbert: No, and that’s again, one of those old fashioned things. Well, can’t be that old fashioned because social media is relatively new, but I would say until the, you know, the couple posts a picture, especially if you have a bride in a traditional gown, they may not wanna share those photos yet.

So, um, seems like everybody does it now, but in my opinion, it’s best not to.

Christa Innis: Yes. And put your phone away during the ceremony.

Mariah Humbert: Oh my goodness. Yes.

Christa Innis: That’s, that’s a big…

Mariah Humbert: That’s a whole other conversation.

Christa Innis: Pay, pay attention to the signs or the officiant who says, put your phone away, please. Yes. Um, “do you have to give a gift if you can’t attend?”

Mariah Humbert: Yes. But it doesn’t need to be anything crazy. Usually I, if I can’t attend, I would pick a small item off of their registry and wish them well with that.

Christa Innis: So you, so even if, let’s say it’s like someone you hardly have a relationship with, you are like really surprised you even got invited. You think still you should send something?

Mariah Humbert: Mm-hmm. I would.  

Christa Innis: Okay. That’s good to know.

Mariah Humbert: They, they, for whatever reason, hopefully they have good intentions, but for whatever reason you made that list, they wanted to celebrate the most important day of their life with you. So if you can spend $20 on it. Something to send to them and wish them well.

And if that’s not something that your budget allows, you can send them a card.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Okay, great. And do you feel the same when it comes to like other events like baby shower, bridal shower, birthday party, sending something?

Mariah Humbert: Same thing. You know, for those smaller events, a card might be plenty. Um, but the, the gesture of, you know, saying I appreciate the invitation and I’m thinking of you is, is really nice.

Christa Innis: Okay. I love that. Um. “Is it rude to decline being in a wedding?”

Mariah Humbert: No, absolutely not. I think that there’s, it’s become really a beast being a part of a wedding these days, right? It’s very financially, um, and it has a large impact financially. It takes a lot of time. You might be in a stage of your life for whatever reason that you’re not able to, and it doesn’t mean that you love that person any less.

But again, this is where as a couple, you need to kind of define the expectation in the beginning to your wedding party of what will be involved. And then if, you’re not able to accept that, to just be honest with them that this is not a time in your life that you’re able to accept this, but it doesn’t mean that their wedding means any less to you, and perhaps you can have a role somewhere else in helping.

Christa Innis: Yeah, and I feel like that’s one of those things, like we’re we’re told like, oh, to take it personal, oh, if someone doesn’t wanna be in our wedding, that’s such a bad thing. But it’s almost like kind because they’re like, they’re like. No. I can’t be my best self in your wedding.

Exactly. I’d rather be there as a guest and support you that way, and I feel like it’s a very mature response to be able to look at their financial finances or their time and be like, this is my best role.

I’m sorry.

Mariah Humbert: Again, don’t  be afraid to have those conversations. You can’t over communicate. Right. So, on, either, on either end. So don’t be afraid to, to have those conversations and don’t put yourself in a situation financially or, you know, time commitment that you’re not able to, again, like you said, show up in the best way.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Yeah. “Um, can some, can you ask someone to step down from the wedding party?”

Mariah Humbert:  Only if it’s an extreme, extreme situation.

Christa Innis: Okay. I do see that a lot of times in stories too. Um, “do you have to invite someone to the wedding if they’re invited to the shower? I see this a lot.”

Mariah Humbert: Yes. This is pr it’s proper etiquette to have, even when it comes to like, from starting with the engagement party, if you have one, again, you might not have your list.

Completely defined by then, but everybody who was invited to the engagement party should also be invited to the wedding. Obviously, the wedding will likely be larger, but everybody invited to the shower should also be going to the wedding. The exception to this is perhaps your job wants to throw you a shower or, um, you know, perhaps you’re part of a team or a, a, a hobby that you have where you don’t have a super, super close relationship with them enough to invite them to the wedding, but they have a small celebration for you. That would be kind of the exception, but the, the general shower should include people who are also invited to the wedding.

Christa Innis: Yes. Yeah. I had never heard of people just getting invited to the shower until I was seeing it in comments, and these women would be like, yeah, is it weird that my niece or whatever just invited me to the shower? And I was like, yes, yes. That’s very yes.

Mariah Humbert: Yes.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Or I guess, unless maybe they’re like eloping and not having a wedding.

Mariah Humbert: Right, right. So of course there’s exceptions, right? Of course. If they’re having like a, you know, like a, like as you said, eloping or doing immediate family only, but this is the way they wanna celebrate. With the other important people in their life. But generally speaking, for a traditional wedding, everyone invited to the shower should also be invited to the wedding.

Christa Innis: Yes. Um, “can you invite someone to the reception only?

Mariah Humbert: Again, if it is a situation where it’s immediate family. And you’re having a private ceremony, and perhaps it’s a religious ceremony or whatever it is, but that would have to be like an all or nothing thing. So it would either have to be just immediate family and then all of the rest of the guests at the reception can’t just be like a handful.

Christa Innis: Right, right. All right. A couple more here. Um, “should the bride and groom greet every table?”

Mariah Humbert: Yes, in some capacity. And again, it’s, it’s hard to say because, some wedding styles don’t have that, like kind of same. Layout anymore, right? That traditional layout. But I would say in some way you should plan to greet your guests.

So even if you’re not having real, a real like sit down situation, but you have like a cocktail situation, you are both making every effort to talk to as many people as you can. And again, this doesn’t have to be like a make or break it situation, but the attempt to greet your guests is important. And if your parents are.

Are also contributing to the wedding and hosting, you may divide and conquer if there’s not enough time, right? Allow them to greet, you know, some guests, you greet some guests, but I would say in a perfect situation, you are making the time to, to visit tables.

Christa Innis: Yeah. We did something, I’ve talked about this before, but we did something called the Mission Impossible at our wedding, where they put on the Mission Impossible Music and then we had to go to every table and get a picture with all of them.

Mariah Humbert: Oh, that’s really fun.

Christa Innis: It was like a quick, fun way to like get in a picture and say like, Hey guys, and like all round up so that we didn’t feel like guilty if we didn’t. I still tried to make an effort to talk to everybody, but like, it still made us feel like, oh, we saw everybody and it was our photographer’s idea.

And she’s like, it’s a great idea. It was at so many weddings and she’s like, it makes people feel like they got to see you and like hug you for a second or chat, you know? And it was great. It was all in like three minutes.

Mariah Humbert: That’s a great idea. But I also think, you know, and I’m a big proponent of host etiquette and guest etiquette, but I think this is the one day too where guests can be.

You know, need to give the couple, the benefit of the doubt that if they don’t make it to the table, it’s not because they’re trying to be rude. Right? There’s, you have so many things to do on this day, and it goes by in a flash, and so I think that the attempt of doing it is. Is the important part, but if the execution is not perfect, don’t be hard on yourself.

This is the one day where even an etiquette trainer will allow you to slip up in that. In that case, yes. It to be realistic, right? You have to be realistic,

Christa Innis: right? Because yeah, you hear of the, like the people pleaser or like super kind bride where she spends her whole night then greeting everybody and she misses out.

So it’s like you do have to kind of take into consideration like what’s your timeline? What do you. Is talking to this person for 30 minutes actually feasible, right? Or do you need hold away?

Mariah Humbert: Right. I mean, we had a, we had a smaller, we had actually a very non-traditional wedding, but we had a smaller, um, wedding.

And even in a small wedding, like just the way the layout was, we started with the tables and then we had to sit down because something else started and we didn’t make it to every single one. Yeah. And I mean the, the, the idea was there, I would, the intention was there, but it, you know, you have to be realistic.

Christa Innis: Yeah, exactly. Um, can the bride’s mom wear the same color as bridesmaids?

Mariah Humbert: If it’s okay with the bride? Mm-hmm. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I feel like it, because some people have very specific color palettes, so they might want all the family in black or all the family in Navy or everybody in a shade of blue. I had, I didn’t have a wedding party, but I had, you know, my mom and mother-in-law and my sister, who was my maid of honor, all in gold.

So I think it’s the, the couple’s preference. Yep.

Christa Innis: I love that. Okay, last one. “How do you handle guests who ignore the dress code?”

Mariah Humbert: There’s nothing that you can do in the moment, unfortunately. And. I would say at the ti, are you, do you think, you mean like, or this was this question maybe in in relation to like on the day?

Christa Innis: Yes. I think on the day,  if someone…

Mariah Humbert: Okay.

Christa Innis: Either wearing white or they’re wearing jeans or you know, whatever.

Mariah Humbert: I want you to be so wrapped up in being excited about your day and excited about marrying the person you’re marrying. That if someone shows up. Totally not dressed properly. It’s on them and not you.

I, I hope that you don’t even realize because you’re so engulfed in joy.

Christa Innis: I know. I had one friend that was like, so I don’t want, I dunno if so, stress is the right way to put it, but she was like overly thinking about this one uncle that wears jeans to every event and she’s like, I just don’t want him to wear jeans.

And I was like, if he does. There’s not much you can do. And like there’s no point in like starting a whole thing with his family ’cause he’s gonna wear jeans. Like if he wears jeans, he’ll be the guy in jeans. Like, and if, and then maybe he just won’t be in photos or you won’t see the bottom half of him.

You know? Um, totally Just don’t let it take away from your joy on that day. ’cause it’s something so minuscule at the end of the day.

Mariah Humbert: Totally. And I, I, I wish guests would be more careful with dress codes and really respect that. This is what the couples desired. Um, but again, it doesn’t always work out that way. But again, I hope you’re, I hope you’re so distracted by the joy of the day that you don’t even notice.

The Wedding Disaster That Somehow Became Perfect

Christa Innis:  Yeah,  exactly. Okay. Time for this week’s story submission. So, okay. Someone sent this into me. Um, feel free to stop me or I’ll take pauses. Okay. Drink some water really quick. Mm-hmm. Because I’m so like raspy.

Okay, here we go. “

When I think back on my wedding, I remember how wonderful it was and how much fun we had. I definitely don’t think about all the drama that led up to it during the planning process, but when I look at it objectively, almost every vendor aside from the main catering company was replaced before the big day.

My oldest friend ghosted me after planning a bachelorette party. I would’ve been miserable at. And my niece ripped the front of my dress right before I walked down the aisle. Yet still, it was truly an amazing day.” Well, that’s a good way to start it. That she’s like, it’s…

Mariah Humbert: I’m like, uhoh, what’s coming?

Christa Innis: Like, she looked at it very positively.

Mariah Humbert: Right.

Christa Innis: All these terrible things happen, but it was still great.

Mariah Humbert: I like her attitude.

Christa Innis: Yes. I feel like a lot of it does have to do with like your attitude and your outlook on the day because Totally. You could let rain ruin your day or you could be like, you know what, look how beautiful these photos are gonna be. You know?

Mariah Humbert: Yes. Perspective is everything.

Christa Innis: Yes. Um, my husband and I chose to get married on my grandparents’ 66th, the wedding anniversary. It was a special date and since my grandfather was ill, we wanted to honor them while. While we still could, we booked a local venue and went through a list of approved vendor vendors, selected a catering company that also provided a day of coordinator.

Two days before the wedding, I received an email that the coordinator I had worked with for months was no longer with the company. A woman I had never met who I also didn’t meet on the, on the day of was taking her place. She assured me everything would be handled, and to her credit, most of it was. But something fell through the cracks.

We had brought s sentimental items like custom cake knife my brother-in-law made, and the champagne flutes from my husband’s grandparents’ wedding for our cake cutting and toast. These never made it to our reception because the new coordinator didn’t know about them and didn’t return my calls the day before the review to review details.

Mariah Humbert: Okay.

Christa Innis: Our videographer was another disaster. I paid a hefty deposit, but two months before the wedding, he told me he was moving outta state, couldn’t refund the money, and then blocked my number and stopped responding to emails. How, I mean, how do you even handle that situation if they block you that like. 

Mariah Humbert: that’s cr, I mean, I maybe you get involved legally.

Christa Innis: I feel like that’s the only way at that point, that’s the only way is that contact them. Right. That’s terrible. Just because he is moving outta state. You wanna lose your… 

Mariah Humbert: This is all the same person that’s had this. Oh goodness.

Christa Innis: It’s wild. Oh my gosh. Thankfully we found another videographer who had a last minute cancellation and could fit us in for a smaller package within our reduced budget. And now you’re out that money till you know you can get it.

Mariah Humbert: Right. That’s why I was saying maybe you need to get involved legally. I don’t, you know?

Christa Innis: Yeah. A week before the wedding, the photographer I had booked was in a car accident. Oh my gosh. This poor bride and groom. And need a knee surgery. The company assigned a replacement photographer who showed up in a short cheetah print dress in fishnet tights.

Her assistant handled the groomsman photos, but never got a solo shot of my husband, even though it was on the shot list. The photographer did a solid job, but her personality and style weren’t what I wouldn’t have chosen if I had a choice. I feel like if you go through like a bigger company and they assign someone you don’t really know.

We are gonna get or what they’re gonna wear. You don’t really have a say on that. Right? I agree. Because that’s what we did and we got really lucky. Like our girl was awesome, she was great and really hands-on, but you don’t really, that’s kinda like the price you pay if you don’t meet them. Right, right.

Um, still I was grateful we had someone there to capture the day. Three weeks before the wedding, our DJ canceled due to a family emergency. 

Mariah Humbert: My goodness.

Christa Innis: This is like a tale. This doesn’t even sound like.

Mariah Humbert: I know it’s a true story, but it doesn’t even sound like it could be.

Christa Innis: No, something’s gotta get sent to me. I like will post and people are like, this can’t be true. And I’m like, I don’t know. This is…

Mariah Humbert: No. A real human wrote it.

Christa Innis: Someone sent it into me. We couldn’t find anyone else on short notice, so we made our own playlist, over 300 songs organized by the event, pre ceremony, ceremony, cocktail hour dinner, and reception. We even spaced out slow and fast songs for a balance and labeled all the key moments like our first dance. Good on them. That’s amazing.

Mariah Humbert: I was going to say, they really are making lemonade out of lemons here. Yes. I think that this is such a good foundation for a really happy and healthy life together with being able to, you know. Figure out all of these solutions at such a high stress time. In the moment, I’m sure they were not thinking about that. They were panicking, but in hindsight, uh, kudos to them.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Honestly, that’s a really good point about like your wedding day and like the, the planning up to it is a really good example of how are you gonna tackle, like issues that come up in your marriage or issues that come up.

Mariah Humbert: Conflict resolution and communication.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Mariah Humbert:  But with that being said, it still sucks.

Christa Innis: Yes, it definitely still sucks and I feel like you can still feel upset about those things. Absolutely. Yeah. Um, she said, unfortunately, once the reception started, a guest decided to hit shuffle completely undoing hours of careful planning.

Mariah Humbert: Oh my goodness.

Christa Innis: Our cake was another curve ball. When my mother-in-law picked it up the night before the wedding, it looked nothing like what we had ordered. After the rehearsal, she brought it to me and spent an hour scraping off the icing and reapplying it to look closer to the inspiration photo. Oh my gosh.

Mariah Humbert: Oh my gosh. This is horrible.

Christa Innis: And then my mom was hospitalized with a kidney infection just four days. I’m like, when does it stop?

Mariah Humbert: Is, is there still more to read?

Christa Innis: There’s still more. There’s still like three paragraphs.

Mariah Humbert: Oh my goodness. This poor couple.

Christa Innis: I’m like, I’m glad that it started with, it was a great day.

Mariah Humbert: And I love her. Right. I love her attitude. I love her attitude. This is, but she has a right to kind of like stamp her, stomp her foot.

Christa Innis: Yes. This is like a full on, you can make this into a movie or something. Right. Right.

My mom was hospitalized with a kidney infection just four days before the wedding. She needed surgery, but was released the morning of, she attended the wedding in a wheelchair and went home after the first dances to rest. Oh my gosh. That’s so sad.

Mariah Humbert: It’s breaking. Oh.

Christa Innis: Some of my favorite photos from that night are of my husband pushing her wheelchair onto the dance floor so we could share our mother-daughter dance. Aw. I didn’t have a maid of honor, just a group of bridesmaids, but my oldest friend tried to take over the bachelorette planning.

I had planned that, I had explained that because our group ranged from ages 17 to 38. I didn’t want to go to bars that my, so my underage sister couldn’t go. Um. So we, and we also needed to keep things budget friendly. I wanted something relaxing and fun with my closest friends and family.

She ignored all of that. Booked an expensive Airbnb, insisted on going to a nightclub and made dinner reservations at a five star steakhouse costing over a hundred dollars per person without drinks. Soon, four of the eight girls called to apologize saying they couldn’t afford it, but still wanted to be a part of the wedding.

At that point, I stepped in, canceled the $600 per person weekend, and planned a cozy hotel night instead. Pizza, junk food, cheesy movies. Um. It cost under $75 each and was exactly what I wanted. My friend ghosted me afterwards and never spoke to me again despite my attempts to reach out. Oh my gosh. Okay.

The day before the wedding, my brother-in-law made a fun of a groomsmen’s suit color and my made fun of the groomsman suit color, and my husband agreed. It was terrible. Until we realized it wasn’t the color we chose.

Mariah Humbert: Oh my gosh.

Christa Innis: Oh no. Men’s warehouse had mixed up the order for every groomsman. After a flurry of calls and panic, another brother-in-law found matching ties at Macy’s and Men’s Warehouse swapped out the vest to coordinate with the gray suits. Crisis averted. Then came the wedding day itself. Oh my gosh. I really hope nothing bad happens on the wedding day.

Mariah Humbert: Oh my goodness.

Christa Innis: Since we didn’t have a DJ and I never met the new coordinator, we asked a friend to play the ceremony music, and as the wedding party walked down the aisle, my flower girls, my nieces were the last to go.

One of them got her shoe caught on the tool of my dress, tearing it right where right before I was supposed to walk, I tried to signal the music guy to pause, but he started playing my walk in music anyway, so I tore the rest of my, so I tore off the rest of the tool layer, stuffed it in a bush, and kept walking like nothing happened. This girl is a rock star.

Mariah Humbert: I bow down to her. I really do. She, you know what, that makes me think that this girl is quick on her feet. She’s, she’s got good perspective. Yeah. I, kudos to her.

Christa Innis: It is. She’s like, you know what? I didn’t need that layer anyway. No, whoop rigShe’s a problem solver.

Mariah Humbert: Like, she’s like redesigning her wedding gown seconds before she’s walking down the aisle. It’s, she’s definitely quick on her V and that’s a really good skill to have in life.

Christa Innis: It is. She’s like, you know what? I didn’t need that layer anyway. No, whoop right off click on her. Yeah. It makes me wonder like what she does for work. She must be like an event coordinator.

Mariah Humbert: Right. Like thinking quick something where you have to be flexible and, and quick on your feet and good at making decisions fast.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Um. To top it off, the dress itself wasn’t even the one I had ordered. But it was still beautiful, honestly. So was everything else. The day may not have gone as planned, but it was perfect in its own way. I married the love of my life and we smiled all night.

Mariah Humbert: I think this is a good lesson for everybody and obviously you put your heart and soul in planning the good day and or the best day and you know, you want things to go perfectly and you want things to be great for your guests and, but you, you really sometimes have to take a step back and it’s so hard when you’re so in it.

I mean, I’m recently married so I remember being so in it, but you take a step back and. Think about, you know, you’re marrying the person that you want to hopefully, and you’re in a room filled with the most important people in your life, which doesn’t happens like at your wedding and then like later in life, right, right.

For a not so happy day. So if you can really focus and have that perspective and zoom out and look at the big picture and which I think that this, this person did a wonderful job at, I think it’s a good lesson for everyone.

Christa Innis: I love that. Yeah, I’ve, I’ve been saying this to people before too, like for my wedding, like I felt like at that point I remember my makeup artist saying like, you are one of the most calm brides I’ve ever done makeup for.

And I was like, well, I figure at this point all my friends and family are here. If something happens. What am I gonna do?

Mariah Humbert: That’s how I felt too on the day of, I was not so chill leading up to it. But on the day, I actually surprised myself. Yeah. But I had the same feeling. I was like, everybody’s that the most important people in my life are here.

So if we sit on the ground and eat pizza, that, you know, like it is what it is. It’s, I get to marry the person I love with the people around me that mean the most. That’s really what it’s with that being said, you are allowed to throw a little fit to yourself. If something doesn’t go, it doesn’t go wrong.

Yeah. As long, I mean, doesn’t go right as long as it’s to yourself.

Christa Innis: Yes. No, absolutely. ’cause I feel like every bride I talked to there, if you look back, I’m sure there’s a couple whole slip ups or a couple things of course happened the the way it was supposed to. Um, but yeah, it is about perspective and being able to look back and just being like, okay, this is like, the most amazing people in my life are here and I’m just, you know, grateful to be surrounded by them. 

Mariah Humbert: Um, yes, and some things you can’t control, right? You try and control so much when you plan your wedding, but some things are just totally out of your control.

Perspective is Everything: Stress Less, Celebrate More

Christa Innis: Yeah, no, for sure. So what would you say, um, like some, like parting advice, as I always, I read confessions.

At the end of this, but with this story and just like people that are maybe in the midst of their wedding planning right now, what’s some like, just parting advice you would say when it comes to like etiquette and planning? Um, maybe wedding stress, um, that kind of comes to mind. I know that’s kind of like a big ballpark, but.

Anything that comes to mind.

Mariah Humbert: I think it, it really goes back to what I said before, that this is the, the day that you, your job is to balance how can I create a great experience for my guests and respect my family and the people contributing to the wedding, but not allow that to take away from me having the day that my partner and I dream of having. You know, how can I respect traditions that are important with my, for my family, but also bring in things that really mean to mean a lot to us as a couple.

Um, so I think that the details are so important because it’s what makes the day. But I think that that story again was the perfect example of, of having a good attitude and communicating well and not letting the stress get the best of you. if you’re really in it that’s such a, I probably would’ve rolled my eyes if someone said that to me when I was planning, like, don’t get the stress, don’t let the stress get to you. But when I look back, I think the one thing I wish I did differently was stress a little less.

And so I think it’s, if you can really focus on that, you’re so socially aware and emotionally and aware that you’re having your dream day, but you’re not forgetting that you’re also touching other people’s lives in the in the process of it. And you kind of have the power to make that a good experience for everyone involved.

Christa Innis: Yeah, that makes me think of too, it’s like if you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, you know, and like something happens, like you stub your toe, it’s gonna be the worst thing in the world. When you wake up and like the sun’s shining and you st your toe, you’re just gonna like laugh it off.

Mariah Humbert: It’s so true.

Christa Innis: It’s like, it’s all about that perspective of like, if you start your day off and you’re like. Three things are gonna go wrong today, whatever. And you just like, enjoy the day and enjoy being surrounded by people. It’s gonna be such a better experience.  You don’t want those little, like, little things get to you. 

Mariah Humbert: Exactly. It’s so hard, but it’s true.

The Weirdest Wedding Gifts & Modern Etiquette Tips

Christa Innis: Yeah. Absolutely. Okay. I always like to like end these with confessions that people send me. Um, so here we go. These are, I always have to zoom in ’cause my eyes. Okay. Um, so.

These are okay. Talking about like wedding gifts and giving people, um, gifts at showers. These are weirdest gifts that people have received.

Mariah Humbert:  Oh, this is fun. Okay.

Christa Innis: Um, “this says a used Turkey roaster.”

Mariah Humbert: Used. Okay.

Christa Innis: That’s probably not very good etiquette.

Mariah Humbert: Okay. Yeah. Don’t listen. I, it’s okay to regift, but it doesn’t, it can’t be used.

Christa Innis: Um, “my husband’s friend gave us a candle and a gallon zip lock full of condoms.” Okay. I did not read that whole thing.

Mariah Humbert: Hey. All right.

Christa Innis: Um, my boss, who was both of our bosses, got us one round TV tray, not one, or not two, one for $10.

Okay. Um. All right, last one here. My father-in-law got a box full of ketchup as a wedding gift, and he loved it. Know your options.

Mariah Humbert: I guess, to each their own maybe that’s what he loves. Maybe that person, but maybe that was the best gift giver because they purchased something for him that he loves. Yeah. Right. It’s about, again, I had, it said it a million times. It’s about the gesture and thinking of the person more so than the monetary value.

Christa Innis: Yes. What’s your take on? Um, ’cause I never thought this was a thing until people were posting, um, wearing black to a wedding.

Mariah Humbert: The, I think that this is very outdated back in the day, it was, you know, much more suited as a color of mourning. It was a more serious color. And, um, but I think that that has evolved over time.

And black can be really chic. Um. That doesn’t mean that it’s black tie, you have to wear black, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wearing black it. It’s also a, a cultural thing too. Different colors at different weddings. So if you’re attending a wedding of a culture that is different from yours, you might wanna do some research or ask a family member of the couple of what the proper protocol is.

Okay. But generally speaking, there’s nothing wrong with wearing black.

Christa Innis: Okay. That’s what I know. I was like reading all these stories about people showing up in black and it seen as a bad thing. And I was like, I think I’ve worn black to a couple weddings, but like. I don’t know. Yeah, I think that’s outdated.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Well, awesome. Well, thank you so much for coming on. I’m so glad…

Mariah Humbert: Oh, my pleasure.

Christa Innis: To connect. I’ve learned so much from you, and I’m sure our audience will too, because I’m always ending questions about etiquette and like, especially when it comes to weddings and events. So this was so awesome.

Mariah Humbert: Well, thank you for having me. This was such a fun conversation.

Christa Innis: And so, um, before you go, can you just share again your social handles where people can find you, the names of your books and all that good stuff? Sure.

Mariah Humbert: So my website is www.oldsouletiquette.com. I’m on Instagram and TikTok as Mariah Grumet Humbert, H-U-M-B-E-R-T.

Um, my first book is, “What Do I Do: Every Wedding Etiquette Question Answered.” And the second book is The Essential Wedding Planner. Awesome. I love it.

Christa Innis: We’ll link them below as well so people can check you. 

Mariah Humbert: Thank you.

Christa Innis:  Thanks so much!